#in that I'm letting loose my HERE WE GO energy while also planning for the crash later

[brown-little-robin]

It's 12:03 on the 2nd day of spring break I've spent the morning talking to friends and going on unhinged reblogging sprees (you'll see 'em later they all went straight to drafts) while rotating my blorbos in my mind at incredible speeds. we are off to an AMAZING start to break!!

[everythingne]

out of the woods - ls2 [2]

With a home race that couldn't go better, Dhanishka feels the confidence to let loose. But, Bahrain's post race celebration brings up some confusing feelings Dhanishka definitely won't handle the best. Charles plays the disappointed older brother role very well, Daniel is a bit of an enabler as is Lando, who also wins a bet with McLaren. Also, the FIA makes a weird call.

logan sargeant x ferrari!ex!oc

fc: iffat marash (and other pinterest girlies)

warnings/notes: mentions of past car accidents, drunkeness, a makeout scene, tbh if logan looked at me the way i describe here i would fold oops. conflicting feelings here for miss dubey

(part one) (part three)

Bahrain hasn't even started, my home race hasn't even started, and I already feel like I'm about to snap. I knew coming into this race there was a lot of pressure on me to do well, not to mention how basically everyone I knew and their fucking mother was here, but from Ferrari alone. This was the season they planned to solidify Charles and I next to Red Bull. They'd been secretive about their car, their plans, and whatever, just to hopefully psyche out the other teams.

Personally, I just wanted to win for myself, but thats a whole other story.

When I walk in the race, cameras are on me faster than I can say my name, thousands of eyes watching the only rookie this season as she makes her way into her paddock. Inside the paddock is no better, and the garage can't even be a safe haven as reporters walking the pit lane try to get video of me and Charles greeting eachother.

He's like a bright red beacon of safety admist the chaos of this morning. He hands me a coffee, says it's supposed to be some sort of weird chai thing. It tastes... like slightly more bitter and heavily espresso filled chai. But I drink it anyway because lord knows I need the energy.

"You look stressed, is it the race?" Charles asks after our debriefing, when I'm working on reaction times. I keep working at whacking the buttons, eyes trained on the center as I also work my periphery.

"I think so." I say, uninterested, and Charles purposefully messes up the game so I look at him with a loud exclamation. He grins, and I get now why Arthur had punched Charles in the arm as a greeting once. He looks like a cat that knows it's done something wrong, but smugly doesn't care. Like my aunt's big brown cat named Porsche.

They'd bought her a 'Porsche' for her birthday that year. Haha.

"What's it actually?" Charles asks when I catch my breath a little, taking a big gulp of water and then sipping on the coffee-chai-thing.

"I talked to Logan after we left the resturant and I can't stop thinking about it." I set down the cup and go to return to the game before Charles grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"Do you wanna talk about it before the race? Maybe get it out of your system so it doesn't affect you while driving?"

"You're talking like you speak from experience."

"Maybe I do." He hums and I huff through my nose, before grabbing both of my drinks when he nods his head back to his drivers room. Probably the only place here we could get privacy. He pops me down on his couch and sits next to me, motioning for me to talk.

I stammer a bit before sighing, “Logan still thinks it’s my fault. He still thinks I had something to do with the accident. And I’m a fucking idiot because I still love him.”

Charles’ eyes widen as I lean forward and huff, rubbing my forehead as I keep talking, “I still love him after three years. And he doesn’t love me back and that hurts but I can’t do anything about it.”

"you still love him?" He asks and I nod, and then hitch forward with a sharp gasp. It's like saying the words out loud have thrown every possible emotion in my face. Anger at him for breaking up, regret for not chasing him, a deep sorrow for the things we'd lost. He had been my first love, something so innocent. I didn't know how I was supposed to live without him.

"I do," I whisper through the lump in my throat, "I love him, but I can't even look at him without feeling sick."

For once with all the issues I've come to tell Charles about, this is one that stumps him. But he wraps an arm around me, pulling him to his side as he rubs his hand along my back and I curl into his touch. I don't exactly cry, but I more so just hyperventilate.

And it takes maybe ten minutes for me to calm down fully and when I do, Charles squeezes my hands.

"No matter what happens, I've got you." He says softly, "just like at dinner, I've got you."

I nod and he hands me a tissue, I fix up my makeup and stand, letting him escort me back out to the garage so we can go get out fireproofs and race suits.

The sun is long set when we start the race, the warm up lap making my nerves spark as my fingers twitch on the steering wheel. I knew Bahrain's track like the backs of my hands, I knew exactly what to expect and what to do and where to go. Starting p8 wasn't terrible, I would've preferred to be higher but I'll take what I can get. In front of me is Yuki, Carlos, Daniel, Charles, Oscar, Lando, and Max. With Logan directly behind me and Alex behind him.

I'm not super worried about Alex, but Logan had a pretty similar driving style to me so I worry about him coming and overtaking me. I know I can overtake Yuki, Carlos, and Daniel if I give myself time and risk going wide when it comes to Carlos, but Lando, Oscar and Max will be my biggest competition. Though I'm not sure about Charles, I guess it depends on what we're told on the radio.

Within the first five laps, I've gotten past Yuki and Carlos, but Daniel's giving me a run for my money. Charles even tries helping, but it's no use, and I take my place behind Daniel for the foreseeable future. I don't mind it, holding P6 at the beginning isn't the worst scenario. I just have to wait until people starting going in for tire changes and such, hopefully I'll be able to use that to get around.

Eventually, Daniel understeers and it gives me a perfect opportunity to whip around him and I solidify myself in P5. Oscar's ahead of me, Lando ahead of him, Charles in P2 and then Max holds P1. Charles is fighting him for it and I'm impressed with how we're doing so far.

At some point Logan comes up behind me, I'm only alerted via the radio for half a second before I see him try and push me to the edge of the track. I speed up, purposefully oversteering the turn to knock him off my back.

By the end of the race, I find myself P3 by a goddamn thread. Lando having wing damage making it easier for me to snag around him in one of the last turns. Charles isn't far ahead of me, and Max holds his P1 usual. Lando's P4, Oscar P5, and Logan P6. Everyone else is pretty much scrambled, almost all the racers overtaking someone multiple times throughout the race.

I can't really feel anything under the thrum of my excitement, Charles coming up behind me and lifting me off the ground in celebration as Max laughs from a distance. We're making our way to the stage for the podium, helmets off and a hat secured over my head to block out the sun and my post-race helmet hair.

"Lets go! 'Ishka!" Charles jumps and I laugh, whacking him on the head as he hoists me in the air.

"Congrats, kid." Max grabs the brim of my hat and yanks it down, making me yelp in surprise as Charles sets me down. I fix the brim of my hat while Charles laughs, trying to help me yank down Max's hat too before I'm called to walk up on stage.

The roar of the audience is deafening, the announcement a warble as I take the trophy with a thank you and shook the hand of the woman who gave it to me. I lift it above my head, the noise only growing, and I can't help the satisfied shout that leaves my throat in celebration.

Dipping back into the paddock, I see Logan being ushered away from me by Alex. Even though the sight of him makes my throat close and stomach drop, I try to keep my head up. I try to not let it affect me, but I know it does.

I told Logan the truth. I let him him go because he wanted to go. Nothing Logan did now would change the way my heart ached for him. In F2 I learned quickly to shove my emotions down and never let them escape me, and when I wasn't in the safety of Charles' company, I felt like I had fallen back into that same routine again.

Cold, sharper than a tack, everything rolled right off. I bit my tongue when necessary, fought back only when provoked.

It was nothing like how I had been before Trident. That much was known. But I wasn't about to be used again. Never again.

A few hours later, we're at the hotel Charles is staying in, him laying face first on his bed while I fix up my makeup in a mirror for the upteenth time. Another night out is in order to celebrate the season kickoff, Max inviting Charles and I along with him, Daniel, and Carlos to some sort club I've been to a hundred times already.

Once I've used Charles' bathroom to change into my clothes for the night, I'm wrapping a large Ferrari jacket around myself to be a bit more 'presentable' until we get to the club. I lean into the mirror to check and secure all my jewlery before I make my way out of the bathroom.

Charles looks up from where he's sitting in one of the chairs in the hotel room, his eyes doing a quick once over before he grins and stands up. He's wearing some jeans and a loose black button-up, a gold necklace swinging before settling against his collarbones as he makes his way to my side.

"Revenge dress?" He muses to me with a smirk and I whack his arm with a loud laugh, shaking my head as I walk to grab my purse off the coffee table.

"It wasn't intended to be, but sure." I grin as I take a sip from my wine glass on the table, eyeing the now empty bottle we were using to loosely pregame the night, "Glad to see you've gotten a bit of fashion advice, the polo looks good. If Max is wearing anything Red Bull I'll choke him out."

"I'll help you." Charles laughed and hands me his wallet. I pop it in my purse without thinking, I know it's so I don't run off without him, and I pretend to be annoyed. But the action is sweet.

"We have a little private room with some of the other drivers," Charles grabs our phones off the charges and hands me mine as he pockets his, fixes his hair in some sort of habit, and then looks back to me as he grabs the handle of the door, "So, you can leave your stuff there until we leave."

"Sounds good to me." I follow him out the door, my heels clicking on the tile on the hallway as we move down to where the carpet starts. Charles turns back to me as he walks, watching me dig out my car keys. When I lift my eyes to meet him he scratches his jaw and then speaks.

"Logan's gonna be there. That's fine with you?" Charles asks. I had told him in the garage this morning about my argument with Logan. It had been eating at me, and Charles being ever the observant picked up on my shift in attitude before I did.

"I probably won't even see him, this club is always packed." I reason, even with the private room. I'd spend most of my time at the bar. If I was with my friends, also the dancefloor, but I had a suspicion I wouldn't be doing much dancing tonight.

"You sure?" Charles holds the elevator door open for me, letting me step in and press the button for the lobby. I nod, adjusting my outfit a little bit as I look over at him.

"It's fine, I'm over it." I shrug, looking at myself in the mirrored doors of the elevator and fixing up my hair loosely. I can feel the elevator slowly start to lower and I grin at myself.

Maybe it was the confidence from my win, but I looked good tonight.

"You cried over him this morning and now you're saying you're over it?" Charles hums, thinking back clearly to me frustrated for no reason this morning and his intervention with led to me half-hyperventilating into his chest.

"I got P3 in my first F1 race, Charles. No one can touch me. I'm hot, sexy, and breaking the Ferrari curse." I playfully do a little z-snap that has Charles chuckling as the doors open to the lobby and he brings me out to an awaiting car. This was something else I would never get used to, how we all just kinda casually had luxury vehicles. Now, my parents were well off, my father a CEO and my mother a tailor, and they had plenty of money to give to me and my sister if we needed it. But it hadn't always been that way. So the Ferrari just idling outside the hotel, clearly brought over by Ferrari for Charles and I to drive like once this whole weekend is a shock to me.

He lets me in the back, then gets in the passengers, instructing the driver on where to go while I lean back with a content sigh and watch the streetlights pass.

dhanishkadubey made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, and 254k others...

dhanishkadubey: kicking off the start of a wonderful szn. much love to the tifosi 🏎️ ❤️ (📷: @ charlesleclerc)

charlesleclerc: ❤️

danielricciardo: this bitch drinks fireball like water.

dhanishkadubey: ur rlly exposing me like this danny :(?

user1: congrats on p3!!!

oscarpiastri: go dhanishka go !!

user2: tensions rising in the loscar fandom tn

maxverstappen: great start to your rookie year, dhanishka :)

anyadubey: YAAA THATS MY SEXY SISTER!!!

user3: actually in love w her.

When we arrive at the club, the place is already going hard. Early 2000s music pulses from various speakers, the lights flashing to the beat of who I think is Britney Spears mixed with that one song from Saltburn. It's Daniel who greets us in the upstairs room, showing me where to leave my bag and jacket while Charles is escorted off to the side by Pierre and Max. I spot Esteban and Lance chatting idly with Magnussen and some other racers. It's odd combinations tonight, as the grouping strays from the normal clumps of friends, but it means I find myself engrossed in a conversation with Alex and George maybe thirty minutes after getting inside.

"I seriously thought you were gonna be much meaner!" George shouts over the pulsing music and I laugh as he hands me my drink from the bartender. I thank him softly and take a big sip, nodding at the sour taste im expecting from the cocktail.

Catching George's eye, I tease, "Do you want me to be?"

"God no," George waves a hand in my direction with a soft laugh, something playful and almost childlike gleaming in his eyes as he tilts his head, "Carmen's plenty mean to me."

"Oh stop!" Alex scoffs, whacking George's arm, "As if Carmen's little jabs equate to Lily's!"

"Didn't you literally call Lily the doll from Squid Game?" I ask, then pop my straw in my mouth and take a slow sip. Alex freezes as if he's been caught red handed, and George suppresses a giggle.

"Look..." Alex holds up a hand in defense but George and I are laughing too hard to really hear whatever excuse he uses to defend his actions.

"Okay, can I ask you a question, Dhanishka?" Alex asks after we've calmed down, leaning forward on the bar as I settle in my seat with George on my other side. I nod and he swallows and I can see him roll the question through his head. He takes a sip of his drink, swallows, and turns to ask, "If you wanna answer, what exactly happened with you and Logan? 'Cause he's been moping since you got announced to be racing with Ferrari and I might lose my mind if he doesn't knock it off."

"Oh god," I say into my midori sour, taking the bitter drink into my mouth and swallowing it and setting my hand over the cup. George leans over to look, head slightly tilted like a puppy as Alex quickly speaks up.

"If you don't wanna say anything, it's fine, but--"

"--No, no. It's fine Alex," I wave a hand, "uhm, Logan and I started dating when we were racing in Renault, but we'd been kinda... I guess flirty since the end of our formative years and into like secondary school. We were... I was fifteen, so he was seventeen or sixteen at the time? It was just like... puppy love, y'know? Pure and innocent, nothing too serious.

"And, we were both in love and it was nice. It really was nice. But, when that crash happened with Trident, I think something snapped in him. I... the breakup... it came from nowhere. I don't know if it was because he was mad, thinking I had something to do with it, or if he just... didn't know what to do and needed control after Trident took that P2 position from him? I don't know. We hadn't spoken since that day until last night."

"You talked to him last night?" Alex asks with slightly wide eyes and I nod, taking another sip of my drink.

"We argued about it last night while waiting to leave." I sigh, rolling my shoulders as I pop the straw between my lips and take a long slow sip, then speak, "He thought I had something to do with the crash, I told him I didn't, he asked me why I let him leave--which, Alex, feel free to tell him I think that's a dumb fucking question. I wasn't gonna force him to stay if he was unhappy, or if he didn't wanna date anymore. I'm not a monster."

"Wait, wait," George waves a hand to grab my attention and I turn to him with a soft hum, "So is he mad at you?"

"I don't know," I finish off my drink, noticing both George and Alex are not even halfway down their respective drinks, "I can't tell with him. I would completely understand if he was furious about everything, but none of it was my fault. I didn't even know Trident planned to crash into him!"

"I'm gonna try talking to him," Alex looks over at someone to the right of me and I don't have to look to know he means Logan's there. I nod, sip my drink, and excuse myself to go back to the room. George escorts me up there, to make sure I'm fine, and then leaves me to Daniel who grins.

"You've had something to drink, right?" He asks and I nod, but happily join him and Lando at the bar for shots of various alcohols. And I end up drinking a few glasses of soju back to back with Max at one point, introducing him and Checo to different flavors while Daniel laughs at Max's shock over how everything just tastes like a slightly sour juice. I'm finishing my fourth glass of soju when I start to feel woozy. Taking a water from the bartender, I count the drinks I've had in my head and roughly equate them to about a handle of alcohol.

Lando orders a final round of shots for us, Fireball burning down my throat.

"Danny!" I call to the Australian, who turns in a full circle before realizing wher eI am. He nods and steps closer so I don't have to shout.

"The bathrooms right there," I point to a hallway and Daniel nods, "Can you grab my stuff and I'll meet you guys by the door?"

"Yeah, just be quick! Text me if you need anything." He squeezes my wrist and I nod, slipping away and down the stairs that lead tot he dark bathrooms. Once I'm done, I step out into the hall looking down at my phone when I slip on water pooled by the door. Or what I hope is water.

A hand juts out, catching me by the waist and tugging me forward so I'm no longer falling backwards. The firm hand is familiar, and when I glance up to thank the man who caught me I make eye contact with Logan. I resist the urge to make some rude comment and thank him softly instead.

"Are you gonna tell everyone about us dating?" He asks instead and I scoff.

"Are you gonna start a fight every time I see you?" I rebuke, and then shrug, "Alex and George asked. And if I said no, they could just look it up. I didn't say any apecifics, just the bulk."

Logan looks a little relieved at that, almost like he was nervous about their reactions if they knew every little thing that we'd done. Truth be told, puppy love was the best way to describe us back then. Stolen chaste kisses, giddy smiles when holding hands, little meaningful gifts, late night texts that led to sleepy smiles the next day. I was sure he'd had something more... mature after he'd broken it off. I had rationalized in my head that was why he broke it off. I'd never know the real reason, I wasn't going to ask.

"You..." Logan finally lets go of my waist, and in the low light I see his eyes sweep over me with a look I want to decipher. I've lost the key to his brain, and I know I won't be finding it any time soon.

"You look as beautiful as the day I left you, more so now... but," He laughs, shaking his head, "Sorry, I had too much to drink. I shouldn't."

"You shouldn't." I agree, but a tiny smile curls at my lips, "But thank you."

Logan looks at me for a long moment and I return the gaze, our eyes spelling out stories of his hands carding through my hair, laying on a blanket on the roof of his London apartment and listening to music in shared earbuds, us cheering on Oscar when he'd asked Lily out and celebrating with him after.

He was so much of my past, and somehow I found that I wished he could fit into my future.

"Can I ask one thing?" Logan says, the music pulsing above us louder now, making his voice get swallowed by the music. I step closer to hear him as I nod, throat dry as trepidation rolls across my skin, his lips part, and it takes a second for him to ask, "Can we not fight? I don't think I can ever see you look angry at me again, I've been replaying our argument outside the restaurant for days now.

"I don't wanna leave our past behind us and move on," He continues when I gape at him, "I loved you back then, maybe I still do now or maybe its the fact I'm so drunk the world is spinning, but you were such a big piece of my life. I've known you since we were kids, Dhanishka I can't let go of you now that I've got you back."

His heart is being held out for me, hands shaking as he stares at me, and I just stare back. Just friends, I tell myself. That's all we'll be.

"You know," I start, and I can feel its my heart and blood alcohol content leading the conversation and not my brain, "I do think I still love you--or maybe its the fact I'm just as drunk as you are, if not worse. You made my life, you made me who I am, from the stupid jokes to the little kisses behind our garages, or sneaking into eachother drivers rooms to nap..."

I swallow my pride, "I won't let go of you this time."

He grins and on wobbly legs he takes me into a hug, I let his arms wrap around my waist, hands warm against my skin as I throw my arms around his neck. The stairs squeak behind us, and we step back, but I don't see anyone come down. When I turn back to him, I find he's still looking, and as the music shakes the walls and rolls into my skin, I find one of my hands cupping his jaw. His breath cuts short, lips parting as his tongue darts out.

It's so dumb how easily I fall back in love with Logan Sargeant.

He dips down before I can think to pull back, slotting his lips against mine, and I welcome it. His grip on me tightens as he tugs me back in, bunching fabric under his fingernails as he gasps when I nip his lip.

"We shouldn't do this." He gasps between a kiss he drives, only to be cut off by me stepping closer to keep our lips dancing. He turns us, pressing my shoulders to a wall, cornering me underneath him, and I bite back a whine in the back of my throat.

"We shouldn't," I agree, and gasp when he moves closer, his hands sliding down to guide my hips towards him as his knee knocks mine apart. He steps one foot between mine, leaning into me, and I can't help the whine he forces out of my lips this time. And when I see his satisfied grin, I can't help the tiny bashful smile that pokes at my own lips.

"You're an asshole." I breathe against his lips, the club pulses above us, footsteps creaking on the stairs, but in that moment we dont feel the pull of the crowd singing and dancing. His hands grip my waist through the thin fabric of my black dress, pulling me in, and I feel everything. His chest hits mine with his sharp breath in, our eyes finding each other and holding a gaze I feel as bitter as the tequila in my stomach.

"I know," He pulls me in by wrapping his arm around my waist, hand finding my jaw and tugging me impossibly closer. Our lips meet again, all heat and fervor and my hands find the back of his head, knocking our teeth when I tug him in after he breaks the kiss.

22R stains his lips and I see it on his teeth when he grins, memories flicker through my eyes. He tastes like expensive whiskey and rum, a hint of shitty bottled beer taps my tonsils when I swallow. He tastes like everything I should run from and yet, I crave more.

"Dhanishka!" Charles calls for me somewhere in the club, voice loud against the music, and I step back. Reaching out to grab my wrist, Logan pulls me in once more, his thumb runs along my lower lip, fixing the smudged lipstick in the dark, dingy bathroom hall. I don't know what to say, I don't know if this is a moment where I'm even supposed to say anything.

"Danny!" Daniel shouts, coming to the hall of the bathroom and I push Logan back into the men's room and slam the door shut before he can say anything.

"There you are!" Charles calls and I wave, turning to them.

"Sorry," I giggle, the warmth of the kiss on my face as I feel the ghosts of Logan's hands on my skin, "I think I had a little too much."

"So did Max," Daniel snorts, flicking on his phone flashlight so I can properly see the stairs as I make my way over to where they stand halfway down them. I hear the men's room door creak and turn back to catch Logan's eye as Charles grabs my wrist and carts me upstairs.

We share a tiny grin between us, charged by drunken decisions, it's our moment. No one else sees. Or if they do, they don't say a word But Charles' grip on my wrist tightens, and I have an odd feeling we might not have been as alone as we thought we were in that hallway.

taglist (thank you!)

@chasing-liberosis @justsomejess @struggling-with-delia

[surpriseroundtellyourfriends]

RED STITCH LOVERS... REPORT!!!

(Thoughts on the finale below! NOT spoiler-free!)

What a fantastic finish cap to a fantastic show. You may have seen me complain about the endings to the other arcs before, but you won't see me complaining about this one. We wrapped up just about every loose thread (no pun intended), and those left dangling seem to be saved for the afterparty.

Notable highlights:

THE ISABELLE AND IAN SIBLING MOMENT... I was so happy multiple people drew it; I want to animatic it. I cheered so fuckin loud, tbh. Ian IS the shitty older brother, and Isabelle is his darling twin sister who will keep him in line, and together they will murder their Uncle Hunterpalm <3

(I am specifically referring to him comforting and teasing her while she cried into his shoulder but ALSO, what is more sibling-coded than planning how to commit a murder and hide the body together?)

Unexpectedly delightful dynamic between Cadmus and Hutch. This whole time, Cadmus has been the only party member who really HATES Hutch with a vitriol, and the animosity with Cadmus trying to steal a buff from him (albeit while saving his life) was just so good. And then Hutch using his overclass to full-restore Cadmus (WHO FINALLY GOT TO NOT DIE DURING A FIGHT) and offering to help get revenge on Vice afterwards? Really good stuff.

(And like, we NEEDED that confirmation that Vice was gonna get his just desserts. I would've thrown hands if we didn't.)

Lots of good polycule bits. "If you were hitting on me, you're gonna have to get in line. There's forms and stuff." I fucking love these science freaks.

THE GROUP HUG... even though Florence was not technically a part of it, I'm pretending she was.

On the note of Roob being gone for so long—much as I also wanted them to get back, tbh? I think it provided an EXCELLENT excuse for (non-combat-planning) roleplay. Some of the best moments likely wouldn't have happened if Roob hadn't dipped.

God bless Craigor for INSISTING they all go out and get ice cream. In my head, Craigor's vital role in the found family is that he keeps everyone sane by forcing them to indulge in small pleasures like dairy queen.

Cadmus removing Florence's stitch for her was such a good casual moment of intimacy. It's like letting someone do your makeup for you, only in a more brutal and fucked-up scenario because it's RSR. Nobody fucking look at me I love their friendship and will talk about it for ages

I actually like how Isabelle's "dry anger" finally broke into crying. It feels more in-character that she's been trying to act tough and uncaring this whole time, but really, she's just overwhelmed. I also like how it's more obvious now when she's being possessed by Venutia. HUGE "the souls of the innocent" "a bagel!" energy.

On that note: there's a moment I've always loved where Isabelle uses a Beam of Unreality and deletes several rock fans, and Connor says to Cadmus "stick with me here: there might be something more dangerous to your health here than the goddamn rock and rollers," to which Cadmus (who didn't see the beam) replies "who, Isabelle? she wouldn't hurt a fly!"

What I'm saying is, I want that moment to happen again but now with both Isabelle and Cadmus having the knowledge that she IS a monster. But they both choose to keep quiet about it. That's Cadmus's work daughter, he is not losing ANOTHER person in his life—

ISABELLE IN GENERAL WAS GREAT THIS SESSION. HER BIG SPEECH? A+. GOOD JOB, SIX, YOU GAVE A CONCLUSIVE THEME AND CAP TO THIS SHOW THAT HAD THE BALLS TO BRING UP THE QUESTIONS JELLO WOULDN'T.

Carol/Carmen in general was a really great antagonist. Sympathetic in nature, simple motivations that make sense to her character, and still a massive bitch who needs to be stopped. I don't have any brainrot over her but I felt the need to acknowledge her since, y'know, the whole series kinda hinged on her.

Congrats to that one person for getting their rat canonized

in conclusion,

RSR good

[mazyb0i]

Other RnM fans?

Rick n Morty fan creator/artist here, trying to make friend brohs with ppl who are also obsessed with the show. I have a hard time reaching out due to my anxiety. (proshippers DNI)

tldr; you're also a neurodivergent queer artist nutjob that makes crackpipe art an shitposts, heavily kins a character at one point or another, and we should be friends because we can be insane together LMFAO

Fav show ships: BP x Rick all day, (I love flesh curtains, and their dynamic is just so yes... I...) Morty x Alaska (i named the vat of acid gf Alaska because the Alaska trip..) Summer x that one girl... Morticia X Jessica, Rickcest/ Rick selfcest is aight, I obsess over Miamicop. I think selfcest in cloning / multiuniverse theory is harmless, but don't come at me with any of that proshipper/inc3st/rickorty shit. I will block you, report you, and put you on a DNI beware list; this is a threat & a warning. That shit is never EVER ok.

if we become friends/wanna know about;

I'm diagnosed Audhd, I'm a transmasc demiboy, I like to be referred to as nonbinary and a transgender male with He/They pronouns. Panromantic Demisexual.

I'm a rick kinnie, just means I identify with rick, in another universe I could be him XD, I relate to him, we share the same personality literally (ENTP 7w8); he's my self identifying comfort character. But my big interest with this show/comic is probably due to some kind of autistic hyper fixation and imprintation.

Hobbies: Crafting, Digital illustration, Fursuit /Costume making, Youtube, 3D designing, Making silly video skits, Writing, Character design, Shit posting, Creating ai voice bots for fun n fandom purposes (will make le memes), Trying to be a youtuber like Imbrandonfarris and Britany Broski, collecting stuff, VRchat, Collecting fluffy soft shit like stuffies, pillows, blankets, and hoodies. I SLEEP IN A NEST OF ALL OF THESE

Personality?: Chaotic, Unhinged, Tired and fed up with this shit, All the Energy AND NO ENERGY, I'm so tired please god help me, i'm an enigma. Ambiverted. If ur looking for a cool crazy cat dude broh who draws weird ass digital art and is always tired but jacked on coffe, adderall, and Naproxen i'm your guy.... :'}

I do alot of art and have alot of burnouts due to my adhd- I've been told I'm  innovative, clever, and expressive. I can jury-rig your glasses easily with a paperclip if you're screw comes out and loose frames causes the lens to pop. I'm very detail and idea-oriented, i come up with thousands of ideas, questions, and theories. Because of this, I tend to come up with one idea after another without actually going forward with plans and actions because i get so overwhelmed with my massive brain XD

Even tho I'm socially awkward, I love people, I want to make friends. I like being alone a lot but I hate feeling lonely. :C When I get to know you I'm very very chatty; as long as I'm not too tired or piled with heaps of assignments. I would say I'm pretty laid-back and easy to get along with, I get so stuck up in my personal world up in my head that I lose sight of important things around me, I blame the adhd. I'm an observer, I like to watch and see how things happen, I am a very hands on person.

I'm constantly learning, i love science with a passion. I got hyperfixated on evolution of different animal clades a while back. I am immensely curious and focused on understanding how the world operates and functions. I'm looking for mental and intellectual stimulation, lettuce skip casual conversation about wheather- whats your favorite dinosaur? (fuck ignore my dyslexia) and before you say a pterodactyl let me stop you right there- they aren't dinosaurs. if you like understanding the world through learning various things about science, technology, or culture, I'm your guy. but I'm also just a silly hoo hoo aah smart ass.

god this is finally done... I've been writing this for an hour......

[thesunw1tch]

Moving-In Ritual

Goldie's Guide To Witchcraft: A Tumblr Grimoire for the Masses

Hello All! It's me, The Sun Witch! I figured that since my Moving-Out Ritual post did so well, I might as well post a template for what to do once you actually move! I'm actually moving into my next apartment in about a month, so I'm in the same boat with y'all.

I believe that you can implement your path as loosely or as strongly as you like in the following phases. I didn't quite recommend it last time since the goal was to create a blank slate, but this time? You kinda go wild, it's your new space, let it get to know you!

For example, in my new place? I'm an eclectic but primarily a Sun Witch, so I will line up the following steps with specific times of day if I can. My exact move-in and move-out time has not been expressed yet by my building, so we'll see if I can make my plan work. Anyhow, you could do the same, but I encourage you to get creative with it!!!

Phase 1: Physical Cleaning

I bet that once you get to your new place, you're going to need to do a few things before you start unpacking boxes. Start by...

Check for cobwebs, overly shadowy undercarriages, rust, mold, lime or calcium build-up, etc. Not only are these things just a plain eye sore, but they can cause you to feel negatively towards your new home, which in turn could welcome negative energies.

Do your best to fix these issues if they will obstruct your ability to be comfortable or will make the moving-in process strenuous.

Organize your boxes of belongings! This may be common sense, but please place boxes for specific rooms in those respective places. It'll just make it easier in the long run.

This is just a personal touch, but I like to keep the doorways and windows open whenever I clean to air out any lingering dust or chemical smells from a previous tenant or what have you. This can also help with the next step...

Phase 2: Spiritual Cleaning

Hopefully, you've listened to step one and haven't jumped straight here. Hopefully, all immediate physical abnormalities have been fixed, or at least accounted for. Additionally, you'll want to unpack before continuing on to make things a little easier. This may take a while, but there's no pressure to rush through it - take your time and organize your new space, let it get to know you, and find ways to best serve you. I've found that when you treat a place nicely, cleanly, and with purpose, it'll do the same to you!

Our next phase is dedicated to spiritually cleanse the space. There is an abundance of banishing, warding, protecting, cleansing, etc materials out there for y'all, so I won't include many specifics in this next portion.

Cleanse! Personally, I can't use smoke in my complex, and since I know this is the same for many others, I suggest using other elements! For instance, I'll probably use salt water or a method of wind cleansing to clean the slate! I can make a post on wind magick in the future if someone wants

Protect! In my own practice, I like to use sigils and the element of fire when possible. Now, I know I said we aren't going to use smoke, so instead I like to incorporate solar energies or visuals into the space. Ward and Banish however you feel comfortable as well :)

Flourishing! This is the fun part!!! Personally, I use air freshners for practicalities sake but you can use anything you'd like. Ask yourself what vibes you want to attract into your space - love? Sleep? Happiness? Choose a fragrance or make your own Flourishing spray and get to it! You can even take it a step further and use bundles of real dried herbs and flowers to really Amp it up!

Phase 3: Personalize

Everyone's practice is going to look different, as I have stressed throughout my posts on this blog, but what I'm going to add here is that it is crucial you personalize your space in a witchy way as well. Whether this means following traditional rituals or house warming customs of your practice or familial culture, or even just making a new ritual in your space is up to you!

I am a firm believer in the idea that your space isn't yours unless it feels like yours. Make sure your energy is flowing throughout your new home, that you're attracting that same sort of energy - you can do this anyway you please! If anyone wants specific examples or what I do, just let me know and link a post here :)

a n d that's pretty much it! I tried to condense the information here rather than in my previous moving post, so I hope you find this helpful :)

[classasurreptitiouslurker]

Gabriel's Memory, Again

So, a while back I mentioned that I found that, with a nitpick-y approach, you could arguably say that all of the times (I make it five, but let me know if I've forgotten anything) when Jim remembers - using the term loosely here, because I'm also including his trances - something of Gabriel all operate differently. This, now, is the nitpick in question. Fair warning: there's no conclusion to be had here, since there's not enough similarities to draw one, and just the fact of the differences also isn't exactly sufficient for that, and as I mainly wrote this to lay it and my thoughts out - for clarity, recall and organisation, but also as a starting point and, so to speak, to-do list for things I want to look at still - it may be a little (or little more) rough.

First up, going by episode chronology, we've got whatever it was that drove Jim to seek out Aziraphale to begin with. From what he says, it seems to have been a combination of perceptions that led him to Aziraphale: a vague sense of doom - the "something terrible" - and an equally vague sense that this was a being who could help and shelter him - "as long as I came here [it] might not happen to me". Whether he's feeling love, or ethereal energy, or still subconsciously retaining a memory of Aziraphale's personality, or of a plan he formed while he was still Gabriel, and what exactly the "something terrible" actually was, since he can't actually remember, just that it's coming (and how did he find the bookshop anyways?), is, while interesting and a topic for the future, not making much of a difference here. Either way, whatever precisely's behind this, it's manifesting in a way that seems like a sort of sixth sense, a vague, generalised impression, strong enough to move him but not so strong as to give him any urgency, apparently emotion-based and possibly, at least partially, not actually a memory at all.

Next is when starts singing Everyday to himself in E2. He has no idea why he starts doing it - he doesn't even realise he is at first - or where it came from and it seems to have come to him later, rather than being something he knew from the start, with no particular trigger beyond a possible tenuous after K comes L -> L = love -> love = Beelzebub -> Beelzebub = Everyday connection, in which case it's still not jarring or abrupt in the way he suddenly gets snapped into his trance later in the episode. Everyday featured prominently in two of the three key Beelzebub meetings we were shown, and is a symbol of their relationship, not to mention played a fairly major role in the memory of him receiving the fly, the critical component of his escape plan, making it a personally significant piece of information. Like the instinct that made him seek out Aziraphale, it revolves around emotion; however, beyond that, it's practically entirely opposite. Whereas the former's broad, seemingly slightly random, and without the details to make sense of it, Everyday's essentially one single important detail, completely isolated and context-free, something we later learn is special to Gabriel, but which is without that additional background far too narrow in scope to explain even its presence, let alone its meaning.

In the same episode, we also get his first trance-like altered state. He 'snaps' into this state after Crowley directly questions him about "the first thing [he] remember[s]" - possibly what he meant in the last episode by "ask him properly" (and another post - really this whole paragraph is) - although snaps isn't really the right word for the way he struggles into the trance, wrestling either with his own memory or a possessing force. The process seems exhausting and painful, and he says he can't keep going, adding "not anymore" with a surprising sudden flash of insight into his former capabilities, and he appears disorientated - but aware of the situation - afterwards. His eyes go back to Supreme Archangel Gabriel purple and God's voice echoes alongside his when he speaks. The words are also God's, spoken when Gabriel was not actually present. It seems unlikely that the Bildad masquerade would have gone the way it did if he'd been spying on that scene, but there's no way to truly eliminate the possibility that he somehow overheard God, though that seems an utterly random memory to procure. It's possible God is somehow speaking through him, or perhaps Gabriel simply has access to Her words, in form of some kind of God's Messenger function, however, I've also wondered whether they both use the same words because they are both referring to the same, third, thing. Regardless of what exactly's going on here - as I said, I'd like to make a separate post for that sometime - it doesn't fit into a pattern with either of the previous occurrences, which, okay, this is a separate matter, but it doesn't seem the same as his next trance either.

Coming to said next trance: at the end of E3, Jim gets (apparently) triggered by Crowley's use of the word "tempest", which features in his own words, and accordingly, seems to have acted as a sort of key or index. Once again, there's a clear verbal cue, though of slightly different format, that snaps him into his trance, delivered, again, by Crowley. It looks smoother this time however, less of a struggle and more a fluid transition from one moment to the next. His eyes revert to Angel-Gabriel-BluePurple and while I personally don't hear anyone speaking, I'm taking other people's word that it sounds like there's a woman voice overlaid; it's certainly not God speaking again though. The words themselves, bizarrely enough considering that this is all about memory, sound very much like a prophecy. Of course it's possible that the memory element comes back in if he's either repeating a prophecy he's heard or read before (greetings to Agnes) or if it's referring to an event that's already happened (or that it's not a prophecy at all) but at first glance, we seem to be dealing with the future instead of the past, which, besides being strange, is distinctly the opposite of last time's distant biblical past. After the trance ends, with a moment's delay that almost gave the impression he was going to say more, Jim's memory appears inexplicably reverted to its E1 state, something I'd say doesn't seem to happen after the first trance. Having presumably plot relevant for as-yet-unknown reasons, clearly otherworldly moments of recollection, they would naturally be distinct from the 'regular' workings of Jim's amnesia, but the issue is that they're also different from each other.

Finally, there's his conversation with Crowley in E5, in which he describes where his memory is: "In a matchbox. No, I took it out first... and I put it in the box and I brought it here...". There's only really one piece missing here, the fly, which is the most important bit, sure, but at the same time a fairly small one. Beyond that, this is a fairly focused, specific, relevant memory of direct personal importance, decently detailed and even showing signs of putting a chronology back together, with which he is able to give a direct, on-topic answer to a question. He then follows this up with the "institutional problem" comment, which is unfortunately, unlike the matchbox-memory segment, back to being totally abstracted from context. It does relate to the topic, since it was connected to his trial, but of course, for the characters it's once again an entirely random statement. Still, this whole sequence (triggered once again by Crowley's probing) is the most precision Jim ever shows regarding Gabriel's memories, offering specific details and relevant, targeted, albeit not actually useful, answers, an on-point factualness that doesn't really align with the emotionally-driven, intuition-like flashes of his previous memories. He also says that it hurts to remember, which seems to be more the case in his first trance - he's even repeating the 'head not big enough' here - than in the two previous - and despite their differences, still more similar to this than said trance - cases of 'normal' remembering.

[samurai-skittle-squad]

I wrote a stupid thing about Seiji meeting a creepy fortune teller (it's Morpheus because I just can't resist getting my big ol freak space wizard involved in everything I do). May or may not be canon to Take Me Back To Eden, taking place between Gaiden and TMBE.

Being let loose into a busy night time festival should have been a nice thing, but he couldn't help but feel more tired at the prospect of wandering around a crowded place while also having to babysit his younger sister while she made the rounds. She had no shortage of energy and was delighted by the chance of getting to run into her friends from school. Seiji, on the other hand, had quite enough polite small talk for one day and would have been content to make the rounds at his own pace and then head home for some peace and quiet.

“Satsuki! Did you hear?” One of his sister’s friends loudly ‘whispered’. “There's a pretty good fortune teller booth this year!”

“How exactly can you tell she's good? Just cause she gave you a good fortune doesn't mean she's good. What if it doesn't come true?” 

“Trust me, you can just tell!”

As their conversation dragged on he tuned them out and began to focus his attention elsewhere. Tending the dojo’s festival booth and doing other tasks for friends of his parents here and there had kept them both busy all through the afternoon and evening. All he really wanted to do was get something to eat and sit down for a while. Maybe look for fireflies while he waited for the fireworks. Satsuki was turning back to speak to him.

“Alright Seiji, Tomoe and I wanna go meet up with some of our other friends by the fortune teller, let's go!” His sister grabbed him by the arm to drag him.

“Satsuki! Knock it off, you don't need to drag me.” 

“What? Bummed out that Mom and Dad made you take me with you? Were you hoping to meet up with your crush or something?”

A sigh escaped him. “You know that's not what it is.”

Her annoyed, bratty expression softened up a bit. “Yeah I know. You are all polite chit-chatted out. But for whatever reason, a 14 year old girl can't go by herself when her brother could when he was 14.”

“If I recall,” A little smugness came out in his voice. “Mother said I was to keep an eye on you because of last year’s little incident.”

“It was just a stupid little prank!” Satsuki yelped. “Anyway, just let me do this one thing and then we can go sit in the dark or whatever else it is you do for fun other than swords.”

With a wave and a half amused eye roll,  he ushered her on. “Right, you know how much I love to sit silently in the dark and do nothing. Go on, lead the way.”

“Are you sure you're not planning to become a monk out of high school?”

“Get going!” He gave her a light push and she started jogging on ahead, laughing at her own stupid joke.

The little tent didn't take too long to find, despite the fact that it was dark purple and could easily be passed by in the relatively dark spot it was sat in. It was a bit more..

Western influenced maybe? Heavy velvet and gold trim faintly glittering in lantern light. A little group of giggling teen girls were gathered by the tent, whispering to one another. His sister and her friend ran over to meet with them and he noticed one of his own classmates near by, holding onto the hand of her little brother. He turned his gaze elsewhere and still he could feel her notice him. When he turned to acknowledge her she shyly looked away. Really he would rather not be bothered anyway.

Satsuki rushed over to him. “Hey hey! Why don't you go Seiji? Get your fortune told!”

Several of his sister's friends chimed off as well with “Yeah you should!” and “She's really great!”

“I thought you wanted to do this?” He sighed.

“I-I do!” She sputtered. “But I want to ask about something specific and I'm trying to decide. You might as well anyway! You're already here!”

“There's nothing I want to ask-” 

“It doesn't matter! Just go for it!” Satsuki pushed him through the tent flaps and ran back to her friends giggling.

A withered old woman sat at a worn wooden table within the dark confines of the small tent. She gestured toward the seat opposite of her.

“Have a seat young man, you look tired.”

“Thank you.” 

He took his seat as gracefully as one could with a rickety folding metal chair.

“Let's see your palm, dear.”

Pretty standard as far as festival fortune tellers go, he offered her his hand with his palm up turned. The old woman sat thick glasses on the bridge of her nose and gently took his hand.

“Let's see here… Oh, it seems you have been through much hardship…”

With all due respect, you have no idea. He thought.

“...Your life line is a little vague, you should take better care of your health! Youth can only carry you so far.”

“I will try to do better ma’am.”  Not inaccurate perhaps, but still vague enough.

“You certainly should…there may be a young lady in your near future!” 

He could not contain the eye roll. “It seems there often is when I decide to get my fortune told. Thank you ma’am, but I am quite tired and -” 

There was only so much “You should meet my granddaughter!” one could take in 24 hours but to his surprise suddenly the old woman squeezed his hand tightly- her long, black-painted thumbnail biting into his hand.

“Just a moment.” She crooned to him in a quieter tone.”Just a moment of your time, if you will.”

That second line was something else though. He heard the old lady’s voice for sure, but there was another voice in his head layered over it. A deep, otherworldly voice. He glanced down to see the back of the woman’s hand bore a tattoo of a black and green eye. How had he not noticed before?

“What do you want?”

The shadows cast by the dim candlelight in the room seemed to shiver and there was an uncanny feeling that there was something very large in the tent that he could not see.

“I don't want much of anything.” Both voices replied. “Sometimes I can't help but meddle a little bit when I stumble across something interesting and you are…quite…interesting. You are all sharp and bright inside, I know it. I can see it. And all that aside, green is my most favorite color!”

Seiji scoffed. “I was not aware that demons had favorite colors.”

The voices laughed, a bassy sound that made the little wooden table vibrate under his arm. The candles dimmed.

“A demon! My! How passé! Ah, how unfortunately often I am mistaken for something else. Ah well, it doesn't matter. Here I was, minding my own business, watching this little old woman do her ‘fortune’ routine. So content I was to merely observe these festivities! But how can I not have a little fun when someone so intriguing shows himself before me? How can I resist giving you a real fortune?”

“Whatever kind of fortune you have I am not interested in hearing-”

“Shush now, little light, and listen!” Her -its- fingernails dug into his hand painfully. He suddenly felt he could not move.“Don't just listen but listen- there are depths darker than any of these flickering shadows, yes? You and I know this. What is the dark? The night? The shade cast in contrast to the light? Nay, my friend. The real darkness- it chokes out every single fragile, little, good thing doesn't it? It is in all things that live, threatening to swallow them whole, dragged down into the emptiest abyss. It is all too easy to become lost in that place. That is all just to say this: If you find any lonely wanderers out there lost in the dark, perhaps use that light of yours to guide them back?”

The tent seemed darker, the air heavy with the thing’s presence, whatever it was. Behind the old fortune teller her shadow stretched strangely. 

“Oh and you never know, if you do meet a girl maybe it would be nice. Who knows?” 

He heard the deep voice laugh alone. Whatever this entity was, it didn't like to show itself, but seemed strangely confident all the same. It tapped the old woman’s long nails across the table and hummed to itself.

“What kind of game are you playing?” He readied himself, though this kind of fight in the middle of a festival was certainly not ideal.

“No games here, little light! No fights here either. Truthfully, I detest violence! It's why I hesitate to show myself in these sorts of situations. Surely you understand?” 

“It sounds cowardly to me. Hiding behind this poor woman so you can taunt me like this.”

“Taunt you? Young man, I don't wish to show myself to save us both the trouble.” It sounded exasperated. Still, past experience kept him on edge, he could not afford to let his guard down. Not again. Even if he had to fight here…

“Hm.” The deep voice hummed thoughtfully. “Still you are afraid-”

That was enough. The still fresh memory of what had occurred in America filled his mind and he saw red. He began to call the armor to him, but suddenly his body felt terribly cold- as if an unseen hand of ice had seized him.

“SIT.” The voice boomed. The volume it reached despite being in his mind made his head hurt and his ears ring. He was firmly but gently pushed back into the metal chair and at once the cold vanished.

“What…what did you do to me?”

“AHEM. I merely sat you back in the chair. Forgive me, it seems I have struck a nerve. I do not experience the emotions that you do, and I forgot myself. I have overstepped, I will take my leave.”

“Wait. I'm sorry.” Seiji took a deep breath. It felt unwise to speak with something like this but perhaps he had been quick to judge. He knew what the presence of demons felt like and it did not feel like this. “You spoke of a darkness? What is it? Will you tell me what is coming?”

There was a silent pause. He could almost feel it tilt it's head curiously.

“It is already here.” It said at last. “It is always here. It is in you, and nearly compelled you to lash out at me. It is despair, my friend.”

He felt a weight settle inside his heart. 

“I see.”

“But you have beaten it before, haven't you? And you will again. Perhaps even for more than just yourself.” The old woman leaned back into the darkness, leaving only the strange green eyes shining out from nothing.  “Go well, little light. Enjoy this modicum of rest.”

Gradually the whole room brightened and the heavy air cleared. The eerie shadows seemed to slide out of the tent, rustling the edges as they passed. He could see the fortune teller again, looking dazed as if she had just woken up.

“Oh dear!” The old woman cried, fortunately only in her own voice this time. “I must be more tired than I thought. So sorry dearie, I think I'll need to close up early. I must have waited too long to eat.”

“That's alright ma’am.”  Whatever had been there was gone now, leaving him only with a sense of unease.“Should I get something for you?”

“Oh no, that's quite alright. My granddaughter should be right outside. I'll be fine.”

“Take care, ma’am.”

He bowed and quietly left the tent. Almost immediately his sister was upon him.

“C’mon! Stay in there for more than a minute at least! I still haven't decided!”

It had certainly been more than a minute, at least half an hour, he thought. Whatever spoke through that woman seemed to have altered the passage of time. Perhaps that explained while no one else came in during their entire exchange.  “Unfortunately, she is feeling unwell and needs rest.”

“Really?!” Satsuki groaned. “But I didn't get my fortune told! What a bust!”

He watched his classmate he had spotted earlier run up to the old fortune teller and take her hand. Overhead, the fireworks began, filling the sky with colors. Beyond them, Seiji thought he could see the stars themselves shift ever so slightly, as if pushed by a dark shape like an eel moving beneath the surface of water.

[wardenred]

Sapphic September 2: Holographic

From the hypothetical sequel from one of those drafts in my "to edit" pile, though I confess sometimes I think the sequel is the real story.

"A hologram," Flo spat. "I can't believe it. We tracked all the way here for a fucking hologram."

Standing sixty feet away, it was obvious. The fence that seemed so solid from where they had began their track now flickered in the foggy afternoon sunlight. The same went for the stone walls behind it. This wasn't a compound. This wasn't anyone's home. The gravel and the grass were the only real things about the vision at the top of the hill.

Flo kicked a few stones out of her way, hard.

By her side, Jules remained annoyingly unperturbed. "There must be some kind of energy source powering it," she pointed out, cocking her head to the side as she studied the holo. "Maybe if we locate it, we can use it to charge our gadgets."

Deep breath. Stop gritting your teeth. Flo forced the angry tension as far down her spine as she was able. Good, good, keep your shoulders loose. Jules meant well. Jules was the kindest person she knew. Jules wasn't doing this to test her patience.

"Maybe if we use it to charge our stuff, whoever owns it shows up and does not greet us warmly. Do you really think this thing was created as the Badland’s equivalent of a free electricity hub? It's probably a trap."

"It's really hard to trap people in a hologram."

"You know what I mean!"

Jules let out a small sigh, blew a strand of sandy blond hair out of her eyes, and looked straight at Flo. "Honey. This isn't the city. Not everything you see is out to get you."

Don't call me honey when I've forgotten how to be sweet. "Yeah. Tell that to those dustcats that chased us across the bridge."

For some reason, Jules saw this as a reason to smile. "I'm quite sure this fake house is maintained by people, not animals. And people have an important advantage: they can be reasoned with."

"Yeah, and they can also pretend to be reasonable and kind and stuff while they plot to kill you." Flo squinted at the non-compound, trying to spot any signs of life. It really fucked with her perception, the way the hologram kept flickering subtly. Over and over, she started thinking that yes, there: a hint of movement that couldn't be attributed to the wind playing with the tall grass, the beginnings of a shadow falling on the thin path. But no, each time it was merely the unsteadiness of hologram. Damn those outdated technologies.

And damn her own moodiness, too, because this was supposed to be an adventure. The first day of the rest of their new life together, away from the cities and the corporations, heroes and villains, duties and dues. Only the first day, not even past noon, and already Flo wanted to go back.

A warm, steady pressure on the back of her neck drew her out of her thoughts. Jules hummed an off-key tune, playing idly with a loose strand that had broken out of Flo's braid. Her nail grazed the unhealed cyberwar port. Flo shivered.

"We really need to find a way to charge our stuff," Jules said softly. "Especially the accumulators. It's only getting more cloudy. We can't rely on the sun too much, and we've used up so much energy while we were running from those cats."

Flo bit back a groan. "Yeah. All right, then. Let's climb the rest of the hill and yell, 'Hello!' at some crazy people who have set up an artificial mirage in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like an awesome plan."

She took a step forward, a little too sharply, shrugging Jules's touch off without meaning to. The first day of the rest of their lives, and wasn't she already fucking things up?

"Hey," Jules called after her. Flo turned her head to find her standing in the same spot, her hand still hovering in the air. She was biting her upper lip the way she always did when she was nervous. "Do you... do you regret this?"

Do you regret me?

The real question hung in the air between them, a ball of static, a bundle of shared memories. Jules had asked it before, in the same words, with the same look, the first time Flo'd had to make the very same choice. Jules or Mel. Happiness or revenge. There had been no wastelands and holograms around them that first time. Only the beige walls of a half-unpacked kitchen in their new home, the smell of Jules's cooking, the cybernetically enhanced plants glowing softly on the window sill.

Flo had known her answer then, and she knew it now.

"No. Never."

She only hoped this time she’d be able to stick to it better.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 22.8.24

Dream 1: I was walking in my home city and I was with a group of people and we passed by a McDonald's. Then a few minutes later when we'd already turned the corner, one girl said, Oh I wanted to order something from there. I said, Don't you worry there's another one coming up, you can always trust that there'll be another McDonalds a short distance away. Sure enough, we could see one maybe 100m away. It felt like maybe these girls weren't from here and I was showing them around or something.

Dream 2: I was in Vietnam on holiday with a group of people. I knew I was going to be there for 10 days. I had looked forward to it and I knew I would look really tan by the time I got home. I haven't had any sun in ages. We all slept on a huge mattress which was on the ground that pretty much covered the entire floor of the room. During my sleep I was letting out so much gas, it was wild (LMAO sorry). I kinda figured everyone was asleep and hadn't heard me. When I woke up in the morning I felt embarrassed thinking how that was a pretty bold assumption to make just because everyone was silent at the time. I kinda knew they were asleep though, I could sense it and no one was acting any differently toward like disgusted or anything. Or maybe they had head and just didn't care. I just let it go. Then everyone woke up and we laid there awhile and lounged. SM was there. We were wondering what we would do today and looking up different things to do on our phones. SM and I gravitated toward each other, inching closer and closer. I felt him and he felt me. There was a strong energy of longing.

I was playing music on my phone. There was one song I played which was a love song and each time a corny lyric came on I seemed to hear it extra loud, like it’s all I could hear and I became hyper aware of it. I think he did too (this has happened irl with the work radio). Other songs were played and I kept changing it which he seemed amused by. I felt like the apple of his eye. He was watching me with such love and admiration and I felt like I was the most beautiful girl in the world when I was just being silly, lying there in my pyjamas. I just had on an oversized t-shirt and when I got up to move closer, I think my backside showed but there was no feeling of being objectified at all.

I kept thinking that we were in Ha Noi but I felt strange about it in the back of my mind, like why would I be here? If I was in Vietnam, I should be somewhere in the South where my parents are from. I would type in Ho Chi Minh city in google and then backspace because I started realising I might actually be in Ha Noi.

Then we got up because we decided on some rough plans for the day. There was some other guy there who I knew liked me and was trying to pursue me. He said, So you wanna get high? I'll get you some. I didn’t know how he was going to get a connect in a foreign country but he seemed confident. I was a bit hesitant. I said, Well I dunno because it makes me dumb for like 3 days afterward. I was tossing up whether it was worth it or not. He said it affects him like that too for 3 days also. He said, Come on you don’t get back home till next week. He was right, I would have heaps of time to recover. I ended up agreeing because why don’t I let loose a little and live? I'm on holiday after all. I said ok but I’ll just do a few puffs. I didn't want to go crazy with it. I knew that this guy would look after me while I was here and even though he wasn’t my type.

We left the house as a group and my intern was there and I could hear him telling us about some odd way to wash dishes here in his home. I guess we were all here because he was hosting and irl he is from somewhere in Ha Noi (like a nearby country town) so I guess I was in the north after all. He said that here, we just leave the dirty dishes outside and in time it gets clean. I think he meant it undergoes some kind of process to do with the elements. I thought it was kinda intriguing, this way of doing things I’d never heard of before. I felt kinda glad I was here but not ecstatic or anything.

[otherworldsjt]

Death's Fury Chapter VIII: New Introduction

      Ahh, there's nothing like some well-needed self-cleaning. The bathroom here was practically a spa. The tub had jets that turned it into a jacuzzi, and it also contained sulfur sediments to help with relaxing. After soaking in the tub, I stepped into a class-cased shower that sensed my biometrics through the floor. The water immediately turned on to the perfect pressure and temperature for my skin. After washing, I simply needed to say "dry" for warm air to blow from vents in the floor and shower head. In just 30 seconds I was completely dry. My hair remained a little damp but that's fine.

      After that experience, I planned to talk to Mom and Dad about upgrading our shower system back home.

       When I looked in the long mirror over the sink, I stared at my grey streak of hair. Although it irked me at first, I think it was starting to suit me. It added character, so I decided I liked it. I just didn't need any more.

      After throwing on some clean clothes I stepped out of the bathroom. Then while walking through the bedroom, I sensed someone else had arrived.

      It must be the person Tymon wanted to introduce us to, I thought to myself.

      I tied my hair in a loose ponytail as I headed toward the room door. When I exited the room I saw Tymon, Trik, and the new person I sensed each standing in the living.

      When I looked at Trik I noticed he seemed a little tense. He must've found something in the house that bothered him and was trying to hold it in. How does a SAS have OCD, I don't know.

      As I approached them, I took a good look at Tymon's friend.

      I was amazed at how beautiful she was. Like Tymon, her beauty seemed inhuman. If not for the low energy I was sensing from her and Trik not jumping to tell me otherwise, I would assume she was a Primordial too.

      There wasn't a single flaw about her; she even smelled perfect. Her demeanor was a bit timid, but there was also something fierce about her like the wrong move would set her off. I liked her already.

      "Hi! You must be Tymon's friend. I'm Alissia," I said as I extended a hand to her.

      "Yeah, we've been friends for a couple of years now. I'm Za'Fia," she said as she shook my hand.

      Alissia noticed a ring on Za'Fia's hand glowing red. At a closer look, it had many tiny crystals embedded around the ring with one large diamond-shaped crystal in the middle.

      "Wow, those are pure rupture prisms!" I exclaimed. "That ring must've cost a fortune; you must be really rich."

      "My parents died in an accident a long time ago and I inherited a large trust fund," Za'Fia replied wistfully. "But I'm happy I could purchase the ring since it helped me become friends with Tymon. If I focus, the crystals ward off Tymon's curse."

      "I'm sorry about your parents," I said empathetically. I hope I hadn't reopened a wound.

      "You're fine. As I said, it was an accident, and it was a long time ago," she said.

      After an awkward moment of silence, Tymon spoke out.

      "Well, now that everyone's here let's get to it," Tymon said as he moved to the couch.

      Tymon and Za'Fia sat on the short end of the couch while I sat on the other piece. Trik decided to float next to me.

      We spent the next ten minutes explaining to Za'Fia how the "curse" they thought Tymon had was actually his spirit energy. Then I told her who The Primordials were and that they really exist, and it was my job to find them, which led to me revealing Tymon as a Primordial.

      "Are you sure you should be telling me all of this?" Za'Fia asked skeptically.

      "Since the secrets to spirit manipulation became common knowledge, Watchers don't stand out like they would have before, so we don't have any reason to remain a secret anymore. Don't get me wrong, we're not going around advertising it, but it's not how it used to be. Speaking of..."

      After that, I explained the rediscovery of Greed and Despair, my belief that they had something to do with the previous Death's death, and how I believed they needed to be put in line before they killed another Primordial. Trik stayed unnaturally quiet through everything but remained tense until the explanation ended.

      "So, Tymon's like the god of death?" Za'Fia asked for clarification.

      "We prefer to refer to them as Primordials, but in a sense, I guess so, yeah," I replied.

      "And the previous...Death Primordial, who was – as you say – a more experienced Supreme Primordial...was believed to have been killed by these Greed and Despair Primordials," Za'Fia restated. "Yet you expect Tymon, who doesn't know how to control his powers as a Primordial to stop them? From my understanding, they haven't done anything that threatens the Primordials or us humans since the previous Death Primordial was killed. Perhaps there's no reason for Tymon to risk his life fighting these other two Primordials."

      "We don't expect Tymon to confront them yet," I stated. "The plan is to take him to HQ tomorrow so that he can be trained and get a better feel for his abilities. Then we'll find another Primordial who's most likely already well established with their abilities to come along with us. We don't want it to come to a fight, but we don't know what Greed and Despair's agenda is. We want to make sure they understand the consequences of killing a Primordial in case they target another one. We also want to find out exactly how they managed to take down someone as powerful as Death, why'd they kill him, why'd they reveal themselves after so long, and why'd they start this Age of Conversion we're in. There's just too much unknown information for me to just ignore them. And my guts – along with the consideration of their titles – tell me nothing good will come from letting them go unchecked."

       "And there's also something else," Tymon interjected. "While I was learning to sense through my spirit energy, I felt someone more powerful than me watching us. That's why I asked if there were any other Primordials nearby earlier."

      There was a brief moment of silence.

      "So, Greed and Despair have been watching you," Trik said to Tymon. He seemed to be less tense now. "Perhaps they plan to target you again."

      I turned my attention back to Za'Fia.

      "As you can see, Tymon sitting back and doing nothing doesn't seem to be an option. I get that you're his friend and you're worried, but whether you want him to be or not, he's involved in these problems. You can't keep him from his responsibilities," I said to her.

      The room went still.

      Tymon nodded his head in agreement and said "She's right, Z. I don't think I'm going to be able to stay out of it even if I wanted to."

      Za'Fia didn't look at Tymon at all. Instead, her gaze went from the floor and locked on me.

      Trik had tensed again. If he had pores, he'd be drenched in sweat right now.

      "Lisa..." He spoke.

      Both Za'Fia and I stared at Trik.

      "What?" I asked.

      Trik stared at me, his eyes pleading. Wha– Oh! Was he telling me I was being rude to Tymon's friend? How had it gone from me making sure he doesn't tick off Tymon to him checking me?

      "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to come off as rude if I did," I said apologetically.

      Za'Fia simply smiled.

      I started to feel mucky. Was it getting warmer?

      Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

[magicsunwheel]

Why You're F#cking Amazing

Pick-a-Card

How to play: pick one of the photos below using your intuition. You can close your eyes and meditate for a bit or just take a few grounding breaths while thinking of the topic. Feeling drawn to more than one is fine! You might have messages in more than one pile

Pile 1 (x) Pile 2 (x) Pile 3 (x)

My pile numbers always go from left to right, then down to the text row (if applicable)

Pile 1

Cards: The High Priestess, Five of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, The Moon Rx, Five of Rods, Ace of Pentacles

You are so intuitive! You're either very in touch with your divine feminine or are working your way there right now. Something about you is severe in the most beautiful way. You can take things seriously when they need to and the way you command a room with just your presence is unmatched. Maybe you're also a tarot reader or involved in spirituality/divination in some way. Maybe you really like Pick-a-Cards.

Something beautiful about you is that you never give up on a fight, especially when you know the end is worth it. Your ambition is strong and you will fight for what you love and what you want. You are not weak-willed by any means.

This also makes you so unique! You work so hard and put so much labor into your love even if you know it will take a long time to come to fruition. The times that you feel discouraged by a lack of results are few and far between. If for some reason you do find yourself wistfully hoping for faster results or an easier path, you can easily remind yourself of why you started in the first place.

You might have moments where you think of yourself as sneaky or like you're hiding a part of yourself from others, like your true self would be too much for them. I'm here to tell you that your intensity is exactly what make you such a beautiful person! You thrive in competition and in adversity. It gives you a chance to show off your quick thinking and survival skills. Others look at you with envy of how you can make an opportunity out of seemingly nothing!

If you need help improving your self-love, Spirit says to stop comparing yourself to others! You are amazing and beautiful and unique all on your own! Throwing yourself into the fray to compete against others who are nothing like you will only fim your inner shine. And you really do shine! When I asked for a card about why you are beautiful, nearly half the damn deck flew out!

Sprit loves you and I love you so please take care of yourself and keep making those amazing opportunities to improve your physical surroundings. (I feel like you have a very clean room/home)

Pile 2

Cards: Nine of Rods, the World, King of Cups, Three of Rods, Ace of Rods, Two of Cups

Ahh the Loona pile!

Similar to Pile 1, but much more fiery! You are resilient! Taking time to collect yourself before pushing forward with a renewed sense of energy and purpose is such an amazing and useful trait. You maybe aren't as commanding of a presence but you have such an inner strength that no one can deny.

You got the World for the reason why you're beautiful! Maybe it's related to physically being very beautiful and possibly exotic-looking. You might have very specific features associated with a certain area of the world that stand out where you live. You also have such a wonderful understanding of the world and where it's currently at. Things can seem negative or like hope is lost but you still seek out the beauty and share it with others. You see opportunity where others do not and feel a sense of peace and connectedness with all of humanity. Wow!

Your uniqueness shines in your emotionality and compassion. You might be a natural born leader who makes sure to understand all under your rule. You lead with kindness and, most importantly, by example. You don't have any desire to use you position for ill-gotten gains. Power to you does not corrupt, it solely provides a tool for you to do good in the world and really make a difference in the lives of others, whether it's on a large or small scale. You are probably the kind of person who makes sure to give money to those who need it when you pass a begging mother and her children, or buying a homeless man a bottle of water on a hot day.

Your card for why you think you are not perfect actually came out quite positive. Maybe you don't have a very low self esteem, but I can see a few possible scenarios here. You might be constantly planning in your head, waiting and watching for the next move to take but never actually getting to the action part. Maybe you're planning for your future and have so much planned out that you're excited for, but haven't made the practical plans on how to actually get there. This could make you feel bad about yourself especially on days where you're reminded of others moving ahead in their lives while you're still planning. Visualisation is very important in manifesting your desired reality! If you are moving slower than others around you, remember that it is okay to not be where "everyone else" is. Life is not a race or a competition. Taking your time to get to where you need to be when you need to be there reminds me of the story of the tortoise and the hare. Quick does not necessarily mean better.

You can improve your self-love by creating! Using your creativity and passion to make something! Create art, whether it's physical/digital art, music, writing, inventing, anything that uses those creative muscles of yours. It doesn't have to be good! Just creating something will help burn up that excess energy you have that's trying to rush you somewhere. Self-expression this way can be a wonderful hobby even if you don't consider yourself as a creative person.

Your kindness really shines through. You care so deeply about the people around you and your spiritual team cares just as deeply about you. You are loved and watched over and protected by Spirit. Others around you also see your sparkle and appreciate and admire you, even if they don't show it. Know you are beautiful and amazing and bringing a light into this world that needs to be here.

Pile 3

Cards: Six of Rods, the Hierophant, Four of Rods, Six of Cups, Ten of Swords, the Hermit Rx

Damn, who are y'all!? You've got some mighty power and pull in this world. Maybe you're a public figure or have some kind of platform, like a social media with many followers. You could also be well-recognized within your field of study/work. Whoever you are, people see you and look up to you. They celebrate you and how amazing you are! Spirit loves this about you and you really shine in the spotlight. Your achievements deserve all this pomp and celebration!

You are naturally authoritative. People listen when you speak and take your words to heart. You might also be a religious person or someone who enjoys organization and the comfort of hierarchy. People will willingly follow you wherever you lead them because they trust you with all their hearts. "A merciful ruler" (lol) You hold your position with grace and dignity befitting a king or queen.

You are unique in ways the public recognizes, but we knew that already! You might be someone who likes to entertain and you throw the greatest parties and get-togethers. Maybe you've planned a wedding and everyone had such an amazing time! You know how to relax and have fun when the time for celebrating arrives. You can out down your guard and bit and let loose. Not many people with such responsibility can let go of the reigns like that, but you don't seem to hold on to control too tightly.

Your past might be a source of anxiety for you. Maybe you're worried that what you've done when you were younger will catch up to you and ruin what you've got going on now, but it's important to remember that the past is the past. It cannot be undone or wished away. Taking time to accept what happened and recognizing that you've moved on to bigger and better things is important here. Whatever happened, take time to heal your childhood wounds and forgive past actions.

Ending this cycle will bring much more self-love to your life. Old habits and patterns being out to rest is the way forward. It might be a painful ending and something you don't necessarily look forward to, but it is something that needs to happen to clear out old energy and welcome in everything new. You can't expect to move on if you're still repeating old actions or ways of thinking. It's time to set these things to rest and evolve. Leave behind what no longer serves you.

Your understanding of yourself knows no bounds. You've taken the time to inquisit yourself and learn all of the shadows that lie there. Self-reflection might be a favored pastime for you. Through this knowledge of yourself you are able to see truths that many struggle to see all their lives. Your light can cut through the fog if bullshit and see the true source of something. Use this knowledge of yourself to become the best version of yourself that you can be! I know you're already on your way there and it's amazing to see! Spirit is so proud of you and loves you so much!

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

[pokenimagines]

Since y’all said you don’t get many sfw requests, what about the subways twins with someone who is easily excitable! Like, they just find magic and fun in the world around them naturally. Like, you could be on an outing with them that just goes to complete shit but they saw a dog so it was still like the best day ever!!! (Once my school bus broke down and I was stuck in it for like 2 hours while we waited for a new one to be sent to us, it was hell but someone walking by lifted up their cat to the window for me to pet so like, who cares that it was 95 out with no Ac, THERE WAS A CAT!!)

As a fellow easily excitable person, I'm here for it. Everything in life can be exciting when you're an idiot who is entertained by a piece of yarn that got caught on a tree and it looks like a worm at a rave.

Discord (16+) - Request Information 

Ingo: Excitable S/O

Ingo is pretty used to his brother being super excited about everything, so when he met you it wasn't too hard to adjust to.

Is that a butterfree?! Ingo is already rolling his sleeves up, prepared to chase after both you and the pokemon.

They're having a sale for icecream? He's prepared to try every single flavor of icecream with you. Probably texting Emmet to see if they have tums at home and if could bring them over. He just knows you're going to be in a food coma in the middle of the street in an hour.

It's still nice though. Ingo is a bit more reserved than his brother and it's fun having you around. Reminding him to let loose and just have fun with the world around him.

It also helps him stay in shape since he's constantly having to chase you around because "Holy shit Ingo, is that a white vulpix? Have you ever seen one? It's not a shiny it's just vhriuwharfloiw!"

Emmet: Excitable S/O

This idiot is just as excitable as you are, and you bet your ass that you'll be feeding off one another's energy.

The cutest little houndoom you've ever seen in the wild? You and Emmet have a ten part plan which includes somehow climbing into a tree and using as skyline to scoop it into a giant net.

Did they just update the Ferris Wheel? Best grab tons of snacks because you guys are going to be riding that thing at least twenty times today.

There is absolutely no calm time when the two of you get together. It's just unadulterated fuckery with you two. You'd probably defeat every single gym in a day if you two felt like it. Just zoomies to every single gym.

It's actually a good thing you guys have Ingo because he's the only one who is able to help keep you guys a little bit calm.

[robininthelabyrinth]

This one's gonna take two asks, I'm incapable of making it more succinct. In Accurate description NHS said "I’m taking you back with me to the Nie sect when all this is over. If your parents want you back, they can come ask nicely.” Could we get that AU? And the Jiangs HAVE to ask nicely, because with the war on the horizon they can't risk alienating the Nies, but they are so bad at it? NHS's half assed plan to poach JC gets more and more solid the longer he has to watch this train wreck.(1/2)

How hard can it be to love your own flesh and blood? Even NMJ has stopped admonishing him for wanting to poach another sect's heir. What a political nightmare that would be. But JC is so relaxed with NHS's birds? And keeping up longer and longer when training with da-ge? And smiling more? And JYL said, she's never seen him so loose in the shoulders? NHS can make this work. JFM and YZY never valued JC anyway 

Part 2 of Accurate Description (necessary to read that first)

-

“Absolutely not,” was the first thing Nie Huaisang’s brother said when Nie Huaisang first raised the idea of kidnapping Jiang Cheng for his own good. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“Nie sect principle three,” Nie Huaisang said.

“Well, shit,” his brother said.

This was because Nie Huaisang’s brother is the best.

“I’ve gotten other people involved in this,” Nie Huaisang added helpfully.

“You’d better have,” his brother said. “I am not dealing with the fallout from this on my own.”

Nie Huaisang nodded happily. That was about what he’d expected.

A few moments later, his brother asked, “Why are we kidnapping him, anyway?”

-

“This is temporary,” Nie Mingjue said gruffly.

“Very temporary,” Jiang Cheng agreed, sounding stiff and awkward. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“You know exactly why you’re here,” Nie Huaisang objected. “I told you why!”

Jiang Cheng gave him a dirty look.

“Also I have no idea how da-ge got you here, but you’re staying,” Nie Huaisang said firmly. “For as long as it takes for your parents to show that they deserve you returning to them. You’re not getting a choice.”

Jiang Cheng’s face was turning red.

“That’s not the deal, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue interjected. “Jiang Wanyin can return home at any time he wishes.”

Nie Huaisang glared, but his brother ignored him.

“He can also stay as long as he wishes,” he said, and this time it was Jiang Cheng’s turn to stare. “If you want others to respect him, you must first pay him the respect he deserves yourself. Now, I have to go, but Jiang Wanyin – know that our home is always open to you.”

He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, then ruffled Nie Huaisang’s hair, and left.

Jiang Cheng looked dazed.

Nie Huaisang smirked.

“…you said something about him giving out hugs?”

“Oh yeah,” Nie Huaisang said. “Great hugs.”

-

“I can’t believe you would betray me like this,” Nie Huaisang whined. “And after all I’ve done for you!”

“A little training’s not going to kill you,” Jiang Cheng said. “Come on already.”

“My brother put you up to this, didn’t he? You sold me out for a hug.”

“I sold you out for the opportunity to go on a proper night-hunt,” Jiang Cheng said. “Also, he said he was proud of the progress I’ve been making on my cultivation and sword training since I got here. And gave me a hug.”

Nie Huaisang grumbled but conceded that his brother was especially difficult to resist when he was in full big brother mode. If he wasn’t, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have been nearly so willing to give up the neat new sword he’d found in the Xuanwu’s cave and store it down in their saber halls until his brother and Baxia could figure out how to suppress it - he hadn’t even realized it was full of resentful energy at first, and he still thought it was especially aesthetic.

“Besides, if you don’t practice something soon, he’ll come after you himself,” Jiang Cheng said. “Wouldn’t you rather train with me?”

“No. You’re just as crazy as he is.”

Jiang Cheng looked disturbingly complimented.

“I’ll come look at your birds later,” he offered.

“You’d do that anyway,” Nie Huaisang said. “You love my birds.”

Jiang Cheng did, too. Nearly as much as he loved all the feral cats that roamed the walls of the Unclean Realm, every single one of which seemed to have immediately pegged him as a soft touch and come nosing around for treats – Nie Huaisang had never seen Jiang Cheng look so calm and peaceful as when he had a cat under his palm.

It really put into perspective how stressed he looked the rest of the time.

“Oh, all right,” he groaned, and Jiang Cheng beamed. “Just know that I hate you.”

“Same to you, Nie-gongzi,” Jiang Cheng said, completely insincere. “Same to you.”

-

“You know, I’m surprised my parents haven’t shown up to demand me back yet,” Jiang Cheng said over lunch one day. “It’s not – it’s not a problem. It’s only – I thought – Mother at least –”

“Oh, they’re demanding all right,” Nie Huaisang sniggered.

“…Nie Huaisang, what have you done,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Conspired, that’s what,” Nie Mingjue said. “I don’t know if I should thank you for discovering my brother’s sole talent, namely for scheming and conspiracies, or to blame you for it, Wanyin – but you do have very loyal friends.”

Jiang Cheng blinked.

“Well, first your parents went to Lanling,” Nie Huaisang explained. “On account of Jin Zixuan and Mianmian very obviously sneaking food around and buying all sorts of things that you would like before smuggling them – very poorly and obviously, mind you – into Jinlin Tower, and of course they were also overheard talking about something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Wanyin’; everyone assumed they were hiding you. Turns out they weren’t, of course; it was just a stray dog they’d named something with similar tones. Not their fault everyone got the wrong idea!”

Jiang Cheng’s eye twitched.

“And then, of course, they went to Gusu, on account of Lan Wangji telling everyone you were his sworn brother –”

“His what?!”

“Well, close enough. On account of how you saved his life.”

“I did not!”

“I thought I heard something about how you carried him on your back as you fled from the Xuanwu’s cave and the Wen sect’s ambushes, when he was exhausted and could not walk,” Nie Mingjue said mildly, and Jiang Cheng spluttered. “Had I heard wrongly?”

“…well, no…but...”

“Of course, you weren’t at Gusu,” Nie Huaisang continued, ignoring them both. “Though there were some heavy implications for a little while that you’d gone off with Lan-gongzi –”

“Isn’t he missing?”

Nie Mingjue coughed and looked down at his plate.

“And none of you said anything?” Jiang Cheng asked, looking between them. “At any point? Did you just, what, not talk to them?”

“I have spoken with your parents several times since they have started looking for you,” Nie Mingjue said, and his voice was suddenly hot with roiling anger. “I have concluded that Huaisang had a point regarding the necessity of their learning how to ask for your return.”

Jiang Cheng blinked.

“Your parents are jerks,” Nie Huaisang volunteered. “And you deserve better.”

“Yes, thank you,” Jiang Cheng said, a little strangled. “I think I – got that.”

“Good.”

-

“It’s just, my jiejie –”

“Supports you being here. She sent you a care package. It’s in your room.”

“…Wei Wuxian –”

“Sent a note along with the package. Says to keep up the good work.”

“How did you even get something like that?!”

“I have my ways.”

-

Nie Huaisang was staring blankly at the wall when Jiang Cheng walked in and did a double take.

“Okay,” he said to Nie Mingjue, sitting patiently nearby with a letter in his hands. “You broke him. How?”

“He just discovered that he inadvertently saved a great deal of lives,” Nie Mingjue said. “As did you, by agreeing to come here.”

“I only agreed to come here because you lied and told me it was necessary to help defend my sect,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, clearly not meaning it.

Nie Huaisang let out a high-pitched and somewhat hysterical giggle.

“It was,” Nie MIngjue said solemnly, offering him the letter. “It appears that Wen Chao was given permission to attack and crush the Jiang sect, but has been delaying in anticipation of your return on account of wanting to deal with all of you at once. The delay allowed our spies time to discover his plans, and to carry warnings to your parents. They were thus able to fortify the Lotus Pier’s defenses against invasion, and to hold it off until aid could arrive – which they wouldn’t have managed if he’d attacked at once, as he would have if you’d been there.”

Jiang Cheng stared.

“Would you like to sit down and stare at the wall?” Nie Mingjue offered kindly.

“…yes please.”

-

“How’d you convince him to let me come here, anyway?” Jiang Cheng asked Nie Huaisang as he packed up his things. He was finally heading back to the Lotus Pier, albeit only long enough to collect soldiers and come back to join what they’d started calling the Sunshot Campaign – his parents had finally figured out where he was and sent word that had, in the view of the Nie, just barely qualified as sufficient to get some leeway.

Lan Wangji was waiting in the hallway to escort him there, and he’d sworn to Nie Huaisang that he would not allow either of Jiang Cheng’s parents to say anything untoward while they were there. He’d looked very serious while he said it, too, which pleased Nie Huaisang to no end and made Jiang Cheng look more than a bit nervous.

“You’re only asking that now?” Nie Huaisang asked, amused.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “You going to tell me or not?”

“It was easy,” he said. “I just invoked Nie sect principle three.”

“…what’s that?”

“‘A fire burns all the same’,” Nie Huaisang said. “Variously interpreted as: ‘Treat your neighbor’s harm as your own’, ‘Do not stand idly by as your neighbor bleeds’, or ‘Indifference to evil is equivalent to evil’.”

Jiang Cheng stared.

“How about ‘if you see someone who needs you, you have an obligation to act’?”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “Okay,” he said. “And?”

“And what?”

“And what else did you say? You convinced him to literally kidnap the heir of another Great Sect; I can’t believe that you accomplished that simply by saying ‘hey principle three applies here, let’s do this’.”

“Maybe I did,” Nie Huaisang sniffed.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll get them out of you one day.”

“Maybe you will,” Nie Huaisang said.

-

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “If I wanted to keep Jiang Cheng permanently, what principle would I have to invoke for that?”

“Nineteen.”

“Nineteen?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “But, da-ge, principle nineteen is the one about marriage – oooooooh.”

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E3; Chapter Three, Holly, Jolly - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘠/𝘯, 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭. 𝘈 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

El sat on Mike's couch, fiddling with the supercomm while the rest of us gathered around the D&D table.

"We just tell our parents we have AV Club after school. That'll give us at least a few hours for Operation Mirkwood." Mike states.

I nod my head in agreement. I never liked lying to my mom, but this was our best bet. If it will give us time to find Will, I'm all in. However, based on Lucas's nervous shifting, he isn't as sure.

"You seriously think that the wei- uh, El knows where Will is?" Lucas darts his eyes at me as he catches himself.

"Just trust me on this, okay?" Mike pleads.

"He's right. Will would do the same for any one of us." My words come out softer than anticipated and I look to Lucas, Mike then Dustin. I can tell they agree with me.

"Okay."

"Did you get the supplies?" Mike asks the three of us.

I straighten up, ready to present what I brought to the table. Lucas perks up, reaching down into his backpack and begins listing off the things he brought.

"Yeah. Binoculars... from 'Nam. Army knife... also from 'Nam. Hammer, camouflage bandana, and the wrist rocket." He pulls out the yellow wrist rocket excitedly, and I chuckle to myself, impressed.

"You're gonna take out the Demogorgon with a slingshot?" Dustin asked, unimpressed.

I scoff and look at my brother, knowing well enough it was better than what he brought.

"Well, what were you planning on doing, throwing a Nutty Bar at it?" I ask with a hint of humor in my tone. Lucas however, takes offense to Dustin's words.

"First of all, it's a wrist rocket. And second of all, the Demogorgon's not real." I look down at my shoes. "It's made up. But if there is something out there, I'm gonna shoot it in the eye..." he pulls back the empty sling and lets it loose, nearly hitting Dustin in the face. "-and blind it."

I have to say, I've got to agree with Lucas's logic here. Then again, we never thought that anyone could move things with their mind and look what El did. I am pulled from my thoughts when I hear Mike sigh.

"Y/n?" He looked to me hopefully.

"Well, with all things considered, I figured at one point or another we would end up needing this." I pulled the makeshift first aid kit from my backpack. Among it was a handful of ace bandage wraps, gauze, ointment. Some band-aids, and even a small pair of tweezers.

I smile proudly and look to Mike who nods his head in approval. "Good idea. We don't know for sure what we are up against." He looks to my brother. "Dustin, what did you get?"

Dustin perks up and empties the contents of his bag out onto the table.

"Well, alrighty." I look to my friends to try and gouge their reactions. "So, we've got..."

Dustin begins naming off all the snacks he brought as Mike and Lucas stare at him with a confused glance.

"-Nutty Bars, Bazooka, Pez, Smarties, Pringles, Nilla Wafers, apple, banana and trail mix." He finishes off with a proud smile, and I can't help but feel bad for him. I mean, I see where he's coming from. It's smart to have snacks in case, but I also feel like it might be a last resort type of thing.

"Seriously?"

"We need energy for our travels. For stamina. And besides, why do we even need weapons anyway? We have her."

"She shut one door!"

"With her mind! Are you kidding me? That's insane! Imagine all the other cool stuff she could do. Like..." His face lights up and he runs over to the plastic Millennium Falcon and picks it up. Oh, this'll be interesting.

"I bet... that she could make this fly! Hey. Hey. Okay, concentrate. Okay?"

I stand there, crossing my arms with an amused look on my face.

She stares blankly at him as he lets the toy fall to the ground with an obnoxious clatter.

"Okay, one more time." She looks back at him, the faint look of mock confusion crosses her face and I bring my hand up to my mouth to try and hide the growing smirk.

"Okay."

I notice from the corner of my eye as Lucas drops his head in what looks to be a mix of disappointment and embarrassment.

"Use your powers, okay?" He drops it again and I can see the amusement in her eyes, which only makes me giggle.

"She's not a dog!" Mike yells.

He stomped over and ripped the toy out of his hands, while I made eye contact with El and we shared a smile.

"Kids! It's time for school!" Mrs. Wheeler's voice carries through to the basement.

We all hastily pack up our things and Lucas and Dustin run up the stairs. Meanwhile, Mike and I stayed behind to say goodbye to El.

"We are gonna need you to stay here, okay?" I ask kindly. She nods her head.

"But you can't make any noise and you can't leave." Michael pleads. She seems uneasy about this but nods in agreement.

"Michael! Y/n!"

I'm about to say something when Mike turns around suddenly and shouts. "COMING!" I jump back slightly, a laugh escaping.

"You know those power lines?" he returns to El, in a completely calm voice, as if nothing happened.

She looks between us confused. "Powerline?"

"Yeah. The ones behind my house?"

"Yes."

"Meet us there, after school." I pipe up, catching on to what Mike was thinking.

"After school?"

"Yeah, 3:15." She sends us an apologetic look, she was clearly confused.

"Mike, what about your watch?" I nudge him, gesturing to his wristwatch. I would give her mine, but I don't have one.

He catches on quickly and begins taking off his watch.

"Ah." Once it's off his wrist, he gestures for her wrist.

El smiles slightly and lets him put the watch on her wrist. She looks to Mike, a smile still on her face as he adjusts the watch. I smile to myself.

'They are too cute.'

"When the numbers read three-one-five, meet us there," I said, grabbing her attention.

She looks down at the watch and recites my instructions.

"Three-one-five."

I smile at her and give a small nod. "Yeah. Three-one-five."

She smiles kindly at me, then at Mike once more. It might just be me, but I could have sworn I saw him blushing. Suddenly, he jumps up and runs up the stairs. I stand up, and dig into my extra bag I brought from home and bring it over to her.

"So, I didn't want you to be bored so I brought some things you might like." I open the bag quickly, knowing I'm keeping everybody waiting. I pull a couple of puzzles and some paper and pens.

"I don't know if you know what puzzles are but I brought you some of my favorites." I place some of my favorite puzzles on the table next to her and she eyes them curiously.

"It's a picture that is in a bunch of different pieces, and you try to fit them all back together. It's a great way to pass the time. And, I didn't know what else you might like so I just grabbed some paper and some of my best pens. You can draw all you want. I wish we could stay with you, but we have to go to school so nobody will suspect anything. We'll be back. Promise." I smile at her and she returns it.

I swing my backpack over my shoulder and wave goodbye before darting up the stairs.

Halfway up, I stop in my tracks and run back to the bottom for a moment.

"Oh. And if you get hungry, you are more than welcome to have Dustin's snacks." I wink and run to catch up.

[meimae]

01/02/22

Hello and welcome to my first immersion overview of 2022! ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

If you're new here, hi, I'm Mae, and this is a list of media I listened to and read this month using the immersion or input method for Japanese language learning.

I came into the month thinking I knew exactly which books I wanted to read and dramas I wanted to see. Of course, not all my plans worked out and I had to work around some weird immersion material choices and unexpected but probably overdue gaps in my learning.

And so we come to this, a month where I almost didn't watch any dramas - I wouldn't have even watched 消えた初恋 literally on the last day of the month if I didn't realize how short it was. It had a standard fluffy plot, so it was simple and easy to listen to in the background while I was dying in grammar hell. ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。

Ah yes, grammar. The bane of my Japanese language learning journey. There's a reason I picked immersion learning as my method, and it was because I absolutely hated grinding grammar exercises in the classroom. I just wanted the language to wash over me, obviously while obsessively doing look-ups while immersing, and somehow magically be able to turn my passive knowledge from input into active output.

But alas, my anxiety has gotten the best of me, and I started to fear that the language books I did read and grind in Anki, Tae Kim and the Dictionary of Japanese Grammar, had run its course and it was finally time to sit down with another grammar resource to stitch up the loose ends.

So for the past week, I've been taking advice from people who seemed to be better at the subject than I am, and I have started to grind through the 新完全マスター 文法 N1 and N2 books, and yes, even the exercises.

Can't say I'm too happy about it, since it has so far drained my energy to read for fun, but if its going to help me somewhat based on other immersion learners' experiences, then I'm willing to give it a try. On the bright side, at least its written fully in Japanese! Never a break from immersion.

And so while I was struggling to get back on the reading grind this last week, I started to read a few chapters of 無職転生. Admittedly, still not much of a light novel reader and its not even for a lack of content I'm interested in, just a lack of drive and motivation. It's something I'd like to work harder on this year.

On the other hand, ひいきびいき is as fun to listen to as ever, now that I have a better reading base. I can still tell there are gaps in my comprehension, but at least it does not sound like gibberish to me like it did a year ago. Progress!

I wish I could tell you guys that I had a good time reading visual novels this month, but honestly it felt like a mess. If seven different visual novels shuffled within a month doesn't clue you in with the kind of concentration struggle I had, then I don't know what to tell you. At least I kept my 1M reading streak. (ﾉ∀`)

My motivation reading VNs started strong and promising, and I finished PARQUET (the beginner VN at TheMoeWay Discord) within the first few days of the month. I was also made aware of the fact that the Steam version of 剣が君 had a lot of bonus content that I missed out on because of the version I played, and so my friend Alex kindly let me read everything I missed. It was absolutely lovely, 11/10. It has been months and nothing has beat this game yet for me.

Then, with my reading high, I turned my attention to the intermediate VN from TMW, and that's where it all went south. 紙の上の魔法使い' s blurb sounded so promising, but I couldn't read past (or listen past for that matter) some stupid lines from the female characters, and so it now unfortunately sits on my stalled pile of VNs. I feel like I got baited into thinking that the characters in this game were smart because they supposedly liked reading. Who knows, maybe I'll revisit it when I'm in the mood for moe girls, but something tells me that it will take a while or never.

In my frustration with the previous game, and due to some previously hyped conversations with my friend Alex from Discord, I decided to play her favorite VN on a whim without looking at the VNDB tags (which proved to be a mistake on my part - always read the tags to filter out games with triggers). Let me introduce you to Omega Vampire, something completely far from my comfort zone, which proved to be detrimental to my reading as well later on.

Count this as the review I have for this game, apparently omegaverse is a huge thing and this game does it well, but it was not enough of a pull for me because I have no idea what the omegaverse is, and I also don't particularly enjoy vampire/werewolf stories thanks Twilight so there's that. So after a while when this VN kept on showing me disturbing sexual content without consent, I had to quit after two routes. Honestly, if I sat and read for another four days or so I could have finished it, but if I had to rinse my eyeballs everytime I tried to read then I'd rather read something else. So yeah, this goes into the stalled pile as well.

Luckily, the TMW Joseimuke Media Club pick for the month, レムレスブルーの午前２時, seemed to be wholesome, so alongside あかやあかしやあやかしの, and because I was heavily inspired by my friends in voice chat, I finally ventured into output territory and did a few hours of 朗読 with these two unvoiced VNs. I also had a brief opportunity to read in voice chat while a native Japanese speaker was watching and got 上手'd for the first time - a clue that I need to put a focus on output more.

The real star of the show this month for me though was the VN Club's quarterly pick, White Album 2. My expectations were high for this one, since its one of the admin's favorite games, and finally, finally, I was not disappointed.

The writing has been spectacular so far, and the music just adds to the mood and vibe so much that I couldn't stop reading the introductory chapter for three days within 6 hour sessions.

Gosh, so jazzy, its so good! My favorite kind of music. I love vibing to this while studying grammar - it makes it less painful to do.

I'm actually still very excited to continue reading White Album 2. It gives me so many butterflies when I think about it, so it will be my main read for February alongside the VNs I've dedicated for 朗読, and quite possibly yet another otome game from the club.

At least I learned something from this - my comfort zone is my comfort zone for a reason. It's fine to try out new things, but if it makes me frustrated or uncomfortable, its not going to be worth it regardless of how much it can improve my skill. *coughgrammarcough*

-☆-

Here's to hoping for better concentration and grammar progress in February! Still don't know how I'm going to go about studying it, but hopefully whatever it is includes better time management and just reading more than I currently have. Clearly, something I was doing was working, since I could comprehend well enough and in turn produce lengthy and detailed reviews, but output, output, is where it comes down to, and the thought of it getting stalled makes me worried. It's either the dedicated grammar study or the 朗読 that's going to push it further, and I'm going to try my best on dedicating time for both.

Thanks for reading, and I'll catch you all next time! (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡