#in my defense i am sick and delirious

[simpleapparition]

vessel's hierarchy of needs

[abiiors]

totally not inspired by real-life events... but I am here begging for Jules looking after sick matty pleek. I need to baby that man, and I'm unashamed

noooooo i understand!!! i hope covid has not been mean to you :(

“go away, you’re not supposed to be in here,” matty groans from under the mountain of blankets, struggling to fully breath. 

the room is somehow boiling hot and bitterly cold. he takes a peek at jules' frowning face, and shuts his eyes again. 

“you were calling my name,” her voice floats in on the breeze, garbled as if he's under water and she’s trying to reach him. “you sounded quite weak and pathetic if i’m being honest—”

“oi!”

“scared me a bit.”

matty sighs into the pillow and grimaces when a sweat-soaked tissue touches his nose. he shouldn’t be this disgusted by it. every inch of his skin feels the same—sweat-soaked and grimy and icky. 

a moment later, a cold hand touches his forehead. and then he hears a wince. 

“oh, you’re not doing so well are you?”

“miserable. but you should go. i’ll be just fine—” and then, just to drive home the point, his body breaks into a coughing fit. 

the cold hand moves to his back; jules, stroking down his spine until he can finally catch a breath, get some air in his lungs. it burns, of course. it burns like he's swallowed glass. 

“quit being so stubborn, will you? don’t make me wrestle you into being a good patient.”

“oooh kinky,” matty teases, his voice hoarse and barely even audible. another coughing fit threatens to take over him, but jules holds a glass of water in front of him before that can happen. 

matty looks at her unimpressed face and takes the glass dutifully. 

“i don’t remember calling your name.” he sets the glass aside and tries to prop himself up. jules immediately moves to set a few pillows behind him. 

“well you would if your brain weren’t so fever addled. i reckon it’s melting. because you refuse to listen to me.”

“i’ve listened to you all day!”

“and did you eat when i brought you a bowl of soup in bed or did you make a face?”

“right,” matty pouts, pulls out the last arrow from his arsenal, “are we really gonna do this when i’m on my death bed?”

a laugh tumbles out of jules, surprising them both. she presses a hand over her mouth to stop it, pretends to run a hand over her face to cover it up. “oh now you’re too sick, are you? i though you were ‘just fine’.”

“schrödinger’s sickness,” matty shrugs and silently celebrates when she has to fight another smile.

“alright, how about we make a deal,” jules says and extends her hand towards him, all business-like and serious. “you have some of that soup, let me help you with a quick shower, and then i’ll stay away from you. you won’t get me sick.”

“if you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask.” he giggles behind his hands like a child. maybe she's right, maybe the delirium's really getting to him. 

jules huffs, close to defeated. “you’re impossible. why won’t you let me baby you, hmm? is it really so bad to lean on someone else?”

“okay,” matty holds his hands up weakly, defensively, “fine. deal.” and even though her peeved expression is highly entertaining, he keeps his laugh to himself. “how could i ever say no to you.”

“you have,” she points out, “multiple times, if i may add! and quit flirting. it’s time to let me do my job.”

“and what job is that?”

“nursing you back to health. making sure you don’t waste away like you so obviously want to.”

“and will you be by my bedside in a slutty nurse costume?” matty snorts, “you have the legs for it.”

rapidly, jules mutters the words “delirious” and “impossible” among others under her breath, but he don’t miss the way her face splits into a smile. how she shakes her head. especially not the fondness in her eyes when she pulls the blankets off matty and holds his shivering body closer. 

without hesitating, he curls into her, into the crook of her neck, trying to fit herself into any cavities of her body that will have him. anything for her warmth. 

“i’m going to give you so much grief the next time i’m sick,” jules declares, then cuddles him a little closer. 

matty kisses the exposed part of her neck, resting his head in the crook. “is that a threat, darling? because i know how much you love being babied—”

“shush, aren’t you supposed to have a sore throat?”

a moment later jules pulls him out of bed, letting him lean his weight onto her until they're finally in the bathroom and he can sit on the lid of the toilet. she flits around the bathroom gathering things. matty watch her—he watches the crease between her brow and the stray hair falling out of her bun. he watches where her t-shirt slides off her shoulder to expose a collarbone and the was she licks her lips when she’s thinking. 

and when his sweat soaked skin breaks out into goosebumps once more, he knows it’s not the fever. 

[horoscope1078]

:)

Ferran burst through Pedri’s front door, his gym bag slung over his shoulder, and a look of mild panic on his face. “How is he?” he called out, his voice echoing through the quiet apartment.

Pedri’s best friend, and Ferran’s hopeless crush, you, appeared from the kitchen holding a bowl of steaming soup. You raised an eyebrow at Ferran. “It’s just the stomach flu, not the plague. You didn’t have to sprint over like it’s a life-or-death situation.”

Ferran ignored your teasing and dropped his bag onto the floor. “Where is he? I should’ve brought, like, I don’t know, ginger tea or... something. Does he need anything?”

“Relax, Florence Nightingale. He’s in his room.” you replied with a smile, motioning toward the hallway. “But brace yourself. He’s being dramatic.”

The two of you made your way to Pedri’s room, where the young midfielder was sprawled across his bed like a fallen soldier. His hair was a mess, his face pale, and a bucket sat ominously by his bedside.

“Finally...” Pedri croaked, clutching his stomach as though he’d been fatally wounded. “My rescuers. I thought I’d perish alone.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Ferran said, crossing his arms.

“You look terrible.” you chimed in, setting the soup on Pedri’s nightstand. “Eat this. It’ll help.”

“I can’t eat.” Pedri groaned dramatically. “I’ll die if I eat.”

“Then don’t eat. That’ll make things easier.” you shot back, rolling your eyes.

“Wow” Pedri said, his voice heavy with mock betrayal. “This is the woman you’re in love with, Ferran? Her bedside manner is atrocious.”

Ferran froze like a deer caught in headlights. “What?” he spluttered, his cheeks burning.

Pedri smirked, clearly enjoying himself despite his misery. “What? Did I say something wrong? My bad.”

You glanced at Ferran with a quizzical expression, then back at Pedri. “Is the fever making you hallucinate? Because I’m starting to think we should call a doctor.”

“No fever, just vibes.” Pedri mumbled, suppressing a laugh that turned into a weak cough. “Anyway, Ferran, you’re blushing. She’s going to figure it out, you know. Just confess already.”

“Okay, that’s enough out of you.” Ferran said hastily, grabbing a pillow from Pedri’s bed and gently shoving it over his friend’s face.

“Mmph!!” came Pedri’s muffled protest before Ferran relented.

“Seriously, though, are you two finally going to get together, or am I going to have to set you up while I’m half-dead?” Pedri asked, his voice slightly strained but full of mischief.

Ferran turned to you, his hands raised defensively. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

You just laughed, a soft sound that made Ferran’s stomach flip in a way that had nothing to do with the flu. “Ignore him.” you said, waving a hand dismissively. “He’s clearly delirious. Let’s just focus on making sure he survives the next 24 hours.”

“Oh, so you admit you’re ignoring the elephant in the room?” Pedri wheezed, clutching his blanket. “How convenient.”

“Do you want me to dump this soup on your head?” you threatened, holding up the bowl.

Pedri groaned and leaned back against his pillows. “Fine, fine. But for the record, I’m right. And you two are boring.”

Ferran muttered something under his breath and pulled up a chair by the bed. “How about we talk about you instead? Like how you ended up getting sick.”

Pedri pointed accusingly at Ferran. “It’s your fault.”

“Mine?” Ferran said, genuinely offended. “What did I do?”

“You dared me to eat that stupid hot sauce at the team dinner.”

Ferran blinked. “That was two days ago.”

“And now I’m dying. Cause and effect.” Pedri said solemnly, waving a weak hand in the air.

“I don’t think that’s how stomach flu works.” you interjected with a laugh.

“Don’t take his side.” Pedri grumbled. “Traitor.”

As the hours passed, the three of you fell into an easy rhythm, Pedri alternating between whining and dozing, you alternating between nurturing and sarcastic, and Ferran trying his best not to combust every time your hands brushed while you tidied up or handed Pedri water.

At one point, while Ferran was distracted fluffing Pedri’s pillows, Pedri stage-whispered to you “He’s obsessed with you, y'know. Talks about you all the time. It’s unbearable.”

Ferran dropped the pillow on Pedri’s face again.

“What was that?” you asked innocently, pretending not to hear.

“Nothing!” Ferran said quickly.

“Everything...” Pedri groaned from under the pillow. “He’s hopelessly in lo..”

Ferran snatched the pillow away just as Pedri dissolved into another coughing fit.

You raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You’re awfully jumpy today, Ferran.”

“Just tired.” he muttered, avoiding your gaze.

By the end of the day, Pedri was visibly better, well enough to start texting their teammates about how Ferran had nearly fainted when you smiled at him.

“Why are you typing so furiously?” Ferran asked suspiciously.

“Oh, just telling Gavi how you..”

“Give me that!” Ferran lunged for the phone, but Pedri held it out of reach, laughing weakly but victoriously.

You sighed, shaking your head as you watched the two of them wrestle. “You guys are impossible.”

Pedri smirked at you. “He’s impossible. I’m a delight.”

“You’re an instigator.” you corrected.

“And yet” Pedri said with a grin “you’re still here. Wonder why that is.”

You didn’t answer, but the faint blush on your cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by Ferran, who was suddenly feeling a lot more hopeful.

As the evening wound down and Ferran packed up to leave, Pedri gave him a sly look. “So, when are you going to ask her out?”

Ferran groaned, grabbing the nearest blanket and throwing it over Pedri’s head.

But as he glanced back at you, catching you smiling softly at him, he couldn’t help but think that maybe Pedri’s meddling wasn’t so bad after all.

---

Did y'all miss me? ;) I was busy and out of fiction ideas until learning Pedri got stomach flu. Hope he's okay now.

[unopenablebox]

the other night i tried something wild and made a “pasta sauce” that’s just anchovy filets cooked into a paste with olive oil and garlic, where by “wild” i just mean “i had not personally consumed anchovies before”

and i recognize intellectually that it’s kind of strong-smelling/fishy and usually people mix anchovies into some other sauce or pasta dish with several other ingredients 

but the fact is that all i’ve wanted to consume for the past three days is pasta with anchovy and i’ve decided to live that truth

[whereonceiwasfire]

Maybe you can do a "being sick sucks" ventfic with Danny having a ghostcold or something?

Ahaha, this was a brilliant idea. Very cathartic lol. Thanks, Anon!

Fleeing at top speed from a lumbering ghost in a mechanized suit who’s threatening to hang your pelt on his wall is one thing. Fleeing at top speed from a lumbering ghost in a mechanized suit who’s threatening to hang your pelt on his wall while you have a frickin’ ghostcold is another entirely.

Danny makes it all of twenty feet before just laying on the ground and pressing his hot cheek against the blessedly cool pavement of the sidewalk instead. 

Skulker’s heavy boots come to settle against the cement by his face with a rumble, a distorted, echoey, “whelp?” coming from above Danny as he does. 

“Just, give me a couple minutes,” Danny says, the words coming out more like jus’ gib be a coubble minus’ through his stuffed nose.      

“Are you trying to lay some sort of trap? Because it won’t work. I’ll have you know I’m the—” 

“Greatest hunter in the ghost zone. Yeah. I’ve heard,” Danny says flatly, closing his eyes. Just for a second.

When Skulker seems convinced that the Jello-y mess Danny makes on the sidewalk really isn’t a threat, he lowers himself to a crouch, the metal of his knee joints creaking.  

“What ails you, ghost child?” Skulker asks. 

Danny blinks hot, sticky eyelids open, peers up into the skeletal faceplate of the ghost. 

“I’m sick,” he moans. Ib sick. 

Skulker gives the low rumble of an echoey laugh from his barrel chest. “Oh?” 

The slightest encouragement is all Danny needs to push himself up onto his elbows, spinning his rant only after a cough has finished rattling his lungs like wax paper. 

“This is so unfair,” he says. “I’m already dead. Half dead? Somewhat dead. Why do I have to still get colds? Do you guys get ghostcolds, or is that just a halfa thing? And why is it called a cold when I’m so hot? I have ice powers, how am I fevered? Can I melt? I think I might be melting.”

“I believe the human remedy for this is…rest?” Skulker offers as Danny’s head starts to droop on his neck. 

“Yeah, and, let me guess, I’ll get a lot of rest hanging on your wall, right? Fat chance. You come near me, and I’ll cough all over you. You ever seen War of the Worlds? That’s your fate, buckethead.” 

“Buckethead?” 

“Look. My dude. My brain is full of radioactive bees, every muscle in my body hurts, and I haven’t been able to lay down without waking up in a puddle of my own drool every twenty minutes, so I’m operating on even less sleep than usual. You’ll have to excuse me if my insults are a little bit lacking at the moment,” Danny says, sniffling as he lays his head down on crooked arms.

“Alright,” Skulker says, lifting defensive hands. “Though, can I offer a suggestion?”

“If you must.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t just lay down on the sidewalk in the middle of the night? Seems…unwise.”

“Noted,” Danny says, but he doesn’t move. 

He’ll get up. He will. In a couple minutes. But. For now. The pavement feels really nice on his cheek. And his eyes are so heavy. Just. A couple minutes. 

He doesn’t remember falling asleep—doesn’t remember getting himself home—but he must, at some point, because he rolls over hours later in his own bed, in his human form, blankets tucked up beneath his chin. He doesn’t know for sure what’s happened, can’t parse out reality from the delirious fever dream, all he can say for certain is that being sick really, really sucks.

[trashmouthkid]

Eddie wakes that morning to the gentle hum of a ceiling fan and a blinding ache in his head. He can’t think through it, but comes to bit by bit and realizes, in a semi-delirious state, that he’s not in his own room. The bed’s too big. The ceiling too high, the air a little too dusty.

Eddie let’s out a dry, involuntary cough and groans at the resulting throb against the inside of his skull. The room quiets again, for a moment, before a harsh whisper startles Eddie fully awake.

“Goooood morning, sunshine!”

He furrows his brows and lets his heart rate steady before turning his head to the side where the blurry figure of a man is sitting cross-legged in a desk chair across the room. He can’t make out the details of his face, but can tell he’s wearing clunky, oversized glasses and for a moment thinks they’re his before he blinks, his vision clears, and he remembers the only person he knows whose eyesight is that bad. He makes a face into the cushion of his pillow.

“Richie?”

Richie grins at him in answer, and the whites of his teeth make Eddie’s stomach turn, nauseated.

“How ya feeling?”

“Like shit,” Eddie mumbles, turning away to look back up at the ceiling. The fan isn’t any easier on his stomach than Richie’s face. “What happened?”

He’s not sure if he actually can’t remember, but he’s afraid of what thinking too hard will do to his headache.

“Well, I can only take you back as far as about 2am,” Richie says, reaching back behind him to grab his laptop. “But I’m guessing there was tequila in there somewhere around nine or ten? From what I could smell.”

Eddie throws an arm over his face and whines into it, long and loud. That’s right, he thinks. There’d been a party. A grad school, finals party Eddie didn’t put up much of a fight about going to because he’d had somewhat of a lonely first semester and needed to make friends somehow.

But Richie wasn’t there. He isn’t in school anymore, and finds it weird to hang around people who still are—a sentiment which sometimes included Eddie, when Richie felt like being weird and unfamiliar.

“Tell me,” Eddie sighs, pressing a thumb into his temple and rubbing it gently.

Richie lets out a breath in thought. “You called around one wanting to be picked up and sounded… completely plastered.”

“But you live like, an hour away.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I should have called Bev or Mike or something.”

“No, I…thank you.” Eddie swallows, chest pinching guiltily. Richie doesn’t respond, so he looks over at him. “What else? Tell me everything.”

“Okay, um. You were alone on the curb when I came by. I brought you back here, you made a valiant effort to take my pants off—“

Eddie sits up bolt-right.

“Oh my god.”

“No, Eds, it’s fine—“

“Oh my goooood.”

“Seriously Eddie, don’t sweat it.” Richie sounds calm and content, but his cheeks are pink when Eddie peeks at him from beneath the hands he’s hidden his face in. He smiles. “Let yourself be glad it was me instead of some stranger.”

Eddie isn’t sure if he can. He stares down at his lap, where’s he’s been stripped down to his boxers and a shirt that isn’t his. He pinches the worn fabric between a thumb and forefinger and feels warm inside.

“Did I get sick?” he asks.

Richie shakes his head. “No, but you were wet for some reason.”

Mortifying. Eddie looks around the room some more as the pain in his head subsides. Richie looks like he’s been up a while, but there’s a mess of blankets on the rug at the foot of the bed.

“You slept on the floor?” They’d been sharing beds since they were kids.

“Just a precaution.” Richie shrugs and Eddie flushes, hot and unflattering. “Here,” Richie adds after a beat of silence, grabbing a cup that’s been sitting on his desk and coming over. “Drink this. For the hangover.”

Eddie objects immediately. “No way,” he says, previous embarrassment making him loud and defensive. “Absolutely not. You got Ben and Stan with that freshman year, how dumb do you think I am?”

Richie looks amused, but smiles and pushes the cup into Eddie’s raised hands regardless. “It’s just water, Eddie.”

Eddie scowls at the cup, seeing the thin, clear liquid, and gives himself a moment to think. Into it, he says: “Well. You’ve gone soft.”

Richie snorts, then laughs with the whole of his body.

“So,” he says, lifting a leg onto the bed and sitting down. “Grad school parties, huh?”

Eddie takes a sip of his water, looking away. “Uh…yeah.”

“Am I missing out?” Richie pauses, thoughtful. “How hot are the guys?”

Clearly not enough to keep me away from you, Eddie thinks, remembering suddenly what those first three shots were for to begin with. He rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t notice.”

“Not-a one?”

He shakes his head.

“Boy, Eddie.” Richie throws himself back into the bedsheets next to him. “You sure do make it hard to live vicariously through you.”

Eddie looks down at him, cheeks pink and glasses lopsided, hair tickling the hand Eddie has pressed into the mattress by his side. For a moment he feels a little like he might still be drunk.

“You could just come, you know.”

“No way,” Richie argues. “I’ve never gotten laid at a party you’ve been at.” Eddie realizes with sudden clarity the truth of that sentence before Richie tacks on: “You steal the whole show!”

Eddie hums, thoughtful. He hums and hums and hums, resituating himself to lay down next to Richie, trying to gauge the way he’s looking at him. His head still hurts and it’s hard to tell.

“Thanks for picking me up, Rich.”

He looks back up at the ceiling, but can feel Richie’s eyes still on him.

“Yeah, Eddie.” He sounds soft, contemplative. “Anytime.”

[spencer-reids-adventures]

from @mightdieforkeats: spencer calling hotch dad/daddy but in a COMPLETELY non sexual way because he’s tired or sick or overhwlemed and him being super embarrassed because what if hotch thinks he’s weird and fucked up, and hotch being really sweet and comforting

-

Spencer doesn't even realize what he's done until well after it's happened. In his defense, he's delirious with fever, although he'd never want to admit that to his team.

They'd figured it out pretty quickly when he collapsed in the precinct, though, and now that the case is over, he's curled up on the couch on the jet, pumped full of flu medicine and gatorade. Hotch comes and sits next to him, wringing out a cool washcloth to lay across his blazing forehead.

"Mm," Spencer moans, scrunching his face up and then relaxing, letting the washcloth cool him down. "Thanks, daddy."

He's asleep again in seconds, but every head on the plane turns to look at him. Hotch glares at all of them, daring them to say something, and everyone goes back to their own business. When they finally land, Hotch drives Spencer home, tucks him into bed, and promises to come by in the morning to check on him.

It's still early when Spencer does wake up, and he's laying in bed trying to recount the events of the day before - how they solved the case, when he got sick, who took care of--

He bursts into a coughing fit when he suddenly remembers. He remembers Hotch giving him medicine and keeping him hydrated, remembers him helping him to lay down on the couch on the jet. He remembers Hotch putting a cool washcloth on his head in an effort to calm his fever, and he remembers...

He remembers calling Hotch 'Daddy.'

Before he can fully process the thought, there's a knock at the front door and Hotch lets himself in, holding a paper grocery bag, which he sets on the kitchen counter. He steps into Spencer's room and Spencer takes one look at him and bursts into tears.

"Hey, hey," Hotch says gently. "Spencer, what is it? What do you need? Have you taken any medicine this morning?"

Spencer shakes his head miserably, trying to find the right words, wondering how on earth Hotch can even look at him after what he said. Hotch brings him some more medicine and some water and helps him lay back down into bed. Spencer is still crying.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks. "Is this about, uh..." He hesitates, as though he doesn't want to remind Spencer, in case he doesn't remember.

"I didn't mean to call you that," Spencer sobs. "I, um, I was really sick. Still am. Obviously. And I'm not used to people, you know, taking care of me like this. And my mom, she couldn't really... she couldn't do much, usually, when I was sick. The only person I really have any memory of taking care of me like that was my d-- was William. And that was when I was really, really small. So I think it just sort of...slipped out..." He's hit with a fresh wave of tears. "It was so inappropriate, Hotch, I'm so sorry. I promise it'll never happen again."

"Spencer," Hotch says soothingly, handing him the cup of water. "Please don't feel bad about that. Illness does that to us, especially with a fever as high as yours was. It makes sense that you would revert back to the last time you felt properly cared for. I'm not judging you for calling me something you didn't mean to, and no one else is, either. Everything is okay."

Spencer sniffles and looks up at him through eyelashes clumped with tears.

"You promise?" he says in a small voice.

"I promise," Hotch says sincerely. "Now, do you think you can stomach some soup?"

[dinosaurtsukki]

dating the armed detective agency’s medic

a/n: of course i have to write one for the ADA even though i’m a biased port mafia bitch. there’s a bit more characters here so i’ll try to keep each one short but still very fluffy and sweet <3

this man is always getting himself injured and even though agency has yosano, fukuzawa thought it would be a good idea to hire another medic who could deal with less life-threatening injuries

ofc dazai flirts with you the first chance he gets and every time he comes into your clinic

dazai: good morning my dear belladonna! the weather is beautiful today, but not as beautiful as you of course

you: YOUR ARM IS BROKEN PLEASE SIT DOWN

although as much as he likes to slightly mess with you, dazai genuinely enjoys coming to the clinic and being treated by someone like you

he likes observing your hands and how careful they are when they bandage his arm or that cute little scrunch of your brows when you’re bandaging his forehead

while on a mission, atsushi and kunikida go the extra length to protect dazai because they know you’re worried about him 

and then one day dazai comes into your clinic again and instantly you think that something has happened

until he surprises you by bringing out a bouquet of flowers

‘if i get injured less on missions, would you let me take you out on a date?’

jokes on you though after you guys date dazai finds every excuse to visit you in the clinic

he’ll get papercuts on purpose just so he can get you to put a bandage on them 

kunikida is annoyed because dazai they’re just papercuts jfc also please go back to work

seeing that you’re always concerned about his health and well-being, dazai finds himself making much less attempts cause he knows the stress it puts on you when you have to bandage him up after and make sure he’s alright

thanks to you our man is able to take care of himself a bit more

even though he is your boyfriend he’s still going to mess with you in any way he can

he’ll barge into your office claiming that his chest hurts because you didn’t give him a kiss that morning

also will highkey hug you from behind even if you’re treating another patient

the first time he meets you is for a physical exam check-up because it was required at the agency and he feels embarrassed at first seeing that the agency’s medic was gorgeous

atsushi was fresh out of the orphanage so of course he was quite malnourished and still had some injuries from his abuse

you had no idea who’d dare hurt such a sweet boy so you do your best to treat him and instructed atsushi to come in for some follow-up check-ups

although when he comes in for that check-up he talks about how he’s been healthy because he eats a lot of chazuke and you’re like ‘oh no, no, no, please eat other things too’

you end up packing him a bento box because he’s your patient so ofc you have to keep him healthy 

the two of you run into each other a lot in the morning because atsushi tends to come in way earlier than he’s supposed to so you often find him sitting in front of the locked door

thus begins your early morning chats. atsushi’s always polite and never interrupts when you talk and you love how he shows so much interest in whatever you say

atsushi began to realize that he has feelings for you but boy is he bad at concealing them also ranpo kind of busted him in front of everyone in the agency including you

but atsushi was saved by you hinting that you wouldn’t mind going on a date with him at all and he’s ecstatic until he realizes he hasn’t been on a date before

he takes you out to a nice restaurant and insists on paying for everything

nothing much changes with your routine but atsushi likes to bring you breakfast in the morning and the two of you have little dates before going into the office

he knows how worried you get when he goes out on especially dangerous missions but he does everything he can to protect the city and the new home he found with the agency and you

this guy was one of the people, other than yosano and fukuzawa, who interviewed you for the job and you can’t forget how intense he was when it came to asking questions

of course, you answered all of them well but kunikida was very serious that you knew how dangerous it could be to be involved with the agency

there was a self-defense portion in the interview that you knew about and of course kunikida was the one who added that

to his pleasant surprise, you managed to dodge all his incoming attacks (kunikida lowkey found it hot, like that’s requirement number ten on his list checked right there)

kunikida does get injured a fair amount during missions and he doesn’t want to get dissected by yosano all the time so he goes to your clinic that’s right near the office

he likes how efficiently you work and how gentle your hands are that even when you’re stitching up his wound he almost can’t feel a thing

however, kunikida does have a bad habit of not resting for the appropriate number of days. like, even with a bullet wound he’ll still hobble over to his desk to finish his paperwork

once, he came down with a terrible case of the flu so of course you sent him home only for kunikida to sneak back into the office when he thought no one was looking

you ended up taking kunikida home but poor guy could barely do anything by himself so you took care of him too

kunikida is definitely the delirious babbling when he’s sick so he ends up talking about his list of traits for an ideal woman and how you filled out a good portion of it

when he wakes up (much more sane) he sees you reading that list on his notebook and he’s like WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

he handed you the notebook personally before passing out and kunikida can’t live it down

you: well, even if i don’t match all these requirements, would you still be interested in going out?

kunikida: yes... please

everyone can tell that kunikida’s about to go on a date because of how nervous he is the entire day

he knows how tight your schedule can be and how busy he is with with work but he always makes time to have his lunchbreak with you

loves to hear about your day and even has some space in his notebook dedicated to any interesting stories you have

the first time you met him was when he also had his physical check-up which ranpo insisted he didn’t need but fukuzawa made him so he had no choice but to follow

the entire time ranpo’s just like ‘nothing’s wrong with me, see?’ and then you do a simple dental check-up and find that he has like two cavities he didn’t want to tell anyone about it because he’s scared of the dentist *cue ranpo trying to run away and you grabbing him by the poncho*

of course fukuzawa makes him go to the dentist too but ranpo insists that you have to be the one to take him and schedule the appointment and come along

truth be told, you’ve always been pretty attracted to ranpo because you know of his skill as a detective so you were excited to have this day with him

only for you to have to physically restrain ranpo to the dentist’s chair (you even had to call kenji to help) while his teeth was getting checked

ranpo was squeezing your hand the entire time and he was fairly grumpy after the whole ordeal that he wouldn’t even talk to you until he asked if you could get ice cream

you: the dentist just told you to eat less sweets

ranpo: but i neeeeed them

you: fine, how about frozen yogurt?

after the dentist trip, you know how much of a hard time ranpo has with eating less sweets so you decide to leave fruit on his desk as a healthier alternative but he won’t TOUCH IT

after some bribery on fukuzawa’s part (’i’ll acknowledge you if you eat fruit more and also tell atsushi to give you a piggyback ride every day’) he finally concedes

he actually finds himself liking fruit so in the afternoon he’ll swing by the office just in time for you to be slicing fruit

ranpo gets over the fact that you sent him to the dentist and enjoys his time in the clinic eating fruit with you and sleeping on the cots inside

your clinic is where he hides when he doesn’t want to do work and when he pouts and asks you to say that he’s sick you can’t help but go along with it

he’s also super physically affectionate around you. will literally have his body draped over yours sometimes while you work

people start talking about how you two look good there and one time someone asked if the two of you are dating and ranpo’s like ‘of course we are!’

and you’re surprised self is about to protest when ranpo smirks at you and says ‘why? am i wrong?’

lmao ofc he’s not you’ve been struggling to keep yourself from being a flustered mess around him

he’s still clingy around you but this time he comes into the clinic every few minutes to ask for a kiss

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumu-brainrot​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi @amberalisa​

[its-kall-the-clown]

Hey, I'm send my ask cause I love your writing style. This is the aftermath I'd sick MK. Pigsy & Tang took him to the hospital while Wukong is in FFM waiting & worried out of his mind. So he flies there & he is in fir a shock when he discovers his kid is so sick & in hospital. Prompt list: #39 & 45.

*rubs clown hands together* yall really want part 3? >:3 its angsty but what else am I know for? XD

in this one Tang gets a chance to be a protective dad again

PART 1 PART 2

Prompt List

I'm Sorry Bud

Rating: G

Wukong wasn't worried. He was the incredibly handsome sage equal to heaven and super immortal. He had no reason to worry Except….maybe he was incredibly worried. No matter how much he tried, his stomach snapped and curled unhappily every time he even thought about MK.

He got a phone call.

Not from MK but from his dad Pigsy.

He didn't even get a word out before hellfire had rained down on him. Call him old school but there were definitely some new curse words that he had never heard before that spewed out of the hog's mouth.

He was flayed verbally so viscously he shuddered under the swearing and even looked over his shoulder to make sure the pigman did not spontaneously spawn behind him.

The call ended with Pigsy talking about taking MK to the hospital and it was HIS fault.

They hung up after that and Wukong hasn't stopped pacing for the past five minutes. MK was sick, running a deadly fever, and in the hospital because of it.

Because of him...

He bites his thumb, his tail lashing wildly behind him, while he continues to dig a trench with his feet.

"Fuck it."

He leaps upward, summoning his nimbus, and speeds off into the sky to the general Hospital. He's there for only a few minutes but it feels like forever. He didn't even wait for his nimbus to stop before he's timing off to the front doors.

He probably scares the poor lady behind the desk with how he practically slammed into it with how fast he was rushing. He asked for MK which got him nothing till he realized he needed to probably give them his full real name. After saying Qi Xiaotian Sanzang they directed him to a room.

He rushes to room 607 but before he can even get a hand in the door he's grabbed roughly by the shoulder.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you…"

Wukong turned around to see MK's other dad, Tang, he's holding a few water bottles under his arm and a can of instant coffee. Looks like they were going to settle on for the night at MKs side, and Tang had been sent out on the errand the get them some drinks.

"Pigsy is still in there, and he's not too keen on seeing your face."

They scan the king up and down with passive eyes that hold a twinge of resentment that makes the fur on the back of his neck bristle defensively.

"I just want to see him…..make sure he's okay." He pleads and the passive gaze melts a little bit sympathetically.

"Please," Wukong begs again, even going so far as to duck his head submissively to the mortal. He just wanted to make sure MK was okay. It was his fault after all that they were sick. He should have never let them egg him on into training in the rain.

Tang looks him over again, studying him with a keen eye. He lets out a sigh eventually and walks forward.

"Okay, but only because MK asked about you once. let me get Pigsy out of the room first."

Wukogn jerks his head upward with surprise. He was actually going to let him see MK?

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. I might not convince him to leave MK's side, wait here and disguise yourself or something." Tang gives him a little head nod before entering the room and shutting the door. Wukong does as requested and transforms into a beatle to cling to the wall.

A few minutes pass and at first, the monkey thinks that Tang couldn't do it and Pigsy wouldn't leave MK's side. But the door opens and the pig demon exits with a grumble about finding a nurse or doctor. Wukong barely has time to fly between the cracks before the door is shut again. He transforms back, landing on his feet.

MK is there.

He looks awful.

The poor boy is laying in a hospital bed, iv hooked up to him to administer fluids and a cooling compress to his forehead. Wukong approaches the bed reverently feeling his heart shatter into a million pieces.

"When they took his temp initially he was running a 104-degree fever," Tang explains walking up beside him and grabbing MK's limp hand.

"He was delirious, crying and shouting Something about being a disappointment before he passed out." They finish, the man rubbing MK's knuckles tenderly. Wukong takes the other side of the bed. And knees there to look at them up close.

"It's your fault you know."

It's like a full-body slam into a mountain. The words were delivered without mercy. He didn't even look at Tang and instead swallowed stiffly.

"You show up out of nowhere, pick MK without any reason that I can understand, and then you make him fill these impossibly big shoes!?" Tang's fist tightens at his side, face growing red slowly and Wukong isn't sure if he prefers this simmering rage of the explosive rage of Pigsy.

"You know how hard it was to build MK back up when we adopted him officially??? He was just a scared timid boy, no confidence! We had to HELP him get where he is now. And then you come along and just-" Tang throws his hands up in the air in frustration "-ruin that in a couple of weeks" he finishes with a growl. Wukogn shrinks further, this feels an awful like when he would get scolded like his master for doing something wrong and he didn't even have a defense for it. All of it was true. He did pick MK for little reason other than he likes the kid's spunk and good heart.

And he was making them fill big shoes. And maybe the big shoes were just too hard for MK to walk in, and maybe he noticed that but didn't help him because he assumed they would get better with time.

"I'm sorry���." He whispers out burying his face into the sheets of MK's bed. He whimpers feeling the guild nash and bites at the lining of his stomach.

"It's your fault...and I don't know if I want ML training with you anymore…."

It was all his fault.

His fault.

His fault.

"Baba...Don't...yell at monkey king."

His head jerks up to find that MK was conscious now, a hand reaches for his head and scratches the top of it like he's a monkey.

"MK…" Tang starts and is cut off by MK who shakes his head.

"Not his fault….he's so lonely." The by comments driving a knife between Monkey King's ribs and stabbing his heart. Those fingers continue to scratch the top of his head deliriously.

"You need to rest, bud. If you don't rest you won't get better." He instructs holding back something in his throat that he realizes is a pur.

"Mmmmkay. Do I look okay?" They asked and Wukong chuckled at the odd question.

"You look fine. Just rest please." He pleads and MK nods his head drearily before drifting back to sleep. Tang and he look at each other, bewildered by the experience. Tang studies him for a moment, eyes drifting over his form at MK's side with the boy's fingers still intertwined with the fur on the top of his head.

Tang must find what he's looking for because his shoulders relax slightly

"You may continue to train MK…." He holds up a finger. "On the condition that you are open and honest with him AND us about his training." He instructs and Wukong nods

"You also cut back to every other evening instead of every night after work. You're going to break him and wear him out. If in a week I decide that's still too much it gets cut back again. Understand?" Tang looks expectantly to Wukong who nods his head up and down quickly. These rules were more than fair, he could do that! Hell, he would tell MK himself of these new rules if he needed to.

The door clicks

"Tang the doctor said those vital signs were normal right now. I TOLD you this" Pigsy enters the room and looks at the display before him. Tang is sitting by MK's side, holding his hand and the window opens slightly.

"Why did you open the window?"

"I-it was a bit stuffy in here" Tang admits looking to where Wukong was just a few seconds ago and then to the window. He must have escaped quickly when he heard Pigsy enter the room. In the blink of an eye, he was gone.

Pigsy grumbles something and walks to the window and shuts it. Then he trudges over to his lover's wide and buries his face into it.

"He's gonna be okay…." Tang reassures and the pig demon who lets put a huff through his snout into their chest. Tang kisses the top of Pigsy's head affectionately and that causes them to melt on his hold.

They all were going to be okay.

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess of all Saiyans

 -

 Masterlist

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Hey Everyone! It's been a while. My life's been kind of hectic the past couple of months. Long story short: I Graduated from Highschool this year, so I was busy with everything having to do with that. Then my summer job sadly prevented me from writing as well. And then I started College, which was a big change for me. For now, there are no more chapters in my life opening or closing. Now I'm finally in a place where I feel comfortable continuing this book again. I could've honestly been writing during all of this chaos. But I wouldn't have been pleased with the quality of my writing. I'm really excited to get back into the swing of things. I don't think this chapter panned out the way I originally planned, but I'm still happy with it. As always, I hope you enjoy it. And if you have any comments or concerns, feel free to let me know. My inbox is always open!

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Chapter 11

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You've been walking for quite some time now, and the experience has been excruciating. You haven't been in this much pain since you and Raditz were on planet Telia, ten-something years ago. Those damn underlings were able to get a good sneak attack on you. Though you can't say, you let them get away scot-free. You made sure to make their entire dreadful race pay for that injury. You and Raditz had covered up that incident, much like you're doing with your current injury.

"So---" You can hear Goku talking to Krillin from just slightly left of you. "Did you guys find the senzu beans?" Wow, Kakarot may be the least subtle creature you've ever encountered.

"Ya." Krillin chuckles. "All four of us were in pretty rough shape." Goku glances at you with a worried look on his face. You glare at him as Raditz eyes the two of you skeptically. He knows something's off between the two of you. Maybe something serious did happen while you and his brother were trapped together. 

A bit more time has passed, and you've been trying your best to keep up with the others. But it isn't as easy as you thought. You're now trailing behind the rest of them, with Raditz turning back to look at you every so often. The largest Saiyan slows down to catch up with your slower pace, now walking beside you.

He turns to you, whispering in a low tone. "Something's off." Raditz can no longer stay silent about his concerns. First, it was the strange vibes between you and Kakarot. And now it's your out-of-character demeanor making him uneasy.

"About what?"

"You. Typically you walk beside your brother, and when he doesn't let you, you make sure you're always only a few paces behind. But right now, you couldn't be more content to trail everyone. Plus, you're far too confident to not be in the very front." Raditz has been around far too long for your liking. Damn him. He knows you far too well, and you hate him for it.

You roll your eyes at him. "So this conclusion of yours is based on the way I'm walking? I'm tired. When I fought, Burter, that physically drained me. And then I got trapped in a ditch with your moronic brother, that mentally drained me. I'm exhausted, Raditz." 

"It's not just the way you're walking. It's your mannerisms as well." He points at your side. "Your hand hasn't moved from your side from the moment I first saw you."

"God, Raditz." You scoff. "Stop overanalyzing everything."

"Getting defensive now? That's your M.O whenever you're hiding something." He looks back and forth between your face and your hand that has remained glued to your side. The gears in the older Saiyan's head slowly but surely turning. " Y/N, are you hurt?" 

"No." You snap your eyes shut, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to suppress a wince of pain. "I'm fine."

He tilts his head at you. "Y/N, I know you claim otherwise, but I'm not stupid. I know you're in pain."

You chuckle softly in a self-pitying way. "Am I that easy to read?"

Raditz shakes his head, smiling to himself. "No, I've just known you for a long time now." He returns to his serious demeanor, his gaze returning to the area of your wound. "How bad is it?"

"I barely feel it at all. Though, climbing out of that ditch must have reopened the cut."

Raditz snickers. "You're a bad liar."

"That's strange. I've been told in the past that I'm quite good at lying."

A smirk spreads across Raditz's lips. "Well, you apparently aren't when I'm involved."

The larger Saiyan glances at the back of your brother's head. You respond with a glare, firmly pulling on a large chunk of his hair. You know what Raditz wants to do, and it's not happening. "Don't even think about it."

"I-I think we should tell him Y/N."

"No." You let go of his hair, tapping his chest with extreme force. "You're going to keep your big mouth shut. Vegeta will freak out. You know how irrational he gets."

Raditz decides to let you have your way--- for now. The man can't help but wonder why you're so stubborn, but then again, his nature isn't much different from yours.

With every minute that passes, your condition only seems to worsen. Your eyes even start to droop. "Y/N?" Raditz turns to you, his features beginning to fill with worry. He places one of his large hands on your forehead. You're burning up. "You have a fever. Your wound must be infected."

"No." You shake your head in disagreement, almost like a child. As your mental state becomes more and more delirious. 

"Vegeta!" Raditz shouts, gaining your brother's attention.

"Fuck you, Raditz! You're such a blabbermouth!" You shout at the larger Saiyan in front of you.

"What's wrong this time? Is my sister trying to pull you into another one of her elaborate schemes?"

"Y/N's hurt--- bad." Vegeta's eyes widen, and not even a millisecond later, he rushes to your side. "She has a fever. I think her cut is infected."

"Where is it?" He crosses his arms at you, noticing your hand placed firmly on your side. He moves your hand out of the way with ease, lifting your armor. "How did this happen?"

"Burter nicked me during our fight. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? It's infected, you stupid woman!" He turns his attention to Kakarot. "Did you know about this?"

You snicker. "Oh ya, Vegeta. I get hurt, and the first person I run to tell is Kakarot." Vegeta's fists clench at your sarcastic remark, turning his fit of rage back at you.

"You know, in certain situations, you're more prone to infections. And a planet like Namek checks all of the boxes! You know you need to be more careful. Damn our mother and her faulty genetics!" Sadly that's a trait you had inherited from your mother. On most planets, you'd be fine, and injuring yourself would be no big deal. But Namek has specific conditions that result in you being more vulnerable. 

"Raditz, pick her up." Raditz picks you up, giving you a piggyback ride. You wrap your arms around his neck, giving yourself better balance. Vegeta glances up at you. He looks even madder than usual. "With the condition, you're in, you will not be fighting. You will stay away from Jeice, and you won't even enter the same proximity as Ginyu. Do you understand me?"

"But--"

"No!" His voice booms, gaining the attention of every creature for miles. "I'm not kidding around. Do you understand me?"

You bite your lip, tilting your head downwards, avoiding your brother's gaze like the plague. "Yes, Vegeta." Vegeta returns to the front of the group, his mood sourer than ever.

As Raditz begins to walk, he starts talking to you again. "Are you mad at me?" You don't verbally respond. Instead, you claw into his shoulders, your nails digging into his flesh. "Fuck. I'll take that as a yes."

"You're a tattletale."

Raditz chuckles. "No wonder why Vegeta babies you. You'll thank me for this later, you stubborn woman. And I've kept your secrets before, handfuls of them, actually. Like what happened on planet Telia----" Raditz realized the grave mistake he had just made, mentioning that incident in the presence of the very being you worked so hard to hide it from.

You slap the older Saiyan upside the head as Vegeta turns backward, a scowl plastered on his face. "What happened on plant Telia?" It was a rhetorical question, mocking both you and Raditz. "Oh, the three of us will be discussing this in length later. Because it sounds to me like you both lied to me on that initial report." You and Raditz gulp, you've heard that tone from your brother millions of times now, and it has never once become any less terrifying. 

"Oh, lighten up, Geta." You groan. "That was like, what? Around thirteen years ago?"

"The amount of time that has passed matters very little to me. As I said before, this is a discussion for later."

A few more hours have passed, which honestly feels like days at this point. And considering Namek's strange day cycle, it very well could've been. "How much farther?" Your question was clearly directed at Vegeta. And at this point, you're not even sure he has any idea where you're headed either.

"I don't know why you're the one complaining." Raditz huffs.  "You're not the one doing all of the walking! And if you ask him that one more time, I'm going to drop you." Ok so maybe, that wasn't the first time you've asked that question today. Or the second, or third, you're very bored. 

"Man Raditz." You roll your eyes, which are barely open at this point. "You sure complain--- a lot."

"You were just complaining." The long-haired Saiyan grumbles. 

"No, I simply asked Vegeta a question. There's a difference Raditz. I know it's hard for your feeble mind to understand." When you're sick, you tend to act, oh what's the word? Bitcher than normal. And that's saying a lot.

Raditz clenches his jaw. "Vegeta. I need a break from your sister."

"That's how I felt ninety percent of the time I was stuck in a room with you, Nappa, and Cado. And you didn't see me running to wine to Frieza about it."

Before Raditz can retort, your brother interjects. "That's enough! From both of you!"

Krillin, Gohan, and Goku have identical bewildered expressions on their faces. Krillin turns to Vegeta, lowering his voice to a whisper. He doesn't want to be the next victim of your wrath. "Do they always fight like this?" The human finds this perplexing. Back on Earth, the pair seemed inseparable. They appeared to be the Saiyan equivalent of what on Earth would be considered best friends.

Vegeta lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Yes, but typically it's more playful in nature. When my sister is sick, she becomes even brattier than usual."

Vegeta's warning to both of you seems to have fallen on dead ears. Because your quarrel has not ceased, in fact, it has only elevated. "I will drop you, you royal brat!"

"I dare you to you second-class runt. I could still kick your ass even in my delirious state. I wouldn't even have to try very hard."

"I'm considering----"

Before Raditz can even get three words out, your bickering is once again interrupted, and not by the person you may think. "Enough!" Gohan shouts. You honestly forgot the others were here for a moment."If you two keep fighting like this, you're going to get all of us killed!" You and Raditz stare at the boy in shock. It's been a long time since the two of you have been yelled at by a child. The last time being when you were children yourselves. Vegeta hasn't changed much since childhood. He's been bossing you around and shouting at you since you were children, but I'm sure that's not very surprising. 

"Ya, and I can take Y/N---- if you need a break." Goku rubs the back of his neck, chuckling sheepishly. "Not that I want to hold Y/N or anything."

"No." You rapidly shake your head. "Raditz, I'm sorry. I'll be good now--- I promise."

A wicked grin spreads across Raditz's lips right before he grabs your hands with his larger ones. He loosens your grip around his neck, moving your body with ease, scooping you up into his arms. Every step Raditz takes toward Goku seems even more antagonizing slower than the last. Until he's standing directly in front of his younger brother. He elevates his arms slightly, dropping you right in front of an unsuspecting Goku.

Lucky for you, Goku has sharp reflexes. That allows the Saiyan to catch you easily. Raditz look's his brother dead in the eyes, his typical arrogant grin still on his lips. "She's your problem now, Kakarot." Raditz gazes downward to look at you. "Stop pouting. Maybe next time, you'll be nicer to good old Raditz."

A low growl echoes in the back of your throat as you glare daggers at the Saiyan standing before you. "Ya, or maybe next time, I'll rip out your tail and strangle you with it!" The only thing that's stopping you from lunging at Raditz is Goku's firm grip holding you in place.

Rather than arguing that the entire group has become accustomed to, the whole area has become dead silent. You're no longer pouting. Instead, you are glaring at the man who continues to carry you bridal style. You've never liked being held like this. It makes you feel weak like you have no control over your own body.

What makes you even more irritated, Is how Goku reacts to your death stare. He just grins at you. Does he just never get angry? What kind of Saiyan is he? It fills you with so much anger that someone as dopey as Kakarot has Saiyan blood flowing through his veins. 

You clench your fists. You just wanna punch Kakarot so badly. He just has such a punchable face. If you could take away his cheery personality, he'd actually be quite attractive. Wait--- what the hell are you thinking? Kakarot is stupid and way too friendly for you to ever think of him in that way.

 You move your fist up, finally giving in to your urges, attempting to punch the man holding you. Probably not your wisest moment, but your brain isn't functioning normally right now. Goku catches your hand with ease. His reflexes are unreal, or maybe this fever has you more sluggish than you believed. You'd prefer to think that it's the second option. He chuckles to himself. He's still not upset. What the hell is wrong with him? "Come on, Y/N. You gotta be quicker than that." He's challenging you. How Saiyan like of him. You seem to always be able to find specks of Saiyan nature in the cheerful man. And those are the aspects you actually like about him. 

Your eyes begin to once again feel heavy as your eyes droop shut, just before you fall asleep in the arms of your enemy. 

Twenty-Something Years Ago:

You're sitting on your bed, sitting crisscrossed, a book laying open on your lap. Since your father is currently off-planet, you can read all you want. You're enamored with your newest book. It's all about a topic referred to as diplomacy. It's fascinating and has many concepts that are entirely foreign to you, yet at the same time, some of these ideas are also familiar. 

As you read, your door slams open, but you pay the interruption almost no attention, not even bothering to look up from your book. Honestly, the unwelcome intrusion has you more angered than anything else. "God, Vegeta." You roll your eyes. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Something's not right. When Vegeta usually bursts into your room, he's automatically shouting at you.

Out of pure curiosity, you look up from your book. However, standing at your door, you don't find Vegeta. A boy with a very similar appearance but with a much smaller stature stands in your door frame. He's out of breath, desperately huffing for air. "Tarble?" You furrow your brows at your brother, launching off your bed to get closer to him. "What's wrong?" You have this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your twin has never behaved in such a manner before. 

"Captain--- Captain Ginyu is here." Tarble is shaking, his eyes watering slightly.

You scowl ever so slightly. "But Ginyu's not scheduled to be on planet Vegeta any time soon." 

"It's--- It's a surprise visit. What do we do, Y/N?"

You contemplate for a moment before your features fill with alarm. "Tarble? Where's Vegeta?"

His lip quivers as he looks down at the floor. "He's with Captain Ginyu."

"Damn it." You mutter under your breath. Diplomacy is a skill you need right now. And Vegeta doesn't have a single quality that a diplomat possesses. Your elder brother is more likely to unnecessarily provoke the Captain, putting your entire race in hot water with the Frieza Force. 

You rush over to your bedside table, rummaging through the drawer. Once you have your scouter in your hand, you run back over to your brother. "Stay in here, and use this to channel our father. Let him know what's going on." You push past your twin, about to leave, before Tarble's voice calls out to you.

"Wait, Y/N!" You turn back to look at him. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go stop our older brother from doing something stupid. Everything will be fine, I promise. Just calm down and do as I said." And with that, you take off, praying that Vegeta hasn't already done something rash.

As you sprint down the halls of the palace, you run face-first into the torso of a large body. "Princess?"

You look up at the bald Saiyan, the one who's supposed to be at your brother's side at all times. Since the future king of planet Vegeta needs to be protected. "Nappa, Where is my brother?"

The imbecile scratches the back of his neck, contemplating much longer for your liking. "I'm not sure. I haven't seen the runt in quite some time. You should probably ask Vegeta." 

You scowl at the Saiyan. "Not Tarble, you fool! I'm asking you where Vegeta is!"

"Oh, Why didn't you just say so?" It's taking every ounce of restraint you have in your body to not viciously attack Nappa. "He's just outside of the palace." 

You run through Nappa, intentionally knocking the large Saiayn onto the floor. His stupidity lost you precious time. It was quite an amusing sight, though. A mere child, being able to take down one of your father's best warriors. 

You arrive outside of the palace, your eyes landing on your target. This is the first time you've ever seen Captain Ginyu. Sure, you've heard stories of the purple man. And much like your people, Ginyu is just as bloodthirsty and just as ruthless. Much to your surprise, the Captain doesn't have an army behind him. This was just before the Ginyu Force had formed. All Ginyu was at this point in time was a captain of one of Frieza's many armies. 

You walk over to them, now standing at your brother's side. "Captain Ginyu." You speak with your hands, an exaggerated smile appearing on your lips. "To what do we owe the honor?"

The man looks down at you, clearly analyzing you with his scouter. "Well, if this isn't a surprise. I think this is the first time I've had the pleasure of meeting you, Y/N." Ginyu extends his large hand out to you, causing Vegeta to feel a great deal of alarm. Your brother's body has gone tense with an apprehensive look on his face. But when your older brother looks over to you, there isn't even a glint of fear in your eyes. You're calm, almost as if one of Lord Frieza's deadliest warriors was not standing before you. You accept the Captain's hand, presenting him with a short but polite handshake. "Your father doesn't like showing you off much, does he?" 

You chuckle softly. "My father likes to hold his cards close to his chest. I'm sure a man like yourself is quite similar." Sucking up to Ginyu is not your favorite pastime, but it needs to be done. And every Saiyan on this planet knows your big brother is far too prideful to do it himself.

Ginyu looks between you and Vegeta carefully. For someone so highly regarded by Frieza, he sure isn't subtle. He's trying to read your facial expressions. Unfortunately for him, your father has raised you both much better than that. A poker face to you feels more natural than a genuine expression. "Speaking of your father, where is he right now?"

"He's of---"

You quickly cut Vegeta off. "He's in a meeting. That's why our father sent me out. He wanted you to know he sends his regards, but his hands are tied at the moment. He will be here at soon as possible. I hope my brother and I can suffice your needs in the meantime."

Captain Ginyu eyes you skeptically, tilting his head at you ever so slightly. "That sounds serious. I hope it's nothing too pressing."

"Of course not. It's nothing my father can't handle."

You're about to continue your schmoozing, but you're stopped by Vegeta aggressively yanking on your arm. "We need to talk-- in private."

You grimace at your brother's words. He just always has to make everything that much more difficult for you. You turn back to Ginyu, offering the man a cheerful smile. "Will you excuse us for a moment? We'll be right back."

Vegeta drags you around a corner, concealing you both from Ginyu's prying eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" He huffs at you in a whisper. "I had everything under control."

You snicker, crossing your arms. "You were just about to tell Ginyu that our father was off-planet. It sounds to me like I got here just in time to prevent you from making a grave mistake."

"I don't see why that matters."

"And that's the issue, Vegeta. Now we don't have time for this. Let's go." You turn back around, walking back over to Ginyu, Vegeta trailing not far behind. "I'd like to apologize for my brother's rudeness, Captain Ginyu." You shake your head but with a slight smirk across your lips. "All Saiyan men are the same, and my brother is no exception. They're incredibly thickheaded and quite savage. I'm convinced they don't even realize what brutes they are." You watch your brother ball his hands up into fists from beside you. It fills you with an immense feeling of joy knowing you're getting under Vegeta's skin for once. You turn back to Ginyu, plastering that disingenuous grin on your face. "Now, how about we give you a tour of our wonderful planet?"  

You and Vegeta have shown Ginyu around almost the entirety of your planet, and you must admit you're beginning to grow worried. Luckily you've managed to hold off any more questions about your father's whereabouts by charming him with various facts about planet Vegeta. But to be honest, you're not sure how much longer you can hold up this charade for. You've exhausted pretty much every idea that you've been able to come up with.

"Captain Ginyu!" Your father's brash voice invades your ears as you turn around to finally see the man you've been anxiously waiting for. You've never seen your father walk in such an urgent manner, and it's pretty funny watching your twin struggling to keep up with your father's pace. 

Your father places himself between you and Vegeta, ruffling your hair affectionately. You look up at him. "How'd your meeting go?"

Your father meets your gaze, catching onto your deception almost immediately. "It went very well. Thank you both for keeping Captain Ginyu company in my absence, but I think I can handle it from here." He directs his attention back onto Captain Ginyu. "Now, how about we discuss you're abrupt arrival somewhere more private."

The two men exit your field of view, leaving the three of you alone. Tarble, in his typical fashion, glues himself to your side. "What the hell was that?" Vegeta spits out with venom. "Where was your pride? You were basically groveling at his feet."

You furrow your brows at him. "I was doing what needed to be done. And if you think our father isn't currently doing the same thing, you're a bigger fool than I thought."

"I know our father is being more agreeable with him, but not at the cost of his pride."

"It's always about pride with you." You step closer to Vegeta, closing the distance between you. "Your pride today would have cost the loss of countless lives today, Vegeta."

"Then so be it. If there are Saiayn's that inadequate on our planet, we should probably just exterminate them now. It'll save us the hassle later on."

You snicker, shaking your head at Vegeta. "Some King you'll be." You turn to your twin. "Let's go, Tarble. I have no desire to be near our foolish brother right now."

The conversation between Captain Ginyu and your father was brief. It was a very anticlimactic ending to the naked eye. The briefness of this encounter only set off more alarm bells in King Vegeta's head. It was clear to the man that Ginyu's excuse for being on his planet was bullshit. He's just not quite sure what the captain's intentions were, but he sure as hell is going to find out.

As soon as Ginyu left planet Vegeta, he promptly set course for his next destination. He's headed straight to Lord Frieza to report his findings, and he's eager to do so.

 Ginyu arrives on the planet in record time, heading straight for the throne room. Ginyu kneels before Frieza, waiting for his boss to speak. "Captain Ginyu. You're sure back early. I trust you were able to gather enough information on the young prince."

Captain Ginyu nods enthusiastically. "Of course, Lord Frieza. The Price was exactly the same as the previous data we collected on him. He's powerful and quite intelligent for a Saiyan. Though, he did inherit that nasty temper from his father."

Frieza sighs. "How disappointing."

"But I did discover something that you may find interesting, Lord Frieza."

Frieza tilts his head at the man. He can't help but feel intrigued. "Go on." It's not that easy for him to find an advantage over those monkeys, so he'll take any information Ginyu can give him, no matter how minuscule. 

"Y/N--- King Vegeta's daughter piqued my interest greatly. She's not even close to as strong as her brother, but she's remarkably clever. She's very good with words, she knows how to manipulate people. I'd say she might even be better than King Vegeta himself."

"Now, that is fascinating. Good work, Ginyu. I'll look into the Princess's abilities more in-depth later. You're excused."

-

This is just something I felt the need to clarify: So in this chapter's flashback, Vegeta is around three, and Y/N and Tarble are about two. In my head, I picture children on planet Vegeta behaving like miniature adults. My idea is once they leave their chambers (the tanks they are raised in to get their basic Saiyan instincts under control), their minds are fully grown, but their physical growth is quite delayed. That's why they curse and stuff. I have a minuscule window of time to squash in all of my plot ideas. So this was the best way to do so.

[starbuckie]

𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤

challenge: time travel challenge by @justagirlinafandomworld​

prompt: “we’re divorced?” 

pairing: sirius black x reader

words: 5.7k words

warnings: FOURTH WALL BREAK!!(sorry im very excited about that), lots of angst, almost smut(hehe), sirius lowkey has a breeding kink, sirius is an asshole for a bit, the smallest bit of fluff, fix-it, and the same time travel theory as back to the future

summary: an unnatural occurrence lets a woman go back in time to try and change everything she’s known for the past twenty years.

a/n: wow, i normally don’t write for harry potter so this was a nice change. anyways, this is for yvette’s time travel writing challenge, and everybody say HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! i’m so sorry this is late, it got deleted and i needed to re-edit, but i truly appreciate your friendship and your lovely, amazingly beautiful self, and I’m so so glad that we became friends :)  this fic is not beta-read at all, so if you see any mistakes tell me, but otherwise i really hope you enjoy this fic<3

main masterlist || harry potter masterlist

It still wasn’t over. After all she had lost, more specifically everyone she had lost, and the shitty cycle that she had to call her life, it still wasn’t over. The people she had watched the life drain from, the screams of those suffering from the loss caused by the Dark Lord, and yet life still hadn’t had its fill of torturing Y/N. Grimmauld Place felt empty without the kids, without the Weasleys, but they had gone back to their home and soon enough she would have to as well. Harry had gone back to Hogwarts with Dumbledore, though she’d argued to hold onto him just a bit longer after-

After Sirius had died. 

Time had passed, maybe two or three weeks, but no matter what the woman couldn’t bring herself to get out of Sirius’ old bedroom, simply staring at the ceiling with her tears at bay. Her and Sirius had been a complicated thing, to say the least, a topic nobody had brought up since 1983, when she had banned it. Not as if there was much to talk about after the divorce and Sirius going to Azkaban. After Lily and James had died, after she had fought with Dumbledore for custody of Harry, after she had become a professor at Beauxbatons and moved to France without a second thought. Sirius had been locked up after he’d hurt her in the worst possible way, and Y/N’s heartbroken soul found no other reason to return to England. 

But, she pushed those bad memories to the back of her mind. It seemed so trivial, looking back on it. Not the broken house, of course, that had been his own mistake. But Y/N had many regrets, all of them seeming to revolve around the mischievous black-haired man who she had fallen in love with as a teen. The night it went down, the night their relationship had fractured at the seams and fallen down, was her greatest one however. It had been so stupid, so, so stupid, but they’d both gotten caught up in the moment, and Y/N had let him die without knowing how much she was sorry for that night that they let their fears consume them. 

The cries that she had tried so hard to contain finally broke free from the restraints of her heart. “I’m so sorry, Siri,” she whispered into the air, “I couldn’t save you this time.” As the hot, salty tears ran down her cheeks, Y/N shuffled across the room, letting her feet drag her to the old Black family room, the dark green walls embracing her rainy emotions. 

A little gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the portraits among the wall. The Black family tree was faded along the age-old wall, but what she was really looking for was the burned out image of her raven-haired love. There, right next to Regulus, was a black spot, scorned and scarred by the prestigious family for being a blood traitor. Y/N smiled and traced the burn with her finger, remembering their fourth year when she had accompanied him home for the holidays so he wouldn’t be completely alone in the hellhole he had to call his house. Sirius had snuck them up to this room and spent the night talking in hushed whispers sworn secrets. “I’ll be yours forever, Siri, and I’m sorry for fighting with you. I wish-” she sniffled, glaring at the spot in the wall as she tried to garble out her words, “I wish, I could go back in time, and just fix it. Just me and you, and that stupid night, with the bloody fight about children because you deserve it all, darling.”

“Ah, I think you can.” 

Y/N turned around, her eyes wide with fear. That was not Kreacher’s voice. There stood a younger woman, around nineteen, a scroll of paper and a quill in her hand. There was a whisper of a smirk on her face, brown eyes glittering even in the dimness in the room. “Who the hell are you?” Y/N looked at the door, which was still closed as she left it. She cast her wand out, pointing it at the stranger who did nothing but smile. “How did you get in here? Are you with the Lord?”

“With Voldemort?” The woman simply laughed. “Dude, I’m not with ‘the Lord’,” she added with air quotations. “Also I’m not really even here, so don’t you worry about that. My name’s Malia.”

Malia held her hand out, but Y/N kept her guard up. “You’re American. What brings you here? Are you a muggle?”

“Oh, nope, not a wizard, I’m just the author of this story.” Malia confided. “I’m here to tell you that you can fix this.”

“Fix… what?” Malia just rolled her eyes and sighed, staring up towards the ceiling as she spoke.

“God, did I write you to be hard of hearing now, too? I ought to fix that when I get back.” The woman blankly stared at the strange girl, wondering what the actual fuck she was talking about. “I can give you the chance to go back in time, Y/N. It won’t be for long, it’s really not gonna be interesting for more than two hours at most, but that should be enough time to tell the gang about what’s to come with Voldemort.”

“Like... time travel?” Y/N asked. The only way she knew how to time travel was the time turners. “But all of the ti-”

“Time turners were destroyed in the Department of Mysteries, I know, I know. Trust me, I’ve read Harry Potter more times than I’ve said ‘I love you’ to my parents.” Malia smiled. “I’m the author, I make the rules, and my rule is that I’m giving you two hours in 1978 to talk to Sirius so he can fix the emotional fucking mess left behind by J.K. Rowling.”

“Who’s J.K. Rowling?” Malia shuddered at the name.

“A raggedy-ass, transphobic bitch who wrote y’all into existence, but she’s not of importance right now.” She checked the small, rectangular box in her hand, which glowed and provided little light in the darkened room. “Let’s see, it’s currently eleven-forty, so you have until one-forty to find the Marauders and fix this future. It may not be fixed in the books in the future, but if you are able to do it here that’s all that matters.” Malia’s brown eyes were downcast, her bright and loud personality dimming for just a moment before returning to Y/N’s confused gaze once more. “Try not to screw up too much while you’re there, just enough that you defeat the Dark Lord the first time. Tell Sirius all you know and that should be enough for him to fix all the mistakes, but do not under any circumstances let him or anyone else know who you are. I wish you luck, Y/N, it was nice to meet ya in person.” 

And with a peace sign in front of her face, she disappeared into a flash of neon pink light. 

“Bloody hell! Fix my future? Talk to Sirius? If this even is time travel, then how am I supposed to get there- AH!” Y/N’s body felt like it was turning inside out, her guts being torn from her stomach and back into it again. A delirious giggle arose from her lips in the black void she was pulled into, and a soft chatter could be heard, like voices at the end of a tunnel. 

“Blimey, looks like we got ourselves a nutter on school grounds.” Y/N’s arms flailed around, desperately seeking some sort of grounding surface to hold on to when her back hit a rough surface. There was an audible crack somewhere in her body, but she felt so sick that she couldn’t tell where. 

“Are you okay, ma’am? You just appeared from the sky and hit the ground.” Warm, brown eyes met Y/N’s, a familiar mess of black curls resting atop of the boy’s head. Large, rounded glasses sat perched on the tip of his nose, and an impish smile, one she used to know so well before he died, met his lips. 

“James,” she sighed. The boy stared at her strangely, and only then did she notice the three other boys and girls each behind them. Remus, Peter, Sirius, Lily, Marlene, and Alice. 

Sirius.

The sight that met her eyes made her nearly emotional. It had technically been only three weeks since she had seen him, but here was the young boy she had fallen in love with. The one who charmed her with his smart words and witty retorts to her brush-offs, who used to hold her in his arms in the most intimate and gentle ways. His grey eyes sparkled with curiosity, the infamous Marauder mischief swirling within the silvery pools.  

Seeing him so young tugged at her heartstrings, and though she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms and never let go, a small, niggling feeling at the back of her head held her back. Was there something wrong?

“You know me?” Oh right, she was currently thirty-five. Looking around she noticed that she was outside the quidditch pitch, and there were other students, staring at her with widened eyes. No one knew she was Y/N L/N, their fellow schoolmate and probably one of the very few of them that survived the Death Eaters attacks. None of them were aware how it ended, or how it was currently going for them back in 1996, and in this time there was the first Wizarding War going on and they had every right to be terrified for their lives.

James now took a more defensive stance, standing tall and holding his wand out. “Who are you?”

She couldn’t give him the answer, instead letting her mouth gape open as she stared at him with wide eyes. Y/N looked across the grounds for the nearest exit, which was down by Hagrid’s hut and into the Forbidden Forest. It was her only choice at this point, to hide in the dark, creepy space, maybe just until the students went away so she could find Sirius and talk to him alone. It’d be hard to separate him from the boys, but if Lily were occupied with James it sure would be easy. 

Her younger, seventh-year self didn’t seem to be in the audience, thank Merlin, and with that knowledge, she got up and ran, ignoring her screaming muscles. That time travel really did a number on her. 

As she ran through the crowd, shoving people aside, she heard the students mutter, too much in shock and disarray to stop the crazy, old woman who knew James Potter.

“This is dodgy.”

“Someone ought to tell Dumbledore about this.”

“She kinda looks like Y/N L/N.’

“Don’t insult the poor girl like that, that wonker is ages old.”

“Come back here! Who the bloody hell are you?” Y/N’s heart beat quickly in her chest, threatening to burst out. Only three minutes in the past and it was all going straight to shit. “Stupefy!”

Shit. “No, James, please don’t-“ Her body hit the ground and her eyes closed, the last thing she saw being the pumpkin patch by the hut.

-

“I see you’re awake now, Ms. L/N.” Dumbledore stood above Y/N in the hospital ward bed, his grey beard dangling in front of her face. Her first instinct was to start blaming him for everything that had happened, starting from Lily and James’ deaths to Sirius’, already opening her mouth to call him an old, senile cow, but then she realized that Harry hadn’t been sent to the Dursleys yet, much less been born yet, so none of it would have an effect on him. Y/N’s second instinct was to question how Dumbledore knew who she was in 1978, but her former Headmaster started to speak before she could do so. “I must admit, it’s very courageous, that stunt you just pulled. I don’t think Ms. Louie will be too happy about that.” Y/N sent him a questioning stare. “Malia, the girl you met earlier. Malia Louie.”

“Headmaster Dumbledore, how did you know it was me?” She was dressed in a white gown that went to her knees, and behind him she could see her blouse and jeans folded and clean. Ah, the Hospital Wing. She had brought the boys here more times than she could count in her years at Hogwarts. “I don’t exactly look as young as I used to.”

“Ah, don’t worry Ms. L/N, you’ve kept your good looks quite nicely, even in your older age.” He stroked his beard thoughtfully, his wrinkled eyes sparkling with joy. “And speaking of young, if you are still worrying yourself about your younger self, you can put that to a stop. I am aware that you are not able to tell anyone who you are, and time travel is exceptionally dangerous if you are seen by the other version of yourself. I’ve already told the students that you were just a stray witch, misguided in your ways and that you were well taken care of. However, I think that brings us to the question of what your intentions are in the past, Ms. L/N.”

“Headmaster, I don’t think I can tell you about my business here. I’ve already messed up by letting the school see me by letting everyone see me, I don’t know why that girl even sent me here, it’s clear that this was a mistake.” Y/N sat up on the headboard, feeling her eyes fill with tears once again. The tall arches of windows let the sun in the room, and she could see the specks of dust swirling around in the golden light. It had to be close to the end of the year for them, maybe sometime around April or May, near the end of N.E.W.T.s at least. She could imagine that it’d be easy for her to get out of Hogwarts for the day, with all the students studying for the stressful exams in the library, maybe she'd make her way to Hogsmeade and walk around or visit Hagrid under a false name to have some tea. He was always open for a nice cuppa with strangers on any free day he had. “Thank you Headmaster, for your kindness, but I really ought to be going. I-it was nice to see you.”

Y/N started to help herself out of the bed, swinging her feet over to touch the cool stone ground. Bones cracked with pain and fatigue, her muscles stretching sluggishly. Merlin, that she was not expecting that much hurt from the fall, but she should have never underestimated James Potter. No one ever should if they want to keep their good mind and sanity. 

Dumbledore handed her her clothes, cracked lips set in a straight line as he nodded solemnly. “I hope you accomplish whatever it is you are here to do, Ms. L/N, but I have no doubt that you will.” With a sly wink, he added, “You were always one of our most ardent and bright students.”

Y/N let herself smile, and with a wave, swiftly brought herself to the door. “Thank you, Headmaster.”

After slipping outside, she ran down the corridors, echoes of her feet ringing lightly behind her. The courtyard proved to be empty and she quickly ducked behind a column and tugged her jeans on hastily, making sure that no professors came walking past. Though the sky proved to be bright and cheerful, a slight breeze carried through, making her fall off balance and fall on the cemented ground. 

“Are you okay, darling? You look like you’re in need of a little help.” Y/N looked up to the speaking figure, one that she both loved and dreaded to see. 

She gathered herself quickly, her mind running fast and heart beating out of her chest as she tried to get out. “Yes, I am okay, thank you for asking. I think I’ll just get up and going now, I don’t need to take time out of your day like this-”

“I know who you are, Y/N.” 

Y/N came to a full stop, going against her brain that screamed at her to run away. Sirius looked downtrodden, his grey eyes watering despite the small hint of a smirk on his face. Though he was always one for playing around and not taking anything seriously, she knew when it was time to stop pretending and get real. “How’d you know it was me, Sirius?”

“You really don’t look bad for your age, darling.” He offered her a hand to help her up and she took it graciously, eyeing him nearly guiltily and forgetting about her promise to Y/N. But that was useless now, this moment with her first love was much more important. “Also you have the tattoo on your chest. I knew it was you the moment you landed on school grounds.”

She traced his gaze to her left collarbone, where a paw print, just barely visible beneath her low-cut blouse, sat. It was his, or Snuffles’, paw print, and at this point in time they had probably gotten it done about three months before. He had one for her too, a horseshoe for her horse patronus, right on his left side of his chest too. So they’d always be right next to each other’s hearts, as cheesy as it seemed.

But they were dumb, lovesick teenagers, and they acted the part well too. Their love was all-consuming, shagging in under the bleachers at the quidditch pitch and making out under the stars. It was fast, everything was fast, decisions, ideas, classes, all of them under the impression that they had to do everything right then or they’d be dead before they got to actually live. They had dreams of marriage, and a big, big family, obviously so far away from his family so they could never hurt their children’s lives the way they had hurt his. 

They were fantasies, Y/N had known that well enough when she and Sirius got divorced, but it was something that eighteen year-old Sirius Black held close to his heart. No matter how shitty his life got, he was always a firm believer in a happy ending. In their happy ending. 

“How am I right now?” They now stood over the Black Lake, staring into the glittering depths of the water where some mermaids could be seen sneaking peeks at the handsome boy and the strange lady who had fallen from the sky. 

Sirius stared at her questioningly for a moment. “How are you doing right now? I mean, I believe that I should be asking you that ques- oh, Merlin, I’m such a git, you meant your younger self.” Y/N laughed at that, her heart lifting with the goofiness of the old Sirius relieving an ache in her heart that she had had for so long. Not that old (it felt weird to say that) Sirius had been anything less than silly and snarky, but it was never directed towards her. It was nice to have the resemblance of their old relationship back, even if it was just for a fleeting moment. “I suppose that you’re okay. You didn’t see, well, your big moment on the field, but at this point Lily has probably opened her big, fat mouth and told you. N.E.W.T.s are just finishing up, so you’re much more light-hearted than during the study season.”

“I really did have a stick up my arse during exam time, you always told me to loosen up-” 

“Y/N, cut out the small talk, I think it’s okay for me to ask how and what is happening.” Sirius cut in.

So she told him. Y/N had always been upfront with people about everything. Or rather, she had learned how to be upfront with people after her and Sirius’ divorce. Without details of the deaths, she explained how she was sent back into the past to fix it in some conceivable way. However, she did tell him about the fall out. Maybe she wanted him to understand her pain, even though it was a younger him, but she had to admit to herself that it was because she just wanted Sirius, in whatever form life gave her to hear out her grievances and apologies. 

Since her Sirius was dead before she could.

“We’re divorced?” Sirius looked about ready to break down into tears, almost as if the concept of them breaking up or separating was foreign to him. “What exactly did we fight over, Y/N? That doesn’t seem normal for the two of us.” Sirius asked.

“Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a normal predicament for us. either…”

Sirius slammed the door shut, efficiently pinning her against it with his white button up ruffled up, navy tie hanging from his neck loosely. Y/N’s arms were held down tightly against the oak wood, the sensation of the cold door burning into her rather warm skin making her squeal. Her husband’s tongue worked its way through her parted lips, low groans rising from the back of his throat from the way she moaned in tandem with his hips pushing into hers. Legs wrapped around his tapered waist, the pink, floral skirt Y/N wore rising high on her thighs, revealing more of her flesh to the lust-filled man. Both of their giggles echoed off the hallway walls of their small cottage home, just four miles west of their best friends’. 

As the twenty year-old man threw his wife unceremoniously on the bed, he shed himself of his shirt and swiftly unbuttoned his slacks, throwing them haphazardly across the room. Merlin, Y/N looked ethereal laying spread out on the bed, panties around her left ankle, swollen lips parted with short puffs of air leaving them. “You just get right down to business, don’t you, Black.” 

Crawling over his body, his hot breath hit her neck as he growled against her skin. “Could say the same thing about you, darling.” Sirius’ lips made their way down every inch, every curve, nook, and cranny of Y/N’s body, smoothly slipping her clothes off as he did so. Her sweet gasps filled the bedroom, back arching off the bed to meet his chest. “I’m going to put a baby in you tonight, sweetheart, we’re-”

Y/N sat up straight, her eyebrows trained in confusion at her husband. “What? A baby?” 

Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest. “Yes.” He remarked in a clipped tone. “Is that not what you wanted?” 

Her mind recalled her words from earlier that day, as she chatted happily with Lily about the news of her pregnancy. “Siri, I said I may one day enjoy having a kid of my own. Not right now, of course, but later. After all, we only got married a few months ago, don’t you think we should hold off a bit on that? We’re twenty years-old, Siri, there’s so many years for that.”

Rage filled Sirius’ blood like a spreading fire. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much about his anger as it was his hurt and fear. Fear that she had realized how fucked up he truly was, fear that she realized what he had known all along- that she deserved better than him. “So you don’t want a baby with me?”

“I never said I didn’t want that, Sirius, I just said that I’m not ready!” Y/N yelled back. At this point both of them stood on opposite sides of the bed, faces hot with tears. “We’re in the middle of a bloody war, people we know, people we love, have lost their lives, and it is not the ideal environment to raise a child, Sirius! Just because James and Lily are ready to have one doesn’t mean that I am too!”

“When will you be ready, Y/N? When will it ever be enough time for you? When will I be enough for you?” The heartbroken girl tried to interject, but her voice was cut off by her husband’s quickly enough. Sirius climbed onto the bed, holding her chin harshly with one hand. “Tell me, did you ever want to be with me in the first place?”

“Yes, Sirius, of course I wanted to be with you.” His heart hurt looking at the love of his life in tears, but even that was able to melt his cold facade. “I love you more than anything in the world.” 

“Then fucking prove it, Y/N.” With that declaration, he removed his hand from her face and gathered his clothes, slamming everything in their shared room as Y/N quivered, knees ready to buckle on the spot. “I’m going out, don’t wait up for me.”  

As soon as the front door shut, she fell to the ground in tears, the laughter that once filled their home replaced with the sound of her shattered heart. 

Y/N had done her best to not tear up during her explanation of the events that had taken that night, but Sirius' eyes watered, refusing to believe the truth. “No. No. I didn’t do that. Y/N, tell me,” he gripped her biceps with trembling hands, “please tell me I didn’t really do that. I can’t believe that I-I, that I-”

“You were drunk, Sirius, I don’t think you truly knew what you were saying at the time.” She sighed, “But people always say that drunken words are just sober thoughts.” Y/N rubbed her arms, just shivering slightly in the Scotland breeze. “You came back two hours later punching the wall and breaking it, and that’s when I knew that we wouldn’t last.” 

The raven-haired boy’s head started to shake, even more mortified of the actions that his future self, the man he’d be in just two years' time, had done. “I packed up my things, not that there were many, we’d only moved into the house a month before, left, and I sent the divorce papers a week later. It was probably better that way, you would’ve divorced me if I hadn’t done it first.” Y/N had gotten used to telling her sob story to colleagues at Beauxbatons, to her family, but it felt different with pre-divorce Sirius. Of course, she had never thought she’d be in this citation either, so no one could really blame her for feeling weird. “You signed them easily, and my lawyer made sure that I never had to see you again.”  Until Lily and James died.

“Until…” Sirius led on.

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius, you’ve always been able to read my mind. Shouldn’t have doubted it for a second.” He smiled at the sentiment, gesturing for her to continue. “I can’t tell you, Sirius, I hope you can understand that.”

“Why, Y/N, what happens that can be any worse in the future?” Oh dear, Sirius, you really do not want the answer to that question. She needed any way out of this conversation, after all running away was what she did best, and her eyes already searched for several routes to which she could run. Not that Y/N could ever outrun Sirius in his animagus form, but it was nice to have the belief that she could. The boy sensed her distress and grabbed hold of her hand. “You don’t have to tell me, darling, but I have to admit that I am a bit worried, just in the slightest.”

Y/N let herself calm down, squeezing Sirius’ hand and noticing his watch. She had actually given him that watch, gold-plated and dark grey metal, but it wasn’t the beauty of the gift that caught her eye, but rather the actual time on it. One-thirty. 

How had that much time gone by so quickly? She was going to be sucked into the black void of time travel again in ten minutes, and that wasn’t nearly enough time to unload nearly twenty years worth of history onto Sirius. No, he would go insane from that much knowledge, which was exactly against what Malia had advised. 

“I don’t have enough time to tell you everything that happens in the future, Sirius. But what I am about to tell you is vital, absolutely vital for the good of all of us in the future.” Sirius nodded with a serious sort of smile on his face. “Don’t let Peter be Lily and James’ secret keeper. When the time comes that they move away, I’m not going to tell you where yet, do not under any circumstances let Peter be their secret keeper. I know he’s one of our best friends right now, and do not tell anyone about this, but he’s going to betray us in the worst way possible.” 

While Sirius was shocked, he nodded solemnly and ran a hand through his long hair. “I won’t tell anyone, Y/N. Can I fix us, Y/N? I don’t know if you should be letting the key to a happier future rest in my hands.”

“I full heartedly trust that you’ll do some good, whatever the outcome may be. As for fixing us, I hope you can, but depending on what happens we’ll just have to wait and see.” She sighed, “If you want my opinion on it, I think that we both should have waited longer to get married. It was right after James and Lily got married, but we aren’t and never will be them. We both had a lot of growing up to do, so I would take it slowly. Communicate your wants and needs in the relationship and in the end it may not even be us together. But I know you, Siri, don’t let this get in the way of your entire life. The most important part is that you tell James and Lily about Peter.”  

She glanced back up the school grounds where students could start to be seen leaving their classes. “You better get back to the castle, Sirius. McGonagall is going to come for your arse and this time the boys aren’t going to be able to cover for you.”

“If they knew where I was, darling, I don’t even think they’d believe me.” Sirius chuckled.

Y/N nodded in agreement and pulled Sirius into a tight hug. “You can do this, sweetheart, and even if you can’t, it will not stop me from loving you any less. Maybe the future wasn’t meant to be changed, but regardless of whether that is true or not, I know that you will try your hardest, Sirius. Just try not to die, okay?”

The boy was still clutching onto her tightly, his tears soaking her rose-colored blouse. “I’ll do my best, darling.”

With one last kiss on the forehead, she smiled at him. “I know you will, Siri.” 

-

Y/N’s arse hit the floor once again, her spine cracking once again. “What’s the year?” She yelled out, reaching for the walls of the black family room. 

But it wasn’t there. Upon opening her eyes, she saw James, Lily, and Sirius sitting at a wooden table in her old white cottage. A nice tea set, her grandmother’s as she realized later, sat in the center, along with a large stack of letters. “Y/N, what the bloody hell happened to you, I’ve been worried sick!” 

Her red-headed best friend scurried over to her, brushing invisible dirt off her shoulders and pulling her up abruptly. James fixed the glasses on his nose, cleaning them off with his striped jumper. “You look a little disheveled right now, Y/N, what ran you over?” 

“You know who she reminds me of right now, Jamie? That crazy witch friend of Dumbledore’s that made her way onto campus back in seventh year.” Lily giggled as she hugged Y/N.

“Merlin’s beard, you’re right!” James walked over to the woman of the hour, ruffling her hair with a smirk on his face. “If you were about twenty years older I’d have no trouble believing you were the same person.”

While Lily and James recalled their memories from the strange woman all those years ago at Hogwarts, Sirius pulled Y/N aside, an arm wrapped around her waist. The warmth radiating from his body was nice, embracing her in a comfort she hadn’t felt in so long.

“I’m going to go ahead and believe that I did something right?” Sirius grabbed her hand, and only then did she notice the coolness of metal sitting on her left ring finger. There sat the single band of gold, a small ruby encased in its plating. She had once joked that diamonds were too overrated, and he went out and got her the most vibrant gem he could find, claiming that it was just like her. But regardless of its shape, size, or type of gem, it was there.

“Yeah, Siri,” Y/N replied with tears in her eyes, “you did good.” 

“Oi, Blacks, stop making out and get over here, we got a letter from Minnie!” James yelled, making both wives chuckle. “Harry’s gotten himself in detention for punching Malfoy again.”

“Oh, thank Merlin, the boy deserves a few more good hits.” Sirius laughed. 

“McGonagall still talks to us?” Y/N asked in amazement. “You’ve got to get me caught up.”

“Don’t worry, darling, we’ve got all the time in the world.” Sirius gently placed his lips onto hers, and for once in nearly twenty years, Y/N felt at peace. There were no more hasty warnings of the future, no psychotic old men coming after her family, no young girls rushing in to tell her how to fix her screwed up life. Cracked, pink lips moving against her own, his tongue delving into her mouth, and Y/N knew she was finally off the clock.

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

I love you in every language of the world, but English ( Nikki x Tommy)

A/N: All of this was born from a conversation between me and @witchy-tombstone-smile​ so a big thank you to this person to be my delirious italian partner in crime!

Summary: Nikki can speak Italian, Tommy can speak Greek but they can’t do one thing: say I love you to each other in English! ( plus Vince calling Mick a bruja)

He was a fucking idiot! What was he thinking?

He was drunk! However, that was not the problem, being drunk and alone with Tommy Lee were the issue there. Look he was Nikki Sixx, he built his reputation on being drunk or high, so he wasn’t worry about being wasted per se, neither he was worried about the dumb shit he could have done because he and Tommy were Terror Twins for a reason, not doing weird shit together would have been the issue… he’s referring to the sappy shit he does whenever his defenses are down.

Such things include randomly hugging Tommy, telling him how much of a good friend he is, yanking him off girls to do crazy shits together and his “favorite” telling Tommy sappy stuff in Italian. He has lost count of how many times he used pets name in Italian without the drummer understood it.

However, now it was much worse because they were alone and Tommy looked so fucking beautiful under the stars with his ever present smile and glossy brown eyes, he wasn’t a romantic type but the other guy changed all his prospective, he didn’t even realize he could like a guy before he knew him.

“C’mon Nikki! Tell me something in Italian, pleaseeee!” Tommy slurred, giggling.

Fuck why he was so adorable when he was an absolute walking idiot?

The bassist knew Italian because his father had Italian origins and he hoped that learning it would have meant connecting to him… yeah it was before he discovered he was an asshole.  What a fucking dumbass he was when he was younger! At least he had the opportunity to meet some amazing Italian-American folks while he was a runaway, so jokes on his dad because the chicks really dig dirty talk in another language.

Tommy loved the fact that he was bilingual, well technically so was the drummer, but he thought his Greek was quire rusty, and he constantly nudged him to say something because “you sound so cool mate! I wish I could speak my Greek that smoothly too.”

He looked the drummer into the eyes, he was always so fucking excited for everything and that only made Nikki feeling even more for him, fuck if only he had the cuts to tell him how he really felt. He wasn’t a coward simply he knew he could never be with Tommy without major consequences, however that doesn’t mean it hurt any less.

“Ti amo idiota.(I love you idiot)” The words left his mouth before he could stop them… fuck, fuck, fuck!!!

“Mh… what does that mean?” Tommy asked confused but with his silly drunk smile.

Great now he was panicking because how he was supposed to tell him that he just admitted to be in love with him?

“It means you are an idiot.” It was such a lame answer but hopefully Tommy was too naïve and drunk to care.

“Oh… then ti amo idiota, too Nikki.” Tommy giggled, but Nikki felt his stomach drop. It felt like the universe was taunting him by having his wonderful Tommy saying I love you to him without even knowing it or meaning it!

He started to feel emotional and fuck was not the alcohol supposed to help with that? It was just so fucking unfair that he was in love with the drummer but they could never be together, no holding hands or kissing or any other sappy bullshit.

Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes and he knew he had to go or otherwise he would have shown his vulnerability and he fucking hated that, he needed to drink so he stood up and quickly followed him.

“Ti amo idiota.” He repeated with a laugh and Nikki wanted to fucking die.

He needed a drink. Now!

- - -

Tommy woke up in Nikki’s room. It wasn’t unusual for the Twins to fall asleep in each other’s rooms when they were too drunk to reach their own, so usually one of them would pass out on the floor and now was Tommy’s turn.

He couldn’t help but staring the bassist who was sleeping on the bed, he was head over heels for him but he would never admit it. Sure he was all love all the time but  with Nikki it was different, he meant too much to him to potentially ruin everything by confessing his crush, so instead he was rotting into this unrequited love pain that made him jealous and angry.

Why couldn’t he be just like his parents that fell in love as soon as they met each other? No he had to suffer. They didn’t even speak the same language and they manage to get married meanwhile he knew Nikki for a while now but couldn’t have found the courage to tell him the truth. Sure he wouldn’t give up but he wasn’t sure how long he could still resist.

However, something else was on his mind too, Nikki seemed acting weird all the previous night, especially after he asked to him to say something in Italian. It’s like his eyes dimmed for a moment after he said that to him, could it be because speaking in Italian reminds him of his dad? It didn’t seem like that, there must be something else going on for sure, but what?

Tommy knew a thing or two about using another language to say stuff you don’t have the guts to say in English… It’s not like he wrote silly nicknames in Greek for Nikki whenever he had to leave a note for him about buying stuff or that he went outside. Sometimes Nikki asked what it meant and Tommy would always say an insult.

“Oh, it means you are a dumbass!”

He heard someone stirring and soon enough Nikki was staring at him with his eyes half open.

“Fuck my head hurts so bad” His raspy voice was too much for the poor Tommy who quickly decided to go grabbing some painkillers for both of them, anything to prevent having a fucking boner, but when he entered back the room he saw Nikki with his eyes closed again. He looked at his relaxed face and black hair, which did not hide his eyes like it usually would be and he could not help whispering something to him.

“σ' αγαπάω Nikki” (I love you Nikki). He learned that from his mom since she constantly told his dad how much she loved him.

However, Nikki was not asleep and Tommy’s whisper was not as quiet as he thought because he saw the black haired man turning toward him.

“What did you say?”

Panic. Tommy wasn’t usually the type that gets easily scared but right now his brain decided to shut down, leaving him unable to formulate any words. Fuck what he was supposed to say now? He wasn’t even sure if he remembered English at that moment!

“You are an idiot… it means that, ya know like you said to me yesterday.”

Nikki seemed hurt but he quickly shrugged it off and took the pills.

“Fuck you T-Bone!” He scoffed, but then he let out a laugh.

There’s no way he could have held it for much longer. He was screwed, so fucking screwed.

---

Mick was sick and tired of watching the Twins being oblivious, they were obviously in love yet they seemed to be blind. It was getting frustrating because anyone could see Tommy’s love struck expression whenever Nikki wasn’t looking or how the bassist seemed to hate anyone but Tommy.

He suspected they used their languages to say stuff the other couldn’t understand and honestly he was sick of not understanding a fuck so he started to write down what they said and search it on the dictionary. What? He was sometimes bored and this situation seemed interesting, especially if it meant that the two idiots would have been finally together and that he could use this information against them.

“What are you doing Mars?” Vince looked at the older man curious, trying to understand what he was reading.

“I’m trying to translate whatever the Twins said to each other yesterday morning.” He said nonchalantly.

“Wait you know Greek and Italian? Don’t tell me you have been learning it just so you could understand them!”

“ Well I’m sick and tired to hear them saying shit and not understanding it, now they can’t fool me and I’ll know whatever they are saying how much they love the other or plotting to make the kitchen explode! However, especially I’m so over the fact that they can’t tell each other their true feelings” Mick said firmly.

“How are you going to make them confess though?” Vince looked both scared and confused.

“Well I will tell them what the other really meant!”

“You scare me man… bruja” Vince whispered the last part.

“Hey, do not call me a fucking witch!” Mick replied threatening.

“ YOU ARE DOING THE SAME WITH ME TOO?”

“No more fucking with me in Spanish, Malibu Barbie!”

---

Mick plan was simple: smacking them with the truth and making sure they wouldn’t run away, for that he instructed Vince to block the door at any cost.

“Nikki will try to escape so you must prevent that.”

“Why me Mars? Furthermore, how am I supposed to do that?” Vince asked confused.

“Well I know that you can fight and because if you do not do that I’ll tell Nikki what you say about him in Spanish when he doesn’t hear you.” The guitarist replied with a smile.

“Oh c’mon, that’s pure evil. You are the devil!”

Right at that moment, the front door opened and Nikki stepped in, soon followed by Tommy who looked like a puppy with heart eyes only for the older man.

“What are you doing Mick?” The drummer asked curious.

“Nothing much, I was reading stuff… did you know that “Ti amo” means I love you in Italian? Does not Nikki say that a lot?” Mick shot Vince’s a glare and Nikki’s eyes got huge as he understood what was going on, but before he could get out the blond quickly went to lock the door right before he could reach it.

Nikki looked like a caged animal, terrified yet ready to fight anyone, it scared him very bad because what if Tommy got angry or decided to end their friendship? What if they kicked him out of the band or they left him like anyone else in his life? Suddenly he felt so fucking angry with Vince for blocking the door because he needed to get out and escape all this situation! He couldn’t give any explanations

 He was about to charge on Vince and knock him out of the way but Tommy’s voice cut through his train of thoughts.

“ Wait you told me that yesterday. Does this mean…” Tommy looked confused as fuck but before he could do anything Mick continued, adamant into making both boys suffer in misery.

“Also I discovered that I love you in Greek is written like this “σ' αγαπάω” He showed a piece of paper “ Which isn’t very similar to what  Tommy always writes on his notes?”

Now it was Tommy’s turn to be absolutely shocked and scared as his eyes bolted anywhere but where Nikki was. It had to be a joke, right? They were playing with his feelings because they knew he loved Nikki and all of this was a big prank… unless it wasn’t. However, that would have been too good, even for a hopeless romantic like him, he needed to know the truth.

“Nikki… “ He stopped and Mick to take as the signal that they should have left the two boys alone, so he took a very interested Vince and pulled him away.

“They are right it means I love you, I couldn’t find the courage to tell you so I said it but in a way you wouldn’t understand. I love you Nikki, so much but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship…”

Tommy never felt afraid but at that moment he knew he could have lost everything from his band to his best friend, but also he knew he had to be the first one to speak otherwise Nikki would have never done it. The bassist still looked at the ground but he took a deep breath and he started talking.

“ Fuck Tommy I’ve liked you for as long as I can remember, but I was so fucking terrified you would never want to see me again if I told you my real feelings! I couldn’t lose you or the band so I just didn’t say it. You have no idea how many fucking time I just wanted to pick you and make you mine!"

His eyes were still glued down, but he forced himself to look at Tommy, noticing his big smile and how his eyes were lit up for joy. He couldn’t help but smile back because he looked absolutely gorgeous like that, little did he know that Tommy felt the same way about him, a smiling Nikki was a beautiful Nikki.

They stayed like this for a couple of seconds until Nikki felt something inside him and before his brain could stop him, he cupped Tommy’s face and kissed him on the lips. It wasn’t sweet but neither super heated, it was just a passionate kiss, one that held all the longing and promises they would make to each other. It was a kiss of hope and courage, and a kiss between two people who are not afraid anymore.

Tommy was the first to pull away but only because he wanted to hear Nikki say something.

“Can you say it again, please?”

“ Ti amo, idiota.” Nikki said with a smile. Saying I love you felt still very scary but this was different in a way, even if it was the same meaning. He was sure one day he would be able to say it in English too.

“ I love you too, idiot!” Tommy replied hugging the bassist.

“Wow how did you know that it would have worked?” Vince whispered, as he was totally not spying his friends kissing.

“Call it six sense.” Mick replied shrugging his shoulders.

“Bruja”

“I heard you, little blonde bitch.”

[twooneztaylorthecat]

Delirious - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Adam Faulkner sat up frantically, his body rigid and his mind reeling, his hands grasping uselessly at the edge of his confines, his hair plastered to his face, and his mouth filled with grimy water. He spluttered, trying to breath without getting water in his lungs, and his fingers fumbled inconveniently all along the edge of his restraints. Coughing, Adam hauled himself out of the tub. He was weak and fatigued, but most of all he was scared. In a few frightening moments, that seemed entirely too long, he tried pounding on the walls; first slowly then gradually getting faster with every passing second. Through the darkness, Adam could feel the freezing tile on his fingers, and the sharp sting as he slapped his palms against it. When this proved futile, Adam backed away hesitantly, spinning 'round and 'round as if trying to find something that wasn't there, and then resorted to screaming. His attempts at being heard were unavailing, but he kept at it anyway mostly for the sake of his very own sanity; if he remained silent he was sure to lose his goddamn mind.

"No one can hear you," came a sudden voice from the darkness. It sounded so dismissive; in fact it almost pissed Adam off how apathetic it appeared. "Just calm down. Are you hurt?"

Adam's mind struggled to form a single coherent thought. Between his confusion and his fear, thinking was made difficult. He stuttered over his words for a couple short seconds. "I-I-I-I don't- don't know." He looked over himself, even though he couldn't see anything. "Yeah?"

There was a faint sound of stumbling around, and then a high-pitched buzz filled the room. In an abrupt flicker the darkness was replaced with a bright yellow light. The ceiling lights had come on, and Adam groaned, shielding his eyes away from the brightness. "I couldn't find them before..." The man apologized.

When Adam could see clearly again, he glanced over at the object to his right. Immediately upon seeing the results, he wished he had been a little more thoughtful on that prospect, for keeping him grounded was a metal chain connecting him to a metal pipe protruding from the tile walls. What calmness he had left evaporated all together and once again he found himself panicking. Adam yanked and tugged but it didn't matter, he wasn't going anywhere. "Holy shit. You did this, didn't you!?"

His companion pressed himself against the wall in alarm. "I haven't done anything!" He exclaimed defensively. "But we're going to have to trust each other if we want to get out of this. I mean, clearly someone didn't want us going very far."

Adam huffed. "But what the hell did I do?"

"Apparently you did something, or you wouldn't be here. Now, what's your name?"

That's a personal question, Adam thought. Why does he want to know?

Looking the man up and down suspiciously, Faulkner muttered carefully, "My name is very fucking confused... What's YOUR name...?"

"Lawrence Gordon," Gordon answered practically.

Adam laughed. "Sounds like a doctor's name," he whispered wryly.

"I AM a doctor," Doctor Lawrence snapped.

Adam stared at him awkwardly. Neither of them spoke a word to each other for a couple of never-ending minutes, then Lawrence stood up. "Here, let me try the door."

"Why didn't you?" Adam retorted, not expecting a reply. He was aware of the fact that, with the lights off, it was impossible to see your surroundings. Lawrence ignored him, but did cast him an annoyed look, as if echoing Adam's exact thoughts. He got to his feet.

Adam watched Lawrence stretch himself along the wall, reaching for the door. It was locked, but even if wasn't, Lawrence's chain didn't stretch far enough to get him to the handle. "Well fuck," Adam uttered hopelessly.

Lawrence gave him an apologetic look, but didn't say anything to reassure him. It was then that Adam's eyes found the chainsaw resting right next to Lawrence's feet, and that's when everything changed. He started freaking out. In flashbacks he saw THAT moment replaying over and over again in his head, and he reacted violently, twisting his body and lashing out against his restraint.

The pictures burned his eyes, at least it felt like they did. With each passing second the flashbacks became more clear. He could almost feel Lawrence's pain when he cut through his flesh. Adam screamed. Agony ripped through his temples and he doubled over.

Lawrence's longing and flustered exclamations were lost on poor Adam as he writhed miserably on the tile floor in capable of regaining himself, his tormented mind struggling to cope with the memories. "Hey! I think I've found something! Pass me that tape."

Adam kicked, and flailed, but didn't hear Lawrence.

"What's wrong? Will you at least tell me your name?"

Still, Adam couldn't get the vision out of his eyes. It lingered there like a bloodstain on a white dress. It refused to put him at ease.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw his wallet at him. "Adam!" His voice was starting to blend into the buzz of the lights. "Goddamn it, Adam! What's happening?"

Faulkner tossed and turned. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he was sure it would pop at any given moment. His temperature was so high it was like he was in an oven that was set to self-destruct. His shirt and flannel were drenched in so much sweat, he could have easily been rolling around in the wet grass before arriving.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw something else at him. Was it the package of cigarettes? "Sit up! Sit up!"

Adam tried to latch onto what Lawrence was telling him, but he felt fried. His mind was so exhausted...

"Adam!" Gordon's voice was gone completely now, as well as the images that he had been seeing before. Adam was plunged straight back into darkness, and then THAT voice reached his ears. The melodic voice of his significant other.

In a frenzy, hastily and dazedly, Adam Faulkner exploded from the covers, his face burning up with fever. He was hotter than he had ever felt in his entire life. He gasped, paranoia engulfing him. His eyes darted around the room, taking in his surroundings quickly, fearfully. He was not where he expected to find himself. He was not with the person he was expecting to be with. Adrenaline pumped through him, making him fidgety, but finally he brought his attention to his partner. You were leaning over him, terror in your bright eyes.

Adam's breath slowed down audibly, once he realized where he was. You pushed him to the pillow again. You had tears on your cheeks but Adam wasn't in the mental state to be concerned about that right now. He let you adjust him on the bed, as you whispered, "You're so hot, baby. I tried to stop the fever, but... it just kept rising, and... You scared me, I thought for sure... Never mind. You were kicking and sleep talking. I don't what you said, though."

Adam stared ahead, grabbing hold of your hand. He held it so tightly you whimpered. You had to use all your strength to rip your hand out of his grasp. "What time is it?" He choked.

"Twelve AM. It's hasn't even been two hours yet."

"I... I can't go back to sleep. I need a walk." But Adam knew it was a lie. And he knew what you would say.

You stared into his face. His eyes had dark circles under them, they were bloodshot already themselves, and his skin was ghostly white. You frowned at him in dismay. Lately, he had stopped sleeping. His trauma was getting to him again, and you knew that was the only reason for it; his dreams were haunting him too much. "No, Adam," You said firmly this time. You weren't going to allow him to do this again.

Adam shook his head. "Let me. It helps."

"You are going to kill yourself one of these days," You growled, and gently held him down. You didn't want to cause him to feel trapped, that would only make things worse, but you didn't want him to get up. "You need to sleep, baby. You have a fever tonight."

"Maybe that's good?" Adam asked halfheartedly. He hadn't meant to alarm you.

You felt sick. "No." You combed your fingers through his hair. "Relax, Adam. You're going to be just fine. I know it, you know it."

Adam relaxed under his partner's soothing strokes. "I feel so cold..."

You gazed at him sadly. "A hundred and one degrees, Adam."

"Me?"

"No, the cat," You snapped sarcastically.

"Oh..."

Adam could feel himself losing himself to sleep. He was afraid of what would happen next in his dreams, but he trusted you to take care of him. Your careful caress was enough to put him back under. And as he wandered through a blurry haze of darkness, he heard your soft voice one last time. "I love you." A kiss was planted on his lips and when he started dreaming again, it was with you.

You in your favorite attire.

You with your prettiest smile.

You with your pleasant laugh.

And he leaned right into that beloved and charming kiss. All the while you stayed awake in the night, protecting him, keeping him away from his fears, and allowing your precious boyfriend to gather up on his much desired sleep.

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 3

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 11k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.

Part 1 here ; Part 2 here; part 4 here; part 5

playlist vibes

best friend | rex orange county

heather | conan gray

jocelyn flores | xxxtentacion

ivy | frank ocean

pretty little fears | 6lack

best part | daniel caesar (feat h.e.r.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every muscle in your body ached as you tried to shift in your bed. Your head felt like it was splitting open from the massive pain. You peeled open your eyes that felt like they were glued shut. Every neuron in your body was sending the message “go back to sleep” but the hurried whispers in the room forced you to slowly open your eyes. It felt like you were experiencing a fever dream because you were not fully processing anything due to your half opened eyes and the massive pain coursing through your entire body.

You managed to make out Hana’s face hovering over you. Her eyes were filled with concern, “I don’t know what to do. She’s been like this all day. She hasn't moved at all and I’m pretty sure she’s been sleeping the entire time.”

Another voice whispered hoarsely, “Should we call an ambulance or take her to the on campus nurse?”

“I don’t know but she doesn’t seem sick, ya know? I think she’s probably just exhausted. She was running around like crazy this entire week.”

You shifted your body to see who the other voice belonged to.

“She’s awake!” the hoarse voice exclaimed.

The sight of his curly hair and big brown eyes made your heart feel like it was going to explode.

“Tae,” you sighed in a daze. You thought you were in a lucid dream so you reached out and grabbed his hand. It felt warm and comforting. You pulled him closer so you could snuggle against his arm.

You heard Hana’s voice. “She’s been saying your name all day. Did something happen at your party? Did you do something to her?” she said, accusingly.

“No! Nothing happened! She was totally fine the entire time!” he said defensively. You couldn’t fully concentrate or focus on anything but you thought you saw a blush rising on Taehyung's face.

He leaned in and you could smell his soap as if he just showered. He put his other hand against your forehead, “She’s a bit warm, but nothing crazy. Maybe she’s exhausted but someone should probably stay with her until she properly wakes up.”

You felt a spine tingling shiver coarse through your body. “I’m so cold,” you whispered, trying to curl in your blankets.

Hana’s eyebrows wrinkled in worry, “I gave her all my blankets already.”

“Here, wear this.” Taehyung pulled his arm away from you and he peeled off his gray hoodie, leaving him in a plain white shirt.

He handed it to you but instead of putting it on, you brought it up to your face and inhaled the smell of Taehyung in the sweater. It smelled so comforting. You wrapped your arms around the sweater and pressed your face against the soft fabric. You felt your head pounding again so you slowly closed your eyes, drifting off back into a dreamless state.

You felt your eyes open comfortably what seemed an hour or so later when the sun rays peeking through your blinds became too bright. You shifted in your bed and grabbed your phone. 9:57.

You yawned and stretched. The sound of your movements shuffled Hana and she sleepily glanced over at you. Then she immediately shot up in her bed, “Oh my god! You’re finally awake!”

You were confused, “What are you talking about?”

“_______, you literally slept for more than 24 hours.”

You looked on at your phone. It read monday. You slept all through Sunday. You were still groggy, kinda delirious from sleeping the most you had in your entire life, “Wait did I wake up at any point?”

“Yea, you were kinda in and out of consciousness. But you woke up slightly at one point.”

You rubbed your forehead with your head. Wait so that dream about Hana and Taehyung wasn’t a dream? “Hana, don’t tell me that my fever dream of you and...”

She chuckled nervously, “Sorry _______. That wasn’t a dream. He was really here.”

You closed your eyes trying to remember what happened but you were so sure you dreamt all of that.

You looked around your bed and saw his sweatshirt by your pillow.

“You’ve got to be fucking with me right now.” You groaned. Why did the thought of Taehyung cause sadness to bloom in your heart? What happened before you went to sleep? You were trying to think properly, but Hana interrupted your thoughts.

“You were so out of it. I’m sure he doesn’t think anything of it,” she said trying to calm your nerves.

Even though you couldn't recount what had happened on Saturday night fully, your “fever dream” was clearly printed in your mind, “Hana, I grabbed his hand. I took his sweatshirt. You told him that I said his name in my sleep.”

“It’s okay! He literally doesn’t care. He’ll just be happy you’re okay.” Hana said getting up from her bed.

You were massaging your temples because your head ached still.

“I’ll be right back okay? I’m going to get some food with Jungkook and I’ll bring you back some. I’ll stop by the pharmacy to get you Tylenol. Drink some water and freshen up.” She put on her shoes and waved bye.

The room was silent and you felt like you could breathe. Your mind was still reeling from sleeping for a long time so you were trying to recollect what happened the past couple of days. Then it all hit you at once. You remembered the night. How you came back to your room and sobbed until you couldn’t cry anymore. Until your eyes were puffy and bloodshot. God, you were a fucking idiot. Taehyung was bringing back the feelings that you tried so hard to forget. You tried your best; you put up walls for so long so your feelings didn't get hurt again. But it happened. You let your will slip. He was breaking your heart once again and he still didn’t even know

You didn't want to admit anything to yourself. All you knew was you were feeling like you didn't know what the fuck you were feeling.

The rational voice in your head kept poking your thoughts, “Why were you so sad? Why did you care so much?

You didn’t want to think about those questions because you knew the answer would scare you. You just knew you didn’t want to see Taehyung any time soon.

He obviously doesn’t give shit about my feelings so why the fuck am I letting it hurt me so much?

Suddenly, the door of your dorm room swung open and there was a panicked Kim Taehyung standing there.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you mumbled underneath your breath so he couldn't hear.

He raced over to your bed and you wanted to crawl away so desperately. You couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat when you saw his huge innocent brown eyes, his messy curly black hair, and his matching black and white pajamas.

He held your hand gently in between his two large ones, “Are you okay? How do you feel? Did you eat anything?”

He was out of breath as if he raced to your dorm. He continued, “I came here as soon as Hana told me you were awake.”

You slid back into your blankets so you could hide yourself,“I’m fine. You can go now,” You said softly.

“I can’t leave you. At least not until Hana comes back.”

“Taehyung, I’m fine okay. You can go,” The words came out harsh. You hadn’t really acted this cold towards Taehyung since the beginning of your college friendship.

You tried to avoid his gaze but you caught his eyes, “__________ are you mad at me? Did I do something?”

The words got caught in your throat. You held back the tears that were welling in your eyes. You steadied your shaking breath, “I’m fine Taehyung. Hana is bringing me food and medicine. Just go.”

You could clearly see the hurt in his eyes. You feel like a complete jerk for making him sad. Even though you’re the one who cried yourself to sleep over because your heart was in so much pain.

He nodded gently and left before saying, “Just let me know if you’re feeling better.”

You leaned back on your pillows, releasing a heavy breath. You were so emotionally drained. No wonder I slept for over a day. You didn’t know anything about what you were feeling but one thing was clear: being around Taehyung was a lot fucking harder than you thought.

As you relayed last night's events in your head, you tried to understand why you were so hurt. Nothing made sense and your head started to pound again. The door clicked open and thankfully it was just Hana.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” She said carefully as she entered the room with a couple of paper bags in hand.

The tears that were building up from the moment you saw Taehyung came bursting out.

“Oh my gosh, ________ what happened? Are you okay?” She dropped the paper bags, shocked at your sudden burst.

You tried to wipe the tears from your face, “I dunno what’s going on with me. I just...”

She rushed over and sat on the side of your bed, “What happened?”

“Why am I so sad Hana? Why am I crying over Taehyung? I don’t like him. I don’t care about what he does.”

She rubbed your shoulders, pulling you in for a hug, “Oh ______, I know why.”

You looked up at her, through your teary eyes, “Please tell me. I’m so fucking confused.”

“You like him ________.”

You blinked at her and moved away from her, “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. That’s why it’s hurting.”

“No, Hana I don’t. I fucking told you I don’t, so just listen to what I’m saying.”

“I know _________ you’re scared. You opened your heart to him and you got hurt. And you’re afraid to do that again.”

“I didn’t just get hurt. It fucking destroyed me. It hurt me more than you could ever imagine.”

“I know and I’m sorry that happened. But you can’t control everything in your life. You can’t convince yourself that you don’t like him.”

“I’m not convincing anyone of anything. I don’t like him. I don’t care, I'm not thinking about my feelings or about him. We’re friends.” You controlled your breathing and wiped the tears from your face, “I don’t know why I was so upset. Taehyung and I are just friends and I don’t have feelings for him.”

Hana sighed in disappointment.

You took a deep breath and made up your mind: you weren’t going to let this affect you. It was simple, just keep your distance from Taehyung and don’t be sad about things that you truly shouldn’t be upset over.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You tried to avoid Taehyung as much as possible without it being completely sus. He had been texting you asking if you were feeling better and you responded with simple answers like “I’m fine” or “I just was exhausted.” However, the last thing you wanted was for him to confront you about your unusual behavior so after not seeing Taehyung for 4 days straight, you knew you couldn’t avoid him anymore.

“Taehyung, I told you, I’m studying. I’m trying to be productive so I can come to your game on Saturday.” You huffed over the phone when you finally caved and answered his call.

“Okay why can’t I just study with you? I’ll meet you at the library,” he whined.

“I’m not at the library,” You said flatly.

“Where are you then? I’ll meet you there!” Taehyung said pleadingly.

God he was relentless.

“I’m studying in the science hall. 7th floor towards the windows.” You said, giving up.

“Bet. I’ll be there in five”

Why did you tell him where you were? You were such a simp for Taehyung, and it was honestly going to cost you. At least this floor was empty so Taehyung couldn’t get distracted by anyone who passed by.

You went back to doing your chemistry assignment on acids and bases. You hadn’t realized Taehyung arrived until he sat down on the sofa next to you, the familiar scent of his cologne wafting your way.

“Wow, I had no idea this existed,” Taehyung said, stretching out his arms.

You briefly glanced at him. He was wearing a black sweater with light brown slacks,  “What? The science hall?”

“Okay I’m stupid but not that stupid. I just haven’t been past the first floor.” He took out his laptop.

“Taehyung, I’m not sure why you wanted to come. I’m just doing homework.”

“Because I like watching you do homework.”

You turned to him and wrinkled your forehead in confusion.

He laughed nervously, “I mean like you’re always so focused and driven when you’re doing work, it makes me want to try harder and do my work. And I’m trying to focus on school and being around you motivates me.”

You turned your head quickly towards your laptop so he couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks, “Well good. Because we are going to be productive today.”

You two continued to do work in silence, with only noise coming from the clicking of the laptop keys.

After you finished your chemistry assignment, you took a break by mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.

Taehyung glanced up and said in a casual voice,  “I finished developing my photos this morning.”

Taehyung mentioned to you before that he had been taking photos with his vintage Polaroid and that the process of developing them was difficult and time consuming.

“Really? Why didn’t you mention it sooner? I’ve been waiting all week to see your photos!!” You were genuinely excited because Taehyung hadn’t taken photos in forever and you missed how he used to light up while showing you pictures. Also, Taehyung was actually very talented and his photos were always distinctly him.

“You’re really excited?”

“Of course, Taehyung! Okay, hurry up take them out,” you said impatiently.

He smiled brightly and pulled out a navy blue folder from his bag. He pulled out a stack of photos and put the folder down. Taehyung leaned against your shoulder and gave you the stack.

You began to flip through each photo, carefully looking at each one before going to the next. Few were of nature scenes around campus, capturing the beautiful sunsets and the tranquility of the surrounding forests, including the cliff side ocean that he had taken to you during his birthday party. There were some of his friends. Photos of his teammates post practice of them smiling and laughing. Taehyung had a knack for somehow capturing the human emotion through his camera lens. 

Then, there were some photos from the frat party. With the red solo cups and the faded lighting, the photos looked like they came straight out of a 90s coming of age movie. You paused at the following photo. It was a picture of you and Taehyung at the frat party. Taehyung was holding your hand and you were both intently staring at each other. You had your small smile on, the smile you reserved for Taehyung when you found him especially endearing but you didn’t want him to know. He was flashing his huge smile at you. You knew the expression you had in your eyes, and it scared you.

“Jimin took that picture that night. I had no idea that photo existed until I developed it. It’s one of my favorite pictures. Don’t we look so cute?” He said peering up at you.

“Yea, it’s cute” you said in a shaky voice. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the photo. You knew the all too familiar expression on your face and it scared you.

You quickly rifled to the next photo and it was of you. You were sitting on the picnic benches near the soccer field, surrounded by your notebooks and laptop. You were wearing a pissed off expression which was only further exemplified by you flipping off the camera and the cameraman. You vaguely remember Taehyung coming up to you after his soccer practice and exclaiming “say cheese!” which granted him this as your response.

“Taehyung, what the fuck is this picture?” You asked laughing at the sheer strangeness of the photo.

He pulled the photo from your hands and said, “No way are you taking this. This photo is my favorite picture of you ever. I’m keeping this in my wallet.”

You tried to snatch it away but Taehyung already shoved the photo in his wallet. He resumed laying his head on your shoulder as you continued flipping through his photos.

“Tae, these are so good. They are all so aesthetic.”

“You really do like them? You’re not fucking with me right?”

“Of course not. I’m being serious. You’re so talented. You definitely need to continue.”

He snuggled deeper into your shoulder and peered at you, “I will, but only if you’re my model for my next series.”

You scoffed loudly, “As if. I’m so far from being a model. You should ask someone like Jennie.”

“Why someone like her?”

“Cause she... knows how to model.” You were about to say “Cause she’s actually pretty” but you didn’t really want Taehyung's fake pity of “Oh no, you’re pretty too.” You weren’t and you were honestly okay with that. But you didn’t want people knowing what made you feel weak so they could offer fake sympathy.

He looked surprised, “Oh wow. I didn’t know that. I could ask her. But I don’t really want to.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why?”

He sighed, “Jennie is fun to be around. She’s really nice and kind. And I like fucking her. But I don’t know what she wants from me. I’ve told her so much that I’m not looking for a relationship. That I don’t want a girlfriend. But I think she wants something. I don’t know, I think I have to sit down and talk with her.”

Sometimes, Taehyung didn't make sense to you. Or maybe just his duality didn’t make sense to you. He was such a cute, adorable, sweet boy sometimes but then you had to remember his infamous reputation for being the biggest heartbreaker fuckboi on campus.

You hadn’t realized but when Taehyung was talking about his relationship with Jennie, you found yourself playing with the curls of his dark hair, twirling the soft silky strands between your fingers.

You stopped the second you registered what you were doing.

Taehyung looked up at you and pouted, “Why’d you stop?”

“Oh, um, I didn’t know if you wanted me touching your hair.”

“No it’s fine. It’s kinda relaxing”

He went quiet as you continued to play with the curly strands of his hair.

“_________?”

“Yea?”

He asked innocently, “Are you and Jimin a thing?”

You stifled a laugh, “No. Definitely not. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, I just thought since you guys were talking so much lately.”

“Oh no. We were only talking because of your surprise party. He’s really nice and sweet but he’s like you. He doesn’t want a relationship and that’s something I want.”

“You know that I’m not going to stop being your best friend when you get a boyfriend. I was your friend first so your future boyfriend will need to back off.”

You laughed, “Tae, we’ll cross that bridge if we ever get to it.”

“Hmm, well I guess till then you’re mine,” he said leisurely.

Your eyes widened at his words. This was the second time he’s said that.  But this time he didn’t correct himself.

Taehyung continued talking about how he developed the photos as he laid on your shoulder. You were only half listening because your mind was running. What did he mean by that? No no, stop overthinking. Stop thinking about your feelings, stop thinking about what he might have or could have meant. You’re his friend. That’s it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1:36 am

You couldn’t sleep. You had to be up relatively early because Taehyung's game started at 11. You tried to close your eyes and calm your thoughts but it felt like your mind was running in a hamster wheel, just constantly spinning.

Your thoughts were preoccupied with many things. Firstly, you were worried about your chemistry exam grade. You felt like it went okay but you could never be too sure. Then Taehyung of course. You were convincing yourself to not think about your feelings because you knew it would only upset you. So you just kept on telling yourself that you wanted to be just friends with Taehyung. You glanced over at your roommate’s empty bed. She went over to sleep at Jungkook’s so the room was empty and silent.

You reluctantly grabbed your phone to distract yourself from your thoughts.

Your Instagram feed had become more informational, with you following mostly activist pages about climate change, politics, and human rights issues. You needed a laugh so you went to TikTok and scrolled through your FYP.

You were intently watching a “How to make photocards” tutorial when the screen was interrupted with an incoming call.

It was Taehyung.

Why would he be calling at this time? He should be sleeping by now.

You answered the call, a bit unsure, “Hello?”

“Hey _________!”

“Tae, you should really be sleeping,” you said, critically.

“I know, I know. I just....couldn’t fall asleep.”

You got concerned, “What’s going on?”

You heard some rustling from Taehyung's side of the call and then he continued in a hushed whisper, “I don’t know. I just...am worried, I guess. I’m really stressed out.”

“About the game or school?”

“Both I guess. But mostly the game right now. I just needed to talk to someone. I wasn’t sure if you were Awake but I just wanted to see. Did I wake you up?”

You gave a light laugh, “Uh no. I was actually awake.”

“Please tell me you weren’t doing homework.”

“I wasn’t! I couldn’t fall asleep either. I just was on my phone.”

“Oh okay. What’s going on with you?”

“I believe we were talking about you,” You said, chiding him.

“Okay okay. But after we are talking about you.”

“Sure sure. Why are you anxious about the game? “

“I don’t know, I Just really wanna do well. I've practiced so much for this. What if I fuck up? What if I make mistakes?”

You had never heard Taehyung sound this unconfident before. He was always easy going, chill, and reassured, especially in himself. You knew for him to be feeling this way, he must be really stressed

You said gently, “Taehyung, why do you think you’ll mess up? You’ve always done great.”

He sounded so upset, “You haven’t been to my games ________. I fucked up so badly in the last one. I was supposed to pass the ball to Jungkook so he could score but I thought I could take it and they ended up stealing the ball back and scoring. I lost that game for us.”

“Tae, one mistake doesn’t define you as a player. You tried something and it didn’t work out and you learned from it. You’re literally the hardest worker I’ve ever met. You practiced harder than anyone else. You’ve been playing for so long and you’re the best player I’ve ever seen. I know that as long as you don’t get in your head, you’re going to do great. Trust your instincts and don’t overthink it. You’re a really, really good player because you react in the moment and go with the flow. Just trust your strengths and I promise you that you'll do great.”

He let out a shaky breath, “Thank you ________. Thank you for being here for me. I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.”

You felt your heart warm at his words, “I’m your friend. Of course I’ll be here for you.”

He said in a cocky tone, “So, you really think I’m that good?”

You scoffed, “Okay I said that to make you feel better not for your headass ego to inflate even more.”

“No, no, I heard it with my own two ears. You said I’m the best soccer player you’ve seen.”

“I’ve always thought you were that good, Tae. I just never told you.”

“Why not?” He whined

“Because you don’t need any fucking compliments from me. You get plenty already from your personal cheerleading squad.”

“But I only care about what you think.”

“Shut up. I told you so just remember it forever.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” He paused, “Okay so why are you awake?”

“Um just I don’t know. I’m worried about my chemistry exam grade.” You chuckled, “Well I’m worried about all my grades.”

“_________, you’re literally the smartest person I know. And I know Jimin and Namjoon hyung. If you think I’m hardworking you’re like 40 times more. I know you stress out about these things because you’re not confident in yourself. And I know it’s not an easy mentality to change. So I just want you to know I believe in you. I always have.”

You went quiet. Somehow Taehyung could understand you so well. Maybe it was the years of growing up together or maybe he was that good at understanding emotions

“_________?”

“Yes. Sorry. I just...was thinking. About what you just said. I really appreciate it. I’ve just never had anyone say that to me. I just always forced myself to be on a team by myself. It’s just...really nice.. to have someone rooting for me too.”

“I’ll always be rooting for you”

It went quiet for a moment before he interjected his soft voice, “You’re coming to the game tomorrow, right?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good, good. I really want you to be there.” He paused, “________?”

“Yes Tae,” you said laughing. You loved the way your name sounded when it came out of his mouth.

“Would you do something for me?”

“What?” What could I possibly do for him?

“Can you wear my jersey at the game tomorrow?”

Your jaw dropped. Wearing a soccer players jersey at your school wasn’t simply just wearing a soccer jersey. Only the people who either were officially dating a player or hooked up most often with a player wore said player’s jersey. It was kinda symbol that you were “with” that player either officially or unofficially. So Taehyung asking you to wear his jersey was definitely something you were not at all expecting.

You were trying to think of a coherent sentence but all that came out was, “Um.”

“You totally don’t have to! I just thought it would be nice since you’re my closest friend.”

You blinked. It was past 2 am now. Neither of you were thinking clearly. There was no way he means anything by it other than he wants someone in the stands supporting him.

“I would! But I don’t have your jersey.” There. That wasn’t a lie, but this way you don’t have to get yourself entangled in something.

“I’ll give one to you tomorrow! Before the game!”

Fuck.

“Oh okay. Sure then.” What the fuck did you just agree to?

“Great! I’m so excited!”

You rubbed your forehead with your free hand, “Tae, it’s getting really late. You should go to sleep.”

He sighed, “Yea. I should. You should too.”

“Yea.”

But neither of you hung up.

Taehyung said sincerely, “Thank you. For talking to me. I didn’t know what I needed but I knew I needed to talk to you.”

“Anytime. Thanks for not being a clueless headass. And for comforting me.”

“Anything for you, strawberry girl,” he said teasingly.

“Bye.” you whispered

Then you hung up the phone, left in the silence of your whirring air conditioner. It’s just a fucking shirt; it’s just polyester. It doesn’t mean anything. Stop overthinking. But that didn’t stop your mind from dissecting every possible meaning of Taehyung’s words.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You jolted awake at the feeling of someone shaking your body.

“Get up ___________! We have to go! We’re going to be late!” yelled Hana’s overly enthusiastic voice.

You rolled over in your bed burying yourself in your blankets, “Late for what? I’m so tired.”

By the time your mind had literally exhausted itself from tiredness, it was almost 5 am. You truly could not think of one good reason to get up and leave your bed.

“The game? The one you promised you would go to?” Hana stated with her hands on her hips. She was wearing Jungkook’s jersey tucked into a pair of ripped  black shorts. Her curly black hair was tied into two high pigtails.

Oh fuck, you kinda forgot about the game. The one you promised Taehyung you would actually go to.

“Right,” you groaned as you sat up in your bed.

“Please get dressed! It’s already 10:30!”

You got dressed wearing jeans and a white long sleeve shirt, completely forgetting about the agreement you made with Taehyung. After shoving a cliff bar in your purse, Hana dragged you out of the room.

You and Hana raced to the stadium but paused when you heard someone calling both your names.

You two turned in the direction of the voice and saw Jimin running over from the side entrance of the field, as if he were coming from the locker rooms.

“________! Hana!” he said, waving. He was clutching something in his hand.

“Hey Jimin,” you said, confused. Why is he not with his team? The game is about to start.

“I’m glad I caught you guys!” He said huffing, slightly out of breath.

“What’s up?” Hana said.

“Um _______ this is for you.” He said handing whatever he had in his hand to you.

You accepted it and unraveled the item. It was Taehyung's jersey. You glanced at Hana’s face briefly just to see her shocked reaction, “Oh yea. I forgot.”

“Yea Taehyung was.....um....late this morning to practice.” Jimin said laughing, “He’s doing his warm ups right now. He couldn’t be here to give you the shirt himself so I was the messenger.”

“Right. Thanks for doing that. You really didn’t have to. I’m sure you’re so busy with the game starting soon and all.” You were kinda confused why Jimin was laughing about Taehyung being late to practice but you shrugged it off.

“No worries. Taehyung is my best friend and I would do anything to help him out.”

Oh, maybe Jimin feels bad about talking to me so much so he’s doing nice things for Taehyung. Nah that would be stupid.

“Well good luck on the game! I know you guys will do great” Hana exclaimed excitedly.

You nodded in agreement and waved as Jimin ran back to the locker rooms.

“What the fuck _________? He gave you his jersey? When was this planned?”

“Literally, it doesn’t mean anything. He called me last night and told me so last minute. I said sure but I didn’t have a jersey so I didn’t think I would end up actually having to wear it!”

“No no, this means something! I know you don’t want to hear it but he might genuinely like you. I know you keep telling yourself that you don’t like him but you need to confront feelings eventually,” she said as you entered the stadium.

You rolled your eyes, “That sounds like a later problem.”

You and Hana made your way to the second row of bleachers. You were still holding Taehyung's jersey, a bit hesitant to put it on over your white shirt.

Hana glared at you, “Are you seriously not going to wear his jersey _______? I mean Jimin literally ran from th-” She stopped talking and her mouth gaped in shock. You followed her eye line and saw what she was staring at. Jennie and one of her friends were walking up the steps and were making their way to sit right in front of you and Hana. However you quickly noticed what Hana dropped her jaw over. Jennie was wearing Taehyung's jersey. And she of course made it look like the cutest outfit as she tied it up in knot that complemented her jean shorts so well.

You felt immense jealousy rise in your stomach. You were supposed to be the one wearing his jersey! Then your feelings turned to anger: he really thought he could have two girls show up in his jersey. Then your feelings of anger changed to defeat and insecurity: well of course he gave her his jersey. They fuck all the time plus she looks so good in his jersey. They both look so good together as a couple. Why did you keep trying to insert yourself in a situation that you weren’t relevant in? Clearly, there was some misunderstanding and you weren’t supposed to actually wear his jersey.

You looked sadly at his jersey lying in your lap. You got lost in your thoughts when Hana tapped your phone sitting next to you.

You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion but picked up your phone.

Hana: listen to jennie

You started to listen in her conversation with her friend.

The friend on her right (her name was Lisa you think?) whispered in a harsh tone, “So Jennie are you and Taehyung together then?”

Jennie flipped her perfectly styled hair over her shoulder, “Not yet. But we’ve been seeing each other more often.”

Lisa asked curiously, “Did he give you that jersey?”

Jennie said in an uptight tone, “Well, this is one he gave me earlier this year to wear. But I can wear it for this game too.”

The conversation between Jennie and Lisa got interrupted when another girl, Jisoo, came and sat down on Jennie’s left. Jisoo, leaned into the conversation, “Where were you last night Jennie? We were so worried when you got up and left at midnight.”

Jennie laughed with her hand covering her mouth, “Don’t worry. I was perfectly fine.”

She elaborated further, “I was at Taehyung’s.”

Lisa and Jisoo gasped. You immediately looked at Hana.

You: they fucked

Hana: you don’t know that!

You: u srsly believe that?

You stopped texting Hana to listen in again.

Lisa grabbed Jennies arm, “Are you being for real?”

“Of course I am! Taehyung called me and said he needed me. So I went over.”

“What happened?” jisoo asked, concerned.

“He was stressed out.”

“And?” Lisa asked eyes widened with anticipation

“And I helped him relieve his stress” she said with a smirk

Jisoo covered her gaped mouth with her hand, “You and taehyung are fucking so often now! Are you sure you guys aren’t exclusive now?”

Jennie said in a strained voice, “I’m not sure but I think we will be officially together very soon.”

Lisa and Jisoo squealed. Jennie giggled, “I almost got him in trouble”

Lisa gave a high pitched laugh, “Oh my gosh Jennie what did you do?”

“Well this morning, I couldn’t leave without making sure all of his stress was completely relieved. And he ended up being late to this morning's warm up.” she said cackling.

You remembered how Jimin said that Taehyung was late this morning when he was giving you Taehyung's jersey.

You: he was late bc he was fucking Jennie

You: that’s why jimin gave me his jersey

Hana: bro wtf is wrong w taehyung. why is he acting so weird

You: whatever idc I’m not wearing his fucking jersey tho

Hana: it’s ok to be upset

You: like i said, idc. taehyung and i are friends. he can do whatever he likes

Hana: ur just avoiding ur feelings

You: fuck off

Jennie and her clique started to chat about the cheerleading team and you went back to staring at the jersey on your lap.

Then it clicked. Taehyung called you last night. He must have fucked Jennie and then called you. What the fuck. When he called you, he said he knew he needed to talk to you. But Jennie said he said that to her too. All of those things he said to you, did he really mean them? Or did he just say it? Taehyung literally just made everything confusing. You closed your eyes. We are friends. That’s it. Don't think about anything else. Don’t think about your feelings towards him; don’t think about why you cried that night. You and Taehyung are friends. Simple

Your thoughts were interrupted when the crowd started to cheer. The soccer teams from both sides came out. The announcer introduced each player one by one. When it came to Taehyung's name, Jennie stood up and squealed, “Yes Tae!”

You couldn’t help but look at Hana and roll your eyes at Jennie's actions.

You caught a small glimpse of Taehyung. You thought you saw him wave but it happened so quickly you didn’t wave back.

You didn’t watch sports too much but with stakes high and the overwhelming energy, the game was very interesting to watch. Jungkook scored the majority of the goals as he was the lead striker. Taehyung and Jimin were on offense with him and assisted with many of the shots. Hobi was the midfielder with Jin and Yoongi as defense. Namjoon was the star goalkeeper.

The game was tied in the last quarter 5-5. Everyone was on the edge of their seats waiting to see who would win this year’s championships. With less than one minute on the clock, Taehyung scored the winning final shot. The crowd went crazy with cheers as the boys formed a group hug around tae.

Everyone from the stands went rushing down into the field to congratulate the team. You and Hana made your way down the bleachers and to the field. The second you two reached the field, Hana sprinted to jungkook and gave him a giant hug. You smiled. They were so cute together.

You wanted to congratulate Taehyung, but, of course, he had a huge crowd around him, congratulating him for scoring the winning shot. You felt pride in your heart because you knew Taehyung would do well. Once he stopped overthinking and trusted in his abilities, he always succeeded. Your thoughts of admiration of Taehyung were interrupted when Jennie pushed past you and the crowd surrounding Tae. She walked right up to him, threw her hands around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I’m so proud of you, Tae. I knew you could do it.”

Well, never mind. I’ll just go now since he’s busy with her. You turned away from Taehyung's direction and were about to leave the field when you heard someone calling your name.

“________!” You saw Jimin racing over, waving.

“Hey Jimin! Congrats on the game! You did so well!”

He stopped in front of you, “Thank you! I’m glad all of our hard work paid off.”

“Yea, I know you guys practiced like crazy these past few weeks.”

“I’m also happy that you came out for once! I can’t believe this is the first game you’ve come to all season.”

You laughed nervously, “Yea I know I should’ve come to some more games. I just didn’t really see the point of coming out to support Taehyung if he kinda ignored me the whole time.”

“Well, Taehyung is kinda dense. He doesn’t really know what he’s missing if he’s ignoring you. Come for me next time!”

“Okay okay I will!” You said smiling at Jimin. You wished you could like someone like Jimin. He seemed like a pretty straightforward guy. But of course...things could never be simple for you.

You and Jimin talked for a bit longer about your classes until Taehyung came up to both of you and cleared his throat. He was still sweaty from the game so his curls were stuck to his face a bit. You noticed he was wearing a black wire headband and somehow he made it look hot.

“Hey _________,” he said, once again wearing his fake smile.

Keep things simple. Just friends. You can’t be mad at him for being with Jennie when you're literally just a friend.

“Hey Taehyung. Great game. You did so well. I’m so proud of you!” You said in a cheerful voice. He gave you a look because he knew you were acting weird.

“I’m glad you came. To see me.” Taehyung said, emphasizing the last part to Jimin.

“Well, I came to support the team so all of you guys.” You said, correcting him.

Taehyung came over next to you and turned to Jimin, “I think Namjoon hyung is looking for you. You better go.”

Jimin laughed because he knew what Taehyung was doing, “Okay I’ll go then! Thanks for coming _________. You should come to our party tonight by the way!”

You were about to respond with a “we’ll see” but Taehyung interjected, “I already invited her so you don’t need to.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him because Taehyung did not invite you.

“Thank you Jimin for the invite. I’ll have to see.” you added kindly.

Then he was gone and it was just Taehyung and you.

He frowned, “Why didn’t you wear my jersey?”

Oh god. Not this again.

“I figured you gave it to me by mistake since Jennie is wearing your jersey.”

“I didn’t ask her to do that. I asked you. I wanted you to wear it.”

“Cool Taehyung. I don’t really care. She came in wearing it and I didn’t wanna look like a side chick so I decided not to.”

“Fine. I guess. I wish you wore it still. Why didn’t you wave back to me?” He added in another accusatory tone.

“I don’t know Taehyung. I didn’t see you.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what? I’m not your fucking girlfriend so you don’t get to interrogate me.“

“You’re my friend and I care about what you think of me. Is that so wrong?”

“I don’t know Taehyung. Is that what you say to all your ‘friends,’” you said, miming the quotations.

“What the fuck are you going on about?”

“Just next time don’t fucking call me saying you need me after you’ve fucked another girl.”

Your head felt like it was going to explode. So much for trying to keep it simple. You were going to leave because honestly the damage was done and you didn’t know taehyung would ever talk to you again. All your hurt feelings were just coming out and you couldn’t stop yourself.

But he pulled your arm back so you faced him.

“Is that what this is about? Me and Jennie?”

“Like I said, Taehyung. I don’t want to get in the middle of something. So if you could just stop pretending like I mean a lot to you, this would make it easier. You and Jennie can be together and I can disappear from your life.”

“_______. Jennie and I are not together. We fuck. That’s it. There’s no feelings involved.”

“There’s always feelings involved.”

“Well not from my side.”

“Then why did you call her last night saying that you needed her”

“I didn’t say that. I said I needed to relieve some stress so I asked her if she was down to have sex. She said okay. We fucked. That’s it.”

Every time Taehyung said “we fucked” it was like a shot to your heart.

“Okay. Taehyung, I don’t get why you’re telling me this. You can do whatever you want. I just don’t want to get involved.”

“Involved in what? You’re my friend. I don’t get what so complicated about this.”

“Nothing is complicated. We’re fine Taehyung.” You desperately just wanted to leave but he wasn’t letting your arm go.

“_________. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I did exactly but I’m sorry to have made you feel upset.”

You sighed. He just didn’t see it the way you did. Whatever. It’s fine. It’s fine, “It’s okay. I’m sorry for getting mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He asked, “We’re good?”

You affirmed, “We’re good”

“So what are you doing now?”

“I dunno. I’m probably going to go make some strawberry cupcakes again. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I just need to relax I guess.”

“Can I come?”

What? Did he mean he wanted to come bake with you?

“You want to bake cupcakes? With me?”

“Yea” he said shrugging, “Why not? We’ve barely hung out this week.”

“You don’t have anything else you need to do? Or someone else you need to be with?” You said nodding in the direction of the crowd behind Taehyung. Jennie was towards the front of the crowd, looking very pissed off, as she stood with her clique.

Taehyung looked behind him then turned to you, sweeping his curls out of his face, “Nah. I’ve got nothing to do.”

You wanted to say no but there was still a part of you that wanted Taehyung to yourself, “Ok. Let’s go then.”

“Lemme grab my bag and we can go,” He said with his boxy smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It felt really weird taking Taehyung back to your dorm you thought as you unlocked your room door to let him in.

Hana had told you she would be with Jungkook the entire day so you most likely wouldn’t see her for a while.

“I gotta check something on my laptop real quick but then we can go to the kitchen on this floor and start,” you said to Taehyung as you hopped onto your bed. You opened your laptop and glanced up at Taehyung. He was checking himself out in the mirror. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. You were scrolling through your grade book to see if anything had been updated when Taehyung stated he was going to change.

You looked up and nodded, thinking he was going to use the bathroom and change. But he did not. He pulled off his shirt by grabbing the shirt from behind his neck (how did that look so hot) and your mouth went completely dry at the sight of his bare upper body. His melanin golden skin looked ethereal. His upper body was well defined and toned. You almost lost it at the sight of his chiseled collar bones that protruded from his chest. You could eat fucking cereal out of his collarbones, they were that defined. He looked like he was sculpted from a golden statue by Van Gogh himself. The more you caught yourself drooling over Taehyung the more you realized you were totally and incomparably, fucked.

You hadn’t realized you were ogling Taehyung until his eyes met yours.

“See something you like?” He said with a tantalizing smile.

Fuck. You needed to pretend like you didn’t care. You gave him an analyzing look. “Seems like chocolate cake girl got the lesser end of the deal,” you said shrugging.

Taehyung pulled on a white shirt with the word CELINE printed on it with black bolded letters. He strided over to you, smelling like fresh deodorant, “Fuck off. I saw you staring.”

“Whatever,” You waved him off

He leaned in close, his breath tickling your cheek, “You can say whatever, but your cheeks are still red from blushing.”

Oh fuck. You could feel your cheeks reddening further.

“It’s okay. I think it’s cute.”

You turned your head to him, trying to remain as stoic as possible, “you think what’s cute?”

“I think your innocence is so cute. You act like you can be unaffected by everything. But I know how to make you crumble.” He winked and you felt breathless.

He knows what effect he has on me. Great.

“C’mon _______ I was promised some cupcakes.” he said, tugging your arm away from the bed.

You grabbed the strawberries from the fridge and your baking basket. You two went to the kitchen and you started organizing everything. You quickly realized just how different you and Taehyung were.

You were the person who liked to set everything up, go through the directions, and then begin. Taehyung was the kind of person who liked to jump right in. But somehow, you felt like you balanced each other out in the best way. After a flour spill, a few extra broken eggs, and a ton of dishes to wash, somehow you were able to make strawberry cupcakes with Taehyung.

You cleaned up all the messes Taehyung made (he claimed it wasn’t his fault but rather gravity) while he washed all the dishes when the cupcakes were placed in the oven.

Once the cupcakes were frosted and everything was cleaned, you two headed back to your room.

You set the platter of desserts down and took a deep breath, “That somehow gave me more stress.”

“Hey! We had fun! I was a great co chef,” Taehyung said as he picked up a cupcake.

“Were you now? That’s highly debatable,” You said giggling at him.

“These are so fucking good. I missed your food so much.”

“Gee thanks. Glad you missed me.”

“Shut up, I’ve told you how much I missed your headass.”

You took a bite of the cupcake in your hand and it tasted surprisingly good given that Taehyung helped you make them.

Taehyung's phone lit up and the background caught your eye.

“Aww, wait did you make your phone background your photos?” you said grabbing his phone.

“Well actually...” he said trailing off as your eyes widened as you actually saw what was his phone lock screen. Your mouth went dry. It was the photo of you and Taehyung at the party. The photo that frightened you so much.

“I just really like that picture of us. It makes me happy when I see it.”

“Yea. It’s a cute photo” you said not really paying attention to your words. Your heart was racing. Just friends, you repeated to yourself. Don’t think about your feelings.

“Okay now what?” Taehyung said cheerfully.

“Don’t you have a party tonight? Do you need to head back?”

“Eh. I’ll go later. I just wanna chill for now,” he leaned back on his hands.

The voice of reason in your head was telling you that you should tell Taehyung to leave, that you should do some homework and push him away before you start getting any ideas.

But your voice of reason was drowned out by your actual voice, “Do you wanna watch a movie or something?”

He perked up, “Yea that sounds good.”

He jumped onto your bed and got comfortable as if it was a totally normal routine for him. Taehyung’s eyes caught something on your bed and picked up the gray cloth by your pillow, “Uh, ________ is this my sweatshirt?”

You closed your eyes, cringing at the situation. You had been meaning to give Taehyung his sweatshirt back but between avoiding him and also hanging out with him, you had completely forgotten. Also, it was really comfortable to wear.

You tried to keep a straight face, “Yep. You left it here I think.”

He smiled, trying to catch your embarrassment, “I actually didn’t leave it here. Don’t you remember?”

You sneered at him, “Yes I remember. You gave it to me because it was cold but I just forgot to give it to you. You can take it back now.”

He looked very unconvinced, “Right. You forgot. You didn't like sleeping with it or anything.”

You opened your mouth to say something but he laughed loudly, “I'm kidding. Maybe. C'mon, let's watch something.”

You grabbed your laptop, sat on the bed next to Taehyung, and began scrolling through Netflix.

You saw a movie title that caught your eye, “Let’s watch this”

Taehyung squinted at the screen and read the title of the movie, “To all the boys I’ve loved before?”

“Yep! I love this movie but I haven’t seen it in so long.”

“Isn’t this like a romantic comedy?”

“Yea,” you said leaning back on your pillow.

“You like teen rom coms?” he asked in disbelief.

“Oh, shut up. I love rom coms. Plus this one is so cute. I love the lead girl and guy.”

“Okay if you insist.” He said, unconvinced, adjusting his seating.

You played the movie and you began to watch the movie with Taehyung.

“To be honest, I’m not really liking Josh. Am I supposed to feel bad for him?” Taehyung asked, with his head resting on your shoulder.

“I don’t really know but I don’t feel bad for him. Lara Jean made it clear she doesn’t want to talk to him and he keeps trying.”

He nodded in agreement, “Yea fuck that guy.”

Once the movie was over, you closed your laptop.

“So, what did you think?” You asked while stretching your arms above your head.

“It was cute, I liked it. But I know why you liked it.”

You laughed, “Why do you think I like it?”

“Uh because you’re like Lara Jean.”

You scoffed, “I definitely am not like Lara Jean. She has way better style than me. And I also think she’s way braver than me.  I would never have the guts to write my feelings out.”

“I dunno..” he said teasingly “Lara Jean reminds me of you.”

You flipped him off and he stuck his tongue out at you. The room was dark now. It was evening now and you could hear the chatter of students outside your window. You felt calm in the darkness of the room with Taehyung by you.

Taehyung moved his head off your shoulder and rested against the pillows. His face was way too close to yours. You started pulling the neckline of your shirt over your face unconsciously.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” you asked innocently.

He pulled your hands away from your face. “Covering your face,” he said with a light laugh.

“Oh, um. I dunno.”

“Stop doing that. I wanna see your face.”

“Tae...my face probably looks so gross right now. My skin has been acting up all week and I just probably look so weird and-“

He pulled the shirt covering your face down, “Stop, you look pretty. Stop worrying.”

You gave a cold laugh, “I’m not pretty.”

You really didn’t wanna be a ‘pick me’ girl but the words slipped out of your mouth like a reflex.

He scooted closer to you on the bed, “Do you really think that?”

Fuck it right? You had already said way more shit than you had intended to. Might as well keep it going and just be honest with him.

“I’m not pretty. Or beautiful. Girls like Hana or Jennie are. And I know that. And I dunno it used to bother me but...it’s whatever now.”

His big doe eyes were filled with concern, “I haven’t said anything but I notice the way you act, especially when you feel like people are looking at you. You always try to hide yourself. And you always compare yourself.”

You exhaled deeply, thinking carefully about your words, “Well cause it’s true. I’m just not as pretty as other girls. And I’m really not trying to fish for compliments. Which is why I never talk about it.”

He gave a small laugh, “I know you aren’t fishing for compliments. You always act so shy and embarrassed if anyone says anything nice about you.”

Taehyung's eyes were entrancing you but you felt anxious under his steady gaze.

You averted your eyes so you were focused on your pillow, “Yea well it’s cause I don’t know how to take a fucking compliment. I just get so shocked I guess. Girls like Hana and Jennie are used to attention so they know how to be confident in themselves. I wish I could be like that.”

God, you hated the way you sounded. You literally hated the ‘I’m not like other girls trope’ that only pitted women against each other. Truly, you admired Jennie and Hana for being themselves and embracing their beauty in a society that feeds off of insecurity. You really did look up to them and wished you could be confident as them.

Taehyung's hand came up to your cheek and you felt the cold metal of his rings press against your face. He brushed the strands of hair that were hiding your face behind your ear and whispered hoarsely, “Why do you keep comparing yourself? Why do you keep thinking about things you want to change about yourself? You’re enough. You have always been enough.”

You felt like your heart was going to explode at his words. You had longed to hear those words from anyone in your life. As someone who constantly sees their own flaws, you craved for someone to say ‘you’re perfect the way you are.’ Taehyung's words meant the world to you but if only you could see yourself the way he saw you.

You whispered back, “Really?”

He gave you a little nod, staring deep into your eyes. In this moment, you felt so grateful for Taehyung. All those days you spent crying over him were nothing to this moment where he told you that you were enough.

You pulled him into a hug, “I missed you so fucking much.”

You felt his smile against your cheek. Your heart felt fuzzy and light for the first time in a long time.

You pulled away and looked at his huge boxy smile and fluffy hair. God, Taehyung would literally be the fucking death of you.

He was so warm in the bed next to you. You could literally feel the heat radiating off of him. You couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off your face. Because that’s how he made you feel.

You changed the topic because the dreamy look in his eyes sent shivers up your spine, “Taehyung, are you sure you don’t have to go tonight?”

“Nah, it’s not a big deal. It’s a big party but that’s kinda why I don’t wanna go. There’s going to be so many people there and I don’t wanna have to deal with that. Fake smiling and shit.”

“God I hate small talk.” you added.

“For real, like I get the weather is fucking nice I guess.”

You stifled a laugh.

He ran his hand through his curls, “Anyways, I do have to go tomorrow so missing today isn’t that big of a deal.”

You said, unconsciously pressing into him, “What’s tomorrow?”

“All the guys are going to Jungkook's lodge. It’s by a ski resort and shit. It’s really fucking nice.”

“That’ll be relaxing for you guys.”

“Well not really since Jungkook invites basically a shit ton of people so it’s never really just the guys.”

“Oh right. Well, it’ll still be fun for you maybe. Just to have fun with people.”

He placed his warm hand on your elbow, gently caressing it with his thumb. Your heart pounded at the action.

“Yea, but I don’t really care about any of those people.”

You smiled at his comment, Taehyung really had a great bullshit detector. He knew when people were using him for something.

“Will you come?”

“Where?”

He laughed at your comment, “To the lodge, stupid. With me.”

Oh. Oh. Why does he want you to come with him? What the fuck. Why doesn’t he take Jennie? Why is he asking you?

“I can hear you overthinking,” he said teasingly.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking like about homework and WiFi at his lodge. It might just not be-“

“For fucks sake. Just come. We can do homework together and hide from everyone. You can use my data if Jungkook's WiFi doesn’t work. Just please come. I want you there.”

God why does he have to say such sweet things? How does he know exactly what to say to tug at your heart strings?

“Okay. I’ll come.”

He exhaled deeply and laid on his back, “Thank goodness”

Your curiosity got the best of you, “Why do you want me to come so bad? Do you hate it or something?”

“I mean we’ve gone a couple times to Jungkook's place and it gets so crazy. I don’t know I just don’t feel like the same party kid I was a month ago. I know if you’re there I’ll feel sane. And I wanna hang out with you.”

“Tae, we literally see each other all the time.”

“I mean I have to make up for two years where we didn’t talk.”

“Fair enough.”

At some point in your conversation arguing about the best marvel movies (you were adamant that Civil War was a cinematic masterpiece while Taehyung believed Avengers: Infinity Wars was the superior film) you had nodded off, worn out from the long day.

You tried shifting in your sleep when you felt a heavy weight on your body. I must have left my books on my bed again. You tried shifting again, not caring if the books slid off your bed, but the weight didn’t shift. You tried moving but then you felt something pull you to the other side of the bed. You looked at what was pulling you and it was a hand. Taehyung's hand.

Your eyes widened in realization. You looked around and saw that Taehyung had his arm wrapped around your waist, with his leg thrown over your hip, completely pulling you into his embrace. His head began to nuzzle in the back of your neck. He still smelled so good, like comfort. You felt your cheeks heat up as your brain processed what was going on: Taehyung had slept over. Actually, Taehyung had slept in your bed. With you. And now he was cuddling with you in his sleep.

This felt scarily intimate especially since this was the first time you had physically slept in the same bed as a guy. You tried to slip away, maybe sleep in Hana’s bed or hide in the hallway, but Taehyung moaned (your face reddened even more) and pulled you back, “Where are..you going?” He croaked, sleepily, “You’re so warm. And comfy. Don’t go.”

He’s somehow even cuter when he’s sleepy.

“Tae, don’t you have to go?” You asked, hoping he would get up.

“Go where? I just want to stay in bed with you,” Your face literally flared. He peeked open one eye and smirked, “Still cute”

“Shut up. You’re so annoying. You need to go. You have to go to Jungkook's ski thing.”

“Fuck,” he said hoarsely, rubbing his eyes. God, his morning voice was so attractive.

He grabbed his phone and looked through it, “Yea Jungkook and the guys are texting me. I should probably go.” He dropped his phone on the bed and wrapped his arms around you, “I’ll see you there right?”

The familiar fluttering in your heart was getting stronger. The way your heart literally hadn’t stopped fluttering since yesterday. You knew you were in deep shit.

“Do you not get sick of me?”

“Of could not, beautiful”

You tried not to smile when he said that, “I think I prefer strawberry girl.”

He teased, “Okay, then strawberry girl I’ll see you later today right?”

“Yea I’ll come with Hana.”

“Bet,” he removed his arms from around you and hopped out of your bed.

He started packing up the things he had scattered in your room like his phone charger and his soccer uniform. You put your hands on your face and stared at your comforter, trying to focus. You could not believe you and Taehyung slept together. Even though it might not seem like a big deal to anyone, it was a big deal to you. The way his body felt, pressed against yours. How it felt so natural for you and him.

He looked at you, “Hey.”

You snapped out of your thoughts, “Hey.”

“I’m sorry.”

You laughed, “For what? You actually haven't done anything this time.”

His solemn expression made you realize he was being deadly serious, “I’m sorry for making you feel not important. I realized why you were upset about Jennie. I never meant to make you feel like you were a second choice or a backup. So I’m sorry.”

I was not expecting that.

“Oh. Well. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal. I shouldn’t have gotten that mad.”

“No ________ it was a big deal. You never deserve to be treated like you don’t matter.”

And then he looked at you, like there was something worth looking at.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck.

He left. You slightly remember saying bye. You can’t recall if he said bye back. The smell of him remained in the room. The red flags were going off In your head.

Now you were finally left alone, with your feelings. And the hard truth hit you like a fucking truck.

You heard the door click open. Hana came in with a huge smile, “Did I just see Kim Taehyung leave our room?”

You didn’t answer her question.

You didn’t know if you should cry because you somehow fucked yourself over again 2 years later or if you should be relieved that you finally had the courage to face the reality of your feelings.

You finally looked up at Hana’s concerned expression, “I’m in love with him, Hana.”

The words felt like a release. You had been bottling these emotions up for so long. If you were being truly honest, you had ignored these feelings since the frat party. You thought it would go away after you cried after his birthday party if you just ignored everything. But with your pillows smelling like him, with you desperately wanting to spend more and more time with him, with your heart beating out of your chest every time you saw his brown doe eyes, you couldn’t run away anymore.

You breathed out the very words you were most afraid of, “I fucking love him.”

Hana walked over to your bed and hugged you, “Oh honey, I know.”

author’s note: thank you for reading! i rlly didn’t expect to receive this much support and interest in my writing! lmk if you would like to be added to the taglist for this story! i think pt 4 will be the last part but it will be a little bit before it comes out. thx for reading 🥺💜

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts @embrace-themagic @bts-dreamybaby @belshka @trinbin039 @xxlostinseoul @sheislikearock @madjammil @guksflavor 

[rosethornewrites]

Saturday T & G reading

I caught up on so much of my subscribed backlog. Like, a shocking amount.

Finished

Teen:

The Red Ribbon, by NoMore_17 (8 chapters)

"Forgive me if I'm not enough.", he thinks.

Sitting in the centre of the space, Mo XuanYu opens his eyes to the knife.

"Well," he thinks, "it's time."

Or:

What if Mo XuanYu sacrifices his soul out of love instead of revenge?

(Don't) Fear the Dead, by Nika_Raven_Celeste (2nd in a series, 3 chapters)

Thrown into burial mound, delirious and sick, Wei Ying cried for someone to take care of him.

In another world, no one answered his pleas. Forcing him to take Demonic Cultivation, harden his heart, and abandon his morality for sake of survival.

Here, his pleas was answered.

By unexpected saviors.

Reaching you., by Elasarchives

Lan Wangji found about Wei Ying’s death.

Auntie knows best, by h0peless_oblivion

Yu Ziyuan doesn’t quite believe that it’s a coincidence that her nephew spends most of his nights at his best friend/coworker Lan Wangji’s place and comes home smelling of alpha…

She’s sure it’s also a coincidence that her nephew’s well-trained athletic build seems to be developing some softness here and there. Hm.

He seemed to have put a little weight on recently. Especially around his-- Oh.

“Wei Ying, stand up,” she ordered, needing to put her suspicions to rest.

-----

Modern cultivation au! in which Madam Yu figures something out about her nephew before he does… (then she gets him his husband🥰)

A Genie In the Emperor's Smile Jar, by Director_XuanWu

Stupid thing I made while on the road for 2 hours at 6 am.

General:

our hands holding water, by DizziDreams

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are night hunting when things go ... a little wrong.

Lan Wangji finds himself transported back to his five-year-old self, back in his mother's gentian house.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian finds himself caring for the most powerful cultivator of their age -- with the mind of a five-year-old.

no one lights a candle to remember, by asravine

“Didi,” Wei Wuxian says softly. His thumb on Jiang Cheng’s cheek is calloused and warm and burns of affection. Jiang Cheng barely stops himself from leaning in. “Didi, don’t cry because of me.”

I have thirteen years of mourning to catch up to, Jiang Cheng thinks, but doesn’t say. As always, the chasm between them is an incredible divide, and Wei Wuxian is the only one leaning his hand out into the darkness.

–

(or: Jiang Cheng and his memories of his older brother, before and after the fall)

No, Wei Wuxian, You Cannot Divorce A Man You Haven't Married Yet!, by stiltonbasket (2 chapters)

"Have you heard? The second young mistress of Yunmeng Jiang broke her troth with Hanguang-jun and ran off to the Burial Mounds with Wen Qionglin!"

"Ah, poor Lan-er-gongzi. Breaking her sister's engagement wasn't enough for Wei-guniang, she had to betray her own intended!"

___

In which Wei Wuxian ditches the cultivation world, Lan Wangji goes grocery shopping, Lan Sizhui narrates his parents' love story, and Nie Huaisang is the only one who knows what's really going on. Prompt fic!

sweet lotus petals, unfolding in the sun, by stiltonbasket (11 chapters)

In Wei Wuxian's defense, no one told him not to drink from the cold spring.

"In my defense," Lan Xichen groans, "I didn't think you would."

"We should put up a sign," Wei Wuxian says brightly. "'Consumption of these waters may result in a case of unexpected radish.' Lan Zhan can build it, and I'll do the calligraphy."

(Or, the one where Wangxian have a baby, and the lost love of a lifetime finds her way back home.)

Always, by kimboo_york

"There were rumors, of course there were. Some were more...more creative than others. As far as he was concerned, though, it mattered little if his son was a found changeling or his illegitimate offspring. A-Yuan was his son, and that was that."

The mystery of missing goats and children leading sects, by WitchAuntie

Many things can happen in three days. Get transformed into a six-year-old, uncover a conspiracy from some lesser clans, help resolve a huge mystery about who has been kidnapping Yunmeng’s goats, and then prove oneself to the Lan Elders and get their way.

Lan Sizhui is very tired, and she wants to sleep for at least another moon cycle, thank you very much.

A Good Match, by oleanderedits (11 chapters)

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's personalities clashed from day one, becoming a heated rivalry. Each striving to out-do the other and stretch the rules of GusuLan as far as they could without breaking them in their unspoken - but obvious - battles. Things start to go awry when Wei Wuxian ups the game and starts one of the most spiteful and hate-filled courtships the world of Cultivation has borne witness to.

But surely they won't take it too far! Surely they'll stop before it gets to the point of absolute embarrassment!

(of course they don't)

With This Here Worrisome Heart, by JungleJelly

When Wei Wuxian raises his wide eyes to try and catch his brother’s, they are scrunched tightly shut. He lurches away, vaguely horrified for a reason he can’t pinpoint.

“Jiang Cheng…?”

There is no response, but Jiang Cheng turns away from Wei Wuxian and folds onto his side.

What is happening here? This is unprecedented, and Wei Wuxian has no idea what to do.

Finding Comfort in Pain, by Anonymous (4th in a series)

Lan Zhan found comfort in pain.

Stuck in mind, by 999loveyourself (4 chapters)

Where the next generation schemes to give their elders and themselves a happy ending.

(In honour of the scenarios not leaving my mind, but not coherent enough to weave them into a long work of fan fiction.)

Lingering Warmth, by StoriesOnlyScarsCanTell (7th in a series)

When Wei Wuxian was young, he had a trick to scare the people who wanted to hurt him.

Unfinished

Teen: 

Love Song In Reverse, by timetoboldlygo

Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.

Well, that and Hanguang-jun.

Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.

-

Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.

the taming of wild rivers, by colorfullysarah

The words roll off Yanli’s back, harmless and unable to affect her as she reaches out towards a-Cheng and gently grabs one of his hands. He immediately stops crying. Yanli’s own tears only fall faster down her cheeks as she smiles. “Hello, didi,” she whispers. “I’m so happy to see you.”

Li Xiamei finally arrives, apologies filling the air, but her father waves them away. Yanli has never been a disobedient child before this moment, all can be forgiven, after all it is good that she is excited to meet her younger brother.

“I promise to protect you,” she continues, ignoring the adults in the room. A-Cheng blinks at her and even though she knows he’s too young to smile at her yet, she can see his joy in his eyes. Now all she needs to do is find a-Xian and bring him home as well. After that, the real work will begin.

Or, Jiang Yanli dies at Nightless City and goes back to start from the beginning.

Callous, by Jengabears

"Jiang cheng! How could you stab me for real?!"

"Stop whining! You deserved it!! You broke my arm!"

Wei Wuxian is swaying but Jiang Cheng refuses to look fully at him, too angry about the arm. He hears a soft "Jiang Ch..." behind him as he begins to descend the mountain. Then a soft sound like falling.

The disciple in front of him points behind him and says "Sect leader he..." but Jiang Cheng dismisses him angrily.

"Ignore his theatrics! He just wants the attention. He's no longer my problem! Let's go!" and refuses to allow himself to look back at the brother who had abandoned him.

and so it goes, by doyeorem (pomellogranate)

"While a person is dead in one particular moment, they are still alive and well in all of the other moments of their life, because all of time exists at once."

-

In which Hanguang-jun is at Qiongqi Path, and instead of Jin Zixuan's death, he witnesses Wei Ying throw himself in the way of a punch from the Ghost General, and three swords - one of which is Bichen.

The Burial Mounds is enraged and offended, and many suffer for it.

A place of Gold, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

A few days after Wei Wuxian has parted from Lan Wangji on a forest path, he gets surrounded by Jin officials in an Inn, who formally ask him to return to Jinlintai to fill in the position of Sect Leader, as is his right and duty.

Wei Wuxian thinks it is an artful prank. Until it is not.

Hippocampus, by firstdeadloser

Wei Ying wakes up after being in a coma for two years, but has forgotten everything about being married to Lan Zhan and raising Lan Yuan together. Now, he must let go of his old life and do his best to regain his memory in order to be the best father he can be, and the best husband he can be.

[ Wei Ying wakes up in 2021 after being in a coma since 2019, but believes he’s still a single college student in the year of 2015 ]

A Jealous Flower Tries To Break The Sun's Silver Moon, by Preludian_Staves

Believing his mother when she said that no good son of a servant owed everything to the Jiang Sect, Jiang Wanyin tries to guilt Wei Wuxian into giving him his Golden Core after finding Wen Qing's Golden Core theory.

Or

Wei Wuxian learns how to rediscover his place in the Cultivation World during the Sunshot Campaign and after the War. Possibly with help along the way.

General:

to miss you is to tear apart my soul, by puddingcatbeans

"I'm here," Lan Wangji says. Lan Wangji does not lie.

"Aiyah, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. His soul is weary but he feels, finally, that he's found his way home. "I know."

[a collection of tender feelings disguised as wangxian ficlets]

Only you know my name, by Mydla

“Wei Ying. This name shall now be forgotten by everyone, both in the mortal realm and the heavenly realm. You shall remain imprisoned until someone calls you. Use this time wisely and reform yourself. Now, let the verdict be done.”

To Repeat, Repay, and Repair, by adrian_kres

Wei Wuxian has died again and his family grieves. Lan Sizhui, now married and with children of his own, grieves the loss of both fathers, as Lan Wangji has entered seclusion. But somehow, he unknowingly sends himself back to the time he spent in the Burial Mounds at three years old. Will his family take his confused, nonsensical warnings seriously? Are they doomed to repeat the same fate?

Told from alternating points of view.

[embyrinitalics]

Calamiversary: Link’s POV II

Here’s some more scenes from Link’s POV—about 2.4k worth! (I rly hope this makes up a little bit for the fact that I haven’t updated in two months omg)

But you know how I said that reading through my old stuff makes me cringe? Yeah this is like, way worse. It’s all unedited, and I wrote these in December 2018, so it’s all old. It’s all embarrassing. 😬 But with that disclaimer, I’m going to put my personal feelings aside and let you guys read it if you want 😂

Also now that I’m looking at this I feel like they’re not in chronological order, like that scene with Revali stabbing him should have come after these ones with Mipha, but   o h   w e l l

Here u go!

  Drowning

At first, all that registers is the pain, white and hot across my throat, and the numb realization that I’m going to die.

Of course, it’s not that simple for me.

The half of me that I’m always suppressing senses my weakness, slamming frantically against my defenses in the span of a heartbeat. I have to choose between saving myself and containing it. So I pour everything I am into holding him in, dragging him down with me in a white-knuckled grip. But he fights back.

The pain is agony, a thousand heated needles covering my entire body and then being driven down to the bone in nauseating synchrony. He thrashes in my hold, tendrils of his hate whipping out in places, and my vision blotches white. I feel the deathstroke across my throat heal; the earth quaking beneath my feet; the malice seeping out of me like blood oozing out of a wound.

I can hear myself screaming beyond the war, part agony and part fury. Part man and part beast. It’s slowly tearing me in two, ripping ligaments and shredding flesh as it claws deliriously towards escape. I grapple with him, desperately trying to hold on even as he starts pulling my limbs apart. But I know it’s only a matter of time.

Then I see her. Her light cuts through the pain, through the fear and the hate, brilliant and pure as the sun. I can’t speak; I can only stare, imploring her with my eyes to end me quickly.

She takes my face in her hands and I suck a sudden breath. Her glowing touch is warm and soft, comforting, and not the violent end I had been expecting—the touch of a goddess, and for a moment I can breathe.

Then her light engulfs everything—the woods, my body, and soon my mind. The relief from the pain and the peace of it is so indescribably jarring that I don’t resist, falling headlong into it.

And then I’m drowning. Drowning in the sensation of her between my hands, of the softness of her lips under mine, of the closeness of her. Drowning in sensations that are brand new and millennia old at once. I’m drowning, burning from the inside out, and even though it aches I don’t want it to end.

I remember myself, haltingly, and muster the will to let her go. I drop my forehead against hers, grappling with how much I want her—and with how far I’ve let myself fall. There’s no amount of leniency on her part that could possibly excuse this. But I’m not concerned with the consequences for myself; only with how my lack of self-control must have affected her.

“Forgive me,” I breathe. “That was—”

But she silences me, her soft, delicate fingers brushing my mouth with a feather-light touch that sends another pang of want rippling through my middle. Her eyes pierce into me, unendingly blue and so powerful I can’t help but wonder if it’s her magic. Then she exhales, drifting closer, her eyes falling heavy-lidded to my mouth just before they close completely. And the feeling of her lips meeting mine, electric, breathless, so warm, sends me diving under the surge of sensation again.

I draw her close, losing myself in her. There’s nothing even close to this—her touch, her taste, the sound she makes when I angle her head to deepen the kiss.

And I don’t know why I’ve denied myself for so long. I’ve always wanted her. And now that I’ve tasted this, tasted her—even all the armies in Hyrule couldn’t keep me from her now.

I smile against her mouth. Slaughtering them would be easy.

Through the intoxicated cloud swirling in my brain, the thought snags unpleasantly, like a potent flicker of light in a comfortable darkness. It’s enough to slow me down, enough to make me think.

Enough to make me realize this can’t possibly be real.

I stop, pulling away slowly to search her eyes. So familiar. So beautiful it makes my heart ache.

But she’s been dead for 10,000 years.

I want to ignore it, dive headlong into the illusion of her. But I can’t unsee it. I murmur, breaking the spell, “This isn’t real.”

She blinks, and suddenly she’s different. Still familiar. Still beautiful. Still alive. And then the pieces are snapping into place, and the woman in my hands isn’t the one I loved so many millennia ago. It’s the Zelda of this era, the one who only knows me as I am—as the Calamity. And we’re reliving one of her memories—one of my memories—

And it’s agony. All at once the peace is gone, the gentle, tremulous bit of happiness the memory had lent me and I had been nursing in my heart like a single spark in an endless night, and the hatred is flooding in. The anger. Everything the illusion had been strong enough to veil.

And I remember what I am. I feel the evil pouring through my veins like a poison. I feel it making my heart pound stronger. I feel it coloring my vision and filling me with desires I must never obey.

And it’s agony.

I’m quaking on the inside, partly from fury and partly from shock. And then I erupt.

“What are you doing here?”

She looks as lost as I feel, green eyes glittering with shock and fright. “I—I don’t know—”

“Is this some kind of a joke to you? You think that just because you have her memories that they’re yours to do with as you please?”

“No! I didn’t mean to do this—”

Oh, I want to break her. I want to hold her down and force her to taste some of the pain I have. I want to hear her scream. But I push her away instead, unwilling to give the monster the edge.

“Well undo it!”

She stumbles into the mantel, turning back with that pretty face covered in tears. And the satisfaction and the guilt churning together in my stomach makes me feel sick.

“I don’t know how!” she tries to reason. “It was an accident!”

I turn away and try to breathe. That glimmer of humanity, after 10,000 years without—and then to have it just wrested away—

“This how you operate when you don’t get your way, then?” I bite out before I can rein it in. “Prick the Calamity, see if he bleeds?”

“I told you it was an accident,” she says again, more quietly.

She sounds so miserable. A very small part of me wants to comfort her. But I’m so furious I can hardly see straight. Forcing me to relive this moment—with her—

What was she thinking? What in the name of the gods made her think she had the right? Hadn’t I been through enough? Hadn’t I endured enough torture over the last eon? Did she really have to reach down into my most private, most intimate moments and drag them into the daylight, too? The last, precious fragments of who I was, that I hold onto so fiercely, lest I lose myself completely—

Why?

“Magic doesn’t just materialize out of nothing,” I growl, closing the distance again, propelled by a fresh wave of anger. “What did you want to know? If it would hurt me to relive this? If I could even tell the difference between you?”

She winces like my words had been a slap. “No!”

“Then what?” I grab ahold of her, desperate for this to be over. Desperate to just—just feel nothing. “Do you want me to admit that you remind me of her? That I’m in agony every time I look at you? Is that it?”

“I don’t want anything! Let me go!”

“Would it please you to know that I am?” I murmur, my voice dangerously quiet, and she goes still. “Every time.”

And now, I realize numbly, it will be worse.

Because now she doesn’t just remind me of what I had with my Zelda.

Now I’ve tasted her, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to again.

  Frightening

“I’m sorry about what happened with the Champions,” she says quietly, catching me off guard. “I imagine it was… frightening, losing control like that.”

Yes. Yes, it was. I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid of anything in my life as I was in that moment, so close to rupturing, so close to tearing her apart with a thought, so close to losing myself completely and destroying everything I love in the aftermath. I want so badly to tell her, to unburden myself. I know she’s hoping I will. And that just… makes the temptation worse. She’s staring through me with unseeing eyes, full of the desire to understand, to heal even a little bit of the damage. I want to pull her closer, taste her again, thread my fingers in her hair and indulge in the warmth of her. I want to lose myself in her touch, in her lips, lose myself to her instead of to the monster working to claw its way out of me. I want to—

Gods!

“You were right,” I manage, finally. “They weren’t to know.”

“How have you been since?” she asks. So eager. So earnest. So gentle. It’s infuriating. “Any lingering effects? Urges to explode?”

“I always feel the urge to explode,” I scoff, grateful for the levity. “But no. The seal is as strong as it ever was.”

  The Zora Princess

We stop to rest and I quietly remove myself. So I can breathe. So they can breathe.

The air tastes clearer once I put some distance between us, like grass and wind and the malice in my mouth instead of the honeyed flavor of their adrenaline. The pressure in the back of my mind eases somewhat without the constant temptation, but the hollow gnaw of the hunger is just as strong as it ever was. I lower myself into the prairie grass, beating back a groan.

The Gerudo and that bird creature are arguing about something. It makes Zelda laugh.

That’s good.

Then the wind shifts and the air tastes of sugar and salt, and I turn towards it slowly. It’s the Zora girl. She’s so short the grass is up to her knees, and her trident has become more of a walking stick than a weapon. She’s so quiet it’s easy to forget she’s there—but she’s one of the Champions, and royalty, if the headdress is any indication. I’m sure she’s stronger than she looks. The fact that she’s confronting me on her own is evidence enough.

I tilt my head at her as she draws close, feeling after that gentle spike in her heart rate as I fix her in my stare. It makes my spine burn.

“Princess,” I greet her quietly. “To what do I owe this honor?”

She leans on her staff, remarkably calm, and I can feel the tendrils of power wafting off her.

“You’re in a great deal of pain,” she says.

My lips move towards a frown as I draw the inevitable conclusion. Just my luck. “You’re a healer.”

“Yes.”

And her magic is a peculiar brand. Very strong, almost magnetized in the way it drifts towards injury. It’s what brought her to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she could bring someone back from the brink of death.

I contemplate her usefulness for a moment; but I need to go much further than the brink, and that’s well beyond even her abilities.

  Dreamcraft

I carry her up to the campsite, lay her near the fire and rouse it a bit so she isn’t freezing, and then grudgingly lift the sleepweb from the Zora girl. Her eyes open and then drift upwards, like she’s watching the spell float away.

Her eyes settle on me, finally, all golden and rippling, and she says, “You seem better.”

She’s a strange one. No demanding what I’d done, or where I’d gone, or what had happened. But she’s also sharp. Sharp enough that her bold-faced concern makes me feel manipulated. But she’s not wrong. I had been caught up in feeling terrified to notice, but the hunger had faded into background noise. Throbbing, like something swollen. I frown, trying to puzzle out how that had happened.

I finally admit, because it’s too easy to admit things when I’m with her, “We shared a dream.”

“And that helps?”

I can’t be sure if it’s the emotional implosion that follows one of her illusions merely drowning the hunger out, or an actual, measurable, residual effect of her dreamcraft. Either way, it’s worth studying. Which is horrifying.

“Maybe.”

We sit by the fire in silence for a while. That’s easy, too. Almost like we had been friends once, in another life. I’m watching the flames, and she’s watching Zelda, and then so am I.

“Could you enter her dreams now? While she sleeps?”

The idea of sauntering into her mind uninvited worms unpleasantly in whatever scrap of my conscience is left, vaguely reminiscent of guilt. But she’s plowed headlong into mine more than once, so it seems only fair. For some reason that reasoning doesn’t make the worming stop. I still haven’t answered, and her eyes glide to the side of my head. I call up the fire more, loosing a taut, tired sigh at her persistence.

“Possibly.”

It’s noncommittal and non-revealing, which I assume will grind her advance to a halt. But she slips around it like water in that infuriating way she does.

“You should try it sometime,” she says.

I tilt my head at her. “You don’t find the idea of trespassing on her mind morally objectionable?”

She shrugs. “Not as objectionable as you tearing a swathe of Hyrule up by the roots.”

And that’s logic I can hardly argue with. Her eyes say she knows. And suddenly I find the image of her pretty crimson skull smashed against the stone and its contents spattered everywhere very appealing.

“You need her,” she adds, too simply, too condemningly, and I have to swallow down fury and terror.

Because she’s right.

The night drags and drags and drags, dread and disgust whipping me into a tumble of disquiet and every quiet tremble of fear or pleasure from her tempting me into her head.