#in the end I also mirrored this because it felt nicer that way

[808len808]

Breaking point

!Pupppy Leon S. Kennedy x Gender Neutral Reader!

Summery: Your poor pup was to scared to tell you that he's going into heat.

Authers note: I don't know what this is, I wrote half of it while I was drunk and the rest I wrote in the span of a month so the first part of the story is a bit messy, but I promise it gets better. !Disclaimer: by puppy Leon I mean a hybrid, I do not support zoophilia!

!Warnings!: Nsfw themes, "Reader" can be all genders.

(Words: 4,405)

(sorry if it's cringe 😭)

The summer had ended, well at least the vacation. it was the most awesome vacation of Leon’s life! You were home every single day, he went where you went day in and day out. To the park, lake, and forest, but also at home. He got all the attention. But now you had to leave for work again for 5 days a week from 9 to 5 and he was stuck at home, waiting for his precious owner to come back.

He spent most of his time just lying down in spaces where your scent was strongest, couch, bedroom, those spots. Usually, he’d stay on the couch sleeping or thinking about you, how you would greet him with a smile when you came back, how you would pet that special spot between his ears, his tail already started wiggling at the thought of it. 

Fuck, this was too hard. He looked at the clock; only 3 more hours, but for him it felt like years, mostly because he couldn’t sleep anymore, and because he really had to go out for a walk. 

He got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to see if you had accidentally left any food for him to grab, but unfortunately nothing, he could try to stand up and grab something from inside the cabinets, but then he would feel bad for disobeying you, then he wouldn’t be a good boy.

Ever since the summer vacation, he felt the need to be around you so much stronger, he felt the need to be with you at all times, to receive praise, to be held, to be cradled, and most importantly to please you. 

His ears perked up, suddenly feeling something in his stomach, it was weird, he went over to your bedroom your scent only growing stronger just like the feeling on his stomach. When you first adopted him you didn’t let him into your bedroom at all hoping to make a clear line between owner and pet but along the summer that line started to fade. The few nights he would spend the night curled up against you on your bed were the best.

He felt incredibly proud even thinking back to one of those nights, just sleeping next to you, your fingers going through his hair until he fell asleep. 

A huff grasped through his nose whiffing up your scent, his nose going up in the air. A small shiver went down his spine as he continued sniffing, trying to pinpoint the strongest scent, it was a whole different scent that he smelled, it reminded him of sweat but different much nicer, much more attractive, like it was pulling him towards itself. 

He followed his nose eagerly, coming to the bathroom connected to your room, he stopped in his tracks. He’s never been in your bathroom. He stared at the scary door gulping, he still had plenty of time before you would arrive home, but he already felt bad contemplating breaking your rules, well you never specifically said he couldn’t go in there… the times he tried, you had told him to wait outside or wait in the living room because you were having “alone time” whatever that meant. 

But now he was alone, he took one glance behind him, checking if you hadn’t suddenly come back. Luckily you didn’t, so he went in gently opening the door. It was just a regular bathroom, shower, toilet, sink with a mirror, so where did the scent come from?

Leon’s eyes scanned the room until he spotted the hamper, placed in the corner. He quickly hopped his way over, looking to claim his price. He stuck his nose in the pile of clothes in the hamper, all yours and a few of his garments. 

He never used to wear clothes, it wasn’t normal for hybrids to do, but since he was more on the human side -the only dog thing about him being his tail, ears, and senses, having human parts, and being able to do human things, he could walk and talk but it was just a harder to do so, he preferred not to but ever since he got off the streets, and adopted you learned him to do so,  also made him wear clothes. He still preferred to be shirtless so he would crawl his way out of them every chance he got.-

anywayyyy back to the story.

His hands mixed in throwing things away until he found the source, one pair of underwear more specifically your underwear. He happily took it in his mouth without a single thought. Proud to have found what he was searching for he went back to his crate, taking the used garment in his hands as he laid on his soft mat sniffing it until he dared to lick. An intense feeling sent shocks through his body, he felt something beneath him twitch. He didn’t register what happened. A breathy huff escaped his lips, but it sounded more like a whine. Hot flashed his face, taking another lick just to test if it would happen again, it did. 

His belly tingled a small sense of excitement filled his mind, he continued to lap only making the ominous feeling between his legs grow nose buried in the piece of clothing, curled up in his bench. 

He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep when you came back, he excitedly sprung up, tail wagging behind as you turned the key into the lock greeted by Leon’s big blues you closed the door behind you before getting down to pet him, he eagerly leaned in your touch small puffs leaving his nose as you pet his head to the place between his ears back to under his soft jawline. 

“I missed you so much!” Leon excitedly told you almost panting. 

He looked so excited you felt bad stopping now, you walked over to the couch, Leon almost blocking your way by circling around your legs. “Come here,” you giggled as you invited Leon to the space next to you on the couch. You didn’t have to tell him twice, he immediately jumped to the spot landing half on you in an over-enthusiastic way, he pushed one hand on your thigh encouraging you to continue petting him, which you gladly did.

“I was sooo lonely, I missed you so much, it’s so boring without you! I’m so so happy you’re back!” Leon rapidly bladdered making you chuckle a bit, he was always so energetic which could be tiring but you didn’t mind right now, it was actually kind of nice to have someone who was always excited to see you. 

Minutes passed, and he was still pressed against you talking your ear off with things he had thought of today, your petting eventually slowed into soft strokes, Leon’s tail slowed down as he ran out of things to say a big content smile on his face his ears were back eyes closed almost purring into your touch. So relaxed. 

It was all your normal routine until you spotted something particular, your underwear, in Leon’s crate. Your brows furrowed looking back to the innocent puppy next to you. After a bit of thinking and mostly contemplating what to do about it you got up from the soft cushions. Leon perked up confused at the loss of touch. He saw you walk over to his crate crouching down to examine your piece of clothing like it was a crime scene. 

“Leon? What’s this?” you asked looking over your shoulders to meet his worried eyes. He knew that look, and immediately he was stressed, Oh no did he do something bad? He really didn’t want to be a bad boy! What did he do?!

Leon tilted his head in shame not wanting to respond. Not knowing what to say, scared he would make it worse.

“Come over here,” you ordered, your voice rather sweet than commanding, hoping to not worsen Leon’s nervousness any further He hopped off the couch and did a small walk of shame to the crate, tail tucked between his legs, next to where you were crouched he sat down, trying to prove that he was still a good boy. 

“Well?” you started to get impatient. The scared dog avoided your eyes, going back to the now wet underwear. “I-… I just missed your scent…” Leon pleaded, looking up to you trying to win you over with his sad puppy eyes. You narrowed your eyes thinking of a way to teach your pup that this wasn’t okay, but you just couldn’t find it in you to punish him, until he spoke up again. 

“I just- it tasted so…good” Leon explained further as if it would help him, it didn’t, in fact, it did the opposite.

The gears inside of your head finally spun. Your scent, he wanted all your attention, the way he pawed at you all the time, this wasn’t a pet owner situation, he was attracted to you. 

You gulped deeply staring into Leon’s eyes, nothing but innocence and worry, the poor thing probably didn’t even know what he was feeling. Your lips pressed together into a thin line, you needed to stop this before it got out of hand even when you felt bad doing it. 

You picked your undies up, moving to stand up. Leon stayed down his eyes following your every move. “Leon,” you started putting away your feelings, you needed to set boundaries, you needed to be responsible here. “You can’t pick up my clothes, those are mine, not yours.” He looked down at his hands, anxiety spreading over his face, but you weren’t done yet he needed to learn there were consequences to his actions.

“I also do not want you to go into my room or the bathroom while I’m not home.” He absently nodded seeming like he was at the brink of tears for being called out alone. “Now I know you hate this, but you need to learn that there’s consequences to your actions.” His head shot up, panic in his eyes as you strictly pierced his eyes with yours. “no-no-please,-I’ll be good-I’ll never do it again-please,” he tried but you didn’t budge you stood your ground while pointing at his cage, Leon already knew what was coming to a terrified look on his face -god he is so dramatic- as you pointed to his crate. 

“No-no-no!”He franticly shook his head. “please, I don’t wanna go!” He pawed at your ankles pleading. You stood your ground. “Leon,” you warned, he knew he was only making it worse by begging but he really, really didn’t want to go on the crate. “Please-I’m sorry- I’m really-sorry- please!” He looked at you from where he was sitting his bottom lip trembling as he felt his eyes start to water.

“I’m not going in! I can’t- you can’t make me!” He raised his voice, which made you glare down at him. Immediately his ears went down as he felt himself cripple under your glare. 

“Bad. Boy. Go in your cage.” Tears started to fall you felt guilty for hurting your precious pup, especially about making him cry, but you didn’t let it show, you stayed cold and emotionless. He let out a small whimper as he obliged, unable to deny your order, he looked back almost betrayed, like he hadn’t had this coming. 

“It’s just for the night,” you said as you closed the bench trapping Leon in the iron bars, a soft mat, and a blanket on the ground (because you are not a monster) his fingers clamped around the bars. You left, you had eaten out, so you didn’t have any more business in the living room. You made your way back to your bedroom, throwing the clothes Leon had spread across the bathroom back into the hamper, throwing away your underwear later. 

So there he was, he had been so excited to be around you all day, and he actually could do that right now, be curled up against you snuggling but no, instead he was trapped in this cage, this prison the restraint that kept him from going to you. He sighed feeling betrayed in some way. He didn’t understand what he had done wrong, of course, he knew that picking your clothes was wrong, but getting punished for it, that’s a bit too much.

You never punished Leon ever, so this was really strange. Leon was confused but mostly felt bad, so very bad for making you disappointed in him. He curled up on the crate hugging the blanket in sorrow pretending that it was you as the last lights went out. 

-

The morning came agonizingly slow for Leon, the lack of sleep making him hump up as you entered the room, he sat up tail already swooshing side to side regardless of his exhaustion. You walked in your pajamas to his bench Leon’s fingers grasping the metal begging for his release. 

You kneeled down to his level, right in front of him. “Are you going to be a good boy?” you asked tilting your head in a questioning way, he nodded as fast as possible. “Talk,” you demanded. “Yes, yes I’ll be good,” he begged, half shaking the bars, you complied unlocking his “prison”. 

He almost jumped onto you making you sit back down on the ground. “I’m so sorry- it will never happen again, I promise, I promise,” he repeated over and over again as he tried to get you to hug him, you let out a breath chuckle and complied, “It’s okay sweetheart.” You pet his head to which he smiled even more leaning in your touch as he always did. 

And there it was again, that funny feeling in his stomach. At first, he thought it was just hunger, but the more you pet him the more he wanted to stay closer to you, press against you. The arousal pooling in his stomach stayed even when you pulled away, even when you fed him, even when you went out for a walk, and even when you left for work again. 

Leon was left alone with that unfamiliar feeling in his stomach leaving him to do the figuring out, Leon lay on his signature place on the couch. You had bought him a book for him to read. A simple book, just to help Leon fit in with the human side of him, also forcing him to walk upright on his feet when in public, he found it hard and tiring but he wasn’t about to disappoint you, not after he already did. 

So maybe that was why he was picking up the book, and starting to try and read it. It was easy enough. As time passed the feeling in his stomach tightened, like his organs were tormenting him. It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, more like a neediness for something, only he didn’t know what. 

It came to the point where he couldn’t focus on the words anymore, his problem shadowed all his thoughts and made sure it was impossible for the poor pup to think straight. The only thing he noticed was that his pants felt small, smaller than usual, even when he had gotten used to them by now, they suddenly felt too small.

Leon frowned putting the book down to finally try and do something about his problem, he looked down to check if he could see anything from the outside. His face lit up as if he had just opened the previously used oven, and slapped the heat in his face, down his body making his skin tingle.

His hands followed the skin of his stomach expecting to find some kind of bruise or lump, but nothing only hot skin. His hand found its way to his pants to see if he could feel anything there. He let out an embarrassingly loud whine as he felt the bulge tenting his pants. His eyes dared to look down, only gasping at the sight, his hands weren’t betraying him, there really was a huge bulge. 

Contemplating what to do he experimentally cupped it with his hand through his pants, a whine even louder ran over his tongue, so hard that he swore he could hear it echoing through the walls.

But it felt good, it felt sensitive, but in a good way, in a very very good way, he has to feel it again. He slightly squeezed the bulge making his stomach turn in a way that felt so satisfying he couldn’t help but double over. 

Leon could feel his body trembling not used to these sensations at all, but he couldn’t stop, he started to create a small friction for himself, trying to satisfy this overwhelming need he suddenly felt. 

His hips involuntarily jerked up in his hand making his crotch throb as a whine left his mouth, his eyes closing in concentration trying to find whatever he needed, but it was hard to think, he felt so powerless, so desperate for something, but what was that something? 

Leon’s hand slightly sped up making him pant. His whole body felt on fire, so hot, he felt the need to take his suffocating clothes off but was too overwhelmed to do so. 

He kept going his legs trembling hands shaking sweat making everything stick together, but it still wasn’t enough, Leon didn’t understand, he never felt this, and frankly, he didn’t understand one bit of it. 

Eventually, his member felt like it was going numb. Leon desperately kept going even when it was starting to hurt, but to no avail, it just wasn’t enough. His hand stopped and so did the friction, his thoughts coming back to him together with a worried feeling, what even was that? What happened? He was left feeling guilty somehow like he did something shameful even when it felt so good. Was it bad? Was Leon doing something bad? 

He started to feel stressed, it feels bad now… and he really didn’t want to disobey you again especially when he was already put in the crate yesterday. Just then the lock turned, Leon’s ears perked up he hadn’t even smelled you, his arousal taking up all the scent in the room. 

Leon quickly jumped off the couch tail turning into a blur by how hard it was wagging. He was more excited than ever to see you. He whined a bit as he struggled to walk over to the door, the now painful bulge rubbing against his pants, he needed to get them off but that was not the priority right now. The priority was you.

You opened your front door, Leon’s face immediately greeting you, you always loved to come home to him, and his sweet smile, it grew only brighter as he saw you. (2 meninges 😧😏) 

“Hi! how’s your day?” Leon immediately spoke as you walked in hanging your coat up and sighing not noticing Leon’s state.

“It was fine” you shrugged putting away your shoes and patting Leon’s head. “How about you, have you been a good boy?” You said grinning as Leon grew red. “Mhm, I’ve been good all day,” Leon answered only it was a lie, a lie because he wasn’t a good boy. He did something new and it felt bad so so bad and he was scared to tell you. What if you’ll put him in his cage again? He’d rather lie than be imprisoned again. 

You walked over to the kitchen picking out food from the cabinets. “Yeah? What you do all day pup?” Leon followed you into the kitchen looking at the ingredients you put on the marble countertop. 

Leon thought his tail still rapidly swinging behind him. “I read like you told me to.” Leon smiled sheepishly at you ignoring the pain he was feeling downstairs. He could ignore it, he would ignore it for you. 

But eventually, you break, eventually, you burst, as any normal person does. A pup can’t hold something that big from you, and hide his pain…

His breaking point came at midnight. 

He was happily cuddled by you, he adored being small spoon. Until he woke up, drenched in sweat, panting, every piece of skin sticking to something. Leon groaned the world coming to him as he awoke his eyes and mouth dry. Waves of pain hit him from his crotch through his legs, a small whine escaped as he looked down, it was still the same, it was a wonder you hadn’t noticed yet. 

Leon’s whole body was in a state of fight or flight his senses heightened. He couldn’t take this anymore. He whined again as he stood up, legs trembling under his weight as he made it to the bathroom. He felt like throwing up. He struggled to grab a hold of the sink hoping for some stability but the cold on his sweaty hand only made him hiss. 

He was hot and cold at the same time, was it some kind of fiver? No this was different much different. Another wave of heat surged through Leon’s body his face red his lungs having trouble keeping up with his heavy breathing. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, his eyes caught glimpses down his body but none registered. With whines still leaving him he clawed at his clothes trying to wiggle his way out of them. The pants dropped to the tiles and so did his shirt everything was off but still he was as hot as one can be.

It was all too much and what was worse was that he didn’t even know what was going on. At this point Leon didn’t care if he got sent to his cage he just wanted the pain to stop nothing else mattered. 

He shook as he stumbled back into the bedroom. “Leon?” You asked just woken up as well, squinting your eyes to make out your pup’s features. His breath and his whimpers together with Leon not responding got you worried. “Leon, are you okay?”

“Please,” he whined collapsing next to you on the bed. “Please what? What’s going on?” Your voice continued to grow more and more worried. You turned and switched the light on, and there he was in full light his chest heaving up and down sweat dripping down his face, his ears flat on his head. His eyes closed tight his eyebrow furrowing into a painful look. 

With one glance down everything became clear. “Oh, baby,” you muttered softly. He was going in heat. “What’s wrong with me?” Leon choked out. “Nothing sweetheart, nothing at all,” you reassured brushing strands of hair that stuck to his face away. 

“I’m going to help you okay?” Leon nodded frantically in response tears brimming his eyes as tears slowly fell down his face, landing on the pillow, your sweet pup, he must be in so much pain for so long, poor thing was suffering in silence all this time and you hardly noticed. 

He was squirming waiting for you to do something, to do anything, anything to make the pounding in his head go away. His consciousness almost faded when you scratched behind his ears making his tail wag despite the pain he was in. It thumps against the white covers beneath him with it forming a small smile on your face.

“You’ll be fine sweetheart, I’ll take care of you,” you cooed softly multitasking as you moved your hand down his sticky body going gently over all his shapes and moles, going over the small trail of hair leading to the source of his problem. His hips jerked up a few times as you did. 

His cute little cock stood high and proud, pearly beads leaping down his length it was a beautiful sight. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve admired your pet for hours like this but this was a case with urgency and there was no time to spare.

Leon’s eyes shot open when you wrapped your hand around his base, a hand flying up to your shirt to take a handful of the soft fabric. “Wh-what?” He looked up at you with big eyes then back to the scene, blinking. Before he could do or say anything else you stroked up and down again. Leon quickly deflated, eyes rolling back as his head fell back into the pillow. Whines and whimpers fell from his mouth as you continued.

You started off slow so he could catch up with you twisting your wrists a few times and pulling utteral moans of pleasure from him. His plump lips kept parted eyes half-lidded going down and up with the movement of your hand and then to your own eyes. He strictly held on to your shirt as if his life depended on it his grip only growing stronger with every stroke of your hand. 

“Hmm-s’good-please-nhgh,” incoherent mumbles escaped his lips it was adorable. His pitch went up only higher and higher to a point that you almost couldn’t recognize the vulnerable voice of your pup. 

You sped up, his hips struggling to keep up with your pace, his eyelids scrunched together, you grabbed the hand holding your shirt and wrapped it in yours intertwining your hands while the other was cramping on Leon’s puppy dick. His tail was rapidly moving the sheets his ears perked up straight into the air. 

“Ah-wait-!” You didn’t react or wait instead you did the opposite only going faster. Leon let out a gut-wrenching moan his voice cracking into a whimper multiple times as he came white sputtered all over his stomach, continuing to drip down the white sheets as more continued to flow and coat your hand with sticky white ropes.

You slowly stopped, leaving his cock flat, Leon hesitantly opened one eye before the other a sit he was scared but he only saw your sweet smile. Before he could open his other eye you had your clean hand which was previously holding his, in Leon’s hair. “Good job Leon” you comfort his ears immediately twitching as you did. 

A cheeky smile was returned his cute bright eyes staring at you with excitement. “I did good?” He sat up slightly, the bed dipping in weight as he did. “Yeah, you did amazing sweetheart.” You cupped his cheek he sighed and closed his eyes, his body turning soft in your touch. 

[fruityindividual]

Hiiiiiii! I just finished the Mayors of Simpleton and I absolutely adored it!! I love your writing style and excessive use of parentheses/i. The internal commentary each character has (especially Teddy) just killed me! It was so fun and so heartbreaking and such a lovely ending!

I love Remus with a disability in au and your choice for him to be blind is so unique! You portrayed Remus’ interaction w the world so vividly and the ways that Sirius helped him see (purple feeling like winter snow and velvet??!!???). I’m curious what drew you toward that disability and what your reasearch was like going in? Do you have personal experience? Because it all felt so so authentic! (as someone with zero personal experience)

aw hi hello! wow u r the SWEETEST <3

(mkay rambling below the cut xx)

ugh i just had the best time writing tmos - teddy in particular.. luv it when teen characters r idiots..miss him sm my lil frizzythriftedloserboyprincess..

i also luv disabled rj lupin in a muggle au! think most of fandom collectively agrees that his werewolfication may mirror disability in the big bad boring real world, n that was v interesting 2 write abt ((:

yeah did know someone who was blind (: had 2 research the braille keyboard rj lupin uses at some point..wasnt sure which direction his hands would move across it.. never read any ff w a blind main character but wanted to (-:

rly wanted 2 write smth w rj lupin's disability being how he loves, cooks, remembers, fucks, worries, argues, apologises, parents, shops, etc..like how it can b inconvenient + lovely + frustrating + perhaps occasionally funny.... his socks r damp his heart is bed-shaped he isn't always brave. but it's just our rj lupin in his natural state, n he happens 2 b blind <3 the fandom whumpification of rj lupin is near n dear 2 me, but his socks would b soggy in tmos regardless of him being able 2 see the puddle lol

+ there's just smth abt sirius trying 2 make the big bad boring world a nicer place for rj lupin that just makes me want 2 squeeze smth.. yeah rly luved writing tmos

anyway....this is all ofc coming from a guy who's not disabled n just wrote whtevr they wanted 2 read etc..

u r soso sweet this made me smile saurrr big MUAH !!

[wolfish-trickster]

Unknown, Uni, Us

University AU

Choso x female!reader

3/?

Word count: 2,6K

Summary: after entering university and taking down your rose tinted glasses you saw how ugly your highschool friends' personalities really were. You even start to think you'll spend the rest of your university life all alone. Little did you know you caught the eye of a quiet goth guy with a reputation. Will your heart be ever able to trust someone, anyone, again?

Warnings: typos, angst, fluff, slowburn, slow beginings, slightly ooc

Taglist: @onebatch--twobatch @theirlgarfield

Next day rolled around faster than you expected. Thankfully today's classes aren't starting sooner than noon so you have enough time for yourself. And also to mentally prepare yourself for a certain someone.

After spending some time with Choso's actual friends you didn't see him as threatening as before, rumors about him be damned. He introduced you to his younger brother Yuji, told you about Yuji's twin Sukuna, and after seeing how much love he holds for both of them you quickly forgot about everything you heard about him from others. Almost.

His resting 'I'll kill you if you even sneeze in a way I don't like' face still causes shivers to run down your spine. And you've only known him for what, a day? You got to be careful.

After laying in your bed and thinking about the goth guy for about an hour you finally decided to get up and properly start the day. You locked yourself in the bathroom for nearly half an hour. It didn't bother anyone since both of your parents were in their jobs anyways. You didn't mind, you liked being alone. Or rather, were conditioned to like it. It's the only thing you've ever known.

You brushed your teeth, scrubbed your face with one of your mom's gels, you even attempted to style your hair. Stuff you usually didn't bother to do unless you were going outside among other peaople. This was just school. You saw people walk in ripped sweatpants on the regular, you yourself wasn't better, prioritizing comfort over looking pretty. So why were you standing infront of your wardrobe and for the first time in your life thought 'damn, I got nothing to wear'. Was this because you had someone you were hoping to see? Or hoping for him to see you?

You shook your head in an attempt to throw all of these unwanted thoughts about Choso out of your head. He's only being nice to you, nothing else. You can't get this attached to everyone who shows you common decency.

"Fuck it," you exclaimed and threw on your go to whenever you wanted to look nicer than usual: beige wide pants and fluffy striped white and blue sweater. It started to snow outside, that sweater will warm you up nicely in the freezing auditorium.

In the end it was a good deciosion not to style your hair. When you finally arrived at school your hair was not only damp from the melting snow but also blown to all directions. Next time you'll bring a hat as well and won't rely only on your jacket's hood.

There wasn't a single person infront of the auditorium. You arrived ridiculously early again. At least it gave you some time to groom yourself in the bathroom. As nasty as uni's toilets were they had mirrors. Using your fingers you combed your hair down and shook out the wetness as much as you could. Hopefully it'll dry up before anyone can see you.

Returning back to wait for the class yoh noticed a small group of people already standing there and chatting. Maybe they had a class prior to this one. You shrugged and sat down. You didn't know any of them. No need to socialize.

Before you could even pull out your sketchbook you felt someone sit down next to you. "Hey."

You jumped. Did you do something wrong? You looked up and saw Choso. His hair and clothes were completely dry. He must be part of that group of people standing afar. "Oh, hey," you smiled at him.

"Killing time again?" he tapped your empty pages.

You nodded. "I got here a little too early, so."

He hummed. "I guess you had nothing before this class, huh?"

"Yeah, do you belong to them?" you pointed behind him at the chattering group.

"Unfortunately."

"Unfortunately? Why?" you tilted your head. "They look okay."

"Half of them are going on my nerves and I hardly know the other half," he leaned his forearms on his thighs. "I don't know how I'll survive the next few years with them."

"Oh don't worry," you patted him on his bent back, "the group arrangements are changing every semester."

"Oh thank fuck," he threw his head back and finally smiled. Such a cute smile on such a scary looking face looks both uncanny and to die for at the same time. Such a shame you can't take a picture right now.

Suddenly he turned his head to you and you quickly pulled your hand from his back. "Maybe we'll be in the same group next semester?"

You chuckled but knew you didn't have that kind of luck. "Yeah, maybe."

Still softly smiling he fully leaned against the backrest. He really was cute for a goth. In the corner of your eye you saw the group pointing at you and him and whispering to eachother. You looked at them fully which made them form a circle showing you their backs, still whispering. Quickly before Choso could hear you asked him: "are you leaving for the Christmas?"

He opened his eye and looked at you. "No, why?"

You shrugged. "No reason, just wanted to know more about you."

"That's sweet," he remarked and sat up straighter, no longer leaning back. "I live here so I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh how nice, me too!" you turned your whole body to face him, "maybe we've met eachother before. Which elementary school did you attend? You didn't go to ky highschool, that's for sure," you thought outloud. How funny would it be if the two of you have played as children a long time ago.

"Oh I didn't grow up here," he corrected. "My parents lived on a completely opposite side of the state. I moved here after Yuji and Sukuna started attending highschool."

"Oh," you cringed at how stupidly mistaken you were. "What happened to your parents? You don't talk anymore?"

"They died."

You could die too, but from embarassment. "Oh, I'm so sorry," you covered your mouth, "I didn't mean to," you mumbled into your palms.

"Don't worry," he rubbed your shoulder reassuringly, "you didn't know. It's fine."

His touch was spreading warmth all over your body. Having a thick winter jacket on was no longer comfortable, you were practically melting underneath. Not in a good way. You unzipped it to cool down. Choso's eyes drifted down on your sweater. "That colour suits you."

"Really?" all the heat from your body traveled to your cheeks, "thanks, it's my favourite."

"I can see why," he smiled and unzipped his own coat to reveal a knitted black and purple sweater with some holes patched by safety pins here and there, "this is my favourite."

"Doesn't look very warming," you said and pinched it between your fingers. Whoever knitted it used needles way too big. Or was this a gothic trend?

Choso shrugged. "I don't get cold. Me, Gojo and Geto have been swimming in freezing waters for few years. Since then I forgot what being cold feels like."

"Cool," you said and Choso chuckled at your unintended pun. "I didn't mean it like that, "you jokingly punched his chest. It was rock hard. You gulped.

"Hey, it was cute."

The longer the two of you talked the more and more people arrived. Thankfully most of them ignored both of you, or intentionally avoided you. Either way you were happy. It gave you more time in this small bubble you created with him.

Soon enough your bubble moved from the couches to the auditorium. The two of you sat to the very front row. Ironically the only row the professor didn't really notice, despite how close to him it was. It gave you enough freedom to exchange small notes. Something you've always wanted to do with someone.

You talked about all sorts of things during the class, barely paying attention to it. You told him your plans for Christmas holidays, he told you about all sorts of mischief Sukuna always did while their parents were still alive, you even offered him to meet up and study for finals if he wanted.

I'll think about it, was his answer. Not an outright no. You could live with that.

Eventually the class ended. It passed by way sooner than any other class you were on. Usually the classes drag on and on and by the time they finally end you're extremely close to sleep. But this one flashed by like a lightning. It was a shame. You could've spend more time with him.

"By the way," he started as he wrapped his coat around him, "are you busy on New year's?"

You gave it at a thought. Your mom's colleague and your dad's brother and his family were invited. Both of them are giant jokers, meeting with either of them meant a lot of fun and laughter for everyone involved. They never met before and you were beyond excited for these legends to meet. But if Choso's suggesting what you assume he's suggesting... "My parents have something planned but I'm not really needed, why?"

"Gojo's planning a New year's party. Everyone you've met yesterday will be there, plus two more guys if Gojo persuades them. All of them gushed about you and wanted to spend more time together," he added.

His words made your heart flutter. His friends liked you? Is this what being wanted feels like? You couldn't stop the wide smile from blooming on your face. "I'll ask my parents about it."

"Great," he said and pulled out his phone, "can you write your number here? So we can keep in touch."

Embarassed you had to pull your own phone out. "Sorry, I don't have my number memorized," you apolgized as you found it in your contacts and typed it into Choso's phone, "no one asks me for it. Usually just my instagram..."

He hummed. "No worries, I'll find you there as well if that makes you more comfortable."

Both of you stood up and made your way to the exit. Your good mood got spoiled by a sight of your old highschool school mate. Stella was once again sitting at the back of the room. She spotted you and you wished you could teleport home. "Hey girl," she greeted and you plastered a smile on your face.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Just great, the semester is almost ending. Oh and Sasha is coming back for holidays. We can go somewhere like we used to!" she chattered happily.

That's the last thing you want though. "I'm sorry Stell," you interrupted, "but I'll be studying for finals."

"All holidays?" she asked looking you up and down suspiciously.

"Yeah, you know how long it takes me to learn stuff," you said sheepishly and resisted the urge to hide yourself in your jacket.

In the end she just shrugged nonchalantly and trailed outside. "You'll change your mind. See ya!"

"Bye," you said weakly and sighed. This meeting was the last thing you wanted.

Choso was still standing behind you, confused as all hell. He looked at you, million questions in his eyes.

"Later," you told him. He nodded and both of you walked out the school. You felt a little guilty. He told you about his dead parents and you can't even tell him about the subtle betrayals you recieved from your old friends through the years.

A group of familiar people were standing among the falling snow infront of the school. It was just Choso's older friends today though, his twin brothers and their classmate were missing.

He smiled and raised his arm to greet them. You pulled up your hood, both to shield yourself from the snowflakes and from their gazes.

"Hey you too," Gojo greeted. With his all white outfit and his white hair he looked like a snowflake himself. An overgrown one. With shades. Those were still a mystery for you. It wasn't even that sunny outside.

Choso chatted with them abyout whatever while you stood aside awkwardly. You had nothing to talk about or say to them. They were basically strangers to you. Slowly you tried to sneak away. Unfortunately someone noticed. The medical sophomore Shoko. "And where do you think you're going?"

"Oh, uhm," you stuttered, "home?"

"Let me guess," she puffed out a cloud of smoke away from your face, "to study?"

You nodded.

She smiled and threw the finished cigarette to the snow covered ground. "I used to be like you too. Always studying, not taking a break because I felt like I was falling behind."

"Exactly!"

"Yeah, exactly. Let me give you advice Y/N," she hugged you around the shoulders and lead you after the boys who already started walking, "your brain needs time to recharge. There are two ways your nervous system works," she held up two fingers. "Sympathetic, which deals with flight-or-fight, and parasympathetic, which deals with relaxation. If you push sympathetic one way too far you risk breaking your brain. You'll be plagued by anxiety, unwillingness to eat, insomnia," she counted down on her fingers.

"Don't scare the poor girl Shoko," Geto scolded her.

"I'm not! I'm just warning her to not end up like me. Do you remember how many sleepless nights I had after my first semester?"

"How could I forget? You were calling me and Gojo every night, as if we could knock you into unconsciousness."

"Well and as a good doctor I'm trying to protect a mental wellbeing of our new friend."

You smiled. They are already concidering you a part of them.

Gojo's white hair snapped from Choso to the two of you. "Hey maybe you shouldn't. If insomnia ever haunts Y/N she could just call up Choso, right?" he nudged his gothic friend who groaned.

"That's right," Shoko mused, "his sleeping schedual is already wrecked and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if it's you."

You blushed at their teasing. But also took Shoko's prior advice to the heart. You really do need a break.

It was only then you noticed you were walking up the hill instead of down to the tram station. "Sorry, but," you unwrapped Shoko's arm from around you and stepped back, "I should go."

"Didn't you hear what I just told you?" Shoko pouted. Even Choso looked a little saddened.

"I did! I'm gonna go home, make myself a cup of tea and relax. I won't even touch my notes, I swear."

Choso narrowed his eyes. It was evident he didn't believe you. "We're going to pick up Yuji, Sukuna and Nobara and go to our favourite bar. Wanna join?" he said instead.

You thought about it. Bar? The only thing people your age dk in bars is get extremely drunk and bitch about stuff they barely understand. All your bar trips ended in utter disappointment so far. But that was with old friends. These people were older, more mature. Even Choso looked few years older than you. Besides you will be taking highschoolers with you too. With that responsibility there won't be a room for getting sloshed.

Plus your fingers were freezing and your body started to tremble under all of your layers of clothing. "Okay, sounds fun."

[ratlesshonret]

Things I LOVED About Pocket Mirror ~ GoldenerTraum & Little Goody Two Shoes (as a long-time series fan)

AKA, the long-awaited positivity post.

This is a direct follow-up to my posts "The (few) Things I Didn't Like About Pocket Mirror ~ GoldenerTraum" and "My (few) Issues With Little Goody Two Shoes"

Those posts trended very negative because, well, lists of complaints are inherently negative. However, despite my (honestly, kinda nitpicky) complaints, I do want to show that I still adore these games. And thus, I will be giving my list of things I think GoldenerTraum and LGTS did right.

Well, to be fair, these games did most things right. But I'll pick the ones I think stand out the most.

This post contains spoilers, as always. Rant below the cut.

Part 1 - GoldenerTraum

-The new lore introduced in this game, alongside the entirely new ending, are just great. Really solid ways to expand the section of canon that Pocket Mirror focuses on without changing the game very much.

-I love the convenience factor of this game versus the original. Less clunky required menu openings, less instances of "what do I need to examine to progress," and just generally smoother gameplay.

-I can't do this without mentioning the graphics. Complete and utter upgrade in every way. The original always looked great, but now looking back on it, its definitely not as polished as the modern style.

-(I know this is a positivity post, but I do wanna say I prefer the original Lisette sprite. I love the new one as well, but I think the new "heavy frills and detailed wrinkles" artstyle, while it generally works for the period and wealth the game is set around, doesn't fit Lisette.)

-Back to positivity now, the higher resolution theaters are really good. I originally wished they'd be changed/reanimated, but that was a mistake on my end. After all, why mess with perfection?

-GoldenerTraum and the accompanying anime opening are amazing. Full stop. Best intro to maybe any game ever. Everblooming Wild Rose Coronation is also great. (Though if I were to be fully honest, I kinda wish it only played after the Dawn ending instead of every ending. But that's a nitpick.)

-The removal of the bloat in the prologue is very much appreciated. On replays, the dance hall area feels very drawn out and unimportant, and generally a slog to go through. While I still don't like replaying this section, it is MUCH more bearable with the excess meat chopped off. It always felt like filler, anyway.

-The CGs that were updated look much nicer. No elaboration on this one, that's where my thought ends.

-Actually, yes elaboration. This is about the CG of Lisette coming out of the mirror before her first chase. The redraw is so pretty. I love Lisette <3.

-Improved visibility in many dark areas makes me a very happy person. While it maybe does remove some of the tension and atmosphere, it makes the game more accessible for new players who now won't need to feel around in the dark for ten minutes to find the candle in the Sugary Supper area, or whatever.

-Henri sprite.

-Finally, and I want to loop back to the character sprites, I love how they give an option to return to the original sprites. I love when remakes/remasters have some kind of "nostalgia mode" so that the original versions of things aren't lost.

Part 2 - Little Goody Two Shoes

-Music is great. I still prefer Pocket Mirror's OST, but holy hell some of the tracks in this game get lodged in my brain sometimes.

-Art is fantastic. I love the CGs, so many of them are so detailed and pretty. I might set some of them as my computer backgrounds, that's how good they are.

-Speaking of, the sprites are really good. I love some of Elise and Rozenmarine's sprites, especially.

-Strange Boy finally getting a name is nice. Now I don't need to call him Strange Boy. (I will still call him Strange Boy.)

-godiknowthisissupposedtobeapositivitypostbutholyshitiwanttopuntthatchildmuffyintothegoddamnsunsobaditsunreal

-In general the environments are beautiful. One of the few ways this game is a straight step-up from Pocket Mirror. The tiny waterfall in the river looks so pretty, especially during the day. And that's just one example of an environmental piece that really stood out.

-I want to praise Thursday Witching Hour, or as I called it in my last post, "the only one that's better than bearable." It is a genuinely tense section, and scarier than anything in Pocket Mirror. It was the only thing in either game to really make me aware that this is a horror series.

-I do generally like the mechanics of hunger/money management, and the minigames are fun (except Kiss the Rat.) The intense effort that must've been put into the art and design of these short games you only play to make money was not lost on me.

-The characters are charming (exceptmuffy), about on par with Pocket Mirror's believe it or not. Rozenmarine is the only one I can speak heavily on, since her endings are the only routes I've done, but she's so cute and I love her. Freya also seems very great, which is why I have her route lined up to do next. Elise herself is also much different from how I assumed, but I love her as a protagonist.

-The sheer amount of lore this game introduces, from how Elise's deal with Strange Boy went down, to how the Pocket Mirror made it into Goldia's hands in the first place, is downright amazing for a lore nerd like myself.

-While this game didn't make me as emotional as Pocket Mirror does at any point (both of Lisette's endings still make me sob like a baby,) I did feel pretty empty inside after sacrificing Rozenmarine during the "canon" ending. And games that put me into a literal depressive episode after finishing are the ones I remember the most and love the most.

-The sheer amount of endings does give this game good replay value. Of course, that is undercut by... literally the dozen things I mentioned in my last post, but it does give me reason to stick it out.

-The fact that even the background characters have consistent personalities is nice. I love when games pay that close attention to detail. Though I will say that most of the ones without large-scale speaking sprites did kinda blend together into one person in my head, and in some cases they may as well have been one person. But on my next playthrough, I'll definitely take the time to pay attention to who says what lines, rather than just skimming the text itself.

-The dates are really cute, especially the associated scenes. You do not know the scream I let out when Rozenmarine finally dropped the L-bomb on Elise. That scene was adorable, despite being undercut by my constant (and later proven correct) dread of her dying painfully soon.

-Seriously, just the fact that you are playing as a lesbian is great. I can't think of many games, other than ones explicitly marketed as "yuri romance" or "lesbian dating sim" that have this kind of casual representation. It warms my heart a lot to see it not fall to the pitfalls of "has to be a visual novel or dating sim" or "only hinted-at representation."

-My final compliment for now, I adore Rozenmarine in general. I'm a very character-focused person, and I now have a new character to rotate and hyper-fixate on in my mind.

Part 3 - Outro

I love these games. A lot. I don't want to ever give the impression of "GoldenerTraum is a bad remake" or "LGTS isn't a good sequel" because those things aren't true. Despite my complaints, my opinions on these games are 90% positive.

All of this to say... I'm not falling out of love with this series. While the original Pocket Mirror holds a special place in my heart as "maybe the best thing Astral Shift has ever made," I still love their newest projects all the same. And nostalgia plays a big part in that place it has in my heart.

I love you, Pocket Mirror. And I love you, Little Goody Two Shoes.

[ilikerafayelwaytoomuch]

Lemuria Pottery- Chapter four

A/N: sorry its been a bit, I had my last big exam for my master's program and I was real stressed...

Saturday came quicker than I expected. I woke up early, definitely wanting to look my best for our date. I hadn’t gone on a date in…well a very long time. I was excited, but also nervous, though I had a feeling that would change when I saw Rafayel. The first problem I ran into that morning was I had no idea what we were going to do. Rafayel hadn’t shared any of his plans with me, or even given any hints as to what we could be doing. I didn’t want to make the mistake of wearing heels if we were going to be doing a lot of walking. Sure, I could send Rafayel a text and ask him what I should wear…but that felt awkward to do since we weren’t exactly a couple or anything, this is our first date after all. So after spending too long on finding an outfit that I thought suited me well, but also could work for multiple things, I finally settled on an outfit. Nothing too extravagant, but not too casual either. I could easily walk in my shoes, but they looked nice. Overall, I felt good. But because I had spent an abnormal amount of time choosing an outfit, it left me scrambling for everything else. I had just finished getting ready when there was a knock at my door. “Shit,” I cursed under my breath. I had planned on having something to eat before we left. I did a once-over in my mirror before answering the door. Rafayel stood wearing nice black trousers, a white shirt, a complimentary cardigan, and plenty of added jewelry, giving the look a more expensive feel. Rafayel usually wore nicer clothes than I expected from someone who teaches pottery and paints often, but he had definitely put a lot of care into his appearance for our date. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers- which made me smile as it seemed exactly like something he’d do- bring a girl flowers for your first date. “Hope you like them,” he nervously smiled, holding up the flowers. I nodded. 

“They’re gorgeous. Whoever picked them sure knew what they were doing,” I told him, inviting him in. 

“Well, an artist should know what colors and shapes go together,” he smiled. “Do you have, yes you do, where’s the vase you made?” He asked, stepping into my apartment. 

“Ah, in the kitchen, come on in. Is it okay if I eat something really quick? I took a bit too long getting ready.” I asked, leading him to the kitchen. 

“Of course, no need to be super full though if you know what I mean,” he answered, following. I grabbed the vase and handed it to Rafayel, impressed when he immediately began trimming the flower ends and placing them in the vase. I grabbed a protein bar, something quick, but would also make me feel less starved. “Ready to go?” he asked when I had finished, I nodded and we headed out of my apartment. It was easy spotting Rafayel’s car, it looked out of place in my apartment’s parking lot. The nice car sticking out like a sore thumb. We headed for it, making our way across the parking lot. I went to open the door, but was immediately stopped. “Hey! NO! What do you think you’re doing?!” Rafayel almost yelled, making me freeze with my hand on the door handle. My eyes widened in shock at his outburst. 

“What?” I muttered, confused. 

“I’m supposed to open that,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Is this like a ‘women don’t know how to properly open and close car door toxic masculinity’ thing or a ‘I’m trying to be nice’ thing?” I questioned. He tilted his head and made a face of disgust. 

“What are you talking about? I know you’re perfectly capable of opening and closing a door. Do you not know chivalry? I was trying to make a good impression by opening the door for you,” he frowned. 

“Ah,” I nodded, backed away, and offered the door to him. “My apologies, go on then.” He smiled and reached across to open the door for me, waiting until I was completely in to shut it. The drive to wherever we were going was nice. It was a nice day out and I had convinced Rafayel to open the windows and sunroof- ignoring his complaints of it messing up his hair. He eventually agreed, rolling them down and enjoying the breeze. He was also blasting music, and I mean blasting, as the two of us sang along. After 45 minutes of being in a car going to an unknown destination, I finally decided I had had enough, rolling up the windows and turning the music down. Rafayel looked over at me, confused. “Can you please tell me where we’re going now?” I asked. 

“Ha, as if. It’s a surprise,” he reminded me. 

“I know, but it's been forever! For all I know you could be kidnapping me or something,” I reasoned. He rolled his eyes. 

“If I was going to kidnap you I would have chosen a very interesting way of doing so.” 

“I mean, you are kinda weird, I don’t know…” I trailed off. He gasped, hurt by my words…or at least acting that way. 

“I am not weird, I’m unique,” he informed me. I laughed. 

“That is true. Can you at least tell me if we’re almost there?” 

“Fine,” he sighed. “If you could have waited 2 minutes more you would see that we are there now, or here now rather.” I tilted my head and looked out the window. We were pulling into what seemed like a dock, boats lined up on a shoreline. I didn’t even know we lived anywhere near a body of water. “Ah, so you’re going to murder me and throw me in some lake?” I asked seriously. 

“Precisely,” he laughed. He parked his car and I froze after unbuckling, turning to him. “Can I open the door to get out or am I going to be yelled at if I do that?” I asked him. 

“Yelled at. Stay put,” he pointed a finger at me before getting out. He came around and opened the door, letting me out and shutting the door behind me. Then went around to his trunk and pulled out a basket and bag. He began walking down the dock, refusing to let me help carry anything, until we arrived at a random boat. “This yours or something, rich boy?” I asked, joking. 

“Actually yeah. I told you I was obsessed with the sea. This clearly isn’t a sea, but it’s as close as I could get. It’s a good get away,” he answered, stepping onto it and unlocking the door to the cabin. 

“Oh,” I answered dumbly, following him. I was beginning to suspect that Rafayel had much more money than I originally thought. I mean he’s an artist teaching pottery classes, I didn’t think he’d be made of money. He’s incredible at his art, but many more so than I even thought. We got into the cabin of the boat, Rafayel putting the contents of the basket into the fridge before doing all the necessary steps I don’t know, then  taking a seat in front of the wheel. He invited me to sit next to him, and started up the boat, beginning to make our way out of the dock. The sun was much brighter when we left the dock, the sun reflecting off of the water straight into my eyes. Rafayel seemed to notice this and pulled out an extra pair of sunglasses he kept on the boat, offering them to me, which I happily accepted. The water was relatively smooth and I watched the boat part the waves as Rafayel moved us along, seeming to have a destination in mind. Or so I thought, until he suddenly slowed to a stop. “Wanna try?” he asked me. 

“What? Driving the boat?” I asked, unsure. He nodded. 

“Not every day you get to do that,” he reasoned. I nodded. 

“Okay, sure. You’re going to have to show me what to do though.” Then began my short lesson on how to drive the boat. I began very slowly, unsure of what I was doing and a bit worried about crashing Rafayel’s boat, even though there was not a soul in sight. But I eventually gained some confidence, pushing the boat to go as fast as it could and turning it in different directions. I was having a blast. Rafayel on the other hand, was turning pale. I hadn’t noticed at first, too caught up in the thrill of driving the boat, when I did notice I immediately brought the boat to a stop. “Are you okay?” I asked him, concerned. 

“I shouldn’t have let you drive. I think I’m gonna be sick,” he moaned. I watched wordlessly as he excused himself to the back of the boat, outside of the cabin. I didn’t need to even guess what was happening, being able to hear Rafayel. I felt terrible, though probably not as physically terrible as Rafayel. I opened the fridge and was relieved to find bottles of water, grabbing one for Rafayel. I figured he had to have some sort of medicine to help him as well, this is his boat after all. I had no luck in finding any, though I did find some liquid IV I put into the bottle, then made my way out of the cabin to Rafayel with the water. He was no longer bent over the side of the boat, instead sitting with his back against the wall, still looking pretty pale. “I’m sorry Rafayel, I didn’t even notice,” I apologized, handing him the water. 

“It’s okay. I’m more embarrassed that I’ve now released my guts into the water on our first date,” he admitted, taking the bottle and drinking from it. 

“Don’t be,” I assured him. “Though it is a bit strange you own a boat when you get seasick,” I thought aloud. “If you really did live in an underwater city in your past life, you must have died from something dumb like drowning,” I teased. He rolled his eyes, which surprisingly made me happy because it meant he was feeling better. 

“I don’t usually get seasick,” he stated. “Only when some maniac drives a boat I guess. I’m always fine when I drive it. I didn’t think you’d drive it like that.” 

“I really am sorry,” I muttered, looking down. 

“And I’m really fine, as long as you had fun.” 

“I honestly did,” I chuckled. 

“Good. Now let's pretend this never happened so I didn’t ruin my shot with you and go find somewhere where my guts aren’t floating around,” he stated, standing. I hid my laughter from him and helped him up, heading back into the cabin. Rafayel drove the boat from then on out, finding a spot that he deemed as “the spot”. He grabbed the food he had brought and we ate outside, watching the water move with the wind. It was really nice honestly. 

We spent a while outside, just talking, messing around and eating the food Rafayel brought. Eventually, it was time for us to begin heading back to the dock, both of us not really wanting to leave, but knowing we should if we wanted to be back by any sort of decent time. I helped clean up the mess we had made eating, while Rafayel went to start up the boat. When I walked into the cabin, I knew immediately that something was wrong, my smile dropping. “Is something wrong?” I asked him. He sighed. 

“It won’t start up,” he informed me. 

“Like at all?” 

“Like at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but I think it’s safe to say we’re not going anywhere in this,” he confirmed. 

“Fuck,” I said, not even thinking, making him laugh. 

“Fuck is right. Do you happen to have any cell service out here? I purposely chose to dock my boat here because I don’t, gives me an excuse to ignore Thomas,” he admitted. I pulled out my phone to check and frowned, shaking my head. He nodded. “Well, then we only have one option,” he stated, leaving the cabin with me following behind. He took his cardigan off, placing it on a chair, his jewelry following. “You’re not saying we have to swim back right? That’s impossible,” I questioned him. 

“You’re going to stay here,” he instructed. 

“Rafayel, you can not swim all the way back,” I stated. 

“Relax, I have a row boat for emergencies. I’ll take it and head back to the dock for some help,” he said, uncovering said row boat and placing it into the water. 

“Then I should come to, it’ll be faster with both of us rowing right?” I asked him. 

“I can’t ask you to do that. It’s safer here on the boat anyway.” 

“You don’t have to ask.” 

“Then I’m asking you to stay here and make sure no one steals the boat,” he decided. I frowned. 

“There’s no one here,” I reminded him. 

“You never know. Please (y/n), just stay here. I will be fine, this isn’t the first time this has happened. You being here will encourage me to be quicker and safer getting there and back anyway.” 

“Fine,” I agreed. He smiled, getting into the small row boat. 

“I’ll be back in half an hour, tops,” he told me. I nodded. 

“Please be careful,” I told him. He nodded and began rowing away towards the dock. When he was a bit away from the boat, I heard him begin to sing as he rowed, listening until I couldn’t hear him anymore. 

At first, the wait was incredibly boring. I sat on the edge of the boat, my feet in the water, basically twiddling my thumbs. That lasted the first 10 minutes. Then I decided to explore every inch of Rafayel’s boat. I found some cool things, I guess, but it was still boring. I tried to take a nap, but couldn’t fall asleep, too worried about Rafayel. I began to panic when the sun began to set. Rafayel definitely should have been back by now. I’m stranded on this boat with no way of getting off. I definitely couldn’t swim back, I’d drown, never making it. Has something happened to Rafayel? When would someone else even come out this way and find me? What if the wrong kind of people found me? My fear and anxiety led me to hang out inside the cabin, crouched down so no one could see me. The nearby animals began to sing, frogs croaking, crickets chirping and the occasional splash of a fish. I sat on the floor, trying to calm myself down. I’d be fine. Rafayel was okay, and on his way back. Definitely…

For some reason, I froze when I heard my name being called from Rafayel. I heard a boat get closer, and my nerves grew with it. When my brain registered that the voice belonged to Rafayel, I peeked my head up, spotting a worried Rafayel on the incoming boat. For some reason, he didn’t wait for the boat to get close enough, instead choosing to jump in the water and swim the distance, getting onto his boat. I helped him up, still a bit surprised. “Are you okay?” he immediately asked, concern written all over his face. I nodded and he hugged me, making me tense slightly. “I’m so sorry it took so long,” he apologized, and let go to look at my face. I shook my head. 

“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re okay, I was just worried,” I told him. He furrowed his brows, but nodded. The boat he arrived on got close enough to us and Rafayel got onto it first, reaching out a hand to help me onto it. He got back onto his boat, grabbing a bag of a few few things, including the purse I had forgotten and got back onto the other boat, yelling to the person I assumed was driving the boat. Rafayel found a blanket and quickly put it around my shoulders, bending down to once again ask if I was okay. I nodded. “I’m fine now, really. My head was just starting to get to me, it’s nothing. Happens all the time, I’m used to it. But you’re literally going to freeze if you don’t dry off. Why the hell did you jump ship and swim over?” I asked him, returning more to my normal self. 

“I was worried. You looked terrified and I hated that. I’m sorry,” he apologized. I lightly smacked his arm. 

“Obviously I was worried, it took you forever, I thought I was going to be stranded. But still, you didn’t need to get yourself soaked!” 

“I fell in on my way to the dock anyway,” he admitted, making me shake my head, but smile. “Peter here was slacking off not being in his office, so I had to commit a crime to get in and call him to get over here.” 

“You broke in?” I practically yelled. He shrugged. I took the blanket off of me and put it on Rafayel, glaring at him when he tried to refuse. “I’m serious, you’re going to get sick. It’s too cold for you to be soaking wet. What about the boat?” 

“Peter will come back in the morning with a few people and get it fixed and back to shore,” he explained. I nodded. The rest of the ride to the dock was quiet, Rafayel thanking, but also scolding Peter for helping. We got back into his car and I wasn’t surprised to see Rafayel immediately turn on the heat as high as it could go. 

When we got back to my apartment, I was exhausted and hungry, I was sure Rafayel was the same. He looked as if he could pass out at any moment, not to mention he was still shivering. He had paddled all the way back to the dock, fallen in water, swam, thrown up, and had probably been stressed on top of it all. I would be exhausted too. “I hope it wasn’t too bad of a first date,” Rafayel began when we got to my door. “I should have listened and just done something normal, but I wanted it to be special…some kind of special it actually was.” 

“Honestly, I think it would have had to have been much much much more disastrous for me to not want to see you again. It was interesting, but also kinda fun,” I chuckled. He looked up at me. 

“Really?” he asked. I nodded. 

“Really.” 

“Well, I should get going-” Rafayel began. 

“Absolutely not,” I stated, surprising him. “If you think I’m letting you leave here when you’re that tired, still soaking wet from the lake, and probably hungry, you’re hilarious. Come inside, no arguing,” I glared at him. He nodded, keeping his mouth shut and followed me in. I grabbed him a towel to dry off, and he accepted it, trying to tell me he’d just stay for some food and then go home to not impede on me. I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I agreed. He got comfortable on my couch, covered in the towel I had given him and practically every blanket I owned, while I went to my kitchen and made ramen. I was not surprised to find him fast asleep after I had made the ramen. So I did what I had to, leaving my ramen to cool so I could take care of Rafayel. I was not going to wake him up, knowing how physically and emotionally exhausted he had to be, but I could not let him sleep in wet clothes. He’d freeze and definitely get sick. But I also wasn’t too keen on invading his privacy like that. So I made the best plan I could. I unwrapped Rafayel from the towel and blankets he had on himself, laying him down on my couch with a spare pillow. Then grabbed a blanket and covered him, and took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s not weird at all. I’m just making sure he doesn’t get sick. I should be able to do this and not see anything embarrassing,” I told myself. I began with his shirt, the arguably easier part. He’d worn a white button down and it wasn’t exactly doing much for him. I unbuttoned his shirt, being careful not to wake him up. The blanket quickly slid off of his chest, though there wasn’t much I could do. I had to see the buttons to unbutton them. I tried my hardest not to stare at his chest…though honestly that proved to be difficult. The shirt had been teasing me all night in the car ride home, basically showing off his toned abs. I reminded myself that I had a reason for doing this and that was to make sure he didn’t get sick, but now came the more difficult part. His bottoms. I debated leaving underwear on, because come on, I don’t want to do that to him. But at the same time, leaving them on would be awful for him. My plan was dumb, but it had to be done. I grabbed the duct tape I had found in a closet and pulled off a strip, cutting it in half. I then secured the blanket to Rafayel’s shoulders, the duct tape holding the blanket to him. Satisfied that it wouldn’t move, I awkwardly reached through the blanket to find the top of his trousers, moving slowly and very, very, deliberately. I did not want to do anything AT ALL. Hopefully Rafayel would understand and trust that. In one go, when I was sure I had a hold of everything, I pulled successfully removing everything. I thanked god that the blanket didn’t move, making sure I saw absolutely nothing, and that he didn’t wake up when I was trying to take his pants off. Shaking the jitters from my body, I stood and gathered his clothes, putting them into my washing machine. 

I returned to my living room, Rafayel still fast asleep on my couch, snoring softly. I chuckled and grabbed a few more blankets, placing them on him to make sure he was warm…especially because he had nothing else on. I went into my kitchen afterwards and ate my ramen before going and getting ready for bed myself. When I was done, I moved Rafayel’s clothes into the dryer and left him a note, assuming I’d either be gone, asleep, or he wouldn’t want to face me in the morning. It would hopefully help with the shock of waking up on a stranger’s couch naked…maybe? 

“Rafayel, 

This is so weird, but probably weirder for you…but I did what I had to do!! After our date you completely passed out on my couch (yes, you snore). I didn't want to wake you up, but I also couldn't let you sleep in wet clothes and get sick…so that’s why you have nothing on. I swear to god I saw nothing! I duct taped that blanket to you so i wouldn’t see anything for both of our embarrassment's sake…the duct tape is probably going to be a bitch to get off sorry. Anyways if im gone or you don't want to see me, which i understand, your clothes are in the dryer, but im leaving a spare pair of clothes that may fit you, or at least cover you on the coffee table. There's food in the fridge, help yourself. Again, I swear I saw nothing, but I understand if you never want to see me again, though I hope that’s not the case. I really did enjoy our date, even with all the bumps in it. 

<3 (y/n)” 

After writing the note, I did as promised, finding some sweat pants that would at least be able to get around his waist, they probably would go to his calves if he was lucky, and grabbing the largest shirt I owned for him. Figuring there was nothing else I could do, and my own exhaustion catching up with me, I headed to my bedroom to sleep. 

I was surprised when I didn’t wake up to a screaming Rafayel. I woke up normally, heading out to my living room. I was a bit disappointed that Rafayel wasn’t there. I couldn’t blame him though, I wouldn’t want to stay either. I shook it off and went to prepare some breakfast so I could go run the errands I needed to do today. I was peacefully cutting up some green onions, listening to some music when my soul left my body at the sight of Rafayel, standing in my living room, staring at me, his aura dark and menacing. “What the hell?!” I yelled at him, almost throwing the knife. 

“Promise me you didn’t see my dick,” he calmly stated. 

“Excuse me?” I asked, unsure if I heard him correctly. 

“Promise me you didn’t see my dick,” he whined. I blinked, mouth agape. 

“Rafayel, I did not see your dick,” I told him, exasperated. He nodded and smiled, returning to his happy self and coming to join me in the kitchen. I stared at him in confusion. 

“The hell was that, I thought you left and didn’t want to see me again,” I asked him. He shook his head. 

“If you saw nothing then it’s okay. What’s for breakfast?” he asked, again as if it were normal. I then noticed that he was wearing the clothes I had given him, and I was correct. The sweatpants were snug around his waist, but stopped around mid calf on him, the shirt surprisingly fit him pretty normally. I laughed at the sight. He frowned. “What? You said you didn’t see anything!” he yelled. 

“Rafayel! I’m not laughing about your dick oh my god! I’m laughing at what you’re wearing and this whole situation!” I yelled through my laughter. 

“Right, you’d have no reason to laugh at my dick anyway, you’d probably be stunned. You’re the one that gave me this to wear!” he argued. 

“I kinda figured you’d put it on to run to the bathroom and get your own clothes,” I reasoned, ignoring his first comment. He shrugged. 

“They were still a little wet, so I restarted the machine. I’ll go when they’re done, but I’m starvingggg,” he whined. I shook my head at him and sighed, smiling. 

“Go grab a few more eggs then.”

[losingfayth]

i realized i haven't posted much of my writing-writing here, which is silly. this is a stub, but i thought it was good for being a stub.

casey stared at herself in the mirror. it’d become something of a nightly ritual for her recently, one fueled by her slowly improving self-image on the one hand and a growing need to reconnect with her body after particularly nasty bouts of depersonalization on the other. the former reason was the one that inspired her to begin adding increasingly large mirrors wherever she could manage in her statically small apartment, giving her plenty of options as to which mirror in which part of the apartment she wanted to stare at herself in. on days where she was feeling particularly good about herself, she would take a tour of all her mirrors to see all the ways she looked different in each of them yet still always her. for example, the full length on the door to her bedroom would show her the curated casualness of her outfit for the day, her makeup mirror the crispness of her eyeliner and the boldness of her lashes, and the bathroom mirror glowed with the nauseating porcelain of her skin under the truly excessive vanity lighting. there was one that was her favorite, though. a large, round mirror hung just above the kitchen table as that was the only place it would fit. it was nicer than the others, it being the only one she actually purchased for any non-trivial amount of money, and she justified it at the time by telling people that she was simply too tall for mirrors she already had and the size of this mirror would finally let her see herself completely. she is quite tall, though, and the mirror not quite that large, so this reasoning was false from the outset. still, casey felt that no other mirror in her life captured what this one did: who she really was. every time she looked in the mirror, she felt she saw herself. nothing skewed, distorted, not just a portion or a rendering. her.

it was this mirror she stared into now.

she was unkempt, frazzled hair and messy makeup, but for this part of the evening that was to be expected. on her better nights, she would take pride in how cute she thought she looked with frazzled hair and messy makeup! tonight, she couldn’t care less. it was all in the eyes tonight. beneath them sat dark black circles, above them lids hung heavy and low, and behind them...a mind vacant, a heart aching, and a soul concealed so far down she wondered if she had, in fact, lost it entirely. it seemed her face reflected her poor emotional state better than her mirror reflected her face. this thought occurred to her, which was enough to break her out of the trance she had been locked in for the past twenty minutes.

casey glanced at her phone. no new notifications. not that she was expecting any, seeing as how she’d turned off text notifications earlier that day. she navigated into her messaging app and checked each thread directly. no new messages, either. casey set her phone away. she knew from experience that it’s quite hard to ignore someone who doesn’t know they’re being ignored. this leads to a pattern of checking in on the ignored party to see if they realize they’re being ignored yet, which, of course, means they’re not actually being ignored. she also knew from experience that it was counterintuitive (and just plain stupid) to think that ignoring someone is an effective method of punishing them when the crime they committed was ignoring you. casey knew this because she’d done this before and it never worked to do much beyond let casey get more upset while her friends failed to be punished by her punishment instead of just talking to her friends directly.

sometimes casey stares at herself in the mirror and wonders why she’s single.

a quick flick turns her message notifications back on and ends the casey escapade. she looks back to the mirror. her eyes remain unchanged, the world exactly the same as it was both before and during her temporary silent treatment. she’s not foolish, of course. she knew this would be the case. she knew it would frustrate her during and she knew she would just feel worse after. she knew all that and did it anyway.

she sits down on her loveseat, perpetually coated in a matte of grey cat hair despite her efforts, and flips on the tv. she doesn’t think she has the focus to watch anything right now. she puts something on anyway. she was right.

still, it would take a few minutes for the motivation to hit her to turn it off and try something else. nothing felt real, though. nothing felt substantial. it’d been over a week since someone talked to her- meaningful talk, outside of pleasantries and work bullshit- and it was starting to get to her. feeling helpless, feeling worthless, feeling alone, these are all feelings that she managed to fight against with just a little social time every now and then.

[linnisims]

LOST IN PARADISE

Chapter 4: The trip

Sunday morning

The sea was calm and the sun was gradually rising on the horizon.

Kaylie's alarm clock rang. It was 6 o'clock. That's not normally the time she would have to get up. It was unusual, but she had already woken up several times during the night anyway. She was nervous. She was looking forward to the trip with Matthew, but also hoped that he would actually come. She couldn't remember the last time she had met up with someone without being in constant contact via her smartphone. Probably never before. Matthew was different. She found it difficult to read him, but that's exactly what attracted her to him. He seemed a little “old school” to her. But that's exactly what made him special, Kaylie thinks.

Kaylie got up with the first alarm clock.

She began to get ready.

She rummaged through her wardrobe to find something warmer, which Matthew advised her to do. She had left all her clothes in Bridgeport because she didn't think she would need them here.

In the end, she was able to create an outfit that was color-coordinated, suited the occasion and would keep her reasonably warm. She glanced at her watch, then in the mirror again. It was already 6:50am. Kaylie realized her heart was beating a little faster at the thought that Matthew should be there any minute.

She went downstairs and looked out of the window to see if Matthew was there yet. And there he was, right on time. It's almost as if Kaylie hadn't expected it any other way. She smiled. It was nice to see that he kept his word. It was even nicer for her to see him waiting for her outside her door.

She went out so that he wouldn't have to wait any longer. Secretly, she didn't want to wait any longer either, so that she could finally be in his presence again.

'Good morning,' he said as he watched her come down the stairs. He eyed her unobtrusively and kept to himself how cute he thought she was in her outfit. He smirked slightly at the floor.

'Good morning, Matthew,' she replied to him with audible good mood. She went down the last two steps a little faster, walked straight up to him and hugged him in greeting without giving it much thought this time. She enjoyed the moment when she felt him put his arms around her.

“Are you ready?” he asked to make sure.

'Yes, I can hardly wait'.

'Very good'.

''We've got good weather,'' Kaylie noted, but looked at Matthew expectantly, as if waiting for his confirmation.

''Perfect for fishing,'' he said.

As they made their way in the sailboat to the fishing spot Matthew had chosen, the sky was overcast with clouds. It was still cool, just as Matthew predicted. Kaylie admired the slightly reddish sky and the beautiful view.

“Where are we sailing to?” she asked curiously.

'To a bay further north of here. It's a great fishing spot. We've always been there,' he explained to her.

“We?” Kaylie asked cautiously.

Matthew hesitated for a moment and turned his gaze away, looking out over the vast ocean.

''My uncle and I''.

Kaylie didn't know if she should inquire further based on his reaction, but she was curious about him. Curious to know more about him. Thinking about it, she realized that she didn't even know how old he was. She only knew his name. It's strange that she didn't question it until now either. Everything is completely different with him. It's not always the same superficial conversations like the guys she met in Bridgeport.

'And… not so often now?'

'No. He died three years ago.'

Kaylie was visibly uncomfortable. She hadn't expected this answer. She realized how she herself shuddered.

'Sorry, Matthew. I…didn't mean to seem too nosy. I… I'm sorry…,' she said in a depressed voice with a dismayed look on her face.

'It's all right. You couldn't have known,'' Matthew seemed composed, but there was humility in his voice.

Kaylie had resolved to find out more from him that day. But she hadn't expected to put her foot in her mouth with her first question. It demotivated her for her plan. She also didn't want him to feel that she was asking him questions.

She looked at the sea with a very unpleasant feeling in the pit of her stomach as they moved shallowly along the water.

“He went into the Navy and never came back,” he began.

Kaylie raised her head and listened carefully. The fact that he started to talk about it of his own accord was a great relief to her in this situation. It meant a lot to her that he obviously trusted her.

'His name was José. He was like a father to me,'' he continued. It was the first time in years that he had spoken about it again and, above all, that he had spoken to anyone at all about it. But Kaylie wasn't just anyone to him. He wanted to try to trust again, and with Kaylie he was obviously starting to be able to…

''I don't know my parents, they never wanted to get to know me. I've lived alone in the old fisherman's house ever since. It used to belong to my uncle.''

“It means a lot to you, doesn't it?” she asked gently. She was touched by what he told her.

'It's getting a bit dilapidated and it's not a long-term solution, I guess,' Matthew evaded the question. ''Enough about me. So you moved to this island all by yourself?' he asked.

'Yes,' she said. 'My father thinks it's all crazy,' she quoted. 'We don't have a very good relationship.

'He's probably worried about you?'

'That's not it,' she replied. 'He'd just like me to live according to his ideas.'

“And your mother?” he asked.

'I don't know her. According to my dad, she left us when I was just three years old.''

'I'm sorry to hear that,' he said in a hushed voice. 'It's nice that you're doing what you feel like doing.'

“So far, I haven't regretted it either,” she said, smiling gently as she looked him straight in the eye.

Matthew smiled gently back. He understood what she was trying to say.

When they arrived at the bay, they docked. The sun was already fully risen. Matthew unloaded the fishing tackle and his rucksack from the boat and stowed everything on the shore. He pulled out the two folding chairs from behind a tree and positioned them on the shore with a perfect view of the ocean.

Matthew explained how to use the fishing rod and showed her the best way to cast it. Kaylie listened spellbound.

Matthew prepared the fishing rod for Kaylie. Still visibly inexperienced with the fishing rod - but highly motivated - Kaylie tried to follow Matthew's tips, cast out and landed a good cast in the water.

'Hey, that was good!,' said Matthew enthusiastically.

“Thank you,” Kaylie said proudly. She was clearly enjoying it. She enjoyed trying something completely new. She was interested in learning new things. She never thought she would be interested in fishing, but she seemed to be casually interested in his favorite activities.

Matthew noticed that Kaylie was obviously enjoying herself. It was nice for him to see that someone had taken a liking to his hobby and was clearly interested in it. He enjoyed his time with her and was impressed by her light-hearted manner, her enthusiasm and, above all, her smile.

After a while, Matthew placed his fishing rod in a rod stand that he had anchored in the ground with his uncle to prepare some new bait. Kaylie practiced a few casts in the meantime. Matthew watched with a little grin on his lips. After only a short time, it looked as if Kaylie wasn't doing it for the first time. He stood next to her.

“Admittedly, I didn't expect that…” he was embarrassed and stroked the back of his neck.

“That?” Kaylie followed up.

“Well, that a wo-” Kaylie interrupted him, “That a woman from the city could fish?” she continued. Kaylie laughed, she took it with humor. Then they both laughed.

'I didn't mean it like that,' he laughed. “But yes, I am surprised,” he added.

“Maybe it's the teacher?” Kaylie was obviously flirting with Matthew for the first time and she liked it. He liked it too, he started to grin. His eyes shone.

''In your case, you're clearly a natural,'' he said with a grin.

They both looked at each other a little sheepishly. There was silence.

Suddenly, Kaylie jerked forward a little. She was startled by the unexpected tug and then stopped.

“YES!” Matthew said enthusiastically.

“Oh, wow!” Kaylie nervously pulled in the string.

“Wait,” Matthew said calmly. He could tell that Kaylie was a little excited and was finding it a little difficult to coordinate everything at once.

Matthew stood behind her. “May I?” he asked carefully before gently touching her elbow and stabilizing and supporting her arm a little with his hand.

Kaylie felt her heart suddenly start to beat faster again at his touch. She was surprised by his touch. Another situation she hadn't expected from him. She grinned broadly. It was a nice feeling and she found it hard to concentrate on fishing.

“Try to stay calm and hold on,” he said in his calm, deep voice.

'Okay,' she replied more quietly.

“Now you can slowly pull in the line”. Kaylie followed his advice. “Don't forget to hold on,” he said quietly and gently corrected her arm. “Like this?” she wanted to make sure.

“Exactly”.

Kaylie slowly but deliberately took a step back. She wanted him to realize that she liked his closeness. Now she stood a little closer to him so that she could feel his upper body against her back.

At that moment, Matthew slowly released his hand from her arm, but remained standing. He wasn't sure for a moment whether she really meant to do this or whether she was just looking for more grip on the sandy ground.

Kaylie looked after his hand, a little disappointed, but then she noticed how his arms gently gained access to the fishing line from behind and he helped her pull in the line with his hand.

Kaylie's lips formed into a broad, happy smile and a feeling of happiness took hold of her. Matthew also enjoyed the moment and felt that he could finally allow closeness again after many years.

Together they easily managed to pull the fish to shore. Matthew let go of Kaylie because he wanted her to have the feeling of success alone.

'Hey, you did it!,' Matthew said enthusiastically.

Kaylie was delighted with her first catch and Matthew's encouragement. She was happier than she had been for a long time and it wasn't just because she had just succeeded, but because of him.

“What do I do now?” she asked him. ''What are you going to do?'' 'I...don't know,' she looked a little humbly at the fish.

“You don't want to do it, do you?” Matthew realized. ''I don't think I can do it,'' she replied. “OK, then…” Matthew carefully removed the fish from the hook and carefully threw it back into the sea.

Kaylie looked at him with shining eyes. He was so understanding and loving. She was glad that he had taken the decision off her hands. Matthew didn't expect Kaylie to kill the fish. She should have fun with it and not feel uncomfortable.

He smiled at her sympathetically and carefully took the fishing rod from her hand. 'We should take a little break,' he said gently.

'That sounds good,' she said, suddenly hugging Matthew. 'Thank you,' she said happily. Matthew was caught off guard by her sudden embrace.

Matthew hugged her gently. He felt drawn to her. He enjoyed the moment, he enjoyed her attention and her loving touch. It was as if Kaylie was sparking something completely new in him. Something that was lost in him years ago...

Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/linnisims/752989950504468480/lost-in-paradise-chapter-3-sunday-morning-four?source=share

[milkshakexx205]

Part 1 Of my Riddler Fic

Warnings for light stalking and mention of masturbation. you can find the rest on Ao3 under the username milkshakepng1245. the rest as i go along will have stalking, non con, torture, etc etc. mdni.

You were so tired. Finals week and your job had felt as if they were consuming your soul. Maybe they were. Your under eyes were as dark and purple as you thought humanly possible. But at least school was over. For the summer. Until August, you were free of the shackles of whatever godforsaken things your professors were to cook up. It was May 12th. It wasn’t too early, but early enough to spend some time lazing around before work. Doom scrolling was the option you decided on after feeding your cat, and then cuddling her for an hour. 

Then it was time for work. You worked at a middle-end cafe, near all the nicer clubs in Gotham. Your uniform was a short black skirt, and a black button up. You liked your uniform, and didn’t mind the extra tips the skirt got you. Blue light glasses with black frames and a claw clip were the accessories of the day, besides whatever jewelry you always wore. Checking your appearance in the mirror, you decide on some mascara. Nothing else, as you had never had the time to learn the more advanced makeup skills. But god, the girls who could do it were so gorgeous. Dragging yourself to work through the few blocks you had to walk was the worst. You were hardly athletic, and the humidity was not great. But you make it to work, just around 2 pm. Your shift went until 10 pm, which was usually when you got done with all your closing duties after you locked up at 9. It was a small enough cafe to where you could work alone for the last 2 hours.

First to the break room, put your stuff in your locker, phone in your back pocket of your skirt, and put on your apron you kept at work, because you would never remember to wear it if you brought it home. There was a counter, but usually people liked sitting and ordering that way unless it was to go. So you kind of juggled being a barista, a server, a baker, and some other things. It wasn’t terribly busy. It was Sunday, not many people were working or clubbing for that matter. You served a few people here and there, but you mostly cleaned and played the waiting game of your shift ending. At around 8 pm, an hour before close, you heard the bell ring. You walked out from the back, sighing. So close, but so far. You see a man of tall stature find himself a seat. You walked from behind the counter, smiling.

“Hi! What can I do you for today?” Whilst taking out your notepad and pen.

He kind of just… stared for a second. It was highly unnerving, even though it was normal. You were most likely still just high strung waiting on exam grades. He then cleared his throat, and in a surprisingly peaceful voice, made his order.

“I’ll do the cinnamon latte and the pumpkin pie, please.” He seemed a little antsy, glancing around as he spoke.

“Of course! Great choices by the way. Don’t know many other people who also like pumpkin pie outside of Fall.” You grin, writing it down and telling him you’ll be back with that.

There were two other people in the cafe. A couple, studying for finals it seemed. But other than that, it was just you and this brunette, tall, soft spoken man. He wore clear glasses, and had a rounder face. He was cute in the kind of the way you would find a big dog cute. He had these green eyes that were very curious. You had a way of observing people very quickly, and he was one of those people you could get a decent read on, but not too in depth. You hadn’t seen him before, meaning he had likely never been to the cafe. Maybe you worked too much. 

You walked back out with his order, placing it down and telling him if he needed anything else to let you know. He put on a very small smile, nodding. He pulled out some paper and a pen, doodling, or writing, you weren’t sure. You were too far away to tell because you’d circled to the couple, asking if they needed anything else. Waters to go was their answer. You got them, and then gave them their bill. They went to the same college as you, so you were acquainted, and gave them your discount when you weren’t going to use it. You heard them leave with the bell, and went to their table to collect the bill. Fourty minutes til close, and the doe eyed man was still here. No bother. You sort of hated being alone at work, and while a man you didn’t know might be worse, he seemed harmless enough. If only you knew. But you did not. He waved you over after you had put the money from the couple away. 

“What do you need?” You smiled. 

“Can I get a refill on the coffee…” It looked as though he was searching for a name tag, looking around your shoulder/chest area. The name tag printer had been broken when you started working, and they had never bothered to fix it. You said your name, and he smiled and repeated it. 

“Of course! Late night coffee cravings, huh? Would you like your bill after?”

“That would be good.”

You ran off to prepare the coffee and print out his bill. After you gave them to him, since it was 20 minutes until close, you began preparing everything to be shut off and cleaned. You heard the bell ring indicating he had left. You went out to collect the check, and lock the doors, as it was now 5 minutes til close. You picked up the receipt, noticing writing on it. The writing was a little messy, but nothing you couldn’t read. 

“What should run free, living off of nature, but trying to survive is always its demise? Small, smart, yet only appreciated as domesticated or dead.” A.. riddle? You were not smart enough for this. But nonetheless, you tucked it in your pocket, wanting to bring it home to try and solve it. You thought about it as you closed. It was obviously an animal, a pest of some sort…

The man who left the riddle for you was now walking back to his apartment. It was close to the cafe, but prior to that night, he had never been. He smiled thinking of you. He had seen you walk by his apartment while he looked at Gotham from his window. What he could see of Gotham, anyways. His apartment was nothing to write home about. 

But he saw you… and god, was there something about you. He knew he needed to know you. To have you. You obviously walked by that window at that time for a reason, and he knew it was for him. Not from you, for him, but a destiny of sorts. Like the one he was planning for Gotham as a whole. He was not the type to chase a woman. Hell, he had never even been with one. But, he would chase you. He got back into his apartment, Writing your name on the wall next to one of his other collages of paper smacked together (probably pertaining to the bat, Bruce Wayne, or some corrupt official), and put the picture he had taken of you through the window next to it. He also took the receipt you had touched and pinned it to the wall. You looked amazing, smelled amazing, and god were you so sickly sweet. It was part of your job, but he did not care. It was obviously meant for him. He began a stream, ranting about you and his plans to figure you out. After getting it out of his system, he and his followers began speaking on his other plans.

After closing, you walked home, pocket knife in hand. While it wasn’t the worst area in Gotham, you knew it was still dangerous. You didn’t want to take any risks. You got home safely, locking your door and then immediately throwing your clothes on the couch. No bra and a shirt it was, as well as no pants. You were exhausted, even though your shift was easy. You got in bed, and decided to watch some.. Content. Reaching into your bedside drawer, you pulled out your toy of choice, and simply watched the video and helped yourself. You mainly did it to help you sleep, as you weren’t very good at sleeping. After you were done, you went to the bathroom and cleaned up. You saw your clear pair of glasses you hadn’t been wearing, and thought about the man from earlier. Your riddle! You walked to your couch, and pulled the receipt out of your pocket. You got back in bed, and looked at it. What could the answer be? You wanted to know before you saw him next, if you ever did. You sat for 30 minutes wondering. Then you heard a familiar sound coming from outside. Squeaking.

The answer was a mouse. Only wanted trapped, domesticated, or dead. 

[pbandjesse]

Today was a good day. Honestly I was tired but I felt happy for most of it and in the morning that's what really matters.

I slept a lot better last night. And when I woke up James was right there smiling and that made me very happy. And I was just looking forward to a good day. The weather would be nicer and I got to be outside and it was just really positive. I don't really good. And while my mouse was a little small and cold he was alive and that was nice to see. He also was kind of dirty but I could not deal with that in the moment. That would be a later project.

Me and James left for work at the same time. And I was feeling a little catastrophizing when we were first leaving. Just stressed for no reason convinced that something was happening that everything was going wrong even though nothing was actually happening and everything was fine. So my brain was like well obviously everything is going to go wrong now because you think everything is which is not a healthy mindset but I'm doing my best. And it was a nice ride into work. I got to camp at 8:00 and went right to the art building.

there wasn't a ton that I had to do but I did want to make sure that I had all of the stuff ready for painting and for brush making with the group. It didn't love that we were doing brush making outside of my Native American program but that's what they asked for and now I'm going to have to order more feathers but it's whatever. They would really enjoy it so that was good. And I painted over the banner letters with white again and I think I made them look pretty good. I did not get another picture of it but it's okay. It still wasn't dry all the way anyway so that was a little annoying but not the end of the world.

I went down to the office and I had my breakfast. I had stopped at 7-Eleven on my way in because I just really wanted a donut. So I had that and worked on my knitting and answered some emails and waited for other people to come in. There wasn't much for me to do this morning.

So I worked on my knitting and I waited for people to come in. And then Sarah was in first. And it was her birthday I was very happy to see her. But I felt so bad she had lost her voice completely! So while we were supposed to have four rotation she could not lead one. So that was a whole drama that we would have to figure out but we move forward. And we were totally fine in the end even if mistakes in our rotations happened.

I would wait for everyone to come into the office and after we be briefed about the day. About how Elizabeth had to go to another dentist appointment and all of the other minutia of the day. I went over to the lodge to wait for the group.

I sat in there and worked on my knitting and gave, the leader from indigo, came in and he was like oh my God you are here. I was worried you were not going to be. Because I had not been in the office when he came in. And we had like this really lovely conversation about raising good humans and adults and not just a good children and how I may have been the only one that looked at their website and read their mission statement. And how he's very spiritual and he was wondering if I was too and I think he meant like woo woo spiritual kind of like Kim. And that's not a bad thing but I think sometimes I mirror people so strongly that they just assume that I believe the same things they do when I'm just having a conversation and mirroring their thing. But I don't disagree with a lot of things he was saying I'm just not like as I said, woo woo about it.

But he had some really lovely things to say about me and my teaching and my energy. And I love when people tell me I have good energy. And he just was really sweet and I was telling him that I just really appreciated their commitment to the bit but then I kind of realized that I think he thought that I was saying that he doesn't actually believe in all the stuff he's saying and I was like no no when I say the bit I just mean like the repetition. That you do it every time and it's expected and so like the kids can trust you and the kids love the bit. That's just the language that me and James use. And it was just a really nice conversation it made me feel really good. I love people that are like all in like that makes me really happy.

I did have to then mirror my coworkers who were all kind of like sleepy and like this is so goofy and I was like yeah totally like let's just do what we're going to do and do the best that we can with what we're being given. And neither one of those people that I portrayed in those moments were fake They were both as genuine as I can be just different energies. That makes me sound a little psychotic. But I'm not I am just good at making the people around me feel listen to. Because really what you want to listen to is yourself.

And for real the kids today were wonderful. They were third graders and they were so sweet. They thought that Camp was stinky which that was hilarious. But they seem to have the best time. When they came in we did a couple minutes like we're going to have safe bodies and then walked to the council ring and we did the same feet walking softly and eyes looking and all of the things from yesterday. But bigger and more and they even had a song about their school mascot which was hilarious and very exciting. And then it was time to go on our hikes.

I was not as anti-hegg today I think mostly cuz I had actually remember to switch into my real work shoes. And I took them in front of the council ring and up to stockade and then we ran around in there for a few minutes and then we went behind and down to frog hollow and then I took them up behind the Alaskans and then we went all the way up to the barn. I was hoping that the horses were there with but they weren't so we continued to walk since we had plenty of time and went all the way up to the field to see the horses. And lucky us they were all right at the van. And the kids were so sweet and so excited to feed the horses hay and pet them and talk to them. I kept having to remind them to have flat hands and to not scream. Mostly in excitement but a few times because they got licked. And I don't think they were prepared for that. But the teachers that I was with were lovely and I had lots of good conversation with them and I got to talk about Native American stuff and history and science and I was just having a great time. Just vamping. And the kids were a lot of fun even though they were running in front of me they were still really good and no one was being like naughty even though I would jokingly call in them that. I never call kids bad when they're actually being bad I just do it when it's funny. And these kids were fun and nice enough that I could actually just joke with them and that was great.

Because they touched the horses so much I took them directly to the lodge to wash their hands. And then I passed them off to their teacher so I could go set up my next program.

I did get to take a couple seconds to eat but mostly I had to pull my wagon across the field to the training post and set up some tables for paintbrush making and for painting itself. But we screw up a little bit. Papers making was supposed to be its own rotation but because Sarah lost her voice we decided to make it a full group presentation and then go to rotations from there. I wanted to do it inside like we do at Native American but Gabe was like no everything should be outside. Fine whatever I set it up at trading Post. I went in to get the group and I thought what was going to happen was we were going to stagger by like 1 minute. So that I can give the first group instructions and while they're making I'm explaining to the next group. So then I can get through all 60 kids. That is not what happened.

He sends the first group out. They were supposed to be with me as a full group for 15 minutes. But he only sent the first group out and not the other three. So the first group was with me for almost a half an hour but after the first 15 minutes the other groups came out and went to the other stations. So then everything was screwed up and so all groups missed one rotation and I felt so bad. Specifically for the kids that did not get to see the animals. They really wanted to see that's Nick. And there just wasn't time. Which sucks but it's okay. We do our best. And all the kids seem to have a blast doing what they did get to do. Brush making went okay but was exhausting. Sarah was literally the only reason we were able to do it. She can't speak but she was able to make sure the supplies were controlled and the few times we had to run up to arts and crafts to grab more paper or more materials we had each other to lean on. And it was a really good time. It was chaotic but it was good and we were able to accomplish what we set out to do and that felt nice.

Hope it was just not really nice day out. The weather was beautiful. I was in a good mood. My feet hurt but I was doing all right. And I had a good time helping the kids make their brushes and then they got to use the paint with them and I think I would do it a little different if I was to do it again but I still think it went really well. It was a lot of fun.

After the last rotation me and Sarah cleaned everything up and pushed the wagon across the field. We had to get Nick to help us because I was struggling getting over the roots with the wagon with all the boxes on top. But we got everything inside and me and Sarah would sit down and work on a list of things that we could reasonably accomplish over the next 2 days from the to-do list.

Tomorrow the plan is to go to the country club where they're having the golf event fundraiser and then after lunch me and Sarah will come back to camp to accomplish anything we can. So we sat together and went through the list and we picked out a lot of things but if nothing else is going on we can at least make a go at it.

We went back to the office where Alexi had brought cupcakes for Sarah and we sang to her which she said felt weird only because she's a twin and she doesn't remember ever getting song just to her before. Which was very sweet and a little sad. Because I really like her sister. She actually worked at first I think. But I'm glad we were able to celebrate her birthday and the cupcakes were really good.

We all just sat outside and talk for a while. Elizabeth asked us to go and clean off the tables in the lodge so we went to do that. We were surprised to see that the kids were still there. So I started spraying things down and Celia and Sarah would wipe everything off. Celia and me and Sarah would also sweep. I would stop sleeping at one point to help Gabe get water so he could go put out the fire. And told him that he should ask the office if they can show him how to use our Gator because he's carrying stuff all over Camp and he's going to get exhausted. And he did get exhausted because he also raped out the entire counseling because the charcoal from the fire he felt like was disrespectful to leave in one spot. Which is not wrong. But at least it got done. That's always important. And he is just very earnest and I appreciate that about him.

Once I was done me and Sarah want to go look for the group signs that had not gotten returned to the lodge. And eventually went inside the office and figured out what people's roles for tomorrow would be. Mostly like the beginning of the day was because for things that need to get picked up. And we were trying to figure out where the acrylic sign holders were but nobody knew so I wasn't with the keys up to the Alaskans to look in the basements.

I have never been in denali's basement before. So it was neat to see all the stuff that was down there. But I could not find the signs. I checked the Yukon, I checked Tlinget. But no luck. I even went back and checked a second time because Heather thought about a specific box. But no luck.

I did find some very cool boy scout pants that I took to wear because I thought they would be funny. All the grommets and hardware say boy scouts of America on them and I just think it was too good to pass up. Especially because they were in my size.

I went back to the office to return the key and double checked about where I'm supposed to go first thing in the morning. I'm going to pick up some signs before I go to the country club. And then I said goodbye to everybody and headed out of there.

I got home and James had just beat me. They would look so happy to see me and I was so happy to see them. They would make me a salad for dinner while I worked on my knitting. And that's basically what I did for the evening. I washed my little mouse. Who seems to be doing very well and he's all fluffy again. He also ate some food and I watched him do it so I know that it happened. And James would leave around 6:30 to go to a baseball game. We had sat on the couch and talked for a while. About our days and about stuff that we're going to be doing in the next couple weeks. About why James is not going to be going to any of the playoff games if the Orioles do get in. And then I would just work on my knitting.

I wanted to try to speed run a sweater. So I was able to both the front and the back panels today. And I stole the sleeves off of my original crocheted sweater from a few years ago that never worked out. And bye 9:00 p.m. I have a sweater. It's not perfect. I think I'm going to take it apart again tomorrow to try to shape the body a little bit better but really happy with this as a first go and proof of concept. I definitely want to try it again. But I'm excited. And it was fun just having like a goal that I was going to finish this in about 24 hours. Just laughed at me when I told her that I had done it because she always yells at me for being too productive. But she was being very productive to putting out together her whole bed tonight. She didn't have not being able to and had to call the company because it was made incorrectly and they're going to send someone out to build it for her so she wins in the end.

Now James just got home after they won the game. They are in a great mood and that makes me very happy. Sweetp just accidentally got locked out in the hallway. But he is inside now and we are all safe. James is going to take a shower and then we're going to go to sleep.

I'm excited for tomorrow because it's going to be a different day. Like an interesting day. And I hope that I have a lot of fun. I'm excited to go somewhere I haven't been before. Let's hope that holds up to expectations. Good night everybody. Until next time.

[antigonewinchester]

15x04 (part 2)

So then there’s the prominent Becky and Chuck sideplot. Here’s where I’m pulling my Chuck as ‘bad fan’ from, in how Becky and Chuck are contrasted. Becky, who previously represented the obsessive fan back in S5 & S7, has become a “good” fan: she has her own life, complete with husband and kids, while still also being in fandom, writing fic, and loving “Supernatural.” She can separate reality from fiction, and uses fandom as her own mode of healthy expression. In comparison to how she was portrayed before, wow is it a much nicer and fairer picture of fans & fandom!

BECKY Still what? [She hands CHUCK a drink.] CHUCK Uh, obsessed with my work. BECKY You mean my work. Look, what you were writing, it was real… like, really real. You sort of channelled Sam and Dean’s lives because you’re a prophet. CHUCK I… Yeah. Yes, I am. BECKY And, sure, I got a little obsessed, and it took me to a dark place. What I did to Sam… [shudders] So, after some pretty intensive counselling, I realized I wasn’t in love with the real Sam Winchester. I loved his character. So instead of reading your stories, I kept writing my own. CHUCK Your own… “Supernatural”? BECKY Where the guys didn’t have to hunt monsters all the time. They just sit around and do laundry and talk, you know? I mean, that’s what people like the most, anyway. CHUCK Well, I mean, people like monsters. BECKY Meh. Anyway, I got an online following, and it wasn’t paying the bills, so I started making these handcrafted miniatures. They took off, started turning a profit, and here I am. CHUCK Right. Right, right, right, right, right. But people like monsters though. They do. I mean, Leviathans are cool. What? They’re all teeth! ... BECKY B-But it’s so…dark. CHUCK But great, right? I can see it now… “Supernatural: The End”. And the cover is just a gravestone that says “Winchester”. The fans are gonna love it. Well? BECKY It’s awful! Horrible. It’s hopeless. [BECKY gets up from the chair and walks around the desk to CHUCK.] You can’t do this to the fans. What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam? CHUCK There, see? It’s making you feel something. That’s good, right? BECKY No!

Chuck, on the other hand, wants danger and tragedy and monsters who can’t be saved, writing something that’s focused solely on Sam & Dean (leaving out Cas explicitly, implicitly the other characters) out of it, what’s implied to be some horrible ending for both Sam & Dean that leaves Becky aghast. And then Chuck snaps away Becky’s husband and kids, and then Becky herself, in a move that mirrors the ending climax of the show, where Chuck snaps away all the universe except for Sam, Dean & Jack. (Plus the whole Michael & Lucifer bit.) Plus, Chuck wanting “his” story to end in conflict between Sam & Dean, and implied w/ Dean killing Sam, is how the end of 15x17 could’ve shaken out in Dean pulling a gun on Sam before Sam is able to talk him back to reality. (And yes, I will have more thoughts on 15x17 when I get there.)

DEAN Yeah. Yeah, we would. Look, man, I get it. I get it. We have lost way, way too much. And it’s hard not to feel like just… cashing out. I felt like that. After Chuck, back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back? You did. By sayin’ that what we do still matters. I mean, that’s why I wanted to drag us out here. That’s why I wanted to… to work a case, to save lives, you know? ‘Cause it is… it’s a… it’s crap job. We do the ugly thing so that people can live happy. SAM Yeah. Yeah. Lucky them. DEAN Yeah, lucky them. But it doesn’t change a thing. You know what I mean? We still do the job. But we don’t do it for us. We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to anybody who has ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what. And hey, man, like you said, now that Chuck’s gone, we’re finally on our own. We are finally free to… move on, you know? SAM I don’t know. Uh… I-I don’t know if I can move on. You know, I-I-I… I can’t forget about any of them. Dean, I still think about Jessica. I… I can’t just let that go. DEAN No, man, that’s not what I’m talking about. SAM I know, I know, I know. I’m sorry. I know. But… but what I’m saying is that I don’t feel free. What we’ve done, what we’ve lost, right now, that is what I’m feeling, and… and sometimes it’s… it’s like I-I-I can’t even breathe. But maybe tomorrow. You know, maybe I’ll… I’ll feel better in the morning. DEAN And what if you don’t? SAM I don’t know.

This final convo between Sam and Dean, then, feels like foreshadowing for how Sam is still able ‘carry on’ after Dean’s death in 15x20, as horrible as that loss is, before he’s reunited with him in Heaven, in contrast to how discouraged and distraught here in 15x04. And then how the ending in Heaven contrasts w/ Chuck’s sole focus on Sam & Dean, although obvs covid screwed things up a bit. The ending where Sam & Dean actually reunited w/ all their friends in Heaven is implied rather than explicitly shown in the finale we got, but the spirit of it is still there, even if there’s still the focus on Sam & Dean reuniting. Bobby’s there with Dean, he literally mentions Cas (w/ the implication that Jack rescued Cas from the Empty & they remade Heaven together), and the idea that Heaven is not longer closed off rooms of memories but everyone interacted with each other together. Everyone’s regained and reunited with the loved ones they’ve lost, even if they had to still face that loss & suffering on earth.

[stormyoceans]

weekly show reviews

BL SERIES

between us - ep. 12/12. gotta be honest, any coherent thoughts i might have had just flew out of the window because of waantul. i do think their resolution was incredibly rushed, but it's hard to complain about it when tul was there saying stuff like "can you be my future?" and "i want to be your safe zone". waan never stood a chance. and you know what else never stood a chance? my sanity as soon as waan started to take off tul's clothes, but let's just not go there. it was a nice final episode, where all the pairings got their little moment to shine, but im not sure i'd call it satisfying ;;;;;; overall i think the show as a whole would have benefited from being shorter (10 episodes would have been enough imho) and from taking out at least one side pairing. don't get me wrong, it's not a bad show, i still enjoyed it a lot, but at times it felt pretty repetitive and i think the resolution between win and team got dragged along way too much. the insanely high expectations that everyone had for the show also didn't really help it. still, winteam remains one of the best pairings i've seen in BLs and im definitely gonna miss them.

candy color paradox - ep. 06/08. this is probably the first japanese BL that isn't quite doing it for me and i can't really explain why. despite the terrible things he did, during this episode i found myself being more interested in inami kei and his secret love for his friend rather than in onoe and kaburagi's relationship, which.. isn't good ;;;;;; i still hope the last two episodes will make me come around tho!!

cutie pie 2 you - ep. 04/04. THEY GAVE JAYFOEI THE MOST PERFECT HALF INTERACTION THAT IM GONNA USE TO FUEL MY CLOWNERY FOREVER SO I REALLY COULDN'T BE MORE SATISFIED WITH THIS. like it happened with the show, i still found jay, foei, and nueasyn to be the most enjoyable part of it, but i actually ended up liking this special significantly more than the last couple of episodes of the main series, maybe because there was more communication between lian and kuea, so im glad it happened, even just so i could say goodbye to the show with nicer feelings towards it!!! i also really liked the way they shot the last scene, because it suddenly felt more like a korean BL rather than a thai one, but im not an expert on this, so i could just be talking out of my ass ;;;;;;

history 5: love in the future - ep. 05/10. somewhere in this there's a plot i really like (time travels are the kind of things i tend to enjoy, just like timeloops), so it makes me incredibly sad that i can't quite click with this show. dai zhe ni and hai yi are a bit too chaotic for my taste, and there are some old tropes that i was hoping we were moving away from. im enjoying the side pairing a bit more, mainly because i find wen hsen very charming and adorable when he drops his composure as soon as huai hen isn't there to see him, but they still suffer from some questionable writing, especially in this episode.

i will knock you - ep. 11/12. PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH. CAN'T BELIEVE EVEN MY FEEL GOOD SHOW COULDN'T ESCAPE THE 11 EPISODE CURSE. of course noey doesn't really mean what he said and im pretty sure someone (maybe thiw?) said something to him to make him change his mind in the short time it took thi to talk to his mom on the phone, but IT STILL HURTS AND THEY WERE SO MEAN TO HAVE THI DANCE ALONE IN THE END CREDITS. THEY BETTER GIVE THEM THEIR HAPPY ENDING OR I WILL RIOT. im willing to forgive some of their crimes only because they gave me a hint of side lesbians AND THAT'S EVERYTHING TO ME.

individual circumstances - ep. 03+04/08. im honestly not sure how i feel about this show ;;;;;; i do spend most of the time being frustrated and yelling JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER at my screen, though, so.. maybe that's not good ;;;;;; i do like the use of the novel as a way to mirror their story and give us a glimpse into woo jae's thoughts, however most of the time i find it hard to sympathize with him. the interactions between the manager and yeon woo in ep 4 were actually far more interesting and entertaining to me ;;;;;;;

my school president - ep. 08/12. THESE KIDS CONTINUE TO BE UTTERLY DELIGHTFUL TO WATCH AND GIVE ME INSANE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN. OH TINN'S FANTASIES, HOW I'VE MISSED YOU. however, as funny as they are, i appreciate how the real moments he shares with gun always end up being better and more significant for their relationship. they really have one of the healthiest dynamic i've ever seen and are probably gonna ruin me for any other pairing because now im just gonna expect the same kind of emotional maturity from all characters in existence. win and sound also have me by the throat, but then again i always enjoy a good enemies/rivals to friends to lovers when it's done right. sound also quickly climbed up my list of favorite characters and i think his friendship with gun is really cute. GUN AND HIS MOM MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME TEAR UP EVERY TIME. i just hope tinn's mom is gonna be as understanding when she's gonna find out that tinn lied to her (which, btw, i don't blame tinn for: if a kid doesn't feel comfortable and safe talking to their mom, then that's on the parent, not the child).

never let me go - ep. 07/10(?). palmnueng is making me rabid. benchopper is making me rabid. this entire show is making me rabid in ways i can't really explain. i do understand the criticisms about the plot, but i personally don't mind the island getaway: when set roles and social classes play a big part in a relationship dynamic, having the characters being placed somewhere where those kind of rules aren't as strong is a pretty common narrative device to put them on a more equal ground and bring them together. i also think they are gonna pay the consequences for it, because im pretty sure that sadly tanya is going to die, which will make nueng reject palm, so im willing to overlook some stuff if it means letting them have some temporary happiness. or maybe im just biased because i find every single dynamic in this show incredibly compelling ;;;;;;; im pretty sure the final kiss is gonna enter my list of favorites of the year because it was SO GOOD and i absolutely loved the parallels with their first one.

the new employee - ep. 06/07(?). GROWN ASS MEN BEING CUTE AND IN LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE SUCH A WEAKNESS FOR ME. "do you want to see my cat?" is also quite possibly the best pick up line i've ever heard. im very glad it didn't turn out to be an euphemism ;;;;;; something tells me that the reason seung hyun wasn't hired is probably linked to what's making jong chan looking kinda worried when he's at work, so i wonder how they're gonna deal with it. viki is listing only 7 episodes instead of the 8 on mdl, which means the next one is gonna be the last and im not quite ready to say goodbye to them.

GL SERIES

gap - ep. 10/12. the final boss made her move so IT'S TIME TO KILL AN OLD LADY. in an unexpected turn of the events, nop has also become the most sensible character in the show. who would have thought. i do wish mon and sam would stop defaulting on running away and getting jealous as soon as an issue arises, but im glad they actually managed to communicate this time around. and i do think they got married (however symbolical it may be) a bit too soon, if i have to be honest, but im also fully aware that there are a lot of things im willing to overlook for their sake. at 49 minutes length, this was also the shortest episode of the series up until now, so it's making me wonder if it's because they cut a lot of teeyuki scenes. im still trying to understand why they even decided to cut them out tbh, but at least we got cher and risa.

OTHER SERIES

dirty laundry - ep. 03+04/06. i admit i liked the first two episodes a bit more, but the show is still insanely funny while also having a solid plot: the mystery of who took the briefcase is well done and pretty entertaining imho. the entire cast is also doing a fantastic job, but i have to admit film in particular keeps surprising me with each episode. maybe it's because the only roles i saw her in before this were eugene in not me and earn in 2gether, but i didn't expect her to be so insanely good at comedy. i love to watch her play as neon and im starting to like her and night together a lot!!!

the warp effect - ep. 07/12. i was expecting what happened to kat and yet it still was incredibly distressing to watch. i do ship her and jean quite a lot, but honestly i just hope she's gonna be okay and that they won't make her change her mind about relationships by the end of the show, because women have every right to just have fun and stay single if that's what they want. i'd actually be okay with jean ending up with tony (if he doesn't turn out to be an asshole too), but sadly i don't have much hope for it. jan and silvy have great chemistry and are doing an amazing job as nim and molly, and the same goes for fluke and thor as army and joe. im not sure if they're going down the asexual joe route, or the joe being side route, but either way it makes sense for him to not tell army about it since army seems to consider penetrative sex as more 'serious'. after what happened it's understandable that he would try to protect himself and his heart again, so i can't wait for army to surprise him (and us) positively on this!!!! a huge shout out to singh and ciize as well, they were AMAZING in that last scene, though i admit it was pretty frustrating to watch ew walking straight into disaster when he 1) knew what he was risking and that he was in the wrong, and 2) could have just talked!!!!! to liu!!!!! IM SERIOUS PLEASE JUST TALK TO YOUR PARTNER MAYBE IT WON'T SOLVE STUFF AND MAYBE YOU'LL BOTH DECIDE YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITH OTHER PEOPLE BUT YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE. also there's something shady about liu's boss and i don't like it one bit.

[cepheusgalaxy]

I found this post like 2 hours ago and I think it's really fun so here I go.

❤ - umm... I am genderfluid and south-american, and in my language there aren't many neopronouns or neutral pronouns... in portuguese (my monther-tongue) my pronouns are really fluid, but in english i prefer to use ne/ir/it/they/he/she

🌹 - I'm asexual and neptunicromantic, and probably greyromantic too, I'm not really sure

🍁 - Around 11yo, I guess, when I first though I was a lesbian

🔥 - I guess I feel... freeer. Since I discovered myself as nonbinary, trans and gnc I feel like I can present and be however I want. It is nicer

🧡 - Well, when I first though I was a lesbian, it didn't changed much (I did not even have a style back then), but in the past few months, when I started questioning my gender and started calling myself genderfluid, I haven't got much new stuff yet, but there are so many possibilities, and I wanna try androgynous stuff!

🌼 - Many. So fucking many. First, gynesexual, before lesbian. Because then, "lesbian" didn't felt right, "a girl who loves girls". So I picked gynesexual, which is more like "any person who loves girls and feminine people". Turns out I was right in the first one. I also went though many labels in my gender-questioning phase, like bigender, pangenderflux, paragirl, androgynous and demigender.

💛 - Actually, I'm not sure. I think it was in the pandemy, when I first made a stronger contact with the community (mostly by gacha life videos and netflix movies), and then, after considering myself an ally for a while, I noticed that I liked girls. This was when I went for a new school after pandemy, and I think this change had much impact on how I am nowadays, like, when I went to this new school, as I didn't know anybody, I started learning to draw, to spend time, and now my friends kinda see it like a defining part of myself. A drawer.

☀️ - I don't really think so. Maybe my mom, or social media, showing that there were other people like me, and even more diverse. Perhaps it helped me in some ways.

🌾 - Lol, I don't look like the kind of queer I am, but everybody I first knew could easly tell I liked girls. I look pretty much like a lesbian (😂) even in the days I'm not even a girl

🌱 - I'm not sure. Maybe relieved? Thinking that many things started to make sense? I think it would prevent a huge waste of time.

🍀 - Back when I was around 10yo, I used to look in the mirror and experiment new pronouns. He/she or they/she. One day I would look in the mirror and prefer one, then in the other I'd be like "how could I even think on that, I definitively prefer this one" and then next day I would give up, thinking it was all just silly and keep my she/her only to start it all again. Yea, it took me four more years to notice. Also, back then, I really wanted to fall in love. I had a "potencial love interest list" in my head, some boys I was friends with that lived in the neighbourhood, some kids i would be fine falling in love with. Even, uh, one or two years ago I had a hard time with it (romantic atration), and I only had one (1) crush in a pretty girl once, and then never again. I think it makes way more sense now that I percieve myself as partially aro

💚 - Well, my mum, who is demiace, some friends at school, my brother (omni) and some friends of the family. Not that much but not that few.

🦚 - I'm not a huge fan of movies and stuff, but one I love is "Do Revenge" on netflix (though it is not exavlty about queerness) and the other is Alice jr. Talking about books, I like the pjo universe, A Million of Happy Endings, Felix Ever After and Red, White & Royal Blue. In cartoons, I love The Owl House and She-ra (though i haven't finished it yet). There are many others i like, but they only have a small cast of queer characters, despiste being amazing in my opinion. Like Cassandra Clare books (you may disagree) or A Darker Shade of Magic

💙 - I was the ally kind. I remember hearing about transness and thinking if it would apply to me, but I identified as an allo cishet girl for a pretty long time until my pre-teens

🦋 (i don't have the berries emoji so it's gonna be that) - I really wish I was a femboy, but first I pretty much need a binder, and once, I cut my hair really short and i'm waiting it to grow back

🔮 - I don't have a clear memory about realizing I liked girls. But this definitively was around my 10yo. Also, I remember realizing i was trans while going get ice cream with my siblings, after pandemy. I put on a jacket and a masc shirt someone gave me. I remember wanting to be percieved as a boy so badly, and when I went back home I started to notice cis girla normally don't wish that

💜 - Lesbian, gynesexual and bigender, besides the ones i currently identify as

😈 - very much, thank you

🏳️‍🌈 - I love the genderfluid and the gender-non-conforming flag, and also the ace pride flag. But I don't wear them often.

🏳♀️♂️ - I guess it's the xenogender flag. The prettiest of all. Ot then the Genderintertwined or the Juxera one. OR the multigender one. They are beautiful

🌈 - I don't have much knowledge on queer story yet, but I think some greek myths about queerness should get more atention, like Achiles' or Yacynthus' story. Or that one about Dyonisus (about him being the patron of trans people) - and the story of when Artemys turned a boy into a girl so the kid could be a part of the Hunt. Things like that in all mythologies. And also intersexuality and nonbinary identities. Maybe is because I am nonbinary myself, but i think nonbinary, specially xenogender identities should be represented and recognized more often. Is hard to ask for respect when some people don't even know what nonbinary is, imagine other more complex identities.

Also, I wish a happy pride month for everybody!! 🌈

LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks

❤️ - What are your pronouns?

🌹 - What is your Sexuality?

🍁 - When did you first realize you were queer?

🔥 - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?

🧡 - How has the way you presented yourself (ex. Clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realized you were queer?

🌼 - If you used any other labels before your current one, what were they?

💛 - Who or what made you realize you were queer?

☀️ - Is there anyone who helped you accept that you were queer? If so, who?

🌾 - How queer do you think you look? Would it be obvious to someone that you were queer if they looked at you?

🌱 - How would your younger self act if your current self told them they were queer?

🍀 - What thoughts or emotions that didn’t make sense to your past self make sense now that you know you’re queer?

💚 - How many queer people do you know irl?

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?

💙 - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize ‘That’s me!’ Or did you consider yourself a ‘really good ally’ for some time?

🫐 - Are there ways you wish you could present yourself differently, but can’t?

🔮 - What Was the Moment you Realized you were Queer?

💜 - What Label(s) Have You Identified With for the Longest?

😈 - How Sasitified are you with your current Labels, if you have any?

🏳️‍🌈 - Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.?

🏳️‍⚧️ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?

🌈 - What's a Queer Identity, Experience or a piece of History you feel deserves more recognition?

Reblog to Join! :D

[tokyopewpew]

Veilguard Breakdown Pt 2

Going deeper into each companion, their quests. Factions, Cameos, and some writing stuff. SPOILERS ABOUND, read at your own risk.

These are still mostly chronological notes reacting real time to quests and characters:

I had some HOT opinions on some early game stuff. Solas' comment on abhorring blood magic, some comments on the elves and how the Veil Jumpers were so on board with denouncing their gods. My finger shot up to "well actually" very quickly but I kept playing and they addressed them. They clarify like a little later and I think that's something I and a lot of other people have gotten bad at: being patient with writing.

Now don't get me wrong, there is a lot of bad writing out there that won't address stuff that is important.

But we gotta trust sometimes that we won't get a wall of exposition right away. That we'll get a line that makes us go, huh that's interesting I want to know more about that. And wait five minutes to naturally come back to it.

AAAAAAAA INKY SHOWS UP! Pretty early! Happy to see them so soon!

BACK AND SO COOL I LOVE THE DIALOGUE BEING A LEADER BEING A HERO

BITCH SHES GETTING DRAWN AS THE GENERAL SHE IS!! SAVING SOUTHERN THEDAS. (I did not disband the Inquisition. I had a Solavellan inquisitor which by the end of Inquisition is fucking beat down into playing the role of The Herald, which I like as a mirror of Solas and his mask of Fen'Harel.)

Damn Solas being a catty sexy sassy bitch saying he tortured a bitch with rumors and laughter. Note from later: THE FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER THEY ROCK YOU ON

everyone is def less bitchy than previous games and not dealing with as much overt racism. Not having a base in “the real world” removes some of that. But despite taking place in cities, not seeing alienages or acknowledging that makes it super different. I’m sure it’s something people will criticize but im ok with Thedas being Nicer™️. Companions are less bitchy but there is tension and conflict but it is like. communicated and resolved super easily. Which i know it’s maybe fun for Alistar and Morrigan to fight and argue but you have to have a character like Morrigan to do that. There aren’t really any catty bitches on the squad. This is a group of professionals hired on a job. They all feel more like coworkers than a found family. Like DA:2 as a group gave me anxiety they would shit on each other so much like you guys should not be friends.

Don’t know what the beef people have with the dialogue. It all works fine for me.

Taash’s gender stuff is a little fast. Baby’s first gender story but it’s still good. They are appealing to wide audience. Still nice to see. I love Maddie’s Mini on tiktok’s comment that like the qun’s gender roles are so progressive they wrap back around to being conservative. Men and women have distinct roles and they WILL trans your gender to fit them. So Taash being non-binary is like the one way to be difficult for her mom to understand about gender.

Solas was a spirit! Imean they all were. with lyrium bodies?? ok guess that’s why y’all are immortal. ugh i love all that implies. He hates having a physical form but learning to love all the sensations that come with it. The body is joy but also horror. The miseries too but food, touch, smell.

omg so cute when harding moved a rock she shakes her hands in the air like woo i did it!

wow took awhile to remember to write notes (I played like 15 hours forgetting to do any notes)

Interesting mix of companion quests! Funny I did the Formless One dragon first so now every subsequent dragon fight has been a breeze.

Harding’s personal quest was an easy choice: push for compassion. She’s so nice. Bellara’s final choice felt disconnected from her “omg it’s my BROTHER” lines. and Neve I didn’t really have a say because i didn’t help Minrathous. I think i got her to be a defender of Dock Town?

Taash and Emmerich’s both are the best, most emotional and RP wise, hardest choices. while I didn’t give a fuck about these side boss characters, Taash’s emotional end with her mom was very impactful. Hezzenkoss’ giant skeleton was super cool visually and MANFREED. I chose to revive him because idk. I think when we’re fighting against immortal gods it’s hard to be like yea do that too Emmerich. But it’s still sad and either way he’s having to confront loss and mortality?? So either way is bittersweet which is GOOD WRITING. Cannot believe people choose lich romanced Emmerich.

Davrin’s quest was very satisfying too! It also felt like an easy choice to have the griffons start a new legacy since that is nice symmetry to his own storyline.

loved getting to run around Villa Delamorte locked in with a romance to Lucanis like wait a second this is… your house? This. Is your house. YOUR house. ok ok ok like fuck i’m a backwoods elf treasure hunter wtf and having to meet Catarina again but now as like. Her favorite grandson’s romantic partner. Neither choice for his felt particularly impactful. Maybe if they killed Illario and not just imprisoned him? I think i picked his based on armor tbh. The only one I did that for.

Yay to my inquisitor and rook having a drink together! I do love my Lavellan but Rook is like girl, stand up. Oh my god. (But internally, oh my god I love the dialogue ugh)

Very tame romance scenes (I took this back by the end. I appreciate the ramping up in the final fight and Lucanis only being able to get some comfortable sleep with her there is… oh so good. They have such an interesting dynamic. Babysitting Spite. Will write more in fanfic to explore it). Their lead up was very unromantic.

THANK GOD NO HARD TIME WITH THE GRIFFONS!!! They survive without blight!! Kind of a stupid choice tbh why not have them both get some gryphies? In the forest and the wardens? also rip but i’m hoping the wardens won’t be around much longer

[riisinaakka-draws]

“Ardently”

Silver and Madi (from Black Sails) at the beach on the Maroon Island or somewhere around Nassau, getting to know each other :)

Another gazing-at-your-loved-one(s) art... oops, but so what! I love that xD Alternative title was “I think I’m falling in love with you” (thought by both).

Please, do not repost elsewhere.

[iridescent-petrichor]

everything means nothing if i can’t have you

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: none !

Words: 1.5K

Request: Could I request Steve Harrington and reader boasting abt their dates so they end up going on a double date but the entire time it’s them making the other jealous, trying to act like they don’t have a massive crush on each other and then maybe something happens that is like the last straw for their dates and they walk out so eventually they confess?

A/N: this idea was so cute omg thank u :D i really enjoyed writing this !!

You walked into Family Video, head held high as you made your way to distract your two closest friends. As you pull the door open, you become acutely aware of what Steve was talking about.

He’d gone on a couple of dates with one of the many girls he’d been flirting with, and he hasn’t stopped talking about her.

“Yeah, things have been going well, and Lisa’s been amazing,” Steve exclaimed to a very bored-looking Robin.

“Talking up your girlfriend again?” You ask, leaning on the counter that separated you from Robin and Steve.

Robin rolled her eyes, a smile growing on her face.

“Don’t you have anything to do other than distract us at work?” Steve turned to you, his voice lacking any malice behind it.

“Please distract me, Y/N,” Robin groaned, collapsing onto the counter dramatically. “He’s been talking my ear off about some girl he went out with twice-”

“Three times.”

“-Three times.” She finished, giving you a desperate look. “Help me.”

You laughed, trying not to imagine Steve going out with some girl three times. Besides, you’d also been casually seeing one of the Hawkins guys.

“I’ve actually been going on dates as well.” You said, avoiding Steve’s eyes to look at Robin, missing the way Steve’s smile falters.

“Oh really? With who?” Suddenly, Robin was interested. It was one thing to hear Steve ramble on about his million dates, but you weren’t nearly as open to talking about your dating life.

Probably because of how nonexistent it was…

“You know James? He was in band for a couple of years but dropped it senior year.” You explained, watching Robin take a small trip down memory lane to remember who James was.

“Oh! Yeah, he played the clarinet, didn’t he?” You nodded excitedly, and Robin cheers. “I remember that guy! He was always super nice, I remember when he gave me a ride home after one of the games!”

“Yeah, him!” You and Robin laugh, not noticing Steve rolling his eyes.

“I give you rides, too, y’know.” He scoffed, getting Robin’s attention.

“Steve, are you jealous of Y/N’s boyfriend?”

You wouldn’t go as far as to call him your boyfriend, but you held your tongue.

“Of course not!” Steve folded his arms, growing defensive.

Robin stayed silent, but the look on her face said all she needed to.

“Okay, Y/N,” You turned to Steve as he spoke again. “How about a double date, then? May the person with the better date win.”

“…Win what?” You asked, trying not to laugh when Steve started sputtering.

“Y’know…” He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, no words coming out.

“…Sure.” Steve nodded thoughtfully, despite the little thought that went behind what he was saying. “So, when do you wanna do the double date?”

“I was thinking Friday night, we could meet at the arcade?” Steve suggested, pointing vaguely to where the arcade was in the building next to you.

“Isn’t that a little too close to your workplace, Stevie?” Robin questioned, leaning forward on the counter, earning a look from Steve.

“Yeah, I’m down. See you Friday.” You stuck your hand out, which Steve shook, laughing lightly as the deal was made.

 It felt like Friday came much too quickly for your liking. You felt like you’d only just agreed to a double date, when you were already standing in front of your mirror, criticizing your outfit. You’d dressed up a little nicer than usual, despite how casual you knew the night would be. It was just a double date at the arcade, it wasn’t like you were going to a gala.

When there was a knock at your door, you knew you were out of time.

Smoothing out your outfit, you rushed to the front door, pulling it open to reveal your date.

“Hey!” You smiled, taking his extended hand and letting him take you to his car.

It wasn’t a long drive by any means, but it felt like it lasted a million years. You weren’t sure why you were dreading it so much, it’s not like you weren’t used to being around Steve.

Once you arrived, James got out of the car, finally choosing to comment on your outfit.

“You know, you didn’t need to dress up so nice, I feel so underdressed now.” He chuckled, and you forced a smile, feeling a little awkward now in what you were wearing.

“I know, I just…” You noticed Steve standing near the entrance chatting with his date, despite his eyes being fixed on you. “…felt like it…”

James notices Steve as well, giving him a casual wave and making his way toward the two. You followed behind, the four of you walking into the arcade together.

The pinball machine is what you noticed first, and it was your time to impress James.

“Oh, I’m really good at this one!” You run towards it, putting a quarter in and beginning to play.

You were usually quite good at pinball, but you could feel Steve’s gaze on you and it was distracting, to say the least. It wasn’t until you started messing up that he stepped in.

“You’re not doing it right. Here,” He moved right up to you so he could keep a hand on one of the buttons, leaving the other one for you. “I’ll help you.”

Your distraction, unsurprisingly, got much worse, and you could barely focus on the game in front of you, let alone whatever Steve was saying to you.

Neither of you noticed both of your dates exchanging a look, and you only moved away from Steve once you ended up losing.

“You were messing me up!” You laughed, shoving him gently.

He shook his head, smile wide. “No, I think you just suck at pinball.”

“Yeah, whatever.” With a roll of your eyes, you stood back, moving closer to James.

Then, Steve’s date notices the basketball arcade game in the corner of the room.

“Hey, Steve, you should be good at that, right?” She pointed, watching Steve’s attention go from you to the machine in the back.

“Yeah, that’s my time to shine!” He grins, the four of you making your way towards the game.

James slips his hand into yours, making you glance at him. He gives you a smile that you return, glad everyone seemed to be enjoying the night.

Before he began, Steve gave his date a quick kiss on the cheek, and with you looking at James, you didn’t see the way Steve glanced at you afterward. His date, however, did notice. She rolled her eyes, standing a little closer to him while the game started up.

You can tell Steve is trying to impress his date with the way he’s attempting about a million trick shots, but she doesn’t seem too enthused about it. The three of you watched him throughout the allotted time, seeing the score increase with every throw.

By the time it finished, Steve had beaten the high score. You could see how proud he was, turning to you instead of his own date with a wink. She folds her arms, exchanging a look with James unbeknownst to you and Steve. You return his look with a small smile, barely noticing the tension that has grown between the group.

The four of you then continued wandering the arcade, before Steve found another game to try.

“Hey, how bout this one?” His eyes quickly darted between you and Lisa, stopping in front of a dual racing game.

“Yeah, I think I’m just gonna head home,” Lisa said, looking a little disappointed.

Steve stops, not really wanting to end the night. “Wait- wh- I drove you here, how are you gonna get home?” He realizes how inconsiderate the question sounds as he says it, cringing to himself.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. Before she can respond, however, your own date speaks up.

“I can give her a ride home. I’m done anyways.”

You frown, giving him a look.

“What do you mean?” You ask, confused. You thought it was going relatively well – you’d been having a good time, at least.

“Yeah, I’m not really into watching you flirt with Steve Harrington for a night.”

Lisa nods, casting a frustrated look at you. “Me neither.”

Steve takes a step towards you, almost defensively.

Both of your dates leave, and suddenly it’s just you and Steve left at the arcade.

“I mean, I wasn’t…” You glance at Steve for only a moment, finding it hard to look at him.

“Yeah, same, I didn’t-”

“I just-”

There’s a long silence between the two of you before Steve continues.

“She was right.” He said. “I kinda was just trying to impress you tonight.”

You can’t help the sheepish grin on your face. “Yeah, I was too. I mean, why do you think I wore this stupid outfit?”

“It looks nice, though.” He said, looking down at you for a moment.

You pause for a moment, the two of you standing in the middle of the arcade. “…You wanna finish this date?”

Steve smiles, grinning from ear to ear. “I would love that.”

You and Steve then spent the rest of the night wasting all of your quarters, laughing more than you’ve ever laughed before.

[secondjulia]

❤️

AH! Totally missed this answer from @gabessquishytum ! In deference to a comment, I have to continue...

The next Friday, Dream is already in the apartment when Hob gets home from his early afternoon class. Hob’s loved all the dream food Dream’s been sharing, but he explains that he also wants to share some of his own special meals with Dream. Dream, nervous about the whole food situation, agrees because his sibling haven’t stopped pestering him about the whole Human Experiences thing (almost like they’re living vicariously through him) and also, he’s still trying to be a good 2022 husband. So Hob makes several hushed phone calls (“Erm… reservations in London, amIright?! Haha. Just a bit of… ah, finagling.”)

They have a couple of hours, so Hob discards his professorly blazer and worn beige sweater and looks through his closet for something a little nicer. He ends up — somewhat self-consciously — pulling out a black V-neck cashmere sweater. He’s occasionally experimented with the color (or, well, lack thereof) throughout the years, but next to the memory of his beautiful, midnight-clad stranger, Hob always felt like something of a rotten potato. But now, he feels the urge to swath himself in Dream’s colors. He wants to declare his belonging to his new husband — in spirit if not yet in law. The rest of the outfit is his usual shades of brown that have been with him these six hundred years.

Hob doesn’t tell Dream to change, because Dream looks as elegant as he always does, but when Hob turns away from the mirror, Dream is standing in the doorway in a lovely midnight suit over a matching lacy shirt with a small ruff underscoring his perfect marble face. 

For perhaps a whole minute, Hob cannot even speak. 

Dream looks at him nervously. “Is this…acceptable garb? The sartorial dreams of the age do not always reflect—“

Hob flings himself at Dream cutting off the uncertainty with his strong arms and murmuring agains Dream’s neck, “It’s gorgeous, love. You always are.”

As Hob walks Dream down the back stairs between the apartment and the Inn, he explains casually that hotel clerks aren’t usually legally registered officiants. It is weird that they don’t make that a standard part of onboarding in the industry, but well, corporations these days — always cutting corners! 

So, Hob explains as he reaches for the door beside the bustling kitchen — and Dream tilts his head curiously (seriously, dreamers’ marriage rules are so confusing!) — that while the Honeymoon Suite rite can be a very important part of the whole wedding situation, one has to make sure the marriage counts in all the proper ways with the paperwork and witnesses and everything.”

He pushes the back door of the Inn open. The bartender immediately beams over at him and bats at the shoulder of one of the regulars, a young guy with a nice suit and a loose tie hanging low over a partially unbuttoned shirt. He grins and hops off his stool and hurries over to Dream and Hob.

The Inn is bustling — it’s Friday night after all — but a grinning waitress shows them immediately over to one corner table, which has been laid out with a red table cloth and taper candles. At the bar, the bartender ignores his duties for a moment, which is totally ok because all the patrons have turned to watch the stunning lovebirds.

“Dream,” Hob says nervously as they sit down. He gestures to the regular from the bar (who’s dutifully buttoning up his shirt and tightening his tie.) “This is Brad.”

“’sup,” Brad says in the most solemn way it is possible to say ‘sup.

“Brad’s a regular. And a… erm… Justice of the Peace.”

Dream gives an equally solemn little nod. “I am honored to meet any of Hob’s acquaintances.”

“Brad can help us get all those official details down. You know… so we can be married in every proper way.”

Dream blinked at him.

Hob swallows. He hadn’t really thought that Dream would refuse, but now that Hob has said the words, a lightning bolt of fear forks through his heart. “Of course we don’t have to, if-if you didn’t want—“

Dream stopps his words with a kiss. “I would marry you in every proper way,” he whispers when he pulls back, “complete all the official ceremonies of this age to be your husband.”

Hob grins so hard it hurts. “Fortunately we only need the one.”

He looks at Brad, who gives him a little nod.

Hob takes Dream’s hands. “Dream, I’ve loved you for… well, it feels like 600 years. But in a good way,” he adds hastily. Oh dear, he hadn’t exactly through through all the details, and Hob is hardly a poet or bard! What could he possibly say to Dream, who’d patroned Chaucer and that fool Shaxberd? (Who, Hob must admit, had written a few decent verses.) Hob takes a deep breath. It had been his big mouth that got Dream’s attention in the first place, and he’d just have to trust to it now. “It hasn���t always been smooth sailing, but I figure that just means we know each other better than those that haven’t had — seemingly — century-long spats. You’re still a mystery, Dream. And I know humanity’s a bit of a mystery to you, too. But I’d live till the ends of the universe if it means we get to explore those mysteries together.”

Dream’s eyes gleam with unshed tears. “Hob Gadling, you are an audacious, insatiable creature. I am… gratified that you have shared your experiences with me for so long. I would gladly show you the universe for the rest of time as your husband. And I would take whatever you wish to share, all those mysteries you will continue to uncover with your inexhaustible hunger for life.”

There are more than a few sniffs from the bar and the surrounding tables. 

Brad wipes one eye and clears his throat. “Sounds good! So, Hob Gadling, do you take Dream…”

“Endless,” Hob says with a glance at Dream, who just returns a rare heart-stopping smile. Good enough.

“…Dream Endless to be your lawfully wedded husband till… uh, the end of time?”

“I do,” Hob manages to choke out through his quickly closing throat. 

“And Dream Endless, do you take Hob Gadling to be your lawfully wedded husband till the ends of the universe?”

“I do,” Dream says. 

“Great! Hob Gadling and Dream Endless, you’ve made the required declarations in the presence of witnesses, and I now pronounce you husbands! You may kiss!”

Hob takes Dream’s face gently between his hands and kisses him softly (but with the tiniest wet slip that sends jolts of anticipation right down his body.) They embrace to the sounds of Aw! and several appreciative whistles and wooo!s and a background of applause.

Under the din, Dream whispers nervously in Hob’s ear, “Were we not allowed to kiss before?”

Hob laughs and cuddled Dream closer. He definitely still has a lot to teach Dream about Earth. “No, love,” he murmurs back, “we definitely were. But now if’s official.”

Hob has asked the chefs to prepare the absolute best of whatever they have, and even Dream is impressed by the crispy garlic-herb double fried fries and the perfectly rare steak seared in butter and draped with fresh basil and the heavenly tiramisu. In between kisses, hearty congratulations from the New Inn clientele, and the signing of some official paperwork (with the waitress and bartender happily standing as witnesses), they even manage to eat most of it.

Word has spread like wildfire because social media exists, and several of Hob’s colleagues (and, to his slight embarrassment a few students) stop by before the appetizers are done to say congrats. 

Some time around desert, Hob is mildly alarmed when several of Dream’s siblings waft in with well wishes. (Alerted not by social media but by the ever observant Mad Hettie about the big to-do at the Inn.) There’s even a giant red-headed bloke with a ponytail grinning in at them from the shadows outside. 

It is, for a wedding whipped up in a couple of hours, perfect. And now it is official.

Notes

1) Yes, of course it’s THAT SUIT. 

Hob is wearing something like a modernized browner version of his 1885 outfit but with a deep-V cashmere black sweater under it. There's probably some chest hair making an appearance.

2) Yes I did use my writing time this morning to look up official British secular marriage ceremonies and policies, and I do know there’s a lot more to it and probably more to actually getting married officially in the UK, and I could not even figure out if a Justice of the Peace is the same thing in the UK & US and I'm quite sure there's a waiting period or something but it was all very confusing, and I didn't really care! Look, sorry, ma'am, this is a tumblr story, not a How To guide!

This Vacation Romance/Honeymoon Suite one set off fireworks in my heart!!: https://gabessquishytum.tumblr.com/post/732821235748225024/dream-is-the-one-left-at-the-altar-too-much-too

I’m incomprehensibly attached to the Accidental Engagement trope — i.e. one character thinks they’re engaged and the other doesn’t realize. ALSO, I have this whole elaborate headcannon about how the Endless have no idea how marriage works because marriage has been SO many things in the billion years/species/cultures of existence. So like what if…

Dream visits Hob sometime after 2022 while he’s trying to make up for being gone/walking out on Hob & he’s agreed to see what this century has to offer. (And maybe his siblings are leaning on him a bit to actually experience the world a bit more — I mean, he’s the only one of them that has an actual very knowledgeable human guide! What a waste not to take advantage, right?!) So Hob — kind of panicking when Dream shows up asking to go on vacation — books the first available all-inclusive resort package Google serves up, and in a few hours they’re on a plane (because transportation is part of The Experience and sand is cheating). But at the front desk, there’s a problem…

Hob: Welp, they’ve double booked us. Damn Expedia! But good news! They’ve got an extra room after some last minute cancellation. It’s the Honeymoon Suite though, so… ah… *shifts awkwardly while yearning to spend a night in the Honeymoon Suite with Dream*

Dream *very seriously accepting this eternal commitment*: Ah, I see. Yes, Hob Gadling… Yes, I… I think I should like this. 

Hob: You sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want to make you feel…

Dream: I am certain. 

Hob: Really, we don’t have to! *really, really wanting to*

Dream *even more into it after seeing how gentle & caring Hob is being toward Dream’s feelings* : I understand. I accept this proposition, Hob.

As Dream follows Hob solemnly up to the penthouse Honeymoon Suite, he thinks about all the different ways he’s seen dreamers bound in union over the eons. This feels a bit abrupt, but it’s hardly stranger than some of the traditions that have existed. What a lucky chance that he should stumble into this experience with Hob!

(It might be Desire more than chance, but they are definitely not telling.)

As they approach the gilded door at the end of the hallway, Dream shyly takes Hob’s hand. If they are married now (and he saw the woman put their names into the computer, so it is done), then surely he need no longer suppress his feelings, so long as Hob is amenable.

And, yeah, is Hob amenable! He’d only imagined maybe getting a touch, even a lingering glance by the end of the week. But Dream melts into him and — though Hob checks in frequently to make sure Dream’s ok with everything — they spend a long, hot week tangled in the bedsheets, sipping margaritas, and getting up only for room service and bathroom breaks.

Back at home, he expects that that’ll be it for a while. Dream must’ve needed to blow off some steam after his imprisonment. But Dream shows up every day that week. He’s very busy, but he makes sure to pull the finest food out of the most renowned chefs’ dreams; he even packs some away every evening to make sure Hob has something to take to work the next day. He reads or sits quietly while Hob does his marking or lesson planning. Then they gently wash each other in the shower, and then Dream slips under the sheets with Hob. 

It’s so great that Hob is starting to get worried. 

Hob *taking Dream’s hand*: Dove, what is it? I’m not complaining, but are you… alright?

Dream (who has been self-conscious as he is still catching up on what husbands want/are like in 2022): It has been many years since I… since I was in this position. Is this not what you wish from a sworn partner?

Hob *sworn partner?*: I… yes?

Dream: When you asked me to complete the Honeymoon Suite rite, I thought of how I had… disappointed those I was sworn to before. As a husband, I have hardly been as thorough in my responsibilities as I have in other areas of my function. And yet, my heart leapt at the chance to try again — even on the spur of the moment — and our courtship had spanned so many centuries, that it seemed to make sense…

It is as Dream speaks, unravelling several millennia of complex emotions, that Hob realizes he has a spouse. Oh, and that he’s been dating Dream for six hundred years?!

This is so wonderful and delightful and I love the dialogue you've written between them SO much like omg it's so soft. The honeymoon suite rite 😭😭😭

Imagine how gentle Hob is with Dream, even while his heart races and he tries to navigate his brain around the idea of being MARRIED. To DREAM. He's pulling Dream in close to his chest and rubbing his back while quietly freaking out. He's so mad at himself for not knowing that they were courting this whole time! No wonder Dream was mad when Hob called him lonely and started banging on about friendship in 1889! Holy shit!

He should have been showering Dream in love, courting gifts, affection and all of that stuff!!! He has SO much time to make up for, he's so lucky that Dream agreed to marry him when Hob has accidentally been the worst boyfriend ever for 600 years...

Dream peeks up out of Hob’s chest and he's like "am I performing my duties as a 21st century human husband adequately? It is very important to me that you should be happy in our marriage." And Hob nearly hyperventilates (in like a good way) and just pulls Dream closer to convey that a) he is a very satisfied husband and b) he intends to be the best damned spouse that Dream of the Endless has ever had <3