#in the end I guess they're like from two different worlds and it wouldn't last

[melien]

[utilitycaster]

Following on the last answer you gave about Laura/Ashley.

What I'm stuck on is that this fear of making a mistake is not a new thing? They've been like this for all of this campaign, note Ashley not wanting to take the shard, Laura's constant fear of letting Imogen's mom stay on the moon, etc. And to a degree, I get it! Exandria is a pretty expensive and important source material - there's an Amazon series!!! - and it's scary to make any huge decisions in it. Additionally, I understand the feeling that there's something specific that the DM wants and you're just not getting it. But I keep wondering, how hard is it for Matt to sit them down and be like. Fuck around man, it's fine! (Or even the opposite! Give them some railroads, they're all over the place!) You know? It just feels to me that Matt can solve so many of these problems outside the stream with a quick convo and I'm so confused why that's not happening.

(I didn't watch this episode completely because the discussion at the end was giving me a very bad case of secondhand embarrassment due to how stupid it was. So if this happened and I missed it, feel free to ignore this.)

Yeah that is where I am at, and this is the MOST speculative I will get to the point that I'm making it nonrebloggable but my personal guess is that like. I watched a LOT of interviews at the start of C2, as a new viewer who was looking for more stuff (which...ultimately just resulted in a C1 binge) and the cast was at the time very cognizant of wanting to prove C1 wasn't a fluke and that they could tell another great story in the world with new characters. But they also prepped EXTENSIVELY for it; and also, in this case, I think a lot of the world was in a somewhat more nebulous state (ie, I think Matt probably had the concept of an ancient archmage plotting to release a god-eater possibly that far back...but I think Liam's concept for Caleb very much influenced the nature of the Assembly and gave Matt a place to put proto-Ludinus).

I think that with two campaigns under their belt, I don't want to say they rested on their laurels, because as I've said repeatedly the caliber of the vast majority of other things they've put out has remained high. But I think that because Campaigns 1 and 2 came together so well Matt might not have realized that Campaign 3, and his fairly specific intended plot, required more work and different work. Like, it required the level of planning and railroading you see for dimension 20 seasons. Campaign 2 could meander and focus on characters because the main goal it needed to achieve in a presumably 3 campaign story was worldbuilding, and I wonder if the fact that it diverged almost entirely from Matt's vision and still came out great obfuscated the fact that this wouldn't work for C3. Campaign 3 really needed to have realized and invested characters right out the gate with knowledge of the world. Like, I think it could have been solved with a conversation but I also think that there's been some sufficient "wtf" choices (bringing in Abu as the Arch Heart without any specific guidelines is one that comes to mind) that I wonder if the cast has entirely internalized how much this doesn't cohere narratively. And also, to be fair, I've played in D&D campaigns that didn't have a great plot or really any at all but I was having enough fun hanging out with my friends that I didn't really care, and since we weren't being filmed it didn't matter. It's a lot easier to see this stuff from the outside, is my thought. I don't think it's hard in terms of time and effort, but also, I know I kept thinking "oh HERE'S the course correction, finally!" pretty much up until the last ten or so episodes. I wouldn't be surprised if he kept thinking "surely this will pull together."

[moons-and-mobility-aids]

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen | Chapter Seventeen | Chapter Eighteen | Chapter Nineteen | Chapter Twenty | Chapter Twenty-One | Chapter Twenty-Two | Chapter Twenty-Three | Chapter Twenty-Four | Chapter Twenty-Five | Chapter Twenty-Six | Chapter Twenty-Seven

Content Warnings: Adult content (video of female masturbation, male masturbation), mostly accurate depictions of being an onlyfans creator (hi, I am one), reader is fem, uses a wheelchair, and has cerebral palsy.

The week stretches on, a bit quieter now without your usual messages. The men wouldn't admit it aloud, perhaps not even to themselves, but they're acutely aware of your absence.

It's not as if they aren't busy. There's always content to create, subscribers to engage with, and the constant cycle of filming and editing that never truly ends. But even in the midst of their bustling schedules, there's a sense of something missing, an undercurrent that hums just beneath the surface every time they glance at their OnlyFans inbox.

You're still around, of course—in the form of videos and photos and updates that linger like echoes in their feeds—but it's not the same. The direct line from you to them is silent, its vibrant energy muted by your break. The flirty banter, the warmth of your words seeping through screens, the thrill of that ping heralding a message from you—all absent while you take time for yourself.

They know you're away for personal reasons—James had relayed as much to Remus and Sirius after you'd mentioned you'd be taking a break. None of them pry into why; it's not their place, and they respect your privacy. But that doesn't fill the void left by your absence, doesn't quell the quiet anticipation that stirs within each time their phone lights up with a notification, hoping against hope it might be you.

The moment you come back online, James is, of course, the first to know. A week has passed since your abrupt departure, and he's grown accustomed to checking for your scheduled posts, even if it doesn't feel the same without you there. But today, something is different. As he scrolls through his OnlyFans messages, his heart skips a beat at the sight of your familiar username. There's a message for him.

His pulse quickens as he opens the notification, knowing that this means you're alright and now in touch with him once again.

You: Hey, Prongs! 💖 Thanks again for the generous tip last week—it really meant a lot. I'm feeling much better now and back to answering messages. As a thank-you, I've attached a special video just for you, Moony, and Padfoot. 😘 Hope you all enjoy it!

The text arrives with a video attachment, marked as 'For your eyes only.' It’s an exclusive piece of content, free and specifically tailored for them. His heart begins to pound in his chest—not just from the thrill of new magic, but also from the promise of hearing from you after a week of silence. He can't help but grin, excitement causing his fingertips to tingle.

He sends a quick message to the group chat he shares with Sirius and Remus. Sirius is supposed to be in the middle of filming a custom video, so James knows better than to shout across their flat. And Remus is likely deep into editing, headphones on and world out, so he wouldn’t hear James if he called out anyway.

James: Guess who's back and just sent us a special video?

The response from Sirius is surprisingly instant, the anticipation palpable even through the pixels on the screen.

Sirius: I need to see this! Give me two minutes to clean up.

Remus takes a bit longer, his reply thoughtful as always, yet carrying an undercurrent of curiosity that mirrors your own.

Remus: A special video, huh? Looks like today’s shaping up to be more interesting than I thought.

A chuckle escapes James as he imagines their faces, the three of them huddled together around whatever device they can find, ready to press play. There's an intimacy to this ritual, not just because it ends with them tangled in each other, their bodies humming with release—that's been their dynamic for years now.

James quickly sets up his laptop on the coffee table, deciding that a larger screen might be a nice change. They all settle onto the couch, Sirius still only in his boxers, hair dishevelled from filming. Remus rolls his eyes at the sight, but there's fondness in the gesture, even as they're about to get off to your latest video. The air between them crackles with anticipation, a current that's grown stronger over the past few weeks.

The first glimpse of your face on screen sends a rush through them all, that familiar thrill that comes with each new video. You're in what appears to be your bedroom, the lighting soft and warm against your skin. You're nude, a sight that stirs their blood, but it's your eyes that capture James first—bright and playful, drawing him in even before you speak.

"Hey, Prongs," you purr into the microphone, your voice a sultry melody that wraps around them all. Your legs part wider, the camera angle leaving nothing to the imagination. The sight of your arousal is blatant—a provocation that has Sirius shifting in his seat, his pulse quickening. "Moony, Padfoot... I've been thinking about you lot." A slow, teasing smile spreads across your lips, and James feels a corresponding tug in his gut. "It's been a while, and thought I'd give you something special tonight."

A collective intake of breath fills the room as you lean back, revealing your entire body to the hungry gaze of the camera. Your hand moves, almost casually, to pick up a small device from beside you—a toy James recognises instantly. It's a clit suction vibrator, a recent addition to your videos, but this time it feels different. More intimate, like you're using it just for them.

The toy slips between your thighs, an intimate buzz that makes you gasp. It's not just the sensation, though that sends a warm flush spreading through your body—it's the knowledge of the eyes on you, unseen yet keenly felt.

James' breath hitches as he watches you squirm, the muscles in his thighs tightening with each small movement you make. The heat in his chest flares brighter, hotter—your pleasure reflected back at him, stoking the fire within. His hand itches to mimic the rhythm of your toy, but he stays still, captivated by the sight of you lost in bliss.

Your head tilts back, exposing the curve of your throat—a silent, yearning invitation as you shift your hips against the toy buzzing against your clit. And all the while, your eyes never leave the camera, as if you can see them right there with you, sharing in this intimate moment.

"I've missed you all," you confess, the words barely more than a whisper but laden with longing. "I've been thinking about how you'd react...how much I know you enjoy watching me like this."

A low growl rumbles in Sirius' throat, his hands already working to free his cock from the confines of his boxers. His gaze is glued to the screen, drinking in every detail—the way your chest rises and falls, the slight tremble in your thighs, the soft sighs that escape your lips.

"She knows exactly what she's doing," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire and mirroring the tension coiling tighter within all three men.

James grunts in agreement, already unzipping his jeans to free his aching length, thumb swiping over the tip. There's no room for hesitation, not when you're there, spread out before them, your body reacting to the toy as you climb higher.

Remus's gaze is glued to the screen, his breath hitching as your pleasure mounts, your moans spilling out into the quiet space. He leans back against the couch, hand dipping beneath the waistband of his sweats to wrap around his hardened cock, stroking himself slow and steady. Your voice, quivering with ecstasy, wraps around them tighter than any enchantment. The sensation is intoxicating—overwhelming. It's as if they’re right there with you, watching you unravel at their command.

"I know you've been waiting for this," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the hum of the toy. Your body trembles as another wave hits you, the suction relentless against your swollen clit. "So I'm going to give you exactly what you want."

James's hand moves faster, his knuckles brushing against the rough fabric of his jeans. The sight of you, your body writhing and your voice calling out to them—it's too much, too real. It feels like you're there with them, speaking directly to their deepest desires. He glances at Sirius, whose hand is a blur in his lap, matching the rhythm of your cries.

Remus is quieter, more controlled. His eyes never leave the screen, the tension visible in the set of his jaw, the way his fingers curl around his length. Every gasp you let out is mirrored in the tightening of his grip, the quickening of his breath.

Your hips buck against the toy, your breath coming in ragged gasps as the pleasure builds to a crescendo. “I’m so close,” you whisper, your voice breaking as you look into the camera, your eyes dark with desire. “Come with me, all three of you.”

That's all it takes to unravel them. James's body stiffens, his breath catching in his throat as he finds his release, his eyes never leaving the screen where you teeter on the brink of ecstasy. The soft keen that slips past your lips fills the room, and for a moment, everything else fades away. It's just you, your body quaking with pleasure, and them, utterly consumed by the sight.

"Fuck," Sirius groans, his body jerking as he follows suit, surrendering to the relentless pull of desire. Remus is last, his orgasm quieter, more controlled, but the look in his eyes as he shudders and spills over speaks volumes.

The video ends there, with you lying on the bed, a satisfied smile playing on your lips and your chest rising and falling as you catch your breath. You turn your head to face the camera, your eyes gleaming with amusement. "Hope that was worth the wait, guys," you purr, your voice soft and teasing.

And then the screen goes dark.

For a moment, the room is silent save for the sound of their own breathing—shallow, uneven—as they come back to themselves, the afterimages of what they've just seen still burning behind their eyelids. They've watched together before, but this... This was different. More intimate. A glimpse into a part of you they'd only ever imagined.

Sirius is the first to break the silence, letting out a low whistle as he leans back against the couch, his expression unreadable. "Well, fuck me," he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face as he tries to make sense of the storm of emotions brewing inside him. "She's... She's something else."

"Isn't she?" James exhales, sinking further into the cushions. His fingers drum against the armrest, a rhythmless melody reflecting the turmoil beneath his calm exterior.

Remus doesn't reply right away, his attention fixed on the now blank screen of the laptop. ”She knows how to get under our skin," he says at last, his voice low and thoughtful, the words barely more than a whisper. Yet they carry a weight that seems to fill the room, pressing down on all three men with an intensity that belies their simplicity.

James lets out a dry chuckle, running a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "That she does, Remus. That she does." He looks at the others, his hazel eyes holding a spark of defiance despite the situation. "And she knows we're hooked."

The three of them sit quietly for a moment, the glow of the screen casting long shadows across the room. The echo of your moans still seem to hang in the air, even though the video has ended. It's strange how quickly this has become a part of their lives—this connection with you, even if it's only through the ether.

They are still getting to know you, still trying to understand what it all means. But one thing is clear: you have their full attention.

As the night deepens, James picks up his phone again, thumb hovering over the keyboard. He takes a moment, considering his words before he types out a response.

ProngsPlayground_free: That was brilliant. You've made our week with that, I swear. 😏 Can't wait to see what you get up to next. Thanks for thinking of us. 💖

He hits send, the satisfaction settling into his bones. What comes next is anyone's guess, but they're content to let the events unfold as they may. With you back online, there's no doubt things are about to get interesting again.

Taglist: @alohastitch0626

[demani-dusk]

I don't know anything about Translation State yet and yes I am reblogging every Imperial Radch post I can as preparation for reading it, but I'm very excited because I love Translator Zeiat a lot and a thing I might sort have picked up is that we'll be getting more to do with her whole deal.

I love Translator Zeiat less as I love as character and more as a narrative device, sorry Zeiat, although I do find her hysterical. I love how she underlines themes around identity and categorization by breaking down the way we talk about these things into absurdities.

The most obvious part of the book where she's doing this is when she's explaining about cakes and how if she separates the cakes with fruits from the cake without fruit they're different, but if she mixes them together then they're all the same again. She can add a counter and call it cake and then it's cake too! At this point, it's fairly apparent she's talking about people and how there are different kinds of humans. And in this case, that's what she means to talk about. Or rather, she is talking about how words work in general and it's very apparent this insight is most helpful when talking about categorizing people.

But like, what else has she got going on? She accepts Breq deciding that she's Zeiat and not Dlique. By the end of Ancillary Mercy we don't really know how translators work or how correct Breq may have been, but it works out because Zeiat is so very happy she's Zeiat and not Dlique. This is very Gender to me, the way arbitrarily being called something different causes Zeiat to behave differently and she's so Happy about it. She talks about how if she were to go home everyone would call her Dlique and she wouldn't like it. It's also a fun scifi way to raise the question to the reader, what does it mean to be one thing and not another? By forcing the reader to try to figure out what is going on with the translators' identities, we have to just, think about how identity works. And it's a theme for the series. Sick!

Fish sauce is a condiment, not a drink. That fish is for looking at, not for eating. Have you noticed that these fish cakes are entirely the same on the inside but the other fish have very complicated insides? All I'm saying is, what's the difference between a citizen and a noncitizen? One of them is Civilized and the other isn't.

And my favorite is Zeiat finding Breq in the infirmary and re-introducing herself and saying she'll miss the old fleet captain. This must be a new fleet captain, because the old fleet captain had two legs! All of these scenes are so so funny to me, but this is very interesting to say to Breq imo, the last ancillary of a dead troop carrier. How different is it for Zeiat to call her a new person than for people who know her history to think of her as "Breq," and not "Justice of Toren?" I guess I also love this because I similarly love the way Breq's story in Ancillary Justice plays with mathematical identity in a fun scifi way while the whole series plays with gender identity in a different kind of fun scifi way, and both of these are part of a commentary on identity and empire in the real world. It's good scifi! !!!

[amethystina]

Hi there! I don’t know if you’ve ever answered something like this before, but since you have such great writing skills and a nice taste (and by nice I mean similar to mine lol) in ships, I was wondering what your favorite books are (top 5, maybe?).

And since your latest ships seem to have a pattern, are there any books you’ve read that feature similar dynamics?

That being said, with the ending of The Right Set of Circumstances and Who Holds the Devil being far from concluded, I’m really looking forward to A New Dawn or anything Gahan-related.

Hope you’re feeling a little better! Congrats on your skills; I really appreciate them.

I have not answered a question like this before, no. But, as a librarian, I am of course delighted to do so! Reading is one of my biggest hobbies and I make sure to read at least 20 books a year. It has been a tradition for the last nine-ten years or so (and that's not counting any of the fanfics I might partake in as well).

I just think that, as a writer, it's important to have input as well as output. A writer who doesn't read may be perfectly servicable, but they will stagnate sooner or later. They might be creative enough not to run out of ideas, but they'll be stuck with the same vocabulary and understanding of whatever language they're writing in for the rest of their career. So, to me, reading is vital in keeping my writing engaging and exciting. And it's especially important for someone like me who's writing in a language that's not my native tongue. If I didn't read copious amounts, I wouldn't know even half of the words currently in my vocabulary — let alone how to use them.

But, with that said, I'm terrible at listing my favourite books. Not because I don't have favourites — I most certainly do — but because I have a hard time listing things. I can't accurately compare many of the books I've read because they're from so many different genres and have offered me wildly different experiences. It's the same with movies, TV shows, and practically everything else I like. It's incredibly rare for me to be able to definitively say which ones are my Top 5. It's just not something my brain is capable of doing, it seems, unless it's narrowed down to a small enough scope that I can see the full picture.

Another thing about the books I read is that they don't always match what I write. Some of the books I love the most aren't even close to what I, myself, want to write. And I've found that, with books, I focus less on the tropes and dynamics than, say, what joy they bring me or what they can teach me about writing. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that while several of my ships have a pattern (I am, apparently, into age differences? Who knew?) the books I like do not. Or not to the same degree, I guess? There are some that come kind of close that I can pick out from my pile of favourites, sure, but they're not the majority. I think I'm just more broad in my tastes in books than I am in my taste of ships and haven't made an effort — nor do I want — to try and combine the two.

BUT YEAH. With that very long explanation out of the way, here are a couple of books that are important to me for one reason or another. They're not ranked, nor are they flawless pieces of literature — and not everyone will like them — but they gave me something and that's what matters to me.

Luck in the Shadows by Lynn Flewelling — If someone asked me for my favourite fantasy series, nine times out of ten, this would be my answer. I found this at a point in my life when I was dying for an engaging fantasy epic and this delivered in every single way that I wanted. It's complex, has great world-building, lovely characters, is full of intrigue, and is also gay. What's not to love? I absolutely devoured the first three books in this series. That said, it features some heavy themes and I haven't actually read all of the books yet so I can't guarantee that it stays good all the way through. But based on what I've read so far? Fucking outstanding.

Red Leaves by Thomas H. Cook — By no means the best book I've ever read, but it taught me a lot about unreliable narrators, characterisation, how to pace and angle a story, and how important words actually are when writing. How certain choices can affect not just the story you're telling, but the emotions of the reader. This book focuses on a man whose teenage son is suspected of having kidnapped a little girl and just what that does to his view of his son, their relationship, and himself as a father. It's truly fascinating with a focus on the psychological that I truly enjoy. It also taught me a thing or two about gut-punching twists. So there's that.

Days Without End by Sebastian Barry — This book is an Experience. And I mean that in the best way possible. This book isn't for everyone since it's slow and ambling and not the easiest to read, but dear LORD is it amazing. Never, in my entire life, have I read a book so atmospheric. I shit you not when I say that I had to read it with an accent to get the syntax and rhythm of the sentences right. It is pitch-perfect. And crafted so meticulously that my head kind of spins when I think about it. This was the book that made me see how important rhythm, cadence, and word choices are because they can, in fact, influence the reading experience to the point where it feels like the author is taking you by the hand and gently guiding you down the path of the story. And that's something I've tried to incorporate in my own writing, to the best of my abilities. A tip from my wife: If this book feels difficult in text format, read it on audiobook instead since, at least in the version she listened to, the narrator had the correct accent which made the whole thing a lot easier.

Blood Harvest by Sharon J. Bolton — The book that has probably scared me the most in my entire life. And it's not even a horror? But, again, it's all about the atmosphere and the fact that some of the sections are told from the POV of a young boy and you can't really be sure if he's a reliable narrator but if he is then what the ever-loving fuck is going on in this town? That's scarier than ghosts to me. Very eerie, well-crafted, and with the bonus of a disabled main character. But it does also feature quite heavy and disturbing subjects (child sexual abuse, to name one) so please be careful.

The Good Son by Jeong You-Jeong — This is a slow, claustrophobic, and ambling descent into insanity and I absolutely love it. The focus is on the characters, their relationships, and the slow unravelling of both. As with most Korean literature, it's very contained and direct, without too much flowery language, and I think that definitely works in its favour. The steady growing unease and tension are exquisite and I appreciate the focus that's put on the main character's thoughts, actions, and behaviour. It's exactly the kind of thing you'd expect me to enjoy if you've read my fanfics. Also, incidentally, Yo Han is going to recommend this book to Ga On in The Devil's Due (if I ever get to writing it) because Yo Han is a fucking menace who loves to push Ga On's buttons and twist his perception. You'll understand what I mean if you read it.

The Circle by Mats Strandberg and Sara Bergmark Elfgren — This is a Swedish young adult series that is so good but also so unnerving. Because it doesn't shy away from difficult subjects and knows how to ramp up the tension and suspense in a way that's truly masterful. I also appreciate that it's very female-focused and that the characters are far from flawless. Some of their actions are outright problematic, even abhorrent. But the beauty of this series is that that's the point. They're supposed to be flawed and they're supposed to make the wrong decisions — because they're human. This book is about a group of human teenage girls put in an extraordinary situation and, as you might expect, the results may vary. I truly recommend it to people who want to learn a bit more about flawed characters and, again, unreliable narrators.

___

Those are all books that have influenced my writing but if you want a list more focused on romance of the M/M variety (which, admittedly, is what I read the most) where at least some lean towards the same dynamics I have for my ships, here are some favourites. The majority of them are of the historical or fantasy variety because that's just where my heart truly lies. I know that doesn't show in my own writing, but that has more to do with my own performance anxiety than anything else, I think. I haven't really dared to dabble too much in those genres.

And so, without further ado:

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by K.J. Charles — Or just books by K. J. Charles in general, I guess? They're delightful, down-to-earth, and easy to read. The characters feel like actual people and not everyone is drop-dead gorgeous all the time. I've been reading a lot of her works lately because they give me just what I want and bring me a lot of comfort.

The Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian — Or, again, just books by Cat Sebastian in general. She, too, has a very nice grasp on characters, tone, and can build a really nice story that's not dependent on unnecessary drama. They're comfortable and nice and I love them.

The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks by Josh Lanyon — Another writer whose works I really enjoy, though the focus here is usually contemporary suspense and murder mysteries. Of the kind that manages to feel urgent and tense but without turning dark and gory — which I appreciate. Also, Josh Lanyon has perfected dry, sarcastic humour into an art. One I am very jealous of, not going to lie.

The Capital by A. H. Lee — I ploughed through this series. Like, I don't even know what happened? It's a fantasy story with intrigue and necromancy and amazing characters and magic and lovely world-building. This, for example, is one of the few books I've read where the social issues of LGBTQIA+ rights are touched upon in a fantasy setting. I really liked that. I'm probably going to re-read this series during 2025.

Kill Game by Cordelia Kingsbridge — This is another contemporary series about a serial killer and the cops who hunt said serial killer. So this is a bit darker but, boy, is it a ride. The series is a bit of a slow burn that bleeds into established relationship as it progresses and I just love that shit. Also, it took me until, like, book four (of five) before I could pinpoint who the killer was which is really impressive. Usually, I can do so within the first third of a story. It did drag at times, but the time you get to spend getting to know the characters makes up for that, I think.

Peter Darling by Austin Chant — I adore this book. It's a delicious, wonderful enemies-to-lovers that honestly made me go a little feral. But in a soft way, if that's possible? This book made me feel creative and excited and I was so invested in the characters and the slow build of attraction and awareness between them. I felt high after I finished it. I don't know if anyone else will feel that way (I might just have been very excited that day xD) but it worked really well for me. Highly recommend.

___

And there you have it! Because I can't miss an opportunity to talk about books, I guess xD (and give you more than you asked for)

But please remember to look up triggers and such before you read! I admit that I didn't try to list them all here, mainly because I don't know what people will find triggering so I'd probably miss some even if I tried.

As for my own writing, I hope to finish a couple of projects during 2025, A New Dawn definitely being one of them. Hopefully also some of the shorter Gahan projects I have, plus some older fics I have lying around for other fandoms that I just haven't been able to complete yet. Having too many projects makes me restless and while the easiest solution would be to dump some of them, I don't have the heart to do that when there's just another chapter or two to go.

So yeah. Next year will hopefully involve me finishing a couple of projects, especially old ones I should have completed long ago.

Wish me luck!

[texasthoughtsaboutnothing]

The Stranger and my thoughts on where each LCB Sinner is at (Long)

Hey, I actually sat down and read L'etranger, Meursault's source novel. I've got some fucking feelings about it, especially relating it to Limbus Company and what it might mean for his Canto in like 2 years.

Firstly, you should read or listen to this book. It's short, surprisingly punchy, and easy to follow. I (probably) don't have autism but I can absolutely see a read of this where the character does or is neurodivergent in some other way; beyond his relationship and evaluation of social queues and norms he also seems to deal with sensory issues. There are better people than me who should talk about this and I'm probably not adding a lot to the conversation but keeping this reading in my head for the climax added an extra layer of discomfort (intentional discomfort for the benefit of the story's message, I should say) to the whole book. But It's worth experiencing even if you disagree with that reading or have a different one.

Limbus Brainrot/Spoiler stuff from here on in.

There's always the question of where exactly each Sinner is in their story as they're on the bus. Their stories have been reinterpreted and/or jumbled in ways that make it fun to guess, so to go over each Sinner and where they are based on what we know or my theories:

Yi Sang - I'm not gonna front, I don't really get The WIngs, but this seems like a Good End AU for him. He already escaped his "Wife's" control and the sunless room and is now flying again (metaphorically, or maybe literally? i dont know help me).

Faust - Likely in the middle of the part where she's using Mephistopheles' power to do good in the world and prior to her being damned to hell. Side note, she's last to get a Canto and I bet it's not a coincidence that (afaik) she and Dante are the only two with Hell in their stories directly. My long shot call is that Faust is also Beatrice and there will be so much DantexFaust ship art in 2026.

Don Quixote - The biggest enigma. La Sangre de Sancho has gripped the imagination of the fandom and I am no exception. She's next after Heathcliff so we'll get her some time in August at the latest and I can't wait. My best guess is she's currently gallivanting and will be forced home in her Canto, assuming Don is Sancho theory isn't true. Praying her Canto is called The Impossible.

Ryoshu - In Hell Screen, the reason the painter is obsessed with torture is that he can only paint what he has seen and is trying to paint the Buddhist Hell. In his quest for his art he destroys his life and those around him, and ends up committing suicide over it. But there is a villain in the form of the Lord who beyond driving the story by requesting the screen in the first place is guilty of SA and murder. I'm expecting we're post story; the Lord is related to the five fingers, the daughter might be recast as a friend or something, and the sword Ryoshu carries is likely the screen. Nothing revolutionary in my guesses here, but it's either going to be that straight-forward or insanely abstract, where she's the lord and the painter and the daughter and the screen and the sword is the monkey or some shit.

Hong Lu - I have not yet read Dream of a Red Chamber, it's next on the list. Forgive me!

Heathcliff - Oh boy. Like many, I expect he is post-spurning by Catherine and is on his journey for his fortune on the LCB. So, his Canto will be about coming home to a beloved who is with someone else. Yes, the beloved blorbo will suffer for my amusement. Let's go 3 hours Heathmael sex scene!

Ishmael - We now know her story already kinda happened, as many expected, making this a bizarre sequel to Moby Dick. I think it gave PM a lot of room to do whatever they wanted to while still sticking to the themes of the story. Already wrote about what I loved about this and the recontextualizing of Ahab as a whale unto herself (which I don't actually know if it's in the original novel, but it wouldn't surprise me).

Rodion - A weird one. Her inciting incident happened, the murdering of the landlord/pawnbroker, but the unintentional death of the innocent sister was shifted to the entire damn block. So if I had to guess she's in the period after her crime trying to avoid being caught, but no police officer allegory has really been introduced yet. I read Crime and Punishment years ago so I can't say for certain but it feels the most loosely adapted and suffers a tad for being part of the intro. Rodya's story is in no way finished so it's up in the air. Praying for a Petrovich just so people can meet the OG Columbo.

Sinclair - Still need to read Demian, but I have a rough understanding of the plot. Also unfinished in his story, Sinclair has a long way to go to his self-realization. This feels more intentional however, I remember someone made an observation of Cinqlair as representative of his drunken college years where he's popular but unfulfilled, and I think we can extend that to all of his IDs. He seems to have the most potential of all the Sinners, so much so that I wouldn't be surprised if there's a mirror world where he's a Color unto himself. I digress, the point is he's pre Frau Eva (who if she turn's out to be the Purple Tear I will lose my mind) who is also called Beatrice at some point so what's up with that PM?

Outis - Another big mystery, especially as she isn't Odysseus but Outis, a name referencing a particular part of the Odyssey with the Cyclops. I have to imagine she's on the Odyssey, journeying home after the Smoke War (which might have some parallels with the Trojan War beyond the obvious). It's interesting all the Greek myth named Abnormalities are Hospital themed, might be something there but nothing I can parse from my limited knowledge of Greek society and folklore. While she' might be a traitor, I'm thinking she's joined Limbus Company to hide while on her journey; she might be wanted dead by something and is concealing her identity after what happened in the war.

Greg - Again, a character post-story. He was locked in a room, he metamorphized, and... well he's alive? So we've diverged from the source novel, as it's taken the allegorical meanings and made them more literal, but Hermann is still around and a major player so who knows where this will go?

Meursault - I have so many thoughts. Meursault could be anywhere in his story, but I'm going to guess it's one of two places. First guess, we're completely pre story. His Canto opens with him getting a message that Maman died today, or maybe yesterday, he doesn't know. So the whole story plays out over the course of the Canto. But more likely, and my prediction, is that he's currently in "jail" awaiting his execution or acquittal. He has already murdered a man (or done some other crime) and instead of being tried for that, he has been tried and sentenced for his peculiarities of character. Bound in the chains of others, the multitudes have tightened their hold (I'm very clever and not cringe at all).

So I have to wonder what light blinded him, overwhelmed him so much that it led to his crime? The Bright Nights and Dark Days are an obvious choice, and I'm not the first to suggest it. Perhaps he distorted? Anyway, his story ends with him having given up on acquittal and instead hoping for a crowd of people hating him as he approaches the guillotine. I'm super interested in how this will play out in Limbus, especially as he must survive for gameplay purposes.

Also, Meursault is so horny. Like, oh my god. Half of his thoughts are of Marie, specifically of wanting her and all the connotations that contains. He spurns God in the face of a Chaplain, saying that He is worth nothing compared to a single hair on a woman's head. Meursault is not a romantic but not just some horndog either, his desire for sex and women and their bodies feels like an extension of his worldview centered on the immediacy of life and not just debauchery or hedonism. It's a part of the idea life is lived as today, yesterday, and tomorrow, and there is joy and happiness in that simplicity. I feel like this will get cut for Limbus but I hope it isn't, I want Meursault to casually admit he desires every Sinner on the bus carnally (yes the men and NB too, probably just a HC but I do believe that the City is a binormative society based on its already loose relationship to gender identity).

So uh, that's the thoughts so far. Merry Christmas, I guess.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: March 2024

March was so !!!!!! so fucking long, but that means that I got to read a lot of books - more than I did in January or February. they're pretty all over the place in terms of quality, but I think they're also all going to be pretty memorable in one way or another. shall we discuss?

what have I been reading?

The Ballad of Perilous Graves (Alex Jennings, 2022) - I bought this novel at Crescent City Books in New Orleans last June, then tucked it away to wait for exactly the right moment. and I'm so glad I did, because it was a gorgeous little flash of NOLA in the middle of a gray midwestern winter funk. this novel is so, SO steeped in celebrating the art, history, and culture of New Orleans, creating a version of the city filled with talking animals, living songs, and moving graffiti that hardly even feels that different than the real New Orleans. and in this book, Nola is distinct from New Orleans; there's some interesting multiverse stuff going on in the city that might be really interesting to my fellow fans of Dimension 20's Unsleeping City and N.K. Jemisin's City We Became. not every part of the book totally worked for me: the parts of the books following the kids - the titular Perilous "Perry" Graves and company - are definitely the strongest, and the actual details of how the plot got resolved got a little muddled for me before the surprisingly abrupt end. but! it must be said that the vibes are immaculate, and vibes will get you really far with me. I want to see a thousand more stories set in this world.

Thank You For Sharing (Rachel Runya Katz, 2023) - with god as my witness this was one of the most boring romance novels I've ever read, and that's saying something considering I literally just read Red String Theory. what I really adore are romances that take place at around an 11 on a scale of 1-10, under circumstances where absolutely no normal person should even be able to contemplate fucking but our protagonists power through because they're horny to a degree that renders them clinically unwell. this book was hovering somewhere around a 2; it's literally just two adults having jobs and hanging out in pretty mundane circumstances. the only thing that really strains my belief is that an otherwise well-adjusted woman is still upset about something that happened at summer camp over a decade ago, but I guess if she wasn't mad about something then the protagonists wouldn't be able to have a conversation about their feelings to show off how good they are at therapy speak.

Africa Is Not a Country: Notes on a Bright Continent (Dipo Faloyin, 2022) - genuinely one of the most excellent pieces of nonfiction that I've read in a hot minute. Faloyin's book consists of interconnected essays that just dazzlingly brilliant, in turns solemn, sardonic, and sly, always ready to offer the audience a little wink as it subverts expectations. Faloyin walks the reader through the history of several African countries, from colonial looting to rocky political regimes to the common tropes that plague modern media with depictions of Africa as universally backwards, impoverished, and struggling. I really felt like I was *learning* while I was reading this book and learning the specifics of so many places that are often portrayed as interchangeable in American media. I really sincerely can't recommend this enough, it's an excellent read.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon (Kimberly Lemming, 2024) - I can't in good conscience say that I enjoyed this book, but it is kind of a great read if you enjoy updating your housemates on the latest bullshit in your horny fantasy romance. Lemming's in a weird middle ground where she's putting a lot of effort into the backstory of the world that justifies our protagonist (who's named CINNAMON HOTPEPPER!!!!) meeting and hooking up with a demon (who's also a dragon, because all monsters are just a subspecies of demon. I'm not crazy about that but the worst part by far is definitely that his dragon form has hair) but also stops giving a shit about it the second it's not necessary. like (spoilers) but all of the human characters are REALLY chill about finding out that the goddess they've been worshipping for CENTURIES is actually an evil lich? and there's another human character who pretty casually watches the city where she's spent her entire life get razed to the ground by monsters with absolutely zero remorse, which is genuinely bananas. also this book misses SOOOO many opportunities to be really nasty horny because it's so focused on hyping up Cinnamon and Fallon's all-consuming five day spiral into unhinged magical demon marriage. even the "light bondage" promised in the content warning was disappointing; the emphasis was definitely more on the "light" than the "bondage." what does a bitch have to do to find a decent monsterfucker book. for the love of god please.

It Came From the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror (ed. Joe Vallese, 2022) - I've heard a lot of hype about this book, an anthology of queer writers musing about the queerness that draws them to the horror genre. I was expecting the essays to be of an analytical nature, but it turns out they're much more personal. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but some of these essays ended up falling SUPER flat for me, with weak analogies that felt like the result of authors remembering at the last second that they were supposed to be relating their life to a horror movie somehow. which isn't to say that there weren't high points as well, but overall the collection was low lows and medium highs for me.

Sex Criminals Volume One: One Weird Trick (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2014) - I'm trying so hard to remember to read comics that aren't 30 year old Batman stories, and my friend Emily lent this to me months ago when I helped them move, so it seemed like high time to get around to checking out Sex Criminals. the premise is fun! what if time stopped when you had an orgasm? then what if you met someone else with the same ability and the two of you could have sex and run around in a time-stopped world together? and then what if you robbed banks? and I'm a huge fan of that. the writing isn't the most gripping thing in the world, and now that it's a decade old I find that it feels very emblematic of the kind of aggressively offbeat, Whedon-ish writing style that felt like it was really unavoidable in the 2010s, which I can't say has aged MAGNIFICENTLY for me. but I'm willing to read more, see where this series goes, and give it the chance to really win me over. stay tuned for Volume Two!

Rental Person Who Does Nothing (Shoji Morimoto, trans. Don Knotting 2023) - I can't decide if I want to sit Morimoto down for dinner to pick his brain or just skip the niceties and put his brain in a jar to study it, but either way this guy definitely has something fascinating going on. tl;dr: in this memoir Morimoto recounts his experiences using Twitter to let other people hire him out as a person who will do nothing. "doing nothing" covers all kinds of things: accompanying people to eat a meal that they felt too self-conscious to eat alone, keeping someone company so they don't get distracted while they should be working, or waving goodbye to a stranger at a train station. he's not paid for this, either, or at least doesn't charge a fixed rate; all the Morimoto asks for is the price of his train ticket to meet clients, who sometimes buy him extra gifts as a thank you. there are so many FASCINATING ideas presented in this book about work and value and interpersonal connection, and yet the book clocks in at under 200 pages. Morimoto isn't here to tell you how to feel about anything he's done, only to present some experiences and let you unravel the meaning for yourself. and I guess that's sort of brilliant. throughout the memoir he's adamant that Rental Person doesn't offer advice or tell anyone what to do, offering only basic responses when prompted. telling someone else what to think or attempting to offer up any wisdom gleaned from his rental work would count as doing something, wouldn't it? I really recommend checking it out for yourself and deciding what you think, especially if you're in a slump seeking something quick, engaging, and easy to read.

[thecurioustale]

I Watched Videos of Star Trek Films that Don't Exist, and They're Surreal AF

If I were ever going to make a Star Trek film, I know what the premise would be. I've thought about it a lot over the years. I have the whole beginning of it completely storyboarded and blocked out in my mind. This opening sequence is a set piece with mystery, action, and adventure, and really it's an entire, self-contained story unto itself.

I'm going to talk about all of that, and show you a video that is screwing with my mind, and more besides, under the fold!

CAPTION: J.M. Colt stands with her hands behind her back in the Roddenberry Archive video "765874."

The Inspirational, Infatuational J.M. Colt

My Star Trek film would feature the original Star Trek character of J.M. Colt in the starring role.

(Tangent: If you're not a hardcore Trekkie, you may have never heard of Colt. She only appeared in the original Star Trek pilot "The Cage" (the one featuring Captain Pike), and was basically the most peripheral member of the Enterprise crew to still get her name in the credits. She was the captain's new yeoman (a secretarial personal assistant), the previous one having recently been killed on a landing mission. Pike was feeling guilt over his last yeoman's death, and for protective patriarchal reasons he didn't like it that his new yeoman was female. Meanwhile, Colt herself was head-over-heels crushing on Pike, which led to some deep awkwardness between the two of them. Although Colt had very little to do in the story, she was one of the officers to get kidnapped by the Talosians and held prisoner alongside Pike, in the Talosians' misguided hope that Pike would pick one of his female shipmates to mate with and create a self-sustaining line of humans for the Talosians' zoo. This is all a bit chauvinistic and patronizing of course, but the dynamics between them are a natural enough thing in human behavior, and in any case—and more importantly—Colt behaved with professionalism and bravery throughout the entire episode, including choosing to stand her ground in the face of death when Number One set the phaser to overload to deprive the Talosians of human zoo animals.)

We never saw Colt again after "The Cage," except in a few beta-canonical comics and novels. In the original Star Trek series she was replaced by Yeoman Janice Rand, who gave off very different vibes. Colt is also not present as a character in the present-day Star Trek: Strange New Worlds show (notwithstanding the easter egg of an unrelated alien extra named "Colt" on the background of the Enterprise bridge in one scene of Season 2 of Star Trek: Discovery) , so most Star Trek fans today don't even know Colt exists.

But she certainly made an impression on me! Some of it was actor Laurel Goodwin's beauty, I guess. Other than her being skinny and not especially tall, Colt is basically my ideal of a beautiful partner, and she was one of many visual influences on my creation of Silence Terlais.

But it's not just beauty: There is something tantalizing about a character whom we are introduced to, and whom come to like, but never get to truly "know" because they aren't developed very far, or aren't the center of attention, or the media they're in ends. I feel this way about Tasha Yar from Star Trek: The Next Generation as well. She died in the first season, so there's a huge "What if?" hanging over her. That's what Colt is for me: "What if?"

Because Colt had so little time with us and was then cast away and forgotten, my imagination is free to run wild about who she might have become and what she might have achieved. And maybe it's for the best this way. I don't like how they treated Yeoman Rand in the series, and I'm sure they would have done much the same to Colt. And for all that disrespect she wouldn't have gotten much screentime anyway. So, if anything, maybe it's better that Colt only ever appeared once and was left an immaculate mystery ever after, unsullied by '60s misogyny and 2010s cynicism alike.

More so than beauty, then, this tantalizing sense of mysterious incompleteness is the biggest reason why I actually based not one but two characters in The Curious Tale off of J.M. Colt: There's Jayem Colt (not so subtle, eh?), who keeps the red hair but is much older (about 55 – 60 in our years) and is the captain of one of Silence's sandships. This Colt later goes on to join the Handsel Band as one of its leaders. And then there is Ravel Vraske, who has brown hair but otherwise looks reminiscent of the original Colt and is about the same age as her. Ravel is one of the last survivors of deceased Guard of Galavar Zirin Aloryane's doomed-before-the-story-begins project to bring the Galance Ideal to Relance and therein sway the nations of the world to join Gala without using force or violence. Ravel proves indispensable in the Handsel Band and over time becomes its best "swayer."

But the original J.M. Colt remained a tantalizing figure for me too, all through the years. I like to imagine that she built a great career in Starfleet and rose to become the captain of her own starship one day.

Star Trek: J '79

It's no secret that I think Star Trek: The Motion Picture is the greatest Star Trek film ever made by an order of magnitude, and one of the best science fiction films of all time.

At the end of that film, as you may recall, the lost NASA probe Voyager 6—elevated by an alien machine civilization into this massive, conscious entity—has returned to Earth to complete its centuries-old mission of learning all that is learnable and returning that information to its "creator."

In the film, we never actually learn whether this happens. Decker inputs the final command personally, and he and Probe-Ilia physically join with "Vejur" (or "V'Ger" if you like) and transcend the Universe. Presumably, Vejur would have transmitted its information before it went, since that was its purpose after all, but we're never told either way. (And while some fans speculate that it didn't happen, due to Vejur destroying its own antenna lead and fixing on Decker as the one to deliver its report to, neither of these speculations necessarily precludes the possibility that Vejur still transmitted its report.)

I like to imagine that it did happen, that Earth was inundated with hundreds of years worth of learning from a Galaxy-spanning scientific demigod of its own creation, and that this was a major reason as to why and how the Federation became so much more advanced and prosperous over the next hundred years by the time Star Trek: The Next Generation came around. I like to imagine that it would have taken the Federation's best minds many decades to delve into all the information that Vejur sent, all its secrets and mysteries (still not fully comprehending everything), and I expect that the ensuing discoveries would have caused great upheaval and transformation as the Federation assimilated all that knowledge. And I like to imagine that Vejur's treasure trove of information led to a great many starship expeditions to investigate curious things that Vejur documented across the Galaxy.

My Star Trek film concept would take this premise and run with it. The movie I envision making mostly draws from the aesthetic and tonal palette of Star Trek: The Motion Picture (hence the working title of "J '79"), right down to those groovy Starfleet uniforms and those luscious '70s décor styles. And it would keep the film's sense of wonder and optimism, humanism and discovery, mystery and exploration—which has often been lacking in Star Trek media. But my movie would also draw somewhat from the underappreciated horror vibes from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which is probably the scariest and most gruesome of the thirteen Star Trek films to date, even though most people remember it as an action film.

But, basically, I would pitch my Star Trek film as a direct sequel to Star Trek: The Motion Picture—except with a different ship and crew.

The Opening Set Piece of Star Trek J '79

In the darkness of space, a Constitution Class Refit starship appears without any fanfare. It's not the Enterprise; it's another ship; but it looks just like the Enterprise we know from the original movies.

There is no star nearby. In the distance there is a modestly glowing, magenta nebula which provides a pale, wan light that just barely describes the contours of a rogue planet that's dark purple, black, and brown. There's no captain's log, no speaking of any kind.

We cut to the planet's surface, as a sizable landing party beams down in the foreboding style of the middle TOS Star Trek films. The planet is silent, all except for the tiniest rustle of a breeze. The atmosphere is completely minimal and unbreathable, but neither is it noxious, so instead of wearing full-helmet suits the landing party only has nasal breathers—plus jackets since it's very cold.

There is no life. But there are spectacular, ancient ruins, in stone so black and glassy that it's like looking into the void. Domes and pyramids and viaducts, all standing or lying in ruin amid countless years of sand and rock.

The landing party members perform their initial scans and report to the Captain, who sends them off in various directions to explore different points of interest. He remains behind to check out some smaller ruins in the immediate vicinity, and one of the other officers stays with him—a redheaded female officer whose name you can probably guess. He asks her advice, and what she gives him is sound and wise, but also rather limited, as a good advisor arguably should be: not packaging instructions so as to be the de facto leader themselves, but identifying relevant information and leaving it to the actual leader to make the decisions.

Vejur had learned of a magnificent, vast civilization, unspeakably ancient and now long gone, but remembered by a number of present-day civilizations through their monumental ruins. A bit like the Iconians or the Tkon Empire, for example, if you know your Star Trek lore—but not actually either of those civilizations. Older than both! None survives today who knows what these ancients called themselves, so they are referred to only by the descriptions left in text and tablature: the Feathered Builders. (A bit Chozolike, if you will, but also clearly not the Chozo.)

This starship, it turns out—I've toyed with calling it the Constitution but have never settled on a name that completely satisfied me—has been on a mission for nine months trying to track down one of the Feathered Builders' major planets. The most important planets were all "lost" countless ages ago, making it difficult to gather information about the Feathered Builders' civilization or learn the secrets of their technology. The Federation had never even heard of the "Feathered Builders" until Vejur came along and did its thing, but once they did learn they put Starfleet on the case, and the Constitution has managed to finally track down one of the lost capital planets.

This all comes out in expository dialogue as the Captain and Colt explore some of the ruins.

As the investigation ensues, we begin to see the Captain making some questionable leadership decisions. Colt advises him where she can, but he's in command and he has the final say.

I'm going to spare you some spoilers (I'll explain why later), and instead I'll just say that, eventually, the landing party is able to activate an ancient device in the ruins that causes a massive tumult and brings to life an image of one of these Feathered Builders, somewhat similar to the Tkon guardian portal from the TNG episode "The Last Outpost." This custodial being speaks with the Captain, explaining that the Feathered Builders evolved and department from three-dimensional space-time. But the Captain doesn't acquit himself to the custodian's liking and the conversation gradually deteriorates until reaching the breaking point, where the Feathered Builder custodian decides not to provide the Starfleet officers with the information they are seeking. Instead, it commences to sweep up all of the ruins on the planet, violently spiriting them away to some other plane of existence so that the humans can never do anything with them.

At the last moment, Colt intervenes and takes over, trying to salvage the situation by revealing to the custodian and to us in the audience that she is the real captain of the Constitution and that this had been a field training exercise for the person we had thought was the Captain, who turns out to actually be her first officer. Colt pleads with the custodian to reconsider its decision, but the custodian is unmoved and soon every trace of artifice on the planet is completely gone, leaving the landing party alone with nothing but sand and rock: another dead end in nine long months full of them. Though at least they didn't lose their skins!

And from there the opening set piece moves forward into the movie proper, with Colt back on the ship explaining to her first officer that she plans not to recommend him for promotion, etc., and setting the main events of the movie into motion. It turns out that Colt is actually one of Starfleet's training captains, known for taking marginal command candidates under her wing and discerning which ones can be forged into captains and which ones just aren't fit for it despite being close. And this poor fellow is one of the ones who isn't quite there. He's not a villain, not evil, not stupid. He's just not quite good enough. We're always told that it's hard to be a starship captain and that very few people can pull it off, but we're rarely actually shown this reality in Star Trek. I thought this would make for a powerful thematic statement befitting of the opening scene of my movie, given the overall story of said movie.

Making Do with Reality

Of course, they're never going to approach me to direct Star Trek. And I succeeded a long time ago in divorcing my creative ambitions for science fiction out of Star Trek and putting them into my own science fiction series, Galaxy Federal.

So what I've done, in dribs and drabs over the past few years, is adapt my Star Trek movie concept for use in a future Galaxy Federal novel. Not the "Inaugural Novel" that I've been actively working on, but another novel that is very much on the way-back burner. And that's why I didn't want to share some of the spoilers with you, just in case that book ever actually does get written.

Cherry Ilyapa is a good replacement for Captain J.M. Colt. I had already, independently written Cherry as a "training captain" in the aforementioned sense: The Admiralty frequently sends her marginal first officers and entrusts Cherry to develop a nonbinding but influential assessment as to whether these officers should be entrusted with their own command or not. In fact, I think that's where I originally got the idea for the Star Trek movie to open with a fake-out that somebody else is the Captain instead of Colt.

It's quite gratifying how much of this set piece adapts with no difficulty at all into the Galaxy Federal world. The only things I really miss from Star Trek are the transporters, which Galaxy Federal doesn't have, and of course Colt herself. Though, I must say, Cherry is an excellent substitute for Colt if a substitute must be had. Also, and no spoilers, but the good thing about my plans for the Galaxy Federal franchise is that different novels aren't necessarily going to be published in chronological order. My Star Trek movie idea book can be set either before or after the events of the Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel, as needed.

In many ways, the Galaxy Federal world is a better fit for my story idea than the Star Trek world is. That probably shouldn't come as a surprise; it's only natural that "the kind of story I would want to tell" would fit more easily into "a fictional world that I created myself." Star Trek has some tropes and tonalities that don't really agree with me, whereas Galaxy Federal has things exactly the way I want them. I'm not really into the pulpy, action-oriented side of Star Trek. I'm not very impressed by Star Trek's usual lack of visual ambition (The Motion Picture being a major exception). And I don't like how incestuous the Star Trek universe has become, with a small number of fan-popular characters (e.g. Data), polities (e.g. the Borg), places (e.g. the Mirror Universe), organizations (e.g. Section 31), and events (e.g. the Battle of Wolf 359) becoming entangled more and more messily and gracelessly with subsequent canonical (and fanonical) productions as the years roll on. In Galaxy Federal I can have my preference of never doing this, and instead let new stories spread out into their own space freely rather than make constant callbacks and plot tie-ins to previous canon. A little callback is necessary for franchise coherence and desirable for aesthetic or narrative purposes, but Star Trek has gone way overboard ever since Star Trek: Voyager.

Anyway! My Star Trek movie / Galaxy Federal book would be another grand epic adventure in the vein of the Inaugural Novel, as opposed to some of the lower-spec concepts I have for other Galaxy Federal novels, and it's nice to have something big like that on the horizon, even if I'm not actively working on it.

The Roddenberry Archive and the Memory Wall

The whole reason I am writing this post in the first place is that yesterday I saw an amazing video.

Two years ago, I read an article that threw my brain for a major loop: I saw behind-the-scenes photos of J.M. Colt on the set of "The Cage," in uniform and all that...except that these photos were from the 2020s.

This really screwed with my grip on reality, in both a good and a bad way. "The Cage" was produced in the 1960s. What was this sorcery? Well, upon closer inspection here's what had happened:

For many years now, an organization called The Roddenberry Archive has existed to collect and preserve relics of the lifetime of work of Gene Roddenberry. The Archive is a project of some of the biggest creative names in Star Trek, including Michael and Denise Okuda, Doug Drexler, and others. You can read more about them on their About page.

As a part of their preservation efforts, they have sought to bring Roddenberry's work to life in various ways, including in the form of audiovisual "experiences" that, essentially, are like movie trailers that recreate the vibes of prior incarnations of Star Trek. That's what led, for example, to the recreation of J.M. Colt standing on the 1960s bridge of the Enterprise in the 2020s. They were recreating that environment, and they had just so happened to pick the character of Colt—of all people!—to use as their filming model. Partly this was because one of the people closely involved with bringing the project together is the actor and producer Mahé Thaissa, who bears a passable resemblance to J.M. Colt, especially with a wig and the uniform. It was convincing enough that I genuinely read her as Laurel Goodwin's J.M. Colt!

Recently, they've been at it again with an initiative called 765874. And again they are using Colt as their central character, now with added Spock. Yesterday, YouTube showed me this:

This is mind-blowing! That thumbnail you see above isn't from Star Trek: The Motion Picture. It's modern work; it's what the Roddenberry Archive is trying to do.

The video scans like a wordless movie trailer. It's very surreal, with the only live characters being Colt and Spock, interspersed with a variety of alien landscapes and a bunch of images connecting various events from Star Trek's history. Even the title of the experience, "765874 - Memory Wall" is deep lore. The Wall of Memories was a sequence planned for Star Trek: The Motion Picture that was cut in development and replaced with the famous "Spock Walk" scene (where Spock rides a thruster suit into the heart of Vejur and witnesses a visual record of Vejur's entire journey). It's a fitting title!

These little trailers—these "experiences"—are wonderful. Like I said before, they are extremely surreal to me. I cannot overstate this. They mess with my brain powerfully, in both good ways and bad. This kind of experience is magical for me. They're a little bit like eating faerie crack I guess, lol. The videos are unsettling, compelling, and thoroughly engrossing. And I prize this, because this experience is very hard to come by for me. Not much can make me question my grip on reality, let alone in an area that I'm passionate about like Star Trek (I don't even dare to hazard a guess as to how many hard disk sectors of my brain are dedicated to Star Trek lore).

These Roddenberry Archive experiences depict past Star Trek media that never existed and will never exist, with incredibly lifelike representations. And they feature as their starring character, of all the characters they could have possibly picked, the profoundly obscure character of J.M. Colt, who I just so happen to have a lifelong fixation with. But this Colt never speaks in these experiences, and never appears on screen in any given shot for more than a moment, and we never really know what she's doing. And all the individual shots are so short that you can never fully get your grip on them...sort of as if you can't look directly at them. It's all a mystery!

You can perhaps see why this is so incredibly trippy for me. My brain parses this stuff as real pieces of past Star Trek media that I somehow missed, giving them the quality of dreams. Yes, that's it. These things are like dreams to me! Except they're real. Except not quite.

It's kind of a delight that, after all these years, J.M. Colt is just randomly appearing in the real world in glimpses of period-accurate Star Trek productions, just like I had always imagined. Giving Star Trek: The Motion Picture new life in this way, when the actual franchise completely ignores it, and making J.M. Colt the face of that...just wow! It's a little slice of "What if?" brought to life in the best way! And, albeit obliquely, if I squint hard enough it's almost like I can see my own Star Trek movie concept brought to life.

I wish the people doing this work would talk to the suits and buy a license to make an actual Star Trek movie or a Netflix miniseries or something!

There are several more of these audiovisual experiences, including a very recent video celebrating the 30th anniversary of Star Trek: Generations (which was just a couple days ago) by showing Spock visiting Kirk's grave. You can find them on the Roddenberry Archive website or in this YouTube playlist. (There's a wonderful interview with William Shatner in the playlist that I also watched yesterday, where he talked about some things that I'd never heard him talk about before, and I've seen a lot of Shat interviews.) And here's a wonderful feature article on the website of their technical partners, OTOY, with a lot more information about the project.

But, in closing...what a strange treat! What a surreal delight. And what a cool opportunity to share my own Star Trek movie idea (or at least a small piece of it) for the first time.

[duckapus]

Horror Comedy AU where Ash Ketchum is an eldritch abomination spawned from an Unfathomable Void, but is still his usual self.

Basically, Delia was an Interpol Agent back in the day with luck just as strange as Ash's, and on her Last Job she got captured by a doomsday cult that was trying to summon a dark god equal to Arceus Itself and bring about the apocalypse. This doesn't work out, both because Delia's Aura awakens and messes with the ritual (I always prefer to think that Ash's weird ambiguous connection to Sir Aaron comes his mom's side even if in most universes she doesn't have a usable amount of Aura), and because the Void God they're trying to awaken helped Arceus create the world in the first place (and the two of Them kind of have a thing going on) so It wouldn't have helped them destroy it even if the ritual had worked.

Instead they only get a "small" fragment of Void Stuff that mixes with some of Delia's Aura to become a living mass of Darkness covered in writhing tendrils and glowing blue eyes that absorbs all the cultists, knocks out every Pokemon in the room, frees Delia, and shrinks down into the form of a human baby. Delia, being a Ketchum and a major character in a crack fic, promptly decides "my baby now" (to be fair she's not exactly wrong?) and leaves Interpol to reopen her late grandmother's old diner in Palette Town. She was planning to do that anyway even before ending up with a monster baby so it works out I guess.

Meanwhile, Giratina actually noticed the massive spike of Void that was Ash's birth and since the whole issue got resolved so quickly it takes a couple months for her to find where her new half sibling ended up (you read that right. She's the god of symmetry, Light and Dark are included in that, so Arceus and Void God both created her. Also I'm using she/her for Giratina because immortal genderless embodiments of universal concepts can use whatever pronouns they want), and when she does she offers to help him learn how to use his void powers...well, mostly. See, in this version of the Pokemon Universe not all Legendary Pokemon are gods and there are gods who aren't Legendaries, and the ones that are both tend to lean towards one or the other, so Giratina who's more Pokemon-leaning and only half-void functions very differently from Ash who isn't Pokemon at all and almost fully void, so there's some things she just can't help with.

Still, the fact that she's offering to help at all is a big relief for Delia who is doing great so far but would probably be in over her head raising what's essentially a Horror Movie Monster on her own, so Giratina makes semi-regular visits over the years both to help with powers and just to bond with her new little brother (and new mom because there is no way Delia Ketchum doesn't win her over). Also, absolutely no attempt is made to hide Ash's true nature both because I find it funny and because the Pokemon World is already weird enough that Palette Town having a baby demon just living there barely registers as noteworthy.

As far as Ash's childhood goes, it mostly follows the same beats as canon, though there are obviously some weird things that pop up. For one thing, one of his powers is that he can understand any language, including Pokemon. And, because they're sensitive to this sort of thing Pokemon can usually tell that he isn't human even without him using his more obvious powers, and that makes most wild Pokemon more receptive to him than usual.

Except birds. Birds really don't like him for some reason.

Also he turns out to have healing powers, which he finds out during that scene with Serena. Basically, he makes the cloth he ties her injury with out of some of the Void Stuff that makes up his true form, and by the time they get to Professor Oak both the cloth and the injury are gone. There are, however, side-effects, which Serena only finds out about after she moves to Kalos and Ash only finds out about years later when he saves Charmander. (I'll get to that later)

On to the first day of his Journey, things only go slightly more smoothly thanks to Ash and Pikachu being able to communicate properly, and they still get chased by every Spearow on Route 1 because all of them are trying to "Destroy the Void Spawn!" This means they still fall off the waterfall and get fished up by Misty, who gets the Full Horror Experience because after All That Shit Ash is worn out which makes him kind of Melty. And, well, Pikachu is injured, the Spearow are still coming, he can't maintain a coherent enough form to keep going on his own, and this is Season 1 Ash who can be kind of an impulsive jerk sometimes at what would normally be the bike stealing scene, so he kind of...possesses Misty and Books It.

And since this isn't a power he's ever used before and he's using it in a high-stress situation while injured, his control isn't the best, so she catches a glimpse of the Unknowable Truths of the Void, and that combined with her being there for the Biggest Thundershock Ever makes her a little...fanatical about Ash's whole Eldritch God Thing. They're still friends first and foremost and still develop something similar to their usual dynamic but the fanaticism is there, especially at the beginning. At least she's not worried about the bike this time?

Also when Ho-oh shows up he kind of visibly stumbles in midair because he was not expecting the Chosen One to be that! This is why we don't let the local Mew be the only one doing check-ins.

Anyway, Brock and Team Rocket are still their usual selves, apart from Team Rocket deciding to do research into how to fight demons so they'll actually stand a chance at stealing Pikachu so now they've got a Nacli (because salt) and a bit of an Exorcist Schtick going on.

The Charmander Incident goes a bit differently, because they just barely don't make it in time and Ash basically tells the universe NO and brings him back, which is how he finds out that his healing powers have side-effects because this time those effects are immediate. When Charmander's tail flame relights it's somehow black, he has what seems to be a new Ability that makes all his Fire-Type moves also do Ghost-Type damage, and as time goes on his scales darken until he has Shiny Charizard's color scheme. This goes further when he evolves, because he has some clear differences from a normal Charmeleon beyond just his colors, and he seems to now actually be part Ghost.

I also had some ideas for later on, like May being full of Ghosts because she's easy to get into but extremely hard to get out of or control, and Dawn being Akari who ended up as a Hisuian Zoroark and got back to the present the long way, but for now this is what I've got.

[elmundodeflor]

Levi and Hanji reunite one day, in the after-life...

Because softness is grazed to those who wait .

Waves crash against the shores, roll in a whisper that's as soft as the winds. Where is he?

He opens up his eyes. There's sand all around him, seeping through his clothes. It doesn't take long for him to recognize the widened coasts, golden and warm. The land where he had once been happy, free as the roaring of the seas.

But, how did he end up here? All he remembers was shutting his eyes close to sleep. Saying goodbye to Gabi and Falco, as he would on any other night.

Why aren't they here, then? They wouldn't let him wander off alone.

He stands, lets the breeze tug at his hair, hushed-down and tender. It seems, the sun shines with newfound sparkle. That the skies merge into one with the waters, and nothing can hurt him anymore.

Maybe, he thinks, it's that the ocean sings and there's only lullabies left to hear. That the air smells of sweet beginnings, and war is nothing but a distant memory, lit somewhere on his skin.

He walks, fast as his muscles allow him to. One. Two. Three. His legs move, swift and harmless as they've ever been. It feels, like he's learning how to do life again. That he's just a regular human who's been given a second chance at loving.

He guesses, it's why he doesn't appear surprised when he can take yet another step. There’re no more battles to be set. No more aching on his heart. And little there is of that once broken soldier.

Now, he can be a reckless spirit. Can paint himself all the colors of the sunset. He can choose a million different paths and hide in a million different planets.

He smiles. Something has bloomed from deep within, burns impatient at the idea of liberation. And, as he crouches down to touch the ground once more, he's certain: his time had come.

His soul has spread its wings, brighter than every sunrise.

"Levi!", a voice calls from the distance. And his heart stops, all of a sudden. Sinks at how his name sounds on their lips.

Hanji. Hanji Zoe. He would have known it was them, even at the ends of the world.

He runs. One. Two. Three. His breath falters, and his limbs are numb and the one thing that lingers is the trace of his footprints, fading on the shores. Perhaps, he promises, this time around he’ll leave everything behind. He'll seek the horizons and never look back. Here, where spring grows ever long, there's no room for tragedy. No place to mourn what once was.

"Hanji!"

He's going to see them again. After all these years. They are going to be together for good. Together at last.

They turn to him, and open up their arms, like he's been gone and this is a long-due call home. Like a lifetime's slipped between them and they wanna smash into him, ever so carefree.

"You came back for me...", they whisper, breathless. They're melded with the waters; their clothes melting into foam. A smile buzzes on their lips, broad as the seas below. And Levi thinks, sure enough, he'd trade until the last of his heartbeat to make this moment eternal. To stand the two of them, forever in their little scraps of heaven.

He nods, nuzzles in the comfort of their chest. Hanji's pulse is calm and warm and steady. A rhythmic melody that's turned to song. And he decides, maybe, he'll make a home out of its compass. Guard it a secret, forever safe within his fist.

Do they know, how many dreams he's ached just to hold them close? How many nights he's bled out their name?

"I had to...", he says, hushed against their skin. There's a tear that falls, followed by one and then another. He'd buried love more times than he'd seen it bloom. Had said goodbye with his tongue tied and his eyes wide-opened.

Still, this is his very first reunion. The sweetest of them all. The bare proof that there's a ray of illusion that parts through one's grief.

He steps back to look at Hanji. How their hair flows with the breeze, braided with golden and salt. The way their face glows with every certainty: wild, yet angelic all the same.

They have been the sunshine to his rain. His bindweed roots, in a universe that could only crumble into flames.

How could he not come back for them? It was the only wish his heart had flown for.

"I...", he cracks. His voice is shattered, a low rasp that blurs into the currents. Hanji wipes the sorrows away; their thumb catching off the drops that unravel, soft as the morning dew.

And he can see it clear. A realization that scars him deeper than the day they left:

They're crying, too.

"I've missed you, Levi.", they sob. They're so close, he can feel the pink of their blush. Count the pulse in every breath. "I've missed you so much."

He exhales, in and out. He had always been one to crave in silence. A lone spectator that yearned from the trenches. Truth was, fate had taken more than he could give. That he had to grow layers not to be left with just his soul to carry.

But none of it matters anymore.

Not when him and Hanji can have the skies all for themselves. That forever's a blank canvas, and they can go on adventures, like they're little kids again.

He leans in, tucks a strand of brown behind their ear. Words have never been his greatest virtue. And so, he guesses, he can finally start now, after all.

"I've missed you..."

Hanji smiles, cups his face before their lips meet. It’s a soft kiss. One that’s filled with a life-time of tenderness. Their mouths press, one over the other: warm and steady and fearless. And, it seems, years of repressed emotion come afloat. Like the perfume of a sunny day. Like the perching of a butterfly.

Levi hums into the kiss, tugs Hanji by the waist. Their hands are on his hair; his explore their back. He wants to paint and hug and discover each scrap that there’s to them. To run across the beach and jump to the moon; for he’s got happiness between his fingers, once. After all this hurting. After all this time.

He pulls away. His nose nudges against theirs, seeks constellations inside their irises. He has the feeling, that fortune shines on him, at last. That, maybe, everything will be just like before, when their eyes were filled with possibility and stars were new for them to catch.

Do they know, how many sunsets he’s prayed to? How many pieces had he been torn to, just to guard their memory?

He kisses them again and again, and again once more. Kisses them long and hard and tender, as if life could freeze in the traces of their touch. He kisses them sweet and sour, and broader than the skies. For all those other nights he couldn't kiss them while on Earth.

Hanji holds him dear, puts their arms around every crevice in his body. They can taste the salt in his tears, how they mingle with the flutter of their mouths. And they want to rock him to the waves, sail away from every scar.

"Have I ever told you...?", they whisper, like sugar on his lips. It's a promise that bares them whole, a confession meant just for him to savor. "How beautiful you are...?'

Levi stays still. He had been called many honors in the breathing world, but never this. It means more than he can claim to, really. That he's drawn in such delicate lights. That he's turned to a precious landscape, as if his vulnerable is something worth to keep.

Was Hanji aware, how long he'd waited for the words to slip? How bad he'd burnt, trapped in every aching fantasy?

He pulls them in again, squeezes so tight they might as well collapse. He can't remember when it was the last time someone had made him feel seen, unshielded of all that he is. The sleepless nights he'd yearned for anybody to discover the pretty to his broken.

He sighs. Hanji handles him with care. Like he's a fallen comet and they're scared they'll make him melt. It’s the brightest of comforts, really: how they stroke his cheeks, oh so gentle. How he can show his imperfect to someone who simply understands.

“Will you go again…?”, he asks. His voice falters, and he’s a kid all over. That same child who’d been once left to grow so quick.

Hanji shakes their head. Levi could be silly sometimes. But they love him so, even at that. After all, he had always been like this beneath the surface. The fissures on fine porcelain. The craters on the moon. The colors of the wind.

How could they not come back for him? It was the only wish their heart had ever starved for.

“I’m not going anywhere…”, they reassure, kissing the tears off his skin. It’s an oath that’s easy to make, this time around. That they can hold each other safe, where infinity meets the shores. That they can show themselves bare, play hide and seek.

Levi smiles, even through the rainfall. And he nods, throws himself into Hanji once more. After all, it had always been like this with them, too. In the end, they had always been one to keep their promises.

“We’ll be together, for a life-time and beyond.”

[pitchlag]

Rvb19 thoughts in no particular order

Yeah so. I still think s13 is The capping point for me and all that comes after is hypothetical/simulations or whatever.

First of all. No, you fucking don't get to separate Grif and Simmons.

Having the groups act hostile towards each other (or just the Reds against Caboose again) right after Chorus was a a big enough of a crime already. But those two are a package deal.

So what the fuck even happened in the SoC fight? Why would they let Tucker just walk out in the aftermath? I guess Carolina booked it to go after him bc why else would she leave Wash alone again, after he was supposedly injured?? Also Doc dying, wow rude. Donut and his VA are free to enjoy their break but where' was heeeeeeee where'd he goooooo he was barely mentioned at aaaalllllllll >:(

Sarge's death speech was surprisingly long and clear even though his lungs were probably pierced, cauterized or no.

On one hand I have a hard time seeing Sarge dying peacefully in a bed instead of in battle but he didn't have to stay at that doorway after they got back. He didn't have to die there. I'm glad he went back for Caboose though cuz that is one his boys (even if he's a dirty Blue).

Grif and Simmons talking about him at his grave was pretty good scene and so was the campfire reminiscing one but again, Sarge didn't have to die and I refuse a world where Grif and Simmons would go their separate ways like that. No wonder Gus and Geoff were shocked to find out this was the last season.

I got so excited the second I recognized Tex's knuckle crack ;o;

So close to a proper Tex and Caro combo, though I do get that they wouldn't work well together because of their history and different fighting styles :( Still, even if AI boosted, Tucker shouldn't be anywhere near good enough to go against both.

Also they got Kathleen back for Tex, John Erler for North and Samantha Ireland for CT??? Couldn't have seen that coming. Also Miles was aight doing Elijah Wood's voice but I guess a lot of it was helped by the voice mods.

Beta may have been "a failure" and Sigma is a bitch but his speech at her felt really off. She was still a major part of Alpha and the memories of Allison were the reason the rest of the pieces came to be in the first place. The Meta collective tried to catch her both in cases of the og Tex and Epsi-Tex, so Sigma full on rejecting her and the rest not reacting at all was really weird.

"This time, I'm not based on his memories, I'm based on theirs. And I always kicked their asses." A nice change of pace re: Beta as Alpha's/Allison's "failure". ....

Chex has embedded itself deep into my brain, so of course I Felt Things seeing them interact one last time fr fr. Tex finally got to go out with some agency of her own, yet we've come a full circle, they're back together again as Leonard and Allison. At least one good ending. Easily the best part of the movie.

Security working from home extremely funny, but the bit went on for too long and video calls w/ technical issues bc haha relatable feels like an overdone trope already

Felix being included as a part of the Meta was kinda weird? He never really interacted with the armor or the AI to warrant it I think.

Niner and Sheila :)

No Junior :(

So uh. Tucker got no closure re:Epsilon's death and just kinda. Walks it off after the possession is over? After Wash and Memory!Doc had that talk about the things an AI in your head does to you??

Speaking of Wash:

I know he's always been linked to memory and I actually like how they handled his brain damage in the Shisno Paradox, but I just have a very different image of how he feels about the PFL folks in the aftermath. To me Carolina always seemed more like the type to feel regret over how things went with PFL; she was kind of in a leadership position, had her tragic relationship with York and she felt taking down the Director was her duty.

Wash did arguably have a lot more positive ties to others than she did during the Project, but he was ready to burn it all down while in Recovery duty. I always thought he would have a lot harder time moving past his own trauma of getting left behind to get back to the good memories. Regrets about Doc I can kinda understand since they had time to work together while at Chorus after Wash's villain arc was over, but again, the man carries a grudge like it's a badge of honor. He didn't exactly get closure with his former teammates, aside from collecting the AI from their dead bodies after he'd been left alone following the fall of the MoI and after South shot him in the back. It's interesting how differently Shisno trilogy and S19 handled how Wash and Carolina feel about the whole thing, but I'm glad they stick together regardless. I love their relationship so much.

Wash staying silent when the recovery unit is broken..... Ngl I'm kinda obsessed with how he and Epsilon never got closure

I still don't have interest in checking out Zero....

Woulda been a lot better if they just let Trocadero do the music :( As predicted, the movie OST lacked the personality the series OST was built on and somehow including one track from them felt a bit of an insult. A reminder of what could've been. Also I didn't like the "oohh this part is super loud because movie" bits

Tragically obvious how rushed the production was and how they had a lot less people and resources to work with

If Shisno was a mixed bag of some high highs and a lot of lows, this was relatively steadily ok. Some dips, at least one peak. Not nearly as good as what precedes it but. ok. I can take it as one possibility

Sigh. The funky space marines are finally free. (I'm not, these fuckers seem to continue to fail evacuating my brain)

[sp1resong]

accidental charlie's inferno event [lyrics under the cut]

"Here lies Art Fisher, not gone soon enough! At 43, dead by… hah, who gives a fuck?"

He was an asshole for the ages, A dickhead devil-sent, Held a thousand petty grudges and his neighbors in contempt; You'd find him yelling at cashiers or in the lot smokin' cigarettes; And, like, that was him at his best!

Yeah, that Art Fisher, he was horrid through and through A nasty piece of work to all-- Well, except those two.

His beloved twin children, Lights of his shit-stained life, Only folks he cared about through all the world's strife… …they died in a car crash When he was 35

Total devastation! Rainin' on the streets, are you sure That they can't be saved? Of course, the answer was 'yes', And so old Arty professed A promise that'd he'd take to the grave:

"That bastard in the van, I'll show him what he's done to me, you see, you'd understand if ever you loved someone!

I'll hunt him down, And then, once he's found, I'll burn his family tree To the motherfucking ground!"

He tore through every ledger, that Art Fisher, Single-minded tunnel vision, Till he found that face he recognized, A name written off to the side, A man who Art knew would have to die!

But not quite yet, of course, The punishment must fit the crime, And the crime is the grief That the murder incites; So on that cold night Arty set his sights Not on the man, but his sister's life.

She worked at a gas station Manned the shop (which no one went in), When Art found her she was all alone From there it was simple, A shot in the head, It took until closing for her to be found dead.

Now Art'd had a taste, but he wasn't done yet, His pain could not be matched by a mere single death; So he broke into the guy's house while he was in his room mourning, Took a knife to his aging father's throat and was gone by morning!

But he found no satisfaction the act brought him matched his sorrow So, he decided, he'd come again tomorrow!

"That bastard in the van, he'll yet see what he's done to me, you see, he'll understand when he's left with no one!

I'll hunt them all down, And then, once they're found, I'll put every last one In the motherfucking ground!"

Brothers, wives, uncles, and mothers Pruning the family orchard Even the ones he wouldn't miss were easy prey for Arty Fisher!

But everything comes to an end, Art one day realized, When the only one left to face Was the man that he despised

He'd make this one count, he swore, And in glory, end his war He was almost done, just one more

So Arty went and built a bomb (well, several, but who's countin', eh?) To all the hells and absent gods, He promised this would be the one, to rid him of the burden that he'd carried for so long

Now, Arty, ever the dramatic, climbed into his living room Through the window, no surprise, oh, he just turned and said, "…oh, it's you."

So Art, he drew his gun, but still got no reaction, "Fight back!" he demanded, Damn it, needed some cathartic action But the man just said "Nah, I don't want to give you the satisfaction."

This was going nowhere, So Art finally took his shot Got the man dead in the heart, In moments he was on the floor

And looking down, he realized, He was finally done, The sinful struggle was over, The war he'd fought was won,

But now that he had Rid the world of everyone else, He was left with no one he could blame but himself

These were the thoughts that then ran through his mind But only for a moment, for you see, those bombs he planted, well… …they were still live.

Yeah, distracted as he was, Art wasn't watchin' his step, And well, this is his funeral, You can guess how that went.

That bastard in the van, he had long since been outdone But Arty, hateful in his grief for that which could not be undone;

Had hunted them all down, Had shot his every round, But in the end, no differently In the motherfucking ground!

[castlebyersafterdark]

If they were going to kill El, Hopper should have stayed dead.

Very good point! Although...

Byler is together, certainly, but now they are facing the world as adults.

Hmm, I'm not sure about this one Vin! I can just as easily see a lover's lake moment where they come together as I can a s5 that keeps us guessing about mike and will until the very end. But most engaging of all would be where they do sleep together/confess/kiss/anything romantic, but then Mike still pulls back or has doubts. Or even Will! Suddenly worried that Vecna will exploit their closeness to each other. They can stick physically together all while trying to keep their emotional guards up to protect each other (and likely failing, which would make for excellent tension).

Then the epilogue: Mike terrified of living without [the safety net of] El, and all she represents, as he proclaimed in his monologue. Those fears felt like the truest parts of his speech. His confessions about himself, not El, were the core of the monologue.

So I wonder if it could be that this leaked scene is where he perhaps doesnt even realise the depth of Will's devotion. Heck, he might not even know that two men can build a life together! It's just not done in Hawkins (or so he thinks) and certainly wouldn't have been taught in his family.

If they built the season emotionally and devastatingly, and if the writing was well done, I wouldn't be unhappy with Mike having his Realisation about a future with Will being worth fighting for in the very last moments of the series. Imagine him finally going to Will, who is steady and patient as always, doe-eyed and waiting, low expectations but the highest hopes when it comes to Mike. Mike goes to him and they finally understand each other fully.

It would be epic on the scale of Pierre and Natasha from War and Peace; it would be sweeping as any of the Great Romances. I mean, they mentioned Dr Zhivago so there's a little part of the duffers who appreciates a good epic romance with high stakes until the very end. It wouldnt be the season we have all hoped for exactly, but it still could be epic and emotional.

(And yes, I do agree that one of the Wheelers is in danger. Nancy would be a killer choice considering how the audience has come to see her as an invincible badass. I like the symmetry of her seeing her whole family dead and then it ends up being her. Gut-wrenching.)

I see this making a lot of sense and definitely is a worthy way to tell the story, but maybe there's this stubborn part of me that's weary about the delay to the very end for the absolute culmination and acceptance because there's a big part of me that appreciates stories that allow for something different than the big get together saved for that close to the end, preferring instead where the story gets to play a bit and show some of the after, where we get to have that relationship and then see it explore a bit before the story on screen is all over. But I mean, this is, I suppose still allowing for that? In a different way?

I just would find a confession right at the end so unsatisfying, where we don't get to experience much of them together. Maybe it's me, not the sake of the story, who personally can't handle it. Confession and acknowledgement and understanding of feelings between Will and Mike, their moment, the tension of now dealing with it as the bigger picture plot forces them back into the action. I do though, see a get together, then a draw back because of what they're facing, but then they need each other at the fullest to emotionally succeed in whatever form this final struggle/fight entails. I don't know. Maybe it seems cliche. But in your first paragraph there, I'm kinda in mostly agreement reading it back again. That all seems likely. That's accurate towards their emotional complexities I hope we'd get. Satisfying. Not melodrama, where some of the rest honestly to me, doesn't feel as satisfying?

If the triumph over all that happens, and then there's to be all that time between fall 1987 and spring 1989 and Mike/Will are still not in a place of understanding together, despite knowing their feelings for each other, I just don't know. It's almost too much of a frustrated ache to consider as I try to ponder what will happen. I get it, it's a show, where sometimes the literal is glossed over for a suspension of disbelief, but what would they have been doing being in each other's lives that whole time otherwise? I guess I can't really wrap my brain around the concept of all that occurring, confessions and even physical moments, and Mike still struggling to not be caught up with and shielding with El. I'd really hope they'd have resolved that before The Big Final Fight, not energy I'd want either of them to carry into that situation?

How would he and Will exist in each other’s orbits for all of senior year? That's I guess a big emotional hang up with these specific scenarios presented, even if maybe I am being too literal, it's more about the emotion, maybe it does make sense and I limit storytelling possibilities for those that genuinely are treating them with the agency of real people and lives lived. That giant year plus gap we won't see is too much of a hurdle to jump for some of that.

I'm really leaning towards moments with Mike here at this epilogue era not being so fixated on relationship, more over life path, grief, etc. That of reflection and uncertainty of everything else in his life, but the one thing he's been certain about for a while would be Will, though the future for them together is the big scary final monster to face. I don't know.

Both are worthy visions, my more obvious approach and this alternate read on possibility. It depends on what the show's gonna be, how it uses moments to build other moments. It's tough for me, I'll admit it's really tough to commit to a firm This Is What I Think Will Happen read, been my struggle for 2 years and will continue to struggle for all of the next.

Always enjoy a good brainstorm and engaging insight, I appreciate you!! 😁 A vast array of considerations and perspectives for the repertoire, forcing me beyond places I might simply consider safer to emotionally explore...

[project-sekai-facts]

thinking about it stresses me out and i can't explain it well but making the world link events take up an entire event slot instead of it running alongside a different event is such a horrible idea imo, especially if it takes this month's lim banner entirely. and i think it's impossible considering vbs's one is in january and there's the new years fes anyways? unless they make new years perm again like in 2021 but it's going to be so fucking annoying and predictable for any fan that's been waiting for a lim for a while, especially vsers because it basically confirms that the devs STILL aren't treating them like the actual characters and putting them in events with the ocs (let alone having to wait until AUGUST for more fucking lims, yea like we need another fucking one-year gap /s). its genuinely irritating for me if they end up deciding that and not making next event lim. plus it makes the next event from now only six days considering this gacha ends October 31st, and with the event gap, the event has to end November 5th or 6th. and this wl event lasts 12 days and no event has lasted either of those lengths in jp (not to mention the weird fucking chapter-by-chapter thing going on?). sorry for acting angry but i really am disappointed if this ends up being the case without any fucking warning it makes no sense!

yeah the WL event just feels like it needs some work. obviously this is the first one so there's gonna be some problems here and there but this feels like it's pretty messily put together, even for a first run. i understand it taking an event slot because otherwise you'd have to tier two separate events at the same time and that'd just be difficult, but just the sheer amount of time it takes up is too much. maybe shorten the chapters to 2 days from 3, 12 days is too long. it's just gonna be really draining and a pain in the ass to tier, plus it makes the event before it really short. like seriously, 7 days for the MMJ event? i mean the current event is only 8 but normally cheerful carnivals last about 10 because of the format. i mean MMJ wouldn't perform as well as a N25 banner anyway so maybe they're just throwing the 7 day event on them for testing purposes.

since VBS is directly after new year colofes+lims I'm guessing WL lims don't count as actual lims. maybe they don't have hairstyles, i mean they said about MR2 unlocking special cut-ins, so maybe they do that instead of hairstyles. i wonder if they'll be like a bday card where they have their own rarity or something because if the game is willing to run them directly after a fes banner they can't be all that rare? maybe they reappear on future WL events like how all fes cards are on every colofes banner.

i get the feeling that the WL event won't have a specific character focus. they didn't announce a song other than the 3rd anniversary campaign one, so unless they're deciding to count that as Kanade's 4th comm then it doesn't look like this has a specific focus. well, apparently each part of the event/story is focused on a different character so that makes sense I guess. also the 3rd anni campaign commissions are meant to release monthly, and these events are getting dragged out until well past when all unit will've gotten their comm.

i think a lot of adjustments are gonna have to be made to the event starting from the VBS one. like the whole thing feels messy right now. and maybe it's because they haven't really told us a whole lot about how it works still, but there's obvious problems from the get-go like the duration and the amount of gacha cards on top of the fact they're now rerunning 3 lim gachas at a time. how badly does this game want our money they earn way more than any other idol game on the market.

[artfulanimal]

Okay, finally going in depth for this freak.... Haha jk, it's just me throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing if this makes sense to anyone.

Okay, so we just gonna call her old W (I have no name to give to her) and new W. Old W is a scientist working under an evil organization and new W is a law student who... sucks.

Old W is a heartless bastard who killed people in the name of science... The subjects often ended up as mushy blood pubbles. Yucky!!

New W is just a girl in the world who's trying to pay her rent n shit. She's trying chat. Sure, she's done a few bad things such as STEAL GUM FROM A CONVENIENCE STORE, but she's never killed a person!!!

That is until old W decides "Hey, wouldn't it be cool and really swag if I were able to get another version of me here? Or like swap places! Wow, that's so cool of me. Boss is gonna love this... mayhaps love me?" and uhhh decides to try and swap consciousness with another version of herself.

I guess how this story starts in undercut? Kinda wanted to write abt this.

___________________________

New W was having a shitty day. She stepped in dogshit, flunked her test, and now has to deal with these KILLER headaches! Man, what else could go wrong for good ol- Oh my god that's a dead body.

She looks down at her hands, blood smeared where she once had them. Oh my fucking god. She's going to be sick. She clutches her stomach, blood now staining her shirt. Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuCK FUCK. She's not ready to go to jail. She never even passed law school! She doesn't even remember what happened! Scared tears trickle down her face, her hands trying to wipe them way but instead replacing them with velvet red.

She looks back down at her hands, muddied with the blood of some random person's. She then realizes... These aren't hers. Sure, they look like hers, but... they're more rough. More worn down. She look down at herself more. A black lab coat with an unfamiliar symbol. A white button down. A pair of black, dirty jeans. Two shoes that look way too expensive for her to even afford. This... isn't her. She's... DREAMING! Right?! Just a big dream. She could just GRAB the mush and SHOVE IT INTO HER MOUTH because this is all some WEIRD DREAM!! SHE... She...

Her breath quickens as she tastes the metallic flavor in her mouth. Her reflexes are far quicker than her thinking time so she swallows the lump of meat. Oh my god she just- Oh my fucking god. She- She didn't-

She tries to throw up, do anything to remove the taste of metal in her mouth, but her stomach's empty and she doesn't have the heart to let it out. Tears resurface from her eyes, dripping onto the floor. She's a monster- No. She didn't know- She didn't know about it. She just thought it was fake. A dream. This isn't... this... Oh god...

She whimpers softly as she looks at what she did and didn't do. This is so fucked. Everything about this is so fucked. She's never going to forget the taste. She's never going to be able to grow up. She's never going to be able to do anything. She's accidentally locked herself into a game ending route.

The door creaks open.

"Dr W, are you in here?"

...That's her last name, isn't it? So she is herself... just something different. A monster. A murderer. What should she do? Is this some multiverse thing?? Does she play the part??? Does she ask for help and possibly get called crazy or even in trouble with something she didn't even do?!?! She steadies her shaky breath, though it's reverent she's been crying.

"Dr?"

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god...

She calls back, staying still as if that'd make her invisible to the unknown guest.

"Yeah... Kind of busy. Did you... need something?"

She hopes that's how she is here. The voice hums.

"You seem nice today... Anyways, after your done with this... session... come up to the break room. Me and Janice got something to talk about."

OH FUCK- EXCUSE! MAKE AN EXCUSE!!!

"Oh, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm... working on something... super hightech..."

"Huh... 'Hightech' is a new one. Whatever, I'm sure your old ass is just trying to be hip with the kids... So, I'm guessing you're just not coming up at all like normal?"

Oh thank god it's normal for her not to go up to the break room... Ughh... she wants to go home and cry in her dad's arms already...

"Uhm.. yeah..."

"M'kayyyy..."

The door is shut, new W letting out a sigh of relief. Thank god... She stands up, washing her hands and exploring the place. She doesn't know how this happened, bit maybe she'll find out how to get back... maybe.

...God she hopes she does.

[wine-dark-seashells]

Over-analysing the books we saw referenced in Season Two (which I watched all in a go last night from 11pm to 4am and therefore am a little hazy on). If someone has already done this I bow to thee I just couldn't find you.

It's not reflected in my blog but one of my main special interests is Good Omens (and has been since I first read the book, a bit before season one was released) y'all I am ugly crying over the season two finale. If I've missed any books I'll just edit I guess I don't have access to the show anymore so I can't double-check anything. I KNOW Muriel was reading a book that wasn't The Crow Road but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.

The Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett (under I for In): On a surface level, it's a fantastic little nod to Mr Pratchett, the book that started the Discworld, and, to top it off, one of the best covers in existence. Funnily enough the same edition we always stocked when I worked in a bookshop but that's not important.

On a deeper level, think about the plot in bare-bones terms. Incredibly naïve tourist from an other-worldly place shows up in a grimy but incredibly magical city with a very odd box and spends his entire holiday with a wizard who is bad at magic. It ends with the tourist floating off into space to go see other worlds. Sounds familiar, right? I'm shaking this season like a small child with a maraca and I am chewing the plot until it is tasteless.

The Crow Road - Iain Banks (under I for It): Look, this one is so obviously significant that multiple people have done it already but I'm adding layers. Crowley gives it to Muriel in the last episode, I'm sobbing, but it's actually first referenced by Gabriel when he's "sorting". The tile is a fairly common metaphor for death, such as he's away the crow road. Other than the fact that it's literally part of Crowley's name, crows are a death omen. He gives it to Muriel for so many reasons and I don't know how it was intended originally but they're curious about humanity and The Crow Road contains one of the most fundamental parts of being human - asking too many questions.

Also, The Crow Road contains a lot of themes centred around death, mystery, and quite a bit of questioning of religion. It could be interpreted as a tell towards Crowley's real feelings about the finale. Metatron is death for him, as a demon, and he's just taken Aziraphale away to "chat". Remind me to actually write down my interpretation of the finale some time.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (under I for It): See, this one has actual plot relevance and therefore is explained in the show so I don't really think it needs an explanation. However, it is a neat little plot device to show how Aziraphale and Crowley have had very very different experiences with, and therefore perspectives on, Jane Austen herself. I think that's a pretty good way to show how they think and differ from each other in their shared experiences. Also, spitballing here, Crowley is Pride and Aziraphale is Prejudice. ("Of course you turned down Hell, they're the bad guys. Heaven is... good!")

A Tale of Two Cities, Book One - Charles Dickens (under I for It): Come on. This wouldn't need an explanation except, once again, chewing here.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." is the only bit Gabriel reads out loud, but the rest is along those lines (give it a read, it's fun). All one sentence. I don't really think it needs a huge amount of explanation, except that to me Dr Manette is Gabriel. Quite a bit of the first book is about his release from jail (and, to top it off, he was there because he reported the abuse perpetrated by members of the aristocracy and was put away under a lettre de cachet, something signed by the King and at least one of the King's ministers which could not be appealed). He's briefly taken in by a former servant (who goes on to be instrumental in the Storming of the Bastille) and the man's wife, who own a wine shop together. I am going insane.

No, I did NOT forget Good Omens (under I for It): History repeats itself over and over and over -

I need to go drink some water but Mr Gaiman sir how'd I do.