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blakelywintersfield · 3 years ago

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Minors

Okay so, I originally wrote this in response to this post (my friend's reblog is linked instead of the original because OP either deleted it from their blog I guess?), but I feel like this constitutes as its own post.

I know this may sound like an overbearing parent "don't trust strangers on the internet" talk, but like. I don't think a lot of you understand just how quickly a situation can escalate; it's scary. I mean that not in a condescending "you think you're untouchable you stupid little child, you don't really know what the world is like" way either, but as in, I don't think internet safety is being taught realistically, so those things you're told to watch out for are far-fetched or already seem suspect.

Predators don't work the way TV shows joke that they do -- most predators aren't going to try and message you at random posing as a teenage girl and attempt to strike up a friendship. A lot interact in community spaces like tumblr, where some level of anonymity is allowed, and it's not odd for there to be people of both minor and adult ages. They interact with a variety of people -- not just targets. They will have full-fledged social circles. Their blogs and social interactions will look like literally any other person's on here.

Then, of the different blogs they follow, they end up interacting a lot with a certain user. Maybe the kind of humor clicks, or similar opinions, or interests. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how people make friends. Maybe then they start by sending an ask, or a message, or whatever, and that continues for a bit until you two are kind of acclimated to one another, and then, as far as everyone is concerned, it's just a new friend! Neat! That's how you make friends on the internet. They most likely did this with their other friends on tumblr. Nothing weird. In this hypothetical, the minor party has their full name and city public.

But then this person you make friends with -- the way you would any other person on this website -- turns out to be 10+ years your senior. Which like. Honestly, you don't have to cut them out of your life and block them immediately, but you inform them you're 10 years younger than them. A responsible adult would respond to that knowledge with anything from the range of "oh holy shit you're baby uhh I feel a little weird interacting with you so personally" to "oh goodness you are a youngling I will now enter caregiver/parent-like mode". And there will be an established tone from there of "we may still interact but there is going to always be a set emotional distance". It'll have a different dynamic/feeling to the friendships you have with people your age. And it should. Both parties can still care about each other! But this isn't someone you would like. Hang out one on one with. You wouldn't hang out with your mom's friend one on one, or at your teacher's home alone. That'd be weird, right? That should be the same kind of vibe you get with any adult "friendship" you make online (I put friendship in quotes because I feel like... there's a better term for it, or should be one that establishes that adult/minor relationship, but if there is I can't for the life of me remember it).

But maybe that person doesn't go down that path. Maybe it comes off that way at first, but there's a subtle level of emotional manipulation that is subtle enough that you're not certain you can accuse them of being manipulative. "Oh wow, you're so much younger than me... do you still want to talk to me / be friends / etc.? I can leave you alone now if you want." Warning sign #1: they are pressuring you to make the decision; they are placing responsibility on you. And it might feel a little mean to just drop communication all of a sudden because of age -- you got along fine before. Why should that change anything? That's a rational thought process, but it's also the one that benefits them too.

So hypothetically, you say "no it's okay, we can still talk. we were talking just fine before we found out each other's ages so why should that change?" And then maybe the conversation continues normally from there. But then they continue interacting with you as your peers would. You guys talk about stuff that's been stressing you or your problems, just like you would with your peers. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Warning sign #2: That form of emotional connection isn't normal with an adult/minor relationship. I have minors that follow me. They have talked to me about their problems, and I've offered advice and wisdom; I don't condemn that because, well. As adults, we should help guide the younger if asked. But when it comes to my troubles, I limit how much I discuss with them. I don't bring them up myself (it's often brought up by the other party because I'll post about it on here, like a vent post or whatever). And while I don't brush them off with a short "don't worry about it", I make it clear -- I appreciate that you care enough to make sure I'm okay (because their sympathy / care is just as valuable as an adult's), but even if I'm not okay, the burdens and problems surrounding my troubles will be dealt with by me. I don't ask them for advice. I don't goad them for sympathetic words. And it's not that I believe they couldn't give good advice, or their sympathy means less, but an adult should not be relying on a minor for those levels of emotional labor. That established emotional connection where both parties exchange advice and comfort is how predators manipulate their victims because it's subtle and seemingly harmless, and difficult to paint them as a bad person when you have that level of emotional trust.

And once that emotional connection is established, that's when things can escalate, and get scary, quickly.

One day while talking they will probably bring it up -- the way one of your peers would. Something along the lines of "hey can I tell you something?" or "there's something I want to tell you but I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore if I do" etc. etc.; with that peer/peer dynamic, that'll make you anxious, sure. You'd probably get anxious if they were your own age and said that too. So then, it comes out in some form that "I like you, but like... as more than a friend" or "I think you're really cute; I have for a bit now actually" or something similar. Obviously then it's uncomfortable.

But then you realize -- this is an adult. This is someone who has access to transportation. This is someone that doesn't have to report to someone (i.e. a minor can't just say "I'm going out of town for a week bye!" like your parents would, or SHOULD, be like "uh okay where are you going, who are you going to be with, why, etc. etc. etc."). And they know your full name and a general idea of where you live. You could just block them then and there and remove that information from your blog. But what if they already saved it? What if they already used one of those websites where you can look up a person's address by name for $5? What if they already know where you live, and they had planned on asking to meet up? They might know where you live. And you can't confirm or deny that they know. You can't say for sure if you removed that information before they saved it and used it for that purpose. Suddenly, there's the very real possibility that a pedophile that admitted to being attracted to you knows where you live.

Then what do you do? You should tell your parents or a trusted authority figure. But you're also a teenager and there's the likelihood that your parents might brush it off, or get angry with you, and you might get your internet taken away, etc., which is stressful because that takes away a major social area. To build upon the anxiety with that, there's the risk of unknowing if this person does know where you live, and if they do, if they are just unstable enough to do something drastic, like, y'know. Kidnap you. Because they know where you live. And they may know your school schedule too. And if your parents or trusted authority figure doesn't know about this situation, you may end up a missing child never found at worst, or found with far more trauma (5 years of life being kidnapped as opposed to a few months) that could've been avoided had someone known the situation.

But to 100% ensure your safety, it would have to be reported to the police. Because your parents can't do anything about the fact that a pedophile on the internet might know where you live. They can't confirm or deny that they know, and if they did, there's not much they can do other than keep an eye out for someone that looks out of the ordinary. But if they're most likely not home at the same time you are all the time. So, having the police involved ensures your safety -- if you open a case. You can report it to the police, and they'll ask: do you want to press charges (because it could be considered a form of child endangerment). If you say no, then that guarantees if you are kidnapped, that person would be the first they'd look to as a suspect. But to avoid that kidnapping risk at all, you'd have to say yes. And you're a kid that's now having to get involved in court just to avoid any risk to your safety because a pedophile may or may not have your address and may or may not be someone that would abduct their target, and so even if they didn't have your address and wouldn't kidnap you, you are now in a legal situation, which is. extremely. stressful. As someone's who's dealt with the court system a lot it's stressful no matter what.

And sure, you could omit the last step. But then you'll have that looming anxiety for as long as you're a minor that there is a possibility this person may show up at your house at some point. And that anxiety is fucking torture. I know it firsthand, I know all of this up to the legal portion firsthand, because this is exactly how I got tangled up with a pedophile in high school. That anxiety can make you paranoid. It impacts your sleep, which impacts your emotional tolerance and your concentration. It looms and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it other than convince yourself "they probably don't have my address; they probably won't find me". And that logic becomes sounder as time passes. But it requires time to pass, and in the meantime, you sit in constant suffering suspense.

It's just not fucking worth it, okay? You might think "this would never happen to me" but like. I was the fat emo weirdo in high school, literally considered attractive by no one and told so by peers and I still had it happen to me. So don't think "I'm not appealing enough" or whatever. Put self-esteem issues aside here, because to them, you're underage and at a power dynamic disadvantage not just physically, but most likely emotionally too. They care that you're a certain (under)age and can be manipulated into sexual acts. They will target you no matter how ugly you think you are or how unattractive your peers have convinced you.

So please. As an adult, that went through this situation (and could've had it turn out a lot worse tbh) -- do not disclose your real name (especially last names), location more specific than country, phone number, or school publicly online or to anyone you cannot 100% trust. I practice half of these in adulthood just to err on the side of caution since a full name and phone number alone could be used to find my address, and there are some preeeeetty unstable people out there. As a minor, absolutely no one needs any information unless you plan on meeting them in person, which should only be done after you've gotten to know them extremely well and both parties' parents know and are involved. It doesn't need to be on your public profile, and it shouldn't be on your public profile. I want your social media experience to be as enjoyable as possible, I don't want you feeling like you have to constantly keep an eye out for predators. But to keep yourself as safe as possible, don't purposefully make that information public. It's simple, but it’ll help you avoid so much potential stress.

Please stay safe.

#safety #internet safety #minor safety

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skullsandwineglasses · 3 years ago

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Remembrance of Things Past - Eps 1-10 Impression/Rant

Not really a first impressions post since there are only 2 episodes left, but as I’m waiting on the last few episodes, I thought I’d rant a bit about the drama here.

First of all, I agree with everything that AvenueX said in her review of the first 6 episodes. Her review is what prompted me to start the drama. I needed a realistic slice of life drama to balance out the idol drama that is You Are My Glory (which I’m also waiting on for new episodes), and ROTP seemed to fit bill. ROTP is just so good.

I binged ROTP in 3 days. It could have been 2 days, but I started it at 2am on a Wednesday night, so I didn’t get very far the first night. Each episode is about 75 minutes long, so almost the equivalent of 2 regular lengthed episodes, but not quite.

I cried during the first two episodes. The character development is just phenomenal. You really feel for Jing Jing’s character even though you’ve only seen her character for an hour. There are little moments throughout the drama that made me tear up too, like when the girls were celebrating Nan Jia jie’s 36th birthday and I got emotional over how close their bond is, or moments when the girls reflected on their aging parents and how we often take our parents for granted.

Plot pacing and structure

The plot is tight and well-paced, and each girl’s storyline is interwoven well. Sometimes they’d cut between simultaneous scenes between the girls to compare and contrast what they’re each going through. For instance, when Xu Yan is having an argument with her boyfriend, the drama will also cut and flip back and forth to Qiao Xi Chen going through problems at her workplace. When Xu Yan makes up with her boyfriend, the drama cuts to QXC and Nan Jia being romantically pursued by Jian Yi Fan and Ou Yang. It’s interesting to see how their lives mirror and differ from each other.

Because the storylines between the girls are so interwoven and keep flipping back and forth between each other, it makes it hard to skip scenes because you can’t just skip an entire segment or else you’ll miss something important in all 3 storylines. I can see that this might be a little annoying if you have a preference for one of the girls and want to skip someone else’s storyline. But I actually like seeing all 3 of their stories play out, so I’m not bothered by it.

Another aspect about the plot’s structure that I appreciate is how they use the mystery behind Jing Jing’s suicide as a throughline for the drama. Up until episode 8ish(?), each episode ends with a question about Jing Jing’s life prior to her suicide and the next episode opens with the girls trying to find an answer or a clue to it. The girls and we the audience learn more and more about Jing Jing with each episode. However, episodes 9 and 10 deviate from the structure a bit and so the drama has recently been less and less focused on Jing Jing’s story, especially after they found out that she had depression. The drama seems to imply that her depression due to the stress of living in Beijing was the main factor that led to her suicide, while the successive unfortunate events that happened on her birthday was the trigger.

Characters

I like all the main characters in the drama, albeit some a little more than others, which I’ll explain. I think the 3 male love interests are a little too perfect though, and so I guess this slice of life drama is actually a little idealistic after all.

Xu Yan - My least favourite of the four girls. She’s materialistic, but not as spoiled as I though she would be. But it does annoy me how she keeps picking fights with Shen Zi Chang, when he’s just trying his best. He’s so tolerant and patient with her. He apologizes, they make up, and then the cycle repeats. It’s just a very unhealthy relationship, and I’m tried of seeing them fight and make up.

EDIT: So, I started writing this review when I had only watched up until episode 9, but now that I’ve finished episode 10, um, wtf?? Xu Yan made a bad choice and got scammed of all her money, her friends try to comfort her, loan her money, and tell her not to repress her emotions like Jing Jing. And then she just lashes out at them saying they have no right to comfort her because they were the ones who caused Jing Jing’s death. Xu Yan starts off blaming QXC for not knowing that Jing Jing had a crush on her boyfriend, and then she blames Nan Jia for being a bad older cousin. She blames both of them for being ignorant of Jing Jing’s depression and only caring about themselves. QXC (rightfully) retorts back than Xu Yan knew all along that Jing Jing had a crush on her boyfriend, and yet Xu Yan never told anyone, so she’s just as guilty as all of them. Honestly, I was sympathetic towards Xu Yan before, but she was just so ungrateful and entitled in that scene. What right does she have pointing fingers and assigning guilt to people? And to weaponize Jing Jing’s death against them? That’s just cruel. The argument between them in that scene at the end of episode 10 just felt so random and out of place. All of a sudden, Xu Yan points out all of these problems she has with QXC and Nan Jia, when all they’ve ever done is pamper her. Also, you can’t blame QXC for dating Lin Rui even if Jing Jing liked him first, and not to mention that QXC wasn’t even aware. QXC might not have even chosen to date Lin Rui if she had known. But it happens all the time between friends where your friend might date someone you like. All’s fair in love and war, and there’s no first come first serve rule when it comes to dating.

Jing Jing - She becomes more complex as you learn more about her. She puts her friends first and is fiercely supportive and protective of them. We get a glimpse of how far she’s willing to go for them she pulls a butcher knife from the kitchen and points it at QXC’s debt collectors in the first episode. Her friends see her as being really open, expressive, and bubbly. She’s the first one they each go to whenever they need help with a problem or want to show off an achievement. But in reality, she’s really secretive. She hides her feelings to keep her friends happy, and when they slowly uncover her secrets, she becomes less and less recognizable to them, as though she’s been living a double life all along.

At the end of episode 10, Jing Jing is described as the “hole in the tree” that everyone goes to to share their secrets, but they forget that she’s also a person with her own secrets to share, and she’s not just a tree hole to serve others. Can we blame the friends for not paying enough attention to Jing Jing and only using her for emotional support? Yes and no. It’s complicated. We should always do more to try to care for others and to be more attentive to them, but at the same time, it’s impossible to completely know a person. I purposely hide parts of my life from my friends because I don’t want them worrying or judging or commenting. So I would never expect them to be able to figure it out, and neither do I want them to figure it out. I think it’s interesting that the drama is exploring the friends’ self-imposed guilt, but I don’t agree that Xu Yan should be the one to point it out them and to be Jing Jing’s spokesperson. Xu Yan positions herself as Jing Jing’s heroic and righteous advocator, when really Xu Yan is the most problematic person out of the three remaining friends.

Also, after seeing how the friends interact, they don’t feel narcissistic. Yes, they each readily vent about their problems to each other, but they also ask about the other person. It’s not one-sided. Xu Yan talks about her problems with her boyfriend, but she also asks and cares about what’s happening in QXC’s life and vice versa. Nan Jia is more mature and is busy with her business, but she always takes the time and effort to help her friends. All of their conversations are reciprocal and they are genuinely interested in each other’s lives. So, I don’t think they have a major communication problem or that they don’t care or that they’re ignorant. Which again, makes Xu Yan’s accusations in episode 10 feel even more unfair.

Ji Nan Jia - Jing Jing’s cousin and also the oldest of the three girls (about a decade older). Sassy, witty, unapologetic, confident. She’s who you’d think of when you imagine a successful, independent, career-driven woman. She’s extremely annoyed by her mother’s nagging to get married. But she herself is trying to figure out whether she actually wants to find someone to settle down with or if she just wants to beat her biological clock and have children while she still can. She’s pursued by Ou Yang, ten years her junior, and he’s absolutely enamoured with her. He seems to be unconditionally in love with her, which is what I meant when I said that the male leads in this drama seem too perfect and idealistic. But I like Ou Yang though. He’s adorable.

Qiao Xi Chen - The main character of the four main characters. Like Nan Jia, she’s also quite sassy. In some ways, she’s like a younger version of Nan Jia. QXC is also very career driven and competitive. She’s confident and believes in her abilities, but she also gets easily overwhelmed and emotional (like when her stress and nervousness prevented her from being able to give her proposal presentation and she ran out of the room. I’ve definitely felt that way before my committee meetings). QXC is a character you can self-insert as because she represents the everyday employee who struggles with the long commute to work and tries to stand out and make a name for herself in the company. QXC is also extremely paranoid, which is understandable when you’re a woman living alone in the city. I know what it’s like to have to briskly walk home late at night and constantly having to look over your shoulder to make sure no one’s following you, or having to check your hotel room before you change, or having to make it seem like you’re not the only one living in your apartment. QXC is smart, logical, helps people when she can, but is also reasonably selfish when she needs to protect herself, like when her co-workers try to take advantage of her or throw her under the bus. She’s a character everyone can relate to.

She and Jian Yi Fan also make such a cute pairing. I love all their interactions. I love how Jian Yi Fan can’t help but smile when he’s with her, but he tries hard to clamp it down. I love how QXC is aware of her own attraction and easily admits to to Xu Yan that she does have feelings for him instead of beating around the bush. And I especially love the awkward but adorable confession scene in episode 8. Such great banter and play on words (”你是什麼意思” “沒意思” “你對我是不是有意思?”). The drama did a great job of depicting the frustration of trying to guess whether someone likes you when they seem to be sending mixed signals. A lot of dramas that don’t focus on romance seem to do a better job of showing romance than idol dramas that focus on nothing but romance. I grew up with TVB dramas, and in most of them, romance is usually secondary to the main plot, but I always loved the romances in those dramas.

Like Ou Yang, JYF is such an idealistic love interest. He’s so supportive of and attentive to QXC. I haven’t watched too many slice of life dramas, but To Dear Myself and My Best Friend’s Story both had flawed (and sometimes even irredeemable) male love interests. This drama’s rose-coloured glasses definitely reduces the amount of performative angst, but it also makes the drama a little less realistic. The men in Jing Jing’s life aren’t villainized either even when you expected them to be sinister. I think the most antagonistic character is Lin Rui, but even he’s made to be sympathetic. In fact, nearly all the characters in the drama are sympathetic characters because many of the choices they made were forced because of the situation they found themselves in, and what they did was an act of self-preservation. And so, you can’t hate them or blame them.

Acting and Dialogue

I mean, what’s there to say? The acting and dialogue just sucks you right in. I love it so much. The characters are so animated and charming because of how well the actors delivered their lines. I’m not a mandarin speaker (I’m a cantonese speaker but learned mandarin afterwards), but even I was able to notice the colloquialism and slangs and idiosyncratic ticks in speech that made the dialogue feel so real and alive. The actors had great comedic timing, and when they cried, you could feel how vulnerable they are.

Lastly, I also like the little “life lessons” they include at the end of the drama where there’d be a voiceover by one of the actresses and they’d muse about life. One of my favourite musings when when they talked about what it means to have a sense of security. For some people, having a sense of security is about having a certain amount of money in your bank account, or having someone waiting for you to come home, but a sense of security isn’t something tangible or physical that you can achieve or possess. It’s a belief. It’s a belief that you’re able to face any problem and that life will go on. It’s a belief that the one that you love will be faithful and supportive. It’s a type of belief that allows you to be confident to face uncertainty. And thus, a sense of security is something that only you can give yourself. I really like that little food for thought because it’s a great reminder to be self-dependent and to not rely on external gratification. Que sera sera. What will be will be. Don’t get too hung over on failure and don’t let stress dominate your life.

Note: Watching this at the same time as You Are My Glory is extremely humbling. YAMG is an idol drama, and so they make the romance look so easy. Heck, idol dramas make being a protagonist easy. The protagonist is destined to stand out from the crowd. It’s easy to be noticed. It’s easy to cause a change in the status quo. But ROTP is a reminder that we’re all practically nobodies in the big city. It feels impossible to make an impression when there are millions of other people living almost the same life as you are. There’s nothing special about you, and it’s hard to find meaning and purpose. Obviously, the drama shows that even when it feels like you’re trying to swim upstream in a big city, we each have a life worth living. We may feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but to our friends and family, we’re their world and they’re ours. I think it was Camus who said that we should find meaning in the face of absurdity. Live in spite of how absurd and meaningless things feels. Anyway, this drama gives you a lot to think about, even though I don’t really like the melodrama they’ve recently added to drag the plot (*cough cough* that explosive argument scene at the end of episode 10 that I keep ranting about). You’d think that a 12-episode drama wouldn’t have filler, and yet here we are.

#我在他乡挺好的 #remembrance of things past #cdrama #zhou yu tong #bai yu fan #cdrama review #jolin jin #ren su xi

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago

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More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! I hope it’s ok to ask, but I’m looking for some advice and I’ve seen some really good advice on here before.......So, a little bit about me, I’ve identified as ace for like 5 years now and I’m kinda trying out identifying as aro cos that makes sense too. I’m at the point where I’m 87% sure I’m gonna apply to do a masters degree in gender and sexuality studies, wherein my proposed research will be about representations of asexuality, which I’m actually pretty excited about. The only thing is, well a few things actually...

1) I’m out to like 3 people, none of whom are my parents who I still live at home with. I don’t really see the point in coming out as an aroace who really hopes to be in a romantic and sexual relationship in the future should I magically find someone I like enough to actually consider a relationship with, it’ll either happen or it won’t. I kinda wanna come out just to get it done with, but it doesn’t change anything from my parents point of view, either I’m ‘straight’ waiting for a relationship, or I’m aroace waiting for a relationship...it makes no difference, other than opening myself up for awkward, potentially aphobic and probably homophobic questions which I wanna avoid. But equally I don’t wanna hide and do my research in secret and silence. I’d be studying from home so I’d still be seeing everyone I’m not out to (colleagues, friends, family etc) who will understandably be interested that I’m getting a masters and will want to know more, but I just don’t know how to balance being as truthful as possible about what I’m studying because it means a lot to me whilst not forcing myself to come out...if anyone has any advice I’d be extremely grateful cos it’s kinda the biggest thing stopping me from wanting to apply right now...

Also 2) I’ve done a ton of research already about asexuality, the wider queer community etc in preparation for applying (I have like 30k+ words of notes already) but there were several months last year that I gave up on research completely, almost entirely because I got fed up of practically everything I read invalidating my asexuality, with asexuality always being discussed/defined as not wanting sex, not desiring sex, asexual=nonsexual etc. It’s this kinda thing what took me so long to ID as ace in the first place cos I’ve always been a pretty sexual person, albeit just on my own, and having a desire for hypothetical future sex made me feel not ace enough to actually identify as ace despite never feeling sexually attracted to anyone, and feeling really confused about what sexual attraction actually was 🤣 whilst I’m pretty secure in my ace identity these days, the constant invalidation I’m getting from doing all this reading does really get to me and I don’t know what to do to stop making it get to me? I know there’s no right or wrong was to be aspec, not wanting/desiring/having sex is just as ace as having sex, but when asexuals having sex is never an option in what I’m reading it just makes me wanna give up and crawl back into bed cos it reminds me of the depressing days when I didn’t think I was ace enough and therefore I was just...wrong. Any strategies to work through the constant invalidation without giving up would also be appreciated!

This turned into an entire essay (I’m sorry, I just really like writing essays, god I hope it makes sense though) but I just wanna say thank you for everything you do! So many of us have absolutely no where to turn to talk about being aspec, and this is such a valuable resource because of it, so thank you soooo much 💜

For coming out or not, I think this is definitely something that's a personal choice. And I don't think there's a wrong choice unless it feels wrong to you. Both definitely have pros and cons, I don't think there's any option that doesn't have a downside unfortunately. One question that may help is how big an advantage do you think it would be to be out and be able to publicly draw from your own experiences? If not much, or if you think it may be a disadvantage, it may not be worth it, but if it really helps your work it may be worth dealing with the downsides more. Remember to put yourself and your mental health first though.

Two things to remember I think two is 1. You can come out at any time so it's not a choice you have to make now if you don't want to. (Though it may be easier to come out earlier and be done with it, but it's a personal choice). and 2. You don't have to be out to everyone or do a big coming out. If it's useful to be out for your degree/research that doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell your family/friends for example.

Though whatever you decide, I would definitely recommend trying to grow your support group a bit. Especially try and find other ace and aro people you can talk to about things and vent to who will get it. And this can be as simple as finding one or two good online communities, you can also look into ace/aro in person meetups and see if you can connect to people a bit that way too.

This will help both with any aphobic/homophobic stuff you have to deal with if you decide to come out, but will also help a lot with the constant invalidation you're likely to keep running into in academic spheres.

Following ace/aro people on social media or ace/aro blogs and following positivity blogs can help too.

Basically you want to counteract the invalidation you're going to be dealing with, and the more you can drown it out with proper validation, the easier that's going to be.

Watch out for other stressors, dealing with invalidation/aphobia on a regular basis is stressful, and the less stress you have otherwise, the easier it will be to deal with that stress. (Obviously cutting out stress is not easy, and if it was it wouldn't be an issue, but definitely it's good to be aware of this.) And put your own mental health first, always. It's great to work in ace research, and you'll likely do a lot of good, but it shouldn't be at the expense of yourself.

This is just kind of an aside but I'm honestly surprised to see academia is still defining asexuality around how sexual they are, I'd think they'd at least be using the lack of sexual attraction model. It's definitely disappointing. :/

(Also I hope you don't mind this is public, but because you asked for everyone's advice I assume it's OK. Tumblr doesn't seem to allow answering asks privately anymore, but I'll happily take this down if you want me to.)

All the best and I wish you the best of luck!

Also going to put this out to followers if anyone has any advice, or if anyone deals with anything similar and wants to talk about it/share their own opinions, please do!

#a-spec antagonism

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seita · 4 years ago

Text

— bnha abc's: hitoshi shinsou [angst edition].

well, finally the angst! i have no idea what character i’ll do next but we shall see...

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

ɴsғᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ | ғʟᴜғғ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ

⤑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

A- Accident, Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

∴ unless he was the reason you were involved then no. ∴ he wouldn’t search for correlation to himself in the event of an accident. ∴ he’s not looking to throw a pity party for himself. ∴ you were the one who was dead, after all.

B- Break up, How would they deal with one?

∴ it depends on the relationship. ∴ if it was long term, a few years together then he’s pretty broken up about it ∴ and will probably take a while to get himself back on the market ∴ but a relationship that’s only been a handful of months ∴ he figures it’s best to just move on from it.

C-Crying, Are they much of a crier?

∴ no not at all, really. ∴ sure, he feels sad but tears never fall from his eyes. ∴ however, if there is something traumatic that happens. ∴ he may shed a few tears into his pillow as he goes to sleep.

D-Death, How do they deal with any death?

∴ pretty well, actually ∴ he finds a way to cope so he can move on as quickly as possible ∴ that’s not to say he doesn’t mourn or just erase their memory ∴ he just moves to work past being broken up about it ∴ he doesn’t want to go through his days with the heavy weight of a death on his mind ∴ the type of guy to visit graves and leave flowers for his loved ones once a month.

E-Emotion, What’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?

∴ anger. ∴ he doesn’t like to be angry and he doesn’t like to show anyone his anger ∴ that’s not always possible so he’ll remove himself from situations that make him angry ∴ he’ll go somewhere private where he can let his anger out without prying eyes. ∴ he feels like shit after losing his temper so he’ll apologize or you’ll have to console him and let him know it’s okay to be angry ∴ he’s human and bottling it up isn’t healthy ∴ he agrees but...tbh nothing changes.

F-Frustrated, How much would it take to push them off the edge?

∴ it truly depends. ∴ day-to-day, he doesn’t really get ticked off or upset easily ∴ he’s pretty patient tbh ∴ but in an event where he worked hard for something ∴ or he really, really had a drive to do something (like get into the hero course) ∴ and he fails to do it ∴ he is pretty easily set off. ∴ but he pushes past and works 10x harder than before until he accomplishes his goal. ∴ he’s a driven man.

G-Great Pain, What is the most painful thing they have witnessed?

∴ when he became a pro, the first time he failed to defeat a villain ∴ and many civilians perished as a result ∴ it’s something that absolutely haunts him. ∴ he had nightmares for weeks afterwards ∴ he fully went to a therapist ∴ like he was fucked up over it ∴ to this day, if he’s reminded of it he will literally get so anxious and depressed, even though he’s seen lots of casualties since then ∴ it was just that first failure that fucks him up.

H-Humiliation, How could they be humiliated?

∴ being cheated on. ∴ the idea that he wasn’t good enough, to the point his lover had to find someone else. ∴ that really damages his sense of self worth and self esteem which is already a bit low to begin with. ∴ he’d feel like there was something wrong with him and now everyone knew he was defective.

I-Injured, How do they handle themselves when injured?

∴ very calm and collected. ∴ he figures there’s no real reason to lose his head over it. ∴ panicking will only make the situation worse. ∴ if it’s a bad injury, he’ll seek help as fast as he can. ∴ if its a superficial wound he’ll probably handle it himself.

J-Jittery, Which part of their past makes them flinch or even worked up?

∴ his childhood. ∴ he was the target for teasing and bullying due to his quirk. ∴ so if anything reminds him of those times, he gets really down ∴ he doesn’t like spiral into depression or anything ∴ but he’ll feel anxious and self conscious until the moment passes

K-Kill, Would they kill for revenge?

∴ no, never. ∴ he’s worked so hard to become a pro hero that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize it by some sort of misconduct as that. ∴ also, he has been accused of having potential to become a villain ∴ and he doesn’t want to give anyone ammunition for that.

L- Loss, What was their greatest loss?

∴ he hasn’t actually experienced much loss in terms of losing anyone to death. ∴ when he was a child, he had a friend before his quirk manifested ∴ and accidentally used it on them, unsure of how to control it ∴ and it scared the other boy so bad he stopped being friends with him ∴ that hurt shinsou pretty badly. ∴ he also probably lost a pet dog, which was traumatic because of how much he depended on the furry animal for comfort

M- Mistakes, How much do they want to fix the mistakes of their past?

∴ shinsou isn’t the type of person who will do things that have the potential for regret ∴ he thinks his decisions over thoroughly and runs through all options before choosing the most logical one ∴ of course, he fucks up sometimes but ∴ he stands by his decisions, confident that he did the best possible thing he could have. ∴ being a pro hero doesn’t allow for him to regret things -- if he stops to mourn every civilian loss, for example, he would only be run into the ground. ∴ that doesn’t help anyone.

N-Need, How would they react if you needed emergency surgery?

∴ calm and collected ∴ especially if you’re scared ∴ then he’s going to make sure he’s a pillar for you to lean on ∴ that’s not to say on the inside he isn’t losing his mind ∴ bc he def is ∴ he just finds it counterproductive to stress you out while you’re already scared of the surgery ∴ it would get neither of you anywhere good ∴ once you’re in surgery, he’d be anxious as he waited. ∴ he’s check the time and refuse to leave the hospital until the doctor announces you’re safe.

O-Outrage, What makes them angry?

∴ betrayal. ∴ shinsou, when he trusts, he trusts hard. ∴ he puts his faith into them and expects them to stand by his side ∴ so if, for example, you used an insecurity of his against him in an argument. ∴ or cheated on him. ∴ or spilled a secret he told you in confidence ∴ he will be pissed. depending on how bad it was, he’s liable to break up with you. ∴ naturally, once his trust is broken, however, it’s near impossible to fix ∴ so good luck getting your relationship back to how it used to be lol

P-Pressure, What stresses them out to the breaking point?

∴ training ∴ he works hard to better himself to become the best hero possible ∴ but it stresses him out that he’s not improving fast enough, he’s not doing enough, he’s falling behind others ∴ he’s really hard on himself and his drive only makes the thought of failure terrifying to him. ∴ he doesn’t want to fuck up and lose his chance at his dream.

Q- Qualify, What part of themselves do they see as dangerous?

∴ his quirk, naturally. ∴ it’s a pretty dangerous quirk but ∴ truthfully, everyone’s quirk is dangerous in some way. ∴ it’s just that he’s always been trated as if his quirk was the worst possible outcome he could have been born with. ∴ so he feels like his quirk is the Most Dangerous.

R-Rock, What weighs them down?

∴ the idea that his quirk, very well could be a villains quirk. ∴ he worries that he might abuse it by accident and fuck everything up ∴ his quirk is different from combat quirks or rescue quirks ∴ he can control people. he can lock them into their own minds and force their bodies to do anything he wants without having to lift a finger. and there’s nothing they can do it about it. ∴ that scares him. ∴ it’s such a powerful quirk ∴ and it’d be so easy to abuse it ∴ he worries about his own morality at times, due to all the times he’s been called a villain ∴ it makes him doubt himself even though he knows himself better than that.

S-Sorrow, Would they feel empty after your death?

∴ very much so. ∴ shinsou is the type who gives himself completely to relationships ∴ whether it’s platonic or romantic, he puts 100% in. ∴ so to lose someone he had cared for so completely ∴ leaves him with a devastating emptiness ∴ he’s not going to know how to fill the gap your presence left behind for a long time.

T-Time, What if they had a limited time to live?

∴ he wouldn’t panic ∴ he’d spend the time doing everything he needed to do ∴ like see his mother, hang out with his friends, eat his favorite food, spend a night with you ∴ he’d be determined to make sure he wouldn’t regret wasting the time he had left ∴ so he does everything he feels is necessary for having the happiest time that he has left.

U-Urge, How badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?

∴ on a day to day basis, not much ∴ he’s very good at occupying his mind and thinking logically about whether it makes sense to see you or not. ∴ most of the time it’s not. ∴ he’s not the type to go crawling back to his ex unless it’s something he needs to fix with you. ∴ but at night, when he cant sleep ∴ his mind will automatically wander to you ∴ thinking about how it felt when just a few days, weeks, months ago you were curled up beside him in bed.

V-Vent, How do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?

∴ he’s actually really damn good at communication ∴ he is so good at just talking things through ∴ it helps him sort his thoughts and it keeps him calm, rather than getting worked up and upset ∴ he prefers to have healthy ways to release his negative emotions

W-Wild card, A random angst headcannon.

∴ when the bullying over his quirk got worse the older he got ∴ as people started to look at him like he was going to harm them ∴ he got frustrated, angry even ∴ he went off on his mom -- blaming her for giving him such a shitty, terrible quirk ∴ he said some extremely hurtful things in his anger ∴ and the picture of his mom’s hurt face over his words drives him insane ∴ to this day, he still feels like he’s trying to make it up to her. ∴ truthfully, it’s been forgiven and forgotten for a long time but ∴ he doesn’t believe he deserves that just yet.

X- X-ray, What makes them transparent? How obvious can they get around something they hate?

∴ you really will not know when this guy hates you ∴ he seems to have mostly just, cold indifference to majority of people ∴ so him hating you; being ignored or treated coldly ∴ will literally not even make you feel hated ∴ it just seems like his default ∴ he’s pretty open about his opinions though ∴ so if you talk about something and ask what he thinks of it ∴ if he hates it, like a movie, he’ll just come right out and say it tbh ∴ so he’s like 50/50 transparent.

Y-Yearning, Do old memories make them yearn for your touch?

∴ yes. ∴ shinsou is the type of guy to look through his phone at old texts and pictures ∴ when he lies in bed at night, he thinks of his fondest memories ∴ he won’t actively seek you out if it’s not logical -- like if you’re an ex. ∴ but if you’re available for him, he’ll seek you out with a deep craving for you. ∴ he wants to make more memories while he can.

Z-Zest, Add your own letters!

[Parents Headcanon] ∴ when he was a baby, his father left him and his mom ∴ that left his mom to take care of a baby all on her own ∴ she was a young mom too, had him pretty early in life; about 18 or so. ∴ so she struggled really badly ∴ he regrets all the trouble he gave her when he was naive to the struggles of parenthood ∴ once he got older and realized how much his mom did for him ∴ he began to work hard around the house so she could relax when she got home from work, cooked dinner, and never asked for anything he didn’t absolutely need ∴ he absolutely adores his mom ∴ and the idea of ever being without her terrifies him.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

#bnha x reader #shinsou x reader #bnha imagines #mha x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou imagines #mha imagines #shinsou.headcanons #bnha.headcanons

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sirenspells · 4 years ago

Text

Plume of Dusk Minato AU Plot Summary 1/?

Minato and Hamuko Arisato, 8-year-old twin brother and sister, are living in an orphanage after their parents die in a car crash on the Moonlight Bridge. After this traumatizing event, the twins are closer than ever before, and rarely are they ever seen straying from the other’s side.

One day, a strange long-haired man visited the orphanage, and would continue to do so over the next few days. Hamuko couldn’t help but notice how much attention he paid to Minato specifically, and she would always attempt to shield her brother from the man’s vision if she noticed he was there.

Minato was eventually approached by those working in the orphanage, and was told that he would be leaving with that same strange man. Minato and Hamuko protested, desperately asking why Minato was being taken away, and why Hamuko couldn’t go with him, but their pleas were largely ignored. Before Minato was to leave, the twins tightly embraced, and the two promised each other that they would see each other again.

(Warning: very long post under the cut)

The man, who Minato soon learned was named Ikutsuki, took Minato to a laboratory. Surrounded by adults in lab coats, talking in words he couldn’t understand, Minato was terrified, and wanted nothing more than to go back to Hamuko.

Right before blacking out on an operating table, he saw the researchers holding a blue crystal-like object, which they appeared to handle with absolute care.

When Minato woke up, his head hurting and covered in bandages, he was barely given time to recover before he was thrown into some strange arena, and forced to fight these weird creatures, “Shadows”, he’d heard the researchers call. Being only given a sword, one he could barely hold up, he could do nothing but flee from the Shadows’ attacks, until the researchers had had enough fun with him.

As Minato tried desperately that night to fall asleep, he wished that something, anything, could get him out of this place, and back into his sister’s loving embrace.

In Minato’s dream, he was in a vast and empty blue space, with nothing in sight as far as the eye could see. Minato cautiously called out, asking if anyone was there. As he’d expected, no one returned his call. He was alone...

A voice then replied, asking if Minato could hear it. The voice sounded young, very similar to Minato’s own, but it wasn’t coming from any visible source. Minato, frightened, asked who was there.

The voice told him that it was the plume of dusk that the researchers had implanted inside Minato’s brain, and due to this, it now resides within Minato’s mind. Minato asked the voice more questions for clarification, like what exactly a plume of dusk was. When Minato asked it why the researchers wanted to do all this to him, the plume of dusk couldn’t provide an answer, still being new to humans and how exactly they operate. However, it promised that as long as it was residing within Minato’s head, it would try to help him with whatever he needed help with.

As Minato soon learned, the plume of dusk could communicate with him in the real world, as a voice in Minato’s head. The plume of dusk tried to help him in the arena battles, telling Minato when to dodge and how to at least get off some hits with his sword. Though it still wasn’t much, it was still something. The plume of dusk, through listening to the researchers, learned that the point of the researchers implanting a plume of dusk inside Minato was to get him to awaken to a Persona.

As time went on, the plume of dusk started to become more human, even creating a human projection of himself within Minato’s dreams (his human appearance looks like Pharos, but he’s never actually called that).

The researchers finally got their wish when, after being cornered by a particularly fearsome Shadow, Minato finally awakens to his Persona, Orpheus. Unbeknownst to the researchers, however, the plume of dusk had nothing to do with this awakening happening. Orpheus awakened due to extreme stress, and it would’ve happened regardless of the plume of dusk being there or not. Nevertheless, they excitedly announced the experiment a success, but that wouldn’t mean they were quite done with Minato yet.

Meanwhile, Minato decided that the plume of dusk deserved a name, and settled on calling him Ryoji. Ryoji couldn’t be happier with it, especially since Ryoji’s surprised at how much Minato cares about him like he’s an actual person.

The first time Ryoji controls Minato’s body is when a Shadow appears to be near impervious to Orpheus’ fire spells, so Ryoji tells Minato how to switch with him. As it turns out, Ryoji can summon a Persona of his own, Thanatos, which defeats the Shadow with ease. The researchers are shocked, wondering how this subject was seemingly able to summon two Personas. Ryoji, still in Minato’s body, explains everything to them. The researchers now find themselves with a very interesting subject, with Ikutsuki especially being excited about how powerful the two can be.

(breaking away from the seriousness for a bit, Minato asks Ryoji why the latter never told him that he could summon a Persona. Ryoji’s response is “you didn’t ask”, which is the same response Sophia gives in p5strikers when asked the same question. Non-human minds think alike I guess.)

Minato and Ryoji’s success rate in defeating Shadows is better than ever. With their ability to switch who’s controlling Minato’s body, one’s Persona can cover weaknesses that the other can’t. As well, Minato’s physical fighting skills also improve, mostly from watching Ryoji, who is a naturally good fighter.

About a year has passed since Minato was first taken to the laboratory by this point, but he still thinks about Hamuko, and wonders how she’s doing without him. Minato’s resentment towards Ikutsuki is not something he hides from Ryoji, so Ryoji is aware that Ikutsuki is the reason Minato was put into this situation.

Over time, Minato’s desire to leave and find Hamuko becomes very strong, and he finds himself crying in front of Ryoji in his mindscape one night, venting that it’s all Ikutsuki’s fault that he and Hamuko are separated. Ryoji desperately thinks of a way to make Minato happy. Eventually, Ryoji comes to the conclusion that if Ikutsuki is the reason Minato is in pain, then getting rid of Ikutsuki would make him happy. So Ryoji decides he’s going to kill Ikutsuki.

Ryoji takes over Minato’s body and wakes up, and leaves the room to find Ikutsuki. Some researchers try to stop him from leaving, and they realize they’re in trouble when Ryoji summons his Persona to get them out of the way, so he isn’t playing around. As Ryoji searches the lab, trying to find Ikutsuki, Minato realizes what is happening and tries to tell him to stop, but Ryoji insists that he is doing what is best for Minato.

(And Ryoji’s right Ikutsuki’s a little bitch lmao)

When Ryoji finally finds Ikutsuki, he doesn’t hesitate. Thanatos holds Ikutsuki up by the neck, and attempts to choke him. As this is happening, Minato keeps telling Ryoji to stop, saying that he did not want to kill anyone, but Ryoji isn’t yielding, so Minato tries to forcefully rip control away from him. It works, Minato takes control back, and Thanatos immediately disappears, dropping Ikutsuki. He isn’t dead, but gasping for breath after nearly being choked to death. Some researchers force Minato back into his room.

Later, after Ikutsuki’s been given some time to recover, Minato overhears him telling the researchers that they will be removing the plume of dusk, deeming it too dangerous and unstable, and hoping that Minato will still retain his Persona. Minato, not wanting this to happen, asks Ryoji what they will do. Ryoji doesn’t respond however, and Minato realizes that he’s been silent ever since Minato forcefully took back control to stop him.

Minato realizes he’s on his own for now, and finally decides that he has to escape this place. Using Orpheus’ powers, he’s able to make a hole in the wall that he can jump through into the outside world, and Minato runs far away from that lab as fast as he can, finally stopping to sleep on the ground when he thinks he’s safe.

The next morning, Minato tries again to talk to Ryoji, but he’s still met with silence. Minato finds his way to a city, and he sorta just wanders around for a bit. By this point, he’s realized that finding Hamuko will be near impossible, since Minato’s now in a different area than the one that the orphanage was located in, and even then, there’s a possibility that Hamuko’s not even there anymore.

As Minato prepares to try and sleep on the hard cement ground, he makes one last plea to Ryoji to say something, to at least give a sign that he’s still there. That night in his dreams, Ryoji appears before Minato, but with his back to him.

Ryoji apologizes for trying to kill Ikutsuki, and for not stopping when Minato told him to. He insists that the researchers are right, he is dangerous and deserved to be removed, and it seems that he intends on disappearing for good. Minato isn’t letting that happen, though, and runs up and hugs Ryoji. Minato tells Ryoji that he is Minato’s best friend, and that Minato doesn’t want him to disappear, he wants him to stay with him.

Ryoji is once again shocked that Minato sees him as like a real person, but his heart is warmed by that fact. Much to Minato’s relief, Ryoji decides to stay, and the two set up a loose rule for Ryoji: he can only take over Minato’s body if Minato allows him to, and he has to give control back to Minato when he wants it.

The next night, Minato happens to stay up until midnight and for the first time, he and Ryoji witness the Dark Hour. They investigate more as time goes on, and they learn that they appear to be the only ones awake during this time. Minato uses this to steal food from stores, as, being homeless, it is the only way he can possibly survive.

There’s a three year time skip, so Minato is now 12, and he is approached by three people during the Dark Hour, two boys and a girl. The boy with long hair introduces himself as Takaya, with the other boy being Jin and the girl being Chidori. Jin reveals that he’s investigated the Kirijo Group’s records and has discovered nearly everything about Minato, namely that he holds another soul within him and that he is a persona-user.

Takaya makes an offer to Minato, an offer to join their group, called Strega. Takaya gives a vague description of what they do, that they take requests on the internet that they perform during the Dark Hour for profit. When Minato asks why this offer is being made to him, Takaya tells him that, as a fellow child who was experimented on, they thought he’d like for a place to finally belong, instead of just living out his days alone on the streets for the rest of his life.

Minato decides to take their offer, and joins Strega. Takaya says that they’ll go into more detail on what they do tomorrow, and to not expect Ryoji to be exempt, as they’d like to be formally introduced to him as well.

Once they leave, Minato tries to get some sleep. He hopes that he doesn’t regret the choice that he just made.

#persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #ryoji mochizuki #shuji ikutsuki #eh Hamuko’s not major so I won’t tag her #anyway I was gonna write a fic on all this (in fact I already did but it’s the first draft)#but honestly writing it hasn’t been fun but I want y’all to know the story anyway so #here it is #plume of dusk minato au #siren speaks #I should do this for all my aus writing fics is hard /hj #ahhh watch me hate this the moment it’s posted and delete it. hoping to god that doesn’t happen @ future me #long post #<for the sake of scrolling through my blog or smth m

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shiishki · 4 years ago

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okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)

oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny

honeypie - jawny

pretty young thing - michael jackson

mirrors - justin timberlake

sunflower - red orange county

paradise - rude-a

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

a therapist.

ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...

*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english

"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book

4: What do you think about most?

the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer

7: What’s your strangest talent?

not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are pretty. boys are pretty

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

uhh i think last month?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

yep, beloved legos as a lil child

13: What’s your religion?

i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know what i want

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, the rule of three specifically

19: What does your URL mean?

i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

they be chilling.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

i dunno tbh

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

which one is less homophobic?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make it easier for people down the line

36: Define Art.

make thing, thing goes woo

37: Do you believe in luck?

yis

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze

39: What time is it?

12.59 am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.

41: What was the last book you read?

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

many variations of my name, aka. Luce

44: What was the last film you saw?

i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

once, years ago

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

hmmm horizon zero dawn i think

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

proud pansexual ^^

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh

50: Do you believe in magic?

yis

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.

52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer ♋

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i attempt saving. attempt

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc

55: Love or lust?

luv

56: In a relationship?

nope, i buy my own cookies

57: How many relationships have you had?

1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nu ><

59: Where were you yesterday?

on the fields walking my doggo

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yis, thicc warm socks

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

cuddles and food.

64: Where is your best friend?

bold of you to assume i have a best friend.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector

66: What is your heritage?

I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, trying to sleep.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Pinkton. or Satan.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

history maker - dean fujioka :]

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3332

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

communication, trust, some more communication.

77: How can I win your heart?

let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

demon boi

82: What is your favourite word?

socks.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

blinding lights - the weeknd

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this. this is the question.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO

uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not any that i know of o.o

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

i think i may have but i honestly don't remember

98: Ever been on a plane?

nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

yeet.

#that was long #probably because my stubborn ass wanted to make pretty formatting #shiishki.rambles #shiishki.interacts with tommie

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nyrator · 3 years ago

Text

Random updatess

Been in a weird spot mentally, lately...

I think it’s safe to say I’ve been single again for a long while, but lots of concerning stuff related to that has been going on which has me concerned- not much I should probably say publicly, but nothing I can really do about it except suppress my anxiety over it and hope for the best. People are complicated and impossible to understand.

Or maybe I should speak up about it a bit, since he’s gone and nothing really holding me back, but it’s a weird and long-going situation. In short, I’m not comfortable around people and am an extreme introvert, but he was someone who really latched onto me.. but he couldn’t stop needing me even after we stopped being together, a dependency in my eyes but maybe I was just assuming, and I had to force space between us in hopes he’d stop focusing on me so much. Too kind, too overbearing. Seems it worked, and now he’s almost completely vanished from everything before I could start up communication again. Maybe he just removed himself from anything that reminds him of me, or maybe it’s a sign of something worse. He has a lot of things he’s dealing with I can’t help with, and all I can do is just hope for the best I guess. But ultimately, I don’t think we were healthy for each other. I still consider him a great person, at least, and it’d be nice if we could have a semi-normal connection sometime in the future still.

I did get the RN site off of him before he vanished a few days ago, which was kind of him (he made it and paid for it, but I’m paying for it now), neither me nor any of our other friends have heard from him since. We’re apart, and he doesn’t owe me anything, but it would be nice if he communicated what he was doing and why with people more. Guess all we can do is see.

Anyway, I guess that’s enough about that. I know too many people with tough lives that weigh my own heart down too much.

In other news, I’ve been dealing with my “complex” again too much. Complex, personal issue, childhood trauma, whatever it is. It’s bothering me a strong amount, but I know most of it is in my head- I just can’t escape reminders of it. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it in detail in public, either. I’m starting to express it in RN, but I have fears that I’ll end up repulsing and alienating people around me because of it- like it’s sullying anything I involve it in.

It’s linked very much to self-hatred, my depression, and a lot of things in my life in general- and I’m given constant reminders of it from the moment I wake up, it’s controlling me, it feels like, and I don’t know how to cope with it properly. I have a private vent Twitter dedicated to venting about it at this point, but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping at all.

Otherwise- Life is dreadfully uneventful. I started playing No More Heroes to kill time- beat the first game again 100% on Bitter, and beat the second game on Bitter as well (didn’t do that boss rush mode or unlock Special in BJ5 game, though). First game is much better than the second game, by far. I’ll have to get back into TSA and then 3 someday, took a break to draw some Lave in pajamas.

I really like sleep aesthetics, but my complex is so interwoven with that too that I feel like it’s corrupting it. But Lave’s an autobiographical-ish character, after all, so I guess it’s okay to have it woven into them as well- I still feel like it’s going to drive people away from liking them, though, and probably fairly so.

Still haven’t even tried looking for a job, and I haven’t been moving much at all lately- treadmill’s just collecting dust. Only today did I finally get rid of about half of my mother’s things, and only because there’s an inspection on Friday and I’m embarrassed by how packed all this junk still is. It wasn’t a far or even stressful of a drive to the donation bin (it’s right by my grocery store), but my nerves still almost made me wet myself again. I can’t stand it. Part of me wants to drive my friends to an arcade for my birthday and see if I can better adjust, but that’s almost three hours away, there’s no way I can see myself making it reasonably.

It’s really hard, living without drive or purpose. I still have no urge to work on any of my projects at all, it’s like I’ve completely given up on myself to do anything.

It’s really nice hearing from friends on here from time to time, even if I do nothing to show my appreciation or make an effort to return the feeling. Tumblr’s been pretty inactive for me, but there’s still some familiar faces I always like seeing.

I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I have no energy to do anything nor any real reason to feel a need to. I can’t even keep the apartment clean from my cats, or stay on top of garbage or laundry.

The one thing I want to do is practice talking more and maybe stream, but it feels like a dead end, honestly. I want to train my voice to be more professional and to a certain standard I have for it that I’m not even sure I can reach, but I have no real way of practicing. Maybe get some nicer clothes as well, but I don’t even go anywhere. I just feel weird with how I dress and worry about embarrassing my friends by being seen with me or something, as silly as it is.

I apologize for the depressing Ny-rant-y stuffs, just one of those kinds of times lately. I haven’t had anywhere to vent lately, and I don’t want to keep bottling it all up, either.

#text stuffs #nyrants #a bit of a negative feel-y mood one again I apologize

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wxldchxld · 3 years ago

Text

Life Update/Vent

I’m not taking an official hiatus, I just wanted to kinda talk about where I’m at currently and what all has been going on in my life.

I’m having a really hard time keeping track of my threads currently. And while I know a lot of your responses will be like “use a thread tracker” or draft everything that’s just not... plausible atm. I don’t have the emotional spoons for that kind of task and it’s honestly really overwhelming, and even when I attempt to get people to tell me what threads we’re missing only about three people respond to me, which makes it even harder for me to get my shit together. And that’s not a blame thing, I just get really easily distracted and even looking for old threads can be next to impossible. Again, no one’s fault but my own, but it is where I’m at right now.

And I’m gonna put the rest of this under a cut. Just kind of telling y’all what is going on in my life and why writing is hard right now in case you’re interested or you’re thinking my lack of engagement is about a lack of desire to interact.

So I knew at the start of the summer I was going to go for some pretty intensive psychoanalytical testing. Over the years of working with autistic students, I noticed a lot of similar behavior patterns in myself. Issues with social interaction, sensory processing, emotional regulation, etc. After much reassurance from my therapist I agreed to go in for formal psychological testing. I came to her with my suspicions and got very lucky in scheduling.

Right out of the gate my summer was filled with anxiety about what was going to happen and how things would go at the intake, and then after the intake was done my anxiety ramped up about the testing. The testing was extremely emotionally taxing. It took hours and was very repetitive and just overall didn’t make me feel good about myself. I felt like every time they repeated a question about depression or anxiety that I was falling even deeper into the pit of self loathing. But I told myself that if these tests could help me get extended insurance coverage for therapy and some correct medication then all of it would be worth it. Well then before I even had the chance to recover from the experience of testing, I found myself getting extremely anxious about the results of the test and if I’d messed anything up. Not to mention during this time my family from out of town was here for nearly two weeks, and I had to do a hands on crisis management training (where I had to touch and be touched a LOT).

So honestly, while I haven’t being doing a lot from day to day this summer, emotionally I’ve had so much going on that if I’m not in near tears from anxiety I’ve gone completely numb and can’t get out of bed.

Today I got the results for my testing and I just have a lot of mixed feelings about it. I found out that the woman testing me (who I thought was just passing time on her phone ignoring me) was actually watching me the whole time and taking notes on me and while I think the report was meant to sound clinical there was some language in it that kind of feels untrue and dismissive. At one point it says I blame a lot of my issues on my parents. Which isn’t false, but it is weird language when I have years of documented treatment for chronic PTSD due to childhood abuse from those parents.

They also took away my diagnosis for OCD and Idk how I’m going to wrap my head around that. I’ve had this diagnosis for years and I feel like it really accurately describes me and my experiences. And the clinician flat out told me that the tests strongly indicated toward obsessive compulsive disorder as well as obsessive compulsive personality disorder, but that she didn’t put that in her diagnosis because “I already had 4 diagnoses and adding any more was too many.” And not only does that kind of throw me for a loop in terms of where I stand but it also concerns me about the accuracy of my diagnoses if real results were discounted just because she didn’t want to go “overboard.”

This is honestly a lot. I’ve gone from feeling pretty neutral about the information I’ve gotten, to being optimistic about it, and now to feeling kind of shitty about a few things after reading the full report myself and not just having it summarized.

And I say all this possibly just because I have no one that I can really talk to about it and I need to get my thoughts down because it’ll be nearly a week before I get to a therapist, but I also need you guys to understand I’m just in a trash emotional space. I also found out that the people who preformed my testing don’t provide psychiatric care so I have to go through contacting more people, getting another intake with someone, and going through all of this before I potentially find any medication that could help relieve my stress. And to top it all off school starts back in a week.

So I’m very sorry on multiple levels. I’ve been a flaky communicator and dropped the ball on talking to several of the people I call friends on here. I’ve lost things. I’ve dropped threads. The only replies I can get to are the ones directly sitting on top of my draft pile because they’re the easiest ones to find/respond to. I hope you understand the problem is just with me and my very low tolerance for my every day life experience lmao. I appreciate those of you who are supportive of me, who talk to me and reach out and are patient. I haven’t left tumblr, I have no intention of leaving tumblr, and I love my threads and my partners very much. Life’s just hard folks. And I’m sorry.

#negativity cw #i don't know what else to tag this with so if anyone #needs me to put an extra tw or cw please lmk

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elmo-is-a-forgotten-god · 4 years ago

Text

TW:// mentions of death, brief family dynamics mention, losing a friend

For context this happened late last night and I’ve been trying to get as many details as possible here.

Don’t feel obligated to read this. I know it’s long.

I recently had a friend unfriend me and I wanted to vent about that a little bit. This is really long, only read it if you really want to I just really need to talk about it somewhere else.

I am also sharing this stuff so you all understand me a bit better as a person. Because it is even more challenging for me online and I don’t want to lose any more friends, especially online friends because I can’t talk to you all in person.

——————————————————————————

They have been known to do this to other people and everyone who it has happened to has still remained on the shit list. They screamed at me for over an hour on the phone because I was “a shit friend these past couple weeks or so.” They cited specific days where I didn’t answer them until later in the day and one specific day where they were stressed with school and wanted me to be there so they could vent and I could help them.

I tried explaining to them what was going on but I just ended up crying (I don’t normally cry a lot if that give you any idea how bad it was) and I didn’t get the words out. Mainly for a reason I’ll explain later but also because they sounded just like my dad when he yells and I just sorta shut down.

——————————————————————————

Now they blocked and deleted my number and blocked me on all social media. (Our mutual friends told me.). They apparently told most of our friends what a piece of shit I am and a couple other people blocked me. They wrote a whole fucking essay about it but here’s the sparknotes:

-I go through periods of time where I am not a fun person to talk to, and they like me a lot better when I don’t have an “attitude”.

They specifically cited last year from late summer to winter, you’ll see why this is important.

-last year and this year I’ve “ghosted” people around the holiday season when I know it is rough for some people.

I try to check up on my friends when I know they are going through some shit, I try to send them useful stuff as well, everyone know that.

-I am too overly blunt and honest and not good at helping people with their issues.

I know I’m too blunt and honest , and you know what? I fuck up sometimes, but I usually don’t mean anything by it I’m just trying to help. As for helping people with their issues, if I wasn’t good at it why the fuck did they come to me in the first place.

-I have a perfect life, nothing bad ever happens to me and I’m nothing but a privileged asshole who doesn’t deserve to have a friend like them. I don’t know what it’s like to go through something difficult.

I’m not going to comment on this, I know I’m privileged, but I try to do good things with it.

-I pay way too much attention to my self and I am a “self centered piece of shit for not answering their messages that one day and for not being as fast with my responses as I normally am.”

You’ll see why this was a fucked up thing to say to me in a bit, I’m just writing this out very slowly and trying to avoid that part.

-I talk about myself too much when people come to me with advice, and people “shouldn’t come to me with advice or have to take that bullshit” because I am “undeserving of being in the loop about someone’s personal issues.”

This came up because one of our friends came to me with an issue instead of them. I know I often relate things back to me I didn’t think that was a bad thing because no one told me and that is just how I help myself understand what someone is going through, but I’ll stop doing that.

-Saying things like “I need to remove myself from this area.” Is extremely disrespectful to the rest of our friend group (I literally only go by myself it doesn’t affect them). For context my adhd is extremely severe to the point it’s considered to be a learning disability, what they are referencing is when I leave to go somewhere else because I am overwhelmed and overstimulated. They literally said and I quote “that shit is total fucking bull and you know it, I have adhd too, and I’m saying you’re fucking faking.”

First off they don’t have a formal medical diagnosis, just a suspicion, they haven’t even talked to their doctor about it. Not to mention everyone is different based off of severity and which symptoms are actually present. As part of my testing we opted for the comprehensive test to look at the severity of my adhd before moving on to being treated. In that test they observed me over the course of several hours to see how I reacted to different things. The things that were expected to be the worst symptoms for me were :

difficulty understanding and relating to others (one of my strategies I was told would help is to relate others experiences to mine)

difficulty in communication; reading directly off of my sheet and I quote “Emma was observed having a difficult time using nuance and understanding when was and was not the correct time to say something. Emma’s parents describe her as: extremely blunt to the point where it can be abrasive.”

sensory: specifically when things are too quiet, I also have an issue with overly bright lighting, and when I am very overwhelmed there is only a few people who I will let touch me when I’m “wigging out”

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I know I am privileged, but I really try to use that privilege to do good things and I didn’t know that I act uptight or like a dick in that way. If I do it’s either a joke or not intentional and I apologize.

That being said, just because I am privileged doesn’t mean my life is perfect and it doesn’t mean bad things don’t happen to me, it’s beyond fucked up to think that.

(The color for things related to this)

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A lot of the things they talked about are things they know I am insecure about to begin with and they know I am working on it. Most of them are literal symptoms of my adhd and things I struggle with on the fucking daily. I’m making them a different color so you can see what I’m talking about. Here’s the adhd related color.

——————————————————————————

Now. Some of the other things they listed were in direct relation to my grandma passing away. If you know me, you know my grandma and I were very close and she in a way was like a lot like a parent to me. She had cancer and dementia and her health started a major decline in August of 2019, I spent a lot of time with her during this time and I was constantly stressed and worried about her. I didn’t really talk a lot about it because it’s hard for me to think about but I know this friend knew about this for a goddamn fact.

This relates to this because the period of time when I had “attitude” and “wasn’t a fun person to be around” was when we found out she would have 3 months if she was lucky, I spent every day with her during this time. Yeah I think watching someone slowly die and forget who you are is reason enough to be a bit not talkitive or please not.

My grandma died on December 4th 2019. The main reason my friend snapped was because I wasn’t their to help them with their stress on December 4th 2020. (They had screenshots). They yelled at me for over an hour because of the reasons of above and mainly, MAINLY, because I didn’t text them back fast on the anniversary of my grandmas death. I WAS AT THE FUCKING CEMETARY ASSHOLE DONT YELL AT ME FOR NOT RESPONDING RIGHT AWAY.

(This is the color for things related to this)

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I’m sorry this was really long but I’m just having a rough day. I thought I could trust this person and I thought we were ok, I just wish that someone would tell everyone this, but the people that blocked me also blocked my best friends.

If you have a problem with my behavior in any way, please talk to me before something like this happens. And please know that if I seem overly blunt or like I’m trying to steal the spotlight, just know that I don’t mean to and it doesn’t come from a place of malice. I don’t want to lose any more friends.

I know I fuck up, but there is reason behind it, but unfriending someone who you’ve been friends with for 7 years because they didn’t text you back from the cemetary is fucked up, I’m pretty sure anyone can see that much.

High school drama is fucking bullshit, I hate it here.

#vent #venting #high school drama #high school drama bullshit #toxic friends #adhd #this was really fucked up #not a shitpost #not a joke #long post sorry

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jess-the-vampire · 5 years ago

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Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 33

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"So, the trial has been announced tomorrow huh? They.....it's sooner then I thought.".

Judas sipped on some demonade as he rested his head against his fist, "I guess they didn't want to waste any longer on this, no point in it...the commission won't be the judges...they'll just be going over the event putting out evidence....it'll be a sloppy mewnian trial....considering...this place ain't as organized or clean as earth's...especially with magic and stuff. The biggest issue though is while thankfully the commission are not allowed to judge, well....they chose people that might be harder to convince....the other leaders of the kingdoms....".

"Our parents are judging?!", she almost spit out her taco, before taking a swing of chocolate milk, "That's....are we sure it's worse? The high commission are pretty bad to go against these days, even if they're trying to be better...". But Judas nodded, "Here's the thing, my parents told me they had a meeting with all the representatives, well the kings and queens, of the other affected mewni kingdoms, and they've decided this matter is more universal to the kingdoms then magic...which is where the high commission stands...and should stand, angel's crimes weren't well...they weren't on magic...they were against the kingdoms...so they thought it fair they were the ones to judge him...".

"Guess that does make sense...they were the ones he kinda messed with the most...".

"And.....look, even if we convince our parents, we have to convince most of the others as well, the pigeons, the spiderbites, the jaggs, the ponyheads....i mean loki was turned into a mindslave for this woman...thing...and they're going to just forgive him for it? The queen would probably rather stab him with her horn, even if she sucks as a parent and how much she cares about loki is on the fence.", he tugged at his hair, "Sunny did manage to meet with me for a few minutes today after she found out, these kinds of trials are rare....mostly because the High Commission for a long time handled these kinda crimes and the kingdoms rarely had the time...but their distrust in them has made this outcome more desired since every kingdom gets to have their imput.".

"They're not brutal enough to...exile him...right?".

"Unless they're all from the johansen clan, probably not...he's too young...but they're still going to be a challenge to convince not to dethrone him....I mean Angel getting involved put them all in jeopardy, your mom had to give them all magical security to make them feel better and safer. And if he hadn't been involved she might've been caught right away and saved them so much time and money and panic, angel's not exactly the most popular guy in mewni, i mean...none of us are...but...he's in the worst position right now...he's in a vulnerable position for people who already hate him to take their revenge on him.".

Sky put her food down, staring down at it as if it was the most interesting thing at the table.

She didn't want to speak up about it, but she had such an urge to and she had to force it out.

"Is he....ok?".

"Angel?", judas looked to her, surprised at first but sky could tell judas knew how much sky actually did care for the prince's well being.

"Yeah...".

"Well.....", he put down his drink, crossing his arms on the table and relaxing his shoulders, "He...didn't react much to the news, I guess there's not much for him to react to, he knew he was going to on trial and he knew someone other then the commission would probably do it, so this can't be too much of a surprise. He was probably thinking someone in charge of a kingdom would take the trial and be judging him, makes sense of all the kingdoms to do it then one random one.".

"Think the same thing will happen to me?", her voice was both more aggressive and more nervous, her arms lying on the table as well as her friend reflected on the info he had gotten, "Maybe, It's hard to say for sure, my parents haven't confirmed if or when you might go on trial, but then again...you haven't even been convicted of anything, you're only under investigation. Though I don't think that makes the situation any less stressful honestly for you...because of our investigations, they have more of a reason to convict you, you were everywhere the criminal had been and you would have the knowledge the criminal could have, even if you weren't in the costume you're highly suspected as an ally and I can imagine that's terrifying.".

"No, no it doesn't, I'm half expecting them to take my wand in my sleep....the worst part is, i don't even get to see them...hear from them. All I'm hearing is from other people, like yourself...the cowards don't even have the nerve to confront me, they're talking behind my back...to you...and my moms....and who knows who else...". The boy was quick to reach across the table to comfort her, trying to be positive, "At the very least me and your moms think you're innocent, that's gotta count for something here...".

"Yeah, at least my moms are on my side I guess...I'm not even sure if angel has that...considering how much they never defend him...".

"From what I can tell....he's not too confident either, angel was just a troubled kid......his parents are so used to him doing dangerous stuff and...you know....though here, there really isn't anything they can do to defend him at all, and trying to defend his actions would only make things worse, I think angel's worried if his mother did wake up, she'd be more then dissapointed in him for his actions. He says he's very close to his mom, what she'd do if she were here seems....to really worry him....".

"He told you that?".

"He's had no one else to really talk to recently besides me....so we've been talking, I think at this point he's more comfortable opening up....he's got nothing to lose, he might as well....I...think it makes him feel better to talk about this stuff then keeping it to himself. He's never had someone to vent to, to talk about this stuff with, we always had each other but he....nora...so much bottled up emotion for years...he doesn't want me to feel guilty about it....but...It's hard not to...even if it's all in the past...".

"Well, you're here for them now, aren't you?".

Yeah, yeah I am....and I think he's a little better now...he's...better on the outside...and he's getting his emotions out...", sky simply nodded, thinking back to the time angel did something similar with her. Judas's brows furrowed, "He misses you, y'know...you don't have to speak to him right now but it tears him up inside he hurt you...". Sky didn't answer, playing with her food now, not really looking the demon in his eyes, leaving judas to sigh and continue.

"He hopes you'll forgive him someday, it almost feels like he cares more about you two reconciling then what happens to him at the trial to me. I guess you really did make an impression on him....sky I just want both of you to be happy, you're my friends...",still nothing from sky, who shoved more taco into her mouth to keep herself from answering. He was just going to have to save this for another time, "I know our parents freaked when luna's room was found empty....I was worried they'd assume we helped her escape but...guess luna had prepared for that, she left them a message as well.".

"She's probably fine....on her own...".

"I hope she is....I just worry....".

"Well, you were closer to her then me, sister or no sister, we weren't exactly always on the same page...and she drives everyone up the walls.".

"She did help you with your magic for a bit...didn't she?", sky thought back to the time she and her were with eclipsa and nodded, "That's true, but that's not like....it's the closest thing we had to real bonding, thought hanging out with katrina at her restaurant was sorta fun too...in a weird way...I guess...", she almost hated to say it, "Luna's not so bad...when she isn't trying to be in charge of everything, just...hanging out and stuff, she just gets so.....mad...and then no one wants to be around her...".

"I can understand that...celeste is also not entirely the easiest to get along with, she tends to keep to herself most of the time and the only person I usually see her around is landon....I...don't think she's just as comfortable around us, she seems antisocial and I think...well I think she's been able to connect to landon more then any of us..". Sky understood, neither of them seemed to get along with celeste, but then again she wasn't easy to get along with and tended to rarely speak to any of them, nora was shy and antisocial but in a very different way.

"Sunny is absolutely lovely, even if she's....a little scary sometimes...I mean, wielding a knife, knowing extremely powerful magic, being good at persuading others...she's the most friendly, and I think the most trusting, but surprisingly the most intimidating for reasons that are hard to explain....", and then his mind wandered to the last girl, "Galexia is.....mysterious...she's nice and well-meaning, but I always never know what she's thinking and where her mind is at...".

Sky tapped on the table and judas poked at her arm to get her attention.

"If we're going to get through this, we all need to communicate, we already lost luna...I don't want anyone else running off, we need to band together more then ever...these girls are your sisters sky, and two of them are technically also my sisters as well, even despite the circumstances and that we have our parents watching us like hawks, we still have them and we can't let anything happen to any of them. I don't want us to lose anyone else out there.".

"That's gonna be even harder with nora being well....yeah".

"We'll manage, luna was powerful and strong but...we just have to manage without her, maybe i can convince them to meet in our archives, it's usually insanely quiet down there, though....Katrina will be following me regardless...we can't leave anywhere outside of our castles so....we're kinda limited. We should find time to talk more with the others, celeste especially, I....feel like she hasn't left her room since....they found out....I...get the feeling she's not thrilled about mom knowing she's their kid in another timeline...".

"She shows up to dinners....right?".

"No, not even that, she requested the food be sent to her...though I doubt she's not still talking to landon despite this...".

"That bad huh?".

"Celeste has never exactly been the social type, and with sunny and galexia being tight and hanging out more often, she might feel left out...maybe, maybe she just gets along with my brother and we're just not people that can get along with her.....I don't wanna give up though...I want to bring us together as best I can. I'm not promising anything, I just...losing luna made me think that I want to make sure we all stick together as best we can...it's already rough that I can't see nora....losing luna too....I don't want it happening again...".

"I haven't been down to the hospital wing...are her parents actually trying to the cure the queen?".

"I've seen them, yes actually, I'm not sure what they're doing and if it's working but It seems nora being complacent with them just to help her might actually be working...though I wish I could see her and ask what she said to them.", he took out his compact, thinking as his fangs pricked his lip, "I wanna get in touch with loki again, but....I know his parents won't allow me anywhere near him after what happened, I just wonder...if there's more I could get out of him...last time I saw him was before he got caught, and I haven't gotten a chance since....".

"Then just ask coral....you got her number right? They probably haven't taken her compact."

A Lightbulb seemed to turn on in the boy's brain.

Coral.

He quickly took out his compact to speed-dail the pony's number, only waiting for it to ring a couple times before the image of a green-ish blue pony to show up on the other side, and unsurprisingly, she was in the middle of playing video games. Though it seemed for once in her life she actually paused it at the sight of the boy, and that was enough to tell judas she already knew about the situation at hand. And her voice was loud enough to even startle Sky.

"JUDAS! WHAT HAPPENED!!".

Geez, if she was this eager to talk to him he'd think she'd try calling him herself, but then again maybe time got away from her while playing games as often as she did. "Coral, oh uh....hi....it's uh...It's complicated, but look.....I need to know how loki's been doing, if that's ok?". Coral's face suddenly looked more annoyed then anything and judas simply gave her a strange smile and shrugged, "Look, trust me, it's important....If you do i'll promise to do another verses game with you."

"I'd rather verses you to see if you can beat me, if you win i'll tell you everything.".

Sky, snorting, got up and walked over next to judas and appear in front of coral, "Uh....yeah, judas can't go over there, and not sure you can come over here either...so you're just gonna have to go with his option.". Coral snorted at the sight of sky but sighed, "Fine fine fine....but lemme guess, the entire reason you both got in trouble has to do with why you wanna know more about my brother, right? What did he do? Is he about to be arrested too?".

"Hopefully not, look.....last time I spoke to loki he couldn't recall anything about his actions cause he thought he was sleepwalking, but I remembered something....the day he vanished.....he was going to see angel to confront him and he doesn't remember a lick of it...as if he were mindwiped or something. I just want to see if maybe we can jog anything from his memory about maybe who magically infected him....I know your parents aren't....easy to converse with and....we need help coral...". The pony's eyes drifted back to her game before laughing, "Another day in the life of Prince Judas lucitor Diaz....you never seem to have a normal week do you?".

"Well, at this point it's happened enough to feel normal...".

"Judas, honestly i'm surprised you haven't gotten killed at this point, you crazy weirdo....alright i'll cave and see what I got, you do owe me a verses game tho, maybe also I could use someone to scare off one of my game rivals too....", judas's face was enough to tell her to only expect half of that offer, "Alright, look, my stupid brother has barely been allowed to leave his room unless our parents are preparing him to take the throne, he's tried to flee a few times though....I think Queen Butterfly found a way to prevent that....".

"Does he recall anything....from what happened since I last saw him?".

"Well, I normally completely ignore him....uh....", her eyes wandered back to her game, "Ugh...I'll make this exception for you judas....". Holding her compact with her tongue, she floated her way up to the green ponyhead's room, placing the compact on top of her head and she moodily knocked on the door to be met with loki's voice on the other end. "Huh? Whose there?", judas couldn't see her faced but he was sure coral was rolling her eyes as she spoke.

"You got a call...".

"From who?".

"Freaking Lucitor Diaz and Butterfly, it's not like you have anyone else who calls you....", the door was locked so they couldn't see his face, but they could hear him, and that was fine for now. He clearly had slammed his body up against the door at the mention of their names, "Wait, what? Why? Are they still dating? Please tell me you're not getting married, I can't even leave this tiny room long enough anymore to even be a best man anymore...".

Even Judas looked annoyed.

"No you dunderhead! They wanna ask about you being possessed and if you remember anything else since the last time lucitor showed up! Look, make it quick, I had to pause my game for this...", loki seemed to pause on his end and judas and sky eagerly awaited an answer from his end. "Uhhhh.....wait...about me being all....that? I mean....that was awhile ago for me...and uh....I mean, I can't remember much from it, it's kinda just...a fuzzy blank...".

Sky could already feel her friend's shoulders sag.

"Loki....the day you seemed to get.....controlled, you went to go find angel remember? Well, i mean you didn't remember but you did do that! And you never made it....how....how far did you get? Where were you when you got......what was the last thing you did remember? Can you recall where you were?". Loki didn't respond right away and judas was about ready to give on on this idea but much to his surprise loki did answer, "Oh well....um...uh...I mean this is kinda a pointless thing to ask about since I barely remember this happening but uh...I guess I might've been in the woods already...maybe...like...close to the spider place..not the other spider place...but THAT spider place.".

"Think closely, did you ever see angel...or the masked being before you got....y'know?".

"Uhhhh....I don't remember....like I said I like.....can't remember anything about when I was sorta kinda taken over....it was....bad...", sky jumped in, crossing her arms, "Loki, you're a sneak, always spying and prying and tagging along when it's not appropriate, I find it hard to believe you never tried to confront angel again after the first time, especially considering how much you knew we were getting involved with him and you love following us, even if you were in trouble with your parents. You decided to go after him yourself a long time ago and after it doesn't happen you just....gave up? Even when judas told you you did you didn't even try to figure out why? You don't even leave us alone no matter how many times I say to go away...".

"Well, that's mostly cause Judas-".

"That's not the point Loki, the point is after that one time you never bothered angel ever again supposedly, you basically acted like you didn't care enough about it after the situation, that's weird for you...", judas himself even had to agree with that, Loki wasn't prone to backing off unless forced too."Yeah, Loki, you wanted to confront angel...basically for me and to get in sky's good graces...and you didn't get caught for being...y'know....under control for awhile after, are you sure you never saw him again?".

Sky bit her lip, "Hm...I mean i guess with you all buddy buddy with angel he'd probably say if loki ran into them I guess...".

"True, but I think you have a good point sky, if loki went to find him again, maybe on one of those occurrences he could've seen something, I never questioned the idea that loki might've seen something if he went to find angel, who was working with Her, I just assumed loki gave up and forgot and...it's worth a shot.". He tried again, "Loki, look, i'm just asking you to dig deep into your memories, I need your help right now, more then ever, is there anything you can recall that could help us?".

"Well uh...I mean...uh....".

"Look loki, we don't get along and i kinda say rude stuff you you all the time, i know judas wants to sorta promise some weird hangout between us three so...look, if you really wanna impress me...or do something worthwhile for once...then please, try and recall something...it'd mean the world to me and judas right now.", sky was practically pressing her face against the compact, silence still coming from loki's bedroom door. And slowly the hope started to drain.

Coral snorted, "Ugh...sorry guys, seems this was once again, a waste of time...my brother can't remember things when they actually matter-".

"I SAW A CAVE!!!".

He practically screamed through the door, catching even coral off guard that she almost dropped the compact, Loki sounded like he was panting, "Like, maybe I blocked it from my memory cause everything was so fuzzy but...I got lost....I think, trying to find the stupid spider kid...and at one point I might've...stumbled upon some weird monster cave, like....it was old...probably used to be used by the monsters in the old monster and mewman wars....but like, I think I saw it....and then like....I passed out I think...".

Judas's heartbeat seemed to beat a little faster, "Anything else? Loki, can you remember anything else?".

"I...I might've heard a voice....I..I wasn't paying much attention to it though....".

Sky raised an eyebrow, "What kinda voice? Man's? Woman's? Supernatural entity? When we heard them speak their voice was all...warped...It was hard to tell who was under there." Loki huffed, "I mean...I think it was a woman's.....I think...no one I knew tho...she was like....creepy....or soothing? I only heard her for like...5 seconds and i'm not sure if i dreamed her or not.". Even sky was intrigued by this, Loki? Actually being kinda helpful for once? This was a miracle.

"Did you see her face?".

"Heck no, i don't think I ever saw anyone, not weird spider boy, not weird masked lady......it was all woods".

Judas seemed to be thinking hard about loki's answer, whether it was extremely factual or not, "A woman's voice....that would imply....she was older...unless he's just mis-remembering her....or he heard someone else...weird.", even Sky seemed more puzzled, though then again they were talking to loki, who was pretty common to not understanding stuff. Even they couldn't be sure of how accurate this account was, and Judas himself knew if Angel had head the foe's voice he would've mentioned it by now.

"I swear....that I think,that's what I heard....maybe...".

He didn't even sound sure himself.

Coral sighed to herself and mumbled to the royals on her compact, "Alright, well, then looks like this meeting is over...that's what you're stuck with unless something else jogs his memory...mom doesn't let him outta this room though so....good luck with that". The demon looked to sky and back to the compact, "Thanks for the help loki, it means a lot...maybe the sooner we put an end to this the sooner you might be allowed some freedom again...and we'll get a chance to hang out...we promise to let you know if we find out anything".

"Will you promise to confess to your obvious relationship?"

"And we're done...bye coral, text or call judas later or something....whatever". Sky hung up the compact for them before Judas could protest, he could call coral back later, at least he got something out of the pony that might be useful. Well, it's possible it might not help at all if the prince's memory was fuzzy, but judas was quick to write it on his napkin, "I'll maybe talk to angel about this later, see if he has anything else he wants to add to this whole thing but I can't imagine he knows too much more...".

"Not even a...cave?", sky moved her hands around to emphasize the cave, "Like that thing is a kinda big thing he should probably mention if it exists, like...no one's been able to find a hideout for this chick or whatever because no one can simply track her down.". Judas shook his head, "No no, angel talked to me, they never met in any hideout, whenever they met they contacted each other through notes or such and went to a certain meeting place, angel's never been to a hideout....they probably knew it was possible angel would back out...".

Guess it figures, that would be pretty stupid to just invite him into a secret hideout you don't want anyone knowing about.

"At least my parents might appreciate it, it could reduce their search a little more...", he pocketed the napkin and Sky returned to her seat as judas took his compact out again, "Maybe I can convince them to take loki in for questioning themselves...I'm not sure truth potion would work in this case though, so better off with normal questions....". That reminded Sky, they had truth potion they made themselves didn't they? The commotion was so crazy she didn't quite remember where she left it.

Hopefully nowhere dangerous.

"Hey, thanks for hanging out with me today jude...".

He looked up from his compact to see the sad face of his friend, munching on her meal rather pitifully. He closed up the compact and leaned against the table, smiling, "I'd gladly make time for my best friend, you know that, and....I needed this too sky....I'm stressed...like....REALLY stressed. Sky I can't stop thinking about....my arm, the time it attacked that knight, sky my arm had teeth....it had a mouth....i can't stop thinking about it. It's never done that before...it's....uncomfortable...".

"Judas...".

"I....also....needed some normalcy, even with angel, he does remind me when i'm around him that i'm a target and could get hurt, you've been with me since the beginning and I just...sky i'm really scared...i'm trying to be cool but i'm terrified right now. But everyone needs me to remain clam and be the voice of reason and no matter how much I wanna calm down, I can't...it gets worse sky, angels's worried she might....use my arm against me and....I don't ever want that to happen.".

"I'm sorry judas, I just wanted you to rest...but I guess it's hard to under these conditions...I get the feeling it's building and you can't catch a break....", he nodded, "I just....what if...what if you do get hurt because of me, sky i'm going to be crowned soon, and I don't....I don't know if I should be taking charge as the leader right now, I don't think it's good for my health right now and.....without luna I feel more then ever like I should be stepping up but maybe it's too much for me to handle with....this going on...".

"Well, what if....I-".

"Sky...I can't let you take care of all this....that's not fair to you either, all this stuff with your moms-".

"-Is petty and nothing compared to what you've been going through, judas you've done a lot already, and you keep coming back cause you're...well...you're used to handling everything....you're used to being everyone's big brother whose always looking out for everyone and helping everyone and trying to guide everyone...you're....cool that way. But...you're so stressed with your arm and you already have pressure because your family has put so much blame on you for your siblings being involved....judas...maybe you should let...someone else have a go while you sort yourself out...".

"Sky you know me, something will happen and I'll get back in there and..I can't relax long enough to-"

She covered his mouth with her hands, "Jude.....you need to rest and I need to take responsibility for this...a lot of this....revolves around me, you wouldn't have even gotten involved in all this if It wasn't for me. Jude I'm not asking you to not help sometimes or assist but....it's getting harder watching you like this...you're getting worse....look i'm asking, I wanna handle some of this, I should be handling some of this...you shouldn't be the one with all this on your shoulders...especially not like this....".

She removed her hands and took one of his.

"Dude....promise me, as your best friend, to take it easy from now on....if something happens, you tell me and i'll try to get a grasp on it...ok?", she was pleading to him with her pretty blue eyes and judas's shoulders sagged, he looked tired, and he gave in. "I promised to trust you, and always believe in you...sky....if you're really sure, I can't argue....I know i'm not doing well, angel knows it as well, and even my family last night came to check on me, asking If i wanted out of trying to help and just wanted to stay out of it...".

"I can handle it....".

"You sure?".

"Yeah".

"Then I trust you to help bring this to a close...".

She quickly pulled him in a tight hug, standing up to do so, "Thank you.".

"Luna really did run off on us....huh?", Celeste sat on her bed, landon pacing close by, her legs swinging off the bed and arms crossed. "Whatever, she was a pain anyway....she can go out there by herself and....be a nuisense to some squirrels or something...", she seemed amused by the meer thought of that, laughing to herself a little. However, landon didn't turn around to look at her, still pacing and thinking to himself, annoying celeste who snapped to get his attention.

"Yo...Landon, what's with you?".

He tugged on his hair, "Well ignoring the fact that i'm being followed and tracked all the time because my parents are super paranoid about me and mason, Queen Butterfly went out to the magic dimension to look for clues, I've just been wondering...if...maybe...well". Celeste could tell where he was going with this, "People lose their minds out there y'know? And it's big, like SUPER big. you'd have to do some searching to find any clues out there, though no doubt that weirdo wouldn't stay in it very long unless she had an unlimited supply of puddling or something, even....mom...this mom....even she's been taking breaks by searching other dimensions.... and magic wells...".

"Yeah it's just....what if we could find something she can't? It'd give us a chance to be one step ahead closer to solving this...".

"and making you look cool to your family? No point in wallowing in success if you're not around to see it right? Like the interrogations and investigating? Sure whatever...but are you willing to like.....die just to be better then your older brother?".

"Don't make it sound...so...weird...".

"i mean, that's what it is...isn't it?", she looked him up and down, "You're pretty bad at making it out as anything else, you wanna save the day and be seen as better then judas and all that. I mean....considering everything else, get the feeling the dude's gonna be kinda pissed you might get hurt trying to overpass him.". She leaned back on the bed, sighing, "Like, all the stuff we were doing, it was kinda meh before, normal detective stuff, going out in a magic dimension though where people lose their minds and some creepy guy who tried to kill us went? I dunno....".

"Since when do you care so much? You usually don't care about getting into dangerous situations all that much....", celeste simply shrugged, huffing through puffed cheeks, "I don't want you to like...get hurt, or end up like that stupid ponyhead prince, it's like...is it worth it THAT much? Like you can do cool things with your music and you got a guy who kinda seems to like you, I mean at this point you might as well not even bother, s'not like your parents want us doing anything anyway....".

"You're an only child, you wouldn't get it...".

"What about me makes you think I "wouldn't get it"? Or that i'm an only child for that matter? You should know that's not true...", she sat up, he had stopped pacing of course, and now she was glaring at him with those brown eyes. "Look, i'm just saying maybe we should stop bothering with all of this and let them figure it out...trying to catch them did nothing but almost get us killed and attacked over and over...they'll probably sort it out and we can go and whatever....i'm just.....i'm done..".

"You really aren't very proactive when push comes to shove...are you?".

"I beg your pardon Mr "I sit in my room all day"?".

"Well, right now I'm trying to do stuff, since when have you done much to help out on your own besides the time you almost got attacked in the woods? You just get mad at people for not doing things and do nothing yourself, at least luna does stuff all the time...you won't even leave your room anymore.". He was probably being too harsh to his friend/half-sister, but she was being pretty hard to him as well for just wanting to take action at a time where action needed to be done.

"Ugh.....look, I've had my own experiences with that kinda place back home, it's where I cross the line....it's a MESS. I'm just trying to make sure you don't go out there and die....I've been attacked by ponies dressed in dark clothing, girls going through demon mewberty, and masked weirdos who tried to murder a monster for trying to get the heck out, we have GONE past crazy, if the magic dimension doesn't hurt you, the rest of us here sure will", she was being serious too, and landon pouted.

"But if I find something...".

"You might end up worse off...".

She was stubborn, there was no way landon could convince her otherwise, closing all of his eyes.

"Then...what am I supposed to do celeste? Just....give up? You can tell me to not do something I want to do, I want to do this ok? I....It might be my only chance right now.". She got up and off the bed, arms still crossed and trying to look him in the face, "Dude, you don't gotta "Prove your worth" to people, some people out there just suck, they're idiots, you want people who are idiots to like you? Or do you want people who you like to like you?".

"My parents aren't idiots...neither are my brothers....", she mumbled under his breath.

"Well I mean, if you gotta almost die for them to even like you then that's a problem..."

She had a point.

Celeste wasn't the type to go out of her way to impress anyone really, she didn't seem to care that much what people thought of her most of the time. Landon probably looked silly to her, trying to do all these things to one-up judas, even if she went along with it. She was starting to tear him down and he grumbled again, he prided himself on being more mature then her but he was sure if judas or his parents were listening in they'd agree with the grumpy brunette.

For now he sighed, "Fine....".

He still didn't entirely agree and he had a feeling Celeste could tell the idea wasn't entirely out of his mind, but this seemed to settle her a little. Walking over and pressing his face into the sheets, feeling celeste walking up behind him. "Look, I snuck out once...but it was only to help luna....like i didn't sneak out on my own....you know that. But at least I had my wand with me...if you went in there and lost your mind, there's nothing you can do to protect yourself...you go in there, who know what could happen to you...".

"Yeah, I got it already, you don't have to keep telling me..." he pressed his face further into the mattress.

She took a seat once again next to him, sighing, "Look, When I showed up here I was kinda...I guess...maybe.....mean to everyone ok? It's pretty clear that...nobody really seems to like me all that much...well, outside of your dog and maybe sunny...you're like...the only person here who kinda sorta likes being around me. If you did something stupid and got hurt or something...you're gonna make me feel guilty for not stopping you from doing the stupid thing...".

"Is this your way of trying to say you consider me your best friend?".

"No, i already have one of those back home...".

He turned his face to give her a dirty look.

"But here? Yeah, you're my best friend...".

Guess this was as nice as he could expect from her honestly.

"You know you can't stop me if I change my mind right?", he mumbled, only to be answered with another shrug, "Yeah, I kinda know, but I'd like to think you're not stupid enough to put that over your own life, we all want to make it out of this in one-piece if we can...". His grumbled turned to sighs as his mind shifted to other matters, sitting on the bed properly, celeste could see his tail slightly exposed from his jeans, much to the demon's frustration.

"Alright...spit it out...".

He turned to look at her, confused, "Wha-?".

"You wanna ask me something, I can tell, as long as it's not....personal, you might as well spill it out.", she elbowed him and she could practically feel him snorting smoke from his nose, "Do you think I should....do my song....for bernard...for him? I've...had it for awhile...but...he's never actually heard it, he's heard a few of my songs but...not that one...and...I dunno, we've been talking a lot and...i'm not sure if he'd think it was creepy or not If I made him a song...".

She almost seemed to smile, she had pretty much expecting something along these lines to have come from his mouth, "Well I mean, if you were some kinda stalker i'm sure it would be pretty creepy if you made an entire song about him, but you're friends aren't you? Not really the creepiest thing you could do, you just tell him you made a new song for him and see if he likes it, it's not that big of a deal.....of is this your weird way of confessing to him?".

Landon was silent.

"Hold on...", she looked him more closely in the eye, brows furrowing, "

Are

you trying to confess through song?".

"What's it to you?", he shifted his gaze away, "All I asked was if you thought i should play it for him with my violin, nothing else.".

"You could've just said "No celeste, i'm not trying to confess to him through song", sounds like a big ole "Yes" if i ever heard one", landon still wasn't looking her in the eye but he puffed is cheeks and mumbled, "I dunno, I like him, I don't know if he actually likes me...the only person he even talks to much besides me is melaine and talking to her is a pain for any of us since she thinks us demons are supposed to be evil or something cause earth is just stupid....like If i said something, he could say no...and i'd look silly.".

"Or be rejected...?".

Landon's silence said a lot.

"Honestly I think it's bold you want to confess to him, I'd think you would still be too nervous to say anything...why the sudden need to do it?".

"I dunno, I guess I just though, if things went to wreck......he should know? He....he kinda poured out and talked to me a lot more...and...he kinda trusts me and....I guess I feel like maybe i'd be breaking his trust if I didn't say anything. I mean, my mom likes to tell us these cheesy stories about how they got with my dad and they do all these cheesy stuff like singing the other songs or doing these weird gestures of romance. It worked for them I guess...".

Then he coughed into his hand, the realization of what he said coming to him, "Uh oh....sorry celeste, I uh...should be more careful when talking about my parents...or my mom in general around you...". She was silent, though still grumpy, he looked over her and then turned away as if looking her directly in the eyes might kill him. "They couldn't have been...always like that though....i'm sure, i'm sure they used to be super happy and everything", he almost expected celeste to say something mean after that, but she didn't.

She seemed dazed in fact.

"C-celeste?".

"They were....a long time ago....now all I see is them being happy with others..".

"Sorry....I'll uh...change the subject...I just...I dunno, maybe it is kinda stupid, I guess I just thought and....look, i'm not good at flirting or wooing people, judas makes people anxious and that's why no one dares even peruse him but he's still more attractive then me...he'd probably have all the princes and princesses after him if people didn't think he'd strange them in their sleep." Now it was landon's turn to get sad and frustrated, "I'm not...exactly prince charming here...".

"Well, no duh....no one is...no one can even be some perfect sweet handsome prince".

"I think Bernard's like a prince charming....even if he isn't actually royalty...".

She almost seemed bemused, "Man, you really

have it bad...".

She stood up, tapping her foot with her back to him for a bit, before turning around.

"Look, if it gets you to focus on something less stupid, then go for it, you clearly like this boy, so you might as well.....do...whatever it is you want to do. Unless you wanna just have a wingman of something around too, but he seems too smart to be fooled by that.", Though landon's eyes widened, "Actually, if someone could ask and see if he likes me, that could take so much pressure off me, maybe help me feel more confident in asking him, that's...a good idea.".

"Dude, are you serious?", she looked dumbfounded.

"Well yeah!! Maybe you could do it?".

She suddenly wished they were talking about the magic dimension again.

"Dude, I barely know the guy, If i go up and ask him if he likes you , i think he'll know what this is all about...".

"Right right....I...would need someone else close to him....."

"You're...not going to ask that nerdy conspiracy theorist are you?", though judging by his face,that was about exactly who he needed to ask. Though he seemed to smirk, "Well no, I can't ask her, she's not good with us, but sky could ask her....to ask him...and well...uh...". Was he starting to blush now? He certainty looked a little pinker then before, "Ugh, maybe I am going too far with this, Bernard's...he had a few exs back in some of the other places he moved...like he told me through our texts and....I don't wanna make a weird impression.".

"Is this your two moods? Trying to be cooler then your brother or crushing on the dude with 50 piercings?", landon wasn't paying much attention though, still thinking about texting sky to help him out, though he could just see her face wondering why THAT was his biggest priority right now of all things. Though he still pulled his compact out, looking over the texts he'd received, "Sky's kinda judas's friend more then mine, I don't really text her directly very often...even though we're the same age and stuff....".

Then his voice suddenly got sad, and the compact closed, catching Celeste's attention as he sighed.

"Never mind...I probably shouldn't....".

"Landon...?".

He changed his mind rather quick, back to being sad and unsocial landon, the confidence he had being washed away in an instant. He stood there, holding the compact and sighing, "I was getting ahead of myself there...wasn't i? I gotta stop doing that....i'll make a fool out of myself doing that...". He ran a hand over his hair as celeste practically blurted out to his face, "Are you ok?". His eyes looked to her and back to his compact, "I dunno I...I don't have a lot of friends...".

"What about it?".

"Well....if....y'know...".

She was confused intentionally but another look at him, and the situation clicked.

"You're worried he'll reject you and you'll lose that friendship..huh? I'm sure that's come to mind before though? I mean, he's the guy you hang out the most around besides your brothers, he's basically your best friend around here unless that violin counts.". Landon almost snapped at her for a moment but pulled himself together, "Of course, yeah I've thought about it...but actually trying to do it....If I do screw this up....he might be too uncomfortable to even be my friend....".

"You're that worried he'll feel uncomfortable....I mean, he's already cool with demons and your family, I mean...it can't be the weirdest thing he's seen...".

"Celeste i've never done this before...I...I don't want to screw this up...".

"Fine, then i'll convince sky to help then....".

He turned his head towards her in shock.

"Wait...you're....celeste?".

"I'm going to go up to sky, and tell her to convince mel to help you out on this, I'll...leave the stupid room and talk to her...", she sounded annoyed by the prospect but landon clearly seemed touched by the gesture, celeste didn't seem to commonly do nice things for anybody, especially if it affected her. His face grew soft, "You'd do that? That's...really nice of you, I mean, well, you don't have to get involved in all of this if you really don't want to, I know this is all my issue and with everything going on my parents are breathing down our necks as is....".

"No no, i'll do it, I'll get out there and actually speak to them...don't...make that big a deal about it. It's really not that important, but if you really need some help...I'll....see what I can do, just...don't do anything stupid ok?", Landon was still smiling though, even though his half sister was grumpy and blushing in embarrassment. He nodded though, "I swear I won't do anything stupid...", though she still gave him a suspicious look, but it'd have to do for now.

"You know, I think the fact you wanna confess....it's pretty brave of you...like all this stuff about trying to take down the enemy and make yourself cooler then judas, I mean....that's one thing, but...like...wanting to tell the guy you like that you...well...like him, even despite everything....it's....it's cool landon. I think it's kinda cool you wanna sorta be honest with him about how you feel....", the boy rubbed the back of his neck, "Bernard's just been...really personal with me...i'm not...used to people trusting me like that...with this kinda stuff...it's...".

"You're such a lover boy....".

"C'mon, it's a first crush, better tell him now before one of us actually does get killed...I...maybe if he knows....I don't know, the thought of doing it has been driving me crazy", then he laughed to himself, "Judas has never been on a date so I kinda can't ask him for advice...even if i wanted to, unless he's dating one of those princes or princesses he hangs out with and just didn't decide to tell anyone for some reason....". He grabbed his violin from it's case, "I uh....I guess you don't have a crush back home...right?".

"No....", she said, though her tone made landon curious if she was lying or not.

"Well, you're a cool person, most of the time..so...I think people are...missing out, even if you can kinda be a jerk.".

Celeste didn't have much time to ponder on that though, pulling out her compact that had suddenly buzzed, texts coming from-

"Sky....texted me, asking me to meet with her....and....the other girls?".

Landon put his instrument down, looking over at her compact and back to her, "Wow....usually judas does that kinda stuff, weird...but well, there you go, an opportunity to talk to her and....looks like the other girls too I guess.". Celeste still grumbled and growled about it, but if luna wasn't there it couldn't be so bad. She got up and collected her things, "So..are you just gonna chill in my room and play violin or something? Cause you look like you are...".

"Well I was gonna show you my new song...but....if you gotta go you gotta go, I can practice in here....I kinda can't get a lot of privacy in my own room anymore...mom's always kinda checking in on me...the whole situation kinda spooked them...gotta prepare if i'm going to perform right?", she shrugged, "well, if you're staying here....get out before I get back and go to bed...and word of advice, if you don't want to get caught, maybe don't play your violin too loud, not exactly like there's a lot of violin players around here they could mistake you for...".

"Good idea...".

She sighed as she headed out the door, leaving landon by his lonesome.

Landon huffed to himself for a moment before pulling out his compact, setting it aside next to him, he needed to breathe. The silence of the room made it easier to clear his head a little bit as he pressed the record button, attempting to make himself seem presentable. "Ok, ok.....take 1....this is...landon, and he's me trying not to make an utter fool out of myself by practicing my....well...how i'm going to talk to...bernard. Whose kinda currently my best friend..and...I uh....yeah....".

He suddenly felt himself grow red and he quickly grabbed his violin, "So I wrote this, I hope it's good...and uh...ok...".

He then grabbed his bow, and began to play.

"You're probably wondering why I called you all here...", sky mumbled, looking over the three girls sitting before her, the guards outside of sky's room simply to keep a close eye on all of them had only added to her anxiety on the matter as she cleared her throat. "I mean, I don't normally text you...or even really do this kinda stuff, but well, it's.....judas has enough going on in his life and...I decided...to kinda sorta be in charge of whatever group we're in.....kinda sorta..".

Sunny and galexia simply blinked, Celeste raised an eyebrow and somehow she seemed almost offended.

"Wait wait...you're doing what now?".

"I'm....taking control, I'm gonna help us end all this....while judas takes more time to get himself together....".

But celeste still didn't seem to get it, standing up from her seat on the floor of sky's room and shaking her head, " Sky, since when have you ever been the type to command the rest of us and do all this stuff? Is this because luna ditched us all to go do whatever?". She had to stand her ground with this girl, had to stand for judas, and sky attempted to hold her head high. "Look, Judas needs a break, and i'm his best friend, we need a new direction right now, angel's on trial tomorrow and with all the stuff before we all barely spent any time together, we....we can't so it again...so...I figured...-".

"Figured-?".

"It's my universe, all my friends are getting hurt by all this and....I should've been the one trying to help since the beginning...Judas shouldn't have had so much of this on his shoulders...", she had a ting of guilt in her voice, even leaving judas to go about the rest of his day sucked. She knew he was mostly off to probably prepare angel for the trial ahead, she was so relieved to see him a little more relaxed and even if judas may not agree, she felt she could've done more to keep so much of this from being on his shoulders.

She carefully reached out and set a hand on celeste's shoulder, "Look, we're all kinda mad and weird...and....frustrated....but we're not going to get through this if we keep.....pushing each other away. Judas...had a lot of pressure placed on him, he had to keep an eye on you all, he had to deal with nora, deal with angel, attend meetings to try and get some new information, he had to deal with his brother and deal with all the stuff with his arm...and I....I just attended class and tagged along sometimes to help with these issues...I...I want to be more useful..in helping you guys...".

Celeste's expression seemed unimpressed, "You sure it wasn't just to look cool enough to surpass mom? I'm fairly observational, i'm not fooled by lies and that kinda nonsense.". Sky huffed but she brushed some of her hair from her face and split it, "Fine, maybe to a degree it was....but I still want you all to make it home...and...angel almost died or got his mind zonked by some creep, and that creep put nora in danger, and put my best friend in danger too...they...need to pay...whoever they are...".

Celeste seemed almost....taken aback, sky had never been so mad before, at least, not in this fashion.

Then Sunny raised her hand, Sky taking it as the girl spoke, "I'm not opposed at all, I just want to know if judas is ok? You want to do this because so much is on him right? He must've been...well....tired and stressed...", even galeixa perked up at that, celeste turning to sky for an answer as well. "Well, I think he'll be ok, he's had a rough time recently, i'm at least hoping he might get more of a break to rest...though doing this means I gotta be the one to meet with his parents and...uh...can't say i'm looking forward to that...".

"He's not dropping out entirely?".

"Well, he kinda has to help to a degree, I mean, he is the one mostly talking to angel and he knows things I kinda can't replicate, but he's...he's not in any condition to keep piling this stuff on him so....i'm going to do my best to make this work, despite our parents being involved and everything else...if you'll have me I guess. I don't really wanna kinda force you into it cause I kinda can't stop any of you regardless, you're all kinda more useful then i am...but...can we give this a shot? Please?.

"YES!", everyone turned to Galexia, who beamed at Sky.

Sunny crossed her arms, "Well, I can't say no sky, honestly....I missed the fact we all didn't really get to hang out a lot...". She beamed, showing off her fangs, "And if judas is ok with it, then I say I'm happy to have you make sure we get all this done, right Celeste?". Sky kinda figured Celeste would be the hardest convince, if only because luna wasn't here and celeste was clearly not easy for anyone to get along with, though all the girls beaming at her was making anxious.

"Welll I uh.....uh...are you even allowed to be doing this with your parents not wanting us younger ones involved?".

"Well as being primary kinda a big part in all this supposibly, that sorta doesn't apply to you, you're all worth having involved to a degree...though i'm sure it's awkward for all our parents right now since you're all technically their kids too.....", Celeste couldn't argue against that, "Fine fine, but what do you plan to do about luna or....y'know, handling the matter?". She was clearly trying to find holes she could to not agree off the bat and sky leaned against her bedroom wall, fixing her hat.

"Nothing...".

"Nothing?".

"There's nothing to do when it comes to luna, she chose to leave and none of us sure can convince her to change her mind.", Celeste couldn't really argue against that after how luna's acted to her throughout their time together, "We kinda just gotta focus on us right now, the trial is tomorrow, so we'll deal with that and....hope for the best. Mewni's legal system ain't exactly....great, but, I guess we hope to use that to our advantage...then after we hopefully prevent angel from being eaten alive by all the kingdoms he angered...we'll....set a trap...".

"You made that up just now, didn't you?", celeste being so observant was incredibly uncomfortable, made sky question how much else she was able to tell about her and the other's through her observation. "Maybe...but..angel makes pretty good bait....if she goes after him, then we'll be able to pounce on her easily.". She seemed sure as the words slipped from her mouth but even Sunny had to interject, "Well, it sounds like a good idea, but angel probably wouldn't want his life in jeopardy like that, he nearly escaped her last time, and she most likely would easily tell it was a trap...wouldn't she?".

Celeste turned back to sky, "You can't just put the dude out on a silver platter and expect her to go fetch, she can't be

that

stupid! They gotta know by this point Angel spilt the beans on them, got nothing to gain by grabbing them now unless they're super petty or something. He was only useful because he knew stuff, now that we know that stuff, no point in trying to stop him....if you wanna set a trap, you kinda need to know what they want and not make it blatantly obvious it's a trap."

"Look fine, can I just...", the anger was getting to her, she regretted not trying to work on this sooner, she probably looked foolish trying to look like a competent leader when she didn't have a very good plan as to what to do next in their course of action. As she struggled to find something else to say though, sunny coughed, the brunette turning to her, "Celeste? C'mon, sky's trying, it's not a perfect plan but it's a good start, I think the idea of drawing them out and capturing them sounds really smart actually!".

Her voice always seemed to have a certain 'Pep' to it, as if it alone could make anyone smile and feel better even when they were bleak.

She stood up, almost rather defensive actually, despite how small and rather adorable she was.

Though the knife under her dress was enough to be clear she was not one to underestimate.

She stood between celeste and sky, hands on her hips.

"I think we should give sky a chance, it's not like she can make anything worse, judas is basically your brother too anyway. We're all the ones most affected by this...and we're all competent without judas or luna around, sky's creative, celeste can read people well, galexia is sweet and keeps us going, we can do all this stuff...we should be building each other up right now, not trying to tear us all down. Only way we're going to win is by doing all this together....".

Celeste looked like she would barf.

"This isn't one of your little musicals or plays, our lives are on the line here,

believing in the power of sisterhood

isn't going to make us go home!".

Then Galexia stood up, catching her REALLY off guard.

"Let Sky help.".

She felt surrounded.

She was outnumbered, 3 to one, and if judas were here that'd make 4. Though her reluctance was clear on her face she gave in, though she wasn't really looking anyone in the eye, closing both of them and fighting back the urge to say anything else. "Fine....you win it seems, can't convince the rest of you of anything....but if something goes wrong, I hope you know what you're doing here...we're already on thin enough ice as is and we are not cracking it any more unless we all wanna suffer....".

Sky felt a sense of relief wash over her, at least the girls knew about it and she had convinced them to give her a shot. Now it was a matter of moving forward from there, "Thanks guys....I guess now, we just need to put most of our energy into the trial tomorrow, and help angel as best we can...sunny, you've got everything you need?". The small girl nodded, "You know it, we'll go out there and make a case for him...of at least we'll try and defend his actions where we can....speaking of which, I kinda think you outta speak to him....at least before the trial?".

Sky blinked at her, nervously looking away and fixing her hair, "I'm not sure i'm still in a good mood for that....actually. He still betrayed me....y'know? It's not a big thing that i can just...forgive...like you can't easily forgive anyone for stabbing you in the bacl.", the blonde shook her head in response, correcting her. "I just said "Talk", you don't have to forgive him now, but if he's going up against pretty much all of mewni...he's going to need everything he can to make it easier on him....and you're really close with him...I know he'd appreciate it.".

"I'll....think about it....".

Her smile turned from happy, to a little sad, "I can imagine how scared he was...doing that, I....I've....had bad people....try and hurt me too, mind-erasing....it's something I hate to see...because...people have tried to use it on me before and it's terrified me ever since then....he must've been terrified to lose his memories, but he was willing to do it to keep everyone safe....he's lucky to have friends like you. You're all really lucky to have each other in fact, you, judas, his brothers, nora, and angel...it's cute how much you care about each other.".

She wiped at her eyes and smiled sadly at sky in almost a relieved way.

"Ugh....don't make it so sappy....", celeste mumbled under her breath, getting the demon's attention. Sunny smiled and reached out to touch celeste's shoulder gently, trying to calm her down and reassure her, "We care about you too celeste, I don't know what it's really like back home for you....but...we care about you. You don't got to be alone in your room during all this, ok? We're here to help out and we'd love to have you if you'd want to join...?".

The brunette didn't answer, looking around the room at the three around her and sighing, "I'll see you for the trial....don't screw it up...". She was quick too head out, closing the door behind her, sunny sighed, "Give her a little more time, but I should leave soon too, being monitored like this means I can't be out too late so....I better get back to my own room and you'll have to report all this to the Lucitors and your moms....oh, and i'll see you tomorrow for the trial!".

Galexia blinked at Sky and hugged her, rather tightly, before following sunny out.

Most likely to say goodbye to sunny as well before she went off to bed.

Sky was left to her own devices one more, gripping her wand tightly as she thought it over. She almost didn't notice celeste had left a note on her bed, guess she had been so worked up with sky she didn't think to ahnd it over herself, sky snatching the thing and reading it over. Sky almost wanted to smile, landon actually convinced celeste into talking to her just so she could help him confess to a guy huh? She sighed, quickly pulling out her compact to shoot melaine a text, once this trial was over, if she could find a way to bring melaine over as she promised her before, she outta anyway.

Hopefully mel wasn't weird about asking bernard anything, she could only hope.

"Celeste really is softer then she looks...huh....".

Kinda like Luna a bit, or her mom, or angel...

There was a part of her that really didn't want to do it, but a part of her that really did want to. Even as she put on her pjs it kept hitting her on the back of her head, she stared at her door in the dark, getting off her bed and and reluctantly grabbing her wand just in case. There was a part of her still telling her not to bother but then again if she were in that situation , she knew him well enough to know he was definitely show up to see her before the worst part came.

"Ok...fine....i'll do it"., she grumbled as she slipped out the doors carefully, trying not to wake the guards who certainly were going to be fired at this rate.

"I just hope i'm not too late to speak to him...".

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #sky and the forces of the multiverse #tomco bby #janstar bby #ostar bby #starco bby #tomstar bby #my art #fanfiction #fanfic

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