#in my interpretation the coffee is a symbol

[shapeshiftershenan1gans]

No hate to anyone who believes this, but I think the coffee theory is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard in my life!

[l-artemisia-del-secolo]

You almost missed the meeting regarding the new exhibit. You had to validate a few showpieces. Books mostly this time. On one of them... what was it... runes... Red cover with rubies, one could think it was painted with blood itself.

Your own reflection in the stones was teasing you. This object was powerful, it was alluring, it was dangerous. You didn't notice how others left.

You were left with the book in the storage. Who created it and why? You were not new to artifacts of presumed witchcraft. But this... it was different. As if the blood on the cover was instantly flowing changing the shades.

Oh, it was one of those days. Time didn't matter.

"Fascinating, isn't it?"

"Oh yes, it is." You didn't even look up. "Have never seen anything like this."

"Oh, I did. A very long time ago. This book belonged to ruthless people."

"What?"

She was a foreigner in this brightly lit room. Nonchalantly sitting in one of those uncomfortable chairs. When did she come in?

"We need to close the storage. All your colleagues left a few hours ago."

Hours? Really? What was she even talking about? You checked your phone. A few missed calls and messages.

Brunette was smiling at your confusion.

"Have we met before?"

"No, I'm instead of Jeff."

"What happened? I saw him yesterday."

"Oh..." Brunette was kinda lost for an instant. "He had to leave. You know. Another department. My name's Rio".

She stood up and very officially offered you her hand.

"Pleased to meet you. My name's..."

"I know everything about you."

Rio was still holding your hand. Maybe you did see her before. Those green eyes. They were mesmerising.

______

A few days passed. You didn't have time to examine the book, but you kept thinking about it. Weirdly your thoughts were coming back to it. In what circumstances something like this could be created? What was written there?

You wanted to feel that book again. Sharp edges and ancient pages.

From the book your mind wandered to the stranger. You asked your colleagues. They knew Jeff was gone, but who was instead of him - no idea. You wanted to see her again. you wanted to lose yourself in those gentle touches again.

___

A few more days. You were giving a lecture. Confident and charming you were in your element. Until you noticed those green eyes amongst the audience. Rio was catching your every move, your every word.

"You were amazing." Brunette caught you after the class. "Truly a master of your craft."

"Well, I do have a certain area of expertise."

"What a tease."

Oh, now you were definitely blushing.

"I haven't seen you at the museum." You tried to find a more safe subject.

"I was busy with other projects. I'm kinda like a consultant for confused people."

You nodded. Why was looking at you like this? As if expecting something, as if waiting for the answer.

"Well, you did find the time for the lecture."

"I found the time for the lecturer."

"I appreciate both the time and the effort."

"Yeah, you have no idea how determined I can be."

Rio winked at you. She was busy, she had to go. She chose to leave you with just a hint of satisfaction.

"Oh, and the book., It is waiting for you."

____

Rio was right. You had to concentrate on your work. Exhibit was approaching, your input was needed. You were spending more and more time with the remains of the old times. You were spending more and more time with that damned book. Those runes were not known to you. As the symbols. Looked like an interpretation of the maiden-mother-crone myth, but there was a green halo around them.

"You need coffee."

That wasn't a question. With Rio nothing was.

"Thanks." You took a sip "Oh, double espresso. How did you know?"

"Had a feeling, you like it... intense."

"Sure."

"So..." Rio nudged your shoulder to get all the attention she always required. "How is this thing going?"

"Good."

"And this?" She pointed at the book.

"Waiting for the answer from a few colleges."

"Well, I'm sure the answer is going to be fascination. But..." She took your phone and bag without asking. "you need to be someplace else."

___

Why did you even let her command? You just blinked and suddenly you were near an old theater.

"Magic show?"

Rio had tickets for the first row.

"What can I say? I was always fond of illusions."

It was noticeable. She was cheering even for the simplest tricks. She adored theatricality and tension. Except for maybe the tricks that involved cheating death. Yeah, Rio huffed in annoyance a few times.

"Well, this is not how I expected my evening to go."

Street was completely silent. You and Rio were the only ones who decided to enjoy the autumn night.

"I can tell you how all the tricks worked."

Oh, for sure Rio knew.

"It's your hobby?"

"Let's say, I've seen these shows quite a few times."

"That would destroy all the magic part of the performance, don't you think?"

Rio stopped, snapped her fingers and in the other hand a flower appeared.

"Oh, you're smooth." You laughed at the present. "So, you're into tricks."

"No, I'm more into magic."

______

It was a book of protective spells. It was supposed to save from evil and wrong, from hungry and desperate. And not protect, it was supposed to hide from the sight of darkness. Someone was supposed to be hidden in the blood of the killed. You spend hours trying to find the recipient of this protection.

"Well, that's an interesting observation." Rio put her legs on the table. You were having a dinner at your office. "Amazing."

"I'm glad you're happy with my research."

"I truly am. Do you know how those spells are supposed to be activated."

"I assume by the blood of the protected."

"Yeah, guess it could work." Rio shrugged. "Witches were never that imaginative."

It became some kind of a routine. At the beginning you didn't see Rio at all. But now she was always near. With lunches, coffees, books and affection. And whatever she was calling magic.

Rarely you could feel comfortable with someone so close. For years you preferred to be on your own. It just never clicked with anyone. But Rio... she knew you. Your tastes, your dreams, your desires. Her affection was a given, just a fact that you stumbled into. It was a weird feeling. Like you were continuing to live something you never had.

____

"I don't think you're doing it right."

You could feel Rio was close. Her hair was almost tickling your neck. There was no need for her to stay right behind you. But it apparently was the best spot to watch you translating the text.

"You're being a little distractive, Rio."

"How? I'm helping. This sign here. It clearly doesn't mean death."

"Well, that's a woman with a skull instead of a face."

"I'd say she's more about the natural order of things.'

"Maybe."

___

You were working more, you were sleeping less. You were distracted. Your dreams changed, in them you could freely read the spells. Voices without purpose were helping you. Sometimes even Rio couldn't have you all for herself.

"I brought you something."

"Huh?"

Rio was holding a dagger. Black stones, same runes.

"Just don't play with it often."

"Where did you get this?"

"It was here all the time. Kinda lost in the mess."

"Yeah."

You didn't care whether she was lying or not. Was it the other part of the story? Was it the threat or help?

You took it. Heavy with cold and sharp with pain it fit your hand properly.

"Every witch was supposed to have such a dagger." Rio took the knife. "Usually it was carved with the symbols of a greater entity, You know for protection."

She was holding your hand, caressing the palm with the cold of a steel. Still dangerous, still deadly. You didn't dare to look at her movements.

"And what entity protected this blade?"

"I think you know. You read the spells."

You could feel your skin almost succumbing to the blade. But it was so much more unbearable to have Rio so close. She was the perfection itself. You didn't care about the blade, you leaned into her.

"Fuck." you muttered under your breath. But it was too late. Your blood was spilled.

You were her prey, Rio pushed and you and the blade cut deeper, but you didn't care. She was kissing you, she was hurting you.

Dagger fell on the floor. Without breaking the kiss Rio guided your hands to the support of the table. Your wound touched the book.

Suddenly the pain shot through your whole body. You wanted to scream, but Rio didn't let you. Holding you, making you feel her passion, brunette was only deepening the kiss.

You opened your eyes. The room was on fire. Games of the primal flame were everywhere. Everything was melting away. Instead another reality was forming.

You groaned into the kiss. It was familiar. It took all the strength you had to push Rio away. She was breathing heavily.

"What the..." you looked at your palm. It was healed. "What... what happened..."

Those voices were right. Rio. It was all because of Rio.

"It was the only way..."

Her voice was trembling. You heard this already. Her plea, her apology.

"I know you." You took the book from the table. Now those spells made sense. "Rio Vidal."

"I thought... " She was choking on her regret and doubt. "I thought I wouldn't be able to find you."

"I remember..."

Rio gently touched your cheek. You didn't feel it. Suddenly there was a wall with the thickness of centuries.

"My love..."

"It was always you, wasn't it?" Your fingers were tingling. "You were always the reason."

"I don't..."

"They died because of you."

"What? No."

You grabbed her wrist. You were strong, stronger than you remembered. Purple magic was pouring from your veins. It didn't let Rio move.

"Because of you all those people were dead. You attacked innocents."

"No."

"My coven tried to hunt you. And in return you destroyed others."

'"No, no, no. These are not your memories. It's an illusion your coven gave you."

You pushed her. Rio was the plague. You remembered it. Your sisters warned you.

"I will banish you from here."

Rio didn't even think about defending herself. She needed to let you be closer.

You grabbed her by the throat. Rio only obeyed. You needed to cut out her black heart.

You waved and the dagger appeared in your hand. You were calling for your weapon. It returned to the magic that created it. But the second you were ready to swing, it burned you.

You were holding the same knife Rio gave you. It wasn't possible. Your enemy was protecting you.

"No. It's not true..."

Yes, you didn't remember. But what if... you were holding a piece of your old life. Rio was in every cell of your body. How long were you like this? How long were you far from her? You were still washed over by hate. But not because of Rio. No, you couldn't hurt her.

"I can help you..."

You shook your head in disbelief and disappeared in purple smoke.

_____

You didn't know where to go. The life you remembered wasn't yours, just as a life you were living for the last who knew how many years.

Your sisters betrayed you, they were not the only ones. Such strong magic required the assistance of the sorcerer supreme.

It doesn't matter what you were thinking about, you always were coming back to Rio. She saved you, she broke the spell. But if she was the one lying. What if she forged the blade? No, no, not possible. Not your Rio. Your Rio? What these weeks meant for you? Were you in love?

Not only your head, your blood was boiling with magic. You forgot this feeling. You were trying to control the shaking in your hands but it was just getting worse.

"Rio." you whispered.

"Yes, my love."

She appeared in front of you. Her crown was glowing in the dark. No point in playing pretend anymore.

"This blade belongs to me."

Rio nodded.

"You're the entity that is protecting me."

Nod again.

"What happened?"

"They wanted to separate us. They were afraid that you would have special treatment. And with that become too powerful for them to handle."

"Special treatment?"

"Yes." Rio hesitated. "You were the only one who could have my... favor."

"I don't understand."

"You could be invincible. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. You were one of the more powerful wielders of magic. And that was a dangerous combination. So they hid you. Sealed you in the book. It took me centuries to find you."

Your heart was aching. If it was true, your life was taken by those whom you considered family.

"And we..." You blinked away a memory. "Did we ever have a garden?"

"Oh, yes." Rio dared to come closer. "I created a pocket dimension for us. Just us. We could do whatever we wanted."

"I also remember that Rio is not your only name."

She was dreading this moment. For her only hope was left. But for you it was finally the beginning. Not the memories, but affection was guiding you. All those memories of Rio's betrayal. You had to trust your heart. Hate wasn't yours, it wasn't real.

 Yes, it was the truth. It was always Rio. The only thing you wanted was for her to be your reason for existence. And it only could be explained with memories that you couldn't fathom.

You were gravitating towards her. It was easier for you to believe in the ghost of ancient love than lose Rio. Your Rio.

"No, it's not."

For the first time Rio wasn't looking you in the eyes. You had to lift her chin. She was barely breathing, she was barely even functioning, waiting for your sentence. Regal entity reduced to a mortal.

"I'm in love with Rio, but Lady Death..." You pulled her into a kiss. This time your powers entwined with the glow being almost unbearable to be around. "...is a part of me."

"I will help you remember. I will help you return everything they've stolen from you."

"Oh yes." You smiled into her skin. "Right after I punish those who separated us."

[indigovigilance]

A Nightingale Sang in 1941

This is my inaugural meta (yay!) Eventually I will learn how to add gifs and whatnot to make this more interesting but today, I give you a wall of text.

I need to give credit where credit is due to three existing metas that I’m drawing upon heavily here:

A speculative continuation of the 1941 story, which includes an almost-kiss while “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays on the gramophone,

A behavioral analysis of Aziraphale during the S2E6 finale (will find ref later if possible)

A meta-analysis of the way in which “coffee” is used as a symbolic equivalent for liberty and freedom of choice, a running theme of this show (will find ref later if possible)

I’m going to expand upon meta #2 and #3 and explain why I think there is are very compelling reasons to believe that #1 will be canonized.

At the end of S1E6, an instrumental version of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays diegetically, but the lyrical version plays non-diegetically over the credits (we hear it but the protagonists don’t). So we the audience could plausibly say “that’s their song,” but as of the close of S1, we have no reason to believe that they know that it’s their song. Even Aziraphale’s S1E3 (1967) suggestion that they dine at the Ritz could be a reference that only he gets, or just a fancy restaurant suggestion.

So when I was watching S2E6 and Crowley said “no nightingales,” I was jarred. What does that even mean? We know it has something to do with dining at the Ritz, but what does it mean to them? The reference only works if they know it’s their song. But we’ve only ever seen them hear it together after the averted apocalypse; if this is the direct reference that Crowley is making, it leaves our 1967 reference contextless and twisting in the wind.

If we assume that there was a romantic story beat in 1941, wherein “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” (which, incidentally, was written in 1939 and saw the height of its popularity at the end of 1940, so timeline-wise it’s spot-on) became their song, then a lot of events get renewed interpretations through this lens, in a way that makes this story much more cohesive and the “no nightingales” comment even more soul-shattering than it already was.

Let’s presume that immediately after this became their song and just as they were discovering their romantic potential, they were forced back into hiding. Forever after, references to the song serve as a macro for “I’d like to pick up where we left off that night.”

The 1967 suggestion of “dining at the Ritz” now becomes a directly romantic suggestion. It also gives better context for “you go too fast for me.”

Actually going to the Ritz in 2019 is not simply a celebration or even a callback to 1967, it’s a callback to their almost-romance of 1941.

When Crowley says “no nightingales” in 2023, this isn’t to say “we’re not going to eat together at the Ritz anymore.” It’s saying that the romance that began that night, the precious, fragile romance, is over.

I’ll give you a moment to dry your eyes before we move on to metas #2 and #3.

In light that this is what has been going on - they know they want a romantic relationship but have gotten so used to hiding and denying it that they are more comfortable keeping the status quo static and quo-y then trying to achieve their ideal - a lot of S2 behavior can get a fresh view.

Crowley’s reaction to Nina isn’t a realization that he’s in love - he knew that already. You can only ask someone to run away with you so many times before you are forced to admit some things to yourself. No, he’s realizing that trying to hide it (which was justified by survival), hasn’t been working, but despite failing at being stealth nothing bad has happened. He’s realizing that it may finally be safe to show it.

Crowley’s confession, then, is not a revelation. It’s making the subtext text. He’s not telling Aziraphale anything he didn’t already know. He’s saying it now because he thinks he’s safe to do so. Pin in that.

Lots of people have lots of theories about Aziraphale’s motivations in the S2 finale, which can more or less be divided into 4 camps: the genuinely held belief, the coffee theory, the lie theory, and the mutual trick theory (some version of the body-switching at the end of S1). Let me start by saying that I love all the fans and all their theories and I find their analyses to be insightful. The genuinely held belief theory, while I believe it to be erroneous, has been incredibly conducive to so many wonderful conversations and I love being in a community that has those conversations. But I’m going to explain why I think the lie theory finds the most support in canon.

Re-watch the finale (when you feel like you can) from 35:18 to 36:19 and then from 40:45 to the end, paying very close attention to Aziraphale’s words and his eyes. Michael Sheen is telling us a LOT with his eyes, and in the back half of the finale scene, with pacing.

For 60 seconds of footage, this setup is doing a lot of work. If Neil Gaiman wasn’t doing enough to beat us over the head with how evil the Metatron is, that glare at Crowley at the end with the non-diegetic ominous horns should convey the message. But again, focusing on Aziraphale. He initially refuses to talk to the Metatron; he’s made his position quite clear. There is no hint of regret or wavering; this is not someone who’s aching to return to the fold. The Metatron ignores his refusal and functionally forces him to accept a “cup of coffee.” The coffee isn’t spiked, but it is a metaphor. It is symbolic of choice. The Metatron is going to force Aziraphale to make a choice. Meta #3 does a great job of exploring the idea that a choice between anything and death is never really a choice. Hang onto that thought.

Notice I had you start up again 3 seconds before “The Conversation.” That’s because it’s important to note where the Metatron is right now. He is across the street, staring straight in through those giant windows to where our protagonists are about to have The Conversation. He is watching.

When Aziraphale returns, Crowley begins his “let me talk” riff. Aziraphale ought to be interested in what Crowley has to say, since the preamble is pretty compelling. You’ll notice that Aziraphale quickly turns to the window and back, through which he (but not we) can see the Metatron standing there, watching them. Aziraphale is then doing his best to get Crowley to STFU without raising the suspicion of the Metatron, eventually having to cut him off.

Because unfortunately, Crowley’s entire impetus for speaking up now is that it’s safe to do so. Only Aziraphale knows that they are in very real danger (or at least, Crowley is, but I’ll come back to that).

You might take something from the fact that he’s shaking his head while talking about “incredibly good news,” and seems to self-censor his criticism of Metatron (or more specifically, he takes ownership of any criticism of the Metatron, censoring out Crowley’s role in that, with the emphasis on I in “I might have misjudged him”).

Notice in the flashback that he begins the conversation reasonably relaxed. The Metatron also says a series of things about him that not only are false, but everyone, including the Metatron and Crowley, know are false: Aziraphale is not a leader, he’s a defector; he’s not honest, he lies all the time, in fact this entire season revolved around his one huge lie of hiding Gabriel. Not only does the justification not make sense coming from Metatron, but it shouldn’t make sense that Aziraphale would accept these reasons and it shouldn’t make sense to Crowley either. So is Aziraphale including these details in his recounting to Crowley so that he will get suspicious and figure out the jig? Maybe. Let’s continue.

Immediately upon being offered the job of Supreme Archangel, Aziraphale says “but I don’t want to go back to Heaven.” This is direct evidence against the genuinely held belief theory. If returning to Heaven and making a difference was a genuine motivation, we would have gotten a different response at this moment. But then we get something more.

“Where would I get my coffee?”

This is a beautiful response for a number of reasons; coffee should be trivial compared to the opportunity to be a Supreme Archangel, so it serves to highlight just how little interest Aziraphale has in returning. Taken at face value, it’s the Aziraphale equivalent of “not even at gunpoint.” But remember that coffee is a metaphor for liberty in this universe and this season. So what Aziraphale just said, in the language of Neil Gaiman metaphors, is:

I don’t want to go back to Heaven, I would rather have free will.

What does the Metatron do next?

He brings up Crowley.

Watch Aziraphale’s eyes before and after the mention of Crowley. He goes from confused to eye-flicking panic in the space of two syllables. Aziraphale already understands that his “no” is not being accepted, and that bringing Crowley into it can only possibly serve as a threat.

So the coffee, the choice, is a false choice. No one ever orders death. The Metatron has forced Aziraphale into a situation that looks an awful lot like a choice (it comes in a blue cup, after all) but it isn’t.

We definitely have some reliable narrator problems here. I’m going to presume for purposes of analysis that these cut-outs are accurate but incomplete, and that a more explicit threat about what would happen to Crowley if Aziraphale did not return to Heaven was made.

If we assume that Aziraphale has been made aware of a threat and is trying to hide that from Crowley, the rest of this scene reads very differently. Aziraphale cannot say, “you are in danger but you will be safe if you swear your allegiance to Heaven” or “I have to go, no matter what, and the only way we can be together is if you come with me,” but nonetheless he now has to convince Crowley to do the one thing he ought to know Crowley definitely doesn’t want to do all through subtext. Which we’ve spent an entire season establishing that they can’t communicate well when they are allowed to use their words. Disastrously, this is not a magic trick that Aziraphale can make work when it counts. Their failure to practice good communication means that, right now, when it counts most, they are not going to pull it off.

We see that Aziraphale is very hopeful that Crowley will pick up on his cues and play along. Obviously, he doesn’t.

If the whole riff about Hell being bad guys and Heaven being the side of truth and light is taken as genuine, it discards a massive amount of character development that we’ve witnessed in Job, Edinburgh, etc. (again, to all the genuine belief subscribers, I think it’s a compelling argument but it simply doesn’t account for the evidence). So if it’s not genuine, why say it? Again, to alert Crowley that something is Off, because Crowley should know that Aziraphale doesn’t actually believe that. They saved humanity from Heaven and Hell. They hid Gabriel from Heaven and Hell. Crowley knows that Aziraphale knows that Heaven and Hell are just two sides of the same coin. Notice again that Aziraphale glances out the window while he’s talking up Heaven; he knows the Metatron is watching, he can’t not defend the position of Heaven. I think it’s also worth noting that Aziraphale forcefully glances and gestures off to Crowley’s left (away from the window) when talking about Hell, and then turns his head to Crowley’s right (towards the window) to try to get him to realize that a representative of Heaven is literally standing right over there, just look out the window please dumbass!

When Crowley is asking Aziraphale if he said no, and we see the back of Aziraphale’s head, again we can see him turn his head to glance out the window. This is also when he changes strategies, and admits that Heaven could use a little reform. Because now there’s a problem almost as big as getting caught, which is that he won’t be able to get Crowley to go with him.

Which unfortunately makes the next part of this so much more heartbreaking. Because when Crowley begins his speech about being a team, Aziraphale wants to hear it. He can’t bring himself to shut down Crowley again, even though it could get them both in massive trouble. Notice that he glances out the window again during this, and the look of panic on his face. He begins to shake his head when Crowley mentions that Heaven and Hell are toxic; this can be taken a lot of ways but I’ll argue for the interpretation that he’s trying to get Crowley to STFU and stop saying shit that could get him destroyed.

After Crowley puts on his sunglasses we are in the “back half” and Sheen is doing a lot with phrasing here, specifically pregnant pauses.

“Come with me… to Heaven!”

“We can be together… as angels!”

Based on the pacing decision I am thoroughly convinced that the first half of each of these statements is intended to be the message to Crowley and the second half is always a qualifying statement to satisfy the Metatron.

Unfortunately, these pregnant pauses are completely backfiring in their effect on Crowley. The sentiment gives him hope and the qualifying statement crushes it again immediately. He is being taken on a horrible emotional rollercoaster with these declarations which are only further amping up his instinct to run away.

The only truly genuine, unaldulterated statement I think we get from Aziraphale is

“I need you!”

When it becomes clear to Aziraphale that there’s been an irreparable breakdown of communication between them and the subtext is not getting across, he says:

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

He means this literally. Crowley has not understood that Aziraphale is offering him protection from whatever threat the Metatron has made.

Which makes this part extra-devastating and also absolutely in keeping with a major running theme of this season.

“I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

Your understanding and my understanding are different understandings.

Crowley views the offer to return to Heaven through the lens of his trauma. He understands what life in Heaven would be like. But he doesn’t understand that Aziraphale is offering him protection.

But Aziraphale just heard Crowley say that he understood everything, and he’s still going to leave. There might be a little suspense of disbelief here to believe that Aziraphale really interpreted the statement this way, but we know that Aziraphale isn’t always the brightest battery-operated candle in the drawer. So under the assumption that Crowley did understand him and is still rejecting the offer, rejecting him—

“Well, then there’s nothing more to say.”

Please pay very close attention to Aziraphale’s body language for the next part. He’s active, agitated, turning side to side, arms swinging. This is a very fidgety angel.

“No nightingales.”

Aziraphale is now completely still. He’s feeling that feeling. You know it. The one where your entire body is getting sucked into the pit of your stomach. The aching paralysis.

This is their song, the one that began their romance in 1941, the secret code for all other attempts at flirtation. Crowley has walked out on him before, Aziraphale has been stubborn and obstinate before. But they always came back together, sometimes with an apology dance or other rituals that belonged solely to them.

But now the song is over.

By saying this, Crowley has broken up with Aziraphale. We can see in Aziraphale’s sudden transition from fidgety to paralysis that he has understood it this way.

Then he turns away from the window so that the Metatron won’t see him cry.

The kiss was heart-wrenching already. But we’re not done with this analysis.

During the kiss, Aziraphale has a choice to make between two very compelling bad choices. This is the Job dilemma. But worse.

If he doesn’t kiss Crowley back, he will let Crowley think that he doesn’t love him. He will have missed out on this (maybe/probably their first kiss?) and regret it forever.

If he does kiss Crowley back, in full view of the Metatron, they are in deep trouble.

He seems to do his best to split the difference. I would even go so far to say that the awkward arm waving is Aziraphale acting for the Metatron’s benefit, to try to portray that he doesn’t want this even though he absolutely does (just not like this). The anguish when they break the kiss is absolutely real, and the first thing he does is glance out the window. Through all this he has remained painfully aware of their spectator.

He wants to say I love you. He mouths it. He breathes it.

But the Metatron is watching.

He can’t tell Crowley I love you. So he has to say the only other thing that has always unequivocally meant “I love you” when he said it to Crowley. He has to hope that Crowley understands him now, even though he never has before.

Spoiler alert: Crowley doesn’t.

My forgiveness and your forgiveness are not the same forgiveness.

One more point against the genuine belief fans (I love you): if the offer to let Crowley back in is what changed his mind, then Crowley declining removes that incentive. Aziraphale should/would have consequently retreated to his last stated position of “I don’t want to go back to Heaven, where would I get my Crowley—I mean, coffee?” [post-publication nod to @theonevoice for a great little meta] It simply doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

I think a lot of fans were already making these assumptions about the use of the nightingale song so this meta may not feel revelatory, however, it isn’t canon (yet), and I’m sure I’ll find company that agree that canonization of this connection would strengthen a lot of these story points, as evidenced by how it is already assumed by many fans.

If you made it to the end - omg thank you! Please leave a note and tell me your thoughts!

Bonus: somebody already made the song connection here

~~~

if you liked this, you may also like:

Book of Life and what it means for Crowley

The Erasure of Human!Metatron

Baraqiel and Azazel

~~~

Recommended related (lie theory) metas by other people:

making the subtext text by @theonevoice

Aziraphale's Decision Matrix by @yowlthinks

Nothing Lasts Forever: META by @phoen1xr0se

[cozycottagetarot]

What Do They Daydream About You?

How To Pick A Pile:

Everyone has their own technique for choosing a 'pile'. My recommendation is to clear your mind and focus on each image for a few seconds. The image you find yourself coming back to even when you focus on the other images is the pile for you.

Quick notes on this reading:

I'm experimenting with a different style. -- I've been working on shorter, less structured, formal pacs (and some longer ones). I'm not sure how I feel about it but I'd like to hear your thoughts too!

I apologise for any errors. -- My immune system and I have literally been at war for weeks, so know if there are any errors, I probably missed it while wincing in pain. 😅

It's purely for entertainment purposes. -- Don't think I need to explain more. Take what resonates be it all of it, some of it or none at all.

PILE 1

14:44 as I pulled the last card, maybe 444 is of importance to you at the moment. Knight in shining armour vibes. Noble acts or intentions of just sweeping you off your feet. Introducing you to their friends and or family. Daydreams of big celebrations of being with you, internally and externally. For some, they daydream about celebrating the news of having a child with you. Finding peace after long struggles... starting anew with you. Domestic bliss, as in chilling at home with someone you love, not doing much of anything. Or simply enjoying the mundane tasks together. Going for walks. Having a cup of tea or coffee together. Peppering your skin with kisses... maybe physical touch is their love language. The ghost of their fingertips on your skin. Heart-to-heart conversations. Falling into a routine with you. The magic of embarking on new beginnings with you.

PILE 2

North Star Vibes. Holding out hope that they make it to you. Trying to make life better so they can show up for you. They daydream about how you make them stronger, about you being a good influence on them. It's like the thought of you soothes them when they're struggling. Dreaming that happiness is coming in the form of you. Lots of fiery energy. You're a symbol of hope. Rediscovering what they had lost with you. Feels like someone who has been through a lot. Playfulness. Daydreaming about you is embodying those feelings that seem long forgotten. I know I keep repeating the same thing over and over, but I'm not getting anything more than that (even when I go back to the literal meaning of the cards) so I pulled some love messages. There's the cards 'twin flame', 'finding myself' and 'still listening'. My interpretation is that daydreaming about you holds a mirror up to themselves which inspires them to look deeper within and figure out what they want and who they want to be. They could also find solace in music, they may have a song or playlist that makes them feel more connected to you.

PILE 3

If you were drawn to pile 2, consider checking out that pile as well too. 333. The number 3 could hold some sort of significance.

Dreaming of an equal. Someone to keep them balanced and bring a new perspective. They could feel as though (or know) some kind of scrutiny is possible, but they spend their time dreaming of overcoming it. There could be cultural differences or for some it's a matter of being in a same-sex relationship or anything that goes against what may be more commonly accepted. If it's of any significance, the red string of fate (two different decks mention it). Power couple vibes. Being able to maintain a sense of youthfulness in the relationship. Someone who won't try to take advantage of them, who'll push them to be better and vice versa, who'll look out for them. Someone to heal with and understand that they are still healing. They could dream of having a child with you or starting a family in whatever format that may look like to both of you. Daydreams of warmth & protection. Giving and receiving. You could possibly meet at a concert or connect over music.

PILE 4

I did a repull to make sure I was reading the cards right (it was stormy) and the same cards came out after reshuffling (minus one card). I feel like this person has been reborn. Who they were is not who they are now (or when you meet them). They could daydream of being divinely guided towards you. Someone spiritual or religious. At the very least finding a connection with something (a concept) greater than them. Daydreams of being guided towards happiness. They had a teardown and rebuild of who they are. They could be from a different location, you could meet when travelling across a large body of water. It feels like they're dreaming of coming in hot. They're paving the way for their happy ending. Take it as you will, but instead of a 'damsel in distress' (regardless of gender, it's just women on the cards depicting forging on) type of story, it's one of those ones where it's like "you know what, I'll save myself and I'll chase after my happy ending". Actually, I get a-spec vibes as well and that this person could be a platonic love or a strong platonic bond. It could even be you respectively. But the energy is one of being inspired and ever-lasting bonds. A new resolve, coming home to oneself, resting in the knowledge that the future is going to be good because you'll make it so.

[iraot]

Pairing: Zayne x f!reader x Caleb x Sylus ( POLY SHIP ) Word Count: 43,971 Warnings: MxM intimacy, Poly intimacy, tandem blowjobs, dom/Sub dynamics, rugby sylus and caleb, caleb and sylus preestablished, book club zayne x reader, Summary: A chance meeting and four souls find forever after a frat party incident. A/N: I finished this in the span of like a month or so? I can't remember but I finally finished editing it till I was happy. I wrote this for @vesearlee >:3 my pookie. AO3

The second-floor reading room of the campus library smelled like old books and cheap coffee, the kind that promised more alertness than it ever delivered. The overhead lights cast a dim, yellow glow across the long wooden table where the book club had gathered, their copies of The Metamorphosis stacked haphazardly between them. Zayne sat at the far end, half-listening, half-bored, his thumb idly skimming the edge of his paperback while some freshman rambled on about how Gregor Samsa’s transformation was an obvious metaphor for capitalism.

"If you think about it," the kid was saying, pushing up his glasses with the kind of self-importance only a first-year could manage, "Gregor turning into a bug is really just a symbol of how capitalism dehumanizes the worker. Once he's no longer useful, he's discarded. Classic Marxist critique."

Zayne exhaled sharply, barely suppressing an eye-roll. He snapped his book shut with one hand, the movement sharp enough to draw a few glances. "Yeah," he said dryly, leaning back in his chair, "I'm sure Kafka would've been blown away by that analysis."

A quiet chuckle—soft, amused, the kind that wasn’t meant to be noticed but was anyway.

Zayne’s gaze flicked across the table.

She was watching him.

She sat with her chin propped on her hand, elbow resting against the wood, her dark eyes holding a glint of curiosity beneath the overhead light. He recognized her from last week—a transfer student, new to the university. She’d been quiet then, more observer than participant, her gaze moving across the room like she was taking mental notes on everyone. But now, she was looking at him, the corner of her mouth tugging upward like she was holding back a comment.

"You don't agree?" she asked, her voice even but edged with something playful, like she already knew he didn’t.

Zayne tilted his head slightly, intrigued. Most people either nodded along with whatever half-baked interpretation got thrown around or avoided speaking altogether, too self-conscious to challenge the group’s consensus. But she was asking him directly, not in a combative way, but like she actually wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I agree that it's a metaphor," Zayne said, stretching his legs out beneath the table, "but the ‘capitalism bad’ take is kind of the literary equivalent of a microwave meal. Easy, convenient, zero effort."

Her smirk deepened. She tapped a fingernail against the book's spine. "So what's your version? If not capitalism, what do you think the bug means?"

He studied her for a moment, considering. There was something sharp in the way she asked, like she was testing him, checking if he had something worthwhile to say or if he was just being contrary for the sake of it.

Zayne shrugged. "I think it's about isolation. The second he stops being useful, his family stops seeing him as human. It’s not money, it’s convenience. He could’ve turned into a floor lamp and they probably would’ve shoved him in storage just the same."

That won a real laugh from her—short, genuine, the kind that cut through the usual low hum of conversation in the room.

"A lamp?" she repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Zayne said, leaning forward slightly. "Imagine his sister walking in like, ‘Sorry, Gregor, but you’re a lamp now, and Mom says we need the outlet for the vacuum.’"

She grinned, and for a brief moment, the entire room seemed to shrink, the background noise fading under the weight of that expression. It wasn’t just amusement—it was recognition. Like she understood the way his brain worked, the way humor curled around his observations, and she approved.

"That’s bleak," she said.

"That’s Kafka," he countered smoothly.

READ THE REST ON AO3!

[accio-bagel]

✧ MC Intro Post ✧

I finally filled these out for my lil criminal 💚

Explanations & more info (ramblings) + her presets below the cut for anyone interested.

✧ Family ✧

Does not talk about it. Will either be evasive about her history or outright lie about it if asked. An only child born to parents who didn’t want her, and when it became apparent she had no magic they they cast her out as a Squib. Hadn’t spoken or seen them since, and has no idea whether they're alive or not. Never fitting into the wizarding world or muggle society, she always dreamed of a better life for herself - the life she was supposed to live at Hogwarts.

Struggling to take care of herself after being abandoned by her family, she resorted to petty crime to survive, then more often upon discovering she was rather good at it. At age 15, her first accidental magic outburst involved a chase with authorities after pressing her luck one too many times, resulting in Fig finding her on the streets of London, panicking after she'd suddenly turned a policeman into a chicken. Professor Dad Fig took her in during the summer before term began at Hogwarts.

✧ Patronus ✧

Some associations with crows: gregarious, intelligent, creative problem-solvers, mysterious, deceptive, mischievous, manipulative, intuitive, and adaptable. Symbolic of community and loyalty, change and transformation, magic and the supernatural. Conflicting interpretations as harbingers of death or omens of fate, destiny, and good luck. They never forget a face, and will reward those who help them or may punish those who harm them. I also couldn't resist the connection between crows' habit of stealing and collecting shiny objects, and of course a flock of crows is called a Murder. 

✧ Classes ✧

She loves learning magic now that she's got the opportunity. Strives to do well at Hogwarts and wants to impress her professors and peers. Open-minded about magic of all kinds.

Charms is her absolute favorite, the most useful and enjoyable form of magic for her. Defense follows closely, as she's got an innate gift for dueling and developed a bit of an ego about it - especially enjoys teasing Sebastian about kicking his ass. Ever pragmatic, she also knows how important the subject is and wants to add to her repertoire of spells.

It's not her strongest subject naturally, but she loves Potions. She can follow a recipe well and works hard at it. While she finds Garreth's experiments interesting and doesn't mind stealing for him, for her own self-preservation she doesn't ever sit at his station, nor will she risk Sharp's wrath again by stealing from his office. Everyone knows she is Sharp's favorite student by the year's end, though he denies it.

History isn't uninteresting to her - it’s just Professor Binns is too boring for her to stay awake through class.

✧ Personality ✧

😉 Charismatic and persuasive, comes across as highly confident (faking it til she makes it.) She isn't shy about walking up to talk to someone she finds interesting, loves spending time with a small group of friends, and prefers a partner in crime on her adventures. That said, she is quite independent and needs plenty of alone time to think and recharge.

🧠 She prefers efficient, not lazy. She's highly active with her chosen activities and will take the lead naturally, but it has to be worth her while for her to put in the effort. She'll also take nearly any advantage given to her, especially in high-stakes situations.

💁🏻‍♀️ She wishes she were stylish and tidy, but it doesn’t come naturally and she hasn’t got the time (would rather get the extra 10 minutes of sleep in the mornings.) She starts the day looking relatively put-together, but you'll usually see her looking disheveled from running around, waistcoat askew, hair coming loose, boots dirty, possibly a bit banged up from her adventuring. Leaves half-drunk cups of coffee lying around the RoR and laundry on her dormitory floor. Handwriting is atrocious, she uses an enchanted quill to make her essays legible.

😾 Not that grouchy but can't say she's very nice, either. She isn't taking on extra tasks just out of the kindness of her heart - she needs to get paid or receive something else in exchange. Snarky and sarcastic, somewhat selfish, mocks/teases/messes with people (told Zenobia she’d keep her gobstones, then said jk lol, and gave them back.) Anger issues rage blackouts when pushed to her limit. She's got soft spots though - especially for animals/beasts, orphans, and freckles. Will do anything for her closest friends even if she gives them a hard time.

🤔 Generally weighs the risks of what she's getting herself into before acting. Stealthy and strategic, usually likes to silently petrify a few enemies to even the odds before taking on a group. She's prioritizing protecting herself and her friends rather than foolishly charging into unnecessary danger, balancing out her more reckless companions. Again, if one of her loved ones is in danger she won’t hesitate to dive in and help them.

😏 Mischievous, jokes a lot, a bit silly. Likes breaking rules. She's made many a daring escape with a smile on her face, will turn to her mates and laugh together once they've made it out alive. Taunts and goads her opponents in duels to throw them off. While very capable of deep thoughts and feelings, she covers hurt with humor and doesn’t often let it show.

🏃🏻‍♀️Athletic. Fast runner and climber, she regularly outpaces Sebastian “out-of-breath” Sallow on their outings. An evasive and agile fighter, swiftly dodging all over the place before striking. Quick on a broom, joins the Quidditch team in sixth year as Keeper (and acknowledges the irony here.) Has her clumsy moments when she's not paying attention or had too many Butterbeers, accidentally breaking a vase at the bottom of the stairs in the Slytherin common room on more than one occasion.

✧ Extras ✧

Scent: green apple and lilac

Bisexual who flirts with everyone, to the point that it's hard to tell when she actually means it. No time to properly court anyone during fifth year but she has many fleeting fancies and won't readily admit to real feelings. All of this inevitably leads to confusion on all sides.

Goes insane for the food at Hogwarts after years of barely scraping by, eating stolen food and scraps. Always snacking to keep her energy up with how much running around she does. If she misses a meal, something is very wrong. 

Funny (at least she thinks so) and uses humor as a coping mechanism.

Loves cats. Pets all the cats.

Loves puns and will give a genuine laugh at a particularly good one.

Constantly running late, much to the chagrin of all her friends.

Drinks like a fish and smokes an occasional cigarette. Swears like a sailor.

Likes to dance but isn't very good at it.

As Sharp says, Wiggenweld doesn't fix everything, so I imagine her gaining quite a few permanent scars over the course of her fifth year. Significant mentions are a cut brow courtesy of Rookwood and some burns on her body from Solomon.

After her hair was partially singed during the battle with Ranrok, she cut it short for a drastic change.

Girl is not doing very well after everything she went through, especially losing Fig. Not sleeping, not eating enough, and prone to thousand-yard stares. She will need time to heal, plus a lot of help from her new chosen family.

✧Future ✧

Ellie is very ambitious and she knows her strengths. She wants to live up to the reputation she's built for herself as a powerful witch, and wants to be known for more than what she went through in her fifth year. Taking time to make a name for herself as a Curse Breaker, she'll spend several years in the field before coming back to Hogwarts as Charms Professor when Ronen retires.

💚 If you have read any of this, I love and appreciate you so much! I have more to say about her but this was already too long so maybe I’ll do a part 2 or something.

✧ Presets ✧

5th Year:

6th Year changes:

[sweetvixen1996]

Kiss the Villain, Moodboard Picture Analysis: Part Eight (Hands: 24/90)

Fun Fact about hands, they are one of the hardest things to draw. There are a lot of moving parts and segments to them, and when you don't get them right, people can always tell -even if they can't always explain what is off about them. Of course, these are photos we're discussing, but my point is that the hands are probably the second most expressive part of the human body after the face. And so I think these photos can give us some interest insight.

I know nothing about watches, but this looks like a nice one. I feel comfortable at saying this is definitely Kayden. These are a grown man's hands, strong and a bit more weathered than a young man's. The figure here is also straightening his shirt cuff, and Kayden strikes me as someone who'd be meticulous in his appearance.

This is certainly Gareth's. The hands and what we see of the face is much younger and softer. And the clothing is much more rumpled and dissuaded. But he also seems to be wearing a watch, though one that is far more feminine in design. Also, fun fact, while in most Western cultures, the wedding and engagement ring is worn on the LEFT ring finger, in Russia (along with Germany and India) they are worn on the RIGHT ring finger.

What is with all these watches?

The interesting thing about this picture is that it's hard to tell who is embracing who. If it is Kayden embracing Gareth, then this is an image of a somewhat possessive affection that Gareth is hesitant to allow -hence, the one of one hand instead of both to cover the embracer's hand. But if it is Gareth embracing Kayden, then it's possible to read unequal interest into this photo, i.e., Gareth is going all in while Kayden is less committed.

I actually find this picture rather sweet. Compared to a lot of the other photos, this one is softer and less... sensual in nature. Judging by the coffee and what seems to be the marble surface of a kitchen's island, this seems to depict a cute moment between Kayden and Gareth one morning.

This is a strange one, but what I think is happening is that the smaller, younger-looking hand (Gareth's) is grabbing onto the larger hand (Kayden's), which appears to be static between the two images with, I believe, the intention of pulling that person up. And, judging by the rural background, maybe Gareth and Kayden were having a picnic date?

Another odd one, to the point I considered saving it for another analysis set. But here are a couple of interpretations of what this could mean:

Hands covered in black paint are sometimes used to symbolize a sense of darkness, negativity, corruption, or involvement in something sinister within someone; often as an element of their personality they don't like and try to hide. However, it can also represent a loss of control, being stained by wrongdoing (either their own or someone else's), or a deliberate attempt to obscure one's actions. We know that Gareth is forcing down his darker impulses and may see them as stains on his own soul.

The idea of black-painted hands also has some relation to criminal activity, particularly when associated with gang culture or a "black hand" extortion scheme. Gareth, through the Heathens and his family's connection to the mafia, has plenty of criminal ties -though not as openly as the others. However, we also know that Kayden is involved in criminal activity. What kind though, is still a mystery.

Finally, it can sometimes relate to money or payment -usually for something illicit or illegal. If this is a case, I think this is referring to Kayden. Gareth is almost certainly a trust fund baby and doesn't need extra money. However, if we take the line in GoF about Gareth stalking a Mercedes as being about him following Kayden, that raises the question of how he affords such a fancy car.

At first, I thought this set of images was really cute... and then realized the sequence of events. What I think is happening here is that Gareth puts Kayden's hand on his heart, perhaps to symbolize his growing feelings for the man or the desire to have a more serious relationship, only for Kayden to push Gareth's hand down -seemingly rejecting him. If we consider that a lot of the songs on the playlist are about uneven relationships and people being used by their partners, it makes me feel very sad for poor Gareth.

[nabi-unveiled]

I've read your analysis about when their attraction started and the coffee™, and it got me thinking that after they saw the statue they did something we haven't seen Hagiwara and Kaori doing on camera. (correct me if I'm wrong) but they never eat together. when one invites to other they say they've already eaten, they both eat out or eat alone etc, they are never in sync. even when they are having lunch with friends, they sit at different tables. In contrast, right after the leads see the statue, they go to eat together! and hagiwara invites sei to eat together next time too!

we see sei and fujisawa eating together only once I think, but fujisawa leaves before finishing, so sei is left to eat alone...

it all comes back to the email "are you talking about food?" (even sei compares the way hagiwara grills the meat with how he has sex lol)

Wait! after seeing the statue is not the first time they eat together, they do it at the work dinner hagiwara organized! hagiwara follows sei and sits with him, so as your post said it can be related to the fact that it didn't start at the museum for hagiwara.

Symbols are sometimes hard to interpret.

For example, there is something about Hagiwara and fingers. I'm still thinking on that. Regarding coffee, there IS a coffee maker in Hagiwara/Kaori's place. What does that mean? Kaori DOES sometimes have a cup/mug near her (in their early relationship flashback and when she's being more friendly with Hagiwara). There's a cup near her in episode 6 during the breakup. We never see her drink it though. If we see coffee as intimate connection, then it's there but never fully enjoyed. Plausible. Not as concrete/certain. So everything doesn't ALWAYS have a clear symbolic purpose.

However, with regards to food - you are correct.

Food is never just food in this show.

Eating food TOGETHER is a symbol of a deeper, more intimate connection. There's plenty of evidence to support that analysis.

Kaori and Hagiwara NEVER eat together. They sometimes make food FOR each other, but they don't eat together. Not even in flashbacks.

In episode 1, they share a beer. This is as close as they get to eating together. Hagiwara makes fried rice. Kaori had already ate the free snacks at work.

In episode 2, Hagiwara is eating toast. Kaori comes in to get herself yogurt. They never sit down together. There's also the BBQ with friends. Hagiwara grills the meat. However, they don't sit at the same table.

In episode 3, Kaori makes the rice balls with plum. Kaori doesn't eat. She mentions eating with Ayako. He eats the rice ball while e-mailing Sei. Wait a second....that's interesting.

In episode 4, they have the party at Ayako's house. Kaori is shown stirring the pot and Ayako plates the soup and beef. However, nobody is shown eating at all. Kaori goes to buy horseradish. Since I used to study the chemical properties of horseradish, my brain goes in science mode there instead of symbols. Sorry.

In episode 5, Kaori is eating at home. Hagiwara already ate out with a client.

Sei and Fujisawa DO share some meals together. They prepare some food together, they eat together, and they clean together. But it's more complicated than that.

In episode 1, Sei is cooking alone while e-mailing Hagiwara. He later cooks together with Fujisawa while discussing the two types of women. We never see them eat the meal though.

In episode 2, Sei and Fujisawa ARE eating together. Fujisawa thinks about something for work and leaves partway through.

In episode 3, Fujisawa offers Sei fruit and yogurt. Sei refuses. Neither of them eat.

In episode 4, they are cleaning up the dishes. The dishes are very clean already. Clean + Fujisawa = possible symbol. My first thought was this was a production choice and not a symbol. I was probably wrong though. This is right before the squeezing of the toe. There might be something to say in that as the show progresses, there's less and less ACTUAL food shown between these two. We haven't seen them with actual food since BEFORE the party when Hagiwara/Sei eat together. You could interpret this as the connection is no longer filling. A stretch, but plausible.

In episode 5, there are no food interactions for them.

Hagiwara and Sei eat together frequently (in show terms).

In the show intro (starting in episode 1), Sei eats pasta. Hagiwara doesn't eat. They are shown with beer and water. They are shown separate but visually together at the table.

In episode 2, they eat together at the party. Hagiwara is responsible for this interaction. He follows Sei to sit at a table with just the two of them. Sei actually finds out a little about Hagiwara during this interaction. Sei made it about work, but Hagiwara told Sei a bit about his girlfriend here. This IS before the museum.

In episode 3, they are shown on screen cooking simultaneously while e-mailing. They're not in the same space, but they are shown to be in sync. Sei has ramen. I've been told that Hagiwara is making rice.

In episode 4, they eat dinner together. It's a very intimate and personal conversation. They take turns grilling the meat.

In episode 5, they both eat bread together the morning after sex. Sei eats a baguette (a leaner bread), and Hagiwara's looks like a sweeter bread to me. However, I absolutely do NOT know enough about bread to confirm that.

That's 3 counts of actually eating together + 2 counts of visually eating together. That's if you count the intro scene. I do.

Basically, Sei and Hagiwara eat together EVERY episode from 1-5 (with episode 1 being the least concrete). If eating food together is a sign of intimate connection, then they are the ones that have it. They finish their meals together too. No one leaves mid-meal.

Note: There's no food at all in episode 6

Guess that's one more symbol/parallel to add to my personal wish list for the finale. Is it Thursday yet?

The fact that I could write up this post without rewatching a single episode is a bit scary. Lol. For those that want to read it, here's a master list of metas. I'll keep updating it as I add new posts.

[silvertear1108]

WITCHY world:

- terms and definitions, examples and information in general; "beginner friendly"

- Witches are human beings whom practice witchcraft. It takes a lot more than simply doing spells, it takes a lot of studying and learning about yourself before you can cast a spell as well as call yourself a witch. It is about your connections and place in the universe as well as about learning how to work with natural cycles and the flow of the universe. Here are some types of witches: sea, crystal, moon, green, grey, lunar, elemental, technology, astrology, kitchen, electic etc.

There are many things to be mentioned, explained and all, but we won't get too deep into it this, time. You can follow my blog and stay tuned for me.

Add me on instagram as well if you want to be up to date for my free tarot readings as well as astro consultations. From time to time I will be live on IG doing free one question read, both astro and tarot.

IG: (click on it to follow)

reina.priestess

Tools used by witches:

The Athame - tool of the element fire or air

The Bell - tool for invocation

Cauldron - tool of the element water

Censer - tool of the element air

Chalice - tool of the element water

Pentacle - tool of the element Earth

Wand - tool of the element Fire or Air

Familiars:

spirit beings that witches make a pact with.

Pacts include: exchange for offerings, lending of power, protection and companionship.

Familiars are not permanently bound to their witch. You may have many familiars in your lifetime. They can also shapeshift and appear differently during their time, with their witch.

Task they perform: spying, companionship, protection, knowledge, aid, travel between worlds, assisting a witch develop their abilities.

Offerings: energy, a foothold in our realm, spirit, milk, honey, incense, various food items.

You should of course research whom you are working with, be it an animal familiar, deity or whomever.

SOME TERMS:

CONJURATIONS = in traditional and most contemporary usage refers to a magical act of invoking a spirit, or using incantations or charms to cast a magical spell ( it is used as a term of casting spells in some magical traditions, such as Hoodoo. )

INCANTATION = series of words said as a magic spell or charm.

GROUNDING = an ancient custom and essential to successful spellwork.

In many Pagan traditions, grounding, centering and shielding are techniques that form a basis of energy work and eventually, of magic itself.

ASTRAL PROJECTION = also known as " astral travel" is term used in esotericism to describe an intentional out of body experience, that assumes the existence of a soul or consciousness called an "astral body" that is separated from physical body and capable of traveling outside of it throughout the universe.

GRIMOIRE = (book of spells) is a textbook of magic, typically, including instructions on how to create magical objects like talismans and amulets, how to perform magical spells charms and divination, and how to summon or invoke supernatural entities such as: angels, spirits, deities and demons.

TASSEOGRAPHY = divination method that interprets patterns in tea leaves, coffee grounds or wine sediments.

THEOSOPHY = (" Divine Wisdom") an occult religious movement established in United States in late 19th century. They teach about God and the world based on mystical insight. They promote unity.

AKASHIC RECORDS = compendium of all universal events, showing people who access it, their past, present and future selves (all which ever existed or are about to exist).

ANCIENT THEBAN = witches alphabet (has less letters than an english one, so some symbols are repeated.)

COVEN = gathering of at least three witches who come together to practice witchcraft.

BALEFIRE = An open fire, usually used in a ritual or spell and they are lit during pagan festivals.

Be careful and research a lot before you do any kind of spell work or anything. I am writing my own shadow book since 2020 and I am researching even to this day and I have never tried doing any kind of spell.

Of course If you want, feel confident or generally feel the need to do them, do the protection spell first and start from a more simple ones.

Good luck and take care, I hope you found my blog interesting and that you will follow me for more.

I am posting interesting things and you can even give me an idea on what you want next.

Add me here as well;

IG: reina.priestess

[gumnut-logic]

Thoughts on Tracys

Well, I did dig into my fic folder and did find the ‘Thoughts on Tracy brothers’ fic and yeah, I left it at just Scott. Sorry. Must see if I can continue that one at some point now that I even know it exists.

But I did find something else. This is me in early 2020, before Covid hit, fortunately, as I had an infected foot at the time and could barely walk.

-o-o-o-

I was re-reading part of my Kermadec fic and encountered the bit where Scott comes across the hot spring and it occurred to me the difference between Scott and Virgil as to how they interpret their environment. This led me to thinking about characterisation and point of view and how you write a character to sound like themselves. Then, because I’m lying idle around the house with a mild headache and a bung foot, I pondered how each of the five brothers might interpret the same scene. I sat their idly constructing scenes in my head and how this might illustrate how a character thinks.

So, now because I’m still sitting around the house with a mild headache and a bung foot, I thought I’d give this exercise a go...cos actually writing one of my many wips would be far too logical ::headdesk::

Anyways, five brothers, same beach, same time of day. Let’s see if I can make them sound like themselves....and not end up writing another wip :D Note: these scenes are separate and unrelated to each other...just flotsam my brain threw up. Guess which brother is which?

-o-o-o-

His running shoes hit the sand hard, gouging holes in the pristine surface. The air was still and clear, the ocean quiet, his breathing drowning out the sound of the waves. This was his third lap, but his first step onto this beach. He usually avoided this patch of sand because it was Virgil’s favourite and often the place his brother came to be alone. But today was a day that wouldn’t see Virgil outside the villa. Not today, not tomorrow, not for some time at all.

His breathing lost its regular pace and he had to force himself to concentrate harder on his rhythm.

His feet hit the sand and he kept on running.

-o-o-o-

There were times being a brother of the commander of this outfit really sucked.

One foot after the other. Scott may feel exuberant at this time of the morning, but honestly, this time should not exist.

He was only awake because the smart ass had called a drill. God. He ran a hand through his hair and guzzled the coffee that was automatically poured into his face.

He swore Scott did it because of his comment about Thunderbird One’s erotic symbolism yesterday. But hey, he was the one who had compared Two to a pregnant turtle.

Turtles lay eggs, you idiot.

But that hadn’t been enough, so he’d resorted to a dick joke.

And had been dragged out of bed at 5am.

Ergh.

His staggering finally led him to the beach and the moment he stepped onto the sand, the breeze caught him and brushed away his frown.

A sigh fell from his lips and he closed his eyes.

The sounds of the ocean caressed his ears and washed away the aggravation. The calm seeped into his bones and his shoulders dropped.

But he kept his grip on his mug of coffee.

Another sip.

Another grateful sigh.

And a plan began to form.

-o-o-o-

Before he knew it the sun was peeking over the edge of the planet and the stars were fading.

His butt and back were damp from lying on the sand.

There was dry seaweed in his hair.

He reached up and untangled the mess, frowning as it caught and pulled. Ow.

It wasn’t often he used a beach for stargazing, but he hadn’t had the energy to climb the stairs to the observatory and to be honest, he wasn’t looking for a specific event, more just comfort in the familiar.

He had come out here in the early hours, his circadian rhythm still slightly off and done his best to connect with what he loved.

He had forgotten the inconveniences of sand, mosquitoes and was that a crab?

He shifted his leg out of reach and clambered to his feet.

The sun flashed everything gold, including him.

A sigh and he turned to walk back to the house.

-o-o-o-

One of the advantages of living on your own secret tropical island is that he could run around in whatever clothes he wanted and not have to worry about what the public might think.

A pair of flip flops and his swimwear, mostly because it was just after his morning laps. Specimen bags in hand, he headed down to the beach to check on the morning’s finds.

The ocean was still puking up stuff from the storm that passed to the south of the Island two weeks ago and he was making sure to check the beaches every morning to see what treasures might surface. One of the things about cyclones is that they churned the ocean as much as the land and often interesting things appeared with the tide as a result.

Fortunately the storm hadn’t actually hit the Island itself and the beach was on the protected side, otherwise there may have been no beach left to comb. This time the conditions were perfect and he wasn’t going to miss out on the opportunity.

Clambering around the Island in flip flops would probably earn him several frowns from several quarters, but to be honest he didn’t care.

From the moment his feet hit the sand, he was discovering and cataloguing. Three different types of sponge all seen before. A nasty chunk of the rare kelp from that isolated patch to the south, damn. An array of shells of which one he was unable to identify. He grabbed that one for identification purposes and one other simply because it was pretty and he knew a brother who might like it.

He found the waves tossing about a large chunk of broken coral and he swore. Damn. Cyclones were nasty to reefs and they took eons to repair.

The worst find was a relatively small mola mola. The young sunfish looked like it had been caught up in an argument between the surf and the volcanic rocks of the island.

He carefully picked it up and placed it in a bag, commemorative words for a life lost passing through his mind as he sealed it tight. Size and details would be sent to the NZ DoC south of their island for research purposes.

Reaching the end of the beach he turned back and trailed his feet in the water. A glance at the rising sun and he headed back.

-o-o-o-

He bounded onto the beach and kicked the sand with his foot. This was so unfair! Why couldn’t he do what everyone else was doing?

He stomped his feet into the sand and took some satisfaction in the deep divots his feet left behind.

The water was whispering as if to herald the rise of the sun.

He didn’t like it.

It mocked him.

Why? Why? Why?

The question bounced around his head and just fuelled his anger.

There was a roar and the island shook as behind him Thunderbird One leapt into the air. Further in the distance he heard the deeper rumble as Two ignited her rear thrusters and a moment later the great green ‘bird appeared over the palm trees and shot off into the distance, Thunderbird One darting down to escort her.

Both were lit up by the sun.

His heart was caught between pride at the sight, and the anger that he wasn’t with them.

As they disappeared in the sunrise, he glared after them.

-o-o-o-

Okay, that exercise did not go exactly the way I had planned, but I hope you enjoyed these little snippets. I hope you can tell which bro is which. I haven’t really gone to any effort to hide them and I’m kinda hoping it is obvious. Maybe take note of the bits of information that give it away?

Or which bros I’m better at writing, maybe :D

Fun to write. I hope they are fun to read.

::hugs you all::

Nutty

(Yeah, well, my brain is weird, I can’t help myself)

[the-coffee-fandom]

❀。• *₊°。 ❀° 。。° ❀ 。° ₊ * •。❀

Hanahaki Hours

❀。• *₊°。 ❀° 。。° ❀ 。° ₊ * •。❀

Calendar by @the-coffee-fandom and inspired and encouraged by @boldlyanxious. Day Eight inspired by and dedicated to @tree-reads.

Welcome back to Hanahaki Hours! Hosted in the month known for its showers bringing flowers: May!

A week dedicated to a popular trope, Hanahaki Disease, which came along August 9th, 2008. It's a fictional disease in which a character coughs up flowers which grow inside them from unrequited love (or other creative interpretation).

How you use the prompts is up to your own creative interpretation! You can use the quotes, flowers, word, or all of them! Do one day, do the entire week, do a poem, a piece of art, drabbles and incorrect quotes, or even just a quick doodle. Have fun with it!

Need inspiration? Don't feel like researching flowers? Flower Symbolism has been premade! Slightly different from last years! Click here for the full list or click here for a master list if you only want one specific flower!

Open to any fandom, ship, pairing, or otherwise to use!

Tags for Tumblr:

#Hanahaki Hours 2024 #Hanahaki Hours

Tags for Ao3:

Hanahaki Hours 2024 Hanahaki Hours

the-coffee-fandom's Hanahaki Hours

Ao3 Collection:

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Flower_Hours

Tag @the-coffee-fandom and reblog for others to see too! I will reblog any I'm tagged in!

Please feel free to reach out to @the-coffee-fandom however you'd like if you have any questions! Especially if you need more information on flowers.

Remember that if the days don't match your schedule, you can do these at any time! Collection stays open and prompts are always available!

Written out prompts below the cut!

May 7th:

Quote: "We don't all have happy endings."

Flower: Poppy

Word: Revival

May 8th:

Quote: "I'd like to stay here. With you."

Flower: Daisy

Word: Pastel

May 9th:

Quote: "Don't you think it's time to stop?"

Flower: Forget Me Not

Word: Fade

May 10th:

Quote: "They're my home."

Flower: Sage

Word: Keep

May 11th:

Quote: "If you leave now... that's it, you know."

Flower: Wolf's Bane

Word: Verse

May 12th:

Quote: "It's morning."

Flower: Avens

Word: Ice

May 13th:

Quote: "Cut it."

Flower: Peony

Word: Catch

Substitutes:

Quote 1: "I've never seen anything as beautiful as your eyes."

Quote 2: "I want to hear pretty lies."

Flower 1: Orchid

Flower 2: Narcissus

Word 1: Venom

Word 2: Arrival

Previous Calendars:

2023

[frangipanilove]

Hello, I’ve asked this question to a few TD theorists before and was wondering your thoughts. I still don’t feel like I’ve received a solid answer on this it seems to be overlooked by most of you. I don’t mean this to be an insult but I do think it’s particularly important. Emily appears to be in LA and we know Season 3 is filming and has been for a month now. She posts almost everyday on social media mostly Instagram stories. She tags LA places she is at daily such as concert venues, restaurants, coffee shops. It’s also obvious when she is filming at her place in LA she films in the same spots and it’s easily identifiable for anyone who looks at her daily posts. I know Emily was at a Manchester and French con but so were many other actors that are dead or aren’t on any of the other spinoffs. She was also only there for about a week or so. She even has a concert scheduled in LA tomorrow. I guess my question is how can we continue to ignore Emily’s whereabouts? She isn’t in Europe when they are filming for a show we are saying she’s going to be on. Symbolism in a show means nothing when the person we need to be filming is not filming.

Hi friend! I just want you to know I don’t take your question as an insult, it’s a perfectly valid thing to ask. And right off the bat, I doubt I’m going to have an answer for you that is more satisfactory than the ones you’ve received in the past, and I’m sorry about that.

Being in TD definitely does have an element of blind faith to it, there’s no way around that. When I place such high emphasis on the symbolism of the show, it’s because I really do interpret it as a story of Beth’s resurrection. Having said that, the exact details of when/where/how are almost impossible to decipher. We’ve been wrong in the past and will probably be wrong again, in a variety of different ways.

In previous asks, I’ve talked about how the TV industry has changed so much in so little time. While I don’t have any type of inside information into that, I can imagine that plans that originally looked one way might have been scrapped due to unforeseen changes, such as the show ending, the Rick movie trilogy tuning into a limited mini series, other spinoffs etc. It’s stuff that no one really could have foreseen just a short while ago. I’ve also speculated that perhaps it was Emily herself who wasn’t ready to return due to mental health issues which she opened up about on social media a few years ago. Again, I want to stress that I don’t necessarily have a solid theory on that, it’s just one of a million legitimate possible explanations for why she still hasn’t returned.

You mentioned the Manchester con. While I enjoy reading other people’s theories on things like that, it’s not really something I personally pay much attention to. For starters, I don’t follow the actors’ schedules particularly closely, so chances are I don’t even know these things before someone else writes about it. While she technically could combine these types of things with filming, I think it’s entirely possible to film even without these events as “cover”. MMB spent time in Paris being locked up in a hotel while filming TBOC, and I believe that’s possible for others as well. If that’s what they need to do, they’ll find a way to do it.

So you say that Emily spends her time in LA at the moment, and that’s worrying for everyone who wants to believe she will be returning to the show. I agree with that, I would have loved to see something suggesting she was off somewhere filming.

I’ve got a couple of things to say to that. First, while I believe and hope she’ll return for s3 in Spain. I’m not locked on to that. There are other spinoffs, filming other places, such as Dead City. Hypothetically she could return there. @wdway theorizes that she might return in a potential season 2 of Tales of The Walking Dead. She could also appear in any of these shows in the form of a flashback or flash forward of some kind, and she doesn’t need to be in Spain to film that.

Something else I’ve been thinking about lately, which might not be a popular opinion but I’ll share it nonetheless, is that her role in the show might look different than we first thought when we joined TD. I’ve already mentioned the rapidly changing TV industry. When I joined TD almost a decade ago, the mothership TWD was a massive enterprise, with 16 episodes per season. There was infinite room for an elaborate, well fleshed out Beth/bethyl storyline.

Now, not so much. I’ve watched the leaked episodes of TBOC, and while I won’t spoil anything here, I will say that it’s only six episodes, and not even very long ones at that, and it’s super condensed and action packed (it’s a great show though, I loved it). There’s simply less room for the type of storyline we anticipated when we first stated theorizing. I’m not spoiling anything when I say that TBOC is full of Beth callbacks and Beth dialogue parallels (I’ve already written about it here and here, and rest assured there’ll be more posts, because holy mother of pearl…). But I think we should probably adjust our expectations in terms of how big of a role she will play when she returns, at least for the foreseeable future, simply because there are so few episodes per season.

And finally, as I always say, I don’t watch the show exclusively with Beth in mind, I’m a fan of the entire TWDU, and I love the show regardless of whether Beth returns or not. I fully believe she will, because that’s how I interpret the symbolism, but I don’t hate every episode or season where she doesn’t. Everyone’s different and I’m not judging anyone, but it’s probably easier for me to thoroughly enjoy the show even when Beth isn’t here, simply because I love it regardless.

So while I would love to see spoiler pics of her in Spain, I’m not terribly distressed when she seems to stay put in LA, because there are still a number of ways in which she could be “resurrected”😘

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Beyond how evil Hybe is, one of their worst qualities is the disgracefully ugly visuals they put out. They really don't give a flying fuck any more and they can't even pretend to do so. I truly believe they don't even have a creative department or anything of that kind anymore. Their stuff has been ugly for at least 5 years, some stuff looked better than other, but I just came across Jin's concept pictures on Twitter and my jaw legit dropped. As if the refried "rock concept" wasn't enough, the whole thing looks unbelievably cheap. It looks like a parody from a bad sitcom. I have never seen anything like this, not even from the smallest companies, which obviously have a fraction of Hybe's budget. To say I need Jimin and jungkook out of there is no longer just wishful thinking. Not to be dramatic but I will not be able to tolerate and pay for this kind of content. Golden and Muse were already a little... uninspired? I'd say. I cannot take worse than that. My love and money have their limits.

Adding a second message as it's more or less about the same topic.

Hybe might still have a creative department, but I find most of their work lazy and predictable, as you've pointed out as well. A lot of it comes across as unimaginative and a bit cheap overall and considering the prices and on a more macro level, the current economic situation, do we really want to pay for all of that? And I'm talking here about the lack of quality materials as well, not just at a conceptual level.

I do have the two versions of Muse and I'm fully aware of my participation in falling in the capitalist trap because of my position as a fan in this context, but looking at it as objectively as I can, it is not an album that I 100% like and I don't have any urge to open it up from time to time and look through it. The lack of quality is too obvious. It's the same with the AYS?! photobook. It's like they designed those pages with their eyes closed. A complete disgrace and what sucks is that it is so easy to come up with a better format. Do they not research photobooks? Or better yet, there's plenty of coffee table albums on fashion, photography, you name it, that can be used as inspiration. It's disappointing to say the least.

As to the actual concepts I too have an issue with using them without any sort of minimal connection to the idol or worse, the music itself. The first time I experienced this was through the Butter teasers which proved that it was just some aesthetic that had nothing to do with the actual mv. I'm mentioning Muse here again because I followed the promo closely. I can understand that the teasers are meant to be concepts for the overall album, but it can easily fall into a trap and become too generic or too vague. But what also happens is that fans immediately begin to theorize and look for symbolism in those 10 seconds clips and photoshoots, believing they'll find some clues to hidden messages. It's a futile exercise in meaningless interpretation.

Is Jin a rockstar? Is he releasing a rock album? Has he suddenly found his genre and now he's experimenting? Are bts a punk rock band because they appear dressed like that in a Seasons Greetings photoshoot? Is nothing but aesthetic and changing it all the time for every album without having an ounce of it in the actual music shows a lack of consistency.

It can be fun to experiment with various concepts. It allows idols to show their adaptability and it involves a bit of acting on top of it. It's like taking on a role. Perhaps framing it this way makes a bit more acceptable. But aesthetic concepts are not created from thin air. The more established ones are the result of subcultures (which do not exist anymore in this era of the internet, so it's not surprising that creatives are constantly looking back to the past for inspiration). But when there is a complete disconnection, it becomes too shallow and perhaps ridiculous as well. You can't sell an image if it has nothing to do with your own persona, music or your actual desire to experiment. Who actually believes Jin is the kind of idol with painted nails and, a guitar in hand, the classic outfit and eyes covered by messy hair? Not me because there hasn't been anything to indicate that there is something authentic. Perhaps there is, but there was no prior indication of that.

I used Jin as an example, but this is applied to other idols and groups. It will never be more than an aesthetic in the current use of the word by zoomers (the annoying lacking of meaning of "wow, that's so aesthetic!"). Perhaps we should think of it as modelling and idols as models made to express someone else's ideas as they become a canvas for concepts. Therefore, interpretation olympics should be reigned in.

[cpunkwitch]

do you have any witchy recommendations for newbie who's mostly in bed? stuff to look into or do when spoons allow :0

Yes yes (also we love the lil wooper)

There's a bunch of things you can do that are low effort and spoon saving, and I have all kinds of tips for beginner witches.

There's a lot of "tips for baby witches" posts out there but pretty much none of them have disabled folk in mind

I'm more than happy to write a post if people would like.

But as for things you can do from bed for now

Chants, verbal spells. You can say these in your head, it doesn't have to be out loud, you know you've said it and that's enough. Just about anything with intention can be a spell of you want, such as affirmations. It doesn't have to rhyme, you can simply state that "today will be good, my pain will be less" and you've casted a verbal spell.

Something as simple as tea or coffee can be a potion, taking a sip with an intention in mind, stirring one way or the other with your intent in mind and even steeping, are all acts you can do to that are a bit witchy. (I can create a whole seperate post on this subject alone)

If you're able, placing sigils (or runes if you prefer) on your walls nearby can help too. I have 3 next to my bed for healing, protection and cleansing, I first added sigils around my room when we moved in and I'd gotten the flu. Any symbols you feel are significant can work so long as you put your intent behind them

Cards. I actually do all my tarot from bed, if I can get myself to sit up then I can use the surface to cut the deck and help me shuffle before laying them out. It doesn't have to be tarot specifically, you can write or draw on a set of playing cards to have anything on them you'd like, from symbols to spells. You can even use any variant of the cards against humanity game if you have one, or uno if you want. Any cards work if you would like.

Wearing things like certain colours, symbols, accessories etc can be witchy too. Each colour right to the shade has a different meaning, corresponding intention and use. Symbols like animals, shapes, words and other graphics can have meaning as well. I often wear jewelry for different intentions. My name necklace I wear for Loki, I often wear dark shades (because that's what we have and) because I find them calming and comforting as well as deterring. Black is best for banishment and protection for example.

If scents aren't bothersome, you can light a candle as long as you keep fire safety in mind, or incense or you could use different oils or creams etc. essential oils can be put of tissue and placed in different spots for a desired effect, wearing perfume or creams etc can help too.

Just like tarot being primarily about interpretation, witchcraft is about intention. Both are left up to you on how you go about it.

Just about anything can be witchy if you do your research.

[magpod-confessions]

the thing about literary analysis and media criticism is that everything is fair game AND sometimes things aren't that deep. someone could write an impassioned , thoughtful meta about Needles but he's still gonna be a Funny Little Guy, horrible edition. but: maybe the meta writer wants to explore body horror vs bodily autonomy and the role of piercings in individual queer empowerment narratives, and they give it some thought and say 'this is a way Needles can be read.' and that's legit!

there's also a difference between listening to magnus like it's a story and listening to magnus like it's a puzzle. it's really apparent in how much tmagp meta reads like a continuation of the ARG: people making spreadsheets and notes and figurative (perhaps literal?) red string boards (which is also a thing people liked to do while tma was airing, too, i'm not trying to point fingers at protocol in particular). the coffee/tea people say that the oiar crew's hot beverage of choice symbolises their ties to either protocol-verse or archives-verse, but what a lot of them seem to mean is not that coffee/tea are symbols, but that they're *clues.* (personally I don't think it's either, but am prepared to be wrong about this.) because tmagp is still so new, too, it's harder to understand if/how it's operating on an overarching thematic level; we can't see the forest because the trees are still saplings.

when people say things like "the fears are capitalism," I mean. the fears are a pretty good allegory for the systems of power and oppression that, in their avarice, seek endless and complete consumption of the very resources (people) that keep them alive. the web is a great image for the inconceivably complex systems that surround and entrap us, whether we're a fly or a society. at the same time, the fears/the fear entity is literally an extradimensional force beyond human comprehension that must feed off the terror of other living beings and seeks to expand its reach across the multiverse. the fears are also scary because being trapped in a cave is scary, and the endless void of space is scary, and clowns are scary, y'know?

so I think my hot take is that critical engagement with media and textual analysis and interpretation and meta of all kinds is fun and rewarding, but that while stories generally have literal meanings (they've got a plot, they've got characters, things occur), they don't tend to produce clean solutions. if the magnus archives were two sentences long ("exploitation is bad and we are probably mostly doomed. you should still try I guess, and also care about people," for example) it would be a lot less memorable!

.

[ziskandra]

5, 7, and 35: which character (if any) has changed the most as you wrote them, in terms of your interpretation or understanding of their character and choices?

(Fanfic/author ask game) 5. What's something you learnt while researching a fic? I had to mull over this question for quite a while! Given my tendency to mostly write canon-compliant character studies in fantasy universes, most of my 'research' process is double-checking for lore compliance and the like and it was a struggle to identify anything particularly interesting or revelatory which would be worth sharing from those deep dives (unless people want to hear me bang on about the symbolism of Meredith and Orsino both losing loved ones in cupboard fires again). So, I had a flick though the last few pages of my posted AO3 works, and came up with the research I had to do into the neighbourhoods of New York City for my Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fic Crossroads, featuring Rebecca Bunch crashing at her ex-frenemy Audra Bunch's house when stranded in NYC, as well as my Ace Attorney smut fic escargot*, which uh, features the eating of escargot. (I have eaten escargot before, but wanted to refresh my memory of the process because it was basically a food kink fic lol.) *Heads up that this is a (aged-up) Trucy/Miles fic for anyone who's canon familiar and might be squicked by the pairing. 7. Coffee or tea while you write? I don't really tend to drink either while writing these days! They're both very work-coded to me now. (Coffee for when I need to focus, tea for when I need to calm down.) The real question is water or alcohol, to which the ratio is about 9:1 😉. (But no joke, I have found that staying adequately hydrated helps my writing process a LOT. glug glug)

35 (wild card): which character (if any) has changed the most as you wrote them, in terms of your interpretation or understanding of their character and choices? I know I mentioned the other day that I've started finding Meredith easier to write due to recent life events, and I think there's at least a handful of people who follow me here who would understand the full context of why that's the case, and probably a dozen more that could make a pretty educated guess based on what I've mentioned publicly! Because the explanation deals with pretty heavy mental health shit (psychosis, suicide) and is quite lengthy, I'm putting the rest of this answer under a cut.

Long story short, I think it's incredibly difficult to truly appreciate just how fucking weird brains can be when pushed to their absolute limits (especially where trauma is involved). And nothing quite encapsulates that for me more than the circumstances which lead to my involuntary hospitalisation on the other side of the planet last year! Basically, due to a cumulation of insanely stressful life factors between January and June last year, I ended up having a psychotic break featuring hallucinations, persecutory delusions, and delusions of grandeur. Unfortunately, I was still acting just normal enough before my pre-planned trip to the US last year that nobody quite picked up on it until after I left Australia (although in hindsight I was definitely having hallucinations before the trip). Anyway, I quickly grew more deranged after that due to a combination of factors, such as being socially isolated from my support network, missing my connecting flight to NYC at LAX (and absolutely lacking the executive function to rebook one), as well as being separated from my luggage. I also misplaced my wallet and glasses (but somehow managed to hold onto my passport, thank god). Thankfully, I did have my credit card details stored on my phone, so I managed to book a room in a Holiday Inn for several days, which I only left to eat at the McDonald's across the road in a state of constant hypervigilance. I became convinced that I was a secret CIA sleeper agent and that the CIA had killed my cousin (who had suicided some nine years prior). Eventually, I decided that I desperately needed to return to Australia and tried to make my way back to the Australian embassy, missing its closing time by 15 minutes. Lost and confused, I spent a lot of time wandering about in circles hoping that whoever was tailing me would lose my scent. I sent my lawyer an email from an Apple store stating that I had "shaken the fabric of reality and discovered my moral values" and that I wanted to go home now. I got hungry and hunkered down in a McDonald's again. I sat there for a while having occasional moments of clarity where I would be like 'holy shit I think I am losing my fucking mind'. During one of these moments, I asked to borrow the restaurant's phone and called 911 on myself. I then had a very vivid and soothing hallucination of my Honours thesis supervisor who I had not seen in a decade putting on a bad Australian accent (he's American) telling me that everything would be okay and I would get through this. Then the police turned up and I screamed at this LAPD officer about how I was a proud Australian citizen, that I was going to become PM one day, and that when I was Prime Minister (of Australia) I would ... *check notes* fix Los Angeles International Airport? And then I got sectioned. lol As for how all this relates to Meredith Stannard, I think it's very cool and sexy for me to have already been a massive fan of a character who more or less experiences canonical delusions (and implied hallucinations) so I can continue processing this absolutely bizarre batshit experience that happened to me the way I know best (terrorising fictional characters). It definitely gave me more insight into how somebody in that frame of mind (and not sleeping for days!!) might end up putting dots together that aren't there because their frames of reference are wrong, or they believe God is sending them signs, or what have you. tl;dr I was always fascinated by how Meredith's sanity slippage has a very slow build up (she carried that red lyrium sword around for YEARS!) for her to just finally snap the way she does, and although I have written snippets set in that time frame before, I think I'll be able to do it in an even better and more meaningful way now.