#in my defence I was doing uni work right up until i went on tumblr

[doot-boi]

sleep, Ryan. sleeeeep.

Bold ask coming from someone in the same timezone. You first 🔫 /lh

[notwithout-mymuse]

85 questions meme

Tagged by my girl @emmerdaleveterinarycentre <3

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— what was your last…

1. drink: good ol’ english breakfast tea 2. phone call: my mum 3. text message: James, my friend from uni 4. song you listened to: ‘Bad Day’ by Daniel Powter 5. time you cried: last week when I was told my friend from work had died :(

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

— fave colours

12.  blue 13.  red 14. purple

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends:  yes 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: not that I know of 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t think so? 20. found out who your friends are: I feel like things like this are a constant process 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: I know everyone on my list, but probably only communicate regularly with about 20%? 23. do you have any pets: two dogs, my babies! 24. do you want to change your name: nah 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Had a chill day off work, then had family round in the evening, nothing crazy 26. what time did you wake up today: About 11 (oops) but in my defence it is my day off work 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 28. what is something you can’t wait for: I’m going for a spa day next week which is great. And going to the OUAS match next month! 30. what are you listening to right now: whatever radio station my mum has on in the kitchen 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: There were a few Tom’s at my primary school, but that’s it I think?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: the pain in my injured shoulder 33. most visited website: tumblr and twitter 34. hair colour: dark brown 35. long or short hair: long-ish because I haven’t had a haircut in ages 

36. do you have a crush on someone: nah lol.

37. what do you like about yourself: my imagination and my empathy 38. want any piercings: no 39. blood type: no clue 40. nicknames: Beth, Betty, Flo, WIne Mom lol  41. relationship status: single af 42. sign: gemini 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv show: emmerdale 45. tattoos: nope, I have a bad phobia of needles! 46. right or left handed: right 47: ever had surgery: no 48. piercings: just my ear lobes. 49. sport: yoga to do, football to watch 50. vacation: I went to the US last year, and would love to go back 51. trainers: no

— more general

52. eating: I’ve just eaten a bounty bar which was a+ 53. drinking: tea 54. i’m about to watch: the second half of yesterday’s Emmerdale 55. waiting for: nothing?

56. want: more money, lol 57. get married: undecided 58. career: in museums.

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: meh 62. older or younger: older 63. nice arms or stomach: idc 64. hookup or relationships: currently, neither. 65. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: yes, he was a total creep 69. sex on first date: no 70: broken someone’s heart: I hope not! 71. had your heart broken: no 72. been arrested: no 73. cried when someone died: yes 74. fallen for a friend: no

— do you believe in

75. yourself: nah 76. miracles: no 77. love at first sight: nope 78. santa claus: no 79. angels: no

— misc

80. eye colour: brown 81. best friend’s name: Ellie 82. favourite movie: any of the Harry Potter films. 83. favourite actor: Darren Criss

84. favourite cartoon: Scooby Doo was my entire childhood 85. favourite teacher’s name: I didn’t have one particularly?

and I’m tagging:

@theredandwhitequeen, @nooneelsecomesclose17, @omarandjohnny, @nvrtickleadragon,@anidorikiladratalianna, @smugbisexualtrash, @tonyspegasus, @imre-gr and anyone else who hasn’t already done it

[astudyinfreewill]

92 TRUTHS TAG GAME rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

I was tagged by @hestlias, thanks bb! <3 putting this under a cut for length, here we go:

LAST… [1] drink: fennel herbal tea [2] phone call: facetime with my parents [3] text message: claire @mishcollin on text, ambra @silkspectred on whatsapp <3 [4] song you listened to: omg i had like... a super cheesy 80s playlist on streaming, so i think it was ‘total eclipse of the heart’ [5] time you cried: lol probably when i watched the merlin finale for the second time

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: listen i barely get to date people once [7] been cheated on: not that i know of [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: YEP [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (i do get tipsy/drunk, but never to the point of sickness)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue [13] violet [14] pale pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: amazingly, i think i finally have [17] laughed until you cried: no [18] found out someone was talking about you: i don’t think so? [19] met someone who changed you: not in any drastic way, i don’t think [20] found out who your true friends are: yes...ish, or to be more precise -- i was lucky enough to have it confirmed again i have amazing friends to count on, but i’ve also fallen out of touch with people whom i still consider friends, so... who knows, man, who knows [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: lol nope

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i don't know half of them half as well as i should like, and i like less than half of them half as well as they deserve (ok but on the real, i think i know most of them irl, i’m kind of a picky fb adder) [23] do you have any pets: no but i really want a cat :( [24] do you want to change your name: no [25] what did you do for your last birthday: went out to dinner with my closest friends, then out for drinks with them and some university buddies [26] what time did you wake up: around 11am, but in my defence i was up till 4am working on a thesis chapter [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: working on my dissertation sob :))))) [28] name something you cannot wait for: i don’t have any big events coming up, but it would be super nice to meet some internet friends irl :’) [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: yesterday morning, she was visiting for the weekend ♥️ [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i would like to actually have the willpower and focus to work on things when and how much i want to/need to [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ...i actually don’t think i have [33] something that is getting on your nerves: mansplaining, racism, bigotry, ~men’s rights activists, american politics, uk politics, rape culture, heteronormATIVITY, BI ERASURE, THE PATRIARCHY--- [34] most visited website: either my university webmail, or some combo of twitter/facebook [35] elementary: sorta lonely [36] high school: once i was asked if i was a devil worshipper bc i was wearing fishnet gloves [37] college: interesting, challenging, but also fREE ME :))) [38] hair colour: naturally v dark brown, shaded auburn [39] long or short hair: short, trying to grow it out (we’ll see how long i last) [40] do you have a crush on someone: not really, though this one professor at my uni is fine as hell [41] what do you like about yourself? i try to be kind, i’ve got nice eyes, some people find my dry/nerdy sense of humour funny. sometimes i make words happen in a not-too-bad way

[42] piercings: ears (2 left, 1 right)

[43]blood type: A-

[44] nickname: none [45] relationship status: single and often not in the mood to mingle [46] zodiac sign: aquarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: currently i’m slightly obsessed with merlin >> i also greatly enjoy brooklyn nine nine, new girl, parks and recreation, and jane the virgin [49] tattoos: none but i’m considering getting one shhh it’s a secret [50] right or left handed: right-handed

FIRST… [51] surgery: never had one (fingers crossed) [52] piercing: oh boy, i think i was like 11? [53] best friend: i don’t think i really have one best friend, currently, but i do have an irl #squad of 3 amazing ladies and we’d probably help each other bury bodies (ok maybe not quite but u get me) [54] sport: LMAO (ok no i actually really want to start yoga but....... i’m so lazy.........) [55] vacation: yes please [56] pair of trainers: uhh currently just a really comfy pair of trainers from an italian brand?

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: still fennel tea [59] i’m about to: probably queue some posts on tumblr, watch a few youtube videos, and then sleep [60] listening to: ~the sound of silence~ (literally, not the song) [61] waiting for: me to finally get my life together and stop being a disorganised trainwreck [62] want: to be happy, or at least content with where i’m at. also, to write. [63] get married: would be nice, but not a priority/necessity [64] career: as long as it pays the bills and is not mind-numbingly boring, i’m up for anything

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: irrelevant as long as the age difference isn’t extreme [69] romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationships [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no [75] drank hard liquor? yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i would probably be dead if i had [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? one person, probably [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? yes [83] fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? sometimes (rarely) [85] miracles? yes [86] love at first sight? i believe in infatuation at first sight; love takes time to build [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? depends on how it goes! [89] angels? yes, though not necessarily ones with fluffy wings and halos

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: don’t have just one best friend, but the group chat of my main girls is labeled ‘boss ass bitches’, which is hilarious because we are in fact 4 gigantic nerds [91] eye colour: hazel [92] favourite movie: stardust for feel-good movie, the lotr trilogy for epicness

i’m super sorry i’m literally exhaUSTED but this was fun!!! so please go ahead and steal it ♥️

[ourghoststories]

Bullying

Warnings: Bullying, mentions of anxiety, mentions of depression

So... As I feel kinda sad right now, I decided I'd take this time to elaborate on a topic that has affected most people in some way, shape, or form.

Bullying is so, so, so serious. I can speak from years upon years of experience- it is a hugely traumatic ordeal... It doesn’t just mature you beyond your years, it completely changes you as a person- your ideas, thinking and perspective.

Many famous people face these problems as well as everyday people, on average 3.2 million people are victims of bullying every year, and that’s only an estimate. 

I can say that the bullying and exclusion that I have faced for a majority of my life has definitely opened my eyes to how cruel people can be, namely teens/pre-teens; That has been a bad experience for me in many ways, causing severe anxiety, depression, insecurities, panic attacks and trust-issues, although it does have a few- limited upsides.

I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING BULLIED STAND UP FOR THEM AND DON’T JUST WATCH (this could potentially save their life or even make them feel so much better about themselves)

Never in a million years would I ever wish bullying on anyone, so IF, you are a bully and you read this, this is your time to reflect on all the hurt you’ve inflicted and right your wrongs, as hard as it may be, do it for yourself and most importantly your victim.

This is me trying to turn my experience for the better, I'm trying to raise awareness and trying to stop this endless cycle of torturous behaviour.

If one person stood up for me, instead of me having to countlessly stand up for myself, things would have been a hell of a lot easier- but instead, I am left with battle scars and am currently debating my self-worth due to some lingering anxiety and issues where I blame myself because of my health issues.

Another thing that bugs me: schools and their peaceful ways of dealing with things... it doesn’t get the message through, it’s bullshit AND DOES NOT WORK AT ALL.

Walking out of the Vice Principles office for the, what, 100th time was shameful when my face was ridden with tears and I felt nothing anymore. 

Currently my brother is going through something very similar to what I went through from about year 2 until it stopped this year, I AM determined to stop this before it’s too late, I will not let others suffer through what I have and this is why I want to stop this, so, incredibly bad.

If you are dealing with bullying, here are some steps that I feel would’ve helped me or did help me:

1. Try to make new friends even if you have social anxiety or it scares you, there’s nothing better than surrounding yourself with nice people, even if it means getting rid of your whole friendship group.

2. Focus on your work and show those suckers -- or just do it for you, because you, are AMAZING

3. talk to someone, not necessarily a counsellor or phycologist if you don’t feel comfortable with them like me, speak to a trusted family member, close friend or even one of your favourite teachers, trust me, they’ll listen.

4. don’t hesitate to go online and make internet friends, even talk to us, because so many people are there for you that don’t even know you, you just need to slide into their dms

5. get a kickarse hobby that you love, I WROTE FANFIC throughout this time and this gave me an escape from reality as it was a fictional world with my favourite people, write songs, dance, sing, learn an instrument, learn self-defence, draw, grow an army of plants and give them names/personalities. CONVINCE YOUR PARENTS TO BUY YOU A DOG EVEN IF THEY WONT (it worked for me), write rants/or shitposts on Tumblr.

6. hang out with your family/siblings more!!!

7. get into a new tv show!!!!!! they’re relatable

8. ignore what the bullies say, don’t react unless you have to (unlike hot-headed me) because then they’ll do it more

9. act really crazy and freak the bully out, it works, they don’t want to even associate themselves with someone who’s crazy

10.  try and make a friend though your hatred of the bully, if it can work for my brother, it can probably work for you

11. try and figure out what you want to do when you’re older/goals, travelling, career, uni degrees etc. 

12. if the bullying is super bad, I hate to say this, but if they hurt you, hit them back, or at least scare them into not doing it (THIS IS A WORST CASE MEASURE)

13. drop out of school, it’s what I did and it worked mostly (hint: if you’re in a position where you can’t and it’s super bad, discuss alternate options such as homeschooling, online schooling etc.)

14. visit bullying websites or call a hotline, it will help, most of the time, it’s worth it.

15. discuss your bullying with other victims of bullying, because they’ll understand what you’re going through

16. be SUPER nice to the bully, it’ll take them by surprise.

17. spread awareness

18. try and have a conversation as to why the person is bullying you (it may not go to plan if you are dealing with a sociopath)

19. if it’s super bad CALL THE POLICE (again worst case measure)

20. don’t isolate yourself, it is the worst mistake I made, someone is there to talk

21. don’t let it destroy your life, do things in your free time such as going to the movies

22. block them/anyone involved ASAP, don’t be tempted to unblock or re-friend because they’ve convinced you they’ve changed.

DISCLAIMER: *I am not responsible if anything bad happens from this, I'm speaking from personal experience.

I hope this has helped as I intended and apologise if it hasn’t. - Darcy