#in my last-last friendships that i ended

[honorablepeachpitt]

I get nervous about the silliest of things. Sometimes there's good reason to it, but at the end of the day, all the fear does it hinder me.

I want to get to know more people, but I keep running from the idea, after how I got out of my past friendships. They were long and beautiful, but strained and toxic at the end. I don't think every relationship ends like that- with someone petering out and then blocking you, or trying to embarrass you in front of their friends- but it does feel...strange.

It's okay to let go of things sometimes. You don't have to try to ruin them first.

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[luxlyric]

zuko

Please reblog and comment on this post so I can get verified on VGen! (It's an art commission site)

I need 100 likes and 5 comments <3

https://vgen.co/luxlyric

dividers by @/cafekitsune

[arachnestwilight]

Big day for autistic people everywhere (it's me, I'm autistic people everywhere).

[veinsfullofstars]

🍭 Kirbtober 2024 Day 31: Darkness 🍭

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Kirby - dressed as a mummy - happily dashing by and carrying Gooey - wearing a purple, star-striped witch hat - on his head, each holding an Invincible Candy and leaving a sparkly trail of other treats in their wake. END ID.)

Happy Halloween!

Previous Day | Compilation | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)

Started on 10/20/24, finished on 10/21/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp

[littlestkoi-n]

the rage I feel when reading Blood of Olympus chapters 45-56 is almost equivalent in magnitude to the absolute joy I experience when reading The Last Olympian chapters 1-23.

remember when percabeth was good? when they meant the world to each other but had other people they cared about (nico, for one. both of them. so much), other worries and other storylines aside from their romantic plot? and when nico's completed arc wasn't repeated for no reason other than to dump more trauma on the youngest character in the series? when background characters were included in the story not for all the unnecessary last minute romantic subplots but because they were fun and fascinating to learn more about? and were actually friends with main characters? remember when grover was percy and annabeth's best friend forever? and antagonists were actually interesting and intimidating and had compelling goals? and the story revolved around friendship and family and loyalty? and death was definite and loss was palpable and battles were thrilling?

yeah. good times.

[glitter-stained]

They call me Jason Todd the way I steal my older brother's friends

[mirensiart]

You know what would be really funny to me about Miphas Grace:

The first time it happens Wilds off in the distance scouting or something while everyone else is setting up camp

Imagine , youre setting up camp when you and everyone around you scream. When it finally passes you look around seeing everyone with no wounds

You start running where you last saw Wild head-

Only to find Wild , no worse for wear , like "Hey Guys :D oh btw , Lone Lynel down south , already got i-" "A FUCKING LYNEL JUST ROAMING?!??!?!! WHATS NEXT , GLEEOKS!??!?" "Weeeellll...."

wild + mipha's grace is such a menace in regards to this au

Like if wild is anything to how I played botw he probably shrugs over dying if mipha's grace is fully charged and if dying is worth it to kill an enemy, like maybe a risky maneuver will give them the upper hand but the outcome is that he dies, he'll def take it

(Which I bet is why twilight has gray hairs already lol)

He def has to stop himself from overusing it and actually be careful in battle so scenarios as the one u just describe don't happen often for the sake of the chain lol

[heffrondriving]

❝ And KENDALL needs to stop talking back to me after everything I say! ❞

[authenticcadence18]

Yall we are actually getting new phineas and ferb this year I just remembered and am feeling like. Giddy, 2010s era joy about it 🥺🥺

[royalarchivist]

Bagi: Everyone can sleep in their own bed. Did you stop to think that Pac went to bed, but he went to sleep... where? In what bed? The same bed as everyone else?

Bagi: [Reading chat] "In Fit's bed" Good answer.

Bagi: Fit will wake up to a better base, there will be plenty of beds and stuff. Dude, I'm going to set up Pac and Fit's room. Here, surrounded by flowers. The beds– my god, they're not exactly the same color, but I won't break any of the others because I think they're Bad's. Next to the flowers... Pac and Fit's beds.

Bagi: Guys, I know a lot. I know everything.

Bagi sets up a little "surprise" for Fit and Pac when the log back onto Realm! 🤫🌹

[starry-bi-sky]

ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.

RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.

(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)

(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")

Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.

and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,

and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!

i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.

Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.

And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.

And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.

there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.

and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.

Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.

and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.

Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.

Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.

Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.

Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.

[cutielatias]

I feel like Chip is a very special friend for Sonic compared to the other companions that Sonic encounter on his adventures.chip seem to have a special place on him.

on that scene sonic says as if chip was protecting him this whole time cuz of the fact of him being the light gaia and chip answers that wasn't him, but sonic himself that made it, but i do think indeed that chip was the reason of sonic not giving up to the dark/ being like the people during the night,but not because of chip protecting him as him being light gaia, but as a friend, chip was on his side even during his night/werehog form, chip was there with sonic during his lowest, chip didn't treat sonic different on his werehog form since chip didn't know/met sonic before, he don't have an idea of how sonic was or suppose to be, so, for him both his day and night version are still him, and that's something that sonic friends don't do, since this version of sonic(werehog) is too different from the sonic that they knew, so they don't even reconizer him or treat him like sonic, even though still him anyway. Doing this adventure and going thru this whole new version/situation together with chip, a friend, made sonic not be consumed by the dark.

Also feel that sonic and chip are very similar, chip just like sonic is a hero, an earth protector, just as sonic, both protect and save and care for the world from the evil, a responsabilite/something that none of sonic friends could understand, none of them carry this duty;something that also make chip friendship so special.

On the scene of adabat temple i feel that what chip meant to say, was that he was scared not because of the temple being "scary", but that he feels that on this temple he would find out who he is, he was scary of what would happen after,cuz after him finding his memory back he wouldn't need to stay with sonic anymore since the reason they were together was to find who he was, chip was scared to end the adventure/lose sonic company and friendship; that's why what sonic says on the night scene is so special "do i need a reason to want to help out a friend?", sonic on this moment confirm to chip that he already consider chip his friend, chip don't need a reason to reach out to him, chip was already his friend;

funny how in the beginning chip was the one scared of ending the adventure and lose sonic, but as the story goes now is sonic being the one insecure about it, the difference being that on sonic is a little more subtle, sonic on the eggmanland scene seem so…indifferent, he doesn't seem to be determined/excited as he was at the beginning even though he's so close to unite all the world parts again and come back to be his normal form (without have to become werehog on the night), sonic is indifferent/scary/sad cuz that's mean that the journey is coming to an end, and that this fight would be the last moments of him and chip, after that, both would go on their separates ways, but even sad sonic still supporting chip, but deep down he didn't want chip to go(and i feel chip notices that, but now chip is the one accepting and sonic is the one struggling) this scene after is almost as if sonic want to say something, but got interrumped by eggman(…if we think, is sad sonic and chip never had a proper goodbye)

before i didn't understand this chip dialogue "sonic, you have to live"(i was like, of course he has to live you can't just let he die!😅) but now i think i understand, chip wasn't talking about "live" on a life and death sense, he was saying that sonic must go on with his life even without him,sonic must keep…living, even if chip is not there anymore, sonic must continuing to live.

Then after when sonic is thrown out of the lava place, he even imagine chip, almost as if sonic was looking out for him, wishing that this was how it end; but chip is not there, the only thing that is, is his bracelet;

"I'II never forget you" "I'II be here by you, always." "A part of the earth you tread"

chip's words of consolation saying to sonic that he is always with him, being a part of the world that sonic lives and protect, when sonic is protecting the earth is as if him and chip were together fighting/doing the adventure and saving the planet, sonic and chip might not be together anymore, but their connection/friendship remains.

chip song("dear my friend") is pretty much very related to all of that, though the song is very related to chip(since the song voice also remind his) i think the song is also about sonic/sonic speaking to chip, no wonder the song image even show both of them, this whole song represents/shows sonic & chip friendship and the game message.

"Good times and bad times, I can count on being with you. I thank you for staying so true (...) And You are my reason I can make it through"

"I know life can be tough on you time and time again laughter maybe gone 'way I will wipe away my tears to-morrow Life must go on, that's the reason that you travel away"

"Just like a river that flows Just like stars in the dark night Lead me in the storm, Lead me in the dark You are the light of my life"

"Memories you can recall With me any time of day You can reach out you can ask me in your soul I will answer when you call me I will come no matter how Cause we are very special friends"

[margareturtle]

I am 100 % sure that in TWP we will get a scene where Ty has to defect from the scholomance on his own side mission and Anush is with him and Ty tells Anush “it’s ok you can stay/go back, you don’t have to take this risk” bc Ty has abandonment issues !! And he doesn’t expect a friend to stick around. But then Anush has a confused reaction to this bc “of course I’m coming, I’m not letting you face this alone” and then Ty is confused bc this whole time he didn’t want to assume that him and Anush were really friends as they could just be schoolmates/coworkers out of necessity— so Ty doesn’t expect Anush to want to follow him outside scholomance stuff especially bc Ty has never had a real friend outside of his family and even Kit as soon as he stopped living with the Blackthorn’s he stopped talking to Ty so Ty doesn’t expect Anush to want to support him and so Ty asks “why would you want to come with me?” And Anush answers “because we’re friends Ty, and I’m not going to leave you.”

[justareallyboredfangirl]

something in me needs needs needs Ekko to tell Jayce that he followed him to Benzo’s shop that day all those years ago

i need a scene where Ekko acknowledges that had he not followed Jayce that day and not told Vi about it that the first explosion would’ve never happened and then everything that followed it

not that I blame Ekko -gods and my specialest boy- but everyone else is carrying a good amount of grief and guilt over the mistakes of their past and i can’t help but wonder if we’re gunna get that from Ekko. …like does he even realize that he knocked over the first domino??

Jayce certainly doesn’t seem to know that his new science partner is the reason his apartment got broken into and exploded and himself expelled and almost exiled. i wonder if he’d be upset about it still or if it was so long ago -and because it led to hextech being fully developed- that he’d just let it go as the past

idk idk idk i have worms in my brain and they’re all freaking out over Ekko and Jayce working together and how their roles in everything that’s happened so far will effect their new partnership going forward