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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 months ago

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Almighty (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: I forgot to queue this i apologize -Danny Words: 2,122 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Your Needs, My Needs' -by Noah Kahan

XIII: Can't Blame a Bitch for Trying

"They won't," Lily places a firm hand on Ara's shoulder. "They're underestimating Ara's power. To get her they would need her to—"

"Wait, wait, which oracles are we looking for, exactly?" Ara interrupts feeling lightheaded. "We have to find all of them?"

"Well, one was the Sybil of Cumae. You know, she wrote the Sibylline Books—those prophecies that Ella the harpy memorized."

"A harpy..." Meg frowns. "Like those chicken ladies who clean up after lunch?"

"Ella is a very special harpy, Meg," Chiron explains. "Years ago, she somehow came across a copy of the prophetic books, which we thought were burned before the Fall of Rome. Right now, our friends at Camp Jupiter are trying to reconstruct them based on Ella's recollections."

"And the other three Oracles?" Rachels demands. "I'm sure none of them was a beautiful young priestess whom you praised for her... what was it? ...'scintillating conversation'?"

"Rachel, come on, that's what you decided to get hung up on?"

"How would you feel if there were another four children of Olympus walking the earth?"

"I'd be ecstatic," Ara retorts. "Let's hang out and make a schedule, I want Sundays."

"Ahem!" Apollo continues with a scowl. "There was an Oracle at Erythaea, and another at the Cave of Trophonius..."

"Goodness," Chiron says in a nostalgic voice. "I'd forgotten about those two."

"And the fifth," Apollo sighs, "was the Grove of Dodona."

"A grove," Meg straightens in her spot. "Like trees."

"Yes, Meg, like trees. Groves are typically composed of trees, rather than, say, Fudgsicles. Dodona was a stand of sacred oaks planted by the Mother Goddess in the first days of the world. They were ancient even when the Olympians were born."

"The Mother Goddess?" Rachel crosses her arms. "Please tell me you don't mean Gaea."

"No, thankfully. I mean Rhea, Queen of the Titans, the mother of the first generation of Olympian gods. Her sacred trees could actually speak. Sometimes they issued prophecies."

"The voices in the woods," Meg points out.

"Exactly. I believe the Grove of Dodona has regrown itself here in the woods at camp. In my dreams, I saw a crowned woman imploring me to find her Oracle. I believe it was Rhea, though I still don't understand why she was wearing a peace symbol or using the term dig it."

"A peace symbol?" Chiron frowns.

"A large brass one."

Rachel hums. "If Rhea is a Titan, isn't she evil?"

"Not all Titans were bad," Apollo argues. "Rhea was a gentle soul. She sided with the gods in their first great war. I think she wants us to succeed. She doesn't want her grove in the hands of our enemies."

"My friend, Rhea has not been seen for millennia—"

"That's not true," Ara frowns. "Zeus had her over for brunch last year, around August."

"I meant in relation to humans," Chiron specifies.

"But then how come her trees are regrowing?" Lily points out. "If no one is paying her any mind?"

"Many things from the old days have survived or regenerated," Apollo recalls. "The Labyrinth has rebuilt itself. Why couldn't a grove of sacred trees spring up again right here in this valley?"

"Because the things that tend to regrow around here are either summoned or controlled by us," Ara says. "So if Rhea didn't cause this, then the oracles went berserk the moment you vanished, and they're all gaining the strength you lost."

"But then I would be working nonstop," Rachel pouts. "And I feel no new strength coming."

"This is all weird." Meg sinks on her seat. "So if the tree voices are sacred and stuff, why are they making people get lost?"

"For once, you ask a good question." Apollo taunts her. "In the old days, the priests of Dodona would take care of the trees, pruning them, watering them, and channeling their voices by hanging wind chimes in their branches."

"How would that help?"

"I don't know. I'm not a tree priest. But with proper care, these trees could divine the future."

"And without proper care?" Rachel asks hesitantly.

"The voices were unfocused. A wild choir of disharmony."

"Insane trees," Ara runs a hand over her face. "Insane trees are taking our campers."

Apollo scowls. "Untended, the grove could most definitely drive mortals to madness, yes. Have you always been this—"

"Smart?"

"Close! I was thinking snappy and sarcastic."

"So our missing campers are wandering in the trees," Chiron intervenes once again, "perhaps already insane from the voices."

"Or they're dead," Meg suggests.

"No." Apollo says promptly. "No, they are still alive. The Beast is using them, trying to bait me."

"How can you be sure?" Rachel presses. "And why? If Python already controls Delphi, why are these other Oracles so important?"

"The more you have of a thing, it gives you an advantage over others," Ara reasons. "If these guys have been working on each war we've fought, they're tired of losing. Owning the oracles means they own the future."

Apollo stares at her pouting. "Fine, you are smart. Without a way to see and direct our fates, we will wither and die—gods and mortals alike, anyone who opposes the Triumvirate."

Meg takes off her shoes and hangs upside down from her seat just like Ara does at home. "They're strangling our taproots."

Ara holds back a smile. "You're also really smart, tiny."

"As for why the Grove of Dodona is so important," Apollo gets grumpier. "Python mentioned that it was the one Oracle he could not control. I don't understand exactly why—perhaps because Dodona is the only Oracle that has no connection with me. Its power comes from Rhea. So if the grove is working, and it is free of Python's influence, and it is here at Camp Half-Blood—"

"It could provide us with prophecies." Chiron seems excited. "It could give us a chance against our enemies."

"Of course, we'd rather have our beloved Oracle of Delphi working again. And we will, eventually. But for now, the Grove of Dodona could be our best hope." Apollo nods.

"Aren't prophecies all twisted and mysterious and murky, and people die trying to escape them?" Meg asks.

Ara shakes her head. "I had a curse, and two years ago I got a prophecy. Curse is gone now, all thanks to it."

"Besides, the Grove of Dodona is a benevolent force," Apollo adds. "It has helped heroes before. The masthead of the original Argo, for instance, was carved from a branch of the sacred trees. It could speak to the Argonauts and give them guidance."

"Would've been nice to have on ours..." Ara grumbles.

"You had a ship?" Meg asks in awe.

"I'll tell you about it later."

Chiron hums. "That's why our mysterious Beast wants the grove burned."

"Apparently," Apollo shrugs. "And that's why we have to save it."

Meg slips sideways and kicks the table, spilling their food over their feet. "Oops."

Ara crouches to pick up the stuff. "Sit up, Meg. Put on your shoes."

While the girl obeys and Ara cleans up, Chiron continues. "Apollo... If you are right about Dodona, how do we proceed? We are already shorthanded. If we send search teams into the woods, we have no guarantee they'll come back."

Meg sits up. "We'll go. Apollo, the General, and me."

By General, Ara realizes she's talking about her. "Oh. Yeah, I think that's right."

"We—we will?" Apollo stammers.

"You said you gotta do a bunch of trials or whatever to prove you're worthy, right? This'll be the first one."

Ara smiles, pleased about dragging a god to a demigod quest. "Meg is a daughter of Demeter, so the forest is probably not that dangerous to her. I'm the daughter of Olympus but I have no, er, gardening blessings. I have Dionysus's, though, so maybe that'll keep me from going insane."

"I'll go too," Lily says.

"Absolutely not," Ara frowns. "We can't leave camp without a demigod in charge, you know that."

"Nico can stay!"

Ara stares at her pointedly. "Nico's not cut out for it. You have experience with this."

"No," Lily says gravely. "There is safety in numbers, Ara."

"There is tragedy in them too," she states. "Michael understood it way better than us. Someone has to stay, to make sure things run the right course. Chiron?"

"She's right," their mentor concedes. "Ara has experience fighting unaided and camp needs you, Lily. I'd go as far as to say Ara, you, and Nico are our triumvirate, which can work if one of you is gone, but not if we're missing most of it."

"And Olympus can work without the sun god," Ara looks at Apollo. "But not without prophecies."

Rachel holds his hand imploringly. "Apollo, you have to try. If we can get a glimpse of the future... well, it may be the only way to get things back to normal... I'd like to have a future again."

Chiron sighs. "What do you need from us, Ara? You can't take Lily, but anything else..."

"You two," Ara points at Apollo and Meg. "Get some sleep, I'll wake you once I've got everything. I'll pack."

"What about you?" Meg asks.

"I'm not tired," Ara shrugs. "I haven't used any of my blessings at all, so my battery is full, don't worry about me."

Chiron rises, Ara and Lily quickly joining him. "This evening, then. Rest and prepare, my heroes. I fear you will need all your strength and wits for what comes next."

"Anything you'd like to say before I go?"

Ara questions as they walk out of the Big House carrying three medium-size backpacks. Hers used to belong to Mike, but Lily took it from the bridge and has been using it since. They switched bags so Lily is currently holding her Octopus. It's their way of blessing each other.

Lily shrugs. "Would it make a difference?"

"It would make you feel lighter opposite to, you know, waiting for the eulogy."

"Dude, can you not?" Lily scowls. "I am not happy about this arrangement."

"I know."

After a few moments of walking in silence, Lily continues. "They might try to get you using Leo."

"I'm aware."

"Don't allow that."

"I have priorities, believe it or not," Ara pushes her hair back each time it falls over her eyes. "Campers first."

Lily glances at her unconvinced. "Are you taking Pollo with you?"

"Should I?"

"It would be wise."

"Then I'm taking him."

They reach the edge of the forest, where everyone else is waiting. "Good luck, Queen B."

"You can do better than that," Ara retorts playfully.

"How about this?" Nico speaks behind them. "If you let yourself die, I'm telling Leo you called him your ex-boyfriend."

"What?" Ara exclaims. "I never said that!"

Nico smirks. "You'd need to be here to tell him that, right?"

Ara scowls. "Ass."

He places the purple cloak on her shoulders. "Break a leg."

"You see this rain?" Ara looks over her shoulder at Apollo. "That's daddy saying he's having a great time watching you suffer and I'm getting caught in it."

"Don't ever call him my daddy," Apollo grumbles in a foul mood.

"The campers were so generous to you, and you don't deserve it," Ara keeps going. "Harley made that ukulele and Paolo gave you his good-luck bandana. That is some top-tier gift-giving. All goes to the god that's responsible for the losses of last year."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Apollos presses both hands over his ears. "I know you hate me for what happened to Michael!"

Ara whirls around. "What?"

"I knew there was something about you and my cabin that I couldn't quite place," Apollo squints, walking up to her until they're face to face. "And after you mentioned Michael at Rachel's cave I remembered. He promised to make you a daughter of Olympus, and you think I killed him."

"Well, the fates and you love working together, and from what I've seen, you have no issue throwing demigods to active fires. Especially, if they're your kids."

"I didn't kill Michael! He wasn't as flashy as I would've liked, and he didn't like music much unless it was for healing, but I would never—"

"Never?" Ara steps closer. "Never?"

Apollo hesitates, knowing that's not entirely true. "H-He chose his fate."

"There is no choosing with gods," Ara glares at him. "Only illusions of free will. Meg, don't stay behind!"

The girl runs up to stand next to her and sticks her tongue out at Apollo, not following the conversation but understanding that he made Ara mad, and that's enough to be angry at him in solidarity.

"You don't get to talk about him," Ara warns Apollo quietly so Meg can't hear. "His memory, what I did and didn't do, haunted me for a whole year. Only I know what Mike and I had, only I know why I'll always be angry about his death, not you. Don't ever talk about Michael, you didn't know him."

Ara knows there's no use in snapping at Apollo, but he's an outlet, an opportunity to make a small fraction of Olympus feel at least a particle of all the guilt and frustration she's felt in her shortcomings.

Apollo stands there in anger, then thunder strikes and he jumps, running to catch up with them.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh @ebony-reine-vibes

#twoidiots writing #pjo fanfic #leo valdez fanfic #doo #leo valdez x oc #toa fanfic

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the-welsh-witch · 1 year ago

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Ok serious question, have your deities ever said anything that made you go 'bitch, I did NOT need to be called out by that. The fact that you had to say it irrelevant, how you know this shit?!'

That is my first encounter with Pluto in a nutshell. Had just done my english oracy exam and was in a state of constant anxiety of 'what do I do now?'. Pluto called my ass out hard first time he spoke to me. literally, first advice from him, 'rest, relax, you don't need to be productive all the time and the things you are worrying about can't be changed'. Like, damn.

You had a deity do that before?

Oh, an then first meeting with Loki consisted of him using my mother's words in the exact opposite way she meant them. Same words, opposite meaning. Mind blown, not gonna lie-

So, the only dieties I have really interacted with have been Rhiannon, Manawydan, Hekate, and POSSIBLY Poseidon and Demeter but only when I was little.

Now, Rhiannon has been around for years, and I honestly have no clue why, but she is very motherly. She'll tell me I'm an idiot, but will also allow me to make my own decisions, as long as I make sure to stay safe. She's very 'Fuck around and find out, but if you fuck around I'm not helping you' vibes. On the flip side, she has also helped me A LOT even before I knew of her, and makes her presence known VERY strongly.

Hekate however, is a bit more stern. She does understand that I learn through doing, however since my working with her is new, is a bit more demanding that I do things By The Book. She'll help me, but I'll dedicate a candle or research, or something to her.

Now, Manawydan is a different story. I sort of half work with him, through Rhiannon, respecting that both he and Poseidon are deities of the sea (Manawydan Fab Llyr LITERALLY means 'Manawydan, Son of The Sea', and Poseidon was gifted hold over the seas by his brother Zeus after killing The Titans), and as I have a history with the sea, I like to give back through working with him and Poseidon (I have found many items in the sea, and lived by the sea for a while, etc).

However, I believe myself and my deities have a very respectful is sassy relationship. Deities are different, and some require different things, it depends on how much you research, and how well you know them. I think the best example is that my friend works with Odin. He is both an eons-old deity with immeasurable power that I will never be able to understand, that I had to re-cleanse, ward, and black salt my house INTENSELY after he and Rhiannon got into a disagreement, however, he is ALSO a sassy bitch that likes Sour Cream Pringles.

#deity #witchblr #witchcraft #baby witch #deity work #Rhiannon #Hekate #Manawydan Fab Llyr #Poseidon #Odin #Madladmorty #let me know if this helped!

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theflagscene · 1 year ago

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I personally am looking forward to ushering in the new era of non gendered pregnancy in queer media, not only because not all pregnancy abled people are cis but also because I am an old school fandom bitch who remembers the day when ABO wasn’t a thing (thank you SPN) and mpreg was considered a ‘squick’ that only the most deviant of writers and readers took part in. Now it’s so common that popular novels are being written about it and then they are being turned into equally popular—if not more popular—live action series.

Listen, if I could grow up on stories about Zeus stalking his baby mama’s as cows and an unseen Christian god basically ghost r*ping some poor married woman, then I think it’s damn time that non gendered pregnancy makes it to tv lol!!! Let the cis dudes do some of the work for once! Even if it’s only through fantasy or weird science, I for one would love to have a second gender, but knowing my luck I’d be a boring ass Beta! 😂

EXCUSE ME?!?! Mpreg was NOT mentioned in the first summary I read?

#sunset vibes the series #mosbank #mos panuwat #isbanky #mpreg #abo

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ericleo108 · 2 years ago

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03/17/2023 Click here for Spotify or Apple Music. This is my 35th official release and honestly it comes too soon. I feel like I have enough work to justify this song but I don’t have the clout. By that I mean this track is the start of me talking about the rap game and making songs about other rappers. This is the precursor for “what now” which is an EP that drops April 14th.

“Breaking Bad” is an homage to Eminem and Dr Dre. I don’t know when Marshall will hear this. I think his fans will really like it. It’s basically a tribute to his discography. If you know Eminem’s work you’ll hear it. It gives reference to many of Marshall’s songs while giving my own perspective and the breaking bad theme. I wanted to make the song with a popular media reference that we both enjoy and goes with Em and Dre’s construct. The truth is I’ve listened to Marshall since grade school and probably know his discography better than any other artist. By consequence I “take” allot from him.

The first verse is to introduce why I’m doing this. My old artist name is Apollo. I’ve talked about it before on this blog but here is a link to the Edulution album. The hook is basically asking for a co-sign/ advance but the truth is It’s meant to be standoffish. Honestly I hope this will act as an application to be in the shady aftermath camp but I just wanted to make a track about the best duo in the game. I wanna go to shade 45 just to introduce myself, drop a nice letter and let them know it’s all love. Don’t come for me Marshall.

I’m not sexually attached to Marshall but in the song I wanted to create a type of Stan hysteria in the third verse for Marshall. It’s intentionally supposed to be fanatical so it makes Marshall think twice while being funny. “Pussy Poppin” is written and will probably come out next year along with “ scrumptious” (which is a working title). But I just wanted to point out that I sexualized my male peers before I did it to women.

The vocals were recorded at Crack Horse Recording in Lansing Michigan by TheyCallMeHeat. The track was mixed and mastered by Sam Peters at La Luna recording studio in Kalamazoo Michigan. The Beat is by tantubeats.com. The cover art was made by ArtworkGang from Fiverr. You can stream or download the track wherever music is sold. Thank you for your support. Be sure to follow because new music is released every week!

You can see me talk about this blog post and next week's release from the last Sunday Update

youtube

Lyrics:

I just want everyone to know that Marshall Mathers is my daddy They call me Apollo on the mic, and I’m so happy That Marshall wants to be Zeus cuz in greek mythology Apollo was his son, and I’ll tell you what there ain’t no stop’n me When I was a little kid I dyed my hair like Eminem did Blond top, suns hot, gunshots nonstop Listen to D12 one shot two shot Come’n from my bed room, feelin like 2Pac But I was just a white kid, scrawny and always honoree And I was one of the privileged kids, there was really nothing wrong with me But I found “Brain Damage,” and “As the World Turns” And was like “If I had a” million dollars I’d buy a fuckin purse Tuck my dick into my legs, cluck, and give birth Be like all of these chickens that can’t rewrite his verse Reimagine the page using his words Cadence and slurs like were go’n berzerk (Hey Em) If I like what you written, you might get bitten It’s despicable, like Daffy Duck when I’m spittin I’m here to keep Shady and Dre from feelin That Shady’s not here to save the children

Come on dawg, give it a chance What would it take, to make you advance Cuz I know you aren’t afraid, to take a stan Let me give you a little motivation to do what you can You can’t break bad without a chemist I am the one who knocks at the door of your business I’m a rider for the sound and hits, a writer and a scientist Like Jesse with it, cuz it’s time for science bitch

I remember get’n high in highschool listen’n to “Rain Man” For the first time, think’n we was brain dead High as a kite smoke’n listen to “Kim” Think’n “Is it gay to touch another man’s ass with your fist?” We met Brady, gotta guilty conscious Bought into the metaphors, melodies, constructs Love watch’n Em go off on the mic And hearin what beat Dr. Dre had derived Learned how to square dance (square dance with me) and get down to business How we ain’t got no time to play around, what is this Say goodbye to Hollywood, cuz my dad’s gone crazy Would you please stand up for the real slim shady I think we’re approaching an age of the gross Just another episode on the yellow brick road If you’re proud to be out of my mind and out of control One more time, you know how it goes

I wanna say this shit right now while this fuck’n weed is in me I love you dawg, now let’s go make history I could’a wrote a diss to see if you’d respond offensively Rather be a friend to me, don’t make me your enemy Cuz you know my Machiavelli He lives on in the intelligently Crafted written legibly Poetry that I’m leveraging I’m ball’n like Pluto Ya Gaia and Blue know Wit your cool flow I’ve fall’n for you, like Bruno And wanna suck Shady’s dick, like Ken Kaniff Get it back from Shaggy, while he’s take’n a shit That’s right pumpkin, you woke up to a blumpkin I wanna share the world with you and all your fuck shit (Marshall) I bet your more afraid to love another man Take him by the hand, and make him understand (I love you) I love you Marshall, it don’t gotta be like this We could run away together back where Dr. Dre lives

#eminem #dr.dre #hiphop #rap #rapper #new music #new release #friday #usa #michigan

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ukiyokki · 4 years ago

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mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

#dnf #dreamnotfound #dream not found #dreamnotfound fic #dreamnotfound fanfic #dreamnotfound fanfiction #dnf fic #dnf fanfic #dnf fanfiction #dnf fic rec #dreamnotfound fanfiction recommendations #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #i’m ok i swear #i read too much fanfiction #i should probably go to bed

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teddy06writes · 4 years ago

Text

Greek Myth AU: Eros and Psyche Part Two

Eret x afab!reader

trigger warnings: general death/death mentions, Aphrodite being a bit of a bitch, reader is pregnant for the sake of the original myth, but its not mentioned that much

premise: again, this explains the original myth, this part is the second half/the challenge thingys.

Part one

list of Greek Gods/characters for this work

Eros- Eret

Aphrodite- Puffy

Zephyrus- Philza

Zeus- Dream

Pan- Tubbo

Demeter- Ranboo

Hera- George

Hades- Wilbur (only mentioned)

Persephone- Niki

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No love can exist without trust."

The words echoed through (y/n)s head as they wandered through the still dark field. It seemed no use to them to even try to go back to the villa.

Slowly, they came to a stop next to the brook, laying down amongst the bank, one hand on their stomach as they watched the water pass, wondering what they would do.

How could they go on if Eret had left?

"Are you alright?"

(y/n) jumped at the sudden noise, sitting up and turning to see a saytr- no not just any Satyr, they found themself face to face with Tubbo, god of the wild.

"Uhhh...."

He let his head half fall sideways to look at them closer, "You don't look alright. Have you been crying?"

They sniffed, nodding, "I suppose so, yes. I've just had... a rough day."

He nodded, "Does this have anything to do with what I heard Eret shouting earlier, cause that sounded pretty bad."

"It- was actually."

Tubbo winced, "Yikes. You know, though from what I heard, from what I can see now, you really do look like someone who is very much in love. Don't leave yourself to rot here, you must continue on, and win his affections back."

"But how can I? I've lost all of his trust." They sighed.

"You must try, you must." Tubbo insisted, he offered them a hand and helped them to stand, "There is a way, and you will be able to find it. That I am sure of."

So, (y/n) traveled on, through the lands until they at last reached their home nation. Soon, they sought out their sisters, telling them that their deception had caused them to be cast out, not by a beast, but by the god Eret, himself.

When their sisters claimed excuses, and hurried off (perhaps to try and be taken by the god), (y/n) could only sigh and move on.

As they continued the travel, searching for any signs of their husband, he was stuck in Puffy's castle, the splash of oil having done much more damage than she'd originally thought.

All too soon, Puffy had found out where Eret was, and what had happened. Furiously, she rushed into their chambers, utterly pissed that she had gone so far against her instructions as to fall in love with (y/n).

The goddess was in such a rage, that she hardly noticed the state he was in, instead yelling on about how 'that wretched mortal would need to be punished'.

"No!" Eret cried through gritted teeth, "They may have betrayed me, but this is not their fault!"

"She shall be punished!"

It was only the announcement that Ranboo and George had arrived that pulled Puffy out of her yelling.

"Puffy, what's happened?" George asked once she had returned to the main room.

"Do remember that mortal? The one everyone was infatuated with?" Puffy asked, annoyed.

Ranboo nodded, "I thought you had sent Eret to get rid of them."

"The foolish boy went against me, brought her to some place, kept her safe, and now he's been burned because of it." She sighed, "The mortal will have to be dealt with. No simply plots of a forced love. I shall send them straight down to Wilbur's domain."

George bit his lip, "Well, are you sure that he didn't hide them away for good reason?"

"He fell in love with them." Puffy scoffed.

"Oh come on Puffy, don't punish them just because she fell in love. Doesn't he deserve ore than that? They must have fallen in love for a reason? You are the goddess of love, surely you should understand." Ranboo attempted to defend Eret, only to be cut off.

"I do not care what I should or should not understand! I want this mortal punished, and punished they shall be!" Puffy roared.

Meanwhile, (y/n) still wandered the land, looking for their lover, even as their health seemed to decline.

It had been a rather nice day when they stumbled upon the abandoned temple, covered in debris, and tools left behind. Some how, despite everything, it only made sense to clean the temple. To restore, to the best of their ability, to its former glory, or at least till it didn't look a mess.

It was slow work, but soon they had cleared the weeds, moved the old offerings back to their place, and found a place for the abandoned tools.

"You, poor (y/n)!"

They looked up to find Ranboo, towering over them, "M'lord?"

"I have come with a warning. Since your betrayal of Eret, Puffy has been after you, and you have been in great danger. Still despite this, you've come to clear the temple that my followers have abandoned. Why is this?"

"No place should be abandoned as I have been." (y/n) answered softly.

He frowned, sighing, "Well, I value my alliances with Puffy to much to harbor you. But, I will not turn you in, nor alert her in anyway you were every here. Consider yourself blessed."

As he disappeared, (y/n) couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief. They hadn't been met with Puffy's wrath yet. But that did not stop their sorrow.

Wandering farther and farther away from both the valley, and their home, (y/n) came across another temple, taking a rest from the road to step inside.

At the alter, they prayed, "George, queen of Olympus, I beg of you to help me. I am but a mortal, plagued by sorrow, driven out of every place Aphrodite seeks me. I do not wish for my child to be born to this life. Oh, dear George I beg for your help!"

George, hearing these prayers, quietly appeared to them, "Poor dear. I cannot help you, no matter how much I wish too. Puffy's anger stretches far, and even I cannot shield you from it."

When he had disappeared, (y/n) was forced back out the wandering, wondering, if maybe they revealed themself to the goddess, they might receive some mercy.

After a long pondering they set out, and after journey, the found themself at the palace of Puffy. Upon turning themself into the servants, (y/n) found themself dragged before Puffy, who demanded to know what they were doing.

"So you have finally decided to pay me a visit? Or is this just a trick to see your husband, who sufferers from a wound given by your hand!"

It had been a long afternoon for (y/n), until at last the servants, and even Puffy herself, let off, and gave time for the bruises to fully form, as Puffy taunted them, "Such a plain and boring mortal, how could he have fallen for you? And even given you a child? What a pathetic thing it will be."

It didn't take much longer after that for Puffy to decide, "A challenge then, you look to be a maid, lets see how well of one you are. Then you might gain enough favor to see your husband." She called for bags of wheat, barley, beans, lentils and chickpeas to be spread and mixed on the floor, "Have all of this sorted, before the night, and you may win some favor."

And as she disappeared, (y/n) wept, it would be impossible for them to sort the pile, let alone by the time she returned. It had seemed so hopeless, until, droves of Ants, driven by pity made there way into the room.

"Fear not, we shall help you with this task."

Soon the grain was sorted, and the ants disappeared as Puffy returned, looking around incredulously, "This work mustn't be yours! Surely it isn't! You foul thing! This work is far from over!"

The next day, a new challenge was assigned.

"There is a field, a few miles from here, where golden sheep graze all day. Travel there and bring me back a tuft of wool from one by the time the sun sets, or give up on all hope of seeing your husband again." Puffy commanded.

Obediently, (y/n) set out, and as they crossed the river, a soft nymph whispered the secrets to gathering the wool from the dangeours animals.

Carefully, (y/n) waited until noon had passed, until the sheep had settled to one ide of the field, and crept out, gathering the soft tufts from the briars of the bushes.

Yet again, Puffy was surprised by their ability to comply and finish these challenges.

"Surely your husband had some hand in helping you finish this. Quickly mortal, while there is still light, take this, and fetch me the water from the upper most point of that mountain stream."

(y/n) took the pitcher, and slowly began to hike toward the mountain, dreading the dangerous climb ahead. The mountains slowly grew nearer, until (y/n) was forced to fully climb up and over rocks, and the potential fall could prove fatal.

They had paused for a rest, breathing heavy and staring up at the setting sun, there was no way they could make the trip to the top of the mountain and back before night fell.

Yet again, it all seemed helpless, until a kind eagle, indebted to Eret, swooped down, "Give me your jug child, and allow me to help."

When they returned to Puffy's castle, again they were met with surprise. No one had expected their return.

"You have done what I asked, and that makes me suspect you to be a witch. It will take a greater test to determine if you should see your husband again."

(y/n), barley held in a sigh, bowing their head.

"You will journey to the underworld, and meet Niki. She makes a beauty cream, I need you to get some for me. I've exhausted my supply."

(Y/n) began to shake, tears beginning to spill from their eyes, surely this task was impossible. No one could journey to the Underworld and make it back alive.

"Better get going." She scoffed, "And remember, not a single drop

They had no choice but to go.

It was a slow, painful journey, and it took much help, much advice to reach the underworld.

They called upon Niki, who greeted them kindly, and listened to their plight.

"I just wish to see my husband again, so I can explain myself, so I can apologize." (y/n) finished with a sigh.

Niki frowned, "That I cannot help with. But I can supply you with the beauty cream, to bring back to Puffy."

A box was filled and closed out of their view, before Niki presented it to them, with a warning, "The contents of this box, are not meant for mere mortals. It is highly dangerous for you to even look at it. You mustn't open this box, not for anything."

"I understand." They said, taking the box.

The journey back to the overworld seemed to pass quickly, but soon (y/n)s thoughts began to betray her.

Why would they carry this beauty cream if they were not able to take a drop for themself?

How were they suppose to confront their husband if they looked as ragged and hungry as they did now?

Slowly, the temptation took over, surely they would need this beauty cream more than the goddess of beauty.

As soon as the box was opened, they fell to the ground, nearly dead.

While they slept off their injuries, a great fight took place between the gods.

When they had at last awoken, they were greeted with the sight of their lovers face.

"Eret!" They gasped, "I'm sorry! I truly am! I don't know what I was thinking! Please forgive me! I love you!"

She smiled softly, "There is much we have to talk about my sweet."

It had been decided, that (y/n) would join the gods on Olympus, and remarry the god Eret.

Puffy would hurt them no more, and Eret, having heard what lengths they had gone too to get back to them, he couldn't keep them away.

#mcyt x reader #eret x reader #the eret x reader #teddy 06 #teddy 06 writes

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 3: Storkules in Duckburg! aka THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES TERRIBLE BUT WELL MEANING ROOMATE OUT OF MYTH

Hello all you happy people! And welcome and welcome back to Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my look at the season 2 arcs of Ducktales! This arc was paid for by WeirdKev27 and I truly enjoy his support. if you want to know how to commission your own reviews or to get a guarnateed review of me of your choice from me a month, stick around to the end. I realized that shoving all my plugs in up top may be driving people away and while I DO make them because I want to make a living off this, i’ts not fair to those of you who simply can’t afford to buy a lot of extra shit like myself to keep shoving it in your face.

Previously on the Louie Inc Arc, Louie, after believing he had no skills and it was a matter of when not if he ws going to die, found his talent: seeing all the angles and thus being Sharper than the Sharpies. With newfound confidence and a chip on his shoulder from Scrooge saying he could one day be a bigger success than Scrooge himself, founding Louie Inc as a result. But what is Louie Inc? Does he actually have a plan or a bunch of buzzwords. And what does STORKULES, MANLY GAY OUT OF MYTH have to do with any of this? Join me under the cut to find out.

We open with Louie giving Scrooge his sales pitch that is essentially...

Naturally Scrooge buys none of it. I mean he’s somewhere in his hundreds, he’s probably seen about 80 thousand pitches that amount to “I have no plan but give me money anyway”. There’s a reason there’s a Butch Hartman shaped crater on the lawn from where he threw his ass out.

Scrooge does mentor the lad, or at least attempt to pointing out he needs an actual product or service (Louie rejects the idea of a lemonade stand as too easy), or as he puts it “Find a problem and create a solution”.

While the basic PRINCIPAL isn’t bad, find something people want or need and provide it, phrasing it that way sounds like “find a problem people are having and exploit the shit out of that problem for fun and profit.” Granted that IS a guiding principal of business, it’s just not something an uncle should be teaching his kids. They should be teaching them about the anime and cartoons they grew up with as I do with my niece and nibling.

He does show him a valid example of this in action in the form of Donald. Turns out Donald has found a good way to make money while he looks for a job, can relate: since Duckburg is facing a housing shortage, likely because several square blocks probably get destroyed by Scrooge’s Adventures, Glomgold’s Schemes, Superhero Battles, whatever creation went horribly wrong for Gyro, etc at least once a week. So he’s taken it upon himself to offer up the spare room to whoever can rent it.. and to steal Scrooge’s chandelier which even when caught he still takes anyway. Scrooge.. you called the guy a god-damn moocher in the season premiere, despite the fact he lives there soley because YOU offered and because he’s you know, being responsible and staying by his boys so they have their father figure around. So yeah I feel he’s doing this partly out of spite as is the McDuck way. I mean if your going to call him a freeloader just for being a responsible parent, then he’s going to take it up a damn notch.

Scrooge proceeds to laugh off Louie wanting a million dollars and gives him a dime instead because of course he was. Seriously Louie there are two other billionaires in town who are FAR dumber and far more easily swindled. Just go get star up capital from them. Hell with Glomgold all you’d have to do is tell him it’d upset scrooge and he’d literally throw money at you. Or give you a shark full of money. He needs the shark back though. He’s family.

Meanwhile Donald prepares for his new tenant and finds.. THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES! Who to his mounting horror as he realizes it, IS the new tenant. And who throws him into the sun. Cue credits.

So after Donald somehow survives being thrown into the sun, Storkules explains why he’s here: Zeus responded to his son playing the lute a lot like any rational reasonable

No of course he responded to the “crime” of “playing his instrument a lot” with sending a swarm of harpies on the town then blaming Storkules for it and casting him out. What’s most shocking is not the action, this is honestly him staying the course of being a fucking disgrace, but that Zeus somehow ISN’T the biggest asshole i’ve dealt with this week. No that honor is reserved as always for this bitch:

Keep in mind she manages to be this obnoxious in only TWO scenes. Also keep in mind I had to put up with Julie for a MUCH larger chunk of the previous two volumes I covered before volume 5 yesterday for my Scott Pilgrim Retrospective and she is ALWAYS like this and you now feel my pain.

This does create a problem though: Zeus casts Storkules out until he’s a responsible adult.. and thus paints Storkules as the bad guy... in a situation where the only other person in the story sent a swarm of HARPIES down at him for simply playing his music too loud. It just dosen’t work as a catalyst: Storkules objectively did nothing wrong. The only person he annoyed was a person who clearly dosen’t love, respect or like his son in any way shape or form anyway and essentially assaulted him and a bunch of innocent people via harpie and then cast him out. Zeus is an abusive asshole and i’ts weird the narrative sides with HIM and not our well meaning doofus. Zeus being an asshole with harpies is not a bad catalyst for the episode, and the harpies being unleashed is used well.. it’s just not a good catalyst for THIS story to try and portray an abuser as in the right. And make no mistake Zeus is a domestic abuser: he had his son mind controlled to try and MURDER innocent people, something Storkules begged him not to do, sent a swarm of creatures after him for the crime of playing his music too loud and in his next episode manipulatives Storkules sad emotional state for personal gain. Why would you try and paint THIS jackass as in the right?

Speaking of painting this jackass in the right sadly.. this episode does not do my boy donald justice. In most episodes he’s pretty nuanced and i’ts fair enough he’d be frustrated by Storkules as a roomate. Storkules has little sense of personal space, breaks his stove thinking theirs hydra in it, makes a mess of the kitchen making them a meal, and in general clearly dosen’t know how to live with a roomate much less in modern society. He has valid concerns and the episode COULD have used it that way.. but he’s also horribly impatient with Storkules. He refuses to get the guy just hasn’t had to live in a modern society and dosen’t know HOW to function in it and instead of helping him just gets mad again and again and gets really pissed when it’s clear Storkules dosen’t have a job and didn’t consider paying rent. He’s not WRONG to want him to pay Rent, despite what ironically the musical Rent would try and have you believe, but he dosen’t have any patience with the guy. And stork isn’t nearly coming on as strong as he normally does. The worst he does is cook the guy lunch and bring his donald fan art with him. Which we don’t see but I am assuming is mostly naked. What i’m saying is for once that while still bombastic, Storkules isn’t trying to force a relationship/friendship on him and simply wants to learn t be an adult from his best friend.. and Donald isn’t bothering teaching him.

Asking for rent or for him not to destroy the stove is fine, but not explaining WHY he needs either of those things or why he needs boundaries, he makes a roomate list, isn’t helping the guy. And this would be fine... but the episode dosen’t call Donald out on it for no real reason. It feels like it’s setting up for a “you should learn to wokrk with someone instead of just screaming at them aseop” that never comes and like with Zeus takes his side because shutup. I’d also LIKE to say this is the only time the writers reduced one of the cast to a caracture of themselves.. but I can’t. Several episodes in season 3 forgot Louie’s character development and another episode in season 2, The Duck Knight Returns!, somehow reduced both Scrooge and Dewey to parodies of themselves with Scrooge SOMEHOW, despite Della as stubborn as she is being in his care and by his side for decades and Movies bein ga huge business, not having seen a movie since the 1920′s and not knowing how they work and Dewey being reduced to just hyperactive moron. It isn’t as common as other shows like say Regular Show, The Loud House or, for the exact reason I lost intrest, Rick and Morty, but I still expect better, especially since they went into this season KNOWING Donald would be gone for half of it and this would likely be one of his only spotlight episodes.

Back at the good part of the plot, Louie is having a company meeting aka already treating Huey and Webby like his employees. Webby of course is glad to sign on, if little help in actually coming up with a product while Huey just wants to nope out. And if your wondering why Dewey isn’t involved Louie outright says he’d make a bad employee and while Dewey rises from his bed to object.. he stops halfway to opening his mouth and concludes he has a point. Best gag of the episode. Louie being louie easily cons Huey into staying by making Webby his charts officer.

So the three have a corporate retreat at Funso’s... granted they don’t have a product but Louie figures this might help. Huey.. still wants out of this and suggest since they already spent what they had on ski ball “Company over?”. It’s clear that Huey just sees this as another one of Louie’s short sighted schemes... and while he’s not ENITRELY wrong, Louie has genuine ambition.. he just has no earthly idea what he’s doing and is shooting way too high.. but for understandable reasons. 1) He’s 11 at this point. 11 year olds aren’t great at business strategy or reinging it in. 2) he wants to live up to what Scrooge said to prove he can be successful and really be worth something like his mom was.

But sometimes fate throws you one and the harpies bust in. And while Louie wants to do nothing and hope they go away Huey and Webby spring into action.. as does Storkules, who had to leave but warns donald there’s Orzo in the slowcooker and to not open it “LEST THE PASTA FAIL TO ABSORB THE BROTH!” Which is just.... Chris’ best line dleivery the episode. He says it like he’s saying the title of an old Stan Lee and Jack Kirby comic, i’ts wonderful.

So our heroes defeat them and Louie steps in to charge for the service and quickly comes up with a company idea and name “Harp-B-Gone” (A Subsidary of Louie Inc). Louie hires Storkules on the spot. Storkules proudly tells Donald he has a job the next day and goes off to it. What follows is our heroes hilarously shooting a commerical with Storkules playing a baby to promote themselves so they can help who needs it. They just need to find out what they want.. and thanks to the JWG and the harpies stealing it find out they go after people’s most treasured posessions Cue Ghostbusters-Style Montage

And this isn’t just me saying thing. The Rewriting History Entry (Which as a series weirdly stops around mid-season 2 and I don’t get why frank hasn’t gone back and finished it since) states they specifically based this whole operation on ghostbusters and the entire sequence of our heroes cleanin up the town reminds me of it. The highlight of it is a glomgold cameo where he’s kidnapped.. and refuses to pay so Louie just lets him go. And were this an innocent person who couldn’t afford it, i’d call him a monster.. but it’s glomgold. he brought this on himself.. and also sues himself for it. Wonder if he won.

So with their stars rising, our heroes get booked on the hottest show in town: Dewey Dew-Night! I had honestly forgotten there was a Dewey Dew-Night segment in there, and delighted I get to talk about this recurring bit. It’s one of the shows funniest runners and just perfectly FITS Dewey: of course the most egotistical and energetic of the kids would not only want to be a late hnight host but make up his own show. I also love the slow evolution of it: it started as something everyone clearly knew about but he stlill tried to keep hidden, slowly escalated to him allowing the rest of his siblings (Webby very much included) and the giant man who stalks his uncle in, and by later this season he’s putting the show online in the web shorts and gladly shooting it into space, with Season 3 having him spend the first half of let’s get dangerous making a documentary that includes an episode of the show featuring Darkwing. It’s a small thing sure, but it’s the little things like this that make the show special.

The show does reveal a problem though as it turns out they’ve GOT all the harpies and while Storkules merely wanted to help, Louie points out they need more to keep a buisness going and naturally never bothered to ask Storkules just how many there were. They need SOME plan to get going. Webby submits a legitamte and great idea, training the harpies as she’s been trying to do in the background of the episode and aside from a hole in the floor they are starting to listen. But Huey is an ass about it and not only shoots it down saying let’s keep the dangerous creatures contained, even though A) he has no idea WHERE they’ve been kept so he can’t verify it’s safe, and since i’ts Donald’s Closet no no it’s not. and B)There’s no where he knows of to keep them. He isn’t aware of the other bin till next season. and C) it’s not ehtical to keep creatures locked up forever epsecially since while the harpies are dangerous they arent’ MALEVOLENT and are clearly acting on instinct. oh and for D) at least she has a plan to keep the company going instead of just wanting to end this and cash out.

Which Huey tries to.. but naturally Louie spent all their money on...

So their broke.. and Storkules has no rent money and feels like a failure despite having done NOTHING wrong. We do get a clever little nod to Disney’s hercules though “I”m not a hero, i’m a zero”. Webby rightfully glares at Louie who decides to fix it... by sneaking into Donald’s house that night to free the harpies.

Though to the shows credit it’s a VERY bad idea, and Storkules coming in mid attempt and congradulating Louie when he lies about checking the door gets the kid to come clean. And it’s a nice character moment: He could still go through with it.. but it’s clear he realizes just HOW low he was about to sink to save his own skin and that as much as Storkules WANTS a paycheck and deserves one, it’s not worth hurting people to get it. Louie tries to justify after this.. but can’t.

Unforutnately Donald took a lot of stupid pills this episode, yells about his no pets rule and frees them instead of you know, THINKING for five minutes.

So yeah NATURALLY Donald is an angry shit about it , refusing to actually TALK to Storkules about this or maybe admit this is partly HIS OWN FAULT. Yes their both at fault, Storkules shoudln’t of shoved a bunch of harpies in a closet. That’s a classic blunder. But Donald still opened it and isn’t called out on taking zero responsibility. Huey sees the fracas and just takes down their days without an accident placard, good stuff and he and webby arrive to help. Donald fights with Storkules and Storkules worries about loosing his friend.. lead to them going after the thing he values most aka donlad and hyjacking the house boat, though the kids manage to get aboard.

As Storkules saves Donald, Louie realizes the most precious thing he has is his merch and willingly gives it, and his buisness up to save everyone. It’s good character stuff and shows that despite his problems with greed, Louie IS a good kid and will do the right thing. It’s what seperates him from the Rouges Gallery the family faces: He has FLEXIBLE morals but he has morals when it comes down to it. So everyone tosses the stoff to help direct the hapries and make it home tying them up. Donald has a heart to heart with Storkules and agrees to help him find another place, but still considers him a friend and they hug. Awww. One intresting thing I DID find out from rewriting history is they originally fully intended to have Storkules STAY on the houseboat. He was going to be a permenant member of the household, at least as far as Season 2 was concenred and plans were made for several episodes down the road: the whole bit with him in “The Golden Spear” was simply because he lived there, he was going to be the one Della met in the houseboat, obliviously guilting her about what she’d missed, and he was going to set off the kids subplot in “Whatever Happened to Donald Duck?”

This ended up not happneing for logistical reasons: Frank, and I swear this was the term he used, felt they already had the perfect Himbo in Launchpad and it was just too much HImbo energy for the two to coexist without one taking the others screen time or neither getting a lot.

The next reason was having a god around simply broke the story: He cited the gilded man from “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!” as a specific example. There were just too many hoops to jump to have him not break any story he should be around for. Finally with Della being added to the cast soon there simply wasn’t room in the main cast. Della brought it up to 9, Storkules would make it 10, and as i’ve gone on about the show already had trouble ballancing it’s cast, something Frank admitted to. Adding him would both be too big a stiatus quo change and be one on top of the massive one of Della joining the cast. So he was dropped back to recurring and only showed up one more time. And while it was the right call I am dismayed he didn’t show up for the whatever happened to donald duck subplot and it does feel very weird he never adresses Donald being gone despite, at least for season 2, apparently living in Duckburg. Otherwise though as funny as this wouldv’e been.. yeah it was the right call.

Scrooge returns... having been absent all episode because otherwise it wouldn’t work and easily saw Louie loosing it all coming.. but gives him a can of lemonade for his troubles and comforts the boy. The heart of htis arc and what makes it work at it’s best.. is these two. Scrooge GENUINELY wants to help Louie see his potetial successor in buisness: oh sure adventure wise he’s throughly covered.. but Webby, Dewey and Della all are more focused on the addventure part and that’s where their passion and talent lies, Huey’s better at science and given his close frinedship with fenton and how much that part of things seems to truly inspire him, i’ts what he was born for, and Donald just wants a regualar life and can’t manage his own life much less a company.

Louie is the only one in his family whose the right fit to inhereit that part of his legacy and I feel that’s why he takes a special intrest in him and webby over the other two: While he loves all of them and will clearly again leave a piece of his fortune and empire to all of them, Webby is the most like him, as we later find out not coincidentally in the slightest, when it comes to adventuring and curosity and a love of exploration. But Louie is the most like him in other ways; He’s cynical, money driven and passionate. Scrooge simply wants him to be as good a person and buisnessperson as he can be and is trying to push him in the right direction. And does so here by pointing out that failure isn’t a huge problem..it happens, comes with the terriotiry and as we’ve seen with life and times, even with portions of it clearly not happening in this universe, he failed a LOT to get here. What matters is that he tries and tries to do it the right way.

Scrooge also sympathizes as he was buying a lemonade company in cape suzette, giving Louie the can as a present... but laments there’s no cheap effective way to deliver the lemons. Louie notices the harpies going after the can after he throws it and Webby controlling them with it and muses that theyd idn’t think about what THEY wanted.. nad rightfully gets punched across the lawn by Webby, whose had to spend an entire episode having her surrogate brothers talk down to her and ignore her valid ideas. She dosen’t even open her eyes she just bops him one.

So we end with Scrooge having enlisted the hapries, Louie trying to take credit again and both realizing they might just steal the lemons instead of work for them. Ha ha ha their going to get so sued.

Final Thoughts: This one was mediocre. It has some good points, Louies arc continues to fascenate me, Huey’s done with this shit attitude is hilarous, and Storkules is at his best in this episode: his crush on Donald is toned down from this..

To this

To the point I could see shipping them off this one if Storkules episode didn’t have him do eveyrthing short of .. well see above. So it’s not WITHOUT merit: I love me a ghost busters style plot, there are great jokes and Chris Dimatopolis is a gem as always. Glad he’s getting work after this show on Invincible and hope he gets to play Darkwing again some day. But the Donald stuff and the fairly predictable plot drag this one down. I’ts fairly obvious they’ll run out of harpies, Louie will have spent the money and they’ll somehow get free. It’s not a terrible episode but it’s it’s sandwiched story wise between two straight up classics on both sides: the previous two episodes were even better than I remembered and the next two are incredibly good: Whateve Happened to Della Duck?! is one of their finest hours and The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck, while not making my best of list for the series as a whole is still one of my favorites for the season. It’s just disapointing this one wasn’t nearly as good as I remmebered and it’s understandable why I forgot almost all of it, unlike the previous two episodes. Thankfully as I said better’s over the horizon.

NEXT TIME ON OF MOONS, MILLIONARES AND MOTHERS: I’m taking a break for a week. One of two weeklong breaks for the arc, the other being the first week of July where i’m on vacation anyway (Though i’ll be doing the episode I would’ve done for that week the week before to keep the pace up, so no worries),

As for why, it’s my utmost honor to announce GOOF WEEK! Goof Week is a weeklong celebration of Goofy’s birthday. The idea came about because as I do for the big three, I intended to just do a shorts special. But Kev , the guy who made this very review possible, suggested doing the two part Goof Troop pilot. And since kev pays for a house of mouth episode a month anyway and thaks to you lovely people I hit my patreon stretch goal to review the goofy movie, I figured “why not make a week out of it. Hence Goof week. So next week we’ll have a review of the two part pilot for Goof Troop, the special Sports Goof, the House of Mouse episode Super Goof, your regularly schedule shorts spectacular, with The Goofy Movie for the grand finale! yaaahoooooieeee!

When we come back i’ll be shuffling episodes around slightly so I can do the Della comics from the Ducktales Tie-In Comic before her debut and in time for Donald’s own theme week in June, i’ll be saving “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?” for the week after Donald Week. Instead next we get a fun wild west adventure as Scrooge tells a story of his outlaw days, his tension with goldie and his encounter with a certain robber baron as John D Rockerduck FINALLY makes his screen debut. Yee-Haw!

If you liked this review, subscribe and follow for more and consider joining my patroen, patreon.com/popculturebuffet. I have exclusive reviews, my most recent duck based one being an obscure carl barks story about wigs and the boys attempting to murder a guy with a blow gun, and your contribution helps me reach my goals and thus gets everyone, patreon or not, a bunch of neat new reviews. If you get me to 20 dollars a month, i’m currently at 15, EVERYONE will get a monthly darkwing duck reviews, reviews of the two remaning ducktales 87 mini series including the origin of GIZMOOOODDUUUUUCCCKKKK, and a review of the Danny Phantom movie The Ultimate Enemy. And with the month running out NOW’S the time to join. YOu’ll also get to pick one of the shorts for my Donald Duck birthday specail next month, so if you want to join in NOWS the time. But wether you can or you can’t, thank you for reading, i’ts been a pleasure.

#ducktales #louie duck #storkules in duckburg #dorkules #donald duck #storkules #scrooge mcduck #webby vanderquack #huey duck #flintheart glomgold #dewey duck #funzos #disney #disney+#disney plus #disney xd #harpies

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lavellander · 4 years ago

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so back when i had approx zero followers on this blog i made a post comparing solas and atlas (as in the titan) and i wanna bring it up again

BUT also the original layout of the post was ugly and all my extra thoughts are v long so its going in a readmore!! abandon hope all ye who enter here<3

i wanna preface this by saying IF ANYONE WITH A CLASSICS DEGREE WANTS TO STEP IN AND HELP OR CORRECT ME lmao please do!! my degrees are in english not ancient shit!! also i figured someone had already broken down this connection but i couldnt find a post abt it?? google didnt give me anything but if someone's already done this pls link me to it!!

anyway the obvious connection my little gremlin brain made was because atlas was charged with holding up the sky – not the world! common misconception – and solas's stronghold is literally called skyhold because it's where he held up the sky

(quick thank you to what the water gave me by florence + the machine for planting this little seed of brain rot within me)

and so i was like. im gonna look more up about atlas, maybe theres a specific myth or epic poem or smth that gives me more info idk. and since i wasnt about to buy any new books my results are limited but i found some shit that Fucked Me Up Real Good

GODS, REBELLION, + PUNISHMENT

(here are some of the sources btw these screenshots are months old so idr which goes to what im so sorry)

[ID: A screenshot reading "Atlas and his brother Menoetius sided with the Titans against the Olympians and when the Titans were eventually defeated many of them were confined to Tartarus (a deep abyss used as a dungeon) including Atlas's brother. However, Atlas had a different fate, and Zeus condemned Atlas to stand at the Western edge of Gaia (the Earth) and hold the heavens on his shoulders to prevent the two from resuming their" – the screenshot cuts off here.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "He (Atlas) was the leader of the Titan rebellion against Zeus, and he got a fitting punishment after" – the screenshot cuts off here.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "Atlas and his brother Menoetius sided with the Titans. In time, Atlas even managed to become the leader of the rebellion, but that didn't end up too well for him in the long run, since it got him the most severe punishment after the defeat of the Titans."]

SO. atlas led a rebellion against a pantheon of gods!! HOW INTERESTING :^) wonder who that sounds like. haha!!

[ID: A screenshot reading "The Archivist in the Sundered Hall of the Shattered Library stores the following memory: 'After he held back the sky to imprison the gods, the Dread Wolf disappeared.' Thus Skyhold is the place where the" – the screenshot cuts off here.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "Known as Tarasyl'an Te'las ('the place where the sky is kept' or, more specifically, 'the place where the sky was held back') in ancient elvish, Skyhold is a fortress located in a stretch of the Frostback Mountains near the Dales," – the screenshot cuts off here.]

there are obvious differences here, mainly being that atlas & co lost their fight against the olympians and holding up the sky was atlas's punishment, whereas solas technically won by "holding up" the sky aka creating the veil

this might be my own personal perception of solas and his whole thing but i do feel like the concept of punishment (in various forms) can be seen threading through his character and story. i'm still trying to work this part out in a way that doesn't make it seem like i'm conflating punishment, consequence, and burdensome responsibility lol so putting a pin in it for now!

i'm also interested in any similarities bw tartarus and where the evanuris are kept !!!! they are both called the abyss and are home to fucked up demons and shit!!! but i'll need to do more reading for that

PRIDE / HUBRIS

also, as most bitches who fell victim to this wily bastard, i'm obsessed with the name solas meaning pride?? especially since we know solas is a name he chose for himself at one point?? (i cant find the source rn but if someone has it i would love to include it here!)

i know he says "solas came first," but i'm taking that to mean he as a person came before his role/identity as the dread wolf, not that literally the name solas itself came first. i would LOVE to know when exactly he started calling himself solas, and more importantly the precise reason he decided on that name. like not to be raised catholic on main but one doesn't name themselves after a fucking cardinal sin just because it sounds cool !!!! the man has fucking BAGGAGE

side note – i'm aware that in elvish solas can also mean "to stand tall," but given that...

every single other use of the word or root 'solas' has been translated to mean 'pride'

solas describes himself as prideful on more than one occasion

the fact that his personal quest centers around a fucking pride demon, and

for reasons i'm about to go into

....i think we can assume it's the negative connotation, not the 'standing tall' one.

so, given that i'm already hell deep in greek myth because of the atlas stuff, i'm like yeah let's see what those guys had to say about pride

[ID: A screenshot reading "HYBRIS was the goddess of personified spirit (daimona) of insolence, hubris, violence, reckless pride, arrogance, and outrageous behavior in general. Her Roman name" – the screenshot cuts off.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "In ancient Greek, hubris referred to 'outrage': actions that violated natural order, or which" – the screenshot cuts off.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "like Hesiod and Aeschylus used the word 'hubris' to describe transgressions against the gods."]

LMAO UM? i can't stop thinking about "actions that violated the natural order" and "transgressions against the gods" !!! because solas's WHOLE DEAL is that he did both of those things !!!!!

and while i don't think his core reasons for challenging the evanuris were based in pride, i do think there is also a subtle nuance between pride and hubris? (once again i am not a classical scholar so that may just be me and my misconceptions!)

at any rate, solas DOES see the world he created as a violation of the natural order; the veil itself is a violation of the natural order, which is why he's hellbent on tearing it down. his "transgressions" against the gods – which here i mean to be an 'offense' or 'disobedience,' rather than breaking the law or whatever – are what led to the act that literally altered the fabric of reality. hubris (in its definitions listed here, not just to mean pridefulness) all the way through, start to finish !!

of course much has already been said about solas's association with pride demons. to name a few, the fact that your first boss battle in inquisition is a pride demon, that his friend in his personal quest is corrupted into a pride demon, and this fucking banter between solas and vivienne:

SOLAS: Tell me, Enchanter. Do you even bother to explore the Fade in your dreams? VIVIENNE: I prefer to explore the world I actually live in. SOLAS: Pity. You could be much more powerful if you ventured outside your narrow preconceptions. VIVIENNE: Ah, the temptation to leave the path. You sound like a pride demon. SOLAS: Enchanter, any pride demon you met would just walk away, shaking its head and laughing uncontrollably. VIVIENNE: Oh darling, more than one already has.

also this post by felassan has good points that make me want to yell a lot:

[ID: A screenshot reading "'Solas' means 'pride' in elvish. Solas is wise and friends with spirits of Wisdom. Corrupted spirits of Wisdom are Pride demons. Pride demons have multiple eyes. The black wolf Solas is depicted with on his Tower card has multiple eyes. I don't think these things are coincidences"]

HOWEVER this post is not abt pride demons it is about ATLAS so im going to stop there. the point of bringing up hubris at all was the whole 'violation of natural order' and especially 'transgressions against the gods' so im getting real sidetracked here. moving on

MOUNTAINS + SKYHOLD

this one is more of like a fun little addition rather than anything super in depth BUT in my original googlings i found several sources that mentioned that some myths/interpretations see atlas as a mountain or a mountain range because he was turned to stone after seeing a gorgon head??

mountains!!! as the place/thing that holds back the sky!!!! this is fine!!

but also to quote my original tags:

#thinking of mountains as holding up the heavens is obv not revolutionary lmfao #and certainly not restricted to greek myth or This Fucking Video Game #but! #(shane madej voice) ive connected the dots #let me have this<3

IDK WHAT TO DO W THIS LOL

as with most of my long bullshit posts: i have no idea what to do with this information :~)

like what is The Point™ of having such similar stories!! a god leads a rebellion against a pantheon of other gods and, at the end of it, has to hold up/back the sky???? that can describe either one of them!! even where they differ, i still see similarities – the titans lose and are sentenced away to tartarus, which is described as AN ABYSS!! compared to the evanuris losing and being locked away.......in the abyss................hello. here lies the abyss, the well of all souls, from these emerald waters doth life begin anew??? bye.

anyway the reason i wanted to revive this idea is to see what other ppl had to say about it!! either adding new info or correcting anything i have here or just theorizing!!! would love to hear yalls thots<3

#dragon age #solas #fen'harel #dragon age meta #dragon age theory #(i have......no idea if this counts as meta lmao but. whatever)#also i feel like this is fairly evident and the game has been out for 7 whole years but i will tag it anyway #spoilers #lmao

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specsforwoo · 4 years ago

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Son of Bia | Demigod!Nakamoto Yuta

Parent Deity: Bia (Goddess of Power, Anger, and Raw Energy)

Allegiance: Zeus

“My power is no fucking illusion.”

Easily Yuta’s favorite quote

He has been in and out of different martial arts programs since he was able to stand

Everything from Judo to Aikido

He’s done it

Right now he is currently working on boxing because he got to see Daigo Higa live (at one of his KOs) and he instantly fell in love with the art

So Yuta is one of the few kids to have known that he was a demigod since he was really young

The only others are Jaemin and Jisung

His dad was a martial artist and he had grown up in and out of gyms since he was 3 years old

And his mom was actually around until he was about 15

So from about 5 years old on, he was aware that he had a goddess as a mother

His parents never tried to hide it from him

But he wasn’t claimed until he was 15

It’s a long story

To shorten it up

His mother was forced to return to Olympus to carry out orders given by Zeus

But like a week later he had this huge aikido competition

And boy was just in a slump

Like he almost got KO’ed with a kick to the head

Which NEVER happens

It hurt his pride

As a martial artist and as his mother’s son

His father was with him, telling him his mother was looking down and cheering him on

But Yuta just couldn’t feel it

But this warmth of home just surrounded him

And in the metal of the locker door, he caught sight of a shimmering chain and feather above his head

His father gave him a huge smile

And he could feel his mother with him again

That last match of the day was the best he has ever performed

Yes, he has been aware of his godly heritage for a long time

But he had never been to camp before

But once you are claimed your scent becomes like 20x stronger

So at the age of 19 his parents decided to send him to the camp for the summer

Yuta was realllllyyyyy against this

His whole argument was

I’ve known who I was for so long, why the hell are you making me go to some group therapy session 14 years later.

His mind changed the 3rd day at camp

Okay the first day he was just in a pissy mood and almost punched the Camp Medic but that almost got him into a brawl with some son of Zelus, who just happened to be his cousin

The second day he was still in a pissy mood but now he also had a black eye so he was even more grouchy

But the third day was life changing

Some Ares kid who was like 12 years old ran up to him and begged him to come join him and his cabin in the training rink

And Yuta followed because, an octagon? Hell yes

The Ares camp leader agreed to work on some aikido moves with the kids and Yuta agreed to be his opponent

He suddenly remembered why he loved martial arts

And why he loved his parents

So soon he made up with Sicheng and actually became really close to that Zelus kid, Xuxi

And after that he was considered the best fighter in camp

He had led a few missions, once accompanied by Xuxi’s girlfriend and they almost got into another brawl but it’s cool. Xuxi is just overprotective

He was also co-captain for the Ares house during competitions

So after his 4th year back at camp

This time he started up a makeshift boxing gym in the training facility and was helping some of the more academically inclined demigods train

And by academically inclined he means nerds but Taeyong yelled at him for that so

You just happened to be one of those academically inclined individuals

But you weren’t horrible in the athletic department either

As a daughter of Hermes you were quite mischievous

Which meant you needed to know how to get out of tight situations fast

So your stamina was incredible

But as for strength

You were screwed if you had to put up a fight for some reason

So you decided to seek help in Yuta

The lessons that the camp allowed him to teach weren’t as rigorous as he would like to be

But at the same time he was so amazed at how many people were actually interested in the sport that he loved so much

So you were basically the quiet girl in the back of the room unless one of your friends was in the class with you

Then you became the life of the party

But Yuta honestly wanted to see you be the life of the party all the time

Like you made classes so much more brighter

And he was learning that with a little bit more practice you could have quite the heavy hand on you

To say you didn’t admire Yuta would be a lie

A HUGE lie

As Jisung (a young camper you had taken under your wing) would say it

“You are so whipped.”

Like whipped to the point that

You would go to the gym more often to workout and watch him work out

Stop your half-siblings from pulling dangerous pranks on the Bia cabin

Work with Sicheng and Xuxi more, along with Jaehyun

And Yuta was doing the exact same thing

Silently moving closer to you in the gym while he was working out

Hanging out with the Hermes kids more in attempts to pull pranks on other houses

Hanging out in the med center and courtyard more often

Honestly Sicheng was at another screaming point that if the two of you didn’t kiss soon he was going to force it.

Thankfully Jaehyun already had that under control

Today was one of your off days from helping Sicheng in the Med Center but you were also really close with his girlfriend so you offered to help while you were waiting for her to finish up

Yuta on the other hand was outside the camp in a taekwondo tournament with Jaehyun for ‘moral support’ (someone to help his beat ass home)

He won but he had multiple lacerations on his face and what appeared to be a dislocated shoulder

Hobbling in with the help of Jaehyun was no surprise to Sicheng or his girlfriend, who both just put down whatever they were doing and Sicheng gliding across the floor on his wheely chair (Sicheng loves his wheely chair) while she just went to work gathering saline solution, gauze and other things

But for you

This was a BIG surprise

Sure you were used to seeing Yuta with the constant bandage on his jaw and gauze around his ankle or wrist

But this was the first time that you had seen what had come before the clean up

It was actually something Yuta tried to hide from you

He didn’t want to make you feel like he led a violent life, it was just that as the type of athlete he was, he just had to roll with the punches… and kicks… and slams

And you were just there standing in the middle of the Med Center with your jaw tight to stop from tears welling while Sicheng and everyone else acted like this was a normal day’s occurrence

You were also used to seeing the constant smirk or resting bitch face plastered across his stoic features

But he was wincing every time his shoulder moved and looked ready to yell at Sicheng for pouring Saline into a cut

Yet when he looked up at you

He gave a small smile

Something about that brought you back to reality

You rushed over and began examining his shoulder, and relocated after making sure his collarbone wasn’t broken or anything

After Sicheng finished he called his girlfriend over and they walked out with Jaehyun following close behind

You weren’t supposed to see that.

The statement caught you off guard.

Why?

I don’t want you to see the pain I deal with and to think I live a violent life because of it.

His head dropped just low enough for his overgrown bangs to hide the expression melting onto his features

I don’t think you live a violent life.

You don’t?

I think you live your life to the fullest, I think you go after what your heart desires, I think you want to push your mind and body to their very limits. I don’t think that’s violent.

For some reason after that conversion you two just knew that you were together

It was very unspoken but it was there

He still hated you show you his wounds

But he begged you to show him yours

He still acted shy in the gym

But smiled a million times brighter when you were in the ring with him

He lived for the moments of adrenaline rush inside an octagon

But prayed for the moments he stepped out the ring and into your arms

He was still the same old Yuta

He was still constantly fighting

He was still constantly on missions

He was still everything that you fell in love with

But there was something different

He wanted to show you off to everyone

He made you meet his parents (mortal and deity – at the same dinner table)

He wanted to talk about apartments and universities

He was in for the long haul

Like one night you had snuck into the Bia cabin since Hermes had just gotten 3 new campers who couldn’t sleep

And you were sitting on opposite sides of the bed, legs tangled together just talking

He was in his oversized white t-shirt and cookie monster pajama shorts

You were in a jacket of his and leggings

And it felt right to him

Gods he would never admit it to anyone else

But he found the piece of him that was missing when his mother had to leave

He just blurted it out

25379 Songjam-ro gil, Seongbuk-dong, Seoul

What?

It’s an apartment, it’s really nice, really close to camp, close to campus, big enough, I placed first year’s rent yesterday.

OH MY GODS YUTA DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY?

I’ve been saving for a while.

What are you even going to do with it?

I got it for the both of us. We’ve been talking about moving in together and I don’t see why we can’t now. I really want this.

He seemed so excited telling you about it

How could you say no?

Everyone gets together for a small house warming party and it’s a disaster

Sicheng is drunk screaming about how it fucking took long enough

Mark is crying in the corner because his hyung is leaving him

Taeyong his about to pull his hair out

Doyoung is force feeding Jaehyun wine???

Taeil is trying to make Mark stop crying

Johnny and Ten are dancing on your new couch

But Yuta and you are in your own world

And everything just feels right…

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pokeasleepingsmaug · 4 years ago

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Agrotera

Based off this post . I also started a companion piece to it about Apollo doing music therapy with the girls and his redemption arc for all his problematic rapey actions in the past, so I can post that too if you’re interested.

Artemis doesn’t quite remember when Apollo traded his golden bow for something smaller, sleeker, easier to conceal and faster to fire, but she’ll never get used to the gleam of the pistol at his hip, and she’ll never relinquish her prized silver bow. She worked too hard to perfect her skill with it over the long millenia, brought down too many enemies with it, and cried out in a hunter’s triumph when her arrows struck true. She still uses the hand-draw technique like the archers of old, eschews the use of a quiver because they’re clumsy and slow her down when she’s in pursuit. Easier to hold her arrows in the hand that holds the bowstring.

Archery is an art that’s been lost over time to cheap trick-shots and Hollywood inaccuracies. But she’s a goddess and a huntress, and the tense snap of a bowstring sounds like poetry as she sends an arrow singing through the air. Maybe Apollo’s right and she has a dramatic flair, but she thinks that’s pretty rich coming from the guy who shot plague-arrows into half the Greek army during the final year of the Trojan War. If she ignores the fact that she once ripped a man to shreds with his own hounds, she can believe that Apollo is, in fact, the more dramatic twin.

The drama queen in question leans against the wrought-iron rail of their third-story apartment’s balcony, pistol gleaming at his hip as he takes another drag from his cigarette. “You can’t save them all, Art,” he tells her on an exhale, and she wrinkles her nose and waves the smoke away. She isn’t worried about the health risks, sometimes even wishes she could die, but the smell is another matter entirely.

“I could if you helped me,” she tells him, an edge of steel in her voice, and he sighs and rolls his jaw.

“Fine. The next time you hunt.”

She’s spent centuries with Apollo and knows when he’s only giving in because he’s tired of arguing, but she’ll take the win because she can’t stand to lose. “You have to take your bow.”

Apollo looks at her with one perfect eyebrow raised. She nods. “I was going to take it anyway,” he snaps. She doesn’t bother to hide her grin. He stubs his cigarette out against the railing and shoves past her through the sliding glass door, muttering as he stalks down the hallway to his room. They have rooms more as a matter of principle, since neither of them need to sleep. Both of them choose to, sometimes. It breaks up some of the tedium of immortality.

Artemis takes her twin’s spot at the railing, looks pensively at the sun rising above the city skyline. It seems distant today, the pinks and oranges less vibrant than normal. Apollo does this sometimes to show his annoyance, and still has the nerve to accuse her of being dramatic? He practically invented the concept.

…

Artemis has always been most comfortable in the dark, but it’s been decades--or has it been centuries?--since the goddess of night skies and deep woods danced in moonlight filtering through leaves. City streets are her haunt now, hunting monsters of a different kind in the glow of street lamps and neon signs that dull the once-magnificent night sky into something mundane.

She misses the time when mortals thought there was magic in the night and in the forest, when they used to pour unwatered wine and sing hymns to her, full of awe and fear. She was powerful once, adored. She isn’t either of those things anymore, but somehow she feels stronger than ever. More purposeful.

She’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, faintly gleaming silver bow and a pile of pale ash arrows resting on the floor at her feet. “Apollo,” she calls, half-annoyed. “We’re hunting for prey, not lovers.”

“I can’t find my bow.” His voice carries, muffled, from inside the apartment.

“It’s in the hall closet, hanging on the wall. Right next to the door.”

“I’m looking in the hall closet!”

“Apollo. Your bow is bright gold. It glows, for Christ’s sake,” Artemis mutters. She paces down the hall, about to show Apollo exactly where his bow is, when he emerges from the closet with a triumphant shout.

“I’ll tell Zeus you said that. Hey, can I borrow some arrows?”

“Oh my God,” Artemis groans, wondering if he just loves to torture her. “How are you even alive?”

“Probably because I’m immortal. So, arrows?”

“Fine. They’re more for show, anyway.” She stoops to scoop up her bow and a handful of arrows, leaving about half for Apollo.

“For show?” He questions, letting his eyes rove over his twin. She’s dressed all in black: black skinny jeans that hug her athletic legs and a black tank top beneath an unzipped black leather jacket. Her revealed skin is pale and gleams faintly silver, thick black eyeliner ringing her eyes, her lips the color of fresh blood. She reminds him of a panther in the breathless moment before a pounce.

“Also, you can’t wear that. All black everything.” Artemis glares scornfully at his yellow t-shirt.

“I don’t own anything black,” Apollo tells her matter-of-factly, smiling at her shocked face. “I’m a sun god, Art, not some weird emo moon goddess.”

“I wouldn’t say that around Selene.”

“Selene loves me.”

“Selene tolerates you,” Artemis informs him, ignoring the offended noise he makes. She decides to let Apollo’s questionable wardrobe choices slide this time. She supposes he looks intimidating enough to accompany her, with his artfully messy hair, bright blue eyes, and the faint golden glow of his skin. At the very least he looks not quite human, and that’s probably the best she’ll get from him. Maybe they can do a good cop, bad cop routine or something. They’ve been doing that for centuries anyway, they’ve pretty much perfected it. She whistles once, a short, sharp burst, and her black-and-tan hound rockets off the couch. She reaches an affectionate hand down to scratch his long velvet ears.

“Do we have to take him? He’s not, you know, inconspicuous.”

“Aristo has been with me on every hunt since Pan gave him to me!” Artemis scoffs, more offended than ever. The old satyr gave her six dogs and seven bitches back when the world was still new. She still has the entire pack, but Aristo is the only one who comes into the city with her.

“Where are the rest?” Apollo asks absently as he locks the door behind him.

“With Hecate.”

The twin gods head out into the city, walking down the sidewalk like any ordinary mortals might, and turn toward the college campus. Frat houses are usually a good hunting spot. Artemis pauses to smile up at the moon. Selene has it shining its very brightest for her tonight, a hunter’s moon perfectly round and low in the sky. Aristo trots happily at her side, Apollo has been quiet for probably three whole minutes, and she dares to hope, briefly, that she won’t need to hunt tonight.

Apollo grins as they turn down a street, following a stream of girls in tight dresses hobbling in too-tall heels, and Artemis smacks his arm hard enough to earn a disgruntled yelp. “You’re disgusting.”

“I look at guys the same way,” he reminds her with a shrug.

“That doesn’t make it better,” she snaps, beginning to regret bringing him along, but the thought is interrupted by Aristo whining low and urgent in his throat. He bays, giving voice to his full-throated hunting song, and she follows the hound as he tears across the frat house lawn, partygoers stumbling out of his way. Artemis runs after him like she’s just an ordinary girl chasing her escaped dog.

Apollo curses behind her as he starts running. Aristo waits for them at the front door of the house, still singing, and his claws leave deep gouges in the dark wood as he paws insistently at the door. Artemis shoves it open and follows him immediately up the stairs. He reaches the landing and skids around a corner, baying as he stops in front of a closed door.

It’s locked but Artemis kicks it open with a crack of hinges sudden as a lightning strike. What good is a door against a god? She sees the boy first, the harsh moonlight streaming through the open window turning his eyes to black pits and deepening the shadows under his cheekbones. He reminds her for an instant of the type of monster she hunted in days long gone. He’s frozen in place as the door bangs against the wall, so stunned he doesn’t even notice the seventy pound dog hurtling toward him until Aristo hits him like a howling torpedo. His arms windmill as he topples out of sight.

Artemis walks around the bed, lazy and graceful, following the sound of yelling and growling, of sharp gnashing teeth waiting for her command to sink into frail mortal flesh. She finds Aristo pinning the thrashing boy to the carpeted floor with his front paws on his shoulders. “Call off your dog! Please! Get him off me!” The voice is high and hysterical with mortal fear, and Artemis smiles down at him indulgently.

“I am Artemis Agrotera, and I will deal with you another time.” She calls Aristo off with a sharp whistle. The boy scrambles to his feet, crashing back to the floor as his shoulder collides with Apollo’s thighs. Apollo reaches down and draws him up by the arm, smiling with a menace that can’t quite match his twin’s.

“We’ll be seeing you,” he promises silkily, gives the arm a gentle squeeze, and stands aside to let the trembling criminal pass. Artemis sinks down on the edge of the rumpled bed, wipes tears from the girl’s cheeks with her thumb, and drapes her black jacket over the bare, shaking shoulders. The girl sobs and pulls the jacket tighter. Artemis makes a shushing noise in her throat and stands, scooping her up bridal-style like she weighs nothing at all.

The girl hides her face against the goddess’s chest as they leave the house. Fear and guilt war in her, eating her alive with teeth that slice like knives because she knows what will happen. The police will ask her how much she drank and what she was wearing and if she was flirting with him, if she’d given him any indication that maybe she wanted this. The thought turns her stomach, but they’re outside in the cool night air and the moon is so bright it seems to shine just for her.

Artemis looks down at the girl in her arms, and her heart breaks into a thousand pieces for the first time that night. “I’m taking you to someone who can help.” The walk back to the apartment building is about ten minutes, but the silence and the shaking girl make it seem like eternities. When they arrive, Artemis fumbles her car keys from the pocket of her black skinny jeans and hits the unlock button. “Do you want to sit in the front with me, or in the back with the dog?”

The girl’s wide brown eyes flit between Artemis’s perfect moon-pale face and Aristo’s floppy ears and kind brown eyes. “The dog, please.”

“His name is Aristo.” Artemis says, setting the girl on her feet and opening the back door for her. Aristo leaps in, tail wagging, and the mortal girl slides into the seat beside him. “He loves hugs.”

“Aristo,” the girl murmurs, burying her face in his neck with a shaky breath. “My name is Laurel.” Artemis’s stomach clenches. Apollo looks like he might be ill as he climbs into the passenger seat. He knows where the first laurel tree still grows, nearly as old as the surrounding hills.

Artemis starts the car and within minutes they’re speeding out of the city, turning off the highway onto winding back roads, and she rolls all the windows down to feel the wind in her hair and focuses on that to still the angry shaking of her hands. “Hey Art, does Hecate know we’re coming?” Apollo asks as they turn up the long dirt driveway, past a sign that says Crossroads Farm in fading purple paint.

“She always knows.”

Sure enough, the front porch light is on and lights are shining through the front windows. “We’re here,” Artemis announces for Laurel’s benefit as she parks.

“Where are we?” Laurel’s voice fills with fear. Artemis’s heart shatters into a thousand pieces, for what must be the thousandth time tonight.

“Crossroads Farm,” Artemis tells her, voice gentler than Apollo’s ever heard it. “You’ll be safe, I promise.”

“Who are you?” Laurel looks at them with wide, suspicious eyes and hugs hard enough around Aristo’s neck that he whines.

“Artemis, and this is my brother, Apollo.” Artemis waves her hand vaguely in the direction of her brother’s faintly shining face and ridiculous yellow t-shirt. They aren’t so ancient that their names are completely unfamiliar, because Artemis can see recognition stirring in Laurel’s fearful brown eyes.

“Like the ancient Greeks?”

Apollo nods. “Something like that. Come on, you’ll like Hecate.”

Before Artemis can stop him, he reaches toward Laurel’s hand to guide her up the steps. The mortal recoils from him, and Apollo looks so heartbroken Artemis almost pities him. She reminds herself he doesn’t know any better yet--he’s never spent time with a girl like Laurel before. He doesn’t understand the panic in her veins, the constant nagging fear she’ll carry with her for the rest of her life. He’s never heard a girl wake screaming from a nightmare she can’t stop reliving every time she closes her eyes.

“Shouldn’t we go to the police station?” Laurel asks, but she follows Artemis up the front porch steps anyway. Apollo walks a respectful distance behind her, half-dejected and half-protective, but completely silent. When Artemis opens the door, Hecate is already sitting at the scrubbed pine table with four steaming mugs of tea, the picture of serenity.

Hecate was called Iphigenia once, and she was the first mortal Artemis rescued; led to a gleaming sacrificial knife by a man who was supposed to protect her. She understands, in a way Artemis will never be able to, the fear and the guilt and the panic that feels like it can stop your lungs from filling. “Hi,” Hecate says simply, gesturing at the mugs. Laurel takes the empty seat beside her, and Artemis pointedly sits in the chair beside Laurel. Apollo huffs as he takes the seat furthest from her. “It’s herbal tea,” Hecate says, answering the girl’s unspoken question. “It will help you sleep without dreams.”

Laurel nods, wraps her hands around the warm ceramic mug and inhales deeply. “It smells good.” She hesitates, her eyes dancing over the three deities. “Are--are you really Greek gods?”

Artemis is proud of Apollo, for once, for the way he doesn’t let his face fall. She knows there’s nothing like a tragedy to unravel a mortal’s world; she’s seen it more times than she cares to remember and yet she can’t forget any of them. If something like this can happen--stories that happen on the evening news, to other people--then stories older than street lamps and cars can happen, too.

“Yes.” Artemis has found, through trial and error, through centuries, that simplicity works best.

“Artemis is the protector of young girls,” Apollo says, like that explains everything. “She’s been doing this--geez, for how long, Art?” He’s trying too hard to act casual, but Artemis can see he’s shaken. It takes some getting used to; this is only his first time and she has literal millenia of practice. She takes a deep breath and reminds herself to be patient.

“Since mortals stopped protecting their own daughters. When police began asking a girl what she was wearing, instead of asking a boy why he felt he had the right to take her sense of safety away.”

“Right. That long.”

“I was the first she saved,” Hecate volunteers conversationally. “Back when Troy still stood tall on its hill.”

“That clears things up,” Apollo mutters, rolling his eyes conspiratorially at Laurel. She rewards him with a tiny smile, and Artemis is half-surprised he doesn’t jump up and dance. He only grins, and she knows he’ll take whatever victory he can get even if it doesn’t feel like enough. A smile from Laurel won’t erase his past mistakes.

“It should clear things up, you were there,” Artemis reminds him. “You built the walls of Troy with your own hands.”

“Yeah, look how well that worked out.” Apollo pouts into his tea, unable to let go of that centuries-old sting. “Fucking Eris and her fucking apple.”

Artemis raises an eyebrow. “That was literally ages ago. We have other problems now.” Apollo follows her gaze as it rests on Laurel, sipping her tea and watching them with open fascination.

“How is this even my life?” Laurel wonders aloud.

Apollo shrugs, apparently having recovered from his earlier unease. “You’re just lucky, I guess.” The joke falls flat, he hisses in a breath and scrambles to fix his mistake. “Sorry, Jesus, I’m so sorry.” Tea sloshes over the side of his mug as he sets it down carelessly and reaches across the table for Laurel’s hand. She withdraws it and stares flatly into the contents of her mug.

Apollo’s face is crestfallen as he looks to Artemis for guidance, and she’s amazed that a god can be so painfully dumb. “Smooth,” she barks, patience momentarily snapped. Aristo rests his head on Laurel’s lap, much more comforting than Apollo could ever be, and she strokes him silently.

“Laurel,” Apollo begins, but she cuts him off with a shake of the head.

“It’s fine. Can-can I stay here tonight?” Her eyes are wide and wary as she turns to Hecate.

“Of course. I’ll show you to your room.” The gentle goddess stands, leading the exhausted mortal down the hallway to the left of the kitchen, through the living room, and toward the bedrooms in the back. They’ve done this too many times since Hecate bought this place a couple decades ago; there’s a dozen bedrooms here reserved for the girls Artemis brings. Sometimes they only stay for one night, sometimes for a week, sometimes they’ll leave and show up again unannounced months later, dark circles under their eyes and a constant tension in their shoulders.

Hecate never turns them away, only cooks them meals with the vegetables from her garden and gives them tea to help them sleep. They spend their days outside, reading in the sunlight or roaming with Artemis and her dogs, wearing loose chitons and carrying bows. There’s two other girls here besides Laurel; Kate, the girl Artemis helped last night, and Andrea, who showed up here a week ago and cried in Hecate’s arms again.

“Artemis,” Hecate calls down the hall, interrupting her thoughts, “can Aristo sleep with Laurel tonight?”

Artemis hates to relinquish her hunting partner, but he looks up at her with soft eyes, and she knows he would rather spend the night cuddling with Laurel than chasing her attacker. “Make sure Pelea has the scent,” she tells the dog. He wags his tail once in agreement and pushes through the doggy door to find Pelea. “He’ll be there soon,” Artemis calls back.

She and Apollo sit in silence, Apollo fidgeting with his empty mug as Artemis waits for her dogs. They’re only gone for a few minutes, Aristo trotting in with Pelea on his heels. He bumps his snout against his mistress’s hand as he trots by. Pelea rests her head on Artemis’s lap, tail wagging as Artemis scratches her ears.

A few minutes later Hecate glides into the kitchen on silent feet and sighs as she sits at the head of the table. “She’s settled in with Aristo. When are you guys going?” Artemis ducks her head to look out the window, squints up at the huge, bright hunter’s moon, and looks over at her brother.

“Ready for part two?”

“What’s part two?” His voice is apprehensive, and Artemis thinks it’s hilarious. She likes that she can still surprise him even after millenia.

She smiles wolfishly as she stands and stretches, slow and lazy. “The hunt.”

“Oh. I was wondering why you went by Agrotera earlier.” It’s an epithet he hadn’t heard her use in at least a few centuries, but it was one of the earliest used to describe her. Artemis Agrotera. Artemis of the Hunt.

She rolls her eyes so hard, she can practically see the back of her own skull. “Don’t tell me you still go by Phoebus.”

He shakes his head, looking away. “I stopped using my epithets a long time ago.”

Artemis steps forward and grips his chin, forcing him to face her. She hates the shame she sees there, but she knows it’s been a long time coming. “Apollo Akesios,” she says softly, firmly. “Averter of evil.” Sometimes even gods need to be reminded who they are.

“I don’t deserve that one. Maybe I never did.” His voice is low and full of sadness, but Artemis isn’t about to let him get away with wallowing. Self-loathing isn’t becoming for the god of the sun.

“Then earn it now. I don’t have time for your pity-party, Apollo, I have hunting to do. You can either hang out here and mope over Laurel--and we both know it isn’t really about her, anyway--or you can help me catch the asshole who did this.” She releases his chin; he rubs his jaw ruefully. Her grip had slowly tightened the more worked up she became.

“Fine, Art, geez. But tomorrow I’m going to Greece.”

“Tell Daphne if she ever wants to be human again, she has a place here,” Hecate interjects from the table. Apollo waves a hand in acknowledgement, trying to ignore the way his stomach drops at the name. He’s barely finished composing himself by the time Artemis is halfway out the door, and he starts after her with a muttered curse. They slide into her silver car, and he doesn’t have time to buckle his seatbelt before she’s peeling down the driveway.

“You can help me with this anytime you want, you know,” Artemis tells him, voice raised to be heard over the wind roaring through the windows. She’s tired of seeing her brother so lost, so far removed from the god he once was. They all are, except maybe Hades, because there will always be death. But hunting like this, protecting young girls like she used to, it reminds Artemis of who she is. She wants this feeling for her brother, too, because she loves him dearer than all the world of mortals.

“I’m not much of a hunter, Art.”

“No, but you invented medicine. You’re a healer. These girls, they need someone. Hecate does what she can, but sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes it takes more than herbal tea and an essential oil diffuser. For some of them, positive energy and sunlight doesn’t cut it. Hecate’s a minor goddess, but you? God of the sun, remember? Inventor of medicine and music and poetry. And Selene, she makes the moon shine brighter for them so they’re never caught out in the dark, but you can teach them to carry sunlight in their hearts again. You don’t have to hunt with me, after tonight. But when you get back from Greece,” she shrugs, “there’s a purpose for you, if you want it.”

Apollo doesn’t have to answer, because Pelea barks suddenly from the backseat. Artemis barely checks her blind spot as she pulls over, parking so quickly she scrapes her tire against the curb. She jumps out of the car and opens the back door for Pelea. Apollo unfolds himself from his seat and jogs alongside Artemis, following the hound.

“When did you train your dogs to do this?” He wonders idly, not expecting an answer.

“A couple hundred years ago, maybe? Around the time Ivar the Boneless invaded Ireland.”

“That was over a thousand years ago, Art.” He looks at her, bemused, knowing she doesn’t care about the specifics. It’s important to him, though. They’ve never kept secrets from each other, and this stings more than he wants to admit. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“You and Hermes sort of disappeared for a century or so, I didn’t want to bother you.” Apollo tries to remember this specific disappearance, thinks maybe it was when he and Hermes hung out with Calypso on her island for a while. It’s nice to leave the world sometimes. Pelea trots easily in front of them, scenting the cool breeze, and the moon is huge and high in the sky. It’s barely past the middle of the night.

“Where’s she taking us?” Apollo grumbles. Artemis, ever the patient hunter, smiles serenely at him and doesn’t grace him with an answer. Pelea’s tail wags in slow arcs. Artemis knows they’re getting closer but she enjoys the pursuit. She hopes the boy is laying in his bed, unable to sleep, feeling in his cowardly bones that vengeance is coming to him. She wants to hope he feels guilty but knows he probably doesn’t, so the most she ever hopes for is fear.

Pelea bays, just once, the sound that used to be the death-song of so many stags, and Artemis hopes the boy shivers at the sound. She sees him in the distance, a shadow against the horizon, a dark shape moving between houses. Pelea takes off after him eagerly, Artemis and Apollo hot on her heels. Pelea veers around to cut off his escape as the twins reach him.

Artemis reaches out, a pale arrow clasped in her hand, and rubs the shining silver point down the length of his spine. “I told you I would find you,” she croons, sing-song as a baying hound.

He stops dead in his tracks so suddenly that Apollo nearly crashes into him. Artemis strokes the arrow down the boy’s back again. She rubs her hand almost seductively along the back of his neck, leans closer, and whispers in his ear, “Turn around and face me.” She releases her hold, lets the arrowhead drag along his shoulder and chest as he obeys her. She tickles him lightly with the tip, just above the place where his heart beats so hard she can see the pulse throbbing in his neck. “Do you remember my name?”

He nods frantically, too terrified to speak. A sharp smell reaches her nose, she glances down to the spreading stain on the front of his jeans and clucks disapprovingly. “What was my name, again?” She drags the arrow up to the wildly thudding pulse at the juncture of his chin and neck.

“Art--Artemis A--Agro….” he trails off, she increases the pressure until he starts bawling. “Agrotera,” he chokes. She nods, pleased, and eases back just a bit.

“I’m not going to kill you,” she purrs, arrow still pressed against his throat. “This time. A quick death is too merciful for men like you.” She sighs, as if she regrets that. “In Sparta, where they worshipped me centuries ago, they gave all their women small knives. That way, if a man ever tried to force himself upon her, she could slash him across the face and the entire world would know what he did. That was a good time for women, when they didn’t need me to protect them.” She stares him down with eerie, unblinking silver eyes. “Do you know her name? The girl you attacked?”

He shakes his head, and Artemis gently traces the tip of the arrowhead along his jawline. “Her name is Laurel. She’s twenty years old and has a little brother, and she’s studying biology in college. She wants to be a cancer researcher, and travel the world, and she always loved the night until you made her afraid of it.” Artemis pauses, gives him a soft smile. “So now I want you to be afraid of it, too. I think they had it right in Sparta, all that time ago.”

Quick as thought, she darts the arrow up and slices along his cheekbone. The slash is clean, surgically precise, and will heal in a narrow, smooth pink scar. It’s high enough up that a beard will never hide it. “That custom is long dead, more’s the pity.” She shrugs, twirls the arrow so that it flashes in the moonlight, and tastes the dark blood on the silver arrowhead with the tip of her tongue. “Coward’s blood, I knew it. No descendent of Sparta.” She brings the arrow up again and runs it down the slope of his nose. “No one will know why there’s a slash on your face except you. Every time you look in the mirror, you’ll remember what you did. That is my first gift to you.”

She smiles, as if he’s just won the grand prize on a game show. There’s something feral in her eyes, a wildness mortals thought dead long ago. The boy is shaking uncontrollably. A first gift implies a second, and he doesn’t want anything except for this to be a dream. “So my first gift was knowledge, and my second is a promise.” She looks at him like she’s waiting for him to thank her.

When he’s silent, she shrugs and continues. She inspects the arrow as she speaks, not looking at him. He doesn’t deserve the attention of her gaze. “I promise that I will be watching you until the day you die. I promise that if you ever do this again, if you ever raise your hand to a woman, I will be the last thing you see.”

She reaches down, scratches Pelea’s ears affectionately. “This is Pelea. The dog I had with me earlier was Aristo. They’ve been alive longer than this country.” She gestures vaguely with the arrow; he instinctively raises his arms to protect his face. Artemis tries to hide the savage pleasure this brings her, but can’t quite keep the triumph from her ice-cold eyes. “They were given to me by Pan, the god of shepherds and wild places. Did you know he invented panic?” She tilts her head thoughtfully. “I perfected it, though.” The moonlight gleams off her perfect white teeth as she smiles.

“Once they have your scent, they can find you anywhere in the world. There is nowhere you can hide, nowhere my hounds cannot find you.” Her voice is mild, almost pleasant, and it makes the boy sob with a terror that’s older than instinct. Centuries ago, humans feared the gods; that fear is buried just beneath the surface of their conscious minds. It’s nearly effortless for Artemis to awaken it. “Do you understand me, mortal?”

He nods rapidly.

Artemis smiles and steps back. “Good. You may go now.”

She turns on her heel, crisp as a soldier on parade, and walks gracefully toward the car with Pelea roaming ahead to sniff a tree trunk. Apollo glances at the boy, takes in the abject terror and awe on his face as he watches Artemis walk away, and gives the boy a smile that could be mistaken for friendly before he follows his sister. The walk is quiet, with only the swishing of their feet through dew-damp grass and Pelea’s deep whuffs as she scents the air. Artemis opens the back door and the hound leaps in happily.

The twins climb into their seats and buckle their seatbelts, and Artemis drives them out of the city back toward Hecate’s farm. “Can’t you take me back to the apartment?” Apollo whines, not sure if he can face those girls when he can still remember Daphne morphing into a laurel tree to escape his touch.

“I like to be there when they wake up. Someday, you will, too.”

“After Greece, maybe.”

“You’ve waited too long to apologize.”

“I waited too long to learn my mistakes,” Apollo corrects.

She smiles over at him, full of pride. “I knew you would, though. I hoped it would be centuries ago, but better late than never.” She shrugs, like a few centuries isn’t a big deal when you can never die. “If I’d known hunting was what would make you realize, I would have taken you with me a long time ago.”

“Art, that was…. He looked at you like they all used to look at us. You were terrifying. I haven’t seen you like that in thousands of years. Agrotera, indeed.”

She smiles, pleased. “Mortals haven’t changed much, really.” She turns up the long dirt driveway of Crossroads Farm. Hecate left the porch light on for them, but the windows are dark this time. Artemis puts the car in park and kills the engine before she turns in her seat and fixes her bright silver eyes on him. “So will you be here in the morning?”

She’s really asking if he wants to see Laurel again, and Apollo knows it. And he does want to, but he can’t. Not yet. First he needs to see a different laurel, a tree nearly as old as the hills and twice as wise.

He shakes his head. “I’ll be in Greece at first light. Tell Laurel,” he blows out a breath between pursed lips. “Tell her I’ll be back by dinner.”

“I’ll tell her, if she asks,” Artemis promises, knowing she probably won’t. She hopes Apollo doesn’t pick up on that, but his face falls before he can stop it. She’s spent millenia reading his emotions, and her heart breaks into a thousand pieces for what must be the millionth time that night. She draws her twin into a hug. “Good luck, Apollo Akesios.”

He wraps his arms around her. “I promise I won’t disappear for a century this time. This is my place now, just like yours.” He ends the hug and straightens, brows pinched together in the middle. “Should we end the lease on the apartment?”

“No. That’s my base of operations in the city. I just let you crash there because you were a broke street musician.”

Apollo huffs, offended. “Not anymore, though. I’ll see you tomorrow, Art.” He sighs and rolls his jaw. Artemis nods and opens the car door. When she reaches the porch and turns back to the car, the passenger seat is empty. She opens the door and steps into the kitchen. She hangs her gleaming silver bow on the hook by front door and tiptoes down the hallway.

She peeks into three bedrooms, at the girls finally able to sleep peacefully, snoring hounds curled up at their feet. It’s not adoration like she once had, but it’s still a home, and these healing girls are just as much a family as her band of huntresses ever were. For what must be the first time that night, she thinks her heart might be whole.

#modern mythology #greek goddesses #artemis #apollo #hecate #iphigenia #selene #greek mythology #modern greek mythology

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years ago

Note

Could you do something (maybe in terms of "rom-com first meeting" fluff)on how Ratigan, Hades, and Oogie Boogie met their s/o ? (Also, I adore your blog, it's one of my favorites!)

I’m not sure how tooth-rotting these meet-cutes are but I hope you like them! ^^

(I’m soo glad you like it! ^^)

~~~

Hades:

· (Background: You are a mother of one of Zeus’ children- this, of course, turned your life upside down. You don’t get to see your kid since Hera kidnapped her, you had to leave your village because everyone knew and it was a scandal, and you had to get iffy odd jobs to survive. Zeus’ dick just generally ruined your life as you knew it. Hades knows nothing about you as he’s a smart man and stays out of Zeus’ marital issues.)

· You’re escaping Nessus in the forest that Hades tends to just hang out in sometimes (For peace and quiet) when you literally run face first into him and bounce back. You look up at what obstructed your escape, see who know as Zeus (AKA; The life ruined) ’s brother and immediately go “Ugh, you.”

· “What?-“ Before Hades can even come up with an intelligent responce to that though, you hear loud galloping getting closer and you “Yeep!”, panic and rush around Hades, hiding behind him.

· Because he’s (For the most part) a smooth bastard, Hades puts the pieces together and tells Nessus you went a different way. As soon as the Nessus’ blueness disappears from your view, you let out a relieved breath and relax your grip on Hades’ toga, stepping back. “Oh, thank god.”

· Chewing on your thumbnail, thinking about your next steps, you look from the ground to Hades, get a nasty flash back of his brother and then groan. “Oh, well, bye! Thanks, buddy. See ya.”

· You walk off immediately, back the way you came for a few whole moments before Hades’ curiosities about your get the better of him and he takes shape in front of you.

· Causing you to run into him.

· Again.

Oogie Boogie:

· It’s probably after Lock, Shock and Barrel kidnapping you and dropping you down the shoot along with the his food and, at one point, St Nick, to Oogie’s… dungeon prison or whatever… because I don’t think Oogie’s fibres see the sun? Like, ever??

· So yes, your Meet Cute includes kidnapping, and darkness, and some falling, a tad bit of claustrophobia, and possibly also some screams- but you won’t get hurt!

· Much. I mean, the tumble will initially sting, but Oogie’s the kind to see beauty immediately and get to work.

· Like, “Now, who do we have here. A screamer, staker, or dinne- Ooooooh, something new! Ha! Oogie Boogie’s my name. What’s yours, doll?”

· You’re just sitting there where the shoot dropped you, on the floor, hands behind you to keep you in a semi-sitting position, ass hurting from the fall, looking up at the this big, green sack who’s holding its (His?) hand out to you for a shake and when you hesitantly take it, he pulls you up like you’re nothing but a cardboard box. You nearly lose your balance, not having expected to be on your feet so soon, but he corrects your balance as he appears suddenly behind you and drags your centre of gravity right again.

· You’re very confused. What’s happening?? He moves in front of you again, grinning wide.

· “I’m… uh… Y/N?”

· “(Some loud joke about your name), huh?”

· “Sorry, um, what the hell is going on??”

· He’ll probably explain in the form of a song, so get ready to be flung around the room a bit.

Professor Ratigan:

· Okay, to set the scene: You’re working as a waitress in Ratigans secret lair. He hasn’t met you yet, but he is your employer at the moment. He’s a gangster, he doesn’t threaten his own employees into working for him, that’s up to his goons.

· So here you are one night, struggling through the drunk mice singing pub songs like 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, swaying around and generally just not making it easier for you to manoeuvre through with your platter of pints.

· And, suddenly, right in the middle of a chorus, you accidentally get knocked in the nose by a flying elbow and the hands holding the platter jolt and the glasses shatter on the floor, sticky ale and wine spill on the ground, your arms and your clothes. And on top of that, your nose hurts like a bitch, and you feel wetness on your top lip.

· No one seems to notice or care, so you just hold you nose and glare hard at the man who belongs to the elbow as you crouch down and try to clean the mess up with a rag quickly so you can get back to the bar and take care of your nose.

· Rattigan’s just lounging on his chair, sipping his own drink when looks lazily across the room at his followers all having a grand old time, and notices a vacant space in the tight group and stretches his neck up to see that a serving maid is struggling among all the dirty boots to clean up a mess.

· Now, Rattigan isn’t nice… but he does have manners! And seeing as you’re a serving maid, not an enemy by any means, he gets frustrated at the group for not giving you a hand and the party parts like the red sea so he can get to you and help you up to your feet.

· You try to apologise for the mess, but he says not to worry about it and gestures for someone else to handle it when he sees your nose, blood trickling out at an alarming pace. He thinks its cute that you want to keep working even though you’re injured.

· Being a genius, he easily helps you with your ailment, checks that you don’t have a concussion or anything, and then sits with you to make sure you don’t bleed for too long.

· The next time he sees you (So, the next night), he greets you warmly like a mate and not an employee- You just made a friend in a HIGH place. (;

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greekbros · 4 years ago

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"greek-Bros: The Ultimate Armor"

Ares: *sitting in the middle of a battle field, contemplating as one would, what to do next*.....*looks down and sees bits and pieces of swords, knives and other sharp objects*......!

*later*

Hephaestus: * peacefully working on an automation, completely focused when suddenly the clattering of metal bits and pieces startle him* OH DAMN IT ALL WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! BUBO GET ME MY MALLET I HAVE NO TIME TO N-*turns around and sees Ares has spilt a large bucket of sword pieces, knives, daggers and arrowhead on to Hephaestus's work table*

Ares: C:

Hephaestus: *looks at the pile of sharp things, looks at Ares, looks at the pile, looks at Ares*......brother.....

Ares: caaaan.....

Hephaestus: Mother told me not to do it.

Ares: you pleeeeeeease....

Hephaestus: I AM NOT DOING IT.

Ares: .....make armor out of these?

Hephaestus: no.

Ares: WHY NOT?! I SAID PLEASE!

Hephaestus: I am not making you spiked armor from the discarded bits of sharp objects you've found. Mother and Father told me that it was the ONE thing I could refuse you.

Ares: Come ooooooon, it would be so cool.

Hephaestus: I am not making it. Besides the material is unfit for forging and it would be impractical.

Dionysus: *literally just walks in* hey bro can you make me a really neat breast plate from this? *Takes out a brass plate, an old gold wine chalice, a whole vine, and a piece of drift wood*

Hephaestus: oh yes one moment. *Takes it all, puts it in a melting cauldron, basically forges an ornate but incredibly vulgar looking breast plate with literal breasts on them.* Im not sure as to what you may need this for but I assume it's properties are just as.... eclectic as you, Dionysus.

Dionysus: thanks Heph, *puts the breast plate on* now I can prove to Athena who has the big bitch tits around here, call me a 'useless lump', hmf, I am thousand more times a bad bitch than her I s-*grumbles off back to where ever void he came from*

Ares: ........*looks at Hephaestus*........I'm not leaving.

Hephaestus: ....There is nothing you could possibly do to convince me t-

Ares: Oh yeah did I ever tell you how me and Aphrodite did the-

Hephaestus: *takes the sharp objects and forges* ENOUGH TELL ME NO MORE.

Ares: C: *thinks: man I am going to shred so many people with my armor*

*later*

Ares: *walks around in a ridiculously edgy armor covered in spikes and such* ....

Apollo, Hermes and several other gods: *makes absolute space for Ares*

Aphrodite: .....*angry that Ares has traded his approachable armor for this* .....*turns to Hephaestus* This is YOUR fault isn't it?

Hephaestus: *realising that this edgelord armor could benefit his marriage* ....*in a falsetto* oh dear me, what have I done.

Ares: BEHOLD! I HAVE THE BEST DEFENSE IN ALL OF OLYMPUS!

Zeus: *looks at Ares and his new armor* ....my boy, you look like a hedgehog, pleeeeeeease remove that terrible armor.

Ares: *in a mental shut down because he was compared to a hedgehog*......Yes dad. *Takes the armor off until he's just in his basic tunic* ....*walks to Hephaestus* .....melt this down.

Hephaestus: ...*now feeling the burning hubris of this situation*.....why don't you just leave it at my work bench.....

Aphrodite: *blushing at the fact she just got a strip tease* ( ◕ヮ◕)

Zeus: .....*turns to dionysus* you too dionysus....your um.....breast plate is a little too.... inappropriate.

Dionysus: YOU CAN'T TELL ME SHIT DAD, you're just jealous of my new armor. *enjoying his stupid metal breasts*

Zeus: ...........why do I bother.

Ares and Hephaestus: *just calmly trying to push the armor to each other to see who takes the armor back to the work bench*

Ares: please seriously my hands hurt.

Hephaestus: you commissioned the armor, you take it back.

Ares: I insist.

Hephaestus: I insist more.

Ares: dude fucking do it or I'll throw this at you.

Hephaestus: if you do I will proceed to shove the vambrace up your rectom and make you feel my ever growing hatred for you.

Ares: same ugo.

#greek bros #dionysus #greek myth memes #greek gods #greek mythology #ares #Hephaestus #Zeus #hellenistic #aphrodite

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alynawatchestv · 4 years ago

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Alyna watches Xena - 01x02 Chariots of War

Reblogs and comments will make me very happy. :)

OK, so the story starts with Xena and Gabrielle walking into some tavern. Apparently, it has everything Cyrene’s tavern was lacking which is wine and beautiful women to sleep with, but because Xena is with Gabrielle she only lets herself to drink wine.

Gabrielle is telling Xena a story how Zeus turned two lovers into oak trees while Xena is drinking wine and checking out women.

*old habits die hard*

Gabrielle asks Xena if she knows what happened next and Xena responds in a typical Xena-like fashion “Somebody built the boat out of them?”. This is gold and a reason while I love Xena so much. Unlike spiritual, daydreaming Gabrielle she is more pragmatic and down to earth, just like me.

So Xena slightly irritated asks what the point of the story is and Gabrielle says she believes everyone will find their tree in the forest meaning Gabrielle is unintentionally hitting something our hero doesn’t notice or is really trying not to notice (I mean, “let me be your tree” is a new way of saying wanna go out with me?” I guess). But Xena being a typical drama queen says the strongest trees in the forest are to ones that stand alone. And Gabrielle is trying really hard not to facepalm by saying that Xena doesn’t always have to be strong and can afford to be soft.

Xena is trying to get out of the tavern ASAP and tells Gabrielle she’s gonna check if they can cross some river so they don’t have to lose two days on… Something. And I’m pretty sure it’s not about losing two days. It’s Xena not wanting to talk about her feelings so Gabrielle won’t find out what a big softie she is. After all, a girl doesn’t reveal all of her secrets all at once.

Our Warrior Princess decides they need to find a place for Gabrielle to stay in and when Gabrielle is asking why some drunk dude puts his dirty hands on Gabby’s arms begging to tell him a story. So our little sidekick is all like “Fuuuck. Nuh uh. New place! Now!”

But apparently, Xena couldn’t find a place for Gabrielle to stay in because she leaves her in the middle of the road and rides off on her trusty stallion. I mean… At least you could find some barn or something, Xena. Gods.

Meanwhile, we jump to some village where we can see how child labor looked in ancient Greece. Kids are working hard and one of the boys hits himself with a hammer (not with Draco’s father’s blacksmith’s hammer, mind you). So their father, I presume, teaches the boy how to hold the tool without hurting himself as the build a barn or something like that.

I’m not sure if little kids working in unsafe conditions is ok, but it’s normal, I guess. The kids are afraid they would have to go back to Troy but their dad tells them they won’t, which could be a good decision as we all know what happened to Troy.

The father leaves his sons to keep working while he takes his daughter with him to do something else. When he’s occupied with picking up the most beautiful stick his daughter notices some raiders coming towards them. Being a child of few words she just gives signal to her dad. But when he turns there’s nothing there. The raiders are on the low ground and can’t be seen. But the second time everyone notice them and panic starts.

There is a group of warlords looking like Conan movie rejects closing in on the peasants. The Boss Warlord, with really beautiful eyes, I gotta adit, is riding a chariot and seeing this ”good looking”... I mean, I honestly don’t get it. There’s nothing there but fields and some half-build barn or something like that and a bunch of people doing… There are no houses even. It’s confusing really.

So the Boss Warlord orders the attack and Conan movie warlord rejects run towards the peasants doing “arrrgh, rrra” and other scary and weird noises. The father tell everyone to take cover. So what those peasants do? They fucking start running in all directions. Like look at that! Chickens! Seriously, chickens running everywhere.

*Don’t run towards danger, people! Run away from it, gods damn it!*

The warlords chase after people, make funny noises and even try to destroy the barn or whatever this thing is supposed to be. But thankfully, Xena is on her horse and seeing what is happening she rushes into the action with her battle cry! The Boss Warlord is watching intrigued while Xena kicks another two guys and then another and then jumps on one end of a table (there are no houses, but there’s a table. Priorities.) and hits the attacker with another and he falls on his end so Xena can flip from her end and... Well, it looks pretty awesome.

So another warlord is still trying to bring down the unfinished building which is weird it takes him so much time, because I’m sure whoever built this… ’building’ needs “Carpentry for Idiots” book. Gods, even me, with minimum knowledge of woodwork can see this building has no right to stand as long as it is. Go back to baking bread and pitch hay peasants!

Xena rushes to save the kid who’s hiding there… In the most visible place… Seriously, these people. So Xena rushes to save the kid and grabs him just in time before the building falls down. The father runs to Xena and thanks her, but the Boss Warlord is giving the order to fire arrows. Xena turns her head, arrows are flying and she catches two! That’s how badass she is! This scene is gold, I tell you.

But! A third arrow was shot and this one wounds our heroine… ok, this sounds really stupid… Our warrior princess! Xena falls down from the horse unconscious.

*And scene. In the times of ancient gods… Blah, blah, blah.*

So the father takes Xena to his house to help her. And here’s my question. Where did the evil warlords go? Did they vanish? Did they decided this joke of a place wasn’t worth of their time? They decided to wait till Xena gets better? Where are they and why didn’t they kill everyone?!

So the father puts Xena on bed to take out the arrow, but seeing the wound he slightly panics, but Xena being badass says she’s done it a few times. She tells the father what to do and when he leaves the room his kids show up to look at the guest. And it’s understandable, kids are kids, curiosity is natural. But when the father comes back and tells them to GTFO the oldest son turns out to be a fucking savage!

Father: Everyone. Out.

Savage Son: Do we have to?

Father: Yes.

Savage Son: We always miss everything good.

He’s awesome.

Xena asks if he knows who the warlords was and it turns out they were the men of Sycnus… The men of Sycnes… The men of Sickness… Crap, just a sec, gotta check IMDB. They’re the men of Cycnus.

So the father says Cycnus wants to claim right to the lands while taking Xena’s armor. She instantly checks if her boobs look good in the light, while stating it’s something more than that. When it turns out the arrow didn’t go through the body she makes the father push it.

Xena tells him what to do step by step. He’s a little bit panicked but being a big boy, fortunately he doesn’t faint but Xena does.

Meanwhile we can see Cycnus’ camp and the Boss Warlord is fighting some random dude just like Xena and Draco where fighting in episode 1. But it’s not really that awesome and enthralling to be honest. But the Boss Warlord wins and his father, who’s Cycnus decides to spar with him. The Boss Warlord tells Cycnus he’s ready to take his place, but Cycnus says the Boss Warlord is missing a desire to kill unlike his brother, Stentor killed in Korinth. And frankly, how can you be a warlord without burning villages, enslaving people, killing people, conquering people and all that?

But the Boss Warlord say he killed a warrior woman but doesn’t know the name and the father laughs at him saying killing a woman is not gonna impress Ares. Bitch, if you only knew.

He makes fun of his son telling him Ares won’t even pay attention to him and that he can’t conquer a valley with simple peasants who just wanna live peacefully. And frankly, he’s right. I mean, these are warriors vs peasants. How hard can it be? This dude thinks he killed a warrior and then what? Let go and backed out? This part is really messed up and it’s just a lazy writing.

Oh, and we learned the dead brother’s name, but not the Boss Warlord’s.

We’re back to the house and Xena is sleeping. The two boys come in to check out on her and are wondering if she’s gonna die. The older one being savage himself says if Xena dies he’s taking the horse. He’s super compassionate. Xena wakes up tells the boys one arrow is not enough to kill her and… goes back to sleep I guess. Awesome scene. Really there for a reason.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle is back in the tavern. I think it’s because it got dark and the road isn’t a good place to spend the night. So she’s hopelessly looking at the tavern entrance hoping Xena will walk in so she could jump in her arms and kiss her and… Oh wait, we’re not there yet.

Gabrielle talks to the barkeep just to feel a little bit less nervous and the barkeep says she’s either ordering or GTFO so she takes some water and the barkeep is kinda pissed off, because apparently, the water is free but she’s a client and he can’t kick her out.

And when Gabrielle is there, all alone, scared, wondering if Xena’s ok, if she’s coming back, our warrior princess is chilling out in bed, telling kids a story about a giant and how she jammed her fist in… OK, let’s not dwell on that. And the dad doesn’t want Xena to go graphic too so she says she used a feather and the Savage Kid is all like “what? You used a feather?” and Xena is like “Oh no, I used the whole goose because giants have big feet”.

*Fear me giants for I am your doom!*

The kids laugh, the dad laughs, everything is peaceful and then the little kid asks if Xena travels with her family, but she responds she has no family.

WHAT? Who the fuck wrote this script? One already stupid thing is the Boss Warlord wounding Xena and deciding to bail, because why kill everyone and take the land to yourself? And now Xena, who reconciled with her mom, says she has no family? Instead of saying she has a family and a friend traveling with her whom she left in some village and needs to get back as soon as possible, Xena says she has no family and chills like nothing happens?

*fuck you lazy writers*

Oh, one more thing, we’re almost 14 minutes into the episode and the dad still hasn’t told Xena his name! I hate this episode.

But Xena tells the kids about how hard life on the road is, she smiles at the dad, he smiles at her and we’re supposedly are to believe there is a chance there’ll be something between them. Xena changes the subject, because she, as the viewers, knows how stupid that is. She asks the girl what her name was and she learns she doesn’t talk since their mom died (I’ll bet you, she’ll be talking by the end of this episode).

Suddenly, there’s a knocking on the door and a neighbor comes in asking when will Xena GTFO and… it’s 14:04 minutes and we finally learn the Dad’s name! It’s Darius! Oh, praise Hestia for this reveal! Again, fuck you writers.

Darius tells the neighbor he ain’t gonna tell a wounded person to GTFO, but the neighbor says he gets Darius has been without a woman for a long time, but maybe this isn’t the best way to get another. Because he respects women and doesn’t want Darius to take advantage of a wounded person.

So they talk about Xena for a while and Darius promises that wen Xena gets better, she’ll GTFO. But Xena makes the decision for him and is found in a barn preparing Argo saying she needs to get her friend she left in some other village. So Darius, being a clingy dude says Xena’s friend will take care of herself for a few days. I mean, sure, I guess he knows better. Because apparently he knows Gabrielle. Burn in Tartarus, Darius… And you too writers for giving the characters such stupid lines.

I do get he wants Xena to rest and get really better, but this is another moment of bad writing, imo, and I’m waiting for the Boss Warlord and some fights, because I, frankly, can’t stand Darius and his clinginess. So he’s pining over Xena when, out of fucking nowhere, a whole bunch of warlords show up, burn the food silo… And leave. There are five people in this team. Five warlords against a wounded warrior and a farmer. And they burn a silo? Come on, this is another example of lazy writing you guys!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a terrible episode, but it’s bad. Like Draco was straight up ruthless. He came to Amphipolis, said he’s gonna kill everyone and had he won, we know he’d have stuck to his promise (I’m pretty sure I messed up this conditional pretty bad). But Cycnus and his warlords are just a bunch of amateurs. They’re doing this in the name of Ares? Ares stopped paying attention, because I’m sure burning silos made him question if he should still be a god of war having such believers.

So the warlords leave, Darius is trying to put down the flames and Xena is like “fuck it, it’s gonna burn anyway. Let’s look at the dark, empty road instead.”

The next morning Gabrielle, who apparently did sleep in some barn or under a tree, walks into the tavern and orders water… Damn, this girl is cheap. Moment later some pirate is hitting on her and she puts him down using lots of words the pirate doesn’t understand. But the pirate is stupid enough not to get when a girl says no, and when Gabrielle says she’s looking for a friend he says he could be her friend smiling disgustingly. And the dude is dumber than a sack of potatoes, because when Gabrielle tells him Xena is her friend he offers to be friend to both. So when this doesn’t work Gabrielle uses fake boyfriend excuse pointing at… Yes, you guessed it right. The Boss Warlord. He’s there drinking wine, brooding, thinking how lame of a warlord he is by not killing everyone when he got a chance and burning only a food silo and not the whole house.

But the pirate isn’t maybe as stupid as he looks, because he immediately knows Gabrielle is lying so the girl walks over to the Boss Warlord and kisses him telling him to pretend he knows her. Seeing a beautiful, young woman kissing him out of nowhere the Boss Warlord is totally cool with that. Because who wouldn’t be cool with that. I know I wouldn’t complain.

Meanwhile, Xena is looking for her weapons when Darius comes in telling her he doesn’t need to fight as the neighbor is gonna go with a peace offer. Xena says that people like Cycnus don’t deal with peace and he’s the thing I actually liked in Darius. He’s a lot like Gabrielle. He tells Xena that she’s changed for better so maybe those guys can be convinced too. I mean, this is actually cool. I’m still all for killing all those warlords, but I like the parallel here.

In the meantime, Gabrielle is talking to the Boss Warlord. He’s totally into her laughing at that little stunt she pulled, but his mood shifts the moment Gabrielle tells him she’s looking for her friend, Xena. Suddenly, he’s like “oh fuuuuuck”, but he lies saying he hadn’t seen her. And then we get this scene.

*How did the writers put so much subtext without knowing it’s subtext is beyond me.*

So they keep talking and it turns out the Boss Warlord isn’t really a bad guy. He works for his dad, because his bro died and he took his place. But we can see this isn’t something he wants to do. Aww, he’s a big softie. I mean, a softie who will shoot and arrow to a chest but still. Gabrielle understands him perfectly, because her mother also expected her to follow certain path the young girl didn’t want to go. So the Boss Warlord is kinda panicking and decided to leave hoping they’d meet again. He leaves and Gabrielle is sort of swooning over him? Yeah, let’s pretend she does.

Oh, we still have no idea what the Boss Warlord’s name is. Facepalm.

So Darius and Xena are preparing to go and talk peacefully to the warlords, but when Xena comes out in her armor Darius says she can’t go negotiate in this and is trying to give her a dress after her dead wife. Xena doesn’t want to but Darius is pushing and pushing and she finally gives up and when she puts on the dress she realizes she actually looks smoking hot in it. If only Gabrielle could see her now.

Meanwhile the Boss Warlord comes into a tent and here after, 23 minutes, we learn the Boss Warlord’s name. 23 minutes, because someone forgot to introduce characters properly. The Boss Warlord spoke to his dad, no name given. He spoke to Gabrielle no name given, although she gave him hers. Those lazy writers. So Sphaerus, because that’s his name, but I'm gonna stick to Boss Warlord, walks into a tent and his father informs him he will go to this peaceful meeting and kill all the villagers.

And the Boss Warlord is keeping poker face but inside is all like: Fuuuuuck.

So we move back to Darius’ house and in this scene the Savage Kid is winning again. So Darius is preparing kids to go and the younger son asks if the meeting means they’re gonna be friends with the warlords now and Darius says that not really, but maybe they will come up with some sort of relationship. And the Savage Kid is all like

Savage Kid: It might require a sacrifice, so we’ve decided to give them Lykus.

Lykus: What? O_o

Darius: Argolis! Don’t taunt your brother.

Savage Kid: But, it’s so much fun.

This kid is going places. Some serious psycho ones, but still.

Also, 24 minutes in and we finally learn kids’ names… Except for the Quiet One, because, who cares about her anyway.

Xena comes in wearing that blue dress and the Quiet One grabs her hand smiling, because I bet Xena reminds her of her mom. Darius smiles also and they all leave for the meeting.

Meanwhile the Boss Warlord is waiting for the villagers to arrive visibly nervous. He starts talking when Xena comes in and he’s like “Fuuuuck, she’s alive”. Darius seeing his neighbors are still alive is “You see? I told you we could trust them” and Xena looks at him like he’s a naive fool that he actually is. So the neighbor, the one that revealed Darius’ name to the viewer, comes to Darius and he says Xena can’t be here and she was supposed to GTFO. Xena says she’ll wait in the back and while The Boss Warlord explains there’s an idea for peace between two groups Xena is observing the surroundings for any sign of danger. She notices someone is trying to open the from the inside so she… jumps out of the window… Yeah, OK, it’s Xena, we all know she’s a show off sometimes and I love her for that.

So she starts beating the…. No wait. She shows attackers to wait for a moment so she can be even more sexy when fighting and she tears off her dress so we all can see those beautiful legs of hers and starts fighting the men.

She kicks them, punches them, hits them with clay pots that are lying all around and tells the villagers to run while she’s waiting for another bunch of attackers. So the Boss Warlord’s father’s lackey (Saxon Genitive strikes again) wants to attack but is stopped by the Boss Warlord who doesn’t really wanna kill those peasants so he lets them escape.

After the escape Darius is packing some old rags and two wine cups into a bag, because he wants to take his kids to safety, which is of course understandable but why pack rags and wine cups? Anyway, Xena comes in and Darius starts blaming her for the fight and that the peace offering didn’t pan out. Xena tells him those men she fought would have killed them all, but he’s still acting like it’s all Xena’s fault. Some men, I tell you. Smh.

Xena tells Darius that he should fight and that those warlords can’t be negotiated with, but Darius tells her he’d been to enough wars to know what it’s like and he’s not going to pick up a sword again.

Personally, I can respect that and I get Darius. He’s got three little kids he needs to take care of and fighting anyone is the simplest way to make those kids orphans. Now Xena is all pissed off at Darius not understanding why would Darius run away instead of fight although he gave her the reason. It’s a scene where we can see Xena is always in battle mode no matter what, and no matter who’s life she risks, because fight is all she knows and it’s the only way she knows how to deal with problems.

At the same time, Cycnus shows up angry and awaiting explanation. First, he accuses his lackey, but the Boss Warlord say it was his fault those peasants are alive, because he didn’t have guts to kill them. So Cycnus is all like “Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!” and leaves pissed off.

In the village, Xena is preparing her horse when two little kids come in wondering if Xens is gonna fight Cycnus and his merry band, she says maybe, the little kid hugs her, Darius comes in and tells her she can always change her mind, but she says she wish she could and leaves. And of course the tender music and the way Darius looks at Xena and the way she looks at him is supposed to indicate there might have been something between them if times were different. And Xena decided to live a boring life. And stop being a warrior. And… You get the point.

But while Xena is finally coming back to Gabrielle the leader of villagers is meeting with Cycnus and tells him the person responsible for the whole fight was Xena. Cycnus immediately knows who he’s talking about and tells him to go back to the village and await slaughter. While preparing to go to fight, the Boss Warlord comes in and learns his father is planning to find and kill Xena because she killed the Boss Warlord’s brother. Shocking! So the Boss Warlord gets angry and tells his father he’s going to avenge his brother.

So Xena is slowly riding her horse and stops seeing Gabrielle running her way. How did these two met in the middle of nowhere is a mystery, because I have problems with finding my friends in my town. And it’s a really small town. But anyway, Xena is notably happy to Gabrielle is well and good.

*blink and you’ll miss it*

Xena apologizes to her for leaving her alone for so long, Gabrielle is surprised, because apparently, Xena never apologizes. Anyway, Xena tells her friend to wait for her in a farmhouse down the road because she has something to do. When Gabrielle asks what she gives her the “I’m about to murder people” look and Gabrielle say she’s not gonna wait again while Xena has all the fun and they leave together.

While they walk Gabrielle tells Xena she might have found her “tree in the forest” mentioning the Boss Warlord she met in a tavern. She wonder if she’s ever gonna find him and what if she’s supposed to be his and have kids and… Oh, first season is so cute and naïve this way. And it’s funny how after a few minutes of conversation Gabrielle starts thinking on having family and kids while just an episode earlier she was talking how it’s not a life for her. That she was born to become someone greater.

But at least we have this

*oops*

Xena isn’t listening to Gabrielle noticing warlords in the chariots coming their way. She tells Gabrielle to get on the horse and distract them.

Gabrielle is riding a horse trying not to fall from it while the warlords are chasing her while Xena climbs the tree, ties the rope jumps on a second chariot, ties the two guys who are there and when they fall out of the chariot she takes over and starts chasing the first chariot. Awesome scene.

So they chase for a while and the camera operator did a great job creating such a dynamic scene. Warlords chase Gabrielle while Xena takes a short cut and manages to catch on with her friend telling her to jump from a horse to a chariot. Gabrielle jumps and they Xena give her reigns so she could fight the Boss Warlord and his dad. She quickly realizes she has no chakram, because if you recall, when she was packing to leave, her weapon was covered by the dress and Xena forgot about it.

Cycnus takes out his sword and Xena takes out hers and they start fighting, and at the same time, Gabrielle realizes the Boss Warlord is the dude she met in the tavern and who was supposed to be her future husband or something. Xena manages to cut the reigns and both warlords fall off. Unfortunately, moments later the women hit some grass and fall out too. Xena is surprised to learn the Boss Warlord is the guy Gabrielle wanna have kids with, but this conversation has to wait as both men attack.

The Father Warlord decides to attack Xena and the Boss Warlord attacks Gabrielle. I mean, they don’t really attack, Cycnus tells Xena he’s going to kill her for what she did and she’s like:

Cynus explains Xena killed his son Stentor in Korinth and Xena explains he wanted all Korynthian prostitutes for himself and she wouldn’t let that happen and… nuh, just kidding. I’m sure when Xena was in Korinth all the ladies belonged to her.

Xena explains Stentor came to her with an offer of peace and it was his own men that killed him. Cycnus, of course, doesn’t believe her and orders his son to kill Gabrielle. But Gabrielle tries to convince the Boss Warlord not to do this. Cycnus, apparently bored, attacks Xena. She fights back and this goes on for a while when suddenly the Boss Warlord stops his father. He explains there’s no need for fight and the father is so angry he attacks his own son calling him coward for not wanting war. The Boss Warlord throws away his sword pledging he will never fight again.

Meanwhile, Darius shows up and gives Xena her chakram she forgot and she manages to throw it at Cycnus stopping him from killing his own son. These two continue the fight, but it’s a really short fight as Xena cuts his belly and he falls down bleeding. The Boss Warlord runs to him only to hear his father mocking him one last time. What an asshole.

The Boss Warlord tells Darius to call his people to make real peace this time so the next scene when we’re in the village we can see the Boss Warlord kept his word and everyone is happy.

Gabrielle walks over to him to talk and they have a lovely chat where she tells him he did a good job by saving lives and he tells her he misses his father although he has no regrets things ended up the way they did. Gabrielle says goodbye and leaves while the Boss Warlord longingly watches her.

The villager who was in charge comes over to Xena to apologize for his behavior and the boys tell her she can’t leave. Xena is obviously sad, because these are really cool kids, but she says she has to. So the little girl comes in and says the first word in a long time “Stay” and everyone is like :O

The kids can’t understand why Xena would leave, it’s not like they’ve known her for two days maybe, but ok, I get it, they’re kids, they need mom. Darius takes Xena to the side trying to convince her to stay, but she says she can’t and maybe one day but not today.

So she leaves and Gabrielle is there, waiting. Xena asks if she ever misses her family and Gabrielle says sure, but not as much when she’s with Xena. Awwww, it’s a really sweet moment, because Gabrielle sees Xena as a part of her family and I’m sure Xena thinks the same about Gabrielle, but, unlike Gabrielle, she still isn’t in a place where she can talk about it so easily. They both leave making fun of Gabrielle horse riding.

So… This wasn’t a terrible episode. But it wasn’t good either. The main plot was ok, I mean, I would change warlords to slavers who wanted peasants to work for them, because why kill people who know how to farm land? It’s more efficient to make them work for you, but ok, I guess some people just want to see the world burn.

What I didn’t like was the lazy writing, plot holes and establishing the supporting characters. I can’t really get attached to a person without knowing their names. The Boss Warlord was pretty cool and he and Gabrielle had a chemistry together. Darius was an ok character, a bit boring, but he’s a single father with three kids living in a small village so he’s life isn’t exactly exciting. Overall, it’s a pretty standard filler episode with some good moments like the chariot chase and the fights, but honestly, this is the episode I usually skip as, to me, it doesn’t establish much. But the Savage Kid was awesome. He’s my favorite in this episode.

P.S. I’m sure the Quiet One didn’t say another word after Xena left. Also, IMDB shows her name’s Sarita, but of course, this isn’t something we’ve learned in an episode at all. Go to Tartarus lazy writers.

5/10

#alyna watches xena #xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle #xwp #xena #lucy lawless #renee o'connor

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