#in other news i went to a paramore concert last night

[astralredart]

may i offer you some kyle in these trying times

[theadventuresofawilddingus]

03/01/2024

So I told myself that I'd continuously write on this so I have something to look back on in the future, reading all about my adventures and what not but if I'm honest I haven't even written on this since November due to being so damn busy. So here's a recap of the last 2 months.

So, we went to Melbourne for about 12 hours on legit 4 hours sleep and fuck, it was very eventful. Seeing Paramore definitely excused the fact I was dying from exhaustion... oh and of course the starbucks and seeing my favourite pal Mickayla since I hadn't seen her in a few months after she started her new life journey in Victoria. Have to say my bed had never looked better after all that travelling that's for sure. I decided to spoil myself for Christmas this year since I'm single as all shit and don't got no women to buy presents for. I joked for weeks beforehand that I was going to go buy a telecaster and no one could stop me, literally it started off as a joke until I walked into a music store and walked out with a brand spanking new tele. Did I regret the purchase even though it killed my bank account? Hell no. The next day I said goodbye to two tattoos that were holding me back and as much as the pain was some bullshit especially on my wrist bone, I don't regret a thing and I am honestly in love with this new piece. Christmas itself came quicker than expected, and as much as it was a drunk filled emotional one , I was so glad I decided to go away instead of spending it in Adelaide. Safe to say , I didn't really want to come home. Lately all I have wanted to do is travel but of course not having my licence has meant travelling has been a little limited which of course means I'm going for my licence in a few weeks, how scary. New years eve was an eventful one, looking like I'm about to jump on my horse and ride into the distance while listening to country diddys. The night was filled with karaoke, drinking... lots of drinking and more drinking. The next day was definitely eventful, not. And last but not least, today. Today was a day of letting go of a lot of things, clothes wise but things that had some sentiment to them. So if you know me well, you know tight jeans were an absolute staple in my life. Note that I also haven't worn tight jeans since about a couple of weeks after my ex and I broke up. Well, they are no longer as well what I classed as my favourite hoodie and a few other items. I actually got rid of the majority of my clothes I wore back then mainly because I just wanted to forget that version of myself since he gives me the ick nowadays. (Fucking douchebag 🤮) . It was bitter-sweet, I won't lie but damn it felt good.

2024 is a year of doing things for myself and of course, actually living instead of being in survival mode. Travelling is definitely in the books as well as many more concerts, music festivals etc. So stay tuned because this year, well this year is going to be the true year of The Adventures Of A Wild Dingus.

[notebookmusical]

You don't have to worry about replying especially cuz I knew you were having fun at the show!!! That's so great and makes me more excited for Friday! I am trying to watch less videos this week leading up to the show..even if I'm pretty familiar with everything lol. If I am going to see Barbie, it would be tomorrow but I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know my thoughts if I watch it! And also if I eventually see Les Mis or Paramore. I would recommend all of Paramore's music honestly but if you want specific song recs let me know!

Haha I also talk a lot more online to people mostly thru Tumblr asks since they're anonymous lol. It's so hard for me sometimes to find other people with the same interests as me otherwise and around the same age. I just wanna say it's been really nice talking to you this week and I'm letting you know I'm 27 lol. I didn't know if you thought I was a lot younger cuz I said I still read YA.

Anyway I'm so happy for you that you manifested a debut song and Rep for your friend! Also that Marjorie memory is so sweet. It's like when Taylor says you will have lasting memories of this tour every night and that seems like a special one. Have you been to a Taylor concert before? I've only been to rep even if I've been a fan since debut and I wonder how it compares to Eras. I'm sure it will be better in a way just cuz there's more going on but I really enjoyed Rep tour too! I guess the only things I'm curious about or worried about is how was standing for the show and how many videos you took? My sister and I were talking about this yesterday and I was like maybe a little bit of each era but that seems like a lot maybe..idk. Also what was your favorite part of the show?

I'll try not to hope for too many things at my shows. I'm super excited to see No Body no Crime with Haim though and I haven't watched a video or anything yet. One costume I really love is the pink gown for Speak Now..seeing that in person would be amazing! But I think she usually wears it for night two. I also like the green surprise song dress and pink or green Folklore or 1989. Those are my favorite colors. For surprise songs..like I said, I wouldn't mind two songs I just liked generally even if they weren't favorites or anything. That was kinda the case for your shows to me but I'm glad you loved them! I also might not care as much once I'm there and enjoying it. For debut, one of my fav songs is Mary's song but idk if she would play it. I wouldn't mind Stay Beautiful or something from Fearless. I'd like any vault song she didn't perform yet fine but would hope for I Can See You or Forever Winter. Anything from Rep, Lover, Folklore or Midnights. I'm kinda surprised she didn't sing a Folklore song last night cuz of the album anniversary. There are a few on Evermore I wouldn't care for..lol but would love Long Story Short!

wait!! i really want to have our conversations under a specific tag 🤍 do you want to pick an emoji? 🥺 i'm really glad you decided to message me!! i always love talking to people and making new friends 🤍 and also wanted to add there's no shame in reading YA in your 20s! books are for everyone 🤍

i was originally going to try to take my mom to barbie sometime this week, but i think i might have a bit too much to do this week before i go to chicago so i might have to do it when i'm back. i definitely want to see it again soon though! i am notoriously bad at watching movies, but i do really want to watch a bunch this year. i'd originally set up a "23 in 2023" yearly collections journal, and so part of that was that i wanted to watch 23 movies ... but i stopped keeping track and now i'm just a 🤡.

i went to the red tour in seattle way back when but have also been a fan since debut!! i was hoping to do rep tour, but then something came up and it just didn't work out, so i'm really, really glad things worked out the way it did with eras. for night 1, i was in the nosebleeds and you could feel the ground shaking. i was mostly standing aside from i think part of folklore and transitions? i think i sat down at another point. last night, i was standing for everything except all too well 10 minute version (if i didn't use atw10 for my bathroom break/water bottle refill break on saturday, i probably would've sat down during it too — just to give myself a break), i think i sat down for my tears ricochet, and then transitions. i wore tennis shoes, and my feet hurt so much by the end of the night (to be fair, i messed up my ankle last week and so part of my feet hurting was from that + queueing for gracie + standing for her acoustic set too). i would say to focus more on taking care of your body — if you're tired, sit! there's no shame in that 🤍 when i got back to my friend's apartment after eras (i was staying at her place all weekend since she lives within walking distance to lumen), i immediately changed into pjs/showered/etc + stretched + put on icy hot + ate + took advil before bed and it honestly wasn't terrible after night one but getting out of bed today was awful (i also didn't sleep much at her place, to be fair + did a lot more dancing / walking / standing yesterday). i took a couple videos, but not for the entire song; most of it was just little clips here and there, like i knew i wanted to get the fireworks or like i knew she'd do a specific face/dance move/something at a specific moment, and then i got the speeches just for fun! you and your sister could also decide who films what and do a little trade off (i assume y'all are sitting together)!! a lot of people around me were filming a lot of the concert and also were dancing around a lot; don't worry about being judged (and if people judge you, screw them!). i will say, keep in mind that merch lines will be nuts (once you get in, go to a merch line inside — like one closer to your seats, if you're able to/if you want merch) and vegetarian options go quickly in terms of food, if you're vegetarian! on night one, my friends and i went straight for merch and one of my friends did a food run and grabbed us food so we were able to eat while we waited. night two, we got in, did the cap one elevator thing (which was so fun!) and then we went straight for food. i was trying to meet up with a friend during the gracie/HAIM break and my friend i was sitting next to asked if i could get her food since i was out and she's vegetarian — i had to go to five different spots before i finally found something! oh, and be prepared that leaving is going to be ... awful. weave if you're able to, hold onto each other, etc! it does not help that lumen field is close to downtown, but it really was ... brutal trying to get out of there.

is there a particular section/song you're looking forward to the most?

personally, my favorite part of the show was long live, but the energy around reputation and also no body no crime both nights was out of this world. listening to long live and dancing around with your best friends is something that is just so special, and for me, i was that ~ weird swiftie girl ~ growing up and so being able to experience tour with people who loved taylor — and also loved me — was just so ... special. reputation is the album i listen to the least (i have to be in a very specific mood for it, but i do love it) but was one of the best sections i think! this isn't anything new that people haven't already said, but i think the eras tour is structured so well — every time my energy level started to dip a bit something was happening next that brought it back up.

so i was fully expecting TTDS on night 1, and since i was up in the nosebleeds that night, i saw parts of her dress before i recognized HAIM was coming up with her and i SCREAMED "not stinky dress" and lowkey fucked up my voice because i was so excited that the bronze dress was back. and then i heard the sirens and it was ... amazing. no body no crime is usually one of my skip songs (not because i don't like it, but because the sirens stress me out and i usually listen to evermore in the car, hence ... stress) but their performance was electric and just so, so fun.

we got the pink gown last night, and it was so pretty!! my friends and i played swiftball on saturday night (since we were all getting ready together saturday; yesterday some of us went to gracie's acoustic set, etc.) and i was manifesting so hard for purple speak now cupcake dress but honestly the speak now dresses are SO pretty. the one dress we were all really manifesting for was the green folklore dress (and i also really wanted the white folklore dress, which i got night one), so i feel very very lucky! my friends and i were split up last night (two of us were in section 109 row d, the other four were in 117) and saturday (three of us were in 309 row g, one of us was in 309 row j, one of us was in 320 row ee) and so we were texting in between transition periods —

the thing about surprise songs is there's genuinely not a single bad song! every single night i'm like "damn, i wish i was there" even if it's a song i don't totally love. i cannot wait for her to play me! — i was telling everyone how much i would've loved to hear me! on guitar or on piano. i would love her to sing beautiful ghosts, crazier, etc. i went on tiktok earlier and saw people being upset about TTWAS and it made me soooo sad because i genuinely love love love it. when we got this is why we can't have nice things on night one i was like omg a rep song for my bestie!!! it was just so fun, even though i don't usually listen to it. but also, it is like, two songs out of forty five — i was telling my friends she could do the SNL monologue and i would've had fun just being in the moment 🤍

i would LOVE for her to play mary's song at some point — i know it's like, a running joke on here that she soundchecked it. i was really, really hoping for castles crumbling, foolish one or forever winter in terms of vault songs, but i cannot complain at all about my surprise songs. literally everyone around me was so shocked she didn't sing a single speak now song for surprise songs, and also didn't do anything for folklore's anniversary! ugh long story short would be SO fun to listen to — are you hoping for piano or guitar? i'm also curious about which evermore songs you don't particularly care for!!

[ayatakami]

Singer!Reader HCs

feat. Alt MHA bois  Part 2 Here

Pairings: Bakugo x Reader, Sero x Reader, Hawks x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Shoji x Reader, Tokoyami x Reader, Kirshima x Reader Notes: The songs I put at the bottom just imagine them with a fem! singer bc its the overall vibe I went for. There is a part two bc it got pretty long whoops

⇩                                 ⇩                                       ⇩                                             ⇩

Doesn’t openly talk about loving your music or you per se, but owns so much merch of you and your band. I’m talking posters, postcards, albums, shirts, etc. 

Listens to your voice R E LI G I OU SL Y

If he thinks he’s alone then he’ll try to duet some of your songs, convincing himself that you two would make such a great singing duo

UPLOADS DRUM COVERS OF YOUR SONGS AND FREAKS OUT WHEN YOU LIKE/RESPOND TO THEM!!!11

ALWAYS goes to your signings if he has time and when you signed his drumsticks with a heart mans is deceased

Always opts for more of your heavier/faster songs bc this man just needs the fuel to his anger. But on days when he’s really down or feels lonely he listens to your more softer and melodic songs, soaking in your vocals.

Rewatches your music videos and likes every single picture you post. 

Favorite song of yours: Calm Snow - I See Stars

Tells EVERYONE about you and your band, plays your songs on blast and recommends them to everyone. 

Doesn’t really own much posters of you/your band but he does have lots of apparel. (Shirts, beanies, keychains, etc)

LOVES attending your concerts, always gets front row seats to see your pretty smile. 

This dude man, he has pictures of you two on his page from every concert/meet and greet/ signings/etc that he’s ever attended. Like so many you know his name now. 

He’s more drawn to your easy-going, light vocals type songs 

But isn’t afraid to listen to your heavier stuff

Mans STREAMS your music videos and loves making edits of solely you

Favorite song of yours: Silence Speaks - While She Sleeps

SIMPING FOR YOU!!!! HE EVEN HAS A BODY PILLOW OF YOU IM--

Several posters, photos, stickers, albums, you name it he has it

Brings you lots of gifts to each backstage concert bc yk he buys that VIP shit

He will absolutely DIE if he sees pictures of you wearing an expensive necklace he gifted you or any sort of jewelry

Hangs out and talks to you so much that you guys actually become good friends!!

I feel like he would lowkey make fanfics about the two fo you. You cant tell me he wont

Has an ALT ACC WITH THIRSTY EDITS OF YOU!! Calls you his baby bird/dove/songbird/etc

I also feel like Hawks plays guitar or bass and he would def make covers or even collab with you bc yall besties now

Mans has a tiktok account and will def post videos of yall singing together 

Although he’s a really chill guy I feel like he leans more towards your slower songs that hit harder than the others

Favorite song of yours: The Fear Of Letting Go - Too Close To Touch

Being a villian and all, you know he cant come to your concerts/events but he damn well tries to. 

Doesn’t own much merch of yours as he accidentally burnt a poster he had of yours after a certain incident (he felt really bad bc he got mad)

I feel like he would def have a funko-pop or figurine of you on his desk

Loves jamming to your songs (blasting it so loud in his room that its literally shaking in there LMAO)

Watches ALL of your music videos, streams and BUYS YOUR MUSIC TO SUPPORT YOU HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

Sings along with you omg even tho it hurts to reach your high notes

Thrives off of your more aggressive songs especially the one where he can feel the pain in your voice over whatever subject or whoever you were singing about

Definitely wishes he was that ex you sung about LMAO

Why can I see him punching drywall to your songs bc hes so into it LMAOOOO

Favorite song of yours: Crooked Smile - Too Close To Touch

One of the bois who don’t talk about their love for you super much, but instead is a closeted fan!

Watches your music videos on REPEAT, knows the lyrics to all of your songs

Whenever you smile at the screen or do something cute, he is STRUCK with love

Binge-watches all of your interviews/funny moments/etc, just loves getting to know you and seeing all the sides of you that isn’t the perfect singer that everyone sees

He does attend your concerts/events but he stays in the back for he doesn’t want to scare anyone or you with how he looks like

Why can I see him running an appreciation blog like-

Posting about your cute smile or laugh and he’s internally panicking bc you mentioned his blog in your latest interview saying that seeing all the kind things he posted about you made your day whenever you were down

Prefers the slower, melodic songs or where you’re just messing around

Favorite song of yours: All I wanted - Paramore

Have you SEEN THIS MANS ROOM

Like there is no doubt in my mind that he has posters covering every inch of his wall. Limited edition posters, signed posters, you name it he has it

Doesn’t really talk about you but if he knows his friends also listen to you, then he will def rant about you

“Hey Tokoyami have you heard _’s new song yet-” Man has bags under his eyes bc he streamed that song so many times last night listening to it on repeat. When the music video dropped he shared that shit on all of his social medias.

Def does covers of your songs, it fills him with joy when you repost his covers on your account with a nice message ‘You’re so talented omg!! <3 <3′ 

Also to me he would be the type of guy who posts lyrics in the comments if there isn’t any and would def go into detail about the lyrics meaning and such

Has a jacket full of patches of your band logo and album covers

He’s met you on a few occasions and he’s more than happy to stop and chat with you. Although he doesn’t go into full fan mode with you around, he respects you and instead asks about your day and such

Has no preference on your style, just that its you singing

Favorite song of his: Dance Macabre - Ghost

[girlsbtrs]

How Being a Woman in Hardcore Helped Me Learn to Love Myself

Written by Jen Moglia. Graphic by Laura Cross. 

Since this is my first piece written for Girls Behind the Rock Show, I figured that I should introduce myself; hi, my name is Jennifer, but most people call me Jen. I live on Long Island in New York, and my favorite things include my cats, the color pink, giving gifts to my Animal Crossing villagers, and watching sports. Above all else, however, I love music.

I frequently refer to music as the love of my life. It somehow plays a role in everything that I do. I got my first iPod when I was five years old, stacked with everything from Miranda Cosgrove and Avril Lavigne to Tool and Deftones. Some of my favorite memories growing up are sitting in my pink and purple bedroom singing and dancing along to Paramore’s crushcrushcrush and Fall Out Boy’s Thnks Fr Th Mmrs on the local alternative radio station. I danced for 12 years, played cello for seven, and am currently a wannabe ukulele rockstar after buying one on impulse and starting to teach myself how to play four years ago. Even on the simplest, barely noticeable levels, music has been everywhere in my life for as long as I can remember; even now, I can’t complete a basic task without a song playing in my headphones.

Music became an even bigger part of my life when I started attending live shows. I went to my first concerts at age 10, seeing my two favorite artists - Nickelodeon boy band Big Time Rush and classic progressive rock band Rush - within one month of each other. By the time I was 15, I had been to my fair share of arena/seated shows with one or both of my parents, from Fifth Harmony to Fitz and the Tantrums to Alice in Chains. My first general admission show was seeing the Foo Fighters at Citi Field with both my mom and dad when I was 12, but my first pop-punk general admission show (yes, they’re different) came a few years later. I had the typical list of favorite bands that you would expect from a young teenager getting into alternative music: Neck Deep, Knuckle Puck, Real Friends, and State Champs. 

In late 2018, I was able to see all four of these bands for the first time, and I am a firm believer that it changed the course of my life. I met, cried-during, and eventually got the setlist for Neck Deep at Stereo Garden on Long Island in September. I sang all of “Untitled” at the barricade for Knuckle Puck at SI Hall at the Fairgrounds in Syracuse in October. I had my first minor concussion scare (yay!) before Real Friends’ set at Irving Plaza in New York City in November. Finally, I crowd surfed for the first time during State Champs’ anniversary show for The Finer Things at House of Independents in Asbury Park in December. After just a few shows, I had fallen in love with this new brand of live music that I had just been introduced too. There was something so magical to me about skin covered in sweat and Sharpie marks, feet hurting from dancing in the pit all night, and meeting strangers on line outside the venue who would become your best friends and know your deepest secrets by the end of the night.

After making some friends at all of the pop-punk shows I was going to, they started to tell me that I should get into hardcore music. I was hesitant at first - the heaviest thing I had listened to at that point was nowhere near the snippets of hardcore that my friends had played for me - but, eventually, I decided to give it a chance. I was bored and home alone with nothing to do one night over the summer of 2019 when I listened to my first hardcore album, Laugh Tracks by Knocked Loose. Immediately, I got that gut feeling that you have when you know you’ve heard one of your favorite bands for the first time. I knew that this was something special that I was meant to find at this point in my life. For the rest of the summer, I worked my way through the rest of my friends’ hardcore and hardcore-adjacent recommendations, with Cost of Living by Incendiary, Stage Four by Touche Amore, You’re Not You Anymore by Counterparts, Time & Space by Turnstile, Springtime and Blind by Fiddlehead, Smile! Aren’t You Happy by Absence of Mine, Bad to my World by Backtrack, and Reality Approaches by Harms Way being some of my favorites. By the time the next school year started, I was hooked, and I already had tickets to my first few hardcore shows in the fall.

My first hardcore show was in November 2019, seeing Knocked Loose at Webster Hall in New York City - fitting, right? They were on tour supporting their new record A Different Shade of Blue, which I had become obsessed with the minute I heard it for the first time. Although I was ridiculously scared of getting stepped on and breaking all my bones (yes, that was an actual fear of mine), I had the time of my life at that show. There was something about this newer kind of live music that prompted a cathartic release, one that I hadn’t found anywhere else before. As soon as the show was over, I was counting the days until my next one.

My love for live hardcore music (and live music and hardcore music in general) has only grown since then, and that story sort of ends there. However, I want to go back to that first hardcore band that I listened to, Knocked Loose, and the album they put out that first summer that stole my heart. I was taken by storm as soon as the first notes of A Different Shade of Blue rang through my headphones, but something was different about the third track, A Serpent’s Touch, particularly the ending; I heard a voice that sounded a little bit more like my own.

This song features Emma Boster, who does vocals for one of my favorite hardcore bands right now, Dying Wish. When I heard A Serpent’s Touch for the first time, though, I had no idea who she was. I was used to the aggressive vocal delivery of frontmen in hardcore, particularly that of Knocked Loose’s Bryan Garris, but hearing it come from her changed my perspective on a lot of things. It’s not like the song was super angry and changed its tune to be lighter once the token girl came along; in her verse, Boster sings, “I watched the venom / Overcome your spirit / Jealousy holds you now / Distorting your appearance / Bleed out.” These were lyrics that held the same intensity that the lines screamed by the men held, and they sounded just as cool coming out of her mouth. As cheesy as it sounds, it had never even occurred to me that women had a place in this new world that I had discovered. The audiences in the live videos I watched (and eventually at the shows I attended) were made up of mostly men who looked bigger and older than me. When I did start going to shows, most of the non-man population consisted of my friends and I. Emma Boster, along with so many others, began to open my eyes to the fact that a place for people like me existed in this community. It didn’t matter that I had bright red hair or liked butterflies or wore pink - I was just as much a part of this magic as the men multiple feet taller than me with tattoo-covered arms, and I belonged there just as much as they did.

As time went on and I got more involved in the genre’s music and community, I discovered more bands with women in them, and it only fueled this fire of empowerment inside of me. When I felt insecure, I’d watch live sets from Krimewatch, a hardcore band from New York City, just half an hour away from my hometown. They have multiple women as members, including their energetic badass of a vocalist, Rhylli Ogiura. Year of the Knife became one of my all-time favorites, and their bassist Madison Watkins became a serious inspiration to me; the way that she can balance killing it on stage and running the cutest, most pink apparel brand I’ve ever seen (aptly titled Candy Corpse) amazes me. Even some of the bands I’ve found more recently have had an impact on me. I started listening to Initiate last year when their EP Lavender came out, and their beautifully colorful cover art caught my eye before I had heard any of their songs. Their vocalist, Crystal Pak, is also a woman, and she’s insanely talented. Discovering this kind of representation in this new universe that I had come to feel so at home in introduced me to a world of confidence and determination that I had never known before.

When people ask me why I love hardcore so much, I often give the easy answer; “the music sounds good.” If the person allows me to ramble on for a little longer, the answer becomes much more emotional and cheesy. Hardcore taught me that speaking up for what I believe in is important, and if there’s something I’m passionate about, it’s worth shouting about. I became familiar with this when listening to one of my favorite bands ever, Incendiary (the second hardcore band I ever checked out), before quickly realizing that politics are a pretty common topic within the genre - it’s what this music was practically built on. The first time I heard their vocalist Brendan Garrone singing about police brutality and injustice on songs like Force of Neglect and Sell Your Cause, I realized that there is so much more to music than just sounding good.

However, at its core, the thing I love so much about hardcore is what it taught me about being a woman. Growing up, I was the loud girl with the personality bigger than the room who always had something to say and had a never ending supply of excitement about just about everything. As I got older, I was taught that this was not okay. People didn’t like how enthusiastic I was about everything, or that I constantly had new ideas and new discoveries I wanted to talk about. As cliche as it sounds, I felt like everyone around me was trying to dull my sparkle, especially some of the men that I was encountering on a day-to-day basis. Even when I started to come to terms with my big and bright personality, in turn also coming to terms with my own femininity, I was told that this wasn’t how girls acted. I had to pick one - I could watch Disney princess movies and wear Hello Kitty hair clips, or I could be outspoken about my beliefs; but never both. The women that I mentioned earlier, along with so, so many more, helped me unlearn these toxic mindsets. Seeing someone like Emma Boster take the stage and scream ferociously for a full set helped me see that I could be a girl and still be a powerhouse. Following Madi Watkins around on social media showed me that I could love bands like Year of the Knife and also love heart-shaped purses and wear pink from head to toe. My aggression and passion didn’t make me any less of a woman, and my femininity didn’t make me any less of a force to be reckoned with. 

So, at the end of this love letter to hardcore and the women who run it, I say this; thank you for teaching me that I don’t have to shrink myself anymore. It has made a world of a difference.

[taylizmasterpost]

Julianne Hough Is (maybe) a Thing (October 2009 - January 2010)

So Taylor and Julianne had interacted before this point. Taylor and Kellie and Julianne had hosted something together earlier, and Julianne was on Dance Wars back when Liz was, but Julianne’s presence in Taylor’s life ramps up a TON for this very brief period of time. Julianne was 21 and Taylor was 18 (slightly larger age gap than TayLiz).

The important thing about JH’s presence in Taylor’s life for this period of time, however, is that Julianne is out as “not straight,” and is the only woman possibly romantically connected to Taylor to have come out like this -- unless you could Dianna with #Shirtgate and/or think Cara Delevingne and Taylor have hooked up at some point. So, let’s keep this in mind moving forward. However, JH is also incredibly racist and even did blackface at one point, so we do not stan and are not shipping this.

24 October 2009 - Taylor and JH paint each other for Katy Perry’s birthday party. Taylor maybe gives JH a blue boob grab and JH paints her initials onto Taylor’s dress. This is the evidence most people point to as to something happening with them during the “Lost Years.” Is it a smoking gun? No, but it’s definitely interesting.

I’m divided into two camps of belief on Taylor’s relationship with JH: either they were hooking up, or JH was just a big gay mentor/friend figure for Taylor. I’ve put the evidence of their interactions below, so you can try to figure it out with me:

25 October 2009 - JH and Taylor tweet at each other a bunch about the party. 

Taylor Squared also attend a hockey game together.

27 October 2009 - Taylor and Selena have dinner. JH crashes. She tweets at Taylor then invites her to the “MJ premiere.” Taylor tweets about being chased by the paps, presumably because she was hanging out publicly with Selena and JH.

That night, Liz and Taylor perform together on Dancing With the Stars:

28 October 2009 - Taylor Squared go shopping and have a dinner date. They also take these obviously staged car photos.

(The lens has to have been on the hood of the car or something. There’s no way they didn’t notice the camera).

29 October 2009 - Taylor films the Roomies Sketch for SNL. If you haven’t go seen it yet, go WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. It is the start of all of the Gaylor Swift rumors (which we’ll get to later). 

Considering how Taylor reacted when Liz got sick, and the fact that a lot of SNL sketches are based on jokes about the guest’s life/work, etc., I’m thinking this sketch was possibly about tour roommates TayLiz. But if that doesn’t sell you on it, maybe this gif comparison will:

1 November 2009 -  Taylor and Liz go to Paramore concert in Nashville. They dance together to the songs “Misery Business” and “That’s What You Get.” Very girlfriend-y.

7 November 2009 - Taylor hosts Saturday Night Live and the Roomies Sketch airs. 

Immediately after the Roomies Sketch airs, people flood After Ellen (a lesbian forum site -- think the L Chat but earlier) with gossip about Taylor being gay. Unfortunately, the original screenshot does not exist, but here’s someone on the L Chat talking about what happened that night:

Now while, once again, I hope all that stuff with Emily didn’t actually happen, for Taylor’s sake, it is really intriguing that the possibly-TayLiz-based Roomies sketch is the start of all of Taylor’s gay rumors.

11 November 2009 - CMT Awards. Taylor performs and wins an award. JH congratulates her on it with a tweet.

The secret message for Story of Us is “CMT Awards.” At the CMT awards in 2009, Taylor was separated from the band, so if TayLiz was having a hard time, (possibly due to JH jealousy, maybe because they hadn’t seen each other that much since tour ended) this would fit the line “standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking.” Liz had retweeted Taylor about SNL earlier this week, though, so they may have been on good terms and this is not the CMT Awards that the linter note refers to. Or the liner notes are all lies. Who knows?

“Now I’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking”????

12 November 2009 - JH and Taylor have a movie night together.

16 November 2009 - Taylor leaves for the Fearless tour in London. JH tweets at her to “have fun.”

18 November 2009 - TayLiz are papped in London returning to their hotel at midnight. (The London paps LOVE Taylor around this period of time, so a lot of the best TayLiz photos come from when they’re in London).

20 November 2009 - Liz tweets that she loves London. Taylor and Co are specifically in London for the Fearless tour, and TayLiz seem to be most “on” when they’re touring together. Perhaps that’s why she’s so excited to be in London...

21 November 2009 - Taylor and Liz go shopping and get lunch with Caitlin and Andrea at Portobello Market.

23-24 November 2009 - Fearless in London. The tour goes on break for the holidays after this.

December 2009 - Taylor and Taylor “break up”. 

9 December 2009 Taylor goes on an ice cream date with Emma Stone in New York after connecting over email (note that this is the same story she tells about who she wrote Enchanted about -- connecting over e-mail and then meeting in person in NYC). So as much as I’d like to give Enchanted to Liz, it fits better with Emma.

What this implies to me is that whatever was going on with JH wasn’t that serious, if Enchanted is indeed about Emma and Taylor went and got ice cream because she was trying to pursue something with her. Or nothing was going on at all and JH was just some big gay mentor. Or even just a friend.

10 December 2009 - Taylor tweets about liking the song I Know About You by Dashboard Confessional that has a bunch of lyrical parallels to cardigan. Here’s a few choice ones:

It’s a shame, I know 

But it all shakes out real slow 

When the forays of your weekend 

Hang like smoke on your clothes 

11 December 2009 - TayLiz and Caitlin go shopping together in NYC

13 December 2009 - Taylor’s 20th Birthday. Her backup dancer, Brandon, comes out at her party (something that’s interesting because he notes that it was while touring with her that he’d found a queer community):

The first time Stansell came out publicly was at Taylor Swift’s birthday party 10 years ago. “I was dancing on Taylor Swift’s Fearless tour,” says Stansell, 33. He was also juggling his studies as a senior at the conservative Belmont College in Nashville. He wasn’t out there, and he wasn’t out to his conservative parents. But he had found a support system for the first time. “I had queer friends in my life,” he says. “And I had a boyfriend.”

To me, this suggests that there were multiple queer people on tour at the time, and Taylor and Liz may have been two of them. However, it’s also possible that he had just found a queer community within Nashville, but the fact that the quote goes straight from “I was touring with Taylor” to “I had queer friends” implies to me some sort of connection between the two.

Liz tweets Happy Birthday at Taylor:

24 December 2009 - Taylor and JH are caught by a fan shopping together at Walmart:

31 December 2009 -  Taylor spends NYE going to the spa with Julianne, going to dinner with Hayley Williams and then goes to her brother’s NYE party.

2 January 2010 - Liz tweets the lyrics to John Mayer’s Heartbreak Warfare

Maybe Liz just likes the song. But I think it’s interesting considering Taylor seems to be out and about with another woman after a whole summer of them being Roomies. I also think it’s intriguing that one of Liz’s favorite nicknames for Taylor is “Tay,” which just happens to be the secret message of Back to December... Did something go wrong between TayLiz at the end of December? Or is the song really for Taylor Lautner, despite the obvious stuntiness of that relationship?

6 January 2010 - Liz congratulates Taylor on something and says she “missed our family,” implying they haven’t seen each other since touring in London together.

9 January 2010 - TayLiz attend a housewarming party together.

19 January 2010 - TayLiz and Caitlin hang out.

23 January 2010 - TayLiz and Caitlin get on a plane to get back on tour.

25 January 2010 - Taylor films something with The Agency and there are a lot of laughs.

27 January 2010 - Taylor and JH attend the same cancer charity event together,

This is the last time we see Taylor and JH together for a long while, and judging by the way Taylor seems to be deliberately avoiding touching JH’s bare back in that last hug, if they had anything, it’s over by this point. Taylor is single and ready to mingle mope about it for a few months.

CONCLUSION: So, did Taylor and JH happen? Maybe. Maybe not. On one hand, I want to believe it did, since, as stated previously, JH is the only out queer woman that Taylor has rumors with. 

The SNL Roomies sketch certainly reads to me as being about TayLiz being roomies on tour, and so the fact that all of Taylor’s gay rumors started here certainly makes a case for TayLiz having been doing something during the first half of the Fearless tour. However, they seem to have drifted apart a bit during the winter. Could this be due to JH? Or something else entirely? Could JH have just been a gay mentor? Who knows for sure. However, something must’ve caused TayLiz to cool down because what’s next is:

Single Taylor and The Gay Australia Trip (February 2010)

[popentertainmentconcertreviews]

Firefly Music Festival – The Woodlands- Dover, DE – September 23 to 26, 2021 (A PopEntertainment.com Concert Review)

Although this was the first Firefly Festival back after a year and a half off due to the COVID-19 pandemic – or perhaps because of it – fans were more eager than ever before to run through the gates to the four-day-long festival.

This was the second year of Firefly being under the ownership of AEG Presents, and the hard work the company put into creating the best possible experience for fans and artists definitely was clear. Taking place in The Woodlands of Dover, Delaware, right next to Dover International Speedway, this year’s lineup included Billie Eilish, The Killers, Tame Impala, Lizzo, Phoebe Bridgers, Cage The Elephant, Megan Thee Stallion, and many more fan-favorites. The diversity of genres of artists performing is what makes Firefly such a special experience. 

What makes Firefly unique isn’t just the performances, but the atmosphere and the overall experience. Since its start in July 2012, festivalgoers are offered the chance to camp at the festival, whether that be in an RV, a glamping site, or just a pop-up tent and sleeping bag. The ability to camp on festival grounds gives festival-goers easy access to the music, activities, shopping, and food that Firefly has to offer.

The festival has several options of different price ranges for camping at the festival. These includi South Tent Camping (within walking distance from the festival) and North Tent Camping (within walking distance from the festival and includes a private entrance to the event, as well as exclusive hang-out spots). There is also Meadows Glamping (includes twin or queen-sized beds, air conditioning, and concierge service), Infield Glamping (includes pre-set tents in the race track, complete with a private lounge, air-conditioned restrooms, shower passes, power courses, and shuttles to the festival), Then there is infield RV Camping (includes a plot big inside the race track, spacious enough for an RV and plenty of space to spare), and many more options from affordable to a well-deserved splurge! 

Even if festivalgoers are unable to camp at the festival, they are still able to have the full Firefly experience with the various activities inside of the festival.  This year, the experience includes The Treehouse, The Thicket Silence Disco, The Nest, The North Hub Beach Club, The Roller Rink, The Hammock Hangout, Firefly’s first-ever Pride Parade, and much more!

The Treehouse is perfect for festivalgoers who want to unwind and listen to acoustic performances, as well as interviews with budding artists. If you are looking for a dance break with friends complete with your own personal set of headphones to hear some tunes, The Thicket Silent Disco is right up your alley. If you want to continue the party with DJs nestled among the trees, even after headliners are finished performing, you should definitely check out The Nest.

The North Hub Beach Club, running all weekend long, is the perfect spot to relax, cool down with drinks from the Tiki Bar, play volleyball, and return later in the night for an electric silent disco. Need a break from the performances and want to let loose and have fun with friends? We would totally recommend checking out the new Roller Rink in the North Hub! Our favorite spot to literally hang out is back-- The Hammock Hangout! This year, we were so excited to attend the festival’s first Pride Parade, led by Monique Heart and LaLaRi! 

Firefly has always had the most fire food options, and this year was the best yet. The food option lineup included everything from “BBQ Bueno”, “Island Noodles”, and “Two Guys Chicken & Fries” to “Nomad Coffee”, “Carvel Ice Cream”, and even “Rita’s Water Ice”! The eating options at the festival have definitely been more inclusive and aware of food sensitivities and allergies, veganism, vegetarianism, and the basic picky eater. You can’t have a great festival without great food, and Firefly nailed it. 

Another aspect of this year’s festival that we love is that nearly almost every performance was live-streamed powered by Mandolin, so people unable to attend could watch from the comfort of their own home or campsite. Virtual meet and greet experiences were also offered this year to assure the safety of fans and artists, alike, which definitely makes the experience just as special for those who could not physically be at this year’s Firefly Festival. “Live From Firefly” also offered fans the option to be notified when their favorite performers would be on, so they wouldn’t miss a second of the action. 

Thursday night’s headliners included Billie Eilish, Phoebe Bridgers, Girl in Red, Marc Rebillet, and more. Even though there was a bit of a rain delay, festivalgoers kept their electric energy when the gates finally opened that night. While some walked onto the festival grounds admiring the sparkling LED lights all around, others ran to secure a spot at the stage at which their favorite performances would be held.

Phoebe Bridgers lit up the stage, stepping out in her iconic rhinestone-covered skeleton top. She played hits such as “Motion Sickness” and “Kyoto” as well as a cover of comedian Bo Burnham’s “That Funny Feeling.”

Up next was the iconic Billie Eilish. We spoke to several fans before the show and they said they ran straight to the Firefly stage the second the gates opened to see Billie, nearly 4 hours before she would come out. Once the stage lights went out, the audience went wild in anticipation of Billie’s long-awaited performance. She played new songs like “Happier Than Ever” and “Oxytocin”, then some older hits for her die-hard fans including “Ocean Eyes”, “bellyache”, and “ilomilo.”

Friday’s performances were definitely ones for the books. Headliners included Cage the Elephant, The Killers, Wiz Khalifa, Band of Horses, and Ian Dior. Multiple time performers, Cage the Elephant, took the stage by storm with hit songs “Come a Little Closer”, “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”, and obviously “Cigarette Daydreams”. By the way that the fans sang their hearts out, we could tell this this performance was much needed. Up next on the Backyard stage, Wiz Khalifa fans who waited all day, finally got to catch his performance. Wiz got the crowd dancing with “Black and Yellow”, “Roll Up”, and “We Dem Boyz.”

 Saturday’s thrilling performances included those by Tame Impala, Roddy Rich, Diplo, Glass Animals, and many more. Tame Impala’s “The Less I Know the Better” and “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” took fans on a spiritual ride, complete with astonishing visuals on the screens, and a captivating light show. Though it was late in the night, Diplo got festivalgoers on their feet with his performance featuring rhythmic remixes of various hit songs. Fans were adorned with glowsticks throughout the audience, adding to the festival’s ambiance. 

Though it was the last day, headliners Lizzo, Megan Thee Stallion, and Machine Gun Kelly finished off Firefly Festival 2021 with a bang. Lizzo fans were ecstatic to hear top hits “Juice” and “Rumors”, accompanied by a breathtaking performance, Megan Thee Stallion fans were not close to disappointed after hearing and shaking it along to “Savage” and “Body”, and Machine Gun Kelly fans rocked out to “I Think I’m OKAY”, “ex’s best friend”, and even a cover of Paramore’s “Misery Business”. It is safe to say that this year had one of the best lineups yet. 

This year’s festival most definitely made up for lost time during the pandemic. Though this is only AEG Presents’ second year of ownership over Firefly, they did an outstanding job of organizing an insane lineup, fun activities, and creating a weekend that people will never forget.

While we are all sad to see this year’s Firefly Festival come to an end, we cannot wait to see what is in store for next year! 

Kayla Marra

Copyright ©2021 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: September 28, 2021.

Photos by Isa Barnett and Kayla Marra © 2021. All rights reserved.

[purplesurveys]

1250

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines?  No. I had a brief period where I wanted to start collecting them SO BAD and often went to toy stores to gawk at the figures I felt like I needed to have; but I grew out of that and I don’t even really give Funkos a second glance whenever I see them anymore haha.

How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime?  We’ve had one cat and two dogs.

Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family?  My dad can play the guitar; he just absolutely never shows it off, not even if you lay out ten guitars in front of him. I think my mom played the piano as a kid.

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever?  Yeah, it was my coping mechanism from a few years ago. I don’t do it nearly as often anymore, but I still have my coloring books and pencils stored in my room just in case I randomly want to get back to the hobby.

Can you crack crab legs without a tool?  No, I ask my parents or grandparents to do it haha.

How many light sources are in the room you’re in?  There are two, but I only use one. I never switch on my main bedroom light as I hate how brightly white it is.

What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels?  I never get bagels so I don’t really have a clue what I prefer on them.

Who’s your favorite director?  Stanley Kubrick.

Bats: cute or gross?  Neither side of the spectrum; I just don’t think about bats.

What was the last really intense pain you felt?  I got a particularly vicious scratch from Cooper around a month ago that left a deep cut on my thigh. The scar is still visible and I think it’s going to remain that way for a while haha I don’t see it fading out anytime soon.

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake?  Both sound extremely pleasant but I’ll take the lake trip because I’ve never seen one, or stayed near one.

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone?  I honestly feel like it’s going to be that way for me moving forward. I’m okay with it, though. I feel like it would be very calming and empowering to be able to explore the world on my own.

What is your father's middle name?  He doesn’t have a second name.

Where did your last kiss take place?  Outside my house, by her car.

Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying?  I haven’t encountered anyone yet that truly terrified me.

If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be?  Kim, hahaha.

Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures?  I wouldn’t say so. I pull up the peace sign most often.

Which one of your family members are you closest to?  My sister and my eldest cousin on my mom’s side.

Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes?  Shoes. They stand out more.

Are you a good liar?  Yes. Doesn’t mean I enjoy lying and take advantage of that skill as much as possible.

Are you proud of your parents?  Sure.

If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick?  Paramore. I think Hozier would be neat as fuck too.

Which is better: orange or grape soda?  I don’t like soda, so neither.

Was the last thing you ate hot or cold?  They are meant to be consumed while hot.

Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family?  Angela and Hans.

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Pink.

Can you remember the last song you listened to?  I just tuned into a random lo-fi playlist, so I’m not familiar with the tracks and the artists who made them.

Have you ever been dumped really harshly?  Yes.

Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort?  Nope.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore?  To a considerable extent.

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them?  She is extremely selfish and the biggest coward I’ve ever met.

Are you more of a phone or a computer person?  Laptop.

Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work?  Yeah, I work at a PR firm.

If not, do you want one?   

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? I know hypertension is kind of a thing on my mom’s side, but I don’t know if there are any other conditions I should know about. 

What’s your favorite Mexican dish?  Burritos and enchiladas.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game?  No, just collegiate-league ones.

Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else?  I use pads. I’ve never used a tampon or any other product, so there’s no basis for me to make a comparison and establish preferences.

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeppp, I got a customized cake for my birthday.

What months were you and your siblings born in?  My brother and I were born in April; my sister was born in September.

What did you have for dinner last night?  Barbecue chicken.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle?  In, yes. Do people have sex ON cars??????

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows?  I will shave extremely occasionally. Otherwise no, I don’t touch them.

Has your town ever flooded?  This time of the year, always.

Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place?  Yup. I preferred Burger King’s playplace, though; it was lesser-known so there were fewer kids I was forced to play with.

Have you ever taken a picture of snow?  I’ve never even seen it.

Do you cry easily?  I can.

Are you happy with where you live?  It’s quiet and safe, which is nice; but I think at this point I would be a lot happier and would be able to grow a lot if I moved to a big city.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race?  Not really; but as a general thought, it is an extremly big pet peeve when people only take into account East Asians when the topic of Asia comes up.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?  I don’t hate her. But I can’t stand her.

What genre is your favorite movie?  Drama, romance, a hint of comedy.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?  My mom and my siblings.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card?  Yeah haha. I was allowed to smile on my license, so at least my photo doesn’t look gloomy.

When was the last time somebody hit on you?  Hasn’t happened in a while.

Was the last person you met a male or female?  For the first time? She’s a girl.

What brand is your underwear?  I don’t remember the name anymore.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?  I don’t celebrate that.

Do you have a TV in your room?  Nah. I don’t really watch the TV anymore, and using the living room TV to watch YouTube videos is enough for me.

Are any of your electronics charging right now?  My laptop is constantly plugged in. My speaker is also charging at the moment.

What was the last video game you played?  I have no clue, it’s been forever.

What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it?  That they’ll always stay. I didn’t make her keep it; I was the one who moved on.

Google, Bing, or Yahoo?  Google.

What was the last song you had on repeat?  It’s been a while since I set a song on repeat. Maybe Film Out? If not that, maybe UGH!

Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube?  Rhett and Link or the Try Guys.

How many college degrees do you want?  I’m okay with the one I have.

Can you wink?  Yeah, but I’m substantially better at winking with my right eye than my left.

Do you own any jerseys?  I don’t think so.

Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult?  No. I don’t even think I’ve had it ever.

Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake?  I’ve never been to a baby shower. Not a thing here.

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided?  I still am. I’m not bothered about it, though. Sex and who I have it with aren’t things I spend much time thinking about.

Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex?  Depends. It certainly suits some people better.

Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish?  No...I am the short person asking for help :)))))))

What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time?  I have black ones but I literally just took them off five minutes ago so I can transfer my music to the speaker I mentioned earlier.

Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school?  I don’t think so.

Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie?  VEGETABLES. I love green beans, eggplants, and bell peppers the most. I can’t stand fruits, with the one exception of avocados.

What would you say is the color of your favorite bra?  Black.

Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway?  I don’t think so. 

What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store?  We don’t have a dollar store, and that should be self-explanatory hah.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest!  God no. That’s gross.

When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in?  Something modern and minimalist.

Where do you want to get married?  Idk, I’m pretty traditional when it comes to this. Booking an events place would be ideal for me; the only thing on my wishlist would probably be the fact that I hope my wedding could be held somewhere cold, like Baguio.

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding?  Uh yeah, sure.

What is your favorite childhood TV show? Spongebob.

Honestly, do you like school?  I liked it when I was granted more freedom to do things my own way, which is to say I really enjoyed college. But I didn’t mind school for the most part, especially since it meant being able to see my friends everyday.

Last thing that made you cry?  I was listening to a song that resonated a lot with me at that moment.

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?  Nothing too big or life-changing to someone if they ever found out.

Last person you took a walk with?  Idk, that’s not an activity I tend to do with other people.

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? No.

Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air?  My ex, probably.

Does any part of your body hurt?  My shoulders are constantly hurting these days. I really need to buy a new work chair :( 

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do?  Million bucks. Easiest choice.

Can you keep a secret?  Sure.

Your favorite romantic movie?  The Proposal.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it, and I celebrated it when I was able to.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?  My sister and I took a silly selfie earlier.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?  Some of the pairs I have do, but they’re meant to be ripped jeans.

Do you celebrate 420? Nope.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?  I don’t think so. I barely use them.

How do you eat Oreos?  I just bite into them. No patience do the whole twist-lick thing. Sometimes I’ll dip them in milk, if we happen to have some.

Do you wear your shoes in the house?  That is a big no-no.

Would you survive in prison?  I might not.

Ever been to Georgia?  No for both state and country.

Do you get your hair cut every month?  No, just once a year. Which reminds me, I finalllllllly had my hair trimmed yesterday hahaha I got sick of my long-ass hair, which was starting to feel like a bitch to maintain. It’s only up to my shoulders now.

Current relationship in detail.  I am single...nothing much to share about it. I get to enjoy to spend my money on myself, which is my favorite part about it hahaha.

If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to?  My grandma.

List things you spend money on in an average week.  Food delivery and nearly every week, merch. I’ve considerably calmed down on the latter, though.

Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10.  I’ve only had one...I guess I’d give her a 9. A bit TMI but the oral could’ve been a little better.

Post the last FB group/page that you joined.  I was looking for FB groups for a work deliverable, but I had to join one of them to give it a better scan. I don’t remember which group it had been, though.

Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship?  No. If they did, I would be very surprised they would still be meddling with a 23 year old’s life.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you?  I’m sure.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?  I’m not now, so no.

What board games are you good at?  I’m quite terrible at all of them, tbh. It’s why I’ve always preferred to simply watch over my friends when they do play board or card games.

Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting?  Wakeboarding. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature?  Immature.

Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea?  I’m not totally obsessed with the idea, but they do look good on people.

Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I don’t know. 100% of the time they are caused by my grown-ass mother throwing a petty-ass tantrum, so I could not care less about the things they fight about. 

Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such?  Nah.

If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it?  I haven’t used the Switch since last year.

Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say?  Pick it up and wait for them to talk.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you?  Probably not, knowing my mom – but I would do absolutely anything else to help.

Are you afraid of falling in love?  I guess you can say that, yeah. I’m not headed towards that feeling again anytime soon, though.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?  I wish I was with my friends now.

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t?  No.

Did you get kissed last night?  Nope.

Do you enjoy going through a carwash?  Idk, I’ve never taken my car to one. That’s something my parents take charge of.

How did you get most of your scars?  Cooper.

Ever had to take an inkblot test? I haven’t.

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do?  Sure. Like back in high school when a group of friends had been caught cheating on our chemistry exam – and we were told that the entire batch would be given a formal warning. I was on the minority side that found the entire situation hilarious, because I know they wouldn’t dare mar the records of everyone else who took that stupid test honestly.

Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger?  My brother, only because he put his hands on me first.

What/who woke you up this morning?  Just me.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you?  My mom, who always goes in there without knocking/warning.

What’s one of your locked text messages?  I don’t lock my texts and I’m not sure if that’s an available feature on my phone.

Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly?  I don’t even know how that game works lol.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed?  Yes.

The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true?  I mean for the most part, yeah. It’s easier to be honest with a few drinks in you. 

When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself?  Continued from the other day. Last week when I forgot about a virtual meeting and attended it 15 minutes after it started.

How about feeling disappointed in someone else?  Last Friday when I had to watch my dad treat a service crew member like shit.

For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy?  Envy, I think. I don’t really feel jealous.

Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions?  Nope, but close. I’ll do eenie-meenie sometimes haha

Do you have any specific chores you do around the house?  Nothing I’m required to do but sometimes I’ll offer to wash the dishes or fold laundry.

For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing?  It’s like 70% fashion, 30% comfort. Looking nice makes me feel more comfortable lol.

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other?  Not each other; the dislike was one-sided. Gabie hated Andi for whatever reason, which in hindsight already should’ve been a red flag.

Do you like Laffy Taffy?  No, I’ve never had one.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?  Manual, only because I’ve never seen, much less use, an electric one.

Are your biceps at all noticeable?  Nah.

Have you ever seen a walrus?  It’s possible, but I don’t have very good memories of it if I have seen one.

Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid?  Not a popular toy here.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it?  It doesn’t. I think that would be a little tacky tbh.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside?  Three. We have doors in the kitchen, dining room, and our main door by the living room.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard?  Not really.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap?  Yes.

Have a best friend?  Yup.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you?  No? That’s pretty petty. Both Angela and Andi have big circles of friends and that would be stressful on my end if I made a fuss every time they hung out with anyone that isn’t me lol.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents?  A bunch. I don’t count them as confidantes.

Does anyone hate you? It’s possible but I don’t care enough to want to know.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything?  Not breaking up with Gabie earlier, even though all the red flags were there.

Do you remember important dates?  For the most part, yeah.

What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you?  “Dream, may all of creation be with you til the end of your life Dream, wherever you are, will welcome you Dream, may your trials end in full bloom Dream, though your beginnings might be humble, may the end be prosperous.”

Who gives the best advice?  Andi. They’re able to tell me advice I don’t want to hear but am supposed to be hearing, which I appreciate.

Who do you usually see in your dreams? :)  It’s a random cast every time.

What type of cake did you last eat?  It was carrot cake with a really good cream cheese frosting.

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual?  Almost all of them are...it’s easier to count friends who are straight.

What’s your favorite type of sandwich?  Anything with pulled pork in it tbh.

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline?  I’ve never been asked out.

Do you like The Offspring?  I know a couple of songs but I definitely can’t call myself a fan.

One pillow or two?  Two.

Do you like Mad Libs?  I’ve never tried playing it.

Are you suicidal?  Not lately. I haven’t been for a while, actually. I’m really happy about that.

Where do your grandparents live?  My paternal grandparents live in the south. My maternal grandma lives in the village right next to ours haha, so not far away at all.

Do you cut yourself?  Yeesh. Can’t questions like this come with a trigger warning? Anyway, no I haven’t in a while as well.

What is your pet’s name?  Kimi and Cooper.

Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. < Same!

Aren’t babies overrated?  I think they are overrated in a sense that everyone always seems to want one of their own, but the circle gets extremely smaller when it comes to those who actually have the capacity to take proper care of an infant.

Have a built-in pool in your backyard?  No.

Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Sure, in like claw games and whatnot.

Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal?  No. I don’t really like stuffed toys lol.

Ever been to a circus?  Nope.

Ever shot animals? I have not.

Do you consider yourself intelligent?  I guess I’m booksmart more than anything else. I had good grades and can handle myself in arguments and debates...but I have my weaknesses in other aspects too, like street smarts lol.

Have you ever run away from home?  I had a period when I wanted to, but never pushed through with it.

Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else?  Work > friends > family.

What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past?  I always shoot my mom a glare as if to say “be careful of the line you’re crossing” whenever she makes a homophobic, sexist, or racist remark.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get?  The healthy and stable mental disposition I find myself in these days. I would never give it up for anything ever again.

Are you satisfied with your body image?  I mean not fully, but I also don’t have any complaints.

Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory?  I’ve been called a bitch by this girl that was just a terror to be classmates with back in middle school. She was known to a big war freak and had her fair share of behavioral/anger issues, so it didn’t really affect me once I knew I was her next target. I didn’t encounter her again until college when we ended up attending the same university, and she’s changed a lot for the better.

Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of?  The former, no. Yes to the latter.

Have you ever been seriously ill?  My fever last year really felt like the end of me lmao, so I guess yeah. 

Have you ever befriended a former enemy?  She wasn’t an enemy per se, but I just found myself immensely irritated by Sofie during our first few meetings; but then she ended up being one of my best friends for a time

If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people?  I did in the past. I wouldn’t do so these days.

Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation?  That hasn’t happened to me.

Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa?  I think once? My ex was brewing a surprise for me for Valentine’s Day last year and to cut the long story short, she essentially walked a crazy long distance in my school to make the surprise a success. My university is huge and even I prefer to take my car whenever I have to go from one building to another, so I definitely saw the effort she had put in.

When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable?  Right now. It’s really humid and my electric fan isn’t really doing anything to curb the heat :/

Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person?  She is very uptight.

Who have you been talking to the most today?  My co-workers, albeit virtually.

Are you nosy?  Nah. I won’t really press and will wait for people to open up.

What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend?  I don’t do mean things to my friends.

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about?  Fuck if I know. Her pride is way up in the sky for her to do something like this.

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed?  I’ve only kissed one person.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh?  I don’t think so. It would be etched in my head if I was ever told this.

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (3.25-3.31.20):

NEW MUSIC:

Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong recorded a cover of “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tommy James and the Shondells in his bedroom, which he then shared with the world. He also put together a video for the cover, paying tribute to the band’s early years.

All Time Low released two new tracks off their upcoming album Wake Up, Sunshine, “Melancholy Kaleidoscope” and “Trouble is.” The band also stopped by Vevo to perform an intimate set of acoustic songs.

Nine Inch Nails surprised fans with two complete albums, Ghosts V-VI. The records were released last Thursday for free download on the band’s official site and all streaming services.

Neck Deep announced a submission-based opportunity to appear in the music video for their second single “When You Know,” off their upcoming studio album All Distortions Are Intentional. The deadline for fan video submissions is this Friday, April 3rd.

August Burns Red dropped the third single from their upcoming album Guardians, titled “Paramount.” Lead guitarist JB Brubaker stated that the song is among his favorites from the new album.

Machine Gun Kelly teamed up with Blink-182’s Travis Barker, Omer Fedi and Steve “Baze” Basil for a full cover of Paramore’s “Misery Business.” Previously, MGK has covered Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Californication,” Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and Juice WRLD’s “Lucid Dreams.

After twice delaying their upcoming album, the 1975 finally tweeted photos of their cover for Notes on a Conditional Form and announced the new release date yesterday. The cover showcases the band and album name, along with the phrase “music for cars.”

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

After postponing the ceremony due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has chosen to reschedule its date for later this year. The event will now take place on November 7th at the Public Auditorium in Cleveland, which will also be streamed via HBO.

Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz livestreamed a “concert” last Monday night using action figures of his bandmates. With a live recording playing in the background, the band “played” their hit song “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” while Wentz filmed.

In light of coronavirus, Dance Gavin Dance announced they are rescheduling their spring dates to early August. The new beginning date will be on August 4th in Seattle, with the tour ending at Swanfest on September 12th in Sacramento, California.

This year’s Firefly Music Festival has been canceled due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Scheduled headliners included Rage Against the Machine, Billie Eilish, Halsey, Blink-182, Khalid and Maggie Rogers.

Soon after, Download Festival UK was also canceled for the same reasons concerning coronavirus. Scheduled headliners included System of a Down, Iron Maiden and KISS.

Motionless in White postponed their upcoming tour due to coronavirus. The tour would have kicked off in late April with support from Knocked Loose, Stick to Your Guns and Ovtlier as openers.

The Twitch Stream Aid 2020, featuring performances by All Time Low‘s Alex Gaskarth, Halestorm and Steve Aoki, took place on Saturday. All proceeds went to the World Health Organization’s COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund.

Elton John‘s “iHeart Living Room Concert” for coronavirus relief took place on Sunday, March 29th. The livestream featured performances from Billie Eilish, Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong, Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl and more.

OTHER NEWS:

Vans debuted their new comfort line with a new pair of Overt CCs designed for advanced comfort and breathability. The brand also revealed plans for a new line of milk-tea inspired colors for their Old Skool line, with three different shades.

State Champs took to social media to reveal longtime guitarist Tony Diaz has decided to “step away” from the band. Diaz joined the band a few years after forming and has appeared on all three of their full-length albums.

Twenty One Pilots became the second rock band in history to achieve more than a single one-billion-streamed song on Spotify with their song “Heathens.” The duo previously achieved the same feat with their massive hit, “Stressed Out.”

Rammstein frontman Till Lindemann has reportedly been diagnosed with coronavirus. The metal singer is reported to be staying in ICU due to his diagnosis with COVID-19 and pneumonia, according to German newspaper Bild.

Weezer released a new 8-bit video game, “The End of the Game” Game, which is titled after their song of the same name. Supposedly, the game is specifically designed to be unbeatable.

Post Malone will be helping raise money to fight the COVID-19 pandemic with a celebrity virtual beer pong tournament, including Machine Gun Kelly and many other sports figures. The eight-day tournament will take place over video chat.

Since testing positive for coronavirus two weeks ago, Crown the Empire’s Brandon Hoover is now free of all symptoms. The guitarist posted a video online assuring fans that he has been cleared by the Los Angeles Health Department.

Thursday are doing their part in aiding the coronavirus relief by using select merch items and turning them into face masks in an effort to supply the worldwide shortage. The band tweeted out their intentions early yesterday.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[maljean89]

Do you have a band whose entire discography brings you back to the different chapters of your life? Its very basic-bitch-white-girl of me, but Paramore is that band for me.

RIOT! (2007) — The end of high school I discovered Paramore when I was a senior in high school. I caught this promo at the end of some reality TV show on MTV of Hayley singing “Misery Business.” I actually found the video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSsDEkbBhZo (about 1:40 in). I was hooked from then on out. A friend of mine burned a CD for me that had “Misery Business” and “That’s What You Get” along with “My Heart” from their first album. When I close my eyes I can see driving through my small town in my black Chevy Blazer with the windows down and the music cranked.

BRAND NEW EYES (2009) — UW Oshkosh This album was the soundtrack of my college years. This album brings me back to mostly bad memories. Memories of a time when I was repressed and not exploring myself the way I should have been. I listened to “The Only Exception” and thought it was made for me and him. I look back and “Playing God” was more accurate. I did create a kickass long-form radio piece reviewing this album that turned out really really great. I was really proud of it — here’s the link: https://vimeo.com/18520889. When I close my eyes I can see the campus, the radio station WRST, that apartment where we had so many fights. I guess you could say this album got me through it, while at the same time DJ’ed the whole shit-tastic experience.

THE FINAL RIOT! (2008) — A metaphor for what I wanted my relationship to be Even though this album came out prior to Brand New Eyes, I didn’t personally own it until after. I got it as a gift from my ex-husband — the same fuck I was dating in college. I loved it. I still have it. Most of my CDs were quickly separated from their cases, never to be reunited again. Not this CD (and DVD). Always stayed in its case, and always lived on the bookshelf. I treated it like a collectors item — something to be displayed. Oddly enough, I treated my then-new marriage the same way. On the outside, to the rest of the world — we were happy. I was happy with my choices. If I just told myself one more time, if I just posted one more picture, if I just put it up on that shelf to display it to everyone... maybe I’d believe that I actually wanted it. To be clear — I love the CD, just not the person who gave it to me and the time period during which I displayed it. Transported back to a time when I dreamed of getting away and being someone in the crowd of this concert — faceless, nameless, and singing along in unison with strangers. 

PARAMORE (2013) — The shitshow that was my marriage

When the first single from this album came out, I hated it. “Now” is still one of my least favorite songs on the album. I remember feeling sad and betrayed that this band that I loved, that I held so close to my heart, made something I didn’t recognize. What could I trust in this world if I couldn’t trust Paramore? I close my eyes and I’m in the grey Ford Escape we bought with the money my dad gave me to pay for my college. The car he would end up taking in the divorce. I’m transported back to countless nights of being kicked out of my own apartment. I grew to love this album. Again, I thought songs like “Still into You” and “Ain’t It Fun” applied to my love-life and newfound adulthood as I convinced myself that I was happy, that I liked my life and my choices. But songs like “Last Hope” and “Part II” bring me back to how melancholy I felt. How trapped. How lost. I don’t even know myself at all, I thought I would be happy by now. Words could have never been more true at that point in my life.

AFTER LAUGHTER (2017) — On the other side I waited 4 years for another Paramore record. And in 4 years, my life changed. A LOT. I left that piece of shit that held me down, held me back. My mom got cancer and I watched her wither away for a year and held her hand as she died. I met the love of my life. This album came out right before I went on the road with him — went on tour with him an we drove across the entire country, blasting this record. Jonah was very sick of it by the time we hit California, but he had no say in it if he wanted me to do the driving! From the East Coast to Canada, through the midwest, down the West Coast, and down through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and last stop, Georgia. I fell in love with these songs and how this band had aged and grown up and gone through depression, just like I had. We all went through “Hard Times” and gave people fake smiles. While widely departed from their pop-punk beginnings, this album feels synthy and dripping with eighties energy — as do the music videos. Paramore wasn’t afraid to change with this album and I felt like I wasn’t afraid to change too.

One song sticks out like a sore thumb and makes me cry every time I listen to it. I was 26 when I left him, when I left that shitty life I wasted behind me. Everything was fine until you came around. Until he ruined everything, I had my close relationship with my mom, I had a sense of who I was. You got me tied up but I stay close to the window. He wouldn’t let me have friends or have a life that didn’t include him. I literally can remember daydreaming, gazing out that front window of our apartment at Lake Superior, wishing I could hop on one of those huge ships and just get the fuck out of here, get a new life. The part that really gets me is this:

Reality will break your heart Survival will not be the hardest part It's keeping all your hopes alive All the rest of you has died So let it break your heart

“26″ is literally a song about hope, but I feel like it was written just for me. Getting out from underneath the thumb of an emotionally abusive partner — missing out on years of valuable time with my mother only to reunite and watch her die — finding hope in the face of Jonah and finally feeling free to be myself, to explore, to grieve, to love, and to live.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grew up and went through lots of shit as I listen to these albums. I got to feel a band grow and mature as I grew and matured. There have been artists in my lifetime that I fell in love with at a meaningful point in my life, but they didn’t keep growing as I grew. Artists (sadly) like Avril, who showed me at 13 that it was okay to be different than the preppy girls, who gave me hope with her 2nd album that I was going to grow as she grew, but who then disappointed me beyond repair with her 3rd album when she took a hard left turn into sassy, stupid, blonde vapidity. But then came Paramore — a band with a sound that matched my teenage spirit, and I was whisked away into my young adulthood. I’m 31 now and Hayley only just released her first solo album this year and I’m still growing and changing with this artist. She stepped away from Paramore (for good? We do not know.) and put out this indie-sounding experimental album that feels like 80′s pop mixed with Sia’s 2005 record “Colour The Small One” — a high school fave of mine. As a fan, it gives me hope when someone like Hayley Williams doesn’t allow herself to be trapped in a box. She doesn’t have to be a pop-punk, flame-haired front woman forever. She can change. I can change. Paramore can grow, and so can I.

Let’s keep changing and growing for the rest of our lives, shall we?

[blogaboutmusic]

all the playlists !

did this a while ago, but my spotify changed so much that i decided to do it again, and also because i have a lot of new followers! thank you & thank you if you follow my playlists! Be sure to check the list out bc i have a playlist for almost every genre & mood!

● ✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ* existential crisis:  everything i have that is sad ● 2019 ; letz getit: music i discovered so far in 2019 / music that is important to me in 2019 ● 20(18)GAYTEEN: every album that came out in 2018 (at least of artists i like) ● 20(19)BITEEN: every album that came out in 2019 (/artist i like :) ) ● 5sᴏs ; complete: i think the title says it all ● ａｌｉｅｎｓ: a mix full of alt. songs. dope. 10/10 recommend to aliens ● all of it ; alternative ?: stuff that is alt but not quite, pop punk but not quite, rock but not quite, etc! ● all of it ; emo music: EVERYTHING YOU NEED. EVERYTHING SAD. EVERYTHING ANGRY. EVERYTHING GUITAR. pop-punk punk-rock emo/rock indie/alternative ● all of it ; k-pop: all the k-pop music that I listen to, stuffed into one mix. ● ᴀʟʟ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴡ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇ��ᴇ: all of all time low’s music ● angry k-pop bops: a playlist that was inspired by district 9 of stray kids ● autumn, baby: perfect songs for fall! ● back to the future: idk some albums that i love listening to that go really well together ● bandito tour ; twenty one pilots: a playlist for an upcoming concert ● b͓̽a͓̽n͓̽g͓̽ ͓̽c͓̽h͓̽a͓̽n͓̽: a playlist for my bias of stray kids! ● ʙᴀɴɢᴛᴀɴɢ sᴏɴʏᴇᴏɴᴅᴀɴ ; ʙᴛs: all of bts’ music in one playlist ● best intro's, no argue: okay but really 505 is one of the best songs ever don’t fight me on that one ● bi bops: actually it doesnt matter if you’re gay, straight, pan or bi, these all work. just bops. ● b-sides, : songs i tend to forget about because i mostly listen to other songs on the albums... but they deserve the world so there you go ● 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖒𝖊: kinda angry, kinda alternative. ● bon voyage: i listened to this a lot when i went to paris and when i have to travel a lot. travel worthy. ● bop that Bussy ; emo version: FAV EMO JAMS AND BOPS AND BANGERS ● bring me the horizon ; complete : all of bmth’s music ● bts amsterdam 13.10.18: SETLIST ly tour amsterdam but also europe. i miss them a lot & wanna thank them for one of my best nights ever

● calm my anxious ass: what i need when i’m breaking down & alone again ● chanyeol (っ◔◡◔)っ: a playlist for my exo bias, mostly english sung songs though ● chilly billy doobop: so nice to have as background music or for when there’s a friend over. just ever so fckn CHILL ● classical // piano: classical music, mostly piano ● current mood: songs i’m probably listening to right now (lmao still) ● daniel james howell: a playlist for my fav youtuber!!! ● daydream: my playlist with music that makes me dream for a better version of me ● ᴅᴀʏ6 ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: every day6 song ever. stan talent stan day6 ● death / school mix: songs about dying & other relatable stuff for school, ha ha ● dizzy tummy: stuff i listen to strolling through the city or being in a specific trainride ● dope on a rope: no, this isn't a playlist for the growlers' song, it's old beats. ● emo & alternative: sum emo tunes! totally random *insert that one crazy emoji with the tongue out* ● energize this tired bub: upbeat tempo music that really energizes me ● energetic appleflap: playlist for a friend (that i have crush on) ● eɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀᴘᴀʀᴋꜱ: music i  listened to before & after my waterparks concert + every waterparks song ever & the setlist ● ᴇxᴏ ; xᴏxᴏ: exo complete. please give us a ot9 comeback ● exploring: stuff i have yet to listen to ● fᴀʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ʙᴏʏ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of FOB’s music. can you believe i’m still emo trash? ● frickity freck!: fresh alt-ish music ● fuck me up: a ReAlLy gOoD aLterNaTiVe / IndiE / eMo playlist? ● funky dunky business: the bass in these is mostly really mcflipping good ● geez, morty: playlist for fake friends ● ɢᴏᴛ7 ; ᴀʜɢᴀsᴇ: all of got7 their music ● ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴀʏ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of green day aka my fav band their music ! every.thing. ● grrr. : just metal and grunge. heavy shit ● guitars: really good guitars like guns ‘n roses & beatles and just guitars that i love??? ● guns  n' roses setlist: setlist g ‘n r Europe 2017 ● halsey: indie artist, all her music in a playlist ● happy vibes: music that makes me smile!! ● hoe anthems (k-pop ver.); k-pop bops that make me go wanna hoe the heck out ● homework // calm: music i listen to when i make homework ● hug me pls: acoustic songs i wanna listen to while cuddling ● i’m a mess: a good, short playlist i- lol- unironically made when i discovered Michael Clifford had a girlfriend lmao i hope theyre happy they deserve it ● i, an intellectual: a nerd: music from movies and series i really dig ● interactive introverts: music they played and i listened to before interactive introverts ● jae = bae: this one goes out to jae, guitarist and vocal legend in the band day6 ● jazzin' away: jazz, my friend. ● j-pop ; rock 'n soul: my favourite j-pop songs!! yes, that includes all one ok rock songs. ● journal writings: i attempt to keep up a journal. this gives me vibes. sometimes a bit more uptempo, but mostly a bit softer ● judith.eliza: for a friend ● jughead's tape: for jughead jones, of riverdale ● just guitars, nothing else.: just acoustic guitars of some of my fav songs, really good for while studying i think ● k-grooves: korean r&b and indie ● k-pop ; essential jams: my favourite k-pop songs, which are quite a lot! ● k-pop ; girls: all my girl groups’ music ● k-rock ; you make myday: all my favourite k-rock songs, yes that includes every day6 song because they are just that good sorry ● last young renegade tour: music i listened to before & after my all time low concert + the setlist ●  letters to you: songs that made me think of my crush. i think people can realate? ● let there be luf: some new alt, sum songs about love ● lilacskyjimin ; fav: playlist for a friend ● lone hours: in: feeling lonely? we do, too, dont worry. youre not alone. ● mama: stuff i grew up with / stuff my mother and i both like ● marina & the diamonds: apperantly she’s only called marina now? one of the best female singers i know, indie as f*ck ● ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ; 5sos:  playlist for the 5sos concert, setlist and the songs in between! ● micmicbudgee ; fav: playlist for a friend ● mom jeans, tired eyes: mostly 70s and 80s BOPS ● ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴀ x ; ᴍᴏɴʙᴇʙᴇ: all of monsta x’s music in a playlist ● muse ; complete: all of alt rock band muse their songs ● my chemical romance ; complete: emo rock band mcr all of their music ● my youngblood chronicals: alt rock songs. the reason why i’m still fighting ● nederlandse bodem: my favourite Dutch songs! ● ɴᴇᴏ ᴄᴜʟᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴄʜɴᴏʟᴏɢʏ ; ɴᴄᴛ: nct complete, in a playlist ● nienisneckdeep ; fav: playlist for a friend ● nights: songs i like to listen to before going to sleep ● noa.myg: fav: another playlist for a friend ● non-english bops: jewish, french, spanish, swedish, irish and celtic music like omnia (which is partly english but i think it fits here so tough luck) ● one ok rock ; complete: one ok rock is a japanese rock band that sings in english in their latest work ● ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ! ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪsᴄᴏ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of panic! at the disco’s music in a playlist ● paramore ; complete: paramore was a punk rock band with a female singer, and now they make alt rock ● paris: a playlist for a city that i miss, a time that i miss ● ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀɢᴏɴ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: aka all of k-pop group Pentagon their music in a playlist ● pizza punk: waterparks, neck deep, with con and music like that. perfect for skating eheh ● power vocals: beautiful voices ! voices that make me jealous ● problems with sleeping: lovely alt songs, some of them are about not being able to sleep ● queen discography: you know that movie, bohemian rhapsody..? ● rad activist shit: end gun violence. black lives matter. abortions should be legal, pedophiles and rapists should not be able to walk free. oh and love is love, get over it. angry songs, songs about revolution. ● rainbow: love songs, some sad (rain), some ever so happy (sun). together they make a rainbow ● red hot chili peppers: the red hot chili peppers are rock band and if you dont know them, look them up!! ● revolution radio 2017: music i listened to before & after my green day concert + the setlist ● rev up my spaceship, bois: modern hard rock in a playlist! ● sad boi o’clock: another sad playlist, you can never have enough of these ● sᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ; sᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ: seventeens (k-pop) complete music discography ● skylinn ; khaleesiqoyi: first playlist i made for a friend: my best friend ● slytherin headgirl: this is what the people in slytherin listen to, i swear ● socrates would deffo stan: indie and alt, only for intellectuals (i’m just kidding) ● soft; rock™: soft (old) rock ● soft; k-pop: for if you wanna weep along with exo, bts,, etc ● soundtrack of my life 🌙: the basics to my music ● space jams 🚀: most songs are about wanting to run away, perfect for when you’re in space ● spoopy rave: i secretly listen to this through the year, idec ● starry skies, snazzy beats: mostly cute beats, perfect for studying or staring at the sky ● sᴛᴀʏ ; sᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅs !: all of stray kids songs, go stan them already and please stay ● stranger things: songs that give me a stranger things vibe ● supernatural ; rock & grunge: stuff Dean Winchester would listen to, blue oyster cult, aerosmith, black sabbath, stuff like that ● tae tae: a playlist for v of bts, one of my biases ● the 1975: an alt band, latest work: an brief inquiry into online relationships ● the neighbourhood: very chill music. kinda rap, kinda alt ● these physically turn me on: really, really good songs, or nice vocals, idk how to explain ● tits out for harambe: the closest thing i have to pop music / rap i guess, with khai dreams, frank ocean, childish gambino, ari, troye, ya know ● tokyo: a playlist for dreaming about the feeling of a city ● travel back in time: 50s, 60s music, stuff i listen to with my grandpa but also alone cuz its fun ● twenty øne piløts ; complete: all of twenty one pilots their music ● underappreciated alt songs: alternative songs that i think deserve (even more) hype! ● waterparks ; complete: nice new pop punk band that deffo has a lot of talent! ● when the week ends: a mix for the weekend ● wubbalubbadubdub: old bops that make me forget about my sadness ● year in review: 2018: music i discovered in 2018 / music that was important to me in 2018 / songs that came out in 2018 ● yoongi: songs where you can sing yoongi really clearly and songs that make me think of him ● you’re making me feel miserable: songs i listened to after i confessed to my crush and he turned me down sksksksk

please reblog, it helps my blog a lot, tysm

[renegade-is-in-my-blood]

  Hey. I have always been kind of sentimental and had hard time throwing out stuff. Over the years I managed to stock bunch of useless stuff with great emotional value to me even though my young age. I put all of my material memories up on my wall into my memory collage and here I’m about to give you a sneak peek of memories I’m most fond of.

There is this letter my dear friend Elizabeth wrote me when I was around 5 years old. I used to live in USA from age 2-5 in Highland park NJ with my fathers colleague from work and his family. They had 2 daughters Elizabeth few years older than me and Claudia few years younger. When my youngest sister was born we moved back to Slovakia for good and as there was no Facebook back then all me and my american friends had were this cute letters. 

Underneath the letter is taxi number of a cab me and my friends drove on our goodbye dormitory night. I used to live at all girls dormitory for 4 years and there were plenty of strict rules, we couldn’t go out late, we had to keep our room clean, turn of the lights at 10pm and many others that made breaking rules even more fun. On our last year all of the other girls prepared this cute cultural program, they danced, recited, sang and made us dinner as a goodbye to our time at dorm. At this evening we had free pass or night out – meaning we could stay out late all night ( but we still had to go to school the next day)  so me and my girlfriends went to disco and drove this cab in the morning so I saved the card for the memories.

I saved my flying tickets from 2 years ago when I returned back to America for summer. Me and my cousins drove to Vienna , flew to London a from there to Newark airport. All of the tickets are up on my wall and if you want to read about my america travel experiences feel free to check out some of the articles I wrote.

I saved the baby bottle made out of paper with my name on it that I got on my first day on my high school dorm from older students as a welcome gift. We had this big party where we had to play bunch of embarrassing games as newbies to sort of see what is students life really like. I saved the pharmacist bottle with my name on it that I got from younger students as a goodbye gift on my last day at school – graduated pharmacist assistant.

On my first birthday after I moved to Czech republic my parents send me flowers and champagne to my new university dorm as a birthday surprise and I kept the card they send me. I remember this old delivery guy knocking on my door with huge bouquet of roses and champagne in other hand looking for miss Natalia. I got so freaked out cuz night before me and my friends spend the night out as most of first year university students do – drinking. I had some blank spaces in my memory from previous night and I got so scared I hooked up with this old men and now he’s bringing me flowers. Thank god he was just a delivery guy.

I kept my red cross membership card I had for 4 years. I kept my rehabilitation access card I used to write all my rehab terms on as a reminder of really terrible times I went through.

I kept the coach pass card me and my firs university roommate got and pretended to be cheerleader coaches for czech cheerleaders championships. Her mum was actually a coach and gave us the tickets for free.

I kept all of the maps and pocket guides from my USA trip. I also kept Dresden map we were all receiving in a bus of our christmas trip to Dresden –  I actually went on a same trip 2 times but I only kept one map.

When I was in Washington D.C.me and my cousins went to Holocaust museum. 

All of the tourists were receiving this identification card of one jewish person who died in holocaust and their story. As we travel through museums floor we would find out how and why person in our card died.

Mine was a girl named Julie she was polish and she got caught and killed after she gave food to jewish children she met on the street.

I kept so many tickets from almost every country I ever visited. I kept ticked from tour Montparnasse in Paris from New years even in Paris and also the ticket to Eifel tower. I kept ticket from Venice Campanile di San Marco from when me and my girlfriend made a weekend trip to Italy. I kept subway ticket from Vienna when me and my friend went to Christmas markets there. I kept subway ticket even from Prague when I was firstly visiting with my friends as we went to paramore (our favourite band) concert almost 6 years ago. Who knew I would be moving to live in Prague soon. I kept ticket from wax museum Grevin in Prague and also from wax museum Madame Tussaud in London. I kept ticket from my firs live hockey game I watched. I kept ticket from Wildwoods water park from 2 years ago. I kept cinema tickets and I even kept waiting number I got at police station from when I was picking up my driver’s license.

I kept a guitar pick I caught at a rock concert in my hometown from band called Guano apes. I kept a ribbon from my prom night and also small piece of broken glass from same night ( but that just can’t go on a wall).

There is so many more stuff I just keep in my drawer and when I feel like it I just go through it all and relive it all. I always assumed I would forget those memories by now but when I hold each item I can clearly see the day  got them and how I got to own them.

I’m just 22 years old and I already store bunch of “craps from my past” so I guess I will need much bigger drawer or bigger wall in a years to come.

I just love keeping the memories alive.

Thank you so much for your attention

xo Natalia

  Down memory lane wall Hey. I have always been kind of sentimental and had hard time throwing out stuff. Over the years I managed to stock bunch of useless stuff with great emotional value to me even though my young age.

[personagf-moved]

🤓💜🤓💜

tag games under the cut! ⇊

ok sO....im mixing a bunch of tag games together again im sorry lol. thank you to @penicillinjimin for tagging me in the 15 questions tag,  @joonieblossoms for tagging me in the bias selfie tag and (i think) the questions tag as well and @rotaehyung for tagging me in the this or that tag! sldkfjsdf i know its a lot and im sorry but i answered all below. this took so long to post lol im slacking.

im tagging @koyasdad @outrotearbias @injoonsgalaxy @1ovegf @bbyjoonbug @soft-seokjin-stan @moonsnail @ikons @knjscrush u guys can do all or some or none of these tags  KDSKJ i didnt wanna bother u all n tag u in separate posts so here we are yeet ily guys im sorry 💓😂

“get to know me” tag:

Nicknames/Pet names:  my school friends used to call me m-let, my coworkers call me let-let and uh.........my family calls me princess kdkdkdkdkd

Zodiac: we a whole ass libra sun on main !

Height: 5'1 :’)

Last Movie:  aqua man!

Last Thing I Googled: what crashing a car in a dream symbolizes lmao bc i’ve had like a repetitive dream involving this for months now and its been bothering me 

Favorite musician: besides bts, paramore for sure kehlani, paramore, miguel, hozier, and mitski

Songs Stuck In My Head: nights like this by kehlani but what else is new

Other Blogs: lowkey????? i have a lot skskskks but im not gonna link them HA

Do I Get Asks?: when i reblog ask games 4 times in a row and beg bc i crave attention slkfjsdlkfjskdf

Dream Trip: Japan :/ and paris but wbk

Amount of Sleep: hahahahahahahhahh

Lucky Number: 6! call me self-centered but its the day of my birthday and i was always the 6th person in my classes alphabetically so i just assumed it was fate. also i associate the number with the colors pink and purple and besides yellow they’re my favorite colors 

What I’m Wearing: my hope world shirt n some pjs 

Favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti :( and sushi HAHA 

Dream job: o a writer for sure, or maybe a singer, but that’s in my wildest dreams lol 

Play any instruments:  i can play the piano and ukulele pretty well and maybe the guitar if i practice enough lol 

Languages: i only spoke english growing up but i can understand some filipino

Random fact: im stoopidt  im a horrible person and like to waste all of my money on concert tickets and have went to over 25+ shows in the past two years skjdskdjskjdksjd

‘this or that’ tag:

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or iced teas // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forest // planets or neons // diners or cafés // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // humming bird or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or watercolour// fairy lights or candles

15 questions tag:

Are You Named After Someone: I’m named after both of my grandmas on my mom and dad’s side. Maria + Leticia = Marylet! I was genuinely named Twilight style lol

When was the last time you cried: about a week ago, it was after my cat got put down and I was watching old family videos and other things piled up hard so i just got a lil upset lol but its fine now tho!

Do You Have Kids: no but i do want them someday :’(

Do You Use Sarcasm A Lot: i am the queen of it

What’s the First Thing You Notice About Someone: their smile! (or the lack thereof, which speaks volumes) also their hair idk why

Eye Color: Brown

Scary Movie or Happy Ending:  scary movies. always.

Any Special Talents: uhhh i can sing i guess lol i also write but idk if thats really considered a talent

Where Were You Born: new jersey!

Hobbies: writing, singing/generally listening to/making music, video editing (although i haven’t done that in a LOOOOOOONG time), playing video games

Pets: none :(

How Tall Are You: we a solid 5′1 babeyyy

What Sports Do You Play/Have You Played: OOF i dont play any sports now but i was in LOVE with volleyball in high school. i like to watch basketball tho and am a T H R I V I N G boston celtics fan

Favorite Subject: english and music

Dream Job: i think i answered it in the other tag but yeah a writer! 

[wondroussimmer-blog]

GET TO KNOW ME-

Basically, no one actually tagged me in this, but I thought i’d give it a go anyway seeing as this is a new blog and you guys can get to now me a bit, so I tag anyone who sees this and also wants to have a go...

________________________________________________________________

1. What is your full name? I’m not putting my last name on here, but my first name is Maja (Miya) 2. What is your nickname? I don’t really have one 3. Birthday? January 1st 4. What is your favourite book series? I don’t really read book series’ 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Not 100% sure, I don’t believe in the sort of ghosts you see in films, but I think I believe our loved ones stay with us in some way. As for aliens, idk, we can’t be the only life but idk.  6. Who is your favourite author? I find the fault in our stars quite overrated, but i’d say John Green because some of his others are my favourites! 7. What is your favourite radio station? BBC Radio 1 8. What is your favourite flavour of anything? this is such a weird question, how can you have a favourite flavour for everything? but if it’s sweet, definitely strawberry! 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Again, weird question, but i use so many words for this, my most used are probably lovely and amazing 10. What is your current favourite song? this changes alll the time, but right this minute it’s probably sunflower by post malone and swae lee 11. What is your favourite word? is this a thing? 12. What was the last song you listened to? vacation by hippo campus 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? big mouth, orphan black, queer eye, dexter 14. What is your favourite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? the breakfast club or mean girls probably 15. Do you play video games? only the sims 16. What is your biggest fear? probably the death of people close to me, and in the future not being able to have children 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? probably that i’m a friendly person  18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i’m v insecure 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? DOGS... always dogs! 20. What is your favourite season? autumn/winter 21. Are you in a relationship? yes 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? having way more friends and barely any responsibilities 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye colour? blue 25. What is your hair colour? brown 26. Who is someone you love? my boyfriend and family 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend and closest family 28. Who is someone you think about often? okay wow, so much variety in these answers but the same as the previous two answers 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? christmas and my birthday 30. What is your biggest obsession? probably sims 31. What was your favourite TV show as a child? Probably Tracy beaker or that’s so raven  32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my boyfriend 33. Are you superstitious? only slightly 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? cracking knuckles, moths (but only indoors), realistic looking mannequins and gas masks... so not much 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind, every single time 36. What is your favourite hobby? playing sims, graphic designing, video editing 37. What was the last book you read? The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks 38. What was the last movie you watched? Muppet’s Christmas Carol 39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? I play a bit of guitar and can play the mr bean theme song on piano if that counts 40. What is your favourite animal? dogs 41. What are your top 5 favourite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I definitely have more than 5  42. What superpower do you wish you had? be able to teleport and go invisible  43. When and where do you feel most at peace? probably at home with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? sorry if this is becoming a boring answer... but my boyfriend! also my dog :) 45. What sports do you play, if any? I don’t at the moment, but I have done tennis, dance (ballet, tap and modern), swimming, karate, speed skating and netball 46. What is your favourite drink? water... how boring ik 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Last month, I made my boyfriend a scrap book as one of my boyfriend’s presents for our anniversary and wrote some letters as part of it  48. Are you afraid of heights? not if it’s a secure height 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have wayyy too many and so many grammatical ones, I absolutely hate when people incorrectly use was and were, so if someone said ‘we was going’, I think it’s quite an essex thing but I hateeee it, I can’t stand bad grammar, but also slow walkers, people who walk through the door without looking behind them to hold the door open for people behind, other drivers not indicating, people that have to be louder than everyone else, people that chew with their mouths open... basically I have a lot and this list could go on and on and on 50. Have you ever been to a concert? I’ve seen all time low, the 1975, imagine dragons, sunset sons, ed sheeran and paramore in concert so far and i’m seeing panic! at the disco in march which i’m MEGA excited about!!! 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? vegetarian 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? This would change all the time, it went from radio dj, to dancer, to teacher when I was really young, then architect when I was a teenager, and now it’s clinical psychologist which i’m slowly working towards 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? I’ve not got a clue 54. What is something you worry about? EVERYTHING! I get a lot of social anxiety, so basically whenever i’m out of the house i’m worrying about absolutely everything and it’s the worst and gets me super down, so yeah, love that 55. Are you scared of the dark? okay so I don’t like leaving the dark, i’m fine being in the dark but I hate when i’m home alone and have to turn the lights off in the living room, kitchen and hall to go to bed... if that makes sense 56. Do you like to sing? i’m someone that, at home, is constantly singing, and when it’s only my boyfriend around, if one of us says a sentence that can in some way relate to a song, i’ll immediately sing it, but I suck so I won’t ever sing in public 57. Have you ever skipped school? in school I faked being ill a few times to get off of school, but in uni i’ve skipped way too many lectures over the past 3 years 58. What is your favourite place on the planet? I absolutely adore Spain, but also Belgrade (i’m half Serbian) 59. Where would you like to live? If not my current home town, i’d love to one day live somewhere like Norway or Sweden 60. Do you have any pets? yep, i’ve got a french bulldog 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? I wake up pretty early, but I hate to start the day early 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets. 63. Do you know how to drive? Yep 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? the sound of headphones but I normally use earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? nope, thank god 66. What is your favourite genre of music? this really ranges from charts, to indie rock, to ‘former emo kid’, to early 2000s r&b, to musical theatre 67. Who is your hero? probably my boyfriend 68. Do you read comic books? no 69. What makes you the most angry? as we’ve already gathered, I have a lot of pet peeves, so a lot! 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?a real book! 71. What is your favourite subject in school? I currently study psychology which has been my favourite subject since A levels, but during GCSEs I enjoyed maths  72. Do you have any siblings? 1 younger brother 73. What was the last thing you bought? some christmas presents for my boyfriend’s cousins 74. How tall are you? 5ft4 75. Can you cook? yes 76. What are three things that you love? spending time with people I love, travelling, collecting photos  77. What are three things that you hate? busy places, cheats, confrontation 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? I actually barely have any so this is kind of hard to answer 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight 80. Where do you currently live? England 81. Who was the last person you texted? my mum 82. When was the last time you cried? I’m not actually sure, which is funny because I cry all the time and super easily 83. Who is your favourite YouTuber? I have so many: in terms of sims: lilsimsie, urbansims, sophsims, simkim, plumbella, in terms of lifestyle: louise pentland, in terms of fashion and beauty: samantha maria, tati westbrook, busybee carys, patricia bright, antonio garza, and others: shane dawson, sarah baska, kendall rae, jaackmaate, and loads more! basically, if i’m not on tumblr, i’m on youtube, if i’m not on youtube i’m playing sims, and if i’m not on sims i’m on tumblr... 84. Do you like to take selfies? rarely 85. What is your favourite app? any social media  86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? fab 87. What is your favourite foreign accent? Australian and Scottish 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? I have so many but I won’t bore you with another long list, so just a few: Sweden, South Africa, Iceland and Canada 89. What is your favourite number? 1 90. Can you juggle? no 91. Are you religious? I was baptised but don’t really consider myself religious 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? both as interesting as the other 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really 94. Are you allergic to anything? no 95. Can you curl your tongue? yep, one of my weird ‘party tricks’ is I can actually curl it 180 degrees 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? not as often as I should 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? probably the forest 99. What is your favourite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?my dad probably gives the best life advice but there’s too much to put here   100. Are you a good liar? It depends 101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I N T R O V E R T, i’m so introverted to the point I hate it but seriously struggle to change it 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no but I have in the past 105. Do you believe in second chances? it depends 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Hand it in 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? It depends 108. Are you ticklish? VERY 109. Have you ever been on a plane? manyyyy times 110. Do you have any piercings? nope, I have but not anymore 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? no idea  112. Do you have any tattoos? nope 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? I’m really not sure 114. Do you believe in karma? to an extent, but at the same time bad things seem to happen to good people, sooooo 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? neither 116. Do you want children? yes 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my cousin 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? omg my whole life is filled with embarrassing memories that I seem to always remember at the most inconvenient times or when i’m about to go to sleep that just haunt me out of nowhere...fun 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes 120. What colour are most of you clothes? black or white 121. Do you like adventures? yep 122. Have you ever been on TV? no 123. How old are you? 20 - nearly 21 124. What is your favourite quote? not really sure. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? sweet

[sunflowerchester]

I’ve had on odd relationship with time in 2018. As I look back on events of this year I’ve found that most of them feel like they’ve taken place weirdly out of order. Upon discussing this phenomenon with Rach, I realized we both felt this way. Then scrolling through my feeds on assorted social media I came to the conclusion that a LOT of us feel weird about how 2018 unfolded.

I started this year by losing my Grandma but that feels more recent to me than when I started dating an ex again in August. I visited Anya in Seattle at the beginning of May which feels more recent than when I went to Canada at the end of June. Going to NYC with Rocky at the beginning of June feels like it took place last year as does when Rachael came to visit me this past March. However she also came to visit me last December for my birthday which feels more recent than her March visit??  

When I looked back at my Instagram archive, I couldn’t believe my little cousin’s wedding was just in February, and while I was going through all these twilight-zone-like epiphanies about how distorted time feels in 2018 Thursday morning, I realized it hadn’t even been a week since I was at work last. Which of course felt like a whole other type of surreal, because at that point, I felt like I had been off work for a month.

So as this year winds down I feel this pressure from within me bubbling up telling me to write a year-end retrospective, and while I have been procrastinating the start of whatever this is I’ve been wondering what is it that I want to say, and I think it’s this: In our never-ending desire to already be Where We’re Supposed To Be or to have Learned Our Lesson and Checked That Box, it’s natural to want to close out a year as if it’s the end of a story or a chapter with all the ducks falling behind us nicely in a row, to find meaning in all you’ve experienced within it. But what’s more reasonable to expect is, like this ridiculous wad of tangled up earbuds masquerading as 2018, we are not linear, our journeys are not in a straight line, and neither is our growth or evolution, neither is our story arc. I mean, if time doesn’t even have to adhere to chronological order, why do we feel we have to? And maybe you don’t feel that way (congrats!) but I sometimes box myself in, so therefore sometimes I do.

This was a year where I got to participate in my 2nd Women’s March. I saw one of my favorite bands, The Killers, after missing them for four years. I settled into my apartment and realized I love my apartment (the amount of skyline pictures I post weekly that all seem to look like the exact same picture is proof of that). I got to see Lorde in concert in --like-- the 5th row and definitely cried. I attended rallies and marches for things I believe in even when I had to go alone. I received my 10 year plaque at my job. I voted in multiple elections. I saw Congressman O’rourke speak at least 4 times. I saw Michelle Obama speak. I made it to my 100th ride at spin and I’m still going and still loving it. I started therapy. I got to see Haim with Lizzo in concert across the street from my apartment. I danced with one of my best friends in the rain, then walked to get pizza. I asked an artist I respect, Bo Burnham, a question about a piece of art he created that really meant something to me, Eighth Grade, and he answered it. I got my first tattoo. I said goodbye when my boundaries were breached and I didn’t feel guilty about it. I walked around London by myself. I paid off my student loan. I also saw Paramore in concert and Sir Elton John! I stood on the tallest building in NYC and got to see it as the sun set. I played with other people’s dogs and even got to dogsit from time to time.

I shouldn’t end a year like that feeling I accomplished little just because there was no straight line to be drawn through my “progress,” a term I don’t even really know how to define or why it matters! Sometimes trying to quantify a year (Well, yes I did watch Rent last night, why do you ask?) or figure out What it All Means can diminish an experience rather than highlight it. In the new year, I plan to let myself be what I am, where I am, and how I am, only, and push myself in ways that don’t box me in but allow me to flourish naturally, be it linear or not. (Spoiler: it won’t be linear.)

The warped way 2018 exists in my memory has served as a reminder to me that I don’t have to have it all figured out yet because no one ever does, not even time. You never reach a truly enlightened point in life where you’ve leveled up so far, you no longer struggle. You just get better at adjusting and dealing with what you face when it’s time to face struggle.

I’m ready to say “thank u, next” to 2018 and see what weird time loop 2019 will be.

[purplesurveys]

1194

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

What’s your favourite song to sing to? These days it’s Sweet Night by V, but it always changes tbh. I don’t really have an all-time favorite song to sing along to.

What’s your relationship like with your exes? Nonexistent. I’m good at blocking off people and memories like that, no matter how special the relationship had been or how much time we spent together. I don’t feel guilty about it; I actually feel more at peace this way.

What mistake do you find yourself making over and over again? Procrastinating and putting off things I could literally finish in 10 minutes or less. I’ve been better about it, to be fair to myself; but the habit comes out every once in a while and I always end up kicking myself in the ass for not already knowing any better.

What are you afraid to lose? Hmm...probably people, especially my friends. I’ve been starting to think more about this these days. My two best friends are in very good, committed relationships, and I know that one day they’ll have lives and families of their own, maybe even move out of the country. I’m finally acknowledging the fact that maybe I am afraid of getting left behind and ending up alone. Those thoughts make me sad, though, and I hate being stuck in feeling sad, so I try to shake them off and focus on my happiness in the present.

What’s one of the hardest decisions you’ve had to make? Agreeing to break up with Gabie. I never liked admitting defeat, so that was a particularly brutal afternoon.

Have you ever gave up on a love interest as they acted differently around other people? I’ve never been in this situation.

Do you think you’re ready for love? What does love even mean to you? I’m taking a break from it, actually. I was in a relationship that I put a lot of effort in for a long time, and I don’t mind focusing on myself for now especially considering I put myself in the backseat for the entirety of said relationship. I feel no need to jump into another relationship any time soon.

What was the last thing you turned down doing? Angela was showing me some shops that were starting to put up offers for the new BTS Hybe Insight photocards. Those photocards are only being given away to visitors who go to the new Hybe museum, and we didn’t want to technically pirate them, so we both chose not to buy. We can wait till we can travel to South Korea together and get the photocards for ourselves :)

Have you ever fell for someone who was clearly bad for you? Technically...yeah? She eventually ended up being bad for me, but I didn’t know it at the time.

Are you a party animal? No. I like attending parties, but I never want to be the center of attention.

Who are you the biggest fan of? My best friends.

When was the last time someone really let you down? I haven’t felt that disappointed in anyone in a while. 

What song can you not help but dance to? Mic Drop.

You’re DJ for the night - first track to get everyone going? ...Now that I mentioned it, Mic Drop. The Steve Aoki remix in particular. Sorry folks, y’all are getting K-Pop tonight.

Have you ever been too scared to tell someone how you felt about them? Yes.

Where do you feel the most inspired and creative? Erm, never? I never feel creative. But when it comes to being inspired, I usually feel it when I have one-on-one talks with Bea. She schedules a brief talk with me once every few months just to catch up and ask me how I’m doing, work-wise and growth-wise. I find that it really helps and I always exit the call wanting to perform better at work.

Have you ever been hit on by a pushy person? No.

When’s the last time you met someone for a coffee? I’ve never done that.

Describe the ideal man or woman for you: Kim Taehyung. That man is doing a stupid great job ruining everyone else for me.

What place in nature would you love to visit one day? Somewhere with auroras.

What accent do you find attractive? Like I’ve said on previous answers, I like Florence Pugh’s accent, whatever it is. I could listen to it all day.

What do you think you’re really good at? I’ve always loved writing and I’m pretty confident in my skills.

Do you have something you’d like to tell someone right now? I know Jo is going through a breakup and I want to reach out and share a few reassuring words, but I’m not very good at that kind of stuff. And since she isn’t initiating, it might mean she wants her own space for now too.

Have you ever had feelings for a friends partner? Never.

What career would you love to pursue: I’m more than okay with my current field. But had things turned out differently, I’d most likely be taking up law.

What was the biggest lies you’ve told? I never like lying so I try to make the ones I make as trivial as possible.

How can you tell if someone loves you? Idk for the most part I believe people have different love languages, so expression is always different for everyone. I don’t wait for people to act a certain way for me to deduce that they love me.

What’s one of your fondest memories? Front row at a Paramore concert, 2017. I went alone and danced without a care in the world and sang along to every song, and it was one of the nicest couple hours of my life.

What’s your favourite thing to do that doesn’t cost much? Taking surveys is literally free.

What do you feel unnecessarily judged for? I feel like I would be judged for having an entire blog just for surveys, which is exactly why I don’t share about this hobby with anyone. Not even my ex knew about it until much later on in our relationship.

What are you proud of yourself for? Still being here is a big thing.

What relaxes you after a busy day? As is pretty obvious already at this point, BTS. I like looking for funny compilations or interviews of theirs to watch to de-stress.

Have you ever known someone who suffered from drug addiction? Nope. Not that I know of, at least.

Why did your last relationship end? She wasn’t in it anymore.

Who do you have a crush on? Taehyung :/

When was the last time you stayed up all night? I was up until 4 AM earlier, if that counts. I don’t really do entire all-nighters anymore; latest I can do is either 4 or 5 AM.

Have you ever been someone’s rebound? No.

What would you fight LTR for the right to do? I don’t know what that is or who they are.

When did you last apologise? What was it for and was it accepted? Some work stuff came up today and it was something I needed to ask my manager about, so I had to message her. I apologized profusely before and after my main message since it’s a weekend and I HATE making my co-workers think about work on weekends, but the matter was a little urgent and it couldn’t wait. But eventually the thing got sorted out, so I followed up with a message asking her to disregard my question, and I sent her a heart GIF as well.

Have you ever been to Cuba? I haven’t, but I’d like to visit.

What do you feel positive about? That I am most likely ordering Frankie’s tonight because I’m having a serious craving for spicy Korean wings that I can’t ignore anymore.

Do you know any Spanish? I’ve retained the words, sentences, and verb tenses I was able to learn when I was still training on Duolingo; and Filipino has a lot of Spanish influences, so I wouldn’t say I’m completely unfamiliar with Spanish. I wouldn’t be able to last a conversation, though.

If you could go on a road trip now, where’s you go? Continued from this morning. I’d probably just go back to Tagaytay. La Union could be a great road trip spot as well.

When in danger are you more fight or flight? Flight. What makes you irrationally angry? When people speak excessive Taglish, especially in a work setting. Most Filipinos are fluent in both, so I’d wish they’d pick one and stick to it. I find code-switching pretty unprofessional for the most part.

Do you feel self conscious about a certain body part? Sure.

Is there someone you’ll always be there for? If so, who? My best friends.

Have you been accused of being manipulative? Gab probably did a few times, but I barely remember those memories anymore.

What’s the most romantic thing someone has done for you? I literally can’t remember anymore.

What or who do you miss from your childhood? The ability to be carefree and the greater space to make mistakes.

Do you miss late night calls with a certain somrone? No, I hate calls.

What would you like to do again some time? Be able to go back to coffee shops.

What’s your least favourite season? Summer.

Do you know someone who’s ridiculously arrogant and entitled? A lot of boomers and older Gen X-ers.

Have you ever considered violence to solve your problem? No.

Who’s the best dancer you know? That I know in real life? Aubrey. Overall, Park Jimin.

What’s the best bit of advice you’ve received? I can’t seem to remember the exact same quote they gave me, but it was Andi telling me a few months ago not to rush my healing so I can avoid potentially harming myself in the process.

How good a swimmer are you? Not very good. I just like swimming leisurely.

What’s your favourite baby animal? Puppies and baby elephants.

What’s the best compliment you have received? It’s always nice to be told I’m strong.

What’s your favourite gemstone? Don’t have one.

Do you bounce back well when things go wrong or does it take a while? It takes a while, but I always get there eventually.

What’s an underrated colour/shade you really like? Not sure; the colors I tend to lean towards I think are pretty popular choices.

What insult or label would hurt you the most to recieve? Being told I’m useless or a burden.

How often do you notice the attractiveness of strangers? I rarely find strangers attractive.

Are you good at hiding your emotions? No, I practically wear them on my face.

Are you romantic? More than I’d like to admit.