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windtempos · 2 years ago

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Empty Graves

“When people enter a cemetery and talk to a headstone, they imagine the person buried beneath it, beautiful as ever. But Leo could not bring herself to picture a casket under Ashlyn’s. Not an occupied one, anyway.”

Ashlyn Mercy and Rio Hideki, childhood friends with mysterious and separate deaths in their teenage years, begin again once the world is sure they’re dead. But the only person they cannot convince is each other.

Three locks on the front door, a Glock tucked away beside the door frame, a camera on the balcony, a motion sensor on both her motorcycle and her helmet. That was always the rule. Caelius was no stranger to throwing herself head-first into the public eye, chasing federal agent radio and creating chaos for a check, but when it came to her and her own personal space, nobody was going to get a look inside. Impulsive and calculated are not mutually exclusive; and if she was good for anything in this cybernetic body, it was rapid calculations.

Numbers had been her favorite long before her mind uploaded to the body and she became them. She ran her fingers raw solving last-minute robotics equations that had saved their team on multiple occasions. Rio was much the same, though she took charge of strategy and performance. It could’ve just been them two competing for their robotics team, wearing each other’s names and numbers on their jackets, and they still would’ve won. Back then, she was still Ashlyn Mercy. Back then, she would’ve been afraid of disappearing. Of leaving Rio alone.

Numbers were the one thing they’d both excelled at. But no amount of calculations, no amount of mental math and critical analysis can bite bad luck before it bites first.

She remembered when the news broke. She’d moved away almost two years before, but was one of the first to hear about Rio’s accident. They’d found the car, wheels up, empty of bodies. Her parents were satisfied when the investigators concluded she’d tumbled out of the passenger side and into the water-- lost to the rapids-- but Ashlyn wasn’t. It was impossible. She was too good. Too smart. Too careful to end up in a car that would crash like that.

Caelius wonders if, when the feds told the world that Ashlyn Mercy had died on the operating table, someone thought the same of her. Thought she was too smart to die from something she’d studied so closely. The one thing she’d been good at, the one thing she ached to be good at, falling apart at the hands of powers she could not control.

Getting over it wouldn’t change anything. Whatever good people might’ve seen in her after she’d died, it was surely gone by now. Bad luck bites, so you bite back with sharper teeth. Ashlyn Mercy had learned this. Charlotte Caelius had perfected it.

Leo stood at the foot of her own grave for a long time, but remained at Ashlyn’s even longer. This was the closest that Rio Hideki’s casket was ever going to come to being occupied. She wonders if they’ll change it to Leo Konomi when she actually dies, or if they’ll opt for a separate headstone entirely. They were two completely different people, anyway. She wonders when the world will find that out, too.

There weren’t many places in her hometown she’d planned on lingering-- especially a cemetery-- but to see the first two-ish decades of your life reduced to a memory keeps you frozen in time, thinking about everything that led up to it. There will always be the wonder of a what-if. She plays the whole thing out differently, every once in a while. They get more and more elaborate and she lets them.

One. Nobody moves away and both of them survive, graduating high school together. Rio almost drops her diploma in the parking lot, and Ashlyn spills Cherry Coke on her gown in the passenger seat of Rio’s car.

Two. Ashlyn still moves to New York, but she sends a package every month. Stationery, snacks, tacky NYC memorabilia-- items that say “I’m here, but I’ll still always be there”.

Three. Rio’s body is pulled out of the crash. Ashlyn stays with her in the hospital room while her broken leg heals. She brings lavender in a vase and Rio’s geometry homework, insistent on doing the odd problems for her.

Four. They die in the same freak accent, for real this time. It’s quick and painless.

When people enter a cemetery and talk to a headstone, they imagine the person buried beneath it, beautiful as ever. A caricature of everything good about the bones they’re sitting on. A face untouched by whatever killed them. But Leo could not bring herself to picture a casket under Ashlyn’s. Not an occupied one, anyway. She’d read every piece of information, every article around her circumstantial death at the hands of the mind transfer procedure, and it still wasn’t adding up. People had died from this procedure before, but none of them were Ashlyn Mercy. She was far too smart to throw herself into something she had little faith in, and she was too stubborn to die.

Is that all it was? Bad intuition? Bad faith?

Four years of convincing herself that was the answer. Even here, at the foot of her best friend’s grave, she still doesn’t buy it.

Leo sees a blonde woman, slender and stoic, leaving the west side of the cemetery. Her heels click on the pavement with every step and she doesn’t seem interested in looking at anything but the side of the car in her eyeline. She came and saw what she needed to and she folds herself into the back of a vehicle.

Now that it’s empty, Leo approaches the west side of the lot, making a beeline for her own headstone. The bouquet placed beneath it smells of lavender.

“I missed you before I left for work,” says a voice on the phone. “You were still asleep. “How was the trip?”

“Yeah, my flight got in late and I didn’t want to bug you,” says Leo, dodging bodies on a busy sidewalk in the merchant district. “It was good. Nothing particularly special, but it’s not like I was expecting parades and warm welcomes.”

“Guess that’s a good thing. You were worried about keeping a low profile.”

“Part of me was hoping to get recognized, but it’s probably best that I didn’t.”

“If anything, it’s nice to get away from the smog and bad drivers for a little while. Anywhere is greener than LA. Except, like, New Mexico. Wouldn’t that be crazy? If you were from New Mexico? Then everyone would probably ask why you’re so pale.”

“...Right.” Leo enters a crosswalk, nearly brushing shoulders with two women. One has kinky curls and a glove over her left hand; the other is blonde and glances between all the passersby as if in assessment. Her eyes meet with the latter’s. It takes everything to not let her knees buckle in the middle of the road. She manages to stumble her way to the sidewalk again. There is no possible way this could be a coincidence. No chance for bad intuition.

“Hey, Allie, is it okay if I miss dinner tonight?”

A beat, before Allie goes, “Sure. I wasn’t planning anything in particular. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to wrap up all my old-life things in one day, if that makes any sense. I’ll see you tonight.”

Cheery as ever, you can hear Allie’s smile over the phone. “Be safe Leo. I love you!”

“I love you, too.”

Leo whips her head around to get another glance at the pair. They don’t look back, but they lean a little closer to one another before the blonde peels off to speak to a clothing vendor. The two carry very little on their person and are dressed not too dissimilar to Leo herself. Locals, she thinks. They don’t hesitate to nod at the vendors up the road, meaning they can’t live far from the merchant district. They’ll be back later.

This is the only shred of hope she’s had. They have to be back later.

Later that evening, Leo finds herself on the fire escape of a vacant apartment. The night markets of the merchant district open earlier and earlier as the sun begins to set in similar fashion. By now, the last of the day’s light has almost faded beyond the horizon, leaving only a murky glow behind the field of smog. The district hardly needs the aid of streetlamps when light, colorful or warm white, pours out of each booth like it’s drowning in it. This part of LA is a ways from Leo’s own, and she’s not exactly here for leisure, but maybe she could be someday. Allie would love it. Truth be told, there’s few things about this millennia that Allie doesn’t love. Both Leo and her girlfriend were people out of their own eras, in some respects. They had that in common.

Leo perks up when she sees the curly-haired woman talking to a vendor, not quite ten years her elder. No glove on her hand this time, leaving her metal fingers exposed to the elements and in plain sight. Leo looks down at her own ankle, listening to the mechanisms stretch and compress as she flexes her foot. Before long, she’s rounding the corner and heading north. She steps up to the side door of a dingy, four-floor apartment complex, not unlike the one Leo is perched outside. She eases herself down the latticework of the fire escape, brushes off her jeans, and follows at a distance. A light on the third floor goes on, then off after about thirty seconds. Either nobody’s home for the night or they’re just unbelievably early sleepers, she thinks. Neither seems like Ashlyn, but Leo prepares herself for the chance that the woman she finds won’t be the same one she once knew.

She climbs up the fire escape on the side of the complex and tosses her body to the front, narrowly grabbing hold of a railing on the facade. The streetlamps are curiously broken around all the buildings on this side of the road, giving her enough cover to hoist herself onto the balcony. It’s empty, save for a couple wooden stools and a jar of lights set to a timer sitting on top of one. They look like fireflies. Definitely not a coincidence.

With a gentle jostle of the doorframe, it slides open quietly enough for Leo’s liking and she slips inside. With the small amount she can see in the dark, it’s hardly decorated, but somehow painfully lived-in. She grasps for any sign of Ashlyn in the knickknacks under the TV, the papers on the kitchen counter, or frames on the walls. A childhood photo. A toy robot. Anything.

Leo’s body crashes to the floor the moment she’s lined up with the hallway leading out of the living room. She barely has a moment to cradle her aching nose before a cold, metal hand pulls her upright. Fist balled up into her t-shirt, the woman shoves her against the kitchen counter.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment,” she mutters, “before I call someone who will do you worse than a broken nose.”

Leo raises her arms up. The woman has started to inch back, her brow furrowing. The gesture seems effective until Leo feels something warm dripping down her nose. The streak of blood she wipes with the back of her hand is almost black. Shit. Forgot that’s how it happens.

“Disease? Experiment? Both?” she asks, knuckles still wrapped in her shirt, just looser.

“What?” says Leo.

“Whatever it is, get it away from me. Get out.”

She hoists herself up, slowly, to give her aching back a rest from all the jostling around. “I’m not here to hurt you, or steal from you, or any of that,” she says, heaving through her breaths. “I just need to talk.”

“So you came in through the back door? It’s thirty feet high. How did you get up here?”

Leo wipes the last of the blood from her nose and manages to sit on one of the barstools without much trouble. “You could have knocked me out cold with that arm. If you’re so mad, why didn’t you?”

“Because your leg would’ve done me worse. I’m completely right to be so mad that you just broke in.”

“Does Ashlyn live here?”

The woman looks over her shoulder and back, nonplussed. Confused, even. “Who?”

“Ashlyn Mercy? When I knew her, she was brunette and about yay tall. I think she lives here. I swore I saw her with you earlier today. Blonde? Heels?”

There’s almost pity in her voice when she goes, “I don’t know an Ashlyn Mercy. I live alone. Whoever you’re looking for isn’t gonna be here. Sorry.”

She sounds so real when she says it. So honest. In becoming one, Leo has learned what even the best liars sound like. This woman is no exception. Her hope is hanging on by the edge of a razor. She hears footsteps down the hall, but her mind is in too many places at once to notice. “If you see her, can you please tell her that Rio Hideki is looking for her?”

She’s grasping at a singular straw at this point, but she can’t let go now. If there’s any chance this woman knows something, Leo owes herself a moment of desperation. At this point, she’s pleading with the universe.

“How do you know I’m not gonna take that name to someone who won’t be as kind to it as I’m being right now? You broke into my fucking apartment.”

A body emerges from the hallway. Slender, serious, blonde. Fingers wrapped with an iron grip around a silver pistol.

“Because it’s not her name anymore,” she says, hands dropping to her sides when their eyes meet. “Is it?”

The woman’s metal knuckles unfurl from her shirt, but Leo can’t move. With every blink, she alternates between looking like a stranger and looking so familiar it hurts. You wouldn’t be able to get Ashlyn Mercy from her nose, blue eyes, or curled lip, but her voice is identical. Under all the layers of whatever the ACA turned her body into, she is the girl Leo has always known.

Leo finds her footing too little too late. Ashlyn throws her arms around her, too awed for words.

“I didn’t believe it,” she mutters after a minute. “Never. Not for a fucking second.”

Leo buries her face in her friend’s shoulder. She should be angry. Both of them should be furious with each other. After losing the closest person they had and learning they’d never made it to the grave at all, they should be hurt that it took years to tell each other the truth. There is no coming back from a lie like that.

But you can’t come back to someone you never really left, can you?

Leo manages a smile. “Neither did I.”

#me when i write something for an Audience Of Two ((ONE BEING MYSELF))#writing #the operatives

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suicidalalarmclock · 5 years ago

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Prompt: Emma is a rebellious princess whose nighttime patrolling adventures bring her face to face with the probable love of her life.

Emma Elizabeth Charming was dramatically beautiful as most princesses are assumed to be, but rarely ever are. She was slightly above average height with a delicate slender build. Her complexion held a milky white irradiance that gave lead into the monotonous sheltered life style of palace living. The more pale the complexion, the more royal the subject. Another way of saying that she was never allowed outside without at least a parasol and elbow length gloves. Her blonde hair was thick and so long that many of the popular braided styles took hours to complete. She’d threatened her mother to cut it off on more than one occasion, though it may have been the only empty threat she’d ever repeated. Emma’s slanted green eyes balanced evenly upon high cheeks bones and her fine lips were colored the most feminine shade of pink.

For all her apparent femininity, and her mother’s insistence on extensive etiquette and decorum training, Princess Swan (a nick name given to her by her father for his daughter's obsession with the animals as a child) cared little about being a princess. In fact, she resented the title completely. The tedious lessons in embroidery. The arduous classes in arranging cut flowers. The boring balls she was forced to attend in order to find a proper suitor before her age became undesirable, made her feel as if she was being held captive in a world founded on traditions of which she was an alien.

She was educated well over all of her female peers and had taken to reading at a very early age. She was most beguiled with mystery novels, ever entertained with ascertaining hidden clues and piecing them together. It was an honest gift that she began training with her readings. She started striving to solve the mystery before the novels end. Emma had gotten so good that she’d soon surpassed the most cunning of authors. With that her rebellious side could no longer be fulfilled living upon the pages of fantasy. She needed some real action.

She’d started solving petty disputes amongst the palace staff. Who took what from whom and who did what with what. Her parents were never ones to stifle gifts, but to include their daughter’s gifts in their day to day lives would mean to put her in more danger than they would ever allow.

Sitting up high on her vantage point atop her four poster bed Emma could see that the chamber maidens had retired for the night. She stealthily slid out of bed pulling her unruly locks into a high ponytail and dressed quickly in an all-black riding ensemble that was borrowed from the stable boy and her good friend Daniel the night prior. She finished the look with a dark hooded cape before sneaking out under the cover of night.

“You’re going to get yourself killed.” Daniel chastised after listening to Emma’s latest plan for adventure.

“Geez Daniel. Lighten up.”

“You do remember what happened last time?”

Emma cut her eyes up from the blade of hay she’d been worrying between her fingers.

“Don’t look at me like that! You broke your arm! Who knows what would have happened if the Blue Fairy hadn’t been in residence.”

“I would have healed like a normal person.”

“You think this will play out like one of your books Swan? These are real people with real secrets and real weapons. What happens if you get caught? You’re the princess!”

“I am more than proficient with a bow and arrow thanks to my mother and I can wield a sword as gracefully as a knight thanks to good old dad. No one will guess that I am the princess.” Emma made a stern face as to stress her point. She was a woman desperate to be useful and this mission required her specific skill set.

“But Emma! It’s not as if you can do magic!”

Daniel’s instance irritated her. Of course she couldn’t do magic. Her parents would never allow it. The Enchanted forest was more of a misnomer at this day an age.

“Look will you stop? I don’t care about that.What I do care about are the children that keep disappearing from Ginger village!”

“Why not tell your father and have the knights investigate?”

If Daniel only knew that she’d in fact overheard the information from a Knight as she eavesdropped on a round table briefing. Her father’s plan had them doing everything honorably or, more accurately, his plan had them doing everything obviously.

“Because they’ll do everything by the “code of ethics” and give themselves up before they even start!”

“Fine, since you insist.” He begrudgingly acquiesced, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Daniel had prepared her most trusted steed for the excursion. A jet black stallion she affectionately called, Twilight.

“Good evening Twilight.” Emma greeted the horse in a hushed voice and Twilight huffed back mutely. He was just as excited as Emma and smart enough to know that they were on a clandestine mission so he was trying his best to be quite.

The ride was made clear by the fullness of the moon. The journey wouldn’t have been possible without its light. As she finally made it past the palace walls to the outskirts of the Enchanted forest she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. A figure hid behind the first row of trees, the moon casting the person’s lanky shadow across the ground. Emma’s heart skipped a beat and her hand reached back over her shoulder for her bow.

“Pst. Put that down! Come on, before the guards see you.” Emma relaxed instantly. It was only Daniel. “Don’t tell me you thought I was going to let you go off alone?”

Emma smiled from ear to ear very pleased by this. She would never admit to anything as pedestrian as nerves, but it was obvious that she had been having second thoughts. Daniel ascended Twilight with the trained ease of an equestrian while still allowing Emma to hold the reigns.

“So Swan, how would you feel about tackling two good deeds in one night?”

Emma was more than keen to add onto their roster. This was the first time she’d ridden cross saddle in months and the first time she’d been in the Enchanted forest without an entourage in over a year.

“Duh, what did you have in mind?

“I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Hun?”

“I’ve been seeing someone.” He repeated with a bit more volume.

“Do you hear this Twilight? He’s finally admitting to it!” Twilight made a neighing sound that was eerily close to a chuckle.

“You knew?” Daniel seemed genuinely shocked.

“You’re my best friend Daniel. Of course I knew something was going on. You never miss our rides and this month alone you missed three.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. She is very private . . . a royal.”

“Royal?” Emma wasn’t sure if she should be offended. “That’s why you waited so long to tell me? Do I know her? Not Anastasia? Oh! Don’t tell me it’s Elsa . . . I know she is very pretty and all, but I promise she’s nuts.”

“Swan stop. You do not know her . . . not really. And I know all about you and Elsa. From where I stand you deserved it.”

Emma’s cheeks became hot and she elbowed Daniel in the ribs indignantly.

“Don’t try to change the subject! Who is she?”

“The daughter of the Former King Henry . . .”

Emma’s eyes went wide and she was happy to not have been facing her friend as she had a moment to compose herself.

“You don’t mean former King Henry’s daughter.”

“Yes , I’ve been seeing the Princess Regina.”

XXX

Princess Regina pulled her traveling cloak tightly around her waist to stave off the cold night air. She was agitated. Looking at the position of the moon she counted just after 1 in the morning and there was still no sign of Daniel.

In the realm of the Enchanted Kingdom the truth of Princess Regina is little known, though the gossip surrounding her title is known all too well. The story of a jealous princess from a foreign land across the great sea, who plotted to overthrow the throne from her mother and failed miserably. The cause of her rebellion was a hot topic for speculation, but it was generally agreed upon that Regina used magic and that was enough to make her undesirable. Many had no clue as to why King Charming and Queen Snow allowed the woman and her father asylum amongst the Enchanted Kingdom. If only they knew the real story.

An oppressed and emotionally abused princess found the strength to right the wrongs of her mother’s evil practices. Regina had been prepared to die for her cause, using a spell that had very high risks. Her mother had anticipated her final moves and instead of killing her she decided to banish her instead. Finding it far more of a punishment to make a mockery of the former King and his treacherous daughter.

Now her father now forbade all magic. So where better a place to make a new life than the Enchanted forest.

Magic was one of the only things Regina and her mother had in common and even with that they both practiced so differently. Regina had been born into magic. It was essential to her being. If they didn’t want her to practice in this land than so be it. But to have had her magic physically ripped from her body was cruel. She felt weak and empty on the inside and was desperate to have them back.

The sound of hooves trotting caught her attention and she fell back into the cover of the brush not sure who was approaching.

"Regina?"

She released a breath. It was Daniel. She quickly uncovered her hiding spot only to come face to face with the most striking pair of green eyes she'd ever seen. It threw her off completely while Daniel slid down off of the back of the same horse obscuring her view.

He then bent to kiss her lips, but she pushed him away toward her cheek.

“You’re late.” She admonished. “I’ve been waiting for over an hour.”

“I am sorry.” Regina watched his blue eyes contort under the stress of having annoyed her. “It was this one’s fault.” He pointed back up to the woman with the striking eyes giving Regina a chance at a second look.

"Regina, this is Emma."

Emma? She took a moment to apply the name to the figure before her as Daniel stepped aside so the two women could properly meet.

The rumors of the princess’ beauty were not exaggerated, but she was wary to admit that. Regina pushed her shoulders back in a show of confidence though she really had none.

"Miss. Swan." She acknowledged with a slight bow of the head.

Emma took her time to look Regina over carefully. Her doll like features were quite impassive and after a painfully long silence she responded.

“You would do well to call me Princess.”

Regina’s cheeks colored. She’d put the Miss to be polite, but of course a princess would be offended by another princess not acknowledging the title.

“I didn't mean to offend you.” She tried her best to sound sincere for she truly was. Regina rarely apologized, but felt her faux pas called for further explanation. “Daniel simply calls you Swan and I did not want to seem familiar, Princess.” This time she added a curtsy.

Daniel was back at her side in an instant.

“Swan hates being called Princess.” Regina watched the other woman’s face, she visibly bristled at Daniel coming to her defense. “What’s gotten into you Swan?”

“Well it’s clear she’s gotten into you.” Emma retorted haughtily. Her face still stone cold while Regina’s face fell in shock. Namely because she and Daniel’s relationship had yet to progress that far, also it was completely none of her business. And here she was trying to be civil.

“Princess, there’s no reason to feel . . .” she searched for the right word. Jealous would be too presumptuous and she’d rather not be gauche. “intimidated by my relationship with Daniel. I know you two are close.”

It gave her great pleasure as she now watched Emma’s mouth drop wide open.

“Intimidated? You and Daniel? No!” Emma quickly defended before jumping down off of the horse to bow her head down in a formal gesture. “I’m being an asshole & I don’t know why . . . I never get to meet new people and another princess nonetheless. You’re beautiful *cough* I-I think I’m in shock. Please call me Emma.”

The sudden change in tone had Regina on alert as it was currently she trusted no one. Though Daniel was very kind to her. He said he loved her, but love was too much to ask of her at the moment. It shouldn’t matter that this woman found her beautiful, but for some reason it did. Steeling herself against the sudden wave of emotion she fixed her face in a look of practiced modesty.

She appraised Emma again. Taking a bit more time to carefully map out her features. Her hair fell out of the side of her hood in a tangle of dense glimmering ringlets slipping free from her bun. She bowed before her at the waist as if she were a gentleman. Regina’s eyes then fell to the ill fitting low male cut of her pants and the ornately expensive sword hooked expertly upon her belt. This princess Emma was a tomboy.

“Princess Emma Swan,” Regina tried again. “Are you always this rude?”

The question caught Emma off guard and she fumbled a little before her smile brightened immensely.

“Me rude?” She exaggerated “Hardly ever.”

Regina managed to smile at that. Her brown eyes softening around the edges. She felt Daniel grip her waist tighter in an encouraging manor. Happy his two favorite people were playing nice. He knew first hand that royalty had a hard time socializing, but never thought that Emma could be classified as real royal.

“Well that could’ve gone better.” Daniel began awkwardly as he let go of Regina and stepped in front of the two women. “But now that everyone knows each other let’s move along. We have very little time before daylight.”

This seemed to put Emma back on track.

“Great. Are you ready to finally tell me why you dragged my ass two hours opposite the direction of Ginger Village? Besides meeting your new girlfriend?”

Regina could barely roll her eyes before Daniel spoke again.

“ Regina knows how to use magic.”

Emma paused in her tracks before turning around again to face the fallen princess. Her lips curled to one side as she spoke.

“That explains your lack of weaponry. I was afraid you’d left Daniel’s sorry ass to defend you.”

“Cool it Swan. I’m trying to impress this one. She’s kidding by the way.”

“Sure I am.” Regina watched as Emma shot Daniel a teasing glance before gracefully mounting her steed. “And little good that will do you here. If you haven’t heard the Enchanted forest isn’t so enchanted.”

“Well, that is where you come in Swan.”

“Not sure I’m following.” Emma uttered a tad distracted. She seemed to be counting something which in turn made Regina realize the same thing.

“Dear, why didn’t you tell me to bring a horse?”

“I was supposed to have Radiance, but the King requested him last minute.”

“Dad asked for Radiance?” Emma looked properly vexed by this for a moment before seeming to drop it completely. Her eyes cut to Regina’s again for the third time that night and still all Regina could think about was how it made her feel something. Good or bad she still wasn’t sure. Her gaze was so heavy it almost felt intrusive.

“I vote Daniel walks, and you princess Regina, would you like to ride with me?”

XXX

#enchanted forest #swanqween #emma swan #regina mills #excerpts of stories #writers be like #fanfic #once upon a time #writing on tumblr #young love

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evillesbianvillainarchive · 6 years ago

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list of actually scary/anxiety inducing horror movies from 2010 onwards

(ongoing list)

Legend: 😱: not really scary, more psychological/thriller, but still inducing some level of anxiety while watching --- 😱😱: rather scary but still points more at giving anxiety during the movie, probably will leave you with a sense of oppression after finishing it if you’re easy to scare --- 😱😱😱: rather scary, starts working on more horror and crude scenes, probably leave you scared after --- 😱😱😱😱: definetly scary, well made jumpscares, totally leave you scared after watching the movie --- 😱😱😱😱😱: i saw it a month ago and still got nightmares --- ⭐: how much i liked them

In Chronological order

Insidious (2010) 😱😱😱, ⭐

The tale of a family that moves into an old house and begins to suspect they are under siege from otherworldly forces when their young son inexplicably falls into a deep coma. As devoted parents Josh and Renai struggle in vain to uncover the root cause of their son’s condition, the stress of the situation gradually begins to take its toll on their once-strong relationship. Later, when darkness falls and specters appear to reach out for them from the shadows, the frightened parents realize they’re dealing with powers beyond human comprehension

tw/cw: flashing lights

Don’t be afraid of the Dark (2011) 😱😱😱 (idk the little monsters haunted me for weeks),⭐⭐

While architect Alex Hurst and his new girlfriend Kim restore their Gothic mansion's period interiors, Alex's young daughter Sally can investigate the macabre history and dark corners of the estate. Spurring Sally's investigation are the voices-rasping whispers who call out to her from the basement, who promise her understanding and friendship, who are so very hungry and would like to be set free.

tw/cw: mild gore, broken bones, teeth

The Conjuring (2013) 😱😱😱😱, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐️

"The Conjuring" tells the true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren, world renowned paranormal investigators, who were called to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse. Forced to confront a powerful demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most horrifying case of their lives.

tw/cw: mild gore, animal death

Evil Dead (2013) 😱😱😱, ⭐⭐⭐

Five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin. When they discover a Book of the Dead, they unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods, which possess the youngsters in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

tw/cw: heavy gore, animal death, rape

Oculus (2013) 😱😱 , ⭐⭐⭐

Ten years ago, tragedy struck the Russell family, leaving the lives of teenage siblings Tim and Kaylie forever changed when Tim was convicted of the brutal murder of their parents. Now in his 20s, Tim is newly released from protective custody and only wants to move on with his life; but Kaylie, still haunted by that fateful night, is convinced her parents' deaths were caused by something else altogether: a malevolent supernatural force unleashed through the Lasser Glass, an antique mirror in their childhood home. Determined to prove Tim's innocence, Kaylie tracks down the mirror.

tw/cw: heavy gore

Babadook (2014) 😱😱, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐️

Six years after the death of her husband, Amelia is at a loss. She struggles to discipline her 6 year-old, Samuel, a son she finds impossible to love. Samuel's dreams are plagued by a monster he believes is coming to kill them both. When a disturbing storybook called 'The Babadook' turns up at their house, Samuel is convinced that the Babadook is the creature he's been dreaming about.

tw/cw: mild gore, animal death, sexual content

It follows (2014) 😱, ⭐⭐⭐

After a strange sexual encounter, a teenager finds herself haunted by nightmarish visions and the inescapable sense that something is after her.

tw/cw: sexual content, nudity, mild gore

Hush (2016) 😱, ⭐⭐️⭐

Author Maddie Young lives a life of utter isolation after losing her hearing as a teenager. But one night, the fragile world is shattered when the masked face of a psychotic killer appears in her window. Without another living soul for miles, and with no way to call for help, it appears that Maddie is at the killer's mercy... but he may have underestimated his prey.

tw/cw: gore

The Conjuring 2 (2016) 😱😱😱😱😱, ⭐⭐️⭐️⭐

The return of Lorraine and Ed Warren in one of their most terrifying paranormal investigations. The couple travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits.

tw/cw: heavy paranoia inducing

Lights Out (2016) 😱😱😱😱😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐

When a bloodthirsty supernatural being that lurks in the shadows preys upon a family, a young woman must fight to protect herself, save her little half-brother, and uncover a mystery about her family's shadowy past.

tw/cw: heavy paranoia inducing, hospitalization

Under the Shadow (2016) 😱😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐

Shideh and her family live amid the chaos of the Iran-Iraq war. Accused of subversion by the post-Revolution government and blacklisted from medical college, she falls into a state of malaise. Her husband is drafted and sent to the frontlines by the army, leaving Shideh all alone to protect their young daughter, Dorsa. Soon after he leaves, a missile hits their apartment building and while failing to explode, a neighbor dies under mysterious circumstances and Dorsa's behavior becomes increasingly erratic. Shideh finds herself slowly drawn into the ensuing turmoil, struggling to cling onto what is real and what is not. Searching for answers, she learns from a superstitious neighbor that the cursed missile might have brought with it Djinn.

tw/cw: war/bombing

Don’t Breathe (2016) 😱😱, ⭐⭐

A trio of reckless thieves breaks into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they'll get away with the perfect heist. They're wrong.

tw/cw: rape, sexual assault

IT (2017) 😱😱😱😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐

When children begin to disappear in the town of Derry, Maine, a group of young kids are faced with their biggest fears when they square off against an evil clown named Pennywise, whose history of murder and violence dates back for centuries.

tw/cw: sexual assault, pedophilia, incest, heavy gore, racism, bullyism, child death

Veronica (2017) 😱😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Veronica has taken care of her little brother and sister since the death of their father. One day during a total eclipse of the sun, Veronica and two friends decide to make a Ouija board in order to invoke her father's spirit. At the very peak of the eclipse, the glass shatters. Veronica enters a kind of trance and passes out, frightening her friends. Veronica recovers and goes home. But there, she starts to pick up on slight changes: objects that move, breathing in the dark... And she's still unaware of the horrific outcome that awaits her.

tw/cw: nudity

Get Out (2017) 😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐

Now that Chris and his girlfriend, Rose, have reached the meet-the-parents milestone of dating, she invites him for a weekend getaway upstate with Missy and Dean. At first, Chris reads the family's overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter's interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he could have never imagined.

tw/cw: mild gore, racism

A quiet place (2018) 😱😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐

A family of four must navigate their lives in silence after mysterious creatures that hunt by sound threaten their survival. If they hear you, they hunt you.

tw/cw: mild gore, child death

Hereditary (2018) 😱😱😱, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐

When Ellen, the matriarch of the Graham family, passes away, her daughter's family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry. The more they discover, the more they find themselves trying to outrun the sinister fate they seem to have inherited.

tw/cw: heavy gore, child death

#horror #horror movies #rec list #horror rec #horror tag #i think i can public it now #im gonna eventually edit it

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coolvillerp-blog · 6 years ago

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Under the cut you’ll find a SAMPLE APPLICATION that I put together for the skeleton I will be playing in this roleplay: The Ditz. I hope that if anybody needs guidance for what I expect to see in an app, this can help you out! I may have added a few extra things, so please don’t feel pressured to write more than you’re comfortable with! As long as you convey the spirit of your character, I’ll be happy with what you submit!

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION:

LABEL: The Ditz. FULL NAME: Lark Rutherford Sinclair. AGE: 22 Years Old. GENDER + PRONOUNS: cis-male, he/him pronouns. FACECLAIM: Tarjei Sandvik Moe.

EXPLORATION:

3+ HEADCANONS: –– Is there any blessing greater than to have two healthy children? With all the money they could want, Laurel and Andrew Rutherford-Sinclair never realised that they were missing something until they had it: their sons, their twins. Lark and his brother were doted on from the very first moment, cherished and adored by everyone who came in contact with them. Childhood was a golden kind of bliss, neither boy knowing the meaning of the words fear or worry. At least, they didn’t until the night the Bogeyman came. A summer night with sweltering heat, a rasp of their bedroom window sliding open. Lark watched with wide eyes while a monster took his big brother away from him. Something twisted and cruel and stinking, with dirty shoe-prints pressed into the pale carpet of the room. –– Lark feels blessed when he enters High School, a year later than he should have. The delay seems like fate when he thinks of it later. After all, if he’d gone when he was supposed to, he may never have made the friends he did. He approaches it as he approaches all things, with cautious optimism, and a smile fixed perfectly in place. Lark makes friends easily, with a grace that comes naturally to him. Lark is a delight to teach, because Lark is always polite and happy, even if he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Lark is always polite and happy, because that is how he has trained himself to be. The perfect son, attempting to sooth the ache of missing things. Everything bad gets stamped down, and replaced with a serene smile. He doesn’t get scared any more. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t lay awake at night still thinking about the Bogeyman, a phantom at his window. –– He knows what he wants to be. He is sure of it. An investigative journalist, the man who asks questions and solves mysteries and does it all with style and grace. It feels like a safe way to harbor this obsession he has with crime, with weird old men wearing masks, with little kids who get stolen away. He wants to be the man to expose corruption. He works himself to the bone, harder than one should probably have to, to get his grades and get accepted into university. For the past three years he’s worked with confidence, through every hurdle, to make sure he becomes the person he longs to be. Someone cool, someone confident, someone skilled at the art they have chosen to pursue. People still underestimate him, even at college, but he tries not to let it get to him. He holds his head high and pushes forward, and knows they’ll all regret thinking he was only some soft frail thing.

2+ TROPES: –– Genius Ditz: Everyone knows that Lark is a little slow on the uptake. Not the brightest crayon in the box, the sharpest tool in the shed. When it comes to cars, however, Lark is just about the smartest guy you can find. Cars seem to make sense in a way that few other things do, with their parts carefully put together. They’re things of beauty, and Lark has always loved beautiful things. –– Beware the Nice Ones: Sweet, gentle, polite. A long fuse, rarely driven to anger. Lark is skilled at staying cordial and kind in any number of stressful situations. Perhaps only witnessed once before, however, his temper flares up like a volcano when you push him hard enough.

1+ PLOT IDEAS: –– O Brother, Where Art Thou?: Jordie’s disappearance will always haunt Lark. He’ll have always sat and watched while a strange man stole his brother. He’ll always feel that absence. For so long, he really did believe it was a monster. The Bogeyman. But he knows better now, knows that there’s no such thing as monsters like that. That doesn’t mean he isn’t scared of it, though. Thoughts of Jordie, and whoever or whatever took him, are the thing that can make Lark freeze up quicker than anything. He hopes, someday, to know what happened to him, to finally get closure. –– Friends without Benefits: Is there anything softer than staying friends with the boy you dated in High School? Strictly friends, because you realised after a few quick months that this relationship was going nowhere fast, that all you really wanted to do was keep each other, not necessarily in a romantic way. But the familiarity never fades, like an emotional comfort blanket. Someone you know will always look out for you, always have your back. Lark is a loyal little thing, and he doesn’t let go easily.

EXTRAS:

( aesthetic moodboard )

EXTRA HEADCANONS: –– Lark drives a baby pink tesla that his parents bought for him when he got his drivers license. The car is his pride and joy, something he loves more than any other thing he owns. When he was in High School, he loved nothing more than driving his friends around with him, going to the movies or down the small roads on the outskirts of town. –– Lark is a nervous eater. He’s usually carrying around some kind of candy to pull out when he wants it. Anything from bubble gum, to lollypops, to chocolate bars. –– He has a tattoo on his right wrist. Two tiny little birds, simplistic and small. ( x )

#sample application #the ditz

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call-me-rucy · 6 years ago

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Quiz results: Your LMJ theories!

Hi, everyone!

As you may know, I did a poll two days ago about what do you all think about the ongoing mysteries on the LMJ game and the anime, and now, it’s time I publish the results!

I published this poll here in Tumblr, in a couple of Discord servers and on Twitter, and I got 52 answers!! WOW! I’m so happy! Thanks to all the people that answered and rebloged!

(How this works: Questions and most voted answers are in bold, answers that I had not included as options are in italics and my coments go (between parenthesis). I did not include all the answers because it’s already really long as it is.)

HOW LONG HAS HERSHEL BEEN MISSING? 52 ANSWERS

A few months- 30.8% Around a year- 23.1% Around 10 years- 23.1%

(Warning: this gets long)

IS THE “SUSPICIOUS LAYTON THAT COVERS HIS EYES” THE REAL LAYTON? 51 ANSWERS

Yes- 60.8% No- 37.3% I have no idea- 2% (1 vote)

IS “ANIME OPENING LUKE” THE REAL LUKE? 51 ANSWERS

Yes- 86.3% No- 9.8% (5 votes) Too little information to know- 2% (1 vote) god i hope so- 2% (1 vote) (We all do, we all do...)

WHERE IS THE REAL HERSHEL LAYTON NOW? 52 ANSWERS

The comissioner knows where- 46.2% With Luke- 38.5% With a character already seen in the original games- 25% In a place already seen in the original games- 15.4%

With Carmen Sandiego (Ehh... who??) Unknown, but we’ll find out. (I hope so!!)

WHY DID HE DISAPPEAR? 52 ANSWERS

Investigating something on his own- 63.5% (Kind of selfish of him, investigating alone...) He is in a secret dangerous mission- 53.8% Luke asked for help- 26.9% Someone asked for help- 23.1% He is running away from someone/something- 19.2% (O.O Poor Professor!)

He is a bad dad. It’s an enigma. (Yes, it is.) whatever it is he left for a good reason... it's not like him to just suddenly leave (I know, right? T.T) He accidentally somehow got stuck in the Ace attorney universe FREE HIM (Free! Him!) He is with his secret lover. Got lost in a grocery shop (Help! Him!)

WHO IS KAT? 51 ANSWERS

Her biological origin is not important- 27.5% Luke’s biological daughter- 19.6% Sycamore’s biological daughter- 15.7% That baby in Azran Legacy credits- 9.8% Layton’s biological daughter- 7.8%

Adopted, parents unknown (2 votes) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (2 votes) The greatest detective in the world (Indeed.) Emmy’s sister or related to Hastings Daughter of an ex-Targent agent

WHAT IS HER “SECRET”? 47 ANSWERS

Who her real parents are- 68.1% Her parents wer killed by Clive’s fortress- 14.9% She can talk to all animals, not only Sherl- 10.6%

She’s Claire’s and Hershel’s daughter It’s a secret (Don’t you say?) Her mother

WHAT ABOUT SHERL? 51 ANSWER

His memories are important to the plot- 68.6% He is one of the experimental subjects of UF- 37.3% Luke is involved in the talking thing- 35.3% He was a human (not Hershel)-19.6% (We still have to see how to change a human into a dog, but, we’ve seen strangest things in Layton’s universe.) He is Hershel- 9.8%

He is Des. (3 votes) Either Hershel or Des. why does he exist... and how I believe Sherl May be Clive, although this is more of a crack theory and me wanting clive to come back. He was there (as a puppy perhaps, if in dog form) the day the mobile fortress collapsed. I also think he might have once been human -- I just don't think he's Hershel. He is someone else,but not Hershel,maybe... Clive?XD Or Subject 4

ANYTHING ELSE? 14 ANSWERS

There's no way they'll declare this in canon, but I am rapidly becoming a believer in aroace Kat, whose one true love is dessert. :)

Hopefully we'll figure this all out soon. (I hope that too ^^)

THESE WERE GOOD RUCY GOOD JOB AM IMPRESSED (Oh wow, thank you so much!!!!)

WANGJANGLE (????)

I don't feel so good, professah.... (IW feelings are still too recent T.T You’re cruel answerer no22)

I AM NOT READY (We never are...)

I hope that something big happens that completely changes our view on the professor, making him less ‘flawless’. I might be still missing the chance of an evil layton, but like still. That man was made as a ‘perfect’ Phoenix Wright I think it’s time for him to eff up some shit.

Who put the "kat's parents were killed in the london incident" im gonna square up in a denny's parking lot (It’s 7vs1, you’ll see how it goes...)

We won't know some of the most important things. #ALFENDI4ANIME

Alfendi is not biological son of Hershel. Because COME ON, why that nice guy like Hershel has that crazy... Child? Maybe Descole has SON,not daughter?

#LONG #long post #This took ages to make but I'm proud #52! people!#Professor Layton #Katrielle Layton #LMJ #laytons mystery journey #LMDA #laytons mystery detective agengy #layton anime

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notgonnarememberthis · 8 years ago

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The Lying Angel - Chapter 2

The reception of this fic was so wonderful! Thank you guys so much! I plan on writing this fic to completion but I have no prediction of how long it will be just yet. Just stick with me and we’ll see where this road takes us! Enjoy!

The cab ride was eerily silent besides the incessant tapping of the sole of Sherlock’s shoe as he bounced his leg. It was like that the entire way to the airport where apparently Dylan had a plane waiting. Sherlock made quite a show of taking an opposite end of the plane as the two women made their way into the cockpit. Joan sits herself in the copilot’s seat securing all of the necessary equipment on herself.

“Still remember how to fly?” Dylan teases lightly in an attempt to ease the tension in the air.

“Like riding a bike.” Joan quips back automatically. They fall into a steady rhythm setting up for flight. It was like they’d never separated…

“So… Who’s the guy?” Dylan’s flipped on autopilot spinning around to face her. Not good.

“He’s my co-worker.” A pointed look brings Joan to roll her eyes. “I met him a few months after I left. I became a sober companion and his father called me. Now we work as private investigators for the NYPD.”

“You’ve never liked local police.”

“Marcus and Gregson are different. They’re good.”

“And who are they?” Joan glares at the woman.

“Oh come on! Far as I know, you’re the only angel not in a relationship. I gotta maintain some of my sanity in this whole mess.” Dylan frowns.

“You’re in a steady relationship with someone who’s not a bad guy?” She smirks.

“Turns out all I needed was a good girl to balance it out.” Her head snaps around quickly staring at the redhead next to her.

“How long?”

“About 2 years now. I met her while on a case in Hawaii. She moved to Washington when she got put on witness protection. Guess we had something in common.” The smile on her lips is brighter than Joan’s seen in awhile. She reaches over squeezing her friend’s hand.

“I’m happy for you Dylan. I hope I get to meet her.”

“I hope so.” She grins. “Cause now that I’ve found you, I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”

“I count on it.” Joan laughs. Dylan sighs shifting in her seat uncomfortably. She knows what’s coming. “No.”

“Alex… We need to talk about what happened.”

“No we don’t.” She insists.

“It’s not your fault.”

“We’re not talking about this.” Joan pushes.

“Why are you pushing me away again? It’s been five years.”

“I’m not talking about this now.” She sighs pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes trying to will the image away.

“Does he know?”

“Barely.” Joan sighs. “He thinks I was a surgeon. I already had my medical license so it wasn’t hard to keep up with the lie.”

“I mean your dad did for how long?”

“Seven years.” She smiles slightly at the memory. “Sherlock couldn’t know what I did. I didn’t want him ever to. That’s why I used an alias for my name. I created Alex so the people around me wouldn’t get hurt because of me. Now look where we are.”

“You should really talk to him.”

“And say what?” She scoffs. “I’m sorry I’ve known you for five years and you had no idea I was an American spy for a guy whose face I’ve never seen. I’m sorry I let you believe you were teaching me how to defend myself when I know seven different ways how to kill a man with nothing more than a paperclip and a piece of string.”

“Hey you have to admit that was a fun op.” Dylan laughs for a second. “I see what you mean though.”

“Sherlock isn’t the same as anyone else. His ex kind of turned out to be a crazy murderer he was hunting for nearly a year. He discovered this years after she faked her own murder.”

“Whoa.”

“I’ve ruined it all.”

“Joan… go talk to him. It’ll be rough but he cares about you. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been that hurt by the truth.”

“Don’t call me Joan. That’s weird.” Dylan laughs shortly. “You can still call me Alex.”

“Okay Alex. Go.”

“Thanks…”

“Anytime.”

She finds Sherlock sitting at the back of the plan computer opened in front of him, no doubt with hundreds of articles opened being read in less than five seconds each. He hears her approaching, she can see it in the twitch of his muscles. Not sure whether to remain still or to run. Joan takes the place across from him. His eyes flicker up to her with doubt filling them.

“What do you want to know?” This catches his attention. He closes his laptop meeting her eyes now.

“Why?”

“I didn’t want anyone to be hurt. The only time I was Alex was around Dylan, Nat, and a few choice boyfriends I met on assignments.”

“I could’ve handled it.”

“I couldn’t.” He frowns in confusion now. “I did kill that man. He didn’t die on my table though. Nat and Dylan were chasing down a man that had planned an attack on a senator. I was guarding him… I spotted the man and he was about to take the shot. So I took mine… I missed.”

“Watson…”

“I hit a civilian. He was just walking to work, that’s it. Completely innocent and I killed him.”

“Joan.”

“You have every right to be angry Sherlock. I hope you’ll forgive me one day.” She whispers just barely loud enough for him to hear.

He shifts in his seat uncomfortably, not fond of emotional moments. “I am angry. I thought you trusted me as I do you.” She could feel his eyes on her, analyzing her. It’s painful but she deserves it. “I wish you’d have told me sooner rather than finding out this way.” He grabs her hand snatching her eyes to his once more when she could no longer take the disappointment filling them. “I only wish for you to be honest with me Watson. We are partners are we not?”

“We are.”

“Very well. Now I would like to hear about the time some mysterious women saved Mount Rushmore.” He says with a raised eyebrow. A tiny smile etches at her lips. It wasn’t forgiveness. Not yet. Rather a desire to learn more. To learn the truth.

“As you wish.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They landed in a field somewhere in Georgia. The landing strip was relatively abandoned amongst the expanse of plants around them aside from a lonesome building at the edge of it.

“I’ve got a car waiting for us inside the garage. Follow me.” Dylan explains leading the way. The silence was more comfortable than before but still unbearing. Dread mixed with a little bit of fear filled both of the women as they inched closer to the city.

Joan spies the blonde as they pull up on the street. She’s standing outside alone with her arms wrapped around herself in some way of self protection. She has to keep herself from launching out of the car as soon as they slow down. Once she’s positive they’ve come to a stop she’s running out to comfort her friend.

“Nat.” She whispers wrapping her in a fierce hug.

“Alex.” The other woman mumbles back burying her face in her shoulder. As she pulls back she can see Natalie’s eyes are red rimmed from tears, her nose bright against the sun as well.

“Where’s Pete?”

“Inside talking to his parents. I insisted that he go and stay with them until we’re sure it’s safe.” She nods understanding. Suddenly the woman’s eyes grow hard and her stance defensive as her gaze falls behind her. “Who’s that?”

She spins around and sure enough Sherlock is already combing through the yard looking for evidence of footprints or a struggle. Leave it to him not even to introduce himself. “That’s Sherlock Holmes. He’s my partner.”

“Partner?” Natalie’s eyes go wide before falling to her hands.

“Not like that.”

“Mhm.” Dylan hums from behind her earning an elbow to the gut. “Ow. Play nice.”

“Wait.” Natalie freezes. “The Sherlock Holmes? Like best private investigator in New York Sherlock Holmes?”

“And Joan Watson.” Dylan teases bumping hips with her.

“You’re Joan Watson!?” Natalie laughs momentarily forgetting the situation at hand. “I should have figured one of the two best detectives in New York was my little miss overachiever.”

“Stop.” Joan mutters as her cheeks flush red. “We’re here to help however we can.”

“Right.” The joy disappears from her face as she leads them all inside. Pete is pacing in the kitchen on the phone and Natalie goes ahead and leads them up the stairs. The house looks relatively untouched. No pictures out of line, no empty spots where an item once was.

The creek of the door snaps Joan out of her thoughts as Natalie leads them to Charlie’s room. Joan takes her hand for support as she guides them inside. Surely enough the struggle is the most evident inside. The curtains are torn down in front of the open window, toys scattered across the floor. The only comfort she could find was that there was no evidence of blood anywhere.

The message written into the walls is even more ominous in person than the photos Dylan had shown her. As if instinctively, Sherlock passes her a pair of gloves and plastic bags. She’s not sure how much evidence they’ll find but it won’t hurt to try.

“Mrs…”

“Cook.”

“Ah yes. Mrs. Cook, did Charlie express worries about previous encounters with anyone? Someone may have come up to him in the street? Perhaps at school?”

“No. Nothing.”

“Did Charlie act strange before his disappearance?”

“No.” Their voices fade as Joan steps into the hall to investigate herself. As she’s making her way through she spies a set of photos on a desk at the far side of the room. Natalie has her arms wrapped around Charlie as they saddle a horse together. In another, Dylan has her arm wrapped around the back of a tanned woman with a wavy hair. Come and see us soon. -Dylan and Nomi, was inscribed into the frame. Next, a photo of herself from before they left sipping a cup of tea by the fireplace. A chill runs down her spine at the last photo, however. It was from they went to the beach with Bosley all those years ago. The three of them had their arms wrapped around each other with the sea in the background. However, their faces had been x-ed out. On the back of the frame was a message carved with a knife.

All the angels will fall and join us mortals in their descent.

#joanlock #joan x sherlock #joan watson #Sherlock Holmes #dylan saunders #alex munday #natalie cook #charlies angels au #kinda #slow burn #elementary #elementary cbs #elementary au

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gastricpierrot · 8 years ago

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Title: Flowers of Eden

Series: Tokyo Ghoul

Pairing: HideKane

Rating: T

Summary: They were children born of a mixed set of parents: one human, one ghoul. Raised and trained in the Sunlit Garden, they possessed strength that far surpassed that of normal people, as well as a lifespan that’s significantly shorter. Vibrant flowers that bloomed quick and wilted even quicker, if you must.

And among them were a certain half-ghoul and his half-human best friend; one who wanted freedom, and one who wanted to spark a revolution.

[Based on the Sunlit Garden HCs i posted really long ago]

Warning: contains slightly heavy themes

[Previous Chapter]

Also available on AO3

Hide twists a lock of hair between his fingers as he watches the news broadcast on the café television, now no longer as upset over how brittle it feels after having it bleached.

It’s been a month since they pulled off their escape from the Garden, and while he’s sure they’re still being hunted down like convicts on the loose, it’s been relatively peaceful so far. The CCG and Garden can’t exactly make a big issue out of finding them without raising some suspicions, and it’s not like they have the manpower to spare to carry out a nationwide search for two teenagers who look like any other out there. It’s all been taken into consideration when Hide was making his plans. There’s a reason why the first half-ghoul from the Garden hasn’t been found, and he knew how to exploit it.

Though really, there’s probably no need for him to go the extra mile to bleach his hair when he had it tidied up not long after things began quieting down and they could relax a little. His original brown hair would’ve made him less conspicuous in public, after all. Maybe he was just feeling a bit careless deep down, he didn’t know. Besides, bleached hair doesn’t seem to be the rarest thing around these days. Even he wants to do some things for himself sometimes.

“Hey, do you think ghouls really exist?” he hears the high-school student behind him whisper to his friend upon hearing the mention of an attack in the neighbouring Ward on the news. And do they, Hide finds himself musing as he gulps down the rest of his cappuccino before bringing the cup to the back of the store to clean it. He exchanges a quick greeting with the café manager when he later sees him outside, telling him he’ll be right down for his shift as soon as he gets changed.

The manager of Anteiku has done heaps aiding their escape from the Garden. An aged man by the name of Yoshimura, he’s the acquaintance Arima mentioned who would be able to hide them and keep them safe from the grasps of the CCG and the people actually behind the Garden—a mysterious organization called V. They’d miraculously managed to find the place where they were supposed to meet him in the sewers after what seemed to be an eternity of doubts and guesses once they realized they missed a turn at one point in the heat of excitement. Hide swears he’s never going back down there ever unless his or Kaneki’s life heavily depend on it. He’s never feared the dark as much as he had then.

Yoshimura had lead them through some doors, stairs, and more tunnels that seem to span kilometres upon kilometres. Then finally, just as Hide’s about to fail in suppressing a complaint, they stopped before a steel ladder not unlike many they’d already passed without as much as a glance. They climbed out of a hatch to find themselves in an empty giant warehouse of sorts, their footsteps echoing painfully loud throughout the silence.

They waited there for a few hours more until the sun set, Yoshimura offering them some food which they surprisingly had the appetite to scarf down despite all the adrenaline in the mean time. There was a long, long while of quietness; with the exhaustion gradually setting in, Yoshimura’s care to respect their privacy, and the inappropriateness of their location to discuss the one thing that’s no doubt weighing on Kaneki’s mind ever since Furuta opened his big mouth.

Hide had planned to tell him some time after their escape, don’t get him wrong. Okay—maybe still not the part about him having the compatibility to receive his kakuhou, but he was going to tell him about how he’s pretty much going to remain healthy for at least another five years. Furuta’s timing only made a huge mess and if Hide isn’t so intent in breaking all connections he has to the Garden he’d waltz right back in just to smack that shitty smirk of his face. And to think someone like him is going to leave that place one day to become a full-fledged Ghoul Investigator; what a load of bull. He figures he’d be the first to leave Tokyo if staying means having his personal safety placed under the responsibility of someone like Furuta had he been a normal civilian.

At any rate, they were later driven somewhere even further away by a middle-aged guy Yoshimura simply introduced as Yomo, and it’s only after a car ride that lasted half the night that they reached the café that would from then serve as their refuge. As embarrassing as it was, Hide barely had the energy left to ask questions at that point. They’d come this far anyway; it’s already too late to doubt the old man. All he needed was Yoshimura’s assurance that they’ll be safe there, and he’d conked out the moment his head touched the mattress of the bed assigned to them.

They’ve been there ever since, making the guest rooms above Anteiku their home. They kept a low profile for the first two weeks, only going down to help out before and after opening hours to stretch their legs by the end of the second week. They wore disguises when they finally dared leave to explore the streets; opting for masks and hats that are fortunately not bound to be out of fashion soon. And even then they could not always shake the feeling that they’re being watched or followed by undercover V agents commanded to track them down. Common sense told Hide that blending in was the best option they have, but paranoia told him otherwise. Every person who stared at them a moment longer made their hearts race, every trip back to Yoshimura’s place involved taking wild detours above low buildings and over wire fences. It took a bit of work for them to finally let their guard down enough to not feel like every venture outside was like threading on thin ice.

Kaneki’s already in uniform by the time Hide enters the room they shared, glancing away from the mirror in the middle of adjusting his collar when he hears him. It’s just recently that one of Yoshimura’s employees—a nice young lady called Irimi—suggested for them to work evening shifts at Anteiku. That way, they can pass time easier and earn some extra pocket money (and not freeload!) while minimizing suspicion from their customers. It’s apparently rather common for students their age to be working part time jobs after school despite it being banned by most educational institutions.

Needless to say, it’s been quite a ride since they started the job. They’ve been meeting new people, learning new things. Experiencing a life that doesn’t merely involve fighting and bloodshed.

“You’ve got a cowlick at the back of your head, Kaneki,” Hide points out with amusement as he closes the door behind him. His smile widens when Kaneki responds with a defeated sigh.

“I know, I’ve been trying to get rid of it for almost thirty minutes,” he laments, reaching to pat his hand over the offending lock of hair. “Maybe I shouldn’t have sat like that for so long after all.”

“Oh, don’t worry—I’m sure the ladies would still find you cute!” Hide assures with a chuckle, pulling on his work pants. His heart flutters when he sees the reddish tint dusting across Kaneki’s cheeks.

“T-That’s not the issue here,” Kaneki protests, not meeting his eyes as he walks past him and towards the door. “It’s only proper work etiquette to look tidy during shifts to preserve the image of the workplace and—“

“No offense, Kaneki, but,” Hide interrupts, glancing over his shoulder while he shrugs on a fresh shirt, “you don’t happen to have a thing against being seen as cute by girls, do you?”

“Just hurry up before you’re late, Hide!” And Kaneki leaves.

Hide exhales, another smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It’s been interesting, watching the slow changes in Kaneki’s demeanour ever since they ran away. It hadn’t been easy for him to accept that they’ve thrown away Hide’s only chance of extending his lifespan, even with all of Hide’s reasoning. In fact, Kaneki still hasn’t, not completely. He doesn’t think he ever will. Kaneki’s been aware of the price the half-human children of the Garden have to pay for their strength since day one, but knowing he’s done something that’s prevented Hide from changing his fate seems to have triggered a whole new wave of guilt and paranoia. There are still nights when Hide would be startled awake by his best friend’s insistent shakes of his shoulders because he’s suddenly seized by the irrational fear that he’ll no longer open his eyes. There are still times when Kaneki looks at him as though he might disappear at any moment.

Hide will die young. That’s a fact that can no longer be changed. But he intends to make sure that even after he leaves, Kaneki won’t be alone. That Kaneki would have the support and reason to keep living even after he’s gone. Staying and working here at Anteiku seems to be an effective step forward; he can see that Kaneki genuinely enjoys himself in his job, despite how subtly he shows it. He’s a fast learner so the blunders from his first day he’d been anxious about never did make a reappearance. He’s gotten really good at latte art and brewing coffee as well. Even the air he carries around him is slightly different when he’s working.

Perhaps the knowledge of Anteiku being a place of sanctuary to so many others plays a part in this gradual change. Kaneki had gripped Hide’s hand tight the moment they entered Yomo’s car the other day, apparently detecting a scent Hide hardly noticed. And blood, Kaneki had mouthed at him when all he did in response was blink in confusion. The car smelled like blood. Yoshimura did not miss as much as a beat then, telling them straight off that that’s indeed the smell of blood because of an accident with a corpse once.

Besides them, Anteiku is also a sanctuary for ghouls.

More specifically, it’s a place for ghouls who are peaceful, who are either unwilling or unable to hunt for themselves. Apart from being a café where both humans and ghouls mingle, it’s also a place that provides the latter with the flesh of corpses collected from a popular suicide site at the outskirts of town. Twice every week, someone from Anteiku would drive the very same car Yomo used to transport freshly collected dead bodies, Yoshimura told them. It’s because there’s a place like Anteiku that the 20th Ward in Tokyo is one of the most quiet ones out there when it comes to violent ghoul activity.

It… wasn’t exactly easy to digest at first. Despite their recently uncertainties, the belief that all ghouls are monsters that should be eradicated is still deeply ingrained into their mentality. Being there among possibly so many who are unaggressive, who are willing to feed only on humans who’ve given up on their own lives—it certainly gives one a whole new perspective. While Hide has personally never really thought of orders as being anything beyond orders, let alone whether or not they’re mistakes, he knows Kaneki’s different. He’s prone to being influenced by what he finds right or wrong; a trait of his that’s brought forth enough complications for himself despite giving him a certain compassion Hide lacks towards anyone apart from his best friend. Kaneki spoke of making changes when they talked about their escape. If there’s a place to start on it, Anteiku might just be the best one.

Hide can’t help wondering how much of Kaneki’s legacy he’ll be able to see him build while he’s still around.

He finishes fixing the buttons of his sleeves, and makes his way downstairs for another evening of work.

xXx

If he had a choice between living in constant pain or in constant fear, Kaneki thinks he might actually go for the former.

The stress of it all is almost impossible to bear. Going outside eventually stopped being an issue; he no longer had to spend fifteen minutes steeling himself before walking out into the streets and no longer jolted at every contact he makes with strangers or poles or walls. Suspicious individuals have stopped visiting Anteiku and they’ve stopped needing to make quick escapes through their room window on the second floor. Taking adventurous detours on the way back feels more like a habit than a precaution now. In fact, he’s even warming up to some regulars at the café; being able to exchange a word or two of conversation with them as he takes their orders.

It’s the fear and guilt towards Hide’s impending death that’s really gnawing at him.

Kaneki spends almost every night haunted by thoughts of finding Hide lying cold and still beside him the next morning and knowing he’s half at fault that he’s going to lose his closest friend. Even though deep down he too, knows that a surgery with only a fifty percent success rate is a big gamble and that Hide’s decision makes much more sense that it seemed to him initially. If Hide leaves him in this all-new world they’ve found together, Kaneki honestly doesn’t know what he’ll do. It’s too scary to imagine. It’s too scary to imagine a world without Hide.

It gets so terrible on some nights that it’s hard to even breathe. He would try and try and try his best to fight it, to not let panic overwhelm him and send him into shaking, gasping fits by curling into a ball, digging his nails into his palms, biting his lip. But he’d still end up waking him because it’s too much; he had to make sure. Though Hide, being Hide, would never complain as he helps soothe him with his assuring voice and soft touches. Sometimes they’d simply end up staying awake in silence for the rest of the night, each other’s company being all they need. Sometimes Hide would let him press his ear against his chest once he’s calmed down enough to breathe properly so he could listen to the steady badump, badump, badump of his heart. It’s okay, he’s alive. He’ll be here, he’s not going anywhere.

And as the shadows under his eyes grew more and more prominent, Kaneki had something new to hate himself over.

At least he’s too occupied during daytimes to dwell as much upon the matter as he does at night. He spends his mornings either napping lightly to attempt making up for fitful nights, reading the Manager’s vast collection of books he’s free to borrow, helping in the kitchen of the café, or simply wandering around the area with Hide. It’s a huge contrast to their lives back in the Garden, not having to adhere to a strict schedule that barely grants them time for themselves. Besides reading (which, was a given), Kaneki finds himself enjoying his walks outside with Hide the most. They would occasionally go further into town to admire creative shop facades and peer through display windows, sometimes even deciding to spend a bit of their salary on foods they’ve never seen before. Kaneki especially loves watching Hide as he gets excited over new things; the way his eyes sparkle and his features light up at beautifully decorated cakes, articles of clothing that suit his aesthetics, or even when he hears a song he particularly likes. Even with the exhaustion from countless sleepless nights, he seems more radiant now that he’s away from constant surveillance. There’s no longer a need for him to think about what implications every action might bring.

Kaneki can’t help wondering how many more of such faces would he be able to see if the current human-ghoul conflict could ever be solved, if peaceful coexistence could ever be achieved. How many others are there out there who would give anything just to be given the chance they have then? How many children are begging their guardians in vain to stay a bit longer just to have a better look at the toys they’d seen from windows? How many teens and adults have grown up with barely a chance to be so carefree because they’re unwillingly involved with CCG’s targets or are targets themselves?

Coexistence… huh? Perhaps this is also what Arima quietly wanted when he decided to help them. If there’d been no need to fight, the Garden and its children would not have to exist. Not every problem in the world will be solved, but the main one in theirs would, to the very least. And that’s enough. That should be enough to repay him for everything he’s risked and done for them.

“Kaneki!”

Kaneki looks up to see Hide hurrying towards him, a paper bag in his arms and a smile on his face. He waits as Hide then stops to dig into the bag, fishing out a loosely wrapped piece of fish-shaped pastry. Taiyaki, the menu behind the counter labels it. It smells wonderful.

“Is it worth the long queue?” Hide asks, watching him take his first bite, eyes wide and bright with anticipation. Kaneki chews slowly, savouring the complimenting taste of cooked batter and sweet red bean paste before swallowing. It tastes like nothing he’s ever had before. With a smile of his own, he nods to his best friend’s question.

And then Hide just proceeds to take a huge bite out of his own piece of taiyaki, apparently completely forgetting that it’s fresh off the stove and immediately burning his tongue. That doesn’t seem to upset him too much though, with the suspicious upturn of the corner of his lips when Kaneki frets over him. Despite his efforts, Kaneki isn’t able to stamp down his own tingle of amusement that follows a bloom of pleasant warmth in his heart. Some things just don’t change, do they?

“Let’s go to that place with crepes next, Kaneki!” Hide suggests once he’s able to finish unceremoniously wolfing down the rest of his food, already tugging at his sleeve with his free hand. Kaneki breathes a soft, fond sigh.

“We won’t be able to eat dinner at this rate, Hide,” he tries to reason even though he makes no attempt to stop him. Hide merely grins at him over his shoulder.

“That’s the whole point!” he says cheerily, marching straight on. “When’s the last time we skipped a meal because we had too many snacks?”

It’d be great if days like this wouldn’t come to an end, wouldn’t it?

xXx

Time slips by without them noticing, eventually.

Days turn to months, and months turn to years. All in a new, comfortable schedule. Sleep, rise, eat, read, talk, work, repeat. Amongst their continual schedules, they talk. Over a lot of things: the prospect of moving out, entering college, finding more substantial jobs in the future. And in Kaneki’s case, of what they can do to bring changes. Discussing about the last one seems to help reduce the occurrence of Kaneki’s nightly attacks a bit, Hide eventually comes to notice. Or perhaps time has helped as well, by slowly convincing him that he’ll live yet another day. At any rate, having a goal to work toward keeps Kaneki distracted enough to occasionally forget about Hide’s unavoidable short life, enough to grant him more hours of uninterrupted sleep.

It helps Hide forget, too.

A few months after they began staying under Yoshimura’s roof, they managed to obtain faux identities through the café manager’s many connections. They were allowed to pick their own names before that, and while having the proper documents would no doubt open a lot of doors for them, it was still a pretty depressing process. With each stroke to complete the characters of their chosen names on paper, they’re erasing more and more of who they were, who they have been for the past fifteen years. Once everything has settled, they would no longer be Kaneki Ken and Nagachika Hideyoshi except to each other and the records of a far-off facility. Once everything has settled, they’d have discarded their unknown identities for another, for the future.

Five years have passed since then. They’re twenty years old now, and fortunately still free from the clutches of V and the CCG. From the looks of it, they should probably have given up on them by now. Hide sure hopes so. If he comes this far just to be abducted in some alley and dragged back to the Garden, he might blow a fuse. He doesn’t blame them for being persistent—but to this degree? Even the search for the previous half-ghoul child didn’t last this long. They shouldn’t have the budget and manpower to keep it up for so many years, Hide’s confident. He’s told himself that over and over and over.

But the anxiety of being recognized persists. It takes too little for their lives to be turned upside down once more; a stranger with a good memory who swears they’d seen them somewhere before, a researcher who happens to bump into them on his day off in the 20th Ward, a child from the Garden who’s grown old enough to officially leave the place and join a squad coincidentally based in the town where they’re at. Hide has considered moving even further away to another prefecture once they’ve saved up enough, but with what Kaneki’s planning to do, it doesn’t seem to be possible for at least another five-six years. And if Kaneki isn’t leaving, then neither is he.

So they stay, only going as far as moving out into a modest apartment a bit away from Anteiku. It marks the beginning and also the end of a few things. Now that Kaneki has learnt and seen enough to have a good grasp of how the ghoul and human worlds interact, and now that whatever they do will not likely be traced back into the safe havens of Yoshimura’s café, Kaneki’s decided to take action. To begin earning himself a voice, a name, a reputation. To make the changes he’s longed to make in order to finally repay the debt he thinks he owes to the CCG’s current God of Death.

It’s a treacherous path that will involve the violence they’d so ran away from the first time. Kaneki would have to prove his strength, prove that he’s someone worth listening to. And for that he’d have to abandon the peaceful days they’d so desperately obtained and fight.

Of course, “fight” does not mean just plain brainless brawling—both Hide and Kaneki are pretty confident in their intelligence to fight intellectually as well. There’ll be lots of negotiations with other parties, lots of other ways to compel others to consider their wishes. What Kaneki intends to do isn’t a full-blown revolution, but to simply spark one because they know such drastic changes in society might take decades, even generations. Hide honestly didn’t expect the stubborn Kaneki to take heed of his words, but he seems to have eventually accepted that there’s only so much they can do as who they are, as two runaway hybrid children from the Sunlit Garden.

But they’ll do whatever they can, they best they can.

The first time Hide sets foot into the CCG’s branch office in the 20th Ward, it takes all his focus to keep his knees from buckling with the shivering of his legs. The only base he has to the assumption that there’s no record of him as a Garden escapee is the knowledge that the Sunlit Garden is a top secret project not many should know about. The CCG staff might’ve heard about it through the few graduates assigned to branches here and there, but they shouldn’t know who are the individuals raised in the institution itself. Besides, Hide’s name and appearance has changed over the years. He shouldn’t be that easily recognized anymore.

He really hopes he isn’t that easily recognized.

Information is the one of the strongest weapons one can have, they were reminded by a certain bartender once, and Hide can’t deny that. Once you obtain sufficient facts, there’s an abundance of ways you can use them to your advantage; be it to manipulate, to blackmail, or to withhold and trade. With information comes power, which is why Hide has came to a final decision to saunter back into the midst of the CCG as a part-timer. People tend to let their guard down in their own workplaces, so he figured it’d be a good place to start gathering information from chatty (or drunk, if he could get close enough) employees. They mustn’t rush this. Everything starts from the bottom, they just have to persist in climbing their way up.

In the mean time, Kaneki pursues the coarser route; that is going around finding and meeting ghoul leaders in neighbouring Wards. He’s strong, Hide doesn’t doubt, but he still can’t help but worry every morning they part ways to carry out their own part of the mission they’ve both decided to uptake. Ghouls commonly respect strength, but even a half-ghoul trained in the Garden might not be match for a full-fledged ghoul who’s spent at least a decade or two fighting to earn and maintain the title of a leader when it comes to it. Which is why it’s important for Kaneki to find allies first; peaceful and influential ghoul groups — like the Tsukiyama family—if they could before they begin moving on to ones that are more difficult to handle.

It’s almost ironic, how what Hide always thought as Kaneki’s biggest curse has now turned out to be his biggest asset. No one would bother listening to a random kid waltzing into their territory and suggesting a cooperation to bring coexistence. But Kaneki isn’t simply a “random kid”. He’s a one-eyed ghoul.

And a legend among ghouls says a one-eyed “King” will bring forth a revolution.

Really, it starts sounding as if they’re part of this dramatic young adult novel at some point, much to Hide’s bemusement. Only sadly, it’s all very real, as are the risks they both face daily. That’s one thing neither of them can forget.

“I swear, if you leave before me,” Hide says one night as he squeezes Kaneki’s hands between his own, his gaze darting from the startling strands of white in the other boy’s hair to the knit on his brow before finally settling on those grey, grey eyes, “I’ll never forgive you, Kaneki. I’ll even drag you back from the River myself if I have to!”

The conversation is what followed a sombre recollection of a fight Kaneki barely won earlier in the day, one that gained him all but some grudging support from a gang in the 16th Ward. Being injured to the point where even his regeneration almost couldn’t fix him, Kaneki’s extremely fortunate to not have gone alone this time. Even after eating some human meat from Anteiku, Kaneki still sports bandages along his arms and torso. Hide once thought he’d be prepared to see his best friend in this state, knowing the nature of his efforts towards his goals. He’s never been this mistaken.

“I won’t, Hide,” Kaneki promises gently, though Hide seems to hear a quaver of…something beneath his calm tone. “I’m sorry for making you worry.”

Hide heaves a loud, heavy sigh. He releases his hands to trail his fingers across Kaneki’s arm. “Do they still hurt?”

Kaneki shakes his head. “I should be able to take them off next morning.”

“Alright. That’s great,” Hide huffs, letting his hand fall back to his side. He tries to stamp down his agitation, to calm the spike of fear he felt in his heart the second he found out how close to dying Kaneki had been—but it’s frustratingly difficult. Can they really keep this up? Can he really get used to letting the most important person of his world willingly expose himself to this kind of danger each day?

He notices the way Kaneki looks at him then; the underlying tentativeness and concern in his eyes. And then he remembers, and he realizes how unfair he must’ve sounded back there. Kaneki can still somewhat control the circumstances on whether he’ll live to see another day. Hide can’t. The fact that Kaneki might wake up or come home to find Hide’s body cold and motionless at any random day remains unchanged.

There are no signs, and that only makes the tension worse. As morbid as it is, at least they can both brace themselves for the end if Hide has signs of his health deteriorating and such. But there’s none. All they have is a ceaselessly daunting One Day. One Day where Hide would never open his eyes again.

“Ah, by the way, Kaneki,” Hide turns away, moving for his backpack on the floor. They mustn’t dwell on it, mustn’t dwell on it. “I think I found out something pretty interesting about something in the CCG today. Did you know that the RC detector gates are actually programmed to let certain people through?”

They won’t be able to continue otherwise.

xXx

They do forge on, regardless of the many hindrances that seem to insist getting in their way.

The alias “Eyepatch” gradually becomes more renowned across the Wards of Tokyo, with Kaneki’s efforts. The mysterious ghoul dressed in black from mask to shoes who appeared out of nowhere and yet still somehow managed to become chummy with the young heir to the Tsukiyama group, the healer ghoul Banjou from the 11th Ward and impossibly, even Shachi from the 6th Ward. Some say he’s a cheat, a liar because there’s no way a single ghoul no one’s heard of until then would be able to pull off the feats he had. Some say he’s just insanely strong and frighteningly intelligent. Some sought to join his cause. Some revered him. Some feared him.

Many saw him as a nuisance who’s only making things worse.

But with his reputation, they knew they would not stand a chance against him in combat. Not fairly, at least. So they tried looking for a weakness, a handful of them eventually managing to discover that Eyepatch might, in fact, have an Achilles heel in the form of a blond young man whom he seems to spend a lot of time with outside his ghoul life. They were often spotted together on the streets, shopping for groceries, and sometimes even just hanging around at a park.

They tried exploiting this, of course. Only there was a tiny issue: the blond guy rarely ever leaves the CCG branch building because he apparently works there as a pathetic part-timer. Sometimes he even tags along with Doves as they hurry out of the building with their Quinque at the ready, obviously heading towards a scene. And for those who do manage to time their assaults right in the end, they never did turn up again until a few days later; their corpses found to be marked with precise, fatal wounds too cleanly inflicted to be done by the natural form of kagune.

After the third time, Hide finally decided to just throw his stained clothes away instead of trying to wash them.

They both work hard, trying to form the bases for the seams that would hopefully one day close the century-long rift between ghouls and humans. Or, at the barest minimum, bases that would one day lead to actions bringing justice to people like themselves; children who were born into the world just to be used and discarded once they’ve reached their due date. While Kaneki does his thing with the ghouls, Hide charms and impresses his way into the heart of the CCG—still, through some miracle Kaneki didn’t know existed, remaining unidentified as a former orphan from the Sunlit Garden despite the incident with the RC detector gates the day he went to submit his application. He’s just recently been promoted from being a simple errand boy to an Investigator Assistant, and he’s been attracting the attention of one of the Commission’s most prominent investigators. With enough luck and time, they could gain another valuable ally.

“Aren’t you worried about your friend?” Banjou asks once as they sat together discussing a plan they were working on to go against the Madams, a group of rich, mostly antagonistic ghouls who have nothing better to do with their money than spend them on gory dismantling shows starring captured humans and fellow ghouls alike. “No offense, though.”

Kaneki shakes his head, catching himself restraining the fond, weary smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the mention of Hide from one of his ghoul comrades. He keeps his gaze trained on the scribbled-covered paper on the low table before him, trying to think as he talks. “Frankly, I think Hide’s got it worse when it comes to the worrying.”

“He must have a lot of faith in you, huh? To watch you go out doing all these crazy things every day and still trust that you’ll come back,” Banjou marvels, absently stroking his creatively shaved beard. This time, Kaneki does face him.

“Didn’t you hear him brag all about it the other day when you guys met? The things he’s doing aren’t all that less crazy,” Kaneki reminds him wryly. At that, Banjou frowns.

“Well, yeah, but still—“

“We get used to it, I suppose,” Kaneki says before he can finish, picking up a pencil to make some amendments to the part of their notes that suddenly caught his eye. With several sharp strokes, he crosses out “complete elimination” and jots down a “seeding??” in the line spacing above it. “We don’t know how much time can we afford to spare being afraid, after all,” he murmurs the last part, almost subconsciously.

Banjou stares thoughtfully at the corner of their paper, saying nothing to that. Their silence stretches on for a few minutes until Kaneki speaks again. “Say, Banjou-san?”

Banjou quirks an eyebrow at him. “Yeah?”

“Hypothetically—and I mean hypothetically,” Kaneki begins, glancing up at the older man, “who do you think would be best to lead all these if I were to step out?”

“You’re thinking of stepping out?” Banjou’s eyes widen in alarm. Kaneki straightens in his seat, letting his pencil roll from his fingers as he shrugs one shoulder slightly.

“I can’t be doing this forever,” is all he says. He pretends not to see the suspicious look Banjou proceeds to give him. “And it’s just a “what-if”, Banjou-san.”

Banjou takes a moment to mull over his reply. “Unless some guy as hardcore as you shows up soon,” he starts carefully, still eyeing him with suspicion, “there’s no one who can do the job the way you do, Sasaki. It’s because you’ve made it so that it involves collective understanding and effort, if you ask me.”

“I see.” Kaneki smiles, feeling his chest lighten a little. That’s great. Even if he isn’t around, this struggle he’s started will go on. Even without him, they’re going to be okay.

Even without him, the revolution will continue.

“You really aren’t considering quitting this soon, are you?” Banjou persists, this time with a hint of concern in his voice. Kaneki moves to stand, using the short intermission to ensure there’s nothing in his features that would give anything away.

“Don’t worry, I’ll at least finish seeing this mission through first,” he says, letting out a small laugh in an attempt to dispel the sudden graveness in the air when Banjou’s expression remains unchanged. While he claims not to be all that great in the IQ department, Banjou’s incredibly perceptive towards others’ emotions. Even if he himself does not realize it, that’s probably the main reason why his followers chose him as their leader. It’s not everywhere you can find one who truly cares in the world of ghouls.

“Sasaki—“

“I’m sorry, Banjou-san, but it’s about time for me to check with Tsukiyama-san about our disguises,” Kaneki interrupts before the conversation could drag on. It’s not like he would change his mind anyway; there’s no need for them to waste more time. “Are you coming along?”

There’s no need for him to waver now.

xXx

He blinks awake from a dreamless sleep to the sensation of hair tickling his cheek, a warmth enveloped around his middle and legs.

Hide squints at the blue glow of their nightlight, groaning softly as his eyes sting from the illumination. It takes him a second to realize that Kaneki’s curled around him, holding on to him like how a child would hug a favourite bolster. His breathing is deep, undisturbed. He must be exhausted. Hide sighs, moving to gently brush his hair away from his face. His heart fills with warmth, the way it always does whenever he shares tender moments like this with his best friend. He wiggles a bit in place, trying to find his next comfortable position without waking Kaneki. His free hand comes to a rest over Kaneki’s nape, his fingers curling loosely into soft locks. It’s one of those rare, uneventful nights preserved by the absence of his nightmares and panic attacks. He half wishes he has the energy to stay awake and appreciate the moment longer.

Hide exhales slowly, muttering the words he’s never needed to tell Kaneki face to face as he presses a soft kiss onto the crown of his head. Then he lets his eyelids flit close.

xXx

In four years, Kaneki has achieved much more than he expected, as well as lost more than he’s willing to.

He’d united many factions of ghouls, and fought against even more to establish power. He’d worked together with Hide to figure out what they can do to the CCG’s side, what they can do to be heard by people who see ghouls as nothing but monsters. He’d gotten himself so close to death and endured unimaginable pain so many times that the stress has turned his hair completely white.

But all those are progress. Progress that pushed for more action by others even if he and Hide are not there to pull the strings. And that’s important. That should be enough to clear his debt.

Because it’s also four years later that Kaneki’s not greeted home by a familiar voice for the first time since they started staying in their apartment.

He must be asleep, is the first thought he forces himself to have when he trudges into their lounge and spots Hide seated on his favourite sofa. His eyes are closed, his head tilted slightly to the side while balanced on an upturned palm. Even though Kaneki already knows the truth deep down the moment he enters the room and feels the absence of that certain sense of warmth, the moment he notices how there’s no rise and fall of his chest, Hide really does look like he’s sleeping.

Kaneki crouches down before his best friend, brushing his fingers across his cooling skin. And “Hide,” he whispers very softly, the void in his chest condensing into a single lump in his throat. But that’s fine, he’s expected this. They’ve been expecting this ever since they left the Garden what felt like an eternity ago. He’s been preparing in his own way so that when this day comes, he won’t be overwhelmed by grief, won’t be thrown into an endless pit of despair.

Hide only said he’d be mad if he left before him, didn’t he?

It’s okay now. He’s done everything he could’ve done. They’ve both done everything they could’ve done.

“Sleep well, Hide.” He smiles, reaching for the calmness within as he feels the prick on his lower back. He’s glad; Hide hadn’t shown any signs of health deterioration until the very end. He shifts, resting the side of his head against Hide’s knees. He breathes out slowly, counting with each beat of his heart. Three. Two.

“I’ll see you soon.”

One.

xXx

“What do you think heaven looks like, Kaneki?” Hide asked, eyes fixed towards the unreachable sky above. Kaneki turned his head carefully, feeling the soft grass brush against the back of his neck. The stalk of a flower between their faces swayed in the breeze, back and forth, back and forth.

“Probably not like this place,” he said. Then scrunching up his nose, “though, now that I think of it, it might look somewhat like this place.”

Hide shifted to give him one of his obnoxious looks. “Kaneki, I have no idea what you’re saying again.”

“What I mean is,” Kaneki cleared his throat, hoping the slight burn in his cheeks wasn’t getting obvious. “It might look like this garden, but not the Garden as a whole. Just a big, endless garden.”

“That sounds pretty boring,” Hide comments, reaching to pluck the flower from the ground and twisting it between his fingers. Kaneki watched the white petals spin with idle fascination; clockwise, counter-clockwise, then clockwise again.

“Do you want to go to heaven, Hide?” he then asked, shifting his gaze back to Hide’s face. Hide purses his lips and hums in thought.

“I probably won’t be able to make it, with all those fussy requirements and all,” he admitted. He glanced away, scratching his cheek in an almost sheepish manner. “Besides, I don’t want to go anywhere without you there.”

Fortunately for him, Kaneki didn’t find his words worth teasing. “Because you’ll be lonely without me?” he asked, genuinely curious. It took a moment before Hide could meet his eyes again.

“Yeah,” he said, followed by a sharp intake of breath before his voice grows firmer. “Definitely.”

“Then I’ll stay by you, wherever you go,” Kaneki vowed, offering his little finger. “Pinky promise.”

“Oh, come on, Kaneki! Aren’t we getting a little too old for that? We’re turning seven next year!” Hide protested with a laugh. He released his flower anyway, curling the fingers of his outstretched hand except the last. When he spoke, his voice was softer, fonder. “But thank you. I’ll never leave you as well, I swear on that.”

Kaneki nodded without a single shred of doubt that he would.

And they hooked their fingers together.

A/N: and thus we conclude this monster of a supposed oneshot _(:DD the moral of the story is: think before you attempt fitting expendable AUs like this into a oneshot because what the fuc-

i still hope the pacing’s not too bad tho _(:D i honestly can’t anymore i tried and i’m tired aaaaAA

//whispers there are also some copies of my HideKane mini anthology "Camellia" left for grabs, so you can check it out if you're interested _(:D

#hidekane #kaneki ken #nagachika hideyoshi #tokyo ghoul #sunlit garden AU #i think i worked on this for almost half a year jFC #and i kept forgetting the direction i was heading real good stuff #now if youll excuse me i think i need a lot of naps-#fanfiction

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swipestream · 6 years ago

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New Release Roundup, 15 December, 2018: Science Fiction

Starship mages, internet trolls-turned-litRPG trolls, mecha mercenaries, and reprints of two science fiction masters feature in this week’s roundup of the newest releases in science fiction.

After the Galaxy: The Unsung – Scott Bartlett

We colonized the galaxy – then abandoned it. He defends what’s left.

Joe is nearing the end of a long deployment, and he’s looking forward to some home leave so he can visit his daughter. Protecting digital people pays the bills, but Joe is one of the few who still prefer to spend time with those made of flesh and blood.

His last assignment takes him to Earth, humanity’s deserted homeworld, to learn why all contact has been lost with Sol’s Subverse – the digital utopia where most of humanity now lives. He’s expecting the answer to be boring. Probably, rats chewed their way into the server room again.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

First, he finds a pirate impersonating the corporal responsible for guarding the Subverse terminal. Then he visits Earth’s last settlement to find everyone dead…except the children, who have all been taken.

These are the first clues that lead Joe on an epic journey across a dying galaxy, with only his training and skill to rely on. A mysterious enemy seeks to make slaves of the last real people left, and if Joe can’t put a stop to it, the human dream will die.

Augmented (The Transcended #1) – Anthony James

Lieutenant Becky Keller’s brain is fitted with a processing core which can outthink and outfly the most advanced battle computers in the Space Corps. Not only that, she’s blessed with the gift of the psi and her intuition is unparalleled in the military.

Keller finds herself partnered with another one from the labs. Joe Nation is packed with so many augmentations, he can’t remember which parts of his body are real anymore. All he knows is covert ops, and with his stealth and assault modules, there’s no one better at it than Nation.

The pair of them are given a mission – take the Retaliator class SC Gundar, infiltrate the Isob-2 processing facility of a semi-hostile alien species known as Estral, and find out if they’re breaking the terms of a peace treaty.

It’s easier said than done. The Estral are spoiling for war and they don’t want human agents poking around in their business. Deep within the Isob-2 facility, something hostile awaits and no one in the Space Corps is prepared for it.

The first of the Transcended have come and they aren’t looking for peace.

The Beast of Eridu (Terran Strike Marines #4) – Richard Fox and Scott Moon

An ancient Beast awakens, and only Lieutenant Hoffman and his Strike Marines can put it down.

On the sweltering jungle world of Eridu, hidden in an ancient vault is an artefact which will change the course of the war against the ever-encroaching Kesaht armada. But guarding it is a deadly creature, a Beast with the ability to destroy any technology it encounters.

When modern equipment fails the Strike Marines, and with the fledgling human colony on Eridu under threat, they must turn to a hero of the Ember wars and a tracker without peer.

Stueben, the Karigole warrior.

But The Beast isn’t the only threat the Terran Strike Marines still face. Another enemy lurks in the shadows of Eridu. One bent on revenge against Hoffman.

Desperation (Forgotten Colony #3) – M.R. Forbes

The Deliverance has arrived.

The planet is beautiful, lush, teeming with life and perfectly suited to the colony’s needs. It’s supposed to be everything they ever dreamed of.

Instead, it’s a nightmare.

Caleb knows the truth. The ship’s real mission has nothing to do with settlement. The plan is much more sinister than that.

Now the race is on to prepare for the coming storm, to secure the colony and find the enemy before the enemy finds them.

But when fear leads to a desperate betrayal, will it be the innocent who pay the ultimate price?

The Io Encounter (Ice Moon #3) – Brandon Q. Morris

Jupiter’s moon Io has an extremely hostile environment. There are hot lava streams, seas of boiling sulfur, and frequent volcanic eruptions straight from Dante’s Inferno, in addition to constant radiation bombardment and a surface temperature hovering at minus 180 degrees Celsius.

Is it really home to a great danger that threatens all of humanity? That’s what a surprise message from the life form discovered on Enceladus seems to indicate.

The crew of ILSE, the International Life Search Expedition, finally on their longed-for return to Earth, reluctantly chooses to accept a diversion to Io, only to discover that an enemy from within is about to destroy all their hopes of ever going home.

The Magnificent Wilf – Gordon R. Dickson

We are not alone in the galaxy—not by a longshot. And extra-solar civilization has come calling. Now, Tom Parent, his linguist wife Lucy, and their Great Dane Rex must travel the stars as ambassadors of Earth. Their mission: to prove Humanity deserves to be considered equal to the scores of established alien cultures. Earth’s acceptance hinges on building good relationships with these aliens, and the genteel Parents seem the perfect candidates for wooing extra-terrestrials.

Of course, they’ll have to tread carefully among these brave new worlds that have such creatures in them! Soon what starts as a straight-forward goodwill tour is complicated when Lucy is mistaken for a Wilf—a lifeform that manipulates others toward moral behavior—and Tom accidentally joins a galactic council when he sits in the wrong chair. On top of that, their faithful hound Rex starts talking. And maybe it’s best if we don’t mention the singing gelatin-mold-like alien they have to rescue from becoming dessert.

It’s action and adventure for Tom, Lucy, and Rex, and a laugh-riot for the reader in this classic novel from Science Fiction master Gordon R. Dickson!

The Radio Menace (The Argosy Library #37) – Ralph Milne Farley

The Whoomangs have returned! They have invaded the Earth! Those who know are considered crazy! How will the Earth be saved? And who are the Whoomangs?

When Boston’s U.S. Assistant District Attorney disappeared, not even the investigators knew that this was the opening gun of a weird and secret invasion of America. Trailing this disappearance, reporter Larry Larrabee finds himself pitted against amazing adversaries with strange scientific weapons and stranger, non-human allies: an overwhelming army of robots led by beast scientists from the planet Venus.

One of the most beloved of the fantastic story pulp authors akin to Edgar Rice Burroughs, author Ralph Milne Farley pens another installment of his popular Radio series, The Radio Menace.

Sentenced to Troll – S.L. Rowland

Punished for his toxic online behavior, Chad faces a thirty-day sentence of full-immersion therapy designed to improve his anger issues. For his endless trolling in real life, he’s forced to play the most hated race in Isle of Mythos so that he can finally experience what it’s like to be on the other side.

To make matters worse, the heroes sent to rid the world of evil aren’t heroes at all—they’re violent felons on their own twisted paths to redemption.

Now, Chad must survive his one-month sentence in a world where anything goes.

“LitRPG novels have a very common list of problems; single-dimension immature and narcissistic protagonists, unmotivated characters, implausible dialog and behaviors, excessive focus on game mechanics, Mary Sue / Harvy Stu plots, and above all, massive grammar and spelling issues. This novel (mostly) avoids ALL of that. Huzzah!” – Amazon Reader Review

UnArcana Stars (Starship’s Mage #6) – Glynn Stewart

It has been over a year since the UnArcana Worlds of the Protectorate of the Mage-King of Mars seceded, shattering the unity of the human race. The new Republic of Faith and Reason has raised new banners in defiance of the power of the Protectorate’s Mage aristocracy.

Now, Hand Damien Montgomery commands a relief mission to a Republic world ravaged by famine. His humanitarian mission collides with a newborn military beginning to flex its muscles–and a newborn nation prepared to accept no violations of its sovereignty, regardless of their needs.

Elsewhere, disaster strikes the Nia Kriti Fleet Base as an earthquake shatters their only communication with the rest of the Protectorate. Officer-in-training Roslyn Chambers is in the middle of the recovery effort when she realizes Nia Kriti is under attack.

The Republic is done with peace. They are coming for the Protectorate–and they will see the fleets of Mars break!

When the Axe Falls (The Four Horsemen: Omega War #7) – Jon R. Osborne

Bjorn Tovesson III, the owner of Bjorn’s Berserkers, is a man tied to the past, but who’s not afraid to innovate. Whether it is new tactics or new equipment, Bjorn is willing to try anything, once, in an effort to grow his company into the status of the fabled Four Horsemen.

Looking to the future with his eyes open, though, he has seen a series of unfortunate occurrences running through the ranks of Earth’s mercenaries. Companies in financial troubles, some taking huge losses on contracts…and others not returning from their contracts at all.

His father always taught him to prepare, and Bjorn is working to diversify his operations, including moving the company to a planet with a sizable portion of aliens who are already members of the Galactic Union. Nothing bad could happen to them there, right?

But as the storm clouds continue to gather, his past is on a collision course with the present, as another of Earth’s mercenary companies is out to get him…and with the support of the Mercenary Guild, they have the forces to overwhelm him! Will Bjorn’s preparations keep the Berserkers safe, or will they become yet another unfortunate occurrence?

New Release Roundup, 15 December, 2018: Science Fiction published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

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michaelpatrickhicks · 7 years ago

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Ten Spring Reads To Watch For

Yeah, the shift toward warmer weather and cool evenings sipping beer after some grueling lawncare is great and all, but for me the best part of spring is the blossoming of new books. From the looks of things, there's a boatload of promising intrigue, blood-curdling chills, and action-packed adventures ahead. While it's a sure bet I have plenty of other books in my TBR and review pile, here's the Top 10 spring reads I am most looking forward to.

One Way by S.J. Morden

April 10, 2018 | Orbit

When the small crew of ex cons working on Mars start getting murdered, everyone is a suspect in this terrifying science fiction thriller from bona fide rocket scientist and award winning-author S. J. Morden.

It's the dawn of a new era - and we're ready to colonize Mars. But the company that's been contracted to construct a new Mars base, has made promises they can't fulfill and is desperate enough to cut corners. The first thing to go is the automation . . . the next thing they'll have to deal with is the eight astronauts they'll send to Mars, when there aren't supposed to be any at all.

Frank - father, architect, murderer - is recruited for the mission to Mars with the promise of a better life, along with seven of his most notorious fellow inmates. But as his crew sets to work on the red wasteland of Mars, the accidents mount up, and Frank begins to suspect they might not be accidents at all. As the list of suspect grows shorter, it's up to Frank to uncover the terrible truth before it's too late.

Dr. S. J. Morden trained as a rocket scientist before becoming the author of razor-sharp, award-winning science fiction. Perfect for fans of Andy Weir's The Martian and Richard Morgan, One Way takes off like a rocket, pulling us along on a terrifying, epic ride with only one way out.

They Feed by Jason Parent

April 15, 2018 | Sinister Grin Press

The night uncovers all we wish not to see. A troubled man enters a dusky park before sunset. A young woman follows, hidden in shadow. Both have returned to the park to take back something the past has stolen from them, to make right six long years of suffering, and to find justice or perhaps redemption—or maybe they'll settle for some old-fashioned revenge. But something evil is alive and awake in those woods, creatures that care nothing for human motivations. They’re driven by their own insatiable need: a ravenous, bottomless hunger. The campgrounds are full tonight, and the creatures are starving. Before the night is over, they will feed. An unrelenting tale of terror from Jason Parent, acclaimed author of People of the Sun and What Hides Within.

Breaking the World by Jerry Gordon

April 17, 2018 | Apex Books

Cyrus doesn't believe in David's predictions, and he's not interested in being part of a cult. But after the sudden death of his brother, his parents split up and his mom drags him to Waco, Texas against his will. At least he's not alone. His friends, Marshal and Rachel, have equally sad stories that end with them being dumped at the Branch Davidian Church. Together, they're the trinity of nonbelievers, atheist teens caught between a soon to be infamous cult leader, an erratic FBI, and an epidemic that may confirm the worst of the church's apocalyptic prophecies. With tanks surrounding the Branch Davidians and tear gas in the air, Cyrus and his friends know one thing for certain: They can't count on the adults to save them. In his debut novel, Jerry Gordon takes readers deep inside the longest standoff in law enforcement history for an apocalyptic thriller that challenges the news media's reporting of the event, the wisdom of militarizing domestic law enforcement, and the blurry line between religion and cult.

The Atrocities by Jeremy C. Shipp

April 17, 2018 | Tor.com

Jeremy Shipp brings you THE ATROCITIES, a haunting gothic fantasy of a young ghost's education

When Isabella died, her parents were determined to ensure her education wouldn't suffer.

But Isabella's parents had not informed her new governess of Isabella's... condition, and when Ms Valdez arrives at the estate, having forced herself through a surreal nightmare maze of twisted human-like statues, she discovers that there is no girl to tutor.

Or is there...?

Forsaken (A Unit 51 Novel) by Michael McBride

April 24, 2018 | Pinnacle

IT HAS SURVIVED At a research station in Antarctica, scientists discovered a strange and ancient organism. They thought they could study it, classify it, control it. They couldn’t. IT HAS THRIVED Six months ago, a secret paramilitary team called Unit 51 was sent to the station. They thought the creature was dead, the nightmare was over. It wasn’t. IT HAS EVOLVED In a Mexican temple, archeologists uncover the remains of a half-human hybrid. They believe it is related to the creature in Antarctica, a dark thing of legend that is still alive—and still evolving. They believe it needs a new host to feed, to mutate, to multiply. They’re right. And they’re next. And the human race might just be headed for extinction . . .

Fury From the Tomb: The Institute for Singular Antiquities Book 1 by S.J. Morden

May 1, 2018 | Angry Robot Books

Mummies, grave-robbing ghouls, hopping vampires, and evil monks beset a young archaeologist, in this fast-paced Indiana Jones-style adventure Saqqara, Egypt, 1888, and in the booby-trapped tomb of an ancient sorcerer, Rom, a young Egyptologist, makes the discovery of a lifetime: five coffins and an eerie, oversized sarcophagus. But the expedition seems cursed, for after unearthing the mummies, all but Rom die horribly. He faithfully returns to America with his disturbing cargo, continuing by train to Los Angeles, home of his reclusive sponsor. When the train is hijacked by murderous banditos in the Arizona desert, who steal the mummies and flee over the border, Rom – with his benefactor’s rebellious daughter, an orphaned Chinese busboy, and a cold-blooded gunslinger – must ride into Mexico to bring the malevolent mummies back. If only mummies were their biggest problem…

Obscura by Joe Hart

May 8, 2018 | Thomas & Mercer

She’s felt it before... the fear of losing control. And it’s happening again.

In the near future, an aggressive and terrifying new form of dementia is affecting victims of all ages. The cause is unknown, and the symptoms are disturbing. Dr. Gillian Ryan is on the cutting edge of research and desperately determined to find a cure. She’s already lost her husband to the disease, and now her young daughter is slowly succumbing as well. After losing her funding, she is given the unique opportunity to expand her research. She will travel with a NASA team to a space station where the crew has been stricken with symptoms of a similar inexplicable psychosis—memory loss, trances, and violent, uncontrollable impulses.

Crippled by a secret addiction and suffering from creeping paranoia, Gillian finds her journey becoming a nightmare as unexplainable and violent events plague the mission. With her grip weakening on reality, she starts to doubt her own innocence. And she’s beginning to question so much more—like the true nature of the mission, the motivations of the crew, and every deadly new secret space has to offer.

Merging thrilling science-fiction adventure with mind-bending psychological suspense, Wall Street Journal bestselling author Joe Hart explores both the vast mysteries of outer space and the even darker unknown that lies within ourselves.

Hell Divers III: Deliverance by Nicholas Sansbury-Smith

May 15, 2018 | Blackstone Publishing

Left for dead on the nightmarish surface of the planet, Commander Michael Everhart and his team of Hell Divers barely escape with their lives aboard a new airship called Deliverance. After learning that Xavier “X” Rodriguez may still be alive, they mount a rescue mission for the long-lost hero.

In the skies, the Hive is falling apart, but Captain Jordan is more determined than ever to keep humanity in their outdated lifeboat. He will do whatever it takes to keep the ship in the air—even murder. But when he learns the Hell Divers he exiled have found Deliverance, he changes course for a new mission—find the divers, kill them, and make their new ship his own.

In the third installment of the USA Today bestselling Hell Divers series, Michael and his fellow divers fight across the mutated landscape in search of X. But what they find will change everything.

Blood Standard by Laird Barron

May 29, 2018 | G.P. Putnman's Sons

Award-winning author Laird Barron makes his crime fiction debut with a novel set in the underbelly of upstate New York that's as hardboiled and punchy as a swift right hook to the jaw--a classic noir for fans of James Ellroy and John D. Macdonald. Isaiah Coleridge is a mob enforcer in Alaska--he's tough, seen a lot, and dished out more. But when he forcibly ends the moneymaking scheme of a made man, he gets in the kind of trouble that can lead to a bullet behind the ear. Saved by the grace of his boss and exiled to upstate New York, Isaiah begins a new life, a quiet life without gunshots or explosions. Except a teenage girl disappears, and Isaiah isn't one to let that slip by. And delving into the underworld to track this missing girl will get him exactly the kind of notice he was warned to avoid.

The Woman in the Woods by John Connolly

June 12, 2018 | Atria/Emily Bestler Boks

From internationally bestselling author and “creative genius who has few equals in either horror fiction or the mystery genre” (New York Journal of Books) comes a gripping thriller starring Private Investigator Charlie Parker. When the body of a woman—who apparently died in childbirth—is discovered, Parker is hired to track down both her identity and her missing child. In the beautiful Maine woods, a partly preserved body is discovered. Investigators realize that the dead young woman gave birth shortly before her death. But there is no sign of a baby. Private detective Charlie Parker is hired by a lawyer to shadow the police investigation and find the infant but Parker is not the only searcher. Someone else is following the trail left by the woman, someone with an interest in much more than a missing child…someone prepared to leave bodies in his wake. And in a house by the woods, a toy telephone begins to ring and a young boy is about to receive a call from a dead woman.

I'm also planning on digging into several titles that have been lingering in my review pile for quite a while, including the Bram Stoker Award-nominated Kill Creek by Scott Thomas. What's on your reading list for the next couple months ahead?

#Top 10 #Spring Reading List #horror #scifi #thrillers #mysteries #books

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chaosunmasked-blog · 8 years ago

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The Unraveling

And here I still am. Sorry about the massive amounts of posts that just appeared. For some reason, tumblr is blocked at my school, and I was only able to post when I got home. Not to mention I was in the hospital for a week. It was as if it were a best hit album of the best doctors of the bumfuck somewhere place that I attend college.

Anyways, I was admitted twice in the same week! They let me go the first time telling me everything was normal and to follow up with my primary care doctor in a week. The problem: I don't have one in bumfuck nowheresville where I live. So, they said oh yes you can just stay here for a month until you get this figured out...Uhhh, what?

I don't think they understood that too sick to go to school means you have nowhere to live. Once you withdraw and you live on campus, you're kicked off the property. Also, what about my mom? My parents? They can't just zoom down here and buy a house or rent an apartment for who knows how long until I get better. They have to go to work so that they have the money to pay off my medical expenses. Newsflash: broke college student is even more broke when they have to bus themselves between doctors' offices, the ER and the local pharmacy. My meds now cost me $600 a month, which meant buh-bye spending money for college.

So, I left. And then, I came back. Symptoms were worse and low and behold, I was admitted to the PCU, which is a step down from the ICU and tested and treated for the whole host of problems that a didn't have 5 hours ago. Yeah, right. They knew I was really sick. It just turns out the hospitalist was a bitch and discharged me knowing that I had a severe restrictive lung disease. Which the last time I check, doesn't mean nothing is wrong with you. My discharge papers also mentioned partially collapsed lungs and acute bronchitis. The pulmonologist fought to keep me in, but she snuck me out after he left.

Anyways, new list of problems. In addition to the bronchitis and partially collapsed lungs. I have a severe restrictive lung disease, severe GERD which lead to a malformed laynx, extensive swelling and redness, my lungs were pretty much entirely inflamed except for a few spots in the upper lobes, lingual thrush, severely inflamed tonsils (which have been inflamed since July and no one inspected them, seriously??) and abnormal mucosa. I had three biopsies. Also, my arterial blood gases were way off, and I have a weak heart regurgitation throughout almost all of my vales. Also, a new deficiency: potassium. I'm just a leaking ship.

So much for nothing's wrong right? Also, I almost died in between these admissions when I went to a 2nd hospital for a different opinion (still had that horrid breathing issuwe) and they gave me Valium. Despite the discharge papers from a few hours before stating I had a partially collapsed lung and acute bronchitis, they thought I had anxiety. I was brought back an hour later with increased difficulty breathing, stridor and was unresponsive. Luckily, my mom suggested Ativan which brought me back to life, somewhat.

If the hospitalist had only done her job properly, her hospital would not be facing a large fine. And, I would have avoided that near death experience. But, in this country, no one cares as long as they get to go home on time. If that poor sucker dies on you, you still get paid. Right? Only matters how many dead bodies you can hide before you get that first million. You've got to be smart about it.

The best part though was when I was sent home the second time. I was told by my pulmonologist that I was just freaking out over nothing. Everything I have is treatable and don’t go to a doctor for every little thing. However, my parents were told the exact opposite, which led to our little fight today over going to urgent care. I obviously lost as I was too weak to resist when they marched me to the doctor to get some new medication as my symptoms came back. Newsflash, new medication is not working.

Then, I got curious and did something I hardly ever do, which is to read my medical records. And low and behold, I'm really sick. That's how I found out about all this restrictive lung disease, heart condition and how my body has landed me in a whole new town of fuckery. And don’t forget about that wonderfully high blood glucose, which no one cared to treat. And still is not addressing.

So, that's almost every system of the body that my mystery illness has affected. It's destroyed my CNS, kidneys, liver, GI track, heart, lung, immune system/bone marrow, eyes, musculoskeletal system, pancreas, urinary tract and thyroid (levels swing between the two extremes also a new discovery in the second hospitalization).

Yep. And despite all this the pulmonologist said I'll get better. I'm confident. We didn't find anything scary...Yeah, right. This stuff is serious shit. I felt like the ENT was the only honest doctor in the room. He said flat out, "You're too sick to be in school. You're seriously ill and need to be admitted to a hospital that has excellent specialists. I'm out of my depth here."

And his statement is the only one that was honest. I mean. Seriously. He's good. Also, that nasal polyp I had. It wasn't a polyp. Whatever it was is unknown. Which is a problem. I mean a mass appeared in my nose several months before my health takes another nose dive and disappears. Doesn’t that warrant investigation?

I also asked about my tonsils that back in July the doctor said they were inflamed due to multiple childhood illnesses. What the fuck? I asked them to take a look, and they said nope. That's what it is. Even though you're seven years removed from any major childhood infection that you had, your swollen tonsils are due to that. It's completely normal. Bullshit. I mean my primary care doctor looks down my throat and saw nothing? He didn’t see the large, swollen, red, thickened tonsils in my throat? All he said was, "You're really sick and don’t know it."

He gave me antibiotics despite my lack of a fever. I didn’t take them because I didn’t feel like I had a bacterial infection. I had no fever after all. But, anyway it wasn't bacterial or even what he thought it was. He always thinks I have sinusitis, which I did not and do not have and he gave me the meds for that. Whatever freaky thing is growing on my tonsils is not responsive to antibiotics because it seems like it got a whole lot worse.

But anyway, I am not surprised by this development. I'm fucking dying, and no one can figure out why. It has been the status quo for almost a year. Maybe hope still exists out there with my specialist in the middle of somewhere, but I can only pray he comes up with something when it's not too late. Or if the nurses will even tell him one of his patients is probably on the verge of death. (Honestly, he's the best doctor I've ever run across and the first to actually read my entire medical record, but his nurses are the worst bitches I've ever run into. I have to call several times in order to get my two buddies in there to get my messages through.)

Despite France's backwards culture, the doctors actually do a through job and take into account your medical history. Here, the docs throw all that away most of the time guess and nearly kill you (if it's not something mundane). I mean of all the docs I've been to, excluding psychiatrists and psychologists, he's the first to actually do his job. I guess it helps not being American trained? I can't give an answer as to why doctors are so shitty here versus any developed country, but ask a good doctor (if you can find one) and they'll give you a laundry list of issues they would like fixed. (Ironically, I know a good doctor and he prefers to treat himself before relying on one of his colleagues. That should tell you something.)

Exhibit A, the urgent care center. What just happened to me this evening is a clarion call to all those who think America's medical system needs a wake up call. I told the doc, here's my medical record from my recent hospitalization. Her answer, "I don't have time to read that." Instead, she failed to take a medical history. I brought up my thrush infection, since it could cause some of my symptoms when it spreads. She said my thrush infection is something that should be taken up with my primary (which I told her I don’t have yet in the middle of bumfuck nowheresville) and gave me an inhaled steroid because my dad asked her for it.( Nowhere in the notes I received from the hospital did the lung doctor mention that I needed that.) And it didn't help anyway. So, there you go. Drug number 18 and it doesn't work.

This is the problem in America. No one wants to do their job either as a citizen (the election of President Trump) or as a doctor except for the very few (25%) who actually like their jobs. I imagine in that 25% there are probably a good chunk of incompetent people so the percentage of good doctors that won’t kill you in the US is probably quite small.

So, there it is. Sunday is on the horizon and I hope to make it to Monday at the least. But who knows. All I know is that those Syrian refugees being diverted away from the US are going to receive much better healthcare than myself.

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