#in my Capitalizing Every Word arc

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.6 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter 5. Chapter 7.

The Gorge

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, names of non-canon dead clones, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DN

Airbase. 

That’s the priority. That's why the 501st had retreated away from the capital. 

A fucking airbase.

You could see it in the distance from where you were. The tall tower was clearly marked by a bright pillar of light that reached towards the clouds.

As Fives, Krell and Rex inspected the area on a cliffside, you and Kix weaved around the men, treating any injuries you saw. Sadly, painkillers were getting to low levels, so you decided to use them for the truly brutal wounds. For those you had to deem were suffering beyond comprehension.

You regretted using them on yourself. 

But, everyone else…well, they were big boys. They just had to handle it. Judging by the uninterested look that Hardcase had while Kix stitched up his shoulder, you were confident that the men weren’t going to complain. 

Your gaze swept over the battalion. The dark, tentacle-like trees had fanned out from the jungle, allowing an easier view of the soldiers. You counted the silhouettes, their white and blue armor stark against the ash colored ground. 

By the end you were right. A majority of the battalion had been injured in some way. Wounds were expected. But this many…It was getting hard to keep up, and judging by the way Kix swayed slightly when he stood, he was feeling the same thing.

“Alright men, we’re splitting the battalion,” Rex called, getting everyone at attention, “Half of you will remain here. The other half, follow me down to the gorge.”

You sighed and watched them go. Your tired steps were about to go to your medical speeder, but Krell halted you, “Doctor, you will be going with them.” He stepped between you and your goal, which was to resupply.

“Respectfully, sir,” you looked up into his small yellow eyes, “I think it would be better if I remained here and-.”

“My orders are for you to go with the platoons down to the gorge.” the besalisk crossed two of his four arms, surprisingly, he wasn’t yelling at you. Instead, his tone was icy and yet uninterested, “I’ve seen how you are during battle, and your expertise is wasted as a backline medic. You will be with the men on the front.”

You blinked and nodded. Was that a compliment? 

“Understood, sir.” you saluted with your uninjured arm and followed the platoon. At this point, arguing with him about your training would only result in a bad outcome.

You found your position next to Kix, who looked very unhappy to see you, “please don’t tell me…” 

“He complimented me,” you gave a sarcastic smile, “Said my expertise was wasted by not being on the front.”

Before Kix could respond, Rex began to speak, getting all the attention onto him, “Alright listen up!” His voice held authority with every word, “We’ll assemble the squads into two divisions. We’ll move straight up this gorge to the airbase on the far side.”

The medic beside you snapped, “The casualties are going to be high!” 

Tup scoffed, “Is Krell trying to get us killed!?”

“You know, I wasn’t sure that Krell was crazy before.” Jesse snarled, helmet in his hand. He practically glared at Rex as he continued, “But now, I’m positive!”

“We had to retreat from the capital because the general pushed a flawed strategy!” It was Fives’ turn to argue, “Now this?”

Hardcase raised his heavy weapon, “I don’t know! Could be fun.”

“Well, I, for one, agree with the general's plan.” Dogma chimed in, seeming much more confident than anyone else. 

“What plan?” You turned to face him, “Blindly rushing into the unknown without a care for the costs isn’t a plan!” Your words might’ve struck Rex, truthfully, you couldn’t look at him to find out. 

You had all the faith in him. You just had no faith in Krell or his tactics. But arguing would seem like you were against your lover and not the temporary General.

“We are running out of time and this is the best option!”

Jesse spoke up again, royally pissed, “No recon? No air support? We don’t know what we’re up against!” He waved his helmet in the air in frustration, “They have weapons we’ve never seen before!” To punctuate his point, he tapped his helmet to his head a couple of times. 

The 501st captain stepped forward, attempting to reason with everyone, “A few of General Skywalker’s plans seemed reckless too, but they worked.”

His words did little to ease the rising tempers, “Yeah, but General Skywalker is usually leading his men up in the front not bringing up the rear like General Krell!” Fives stepped towards Rex, riling up everyone else, “A full frontal assault would leave us too exposed!”

The other men rose up in dissatisfied chatter. They were clearly unhappy with the plan.

“We have to look at other options!”

“It's going to be a meat grinder!”

Rex sighed, frustration clear, “Fives.” He commanded the ARC trooper to follow. The two stepped away, out of earshot. 

“What supplies do we have?” Kix turned to face you, “This…is going to be difficult.”

Wordlessly you took off your pack and knelt to go through the packs you carried. Luckily the both of you stocked up as well as you could from everything on the medical speeder. But it never hurts to check. 

Bandages and bacta were the most needed, and hopefully, you had enough to see this through.

You attempted to get your pack back on by lifting it with your bad arm, only to drop it and hiss in pain. 

“Damnit.” you swallowed, feeling the very bone pulse in agony. It’s only been a few hours since you were shot. Your arm was nowhere near healed. 

Kix put a hand on your uninjured shoulder to hold you steady, “Take it easy.”

“I’m fine,” You mumbled, adjusting your pack, “The men have survived worse than this. How would it look if I burst into tears every time I get hurt?” 

“Nearly getting your arm blasted off isn’t just ‘getting hurt’. If you need a break, the others will understand.” He argued softly.

You shook your head, “And what about you? You’ve been unsteady on your feet from exhaustion for hours and yet you still run around helping those who are wounded.”

“Only because you’ve been taking a majority of them.” Kix responded, though he didn’t argue with your point. 

“Are you two done?” Dogma snapped from his position, “We’re about to start moving.”

“Hey, Dogma, have you considered shutting the fuck up?” An ARF trooper, Jumper, leaned forward on his AT-RT to silence the ground soldier, “How about you don’t pick a fight with the two people keeping all of us alive.”

“Hey-!”

“Everyone, enough.” Jesse finally stepped in to get everyone quiet, “Now is not the time or the place.” A mere minute later instructions were given. 

You’d go with Rex and his half of the platoon. Kix would go with Fives and Hardcase and their half. 

Splitting up…wonderful idea. There’s no way that could ever go wrong. 

You hung back, keeping your position behind a majority of the men. Noct and Nax, however, were walking on either side of you. As if they were intending to guard you from threats. Your nod to them was in appreciation as both platoons marched forward slowly and carefully. 

Three of those flying beasts that attacked on the main road flew overhead. They didn’t make a dive or move towards anyone on the ground. Instead, you’d think they were fleeing something.

A rapidly approaching rumble cut off your thoughts. The ground was shaking, and it was only getting worse. Nax grabbed your wrist to keep you steady as the vibrations got stronger and louder. Even the AT-RT’s were unstable from the sheer power of the sway.

You raised your comm and began to speak, “Kix, what is going-.”

In the distance, you heard the commotion. Shouting. Booms. It sounded like something was…howling? 

Everything around you was shaking violently, and Kix finally responded, “We’re under attack!”

Without wait, Rex diverted off the original path to aid his brothers. You all ran as quickly as you could despite the dark, dense plant life that hindered your movements. Once you made it over the ridge, you paused, taking in the battle.

Chaos. Chaos and mayhem. At the center of it all, was a tank in the shape of a centipede, marked with blue lights. It roared before slamming down, killing all soldiers under its massive body. 

“Get those rocket launchers down there! Move it troopers!” Rex commanded, pistols in hand and immediately running to aid the soldiers.

The blaster guns that ran down the centipede tanks back were firing in all directions, making it difficult to maneuver or navigate. Still, you managed to get close enough while remaining behind the cover of a massive tree and its roots.

One of the green shots hit Jumper’s AT-RT, killing him in a burst of neon flames.

Another name to your list.

“Watch out!” The ARF trooper next to you called as another tank shot up from the ground. He was hit almost instantly, knocking down from his vehicle. immediately your hands were on him and dragging him behind cover. 

“I got you, Dia.” you reassured, pulling off his helmet.

Pupils uneven. Head injury. Concussion. Watch for seizures or signs of stroke. Traumatic brain injuries were difficult to deal with in such a chaotic environment, but you did what you could with the supplies you have. 

One of the tanks swung its massive head, slamming into one of the troopers that had a much needed rocket launcher. He hit the ground, but curled his body to protect the precious weapon. Once the Umbaran tank turned to continue its destruction, Kix leapt out from the black and red foliage. Thank whatever gods decided to keep him alive!

He grabbed the trooper just as Hardcase got the rocket launcher. You rushed out to join him, taking hold of one of the troopers shoulders, “Follow me!” You shouted, leading the medic to your position of cover hidden in the dense trees. When you returned, there were already several more injured that were taking refuge.

Behind you, there was another explosion. The now headless tank roared before it melted into a screech. Its massive silver and blue body twisted and spasmed as every section burst into flames and destruction. You spotted Fives and Hardcase sprinting to avoid getting hit by its thrashing legs.

Rex called out, tone commanding yet anxious, “Everyone regroup, now! Take cover!” 

The platoons scattered, fleeing into the dark and foggy forest. Luckily the thick trunks and roots of the red, glowing trees were condensed enough the tanks couldn’t push through. 

“Move it! Move it!”

“Let's go!”

“Go! Go! Go!”

You swallowed and looked up at Rex. He was breathing heavily, but still standing. However, you didn’t miss the blood on his wrist. 

You reached into a small pack on your thigh and took out clean bandages as you approached. He would always opt for bandages and not bacta. At every battle, if he got hurt, he’d reject the medicine, saying ‘save it for the next soldier you treat.’ So you’ve learned to just accept his selflessness and use standard first-aid supplies if the wounds weren’t so bad.

“We’re safe for the moment, but they’ll be coming around any second,” He continued to lead the men, not stopping even when you grabbed his wrist and began to bandage it up, “Bring up the launchers, spread detonators along that corridor. Trap them in the bottleneck.” The captain nodded in appreciation once you finished your work. He continued, “We’re going to blow those things sky high.”

Fives rushed past you to a soldier, Hana, who carried explosives in a large pack. He grabbed several of the bombs before running with the other to the narrow part of the gorge. Several others followed the ARC trooper. 

You remained with the injured, just like Kix. Your focus was on the trooper, Hek, in your arms working to stem the bleeding on his chest. However, no matter what you tried, he slipped away under your hands.

Hek. One more death to blame on Krell.

Your priority shifted to Silk, who had sat down and waited patiently with a bleeding, smoldering neck and shoulder wound. Either he was the most patient man in existence, or mentally gone. It didn’t matter though, because you began to patch him up, using whatever you could to save him.

After a few moments, the ground shook violently again, causing you to hold him close to your chest to protect. From the direction of where the men placed bombs, you heard the booms and crackles of their explosives detonating. The tanks they destroyed howled and wailed as it sounded like they crashed into one another, ripping each other apart.

Soldiers had run back to your position to take cover from the resulting explosions. Hardcase dove to your right, getting behind the massive root protecting everyone from the fire. Rex, who was thrown from the force of the bombs, landed on his front right next to you and Silk. Fives and Jesse stumbled, also hitting the dirt after getting shoved by the burst of heat and flames. 

It was a few seconds later when your ears were blessed with silence. Seemed everyone was waiting for…something. Another attack? Or just appreciating the brief moment of calm.

The captain got onto one knee, turned his head to you, and his shoulders slumped slightly with relief, “Good job.” he stood, addressing his men, “Be ready to move out in five.”

Five minutes to rest.

Hardly enough time for you and Kix to tend to all those that were sporting injuries, but you could at least handle the more serious cases. And in those five minutes, despite your best efforts….

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Jumper. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo.

You added a few more names to the list of the dead.

[tleeaves]

Folks going "WHAT they made a show about the Fallout franchise?? I've been hearing people say Bethesda messed it up, but I haven't watched it myself, so I'm going to trust the word of other people -- some of which also haven't finished watching it" is driving me insane.

Being a hard core fan of something obviously brings with it a lot of passionate feelings when adaptations come into play. Of course, there's going to be people going "but in 8 episodes of the first ever season they made, they didn't explore Theme C or D, didn't introduce factions E and F and G, and because the source company is notorious for its scams, we and everyone else who's a TRUE fan should hate it".

The Amazon Original series Fallout follows the videogame franchise of the same name. It is a labour of love and you can tell by the attention to detail, the writing, the sets, and YES THE THEMES ARGUE WITH THE WALL. It's clearly fan service. I mean, the very characterisation of Lucy is a deadringer for someone playing a Fallout game for the first time. She embodies the innocent player whose expectations drastically change in a game that breaks your heart over and over again. Of course, she's also the vessel through which we explore a lot of themes, but I'll get to that.

There're some folks arguing that the show retcons the games, and I gotta say... for a website practically built on fandom culture, why are we so violently against the idea of someone basing an adaptation on a franchise that so easily lends itself to new and interesting interpretations? But to be frank, a lot of what AO's Fallout is not that new. We have: naive Vault dweller, sexy traumatised ghoul that people who aren't cowards will thirst over, and pathetic guy from a militaristic faction. We also have: total atomic annihilation, and literally in-world references to the games' lore and worldbuilding constantly (the way I was shaking my sister over seeing Grognark the Barbarian, Sugar Bombs, Cram, Stimpaks, and bags of RadAway was ridiculous). Oh, and the Red Rocket?? Best pal Dogmeat? I'm definitely outing myself as specifically a Fallout 4 player, but that's not the point you should be taking away from this.

The details, the references, and the new characters -- this show is practically SCREAMING "hey look, we did this for the fans, we hope you love it as much as we do". Who cares that the characters are new, they still hold the essence of ones we used to know! And they're still interesting, so goddamn bloody interesting. Their arcs mean so much to the story, and they're told in a genuinely intriguing way. This isn't just any videogame adaptation, this was gold. This sits near Netflix's Arcane: League of Legends level in videogame adaptation. Both series create new plots out of familiar worlds.

Of course, those who've done the work have already figured out AO's Fallout is not a retcon anyway. But even if it was, that shouldn't take away from the fact that this show is actually good. Not even just good, it's great.

Were some references a little shoe-horned in to the themes by the end of the show, such as with "War never changes"? Yes, I thought so. But I love how even with a new plot and characters, they're actually still exploring the same themes and staying true to the games. I've seen folks argue otherwise, but I truly disagree. The way capitalism poisons our world, represented primarily through The American Dream and the atomic age of the 45-50s that promoted the nuclear family dynamic -- it's there. If you think it's glorifying it by leaning so heavily into in the adaptation, I feel like you're not seeing it from the right angle. It's like saying Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck glorifies the American Dream, when both this book and the Fallout franchise are criticisms of it. If you think about it, the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout is a graveyard to the American Dream. This criticism comes from the plots that are built into every Fallout story that I know of. The Vaults are literally constructed to be their own horror story just by their mere existence, what they stand for, what happens in each of them. The whole entire show is about the preservation of the wrong things leading to fucked up worlds and people. The missions of the Vaults are time and again proven to be fruitless, unethical, plain wrong. Lucy is our brainwashed character who believed in the veritable cult she lived in before she found out the truth.

So then consider the Brotherhood of Steel. I really don't think it exists in the story to glorify the military. We see just how much the Brotherhood has brainwashed people like Max (also, anything ominously named something like "the Brotherhood" should raise eyebrows). Personally, I don't like Max, but I am intrigued by his characterisation. I thought the end of his arc was rushed the way he "came good" basically, but [SPOILERS] having him embraced as a knight in the Brotherhood at the end against his will -- finally getting something he always wanted -- and him grimly accepting it from all that we can tell? Him having that destiny forced upon him now that he's swaying? After he defected? If his storyline is meant to be a tragedy, it wouldn't surprise me, because Fallout is rife with tragedies anyway. And a tragedy would also be a criticism of the military. That's what Max's entire arc is. It goes from the microcosm focusing on the cycle of bullying between soldiers to the macro-environment where Max is being forced to continue a cycle of violence against humanity he doesn't want to anymore because a world driven to extremes forces him to choose it to survive (not to mention what a cult and no family would do to his psyche). Let's not forget what the Brotherhood's rules are: humankind is supreme. Mutants, ghouls, synths, and robots are abominations to be hated and destroyed. If you can't draw the parallels to the real world, you need to retake history and literature classes. The Brotherhood is also about preserving the wrong things, like the Vaults (like the Enclave, really). They just came about through different method. The Enclave is capitalism and twisted greed in a world where money barely exists anymore. The Brotherhood is, well, fascism plain and simple.

Are these the only factions in the Fallout franchise? Hell no. But if you're mad about that -- that they're the main ones explored, apart from the NCR -- I think you're missing the point. These themes, these reminders, are highly relevant in the current climate. In fact, I almost think they always will be relevant unless we undergo drastic change. On the surface-level, Fallout seems like the American ideal complete with guns blazing that guys in their basements jerk off to. Under that surface, is a mind-fuck story about almost the entire opposite: it's a deconstruction of American ideals that are held so closely by some, and the way that key notion of freedom gets twisted, and you're shooting a guy in-game because it's more merciful than what the world had in store for him.

I mean, the ghoul's a fucking cowboy from the wild west character he used to play in Hollywood glam and his wife was one of the people who helped blow up America in the name of capitalism and "peace". There are so many layers of this to explore, I'd need several days to try and keep track and go through it all.

The Amazon Prime show is a testament to the Fallout franchise. The message, the themes? They were not messed up or muddled or anything of the sort, in my opinion.

As for Todd Howard, that Bethesda guy, I'm sure there's perfectly valid reasons to hate him. I mean, I've hated people for a lot less valid reasons, and that's valid. We all got our feelings. But the show is about more than just him. My advice is to keep that in mind when you're judging it.

[xf-cases-solved]

i made more x-files words with my brain, wrote them down, and then put them on the internet for you to read and process into meaning with your own brain, if you're so inclined. cancer arc angst for those who are always sluts for s4 like me

click on the following link to consume my words: She Still Has Her Hair

[cw: suicidal ideation and descriptions of illness/hospitals/ivs/pain medication]

here's a snippet:

She hasn't lost her hair, and that's so much worse.

If she had lost her hair, maybe he would have noticed how bad things have gotten before now. 

Because that's what you think of when you think of cancer patients, right? You picture bald heads and missing brows above sunken, darkly circled eyes. You picture tears in the bathroom as the buzz of a razor shears away the remaining tufts among the patchy surface of a scalp. You picture each fallen strand as another inch marched toward a headstone. When you see a cancer patient with no hair, you know that they are Sick with a capital S. When a cancer patient with no hair shows symptoms of their illness, it doesn't come as a surprise.

However, Scully hasn't lost her hair, and so when she calls him at eleven fifteen on a Sunday night—voice a cracked windshield about to shatter into a million pieces, and a sob lodged in her throat like a chicken bone she can't cough up—he's taken by surprise.

He shouldn't be, but he is.

She still has her hair.

But "Mulder, it's me" has never sounded so frail before, and it terrifies him almost more than the voicemail she left on his answering machine two, nearly three years ago; the one that ended with the sounds of a physical fight filled with cries for help before being abruptly cut off, leaving nothing but horrible questions and no answers.

"What's wrong?" he asks. He'd been dozing on the couch with the lights of a muted infomercial dancing over his face, but at the sound of her voice he is instantly upright and alert. When she doesn't answer right away, he presses, more firmly, "Scully? What's wrong? "

"I was prescribed a new medication at my appointment Friday afternoon, and I can't..." Through the receiver he hears her take a steadying breath. "Supposedly this medication is meant to have a less nauseating effect on patients, but in roughly seven percent of cases, it has actually been shown to increase nausea in certain individuals, leading to severe emesis which eventually culminates in dehydration, presenting with symptoms such as dry mouth, lightheadedness, infrequent or oddly colored urine, confu—"

"And are you one of these patients in the seven percent?" Mulder asks, interrupting her clinical recitation that he suspects is her way of keeping herself detached from her own experience. Scully's silence is answer enough. "When was the last time you were able to keep something down?"

"I don't know," she says quietly.

"More than twelve hours?"

"Yes."

"More than twenty-four?" Nothing. "More than thirty-six?" She's silent. "Scully, you haven't been able to keep down food or water for over thirty-six hours?"

"It started early yesterday morning. Before sunrise, I think."

"Is it just vomiting? Is there anything else going on?"

"I..." She trails off, and Mulder suspects her innate desire to never show a shred of weakness to anyone (but especially him, for some godforsaken reason) is currently at war with the part of her that's spent the better part of two days all alone on the bathroom floor. 

"Tell me, Scully. Don't try to lie or sugarcoat it, just be honest."

"The medication, in conjunction with the physical act of vomiting, has led to a fairly severe case of myalgia—muscle pain—that began and is most prominent in the neck and upper back, but which has since spread to... to... oh God, Mulder"—the crack in her voice is heartbreaking—"it hurts everywhere. Everywhere . I'm in so much pain and I haven't taken a piss in over a day and every time I throw up my head pounds so hard my vision goes white. That's not hyperbole, Mulder, these headaches are quite literally blinding, and what if it's not the pain causing it? What if there's new tumor growth affecting my optic nerves, and this is just foreshadowing for what's yet to come? I don't want to go blind, Mulder, what am I going to do? I can't work if I'm blind. I can't do anything. I don't like the dark, and everything in my body hurts, and I just want it all to stop. Please help. Please help make it stop, Mulder, I hurt so bad." 

By the end of her venting, the sob that had been stuck in her throat has been set loose, and she's crying freely now, pouring out her heart in a way that would probably sound like full-blown bawling if she were strong enough. As it is, her weeping comes out in a strained wheeze, like the squeaky whistle of air sneaking through a small crack in the window when the car is speeding down a highway. 

"Please," she begs again, and the way she speaks reminds him of what it was like to wake up with a stomachache in the middle of the night as a kid and cry out for his mother. It reminds him how desperately afraid and alone he'd feel until his mother was finally roused by his calls, and padded into his room with sleepy eyes and a soft voice so as to not wake up his sister in the room next door.

Maybe, he thinks, it doesn't matter how old you are—that no matter what, being sick by yourself will always be your loneliest moment.

"I'm grabbing my keys right now, Scully, I'm on my way out the door." He jingles the ring of keys in his hand by the receiver of the phone so that she can hear their little chime and hopefully be comforted by it. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay," she whispers, no longer crying, but Mulder suspects it has more to do with a lack of physical strength than anything else.

"I'm gonna have to take you to the hospital," he warns. He's sure she expects as much, but it would be easier to get the fight out of the way now if she's going to be resistant.

It's a testament to how utter dogshit she must feel when she says nothing more than another melancholic, "Okay." Somehow, her agreeing to seek help scares him more than if she were refusing. 

"Hang tight, Scully," he tells her gently. "I'm coming."

[singularattitudeofasafetypin]

The Great War: Part 1

In The Heat of the Fight

Summary: During the battle to keep another planet from falling to the Separatists, Hunter and the squad are given a new mission. One that might have unintended consequences.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: None

A/N: This is gonna be a series, I hope you enjoy it!

Please don't copy my work

Fire rained down overhead. Hunter ducked behind the rocks, shielding his head. The ground shook and debris settled. Adrenaline coursing through his veins, he scrambled up the moment the dust began to clear, scanning the battlefield for sight of his brothers.

There was Tech... Echo, Wrecker... Crosshair! They were safe but there was no time to breathe. One second was life or death.

"Regroup!" he ordered, "Tech and Wrecker take the left flank, see if you can disable their cannons. Echo, you and me will take the right. Crosshair cover our assault!"

His brothers sprang into action, trusting his commands implicitly and without question. The droids toppled like dominos thanks to Crosshair's cover. Hunter and Echo drew the rest away, allowing Tech and Wrecker to slip through unnoticed. In ten seconds flat, the cannons powered down, groaning to a standstill.

Ten seconds, Hunter thought. Tech wouldn't be happy; his record was nine! Still, there wasn't time to worry. The battle wasn't won yet.

It was won fifteen minutes later when reinforcements arrived. Gunships obliterated the remaining droids and sent their tanks into frantic retreat. Hunter would be lying if he said he wasn't relieved. Every bone in his body seemed weighted down with exhaustion and his eyes ached with the threat of a migraine on the way.

The regs with their militaristic routine and order were already setting up camp. More gunships landed and soldiers filed out. As usual, Clone Force 99 stuck out like a sore thumb.

“Everyone alright?”

Hunter’s mask of leaderlike review hid a wealth of genuine concern. Four weeks they’d been stationed here with no promise of aid. He wasn’t sure how much longer they could have gone on. Dirt ridden and bruised as they were, no sign of injury. It was more than he could have hoped for.

“We made it through like we always do!” Wrecker grinned, nudging Crosshair’s shoulder with more force than intended.

“You almost gave away my position,” he bit back and Wrecker rolled his eyes.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

Hunter winced. Yeah, this was definitely gonna be a migraine. Echo shot him a look and took the lead. “Good work disabling those cannons, Tech!”

“Hardly, I could have beaten my record if Wrecker had not pulled the wrong wire!”

“You said the blue one!”

The battle hadn’t broken their spirits in the least. A grateful smile stretched Hunter’s mouth as he slipped away. Everyone was safe, reinforcements were here, now a dark room and a bunk were all he could think about.

“Sergeant?”

Hunter scrunched his eyes against the light. Oh, was it too much to ask? He turned. An ARC Commander was approaching, datapad in hand. More orders. Couldn’t they just rest?

“We’ll handle this front now Sergeant,” he said, tucking his helmet under his arm and pressing the datapad into Hunter’s palm. “Looks like you’re going up in the world!”

Through bleared eyes, he made out the illuminated words. His gaze shot up at once.

“What?”

*

“It makes no logical sense to assign us to the capital.” Even after Hunter had taken a well-deserved nap, Tech was still going round the same point, “There is no tactical advantage to station us so far from the front-.”

“It’s nowhere near the action!” Wrecker groaned. Crosshair flicked his toothpick at him; Wrecker swung and missed.

“Whatever they want, I’m sure it’s important,” Echo chided, ever the peacekeeper, “The royal family requested us specifically.” He eyed Hunter as he slid into the chair next to him and raised an eyebrow. “How’s the headache?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hunter heaved a sigh, “Getting there.”

“Well, take it easy,” Echo didn’t look convinced, “We’ve got half an hour before we arrive.”

“Technically twenty-eight minutes.”

Tech regretted the words as soon as they’d escaped him. After all they’d been through the last month, everyone needed a break—Hunter most of all. It was his quick thinking and heightened anticipation that had managed to keep them all safe.

Crosshair rummaged in his pack and tossed a canteen of water. Hunter caught it in his outstretched hand. Neither had made eye contact.

“Take care of yourself, Sarge,” Crosshair’s voice normally dripping with sarcasm, seemed softer, “You’re pushing yourself too hard.”

He nodded a thanks, drank deeply, and leant his head against the seatback with closed eyes. He could feel the squad exchange a look but none said a word. A hush fell over the cockpit ‘til only the Marauder’s thrumming engines could be heard. Wrecker eased a ration bar out of its wrapper as quietly as he could.

*

It felt more like ten minutes later when the ship touched down, Hunter didn’t miss the care Tech put into the landing, but at least he was starting to feel better. Tightening the straps on his armour, he checked and re-checked his gear. The squad stood to attention, no squabbling, no bickering, not a word. Maybe he should get a migraine more often!

Before they could read the notion in his eye, Hunter grabbed his helmet and opened the hatch.

From the dim ship’s interior, it was like stepping from night to day. Sunbeams streamed down from the cloudless blue, reflecting off of bright white marble and refracting through crystal glass. The palace rose before them, a lattice of towers and parapets, sweeping buttresses and exquisitely paned windows-stained gold and green. The sight was blinding, Hunter squinted against the glare, quickly averting his eyes to the approaching palace guard. The captain offered a hand and Hunter shook.

“Clone Force 99?”

“That’s us.” The captain gave a short nod and turned on his heel. “Any particular reason we’ve been called in, sir?”

Hunter’s question was met with a wooden,

“This way.”

*

The palace halls were somehow more dazzling than their exterior. Light glittered in green and gold fractals across the echoing marble floors. The captain led them wordlessly into the throne room, as wide and spacious as a dreadnaught’s hangar hung with rich silk banners and sparkling chandeliers.

Seated on the ornate throne at the end of the room, the Grand Duke of Juunath was the picture of nobility but the toll the war had already taken on his rule weighed visibly in the lines of his face.

The captain saluted and the clones followed his lead. The Duke didn’t show that he’d noticed. Beneath his helmet, Hunter frowned. Instead of addressing them, the stone-faced ruler seemed to stare through the squad, Hunter noted his white knuckles on the arm of the throne.

“In the wake of this war reaching our system,” the captain began abruptly, “And in the hopes of pressuring Juunath to surrender, the Separatists have issued a threat against the royal family.”

Here he paused.

“What kind of threat?” Hunter asked, uncertain still of the mission they had been sent to fulfil.

“A threat against the Grand Duke’s daughter.” A spasm constricted the Duke’s mouth for a split second. “You have been enlisted to protect her.”

Hunter sensed the intake of breath behind him, he could picture all his brother’s faces in his mind’s eye. A protection job? Those were rare for regs, and even rarer for them!

“Why us?” the question slipped out before he could stop it, impertinent as it was. The captain’s eyes flashed dangerously. “This place seems pretty well guarded, why do you need us?”

The Grand Duke stood.

“You are experimental Clone Force 99, aren’t you?” the query rang rhetorically around the chamber. “I have been assured you are more capable than an army.” He stepped down from the dais, keeping his eyes locked with Hunter’s visor. “I want an army protecting my daughter, Sergeant.”

And Hunter saw it. Beneath the rigid mask of dignity, Hunter saw the maddening terror of a man whose child was in danger. He lowered his gaze and held his tongue.

*

“These are the best bunks we’ve ever had!”

Wrecker didn’t complain that his legs would’ve hung over the edge. Well accustomed to the world being too small for him, he revelled in the soft padded mattress and clean sheets. Hunter had to agree. Thought he didn’t doubt they were nothing compared to the resplendent beds in the guest rooms, as barracks went, this was by far the most luxurious they’d seen.

With little in the way of unpacking, Hunter sat on the edge of his bed and took a moment to breathe and assess the charge they’d been given. This had the potential to be a very tricky task or an excruciatingly long stay.

At least the squad were comfortable.

Crosshair had already stolen Lula and Tech was tinkering with the lights over his bunk. Oh yeah, they were settling in nicely.

They reported on time for their scheduled orientation of the palace thanks to Echo’s impeccable time-management.

Fortunately, this palace was old. Juunath’s history was fraught with war, despite its more recent reputation for peace and exploring the arts. Behind its shimmering façade, this was a fortress designed to be defendable. It was always a comfort to have the walls on your side.

Even the garden they trod through now, though light and airy, had clear points of defence and multiple exits, some more obvious than others.

No doubt Tech was recording the countless twists and turns meant to confuse an enemy and would have a holomap constructed by evening, so Hunter wasn’t clinging too hard to the captain’s spiel.

Something else had caught his attention.

He wasn’t sure at first; the ghost of his migraine could still be messing with his senses but now he was certain. The familiar heartbeats of his brothers thumped in rhythm in their usual positions at his side, their footsteps and breaths almost white noise to his accustomed ears. Ahead, the new micro expressions of the palace guard were rapidly blending into the background.

But there was one more heartbeat in the garden.

One he had yet to lay eyes on.

He threw a discreet glance over the leaves and lilies but saw no one. He heard her catch their breath. She was young, curious, afraid of discovery, but not a threat.

Leaves rustled imperceptibly somewhere off to the right and she were gone. Probably just a gardener but a smile tugged at Hunter’s mouth and he wasn’t sure why.

Echo nudged him.

“You will meet the princess after they have dined.” At this point, the captain faced them, his expression more unyielding than ever. “You are not to make her aware of the threats against her life, nor are you to disrupt her regular routine, or do anything to frighten her by order of the Grand Duke.”

Not tell her? Hunter interjected, “With respect, sir. She’ll have questions-.”

“Do I make myself clear, Sergeant?”

Cold as iron was his tone. This was not a matter up for debate and the look in the captain’s eye reminded Hunter forcefully of the rank he held.

“Yes, sir.”

*

“Don’t think the palace guard are very pleased to have us around,” Crosshair mused, cleaning his rifle and checking the scope.

Tech looked up from his data pad and grimaced, “When is anyone?”

Before long, the summons came and the five clones trooped down the darkening hallways. The lowering sun turned reflections from gold and emerald to bronze and olive. The hum of after-dinner conversation wafted toward them with the scent of the sumptuous meal already enjoyed.

Hunter stopped short.

It was her. Just like in the garden. The same heartbeat.

“What is it?” Echo stepped closer, already braced for action. So were the others, as attuned to Hunter as he was to everything else.

“Nothing,” he stammered, shaking his head, “It’s nothing.”

Before they could argue, he pressed forward.

The dining room expanded, lit by flickering lanterns and rich laughter. The Grand Duke sat at the head, entertaining a handful of delegates and courtesans. He caught sight of the clones and his smile waned. Standing and dispensing a few words of polite dismissal, he watched the company filter into another room and heaved a sigh. Only one member of the party remained, she stood at his side.

The Duke motioned for them to approach and forced his features into a nonchalant expression. “Well darling, these are the clones I told you about.”

The princess turned and Hunter’s heart skipped a beat.

She smiled graciously and bowed her head in greeting. Her eyes were intelligent and calculating but something kept them from meeting his gaze. It was probably for the best; at the present moment it was all Hunter could do to keep at attention. For once, he was grateful for his helmet.

“As I said, they’ll be acting as your personal security from now on-”

“But you still haven’t told me why!” She interrupted. Her voice was sweet but an incredulous note warped its melody. “Has something happened that you aren’t telling me?”

Her father enveloped her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Everything is fine, but you can never be too careful.”

He went on to explain how one of the soldiers would be accompanying her everywhere she went as an added precaution, there was a war on after all, but her eyes scanned each member of the squad in turn and Hunter couldn’t help but feel she was drawing her own conclusions.

“There will be a security briefing tomorrow morning but I’m sure you’ll hardly notice the difference!” The Duke concluded, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

The princess smiled and Hunter’s heart started again.

“Hardly!”

***

Part Two

Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please leave a comment and let me know if you’d like to be tagged when/if I write more Hunter stuff.

Love you guys!

Tags: @clonethirstingisreal

[fataldrum]

The Magnus Protocol and The End of History

In episode 21 of TMP, Leonardo Kennings, co-treasurer of the Magnus Institute, debates the Institute’s plan to participate in the London Millennium Exhibition.  

The calculations provided by Dr Welling and his team presuppose that any outputs from the site will be broadly balanced; that as a symbol of the future it captures both optimism and despair – the belief in a better world and the terror that a new millennium will bring nothing except new ways to suffer. It is my belief, however, that the actual balance of energies involved will be profoundly skewed towards the fearful and despairing[…]

This modern social and political order, following the fall of the USSR, has taken root in the popular imagination as a natural and final state of society with an emergent and inherent stability. The turning of the millennium is therefore felt as an “end of history” to borrow a term, and in this context the Dome may be seen as a monument to this order. A full stop. 

I’ve been hearing a lot about The End of History lately and wanted to share some information for those who are unfamiliar. Note that this is based on secondary sources like Philosophy Tube and the podcast If Books Could Kill, because I’m not about to read 400+ pages of a neoconservative being deeply wrong about everything.

In 1992, political scientist Francis Fukuyama wrote The End of History and The Last Man. In it, he makes a pretty bold claim: Western liberal democracy is the final stage of society. After the recent collapse of the Soviet Union, people worldwide would accept capitalism and American-style democracy as the objectively superior way of life. 

Once every country adopted liberal democracy, there would be no real need for major social change. Small events would continue to happen, but the overall shape of history is an arc that ends with liberal democracy. Everything else would just be minor adjustments. That’s it, guys, we won. History is canceled!

Admittedly the word end can be a bit deceptive. On one level, Fukuyama was describing liberal democracy as the final destination of society. But he was also using end in the sense of a goal, borrowing from the works of Hegel. 

I don’t need to tell you that Fukuyama was full of shit. Every major event since 9/11 has been a massive callout post for him specifically. To be fair, he wasn’t alone in his bullshit. Plenty of Western political scientists assumed the fall of the Soviet Union would lead to mass adoption of liberal democracy. 

There was a lot of misplaced optimism at the end of the Millennium. Take, for instance, the Millennium Dome in London.

A massive undertaking, this 48-acre building would cost £789 million and be the ninth largest building in the world. Tony Blair, the Prime Minister at the time, declared confidently that it would be "a triumph of confidence over cynicism, boldness over blandness, excellence over mediocrity." Critics called it a Museum of Toxic Waste, based on the site’s history as a gasworks. 

The Dome contained 14 zones aiming to depict modern British life. There was a concert by Peter Gabriel. There were daily acrobatic shows, and a special Blackadder film.

In the statement, Kenning asks the foreman how long the Dome will last. He went quiet for a moment, then told me he wasn’t sure. “Could be there forever!” he said, with an odd manic edge to his voice. “Or it could be gone in a year. You just… never know. Do you? You never know what’s coming.” 

Organizers predicted the Dome would bring in 12 million visitors per year. They got just over half that. It was closed after a year, and even then, it cost over £1 million per month to maintain. The government couldn’t even sell the damn thing, because who needs the world’s ninth largest building? It ruined a fair number of careers. To quote the Sunday Times: 

At worst it is a millennial metaphor for the twentieth century. An age in which all things, like the Dome itself, became disposable. A century in which forest and cities, marriages, animal species, races, religions and even the Earth itself, became ephemeral. What more cynical monument can there be for this totalitarian cocksure fragile age than a vast temporary plastic bowl, erected from the aggregate contribution of the poor through the National Lottery. Despite the spin, it remains a massive pantheon to the human ego, the Ozymandias of its time.

Kennings describes the Dome as “almost uniquely dangerous to our work as a place of power, adding, “It is my firm belief that not only is this site already on its own journey to become a decidedly hostile locus, but that the future it represents, and that we are being pushed to incorporate into our grand ritual, is unfit being so profoundly and irrevocably poisoned.”

The Magnus Institute burned down on December 24th, 1999. The Dome was officially opened to the public on December 31, 1999. It appears Kennings was right about one thing: the Dome was a very bad idea for the Magnus Institute.

[iitodoiidas]

got a bit of time tonight, so i want to ramble about my boy Iida Tenya, and my own thoughts and feelings about the manga's ending.

this is long, LONG, and rambly and perhaps filled with grammatically incorrect sentences, and i dislike capitalization, so click read more at your peril!!!!

---

as an Iida fan, the ending of the manga is a huge, HUGE let down. i'm actually expecting to be disappointed tbh, with the slow and steady pushing of Iida as a character off to the side to make way for the Midoriya-Bakugou-Todoroki power trio.

and you know, i get it! thematically, they are the inheritors of All Might and his spirit of Heroism. and they deserve the spotlight too, given how much they grew as characters vs the start of the story.

(((

i'm not a big Bakugou fan (tho i find him v funny at times, like how you'd find a rabid racoon funny) , but his character arc is very satisfying for me as a reader. love that even in the end he's still a lil shit ahha! but the way he initiated and funded the whole armor thing for Midoriya means he's still trying to atone for all the shit he did in their past. which! good on him tbh.

Todoroki, my sweet summer child, has been abused physically, and emotionally suffered enough all his life, and i'm so glad he's on the path of healing now, and also away from his dad's shadow too.

Midoriya… hmm, personally, i would have preferred for him to have remained a teacher instead of going back to heroics. it would have been a great call back to the original premise of the story that questions "can a boy with no super power become a hero too?", because the answer will be "yes!" because you know damn well he'll be looked up to by every class he handles. and given his expertise upon analyzing quirks, think of how valuable his battle advice and tactics must be, especially to kids who are just beginning to understand their quirks!

generations of student heroes, learning from his battle/fight strategies, his ideals on heroism, and most importantly his kindness and desire to help people, and then putting those values in practice in the real world. wouldn't that be a great way on how you begin to establish a truly peaceful society?

)))

but… Iida. i think... Iida's been left behind by the story by the end of it.

i almost didn't include this pic bc it offends me so much. like why is my boy banished off to the corner!? HE DESERVES A SPOT ON THAT COUCH TOO GDI!!

bias aside, you cannot tell me that Iida's contribution to story isn't IMMENSE. he is very much essential to Midoriya's growth as a hero and Todoroki's path to healing (and Bakugou's... as a classmate and a non-dear friend lmaoooo) that neither would be possible without Iida's presence and influence.

Iida (and Uraraka) being the first to offer friendship to a very insecure Midoriya, and how important Iida reaching out his hand again to Midoriya was again later on when Midoriya needed help the most; Iida reminding Todoroki of himself when Iida's going down a dark and dangerous path away from his ideals, saving him, and then being saved in turn, because of how well they relate to and understand each other. Iida being the foundation of their entire class, the way he's offered steadfast support to every one of them.

just... sighhhhh...... we didn't even hear his graduation speech as a senior? i like Mirio well enough, and i also get that the war's just happened before they graduated which is a bummer sure and that needs to be addressed, but i feel like we also deserve parting words from OUR student representative. it would have been a nice send off too to the Class A as we know them, by having their class president acknowledge their efforts and hard work.

and then... the timeskip.

---

sighhhhhhh.................

ok i'll get to timeskip Iida later.

i've mentioned before how utterly wasteful i find it that Hori didn't flesh out the Iida family, as a foil against the Todoroki's.

like you have these boys from two families, similarly deeply rooted in the hero culture but with such highly contrasting upbringing. on one hand you have the Todoroki's, led by the no. 2 hero of all of Japan, who bc of ambition, had abused and traumatized all members of his small, nuclear family. and on the other, a multi-generational family of heroes, not high enough in the rankings, but successful enough to be known and respected by most of the population (also they're def super loaded too, like they have a damn BUILDING with their signature hero name!!!)

Tensei's presence in the story was underutilized too. here you have a well-known, well-liked hero who was established to have a team of sidekicks who work well together (as per Vigilantes). how interesting it would have been to have Tensei (and the Iida fam) to appear again in the story just as the hero society is collapsing? this family who made it their identity and business to help and save people as quickly and efficiently as possible? like... how could they have dealt with the fallout of the common people no longer trusting them and being actively hostile against known heroes?

knowing what we do about Tensei though, i doubt this will stop him. he'll for sure still be trying to help out people in need, even if he's already retired and while wheelchair-bound. which i also think is super unfair btw like we have Mirko with her super cool prosthetics, why can't Tensei have robot-assisted legs too??? and that's considering the Iida family who seem to primarily have mobility/tech hybrid based quirks, for sure they must have a team of tech experts specializing on mobility on hand as well????

imagine Tensei calling Tenya up one day saying he's got a surprise for his bb bro! and Tenya comes over all curious and stuff, and then Tensei greets him standing up with prosthetics, with a design that is inspired by Tenya's own leg-Engine quirk. then Tensei goes to explain that even if Tenya keeps saying that Tensei is his hero, Tensei would also like to declare that the new Ingenium is his hero, whom he'd like to honor with the design, and that someone he'd hope to work with in the future, even as a civilian background support. and in a few moments after that sinks in, Tenya will just bawl his eyes out (and then Tensei joins in in a bit bc let's be real these brothers adore each other v much)

and also..... i keep thinking what a reunion it would have been if Stain himself could have witnessed that "altruism" is well and truly alive, not only from the younger, but also from the elder Ingenium, both of whom he'd failed to kill?

siggggghhhhhhhh......

---

anyways, back to Iida Tenya. (i'll use Tenya now to refer to him, since i'll also mention Tensei a lot.)

i mentioned Tensei and the Iida fam first, bc somehow i thought we'd see a glimpse of them again before the manga ends. like an acknowledgement that Tenya had indeed proven himself worthy of the Ingenium name. wishful thinking, considering Inko (main character's mom!!!!!!) wasn't even given the chance to comfort and acknowledge her son (the main character!!!!!) as a hero as to what he has gone through to save their whole society!

anyways, so the last we see of Tenya, he's working with others, touring elementary schools, and spreading awareness and expanding quirk counseling headed by Uraraka. it's a noble pursuit yes, and beneficial too, if it could help kids with misunderstood quirks like Toga. but i can't help but feel Tenya's talents and skills could have been better put elsewhere.

like... rebuilding the Team IdaTen for example.

now, everything from this point on is all wishful thinking on my part, as an Iida Tenya fan who loves his character and story arc, and thinks he deserves a better ending.

Team IdaTen, as per Vigilantes manga, comprises of Sidekicks working under Ingenium, and their credo is (not verbatim, sorry) "to come to people's aid as quickly as possible". And this is a credo that Tenya has taken to heart, and is the core of his heroism. As the inheritor of the Ingenium name, isn't it a logical conclusion to have him step up as the new leader of the team?

in an Iida-led manga, maybe Tenya's challenge for this is how to prove himself as a capable leader amongst his brother's veteran Sidekicks. For sure they already know Tenya as their former leader's baby brother, but how about as a leader? maybe some of them won't be able accept Tenya as a replacement, being too loyal or different from his older brother.

or... is there stil even Team IdaTen? maybe many of them quit when Tensei retired, maybe some got disillusioned and quit too during the collapse of hero society. and for sure many of them also died or got injured during the war.

Tenya's goal could be to search and recruit his own Team IdaTen, a team which specializes as first responders. like if there's any disaster or accident, you'd be sure Team IdaTen is first on the scene!! they'd be helping who they can, and relay info to other responding heroes and other pros.

hmmm..... maybe that can explain Tenya's presence in Uraraka's advocacy to improve the quirk counseling? maybe he's recruiting potential, future Team IdaTen members. he'd be on the look out for speed-based, or mobility-based quirks, but would also be welcoming of other types for sure! the only important thing is their desire to help people and that they agree to the Ingenium credo, which is saving people takes priority out of everything.

and yknow, maybe this is also his way to help curb Vigilantism, which is another problematic issue in a hero society, and help set people on a more lawful path into becoming proper heroes. like how Tensei tried to recruit Koichi after seeing his potential and desire to help without having the means. it would have been a great callback to the values Tensei had inspired on Tenya, which he would then be able to pass on to a new set of heroes/sidekicks he'd lead as a team.

siiighhhhhhh.......

okk i'm running out of steam now. i will just continue being sad over Iida's wasted storylines for the foreseeable future. ( ; ^ ; ) </3

[llovelymoonn]

i'm going on uni exchange to france this august to december - does anyone have any suggestions for where i should go while there?

i'll be near paris so anywhere that's easy to get from there (and cheap too haha). i like history/museums and also natural attractions, i'm a trail runner so hikes, national park recommendations etc. would be awesome. i'd also love some more 'off the beaten path' recommendations but also want to cross off a lot of the big sights too (i've been to the colosseum, st peter's basilica, ponte vichio, galleria dell'accademia, berlin wall/east side gallery, buckingham palace, big ben, umm those are the only ones i can think of off the top of my head lol). i'm not interested in skiing/snowboarding and i'm coeliac so most foodie experiences are off the table unfortunately.

i really want to see more of france (have been to paris before and done some of the 'big sights' like the eiffel tower, arc de triomphe, galerie lafeyette, the louvre etc., basically most of the typical paris sights), a goal of mine is to see all the capitals (if that's the right word) of every french state (province?).

i speak german and am really keen to get back to germany so any recommendations there would be great too.

i've been to berlin, munich, frankfurt (only really the airport though lol), leipzig, hannover, dresden, rome, florence, venice, verona, vienna, salzburg (hardly saw as i just got out of hospital the day before we got there lmao i spent the whole time we were there in bed so would defo love to get back here, liked the tiny bit of it i saw), paris, reims, amsterdam, london, cambridge, budapest -- am pretty keen to get back to these places but also want to see new cities/countries too. i'm australian so unless i move to europe i'll have never have an opportunity like this again too, am pretty keen to see places like andorra, luxembourg, czechia etc. really just anywhere i can get to.

thank youse ❤️❤️

[blorb-el]

Don’t know if you made a post on this but what’s your opinion on DCAU Clark and how unapproachable(?) they made him in the later JL/JLU series without ever resolving it? Like I know the Cadmus arc hinges on him never considering himself a possible threat but it seems there was room for no much introspection outside a couple moments (that were later backtracked).

I've had like 6 half finished posts about this buried deep in the drafts for a year because I have capital B Brain Rot about this, but every time I tried to write it out I got six sentences in and wanted to rewatch the entire DCAU in order to get my facts straight. This time I'm resisting the urge, so forgive me if I forget specific episodes

Also, unfortunately for you, it’s nanowrimo, which means my brain is in Type All The Words Mode, and not Communicate Effectively and Succinctly Mode, and also I need a break from WSBF chapter 8, so. You’re getting a 3.5k essay sort of answering this question but not really. you will see

Thank you to my fellow lawyer for the defense of Rectangle Clark @januariat for helping to put this together

I do rewatch STAS and JL a fair amount, but much less JLU, so I actually don’t have much to say about the specific execution there. I’m planning on rewatching it soon. But for now…

To me it boils down to two answers. The Doylist answer, and what I think the writers really did have in mind, is that they came up with the Cadmus plot, knew it was an absolute banger of a storyline, and decided that it was worth compromising Superman's personality in order to write a good story. which is not something I can fault them for - as a fanfic writer, I make the same calculated tradeoffs every time I set out to write a fic. Characters are tools for narrative, even if these particular characters come with an additional weight of the tradition of collaborative storytelling that their most effective stories honor.

However, I do think it’s possible to, post-hoc, cobble together a Watsonian, narratively satisfying (if fucked up and sad) character arc for DCAU Clark if you also take STAS and JL into account. I think the key to understanding his character arc is his relationship with control. Throughout STAS, JL, and JLU, and then one more time in Batman Beyond for good measure, over and over again, he's manipulated and his powers and body are used as resources for other people. Obviously that’s not much of an excuse for becoming more authoritarian/overbearing/etc, Fascism Is Bad and I personally think a more IC superman would retreat more than double down (as in Kingdom Come), but looking at the totality of things that have happened to him before Cadmus, it's a little more understandable why he'd get close to snapping under the strain. Here's my personal reading of his arc, and the events that might have led to Clark behaving so irrationally in JLU.

cut for sheer length, but also mentions of manipulation, sexual assault, victim blaming, that sort of thing

One of the recurring themes in the DCAU is villains dehumanizing, depowering, and/or manipulating Clark. In STAS, Parasite, Lex via Bizarro, Talia and Ra’s al Ghul use him as a source for their own power. The Preserver and Maxima treat him like some exotic prize, disregarding his wishes. Jax-Ur and Mala use him and then betray him. But the most impactful, by far, is Darkseid.

In Apokolips Now, Darkseid defeats Clark, puts his bleeding body into public stocks, and drags him through the middle of Metropolis. Clark’s only rescued by the last minute intervention of the New Gods, and as a parting shot Darkseid murders Clark’s friend in front of everyone. Even though Clark prevents Earth from turning into Apokolips, it’s a huge emotional loss, and they don’t shy away from showing his rage and helplessness. But it’s when Darkseid returns in Legacy, the finale of STAS, that Clark’s life truly takes a turn for the worse.

Forgive me if this is all plot recap to you, anon, but I feel like a lot of people don’t know that STAS ends with Clark being mind controlled, heavily implied to be sexually assaulted, and forced to try to take over the Earth, killing god knows how many people in the process. When the military finally brings him down with a Kryptonite warhead and imprisons him, they nearly kill Supergirl in the process. Then Lex almost gives him a lethal injection, with a US general looking on, implying that the government approves of killing him. Lois breaks him out, he tries to get help for Kara from Dr. Hamilton, and then goes to Apokolips. Most fights in STAS have him shrug off blows. He ends this one bleeding from his mouth, looking almost dead. When he finally casts down Darkseid, tells the Hunger Dogs (the slaves on Apokolips) that they’re free… they turn away from Superman. They cluster around Darkseid to protect and heal him.

Those universal truths of a lot of Superman stories, that goodness and liberty and the American Way* always win? They don't in STAS. A representative of the US government (as far as he knows) has tried to kill him. He lost his temper and spoke in a harsh tone of voice once, because Kara was dying and he was hurt and desperate, and now his friend Dr. Hamilton, the man he trusted to repair the Kryptonian ship, study his body and his powers, one of the people who knew him best in STAS, is afraid of him - and, as we find out later, takes immediate, drastic, and violating action against Kara and against him. The series ends with the small town man standing on the roof of the Planet, hearing people hate and fear him, wondering how people will ever trust him again.

*I hate this phrase personally when used as a Superman Motto, but it's used here as a contrast to the fascistic imagery of Apokolips Now and Legacy (as well as Brave New World, which, hoo boy, we aren’t even getting into that one).

Six months (iirc) after the STAS finale, in Secret Origins, the US government has agreed to let a visibly older and wearier Superman help disarm the nuclear stockpile - only for this to backfire on him because it was a Plot by the White Martians. Clark’s let down the country again. He’s helped aliens invade again, and to make matters worse, he sped away in the middle of an attack to break into an official government facility to free J'onn. Clark founds the Justice League beginning from a place of personal failure, as a check on himself. Clark has power and wants to help people with it, but he’s been turned against people he cares about, and has twice now failed to protect the world. It’s worth noting that Legacy put him into the world stage; before, in STAS, I can’t think of any true worldwide threats besides maybe Jax-Ur and Mala.

Most of the rest of season 1 of JL isn’t particularly Clark-focused, although he does appear in a lot of episodes, but the themes of some of these episodes are potentially relevant to understanding his character later, so: brief bullet point summaries.

During In Blackest Night, Clark sees his respected colleague turn himself into an authority that turns out to be incompetent investigators looking for a scapegoat. Interesting. Surrendering to governmental authority/oversight didn’t turn out too well here. 

During The Enemy Below, on Clark’s advice, Aquaman tries to solve his problems peacefully with diplomacy and is immediately shot in a life threatening assassination attempt.  Peaceful diplomacy doesn't work so well for him.

During Injustice for All, Lex is dying of cancer. Clark tries to reach out and is rebuffed, with Lex going on to try to found a team to kill him and the rest of the League.

During Paradise Lost, Clark sees his respected colleague turn herself into the authorities and immediately get banished from her home for the crime of trying to save it with all the resources she had at her disposal. Interesting. Surrendering to governmental authority/oversight didn’t turn out too well here, again. 

During War World, Clark’s again captured for exploitation. This is essentially a retread of The Main Man from STAS, doubling down on how some people see him as a thing to be exploited.

During Fury, Clark’s completely ineffective at preventing an attempted genocide of half the world’s population.

Season 2 opens with Twilight, one of the most important episodes for understanding Clark’s mindset during the Cadmus arc. Imagine, if you will, the above happening to you. Darkseid shows up at your workplace. And the man you’ve worked with the longest, your friend, your ally, tells you to cry him a river, build him a bridge, and get over it. Tells you to get over being brainwashed, manipulated, and humiliated. Tells you to get over having your broken and bleeding body paraded around the streets of Metropolis, tells you to get over having your friend killed in front of you for trying to defend you, tells you to get over almost getting your cousin killed. Sure, Brainiac is a planetary-scale threat; Darkseid and Apokolips are in real trouble. Clark was wrong to write off Apokolips and its people, and the League should absolutely have intervened in the situation. But the way Bruce went about it was… one of the harshest things DCAU Bruce has ever done, and one of the only times the narrative seems to actually agree that he was an asshole about it. And even then, you really need the context of STAS to understand why Clark is so furious and hurt in this scene.

Clark relents and goes along with Bruce’s plan to trust Darkseid, only to end up betrayed again, the whole ruse just another ploy for Brainiac to gain control of Clark, torture him, and use Clark’s body to upgrade himself. Clark had spared Darkseid back on Apokolips at the end of Legacy, on Kara’s advice. But now Darkseid’s come after him, again. Used him again to put not only Earth but who knows how many other worlds at risk, now that Brainiac’s even more powerful. It’s the downfall of Krypton, over and over again. And when Clark goes to end it, I think he doesn’t care that the base is about to go, as long as Darkseid goes down with it. That isn’t a price Bruce is willing to pay, so he teleports Clark out. And he’s wrong, again. “No one could have survived that.” Well… no, Bruce. Darkseid does, and Clark knows it.

During Tabula Rasa, Lex manipulates Amazo the exact way he tried to use Bizarro. Clark once again fails to guard against a terrible, potentially world-ending threat, and in fact makes the situation worse by his very presence.

Then we come to Only a Dream, another key episode in understanding this version of Superman. Clark’s deepest fear is that his powers will keep on growing beyond his ability to control them, eventually destroying everything around him. In his nightmare He kills Lois and Jimmy, destroys the Daily Planet, and grows into a brutish, hulking, clumsy figure, first crying out for someone to help him, and then losing hope. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He goes back to the Kent farm and curls up in the spaceship in the fetal position, convinced that he’s only going to hurt anyone who tries to help. Is it any wonder, since that’s literally what’s happened to him in Legacy? Is it any wonder that he’d want to give up, to retreat? If we’re to take the World of Cardboard speech literally, he’s already having to focus on this restraint every day, in every interaction. This is my personal explanation/hc as to why in every single fight he lets himself get knocked around a bit first; he’s calibrating how hard he can hit back without doing irrevocable damage. Anyway. Deeply fucked up 2 minutes of horror. Wish they’d explored this a little bit more in later seasons.

Then, directly after this, it’s A Better World. After we’ve just seen that his worst nightmare is hurting people by being unable to control his powers, we come face to face with a world where he’s hurt people by the precise and controlled application of his powers. Justice Lord Clark uses the same Superman Robots we saw Kara use in Legacy. He’s become quite adept at his lobotomization techniques. Later on in JLU, we see ‘our’ universe’s Clark attempt to lobotomize Doomsday the exact same way Justice Lord Superman did. Again, Clark fails to protect the world from himself, and to make matters worse, the guy to save the day is Lex Luthor. I’d be a little miffed if the maniac who wants to kill me so so bad turned out to be instrumental in saving the world and now I owe him some unspecified favor in the future. Clark’s met with failure and distrust trying to fix things his way, now he tries to do things in an uncharacteristically sneaky way and… gets met with more dislike and distrust.

Eclipsed continues this trend of hurting his friends; he’s temporarily mind controlled and hurts Wally.

In The Terror Beyond, he fucks up and puts the world in danger again, all because from his point of view, he tried to prevent Solomon Grundy being manipulated and used (like he himself has been used over and over again).

In Secret Society, his frustration comes to a peak, amplified by Grodd’s telepathic manipulation. He’s been trying to do his best, but he snaps that he’s had better luck fighting armies alone (dubious plural there, but he did pretty much evaporate an army in Legacy, so at least once, ok) and that he’s had to hold back his abilities in order to be on the League. Again if we take the World of Cardboard speech at face value, this is true, and we see it in the episode when he accidentally hurts Shayera with heat vision despite shouting a warning beforehand. It’s also telling how other members of the League have the ability to constantly voice doubts about its usefulness and cohesiveness as an organization (hi Bruce) but when he expresses the same doubts everyone gasps. When he expresses his doubt and frustration, when he steps away, the organization that’s collectively saved the world several times falls apart; they’re reliant on him, and he has to be aware of the entire existence of the League as an extra burden of responsibility.

Since both this episode and the Cadmus arc as a whole are meant to show his flaws as a leader, it’s worth examining the foundations of that leadership as established in the DCAU. Clark’s the leader of the League, but narratively, Bruce is its brains and its ethics and Wally is its heart. As a result, Clark is filling the role of leader of the League without the narrative scaffolding that gives him the respect comics incarnations of the character are generally accorded. (I’m admittedly only drawing here from the JLA runs I’ve personally read, Morrison/Porter 90’s JLA and the early Fox/Sekowsky 60’s JLA). Superman might not technically be the First Superhero according to these continuities, but he is respected as though he is (and as we comic book nerds know him to be). The League in these comics treat him as something of an ethical standard bearer, a primus inter pares, as well as being the muscle. In the DCAU, Batman, having founded the DCAU with BTAS, is the First Superhero, and the entire plotline of the Justice Lords centers Wally as the emotional anchor of the team. Clark doesn’t have that pre-established stature. What really qualifies him to be the leader, besides the fact that Bruce doesn’t want to do it? His position seems precarious, relying more on Superman’s pre-established reputation than his actual onscreen characterization. Centering Bruce and Wally are legitimate creative choices I don’t even necessarily disagree with, but it means Clark-as-leader functions quite differently than more traditional JL structures.

Hereafter is something of a healing point for him. It’s a little fucked up that Superman almost bashes Vandal Savage’s head in with a rock, but you take what you can get at this point. He comes out of it fine, but everyone else is forced to reckon with what he means to them. Hereafter coming directly after Secret Society is a very good reunification for the League. Shame about what’s gonna happen in three episodes.

In Wild Cards, he’s useful to address the immediate threat but ineffective to stop the real, countrywide (worldwide?) threat. (I should note that of course I don’t expect every episode’s threat to be solved by Clark; I’m just pointing out a trend that I think his character would perceive as failures on his part. If the writers ever let him reflect.)

JL ends as it began, with another massive alien invasion that Clark helped facilitate in Starcrossed, by working with the Thanagarians during the first part of their plan. As a fellow exile, a fellow alien, he’s hurt and angry with Shayera’s betrayal… even though, in the end, in probably one of his best moments, he votes to allow her to stay in the League.

(Sidenote: almost every interaction Clark has had with other aliens have been despotic societies or individuals: Jax-Ur and Mala, Apokolips, Maxima’s planet, War World, and now Thanagar. The Guardians built robotic police/foot soldiers to enforce their will. Even New Genesis is ruled by a benevolent dictator. Martian society is nearly extinct, overrun by… more alien despots, surviving only with J'onn. Argoan society is nearly extinct, surviving only with Kara. At least Lobo isn’t a fascist? Small consolation.)

JLU begins after a short time skip. I’m not as familiar with JLU episodes since it’s been a while since I’ve watched them, so I’m not going to attempt an episode-by-episode breakdown. Also this post is already way too long. But the point of this post is to look at Clark’s overall arc until this point, and see how it informs his decisions in JLU. For a more JLU-specific informed point of view check this post by januariat!

What we have is a man who naturally wants to take responsibility on his own shoulders, a doer and a fixer who wants to get into the ring and solve problems, who wants to use his abilities to help, being confronted over and over again with a string of personal failures, manipulation, and betrayal. When he tries to set a boundary about not being willing to help the man who took over his body and forced him against his home in Twilight, he’s told to get over it by his most trusted ally. When his deepest fears are revealed in Only a Dream, we see them having been already realized in Legacy. And when he’s presented with his dream of a peaceful life farming, a family that loves him, and no responsibility to save the world, it’s ripped away from him in For The Man Who Has Everything.

Ultimately, I don’t have a good answer for exactly how he doubles down in JLU S2, because I need to rewatch all of it with this understanding of the character. But I think you can see the shape of a traditional Superman character in there, trying and trying again and again to do the right thing, putting himself on the line - only instead of learning from his experiences and letting them inform his actions, he’s carrying the weight of years of suppressed trauma while trying to hold up the entire Justice League. This long, long run of failure, manipulation, betrayal, and distrust adds up. And there’s only so much weight one person can hold on their shoulders, even if they are a Superman.

(And then as the nice little capstone to his story, in Batman Beyond's The Call, he’s kept under alien mind control for years! With the way Starro clings to his chest, he probably hasn’t been touched in years! Trapped in his own mind, forced to watch as yet another alien species uses him as a tool to hurt his own teammates and invade the Earth! And that’s the last we see of DCAU Clark! What a fun little ending to his character arc that doesn’t make me go insane whenever I think about it. Very very very normal about this.)

[holdmymallowsweet]

Hello there 👋

I hope you're having a wonderful day! You might recognize my screen name, I go by TheaCreativity on AO3 and recently left a comment on the amazing Richard Jackdaw one shot you wrote 😊

I thought I'd send you a separate message on Tumblr to say "Hi, I'm Thea!" as well as offering my support for the upcoming Jackdaw part 2 story you have planned 🥰 In the notes of your current story you had mentioned that English wasn't your first language. Trust me when I say - WOW! I never would have guessed; not only did you create a beautifully poetic narrative, but all technical aspects of your writing were on point ❤️

Although I genuinely feel your work is flawless 🙏 if you ever find yourself wanting someone to chat ideas with or review a story for plot flow/word choice/technical writing aspects prior to publishing, please know that I would be happy to volunteer! 🙋‍♀️ I am not an expert by any means, but I edit and beta read for a few fellow creators in the community and I always appreciate it when they do the same for me 🥰

It's so much fun having others in the HL fandom to discuss things with, such as story ideas, plot devices, character arcs and dynamics, theories, etc. ✨ While I enjoy interacting with the fandom, I personally find the larger Discord servers overwhelming and prefer chatting one on one or in small groups 😅 Every creator has their own process though, and what works for some may not work for others.

If you ever want to chat, please feel free to reach out anytime ☺️ I can't wait to read your other works!!

Cheers,

~Thea

Oh you are just the sweetest soul. I already recognized you from when you wrote me comments on my longfic a while ago, and btw, I love your icon over at ao3. I don't know who that girl is or which movie or show she's from, but looking at her sparks an immense amount of joy 🤣

Here's the thing about my English: My dna is 100% pretzel and I never lived anywhere except in or just outside Munich. I've never even been to an English speaking country (unless you want to count a one week trip to Singapore). I've consumed most of my entertainment in English since I was 16 - 17, and after 10+ years (yes, I'm old) I'm actually pretty sure I understand the language flawlessly. But then started writing and wanted to be active in the fandom after HL came out, and I realised that passively understanding and actively finding the words to express yourself are two very different things, and I was suddenly horribly self conscious about my English.

I've since gotten over it, and it's even been a while since I mentioned it in my author's notes. Sometimes native speakers word things a bit awkwardly or don't know what a random obscure word means either, it's not the end of the world. English capitalization will always elude me, but the occasional improper capitalization never ruined a fic for anyone (I hope).

Thank you a million times for your support and your kind words ❤️

I really want to try to write better and more consistently this year, and to hear that someone appreciates my writing really makes me want to try my best to make it happen.

And please tell me who that girl in your ao3 icon is, because I love her.

[inniezinnie]

A CaitVi/Violyn Playlist (and the rationale behind each song choice)

https://youtu.be/pdXi4D58i9I?si=mmNtVaBrsrJnEjZt

The songs are chronological and are based on their canon story and some of my headcanons!

1. Fantastic by King Princess: Their main theme!!! Every love story has a theme 💓

2. Sinner by The Last Dinner Party: They're fated lovers. They're so different yet so empathetic towards each other. And they could've met when they were younger but didn't!

3. What Could I Do by The Corrs: They fall in love at first sight, and they're not sure what to do about it. They want to please each other, yet they irritate each other (in a positive way)

4. I Wanna Be With You by Mandy Moore: The attraction is getting stronger! There's romantic tension between them, and they can feel it slowly...

5. The Only Exception by Paramore: Cait saves Vi, they make eye contact... And then they look at each other's lips... Oh, they're falling deeper! They have THE heart to heart scene in Caitlyn's bedroom.

6. Ain't Together by King Princess: They still love each other, but they feel hopeless. Things are taking quite a bad turn...

7. Oil & Water by PVRIS: OIL AND WATER. DRAMATIC RAIN. VI DID YOU SAY THAT?!

8. YELLOW by Xana: Caitlyn is upset. Vi is upset. They still love each other, but can't. Cue the famous shower scene. Then Jinx kidnaps Cait, violates them, and then commits an act of terrorism. Everything becomes a blur. Caitlyn grieves as Vi comforts. Caitlyn swears vengeance while Vi watches in horror. They kiss, then they separate.

They still love each other, but can't.

They're hopeless.

9. I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance: Vi's emo arc, and Cait's rise to power. Martial Law is never good, people!

10. The Reason by Hoobastank: Caitlyn slowly reflects her own decisions, and regrets them. Her rebound doesn't work because the reason of her peace is, and always will be, Vi. Despite their imperfections and imperfect lives, they are still meant to be.

11. Iris by Goo Goo Dolls: They reunite. They argue. They make up. Each word they speak is secretly a plead and confession of love.

12. Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party:

"Vi, when you were gone, I saw someone..."

"Cait, I don't f**king care!"

13. Everywhere by Michelle Branch: They are now a secure, established couple. They see each other in everything they do. They do everything together, including going to war...

14. Lovesong by The Cure: A mellow yet sweet love song, fitting for lovers separated by war, in my opinion.

15. Please Be Rude by Gigi Perez: They get through their grief of losing friends and family together post-war. They help each other through their trauma. They have their ups and downs, but they manage to keep the peace and love each other through and through. Being lovers takes time and effort.

Life is imperfect, but it's better when they're together. It finally feels... Perfect. The peaceful kind.

16. Capital Letters by Hailee Steinfield and BloodPop®: They're finally happy together! They give each ither cute pet names and act all cutesy around each other. They've found pure bliss together! Also, it's Hailee Steinfeld!

17. Slow Hands by Niall Horan: Domestic love. And whatever couples do together.

18. Afterlife by Hailee Steinfield: They're soulmates in every universe! Even after death, they'll somehow find each other. Also, it's Hailee Steinfeld!

19. The Cuppycake Song by Amy Castle: Cupcake. Self-explanatory.

[one-flower-one-sword]

Hello! I’m new to your blog so it’s possible you may have shared similar thoughts. I recently finished the novel and just wanted to share some random thoughts. :-D Did you figure out Hua Cheng was Wu Ming before the novel revealed it? I was spoiled on this before reading and so saw the hints leading up to it. I don't know if I would have figured it out beforehand, but I just think it's interesting seeing some of the hints. One being when Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were running on the rooftops of the Heavenly Capital, trying to get to his guoshi. Xie Lian felt a sense of deja vu I think. And then Hua Cheng's reaction when Xie Lian made a joke about being stabbed and turned into mush. I just thought that was really good foreshadowing. _____

I’ve seen some of the jokes about Hua Cheng being a stalker and I have to say again just how not true that is and it’s not even something I want to joke about. Seeing how Jun Wu actually stalked him, tormented him and all the pain that caused Xie Lian. Hua Cheng never did, and would never do anything like that. This man has such a visceral reaction to any pain Xie Lian has that it would be, at this point, like going against his very nature to do so. He is so careful about not wanting to cause Xie Lian harm by his own actions ( and of course by others).

—--------------- I was reminded from a TGCF discussion thread how young Hua Cheng was during the time Xie Lian was the White Clothed Calamity. He was 16-17 or 17-18. After all the suffering he saw Xie Lian go through, of course he was ready to burn the world down for him. It’s completely understandable even if one doesn’t agree with it. And as soon as Xie Lian changed his mind, he put aside his own desire for revenge and helped Xie Lian stop it by sacrificing himself.

I once read a thread where a comment was made that Hua Cheng encouraged Xie Lian to commit genocide because he asked why wait 3 days to inflict the Human Face Disease and it bothered me because that just wasn’t the case. And I feel it kind of does a disserve to Hua Cheng - missing out on the fact he too had just witnessed his beloved stabbed to death. Ofc, he wanted revenge but he never let that desire override what Xie Lian ultimately wanted to do.

I remember a fanfic I read kind of addressed how back then Hua Cheng didn’t try to stop Xie Lian from doing something that would’ve hurt him mentally and emotionally. Hua Cheng said at present he would say something to Xie Lian if  something were to happen again. Although Hua Cheng didn’t deny he’d ultimately follow through if Xie Lian persisted, Xie LIan said he wouldn’t because he’d listen to Hua Cheng. I know it’s fanfic, but I thought that was the best way to surmise how things would play out because Hua Cheng at present wants Xie Lian to keep from being hurt in all ways, not just his body, but of course will ultimately follow whatever Xie Lian says.

I guess I just wanted to know, from your reading and thoughts on the characters, how do you think Hua Cheng would respond to Xie Lian if he was on the verge of doing something of that nature again? 

Sorry for the word vomit, happy to clarify anything that got too jumbled up! And if it's too much to answer, any thoughts you'd like to share about anything I mentioned is just fine. :) Thank you!

hi, thank you so much for your ask! I'm honestly still really humbled people want to know my tgcf opinions, I did not expect this much interest at all when I started posting.

I was also spoilered for Hua Cheng being Wu Ming, but yeah, the foreshadowing in this novel really is amazing! as with the Black Water arc, every time I reread the novel I spot another small bit of foreshadowing.

I also feel your frustration in regards to the "Hua Cheng is a stalker" thing, I'm continually baffled when it comes up in fandom - because like you said, it was Jun Wu who repeatedly displayed this kind of violating behavior towards Xie Lian, not Hua Cheng. I've mentioned it in previous meta posts, though I've not yet talked extensively about it. I have a longer post in the works though where I tackle several takes on hualian's relationship that seem popular in fandom yet I feel are directly contradicted by the text.

In regards to your last questions, I've also wondered about these kinds of what-ifs, though I think the point of this storyline was that Xie Lian ultimately did choose kindness and forgiveness, and also that he was only brought to this point after suffering through the trauma of incredibly brutal violation and torture and the loss of his parents through suicide. and in regards to Hua Cheng, like you said it needs to be kept in mind what witnessing Xie Lian be violated and tortured like this did to him as well. it's very obvious both from Hua Cheng's wrath against anyone and anything who causes Xie Lian pain - including Hua Cheng himself when he feels he's failed Xie Lian in some way - as well as his unflinching self-sacrifical protectiveness towards Xie Lian, how deeply he was traumatized by what he witnessed people do to Xie Lian. unfortunately i feel like the complexities of the whole situation often get flattened out or outright ignored in certain fandom circles in favor of takes like "and that's why hualian is a toxic relationship" and other such nonsense.

also like you said it's often a disservice to Hua Cheng in particular, who I've several times seen described as one-dimensional and "walking red flag of a person". honestly one of the reasons I've been focusing so much meta on him is because of how baffling and frankly annoying I find these kinds of takes.

I think I may have read that same fanfic btw! that conversation feels familiar :3 I don't remember all the details but it did make sense to me.

don't apologize for rambling btw, always feel free to send me your thoughts! I feel like this reply ended up also quite rambly, I hope my answers were at least somewhat satisfactory anyway. some of the things you touched upon I will definitely address with more detail in that longer post I mentioned on hualian's relationship that I've been working on.

[countessofwisdom]

I Don't Think It Could Ever Be You

TGCF (Heaven Official's Blessing) Spoilers

A post-Black Water Arc conversation. Angst. Little to no plot, just a scene. (WC: 852)

***

Shi Qingxuan never meets his eyes. "I just think... whatever affections I held for you all those centuries, it died that day."

His eyes narrow. "Your 'affections' then, must have been so fickle."

"Maybe it was," he replies too quickly, remiss of the knife he has grazed on someone's skin, "or maybe I just realized that day that I didn't know who these affections belonged to."

Shi Qingxuan has always treated the word love like a word meant to be given, or it is human nature to say 'I love you'. He gave it to his brother, his drinking buddies, to lost souls, and helpless devotees.

He also remembers giving them to a certain god.

"...maybe it's not fickle. Perhaps, I still hold these affections. Not towards you, but the man you pretended to be."

His fist clenches. "Ming Yi is long dead."

"But you revived him, didn't you? You took his name, his appearance, and you stepped on the heavenly capital wearing his shoes. The footprints you left were his," his words seeped with contained venom. Yet, a sliver shows crumbling composure—revealing a tiny child within that wailed and thrashed, begging for his brother back.

You took my name, my fate, and you might as well have ripped my limbs off my body. My fate is not yours, it is mine, he once yelled to a statue a million years ago.

An uncomfortable sense of dread creeps up and He Xuan does not know if it is a mutual feeling. Shi Qingxuan's eyes are devoid of the light it once had, unwilling to tell. Every word created invisible rifts and insurmountable walls between them.

Suddenly, he does not want to know, for something tells him that it is not.

"It was just a name," is the response he settles for.

It was just some clothes. It was just a face. It was just some mannerisms he borrowed.

But it has always been him.

Especially, when all Shi Qingxuan sees in him are truths he wishes he could turn a blind eye to.

Shi Qingxuan shakes his head. "It was Ming-xiong who I saw all these years, I just... I don't… even if I know it's you now, it doesn't erase his name from my memories. Even more, I can't replace his name with yours just like that. Especially…"

His throat yearns for the bitterness of wine whenever he thinks of him. He wants the dizziness and dopamine, if that is all the reprieve he is going to get. Ming-xiong could have been his drinking companion but he was dead, and He Xuan was a stranger who murdered the only person he could lean on.

No matter what, Ming Yi (the one he knew, at least) and He Xuan are oil and water. It tears him into a million pieces to see their silhouettes settle in on a single shadow. He wants to pretend that, somehow, all those years, his affections were received by a person he knew, and not the person he thought he knew.

Black Water then continues against his better mind, "Then if I had told you my real name that day we met, and If I told you who I really was, would it have been…" possible?

Could you have chosen me?

No, his mind quickly reprimands him. He would never choose you.

But at least, he hoped, that even if he didn't choose him in the end, Shi Qingxuan would have hesitated not choosing him for one second. For even a split second, he was his choice.

But the deafening silence that follows tells him a plethora of things he wishes he could cover his ears to.

It told him of Shi Qingxuan's hesitance; maybe he found his question ridiculous (it truly was), maybe he is already cursing him to death, plotting his vengeance. That would have been better. But gods, Shi Qingxuan chooses to bear the guilt of his brother's sin and he hates it.

The silence resettled him to the world they roamed. The rushing river holds memories of pasts that could not be reversed. The wind fluttering along with his hair ever so gently sends shivers down his spine. It reminds him of the reality he has to face.

Everything is real.

He really killed Shi Qingxuan's brother/The Water Tyrant and he does not regret it.

Or does he?

He does not, doesn't he? How could he regret it?

He is hurting. At the same time, he has never been so relieved, like a thousand voices inside his head finally went silent.

Fury drove him into doing what he did, fury sparked by the death of his family and his humanity that demanded justice, but he also did it to alleviate pain—to make living bearable. He thought the pain would dissipate as easily as taking a god's life.

…he doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore.

After what seemed like a million years, Shi Qingxuan speaks.

"He Xuan..."

This first time he says death's name.

"I'm sorry…"

And the last heartbreak he gives him.

"I don't think it could ever be you."

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.185 thoughts

[The New York Soup Stock Exchange]

(Contents: thematic analysis)

I've been thinking a lot about Tozuka's editor saying that Undead Unluck's slogan would be "let's enjoy life," and maybe it's a matter of translation, but to me, it seems like every word of that slogan has meaning

"Enjoy life" is easy enough to see the significance of, but I'm willing to bet most people who read that discount the "let's"

To me, though, that phrase isn't a command, it's an invitation: it's not telling you to go out and enjoy your life, it's asking you to enjoy life with others. We all should enjoy our lives, together, and this chapter illustrates that concept beautifully

In shonen battle manga, togetherness is most readily conveyed through standing united against a common enemy, but that's not really applicable to most people's lives. However, there is one way to show togetherness that I think pretty much anyone anywhere can relate to: sharing meals

Family gatherings, holiday parties, celebrating special occasions, or even smaller occasions like dates or regular lunch breaks, the number one way that people spend time together is just grabbing a bite to eat. Any given cooking manga, like Food Wars or Toriko, capitalize on this throughout their entire runs, but even manga without a focus on food like One Piece, Dr. Stone or even Cipher Academy often feature their cast savoring delicious food in each other's company

Undead Unluck is no stranger to this, like with the cherry blossom viewing as Spring died in the previous loop, but this is the first time that we've focused on the creation and consumption of a singular dish in this series. The cooking process is just as important as the dish itself, and while Enjin has experience, Fuuko has love: a group of friends who will face any challenge with her, and who she has a strong enough understanding of to be able to create something greater than the sum of its parts. In a way, that's what the Union is: a hotpot of disparate ingredients brought together and harmonizing to create something incredible

I've noted before that very few fights in Undead Unluck are one-on-one, but one-vs.-many is a pretty common setup: Union vs. Victor, AnFuu+RipLa vs. Autumn, and, most notably, AnFuu+ShenMui vs. Feng. Unlike Feng, Enjin definitely understands the concept of cooking/fighting with love, but just like Feng, Enjin operates alone, taking on every aspect of the cooking process by himself while Fuuko has split up the responsibilities based on everyone's strengths. This is exemplified best through his taste test, where the panel zooms out to show his single silhouette struggling to cool down his broth while Fuuko and friends continue cooking. The wide empty space and his one shadow vs. the Union's three felt so incredibly lonesome

I won't dig too deep into Enjin's mentality or reasoning just yet, as I'm sure the next chapter will give me more than enough to work with on that front, but it's plain to see that Enjin isn't just solitary, he's isolated. Just like Feng, just like Billy, just like Rip, just like Andy. Did he choose to be this way like the former three, or did he find himself here like Andy? Again, we'll find out next week, but I'm willing to bet it's a little bit of both - something happened that pushed him away from others, and he chose to continue on alone

I'm really liking this arc so far, but I think the clincher is going to have to be Enjin's backstory. I like his design and personality, but for him to solidify himself in my heart like everyone else has before him, his story needs to move me. With everything we've seen in these last two chapters, though, I have no doubt that Tozuka will do just that with ease

Until next week, let's enjoy life

[upontherisers]

ugh, friend, i’m so sorry you’re not feeling well (again) 💕💕i love hazel and jack a normal amount and if you’re in the mood i would love to hear about any thoughts for them you’ve got rolling around? canon, au, anything~ — @shoshiwrites

cc-ing @latibvles because she is my co-creator on this but there's an AU of an AU of sorts where dungeon master jack kidd has been running a dungeons and dragons home game at lake harding for a group of counselors every summer for the past few years and as it's now jack's last year, hazel wants to play for the first time

there's are too many people at the table already but jack cannot say no to her so he helps her build a character (a way of the open hand harengon monk named hoppy meadows) and she sits down for her first session having never played before, surrounded by nine level 10 players who've been doing this for awhile now and jack has given them his word that he will not slow things down so that hazel can catch up because they're in the middle of a huge arc in which the party seeks to avenge the death of apollonius julius (bubbles' pc and twin brother to apollonia, mahalia's pc)

but as soon as they start playing, it's obvious that he's going to take it easy on hazel and every npc has something flattering to say to hoppy and in combat, every enemy hits every other pc twice before hitting hoppy once. usually, this would have brady tossing around the word "favoritism" and bucky trying to blow up jack's carefully laid plans, but brady's seated next to willie this year and mahalia's across the table from bucky so they're both a bit distracted.

there are some sweet moments:

hoppy getting the killing blow on a dragon that was trying to destroy her warren

hazel's delight when she realizes the capital of the kingdom they're in is basically fantasy dublin (she studied abroad in ireland her junior year of college and she goes back every few years. it's her favorite place)

a young sailor fancying hoppy who doesn't make it out of a battle with guards once they get to port and hazel finally understands why people play dnd for years (they weren't supposed to be on the ship longer than a session but jack had them take the long way round because hazel liked the nautical-theme music he picked [he reaches around his dm screen and holds hazel's hand for the rest of the session because she's a bit sniffly])

cros' scruffy highlander dwarf scribe reads romantic poetry to hoppy and jack is NOT jealous but if ernest can't pass any of his checks for the next two hours, it’s in the dice

hazel is having the best time and no one has the heart to complain because it's jack's last summer and it's nice seeing him do something for himself for once (even if it's subconscious). he's using the story to tell her all the things he loves about her and show her all the little ways he loves her. the last session is a thing of legend

sick day q&a!!!

[jianghushenanigans]

A sequel to the ‘most annoying guy TM in the Jianghu’ and ‘most annoying guy TM in the cdrama capital’ poll because I was specifically asked to include Ming Tai and honestly he deserves it

Propaganda of a sort under cut - also feel free to provide your own

Ming Tai: as a teenager (early 20s? unclear: Hu Ge is blatantly in his mid 30s but we're ignoring this because he's a good actor) and a baby brother raised by significantly older siblings, Ming Tai is the spoiled brat. He's also very good at being a competent spy when he needs to be, but that doesn't make him less annoying when he wants to be, which is always

Shang Xirui: of all the characters on here he's the only one I actually personally cannot stand, but that's partly because he sings opera and I have discovered through watching Winter Begonia that I do not like opera of any kind. But also he's insufferable and needs to get a grip on reality. Some things are more important than the show! Like FOOD! And the WAR!

Zhao Yunlan: SUCKING TOO HARD ON YOUR LOLLIPOP OH LOVE'S GONNA GET YA DOWN. Guardian was the first CDrama I saw and I actually don't remember what he did but I do remember that he liked to cause problems

Wen Kexing: Winner of the 'most annoying guy in the jianghu' poll, I don't think I really need to write propaganda about him but like. Has he considered a method of flirting that does not consist of stalking a random homeless man?

Wei Wuxian: 2nd in the jianghu poll. Everyone knows why he's annoying, I won't go into this any more than to say in the Cloud Recesses arc he distinctly reminds me of one of the most annoying people I have ever met in real life

Lin Chen: 3rd in the jianghu poll and my personal Favourite Guy. To paraphrase @nemainofthewater: 'if he was in it for any longer I wouldn't be able to stand him, but he's only there for long enough that it's actually charming'. Enjoys the fact that he's smarter than (almost) everyone else and likes to be obnoxious about it

Mei Changsu: came joint 1st in the 'most annoying guy in the cdrama capital' poll. Professional party ruiner, but he does try to only enjoy it when his political enemies are suffering. Gets to tag team with Lin Chen bc I don’t want them to split votes and also because between them they manage to annoy literally every character in the whole show

Fan Xian: joint 1st in the capital poll AND 4th in the jianghu poll because he is annoying all the time and everywhere. As a transmigrator he is (unfortunately) aware that he is the main character, causes problems on purpose

Zhao Yujin: 3rd the capital poll. I won't lie that this surprised me because I have seen one gifset total for this show on tumblr (the one that persuaded us to watch), but I guess for those who have seen it it is a legal requirement to vote for him because of literally everything he does ever. In his defence he fell in a pond as a child and then his overbearing mother babied him. That being said, he is an adult now

Huang Yaoshi: included because of @tavina-writes's extensive propaganda in the jianghu poll: my favourite part of it was "the OG torture flute soloist; his flute solo canonically sounds like sex, x-rated porn sounds"

Wu Xin: I missed him off the original jianghu poll, and also the whole point of the polls is for me to try and get people to watch my shows so there’s more fic and I’m not just here crying on my own. An overpowered gremlin boy. 'Would you like to get kidnapped?' 'no??' 'ok that's cool I'm kidnapping you anyway!'

[readingtoinfinity]

Kengan Ashura (anime)

I think we all have that one media we enjoy where in the quality department it's technically quite good, but there's an edge of terrible messaging underneath we need to be cognizant of, whether it's the implicit trust in authority displayed in Paw Patrol to the fascistic tendencies of Blue Lock or anything in-between. For me, I think Kengan Ashura is that terrible message.

The main story concerns Mr. Ashura Ohma Tokita, a fighter hunting for his master's killer, and Kazuo Yamashita, a low-level salaryman working a dead-end job, who combine forces to join the Kengan Tournament, a tourney sponsored by corporations where spats can be solved with blood and fists instead of money and corporate warfare.

Kengan Ashura is made of two parts that only just combine: the tournament arc that composes the bulk of the anime, and the corporate jockeying for power of the sponsors. I have thoughts about each of them, so let's starting with the punchy bits.

The fights are quite fun to watch. Every character is technically a normal human that has worked hard enough to become something else, and they're given titles to reflect this; Ohma is given the title of "Ashura" reflecting his rage and ferocity. And like the best tournament arcs each fight is given focus, not only to follow characters you like but also see the opponents rising in the ranks.

I will also give props to the animation during the fights specifically. When the fighting gets going the animation can add a level of intensity to every punch that really gets your heart pumping, and I should know because I used this show to exercise to. But outside the fights, anyone who doesn't get a 3D model is rendered in 2D, and considering how many characters there are there's a good chunk of scenes where it's just bog-standard 2D animation from a studio that's much better at 3D. And outside of fights, these 3D models can look stiff and unnatural.

The central story concerning Ohma's master is there. Events proceed and we receive revelations about opponents and it's fine. It's neither so bad as to be laughable nor so good as to rewire my brain, it's simply there to enable personal stakes in the fights.

But stakes are a tricky thing. It's called the "Life or Death Kengan Tournament" but you'll find that most fighters survive a ton of damage, most not even getting permanent scars from the experience. The fight ensures that somebody can lose by being tapped out instead of knocked out, but it feels quite silly for the tournament to be touted as life-or-death when it's clearly not the case.

And this posturing leads me to the other half of the show, that of the corporate politics, and it's hear that the more insidious messages from the story start to surface. Ostensibly the Kengan Tournament was started as a way to prevent corporations from fighting one another, sending for representatives to take the risk and win the glory rather than risky and expensive direct rivalry. The representative fighters are introduced in the tournament with how much money they've won for their respective corporations, and it very easily gets into the billions of yen.

This is where we start to get into the problems of the show. The chairmen of these companies are projected in a sympathetic light, and the tournament is presented as a preferable alternative to corporations fighting one another, but all that leaves you with is a set of rules these chairmen agree to and abide by with one another; in other words, corporate collusion. The show may say they don't like each other, that they're working at cross-purposes, but when the whole Kengan Association is set up to stabilize the market and keep everyone making money, your ability to stomach this bit of worldbuilding will depend quite heavily on your tolerance for capitalism and especially corporatocracy.

A side note: I understand wanting to read about terrible systems and great, overwhelming powers that control the world. I like something like The First Law, which also shows terrible economic and political systems, so I can understand you may think me two-minded about it. But where First Law often just portrays these systems (neutrally or negatively) Kengan Ashura presents the system as a good thing, like it's saving lives and uplifting the deserving. It's feeding into the bootstrap myth of capitalism.

There are two people that do attempt to change the Kengan Association, one by coup and another as an internal reformer. I found both detestable, the former moreso for the violence inflicted, the latter for falling into the system and believing it can be changed for the better. The insistence on the status quo with small steps of improvement was something I really disliked about the show, and sullied my enjoyment throughout.

So you get this: two halves of a show, one, a very good fighting show with merely okay plot, and the other a weird corporate power grab with subtly awful connotations. I hesitate to say this is a turn-your-brain-off show but a second's self-reflection would certainly remove the luster of what the show is trying to be. I almost don't understand why the corporate angle was added: was it to justify the excellent healthcare? The high stakes? The posturing in the background? I don't know. It's impossible to like only half a show: you have to take it as a whole. If you like fights, and you don't mind some stupid B-plots, be my guest. It's certainly good for getting your heart rate up.

EDIT: And God damn, I'm not usually a person who cares all that much about openings, but the first opening, "King & Ashley" by MY FIRST FAMILY is perfect for the show, and they get weaker every time they're replaced.