#in the end tho is it really important me doing this stuff for a limited crowd idk but as long as I feel it's something
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p2harmony · 1 year ago
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good p1harmorning !!
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dizzybizz · 11 months ago
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hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay
ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭
(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)
no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever
hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh
i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm
this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????
I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3
i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W
yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????
WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.
also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP
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tookthe-405 · 9 months ago
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Hard to sleep
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bsf!ellie x bsf!reader
Masc!ellie x fem!reader
summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)
It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪
(Happy End)
c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!
authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆
“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”
You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.
“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.
“Holy fuck”
You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.
“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”
You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.
“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”
“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”
You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.
Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.
“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.
“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”
“Um I do?”
You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.
You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.
You just don’t want to fuck this up.
“You should wear a skirt today”
“Huh?”
Ellie appears in the door.
“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again
“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”
Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”
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“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine
Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.
“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”
“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”
“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”
You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.
It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.
That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.
“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”
Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.
And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.
You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.
“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”
Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.
But she just keeps walking and looking forward.
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“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”
Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.
“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.
Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.
You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.
“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.
“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.
“Iris. I sit with her in biology”
“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.
Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.
“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”
Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.
Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.
Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.
“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.
Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.
“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.
You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.
“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”
“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”
“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”
She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?
“Okay she’ll be there”
“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.
“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”
“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting
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“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.
“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.
“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.
It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.
“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.
“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.
“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”
“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”
“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.
Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.
You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.
The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.
You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.
You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.
“Fuck” you whisper annoyed
You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.
I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay
What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?
I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party
You don’t have to do that Ellie
I get it really
I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?
I can hear you say this in my head
Shut up and get ready dork
You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.
In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.
You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.
There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.
You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.
You smile excited and do a little spin.
“is this okay?” You ask her
“Pretty. You look very pretty”
You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.
Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.
“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.
She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.
A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.
Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.
“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”
You whisper in her ear
“I love you too…”
You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.
“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”
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“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”
Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.
“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.
Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.
It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.
Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.
“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.
She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.
“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”
“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.
“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip
You take a step back and look at her really mad now.
“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.
You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.
“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”
Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.
“Don’t fucking Touch me.”
And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.
You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.
You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.
You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.
After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.
Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.
You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.
“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.
“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.
“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”
You look at her with your mouth a bit open.
Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.
“Yes… yeah sure why not”
The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.
You Open a window and lean on to the wall.
“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.
The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.
“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.
“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.
You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.
You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.
“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.
“No but I don’t smoke often”
“Hm”
“Sorry what’s your name?”
She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.
“Abby”
“Nickname?”
“Yeah for Abigail”
“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.
“Thank you… so what do you study?
“Psychology” I murmur
Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.
“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.
“No, general”
“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”
You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.
“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.
“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.
“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”
And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.
“Pre-med”
“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.
“You might become a fucking doctor”
She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.
“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.
You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.
Fuck this woman has some muscles.
You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.
“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.
Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.
You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.
She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.
“What the fuck?”
Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.
“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”
“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”
You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.
But never this mad.
“We’re going”
Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.
“Sorry but you can’t just do that”
“You don’t know shit”
Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.
“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”
Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.
You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.
“Get in” she hisses
You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.
“Ellie-“
“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”
She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.
The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.
You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.
You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.
“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”
Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.
“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“
“I would always choose you”
This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.
“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”
Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.
She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.
You’ll choose each other.
You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.
“I want you to kiss me-“
She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.
If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.
And you would still kiss each other over and over again.
Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.
Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.
“Wait - wait”
She stopped immediately.
“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.
Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.
“I couldn’t do it”
“Couldn’t do what?”
Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face
“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”
Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.
“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”
Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.
“Give me a second”
You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.
Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed
And don’t worry about Ellie
Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.
“You’re okay with sleeping here?”
Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.
“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”
You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.
“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.
“N-no im fine Are you fine?”
You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.
“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.
“Yes I can do that”
You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.
“Can you open my dress for me?”
She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.
The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.
Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.
The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.
A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.
The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.
Her eyes wander over your whole body.
Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.
Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.
“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.
You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.
“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.
She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.
“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.
Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.
It’s all you ever wanted.
All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.
You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.
Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.
“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.
You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”
Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.
Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.
For a while both of you almost fought about the control.
“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.
But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.
Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.
“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.
You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.
“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.
Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.
“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.
It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.
Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.
“Here”
Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.
“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.
The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.
You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.
Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.
You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.
She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.
“I really love these fuck” she whispers
The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.
“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.
“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.
“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“
the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.
“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.
Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.
Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.
She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.
Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.
“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.
“Nothing just happy to be here”
You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.
“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.
Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.
“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“
Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.
“You taste so good, just like I imagined”
Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.
“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”
You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.
“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.
Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.
The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.
Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.
“Ellie- please don’t stop”
She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.
“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.
“Fuck- so close god-“
She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.
“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.
“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”
You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.
You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.
When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.
“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”
You said chuckling.
“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.
“Ew ellie”
“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.
You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.
“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.
“Ellie is this just-“
“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.
“What”
“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”
Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.
She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.
You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.
“I also love you… that for a while as well”
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A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭
And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!
Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!
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urarakasdiary · 7 months ago
Text
-LILY OF THE VALLEY
Jjk men as your lover!
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GOJO
He's head over heels for you and isn't ashamed of showing it.
Protective but not so much so that you feel controlled. He knows the limits.
Always picking/dropping you off. When you're out somewhere: spending time with friends, clubbing, etc. it doesn't matter, he's always beside you, looking over your shoulder. Staying alert.
Definitely spoils you with wayy too many expensive gifts and if not gifts, date nights, picnics and movies are his thing.
Might be a bit too cocky and touchy but will stop when you ask him to.
GETO
Public show of affection is not his first preference but if you like it, he'll do it.
I can see him being overprotective. He knows it's wrong so he tries not to show it.
Is always on the lookout for bad company you have, and will warn you about them.
Doesn't necessarily spoil you but he'll buy you anything you ask him to.
He can be a bit manipulative sometimes, but he knows his flaws and tries fixing them for your sake.
NANAMI
He's an old money guy. Flowers and chocolates every week. Showers you with affection.
Covers you with his jacket when it's cold, and never lets you open any doors, that's his responsibility. And trips to your dream places every month.
Also a big spoiler, more on the high-end stuff. Designer bags, jewelry, coats, clothes whatever you have an interest in. If you're not interested in stuff like that he'll buy/make anything you like.
Acts cold, more so if his work is stressing him out. Random bursts of anger that surprise you, but he would never, ever hurt you.
MEGUMI
Also a guy who does not like public display of affection. Will try his best to avoid it. But at the end of the day, if you do show affection in public, he'll gladly accept it.
I don't see him spoiling you. Quality time with you is more important than giving gifts.
He would never admit it but he loves it when you play with his hair.
It takes a bit for him to open up to you and express himself freely, but you'll get there sometime.
SUKUNA
I have no words.
This dude will not let you breathe. Hyperfixated on you and you alone.
Going out? where? when? with whom? what are you gonna eat? why? you already have me, why do you need anything else?
Possessive, over-protective, ANGER ISSUES.
Loves you more than you could imagine tho.
CHOSO
He's definitely very shy. Even with you.
Wants you all for himself. If someone even looks at you a bit too much, he's picking up a fight.
Doesn't really know how to express his love so he does everything. Acts of service, Gift giving, Quality time, and maybe even physical touch (sometimes).
Gets upset very quickly but he knows how to handle his temper.
I wrote this in a single day because I want to revive my blog 🥲 Very very sorry if it did not meet your expectations Im trying to get back to writing and English being my second language doesn't help either 😭 Requests are now open :) <3
If you want a part 2 just let me know. I'll try to respond as soon as possible 💗
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kyokutsu-sama · 6 months ago
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LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!! Can i request yami x fem!reader (or gn) fluuufffyyyy please, maybe a biiit suggestive but mainly fluff pls!
reader is drunk and we all know yami loves to drink too but readers safety is more important so he stays sober to look after her and make sure she's safe. they come home after a night out and he takes care of her. like, helping her remove the makeup and change clothes. she tries to get into his pants and as much as he wants to he says no bc she's not sober. he does make out with her tho maybe. then cuddles her to sleep! <3333
Hii!!
Oh Lord, I live to write fluff about this man so please send me more requests like this❤️😫
Yami x fem!reader
Tw: Slightly suggestive
_____________________________
This was another one of those nights when you had gone out drinking with Yami. He didn't think you couldn't keep up with him when he drank, but then you acted tough and promised to surpass your limits just to prove the opposite to him.
You were sitting at the counter, after a few mugs of beer, the captain looked at you while you seemed to be entering a euphoric state due to the alcohol.
"I know she can hold on a little longer but I better not drink anymore as I'll probably have to carry her drunk ass home." The captain thought, bringing the drink to his lips
"Yami, do you want to drink another one ?" You held the mug high but he shook his head, denying it. "Come on, just one more!" You insisted
"Nah, I'll pass."
"Okay, I'll order two, so I'll drink for you too." You smiled and winked at him
"This isn't going to end well..." He thought
And so it was, you managed to drink both in a row, which made you start to see everything around and feel your legs tremble and stagger. Even so, you still felt like he could hold on a little longer. He was really proud to see you surpassing your limits as promised but he wasn't willing to see you drink until you passed out.
"I'll order one more,"You said, raising your hand to call the bartender
"Oh no, you won't. You've had enough already." Yami held your hand and you looked at him, pouting
"But I still feel sober! Please, just one more!" You insisted but he didn't let you ask for more
"I think it's time for us to go home." He carried you, bridal style, and took you out of the establishment
He asked Finral to open the portal so you could return.
"Yami, could you take me to the bathroom?" You asked
"Do you need to take a shit?" He tease you and you laughed
"No, you idiot! I just need to remove my makeup."
"Let's go then."
He placed you on the floor and you leaned on his strong arm to hold on, since the alcohol left you without any balance.
He moistened a towel and slowly wiped it over your face, to remove it and you started laughing at him for it.
"What?" He frowned in confusion
"You know that's not how to remove makeup from your face."
"Well, the makeup is coming off your face, so I guess that's how it is." He said, continuing to rub your skin.
"You really don't understand anything about ladies." You laugh
"I'm a man Y/n, I don't put that stuff on my face, like you women do. And I ereally wonder why you wear all that thing, you're already pretty without it."
"Aww you're so cute! you're making me embarrassed now." You snuggled against his arm and he shook his head, rolling his eyes
After finishing, he carried you to the bedroom and sat you on the bed, taking off your shoes. He helped you take off your clothes and that's when things started to heat up a little. When he got up to go get the other clothes, you got up and kissed him, taking him by surprise. He put an arm around your waist to keep you stable while he responded to your sloppy kisses. That actually turn him on a little but due to the fact that you were drunk, Yami didn't want to take advantage of the situation and so he moved away from your lips.
"No, we'll have to save that for another night." He whispered next to your lips
"Please Yami, I need you so much." You whimpered, distributing kisses on his neck and running your hands all over his body. "You know I love you and especially when you take such good care of me" You grabbed his hands and roamed them over you, trying to encourage him but he, still with a lot of effort, held back. This man was on the verge of madness and if he gave in at that moment, no one would sleep in that HQ.
"Baby, my self-control is pushing back it's limits, with all of this." He chuckled
"So why don't you stop resisting and give in? It will be easier."
"No, Y/n. Not today."He whispered, kissing your forehead and hugging you. You knew he was serious when he called you by your name and not by any other nickname.
He sat you down on the bed again and dressed you in your night clothes and placed a peck on your lips.
"You really give a hard time when you drink, you know?" He joked, poking the tip of your nose and you smiled at him
"Don't tell me that a man your size can't handle a girl like me? I expected more from you..." You gave him a suggestive look and he smiled
"You better not forget those words when you're sober because I'm going to prove you wrong." He winked and laid you on the bed, laying down next to you
"And apparently my drunken condition has also left you with a hard problem down here." you put your knee in the middle of his legs but he grabbed your knee, pushing it away
"Keep those knees still, otherwise I'll put you to sleep on the floor." He threatened and you giggled
"You would never do that, would you?"
"No, if you don't give me a reason but you already gave me one." Yami put an arm around your body
"You're breaking my little heart, you know that?"
"Oh shut up." He said, patting your thigh and you laughed
"Thank you for taking care of your drunk lover. You are a good man." You thanked him, kissing his cheek
"Praising me like that makes me embarrassed, dear." Yami said, with a smirk, returning the kiss on your cheek. "But I appreciate the compliment, you're also a good woman."
Without a doubt, the captain's arms were cozy and a comfortable place that made you fall asleep right after a great cuddle session, you two share.
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starrysharks · 7 months ago
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OK so I'm feeling some guilt I started to draw cartoony like you but I get frustrated because it does bot look perfect like yours it's mostly small stuff like colors and clothes I love making cartoony body's sometimes clothing but I have color picking because I'm still new to art that has colors is my feelings normal or is it wrong of me? And how do I pick colors because it frustrated me to no end and made me stop drawing for months anyway in short summary how do I color the right way like I guess I know skin tones but anything else goes wrong and the other summary is how do you draw clothing because I can't for the life of me get clothing right
don't worry - it's normal to get frustrated when drawing. i know i've literally quit and deleted entire illustrations in the past because i didn't like how the colors came out, and i can spend whole hours just choosing base colors TwT i think the important part about learning art is not to rush. i'm seriously flattered you see me as inspiration, but what worked best for me back when i heavily referenced other artists was "mixing" styles together to create a "new" one - so i'd recommend studying and copying multiple artists you like and trying to blend their styles into one if that makes sense! ^^
hating color picking is completely normal when you're first starting out, and even late into art like i said before - i've been making original digital art on ibispaint for about 5 years now, and it's still difficult. but it's easy to make it fun, and the best way to do that imo is to experiment! i'd recommend studying color theory on a larger scale, and understanding how certain colors might look completely different based on where you put them. or maybe make an illustration and color it in a bunch of alternative ways! also, having "bad" or "awful" color skills starting out is OK - i still think my colors suck sometimes even now lol.
anyway, the best way for me to color pick is to just use that color for whatever the OG artist used for their art. let's use alex ahad as an example because i find his art and color use super interesting -
i don't usually color pick, but when i do, i typically start with picking the eye color. then, based off of the eye color, i chose a base color based on the character's color pallete (easier of the eye color is already close to the main color of the character, which for clyde is turquoise).
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then, i pick more colors directly from the reference, for stuff like skin. at this point i have a good idea of the colors i want to use and stop color picking from the ref, but there's no shame if you still feel you need to.
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after that, based on the colors i picked, i'll color in the rest of the piece. i usually end up changing the colors that i did take from the reference due to experimenting - for me, i just use color picking as a sort of stepping stone for when i'm not sure how to color a piece the exact way i want.
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eventually, you can learn to color pick by eye rather than with the picking tool in your art program, tho that takes a lot of knowledge on color theory.
really there is no "right" way to color, especially for skin imo - don't limit yourself to just peach, tan and brown. clyde's skin is bright white, but i still used a yellowy color here because it was relative to the other colors in the piece. i've also used "alien" tones for human-toned characters in the past before!
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and about clothing folds - i can make a full post on that if anybody else is interested OuO
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salty-an-disco · 6 months ago
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Hmm question to see contrast in my perspective how much emphasis do you put on princess desire to be free? Like (I don’t know how to phrase this) besides the god stuff the vessels at surface level being captive women getting screwed over by a flock of birds how forefront was that in your mind?
For me it was like the most important thing to me. To the point I was looking at princess purely at that lens and it made love story part not really stick out to me
So like how about you?
Depends on the princess. She's shaped by perception, after all, and how much freedom means to her is entirely dependent on how much you focused on it. Prisoner and Tower being extremes ends of this spectrum; one is completely trapped and relies entirely on you to have a chance at being free, and the other has the chain more as an accessory than anything; an insignificant set piece for her story.
While it's definitely a valid lens to examine the princess with, much like any One perspective, feels too limiting to apply it every time.
So, yeah, I definitely keep it in mind when exploring characters like Prisoner, Spectre, Nightmare, and Beast, and how that aspect of your relationship shaped them, but for characters like Adversary, Razor, Tower, Stranger, and even Damsel, to an extent, that perspective isn't as useful.
Witch is a special case, because, in the first chapter, that perspective very much applies, by the second chapter, she has taken full control of the cabin, with even the roots around you moving at her behest, and the chain becoming obsolete. Her prison became her territory, and I feel like it's impossible to take that into account when analyzing Witch. That extends to other vessels tho, they have different views/relationships with the cabin itself, not just Quiet.
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remusawoooo · 4 months ago
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anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.
people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this
i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL
hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 
I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.
I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.
Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.
I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.
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Here are some of my issues:
Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:
My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 
Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.
Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.
The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?
I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 
Race:
It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 
This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.
Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:
Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.
Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius�� height, lol)
(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)
Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 
There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 
I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.
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Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!
This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.
Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.
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yumenotambourin · 3 months ago
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do all 3 mouses for the character ask or im shaving elfilis 🪒🪒🪒
I'M SORRY I WAS TRAVELING YESTERDAY AM I STILL IN TIME TO SAVE THEM???
🩷First impression🩵
Elfilin
Very cute! I thought he was quite bland before release already, but I was like 100% sure that it was because the twist was gonna be that he was mass produced.
And then after finishing the game I had a little phase in which I hated him because he was super fucking plot important, yet he didn't do anything and this made me angry, lol
Forgo
As soon as my eyes landed on it, I thought it was Elfilin after some horrific experimentations. But then they showed the actual Elfilin lmao. I thought it was really cute and I didn't want to fight it, thank god it transformed before we fought it. Then I was just awestruck.
Also my mom randomly asked me what it was and I didn't know what to say so I just said something like "a mental parasite species"
Elfilis
The first thought that crossed my mind after seeing them was "oh god they have my exact favorite color scheme I'm gonna be obsessed with them, aren't I?". Breathtakingly beautiful, of an angelicity(?) never seen before from Kirby. Throughout April 2022, I occasionally woke up in the morning wondering wether they were just a dream. The fact that something like them existed in the Kirby universe was astonishing to me.
🩷Impression now🩵
Elfilin
I still think he's severely underdeveloped, but I'm more cool with that now. He's cute and silly and fun, he's a nice contrast to Forgo, and generally an adorable sidekick. Tho I wish there was more of him.
Forgo
Baby. It's very cute, strikes pretty well the balance between creepy and goober, and the superior gemini in my opinion. I like putting it in situations :3
Elfilis
A MOUS!!! As magnificent as the first time I saw them. Except they're now my muse, my guardian angel. My view of them has kinda shifted from "stereotypical perfect lifeform" to "the embodiment of life itself", which kinda recontextualizes them, especially given how hard each mous fought to stay alive, and I find that very inspirational.
I love Elfilis.
🩷Favorite moment🩵
They don't have that many moments so uuuuh
Elfilin
Finding the Light! Perfect way to end the mouces' arc, and goes to show how much of a sweetheart he is.
Forgo
The iconic "everything shall be consumed" is iconic
Elfilis
The only thing that they do, their boss fight 😭 it's stunning and I find myself replaying it more often than normal
🩷Idea for a story🩵
Elfilin
Definitely a plotline where they tackle that he can learn something from Elfilis and/or Forgo as well. I don't like how y'all treat him like he's perfect.
Forgo
I'd like to see it getting used to living a normal happy life :3 the baby has suffered enough
Elfilis
ELFILIS PROLOGUE PLEASE!!! About how they attacked earth and stuff and their capture and maybe even Neichel cameo!!!
(I will not let you forget about Neichel)
🩷Unpopular opinion🩵
Elfilin
As I said before, I hate when people make him out to be this little goody-two-shoes without a single flaw who's juts the embodiment of niceness and kindness and will always do the right thing. Like no??? It's not all black and white! Let him be a proper multilayered character! Let him make mistakes and learn from others! Let him learn from his literal other half!!!
Forgo
Whenever someone says that Forgo is Elfilis an angel loses their wings. Starting from the fact that the game heavily implies if not downright states (I'm on plane I can't check I forgor) that Elfilis = Forgo + Elfilin, why would anyone choose to take two different characters in different situations with likely two different outlooks (ELFILIS WAS SPLIT INTO TWO FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLOT!!! ELFILIS HAS THE HERO OF THE STORY INSIDE THEM!!!) and reduce them to a single, more limited being? Plus, most people with this headcanon are also the "Elfilis/Forgo is pure evil and an irredeemable monster!!!!" people who also really piss me off. Like yeah okay YOU chose to headcanon the traumatized baby and the insane mous as the same character. YOU are the one taking away all the nuance they could possibly have. Also as I said before THATS A TRAUMATIZED BABY!!!
Elfilis
I strongly dislike the headcanon that Elfilis absorbs other creatures into their dna. I feel like it ruins a lot of the charm they have, at least for me, by making their ethereal presentation be stolen from other creatures rather than it just being who they are. Also, while I am a Good Elfilis defender, I love the idea of them destroying planets for fun. It just goes to cement how otherworldy and above it all this creature is. So yeah, I feel like this headcanon takes away a lot of their appeal for me personally.
I also don't like when people make them always angry and grumpy, like do you realize half of them is Elfilin?
🩷Favorite relationship🩵
This is entirely headcanon-based as the mouces don't really interact with anyone besides Elfilin with Kirby
Elfilis and Elfilin and Elfilis and Forgo. More than the three of them together, I prefer each baby mous with Elfilis on their own.
I'm gonna briefly summarize my hc dynamics for them cause I love mice.
Elfilis and Elfilin - Elfilin
As I said before, Elfilin's feelings on his big sibling are very conflicted. On one hand, he feels safe with them, and looks up to them. On the other hand, he fears them. The fact that they just wipe out planets without second thought disturbs him. Although he'd never admit it to himself because he loves them so much. Elfilis, however, is very much aware of Elfilin's feelings. And as much as they're devastated by the guilt of having hurt their little ones so much, they dismss Elfilin's compassion as naivete due to his young age and time spent with the beasts. They're sure he will outgrow it one day and see his superiority, ans in the meantime they remind him that he's their little one and that they'll always love him.
Elfilis and Forgo - Forgo
Forgo sees itself as nothing but a temporary form of Elfilis, unworthy of being seen as anything but. And it's not taking this whole "coexisting with the actual Elfilis" all that well. If the actual Elfilis exists, what purpose does Forgo have? This sends them down an existential crisis. Elfilis doesn't like that. And they're desperate to help it break free from these beliefs. Also, Forgo always saw Elfilis in a very idolized way, as a ruthless monstrous destroyer. But that's not all there is to Elfilis, they can be a little silly sometimes. And Forgo is SEVERELY disappointed. It often calls them an idiot and then feels bad about it because nobody should be reproaching the almighty Fecto Elfilis. Also it exclusively refers to them as "Great One".
🩷Favorite headcanon🩵
Elfilin
Can I be honest? No fucking clue. Maybe that Elfilis teaches him how to fight?
Forgo
I'll make it quick so as not to repeat myself, that it sees itself as nothing more than a temporary form of Elfilis.
Elfilis
The idea that they have no motivation is very important to me. Specifically that they do things purely out of enjoyment. That they're just a force beyond our comprehension who sees everything as insignificant and is just trying to have fun.
ALSO THAT THEY LOVE EACHOTHER VERY MUCH!!!
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eternalpassions · 6 months ago
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honestly, since the end of vk, i always pictured yuuki, kaname and zero as a throuple. i mean, that's what makes the most sense to me ; kaname used zero at first, then came to respect him and understand him because he could see his own feelings for yuuki reflected in zero as well (and they're paralleled so often in the story it makes it even more interesting as dynamic) and zero was genuinely sad about kaname's death and grieved him in his own way (not as much as yuuki, but she tends to shut down/cope with tragic stuff by denying its existence/avoiding it as much as possible) and trusted him as well. obviously the heart of the throuple would be yuuki, its what makes the most sense (she's the object of their desires and love, and she loves them both dearly). but zero, since the moment he was turned into a vampire always had kaname in his life in one form or another and yuuki did too. the heart of the manga and the story was their dynamic, the three of them, in a very fucked up dynamic but it worked well enough to keep us reading. and i feel like that's what's lacking in vkm. the plot itself, in vk, was never truly important, it's just a setting to use in order to make the characters do stuff and i'd say look into what love can be, could look like and the complexity of it (i can't judge vk as silly little shojo manga because it's not to me.) and explore lots of interesting themes, even if some of them are not really explored in depth and i do think that themes of polyamory are present in the manga but hino couldn't go farther with it because she's publishying a shojo manga and this genre has limitations (especially since yaoi itself is another genre). i don't think everyone will agree with me, and that's fine, but it's fun to speculate and analyze all of this together, isn't it? i'd love to know your opinion on this. i hope you're doing well too (personal life and professional!)
Yea honestly Hino never really let’s go of the love triangle. It would be like a mfm threesome. I don’t have anything against kaze but I don’t see them sexually into each other lol. Rather they have an understanding and are okay with Yuuki loving both of them. I haven’t seen just yume together in a while so at this point I’d be more used to seeing the trio together lol. Yea Hino did try hinting the polyamory themes bc of Yuuki loving both but like most media exploring being with two people is taboo so they have to stick with monogamy even tho she loves both. They always do this with love triangles lol. Like the recent movie challengers heavily hinted polyamory but was left on a cliff hanger without answering what happened between the 3
This series annoyed me a lot bc it never really was about loving one person but now I’m used to the trio so I’d be open to seeing it
Thanks
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pumpkinstrawbrew · 1 year ago
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░a░p░e░x░ ░p░r░e░d░a░t░o░r░
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a 🆂🅽🅰🅲🅺
...
(a second batman x venom crossover. i mean, they just kinda keep having similiar themes all around, an' with two my fav halloween freaks. i cannot just pass this chance, haha.
either way, jon n' jack havin' a swell time as you can see. they're at the bottom of the food chain quite literally. poor twinky ghouls are about to become a dinner in more ways, than one. how unfortunate for them! but what a feast for a nosferatu n' alien parasite. one drinks 🩸, the other love eatin' human 🧠, so it's no biggie that both jon an' jack are scrawny an' undernourished. their predators aren't after their meat or limited fat. they are after more individual body parts an' components.
so yes, this is my halloween 'special' thingy! a conjoined mash-up about big bad predator an' their twangy, evil prey. the sort of dynamic, that both pairs had going on at one point or another. less so 'canically' for scarebat, since that series of comics *where batman was a savage vampire* is technically a separate 'what if' reality. but still, jon n' jack had a very real brush with smth, that is way stronger than them. an' only one made it out alive, but oh well, this is what AUs n' other stuff is for. bc how about no, an' how about some more homoerotic take on those scenes? like, it was 'hot' to me in some ways. esp with words like 'territorial dispute' an' implication of batman givin' scarecrow good ole vampire succ, post morten or not.
i honestly always amazed, when the comics does smth very servicing for my tastes / interests, without actually ever tryin' to pander to people like me. it's prob one of the most 'erotic' things to me as to an author. it's like a possible wink wink to someone, who wants to see it. but generally, just a part of the story. not even a big one, but that's just a tasty bit anyways! i always had a weakness to predator/prey thrope, esp when it's less of fluffy, twinlight kind of romance, but instead a gore-ish sort of deal, where one party can end up actually dying even if by pure accident. it provides some pretty big stakes. not to meantion, that there is always an unspoken paralell between sex n' death in horror genre. including consuming / stabbing / sucking blood an' such. it's important for me as horror movies fan. i like there to be some 'love' in my horror, even if it's not traditional or on the nose. it gives all those exederated gore-y / deadly scenes more meaning, if one wants to impliment it there. an' it just makes for a memorable scene as well.
also while i'm not super into the heroes 'turnin' bad' stuff, in this case, there is an appeal of flash / bruce going feral. it's hard to resist the playful thought about how bruce n' flash find their foe tempting, *iresistably attractive*, but in a different manner now. jack n' jon aren't no rosy maiden, who usually gets the spot of main dish / love interest, but this what makes it even better. jon an' jack are walking ginger bread, an' that's that, really. but tbf, they're kind of weirdos, who would always partly dig it. their handsome, brooding *arch*-enemy wants to eat them an' not some random hussie. that's very scary, an' also sexy lol.
still it's one of those moments in comics, where i wish that they kept the secenes going for a bit longer. just expanded on that suggestive possibility of them taking it step futher. but i also get why they didn't drag it out, cuz it wasn't the point of issue, anyways. just some lil fun moment. tho, i do love how batman *out of his mind or not* seemed to have enough mercy on crane to kill him off relativly quickly compared to the others. the riddler, pen-pen *yeah, i call oswald this* n' ivy had to suffer through the whole overdeal with full awarness, feeling their throats being ripped out, as they were still alive. jon was spared of such fate. the bat came, lectured him, broke his hand an' beheaded him. way quicker vs when you have to feel your meat and blood dripping all over ya. an' in venom's case, i loved how jack was so oddly forgiving of flash nearly decapitating him on the spot lol. flash *at that point* had already ate a fella or two. like bruce, he clearly wasn't proud of those times or enjoyd it, but out of all people, who managed to snap him out of the murder mode, it was jack. but hey, not on my watch! no one will die, but someone will be 'consumed', alright. that's just natural order of things or whatever. an' it's so bc i do make all the rules, haha.
as for more technical side of things, i did altered a few things. mainly with flash n' jack. i made flash's berserk venom form smalles an' all black, bc of well...uh, reasons. and also jack has an actual face here lol. also while at first, i wanted to draw him with his trade-mark messed up features, but kinda end up drawing him all 'dolled up' instead lol. so i suppose, along with all other au-ish elements, his face wasn't blown off in this universe either. an' on somewhat unrelated note, i like how both jack *even some of spiderman's ones* and jonathan are usually shown to be brunette or redhead. my pref will always be with those two being redheads, but still, it's a funny thing to ponder on. another technical bit is that, i wanted both jack n' jon being unable to use their hands / arms in one of the picture, since for me it's like snaring a 'prey' and then, they are kinda useless without it too. jon can land one hell of a kick for sure, but it won't help him to push away the vampire from his neck. also no fear gas to spray from his gloves, even if it would have acomplished nothing. in jack's case, it's similiar situation. he can throw / shoot lil flames from his gloves, the only thing that all symbiotes seem to detaste, besides specific levels of noise. but if he can't do it, and it's too risky to shoot flame from his helmet, welp, he's screwed lol. an' i also wanted to use venom's tongue as bondage tool lol. it was one of those things, that i always loved about venom symbiote / carnage looks an' anatomy, is how 'bendy' their bodies are. an' how creepy they can strech their body parts as well. both, bruce n' flash possess superhuman powers in this, so nor jon nor jack is actually a match for them. but taking away even the last of their defenses is a cherry on the top. jonathan is already always spooked animal, an' with someone as dumbly tunel-visioned as jack, it take a tad more to scare him shitless. esp bc he thinks, that he's such hot shit of a mercenary, haha.
so yups, this year batman n' flash got a treat. jack and' jonathan *in comparison* got tentacles and anemia respectively. can this count as trick? i mean, i guess lol. but on bright side, jonathan is kinda bruce's bf / blood bank in this one, an' jack is....well, he's a bitch. i mean, he touched the toxin, so now flash have to 'mark' him lol.
anyway, this is as pg-15 as i can go about it on here. i have two extra adult-ish artworks for these set ups. you can call it a follow up, if you want. here's the link, if someone is curious. but pls remember adults only. while there is no nudity in this one, there is still a clearly sexual cut in it. *also, i'm working on fics related to these set-ups as well. already workshoping vamp!bruce/crane one. sadly, had no free time to finish it all on halloween as well, but hey, it's always halloween on this blog!*)
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bloggedanon · 1 year ago
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TOY COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN. DM IF INTERESTED, OR IF YOU JUST WANT TO DONATE.
Alright, listen up, folks.
My hours have been reduced to nothing for months now on account of disabilities I'm trying to get treated for, I got a med bill I wasn't expectin' in the mail, and now I'm woefully far from bein' able to pay for my upcoming psychiatrist appointment, which I have to pay for by the 24th of this month. This one is really important because there's a strong probablility this one will be the one to prescribe me some meds that just might enable me to be able to acually take care of myself (read: actually function at all) for the first time in my life. I'm prolly gonna need like $300 to cover the appointment. I ain't askin' y'all to help me for free, however.
I can sew together little pillow monster things. They have zipper mouths and button eyes. They're hand-sewn, from a pet-free home.
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This is my oldest (and smallest) example. about 7" wide and tall. The ones I'm proposing to sell will be about 9" wide and tall.
Here are the buttons and (9) zippers I have available for this endeavor. (Sorry about the lighting.) Note the loops on the zipper pulls for easier zipping.
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Uhh, those are soda can pull tabs in the corner. Ignore that, I'm procrastinating on working on a project.
In terms of fabric, I have fleece and flannel of various colors. 'S all preshrunk in a washer and dryer, but I don't have a good way to showcase or store fabric other than shoving it all into one plastic bag. That aside, here's the flannel I have:
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(Dark blue, light blue, teal, white, space [small amount], and scales [purple, blue, and green scales, small amount])
And here's the fleece:
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(Purple, red, orange, and black [small amount])
Note how I have more of some colors in one material or another than in others. This means certain body surface colors may not be possible due to material limitations. I have a whole bunch of thread colors, and just an overall abundance of thread tho 👍
These are custom made to order, and the production is paid in advance. You can do custom colors (body, front vs back color, the color of the inside of the mouth, whether or not you want it to have a tongue, number / color of eyes) and you can POTENTIALLY do other customizations. (Want it to have a ridge on its back like a cartoon dinosaur? Want me to give it horns? Want me to try to figure out how tassles work? Want it to have floppy, doofy, cow-lookin' ears? [I recommend fleece for these kinds of additions, trust me on this one.]) Shape alterations mmmmaayyyyy be possible, but that's pretty dubious. Bear in mind that any customizations / additions will likely drive priduction time wayyy up, and there are things I might not be able to do.
Shipping will be paid seperately, and at the time of shipping. I can't really afford to cover shipping, but also I have no earthly idea how to calculate shipping. I have a tiny scale at home now that I can use to weigh the finished product, but that's about it. These are gonna have to be personally taken to the post office, which means a lot of walking. I dunno, we'll figure it out.
This is all being said and shown in the interest of maximum transparency with this stuff. You will recieve update images with progress on your little monster dude, and you're gonna have to give feedback on the button placements and angles before I sew 'em on so that way I know I've got the look you want on it.
Payments are done over Paypal.
Base price: $35 USD + shipping
Comm slots open: 9
Customizations and additions will add to the price, but the extent to which it happens is (sort of) negotiable. Most customizations are going to be (sort of) experimental on my end, and hand sewing takes forever, especially when you have "everything magically is really hard and takes too long" disease.
If I hit my goal, I'll stop accepting donations. If all 9 commission slots are taken, I will update this post with a good ol'-fashioned pinned reblog and close commissions AND donations. Note that I can only work on one pillow monster at a time, and that it's on a first-come-first-serve basis. If I'm working on one and you want to commission one, I'll let you know and ask if you wanna wait for it. You'll get a number (1-9) to signify whose order I need to do next.
In the meantime, I need to go pop out and sell some blood plasma, probably. 🤡
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enden-k · 11 months ago
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i didn't catch most of the sumeru events and I so get it. i want more of it too, it's like so-so. Big and colorful. fontaine is just sort of the same
Hoyoverse really popped off with sumeru tbh, both characters and quests.
tbh I'm of the opinion that like. there should be one new location event with each update (like the thelxi stuff, tho it was not very exploratory, could have been better) and then they should just do one in a Different nation (I guess they had that poetry thing but it was kinda boring)
also like. they need the hsr thing where you can play story events even after they're done. I missed the fucking interdarshan tournament and I'm still so fucking sad about it. I haven't even been playing genshin all that long and the events already bore me to death. i know they're hard to make but like hoyoverse come on. genshin is you most popular game, Make An Effort
...this kinda turned into complaining I'm sorry. long story short I get you
this is my main issue too and also probably why hoyo decided to take the focus off playable characters and instead make npcs important for events. i have difficulties connecting and feeling so easily so im really unfazed when some random ass same face npc who i know for not even 5mins suddenly dies (cough teppei or what that silly guy was named) or smth- what im saying is that i need the time and chance to know more of this character before i can have a connection and then im able to feel. its why i fucking CRIED and felt so much for jeht and why shes honestly the best npc in this entire game to me HAHAH we honestly need more npcs and stories like jeht and the one cartographer in the chasm etc
anyway
bc hoyo locked some important character stories/lore behind events where the focus was on them (albedos events with SUPER IMPORTANT lore to the game), the scara event before his release, kavehs event,...) it sucks a lot for people who missed those. i guess its why they started to bring in more npcs instead but honestly, those events feel very bland to me most of the time (ofc its different for others) bc of my issue with connecting with a character in a limited time. im excited to see some familiar faces again and then the main story is some random ass npcs lovestory
idk i feel like the events really drop lately. maybe its also just bc im a pampered little noodle spoiled rotten by lantern rite and interdarshan championship. idk if ppl get me there hhghg i think if they either create unique npcs and give us the time and chance to make a connection with them, the events they create around them might get better again. this, or they bring back more events focusing on playable characters but make those accessible after the event end for new players missing them
this turned super long and rambly sorry, im tired and brainless today uhghgh anyway
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chipped-chimera · 1 year ago
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WIP WEDNESDAY - 21/06/23
(I mean it’s technically Friday now between timezones and spoons but have this otherwise I’ll keep forgetting) My first WIP Wednesday! Thanks @theviridianbunny​ for the tag! I’ve been really getting stuck into modding - as well as falling into my usual mod habit of ‘start like six project at once and end up with a million WIP files' but I guess I’ll talk about the major ones.
Graphic design is my passion ...
(Long) rambling about mods I'm making + things I've learned below the cut~
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My V’s tatt project is still ongoing, and I’ve (somewhat begrudgingly) been trying out Substance Painter to work on bits of it, mainly polishing seams between UV maps. It’s definitely got a lot of benefits, especially for graphic placement in really tricky areas (like anywhere in the entire head mesh region for example) but I still think a lot of the heavy work will still be done in Photoshop so I’ll probably be writing up both experiences with them when I do that tutorial I keep hinting at for complex tatt work. I’ve started drafting a tumblr tutorial but I wonder if that’s the best format, maybe a PDF? Google doc? Github wikis look cool? (tho I think I need to pay for that) - if y’all got suggestions for tutorial formats pls let me know!
As for the other arguably overly-ambitious-project-where-I-bit-off-more-than-I-could-chew ...
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H A I R.
Hair has been the bane of my existence for about the past week( ... weeks? Maybe two?), most of it involving cursing, a lot of reverse-engineering game meshes and smashing my head against blender. But if not already evident from my monowire post - I am a stubborn bitch with too much time on my hands so even though there were at least two moments where I wanted to curl up on the floor under my desk and just stay there - we got there.
This all started because my favourite hair mod which I cannot split from my V’s identity was acting funky and the shape of it had been altered since a physics update. It wasn’t her anymore. So I needed new hair. I tried editing the existing hair. I tried importing the old hair mesh. I tried so many things and they didn’t work out one way or they threw a million errors or there were an obnoxious amount of verts.
I even tried looking for replacement mod hair. None of them fit, all of them felt too ‘clean’ for my V. So I just concluded: FINE. I’ll make my own damn hair. From scratch. At least then I’ll actually KNOW what’s going on with the mesh, right?
Problem with hair is tutorials are very limited in respect to Cyberpunk, so I had to learn a lot of this by myself and looking at other processes used for building game hair. I’ve had a previous stint in game design at uni but it was very introductory and more broad-strokes concepts not specific stuff like what ‘real time hair’ is and how you actually go about placing hair-cards (there’s a million different ways btw) but after another 3 days smashing my head against blender I finally got shit to work to a satisfactory level using hair tools for blender and the particle hair grooming system (not the 3.5 blender system, maybe more on that at some point).
Putting together the hair cards I was 120% convinced this was going to blow up in my face, primarily through vert count. But this hair tool plugin? Alarmingly efficient. I was frequently checking my work against Alt's hair mesh (one I was planning on rigging to) and here's the final-ish stats -
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This is with only Alt's hair mesh selected (no cap) and then only my mesh(s - lots of layering to build it up), and by comparison I felt I'd built up the density of a chinchilla. This is not a brag, this is mostly genuine confusion over how efficient this plugin is, all I did was smack around hair curves. It did all the UV mapping junk on the fly.
Although structurally complete, I still consider this a WIP (yes I know there's a reeeeal fun vert funkiness in that second render, it's been fixed) since I'm having to go back and fine-tune some of the UV's the plugins mapped that I'm not happy with and generally figuring out my density problem because if anything, after putting it in-game it felt too dense.
Because yes, somehow I got it in game.
WITH. PHYSICS.
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This may have driven me absolutely up the wall between having to learn blender from scratch then what the heck real time hair is and how that works etc. etc. but ... god, seeing her move back from the mirror and just feeling that instant catharsis of 'IT'S HER!' made it so. Damn. Worth it.
It looks too thick - this might be because I chucked in the 'doubled' feature Wolvenkit comes with because I hadn't spent any time doing backfaces. But it also might be because it's black? That's going to need investigating.
The physics need a lot of work too, I did a pretty rushed weight painting job last night on a merged version of the mesh because I was worried whether it was even viable and I'd already dumped an insane amount of hours into this between trying to salvage the old hair and building a new one (with some more bells and whistles. Mainly - curly). That wasn't without it's issues -
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This almost fucking cracked me, given this was one of the issues I was experiencing before trying to fix an existing mesh mod. Turns out I was just being dumb and forgetting to export the armature, which I'd thought I wasn't supposed to do after having blender throw a bunch of errors on other hair attempts. I gave it a try after one last shot and boom. Worked. (I dunno what those errors were about man but now I know armature? very important).
Will I release this hair? no damn clue, depends on if I can get it to a level I feel is 'releasable'. I already know what I'm calling it though - Venatrix her side-handle I've decided on.
I look forward to adapting it into maybe a comb-back version, as well as a tied up version, so I can show off both her undercut + have the option of NOT hiding every damn tatt I've obsessed over placing on her neck haha.
In other news -
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My much-needed wacom tablet replacement arrived (as well as other things I was looking forward to 👀) meaning my Wacom Cintiq, workhorse of ten years can finally enjoy her retirement. Her controls were getting funky, she had a few dead pixels but man. I'm convinced they won't make them like her ever again. Either way she's done unfortunately - upgrading my monitor to 2k made this painfully obvious. I don't think it's even running in full HD, it's that old. And with Phantom Liberty coming out this year? I'm probably going to need a new videocard and DVI compatibility isn't really a thing anymore.
So for future I think I'll just stick to the basic tablet set up, invest in screens. Also now I FINALLY know what her hair is gonna look like and with the tablet here, I can get back to work on the tattoo bodysuit.
Anyways, that's it for now! (Jesus Christ did you really read all of this? If you did you're a fucking trooper). Sorry for the extended ramble but MAN I did a lot, I needed to yell.
Till next time Chooms! Thanks again @theviridianbunny for the tag~ <3
Oh shit wait, have the blender renders before I forget because hahah I figured out how to do that too lol -
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luthordamnvers · 4 months ago
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1 for Mayhem fic & 9 for DEBS :)
1.Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?
mayhem fic... it just downed on me that i wrote 3 fics for that... but i'm going to assume supercorp one... (tho i'll try to keep it from my pov, if snowy wants to do the game and add her experience) The idea had been in the idea doc for.... a while. So when we received the go ahead to cowrite for the event, we brainstormed a few ideas about what to write, I shared said doc with @snowydragonscave and she was immediately drawn to the soulmate trope, as she always wanted to write one. Still, I was in the middle of finishing my supercortober23 fic (mind you, it was mid-January) And my brain was still on that.. Still, I wrote 2 proposed outlines, one that was a single chapter, and the 3 chapter proposal that we ended up going with. This was my first co write, so honestly, I just wasn't sure about how it was going to work, and I have anxiety, so that was interesting. Snowy had been my editor for a while, so I wasn't necessarily nervous about writing with her, but more like the logistics of it. (we have 6+hours difference, so the overlap where we could actually write together was somewhat limited even without accounting for writers block and such) So, once I finished sctober in late February, we immediately jumped to mayhem. We decided for the 3 chapter thing, and the 3rd one being the true cowrite as it would be both characters and with the 2 previous ones giving us enough time to get into their mindset. Snowy is a Kara girl (in the sense that in my humble opinion, no other author in fandom describes her and her thoughts the way she does, that is so real and with such deepness, but i digress) so I proposed she'd take kara's chapter, as we had previously been talking about how she rarely writes AUs, and how she wanted to explore gender identity with Kara and some other things. And I was perfectly okay with exploring Lena's side of having 400 soulmates. There was a bit of miscommunication at the start, but again, my first cowrite and i'm pretty bad communicating stuff, but once we got over that it was a pretty smooth sailing. We felt incredibly bad for @rustingcat once she was assigned as our artist because we had... like 20k+ words and they hadn't even met so she had literally nothing to draw, but a ~vibe. Also, this fic kept expanding, and expanding, and yet we kept wanting to add more stuff that we felt was important. Like I wanted to keep exploring Lena's dynamic with Lex, and I had to actively restraint myself for adding more scenes about her relationship with both Jack and Andrea (like Lena's petty ass was going to tell her about meeting Andrea's soulmate during their fallout, if you know you know) But I had to remind myself that this was a supercorp fic, and thus they should be the focus. We published on May 31, I was done with chapter 3 by the 28th, Snowy still wanted to punch up stuff... all this to say.... around 3 months. We didn't take breaks, necessarily, but sometimes you need to take a step back (on said days, i wrote/drew the dansen one) And i kept fiddling with other programs to write... I wrote a lot of it by hand. So then I had to transcribe... it wasn't necessarily an easy writing, but I loved the journey and I'm pretty proud of the result.
9. Did you get stuck at any point? How did you get past that?
DEBS: Absolutely. It was my first fic, so sweet summer child me, really thought they could jot down a chapter a week, because chapter 1 and 2 were, all things considered, really fast and easy to write. Then i got to Chapter 4 and I always envisioned it as "dansen's chapter" and chapter 5 would be "nia's/brainia's chapter", I didn't found Alex or Nia's pov as easy to write as I found Kara and Lena's... And then I had to remind myself that this was a supercorp fic (do you see a trend here???) So I combined the two chapters, but then I found myself struggling with (now) chapter 5 because that was the smut chapter and.. turns out, I'm not very good at that. There was a month between chapter 3 and 4. And 2 months between each of the next 2 chapters. My saving was actually writing a different fic between chapters... I wrote self indulgence here, and I wrote my first dansen fic, i got pretty consistent and it worked for me. And then I hit six months between chapter 6 and 7/8. I got blocked, I wrote my first supercorptober because of that, to try and get out of it (also bitching about it on discord, that was important). i think it worked... though it took me a while to get back into that fic, but I was determined to finish it... I still have not been able to read it... hopefully soon.
Thanks for asking, dear 💜 tho I'm pretty sure you already knew all of this.
[ask game]
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pixeldoodles · 10 months ago
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Hi :D
(Last Update; Nov/11/2024)
Hi, I’m PixelDoodles, but you can just call me Pixel.
I use she/her pronouns.
Strawpage lol
I’m in a lot of fandoms, but my main hyperfixations at the moment are the OSC (Object Show Community) and Gravity Falls (and also I’ve been getting into vocaloid lately).
I usually just reblog things or say whatever pops into my head, but I also like to draw and will occasionally post fanart!
I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸
DNI: the basic dni list, such as but not limited to proshippers, zionists, terfs, pedos, those who prejudice against others. Also people who make me uncomfortable. I tend to block at random or at immediate contact, so beware.
Please interact: People in my fandoms, people who like the same characters I do, and Mutuals.
Please do not any me for donations. I truly want to help as much as I can, but I am unable to donate, as I do not have any money. Please do not take this personal.
(continue reading for more information)
I’m a bit quiet compared to other people, so if we’re mutuals and we don’t interact, don’t take it personal; I just suck at human interaction :(
I don’t mind inbox stuff tho. However if we’re not mutuals then stay away from the DMs.
Tagging System:
#the speakerrr: Me speaking. I just saying whatever my brain thinks is alright.
#my posts: Anything I post.
#my art: Very different from #my posts. It is exclusively my art.
#self destruct posts: Posts that I’ll probably delete soon.
#vague posting: There is no way to tell what I am yapping about. This is usually paired with self destruct posts.
To get a better grasp of my personality, my kin list includes:
Remote (BFDI)
Clock (BFDI)
ENA (ENA)
Four (BFDI)
X (BFDI)
Bive (Regretevator)
Napstablook (Undertale)
Teardrop (BFDI)
Ice Cube (BFDI)
There are a lot more characters but I don’t feel like adding them so here are the main ones. Yeah, there’s a lot of BFDI. This show has taken over my life.
BFDI fascinates me. I am very hooked on the lore. Also, as you can see on my banner, I also really like the EXIT and the EXITors. I know the story ended, idc I love them.
Music taste jumpscare. This isn’t important I just wanted to share it.
I am neurodivergent (ADHD) and lgbtq+ (idk lol). And a minor so nothing weird.
I hope you have a nice day :]
Bye :3
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