#in order to get them to the point where they're willing to engage at a level where they actually take your feelings & words into account

[ikishima]

.

[vaguely-concerned]

I understand and agree with a lot of the frustrations about the shortcomings of Inquisition as a story. but sometimes when I hear people complain about the chosen one narrative in it I do want to just be like... you know it's a deconstruction of the concept more than anything, right. the inquisitor isn't actually chosen by anything except stumbling into the wrong (right?) room at the right (wrong?) time because they like, heard a noise or whatever. or if you think they are chosen, as many do in-universe, that's something you have to take on faith, the maker-or-whoever moves in mysterious ways indeed-style. the Inquisitor isn't actually a Destined Chosen One, they're a Just Some Guy in a fancy hat, self-delusions of grandeur to taste as you'd prefer.

a running thread that goes through all of the personal quests of the companions is the concept of a comforting lie vs. an uncomfortable truth, upholding old corrupt structures vs. disrupting them, and the role of faith in navigating that. (blackwall the warden vs. thom rainier the liar and murderer. hissrad vs. the iron bull, or is that the other way around? cassandra and the seekers -- do we tell the truth about what we find, even if it means dismantling the old order of the world? and so on.) and your inquisitor IS at the same time a comforting lie (a necessary one, in dark times? the game seems to ask) and an uncomfortable truth (we are the result of random fickle chance, no protective hand is held over the universe, it's on us to make a better world because the maker sure as hell won't lift a divine finger to help anyone, should he against all odds exist). faith wielded for political power... where's the point that it crosses the line into ugliness? is it before it even begins? what's the alternative? will anyone listen to the truth, if you tell it?

interesting how you also get a mix of companion agency in this -- you have characters like dorian who ALWAYS choose one side of the comforting lie vs. uncomfortable truth dichotomy. he will always make up his own mind to go back to tevinter and try to dismantle the corruption of the old system no matter what you say, or how you try to influence him. meanwhile iron bull is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum -- so psychologically trapped and mangled, caught in an impossible spiritual catch-22, that his sense of identity is left entirely to you and your mercy. you cannot change dorian in any way that matters; you can be his friend or not, support him or not, but he is whole no matter what. you are given incredible and potentially destructive-to-him power over bull's soul. it's really cool (and heartbreaking) to think about.

this is a game about how history will eat you even while you're still alive, and shape you into whatever image it pleases to serve it, and for all your incredible power right now you are powerless in the face of the gravitational force of time -- of more than time, of History. you won't recognize yourself in what History will make of you, because you belong to it now. you don't belong to yourself anymore and you never will again. the further you were from what it needs from you to begin with, the more you will find yourself distorted in its funhouse mirror. (why hello there inquisitor ameridan, same hat!)

and to me this is so much the core of what Dragon Age is about right from the Origins days -- how and by whom history gets written, the inherent unreliable narration of it all. I hope you like stories, Inquisitor. You are one now.

I do think it's probably still the weakest of the games narratively, and it's hampered by its structure and bloated systems. but I also find it disingenous to say that there's nothing deeper or actually interesting going on with it, thematically. if you're willing to engage with it there is Some Real Shit going on under the high fantasy-tinted surface.

[qqueenofhades]

It's definitely a refusal to engage with or truly understand politics. I'm 24, I was in middle school during Obama's second term and 17 in 2016, and I feel like a lot of my peers just continue to be appalled at how bad things have gotten with the Republicans and why Democrats can't do anything to stop it. What's missing from their understanding is how long it took for the Republicans to get here. It didn't start in 2016. They worked for decades to do all the nightmarish shit they're doing now, and Democrats just haven't been able to do the same (because people refuse to vote consistently and give them the power to do those things). I feel like that's where the "both sides are the same" bullshit comes from - the idea that if the Dems wanted to stop the GOP, they would. It's a fundamental misunderstanding of how anything works, and often relies on downplaying how bad the Republicans actually are in order to support their 'Dems are just as bad' stance.

Things did get catastrophically worse when Trump was elected, and he broke things way more than they ever had been, but he doesn't exist in a vacuum and it took the Republicans a lot of fucking work for him to do what he did. The only way the Dems can counteract that is by having a party of people willing to put in a similar level of work, and that requires understanding our structures and how things work (executive orders are only temporary fixes and actual legislation takes time, compromise, and work), and a lot of these people just aren't willing to do it.

The thing is, yes, I absolutely do get the feeling that everything is terrible and we are doomed. I went through it when GWB was re-elected in 2004 and then again in 2008, worrying about whether Obama would get elected and end that particular run of Republican-induced misery (when John McCain looks like a fucking saint compared to the GOP candidates we are being offered now), and obviously plumbed the depths of despair in 2016 with Trump. But I don't remember ever thinking that I should just give up trying, stop voting, or any of that, and I don't think it was because I was some kind of special person who was just so tenacious. I obviously have not been a teenager in the present era and yes, that means I have different views on things from the next generation, but also: this has always happened. Moments of total political despair and feeling that everything is fucked are also not a new thing. We are going through it with Trumpism, the previous generation went through it with Reagan/Thatcher, the previous previous generation went through it with Nixon/Vietnam, the previous etc generation went through it with the Cold War, the previous etc. etc. generation went through it with World War II -- and so forth. There has never been any one point when everything was great and there was no work left to be done, because, y'know. That is not how either history or human nature works.

Hence, that is why I'm trying to figure out what in the fuck is going on right now, and whether it's just social media that have made things so bad (entirely possible). Critical thinking is a shambles, yes, but that's not necessarily something young people have chosen for themselves. The current world is a late-stage capitalist dystopia run by four or five trillionaire oligarch cartels and corporations, and obviously public education, basic civic responsibility, the teaching of any "controversial" history, and everything else that might threaten that setup has been systematically and methodically dismantled, politicized, or so infiltrated with false information that it's basically useless. That in itself is not young people's fault. They have genuinely been dealt a terrible hand in many ways, and I don't blame them for being angry about it. I too am angry about it! I do question, however, when the overwhelming sentiment became "well we should just give up and let the bad guys win, either because it's too much work to change it or because that will spark the Great Revolution and that's the only way to fix things ever, and doing anything else at all in the meantime is wrong."

Once again: I do not blame young people for being angry at the shitty situation they are currently facing. I do not blame young people for being disillusioned with the system and thinking that it can't solve everything at once. But yet again: there has never been any government, country, or organization in the history of ever anything everywhere that was able to do that, and the ones that tried, or insisted that they could do it, were infamously murderous bloodbaths, because breaking society (even with all its flaws) into a thousand pieces and thinking this will make My Preferred Ideological Utopia Now Appear is probably the deadliest belief in all of time and space. The world is flawed and has been for all time because humans are flawed and probably will be for all time. Being a grownup requires coming to an understanding of that fact and seeing what you can do in spite of that. People in every era have had gaps and biases and blind spots and other things that hobbled their understanding or made their efforts for change less perfect or complete than they would have wanted in an ideal world, and they have had to move past those anyway. The current generation is no different. Not to sound like a boomer, but even despite the mess they've been faced with, they need to figure out how to engage with it anyway and not just completely absolve responsibility because they can't fix it all at once. Which I don't think most young people do! There are plenty of them who really do get it and are engaged and idealistic and working for good change, and that's great! It's just the other part that worries me, and which is not as small as we would like to think.

And yes, part of this is just flat-out bad information and the stubborn lack of any desire to change it if it conflicts with pre-existing beliefs. (This is by no means exclusive to young people of this current generation, as it's another bad habit of humanity, but yes.) In the aforementioned "you're driving young leftists away :(" ask I got yesterday, there were also plenty of dubious and just-flat-wrong claims, such as that Democrats keep moving to the right "especially economically." That is just not true. In the last four years, the Democrats have moved the most economically leftward in all of American history and have finally and flatly rejected the Great Reagonomics Myth. Just because Clinton did Reagonomics-lite in the '90s (when most of the current generation of Online Leftists weren't even born), that is thirty years ago and in wildly different circumstances. These things are not difficult to look up. Do it. Try to educate yourself, even if the system doesn't want to do it. You can't just throw up your hands and insist that nobody taught you, so how could you know??? Put that "instant access to all of human history and knowledge" to use, even just a little. It'll be good for you!

Likewise, there was also the anon's befuddling insistence that I was "patronizing" or "shaming" anyone "further left than Biden," which reflects their apparent feeling that telling people to vote for Biden is a "personal attack" on their cherished beliefs, or whatever. I'm unsure how many times we have to keep repeating that voting for a candidate does not mean you are canonizing all their beliefs exactly as your own, and that it's just one tool to do the bare minimum to not live in a fucking fascist theocratic dictatorship, but yeah. I can guarantee you that I personally am well left of Biden. I can guarantee you that most people on Tumblr voting for Biden are probably well left of him as well. That does not negate the fact that Biden is the most progressive president America has ever had, regardless of how much Online Leftists shriek otherwise. It also does not negate the fact that this is by no means true of America as a whole (witness the large faction that still thinks Biden is a godless far-left evil socialist). It does not negate the many complex historical, political, social, cultural, religious, racial, etc reasons that have collided to produce the America where this is the case. Therefore, if I do not want to live in a society ruled by Trump and his orange Nazi minions, which is the case due to how badly the last 10 years have been fucked up, I will use the tool of voting for Biden! He can be successfully pressured to create positive change in the direction that I would like! Trump cannot and will not under any circumstances, regardless of the wild fantasies that suddenly he will transform into a perfect progressive on Gaza or whatever other issue! THIS IS NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT!!!!!!!

Anyway. All of this is obviously complicated. Obviously things are bad and frightening and we want a solution that fixes all of it at once, instead of slowly, badly, and piecemeal. But as I said: that has never, not once, been the case in all of history, and we know what happens when people and/or governments with delusions of psychopathic grandeur try to do it. We do not want the "Final Solution" (which is infamous as what Hitler literally called the Holocaust). We do, in fact, want the careful step by step, we want things to get better and not just explode in a mountain of nihilistic doom, and that does take work, from everyone. So unfortunately, there is no real choice except to do it.

[tangibletechnomancy]

Neural Nets, Walled Gardens, and Positive Vibes Only

the crystal spire at the center of the techno-utopian walled garden

Anyone who knows or even just follows me knows that as much as I love neural nets, I'm far from being a fan of AI as a corporate fad. Despite this, I am willing to use big-name fad-chasing tools...sometimes, particularly on a free basis. My reasons for this are twofold:

Many people don't realize this, but these tools are more expensive for the companies to operate than they earn from increased interest in the technology. Using many of these free tools can, in fact, be the opposite of "support" at this time. Corporate AI is dying, use it to kill it faster!

You can't give a full, educated critique of something's flaws and failings without engaging with it yourself, and I fully intend to rip Dall-E 3, or more accurately the companies behind it, a whole new asshole - so I want it to be a fair, nuanced, and most importantly personally informed new asshole.

Now, much has already been said about the biases inherent to current AI models. This isn't a problem exclusive to closed-source corporate models; any model is only as good as its dataset, and it turns out that people across the whole wide internet are...pretty biased. Most major models right now, trained primarily on the English-language internet, present a very western point of view - treating young conventionally attractive white people as a default at best, and presenting blatantly misinformative stereotypes at worst. While awareness of the issue can turn it into a valuable tool to study those biases and how they intertwine, the marketing and hype around AI combined with the popular idea that computers can't possibly be biased tends to make it so they're likely to perpetuate them instead.

This problem only gets magnified when introduced to my mortal enemy-

If I never see this FUCKING dog again it will be too soon-

Content filters.

Theoretically, content filters exist to prevent some of the worst-faith uses of AI - deepfakes, true plagiarism and forgery, sexual exploitation, and more. In practice, many of them block anything that can be remotely construed as potentially sexual, violent, or even negative in any way. Frequently banned subjects include artistic nudity or even partial nudity, fight scenes, anything even remotely adjacent to horror, and still more.

The problems with this expand fractally.

While the belief that AI is capable of supplanting all other art forms, let alone should do so, is...far less widespread among its users than the more reactionary subset of its critics seem to believe (and in fact arguably less common among AI users than non-users in the first place; see again: you cannot give a full, educated critique of something's failings without engaging with it yourself), it's not nonexistent - and the business majors who have rarely if ever engaged with other forms of art, who make up a good percentage of the executives of these companies, often do fall on that side, or at least claim to in order to make more sales (but let's keep the lid on that can of worms for now).

When this ties to existing online censorship issues, such as a billionaire manchild taking over Twitter to "help humanity" (read: boost US far-right voices and promote and/or redefine hate speech), or arcane algorithms on TikTok determining what to boost and deboost leading to proliferation of neologisms to soften and obfuscate "sensitive" subjects (of which "unalive" is frequently considered emblematic), including such horrible, traumatizing things as...the existence of fat people, disabled people, and queer people (where the censorship is claimed to be for their benefit, no less!), the potential impact is apparent: while the end goal is impossible, in part because AI is not, in fact, capable of supplanting all other forms of art, what we're seeing is yet another part of a continuing, ever more aggressive push for sanitizing what kinds of ideas people can express at all, with the law looking to only make it worse rather than better through bills such as KOSA (which you can sign a petition against here).

And just like the other forms of censorship before and alongside it, AI content filtering targets the most vulnerable in society far more readily than it targets those looking to harm them. The filters have no idea what makes something an expression of a marginalized identity vs. what makes it a derogatory statement against that group, or an attempt at creating superficially safe-for-work fetish art - so, they frequently err on the side of removing anything uncertain. Boys in skirts and dresses are frequently blocked, presumably because they're taken for fetish art. Results of prompts about sadness or loneliness are frequently blocked, presumably because they may promote self harm, somehow. In my (admittedly limited) experiment, attempts at generating dark-skinned characters were blocked more frequently than attempts at generating light-skinned ones, presumably because the filter decided that it was racist to [checks notes] ...acknowledge that a character has a different skin tone than the default white characters it wanted to give me. Facial and limb differences are often either erased from results, or blocked presumably on suspicion of "violent content".

But note that I say "presumably" - the error message doesn't say on what grounds the detected images are "unsafe". Users are left only to speculate on what grounds we're being warned.

But what makes censorship of AI generated work even more alarming, in the context of the executive belief that it can render all other art forms obsolete, is that other forms of censorship only target where a person can say such earth-shaking, controversial things as "I am disabled and I like existing" or "I am happy being queer" or "mental health is important" or "I survived a violent crime" - you can be prevented from posting it on TikTok, but not from saying it to a friend next to you, let alone your therapist. AI content filtering, on the other hand, aims to prevent you from expressing it at all.

This becomes particularly alarming when you recall one of the most valuable use cases for AI generation: enabling disabled people to express themselves more clearly, or in new forms. Most people can find other workarounds in the form of more conventional, manual modes of expression, sure, but no amount of desperation can reverse hand paralysis that prevents a person from holding a pen, nor a traumatic brain injury or mental disability that blocks them from speaking or writing in a way that's easy to understand. And who is one of the most frequently censored groups? Disabled people.

So, my question to Bing and OpenAI is this: in what FUCKING universe is banning me from expressing my very existence "protecting" me?

Bad dog! Stop breaking my shit and get the FUCK out of my way!

Generated as a gift for a friend who was even more frustrated with that FUCKING dog than I was

All images - except the FUCKING dog - generated with Dall-E 3 via Bing Image Creator, under the Code of Ethics of Are We Art Yet?

[anxiousgaypanicking]

Tail

Moceit (Patton x Janus) Hypnovember 2020 Day Fourteen: Tail Warnings: hypnosis, pet play, plugs, barking, blowjobs, humping, crying

Though Janus's eyes look as though they're focused on the TV in front of him, he's truthfully staring at Patton in his peripheral. As some generic host drones on and on on the screen, Janus pats his hand against his thigh, mostly just a subconscious action. 

He'd been doing it for the past few minutes, but had only recently realized Patton was staring at him. Staring at his hand. 

He was doing it noticeably, too, head turned fully to look at Janus. While Janus was good at being subtle, Patton absolutely was not, and so Janus seized the opportunity to observe his strange behavior. Patton was the one who'd turned this (otherwise uninteresting) show on; why would he pay more attention to Janus's hand than an engaging television series? 

Finally, as the show goes to commercial, Janus turns to Patton, who's face flushes as his eyes dart up to meet Janus's. 

"Oh!" Patton exclaims, as though he's been caught doing something he's not supposed to, despite Janus having said naught. "Sorry." 

Janus raises an eyebrow. "For what?" 

That has Patton closing his lips immediately, and turning to look at the television. He shrugs instead of answering, but that only furthers Janus's curiosity. As Janus hits his palm against his thigh again, Patton's head is immediately whipping towards him once more. 

That has Janus humming in amusement. "Do you want to sit on my lap or something?" 

His playful comment only worsens Patton's flush, who stammers over an answer before his hands come to play with the sleeves of his cardigan. Patton reacts like Janus patting his lap is an invitation, in such a way that Janus equates him to a cute puppy, though that though additionally stems from just how embarrassed Patton seems to be at his own actions, like they're involuntary. 

Janus doesn't even bother to hide his amusement, a grin spreading across his face. After a few moments of Patton's flustered silence, Janus playfully murmurs "you know, typically, when someone asks a question, they expect an answer."

"Sorry," Patton squeaks.

Janus chuckles. "Is your attention truly so easily captured by someone patting their thigh? How cute."

Patton stumbles in response, unsure how to answer. Luckily, Janus keeps talking, giving him little opportunity to respond.

"Patting your lap is commonly how one would get the attention of some yappy little puppy! Patting at their thighs, baby talking the thing." Janus hums, glancing at the television, before looking back at Patton. "Honestly, if there was a cute little dog around, I'd be a lot more entertained with it than with whatever's on TV right now."

Janus motions to the slop shining over their screen.

"Neither of us are paying much attention to it, anyway."

In order to emphasize this point, Janus softly drums on his thighs with the palms of his hands, this time directly staring at Patton. Teasingly, Janus asks "what urges are plaguing your mind right now, love?" smirking slightly, he's quick to add "and would you like to act on them?"

He's overly confident in his words, despite the fact it's stemming from a rather intense bit of speculation, considering Patton hasn't implied in the slightest he'd be willing to do something so forward.

And admittedly, Patton's initial response has Janus briefly doubting his assumption, wondering if he perhaps overstepped. He's staring at Janus, mouth agape, unsure where to focus his gaze, and so his eyes flicker nervously around the room.

And yet, rather surprisingly, Patton scoots closer after a few moments, pausing just short of Janus's thighs. It has Janus letting out a closed mouth chuckle, before he teasingly asks "do you need help, love?" already moving to slide his hands around Patton's waist, and with a bit of effort guide Patton onto his lap. Patton's hands quickly find and grasp Janus's shoulders, with his legs straddling Janus's thighs.

Janus's hands rub over Patton's pudgy stomach, before sliding up his sides. He cocks his head to the side, grinning at Patton. "Are you satisfied now?" he inquires, though his words are overly playful. "I could tell you'd been wanting to sit in my lap for the past fifteen minutes, at least."

Patton chews his inner cheek, before softly mumbling "yeah."

Janus lets out a pleased hum, continuing to rub over Patton's stiff body, before he murmurs "you're like a puppy." And when Patton perks up, overly interested in the comparison, Janus continues. "A dumb puppy," he clarifies, pushing his knuckles teasingly against Patton's temple, "who just wants to sit on his owner's lap, and be held. Do you want to be pet, too?"

Janus's hands stop their rubbing, awaiting Patton's answer.

But Patton just shifts his position on Janus's lap, avoiding eye contact as he replies "no! No, of course not. That's-" Patton bites his bottom lip, before taking in a deep breath, and turning to face Janus fully. "You're being silly. I think... I think I just want affection right now. Normal, standard affection."

Smile falling, Janus gives Patton a rather dramatic pout at the answer. "What a shame," he sighs, leaning back against the couch cushions; his hands are still on Patton's hips. "Having a puppy around to pet would entertain me quite a bit." Janus then bitterly flicks his wrist towards the TV. "Much more than whatever's on the tele."

"You can change the show if you don't like it," Patton quickly insists, but Janus just squeezes Patton's waist firmly in turn.

"There isn't any way I could possibly reach the remote now," Janus argues, though he holds Patton tight enough that Patton couldn't slide off of Janus even if he tried. "Besides, petting a puppy sounds way more fun than watching TV. And I'm lucky to have a rather cute puppy right in front of me! You are a cute puppy, right?"

Patton hides his face, attempting to obscure his bright red cheeks.

Janus ignores his embarrassment, and keeps speaking. "The main type of affection puppies receive is petting, love. It's the type of affection a puppy like you would crave. But... if you don't want that, that's fine by me."

Janus shrugs, and then shifts to get comfortable, before dropping his hands away from Patton's body.

He lets Patton just sit there for a moment, while Janus leans partially to the side in order to act like he's watching television, even though the show was in fact incredibly boring. However, Patton shifting around on his lap at the sudden loss of attention is anything but, and Janus has to bite back a grin when a whimper slips past Patton's lips.

"Fine," Patton finally says, rather meekly. He's playing with his fingers. "If... if you really want to, then I guess you can... I guess you can pet me."

He struggles to say it, but his eventual admission (and subtle shift of the blame from his own wants to Janus's) are incredibly cute, and so Janus lets it slide.

Leaning closer to Patton, Janus's hands plant themselves back on Patton's waist, and pets over his body a lot more sensually than before. His hands rub over Patton's ribs, around his back, and then over his waist. With his hands around Patton's midsection, Janus pulls Patton closer, until they're pressed chest-to-chest. Then, his hands are sliding down further, caressing his lower back and upper ass, before his palms circle around to Patton's spread thighs. 

Janus is confident with all of his touches, which further encourages Patton to avoid meeting Janus's eyes, even though he's very noticeably enjoying himself as Janus feels him up. And he lets himself be touched casually for a bit. That is, until Janus is leaning his head against Patton's soft chest, tilting his face upwards with knowing eyes. His hands still against Patton's legs, and a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Whispering, Janus says "I know you like this, but... I have a feeling you want a little more."

Janus very lightly squeezes at Patton's thighs, pushing his thumbs slowly into the fat, and rubbing deep, firm circles into his legs. "Lucky for you," he continues, "I have a wonderful idea. Would you like to hear it?"

Patton's still visibly flushed, especially at Janus's implications that he himself might want more (which is an overly accurate assessment), but he slowly nods his head.

He squeaks when Janus finally runs his hand over his crotch in turn, teasing the front of Patton's khaki pants and rubbing over what is obviously the start of an erection. While touching him so lewdly, Janus insists "I know how to turn you into a proper puppy. Sure, you're acting like one, but you don't look the part."

Janus suddenly squeezes Patton's bulge, making Patton gasp and moan as his fingers curl around Janus's shoulders.

"And once you're nothing but a cute, dumb pup, I'll get to spend all day taking care of you," which are words Janus emphasizes by rubbing more harshly over Patton's front, making Patton buck his hips as he tries to rock his clothed cock into Janus's hand. "Would that be something you'd enjoy, my dear?"

"Yes!" Patton shudders, rolling his hips against Janus's palm. "Please!" 

With a rather enthusiastic verbal agreement, Janus has no qualms in pushing Patton off his lap, and standing up, pulling Patton up off the couch before releasing him and beginning to walk towards his room. And when Patton doesn't immediately follow, Janus turns to face him.

With an amused look on his face, Janus pats his thighs, saying "come on, boy. Aren't you excited to come with me? Excited to get a nice treat?"

Patton visibly shivers, but quickly shuffles forward, until he's at Janus's side, and following him obediently to his room, his face bright red. As they walk - both of them fast-paced and thrilled in their own right - Janus praises Patton, offering soft compliments such as "what a good puppy!" and "such a good listener," which has Patton tugging at the collar of his shirt, feeling as though he might start panting if Janus is any more casual with this. 

Once they're in Janus's room, the door is being pushed shut, and Janus is already moving towards his closet.

"Be a good boy and strip for me, won't you?" Janus asks, as he sifts through his closet, luckily finding a headband with attached puppy ears and a tail plug - which he's been keeping on-hand "just in case" - as well as a thick collar.

Patton undoes his clothes slowly, but manages to get fully nude by the time Janus turns back to him, arms full of accessories. As Janus lays them on the mattress, he guides Patton to sit on the edge of his bed beside them, and praises Patton for being so obedient when he does.

Patton's thighs press together as Janus lifts the headband first and foremost, and turns it side-to-side to show Patton how the cute, blonde puppy ears move.

He slides them into Patton's hair, careful not to accidentally pull and hurt him, until the band is nestled perfectly atop Patton's hair. Janus's fingers then pet through Patton's locks, rousing his curls until the headband itself looks mostly hidden, and the two ears look like they're sprouting from Patton's own head. Then, he's taking the collar and clamping it around Patton's neck, with a nice, long leash being hooked on one of the loops quickly after.

Janus gives it a firm tug, Patton being yanked forward, before the leash is dropped and Janus is smiling, satisfied with the way Patton moans at the brief choking sensation.

"Flip yourself over for me, love," Janus then instructs him, as he grabs some lube from his nightstand. "Bend yourself over the bed."

Doing as he's told - like a good puppy would - Patton turns over, his feet hitting the floor and his chest hitting the sheets. As he presses his body into the bed, the collar presses into his neck, making him while. But what really excites him is when Janus's hands squeeze his ass, before one hand gropes and spreads his cheeks apart, while Janus's fingers - coated with an excess amount of lube - presses against his hole.

Janus is teasing at first, circling his index finger around Patton's entrance, before slowly pushing his pointer and middle finger in, scissoring Patton slowly and carefully.

Patton moans as he feels Janus's fingers curl inside of him, and gasps loudly when the tips of his fingers suddenly push against his prostate. He goes to beg for more, but Janus is already giving it to him before he can, slowly thrusting his fingers against that spot while Patton's cock rubs against the side of the bed.

"Please," Patton moans, as he grips the mattress tightly, drooling when Janus adds a third finger, stretching Patton open.

But after just another minute or two, Janus's fingers are slipping out. Patton whines at the sudden loss, and opens his mouth to complain, only to suddenly feel a plug be pushed inside of him moments later, and fur brush against his ass.

Janus leans over him, jostling the plug as he both rubs Patton's waist, and pets through his hair. "There," he proclaims, sounding overly proud. "Now you look like a proper puppy. Isn't this wonderful?" 

It's hard for Patton to look at Janus while feeling overwhelmed with humiliation, but he still feels compelled to react to Janus's question, and so nods his head. 

This is wonderful, albeit embarrassing.

He gasps a little out of surprise when Janus presses his hand firmly against Patton's back and pushes his chest farther into the bed, humming in thought for a moment before pulling back and stating "hm. This simply won't do."

As his hands slide away from Patton's body, Patton is turning his head to face Janus, worriedly asking "what's wrong?"

His voice is trembling, revealing his desperation. He doesn't want this to stop - he feels more aroused than he's ever felt in his life! - but Janus's tone is making him nervous. He briefly worries if he's messing this up somehow, especially as Janus stares at his exposed body, as if evaluating him.

"You're so, so close to being the perfect puppy, but you're still a little... off," Janus explains, tapping at his chin. His eyes are narrow as he scans over Patton's back, and meets his eyes briefly, before Janus is maneuvering Patton onto his back instead, chuckling in amusement at the way Patton immediately squeezes his thighs shut to hide his hard cock. This new position - with his hips further up on the bed - causes the plug inside of him to shift around, making Patton whimper.

Patton's rush to hide his body though has Janus suddenly lighting up, and going "this is what I mean! A proper puppy would just pant and drool-" Janus slides between Patton's legs and slowly pushes them apart "-and keep their legs spread like a good mutt. But you're held back by that silly mind of yours, which still insists you're a human with pride and dignity." 

Janus runs his hand up Patton's stomach. "Will you even bark for me, love? Go on. Bark."

Face going bright red at the command, Patton can only muster a squeak, being silenced by his own humiliation. He can't bark for Janus, regardless of how hot the command is. It's too embarrassing! So, instead, he murmurs a soft "sorry! I'm sorry. I can't."

He covers his face with his hands, while Janus rubs over Patton's stomach softly, attempting to silently comfort him. Then his hands slide up further, and he pulls Patton's hands away in order for Janus to kiss his lips.

"I'll help you," Janus assures him, a smirk playing on his lips. "I'll ease you into becoming a perfect, obedient puppy, but you have to trust me."

"Okay," Patton whispers.

Janus helps him sit up. "Relax, love. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Trust me. Trust me. Do you want me to help you, Patton? Would you like me to turn into a shameless, obedient pup?"

Patton nods, but Janus just chuckles.

"Speak, puppy. Yes or no."

"Yes. Yes, please," Patton stammers, and in turn has his chin tilted up by Janus, enough so that he meets Janus's eyes. And spirals activate within Janus's irises.

They swirl and spin in such a mesmerizing way, captivating Patton entirely and causing him to breathe in heavily, and breathe until his chest feels empty. Janus guides him to relax further, telling him his body is so heavy; so heavy he can hardly move. His brain is empty and open, waiting to be filled by Janus's words. And once Patton's dizzy and drooling, Janus blinks away the spirals in his eyes, and rummages around for the plug's remote. One he didn't tell Patton about, as to not spoil the surprise.

Without hesitation, he's suddenly turning the plug to the highest setting.

Patton's body arches, a sluggish, loud moan spilling from his lips, but he's been walked so deep into a trance that he's luckily not broken out of it. Janus would pat himself on the back for his trancing skills if he wasn't already so enraptured by Patton's blank, mindless stare, and his cute, pleasured jerks as the plug buzzes inside of him. 

"I'm going to take care of you," Janus coos, thumbing away a trail of spit that's leaking steadily from Patton's mouth. "You'll be a proper, silly pet. Are you excited?"

He's not surprised when Patton doesn't answer with anything other than a tired moan, gasping when Janus's finger rubs over Patton's slit, with his other hand slowly clicking the intensity of the vibrator down. Once it's to the midway point, Janus speaks once more.

"The higher the intensity of your cute little plug gets, the dumber you get. Do you understand that?" Janus lowers the vibrations lower, and lower, until they've nearly stopped completely. "Each time that buzzing gets more and more intense, more and more of your thoughts will slip away. Your shame will, too. You'll be an obedient, barking mutt after just a few rounds. Okay, puppy?"

Janus raises the intensity a bit, watching as Patton's eyes roll back into his head, before he adds "you won't have any embarrassment or inhibitions stopping your urge to hump and rut against the nearest surface. You're just a puppy; of course you want as much pleasure as possible!" The vibrator speeds up, and suddenly Patton's hips buck, looking as though he's struggling to stay sitting up. "The only thoughts in your head are about how you're a good, cute puppy, and you love to obey your owner."

He flicks the vibrator up more, and watches Patton stupidly try to hump the air, cock straining for attention. 

Janus flicks the intensity up again, making Patton cry out as he's forced deeper and deeper into an obedient, shameless, puppy mindset. Then, the vibrations slow, until Patton's cock is leaking just as much as his mouth is.

Janus thumbs a bead of pre away from Patton's cock, and then holds his thumb in front of Patton's mouth.

"Lick, puppy," Janus commands him, and watches as Patton stupidly leans forward, taking Janus's finger into his mouth and sucking over it desperately, his tongue slobbering all over Janus's digit until Janus pulls it away. As a reward, his plug is turned up again, until it's at about a medium level. Enough to be noticeable, but not enough to overwhelm Patton sooner than Janus wishes to. After all, there's quite a lot he wants to do with Patton; it'd be a shame to have him overstimulated too early!

"Puppies love to be pet," Janus then says, cementing his words into Patton's brain. "They love to bark, they love to obey, they love to crawl and kneel and pant. And they love to be pet."

He then gently runs his hands up Patton's thighs, and is delighted when Patton's tongue rolls out of his mouth, a dumb smile on his face and his eyes nearly crossed. He happily pants at the touch and tries to lean into it. Moaning, Patton arches into Janus's hands as they caress his stomach, moaning in excitement as Janus's fingers brush over his body.

He feels so good, and that's all he cares about.

Not the drool dripping off his chin and onto his thighs, or the way he obediently keeps his legs spread to make sure Janus has more room to rub him everywhere, which Janus does. Janus slides his hand anywhere he can reach, cupping Patton's face, stroking his hair, groping his chest; Janus's palms glide anywhere but his cock. Then, he uses his hands to alter Patton's positions. He moves Patton fully onto the bed, and then onto his knees, with Janus wiggling his face mockingly once Patton is kneeling on the mattress.

As he brushes some of Patton's curls out of his face, Janus asks aloud "do you know how to do any tricks, love?"

As expected, the only response Janus gets is a mindless, drooling smile, and soft moans as Patton lightly fucks himself back on his plug. Janus can't help but admire just how cute Patton looks, but only appreciates the view for just a moment before going "speak, puppy. I want an answer."

He watches as the command takes a moment to register in Patton's mind, before Patton excitedly barks, not seeing anything remotely humiliating about it!

He's a puppy, and good puppies bark!

"Good boy!" Janus immediately praises him, scratching the underside of Patton's chin with two of his fingers. "You're so good. Do you know what good boys do when they're happy?" 

Patton looks a little confused at the question, not having any thoughts in his brain aside from what's already been put there, but his confusion just encourages Janus to sweetly call him "a silly boy," as he shakes his head back and forth with amusement.

"A good puppy wags their tail when they're excited," Janus generously explains. "Can you show me how you wag your tail, pup?"

Almost immediately, Patton is pushing more of his weight onto his arms in order to lift his hips up, and wiggles clumsily back and forth, enough to have the tail inside of him swaying side to side. He quickly falls into the rhythm of doing it and becomes more absent-minded and excited, moaning as he feels the plug jostle and shift inside of him. 

"Good boy," Janus coos, before he steps away. "Though, last I checked, pets aren't allowed on the furniture. And here you are, sitting on my bed! Silly mutt; you belong on the floor."

Janus pats his thigh, calling Patton to his side, and watching as Patton looks over the edge of the bed, before carefully sliding off of it, and landing on his knees on the floor. Eagerly, he crawls forward until he's seated before Janus's thighs. As a reward, Janus flicks the vibe up again, and watches as Patton cries out in pleasure, his head lolling dumbly to the side.

"Do you want a treat, puppy?" Janus then asks, already reaching to undo his zipper. "A treat for being so good? Bark for me; tell me you want a treat."

With drool streaming steadily down his chin, Patton barks, before smiling happily, feeling good when he obeys.

Janus pets through Patton's hair, whispering soft praises at him in a babying, almost mocking way, but Patton can only understand Janus's tone, and Janus seems happy, so Patton is happy. He pants as he's pet, while Janus works his pants down just enough to pull his cocks out.

He guides Patton closer by his hair, until Patton's sitting back on his calves in front of Janus's hard cocks. Patton stares at them, almost entranced, before cocking his head up at Janus and rubbing his hand over Janus's leg the same way a puppy would paw at someone's thigh. Janus chuckles at the impatience, but doesn't scold Patton for it, instead musing at his desperation.

However, after a few seconds of nothing, Patton leans forward to lick over them, giving into his arousal and instincts. This immediately gets him scolded though, as Janus pushes him back by his forehead.

"Bad puppy," Janus tsks, though softens a bit when Patton shrinks at the chastising. "You're not allowed to move without my permission. Good, obedient puppies listen to their owners. Don't you want to be a good, obedient puppy?"

Patton barks quietly at first, hips rolling against the floor, before barking louder with a mixture of apology and desperation, eyes struggling to stay focused up at Janus's face when all he wants to stare at is his treat.

Patton whimpers as Janus keeps his palm rested against his forehead, pouting as he stares at Janus's cocks, before looking up at Janus with wide eyes behind his circular frames. He attempts to push his nose against Janus's wrist to be affectionate, and when Janus pulls his hand away, Patton rubs his face against Janus's thigh instead, making cute whining noises as he does so. And Janus really can't resist him any longer.

So, he runs his hand down to Patton's collar, and grabs his leash, twisting it around his hand a few times until he's got a firm grip on it, and Patton's pulled close to him.

The tips of his cocks bump against Patton's mouth, teasing him. Antagonizing him. But Janus just softly counts down from three, before going "go ahead, puppy. Accept your treat," once he reaches "one." And Patton does, immediately rubbing his face against Janus's shaft like a whore. His tongue sloppily drags over the slits of his cocks, before he suckles on the tips of them, and then pulls away, a thin line of spit connecting his lips to Janus's cocks.

He crosses his eyes in order to stare up at Janus, panting happily with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Janus reaches his free hand over Patton's head, briefly scratching behind his faux puppy ears, before suddenly grabbing a fistful of Patton's hair and properly shoving one of his cocks into Patton's mouth. He lets the other drag across Patton's face, rubbing Patton's own spit back into his foreheads as beads of Janus's pre drip into his hair.

He winds up more of Patton's leash so that Patton doesn't have enough room to pull away, and makes Patton moan at the pleasant, tightening sensation around his neck, as well as the way Janus's cock feels pressing against his tongue and pushing deep into his throat.

It makes his already foggy head feel even fuzzier. He gags, but he's hardly aware of it, and doesn't bother trying to pull away in the slightest. Because he doesn't want to. He wants his treat. 

Patton’s messy and intense with his sucking, moaning when Janus guides him fully down, making him choke around the base of Janus’s cocks, nose pressed against Janus’s pelvis, before Janus loosens his grip on the leash and lets Patton pull away.

Once more, he has to push on Patton’s head to keep him from immediately going back down.

Patton whimpers and whines when he’s denied yet again, but Janus just chuckles before he’s grabbing both of his cocks with one hand.

“Can you be a good boy for me and take both?” Janus asks, watching Patton’s dumb brain slowly process the question. Patton blinks, audibly panting, before suddenly smiling wide and barking. He again tries to move forward, but this time Janus lets him, petting through Patton’s hair in order to praise him.

“You’re so cute, pup,” Janus coos, “so cute and eager and obedient."

He lets Patton move at his own pace, and quietly moans himself when Patton sloppily licks over his cocks once more, before beginning to slowly guide Janus’s cocks into his mouth as Janus holds them still. It makes his jaw ache, but he sucks anyway, moaning at the heavy weight pressing into his mouth and the way Janus’s pre tastes leaking down his throat.

He cries out messily when Janus turns his plug up even higher, and pushes his head further down Janus’s cocks, until they’re about halfway in his mouth. He gags, eyes welling up with tears.

Unable to get them past that point, Patton takes to pleasuring them with his tongue, moaning around them and making Janus sigh in pleasure in turn. He stays stroking through Patton’s hair as Patton chokes on his shafts, and listens as Patton tries to shift his hips and drive his plug further into him while simultaneously humping the air.

With the leash pressing into his palm, Janus suddenly gives it a light tug, urging Patton further down and watching him struggle.

“You’re such a dumb pup,” Janus muses, in a babying voice, which has Patton looking immediately more confident and excited. “You hardly know what’s going on! All you know is being stupid and happy, and sucking cock.” Patton’s tongue drags over the length of his shafts at the praise, hips jerking excitedly.

It doesn’t take long before Janus slides one of his legs between Patton’s thighs, giving him something proper to rut against. And Patton does, immediately grinding his own cock over Janus’s shin, and whining immediately at the friction. Janus moans quietly in turn due to the pleasant vibrations coursing up his cocks.

Patton’s own precome smears over Janus’s pants as his pelvis humps desperately against Janus’s leg, desperate for any little bit of pleasure while his mouth is used as Janus’s fleshlight. He’s sucking obscenely, and making even lewder noises while his cock rubs against Janus. He’s needy and horny, and stupid and obedient.

“Good puppy,” Janus moans, becoming less and less careful of Patton’s headband while petting through his sweaty hair. “Such a… such a pretty boy.”

Janus has to bring his knuckles to his mouth in order to muffle any particularly embarrassing noises that threaten to spill from his lips as a result of Patton’s messy, noisy sucking. He’s bobbing his head quickly, swallowing as much of Janus’s cocks down as possible, before sliding back the tip and drinking down Janus’s pre, and then sinking again.

His fists press against Janus’s legs to keep himself from clumsily falling this way or that.

With his eyes welling up with tears, Patton’s humping becomes more clumsy and intense, grinding his cock feverishly against Janus’s shin. He’s moaning repeatedly with each slide against Janus’s pants, and when Janus rubs his leg against Patton’s cock in turn, Patton just lets out a choked cry. A few tears spill down his red cheeks, as he feels his orgasm rapidly approaching.

Janus watches Patton’s face contort in pleasure around his cocks, a mixture of drool and tears smearing over his slick, sweaty face. Patton’s a mess, and it’s beautiful.

“Are you close, my puppy?”

Patton makes a slew of dirty, wet noises in response, no doubt affirming Janus’s question. He’s so hot and close, and his dumb little puppy mind just can’t hold himself back! He’s got no restraint. No humiliation. Nothing holding him back. So when Janus turns his plug vibrator up all the way, Patton feels overwhelmingly pleasured and mindless. He pushes himself down on Janus’s cocks, gagging himself once more, as his hips stutter against Janus’s leg. He comes quickly over Janus’s pants and his own thighs, making a mess of them both. His eyes roll back into his head as he humps sloppily throughout his orgasm, before he stills, more slowly bobbing his head as his foggy mind struggles to remember that his real treat is still yet to come. So, Janus graciously helps him out.

With his fingers curled in Patton’s hair, Janus takes to thrusting his cocks down Patton’s throat, making Patton choke as his mouth is used like a toy. But he likes it. He likes being good for his owner.

With quiet moans coming from his own mouth, Janus eventually shoves Patton’s face halfway down his cocks and comes down his throat, having to bite his bottom lip hard to keep his noises repressed. Patton chokes on his semen, but swallows down all that he can, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows twice, thrice, and then is allowed to pull away.

Panting, Patton slumps against the floor, watching with tired, foggy eyes as Janus tucks himself back into his pants, and then kneels down beside him.

Being careful of the come decorating Patton’s own stomach, Janus slides his hand along Patton’s front, petting over his body. “Good boy,” Janus whispers, soft voice echoing throughout the hot room. “You did so well. How do you feel?”

And in response, Patton barks.

[derpymule]

Hey, I don't appreciate you saying what I believe without even knowing me. I'm Ancom, I don't believe Capitalism provides anything but starvation wages for anyone except the rich fucks at the top. However I am pointing out that while we are *stuck* in this situation, stealing from another artist, not some corporation but an artist, is kind of shitty and taking what they could possibly need to survive.

By your logic, Disney could take someone's artwork, copy it and make it their own, with no payment, no need to do anything. Said artist could be surviving paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by, or not even surviving paycheck to paycheck, needing medical/financial help, and they're desperately trying to get commissions in order to get it. But hey it's just art and it didn't *steal* the original, right? So Disney shouldn't have to pay or do anything, right? That artist should just get fucked because they put all that work into something, and someone else came along, scooped it up, and just claimed it as their own. Personally I'd rather corporations like Disney didn't exist, but this is the world we currently exist in.

My counter is this: what exactly has the artist lost in this situation? Their followers will still know they made the work first, so there’s no loss there. People who would have found it will still find it, and if it’s posted online they’ll have proof to show those people that they made it first. It’s not like the copy entirely replaces the original, both exist and the original will remain exactly as popular as it would have been anyway.

But, there’s an added aspect. These days, if a corporation steals fanart or something, they get massively called out. The company takes a reputation hit and the original artist gains a massive following from the publicity the drama produces. This is, unequivocally, a loss for the copier and a win for the original artist, no copyright law needed. Now, why exactly do you think this wouldn’t happen in a world without copyright law? Companies may try to steal works, but they will basically always get called out on it. And even if they didn’t, they’re still introducing a large amount of people to that specific kind of art, people who may very well search for more of the same and find that original artist. And even if only something like 1 in 1000 people do this, those large corporations regularly get 10s-100s of thousands of engagements, which means 10s-100s of people redirected to this artist.

To follow up on that: is this not a huge gain for the community? If it’s art good enough that a large corporation is willing to associate it with themselves, that means it’s art that will enrich many people who see it. This would have been art only a few people saw, but now it will reach several orders of magnitude more people who may be inspired or encouraged. Imagine if the Mona Lisa, or any other incredibly influential work, had been made by a tiny artist with a negligible following. Would it not be far preferable if a larger artist, one capable of corralling a large audience, displayed it among their own work? Would that not be far, far better for the entire art world? Do you not wonder how much work, how many cultural shifts have been lost to time because a small artist was too protective of their work and so it died with them?

I should clarify, this still isn’t optimal. In the best case scenario, big corporations would take fan works and display them, but they would credit the original artist. And I personally believe this would be how it would generally go in a world without copyright law, out of fear of reputation hits if nothing else (it’s not like it costs corporations anything to credit). But my argument here is that even in the worst case scenario, where corporations “steal” art with absolute abandon, there is still no real loss to the original artist, in fact in most cases there is gain, and there is always gain for the wider community. There is literally zero downside to this scenario for anyone but the corporations themselves, who will lose their stranglehold over IP.

[mermaidsirennikita]

hi!! i love your recs so much. I’ve read so much more romance thanks to you and your commentary. If you don’t mind, can you rec me some historical romance books where the fmc and mmc are both proper sticks in the mud all about duty ‘they’d be more happy if they got laid’ energy? Usually only either is that (the fmcs even less so) I’m kinda over super slutty jovial type heroes and need more grumps but would also like a grumpy heroine too.

First off, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying more romance :D I hope that these recs help even more—I never mind giving them, I'm just sometimes slower to answer due to work or whatever.

My immediate thought was Judith McNaught's A Kingdom of Dreams. Jennifer isn't really a stick in the mud (she's rather fiery and rebellious) but neither wants to marry and does it purely out of duty. They actually have an initially flirty relationship (and sleep together before the engagement) BUT it then goes off the rails and they become proper enemies before they're forced to marry. Royce is mad about it, but the king ordered it soooooO! Jennifer tries to get out of it, but again, duty ultimately prevails.

The Chief by Monica McCarty comes to mind. Another one where they sleep together before marriage, but it's super brief and interrupted, and it happens purely to trap him (which she doesn't want, but her father does for political purposes). They're all about the duty. The sex actually IS physically good, but he withholds emotionally for a loooong time. The Recruit has similar vibes, but they also sleep together before marriage (see: a pattern lol) before hating each other, and they marry because he finds out she's pregnant and was trying to hide it from him. Neither wants to. But. DUTY. HONOR. It takes them a whiiiile to really warm up to each other again.

Enchanted by Elizabeth Lowell gives this vibe a LOT. But I will say, SA trauma figures heavily into the novel, and is why the heroine is so cold to the hero. It's a 90s romance, so he actually initially thinks she's lying about it as well when he finally finds out, BUT NOT IN A MAD WAY, in a "oh, she's trying to hide her besmirched honor from me, baby don't worry I don't care". When he finds out she's telling the truth.... Oh.... It hurts. But yeah, there's a lot of initial duty and then hurt/comfort that yields into passion. Untamed, the first book in the series, has shades of this as well—the heroine is sweeter versus being a stick in the mud, but the marriage is arranged and they're both about doing their duty. And he BADLY needs to loosen up (by sleeping with her) but he just wants an heir~.

If you're open to fantasy, I'd say The Hurricane Wars leads directly into this in the second book, Monsoon Rising, which isn't out until December. So you're left at the marriage point in the first book, but OOOOH I PROMISE THE SECOND IS BIIIG ON THIS if you're willing to wait a little bit longer. It's great.

Another fantasy option is The Winter King, wherein the hero conquers the heroine's kingdom (her brother killed! His entire family!) and they marry as part of a truce. Neither of 'em want to be there, there's some initial tenderness that gives way to mistrust, there's a HUGE heir pressure...

[lenievi]

TOS-tober day 6 (triumvirate prompts)

Favourite romantic duo?

My doorway to mckirk was the bar scene between them in Beyond. That was the first scene I saw from AOS, and only after that I watched the films in order. Because it was the their "final" AOS dynamic that I fell in love with, I feel it's only logical (lol) that I would also like everything about their TOS version because Beyond is the closest to TOS in feeling and characterization (even though I'd still say it's closer to TOS films rather than the show itself).

Yesterday, I said that the spones dynamic is the most engaging, and it is. But Kirk and McCoy's relationship has always been my favourite. It took me a bit to cross the line into the romantic nature of it, but I'm embracing it fully now~

When it comes to Kirk and McCoy in TOS, their relationship is the most quiet, in a way. Their most important scenes are at the beginning of s1, and when you don't get on that train early, it's easy to just miss it imho Not that there aren't good scenes as far as s3 (but they're mostly part of the triumvirate scenes, and Spock-McCoy overshadow the Kirk-McCoy angle), and then the films are just full of mckirk scenes, but at that point, I feel like most people are just focused elsewhere. The lack of fanworks doesn't help either, unfortunately.

But from early on, you know that Kirk and McCoy are close friends. McCoy approaches Kirk in a way no one else does, and Kirk lets his guard around McCoy down. He shares his doubts with him, and he's often willing to listen to McCoy without telling him he doesn't need to be psychoanalyzed. Even though there's literally no need in 90% of cases, Kirk will take McCoy with him on most missions. The show itself even acknowledged how neither of them were necessary in landing parties, but Kirk's need for exploration include McCoy around and giving McCoy opportunities to study things. Which is then again reflected in TMP, where Kirk just needs to have McCoy with him and pesters an admiral to grant him that need.

At times, McCoy sees Kirk through rose-coloured glasses and he cares about him so much, but he's also afraid that Jim will push himself (and also others) above his limit. Kirk is someone who is 100% dedicated to his job, his ship, and his crew, and McCoy is afraid that it will consume him one day - stress, duty, regulations, pressure. He's afraid that Spock will enable Jim to continue on a path of cold logic and forget himself. Destroy himself. And so he makes sure that he can always try and pull Jim back. And Jim? Jim would be lost without McCoy. (McCoy is so important to him.) He might not acknowledge it, but he needs to occasionally hear what McCoy has to say. McCoy is his connection with a world outside of "command" - McCoy specifically isn't welcome in that world. He can question Jim himself, but he can't question Kirk's command decisions. It's not his place.

They're both genuinely fond of each other and they understand each other. And they can hurt each other the most because they know where it would hurt the most. They have a strong emotional connection that isn't diluted too much by professionalism and the chain of command, but it's still an important part of their dynamic.

All of this works for me as a basis for them as a romantic ship where I can exaggerate some of it and mold it into something that I enjoy, that can be a little bit messed up. In a way, "I need you. Damn it, Bones, I need you. Badly." & McCoy killing a living being twice because of Kirk is an important part of the way I ship them.

But at the end of the day, I love Kirk and McCoy's relationship in any way, and I honestly don't know how to properly describe what their friendship in TOS means to me. And it's all thanks to one youtube video of their AOS versions having a drink together in a dimply lit bar.

[prompts]

[nerdygaymormon]

What are some strategies you'd suggest for someone who wants to remain active and engage with the church but isn't in the best ward?

I'm in a YSA college ward right now, and the last month of church lessons have been aggressively heteronormative and focusing in on needing marriage, dating, and sealings as an integral part of being a good member/getting into heaven. My bishop is even consistently asking about who I'm dating and pressing me to get my endowment. Someone in the ward even said that the 'think celestial' talk convinced them to start dating even though they didn't really want to because they needed to be sealed to get into heaven

I feel like I'm invisible and unwanted because I don't want to get married and couldn't get sealed to my anyways partner under the current rules. I want to continue engaging with church and finding ways to learn and feel the spirit, but at the moment I feel like I'm being aggressively pushed away.

There's a lot I like about Young Single Adult (YSA) wards--they give young adults many opportunities to serve, they generally are more open about queer topics & people, they often have a lot of social events which helps build community and belonging.

My experience with YSA wards is there's also a LOT of pressure to date & marry (male+female marriage only), and if someone isn't feeling like this is the time for them to get married then they're going to feel dissonance.

People can feel like it's not the right time for them to think of getting married for a variety of reasons. Maybe they're planning to serve a mission, maybe they're 19 and are working towards becoming independent and feeling like an adult, maybe they're focused on their education or their career, maybe they're queer and not ready to deal with the church issues that come with dating.

The YSA ward doesn't need to preach marriage in order for people to get married. Simply having a large number of single people and providing opportunities for them to socialize will naturally lead to many of them pairing off.

I've yet to hear of a YSA ward where there wasn't a lot of talk about future spouses & future families, temple marriages, lectures about dating instead of hanging out, engagements are announced at the pulpit, and messages on becoming the kind of person that we want to marry. It would be nice if church could be about coming closer to Christ and not about a push to get married. Officially YSA wards are for helping younger people come closer to Christ, but since people who get married have to leave the ward, that seems to underline that this is the main purpose of YSA wards.

As requested, here's a few strategies:

You are in charge of your own social and spiritual experiences and growth. You can be responsible for talking to others and getting to know them instead of waiting for them to come chat with you. You can be upfront that you're not currently looking to get married but do want meaningful friendships. If the bishop is saying he thinks you should do the endowment ceremony at the temple, tell him when you're ready to pursue that opportunity you'll let him know.

Use church as an opportunity to lift others. One thing that always strikes me when I read about Jesus' interactions with the marginalized (women, foreigners, the ill & mentally challenged, people without official power in the church or without much social standing) is their interactions with Him uplifted them. Help others feel good about themselves when they're with you. Bolster their confidence. Show interest in the things they're interested in. Point out the good in others.

Take opportunities to turn lessons about dating into seeking Christ by answering questions and making comments in a way that changes the focus. You could share that your own answers to prayers indicate this isn't the time for you to be seeking a companion but instead to grow your spirituality and discipleship and understanding.

Be your own person. Be willing to say things that others might not. For example, if someone is temporarily home from a mission, you could say if they want to go back then that's great, but they don't have to go back out to the mission field if they don't want to, that Jesus loves them either way.

Best of luck to you

[reccyls]

quick summary of gilbert's proposal event route:

Gilbert just vanished for a day, sending MC and Roderich into a panic, searching the entire castle and even the city for him. When he reappears, MC worriedly asks him where he's been, but Gilbert deflects the question, saying it doesn't really matter. MC is still worried, but internally decides that for now it's okay, since Gilbert appears to be well and it doesn't look like anything happened.

When she wakes up the next day, she's greeted with the sight of a black wedding dress on a mannequin, Gilbert standing right next to her, as he cheerfully proclaims that they're going to get married. While the MC does want to get married someday, she feels uneasy about the situation in a way she can't quite place yet.

Cut to Akatsuki, here in Obsidian for business. Gilbert is asking for MC's hand in marriage from him (though it's less asking, more just declaring), and Akatsuki immediately threatens to kill Gilbert. But basically, Akatsuki says that now isn't an appropriate time for them to be married yet. They don't know each other enough, they can't fully trust each other. And for that reason he won't give his blessing. Why is Gilbert rushing this anyway? The two of them have plenty of time. As Akatsuki speaks, MC realizes what exactly is making her so uneasy about everything.

That night, she goes to see Valter, Gilbert's personal physician. She asks him about Gilbert's disappearance the previous day, but Valter says that he can't talk to her about it. But that reaction is enough for the MC to work out that Gilbert hid away for the day because his health had worsened and he didn't want her to know.

(From here on out it's the premium end from Gilbert's POV as I have not finished the Sweet end yet)

Gilbert catches her as she leaves Valter, scolding her for going to see another man at night. However, MC then talks about how she knows that Gilbert had disappeared because he had gotten sick, and specifically also hid that from her. She says that this is why she doesn't want to get married to him yet; he doesn't fully trust her yet. She knows that she isn't a doctor, that she can't really do anything to help when he gets sick. All she can do is do things like rub his back or be there with him. But in her opinion, that is what true family is: people who will support each other and be there for each other no matter what, and who can trust each other to look after them in their worst moments.

Gilbert thinks that at one point, he thought like that too. During his childhood he had his older brother Albert, and his mother. When he was bedridden and whenever his already poor health took a turn for the worse, at least one of them would be there with him to hold his hand. But Albert and his mother are gone now. There is nobody left for him.

Until the MC is here, offering to be that for him. And Gilbert comes to a realization: he is afraid of her. He is afraid to put that trust in her, and to have her betray him the same way Albert and his mother did: by leaving him or being taken from him. That's why he wanted to rush the marriage: in order to bind her to him and ensure that she would always stay by his side.

MC says that of course she wants to marry Gilbert some day, to officially become part of his family. But they can't do that now, when Gilbert still has these hangups. She understands that Gilbert has lived his whole life in Obsidian palace, where showing any sign of weakness was to invite an opportunity for assassination, and so he doesn't feel safe being weak around anyone anymore. But she is willing to wait for him and with him, for as long as it takes until he can trust her fully with his weakness.

Which is when Gilbert suggests an engagement instead of a marriage, which MC happily agrees to. She does ask for some time before the ceremony in order to prepare a gift for him as well, which turns out to be a necktie embroidered with roses. Gilbert says that ties have a symbolic meaning of binding, and teasingly asks her if it means that she wants to bind him to her. And she says that's exactly what she means. She is binding herself to him as well, her way of saying that she won't leave and she won't die. So he doesn't have to worry about either of those happening.

She also calls him "Gil" at long last, surprising him since she never said it once. Gilber thinks that before, only his family called him that. But up until that point there was nobody left in the world who would call him Gil anymore. So hearing MC call him Gil, the special nickname that he associates with his beloved family... he didn't think that he could ever be so happy.

[bearpillowmonster]

I've heard all kinds of things about this show but it was one of those adult shows on late night as a kid so I kind of just passed by it and the concept of a show that moves in real time is cool and all but it'd take impeccable writing to pull off. I'm sure everyone's asked the question about how someone got from point A to point B so quick but it's something you learn to hurdle over, there are a lot of things involved to warrant a minor time skip.

As far as how it's aged, well, I'm streaming it so it doesn't have the commercials which are included in the timer, which would've made you feel immersed like it's a live tv show. Also, I have a pause button, but other than that, it's considered an hour a piece and there's twenty four episodes hence "24".

I went in knowing nothing about the actual plot, just that I've heard it to be satisfying from beginning to end and I know Kiefer Sutherland from Metal Gear so any excuse to hear that voice. It did actually have a few moments like that too, him sneaking and hiding behind something and shooting his gun around the corner and all. My favorite part of the series might actually be the one where he's in between the panes of glass relatively early on. It's like Die Hard the tv show.

Now some characters have better stories than others, the wife for example, Teri, they introduce her as the mom that the daughter doesn't like but you're not sure why, maybe she just works a lot. Then you start to see as she breaks into her daughter's laptop, complains about Jack not being around whenever he's getting shot at. I could see if it was played off as if she doesn't know what kind of work he does but obviously she does because she has Jack use his government powers (and his friends) in order to do her personal bidding, now does it pay off? Yes, but she doesn't know that. She's not the only one either but I digress.

The Senator is used to kind of show that his life mirrors Jack's, giving similar situations but the opposite outcome and it shows what lines they're willing to cross and not cross given similar opportunities. (Also, black president, before Obama) But because it's 24 hours, it can get kind of slow because there's always an impending threat but it gets super involved with everything else going on and you wanna line the pieces up but ultimately, sometimes it feels like they spend way too much time before the actual threat even gets anywhere, it's all side-work. And these people don't sleep.

Every now and then, they try to throw you a bone and give you a time window "ten minutes from now, your car will arrive." "I'll finish decoding this in twenty minutes." "At 10:45, I'll call." and sometimes they're right if you time it, it at least tells you that hey, there's this much runtime left, it'll be in this episode. Engaging if you're looking at the clock. Wait, does that mean that every week the show was on at a different hour and was this successful? But wait, what about time zones? Reruns? I'm not sure how it all worked and it's hard to find evidence.

It almost seemed like they were grasping at straws at a certain point to reach all 24 episodes AND be in 24 hours so Kim gets kidnapped…again and Jack ends up being blackmailed…again. Almost like they were responding to criticisms from previous episodes because people weave in and out like they were paid on an episode by episode basis. But this is just one season and it took almost a year to film.

Then somewhere, out of the blue, they give you the most crazy twist at the end of episode 23. It doesn't even make any sense, it wasn't like some ah-ha moment where the pieces fell into place and you could go back and see how they did it, no, because there's so much evidence the other way that it seems impossible. If they knew this person was involved, why did they try to kill them? Why did they help at all these turns and get in the way at points?

Before that, I wasn't too sure how this season would be followed up given that it at least concludes what we have and that one thing just left a bunch of unanswered questions. I'm a little half and half with it overall, some of what it had I really liked, but some isn't that good. I'll probably watch S2 at some point though.

NOW! I mentioned Teri and she's just a special kind of character that I found myself making fun of for a majority of it but I wrote so much that I wanted to keep it in the same post but not muddy up the rest of my thoughts so FULL ON SPOILERS from here folks.

Episode 9 is full of real a-holery, like the writing is just wrong as far as it goes. Teri…lets herself get "r'ed" to protect the daughter from also getting "r'ed"?? Then she digs up old dirt on the people who just rescued her and still tries to get Jack's attention while he's being questioned for saving their lives? Needy much?

Teri actually ends up scarred by this event, which is understandable, her daughter goes missing, she gets…r….she has to shoot a man, she gets questioned, she learns she's pregnant, all in 24 hours but there are points where they hint at this affecting her where it just comes off as cheesy, she'll just stare blankly or forget and they're like "c'mon, remember!" it's not like a sad moment or anything, it's a time of need and it hinders her ability to function. But she shuts down to the point where her daughter is calling her and she doesn't even answer, staring into nothing, can't answer for anything but once there's an attack, she kicks it into high gear and does a whole chase sequence.

Ok, fight or flight, she finally learned. And all these complaints that I've had with her, while I haven't been her biggest fan, while I haven't liked how they wrote her segments, I can commend them for one thing- they were committed. Whatever came next was so much apart of her character that I never would've even crossed that road. She goes through the chase, pulls off behind some bushes and lets the dude pass, she GETS OUT OF THE CAR to go check to see if he's still following. You know- the guy- trying to kill her- will run her over the first chance he gets and she'll be helpless to stop it. Apparently she already thought of that though and told Kim to stay in the car. Well, she for some reason, cornered her car so far off the edge so that there was no chance to get away (let alone quickly having her gotten out) that it tips over and falls off the mountain and exploding with Kim in it. Talk about leaving a wake of destruction in your path…so that makes her pass out. On point for her character thus far. She wakes up and doesn't know where or who she is, she forgot EVERYTHING. Absolutely committed to this path, she is a force to be reckoned with.

And you think she's bad? Just wait until you get a load of Sherri (get it? rhymes with Teri), she's- I'm not even going to talk about her. Like I said, two sides of the same coin but somehow, she's more evil.

[zombie-entrails]

all my ocs with sexual trauma and details about them

CW: vague descriptions of sexual intrusives, abuse, assault, and harassment. non vivid but still describing events nonetheless

■ doc. aleks

-has been catcalled, groped, etc. his entire life and at this point is kinda just used to it. he has gotten good at not responding or not making a "big deal" out of it. is good at rejecting typical flirting, though, and is more firm about that than anything

-struggles with withdrawing consent and rejecting others, specifically if they're already coming onto him physically. doesn't know how to make the decisions best for himself especially when blindsided by pleasure

-easily overstimulated and has a tendency to go nonverbal. doesn't know how to communicate when he needs or wants to stop and often rejects attempting other forms of communication. gets a little lost in his head mentally, too, so he becomes generally non responsive

-(TW: gang assault) was once gangraped while inebriated at a party by a friend and some strangers when he was in his early 20s. thinks generally that he was a willing participant, must've liked it in some way, and or did something to engage what happened. reasons his body's physical responses were proof

-mentioned it once to dante and played it off as consensual (dante cried later)

-with the prior info, he also remained friends with said person for years after the event. they never talked about it and proceeded to have consensual relations later down the line. they only stopped talking when aleks became distant with college

-doesnt realize he experiences intrusive thoughts and often believes they're real thoughts he's having. gets extremely frustrated and dissociated when he experiences sexual intrusives and has a tendency to get "snappy" after experiencing an intrusive

-(TW: sexual intrusive as perpetrator) often experiences intrusives where he's the one being forceful and nonconsensual towards another. thinks there's something genuinely wrong with him and has gotten vaguely paranoid about it

-(TW: sexual comments towards a minor from adults) was constantly told he was "going to grow up to be a looker" or that he'd "be a ladies man" when he's older. appearance and physicality were constantly judged by others growing up, especially adults, and doesn't really recognize inappropriateness in said behavior towards him as a minor

-(TW: grooming) that being mentioned he was probably prone to being groomed when he was younger. probably engaged in a few relationships in his late teens to mid 20s with older men & women

■ nicola

-completely sex repulsed and experiences intense body dysmorphia. covers mirrors in the bathroom whenever he's taking a shower and has a tendency to take long showers in order to ensure he's "clean"

-feels shameful about things like masturbation, feeling horny, etc. and this shame often extends to how he feels about anything related to genitals of any sort. has a lot of anxiety about others being aware of his genitals and body functions (like being uncomfortable about others being aware of him in a bathroom)

-(TW: incestual sexual abuse on a child) was sexually abused for multiple years of his childhood by his mom after his parents divorce. was coerced and threatened into silence frequently and was too scared to/didn't know how to communicate to the adults in his life what was going on. became scared of going to his mom's house when it was her time with him and often had meltdowns as a kid because of it

-severely neurodivergent and was diagnosed with OCD at an early age. coupled with the sexual abuse at home he often acted out frequently at school and was constantly given referrals, sent home, put in time out, etc. struggled to maintain friendships due to these problems (josh is goat)

-both his paternal and maternal family look down on him. seen as a messed up failure and is often seen as his mothers "bastard child" on his dads side. dad was the only one that stood up for him and threatened no contact with the rest of the family until they stopped

-it was often suggested that his dad should "beat some sense into him" as a kid by family and strangers alike

-suffers to constant flashbacks, intrusives, shame, etc. and has frequent breakdowns & meltdowns. goes nonverbal almost always and has a tendency to hit himself during these episodes. eventually picked up alcohol as a coping mechanism not long after his dad's suicide

-drinks to forget & clear his mind and will almost always drink to the point of blacking out. mostly a sobbing drunk. once confided in josh about what happened to him as a kid while drunk and isn't aware he ever told him

-if he were to ever engage in anything sexual he'd most likely be hyperaggressive and forceful. views sex as a means of control and power, and it would kind of translate into how he acts during intimacy. would probably bite, shove, choke, etc.

-that being said he'd struggle the most with eye contact and hearing sounds. would need to completely dehumanize someone to be comfortable because the idea of being sexually perceived, especially nude, would scare him beyond comprehension

[sansloii]

Dissect your own writing style. What do you do most often? What do you want to take away from other writers (tag them if you want)? What is something you want to break out of?

when i started eons ago (2011/2012-ish), I had major issues with splicing-- where i felt the need to reply to every single thing in a response. even though it seemed like my muse was thoroughly engaged with whoever they were interacting with, it made my writing quite awkward since i would jump from one topic to another--from one focus to the next--and it didn't really flow well either. it wasn't pleasant to read and if i went back to re-read it, i found it very tedious. i would scan it, which is even worse because if i'm not properly re-reading it, why would anyone else, you know? i also struggled with many of the things most people did, which included dumping a thesaurus ( not to the point of purple prose ) into my writing and praying it would make it better.

anywho, i mention splicing first because it was the driving factor in me reshaping how i wrote and everything else either came after or changed with it.

style and structure

my current writing style is divided into three parts: Reaction, Thoughts, and Response. how these three are arranged are completely dependent on how the prior post in the thread left off but more oft than not, they are in that general order; my outlines ( when i do write them ) are in a similar order too. It has its upsides ( it makes it easier for me to direct a thread or a response to something because there's a structure ) and downsides ( if I'm not willing to compromise on structure here and there, it makes it difficult to frame my writing properly ). overall, though, it's helped me--as frustrated as i get with getting things down

reactions and thoughts tend to either take 2/3rds of a reply and a response takes up about 1/3rd. the reason why reactions and thoughts are bundled together is because, to me, they're more or less blended together by default and trying to section them out like "here's a reaction. then a thought" interrupts the flow of my writing. instead, they're layered together so it allows me to maybe going back and forth when a muse is reacting and/or thinking about what's happening in a moment. the response is, more oft than not, interacting with the other character if it wasn't included in the previous section and active dialouge. i've been guilty of having my muse say things, do things, and think things that don't push anything forward so at the end of a reply, i make sure to evaluate whether or not my muse has done anything of substance if needed.

things i've noticed i do a lot are:

repetition for emphasis ( e.g: he tried over and over and over again )

including phrases/descriptions/entire sentences that a partner used not necessarily in that thread/ask, but in another in order to make a connection between the muses a bit more apparent

splitting dialouge with an icon or with a singular line of thought

splitting dialouge with action that's not "he said, she tells, they laugh", etc. if i can

if there is a theme that is going to prevail throughout the entire response/ask, it's usually established in the first or second paragraph

i'm sure there are other things that i do but these are the few i've noticed because they're more of an active choice i make.

dialouge

something i also do that's not necessarily visible in my writing is that i repeat my dialouge to myself with the general mannerism of whichever muse is talking. so take for example, mikah and kurama ( @un1awful ). these shits do nothing but make jabs at each other if they're not actively engaged in something serious. as a result, they're very dialouge heavily. mikah's words have to be concise and sharp ontop of conveying bits and pieces of their ego because of who they're dealing with ( like here ). mikah's not threating kurama--so it can't be too aggressive or too insulting... but it also needs to convey that they want him to shut the fuck up without them outright saying "shut the fuck up", you know?

on the flip side, we have Andris, who also has ego and is also sharp.... but the way he is sharp is different. he has that "customer service" type of voice--very even and is intentional about what he says and how he says it. any bite he has tends to be a bit subtle. for example, here when he addresses seth ( @starpoacher ), he's teasing back but he's also still a little annoyed about seth barging in, hovering over his shoulder, etc., hence the use of "sir chef" instead of Seth's name. it comes and goes quickly because... it's seth and he will ultimately get over it, but that's how he tends to convey things.

it's a little awkward repeating dialouge to myself but it also helps me identify better ways to say something or to figure out if something is not quite right about a phrase my muse says. my muses also have different cadences when they speak so repeating them in that cadence does help when it comes to placing it in a reply and knowing where i can break it up, if needed.

what i want to take away from other writers + what i want to break out of

i require the ability to proofread better.

i don't think i'm the only one that thinks faster than i type and so, i forget words/sentences/etc. and don't catch it until i circle back for a second read... after i've posted it. it doesn't happen a lot but when it does i cringe so fucking hard.

i also have a bad habit of writing too much and not being willing to cut things out even if i don't like it, which stems from the mentality that "longer is better" and it's not. longer without substance is not better. longer with tedious language is not better. longer to the point of... not quite knowing what the point of the reply was is not better.

i've curbed a little bit of that through reading the threads and asks answered by others ( @un1awful, @rexpyre, @nezumivc103221, @bloodxhound, @royaletiquette to name a few ) and it's less to take from them and more to just... see how they write, i guess? and not necessarily things that i'm involved in but thing threads or asks i catch that are interesting to me. it helps to take a step back and not think so much about how i write things for a little bit and just... read something else--something that i have nothing to do with. in a way, it helps me be a little more objective with my own writing.

as much as i like my style and the way i write, seeing it over and over again makes me crave variety. i want to see how other people describe things or get from A to B. to that point, varying sentence structure is another thing at the back of my mind that.... i have a love-hate relationship with. on one hand, i can write something and be perfectly fine with it. on the other, i look at it and wonder why i have multiple long sentences like "[action/thought] and [action/thought]" right next to each other. it's that or a bunch of short sentences bundled together. sometimes, it's even a long and short sentence but they don't flow well like that... so they both need to change. i get though it somehow but not without some difficultly

Unprompted | @eternasci

[ceescedasticity]

Unforsaken, 9b

(All sections on tumblr)

(AO3, lagging behind but more polished)

Once they're a safe distance from the Beornings, they're rejoined by Turgon, Celegorm, and Sharlinnu.

Happily, introduction of the oxen to the orcs goes fairly smoothly.

("You had to be able to avoid spooking the draft animals," Sharlinnu says to Khitwê and Risyind. "The Dark Lord liked using shaped-to-purpose beasts, but most of the human servants sent tribute with just regular beasts, and of course any herds… You'd be surprised how many orcs found out the hard way they couldn't scare a herd of cows into cowering obedience.")

They now have to answer the question: At what time of day are they going to travel?

—Well, actually, no they don't. They're traveling in daylight hours. The elves (and half-elves, and Gimli) could manage traveling by night, but it would be hard on the horses and oxen. Plus, they're heading into summer and traveling north: avoiding daylight would cut down on time they could be moving.

The question they have to answer is: Are the orcs going to ride in the wagons, under the partial protection of the canvas covers, sitting awkwardly amid the supplies and on top of the crates of Wizard's Clay, on the barges, or are they going to bravely, determinedly walk under the Sun, trying to hide the pain?

They have to answer this every day.

Several times a day, even.

Khitwê and Risyind are very good at getting Sharlinnu to at least take a break with an anxious question or two and worried looks.

Glorfindel is trusting Turgon's judgment, theoretically, but sometimes his worried looks get too awkward and Turgon has to take a break.

Maglor's attempts to get Celegorm to take shelter turn into an open battle of wills every time.

(At least Maglor is getting in practice for setting his will against something?)

(All three of the Pelnûru are familiar with the concept of parasols, but none of them know how to make them in a hurry with whatever they have on hand.)

(Gimli is also walking, having turned down the offer of a horse. At ox speed, it's not a challenge.)

****

Then there's introduction of Turgon to the Hirnedhrim — as in, explaining what their sort-of connection is, which requires explaining who the Fair Orc was before he was an orc. So that's… interesting.

Turgon kind of feels like he should apologize to the Hirnedhrim for not hunting down Ulk every lifetime before he had a chance to go terrorize Dunland? But if he had then they wouldn't have been born, so maybe not?

Celegorm offers to invite them along to kill Ulk one last time after destroying Ghâsh-bagronk. Zena and Dyn politely decline. Zuste says she has other commitments but some of their sisters might be interested. Sharlinnu points out they don't actually know if Ulk is alive right now.

Sharlinnu also takes the opportunity to reiterate her bewilderment about the Fair Orc, because literally no other orc did that.

(Turgon and Celegorm could argue it's not so surprising because Eöl, but… they're both pretty bewildered too, Eöl or not. After six and a half thousand years, Turgon can think of just seven orcs or goblins who engaged in sex at any time not in Shadow-driven multiplication duties or, worse, under orders.)

Zuste isn't sure what the orcs in the Iron Ring thought about the Fair Orc — actually she's not certain what the orcs in the Iron Ring knew about where the goblin-men of Dunland came from. It wasn't a secret, but she didn't know if they'd cared to ask.

(Over the winter Turgon read Imladris's copy of Zuste's accounts of the Fair Orc, the goblin-men of Dunland before the Iron Wizard came, and the orc-husbandry of the Iron Ring. He has not read her account of the fall of the Iron Ring, or he would be trying to change the subject.)

—Speaking of which, Zuste wonders if the orc who warned her to leave was an 'orc-who-knows'? She was called Leafblight?

"There is an orc-who-knows who goes by Leafblight who probably would have been there, yes," Turgon says.

He does not look at Celeborn. Celeborn has no reason to think this Leafblight was Nimloth. The names aren't a one-to-one match. There are multiple orcs called 'Leafblight' or something similar, who probably had several different botanically-themed names.

This is fine.

"Not like her to stick her neck out," Sharlinnu says.

Celegorm shrugged. "Yeah, well, the wizard recruited orcs-who-know by claiming to be a… wizard doing what he's supposed to. Implied his work was sanctioned. With his magic voice. Figuring out it wasn't was probably a nasty shock."

He adds, to Khitwê and Risyind: "Your Tarnish figured him out in a couple of hours, not bad."

(Maglor does not ask how Celegorm knows either of those things, but he definitely makes a mental note on the subject.)

****

The next time an awkward silence falls, Elladan gets Khitwê and Risyind to retell their journey to Pelndoru and back, and about some of the particularly different things there.

Gimli is prevailed upon to share what he knows about the Sorcadê League.

Turgon remembers hearing that Sagmanati Raptores were a real pain to incorporate into Mordor's large-scale military strategy because they would not stop raiding other encampments — not of orcs, or of anyone with real power in them, but there were more than enough mundane Men to keep them entertained.

Sharlinnu remembers the White Empire being a problem when she was alive — yes, of course she means alive and an elf — but is sort of surprised it still exists (or did recently), because she's not sure she ever heard it mentioned as an orc. Did Sauron just… forget about it?

****

They check in with Arwen by palantír every night, whether or not anything at all interesting happened. Often Aragorn says hi, too, and sometimes Eldarion.

(Eldarion Telcontar is eight years old and would love to be going on an adventure with a bunch of cool people he knows — his uncles, Legolas and Gimli who might as well be his uncles, his grandfather, Khitwê and Risyind who are family friends, Zuste Ríanbyr who is kind of scary but cool, Glorfindel… Sadly he's not allowed to do anything fun.)

[theothersarshi]

when jkr's identity is intrinsically tied to hp because she made it so, you do have to grow up and think about how your supposed comfort zone is validating the damage to trans people

if you keep going back while knowing that, it just shows where you stand on those issues.

I was wondering when I'd get one of these asks. I don't blame you for saying or for feeling the way you do, btw. I'm happy to talk.

1. Harry Potter spoke to LGBTQ+ kids and you can't change that

Because you literally can't change the past.

I understand that Harry Potter is a sore point for very many people - and do you know what? I think it's a very sore point precisely because those books spoke to so many and offered a comfort zone to a lot of marginalized kids.

Harry Potter lived in a cupboard under the stairs, with a family that hated him and told him he was dirty and polluted just because he was what he was. But what he was was wonderful, not horrible.

Of course that resonated with a lot of LGBTQ+ (or divergent or abused) kids! And of course JKR's face-heel turn straight into hell felt like betrayal!

But I also think that "mixed feelings" isn't an unusual reaction to this. I also think "I like the fandom and hate the author" is a quite normal reaction.

Here's one reason I reblogged this post:

I have a bunch of new and comfort fics queued up for my top surgery recovery.

The person who wrote that stance is trans.

You say, nonnie:

you do have to grow up and think about how your supposed comfort zone is validating the damage to trans people

Why "supposed"? And why "zone"? They're comfort reads.

You know, I'm not the greatest trans ally in the world, but I believe trans people are people. And that means they get to have comfort reads just like everyone else. If those comfort reads are fanfics about some kid who was told to pretend he doesn't exist, and that he's tainted, and he should hide away forever, but then he comes out of the closet and lives a pretty cool life... well, I kind of get it.

Also, I don't see how whatever the poster (or anyone else reading fanfic) is reading is validating the damage to trans people. I think it's an association of taintedness, a potential trigger of bad feelings for people who might see it - and that's about it.

2. Harry Potter hatred feels performative to me

Another reason I reblogged this post is this:

Email warner brothers abt their new theme park, or better yet, the media that legitimizes and platforms her, or better yet, actually pivot to activism /for/ trans people.

I've often felt that the anti-HP hatred feels performative. "You like(d) Harry Potter? Oh no! You are terrible!"

Not engaging with HP content is far removed from actually helping anyone. Hunting down random HP fans to tell them they're being insensitive doesn't help too much.

I get that some people get knee-jerk reactions about Harry Potter. It's why I don't talk about that series much anymore - especially on Tumblr. It's out of some sort of vague respect for the room I'm in.

However, how I feel about HP fanfic in my heart is something that... Sorry, I have a Romanian phrase in mind right now, I'll reproduce it literally: JK Rowling pisses in an arch on my feelings about the topic. As in, she gives no fucks. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Getting me personally to feel differently about HP is a battle for my soul that's helping nobody.

Also, you're living in a bubble where you assume that the people around you care a lot about their trans ally identity, and are willing to change a heckuva lot about themselves really quickly in order to remain true to that identity.

I don't deny that this might be the case in some Tumblr/fandom circles. However, outside of this bubble, people aren't as married to the idea of being trans allies, and you can't force them to do things based on that.

3. You can't simply replace Harry Potter with something else

Another reason I reblogged that post:

I have a bunch of new and comfort fics queued up for my top surgery recovery. If one more person tells me to just decide to like earthsea instead I will metaphorically kms in front of them.

Mood. SO much mood.

And it's not just about Harry Potter, you know? You can't replace something a person loves with something similar, because it's palpably not the same thing. There's no universal solution for what that person would love next.

Finding a new fandom and new comfort reads is hard, and it depends a lot on what speaks to people. Sometimes you can switch easily, at other times nothing is ever quite the same again. This new shirt isn't a perfect replacement for your favorite shirt. This new show isn't identical to your old show. This new book isn't like the old book.

"Love this instead" is wrong - and it can be disrespectful. The person might eventually find something else to love, but "Don't read Harry Potter, read Earthsea" sounds exactly like the "We have X at home" meme.

4. The HP fandom isn't mindlessly following Rowling

It's funny, but I learned about all sorts of things from the HP fandom as it criticized Rowling.

Yes, it's worth explaining that Rowling has turned into a bigot who's harming real people and (to use that Romanian phrase again) who's pissing in an arch on women, men, autistic folk and so on in her fight against trans people. It's worth saying "Don't support her with money".

On the other hand, the series she wrote was flawed in all sorts of ways that fandom discussed in great depth and complexity. I feel very grateful to the Jewish community for explaining the goblin issues. I feel grateful to fandom for pointing out the social problems. I'm happy the whole "happy slave" thing was explained re: house elves. I feel grateful to everyone who went deep into this series and discussed issues at length.

Harry Potter is a deeply flawed series. It always has been. But it's flawed in ways that are in tune with how society perceives things. So an analysis of what the book is made of was also an analysis of our assumptions of the world, of larger problematic tropes and so on.

Those discussions happened, and they sure as fuck weren't brought on by Rowling, but by all the fans. Who are still around. JK Rowling was absolutely in the wrong there, too - but the fandom itself? Well, the fandom had a lot to offer that wasn't as wrong as JK Rowling.

You can take the world's best book and have shit discourse about it. Or a very flawed book and have great conversations about it.

(I'd say the fandom was less wrong about some things, but... ffs. Sometimes the Less Wrong fandom was Way More Wrong.)

5. JK Rowling's shitty, shitty takes

This has nothing to do with anything, but my fucking god. I need to rant.

Even trans issues aside, JK Rowling's tendency to retcon things and make claims unsupported by the text is so. Fucking. Dumb. "Book 5 is filled with raging hormones!" Where? I've never seen less horny teenagers. "Dumbledore is gay!" Really? Funny, how you never mentioned it before this interview. "Hermione could be black, you don't know!" Oh, for pete's sake. "You shouldn't pick on people for being fat!" Says the creator of Dudley Dursley and others.

I'd be embarrassed if I were her. But she has no ability to be embarrassed.

6. I know I haven't persuaded you

And that's fine. You can still go hate Harry Potter. You can even think I'm horrible for refusing to let go of the fandom. (Which I do, although at this point I'm barely reading fic anymore.)

But in my turn, I'm going to think that indiscriminately telling people things like how they're validating damage against trans people for reading their little fanfics is also pretty insensitive and out of touch. And it's also useless, because, as that poster said, it'd be more helpful if she were dropped by the people giving JKR an actual platform and money. I know I haven't for years.

[acourtofthought]

I'm so confused😭 idk if I should agree with them that Gwyn and Lucien deserve better or if they mean Elain and Az deserve each other in the most twisted and sickest way bc they treated Gwyn and Lucien wrong so they should be together bc they've been shitty to them? LOL what is happening?😭

this reminded me of that anon who said Azriel didn't care if Gwyn was about to get r*ped again... the only explanation for this is they want e/riel be this truly evil couple and that just doesn't work like- HELP

Based on this logic Rhysand deserved better since Feyre did not want him and instead preferred Tamlin. Cassian deserved better since Nesta preferred other males to him. Elain deserved better because Az was still in love with Mor while she sat next to him in the room at Solstice. Az deserved better because while he offered her TT and helped get her back from Hyberns camp, Elain was still mourning Graysen after that.

But apparently to them "deserving better" only applies to any characters who stand in the way of E/riel from being endgame.

Also, Lucien is in control of what he is willing to put up with so someone claiming "he deserves better" is completely ignoring that he has the choice to walk away. No one is forcing him to give Elain time or to bring her gifts. He wants to do those things because he still holds out hope. The AUTHOR wants him to still hold out hope for Elain and we all know what happens for mated males in this series who suffer through an Archeron sister not wanting them.

And while his suffering is painful to read about, it's only half the picture.

Elain "deserved better" than to be kidnapped, thrown into a Cauldron against her will and changed into an entirely new species. Elain deserved better than to have her fiance reject her for those things and that in the minutes after becoming a new species it came along with a mating bond that immediately snapped for both she and Lucien before either was ready. Elain deserved better than to be kidnapped a second time, later having to stab a man and look upon her fathers murdered body.

Saying Lucien "deserves better" is not taking into consideration that he's only half of this whole and in order for two people to find their way to one another, they need to first heal from their own pasts. It's completely ignoring that Elain deserves to heal from her traumas before worrying about what "Lucien deserves".

I love Lucien but what he "deserves" is to have a mate who has had time to adjust to her new world and to process what she's feeling before having to focus on her bond with him, so she can come to him in the right frame of mind to be more of the love interest he deserves.

It sucks that in her processing of this new world she's flirting with Az but that's her right. It's normal to not jump into anything too serious after extreme trauma and her engagement and she has made no promises to Lucien. At this moment these two characters desires don't align but that doesn't mean his desires are more valid than hers. It also doesn't mean her desires can't change in the next book so he is what she wants.

HEA mating bonds are not just handed to these characters. In an SJM book, if there's not a bit of a suffering, it's not happening.

As far as Gwyn, "deserve" shouldn't even come into play because she and Az haven't moved forward in any sort of relationship. There's hints that's where they'll end up but right now what does deserve have to do with anything when they're in early stages? We don't even know whether she has feelings beyond curiosity and flirtation at this point and no clue whether either is aware of a possible bond. The only thing she deserves is for Az to work through his shit before moving forward with her and that's something that can easily happen in his book.

Two people end up together when the time is right and just because that time doesn't happen exactly when someone says it should doesn't mean someone deserves better. It's actually the opposite in a romance book. When one character is willing to wait out another while they deal with their demons, that's why they're deserving of the ultimate HEA in the end, their suffering is what makes them worthy.

I'd say neither Elain or Az are "deserving" of a HEA together since neither has truly suffered for the other. He was still half in love with Mor while lusting over Elain and she was still dealing with the loss of Graysen and her humanity while "flirting" with Az. Sure Az is struggling with not getting a bond but that has nothing to do with not getting to be with Elain the person. He spent centuries wanting a bond with Mor then a year questioning why he wasn't mated to Elain. But it's the bond he wants, not her and he's only confused why two brothers got two sisters and he wasn't automatically given the third (again, nothing to do with her as an individual). If in this persons estimation Elain and Az are the ones hurting those that deserve better than shouldn't E/riel be the ones punished by not getting what they want (which to an E/riel is for E/riel to be together)? Shouldn't Lucien, the one who "deserves better", get what he wants most? And doesn't that appear to be a true happily ever after with his mate, the ultimate thing in an SJM novel?