#in my defense I keep getting prompts that work with trans men having kids

[robininthelabyrinth]

Would you write something where Jiang Fengmian is Wei Wixian's biological father because Wei Changze was a trans man?

ao3

The woman that men called Cangse Sanren, a title she accepted out of lack of anything better to use, had any number of suitors, but her favorite one was one that never formally approached her to state his suit – neither the one who scolded her because she broke all the rules, nor the one who idealized her for it, but the one who made her laugh about it.

His name was Wei Changze.

She could tell that he liked her from the way he blushed when she smiled at him, the way he tried to spend time with her whenever he could – often in the company of others, but not always.

“I think it’s time for me to get married,” she said to him as they walked along the waterfront. All her other suitors had been busy with work or play or other things; only Wei Changze had the time – or the strength of will – to abandon all of that to keep her company. She liked that, and knew herself to be a bit selfish that way; she was not willing to share her lover with anyone, least of all a sect.

Wei Changze’s eyes revealed the stab of misery, but he forced a smile on his face. “Congratulations,” he said. “The man you have chosen to wed must be a very lucky man indeed.”

“I think he is,” she agreed, and tucked her hand in his. “Would you like to visit the astrologer to pick a date, or shall I pick one for us?”

Wei Changze’s surprised face, she decided, was extremely charming.

He stuttered a great deal, tried to say some denial, but she would have none of it.

“You like me, don’t you?” she asked, and he affirmed. “Then marry me.”

“There are things you don’t know about me,” he said wretchedly. “I could never please you as a man should – we would never have children –”

“I feel moderately confident that pleasure will not be a problem,” she said. “And my fortune says that I will have both no children and several, which to me suggests adoption is a perfectly plausible future. Did you really think I would care that you bleed by the moon, as I do?”

Wei Changze looked startled, and she tapped her nose, reminding him of how well she could track blood during the night-hunts they went on together.

“So, with that aside, do you have any further objections?” she asked. “If not, let me know and I will catch a fish and use its bones to cast a fortune for us so that we may wed on an auspicious day, and then go travel the world with no one but ourselves and each other.”

She could see the yearning in his eyes, not only for her but for the life she described, and after some time he agreed.

Her other suitors were not pleased, and one most displeased of all – though she couldn’t really blame him, given that she was robbing him both of the woman he was chasing and the man he’d thought would be at his side forever.

She was very magnanimous about it. She didn’t even complain when Wei Changze showed up at her door, stinking of men and guilt and regrets.

“He was yours for a long time,” she said gently when her beloved tried, with tears in his eyes, to apologize for the transgression. “It is difficult to let go of the old ways, and accept the new. Consider it a gift of farewell to him, and a gift of new beginnings to me.”

“How can it be a gift to you?” Wei Changze asked, wiping his eyes and kissing her. “Forgive me. It will not happen again.”

She wasn’t sure why it wouldn’t be considered a gift to her, but it seemed rude to mention, and it wasn’t until months later that she learned that most people couldn’t tell so quickly that a child had caught.

“What did you think I meant?” she asked, puzzled, as he paced around the small room at the inn they had rented – they were far away from Yunmeng now, traveling together with no company beyond a donkey. “Anyway, you don’t need to worry. It’ll be an easy burden, an easy labor.”

“How can you tell?” he asked, diverted. “You didn’t even throw sticks or look at bones for that.”

She shrugged, unable to explain that he simply smelled healthy, and the baby quiet. “A quiet quickening makes for a loud baby,” she finally said. “We should be prepared for a troublemaker.”

“We should be prepared to return to Yunmeng! This child is the heir to Yunmeng Jiang!”

“No, he isn’t,” she said peaceably. “He’s our son.”

“Son – wait, a boy? Really? That’s wonderful…no, wait, that’s worse. You don’t understand. My lover – his position – our son is the eldest child of Yunmeng Jiang.”

“His sister is older.”

Wei Changze stopped pacing to stare at her.

“Didn’t you know?” she asked. “That’s why the spider of Meishan Yu is so desperate to wed him.”

Wei Changze sat down abruptly, the bed beneath him creaking in protest at the sudden weight. “He never said,” he said, sounding numb. “He never – I didn’t know. How old is the girl?”

“Nearly three.”

“Fuck.” A moment of silence. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have – not even as a goodbye!”

“That’s probably why he didn’t say,” she said wisely. “At any rate, we’ve been gone for months – Sect Leader Jiang should have already accepted her suit, and she’s the one bearing the heir. A legitimate son always trumps one born out of marriage, that’s how humans do it – isn’t that right?”

“Yes, well done, correct description,” he said, still sounding stunned. “I guess you’re right…but he’ll guess, if he sees him. He’ll know.”

“So what? We won’t go back to Yunmeng. He won’t be able to do anything about it, no matter what he knows.”

“But – Yunmeng…” He fell silent for a moment. And then – “Can you read a fortune for the child?”

“This far before birth?” she asked, startled. “No. It’s bad luck. We don’t even know what their astrological signs will be.”

“Please,” Wei Changze said, and he’d really never asked her for anything before. “Please. I need to know. Yunmeng is my home; I need to know – what I’m giving up. If it’s worth it.”

She still thought it was a bad idea, but she rolled up her robes and waded into the river to catch a turtle using nothing but her bare hands, snapping its neck and putting it over a fire to read the cracks in its shell.

She frowned at what she saw.

“What is it?” Wei Changze asked. His arms were wrapped around his belly.

“The child will live, and shine like a star in the heavens,” she said. “A genius, for better or for worse.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Sometimes. Not always.” She shook her head with a sigh. “There’s bad news here, too. Tragedy.”

Death.

The child would save the world, one day, but the balance of all the heavens’ gifts was that he would grow up an orphan.

And after all that effort she’d put into making herself a happy life, and even finding herself just the right lover, too!

They spoke about it several times over, never quite rising to the level of a fight, and in the end Wei Changze agreed to keep the child and abandon Yunmeng, and to live out the few years they would have with the child in peace and joy. When they died, the child would go to Yunmeng, and be raised there.

It was what they agreed.

And yet –

The time came, and Wei Changze died first before the vicious beast’s claws, throw himself in its path to protect her, and she – she didn’t want to go. She liked her little Wei Ying, she liked her life, and, yes, she liked her lover, but her lover wasn’t everything, had never wanted to be everything, to be the sun and moon and stars for her until she could not live without him.

Something ruthless stirred in her bones. Something dark and selfish, vicious and mean, the same thing that had made her elder martial brother go mad, years before, and become a pestilence on the world.

She didn’t do that.

She just drew back her skin to show fang and claw, and she fought back, and she won.

“An orphan,” she murmured later, holding her little Wei Ying in her arms that were still splattered with the blood of her kill. “Raised without his parents…”

She shook her head.

There were as many ways to fulfill a fortune as there were to skin a cat.

“It had to be one of us,” she said in the direction of Yunmeng Jiang. She can’t quite bring herself to be apologetic about it. “And I picked you.”

At least the Violet Spider would make an excellent regent sect leader on behalf of her young son, after her husband died.

In fact, maybe she should go see her, when it was over.

She did always like good company.

[hipsofsteel]

Find Out For Yourself

A RusCan fic written during FemSlash February 2015 (FrUk and eventual AmeBel as well) 

Prompt: Person A goes by an alias, to the annoyance of B. The only way B will learn A’s name is to “find that out for yourself.”

Anya Braginsky has been using an underground social site for years to speak to other members of the LGBTQ community. Her best friend is a user named MapleBabe, who was her first friend online. Two years after their first online meeting, they both agree to go to Hetalia University, and MapleBabe challenges Anya to discover who she really is. While trying to figure out the mystery, Anya meets Madeline Bonnefoy, a fellow member of the school's women hockey team, and develops a close friendship, all while still trying to discover and meet MapleBabe. She might be a bit closer than she thinks.

PS This work features Trans Girl America

[Chapter Masterpost Here]

Chapter One: Mystery

There’s always those ‘shady’ sites on the web. People assume that if you’re on them, you’re a bad kid or a pervert.

There’s one site though, that I love. It’s a chatroom site designed to bring in the closet kids to a safe place. There’s escape buttons on every page, and you can find support from people going through the same problems as you.

So, I guess that’s why I’ve been using this profile to meet people for the last two years.

My actual name is Anya Braginsky, though my online friends call me AnyaBee. I’ve known that I’m a lesbian from the time I realized some women like other women more than men.

I’ve never actually dated a girl. The town I’m living in is far too narrow-minded for that.

Next week though, I leave for college.

My laptop dings, and I pick it up.

MapleBabe is online.

Ah. My best friend.

AnyaBee: Hey, how’s it going tonight?

MapleBabe: Am I allowed to murder my little brother?

AnyaBee: What did he do this time?

MapleBabe: He decided it was cool to draw penises all over my sketchbook cover.

AnyaBee: What is he, twelve?!

MapleBabe: I know. I have to go burn the front cover now and purify my sketchbook. I was so fuckin pissed.

AnyaBee: So, ready for college?

MapleBabe: Yep. I guess we’ll finally see each other at some point, since we’re both going to Hetalia University.

AnyaBee: It would help if you told me your name. You know mine already.

MapleBabe: Well, you’ll just have to find that out for yourself, Anya.

We’ve been talking to each other nearly the whole time I’ve been on this website. Part of the reason why I haven’t actually dated anyone is because I want to meet Maple first. She’s sweet and funny, and rarely swears, unless her brother’s an idiot. However, she’s also a pro at online security. No real name, just that same phrase. You’ll just have to find that out for yourself. Drives me crazy in both bad and good ways.

We talk for a while longer, until the message MapleBabe has escaped appears on my screen. That’s the nice thing about this site. It informs you if they just disconnected or hit the escape button. Makes it easier to figure out if you want to keep messaging someone.

I lean back, sighing. I hope I’ll be able to meet up with Maple eventually.

Hetalia University is a small private school. It’s got a huge expanse of private property to it’s name, and the campus is a gorgeous green in the middle of a big city.

Really, it was the only option I even considered when I was looking at schools. Big city instead of small town, amazing science program, and a huge GSA.

And I got a dorm with one of my best childhood friends, Odeta Laurintinas.

“Oh wow. This room is just for two people?” She stated when we entered. There was a oven and stove, a decent sized fridge and mini-freezer, and two awesome comfy beds, along with a shower-tub.

“Basically a giant badass hotel room without the TV.” I said after examining the room.

She nodded, and we settled in for the night.

I was here at Hetalia on scholarship, for which I had no shame. I was here as a player on their women’s hockey team. They were one of the few schools to offer it.

So the next day I went to meet my coach and some of my teammates.

I was a tall woman, and I almost always ended up playing offensive, which I didn’t mind. Some of the older girls greeted me with smiles.

Coach Baudin grinned. “It’s good to see you again, Anya. You’re one of two new players to join us this year.”

I nodded. “It’s good to be here.”

At that moment, another player came out onto the ice. “Coach Baudin, I’m sorry I’m late.”

The coach turned, as did I. A small blond woman was skating out towards us. “Ah, good to see you Maddie. Girls, this is Madeline Bonnefoy, our other new edition to the team. She’ll be playing defense.”

She smiled. I was a little curious. I was the tallest of the girls, but most of them were either fairly tall or pretty broad. Madeline was a whisp. How’d she even get on the team?

I soon found out.

It was a usual test to put the new kids on opposite teams and see how well they did with the team and against each other.

Almost every time I got to the goal, Maddie was there, trying to steal the puck from me. Needless to say, we were fairly bruised by the end, especially when I slammed into her at one point and we both went down.

AnyaBee is online

AnyaBee: Well, I hurt in places I didn’t even know existed.

MapleBabe: What happened?

AnyaBee: Hockey practice was extremely brutal. I went up against the other new player. Nice girl, kinda small for a defense player, but she was super good.

MapleBabe: We small people have to establish we can kick the tall people’s asses sometimes, or else they forget to respect us.

AnyaBee: I know, but ouch at the same time...

MapleBabe: Well, how goes the search for my true name?

AnyaBee: I’ve literally been here two days, don’t get angry at me yet.

MapleBabe: I’m not angry, just curious.

AnyaBee: I’ve got a class early tomorrow morning, so I’m gonna sign off now.

MapleBabe: Okay. Good night.

AnyaBee: Good night.

I leaned back into my bed, glad for Advil. Odeta was watching Chopped as a study break. She was surrounded by medical textbooks.

“What’s the weirdest item in the current basket?”

“Fruit loops.”

“Mm, remind me to get some of those for breakfast sometime.”

“K.”

MapleBabe: Whatcha have for breakfast this morning?

AnyaBee: Fruit loops in my dorm room.

MapleBabe: Shame. Twas pancake day in the cafeteria. They actually make awesome pancakes. I was expecting something from the microwave.

AnyaBee: Given how much we’re paying them, they’d better not fed us microwave pancakes if we decide to buy food.

MapleBabe: It’s pancake day every Tuesday.

AnyaBee: I’m receiving the hint, my dear. However, trying to find out who you are is not going to be narrowed down much when we are surrounded by other people.

MapleBabe: But not all of them will be eating pancakes.

AnyaBee: Wow, that makes it so much easier…

AnyaBee: Do you know that there were exactly sixty-seven girls eating pancakes this morning in the cafeteria?

MapleBabe: Sixty-eight if we count you.

AnyaBee: Har har har how do you know I didn’t smuggle in some oatmeal?

MapleBabe: That’s easy. I saw you.

AnyaBee: ...

AnyaBee: ...

AnyaBee: you’re kinda mean, you know that?

MapleBabe: Well, that’s not very nice.

Maple and I talked nearly every day, though not very long after hockey practice, because I was usually ready to pass out.

In hockey however, I struck up a friendship with Maddie. She was gorgeous, and loved the sport. I learned she’d been raised by two dads. Her papa had gotten married to another man when she was about five.

“And that’s how I got a younger sibling. No actual relation, just by marriage. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love them.”

“I’ve got two sisters. One older, one younger. Their names are Sofia and Natalia.”

“Oi, Bonnefoy, Braginsky, get over here.”

“Yes Coach!” We both shouted and then skated over.

MapleBabe: So, have you come to any conclusions on my identity yet?

AnyaBee: No.

MapleBabe: We’ve been in school two months. I’m at pancake day every day, eating pancakes.

AnyaBee: Yeah, I’ve narrowed that list down to about fourteen girls you could be.

MapleBabe: I saw you had eggs this morning.

AnyaBee: I’m not as loyal to pancakes as you must be.

MapleBabe: Only because they are delicious and one can cover them in syrup and also it’s not just flapjacks. There are crepes, potato pancakes, all sorts of flat, delicious food you can make in a pan.

AnyaBee: Like hamburgers.

MapleBabe: Now you just sound like my brother…

Winter break came, and with it, dread.

I didn’t want to go home to see my family. If it was just my sisters, I would be fine, but my parents were not people I wanted to be around.

When I told Maddie about my dread, she nodded. “I just might have a solution.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. My papa loves having people over for Christmas. Dad’s not particularly social, but if papa insists, he’ll be fine. So, why don’t you come over to my house for Christmas?”

I paused. “Maddie, what religion are you?”

“Well, it’s weird. Papa is Catholic, dad’s Church of England, and both Alfred and I are protestant.”

“I’m Eastern Orthodox. I don’t actually celebrate Christmas on December 25th. I celebrate Epiphany on January 6th.”

Maddie paused. “Well, then there will just have to be a second celebration for Epiphany at my house.”

MapleBabe: So how’s it going?

AnyaBee: I’m fairly happy. I don’t have to go home for Christmas.

MapleBabe: Really? Where are you going?

AnyaBee: To Maddie’s house. She’s the other freshman hockey player, in case you don’t remember.

MapleBabe: Oh no, my Anya’s going to another girl’s house! How dreadful! I must speak to this Maddie and tell her you’re off-limits!

AnyaBee: Are you trying to write a jealousy sub-plot into my friendship?

MapleBabe: No, I’m being a sarcastic butt.

AnyaBee: I was also being sarcastic.

MapleBabe: Love you.

AnyaBee: Love you too.

Maddie’s house was a strange culture clash in a way.

I met her papa Francis. He was borned and raised in France, and seemed to be a flirtatious man, though Maddie told me despite the demeanor, he was only in love with her dad.

Arthur Kirkland was a stiff-backed, permanently on edge Englishman. He and Francis were always having little arguments, but you could tell there wasn’t any real venom in their voices. It was more like their way of teasing each other.

Maddie’s brother was a sophomore in high school. Alfred Kirkland spent most of his time in his room, ignoring us.

“He’s been acting weird lately. Don’t worry, it’s not you.”

I spent most of my time in Maddie’s room, and there I finally confided to her.

“I’m a lesbian.”

She looked at me, and then nodded. “Okay.”

She was the first person I’d ever actually said the words to, and soon I found myself spilling out everything. How I figured it out, joining the website, meeting MapleBabe, how I knew she was a student at Hetalia, but I still wasn’t sure who. How I thought I loved her, but I was beginning to feel like maybe she was just toying with me.

“I mean, I know she’s just worried about her life being compromised, but I just wish I knew who she was. It would make it hurt less when she tells me how good I’m doing in hockey, or how she knew what I had for breakfast on Pancake Tuesday.”

Maddie nodded. “That sounds pretty rough, Anya. I’m sorry.”

“The worst thing is just not knowing.”

She nodded, and then took my hand. “It’ll be okay. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

MapleBabe: How are you, y dear?

AnyaBee: Good.

MapleBabe: Happy Epiphany.

AnyaBee: Thanks.

AnyaBee: BTW, you left the M off my.

MapleBabe: M

AnyaBee: Wow, such fix.

MapleBabe: Wow, such grammer you has.

MapleBabe: We’re a back at the old Hetalia University.

AnyaBee: Yep.

MapleBabe: Random question, have you ever just said Hetalia over and over again.

AnyaBee: No…

MapleBabe: It’s really fun. Try it.

AnyaBee: No thanks.

MapleBabe: Fine. HETALIA HETALIA HETALIA HETALIA HETALIA HETALIA HETALIA HETALI-

MapleBabe: -A

AnyaBee has disconnected

MapleBabe: Fine, spoilsport.

Christmas had been good. Maddie’s whole family respected my religion, and Francis even offered to drive me to the nearest Eastern Orthodox Church, which I accepted.

After I came back from services, Maddie handed my a little box. “I thought you might like this when I saw it.”

I lifted the lid off the box, and inside, made of colored glass, was a sunflower.

“You had the image taped in your locker of a big Mammoth Russian sunflower, and I thought you might…”

“It’s beautiful. Thank you, Maddie.”

She smiled, and I nearly said something, but then stopped myself.

“Oh, and we made something special for you for dinner.”

I raised an eyebrow, and Maddie guided me into the kitchen-dining room. Francis had just finished setting the table. He turned and smiled. “I looked up some recipes online. I hope that nothing seems like I was stereotyping your heritage.”

Breads, fish, soups, and more. It seemed like an attempt at a nice Russian meal with a French twist.

“Thank you, Francis. I…” I wanted to cry, in a way. “It’s…”

“You don’t have to say anymore, Anya.” He smiled at me. “I’m just glad that you’re having a good time.”

MapleBabe: Do you miss your parents a lot?

AnyaBee: No. I miss my sisters. Sofia moved out, and she’s living with other people, but it’s too close to feel like I can visit. And poor Natalia’s got another two years before she can leave.

MapleBabe: I’m sorry.

AnyaBee: What about you?

MapleBabe: I had a really nice Christmas at home, though my brother decided to hide nearly the whole time. I wasn’t sure if I was glad or mad about it. I mean, I haven’t really got to see him since I left in the fall.

AnyaBee: Well, he’ll come to realize how awesome you are eventually.

MapleBabe: Oh god, you sound like one of my uncles. He never stops saying awesome.

MapleBee: It’s probably the first world he learned. Just like “Awesome blah blah awesome awesome awesome ME!”

AnyaBee: I will try to avoid accidentally impersonating your uncle in the future.

MapleBabe: Ow...

AnyaBee: What happened?

MapleBabe: Roommate threw her DD bra in my face. She just finished her laundry.

AnyaBee: At least it’s clean…?

MapleBabe: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

MapleBabe: And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end. We are the champions. We are the champions. No time for losers...

AnyaBee: Are you going to keep typing Queen lyrics?

MapleBabe: Shut up.

MapleBabe: And yes.

MapleBabe: 'Cause we are the champions...

MapleBabe: OF THE WORLD!!!

AnyaBee: I see you have heard the hockey results.

MapleBabe: My dear, I was there cheering you on.

AnyaBee: I’m glad you were able to come today.

MapleBabe: Yep. Though to be honest, I kinda think we need to change the spelling of hockey.

AnyaBee: ...Why?...

MapleBabe: Just think about it. Hock-i

MapleBee: Except without the dash.

MapleBabe: It’s Tuesday, oh glorious pancake TuEsday!

AnyaBee: I’ve narrowed it down to eight.

MapleBabe: It’s February 7th. You’ve got a few more days until the day of love. Which coincidentally, is the next Pancake day.

AnyaBee: Whee, thanks for reminding me.

MapleBabe: Yee of so little faith. I’ve been giving you clues since January.

AnyaBee: What are you talking about?

MapleBabe: I knew that by keeping this game going so long, you were gonna need some help. Go back to our chats since New Year’s, and use your code-breaking skills to find my hints.

AnyaBee: Alright. I’ll play along for now.

I groaned, and Odeta looked over. “You okay?”

“Supposedly I’ve been missing the coded message this girl has been sending me.”

Odeta paused. “Remember when we used to pass coded notes back and forth?”

“Yeah.”

“She’ll have probably used something that hid in plain sight. Otherwise it would have been too obvious.”

“Very helpful.”

Odeta shrugged, and returned to her textbook.

Two days later, I sat in the library, thinking.

Maddie came up. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, just that Maple told me she’s been sending me coded messages since January.”

“A code? That’s kinda cool. Alfred and I used to send each other coded messages.”

“What type of code did you use?”

“Oh, I’d purposely misspell a word, and the missing letter or capitalized one was one of the letters in the word. Then I put them in order to spell the word.”

I paused. “That’s a weird code.”

“But it worked. Papa and dad never figured it out.”

Maddie’s phone suddenly started ringing. “Oh, I’ve got to take this. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, same.”

I waited until Maddie had left, and then I tried her code. Maple was almost always a proud member of the grammar and spelling police. Misspells or weird spellings would be obvious.

M

A

I

E

MapleBabe: So, any luck today?

AnyaBee: Maie.

MapleBabe: No.

AnyaBee: The M left off of my, the hetali-A, the suggestion to spell hockey hock-i, and TuEsday.

MapleBabe: So close. You are so close!

AnyaBee: But not right?

MapleBabe: No, not right.

I might have just slammed my head into a brick wall. I paused before typing again.

AnyaBee: Where are the missing letters?

MapleBabe: MA-IE

AnyaBee has disconnected.

I found the date window in which I was looking at, and re-read every entry.

No misspells or strange grammar.

“Where are you, Maple?”

I scrolled through it again when I found the comment about her uncle. I stopped to laugh, until I realized that she’d capitalized ME

MAMEIE wasn’t a name though, unless Maple’s parents had an unusually cruel sense of humor.

I started to scroll down again, and then stopped.

MapleBabe: Roommate threw her DD bra in my face. She just finished her laundry.

DD…

I wrote it down, wondering, doubting.

But the name in front of me was one I knew.

MADDIE

[robininthelabyrinth]

My prompt is just more trans au. Various people reacting to baobei. Just i love trans au so much thank u for this gift.

Baobai Pt 1 - on tumblr, on ao3

-

“Oh, hey, you have a kid,” Wei Wuxian said, out of lack of any other conversational topics that weren’t ‘so are you here to kill us all?’. Kids were usually a good, neural topic, especially when they were that small. “Look at her, she’s so tiny! Her parents know you brought her out here?”

“She’s da-ge’s,” Lan Xichen said with a smile and a nod towards Nie Mingjue, who as tall and terrifying as always. He was glowering at the half-grown radish fields as if he was personally offended by them.

“Congratulations, Chifeng-zun,” Wei Wuxian said to him, hoping to stave off any impending violence. The baby was young enough that the mom was probably still in isolation recovering, and maybe hadn’t consented to said baby being brought to the Burial Mounds of all places - certainly Wei Wuxian wouldn’t have agreed to cart a small infant all the way from Qinghe, and he’d thought mothers preferred to remain near their children in the few months after birth - but Wei Wuxian was not really in a position to object.

Certainly not after the quick work Nie Mingjue’s saber made of all of his defensive arrays. That man was scary.

“Thank you,” Nie Mingjue said, and it was awkward for a moment until he added, “Pain in the ass to acquire.”

That made everything better: Wei Wuxian knew how to deal with snark. “Oh yeah? Carried her yourself, did you?”

“Ten fucking months,” Nie Mingjue said, and Wei Wuxian laughed and shot Lan Xichen a wink, figuring that his stupid joke about having given birth to A-Yuan had made the rounds. Funny, he wouldn’t have pegged Lan Wangji to be the sort of person to pass on jokes…

At that point, Nie MIngjue twisted his head around to look at Wen Ning and Wen Qing, who were hovering nearby, trying to hide A-Yuan behind their legs, and said, “She’s your cousin three times removed, if I have my family tree down right, so stop being queasy and let the kid come see her.”

“Fuck,” Wen Qing said, and abruptly sat down. “I’m sorry.”

Wei Wuxian had the distinct feeling he was missing something, especially when Wen Ning’s expression shifted from equally puzzled to outright horrified.

“It’s not exactly your fault, you’re not soldiers,” Nie Mingjue said, and glared at the radish field again. “But in all seriousness: let the kid see her.”

Wen Qing waved a vague hand at A-Yuan, who correctly interpreted it as permission and zoomed over to the baby as fast as his little legs could carry him. He was in that another-kid-how-cool phase that all kids had, and babies were a particular fascination.

“You’re cousins?” Wei Wuxian asked Nie Mingjue, feeling a bit weird about. Three times removed wasn’t close, but still…of all people...“With the Wen sect? You?”

Nie Huaisang made a strangled noise that from anyone else Wei Wuxian would have said sounded a bit like he was going to imminently stab someone.

Nie Mingjue just gave Wei Wuxian a look like he was an idiot. 

“No,” he said very slowly. “I’m not.”

Wei Wuxian continued not to get it, right up until he glanced at Wen Ning who mouthed a name at him and – wait, but no, that’s impossible – but he’d have to be – wait, he was from Qinghe –

Wei Wuxian suddenly noticed that he had sat down on the ground as well at some point.

“Pain in the ass,” he said blankly. “Right.”

Nie Huaisang was glaring at him like he really was going to pull out his never-used saber to start chopping Wei Wuxian into bits, and honestly that might be a preferable option to the sheer awkwardness of having just put two and two together like that in front of so many people. Maybe he could use demonic cultivation to open the ground up beneath him? It’d never been done before, but then again, that was most things he did…

“Why are people so weird about babies?” Nie Mingjue complained, picking up the baby in one arm and a giggling and blissfully ignorant A-Yuan in the other, swinging them both around a bit. “They’re like – lumps of little people. We were all babies once. It’s not that weird.”

“You heard him,” Jin Guangyao said to Wei Wuxian with a smile that looked like it had daggers in it. “It’s not weird at all. Right?”

“Right!” Wei Wuxian said hastily.

Apparently scary people flocked together. Though, did that mean there something he was missing about Lan Xichen..?

-

Lan Xichen smiled at Jin Guangyao, who smiled back. That was really the only good thing about these discussion conferences, he thought – they were long and draining and he had to meet a lot of people he didn’t want to see (Sect Leader Yao ranked highly), but he got to spend a great deal of time with his sworn brothers, which he didn’t often manage. And, really, that made everything worth it.

“How are things going?” he asked in an undertone, scanning Jin Guangyao with his eyes. Madame Jin did not have the reputation for being a kind woman, especially not about her husband’s affairs, and he couldn’t help but worry.

“Manageable,” Jin Guangyao assured him, though it wasn’t really that comforting. “It helps that this conference isn’t at Jinlin Tower – less to arrange, less work to fall on my shoulders. It’s positively easy by comparison. When did you arrive? We’ve been here for a shichen already, setting up.”

“Just now. They’re still moving our things into our rooms –”

“Er-ge! San-ge!” Nie Huaisang’s voice rang out, sharp and clear and murderous; they both turned to look at him at once to try to determine if it was the sort of murderous that meant someone had bought out a painting he’d liked before he got there or if it someone had actually offended him. He had a fixed smile on his face, which boded no one any good. “I was just looking for you. I want to chat.”

“What happened?” Lan Xichen asked, looking around – they were more or less alone, and a quick hand-seal made it so that they wouldn’t be easily overheard. “Did someone do something to Baobei…?”

He couldn’t believe they still hadn’t named her, the poor thing.

(Jin Guangyao had briefly been lobbying for them to name her A-Shi, but then Nie Mingjue told him that if he wanted to have a girl named Nie Shi he ought to man up and sire her himself, and ever since then Jin Guangyao had been proposing different names entirely. Possibly he was concerned Nie Mingjue would take back the offer if he used up the name.)

“Surely not,” Jin Guangyao said. “In the middle of the Lotus Pier…?”

“Not Baobei,” Nie Huaisang said. “But your father just figured out who carried her, and he just – he put his hands – he said he had the right to check on account of da-ge having misled them –”

Lan Xichen observed, a little distantly, that he’d previously thought that the phrase ‘seeing red’ was an exaggeration, rather than a perfectly accurate description.

“Did da-ge rip him to pieces?” Jin Guangyao asked, sounding as if he was very much in favor of that result.

“He did not,” Nie Huaisang said. “You know how he is during these conferences; he’s far too reserved. Slapped his hands away but didn’t do anything else about it.”

“Surely that would put an end to it…?” Lan Xichen suggested, mildly hopeful, but the expression on Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang’s face did not fill him with much expectation.

“He’ll try something,” Jin Guangyao said flatly. His voice tremored briefly, full of rage even he couldn’t hide, and he gripped his hands together tightly. “He will try something.”

“Sect Leader Jiang will help us keep them separate for the conference,” Nie Huaisang said. “He still hasn’t figured out the details of Baobei’s parentage, I think he’s convinced himself that men just bear children – in some way that man is as dumb as a rock, same as when we were teenagers, I don’t know how anyone is that gullible – but he’s offended on da-ge’s behalf anyway. But when the conference is over for the evening…”

“It would be unfilial of me to plan my own father’s assassination,” Jin Guangyao said, and his eyes slide towards Lan Xichen, questioning. “But if you wanted to have a theoretical discussion regarding the security system at Jinlin Tower, and the weaknesses thereof…”

“Yes,” Lan Xichen said, putting aside all concerns regarding the morality of assassinations, and found that he didn’t regret the decision one bit. He’d barely tolerated that lecher when he had no choice, when he was Jin Guangyao’s father and a powerful sect leader. But putting his hands on da-ge – thinking of doing more – “Let’s have that...theoretical discussion.”

“I knew I could count on you two,” Nie Huaisang said with satisfaction. “So here’s what I was thinking –”

-

One of the worst days of Nie Huaisang’s life started quite normally – waking up when his brother lifted him bodily out of bed and slung him over his shoulder.

“Da-ge!” he yelped. “Da-ge, no – it’s too early –”

“If you stayed up late, that’s your own problem,” his brother said with the sort of purposeful cheerful sadism that only a person who actually enjoyed waking up with the sun to go train could employ. “I told you yesterday that we were going to be training this morning.”

“But da-ge –”

“You missed the last three days. You’re not missing today.”

But it’s so fucking early, Nie Huaisang thought despairingly, drooping into dead weight over his brother’s shoulder – not that that helped, of course. His brother was too damn strong.

“Are you sure you’re not taking out your feelings about getting fat on me?” he asked, poking at his brother’s somewhat-rounder-than-usual waist. “That peacetime bulge of yours hasn’t gotten any smaller, you know…”

In all honestly, Nie Huaisang was delighted by the small swell of his brother’s usually flat stomach. His brother wasn’t vain – his body was a tool shaped for purpose – and the idea that his brother had finally let go enough, whether by eating more or resting more, to actually gain some weight…

“Whatever you say, pork bun,” his brother said, and Nie Huaisang yelped and hit him because he was not a pork bun! No matter how pale or chubby he might become!

It was a hot day, which of course made going through the steps of training even more miserable than usual. His brother was patient as always, showing him the steps and then making him repeat them a few times before starting up his own morning training routine; after a while, they both got into a nice rhythm, swings and chops.

Training wasn’t that bad, especially when it meant he could spend more time with his always-busy brother. He still didn’t like it, and obviously he had a reputation to uphold, and yes, it was obnoxious to get up early...but it could be worst.

And then, just as Nie Huaisang was turning to tell his brother a joke he’d heard the day before, he saw his brother abruptly turn pale and fall over.

He even dropped Baxia.

“Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang screamed, a thousand ancient fears rearing their heads at once, and he rushed over at top speed. “Someone get a doctor! Quick!”

Not a qi deviation, not a qi deviation, don’t be a qi deviation, he prayed, dropping to his knees next to his brother, who was already waking up – eyes clear, not red, and looking more confused than anything else. He’s too young, I’m not ready, I can’t lose him, not him, not yet, please –

On Nie Huaisang’s instructions, some of the nearby retainers helped Nie Mingjue back inside, even though he was insisting that he was fine.

“You collapsed,” Nie Huaisang snapped at him. “In morning training. You are going to see a doctor, and that’s final.”

Nie Mingjue held up his hands in surrender, looking amused at Nie Huaisang’s uncharacteristic fierceness. His amusement faded into sympathy when he realized why Nie Huaisang was so tense – their father’s death had hit them both hard – and he pulled Nie Huaisang into his arms for a hug.

“It’s not that,” he said confidently. “Not yet. The doctor will tell you.”

The doctor’s face did something funny, though, when he listened to Nie Mingjue’s pulse. Not the oh-no-it-really-is-a-minor-qi-deviation sort of funny or even a nah-total-fluke-you’re-overreacting sort of funny, more of a what-the-fuck sort of funny.

“What is it?” Nie Huaisang demanded. He knew enough medicine – the entire Nie sect knew enough medicine – to understand most basic diagnoses, as well as what they might mean for future health. “What type of pulse?”

The doctor hesitated.

“Well?” Nie Mingjue said. “Spit it out.”

“…a joy pulse,” the doctor said. “About five months, I’d guess.”

For a moment Nie Huaisang didn’t understand. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what a joy pulse was – he did have female friends, some of whom were now mothers – nor that he didn’t know that his brother was capable of carrying, he’d known that forever.

It was just that his brother was an antisocial misanthrope. He didn’t have any lovers, as far as Nie Huaisang knew, which meant he shouldn’t have a joy pulse. 

Besides, five months ago they were still at war! His brother took his duties far too seriously to waste time on a battlefield dallying with someone, anyone, and especially not if there was a major battle around that time. Five months ago there must have been one – which one was it?

Five months…the main force of the army had gone up from Xingtai to Shijiazhuang six months ago, and then there would have been – Yangquan.

Yangquan.

When his brother had been duped by false information into leading an attack on what should have been a mostly abandoned outpost, but which turned out to be in the middle of being reinforced by Wen Ruohan personally – when his brother had been captured – tortured – and even -

“Shit,” his brother said, presumably realizing at that exact moment that Nie Huaisang was capable of math and also dates and possibly even logic. “Doctor, you can go, thank you.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t even hear the doctor leave.

“Huaisang…didi…” His brother was trying to pull him into a hug, but Nie Huaisang didn’t want one, struggling unsuccessfully to get away. He didn’t want to be any closer to – to that – to the creature sitting his brother’s stomach, weighing him down; to what he’d thought was a sign of peace and good times and what was actually nothing more than yet another scar left by the war.

He’d actually been happy about it, and the thought twisted his stomach.

“Can you get rid of it?” he asked, voice strangled. “You can, right? It’s still early…”

“Five months is pretty close to quickening,” his brother said, wincing. “After quickening, the medicines don’t work as well. It might not be that easy.”

“Do you know how dangerous childbirth is?!” Nie Huaisang demanded. His mouth was moving on automatic; he wasn’t even thinking about what he was saying. He wasn’t thinking of anything, anything at all, because if he was thinking he’d have to think – he’d have to – his brother – “What if it kills you? You can’t let them kill you! Not after everything we did to avenge A-die!”

“I’m not going to die,” Nie Mingjue said, holding him tightly, his chin on Nie Huaisang’s head the way they always where when they hugged. “I’m a very good cultivator, Huaisang. My golden core will keep me healthy, even if I start bleeding…it won’t be like your mother. I promise.”

Nie Huaisang started shaking. “Da-ge,” he whimpered, pressing his face into his brother’s shoulder. “Da-ge, tell me…”

“Anything,” his brother promised, and he’d regret that promise in another moment, Nie Huaisang knew, the question would only cause him pain, but he needed to know. The second they were out of this situation his brother would clam up, pretend that nothing had happened and that it was all fine, so if he had questions – and he did – then he needed to answer them now.

“Was it – who was it? Was it him?”

His brother stilled.

“You said you’d tell me,” Nie Huaisang reminded him.

“…I don’t know,” his brother said. “I don’t – it could be. But it might be – someone else.”

There had been more than one, then. Nie Huaisang swallowed back bile, wanting to be sick. His father’s murderer had forced himself on his brother, and he’d let others do the same, and now they had to deal with the fallout.

“I want to kill them,” he whispered. “I want – I want them dead – all of them –”

“If it’s anything, I’ve made a pretty good head start on that already?” his brother offered, and of course his brother was trying to find some levity in a terrible situation. “We broke them, Huaisang. Even if some individuals remain, there’s no Wen sect left. If I do end up keeping it, the child won’t have a paternal family to lay a claim – they’ll be surnamed Nie. Another Nie, like you and me. You’ll be their uncle; you have to forgive them, it wasn’t their fault...you have to spoil them rotten.”

His brother’s thumb wiped away some of Nie Huaisang’s tears.

“You’ll be a good uncle, didi,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Nie Huaisang’s brow. “If the child is surnamed Nie, that’s all that matters.”

“People will know,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “About you, about…I’m not the only one who can do math. We won’t…it can’t be kept quiet, can it? People will know. About you, about - what happened.”

“Let people know,” his brother, brave as ever, said with an indifferent shrug. “What do I care? In the end, it’s just another way to show that even when they threw everything they had against me, I still won.”

-

“What a charming child you have,” the young man from the mountain – Xiao Xingchen, he said his name was, and he was already famous despite having only been around for a few months – said, smiling down at her. “She’s beautiful.”

Nie Mingjue was not currently feeling especially kindly disposed towards human reproduction at the moment, being currently heavy with his second – the world needed more Nies, he wanted more Nies, children to keep Nie Huaisang company if that qi deviation he was promised ever actually turned up, and he had a very good list of cultivators with various pros and cons willing to help him introduce some more diversity into the Nie bloodline to try to minimize the chance of future qi deviations for his descendants, but at the same time he hated waddling around like a stuffed hippo with a bunch of people insisting that he not even think of physical exertion – but he nodded his thanks regardless.

At least for once someone wasn’t going to comment about the child’s parentage, he reflected wryly. There was only so much purposeful playing dumb a man could do, and the first year or so of his little baobei’s life – by the time they’d finally gotten around to trying to name her, the nickname had stick so firmly that they’d succumbed to reality and made her given name A-Bao, though of course, it being Qinghe, no one actually called her that – had really strained his tolerance in that specific regard. 

It was the quickest way to avoid awkwardness, to pass along the information while avoiding conversations he didn’t want to have, but still…

Nobody brought up on a celestial mountain would know about Wen Ruohan, though. He was pretty sure of that.

“And I see you’re expecting another? Sometime soon..?”

“I am,” Nie Mingjue said. “Soon enough.”

Not soon enough. He wanted to go back to training – why did he keep getting high blood pressure no matter how much medicine he took?

“I see,” Xiao Xingchen said. “You’ll have to let me give you a gift of some sort. Do you have a favorite form of cloth?”

Nie MIngjue blinked at him. “Cloth?”

That was a strange gift. Did Xiao Xingchen think that his sect was so poor that he couldn’t cloth a child?

Xiao Xingchen – who was really quite young – blushed red, the color going all the way to his ears.

“I’m sorry for my presumption,” he said, then hesitated, before saying, very delicately, “Have you finished preparing the nest for the egg, then?”