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bronx-bomber87 · 7 months ago

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First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.

I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.

6x08 Punch Card

Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.

Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.

Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.

Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.

This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.

Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.

This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....

Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.

Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.

Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.

Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha

What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.

Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…

Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.

This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...

Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.

Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.

From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.

Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.

First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.

‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.

Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*

Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.

Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.

I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.

She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.

Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.

Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.

He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.

Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.

That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.

Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.

But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.

#Caitlin's Mini reviews #chenford #s6 #6x08 Punch Card #the rookie 6x08 #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #tim bradford #lucy chen #eric winter #melissa o'neil #otp: doing my job #otp: unless it is

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innxrvision · 6 months ago

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So long - pt. 1 𒂭

part 1 of 3 ------------𖦹 tags: james hetfield x reader, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, bet, 80s james, a little angst if you squint, more tags to come in future parts ♱ a/n: i have no idea of what i'm doing actually. i never wrote anything and english is not my first language so there'll be probably a lot of mistakes, but after reading too many fanfics I simply ran out of content and also the community has been a bit dead for awhile so here's my humble contribuition to the cause (the cause being thirsting over james hetfield). anyway, this was supposed to have only one part but i felt it got too long so i chopped in half, i'll post pt 2 as soon as i can! meanwhile, i would be very happy with any criticisms or suggestions. if you find any language mistakes please please correct me, i'll be very thankful! also, i have no idea of how to work this app out 'cause all i've been doing all my life is liking and reblogging stuff so bear with me please!!

𖦹 part 1 𖦹 part 2 𖦹 part 3

You knew you fucked up by showing up late to their gig, but in your defense, it wasn't your fault that your boss choose this day of all days to get you stuck at work.

"Well, at least I showed up!" you thought to yourself, but the cold look James gave you when he finally spotted you at the crowd wasn't so forgiving.

After the last song, you rushed to the backstage, wanting to say hi to your friends. The place they were playing today was pretty small, but the crowd was buzzing with energy and the entire show was great.

Before even entering the door that led to the small and thrashed dressing room you could hear the excited voices of the four guys. First, it was Kirk who embraced you in a thrilled and sweaty hug, then Lars, and finally Cliff. You chatted briefly with them before finally going towards James, who was pretending to not notice you while fixing something in his guitar.

You could only see his back and the messy and wet blonde hair covering his lowered face. You knew he was mad, of course, he was your best friend for years and a look was all that it took for you to get how bad the situation was, but at the same time, you couldn't understand why be so mad if, in the end, you showed up anyway.

"Hey, don't be mad at me..." You said softly, touching his shoulder to make him recognize your presence.

In response, James just rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, leaning his guitar against the wall.

"You said you would be here on time!" He complained, his expression already revealing that there was nothing you could say to convince him, but your stubbornness wouldn't let it go, of course.

"It's not my fault! I got stuck at work... What did you want me to do? I tried my best, alright?" You wanted to sound a bit more gentle, but being tired after a long shift didn't help your nerves much. You sighed, already slightly annoyed.

James crossed his arms, his gaze falling hard on you as he spoke.

"You make it seem like you don't have time for your best friend."

"Don't be unfair, I always come to your gigs and always hang out with you!" You gestured frustrated. "Sorry that I've got stuck at work today, it's not like I wanted to be late!" It was hard being reasonable when both of you were tired and stressed and you did your best to not raise your voice too much, as it could worsen things even more.

You looked around the room, checking to see if the other boys were paying any attention to your little argument, but thankfully Lars had already left the room and Kirk and Cliff seemed too absorbed in discussing something that you assumed related to the show.

"Maybe if you got the balls to look for a better job instead of working at that cheap dinner you would've showed up on time today!"

Your mouth opened in shock as you heard James' harsh words, it was clear that he was already worked up and your expression instantly turned cold.

"Now you went too far." Your voice carried a mixture of sadness and anger that made James regret his words quicker than he thought he would. "Sorry that my job isn't good enough for you, rockstar, but I can't afford to go around playing music just like you do, I actually need the money." With that you turned your back, not interested in hearing anything from him anymore, and exited the room, not even bothering to say bye to Cliff and Kirk who now looked at each other in confusion. It didn't help that now you also felt embarrassed that they heard your stupid argument.

"Wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that!" You could hear James' voice saying from inside the room, his anger now turning to guilt as he realized the impact of his words.

You just kept walking until you reached out outside of the building and stopped by a wall, resting your back against the cold concrete and searching up your pockets for your pack of cigarettes and your lighter.

With the cold breeze of the night, it took a few tries for you to successfully light up your cigarette and when you took the first drag you heard some footsteps approaching. You refused to look toward the sound, just kept doing your own thing and looking down until you saw a pair of dirty white sneakers stop right next to you.

James took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before finally speaking, his raspy voice gentle and sincere.

"I'm sorry about what I said inside, I didn't mean any of it, I was just angry 'cause I really wanted you to be there for me tonight... You're my best friend and I care about you."

"It doesn't seem like you care much." You scoffed in response.

"I know I messed up and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you." You heard him sigh and pause for a moment, probably searching for the right words. "You're not just any friend to me, you're my best friend." He added.

"Then why did you say that?" You asked crossing your arms, the cigarette still dangling between your fingers. "If I'm not good enough for your 'metal band lifestyle' then whatever, just don't go around saying I'm what I do with my life is not worthy." You sighed and took a drag before lowering your voice, your tone slightly more gentle now. "I work hard, y'know? Sorry that I was late once, at least I came!"

He took a deep breath once again and ran his hand through his hair, you took this opportunity to gaze at him for a moment. You knew your anger couldn't last much longer, it has always been like that.

"It's not about my lifestyle and it's not about your job, I was just being a jerk. I got too caught up in my anger and..." He trailed away. "C'mon... I'm really sorry."

You looked away and took another drag, you knew you wouldn't hold a grudge for that.

"Whatever." You muttered. "It was a good show." You added after a moment of silence, it was your peace offer.

Even without looking at him, you could sense his smile opening up, whenever he smiled the whole place would light up.

"Thanks." He said. "Can we just forget about everything that happened earlier and go grab a drink or something? I'll pay." He sounded hopeful again and you knew this was his way of making things right with you.

You nodded and flicked your cigarette off, stepping on it.

"Sure, let's go."

There was a faint smile on your lips and in response to that James smiled even bigger, he put his arm around your shoulder, guiding you towards a nearby bar.

"Great! Let's have some fun just you and me and make up for everything that happened tonight!"

"What about the equipment and the guys?" You ask, suddenly remembering their existence.

"Don't worry, Cliff's gonna get my stuff and bring it over to his place, I told 'em I would probably not come back." He answered, entirely back to the laid-back personality you were used to.

"Right." You hummed in response, just letting him guide you as he started chatting about today's crowd excitedly.

#innxrvision's writings #metallica x reader #metallica fanfiction #james hetfield #james hetfield imagine #metallica imagines #james hetfield smut #metallica smut #james hetfield x reader #metallica headcanons #metallica fluff #80sjames #james hetfield fanfiction #james hetfield x you

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basket-of-cats-and-witches · 2 months ago

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Tidbit Tuesdays: Sometimes Sylus Deserves to Get Punched

....in sparring. Usually.

Tidbit Tuesdays is where I share little bits from my WIPs or pieces that I'm particularly proud of. In this case, it's mostly just funny segments where Sylus spars with Kit (or AUs where she hates him) with a surprise extra!

Obviously warnings for blood and violence.

If you liked this, it would be wonderful if you could leave a like or reblog. It lets me know that people like what I'm doing, and encourages me to keep writing!

Side note, I think because Sylus is so tall, he's occasionally thrown off by fighting people who are also tall. It doesn't happen often, but Kit's 5'11, sooooo.

Notes:

First up is AU where Kit is the MC. There's another tidbit further down that you'll see that mirrors this one, and it's because this one is the best parts of that...thing condensed and changed into something else. Sometimes when you write, you just have to Frankenstein it into a different piece entirely.

⭐

This kitten is vicious.

Her foot crashes into his cheek, swift and unrelenting.

It's been long enough since he's fought someone who's almost his height that he's nearly thrown off by it.

Sylus whips around, using his evol in an attempt to pin her down.

“Cheap,” she snarls. “Having to resort to your stupid red shit.”

He scoffs, spitting blood. The injury is already beginning to heal. “I'm merely using the tools at my disposal.”

She writhes violently, her eyes gleaming with a feral light.

The twins are off in the distance, the shouts of their prey quickly being cut off.

“Hold still or this will hurt.” His warning only causes her to fight harder, and Sylus sighs.

His evol tightens, making her face him.

The bright flare of his eye is reflected in hers, and she looks confused. Pain lances through her face.

The blade whips out almost faster than he can predict it, slicing into his cheek.

“Is that how you treat your host?” He asks, and she tenses as the cut heals. “It looks like you really don't remember anything."

⭐

Notes: This is an fake/pretend marriage WIP that I really should get back to. I pulled it up for this post and remembered how much I loved it. Not much to say here except researching sparring/self defense is fun.

Edit: I looked further, this is one of my first Kit/Sylus fics before I'd nailed down personalities! How cute! I always thought Kieran was the chatty one...

A week later, Luke and Kieran appeared during their daily sparring match.

“We have presents!”

Sylus looked up from putting Kit in a headlock, his hold tight as she writhed and scrabbled at his wrist.

“Oh?” He glanced back down. “Kit, we talked about this. Wedge your hands and chin, step under and away.”

“It would be easier if I just bit you,” she grunted, yanking forcefully out of his grip. Sylus went to grab her hair, dragging her back towards him, and she used the momentum to slam her head into his gut, making him cough.

One stomp on the instep later, and she'd whirled a short distance away, panting heavily.

Sylus nodded. “Good. You're getting better.” He glanced towards the twins, gesturing them over. “What is it?”

Kieran handed him two tiny boxes, and he smirked. “Good. Kit, come here.”

She trotted over, wiping her face with a towel.

“Hold out your hand, sweetie.” Sylus opened one of the boxes, slipping something onto her ring finger.

She glanced down and her eyes widened. “Boss-”

“Sylus. You were doing so well. You're going to have to get into practice for this mission.” He arched a brow. “Unless you want them to think we have a different sort of relationship.”

Blushing violently, Kit corrected herself. “Sylus. Right. I didn't…I didn't actually expect you to get it.” She looked up at him, confused, completely unaware that the twins were fixated on this exchange. “It's just for a single mission. It doesn't- “ she swallowed hard. “It doesn't mean anything.”

Sylus hummed, considering his response. “You liked it,” he said simply. “Kieran and Luke are easy to please, but you're allergic to any sort of gifts. Unless they're weapons, of course. Consider it a sign of my appreciation for your service. It's yours to keep.”

Kit felt her heart stutter, her skin heating. The weight of something so small felt so odd, the ruby shimmering in the gym lights like a particular glint she knew so well.

She cleared her throat shakily. “Thank you, Bo- Sylus. It's beautiful.”

He gave her a strangely tender look, accompanied by an odd smile. “Of course. You never ask for anything. It's my pleasure. Now, it's your turn.” He held out the other box.

She shot him a confused look, opening it.

Inside was a heavy rose gold band, subtle geometric shapes patterning its surface. She gasped as she noticed the most dazzling element- a strip of amethyst inlaid in the middle.

Sylus chuckled. “Well? Are you going to do the honors?” He held out his hand.

Kit pulled the ring out gingerly, ignoring Kieran’s snickering.

“I'm pretty sure if she blushes anymore she'll turn into a tomato,” he whispered to Luke.

Luke elbowed his twin sharply and shushed him.

It was strangely simple, the act of sliding a ring on Sylus's finger. His hand was warm and sturdy, the rough calluses of his skin scratching against hers in a way that made her involuntarily shiver.

Kit glanced up to see Sylus smiling. “There we go,” he murmured. “Easy as could be.”

Her lips parted in surprise. Why were his ears turning pink?

⭐

Notes: This one is pretty damn suggestive. Which is the reason I never posted it, because it's borderline NSFW. It's mostly inspired by the very first scene where MC is hunting for the brooch and Sylus is just. In a towel. I imagine when you're that close to the boss, you're bound to get an eyeful at some point.

Notes:

“Come in.”

Kit walked into the bedroom, looking around. “Boss…?”

A glass door clicked open, steam billowing into the room. Sylus poked his head out, his skin flushed from the heat. “Here, Kit. Report. How did it go?”

She froze in place, eyes wide. A few droplets of water slid down the column of his neck, dipping into his collarbone and caressing the line of muscles as it trickled down, towards his-

Kit turned scarlet and immediately whipped around, making a strangled sound as she pressed her palms to her face.

A warm, loud chuckle sounded from behind her. “Oh, come on. Our little assassin is afraid of a little nudity? I'm sure you've killed people in worse conditions, sweetie.”

“Usually I wait until I can't see their dick,” she hissed sharply.

He snickered. “Perhaps not as expert an assassin as I thought, if that's all that stops you.”

Kit whipped around, lunging at him with blade in hand, pressing it to the slick skin of his neck. He simply tilted his chin up, glancing down at her.

“Just because I'm inexperienced in some matters doesn't mean I won't push through for the job,” she growled at him.

Sylus quirked a brow at her. The heat and humidity coming off of him pressed against her thin houseclothes, and she quickly became aware of how close certain parts of him were to her.

“Wow,” he commented. “I've never seen someone turn into a tomato in real time before.” In a flash, the blade clattered to the ground, and he pinned her up against the glass barrier that separated the bathroom from the bedroom.

Kit felt her heart rate spike as his damp skin came into full contact with her, his hands sliding up to entwine his fingers with hers.

She could feel her thin shirt growing wet, the water droplets on his skin turning the white fabric translucent in places.

His face was too close to hers, his breath warming her face as he spoke. “It's my bedroom, kitten. You should be prepared for what you're likely to see when you walk in, next time.”

⭐

Notes: Ah, the misunderstandings fic. Also our bonus OC for this post. Depending on when I decide to post it (or the ADHD kicks in and I forgot I put this here, because I schedule these) you may see the WIP as an actual fic posted before this one comes out. Anyway, Kiri, being the actual MC, genuinely doesn't like Sylus because she's best friends with Kit. Go figure. Kiri will always be a Zayne girlie, and more power to her.

Sylus catches the fist before it hits him.

Cold, steely blue eyes glare sharply at him, and he's impressed by the sheer extent of the rage on Kiri’s face.

“If you've hurt her,” Kiri snarls.

He doesn't give her the chance to continue. “Our spat will have to wait, honey,” he bites out, sickly sweet. “I have to go resolve a misunderstanding.”

A hard boot slams into his shin, and he grunts in pain. Sylus flicks his fingers and launches her gently out the bedroom doors. They swing open on his command. “Get out. I'm not in the mood to play.”

“She's my fucking friend, asshole!” Kiri snaps back. “What the hell are you doing to her? Why did she look so…so…”

“Heartbroken?” He supplies. His voice is quiet as he walks past, not bothering to help her up. “I'm sure you're smart enough to figure that out.”

Kiri surges to her feet, following after him. “You were the one who insisted we resonate!”

“And it didn't work,” he calls over his shoulder. Two people walk out into the hallway, see Sylus, and immediately duck back into whatever room they came from. He ignores them, continuing. “We'll have to find another way.”

She stiffens. “If hand-holding was your first method, the next one better not be-”

“Don't flatter yourself. There's only one woman I want, and right now she's filled her head with all sorts of ideas. Stay here.” As she opens her mouth to protest, red mist gathers around her, depositing her neatly into the twins outstretched arms.

“Sylus!” Kiri yells. He's already gone.

⭐

Not every fic gets abandoned because I was procrastinating or didn't feel like finishing it. Sometimes, like this one, it's because I recognized that it would be relatively incomprehensive to most people. In any case, assassin AU (Kit's already an assassin, that's not the AU part) where she accidentally gets MC's memories for some reason.

That's why they're in bold vs hers in italics. As I said, incomprehensive.

She is standing with her hands wrapped around a blade, covered in blood. Not her memories, but somehow they are.

Red mist slams her against a wall, and she coughs, the air forced from her lungs. She fights wildly against the bindings as the man stalks forward. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows that he's bare of any clothing, but survival is forefront.

She has to kill him. Stab him.

Right through the heart.

She is present, and memories that aren't hers drag at her consciousness, forcing her back under, like sirens at sea pulling a sailor down to his doom.

“This is a surprise,” he purrs. That voice is achingly familiar, but she can't afford to dwell on it. It's her or him. “You did well to get this far, kitten.”

“Seven?” The red eyed demon says, unimpressed. “That's not a name. That's a number. I'll call you Kitty. You hiss and spit like one.”

“You can't just ask for someone's name and decide you don't like it!” She snaps back. “I'm not going by that!”

He smirks. “You'll learn to respond to it if you want my help. A thing doesn't need assistance. A person, on the other hand, can beg for it.”

Kit snarls, swinging a leg out. She manages to clip him across the jaw.

He touches the cut left behind, smearing blood, and it fades away like dust.

Horror sinks in her gut like a rock. Bridget was right. She should have never taken this mission.

The red mist tightens around her throat, and she feels tears prick at the corner of her eyes, her head going floaty as she struggles to breathe.

“A waste of your talents,” he says evenly. “If you want to hurt me, you'll have to try harder than that.”

The man steps closer, and Kit seizes her opportunity. She grabs a blade from her boot and slams it through his bare chest.

It wounds her more than it does him, a feedback loop that rips through her mind with a piercing whining scream.

She is holding a blade, and hands wrap around hers. Are they claws? Fingers? She can't be sure. Despair and terror slam through her, leaving her breathless.

“You must press on.” The voice is pained, struggling.

“No,” Kit gasps. She's crying now, she knows it. Something throbs in her chest, like her heart is slamming against the prison bars of her ribcage, trying to get out.

The man - Sylus - scoffs. “What's wrong, cold feet? The little assassin can't stomach killing a man?” He grabs her hand, wrapped around the blade, and forces it in more. “Try harder.”

She recoils, even as spots begin to dance at the edge of her vision. “Sylus, stop!” Kit cries out. “Please, not like this!”

He flinches. “What did you just-”

It's too late, though. She used the last of her air to yell, and everything goes black.

= later in the same fic =

Sylus, on the other hand, is quiet. He meets her gaze dead-on, searching for something in her expression. For what, she doesn't know.

Kit already prepares herself for what's to come, letting herself go numb. Assassins like her do not survive.

“You're not going to tell me anything.” He states. He seems almost…impressed, despite himself. There's an understanding there, like recognizing like in this awful world they occupy.

Kit drains the cup, setting it on the side table next to the bed. She turns to face him. “The only thing I'll give you is that I'm a professional. And if you're any good, you know what that means.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “This will hurt.” Oddly, it feels like a warning.

She braces herself.

A large hand grasps her chin, forcing her to maintain eye contact with him.

“What are you-” his eye glows, cutting her off.

It is the most unpleasant sensation. Like ants crawling through her mind, skittering across her thoughts and scratching at the insides of her ears.

She shrieks and fights him, but his grip is too strong. Every time her nails rake across his wrist, trying to force him away, the scratches heal instantaneously.

It feels like he's forced his fingers inside her skull and cracked it open to examine the blackened insides.

The smell of blood and fire fills her senses, leaving her nose burning from the inside, and she screams, feeling copper spatter on her tongue.

In the awful, bloody end, it's Hector who brings her back.

The sharp memory of him gripping her hair and hissing, “Endure or die.”

Kit brings her knee up and slams Sylus in the jaw, forcing his mouth shut with an awful click, and slots herself back against the very corner of the bed, pressed up against the wall.

He spits blood onto the floor and gazes at her sidelong.

“Come work for me,” Sylus says bluntly. “Ever is a dead man’s game.”

Kit stares at him.

“What?” She whispers hoarsely. “Are you on drugs? I tried to-” her voice gives out, finally petering out to nothingness. She coughs into her hand. There's a smear of red.

Sylus snaps his fingers, and a handkerchief is placed in it. He hands it to her. “I know. That's why I want you. No one else would be crazy enough to try, let alone skilled enough to almost succeed.”

She looks at him suspiciously, and it's almost as if he can read her mind. He snorts.

“I'm not desperate, sweetie. If I wanted you as my bed warmer, we wouldn't be having this conversation. And it would be because you wanted it, not because I forced you.” Sylus stands, stretching, his back popping with the motion. He sighs pleasantly. “You're good at your job, clearly. So do it for me. I'll pay well. We can discuss your contract when you're healed up. For now, rest.”

If she had a voice, she'd snap at him for being so overconfident.

For now, however, she doesn't have a choice. Kit’s out of options. She can't afford to bite this particular hand.

Not yet.

⭐

As usual, thanks for reading! I know this post was a meaty one, but I had a blast writing these and so I thought they were worth the share.

Enjoy your Tuesday!

#my writing #love and deepspace #lnds sylus x oc #love and deepspace sylus #kit for oc tagging #lnds sylus #kiri for oc tagging #tidbit tuesdays

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yuseirra · 2 months ago

Text

Wait... I just checked that post I reblogged a moment ago and I wrote that BEFORE 159. When 158 was the most recent chapter.

Here's a section from it that I've written:

As for Hikaru… I’ve said this about the character before, but I don’t think he wanted to live after Ai died. If he’s been clinging to life, it’s probably because he wanted to do something for Ai. But he’s in a state of utter despair. If you pay attention to his emotions, you can sense something overwhelming and burdensome. And whatever I’m feeling can’t possibly compare to what someone in that situation would feel, right? This must be… really hard. He must not want to live. That’s what I felt. To feel these emotions, I think this character must have had very little actual involvement in Ai’s death. The more involved he was, the more shameless and brazen he’d have become. There’d be a thorny, defensive attitude like, “So what? Sure, I did some things, but they made mistakes too, didn’t they?” You see none of that in his actions. So, I think it’s more likely that he didn’t do anything.

Oh my god. He really didn't do anything.

You have to believe me.. Please...

I see these things...It's just really vivid to me, I really can't help talking about it. I don't exactly know how but I do, so I can't even tell if it's right myself but it happens and I;

I don't need to be, I don't have to be this desperate about a character, he's a fictional figure, I care about him but this guy's still left ambiguous so I'm not even sure he's a fav of mine(pretty close though, I can say Ai IS)...While I think he could become that way, I'm still leaving many possibilities open-

There are things I spot that I can't unsee though, and I don't think it's something many people are seeing, so I really want to get it through, I think that's it.

That aside, Brand New Days is such a beautiful song!! I'm listening to Reload's version for it and it's nice how refreshing it sounds. I'm glad that song exists, it really adds meaning to "the answer"'s whole message of moving forth to a new day even after a loss.

#oshi no ko #oshi no theories #oshi no ko spoilers #spoilers #hikaru kamiki

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neko-naruto · 1 year ago

Text

maybe it's just me (built to snap eventually)

Summary: Technoblade and Dream have a rivalry, and the both of them are sure it's as simple as that, a rivalry- definitely not something that'll lead to an all consuming culmination of hatred and obsession, it couldn't be

Warnings: heavy gore, graphic & poetic character death, awkward conversations, the rivalsduo is meant to be read as a possessive/obsessive thing instead of a romantic thing, injury recovery, swearing, not actually character death, funerals, please read with caution

Authors Note: you know, this was originally an SBI-centric fic in my head, but then I had a lot of fun with the rivalsduo dynamic, so here we are now. I don't even know how we got here, but the end product is really fun. rip awesamdude. @sobredunia i subjected you to some of my mad ramblings, heres the full thing, i'm too tired for the ending to be perfectly formulated. hope ya'll enjoy, and if you do consider dropping a reblog, ao3 port comes out hopefully tomorrow

"Look, Techno," Phil began with as he glanced at his second son. His beloved son, who he cared for dearly despite his rather odd choice of form, "We need to have a talk."

The Piglin hesitantly made eye contact, "Yeah dad?"

"You have the most non-human blood of all my sons, given the fact you can shape-shift. I still don't get why you want to be a pig, but you do you. Really though, a pig?" Phil rambled.

"Dad. The point," Techno said rather sternly.

"Right, yeah, this conversations topic," Phil said cautiously.

"Is this about sex? I know about sex," Techno blurted out before he could stop himself from making an assumption.

"Fuck no, definitely not," He answered with, his wings gave a fluff of discomfort. He cleared his throat, "But, as you may know, immortals grow attached to mortals. Usually picking a specific one without realizing it in the moment, and sometimes we take it upon ourselves to protect them until they die of natural causes."

"That explains Wilbur's obsession with Sapnap," Techno mused with an eye roll.

Phil gives a hum, "No, he just really wants to fuck Sapnap- it's Tommy's situation with Tubbo though."

"Ah," Techno said, a wave of understanding washed over him, "I don't have one of those."

"You do," Phil answered with, "It's not always friendship, or romance, sometimes it's hatred. Immortals grow deeply attached to a mortal to the point of obsession, brutalization even, to make sure we can take care of them or take advantage of them. It's like," He paused, "It's like our tether to mortality, we live mortal lives through their existence. Even if their mortal lives put them so close to death everyday; even if the mortal lives they lead are ones we hate them for; we grow obsessed and can't help it."

"An example," Techno demanded.

"Well," Phil said, "I don't have one of the aggressive type off the top of my head, but I'd say it's similar to your predicament with Dream, no?"

Deep red flared on Techno's face at the accusation, it didn't show much considering the hue of his skin. He cleared his throat roughly and gave a feeble defense, "Is not."

"Is too," Phil countered with.

"I fucking hate him! I want him dead! I would never do anything to protect him, ever," Techno snapped aggressively. And the way he snarled and nearly yelled would scare everyone but Philza, Tommyinnit, and Wilbur Soot. They were just used too it.

"What if I said he was dying right now, what would you do? He's on the floor, bleeding out, what do you do?" Phil asked.

It made Techno pause, he hated the fact it did but he needed to think about a question this grave. He dropped further into his chair, cape awkwardly pooling around him. He opened his mouth to speak but paused, "I'd kill him I'd finish him off myself."

"Why," Phil demands.

"Because blood loss is a terrible way to go," Techno answered with.

"What if someone else was about to finish Dream and you could save him momentarily? Then what?" Phil asked carefully. Each word interlocking to paint a beautiful picture in Techno's head.

"I'd save him, and then I'd kill him," Techno answered with, and he sounds ashamed of his answer even though he can't say someone else gets the honors of killing Dream. He takes a heavy breath, "I save him, kill his attacker, give him a potion, tell him to find me once he's healed, and then I'd kill him."

"Then go," Phil said as he stood up, "You don't have any omnipotence yet, but I do, and I just wanna say that you're about to lose him."

"What? He can handle some fucking bandits," Techno said defensively as Phil started to walk off.

There's a hum, "Yeah, but I doubt he can handle someone like Sam given his new Netherite gear."

Techno stayed silent, a deep knot of confusion settling in his gut. He stays here and lets Sam kill his one true rival, or he goes out there and tries to find said rival before Sam does. He gives an annoyed groan as he flips onto his side, "Sam can kill him."

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me then," Phil answered with, a smirk on his face but Techno can't see it.

The second that Phil is in the kitchen the piglin is on his feet and leaving, he can already feel his tusks jut out a little bit more than usual. Stupid divinity in his genetics, he hates and loves it. But, he'll put that godly wrath to good use, just to make sure he's the one who gets to kill Dream in the end of it all.

An axe is in his hands when he reaches the door, diamond, enchanted, it will tear open someone's skull once again. He doesn't bother to grab any armor, a totem and he's well on his way out the door and into the wilderness.

He really hopes that Sam has a spare life, just to make sure he'll wake up and understand why people don't mess with an immortals mortal.

-/-/-/-

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to track you down?" Sam asked as he took another step into the bloody snow, a deep crimson turning to ice from Dream's previous death.

The man shakes his head as the tip of a sword goes to reach under his chin. He lifts his head with the blade, "How long?" He gives that trademark grin, that undying smile, the thing he's known for most on wanted posters. His hands are resting in the snow behind him, and his jacket is slashed up, no armor, he didn't think he'd need it. How wrong he was.

"Months. I spent fucking months trying to track you down after you got out just so I could have the pleasure," Sam explained in an exasperated tone. He jutted he sword forward and Dream lurched backwards till he was flat on the snow. A paw came to rest on his knee and pressed until it shattered, he bit his tongue and didn't scream, "And you have more fucking lives than you're supposed to. You should be dead right now, unable to return."

Dream laughed, "Naw, that's not how someone like me works. I can't let you of all people kill me," He tries to push himself up to face the centaur, resting on his elbows, "Only one person out there gets the honor, and trust me, he won't be pleased to find you trying to steal it."

"We all want you dead, and you think any of us care who finishes you? They don't," Sam snarled as he leaned in, raising his paw up to Dream's femur and presses until it shatters, a bloody burst as the bones splits roughly, "I'll be fucking praised."

There's an amused hum from Dream at the sudden lurch back on Sam's end, the way his ears swivel around. Snow crunching under feet, fast, closing in on them very fast. And in the instant that Sam is looking back to see who it is, he's being tackled down by a seemingly amorphous wild boar. Tusks sharp as an axe tearing into his hide and cloven hooves (almost paws), the fur is pink, striking red down the back.

"Technoblade," Dream said as he looked at his temporary savior, "He was just bluffing."

The beast whips it's head around to snarl at Dream. The beast-like characteristics are fading, until the red separates into a cape and the horns to a crown. His breathing is labored, eyes still glazed over red, he can form words just barely; "Your life is fucking mine."

Dream would stand up and walk condescending circles around Techno at this point, but considering how ruined his left leg is he can't do so. He shrugs, "I think our friend the prison warden understands that now."

Techno still indulges, killing Sam rather swiftly, tearing out his chest and spreading the ribs. A gut wrenching scream, and a snap of teeth around a heart, he's gone before he can ask why. The boar still feasts, the boar feasts until the human half of the corpse has been thoroughly desecrated, to the point it can barely be called a corpse.

Dream just watches, fully aware of the fact that'll be him one day, when Techno has finally decided to end their game of cat and mouse. Dream quite likes this right now, just watching, mentally preparing himself for the final bell to toll. Readying himself for the day Techno decides that killing someone when they're wounded is viable and far better than letting them heal to fight at full strength.

When he raises from the corpse, so close to just being another guy, but bereft of the simplicity of a human form, he looks at Dream. He licks the blood from the back of his hand before walking over to his rival, his enemy, his beloathed, but he wouldn't dare call him a friend. He crouches down and gently prods at the shattered limb and Dream hisses, "Guess you can't make it back to your place on your own."

"Kill me now, I'm on my last life," Dream answered with, "You want too, don't you?"

"Not when you're pathetic like this," Techno said bluntly as he slid an arm under his rivals knees, black pants still intact but in need of being cut up to tend to the wound. He slides an arm around the shoulders, lowering to his back and picking him up, "I'll patch you up."

Dream feebly pushes against the torso of his rival, "No, fuck you. I have an extra life, let me freeze to death."

"That's a lame way to go," Techno said as he carried Dream, he was cold, worryingly so. Techno catches the clasp of his cape on his task and attempts to swing it over.

"Are you using your cape, as a blanket?" Dream asked, he did reach for the velvety red fabric to curl himself up in it a little bit.

"Like I said, it would suck to freeze to death," Techno said as he clutched his rivals body a little closer, he can hear a zombie groaning below the ground. It's a defensive motion, like hell he's letting Dream get struck down permanently by anything other than his own two hands.

Dream hums, "I've frozen to death before."

"How was that for you?" Techno asked as that purple glow of the portal came into view past the trunk of a tree. He slows a bit, can sudden shift from cold to hot kill a human? Demi-human, because he knows that some part of Dream isn't human just like he isn't.

Dream shrugged, "It was lame, just cold," His raises a hand to touch one of Techno's tusks and the hybrid bites, fangs just barely nipping the edge of Dream's fingernail. Shock is on his face, it's pure shock, usually held behind an arrogant mask. Techno revels in the fact he's one of the few who gets to see Dream with the mask off, even if only for a second, "Dude, dick move."

"I know," Techno said, and he grinned, it made Dream's blood boil.

He crosses his arms like a defiant teen, which, yeah, he never really grew out of the defiant part. He rests his head on the fabric of Techno's shirt, and despite the pain coursing through him he keeps a straight face. He's felt worse, "Fuck you."

Techno gives a singular laugh, "I would never."

"Neither would I," Dream spits back, "I was using hyperbole."

"Shut up before I strangle you into a coma," Techno threatened.

Dream shut up.

-/-/-/-

"Hey dad," Wilbur began with as he walked past Techno and into the kitchen.

"Yeah Wil?" Phil responded with as he pivoted on his heel to face his first son.

"Why is Techno sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling?" Wilbur asked, "His hands are bloody."

Phil shrugged, "He has an 'acquaintance' over and he's worried about how Tommy will react," He gestured around vaguely with his spatula as he spoke.

"Oh my fuck, Techno got a girlfriend?" Wilbur asked excitedly, trying to keep his voice hushed but failing.

"I do not have a girlfriend!" Techno shouted from the living room.

"Trust me, this visitor is not a girlfriend," Phil said with an amused hum, "Far from it."

"Who is it?" Wilbur asked, making a point of getting up in his dads face as he spoke, the Elytrian shifter edged back.

"You'll have to wait and see," Phil said as he pushed away his son with the tip of his spatula, "Go bother Techno about it."

"He'll rip my head off dad," Wilbur said, he snatched away the Elytrian's cooking utensil, "I'll help cook instead."

"An extra set of hands is always welcome in my kitchen," Phil said as he grabbed a spatula for himself.

On the other side of the house Tommy, the youngest of Phil's sons, is kicking off his boots and shaking down his tail of the snow. Striped fur stands on end when he catches the scent of blood, heavy on the air. Before he can even announce he's home he's following that fresh blood smell that burns his nose down the halls to Techno's room.

He doesn't knock, just swings open the door, "Techno are you-"

Words die in his throat as he stares at the man in his brothers bed, it isn't his brother. His heart rate picks up when that cunt in green tilts his head to be greeted with the sight of the blonde. There's a small smile void of malicious intent, but Tommy sees violence in those emerald eyes. He slams the door shut before Dream can even get out a weak 'hi,' his fur is bristled now.

"Technoblade, why the fuck is Dream in your bed?!" Tommy exclaimed as he walked into the living room.

"I don't fucking know!" Techno shot back as he snapped up from his sitting position, "I couldn't just let him freeze to death, that'd be cruel!"

"I thought you hated him!" Tommy practically screamed.

"I do hate him! I promise, but I need to be the one to kill him! And you wouldn't fucking get it!" Techno roared back at the considerably smaller of the two.

"Then why in the name of Philza Minecraft, Foolish Gamers, and so on and so forth! Is he, in your, bedroom?!" Tommy yelled, his throat hurt just a bit, "If you're fucking him I'm going to disown you."

"That's disgusting! I would never fuck someone as low as him," Techno snapped, tone lowering as he spoke. He heaved a long sigh, "He's staying."

"I'm killing him in his sleep," Tommy said venomously.

Techno would be snapping Tommy's neck right about now if they weren't brothers, instead he stands up and walks past Tommy who gives an annoyed sound. He leans in the doorway of the kitchen, "Is dinner ready yet?"

"I take it you don't want to eat dinner with us?" Phil asked as he portioned a couple of diagonally cut sandwiches onto a platter.

"Not if Tommy is being a bitch about Dream staying here," Techno said as kindly as he could, which wasn't kindly at all. He crossed his arms bitterly, "Can I have a plate?"

Phil hands the plate to Wilbur who hands the plate to Techno.

"Thanks," Techno said.

The living room is empty, his bedroom door is propped open. He tries to stay calm as he enters his room to find Tommy above Dream, dagger so close to piercing his heart. A pair of weak hands grasp desperately at the blade to stop it from puncturing his skin.

"Tommy," Techno said coldly, he placed the plate of sandwiches on his desk.

The blonde looked up, "This isn't what it looks like."

"Yes, yes it is what it looks like! Get this thing off of me!" Dream snapped as he attempted to use his one good leg to kick off Tommy. His attempts were feeble, he just wanted to scare off the Procyonidae, not hurt him.

"Dream, shut up," Techno snapped, "Tommy, get out of my room."

"But-" The plead was desperate.

"Now," Techno snarled and the raccoon was skittering out of the room in mere seconds. He heaves a sigh before grabbing the plate of sandwiches and dropping down his bed beside Dream.

Dream reaches for a sandwich and Techno shifts the plate a little closer.

"Think twice before badmouthing any member of my family," Techno said.

Dream nodded, "Got it."

"Sorry that Tommy just, did that," Techno said weakly as he tore a chunk out of his sandwich, cheese stuck to one of his tusks.

"I probably deserved it," Dream answered without any chalantness in his voice as he ate his sandwich.

"If you want to stay here,"

"I don't,"

"You'll have to live with that, and Wilbur, and Phil, and the humans they drag along. You aren't gonna have any control here, you're just here to heal up,"

"I didn't want to be here at all,"

"I know, but I couldn't let you freeze to death, it's so fucking lame,"

Dream gives a small sigh, "Thanks anyways."

"You're welcome," Techno said and it hurt to say it to Dream, "On account of the fact that you're sleeping in my bed-"

Dream quirked a brow and smirked at the words.

"Not sexually," Techno quickly defended with, "Fuck, you have a dirty mind."

"That I do," Dream said with a small laugh, "Please continue."

"I'm sleeping on the couch now, so if you need me, just roll out of bed and drag yourself across the floors and wake me up," Techno said.

"How hospitable," Dream said with a roll of the eyes, "I'll keep that in mind."

Techno grabs another triangle of cheese and bread, "Yeah, yeah, get some sleep."

Dream gives a sickly sweet expression, "Good night, Techno," His voice was sugar sweet and it made the piglin gag, that made Dream laugh.

"Watch your fucking mouth bud," Techno snarled out, "I'm not above killing you in your sleep."

-/-/-/-

Dreams legs are shaking, and he's holding onto Techno's hand like a vice as he tries to take steps. Everything still hurts so much, and his bones aren't quite set, but he needs to try. He's already overstayed his welcome and he needs to heal up and learn how to walk again.

"Hey, dude, you can just lay down again," Techno offered quietly as he led Dream to the kitchen, "I'll bring you some leftovers."

He shook his head, "You said that Phil, Wilbur, and Tommy were bringing over their mortals, I want to be at the dinner table."

"Uh huh, and whys that?" Techno asked, tilting Dream off balance just a bit. It garnered a heavy glare that made the Piglin grin.

"I'm your mortal according to Phil, so I want to be there," Dream explained as he took yet another shaky step. At least it wasn't bleeding anymore, the gauze holding his leg in one piece.

Techno nearly laughed, "You're definitely not my mortal, I just want to be the one who kills you," He knocks his tusk gently against the side of Dream's head, "Is it not fair for me to make sure you're at your best when I do?"

"It's kinda gay, that's what it is," Dream accused rather boldly, "But really, it's just like what Phil was telling me about. You act like you own my mortality, more so than usual," He pauses, "I appreciate all the help getting back to my best again but people don't just do that."

Techno paused, "I'm built different."

And Dream just laughs, "Yeah you fucking are, you're built like a brick house and a pig for fucks sake! I'm lucky to have an enemy like you."

"I'd say the term 'rival' works better," Techno corrected as he rolled his eyes and led Dream into the kitchen.

Tommy glances up and instead of doing anything he just leans further into Tubbo. His breathing picks up.

"Dream! Glad to see you're joining us for dinner," Phil said with a grin.

"Can't stay in Techno's room the whole time I'm here, it'd be rude," Dream said, almost nervously, but not quite.

"I trust everyone here knows each other?" Phil asked as he glanced over the table.

Dream sat down next to Phil, Techno sat down next to Dream, acting as a comfortable barrier between Tommy and Dream. Schlatt leaned over the table a bit, to get a good look at the man Dream had become. He's softer now, just as gnarled with scars but physically, he's softer, less malnourished.

"Not personally," Schlatt said, "But we all know Dream."

Quackity gives a hum of agreement, "We know him very well, I guess having bad taste in men runs in the family."

Both Phil and Techno glare at Quackity.

"I'm just being honest," Quackity mused.

"Firstly, fuck off," Techno said, "Secondly, I hate this man," He gestured to said man who was sitting beside him, "Thirdly, Wilbur has dogshit taste in men and you're proof of it, lastly Tommy is, he's Tommy."

"I love debates," Tubbo said, butting into the conversation with ease, "But can we not kill each other over this little dinner?"

"Sounds fine," Quackity said as he glared at Techno, "Peachy keen."

Techno lounged back further into his chair and grabbed his plate, "I'm going to my room."

Dream gave an offended gasp, "You're gonna leave me out here to die?"

"No I'm not," Techno said before roughly hoisting up dream and slinging him onto his shoulders.

Wilbur gives a hum, "Don't be too loud, might ruin our appetites."

The glare Techno shoots at Wilbur is sharp enough to cut through steel. Wilbur just smiles.

"You're gross," Techno said.

"And hot," Wilbur answered with, "One of those two things, you aren't."

"I am this fucking close to throwing Dream at you, he will claw your eyes out," Techno threatened, holding his fingers mere millimeters apart.

"I'll have to agree with Wilbur," Quackity said smugly.

Techno places his plate down on the table and gently lifts Dream from his shoulders.

"Hey now, let's be rational, we're all adults here," Dream said rather nervously as Techno shifted how he was held.

"Yeah, and what's a couple more months with you healing up," Techno said, and despite phrasing it as a question it was a statement.

"And that's enough! From the both of you," Phil demanded as he stood up, voice cold and stern in such a way it made his children freeze. He glared at each of them, "None of you are going to your room, I plan full well on having dinner with my family present for the first time in over a month."

"Since Dream got here," Tommy muttered.

"What was that Tommy?" Phil growled out.

"He takes up all of Techno's time! They have to be doing something right under our noses," Tommy accused.

"I would never!" Techno snapped back, "I hate him."

"Then how come you're taking care of him?" Wilbur asked before Tommy could.

"Because," Techno faltered, "Because I, he-"

"He owes me one," Dream quickly stepped in with, "I saved his life and he's doing the same."

Phil knows that Dream is lying, omnipotence will do that to you. He doesn't say anything about it though.

"He doesn't have to do so in the house I live in," Tommy answered with, extremely exasperated at that.

"Tommy, Dream is a guest in our household and I expect you to at least try and respect him," Phil said, "I don't like it either, but he's Techno's mortal, we're respecting that."

"He fucking isn't!" Techno said desperately.

"Kid," Schlatt began, "Look at yourself, you're fucking obsessed with that green guy- he's your mortal, and you're his immortal, whether you like it or not."

"He's not my fucking immortal," Dream spat venomously.

"That's what I said when Phil started fawning over my existence, making sure I didn't get hurt and shit," Schlatt said as he stood up, "Porch?"

"Porch," Dream answered with as the rest of the family argued over the table.

-/-/-/-

"Look, I'm not an expert on this shit," Schlatt said, "But I sure as hell have experience."

"Then start talking," Techno demanded.

"Watch your tone, I could have smited for that," Schlatt said as he pointed to Techno with his cigar.

Dream scoffed, "Sure."

"When you sleep with someones dad anything can happen," Schlatt said with a casual shrug.

"I'll be up questioning my life decisions tonight," Techno said, "Forget late night training."

"Do you want my advice or not?" Schlatt asked coldly.

They both nodded.

"You, green," Schlatt started with, "Deal with it, Techno is gonna be making sure you don't die for a very long time. Even if you do die, I wouldn't put him past trying to bring you back if he didn't get the honors. No one will so much as lay a hand on you if they find out that you 'belong' to Techno."

"But I hate him," Dream said as the Piglin unloaded him onto a lawn chair.

"For now. You hate him for. I hated Phil and here I am, fucking him," Schlatt said with a bit of a laugh, "I guess some of me still hates him, and I'm not trying to say you two will end up fucking, but you belong to each other now."

"Like some fucked up and lazy soulmate trope?" Techno asked.

"Exactly like that," Schlatt answered with, "You're a fast learner."

"Thanks, I've been told I get it from my dad," Techno said stiffly.

"Where was I? Right, Piglin," Schlatt said, "Dream belongs to you, you can defy it, distance yourself from him, try to forget him- but if you catch wind of anyone trying to hurt him you're gonna end up fucking them up. Like what you did to Sam. Tommy would do the same for Tubbo, but that's because he cares about Tubbo as a friend, not because Tommy wants to be the one to kill Tubbo."

Techno nodded.

"You want to kill Dream when he's at his full power, you'll do anything you can to make sure you can fulfill that. Your obsession turned into a necessity somewhere along the line, sure, if you fail to kill him permanently, you'll move on. But there will be a very long mourning period of something you failed to do," Schlatt tried to explain.

"So, basically, I have a divine being here to protect me, so he can kill me?" Dream asked, "Cause that is, it's kind of stupid and hard to wrap my head around."

"How do you think I feel?" Techno asked, "We were supposed to be killing each other, dying of blood loss in a heap on the ground, buried in the same coffin."

"See? That's the whole 'immortals have a mortal' thing kicking in," Schlatt said.

"I've always thought of Dream like that," Techno said.

"And that's always how I've thought of Techno, we're supposed to die together, he kills me, I kill him," Dream defended.

"That won't happen," Schlatt said, "Techno is immortal."

"Then I'll find a way to kill him," Dream said, "I have too."

Schlatt's eyes widened a bit, "Okay, this is clearly a lot more in depth and messy than whatever Phil thinks it is that you too have going on."

Techno hoisted up Dream, "That was useless advice then."

Before Schlatt could say anything else Techno ferried Dream throughout the house, his family was still arguing. He dropped Dream down onto the bed, then he laid down on the ground.

"Don't you sleep on the couch?" Dream asked.

"They're screaming at each other, I do not want to be out there," Techno said.

Dream took a tentative breath, "You don't have to sleep on the floor."

"I'm not fucking you," Techno said.

"I'm not asking you to fuck me," Dream said, "That would sound a lot more like 'we should have sex to piss them off' instead of what I said."

Techno sat up and pulled himself onto his bed, tossing aside his cape and gently placing down his crown. He laid down on his back, Dream rested on his side facing away, towards the window.

"Don't make this gay," Techno said before Dream could even bother to say anything.

Instead he rolled over until his head was resting top of the Piglins chest, "Okay."

"This is pretty fucking gay," Techno said carefully. Maybe he enjoyed having someone lying down on top of him, it's a nice pressure, like a weight blanket shaped like a human.

"Don't care, go to sleep," Dream said, "I'll be gone in the morning."

-/-/-/-

Dream wasn't lying when he said he'd be gone in the morning.

When Techno woke up he was alone in bed, and when he opened the top drawer of his dresser one of his shirts was gone along with a gem out of his crown. Dream's mask was there, the physical one, the cracked and bloodstained porcelain left behind on top of Techno's desk. He lifted it up and out fell a small note.

I really hope that you do end up killing me, and I want to kill you too, ask Phil to bury us together, that would be nice. I want to rot with you, I want to die with you, it'd be a lot harder to say this in person, so I wrote it, and left. Like a pussy. Because sometimes you gotta be a bit of a pussy, if you ever want to find me you should be able to use the pantleg you cut off to scent track me

When you decide that it's time, make sure it's somewhere they'll find our bodies

I would say yours truly, but if you're so concerned about it being gay, I won't

There goes Techno's concerns of Tommy scaring off Dream. He places the letter down gently and clasps his cape around his neck, velvety fabric flowing comfortably. He rests his crown atop his head, now he has even more reason to kill Dream, he stole one of the crown jewels.

He finds Tommy sitting on the couch and he looks guilt ridden. He glances up to see Techno, alone, without Dream. A little bit of worry worms it's way into Tommy's stomach, did he fuck it up that badly? He really hopes he didn't, "Where's Dream?"

"Gone," Techno answered with, "You didn't cause it."

His nerves ease just a bit, "Sorry," He doesn't mean it, Techno chooses to believe he does.

"Don't worry about it," Techno said, "Just do me a favor."

"What is it?" Tommy asked.

"Make sure that me and Dream go down in the same coffin when we die," Techno said before pushing his way into the kitchen where he found Wilbur biting through an apple at a worrying pace.

Techno grabs a cooked strip of beef and tears into it as he leans against the counter.

"I'm engaged to Quackity," Wilbur said quietly, "It happened last night, when you weren't in the room."

Techno nearly chokes on his food, "Really?"

Wilbur nodded, "Yeah, really, I was waiting until we could all be together to get down on one knee. It's a big deal."

"Sorry," Techno said quietly.

"Is Dream still asleep?" Wilbur asked.

Techno shook his head, "Dream left."

"He could barely walk," Wilbur said, "Where are you going?"

Techno shrugged, "On a walk, don't know if I'll be back."

"I'll tell Phil," Wilbur said.

"you know he's a bit omnipotent, he already knows," Techno said bluntly before starting on his way off.

The morning air is cold on his face, he doesn't care about that though. Not when he has a brand new search to begin anyways, it's been forever since he's had a chance to hunt someone like Dream. The difference is that this time he's actually going to kill what he finds, and he hopes that they both go down in flames by the end of it all.

-/-/-/-

Dream is holding a dagger in his hands when Techno finds him, it's enchanted, a deep purple hue that keeps flashing this sickly green. He stuffs it in his pocket and flops onto his back, the Piglin joins him on the ground.

"You know what I've been thinking about lately?" Dream asked.

"Enlighten me," Techno answered with.

"What you said when Schlatt took us aside to try and explain the 'immortals having a mortal' thing," Dream answered with, "How we've both always thought of rotting together."

Techno gives a hum, "Doesn't everyone think that way about their true rival?"

"I don't think so, Techno," Dream said with a laugh, "It's been months since we last met, I talked with my acquaintances who have rivals, they don't think like that of their rivals. They just want their rivals to die so they can come out on top, they don't want to die with them, they'd kill their rivals in their sleep, Techno."

"Oh," Techno said quietly.

"What we have isn't normal for rivals," Dream said, "It's so fucking stupid, we hate each other, we need each other, and then, we'll kill each other."

"We're supposed to do that," Techno said.

Dream shook his head, "One of us is supposed to come out on top, we aren't both supposed to end up in the dirt."

Techno sat up, "We've dreamed of rotting together since we first met. Dream, we've wanted to slit each others throats for as long as I can remember, so fucking what if it's not normal?"

"It's pretty fucking gay," Dream said as he sat up.

"To die together? For me to rot in your arms and you in mine? That's just fucking destiny, how is that pretty fucking gay if we don't have control?" Techno questioned, "I'm dying of blood loss, and you're going down with me, understood?"

There's this odd stinging at the corner of his eyes, he classifies it as crying even though he shouldn't be. They're talking about how they're meant to die together, to be buried together, because that's their twisted rendition of this song and dance immortals do. He nods, "Yeah," He pulls out the dagger, "I found an enchantment to make sure you'll die with me."

Techno bumps the side of a tusk against Dream's head, "Thank you," He's not quite sure why he's saying thanks over a promised death, but he is.

Dream heaves a sigh, "I suppose this is it then."

"I don't want this to be it," Techno said, "I want to keep living so going down with you will be even better."

"I made stew last night," Dream offered awkwardly, "Beef, lamb, potatoes."

"No pork?" Techno asked.

"I can't eat pork even if I wanted to," Dream said, "It feels, wrong."

"Could I have a bowl?" Techno asked.

Dream gestured to the campfire behind him, "It's boiling away in the pot, help yourself."

The answer is a quiet, "Thanks."

"I don't want to kill you tomorrow," Dream said rather absently.

"Neither do I," Techno answered with.

"Then when?" Dream asked.

Techno didn't know, "I guess we'll just know when it's time."

Dream nodded, "Yeah, yeah that sounds good to me."

-/-/-/-

There's this gravitational pull when it's finally time to close the circuit, the both of them swirling to the same point like they've been caught in a hurricane. Drawn to the center point where everything coalces and becomes one, rage, blood, hatred, bones, screaming, crying- they both know why they're gridlock.

Blade of an axe pressed to the edge of Dream's sword, bright blue diamond edges clashing and shards splitting off. It blends with the sand below them, glassy, glimmering, red spills into it and darkens it in splotches. Technoblade's blood isn't red, Technoblade's blood is maroon and it shines like oil, it's not mortal.

A heady exclamation as they lurch back from each other once again, breathing labored. A dagger is raised, the one and only, the blade that will seal their fates, the blade that will spell out the ending of their tales as one. Two creatures so different brought to the same point all over again, they both started with the same weapon, and now they'll both end with the same weapon.

Technoblade loses his form, axe in one hand as he lunges at Dream, the humanity of his form fading until he's naught but a beast. A wild animal, eyes glazed over in red, crown turned to horns built to rend flesh like his tusks. And Dream just grins even wider, this is it, this is time.

He is finished. His god is finished. His god will finish him. He will finish his god. They will end it all. They will fade in each others arms. They will be go rancid in the desert heat. Their bones will twine till archeologists don't know what they are. They will end everything. His god will feast on his flesh in their last moments. He will drink his gods blood until he sees the light of reincarnation.

A tusk tears into his stomach and tears up behind his sternum, he screams and it sounds like a laugh despite how guttural and agonized it is. The hand with the dagger is pressed flush in Technoblade's throat, the enchantment shooting through the immortals blood, destroying divinity. Allowing him to die with Dream like they're supposed too, like they've been meant to do since before they were born, even in the afterlife they'll kill each other.

They'll kill each other in every world because who else is bold enough to kill either of them? Who else is smart enough to figure out the enchantment to kill a god?

Who else is meant for Technoblade the way Dream is and that in itself begs the question of who else is meant for Dream the way Technoblade is.

There's a laugh as the enchantment winds through Technoblades veins, destroying him as he destroyed Dream. The tusk is unmoving in Dreams chest as he laughs with Technoblade, even as fangs bite into his flesh. He is meat. He is flesh. He is sustenance. Technoblade is a predator. Technoblade is a devourer. And he will die of food poisoning because nothing else can kill him.

A hand, slowly losing strength because Dream drank his potions like a good boy, raises up to clutch at Technoblades shoulder. Blunt nails tear into the fabric as he laughs. It's a wet sound. He sounds like death. And he supposes that killing a god could make him death. He takes a breath, deep despite all of the red in his lungs, and he speaks.

"This is how it was meant to be," The words come out on a whisper, spoken with reverence because this is how it's supposed to be. Technoblade kills him. He kills Technoblade.

And the god gives a deep hum, a reverberating sound that shakes into Dreams bones. His immortality is being stripped from his blood, the oily sheen, glistening a rainbow of colors in the most unnatural way, is gone. He can feel himself fading and he's glad that it's Dream who did it. A hand, rough, desperate, hungry, clutches at the small of the mortals back and clutches him so very close. Snout burrowing around inside of Dream's chest, everything he has to offer in this destined death until Technoblade is choking in it all.

Strangled in greed or strangled with gifts he can't tell the difference, all he knows is that the taste of Dream's blood is perfect. The way bloody hands tangle into pink hair so long and left unbraided. Head mashed into his shoulder and breathing a susurration against his ear, it's hedonism with how much he keeps taking even though they're both to die in moments.

"I love you,"

Neither of them know who said it, they both know those aren't the right words with how sick this fulfillment of their existence is. The engulfing and ever consuming flame of obsession ate them both. The difference is that Dream's god is still eating him even as he fades and slumps further into the warm body just barely holding on.

And when it's finally over, they lay in the sand. They go rancid in the heat. They rot in the heat. Limbs entangled and weapons caught in each others flesh even as their corpses release everything else. They fade from reality together as they were meant too. Neither of them know. Neither of them see. They are gone.

Phil is the only one who knows they rotted out there for a week when someone finds their corpses being picked at by the vultures. Phil is the only one who knows what went down with the curse of his omnipotence. And even as he hates having to bury his own son, he knows in the back of his mind this was inevitable. Dream was his sons mortal. His on was Dreams immortal. It was bound to spiral, it was bound to end in bloody promises.

-/-/-/-

"How does it feel Phil?" Schlatt asked as Phil sat down beside him.

"How does what feel?" Phil shot back with weakly.

"Attending your kids funeral," Schlatt said.

"Terrible, you're staying at my place tonight," Phil answered with, "For emotional support."

"Figured as much," Schlatt sighed.

Wilbur is the final person at the casket with the rotting bodies, Quackity stands beside him. They both place a flower on the rotting flesh.

"This sucks ass," Wilbur choked out quietly.

Quackity nodded, "Definitely."

"There goes Techno, my favorite brother," Wilbur said, "What am I gonna do now?"

"You have me," Quackity supplied gently.

"I know I do, but it's not the same," Wilbur said, "It's just, not the same."

Tommy is crying, head buried in his hands as the smell of rotting flesh makes his stomach turn. He hates it. He feels like he's going to vomit even with a hand rubbing gentle circles on his back.

"Hey, dude," Tubbo said gently, "It's gonna be fine."

"It would be fine if he didn't make me bury him with Dream," Tommy practically sobbed into his hands, "That cunt broke me, and Techno gave him the honors to be buried together."

Tubbo just pulled his friend into a hug, silently.

"I'm gonna do it though," Tommy said weakly, "Because that's what he wanted."

-/-/-/-

Techno revives with Dream in his arms and while it isn't unwelcome it is unexpected. They did die like this, it makes sense they'd revive like this. He recognizes the room as his own and Dream is still asleep, locked firmly under one of Techno's arms.

They weren't supposed to revive, that was supposed to be it. He's never lost a life, he must've had extras. So much for that whole event happening. It was for absolutely nothing aside from feeling a little bit less weighted about the odd form of rivalry he holds with Dream.

Said man is starting to wake up, shuffling just a bit. He goes ramrod straight in mere moments before sitting up, "We should be dead."

Techno gives a hum, "Oh well."

"What a fucking waste!"

"Dude! Keep it down, Phil isn't a heavy sleeper,"

Dream dropped down onto Techno's chest again, "This is bullshit, it took me so long to find that dagger, and get the resources to actually kill you."

"We could do it again," Techno offered.

"That's not," Dream began, then he stopped himself. Right, they already aren't conventional rivals. They're already breaking the fundamental rules of rivalry, "Yeah, sure, we'll go on some grand adventures to find ourselves and end up in each others arms all over again."

"Don't make it gay," Techno said quietly.

"It already is gay," Dream said.

"Again, not gay if we have no say in how shit happens," Techno said, "Besides, I still hate you deeply."

"And so do I, fuck, we were supposed to stay dead," Dream gave an exasperated sigh, "It would tie off all those loose ends."

"Life isn't simple," Techno said as he shrugged off Dream and moved towards his desk. Everything ached from the brutality of his death, he picks up the mask, "You left this here."

Dream gives a hum, catching it when it's tossed over, "Thanks."

"How long do you think we were dead for?" Techno asked.

"A month, maybe two," Dream answered with, "Wanna go give Phil a heart attack?"

"Oh, absolutely," Techno said as he tugged Dream off the bed.

#rivals duo #dsmp #dream smp #dsmp fanfic #technoblade #dreamwastaken #philza minecraft #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #schlatt n phil are also gay dilfs but its background #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #tw gore #tw character death #tw body horror #tw cannibalism

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saintarmand · 9 months ago

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multiple popular blogs in the iwtv fandom have a documented pattern of behavior of saying anything ranging from "could be interpreted as a bit racist but only if you're looking for it" to now literally "the real racism is actually against white people" and other alt right talking points. LOOK AT THE PATTERN.

you see the same people constantly complaining about how they keep getting called racist by black fans over and over again, and instead of asking yourself "why do so many black fans think these people are racist? could they be onto something?" you zero in on how polite they are about it and go "well, they put some naughty words after the word racist, looks like there really is a woke mob of big bad black bullies terrorizing the fandom, sounds legit!"

the thing is, something like about a year ago, i actually posted an absolute garbage take i can't believe i ever thought was acceptable, and got rightfully called out for it. i had some other white people agreeing with me, but THANK GOD someone i followed reblogged a post talking some sense. i freaked out at first of course. "someone is vagueing about me? that's not exactly what i said verbatim. i'm being misinterpreted unfairly! what if everyone finds out and starts hating me?" i got defensive, though i avoided throwing the classic huge public tantrum by simply logging off until i cooled down a little, so i managed not to draw that much attention. it's probably only because it was people that i already thought seemed really smart who were saying it, that made the voice at the back of my mind go, "what if they're right and i'm wrong?" so i really thought about it. at first i thought it was just my phrasing that was bad and if i explained it better it would be fine. but now that i've had over a year to think about it and listen and learn, i've come to realize just how stupid that was. and it's probably not the only dumb racist post i made, just the one that i saw called out. i've since deleted the whole blog so i can't check. which i admit i did in large part so other people couldn't check anymore either.

and what were the only consequences i faced? there are users that i think are really cool, and even some i was following, who have me blocked. i go :( about it for a second when i can't reblog a post. iirc like 3 anon asks i've gotten in total, only one of which was even mean at all. oh the horror, someone called me a racist bitch. i literally WAS. and even if i wasn't, so what? it made me feel a little bad, yeah. it would probably actually feel LESS bad if i thought it didn't apply. it would just be confusing and a little funny. it did apply, and it probably still does, i got a lot of shit to unlearn. in my book, me feeling bad is absolutely worth it if it brought whoever sent it even a smidgen of satisfaction. them having to witness my bullshit was undoubtedly worse.

the only reason i'm able to be as polite as i am is because as a white person this does not affect me personally. this fandom has been racist since before the show even started. if i saw popular blogs in my fandom being, say, lesbophobic for more than two years, constantly, and getting away with it, still being popular, receiving praise, and every time i said anything about it i had their followers come after me, while consoling them, i'd be pretty fucking pissed. i'd get tired of being nice so fast. and that's not even mentioning the trauma from a lifetime of racism in real life and online that black people have to deal with. i can't even imagine.

"racist" is not a goddamn slur. anyone who tries to tell you that it is has an agenda, and it's not that hard to figure out what that agenda is.

OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AROUND YOU. really look. and when you see it, STAND UP AND SAY SOMETHING. i'm ashamed it's taken me this long to do that.

#iwtv #amc iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #see im tagging literally everything just like you nalyra #did you unblock me yet so i can say it to your face like you want me to?#go to /tagged/s on my blog to see the receipts i posted earlier. tip of the iceberg and doesn't even touch most of the people involved #s #<- see that right there go on my blog and click on the s #i gotta post this quickly cause what usually happens is overanalyze every word i wrote decide it sucks and never end up posting #so this just an “unhinged rant” or whatever you wanna call it #iwtv fandom racism #interview with the vampire #vampterview #vampyyrit

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generouskittentidalwave · 2 years ago

Note

Thank you for your response. I was asking because I read a few other translations of the odyssey that weren't in english and all of them said that odysseus grabbed her by her throat which makes me think it's not a translation error. One has to remember that he is not perfect and is often a faulty character - and at least sometimes what people nowadays would consider not morally good although it was different in those days - so I personally don't think that action was that much out of his character. I still love him so this is not me dissing him but yeah (Sorry I didn't reblog it and reply that way but my blog actually has nothing to do with literature so)

Np anon! And I definitely see your point! For reassurance I wasn't saying it to justify his actions in anyway, rather a reason why I gave the idea that it might be a simple translation error is because it seems to come out randomly out of nowhere, and although Odysseus can be hotheaded at times, this part particularly seemed to come out of nowhere for what it sounds like for a people. However it's just an educated guess, I could very much be wrong.

You are correct about Odysseus's character. When he made it to Ithaca, he felt like he couldn't trust anyone anymore, and most of his maids ended up betraying him. That, combined with his ptsd and trauma from all he has experienced, can lead to emotional outbursts of aggression as a means of personal defense out of fear and mistrust led by trauma and pain. This by no means makes what he did right or good, but it shows just how flawed and emotionally vulnerable he can be as a character.

I am going to reinstate what I said in my latest post about his character, and it is something that I say often. Odysseus isn't perfect. And he should never be made out to be perfect the same way he shouldn't be made out to be a monster. As I said in my latest post, and quote, Odysseus has made mistakes, and wasn't perfect, he wasn't purely bad or purely good, he did good things and would show empathy and care for those around him, and sometimes he would treat others badly due to letting his emotions get the best of him or letting their actions get the better of him. He is simply just a man trying his best and trying to get home to his wife and son. And over his journey he grows, learns, and matures out of his hubris mindset with the cost of gaining a lot of emotional trauma which then opens up new problems for him. He isn't completely good, but he isn't completely bad either. He is simply human. Made of both good traits and bad flaws and everything in between. That's why he is one of my favorite characters.

Also don't apologize! I always love and appreciate getting asks by others! It's great people able to discuss and answer people's questions! :D

#odysseus #the odyssey #homer's odyssey #the iliad #homer's iliad #greek mythology #greek heroes #ancient greek mythology #greek stories #greek posts #greek stuff #epic the musical #epic: the musical

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rjalker · 2 years ago

Text

no, actually you are not allowed to hide my fucking reblog telling you you're being a bigot. I'm not letting you people pretend you don't know you're being bigots.

Murdernot said:

One thing I love about Murderbot is that it is such a delightfully complex character that it can be so relatable to so many different people.

Like, I recently recommended the series to two friends who are very different. One I think will like it because of the aro/ace/agender-ness and the more existential "what defines a person" aspects of it. The other I think will like it for the exploration of trauma and the horrors of capitalism and the sense of humor.

Like any good story, it has some very specific things that only some people might relate to, but also some more general, more universal aspects, and we all like it for some combination of it.

And I think even more so since Murderbot is such an unreliable narrator when it comes to its own internal experience. We have to read between the lines to see how it really feels, and everyone reads between the lines slightly differently based on our own experiences and viewpoints.

And like, because Murderbot is on a character journey where it is discovering itself, we all interpret the steps on the journey differently. Like, a lot of it is Murderbot figuring out its boundaries. There are some parts where it pushes out of its comfort zone and widens its boundaries (being out of armor/being observed, which doesn't seem to bother it nearly as much in later books), and other parts where it asserts its boundaries (like with hugs). Both of those things are important for its character growth.

And someone who is trying to assert their own boundaries might latch onto the importance of Murderbot doing the same and enjoy discussions/fanart/fanfic of people respecting those boundaries. But someone who is trying to break out of a defensive, potentially maladaptive comfort zone might really appreciate the way that Murderbot becomes more comfortable with certain things over time and might enjoy discussions/fanart/fanfiction of it learning to enjoy some things it has expressed reflexive distaste for. Both are wonderful ways of interacting with the work.

The important thing for me is that Murderbot is a (beautifully written and complex) fictional character who means different things to different people. We all connect to Murderbot slightly differently and I think that's beautiful.

My response! Because you people do not get to fucking pretend you care about aroace and touch averse people and then silence us at every turn!

The problem is there are hundreds of stories where characters are touch averse and learn to enjoy being touched because they secretly enjoy it and didn't want to admit it to themselves.

Aside from The Murderbot Diaries, there are zero stories of characters who are touch averse and do not feel any desire for touch, and actually have these boundaries respected.

I don't think people who are not solitaremit understand how absurdly ludicrously rare it is that Murderbot has its boundaries with touch respected with this series.

It is in fact ableism for people to look at this character who is touch averse and has no desire for touch, whose boundaries are always respected, and to then insist that that has to change. That it has to open up and remove its boundaries and admit it secretly enjoys being touched.

We aren't talking about vague "Be more comfortable with yourself" things here. We are talking about touch aversion. We are talking about aroace.

Do I need to explain why erasing the fact that a character is aroace and repulsed by relationships is bigoted? Do I need to explain why erasing a character who's solitaremit and has that respected is bigoted?

Apparently I do, since everyone in this fandom keeps insisting on watering these issues down into just "differences in interpretation" and "learning to be more comfortable"

Would you be okay with people writing about Murderbot learning to accept and be normal about eye contact?

Do I have to explain that being touch averse is something adults try to beat out of autistic kids?

If the issues at hand here were anything but aroaceness and touch aversion, if they were more "serious" things being erased, like being gay or if people were removing all of Murderbot's other autistic traits, would you still say they're just a minor, beautiful different in opinion?

Aroace people who are repulsed by all forms of relationships have no representation. We are demonized even in our own communities, let alone the rest of society.

Solitaremit people aren't even given shelter in the rest of the touch averse community.

Erasing the fact that Murderbot is aroace and repulsed by relationships of all kinds is bigotry. Erasing the fact that Murderbot does not enjoy touch or have any desire for it is bigotry.

Listen to aroace people when we tell you something is bigoted. Listen to touch averse people when we tell you something is bigoted.

Just because it doesn't impact you personally does not mean it's not a problem and that people literally opppressed by it should just be fine with it and let everyone continue to erase our very existance.

These books are actually doing everything right in respecting aroace people and solitaremit people.

Why is it too much to expect the fandom, who claims to love this character, to do the same?

Do you actually care about people when their experiences are not the same as yours, or do you just see our existence as internet discourse that begins and ends on tumblr.com?

If you actually give a shit about aroace people and touch averse people, then stop making posts like this that coddle those who erase us. Actually pick a side instead of trying to play the middle.

This is literal real bigotry we are talking about here. You cannot create representation by taking it away from other people.

The whole main theme of this series is that you need to respect people even when they're different from you. Why is that so hard for people who claim to love this series to accept?

Why is it okay to erase people's sexualities when it's about aroace people?

Why is it okay to overstep and overwrite people's boundaries when it's about touch averse people?

Stop fucking pretending you care about nonpartnering aroace people and solitaremit touch averse people when you fucking hide our reblogs on your post. Either fucking actually support us and stand up against bigotry or stop pretending you care.

A character that is explicitly aroace and sex repulsed, touch repulsed, platonic repulsed, and nonpartnering and is nonbinary and uses it/its pronouns and touch averse and has no desire for touch at all is not a blank slate for you to erase. Murderbot represents real living breathing people. When you erase everything that makes Murderbot who it is, you are being a bigot to the real people it represents.

[Plain text: "A character that is explicitly aroace and sex repulsed, touch repulsed, platonic repulsed, and nonpartnering and is nonbinary and uses it/its pronouns and touch averse and has no desire for touch at all is not a blank slate for you to erase. Murderbot represents real living breathing people. When you erase everything that makes Murderbot who it is, you are being a bigot to the real people it represents.". End Plain text.]

#Murderbot #The Murderbot Diaries #TMBD #SecUnit #TMBD fandom athiktomisia #TMBD fandom aroacemisia #TMBD fandom exorsexism #TMBD fandom ableism #exorsexism #athiktomisia #ableism #aroacemisia #long post #Murderbot fandom bigotry #you fuckers do not get to sweep this under the rug.#you fuckers do not get to plug your ears and pretend no one's criticizing you

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deliciouspeachpirate · 2 years ago

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I posted 1,194 times in 2022

12 posts created (1%)

1,182 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@carryingthebanner

@mysandwichranaway

@cold-butter-warm-toast

@hotcocoandmarshmallows

@shippingcannons

I tagged 554 of my posts in 2022

#newsies - 144 posts

#jack kelly - 52 posts

#newsies shitpost - 38 posts

#davey jacobs - 34 posts

#percy jackson - 26 posts

#lord of the rings - 22 posts

#important - 22 posts

#newsies fanart - 21 posts

#fansies - 21 posts

#tumblr culture - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i’m currently in a room with 11 other people who are presumably asleep and will be for another hour and a half so i can’t listen to it now

My Top Posts in 2022:

This is a tumblr hug, or a tumblr high five, or a tumblr sitting in the same room together, pass it on to your ten favorite followers or mutuals <3

AYYYYYY THANK YOU BESTIE! Right back at you! I saw your other ask too, you're so sweet <3

1 note - Posted August 10, 2022

crash

2 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Ok now I'm curious to see which newsie you associate ME with

Okay so I went to look through your blog and the very first thing I saw screaming lady and cat meme and so my brain instantly said Race but then then the very first couple posts were about how nice it is when someone's open about how much they care about you and giving someone the bigger or better part of something you're sharing because you love them and so I'm gonna say you're Jojo.

I've always seen him as a bit of a jokester and always trying to make people laugh, but he's also the sweetest guy ever and one of the first people to know if someone is having a bad day. Basically, I think you're really cool!

2 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

for the newsies association, either kath or finch!

Ooooo interesting! I am very honored that I remind you of our queen, her majesty Katherine Pulitzer Plumber! And Finch is cool too, I never would have thought about that! We stan our bird man

2 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sprace Royal Wedding AU (Let me know if anyone has an idea for a good title!)

@gendistic42 Here is your fic for @newsiesgiftexchange! I absolutely LOVED your prompt! This was my first time writing an au, so I hope you like it. It's also important to note that this fic isn't finished yet because it is going to become my first ever series! Updates will probably be sporadic, but shall be made with love so hopefully that counts lol I'm so glad I got to be a part of this! Without further ado, here is the first part of *Inset Title Here That I Will Come Up With Later!* I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Spot was pissed. He'd always known that one day he was going to have to marry someone who was chosen for him, someone that he wouldn't have much time to get to know, and given his track record, likely someone he wouldn't even like. All the same, to find out that Denton had chosen someone without even talking to him first made him angry.

Denton had been his father's advisor before he died. He'd practically raised Spot and while it was safe to say he was one of the only people Spot actually loved, they two didn't always get along very well. Denton wanted to make sure that Spot would be ready to rule when the time came. Seeing as how his father had died years ago, he would be crowned king as soon as he turned 18, leaving him with far less time to prepare than most had. Spot had watched Denton rule as the Lord Protector, learning all he could from him, until he effectively took over at 16. It was a hard life and while Spot often wished it had been passed to someone else, he wanted the best for his people and wasn't willing to risk turning over his kingdom to someone who didn't care about it as much as he did.

Spot's inevitable marriage was one of the most common debates between the him and Denton. It always started the same way. Denton would ask if Spot had thought any more about one suitor or another, Spot would get defensive over all the other things he had been working on lately till Denton pointed out that Spot was using that as an excuse to avoid thinking about it. Spot would get angry, Denton would yell back and they'd fight till Spot inevitably stormed from the room to lock himself away in his office for hours on end. They always made up quickly, they couldn't afford not to, and they both understood the other's position. The last argument had ended with Spot telling Denton to just find someone for him so that he didn't have to think about it anymore.

Sitting in his office, Spot now regretted telling Denton to decide without him. Spot realized that while he trusted Denton to try not to doom him to a miserable life, he had given up what little choice he'd had in finding someone to marry. Knowing Denton, it was likely someone serious, stoic, and far to boring for Spot's taste. Someone who could help him run his kingdom well, but probably not someone he would want to spend his life with.

Most of the reason why Spot loathed the idea of an arranged or political marriage, though he would never be caught dead admitting it, was that he wanted to have a chance to actually fall in love with someone. He wanted the chance to admire them from across the hall, for his friend's to tease him whenever his crush walked in the room. He wanted to ask them on a date and go to the movies or watch the stars together talking about everything and nothing. He wanted to hold their hand and watch their face light up when they talked about their passions. He wanted to make pancakes on a Sunday morning while his partner cooed over their kid in the living room. He wanted so many things that he'd never get the chance for.

Spot jumped as his phone vibrated next to him. Looking down he saw the name lighting up the screen. Of course Davey would be calling him. Spot had known Davey Jacobs for as long as he could remember. The Jacobs family had always been granted nobility back when Spot's grandmother had been queen for their ongoing efforts to align the monarchy with the needs and feelings of the people. Ever since the family had been both politicly active and well loved by most of the nation. Because of their close relations with the royal family, Davey, Sarah, and Spot had practically grown up with each other. Spot wasn't always sure if Les knew that he was technically his future king, but Spot didn't care for Les to ever see him as anything other than his older brother's stressed out friend.

He huffed and ran a hand down his face before declining the call and going back to the document he had been trying to distract himself with earlier. Not five seconds later his phone lit up again. Groaning he declined the call again, unlocking his phone and typing out a text before the young politician could call him another time. Just as he was about to send it, that damned picture of a smiling, gap toothed 8 year old Davey took over his screen again.

"Davey what the fuck do you want?"

"Wow, Denton said it was bad but I didn't expect that," Davey's languid and amused voice gave away that Spot's reaction was exactly what he had expected.

Spot gritted his teeth a took a deep breath before he responded.

"Jacobs, I swear, you'd better have something real important to say."

"Dude you just got engaged and you don't even know who it is. You literally told your dad to choose someone for you."

Only a handful of people knew that Spot would often refer to Denton as his dad. Given that his actually father had been the king and was now dead, it would have been considered disrespectful of him to refer to anyone else as his father, even though the former king had never had much of a hand in raising Spot in the first place.

"Yes, which is why you had better say something interesting in the next five seconds or I'm hanging up, I've got work I was doing before you called!"

"Uh huh, because you were definitely focused on that and not on your future husband," Spot could hear Davey rolling his eyes through the phone.

After a moment of silence, Davey huffed slightly before speaking again.

"Look Spot, how about I come over tonight. I don't want you stewing around your office and don't say you're working, we both know you aren't gonna get anything done like this. Let's just watch a movie, maybe sleep out on the balcony and talk. You need some time to process this."

Spot sighed before answering. "Ya know what Dave, you pick out the movie and I'll cover snacks."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Spot laughed, "You'd better, Jacobs."

20 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I love how I hardly posted anything at all whoops #Okay but I’ve been thinking about the sprace royal wedding au thing lately how are we feeling about that one boys? Should I revisit it?#Also the bestie being my top reblogged #Celeste my beloved

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landboundstar-writing · 2 months ago

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Trade Secrets Part 18

Repost from main blog

If you like reblog, and please tip if you can.

There are some things time and experience teach the best.

Most eleven year olds don't know when to stop arguing, but Harvey was more determined to argue than most eleven year olds, even when he shouldn't.

We had all ended up back at Wayne manor. Somehow, it seemed like a logical choice. It wasn't fair to Zatanna to pull her away from a visit. Or to Selina, so desperate to be back in Gotham. Hell, it wasn't even fair to Harvey or Bruce. In spite of the fighting, they needed to be cared for. And not just because of Bruce's bloody nose and sore knuckles.

But, as Rachel grabbed cups of tea and cocoa and I sat, adding a little soothing magic into the next cold compress, Harvey, it seemed, was still looking for a fight. Even if he had to make one.

"Why do you even care? Why not just send me home so my parents can call me a disappointment!"

"Because, to be blunt, I believe your parents cannot be arsed enough to care."

Alfred sounded calm, but the cool ripple of anger threading his words and the less than polite slang said just how upset he actually was.

"Then why pretend that you care?"

"He does."

Bruce moved the compress for a second so that he could talk. I was sure he did not have a broken nose, but I was not so sure, without magic assistance, that the bruising starting to form would not leave him with a glorious black eye.

Harvey turned, instinctively, toward the answer, I think surprised to hear Bruce speak. And the look on his friend's face had Bruce bristling like an irritated cat, the compress dropping, forgotten as Bruce's own temper flared.

"He does care! He really does. I don't know why sometimes. Maybe it's because he's paid to take care of people. But Alfred does care. Don't say he doesn't."

I picked up the compress and fought not to wince. Bruce's defense of Alfred was sweet and touching. And I had no doubt that it had hurt Alfred deeply.

"So what now? We're supposed to just pretend it didn't happen? Sweep it under the rug?"

"Did I say that?" Alfred swept his hand back towards the grandfather clock behind him. "It is past eleven. The lot of you are going to bed. Then, in the morning, we'll have a talk in the gym. Because, while you do not have to attend every fight you are invited to, it is a good idea to know how to protect yourself in case you ever need to. But I am not doing that in the middle of the night. Gio, if you don't mind helping?"

"Helping is no problem."

I found myself repeating those words an hour later, as I poured whiskey into two glasses.

"He didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." Alfred sighed before taking a sip of his drink. "I know."

"Bruce hasn't lost his temper like that in a while."

"Three years. I honestly have been hoping to see it. He's been sad and scared, but so quiet since we lost Thomas and Martha."

"I think learning how to manage himself in a fight will help." I said.

"Finding things he can do so that he doesn't feel he has no control over anything that happens in his life. It was a suggestion his therapist has made as well."

Alfred shut his eyes and leaned back.

"Please don't fall asleep in that chair. You are entirely too tall for that."

Alfred raised two fingers on one hand to briefly acknowledge my comment when a quiet knock on the door had him sit bolt upright, whiskey splashing in amber waves inside the glass.

Bruce quietly opened the door.

"Alfred."

Then, Bruce ran over, enfolding him in a tight hug before smiling.

"Good night."

We both looked at the door Bruce had closed as he ran out.

"He knows you care."

Alfred smiled, wiping at tears.

"I know."

#writing #please support me #batman #repost from main blog #fic #bruce wayne #catwoman #harvey dent #selina kyle #two face #zatanna zatara

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mccallhero · 3 months ago

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sorry, i'm just going to reblog this b/c i realized replies have a really low character limit lmao

my original message:

i’m interested in hearing what kind of actions and mistakes you think scott should be held accountable for? i’m not saying that he hasn’t made mistakes, but i know everyone has their own lists in mind, so i think in order to have a discussion about this, a good place to start would be to see where you think scott’s biggest faults are. i know my username and bio show my bias quite clearly, but i would actually be interested in having this discussion!

your response:

Thank you for this. I just dealt with some real mob mentality for wanting to talk to people in my Fandom. I appreciate an actual interest. The one thing that always stood out to me was Scott using Derek to bite Gerard. Derek would've gladly helped him off he had included him on the plans. He used the bite against Derek, who described it as a gift. He made him use it on the man who murdered his family. I know Scott thought he was protecting his mom, but at what cost. He tried to kill Gerard, he used Derek to do it. And then never apologized or showed remorse, to my knowledge.

(sorry for taking a few days to respond, i didn't have time until right now)

first i'd like the say the reason i responded to your post was because i did see the other responses, and i felt like a lot of the responses were rushed to immediately defend scott and assume your opinions on a lot of other issues the fandom has with scott's character while not giving a genuinely good argument. i think this happened bc there is a history in the fandom of scott's character being treated extremely poorly, and a lot of opinions of scott do seem hypocritical b/c his actions are no worse than stiles' or derek's, but stiles and derek are forgiven by the fandom while scott is not. i also think it's important to mention that scott is brown while stiles and derek are white, and so the optics of forgiving stiles and derek while admonishing scott are not great at best, and there have been a lot of racist themes in this fandom against scott

the reason i mention this is b/c i think that is why the other responses were based on assumptions of your opinions, and weren't as open to discussion. it is a trend within this fandom to hate scott, and as someone who has loved scott's character for a decade now, it is easy to see that the general opinion of scott is affected by scott's skin colour. that being said, i am not saying that your opinion or thoughts are affected by this, but i do believe that is why a lot of scott defenders tend to be defensive of his character and is important to acknowledge

now that i discussed that, i will get into discussing scott's actions, which is what your original post was about. i asked what actions scott should be held accountable for in order to find a basis for this discussion, and the one that sticks out in your mind is scott using derek to bite gerard, and i would agree that scott never verbally apologized or showed remorse for this action. i think where we would disagree (please, tell me if i am wrong) is that i don't view this as an action scott needs to apologize or redeem himself for. yes, it's very likely that if derek did know scott's true plans, derek would go along with it--but i think there's also a strong chance of that going wrong

scott's plans of killing gerard depended on what gerard would do--in that, the only way for the bite to kill gerard was if gerard demanded derek give him the bite by threatening innocents. remember that scott and deaton created the plan to poison gerard with mountain ash before gerard ever had control over the kanima, which meant that when scott came up with the plan, he still had the option to walk up to gerard and kill him. the reason scott didn't feel bad about the potential of his actions leading to gerard's death was because gerard was burying his own grave by threatening good people and forcing derek to give him the bite. if scott had told derek about his plan when it was originally concocted, there would also be a high likelihood that derek would see that as permission to just kill gerard, which is not something scott wanted--again, scott's actions would only lead to gerard's death if and only if gerard was evil

so scott didn't tell derek because scott didn't trust derek, which was extremely valid in season 2. in this season, derek had manipulated teenagers into turning into werewolves by preying on their vulnerabilities and insecurities, something that scott was actively against and tried to prevent happening with boyd. scott didn't view the bite as a gift because it destroyed his life and knew it would destroy others (he was right, erica and boyd are dead). i'm not saying this from an anti-derek position, because i do believe derek changed entirely from who he was in s2, but him manipulating teenagers into taking the bite was fucked and alone would be a valid enough reason for scott not to trust him. also in this season, derek had insisted on killing lydia based on the fear that she was the kanima, while scott had to fight against it. then derek had insisted on killing jackson and scott had to fight against it. derek and scott only eventually teamed up on the agreement that they would try to save jackson, which derek ended up betraying and then attempted to kill jackson. derek also ended s2 by teaming up with peter, who is not only a villain, but is also the villain that destroyed scott's life. all of these are examples of why scott didn't trust derek in season 2, and why scott didn't tell derek of the plan

it's up to the viewer to decide whether scott's actions were justified or not, but ultimately i think the reason scott never seemed remorseful for this action was because he didn't need to be. derek was not a friend to scott in season 2, though they were allies and i do think derek cared about scott, but derek in s2 was perhaps at his most flawed and he spent all of s3a dealing with the consequences of his mistakes and growing from them (losing erica and boyd, but then eventually giving up his alpha status to save cora). scott was a teenager who was trying his best to do the right thing in a world where everyone was trying to get him to do the wrong thing. he just wanted to save his friends, other teenagers who were victims of the actions of adults, and derek (in s2) was actively making victims out of teenagers

you also mentioned in the original post that "accountability doesn't always have to be a verbal apology but an acceptance, or apology through actions." i don't believe scott ever seemed remorseful for this action, but i also think it's important to acknowledge that after s2, scott does become a lot more friendly towards derek and open to teaming up together. yes, a lot of this is because derek is beginning to change into a better person, but scott shows a more open-minded perspective towards derek before even interacting with him again after the battle with gerard. in s3x01:

STILES: You wanna ask Derek for help? Why? Why? SCOTT: He’s got the triskele tattooed on his back. So there has to be a way to do it without healing, right?

scott is already willing to ask derek for help with a personal issue, which shows that he is willing to be friendly with derek, something that wouldn't have happened in s2. scott in s3a also takes on the task of becoming a better person. in 3x01:

BLAKE: I’m sure it’s an emergency if your mother needs you to leave school. But I’m going to give you a warning, in the nicest possible way. I am well aware of your attendance record. I don’t want to see you slip back into old habits. SCOTT: I won’t. It’s gonna be different this year. BLAKE: Resolutions are only good if you stick with them, Scott. SCOTT: I will. I promise it won’t be ephemeral.

and

SCOTT: Why didn’t you tell me before? MELISSA: Honestly, I was hoping I didn’t have to. SCOTT: What do you mean? MELISSA: Everything that you’ve been doing. The extra reading, the summer school... Saving up for the bike even though it scares me half to death, I - Honey, I just didn’t want to disrupt a good rhythm. SCOTT: It’s not gonna stop. I’m gonna be better this year. A better student, a better son, a better friend, a better everything. I promise.

this change in scott's behaviour is based off of a lot of personal failures in s2, and looking at this while also considering his new openness to being friendly with derek, i think it can be seen that scott is trying to also have a better relationship with derek. another example in 3x01:

SCOTT: Hey. Are you gonna tell me who that was back there? That alpha? DEREK: A rival pack. It’s my problem. I know you wanna help and you did, I owe you one. Now go home. Go back to being a teenager. SCOTT: Uh. Hey Derek. If you wanna repay back that favor now... there is something you can do for me.

scott then not only asks for derek's help with the tattoo, but also opens up to derek (and stiles) in 3x01:

DEREK: Yeah, I see it. Two bands, right? SCOTT: Yeah. DEREK: What does it mean? SCOTT: I dunno. It’s just something I traced with my fingers. DEREK: Why’s it so important to you? SCOTT: Do you know what the word tattoo means? STILES: To mark something. SCOTT: That’s in Tahitian. In Samoan it means Open Wound. I knew I wanted to get a tattoo when I turned eighteen. I always wanted one. I just decided to get it now to make it kind of a reward. DEREK: For what? SCOTT: For not calling or texting Allison all summer. Even when I really wanted to. Even when it was so hard not to sometimes. I was trying to give her the space she wants. Now I’m four months later, it still hurts. Still feels like a, uh... STILES: Like an open wound. SCOTT: Yeah. DEREK: Pain’s gonna be worse than anything you’ve ever felt.

scott did not need to open up in front of derek, but instead chose to, which is another action that showed he was willing to build a better relationship with derek. scott then calls derek in 3x02 for help in recognizing the mark that braeden left on lydia and allison's arms.

Allison: That girl was looking for Scott. I'm here to help him, not you. Derek: You wanna help? Find something real. Scott: Derek... Give her a chance. Okay, they're on our side now.

note that scott specifically says 'our side,' which again, shows not only is he willing to team up with derek and to turn to derek for help, but genuinely considers them being on the same side now, which is not what he considered in s2.

again, this all occurs before derek shows that he is changing, which i believe derek begins to exhibit later in 3x02 by how much he wanted to save erica and boyd, and then confirms in 3x03 when he sacrifices his own well-being to try and save an innocent person when cora and boyd are locked in the boiler room with jennifer blake.

with their last (known) interaction being scott forcing derek to give gerard the bite, i don't think it's absurd to assume that this is scott taking accountability for his actions. no, he doesn't feel remorseful about what he did, but he does know that if he and derek had a better relationship, then it could have been handled differently. personally, i think this is a great resolution for what happened in s2, because even with scott forcing derek to give gerard the bite, i think it would be unreasonable to paint scott as 100% the villain and derek as 100% the victim after what derek had done in s2. yes, in that act alone, without considering anything else, scott was the one doing something evil. however, for the majority of the other scenes of s1 and s2, the dynamic was the opposite and derek was the one doing something evil and scott was the one suffering for it. and scott's actions were necessary to stop gerard, while a lot of derek's actions were just mistakes that derek eventually realized he was in the wrong for, and it was a direct result of these actions that scott didn't trust him. scott then did try to fix what was wrong with their relationship, by trusting him more and more in s3a and turning to derek when he needed help.

your original post ended with: "Am I wrong about Scott? Did he show his apology through changed behavior or some other action when I wasn't looking? Was he held accountable and learned his lessons?"

i wrote all of this to show that i do believe, in the action that always stood out to you, that scott did change his behaviour in order to prevent a situation like that one from ever reoccurring. i don't view it as an apology as, like i said, i don't think scott needed to apologize, but i do think he knew that the situation was unfortunate and he took accountability by changing his relationship with derek. he held himself accountable and made it his goal to become a better person, and succeeded as from after that moment, he and derek only became closer and they looked to each other for support.

I saw an interesting argument that Derek and Stiles, even Peter, were less accountable for their mistakes and actions than Scott McCall.

I'd like to have a civil discussion about this topic.

For me personally, Peter was never touted as a "good guy" so that argument is just silly and is immediately thrown to the side. He is a great villain, who occasionally does nice things, but usually for his own benefit. So he's out of this discussion.

I think Derek has shown the most remorse, and most changed behavior after learning from his mistakes. Accountability doesn't always have to be a verbal apology but an acceptance, or apology through actions. Derek, in my opinion, shows his apology by throwing himself into danger for you. He literally falls on the sword. And he's shown the most growth, or he wouldn't have evolved like he did.

Stiles, for me, isn't really a good guy type either. He's always been firmly on the morally gray side of things, so I expect his decisions to be questionable. Stiles is rarely wrong, it's just that not everybody thinks to actually listen to him. And when he does make a mistake or wrong you, he makes up for it by saving your ass.

I think that's the best kind of apology.

Am I wrong about Scott? Did he show his apology through changed behavior or some other action when I wasn't looking? Was he held accountable and learned his lessons?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

#scott mccall #derek hale #scerek #teen wolf #my thoughts #hellameyers

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aelaer · 3 years ago

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Multiverse of Madness: Spoilerific Review Ahoy!

It's all going under the cut! Everything! All the thoughts about everything in this film! It's very long.

So I'm going to likely see it again on Saturday so my thoughts may change between now and then. I'll just reblog and add more thoughts if they do, as part of my brain throughout the first thirty minutes was just processing the fact that OMG I'm watching a Doctor Strange film again after so many years!

A video on YouTube that someone on Discord posted, by ComicBookCast2, said it perfectly: this movie is a stepping stone, an Iron Man 2, an Age of Ultron, a movie that has to exist in order to expand the greater universe. Those two movies are usually panned as not being some of the greatest, but I'd say of the three there, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is definitely the strongest stepping stone movie we have. And I understand why Feige would want to use Doctor Strange as a character to open up this immense concept. Considering the importance of Iron Man and the Avengers in the overall MCU, that speaks to good things regarding Doctor Strange's future (especially as Benedict seems to continue to want to play him).

I'll start with all the side characters first:

America: I really liked America's arc in this film, how she basically started as not knowing how to control her powers to being forced to take control to save herself, and then getting a pep talk from the Best Strange to show Wanda what she was actually doing. That was a powerful climax, and a hugely emotional climax for the character. And in Kamar-Taj in the MCU, I think she has the capability to grow into the powerful comic book character that she is, and gain all the skills that she has as a young adult when we first meet her in the comics.

Christine: One of the first rumors I read about this film that completely bummed the hell out of me was that Christine was going to die on her wedding day, presumably from the creature that the toy companies call "Gargantos" but that really looks like a "Shuma-Gorath" but dies as easily as your Monster of the Week. As this didn't happen, I was bloody thrilled. I have no idea if that scene was actually filmed or not. I wasn't expecting to like her multiversal version as much as I did, though that she was also betrayed by her Stephen was definitely something else. It put Stephen in the same position as he was with his Christine, in a way. It made their last scene together all the more precious, I think.

Wong (and Kamar-Taj): I loved seeing Sorcerer Supreme Wong really lead the defense of the entire society, and I couldn't blame him breaking under pressure by seeing people he knew and cared for being tortured like that. In terms of who was Sorcerer Supreme, I think Wong really worked having the title here, because it let Stephen's job open to protect America (and explore the multiverse) as opposed to needing to stay with the sorcerers of Kamar-Taj to regroup once it fell.

It was also very enjoyable to see Wong's own badass moments, though I don't blame him at all for falling to Darkhold!Wanda. We got a good look at just how OP the Darkhold made someone who already had huge amounts of power. RIP Sara though, existing for just a couple lines only to burn to a crisp. Just like the London Master, Sol Rama, in the first DS film xD

I enjoyed the cameos by Hamir and Rintrah and I hope they survived the attack. It was also great to see the London and Hong Kong Sanctum masters. The little bowing joke was fun, as was that little payoff at the end!

Mordo: One of the earlier spoilers I read from this film was that Wanda killed our Mordo, and I was really happy to see that if it was filmed, it didn't make the cut, because our Mordo has the history with Strange that's important. I was totally tricked with Mordo. Like, I knew that he looked like the one that was sword-fighting him in the trailer, but then he was so nice and all and I figured "oh, this must be a different universe", and I honestly thought that the Illuminati universe was going to be another one.

Then nope! Here's Mordo and the Illuminati. His hand-to-hand fight with Stephen was just *amazing*. I didn't get Stephen's comments to him though, about him always hating him. That was part of the comic lore, but I definitely didn't get that feeling in the first DS film. It feels like something that happened behind the scenes between DS1 and IW, maybe things Mordo said to Wong, or if Mordo left behind writings--or something. Definitely seems like it's something untold that someone should write a fanfic for. Was very happy overall with his character though, even if I didn't get our Stephen's comments in the context of the MCU.

Loved Stephen's reaction to his first name lmao. Also found it very interesting that he called himself Baron here! I wonder if that will be the same case for our Mordo?

The Rest of the Illuminati: I'm glad they were just cameos and that they were the only cameos serving basically as obstacles for Wanda. I'm really glad. The only other cameo I'd have been fine with is Deadpool, and that's just because Deadpool's super amazing. I don't think it'd fit with the tone of the rest of the film though, so it makes sense he wasn't in it, despite rumors. Illuminati!Strange definitely fit with this gang, being about "end justifies the means", and them making the "hard decisions" that don't necessarily mean good ones. Illuminati!Strange in the comics, too, destroyed an entire Earth, though that was a "kill or be killed" type of situation the Illuminati dealt with in the comics. I like that this variant of superheroes exist, all with people who've made insane decisions somewhere in the comics or the MCU as part of it.

Black Bolt's death is one of the most gnarly deaths on screen ever, and you won't change my mind. That was insane.

Wanda: I don't remember where I said it--probably in a Discord chat--but I basically said that if the trailer of her attacking Kamar-Taj killed innocent people, that they really could not redeem this version of her as a hero in the MCU. And because she was so brutal and corrupted, because she hurt so many people, her destroying the Darkhold and (potentially?) dying was probably the best end that they could have given her.

I think I would have preferred a plot where she fought against the Darkhold's power earlier on, that someone had caught up with her earlier and that this movie was a path of redemption for her. But since they didn't go that route, I think the original MCU!Wanda staying supposedly dead is probably the cleanest exit they can give her because she at least realized the monster she had turned into and kept it so that others would not fall to the same fate ever again across the Multiverse. It gives her tragic fall a noble ending.

I do find it interesting that the Scarlet Witch is singular in the Multiverse (IIRC), but that Wanda Maximoff is not (as we saw). I'm not sure if they'll have people travelling across universes into the MCU to take the place of the dead characters we have if the actors still want to portray them, but that may be what we see with Wanda, especially since White Vision still exists out there.

I was very happy to see an non-corrupted Wanda too. I think it showed a great contrast of who Wanda was before the Darkhold (combined with her grief) corrupted her. My brother, who apparently really liked WandaVision (and went to see the film with me), said he really didn't like corrupted Wanda himself, and I wonder how many people were looking for redemption arcs in this film after that show, or how many were looking for Wanda to embrace the evil of the Darkhold.

Stephen: The one and only--only, not the one and only. I could see one of the re-shot parts immediately within the first few minutes with Defender!Stephen repeating nearly word-for-word what Stephen told Peter in NWH. And, honestly? Fucking brilliant. I was shocked he would be like that, but at the same time, he's had to make the hard calls before--especially in the name of keeping control. So seeing Defender!Strange look at America as, ultimately, a threat? Yeah, I see it.

But in having all other three Stranges--Defender, Sinister, and Illuminati Stephen--make the decision to sacrifice others for their own need for control was a great way to juxtapose how different our Stephen is. There was some loss of control with using the Time Stone, out of necessity as he saw no other way. But he continues to learn that he cannot control everything in NWH and even moreso in MoM, until we get to the finale where he goes against Wong's order and uses what he's observed, his cleverness, to tell America what no one else has told her. And his wisdom leads to the end of the conflict.

It wasn't an ending I was expecting, to say the least--but damn, it's satisfying that both the ending of DS1 and DS2 were not Stephen beating an enemy by hitting magic at it, but by using his head. Magic was still used (the Time Stone and the Darkhold, respectively), but the solution would not have come if Stephen wasn't clever about his creative thinking. And that's one reason he's so unique as a superhero--and more unique than his counterparts, who simply go for control and power.

So many other Stephen details and plot points I liked:

I'm glad we got clarification of Stephen's status amongst the normal people now. I feel like this happened after Infinity War in particular, when the Avengers had to tell people what happened and he started getting known. Then after Endgame it got really known.

The film seemed to clarify that Stephen was never Sorcerer Supreme because he never learned about the Book of Vishanti being real. That was a very, very appeasing fact to me. Yes, I love being right.

I loved that dreams were glimpses of alternate realities, because I have written this concept in fanfic (the Sherlock/Strange crossover). IMO it's not all dreams though, and I think some people are more likely to have these types of dreams than others.

I love that incursions (convergences in the comics) are a thing. I also love this because I have an unpublished fanfic that is leading up to this, so now I gotta really get working on that so I can publish it already.

I adored what little we got of Sinister Strange and could easily have an entire film about our Stephen and Sinister Stephen just outwitting each other in this epic adventure. Like, replace Wanda with Sinister Strange and there's a new favorite film xD But I get why they didn't do that lol. Still, it was great to get a glimpse of this unhinged, corrupted character. He's not the tragic, fallen hero of What If?; he's simply unhinged.

I'm still torn on the musical fight scene. My logic brain that has written thousands upon thousands of words of meta on magic and its inner workings went "this make no sense" but my visual brain went "omg look that's so cool and pretty!" So what I'll likely end up doing is writing that scene in fanfic with so much technical magic explanation that people won't know what to do with it. But that's not happening until the film's out on streaming so I can watch it over and over and over again. (And I get other pieces done first).

All the shots we have now of Stephen in everyday wear and formal wear makes me so so so happy. So happy.

So the film wasn't about Stephen- it was definitely more a film about watching things unravel from Stephen's POV. But I'm glad we got to know more of his character (DONNA FINALLY GOT A MENTION), and that he had a solid character arc and definitely an impact on the climax and ending. And that it wasn't a cameo-stuffed CGI monster battle. I'm happy it wasn't- I was worrying about that.

I don't know about how I feel with Stephen getting a literal third eye. I always saw it as something a lot more metaphorical, personally. But hey, it led to a verrryyy interesting ending hinting at a lot more Doctor Strange and, of course, a quick cameo by Clea! I am very glad Clea is not being played by Rachel McAdams. I would have liked an Asian actress but I figured that'd be a long shot.

Things I would have liked to see:

I think I would have still enjoyed Superior Iron Man. So long as he wasn't played by Tom Cruise. And knowing that he would die in the end lmao. But I get why they went with Reed Richards instead, new era of Marvel and all.

There was a rumor that one of the credit scenes was going to be RDJ coming back as a cameo as Iron Man and apologizing for having him die, and that Stephen would have been able to make a similar apology. A pipe dream, alas; I don't think RDJ's coming back for any cameos.

WHY THE FUCK WASN'T THE EYE OF AGAMOTTO EXPLAINED? WHAT THE HELL MARVEL? WHY DOES IT SUDDENLY WORK AS IT DOES AND DID YOU FORGET THAT THANOS CRUSHED IT IN INFINITY WAR?

Seriously, I'm still annoyed by this. I have to fix everything myself, I swear.

I think it could have been 15-20 minutes longer with some more downtime between the action, with more scenes between Stephen/Wong and Stephen/America, or Stephen/Stephen. The talk between the two Stephens was freaking amazing.

Uh yeah, actually, not a lot of complaints. I think the biggest one would have been a preference with Wanda not as the villain, but that would be an entire rewrite of the story and it's not that much of a deal-breaker to me since she got her alternate version as well as something of a way to make herself not terrible at the end.

When it comes to a rating, I think I'll need to sit on it a bit more. I think NWH still packed more of an emotional punch for me, but I still definitely enjoyed MoM. Maybe an 8? 8.5? I'll see it again on Saturday, I think, so we'll see how I feel then.

#multiverse of madness #doctor strange #review #stephen strange #mcu #spoilers #ds mom #wanda maximoff #wong #benedict cumberbatch #benedict wong #america chavez #karl mordo

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janthecrow · 3 years ago

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RAMBLE ABT UR AU!! I am LISTENING!!! Seriously tho i would love to hear abt it- :00

YAYAYYA- OKAY OKAY- SO- the au is actually based off of a song by OR3O called ‘Help Me!’ it’s a really good song and the fanfic was named after the song too! (and to those who know, yes i am aware there was another dhmis fanfic on wattpad with the same name but i forgot about it at the time of making the au and fanfic)

in the au red guy doesn’t go to the ‘real world’ after getting his head popped, he actually dies and turns into a ghost and he has floating eyes along with floating glitter and red strings where his head used to be because of his death! because of that he doesn’t unplug the machine so duck and yellow turn into ghosts too, duck has his chest and stomach opened up because of the monster cans and yellow has oil leaking from his now pitch black eyes and his mouth, he’s also still wearing his pajamas that now have oil stains on them because of larry

also for the fanfic of said au, i made it a reader insert! (and no there wasn’t any shipping lol) in the story the reader moves into the house which is in the middle of nowhere (at the time i wasn’t sure if it should be in clayhill or not)

actually- here’s a summary of the fanfic!

“(Y/N) has moved into a new house that seems to be in the middle of nowhere, they didn't really mind since it was cheap and looked nice. After settling in for a while they started to feel like something was up with the place, it was their new home after all so it could be just that. But then one morning they woke up to see some unexpected visitors.”

yes i know it’s bad lol (in my defense this fanfic was made around 2020 and i’m not the best at writing-)

idk why but for the second chapter the reader has a dream where it was a memory from the point of view of yellow guy and it was him and the others collecting sticks for the first lesson?? i also gave little hints for the teachers i think-

some of the plans for the fanfic i had was that the reader would meet the trio after waking up one day (as said in the summary) and the trio would actually help the reader get through the lessons by doing everything correctly unlike them and by doing so, the teachers actually get along with the reader! the teachers also can’t see or hear the trio unlike the reader. things would be going smoothly until the dream episode since well- yellow didn’t survive it but i couldn’t think of anything past that oof-

o yeah also here’s the cover- sorry that it’s in bad quality i could only take a screenshot of it on wattpad since it’s saved on my old phone

i’ll try to go on my old phone and reblog this post with the original image once i save it! anyway i hope you liked me rambling about this old au

#tw death #tw death mention #dhmis #dhmis au #jan replies

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littleoddwriter · 3 years ago

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okay it is I once more. Another Barba fic?? 😭 Your writing is so good and there's hardly any male readers for this sexy man.

Prompt is: squad finds out Barba is with a man (a detective in the group) and it's super angsty but ends up in a public kiss ?

Should Have Said Something | Rafael Barba x Male!Reader

As so very often, this highkey ran away from me, hfsjhfsdjhk. I really hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for the request and the compliment; I'm so happy you like my writing. :)

summary; A perp in custody threatens Barba to hurt his boyfriend if he didn't make a deal with him. Of course, Barba being Barba doesn't take it seriously, and thus bad things happen, which lead to the squad finding out about you two.

notes; Gun Violence; Death Threats; Blood; Hospitals; Hurt/Comfort; Coming Out as a Couple; Police; Angst with a Happy Ending.

Reblogs > Likes. Thank you!

It wasn’t the first time that it had happened, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying.

“What if something were to happen to your precious boyfriend, hm? I’m sure you don’t want that. So, get me out of here and I promise nothing will happen to him,” the perpetrator told Barba, as his defense attorney desperately tried to shut him up; but it was to no avail.

Rafael’s heart sank. How did he know about you?

“If you think that’s how you get a deal out of this, then you’re sorely mistaken,” Barba replied, luckily succeeding in not displaying the anxiety coursing through his body at the other man’s words.

“You’re gonna regret this, you fucking scumbag!” the perp yelled, straining against his handcuffs that were fastened to the table, as he stood up very suddenly, his chair crashing to the floor.

Immediately, Detectives Benson and Carisi came into the interrogation room and put an end to it all, walking Rafael out and asking if he was okay. He lied and said that he was. They knew it was a lie, but didn’t call him out on it, either.

“I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” Carisi broke the tense silence that had settled around them, trying and failing to lighten up the mood after what had just transpired.

Rafael only glared at him; there was a damn good reason why neither he, nor Liv knew he was in a relationship with anybody.

It was because his aforementioned boyfriend was part of the squad; and you two had already talked it through with each other that you didn’t want anyone to know. Not yet, at least. It was sure to raise problems, and until you didn’t have a solid plan to work around and through them, you weren’t going to tell anybody.

He desperately wanted to see you, so he could soothe his anxiety, but you weren’t present at the precinct, right now.

Instead, Rafael left, so he could work on his opening and closing statements for his next trial, and called you on his way.

At first you didn’t pick up, which certainly did not help his fear that someone has gotten their hands on you, after all. You were a brilliant detective and a good fighter, but he’s seen too many times what could happen to you on the job. He’s seen what had happened to Benson a couple of years back. He was rightfully terrified.

Only a few minutes later, you called him back and he heaved a quiet sigh of relief, before he picked up.

“Rafe? Is everything alright? You usually don’t call me when I’m on the field,” he heard you say as soon as the line clicked and he couldn’t stifle the smile that forced itself on his lips.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I just missed you and wanted to see if everything was going smoothly for you,” he lied expertly.

“God, I’m so lucky, huh? Yeah, everything is fine. Mike and I just got done talking to the newest witness. Well, actually- Mike is still talking to her, because I had to excuse myself to call back a certain someone,” you explained, chuckling towards the end, which made his heart flutter as he was so used to around you. He had it bad for you, there was no denying it.

“I won’t do it again,” he said, “I’m glad everything is okay. Be careful out there. And anywhere else.”

“I am, I promise,” you answered, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Barba honestly didn’t know if telling you the truth would have changed anything, so he didn’t, “Yes. I’ll let you get back to work, then. See you later.”

“Okay, bye-bye!”

Back in his office, Rafael couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh. He was fidgeting with the pen he was holding, as he was trying to come up with a compelling way to close his opening statement; but his thoughts would always be overridden by his anxiety and those very persistent what-ifs.

Realistically, he could only hope that the perpetrator had been bluffing.

A couple of days later, nothing had happened still, and so Rafael allowed himself to revel in the sense of security that it was all a lie, a way for the culprit to get what he wanted. Of course, he never told you about the threat; he knew you would have only pulled all kinds of precautions and he didn’t want to put that weight on your shoulders. It was unnecessary.

Or so he had thought.

When he came to the precinct, a week after the initial threat, everything was as he knew it. There were some people at desks, talking to officers and detectives alike; then, there were some people in the cells; and overall there were cops roaming the facility, just like it should be.

The entire squad was there, too. And every time he saw you with them, it became harder and harder not to wrap his arms around you and kiss you in greeting, like you would do in the safety of your homes.

Liv and you started briefing him on the newest case you’ve gotten your hands on. The other detectives, mostly Carisi, interjected some of their own findings and thoughts. It was all exactly like it was supposed to be.

Yet Barba couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong; that there was a pending disaster waiting to happen. It made him nervous, but he didn’t show it. His gaze often wondered over to you, checking that you were there and alright. He didn’t necessarily feel unsafe – it was hard to with all those cops around him –, but he couldn’t will the anxiety to a stop.

Then it happened.

Several gunshots rang through the station. People were screaming in fear and pain, others were shouting orders. Someone pulled him down to get on the ground and behind the desk for safety. It might have been Carisi.

Frantically, Barba’s eyes were trying to seek you out.

He so wished he hadn’t found you, then.

You were on the ground and there was blood on your face, such as a pained expression. At least one bullet must have hit you. Rafael hoped it grazed you or went through somewhere non-vital.

Cautiously, he crawled over to you and put his hand on your arm.

“Y/N? Can you hear me?” he asked quietly and his voice was shaking, he realised.

“Mh… Rafe,” you groaned, turning your head to look at him blearily, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Rafael looked up to see Liv and Mini Dodds apprehend the culprit. It was the man who threatened him. Of course it was. Barba had no idea how he got here, he was supposed to be in jail until the trial, but it didn’t matter, now. Nothing mattered, while you were on the ground, hurt, because he’d been too stubborn to take a threat against you seriously.

So, out of danger now, he sat up and quickly took off his suit jacket to press it against your bleeding shoulder. It didn’t seem to have hit an artery, but what did he know?

“Baby? Talk to me. You have to stay awake, you know that,” Barba urged you softly, looking you over for more wounds, more blood; but your shoulder seemed to be the only spot.

“I know, sorry,” you murmured, forcing your eyes to stop fluttering closed. “I’m glad you’re okay, my love.”

Rafael nodded, “Yeah, me too. I just wish you weren’t hurt either.”

“Not the first time, you know that. I’ll be fine,” you mumbled, a delirious little smile on your lips.

Rafael leaned forward and leaned his forehead against yours. He didn’t care that you two were still at the precinct and that the others could see you. None of it mattered, now. Not at all.

“Y/N?” Liv asked, kneeling on your opposite side, which prompted Barba to lean back again, as she was looking at you. “Paramedics will be here shortly. You’ll be okay, I promise. Just hold on for a bit longer, alright?”

Then, Olivia looked up at Rafael and as their eyes met, he knew that she’s connected the dots. Her gaze softened, a small, sad smile on her lips, she nodded to him and got back up to guide the paramedics over to you, when they finally entered the scene.

As soon as they came to a stop around you, Rafael was forced to let go and remove his suit jacket from your bleeding shoulder. It was okay. You were in safe hands now.

But looking down on his own hands, he swallowed thickly. They were covered in blood. Your blood. It made him feel sick. He could have prevented all of this from happening, but he hadn’t. He was so damned lucky you weren’t dead; and he held onto the hope that you wouldn’t die in the hospital later, either.

He watched the paramedics lift you on the stretcher and without thinking, he followed them downstairs. Faintly, he registered the rest of the squad doing the same. It comforted him a little to know so many great people stood behind you at all times.

Then, the EMTs loaded you into the back of their bus. Barba could only faintly remember asking if he could come along, which was fortunately granted. He sat behind your head, brushing your sweat-soaked hair back gently, quietly talking to you, while the paramedics kept stabilising you until you arrived at the hospital.

It was a blur to him. He could barely recall the time between coming into the hospital and finally having a doctor come back to him and tell him that your surgery went well and you were in the ICU, expected to wake up very soon. He knew relief washed over him in waves, but it barely mattered at all. It wouldn’t matter until he could actually see and touch you and know with absolute certainty that you were okay.

Carisi, Liv, Amanda, Fin and Mike were all there, too. As were many other officers he didn’t even know. It wasn’t an unusual sight, because whenever a cop got hurt on the job, there was an abundance of fellow police force at the hospital. It would have almost been heart-warming to him if he hadn’t been so terrified of losing you.

When he and the rest of the squad were finally allowed into your room, he couldn’t hide his nervousness, no matter how hard he may have tried. And really, he didn’t care anymore.

Inside, your eyes were open, bleary, but open and you were smiling softly. Rafael’s heart stopped short at the sight. Now, he truly was relieved.

He didn’t care that the others saw; he couldn’t hold back.

So, he rounded your hospital bed, gently brushed his hand through your hair, leaned down and chastely kissed you on the lips in front of the whole squad.

Apparently, you couldn’t have cared less either, as you immediately kissed him back.

Still, he had enough will left in him to break it, then. With a small, but genuine smile, he straightened back up and took your hand into his, holding onto it gently.

“Well, now it all makes a whole lot more sense,” Amanda piped up from the foot of your bed, grinning at you two.

A slight pink tint coloured Rafael’s cheeks, he could feel it.

“You know, you could have told us about that. Then, we could've done something about the threat and all, counsellor,” Carisi added helpfully.

“What? What threat? Rafe?” you inquired, confused as ever.

Barba filled you in on what had occurred before this, then.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think he could- Frankly, I don’t know what I thought. I shouldn’t have put you in danger like this,” he finished, caressing your hand with his thumb all the while.

“Well, I’m sure we could have prevented all this at least, then. But it’s fine. I’m okay, so don’t beat yourself up over it, please. See it on the Brightside, now the whole squad knows about us!” you replied, smiling ever so brightly, despite your woozy state.

“Congrats on that, by the way. You’re good for each other,” Liv said, a friendly smile on her face as she patted Barba’s back.

The others followed suit. Then, they wished you better and left the hospital room for good, finally leaving you two alone.

“You’re really not mad that I didn’t tell you about the threat?” Rafael asked after a few moments of silence.

“A little disappointed, but not mad. You’ve just had threats against your own life a few months ago and didn’t tell anyone, until much later. And now it basically happened again,” you sighed deeply, “You really need to learn to communicate these things. If not to the squad, it should at least be me, y’know?”

Barba nodded, squeezing your hand a little, “I know. I’ll do better in the future, I promise. I think I’ve learned from my mistakes, now.”

“You better,” you grumbled, but chuckled shortly after. “I love you, Rafe.”

“I love you too, baby,” he responded and leaned over to kiss you once more, finally in more or less privacy again.

As he kissed you, he could only think about the fact that he truly was the luckiest man on earth for several reasons, at this very moment.

#tw gun violence #tw hospital #tw wounds #x male reader #male reader #male reader insert #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba fic #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order svu fic #law and order svu imagine

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