#in other words: shit happened today because i was overwhelmed and annoyed and i was going to make a vent post about that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

star-girl69 · 10 months ago

Text

Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

��Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

888 notes · View notes

cherryflavoured7777 · 1 year ago

Text

Do you miss me, dear? [h.c]

Summary: Stuck at a graduation party, surrounded by memories of your past relationship and your own loneliness, your night takes an unexpected turn when you find yourself dialing the number of the one person you vowed you wouldn't contact.

Pairing: College!Hazel x College!Fem!Reader

Contains: smut 18+ only, explicit language, drinking, smoking, mutual pining, slightly toxic reader I think, fingering (r! receiving), oral(r! receiving), break-up/make-up sex, idiots in love, this one gets straight-up MUSHY I’m not gonna lie

Word count: 4.1k

a/n: I just need to say I am deeply obsessed with all of you who interacted with either of my last two fics. reading your comments/ replies seriously makes me SO happy you have no idea. Got me giggling and shit fr! I don’t know why my writing always ends up including partying and drinking but maybe it’s because I just graduated college and am having an existential post-grad crisis. Anyway 💀I hope you enjoy and thank you again for reading!!!

Also, this is inspired by this song by one of my favourite bands:

“I don’t know what I’m still doing here.” You say out loud to yourself, standing up from the musty green couch you were sitting on. An empty beer bottle falls from the cushion onto the ground, shattering into pieces beside your foot.

This party sucked. Pushing your way through the crowded, stuffy kitchen, you couldn't shake off the feeling of suffocation. Tipsy couples entangled in each other's arms seemed to be everywhere, a painful reminder of what you once had and lost. The memories of being that annoying person in love at a party flooded back, amplifying the ache of your loneliness.

The thumping music in your ears only made your head pound harder. Desperate for a breath of fresh air, you stumbled toward the door, ignoring the intoxicated laughter and clinking glasses that filled the air. As you stepped outside, the cool night breeze hit your face, offering a momentary rescue from the overwhelming atmosphere inside.

The darkness of the night sky above seemed to swallow you whole, but it felt strangely comforting. Leaning against the porch railing, you closed your eyes, trying to regain your composure. In the silence outside, you could hear distant laughter and the faint sound of music, muffled by the walls of the house.

You settled into a seat around a glass table, next to a guy you recognized from one of your classes. You exchanged a quick nod of acknowledgment before reaching into your purse, retrieving a box of cigarettes. Smoking was not a regular habit for you, but you reserved it for moments like these—after a few drinks and a growing sense of irritation.

You lit the end of the cigarette, watching it crackle, and took a long drag. As you exhaled the smoke, you tilted your head back, noticing the full moon glowing brightly above.

"Full moon tonight," the boy beside you remarked, his voice carrying a note of intrigue. "They say some crazy shit can happen on full moons."

You chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, well, that could explain why I'm stuck at this party right now."

He leaned back, studying you intently.

“I wish I could be an astronaut and get the fuck out of here.” You mused, gaze fixed on the bright glow of the moon. "I only came to this party because she said she would be here." Another drag of the cigarette punctuated your words.

"Who's she?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"My ex," you replied, trying to seem nonchalant. His gaze was fixed on you, "Hazel."

Until today, you hadn't spoken to Hazel in over three months, choosing to cut off all contact in an attempt to speed up the process of moving on. You're both surprised that you managed to endure the silence for so long, and disappointed that she hasn't made any effort to reach out, not even once.

That was until about six hours ago when you were sitting at a coffee shop on campus with your roommate, Brittany, studying for your upcoming statistics exam.

"Don't look now, but Hazel just walked in," she whispers, her tone hushed, and her eyes widening. "And she's with another girl."

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were seated with your back to the door, and you watched as they both approached the corner, heading in your direction.

"Brittany!" the blonde girl accompanying Hazel exclaims, leaving the three of you momentarily stunned.

Hazel follows a few steps behind, clearly taken aback by the encounter. She looked annoyingly hot, her disheveled brown hair, baggy white t-shirt and black jeans, adorned with her signature silver chains and rings. It takes all your strength not to stare.

"Hey, Amanda," Brittany replied, forcing a polite smile. "Hazel."

Hazel offers a nod in greeting to Brittany and then to you. You feel like a middle-schooler again, awkward and unsure of how to act around your crush.

"Did you manage to finish that paper for Professor Sharpe's class?" the girl asked.

As Brittany carries on the conversation with Amanda, you can feel Hazel's gaze on you, catching her eyes occasionally.

You never anticipated the aftermath of your breakup with Hazel to be this awkward. All those nights spent tangled up together, where you both believed you could read each other's minds, now reduced to this.

"So, Hazel, are you going to Emma’s graduation party tonight? All of us are going," Brittany chimed in, attempting to steer the conversation away from the obvious tension.

Hazel smiled sheepishly, replying, "Yeah, I’m going."

"Cool," Brittany replied, her smile masking the underlying awkwardness in the air.

A beat of uncomfortable silence hung between you all.

"Will you be there?" Hazel asked breaking the silence, turning toward you, her voice almost hesitant.

"Yeah, I'll be there," you said, mustering a small smile. "Wouldn’t want to miss it."

Hazel smiled, "Cool," she said, her voice soft, "I'll see you there then."

Just as the atmosphere began to ease, Amanda abruptly intervened, her grip firm on Hazel's hand. "Hazel, let’s go, I forgot something in my car," Amanda said, her tone strangely possessive, and she dragged Hazel away before you could utter another word.

This breadcrumb of information has led you here. You spent the first fifteen minutes at the party searching for her like a lost puppy. When you couldn't find her, you contemplated leaving but opted to drown your thoughts with tequila shots instead. Now, you're clinging to any scrap of attention you can find, desperately trying to purge her from your mind.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the male voice beside you. "D’you have a light?" he asked, his cigarette aimed in your direction. You stare at him for a moment, deadpan, still frozen in your thoughts from the events that unfolded earlier today.

"Fuck it," you muttered under your breath, reaching for your phone. You’re calling her.

“You’re soaked,” Hazel says as you climb into the front seat of her car, her tone a mix of concern and annoyance. “Seriously, you’re getting mud all over the floor of my car.” While you were waiting for Hazel to pick you up from the party, It started raining, you thought enduring it outside would be better than being stuffed in that small house full of people you didn't even really know.

“You lied.” You retort back.

“What?”

“You said you were coming to the party.”

“Yeah well, my plans changed. Put your seatbelt on.” As she shifted the car into reverse, she placed her hand on your seat to steady herself. With a quick glance over your shoulder, she backed out of the driveway in one brisk movement.

You attempted to keep your composure, trying not to make it entirely obvious that you were basically drooling over how hot she looked doing that.

“I can tell that there’s someone else,” You say after a few moments of silence, trying to disguise your jealousy with innocent curiosity. “Come on, tell me,” You finally click your seatbelt into place. “I can take it well.”

"Oh, I know you can," she replied, shooting you a smug look, trying to divert this conversation from getting too deep right now.

“Hazel.” You groan at her dumb attempt at an innuendo, throwing your head backward and hitting the headrest. “Just be honest. Is it the girl from the coffee shop earlier? Or what about the girl Isabel saw you with last week at the library? Or both? Who am I kidding, there’s probably even more than that.”

“Do you have like, personal spies assigned to watch over me?”

You don’t respond right away, deciding to avoid her questions like she’s avoiding yours. You crank the window open and throw your head out. The spring wind cool on your face.

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

She’s quiet for a moment.

Look, I know I wasn't where I said I'd be, but I was busy, doing stuff," she replied defensively.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your words tinged with a hint of anger. "I'm sure you were."

You sit the next few minutes in silence, wondering if this whole thing was a bad idea. You couldn't pinpoint why you had called her in the first place. The intensity of seeing her earlier mixed with the disappointment of the lackluster party had left you missing her, even though you weren't entirely sure why.

"So, where am I taking you?" Hazel asked, her gaze shifting from the road to you. Strands of her brown hair were tousled by the wind.

Your buzz had faded, and with it, your initial courage waned. Swallowing hard, you hesitated before speaking. "Can I sleep at yours? Not— not like that," you hurriedly clarified, feeling a sudden need to explain. "It's just that Brittany has her new boyfriend over, and I could go back there, but I don’t really want to."

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

After a moment, Hazel hesitantly rested her hand on your thigh, both of you aware of the significance of the touch, even if neither acknowledged it. Her fingers gave a gentle squeeze, the subtle pressure made your tummy flip. Beneath the surface, an unspoken understanding lingered, hinting that this night might entail more than just a ride home.

Hazel's apartment is full of brown moving boxes, an aching reminder of why you broke up in the first place.

“Wow, this place is pretty much all packed up.” You say, slowly walking through the place, eventually landing at the doorway into her bedroom.

She nods in response, her face reflecting a mixture of anticipation and sadness, settling down at the end of her bed.

"So, when do you leave?" The question weighed heavily on your heart as you voiced it. You wished you didn't have to ask these questions, yearning for a time when you were part of her plans, not just a spectator.

“Two weeks. My Aunt is gonna meet me at JFK and help me move into my new place.”

You sighed, feeling brave, "I wish I had the date circled on my calendar, helping you move, or going with you." You say the last part quiet, mostly to yourself.

The conversation lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

You walked over to her dresser, where a mirror was propped up, decorated with photos of you two from a photobooth, still clinging to the glass. Your heart swelled with mixed emotions.

Hazel says your name, breaking you from your trance.

“Come here,” she says.

You walk over slowly, standing between her legs. Your hands rest on her shoulders and you take a deep breath.

With both of your gazes locked, her hands came up behind your thighs, gently grabbing them and pulling them on either side of her one by one so you’re straddling her. Her hand comes up to brush a piece of hair from your face.

“You’re so beautiful, baby” Her voice is barely a whisper as she stares up at you, her eyes practically shimmering with your reflection, Her hands settle on your waist, the warmth of her touch sending a pang of guilt through you. This breakup was unlike any you'd experienced before, and the raw emotions lingered, making you hesitate for a moment.

Your hands move up to cradle her face, your thumb dragging on her bottom lip. Still maintaining intense eye contact, you slowly slip your finger into her mouth, watching her with a mix of awe and longing.

The silence as you stare at each other is anything but awkward. It was charged with the weight of shared mourning, each of you navigating the complexity of a relationship's end.

You removed your finger, and in response, she grabbed your head gently, guiding it down towards her face, her eyes locked onto yours. Your lips barely grazed each other, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she could hear your rapid heartbeat. Hazel kissed you slowly at first, the touch of her lips sending a rush through your entire body. It quickly escalated, and there was a certain neediness to the way you both kissed, scared it could be the last time.

"Missed you," She whispered against your lips. Your mouths slid together, tongues pressing and exploring. The intensity of the kiss speaks volumes, like you were making up for lost time. Her lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, lingering kisses, setting your body on fire.

“Fuck, Hazel.” It was almost embarrassing how quickly you melted beneath her touch. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” You say, your voice strained, a soft moan escaping your lips. You very much wanted to be doing this, you just thought you should at least try to seem like you had stronger breakup morals than you did. Her hands found the curve of your ass, and you instinctively started to rock your hips slowly back and forth, seeking some much-needed friction.

"Do you want me to stop? Say the word, and I'll stop, pretty girl," she murmured against your neck, her open-mouthed kisses and gentle suction on your pulse point sending shivers down your spine. You didn't reply with words, but your fingers found her hair, silently urging her to continue. "I need an answer, babygirl,"

"Don't stop," you breathed, your voice catching in your throat. "Please, don't stop." Your hips still lazily moving on her. Her mouth was back on yours, deepening the kiss as she guided you both down, her hands roaming over the back of your legs and your ass. She tugged at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of it and leaving you in your black lace bra.

"So fucking perfect. Missed you so fucking much," she confessed,

"I missed you too, Haze, every day," you whined,

"You ever think about me? she asked, breathless. "About this?" she continued

You nodded, your breath hitching as you confessed, "All the time. Couldn't stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth."

Her eyes darken as you sit up and effortlessly unhook your bra, leaning back down, your lips finding their way to her collarbone, marking a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along her skin. Your hands slowly creep their way up under her shirt, seeking permission. She nods, a silent affirmation, and you gently peel her shirt off over her head. Your stomach flips as you feel her arms effortlessly turn both of you over, trading places, landing on your back as she hovers over you. Her silver chain dangling above your face. It felt like your first time all over again, you felt a sense of shyness creeping over you under her gaze. Anticipation and excitement blooming in your chest.

“Fuck, look at you.” She says. The way she’s studying you makes you feel like the most beautiful thing to ever exist, as if every curve of your body is a masterpiece deserving of praise. Unable to contain your impatience, you pull her head down to meet your lips, your hips instinctively bucking up, frustration showing in the heated moment. Her fingers start to trail downwards under your skirt, meeting your clothed cunt. “You want me to fuck you? Hm?” She whispers in your ear, “Is that what you want baby?” She taunts, her fingers slowly grazing over your underwear.

You nod vigorously, your enthusiasm evident. She responds by sucking on your neck again, sending shivers down your spine, your face flushed with heat. Your hands instinctively tug at her hair.

“Yes, Haze, please, fuck.” You arch your neck, pressing it firmly into the softness of the pillow beneath, a small gasp escaping your lips as you surrender to the moment. “Want your fingers inside of me.”

She makes a noise of desperation, her warm breath fanning over your face. “Gonna make you feel so good baby” She moves your underwear to the side, running her fingers through your slick folds. You gasp and she groans. “Wanna make it up to you.”

She tugs at the waistband of your skirt. You lift your hips as she guides it down along with your underwear. Hazel curses under her breath, “You’re so wet, it’s so fucking hot.” She plants kisses all over your chest, each one feeling like it could set you on fire.

She slowly fucks you with her middle finger, the touch leaving you reeling. She adds her ring finger, her free hand snaking under your neck. Her fingers gently grab the side of your face while she fucks you, slightly tugging and grazing them against your parted lips. It's an intimate gesture, conveying both tenderness and desire.

Your hips buck up to meet her fingers. “Holy fuck” you groan as she pumps them faster into you. “Like that,” your voice is completely shot. Your entire body fizzed from the contact. You gently bite down on her fingers near your mouth while she places kisses all over your cheeks and your lips. Your head spun with thoughts of her - her mouth, her hair, her scent, Hazel was everywhere, all-encompassing.

“Fuck, you’re so good” She half slurs, her voice wrecked, pupils blown and her lips parted. “So good for me.” She whispers, keeping her pace, dragging her digits through the wetness at your core.

Her mouth makes its way down your body, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses until she’s on her stomach between your thighs. Pumping faster, her lips suck at your clit. Her other hand presses down on your abdomen, holding you in place. You cup your aching tits, feeling them move with every motion she makes.

“Hazel,” you whine, “Haze, I-” Her fingers pick up the pace, curling inside of you. You tread your fingers through her hair, tugging slightly, the coil in your tummy growing tighter and tighter.

“I know, honey, I know,” She says in response to your moans. “You sound so pretty baby, missed those sounds so much.” She keeps babbling, telling you how good you are and how pretty you look for her.

“Fuck, don’t stop” you moan as she continues fucking you with her mouth and fingers, her pace alternating between teasing and fast, pushing you toward the edge. The contrast in her movements intensifies the pleasure, almost giving you want you want but flaking at the last moment, it’s torture.

“Shit, you’re almost there sweetheart” Hazel swears under her breath, voice laced with her own arousal. Her words drive you closer to the edge. You swear you can see stars as the overwhelming feeling shocks through your body. Your heart rate picks up immensley, pounding in your chest.

“Gonna come for me baby, yeah?” “Want you to come all over these fingers.”

And you did. Your body clenches around her fingers, trembling, moans and curses spilling from your lips. Your eyes form with tears from the overstimulation. Her face landed in the crook of your neck, planting sloppy kisses and whispering reassurances as she guides you through the climax.

“Good girl, that’s it, honey. That’s it,” she murmurs.

Her fingers still slowly pumping in and out of you, riding out your high.

“Holy shit," you say once you've caught your breath. "Haze, c'mere." She lifts her head back up and you yank her face down to yours, tasting yourself on her lips as she lets out a soft moan. When you eventually pull away, both breathless, you lock eyes before bursting into disbelieving laughter.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You whisper.

"I can," she says smugly. You playfully shove her before she collapses beside you. Both of you lie face to face, studying each other's features, committing them to memory, afraid you might forget what they look like. Her hand rests on your waist, mindlessly grazing up and down.

"What's the real reason you didn't come to the party? You ask. Were you with someone else?" Hazel shakes her head.

She pauses before speaking, "I thought if there was any chance of you being there, that I was gonna walk in and maybe see you with someone else. There was no way I could've handled that. I've been distracting myself with other girls, yeah, but..." Her voice trails off. "You have no idea how in love with you I still am." Her voice cracking with emotion. You can see a tear forming in Hazel’s eye, glimmering in the low light of the room.

“Hazel..” Your own voice slightly breaking. You reach out and drag your thumb delicately against her cheek, wiping the stray tear away. Your heart is breaking with a mixture of guilt and longing for the girl lying beside you.

“I still play pretend, in my head.” She whispers.

You smile, your hand resting on her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze, a signal of encouragement for her to keep going.

“I picture us, living together in our apartment in the city.”

Hazel was moving to New York City to work for her aunt after graduation. The reason you broke up, neither of you wanting to do long distance.

“Waking up next to you everyday, cooking you breakfast, fucking you on the countertop for hours” You both laugh at that. “Ever since I met you, I’ve always pictured you just being there. And these past few months…”

“Absolute hell.” You finish for her.

“Absolute hell.” She agrees.

You take her hand and squeeze it, a silent form of reassurance.

She shifts slightly and hovers over you again, brushing your damp hair off your forehead with her hand, and scans your face. “I don’t want this to end” she whispers.

You wish you could capture this moment, tuck it away, and replay it whenever you wanted. You’ve been waiting for her to say these exact words for the past three months, you just never thought it would happen. The reason for your break-up still heavily taunts the back of your mind.

“I love you” you reply, your voice barely a whisper. Taking her face in your hand and capturing her in another kiss. She kisses you sweetly and desperately.

You pull away, gently coaxing her back towards you, and cuddle her into your chest, assuming the role of the big spoon.

She nestles into your arms, finding comfort in the warmth of your body. With a soft sigh, she murmurs, "I wish we had more time.”

You tighten your hold around her, "We'll figure something out, I promise," you whisper, though you aren’t even sure of the reality of your own words. You choose to let go of the uncertainties, preferring to revel in the present moment. She looks back at you, and you kiss her forehead, a silent promise to cherish what you have, even if time feels fleeting.

“God damn full moon.” You mutter to yourself, remembering your earlier conversation at the party.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.” You kiss her shoulder, settling into the softness of the moment.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

tagging @astroph1les @vster0769

#hazel callahan #bottoms 2023 #hazel callahan imagine #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms movie #hazel bottoms #hazel callahan fanfic #ruby cruz #wlw #sapphic #Spotify

623 notes · View notes

mandiemegatron · 1 year ago

Text

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 ℍ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕤

𝙴𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝙺𝚒𝚍 𝚡 𝚈/𝙽 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚝

Eustass being a bully, Y/N being a silly goose by having 3 brain cells, soft adoration and love because our boy deserves it! We love him!

A/N: I've been mulling around with this for the past few days so I finally beta'd and finished it up today so I hope you all enjoy !! Something a bit softer this time around, I was in my feels and this is what happened lmao 😭🙈 if you see any mistakes, no you fuckin don't!! 🥰

Enjoy, my cute lil tangerines! 💖💖💖✨️✨️✨️

It was a quiet night, thankfully. Most days on the Victoria were rowdy, overwhelming and drunken, so for it was a blessing in disguse for the night to be so quiet for you. You leaned on the railing of the ship, eyes watching the moon lit waters as a content sigh left you. 'How peaceful,' you thought, bringing your beer to your lips.

You'd just finished your beer when you suddenly heard a shout from behind you, turning from your spot at the railing to see your redheaded Captain stomping his way over to you, a confused but amused grin washing over your face as you asked,

"The hell's wrong with you?"

The second he got close enough, he reached out and flicked you in the forehead with his warm hand. You couldn't dodge in time and yelped at the sudden pain, reaching up to cover the spot as you gave him the finger with your other hand.

"You cocksucker, what the fuck was that for!"

He gave a quick, sharp laugh and yelled back,

"I was standin' over there SHOUTING for you for years, you deaf-ass bitch!"

Your eyes narrowed as an even more confused expression came over you, your tone annoyed and accusing as you bit back,

"Oi! It's not that I'm deaf, I was just zoned out - AND besides the point! Why didn't you just come over here instead of shouting at me like a fucking child?!"

He gave you the finger and barked back,

"Fuck you, you were ignorin' me and I don't appreciate that shit!"

It took you a moment to collect yourself but after a few breaths, realization kicked in as you asked,

"You seriously thought I was ignoring you? Kid... come on man."

Your Captain also took a moment, crossing his mismatched arms over his chest as he huffed. He watched you the entire time, watching as you fiddled with your empty bottle and finally spoke when your gaze softened.

"Uh... yeah? I was fuckin' screamin', Y/N."

You ran a nervous hand over your face and sighed, giving a slight nod as you accepted your fault.

"I'm sorry Captain. I really was just so into the silence that I just... tuned everything else out."

You glanced up at him with a tight smile, hoping he could see how genuine your apology was.

"...Forgive me?"

He scowled at you for a good few minutes, your heart pounding in your chest as an uneasy feeling came over you, your smile twitching as you wondered if he was actually mad enough to keep yelling or if he'd stomp away like a child like he usually did when you fought.

Surprisingly, when he did neither, your anxiety washed away with a sigh through your nose, grinning at his response of,

"Ah, I uh - I'm sorry, you brat. I just, I want your fuckin' attention, and it pisses me right the fuck off when I don't get it."

You couldn't help but give a soft "aww, Eustass..." as you closed the space between you, wrapping your arms around his middle and squishing your face to his chest as his arms wrapped around you warmly. You hugged him tight for a moment before pulling away to look up at him, your eyes bright and honest as you reminded him,

"You know you always have my attention. Sometimes though, it takes more than words to grab it but that's not your fault, it's mine. It's hard to pay attention to anything outwards when you're so... inwards, I guess." Your words grew soft by the end, a small frown on your lips. It was hard to explain but judging by how Kid was staring down at you, you had a feeling he understood to an extent.

"I'm sorry, lover. How can I make it up to you?"

His eyes suddenly glinted with mischief at your words, his hands moving down to cup your ass tightly, pulling a surprised "Oi!" from you as he almost purred out,

"You can apologize on your knees."

Your body vibrated at his words, pupils blowing wide as your breath catches in your throat. This was the man you loved, the one to take charge and tell you exactly what he wanted and how. You must have had a look on your face because that stupid, shit eating grin he always wore when he won something slid over his features in an instant.

"Sound good, lover?"

His tone was mocking as he said the word, his fleshy fingers gripping at you with an intensity the fueled the fire inside you.

"Y-yeah, sounds good."

The next thing your mind registers is the soft bed in the Captains room, his warm mouth nipping and devouring you from the outside in. You're both naked, hands roaming over skin as his name falls from your lips as you consume each other, body heart and soul.

His eyes are so gentle as he presses into you, his warm hand cupping your cheek as you hiss at the sudden filling pain, the sound turning to a soft moan as you shift your hips to grind against his.

The way he breathes out your name, pressing the softest kisses to your face and neck as he takes you, your heart overflowing with love for him as it hit you that this was his way of apologizing. Words were never his strong point but his actions more than made up for the lack of verbal communication. Though he teased that you were the one to apologize, he felt he needed to prove that he could accept his faults and be better, for you.

While you had yet to put a label on what you two had, this moment solidified your already immovable loyalty to him as you poured your heart out to him, sobbing into his shoulder as he murmured sweet nothings into your ear. Tears stained his skin as he thrusted into you, hoping to prove to you that he loved you more than anything.

Your foreheads met as you both began to reach the edge, your gaze warm and loving as he kissed you, his lips wordlessly whispering his unashamed adoration to you. He wiped away your tears before gripping your hips tightly, flesh and metal biting into your skin and sending your senses to heaven as you tumbled over the edge, sobbing out his name as your fingers gripped into his shoulders and back.

"Such a beautiful girl, my perfect girl, I love you, God you're so beautiful,"

His words fell from him like the softest prayer you'd ever heard, feeling like your hands would never be big enough to hold all the love he had for you in your palms. You clung to each other as he sloppily thrusted up into you, bringing you closer to a second orgasm as he chased his own high.

Your name met your ears multiple times in a hurried whisper, Kids lips pressing hotly to your collarbone as he jutted into you a few more times, groaning loudly into your bitten and bruised skin. You came with him, your eyes rolling back as you pressed mindless kisses to his shoulder.

The silence was heavy and thick, though comfortable, as you both sat in each others arms, neither of you willing to be the first to move. His thumbs pressed small circles in your hips, his lips pressing into your throat softly, moving up until he took your lips in his. You could feel him shaking and your heart felt like bursting, his energy almost suffocating you with all his unspoken emotions.

It was a while before he finally spoke, his voice the softest you'd ever heard as he asked,

"Did I hurt you?"

You smiled so gently, your expression warm and loving as you responded just as softly,

"No, my love."

His expression brightened at your words, looking like a kid in a candy store as his heart did backflips in his chest. He said nothing, only pulling you back to kiss you deeply, his soft hand tangling into your hair as his metal one remained on your hip.

You both only moved when sleep came knocking. Tucking you into him, he curled around you like a warm cage, desperate to protect you from the outside world. You caved into him, feeling the safest you'd felt in a very long time, knowing in your heart this was where home was.

It wasn't long til you could hear Kid breathing softly, exhaustion slowly overtaking you as your lips pressed soft kisses to whatever skin you could reach. As the darkness overcame you, you swore you heard him murmur,

"I'm gunna marry your crazy ass one day."

But you told yourself that your imagination was just playing tricks, unknowing that his tired eyes watched as you pressed into him as you finally drifted away.

In that moment, Eustass Kid felt like king of the world.

For the first time in his life, he finally felt like he had everything.

I love u all my lil tangerines! Be good ! 💖💖💖✨️✨️✨️✨️ smooches 4 u all 💖💖💖💖

A/N: AWWWW, okay, so I loved writing this I won't lie, the feels were flowing and I felt the need to write something sickly soft for our crazy man. This was so much fun, I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it !

#ok to rb #eustass x reader #eustass kid x reader #eustasscaptainkid #eustass kid #one piece x reader #one piece fluff #one piece fanfiction #mandies mumbles ; fanfics #i loved this !!!!#i love trying something different

243 notes · View notes

dantefreakdaaaa · 1 year ago

Note

Can I request a Johnny Cage fic where him and the reader are together and he’s always like the protector, but she comes through and saves him this time and is like “see I’ve always said I could take care of myself” with some fluff or smut or whatever you want to add!

Johnny cage x reader

fluff

Romantic

Gn reader

A/n: I'm so happy I'm getting johnny requests AAAAA, there's needs to be more fics of him anyways. For context it's the johnny and erron fight but it's past johnny instead of present johnny because past Johnny's silly to write :3 if you like this feel free to request!

---

Johnny always made you sit out in a fight, no matter how many times you told him that you knew how to protect yourself. Due to his overwhelming urge to show off and to protect you, he always made you sit on the sidelines or somewhere safe while he went out to fight. And while it was sweet, it still annoyed you. You knew he was just trying to protect you but being treated like a civilian was no fun.

"Relax, I got this. You don't even need to lift a finger."

"Johnny wait-!"

Before you could finish your sentence, Johnny charged head on into the fight without thinking. Like he always did. And while at first he was doing some damage, after about a minute or so he was flat on his back. Blood poured from his nose and you noticed how scared he was as Erron had a gun pointed to his head.

"Any last words for your fans?"

"uh- shit-..."

Immediately, you rushed over to him and kicked erron to the side before rushing to help Johnny up.

"What are you-!? I told you to let me handle it-!"

"You were gonna die Johnny, not gonna let that happen." You held johnny for a second, examining his wounds before looking over at erron. He was hunched over and trying to stand up.

"just stay here, I'm gonna deal with erron and I'm gonna get you help. Okay?"

"no I got it- let me protect you!" Johnny tried to sit up, coughing as he layed back down.

"you're in no shape to protect me Johnny, look at you! You need to let me handle this."

He looked at you, sighing as he realized he had no other choice.

"fine... but just protect yourself.."

"no, I'm gonna take care of erron and protect you, Johnny." You gently set him down and stood up, noticing that erron had gotten to his feet.

"Thanks for uh... for saving me back there..." Johnny smiled as he tried to think of what words to say. He let you pull him to his feet and he stumbled, almost falling forward.

"No problem, Johnny. Next time you gotta let me help you. I know that you wanna protect me but you also gotta let me protect myself."

"But what if you get hurt? Or- or you die? Or what it-"

"Johnny. I know you're worried about me, but I'm gonna be okay. You need to worry more about yourself. You got hurt pretty bad."

"fine... I guess you're right..." He sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at himself. His clothes were covered in blood, mostly his own.

"now c'mon, this fight isn't over yet."

---

(lazy ending but I wanted to post something today, hope you like it!)

#johnny cage #johnny cage x reader #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat

162 notes · View notes

unhingedselfships · 1 year ago

Text

Kimi sat curled on the couch, still shaking lightly, trying not to slosh the iced chai in her hands.

She’d managed to relay everything that had happened in North Dakota to Daigo. It was jumbled, mind you, a chaotic retelling. But it was all out there.

He’d been so patient, and careful, with her.

Forgiving.

He was more concerned than anything.

He’d left her curled there and gone to grab the kids, at her insistence.

Ophelia, keeping an eye on the fragile woman, plopped herself on the other end of the couch, with the face of a woman who had something to say.

She'd made a speech.

It was long, and probably involved more shouting than she wanted. But the more she stared at Kimi the more the words became a jumbled mess.

"I…" She trailed off and looked at the ceiling so she didn't have to look at the other woman. Her patience was a thin thread that had snapped a long time ago. Now it dangled uselessly, "I'm going to kill him."

It was said with finality.

A part of her already knew Kimi’s answer and she held up a finger to stop her.

"He's killing you. It's only fair he dies first."

He was poison.

Trash.

Dangerous.

The rest of the words died in her throat at the freshly trembling form across from her. The expression was probably similar to the one she showed him. It aggravated her. That she could be doing the same.

But if she could pick up the pieces…

If Daigo and the kids could…well, it might be worth killing him today.

“You’re not killing him. You- No. Leave him alone, Phe. He’s not fucking killing me. You’re so dramatic.”

"So you're fine with dying? Because that's what's going to happen."

She stood up and walked over to the other. She looked so small and broken on the couch.

Petulant. Annoyed. Distressed.

Hurting.

Phe needed to be kind.

Patient.

Be like Daigo.

She walked to Kimi, expression twisting into something, she wasn't sure what.

But Phe wasn't Daigo. She wasn't him.

Truthfully she was probably worse.

"I won't. But when he takes you from me. When he breaks you--" the words came out in a hiss as she leaned down, pressing their foreheads together.

Her fingers dug into her thighs, hard enough she knew they were probably bleeding.

Good.

She deserved it for the shit coming out of her mouth.

"Whether you or the kids or anyone else wants him here. I dont care. I'm going to skin him and make a book out of his bones, love."

Sighing she pressed her lips to the other’s cheek. Whispering softly as she continued. She could do this. She could share.

For now.

"That's the only reason I'm agreeing to this. Because eventually, love, there won't be enough of you to stop me anymore."

“Do you really think so little of me?” Kimi whispered, “Do you really think I’m so weak?”

She looked something between hurt and aggravated.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get over it. Weird shit happened. It’s whatever,” she bordered on snappish.

The patience Phe didn't have vanished, and she pulled away, smiling softly at the other woman.

"You're so very strong."

A hysterical laugh threatened to escape at the words.

She kept her eyes trained on the others expression, afraid if she blinked she'd be the one crying.

"Dime, mi vida. The whole thing. Start to finish. Don't cry. Don't shake. Don't sit on the couch like his broken toy. It's nothing after all, isn't it?"

“I’m not-! I’m not his fucking toy! Toy’s don’t- They don’t have agency! Or feelings! I felt Phe! I felt-” her voice trailed off, a breath, a whisper, “I liked how it felt.”

She looked dazed and overwhelmed.

Lost.

Confused.

Phe listened silently.

Right up until she couldn't.

"Why him?" It was petulant, her voice cracking. "You don't need him to do it then."

The words of why not her were bit back.

"You want him so bad it's fine to end up like this until you get mad I'm mad?"

She rubbed a hand across her face in frustration. This wasn't about her. Inhaling deeply she sighed and flopped beside the other woman.

"Fine. Then what do you want to do next?"

“I’m not mad. I’m frustrated. I just-” she sighs, “I don’t know what I want. I know I- I can’t give him up. Phe I fucking- I might have killed a man, just to keep him. I can’t- I’m not able to let go.”

Phe stared, silent, mullish and tired, and Kimi deflated.

“I’m not going anywhere. Yeah it- This part fucking sucked. It hurt. But I’m ok. I’ll be ok. I always… I always survive. Just-”

She looked off across the room.

Her voice was small again. “Can you just hold me? Until the worst is over?”

Phe wanted to believe her. So she'd pretend she did.

But Kimi had already left her. The minute she'd picked Kadokura.

Was he a better or worse version of her?

Rather than dwell, she caved, keeping her thoughts to herself and she hugged the other woman. Crawling into her lap.

"I'll do whatever you need, love. Always."

#yakkimi #kadokura kenshi #kadokura-verse #drabble #one shot #kimphe

3 notes · View notes

sincelastsession · 6 months ago

Text

I'm pissed off now because I can't remember various things about today and I understand some shit but the rest I'm upset about but now it's like I know I'm mad I can read the journal entry I see what that says but...I think I dissociated or idk. I'm worried about that now and I had heart arrhythmia shit this evening and a huge cry and now like the entire session is foggy. I remember being there. I remember parts of what was said but it faded away and other parts popped up that sort of made sense. Dad brought me a heart thingy to record if something is off. My blood pressure was 107/68 bpm was 68. Tiny bit lower than usual despite the constant panic attack feeling I'm having.

Won't die from the heart thing but it's annoying as hell right now. dad said he'd help me get in with a new heart doctor because my current one has been ignoring legit complaints.

I think that he really did manipulate you today I still believe that and he has been kinder to me today though he did yell at me several times even when I told him that that does not make anything that's going on better and he does interrupt me and cross my boundaries even after I've said no and then I will tell him things several times in a row and then he'll tell me that I didn't say it and he does gas light me and I'm not trying to throw him under the bus or anything because I do want a relationship with my father that's tolerable for both of us And I know I cannot control him and I don't think that anybody understands that I'm just wording things in a different manner and It's just not neurotypical speech pattern it's different and I really need my dad to understand me better so he doesn't get confused and overwhelmed and so mad with me and we can talk and I know I have things I need to work on and I'm trying I really am but I feel like I'm getting punished again because he's back in my life and every time I do something wrong he criticizes it and pokes at it and pokes at it and just like he was talking about red he's poking at he's bringing up the fucking red

And I know that I'm a lot like him in some ways but I'm also my own person and I don't want to be treated like a stupid child and I don't want to be talked down to and what you saw today was him on his best behavior it was manipulative and yes he was interacting and seemed to be in good spirits but that is a fake persona that he happens to use a lot for his own Survival or whatever I don't know if my dad is possibly neurodivergent like me or just bipolar or just a personality disorder or just a fuckin asshole ok? But the way he spoke to me outside when we left was not ok. The way he spoke to me this evening when he came over was NOT OK. We didn't have the worst time but he needs to STOP yelling at someone having anxiety ptsd problems and a heart issue popping up suddenly possibly the bands at the loud show threw it off kilter like heavy bass does. Idfk.

I understand that sometimes my language sounds a certain way but I guess we need to work on training me to rephrase certain things and I'm willing to work on that and I would like it to be where my dad also works on some thanks so we can communicate and not have blow out insane arguments and I don't have to worry about getting physically attacked again

And everybody thinks I'm fucking insane for trying this and maybe I am because every other therapist has told me that he's bad shit when they've talked to him and I need to get the hell away from him this is like a hail Mary of trying to have a good relationship with him before he drops dead.

I understand that he wants me to be financially independent as soon as possible and I'm very stressed out with my PTSD flare up and just trying to do the journaling for you and what I can do.

Some things I literally cannot do.

Some things I just haven't done and I haven't been successful in doing it.

Some things I can possibly do but I'm scared

Some things I can do with no problem

Sometimes these things change daily and it's really strange to me and I don't understand that because sometimes I cannot do something at all and the next day I can do it like it's no problem and I don't understand what's going on but then I'm having these moments where I'm missing time but not a ton of time or I have a memory but it's just really foggy and I don't know if my brain is actively trying to protect itself or if I'm having a disassociative issue So I guess after we talk to mom next session then the session after that we're just gon to have to go over a bunch of shit.

And maybe I am possibly controlling I'm not beyond admitting that I'm not a perfect human being and everybody does have times where they talking act like this I understand the issue but when my dad gets upset with me being controlling he's talking about like extreme almost paranoia like saying he thinks I'm trying to control him and make him do everything and it's very paranoid sounding when he freaks out and gets angry and it doesn't make any sense to me and Half of what I remember him saying didn't make sense to me and some of what you said didn't make sense to me however The memories are foggy because my father is a major trigger for me and I've had to be very strong all day and deal with him more than once today and it was hard because the last time I did see him he had hurt me physically And it's not the first time he has done something like that to me and it sent me into a tailspand a complete PTSD flare up.

He doesn't seem to understand that what happened on that day with him and my sister was horribly traumatic for me.

I did not like the talk about pop culture and the word trigger I did speak to him about that again and I hope that he understands that I'm not using it as a pop culture reference type thing I've kno I've no doubt that word in the meaning because I got taught by a medical professional and I was taught about identifying my triggers I went to an eating disorder facility and I was stuck there for quite a while until I weaseled my way home because it was terrible and they were being abusive However they did hammer some things into my head while I was there in the middle of the fucking desert

So I'm not the best at it but I do know how to identify some of my triggers I wish I could identify more of them and I need to understand how I can be less bothered by the triggers I still need to work on my people pleasing I still need to work on separating my self from the approval of my parents and all this other crap which I'm sure you have figured out

I am still pissed off I don't wanna not see you as my therapist I'm just mad still I will probably get over it I know that you said I could be mad if I wanted to so I am and I'm trying to process and I'm trying to trust everybody because this shit is hard and it's really painful

The amount of grief that I have and the amount of pain and trauma and shit that my parents have caused me since I was a infant the things I can remember and the things that people have done to me since I was 2 years all these other things that have happened it's just an astronomical amount of stuff and I really wish you could have gotten the files from my other EMDR therapist I don't know if that's a work in progress or if you've got them or if we're just gonna not work with them but I really wanted to have them and I know that I don't get to control everything

But I want to Express that I probably have a control issue problem but cause I never got to be in control of anything or I felt that I was never really in control because of how I grew app and what was going on with my body and other people using my body and raping my body and my body getting sick and attacking itself and I Don't really trust a single soul I don't know how to it's not really a paranoid thing it's just that people aren't to be trusted thing that I learned that a very young age and I fight for control with everybody because I feel like I'm just a tiny little kid and I am not an adult to them and I was baffled and pissed off and confused with my dad's behavior because it was not his normal behavior that's why I was acting weird in session because nothing he was Saying in the way he was acting is like what he is actually like

That's the thing like he acted like And not himself at and that freaks me out and I don't know if he made changes and he's trying to be a kinder nicer person but no I heard him screaming at my mother who was speaking to him very politely the other day and no that's he's not doing work on himself because of the way he acted the other day I heard all of it he's abusive for no fucking reason And it's like he has split personalities because what you met today was not my father

I was very disturbed by him acting that way.

I understand that it looked like there was no big deal and no problem but the problem was that was an act you did not get to see how he really is because he put on For You. He wanted to talk to you first to see how you spoke and worked so he could analyze you and probably needed to tell you some things that I'm not privy to which I think is silly since it's like my therapy but whatever I'll get over that I guess and he did tell me that you just explained how you do some stuff and I don't even remember what that was

And I'm laying in my bed with my fucking weighted blanket shaking because he was just over here trying to be nice and trying to help me and I'm still having a trauma response to being around him and he got snappy and he did yell but he calmed down but it's still not cool andeight don't know if I'm ready to interact with him as much as I would like to

Because it's aggravating when he interrupts me and I'm in the middle of talking and I know that I do that but I usually do that when I think there's a long enough pause and then I also like

For instance we're talking about something And I'm listening but then I thought pops up in my head because something was said And if I don't say what I need to say right then and there it fades away like a cloud dispersing. And I can't hold on to it it just slips through my fingers like water it doesn't matter if it's the most important thing in the world or some dumb bullshit.

And I don't know why I have this problem I don't know if it's due to stress I don't know what causes it other than my diagnosis of ADHD.

So I wasn't trying to make an excuse for my behavior I was just trying to say that sometimes if I don't say it the important thing or something that needs to be said it just goes bye bye

And That's horribly frustrating to me. I don't know if I was just put on the wrong medication a long time ago or if I had something happened to my brain when I got the concussion or if it's a genetic neurological condition I have no idea but right now I think it's just havingCertain diagnosis that make it hard for me to fucking concentrate. Then my brain is just kind of doing whatever it wants sometimes to protect me and I don't always have the controls. I don't know how to explain that better.

It's very frustrating to me that I can't really articulate how all this feels and what's going on in my head and all I want to do is to be understood and to explain to people what's going on so I can survive because it's a survival thing

Because people take me the wrong way and misunderstand me and not very many people go out of their way to understand me or meet me halfway and yeah I do think that my family the people closest to me should be more involved and I don't agree with you about what you said about that that's something I remember more than everything else we spoke about

And I was upset and reactive because I did not want to be near my father but I knew I needed to have the session and he showed up and that did mean something to me but it was very hard for me and I don't know how to express that anyway other than telling you it was hard and it hurts

I'm happy to continue having sessions but I don't think my father understands that it takes a lot of time to change habits and heal from these things and he was already overwhelming me this evening telling me that I needed to change my phone plan and take on a bunch of bills and bitching to me about money and his health and things that I can't help I can't control that right now I can't fix that right now I'm trying to control myself and fix myself and I understand my circle of control is just myself and my reactions And it's very hard to get all of this done in the middle of APTSD flare

And I really need to move but my father's not willing to move me until I can financially take on some bills and Don't know how to explain to him that it takes a while with me. I don't find it to be Impossible yet to get Better but I Don't think I could give him an estimate of how many months or years it's gonna take for me to get Better and Help him out I also Really fucking Don't like how abusive he is at my Mother they've been divorced a Long Time now and It's Time for them to not be assholes to one another it's Really inappropriate it affects me and affects my sister it's not good for either of them I Know I can't Control that but I need to Bitch about it so I'm gonna Bitch about it Here

I had a shitty conversation with the front office and the dude was a fucking asshole to me and I'm just gonna let the security officer talk to him about me and the security officer's idea to put a camera up But honestly what would fix things is just to move the loud ass people into a different apartment that has the same layout because the residents here can choose to move to different apartments if they're the same price or the apartment people can just move them if they're bothering other residents but they don't want to kick them ou

But they have been loud all evening and that is not helping a damn thing and I don't want to wear my head phones because my head already hurts like a motherfucker from stress

Therapy is fucking aggravating I'm so tired of going to therapy it's not you and I'm just tired of being in therapy since I was 12 I'm tired of it it's annoying

I really do feel like I got mansplained to today and I'm sorry if that's upsetting for you but that's how I feel

Because my brain goes really fast and I already had caught on to what I did wrong and now I can remember a little bit of it that's wei don't understand this I don't think it's the medicine that I take for my anxiety because that has never caused me to have these issues and it's not the weed because we'd never cause that for me either so I'm just guessing it stress and PTSD related symptoms in whatever other symptoms go along with my diagnosis

I don't really like the style ofNot bringing up diagnosis that's not going to work very well with me in the long run and this is just feedback I understand the reason that you don't like it and I understand how the DSM is not really the best book in the world but these are diagnosis that I have gotten under the care of a Doctor who is no longer alive but worked with me for a very long time trying to figure out what was wrong and he used to be a neurologist as well so I'm gonna trust what that Doctor said and I'm gonna trust with my other psychiatrist now says as well.

I don't try to act more like the diagnosis I just want you to understand that I do understand like why it is annoying to you

I do understand that people sometimes get a diagnosis and they make that their whole identity and that's not what I'm trying to do

I'm also not trying to use any of my diagnosis as an excuse for bad behavior I'm trying to explain that that's why this shitty behavior is happening and I don't always have control over that

Like I will think something in my head and try and say it out loud and the wrong words come out of my mouth or I just phrase things wrong and if I don't phrase it a certain way sometimes then my entire body feels like nails on a chalkboard and it is the most unpleasant feeling in the world if I do not do the compulsive thing

I wish I could show people how it feels I wish there was a way to transfer thoughts and feelings to others so you could know and I understand that nobody ever fully knows anybody that's literally something that I have known for a very long time

It does get really aggravating not just with you and but with past therapists Because I see the wheels turning in your's head and I know when you'll say certain things where it's going and then I get something explained to me that I already know about and then I try to let people know Hey I know exactly what you're talking about I've read extensively about it I've spoken with other therapists about this I know it's a problem I understand what this means And then like the therapist will continue going and then it feels like I'm running out of time andsession and I feel like there's a lot of pressure to let you know as much as possible because I feel like I'm going To run out of time and then I have all this pressure from my family to hurry up and get fixed and fix myself and do all these things and I'm overloaded and my dad was trying to tell me about switching my phone to something and doing this and doing that and it's very hard to communicate with him about these things and big changes really freak me out and I do have meltdowns about that

I have huge fucking meltdowns that are autistic meltdowns like classic ones it's not just a timber chance room because I'm angry it's a meltdown

And then it's like a Domino effect basically one thing gets triggered and the rest of all of my mental disorders sort of just topple over into this big cluster fuck of overwhelming melt down sometimes it turns into a panic attack sometimes it turns into flashbacks and PTSD sometimes it returns into repetitive speaking and actions and other weird worries over and over and over again that don't make sense and then sometimes none of that happens

Sometimes I can act very childish sometimes I can act very old sometimes I can act more manly sometimes I act like a little girl and I don't understand what's going on with that because it's like having weird little personas and I don't pick them out I don't consciously pick any of this out

There's a lot of things that happen subconsciously that I'm getting bitchedoubt about that I don't even understand like what's going on and I get confused

And I don't know if it's just because I'm under so much stress that all this is happening or if I really do have something neurologically going on or if I do have a disassociative disorder or what the fuck is going on

And I'm still pissed I don't know how long it's going to take for my emotions to catch up with my logic

And yeah it wasn't the worst session with my dad it went better than I thought it would but it also still freaked me out because the way he acted around you and me was absolutely not what I'm used to I don't know what the fuck that was

That's not the dad I grew up with but then when we left the office and you told us to go speak outside he acted like more himself and more of an asshole and was snapping at me cutting me off interrupting me crossing my boundaries yelling at me and then suddenly talking normal like nothing ever happened after he did the narcissistic twister tornado at me in the parking lot that he probably doesn't even realize that he did

I think that he doesn't see how he's acting or how he sounds I don't know if he understands that some of the things he says and does are just as shitty as what people are telling me that I'm doing and that I'm confused about

I don't know if we have the same issue I don't know if my father is also autistic maybe that's it I don't fucking know but something else is going on with him because like I really don't know what the hell are witnessed today

That's why I'm so upset that's why I'm so freaked out because I felt like you were just allowing him an enabling him to be abusive by saying yeah he can do and say whatever he wants and you can either put up with it or walk away from the situation and the thing is like yes that is true

We all are in control of our own actions and we cannot control other people but it needs to be made known to him that his behavior towards me and his bullshit manipulation is seen and he needs to stop treating me like crap

Because I want to make the therapy sessions work I want to have a fucking relationship with my dad that doesn't end up being terrible before he passes away because I'm terrified that he's gonna die at any moment in time

And then I spoke to my mom about how he acted and she said that he used to do this in thier couples therapy that apparently they did for a while and the therapist eventually say through his fake shit.

I know you're not dumb.

It did cross my mind that you might have been observing much more than me and did see the bullshit. I don't know.

I am glad he has so far agreed to come back.

That was a goal anyway. So yay.

I do like that I can vent here and you can see it and understand how I'm processing and feeling etc.

I do feel misunderstood though. I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how to word or articulate things sometimes especially when I'm having anxiety and my brain is going 60 different directions and I don't feel like me I feel like someone else is driving and the words in my head aren't exiting my mouth.

I don't know how to solve the holding the thought problem.

I could take adhd med that is still in my prescription bottle one day before session and show you how completely different I am on it.

I was never on it long and Dr. Todd died.

New psychiatrist thought I was still taking it but I stopped when he had a weird OMG THE MEDICAL BOARD fit abt it.

2.5 MG was the dose I was taking. That's all I needed. I was functioning better.

I don't know if Dr. Murphy could sort me out better.

But im willing to show you the difference. I don't think it will hurt to take it for one session.

Maybe it won't change anything.

Idk I'd just like to stop having spiderweb thinking.

It's ALL OVER THE PLACE but it's all connected and loops back to the original subject eventually.

I didn't do this shit as bad before I had to go to regions.

I hate when I can't hold a thought in conversation. It's embarrassing to me to have to interrupt and it's embarrassing to ask ppl to pause to write it down. And it's hard to concentrate and remember shit anyone says because I have a million things going on in my brain.

Like I have to live with it if ppl find it annoying at least they don't have the issues I do that keep them up at night crying because my brain won't SHUT THE FUCK UP.

In high-school I was on xanax Adderall and smoked hella weed. It worked better than anything. But then they played with antidepressants and antipsychotics and epilepsy meds, and bipolar meds, and I'm scared I literally have brain damage

I don't know what to do about any of this and I know it's frustrating for every therapist I understand I also understand many things that I'm explained in depths about sometimes I just don't get it to begin with and then it clicks later

And I felt extremely overwhelmed And I don't know I don't know how to explain what the fuck happened in session because that was not my father

That was not my father in the sense of how he acted who the hell was what sort of Twilight Zone shit was that

If he acted like that all the time and didn't act like a fucking Dick then that would be great

I know I can't control any of it I tried my best to just observe and try and I just felt like I was a target today and I know that that wasn't really what was going on that I can remember

And I don't like that I just associated at certain parts and didn't even realize till I got home and could not remember and then I can remember some bits and pieces now but other parts are still foggy and I'm aggravated about it

And I don't know if my brain was just like protecting me because I was going into a room with somebody that had hurt me and caused me trauma

And I don't know if this is just gonna work kind of like some sort of exposure therapy I don't fucking know.

And yes I was triggered and I'm gonna continue to use the word trigger when I am actually triggered.

I don't play around with that word over stupid shit.

I don't really care if it's a pop culture thing or not I don't like that my dad was enabled because of certain things I believe you said did made him pretty fucking elated and then when we went outside to have a conversation 1 on 1 like you suggested yeah things did not go very well

I understand that everybody has free will and can talk when they want to and how they want to and all that jazz

And I can too

And I don't want to try and take someone's free will away

But he and my mother have both tried to basically fuck with my autonomy and micro manage and try to control me at a level that's insane my entire life and none of it's normal and dad always comes into therapy trying to act like a perfect little angel until he cracks or I say something and he reacts and the therapist finally sees beyond the bullshit

And I'm scared that this is all going to go exactly like the last time that I've tried to get him in therapy with me and I don't want to give up and I'm scared that I'm going to have to give up and just say goodbye and grieve

And I don't want to do that

And I would really like it if you would listen to all of the recordings when you have the time I understand that you're a very busy person I understand that Everybody is very busy I get it

Speaking of being your own person and being busy I really don't appreciate when my parents think that I have no life and I'm just gonna have to make room in my schedule for them and they can't make room and they're scheduled for me on certain things now they're agreeing to come to therapy is new and And I'm not mad about that

I'm actually really pleased with both of them and I'm really happy about it and I'm hoping that something positive can come out of it

I'm capable of growth and I hope my parents are and I hope they're not pulling the same stupid bullshit they do every single time and I would love for you to see how it really is

And he did this when I saw Robin

And he manipulated her to the point where she thought I was just fucking insane

And my best friend at the time was going behind my back and speaking to my dad and they were both very concerned about me and I was having trouble because every year starting in about July I start freaking out until my birthday hits and I do not know why this happens it's every single fucking year

I just have a massive bout of anxiety that lasts from like the middle to end of June till my birthday sometimes it starts in July and I don't know why shit escalates till then II never understood that I don't know if I had some sort of trauma that happened this time of year and my body has kept the score or whatever but that is disturbing to me and it's something that Needs to be worked out in therapy I guess I don't know

I would really like to look into the alternative treatments my brain already feels pretty fucking broken so I mean I'm about to find out how much it fucking costs because I Don't Know what else to do and I Don't Know if I have the Money to pay for it but I'm kind of desperate for some damn relief because I'm hyper vigilant Right Now and I was hypervigilant this morning and it hasn't Gone Away all fucking day and I had Heart palpitations and that was very scary it's Always very scary and I Don't Know what's causing that and I Don't Know WHY my dad was weird and I Don't understand a lot of things that Everybody else does and I Feel like I'm left out of this club of understanding

And I'm angry I'm not always sad but I'm angry I have so much anger and I don't want it anymore

But it's a really bad thing to have happened to me and I wish that I could have hunt down the people that hurt me the most I wish I could hunt them down but I can't do that

I'm not a bad person I don't hurt people on purpose I don't think in an evil way

I have a hard time understanding people that aren't neurodivergent thinkers.

They don't make sense to me.

It seems like everybody chose a bit to stick to and I don't get it. It looks like everybody has some sort of script and unspoken rules and all this shit that doesn't make any sense to me all these weird social rules that are just so many steps when it could be so much simpler

And it can be jarring to people when I say things and I don't understand what it is that I've said that's hurt their feelings and I don't know why I should even care anymore when they don't seem to care about what they're doing to me or people like me

And I don't like this fetish shit about autistic people that's been on TV like yeah I know they got paid I know that they got everything explained to them about that reality TV show and shit but it's just disgusting to me that it's just let's put some autistic people on TV to find love and all these neurotypical people are just like oh my God they're so adorable as if they're like some sort of animal when that's no it's another fucking person

I will happily do every single sort of testing you would like to do on me because I just want to know the answers to why I'm having issues I would like to rule out the things that's not happening

I would like to shut that part of my brain up

I would like to shut up lots of parts of my brain but I don't know how it's exhausting it's exhausting just thinking a lot

I feel worn out and I didn't even do a lot today other than sit and talk with you and my dad and I talked with other people today and I visited with other people today but it wasn't more than I do other days but I'm exhausted like I ran a marathon and this happens after therapy sessions sometimes

Sometimes I come home from there but not just therapy with you just therapy in general and in the past and I would just come home and lay on my bed and I would literally have a sort of narcoleptic thing happened where I would just fall asleep my brain would completely shut down and make me go night night

And then I would jolt awake 5 minutes to 10 minutes later not understanding why I was passing out and Doctor Todd was trying to figure out if I had any sort of narcolepsy or if it was just PTSD related but then he got COVID and then he was going to come back to work and help me figure out some sort of sleep medication to help me with my insomnia and worked on the weird reactions that I was having and then He did not get better and he fucking died

And I miss my old Doctor so much

And I hope so much grief I am so angry and I'm so exhausted and I just quit quit hurting inside and it's not depression

Depression is a very distinctive feeling for me this feels like I have a giant gaping wounded my chest that won't heal

That's what it feels like not the depression the grief the grief doesn't stop

The anger does not go away I am so angry for all the things that have happened to me and none of it gets any Justice and I can't get myself to move forward because the people that hurt me were never fucking punished for it but I got punished and I still get punished and it's an unnatural amount of bad shit that just continuously happens to me and I don't understand

I mean I could have Travis back for a session and he could tell you examples of just me having a hell of a time with just one thing after another and I've seen other doctors and therapists and they noticed that it's a trend and it's not just mean being negative or whatever it's just literally like I have bad luck or something

I mean it's Louisiana maybe I need to go see a spiritual worker and do a cleansing bath maybe I have some sort of spells set on me I don't fucking know

I don't think it's anything like that. If it was then I know what I'm supposed to do to make it go away but it's not that because that is like a psychological thing for the most part and the rest of it's kind of just unexplainable witchcraft or whatever you want to call it Perhaps unexplained science perhaps something to do with string theory and the universe not being locally real and all that crap

Don't get me started on the universe not being locally real because I know entirely too much about that shit and I wish that was more my special interest that I would ever about instead of like other stuff that bothers people

But it seems like everything about me bothers people sometimes

And it seems like sometimes I'm overtaking and sometimes nothing is bothering anybody and I just think that but you know there's been times where I've walked away from people like the other night and they were like that girl was fucking insane and it really hurt my feelings but I blew it off and continued hanging around people that weren't assholes

And why that was easy because those people were not important to me because I don't know them because I have 0 connection with people with no emotional depth

I don't understand how my father can be treating my mother so fucking awful when she's just talking to him and she says things just like me that come out of her mouth that are really fucking rude sounding and it seems like she's having a lot of the same problems as me and so is my dad and my sister as well but whose fault is all of this

And it really boils down to the extreme amount of abuse and crazy shit I was exposed to growing up that fucked up my psycho social stages and I suppose that happened with all of them as well in their childgood and shit and I tried so hard I have tried so hard to do everything in my power to make sure that my sister did not have horrible things happened to her and tried to teach her things to keep her safe and I still feel very hurt and betrayed by her and I wish that she would talk to me and I wish I could get an apology and I wish I could work things out with her Because I think I have more hope working things out with her sometimes but then other times she's just fucking nasty to meAnd yes she's a 20 two-year-old idiot and I don't exactly like her right now and she probably doesn't like me and she's been a fucking asshole telling me that I can't go to the same venues she goes to and enjoy myself I can't go to the same shows she's gonna have to get Uber that because I'm not going to hide away in an apartment forever because that's not going to help me get better it's going to be good for me to have a safe quiet place to live if I can ever fucking move out of this hell hole And probably will get put in another hell hold because I would try to explain to my dad what I need and he keeps not understanding that the things he is trying toPush on me are not going to work

I understand that I need to be financially independent but I don't understand how to do anything under the table I'm very worried about getting caught I'm very paranoid that I'm gonna get in trouble I have a constant fear of getting in trouble and getting punished and I always feel like I'm getting punished every time anybody is mad at me and I'm scared

And I was scared today sitting there next to my father who I haven't seen or spoken to in 6 months and it was very hard for me not to just get up and start screaming at him and crying and asking him why he wasn't sitting there apologizing to me about anything

Because I wanted an apology and I couldn't think when you were asking me what I wanted to get out of the session because I couldn't think I couldn't think it all my mind went blank I had all these things that I wanted to get out of the session I think I even wrote some of them down in this Tumblr journal

In my mind we're blank and I was trying so hard to listen and I don't know what happened

I was trying to participate and be present and interact and I didn't shut down I did in that moment actually hear what happened but I Don't Know if it was me or part of me that heard it and now I Don't remember it and I'm Mad about it because I was trying very hard to actively ListenI probably could have repeated it back to you if you had asked me to repeat it and now I can't for the life of me remember and I'm really upset about that

I mean I have a lot of distressing things going on that aren't therapy things

I'm having a lot of chronic pain I was in so much pain today in session and I don't think anybody understood that because I don't sit there and cry but I wasn't enough pain to cry and it wouldn't have helped my situation which is my muscles cramp up like Charlie horses and they do not release no matter how much I try to relax and I've seen a neuromuscular Doctor and they couldn't figure it out and I've seen a regular neurologist and he can't figure out shit that's going on with me

And people are treating me like a hypochondriac and I'm not one

And I have about a million things to do around my apartment and I need to clean and organize and do all this stuff but I can't take the adderalls that I have left like every single day because I'm just going to run out and the current Doctor I'm seeing is not wanting to prescribe it because med combo or some bullshit that he scared that the medical board will be mad at him and spank him

I missed Doctor Todd because he was not scared to go face the medical board and explain the case to them But he also has the advantage of being a neurologist in the past and also being a lawyer

This Doctor told me to get medical marijuana and encouraged it because it helps people with PTSD and it does sometimes help me but I weren't and got on it for pain and now he's having a temper tantrum that I'm smoking weed and I'm like well what do you want me to do I don't really necessarily want to take opiates and I can't go get anti-inflammatory shots constantly because that's going to really fuck me up

And then sometimes I sit back and I'm like well I'm gonna die 1 day and it's probably gonna be earlier than I would like lake whether it's natural causes or I finally just lose my shit at some point I don't know hopefully I'll get better and that won't happen

But it does scare me sometimes especially when I'm in PTSD flare-ups that the more stress and stimuli that I gethe more upset and triggered I get by like everything.

Right now I don't even remember what the fuck else I was going to say because my own thoughts are going so fast that I couldn't hold on to the thought I had before and this is hell

And no I still don't think that I shut down in the session like I just Was listening and I did make a noise but I made a noise because I was about to say something and I stopped myself and I guess I shifted or did something that made you think that I was shutting down but I really don't like people assuming things like that I would rather be asked if I'm shutting down because I know what that feels like and I know when I'm shutting down

Me shutting down is me going completely non verbal and not being able to really reply

I don't sit there and not listen I don't stop listening sometimes I have some auditory processing issues and I hear the first part of something or I hear the last part of something but the rest of it didn't register

And sometimes people can be talking to me and I just associate but it's not on purpose and then I miss half of what they said and then I'm too embarrassed to ask

And I don't know Joshua I don't fucking know I feel like I'm a fucking lost cause sometimes

You know like I am my worst critic aside from my parents in my fucking sister

I am meaner to myself than anybody could ever be

There's no reason for anybody to fuss at me because I'm already fussing at myself inside my skull

There's no reason for anyone to ever raise their voice at me because I'm already screaming at myself on the inside I'm aware of most of the things that I do but I don't do them on purpose I don't sit there and plan that I'm gonna do or say the bad thing it's just kind of compulsively pop out of my mouth and then sometimes I'm even shocked by it because I'm like that came out of my mouth what the fuck

Sometimes I can articulate very well and speak really well and sometimes I feel like a scared child and I can't talk and I feel really shy and I want to curl into a ball and hide in someone's make any sense

And I had to ask Travis if we could go to the grocery store when he has some time because I haven't been able to get my ass to a fucking grocery store and get groceries because I can't fucking do it by myself because it's too overwhelming so I've been having to go to the Dollar General and get overly processed stuff that makes me feel terrible and eat that instead of going to another store because the bigger stores are very overwhelming and then ordering groceries is a fucking nightmare Because I can't decide on shit it takes me sometimes an entire day and then I will get upset and have a breakdown and cry and I won't even be able to press the order button or I'll look at the cost of it and It'll be like a 100 fucking dollars extra because I'm ordering it and it's a lot of groceries I'm getting so I don't have to go to the store or order them again and I can just make the food but I haven't been able to cook for myself very well or do the things that I used to do like go to bed at a decent time and wake up and go to the fucking farmer's market and shit like that and I hate this

I hate what I have turned into and I don't know what that is I don't know what's going on with this

And I'm trying so hard to process this and everything else meanwhile I'm in serious pain and I don't want to smoke weed yet because I am not ready to do that

I probably should have already to calm the fuck down a little bit but I don't wanna rely on it for everything

But my other choice is suffering and being in pain so I'm going to have to and I don't know why I punish myself like this because I basically am I'm so harming by not taking something for the pain and I don't know why I'm like this I don't know why I'm just

I don't know why I punish myself I just realized that that's what I'm doing I'm punishing myself but also other people have punished me and that's all I know

And Travis came over and helped with the cat litter boxes and the trash and he asked if I wanted help in the kitchen and I told him no because I can stand and do that a little bit at a time and I'm too embarrassed to ask for help for anything else and he doesn't exactly have the best joints either so I'm not going to ask for much more help

And I don't even like asking for help it's embarrassing to me

There's so many people out there that are so judgmental towards me and I hate it because they don't know me they don't know what I go through they don't know what it feels like to be me

And I'm trying so hard to quit Craig because it's not helping my pain at all

I can disassociate from my pain and maybe that's what made it hard to concentrate in session I don't know

Because like I can't be stoned constantly and I can't take paint pills constantly and I can't get any relief from ibuprofen or Tylenol an approxen or the easy stuff that's over thecause my pain levels are at chronic pain levels

If I had to rate it out of 10 on the chronic paint scale I have to say that it waffles between 5 and 9 because I know if I say tin I have to go to the fucking ER

I mean dude I walked around with a Fucking fractured knee that apparently healed back up but he'll back up wrong and I didn't even know it I was just like Hey guys my knee hurts and I'm having trouble going up-and-down the stairs and they're like OK and then like nobody thought that anything was wrong or looked at it until I got a new room at colleges and they were like when the hell did you break your knee when did this happen and I was like I have no idea what you're talking about and she's like look at this big fracture mark that healed up and I'm like holy shit

So yeah that kind of fracture would have caused me a lot of pain and yet at 1 point I was walking around on a knee that hurt really bad and I don't know when that was but I remember my knee hurting like a motherfucker for quite a while

I don't even feel human half the time I don't feel like I have alone here I feel like some sort of creature or alien or non-human entito t sometimes and it's just weird but it's also like a common thing that a lot of people experience and I don't like it

0 notes

the-inglorious-king-of-dunces · 8 months ago

Text

39th post

Hey! It's been a fucking while, hasn't it? Haven't really needed to post anything in a long fucking time, but I would really like to scream into the void today, if that's alright, internet.

So, yesterday, I saw my ex at a gas station I went to with the intent of filling up my car's tank. After I left, got home, ate lunch, and went to play video games and talk with my friends, I had a fucking micro panic attack that I was genuinely sure would have happened upon realizing I saw my ex at the gas station, realizing they were a foot away from me at one point, realizing that I was truly still terrified of them... Fuck! I'm still so not okay, and I can't talk to the person I used to about this because I found out within the last month that she cheated on my other friend and lied to me and another mutual friend of the cheater, the cheated on, and myself to make it seem like she was the one who was wronged by the one who was cheated on, so I dropped her as a friend like a hot sack of shit, and upon reflection with the friend who was cheated on, I found out that she intentionally did a lot of the same things to my friend that my ex did to me, so that bridge is now fully burned regardless of what happens to her in her life. And I really don't want to talk to my crush friend about how I'm feeling about all of this because I really don't want to overwhelm her with my issues when she has so much to deal with in her life as is, and I care about her too much to put my issues on her already overflowing plate. And then to add on to it, I had a nightmare about my ex being in my life again last night that made me wake up in fucking heaving tears that I really don't want to disclose to the internet because even remembering the nightmare feels like I'm being violated with their blatant lies again.

I wish I could talk with my crush friend about this, though... and I wish I could tell her more, I wish I could tell her without words that I'm always here to protect and help her if she needs it, that I wish I could have seen the eclipse with her the other day with our hands intertwined, that I wish she and I could just hang out sometime, not as a date, not as anything but just as two old friends catching up because the last time our friend group hung out mostly all together (the hangout where I realized I might have feelings for her) I had to leave shortly after she got there, I wish that I could just look into her eyes while she smiles and then smile earnestly back, I wish I could help her with the situation she is currently in, but I can't talk to her about it or do all of that. At least not anytime soon, because that nightmare, it proved to the irrational side of me that I don't deserve to be there for someone when I failed my ex, despite it being not my fault for the awful situation I was in, it not being my fault for failing them, it not being my fault for not being enough when I couldn't be what their ideal version of me was, the version of me they put on a pedestal and told me to keep steady or I'd fall and get hurt, and I'm too much of a shaky person to keep my hands steady.

I care for my friend who I have a crush on, I really do, and she knows I do care for her and that I like her, but I really feel like for her to have the best life, I can't be in it as anything more than a dude who's been one of her best friends since middle school, you know? I feel like I'm just gonna drag her down with me, farther and farther from happiness.

But she makes me so happy, and I think I make her happy too, she always seems happy to text me, and she wouldn't be the kind of person to keep the feeling of being annoyed or hurt by someone away from that person. So, maybe I can keep making her happy? I'd really like that, honestly

I'm rambling and have gone on way too much about this today, sorry, I just needed to get the worlds out of my head. I guess have a great day, everybody who may read this. Remember to drink plenty of water, eat well and plenty, and get plenty of sun. Remember to love yourself as you love other, and I wish you Love and Laughter always, and see you next time I see you, I guess?

#personal rants #abuse survivor #abuse recovery #or lack thereof I guess #nightmare #I wish I didn't feel like shit for things that were done to me #I wish I had recovered as much as I thought #I have recently started to fucking feel like I'm only truly now starting to put myself back together when I thought I had been doing so wel #fucking fuck fuck!#I don't think I'm okay #but I keep needing to be okay for my friends because helping others is what has been helping me for the longest time #sorry for so many fucking tags on this one just too many thoughts I don't think will fit in the post

0 notes

timeoverload · 9 months ago

Text

I'm in a good mood. :) Today went a lot better than I was anticipating. I was able to keep up with the fast doctor and there were 3 rooms going at the same time. I didn't get overwhelmed.

Nothing bad happened except I was too busy to be able to eat breakfast this morning so I got hangry. I was so hungry that I caved and bought lunch even though it was sandwich day. It wasn't very good but it made me feel better so I guess that's all that matters. I also think it's ridiculous that they charge $7 for a small cold sandwich but I suppose everything is expensive now.

I did get annoyed because I thought I went to lunch early enough to avoid the creepy guy but he came to work like 45 minutes early to get food. He always comes to sit with me and I hate it. There were plenty of open tables. He has been drinking mimosas before work lately apparently. He said something about us needing to get together sometime and I was so uncomfortable. I flat out told him that I try to avoid hanging out with co-workers outside of work because it causes problems. He said he understood. Then he decided to tell me about how one of his old co-workers said he sexually assaulted her at a party and he got arrested. He said he didn't do anything to her but I have a hard time believing him because I already know he doesn't like the word "no". I'm not sure why he felt the need to tell me about that. I really didn't want to hear about that while I was trying to eat. He just makes me nervous in a bad way. I got up and left as soon as I could. I'm done sitting in the cafeteria because I can't seem to avoid him. I shouldn't have to do that. My breaks are very special to me and I need time by myself to decompress.

The girl that I was talking about the other night was back at work today. I found out what happened to her and it's not what I expected. She started seeing this guy and she really likes him but she wasn't aware that he had a crazy ex. She was staying the night at his place and both of their cars were vandalized by his ex girlfriend. She had all 4 of her tires slashed. The ex girlfriend also keyed her car and wrote obscene shit on it. They are pressing charges. I feel so bad because that's so fucked up. I am glad she doesn't have to pay to have it fixed. I probably would have a similar reaction so I understand why she was so upset the other day. I feel bad for assuming she was on drugs or something because that's not what happened. I know she does do that sometimes but she doesn't come to work when she is under the influence as far as I know. I still think she might be hanging out with the wrong crowd but I don't think things are as bad as my other co-worker made it sound. It's really none of my business and I don't want to gossip about her. I don't know enough about the situation to have an opinion. I also don't think she has any problems with me because we were joking around like usual today. I think when she said that she wanted to work around people who respect her, she was mostly referring to the morning team lead. He is a dick to her and she hates him. I think that's also why she changed her hours so she doesn't come to work until noon. Anyway, I am just glad she is ok and I hope that her luck improves.

I am so happy the day is over and I can sit here and do nothing. I don't feel like doing anything tonight. I never went to the grocery store so I will have to do that sometime this weekend because I don't have a lot of food right now. I wanted to go last night but I felt awful. I'm glad that passed quickly and I still have no idea why I felt that way. I am going to have a lot to do in the morning but it's ok I guess.

I was planning on taking my car to the shop on Saturday but it's running fine for now so I'm not going to. I don't really have the money to do that yet either. I just need to be careful with it.

I think I am going to relax now because I'm worn out. I don't have much else to talk about. I hope everything goes well tomorrow.

Maxwell, thank you for sending me so many nice things because that makes me happy. I love you too!!! 💖💖💖 I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. :)

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too! Thank you for listening to me ramble. 💖💖💖

#personal

1 note · View note

unimaginablenotions · 10 months ago

Text

February 19, 2024

Today was another busy day at work and I always try my best to keep up with my commitments to myself, deadlines at work, my responsibilities as the eldest daughter, making time for my boyfriend, friends, and myself. It's so overwhelming how everything is happening all at once. Other than than, I also have to be mindful about eating, exercising, upskilling, budgeting my money and so on.*Insert the barbie monologue*. As much as I want to write on my trad journal, I'm just really tired to write there hence I am writing it here. Or maybe I should just write here consistently instead. It's a stressful day especially given that I have a gen x boss who notice every little thing at office even my fork in which he always has a fucking sarcastic remarks and it's so annoying. Everyone is annoyed at him at work and I pity for him because he probably doesn't receive love as I do and that's why he's like that. Lol. I used to be the person whose always ready to fight people whenever they do bad things to me but I just don't have the energy anymore to care about their shits. So I'll just think they don't have love in themselves and I pity them. The words and actions they create is a reflection of themselves and not me. I am always greatful for the love that I receive from every people I meet. That's all for today, my mind is really blank today because of so many revisions at work.

0 notes

passed-up-for-peace-of-mind · 1 year ago

Text

12.30.23 10:04pm

Oh no, I didn’t realize how late it was, and I got into bed with the heating pad before brushing. I was caught up in my plotting re: evalgate that I forgot that it’s so much easier to brush first! Dammit! At least I did my duolingo. I also sorted a lot of stuff to add to my hard drive. My computer will be so much faster! Life will be so good! Anyway, I’m going to edit my next post.

Okay, I caught up on every entry except today’s big ones. I actually had a nice day. I cleaned my room; I cleaned my files; we had friends over for dinner and then played Outburst. Our set is from the seventies, so it’s impossible to guess everything on each card which makes it more fun. It’s the first time we played, and mom wants to get rid of it because it doesn’t have the red sleeve that makes the words visible. We had to use the red bulb in a headlamp to read the cards. It was awesome. Eventually lots of people were at our house, and Arawen (childhood friend who’s the same age as Dinky) asked me if [Ex] and I were still together and in front of a room of ten people I had to say no. It wasn’t awesome, and my face was red for the entire rest of the night, but it was okay. Mostly, I’m still just annoyed about the work related exchange I had with [Ex] today. It was lame. I’m also clearly not ready to hear other people say bad things about [Ex] and VERY much not ready for other people to imply that I’m ready to start dating or that I’m better off without him. I feel okay saying it, but I don’t like hearing it from other people. I don’t know why. My first therapy appointment in a month is the Tuesday I get back from school. It will be nice to have something to talk about for the first time in a while. I mean this semester was terrible, and I had a lot to say in the first half, but I’m excited to dive into the implications of this breakup. I’d like to nail down what I feel is so incorrect about what he has done. I think it really boils down to him not wanting to support me emotionally. He did it because he didn’t want to have to care about me when it wasn’t convenient. And he thinks he might just be able to get back together with me when it benefits him more. He made the choice of an opportunistic coward. When he broke up with me the first time, it was similar. He was overwhelmed and felt like he was being a “bad boyfriend” and didn’t like the feeling of guilt, even though I felt fine about the way things were going. He literally just doesn’t enjoy anything about being with me long distance, I guess. He doesn’t get anything out of it. It’s understandable; that’s what happened to me and my last boyfriend, but it was mostly because we were going long distance for an indefinite amount of time. [Ex] has commitment issues, admittedly. He doesn’t want to commit to something so effortful and unpleasant as being there for me if he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me forever. Kind of sucks but makes sense. I would have probably done the same thing. Sorry I just stopped writing to read the Blink-182 wikipedia page. Because I have to be truthful to me, you know? I’m just being the most authentic version of myself. Anyway if that bastard thinks he’s getting back together with me after he gets back he’s going to have a lot of shit to eat before that happens. He is going to have to give me a PhD dissertation on how he’s a piece of shit. Hooray! Anyway. My hands are dry. He was always so dry. I wonder if he’s gonna miss me or how easily he can find someone he gets along with as well as me. Or is the degree to which we are compatible an illusion? We don’t know. There is no way for us to know. Let’s kiss. What? Haha. What? ;) love u pufpom I’m keeping u.

#diary #personal story #thoughts #breakup

0 notes

fict1onallyobsessed · 3 years ago

Note

Hc’s where owen realises reader is into Abby and starts doing annoying shit to R out of jealousy??

Owen is jealous of your relationship with Abby: Headcannons

Abby Anderson x Reader

Abby doesn’t even realise at first

She’s probably oblivious to your flirting too, since the poor woman was born into a pandemic

You started noticing little glances from Owen when you returned from patrols

He’d often be talking to Abby when you’d return, a small smirk being sent your way every single time

You tried not to think about it too much but to say his actions weren’t annoying, would be a lie.

You promised yourself not to bother Abby with it either, since she seemed oblivious to it

And you hadn’t

Until you had patrol with Owen and a few others from WLF

The whole patrol consisted of him teasing you about your lack of skill

“Shame you can’t climb as well as us. We’d be there by now.”

“What? Abby not here to save you?”

God you could punch his face

The other people with you had no idea what was going on

Or why Owen was so mean all of a sudden

Embarrassment was not a feeling you felt often

But you could feel your skin heating up as he mocked you

Thing is, you could do everything he could, and he knew it

You ended up returning soaked to the bone because Owen had tripped you into the snow

Shaking, you walked into the hideout before heading straight for your bag of clothes not even attempting to find Abby

She eventually finds you drying your hair, a tear rolling down your cheek

You don’t even know why you were crying

The whole day overwhelming you to a point that made you snap

“Hey. What happened?

You tried your best to hide your face, drying it off before she could see more tears fall

“Are you hurt?”

You just shook your head, trying to leave the room before she asked more questions

Obviously she was stronger and grabbed your bicep, stopping you from leaving

“What’s wrong then?”

You took a deep breath, trying not to break down in front of her

“Owen’s a dick.”

She laughed slightly, agreeing but confused where it was coming from

You ended up telling her everything, from when you realised he was sending you nasty glances to today when he’d completely humiliated you on patrol

She listened to you closely

And something clicked in her brain

She’d realised something was up with Owen’s behaviour

She just couldn’t place it

“Why though? You’ve done nothing to annoy him.”

“He’s in fucking love with you, Abby. And he can’t take it that I am too.”

You paused when your mouth shut

You didn’t mean to say that, the anger of his actions getting the better of you

“Um…”

That was all you could respond with after getting yourself together

Avoiding her eyes, you signed and noted her silence

You left without another word, cursing yourself for ruining the only solid friendship you had established in the group

You finally entered the main area where everyone grouped together to get ready to gather for the night

What you weren’t expecting is for Abby to walk behind you

You hadn’t even reached your sleeping bag

Her arms gently grabbed your arms and spun you around

It was all so fast

Her hand moved to cup your cheek before she bought her lips to yours

In front of everyone, may I add.

So Owen saw

And Owen was mad

She pulled away quickly after, but remained close to you

“I don’t want Owen.”

Of course barely anyone was looking

(Owen was)

But it felt as if everything went silent

Only the two of you existed

“I only want you”

Safe to say she beat tf out of Owen whenever he’d come remotely close to you

#abby tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #abby anderson #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson one shot #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #tlou x reader #tlou ellie #tlou preferences #tlou part two #tlou fanfic #dina x reader #dina imagine #dina tlou #ellie x dina #ellie williams imagine

811 notes · View notes

obeiii-mee · 4 years ago

Note

Can I angst for Mammon where he is in a really bad mood and his brothers are at it again calling him names. And already ask them kindly to leave him alone but they keep at it. And Levi says something and it's the last straw. The air around them get cold for a moment as he slowly looks up and he flat out threatens them to shut up before he puts them back into there place with a really dark and threatening voice, before leaving. And the look could rival Satan's or even Lucifers glare.

I think Mammon takes the abuse of his brothers but sometimes he isn't in the mood and want a little peace and it is very very rare for him to get pissed

Like he's the kind of person who would yell when he's upset but when he's down right pissed it's like really fucking scary

People forget that as much as he lets his brothers push him around he is still the second oldest and is powerful so 😬

Brothers+ undateables reaction

Mammon snaps:

___________________

This is something I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but I basically second everything you said. I believe that Mammon dislikes getting into confrontations but isn’t by any means weak or stupid. He is the second eldest. However he is also, arguably, the one with the most self control out of them all. He has an overwhelming amount of patience when it comes to his siblings and I like to think he puts up with all of their insults because he loves them. Then again, it’s very possible for him to go berserk after years worth of build up.

Thanks for the request!!! I had a bit of trouble at first because I didn’t know how I was going to format it but I like the way it turned out so I hope you do too. Uhh also I reached my word limit writing this so I couldn’t include Simon, Luke and Solomon. I do plan on writing for them as well but at this point I’m just trying to get this done. Let me know if I made any grammatical errors! I double check my writing all the time but sometimes mistakes got over my head! The undateables are short because honestly I view the brothers as the ones who will suffer the most out of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading it anyway!!

•Characters: Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphagour, Diavolo, Barbatos.

⚠️Warnings: Cursing, mentions of blood & gore and that’s about it.

___________________

For the past few months, Lord Diavolo’s pleasure of hosting parties and inviting people over had become more and more noticeable. It was pretty obvious that the Prince was lonely, isolating himself from others due to the responsibilities he has as the heir to the throne and a leader in the making. Attending his gatherings seemed like a down right chore for most of the brothers but you never had any problem tagging along. Besides, it felt nice knowing he seemed you worthy of coming to such important meetings. Your seven demons were, of course, also invited and per Lucifer’s orders, they all got cleaned up and dressed in fancy clothing to impress the regals prancing about the castle. Though the outfits themselves came with their own set of problems. Levi’s was way too tight; the collar seemed to annoy him more than anything else, judging by the patches of red skin on his neck. Satan accidentally ripped one of the buttons from his jacket off in a fit of rage earlier that day and was now silently fuming while poking his finger through the hole he made. Even Asmo spilled some water on his shirt before they arrived, ruining his pretty pink suit! Not to mention Beel was munching on his tie, having last eaten about 15 minutes beforehand. Lucifer pulled it out of his mouth and scowled at the saliva stains that were left behind. Safe to say they were all in a miserable mood to begin with.

“I expect all of you to behave in a respectable manner,” Lucifer flicked Belphie on the back of the head just as he began dozing off, making the youngest growl at him. He shot Mammon an irritated look “I’m especially talking to you Mammon. Don’t try to steal anything or I’ll cut your hands off.”

“I told ya big bro, ya don’t have to worry about me! I’ll be a golden child today! Promise!” Mammon held up his pinky as if he was committing to some kind of oath. The eldest darkened his glare and opened his mouth to say something else, but you interrupted in hopes of avoiding any bickering that might’ve followed.

“Look, there’s our table! Let’s go sit down. Lord Diavolo’s speech is going to start any minute now.”

Beel leaped at the table as soon as he sniffed out the appetisers, which were neatly arranged on the expensive tablecloth, shoving at least half of them in his mouth by the time the rest of you caught up with him. Having been seated, you quickly glanced around the room in hopes of spotting Diavolo. You bumped into Solomon and the angels before entering the castle, chit chatting with them for a while about the event. Even now, Luke was excitedly waving at you from across the room, using both of his arms. However, Lord Diavolo and Barbatos were the ones in charge of this party and you were yet to see either of them.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mammon eyeing the golden utensils laid out in front of him. Not the biggest of surprises really. Anytime Mammon sees something along the lines of gold, he can’t help but snatch it away. And there’s obviously so many valuables scattered all over the place, including the silverware that was proudly presented on every table. You sucked in a breath of anticipation when he reached for one of the spoons, only to exhale in relief when he placed it on the bridge of his nose, trying to balance it.

“MC, look at this!” He tapped your shoulder, as always wanting your full and undivided attention as he demonstrated his newfound skill. You giggled at his antics with fondness as he accidentally let the spoon drop with a clatter and a quiet ‘shit’ coming from him. Lucifer pulled on his ear, like a mother scolding her child and whisper-yelled at him to stop acting like an idiot. The only reason the oldest chose a sit right next to Mammon was to maintain order and peace. Basically, he did it for disciplinary reasons.

“I understand that being impertinent is your full-time job, Mammon but keep this up and I’ll throw you in Cerberus’ room. Let him do with you as he pleases.”

“Lucifer, it’s not a big deal-“

“Yeah, OK,” Mammon hissed, picking up the spoon from the recently polished floor with a slight grin that didn’t quiet reach his eyes “I gotcha. Can-“

“Speaking of Cerberus,” Levi suddenly piped in, no longer fussing about his collar or nervously twiddling with his thumbs because of the massive crowd of demons surrounding him “Didn’t you force me to walk him last week when it was your turn to do it?? I only agreed because you promised to buy me the newest Ruri-Chan limited edition body pillow that came out last Tuesday! And you never did! And now they’re out of stock, you scummy piece of-“

The third eldest would’ve leapt across the table and aimed for the throat if you hadn’t pressed a gentle hand against his chest, making him sit back down with a huff. People were starting to stare at the commotion coming from your table, turning heads and muttering between themselves. You were slowly dying from embarrassment by the way, since you guys definitely became the topic of conversation for the other guests. The brothers were being too noisy to even notice and Lucifer himself was too preoccupied to see the scene they were creating which made you further slouch down into your chair, silently hoping for the ground to swallow you whole. The night really wasn’t going as intended. You could hear Solomon laughing at the brothers’ antics from three tables down.

“I guess that’s Mammon for you,” Belphie yawned, barely raising his head from table “He lies everyday, all day. What exactly is new here? And that says something since it’s coming from me.”

“I apologised for that!” Mammon whined, referring to Levi’s accusation and choosing not to address Belphie’s insult “I was gonna buy it but then I realised I spent all my money earlier that week anyway so I couldn’t!”

“Perhaps that wouldn’t happen if you learned how to save the money you earn properly,” Satan muttered, sipping from his glass of whatever beverage he had snatched from the servants earlier “Not like you know how to earn money in any way besides stealing it.”

You watch as Mammon clenched his fist “Can we please just move on-“

“I can’t believe that I was cursed with this moron for a brother,” Asmo sighed, almost theatrically, as if he was performing. And, in a way, he was. People were getting really interested in the drama unfolding over there. It was making you even more anxious, all those eyes staring at you. The Avatar of Lust was leaning so much on his chair, you were sure he was going to topple over and at this point, you kinda hoped he would. Anything to stop this momentum of hatred aimed at Mammon “You’re always getting us in trouble, you know. Hmph, we can’t go anywhere with you Mammon! You always end up ruining it for us! With your stupid schemes and-“

“I’m hungry-“

“Not now, Beel!”

“Cutting him up into tiny pieces for the witches will always be an option,” Lucifer chimed in, smiling at the thought.

Mammon snapped his head upwards at that. It was such an abrupt reaction, it made you jolt a little in your seat. You couldn’t miss the tension radiating from him, how quickly his body stiffened and exactly how hard his hands were gripping the edge of the table. His brothers were still paying him no mind, blaming him for this and that under their breath or being silently judgemental in Lucifer’s case. You worried for him because Mammon rarely acted like this; feral, in a way. Just so you know, he definitely noticed it. The look of concern plastered all over your face. That’s the only reason he released the table from his vice-like grip and slouched back against his chair. Satan went quiet and was staring at Mammon in bewilderment.

He disliked the idea of you watching him lose control of himself. He was your guardian. Your first pact. It’s important to him that your relationship is build around a pillar of trust. And he can’t even expect you to trust him if he exposes you to his demon form every time something inconveniences him. Mammon would rather cease to exit than have you fear him. So he kept his breathing regulated as the fog cleared his mind. The Avatar of Greed isn’t an angry demon. Snuffing out the the flame of rage he had fanned up until then was relatively easy. He just needed to get through tonight, then he could go home and complain to you about it once he got out of his brothers’ earshot.

“Why does he get to spend so much time with MC anyway? He’d probably sell them for a few Grimm any time of the day, wouldn’t he? It’s so fucking unfair. He won’t change no matter what so why risk MC’s safety? I will summon Lotan on him if he starts getting on my nerves.”

It would be an understatement to say that those words rubbed Mammon the wrong way, judging by the lack of immediate response. It was unexpected for him keep his mouth shut at a time like this. What was even more unexpected was the abrupt, delayed reaction he had a few seconds afterwards, resulting in his chair being flung back about 5 feet in that general direction. The seemingly deafening thud it made when it collided with the floor echoed around the dining hall, bouncing off walls and whacking people over the heads with the aggression behind it. A moment of pure, indescribably loud silence filled the crowded space as everyone else stared in shock at their brother, mouths agape and eyes bulging out of their sockets. Mammon would’ve laughed at their faces if it weren’t for the circumstances leading up to that point.

“What gives any of you the right to treat me like some sort of punching bag?” Mammon drawled, accentuating his obviously superior nature to almost every single demon at that table. He laughed, in an oddly half hearted way, before his sea struck gaze landed back to his siblings “Do not try to push me into a corner, because I will not handle it well. You’ve been having a field day with me for centuries now and I’m starting to get really ticked off, ya know? But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’ve done everything in my power to keep MC alive for the past few months and y’all are acting as if I’m out here playing with their life. Complain about me all you want. But...” He thumped the table, loud enough to make all the noblemen in the room flinch.

“Don’t you dare insinuate that I would ever put MC in danger, willingly or not because I will rip out your insides and paint the walls of this palace with them while hanging your intestines from these chandeliers. I will pluck your hairs out one by one, then your nails, then your eyeballs and then your teeth. You’re the ones that have put MC in danger’s way time and time again in the past few weeks, and you’re out here trying to suggest that I would even think about hurting them? Unlike every single one of you, who almost killed my human-you’re lucky I don’t have your fucking heads.”

He smashed his fist into the table again, using even more of his strength this time and effectively breaking the whole thing, the wooden legs giving out and shattering into thousands of splinters. Mammon spoke again, his voice lowering “MC forgave you. I didn’t. And I have no reason to. Not with how you’ve been treating me.”Once he spit that out, Mammon turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut behind him hard enough to shake the whole building, leaving his siblings in dazed awe.

......

Even more silence. For some reason, all of the brothers at the now broken table ended up looking your way, silently questioning what they should do. It often ended up like this

You gave them all an unimpressed stare and a half-assed shrug “Don’t look at me. You guys fucked up.” Before sliding out of your seat and following Mammon out of the castle, sending an apologetic smile to Diavolo on your way out. Hopefully, you could manage to calm him down before everyone else gets home otherwise this might drag on for a while.

Lucifer:

-In all honesty, he probably saw the signs from a mile away and still decided to ignore them

-Maybe because he believed they weren’t being all that harsh on him, even if in Mammon’s eyes they were

-‘Harsh’ in Lucifer’s vocabulary usually means being hanged upside down from a ceiling or publicly executed, not a couple of mere insults

-Not to mention the eldest had always been horrible at communicating with his brothers when it came to emotions

-Despite Mammon clearly suffering from the treatment he received from his brothers, Lucifer refuses to believe he’s the root of the problem

-As the Avatar of Pride, he always had a hard time realising that all those words and the constant teasing, which he deemed to be pretty harmless, scarred Mammon a lot more than expected

-Once he actually comes to that conclusion, and after getting over the initial shock, Lucifer would probably feel the guiltiest out of them all

-Being the eldest means he carries quite a few burdens on his shoulders as most responsibilities fall on him due to his prideful nature

-He would blame himself for Mammon’s outburst simply because he’s the older brother and he should’ve known better, not just because he sees how a big of a role he played in all of this

-Usually, if his brothers do something bad, then he’s there to fix it within hours, that’s how it always worked

-Except he doesn’t know how to fix this exactly

-The problem is he has no idea how to approach Mammon after that sudden meltdown and he has no idea how to talk it out with him because he sucks at expressing himself verbally

-And since this took place in a public space, Lord Diavolo’s Palace no less, he felt really conflicted on what should have been done at that moment in time

-There was a lot of frustration, embarrassment and confusion in him for a good five minutes after Mammon slammed that door shut behind him and even after he gathered his thoughts together, he was still in shock for the rest of the night

-In any case, the whole event was promptly cancelled and everyone ended up going home earlier than expected, after Lucifer apologised to Diavolo about the spectacle they created (several times)

-When they finally get home, he decided to give Mammon his space instead of trying to knock at his door and instead went back to his room

-He knows they will need to solve this matter soon but there’s no way Mammon will want to see, let alone talk, to any of them just yet

-He’s sort of hoping he can apologise best he can next morning at breakfast, cross his fingers and wish for the best but judging by the venom that laced Mammon’s voice the night before, it’s not likely he will forgive any of them that easily.

Levi:

-If I were to guess, he saw the ending credits of his life flash before his very eyes as soon as those words left his mouth

-Levi felt a panic in him like never before, not even while playing his engaging horror visual novels at 3am in complete darkness or that one time he used Lucifer’s credit card to buy merch before being found out

-Must’ve forgotten his brother technically ranks higher than him on the power scale for a second there

-Or maybe he didn’t think his insults were going to affect him much

-They usually don’t

-Or at least that’s the impression he’s been under for a while now

-Mammon doesn’t snap easily under pressure but Levi must’ve really hit a nerve there that night

-While everyone was sitting in a short silence after Mammon left the building, he started twiddling with his fingers again the more he thought about it

-Because now he went from nervous to fucking terrified of what the hell was waiting for him when he finally got home

-He does feel guilty, nowhere near as much guilt as Lucifer feels but still pure shame

-However most of that guilt is swallowed by a steady fear and the constant worry of ‘how do I stop my brother from killing me?’

-Unlike Lucifer, I honestly don’t see him taking any sort of initiative when it comes to apologising to Mammon

-Not even because he doesn’t want to, but he would freeze up if he were to come face to face with him after that incident and then scamper back to his room like a rat in hiding

-So without your help, it’s likely the two won’t be speaking to each very soon which can honestly make life at the House of Lamentation so much more miserable

-In the end, if either you or Lucifer forced him to, he would say sorry by selling some of his merch and then giving him the profits (in secret but we all know it’s him)

-That is a big sacrifice on Levi’s part considering how precious his merchandise is to him

-But the idea that he’s gonna get murdered in his sleep by his older brother was getting a tad too real

-Besides, Mammon is still his brother and if he has to sell a couple of items in order to make him less mad, he would do it, albeit with a bit of grumbling

-Despite that, Mammon still refuses to come out of his room and sort of relies on you to bring him food because he doesn’t want to see his brothers

-Levi and Mammon would probably have to rebuild a lot of their relationship after this but it could easily take months for that to happen since Levi is too terrified to look him in the eye and Mammon is too upset to even hear his voice

Satan:

-He wouldn’t be the Avatar of Wrath if he couldn’t spot the anger within someone from a mile away

-He’s always been able to recognise the fury building up inside of him so for Satan it’s second nature to just know when someone’s on the brink of snapping

-It’s no surprise to say that he probably noticed Mammon’s wrath spilling out before anyone else did

-But alas, he realised it too late

-If he had reacted quicker, maybe he would’ve been able to diffuse Mammon before he exploded on them. Or not

-It’s difficult to tell if he could’ve actually helped because who was he to tell Mammon to calm down??? If anyone told him that while he was throwing a fit, he would probably break their necks-

-In the end, he just pressed his lips into a straight line and watched his brother throw his chair across the room

-Not gonna lie, he found it a bit entertaining purely because of the look on Lucifer’s face

-Satan had to try really hard not to crack a smile because he knew Mammon would probably smash a glass against his head or something

-Even so, he was the first to stand up and offer to go after him, though he wasn’t sure he could do much consoling

-Being so experienced with anger meant that he knew Mammon had built himself into a rage that he won’t be able to escape out of too easily

-Which is why he advises Lucifer to give Mammon his space once they get home

-Overall, the most understanding out of all of the brothers

-At this point in time, probably the least judgemental out of everyone and once Mammon comes out of his room for the first time in a while, either him or Beel is going to apologise to him first

-He may push and push him alongside the rest of his siblings but I feel like Satan doesn’t want to reach a certain low, like cornering Mammon into the frenzy he had that day ever again

-He might get pissy with him if he’s being too stubborn to forgive anyone after coming down from his intrusive thoughts

-And he really hates that Mammon had to remind them about all the times you had nearly died because of them, because he knows they won’t be able to make it up to you so why is Mammon upset about this????

-But he will try to maintain respect for his older brother from then on

-Even if the sharpest of remarks is on the top of his tongue!

Asmo:

-Asmo is the type to laugh it off and then start feeling really upset about it later on, the longer he thinks about the whole thing

-After Mammon storms out, he just assumes it’s another one of those ‘Mammon’ things and tried to brush the feeling of unease off him

-Even so, later that night the memory of Mammon kept coming back to him while he laid in his bed, unable to have a nice rest for the first time in how long? He’s always been really strict about his sleeping schedules after all

-Asmo’s observant, almost on par with Satan himself when it comes down to it. He definitely saw the gleam of anger, pent up frustration and hatred in his brothers’ eyes that moment and it legitimately scared him, even if it was for just half a second

-Honestly, he begins neglecting himself out of anticipation and worry which is a huge red flag for the Avatar of Lust who always holds himself at such a superior level compared to everyone else

-It may start out slow, but it has the same effect as a snowball rolling down the hill. It becomes more of a problem the longer it’s ignored

-Because he spends most of his days now debating whether he should try to coax his brother into coming out of his room and apologising to him, he forgets about himself

-Skincare routines are missed, pedicure appointments have been cancelled; hell, if Mammon’s keeps being stubborn, he may let his hair become absolutely filthy

-Asmo sort of relies on his brothers to provide the living environment he revolves around. If something is off with his brothers, he can not work properly either because it doesn’t feel right to do so

-Imagine a machine not working anymore because one of the clogs in it got stuck

-I can see Asmo feeling a decent amount of guilt when it comes to the situation but he still blames Levi for completely pushing him over the edge at dinner

-So now those two aren’t talking (it’s honestly so exhausting since they’re shoving the blame onto each other without stop)

-If Mammon decides to come out and hear them out, Asmo might get on his knees and beg because that guilt bubbling up inside of him may end up being his demise

-No seriously, MC might need to keep an eye out on him too while comforting Mammon because whatever he is doing isn’t healthy

-Takes Mammon’s outburst pretty badly and tries apologising to him many times but the second eldest still hasn’t said a word to any of them

-And that’s driving him into a fucking swirl of insanity at this point

-Of course, much like Mammon’s mental breakdown, this builds up over time but the result can be devasting

-If you pass by his room at night, you could probably hear him sob about how his brother hates him and it’s really heartbreaking to hear pained cries like that coming from such an overly confident demon like Asmo

Beel:

-Literally the only one here that doesn’t dish out insults onto Mammon every hour of the day

-He joins in very rarely and even when he does, it’s usually in good nature rather than malice

-Unless food is involved. Feelings (and Mammon) might be hurt if that’s the case

-Beel wasn’t listening to his siblings as they were diminishing Mammon, he was way too hungry to comprehend what the hell they were on about

-So he just started wolfing down appetisers until he noticed you looking all weary

-That’s the first thing that put him on alert

-And then the second born’s aura was also...off putting

-Might’ve actually tried to nudge Belphie to stop him from saying anything offensive to Mammon in this state when he realised how tense the atmosphere got

-Flinched when his brother left the palace, almost cracking the whole doorway on his way out

-Hunger is all but gone and at this point he wants to go home to check up on him

-Beel is a bit of a softie and he wears his heart on his sleeve a lot of the times

-He never did anything particularly bad to Mammon, not on the same scale his brothers did certainly and yet he still felt extremely bad

-Perhaps because he didn’t step in as much as he should’ve...?

-Either way, when his loved ones suffer, he has a tendency of putting the blame on himself because he feels it’s the only logical answer

-Honestly, he feels guilty enough to the point where it’s affecting his eating habits-which is obviously not normal for the Avatar of Gluttony

-Beel knows Mammon doesn’t want to talk to him but he still brings him food and leaves it at the doorstep of his room since he doesn’t want to come out and have dinner with them

-Or he relies on you to give it to him

-The thought of Mammon being so mad at them that he doesn’t even want to eat makes him feel so vulnerable

-As soon as he sees him for the first time since that night, he will probably be the first to apologise, even if Mammon isn’t in the mood to hear apologies

-Again, he’s trying to use food to make up to him (bringing him his favourites and paying for them)

-Even if he gets ignored, he’s still going to do it

-Beel is trying his best to say sorry to his older brother the only way he knows how to do so, but Mammon still doesn’t give in

Belphie:

-Could’ve been asleep the whole time Mammon was thrashing about

-Or at least that’s what it looked like to the average passer-by

-Kept one eye open to watch as Mammon finally snapped under pressure, having to raise his head once his brother broke the whole god damned table

-“OK, alright, storm off I guess-I have a splinter now-“

-Don’t trust that sarcastic commentary, he’s in deep thought on the inside

-Maybe he should’ve expected this but then again, he never would’ve guessed Mammon had it in him to be so aggressive

-Will narrow his eyes at him when he talks your death and scowl

-As if he didn’t already feel like the world’s biggest piece of shit, he had to bring that up

-As soon as he leaves, he turns to Lucifer and goes “See what you did? You broke Mammon. You suck, Lucifer.”

-The shifting of blame suits Belphie really well (it takes Beel side glancing him to get him to shut up)

-The Avatar of Sloth is too tired to even try to communicate with his brother so he goes straight to bed after getting home

-However, he actually visits Mammon’s dreams that night

-Or at least tries to, if Mammon is getting any sleep after that showdown

-It’s his way of checking in with his brother, helps him evaluate the situation

- Whether that works or not, there was definitely an attempt that required a lot of effort and you don’t see that very often with Belphagour

-It really demonstrates how much he actually cares for his family, even if he hides behind snide remarks and the likes of it

-However, if Mammon refuses communication, then he can’t do anything but give up

-He clearly won’t be able to convince him to step aside for a chit chat and why waste energy trying to force him to do so

-When the time comes, Belphie knows his brother will willingly talk to him (or at least someone else because he knows he’s not any good at comfort or apologies)

-At the same time, a lot of the things Mammon said during that party rubbed him the wrong way and seeing his twin suffer because of it is also pissing him off so patience may be running thin with Belphie

-Like Levi, there may be a lot of ice between the two from then onwards so it won’t be easy for them to find the middle ground in this whole argument either

-It could lead to a strained relationship if no one intervenes or even a physical fight if the youngest pushes all of Mammon’s buttons properly

Diavolo:

-The Future King feels guilty too, for some reason

-He is clearly not involved but he’s under the impression his party was a catalyst of sorts to the fight that broke out that night

-Diavolo wasn’t even in the same room when it happened-he heard shouting and growling from next door whilst talking to a noble about future arrangements in DevilDom and rushed in

-The sight was something to behold really; Mammon cornering all of his brothers and threatening them with pure venom in his voice wasn’t something you saw everyday

-More often than not, it was the other way around so the Prince had every right to be concerned

-He tried asking Lucifer what was going on after the second eldest slammed the door shut behind him and left but to no avail; the Avatar of Pride was in a state of shock and the only thing he did was apologise to him about a million times before his departure with the rest of his siblings

-Despite his worry, Diavolo tried not to get involved in the aftermath either, believing it’s not his place to interfere and hoping they would solve it out amongst themselves

-He did give Mammon permission to miss RAD classes for that week, thinking a small break is what he needed most

-Even drops by every now and then to check up on him (he just asks you how he’s holding up because he doesn’t want to pry)

-He can’t do much but watch from the sidelines, I mean this is a family dispute so it would be wise to just give them all a bit of space

-If it drags on for too long, however, he will be forced to do something because the brothers are all distracted and can’t get on with their student council work because of it

-Lucifer is even more stressed than usual and can’t even focus during their meetings so for the sake of his friend, if nothing gets resolved quickly, he will intervene and it won’t be pretty

-For now, he’s counting on you to make sure there are no further incidents but it’s unlikely you can stop a train once it’s set in motion so just hope Mammon doesn’t come out of his room until he’s calmed down

Barbatos:

-The butler is a Time Lord so it’s probably no surprise to find out he already knew this was going to happen eventually

-Not like he believed Mammon was going to take his brothers’ insults for much longer anyway

-Being the quiet and observant demon he is, he’s been keeping a close eye on the Avatar of Greed knowing damn well he was going to lose his patience soon enough and go on the offence

-If he knew this was going to happen at such an important moment in time, he would’ve warned his majesty beforehand but he failed to see the potential catastrophe awaiting his breakdown

-Again, he has no right to intervene

-Unless, of course, Lord Diavolo asks him to do so but really the most he can do is give you tips on how to deal with miserable demons

-I mean, you’re the one that’s going to be stuck with them for the rest of the year and this isn’t the type of conflict that gets resolved too easily

-Barbatos is clever so if there is still bitterness between Mammon and his siblings after an amount of time passed, he might try to change timelines (with the permission of Diavolo)

-He’s had enough of Beel coming over to eat his cakes and cry about his older brother hating him (believe it or not, the butler is definitely a bit fond of the sixth eldest so his cries did pull at his heartstrings)

-Basically, in the same position as the Prince

-He relies on you to get them all to make up but he knows it’s not likely to happen any time soon

-For now, he’s getting ready for the chain reaction this fight set in motion because there was no easy way to end this, considering they’re all vicious demons and all

—————————————————————-

Al~ im mad I couldn’t add Simon, Luke and Solomon-I want to write for them too >:(

1K notes · View notes

strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years ago

Text

Part Seventeen. The Bugity Stream

warnings: swearing, dream is jealous, kinda angsty word count: 4k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist wattpad

a/n: heheheeee bugity stream!! barely any dreamsy interaction and we don’t read the actual bugity fanfics, but lots of pouty dream :/ and we’re seeing stuff from a new person’s POV (also, elmo and i 389757% have come up with lore for the foxtrot fic that they mention in this chapter..... side fic??) everyone say THANK YOU HARVEY FOR BEING AN AMAZING BETA (@hungoverhellhound) ur the best :) also also, �� anon suggested using discord people’s names for twitch chat so i did!! (i asked beforehand and everyone who wanted to be included was) it was fun adding that little bit so hehe hope mushroom field likes their comments

ANYWAY, ENJOY THIS PART!!!!!!!!! and as always, thanks for all the positive comments and stuff yall really make me cry /pos

**********

George’s POV

George left the messaging app when he received a spam of notifications from Dream on Discord telling him to call him as soon as possible. He knew it wasn’t an actual emergency, which is the only reason he took his sweet time rising from his bed and meandering over to his desk. George fell on his chair with a huff, taking a deep breath before pulling himself closer to his desk and opening Discord. He picked up his headphones and slid them on, preparing himself for the loud voice his best friend was about to use. After pressing a few familiar buttons, he could hear his best friend's frantic cry for help through his headphones.

“GEORGE.”

He tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. “Dream.”

“I'm-I’m going to literally—GEORGE. What am I supposed to do?”

“About what?”

“You know what!” Dream huffed, exasperated. “The stream!”

“You don’t even know what it is, why are you being so weird about it?”

“I’m not being weird,” he defended.

“Yes, you are,” George countered. “You’re, like, panicking, I dunno.”

“Because it’s Quackity! He’s probably gonna make, like, a proposal video or some shit to show her and then everyone is going to ship them and she’s going to forget about me and—”

“This wouldn’t be a problem if you tell her you like her.”

Dream scoffed. “Oh, so they can make fun of me for it? No, thanks.”

“She wouldn’t make fun of you for liking her,” George reasoned. Definitely not. “Why would Bugsy make fun of you for that? Or for anything in general?”

“Okay, maybe not, but she’d definitely be weirded out or not believe me. I can’t tell her yet. It… it has to be the right time.”

George thought it was rather cute that Dream cared so much about his confession being perfect, whereas Quackity was doing everything he could to make Dream just say it. Dream had been stressing over how to tell her he liked her for a few weeks, constantly running ideas by George before telling him to forget it and coming up with new plans. He could see how important it was to Dream that he did it right. They just needed to figure out what “right” was.

“Fine, but I’m just saying if you told her already, you wouldn’t have to be so worried about this.”

“Should I be? You make it sound like me panicking is justified! WHAT ARE THEY DOING?”

“Stop being so dramatic!” George laughed. “She isn’t going to forget about you and if he proposes to her, we can just ask to join the call and we’ll all yell at Quackity for you, okay?”

“No, I wanna yell at Quackity.”

“Well, he said he’s not going to let you in the call so…”

“He did? When did he say that? Wait, why won’t he let me in?? What are they doing??”

George laughed at the franticness in Dream’s voice. “I’m not allowed to say.”

“George!”

“I can’t!” he said as he threw his hands into the air. “I literally can’t!”

“Oh come on, you’ve never kept a secret in your life but now you decide to?”

George shook his head. If only Dream knew how many secrets he was actually keeping, it would be obvious just how good George was at not spilling things.

“George, just tell me what they’re doing,” Dream begged, his voice now somber and genuinely worried instead of frantic. “Please.”

“I can’t, Dream. I’m sorry. But really, it’s going to be okay.” Hating the seriousness of the conversation and the oddly soft tone of his voice, George changed the subject. “Oh, look at that, Karl wants to join the call. I’ll add him,” he said quickly, knowing Dream wasn’t going to say anything about how much he liked Bugsy around her best friend. In Dream’s eyes, Karl was unaware of his feelings for Bugsy, and George assumed he wanted to keep it that way.

“Wait, George before you—” Dream started softly but was cut off by the sound of someone joining the call.

“Hey, Karl!” George greeted obliviously.

“Hi! Neither of you are streaming or recording or anything, right?” Karl asked.

“No,” Dream answered bluntly.

“We’re just waiting for Quackity to start his stream and we’re gonna watch together.”

“Oh, yeah!” Karl cackled. “You really wanna see it, Dream? Even though Quackity will probably hit on Bugsy?”

“Yeah, why should I care?” he faked disinterest, even though everyone in the call knew he would definitely care if that happened. “It probably will be funny, to be fair. And since Bug will be too busy to talk to me, I guess I can still, you know, hear her voice…” he trailed off to an almost inaudible volume and George smiled, deciding not to tease the younger boy for the sweet sentiment.

“I'll watch it with you,” Karl said. “We can all make fun of them together.”

George noted the long pause of silence before Dream softly asked, “Do you know what they’re doing, Karl?”

“Yup!”

“W-what is it?”

“Mmm, can’t say! Sorry!” Karl chirped in fake obliviousness. “Why do you want to know?”

George rolled his eyes; he knew what Karl was doing, pretending like he didn’t already know Dream would be jealous in hopes that Dream would spill to him. It’s like he and Quackity enjoyed causing Dream pain, pushing him to the edge in situations where he couldn’t vent his feelings, forcing him to keep it inside and build it up in an overwhelming pile of emotions.

“Just… curious,” Dream lied.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” Karl said nonchalantly. “I’m gonna be honest though, George, can I just say, I’m a little annoyed with them.”

George laughed. “Really, why?”

Karl hummed, choosing his words carefully. “It might mess things up,” he said softly.

“Yeah, I’m starting to see what you mean by that,” George admitted vaguely. In the few minutes he had been talking to Dream, he could already tell it wasn’t going to go over well with the blond boy.

“Can you guys just… tell me what they’re doing?” Dream tried again, the desperation spilling out of him. “Why is it a big deal? What would it mess up?”

Karl giggled again. “Bugsy and Quackity like keeping their fans on their toes, you know? As Bugsy’s number one fan it would be the worst to tell you.”

“Well, I’m also Quackity’s number one anti right now so it cancels out,” Dream reasoned. “So you can tell me.”

“Aw, he admitted he’s her number one fan!” Karl teased.

Dream groaned when he realized he wouldn’t get anywhere by repeatedly asking the same question. In other words, he gave up. “When are they supposed to start?”

“Um, soon I think?” George answered vaguely as he opened Twitch on his other monitor. “He’s not live yet but he Tweeted earlier that it would be around now.”

There were a few moments of silence before Karl spoke up. “So, how have you guys been today?”

“Mm, pretty good,” George admitted, scrolling through Twitter on his phone and pretending to not hear Dream’s pitiful sighs. “Kinda slow, but not bad. What about you?”

“Good, actually. Bugsy, Naomi, and I went out for lunch earlier which was fun. Speaking of…” Karl giggled. “Naomi? And you? What’s up?”

George felt himself turn red at the mention of their relationship, whatever it was. “Why don’t you ask her?”

“I have,” he admitted happily. “I just want to make sure your stories line up.”

“Karl! No, that’s-that’s… I’m not telling you anything now.”

“George doesn’t talk about feelings, Karl. He’s not going to tell you. I know his side of the story though,” Dream said. “He’s told me.”

“What did he say?”

“I could tell you,” Dream bargained, attempting to get the information he wanted in any way possible, “if you tell me what Quackity and Bug are streaming.”

Karl cackled. “Woah, woah, woah, Dream. I don’t need to know that bad. Dang, you’re really impatient!”

“Yes, okay!” Dream snapped, annoyance in his voice. “Sue me for wanting to know what super top-secret thing that the girl I really like and the boy who constantly publicly flirts with her are doing! Because it’s obviously not just a cooking stream or roblox or else you guys wouldn’t act like the FBI put you in charge of keeping it from me. And don’t give me that garbage and ask why I assume it’s something flirty just because it’s being kept from me. I know that all of you are aware of how much I like her so Quackity is definitely doing it on purpose. Literally everyone except maybe Y/n knows I like her, I know that. So yes I want to know and yes I’m worried about what the fucking stream is.”

George and Karl were silent for a few moments, processing his rant. Maybe Karl was right, maybe it was stupid of Y/n to try to make him jealous this way. Sure, jealous Dream was entertaining, but when was it too far? Would Dream think them reading fanfiction together was funny at all or just purely exasperating? George started to think the latter was more likely.

“Shit,” Karl mumbled. “Dream—”

“Dream, I promise there’s nothing to actually be worried about,” George tried reassuring.

“Yeah, you’ll probably get jealous and it’s very understandable if you do but… Quackity’s just messing around,” Karl added.

Dream took a deep breath and almost on cue, George got a notification from Twitter that Quackity had tweeted.

“He’s live,” Karl announced softly and they waited to hear Dream’s reaction once he saw the title.

It came softly, a voice of disbelief ringing through George’s headphones. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Hey, you’re already trending for your joke, that should make you happy,” Karl offered and Dream knocked something over on his desk.

“Shit,” he mumbled through the mic. “Shit, shit, shit. I spilled my—shit.” A few seconds passed and George took the silence to share his screen with the others so they could watch the video together. “No, Karl, that doesn’t make me feel better. It’s not really a joke. I mean, I’ll play it off as one but… wait, don’t share your screen,” he told George. “I don’t want to watch this shit.”

“You said you did.”

“That was when I didn’t know what it was,” he replied as if it was obvious. “I don’t want to watch them read fanfiction together.”

“He doesn’t actually like her,” Karl reminded gently.

“I don’t care, it’s still embarrassing for me! It’s just a fat reminder that she doesn’t like me back and that she’s not my girlfriend.”

George wanted to slam his head against a wall. He opted for his desk instead, his forehead coming in contact with the wood with a loud THUD. It was so hard to keep his mouth shut and not just tell him about Y/n’s feelings.

“It’s, like, Quackity is rubbing it in my face that she doesn’t like me. What an asshole.”

“That’s not what he’s trying to do,” Karl said. His voice sounded as in pain as George felt. Which one of them was going to break first and tell Dream?

He didn’t know how to use words that weren’t ‘Bugsy likes you, dipshit’, so he tried something else. “It might still be funny—”

Dream wasn't laughing. Nothing about this was funny to him. “George.” Frustration was evident in his sharp tone.

“I don't get what the big deal is—”

“They're-they’re reading fanfiction! It's just gonna be a bunch of, like, romantic stories about them and, what, I'm supposed to just watch?”

“You don't have to watch it if you don't want to. I'm sure Quackity won't mind losing one viewer—”

“George, I'm being serious.”

“Calm down,” he said gently. “It's just Quackity. We told you already, he doesn't like Bugsy like that.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m okay with this,” Dream mumbled.

George took a deep breath. He did understand how Dream was in an uncomfortable situation, and even if it wasn't a big deal to him, it was to Dream.

“Hey, Dream?” Karl started gently.

“What?” he spat. He sounded like he was seconds away from disconnecting and hiding in his bed or punching a wall or doing whatever it is Dream does when he’s upset.

Karl hesitated for way too long before saying, “We can do something else if you still want to hang out with us. I don’t want to force you to watch it if it really will upset you.”

Dream breathed deeply. “I’m being dramatic,” he admitted softly, reminding George of a little kid getting reprimanded by an adult. “We can… watch it, I guess.”

“You’re not being dramatic if that’s how you feel,” Karl reassured. When did he become a therapist? George sat back as he listened to them, biting his lips in order to not spill Y/n’s secret. “If it really does make you upset, then that’s that. You’re allowed to be jealous, I mean, I understand why you are. That was literally Quackity’s plan, we expected you to be.”

“I’m not allowed to be jealous, though,” Dream countered lightly. “She’s-she’s not my girlfriend. She’s allowed to do what she wants. I have no right feeling like… like…” he trailed off and sighed.

George raised his head to look at Dream’s Discord icon empathetically.

“I didn’t know you liked her this much,” Karl admitted. “I just thought… well, I don’t know what I thought.”

George agreed. They knew Dream was whipped for Bugsy and that watching a stream of Quackity and her read fanfiction together would piss him off a little, but this was different. He sounded utterly heartbroken.

“I really do,” Dream mumbled, his voice muffled by what George assumed was his hands on his face.

Internally screaming at himself to tell his best friend something that was guaranteed to make him feel better, George wrung his hands together. He looked at his second monitor, which still showed Quackity’s starting soon screen. “Dream?”

“What?”

“Tell her.”

“I can’t, it has to b—”

“It has to be perfect, I know,” George interrupted impatiently but gently. “Tell her soon.”

Dream’s next words came in a soft, embarrassed tone, no longer defensive and combative but rather nervous and contemplative. “What if she doesn’t believe me? Or she thinks I like her for the wrong reasons?”

“Do you mean because you haven’t seen her?” Karl asked sincerely. “Because of that idea her ex got stuck in her head?”

As if suddenly realizing he was in the presence of the person who knew Bugsy better than anyone, Dream’s voice perked up. “Karl,” he paused. “Can you promise me that you won’t tell her anything I tell you?”

“Yes,” Karl replied quickly. “I promise. I want to help you and if that means not telling her, I will.”

“You heard on Quackity’s stream that she and I were FaceTiming? Like, that I’ve seen her?”

“Yeah,” George and Karl replied together.

“I’m still bitter that I found that out from watching a stream instead of from my best friend,” Karl muttered, “but continue.”

George laughed through his nose at Karl’s comment before Dream explained his concern. “Since I didn’t tell Bug that I like her before I saw her, I’m worried she’ll think I only like her now because I know what she looks like. See my problem? If I told her before, she wouldn’t believe me but if I tell her now she might think it’s because of her looks.”

“Oh,” Karl said, his voice muffled behind his hand. “I see what you’re saying. Hm, that’s… I think... I could be wrong, but I’ve talked to Naomi and we both think she’s, like, realizing you don’t need to see someone to like them.”

“How do you figure?”

Karl hesitated. “Not important. But, I think it would be fine if you told her. I think you’ve proven that you like her for more than her looks and she’s blind if she couldn’t tell you liked her before.”

George nodded to himself. “Yeah, Naomi has mentioned that to me too. I think you guys are right. And yeah, Dream, you’ve clearly liked her before so she would understand.”

“What if it makes things weird between us?” Dream asked. “You know, telling her.”

“Trust us, it won’t make things weird.”

“How should I—”

Dream was interrupted abruptly by Quackity unmuting his stream and yelling, “CHAT! HOW ARE WE TODAY?” and laughing loudly.

George flinched at the sudden change in mood. Just as he and Karl were calming Dream down, Quackity went and made the air tense again. George could feel Dream’s anxiety slowly growing.

“Again, we don’t have to watch,” Karl offered but Dream made a noise in protest.

“Let’s watch.”

The atmosphere was tense to say the least, occasional comments trying to lighten the mood about Quackity or Bugsy being funny or stupid, but overall the voice call was quiet. George had no idea what to say to Dream and he could tell Karl didn’t either. Having the chat open wasn’t helping either.

user43: GEORGE IS HERE HE’S GONNA SNITCH TO DREAM libbbyyyyyyyyy: george george george he’s watching venus: bugsy simps getting FED today user13: wattpad writers watch out ItsRainingPastels: this is so funny!! Bugity interactions are amazing Chrimsss: foxtrot???? user71: READ. FOXTROT. cantaloupe: ajsdkfhj please the look on his face when bugsy said “that could be us” user92: FOXTROT NEXT FOXTROT NEXT user48: i'm surprised dream hasn't barged into chat or their call to yell at quackity yet noraimp: i’ve been saying bugity supremacy all along and no one believed me until now hungoverhellhound: stop saying foxtrot i WILL CRY user11: SUCK IT DREAM, BUGSY AND QUACKITY ARE BETTER FOR EACH OTHER bexwastaken: i miss dream :(

George took the liberty of closing the chat so Dream didn’t have to see it.

“Thanks,” he mumbled softly. Apparently that was a good choice on George’s part.

“Chat just gets in the way,” he excused, trying to place the decision on his own reasons rather than embarrass Dream by acknowledging that he knew seeing all the comments was bothering the younger

“This story is actually kinda funny,” Dream admitted. “Well, it’s super cringey but… it’s funny that Bug thinks it’s funny.”

Karl made a small whine in adoration. “That’s so cute.”

“Shut up,” Dream mumbled. “Or I won’t tell you anything ever again.”

“Were you going to?”

“Yeah, maybe, I guess,” Dream said. “If that’s okay with you. You know her better than anyone and… I obviously need advice or nothing is going to happen.”

“Dream,” Karl started formally, “I’d be honored to give you the best Bugsy advice I can offer. And to hear you say cute things like that about her because it’s adorable. I’m sure ranting about how cute she is to George is like talking to a brick wall.”

Dream hummed, a small laugh escaping him. “Yeah, that’s pretty accurate, actually. He’s not very responsive. He doesn’t get it.”

“I’m sure she’s pretty and all, I’m just not good at talking about people’s feelings,” George defended.

George tuned back into the stream as Quackity and Bugsy laughed loudly. “Oh my gosh, holy shit that was wild,” Quackity exclaimed.

“Yeah, what the heck? That was so funny,” Bugsy admitted, still laughing lightly.

“Okay, okay, one down. Guys, stop spamming Foxtrot in my chat, what is that? Is that a fic? I said I already picked everything out, don’t suggest things.” Quackity looked at his phone and laughed. “Wait, I did pick that one out, actually.”

George assumed the chat was going wild and his curiosity got the best of him so he opened it.

user66: READ CHAPTER 10 hungoverhellhound: NOOO NO DON’T READ IT PLEASE I CAN’T HANDLE THIS TODAY venus: this isn’t going to go well libbbyyyyyyyyy: laksjdhjkh try not to fall in love with each other after this one ItsRainingPastels: ive heard things about this fic… everyone cries cantaloupe: YES YES noraimp: are they reading foxtr…. oh no user52: SKIP TO CHAP 10 bexwastaken: dream come get your girl smh Chrimsss: we’re about to watch bugity become real because of this fic user10: it starts slow, do chap 10 or 16!!!! user88: quack isnt in it until later lol

“They said it starts really slow though? I’m not in it until chapter 3?” Quackity scoffed. “Fine, we’ll skip ahead.”

“People are saying ‘Chapter 10’ so that one must be good?” Bugsy suggested and Quackity complied.

George closed the chat again when he registered Dream’s silence and apologized under his breath.

“Try not to fall in love because of this fic?” Quackity read. “Can’t happen because we already are in love, chat.”

Dream scoffed, mirroring Bugsy’s reaction. “In your dreams, duck boy.”

“You are, actually,” Quackity teased.

“Shut the fuck up, Quackity,” Dream grumbled to no one, and George couldn’t help but laugh a little at that.

Foxtrot — the fanfiction the chat was raving about — was really good. At least the chapter they read on the stream was. It was so well written and soft and George hadn’t heard Dream speak in a good 15 minutes. George didn’t dare look at chat after they finished reading that one, opening his phone to text Quackity instead.

“Hold on, one second, chat,” Quackity said, faking a British accent as he looked at his phone. “One second, chat.”

George looked up and saw Quackity smiling at his phone as he set it on his desk and returned to the stream. “Okay!”

George set his phone on his own desk before hearing Bugsy laugh. “Dream just texted me.”

“What did he say?” Quackity asked nervously.

“He’s…” she trailed off and laughed. “He wants to know if I’m leaving him for you. He said, ‘I understand if you have feelings for him after that’. Oh my gosh.” She giggled and George heard Dream laugh through his nose.

“Dream,” Karl laughed. “Why?”

“Do you realize how suspicious it would be if I didn’t make some sort of appearance during the stream after all the things I’ve said on Twitter and stuff? I had to joke around for the chat.”

“Fair…” George said.

“Is he watching?” Quackity asked Bugsy as if George hadn’t just told him they were. “Dream, go away. We aren’t letting you in VC. Just accept the truth,” he laughed loudly.

George shook his head to himself as he realized how much this wasn’t a joke just to mess with the fans. If it was, Quackity would have let Dream into their call so everyone could witness Dream be jealous but instead, he was almost banishing Dream to be jealous in private. The fans not seeing how Dream was actually feeling made it more real somehow. Quackity really wanted Dream and Bugsy to own up to their feelings.

“I want to strangle him,” Dream confessed jokingly. “At this point, I don’t even want to be in their call because I don’t have the energy to play up being sad. I’m just really sad.”

“I told him to stop reading actual cute ones, so it should be fine now,” George announced. “That last one was too much.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Quackity, I’m not falling in love with you,” Bugsy stood her ground with a laugh. “Not happening, bud.”

“We’ll just have to read more until you do,” Quackity cackled and George heard Dream huff.

The stream didn’t last too much longer, Quackity apparently not wanting to take the joke too far even though he already had.

“Thank god that’s over,” Dream mumbled as George unshared his screen and closed Twitch.

“It wasn’t too bad, right?” Karl asked slowly.

Dream hummed. “It was pretty bad, Karl.”

“Yeah, I know,” he sighed.

“But now it’s over and you can go back to talking to Bugsy and have her full attention,” George said positively.

“How am I supposed to talk to her after that?”

“Like normal?”

“What if she brings it up?”

“Then you say, ‘Bugsy, I don’t want to talk about this because I like you’,” Karl suggested. “Simple.”

“Okay, you are no help. No longer coming to you for advice.”

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding. Just… tell her it was funny but don’t elaborate. She’s good at picking up on when people are uncomfortable, she’ll drop it.”

“Or tell her you like her,” George agreed and Karl laughed as Dream groaned.

“No. Not yet.”

“Not yet,” George mimed. “But soon.”

Dream took another deep breath. “Soon.”

__________

PREVIOUS | NEXT

tags: CLOSED @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @iamnothereatthemoment @charsdummb @jeyyes @notgeoreg @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @tinyegg @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman @crybabyjabby @mushroom-main @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk @haseulreturns @queenwastaken @sunbunniie @losingvienna @bi-narystars @zero-nightshade @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime @youhyakuya @danny-devitowo @clubfairy @loser-keiji @oi-itsemily @alm334 @the-katastrophe @wreny24 @applecakeradio @unicornblood4ever @aha-red @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode @strawbrinkofdeath @aikochan4859 @chaotic-tieflings @dreamsofficialwife @where-thesundoesntshine @jamiealenaa @unstableye @kageyamama-hinatatata @officiallyunofficialperson @secretly-a-weeb @localsimp @loxbbg @rhymeorreason1 @flubblubbb @kiritokunuwu @sylum @raining13lemonade @aiyncel @ghostfacefricker6969 @avengemepercy @modyoonie @givemeyourcrunchbars @donttellaweirdweakling @dreamiewrites @misfortunatem00n @mayempress @strang-ersclub @panic-at-space-camp @netheriteaxes @kaqinq @momo-has-a-gun @lunelicmoone @beller-18 @bluechocolatemint @mythicalamphitrite @crypticcandi @80sfeel @asianfrustration13 @justanunknown @libbynotfound @osculatcr @bindythedemon @haikyall @hyuckslytherin @thatonearieschild @the-perfect-gemini @ialexabsuniverse @sleepingalaska @renjunniex @rebellionburnsthemup @moonchildwildx @sarcasticmichelle @carat-eri @ravennightingaleandavatempus @isthatyouritalian @cha0ticg0b1in @suwunarin @bxsmentchildxx @mintchip17 @vincent-stargogh @jules-skye @askgeoff @d-fendyr @diedestress @idiotinnit @gabbysblogthingy @call-me-soap @fujiapfel @stxrryb1tch @onlynarry @squarky-sheep @ecao @ok-honey-blog @saltishima-rex @kodzukatcore @gwendolyn02 @kiwismoothies @flippyninja @xfihvru @anqelanqel @letkeefeswear @cantaloupe-draws @what-is-the-creature-oh-glob @theboywhocriedlupin

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #social media fic #dream social media fic #social media au

766 notes · View notes

kayxleeee · 4 years ago

Text

Tony Stark: Are We Fighting?(Tony x Reader)

Warning: Sexual implying if you squint. Tony being cute and you being mad at him for a second.

A/N: Y’all this is my favorite, I love Tony fluff.

Summary: Tony’s in deep water after you notice the “head of security” watching your every move for an entire week straight. The only problem is, it’s date night, and can you really stay mad at someone with that face?

Word Count: 2k+

*NOT MY GIF* Don’t copy my work !

The aroma of tomato sauce and Italian herbs wafted the air around you immediately as you swung the large front door open, walking in. Tonight was date night, you were starving, but you had a serious bone to pick with the conniving genius. You kick your heels off and make your way through the foyer greeted by dimmed lights, a candle lit living room, soft romantic music playing, and an excessive amount of rose peddles leading up the grand staircase.

Nice touch Stark.

You look at it all in awe, but try to snap out of it, because you meant business tonight.

“Tony?!” You call out wondering where he was.

“In here.” He says peaking his head through the kitchen entry way, wiping his hands dry on a dish towel. “You look ravishing.” He says as he makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist giving you a quick hug and kiss on your forehead. “This isn’t too much is it?”

This was probably the best one yet. You were delighted at his efforts to make date nights memorable, especially since you hardly saw him. He had either been busy being an avenger or down in his lab working his life away. You were also very busy yourself running Stark Industries. Between the meetings and work related calls, it was a very rare occasion when you and Tony could just enjoy each others company. So this was when weekly date nights were born; Just a time to catch up and be together and have unadulterated quality time. You sigh taking it all in. Tony always does them well, especially when he is trying to make up for something. The dimmed lights, roses, music, candles, even his cologne— god, did his cologne smell good, intoxicating even. You could swoon right then and there the atmosphere was the definition of romantic and relaxing and here you are ready to uproar it all.

Damn, right.

“Told you date night would be extraordinary tonight.” He smirks taking your silence as a sign that you were pleased, while wiggling his eyebrows up and down. “Be back in a sec, get comfy.” He says giving you a wink before turning away.

He makes his way back into the kitchen to finish up whatever he had been doing previous and you follow him. He turns around and gives you a weird look, scrunching his face as he sees you following behind him. Those dazzling brown eyes weren’t going to get you this time, you were still mad— Maybe not as mad as you were before coming through that front door, but still upset enough to confront the issue right now.

“So something interesting happened to me today.” You say setting your purse on the kitchen counter as Tony strategically plates the pasta he made.

“Oh yeah?” He says maneuvering through the kitchen. “And what might that be kitten?” After he’s done, he turns to you popping an olive into his mouth, as he leans against the counter behind, ready listen attentively.

“Well I was ya know working my little ass off, minding my business… Ya know as I do every single day. When I noticed a very attentive Happy Hogan, watching my every move.” You say eyeing him suspiciously as he smiled innocently. “I thought to myself, now I’ve been seeing Happy in all sorts of wacky places this week, why would he do something like that?”

“I donno, why babe?” He says dusting his hands together for no particular reason looking everywhere else, but your face.

“Mmmh- maybe he’s just being his old paranoid, overbearing self this week. Watching my every move for no apparent reason.” You say testily, you already know Stark put him up to it.

“Happy is very dedicated to his new position. Didn’t you hear? He’s head of security, babe. He’s gotta be eyes and ears.” He sighs, now moving from his leaning position to begin pouring two glasses of bubbly. “That’s our Happy for ya."

Of course you heard, and of course Tony was the one who appointed him, and of course Stark Industries did not need that.

“Oh jeez golly! Eyes and ears on little ol me?” You say in a fake sarcastic souther bell accent.

He raises his eyebrows, and gives you a well justified laugh, because that accent was horrendous.

“Did you send happy to spy on me or what Tony?” You say getting to the point.

“No.” He says shaking his head from side to side frantically like a child who’s just got caught stealing from the cookie jar. “Nope, I don’t recall.”

“You don’t recall?” You scoff. “It’s a very simple thing to remember doing Tony. Did you say oh Happy please spy on my faithful, loyal, beautiful, loving, girlfriend?”

“Um— are we fighting?” We're not fighting are we?” He sighs genuinely unsure.

You didn’t want to fight or argue either, but he was getting on your nerves beating around the bush. You already knew he did it, you just needed to know why.

“Sure, we aren’t fighting Tony.” You say annoyance booming through, hoping he would just come out with it. He was definitely pushing your buttons. “Now did you send him?”

“ I don’t recall.” He says again now putting on a fake ‘thinking’ face.

“You don’t recall asking him?! Okay, well I am sure if we give him a call that might jog your little memory.” You grab your phone out of your purse quickly dialing his number. “Mmmh I think you’ve been hit on the head entirely way too many times, ya know since you can’t recall events.”

Before you can press the dial button to call Happy, Tony swiftly reaches over the counter where you are standing and snatches the phone from your grip, ending the call before it’s made.

“Okay, listen baby, I think we’re fighting, and I don’t want to fight tonight.” He says with pleading eyes putting his hands up in defense.

“Tony!” You yell at him going to where he is standing in the spacious kitchen. “You're not answering my question and you should have thought about that before asking Happy to spy on me!” Which I’m not understanding what for! Just say you don’t trust me and leave it at that, why play all these games?!”

His face flattened.

“Okay, kitten, listen it wasn’t like that. I do too trust you.”

So he did put Happy up to it— of course he did.

“You better explain or I’m Leaving Tony.”

He sighs heavily, shame settling on his features.

“Happy brought up this guy? Aldrich Killian, said you dated him a while back?" “Oh my go- you don’t trust me!” You exhaust throwing your hands up and turning on the heels of your feet ready to retreat out of the kitchen.

“No!” Tony quickly follows behind you. Come on babe, let’s talk about this!” He says grabbing you by your shoulder gently spinning you around.

“Tony you’re doing a lot of the talking, and only digging yourself in a deeper hole.” You say crossing your arms.

“Okay, let’s back track, I trust you, with everything I own, my life even. I’ve just been overwhelmed and overthinking recently. I can’t say what I did was right, but in the moment I didn’t feel it was exactly wrong either.”

“In the moment Tony really? What moment did you realize I needed to be spied on like some convict? What moment did you realize you didn’t trust me alone at work with some guy, I hardly ever dated by the way!”

“Okay, okay! I did not send him to spy on you, I sent him to keep an eye on you.”

“Same shit Sherlock and I don’t appreciate it ! You say you trust me but tis is definitely not how it’s coming off.” You huff in annoyance, trying to grab your phone from him again, in which he manages to keep it away from you snacking his free arm around you. “Give it back now, I’m leaving Tony!”

“Would you stop getting mad?!” He huffs. “Just- it’s not a trust thing baby. It’s a safety thing.”

“I wouldn’t be getting mad if you’d just tell me the truth and stop beating around the damn bush. I’m over it anyways, I’m going to be leaving now, so give me my phone and let me go.” He rolls his eyes and pulls you into him closer. “No you’re not leaving , stop being dramatic.” He says holding onto you tight, still holding the phone away from your grasp with his other hand. You scrunch up your face about to say something, about his remark, but he quickly says. “And don’t be mad that I think you’re being dramatic about this.” He says to ensure he digs himself out of being in trouble over that stupid comment.

He continues, “You already know I trust you so don’t give me that. I did all of this because I love you.” He says holding you close and swaying the two of you slightly to the music that is still playing softly in the background.

“Not the because I love you speech.” You say rolling your eyes, hands resting on his chest trying to create distance between the two of you, but he just pulls you back into him. “You are so annoying.” You comment on the action, surrendering to his grasp.

“No it’s not like that, I just needed to make sure you were safe. No malicious thought behind it or intent, I swear. I just wanted to make name you are safe at all times.” He says softly with a sigh as he feels that you’ve calmed down.

“Why wouldn’t I be safe at work?” You say looking up at him. He now sets your phone down on the near by counter and places the hand to your face, caressing your cheek.

“Anyone can be in danger anywhere honey, I’ve learned that the hard way— and if I were to loose you? Well let’s just say for my sake and peace of mind, I might of let fear cloud my judgment and asked Happy to keep an eye on you. No spying, just an eye. You know how he gets.” He looks deeply into your eyes and you could tell he was telling the truth. “I’m sorry, okay?” He leans into you just enough to rub his nose against yours playfully. “Do you accept my apology?” He says in a child like voice, giving you puppy dogs eyes.

He was so cute.

“Okay fine, I’m hearing you.” You say caving in. “But you’ve gotta stop him from following my every move— if I’m going to the bathroom, I don’t need him right out the door.” You huff.

“Done, you got it, Happy is officially barred off of bathroom duties. Can we kiss and make up now?” He says this as his lips ghost over yours and you happily lean into the kiss, knowing full well it was long overdue after how hard he worked to impress you tonight. This kiss was sweet and sincere, while also deep and romantic.

“I love you.” He says after breaking the kiss.

“You're a pain, but I love you too.” You both laugh before you give him another kiss.

“Now are we still fighting?” He smirks after pulling away a second time. “Just wanna double check before I invest.”

“You're so annoying.” You laugh rolling your eyes playfully. “No we aren’t.”

“Good because our spaghetti is getting cold and our chardonnay is getting flat.” He says intertwining your fingers and spinning you around to walk into the living room. “And you look entirely too good to keep this on all night.” He says referring to your outfit. “I can’t believe you were going to call Happy.”

“Well how about next time, you don’t play with me.” You laugh ready to enjoy your dinner.

“Oh, but honey, playing with you is my favorite thing to do. I especially love it when you scream my name.” He smirks giving you a wink.

Comments, Questions, Opinions :)

See more of what I have written so far: Masterlist

#tony stark x reader #tony stark drabble #tony stark fluff #tony stark #tony stark x black!reader #tony stark x black reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark imagie #tony stark smut #reader x tony #avengers x reader #black reader x avenger #tony stark x you #i love you 3000 #tony stank #mcu fanfiction #marvel #mcu bwww #tony stark imagines

702 notes · View notes