#in rajasthan i think
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All the cows were falling out of the sky and landing in the mud.Ā You were drinking sangria and I was throwing oranges at you
But it didnāt matter. I said my arms are very long and your headās on fire
I said kiss me here and here and here
And you did
Then you wanted pasta
So we trampled out into the tomatoes and rolled around to make the sauce
You were very beautiful
We were in the Safeway parking lot. I couldnāt find my cigarettes
You said Hurry up! but I was worried there would be a holdup
And we would be stuck in a hostage situation, hiding behind
The frozen meats, with nothing to smoke for hours
You said Donāt be silly
So I followed you into the store
We were thumping the melons when I heard somebody say Nobody move!
I leaned over and whispered in your ear I told you so
There was a show on the television about buried treasure. You were trying to convince me that we should buy shovels
And go out into the yard and I was trying to convince you that I was a vampire
On the way to the hardware store I kept biting your arm
And you said if I really was a vampire I would be biting your neck
So I started biting your neck
And you said Cut it out!
And you bought me an ice cream, and then we saw the UFO
These are the dreams we should be having. I shouldnāt have to
Clean them up like this
You were lying in the middle of the empty highway
The sky was red and the sand was red and you were wearing a brown coat
There were flecks of foam in the corners of your mouth
The birds were watching you
Your eyes were closed and you were listening to the road and I could hear your breathing, I could hear your heart beating. I carried you to the car and drove you home but you werenāt making any sense
I took a shower and tried to catch my breath
You were lying on top of the bedspread
In boxer shorts, watching cartoons and laughing but not making any sound. Your skin looked blue in the television light
Your teeth looked yellow. Still wet, I lay down next to you. Your arms, your legs, your naked chest
Your ribs delineated like a junkyard dogs. Thereās nowhere to go, I thought. Thereās nowhere to go
You were sitting in a bathtub at the hospital and you were crying
You said it hurt
I mean the buildings that were not the hospital
I shouldnāt have mentioned the hospital
I donāt think I can take this much longer
In the dream I donāt tell anyone, you put your head in my lap. Letās say youāre driving down the road with your eyes closed
But my eyes are also closed
Youāre by the side of the road
Youāre by the side of the road and youāre doing all the talking
While I stare at my shoes. Theyāre nice shoes, brown and comfortable, and I like your voice
In the dream I donāt tell anyone, Iām afraid to wake you up
In these dreams itās always you:
The boy in the sweatshirt
The boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me
From jumping off the bridge
Oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued
Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me. The sandwich cut in half on the plate
I woke up and ate ice cream in the dark
Hunched over on the wooden chair in the kitchen
Listening to the rain
I borrowed your shoes and didnāt put them away
You were crying and eating rice
The surface of the water was still and bright
Your feet were burning so I put my hands on them, but my hands
Were burning too
You had a bottle of pills but I wouldnāt let you swallow them. You said Will you love me even more when Im dead?
And I said No, and I threw the pills on the sand
Look at them, you said. They look like emeralds
I put you in the cage with the ocelots. I was trying to fatten you up
With sausage and bacon
Somehow you escaped and climbed up the branches of a pear tree. I chopped it down but there was no one in it
I went to the riverbed to wait for you to show up. You didn't show up
I kept waiting
"In the dream I don't tell anyone, you put your head in my lap."
Richard Siken, I Had A Dream About You
#please let me catch a break šš¼#poetry#this feels like that one ruskin bond story- the one with the guy who played flute#in rajasthan i think
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youāre going to christ????
Nooo I wanted the central campus but I didn't get it so I'll likely not goš
#I think my CUET results were good enough for Delhi University so I'll go there (they have limited seats in thr colleges i want tho )#or my beloathed Rajasthan University š§š»āāļø#asks#darlingnemesis
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Alright, I'm going down a rabbit hole.
In my Marioverse, there's a sort of universal way monarchies are run and how rulers are dressed based largely on historical Western Europe; most monarchies that adhere to this practice are allies, and thus it's sort of a symbol of unity, a distinct style that they all share in. However, each kingdom has its own parallel to nations in our world. The nations themselves reflect a mix of modernity and history, while monarchs wear their nation's traditional clothing for special occasions.
It's still heavily a work in progress, but here's what I've got so far!
The Sarasaland Empire is parallel to India. Its capital, while borrowing elements of ancient Egyptian culture and archeology, is actually parallel to the state of Rajasthan, while Daisy herself hails from the Muda Kingdom, which here is parallel to the state of Kerala. Daisy is thusly Marayali.
Since I can't draw, I'm scouring the internet for references for her traditional dress, and here's some good ones that sum up the idea: a traditional Kerala saree with an orange blouse and yellow/gold accents (first pic) and emerald jewelry (second pic).
For the Beanbean Kingdom, I'm thinking Southeast Asia? This one's had a lot less thought put into it. I jumped and said Laos first off, but now I'm thinking Cambodia. Complete coincidence and something I'm still researching, but Cambodia was colonized by France at one point in its history and a little over a million people still speak it, which would explain the presence of French within the kingdom. On top of that, its numerous famous depictions of the Buddha bring to mind the ever-present symbols of laughter the kingdom's themed after.
There isā¦ frustratingly little in-depth info on traditional Khmer fashion in the English language, at least from cursory digging, so Peasleyās and Queen Beanās traditional dress will take me a while longer to solidify. For now Iāve got lots more research to do on sampot, but their outfits will likely resemble these (justā¦ less intimate in their posing, since theyāre. Yāknow. Mother and son).
Aaaaaaaand thatās about what Iāve got. I donāt even know where to start with the Mushroom Kingdom and Peach, but thatās my next goal!
#I'm still figuring out how languages work#there's a universal common tongue a la star wars' basic#but I dunno if it's largely overtaken native tongues or if most people in the eight realms are just. inherently bilingual#leaning towards the first one with the original languages being mostly preserved in academic circles#peachesā illustrious lore
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Been thinking of putting Pavitr into different regional clothingā¦. couldnāt decide which area I should tackle first, so Iām leaving that up to you :)
Feel free to send this post around and tell me what type of traditional wear you want to see Pavitr in!!! List of states in the zonal regions below if you want to double check!
NORTHERN INDIA (Chandigarh, Delhi, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Jammu and Kashmir, Ladakh, Punjab, Rajasthan)
NORTH EASTERN INDIA (comprising Assam, Arunachal Pradesh, Manipur, Meghalaya, Mizoram, Nagaland, Sikkim State, Tripura)
CENTRAL INDIA (States of Chhattisgarh, Madhya Pradesh, Uttarakhand, Uttar Pradesh)
EASTERN INDIA (Bihar, Jharkhand, Odisha, West Bengal)
WESTERN INDIA (Dadra and Nagar Haveli and Daman and Diu, Goa, Gujarat, Maharashtra)
SOUTHERN INDIA (Andaman and Nicobar Islands, Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Kerala, Lakshadweep, Puducherry, Tamil Nadu, Telangana)
#indian culture#desi#india#desiblr#india fashion#pavitr prabhakar#atsv pavitr#spider man india#spiderman india#atsv#agnirambles#decided to do this on a whim. please support my whimsies
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I've heard a story of a palace, Abhimanyu built for his love Uttaraa! I found it very interesting. If you know any information about that, please share:) And which is your favorite headcanon on them?
Oh, yes, I have heard of that story too!
IDK if it's true or not, but I have heard some variations from my friends. Basically, Abhimanyu built a palace for Uttaraa, incase he died AND they lost the war, so that she had a place to live in peacefully. It's most likely a folk tale, but it's too sweet to not include!!
Some people say that the palace is located in Abhimanyupur, Haryana, but that cannot be, since that town comes in the Kurukshetra district. Also, Abhimanyupur is the area where the entire chakravyuha was formed. Abhimanyu wouldn't build a palace in the battleground, would he? XD
I have also heard that the palace was in present day Rajasthan, in the Matsya Kingdom back then. It would be reasonable, though. Won't Uttaraa be the happiest and safest in her own homeland??
As for my fav headcanon, I have many XDDD. I think of them embodying the sunshine x sunshine trope, both of them are such cuties. Abhimanyu is a bit of a wild person, and can be brash and abrasive, while Uttaraa is more naive and spoilt, but they are both optimistic and positive people.
And no, they are not introverts, in my headcanon. XDD
#asks#mahabharat#mahabharata#hindu mythology#abhimanyu#abhira#uttara#abhimanyu x uttara#uttaraa#abhimanyu x uttaraa
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So like, where does the claim that Durga originates in Ishtar even come from?
Is there some super outdated scholarship article everyone is just plagiarizing like those Nanaya = Bibi Nani posts? Or is it the Occham's Razor of "Well they're vaguely similar as war goddesses so some people just connect them based on the vague similarities"?
Tbh I have no clue where it came from. Given how it makes no sense spatially or temporally, probably from the 19th century, from theosophy or from 1990s Helsinki. Iāve actually only seen Asko Parpola ever make such claims so it might very well be the last of these three options. To put it very lightly it makes no sense. More under the cut.
Based on Durgaās entry in Brillās Encyclopedia of Hinduism, written by Hillary Rodrigues, the earliest textual references to her include short passages inserted into the Rigveda and various commentaries on this work like Bį¹haddevatÄ. Precise dating is difficult, but the second half of the first millennium BCE is a sensible estimate. However, it took until the Gupta period for her to become a popular deity across India. The earliest iconographic attestations of a Durga-like figure - a warlike goddess riding on a lion (or at least accompanied by this animal) slaying a demonic buffalo - come from the first century BCE or so from sites like Nagar in Rajasthan and Mathura in Uttar Pradesh. They come either from the Kushan period or slightly predate it. I donāt exactly think either the textual or iconographic attestations belong to a milieu in which one would expect to find Mesopotamian influence, to put it very lightly. Buffalo-slaying, which is an integral part of Durgaās character in the earliest sources already, is not exactly a characteristic activity of Ishtar (demon-slaying in general isnāt, really). Itās also hard to detect much of an overlap in character, considering Durga shares neither the sexual nor astral role. Even the association with warfare doesnāt really seem to have a particularly similar context. Thereās obviously also the question why would Ishtar, not attested east of Susa in any period as far as I am aware, spread so far to the east at a time when Mesopotamian religion was already doing pretty poorly even back at home. As I mentioned previously, there is a possibility that the lion-riding form of Durga was an iconographic type directly borrowed from the Kushan version of Nanaya, though (accepted as a possibility by D. Potts and J. G. Westenholz). That would be as close as it gets to a connection between Durga and Ishtar: one of the theories about the origin of the distinct new image of Nanaya is that it was a late derivative of the Neo-Assyrian convention of depicting Ishtar(s) standing (but not riding the way Nanaya does in Central Asian art) on the back of a lion. However, itās also distinctly possible that this iconographic type was instead borrowed from Hellenistic depictions of Dionysus or Cybele. The strength of theory 1 is obviously the well attested connection between Ishtar and Nanaya, the strength of theory 2 - arguably the more similar poses.Ā I included relevant sources in the wiki article already so I hope it's ok if I'll skip repeating the list here.
I will note that based on Rodriguesā article, the similarity of the possible early Durga to Central Asian depictions of Nanaya is not quite as close as I previously assumed. The attributes are different (vajra and shield or banner), and the North Indian goddess has between four and eight arms. In Nanayaās case, eight arms would be unheard of, four is the maximum, and most of the four-armed examples are from Sogdia and Chorasmia; Kushan Nanaya generally lacks extra body parts. Furthermore, the lion seems to be optional, while the motif of the buffalo fight is apparently a mainstay. I still think influence is entirely possible, but I think some Nanaya researchers (like Potts, who generally went a bit too far and also looked for Nanaya on BMAC seals...), despite their overall credibility, might have slightly exaggerated the similarity. For what itās worth, Rodrigues doesnāt bring the possible Nanaya parallels up at all, he only notes the clothing of the possible proto-Durga fits Kushan artistic conventions." Anyway, Nanaya digression aside. Iād hazard a guess the online claims of Ishtar-Durga connection are mostly misreadings of the proposed iconographic link between Nanaya and Durga or uncritical reliance on Asko Parpola (who also misinterprets Nanaya as Ishtar, lol). I have yet to find a single study of Durga which would as much as mention it. As for the history of contacts between Mesopotamia and India in general, there's a recent summary here (there's great critical evaluation of a selection of dodgy sources on p. 34; I think some of the rest might be -too- skeptical; in particular wrt Nanaya, as far as I am aware the notion of eastwards transfer is the consensus view and one source from the 1960s is not strong evidence on the contrary. I also have some qualms about the discussion of Enkidu but that's unrelated to the core topic here).
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SET FOUR - ROUND ONE - MATCH THREE
"Khajuraho Group of Monuments" (c. 885-1000) / "Ranakpur Jain Temple" (1437 - commissioned by Darna Shah)
KHAJURAHO GROUP OF MONUMENTS: alright so obviously the carvings of these temple floor me. they are absolutely stunning and intricate!!!
although khajuraho has much more to it than its erotic nature the thing i love about this picture are these particular carvings. they give a small glimpse of how sex wasnt a stigma back then.
espl because now sex is something that is considered to 'make you stray further from god', it is big deal that it was depicted on temples! (and obviously it shouldnt be)āEven the Kama (sex) scenes, when seen in combination of sculptures that precede and follow, depict the spiritual themes such as moksha (the transcendent state attained as a result of being released from the cycle of rebirth.). This state which is ālike a man and woman in close embraceā is a symbol of moksa, final release or reunion of two principles, the essence (Purusha) and the nature (Prakriti). Sourceā (anonymous)
RANAKPUR JAIN TEMPLE: speechless really. the carving holy shit. holy fucking shit. again, you cant portray the grand splendour of an entire place in a single picture, but i think this one describes it the best. i am utterly in awe. espl. espl. because they were built in 15th century. cant imagine how much hard work went into building these!Ā (anonymous)
("Khajuraho Group of Monuments" was a group of 85 Hindu and Jain temples, spread over 20 sq km (7.7 sq mi); today, only about 25 temples have survived, spread over six sq km (2.3 sq mi). They are located in Chhatarpur, Madhya Pradesh, India.
"Ranakpur Jain Temple" is a temple located in Ranakpur, Rajasthan, India. It is made of white marble and covers area over 4800 sq ft. It was built with the aid of Rana Khumba, ruler of Mewar.)
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hello hello!! here for the tarot game, thank u for doing this <33
my question is on the travel section, i've always had these places in my bucket list to visit : new york, london, italy and rajasthan and etc, but i'd like your and your cards thoughts on where i should travel to soon, from the list or completely different, i'd love to be surprised! (and perhaps when to visit? fall, summer or winter!)
thank you!!
š«¶š¾ Youāre welcome š«¶š¾
My intuition says New York, but letās clarify with the cards. Visiting New York could be a rewarding experience for you, as I believe you would have numerous activities in mind and a well-structured itinerary. It seems like a place where you would feel secure and find a sense of tranquility. However, one downside might be the tendency to exceed your budget. I think spring or summer would be the ideal seasons. Traveling to London can be challenging, particularly when trying to avoid delays and setbacks. However, successfully navigating these obstacles can lead to a sense of accomplishment and personal growth. While in London, you may find opportunities for healing and fulfillment, but it's essential to manage your expectations, as travel issues are likely to arise. Despite these potential frustrations, the journey can be a great way to alleviate stress and tension in your life. Summer is the ideal season for this trip. Traveling to Italy can rejuvenate your spirit and offer an active experience filled with fulfilling activities. It may also encourage spontaneity, leading to impulsive adventures. However, this approach might not be financially wise, as you could end up losing money or falling victim to scams and overspending. Additionally, you might face emotional challenges, feeling drained or struggling with balance during your trip. Rajasthan offers a sense of balance and clarity, making you feel aligned with your desires. The allure of this destination is captivating, promising an intriguing experience that may bring good news during your visit. However, planning the trip could present challenges, including delays and financial hurdles, which might require time and effort to overcome before you can embark on your journey.
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Ted Lasso 3x010 International Break
Since I haven't seen these screencaps anywhere yet -
Nathan stops and looks at the Indian miniature paintings on his parents' wall, an egret and a god I think. Since Maria was from Rajasthan, it makes sense that they'd get some art from Jaipur on a trip there. Speaking of which, that beach photo looks Indian, or possibly Caribbean? Hard to say for sure, but the general vibe of dog etc feels not British beach. And then he has two older male cousins, from the look of the photo in the fields.
The magicians hat and scarves are of course a nod to Nick Mohammed's own skills.
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Since summer is coming to my part of the world it got me thinking... how is the heat tolerance for these guys? Or do they get sunburns easily? Travelling is fun and games until you start to feel ill from the heat!
hehe this q is very topical bc in oao it's mid spring now, n they'll be in rajasthan soon.. nearing the start of summer........ one of these bitches is gonna pass out from heat stroke (to be clear this was. poor planning on my part <3 i am not looking at calendars for my own life (is this why i am consistently missing deadlines.. perhaps) and im definitely not looking at them for fanfiction)
remus gets sleepy <3 so soooo sleepy. he is already asleep on his feet most of the time, but in the heat !! he's stumbling around, barely coherent. good luck holding a proper convo w that guy <3 he'll just blink sleepily at u w his big tired cow eyes
sirius on the other hand enjoys the warmth! for a time........ but he is pale :-( and once he starts feeling sizzled n too hot n overstimulated he gets cranky and tries to pick fights. he wrestled a child for a soft toy bc he was in a bad mood, so u best believe he'd wrestle one for an ice cream or a sip of cool water
together!! well. remus likes it when s gets fired up. he thinks it is cute sexy n charming. so depending on the situation it could result in a silly argument (which results in hot sweaty sex (the only thing 2 rouse r from his sleepy state) followed by a long cold shower). but they also kinda balance each other out <3 sleepy r is agreeable and just wants to do whatever makes s happy, and r's placidity soothes s. soulmates..... :o)))
(in wiwhw this is reversed;;;; wiwhw remus hates the heat and gets snippy and bitchy nd has public meltdowns <3 wiwhw sirius is privately charmed by r's behaviour, and is v good about it n gets remus out of the heat and cooled down. picture r curled up in a cool dark spot, with sirius pinning his curls up so that they're out of his eyes, n then handing him his favourite cold drink <33 babes)
#oao#pigeon post#also. anon i am soooo sorry this is so late <3 my ask box is where messages go to die fr
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hi! I was going through your posts on textiles and embroidery (very beautiful btw, as a desi myself I didnt know about a lot of the histoy you provided haha) and i was wondering why so many embroidery styles originate in rajhastan? was that like a textile or fashion hub by chance
I think Rajasthan being a desert land is the real reason. The Rajasthani people have always adopted bright colors, flashy patterns and lurid embroidery to stand out from the dullness of the barren desert landscape, with lots of mirror and metallic work to reflect the sun. It reflects in their clothing as well as home decorations, architecture etc.
#its so interesting how climate and georgraphy is reflected in textiles#rajasthan is one of the textile hubs but its not the only one#thanks btw. if you want to know more about it ill happily recommend books :)#š¦
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why the hell was hotel management such a popular course in India in the 2000s ??? was there a boom in the hospitality sector?? how did it practically vanish by the 2010s??? are all those people unemployed now??? I need answers š
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i think itās still there?? ik that in rajasthan it is bc of the oberoi villas being the top tier place everyone in hotel management wants to work in (big 3 but they the big 3 itself) and the other superior hotels (there was even a documentary 3eps abt it recently and how it begins for them)
oh lmao i had no idea it was still relevant šin my part of the country i never hear of it anymore but it had a major phase in the 2000s and was the hot course for a moment idk whyyy,, i guess tourism + hospitality became big in the 2000s in post LPG india?? and they needed more people working in it?? but its not exactly the most lucrative market either and scope for growth is limited, esp in the air bnb economy, so i guess that market crashed a while ago but big players like oberoi, taj, leela etc remain relevant
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āI often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day. ā
- Vincent Van Gogh
In frame , a full moon night . I often sit and look at the moon and itās beauty and wonder how wonderful and strange is it that the fact no matter how hard we try we never succeed in clicking a picture on the moon showing it the same way we see it off camera . I find myself thinking how somethings are meant to see and just to simply see at that moment .
We often click pictures of the moments to cherish in the future but what we miss out is simply living in the present . Every-time I look up in the sky and look at the moon , it reminds of simply living at the moment and not run behind saving the moment for the future .
Photo by - Disha
Location - Pushkar, Rajasthan
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Another Bollywood happily ever after..
āAb humhari permanent booking hogayi hain..ā
Just married - Kiara Advani | Sidharth Malhotra
Jaisalmer, Rajasthan
Bride and groom both wearing Manish Malhotra (jewlery + outfit). Photography NOT by Joseph Radnik I think bc I see heās in Udaipur rn not Jaisalmer but maybe he took the photos then left lol
#kiara advani#sid malhotra#sidharth malhotra#desi wedding#indian bride#indian wedding#shaadi#bollywood wedding#dulhan#indianbride#south asian wedding#jaisalmer#rajasthan#destination wedding#sidkiara#manish malhotra
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really not great photographs but I saw these depictions of Portugese Goan couples (from the forehead mark and general historical context, probably more what would come to be termed half-castes- Portugese father, Indian mother) in the Maharana of Mewars palace in Udaipur, Rajasthan a few days ago. Super interesting to think that the Mughals actually arrived in India a few decades after the Portugese did! And that initially at least, European imperialism didn't actually entail a notion of racial superiority or seperateness as it would come to do.
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First post. No further elaboration. Coz why?
Just kidding. I am here to talk today....or to vent, more precisely.
JEE is hard. It's ridiculous. But what's even more ridiculous are the expectations, the burden of honor, and the fear of disappointment and despair ingrained into our values caused due to our inability to cope with the extraordinary expectations, after we get into the toppers group.
I worked hard to get into the 'good kids' group. Then I got demotivated after a single failure coz I'm fucking weak, and now am procrastinating.
"Plenty of people finished 11 and 12 in class 9 and 10. They only practice and take mock tests for the 2 years of secondary higher education. So if you don't atleast finish 12 within 11, you'll never crack JEE. And anything without IIT CSE is meaningless when you are in JEE." āMom
"You can't even rank first in the small area that we live in? What are you gonna do in JEE where competition is at national level?" āMom, after I scored 207/300 and ranked 6th at my local coaching centre in my first JEE Main Mock test with Kinematics, mole concept, periodic table, trigonometry as topics.
And the thing is, I can't even protest her words, after all, the 1st rank scored 264 and the 2nd rank scored 246. With such a huge difference, I can't even argue. Since more is expected from me as I am supposedly a kid who is wasting away my potential as a someone who can become a JEE top ranker.
"What? You only answered 252? You couldn't even answer 300? You know right how much your marks will be considering your poor 90% accuracy rate? It will go down to minimum of 220s. I am quite disappointed."
This is the 2nd mock test I am talking about, the result hasn't been declared yet. But this exam was said to be especially hard with the insanely tough maths section and mid hard chem questions. The 1st ranker dude from last time answered 230s this time, and the 2nd ranker answered 256. The 3rd ranker, who is actually one of the best prospect in our entire class 11 batch in the whole state, answered 284 but he's quite sad because apparently he will get a lot of negatives. I am expecting 3rd or 2nd rank this time but I think life's gonna gimme lemons as always.
This is what I go through as a JEE aspirant. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. It's toxic at this point. I am in a rat race that I can't even escape like in other countries, considering even self help opportunities such as working at fast food chains or something, for minors here are considered trash of the society. We aren't free here, we don't have the opportunity to experience the world and explore my options to find out what I am good at. There's only three options. Doctor, engineer, lawyer. This might sound funny because of the stereotype vids on YouTube about Asians. But it's not funny. Many of us can't handle the pressure and commit suicide. Kota, a city in Rajasthan known for being a hotspot of coaching centres, is also stereotyped for being the Indian version of Japan's suicide forest, except it's exclusively for kids. Others go to depression and fall into the abyss of gambling and drugs.
The education system here has lost it's purpose. It has become an elitist system where the only way of survival is either your own talent or your backing. If you don't have either, you're better off being a lowest ranking member of the society succumbing to the higher ranks.
1:46 AM in the morning, I am sitting here writing this post thinking if anybody could say something that would turn my life around. This is more of a silent cry for help instead of something new to share with the world. I am sitting here in vain thinking there might be some magic trick to success here when I deep down know there doesn't exist one. And thus, I fall into this deep rabbit hole, all in my know. I want to stop this spiraling vortex of abyss inside myself that is erasing my existence. But I'm not trying. It's as if I have been mentally and spiritually paralysed.
I have realised something as conclusion. Life is drowning in reality, but the hellish standards that we have here in India are the sandbags that are tied to our feet in this already suffocative water, with no end of depth, we keep drowning and going deeper and deeper. I'm not happy. I want to break out. But I can't. This is painful. I hope it stops. But again, I know it won't, resulting in only pushing myself deeper into the abyss because of my hope being shattered. Hope is becoming dangerous by the day for me.
Am I the only one?
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