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all-things-fic · 4 years ago

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Country Lane | Divorce Harry III

Thank you all for waiting for this one. Massive middle finger to tumblr for screwing the post up! Divorce Harry III is finally here!

Shoutout to my lovely ladies who taking time to read this for me @harrytheehottie, @harryfeatgaga, @haute-romance-quotidienne and of course @waitingfortwilight. Also, thank you to all my lovely anons and those of you who come off anon to talk about this, I’ve really loved the general chit chat about the series <3

Without further ado, enjoy! Lots of love and happy Saturday! x

*~*

You had no idea where you were.

Surrounded by nothing but overgrown grass and the odd wooden fence. If you listened carefully in the distance you could hear the traffic of what you thought could be the A34 road and you were pretty sure that the last sign you had seen before your car cut out had been for Congleton.

Rubbing your hands down your fresh face, your spa retreat to Mottram Hall for the hen-do of one of the school Mum’s entering her second marriage, was nothing more than a distant memory. As you sat freezing, in your car, looking out onto the harsh autumn weather of October, you were far from relaxed and rejuvenated.

Worrying your bottom lip with your top teeth, you juggled your phone from palm to palm. You knew you had to call him, you effectively didn’t have any choice. Especially after you’d pulled your way through your glove compartment and you hadn’t come up trumps with your breakdown cover documentation.

Part of you was cursing in that moment at how you’d handed the piece of paper which held all telephone numbers and car insurance policy account numbers over to your son to scribble upon during one particularly long car session, just to keep him quiet. You were actually sure it was now stuck on your fridge with a lovely drawing of what you presumed to be Marvel characters all over it.

The worst of it all was that you knew whatever had happened to your car was bad. You knew simply from the way the car had spluttered and started to grind before almost seizing up and stalling to a halt.

Unlocking your phone, you scrolled through your contacts and landed on his contact card. Clicking on it you saw when the last time you had called him was and recalled the soft FaceTime he’d had with your eldest son, who wanted to tell his Daddy about how he’d been picked for the schools first rugby team, taking him out of reserves and off the bench.

Breathing deeply, you ignored the ache the fond memory began to cause and tapped Harry’s name. The dialling tone that greeted you filled the pit of your stomach with knots as you tried to relax in the leather seat of your Range Rover.

Again, you started to worry your lips at the fifth ring, before the line clicked and you heard his warm voice. You froze at how friendly he sounded, his voice held an edge of laughter to it and you heard shuffling faintly in the background, followed by chatter, before it was shut out.

On the other end of the line, Harry had found himself dodging his way around people in his Mother’s kitchen in Cheshire, before leaving the room and catching your call before it cut off.

“Sorry ‘bout tha’,” he spoke an unnecessary apology, probably because of how long it had taken him to answer, as you remained quiet on the other line.

You blinked harshly at the sound of your name being spoken. “Are you still there?” Harry asked, pulling the phone away from his ear to see that the call was indeed still running.

“Ye- yeah,” you stuttered, partly due to a soft tremble to your lips from being cold.

“Everythin’ alrigh’?” He asked, a concerned edge to his question, as you dropped deeper into your car seat.

Another small amount of silence.

“Not really,” you responded, honestly. “Where are you?”

With a small frown, he answered, “‘M at Mums. ‘S her birthday this weekend, remember?”

Shit. You’d forgotten.

Heavily breathing in response, you said, “It slipped my mind. Sorry.”

There was a chuckle at the end of the line.

“Not like you tha’,” he playfully jostled, causing the pit of your stomach to fall through again. You hated how he always managed to make any conversation between the two of you not seem as if you were in the middle of a prolonged divorce. “Usually got everything colour coordinated on our kitchen calendar.”

And he still did that so smoothly too, spoke about things as if you still did them together. The use of ‘our’ and ‘we’ was second nature and so naturally fell off his tongue in a velvety way that was soothing but left you shivering if caught by your touch in a different way.

As if he could read your mind, before you’d thought it, he said, “Don’t worry. I added everyone’s names to the presents so she thinks they’re from all o’ us.”

“I shouldn’t have called, you’re busy,” you responded without feeling, starting to pull the phone away from your ear and back to thinking about how you could get in touch with your breakdown cover. There had to be a way, surely.

“Hey, no,” he was urgent. “Don’t hang up, ‘s fine. I’ve pulled myself away. ‘S okay- please. Don’t hang up on me, something’s not right ‘ere. ‘S okay to still need me sometimes, y’ know?”

“It’s okay, I can sort it myself-“ you flung your car door open. “Can you just tell me know how to pop the bonnet up on this car, cause it’s been so bloody long since I last had to do it-“

“Pop the bonnet? Why’d you need to do that? Have you broken down somewhere?” His questions were clipped as he asked.

“Don’t get arsey with me-“

“‘M not,” he replied, quickly cutting. He really was. “Are the kids wi’you?”

“‘S alright for me be stranded on the side of the road on my own when it’s about to get dark-“

“Did I say that?” Again, he words were clipped. “Are you trying to wind me up?”

“Why have you not told me how to raise the bonnet?”

He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose before walking the short distance in his Mother's hallway to lower himself, slowly, down to sit on the stairs.

“Underneath the passenger side there’s a lever,” he paused his softer tone, giving you time to find it. As he spoke you trampled against the grass closest to the passenger side and opened the door. Looking down at a red lever, which had clearly made itself known to you now that it had been brought to your attention.

“Found it?” he asked, hearing you hum.

You shut the passenger door of your car and stared at the slightly popped up bonnet, Harry’s voice filling your ears again. “If you feel underneath the bonnet, between the E and the R there is another little lever. Squeeze that and it’ll release the bonnet-“

“Where’s the little thing to keep it up?”

He breathily chuckled, “‘s on hydraulics so keeps itself up.”

Again, you didn’t respond and he was met with silence. Harry rested his chin against his palm waiting for you to speak, eyes looking towards the dimming light as night began to approach.

“Wha’ can you see?”

“Not a whole lot, it looks fine to me.“

“Darling, just let me come to you.”

“But this is why I pay for breakdown cover,” you snapped.

“Where are you?” He asked, voice deep and to your annoyance laced with concern that he should no longer hold.

You stammered trying to figure out some sort of excuse to bullshit him with, eyes taking in the country lane and the vast greeness around you.

“Last time ‘m askin’,” he harshly cut in. “‘S gonna get dark soon, so jus’ tell me where y’are.”

“Somewhere near Congleton.”

“And wha’s the matter wi’the car?”

You noted his voice on his last question was a bit pinched, probably from focusing on another task like pulling on a pair of trainers to bring him to you. He clearly wasn’t playing along anymore.

“Well, I think I’ve had an oil leak but none of the lights have come on to officially let me know whether I have or haven’t. The only thing is the nasty black marks that are on the driveway at home, but ‘s nothing that couldn't probably be jet washed off-“

As you rambled about cleaning the oil from the drive of the Hampstead home, Harry zoned out beginning to list the things he would probably require to bring with him. He was sure some of it could be found in Robin’s old garage, knowing that boxes of tools were still piled in the far corner.

“Send me your exact location via text.”

“Harry-“ you sighed.

“‘M not askin’, ‘m telling,” he abruptly responded.

***

People say that Googling symptoms is never a good thing, you suppose the same could be said for a car.

Were they symptoms though? You couldn’t quite coherently think of another descriptor for them as they brought up search after search at how you quite possibly could have ruined your car.

You tried not to dwell as the sky around you began to get darker while you sat in the safe passing place on the country lane. It wasn’t like you had much choice but to stick around.

Cold, and dithering slightly, you had taken to throwing your coat over your body like a blanket as simply wearing it wasn’t keeping your entire body warm enough.

Car doors locked and eyes closed, you tried to find some solace in your waiting. You didn’t have much avail, as you were interrupted by the harsh white lighting of LED headlights breaking through the dimming dusk sky.

You frowned, eyes squinting as the light got closer and pulled in behind you. A sense of uncertainty filled your body at the new arrival, along the otherwise desolate road.

A figure of a male jumped out of the car behind you, causing you to still all of your movement in your car seat as you tried to make out any features to you that would make you comfortable in knowing it was Harry.

The blinding lights made it far too difficult to see anything and you were beginning to think that the person behind you had left them on, on purpose. Unless they were those annoying ones that slowly turned themselves off.

Staring out you vaguely were able to make out the figure approaching you and as he got halfway you relaxed.

It was Harry.

He rapped his knuckles gently at your driver's side window and then smiled to himself as he realised how you wouldn’t be able to open it due to your inactive engine.

“Open the door for me,” he spoke, his voice slightly muffled as it came through your car window. He watched as you reached for the door handle inside and pushed the door ajar ever so slightly. “Could you have picked anywhere more hidden away?”

You didn’t respond straight-away, deciding instead to take him in as he stood with his left arm leaning up against the doorframe of your car. His right arm taut as he held the car door open and away from you both, not wanting it to cause any obstruction.

Underneath his khaki parka you could faintly make out a worn Versace tee as it hung open, unzipped. You internally rolled your eyes. What kind of person wore Versace to fix a car and possibly get covered in oil in the process?

As you rested your head back against the seat behind you, you silently enjoyed the way he looked down at you. It was always quite frustrating, even more so now you weren’t together, how magnetising he was.

“Do me a favour?” He broke the silent stare, “Lean over and pull the lever for me? Don’t quite fancy walking around the car and possibly going down a ditch.”

“My parking isn’t that bad!” You chastised, watching the way his lips twitched. “I’m being courteous of other cars on this tiny lane, given them extra room near the passing place-“

“You got miles of space this side of the dotted line,” he spoke cutting in, eyes wide and filled with humour. “Surprised you didn’t drive down the hill bank the other side to be extra courteous.”

“Can pull the lever yourself now, hope you break your ankle-“

“No you don’t-“

“I’d just leave you here, you know? Take the keys out of your pocket and go.“

“Don’t need to resort to petty crime,” his voice was a bit weaker now but still just as cheeky. “Could’ve just asked for ‘em.”

Your eyes moved towards the glinting keys that he held loosely by the key ring after quickly retrieving them from his pocket. Tauntingly wanting you to reach out from them.

“You’re just going to pull them away, if I grab for ‘em.”

“‘M not,” he stressed with a slight laughter. “You’re always so cynical and defensive. Not even thanked me for driving out to come and get you.”

You didn’t respond, instead you gently reached for the keys, feeling him slightly shift them from your grip as he enjoyed the determination on your face.

Fingers filled with want, you still grabbed for them, successfully but having to be halfway out of the seat and door of your car in order to fulfill your achievement.

When your feet met the ground beneath you, you quickly shifted around to pull your coat on properly. As you moved from the doorway, you watched as Harry dropped his chest onto the driver's seat and reached across the width of the car to pull the lever without needing to walk around the car to do so.

Putting a bit of distance between you, so you didn’t fall foul of staring too long at his bum in his blue jeans, you stalled yourself as he pushed his body up to standing and flipped through a book in his hands.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” He said, flicking through what you now knew to be the car’s manual that he must’ve also grabbed from the glove box while inside the car. When you didn’t reply he tore his eyes away from the pages and over to you.

“You’re a good man.”

The honesty in your voice, knocked him. “‘M not, but ‘m trying t’be.”

The two of you stared at each other in the dimming darkness and you knew your gaze matched his sad one.

Clearing his throat, he threw the manual against the driver’s seat. “Anyway out m’ sight, leave the men to the work an’ all tha’. ‘S got heated seats an’ all, if you’re into tha’ sorta thing.”

***

You felt bad watching him out in the cold and dark, a light hanging from the bonnet the only source around him that you imagined was keeping him going.

Sitting in the passenger seat, you let your eyes roam around the black interior of his car that was incredibly spacious and so suitable for your barrage of children.

Your attention turned to outside again as you saw Harry move around from your car and walk up towards his own. His forearm came up to wipe across his mouth, bringing your attention to his facial hair that seemed to be getting thicker and thicker.

Without needing to be prompted, you pressed the button to lower the driver's side window and watched as he pressed his forearms into the resting place you had created for him now there was no window blocking his way.

“Can you get me one of them shammy cloths from out o’the boot please? Jus’ need to double check the dipstick.”

You nodded as he continued, “Would do it m’self but-“ he paused, opening out his hands and showing how dirty his fingers were to you.

“It’s fine,” you said, leaving the car and joining him. “I feel a bit useless anyway,” you admitted.

Both of you remained silent when he joined you at the back of his car, two sets of eyes easily spotting what you were looking for. You opened the packet of two cloths, a horrible peach colour, and passed him one before swapping places with him.

You moved to stand at the side of the car, watching him drop his head inside the boot to see if there was anything else he needed while he was at the other car.

“Since when did you become one of them?”

“One of who?” He asked, his head popping around the side of his car and out of the boot to look at you.

“Your lights on this car are far too bright.”

He rolled his eyes, remaining quiet as he turned back to the contents of his boot. He wasn’t going to respond to your unnecessary nitpicking.

“It’s really nice inside though. Single about me did well then,” you found yourself saying the comment in a biting fashion, unable to hold your tongue.

“Which one?” He bit right back, a clanging heard from the boot, “I asked you if you wanted a credit, you said no.”

You clammed up. He hadn’t taken what you said as a joke. A bit of light humour, you thought, for the road. It was your own fault. You’d become that sort of annoying person you often could get when you found yourself awkwardly doing nothing with yourself. Your delivery of your joke didn’t help either.

“Think I preferred you when you stayed sat, quiet, in the car,” Harry said, head moving out from the boot again so you could read his expressions. Raised eyebrows and twitching lips.

“Piss off,” you glared at him, slowly turning to walk away.

Now it was Harry’s turn to think you were joking, as he shouted after you. “Really gonna be like that after I turned up to save you. That’s twice now I’ve had t’remind yer.”

“You insisted-“

“I know I did,” he spoke around a chuckle. “Now where’re you off to?”

“‘M walking home-“

“Don’t be so fucking ridiculous,” he shouted after you, a frown jarring through his light features when he moved from the open boot to walk closer to you as you turned back around to face him.

***

He managed to coax you to sit back in the car not much longer after you’d stormed off in a huff. Not without a fight, but this was one he was willing to back down on just to get you to stop storming off.

Looking back on it now, the scene was probably quite funny to some passerby or outsider, or it would’ve been if you weren’t so secluded. A female dressed in the most fetching of clothes - sarcasm noted - arguing in the middle of a street. Like some five year old in need of a nap.

Speaking of naps, your eyes shot open wide at the loud bang of your car bonnet being shut. You hadn’t realised that you’d begun to doze until you were abruptly woken.

Bleary vision was quickly erased with a rub of your eyes, as you moved to face the front and pushed your hair from your face.

You were met with Harry busy fiddling with the wires of his lamp. His face dropped down and hair falling so easily into his eyes. He kept walking rather than look into the car to see if you were still with him. Instead, he dropped everything that was in his hands into the boot and proceeded to annoyingly continue to subconsciously show off by pressing a button to close his boot automatically.

Staying wrapped up in one of your kids car blankets, you curled your legs underneath your body and rested your right cheek against the headrest. You continued to be silent as you started to wake up, eyes blinking slowly as you watched Harry in the dark pull open his car door.

He swung his body into the car with an almighty groan, one that caused you in your sleepy haze to softly smile. He looked shattered as he relaxed in his seat and rested his head backwards.

With eyes closed he sighed heavily, letting you take him in without a care. You’d noticed that at some point since your nap he’d removed his coat and now he sat in just his t-shirt and jeans. Both, of which, now looked like they had seen better days.

His brow had begun to perspire as he entered the warmth of his car, the quick switch from the Baltic (slight over exaggeration) temperatures outside to those more welcoming inside the G-Wagon could do that to you.

“Don’t think it’s fucked completely,” he said to break the silence, wiping his face and sweat with the back of his hand and wrist, to try and ensure his oil covered fingers didn’t leave any other stains on his skin.

You enjoyed the way he used the back of his hand, wrist and forearm to wipe at his now slightly clammy skin. Stupidly it emphasised how defined his upper body had become. “Dipstick wasn’t as dry as I was expecting,” he continued, “Just topped her up and ‘m ‘oping she turns over and sounds as good as new.”

Again, silence. His eyes staring straight ahead of him, yours enjoying his profile. God, he had a fantastic nose. It was definitely something that your daughter had inherited and you wondered if it would be a feature that a loved one in her life would sometimes admire in the next generation.

“Got any baby wipes wi’ you?” He cut his eyes to yours from the corner of his vision, taking in the way you were curled up in the passenger seat wearing the car blanket of your eldest son.

His eyes lingered on your shape for a while, dropping down and enjoying the way you had curled yourself up and presented to him in such a cosy vision. It meant you felt relaxed around him and that was all he ever wanted.

It was a nice contrast to the emotive happenings between the two of you that had almost become commonplace of late. A foreign feeling that was so simple, but so exciting.

Without verbal response you reached from your handbag that was in the footwell to have a look inside at the contents.

“Don’t wanna leave this car, been a bit spoiled over the last hour or so. Could do with an upgrade myself as they’re all getting older and need a bit more room,” you spoke as you rummaged around, movements still slightly sluggish.

You were successful in finding what you needed, the rustling of the plastic packaging jarring to your ears. Quickly pulling at the cover overlay, you swiftly pulled out a couple of wipes with such a mom-like finesse that had you balancing them on top of the now closed packet as you turned to face Harry.

“Don’t even think about making it a clause in the divorce,” he joked, eyes looking up at you from underneath his brow. His eyebrows snapped up in shock as you snatched at his hand and abruptly pulled at the baby wipes you’d retrieved from inside your handbag.

The two of you fell silent as you wiped at his left hand first, watching the black of the oil slowly leave his fingers. Breathing was heavy in the empty space as you didn’t dare raise your gaze higher to look into his eyes, that you knew were watching you.

“It’s so attractive, how much of a Mum you are,” he dared to say what he really thought as his humoured expression fell away. “Cleaning my hands up nicely, like ‘m your child that’s made a mess of m’dinner.”

“Harry,” you sighed his name, fidgeting softly in your seat. He chuckled in such a husky way that you found yourself softening regardless of the way it riled you.

Releasing his left hand, you reached straight for his right. Seeing the way he caught himself and stopped it before it fell against his lap. He smoothly reached for you, brushing your hair behind your shoulders as it began to curtain across the right side of your face.

“Last time m’hands were this dirty, you were licking and sucking ‘em clean.”

You felt your face begin to heat up from his brazenness.

“Are you blushing for me?” He whispered, his left hand moving along your jaw, to tilt your head upwards. He had a hold of your jaw, slightly rougher than before and while your face played ball, your eyes did not. “‘S been ages since you blushed fo’me.”

Again the sound of breathing filled the car, Harry’s gaze all over your features before his other words punctuated the air, “Look a’me.”

As your eyes moved sharply to the right, you looked at the way he’d lolled his head back. His thumb slowly pulled at your bottom lip, watching the way it softly bounced from his touch, before he lifted it to trace faintly over your Cupid’s bow.

“Missed your lips,” he admitted, enjoying the light puffs of breath that bounced against the pad of his thumb. Before you could think, you’d taken his thumb inside your mouth, an appreciative groan leaving his lips.

You felt the way his fingers cupped under your chin, gently stroking at your skin, silently caressing. Teeth nipping playfully against the skin of his thumb as you pulled away.

“How much?” You asked, lips turning to ghost against the inside of his hand.

His eyes lingered as you watched him nudge his chin up slightly, silently asking for you to come to him.

You sucked in a heavy breath as you leaned into him, the dimming ceiling light of the car slowly allowing darkness to swallow you both. A faint smile nudged your lips as your nose fell against his top lip.

He scooped you under his arm - lining you up better - hands trying to hold you as near to him as he could as you leaned over the centre console of the car to be closer to him.

“Enough,” he husked, before adding, “Your nose is cold,” in a passing tone, lips against your temple now. Breathing deeply through your nose you let him pull you even closer, unable to believe that you weren’t close enough. Muffled apologies left your lips, about how your nose was cold.

The soft drag of his lips to yours pulled you under a haze that swept away your apologies and into a tender reacquaintance. His lips were slightly shaking against yours and you weren’t sure if it was to do with the cold that he had found himself in or if it were due to his nervousness.

Regardless he was steady. Knew exactly what he was doing and what he wanted. Pulling kiss after kiss from you in the slowest fashion that you felt yourself beginning to warm up.

“‘S nice to have a little kiss,” he gently spoke against the corner of your mouth. “Missed you treating me to ‘em.”

“I think you just know exactly what to say,” you murmured as you allowed him to continue ghosting his lips over yours. “Know exactly what you're doing.”

“‘F you’re suggesting that I’m trying it on,” he murmured against your lips, “I absolutely fucking am.”

“Would never have guessed,” you looked at him with heavy eyelids, head now nudged back slightly to enable you to see his entire face. He smirked at you, eyes blinking slowly as he willed you to him once more.

His hand was secure around the back of your neck, fingers messily woven through your hair. His other hand gently massaged at the top of your back, over your fetching loungewear that you had chosen to drive home in.

“‘S it working?”

“What do you think?”

Harry’s eyes dropped in a slow blink as he felt the way your hand lowered down his chest and abdomen, which was wavering slightly from his nervous anticipation.

Dropping your head down to his chest, you left a kiss to his pec as you mumbled and felt the button of his jeans giveway to your fingers and thumb. “I am grateful, you know?”

“Yeah?”

The ruffle of your hair against the cotton of his tee filled the car, him recognising it as you nodding.

“Me too,” he assured.

And he was. Grateful.

For the life he’d had with you up until this point.

The family the two of you had created. The one you were so fiercely fighting for. Messily and viciously, all from a good place. The best place.

He licked at his dry lips, leaving his mouth to hang open slightly as he watched you descend down to his semi that was hidden in the confines of his jeans.

“Both of us need warming up,” he mused, his hands sliding from your hair and down your back, slowly and gently to your slightly raised bum from how you had placed yourself over the center console. “In’t that right?”

A dull slap of his hand against your leggings-clad bum had you rocking back as you felt his hands slide under the waistband to massage at your cheek.

Swallowing heavy, Harry tilted back his head and even through his hooded eyes he caught his blissed expression in the rear view mirror, as he felt you take his balls into your mouth and gently suckle.

He rasped your name as he basked in the dirty licks, heavily laden with saliva from your watering mouth before you took him into your throat. Obscene sounds from your actions wove between his heavy breathing and quick pants.

“Fuck me, darling.”

With his hand that was still against your bum, he pulled you closer. Hands desperate to have purchase of something as you gently but messily sucked and licked, desperate to feel the tickle of his pubic hair against the tip of your nose to know you’d successfully taken him all the way down.

His breathing was shaky, a quick hiss leaving his lips as he felt the way your nails dug into his denim clad thighs from his previous movements to try and hold steady. The position wasn’t ideal, but the feeling of your shaking breath against his wet cock as you nosed against his jeans had him smiling.

As you turned your head slightly to look at him from the corner of your vision, you noticed the way he was looking down at you. How powerful he seemed in that moment as you were slightly beneath him.

The thought changed though with the way his hand came up to your face, his thumb against your wet lips for the shortest time before he cradled the back of your head to help pull you back up and avoid any mishaps.

He tugged you forward to crush his mouth to yours with pleased hums as he tasted himself on you. Lips smacking as he pulled kiss after kiss from your mouth, smiling at the eagerness of you both.

His hands joined yours as they pulled at his jeans, his hips lifting in the seat and his arms strong as he pushed the denim and underwear down to sit closer to his knees.

“Mm,” he hummed, as his bare bum cheeks met the heated seat beneath them. “Put the seats on fo’me.”

“Don’t say I don’t ever treat you nicely.”

He huskily chuckled as he brought your lips back to him again. “Nice an’ warm,” he lazily spoke, acknowledging the heated seats. “Jus’ for me.”

And he knew every bit of his words meant the double entendre that you had caught,looking on as you pulled away to sink back into your own seat

Looking over at him, you noticed the lust behind his eyes as he slowly pumped his hand up and down his wet and aching cock when you sunk back into your own seat and watched his head loll against the headrest once more. His nostrils flared as he bit down on his bottom lip and nudged his chin up, getting you silently to come to him once more when he’d seen your movements in removing your own bottoms had ended.

“Wouldn’t do this for anyone else, y’know that?” You said around your messy kiss as you raised your legs and felt his hands guide you to straddle him. Hands splayed across your lower back and the top half of your bum as he secured you to him.

“Should bloody ‘ope not.”

As you sat above him, you could feel him there. Sprung back and wet. Your mouths rested against each other, heavy and open. Eyes moving to and fro over each other’s.

“Been at this too long to start sharing now.”

Your hips moved forward at his words, with the smallest of motions but it was enough to make his cock glide between your lips. His expression was one of immeasurable pleasure regardless of how little the touch.

Deep down you knew you didn’t have time for this sort of behaviour. The kind where you revelled in the nudge of him against your clit, and the way it caused you to gasp lightly while your brow creased and forehead fell against his.

“Take it,” he encouraged as you rolled your hips on him. “Let me in.”

Heavy breathing and shaking hands, you held Harry’s eyes as you reached behind you to take him in your hand.

Wrapping your fingers around his length, you raised yourself, feeling him shuffle down slightly in his seat to help ensure you didn’t bump your head as you lifted. Fingers gave way when he lined up nicely, slipping only his tip inside of you.

This stretch was one like no other. A burn that you savoured as much as the expression that welcomed you from the desire felt by the only man who had ever made you feel this way. His one hand crawled up your back, to cup around your neck, anchoring you to him.

When you were fully seated shaky exhales bounced against each other’s lips. Every tremble of you above him felt so vividly by Harry. The way your thighs shook from the small confines you found yourself in, to the quiver of your fingers against his neck and jaw.

“You’re so big,” your moan was feeble. Embarrassing in many ways. Especially given the amount of times you’d done this with him.

“Mm,” he agreed. “‘S cause ‘m so hot for you. Got me so hard. Always have.”

“Always will-“

“Always will,” he confirmed.

Your moan was thick as it left your throat, his words enough to get you to roll against him and have you clit drag pleasing against his pelvis.

He groaned, knowing that’s what you were doing too. Having been in this position so many times before. No one had ever had you this way, and you knew no one ever would either. A pleasure this giving was one of familiarity. Aided so deeply by feeling.

When your mouth met his again the only word to describe your kiss was sinful. His tongue waiting to meet yours, flicking so easily and far too filthily for those on the cusp of middle age.

But he still had it.

The gleaming boyish gaze and curling smile. Could charm his way into any heart and into any pair of knickers. But the ones he had chosen time and time again were yours. Regardless of their sexiness at times.

“Yes,” you gasped, pulling away from his mouth and feeling his hands encourage the knocking of your hips against his.

You were close, nowhere to go and not wanting to go anywhere. How you had made it here so quickly, you weren’t sure. Maybe it was the surroundings, how you potentially could get caught. Maybe it was because your partner - husband - just knew you so well.

His eyes didn’t want to leave you as they admired the flushed skin you were beginning to show and the gleaming, plush lips that you were rolling into your mouth to hide your pleasure.

“That’s it, fuck me,” his voice was hushed, quick in its delivery. “‘S wha’ it’s all about,” he hummed, as you rocked your hips over his. Knocking his head back against the headrest once more.

As he looked down his nose at you, he watched as your eyes fell to your navel, taking in each roll of your hips. Your expression dropped with realisation, slightly pained. “What’s wrong?”

Looking up at him, you wish you hadn’t. You wished you’d kept your eyes down to see the ripple of his abdomen each time your body flexed around him. That way it wasn’t doused in emotion, it was just raw pleasure that lived in your mind.

“We shouldn’t be doing this anymore. Needs to be the last time.”

A mix of a breathy laugh and scoff left his lips as he urged you to restart your hips that were starting to stall above him, “Bit late for tha’ now, don’t yer think?”

Falling against him, you hid your face feeling his lips over the shell of your ear and against your hair. His hand gently stroked at your hair, lips moving to your temple and pressing affection kisses that did nothing but make you feel worse.

“Do you want t’stop? Mm?” He asked, feeling your hips so tight against his, but your core so open that he hoped you would say no. Widening his thighs he pressed his feet into the footwell, seeking momentum to meet your hips with his own.

“‘S okay to love me still,” he groused, feeling your chin tremble from his words. “‘S okay to let me love you still. This is okay, us just doing this is okay.”

It wasn’t okay and he knew. He also knew everything he was saying - every single word - was just a way to satiate you.

So, you let them. Swallowed the lump in your throat and inhaled deeply.

His words were cut short as he groaned, “Sit up for me, fuck me properly.”

Sitting yourself up, you felt the way Harry’s hands moved so that the backs of his fingers were smoothing against your lower stomach. Sweaty palm turned, he pressed it gently down your stomach and let his thumb finger your clit.

The softest frown hit your brow, as his thumb slowly rubbed in a downwards motion at your sensitivity. From his actions you felt a warmth pool around both him and you, Harry groaning appreciatively as he felt it too.

“Yeah,” he stressed the word as you gripped at his t-shirt which sat against his stomach. Cotton in handfuls as you scrunched the fabric. “‘S tha’ nice- good?”

You nodded.

“‘S it enough?”

You nodded with more fervour. Eyes holding his as you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth and scratched along his right forearm as he continued to gently swipe at your wet clit.

The abruptness of the rock to your hips showed itself as the warmth within your belly grew. Eyes now hooded, you were unable to stop them from closing as your mouth parted to desperately say, “Don’t stop.”

And you didn’t know who you were talking to; yourself or Harry.

Harry responded with a moan so deep that you clenched down around him, causing his free hand to reach up and squeeze harshly against your hips.

“‘M going to come so hard for you ‘f you keep doing that,” he gritted, breathing shallow as he felt his chest constrict. “Like tha’, just like that.”

His words were low, and like just moments before you weren’t sure if they were for him or you, but they had you moaning his name. Head dropping against his, his hand gripping at the back of your neck.

With one hard roll of your hips, you cried out, forehead against his chin and mouth fallen. His hand squashed between your bodies as you shook and convulsed.

Pliant for him, you were too dazed to move as you felt his arm wrap securely around your back and hold you to him, tight.

A merciless and repeated smack of his hips upwards, which you were sure would have the car rocking, made you aware of him seeking his release. He moaned your name, as he pulled you down to him, his orgasm shooting into you.

His heavy breathing was hot against your sweltering skin when you finally came to, his grunts melding into your neck as your core continued to flutter in the aftermath of your own release.

His hands somewhat selfishly and most definitely greedily moved you against him, both crooning at the sensitive rush that met you before he lifted you to aid himself with slipping out.

Cold air met his sensitivity, as he nuzzled against you. Hand crawling up your back, under your shirt and feeling your damp skin peel away from his own as he moved his hand up and down.

“Want to try out the back wi’me after this,” he hummed, brushing your hair off your face with his other hand. His words were heavy as they pressed into the skin of your cheek while he still tried to catch his breath.

As much as you knew you should, you didn’t even try to stop yourself from nodding.

***

Looking forward to hearing all of your thoughts! x

#Harry Styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles x y/n #my writing #divorce!harry

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manianart · 3 years ago

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Unlikely Allience pt1

Months.

It had been months now since Sheriff had joined the Nexus project and it only took him a week of that to regret his decision. Phobos and Auditor turned out to be real and true psychopaths. They didn’t care to make everything better or to turn reality back to normal.

No. They only cared for power.

Sheriff rubbed a hand down his face. It had been days since the last time he had gotten anything even resembling sleep. His last interaction with Phobos had robbed him of the ability to fall asleep. He had lost a locator chip for one of their deliveries to one of the rebels. And he had paid for it.

Rubbing at his stomach he winced as some of the cuts from that interactions still gave off a sore sting. The door on his “office”, which was honestly more of a broom closet than a true office given to him by Auditor to keep him out of the way, suddenly slammed open, making him jump slightly. Phobos stepped inside, his face scrunched up in anger as always as he glared at Sheriff.

Ph: “You! We got work for you. Come!”

Sheriff held onto his chest, his heart racing at the sudden loud noise, before nodding and rushing after the other man, who had already left. They walked towards the facilities interrogation cells.

Strange.

Those hadn’t been used in a long while. Whenever they found a rebel in the city they usually just shot them. They had tried to interrogate them when they first captured them but they all said the same thing, nothing interesting or important, so at some point they just started to shoot them.

Two guards were waiting outside one of the cells. The doors to the cells were reinforced and thick as a grown mans forearm. Who were they keeping in that room that needed two additional guards?

His questions were clearly showing on his face apparently as Phobos answered them by simply opening the door.

Hank.

Hank J. Wimbleton was sitting at the table in that cell, bound to the chair he had been placed on. Sheriff felt a shiver run down his spine at the sight of the other man. A growl made Sheriff tense up and look next to him.

Phobos was looking even angrier now, glaring at Hank before sharply turning his head towards the Sheriff.

Ph: “Normally I’d never give you this job, you are far too incompetent to do this right, but I have no other choice right now! I have to finish an important mission so I can’t do it myself. Just ask him the questions on the paper I left you and DON’T fuck it up, got that?!”

Sheriff flinched a bit at the last sentence, nodding quickly. Phobos huffed out hard, glaring at the other a moment longer before nodding and heading off, taking the guards with him. Sheriff looked after them, worried. Phobos was almost up the stairs, the cells being in the basement, when he sharply turned once more.

Ph: “The alarm is on. No guards needed now.” “You’re disposable” is what Sheriff got from that sentence. He wanted to yell back, anger rising, but as soon as it started to rise Phobos had turned, walked the last few steps back up the stairs and was out of sight.

Sheriffs shoulders slumped again, seeing that he had missed his opportunity. Carefully looking over to where Hank sat he flinched as he met the others stare. Hank was glaring at him, his anger and venom even trumping Phobos. Sheriff started to shiver before quickly looking away towards the table. There it was, the piece of paper Phobos had put some questions on for Sheriff to read out. Uneasiness still making his motions stiff and machine-like he sat down opposite Hank, trying desperately to ignore the others menacing glare stuck on him. He swallowed a few times trying to regain his voice but soon he just sighed, accepting that this wouldn’t be easy.

Slowly looking up he swallowed one more time before starting the questioning.

Half an hour later and it was clear that Hank wasn’t going to answer him, having kept silent with a dead glare the whole time Sheriff asked the questions given to him. Sheriff sighed, his heart really not in it anymore by now. He was tired. Tired and hurting and so so done with this all. Looking up for the first time in 15 minutes he met Hanks eyes. Hanks glare had dulled down to an angry but bored expression. Sheriff must’ve looked pretty damn terrible because he saw the other mans expression shift ever so slightly as he looked up. Why was he even still doing this? This was ridiculous. His heart wasn’t in it anymore and he knew it. He just wanted out. But he knew that his only escape would be death and he really didn’t want to end his own life like that. He wasn’t ready to do that...he was a coward.

An idea suddenly made Sheriff perk up a bit. Hank. He could use Hank for that. Not just to end his own suffering but Hank did want to stop the Nexus project so if he set him free he’d not only help himself but all the other people caught up in this shit.

Sheriff got up fast, nearly tipping over his chair and even getting a questioning look from Hank. Good. On camera it would look like he was just too frustrated to continue. Just to be sure Sheriff mumbled a small “eff this” before leaving the room as fast as he could, slamming the door just for theatrical emphasis.

Once outside he looked around the corridor. No more cameras, great! Rushing over to the room where the recording control panels and the alarm controls were stored he quickly disabled everything. Video, audio and alarm all turned off to really ensure Hank had enough time to get out of the basement. With that done Sheriff swallowed down some of his anxiety about the next part. He slowly got up again, having leaned down over the panels he was now straightening himself out again until he stood tall once more. Or well, as tall as someone could stand that was facing his certain death. Slowly he made his way back over to the interrogation room, a small knife in his hand that he had kept hidden inside his jacket just in case. Once there he opened the door and stepped inside quickly, closing the door behind himself so if any Grunts came by they wouldn’t be interrupted. H: “You done just asking hmh? But if you want to torture infromation out of me that knife is too small.” Sheriff flinched at the others voice but didn’t really pay any mind to the words that were being said.

He was too focused on his task at hand. Slowly walking over to Hank he made sure the other couldn’t reach out to him too fast. He at least wanted to explain what he was doing.

Sh: “I’ll cut you loose now.”

H: “WHAT?!” Sh: “With Phobos gone you’ll be able to get out of the building almost effortlessly. Just head up and then left and you’ll be pretty much out already. You can use my key card for the door. I turned off all video and audio recordings around and the alarm is off too. Just… once you are cut loose...make it quick, okay? Please don’t let it hurt too bad when you…” Sheriff swallowed hard.

Sh: “When you knock me out. I know I’m a coward for asking this of you but...please.” Sheriff exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding before slowly approaching Hank and starting to cut him loose. First the legs then the arms and then the torso. Once his work was done he just let himself fall to his knees, the knife he had been using clattering to the floor and sliding away from him.

It was done. No turning back now.

Hank stood tall, looming over him for a few moments.

H: “Why?”

Sh: “... guess I just realized that these guys really aren’t the people I want to be affiliated with.” Hank nodded.

Sh: “Make it quick, okay?”

H: “Chair.”

Sheriff furrowed his brows.

Did he just misshear the other? Did Hank say fair and had his mask just muffled his words. Before Sheriff could even fully turn towards the other to ask he felt something hit his head full force and his world went black.

--Hanks POV of all this--

He had cursed himself when he had gotten caught but better him than the others. He could withstand a lot more and he was sure he’d be able to break free at some point eventually.

Once they had brought him to a cell and bound him to a chair that hope had somewhat waned but he hadn’t given his worries away.

Phobos, the one eyed freak, had laughed at him and promised all sorts of ways he’d torture the answers to his questions out of him but in the middle of his rambling he had gotten a message and his twisted smile turned into a scowl to filled with anger it reminded Hank of the time someone tried to take away 2Bs laptop.

He had to snort at the thought of what 2B had done to the person making Phobos turn towards him, almost foaming from his mouth. More yelling but this time anger was the cause. Hank just looked uninterested at that point. Phobos wanted to yell more but got a second message. Hank smiled as the other man left the room, his walking speed indicating his anger. He had hoped he’d get some time to think about how to break out but only 15 minutes later Phobos reappeared at the door.

Hank shot him an angry glare and noticed that he wasn’t alone. The Sheriff was with him. Hank shot a death glare towards the cowardly Sheriff, knowing that the man would flinch and start to show signs of fear. Hank reveled in that fact, being able to strike fear into a man even when he was bound and unable to fight and or kill.

He heard Phobos bark orders towards the Sheriff, making the man flinch again before rushing off. Sheriff looked after the other for a while before sighing and walking over to a chair to sit across from Hank, picking up a piece of paper on a clip board and starting to read out questions.

When did that get there? Oh well, whatever. Hank just kept glaring at the other, completely blanking out his voice.

It must’ve been about half an hour before the other man started to slow and eventually stop his questions all together. Hank saw him deflate as he looked up for the first time in a while to meet his eyes. He looked tired. Tired and...sad? Hank felt his facade fall for a second, feeling almost bad for the other man for some unknown reason.

A minute or two passed before the other man suddenly jumped up from his chair with an “eff this” muttered under his breath. Sheriff stormed out the door, leaving Hank to ponder what the man would do when Phobos found out that he had gotten not a single answer out of him. Sheriff and Phobos didn’t seem to be getting along all that well. Hank wasn’t surprised. The Sheriff was a coward.

Hank had started to think about his escape again when the door was opened again. The Sheriff stood in the door for a moment, a knife in his hand.

H: ““You done just asking hmh? But if you want to torture infromation out of me that knife is too small.”

Hank wanted the other to leave again to get better equipment. Partially to get him away to have time to think and partially because Hank felt kind of insulted by that ditzy little knife. Seriously, what did the Sheriff think Hank could withstand?

Sheriff started slowly walking over to Hank, making sure Hank couldn’t reach out to him.

Sh: “I’ll cut you loose now.”

Hank blinked.

Sheriff paused, seeming to swallow a lump in his throat.

Sh: “When you knock me out. I know I’m a coward for asking this of you but...please.”

Right after that request the Sheriff got to work, slicing through Hanks restraints with the small knife. It only took seconds before Hank could stand up. The first thing he did was stretch, his back popping a few times as he did.

He turned to the other man, who was kneeling on the floor now, looking terribly small.

H: “Why?”

Sh: “... guess I just realized that these guys really aren’t the people I want to be affiliated with.” Hank nodded.

Sh: “Make it quick, okay?”

Hank gave that a thought. The Sheriff seemed to really be at the end of his wits but...it felt wrong to kill the man now.

H: “Chair.”

Hank grabbed a hold of the chair he had just been bound to seconds before, seeing it was a foldable chair. Walking up to the Sheriff he reeled back and hit the man with the chair, knocking him out cold and leaving him unconscious before he even hit the floor.

What now?

Hank leaned over the Sheriff, grabbing the knife and putting it in his pocket just in case. Looking at the man before him he felt a pang of...something. Did he really want to kill this man? It doesn’t seem like he was even worth killing anymore now. Then again, leaving him here would definitely get him killed either way. Hank gave a long groan, rubbing the bridge of his nose not really believing what he was about to do.

Leaning down again he picked up the other man, surprised at how light he was, and threw him over his shoulder.

Rummaging around in the others pocket beforehand to find the key card the other had mentioned and strolling out the complex the way the other had described.

Soon they were in a small apartment used by the resistance as hideout. Once there Hank tied up the Sheriff, just because the man was pathetic didn’t mean Hank trusted the other to not run and tattle on one of their hideouts.

Now he’d have to wait.

5 hours later Sheriff stirred awake

--original POV--

Sheriff awoke with his head pounding like crazy. Where was he? Wait. He was still alive. Moving around a little he felt something restraining his wrists and ankles. Now he started to breathe faster. This wasn’t good. Had Phobos come back early and intervened?

If that was the case Sheriff wanted nothing of what was to come. Starting to struggle he seized up as a low voice reached his ears.

H: “Stop moving, you’ll hurt yourself. Don’t wanna waste medical supplies on you just because you decide it’d be fun to be stupid.”

Sheriffs vision was still blurry but it only took him a few seconds to realize that that voice did not belong to Phobos but instead the man he had freed earlier. He looked over, relaxing a bit.

Hank stood from the chair he had been sitting on, a look on his face Sheriff couldn’t place.

Oh no. Did he just bring him along to torture him?

H: “Jeez. What did they do to you in that shit organization of theirs to make you relax when you see the man that tried to and succeeded in killing you before?”

Sheriff blinked a few times at that. His brain was still slow so it took him a while to respond.

Sh: “I-..uhm..where-?”

H: “My hideout. I’ll keep you around just in case. Plus, you might be able to tell me some interesting things about the organization.” Sheriff nodded at that, hoping Hank wouldn’t ask any questions too soon. Because if he did he’d find out that Sheriff too didn’t know that much.

H: “For now I thought of a solution to keep you where you are without having to supervise you 24 / 7”

At that Hank brought up a long chain with a cuff attached to it. Sheriff followed the long chain over to a wall where the second cuff was attached to a heater. The chain was long enough for him to move around the room and maybe even the other two attached rooms but probably not long enough to let him reach the front door.

He sighed. Well, it was better than being dead or getting tortured at least.

Soon the cuff was around his ankle.

H: “I’ll remove the other restraints now. Don’t be stupid!”

Sheriff nodded, holding out his wrists and ankles and waiting patiently for the other to do as he said.

Once free he rubbed his reddened skin a bit to soothe the ache.

Sh: “. . . what now?”

H: “I’m heading to bed. Yours is right over there. DO NOT try anything stupid or I’ll put a bullet in your head faster than you can blink!”

Sheriff gave a quick nod at that, shying away from the other as he loomed over him.

With that and a last warning glare Hank left the room.

Sheriff watched him walk out and close the door behind himself. Looking over to where Hank had pointed he saw a basic bed with a pillow and some sheets. With wobbly legs he got up from the chair he had been in and made his way over to the bed only to collapse onto it and curl into a tight ball.

What was going to happen now? Did he make the right choice? What would Hank do once he found out that Sheriff wasn’t of any use? All these questions slowly faded into the background as Sheriff curled up even more, flinging the blanket that was provided to him over himself and closing his eyes.

He could think about all those things tomorrow. For now all he wanted to do was sleep away the headache and other aches riddling his body.

#madness combat #Madcom #madcom fanart #madcom fanfic #madcom hank #madcom sheriff #hank j. wimbleton #take this

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florrickandassociates · 3 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 5x08-- And the détente had an end...

I did not like this episode! I had many problems with it! More under the cut...

A purple line is painted on a curb and then we’re watching footage of Wackner’s show. Question: do they only wear the costumes when it’s a low profile case? It was very noticeable they didn’t have them on in the cancel culture episode, and they don’t have them on in the Julius scenes in this episode...

Also, can I pretend that the horse and cat wearing tiara are meant to be BoJack and Princess Carolyn?

Del is remote-watching a focus group about Wackner’s show when Liz walks in. He refers to Wackner as “your guy” and Liz replies, “Must not be going well if you’re calling him my guy.” Sounds like “why is she my stripper when she does something bad?”

The focus group is in Vegas “where the real Americans live.” The clips from Wackner’s show being tested seem to be only the most ridiculous ones. Unsurprisingly, the focus group hates the show.

And here is my first question: Why are they testing a version of Wackner’s show that seems to be exclusively silliness? I know, you know, the writers know, and Del knows that that’s not funny.

Wackner Rules is not a good title.

I love Liz being amused by the focus group going poorly.

Why don’t people like Wackner Rules? Well, the cases are stupid—fights over barking dogs, shoes that don’t fit. They’d rather see burglary or robbery. This is silly, because while I’m sure most of Wackner’s cases are silly, we've seen a fair number of cases with a little more substance (or at least zaniness that makes them less mundane), including the one with the high profile comedian that was filmed explicitly to be part of this reality show. So is Wackner Rules, despite its cases financed by David Cord, just the most boring shit possible? And if so, why? Again, everyone involved here knows better than that.

Also is this just Del’s pet project? Is that why he is producing it, testing it, and approving it?

Liz rolls her eyes at the “wisdom of the crowd” on display. Then she shuts the laptop without realizing what she’s doing and jokes around about it.

If I were Del and my partner had just disparaged my work and then shut down my laptop while I was working, I would be furious. However, this is a bad episode of a television show and I love Liz so I am amused.

Del goes to fill Wackner in on how the focus group went. Wackner does not care about the opinions of twelve people. (This is funny, given that he has decided he is the most important person when it comes to making decisions and also that juries have twelve people too.)

No, dear god, no, please do not make me sit through tiny office jokes again. Have we transported back in time to season seven of TGW? I hated the door slamming against Eli’s desk then and I hate the sudden addition of this “joke” to Wackner’s chambers now.

The calendar says February 2021. Is it supposed to be February?

Apparently, the focus group likes the court, the costumes, and, mostly, Marissa. Just not the cases.

Marissa’s all, “well what do they want, a murder case?” and Del gives her a look like, “Can you???”

Again, the cases weren’t so silly they were boring in any other episodes and we know that Del/Wackner/Cord were meeting to discuss the best test cases for TV. So, like, how did people waste their time and energy making this obviously awful episode of TV for the focus group? No one involved is that clueless and it makes me dislike this plot.

AND RIGHT AFTER LAST EPISODE WHERE THE CASE ESCALATED TO THE POINT OF PRISON? I think that’s maybe my biggest complaint about this plot, and this episode as a whole. The last episode gave the this season a lot of momentum. Prison! Stakes are raised! Will Marissa say anything!? How much power is too much power for Wackner?! And then we get this episode, and it’s like, jk, forget about all that, now Wackner’s cases are drying up and everyone involved has zero critical thinking skills and we’re going to forget the prison thing ever happened!

“His court needs this show. Look at Trump. He wasn’t shit until The Apprentice,” Del tells Marissa after Wackner exits. Marissa does not react to the Trump reference, which may be the low point of this episode. Does Marissa Gold want to build the next Trump!? Is Marissa Gold not concerned that someone has just suggested that the goal of her show is to make someone in to Trump!? Hello?! This is not a reference you drop casually! I would be concerned about partnering with Del if I heard this! Marissa would be too! So why isn’t she?!

Also, this line + the “real Americans” as the target audience for Wackner’s show + the USA! Chanting at the end make me think the point here is somehow supposed to be about Trump and, like, cults of personality? I don’t really see it but I’ll reserve judgement until I see where Wackner’s arc ends up.

Julius heads to Wackner’s court to meet with Cord. He pitches them on his new firm. How is Julius going to start a new firm already? Wasn’t RL the only place that would take him? And pitching Cord on a firm with the 20% of staff that was laid off is a stupid idea, too. As Cord says, hiring the people laid off means hiring the “B-Team.” I dunno if that is actually true, but I know that Cord and anyone else who knows those were the people who were laid off will see it that way. Why is this in Julius’s business pitch? Like, is Cord wondering where Julius would get employees from? Is that a question?

Reddick & Lockhart, Julius says, is no longer eligible for no-bid government contracts. I want to know why: is this because RL is actually STR Laurie, or is this because Diane is white? If the latter, then you’d think we’d hear a little more about it...

Why is Cord calling the Copy Coop somewhere near the courthouse in a business district in Chicago “the middle of nowhere”?

Anyway, Cord passes on the new firm because it is not innovative and it does not disrupt anything.

Then Julius pitches the firm but with known-innovator Diane Lockhart and her client list. Cord is kind of interested. Cord cares that much about Diane? Alright.

Julius, after involving Diane, calls her to tell her what he’s done. When he gets back to his car, he is being given a ticket for parking in a purple zone. A purple zone is, apparently, court staff parking for Wackner’s court.

Julius rips up the ticket, then gets another ticket for destroying the ticket, and another ticket for destroying that ticket.

Wackner asks Marissa to find out how he can get out of the reality show. Marissa refuses and says she’s going to find out how they’re portraying Wackner, since the show benefits him. This is because he has “fewer cases this week than the week before, and fewer than the week before that. This court goes away unless more people know you’re here.” What? Where did that come from? I’m so confused. Last week Wackner had infinite money and a prison and was dealing with cases with settlements in the millions and famous comedians. Now his audience is dwindling and I’m supposed to care about this plotline? Thanks, but I cared about the plot you already sold me on, writers!

Hey, wasn’t there a thread at some point in this season about David Lee bugging Liz’s office? Odds we ever hear about that again?

Diane does not like Julius’s new firm idea. “David Lee is insisting that I stay,” Diane says, as though David Lee actually has that kind of power over her.

Julius points out that all the other partners are threatening to resign unless Diane is replaced, and “at a certain point, it won’t matter what David Lee says.” Diane says she’ll think about it.

Julius tries to talk to Cord again and finds that his car has been towed. This scene is too long, and watching Julius get confused by shifting, fake rules feels a little too much like the first Memo 618 episode. This episode only has a 40-minute run-time and we spend a lot of it on building up this plot. I don't really get why. Sure, it’s fun to watch people act incredulous, but we already know Wackner’s court is trying to put some muscle behind its authority (violence to encourage compliance, literal prison) so I don’t know why we need to spend so much time on what feels like a lower key bizarro version of a theme we are already aware of.

Just, like, do a boring ass case of the week episode if you don’t have ideas. Don’t regress the plotting and kill the momentum.

SPEAKING of killing momentum, remember how Carmen got a stellar introduction, a few episodes of development, and then pretty much disappeared for several consecutive episodes?

Then there’s another one of these scenes where Julius tries to get his car and more and more people enforce Wackner’s fake ticket.

I do not like “Wackner’s City of Chicago” being on the seal. I think he'd have something more clever than that on the seal.

David Lee calls Cord in to pitch him on bringing over all of his business. This scene confuses me, because you’d think Cord would be a big get for giant corporation STR Laurie. But no, David Lee wants Cord to bring his West Coast, East Coast, and Europe business to boutique firm Reddick Lockhart. Or, at least, that’s what Cord’s hesitance suggests to me.

Cord tells David Lee that Diane is leaving and that he won’t go to a firm that is breaking apart. David Lee denies it.

THIS sounds like the Hitting the Fan score.

David Lee insists that Liz and Diane drop what they’re doing and come up to his office. They do.

David asks Diane if she’s leaving. She says she was asked to join another firm, and that she was told that the equity partners are planning to resign unless she resigns, so she’s considering it.

“No one is threatening to resign without my permission,” David responds. Those must be some contracts if he is this powerful...

David warns Diane about poaching clients and she’s all, they’re free to leave if they want (ah, so they’re free to leave when you’re leaving but they’re your clients and can be stolen when YOU’RE losing them, I see). Liz is irritated by all of this and pre-accuses Diane of stealing clients after what she’s already done to keep her position. Fair.

David asks Diane what her issues are. “I’m a name partner being squeezed out of the decision making process,” she says. “And why is that, Diane?” Liz asks. “Because of my race!” Diane insists. “Because no one respects your decision to stay in your position. It is not yours by right,” Liz says.

“I’ve fought as hard as anyone here to keep this firm solvent. And I didn’t inherit this firm. I was invited in, and I earned...” OOOH FINALLY WE ARE GOING TO ADDRESS THAT LIZ HAD NO EXPERIENCE RUNNING A FIRM BEFORE THIS ONE FELL INTO HER LAP. Shame it’s a throwaway line.

STRL’s presence both adds and removes tension here. I wish they pushed this a little further. Sometimes David Lee seems to be functioning as an outside mediator; sometimes he has more power. What’s the point of all of these dilemmas and battles if at the end of the day, STRL owns and controls everything? How much can RL really mean to them? There’s even an RL in their name that doesn't stand for Reddick/Lockhart. I just don’t understand what it means to be a name partner in a black firm when that firm is actually controlled by some giant company. The way I see it, Diane should want out of RL because she’s past retirement age and being controlled by David Lee and that can’t be fun, and Madeline et al should want out because the mandate to focus on profit over social justice is not mostly coming from Diane or even Adrian’s legacy... it’s coming from the giant power and profit hungry corporation that owns you!

David has Diane and Liz stand on opposite sides of his desk. “Are you gonna spank us?” Liz says. I love funny Liz. Funny Liz is my favorite. But you know what I wish we also got more of? Liz’s thought process in general.

David’s point with this is that David is going to “come live and work with” Diane and Liz if they don’t figure it out themselves. I know they can’t easily get out from under STRL but Adrian did it so there’s surely a way to resign... this feels so demoralizing... I can’t believe Diane just takes this.

As they walk downstairs, Liz says, “If you’re going to leave, there’s nothing to talk about. “Liz, I don’t want to leave this firm. And you don’t want me to leave. So why don’t we hire a partner to replace Boseman?”

(1) I like that they’re acknowledging that Liz and Diane clearly want to work together and like working together and are having this fight mostly because they have to have this fight, not because they actually want to. Pretty much nothing Liz has done suggests she actually wants Diane to step down and pretty much nothing Diane has done suggests she actually wants to switch firms. So good, that’s text instead of subtext now.

(2) Weren’t they going to hire a partner to replace Boseman in the first place? Why didn’t that just... happen then and avoid all this?

Liz says she’ll think about it, but we all know that this is what she and Diane both want. This is where they should’ve been weeks ago.

OMG okay I knew they had talked about it before! In 5x02 Diane suggests this strategy from the start! Why does it go away!? It’s clearly the right strategy and doing it that early could’ve prevented a lot of conflict and tension. At this point, it feels almost too little, too late. What’s it going to do other than smooth things over with Diane and Liz?

They really are keeping the cameras rolling for Julius’s dumb parking ticket thing? Guarantee this does not make Wackner look good. As trivial as parking spaces seem, this feels like the sort of issue that would really piss off a lot of people. Maybe that would make good TV, but you want people to like and trust Wackner to keep people coming back to a reality show...

Julius, being Julius, refuses to apologize to Wackner and make the whole issue go away. I think why this rubs me—and so many others; I have seen nothing but negativity about this episode among friends and on the internet—the wrong way is that this feels like power for the sake of power. It is trivial, self-important (“Wackner’s City of Chicago”), disconnected from anything resembling reality. That’s not to say anything else about Wackner has been realistic, but the writers have been walking a very fine line between surreal, allegorical storytelling and straining credulity. This feels so mundane and unneeded that I actually have an easier time accepting that Wackner has created his own prison system than I do accepting that he’s tried to reserve parking spaces for his staff. At least with a prison, I see the larger-than-life point the writers are trying to make.

The parking attendant tells Wackner she wants to add more reserved spaces up the street and Wackner is like, oh, good! I don’t understand! Who is this lady that just wants to enforce Wackner’s rules? Does she want more spaces because it’s kind of a powertrip to give people tickets? Why do they need more reserved staff parking when cases are dwindling? Who is Wackner’s staff? Why do they need more parking?

And like, it’s one thing when Wackner’s antics affect people who are part of his little bubble, since they all have agreed to be there. How can he just reserve street parking? Wouldn’t this get shut down in a day? Julius would NOT be the only one furious.

Then Julius decides to steal Wackner’s book of seals so he can make it look like his ticket is paid.

So if they have footage from the cancel culture episode of Wackner Rules, why wouldn’t they have used it? We see it here, in the editing room, so why are the cases so boring again? (I’m sorry, I know I've said this like 1000 times, but it’s bothering me so much that this episode isn’t even internally consistent.)

(This whole plot is a time-filling detour tbh. I have no problem believing Wackner Rules could be an interesting TV show seeing as how I am watching it as part of an interesting TV show, so I don’t get why we need to spend all this time on how this obviously bad first draft of the show is bad and that it can be improved by fixing a non-existent problem? Also, there are zero stakes because Del owns the show and is also the one deciding whether or not to air the show.)

(Like, there could be a version of this where the focus group really helps us get into where Wackner’s stuff does and doesn’t translate and the changes he’s asked to make and how the fact it’s television changes the court, blah blah blah. Instead, the premise seems to be that the show is capturing what Wackner’s court was like in the days before Marissa or Cord or Del became involved, which makes no sense and is also boring!)

They’re mentioning Marissa being in the IDF again. This comes up because the re-edit of Wackner Rules is all about Marissa. This is kind of fun and meta! Marissa would definitely be a favorite on a reality show!

It turns out this re-edit is mostly about how the editor has a huge crush on Marissa.

I know that these tv writers know the process for tv writing and production better than I possibly could. I still do not believe that this reality show has one producer (Del) and an editor who is making executive decisions about the content of the show, and that this is for some reason happening in a mobile trailer parked outside of the court. Surely there would be meetings about what direction to take, not just a vague instruction to “make it better”?

In case I needed more evidence that the writers did not bring their A-game for this episode, we get Diane talking to RBG, again, because apparently now there are no other ways to clue us in on what Diane’s thinking. This is just lazy.

The RBG thing worked for me in 5x06 because it felt like a novel way for Diane to get to talk out loud, and that episode that wouldn’t have worked if we didn’t have a way to see what Diane was thinking. Here, it feels like the writers are doing it because they did it before and it worked and it’s thematically connected and it’s easy.

Doesn’t this entire scene just radiate laziness????

I know not every episode can be great but just don’t try to do something interesting and innovative if you’re going to half ass it.

I’m not even bothered by the thought that Diane daydreams about conversations with RBG. I buy that. I just don’t need this conversation (which feels way too much like it’s supposed to be an actual conversation for my taste).

OMG please stop talking about how RBG and Scalia were friends, I beg you, if you’re going to do this device again can you at least have a different conversation.

So much exposition. Diane knows someone named Allegra through EMILY’s List and thinks she’ll be a perfect choice for the third partner. Diane did hear she had a meltdown, though.

Julius gets arrested for stealing Wackner’s sticker book. When he starts shouting about how it’s a fake court, the officer is like, “As real as Officer McFinely’s death?” calling back to the last episode. I do find it interesting the police would be willing to overlook Wackner’s complete disregard for the law because of a grudge involving the law firm, and I like that choice.

Allegra is basically a slightly more toned-down version of Elsbeth. She has a messy, rented office, and trails off mid-thought. Since she’s kind of a familiar character type, I’m not overly impressed by her, but she’ll be fine to add some little bits of humor to the office drama, I think. My hope is that they use her in small doses, because I have a low tolerance for quirk.

Allegra’s office has tons of books. I can’t see what most of them are, but she has a copy of The Nix, and I liked that book! It’s the only fiction title I can spot; the rest seems like political commentary or pop sociology/business stuff.

Diane mentioning her RBG hallucinations to Allegra is probably a very smart way to win over Allegra.

Marissa encourages the editor, whose crush is so obvious it’s uncomfortable, to put Wackner’s outburst in the show. The one about how Del is using the show to rehabilitate the comedian!? Why would Del air that?! How does this help anything?! If the goal is to get Wackner’s court more cases, why would this make anyone choose to take their case there?

The police bring Julius to Wackner’s court, which I have a slight bit of trouble believing (not that any of this is believable, but you know what I mean—I don’t feel like it’s logical given everything else I know about this premise) but I'll roll with.

Now there’s some ridiculous, awful fake lawyer who was “devil’s advocate” with devil horns in the last episode and David Cord is prosecuting Julius and... what the actual fuck is going on in this scene? This Devil’s Advocate man would not have lasted a second in what we’ve seen of Wackner’s court before this point—he is an obvious liar and showman who Wackner would have no patience for. And if Cord has a bone to pick with Julius, this is an odd way of showing it, because it feels like Cord is there as a familiar face and not for a story reason.

Like, does Cord actively HATE Julius? Is... that supposed to be the point of this?

Seriously though, Devil’s Advocate would get like two sentences into his story about how Julius grew up poor before Wackner would make him stop, and if he got farther than that, Julius interrupting to ask “What are you talking about?” would’ve prompted Wackner to hold up that “cut the shit” card.

This humor is so fucking lazy. In the worst moments of this show, they take gags that have previously been successful and run with them until you can’t believe you ever found them endearing. That’s this scene.

Also it just occurred to me when I referenced the “Cut the Shit” card that we’ve seen Wackner be able to get audience responses to his cases. Seems to me like you pretty much already have your focus group results, no? You do more of the things that make the live audience excited and fewer of the things that make them get up and leave. The things that the live audience plays along with and reacts to are the catch phrases you’re going to put on merchandise. I’m not a TV producer and this is very obvious to me.

Instead of telling this lying lawyer to stop, Wackner instead asks the court musician to play “This is Us like music.” Make it stop. I don’t know who finds this funny but it’s not me!

Can you IMAGINE the fake reality show airing any of this? I dislike it and I know all of the players and context.

There is a shot of Del looking excited to see what’s going to happen. I’m sorry, but if Del’s instincts are this bad I just do not believe he runs a streaming service. Maybe his main role is to do the business stuff, not the content stuff? (But if so, why’s he always hanging around Wackner’s court?)

This episode is full of extremely essential scenes, like Marissa and the editor having sex as they watch footage of Marissa. Good for Marissa, I guess? This could’ve really easily just been implied. And if you really want to give Marissa more material, give her an arc, not a hookup where the focus of the sex scene is the editor dude. Or, like, just let her react to the whole prison revelation from the last episode. WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT HOW WACKNER IS SENDING PEOPLE TO PRISON?

Liz and Allegra meet. Allegra makes it sound like it is about her book but then she’s extremely (and intentionally, I think) obvious that she’s there to be the third partner and that Diane scouted her.

What is the point of Allegra asking if Liz has a view of Willis Tower and misidentifying the building? Presumably Allegra lives in Chicago, so you’d think she’d know its most recognizable building by sight (and would probably also call it the Sears Tower).

Liz likes Allegra.

Now there are a ton of cops in court and Del is loving the drama. Sure, it’s dramatic, but is this really want you want to air? Some convoluted thing where a bunch of police officers intimidate a lawyer who works at a firm that was unfairly linked to a cop killing because that lawyer refused to pay a parking ticket issued by a fake court? Who... who is this for?! What’s the angle? Who is amused by this?

Marissa sees Julius is the defendant and jumps into action. She asks Wackner why he’s prosecuting Julius and he says it’s his job. She argues that Julius is from their firm and this is bullshit. Wackner still won’t let him go.

If Julius is from the firm and Wackner employs the firm, is Julius NOT covered under the court employee banner? Why do I even care.

Wackner acts like he’s just not bending the rules, just like Marissa wanted. I’m not interested in this enough to decide whether I agree that this is consistent or think this is actually a different scenario. I just want to be done with this episode so I can forget about it.

I imagine—maybe hope is a better word—that this episode is bad because it’s hard to write five great episodes in a row without kind of phoning one in. I wish this episode didn’t kill the momentum coming out of 5x07 but I’m hoping that it is an isolated issue and not a drop in quality that will also spoil 5x09 and 5x10.

Wackner closes the door on Marissa, which I think is supposed to be meaningful, and Marissa calls Diane down to Wackner’s court to help Julius.

Diane and Liz both go to court. “I’m about to be sent to prison for parking in a purple zone,” Julius explains. “What does that mean?” Diane asks. “If I explained it to you, it wouldn’t make any more sense,” Julius says.

Oh so now we remember that Wackner’s prison exists. When I said I wanted more about it, I didn’t mean that I wanted it looming as a threat... I meant I wanted to explore what it meant that Wackner was promoting prisons...

Diane asks if they should call the police, “the real ones.” I like that it takes her a second longer than Liz and Julius to understand the cops are real. Liz also notes that the SA’s office won’t help either because they might be happy with anything that fucks with RL. This scene is decent. Some of the themes in here are decent. It just feels poorly timed and with the emphasis in the wrong place. I imagine the goal here is to show that Wackner is now more concerned with enforcement than with the process for trials, and that enforcement brings with it a lot of uncomfortable questions. I wish that we’d spend less time on the incredulous reactions and silliness and more time reckoning with those questions.

The next focus group likes the Wackner anger outburst, because, in Del’s mind, they want to see Wackner care about something. Does Del have the worst judgment ever? Wackner looks invested in every single thing he does—how could anyone accuse him of not seeming like he cares? His whole thing, the whole thing that got Del’s attention, is that he pays each case the kind of individualized attention it deserves. Now he only looks like he cares if he blows up? Even if the thing he’s caring about in the explosion in question is his own reputation? Is Del trying to make Wackner into a mid-2010s anti-hero? And if so... why?

Wackner’s outburst that accuses Del of corruption is apparently so good it got an unprecedented “95%” from the focus group. Sure. Why not.

Then Del tells him to keep doing cases “just like this” and they’ll keep the court going. Does that mean just like the ALREADY HIGH PROFILE AND ALREADY HAND PICKED FOR TELEVISION cancel culture case, or cases like the Julius case? If the first, well, duh, that’s why they picked that case in the first place. If the second, again, why?

“You and your colleagues think you get to decide when and how justice is determined. You think it is your right to make and break the rules as you see fit,” Wackner says to Julius. UM, WACKNER, THAT IS LITERALLY YOUR ENTIRE DEAL???????????????????????????

That’s the point, right????? Please tell me the point of this is that Wackner is supposed to look totally hypocritical and like an egomaniac who thinks his own judgment should not be questioned but everyone else’s should be????????????????????????? If this line isn’t meant to be supremely ironic I... I wouldn’t even know where to start.

“The law belongs to the people,” Wackner says, and the cops start chanting, “USA!”. What?!

And then we cut away from this and suddenly we’re welcoming Allegra to the firm and... did I miss an entire episode or something? What happened with Julius? Why are Liz and Diane smiling? How did Diane and Liz’s conversation about Allegra go? Did the other partners agree to this? Did David Lee? This is a very big development! I need more!

Madeline seems welcoming towards Allegra. She and another partner are still suspicious of Diane because they have seen right through this strategy. So... I guess we aren’t done with this arc yet.

Aw, Liz has a picture of herself with her son when he was a baby on her desk.

Diane and Liz drop Wackner as a client. It takes longer than it should for Marissa’s name to come up in this conversation.

If you were wondering about the Julius case we spent most of the episode building up, it’s resolved off screen by Wackner releasing Julius with time served. Why? Don’t know. Did it seem like it was headed that way during anything we previously saw? Nope.

Wackner won’t let Diane and Liz back out, saying he gets to choose his representation (does it REALLY work this way?) and also, probably more importantly, that they won’t be able to get all of Cord’s business if they piss him off by dropping Wackner.

Wackner also notes that they picked up his pilot. I’m sorry, what? Del didn’t just decide that the series he created for his streaming platform would be straight to series? That whole little “Wackner doesn’t test well” plot was resolved by showing an episode with the COTW they obviously should’ve shown from the start and then Wackner made a total of zero changes to his behavior or attitude and now the show is a huge success? What was the POINT? Why did I just watch that?!

“Fuck,” Liz says as the episode ends.

I’ve kinda always thought this, but it’s worth saying again: Madeline and company should resign from the firm. BOTH RL and STRL care more about profit than anything else. Liz and Diane want to work together. Liz and Diane both take the threat of losing Cord’s business seriously. If Madeline wants a firm that’s focused on social justice, it doesn’t matter if Diane is name partner or not. Liz is probably even faster than Diane to decide things based on money, and even if she weren’t, STRL owns them! Plus, I have a feeling that Diane, her clients, Liz, and Cord are probably individually worth more to STRL than Madeline and the other partners combined. If Allegra is down to pursue profit and deal with corporate overlords too, then Madeline and the others matter even less to STRL. Just cut your losses and start the firm you want to start. At this point it won’t even compete with RL.

Don’t get me started on this absolutely idiotic title sequence for Wackner Rules. I’m sure this is someone’s idea of a joke. If I take it seriously, then I have to write about how it is even worse than all of the things I just complained about for the entirety of this recap, and honestly, I’m exhausted.

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

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newagesispage · 4 years ago

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MAY 2021

The Rib Page

*****

George Takei is sweatin’ with the oldies. He stars in a fitness app for gay seniors, Bar Belles. It was his April Fool’s day joke.

*****

Fox will bring us Crime Scene Kitchen on May 26 with host Joel McHale.

*****

Joel Hodgson has launched a new kick starter to create a new independent season of MTS3K, The goal is $2mil.

*****

Bob Odenkirk will release: Comedy, comedy, comedy, drama: A Memoir on Jan. 18 2022

*****

Leslie Jones will host the 2021 MTV Awards.

*****

$3 mil was raised for Next for Autism with help from Conan, Kimmel, Charlize, Chris Rock, Jack Black and Sarah Silverman.

*****

Have ya noticed that Gayle King looks great in yellow.

*****

Some people are not too happy that Elon Musk will host SNL on May 8. Miley Cyrus is the musical guest.** Musk tweeted: Let’s find out just how live SNL really is. Cast member Bowen Yang tweeted back, : What the Fuck does this even mean?

*****

Oh Seth Meyers: Every time I see the sea captain on your show, I miss him so much!!

*****

There is a spotlight on Foxconn which made a big splash for Trump at the start of his presidency. The company has done a lot of nothing but still gets tax cuts. Homes were demolished, roads were widened to nowhere and money was spent. Wisconsinites are upset that this big business is just folly and a big glass orb.

*****

Mike Lindell is a kook but he did try to appear to be a good sport on Kimmel.

*****

When will weed be legal on a federal level? When will drug testing for employment be illegal? We hear so much about personal rights with the gun laws and vaccines and masks. What about the right to do what we want with our bodies when we are not at work. Think of the administrative costs that could be saved if we just removed drug testing. Our experience and work ethic should mean more that what we do with our free time. This is not a problem at all companies. There are places in this country where it is near impossible anywhere in your area to get hired without a drug screening. One joint on a random Saturday night could keep someone from a great opportunity. A person in pain who reaches for an edible might miss out on the job that saves their lives.

*****

NASA sent the first flight to another planet. The Mars flight made history with the 30 sec feat.

*****

What? The Menendez brothers are popular again? From the Ramsey case to the Manson murders or Bundy, it all comes back around again.

*****

The Lizzie Borden house just sold for $2mil to Lance Zaal of U. S. Ghost Adventures.

*****

Quarantine and so much television et al proves one thing, the pharmaceutical and insurance companies have way too much $.

*****

Trump told everyone to boycott Coke and is later seen drinking diet Coke.** Trump sent out a statement about how bad the Oscars are. They threw it right back in his face. ** Federal agents have searched Giuliani’s Manhattan apartment. It stems from the 2 year investigation into activities in Ukraine.

*****

X-VP Pence is said to have pressured the Navy to reinstate former Mo. Gov. Eric Greitens. Greitens was accused of tying up, blindfolding, taking explicit photos of and blackmailing a woman.

*****

There is a crisis in schools with the lack of civics and history being taught.

*****

Hulk Hogan was hit with a chorus of Boo’s at his latest event.

*****

The latest sexual harassment news: Matt Gaetz is being looked into for sex with a minor and sex trafficking. Bill Barr opened the investigation.** Tom Reed has been accused of sexual misconduct by former lobbyist, Nicolette Davis.** Marilyn Manson has been sued by Game of Thrones, Esme Bianco for sexual abuse.

*****

What is going on with Bank of America? I am hearing from multiple people that often they do not get their statement in the mail. Is this a bad Postal service? Is this bad business practice? How many late fees had to be paid because of this? Not everybody wants to pay their bills online.

*****

Jack Hanna has revealed that he has dementia.

*****

Tiny Tim : King for a day is a new doc I must see. The film contains footage shot from Warhol’s Factory. There are excerpts from Tim’s diary read by Weird Al Yankovic and the story of how Tiny’s friend, Bob Dylan wanted to make a film with him.

*****

Lindsay Lohan’s Father, Michael has been charged with 5 counts patient brokering and 1 count of attempted patient brokering. This is an apparent scam of steering addicts into rehab for cash.

*****

Aaron Sorkin and Paulina Porizkova are dating. Pete Davidson and Phoebe Dynevor are dating.

*****

JB Smoove has a new podcast brought to you by TeamCoco.

*****

Hey.. People working on the new Law and Order: Organized Crime….. TOO MUCH MELONI!!

*****

Zach Avery, actor, was arrested for his participation in a $690 mil Ponzi scheme.

*****

President Biden has restored aid to the Palestinians.

*****

MLB put up a wall in Georgia but the Masters stayed.

*****

Hank Azaria has brought Brockmire to a new podcast.

*****

Tommy Chong isn’t allowed on FB because of his weed posts but they allow an imposter to use his name to sell weed.

Pennsylvania is trying to push thru 14 voter suppression bills.

*****

Joe Manchin. Ugh!!** Marjorie Taylor- Greene has let go of her America First caucus.** Ted Cruz has allegedly used $154, 000 of his campaign funds to buy up copies of his book to boost sales. This is an old trick but still illegal.

*****

For the first time, The Carter Center became involved in a U.S. election. They published videos and live webcasts as well as deploying observers across Georgia.

*****

Most health programs in Uganda, Nigeria and Ethiopia have resumed after Covid.** Tom Vilsack from the Dept. of Agriculture has announced the USDA will provide assistance to 30 million kids.** It is sad to me that we have to entice people to vaccinate. Football games, Church’s and shot for shot in bars?? Really? Saving the lives of others should be enough. WTF?

*****

Alec Baldwin, Alec Mapa and Kelsey Grammer are shopping around a new comedy that ABC decided to pass on.

*****

Chauvin was found guilty.

*****

Days alert: C’mon Ben, calm the fuck down! Don’t prove how out of control you are like everybody thinks. ** Xander is so funny right now.** How many people will Kristen be and how many times can one person melt down?? **Bring Carrie back!! **Jackee’ seemed a bit nervous in the beginning but she is fitting right in. More!

*****

The SAG awards came and went. With the Trial of the Chicago 7 winning best ensemble, Michael Keaton is the first person to be in 3 best casts for SAG’s.** Other winners include Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman, Daniel Kaluuta, Youn Yuh-Jung, Mark Ruffalo, Anya Taylor- Joy, Jason Bateman, Catherine O’Hara, Schitt’s Creek and The Crown.

*****

The Oscars were held on April 25. It was a bit of a yawner and why would a show set themselves up for an awkward end?? There was a commercial from P&G right before the broadcast that stated, “ Widen the screen so we can widen our view.” Nice sentiment. Mank had so many noms and only 2 wins. People looking their best to me were Leslie Odom Jr., Glenn Close, Riz Ahmed, LaKeith Stanfield, Colman Domingo, John Batiste, Mia Neal, Questlove (gold crocs and a mask!), Desmond Roe, Travon Free, Trish Summerville, Marlee Matlin, The Lucas Brothers, Andra Day, Carey Mulligan, Amanda Seyfried, Nicolette Robinson, Regina King and Margot Robbie. Laura Dern looked like Big Bird, there were just too many feathers. Tiara Thomas had feathers but they looked great. Angela Bassett had some power sleeves and Tyer Perry looked like a little boy. Hooray for Emerald Fennell for her win for original screenplay but not sure about the dress. And Viola Davis?? Dana Murray?? Ashley Fox?? Hmm?? Winners seemed to have trouble getting to the stage. They often refused the steps or the walkway and sort of climbed up the side. I did love the intimate setting and it did remind me of the old clips of years before. Sound of metal and Ma Rainey both won. Tyler Perry and for the first time, an organization, the motion picture and television fund, took home the humanitarian award. I was thrilled to see My Octopus Teacher win for Doc. I loved Crip Camp too, that was a hard category. The acting winners went in all directions. Many critics complained that the films were real downers . Nomadland won best picture. Michael Moore put it best I think. Of the films this year, he said, “They force you to look backward with 2021 eyes.”

*****

Why the Fuck do we need a militarized police force?

*****

R.I.P. victims of the multiple mass shootings, victims of police shootings, the crush in Israel, Cosette Brown, Midwin Charles, DMX, Paul Ritter, Ethel Gabriel, G. Gordon Liddy, Buddy Peppenschmidt, Prince Philip, Anne Beatts, Diane Adler, Vartan Gregorian, Monte Hellman, Jim Steinman, Michael Collins, Michael wolf Snyder, Johnny Crawford, Eli Broad and Walter Mondale.

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badmousestuff-blog · 6 years ago

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The problem with Free Speech (Script)

One day I was helping out with the Free Palestine stall on Church Street. About an hour in a young dude came up to me, and gave us the usual conservative drivel.

He told me that he couldn’t support the left, because to him we were against free speech. Right below me were flyers detailing the extent of Israeli war crimes against Palestinians, and how little the world still hears about their plight. He stated that he wasn’t interested in our campaign, and bid me farewell. For, of course we must have our standards.

(Rowan Atkinson speech)

There’s never been a more unshakeable dogma in my lifetime than that of Freedom of Speech.

The real test of a country’s standards is if it allows people to criticise one another, especially the regime. The foundation of Liberty and Freedom and Friberty, is the story of free expression, after all, if you want to know who has the power, just look at which group you’re not allowed to criticise. Right?

Well no, I’m here to say that Free Speech isn’t just some base, flatline, monolith from which all societies are to be judged like an angelical truth, its a political concept, thought up by human beings, subject to critique, and frankly is in great need of one.

Let’s start with something simple.

Your concept that Free Speech is good, is only possible if your opponent also agrees with you, i.e. they’re not going to kill you if you disagree.

So therefore if your opponent doesn’t ?? and will use aggression against you, then you can’t really argue for free speech can you?

The conditions around you need to be such that nobody is going to die.

Right, whats next, oh I gotta do the Hitler bit, right…

Y’know the story, Weiner Republic, Full suffrage, large democracy, massive instability and debt caused from the prior war, enter the Nazis, and the German Communist party. Yes everyone seems to forget that the Commies were there too, headed by Ernst Thalmann, and at their peak gained 16% of the vote in 1932. Whilst Ernst was forward in his Anti-Fascism, the Social Democrats, and their newspapers, didn’t seem to understand the concept of a united front, they refused to confront the Fascists in an effective manner and simultaneously denounced the KDP as being a bunch of Muscovites, sporting the famous Iron Front symbol, The third arrow originally meant Anti-Communism, mind.

The SPD’s failure to effectively confront Fascism aided Hitler’s rise to power, sent the KDP underground, and Ernst to 11 years in the hole, followed by a firing squad.

So don’t tell me free-speech exists in vacuum, it doesn’t. In this video we’ll ask the necessary further questions.

Who dictates the media, who controls which advertisements we see, which views are more profitable? Does the removal of speech in given scenarios serve a common good? And if the enlightenment was correct why did Liberalism fail in its mission?

(Rowan Atkinson)

This clip was one of the first main intro points for me as well as many others into the realm of Super Free Speech, and it’s strange looking back just how dated it is. It’s not like we didn’t have the arguments back then, but moreso that nobody really cared, we were all swept up in the dogma, to challenge free speech would be on the same level as strangling a baby.

Anybody can go around today and talk about the joy of free speech, but it means nothing to a person who has no power with that speech, Freedom to Beg? That's not a freedom; that’s institutionalised sadism.

I’m not a believer in Maslow’s hierarchy but hypothetically, this really wouldn’t go number 2, it’d be right down at number… 27. Why do I say this? Well in the words of some philosophy guy people say I look like, “No rights matter if you’re dead”.

Food, Water, Healthcare, and Housing. These are all things you need in order to survive, in other words fulfil the other things that we consider ‘rights’ - rights that are worth struggling for. And despite the fact that the millions end up dying from the lack of these rights, even when they’re universally agreed upon, ever notice how this struggle goes very very quiet… Suspiciously quiet.

Sargon on the Socialists

I wonder…??? I wonder why the left seems to be largely committed to these causes, it’s something you find scantly addressed in the middle and right spheres with the exception of private individual charity (OSCAR WILDE), and Carl may find himself wondering why it is that these ideologies can barely create a solid solidarity towards these topics.

You might be a Liberal and say “Yeah yeah, I support that too though” but fact remains there’s no confidence here.

I see no outpouring of condemnation coming from you when Politicians like Bolsonaro press forward their restrictive measures, unlike what you have to say about this powerless Redhead. Why is that?

Count Dankula, who interestingly I had a couple scuffles with a while back without realising it, last year taught his dog to do a Hitler Salute, and he got fined £800. Now that’s probably one of the most petty excuses for a sentencing I’ll admit, but again this isn’t about whether it was justified, it’s about people’s standards.

Dankula received enormous support from, well, everyone, and he’s now more famous than he ever previously was, enough to be at the forefront of the free-speech festival later that year, and even use his fame to help push the emergence of UKIP. This is attention that people would pay top dollar for, way more than £800. He should be proud that he got a court hearing.

Frankly, me and my colleagues didn’t really care about this whole thing too much, just ask my IWW friend who I was with when this all went down. What happened around the same time that did catch some of our attention though was the plight of the J20 protesters who got arrested back during Trump’s inauguration.

Some of these people are on the butchers list to serve 60 year sentences for standing against a president who’s, a real dick, like I get the whole Liberal opposition is fucking corny but still he’s a dick, they’ve all been dicks, he’s just continuing what every dick who ever stood on centre stage ever started, this is America, you think Bernie’s going to save you? You think reforming the democrats can change the number one imperialist power?

Apologies. If you’re at all concerned that I didn’t give a toss about Dankula’s pug joke, if you’ve ever had friends like him this stuff isn’t too surprising, I know these are highly political times but a guy who votes UKIP is really not our number one concern right now.

I didn’t give a toss, but I know somebody who did, Mike Stuchbury, who you’ll remember from his childish twitter ramblings and dealings with Watson. Who proclaimed that the left needs to stand with Free Speech, A free-speech that is largely in the teat of Right-leaning discourse.

Sargon who was there with him, earlier that year got de-platformed by lefty-liberals in his debate with Muke.

The dogma is enforcing itself here, the left is all supposed to throw up our hands in swich liquor, of which vertu engendered is the flour, and decide Whether we should allow freedom of speech to our enemies, or not allow it, when the actual thing we should be doing, is taking hold of the narrative and putting forward our own ideas as the new talking point of discussion, instead of fucking Nazi Pug.

“Hey, you, what gives you the right to determine the narrative?”

Thats a good question, the hegemonic propaganda of our status quo is already setting the narrative, Noam Chomsky “I’m bored bye”

How can I make this more interesting… Ah ha…

IT’S TIME FOR FILM THEORY!!1 WOOOO

The Pursuit of Happiness.

In 2006 Will Smith told the story of Chris Gardner, a black man who struggled through poverty, separation, and fatherhood whilst living in San Francisco.

He gets an internship with a sales company and despite having to put up with a lot, by the end of the film he passes and at this point, we’re supposed to feel happy and redeemed, but to those who’ve watched it (surely I’m not alone) was it really a happy ending?

I’ll say that I walked out of the viewing feeling very uncomfortable and sour, but why is that?

Well for starters, that Internship he got was a 6 month unpaid one, in the most expensive US city might have something to do with it.

Then he’s got to deal with his wife leaving him, then he’s got to take care of his son, then he loses his source of income, then he’s got to deal with eviction, sleeping rough, not sleeping at all, by the end of the movie sure he gets his redemption but the message of ‘when life gives you lemons, just keep getting pummelled with those lemons and don’t ask why’ ultimately seems hollow.

Contrast that a more traditionally Anti-establishment film which was made by a literal Communist, where the exploiters are treated as they should be and thats what comes across on screen, with surprise horse-dick, and while Happiness doesn’t treat them like saints, they sure don’t come across as devils either.

6 months of free labour he and 19 other people who did not make the cut that they are effectively giving away for free.

What about those other 19 people, who ever tells their story?

The way his superiors always act like total dicks pushing him around and getting him to be their lobby boy, they lost nothing. And now he’s going to work for them.

Is the message here supposed to be “Well if this guy can survive the moon falling on him, what the hell are you complaining about?” Actually yeah, I think that consciously or not, this is what’s being said… Don’t worry we’re getting to the point of all this.

The extent of exploitation is naked, yet in the way the movie is presented I’m inclined to agree to this, and take it into my home, and sleep with it.

Now name me as many pieces of media that regurgitate this same old theme of rags to riches through adversity, to look at the man on centre stage, yet pay no attention to the millions locked in a cage.

Sure, say it how you will, Art is merely what you make of it and there’s not necessarily any devious agenda being pursued at any time. That’s one perspective I guess, another might be that there’s no such thing as Art for Arts sake, it all gears itself to differing political lines.

In a society based on private, individual enterprise, it's no surprise that Art would also foster themes that would support society as the normal and natural, even if they appear on the surface as radical.

Case in point, well the entire Hollywood Catalog.

On the Waterfront is literally Mccarthyism on celluloid, The People vs Larry Flynt guises pornification and billionairedom with a story of libel and freedom of speech.

And ironically enough probably the worst offender is, well I’m gonna lose some of you now, Billy Elliot, the Movie.

In which 2/3rds of the way through Billy’s dad strike breaks as a way to pay for his son to go to a prestigious arts school, y’know rather than maybe having him stay and use his skills to improve, embolden and enliven the downtrodden community, rather than leaving it to die.

Jackie’s very sympathetic in his devotion towards his son, except Striking is caring for your family, you’re fighting for a better future, together, as one, and it’s thrown away in favour of a much more individualistic get out of your circumstances, go and live your dream.

Now I’ve read Lee Hall, I know he didn’t intend for this to come through, but he is also no more aloof than any of us, we’re all susceptible to this ‘Common Culture’.

Just see the way our ‘Common Culture’ infiltrates into how Communism is talked about, in 2015’s Trumbo. The Hollywood screenwriter who was blacklisted for 2 decades for being a member of Communist Party.

Could make for some groundbreaking stuff right?...

Well no, instead we’re left with a film that focuses entirely on freedom of expression, which is ironic because if they represented him truthfully it would’ve resulted in a much more nuanced movie.

All we get is a 2 minute scene talking about Communist ethics and god its done in the most sanitised, unradical, storybook tale way possible, that doesn’t in any possible regard represent who the actual Dalton Trumbo was.

“If a book or play or film is produced which is harmful to the best interests of the working class, that work and its author should and must be attacked in the sharpest possible terms.”

I think I have a case that profit incentives are steering the way in which media is presented…

We have no problem pointing out the subtle propaganda messages in Soviet children’s cartoons (Cheburashka) but reverse that onto our society, prepare for some awkward stares.

You may argue that none of what I’ve just spoken about here has anything to do with censorship of free expression but this is the problem, our notions of censorship are stuck firmly behind the Berlin wall, and thats far too simplistic not to mention outdated.

Undoubtably Coca-cola has a far greater reach of expression than I ever will be able to ascertain, what says who can speak on a public forum, decide the content of a documentary, of a publication, of a movie, or a political campaign?

If a book is blacklisted by all publishers for political reasons, what difference does it make having 1 publishing house or 100?

If 90% of the movie market alone is controlled by just 7 companies, what kind of advice is “Just start your own business”.

If we want to talk about the free flow of expression and information, what little are these flyers (Free Palestine) when Zionism has a whole nation, and 2 continents supporting it?

This is the kind of expression we’re dealing with today, not the voices of individuals, but of multinationals. The fact that we had in any way an outpouring of sympathies towards one of these companies, Sony, for having their movie The Interview possibly censored by DPRK agents is a testament to how lost in the plot we have become.

And if by chance the media cannot direct the status quo by monopoly, it brings out its tried and tested method.

Commodify it.

I present to you Guerrillero Heroico, this photograph was allowed such free spread not simply because its bloody badass, but because there was no IP designated upon it, by Korda’s intention as a Communist himself he agreed with the free-flow of art. And what did this result in at the behest of Capitalist Corporations? The pastiche of revolution, to be bought and sold many times over.

Take any form of media, word, an expression, it will be hoisted away, slapped on a shirt, and sold back to you at a handsome price. You cannot escape this.

The moment that this (my tattoo) becomes the new Che it loses all its power, resistance is reduced to at worst LARPing, at best Nerd Fandom, and the winners are the profiteers.

If profit is the aim of the game, the speech that is supported will inevitably favour that which nurtures the economy, not destroys it, unless in farce. Speech ain’t a level base of which a country is determined by, its an apparatus held by those that dictate the game.

This is why there is a necessity for us to control the narrative, control the message, because if we don’t, they’re still going to.

Obligations:

When armies with unequal numbers go into battle, a draw is a defeat for the lesser side.

Make believe it or not Radical Centrist politics have their political leanings as well, even if just by effect.

Look I like free speech, I love it, I’m a goddamn youtuber, but I’m not stupid, I know what’s coming, I know that groups would try and silence me if they could. That’s politics.

You might go “All we’re talking about is the legal sphere”. Firstly the legal is the political, pure ideology to say otherwise, but second it’s difficult for you to call yourself a fighter for free speech when as I’ve explained there’s sooo much more to it than simply the judicial.

Many proponents will even side-step the judicial boundaries anyway when monopoly becomes involved, and if I have to explain how Monopoly is not an externality of our system but an inherent part of accumulation then… sigh.

Strange how we’re usually all skeptical of an Economic Free Market but the Free marketplace of ideas unlocks your inner Libertarian.

Its when I see stuff like this that I begin wondering if this is all just a trend that will eventually die off when people realise the complexities of their circumstances. I remember just a few years ago how many Libertarians were speaking the merits of free speech until they discovered that methodological individualism wasn’t actually achieving their goals. I count down the days when Lauren Southern finally calls for limits on speech just like her limits on borders. After all freedom is not free it must be defended right?

And btw folks usually aren’t as brave to actively advocate limits so they’ll always present justifications, such as that these views are mental disorders, or they’ll destroy civilisation, or these people are Degenerates.

This is a historic moment in political discourse, at this point ultimately we’re interested in picking sides, and you’ll do this just as much as anyone will.

On the left we like to talk a lot about Left Unity. I’m not necessarily against the idea, but a lot of the time people make a religion out of it, glossing over the fact that many aspects of various factions (???) contradict. It might not be immediately obvious, but when push comes to shove these conflicts become very apparent. There are some principles in which each side certainly doesn’t see eye to eye.

“Politics is pervasive, everything is political and the choice to remain apolitical is usually just an endorsement of the status quo”

If it wasn’t obvious, I’m a Communist, yeah yeah say what you want, I believe in the liberation of those who do all the work through armed struggle based upon material conditions. I’m going to therefore be in favour of real mass culture, the stuff that gets people focused on achieving liberating aims instead of just appealing to markets. Its for this reason that I’m not interested in defending the views of right-wing nationalists, fascists, reactionaries… my enemies in other words, the ideas largely speaking which regress the people and they’re not interested in defending me either, wouldn’t expect them to.

If all you’re talking about is the centre, you’re gonna get flanked, sorry.

You might bump in when I denounce Dankula stating “His punishment showcases the system is at fault” and I would agree. This system is at fault, its been at fault since before our constitution was written, and it’ll never stop being at fault until you solve the contradictions.

Liberalism did fail, its ideals never came to fruition and that’s the reason why Socialists bring forth the praxis to achieve it, sometimes that’ll involve using words, sometimes it’ll involve lots and lots of guns, but let me tell you, you can’t always fight a war by playing nice, sometimes you have to use a diversity of tactics to achieve it.

Maybe we need 11 of them? (Shows book)

But thats more of a material answer and I know that most you don’t give a crap about some dead Chinese guy., but getting back to the original idea about responsibilities behind our speech, well, here’s something to think about.

So… here goes nothing.

If you’re a straight white male aged 11-16 in the UK and weren’t brought up to fit into the standard male dynamic, chances are you got picked on, sometimes a lot, sometimes that’s every day, not necessarily violence but words from numerous mouths are highly unnerving.

I did not have a particularly fun time adolescence. Every day was horrible, I never had a feeling going in that this would be exciting or, this would be a day where things would be different, everyday was a total black smudge with no end in sight.

Unlike other people, I never got to have a group that I fit into, so I had no escape, nothing to take my mind off things.

Looking back I don’t know why I bothered going in, I wasn’t getting amazing grades anyway.

When I went to Drama school and other clubs on the weekends and after school, I would also get picked on, but it wasn’t in spite, it was just general, friendly teasing. But there wasn’t a difference in my mind, because when you’ve had to deal with so much constant abuse, and paranoia, and humiliation 30 hours a week, it fucks you up.

So when Id say to the weekend buds “I dont like this” theyd go “Oh come on man its just a bit of fun, its okay, dont worry about it, its just a joke, its all okay”

Back then I didn’t have the nerve, I just put up with it, but if I could go back, Id say. No, actually its not Okay, because you don’t know for the life of me how much I have had to deal with this shit, to me that doesn’t come across like you’re being funny, like your laughing with me, it comes across like you’re a psychopath who wants to get pleasure out of my misfortune.

Of course the response to this would be obvious “Well what am I supposed to do? Just talk to you like a robot. You should just get over it, leave it in the past. Your making it harder for everyone” or some other faux-victimised response.

And sometimes y’know they might be right, maybe I should’ve not made worse a bad situation, but fact remains I still bleed.

To you, this is just having fun and games, to you and your other friends its normal, but to me its a threat.

Now today you can call me what you want I don’t care, I’m out of that place now and I’m all the better for it,

But even though some 7 or 8 years since then I’ve been able to recover, I still carry a hangover of it all, and it affected my decisions later on in life sometimes to a dire extent,

Its had the effect of making me feel both distrustful of people, and also like Im a burden to be around other people,

I never feel I should hang around for too long, I never want to take chances in friendship for fear I’ll embarrass myself, I say one thing out of tempo and suddenly flashbacks and an enormous shadow of mordor conjures over me. And I think most of all its been very difficult for me to express my emotions because I used to do it a hell of a lot.

Those 5 years were the single handed worst years of my life. And if you were at any point responsible for adding to that devastation and humiliation, then a large part of me wants to lash your goddamn skull inside out.

Because as trivial and generic as my story may be, that part of my life has been stolen from me, and those 5 years I will never get back.

So what’s the point of all this?

“Ossidents are sometimes surprised that, instead of buying a dress for their wife, the colonized buy a transistor radio. They shouldn't be, the colonized are convinced their fate is in the balance. They live in a doomsday atmosphere and nothing must elude them”

I want you to place the relatively minor experiences I received as a child, and translate those into other groups, victims of domestic abuse, victims of colonialism, racism, sexism, queer phobia. Like I said I’m out of that place now, but others aren’t, for many people they still live day to day in this ever pressing struggle, trying to just tell people “Please, just don’t do this”.

It’s not okay. But maybe together you’ll help me out with solving these problems?

My conclusion to this is simple,

Free Speech is not just something you can fling around to score political points, it doesn’t materialise simply because we all decide it should. If we want free-speech we need to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

We need to be sure that the conditions in society don’t proliferate toxic ideas that might even lead to the downfall of said society.

This very Tattoo that 90 years ago would’ve been Anti-Communist as hell has become a Pan-Left symbol against Fascism. Its living proof that with the correct methods the conditions of words, symbols, ideas can be resolved.

When class struggle subsides, when our social divides have been solved, when the conflict doesn’t oppose the existence of certain folks, then maybe, we can well and truly say that we can have free speech, and we’ll stand at a comedy show and yell “Yes, lets talk about those BEEP BEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP” and be met with cheering applause from all sides. But until then, Don’t be a dick.

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jonsameta · 6 years ago

Link

Thoughts?

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Answer: Thanks for the submission! Since your post also links bridge4’s video regarding the phrase “There must always be a Stark in Winterfell” and their prediction of the inheritance endgame, I think I’ll start with that before I get to your commentary underneath. I reference the books as well because the video does. I hope that’s okay and this isn’t that hard to follow.

The Video

First of all, I noticed that the vlogger conveniently left out Jon’s line to Sansa in 7x02 “You’re the only Stark in Winterfell” since they put so much emphasis on the difference between “the Stark in Winterfell” and “Stark of Winterfell”, as they stated the former occurred much lesser (11 other times). So right off the bat leaving out this piece of information overlooks how the Stark girl actually is important even in the current timeline, not just Lyanna and the Rose of Winterfell were as the other abducted Stark girls.

I don’t think bridge4 realises the importance of the phrase “key to the North” is what the “rose of Winterfell” represents. It is through these women that an enemy king or prince was able to merge their bloodline with the Starks. Sansa is the “key to the North” and she isn’t just a princess as Arya is, but the Lady of Winterfell. I’ve elaborated more on how Jon, Theon and Tyrion are foils of each other and share the themes of being intruders, wanting to claim Winterfell and relating Sansa to it in common here and here.

Due to patrillineality post-parentage reveal, he would be considered a Targaryen first and he would go down to the bottom of the line of succession because he isn’t Ned’s son. Bran gave up his claim to Winterfell so that leaves Sansa as “the Stark in Winterfell” as Ned’s trueborn heir and she also has a political position and influence. Because of leaving out this piece of information, brideg4 came to the conclusion that Jon will be the one to carry on the line by marrying Dany and they use the prophecy angle of Azor Ahai theories to back this up.

This has been a foregone conclusion for a lot of years amongst many fans that they’ve never stopped to reexamine the actual impact of R+L=J on the story and even more so on the Starks, Jon and Dany. The fact that they’ve unwittingly committed incest and that Dany may never carry a child to term due to her parallels with Cersei and because her infertility being solved by Targaryen sperm furthers its blood purity and supremacy agenda is never considered.

The video shows season 7 clips, so I do find it curious that once again they left out the piece of information that Jon is a legitimate Targaryen according to the show, which makes him trump Dany’s claim. Also because of the North’s suspicion of Targaryens and Dany’s own controversial reputation, upon this reveal he will be seen as dragonspawn. He will be seen as a threat to and an intruder in Winterfell, as Dany will be and their possible union will be looked on as a bigger threat. If he wants to claim Winterfell and the North, he will need a Stark girl once again.

Sansa also has the advantage of having the loyalty of the lords of the Vale and her Tully heritage from her mother would bring her Edmure and his bannermen from the Riverlands. No one has put these pieces together but there is set up for all this to fall in place. She also has a lot of indirect connections to characters across the board because of experiences in previous seasons with them or through characters associated with her. thelawyerthatwaspromised has elaborated on the dynamics for other kingdoms here and here, none of which are in Dany’s favour. Dany basically gained nothing in season 7 except hollow victories. Jon shot himself in the foot by giving up the North (although for the greater good) and sleeping with Dany, which is worsened by him being revealed as a Targaryen. He does have a bit better reputation amongst some of these people than Dany, though. Sansa isn’t just the key to the North but the key to a unified Westeros brought together peacefully.

So bridge4 really overlooks Sansa’s importance in the story, as many do, and that skews his interpretation of the story. He also overlooks Catelyn’s fear that Jon’s sons would compete with her grandchildren over the line of succession. Moreover, Jon is Theon’s foil so he might agree to be KITN in war time but that doesn’t mean he will agree to pass the Stark line through himself, especially if he is revealed to be Targaryen. He passed over his right to be Lord of Winterfell and protected Sansa’s birthright in the books, which contrasted Theon’s invasion of Winterfell and usurping the trueborn Starks’ rights.

The most probable way it is narratively feasible for Jon to inherit Winterfell and be recognised as a Stark is by marrying a Stark girl. I don’t say this because that’s how I want it to be but rather because that’s how it is set up and the show makes it easier to come to this conclusion because cuts through the extraneous layers. Considering their blindspots or deliberate avoidance of acknowledging Sansa’s importance, it’s not a surprise that bridge4 overlooks the fact that a Snow marries a f!Stark girl when Ramsay married Jeyne as f!Arya for her claim because Sansa goes missing.

Considering Counter Arguments

People doubt Bran will give up his claim to Winterfell in the books, but I think the title “Prince of Winterfell” that he shares with Theon forebodes that he will remain a prince rather than become a king. When you consider he’s the youngest and is cut off from the political plot since Theon’s invasion it’s sensible. There are others who think Arya will be the heir to Winterfell, but that overlooks her lack of experience in political court and also bookwise, she’s referenced as “Princess of Winterfell”, but Sansa never is. This is mostly because she’s a hostage and is always surrounded by enemies. Neither is Jon ever called “Prince of Winterfell” as Bran is because he’s a bastard.

However, both Jon and Sansa are called “blood of Winterfell”, while none of the other Starks are, and they’re the only Starks that actively think of rebuilding Winterfell (x). They are also the only Starks consistently involved in political plots since the end of AGOT, where they both try to free Ned (x). Sansa is also called “the key to the North” and has several parallels with Lyanna and the Rose of Winterfell (x, x, x, x). These two characters never expected a chance to inherit Winterfell, but bookwise they’re currently both involved in political plots to take it back, and show wise they’re House Starks’ political heads.

Showwise, it’s season 5 onwards that drives the point of them both being claimants to Winterfell and the North (x, x). Both having unlikely claims as Ned’s eldest trueborn daughter and Ned’s bastard son. Sansa’s political importance as “key to the North” happens earlier, but Jon’s desire to be a Stark is a constant cause of anguish in his arc. Many argue that Sansa “stole” “Arya”’s storyline because she was placed in the Ramsay plot. But it was never Arya’s plot, but Sansa’s bestfriend Jeyne’s disguised as her and it’s told from two POVs - Theon who knows the truth and Jon who believes the lie. Arya is in Braavos under multiple identities. The similarity between Jeyne’s, Alys and Sansa’s arcs has been talked about a lot already (x, x, x) so I won’t elaborate. Also despite all comparisons of Arya to Lyanna in terms of her wild nature, Sansa’s arc mimics the last part of Lyanna’s life and her more feminine/romantic interests more.

Bookwise, Jon and Sansa are set up as Robb’s heirs (by enemy Houses and Robb) in the same book ASOS. But the foreshadowing for this starts from ACOK itself around the time where Ygritte tells Jon the tale of Bael the Bard and the Rose of Winterfell. This is followed immediately by Sansa’s “flowering” and by the end of the book, she is also under threat of Joffrey fathering bastards upon her (x). The bastard theme goes further in every book. Sansa is forcefully married to Tyrion, who says “all dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes”. Even in the TWOW excerpt, Sweetrobin tells Alayne he would keep her as a mistress and father bastards upon her and Harry the Heir also has fathered bastards. This is not a dilemma Arya goes through, as she survives outside the nobility structure as a person of the smallfolk from the end of AGOT.

People think Sansa’s connection to bastards starts in ASOS as Alayne Stone and that her bastard storyline doesn’t foreshadow much between Jon/Sansa beyond understanding. They argue about this using Arya/Gendry and the original outline, even though GRRM has said he was making up stuff to get a deal and the books have deviated in many ways. They forget that Sansa is betrothed to Joffrey, who is a bastard in reality, from the start. He is Jon’s foil too as a bastard disguised as a prince, while Jon is a prince disguised as a bastard. In ACOK, Gendry/Arya also exists as a foil to Joffrey/Sansa as they’re both Robert’s “sons” and both bastards but treat Stark girls very differently because of their personalities but also their status.

Personally, I also think that Arya/Gendry is the author’s commentary on Todd Williams’ Memory, Sorrow, Thorn characters Simon/Miriamele as he grows up a kitchen boy (even if he’s a secret heir) and she is a princess and disguises herself as a boy named “Marya” (but she also dyes her hair darker like Alayne). GRRM has said before that lord’s daughters didn’t just run away with stable boys because there were fatal repercussions to such an action and that’s a beef he had with a lot of period dramas (x). Within the story Simon gets no political training either but ends up as king anyway at the end, which I’m sure he had a problem with considering his question “What was Aragorn’s tax policy?”. The same goes for Gendry and although he obviously looks like Robert’s son, he never claimed him and thus, never got a lord’s education. Thus, it would be very hard to assert his claim because he’s not part of the nobility structure already and there’s no will in place.

Gendry is even lower than Jon, who is a privileged bastard, in his status. Being part of the smallfolk, he calls Arya “m’lady” and treats her with more reverence calling her than Jon would. Rather Jon calls her “little sister”, as Ned probably called Lyanna. Also, Arya was also the only Stark around whom he forgot his bastard status and he knew she didn’t like being called a lady. But he would call Sansa “my lady” because of their distance, her higher status, and because she fits the role and he knows she would like it. Gendry even feels hurt when Arya says he’s not her brother and brings in his status. That sounds more like Jon/Sansa to me more than Jon/Arya.

Fact of the matter is that Sansa’s arc is intrinsically linked to her claim as a Stark, marriage alliances, her future children and bastards. People think Sansa will end the story not marrying and that would be “character growth”, but that overlooks her own desire for love, being Cersei’s foil and the impact of Ned’s last conversation with her about making her a worthy match. Sansa’s mistake wasn’t that she fell in love, but that she couldn’t see Joffrey for what he was. A more full circle end would be for her to recognise a decent man and make a politically advantageous match as a political figure of House Stark, that her father would approve of. Who better than someone her father raised? Those who expect her to end as Elizabeth I don’t consider that they’re in a very desperate situation because of the war torn Westeros. There has to be a Stark heir and like it or not, Sansa is more likely to enter a political match than Arya. The storyworld has its limitations, feudal conventions won’t suddenly end in a day. If it could, wouldn’t Dany’s invasion of Meereen solve everything immediately?

And no, accepting her marriage to Tyrion is self-defeating in her arc that is so much about reclaiming her Stark identity and refusing to let her enemies claim her and take that away from her, even as they hold her hostage. The lack of consummation and the fact that people know also presents enough grounds for annulment in the books and the show it’s just invalid at this point as she remarried. Even if you consider the BATB theme, he’s a Beast foil.

Jon’s arc is intrinsically linked to his desire to be a Stark, to be acknowledged as Ned’s son and his impossible dream to be Lord of Winterfell. In the books and on the show, Jon is also juxtaposed against Theon and Tyrion, who both try to claim Winterfell by betraying House Stark. So I agree there was set up for the line to pass on through Ned’s “children” Jon or Theon, the bastard and the hostage. Both part of the Starks and not Starks. GRRM even confirms they’re foils:

“Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into to his own selfish, worst impulses. In some senses, Theon is struggling all the way through to be a hero. They both come out of the same situation: they’re both raised in Winterfell by Eddard Stark, but they’re not part of the real, core family. Theon is a ward, and Jon Snow is a bastard son. So they’re both a little outside, but Jon handles this successfully, and Theon fails to handle this. He is poisoned by his own envy and his sense of not belonging.” - GRRM

However, what’s important is that they both desire that acceptance to come from within. In terms of feudal terms post-parentage reveal, it would be more possible for Jon to become Ned’s son by marriage than be legitimised as his son, which he is not (x). The phrase “son-in-law” is never used in the text.

So yes, that Sansa is the person to validate him twice in season 6 matters a lot. In terms of personal foreshadowing, the use of “to me” in Sansa’s answer “You are to me” when Jon says he’s not a Stark. All of this happens all while there’s trust issues involved because of their distant relationship before (x). The words have a different meaning because he didn’t get that kind of acceptance from her before, although he craved it from both her and Catelyn. In terms of political foreshadowing, it matters because of the cloaking ceremony at weddings. Thus, the legacy would pass on through them.

Of course, one cannot rule out the possibility that Jon/Sansa will not happen. But they make too much sense politically than they should as they aren’t “obvious” and when you think about it, they provide the best narrative bookend for their arcs. It’s not whether people ship it or not, but rather that it logically makes sense in tying up a number of loose ends.

That was long lol. Hope it wasn’t too annoying.

- lostlittlesatellites

#jonsa #compass123 #jon x sansa #lostlittlesatellites #blood of winterfell #submission #long post

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meshugana1 · 7 years ago

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Blond girl called Gina, fights her way through the university to become a doctor. Everybody made fun of her becasue she was blonde. Now she is the one who laugh, as she stand in the row to get her diploma. As she walks up the stage she remembers how the ppl around her always expected her to be a drop-out, a stupid blonde fuckdoll etc. But as she walks and think of it her reality shifts. She freaks out as she got a nurse diploma. As she walks off, she turns into a big breasted bimbo stripper.

I felt the warm light of the stadium trained on me and my classmates. The flutter in my heart had been with me all day, It’s funny how even knowing everything that’s going to happen today and I’m still nervous. Even now, with my diploma seconds away, it’s hard to think its all really real. Dr. Gina Glover, part of me still thought I was sleeping. But my toes were sore from standing and from being bound up in my new heels, and my boobs were squeezed into the top of a sleek new dress. All of it was covered in the ancient, stuffy graduation robes that they bestowed on the lucky few. I chose a modest bun for my hair today, it was mostly hidden under the cap, I was pretty thankful for that.

You wouldn’t think a person like me would get bullied but truth is stranger than fiction I suppose. I never saw any of it in high school, people were still surprised by my grades and my dream to be a doctor. I usually got “oh yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen” and “have you considered a less stressful career?”, people always judged me on my looks. They only saw blonde hair, pouty lips, big boobs and a big butt. It got pretty bad in college, the other students leered at me all the time. Most people called me GeeGee, that’s what everyone thought of me, a trumped-up hooker. Even the teachers chimed in with their two cents. Anytime I got a less than perfect score on something they always wanted a sit down with me. “Are you sure this is the path you want to follow?”, “Maybe you’d be happier as a housewife”, “If your set on this maybe a nursing degree would suit you better?”. Had mom to thank for that one. I honestly don’t think I would’ve made it if it wasn’t for Wendy.

She’s just so supportive and the best little sister anyone could ask for. Even better, she’s standing right behind me. We even have the same specialty! Earlier this year I was a little worried that she might be getting resentful. We’re both pretty smart but I was the one cursed with the family good looks, after puberty I kinda got the feeling we weren’t as close. But these last few years have been great between us. She even gave me a necklace just last night, it’s so beautiful and it looked like it was old. She said she found it in a curio shop, but I think she might have spent more than she should have. It’s really beautiful though, it has a long pink crystal and it looks like an empty space in the center. Maybe it’s supposed to represent love or something?

“Gina Glover,” finally they call my name. It’s time for me to talk the last walk through the sea of doubting faces. The corners of my mouth hurt from the smile I’ve had on since I sat down to listen to all the boring speeches. I see professor Stein, his droopy jowls are pulled up in a smile, his eyes are locked on my ass as I pass him by. “Who would’ve thought the bimbo would pass, I certainly didn’t,” how could Professor Stein say that now? I turn to give him a piece of my mind, but he isn’t facing me and he’s speaking with Wendy. But I swear I just…oh well, just imagining things. I shake Ms. Powell’s hand, one of my only female teachers and honestly the only one I really respect, for a moment my smile is genuine. No words pass between us, but I hear her voice all the same. “Poor girl, she should’ve been a nurse. I wish I would have done that, but I’m sure she’ll change her mind when she finds a cute man to hang off of,” how? How could she think that? How did she say that? It was crystal clear, but her mouth never moved. The crystal on my necklace starts to feel a little bit warm, but I feel my sisters hand on my shoulder urging me forward.

It kept repeating like that, I would shake someone’s hand and it’s like I could hear their thoughts or something. It had to be stress and excitement mixing together in my head, had to be. All the thoughts were about me, and none of them were good. It couldn’t be real, most of these people I would expect to think that stuff, but not Ms. Powell. I just need to calm down, calm down, I can see my diploma, it’s barely ten feet away. The sweat collects on my forehead as I finally take hold of my future. But when the dean lets go it suddenly feels like every single person in the stadium is talking about me and I can hear all of them at once. My ears ring and all the voices speak at once. I can’t understand all of what they say, but I can hear some words, bimbo, cow tits, fat ass, stupid, slut, whore, in and amongst all the chatter.

The vines throb in my skull and my head becomes so hot. I continue on off the stage, stumbling in my fugue. It was ok though, I’d just get an aspirin from mom and everything would be perfect. I hold up my achievement, and my face pales and my palms become slick with sweat. It’s…it’s a CNA, a worthless CNA?! Is this a joke? A prank?! I didn’t spend the past seven years working my ass off and memorizing my textbooks so I could become some certified nursing assistant! These assholes are gonna pay, this is not funny. Wendy runs up beside me, I can’t even hear her voice, she’s showing me her surgical degree, her future. Mom and Dad embrace us as I try to point out the mistake, but it’s like they don’t care. They’re all over Wendy, so proud of their little girl, my anger just keeps boiling. How can they ignore this? I’m not some stupid, vapid valley girl! I’m a doctor now for God’s sake! The heat from my sisters necklace peaks, almost singing my skin, then it bursts in a brilliant light. I can’t focus, everything is turning white, my skull hits the hard floor and for a moment the world disappears.

“GeeGee? GeeGee? Honey, you need to wake up! You’re set’s starting soon,” Candy says. I groggily rise, my naked tits pull down my ribs. These implants are so heavy but damn do they bring in good tips. “Mmm, thanks, candy. I just like to take a little cat nap, where’s my outfit?”“It should be in the closet. What do you think of my new look?” Candy twirled in place for me, she loved the new act. She was practically poured into a latex tube dress that left nothing to the imagination. It was pretty cheap but that was because she could tear the latex anywhere and basically rip herself out of it. The guys all seemed to love it like she was a ferocious little kitten. “Love it, babe! You even make me hot with that act, now it’s my turn,” I hoped up and let the blanket on me fall, giving all the girls a free show, hehe. My outfit was pretty cute, it was a super sexed up nurse outfit, a little joke since that’s my degree, but stripping makes so much more and it’s so fun. It’s about two sizes too small in the ass, just how I like my clothes, my kitties were making an ocean of cleavage to drown those silly boys in, my blonde hair was done up so I could remove the clip and send it down my shoulders in waves, guys loved that. I never wore underwear anymore, why bother?

“And now it’s time for one of our favorites, Nurse GeeGee!” I strut about the stage, making coy spins around the pole, then my clip is tossed from my hair, the top three buttons on my costume pop off, a little trick one of the girls taught me, and I grind into my aluminum lover. God, I love the attention my sexy body gets me, that and all sweet cash. But I have to remember to not blow too many of these guys in the private rooms, today is my little sis’s graduation day. I know I’m just a silly blonde bimbo but I still love my sissy!

The end. Hope Y'all like it!

#bimbo tf #reality change #breast inflation #request

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glitterypeanutmugnickel · 4 years ago

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May 31, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Jun 1

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President Joe Biden spoke at Arlington National Cemetery today to remember those who gave the “last full measure of devotion” to the United States, dying in our service. His speech was a full-throated defense of the cause for which those soldiers gave their lives: democracy.

“Democracy is more than a form of government,” Biden said. “It’s a way of being; it’s a way of seeing the world. Democracy means the rule of the people—the rule of the people. Not the rule of monarchs, not the rule of the moneyed, not the rule of the mighty—literally, the rule of the people.”

Democracy, he said, is in peril as authoritarians around the world try to destroy it. But while our democracy is imperfect, Americans “of all backgrounds, races, creeds, gender identities, sexual orientations, have long spilled their blood to defend our democracy… because they understand the truth that lives in every American heart: that liberation, opportunity, justice are far more likely to come to pass in a democracy than an autocracy.”

Biden called today’s Americans to repay their sacrifice by making America live up to the ideals laid out in the Declaration of Independence. “We owe them the work of our hands and our hearts, to make real the promise of a nation founded on the proposition that all of us—all of us—all of us are created equal and deserve to be treated that way throughout our lives.”

Biden’s impassioned defense of democracy is not a rhetorical device.

Just last week, the refusal of Republican leaders to back the creation of a bipartisan independent commission to investigate the January 6 insurrection illustrated that the party is now wedded to former president Trump and his ongoing determination to overturn the 2020 election. Thomas Kean, the former Republican governor of New Jersey who headed the 9/11 Commission, told David Smith of The Guardian that the failure to create a 9/11-type commission for the events of January 6 was “a mistake and it’s a country’s loss and a democracy’s loss.” “[T]here was no real, public reason for turning it down,” he said. “I guess some people were scared of what they’d find out.”

This weekend, a QAnon conference in Dallas, Texas, featured Trump’s former national security advisor Michael Flynn and Trump’s former lawyers Sidney Powell and Lin Wood as keynote speakers. Republican Representative Louie Gohmert of Texas and Texas Republican Party chair Allen West were also featured. They continue to insist, against all evidence, that Trump won the 2020 election.

Powell suggested that Trump could “simply be reinstated” as president, although she said she could not be sure Trump would get credit for time lost when Biden was in the White House.

After he left office, Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about his conversations with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak—Trump pardoned him—and has fallen more and more deeply into QAnon conspiracy theories. For months, QAnon supporters have been praising the February military coup in Myanmar that overturned a democratically elected government and calling for such a coup here. During Flynn’s speech, an audience member asked why what happened in Myanmar can’t happen here. The crowd cheered and Flynn replied: “No reason. I mean, it should happen here.” When the video clip of the exchange went viral, Flynn’s verified Parler account called the idea he had called for a coup “a boldface fabrication based on twisted reporting.”

The Big Lie rhetoric is behind the voter suppression bills in Republican-dominated states, where legislators insist they must combat the alleged “voter fraud” that they blame for Biden’s victory. In Texas in the middle of Sunday night, House Republicans rushed to pass a sweeping election reform bill that would make it harder to vote and easier for judges to overturn an election, although Texas had just one potential case of voter fraud in 2020, out of 11 million ballots cast.

Texas Democrats thwarted the passage of the bill by leaving the chamber until there were too few people left to make up a quorum, which is the number of people required to be there in order to hold a vote. Governor Greg Abbott, a Republican, vowed to veto funding for the legislature in retaliation. “No pay for those who abandon their responsibilities,” he tweeted. He demanded the legislature take the “must-pass” measure up again in a special session.

The approximately 60 Texas Democratic lawmakers were forced to walk away from bills they had hoped to pass, but they felt they had to send a message. State Representative Trey Martinez Fischer said, “Breaking quorum is about the equivalent of crawling on our knees begging the president and the United States Congress to give us the For the People Act and give us the John Lewis Voting Rights Act.”

The For the People Act would, among other things, make it easier to vote, stop partisan gerrymandering, and limit the use of money in elections. The John Lewis Voting Rights Act is more limited: it would restore the parts of the Voting Rights Act struck down by the Supreme Court in 2013 in the Shelby County v. Holder decision, thereby returning protections to people of color voting in state with a history of racial discrimination.

In a letter to Senate Democrats on Friday, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) thanked them for a productive May session that included confirming Biden’s nominations; advancing the U.S. Innovation and Competition Act (USICA) to invest in science, technology, and manufacturing; rolling back Trump-era rules that hurt the environment, consumers, and workers; and passing the Hate Crimes Act that will help protect Asian Americans from attacks.

Senate Democrats “are doing everything we can to move legislation in a bipartisan way when and where the opportunity exists,” he said. “But we will not wait for months and months to pass meaningful legislation that delivers real results for the American people.” Schumer committed to bringing to vote in the last week of the June work period the For the People Act, “legislation that is essential to defending our democracy, reducing the influence of dark money and powerful special interests, and stopping the wave of Republican voter suppression happening in the states across the country in service of President Trump’s Big Lie.”

At Arlington National Cemetery, President Biden warned us that we are fighting for “the soul of America itself.” “Folks, you all know it,” he said. “Democracy thrives when the infrastructure of democracy is strong; when people have the right to vote freely and fairly and conveniently; when a free and independent press pursues the truth, founded on facts, not propaganda; when the rule of law applies equally and fairly to every citizen, regardless of where they come from or what they look like.”

“[T]he right to vote, the right to rise in a world as far as your talent can take you, unlimited by unfair barriers of privilege and power—such are the principles of democracy.”

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alanaknobel99 · 4 years ago

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Red Lipstick and The Green New Deal

Have you ever been told as a child, if something isn’t working then find a new solution? At this moment, our country is like that child, and it needs to be told to find a new solution. The way the United States of America has been operating works, but not for everyone, and our climate is changing. Not just our environmental climate, but the political climate as well. Our country is depleting, poverty is soaring, healthcare is unaffordable, student loan debt is atrocious, and climate change is quite literally killing people. Young people feel our country is stuck. The older generation is holding onto it like their youngest child leaving for college. Ultimately, no matter what, that child will leave. Everyone has to grow up, even this country, and it’s going to happen whether the parents like it or not. Every movement, and this is a movement, to push our country forward needs a voice. For us, that is Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or AOC is a 31-year-old Latina-American born and raised in the Bronx of New York City. Her parents ended up moving 30-50 miles north of the Bronx to a better neighborhood to afford better education and a future for their children. In a 2019 TIME Magazine article, AOC said that those 40-minute drives taught her that zip-code matters. What a lesson to learn, that where you grow up has more impact on your future than you do. Her mother cleaned houses, and her father owned a small architecture business. In 2008 her father died which spun the family into financial turmoil. This caused AOC to pick up multiple jobs, working for a nonprofit by day, and bartending by night. She has constantly said that she never saw herself going into politics, but it’s hard to deny that she was built for the political stage. Her brother submitted her for Brand New Congress and Justice Democrats who are actively looking for young people to run for Congress. They want people who are working class, poor, educated to be the Americans who represent other Americans. I believe it was on her way to a protest at the Dakota Access Pipeline when she received a call asking if she wanted to run for Congress. From there on began the development of a grassroots campaign, that is the ultimate underdog story.

She was running against Joseph Crowley, an incumbent who hadn’t been challenged since 2004. He was your average democrat, swearing loyalty to fight Donald Trump, and that was a majority of his campaign. What he didn’t pay attention to was AOC, who ran on true issues and the need to help the residents of the 14th district in New York. Her campaign was made up of volunteers, a majority of whom were actors, and they knew how to put on a good show. They didn’t accept any lobbyist money, and were completely donation based. That was quite fascinating that she was able to beat someone who had millions of dollars being poured into his campaign fund. However, her winning wasn’t about the money, it was about this newfound energy and spirit that she has that led her to victory. She really cares about people, she cares about what policies are being put forward in order to help those people in the future.

She continues to radiate this fiery passion to fight, even into her 3rd year in Congress. This passion and honesty are what make her so radical, likable, and attention-grabbing. Allowing her presence on social media to skyrocket over the years. We can see this in news clips that have gone viral of her during committee hearings where she pours her heart out. In one of her most famous clips where she exclaims, “People are dying” while using her passionate words to defend the Green New Deal. In this specific video, she is speaking the absolute truth. The climate crisis is about human lives, and there should be no debate around that whatsoever. It’s come to the point in politics where people need to speak up and fast because the climate crisis has a ticking time bomb, and if we do not tackle this issue before it’s too late there is no turning back. AOC is the person speaking up, she doesn’t sugar coat anything, and she does it with grace. Even if people don’t like her, whether that’s the haters and trolls online or her coworkers across the aisle, continues to not let others silence her.

youtube

I remember when a Republican congressman called her a “fucking bitch” she spoke up. Whereas others, I feel, would keep quiet, I’m sure Nancy Pelosi has been called that by some of her coworkers, but the world has never heard it. Alexandria took the time to approach the situation like the female hero everyone knows she is. There is no politician filter when she speaks, it’s raw, and it’s fully and truly her. She is not afraid to use social media to call out people on their stupidity, wrongness, or even disagreement with others.

Some will say that she just became a congressperson at the right time, during the social media boom. While that may hold some truth, it’s really how she uses social media to create a space of transparency that has caused the public to flock to her accounts like a moth to light. At the time the TIME article was written they said, “her Twitter following has climbed from about 49,000 last summer to more than 3.5 million.” Her Twitter following is now at 12.6 million. I believe, just from my own research, she has the most Instagram followers of her other coworkers at 8.8 million followers. When I look at her Instagram feed compared to Bernie Sanders, Nancy Pelosi, Ted Cruz, and other big political names, her feed is very different. Others have a lot of information pictures, news clips, and statistical slides that may grab some people's attention, but it’s very political because there is no connection. When you look at AOC’s feed a majority are videos of her doing live Q&A sessions. I haven’t seen this on any other politician's platform. She is directly and in real time, answering questions about current legislation in which she is able to clear up misinformation. I watched her live Q&A about what was in the second COVID relief bill, and I learned so much. She has created this space of truth, transparency, and faith all because she chose to include people in what she is doing for them. Just a few days ago she posted a short weekly vlog where she explained what she did during that week. You don’t see others in her same position doing that. Many may think it’s irresponsible, not politician-like, but in actuality it’s what they should be doing.

Now, is this a generational thing or something else? She’s 31 years old, grew up during the social media boom, tends to have younger interns, is more in tune with the “lingo” as the older people may say. While it may be all of the above, she has actively chosen to use her social media like this. Others can use their accounts like this but choose not to for some reason. AOC is one of the only people actively getting the younger generation involved in politics, and she does this through the internet. During the pandemic, she live-streamed her playing the vastly popular game, Among Us, where she talked about legislations and let people ask her questions. She has made countless statements that the older generation in Congress always talks about young people, but never makes space for us, allowing us to show our potential. It’s always, “it’s not your time yet” never “come show us what you can do now.” AOC is leading the path for young people to have a space in the political circle. There is also one more major reason why people like her so much, and that’s because she is a working-class American.

I have said my entire life that I would love to see Republicans switch shoes with a steelworker for one day. The majority of people who run our government have grown up in a life of privilege that afforded to get them there. They don’t know what real working class, poor Americans go through every day. Our government has a real problem that if they can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. AOC has lived check to check, been on the other end of taking someone’s order, worked overnight just to have some extra cash to pay off student loans. I’m not disavowing anyone's upbringing, but she has consistently put forward a policy that helps the average American. Even policy that helps everyone, like The Green New Deal.

The Green New Deal is a Resolution put forth by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ed Markey of Massachusetts. It is not a piece of legislation, but a call to action that the federal government takes steps to cut its emissions of greenhouse gases to zero by 2030. The 14-page resolution has a ton of what seems like radical changes. This includes updating the country’s infrastructure, energy grid, and ensuring livable wages for all American jobs. There is a lot to discuss when it comes to the Green New Deal, as within those 14 pages the goals outline almost everything that makes up the US economy. There are so many benefits that could happen to our country if something like this is passed. For instance, guaranteeing higher education for everyone in order to receive the knowledge needed to acquire a job with a livable wage. The Green New Deal also addresses issues such as systemic racism and puts forth proposals to invest in certain neighborhoods. These are the types of legislation that need to be put forward in order for our country to evolve. The fact that not everyone is guaranteed higher education, shelter, clean water, healthy food, is unacceptable.

Most of the rebuttal to the Green New Deal is that it’s too expensive, unrealistic, and the federal government shouldn’t have that much power. While the GND is expensive, estimated to be around 50-90 trillion dollars, the federal government will end up spending more money in the long run from disasters related to climate change. The Green New Deal says the federal government could spend up to 500 trillion dollars in economic relief by 2100. The more we wait, the more money we will have to spend in the long run catching up to those problems, until we cannot. To those who say the Green New Deal is unrealistic, I ask them to read a history book and identify all the major life-changing events that others have said were unrealistic as well. Americans freeing themselves from Britain, the abolishment of slavery, the civil rights act, The New Deal. For my response towards the issue of government power, if the federal government isn't the ones putting forth legislation to protect American lives I don’t know what they are there for.

With all that being said, is AOC the right person to bring forth this Green New Deal? To that, I say absolutely yes. She represents the new millennium, the rise of the younger progressive generation who is fighting to make real change in this country. Her use of social media, and how she connects to people across the world set an example as to who we want our elected leaders to be. Transparent, honest, and inclusive in their media. Her story, who she is as a person, what she stands for is what the Green New Deal stands for. Rightfully so when someone mentions her they think of the Green New Deal, and vice versa. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is what the future of this country will look like, and she will continue to lead the pack.

Bibliography

Alter, C. (2019, March 21). Inside rep. Alexandria Ocasio-cortez's UNLIKELY RISE. Retrieved April 19, 2021, from https://time.com/longform/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-profile/

DSouza, D. (2021, January 26). The green new deal explained. Retrieved April 28, 2021, from https://www.investopedia.com/the-green-new-deal-explained-4588463

What is the green new deal? (2020, December 08). Retrieved April 28, 2021, from https://www.sunrisemovement.org/green-new-deal/?ms=WhatistheGreenNewDeal%3F

Grunwald, M., White, J., Sitrin, S., & Gerstein, B. (2019, January 15). The trouble with the 'green new deal'. Retrieved April 28, 2021, from https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2019/01/15/the-trouble-with-the-green-new-deal-223977

(2019, June 12). The Green New Deal Explained [Vox]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxIDJWCbk6I

'People Are Dying:' Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Defends Green New Deal | NBC News [Video file]. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGtuDCZ3t2w

#Youtube

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itstimetowatch · 7 years ago

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Not Pictured

So this is going to be weird going into an episode where I’m pretty damned certain of the outcome. I think the only thing I haven’t figured out is the “Cliff’s Briefcase” thread. It was stolen by a prostitute hired by a guy that kind of looks like someone that Aaron Echolls once shared a jail cell with. I don’t see how that ties back to anything unless it was something I missed last episode when I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to the courtroom scenes?

Anyway, on with the finale!

Mr Manning is offering the reward for Woody? The child abuser wants the child molester found that badly? I guess this falls under the heading of Even Evil Has Standards. Also, shouldn’t the state of California be the one offering? Maybe this is just preemptive. The state’s reward will take too long to process so Manning is getting the jump on it now before the trail goes cold.

HAHAHAHA! Oh, Vinnie! Please never change! Please be in the movie ten years later every bit the actual worst person ever!

Woody had Chlamydia? So on top of all the other horrible shit he did, Beaver also raped Veronica.

Oh and we’re back in Veronica’s Dreamland. At least she’s not on the bus anymore. That was really long and seemingly pointless, other than an excuse to bring back Duncan and Lilly one more time. Also, the idea of Veronica and Wallace not being friends makes me incredibly sad.

Mr Underhill? How dare you besmirch the name of Frodo Baggins by associating your disgusting self with him.

“I don’t know if I like the idea of you running around a place full of armed, drunk businessmen.” “That’s why I rarely go to Texas.”

I’ve heard at least three writers names called out during this ceremony.

So this is yet another example of Sheriff Shithead being a dickbag, right? Like they’ve known Weevil did it for, what, days now and they wait until the middle of graduation to come drag him out in handcuffs? They could have arrested him anytime but Lamb wants to humiliate him as publicly as possible.

Little Dick isn’t in Veronica and Logan’s class? Or he just can’t walk at graduation because he has to take too many summer school classes? I mean, I remember him failing physics but were there more? Because most of the time if you’re just one class short the school will still let you walk and just hold off on your diploma until you make up the class you failed.

“A PONY?!”

It seems weird seeing Veronica in a dress outside of like Prom. Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s the only time we’ve ever seen her in a dress, dances and other formal wear occasions, of which graduation is not one?

Wallace is just going to track down Jackie? In Paris? A city of like 12 million people or whatever? Wallace, I know you’ve watched Veronica work a lot and you have picked up some not inconsiderable skills along the way, but with this, I think you’ve overshot your potential.

And apparently, Jackie’s in Brooklyn, not Paris… and when she said she learned the birds and the bees the hard way… not only was she pregnant but she’s a teen mom? How is that in any way in keeping with the character we were introduced to at the beginning of the season? And does Terrence think she’s actually in Paris? Or is that just the “official story” that they’re telling everyone?

I don’t think that’s how legal emancipation works, Aaron. Once you’re out, you’re out. Also, Logan is almost certainly eighteen by now. He has his own money left to him by his mother. I mean, he may need to move out of the Neptune Grand and into something a little more permanent and less costly, like an apartment, but then again, so do you as you undoubtedly have a mountain of legal bills forthcoming and no career left to speak of.

A deer’s head, Woody? Just be caught already.

Yep, okay, called it. Like I said, I was 99% sure but confirmation is always good.

Hart Hanson is another producer’s name… I think it’s also the name of the kid who taped Lynn’s suicide, who mysteriously turned back up last episode. In which case, he’s a sophomore and almost certainly is not listed with the phone company.

Cassidy BEAVER, you son of a bitch, on top of everything else, you do not get to shoot… fucking anyone, not Mac, not Veronica, not even fucking Dick! (Also, what did I say about him having plans to put one in Dick’s head at graduation?)

Um, just over halfway through the episode and we’re already up to the big climactic showdown with the bad guy?

“A better place”? You piece of shit! All that girl did was love you!

Oh yeah, I didn’t think about the fact that Beaver would have to have killed Curly.

Um, how long has this bomb been on Woody’s plane? Because those things get inspected regularly, whether they get used or not.

First of all, that plane wouldn’t be visible in the Neptune skyline yet. Secondly, WHAT THE ACTUAL EVERLOVING FUCK?!

Beaver, if you want her to jump, you’re going to have to stop tasing her, genius.

Good riddance, Shit Bird!

Okay, so Mac is alive! Thank God for that! Although Beaver has almost certainly passed along his sex-associate psychological trauma to Mac, so he’s just the fucking gift that keeps on giving after he’s a stain on the fucking sidewalk.

And speaking of sex-associated psychological trauma, this show has forced me to endure seeing with my own eyes Kendall and Aaron together, which I could have gone my whole life (and several more besides) without.

Oh, damn! Well good riddance to that pile of shit, too!

CW? As in The CW? The network that aired Season Three? “It’s a done deal.” Was this an announcement? (I mean, I know CW, Clarence Wiedman, but I can’t think of another good reason for them to phrase it that way.)

I have some pretty serious issues with the idea of Duncan ordering Aaron’s murder. Kidnapping your child to keep her out of the hands of monsters and living on the run from the law is one thing…

Yeah, none of that makes Jackie’s characterization from the beginning of the season make any more sense.

KEITH! HALLELUJAH!

“And pepper spray, in case we run into that Trump character.” GOOD CALL, VERONICA!

Keith, you are not standing Veronica up for something to do with Kendall Goddamn Casablancas! What the hell, my dude?

Okay, so there were a few surprises after all. I didn’t expect Aaron to get clipped. Once they dragged him into this season of the show, I figured he would become an on-going menace in Veronica’s life, but I guess not. I also didn’t expect a resolution to Veronica’s rape. I thought that would spill over into next season where I’m still assuming that the Hearst Rapist is still an on-going problem, maybe there was an upperclassman at Neptune that graduated when Veronica was a sophomore and went to college at Hearst or something and he could be a suspect.

So… this episode was good but felt kind of lacking to me after my epiphany last episode, and then Veronica got the message to go up to the roof and the whole thing kind of came apart for me. There’s no good reason why Veronica would go up there. She did it because the script needed her to have a private menacing conversation with Aaron and then needed her to be in danger of being killed by Beaver. It’s yet another example of Veronica doing something she’s smart enough to know better because the script needs her to be in peril. It’s happened a lot this season and doing it in random, middle-of-the-season episodes is one thing, but in the season finale? No, sorry.

Then she gets to the roof and there’s no good reason why Beaver doesn’t just shoot her in the head. He doesn’t need to know what she knows about him. She’s not explaining it to him, she’s explaining it to the audience and that’s just bad writing.

Beaver’s plan doesn’t really make a ton of sense, either. If he’s so scared that Marcos and Peter are going to spill his secret, why does he wait to kill them? Why do they wait to be killed? Why he wait until Woody’s on his way back to Neptune to blow up the plane instead of on the way to his hideout? Why does let Woody live in the first place? Incorporation/Phoenix Land Trust came way later. Why set-up Woody (or anyone, for that matter) for the bus crash when a criminal investigation of Woody would be exponentially more likely to reveal Woody’s paedophilia than just letting an incompetent sheriff bumble his way through a pile of circumstantial evidence for the next couple of years?

Full thoughts on Season Two will be forthcoming.

#veronica mars #season two #episode twenty-two #keith mars #cindy mac mckinzie #wallace fennel #logan echolls

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hanzi83 · 5 years ago

Text

Let Me Explain The Targeted Harassment

Before I begin the blog, there are a lot of thoughts in here that will be my opinion and my theories mixed with some of the established facts that has been documented. I already know the people targeting me, will dissect this blog and will even make comments about how no one cares about this, and it is probably true. This is what happens when you isolate people due to lack of trust in this world, and even if I explain the value I had in this life, it is dismissed and I am labeled someone who is a fucking delusional narcissist who is very mentally ill, and all of that is fine to say when it becomes to belittling me and not valuing me anything because you need to beat my self esteem even more, it looks like Tom Cruise from Vanilla Sky. Sorry I have not watched much movies or television show due to this periscope addiction I have been on this past summer, maybe I should update it and say my self esteem resembles the women in the Manson family after Cliff from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood beats the living piss out of them.

So since I have not written in my personal journal in a while, due to hackers moving my cursor and I wanted to test how my mind would cope with having to deal with the thoughts and organizing them in my head, because I am constantly thinking and I am barely scraping by with this mental illness, especially when you have people constantly streaming my stuff and making it seem like I will be kidnapped, or they know when my therapy appointments are or when I am meeting my caseworker. I have to worry about constantly letting my guard down, because anyone who interacts with a former character- oh sorry I mean regular meaningless caller (even though the Stern Show contacted me in 2008 to be an intern, or Artie Lange and Jon Hein hinting in 2009 that I was a contributor nonchalantly, or the fact when I would pitch guests, Shuli would tell me to tell anyone I try to contact that I am a producer) but yes I was not valued as much, so people online who were initially chat room and forum trolls, who were given the platform, which I believe since the world is a lot more organized, it feels like people were given incentive to vote for Trump, and in return they are given free range to act like assholes online who bully and harass people and never get called out, even though it has been evident that government agents have been watching these youtube streams.

So let’s start from the beginning and I have covered this most of 2018 of a youtube streamer show that was making my life hell and I was sure as hell sure this dude was a Howard Stern agent and given permission to fuck with whack packers. Howard, to me at least, has always showed disdain for people who use characters from his show, so whenever there are people who are creating projects with using the whack packers, it feels cosigned and co-opted. So there was this youtuber who surfaced, who didn’t seem to catch much traction on the surface, but he somehow was the creator of a very prominent Stern Show Facebook group, which I never really knew about, but he did these videos on his green screen playing old Howard Stern clips and just analyze it in the most mediocre way possible, I never thought much about him, but toward the end of 2017 he approached me on twitter to be on his show, and let him do an interview.

I was hesitant because I am not a dark web guy, so I don’t know who these people are associated with and I will never know, but I figured one interview would not be that bad, even though it was on a podcasting network named after a Stern regular caller who was kind of responsible for bothering a Whack Packer named Eric the Actor, who has now passed on, so I had reservations about this dude, but apparently he had issues with this network so he did his own thing. I did my interview with this youtuber named Jimmernam and we had good chemistry, but there were things I did not like about this show from the jump, which included him trying too hard to be like Howard Stern. I have gone through this before but never mentioned this guy’s name. He would organize callers to call in and fuck with me and this cam girl named Goddess and act like he did not know these people, even though later on after I left it, those callers become permanent fixtures of the show.

We had a blow up because I knew this show was not good for me, even though momentarily I was having fun, and because I did not play along with his agenda, he would act like he did not need me, and say he would get viewers on his own because no one cares whatsoever, but still kind of guilt me into coming back every couple of weeks but with the way he would bully other youtubers and dox people, it was not a show for me. We did have a blow up where I lost my mind, I was on a low dosage of my medication and they were piling on, and I questioned how he was a father because he just seems to harass cam girls all the fucking time, especially since that cam girl in particular said he was kind of creepy or some shit, he thought I made fun of his kids and he snapped and he threatened to get me to kill myself, I retorted with “Your kids are gonna want to do that if they realize what kind of father you are” so we both threw shit at each other. Also because I got into arguments with a Trump supporter, who goes by the nickname Kitty on the show, I would lose it on her and she used to produce a 24-7 feed of High Pitch Erik, so I already know she is ingrained in the system, even though she will deny it. I could be wrong, but when the blow up happened and I lost it and said she probably fucked High Pitch Erik, she accused me of sexually harassing her. My larger point was the system would not allow people in that world if they did not have to do something. It got dropped, but later after all of this happened, she did admit in a private message when she was sorry. I asked her who put her up to doing that sexual harassment thing and she said she did not remember.

I went back a few times because they figured enough time passed but I maintained I would maybe just come back permanently but I said I would come by when I felt like it but it was probably best for me to just do my own thing because I just feel if I get pulled into so much drama, it will not be good for my mental health, even though trolls will constantly come to me and bring drama with insinuating they are watching me, my parents don’t love me, or that they are profiting off me, and saying the worst shit possible to elicit a reaction, a very irrational reaction and because when my manic breakdowns happen, I have no qualms at the moment with saying some of the most vile shit ever because my fucked up brain has been trained by the shit I used to consume, whether it was comedy, radio, wrestling or hip hop, or just western media and I then feel bad about it immediately because I know they were looking for it but I am so in tune with what they want but I basically over feed them so they end up being sick at the end of this for wanting to be fed in the first place.

One of the other factors of why I liked the show initially was because Wendy from Howard Stern was somehow a regular there, and Jimmernam clearly had some control over her or something because Howard allowed her to just be used like this, and second he would insist she not do any other show on a different podcast network, even if they are getting paid over there. He had a feud going on and by proxy there were elements of people getting doxxed by both parties, or how Jimmernam would call his enemy’s mother and telling her on voicemail that the wrong son died etc and also constantly showcase his trolling with others, and when I applied what he was doing to others with what was happening to me, he would then attack me more, but claim he had just cause because I am making some wild accusations, and he would play my streams and have my picture on the banner, and he knows I have no power so I couldn’t do shit about this. I don’t have a gang of trolls working for me to just go around and report stuff, like he has done and make it seem like others were the bullies.

So the final blowup where he just didn’t give a shit, and it seemed like the people on top gave him incentive to have me on his show and make it feel like me on my own was nothing special, so my views dwindled, which are always controlled, even if I got massive amounts or very low count, so it was meant for me to go back over there but I did not want anything to do with it because they could not even admit what they were doing. He did not like I did not call in to wish him a happy birthday, and also he has been in Wendy’s ear about mentioning me on the show, since I had been banned 2 years prior, and she also mentioned Jimmernam multiple times, to which Howard did not even react to, and that is what got to him, and it felt like it was not reacted to because it would prove me right that he was a Howard Stern agent. Then he finally snapped and it felt like he had to implode, whether it happened organically or he and his people organized it because more and more people left his show because of the doxing of cam girls, which endangers them, constantly having alcoholic meltdowns and berating contributors because people were donating to them, or wanting to just expand to other shit and it felt like maybe it was a planned hiatus, where everyone would reconvene after a couple of months, it just seemed out of nowhere.

So by the end of 2018 summer he would have meltdowns on his own and apologize but then go back to harassing people and isolating himself from everyone and basically made enemies, of people who were his friends prior. He would still talk shit to other youtubers and dedicate his remaining drunk streams to doxing people, and going to war with his competition etc, while playing lady gaga and a cover of “Bye-Bye-Bye” from an N Sync cover band. He even had a new woman by the name Kitty, not to be confused with the prior Kitty and play video of me cussing out the first Kitty and make it seem it was against her. By October-December of last year he was just doing streams here and there, kind of like he was at the end of his “I don’t give a fuck” phase. One of the main reasons his discord channel got shut down was because he started doing basketball videos, and basically copy of people who write articles etc and he happened to recruit some kid to be in his discord, and he gave him mod status and also was sharing porn in there. I was never in that discord, I don’t go on it often unless I have to talk to someone so I make a temporary account, but at that time I did not go in there other than one time after someone approached me privately to tell me that Wendy from Stern, who is a slow adult, was flashing her tits and wrote “You happy now?” and I never saw the photo, although Jimmer and Kitty were passing it around in their text messages when Jimmer leaked out the texts in the latter versions of the live streams.

He disappeared after all of that, after he did one last Christmas stream where he was doxing a government agent, who was stalking the cam girls and apparently was a creep. He had pictures of him being at some events etc and that is why I start to think how many other government types watch these streams that are just not really a blimp on the radar in the culture, but he was telling this guy with text to speech about him raping his daughters and that he is going to fuck his wife etc and then after that no one heard from him.

Speed up a couple of months later, he apparently had already started a new channel in November 2018 but people did not pick up on it until February where he was rebranding himself as Misery Box on youtube who read reddit stories of Entitled Parents etc and he was making bank and getting a lot views, like millions of views so there was a brand new audience of kids that were being made aware of this new loveable youtuber. It kind made me relieved that maybe if he finds success in this, he would stop bothering me, even though his trolls would show up to fuck with me, because if he was making these reddit videos in November, while no one knew who he was, and he was still doing drunk streams, I could sense he would still be using trolls against me. And I know he blames me for the implosion of his show, and would still continually harass me, I can’t prove that for sure but it I just watch his patterns, because he would show up as Jimmernam on his enemy’s streams and cuss them out etc.

In April, there was a Misery Box exposed video, and apparently even in this new community Jimmernam could not resist going back to his old tactics, because he has to be number one in everything he does, so he seemed to start trouble by telling people in this youtube community that another youtuber was trying to bully smaller content creators, so there was a conversation that was recorded, where some of them were not buying it and he just snapped on some 17 year old kid and after telling him he was good at what he does, then tells him he is lazy in his editing after the kid was asking genuine questions about originality in the youtube space. So this woman Iilluminaughtii created this video, and instantly his subscribers were dropping and it was not the same for him. He tried changing his channel name several times so people would not catch on and he was quiet about any of the allegations of the video that was made, which compiled some clips of him as Jimmernam etc. He would eventually come back with some live streams to explain himself and then point out who is responsible, so he would show his enemies etc, and this is all in front of a kid audience, and I think he had to buy new subscribers because his views barely make it to 2500 within a week.

Now Wendy, who people have always said she was a scammer, and I always thought she was told to manipulate with her condition to get money from people, whether she was actually struggling or basically making money for this Jimmer guy or whoever latched onto her but I felt protective because a bunch of Stern trolls would just call her name and mock her condition relentlessly. Last December she was in a car accident and has been in the hospital since, and it seemed weird because she was first at the hospital, then a rehab center, but now it is a nursing home, claiming she could not leave the home until she paid her bill of 20K. It made no sense but I would let her plug it while I was doing lives, and she did not even mention Jimmernam, but suddenly in the last month she joined periscope, and became beloved there, but I had to watch out for trolls there too and she seemed really distressed that Jimmer was no longer around and she wanted to hear from him, and the thing is I feel Jimmer did not really care about her and just needed her, and it seemed when all this Misery Box got fucked up, he needed her again. I think he put her up to this, and has always kind of been in contact with her on some level, because he did just show up.

I did not express the full vitriol I had for him and Kitty because of the fucked up shit I felt they did, but they both seemed to change, and it does not feel like a coincidence they both showed up around the same time frame of Wendy needing them again. Jimmer seemed peaceful and wanted to give me props for contributing to his show and how it was a huge fucking deal for him to have me, and this is documented in Wendy’s scope and I admitted I had fun on his show for a bit but it was becoming too much for my mental health to deal with, especially since it was giving me flashbacks to how Stern went about shit. I said I needed to see if he changed for real, and needed a couple of months. He did not seem pleased, and I had a feeling this was all for me to have this feeling of nostalgia with him coming back after the show had been disbanded for a year, but I still had to keep my guard up. So it continue with Wendy doing her periscope streams, and every day she would have to show me how much she loved Jimmernam and talking about how she is going to marry him because he promised her and she wants to get a tattoo of him on her belly. I just had to calmly tell her these aren’t good ideas, but not get confrontational about Jimmernam; because I know he means a lot to her.

He was doing his streams and started a new format, and clearly had a new kid audience, and he was doing adult orientated stuff, even though he has been questioned why he gave a kid porn in his old discord, now he seems to be grooming new batch of kids and making him seem like the victim, because the people who he has fucked with are going after him for being a banned guy on youtube who somehow found a loophole to get back on, and he is interviewing trans women, and asking sexual questions in front of an audience of kids who are 12-15 years of age, maybe some of 17. He wanted to play audio of one of his enemies having sex with his woman but was advised not to, he played old interview with one of his contributors about his gay experience, and listen I don’t have a problem with trans women giving their stories, or someone else’s gay experience, but is this kind of shit appropriate for a 41 year old on the internet to be giving these kids that? I criticized it and we got into it but in a calmer way, because he was trying to maintain that he is a good guy who is not going to snap because I am not giving in. I even questioned about these pedo allegations, because it bothers me that since I am not into the dark web or in these group chats, I don’t know these people’s past because I assumed if they were dangerous or corrupt, the people would have got him tagged, but since he is being allowed to do streams and get a fan base, I figured that those pedo allegations were real or not. I don’t see the proof, other than him having a weird fascination of wanting to have a kid audience and giving a kid porn in a discord, which was shut down.

I think he became impatient and starting using Wendy a lot more because he knows that I care for Wendy so fucking much and I have tried to defend her from trolls and I really don’t make money off her or my streams, so I am purely doing it because I am a fan of her and she has entertained me for so many years on the show, so I just felt because Howard does not watch out for her or even help her out, seemingly, but I did not mind it because I was also meeting others who were fans on her and showing her love, but she kept going into other discords of Jimmer’s enemies and cuss them out, and it was like how is she figuring this out to go to a specific discord, and it became such a problem that she was screaming obscenities in the nursing home to this guy named Saiyanz, that the nurses had to come in and tell her to put the phone down because she was waking up her roommate, and you could hear her crying and flipping out. It was clearly getting her in trouble, and even Jimmer showed concern for this and said she should listen to me because Hanzi cares for her. She would go into another person’s discord named Ross Dawg RDA, and some of these youtubers I am not really down with because it comes across like right wing adjacent where they need to say inappropriate things to be edgy, even guys I get a long with, I try to show others on periscope why the devil wins when we use these bad words because I used to fall for that propaganda, because they have managed to make PC shit seem corporate so you think acting inappropriate with language, although not having evil intent, is some kind of edgy shit.

Now I get suspicious why Wendy is going to Jimmer’s competition and just starting trouble, even though they are very rude to her and hide it under the guise of “treating her like everyone else” and it felt like it was done on purpose because seeing them treat her that way would make me want to team back up with Jimmer and go at these assholes bothering her. I still suspected they were in her ear, and she donated 650 dollars in total throughout the week one time, and Jimmer claimed he did not see it because he claims she had him blocked and he could not see the donations, and I got upset by this because now it seemed like she was raising money to give to him for his comeback. I told her that if she truly needs money for rehab, people will not donate to her. Maybe the ones who were in on it did donate knowingly that Jimmer was taking it, but a lot of people said they did not feel comfortable doing that. I think that angered him the most, but she did donate to Jimmer’s competition saying that she was being forced to, and then Jimmernam comes out of nowhere with Kitty, who people were shocked she went back to Jimmer after he had doxxed her information last November or so. And he would do stream where he is making it seem like this Saiyanz guy took her money and telling the kid audience to report him etc. Also when Wendy was going to do some story time segment, she said she was going to write one about me, which meant to me, that they were going to make her say some crazy shit and even though it would normally not bother me, I was wondering if they were going to have her say some wild shit under the guise of “She is a slow adult we can’t control what she says” so I made a temporary discord account to see if anyone was feeding her shit, but I did see Ross Dawg in the discord spamming Jimmernam’s discord, and one message in particular he wrote “Send me more naked pictures Wendy” and I figured maybe he was joking around, but I later asked Wendy on her periscope, and it is still up, if she sends nudes to people, and if people ask her. She claimed Ross Dawg asked her for pictures of her boobs. I was livid, because Wendy has told me prior years that people have her on facebook have sent her dick pictures, and I always told her to give me the names, and she obliges but never tells me who they are. So I confronted Ross Dawg about this on twitter with the screen grab, and he seemed upset but just kind of mocked it and said that he has phone sex with her on his stream and she loves it, and listen she seems down for that type of humor so if she chooses to I can’t stop her, but it feels like she has been trained to think that is what she has to play a long with to be accepted, even though this Ross Dawg guy claims he never listened to Stern ever.

So I went off on this because Wendy seemed upset about it and she claimed they were bothering her and calling her incessantly from what she was making it seem like, but she would keep going to these people’s discords, so I wondered why and she claimed she blocks them but they hack her phone and unblock themselves, and I am like “This is fucking crazy, how can they do this” and then I figured out that this was probably a ploy by Jimmernam to get me upset, whether it was to start a feud with a new streamer such as him, or get me to team up with him. Wendy keeps going back, so I finally had enough and decided I had to unfriend her on facebook and unfollow her on periscope because I won’t be listened to and I seriously tried doing the right thing.

So Ross Dawg, butt hurt over the call out started spreading the rumors the trolls have started about me, beating up a gay couple, even though I never had a criminal record, and can’t even fucking fight, or making fake accounts in their youtube streams and naming it after me or making you think it is me, and saying I am going to get a gun or something even though I don’t have a gun, nor can I afford a gun, nor do I have any interest in having any kind of fucking weapon. He has dedicated streams to me about how I blamed him and he did that to Wendy as a joke, and he did not actually get a naked picture from her, and maybe he is telling the truth, but the fact that he is getting offended by that and how I think people like him are allowed to do the shit they do, because they are co-opted by the system, and considering Jimmer had enough power to expose a government agent, I don’t know what power these people truly fucking have.

This Ross Dawg guy has done dedications to shows to me and I tried not to answer and even if he is trolling he is fucking with a mentally ill person, and these people can use it as an excuse when it is convenient and they are going to keep doing this, and because I went on one of his competition’s streams, and by the way I time to time have went on that specific stream, even though sometimes it seems too edge lord for me, but Unbleachd’s intent is not evil, or at least I don’t think it is, but I had not talked to him and I did not know Ross Dawg was streaming anyways so I went on to talk about wrestling and this drama that occurred because he was not caught up on it, and that angered Jimmernam, who somehow was on the stream, and now he is so mad he got Wendy to start calling me names, saying I never helped her, donated money, and that I am a pussy. It hurt to hear someone I genuinely cared for and not fetishise having a contact from the Stern Show etc, and I can’t retort because she is obviously mentally disabled and I am going to cuss her out? It is just sad these guys have turned her on me, and it felt like it confirms that her being friends with me was the resort they needed because she was the only left who would soften me up and convince me Jimmer has changed, which he did not, and all those compliments and hyping me up went out the window. He showed his true colors, and what hurts most is people who were part of his show hang out with this Ross Dawg guy and they stand idly by, some of them were really cool and have been telling me not to worry, but others have just partook in it, and now are ready to do streams about me losing my mind, because people hacked my phone and I think it was them, or maybe others in my life, and because I am a fucking human being I lose my mind, I don’t have 20 people in a discord to laugh at my fucking shitty jokes, while I think that it is something special, and now they keep fucking with more and more, and I am trying to explain that I did not have ill will toward Ross Dawg because I was going off by what Wendy was telling me, and clearly she keeps going back there.

Now these people are going to keep harassing me and they know I am mentally ill and they have no qualms with pushing me to suicide, even though I will never do it. I leave when they decide to kill me, and I reached out to media outlets for this kind of harassment because these people need to be looked into, and with the arrogance they have and how they can harass me, it seems they do have power and are given permission. Stern does not like me, and I have been calling him out for these leaks and how much alleged harassment he has put on me, and he could be cosigning it. Maybe it is my friends or people close to me because they got what they needed from my fame, just like every social circle of the whack pack, since Stern makes systemic deals with these people, and I can prove it, but these people never have my back. They know I have nothing to do, I say nothing, they get away with fucking with my life and mentality, I say something, it is more me flipping out and having manic meltdowns, where I am close to losing my fucking head, and this all seems as a ploy for me to call in and if this guy needed me to call in to talk I would have called in to talk to him but since he went this route and keeps pushing me more and more to the brink of insanity and no one cares. Maybe people are investigating without telling me and they are building a case, but it feels like nothing will be exposed or no one will care until I am dead or in a fucking loony bin and when the semi woke people with blue checkmarks can then pretend to care like they don’t make deals with the devil and give a limited narrative of social consciousness. That’s why you know cancel culture is bullshit, and organized because Howard Stern would be on the chopping block, but nope, he has able to rebrand himself as some liberal, even though he is still very much a neoliberal centrist who still wants Israel to obliterate the entire middle east, and no one has the balls to call him out.

There are also clips I have pinned on twitter where Howard in 97, in jest, says that these celebrities need to fight off people investigating them by hiring private investigators to follow them around and have no hesitation in ruining these people’s lives and it felt like that is why nothing super serious has ever been reported about him and even back in 2012 he admitted, and I am sure people will say it is a joke, but he did say that when people bother him on twitter and they get annoying, he has a team of people to find out who that person is and start to ruin their lives, but you won’t hear that in any marathons shows they play on Howard 101.

I know this blog will not go anywhere and no one will care because let’s be real these people saying no one cares about me are right, and even the ones who are on my side can’t do anything but these guys need to be stopped. They are pushing me to lose my fucking mine and this Jimmer guy seems nervous because he is on the verge of losing his channel because some guy named WTF guy has been working on exposing him and now Jimmer has gotten his groomed kids to go report his videos and harassing him on twitter and has spun it into him being the victim and no one cares because seemingly it is not a blimp on the radar, but these people like Ross Dawg was mocking me and saying he is going to dox me and my family etc, and they have a moderator named after me, and have fake accounts show up and then use it as an excuse to shit on me by saying that fake account is me. The way they have manipulated Wendy is disgusting and this will not stop. Again no one will fucking care and I am on my own, and maybe it is best for them to push me to the edge because even then you assholes can pretend to care after and profit off my fucking story. They know I have no back up, so they will continue to fucking harass the living shit out of me. This will never end.

By the way I am hoping Ross Dawg knows that Jimmer probably set this up or maybe he is on it, but since they were enemies and now he is welcoming Jimmer on maybe Ross Dawg is doing it for him to put his foot in his mouth and I don’t know if Wendy was lying about the nudes, and it was just a joke, but I will be fair to him a little and say he did defend Wendy from having her money stole from someone else, but he had a chance to talk to me on someone else’s stream and he just went in there to make fun of me and saying another live stream dedicated to me will come up. I felt I needed to write this so I wouldn’t lose my fucking mind but they will push me to it

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCteISibPyZCgVCM6gP2JNBA here is the channel harassing me

here is the tweet calling him out https://twitter.com/Hanzi83/status/1172751869883637766?s=20

clip of him saying he is going to doxx me https://twitter.com/Hanzi83/status/11741640181116846

08?s=20

here is the channel exposing Jimmernam for what he is doing to people and compiling the shit he has for his kids audience https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcuJyY0dJLSQHC5XqNFmbqA

here is Jimmer convincing his audience that he is the good guy in all this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h6scwm_Rhw

here is the initial video from Iilluminaughtii exposing misery box https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezcNo4i9bSk&t=36s

#Hanzi 2019 Howard Stern Harassment Trolls Targeted Harassment stalking mental illness manipulating Wendy Slow Adult Jimmernam Misery Box #MiseryBox RossDawg Ross Dawg doxxing doxx Illuminati government #grooming kids reddit entitled parents

0 notes

hartlessfiction · 8 years ago

Text

A Little Inspiration

This is a flash fiction piece for my good friend @bloodandcream. Who challenged me to write a fic based around one word, the word was Canoe, she gave me an hour time frame. I went a little over but its my first time so I hope she forgives me. Length: 3k

Cross post AO3

This was it, it was perfect. Exactly what he needed for his final project. Castiel ripped the page out of the campus life newspaper, tossed his paint brushes back into their cup and raced out of his studio.

“Hey, what the hell Cassie?” Balthazar snapped as Castiel almost knocked his sculpture over.

“It’s perfect Bath!” He shouted back waving the newspaper clipping over his head. “Perfect.”

“Weirdo,” Balthazar mumbled as Castiel sprinted out of the arts building and towards the gymnasium. Checking his watch as he rounded the quad, if he hurried he’d be just in time to catch Dean.

Sure enough Dean was exiting the gymnasium still in his baseball uniform as Castiel staggered to a halt in front of him.

“Woah, Cas, what’s up man?” Dean asked as he helped Castiel back up from where he was hunched over gripping his knees and panting for air.

“D...Dean, i-- i--it's perfect.” He gasped holding out the clipping towards Dean.

“Later Winchester!” Gordon called

“Your friend ok?” Cole asked his face screwed up as he followed Gordon out of the locker room into the bright spring sun.

“Yeah man, he’s good, nice play today.” Dean said as Castiel finally caught his breath.

“Dean, listen, this is perfect, this is exactly what I need to get me out of my slump and finish my final project!” Castiel watched as Dean looked over the clipping his confusion evident on his face. He pulled his cap off and wiped his sweat with his wrist before putting it back on again.

“Yeah, man I guess.” He said handing the clipping back to Castiel and heading off in the direction of his dorm. “But what’s that got to do with me?”

Castiel fell in step next to Dean, they’ve been friends since high school, but sometimes Dean could be really dense. “I need you to come with me! Classes are canceled for Panther Pride Pep Rally preparations tomorrow.” Castiel grimaced, someone in the student council was a fan of alliteration, or just a fan of annoying the entire student body, he figured it was Meg.

Dean sighed readjusting his sports bag on his shoulder. “Why me, dude? I mean, like I don’t even understand what is so appealing about that.” Dean tapped the paper now wrinkled in Castiel’s hands.

Castiel was beginning to panic. This was going to be perfect for his project, it had been plaguing him for months, his last project before applying to grad school it had to be perfect! And like fate was listening, the campus newspaper had just show up on his desk, the headline article screaming out at him. Inspiration broke through the wall in his mind and he knew, he couldn't miss this opportunity. Castiel looked down at the paper in his hands and went for his trump card.

He looked up at Dean, with wide eyes and jutted out his bottom lip, full pout mode. “Please, Dean.” Castiel watched the emotions war across Dean’s face. Dean was so easy and Castiel was so close to breaking him, just one more… Castiel reached up and gently tugged on a lock of his slightly over grown hair, the curl right behind his left ear that Dean always seemed to stare at when he thought Castiel wasn’t looking. He bit his lip and pouted up at Dean, watching as the other man’s green eyes swayed to Castiel’s paint stained fingers as he gently tugged on the curl and then back to meet Castiel's eyes.

“Fine.” Dean snapped grabbing the paper out of Castiel’s hands and stomping up to his dormitory entrance. “You better bring some lunch or something, make that sandwich I like, or... whatever.” Dean turned his back his voice growing fainter, less agitated as he made his demands. If Castiel wasn’t so sure that his friend had no interest in him he would have sworn that the other man was blushing.

“Absolutely Dean, thank you so much! I owe you, I swear, all the sandwiches! All of them!” Castiel threw his arms around Dean, squeezing the other man from behind, and for the moment letting himself relish the feeling of Dean’s broad, sweaty back against his chest. If only… Castiel thought sadly.

“Ooops.”

“What!?”

“I… uh... I got a little paint on your uniform.” Castiel said already backing away.

Dean spun around, and yeah, he was definitely blushing.

“Damn it, Cas!” he bellowed as Castiel waved, darting back down the path to the arts building.

------

Dean sighed again staring down at the newspaper in his hands. It had smears of green and orange paint on the edges. How did Castiel always wind up getting him into these things. Last one was dog walking in the park, he didn’t even like dogs, neither of them even owned a dog, no they were walking other people's spoiled pooches. Before that is was bird watching, and why a person needed to be up at 3:45am to see a feakin’ owl sit without on a tree branch, Dean still didn’t understand

But here he was yet again standing beside a Castiel so happy he could practically feel the other man vibrating, about to rent a fucking canoe and paddle out into the middle of a damn lake so said man could find inspiration in nature for his final piece. Or something.

Dean sighed and Castiel looked over at him, his hand coming up to grip Dean’s forearm. “This is going to be great.” He said with that huge gummy grin that Dean secretly coveted. Castiel bent and lifted a little blue cooler. “As promised!” He said holding it out to Dean.

“Aren’t you giving up your bribe a little early? I mean I could snag these sandwiches and just head back to campus, leaving you to paddle your own ass out into the middle of the lake.”

Castiel's face was pricelessly scandalized, he snatched the cooler back, clutching it to his chest, his cerulean eyes wide and bright in the morning sun and Dean had to force out a rough laugh before he did something stupid, like kissing his best friend.

“Winchester? Novak?”

“Come on, let’s go you hippie.” Dean laughed as the attendant called their names for their canoe.

There were a number of other people milling around waiting their turns for a spin on the lake and Dean tried his damndest not to notice how most of them appeared to be couples.

“Winchester-Novak?” An older guy with a clipboard and faded baseball cap asked as Castiel excitedly nodded. Dean tried not to focus on how nice the two names sounded together.

“Yep. How much?” He asked fishing out his wallet. Cas already distracted by the canoes and rowboats sitting along the shore. Dean tried to ignore the way the guys eyes flicked between him and Cas, Cas’s bag of supplies, and the cooler.

“This one Dean, this one perfect.” Cas said as he sprinted off towards a green canoe. Dean sighed and handed the operator over some cash.

“Enjoy your date.” They guy said with a friendly nod before calling the next set of names. Dean grit his teeth, hunching his shoulders. Date, yeah sure, he thought. The absent comment pushed from his mind as Cas tried to climb into the canoe almost tipping it and all of his art supplies into the lake.

Dean sprinted forward in time to grab Cas by the elbow and right him. Taking the heavy bag of supplies he assisted Castiel into the far end of the canoe and then set the bags down in the middle. “Careful with the sandwiches!” Dean said as he helped Castiel into one of the two little seats.

“Wouldn't it have been easier to rent a rowboat?” Dean asked as he picked up the paddle and pressed it down into the shallow water, sinking it into the muck at the lakes edge to get a good push out into the lake.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.” Cas said absently his eyes already on the shivering reflections of the water.

Dean sighed and paddled them out, he knew Castiel was going to be no help as the younger man shifted around in his seat pointing in different directions for Dean to take them.

“Here!! This is it, it’s perfect.” Dean slowed the canoe to a stop towards the back of the lake, his shoulders ached and he had begun to sweat. There was a large weeping willow and a few cherry blossom trees on this end of the lake. It was more isolated, as many of the other boaters weren’t inclined to make the twenty minutes trip by paddle all the way over there. Only one other boat with a single occupant drifted out this far with them.

“Yes, this is perfect!” Castiel said reaching into his bag and pulling out a large pad and some charcoal pencils. Dean recognized the look on his friends face, the way his eyes narrowed and his brows pinched. How his full lips thinned out into a thoughtful line. His long fingers scrubbing over the page. Castiel was lost to his art. Dean sighed flopping back in the canoe he resigned himself to a long day on the lake. At least it was nice out. A person could really enjoy the cool breeze and natural quiet after being stuck on a college campus for weeks on end.

Dean sat for a while enjoying the solitude before his stomach gave a grumble. “Hey! Gimme my bribe!” He said holding his hand out a smile on his lips. Castiel flicked a glance to him and grunted using his foot to push the blue cooler towards Dean.

Digging through its contents he pulled out his prize. A thick fresh italian loaf, with a garlic pesto aioli, thick cuts of mozzarella, thin slices of prosciutto, and a smattering of baby spinach. There was also two beers and a bottle of water. Dean’s mouth watered as he drew in a deep breath of the delicious treat. He moaned around the first bite and the boat rocked slightly causing his eyes to pop open. Castiel was staring resolutely out over the water a faint blush on he cheeks. Dean smirked to himself and took another bite, giving a deep groan, Castiel’s eyes widened slightly and then he quickly dipped his head his hand flying over the paper.

“Shh.” he scolded and Dean couldn't help but laugh. Maybe, after all this time, Castiel wasn’t as immune to Dean as Dean thought he was.

Time passed quickly and finally Dean convinced Castiel to stop and eat, so distracted with his project and the lake it had taken Dean threatening to eat Castiel’s half of the sandwich to get him to finally look up.

“Oh man.” Dean laughed, at some point Castiel had rubbed a thick line of black charcoal along his cheek. “How do you always end up wearing more of your supplies then your art?” Dean asked and without thinking reached out and began to rub the thick line with his fingers.

Castiel stilled under his ministrations, eyes wide, lips parted and Dean couldn't help but feel that this, right now, this is the time, just kiss him and it's done, and he’ll know and that's it. But once again he didn’t, pulling his hand back Dean licked his lips, “Right... There you go.” he said before looking back out over the lake again.

“Thanks…” Castiel whispered as Dean settled back on his side of the boat. His eyes kept drifting to Castiel though, unable to ignore how passionate and focused the other man was. Dean had always admired that about Cas, his blind ambition, how he never gave a fuck about anything anyone else thought. How he maddeningly pursued his goals.

When Cas had come out as pansexual, it had seemed so natural on him. No one blinked an eye at it, just another day with Castiel, but it had rocked Dean’s world. Dean settled back in the canoe, closing his eyes letting the bright sun overhead warm his skin. Dean’s world of overbearing fathers and baseball and preconceived notions of love and success. Dean let out a rough sigh. Curling his hands behind his head he let the gentle rocking of the boat and the scratching of Castiel's charcoal pencil lull his stress away.

“Dean…”

“Dean… wake up.”

Dean snapped awake rocking the canoe they were in. “Jesus…” he groaned the boat gave a lurch and Castiel yelped gripping the edge.

“Sorry Cas.” he grumbled sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Again Castiel had rubbed charcoal all over his face and Dean couldn’t do anything but laugh. The man was adorable.

“Please, no worries. You were perfect today Dean, as always. Thank you for all of your help today. I find I get so much more work done when you’re around.” Castiel sighed happily as he flipped his sketchbook closed and slipped it back into his bag. “I think we should head back now, most of the other boats have been back for some time.”

“Sure thing Cas. I know you only love me for my muscle.” Dean winked as he picked up the oar and turned them back towards the shore.

------

“Hey Winchester!” Gordon’s voice pulled Dean from whatever Castiel had been saying. Something about a museum and a limited showing, he didn’t understand but Cas was excited about it so it must be good.

Gordon, Al, Cole, and Inias were heading their way and Gordon looked like he had just won nationals. The shit eating grin split his normally angry face. His dark eyes flicked between Dean and Castiel his smile only growing wider.

“Hey, Cassie was it?” Gordon asked as the group came to a stop by Dean and Castiel. Gordon looked fit to burst. “Good friend of yours huh Dean?” Gordon asked and Dean narrowed his eyes at his teammate.

“His names Castiel and yeah he is...” Dean said suspiciously.

“Dean and I have been very close since high school.” Castiel offered, obviously not picking up on the dangerous air.

“That right?” Gordon said feigning surprise. “Long time huh? You guys always go on romantic dates together?” he said with a shrug causing Al and Inas to snicker behind him,

“What?” Dean asked feeling a crack in his carefully constructed foundation beginning to form.

Gordon pulled the campus newspaper out from his back pocket, the front article was about the romantic vistas of the newly reopened lake and walking trail, and right there, as the main photo of the article, were Cas and Dean. Dean groaned and he felt Cas stiffen at his side.

The photo was the exact moment Dean had reached out to rub the charcoal from Castiel’s face. It looked bad, it looked like one of those stupid romantic comedy movie posters. Them in their stupid little canoe framed by the stupid weeping willow, and the stupid cherry blossom trees. The longer Dean looked at the photo the more he saw his stupid love stricken face staring at Cas’s… stupid… love stricken….. face…. It couldn't be? Could it?

Dean glanced at Cas and saw the blush rising over his features. God he was beautiful, all that dark hair, those blue eyes, brimming with so much passion and strength. He watched as Castiel's chin came up, his blue eyes flashing as the caught Dean’s and Dean knew it was now or never. He knew that whatever he said in this moment Castiel would back, but it would change them forever.

He wasn’t going to fuck it up.

“Got something you wanna tell us Winchester?” Gordon taunted. “Wouldn’t be nuthin that would ruin your full ride here would it?” Al burst out laughing clutching his side and leaning against Gordon.

“Yeah, always thought you were a bit of a queer!” Al wheezed over Gordon’s shoulder.

Dean’s hands fisted at his side, Cole and Inias looked uncomfortable and Castiel looked like he would reign fire down from the heavens if he could. For some reason it brought a strange sense of calm to Dean. Seeing Castiel get angry on his behalf. Dean smiled.

“Naw, Gordon, I don’t have anything to tell you.” Dean said calmly his smile growing as Castiel looked over at him confused. Dean lifted his arm and draped it over Castiel’s shoulder. Hoping he wasn’t wrong, hoping that the way Castiel looked in that newspaper article was really how he felt about Dean. Castiel instinctively lent against him, Dean said, “You got anything to tell them, babe?”

Without waiting, Dean lifted Castiel's chin and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Felling the other man’s breath catch in his chest, Dean leaned in and deepened the kiss. Castiel’s hands came up and fisted against the front of his shirt. Dean pulled back slightly lost in the shimmering blue of Castiel’s eyes he whispered “Been wanting to do that for years now, Cas.”

“God, me too!” Cas laughed out throwing his arms around Deans shoulders and kissing him back.

“You fucking faggot.” Gordon sneered, causing Dean to pull back from Cas’s lips, an angry frown on his face. “I’ll be sure you get kicked off the team, I won’t play ball with some cock sucker like you.”

“Actually Gordon, I think it’s you we're going to have a problem with.” Head coach Singer's voice called from where he’d been standing in the doorway to the locker rooms. “Discrimination, name calling, defamatory language.. I don’t think our team has a place for someone as intolerant as you.”

Gordon stared mouth open at their coach.

“What! You’ve got to be kidding me Coach! We’ll be a laughing stock with this fa…”

“That’s enough Gordon! One more word and I’ll be filing sexual discrimination paperwork on behalf of Winchester and his partner. Now get in my office, or do you want your seven game suspension to turn into something more!” Singer barked “You too Alistar!”

Dean couldn't help but smile, the man of his dreams tucked under his arm, the bane of his existence suspended, if not fully barred entirely, from the team. Dean never thought in his wildest dreams he could be so happy as Gordon and Al slunk off into the locker room. Cole and Inas making themselves scarce. Castiel reached up, his paint covered fingers sliding through Dean's hair.

“You’re serious right?” he asked his voice trembled slightly. “Because I was, I swear.”

“Hell yea.” Dean smiled closing the distance between them and sealing their lips together. Everything was perfect, Dean finally felt like the pieces of his life fit together seamlessly.

Castiel was magic, well, ok, maybe a little bit of it was the canoe.

#destiel #flash fiction #first kiss #friends to lovers #some homophobic language please be warned #i didn't really edit this #sorry.

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attract-mode-collective · 8 years ago

Photo

Love May Dwindle Between Street Fighters, But There Will Always Be Paris

The above is from Bastien Vives, which recently made a reappearance on Twitter (thanks for the heads up @VitaminSteve). Though I’ve known about them for some time now, dating all the way back since 2010, when Eric posted them on GSW!

Anyhow, here are two others in the series…

I’d also end up sharing another illustration of Bastien’s on GSW myself, which was part of another series…

BTW, I’ve been trying to get ahold of Bastien for literally years now, so if anyone could please pass this post along to him, along with the following message, that would be awesome:

“Bastien! I’m a HUGE fan of your work and would love to work together! There’s an art show I’m putting together and would be honored to have you take part! So let’s talk; my email is [email protected].”

So what else has been going on? Well, lots of stuff as usual, though for starters, there’s going to be a Papers Please? movie! Well, a short film at least; here’s @dukope with some production shots…

Also, according to Eric at his regular digs, there’s gonna be another Seaman!

Hopefully this one makes it onto US shores, cuz I’m still bummed that the last follow up for the PS2 never arrived here…

As for “actual news”, you know how Trump brought out the best in folks on Twitter this past week? Including those who enjoy making game related gags, and this one might be the my personal fave (via @Nibellion)…

Coming in at a close second we have (via we-love-gaming)…

Speaking of Pokemon; a Blastoise sculpture made out of cheese for whatever reason (via retrogamerblog)…

And here have a more traditional definition of “art”; it’s an oil painting of Marisa Kirisame, and kbnet explains: “Artist is Zarigani Misawa, an art teacher by trade. There was a small exhibition of Touhou art done in traditional media on the 28th where this photo was taken”…

The Verge recently highlighted the work of Matt Anderson, it didn’t so much make me think of what Zelda game on a smart phone could look like but instead a Zelda game in the hands of CAPY…

Here’s a video that’s gotten a surprising amount of attention, though perhaps I shouldn’t be too surprised; The 8-Bit Guy decided to restore a pair of old games that were more than a little rough around the edges, which ended up upsetting classic game and preservationists. And while I understand where they’re coming from, I also love the total DIY route that Dave (aka The 8-Bit Guy’s real first name, I think) employed when replacing the label for Pitfall…

youtube

And here’s a video that hardly anyone has seen, which I’m hoping to correct: my buddy Andy Reitano has been showcasing NESpectre, a project by himself and his pal Zachary Johnson, for quite some time now (my first taste was at the last, and I do mean last, IndieCade East).

Basically, it’s a modified NES that allows people to alter various aspect of a given game by logging in via their smart phones. It’s also one of those things in which you need to see it action to understand, so here’s Andy’s talk from SIGNAL last week…

youtube

BTW, some may recall another project of Andy’s I mentioned around this parts a whiles ago as well, that being Super Russian Roulette. The following was posted on Twitter; “First official run of @adamgetsawesome's batch programming GUI. Wirelessly flashing 5 NES carts at once (with progress bars!)”

Elsewhere on Twitter, another example of game development, courtesy of @dosnostalgic…

And back to the subject of hardware tricky; am not entire sure what’s going on here, which I spotted over at cf-12’s corner, when looking to see if he’s been up to anything new since last checking in…

All right, enough of the house that Mario built, let’s talk Sega, yet also sticking with hardware innovations… or Innoventions as Disney calls them. Here we have the latest from home movie from My Retro Life, which again proudly flaunts the Esposito family’s affinity for the house that Sonic built, even while vacationing at Disney World…

youtube

All I can say is, I would gladly opt for Virtua Formula (that eight player linked Virtua Racing set-up that you might miss if you blink) over that dumbass looking Avatar thing they currently have going on.

And sticking with Sega for just a bit more; some not so funny jokes from a not so funny Sonic joke book (via sonicthehedgeblog). While not directly contributing to them eventually bowing out of the home console business, I still can’t help wonder how little it helped them either…

Remember my mention of an Ulala Figma from a few weeks ago? Well, here it is “in action” (this is mostly just a chance to showcase Good Smile Company’s YouTube page, which I had idea existed until now)…

youtube

Do you also recall that unpainted TwinBee toy I posted pics of a few weeks ago also? Well, here it is in color, cuz it’s now available for pre-order (via miki800.com)…

And a reminder of how Konami used to be a fun place to work, as well as how Konami is attached to Frogger (via vgjunk)…

Please enjoy this downpour of Famicom Disk System discs (via gamergunk)…

Also please enjoy this latest reminder of how batsh*t insane Sonic Blast Man is (via obscurevideogames)…

You know that girl that really likes Sega, as evidenced by the Saturn she wears on her head? Well, she’s into SNK as well, as evidenced by the new shirt that our pals at Fangamer recently released…

Speaking of SNK, I finally have a reason to share the marquee for the mini 2slot MVS that were in certain McDonald’s in Japan. Been looking for the perfect time to share this for ages now (via @turfmasta)…

Here’s something that originally aired on Japanese TV and which I stumbled across on YouTube…

youtube

I’ve looked high and low and cannot find any hard info, so all I have are observations. So for those of you who don’t feel like watching the 20+ minute long clip: for starters, it’s clearly a show that highlights retro gaming, and one of the hosts is… the creator of Dragon Quest?!?! Actually, one of the hosts simply strikes a very close resemblance to Yuji Horii (I’m pretty sure if he was hosing a show, it would be somewhat common knowledge). Also, everyone’s wearing snazzy THUNDERBOX attire!

I believe the guest is the dude whose apartment we visit, which is overflowing with Famicom boxes. Am shocked that he’d allow television cameras come visit, but hey, more power to the guy for being so proud of his collection. We immediately cut to a segment on controllers for the Famicom, with the highlight being an inflatable motorcycle! After that is their version of the Power Pad and their version of the Power Glove. Turns out, the latter is just as unmanageable as its American equivalent. And finally they bust out the Switch cuz the milking mini game in 1-2-Switch makes for great television.

And finally here, gonna wrap things up with the final thing I shared in that GSW post of mine that I posted at the very top. Which basically served as the prototype for the Attract Mode blog, as anyone can tell. Anyhow, here we have the ultimate dream team of Link and WWE Chairman and CEO Vince McMahon…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

Text

GOP delays House vote on ‘compromise’ immigration bill

Video

GOP delays House vote on ‘compromise’ immigration bill

Republicans regroup after first immigration bill is voted down in the House; reaction and analysis on ‘The Five.’

This is a rush transcript from “The Five,” June 21, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I’m Dana Perino along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It’s 5 o’clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”

Several big developments on immigration, house lawmakers rejecting a conservative bill introduced by house judiciary committee chairman Bob Goodlatte. As for what’s being called the compromise bill drafted by the Republican leadership, the vote on that is being delayed until tomorrow to try to shore up more support. Over at the White House, President Trump is continuing to going after Democrats after ending the controversial practice of separating migrant families.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: My administration is also acting swiftly to address the illegal immigration crisis on the southern border, loopholes in our immigration laws all supported by extremist open border Democrats. People are suffering because of the Democrats. So, we’ve created and they’ve created and they’ve let it happen, a massive child smuggling industry. The worse everything looks, they think the better they’re going to do with respect to the blue wave, which is turning out frankly to be a red wave if you look at the poll. The Democrats are causing tremendous damage and destruction and lives by not doing something about this. And they know that.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: The president reiterating that he doesn’t want to separate children from their parents but is still sticking by his zero tolerance policy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: If we took zero tolerance away, you would be overrun. You’d have millions of people pouring through our border. If you took zero tolerance away, everybody would come right now. They’d be getting their little belongings, unfortunately, and they would be heading up. You would be — you would have a run on this country the likes of which nobody has ever seen.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: And First Lady Melania Trump making a surprise visit to a detention center housing migrant children along the border in Texas. But her fashion choice appears to be overshadowing a trip. The first lady wearing a jacket bearing the words, I really don’t care, do you? A spokesperson responding to media speculation saying it’s a jacket. There was no hidden message. Having lived through mission accomplished for many years, I am sympathetic with the White House. Obviously, was not intended to show any sort of message. But back to the important thing at hand. Kimberly, the Republicans said we don’t have enough support for either of these bills. We have to stop and try to figure out a way to do that. There’s going to be a conference. I think they’re meeting right now behind closed doors. This is the third behind closed doors meeting they have had on this week. What do you think will happen and will that vote get enough — that vote get enough support tomorrow?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: I think, look, obviously, I’m for behind closed doors meeting. Hopefully they’re working on it and they’re building some, you know, coalition there. Getting some consensus to move. Obviously, they can tell that the American people want some resolution of this. The president would like something to come forward. However, I think it might be a little bit of a struggle because there is some pretty, you know, differing opinions and viewpoints and he also has his base he’s thinking about. He has, obviously, this issue which is on a tremendous amount of political attention. You’ve got midterm elections coming up. You know he campaigned on getting things done and making sure that he was going to make positive changes. He’s somebody who is very good at getting deals done. So, you know, I’m optimistic and that he’s going to get involved in this and try very hard to push on it. He’s got to get the votes. Right now they don’t have them, but it doesn’t mean that they won’t get them. And as for the fashion statement, I mean, it’s a jacket. Let’s relax.

PERINO: Jesse, the fact that the conservative bill passed today. The president said he supported both bills. But now that that one has failed, if it’s possible if the president said I am for this bill, I will give you cover on this bill, you should vote for it, that it could pass?

JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: The president can only do so much with the house. I mean, the dirty little secret is the open borders, cheap labors, big business lobby has a lot of power over Republicans. And we’re not going to get any help from the Democrats at all. So, there’s just no consensus and there’s nothing that’s ever going to be done on immigration. I don’t even think after the midterms it’s ever going to get done. And the Democrats when they had a super majority under Barack Obama they did nothing on immigration. The Democrats just want to blame Republicans for the issue and score political point. But I don’t think this whole separating families thing is a big winner for the Democrats. I think they’ve overplayed their hands. They’ve exposed themselves as complete open borders advocates. The president completely shut the deal down. He’s keeping families together. Now they’re complaining that they’re abusing children. Melania goes down and now they’re complaining about the jacket. You’re never going to get a win on this issue. I think like a normal issue like gas prices, healthcare, jobs, those are the things that actually affect the lives of everyday Americans. Yes, migrant families will tug at your heart strings and makes you feel sad and you want to find a solution, but it’s not going to be a driving issue for regular voters in the midterm elections.

PERINO: And, Greg, I had Congressman Burgess on the 2 o’clock show today.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Good for you.

PERINO: I’m getting to a good point. He’s part of the — he’s a Texas congressman.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: . a doctor, a conservative guy, he wanted both bills to pass. He decided to vote for them. And he’s on something called the immigration reform caucus. And I said, in the caucus do you actually have Democrats that are willing to come to the table on this? And he said no. That he has tried talking to them and that he can’t get anywhere. And he does think that they just want to be obstructionist.

Gregg: Yeah, I don’t think it’s about the kids. It’s always going to be about Trump. This is about 2016, and it’s about 2018 and 2020. It’s about elections. We know that what Trump does will never be enough. It will be seen as even less humane than what was before. So, the liberal opinion is this. If you split up families you’re a Nazi, whether the family is pretend or not you’re a Nazi. But if you keep them together you’re worse than a Nazi. So they actually have no solution. Liberals become paralyzed when faced with having to solve a problem. And the media puts some notion before facts so they just contribute to it.

So now you’re having critics of Trump actually arguing against their own wishes. So, now, OK, we’re going to keep the families together, or the pseudo families together, or whatever, you should be happy that they’re now detained. Now that’s awful. I have to give credit to CNN because I always bash CNN. But I said yesterday that a lot of these problems existed under Obama and they were really, really bad problems, but the media never talks about it. Finally, I think it was senator — I can’t remember the name of the senator — Baldwin? But, Brook Baldwin asked a very simple question. Can we throw that?

PERINO: Yes, sure, absolutely.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: Here’s a question for Democrats. So many people in this country are certainly outraged by the K-do’s, and the thermal blankets, and the facilities housing these kids, you know. They were all there in 2014 under President Obama. And my question to you, Senator Baldwin, is did you speak up against them then?

SEN. TAMMY BALDWIN (D), WISONSIN: You know, on this issue that we get into a moment where we’re making progress and then when it stalls, we turn around. I think we all need to continue to be focused on it and press it through.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So she just exposed how political this is.

WATTERS: Was that English? I didn’t understand a word she said.

GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah. They didn’t care before.

PERINO: And, actually — and before, Juan, Chuck Schumer has voted for wall funding before. And a lot of the money that is being talked about right now in the current bill that’s under consideration is $25 billion, so not necessary for all new wall. A lot of it is to shore up and to approve parts of the wall that we already have. But he says now that he can’t support it.

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Right. And remember, there was a deal between Democrats and the president. The president was one who backed out of that deal a long time ago. So, I think, to the contrary, what Greg was saying, I think you have a situation where you have evidence here, Republicans have the majority in the house, Republicans have the majority in the senate, and what you have is fights among Republicans that are continuing to paralyze their ability to pass any legislation. I think that’s what we’re seeing writ large today. Republicans can’t get it together and they have people literally fighting on the house floor. Congressman Mark Meadow of the freedom caucus going face-to-face, pointing, moving away, coming back to continue to fight with speaker.

PERINO: He said he was just being passionate.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, right. So, what you have here is a situation where the president, I think, contrary to what I’m hearing here is, the president likes the idea of saying it’s the Democrats’ fault. Remember, the president said this is the law. I can’t do anything about it. It’s up to the congress. Then he turns tail and signs executive order and, guess what, undoes it.

PERINO: But then.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Because you know how soft executive orders are because everything Obama did was executive orders, and then Trump just got rid of them. That’s why you have congress take care of immigration law.

WILLIAMS: If you don’t let me talk I guess you won’t have a show. But I’m just saying you have the president as the one who’ve said, oh, I can’t do anything about it. It’s up to them. And he’s the one who literally changes course and has to do it. He’s back as we’ve saw last night in Minnesota to try to demonize not only the Democrats but the immigrants again. He said I’m strong. I’m going to enforce these borders. These people will run over the border. What is he talking about? Does anybody say, hey, Mr. President, stop lying?

PERINO: Well, here’s the thing, Kimberly, that regardless of what happens on this particular bill tomorrow it still has to pass the senate.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

PERINO: And this issue is not going away. It fuels a lot of passion and people feel really strongly about it on all sides. What do you think is the strategy to try to actually solve the problem and not deal with the politics of this? Both sides are playing it.

GUILFOYLE: Of course they are, right? That’s an honest statement and a reflection of what’s going on. But, nevertheless, I do believe that the president does want to do something about this. He likes to see things and say there’s a problem here, I’m going to be the guy who’s going to fix it. So, would he like congress to be able to act? Yes. So it’s long lasting change from a legislative perspective versus an executive order like Jesse points out that can be undone? Yes. He’s at a rally. He’s not demonizing anybody. I mean, let’s not sugar coat the issue. You’re not supposed to break the law and come into the country illegally. Nevertheless, we have to deal with this issue and with children coming over in a compassionate way but still enforce the law. This nation, this country has a right to have its laws upheld and have them observed, and there’s policies and procedures in place. We welcome immigrants. All of us have background as immigrants, and family members that have come over here, great. God bless, OK? We embrace people. This is a country that is very humanitarian. This is a president who cares deeply about families and about children. He’s proved that over and over again. Give him the opportunity to fix it.

PERINO: The President of the United States, commander-in-chief, solemn responsibility is protection of the country.

WILLIAMS: Yeah. But he’s not supposed to go around calling people an infestation, animals, criminals, rapists.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Peter Fonda, yesterday, did you, Juan. You thought Peter Fonda just misused some words.

WILLIAMS: No, no. You’re the one that likes to say we should — don’t take Trump’s word so seriously. Look at his actions here, Greg. His actions are just horrific. And that’s why Americans are saying.

GUILFOYLE: He just fixed the issue. He just fixed the issue.

GUTFELD: Well, now they’re putting together. They’re being detained together, but yet that’s horrific. You know what’s interesting, the irony here, is that it took Donald Trump for these hypocrites to finally act or pretend to act. If they had another four years of a liberal president, or a Democrat, the scandals of unaccompanied minors would have continued. Just the way it did under Obama. But now they care. Why? Because there’s a Republican. And it wouldn’t matter if it’s Trump. If it was Marco Rubio, if it was Jeb Bush, they’d still be demonizing and it’s not the same. Both sides are not politicizing it. It’s on the same level. It is so out of proportion on the left’s side because they have ignored the suffering of children for so long until now. But they don’t care about Chicago. They care about 2,000 kids. We care about 2,000 kids. We care about all the kids. Pro-lifers care about all the kids, Juan, can you shake your head.

WILLIAMS: No, because it’s so — so absurd. You know what you have here.

GUTFELD: Donate to Planned Parenthood.

WILLIAMS: You have a situation here where the president is the one who put in place the policy. First, it was the dreamers. Remember he undid the dreamers. Then he changed the policy with regard to separating children from parents. And you act like, oh, it’s the Democrats. These are actions taken by President Trump.

GUTFELD: Read the Washington Post piece from 2016.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Read the Washington Post from 2016 about the children that were abused that were let in under Obama.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: You know what the policy is that started? It’s catch and release, Juan. That’s what attracts all of this migration. And when you get rid of catch and release, you have a zero tolerance policy.

WILLIAMS: This is like Trump saying everybody is going to rush over the border.

WATTERS: If you build a wall and you don’t do the catch and release, then that’s why have you border security.

GUTFELD: Senator Rob Portman exposed this in 2016.

WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Juan, if the Democrats take over Congress, are they going to be able to solve this issue?

WILLIAMS: I hope so. Because one of the realities here.

GUILFOYLE: Well, they didn’t do it before when they had control of both. They didn’t do anything after Obama.

WILLIAMS: What are you talking about? It was under President Bush in ’06 that Republicans defeated an attempt at comprehensive immigration reform.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, no.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Bottom line, you don’t want border security. Bottom line.

GUTFELD: It doesn’t matter.

WATTERS: You want open borders, Juan, just admit it.

WILLIAMS: You know what? I can say horrible things about you.

WATTERS: That’s not horrible, that’s a policy difference.

WILLIAMS: That’s not true.

WATTERS: We believe in border security.

WILLIAMS: . that’s why I say it’s horrible.

WATTERS: . you don’t.

WILLIAMS: Here’s the reality. Most people who come.

WATTERS: That’s the reality.

WILLIAMS: . illegally are not crossing any border by foot. They’re flying.

WATTERS: Juan, if you want border security, you have the TSA at the airport, but you want open border on the south makes no sense.

WILLIAMS: I don’t want any open border. I’m just telling you this is all about political.

GUTFELD: This is great TV. Keep it going. People love this stuff.

PERINO: Wait. All right. President Trump slams Democratic elitism, his fiery remarks, a little but even more than that, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Was that a man or a woman because he needs a haircut more than I do. I couldn’t tell. He needs a haircut.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That’s our Donald. Last night’s rally was nothing new, the crowd loved him. The people who already hate him will just hate him more. And the media pats itself on the head for not covering it while secretly watching Fox News. Too bad, they totally missed an opportunity to call him Hitler.

So, for the bias-impaired here’s news: Trump just reduced the risk of nuclear war. He also got remains of 200 U.S. soldiers back from North Korea just a week after the issue was raised. He’s bringing in record-low unemployment, helping women and minorities most. He’s addressed trade imbalances as our GDP climbs higher.

So, if he’s monster, he might be the worst monster ever — meaning, not a monster at all. That’s why optimism is high: 95 percent of manufacturers have a positive company outlook. It’s good news. Even if the elites deny it. And about those elites:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Do you ever notice they always call the other side, and they do this — the elite. The elite. Why are they elite? I have a much better apartment than they do.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

TRUMP: I’m smarter than they are. I’m richer than they are. I became president and they didn’t.

(APPLAUSE)

TRUMP: And I’m representing the greatest, smartest, most loyal, best people on earth: the deplorables. Remember that?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That’s key. Now bragging is never appealing, but he’s not wrong that by wealth he’s an elitist, yet, he’s still embraced by working classes. No wonder the De Niro’s, the Madonna’s, the Depp’s, the Fonda’s all unravel. Trump is richer than them all, but closer to the street than they are. How can that be? The answer is he makes promises and fights to keep them. And besides, for you deplorables at the rally the outrage celebrity class will always deem you to be the uncool kids. Trump defends you against the jerks.

So, it’s not about wealth or apartments. It’s about speaking up for people that the media celebrity complex snickers at. And it’s why when everything seems to be working out those snickers seem truly from Mars.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Did you like that, Dana?

PERINO: Yeah, in the milky way.

GUTFELD: Are you like those silly little puns. Is Donald Trump a bit like your rich uncle always telling your — why can’t your buddy get a haircut?

PERINO: I grew up in Wyoming where it’s like tight short haircut. My Aunt Donna.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: . is the one who does the haircuts in the kitchen every couple weeks there. You know what I was thinking about today who might — I’m trying to go one other person who had this ability. Someone who’s successful, wealthy, a celebrity, but who is still considered blue collar.

GUTFELD: Me.

PERINO: I came up with Clint Eastwood.

GUTFELD: Oh, yeah.

PERINO: And I think it’s partly because of the art that he chose. The way that he chose to — the movies he directed. The how he acted. The things that he did. There’s not many others.

GUTFELD: Yeah, he speaks the language, Jesse. And it’s like — but I want to go back to the haircut thing.

WATTERS: Sure.

GUTFELD: Because I believe the haircut thing is about being presentable for a job. That’s how a salesman — it’s like get a haircut, Jesse.

WATTERS: Clean it up, Watters. Yeah. But he’s also a man’s man. And, you know, you speak about these man buns and you can mock a man bun now in 2018.

GUILFOYLE: Greg does.

WATTERS: We still can do that. And the rest of the people are afraid to talk about other people’s appearance because they may be being accused of being insensitive. Donald Trump has never been afraid of being called insensitive, right. So, he’s like the common man for a few reasons. One, he’s dealt with contractors all his life. Remember, he’s like, I can smell a contractor. But it’s true. You know, as a real estate developer you deal with the pipe fitters, the masons, the electrical engineers, and he’s great at that. And he also eats fast food not for a photo op because he actually likes it.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

GUILFOYLE: Like us.

WATTERS: He speaks in a blunt, brash style that connects with the average American. And, to be honest, he has that aspirational celebrity. For many generations, people and the rest of the country looked up to Donald Trump. They like the women he was around. They liked the planes. They liked the style. They liked the jets. And if you want to become rich in America, you wanted to be like Donald Trump. And let’s not forget before he ran for president, athletes wanted to live in Trump Tower. All the real estate guys they wanted some, you know, tee times at his golf clubs.

GUTFELD: Most cited celebrity in rap music.

WATTERS: Exactly. And all the advertising executive they wanted a piece of the action. This guy was it. And the minute he runs for president he’s Hitler.

GUTFELD: You know Trump deals with masons not free mason. All right, Juan, I know.

GUILFOYLE: Look at Juan

GUTFELD: . those are like the elitist establishment versus the everyday man.

PERINO: My grandfather was a free mason, though.

GUTFELD: That’s explain it, Dana.

PERINO: But on my mom’s side.

GUTFELD: Are you part of the trilateral.

PERINO: Rawlings, Wyoming.

GUTFELD: Juan, I know you loved that rally. You recorded it and played it five times.

WILLIAMS: Well, I’m just amazed. You didn’t think about — the question is the apartment.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: His apartment is better than their apartment.

GUTFELD: I know.

WILLIAMS: My gosh. Not only that he’s smarter, richer, he has a better apartment.

PERINO: But he also lives in the west wing.

WILLIAMS: Oh, my God. You talk about a petty person who makes everything about him.

GUTFELD: That was funny. He’s being funny.

WILLIAMS: I don’t think he’s being funny. I think that’s him. That’s what the way he feels. I got a better apartment, so how come I’m not elite?

GUILFOYLE: That’s just his personality. You take everything so literally.

GUTFELD: Let me just try to explain it. What he was trying to say that he — he could be in that group but you love me and I love you. That’s what I got out of it.

WILLIAMS: No, no, no. I’ll tell you what it was.

GUTFELD: It wasn’t insulting to anybody.

WILLIAMS: No, I think it was worthy of mockery, I tell you that, because my apartment is bigger than yours, my button is bigger than yours — I mean, this is the way he talks. This is who he is. But I’m just saying, you ask about how he relates to people. You say, well, oh, these other celebrities they don’t have the support of the working man. Let me just tell you something, I’m not sure he has the support of the working man on separating children from parents. I don’t think he has the support of the working man — what he does is he pushes.

GUTFELD: He brought them together now.

WILLIAMS: . hot button issues and fear. And he says, you know what, you can hate Hillary Clinton. He had the crowd last night chanting lock her up, right? He can say things like, oh, go home to your mom to this guy. Why don’t you get a haircut? I don’t know if that’s a man or a woman.

GUTFELD: That’s a terrible impression, Juan.

WILLIAMS: No, no, no. He hates on Clinton. He hates on everybody. And then he says, you know what, maybe those Hispanics, those immigrants, they’re terrible, too. And you say.

GUTFELD: What’s that about Hispanics? I missed that. I think he meant MS-13.

WILLIAMS: His appeal is based on hateful language and he appeals to the worse.

GUTFELD: So we’re all bad people. Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: I don’t know. I think America is great. I think the president was saying that last night what an incredible country and supporters and trying to do something. He’s actually followed through and had tremendous accomplishments like we reiterated numerous times on this show. And I don’t know, for myself, in terms of as a Puerto Rican woman and looking at other minorities, are quite pleased. The numbers are going up in terms of — no. In terms of their favorability about the president, yes. And you see key numbers going down, unemployment. Why wouldn’t somebody be happy about that? Lower unemployment for women, for minorities, for Hispanics, for blacks, ISIS gone, we’ve got record job numbers.

WATTERS: And Kimberly’s apartment is nicer than yours.

WILLIAMS: I bet it is. I bet it is. How about John — remember last night, he not only was attacking Pelosi and Clinton. He then goes after John McCain.

WATTERS: You did watch the rally, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I can read.

GUTFELD: Will President Trump’s booming economy spell bad news for Nancy Pelosi and company come November? That’s straight ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(MUSIC: THE O’JAYS, “FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY”)

GUILFOYLE: I like that.

While the left rages about immigration, President Trump is touting the booming economy. Jobs are up, unemployment numbers are at historic lows. And small business and manufacturing confidence is surging. On the heels of this momentum the president is urging voters to back GOP candidates in November or else.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We need more Republicans. We’ve got to get out there in the midterm. We’ve got to get more Republicans. We’ve got to get more Republicans.

A vote for a Democrat for Congress is really a vote for Nancy Pelosi and her radical agenda.

They want to put on more regulations. They want to take back your tax cuts, which are massive. They want to take them back, and they want to raise the hell out of your taxes, and the whole thing will go boom.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: Can’t call Greg. He’s nervous right now.

OK, Dana.

PERINO: Well, it’s certainly like even three months ago the Democrats looked to be in a much better position for the midterm elections. That has pretty much been erased. New poll today, I can’t remember which poll it was, but it was a legit one showing the congressional ballot now just 6 points, where it was 15 points for Democrats in March. So something is happening there.

But a couple other things I think that the Republicans should be concerned about. One is that I just watched an ad by M.J. Hegar. She’s a Democrat running against a congressman, an incumbent congressman in Texas. It’s one of the best ads I have ever seen. And she’s a — it’s not a progressive bunch of thing.

She’s a veteran. She took on the Defense Department for women in combat. She’s now running against a congressman, that was her congressman that said that they didn’t want to meet with her, because she was not a donor.

So, they’re not, like, running on really progressive issues in some of these competitive districts. So the Democrats have been really smart on that.

The other thing that I think that’s interesting is that a new Pew poll that also was today, Republicans trusted on the economy by plus 9 over Democrats. So that’s really good. Only plus 1 on trade. I think that’s what’s happening.

But what are people talking about today, this past week, and who knows what we’ll talk about next week? Immigration. And I was really surprised by this number, that Democrats have a 14-point advantage over Republicans on immigration. And I was really surprised about that.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, that’s — what do you think about that number, Jesse? Because, you know, that’s double digits, right? But it’s not something that can’t be turned around.

WATTERS: Well, maybe that’s depressed conservatives who are upset that the wall hasn’t been built fast enough. You could see that, obviously.

And on another note, the economy, if you have a good committee in a midterm election, it’s going to help you. And a lot of the rejections that you’ve seen, I think it was 2010 with Barack Obama. That was a huge rejection of Obamacare. Or in 2006, when the Democrats swept in under President Bush, that was a rejection of all those scandals, you know, Foley and all that stuff. And a little bit of the Iraq War.

I don’t see an issue right now in the country where the Republicans have overreached or blown it or done something so awful that the rest of the country has to say, “Smack you in the face, and we need the Democrats to come in and take over.”

With the roaring economy and record-breaking consumer confidence. And safety. I mean, ISIS has been defeated. People feel safe. And the Republicans are evaluated very highly on national security. Safety and prosperity, I think, are really going to help Republicans in November.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, all right. Greg, do you want to talk about this or what you thought the block was going to be about?

GUTFELD: No, but —

GUILFOYLE: I want to be there for you.

GUTFELD: Jesse’s point, for 18 months they’ve been trying to find that one issue, the one issue that — because when you — when you decided that Donald Trump was Satan on the very first day he was president, you run the risk of running Satan fatigue. So that’s why a lot of this stuff isn’t sticking anymore.

And it’s amazing to watch the left, you know, immerse in all this good news. They’re like gold panners in 1849 with a little pan. They’re trying to find that one nugget of bad news. It’s in here somewhere. That shows this country —

WATTERS: Prospectors.

GUTFELD: Yes, the prospectors. “I think I’ve got some bad news here,” and they’re not.

And the worst thing is their confirmation bias is running out of confirmation. So all they have is their bias, which is going to lead to this cognitive dissonance, which is now building up to the point where they’re calling everybody Nazis and going after Trump’s kids. You are witnessing full-grade hysteria.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, I mean, it’s hard to know where to start, because the conversation has gone off the rails. But let me just say that it was the Republicans who thought that the economy was really going to be their key message for the midterms and have found so far in all this special elections and even gubernatorial elections, Senate elections, it hasn’t worked.

Why? Because like last night in Minnesota. Here he is talking about trade, but, guess what? A place like Duluth, they’re going to lose about 1,800 jobs, I should say, because of trade wars with, guess who? Canada, their neighbor to the north.

You look at the stock market, the stock market’s lost all of its gains, I think, on Tuesday.

GUILFOYLE: Not true.

WILLIAMS: For the years. So it went backwards.

You talk about the average tax cut for the person in Minnesota, 80 percent of Minnesotans, $700 tax cut.

GUTFELD: Crumbs.

WILLIAMS: So the tax cut has not had the kind of impact.

GUILFOYLE: OK.

WILLIAMS: And then finally, you have deficits. Deficits that Republicans used to say —

GUTFELD: A Democrat cares about deficits, everyone.

WILLIAMS: Now — Now, it —

GUTFELD: Here’s a nugget.

WILLIAMS: It doesn’t matter.

GUILFOYLE: OK. What can I say? Two hours.

Jimmy Fallon is still apologizing over a year and a half later for his funny 2016 interview with Donald Trump. What he’s saying now, straight ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Welcome back. Remember this “Tonight Show” moment when then- candidate Trump paid a hair-raising visit to Jimmy Fallon?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Go ahead. Give my hair a stroke.

JIMMY FALLON, HOST, NBC’S “THE TONIGHT SHOW”: Yes!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Well, apparently the late-night comedian isn’t laughing about the backlash from that famous interview. The funny man opening up about his personal pain from the fallout.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

FALLON: I did not do it to normalize him or to say I believed in his political beliefs or any of that stuff.

It was definitely a down time, and it’s tough for morale. I made a mistake. I’m sorry if I made anyone mad. And looking back, I would do it differently.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Wow. Well, you know, sometimes in the breaks we hear things. Dana, what do you think?

WATTERS: Keep it clean, Dana.

PERINO: It’s one of the most funny moments in television history. People love politics and entertainment. President Trump was letting himself be vulnerable and have fun and let somebody, like, invade his personal space.

Jimmy Fallon was really hilarious. And his apology reminds me of Jack Dorsey of Twitter having to apologize because he ate at Chick-Fil-A and said he liked it.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

PERINO: So where is the courage, guys? I mean, you remember Nils Crane? He used to say, “If it wasn’t for the starch in your shirt, there’d be nothing holding you up.”

WILLIAMS: Kimberly, part of the problem may be that Stephen Colbert now beats Fallon regularly. And Fallon identifies —

GUTFELD: In ratings.

WILLIAMS: Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. And Fallon identifies this moment as the one in which people just said, “You know, we don’t like it.” In fact, it looks like people who are strongly anti-Trump are the ones who’ve had the ratings gains.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I mean, this is pathetic, right? It’s super snowflakey. I don’t know why. I mean, you know what? Why is he, like, getting — apologizing about this? I thought that was good TV, funny. He’s been telling everybody that’s his hair, that it’s real. So now people know.

PERINO: He got the scoop.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, he got the scoop. So, like, why not? It’s just — and the president was good-natured and fun about it. This is — the world is getting ridiculous or more ridiculous.

WILLIAMS: Well, wait a second, wait a second. Let’s get — let’s go to the —

GUILFOYLE: Or more ridiculous.

WILLIAMS: — exactly what Jimmy Fallon said. He people think he normalized Trump.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But he doesn’t share President Trump’s political beliefs, and he wasn’t trying to normalize him.

WATTERS: Well, I think it’s more important to hate Trump than be funny in Hollywood, and that’s sad. Because Jimmy, I believe, is probably the most talented late-night guy.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

WATTERS: I think he is probably the wittiest and the smartest, and I look forward to doing his show one day.

PERINO: I knew it. I knew it.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

PERINO: It’s book preservation.

WATTERS: But in all seriousness, I mean, there’s show business and then there’s politics. This is not “Meet the Press.” Trump went on there. He knew he wasn’t going to get grilled. Fallon knew he was going to have fun, and that’s fine. It’s OK to do that.

I could have Hillary on my show, and I could tousel her hair, and I could make jokes.

GUTFELD: No, you can’t.

GUILFOYLE: Please don’t. Going to normalize Hillary?

WATTERS: And people would do that. Or I could grill her about Benghazi, and then she’d give me boring canned answers. Sometimes there’s a time when you don’t listen to the audience. You just do what you feel is right.

WILLIAMS: So Greg, I remember, I think it was Bill Clinton on Arsenio Hall. And people were saying, “Oh, why are you doing — why is this playing the sax there?” Or you think about some of the interviews, Anthony Bourdain having beers in Vietnam with Obama. He’s “Oh, gosh,” you know, or going hunting with the guy the —

GUILFOYLE: Bear Grylls.

WILLIAMS: Yes. So — and people — people — the conservatives went nuts. “Oh, no. This guy is using media.” Remember that?

GUTFELD: Yes, I wasn’t part of that. So anyway, it’s kind of sad in Hollywood. Politics just isn’t personal. It’s also a survival mechanism, and that’s what he’s figuring out.

But what he — the phrase that is being overused these days is “normalized.” People say that a lot: “You can’t normalize ‘X’ or ‘Y’.” Normalizing Trump as though he’s polio —

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: — or, you know, he’s murder. And it’s — it was cowardly and sad. I really like Jimmy Fallon. But that was probably the lowest point that his life has been in.

GUILFOYLE: I think so.

GUTFELD: And he’s pretty wild.

GUILFOYLE: He should have gone back — he used to have some conservatives talk to him. He was so funny and talented.

GUTFELD: Oh, my God. How sad. Normal — oh.

GUILFOYLE: But now — look what happens. Now he’s —

GUTFELD: Get him a therapy llama.

GUILFOYLE: Very sad.

WILLIAMS: All right. Is a “latte liberal” just a clever jab, or is there finally evidence to back it up? The answer ahead on “The Five.”

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: It turns out the phrase “latte liberal” is based in reality. A new study from the University of Pennsylvania finds liberals do, in fact, drink more lattes than conservatives.

It’s apparently all because of the drink’s Italian heritage. Researchers say liberals are more open to foreign products and globalization, while conservatives embrace products perceived to be made in America.

GUILFOYLE: Like the Big Mac.

WATTERS: Like the Big — Le Big Mac.

Kimberly, also interesting, they say for fast food, liberals prefer Chipotle and Panera. Conservatives prefer Sonic and Hardee’s. What do you make of that?

GUILFOYLE: Wow, that’s kind of funny. Maybe there’s some, you know, science to it, so to speak, and like, they take random surveys or whatever. I know that Greg used to eat Chipotle until he became deadly ill due to his lack of intestinal fortitude.

GUTFELD: I don’t think I was the only one who became deathly ill at Chipotle.

But I agree with this. Conservatives don’t take risks. And at my age mixing milk with coffee is, indeed, a risk.

GUILFOYLE: For everyone around.

GUTFELD: But I should also add coffee should only be taken black. It’s not coffee if you put milk or sugar in it. Then that’s a kid’s drink.

WATTERS: You are such a manly man.

GUTFELD: No, it’s — coffee is —

WATTERS: That is the only manly thing do you.

GUTFELD: It’s beautiful. Black — there’s nothing better than black coffee.

WATTERS: All right. Well, now I feel very effeminate —

GUTFELD: In a tin cup.

WATTERS: — because I drink it with milk and sugar, Dana. Beer —

PERINO: Yes, that’s pretty pathetic.

WATTERS: All right.

GUILFOYLE: You’re getting a little soft these days.

WATTERS: I am getting a little soft. I know. Beers, liberals prefer Heineken and Guinness, imports. Conservatives, Budweiser and Miller.

PERINO: I mean, I’m more of a Coors girl, myself.

WATTERS: The Rocky Mountain.

PERINO: Colorado, yes. And we also have Keystone Light. I don’t know if they still make that, but we sure like that.

WATTERS: That’s some cheap beer, Dana.

And in terms of activities, Juan, liberals do yoga and martial arts, whereas conservatives, archery and woodworking. I do neither of those. But go ahead.

WILLIAMS: No, I think, you know, great. Drink — everybody seems to like coffee, period.

WATTERS: Yes.

WILLIAMS: Both sides. So, what struck me was the commonality, you know, that hey, there’s something everybody likes.

PERINO: We could have a coffee summit.

WILLIAMS: Yes, I think we should have a coffee —

GUTFELD: At Starbucks.

WILLIAMS: And the other point of it was that someone pointed out that, even with lattes, it’s better for the American economy, because it benefits the dairy industry.

And I didn’t realize this. They said coffee beans are grown in several American states. It’s not a foreign product. So if you go to Hawaii, Puerto Rico, California, coffee beans.

PERINO: That’s —

WATTERS: Well, I’m still reeling from being called a weakling by drinking coffee with milk and sugar.

WILLIAMS: That’s OK. It’s OK.

WATTERS: It’s OK. I feel better about it.

GUILFOYLE: You do other stuff.

PERINO: Can somebody Photoshop that, please?

WATTERS: Also, smart phones, liberals prefer the iPhone. Conservatives, Samsung. Now, I just don’t know what the deal is with that.

GUILFOYLE: I’m going to say that’s —

GUTFELD: I’m beginning to call bologna on this whole thing.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, this is not good.

WATTERS: Is this study —

PERINO: I actually think this is true. I mean, I do have an iPhone. But I think that a lot of — it’s almost like conservatives don’t like the herd mentality so much. I’m going to get hate mail on that, right? But Apple became such an icon of liberalness. Right? So then they went with the Samsung, and they think it’s better. And the wars between people who have iPhones or Samsungs, they’re real.

GUTFELD: I don’t — the reason why I call bologna on this, I don’t think politics has anything to do with these choices. It’s just something that they do.

PERINO: Just happens?

GUTFELD: Yes. It just happens. I don’t think about it.

WILLIAMS: The other part of it is age. I think if you had a cohort of liberals, you’re going to find they’re much younger. A cohort of conservatives, they’re much older.

GUTFELD: True.

WILLIAMS: And you’re going to find the conservatives, the older end of that cohort has more disposable income than the younger.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: So —

PERINO: How did that surprise you?

WATTERS: I always think conservatives have more disposable income, because we’re smarter with money.

“One More Thing” is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It’s time now for “One More Thing.” I’ll go first.

Last week Iran’s World Cup team won their first game since 1998. And this week, Tehran’s Provisional Council made a last-minute decision allowing women to attend the screening of the game in Tehran’s largest stadium. It’s the first time they’ve been allowed to do that since 1979.

Iran lost to Spain 0-1, so not a high scoring game. But women still celebrated. Many hope this will lead to permanently reversing their ban. So glad to see them get to go.

GUTFELD: Did Trump have something to do with that?

PERINO: I’m sure he did. I’m sure he did.

All right. Juan.

WILLIAMS: So big news from New Zealand. The Kiwi prime minister had a baby today. That’s right. Jacinda Ardern had a baby girl. She becomes only the second world leader to give birth while in office. The first, Pakistan’s Benazir Bhutto in 1990. And in an interesting twist of fate, today is also Bhutto’s birthday.

Ardern is not married. Her partner, a TV news presenter, plans to be a stay-at-home dad. One Kiwi commentator said it was a historic moment, because the birth shows that pregnant women can do their jobs. Ardern is taking a six-week maternity leave. Congratulations to all.

PERINO: All right. Jesse.

WATTERS: I would like to wish Steven Watters, my father, a very happy 70th birthday.

GUILFOYLE: Happy birthday.

PERINO: Happy birthday, dad.

WATTERS: There is dear old dad. Look how dapper he was. Now everybody knows where I get it from. That’s him playing lacrosse. All-American lacrosse player. It was very cold there in his shadow growing up.

And there he is with my mom taking a selfie. Probably the first selfie ever, back in the 60’s.

GUTFELD: Funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

WATTERS: And now he has a huge beard. I’ve never seen him without a beard. I have no idea what he looks like. And there he is with Ann Watters, “Mom Texts,” as we know her.

So Dad, happy birthday, I love you very much.

PERINO: Happy birthday.

WATTERS: Congratulations.

WILLIAMS: Happy birthday.

PERINO: How sweet.

GUILFOYLE: Happy birthday.

PERINO: Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: — to you. Yes.

OK, so this is super cute. I love the little nostalgic things, parents and sons. So this is a father and son cop duo, and there’s a photo we can show you, so adorable. So this is a 20-year-old photo. And what happened is the 1998 photo shows Officer Andy Golden and his son Michael inside the police cruiser.

And you fast forward to the photo taken this past Father’s Day, shows him seated in the same position but at 6’7″. Can you imagine? So the father and son police officers.

GUTFELD: Don’t try that at home.

GUILFOYLE: Said to make the photo redo was a hard squeeze.

While they’re not partners, his son followed in his footsteps into law enforcement, which is incredible, at the Auburn Police Department. And it’s cute, because the original caption said, “When I get bigger, I’m going to be my dad’s partner and catch bad guys and burglars.”

WATTERS: Nice.

GUILFOYLE: Isn’t that cute?

WATTERS: Very cool.

PERINO: And at that height, he’ll probably have an advantage.

GUILFOYLE: I think it’s adorable.

PERINO: Greg, do you feel jealous about that height?

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: I wish I had a “One More Thing” about a world leader having a baby. Instead, I have gifts from the legendary band, The Misfits, who are big fans of “The Five.”

GUILFOYLE: Oh, wow.

GUTFELD: So everybody gets a Misfits shirt.

WATTERS: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Even Juan. Juan, I know you love The Misfits.

WATTERS: I don’t even know them.

WATTERS: Wait, is this —

GUTFELD: They’re from New Jersey. They’re amazing. Legendary Jerry Only gave them. His mom is a dedicated watcher.

PERINO: I’ve never worn anything like this.

GUTFELD: I can’t wait to see Dana in a Misfits T-shirt.

WATTERS: This will scare people.

GUTFELD: I have a second “One More Thing.”

PERINO: OK.

GUTFELD: Let’s go to it.

GUILFOYLE: Of course do you, diva.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GRAPHIC: Greg’s Breaking Wind News

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: “Greg’s Breaking Wind News.”

GUILFOYLE: What?

GUTFELD: Not breaking news, breaking wind news. This is the greatest video of all time. A giant gust of wind in Commerce, Colorado — Commerce City, Colorado, sent a porta potty into the sky. Look at that. It’s like a time machine.

PERINO: Was it empty?

GUTFELD: It’s like — it’s like, I don’t know. Was it Dr. No? No, Dr. Who. It just flies in the air.

And anyway, no one was hurt. We always have to say that. No one was hurt.

PERINO: You know, I grew up not far from there, and in the summertime in the afternoons, the winds really does pick up. You have a lot of tornado warnings, things like that.

WILLIAMS: Yes. It’s like Dorothy. It’s like “The Wizard of Oz.”

WATTERS: Exactly.

WILLIAMS: Except you’re in a port-a-potty.

GUTFELD: It was a cheap version of “Wizard of Oz.” A really cheap version.

PERINO: Wonder where that outhouse landed on.

Oh, my gosh. All right. Well, that was a great show, everybody. Thank you so much.

GUTFELD: Everybody, wear their shirts.

PERINO: Yes. I will wear my shirt in private.

Set your DVRs and never miss an episode of “The Five.” “Special Report” is up next.

Hey, John.

JOHN ROBERTS, FOX NEWS: We are definitely not in Kansas anymore. Thanks, Dana.

WILLIAMS: Clearly.

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