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alluringjae · 4 years ago

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until dawn; pt. II - ljn

part I | part II

⤑ summary: basic number one rule of the museum is not to touch the art. but no one told jeno that falling for one of them isn’t allowed either.

⤑ pairing: jeno x female reader

⤑ word count: 12.2k

⤑ genre: ANGST, fluff, romance, smut (f receiving, dom!jeno waow, dirty talk, wrap it everyone) | broke architecture major!jeno, historical figure!reader, enemies to lovers!au, college!au, night at the museum-inspired!au

⤑ warnings: references to actual historical figures, explicit language, graphic details, major heartbreak caused by another party, expect time jumps too

⤑ author’s note: happy jeno day!! i’ve been so excited to post this part, and i’m happy we’re here!! perhaps, this is the last long fic i’ll write for a while so i can rest, but i’ll still be posting short stories within the weeks to come! i’m excited for may to say the least hehe

btw, for the smut scene (indicated with **), i highly recommend you listen to strange (feat. hillary smith) by kris bowers!! this song is from the bridgerton soundtrack, and oh man, the feels!!

with that, enjoy!

italicized text either means they are personal notes or flashbacks.

this was meant to be more angsty, but either way, i screamed every time i wrote something gut-wrenching.

⤑ taglist: @renjunniehome

⤑ ctto above!!

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

“You ready to get your butt beaten by me, Lee?”

“Prepare your final words when I win instead, (Y/L/N).”

Mischievous banter exchanged between you two became a new norm. Almost every night, someone within the art pieces established a contest over anything and it released the competitive sides of you two. So far, Jeno has been winning. Not like it hurt your pride, but maybe just once, you could conquer one game to feel better. Not only that, there’s a mini penalty for the loser. So far, you’ve cleaned up the lobby yourself and acted cutely to everyone the entire evening (or aegyo as Jeno called it).

Tonight, a game of archery was held by the Greek gods. They pushed away any extra pieces away, leaving the whole room vacant with two boards right beside Zeus’ throne. Numerous arrows were produced and sharpened, Zeus in the center announced to everyone participating.

“It’ll be 1 on 1 games. First to go are Jeno vs (Y/N), followed by Athena vs. Hermes, Cleopatra vs. Freddie, and last would be Hades vs Aphrodite.”

Cutting the chase, you didn’t expect Jeno to be that good at archery. Sure, he told you that he took classes with his friends for fun when he was younger, though it showed that he’s a fast learner and even hit one bullseye in the middle of the game.

Not slightly threatened until the last rounds, you fixed your aim and lessened your overthinking when preparing to shoot. Thus, you scored 2 bullseyes shot. It was a close fight, having the audience on the edge on their feet again because it’s the two of you. Your dynamic with the night guard always elevated the mood, shifting their bets over and over again.

By 1 point, you received your first victory against Jeno. Unlike you, he showcased his sportsmanship sweetly without any comments of disbelief. He’s never bragged about anything big in his life, not unless it’s a high grade for his plate. Normally, he celebrated wins in a laid-back manner. But don’t be fooled: he loves giving penalties.

“This is why I don’t make bets with my friends because I really go for their weak spots.”

“You’re cynical, Lee Jeno.”

“Only if you’re close to me, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Aren’t we already past that stage?”

Almost halfway through his job, he sustained a meaningful friendship with you. Out of everyone, you were his default person to hang out within the nights he had a shift. If he wasn’t present, he made sure to give you small treats or gifts as much as possible. An innocent friendship, it was that the world would’ve never believed in.

Or was it?

“To celebrate your win, what do you want me to do?”

“You’re too kind for me to play around with, even if you’re the complete opposite of me.”

“I’ll make it simple and worthwhile since I don’t know when I’ll win a game again.” As your finger tapped your temple as you pondered deeply, a smart idea came through. “Grant me 3 wishes.”

He chuckled, lowering himself to view you better. “Am I like some genie now to you?”

“No room to complain, I won, didn’t I?” You grinned, raising one brow to show your dominance.

“You’re petty in your own way, aren’t you?”

“Perhaps. Now come on, I want to use my first wish.” You shrugged it off like no big deal, loving the high feeling of triumph. You lead him to the center of the lobby, where a beautiful grand piano only selected people get to play during exhibits. “Open the museum piano.”

Ever since you were brought to life, you never used it. Tempting but because people from the outside might here, maybe it’s time to try something new. A new challenge, and besides, you missed entertaining people through it. The last time you touched the delicate piano keys was to your family before you ran away.

It’s a good thing that in the shackle of keys Jeno held, the needed key was there. Unlocking the lustrous black instrument, you sat by the matching black bench. Crackling your fingers, you tested by pressing a few keys to get the hang of it again.

“What are you planning to play, (Y/N)?” Jeno leaned against the side, his arms crossed.

Humming the first notes of your piece, the nostalgia ran through your veins. “Nocturne No. 2 in E flat by Chopin.”

Your fingers took off and played each chord slowly and calmly. This piece reminded you the most of your mother, who sat by the couch in front of your old piano with your father while guests from the party they hosted crowded around you. Being the youngest, they often requested you to perform as entertainment so you always put your best foot forward. Or so you tried.

Nevertheless, no one else in your family was capable to play this piece as perfectly as you. By the way your eyes closed and your body swayed to the mellow tune, Jeno observed how you memorized this piece by heart. A passionate flame you were, outshining every pianist out there.

He wasn’t surprised at how multi-talented you were, though there’s a different kind of aura you present when you played the instrument. From your hard and tough front, you could be soft and sweet to the right people.

In a way, you showed your comfort toward the boy by serenading him with the piano. Sketching him with him in the past was one thing, but this was another. You’d sketch with people you’ve grown used to, but you play piano to people you want to cherish in your life. As dangerous as it seems, Jeno was someone special to you, only wanting to have good moments with him.

Junmyeon will always have a huge part in your museum life, but Jeno filled the emptiness that he left behind. This loneliness for a human friend vanquished thanks to Jeno, and you didn’t want to jeopardize it at all. Sure, whenever he acted like a gentleman around you, let you inside the Foreign Art Room, or brought you food sometimes, you couldn’t help feel honored.

Though lately, every time he showed off his strength when he defeated Zeus and Hades during an arm wrestle game the god held again. You seriously had to catch a breath at every flex his arms made, like the goddesses. Maybe how he pushed his black hair back when he’s drawing another plate, you’d give yourself a few extra seconds to see his long fingers skim through them. He’d bit his lower lip when he’s in too deep with his creativity, wondering if he’d bite the lower lip of the girl he’d ki-

All right, (Y/N), relax. Maybe you’re thinking this way because it’s been decades since your last relationship. You wouldn’t want to fall for another possible trap and hurt yourself again, right?

Ever since this job, Jeno’s university life drastically changed. Yes, he still hung out with his friends and performed extremely well in his classes, though he prioritized anything related to the museum wherever he was. If they were drinking out, he’d buy an extra bottle of soju for you on his way back to the dorm. Rarely does he get shitfaced anyways.

If he and Renjun visited the bookstore to purchase pens or any art-related materials, he always bought either an extra sketchpad or set of pens. Even if you were simply a figure to everyone else, he appreciated the bond you both developed.

Every night, he’d tell you about his day from the start. Normally, it consisted of a lot of schoolwork and coffee, some stories about his roommates too. Speaking of them, he’d insert a lot of humorous words about his entire group of friends, whom you learned their names too.

Mark, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, and Donghyuck, each of them presented a different color in their group. Jeno, who’d admitted to being shy and quiet, grew out of his shell because of them. A friend of Jeno’s would automatically be a friend of yours, if only you were allowed to leave the museum or become a human.

Jeno learned more about your past explorations that never got documented because you no longer had an interest in jotting them down. They were adventures you’d kept to yourself, memories only close to you then would know. Except now, Jeno was another addition. You’re not the type to instantly open to people, though again, a sense of relief surrounded him every time you encounter each other. It grew gradually like a warm hug, softening your heart and breaking your walls.

The more he spent time with you, nothing feared Jeno the slightest. He’s always maintained himself intact, avoiding lines to be crossed and giving respect to those who deserve it. However, he began to question himself where exactly his feelings lie with you after Jaemin tried to set him up on a blind double date just so the best friend of his date wouldn’t feel left out.

He’s rarely one to get crushes on people, even when other girls in his college openly showed their affection towards him. Valentine’s Day or his birthday, several girls sent him chocolate or flowers. Jaemin and Renjun got sick of girls reaching out to them first so they could reach him. It’s not because he’s not the dating type, but because he’s so goal-oriented that unlike his roommates, he doesn’t have a slight clue about dating.

Though one-night stands while at a party and dating were completely different, he’d still say he had experience with girls. Plus having an older sister, he never took advantage of them. He’d rather tell them in person that the feelings weren’t mutual than ghosting them. He’s not like Jaemin anyways.

With that, he’s so lost when his heart beats twice as fast the second you’ve woken up from your posing slumber. He doesn’t comprehend how flustered he’d be when you highly insist to help him with his plate or how cute he finds it when you’re playing fetch with Mochi. On top of it, when you chose to sketch each other for one of your sketching sessions, he’d take a longer stare at your visage before he drew some strokes.

A lot of historical accounts mentioned how your beauty was the standard of the Victorian era, wherein you were the jewel of your neighborhood and numerous men wanted your hand. Women envied you, especially having high intelligence skills that were equivalent to a man. That time, that felt like a threat to most men. Though surprisingly, it turns out there were men who liked intelligent girls.

Jeno knew he liked you as a friend, though liking you past that he didn’t intend. Nor was it allowed because it’ll break one of the golden rules. Before he’d go beyond contemplating, he had to stop himself. This was so unlike him. The feelings will fleet away, he’d repeat to himself. Don’t waste a great friendship because of your silly emotions.

Individually, both of you swallowed these harboring feelings down your guts and simply kept your friendship status safe. Doing your typical activities or whatever else you could think of, none of you minded to change it whatsoever.

Unknown to you though, it was obvious to the other art pieces ones that you two practically passed off as young lovers. Although they know that pushing one towards the other went against the rules, Aphrodite begged to differ.

“Holding them back from expressing what they really feel just because of the law here is a tragedy. They should at least try, you know?”

On another typical night, Jeno invited you to the Theater Room for a movie marathon. After finding out that you’ve never seen any moving pictures, he wanted to be there to introduce it. Luck was on his side to not have plates or requirements due for the week and everyone was behaving themselves, so he started with rolling out short films from the 88mm projector. Having premade popcorn and drinks, the two of you shared roars of laughter and emotional tears.

Switching to the cd player for longer and clearer films, you’d opt to believe that you were born at the wrong time. With all these advancements, it came with a lot of new beliefs. One of them was allowing women to study and work. Then again, she was a pioneer according to historians. Without her, it wouldn’t help shape society as it is today.

Nonetheless, this movie Jeno played on the big screen was what he defined as “one of the classics”, 10 Things I Hate About You.

This outspoken character named Kat was presenting a poem to her class, trying to hold in her raw emotions towards Patrick, the boy who broke her heart. Too engaged, you didn’t notice how Jeno stretched his arms out so he could wrap one around your shoulder. Not that you were complaining, his warmth reassuring you safety.

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.” The way she attempted to keep her strong ground only reminded you of where you were weeks ago, especially once she excruciatingly broke down.

“I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” Only when you leaned back to the chair, you felt his arm. His thumb caressing your covered shoulder, you peeked him a little bit. His eyes fixated on the screen, absorbed in the acting and how Kat’s tears weren’t scripted as she stormed out of the classroom.

Not that you were her, but it sparked the past memory of how you merely disliked him because of his job. But as a person, not even close, not even once did you hate him. How blessed that he never judged you for it, staying patient all this time.

Right before he could look back at you, you moved your face back to resume your watching. Jeno definitely noticed what you did, though not sure as to why. Whatever it was, it wasn’t harmful.

Once the film ended, Jeno checked his watch for the time. 4 am, he wanted to do something else now instead of film viewing. You were on par with it, wanting to walk it out after being seated for hours. As you both cleaned up and bid the posters outside goodbye, the doors to the museum were locked unexpectedly. Impossible on Jeno’s half because he had the keys for every room, but he double-checked his bunch.

Alas, the keys for these doors specifically were missing. But there was no other way anyone could’ve gotten it, plus it’s not like the last person he talked to, which was Aphrodite, would need it.

Or did she?

Rather than putting any blame on each other, your only wish now was to return to your section before sunrise. You and he could just relax momentarily before yelling for help.

“Maybe we should watch another film first?”

“Alright, you choose while I return the rest.”

As Jeno inserted the cd of Cinema Paradiso inside, the background music of the opening played. He hummed the first notes, already feeling the love from this film. Another must-see classic as recommended by Renjun, he wanted to rewatch it with you.

Slowly returning each cd and film roll to their respective drawers, the melodious theme had you waltzing in the small space. Even beyond your life, classical music never gets old. Aging like fine wine, sounding spectacular as time passes because of people’s creativity.

Jeno gazed over your sudden movements, smiling uncontrollably at how immersed you were as you multi-tasked. However, you took a wrong turn by the desk and almost dropped a priceless film roll. But before you fully slipped and fell, a pair of strong arms caught you at the right time. Panting from the nerves, mostly when he was inches from your face. Never has he pressed his body this close to you to protect you, and never have you seen his captivating eyes this up close.

As enchanting as the background music of Ennio Morricone was, it only became noise once Jeno took ahold of the film roll on your hand and placing down on the desk. Taking another step closer, you were backed up by the edge. Not to mention how his height dignified his impact on you, your arms were still situated by your side with nowhere else to go.

That was until his finger elevated your chin so he could meet you on eye-to-eye level. His other hand gripping your waist, you became brave enough to place your hands by his broad shoulders. Licking your lips, you glanced at his lips quickly. But he noticed it, and as risky as this was, it was a leap of faith to take.

“May I kiss you?”

Always such a gentleman, even when he already knew how much you desired him through your returning affections. Calming your breath patterns by the speed of everything occurring, you came back to your senses. He’s the one who constantly told you not to forget your roots, so you were going to take this one.

You trust him, and he does too.

“Yes.”

Since the first film, some kind of tension increased the closer he moved or intimate his actions were towards you. You kept pushing it back in hopes not to ruin what you both have. But it only turned out to be mutual, especially how none of you held back as soon as his lips passionately clashed yours.

Tangling your arms around his neck, you stood on your tiptoes to press even closer to him. Feeling his lively heart pumping against your hollow chest, you bit his lower lip. Something you’ve secretly craved to do, he growled from the pleasure. He hoisted your waist to the desk, his impatient hands earnestly traveling all over your body. While your legs locked around his torso, your feisty nature leaned back so your entire body lied on the small desk.

Jeno was on top, placing one hand down to hold himself while the other squeezed your waist firmly. Even if you’re made of wax, you’re like an actual living woman at night. Everything about you becomes real until dawn. You emitted vulgar moans, giving him more access to your neck. Peppering a mix of soft to hard kisses, your hand teasingly snaked under his shirt. He really wasn’t joking when he bragged that he was quite ripped since he enjoyed sports and going to the gym, cupping a part of his toned abdomen.

“If you want something, all you have to do is ask.” He sluggishly sucked the area between your ear and neck, one of your weakest spots. “What’s on your mind, baby?”

The growing moistness in between your legs left a stain in your panties, trying to close your legs out of embarrassment. It’s been decades since you’ve been stimulated like this. However, Jeno beat you to it as he trailed the hand that was on your waist and lowering it right above your covered sex. He cupped it agonizingly slow, making you folding your leg from the pleasure. For a man who doesn’t date around, he knew exactly what he’s doing.

“I just kissed you, and you’re already this soaked. Can you handle me, baby?”

As the strong woman that you present yourself to be, it would selfishly take the right touch from the right man to weaken you. With his savage lips back on yours while your hands clutched on his shirt, he was simply waiting for a verbal answer, yet driving you completely mad. Everything was happening so fast, and here he was to please you in anywhere you seem fit.

You were deprived, and oh, you needed it more than ever.

However, seconds before you replied, there was loud rumbling from the main doors which stopped your devilish antics. As Jeno moved back from you to see the ruckus, you lifted yourself back up, pulling back your dress sleeves and flattening out the creases. The last thing you wanted was a trail of familiar red marks from the aggressive male, finding any reflective surfaces to check.

“I wouldn’t be that dumb to leave you hickies now, would I?” Jeno ended your worries as he placed his hands by your side again. His face leaned towards yours again, reliving the warmth in your cheeks. His lips were plumper, catching traces of your coral lipstick smudged there down to his jaw. He slotted himself again between your legs, grazing a hand on your waist and the other to your warm cheek. “The door’s unlocked now, and it’s 5 am. Do you want to clean up now?”

You playfully scoffed, aware that neither of you had plans to do that yet. Such a player while in the heat of the moment.

“Spare me 15 more minutes with you first.”

Hiding the romance you’ve both built failed without trying. Aphrodite spotted all the signs from your open physical affection and words of admiration, calling you two out in front of everyone without shame. She is the goddess of love, after all. You couldn’t fool her even if you tried.

Plus, she’s the one who locked the two of you up in the Theater Room that night. But neither of you know that.

“Sketch my ideal home?” Jeno bent down to the table, testing out his newly bought pens so they wouldn’t spill.

“Isn’t that why you decided to pursue Architecture in the first place? Come on now!” You pestered across him, opening your new sketchpad since your last one ran out of pages. As expected, Jeno bought you one when he went to the bookstore. As much as you insisted not to because he should use the money somewhere else, he did it anyway. He loved your works, encouraging you in any way he could.

When he was reminded of his humble beginnings of his passion for architecture by you, never had he envisioned exactly how his perfect home would be like. Settling down was so far beyond his mind, only focusing to graduate university then study for the licensure exams. However, he did miss drawing something for fun, not as a requirement. He also was the one who took charge of designing his dorm.

“Fine, only if you draw what your ideal home would’ve been if you never left London.”

Now as lovers, the only addition to your relationship were the public and private exchanges of affection. Deep conversations, film viewing, back and forth banter, you’re both still the same competitive duo everyone expected to be together. In public, the two of you held hands, hugged, kissed each other cheeks too when it felt right. Cleopatra’s face of fake nausea was priceless every time, while Princess Diana, Anne, and Katherine enjoyed it. It’s been years since they’ve seen this glow of adoration in you. Bit by bit, you’re going back to the old you. Except now, you’re a lot stronger.

Perhaps, this version of you proved wrong for the need for romance. Even if you made the choice not to settle down then, it would’ve been different if Jeno was in your universe then.

“Are you done there?” Jeno asked while you were finishing up your masterpiece. Life in London sounded fun when you were younger, having all these ideas on interior design and the like. An innocent time.

Instead of replying, you strode to his side and compared your pieces together. He pictured a two-story home, with a backyard and rooftop area. He definitely wanted to stay in the city as his whole life was based there. Although you preferred living in the countryside more for more freedom, you gave it a shot by pinpointing every detail of a wealthy typical Victorian-era home you liked. You desired a spacious lobby with a grand staircase in the middle, a crystal chandelier there too. The living room would have a small library and a grand piano, where wide doors leading to the grasslands were beside it.

Considering you two lived from different times, in a way your ideal homes were similar. Somewhere private, surrounded by nature and minimal furniture, you’re curious as to how it would look if the two of you fused them together. A mix of old and new, will it look pretty?

“What will look pretty?” Jeno questioned your random thought, looking back and forth at your sketches. “You know who’s pretty though?”

“If you say what I think you’re going to say, I’m lea-”

“You.”

Jeno has gotten flirtier since that night, always finding the right opportunity to flatter you. Although you denied them out of embarrassment, the butterflies in your stomach can’t lie to you.

You’re so smitten, and so was he.

Jeno’s always one to follow the rules, but so far, he’s been breaking some of them already.

Just last night, he gave Renjun access to the lively museum because he needed more research regarding you. Initially, he practically interviewed Jeno for every piece of information he gathered because he used to be so deep in the books to study everything about you. Now in the past, Renjun still couldn’t forget how Jeno drunkenly admitted how crazy he was going to be over you and your coldness whilst sobering up in the dorm.

He didn’t understand one bit by that, especially when you’re technically dead. But by the sight of the first piece Renjun saw alive, which was Zeus, he almost passed out. Piece by piece, he viewed these artworks come to life from his fresh eyes. Right before he could’ve screamed when Athena shot a lightbulb in their exhibit, you happily called out Jeno’s name.

Renjun froze on the spot upon seeing your wax figure come to life. He’s browsed through this museum numerously due to the new exhibits, but lately, he checked your section out to find any tiny details that were linked to your life. Aside from the sketchpad, compass, and hairpins, he wanted to know if there was more to your life as an explorer.

As human interactions except the night guard weren’t allowed, Renjun needed help for his project in Women Studies. Just like Jeno’s assignment, you aided him. Fruitfully answering every question he gave you, Athena popped out of nowhere to inspect Jeno.

“I see you’re breaking another rule.”

“I’m sorry, Athena. He was desperate, and it would be selfish of me to let him fail.”

“This is the last one I’ll let slide, alright?” Athena huffed, not impressed by the reckless behavior Jeno acquired over time. She saw this coming, but for a change, she couldn’t punish him. He was a young adult, still learning more about life. Only will she step in if things turn for the worst. “I can’t believe I’ve gained a soft spot for you.”

Jeno laughed, hugging the figure like his older sister. “You love me though!”

Glad to say, Renjun aced his project and kept his word of not telling anyone about the happenings in Jeno’s job. Jeno even made a makeshift non-disclosure contract so Renjun wouldn’t spill the slightest details.

Lately, so much has been happening in the museum that having alone time with each other was rare. And when you did, the two of you made sure to maximize it and make every intimate moment count. From each touch, each longing kiss, each moan, and groan, never were you left hanging whether you’re at the Theater Room, Jeno’s office, or the Foreign Art Room.

The only time the two of you went beyond the boundaries was at the indoor garden. Jeno managed to get the key to it, lighting up some candles before you invited you inside. Thanks to the magic of the Greek gods, the cameras were bewitched to display fake imageries when security checks in the morning after.

Upon your deep conversations, you’ve mentioned once or twice about the indoor garden. It was the latest addition of the museum, opening in the early 2000s. Because it was a sacred place, no art piece was ever allowed inside.

Yet again, Jeno challenged the rules again when he invited you inside. A few minutes before, he set up some lights along the hallway of the garden, where he placed a blanket, a picnic basket, and his laptop right at the end of it. The best place to view everything, he just knew you’d love it.

He was undoubtedly right once you gasped at such a pretty sight. Seeing the silhouettes of various flowers and plants together with the night sky with all the stars sparkling, it was like you’re attending another ball with your sisters, who were looking for suitors then.

Once Jeno leisurely led you until the end, he brought out all the delicacies from the basket. One of them was this Italian savory dish of dough with toppings such as cheese and pepperoni, or pizza as they named it. The next ones were fresh strawberries and melted chocolate, followed by grape juice.

“I’d drink actual alcohol with you again, only if I didn’t get shitfaced and do my job properly.”

“Point taken. Besides, this is close enough. So pour me a drink please.”

Perhaps this was the closest to a date Jeno could ever ask you out to. With the restrictions and being constrained with time, he brainstormed all sorts of ways to bring the outside world to you. From simply letting you wander around this fascinating room, he unleashed the inner romantic in him. None of his friends would’ve thought since they never asked him about it, so he kept it to himself only. Finally, he’s satisfied with what he prepared. After eating, the two of you would watch more films before the sun rose again.

You’re just the right person for him at the moment he can act that way.

After your quiet stroll and sitting back down, Jeno surprisingly handed you a tiny box.

“A gift?”

“Open it.” He sipped on his juice, paying attention to your actions. Gently untying the box, the amazement in your eyes couldn’t fathom such a lovely present. No words were required to verify that Jeno outdid himself again, just your facial expression alone is enough.

When Jeno said that he pays attention to the tiny details, he doesn’t bluff. Throughout your growing relationship, you’ve cited how you wanted another special flower in your life. Just because you couldn’t view lavender roses the same way ever again, it didn’t mean you wanted to kick them out of your life. Flowers were one of nature’s beautiful creations, so you’re wishing to find the love you once had for lavender roses in other ones.

Thus, you came across what you thought held the highest form of meaning: red roses. Despite its thorns, it’s still a marvelous flower. Innocently, you told him that just because of the memory of your father giving them to your mother on her birthday yearly.

Red roses represented true love and romance, a discreet message only those eager would know.

Jeno was one of them, which was why he reserved this gift for this very moment. It was a necklace he found through a college fair recently, a subtle red rose pendant in the center. Since he couldn’t give you huge gifts, he settled for something light. Something none of the guards or the director wouldn’t pinpoint out when they do their inspections.

“Do you like it?”

Not one utter from your mouth since you’re so hypnotized, your lips quirked up in a charming smile. “Is that even a question? This is astonishing, Jeno.”

After you attempted to put it around your neck, Jeno sighed and stepped in to help you out. “Turn around, (Y/N). Let me.”

The tension gradually heightened once you held your hair up so Jeno accessibly viewed your clean neck. Clasping the lock, it took all his might to hold himself back from you. Even from behind, your silhouette was attractive to him. The lights he set up weren’t helping the slightest of what he’s thinking to do with you.

“Done.” He breathily whispered in your ear.

If he thought he was the only one feeling something powerful, he’d be more than wrong. The lingering sensation of his slim fingers gracing your décolletage area unhinged another kind of want, the one you’ve only imagined in your mind when you were needy and alone. It shouldn’t be a sin unless you’re with the person you’ve fallen for, right?

Facing him again, the eye contact didn’t last long when you were the first one to strike a move. Jeno kissed back right away, his hands pulling you closer by your waist. Whatever sultry music Jeno played, it gave you the perfect momentum to grind on his lap. He groaned against kisses, adding his tongue. His thumbs sensually rubbed your hipbones, one of your hands toying around with his hair while the other one balled up his shirt by the chest. None of you cared if anyone caught you.

The last time you’ve been this aggressive was at the Theater Room, which eventually increased the hidden lust you’ve had towards each other. Taking things slowly at first, it’s about time to delve in for more. The mood was already set from the start, even if Jeno didn’t plan this to happen here. But being the prepared man he is, he did have a condom in his back pocket.

Your fingers trailed from his neck until his crotch. He was hard, sensing how suffocated he must be. But he kept himself in control. Locking eye contact, you sweetly spoke.

“Grant my second wish, Jeno.” That same hand of yours held one of his, planting it in your breast. “Make love to me.”

Giving the go-signal, he crashed his lips on yours while stripping you off your dress. Carefully, he turned you around to untie your tight corset. Once it fell, your neck leaned sideways as his lips attacked it madly. Your breaths were tremulous, placing both his hands on your freed breasts to knead with. His touch felt like fire on your skin, yet you couldn’t stop.

“Jeno,” Obscene moans from your lips choked out. You desired more, shifting back to face him again to attack his lips. Slowly feeling one of his hands laying you down, you spread your legs with ease just for him. He parted after your head landed on the cushion to unbutton himself. The way your mouth dropped to selfishly stare at his bare body, flexing them before getting back into position. He was fit and toned just as Cleopatra predicted.

As much as Jeno knew how wild your thoughts were getting, he was more taken aback by your perky chest.

“Fuck, you are divine.” He sucked one nipple as his fingers ventured to slip your panties down. So much was going on, you didn’t know which stimulated you more. You tried to close your legs around his hand, but he slapped your inner thigh to stop you.

The cool breeze shivered you, especially from your core. Jeno’s fingers adventurously grazed from your hip area to your lower lips. He teasingly rubbed it up and down in your essence, his index finger settling it right at your needy clit. Another moan escaped your lips, an opportunity for Jeno to slide his tongue in your mouth. Enjoying the moment, his fingers dipped inside you. A gasp broke your kiss, making him giggle in your ear.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Oh, angel. The things I want to do with you.”

Sliding them back and forth, curling it even, you squirmed for more. Dropping himself to meet your core, Jeno placed your legs on his shoulder. Pushing you closer, his steamy breath felt like friction. Your hips grinded against it, so he gripped on them so you stay put.

“Angel,” He chuckled darkly, his crotch tightening at how powerless you looked. “You’re so pretty.”

You were drenched from arousal. But to Jeno, you were glowing under the lights. He wanted to take his time to admire what he had done to you. His independent girl, only weak for him.

His fingers unfolded in your lower lips, diving in to your orbit. You could hardly speak from his skilled mouth, especially his tongue savagely lapping your clit in numerous paces. You’ve only daydreamed about what it could do aside from kissing, and it exceeded your expectations. By the heated sensation that had the heels of your feet digging his back deeply, you affirmed to have seen more stars than the night sky above you.

Your back arched uncontrollably while his hands grasped your hips to stay in place, the tears in your eyes formulating while tugging on his hair. Your thighs clenched around his face, but his broad shoulders widened it to taste more of you. No use of pulling away when his grip on you was tight, so you could only cry out from the pleasure.

“Fuck!”

The ringing sounds in your off were going off, your throat drying up from moaning once another orgasm was about to hit. Once the knot in you snapped, nothing could hold back your screams of pleasure whilst panting for air. Sensitive as he licked every remaining essence he caused, he smirked as he got up to unbuckle his jeans.

Oh, boy. He got quite a package behind his boxers.

Even while you were overly sensitive, you had to grasp it in your hands. He was yours, and you were his.

The way you clenched around his protected length, pausing to readjust yourself to the feeling. The foreplay deemed helpful, though the girth of him overwhelmed you. He stretched you out so good.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)?” The stunned face you made was expected, still feeling worried that it may be too much.

Biting your lip, you moaned once everything felt bearable. “You can move, Jeno.”

None of you could track exactly how many rounds you went through. Even in the semi-public area, it didn’t hinder either of you. There’s that thrill, and surprisingly enough, you both shared the liking of it. Always switching the positions, you decided to call it quits after another sloppy round in missionary. Something seeing Jeno on top, fully submitting yourself to him, made you feel calm to be vulnerable. It’s really the trust you’ve established from the start, making you rely on humans again once you’ve let the past be.

Jeno brought out another blanket, initially meant for cuddling. It was still applicable though, curling your body into a spoon towards his racing chest. Music was no longer noise, the intimacy creeping back instead of lust this time. The afterglow of Jeno, sweaty and knackered as his legs sprawled under the sheet, was a sight for sore eyes. He’s always been handsome while on duty, but post-sex gave him an extra boost.

Plus there’s pride from the red marks courtesy of you on his chest, grazing over it softly.

Jeno chuckled softly at your smooth fingers, lifting them up to kiss them tenderly before kissing your lips again. Only humans were capable of and to love, but you’re some kind of an exception. Regardless of the magic from the plate, you’d be able to love too if it weren’t for your background.

There’s so much love Jeno wanted to offer you, even if he hasn’t said it out loud yet.

Perhaps one reason was because time was beginning to tick. Finals were a few weeks away, then the one-month long semestral break until a new semester kicks off. Time really flew by, and his bank account and heart expanded too. Enjoying the now was all he could think of doing, but those uncertainties bothered him.

The biggest would be where you and he would stand when his job ended.

Jeno was too absorbed in his internal debate, as portrayed by his eyes staring off in space and running his hand in his hair repeatedly. Something was disturbing him, and you’re concerned as to what it was.

“Jeno,” Around his arm, you tapped his chest to get him out of it. “What’s going on in your head?”

Jeno approached every obstacle he faces straightforwardly, not wanting to let him hold back. Rarely did he keep secrets, especially from you. Instead of hiding away, he voiced it out.

“(Y/N), will we work out?”

“What do you mean, Jeno?”

You’re so occupied in the present that thinking of the future was never in your field. Like him, you’re just enjoying being in the moment. Though after tonight, it’s making you wonder if there’s a future.

“Well,” He placed his hand on top of yours, affectionately observing you. “Times flies faster when you’re having fun, and well, the semester is ending.”

His last words crushed a part of your heart, remembering his initial plan. None of you expected your friendship to bloom into what it is now, but life was just full of surprises without a schedule. At the same time, none of you wouldn’t have it any other way.

It may have been a few months since you two committed to each other, but the spark was still strong. It wasn’t like a summer romance kind of feeling. Time was not a determinant of love either, which you were certain of it with Jeno. A lot more than Junmyeon.

It should’ve frightened you when you realized your love for Jeno, but it didn’t. Even if you didn’t age physically, your mindset did. You’ve learned to forgive your younger self, and through Jeno, you let your guard down completely. From that, you let love in. Platonic to your fellow art pieces, and all of the above to Jeno.

Throughout your relationship, you regained all confidence in yourself and everything you set your mind to.

“I wouldn’t want to worry too much about it if I were you.” Your body flipped to lie on your stomach, resting your head on your palm.

“Why shouldn’t I, angel?”

Gazing back at him, you left a velvety kiss on his lips to rest his thoughts. His hand wrapped your neck, deepening it. But you pulled away with a giggle, all too knowing of his secret intentions as his cock began to harden again. His eyes narrowed down and his lower lip stuck out at your attempt of being a tease.

But enough about sex, you wanted to address a point.

Lee Jeno was going to be the biggest risk you wanted to take and fight for, and no one should try to stop you.

“I’ll ask Circe for a potion. For me, for you, for us.”

If it weren’t for insistent questioning towards every art piece, who kept their mouths shut, only Circe herself banished him from his suffering. Her series of potions varied, and the one you requested years ago which you threw out was capable of turning any art piece into a living human. No potion of Circe ever failed, so you entrusted your life for the day you do drink it.

“Are you sure, angel?”

Jeno knew about that one specifically, and as great to hear that you never threw it out, he never put pressure on you. He wanted you to do whatever felt right, even if deep down, he wished you’d use it. He was only worried about how the flow of the entire museum would be disrupted.

Typical Jeno always looking out for you, but you saw right through his concern. Here you were, caressing his check as reassurance. With an honest smile,

“I’ve never been more certain with anything in my life here until you came, Lee Jeno.”

Jeno opened up more to his life outside the museum, telling all sorts of experiences not just his days as a university student. From his childhood, his family, his travels, heck you even want to meet his friends at this point!

Newly, he shared with you how the sunrise and sunset looked like in Seoul with much vivacity. It’s a luxury as a human to witness as day breaks and ends, so you could imagine by yourself how it would look like. Sure, you had drawings and all, but that was from the real (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

This version of you wanted to live more; that’s your greed now.

“You’ve never touched snow too, right?” Jeno, who had his arm wrapped around you, silently watched the first batch of snow from inside.

“Yup, that’s the thing when you’re imprisoned in this place.” You sulked by his side, earning a chuckle from him who pulled you in closer.

“Don’t tell me now that you despise this place.”

“I don’t, but it hinders me to experience new things. The whole pattern of being awake at night by a plate gets tiring, Jeno.”

All Jeno would do when you’re frustrated was placing your head on his shoulder, listening as you talk.

“I know, angel. But it won’t be long until you leave this place with me, right?”

“You know it!” You interlocked your hands with him, eyes trained at every falling snowflake.

Sometimes, moments in silence with Jeno were all you needed for the night. Being within each other’s presence, focusing or admiring something from afar, it was all the peace you’ve needed from the bustling art pieces.

This week was the last of the semester, and Jeno’s off duty for tonight to focus on his exams. You’ll see him tomorrow night, which was his last shift ever, and also yours too.

Perhaps the biggest milestone you’re committing to without any regrets.

However, it took an unnecessary conversation you accidentally eavesdropped on to rock your decision.

You needed more ink after running out mid-way of sketching the sculptures as a secret parting gift. Before you could take a single step inside your exhibit room, a series of voices were full-on arguing. Booming back and forth, you peeped your ear out whilst hiding against the door.

“Athena, how dare you did to her?! She’s done so well from moving on from it, falling in love even! And now you’re telling me this?!” The distinct voice of Princess Diana, who spoke sweetly most of the time, boomed towards the Greek god. “You’re heartless.”

“I did what I had to do for the sake of this place, Diana!” Athena raised her voice, the lightning in her hands holding back from lashing out. She hated it when anyone argued with her, especially when she does things according to what she believed was necessary. Out of everyone, she had more leadership. “She had to know that her place is here as a wax figure, not outside. Talking Junmyeon out of it was for the best, plus it’s ideal when he drank the potion of memory loss from Circe.”

“But it tore her apart when he left her, and it’s going to tear her again if you do the same with Jeno.”

“How else are you going to approach the situation then, Diana? Those two have broken the highest golden rule, so they need to wake up.”

Right when she celebrated within herself for healing, hearing the unbearable revelation behind the past devastated you. This whole time, she internally blamed herself for being ageless and lashed out at others. The scary past barged back in, and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

Somewhere in the corner, you wept without a trace. You could care less about Athena’s opinions, but you found yourself agreeing to some of her words. You had a role to fulfill, and leaving that behind would be selfish and it could make the museum go topsy-turvy. As painful for Junmyeon to leave you, it was because the truth hurts. Nothing could change it, even if Circe could be your solution because it’ll leave a lot of questions. You didn’t want Jeno to be seen as a suspect.

Oh, Jeno.

There’s nothing wrong with falling in love either, you didn’t intend it to happen. But it becomes unfair when it compromises with your purpose, and that’s not how you are. You’ll always remember Jeno as your biggest risk, though it’s time to end things. Treacherous as it was to accept for you, risk-takers have boundaries too.

Fast forward, on the night of Jeno’s last shift, you’ve cherished every second with him. Playing around, chatting with other art pieces, kissing in private, you made it count. Before dawn broke, that’s where you chose to come clean by the garden, your sacred place. Not even your self-reassurance could prepare you to witness the hurt and confusion Jeno felt.

“You’re a mortal, and you still get to choose your path. Mine is already predetermined here as a wax copy of a historical figure.” You advised as you held both his hands, your voice shaking at the reality.

A few days ago, you were beaming with exhilaration at a new journey but now you’ve permanently backed out. Jeno couldn’t comprehend, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t. A life without you by his side would be empty and dull. “Even so, there are things about you that the original person didn’t have.”

Arguing with him wasn’t your favorite, and it’ll leave the two of you in a bad mood. But there is no way to negotiate this; you’ve already made up your mind. “We must end this, Jeno. You need someone who can grow old with you, and I can’t be that person for you.”

“But we can make it work!” His hands gripped on your slumped shoulders, whilst your face avoiding his to spare yourself from the heartache. “There’s still Circe.”

“I know, but recently, I found out that she’s an indirect cause of my misery.” Pulling away from his touch, you belted with frustration. “I cannot do this anymore, Jeno.”

You’ve always fought for whatever you wanted in life, and Jeno knew he was one of them if it weren’t for you telling him that. So he did the same, thinking of ways to make you feel whole. Now, he couldn’t tolerate the sudden crumbling of his heart from your outburst, and all he wanted to know was why you felt this way. How could he help you?

You don’t keep secrets from Jeno, but the truth behind your harsh actions cannot be revealed for the sake of the museum. Plus, you didn’t want him to despise this place he admired. Causing him pain wasn’t on your list, but keeping him safe was. It may be shown differently and he may not understand it now, but over time, he will.

“Jeno, you’ll find someone better out there. Someone with their whole life ahead of them, who’ll love you for everything that makes you who you are.” Repetitive punches in your guts urged you to barf at your half-lie, but you held it in.

“Why are you pushing me away? What happened to taking risks, (Y/N)?” Jeno interrogated, taking your hands in his hands again. They unconventionally quivered, like his lips. Jeno has never cried in front of anyone, not even when he was younger. Though for you, he just might. “Am I not worth it for you?”

Dear heavens, he was wrong. You internally screamed that, but you can’t let your selfishness seize the night. As Athena said, you had to wake up from your dream. “Committing to you was my biggest risk of them all, Jeno. Everything else that went along with it, I don’t regret it one bit. But time’s really up for us, and we must resume our normal duties.”

“I can’t lose you, (Y/N).”

“You never will, Jeno.”

He crouched lower to meet your height, his finger moving your head so you’d look at him back. Weakly enough, you did. “I want you to be a part of my normal life, angel.”

“I’ll always be here, you know. I’ll be standing in my usual spot upstairs, and you can drop by whenever you can.” You pressed your lips, lifting your head to avoid incoming tears. Meanwhile, he began shedding a few. You’ve hurt him big time, and you’ll never forgive yourself for this. “I still have one wish, right?”

Jeno’s sorrow was beyond his capacity, leaning his forehead against yours to kiss it. No matter what he could say or do, he already knew it won’t be effective. You’re affirmative in your choices, yet he still wanted to challenge it. All he wanted to know was why you’re doing this.

“Let me walk you one last time to your section.”

The black night sky had remnants of blue, motioning that dawn was approaching. Other figures gave their goodbyes to Jeno earlier, cleaning up their areas before they pose. Though none of them anticipated such a cold atmosphere between you two, they could only spy on what was bound to happen.

“My last wish is for you to let me go, Jeno.” You avowed, blinking your eyes with faux positivity. Your hands patted his blazer so it wouldn’t crease. “I already have a role to fulfill here, and you’re on the way to yours, future architect.”

“I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Only tonight did he muster his courage to finally admit it to you after giving himself more time to analyze it. Timing was always crucial, and the badness of it showed.

Deep in your heart, you resonated the feeling. But it’ll make things more complicated, and it was the final thing you’ve wanted to occur. Someone had to be the strong one, and now, it should be you. With one more compassionate kiss on his lips, you stepped inside your section and readied your position.

“Goodbye, Lee Jeno.”

The sunshine brightened the room, and you’ve frozen to slumber again.

All Jeno could do was drop on his knees, sobbing over your rash actions. Unknown to him, a single tear left your eye as you posed.

Regardless of what status you were in, the pain of it all remained.

Jeno spent most of his semestral break with his friends to travel or whatnot, trying to forget it all. Even if he aced all his finals, his efforts felt like nothing if he never had you by his side to celebrate.

The sting over his short-lived romance with you never diminished the slightest, no one whom he could express his pain about it to especially when Renjun drank the memory wipe potion that Athena initially left for Jeno by his desk.

Forget it all, and live a peaceful life. You have so much potential, my mentee.

- Athena

Perhaps this was the same thing Junmyeon drank all those years ago, but unlike him, he didn’t have the guts to. He still wanted another chance.

So every day since the new semester began, he spent every afternoon break at your section. He’ll be seated by the bench, doing his assignments and talking about his day while sometimes stealing a glance of your figure. Some habits don’t change.

He never got sick of the same smile you exemplified, falling even more for you. He’ll often wonder what you’ve been up to.

What are your new sketches?

Are you taking care of Mochi well?

Have you apologized to Sanghoon yet?

Speaking of him, he surprisingly scooted over to Jeno’s side. This was the first time Jeno met the man, and politely enough greeted him. Sanghoon interviewed the boy, asking all sorts of questions that Jeno had every answer to. The biggest change that Sanghoon noticed since he left was your personality. You no longer bite, but treat everyone kindly without bias. You’re always active to help him out in cleaning the lobby, and you don’t go easily defensive.

Once he found out that Jeno was the reason for that, he was overjoyed at the start and wanted to meet him some way. You were a tough cookie, but now you relaxed. That was all that mattered to him, hoping to know more about him from you. That was until Diana stepped in and told him everything that happened. Mostly, the bad.

Playfulness eventually bore love. The last time you fell in love was in the 80s and Junmyeon pushed you away, he recalled. This time, you’re pushing Jeno away because you simply agreed with Athena’s points.

This wasn’t right, but it wasn’t his place to interfere.

But then again, he finally caught Jeno for the first time today and this time, he was open to hearing his side of the story. Lessen his misery too.

“No matter how stubborn she is, she loves you.” He advised him, bringing out one of your full sketchbooks. As Jeno opened it, the majority of the portraits were him. Sleeping, smiling, laughing, you drew him from every minor detail you could spot like the mole near his eye and his crescent eyes.

A handsome face I would never get sick until the end of time. Someone I want to wake up to every day in the morning if it weren’t for that plate.

- (Y/N)

Towards the end, a sketch of a house unfolded. The interior was a fusion of modernity and old royal design due to its white walls, wide space, and the placing of less furniture, plus an open backyard. There’s another tiny comment on the side from you.

I was right. Joining our varying designs together is pretty. Maybe Jeno and I could live in a house like this one day.

- (Y/N)

If you loved him so much, why did you let him go then when you had all these plans with him? Even if he tried to understand, he just didn’t.

“Don’t give up just yet when she told you to.”

“Are you just saying this or something?”

“Well, Princess Diana passed this message on but after everything, I believe that she’s right.” Sanghoon gave his opinion, but Jeno was reluctant to accept it.

“I never got a proper explanation why she suddenly changed her mind, Sanghoon.” He ranted, raking his hand through his hair from puzzlement. “Did I do something wrong?”

Sanghoon pitied him, having the upper hand and questioning himself whether to reveal the truth. However, since this boy took the job, he’s succumbed to secrecy. Without any transparency, it could drive someone mad. He’s too young for that, so Sanghoon breathed in defeat and placed his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.

“Promise me you won’t be mad when I tell you because I was when I found out; almost screamed even.”

Jeno nodded, listening to whatever Sanghoon had to say.

Of all people, he never would’ve expected Athena to do such a brash thing. Someone he respected and trusted, only to betray him by doing something she believed was good for all. Except it wasn’t, and it ended up hurting you all these years. The woman he loved, now he’s a clearer understanding of why you did what you did. Yet, it can’t fix his excruciation.

Heartbroken was an understatement; he had no one to rely on. With Sanghoon, he finally had a proper breakdown. The older man could only comfort his quietly, picturing him like one of his sons going through a hard time in school. But if it involves the heart, it’ll take more time to recover.

“You’re always the one adjusting, Jeno. But I think this time, you’re the one who needs space.”

A Year and a Half Later

“Jeno Lee!!!” Jaemin roughly wallowed his best friend in a hug when he arrived in their dorm room for the first time in a long time. “You dyed your hair blonde again!”

Renjun, who was behind the two of them, only rolled his eyes as he helped carry Jeno’s bags. “God damn it, Jaemin! You’re supposed to be helping me first!”

“I know, but give me a few seconds! I’m just happy our group is back together!”

Jeno laughed at his friends’ annoying yet silly dynamics, giddy to be back home. For a year, Jeno spent his 3rd year of university in Rome, Italy after one of his professors brought up to him about a scholarship program there for his course. At the time where he needed a change of scenery, he sent his application form and got interviewed.

Acing it, he had the opportunity to fly across the world to study and travel. His English skills surely improved, even picking up Italian words along the way due to a required class for it. He studied the history of different locations and how they were built.

He also went on field trips almost every day if it weren’t for the Italian students assigned to tour him around, academic and non-academic. Nights he spent on drinking wine on the rooftop of his dorm with them, screaming his complaints in the world with them.

It didn’t hit him that his stay was reaching its end until he submitted his final plate. His goodbye party didn’t even feel like one, but a see you later in the next few years after he becomes a licensed architect with money. His goal of it felt more realistic, motivating him to excel in his remaining years in university.

After unpacking half of his things, he was reminded of an email from one of the head professors, who requested another copy of his confidential documents from the Italian university he went to as soon as he’s back on campus.

He raced to the department with a folder of them and luckily encountered the said professor. Handing it to him, this professor questioned how he was and what experiences he gained from the trip. With excitement, Jeno spoke all sorts of tales from his adventures, highlighting how determined he was now to be an architect.

“That’s great to hear, Jeno!” He celebrated, checking on his watch, and widened his eyes. Frantic at his colliding schedules, he asked Jeno for a favor. It turned out that at the same time as his emergency meeting, he’s supposed to tour the new transferee student around campus.

“Only if you have time, Jeno! I could always ask another student, plus you just came back and need rest.”

“It’s not like I left for a decade, sir. No worries, I’ll do it.”

“Oh, bless your soul.” He put his hands together in prayer position, bowing back and forth with gratitude. “Wait, she’s right outside! Go ahead and introduce yourself.”

Jeno nodded, exiting right through the department doors. This girl had her back turned, inspecting her surroundings. She wore a black and white tweed blazer that matched with her skirt, black high heeled boots, and a black handbag. She must be a foreigner, Jeno thought.

“Excuse me, are you the transferee in the department of Architecture?”

Jeno didn’t brace himself for the surprise he’d face once this girl reacted to him calling her out. Her face was one he could never forget, no matter how many times he told himself to. The same face he convinced his heart to stop beating for, yet it lied.

This radiant face was none other than yours.

Jeno almost dropped his phone. He tried his best to hold on to your promise, but he failed. It was the main reason he studied abroad; to forget and focus on his career path. So the least thing he could’ve done was to study hard for his dream career.

Just a glimpse of you projected back every single memory you’ve had together. Beautiful yet heart-wrenching, he kept his emotions to himself.

You even wore the rose necklace he got you. Could it be?

“It’s been a while, Lee Jeno.” You took the metaphorical scissors to cut the tension, trying to contain the crushing feelings. The faculty center was a public place, yet it’s like the two of you were on the main stage.

“Do you remember me?” Astounded, you nodded. Every single detail.

Jeno could’ve ran away, but didn’t. He could’ve left you hanging, but didn’t. He can no longer count how many times you’ve appeared in his dreams, only to be disappointed when morning comes to not have you in his arms. He took one step closer, taking his time.

“How do you know me?”

“You’re the boy whom I helped with his assignment, argued with me over Romeo and Juliet,” You mimicked his move, making you one step nearer to him. “And most of all, the boy I once gave my entire heart to.”

Another step, leaving a few inches between the two of you. His heart palpitated without caffeine. What if he was napping in his dorm again? It was all surreal. “Is it really you, (Y/N)?”

Hearing your name from his lips lowered your guard, you pleased him with a hopeful grin. “I’d be dust by now if I didn’t drink Circe’s potion, right?”

That’s where Jeno unchained himself from his emotions. He engulfed in a warm hug, one that has no plans to let go when his chin planted on your shoulder. You returned the gesture, dropping all your worries away along with your bag and papers as your arms snaked through his neck.

You knew you had to part ways for a while after everything, though you were unsure how he’d feel about it. You recalled every time he visited you after his job ended up until his intense chat with Sanghoon, where he bawled his heart out. You couldn’t take it anymore after trying to stay strong, crying as soon as you woke up that night.

All your fellow figures could do was soothe you down like before to the best of their abilities, yet this time, it was unsuccessful. You’re filled with misery, realizing later how much of a big mistake you’ve made.

You’ve isolated yourself again for a while, but less rudeness and more silence. It was until Circe visited you. She doesn’t like getting involved with drama, though now was different. She, alongside Hera and Aphrodite, couldn’t withstand you tolerating the heartbreak again. So they went behind Athena’s back on this one time and created a potion together just for you. But with a compromise.

“This potion can turn you into a human. However, there’s only a 10% chance you’ll regain all your memories from this place.”

“So I’ll forget everyone and him?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” You’re about to shoo her away, not in the mood to do something drastic as that. But Circe grabbed your arm again. “I strongly believe that if you and he meant to be, then there will come a time these past memories will suddenly surge at you.”

“Must I need to forget to live properly?”

You’re stubborn, and Circe expected it. “You’ve broken so many golden rules, (Y/N), so it must be done. I’ve gone against Athena for this potion, and rarely have I done that. So rather than wallowing up in misery, you should focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy because this place is trapping you from every great thing out there.”

Those were the word that the actual (Y/N) (Y/L/N) lived by, nevertheless, you’re unique from her. You built a separate identity from her. “But Jeno-”

“At the right time, (Y/N). Pull yourself together and do all the things you’ve dreamt of before he came into the picture. I just know he loves you that much, and that he will wait for you.”

That same night, you gathered all your senses and drank it. The transition was fast as lightning speed, and behold, you were like a new person. You’re back in London, with a family that closely resembled your former one; only 3 older siblings, making you the youngest. You also had a new set of memories, from childhood until your adult years.

From (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you became (Y/N) Edwards.

It took one drunken night out with your university friends for the unlikely surge of old memories to speedily hit through your intoxicated state. Way beyond a dream, you’ve dropped your shot glass and broke down in the bathroom of your dorm room. You left something unaccomplished, and you had to do something before it’s too late.

Thus, you rushed to Seoul thanks to your parents’ support as they agreed that exploring outside your home country was a great experience. The only excuse you gave to your friends for the sudden transfer was you finding a new calling.

Sure, studying abroad was an exciting thing but you’re more determined to reunite with him. Even if this encounter was unforeseen, it was bound to happen one day. It so turned out that you had the same major in your former university and this new one.

Head to toe, you remembered everything.

“I’m so sorry I took so long.” You cradled your head on his chest, unaware of how your new life left Jeno so troubled.

“That doesn’t matter anymore.” Jeno tightened his grip, scared of releasing you again. Those two years felt like a breath of fresh air and a punch in the gut. “I tried to live up to your last wish, but I really can’t.”

“I want to take that wish back, Jeno. I wasn’t thinking right and only ended putting you through so much.”

“Oh, angel. I slowly understood why you did it.” Before he got too fragile, he softened his grip on you and showed his face again to you. He wanted a better look at his pretty girl, his fingers brushing strands of your hair behind your ear. Heart-fluttering, you bit your bottom lip. “What would you want to wish for instead?”

“Instead of you letting me go, I wish you could take me back and love me again. I can’t undo the past, but I’d still like to think I’ve tried my best.” That was the only wish you could ever think of. As huge as it was, it was something he may not accept. Yet you gave it a go, risking it all. “I don’t deserve you at all, Jeno.”

“Don’t say that, (Y/N).” One of his hands grabbed yours, putting it on his cheek. Cupping it, “I’ve never stopped loving you, you know.”

Oh, love. An all-too familiar emotion that either makes or breaks you. Of all the times you could’ve said those words, you held back, especially that wretched night you two broke it off. Although you showed it, being able to say it to someone felt more empowering.

This was finally the chance you’ve unconsciously waited for.

“I’m stupid for not saying this sooner.”

“What is it?”

With intimate eye contact, you drowned in the comfort of his brown orbs. You trusted him then, and you trusted him now. “I love you, Lee Jeno.”

Secretly, Jeno anticipated for the day you’d say those meaningful 3 words. Just like you, he showed more affection through actions than words. He only admitted when he lost you, and never would he do the same mistake again. If he felt that the love was strongly present, he will say it aloud.

“I love you still, (Y/N).” His arm around your waist tugged you in further. “I loved you as (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I will continue to love you as (Y/N) Edwards.”

He peeked on your ID earlier, but regardless, he stood by his truth. You’re still the same (Y/N).

Finally, he closed the limited space between your lips. The memories of your past romance replayed in sync of every touching kiss, popping one leg up like in the movies. The Princess Diaries, specifically. Like in the museum from your unbearable parting, one warm tear freed itself down your cheek.

The sweetness of being reunited with you again beat the torturous wait of Jeno. Time really made your hearts grow fonder. As everyone said, if the love between two people is real, then it’ll find its way back to each other.

The world must be on your side too because no professor called you two out on your public display of affection. Jeno pecked your lips one time before stepping away, picking up the things you dropped.

“Now come on, I have to tour you around as instructed.”

You stomped on your feet, rolling your eyes from being left hanging. He’s still the same tease from before. “After that kiss though, I would’ve thought we could reschedule it.”

“No can do, Edwards.” Passing over your things, he wrapped one arm around you as he escorted you out of the building. The university was huge, with more buildings and green fields surrounded everywhere. “Left or right? There are a lot of places you missed out on all those years.”

“Point taken. Then you lead the way, my love.”

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bangtan-madi · 4 years ago

Text

noel on ice — kim namjoon

Pairing — Namjoon x Reader, feat. minor mention of Jungkook x OC

Genre — fluff, holiday, minor angst, mental health

Tags — strangers to lovers, figure skater!Namjoon, barista!MC, non-idol au, figure skater au, café au, holiday au

Word Count — 16k

Summary — After sustaining a crushing defeat at the World Figure Skating Championships, falling from his perfect gold standard to his long-time rival, Kim Namjoon returns to South Korea with an unsure heart and accompanying injury. At the same time, Y/N is as far from home as she has ever been due to a falling out with her family, working as a barista at a café in Seoul while trying to finish her degree. As if by fate, the two meet, and Namjoon makes it his goal to make Y/N see the magic of the holidays -- one Christmas adventure across Seoul at a time.

Warnings — minor language, brief anxiety attack, mentions of ptsd related symptoms

A/N — This year has been a very difficult one for us all. For my fic in this Christmas collab, I wanted to acknowledge all of that and give a little mental health break for everyone. All of our experiences have been different, but one thing we all have in common is that 2020 was unexpected, painful, and heavy. Please, no matter what holiday you celebrate, let yourself have as much rest and healing as you need. If this little, probably-needs-more-editing-than-I-had-time-for fic can help you get there — even just for the twenty minutes it takes to read — then my job is done ❤️ I love you all, and I know I speak for the others when I say I hope 2021 treats us all so much kinder, and I hope we learn to love ourselves in spite of our worlds around us.

Playlist — Link here.

Christmas Collaboration — this fic is a part of the Christmas Collab by @kooala (link coming soon!)

"Hey—Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Raising your head slightly, your eyes widening as you realize you've zoned out again, focusing on the snowfall outside instead of the next customer in line. The woman waving her hand in front of you is as foreign to South Korea as you are, but her expression is entirely that of an angry American. Her scowl has etched deep lines into her skin, where smile lines should be.

Unfortunately, her face is all too familiar. Usually it pays to be one of the only native English-speakers at your café; however, when Americans come in, you're the one pushes to take their orders and serve them.

Even the most difficult ones.

"S—Sorry, Ma'am," you mutter. Shaking your head, you force a customer-service smile. "I was just admiring the snowfall. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Oh, yeah," she retorts sarcastically. "So beautiful that it's making travel home nearly impossible. Can you please just make my drink so I can leave?"

"I—I didn't hear it, Ma'am. Can you repeat it please?"

While the woman rolls her eyes, she repeats her order swiftly, muttering something along the lines of, "Baristas these days, I swear to god," under her breath. "Make sure to get it right this time. Every time I come in and order a blended cappuccino, you guys end up giving me a latte, which is not what I ordered."

"And every time, we have to explain that all a latte is, is a blended cappuccin—"

"—I don't want to hear it!"

With a sigh, you ring up the total for the "blended cappuccino, not latte" and let the woman pay. From the sidelines, your co-worker Lisa stands with a glare and a tin of heated milk ready to go for your order.

"Ms. Blended cappuccino again?" she asks as you turn towards her with a note written in perfect Hangul.

You nod, running a hand over your hair in frustration. "I hate being the only native bi-lingual person here. Means I get to deal with her every damn time."

Sensing your downtrodden spirit, Lisa pushes you out of the way, giving you a gentle shove towards the back room. "I got this one. Go take a breather in the back, okay?"

"But—"

"—Ah! No buts. I know enough English to get by."

From the front desk, the woman pipes up again, demanding her drink be made faster. Lisa marches past your, arms herself with the imaginary drink, and says in perfect English, "You're in Seoul now. Speak Korean."

Knowing Lisa can handle the absolute hell-spawn that is an angry American Karen, you turn your back to the drama and shuffle to the break room behind the "employees only" door. An exasperated breath escapes as you revel in the silence, pushing away the muffled café sounds on the other side of the door. Being the only one in the break room, you spot your favorite white chocolate mocha on the side table, with a smiley face sticky note indicating it's from Lisa beside it.

You smile gently at the sweet gesture, and shove the sticky note into your pocket as a reminder to yourself to thank her later.

Taking the mug between your overworked hands, you settle down on the window seat and watch the December sky slowly shift from violet to navy. The mocha is just slightly sweet with a hint of peppermint, just like you like it. It's almost enough to illicit the Christmas spirit lying dormant inside you.

There's something incredibly painful about this particular holiday season, you think to yourself as the cars pass swiftly on the street outside. The glittering lights, the beautiful carols, the crystalline snow — none of it feels the same as last year. The holidays are supposed to be a time of comfort and renewal, but this year — after moving halfway around the world by yourself — your heart is starting to wonder if that part of you has died.

Maybe it's the loneliness you're feeling, or maybe it's the fact that you're so far away from home. Or maybe it's the fresh-in-your-mind arguments and falling out with your family over the summer. That bitter taste lingers still in the back of your throat, not unlike a dark espresso. A Christmas season without your parents and siblings; you never thought living your own life and following your happiness could hurt so much. For better or worse, that nostalgic feeling family and friends bring is long gone. And now you're nostalgic for nostalgia itself; what kind of messed up feeling is that?

You've had twenty-four wondrous, magical holiday seasons. Is it part of growing up that your allotment of joyful Christmas days is limited?

Is twenty-five the year that the magic just...stops?

When the night sky becomes unchanging, the door to the café kitchen opens. Lisa peeks her head inside, side-bangs falling in her face. "How's the mocha? Did I get it right?"

You take the last sip with a grateful smile, then place the mug onto the coffee table. "You nailed it. Thank you, I needed that."

Pride swells in Lisa's chest, and her shoulders straighten as she enters the room. "Well, good news. Karen's gone," she announces, "and your favorite customer is here!"

"Who?"

Lisa places her hand horizontally at her hip-level. "About this tall? Loves peppermint hot choco?

Bolting from your seat, all your concerns are momentarily gone. Your co-worker doesn't have to utter another word to get you to exit the back room and reenter the kitchen.

Across the counter, a mop of black hair is barely visible. Dark brown eyes peer over the granite surface; they twinkle and shine at the sight of you. Tiny hands splay on the surface in an attempt to make the small child taller. He's around seven to eight years, you estimate. Nine or ten at the very most. Definitely not out of primary school. And he's your very favorite customer, because unlike most, this child comes in with a toothy grin almost every single day with enough money for a peppermint hot chocolate. He's never late, and he's never unhappy. If the Sun were to bless the world with a ray of sunshine in human form, this kid would be it.

"Ahjumma!" the little boy shouts, a grin plastered on his face.

Instead of having him crane his neck, you walk around the counter, bend down on one knee, and ignore the other customers behind him. Pulling one of the tiny baked goods from your apron pocket, you offer the sweet to the child with a wink.

"You're here awfully late, Yeongu. You're usually here right after school lets out. It's already after dark."

Yeongu digs through his pocket and pulls out several crumpled won, enough for his beverage of choice. "Tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break, so dad picked me up and took me skating. I'm with mom and her boyfriend for the rest of the month 'cause Dad's going to Busan with his new wife. I don't like her that much. She frowns too much. And she smells like soju and taffy."

You exchange the won for the baked treat, laughing softly as you invite the boy onto the corner table nearest the hot chocolate machines. "You don't like taffy, do you?"

He makes a face and takes a big bite of the delicacy. "My teacher tells us that if we eat taffy, it will help us remember things. I ate too much of it last year, and now I hate it. Dad's new wife must always be forgetting things, because she always smells like it!"

After finishing the simple drink, you slide the mug across the table and plop down in the seat across from the small boy. "So does this mean I won't get to see you until after Christmas?"

Yeongu shakes his head. "I'll be by tomorrow after. Mom wanted to visit my cousin before we left. He's back in town for Christmas, and we haven't seen him in a long time."

"Oh? What does he do?"

"Sports."

At that, the boy changes the conversation. "What are you doing for Christmas, Ahjumma?"

"Yeah, Ahjumma," Lisa pipes up after serving the final to-go customer for the night. She flips the sign on the front door and turns back to the two of you, hand on her hip. "What are you doing for your first Christmas in Korea?"

Shrugging slightly, you turn your attention back to the small child across from you. "I'll probably spend the day with Mochi — my cat — probably studying so I'll be ahead in the new year for my next classes." Lisa gives an empathetic look at the mention of your kitten, which causes you to roll your eyes playfully. "Don't give me that look! I'll be fine. Probably best for me to have a relaxed, non-hectic couple of days. This year has been a rough one."

"That sounds sad," Yeongu states bluntly, earning a snicker from Lisa.

"Kid's right. Absolutely dreadful, [Y/n]. What a lame Christmas."

"What about you, then? Do you have any plans for Christmas?"

At the question, Lisa's smirk drops and she perks up. "Well, I'm sure you know, but Christmas in Korea is pretty different from America," Lisa reminds you, and you nod your acknowledgement. "It's more of a couple holiday, so my boyfriend Jungkook and I are planning to take the week off and do a ton of holiday activities together. Mostly outdoors stuff. Y'know, snowboarding, skiing, snowball fights — the usual."

"Sounds like a blast," you laugh.

"Oh, it will be." She gives a wink, then nods to Yeongu. "Are we about done here? I need to head out if you're okay with locking up for the night."

You give a wave of approval as the child nears the end of his glass. "I got this. Say hello to Jungkookie for me."

Lisa flashes a set of extravagant finger hearts before disappearing into the back, where she gathers her personal items and exits out the rear entrance. In her absence, Yeongu tugs on your sleeve and holds up an empty mug.

"Thank you for the hot choco, Ahjumma," he grins, showing the dark stain on his upper lip.

Taking the mug, you use the edge of your apron to clean the mess from his face. "If you come by tomorrow before you leave with your Eomma, I'll make you another with extra peppermint, okay?"

The boy's smile grows, and he hops up from the table with a swift bow. "I'll be here!" He heads for the door with a skip in his step.

"Will you get home all right?" you call after him.

Yeongu turns and grins. "I will, don't worry, Ahjumma!"

And then he's gone, out the door in a rush of energy and giggles towards his home nearby. You merely shake your head; there's no point in going after him now.

Soon after, you're following in his step. It doesn't take you long to clean up. By the time you lock up and exit out the back, snow has begun to fall. You brave the cold, tugging your coat tighter around you, burying your face into your scarf. The journey to the subway is short, and your feet take you quickly. Even still, you stare upward at the snowy clouds in hope that they might spark a semblance of Christmas joy in your heart.

Tonight, like every other night, nothing changes.

You heave a sigh, and the breath billows out as a visible fog as you enter the station. Going through the motions to get to your apartment is easy. A swipe of a card, a short ride to the edge of the neighborhood, and a trek up the set of stairs. Once through the door, you're greeted by a mewing shadow of a cat.

"Hi, my baby girl," you greet with a soft smile, bending down to scratch the tiny fur ball behind the ears. The black cat rubs her chin against your palm and follows you when you waltz to the kitchen. "You hungry?"

As if responding, "Yes!" Mochi speeds up and meows a bit louder than last time.

Her antics bring a smile to your face as you turn on the television for background noise. You find the nearest Korean news station, finding the program in the middle of a report on Korea's favorite rap duo and their upcoming tour: Suga and J-Hope. Your intention with the selection is two-fold — first, to continue to enhance your skills of the Korean language, and two, to continue learning about the culture and world of your new home. While you had extensive knowledge of both before moving to Seoul — despite the process being rather quick due to the fallout with your family — nothing compares to being immersed in the country itself.

As the musical entertainment section ends, you begin pulling ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard. "What do you think sounds good, Mochi? How about teokbokki?" The black cat perches her paws on your right leg, purring pleasantly. "I agree, sounds great after a long day."

You toss a bag of rice cakes onto the counter as the news changes to sports. Even as you prepare the sauce for the meal, you actively listen to the voices in the background.

"Unfortunately, RM Nam's ice skating season has been cut short due to an unforeseen injury he sustained during practice this summer. At the time, the damage to his shoulder seemed unnoticed by the athlete and his coach. However, as we saw earlier this October at the Grant Prix Series: Skate America, Mr. Nam's mishap on the ice turned out to be far more damaging than originally thought. Thus, the position representing South Korea at the next in the series, Skate Canada, was shifted to his rival, Kim Seokjin, and RM Nam returned home to Seoul to recover."

You can't but help a glance up at the screen. The skater in question has his back turned to the cameras as he heads into the airport. Behind his sunglasses, mask, and beanie, he offers a polite smile and wave to the reporters. Moments later, his coach guides him into the building, out of sight.

"That doesn't sound fun," you mutter to yourself as the report moves onto politics.

After you finish cooking, you plate yourself a portion and move into the living room. Besides the tiny tan sofa and the television propped up on a box, most of the room is bare. There are a handful of boxes strewn across the apartment of the few things you either had shipped from the States or that you bought in your six months since then, but for the most part, you've been putting off all of it. Most of your time is spent at work or at school; you haven't had the time, energy, or motivation to do any of it. Even at Christmas, despite Lisa gifting you with your very own tiny tree and twinkle lights to spread across the home, you've yet to unpack any of it. The tree remains in the slender box beside the TV, and you doubt it will go up this year at all.

Heaving a sigh at the thought, you turn the channel to VIKI put on your favorite drama. This particular one is a reincarnation plot with two male leads played by Korea's golden boys: Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung. Paired with the bowl of teokkboki in your lap and the kitten curled to your side, it's enough to drag you thoughts out of homesickness and back to the present.

This might just have to be the Christmas you forget and hope that the next year is a kinder one.

A lot changed in your life this year. In some ways, the changes were good. In others, not so much. Most of the turbulent times were in the heat of the summer, but things began slowing down once you moved to South Korea in September. You were now away from toxic family members, away from a life you never wanted, and looking ahead to an uncertain but certainly hopeful future.

In late October, the seasons began changing for the better — and not just in the physical sense of the falling leaves and cooler breeze. Lisa was right about your favorite customer; it truly was little Yeongu. However, there was another that you looked forward to seeing, just as much as the elementary school boy.

This person was older, around your age, with a deeply dimpled smile that made your stomach flutter. Eyes as slender as his body proportions, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't an attractive man. Hair the color of the snowflakes he walked through, eyes the color of the beverage he'd always order, skin the color of warmth in a cozy fireplace. Even his voice was warm and deep; at every conversation, while you are completely fluent in Korean, you find yourself just wanting to listen to the soft timbre.

Over time, this man — whose name you'd quickly learn was Kim Namjoon — became a regular at your little coffee shop. He'd come in at the oddest hours, either super early or super late. Hours you often worked alone, when there were fewer customers. Every time, he'd strike up a conversation as you took his order and crafted his beverage of choice (a heavy coffee brewed dark and bitter, with just a splash of cream and almond whip.) He was sweet, and eventually you opened up. He'd hang around the counter long after the transaction was completed, sometimes until another customer stole your attention away. It didn't take long for you to realize that he was far more than merely a pretty face.

In those weeks leading up to December, you found yourself smiling a bit more. Joking a bit more. Shoulders lightening a bit more. You looked forward to the increasingly insistent days where he'd waltz in — sometimes covered in raindrops, sometimes in crisp leaves, sometimes in snowflakes — always a crystal blue umbrella under his arm and a charcoal grey scarf around his neck.

It's the same person standing at the entrance now, the man currently shaking the rain from his umbrella and platinum locks. Lisa gives you a smirk as she nods her head towards the register and steps away from the counter, as if silently saying, "You're up, m'lady. Holler if you need me; I'll be doing an order in the back."

You brush your hair back into proper place, display a genuine smile, and take your stance behind the register. When Namjoon's eyes meet yours, his smile deepens and creates dimples on either side of his mouth.

After the customer in front of him pays and leaves with his order in hand, you greet him with a simple, "You haven't been in, in over a week. Finally trying to break your caffeine addiction?"

Namjoon gives a deep laugh and shakes his head. "Not in the slightest. I like being able to function as an adult in society, thank you very much." He pulls out several won from his wallet. "I'll have..."

"The usual?"

He cocks an eyebrow. "You remember?"

"Of course," you grin, and type his drink of choice into the register. Taking his money, you add, "How could I forget your order after the hilarious reaction when I suggested a mint mocha?"

The boy thinks back to the first day he walked into the café, and recalls that conversation with a groan. "Oh god, was I that bad?"

Handing him his change, you tap your chin and reply, "Well, maybe a bit. I'd never seen someone so horrified at the idea of mint chocolate."

Namjoon rubs the back of his neck with an awkward smile. "Sorry about that. Pretty terrible at hiding my disdain for that flavor combo."

"No worries! Made me laugh."

Seeing that there are no other customers behind him, you turn to the brewing station and usher Namjoon to take a seat on the bar stool across the counter. It's a position you've taken several times before. When the customers are low, as they are at this hour of evening, the platinum-haired man tends to linger and converse far after his drink is finished.

"What brings you in today? Just wanted a pick-me-up or?"

Namjoon heaves a sigh. He watches you closely but casually, silently admiring the skillful way you begin to brew the dark beverage. "I've had a lot on my mind lately, and coming here always helps me de-stress."

"Coffee helps you relax?" You can't help but chuckle at the sentiment.

"And the company."

Heat rushes to your face, and when you glance up to meet his gaze, the warmth only increases. "You're smooth, Kim Namjoon. Very smooth."

Brown eyes widen, and he bows his head so that his bangs cover his eyes. "That's not what I meant at all!"

"Calm down, you're fine. Wanna talk about what's on your mind, though?"

In all your conversations, the two of you have only ever talked on the shallow surface of various topics. You don't know much about Namjoon, and he doesn't know much about you — despite having shared extremely vague information about your year, your jobs, and your education. You feel very open with him, but most of the time, those conversations can't be had in a fifteen minute discussion at a café.

"It's a long, complicated story. I'm not sure you'd wanna hear it." He raises his hands defensively as he realizes how his words might be construed. "Not that you wouldn't understand! I just wouldn't want to be a downer."

You select the cold brew setting on the machine and let the device begin to whir to life. "Well, I've got at least the time it takes to make your drink. I'm all ears."

Namjoon shakes his head as he settles his elbows on the counter. "You're persistent."

"Honey, I've been called far worse."

Seeing your eagerness, your companion heaves a sigh and shifts his gaze from you to the window at his right. As be begins to speak, his demeanor falls a bit. He's not as happy-go-lucky; there's an err of anxiety about him that you can't quite nail down. "I've been thinking about a change in career recently. Things haven't been unfolding this year like I wanted...and I'm starting to think I'm not meant to do what I'm doing now. Maybe I need to retire — from this industry, I mean, and move on to another."

Even with that small confession, you can't help but mirror his emotions. "I hear you. I've felt similar feelings this year."

His gaze shifts back to yours, and he tilts his head in surprise. "Really? How so?"

"I told you I moved to Seoul in September, right?" Namjoon nods. "That's because I wanted a...a fresh start. I enrolled in Yonsei University, got a job here, and just...moved."

"That's pretty brave, and that's really awesome you're at Yonsei. They're a fantastic school."

"Thanks," you grin whilst popping the canister of cold brew out from under the brewing machine. "I needed to get away from certain people in my life that weren't letting me move forward, so moving was the best choice." You pour the dark beverage into a small mixer and pull out the vanilla creamer. "Sure you don't want mint this time? Last chance."

Namjoon cocks an eyebrow as a silent challenge; the expression makes you giggle to yourself as you pour the very non-mint add-ins. "Hilarious."

"Hey! Just offering." After giving the mixture a whisk, your smile falters.

Nothing gets by the observant person across the counter. "I feel like your story has a 'but' after what you ended with."

"You're good," you reply, gesturing to him with the handheld whisk. "I'm not talking too much, am I?"

Namjoon shakes his head adamantly and flourishes with his hand for you to continue. "I mean, we're practically friends now. Please, go on."

Reassured by both his calming nature and genuine interest, you continue talking. "But after getting here...let's just say it's hard to make friends and get out there in a country where you look so different, where your language isn't native, and where you know literally no one. So...ah, this year's been a pretty lonely one, and I know I still made the right choice, but now that the holidays are here..." You trail off and offer a small smile. "All that to say, I know what it's like to second-guess yourself and not have things go the way you thought."

"Seems we have a lot in common," he chuckles, leaning his chin on his hand.

The comment causes the mood to lighten, and you let a laugh slip out. "Yeah, seems so."

Before the conversation can continue, the front door opens. Yeongu enters, a couple of other customers behind him. As if on cue, Lisa enters from the back room and greets the adults with a smile and a swift, "Hi, welcome! What can I get you this evening?"

As the child approaches the adjacent counter where you stand, his grin widens. You perch your elbows on the counter and lean over. "How's my favorite customer?"

"I'm finally free from school, Ahjumma!" Yeongu cheers loudly.

"Congrats! I'm sure you're relieved." He nods affirmatively. "t's freezing outside. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, I promise. But can I get a mint hot choco?" He holds up a crumpled bill with a toothy grin.

"Of course, you can. Extra mint, just like I promised." You nod towards the seat closest to the window. "Sit in your usual spot, okay? After I get this nice man his coffee, I'll get your hot chocolate."

As Namjoon turns to look at the child, Yeongu's eyes widen in surprise. "Namjoon-hyung! I didn't know you were here."

Much to your shock, Namjoon reciprocates the affection and hops down from his chair to bend down to Yeongu's level. "Yeon-ie!" He teases the boy by ruffling up his hair, which Yeongu scowls at him for.

"Um... You two know each other?"

"Yep!" Yeongu grins. "He's my cousin, the one I told you about yesterday."

"Oooh, that makes sense. Didn't realize my two favorite customers were related."

Yeongu laughs at the comment and hops into the chair beside Namjoon. "But I'm your favorite customer, right?"

"Of course," you tease, flashing him a playful wink.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Ahjumma, can I please have mine in a to-go cup? Mom told me to come right home so we can finish packing for our trip."

"Of course, give me just a second to get you a lid." You turn to your first customer with an apologetic smile. "Namjoon, I'm almost done with yours. Just give me a moment."

"Actually, do you mind putting mine in a to-go cup as well?" He jerks his thumb towards Yeongu. "I should probably walk him home. He lives just around the corner from me. I'd feel better if I did."

"Oh, sure, I can do that."

"Would you walk with us, Ahjumma? Pleeeease?"

Your gaze moves to Namjoon. "Do you mind?"

The elder cousin hops up from his chair, shaking his head adamantly. "Not at all! Can you?"

"Sure, I'm about at the end of my shift anyway! Let me grab my coat. I'll come with." You turn quickly to Lisa, murmuring, "Can you watch—?"

She cuts you off with a wave of her hand. "—Go! I can close up for the night. But if you don't come back with a date planned, the invitation to spend New Years with Jungkookie and me is rescinded."

With a playful eye-roll, you peck her on the cheek and run to the back for your coat. Once you return, you find Namjoon scuffling Yeongu's dark locks with a dimpled smile. Looking back up as you return, the expression doesn't falter.

"Ready?"

You nod and follow behind through the exit, trying to ignore the wink and dual thumbs-ups Lisa flashes you as you pass.

Once on the street, Yeongu walks ahead of you and Namjoon. The first few minutes are silent between you two. From ahead, you can hear the small child talking to himself, or perhaps his hot chocolate, and then occasionally to the adults.

As you cross the busy street, Namjoon clears his throat. "So...you have any plans for Christmas?"

You scoff under your breath and shake your head. "Why does this topic keep coming up?"

"Hope I didn't offend," he laughs. "Yeongu said something about a café girl not having plans last night. I figured it was you."

"Trust me, you're good. But yeaaah. Kinda new to Korea. I spent the fall settling in and trying to start over. Between work and school, didn't expect much. Holidays sneaked up on me, I guess."

There's a pause as the trio rounds the corner. Yeongu finishes his hot cocoa along the way and hands the empty cup to Namjoon. The elder doesn't even hesitate to take it, and the boy rushes ahead to what you assume is his home. Over his shoulder, he shouts, "Thank you for the choco, Ahjumma!"

You grin widely and wave. "You're welcome!"

Yeongu turns to Namjoon, sticks out his tongue in a playful manner, then disappears into his house.

"Aaand that's the thanks I get." Namjoon rolls his eyes and turns his body towards you, giving you his full attention as the sun sets behind Seoul Tower. "I have a crazy idea."

"Oh, really?" You cross your arms over your chest and cock an eyebrow. "Those are my favorite kind of ideas."

"Cheesy," he grins. "Well...I don't have any plans either. Maybe we spend it together?"

"No plans, huh? Do I look that pitiful?"

"No! No, it's not that at all, god." Namjoon's smirk falls from his face as a horrified expression drowns out any humor. "Sorry if that's how it came off. I just—You seem really nice, and it's been a while since either of us just enjoyed someone else's company. No strings. No pressure."

Tugging your lower lip between your teeth, you shuffle in your step. "I don't know, Namjoon..."

"Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I hate to see anyone's shoulders so heavy in December. How about this — give me three days to prove the magic isn't lost."

"Three days? That's it?"

"That's it."

"Okay then, Mr. Kim." You offer a hand in his direction. "Three days."

Namjoon's eyes lock with yours, as does his hand. "It's a deal."

The following weekend you wake to a phone call coming in from your recently-added number. Rolling out from under the covers to grab the device from the nightstand, you answer with voice still groggy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Are you still sleeping?" the caller laughs in a deep timbre.

"Shuddup." Peaking an eye open, the time on the screen reads just after eleven a.m. "It's not that late."

"Really?"

"Did you call me just to make fun of my lack of healthy sleep schedule, or did you have a point?"

"Ouch!” Namjoon exclaims playfully. “I actually did call, and it's actually perfect because I don't need you ready to go until around three this afternoon. So you can totally just go back to sleep."

You curl back under your heated blanket and revel in the warmth it provides. Beside you, Mochi curls closer, nearly sitting on your head. "Mmm sounds perfect. Wait—what?"

"You heard me." There's a hint of teasing in Namjoon's words. "It's Day 1. Be ready for an outdoor adventure by three. I'll pick you up then, okay sleepyhead?"

The butterflies rumble in your stomach at the nickname, and you clear your throat before replying. "Yep, got it. Three p.m. Outdoor adventure. Can't you tell me what it is or where we're going?"

"And ruin the surprise? No way. Just trust me, Jagi."

A squeak slips out, and you throw your hand over your mouth to hide it. "Okay, see you there—I mean then!"

You can almost hear Namjoon shaking his head as he says his goodbyes and ends the call. Despite still being sleepy and warm and cozy in your nest, you lie wide awake in bed for the next half-hour, replaying his voice over and over in your head like a well-loved record.

The day flies by, and eventually it's approaching three. You've dressed to impress while still trying to keep it casual. Despite this being a date, it's still casual. You like Namjoon a lot, and you hope he likes you as well. However, outside of conversations at the café, you haven't spent a lot of time together yet. This is as good a second-first impression as any, and you intend to make the most of it.

Grabbing your winter coat and scarf, you scurry down the stairs and spot Namjoon lingering by the entrance with two cups in his hands. He's dressed in jeans and a sweater with a dark grey jacket over top, his usual scarf looped twice around his neck. A beanie covers his head, but bits of his platinum hair still stick out in places. Slung across his shoulder is a brown leather backpack. He always looks nice, that much you know, but the fact that today he looks nice for you makes you sickly happy.

He flashes a smile as you bound out the door. "You look rested," he teases, then offers you one of the cups.

Taking it with a nose scrunch, you look down at the order on the side, seeing that it's your usual order. "How did you know!"

He shrugs. "I have my ways."

"Was it Lisa?"

"Maybe..." He straightens up and nods his chin towards the nearby station. "Follow me for our first adventure!"

After boarding the train to Itaewon, you can't help but wonder where he might be taking you. Your mind goes through all of the things to do in Itaewon, but the list is lengthy. From his excited and proud expression, you know Namjoon has been looking forward to this all day, just as you have.

After exiting fifteen minutes down the line, Namjoon reaches for your free hand. "May I...?"

Your fingers close the distance, glove-covered palm clasping his. "Lead the way."

Namjoon grins, then tugs on your hand as you exit the station. Once outside in the frigid air, you see your breath come out in puffs of fog. You tighten your scarf around your neck and allow your companion to usher you down the sidewalk, towards a clearing in the colorful buildings of Itaewon-do.

Another block or so, and you see the direction in which he's heading. A large sign along the way reads, "Grant Hyatt Seoul Ice Rink" in bold Hangul. Your eyes widen as the realization hits you, and the excitement inside you grows. "How did you know I've wanted to go ice skating!"

Namjoon shuffles up to the ticket counter, replying over his shoulder, "Um...lucky guess?"

As he purchases your tickets, you take a moment to absorb your surroundings. The trees are glowing from the lights covering every branch and trunk. They surround the rink and give a glow from within that is so much softer and more intimate than the harsh lighting of the city. The Hyatt Hotel stands as a black silhouette against the horizon. In the opposite direction, you can see N. Seoul Tower already lit up as the afternoon lighting shifts to evening. Projectors shine shapes of glittering snowflakes across the ice, giving another layer of ambient lighting to the rink.

"I haven't been since I was a kid," you add, staring at the exterior of the open-air rink with awe. Namjoon hands you the ticket, which you use for entrance and skates before shoving it into your jacket pocket. "Have you ever been before?"

"Yeah, a...few times. Hey, what size shoe are you?" When you tell him, Namjoon grabs a pair of skates from the shelf beside the ticket booth and gestures for you to sit on the bench across from it. "It can be tricky to lace your skates properly," he commentates as he kneels down in front of you and begins to untie your boots. "It's really something you have to adjust yourself, so let me know when I'm close?"

Not having any words to respond at his sudden closeness, you nod the affirmative and watch in silence as he puts one boot to the side, slips the skate on with ease, and begins to adjust the laces like a professional. After repeating the movements with your other skate, he taps your knee and looks up at you.

"Too loose? You want them to be as tight as you can handle to keep your ankles steady."

Moving your feet, you shake your head from side to side. "A bit more. I'd hate to have Day 1 turn into a trip to the E.R."

"Definitely, nothing says ‘Christmas magic’ like an emergency room visit," he laughs, adjusting your laces as you requested. "How's that?"

"Much better, thank you."

After lacing up your skates as tight as you can handle, Namjoon stands and offers you an arm. He helps you waddle over to the entrance, gently sliding you onto the ice despite your shaky knees and flailing arms. You soon realize that it might be best to hold tight to the barrier and stick only to the periphery.

He doesn't follow you on at first. When you turn and look back for him, he waves you on. "You go ahead. I need to grab my skates first."

"Mmm fine, but if I break my neck trying to catch your ass, you're paying for ramen after. Got it?"

Namjoon gives you two thumbs ups as he lets you go onto the ice. "Loud and clear."

Eventually, you begin tugging yourself along, trying but failing to keep up with the traffic of more experienced skaters. Even compared to those half your age, or even less, you're the child on this rink.

About half-way around the rink, you spot Namjoon making his way towards the entrance. Waving your hand, your smile widens when he sees you. He waves back, nearly bumps into the person ahead of him at the gate, and you murmur to yourself, "This should be good."

Namjoon hits the ice. He's not like the barreling disaster you are, but like a graceful swan. It catches you off-guard; if anything, you expected him to fall flat on his face or tumble over a child on his way over to you on the opposite side. He needs no assistance from the railing, nor does he struggle to cross the center and come to a full stop in front of you. His skates make a graceful scraping sound, and his stance is one of a professional. Even his skates are different than yours; they're custom, and you realize that must've been what he was carrying in his backpack.

You assume the awestruck look on your face is the reason for his smirk and laughter. He does a spin for dramatic affect as he closes the distance between you. "Surprised?"

"For starters! How the hell are you so graceful? You're literally twirling around on one foot on a frictionless surface, and I can barely make a left turn!"

The platinum blond gives you a look like you're still missing the point, then extends his hand. "C'mon, I can help you more than the railing can."

"Promise not to sue me if I break your face by crashing into you?"

"Promise, now grab my hand and skate!"

Your hands in his, you take the leap of faith and separate from the barrier around the oblong rink. Namjoon slowly skates backwards, carrying you the whole way. Your eyes remain glued to your trembling feet, careful not to have the blades deviate too far out to one side or the other.

"Look at you!" he cheers, ever the positive one. "A whole two minutes on your feet."

"Shut up."

You won't deny that your progress surprises even you. Despite having to hold both his hands for the first ten minutes, then eventually one as you skate side-by-side for the following half-hour, you're more adept at skating than you thought you would be.

"You think you can try on your own for a lap?" he inquires.

Giving a hesitant nod, you let go of Namjoon's hand, saying, "Don't leave my side, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Taking a deep breath in, you push one skate out in front of the other and move yourself forward. The other follows after, and you get about twenty feet before you stumble and nearly fall face-first. Luckily, Namjoon keeps his promise and wraps his arms around your waist before you crash.

"Good try!" he exclaims, keeping his arms around your middle even after you regain your balance. "You got pretty far, actually."

You give an awkward chuckle and lay your nervous hands over his at your hip. "Maybe I'm not quite ready for a free-skate yet."

"No worries." He lets his arms drop and retakes your hand to steady you. The dimples appear next to his smile as he adjusts your beanie on your head, which had nearly fallen off in your almost-fall. "But I gotta say, you didn't have to fall for me on Day 1."

"So smooth!" You roll your eyes and give his shoulder a playful shove, only to gasp and reach back for him when he naturally skates backwards at the push. "Nevermind, I take it back. Please don't leave me in the middle of the rink."

Namjoon lets out a loud laugh, nearly doubling over as you cling to him. "You're so cute."

As you skate together, you keep getting the feeling that Namjoon has spent far more time on the ice than you previously assumed. After you get the hang of it yourself and are able to wobble along beside him without a constant hand to hold, he smiles a proud, wide smile.

"See? I knew you could do it!"

You raise your eyebrows at him. "Still nowhere near close to you."

"That's what a lot of people say," he brushes it off.

"Way to brag there, Joon," you snort, then immediately freeze in place so suddenly that you nearly fall over again. "Wait—you don't mind if I call you that, do you?"

Namjoon's smile shows his dimples, and they deepen with his reply. "Not a bit." The song changes, playing the symphonic piece "Noel on Ice." Namjoon's face lights up, and he turns back to you with a wink. "Watch me?"

Nodding affirmatively, you release his hand and let him skate towards the center of the rink. His gaze remains on you as he spins to a stop in the middle, then turns his gaze downwards. Arms still at his sides, and his shoulders straighten. You await with bated breath for the next note.

The melody lifts, and Namjoon's arms follow suit. Piano notes drip across the chilled air, and the violin prompts an extension of his hands upwards. Then he moves, gracefully flowing from one movement to the next, as if this has been an ice dance built into his very being. The harp and cello urge him to move faster, spinning like a dancer across their stage.

Namjoon spins into the air, fully coming off the ice. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth out of fear, but he lands it with ease, shifting into his next series of steps like a professional. Flawless and practiced, he's caught the attention of everyone at the rink. As you look around, you see everyone else focused intently on the skater. Some even have their phones out to record. Not just one or two people, either; you see at least a half dozen with their cameras trained on Namjoon.

That in particular has you perplexed. Brows pulling together, you shift your eyes back to Namjoon. The piece is nearing its close, and he's moved back to the center of the ice. Twirling in place, he's moving like a spinning top. Always in a single place, so fast you can barely see, gracefully shaving ice under him so that snowflakes fall around him. He lowers, nearly sitting as he continues to twirl on one foot. The music grows to its crescendo. Slowly, he rises up and extends his hands towards the sky.

And then it hits you.

There's a reason why his face, his voice, and his presence is so familiar to you. You couldn't put your finger on it until just now, but the way he moves on the ice like he's the only one in the room — like it's a second home — brings you back to one of the first days you had in Seoul. That first day, at the Incheon Airport, the man you saw being bombarded with press and fans. Then again on the screens in the lobby of the immigration center. And again a few nights ago on the news.

RM Nam. South Korea's pride and joy, their greatest skater, the man bound for the Winter Olympics until a training injury earlier in the year put him out for the season. You're not into sports, but even you knew him by name and the tragedy that had occurred.

That legendary skater was the one in front of you now. He hadn't mentioned it, and you didn't suspect a thing until today. While definitely a shock, you can't help but be in awe of him even more. He isn't just good on the ice — he's like nothing you've ever seen.

As the music comes to a close, Namjoon skates to a halt. His spin finishes, and he ends with a ending pose bow. Clearly out of breath and shoulders heaving, his gaze shifts to you once again. Your smile widens, and you throw your hands up as you cheer. The others around you begin to clap, but you're by far the most enthusiastic one there.

Suddenly, Namjoon's persona returns to that of a shy and humble one. He bows again in the directions of the viewers, then scurries out from the center and back to you. Eventually, those around you begin to skate once more, ignoring the fact that one of the biggest sports icons in all of Korea is among them.

Namjoon runs a hand over his bleached hair, his smile sweet and his eyes a little nervous as he approaches. You shake your head in awe, letting a surprised laugh slip out.

"Okay, I see exactly what you're doing now. You suggested ice skating because you're Olympic-level! That's totally cheating, by the way."

Namjoon skids to a stop in front of you, as graceful as his takeoff. Without thinking, you reach your hand for his, which he gladly takes. "Figured it out finally, did you?"

"Call me stupid, but I honestly didn't see it until just now." You shove his shoulder with your free hand, only encouraging his teasing reaction. "RM: Guessing that's a stage name?"

He adjusts the beanie over his hair and gives an affirmative gesture. "Yeah, mainly to protect my privacy. Skating world can get pretty intense, sometimes."

You move your chin towards his shoulder, recalling that's where the injury occurred over the summer. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, totally okay. I go to PT a couple times a week. Mostly healed up, just can't compete for another few months. My coach has made me swear off skating until the New Year, but I figured it was worth throwing a little extra into trying to impress a pretty girl." He tilts his head to the side, rubbing the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "Did it work?"

Instead of responding verbally, you curl your finger towards you, a mischievous smile on your face. Namjoon lowers his head and skates closer to you. When he's within arm's reach, you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. A giggle slips out as his eyes widen and his cheeks flush.

"So... Is that a yes?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, throwing your arms in the air and nearly falling over for the hundredth time that night.

Namjoon returns the chaste gesture to your temple as he helps you recover your balance. "Skate with me some more then?" he murmurs, adjusting your scarf around your neck with gentle fingers.

Your face hot and your stomach fluttery, you nod your response and loop your arm around his. "Only if you show me how to do that fancy twirl there at the end."

The idea has Namjoon laughing loudly. "That's my variation on the basic Scratch Spin, which took me about three months to nail perfectly in a routine."

"Then you'd better prepare to be here 'til February!"

After skating for hours, until both of you are exhausted and ready for food, Namjoon takes you to a nearby ramen shop that's close to the train station. It's a hole-in-the-wall, with less than five tables, but with ramen you're able to find a park bench and settle down there with your backs to the city lights and your eyes on the stars overhead. You each mostly in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the delicious food. You make sure to tell your companion how great the choice was, and you insist on coming back again soon.

After wrapping up the meal and seeing the late hour on your phone, Namjoon suggests you both start heading home. "Hate to have to take a bus at this hour instead of the last train," he snickers.

Fully in agreement, you let him take your hand again as the pair of you begin to walk back home. First on the train, then on the sidewalk the short distance to your apartment building.

As you turn the corner onto your short street, your apartment in sight, you rest your head against Namjoon's shoulder and sigh happily. "Thank you for today. It was just...magical."

"Christmas magic?"

You nod against his jacket, wistful and content. "Definitely."

Stopping outside your apartment, you turn towards him, not letting go of his hand. Namjoon gives you a content smile as he looks at you, one where his eyes glisten at his coming words. "Then I have a chance."

"At what?"

He reaches yet again for your scarf, moving it from around your lower face so he can cradle it in his hands. "Restoring your hope in the holidays, and your hope in yourself and your choices."

"Ooof, that's getting ahead of it, I think." You bite the inside of your cheek as a small tug of anxiety and sense of being lost pulls at the back of your mind.

But Namjoon is relentless in his pursuit, and for that you're grateful. "That's why I have two more days planned."

"Already?" you laugh.

"You bet!" he exclaims. "In fact, I'll pick you up at nine on Saturday, but don't wear a dress or skirt. Are you free then?"

"For you, absolutely."

His teeth show through his grin, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyebrows. The gesture is gentle and sweet, made even more so by the warmth of his hands on your cheeks through his gloves. Nevertheless, it leaves you breathless.

After a moment of silence, he pulls away and lowers his grasp, but you crave the contact as soon as he relinquishes it. He nods towards your apartment, as if saying, "I'm not leaving until you're home safe."

You take the hint and give a tiny wave as you enter your building. "Have a great night, Joonie," you whisper through the cracked door. "And thanks again."

Namjoon waves back. "Goodnight, [Y/n]. Sleep well."

Saturday can't come quickly enough. You find yourself smiling more often, a joyful feeling in your heart as you go about your work shift and college classes. Even the smallest and insignificant things feel a little easier. The weather wasn't just cold anymore; it was full of beauty and hope and Christmas spirit.

Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe he was helping you turn a corner.

Right before you're ready to head downstairs to meet Namjoon at the entrance, your phone begins to buzz. Lit up on the screen is an international number, but the area code is that of your old home. The butterflies of excitement die almost instantly, shriveling up into tiny balls of anxiety in your stomach.

Even though you ignore the call, you can't resist listening to the voicemail left behind. Putting your phone on speaker, you're shocked to hear your mother's voice wishing you a Merry Christmas, saying that she and the family miss you, and that they wished you would visit so you could clear up everything that went wrong over the summer. Your throat constricts at the sickly sweet tone; her voice always did drip in honey when she wanted something, she she was trying to manipulate her child. Between her conniving control and your father's lack of respect for privacy and personal boundaries, you remember all over again why you left.

You jump as your apartment bell rings, and the small screen by the door shows Namjoon at the entrance. "[Y/n], are you up there? I texted twice...not sure if you got those."

Looking down at your screen, you see that he's right. You have two unread texts from the last five minutes that you missed due to the unexpected caller. Shaking yourself out of it, you shoot him a quick response, close everything out, and head for the ground level.

"There you are!" Namjoon greets with a grin that almost makes you forget your mother's call.

Almost.

Forcing a smile and reply, "Sorry, I don't know why I didn't see your texts."

"No worries." He waves his hand as if to say it's nothing to worry about. "Are you okay? You seem bothered about something."

You glance up at him, unable to deny he looks slightly concerned. You mirror his laissez-faire attitude and brush it off. "Totally good. Heading to the station?"

"Not this time." Namjoon gestures towards the bike parked by the corner of the building. "You ready to go?"

"Both of us, on that? Are you sure that's safe?"

"Oh yeah! Trust me." He kicks the stand down and mounts the bike, patting the extended seat behind him. "I once rode up Namsan Mountain with Seokjin on the back of this thing, and let me tell you, he's a hell of a lot bigger than you."

Knowing he's probably right, you settle yourself on the seat behind him and wrap your arms tightly around his middle. It's probably not the most well-balanced thing in the world, but you trust Namjoon more than you buy into your fear of falling. "No skirts or dresses, huh?"

"Now you get it," he laughs, pulling out onto the bike lane on the street headed into towards the older side of the city. "Unless you'd like a wardrobe malfunction."

He picks up speed and gets to an easy pace down the street. It's fast enough to get to your location speedily but slow enough that you're able to stare at the beautiful buildings and wondrous landscape around you. Even the people have an aura of happiness caused by Christmas. Had it always been this stunning? Or had you been blind to it until just now?

"Seokjin, as in Kim Seokjin, your rival?"

"So you do watch the news," he sighs. "They aren’t portraying us as friends these days, are they?"

You shake your head and rest your chin on his shoulder. "Not really. I didn't know you were friends."

Namjoon shrugs his shoulders slightly, his voice monotone. "Yeah, well, we've known each other since we were seven, got into skating together around that time, and have been friends ever since. While I wish I didn't have to sit this one out, I couldn't be happier to have him representing South Korea at the Worlds — sorry, that's what we call the World Figure Skating Championships."

"Yeah, they're kind of painting you as opposites."

"That's just what the news does, I guess. Gossip and tabloids and fan-wars. I fell on the ice and hit my shoulder pretty hard; it had nothing to do with Seokjin. He and I talked before I left, too. We're on good terms. Most of us from South Korea are friends, actually. We only get represented as enemies because it's a competition. But a lot of times we're on the same flights, in the same hotels, in the same training areas, you get the idea."

Namjoon pulls up to a stoplight at a near empty intersection, waiting silently for it to shift colors. "Is that what you meant by change of career?" you inquire.

"You're observant," he chuckles.

You turn to rest your cheek on his back. "For what it's worth, and keep in mind that I don't know the first thing about figure skating or your injury or anything like that, but as someone on the outside looking in, you're still so talented. Last week, when you were skating alone, I couldn't tell at all you were injured, and you looked like you were really enjoying it. I don't know if that means anything to you coming from a novice, but if you're still in love with skating and want to get back out there, I think you should go for it. You're still spectacular to watch, Joonie."

There's a beat of silence, but then Namjoon glances over his shoulder and winks at you. "Would you come see me perform live if I did?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you state, "Why not?"

He laughs at your silly expression, then begins to move the bike again as the light finally shifts. "That actually means a lot, [Y/n]. Thank you."

The rest of the ride is quiet, at least until you begin to hear the sounds of a bustling outdoor market. Namjoon turns the final corner, and you're elated with the stone street in an older part of Seoul. Vendors in various booths stretch out in every direction. Some sell food or drink, some sell trinkets or clothing, some even sell vintage books or vinyls or movies. Every nook and cranny has something special to offer. The sights, smells and sounds bring an enormous smile to your face as Namjoon steadies the bike to a stop beside the bicycle rack.

You hop off with his help, nearly bouncing up and down from excitement as he parks and locks his bike on the stand. "This is amazing!" Turning to him, you catch him off-guard with a tight embrace, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pulling him down to you.

Namjoon seems amused by your eager reaction, and he pulls you closer to him. "I thought you would like it. There's nothing quite like Christmas than a market."

After letting him go, you press a kiss to his cheek as you lower back down to your level. Namjoon's hands tenderly cradle your face, just like last time, only today he's glancing away from your eyes and down to your lips. As your heartbeat quickens, you pull him back to you, fingers grasping at his winter jacket.

His voice is deep and soft as he asks, "May I...?"

Your cheeks flush as you nod your approval. Namjoon's dimples deepen as he lowers his face to yours, barely brushing his lips against yours in the gentlest kiss you've ever had. You close the distance, tugging at his jacket so he moves closer. He gives a tiny laugh against your mouth, then follows your guidance to deepen the kiss. One hand slips back to your hair; he gently plays with the strands.

A moment later, and you're sighing as he pulls away, both light-headed and light-hearted. Namjoon smiles down at you, gives you a surprising second peck, then pulls back with a chuckle. "You're a really cute kisser, y'know that?"

You drop your head and hide your face in the front of his coat. "Shut up."

Your companion's laughter echoes in the air around you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and places his lips briefly on the top of your head. "Are you hungry? I know where we can get the absolute best Tteok-kkochi."

Eventually you lift your head and nod, feeling your stomach rumble at the thought of rice cake skewers. Namjoon moves his arm from around your shoulders, taking your hand instead, and ushers you into the first aisle of the Christmas market.

If it was magical from the outside, it's even more so from within. Somewhere in the distance, you hear holiday music playing. Not the commercial Christmas songs you're used to, but instrumental music that plays perfectly with the sounds of the market crowds. You're awestruck by every single booth you pass, and Namjoon promises to take you back to all of them after you grab a bite to eat.

Which are well worth the walk into the interior of the market. The Tteok-kkochi are cooked to perfection, drowned in a sauce, and by far the best you've ever had. Even after circling back to the booths you missed on the way, you beg Namjoon to lead you back to get another set.

"I've found heaven," you exclaim dramatically, taking the next two from the cook behind the counter and hanging one to your companion. "I'll never have rice cake skewers this good again."

After paying, you spot a section of the market decorated with lights and colorful orbs, much like the decorations you're used to seeing in the West. "Can we go over there next?"

Namjoon spots where you're pointing and eagerly agrees. The pair of you make your way towards the greenery and decor, amazed at the giant Christmas trees decorated to perfection on the periphery of the market.

"That's a massive tree," he gasps, staring upwards. "Are those normal in America?"

"Maybe at a mall or outside a hotel or something," you reply, equally as taken back. "I've never seen one that big in person in a long time."

As you peruse the Christmas section of the market, slipping from booth to booth as the clock strikes Noon, Namjoon asks, "Have you decorated your apartment at all? I know it can be kinda hard to find stuff in Korea like you're used to."

"Not really," you admit in passing. "Between work and school and, y'know, starting a new life in a foreign country, the holidays kinda fell on the back-burner."

Namjoon taps your shoulder, ushering your attention towards the old, American Christmas movies booth a few spots away. You gasp and rush over with renewed excitement, eyes scanning eagerly over the shelves. They have just about everything, from the classics like "It's A Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" to movies you grew up on like "Home Alone" and "Elf." The more you sort through the outdated DVDs, the bigger your smile gets.

"What's your favorite Christmas movie?" Namjoon asks, casually looking through the Christmas vinyls on the booth next to the movies.

"Without a doubt, Ron Howard's 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas.'"

"The one with Jim Carrey?"

"You know it!"

He laughs. "Yeah, my little sister and I watched it a lot when we were kids."

Your head perks up at the mention of a sister. "I didn't know you had siblings, either."

Namjoon nods. "Yeah, she's in college, too. Studying to be a psychologist."

"She sounds amazing."

"Yeah, the family is very proud. I know I am." He pulls out a vinyl for one of Frank Sinatra's Christmas records. "Do you have siblings?"

At the question, your gaze shifts back to the movies, hands preoccupied with finding the perfect one. "I do. A brother and a sister."

"Older?"

"Yeah..."

"What are they like?"

"A lot like my parents," you sigh, moving on to another shelf, turning your back to your companion. "Which is part of the reason I left, so..."

Namjoon senses your anxiety around the topic and rests a hand on your shoulder as he passes by. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize--"

You cut him off with a casual wave of your hand. "It's no worries, really." Spotting the record under his arm, you ask, "Find one you like?"

While he doesn't seem to buy your act, he lets the conversation go and holds up the vinyl for "Tales of Noel on Ice" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, as performed by the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra.

"You don't already have that one?" you gawk in surprise.

"I don't actually," he admits bashfully. "The title composition is one of my best free skate performances, and I have a record player at home, so why not?" He gestures to the movies. "Did you find one?"

"Oh, I don't need one! I was just looking. I don't even have a DVD player anymore."

"I do, so pick one out and maybe we can watch it sometime."

You shake your head at him, trying to subdue a chuckle. "A record player and a DVD player? You're so odd."

"But to your benefit," he reminds you with a wink, pulling out a single movie nearest him. It happens to be your favorite with Jim Carrey in all his hilarious glory on the front.

Cocking an eyebrow, you give a tiny round of applause at the luck of pulling that film out of all the others. "Well, you're going to have to invite me over sometime then."

"You can count on it."

For the next couple hours, Namjoon and you make your way through the entire market, hitting all the shops that interest and intrigue you. All the while, you talk about a plethora of things and get to know each other letter. For instance, you find out that he was born in Ilsan, not too far from where you are now, and that he hates seafood just about as much as mint chocolate. You also find out that he looks like his mother, who was the one that got him into skating to begin with. And to no one's surprise, Namjoon is actually very funny. Not only is he smart, athletic, and good looking — which alone would have caught your attention — he's got a wicked sense of humor to top it all off.

Likewise, he learns more about you. You tell him about the city you grew up in, the friends you had in high school, what you studied before you came to Korea. You tell him that along with your studies, you're really invested in writing and try to make time for that as well. It hasn't been so easy since the move, but you're hoping to get back to it in the new year.

As you approach mid-afternoon, and the final leg of the market, your phone begins to buzz. Your screen lights up with the same foreign number as before. Instantly, both your feet and your heart stop. Your shoulders tense up, and you turn to a blissfully unaware Namjoon, saying, "Hey, I gotta take this. You go on ahead."

"Are you sure?" he asks, the person in front of him not the same happy-go-lucky one as before.

You give him a nod of reassurance. "I'll catch up."

Before he can reply, you've turned and moved towards the massive Christmas trees, where there's an opening and the crowds are quieter. Despite what you told him, you don't intend on answering. Whoever is on the other end of that line, be it your mother or father or siblings, you want nothing to do with them. You do, however, want this to be over. You promise yourself to hear the message, block them, and then go run an errand after the holidays to get a new number.

After the call drops, you wait with an anxious feeling building in your stomach. Maybe they didn't leave a message. Maybe it wasn't your family after all. Maybe —

A soft ping alerts you that you have a new message. Selecting it, you raise your phone to your ear and hear your father this time. He repeats all of what your mother said, only with a layer of frustration and authority that she didn't use. He's borderline cruel as he spouts the same old lies that you're trying to unlearn; it's your fault, it's because of you, you're the cause of it. What it is, depends on the day. This time is has to do with your family not being the same and their world falling to pieces. He uses colorful sentences, well-crafted insults, but all you hear is blame, blame, blame.

Tears prick your eyes as the voicemail ends, and you realize you should've just deleted the message when you had the chance. A small part of you still hoped they would change, even after all this time, but you see now that it's not possible.

They will never change, and neither will you.

The pit of depression weighs down in your stomach, and loneliness tingles at the back of your throat. Why now? Out of all the times, out of all the days, why are you feeling these things now? You're out having an adventure with a man who you really like, and who you know likes you, in a city you now call home. You're far from any sadness or trauma or family or friends that once brought you down. You've left your past behind. You'd started to feel like there was hope in the holidays and in the future again, like the last year was worth the pain, like everything was starting to turn around.

But suddenly, that snake is wrapped around you again, pulling you back into old habits and old ways of thinking. It's grabbed on tight and is pulling you back into the dark, away from people you care about, away from people who care about you.

Even as you glance up at Namjoon a few stalls away, completely naïve to the painful flickers going through your mind, you feel the need to draw back. Pull away. Stay away. Go back to the security of the known, of the sad, of the lonely. It's warm and comfy, even if it hurts.

Clenching your fists, you try to silence the noise in your brain by shaking your head. The thoughts only grow louder, and the pit in your stomach gets heavier. You haven't felt a depressive episode like this in a long time. You thought they were long gone, especially now, especially with him...

"[Y/n]? Are you okay?"

Looking up, you see Namjoon's approaching you in the clearing. One hand carries the movie and vinyl he purchased for you both, but the other is outstretched towards you. While you don't pull away from his touch, you taste bile in the back of your throat.

"I—I need to go home," you mutter. "I'm starting to feel sick."

"Oh, okay, hold up I'll go get my bike and I'll take you home."

Feeling your breath quicken, you pull your gaze from Namjoon and nod shakily. The walk back to the bike rack is silent, even the crowd outside fades to a low background murmur. Namjoon places the purchased items in his bicycle carrier, then mounts it.

You follow suit, regret beginning to pile up inside you. Running isn't going to help anything, and you know he must be hurt and confused. But to you, the only thing you can do right now to protect yourself is get away from it all and go back to the place where you feel safest.

Tears burn your eyes as you curl up against him. Namjoon pedals speedily to your apartment, making the trip faster than last time. When he pulls up to the curb, you hop off without a word.

"Do you need me to walk you up?" he offers, worry causing his brows to pull together.

You shake your head and put distance between you both. "No, I'm fine. I'll...text you later, okay?"

Without another word, you turn and enter through the front, leaving Namjoon behind on the other side. Trekking up the stairs, through the door, past a mewling Mochi, you curl up on your bed and let yourself finally feel all the sadness piled up inside.

Fifteen minutes later, the waterworks flow when your phone lights up from an incoming text. Knowing exactly who it is, you grab it and text a swift message to Namjoon.

"I'm so sorry I left so suddenly. And that I ruined our day. Not feeling like myself."

"That's okay. I just got home, so I wanted to check up on you. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Do you need anything?"

"No, but thank you."

"Okay... Maybe we can try again some other time? I'd hate to let you down on Day 2."

Unable to reply, the phone turns black and you let it fall onto the duvet.

The days leading up until Christmas Eve were long and full of guilt. You closed the café for the final time the Monday before the holiday, and with no classes to attend, you mainly stayed inside and watched the snow fall outside your tiny apartment window. Mochi kept you company, but even the small fur ball could sense that something had changed for the worse. Even she had gotten used to you being happier this December; you'd taken two steps back while attempting to take a single step forward.

Every morning, you'd spot Namjoon riding his bike past your apartment on his way to the rink where he trains. Every day, he'd stop and gaze up at the building, never sure which frosty window you were behind but melancholy just the same. He'd call and text; the former, you would never answer, but the latter, you did sporadically. Mainly at night when you thought he wouldn't be up.

He usually was.

"Was it something I did?" he asked that Tuesday before Christmas. "Did I move too fast? Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"No. It's not you."

"Then tell me what it is. I don't want to come across as pushy, but I thought we were getting closer...and then you pull back and hide from me. From everyone. I know I don't know everything about your past or what happened before you came to Seoul, but I promised you three adventures. I still have one to make good on before Christmas."

"Joonie..."

You couldn't bring yourself to write more. The tiny part of your brain that told you that maybe this can work, maybe it's worth trying, maybe things can be different now, it was silenced by the overwhelming majority of your mind. It remembered everything from your past, from the hurt and pain, from the loneliness and fear. Despite your wish to make things right again, it was drowned out by the pure terror of being wronged again.

"Don't shut me out. Please. Let me show you things can be different now. You don't have to go at this alone, [Y/n]. Not anymore."

Pushing down the urge to cry yet again, you move your fingers to type a swift and cold reply. "I'm so sorry I wasted your time, Namjoon. I really am. I thought I was ready, but it's clear that I'm not. Please, spend Christmas with your family. Don't waste any more time on me."

And that was the end of it. You muted his notifications, ignored his calls and texts, and eventually he went silent. The day before Christmas Eve was the first you didn't hear from him, and it was the first day you felt like you'd truly fucked things up for good.

On Christmas Eve, you got an unexpected call from Lisa. Deciding to take a break from staring at an empty Word document with ever-growing frustration, you answered the call, only to be bombarded by Lisa's rambling.

"Oh, thank god! I didn't think you'd answer! I need a huge favor, and I hate to bother on such short notice on Christmas Eve, but this really cannot wait and I'll love you forever if you—!"

"—Okay, okay," you chuckle, shaking your head at her antics.

"I need you to run back to the café and grab something for me. Jungkook is on his way there, but he doesn't have a key."

"What could you possibly have left that's this important?"

"My fucking credit card."

"You've been out of town for two weeks and only just now realized you left your card?"

She heaves a frustrated sigh. "Please, just, do me this favor?"

Rolling your eyes, you pull yourself from the sofa and grab your keys on the counter. "Fine, but you owe me."

"Yes, yes, I know."

You leave the apartment in a hurry, taking the next train to the café. In less than fifteen minutes, you're at the front door. Lisa assures you that Jungkook is on his way, only twenty minutes away. After unlocking it, you make yourself at home in the lobby with a fresh white chocolate mocha. It reminds you of Yeongu, and you smile at the thought.

After about a half hour, your phone begins to buzz in your pocket. Lisa's text has you halting in place.

"I'm sorry to do this. You didn't really give me another choice. I crossed a line, but I think you'll thank me in the end."

Your fingers are swift typing a response. "What did you do?"

"You remember how you gave me a spare key in case you ever got locked out? Or in case you were kept at school too long and needed someone to feed Mochi?" A pause, then she adds, "He came to Busan, [Y/n]. He asked me in person what to do. Do you know how out of the way that was for him? Give him another chance. Please."

"You didn't."

"I did. I'm sorry, but you've talked about how you pull away when you get close to people. It's gone on for almost a week. It's Christmas Eve. You can hate me all you want later, but please. Go home, kiss and make up, then try to salvage Christmas."

A huff of air exits your nostrils as it hits you. Lisa's given the spare to Namjoon. Jungkook was never on his way; this was all a rouse to get you out of your apartment long enough for him to get inside. But to what end?

"He's good for you; I can tell that much already. If you ever were to give someone the benefit of the doubt and place your broken pieces in someone's hands, he's the best you're gonna find."

A pang of truth rocks through you, and while you have still a semblance of willpower, you shoot her a swift text and rush back for the station. "I'm still mad at you, but we'll talk later. I need to get home."

"Go get him!"

The series of stairs up to your apartment never felt so long. Out of breath and winded from rushing home, you find the door unlocked. Pushing through, the place you left less than an hour ago isn't the same as it was before.

The entrance hallway is glittering, multi-colored strands of twinkle lights hanging along the periphery. Fake snow lines the trim, and paper snowflakes are tossed across the furniture. Each one is unique and hand-crafted.

As you venture further, a rainbow array aurora covers your living room and kitchen. There must be at least a dozen lengthy strands of Christmas lights hung across the few items you've unpacked, circled around the sealed boxes, and framing every window and door. Fake icicles hang on the windowsill, fake greenery lays where curtains should be, and a small Christmas tree stands at your height in the corner.

Jovial, English holiday music plays softly in the background. And humming along to the tune of The First Noel, Namjoon stands with bent-back facing you. He's finishing his final touches on the tree, ensuring that each sparkling orb and shimmering tinsel is perfect. He adjusts the star on the top with a smile to himself, oblivious still to your entrance.

For a moment, you stand in silence and watch him. Your heart is heavy but still beating. If anything, seeing him in the midst of such a sweet and selfless act makes it flutter. Even after cutting his well-planned adventure short, ignoring him for over a week, and telling him to stop speaking to you, he's still here. He came back, and he's trying to prove to you the truth he's been spouting all along.

Eventually, you blink out of your stupor and clear your throat to alert him to your presence. Namjoon turns on his heel, elbow grazing the tree just enough to send it toppling backward. He curses and lunges for it, grabbing it by the star just in time to keep it upright. His characteristic clumsiness prompts a snicker from you, one that you attempt to hide with your hand over your mouth.

Namjoon adjusts the tree and turns back to you with a bashful expression. His lips pull into a side-smile, a single dimple popping out in the process. "H—Hi..."

"Hi," you repeat back to him, letting your hand fall. Your eyes follow suit and drift to your damp, snow-covered shoes.

A beat of silence passes where neither of you knows what to say next. Then the both of you break it at once, words tumbling over each others several times in a row. You laugh to yourself and look back up at him; Namjoon smiles down at you, shaking his head at the awkward reunion.

He gestures silently to you. "Go ahead."

You clear your throat, then say, "I...I wanted to say that I owe you an apology."

He shakes his head firmly, extending his hands in a olive-branch manner. "No, you don't—"

Your feet move back, putting space between you both. "—Can I explain and finish, please? Just...hold your forgiveness until then." At your request, your companion falls silent, letting his hands fall respectfully at his side. Taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment, you re-calibrate your mind and prepare for your admission.

"There's a lot you don't know about me yet," you begin softly. "Ah, shit — That came out super mean. I mean, you know a lot about me. You kinda know why I moved to Korea, the situation with my family back in America, that whole thing. You know where I work and what I'm studying. You know my favorite drink of all time is a white chocolate mocha, and that my favorite customer is barely four feet tall. You know Lisa is my shield at work, and that we've become pretty close in less than a year. You know I'm a homebody and that my favorite thing to do by myself is play with Mochi and watch dramas."

You release a huff of air and raise your eyes to meet his, a wistful smile tugging the corners of your lips. "But there's a lot I haven't told you — or anyone for that matter. I've gone through...a lot of shit this year. When I moved to Seoul, my mental health was in the trash, and my self worth was in shambles. I'd just been shoved from everything I'd ever known into a foreign place."

When you pause for a moment, Namjoon's small and steady voice pipes up with a single inquiry. "I thought you left willingly?"

"I did," you state. "I've wanted to move to South Korea for a long, long time. Since I can remember. But I never thought I'd lose everything before then." Tears prick your eyes, and you lift your sleeve to wipe your nose. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Namjoon gestures towards the small sofa, and you follow his lead. You perch on a single cushion, legs folded underneath you. He takes the adjacent one, far enough to for personal space but still close enough to rest a hand on your knee. This time, you don't push him away as you catch your breath. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, I do, but maybe not now." You take another breath in and focus your thoughts. "I didn't mean to start all that with the intention of being the victim and making you feel bad for me. I...I told you that because I wanted you to know that there are reasons why I push people away. I've been on a journey to heal that trauma all year, but it doesn't happen overnight. But even with that, I never should have just left like that. I never should have ignored your calls and texts. I shouldn't have made you feel like you were the bad guy, or that any of this was your fault, or that you did anything wrong. You were—"

You struggle to find a word that fits what you're truly feeling, one that doesn't feel overwhelming, but the only one that comes to mind is... "You are perfect, Joonie. You're sweet and kind. You treat me like a normal person that's worth something, and I think part of me was scared of that. Especially around the holidays, I feel very fragile, and I run from things I think might hurt me."

"I would never, ever hurt you." Namjoon flashes a soft and empathetic smile. "Can I ask why you got spooked so suddenly? You looked off when I picked you up, and I know you said it was nothing, but..."

You pull your phone from your pocket and play the message for him, the one from your mother. And when he remains silent, you play the second from your father. While he listens, you watch him. The hand on your knee turns to a fist, and his jaw clenches. Part of you is relieved that someone else is reacting negatively to the messages, yet another signal to you that your choice is validated.

"I got the first that morning, but the second right before I left," you murmur. "I didn't respond, and I've blocked the numbers, but I've felt unstable since then. That's why I shut down, and why I left."

He nods, then turns off the phone. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. That's emotional abuse and manipulation. No one should have to go through that."

"I know, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for doing that and for hurting you. It was wrong, and I don't deserve you coming back again and again...even if you concocted this up with Lisa."

At your light-hearted comment, he chuckles and bites the inside of his cheek. The fist on your knee loosens back, his fingers tapping gently against your skin. "She told you, did she?"

"Yep," you chirp. "I'll thank her later."

After a moment, Namjoon's eyes flicker back up to yours. For a moment, he almost looks worried. "Are you mad?"

"Meh." For a moment, you're able to hold your composure long enough for your companion's eyes to widen in horror. "I'm just kidding," you relent, and Namjoon looks visibly relieved. "How could I be mad? Look at all this!" You gesture to the magical space around you. "It looks like a wonderland in here."

A crimson hue fills his face, and he's all of a sudden very shy about the accomplishment. "I wanted you to feel like you had a Christmas, even if it was just for one night."

Leaning your head against the back cushion of the sofa, you stare at him with a bittersweet smile on your face. "Are you mad at me?"

He shakes his head, expression more adamant about that than anything he's said so far. "Not a bit. I was worried, yes, and maybe a little disappointed. I think most of that was tied to the fact that I thought we were on the up-and-up. I saw you slowly opening up and having a good time."

"Gahhh," you groan, eyes fluttering shut with frustration at your past self. "I really fucked it up, didn't I?"

"Not really." His hand slips up your knee, and he weaves his fingers through yours. The squeeze he gives and the gaze he locks gives emphasis to his next words. "I know I don't know everything about you, just like you don't know everything about me, but I'd be lying if I said you aren't the most joyful thing I've experienced in a while. Being around you makes me happy, and the fact that this has you so down makes me want to be there for you — if you want me to. I don't blame you for anything you've done, so you have nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, after hearing those messages and some of what you've been dealing with this year, I know I would've reacted the same way. But, if it helps your peace of mind, then I forgive it all."

"Thank you," you whisper, trying to blink away the tears pricking your eyes.

Namjoon's gaze softens, and he tugs on your hand. "C'mere." You scoot closer, and he pulls you the rest of the way onto his lap and into his arms. Your legs dangle off the side of his thighs, and your head nestles in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. One hand holds tightly to yours while the other circles your waist, dipping under your sweater to rub soothing circles on your skin. Your free arm wraps around his waist, pulling him even closer than before.

"Sometimes terrible, inexplicable things happen to us and it takes us months — even years — to process." Namjoon's timbre is quiet and deep, rumbling against your ear as he speaks. "Everyone goes through that, even me. But it's so much harder to face it alone. Sometimes it takes a lonely, awful Christmas to see just how out of sorts you are. I don't know everything, but if you'll have me, I'd like to stick around to find out."

"You'd still be willing to get to know me more, even after seeing me at my worst?"

"Jagi, if this is your worst, then I would hate to introduce you to sixteen-year-old Kim Namjoon. That boy was a train-wreck."

Letting a watery smile show as laughter escapes your lungs, you reach upward and wrap your arms around Namjoon's neck. He pulls you closer, hands splayed on your back and waist. A sense of relief, and something like home, floods through you. Burying your face in his neck, you allow yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. Ever patient, your companion just holds you close as you come back around.

"Enough with the heavy," he breaks the silence, pulling back and wiping his thumb across your cheeks. Nodding towards the front of the space, where your television is, you follow his line of sight. "I brought your movie and the player. If you're okay with me staying over, do you wanna watch it?"

Leaning forward, you bring your face closer to his, murmuring, "I'd love that."

Namjoon closes the final distance. Both your eyes and his flutter shut as your lips meet in the middle. You tug on the collar of his sweater, encouraging him closer as his arms tighten around your waist. In a burst of bravery, you run your hand through his platinum hair and nip at his bottom lip. He inhales abruptly, and you giggle in response.

"You're gonna be the death of me, [Y/n] [Y/l/n]," he laughs, eventually pulling back to catch his breath.

You grin mischievously at him, biting your lower lip. "Still sure you wanna stay?"

"Definitely. Oh! And I placed an order for takeout, which should be here any minute."

You burst into laughter, resting your forehead against his shoulder as joy fills your body. "You really put all your chips on me coming to my senses, didn't you?" When he shrugs, you add, "What if I had said no?"

"Then I would've been eating for two alone in my apartment," he groans.

You shake your head at his antics and playfully poke the dimple in his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Joonie.”

His smile deepens at your words and gesture. “Merry Christmas, [Y/n].”

Just as he promised, food arrives at the front of your apartment a few minutes later. Namjoon hops up and volunteers to get it from the entrance, and you pop the movie into the player. Silencing the music on his phone, you select the "Play" option from the menu, and the credits begin to play over Anthony Hopkins' narration as your companion returns.

He serves up the food and delivers it to you on the sofa. With a rumbling stomach, you take it gratefully. Just as the singing begins, Namjoon settles into the seat beside you, hooking your leg over his so you maintain closeness as you devour the takeout. Neither of you have seen it in so long, and thus both of you are laughing whole-heartedly at every joke and hilarious mannerism.

After the meal is finished and the dishes are on the makeshift box side-table, you find yourself slowly slipping closer to your companion. Namjoon gladly pulls you closer, and by the middle of the movie, you're back in his lap. With the blanket wrapped around you both, his chin on your head, his arms around you with one hand tracing absent-minded patterns on the skin above your pants, you know you've never been more at home in Seoul than you are right now.

"I'm sorry I ruined your grand plans for Day 3," you murmur after a while.

Namjoon's hand on your waist halts, then changes to a reassuring, tapping pattern. "Be glad you did; this is way better than anything I had planned."

"While I have to agree, what did you have planned?"

You can hear his smile in his voice. "Well, honestly I hadn't decided between Lotte World or Seoullo 7017. You said you hadn't been to either of those, and at Christmas, they're magical. All the lights, the music, it's an absolute winter wonderland."

"Well, if I get to see you skate live, then we can definitely go to those after the solar New Year. Maybe...Maybe even call it a date?"

Namjoon presses a kiss to your forehead, one that makes you grin to yourself and sigh peacefully. His reply is loud and clear, a promise reverberating through his chest. "I think that sounds perfect."

As the movie continues, you relax and think back on everything that's happened this year. All your concerns and worries you had a few weeks prior, at the beginning of December, they all seem so far away now. Even those anxieties brought up recently feel as if they're resolved. he sense is comparable to that of a chapter ending and a new one is being written. And this time, you're the one holding the pen.

At the resolution of the film, you realize that what Namjoon set out to do over a series of adventures truly did come to fruition. Be it luck or fate or whatever you want to call it, he really has given you that spark of hope in the Christmas season. It's something you thought you'd lost, or perhaps you'd left it in America along with many other things. He's brought it back to life, and so much more along with it.

All that magic, all that wonder, all that love and hope and joy — Namjoon is right. It hasn't disappeared from the world, and you haven't outgrown the things you used to feel during the holiday season. It's all still right here, in front of you and around you, waiting to be taken with grateful hands and heart. Maybe it's not in the form it used to be, nor is it in the place it used to be, but neither are you. Both you and your home have changed this year. But despite it all, you are still here, still striving to love yourself and your new life, still trying to let the magic find you.

And this year, because of a wonderful person named Kim Namjoon, you had all the love and magic you could ever need.

124 notes · View notes

cherryhanji · 5 years ago

Text

streetlight

changbin x reader

genre: best friends to lovers au, quite angsty, fluff

words: 2.5k

warning(s): quite strong language

this is inspired by Changbin's Streetlight. Please stream Streetlight guys! You won't regret it. The message is so touching.)

You opened the door of your apartment as Changbin pressed the doorbell sound. Changbin went to your apartment as he sensed something with you when he called you a while ago.

As Changbin went inside, you immediately hugged him tightly as tears fell from your eyes. He rubbed your back as you cry on him.

"Cry it all out, I'll stay here for a while." He said and both of you went to the sofa and sit down.

"I'm sorry you need to go here, I told you that you don't need to go he--"

"Okay? Are you sure? You suddenly cried in front of me when I'm still going inside your house. Is that what you called okay? I can say that you're not. Look at you. I decided to spend the night here since it's our day off tomorrow, so don't worry, manager-hyung is okay with it."

Changbin stand up and fixed the food he bought for the both of you. "Y/n wait for me and just stay there while I'm preparing the foods" you nod at him in response. He bought rice cake, some boxes of pizza of different flavors for both you because he's sure your talk with him will take a lot of hours.

"Thank you binnie, sorry to disturb you this late night." You grabbed a slice of pizza and munched it

"It's nothing, y/n. what is the purpose of our friendship if it weren't for this?" Changbin said and grab a slice of pizza. It's always like this, Changbin, your bestfriend is like a savior to you. Your Streetlight, you always tell all your problems, worries, delightful stories, and resentments in your life. On the other hand, he barely tells you what are his concerns, yes he tells you what stresses him that day, his achievements, but when something seriously came up, he's always silent about it and said he can manage that one. He's acting strong for himself and you so that it doesn't affect you anymore. He just keeps those serious problems to himself. You, who just want to comfort and help him, can't do anything about it. He's your bestfriend, after all, you just want to help him overcome his problems like what he always does for you.

"Tell me, is it about that asshole again?" You nod in response. You saw him clenched his fist. You held his hand and calm him down.

"Hey, calm down. He's my boyfriend, okay. I-i mean ex-boyfriend." He looked at you with angry eyes. Not at you, he was angry, but to your boyfriend, who he knew as a sick in the ass to you ever since you started your relationship with him. Your boyfriend broke up with you because he said he's "so sick of you" and told you that he fell out of love with you, so he decided to break up with you and your other hand, can't accept it because you just can't live (eew) without him. Changbin already told you before to break up with him because you're too good for that douche bag. But you just can't because he's your first boyfriend.

"What did I tell you before? Y/n, he's just your first boyfriend, your asshole first boyfriend. There are lots of guys that are better than him."

"But I love him! I just can't let him go that easily" You retorted

"But he can do that to you? Wake up, y/n. He doesn't love you. You're just blinded by your love for him." He replied. You just cried at him like a child.

"Maybe, you're right binnie, maybe I'm just blinded by my love for him. I think it's better he ended those things up with me. In that way, I can find myself and move on. Maybe that way I can forget how asshole and a douche bag he is." You defeatedly sigh and opened another box of pizza.

"Come here" you scooted beside him and he hugged you tightly. You wrapped your arms around him as he caresses your hair.

"How many times did I tell you this, I'm just here okay? You can count on your binnie." He said and kissed your head.

You smiled at him. You're happy because Changbin once again becomes your savior. You are so happy to have a bestfriend like him. You sit down again to look at him.

"Thank you so much binnie, I know I can always count on you. Thank you so muuuch" you cheekily said and pinched his chubby cheeks. He just cupped your cheeks and didn't realize what happened until you felt his lips in yours. You're shocked but then closed your eyes after. His lips are so intoxicating it makes you melt and you didn't realize your lips are moving with his. After a minute he breaks it off as you catch your breath. A silence passed before you decided to talk.

"What was that for Changbin?" you asked him in confusion. He just lowered his head and you heard him curse in his breath.

"I-i'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you." He looked at you with a worried expression in his face.

"Let's just pretend this didn't happen. Uh, I need to go to the bathroom. " you left him and went inside the bathroom. What was that? Spur of the moment? What confused you the most is the fact that you liked it. You liked it that Changbin, your bestfriend kissed you. You're not against it. Why is that? Do you like your bestfriend? You just keep on wondering and thinking about what to do.

No words from Changbin. Two weeks after that "kiss incident" you hadn't heard about Changbin for a while now. Until you saw their group's post on Instagram that they're having their comeback this month. Maybe he's just busy because of it, you thought. But there's something weird inside of you. You miss Changbin, of course.. But there's this weird feeling bothering you ever since that night Changbin kissed you. And every time you remember it, it makes your heart beat faster like what the heck is happening to you? Do you like Changbin? Do you already have feelings for your best friend?

Every time you think about it, it makes you go crazy and it makes your mind blank. All you know is that you missed his presence, his smile, his kiss, whatever. You surely do like your best friend. Maybe you love your best friend, romantically, you already see him as a man. But still, why did he kiss you that night? Why did he do that? It's not like he will kiss you because he just feels like to. Or maybe he does have feelings for you? Here you go again, you're making your thoughts rambled inside of your head.

You decided to watch on Netflix just to get rid of these Changbin-related thoughts in your head. You just need to make yourself relax and fix these problems later.

You're now peacefully eating and watching when you heard your phone rang. You checked who's calling and you swear to all the gods, Changbin is the one who's calling. After a couple of minutes of staring at it, the call stopped, and it rang again. Changbin and his impatient ass. You decided to answer it. "H-hello binnie?"

"Oh hey y/n, what's up? We haven't contacted each other for two weeks, I'm sorry, we're just busy for the comeback." As you heard his voice from the other line, you feel like your heart wants to go out of your chest because of it's fast beating. You can't calm yourself and feel your lips form a smile. You heard his voice again after two long weeks. You feel like you keep on falling for this man.

"Uh n-no, it's okay. I know you guys are busy. You don't need to worry about me. I'm okay." You smiled even though he can't see it. You heard him chuckle at the background.

"You sure? Don't worry, if I have the time, I'll go there and bring some of your favorite pizza." He said.

"You don't have to. You need to prepare a lot for your comeback. I'm rooting for you guys." You said and cheered him up.

"Thanks a lot, y/n. Oh, anyways, I need to go back now. We're going to record some songs. See you soon! Miss you!" Your mind went blank as he said that line. You didn't know he already has this effect on you even though you say you miss each other very often ever since.

"Uh, okay! Sing well and take care of your voice!" You heard the call ended. You're so excited to see Changbin. But you can't do anything because it's his work. He needs to prepare for it.

You rolled on the sofa like a crazy little shit after the call, thinking about Changbin. You can't contain your feelings as you imagine again being with him. You feel like Changbin already occupied a place in your heart that makes him more special to you.

Today you happily went to your work after another call with Changbin last night. He just told you that he will pick you up later from work to treat you dinner. And you just can't help yourself but smile on your entire duty.

"Uhm, y/n? Are you okay? You seem to be so happy since you got here.? And you look so blooming today? Got a new boyfriend?" Your co-worker slash friend asked you. You just smiled at her.

"it's nothing, Changbin will just pick me up later and no, I don't have a new boyfriend either. It's just that I want everything to be okay and happy. I just don't want to think of that asshole ever again." You replied to her and smile. She also knows that your friends with Changbin.

You just finished the remaining papers and you're ready to go. Changbin just messaged you and said that his waiting for you outside the building where you are working. You excitedly bid to your co-workers your goodbyes and went outside to see Changbin standing there, waiting for you. His presence is so jaw-dropping. Is he always this handsome? You swear you feel like you're the luckiest biatch alive.

He waved at you and called your name. "Hey, y/n, long time no see. How's work?" He went near you and ruffled your hair

"I-it's good. I'm okay. How bout you? How's practice? Did you take a rest?" You said and shyly smiled at him. Oh gosh, You can't hide your now blushing face on him. He nods at you and takes your arm with him.

"Come, let's go buy foods. I feel like eating at your place today." He excitedly said as he looks for some restaurant to buy food.

"Okay then, also! Don't forget to buy soju okay?" You told and he just nodded at you. Gosh, you really missed Changbin and his presence.

It's already 11 pm and You and Changbin already finished 4 boxes of pizza and 3 bottles of soju. You wanted to open another bottle when Changbin stopped you from doing it.

"Y/n, stop it. You drank too much, look at yourself, you look wasted." He kept the bottles away from you. You pouted and whined at him like a crazy child. You easily get drunk and Changbin knows it. That's why he always goes with you whenever you're drinking because he knows that you might pass out because of drinking too much.

"I want some mooore, binniiiiie." You sprawled on the floor and keep on whining at him. He just rolled his eyes and carried you to the bedroom.

"You need to rest now, come on, I'll take you to your bed."

"Stay with me pleeeease" he nods at you and lays you down on your bed. He went to your closet and get some new clothes for you to change. He throws your clothes on you and faces the door.

"You change your clothes now, I'll wait outside." He hold the doorknob when he heard you talk.

"Just stay there, I'll be quick, just don't look at me, okay?" You giggled at him and change your clothes. You just heard him sighed as he waits for you.

"Done changing, you can look now!" You excitedly said to him. He went to you and fixing your blanket.

"You need to sleep now. I'll clean the living room first and I'm going to get off." He said when you tugged his arm.

"Stay here, please. Don't leave yet." He looked at your eyes and he can see the sadness in it. He just nods at you and sits down beside you.

He's just playing with your hair as you look at him like a puppy.

"I love you so muuuch, binnie." you mumbled to him.

"Why don't you sleep yet?"

"I missed you Binnie. I badly missed you. I love you Binnie, I really do." Those words just get out of your lips. You can see the shock in his eyes and later it became calm and smiled at you.

"I love you too, y/n. I always love you." Now you're the one who's shocked and looked at him. He just laughed at you and kissed your forehead. you became speechless because he replied to you. Did he just said he loves you too??

"I love you, idiot. Isn't it obvious that I'm so happy when you told me you broke up with that stupid boyfriend of yours? I just can't help but kiss you that night. I'm just shocked because I saw that you're also into it." He chuckled at you when he remembered that night.

You just became speechless again and blushed because of what he just said. Oh, maybe that's the reason.

"Does that mean--" you just can't think of any words to say.

"Yep, I know that you like me, oh no, erase that. I know that you love me, and I love you. Yep, we're dating." He leaned in and place a peck on your lips.

"But, you're not allowed yet to have rel--" he cut you off again by kissing you. Here we go again, his intoxicating lips makes your knees go weak and your mind hazy.

He breaks it off and smiles at you. "It's not a problem, they know you're my friend, we just need to wait two more years, and I can officially say to the world that you're my precious girlfriend." He smiled and kissed your forehead again. You hugged him really tight and placed your head on the crook of his neck.

"And I love you too, my princess." You can feel his lips formed a smile. You finally admitted to yourself that you're indeed in love with your bestfriend. You just opened light in each others' hearts.

#seo changbin #stray kids changbin #skz changbin #stray kids drabbles #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids #skz drabbles #skz oneshots #straykids changbin #skz blurbs #straykids blurbs

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maknaesdancersrappers · 5 years ago

Text

Devoted 2

part 6

Overall warning/s: kinkier smut (eg. voyeurism, exhibition, etc.) character death, dark themes

TRIGGER WARNING: dubious consent & possible drug use

Just how devoted is Jaehyun to you?

prev: Part 5

wc: 9.4k

“So you’re trying to get pregnant, Ms. [L/N]?” Dr. Ahn asks after pleasantries, going through your chart as she sits beside you. She’s been your gynecologist since you were a teenager; she was nice and funny, kept you comfortable throughout your appointments, she spoke to you like a wise friend instead of a condescending adult.

“Yes. My fiance and I would like to have kids soon.” You fold your hands over your lap after smoothing out your gownie.

“Oh, congratulations! Well, according to your cycle, you’ll be ovulating in a week. If you had unprotected sex recently, you can get pregnant since sperm can live in the vagina for up to 5 days.”

“This early? I thought it would take months.”

Dr. Ahn shrugs her shoulders, “Yes, but you seem to have a very active sex life, Ms. [L/N]. If you think it’s too early for you to get pregnant, I suggest you switch to pills or use a condom; or just abstain from sex for a few days just to let your body adjust to the sudden change, but you’ll have a higher chance of getting pregnant with than an IUD. I can prescribe some pills later after we get this Mirena out - if you still want to remove it.”

“Oh...” You hesitated, “Is it better to have it taken out when we’re trying for a baby immediately?”

She nods, “If you’re worried about getting pregnant before the big day and having a swollen belly, I’d suggest we keep the IUD in. But it’s all up to you, Ms. [L/N].”

You were right about your colleagues throwing you a farewell party; giggling a bit as you finish your small speech of gratitude with a toast to top off the night. Your boss coordinated everything - much to your surprise. He always seemed strict during work hours; drowning in paperwork and phone calls when he’s not overseeing projects.

“[Y/N], you’ve made so many projects under the company, I’d like to have them compiled under one major portfolio for you. Consider it a token of appreciation from us.” Your boss raised his glass of champagne at you.

“Oh, sir, you don’t have to.”

“Too late, dear, it’s already in production and has been paid for. We’ll have it delivered to you.”

“Thank you, sir. But we might be moving soon, I’ll send the new address once we move.”

“Alright. Congratulations again, [Y/N].”

He moves away from you, and you’re willing to bet he’s slowly making his way back into his own office because he’s a serial workaholic, more than Sicheng and Jaehyun combined.

Kyungwon had hooked her arm around yours by the time your (former) boss had left and she nuzzles the side of your head, “I miss you already!”

“Kyung, we’re still working on a project together.”

She whines, making it obvious she’s drank more than she could handle, “Your last project! After that, I’ll be all alone until you steal me away.”

You hush her, although you’re laughing at her words, “Shh, okay, no one knows I’m starting my own company; let alone taking you away. I have to wait until I actually start it before I can hire you.”

Kyungwon nuzzles the side of your head while clinking your glass at the same time, “‘till the day comes!”

She murmurs about needing help to the ladies’ room and you sling her arm around you to haul to the bathroom. When she’s in her cubicle, you enter the adjacent one to take care of your own business.

“It’s sad that [Y/N] is leaving.” You hear a female coworker say after the distinct sound of the door swinging open and close.

This makes you blush; flattered by their sentiments on your resignation.

“I know! Jeongin from the accounting said the other guys will be re-hired now that she’s gone.”

This, however, makes your brows arch in confusion.

“Ugh, they shouldn’t be re-hired. They’re sleazy and misogynists!” Another woman grumbles, “Maybe if I had a powerful fiance like [Y/N], then maybe every other sexual predator in this company gets booted.”

You swing the cubicle door open and your co-workers jumped at the sudden action. They’re blushing, hands frozen on their faces as they were trying to powder themselves. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop! But… what are you guys talking about?”

Your co-workers, Jihyo and Nayoung, share a look with one another. Jihyo cocks her head at you, “Wait, didn’t you request Choi Jinho and the others to be transferred for being… inappropriate?”

“Choi Jinho?” You repeat. You remember him; he left last year all of a sudden. He was very affectionate and quite flirty, he liked to throw his arms around everyone - including you. “No. I was shocked when he left. He was one of the most sought after architects in the company.”

Nayoung scoffed, “Yeah, but he’s a serial molester. Rumor has it that it was your fiance that had him pulled out of the company.”

You blinked at them; it was highly possible that it was Jaehyun’s doing, but how did he even know? You never talked about Jinho at all to him. “N-no… I don’t know anything about that.”

“Well,” Jihyo shrugs her shoulders, “They’re all coming back since you’re leaving. Whether or not your fiance had anything to do about it, it sounds awfully coincidental, doesn’t it?”

It does sound coincidental, but given Jaehyun’s power and personality, he probably did do something about the sudden resignations and transfers of your former male co-workers.

“Regardless, we really are going to miss you, [Y/N]. Us women in the company felt a lot safer when you started working here, I just wish our boss wouldn’t re-hire those jerks.” Nayoung offers you a sad smile before stuffing her cushion back into her purse.

“Fear not!” Kyungwon kicks the cubicle door she was in open, startling all three of you, “[Y/N] can save us all!”

She stumbles forward and you worriedly called out her name while stepping forward to help support her.

“Kyungwon really has low tolerance, huh?” Nayoung giggles, taking Kyungwon’s other hand and draping it around her shoulders to help you with her weight.

“She’s also right, I suppose.” You paused, “Give me… a month or two. I’m leaving the company to start my own and I’m aiming it to be a predominantly female company. I’d hire all of you in a heartbeat if you’d want to join me.”

Jihyo gasps and claps her hands, “Really? [Y/N], that’s amazing! Of course we’d love to! I’m willing to bet everything is going back the same way it was before you entered the company now that you’re leaving. Haven’t you realized that the guys don’t talk to you unless it’s work-related?”

You did realize this, but you always excused it because Jaehyun often picked you up from work and accompanied you during functions or parties. You had his picture on your desk; anyone could tell you were off the market and that’s the reason why your male co-workers didn’t bother with you like they did with your other female colleagues.

“Now that you mention it…” You trailed off, casting your eyes downwards.

“You’re so lucky that you have someone who constantly looks out for you.” Jihyo sighs, “My ex broke up with me because he thought I was cheating on him, when really the guy kept messaging me even though he knew I was taken.”

If they only knew the real reason behind why Jaehyun did those. You gave her a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry about that, Jihyo.”

“Don’t apologize, [Y/N]. It’s okay, if he can’t even trust me with guys that I only see as friends or colleagues, then he doesn’t deserve me. What’s the point of a relationship without trust, right?”

Her words pricked your heart for some reason, but you shrugged and nodded halfheartedly.

Nayoung offers to take Kyungwon home, after she heaves the alcohol out of her stomach and sobers up with a few glasses of water, and Jihyo volunteers to help her. They accompany you to where Mr. Kyung was already waiting with your boxed items already in the backseat and bid you farewell.

When you get home, you dropped your stuff at your home office and sat on the couch; too drained and tipsy to make it all the way to the bedroom. You don’t feel good - not in the sense you want to vomit after drinking. It was what Jihyo and Nayoung talked about in the bathroom. Did Jaehyun have control of your surroundings even at work? How did he even know? You had so many questions and it only made your head ache.

Staring at the 77” LG OLED TV, you frown at your reflection. Your mind is taking you back to three years ago: when Jaehyun had made it seemed you had a stalker. The fear is still fresh in your heart and it made the little hairs on your arms rise up. As if the world was playing a cruel joke on you, your phone rings and drained the color from your face. But instead of an unknown number, it was Yuta’s.

Calming yourself down, you pick up his call. “Hello?”

“[Y/N], I-I’m sorry, but you know how I invited Sicheng and Jaehyun out for some drinks?”

“...Yeah? Is something wrong? What happened?”

Yuta nervously chuckles, “Nothing… particularly bad. They’re just… really drunk and I was planning to book them each a suite at the hotel I’m staying at, but Jaehyun is adamant about going home to you.”

This alarms you; Jaehyun probably has one of the highest alcohol tolerance among the people you know. He could down beer and soju one after the other and still end up being a little goofy - but never shitfaced wasted.

“Oh my god, okay, uhm… I’ll text you our address.”

“Okay, thanks, [Y/N]. Don’t worry, I’m not driving. We’ll call for a cab.”

It was barely 11PM when you hung up on Yuta and it was just odd that Jaehyun would get that drunk so early in the night. Maybe they had more hard liquor than the usual mix he goes for.

An hour later, there’s a knock on the door and you’re sprinting towards it. Before you open it, you could hear Jaehyun arguing in slurred words that he doesn’t want to wake you up and he could open it with his house keys. Opening the door wide, you’re greeted by Yuta supporting both Jaehyun and Sicheng on either shoulder with a tired, apologetic look on his face.

When Jaehyun sees you, his face brightens up immediately. “Baby!”

“H-hey. You had fun, babe?” You stifle your laughter as he lunges forward and wraps his arms around you, hugging your figure as tight as he can. Turning to Yuta, you sigh “Yuta, I think you and Sicheng should stay the night. We have a guest room with twin beds for both of you and I’m sure I can find some clothes for both of you to wear.”

“Oh, maybe Sicheng, but I can still go home.”

“Please, I insist. It’s late and you look just as hammered as these two.”

Yuta finally relents and you usher them inside. Jaehyun slumps down on an armchair while Yuta sits Sicheng down on the couch and takes the space beside him afterwards.

You bring them bottled water; opening it for Jaehyun while Yuta does it for Sicheng. “What did you guys drink and how much of it did it take for Jaehyun to be even this wasted?”

The question was directed to Yuta, who was obviously more sober than the two, but Jaehyun answers anyways in a giddy voice, “The whole bar! Sans wine because there are hundreds of those there…. Oh, babe, I had the best scotch there.”

You hum, bringing the bottle up to his lips so he could drink water.

In your peripheral vision, you catch Yuta fondly watching both of you. “Must be nice to have someone waiting at home for you; ready to take care of you when you need them, huh?” He comments.

“Are you retiring early from the bachelor life? Your bachelor pad isn’t even complete yet.” You tease, running your fingers through Jaehyun’s hair to push it back from his face and he gives you a sleepy, childish grin.

“No, I’m gonna enjoy it a little longer. But I can’t be a bachelor forever, [Y/N].”

You excuse yourself to get clothes for them and brought back some shorts and shirts Jaehyun doesn’t use often. You direct them to the guest room where Yuta hauls Sicheng to the bed and promises to help him change after the latter whined about being too lazy. You wish them a good night and made your way back to Jaehyun.

As you close the door, you gasp to see Jaehyun already beside you, leaning his weight against the adjacent wall. “Babe! Oh my god, come on let’s get you to bed.”

“Let’s get you to bed.” He repeats with a chuckle, nose scrunching at you.

You warily eyed him, you’ve never seen him in this kind of state before - and that’s saying something. There was one time you both endlessly drank until you (just you) were throwing up and even then, Jaehyun was still his right state of mind to take care of you.

He holds your hand and lets you lead him to the bedroom, “You’re pretty.”

“I’m pretty?” You stop in your tracks, just a little past the doorway and turn at him with an incredulous expression. “The last time you called me pretty was seven years ago; when we first started dating.”

“I stopped calling you pretty?”

“No, you just used other adjectives.”

“Like?”

You feel your cheeks heat up, “Like beautiful, gorgeous, sexy… and the likes.”

Jaehyun cocks his head and grins, “You’re all of that.”

“Thank you, Jaehyun. Now let’s get you-” He cuts you off with a kiss, bringing his hands on your hips to pull you towards him. You entertain it for a moment, slinging your arms around him and even tiptoeing to push yourself up. But in the back of your mind, you remember the conversation with your former colleagues and you’re pulling away from him.

Jaehyun doesn’t get the hint and continues to press his lips on your skin, “I love you so much, [Y/N]. I’ve wanted you for so, so, so long and now you’re here; a few months away from being my wife.”

“I love you, too, Jae,” You try to stop him but he holds you with a firm grasp, “I think we should get to bed now.”

He hums in approval, bringing his lips back over yours all of a sudden; catching you off guard when he forces his tongue into your mouth and you could taste the variety of alcohol he’s consumed. He’s nudging you back until you’re by the bed and he pushes you down onto it.

“Jaehyun, wait,” Your eyes fall to the unclosed door, worried that your sudden guests would hear or need something and stumble into a salacious scene. You hate how that turns you on; how the idea of someone walking into you and Jaehyun fucking gets you wet from the get go. But you’re not keen on doing anything tonight; not when he’s too drunk and especially not after what the girls told you. “I’m not in the mood.”

Your words fell on deaf ears as Jaehyun hooks his fingers on the band of your pajama bottoms and underwear that you changed into while waiting for them and yanked them both off your legs. You try to shut your legs, but Jaehyun just wrenches them apart and dives face first into your pussy.

A gasp leaves you, your back arching off the bed and your hand shooting to grab hold of his hair. “Jae, please- wait a minute, I-”

He directs his attention to your clit; engorged and throbbing to be touched, sending pleasurable waves coursing through your veins with every lick and suck Jaehyun does.

Moments later, you feel him slip two fingers into you without any forewarning.

“You’re always so wet for me.” He grumbles, giving you a few more drawn out pumps from his fingers and kitten licks on your clit before standing to unbuckle his belt.

You take this as an opportunity to move away from him, scooting up the bed and sitting up. “Jaehyun, can you just wait for one-oh!”

He chuckles at you, grabbing onto your ankles and pulling you back near him; hovering above your frame with a mischievous smile. “Hi.”

“Hi…”

He just smiles at you; a lazy, mellow grin on his puffy face.

“Are you okay?” You whisper, touching his arms and running your hands over them in a soothing manner.

He nods, “I’m just happy.”

“I can see that.” You giggle for a second, eyes darting from his upturned lips to the hot, hard cock resting on your thigh, before your face falls. He’s acting really weird. “We should really go to sleep, Jaehyun.”

“But I’m horny.” He pushes your shirt up to expose your bare chest to him, “And you’re so hot. I can only get off on you.”

You bite down on your lower lip when his hands grab each of your breasts and gave each a good squeeze, thumbs stimulating your nipples until they were hard peaks. You look up at him, watching his eyes glint with lust at the sight in front of him. He looked so different… he doesn’t seem like himself - at least his persona of this age. It was like he was back in his early twenties, trying to get into your pants for the third time.

Jaehyun reaches over his head to remove his shirt, tossing it aside as fast as he could. He’s sweating for some reason, although the entire apartment is air-conditioned. His muscles are tensed when you hold his arms.

“Jae, are you okay?”

“Never better.” He grits out, capturing your lips into an open kiss.

When he pulls you closer, you could feel his heart beating drumming onto your chest. You pull away, “Jaehyun, your pulse is going insane.”

“Of course, it is.” He dismisses, pushing your legs apart. “It’s because of you.”

Feeling dismissed, you sigh, “Okay, Jaehyun, just one round - ah!”

You get cut off, loudly moaning when he surges forward and his cock pierces into you with minimal difficulty.

You woke up sore and aching; especially lower half. Last night, you came about five times after 3 rounds one after the other. Jaehyun was insatiable; unrelenting to your soft pleas for even a quick break. He just… wasn’t himself - at all.

With much struggle, you sit up the bed and pull up the sheets to your naked body. The clock on the nightstand reads it’s about 7AM which means you’ve been asleep for a measly 3 hours. You ought to take a shower; you slept drenched in sweat and not to mention both yours and Jaehyun’s cum dried up and crusty all over your nether regions.

A pained moan leaves you once you tried to get up; you hiss, “Damn, am I getting old?”

Holding the sheets to your body, you trudge to the bathroom but the door suddenly opens and Jaehyun steps out, paler than usual.

“Jaehyun?”

He jumps a little at your voice and he stares at you, wide eyed. He releases a sigh, eyes furrowed in the middle of his forehead. Before you could ask what’s wrong, he takes a step forward and pulls you into a tight hug.

“[Y/N], I’m so sorry.” Jaehyun mumbles into the crook of your neck, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“What?”

He kneels in front of you, taking one of your hands into his and kissing your fingers repeatedly. “I’m sorry, baby, I really am. I - it was like I had no control of myself. I’m a monster.”

You hunched down and cup his face, “Jaehyun, stop, what are you talking about?”

“You,” He almost snaps, “You didn’t want to have sex last night, but I insisted. I forced myself on you; I-”

“Jaehyun, it’s okay.”

“That’s not okay, [Y/N].” He cuts you off, “You said ‘no’ and I ignored it. I’m a monster, [Y/N], I practically ra-”

You grabbed his shoulders, “Don’t even say it! I wasn’t in the mood in the beginning, sure, but I still enjoyed myself… you should know, I came a lot.”

“But,” He tries to argue, but you hushed him.

“You know I wouldn’t go down without a fight; if I really didn’t want to, I would have made it very clear.”

“But,” Jaehyun looks at you with doubt, prompting you to give him a loving kiss on the lips. “If you had resisted… I think it would have been even worse.”

You pull away at his words, trying to search for an explanation in his face, but he has his eyes looking down to his lap. Swallowing hard, you kiss his cheek, “Monsters don’t know what’s good and bad; they don’t apologize for what they’ve done. You have, though, you know what’s right and wrong. I’m not mad or disgusted by you, Jae, I still love you.”

He finally looks at you, “I don’t deserve you, but I love you, too.”

Pulling you into a hug, he kisses your shoulder over and over again while you soothe his back with your hands.

“Although,” You trail off, leaning back on your legs, “Last night… it felt like you weren’t even here. Y-you were completely different. What were you drinking last night?”

Jaehyun sighs, “Too much of everything… I’ll ask the guys if they remember what we had so I can avoid it next time. They should be hungry now if they’re awake. I’ll go make breakfast.”

“Okay, I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

He leaves you to bathe after sharing another kiss and you wait until he’s gone before you lumber into the bathroom and stepped into the shower.

As warm water cascades down your body, you let out a sigh of relief as you feel your muscles relax under the steam. You still had to question Jaehyun about what Jihyo and Nayoung had told you, but it had to wait until your guests leave.

You’re in and out of the shower in 10 minutes, putting on proper clothing after drying off and applying some moisturizer. You tame your hair down until you’re decent enough to present yourself in front of Sicheng and Yuta and you walk out to the dining room where Sicheng exaggeratedly calls for you.

“Jiejie!” He cries, “I wanted to eat your cooking for breakfast.”

“Maybe next time?” You sympathize, glancing at Yuta as he looks through framed pictures on the shelves with a steaming cup in hand. “Are you guys alright? I hope the hangovers aren’t too bad.”

Yuta shrugs at you, “Bearable. I don’t know about these two, they were hit the hardest.” He gestures to them with his mug before taking a long sip.

“Did we drink anything you didn’t?” Jaehyun calls out from the kitchen, pausing from his cooking to ask him. “Because I’m not humble bragging or anything, but I have a very high alcohol tolerance - higher than Sicheng.”

The latter cradles his head and sighs, “I don’t even want to contest to that.”

“Hmm…” Yuta gives it a thought, approaching the table and sitting beside Sicheng. “The rum one, perhaps? I don’t like coconut that much so I didn’t even try it.”

You made yourself a cup of coffee, frowning at what Yuta had said because you’re certain that Jaehyun had downed that in a minute. Peeking at him, with the way his brows furrowed and arms crossed while watching the soup simmer, told you that he did remember the drink. You walk to him and lean your head on his shoulder, “Was it good at least?”

“Yeah, it was.” He grumbles, stirring the dried pollack soup he makes for anyone with a hangover (usually you.)

“There had to be something in it.” Sicheng pounds on the table like it was a gavel.

Yuta sits back on his seat, “Like drugs?”

“It’s the only possible reason why Jaehyun and I were so out of it; I mean, if it were only me, then it wouldn’t raise suspicion, but the fact Jaehyun…”

“We should take drug tests, Cheng, and if we come out positive; then we’ll sue the bar.” Jaehyun turns the stove off and you help him serve the soup to them. After giving a hefty portion each to the boys, you and Jaehyun serve yourselves and sit across them.

Sicheng moans at the first spoonful of soup, “I still think [Y/N]’s version is better.”

You let out a little laugh while Jaehyun scowls at him, “We use the same recipe.”

But the Chinese national just rolls his eyes and continues to eat, Yuta on the other hand, nods his head as he chews. “Wow, is there anything you can’t do?”

“He’s annoying, isn’t he?” You teased, “I used to think he was too perfect for me.”

Jaehyun nudges your leg with his, shooting you playful disapproving look.

“No flaws at all?” Yuta wonders out loud.

“Of course, I have flaws.” He defends, “Everyone does. Don’t you?”

“Oh!” Yuta dramatically exclaims, “Ask all my exes.”

Everyone chuckles at him - even Jaehyun, to your surprise; it looks like he isn’t as apprehensive towards Yuta anymore. Maybe the night out allowed them to get closer, open up a bit more about each other rather than being business associates. You reach under the table to squeeze his thigh, making him glance at you, and you simpered at him.

He returns it with his hand covering your own to hold it momentarily before both of you resume eating and entertain your guests with stories from the night before.

Yuta and Sicheng don’t extend their stay any longer and began preparing to head back to their respective homes after breakfast, dressing themselves back in their soiled clothing from the night before and were gracious enough to throw the clothes they borrowed into the laundry themselves.

“Thank you for your hospitality, Jaehyun,” Yuta sighs, nodding at him and then at you, “[Y/N].”

“Don’t mention it.” You lean onto Jaehyun as he lays his arm over your shoulders, “It’s been awhile since we had people stay the night.”

“Until next time, then!” Sicheng jokes, tossing his coat over his shoulder.

“A tamer next time; perhaps we’ll tackle their wine collection?” Yuta raises a brow at Jaehyun.

He hums, halfheartedly shrugging, “Until a tamer next time.”

Both of you see them off and once Jaehyun shuts the door, you step away from him and walked away with crossed arms. This doesn’t go unnoticed by him, following after you tentatively. “[Y/N]?”

You spin on your heels and scowled at him, “Did you have my boss fire men at the company?”

He blinks at you, “Yes…?”

“Jaehyun! Why would you do that?”

“Kyungwon said they were inappropriate and disrespectful; not only towards you, but the rest of the women at your work. I had only suggested doing something about it in passing, but she seemed to like the idea.”

You reel back and let your arms fall to your sides, “Kyungwon?”

Jaehyun nodded, “Although, she was a little drunk that time… when we first went out to drink with her and your other colleagues. She was complaining about how one of the men kept trying to touch her. I had to do something, [Y/N], it would be for your sake, too.”

“Oh.” You felt guilty now; you were ready to give him an earful for meddling in your corporate life but now you know the truth, you’re admittedly a little speechless.

“Did Kyungwon tell you? I asked her not to tell you because I’m sure you wouldn’t like it, but-”

“No,” You shake your head, “She didn’t. I overheard it in the bathroom. It seems like they’re rehiring those people now that I’m gone. I’m worried about Kyungwon and the others now; I need to start the company now so I can hire them.”

Jaehyun frowns, “I can hold the rehiring until then, baby. For now, how about I handle on your start-up to make it a little quicker? You just worry about Yuta’s apartment and our new house?”

“Are you sure? You seem pretty busy these days.”

“I have people to handle the paperwork. They’ll need your approval and signatures, but that would be it.”

“Okay.” You bite down on your lip, “Thank you.”

He chuckles, tipping your chin upwards so he could kiss you, “Anything for my everything.”

Your arms slip over his strong built, pushing yourself to hug him and press your cheek on his chest where you could feel his steady heartbeat thumping. You feel his fingers combing through your hair while his other hand rested over the small of your back.

“Is something else bothering you?”

“I just wanted to hug you…” You murmured, “But… I suppose it’s bothering me that I feel so… dependent on you. I don’t even know how different my life would be without you. You solve all my problems with a wave of your hand or snap of your fingers - to be frank,” You abruptly pull away from him with a pout, “You solve it through your wallet.”

He sighs, “[Y/N], you know money isn’t an issue to me or my family. I understand it can be overwhelming and almost impudent to solve all our problems with money, but it’s more efficient that way. My family… your future family has a steady flow of income; enough to sustain our lives and those who need it.”

“Those who need it?”

Jaehyun cocks his head, “We have plenty of charities, and provide sponsorships and scholarships, [Y/N]. The Jungs aren’t that greedy. Each of us donate to our respective charities twice a year.”

“What’s your charity?”

He hesitates, “I regularly donate to a rehabilitation center that deals with people who need psychotherapy that cannot afford it and…”

“And?”

“I also donate to the Golden Acres nursing home.”

You gasp, hands flying to your lips, “Golden Acres? That’s where…”

He nods, “Your mother mentioned about how your grandmother had been there since you were in high school. Don’t you want to visit her?”

“She doesn’t remember me.” You sadly tell him. Your grandmother had early onset Alzheimer’s at the age of 62. Your parents were working so hard to even support everyone in the house that no one could take care of her. By the next year, they had decided to move her into Golden Acres where she could be cared for 24/7. “Or at least she doesn’t remember that I’ve grown; I’m basically a stranger to her.”

“But she was an artist, yes?” Jaehyun’s hands rubs your shoulders, “You got your artistic skills from her.”

“Yeah,” You let yourself smile; when you were younger, your grandmother always encouraged you to draw or paint when she’d watch over you for your parents while they were away. “I miss her, though.”

“Then let’s visit her one day. Invite her to the wedding; whether she remembers you or not.” He kisses your forehead and pulls you back in for a hug. “What do you want to do today?”

You hum, trying to decide until you remembered that it was Sunday. You jump away from him with a gasp, “We were supposed to meet with my parents and Kun today for dinner! I haven’t contacted him at all last week.”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but chuckle at you as you briskly walk back into the bedroom. He saunters after you, crossing his arms and leans against the door frame while he watches you type on your phone. “Did you tell your parents at least?”

You glance up at him, “Yeah, of course I did.”

“So you genuinely forgot the man of the hour?”

You roll your eyes, hitting send after composing a message and picking out Kun’s contact number. “Okay, you know what? My mind has been everywhere the past couple of days; from designing a loft-type bachelor pad to a full sized home - that we haven’t even chose yet - resigning from my job and starting my own to save my female colleagues from pervs; cut me some slack, Jae. I can’t even start thinking about our wedding, although I really, really want to.”

He lightheartedly scoffs, approaching you on your seat at the bed and kneeling in front of you, “Baby, you know I was just teasing you. Don’t think about your company just yet, I’ll take care of that. How about we spend the rest of the morning planning for the wedding together and after lunch, we could browse through the catalogs of the Jung Properties’ real estate.”

“Sometimes I forget that your family is actually in real estate. You guys have too many business branches and different agencies.”

“We’re a conglomerate for a reason.” He gathers your hands into his and kisses your ring, “Soon, we’ll have a design agency under your name and ownership; which in retrospect, should be a smart business move. We have all these lands and properties, subdivisions and condominiums, yet we rely on other companies to build and design them.”

“So it all works out in the end?”

He hums in agreement, standing to his feet. “Well, should I get your laptop for you or do we work on our wedding in your office?”

Considering the fact that you’ll both not end up doing what needs to be done if you were to work on the bed, you chose the latter and he helps you stand up after you grab your phone. He holds your hand and swings them as you make your way to your office; grinning like a child and it’s so contagious that the same grin forms on your face.

In your office, he insists that you sit between his legs as he scoots further into your high back office chair to make room for you. Once comfortable, he rests his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist as you open your iMac.

“You wanted an intimate wedding, yeah?” He kisses your neck, “So around 50 guests or less?”

“Does it sound too little for you?”

“No. What matters to me is that we’re both present with our parents. I don’t mind a civil wedding, either.”

You whined, “Where’s the fun in that?”

His chuckle reverberates onto your back, “I suppose. So at a church? Hotel function room? A beach? The casino?”

“We’re not getting married at the casino.”

“Hey,” He tightens his hold around you for a second, “Lucky 7’s function rooms are quite nice.”

“Doesn’t change my mind on it.” You shrug, “I can’t choose between a garden wedding or a beach wedding; so you choose.”

On the monitor screen, you pull up the pinterest board you’ve compiled everything wedding related and Jaehyun hums in contemplation as you slowly scroll through them. “How about a garden wedding with a beach view?”

You twist around to look at him, “We can do that?”

“I’m sure it’s possible.” He presses his lips on your jaw, “We’ll make it possible.”

“Okay, well if it’s technically a garden wedding, then I think it’s fitting that the theme would be a little casual, but still romantic.” You type the keywords into the search bar and show him what you meant.

“Weddings like these are perfect for spring.” He comments, “Would you like to set a date for when the cherry blossoms have bloomed?”

“It would be nice, but that would mean we’d only have 6 months or so to plan this wedding - and that’s if we make it our priority. We’re both so busy.”

He leans back on the chair and massages your shoulders, “Babe, you’re worrying too much again. Remember, we might be busy; but my mom won’t be. She’ll gladly take care of this as an event planner. She’s been waiting to plan my wedding before I even learned to walk.”

You snort at him, shaking your head in disbelief, but move on with the planning; “Would you like to suggest a color scheme? Don’t you dare fucking say black just because it’s your favorite color.”

He lets out a laugh, “Gray, then. Something neutral.”

“Garden weddings typically have purples and pinks for color schemes; like pastel shades, or lavender and peaches.”

“I like that,” He interjects, “Peaches or coral.”

You look back at him for a moment, “Alright, then. Let’s pick out some photos and print them out.”

As you save photos you both agreed on and print them out, Jaehyun makes himself a little more comfortable by cuddling you and pulling you flush against him. As you wait for the rest of the photos to print out, you run your hands along his arms, feeling the little hairs on them.

He mumbled something incoherent on your neck, tickling you slightly.

“What was that?”

“I said,” He pulls away a little, but his lips are still brushing against your skin as he speaks, “I can’t wait to see you in a wedding dress.”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach at the image of you in a flowy white dress, hair styled to your liking, walking down the aisle where Jaehyun waited in his own white dress shirt and black pants.

“Do you have any requests on what my dress should look like?”

“Anything would look good on you.” He leans back and forces you to lie back on him, “It could be the sluttiest dress ever or the most matronly piece - I don’t care.”

You shift to face him, cupping his jaw and moving your thumb over his cheek. His own hand mimics your actions, lightly caressing your thigh. There’s a comforting silence that takes over; lulling you closer to each other until your lips are pressed and melding together. There wasn't any urgency or desperation, nor was it hasty and in passing.

He took his time with you, nibbling on your lower lip and steadily bringing the soft flesh between his. The printer made a sound that signaled its’ done it’s job and he pulls away but you hold him steady, whimpering a sound of disapproval that makes him chuckle.

He continues to kiss you, running his tongue along your lower lip to ask for entrance and you grant it. Teasingly, he slips the wet muscle into your mouth and sliding it along your own. He tasted like coffee: a good kind of bitter with a hint of sweetness, the kind you get addicted to.

Your hand falls to his chest and you could feel his pulse with your fingers, beating steadily with calm thumps.

Both of you pulled away for air, resting your foreheads together. He has a ghost of a smile on his lips and you give it a little peck to make it wider.

“I love you.”

You’ve exchanged these words so many times already yet it never lost its meaning. It still sent warmth spreading across your face, made your stomach giddy, and made your heart feel full. “I love you, too.”

Jaehyun leans back down, opting to kiss your cheek while combing his fingers through your hair.

After a few more minutes of basking in each other’s presence in absolute peace, you break off from each other to pin the printed photos onto the corkboard you had hanging in your home office. It was a nice way to spend the rest of the morning before ordering lunch; it felt a little recreational but also exciting. By the time the food Jaehyun had ordered arrive, the board was practically filled with your ideas for the wedding.

You discussed it some more over lunch and he managed to squeeze in a little talk about the honeymoon, chowing down on your meals on the couch.

“Venice? Greece?” He feeds you some of his pork dumplings and you hum at both the savory flavor and his suggestions, “I already know a place in Greece I’d like to take you to.”

“Wherever, Jaehyun,” You roll your eyes, scooting your body closer to him and draping your legs over his lap. “I’m sure I’ll love wherever you’ll take me.”

“A month?”

You snort at him, “That’s too long; two weeks max.”

He pouts down as he mixes his fried rice around in the take-out cup, letting out a little grumble, “Okay.”

Once finished with your lunch, he volunteers to clean up the mess and tells you to go into his office, instructing you to open his computer and open the new email from their real estate office. You give him a quick smooch on the cheek, thanking him for cleaning up, and made your way into his office.

You sat in front of his desk; turned on his iMac, typed in his password, and waited for his mail to load when you pulled the window up. You weren’t the type to snoop or pry through his business life, but your eyes glazed over his other emails. It as oddly satisfying how he kept it so organized; having different email addresses for work, personal life, and such. But one email handle caught your eye; it was for a Jeong Yoonoh. For spam mail, perhaps? A little voice at the back of your head told you to open it, but before you could even reach for the mouse; Jaehyun comes into the room with a glass of white wine in each hand.

“Have you opened it?” He asks, using the back of his hand to close the door.

“Not yet,” You quickly clicked on the email from Jung Properties and stood up to let him sit before making yourself comfortable on his lap like earlier. You took a sip from the wine he offered and almost spat it out when he opened up the digital brochure on the screen, “These are all mansions.”

He hums, “Yes, they are. Too big?”

“How many rooms do we need? It’s just going to be the two of us.”

“For now.” Jaehyun chuckles in your ear, playfully biting your lobe.

You gasp, perking up from your seat before twisting around to send him a glare. “Don’t.”

He continues to chuckle to himself, browsing through the houses while drinking from his glass. “Don’t what, baby? We’ve talked about children before.”

“We still don’t need all that space.” You argue, mumbling into your glass.

“Yes, we do. We’ll need it for our private offices, a few guest rooms, our children’s playroom…” Jaehyun’s free hand runs over your stomach, “Our playroom.”

“We’re not going to have a playroom if we’re going to have children.” You flinch away from him but he holds you against him, making you gasp.

“You mean, we’re going to have children because of the playroom.” His hand has now unabashedly slipped under your shirt to cup your boob.

You put your wine glass down on the table, afraid to drop it. “You’re insatiable.”

He merely laughs, following after you and setting his glass by yours. “Have you seen yourself, baby? How aren’t you turned on by your own reflection?”

He reaches past you to grab the wireless mouse and opens the photo booth app, your bodies being projected on the monitor. “Look at yourself.”

His hands push your shirt over your chest and pull your bra down; his brows giving away his annoyance towards the clothing article. He’s watching the screen with you, using it like a mirror to figure out where your nipples were to roll between his fingers.

You let out a mewl, arching into his touch and holding onto his knees. The bulge in his pants grew beneath you, slotting perfectly under your clothed mound.

“Do you want to see me fuck you, [Y/N]?” He peppers small kisses on your nape, still kneading your breasts with his palms.

“I-” Your voice hitches when you began to grind on him, “I want you to record it.”

Jaehyun stops, “What? You want to make a sex tape-”

“Yes,” You whined, stretching your arm out to start recording on his computer before removing your shirt and bra.

“You’re such a naughty girl, [Y/N], hm?” Jaehyun dryly laughs, pulling you back against him and maneuvering your wanton body so his mouth had access to your chest. He licks your pert nipple a couple of times and bites the patch of skin by it. His hand had jammed itself past the garter of both your leggings and underwear, drawing a circular pattern over your clit. “You want to make a sex tape, yeah? What if someone gets a hold of the file, huh?”

“Then they’d see how good you make me feel; how you fuck me so good.”

An approving croon vibrates from his chest, sitting back for a moment to watch you grind yourself on him and although he’d love to put music on to complete the lap dance, he would have to ask you for one some other time. He gently nudges you off him, tugging at your leggings. “Off.”

You push your pants down with your underwear and toss them aside while Jaehyun just pushes his down enough to free his erection. He guides you to sit on his cock after giving himself a few pumps with his fist. Once you were eased in, he forces your legs apart by draping them over his knees and spread his legs wider.

“Smile for the camera, baby.”

Dinner with your parents and Kun had been going smoothly; you have to admit that even Jaehyun seemed to be enjoying himself while listening to Kun’s med school stories. You were midway through finishing your glass of sangria when your mother comments about how Kun and his family suddenly moved back to China.

“Ah,” Kun swallows his food and brings the napkin from his lap to wipe his lips, “It was rushed, for some reason. All they told me was they were both offered better paying jobs back at home; it would have been churlish to decline it, especially since it guarantees full payment of my tuition.”

You caught Jaehyun mindlessly nodding to Kun. You bump your knee against him and once he looks at you, you pointedly question his actions with a cock of a brow.

“Hm? Oh,” He clears his throat, “I would have done the same if I were in your parents’ shoes. No matter how great the sacrifice to be made is.”

Kun’s eyes glanced at you; he seemed melancholic as he agrees with Jaehyun’s words. You don’t know how to feel about his expression, choosing to busy yourself by cutting up your steak into even smaller pieces.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you and [Y/N] meet?”

Jaehyun chuckles and you’re already rolling your eyes because you know how he likes to answer this question.

“She slapped me with her hair.”

Your parents join him in laughing as if they didn’t know the story already while Kun was nice enough to bite back his own laughter. You huff, “We were classmates during freshman year. He tapped my shoulder to ask something and I turned to face him too quickly so my hair smacked him, okay?”

“I see.” Kun grins, probably imagining the scenario in his head. “Peculiar way of falling in love.”

“Love at first smack.” Jaehyun jokes and you step on his foot under the table, “Ow!”

“I could have ignored you, you know.” You threatened as if it would make a difference.

It was his turn to roll his eyes, “I would have kept bothering you, then. It’s not like I could ask the next table for help.”

Your father turns to Kun, “How about you, Kun? Any lady in your life?”

Kun’s face flushes into a soft pink, “No. I’m too focused on school and work. It would also feel weird to have a girlfriend while my specialization involves putting my hands between another woman’s legs.”

“How did you even end up in obstetrics?” You stab one of the steak pieces and bring it to your mouth, remembering how Kun got shy whenever you were in a promiscuous position while making out. Now he had to work with vaginas.

“My cousin passed away because of childbirth.” He solemnly admits, “It was a high-risk pregnancy and there weren’t any obstetricians in our hometown that specialized in it, so we lost both her and the baby.”

“My god,” Your mother gasps, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“It was years ago. She acted as an older sister to me, so losing her really left a mark. She’s the reason why I took up obstetrics. I plan to go back home to my country in a few years and set up a clinic there.”

You’re chewing slowly, trying to remember if he had ever mentioned to you about his cousin. You hear your name and you blink up at Kun, who was looking at you with curiosity. Swallowing, you cough a little, “What was that?”

He smiles, “You’re an interior designer, right? Doyoung mentioned about you working at a firm near the hospital.”

“I am and I was.” You wash down your food with a swig of water, “I quit my job a few days ago and I’ll be starting my own.”

“Soon.” Jaehyun quips, “Very soon.”

“That’s amazing.” Kun nods, “My dad had always wondered how that worked out for you.

You feel yourself blanching at the memory of his father the last time you saw them, “Your dad?”

“My grandfather, his dad, was an architect so he worked closely with interior designers.”

“Oh.” You lick your lips, trying to remain passive. Unable to shake the thought that if his grandfather was an architect, why were his parents so against you and your career choices?

“How are your parents, by the way? Did they move back here with you?” Your father inquires, reminding you that he and Kun’s father used to drink together with Doyoung’s dad.

“They didn’t move back with me, but they planning to visit for a few days next month or so. We should have dinner again with them.” He suggests and your parents express their enthusiasm towards him, “However, my mother…”

You peer up a him through your lashes when his voice trails off.

“She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s a year ago. But don’t get me wrong! She’s doing wonderful, the symptoms are there; barely noticeable, really. She’s receiving therapy back at home and her lifestyle has completely changed for the better.”

You feel the urge to cry, remembering your own grandmother.

“That’s good to hear.” You’re grateful you mom reaches over to squeeze his hand before you could, “Although truly unfortunate; is it genetic?”

“I hope not.” Kun warily smiles, “I’m cutting back on a lot of potential vices, I keep follow a strict diet and workout routine.”

“No wonder you’ve lost weight.” You comment in an attempt to turn the somber mood around , finishing off your meal and putting your cutlery down. “I assumed it was from the all-nighters brought by med school.”

Kun chuckles, bringing out the dimples he had - dimples you remember loving. “Mayhaps that, too.”

Dinner shortly ends after sharing a small platter of seasonal fruits and you’re seeing your parents off as they enter their car. “Drive safe, dad. I love you guys.” You kiss your mom’s cheek through the open car window give a flying kiss to your dad.

“We love you, too, [Y/N]. You and Jaehyun drive home safely as well, okay?”

You pull away and wave at them, watching your dad put the car in reverse and drive off after nodding at you. Looking back to where you left Jaehyun and Kun, you feel uneasy at how they were conversing while sneaking glances at you. When you walk back to them, they both smile at you. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Kun was just telling me about that one time in high school-” Jaehyun sniggers and you gasp, smacking Kun’s arm out of habit.

“What did you tell him?!”

Kun yelps, reeling back and grabbing his arm. “I didn’t say anything!”

Jaehyun scoffs, “I was joking! He didn’t tell me anything… yet.”

You huffed, backhanding Jaehyun’s chest and he, too, cries softly in pain.

“Okay! I was just asking Kun if he could be your obstetrician - especially if there are complications in your pregnancy.” Jaehyun massages his chest with a pout, “I’d prefer having someone we both trust than just someone who’s just good at their job; so I asked Kun.”

“And I’d love to.” Kun adds, “I get to hold my nieces and nephews before Doyoung.”

You tittered at them, rolling your eyes. “It’s getting late.”

“Ah,” Kun nods to your observations, “I have an early shift tomorrow. Thanks for dinner. It was great seeing you again, [Y/N], and it was great meeting you!”

Jaehyun grins as he shakes the hand Kun offers to him, “You, too. We should do this again next time; you can tell me everything embarrassing [Y/N] did back in high school.”

You slap his shoulder, but he merely laughs with Kun.

“I’d love to! We should invite Doyoung, too.”

After a few more pleasantries, you and Jaehyun see Kun off as he gets into his car and drives away. Jaehyun opens your side of the car door for you and shuts it once you were seated inside before rounding to enter the driver’s side. While he starts the car, you put your seatbelt on and watch him with pursed lips.

He notices after he secures his own seatbelt, leaning over the center console to kiss you. He asks, “Are you okay?”

“Did you like Kun?”

Jaehyun laughs, sitting back properly to start driving. “Yeah. He’s a good man; family-oriented, a loving son... So, you like guys with dimples?”

“Shut up! I swear, that’s just a coincidence.” You crossed your arms, “So you mean everything you said? About meeting up with him and all?”

“Yes, [Y/N], I actually genuinely like the guy.” He rolls his eyes, but his voice drops into a murmur, “I understand why he’s your first love… he’d be a better option than-”

You put your hand over his while it gripped the gear stick to stop him from talking, “But I don’t love him anymore, you know that right? You can only call it first love because it ended. There’s only you for me now and forever.”

He smiles, moving his hand so he could bring yours up to his lips while keeping his attention on the road. “I know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You watch him concentrate on driving for a few minutes, relieved at how the night turned out. You were expecting Jaehyun to be petty or at least sulky; but he initiated and held conversations with Kun - more than you did - as if they were the ones rekindling a friendship. Pride and love blooms in your chest. Jaehyun really is doing his best in correcting his flaws. “By the way,”

“Hm?”

“You basically gave my ex access to my vagina.”

He sneers at you, “The only time he’ll actually have access is when it’s dilating and pushing a baby out; doubt he’d do anything else, babe.”

A grimace makes its way onto your face, albeit you agree with him. It felt a little awkward thinking about it now, but you’re sure you’ll be in too much pain from going through labor to even care about having Kun deal with your ‘down under'.

“You have plans tomorrow, right? IKEA with Yuta and Kyungwon?”

“Yeah, after lunch.”

“Oh, good.” Jaehyun hums, “Would you like to go to therapy with me tomorrow morning?”

You snap your head towards him, “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, “Unless you want some other day; that’s fine, too.”

“No, I’d like to go. I can’t wait.” You affirm, letting your thoughts drift off to wonder what it would be like to attend Jaehyun’s therapy with him. You knew he had a mental disorder, but he wasn’t comfortable telling you what it was back then so you never really pressed him. It never really bothered you that you didn’t know what exact disorder he had because he seemed to be getting a better control of it. But now the topic is resurfacing and you can’t help but ponder on it. Will knowing what it is have an impact on your relationship?

Trepidation stirs within you; if it does have an impact, then how badly will it affect you? You’re trying to convince yourself that nothing will change your perspective of Jaehyun. This man has been trying so hard to change for you; trying so hard to be an open book to you like you are to him. The least you could do is learn and understand his flaws, right?

a/n: yay for update. buT WAIT !! the next part is the much awaited therapy session!! i’ll let you guys send in some questions you’d like to be tackled during the therapy session (pls dont send these with an open forum ask)

next: part 7

~ buy me a peach? but why?

#nct smut #devoted au #jaehyun smut

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lgcyunhyeong · 5 years ago

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hey there!! this is my first time in lgc and i’m super excited to be here! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while and i’m glad i finally mustered up the nerve to join. this is cho yunhyeong, 21, works part time at his local gs25. he’s been a trainee for little over a year and is hoping to eventually debut in a band! he plays the bass and sings a little bit, and he also wants to get into songwriting and composition eventually. he’s generally kind of a weird kid--super spacey, often distracted, your local space nerd--but he’s a good egg in spite of that. compared to some of the other trainees, he’s pretty aimless and chill, but he does genuinely love music and performing, so...!

you can find some more info about him on his about and background pages but they’re kind of messy so i’ll drop some quick facts about yunhyeong under the cut, along with some connection/plot ideas to hopefully kickstart things! if you’d like to plot, please hit like on this post and i’ll hop into your ims! i also have a discord if you prefer to plot there - just ask me for my username ♡

quick facts:

born and brought up in seoul - very local, most comfortable in his neighbourhood, the most exciting vacation he ever took was to busan (and it was #lit). his parents own the best hot pot restaurant in seoul, and yeah he’s biased but that doesn’t mean it’s not true!

has an older brother currently in law school and their relationship is best described as ‘i tolerate you’. they’re complete opposites - his brother is super driven and loud and outgoing while yunhyeong is not so they’ve never really clicked beyond the fact that they are siblings and therefore are obligated to love each other

was the quiet kid growing up, had a very chill and subdued personality. didn’t really speak unless spoken too, didn’t play much with others. most of the time he kept to himself and focused on his hyperfixations - first, it was dinosaurs, and then space! and he’s been stuck with space ever since

his mom put him in music lessons when he was younger in hopes that a relatable hobby might help him make friends?? also that it’d work as a conversation starter but it didn’t because yunhyeong remained as weird and solitary as ever! he did fall in love with music as a result though

in high school he decided to branch out and make friends by starting a band - new age sexy aliens or NASA for short. his recruitment process was like: whoever shows up to join is part of the band! it worked out for the best since he and the band members got really close

they started off playing covers but then branched out into their own original music (yunhyeong helped write some of their lyrics). most of their songs used heavy space imagery and they were really pretty but also low key about aliens

yunhyeong loves aliens

nasa had a pretty dedicated fanbase both online and in their school! did well, were thriving, living their best lives and playing hella gigs, and then their lead singer got scouted by an entertainment company. it was the beginning of the end for them; the rest of the members went their own ways as well and the band officially disbanded in 2018 rip

yunhyeong started to busk on/off since he wasn’t attending university and didn’t really know what the heck else he wanted to do with his life outside of the band, and that’s where he got scouted by legacy! joined the company because like... well... why would he not...

wants to debut in a band if he can... and focus on songwriting and music composition as a secondary career path. he isn’t like... super motivated though? has always had issues with setting goals and being ambitious... he’s more like, eh, i’m just gonna go where life takes me!

personality wise, he’s still a pretty quiet kid unless you get him talking about one of his interests, in which case he will never shut up EVER. he gets distracted easily and will sometimes zone out when you’re talking to him but has a good memory of like, the most random shit you wouldn’t expect him to recall

easygoing as hell, rarely gets riled up over anything. on the flip side, he doesn’t really come across as sincere (even though he almost always is!) in his emotions because people are like... hm... just feels fake. tries to stay as positive as he can and doesn’t dwell on stuff that might upset him. sometimes people think he’s shallow! but he has #deepthoughts. he just doesn’t share them

unmotivated when it comes to most things! has no goals, no ambition, doesn’t care much for academia or being forced to like, conform to things. his mom calls him a free spirit but she’s probably just making excuses for him. it’s more like he’s stuck in some sort of limbo?? scared of growing up but scared of being left behind. it’s complicated

he’s really a sweet guy though. a little odd - he’s not the best at showing affection and sometimes he can be really... strange? offbeat? you never know what the fuck is going on in his head. but he’s a Human Being Just Like You (sadly) and simply trying his best to live every day

connection/plot ideas:

he didn’t really have many friends growing up, but still - childhood friends! maybe you were the exception. maybe you didn’t mind that he was awkward and quiet and a little weird! maybe you tripped and fell on the playground and he gave you a star-patterned purple band aid and you decided you would die for him. who knows!

friends in general who understand him and look @ him with fond exasperation... must be able to tolerate his antics. liking aliens is a bonus. jk, but he’s a sweet guy who loves his friends! please be kind to him

fans of his former band, nasa (or antis?). he was the bassist and a sub vocal and didn’t stand out too much compared to some of the other guys, but he always did the intros and he’ll happily talk about nasa all day! discuss the symbolism of their songs with him

exes? i genuinely cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want to date him but i feel like he’s had at least (1) relationship before... maybe you took a chance and after you started dating you were like, god, i’m running away

crushes, whether one-sided on his part or your part or reciprocated but you don’t know it yet?? he’s holding out for his alien bae but maybe you don’t know that and just think he’s like, this quiet mysterious pretty boy. maybe he thinks you’re cool for a human!

fellow trainees who can play instruments... yunhyeong needs someone to #jam with because playing the bass alone is kind of lonely (and since he’d like to eventually get on the band track, making some connections would be cool)

fellow trainees in general, especially ones in his training group!! he’s not as hungry for debut or as ambitious as some which means he’s a) non-threatening and b) chill to hang with. you could be into that or it could absolutely infuriate you since he doesn’t seem to be taking things seriously! maybe you think he doesn’t deserve to be here

met online on an alien enthusiast forum and you talk almost every single day about various theories and moves and all that kind of stuff but you’ve never met irl! and yunhyeong really wants to meet you in person!

idk bully him

you’re buying a bunch of weird shit from the convenience store where yunhyeong works at like 2 am and he has so many questions and won’t let you pay and leave until you answer them

alternatively, you find him sleeping on the job and you want to wake him up but the moment you touch his arm, he makes this high pitched screeching noise and you fall over and take an entire shelf of candy down with you

you invite yunhyeong out for drinks but he took one sip of soju and he’s a mess... you didn’t sign up to take care of a giant drunken baby but guess what! you will be! if he tries to kiss you, dodge him

you always bum free meals from yunhyeong’s parents’ restaurant because his parents think you’re his best friend. tbh you actually don’t really like him but he doesn’t realize it so he never bothers correcting his parents either!

you didn’t realize yunhyeong was allergic to cats and dogs and you brought your cat/dog near him and oh my god he is having the UGLIEST allergic reaction

yunhyeong can’t swim. you push him into a pool as a joke. chaos ensues

you play various video games together and yunhyeong is really good but he’s more interested in stardew valley than in league of legends and you keep pestering him to play with you dammit i need you on my team

you slipped a love letter under his door for one of his roommates but yunhyeong thought it was for him and now he keeps (kindly) rejecting you whenever you see him and you don’t even know how to react

Oh No We Are Trapped In This Room And The Power Went Out And I Am Scared Of The Dark Please Hold My Hand For Science

yunhyeong loves smoothies and one day you catch him trying to blend a slice of pepperoni pizza into a smoothie because he is, and i quote, “tired of chewing”

IDK ALL THESE IDEAS ARE BAD BUT PLEASE PLOT WITH ME ANYWAY

#lgc:intro #( * out of ufos ! )#( why did i write so much )#( this post is long and ugly )#( ummmm i'm sorry but i'm excited to be here!! )#( pls plot with my weird dumb baby )

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09yards · 5 years ago

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Don’t Call Me Angel / NCT secret agent au | read on ao3 here

pairings: Kun x Ten, Johnny x Taeyong, Doyoung x Jaehyun, Mark x Donghyuck, Lucas x Renjun and small Hendery x Yangyang

note: I changed the pairings from the original ones slightly and apologies for that but I think the story will work a lot better now. Anyways, enjoy (:

“I do not need some six-foot, macho-man, babysitter, Kun. I think I’ve made it perfectly clear I can take care of myself and we both know I work better alone.”

“Ten, when I came over last night I found you crying on the sofa with an almost empty bottle of expensive white wine over Grey’s Anatomy. You cannot take care of yourself.”

“Derek died Kun, gone , dead , never coming back! He left Meredith alone, and she’s pregnant! Think of the babies! Anyone with a heart would find that upsetting.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have a heart then,” Kun tisked, “And seriously, what is your obsession with babies? Can you move on from that soon—you keep mentioning them around Taeyong and he keeps whining about how cute they are too. Babies are weird, squishy things, they are not cute . They cry and scream and you can’t just leave them to their own devices. It’s so irritating .”

“Jesus, you’re such a bitch. You’re my best friend and I love you but god Kun, you can be so mean . But we’re getting off topic—I don’t need a damn bodyguard!”

“He’s not some bodyguard or babysitter Ten, he’s going to be your partner —your equal, if you will.” Kun stood up from his seat and walked around his desk to lean against it, gaze firm and business face on. “The two of you will be working together . He happens to be extremely skilled in the combat side of things and yes, he is much taller than you and appearance-wise he seems more fitting to the role. And his looks match your work a little more than yours do. He’s ex-military, his file says a Navy SEAL if I recall correctly. He will make sure you stay out of trouble while you charm and flirt your way through missions. He will allow me to guarantee—or at least somewhat reassure—your safety.”

“I sincerely apologise that I’m disrupting your usual conduct Ten, but I won’t apologise for wanting to make sure you’re safe. After what happened with Sicheng, neither me nor Taeyong are willing to take any risks when it comes to the safety of our agents. Even Doyoung is being assigned a partner for his field work. Taeyong is letting him know later, and so I give it—” Kun paused to give a quick glance to his watch and then the clock ticking against the wall. “—about forty minutes until the coffee table in the reception is smashed into several hundred thousand pieces, again . Remind me to ask Jungwoo to order a new one when we’re finished.”

Ten let out a soft chuckle, “I’m sorry too, by the way.” Ten took a deep breath, his voice was much quieter than normal, almost as if he was embarrassed. “I get where you’re coming from, I’m just not used to working with any other people aside from Doyoungie or Hendery in my ear, let alone working with anyone in the flesh. The only person I ever had as a partner was you, way back when we were still rookies.” Kun flashed him a small smile in return, an acknowledgement of some sorts of their rookie days. The days before Kun left.

“It’s going to be an adjustment, but I think it’s a good thing. Frankly, even though you probably won’t see it at first, you and Youngho will get along great. He’s coming from a placement in Berlin. He was originally part of the European branch actually, and he’s also bringing three other agents with him—Jung Yoonoh, Lee Donghyuck and Liu Yangyang. I’m not sure what code names they’re being assigned as of yet. Youngho is fluent in both Korean and English, and apparently his Mandarin isn’t terrible so you can pick what you like but keep in mind who your in-ear is. Don’t speak in a language they don't understand. That will remain the rule.”

“You mean if my in-ear is, for some reason, not Hendery or even Mark. You do know that there’s been only one case out of the four hundred and ninety-six missions I’ve worked where my in-ear hasn’t been one of them? And while we’re on that, please never assign Jeno to me again—he was awful but , in all fairness, I think he was just scared of telling me what to do.” Kun rolled his eyes at the fact Ten has memorised his exact number of missions and watches as Ten had visibly relaxed once again, kicking his feet up onto the arm of the sofa he was lounging on. His eyes widened as he tried to remember the information Kun had told him. “Wait, European? Kun did you finally find me the hot British agent of my dreams? I’m ready for my romancing. Okay, that’s a lie, but who knows.” He shrugged.

“No. I don’t know the logistics of how he ended up in Europe but he’s American, from Chicago—the place that, according to him and a quick google search, has really good pizza and is always windy. I wasn’t really interested in his life story, I was more interested in his stats on his transfer application. If it’s any consolation, Irene and Seulgi swear by him—gave him glowing references from their time in Paris and said he’s easy on the eyes, whatever that means.”

“Ah, Kun dearest ,” his voice dripping with sarcasm at the added endearment, “How would you rate his attractiveness?”

“I don’t know, Ten, I don’t pay attention to these things. Besides, I’ve yet to meet him in the flesh. I’ve only seen the pictures from his profile that were provided.”

“Bullshit! Just because you’re all work-focussed and don’t spend time on tinder doesn’t mean you can’t objectively determine if someone is attractive or not. What do our years of friendship get me if you can’t even tell me whether or not he’s ‘future partner with mutually beneficial relations material?’”

The apples of Kun’s cheeks turned rosy at that, a light blush washing over him as he visibly stiffened slightly. Ten always found it amusing that even with their years of friendship and his own distinct lack of a filter, when it came to most discussions—particularly his nonchalant approach to sex and the attractiveness of someone—Kun would flush instantly like you’d just caught him with his pants down. Unfortunately, Ten knew exactly how Kun reacted to being seen with his pants down, a price that comes with having been friends for many years and Ten’s old habit of showing up at Kun’s apartment unannounced. It’s safe to say Ten avoided him for several weeks after the incident, and now he always makes sure to knock or text.

“He—” Kun faltered, “—I guess, objectively speaking of course, I might agree that he’s attractive. Although he seems like a romantic so don’t get your hopes up. God , I need a drink before I talk about this with you and the tantrum Doyoung is going to throw—oh dear.”

“No worries, I can help you with that!” Ten jumped up from his seat, walking over to the large bookshelf filling the length of one of the walls of Kun’s office. He rummaged behind several boxes of files before yelling, “Found it!” and returning with a bottle of soju. Kun doesn’t want to know how or when it ended up in his office, but Ten seems to have gained psychic abilities because he counters that, “It’s a need-to-know basis and you don’t need to know. But you never know when you might need a bottle. It’s handy to keep one around.”

“Have you got glasses hidden somewhere too?”

“’Fraid not. We do, however, have mugs so that’ll do. Shot glasses are a pain anyway. You have to keep refilling them and with a mug you don’t.” Ten promptly poured the soju, filling the two mugs and whispering “It’s our little secret,” before sitting down once again (with his feet up on the arm rest again, Kun couldn’t help sneer a little—he was a fan of the no shoes on the furniture policy, but Ten doesn’t agree to it at home, so why would Kun expect him to at the office?).

“Stop glaring at me, Kun. I’m not putting my feet down. Now , finish what you were saying about my partner .”

“I really don’t know much else about him,” Kun sighed, “he requested that two of the other agents also received a transfer and the third was given a non-negotiable transfer. He got into some trouble while in Berlin so they had to pull him immediately, but even I wasn’t given the details. I do know that he speaks Mandarin, so you can have someone else to practice with when you feel like, and I’m sure Xiaojun will be roping him into the Chinese-only nights in no time.”

“Kun, you’re supposed to be the source of all information. How do you know so little? Oh quit it, I know you only know what the profile tells you blah blah blah.”

“You can tease Doyoung about this partner, if that makes you feel any better. I don’t know much about him either but he’s another ex-military poster boy, Yoonoh could pass as a high-end model too. According to Seulgi they call him ‘everyone’s first love’. He has dimples that are apparently ‘ to die for ’ and if the photos on his profile are anything to go by, he has some rather... prominent abs. Taeyong described them as washboard,” when Kun had asked him to explain, Taeyong had patted the younger’s head and told him that it was late and he was going to head home. “I practically had to wipe the drool off of his face after he spent far too long looking at the pictures attached to the profile. Who even attaches multiple shirtless pictures to their profile? We only need one for identification, not multiple for Taeyong to fawn over. Jesus , pass the bottle, would you?”

“Kun it’s not even 5 pm, I think one mug of soju is enough daytime drinking while at work, especially if the new people are arriving today.”

“Need I remind you that I’m your superior, pass the bottle so I can drown out that picture. He kept making jokes about how I never date. I was young and hot once you know? I had fun, I got around, I wasn’t old and boring like I am now.”

“Kun I do not need or want to know how your sex life has deteriorated. I lived next-door to you in college—that’s all I need to know. You’ll find someone when you’re ready. Who knows, maybe you’ve already met them.”

“Have you thought about my offer to live with me or on-base yet? I don’t like the thought of you living alone… not after everything.”

Ten raised his eyebrow at the comment. “I haven’t yet but I’ll think about it. Now , tell me about Yoonoh.”

“The only other thing I was told is that he’s supposedly quite the charmer and sweet talker, however he’s always declined any advances made towards him according to Irene. He seems to have a naturally flirtatious personality, though.”

“Ahh, brilliant! Poor Doie is going to fall in love with him so quickly, I can’t wait . I hope Yoonoh’s going to flirt with him. He isn’t going to have a clue what to do.”

“What you’re saying would sound sympathetic or supportive coming from anyone else's mouth, but from yours it just sounds downright sadistic.”

If Kun hadn’t known Ten as long as he had, the eerie smile Ten is currently adorning would’ve been alarming but alas, once you’d known someone long enough, and you’d risked death together and saved one another’s lives more than a handful of times, and a large part of your job involves killing other people, it takes a lot to creep Kun out these days.

“Hey, your forty minutes are up now and no smashed coffee table yet—“

As if someone of a higher power was listening in, the sound of glass shattering echoed through the ground floor of the building along with several screeches from whoever was milling around at the time. This wouldn’t be the last time Doyoung would throw whatever piece of furniture he could get his hands on off the balcony, launching it to the floor below and consistently nailing the coffee table in particular.

“As you were saying Ten?”

Ten pouted and mumbled, “Never mind.”

There was a sheepish knock on the door and Kun yelled a quick come in as a response.

“Sorry to bother you guys, just thought I’d let you know, Kun, but I’m putting the order for a new coffee table in now and a new office chair. Is there anything else you need?”

“No that’s all, thanks Jungwoo.”

“Wait? An office chair too?” Ten sat up a little, waiting for a response.

“Yes, Ten,” Jungwoo sighed, “That’s what Doyoung threw off the balcony—may need to bring a contractor in to fix the dent in the floor, but I think a new table will cover it enough that it doesn’t need to be done anytime soon.”

“I forgot you’ve never actually witnessed Doyoung throwing various belongings off the balcony. The money he costs me is ridiculous.”

“I’ll leave the two of you to it. I doubt it’ll be long before they make their way down. You know what Doyoung’s like.”

“No worries, thanks Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo had only just made it back to his desk where Xiaojun was waiting with a fresh cup of coffee when Doyoung flung Kun’s office door open, bypassing the now sheepish looking Jungwoo and closely followed by an exasperated looking Taeyong.

“For the last time, Taeyong, no! It’s not happening! I work alone, alone ! Do I need to spell it out for you? It’s a five-letter word, of which the meaning is to be by oneself, or shall we take the definition from the Oxford Dictionary where they define alone to be: one, without any other people or two, without the help of other people or things.” Doyoung took a second to catch his breath in between sentences, “I don’t need someone looking out for me, I look out for me. I’m the quartermaster, I head up our entire technology department.”

He jabbed a finger in Taeyong’s direction, “I’m regarded as one of the best amongst all the branches of NCT. Yes, I hacked my profile again to look. You really should get someone to make it less easy—oh wait, you can’t because I’m the only one who can because it’s my job. I am not some newbie field agent who doesn’t know how to reload a handgun in less than ten seconds. You made me go through the training just like everyone else, I can tell you that I did not engage in hand to hand combat on a daily basis with Lucas for shits and giggles. No one trains with Lucas for fun aside from Renjun but its Renjun. That kid scares me, he may be pint-sized but if Ten has taught me anything, the short ones can bite and they usually have high pain thresholds but not-so high patience and I’m not ready to die just yet. Honestly, I’m getting a tad concerned at the number of people we employ that appear very cute but just happen to be capable of snapping your neck or blowing your head off.”

“Are you done yet?” Taeyong sighed, impatiently tapping his foot against the floor. He was fully aware that Doyoung wasn’t actually angry, he wasn’t death glaring either Taeyong or Kun, and aside from the coffee table no major damage had been caused. It was typical Doyoung, whine until someone gives in.

“No. No, I am not finished. Thank you, Taeyong.”

“Oh my, please continue, Doyoung. Everyone here wants to hear your pathetic complaints.” Ten’s trademark sarcasm dripping from every word.

“Oh Ten, don’t act like you weren’t whining to Kun about this less than an hour ago.”

“At least I haven’t been bitching to Taeyong for an hour and thrown a fucking chair. You can be so dramatic Doyoungie.”

“Dramatic? Me? Have you met yourself?”

“Both of you, be quiet!” It was rare of Kun to yell at someone, to be angry with them—let alone full-fledged shouting in the confines of his office. “Taeyong, please may you check with Jungwoo on when the new agents will be here? Ten and Doyoung can join the meeting as well if they stop insisting on acting like children . Apparently, they seem to have forgotten that we may all be friends here, but while we’re at work, I am their superior and what I say is final.”

“Sorry to interrupt again Kun, but the new agents are here. Xiaojun is with them in the conference room and asked me to get you as soon as possible. He seems to find them rather intimidating.”

“Right, nevermind Taeyong and thank you Jungwoo, we’ll be right there. You and Xiaojun can feel free to head home. I’ll need just one of you to round up whoever’s still hovering and point them in the direction of the dorms—I don’t want to be interrupted when we give them the tour. Have a nice evening, and I will see you tomorrow.”

“Will do, thank you. I’ll be in for the conference with Japan first thing in the morning. See you then!” With a meek half-smile, he hurried out of the office once again. Jungwoo wasn’t a stranger to the tension of the office, so he knew very well that Kun rarely shouted, and he wasn’t for testing his patience.

“Okay then. Do you two still want to act like toddlers with your whining? Or can we all go and introduce ourselves to the new agents with the manners and respect we would expect to receive from anyone else?”

“Yes, Kun. Sorry, Kun.” They both mumbled simultaneously, standing up and straightening their clothes.

“Ready, Yong?”

“After you.”

#nct #dojae #jaedo #markhyuck #johnyong #kunten #markhyuck fic #luren #yuren #yukren #rencas #i dont know #henyang #nct fic #nct 127 #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct au

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kim-seungmine · 6 years ago

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stay inside the hourglass

title: stay inside the hourglass

characters: reader x felix of stray kids

genre: slice-of-life (growing up is hard y’all), romance, gap year

warnings: mentions of drinking, kind of felix-centric, this has the ugliest title ever, sometimes dialog-heavy

word count: 4475 words

summary: time is about to eat him alive and felix wonders if it’s better to leave things unsaid.

a/n: so here it is, the story based on chronosaurus and 19. i honestly don’t know if it’s good enough because i’m not in my best condition now but i hope you can relate and find comfort (and motivation!)

Seoul, D-90

“What is this?”

“Your birthday present.”

“I said I didn’t want presents, did I?”

“You did.”

“So why bother—”

“So you’ll always remember me. The one who still gave you presents no matter how many times you said no.”

Felix chuckled, staring at the small white box you forced him to take. He opened it, taking out a keyring you specially made for him. He could guess the meaning behind each pendant; a star because you adored his constellation-like freckles, a mosquito because his only talent that you acknowledged was his ability to imitate mosquito noises, a four-leaf clover because his name literally meant luck.

The last pendant, however, was something he didn’t expect. An hourglass. He stared at it long, racking his brain so he didn’t have to ask you what it meant. You were going to nag at him for hours for not getting it right and he hated it.

That, and he just didn’t want to disappoint you.

“What does this one mean?”

He didn’t want to disappoint you, but he also really had no idea. You smiled, watching the sand slowly trickled to the lower part of the chamber. “I’ll tell you later,” you chirped before flicking his forehead. “Happy birthday, Lee Yongbok.”

Felix would’ve flipped if it was anyone else who hurt him and called him Yongbok. But this was you, one of his very few true friends in Seoul, and he would keep you by his side for a lifetime, even though he knew that time would eventually eat him alive before he could tell you how much you meant to him.

“Okay,” he replied, already used to you and your so-called mysteriousness. He opened his drawer to take out his airpods case. You instantly pouted as he attached your keyring to it while he just grinned at you. “You really know how to disappoint me,” you mumbled.

“Everyone knows you only use your Beats earphones, dipshit. You can’t fool me!”

Felix didn’t know which part of “I don’t wanna celebrate my birthday this year” that his friends failed to understand, but there was nothing he could do when Seo Changbin dragged him out of their shared apartment later that day, telling him that everyone threw him a party.

“You don’t even need to change, you’re already wearing black.”

“There’s a dresscode?” Felix snarked. “Even I didn’t know about that.”

Changbin sighed as they stopped in front of Bang Chan’s apartment, which was only 2 floors above theirs. Lee Minho opened the door, the glint in his eyes indicated that he was already drunk. He grinned, patting Felix’s back before smooching his left cheek. Changbin quickly maneuvered his way in and abandoned his housemate who was now struggling to get out of Minho’s tight embrace. “Are you sad now that you’re 20?” he slurred. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Look at me!” Felix removed Minho’s arms from his shoulders, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he slowly lost consciousness.

Walking to the living room, Felix finally realized what kind of party his friends threw for him. Black balloons were sloppily glued to Chan’s gray curtain, most of them already scattered on the floor. The host had covered his white sofa with a black cloth and exchanged his usual glass table with black wooden table. Someone had written “HAPPY MOURNDAY FELIX!” on the whiteboard pinned on the wall. He assumed it was you, since it was written with a bright red marker instead of the blue ones that Chan owned.

His eyes caught a glimpse of empty boxes of pizza and bottles of soju on the floor, causing him to scoff. His friends threw him a party but didn’t even wait for him to come before actually starting the party. “Hey Felix!” Chan yelled, smiling from ear to ear from the other side of the living room. Felix gave him a distracted wave since he finally saw you, playing Charades with Hwang Hyunjin while sitting on the countertop.

“O—oh! I know this one!” you yelled, biting your lips in frustration. “Come on Y/N we played this set before!” Hyunjin groaned, proceeding to give you more hints. Felix chuckled, knowing how much you hated losing to Hyunjin.

“Aladdin!” Felix quipped, laughing as you whipped your head at him in utter despair. “Don’t be so proud.” You punched his stomach playfully. “This just means you spend too much time watching cartoons.”

Felix placed his hand around your waist loosely, unable to contain his amusement at your rambles. He swore to God he had tried to keep his distance from you, to draw a straight line between best friends and something more. It never worked—especially when you didn’t push him away—but maybe Felix never tried hard enough, and he hated himself for that. Hyunjin gave him the look, which roughly translated to, “Stop being a dick and just confess!”

“Felix, play with Y/N. We gotta prepare your cake,” Hyunjin announced, winking at the birthday boy before dashing to the balcony, where Kim Seungmin was taking photos of the cake with his new Canon camera.

“You have really nice friends,” you commented, shaking your phone so it showed a new word. Felix bit an imaginary apple before collapsing on the floor, his eyeballs rolled to the back of his eyes. “Snow White didn’t pass out like that, you’re so dramatic,” you said, smiling as he pretended to offer you the poisoned apple.

“So did you join the photography club?” he asked. You furrowed your brows, trying to understand what he was acting out. “Tiana?” you murmured. He nodded, signaling at you to move on to the next question. “Well,” you started. “I did. Seungmin was very persuasive.”

Felix darted his eyes to the drunken Minho who was fast asleep on the couch. “Did you tell your parents yet?” Your voice was barely a whisper, breaking Felix’s heart into pieces. This was the conversation he dreaded to have; he wanted to enjoy his last few months in Seoul without thinking that he wouldn’t meet you ever again.

“I did,” he answered, glancing at the word Peter Pan written on your phone screen. “Mum said no, but my Dad said he’d consider.”

“When are you leaving?” You no longer held your phone up, shoving it back to your jeans pocket instead.

“In three months.”

You huffed, resting your head on his shoulder. “Is this why you’ve been so gloomy these days?” you pointed out. Felix rested his head on top of yours, the familiar warmth of your body calmed his senses. “Who knows I’d get so attached to dumbasses like you guys?” he attempted to joke.

Last year, all Felix wanted was to figure out what his passion was and explore Korea. His parents were ecstatic because their son finally showed interest in his home country and let him take a gap year, with a condition that he’d enroll in university as soon as he returned to Sydney. He stayed with his aunt, accidentally met Chan at a restaurant where he struggled to order kimchi fried rice with his super limited Korean, and then he introduced him to all his close friends—including you.

Fast forward to a year later, Felix now lived with Changbin who desperately needed a housemate, got a part-time job at Ediya Coffee, discovered a burning passion in dancing, had 8 annoying brothers, and was helplessly in love with you.

“What did you tell them?” you said quickly, as if wanting to stop yourself. Felix pulled away to look into your eyes that he already got used to seeing at least 10 hours a day. “I told them I want to stay here and major in dance.”

“You did?”

“What did you expect me to say?”

“Well—”

“HAPPY MOURNDAY FELIX!!!!”

Chan carried the black cake (Felix wasn’t sure if it was edible) while the others sang for him. “Blow the candles! We don’t give a shit whether you want to do it or not, you have to blow candles on your birthday!” Han Jisung said. Seungmin snapped a photo as Felix closed his eyes to blow the colorful candles.

“Thanks guys, although I specifically said not to do anything today.”

“Y/N wanted to throw you a party, and they specifically said not to care about anything you said.”

You shrugged. “This isn’t even a birthday party, this is a funeral.”

“Goodbye 19!” Seungmin fake-wailed, dunking Felix’s face into the cake. The others clapped, smearing each other’s faces with whipped cream. You giggled, trying to run away but Felix caught you by the waist before squishing your cheeks with his palms.

“Ah, you’re back!” you exclaimed, looking into his eyes in a way that always made his heart stopped for a while. Felix wondered if you ever looked at anyone else the same way, but for now, he felt a bit reassured. You looked at him like he had stars in his eyes (in this case, his cheeks, but now they were all covered by whipped cream anyways), and at moments like this, Felix thought that maybe he wouldn’t lose you.

“I’m… back?”

You paused to step away from Changbin who wanted to ruin your face more before glancing back at him, still with that loving gaze Felix wanted to take a picture of and hang on his wall.

“The sparks,” you pointed at his eyes. “You’re happy again.”

The rest of the group turned to look at him better, and by the look on their faces, Felix knew they agreed with you.

Seoul, D-57

“Yongbok-ah, your Dad is calling!” Changbin shouted from the kitchen. Felix sighed, dragging his feet to where his phone was located. He didn’t need to answer the call to know what his father was going to say.

“Hi Dad.”

“Your Mum and I have talked. Are you serious with dancing?”

Changbin gave him a concerned look as Felix’s face hardened. “Yes,” he answered, firm and clear. “I have thought about everything, Dad. I want to dance. And I want to stay here.”

His father sighed on the other line, his Mum yelling something that sounded like, “That naïve boy knows nothing!”

“Have I ever disobeyed you before?” Felix argued. “I just want to do something that I love. That’s right, I was clueless when I first got here, but I’m not the same boy anymore. You guys can trust me.”

“I don’t know, son. You got good grades, why don’t you try challenging yourself?”

“Dancing is not easy, Dad.”

“We know that. Just, come home, okay? We’ll discuss this later.”

Felix let out a frustrated groan once the call ended. Changbin sat across him, opening a can of beer. “You know things won’t work out if you keep being like that, right?”

“Like what?”

“Like this. Snobbish and stubborn.”

Felix met his housemate’s eyes, biting his lips when he realized how serious Changbin’s eyes looked. “All you do is mopping around everywhere while you only have a few months to be here. Y/N and the others are trying to make you as happy as possible, and what have you done?”

“I never asked you guys to do any of that for me.” His tone was harsh and Felix regretted it as soon as those words slipped out of his month. Changbin got up from his seat, throwing the empty beer can to the trashcan.

“You’re right,” he answered. “You never asked anything but we did it anyways. Why? Because we think of you as our friend. Do you even realize how much Y/N has done for you?”

“It’s not my fault that I have to leave! It’s not my fault that I like Y/N, and it’s definitely not my fault that I can’t tell them that,” Felix challenged. Changbin shrugged, taking his jacket from the nightstand before walking out.

“None of this is your fault,” he agreed. “But acting like you’re the most unlucky person in the world and doing nothing to change that isn’t right either. Especially when feelings are involved. But you do you, man.”

When your name appeared on his phone screen, Felix wasn’t sure whether he wanted to cry in happiness or bang his head on the wall. He hadn’t seen you for weeks, and it wasn’t that he tried to avoid you, but he had been dancing any chance he got. He begged Minho to take him to every of his gig to observe, but after the second gig the dancer officially asked him to join his crew. But the truth was, he did kind of use it as a reason to reply to your messages late.

Felix had no idea how to face you and hid his feelings. Maybe he didn’t have to, but it would be unfair. He tried to ask Chan what to do, but his Sydney mate only said that all he needed to do was listen to himself. A very cliché, movie-like answer—although it wasn’t exactly wrong.

Another message from you came in, and as much as Felix wanted to make this easier for you (and him), he missed you a lot. So he replied, got out of his bed, and sprinted to your place.

“Can we order pizza?” he said as soon as you opened your door. You nodded, looking somehow surprised at his presence. “I thought you weren’t coming,” you mumbled, letting him in. Felix slipped into the pink slippers you specially prepared for him whenever he came over, and somehow, he felt like he was home.

“Where are the others?”

You plopped onto your beanbag, scrolling through movies on Netflix that had “zombie” in the titles. Felix took a seat beside you, watching you read the movies’ descriptions. “Jisung has a date—”

“Oh that’s surprising.”

You chuckled. “Changbin and Woojin are at work, Chan is busy composing for—wait. You didn’t read the group chat?”

Felix scratched the back of his head as if he had been caught. He hadn’t been really talking to any of his friends except Minho since his fight with Changbin. “I-I,” he stuttered. “Probably accidentally turned the notifs off.”

You frowned, but was quickly distracted as you finally found the movie you wanted to watch—which didn’t have any correlation to zombies. “I wanted to believe you, but I think you’re avoiding us. Am I right?”

The movie had started playing, but you shifted your gaze to him. “What’s wrong? Are you upset because we threw you a party when you said you didn’t one? Are you upset with me?”

Felix shook his head. “Not at all, but things have been pretty… complicated.”

“Mind to elaborate?”

“I’m leaving soon.”

“We’re fully aware of that, Felix.”

He ran his hand through his hair, desperately trying to form words that wouldn’t make him sound like an ungrateful asshole. “Yeah, it’s just—it’s hard. I want to stay, but—”

“Do you really want to stay?” you whispered, pausing the movie before giving him a stern look.

Felix felt his body burning—why was it so hard for you, Changbin, his other friends, and his parents to understand that he never wanted to leave? That he had found a new home which could be scary, but also beautiful?

“Oh God. First Changbin, now you. Why won’t anyone believe me?!”

You tried to blink your tears away, which broke Felix’s heart because he knew how much you hated crying in front of other people. “Because you’re not fighting for it, Felix! You’re not fighting for us or even yourself and suddenly I’m not sure about anything anymore. Time never slows down for anyone!”

Now you were sobbing, your head hung low. Felix threw his arms around you, rubbing your back slowly as you let out everything you had been holding in. You didn’t say anything for the rest of the night, not even when he said he would come over again later.

When Felix reached his aunt’s house at 2:48 AM, still wearing your pink slippers, it hit him. Out of all things he was afraid of, disappointing you was what he feared the most. Sadly, just like how this world worked, the one you were closest with was always the one whom disappointed you the most.

Felix had become that person for you, probably since a long time ago and he only realized it now. Tears started rolling down his cheeks, and before he could stop himself, he was already sobbing the way you did a few hours ago. He cried and cried and cried until his eyes felt dry and his throat felt raw.

He didn’t feel any better.

“You’re earl—wait what happened?!”

Minho panicked as he spotted Felix entering the dance studio with a camcorder and swollen eyes. The latter only shook his head and waved his camcorder. “Minho, can I record myself dancing for the rest of my time here?” he asked.

“Sure you can, we usually record ourselves anyways, but why?”

Felix smiled, turning on his camcorder and setting it next to Minho’s laptop before warming up. Minho joined him, and the stretching session soon turned into a flexibility showoff. Both of them laughed when Felix managed to do a perfect split and surprised himself.

“Seriously though, why are you doing this?” Minho repeated, waving to the camera.

“I want to stay here.”

Minho ran to his laptop to play a new song. “Isn’t that clear?” he teased, glancing at his friend.

“Yeah, but not clear enough.”

“Y/N I need to tell you something,” Felix rasped the moment you opened the door. You made a way for him to enter your flat, ignoring his Converse that he forgot to wear on his way out yesterday. Before he reached the living room, you stopped him. “Leave them in the bathroom, they’re dirty,” you said, pointing at your slippers he was wearing.

“I’m sorry,” Felix responded. “For the slippers, and for everything.” He stared at them before taking them off. “I didn’t want to disappoint you, but I did just that, didn’t I?”

Felix cupped your face, automatically wiping the corners of your eyes when he noticed you tearing up. “You were so bright, like these slippers,” he whispered. “I did everything with you, but forgot to take care of you. Too scared to show how much you mean to me. Now you’re even crying in front of me.”

“I didn’t want to say I love you because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stay with you. I didn’t want you to be sad, but maybe I didn’t want me to be sad. I know this is too late and I’ve kept you waiting for so long, but I love you.”

“I really want to stay, I really want to be with the others, I really want to dance. And most importantly, I really want to be with you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen. I’m sorry that the fight with Changbin and you needed to happen before I came back to my senses, I’m—”

You caught his lips with your fingers, chuckling at how much he resembled a fish with his lips puckered. “If you’re sorry, wash the slippers yourself, okay?”

Felix whined, but walked towards the bathroom immediately. “Wait, there’s no ‘I forgive you Felix?’, ‘I love you too, Felix’, ‘Please stay with me, Felix’?” he protested, pouting as you returned to your room.

“Make sure to turn off the lights when you leave, Yongbok!”

Seoul, D-15

“Where’s the submit button?”

“There, bottom right.”

“Where?!”

“Goddamn it, Felix it’s right. there!”

Changbin grabbed the mouse from Felix and scrolled down, clicking the submit button. “Okay, it’s done!”

“Now what do we do?” Felix asked, plopping back to his bed. “The announcement for early admission is still two months away, I feel so empty now.”

“Still no words from your parents?”

“Well they said we’ll discuss this again if I get accepted.”

“What if you don’t?”

“I’ll apply again? The new semester won’t start until next year anyways.”

Felix had decided to apply to one of the most prestigious Arts colleges in Korea after recording all his dance practices and competitions (he only joined 2, but Minho was kind enough to let him be the center for all of them).

You opened the door with a loud bang, your eyes twinkled even brighter than usual. “What happened? Did they respond?” Changbin muttered, getting more excited as you nodded rapidly.

“Who responded to what?” Felix frowned, but both Changbin and you ignored him and were busy talking among yourselves. “They’re gonna tell him soon. We did it!” you shouted and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Guys, what’s going on?!”

You finally looked at Felix who looked lost and betrayed. Changbin punched his biceps with a huge grin on his face before leaving with no words. As soon as the door was shut, you jumped to his lap, curling your arms around his neck.

“Mind to tell me what’s making you so happy that you forgot about me and hugged Changbin instead?” he said, failed to keep his sarcastic tone since your eyes twinkled with so much joy he hadn’t seen for quite a long time.

You released him, running to his balcony—where you two often hung out when it wasn’t too cold or too hot. Felix followed you, taking your extended hand before pulling you into his arms. “Come on, babe,” he begged. “I’m dying here.”

“You’re going to stay here,” you stated, adjusting your position so you could look into his eyes. “Stay… where?” he asked, completely dumfounded.

“Here. With us.”

Felix tightened his hold on you as his legs wobbled. “WHAT?! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?”

You took out your phone from your pocket and played a video for him. “We took turns to record you during your last few months here, starting on your birthday. I thought that the only way to convince your parents that you love it here is by showing them.”

The video showed Felix on many occasions with you and his 8 friends; during his mournday party, during a movie night at Chan’s flat, during a dinner Felix’s aunt invited you to, during the random but entertaining dance battle with Minho, and also during a totally mundane afternoon with Changbin.

Felix knew he was happy with all of you, but he never realized he was that happy. He felt his eyes brim with tears when he got to the last part of the video, in which he played Charades with you on his birthday.

Felix was the happiest with you, and he never wanted to let go.

“How in the world did you guys do this?” he sniffled, pulling you back to his embrace. You pulled him even closer, listening to his heartbeat. “How in the world did you not notice?” you giggled. Felix laughed along with you, pressing a kiss on the top of your head.

“I asked your aunt to contact your parents, and they allowed me to send the video,” you explained. “They called me this morning and told me that you don’t need to go back.”

“They told you before they told me?”

You slapped his back. “We dedicated a masterpiece for you and this is your response?”

“Sorry,” Felix winced. “And thank you.”

Felix pulled away, melting as you smiled at him. “Well done.” You patted his hair. “You’ve practiced so hard, I’m proud of you.”

His heart clenched a little bit when you said that you were proud of him. That was exactly what he wanted to hear, but at the same time he wanted to hear more.

“And I love you.”

You gave Felix a quick peck on his lips and he desperately wanted to have your lips on his again, but he decided to stay still. You finally said that you loved him; that was all he needed to hear.

“You won’t ever have to doubt me anymore,” he said. “I’m not going to promise that I will never make you sad again, but I promise that I’ll always try my hardest for you. For us. I’m not going to hold back anymore, okay? Even if we’re running out of time.”

You were about to give him another peck, but he stopped you. “Speaking about time, will you tell me about the hourglass pendant you gave me? Can you tell me what it means now?”

Felix showed his phone to you, causing you to yelp when you found out that he had removed the said pendant from the original keyring and attached it to his phone instead. “Well, you’ve said it yourself,” you began. “I didn’t expect you to know what it means because it feels so personal.”

“Hourglass represents time, a reminder for us that time doesn’t stop for anyone, that everyone in this world has limited time. Time will catch up on us; we’ll run out of time and die, but I don’t care about that. Our time is limited, and I want to spend my limited time with you.”

“Is there anything else you want to say?” Felix asked after you stopped talking.

“Why?”

“I want to listen anything you say about time with that pretty voice of yours, but I also really want to kiss you.”

“Oh alright, kiss me then. But tell them to close the curtain first, please.”

Felix darted his eyes to the window, perplexed when he saw all of his friends standing there watching him and you. “No way!” Seungmin shouted, lifting his phone. “We have to show your parents this!” Hyunjin and Minho whistled along with the rest of the boys, causing Felix to hide his face on the crook of your neck.

“I was the one editing the video and I have many clips of your ugly faces that I won’t hesitate to post,” you threatened, still with a sweet smile on your face. The boys groaned, letting Chan drag them outside.

You caressed your boyfriend’s hair while he was muttering about how embarrassed he was. “You were acting so cool a few minutes ago, wanting to kiss me and all. Where did that Felix go?”

He lifted his head, his cheeks still a bit flushed. “Do you still want me to talk with this pretty voice of mine or—”

As soon as Felix captured your lips with his, everything that happened the past few months didn’t matter anymore. You were right there in his arms, mumbling about how you doubted that this was his first kiss because he was “so damn good in this.” His heart felt light and warm, and while he knows that this was only the beginning, he wasn’t afraid.

Felix was finally ready to confront time, to make every second of it worth the pain.

more a/n: if you’ve reached this part, congratulations and thank you, as always! i’m sorry if felix can be so frustrating here, but that’s the whole point of this story: to allow him learn and grow from his mistakes.

176 notes · View notes

chimchimchoo · 7 years ago

Text

Fly Me to the Moon :: Ch 1

Genre: Pure fluff crack

Word Count: 2,510

Pair: Yoongi x Jimin

Collaborated with @tayvengeance

Chapter: 1

"CHEER UP THIS SAD, EMO BOY!"

02-222-3333

Jimin stared at the note on the bathroom wall for a solid 5 minutes before he pulled out his phone and typed in the number.

authors note: we do not own any of the pictures, for better formatting so it’s more comfortable to read, check it out on AO3! AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944508/chapters/34626863 Twitters: Tae’s Sujin’s <3 - Tae & sujin

Chat with Mochi_Moves

2015.11.15

14:00

Mochi_Moves:

Will this make you feel happier?

SUGA:

What the fuck

Who is this?

Mochi_Moves:

That doesn’t matter. Did the picture make you laugh? c:

SUGA:

No what the fuck

I think you have the wrong #

Mochi_Moves:

Aw :c

No, I just found this number and wanted to make you a happy emo boy!

SUGA:

Wait, who are you

How do you know I’m emo

Also it’s not emo

It’s grunge

Fuck you

Mochi_Moves:

But..I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name :c

Just call me Mochi

I’ll be your anonymous friend c:

Why are you a sad grunge boy?

SUGA:

Life is a bitch

That’s why.

Mochi_Moves:

Ohmygod, this poor soul

Who hurt you??????

SUGA:

Like i’m gonna tell a stranger my life story

Mochi_Moves:

But didn’t you know?

It’s easier to tell strangers

Come on c: c: c:

SUGA:

Add another smile to that and I just might strangle you

I’m kidding

But not really

Mochi_Moves:

SUGA:

Now that’s a relatable emotion

Mochi_Moves:

Okay alright

I won’t pressure you

You can tell me tomorrow c:

Instead tell me something happy about yourself!

SUGA:

I have mint hair.

I guess that’s happy?

Idk

Coloured hair makes me happier

Mochi_Moves:

Mint???? Wow!

I’ve never seen anyone with mint hair

That must look so cool *.*

SEND ME A PICTURE

SUGA:

No, what if you’re a predator

I’ve watched Catfish

I know how this shit goes

Mochi_Moves:

But I’m not! Just the hair

Pleeeaaassseee?

SUGA:

Only if you tell me who you are

Mochi_Moves:

How do I know you’re not a predator either?

Maybe you’re the bathroom janitor for all I know

SUGA:

YOU’RE THE ONE WHO KNEW I WAS AN

EMO BOY

YOU MESSAGED ME FIRST

Mochi_Moves:

I just found it in the bathroom and wanted to

cheer up a sad grunge emo boy

SUGA:

Goddammit Hoseok.

He fucking put my number on the

stall wall again, didn’t he

I’m gonna fight him

Last time he did this, I got calls

nonstop

Mochi_Moves:

Hoseok?

JUNG HOSEOK??????

SUGA:

for a week.

Holy shit.

You know my arch nemesis?

Mochi_Moves:

Yeah! I dance with him!

He’s a great friend

Annoying sometimes…

BUt wonderful c:

SUGA:

Holy shit

You’re that Jimin kid he always

talks about

The revered dancer

“God, Yoongi you should see him. The way he moves his body is

the closest humans will get to magic.”

Mochi_Moves:

He really said something like that?? Wow, he’s really pushing it

Hah..

But you exposed yourself,

Nice to meet you Min Yoongi c:

SUGA:

That’s Yoongi HYUNG to you

Well, since I know you’re not going to prey on my gay ass

Mochi_Moves:

Ah, well

Two gay boys can be friends

So don’t worry

I won’t be a gay predator

SUGA:

Fellas,

Is it gay to have gay friends

Mochi_Moves:

Let’s try it and see if it’ll answer your question!

SUGA:

Well, I showed my face.

Your turn, punk.

Mochi_Moves:

I’m not a punk :c

According to Hoseok

I’m a soft mochi

SUGA:

Is that that Taehyung kid

He’s in my art class

I swear to GOD

Loudass motherfucker

But I guess he makes me laugh

Mochi_Moves:

BITCHDV

WATCH WOT U SAY BOU

M E

I KNOW WHE REY

YOU SIT

SUGA:

Holy shit he’s been reading over

your shoulder?

Hey kid, you’re wild. I admire it.

Especially when you got the fire alarm to go off

in the middle of free painting the other day.

Idk how you did it. You didn’t even leave your

seat.

Mochi_Moves:

I hav my ways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Next time i jasdskjf

Sdfgk

Sorry! Taehyung took my phone

When I left the room

But yes it’s the one and only

We’re roommates

SUGA:

I see. So no hanging at your place.

Haha

I’m just kidding

Not really

But yeah

Mochi_Moves:

Oh, so you do want to

come over sometime then?

Is that what you’re saying?

c: c: c:

SUGA:

I thought we had bonded over being

Hobi’s friend

I thought WE were gay pals

Without it being gay

Mochi_Moves:

Ah, you’re right!

I thought maybe

You already went onto the next base

Im so glad it didn’t turn out like that

My best gay pal c:

Second to Taehyung of course

SUGA:

I mean, you are a handsome fella

But

I don’t uh, date, really.

Mochi_Moves:

Ahhhh, does your love life

have to do with you being a sad emo grunge boy?

A tragic backstory?

SUGA:

A tale for another time.

(like far beyond this time)

Hahaha

Mochi_Moves:

So like

tomorrow?

SUGA:

Someone’s persistent

Why do you wanna know so bad?

Gonna try to fix the depressed grunge boy?

Mochi_Moves:

You’re just an interesting person

Min yoongi

I’ll figure you out c:

SUGA:

That’s hyung to you, brat.

Chat with Mochi_Moves

2015.11.16

02:30

Mochi_Moves:

Did this cheer you up?

He had too much soju last night

SUGA:

You all drank without me

What the fuck

Mochi_Moves:

I’m sorry :c

I’ll invite you next time!

It was a night out for the dance team

But it can just be us the next time

And I’ll bring taehyung

And hoseok

You don’t want to be around the dance team

When they’re drunk

Trust me

SUGA:

I’ll take your word for it.

Mochi_Moves:

But did it cheer you up????

SUGA:

How can I not laugh at his dumb face

Mochi_Moves:

Just don’t tell him

He’ll make me do push ups for days

if he finds out I have this

considering he blacked out

and doesn't remember a thing

heh

SUGA:

I told him you found my number yesterday

He screamed

Then he sent me this:

And asked how gay I was for you

Mochi_Moves:

DELETE THIS NOW

!!!!

SUGA:

No. it brings me joy.

Mochi_Moves:

Yoongi

Whyy

SUGA:

Hey, haven’t you been trying to make me

happy?

It worked.

Mochi_Moves:

That’s true..

My pain is your happiness

c’:

SUGA:

But I told him I wasn’t gay for you

AND THEN

He sent me this:

And said “how about now?”

I just need to know, what was the

occasion?

Mochi_Moves:

Why does hyung still have this

I swear

I’m going to go talk to this..

Brb

He’s in the other room

SUGA:

Tell him I said thank you for our new

Kakao chat background pic

Mochi_Moves:

YOU DIDNT

MIN YOONGI

TELL ME YOU

DIDNT

SUGA:

Mochi_Moves:

That’s..heh

I don’t know what to say to that

Asdfhjkl

That was a performance I did a few years back

For a dance competition

Hoseok hyung begged

I didn’t want to

But i did anyway, it’s hyung

I can’t say no to him

I retired the exposed chest look

So don’t expect another one

Ever

SUGA:

Not to sound gay or anything

But

You have a nice body.

Good job.

Mochi_Moves:

What about you Mint Yoongi?

What do you do?

SUGA:

Write/compose/play music

A lil art here n there

I’m skilled on the piano.

And I have some beats on soundcloud

Mochi_Moves:

Wow! I love a good artist c:

Have you released anything to music companies??

SUGA:

Uh...

Kinda?

Mochi_Moves:

You must be famous! Can I hear some of your work??

SUGA:

I’m about as famous as you.

https://soundcloud.com/bangtan/agustd103

There you go, I guess.

Mochi_Moves:

It sounds amazing!

You’re so talented

One day you could compose a song

For one of my shows???

How cool would that be?!

SUGA:

Woah, take me to dinner first

Mochi_Moves:

So are you asking for a date??

Mint Yoongi

We haven’t even met formally yet…

So fast..

SUGA:

You were the one talking about intimacies

Composing a song for someone is as

intimate as fucking them.

Mochi_Moves:

Alright alright

Just gay best pals

Who’ve never met

SUGA:

Well are you insinuating that we should get up

get out and go meet somewhere?

Mochi_Moves:

That would be a good start

Besides

Hoseoks been wanting me to meet you for forever now

I just never had the time

Let’s do it for the sake of this poor hyung

SUGA:

It’s a monday morning.

I don’t have class.

We’re getting coffee.

Also

Why is Hobi hyung but you REFUSE TO

CALL ME HYUNG

Mochi_Moves:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Meet me at the campus cafe at 10?

SUGA:

Yeah. Sounds good.

Chat With Mochi_Moves

2015.11.25

13:00

SUGA:

Hey

Heyyy

Heyyyyyyy

Jimin

Min

Mochi_Moves:

Mint Yoongi?

Hi!

What

What is it?

SUGA:

Did I leave my composition notebook

at your place? I can’t find it

And I’m honestly freaking out

I’m gonna have a panic attack

All my songs are in there

And some stuff I don’t want people

poking around in

Mochi_Moves:

Give me just a second, I’m walking back to my room

I’m almost there

SUGA:

Fuckkkkk

Okay

It’s okay

Mochi_Moves:

Oh goodness

I found it!

I caught Taehyung holding it, but I don’t think he read anything

I’ve never lurched at him so quickly

Do you want me to drop it off?

SUGA:

Yes <3

That heart was so entirely

A you thing

Mochi_Moves:

Aw c:

You’re sending hearts now

SUGA:

Did it make yours go bangya bangya

Mochi_Moves:

Just a little

SUGA:

That’s fucking gay wow

Mochi_Moves:

I’ll safely return your notebook now!

I’ll guard it with my life

And I won’t read anything

I promise

SUGA:

Jimin

You’re a true hero

I might end up composing that song for

you if you don’t watch out.

Mochi_Moves:

You want to go to the next base already?

wow

I’m impressed

SUGA:

Don’t get your hopes up, sweetie

My emotional capacity is that of a

teaspoon.

Mochi_Moves:

If you triple the recipe, you’ll get a tablespoon

I just gotta triple my love

And your emotional capacity will go up

SUGA:

Which girl group sang that

Bc that’s what you sound like

It’s pretty gay.

Mochi_Moves:

I live with a gay roommate,

I learn a lot of gay things from him

Now open up Mint Yoongi

I’m outside

SUGA:

I would yell @ you for not calling me hyung

But i want my damn notebook.

I’m coming.

Chat With Mochi_Moves

2015.11.27

02:50

Mochi_Moves:

Mint Yoondi

Min

Yonff

Ccd:

SUGA:

Wha

Are you drunk?

Mochi_Moves:

Yeff

Yessd

So muffh soju

Whaff aru yo u ding

SUGA:

Where are you?

Are you safe?

Mochi_Moves:

I jusf go t home

Tae t ae passef out

I wasa bored

And mussed u

SUGA:

You saw me like 7 hours ago

Mochi_Moves:

Oghmygo

Ohmydo

That wascd so lo ng ago

::(

SUGA:

Jimin

You should drink water and go to sleep

Please

For your health

Mochi_Moves:

Im nof tierd

Ill dinrk wahter though

Aru you still u p wrintinh musi

???/

SUGA:

As usual.

Mochi_Moves:

WHAt isi it about this tim e/?

SUGA:

My first love.

Mochi_Moves:

Fird love?

I neve r heARd anything abo ut your love life

Didi somethin rly happen to make u

An emo grunge bo y?

Can you ttell me about it??

SUGA:

Not when you’re drunk.

Ask me when you’re sober.

Mochi_Moves:

Ehehhehfdhe

You sitll won t share about yourself :c

I thoght we were best gay pals

I thoufht we got close enough to talk abuot these kind

Of things

SUGA:

Your hangover is gonna be nasty.

How about

I come over in the morning, bring some fire ramen

And tell you about me.

I just don’t want you to forget the conversation.

Mochi_Moves:

Wooooooooooow

minT yoon gi

The sweetest man

Fire ranen sounds

fantatiiiiiiifc

SUGA:

You bet your ass I’m the sweetest man

I’ll fuck up anyone who says otherwise.

Mochi_Moves:

Sweet as suga r

SUGA:

Damn right i am

Mochi_Moves:

<3/

Chat With The.V.Zone

2015.11.29

15:00

The.V.Zone:

Lstn Yoongz

I saw your notebook

SUGA:

I figured you weren’t above snooping in my shit

Trying to figure me out

Or whatever.

The.V.Zone:

I was nvr a fan of you in the first place

Ill b honest

SUGA:

Understandable.

I used to find you unbearably obnoxious

The.V.Zone

I don’’t kno what my Chim has goin on in his head

But he’s all ovr u these days

And im gttn weird vibes

I dnt feel comfortable with this situation

Bck off a little

Chim is a sensitive soul

I don’t want any1 hurting him

SUGA:

Just curious, but what did you read

The.V.Zone

Smthn abt ur first love

SUGA:

Ah.

That’s uh,

I wrote that about my piano

The.V.Zone

Wut.

SUGA:

Look, my family situation was kinda

It wasn’t great

So I played piano and wrote music

And well

I fell in love with it.

I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever loved.

The.V.Zone:

…

weLL WHY DIDNT U JUST SAY SO

LOOK @ U

A SOFT EMO BOY FALLIN IN LUV

WITH A

PIANo

Wow u r so gay

SUGA:

My name is literally sugar, why are you all

so surprised to find out i’m nice?

The.V.Zone:

U always look rly grumpy

Like ur ready 2 kill someone

I dnt want my Chim around a murderer

SUGA:

It’s call resting bitch face and I’m sorry it

bothers you.

Jimin is a dear friend to me. I would never

do anything to hurt him.

The.V.Zone:

Well

If u say so

THEN BY ALL MEANS FEEL FREE 2 CUM OVR ANYTIME

But im not kiddin bout backing off

Chims mine

Furever

SUGA:

Wait, are you harbouring romantic

feelings for Jimin?

The.V.Zone:

Am i

Am i harborinfdsf

LMMAAAAAAAAOO

Ohmyg o d

Hyung

Ur so funny

Im crying

Oh dear god no

Im happily taken

But ty for ur concern

SUGA:

See, we don’t talk so I don’t know these

things about you.

Don’t worry

You still and will forever remain Jimin’s #1

The.V.Zone:

Good

But wait

What abt u

R u harboring feelings for my Chim??

SUGA:

…

I liked it better when we weren’t talking

The.V.Zone

O h

I liked it better when we weren’t talking too.

BUT 2 LATE 4 THAT

SPILL THE JUICES

I WONT TELL I PROMISE

SUGA:

Every single fiber of my being tells me that

that is a lie

The.V.Zone:

U dont kno me

SUGA:

Yeah that’s the problem

The.V.Zone:

Okay

Rmbr Jimin’s recent performance?

U 2 sick with the flu

And cldnt go

SUGA:

:/ I still feel bad about that.

He was so excited for me to watch.

The.V.Zone

Well

I hve pics

V good pics

If u tell me ill send them 2 u

U wont regret

:) :)

SUGA:

You know, I might have misjudged you, Kim Taehyung.

I apologize for that.

The.V.Zone:

U r forgiven

SUGA:

Well. I haven’t told anyone this

but

I have

emotions

regarding a certain person

named

Park Jimin.

The.V.Zone:

*sigh*

Some1 in luv

With my Chim

SUGA:

You throw the word “love” out so easily

I’ve only known him personally for like 2 weeks

The.V.Zone:

Gr8 point

Thats why ur perfct 4 him

An intellectual

I’ll deliver what i promised

Cherish these with ur lyfe

Regrettin that flu yet?

SUGA:

Holy shit

I’m gay

#fly me to the moon #collab #fic #au #yoonmin #fluff #fluffy crack #jimin #yoongi #bts #bts imagine #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bangtan boys #bangtan fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #bts au #yoonmin au #personal

75 notes · View notes

solastia · 7 years ago

Text

Beneath The Surface | 5

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Word Count: 5,746

Genre & Warnings: Angst, very sad Hobi Hobi ( I feel like that should be an actual warning lol), some fluff, Jisoo is an annoying bitch and calls everyone Oppa and Unnie, obviously cussing because it’s me. This is mostly an MC character growth chapter, where Sunflower’s past gets resolved so she can move on and be more open to possibilities in her future.

Notes: I really hate making my Hobi sad, so I hope you guys realize how much work went into this chapter. I literally made myself cry.

“Hold up, she said what?”

Hoseok gawked in disbelief at Bang PD. He really hoped this was a fucking nightmare because he was ready to wake up.

“Hoseok, she already told me everything, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t act dumb. I just wish you would have come to me with this sooner so we would have a more concrete game plan. For now, we just have to post a couple of pictures and maybe have Jisoo show up at a concert or something. We’ve already made the official announcement on Twitter.” Bang PD sighed and rubbed his temples like he was forming a migraine. Hoseok felt like he might be developing one as well.

Bang PD looked at Hoseok with such a disappointed gaze as he waved a paper in the air that he felt like a worm, even if he was innocent of this.

Bang PD cleared his throat and read the paper.

“As the leader of Hypnotic, I feel like it is my duty to come clean with any personal matters that may affect my group. So I am happy to announce that I am officially dating Jung Hoseok of BTS and that I will be making it public knowledge.”

“But none of it is true!” Hoseok yelled, slapping his open palm against the desk. He was just so frustrated. Why wouldn’t anyone listen? “I’ve never even said anything to her beyond hello and goodbye. I’ve never been alone with her, I’ve never touched her, and I am certainly not dating her.”

“Hoseok, can you really blame me for believing this? You’re literally still on lockdown because you got caught sneaking out to see a girl. I hate having to treat you guys like kids, but it is for the good of the entire group. Now we have to deal with this. Hopefully, the fans won’t freak out too much and just accept it. Give it at least a few months, and we’ll announce a split if you’re still set on it.”

“Of course I’m still set on it. I don’t know or like her. Please, don’t make me do this! Just say it was a mixup or a misunderstanding! I never ask you for anything! The girl that I’m on lockdown for, she cant see this! I’m with her, not Lee Jisoo.” Hoseok pleaded, unable to control the tears anymore.

Bang PD quietly sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Hoseok. It’s already been announced. As far as the world is concerned, you’re dating Lee Jisoo.”

Hoseok crumbled into the desk chair, shoving his face into his hands as he sobbed. He was so close to being done with everything. So sick of feeling like he wasn’t good enough, sick of not being able to live like a fucking human. And now...now they were taking away his hope. His Sunflower.

“Don’t be afraid to stand a little closer, you two. This is a couple photo after all.” The photographer chuckled as he pushed Hoseok and Jisoo closer together.

Hoseok was so uncomfortable, and he’d never been so close to punching a woman in his life. He’d been practically choking on his rage since the moment she’d step foot in the office. Her smug strut and overconfident smirk had him seeing red. He didn’t understand. Why him? She could have pulled this stunt with any of them. Why the hell did she pick him? He’d never done anything to encourage her or piss her off that he knew of. He didn’t know when they’d get a chance to talk alone, but when they did, she’d learn he wasn’t all sunshine and smiles.

“Achoo!”Jisoo sneezed delicately. Followed by a sniffle, then two more mouse-like sneezes. Hoseok glared down at her only to see her gaze narrowed in on the sunflower pinned to his shirt.

“I’m terribly sorry, Hoseok Oppa, but that flower has to go. I’m allergic.” Jisoo batted her eyelashes up at him, and his scowl deepened. No way in hell.

He ignored her and focused on the photographer. He saw her fake smile start to slip a little from the corner of his eye and gained a little bit of satisfaction from that. He tried to zone out enough to where he couldn't hear the annoying sniffling. She could deal with being uncomfortable for a few damn minutes considering she’s fucking with his life.

“Jisoo, why does it look like you’re crying?” The photographer asked, walking up to them with a slight frown. “I can’t shoot with you looking like that.”

“It’s just that I’m allergic and can’t be around flowers. Hoseok Oppa has a sunflower on his shirt.” She responded quietly, almost sounding apologetic.

“Ah, I see. Hoseok, as charming as you look with your flower, we'll have to get rid of it to get through this,” the photographer sighed.

Hoseok was about to fight to keep it when he saw Manager Sejin shake his head from behind the photographer. Hoseok dropped his head in defeat. Sejin was under orders to add another day to his lockdown everytime he acted out during this whole debacle. With a trembling hand and a weary heart, Hoseok unpinned his sunflower and gave it to Sejin to hold onto for the duration of the shoot. He couldn’t help feeling like it was almost symbolic.

Seeing Jisoo’s satisfied expression as he got back into position pissed him off, so he let his mask drop. He let every hateful thought, his disgust with this situation and her, and general unhappiness shine through in all its glory. Her eyes widened, and he swore he heard a little gulp. Good.

“Let’s get this over with, yeah? And quit fucking calling me Oppa.” He slipped back into his Jhope persona, smile as wide as the sun, and prayed his Sunflower would see through it.

“Stop looking so good.” You groaned at the television in frustration.

After the news with Jisoo, the media had been going crazy, and now every channel you tried to watch had something BTS related. They’d even mentioned it on a cooking show! The news was always paired with yet another stunning picture of Hoseok, and it was driving you mad. You couldn’t get away from him. Even Momo missed him. Anytime something played that had Hoseok’s voice, Momo’s ears would perk up, and he’d give the saddest little whine. You were both pathetically whipped for the man.

Just as you’re about to throw something at your TV in frustration, your friend Nari lets herself into your apartment. She shakes bottles of raspberry soju knowing you’ll let her stay thanks to her offering. You sigh and scoot over, patting the spot next to you on the couch.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you and those lovely bottles, but whatcha doing here?” You ask as you crack open one of the bottles and take a sip. She follows suit and sinks into her seat.

“You’ve been either moping here at home or working your ass off in the studio, so no one’s seen you in forever. We’re all worried. What’s going on? Can you finally tell me?” Nari asked softly, looking at you with her big brown eyes filled with worry.

You sigh and decide it’s finally time to clue someone in on all the madness. You’d never told your friends you’d seen Hoseok again after that time at the bar when you’d first met. You’d wanted to respect his privacy, and while you trusted your friends, you’d just wanted him to be safe. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. And even though you were hurting right now, you still couldn’t find it in you to be regretful about bringing him home that night.

You cuddle up next to Nari and pour it all out. You told her of your date, the time apart, the week you’d worked together. You’d told her that you were head over heels in love with Jung Hoseok. And that it didn’t matter because somehow he was now dating one of the girls you choreographed for. You observed in amusement as her eyes widened with each twist or reddened when she was angry, or you’d perhaps shared a little too much.

“Y/N. This whole time. I knew you were upset about something, but I assumed it was because of your ex. Holy shit though, JHope and you! I didn’t know you were going through so much. I feel like a horrible friend.” Nari’s face fell, and she threw her legs over your lap and cuddled up to you. You chuckle and pat her head fondly.

“I’ll be fine.” You reassure her, but she looks at you like she knows that’s a lie.

“I know you say that, but your eyes tell me a different story. The way you talk about him...you never sounded like that with your ex. Like, never. I was never even sure you liked him, let alone loved him. When you talk about Hoseok though? I’m almost envious because he sounds like your soulmate. You really loved him, didn’t you?”

You should tell her no, keep repeating the lie over and over until it sticks. Instead, you just tell her the truth. “Yes, I did. I still do. I can’t make it stop, and I don’t know if it ever will.” You pat her shins draped across you with a heavy sigh and give her a bittersweet smile.

“What we need to do is get this Jisoo chick out of the picture,” she declared, causing you to raise an eyebrow in amusement.

“You sound like you’re in the mafia now.” You laugh. “Besides, she’s an idol. Even if I do work with her, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I will gladly join the fight.” Nari declares, fist to the sky.

“There’s nothing to fight against. Get your shoes off the couch and stop quoting Hamilton.” You giggle as you push her legs off you and get up. You weren’t as drunk as you wanted to be and the two of you had run out of soju. You were sure you had some wine somewhere around here.

You were distracted from hunting through your cabinets when you heard a gasp. You quickly turn around to see if Nari was okay. She was staring at her phone in shock.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to peek. Nari quickly slammed the phone against her chest, blocking it from your view. She looked up at you with alarmed eyes. Clearing her throat, she murmured, “Nothing.”

“Nari...” You spoke in a flat warning tone. Somehow you knew what you were about to see. “Just show me.”

With a great show of reluctance, Nari handed you the phone. Right there on the official BTS twitter was a picture. A couple picture. Of Jung Hoseok and Lee Jisoo.

Your hand was shaking so much that you couldn’t keep the phone still, but you could still make out every detail. Jisoo looked so proud and beautiful as she stood next to him, her tight pale green dress complementing Hoseok’s grey and green suit. He was smiling widely, and you didn’t know if it was just a vain hope that you thought his eyes looks unhappy. Your eyes scanned the picture, feeling like something was missing. You stared, wondering what you were looking for when it suddenly hit you.

The sunflower. There was no sunflower.

You scanned the entire picture, thinking maybe they’d told him he couldn’t wear it with that outfit. Perhaps he’d had to hide it somewhere. So you looked at every corner and crevice the picture showed, zooming in on everything. Not only was there no sunflower, there wasn’t even a single flower of any kind in the picture.

It was over. Hoseok didn’t want you anymore.

You inhaled shakily and handed Nari back her phone, not meeting her eyes. You push yourself up off the couch and make your way to the kitchen to renew your search for the wine. You needed it now more than ever.

“Y/N...Do you want to talk about it?” Nari asks tentatively as she walked behind you.

“No. What’s there to talk about? He’s moved on to someone in his own world, someone his company obviously approves of. He looks happy. That’s all that matters, right?” You answer, voice shakey as you try to keep your emotions in check.

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not,” Nari whispers as she hugs you from behind and the contact makes you break down. You crumble to the floor and Nari follows you down, gathering you up and rocking you gently as you sob.

Tomorrow, you promise yourself. Tomorrow you’ll go back to being fine. You’ll go to work and pretend that seeing Jisoo doesn’t kill you inside. You’ll go back to trying to live your life without Jung Hoseok in it.

But tonight you needed to be miserable. Tonight you needed to cry and mourn what was probably the love of your life. So you let Nari play with your hair as you wept all over her until you finally fell into an exhausted sleep and hoped he’d be in your dreams.

You stare at yourself in the dance studio mirror as you wipe the sweat from your face. You’d had the girls working for three hours now, and you were tempted to add another hour in hopes it would wipe the smirk off Jisoo’s face.

This whole time you’d been wondering how Hoseok and Jisoo had happened. You didn’t even remember them ever talking, but they apparently had because she was looking at you with such venom that there was no way this was about dance practice.

She knew.

Jisoo was looking at you with pride and disdain. The look of a woman who’d won. The look of a woman who probably pitied you. If she knew, that meant Hoseok had told her, because you were sure the two of you had been careful enough. Why would he tell her? Did they sit around and laugh behind your back? Were you really so desperate for love that you’d become an easy target?

“Y/N Unnie, you look distressed. Is everything alright?” Jisoo asked sweetly, her eyes wide and a worried look on her face. The overall effect was ruined by her smirk.

“Oh, I’m just super Jisoo. Just worried about the choreography. If you were a better dancer, it wouldn’t be an issue, but I’m wondering if I should dumb it down a little. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, sweetie.” You mock in a dulcet tone.

The rage that filled Jisoo’s face made you childishly happy. You turn away and prepare to leave when Jisoo grabs your wrist and digs her overly long nails in.

“I’m so sorry, Unnie. Maybe now that I have Hoseok Oppa, I’ll get better. It’s amazing what those hips of his can do. But you already know that, don’t you?” She coos, and you have to clench your fist behind you to keep from smacking her. You tear your wrist away, momentarily allowing your irritation to be seen.

“You are far from the innocent you portray yourself to be," you answer in a monotone. You clench your teeth and hope you can keep your emotions in check. Your job was more important than Jisoo’s enjoyment of your pain.

“Oh, Unnie. Are you upset that I took your man? Don’t be. I’m doing you a favor after all. Eventually, he would have gotten bored with a nobody like you. He needs someone who understands life as an idol, someone who looks beautiful next to him. Sadly, that’s not you. Don’t worry, I’ll treat him well.” Jisoo smiles evilly.

“You know, the truth about what a bitch you are is going to come to light, and we’ll see how much of an “Idol” you are then. If I find out this is all fake and you’re hurting my Hobi, I will fucking end you.” You growl, your patience finally nearing its limit.

Jisoo’s throws her head back and laughs. “You think you can threaten me? You? You’re nothing. Hoseok already told me all about your little camping trip fuck. Said it was the easiest lay of his life.” Jisoo narrowed her eyes at you, searching for signs of weakness. You gave her nothing and quickly turned to storm out of the room.

“Get back here. I’m not done talking to you, wench!” Jisoo shrieked.

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” You taunt as you slam the door behind you.

You quickly make your way to your car and throw your duffle bag into the seat next to you. You lean back and finally let your tears fall, angrily hitting the steering wheel. You couldn’t remember ever crying this much over anything. You didn’t even cry when your fiance had cheated on you. You didn’t want to cry anymore.

You wanted to get drunk.

You start your car and call Nari, ordering her to get the girls together. It was time for a night out.

It felt bizarre sitting in this club again. The last time you were here was when you were drinking away the fact that it was supposed to be your wedding day and you’d met Hoseok. A night that seemed so long ago when it really wasn’t. Now you were back, mourning your shitty love life yet again. In the same seat at the same table with the same girls. Nari had already told you she’d tried to invite the boys again, but their lockdown was no joke. She hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone but had left messages letting them know they were here.

You zone out as the girls chat around, your gaze narrowed on the booth that Hoseok had dragged you to that first night. You want to laugh and cry at the same time as you think about all of the stupid “get to know you” questions Hoseok had asked you. Beyond the usual “What’s your favorite color,” he’d also asked ridiculous things like “What cartoon character turns you on the most?” and “What kind of dance style should our firstborn specialize in?” You smirk to yourself when you remember his judgemental look when you’d told him clog dancing was probably going to be pretty popular by then. God, you missed him.

You are brought back to the present when your friend Tiffany pokes your side. “You might want to look over at the bar.” She says, and your eyes follow her pointing finger.

At first, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary. The usual assortment of greasy men and sad women. A little flicker of hope wants you to believe it’s Hoseok she’s pointing out, but you hadn’t told her anything about him yet so it couldn’t be that. Your eyes flutter across the bodies assembled in front of the bar, and you finally spot who your friend is pointing out. Even from behind you can tell who it is. With a heavy sigh, you observe the man with irritation as he turns around and meets your eyes.

Your ex-fiance Seon smiles like he’s genuinely happy to see you. When you notice he’s walking towards your table, you nod towards another open booth, not wanting to subject your friends to whatever drama he was about to start.

“I’ll be right back.” You murmur to your friends, smiling reassuringly at Nari who was looking at you with concern.

You slide into the booth and stare at Seon. He’d obviously come here straight from work, as he was still in his suit pants and white shirt. You thought he’d maybe lost a little bit of weight and wondered if he was forgetting to eat again. He did that sometimes when they were working on something big at his company. You shook your head and reminded yourself it wasn’t your problem anymore, although five years of worrying about the man in front of you was a hard habit to break.

You were a little surprised with yourself. You’d imagined various situations where you’d run into him again and you’d always pictured you’d be an emotional wreck. Instead, all you felt was mild irritation and trepidation over whatever he wanted to talk to you about.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, trying to force yourself to keep a civil tone.

“Work. We’re celebrating closing a huge deal. You remember that one with the CEO from Japan that we’ve been talking about for almost a year? It went through. Probably going to get a promotion after this.”

“Congratulations, Seon. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been working hard for that one.” You were amazed by much you really meant it.

“You look good, Angel.” He says softly, smiling as he fidgets with his drink.

You snort at the use of the nickname. “Did you pull that overused line straight from the post-breakup manual?”

“Does that exist? I could use that. How to survive breakups for absolute morons.” He joked, and you genuinely laughed. His smile softened as he watched you. You return his stare and just sit in silence for a minute. Seon keeps searching your face like he’s looking for something or memorizing your features.

“Why did you come over here?” You blurt, growing uncomfortable.

“I wanted to apologize.”

You cock an eyebrow and prepare to say something snarky, but his expression makes you pause. He looked like he was sincere. Of course, you’d thought he was nothing but honest and sincere throughout your entire relationship and look where that got you. Still, you nod for him to continue.

“I’ve wanted to call you since then to talk to you, but I either chicken out or decide it’s better to just let it be and let you move on with your life. However, I just can’t pass up the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I know that nothing I can say will erase what I did, or how unbelievably stupid I was to do it, but the least I could do is tell you that I regret it so much and that it was never your fault.”

You bite your lip and soak in his apology. You’d always wondered if you’d done more, if you’d been more, would he have cheated. You’d felt like used trash for months, so this was nice to hear.

“Thank you.” You whisper, looking down at the remnants of your drink.

“I just...kinda want to tell you why? I mean, I didn’t go out and choose to do that with a reason clear in my mind, but I’ve been moping around the apartment alone for six months now. Plenty of time for introspection.”

You look up surprised that he’s willing to give you more. He’d never been the most emotionally open person. You nod and observe as he takes a deep breath before locking eyes with you.

“I think...it was mostly because I was scared? You know how my parents are. Poster children for a marriage gone wrong. The rumors are that once upon a time they were madly in love. Now they have screaming matches three times a day and make jokes about waiting for each other to die. I just...didnt want that to happen for us. I didn’t want you to wake up one morning and realize you were just waiting to die to get away from me. I didn’t want to see the love in your eyes dim year after year as you realize I’m not worth it. I wanted you to be free to find someone who deserves you more than me, someone who’s not so fucked up. So I kinda subconsciously did that in the hopes of being caught so you’d end it without regrets. I realize that I went about it in a shitty way, but that just proves my point of how I don’t deserve someone as great as you. I should have manned up and told you my fears. Then you could have just hated me for being a coward instead of a cheating coward.”

To say you’re surprised by everything he’s telling you would be an understatement. This was probably the most you’d ever heard him speak about his feelings. You sigh deeply and grab his hand.

“I don’t hate you. I was angry, though. So god damn angry. At myself, at you, at the world. I was disappointed. Afraid. I worried that with any future relationship I had I would be waking up every morning and wondering if that was the day they’d grow bored with me too. But I never hated you. It’s hard to really hate someone that you’d spent five years loving.” You tell him as you pat his hand.

“Never bored. Five years and I was never once bored. Sex with you was always amazing so you can take that off your list right now.” Seon jokes and you giggle and slap his arm away.

“I just want you to know that I’m not telling you all this because I want you to take me back. In fact, I would be incredibly upset if you did take me back after going through all that to let you find someone better than me. I just...wanted to give us both some closure and I wanted to make sure that you knew that it was absolutely not you. You took such good care of me that six months later I’m still trying to learn how to cook and do laundry. You supported me in everything, and I always appreciated how much you were there for me. I will always, always love you. You were the first person to love me and even if the both of us end up married to someone else in the future, I will always regret never marrying you. I just never thought I deserved your love. The blame is all on me and my issues. Speaking of which, I actually started counseling last month, with the therapist that you told me to look into about my parents. I decided that I probably needed it so that I don’t try to sabotage my relationships again in the future.”

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re doing that.” You smile at Seon warmly. You were starting to feel a little lighter inside. At least one of your issues was getting resolved.

Seon chuckles before clearing his throat. “Also, I know it’s a lot to ask, and I totally don’t expect you to take me up on it right away, but I was hoping we could still see each other? I don’t mean see each other, but like, hang out? It’s just...for five years you were not just my girlfriend, but you were also my best friend and my one constant in life. I wake up, and I forget that you’re gone. I start your coffee and toast, put on pants and grab a leash to take Momo out for a walk, and it’s not until I wonder why I can’t find him that I remember you’re not there. I just really miss talking to you. I miss you. And I miss our son. How is Momo?”

“Your son Momo is fine.” You grin. You’d forgotten how he always called Momo his son. “He missed you for awhile. Refused to sleep in his crate unless I put a shirt of yours in there. Look, I can’t promise to be able to easily become your friend again, but I’ll try. And in the meantime, you can have visitations with Momo if you wanted. I’ll admit that beneath the anger, I did miss you too. We did have five years of good memories before that day.”

“Thank you. You didn’t even have to talk to me, so thank you for listening, and I hope you’ll want to see me again sometime. Thank you, Angel. Goodbye.” Seon’s eyes were suspiciously watery as he grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. You smile and pat his cheek.

“Thank you. I was worried I’d be bitter forever. Call me in a couple weeks, and we’ll set a day for you to take Momo to the park or something.” You say as you stand up. You spot bright red out of the corner of your eye as you step away from the booth. Out of curiosity, you glance towards the bright color only to be met with Hoseok’s shocked eyes. He frantically looks between you and Seon, confusion and hurt in his eyes, before hardening his gaze and stomping away.

“No, HOSEOK. Come back! Shit...” You yell after him, trying to make your way through the sweaty crowd. You spot Nari at the bar and corner her.

“What are they doing here? I just saw Hoseok?” You shriek, grabbing her by the arm as you keep walking towards the door he exited out of.

“I guess Sejin saw my texts on their phones since he’s the one holding onto them and decided to give them a free night for good behavior. Most of them are at the booth already. I guess they can’t stay that long tonight though since they have some meeting tomorrow. Come sit, I’m sure he just went to get a drink.” Nari tries to reassure you, no doubt seeing your panicked eyes.

“No. He saw me talking to Seon. He probably thinks I moved on because of the stupid dating announcement. God, the way he looked at me, Nari. There’s no way that dating thing is real. He looked genuinely hurt. I have to find him. I’ll talk to you later.”

You storm out of the club, frantically searching for Hoseok. You walk up and down the streets and dark, scary alleys. Your feet were still in your stilettos, and they were in so much pain. There were even bloody blisters on the back of your heels that would make dancing considerably painful for a while. Finally, after an hour and a half of searching, you decide to give up, mostly because you could barely walk anymore. Either he’d found a taxi, or he just didn’t want to be found.

You head back to the club and search for your friend's table. You wanted to at least try to get one of the boys to relay the message to Hoseok that what he thought he saw wasn’t right. As you finally get close enough to the booth, you see it’s once again a girls-only table. You ask Nari, and she tells you that they’ve all gone home already. Your last option is her, so you tell her to text them all that you needed to talk to Hoseok. You text him yourself as well, although you know the chances of Manager Sejin relaying your messages are slim.

It’s time to give up and go home, you decide. You say goodbye to your friends, receive a hug and an order from Nari to call her later, and order a taxi. You have him stop at a convince store and buy four bottles of Soju. You were going to need them. You stumble into your apartment in an unhappy daze, stopping to peel your high heels off your blood crusted feet, before plopping onto the couch. You scratch Momo behind his ear and crack open your first bottle, forgoing glasses altogether. Soon enough, your mind starts to blank of everything but Hoseok, and you fall asleep thinking of his dismayed expression.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling this hungover in your life.

Since the moment you’d woken up and rolled off of the couch to crawl to the bathroom, you’d been throwing up. You’d only made it through two of the Soju bottles before you’d passed out and you usually made your way through six at a time with no problem. You wracked your brain trying to think of what else it could be. Maybe something you ate? It couldn’t be anything else because you just had your...

You weakly grab your phone and find your tracking app. Your last period was two months ago. Right before you’d met Hoseok.

“Shit...shit...fuck...” You call Nari in a panic, saying two words you’d never said before. It was a code you’d all established back in college when scares were the norm. It meant I need you and bring the stick.

“Code Stork.”

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