#in light of all this. this is the closest to an actual rock star career seen in the 80's played out in modern day | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

marycecilyy · 3 years ago

Note

Hey could you do headcanons for the mcl guys (or if not all of them castiel, armin, and kentin) when their S/O is a famous singer? Thank you❤

Oh god this turned out so longer than I expected huahahushaushu

First of all, these are too long to be headcanons, all three of them have more than 1k words each. Also, I changed a bit the prompt. It's more like "Candy has the dream of becoming a famous singer". The rest you'll see... I'll only say that I'm very proud of this one ;)

Castiel, Armin and Kentin with a Candy that wishes to be a famous singer

Castiel

Castiel wasn’t one to be friendly to new students, but he knew you weren’t like any other when you came to him and asked if Winged Skull was one of his favorite bands too. He was shocked to know that there was another person at Sweet Amoris who enjoyed the same bands as him. Yes, bands (in plural). After he answered that, yes, Winged Skull was his favorite band of all times, you started talking about your common interests and discovered that there were many.

He was a very closed off guy, but somehow you managed to break into his skull in a short time and, in a few months, you turned into best friends.

When Debrah came back and that whole situation happened, your fight with Castiel had a lot of impact over you. In your head, you had just lost your best friend forever. Fortunately. Lysander not only helped you recover from the blow and gave you energy to gather your friends and expose Debrah, but also helped you admit to yourself that, you did have feelings for Castiel.

Once she was unmasked and ran away like a coward, things quickly came back to normal. In less than one week, you had restored your reputation, your friends apologized for misjudging you, Castiel and you were once again friends. The only difference was that you knew that you were in love with him.

You didn’t tell him about your feelings right away, you decided to keep your friendship and focus a bit on your lifelong goal: become a music star. You started learning how to sing properly and doubled the days of your guitar lessons. Castiel even helped you get into the music club (they were full when you got into Sweet Amoris, but he found a way to enroll you).

You knew that your chances of actually becoming famous were pretty low, the market was difficult and depended a lot on having the right contacts. That was why, while you tried putting your name out there, your plan was to get a degree in music as soon as you finished high school. Antheros Academy offered a good education and was close, it was your best option.

As you channeled your energies towards your goal, Castiel started to acknowledge his own sentiment towards you. He liked to watch your focused face as you tuned your guitar and your singing voice earned a sweet accent all of the sudden. He always considered you a special girl, but, to his surprise, feelings were starting to develop inside his closed off chest.

That was why, as soon as he won those concert tickets on a raffle, he knew he’d take you there as your first date. Luckily for him, you accepted right away. Castiel had a feeling that night would be something else.

And it really was, as he kissed you, without even thinking it through, when the vocalist sung what he knew was your favorite tune. When you kissed him back, he wrapped his hands over your waist and lifted you up, feeling your warm lips open up for him.

The months that followed were full of bliss. With you and Castiel officially dating, the school had a lot to talk about. Amber pestered you quite a bunch of times, but that didn’t mess with your relationship at all. Everything was perfect, as it was supposed to be.

But that didn’t last long. Right after you finished high school, your dad had to move to another town because of his job and you had no choice but to go too. You were sure that your relationship would survive the distance, after all, you were in love. This situation would be worked out.

Castiel came to your new house a couple of times and you two called frequently, but in the end distance started to grow between the both of you… and it hurt. Knowing that Castiel was sad made you miserable and you decided to break up before it became unbearable.

You lost your count of how many nights you cried thinking about him.

4 years later.

You were zipping your jeans up when you heard a knock on your dressing room’s door. Who could it be? Your parents had already congratulated you over the phone, there was no one supposed to come that night. Did your manager schedule a press interview for after the show?

You put on your shirt and told whoever was on the other side to wait. When you finally opened the door, your jaw almost fell. You couldn’t believe he was there.

He looked exactly like in the magazines, (a bit less photoshopped, but that was to expect. You went through that as well and it sucked). His hair was shoulder-length and he wore a black shirt that showed off the tattoos up to the middle of his arm. He wore some light makeup, most on his skin, which you deduced his manager made him put on. Castiel looked like you expected him to after all those years, but one thing about him surprised you.

His eyes, although more mature and serious, had the same brightness as before.

"Are ya going to keep staring like that?” He asked and you noticed you had just been looking at him for a solid minute.

“Sorry. Come in.” You said and made space for him to enter the room. For your luck, there was nothing private to be seen, you had the habit of leaving your clothes and personal belongings messy and only cleaning up the second you had to go.

Castiel cleared his throat. An awkward silence hung between you. You hadn’t been alone with each other ever since the breakup. You two were two of the biggest stars of nowadays rock music, but you barely had any opportunity to talk. Not that you haven’t tried, it was the opposite. You avoided contact. Your fans knew you had dated in high school (you used to have pictures on your personal instagrams and fans were quick to dig over old accounts to find information about their idols), so they never expected a feat or any kind of collab. Everyone knew that you weren’t on best terms.

You remembered just a couple of days ago, when you were interviewed for one of those talk shows. The host made a lot of personal questions about Castiel and even asked if you would get back with him if you had the chance. You tried to avoid answering, but the public instantly read your unconscious signs: yes, you would.

That was why, you assumed, he was there. To make things clear. After all, because of you yours and his fans started shipping you two and got you on twitter’s trending topics. He probably was pissed. There was also a possibility of him wanting to take advantage of the situation, maybe propose a fake relationship? No, that wasn’t like him. Or was it? You barely knew him anymore.

“So… you probably guessed why I’m here. I saw your interview” You were right, then. “And I want to make things clear.” Ouch. You should prepare for the blow. “Look, we both know time has passed and we’re not the same as before. You broke up to avoid more suffering, and I get that. I really do.”

Castiel crossed his arms and glared at you. You looked back at him with fear, fear of knowing what his next words would be. “But...?” You asked.

“Tsk.” He huffed. This would be more difficult than he thought. “Look, little girl…” You felt a shiver run through your spine at the sound of the old nickname he gave you. You had always loved it, even though you didn’t say it out loud. After what felt like hours, he continued. “I don’t want to be cheesy, that’s not like me. So I’ll just say that if what all of the fans are theorizing is true.... If you do want to try again....”

Castiel took your hand and you jumped in surprise. He turned your palm to him and grabbed a pen from his back pocket. He wrote down a phone number on your hand and let go of it, capped the pen and turned around to go.

"That's my personal number. It’s pretty useful if you wanna call me without having to schedule an appointment with my manager.” You managed to laugh. You knew exactly how these things were annoying.

Inside, you were bursting with excitement. However, you answered playfully “Hm…. I’ll think about it, mr. Rockstar” Castiel chuckled and excused himself, saying that his manager would get pissed at him if he took too long. You smiled.

Maybe it was not over, after all.

Armin

When you told Armin, very early on your friendship, that your dream was to become a famous singer, he got so excited for you. He already knew that you played the guitar and was good at singing, but he had no idea that you wanted to make this your career path.

You couldn’t have chosen a better partner. Being the tech nerd that Armin was, he helped you a lot in recording your covers with the best quality possible considering the amateur camera and microphone you had.

However, the times that his presence most comforted you was when you showed him your new songs. He was always eager to see your composing progress and gave you pure honesty in his feedback, keeping in mind that he was no expert but still wanted to help you.

You always asked him for a way to return his favors, but he always said that it was his duty as your best friend to support you and that it was more than enough having you to talk about all his geek interests.

As time passed, you started to notice that you liked him way more as a friend. Without an idea of what to do, you asked Rosa and Alexy for advice. They were your closest friends apart from your crush (and you couldn’t run to him in that situation, duh)

After a dozen pro tips and date ideas from them, you decided to take Armin to the movies (basic, you knew, but couldn’t go wrong).

When you asked him if he was available Saturday night, you didn’t say properly “Hey, we’re going on a date”. Actually, you didn’t mention the word “date” at all, hoping that he would read between the lines.

And he did, because as soon as you sat and the film started, Armin grabbed your hand that was resting in the armrest and entwined your fingers. You couldn’t pay attention to what was going on screen at all and your attention was completely drawn from the movie when the boy grabbed your chin and brought your lips to his.

You only stopped kissing when the lights went on and the credits started scrolling.

“Hey…” You asked as soon as you two left the place, holding hands with him. “What was the movie about again?”

Armin laughed out loud. He teased you about it a lot before you made him confess that he didn’t know either.

A few days later, it was him who asked you out. You kept going on dates for the next week, all of them simple but interesting at the same time. However, you two weren’t dating. The whole school knew there was something going on between you two by the chuckles and timid kisses when you thought nobody saw them, but you didn’t make things official… yet. But that was about to change.

It was friday and you invited Armin over to “study” (he was sure that the afternoon would be spent between videogames and kisses, but if you wanted to call it a study session, it was okay for him).

As he comfortably sat on your bed as if it were his own, you told him to wait as you brought him some juice. When you came back, he was already grabbing his nintendo switch from his bag.

“What makes you think that we’re here to game?” You teased, handing him the glass.

“Come on, Candy, we both know that none of us are interested in learning orbital hybridization…”

“Maybe I am. I really need a good grade on those tests.” You approached him and held his jaw up so your foreheads touched. With a trailed voice, you continued. “Unless you have something more interesting to do in mind...”

Armin opened up that playful smile of his. “Oh, I do, actually.” In a quick movement that caught you off guard, he threw you in bed and started pampering you with kisses all over your face. You couldn’t stop laughing from how his hands tickled your belly, but you managed to stop him. “W-Wait, Armin!”

He looked at you, confused. “What?”

As you caught your breath, you explained that there was something you wanted to show him first. You got off the bed and went to grab your guitar that was hung up on the free wall of your bedroom.

“Did you compose a new song?” Armin deducted as you sat in front of him again, this time with your guitar in hands.

“You’ll see.” You tuned your instrument under his curious gaze. When you felt satisfied with the sound, you looked back at him. Armin didn’t miss the blush that coloured your cheeks. “I know you’d never do it, but I have to ask even so: promise you won’t laugh.”

You started playing the first chords of the song you had finished composing just a few days before. Usually, you composed simple songs that anyone could identify with, songs about friendship, inspiration, changing the world. You never wrote about your personal feelings. The notes never made you cry.

This song was special, though, because it was about him.

The day it hit you that you had feelings for him, you had the idea of writing random verses that could one day fit into a new song. After your first date, you felt so overwhelmed that, looking at the words, you decided to turn them into a song. You didn’t think it would turn into something so personal and emotional. Every note, every word, everything was clearly about him, that dorky geek you had fallen in love with.

Falling deeper every time

I can’t help but think, oh my

I’m through, but I don’t mind

Would you trade you 2D girls

For this hopeless lover

That just wants your heart?

I’ll just say that he got the message very clearly and, as soon as you finished playing, he practically jumped on you, kissing your lips with such tenderness that you almost teared up.

Of course, he asked you to be his girlfriend XD

Kentin

The first time he heard about your dream, he was still little Ken. It was one of your first days at Sweet Amoris and you two were eating cookies in the staircase. You were ranting about how sad you were that the music club was already full and you couldn’t join. Ken asked you the reason why you were so upset.

“Well… There weren’t those kind of classes in our old school. Learning how to play an instrument and sing, even during extra classes would be so cool! If I went well, maybe I’d be able to convince my dad to pay me for some private classes and then I’d be one step closer to my dream!”

“Your dream?” Ken muttered.

“Yeah! I want to become a famous singer in the future! I know that it’s impossible and even kinda silly, but-”

“No, Candy! It’s not silly at all!” Ken said. Learning more about you made him happy and he didn’t want you to think for even a second that your dream was worthless. “You shouldn't be ashamed of dreaming big. You’ll have a long, difficult path to walk through, but when you get there - and you have my word on that - I’ll be cheering for you!”

“Ken... “ You flashed your best smile at him. It meant a lot to you to have his support, he was a kind person and a very good friend (he did cross a few limits with his adoration for you, but you weren’t bothered by it). You liked being around him a lot.

-x-

“Kentin!” You threw yourself in his arms and gave him a tender kiss. “Good morning.”

Your boyfriend chuckled and held your hand, walking with you through the hallway. You talked about how your weekend had been and, between light smiles and sweet kisses, you thought of how quickly things changed between you two.

When he came back from military school, a lot of things had changed in him, including his nickname. You were facing a new person and it had been a challenge discovering Kentin and building a new relationship with him.

Even though he was a different person from before, one thing didn’t change at all and you noticed it clearly: he still liked you. Obviously he was no longer that guy who professed his feelings to everyone and followed you everywhere, he had found new ways to show you his love. You enjoyed that more mature version of him, but wished he had the opportunity to grow into a man without all the trauma he went through. You knew that most of his growth had been through suffering, and that upset you.

You didn’t know when, but somewhere into your friendship you started to grow feelings for him too. After some coaxing from Rosa and Alexy, you managed to ask him out on an official date.

The whole school already knew that Kentin was head over heels for you, but everyone was shocked to know that you loved him back as your relationship became official.

“Hey, love.”

“What?” You asked your boyfriend back as soon as you got in front of your lockers. You started looking for your books, checking that day’s classes.

“I really liked that video you posted on youtube yesterday. I never heard that song before, did you compose it yourself?”

The book you held in your hand fell to the ground. “What video?” You whispered, eyes wide.

“What do you mean, babe? That video of you singing and playing the guitar. You uploaded it yesterday night. I saw right away, you know I have my notifications turned on to all your videos. I got surprised that you decided to finally show your face and sing something of your own and- Candy? Is everything okay?”

Kentin noticed your face and got worried for you. You looked absolutely terrified.

“That video… How did you see it? I posted it as private”

“No, you didn't. It was public.” Kentin was starting to understand why you were so surprised. He put one hand on your back as you blushed and hid your face on his chest in embarrassment.

“Oh god, I can’t believe I did that! I’m so stupid! The first time I record something like that, I accidentally post it for everyone to see! Dumb, dumb Candy! Dang, now everyone’s gonna know I’m bad!”

“First of all.” Your boyfriend frowned, bringing you close to him. “You’re not dumb, you just made a mistake. And it’s okay, probably just a few people saw it. Last time I checked was before I went to sleep and it only had 20 views. But why are you so upset, Candy? Didn’t you tell me a few days ago that you were finally ready to show your face along with the covers. Did something happen to change your mind?”

“Well, I was not ready to show right away, especially not in a video that I looked terrible in. And it’s not just that. It was my first original song. I never showed it to anyone, what if it sucks?”

Kentin held your chin up and looked you in the eyes. “Candy, it doesn’t suck and you look great in the video!” You closed your eyes and snuggled close to him. “But I understand your concerns. Luckily, that can be solved if you delete the video. You’ll have other opportunities to get famous, and with better videos.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” You reached for your phone and went to your youtube page. “Fu... No way…!”

Your hands trembled. Kentin was right, the video had few views (which was good). Only 50 people had seen it, but the problem wasn’t that. For your bad luck, one of those people had been Amber. You knew that because she had left three comments on your video.

AmberOfficial: lmaooooo

AmberOfficial: Thank you for the laughs. That’s hilarious

AmberOfficial: Just give up already, looser

“That girl....” Kentin grunted, looking at your phone screen. “I swear to you, Candy, I’ll make her regret this. I’ll-”

“You don’t need to, I’m fine.”

You untangled your arms from his torso and started walking away, trying your best to hide how upset you really were. Amber was right, your music sucked. You should give up on your dream of becoming a famous singer, not only because you were bad, but also because you could barely show your face to a few people without feeling like shit. You wouldn’t be able to deal with fame.

Kentin tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. He figured you needed some time alone. He could use that time to think of something to support you and get back at Amber.

-x-

You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes red and swollen from crying. You had already deleted the video, but you couldn’t stop feeling stupid for getting so upset by a few bad comments. And feeling stupid made you even more upset.

When you got to the hallway, it was empty due to classes having already started. You probably spent half an hour locked up, but at least no one would mess with you.

You went to the garden to get some fresh air and wait until the next class started. You sat at the bench, breathed in and finally calmed down a bit.

“Candy.”

You turned around, surprised to see your boyfriend. “Kentin! What are you doing here? Classes have already started.”

He just waved his hand in a “don’t worry about that” way and sat beside you. He kissed your cheek and took your hand, checking how you were. Seeing that you seemed to be more calm, he smiled lightly at you. “So… I talked to Armin. He already found out Amber’s password and he’ll hack into Amber’s youtube account. He’ll just mess with it for a bit, delete some videos and upload some random stuff. Nothing too bad, I promise, just some memes and rickrolls.”

“Hmm…” You muttered, thinking about what he said. It wasn’t right, for sure, but you didn’t feel like stopping them. You were still hurt. “Okay. Just promise you two won’t do something serious, okay?”

He agreed. You felt a bit better, but that wasn’t enough to lift your mood and Kentin knew that. That was why he also had something else prepared. "That 's not all. I did some quick search for places where you could record that music of yours with its deserved quality. You are a good composer, Candy, believe it. Your talent doesn’t have to stay hidden in a dark room with only you, a guitar and your cellphone recording it.”

“Kentin…”

“If you want to, I’ll help you rent a studio and record your song. That would be very useful for your portfolio. I know that’s expensive, but we can find ways to-” You cut him off with a kiss. He cared about you so much, to the point of skipping classes to think of ways to make you feel better. You loved your boyfriend so much…

Lucky. You felt lucky to have him.

“I love you. Thank you for taking care of me... “ You kissed his cheek, happy to have his support. That was more than enough at that moment, Amber’s words were far behind you. All that mattered was that you could go through this.

You had Kentin, and when you had him, you had your whole world holding you so you wouldn’t fall.

#my candy love #mcl headcanon #mcl hcs #my candy love headcanons #mcl writing #writing #my writing #my candy love writing #castiel #my candy love castiel #mcl castiel #mcl armin #mcl kentin #my candy love kentin #fluff #mcl #2nd person pov #headcanons #hcs

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

Text

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #marvel

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sour--disposition · 4 years ago

Text

Lover of Mine

jj olatunji x fem!reader

a/n: i started listening to 5sos again after like 3 years (thanks amy xx) and lover of mine makes me sob, so here we go

(gif from the lovely @sdmngifs)

“Hope and I pray - Darling, that you will stay - Butterfly lies - Chase them away”

Of course you knew who JJ was when you’d first met him; despite what your friends thought, you didn’t actually live under a rock. You’d had no choice but to get to know him when two of your closest friends had attracted the attention of Ethan and Harry on a night out and spent the rest of the evening in the club with them.

You watched from the other side of the table as your friends flirted shamelessly. Hair twirling around fingers, teeth gliding over glossed lips… it was shambolic. “Let’s go for a girls night, they said. It will be so fun, they said”, you deadpan.

“Oh so this is a girls night”, JJ exclaimed, bursting out into laughter. “That’s cold, man”, he chuckled. “Come on, drinks on me”, he winked, taking your hand and leading you to the bar to pick up the next round for the table.

You’d spent the night chatting with JJ, occasionally dipping in and out of conversation with his friends and their girlfriends. It wasn’t until you’d turned to tell your friends that the next round was on you that you realised they’d left.

“The girls with Behz and Bog?”, Simon asked you. JJ nodded for you, knowing you didn’t know their names. “They all left about a half hour ago I think”, he told you sympathetically.

“Charming”, you scoffed, starting to gather your things, ready to call it a night. JJ took your hand before you could stand, though, leaning in close to speak to you.

“Fancy a nightcap?”, he asked.

Your immediate reaction was to say no. This famous youtube star come rapper come boxer would probably only want one thing from you, and you weren’t after that. But, how could you judge him, you’d only known him 3 hours. So, against what might have been your better judgement, you found yourself nodding and agreeing.

“Bailey’s?”, he asked once you’d entered his apartment, leading you over to the kitchen. You nodded, following him and watching as he poured out the two drinks. JJ knocked your glasses together gently before taking a sip.

You’d gone home that night with a big smile on your face and a new number nestled into your contacts, under JJ’s name. You still had your reservations about JJ, you’d only known him a few hours, after all. But deep down, you hoped that whatever you had could grow into something beautiful.

Being with JJ was daunting. He had a massive, devoted fan base, a successful career not in one, but three different industries… And you were you. The niggling, self-sabotaging voice in your head always reminded you that JJ could do better, that no matter how good of a person he was, he would get bored of you. It took a lot to ignore the thoughts, the feelings that haunted you in the dark nights on your own.

JJ would remind you until he was blue in the face, if he had to, that he wouldn’t stay just to humour you. He’d often joke that he was too busy to waste his time on someone that he didn’t think was worth it in the long run, but by the way he held you in the dark nights that you shared, you knew that there was at least some truth to that.

“I'll never give you away - 'Cause I've already made - Already made that mistake”

The honeymoon phase with JJ was a whirlwind. Fancy dinner dates sat across from JJ, tight white shirt pulled across his biceps; nights out with his friends, tucked under his arm so he could proudly show you off; dancing around the living room on JJ’s toes at all hours of the night.

And then JJ had music deadlines coming up, music videos to film, Sidemen videos to film… It wasn’t strange to not hear from JJ for days at a time. You tried not to worry, JJ had never given you reason to worry in the past. But there were only so many rain-checks you could take without starting to doubt your relationship. You felt guilty, how could you not. JJ was working, doing his job… You knew all of this when you entered a relationship with him.

Things were starting to look up, though. You were in an Uber on the way to JJ’s, meeting him there for your first evening out together in well over a month. You were dressed reasonably for the occasion, jeans, nice top and some heeled boots. You were excited for a few hours of JJ’s undivided attention, time for you and him to just catch up and be a normal couple again.

You knocked on the door of the apartment, surprised when Simon opened the door to you. “Y/N?”, he asked, confused.

“I’m meeting JJ here before we go out”, you told him. Simon’s face twisted into a look of guilt and remorse. “He isn’t here, is he?”, you asked, eyes dropping to the floor.

“Come wait inside, yeah? He’s probably stuck in traffic”, Simon offered, moving back to let you step into the apartment. You thanked him, following him in, pulling your shoes off before walking over to the sofa. “You good?”, Simon asked, not walking back down to his office until you’d given him a nod.

You sent JJ a text, letting him know that you were probably early, but you were at the apartment. You pulled your feet up onto the sofa, getting yourself comfortable. You let yourself get lost in a cocktail of Youtube, Twitter and TikTok. You didn’t realise how long you’d been sat there until the low battery notification popped up on your phone. Your eyes flicked to the clock on your screen. 10pm. You’d been sitting there for 4 hours.

You rolled your neck before standing up, grimacing at the pops and cracks of your stiff joints. You walk down to Simon’s office, knocking on the door. “I’m off home”, you told him, popping your head around the door. Simon turned to you, seeming shocked that you were still there.

“It’s late. Just stay, I’m not letting you go home through the middle of London on your own”, he told you. You hesitated before nodding, wishing Simon goodnight and taking yourself off to JJ’s room. You grabbed a t-shirt out of one of JJ’s drawers, heading to the bathroom to get changed and take your make-up off.

It wasn’t until you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, fully made up and ready for your date, that you started to cry. You sat on the side of the bath, head hung in your hands, as you let out full bodied sobs. This is what you were worried about, this is what JJ told you wouldn’t happen. Cancelling and rescheduling dates was one thing, but completely ignoring you and standing you up… You were heartbroken.

You scrubbed your make up off, throwing your hair into a bun on your head and changing into JJ’s shirt. You padded out to the kitchen, on a mission to make yourself a cup of tea. “You want a tea?”, Simon called when he heard you walking over.

“Please”, you said, voice small and watery. He smiled sympathetically at you. You must have made quite the sight, messy hair, tear tracks running down your face and an oversized t-shirt skirting around your thighs. You leant against the wall, staying out of the way as Simon moved around the kitchen.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”, he asked you worriedly as he handed you your mug.

“I will be. I just need some sleep, I think”, you told him, like your heart wasn’t tearing its way out of your chest as you spoke. You slumped off back to JJ’s room, crawling into bed and wrapping yourself in the duvet. You finished your tea, staring blankly at the wall opposite you, discarding the mug on the side table as soon as you were done.

A fresh wave of tears started when you reached over to plug your phone in. You stayed at JJ’s that often that he’d bought you a charger so you didn’t have to worry about forgetting it. It seemed like something so trivial to cry over, but you couldn’t help it. That was the JJ you knew, JJ who bought you a phone charger so you had even less of an excuse not to stay over, JJ who bought your favourite brand of tea bags even though he knew you’d drink anything. Not this JJ, JJ who blew you off and stood you up.

You hadn’t even bothered to shut the blinds, so you fell asleep staring out of the window, watching the lights of London’s skyline flicker and dance along the night sky.

You awoke to a sharp hiss and the other side of the bed dipping down. You looked over your shoulder, seeing JJ fumbling around in the dark. He looked over to you, face dropping with guilt. He opened his mouth to say something, but you simply turned over, tucking the duvet tighter under your chin.

“I’m sorry”, JJ said behind you. “I know it’s not a good excuse, but time got away from me. We were writing and recording and next thing I know the producers started packing up, saying it was too late to do anything else”.

He sounded genuinely apologetic and part of you wanted to roll over and let him take you into his arms and hold you until you forgave him. But a bigger part of you, an arguably pettier part of you, wanted him to suffer. You’d had to sit with no answer for hours, it was his turn now.

JJ seemed to understand what your lack of answer meant. He quickly got changed and got ready for bed, sliding in next to you wordlessly. It took effort not to turn and wrap an arm or a leg around him like you usually would. “Night, Y/N”, JJ whispered into the dark of the room before shutting his eyes and willing himself to sleep.

You awoke the next morning to JJ trying to bring a tray into the bedroom. You couldn’t help but giggle at the look of concentration cemented onto his face, tongue poking over his lip as his eyes stayed trained on the contents of the tray. “Good, you’re up”, he smiled once he’d rested the tray on the bed.

“What’s this?”, you asked, shuffling yourself so you were sitting upright against the headboard.

“An apology. I was a cunt last night. You don’t deserve that”, JJ started, perching himself next to you. “I fucked up. I’ve been fucking up. I’m so, so sorry”, he stressed, reaching over to take your hand in his. “I got tunnel vision with work. I shouldn’t have cancelled so much shit. Fuck”, he sighed.

“Just promise you’ll try and make sure it doesn’t happen again?”, you asked, rubbing your thumb over the veins in JJ’s hand.

“I promise. And if it does, just tell me. Tell me I’m being a cunt until I listen to you, okay?”, he said, smiling when you laughed and nodded. “Good”, he whispered, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you in and press a kiss to your temple.

“When I take a look at my life - And all of my crimes - You're the only thing that I think I got I right”

Your arm was looped with Talia’s as you walked into the club where JJ’s release party was being held. Banners decorated in album art were draped around the top of the club, lights of all different colours bouncing off of the pictures of JJ’s face. Talia led you over to the cordoned off VIP area of the club.

“Restricted access”, the man said, voice low and gruff.

“We should be on the list. Talia and Y/N”, Talia told him politely. He checked his list against your IDs before lifting the rope and letting you through. “Drinks. C’mon”, she urged, pulling your arm and dragging you over to the bar.

Once you’d both got a drink in hand, you walked over to find JJ. “Hello, Mister”, you smiled, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Congratulations”, you whispered. JJ just rolled his eyes lovingly before introducing you to Randolph and S-X. “It’s great to finally meet you both, JJ’s said great things”, you beamed, reaching out to shake both of their hands.

JJ excused himself to go and talk to some official people regarding the party and the album itself, leaving you with a soft press of a kiss to your forehead. “Love you”, he murmured quietly, before walking off into the swarm of people.

You spoke to Randolph and S-X for a few minutes before excusing yourself to go and find Talia, Freya and the boys. “Y/N!”, Freya called when she saw you. “You look amazing!”, she gushed, reaching out to pull you into a hug.

“So do you, Frey”, you told her, holding her tight. You’d only just sat down next to her when JJ came up beside you, resting his arm on your shoulder.

“Are you wanting to sit down?”, you asked him, smiling up at him.

“Just wondered if you want another drink before I do, me and Simon are going for another round”, he told you. You nodded, squeezing his fingers quickly before he left. You jumped straight back into your conversation with Freya, Talia joining soon after, followed by Josh.

At the bar, as they waited for the drinks to be prepared, Simon caught JJ staring at you. “You did good”, he told JJ, leaning in so the younger man could hear him over the music.

“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me”, JJ said simply, turning to Simon. “This is great, YouTube is great… I love it all”, he started, “But I’d give it all up in an instant for her. She’s put up with so much shit for me to get this album out and to keep a consistent video schedule and stuff with the boxing and everything. She doesn’t complain, just tells me when I’m being a cunt and to sort my shit out”.

Simon looked at JJ, convinced he’d never seen his best friend as love as he was in that moment. “I’m happy for you, bro”, Simon told him honestly, slapping his chest supportively before turning around to grab one of the trays of drinks that had been left on the bar.

Back at the apartment, once your slinky dress was discarded on the bathroom floor and JJ’s Versace jacket had been hung haphazardly on the back of his chair, you waited for JJ to get out of the shower and join you in bed. You flicked through the photos that you’d taken or been sent of the night, landing on your favourite of you and JJ that Talia had sent you once you’d piled into the Uber.

You’d been forcing JJ to cycle through a whole album of poses, making sure you got at least one decent one from the night as you and JJ were renowned for taking the blurriest of pictures. Simon had made a quip about how JJ was whipped and JJ had sniped back. You’d burst out into laughter, head tilted back, as JJ stared at you lovingly. The picture captured it perfectly; JJ’s arm tucked around your waist, your hand hooked over his shoulder, the look in JJ’s eyes that you knew was reserved for only you…

“Whaddya lookin at?”, JJ asked, jumping onto the bed next to you and yanking you into his arms. You showed him the photo over your shoulder. “It’s cute. Send me it”, he told you. Once JJ had removed himself from your back, you rolled over so you could face him. You watched as he received the picture and immediately went to set it as his lock screen. “What?”, he asked defensively when you fixed him with a soft look.

“It’s just cute”, you told him, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. JJ’s hands came to your hips, guiding you over to sit on his lap. “I love you”, you whispered, resting your forehead against his. JJ nudged his head forward, dropping another kiss onto the corner of your mouth before looking up and meeting your eyes.

“I love you too, more than you’ll ever know”.

#jj olatunji #ksi #ksi imagine #jj olatunji imagine #ksi oneshot #jj olatunji oneshot #sidemen imagine #sidemen oneshot #sidemen #sidemen imagines #ksi x reader #jj olatunji x reader #uk youtube imagine #uk youtube

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adultalternative · 3 years ago

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2021 best of. At least I beat my time last year and actually wrote?

Starcrossed- More of an All for You divorce album than a Butterfly, in a 'it stinks, but whatever. Now do you want the wedding china that I'm unloading?' kind of way. I didn't like it at first because of the tracklist making the songs feel too samey (Also, even this long into the new music model, I'm not used to songs being under 3 minutes). The movie and listening to the songs out of order helped a lot. The best songs are justified, simple times, and camera roll. An interesting example of the Glass Animals/Tame Impala sound.

If I can't have love, I want power- Halsey's first impressive album, to me. Really glad this body of work came out. Best songs are you asked for this, Girl with a gun, and One Eye closed.

Lately I feel Everything- Another fun project, another great side to Willow. I like the different types of alternative rock on it. Listen to Naive, Extra, and Gaslighter, as well as F**k You.

3:33- Did I lose interest in Tinashe now that she’s independent and there’s less of a bad guy or goal for her music career? Yes. Is this album still good? Yes. My favorite songs are Shy Guy and Pasadena.

No gods No Masters- Yes, I would say that their last three albums have been their most similar to each other (See all the Record Store Day songs included in the bonus disc) as songs that would play in a Deadly Class type of genre show about young adults, but that says more about alternative rock nowadays than Garbage. That said, I still enjoy the industrial vibes on this one. I like The Creeps, Anonymous XXX, and This City Will Kill You. It was interesting hearing the Eurythmics influence in songs like The Men Who Rule the World.

Texis- Hyperpop gone rock. Locust Laced is that song. I'm Not down’ is startlingly on point for this point in the pandemic, and Sweet75 is a great opener.

Play with the Changes- Rochelle Jordan is the closest that I liked to dance pop this year. A great combination of UK garage and alternative R&B.

New Long Leg- I guess this is usually when my list is what I’m in the mood for and I’m in the mood for post-punk. Scratchcard lanyard is cool, and if you haven’t yet, watch the music video! I don’t understand what Her Hippo is about but it makes me sad. I like the drums in More Big Birds.

Soberish- Casualties of my schedule change. Not as familiar as I could be. Spanish Doors is both sad and relatable. If you like Liz Phair’s character studies of men like Soap Star Joe and Uncle Alvarez, listen to Hey Lou. Meanwhile, In there is very new and trip hoppy for Liz. These songs are more like her EPs Juvenilia and comeandgetit, and whitechocolatespaceegg outtakes instead of, say, her Girly Sound songs.

Who am I?- Precursor for the Avril Lavigne album this year. It might just be 2000’s pop rock, but if the formula isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Listen to You Don’t Own Me and Fall to Pieces.

Unlimited Ammo- Fun hyperpop, that has both songs that are ethereal and wintry, like Steel, and great bangers like Finish Him.

Pinkpantheress- I enjoy the drum and bass sounds as well as the wistful 19.

Pink Noise- A different kind of going pop. It’s like if the group We Are King made more music. Very lush. I like Magical, Got Me, and Church Girl.

Screen violence- A great combination of alternative rock and synthpop. Lauren’s voice has a lot of urgency. I like Nightmares, How Not to Drown, and He Said She Said.

Pearl Charles- Good country and soft rock combination. Listen to Only for Tonight for disco, and Impostor and Slipping Away for soft rock.

Flux- Countlessth year-of best for me, but I have finally decided to let go of my various reservations and just enjoy. I like Lessen the Damage, On the Level, and As Strange as it Seems. For alternative rock music what Light Years is to disco.

Homegrown- I love the saxophone sample in Slow Down. I like Dysfunctional and Come Over. Good combination of contemporary and alternative R&B.

Death of a Cheerleader- Lux is THAT song. Kind of cheating because I like Popular, a cover of the Nada Surf song released January 2022, more than the album. Sort of how TIME has people on influential lists for potential influence in the future.

Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 3- See Poppy’s review for umpteeneth great project. I like So Cold, Syrup, and Cashmere.

Non-fiction- great post punk. I like Violent & Paranoid.

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uhlikzsuzsanna · 3 years ago

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SPOILER WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t seen all of Season 1 of “Loki,” currently streaming on Disney Plus.

Ever since “Loki” first premiered in June, Kate Herron, who directed all six episodes of the Marvel Studios series, has had to pretend like she knew far less than she really does. For one, she couldn’t acknowledge that the homages to sci-fi classics like “Blade Runner” and “Brazil” that she’d baked into the elaborate sets for the Time Variance Authority — the cosmic bureaucracy tasked with maintaining the sacred timeline — were “meant to be sinister” rather than just “playful and quirky.”

For another, Herron was delighted to see fans theorizing after the very first episode that Kang the Conqueror — a character already set to appear in the Marvel Studios feature “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania,” as played by Jonathan Majors — was really pulling the strings of the TVA. But until the finale streamed last Wednesday, she couldn’t even hint that those fans were only half right: Majors does play the mastermind of the TVA, but he’s a variant of Kang referred to as He Who Remains. It’s only after He Who Remains encounters Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his female variant counterpart Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino), and Sylvie plunges a blade into his heart, that the multiverse is reborn, creating the possibility for Kang the Conqueror to emerge.

Again, though: Herron couldn’t acknowledge any of that, even to those closest to her.

“Nothing has prepared me better for working with Marvel than playing tabletop games with my friends,” she says with a laugh. “It definitely taught me how to have a good poker face. You have to hide your hand — and sometimes lie.”

Now, thankfully, all of that is behind her — as is “Loki” itself. Despite receiving widespread acclaim for her assured, ambitious, and visually sumptuous work directing the show, Herron says she has decided not to return for Season 2 of the series.

“I gave it everything — in my soul, in my heart, everything,” she says. “I feel so proud of the work we’ve done. And yeah, I’ll be enjoying Season 2 as a fan.”

She’s quick to sing the praises of everyone she worked with at Marvel, and she says she’s “sure” she’ll work again with the studio. For now, however, she’s ready to take a holiday, and then turn to a project she’s writing herself “that’s really close to my heart that I really want to make.”

“It’s my own decision, but I just feel like my part with ‘Loki’ is finished now and I’m just excited to see where his story goes,” she says.

Before she parts ways for good, however, Herron spoke with Variety about bringing Jonathan Majors into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, what she thought of the shocking revelation about infinity stones and what she would like to see happen in Season 2.

She always knew “Loki” would introduce Kang and the Multiverse…

From the very start, Herron says, she and head writer Michael Waldron knew that their six-episode run of “Loki” would always end with Loki and Sylvie meeting He Who Remains at his citadel, the result of which would cause the creation of the multiverse.

As Episode 6 makes clear, both of these events were massive turning points for the future of the MCU — and Herron still can’t quite believe she got to be the one to make them a reality.

“We were just, like, waiting to be told, ‘Actually, guys, we’ve had a change [of heart],'” Herron says. Instead, Herron says she and “Quantumania” director Peyton Reed participated in casting Majors in the role.

“I was just like, pinch me,” she says. “I can’t believe I was at the table for that, because I know it was such a big decision for them all.”

Herron also decided to have Majors provide the voices for all three “Timekeepers” who are supposedly at the head of the TVA, but are revealed by Sylvie to be nothing more than “mindless androids.”

“We didn’t have someone cast for those voices,” she says. “I remember thinking, well, ‘Wizard of Oz’ is clearly a reference for us. We should have the wizard. It’d be great if it’s Jonathan. So we sent him all the art of the timekeepers. And he just kind of came up with these incredible voices for each of them.”

…but not with a cliffhanger.

The most significant decision of the season, though, may be that it ends with a giant cliffhanger, when Loki discovers he’s in a brand new reality for the TVA in which Mobius (Owen Wilson) and Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku) don’t even recognize him. But while Herron knew how this season of “Loki” would end, at first, she did not know that there would be any more seasons after it.

“When I started, there wasn’t a discussion of Season 2, exactly,” she says. “It was just that season of ‘Loki.’ As we got deeper into production, everyone was very happy, and obviously there’s so much to explore with Loki. It felt like we should continue the story. So I think the cliffhanger ending came in later in the process.”

Herron says she sprinkled in some hints to viewers that Loki is in a new timeline, like redressing sets to look slightly off, and recasting Eugene Cordero’s TVA receptionist Casey as a hunter headed to the armory in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. But her favorite bit is that the final line — said by Mobius to Loki — is the same as the first line spoken in the show, by a woman in the Gobi desert, also to Loki: “Who are you?”

“That was kind of the question of the whole first season,” Herron says.

She was just as shocked about the Infinity Stones as everyone else.

In the first episode, Loki discovers to his horror that not only does his magic not work inside the TVA, but Infinity Stones — heretofore believed to be the most powerful objects in the known universe — are just inert rocks there. The revelation sent shockwaves across the Marvel fandom; Herron was right there with them.

“That was in Michael’s script when I first got it to pitch [for the directing job],” she says. “I remember being like, ‘WHAT?! You put me through so much!’ But then I thought, ‘Oh, it’s kind of genius, because it shows how powerful the TVA are. Who are these people? What is this place?'”

Herron especially appreciated how her shock — and the audience’s — mirrored Loki’s own as the rug gets pulled out from under him. “I was quite excited by it,” she says. “It really shows you that there’s a new power in the MCU — and it’s not what we we spent the last decade dedicating our lives to.”

She told Kevin Feige she wanted gender parity among her crew.

Prior to “Loki,” Herron’s most high profile job was directing the second half of the first season of the Netflix dramedy “Sex Education.” She got the “Loki” job thanks to a 60-page pitch memo that filled out just about every detail of the world of the show. After hiring her, she says Marvel Studios chief Kevin Feige asked her, “What are your terms?”

“This was the first time I was gonna get to hire my heads of department on a television show I worked on,” she says. “I was like, I’d really love [the crew] to be 50/50 across gender.”

Herron says she wasn’t out to fill any jobs on the film with a specific gender. But, she says, “There aren’t enough women in these roles. They’re out there. It’s a lack of opportunity. It’s not a lack of interest.”

She did end up hiring two women for critical roles that are still rarely occupied by women: cinematographer Autumn Durald (“The Sun Is Also a Star”) and composer Natalie Holt (History’s “Knightfall”).

“I felt like she was inside my mind,” Herron says of Durald. “We have the same taste. And I love the way that she talks about light as a character.”

Herron hired Holt unusually early for a composer, after she’d completed editing the first episode during the pandemic shutdown. She knew that the particular sci-fi film noir look of the show that she was developing with Durald needed similarly unique music, and she liked that part of Holt’s pitch was focusing on Loki’s identity as a character.

“Her music then started to inspire how I wanted to shoot other scenes,” Herron says. She’s especially enamored of Holt’s vision for her dynamic and foreboding theme for the TVA.

“She was like, ‘Oh, let’s have that theme be Kang’s’ — well, He Who Remains, I guess, in our show. But I hope that will go on to be Kang’s theme. That was the real fun of it is that you feel like he’s really played a hand now across the whole show, because you realize that music is his music.”

Herron, Durald, and Holt all deliver distinctive and superlative work that’s nothing like the MCU has quite seen before — and nothing quite like anything previously in their careers, either. And that’s entirely the point.

“I think for us, it was about just showing people what we could do and that we could do it at this level,” Herron says.

The episode in which Loki comes out as bisexual was inspired by Alfonso Cuarón and Richard Linklater.

Every episode of “Loki” features multiple extended scenes of two characters just talking to one another, a rarity in a comic book production. Herron says that cutting Episode 1 together during the pandemic lockdown and seeing the scenes between Loki and Mobius (Owen Wilson) play out so well “definitely gave us confidence” to continue that rhythm for the rest of the show.

That was especially true for Episode 3. Written by Bisha K. Ali (who went on to create the upcoming Marvel Studios series “Ms. Marvel”), the episode is essentially an extended meet-cute between Loki and Sylvie as they get to know each other on a planet doomed for total annihilation.

“Bisha’s reference was ‘Before Sunrise’ and ‘Children of Men,'” says Herron. “And it lit my brain on fire. It was kind of weird. It was almost like a bottle episode in the sense that we’re just with the two characters, but obviously, it’s Marvel, right? So they’re bonding in this Apocalypse, which also feels very Loki at the same time.”

That episode is best known for making Marvel Studios history, when Loki casually mentions that he’s had dalliances with both men and women. Herron says that when she first interviewed for the job, she asked if the show was going to acknowledge Loki’s sexuality, which had long been established in the comics as bisexual or pansexual.

“I think everyone wanted to acknowledge it,” she says. “It was just really about giving a care and consideration and doing it in the right way. I think everyone knew it was gonna be quite a big moment. So it was just really about doing it in a way that felt respectful. And honoring it.”

Herron also confirms what many fans had suspected, that she deliberately made the lighting scheme for the scene evoke the blue, purple and red of the bisexual flag. “We knew what we were doing with that scene,” she says with a smile.

She has a lot of ideas for what she’d like to see in Season 2.

Since Herron will be watching Season 2 of “Loki” only “as a fan,” she is also free to wildly speculate as to what she’d most like to see happen — like how, wherever Loki story leads, “we’ve opened the door” for the character to explore his sexuality with men as well as women.

Otherwise? She says she wants to know where Judge Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) goes to when she leaves the TVA in search, she tells Mobius, of “free will.”

“I love her,” Herron says. “Gugu used to always call her an indoor girl, which made me laugh, but she is. She’s in the office, but she used to be this kick-ass Hunter. So I’m like, Okay, well, where’s her path going?”

Herron is also keen to learn more about Hunter B-15’s backstory — since she deliberately decided to hide it in the scene in Episode 4 when Sylvie shows B-15 her repressed memories as a variant.

“I was like, we shouldn’t see her memories,” Herron says. “It’s a character that thought they had power and realizes they have no power. It felt really powerful to at least give her some power in that scenario. The memories are private. They’re hers.” She pauses. “Also as a fan, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, who is she?!'”

“And obviously, you know, Loki and Sylvie?” Herron continues, on a roll. “He’s in a completely different reality. What’s going to happen to him? How will he get back? Or will he get back? And where’s Sylvie? She’s still in the Citadel? And the multiverse of it all. What the hell is going to happen?!”

Herron chuckles at her own excitement. “So I think there’s so many questions to be answered, and so much more road to travel with all our characters,” she says. “You know, I’m really proud that I got to set up Loki’s story here. But there’s so many different aspects of his identity and personality that’s yet to be explored. I’m excited to see where it goes.”

#Loki #Loki series #Tom Hiddleston #Kate Herron #Jonathan Majors #variety interview #2021.07.17

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aconstantstateofbladerunner · 4 years ago

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101 Open MHA Gen Prompts

I had a very long ask game where people gave me fake titles and I came up with fic ideas to go with them. Multiple people asked to use some of them as prompts, and some of my friends have lately maligned the lack of gen prompts out there, so I decided to compile them all into a single post. Almost all of these are gen, aka not shipping, but you can do what you want I’m not your boss. Everything is free and open to use WITH CREDIT, so have fun with my word vomit.

1. In Dreams I Had the Sun - Being the number one hero isn’t all it’a cracked up to be, Toshinori realizes early on

2. The Chainlink Fence that Held the Ocean - In his new book post-retirement, All Might opens up about his regrets, struggles with mental health, and his issues with the hero system as a whole. The backlash is swift and intense.

3. Welcome to the Loud Silence - After an injury, Izuku is rendered deaf.

4. Water Since Turned Red - After a villain attack nearly kills All Might, the beach where Izuku used to go to find comfort now feels tainted.

5. all scrap left untouched is bound together - A group hero students who failed the provincial license exam for the third time, effectively ending their careers before they start, get together to take revenge on UA’s first years who beat them out.

6. You’ve saved more more times than you know - Times All Might saved people without his powers, just by being a cool, nice dude.

7. No Amount of Tragedy Can Justify Your Actions - A dying All for One tries to justify his centuries of cruelty to an uncaring Toshinori.

8. To Leave a Cage Locked - One for All is conscious and has a will of its own, one that doesn’t always line up with Izuku’s wellbeing.

9. Okay, who let in the Kraken? - Izuku is the reincarnation of an ancient eldritch horror.

10. keep us alive up above - Izuku and Shigaraki get trapped together somewhere. Izuku knows he needs the villain’s help to survive and escape, but the other would rather they both die.

11. The world will revolve around me neither less - The ebbs and flows of AFO’s influence over the years.

12. More Roulette, Not Russian - Kids get their quirks swapped.

13. Patron Saints - Toshinori teaches a class about pre-quirk superhero comic characters and their influence.

14. Don't Come Back - Touya Todoroki’s first few weeks after a severe injury resulted in his father abandoning him.

15. The Blessed and the Fool - Toshinori meets up with a few of his ua classmates after retiring.

16. Not Your Sacrifice - Some of the other kids have started adopting some of Izuku’s self sacrificing habits and the teachers are concerned.

17. Break in the Storm - Villains use a power outage as an opening to break into ua.

18. One Day Those Consequences Will Finally Catch Up - Even though the teachers don’t take her concerns seriously, Inko saves every piece of evidence regarding people hurting her son.

19. a garden in their eyes - Izuku meets a fan who got injured after trying to step into a villain fight, just like he did, and it makes him question some things.

20. what could have been, if not for you - After Inko divorces him, Hisashi’s goes to the press to say All Might stole his wife and son.

21. Promised Misery - All Might finds out the severity of Bakugou’s bullying, and warns him he’s on thin ice with him.

22. Fly Up Higher, Blossom Brighter - Izuku has to write a paper for middle school about being positive, intercut with all the bullshit he has to deal with.

23. Libre Me from Hell - One of Izuku’s new quirks is spiral related.

24. No One to Blame but Yourself - Izuku’s kindness doesn’t extend to murderers, tragic backstory or not.

25. At Its Finest - Izuku accidentally gets involved in a hero commission coverup.

26. A Rising Issue - Izuku starts developing more severe side effects of his injuries. He’s convinced he’s under the influence of a quirk, while the adults thing he’s finally gone too far hurting himself.

27. What you are in the Dark - Izuku usually keeps most of his anger to himself until he can’t.

28. nowhere to go - Inko moves into UA after their home was destroyed.

29. Something Without - My theory about the 2 OFA vestiges that are blurred out is they don’t approve of izuku as a successor. Izuku tries to figure out why.

30. Walking with a Ghost - Toshinori joins the OFA dreams while he’s in a coma. He gets to reunite with nana, and is more open to Izuku about his past and feelings. Part of his starts to wonder if it’s worth waking up, since he will die and join the others eventually.

31. Death By Crying - Izuku is affected by a quirk that will suffocate him if he expresses any emotion.

32. Justice is Subjective - The hero commission gets to Shigaraki before AFO does.

33. Undo / Underdog - Death loop fic. Izuku keeps reliving the day he met all might after being killed by the sludge villain. he has to find a way to break the loop and survive, but he gets s little weaker every time he restarts.

34. Like Wildfire - A rumor that Izuku is All Might’s bio son picks up steam, and the characters have to decide whether to deny it but risk suspicion or play along and add a new layer to the lies protecting one for all.

35. Once Upon A December - All Might and Inko actually met in the past trope.

36. Some Legends Are Told - All Might’s first interview post-retirement.

37. Will The Real Mentor Please Stand Up - Aizawa considers himself the better teacher, but a lot of the kids seem to like All Might more.

38. I don't want the cure, I want the POISON! - Inko is killed in a hit and run, and Izuku becomes desperate to find the killer.

39. I will kill my heart before I dance on stage for these bigots - Izuku is interviewed as a rising star of UA, and the interviewer brings in some of his old bullies because they claimed to be his friends from middle school. Izuku does not play along.

40. Split Ends - A quirk gives Izuku brief visions of what would have happened if he made different decisions.

41. Dreamless Sleep - A One for All dream leaves Izuku with a cryptic half-warning, and he desperately experiments to try and figure out how to trigger the visions to get the rest of it.

42. toxic flowers and pretty blades - Young Inko escapes the constricting life of her cruel wealthy family by becoming a vigilante.

43. The Suns we Orbit - Some of the other teachers believe Izuku is too codependent on Toshinori, and separate them for a time.

44. Submerged - Similar to those buried alive fics only someone’s in a box at the bottom of the ocean.

45. Deprive - Izuku also loses his stomach to an injury, and struggles to adjust to the necessary lifestyle changes.

46. The ashes fall like snow - Post Kamino cleanup.

47. Home will always be here - Inko cares for Izuku after he’s sent home due to “trouble at work study” but he refuses to clarify what that means.

48. Playing Favorites - A look at several times where Izuku was punished, while Bakugou got off scot free.

49. Elusive Dreams - Some kind of training or issue forces the kids to stay away for several consecutive day, and they start losing it.

50. Fracture - Izuku struggles through physical therapy after a severe injury that leaves his hero career in question.

51. Starlight, Starbright - Space cadet au

52. Someone in Your Corner - Gran Torino looking after Nana, Toshi, and finally Izuku through the years.

53. I cast magic missile into the darkness - Generic “the gang plays d&d” fic.

54. One Month At A Time - Izuku breaks a limb, and has to let in heal naturally over the course of several months.

55. Head Above Water - Izuku runs out of his pain meds and can’t get access to more doses for a while, so he has to endure not only the pain, but the withdrawal symptoms.

56. Are you going to leave a path to trace - All Might uses a new strategy to try and get Izuku to be less self sacrificial: what about all the young kids who are going to look up to him?

57. The View from Halfway Down - Izuku realizes that a risky move has just landed him with a potentially life threatening injury, but the fight it still going.

58. The Dust Bites Back - A villain All Might defeated early in his career is back and out for revenge.

59. The Absence of your Worth - Nighteye thinks he’s put together a rock solid case for why izuku isn’t worthy of One for All. All Might’s response is to ask if he has something against quirkless people.

60. Behind the Screens Nobody is Afraid - All Might explains some of the context of his most popular hero videos to Izuku. They are much more tragic than the media has spun them in hindsight.

61. Under the Light of the Moon - Someone gets turned into a werewolf. And I ain’t talking the wattpad piss shit. I’m talking full-on back-breaking monstrous transformations into a bloodthirsty abomination set to Bad Moon Rising.

62. some dreams were made to be broken - Bakugou crosses a line and finally gets expelled.

63. You Say You're Into Closure - Izuku finally beats Bakugou in a one on one fight fair and square, but Bakugou is a sore loser.

64. Something or Someone Missing - AU’s memories of Izuku get wiped, but those closest to him can’t help but feel an absence.

65. Too Little Too Late - Izuku’s father returns to find he’s been replaced.

66. Collecting Dust - Inko goes through the stuff Izuku didn’t take to the dorms.

67. Where the souls of wanderers go - Toshi meets up with a retired hero support group.

68. Fragility of Trust - Suspected traitor au

69. no one answered - Izuku is trapped in a cell in a building that’s collapsing in slow motion due to a quirk.

70. Eye of the Storm - One of the other kids has a panic attack for the first time between public appearances. izuku has never seen from from the outside.

71. To Whom It May Concern - The kids find a mysterious collection of letters from previous students hidden in the ceiling of the classroom. Some are ominous, some are incomprehensible. Aizawa has no answers. They enthusiastically go to try and solve the mystery within, but that excitement quickly diminishes the more they find out.

72. Of Popsicles and Ponytails - All Might gets in a discussion with the other teachers about whether the Clark Kent glasses thing would actually work. All Might bets them it does, so he goes around town with no disguise other than his hair being up, and no one bats an eye.

73. All Men are Not Born Equal - Word gets out to the public that izuku used to be quirkless. Everyone finds out just how deep anti-quirkless sentiments run when some begin to question whether a quirkless kid should be at ua, regardless of whether or not he has a quirk now.

74. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies - Something about encountering death in person for the first time being the dividing line between child and adult.

75. Sins of the Father - All for One has had many children over the centuries, and has made numerous attempts to groom them into the ideal heir with several different methods. None of them worked though.

76. Where The Dead Come To Rest - The kids come home after a long, grueling mission where they saw some shit, and are too tired to process what they went through. They take off their gear for plain clothes, then sit in the common room in silence long into the night, not wanting to open themselves up but also not wanting to be alone.

77. Rivalry - Nighteye tries to pit Izuku and Mirio against one another. It goes right over Mirio’s head, but Izuku becomes convinced the other boy is in on Nighteye’s plan to wear him down until he gives up One for All.

78. A Subtle Language - All Might and Nana never said out loud that they loved each other, but little things told them that they did. All Might hopes to pass a similar love down to his own successor. But Izuku is very different than himself as a kid, and he needs to learn a new subtle language of affection.

79. It’s Gone - One for All stops working one day.

80. A Sight For Sore Eyes - All Might looking after Izuku in the aftermath of the second movie.

81. Loose Lips (sink ships) - Bakugou blurts out something about One for All during a rage, so the rest of the class jump on him and Izuku for answers.

82. No Expectations - Word gets out that All Might is going to choose a successor. None of the theories or speculation online resemble Izuku in the slightest.

83. Eden was Only a Garden - Izuku gets hit with a quirk that erases some of his most traumatic memories, but in doing so loses part of who he is.

84. Run it Down - With all Izuku’s new quirks and his incredible skill, some of the other students with similar powers (Iida, Sero, Uraraka) start to feel like izuku is upstaging them. And it affects their friendship.

85. Fool's Gold - Bakugou grows even more jealous of Izuku having One for All, and his relationship with All Might. He thinks that if he could just prove himself to be more worthy, All Might would change his mind and name him his successor. But in reality, he ends up jeopardizing the relationship they already have.

86. somewhere down the road - The final deadline for Nighteye’s predictions passes, and All Might lives. He debates telling Izuku, as even though it would be a weight off the boy’s mind, he doesn’t want to jinx it. He will still die eventually after all.

87. Just For You - All Might has certain rules and boundaries for fan interactions that he completely ignores for Izuku.

88. if these walls could talk (their whispers would be maddening) - Montage of training accidents in a ‘cursed’ ua gym

89. If Only I Could... - Nighteye tells Mirio about One for All, including that he thinks he’s more deserving than Izuku and he plans to pressure him into giving it up. Mirio struggles with the knowledge that his mentor, someone he respected more than anything, only saw him as a replacement for All Might, meanwhile watching Izuku strain under the pressure of that mentor’s impossible expectations.

90. This is a Test Designed to Provoke an Emotional Response - shameless Blade Runner AU

91. Once and for All - Retelling of the Superman story “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way?” with All Might. Some new heroes use much more aggressive and violent tactics against villains while also upstaging All Might. That, and there general approval from the public cause All Might to question his moral code.

92. Sitting In The Rain - Tsuyu likes to just sit out in the rain sometimes. Not do anything, just sit there. Some friends decide to join her.

93. At Sundown - Mysterious creatures start attacking ua every night. The gang works tirelessly during the day to find the cause and a solution, while defending their school and each other at night.

94. The 1000th time's the charm - Uraraka has been practicing a new move in secret but they just can’t get it right. She wants it to be perfect before showing it off. But one attempt gets her seriously hurt while training alone at night in one of the gyms, and she’s too hurt to get up to the phone to call for help.

95. Sunflower Seeds - All Might attempts to start a garden as a new hobby.

96. What It Means To Be Human - Sun god Toshi starts living among people.

97. Eyes on Me - All Might teaches Izuku some unarmed fighting moves to defend himself from bullies.

98. one remains - Izuku has developed all but one of the quirks he’s slated to, and he has no idea what it will be. Anxiety ensues.

99. Come Back Home - Izuku vanishes from campus and everyone assumes he was kidnapped, but in reality he ran away to try and clear his head after a depressive spiral. He goes by train as far away as he can until he comes to his senses and calls the others.

100. I Won - Izuku accidentally managed to kill Shigaraki during a skirmish, and while everyone around him praises his heroics, he struggles to deal with the fact that he killed someone.

101. Ivory Tower - All Might grapples with how much izuku suffered as a quirkless person, how he could have done more for quirkless rights in his time as a hero, and how now people may not care as much because he’s retired.

Reminder to credit me if you use any of these prompts, and a special thanks to everyone who submitted titles!

#mha #bnha #mha prompts #bnha prompts #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #dad might #all might #toshinori yagi #midoriya izuku #deku #bakugou katsuki #aconstantstateoffanfiction

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happymetalgirl · 4 years ago

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Five* Outside albums of 2020

I do this little list every year of my favorite albums that fall mostly “outside” the metal sphere and weren’t so metal-adjacent that I reviewed them formally during the year. The past three times I have written this little piece, I have kept it to five, but *this year, I’ve just had a hard time narrowing it down, so I figured, why do that? Well, I could go through a few dozen albums or so that I fucked with this year outside the metal sphere, but I’m compromising with the addition of a new, quick (we’ll see) honorable mention section.

So, in the interest of keeping my verbose tendencies in check, I’ll cut this introduction off and get into the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

Anna von Hausswolff - All Thoughts Fly

I did review Anna von Hausswolff’s previous record, Dead Magic, back in 2018 as part of my bunch of metal albums reviews that year, because it was kind of tangentially metallic. It wasn’t a lot at a technical level, only a few metallic elements here no there, but it had a lot of harrowing qualities that I thought metal listeners might appreciate. For the Swedish singer and pipe-organist, that album really was the closest she ever came to metal’s territory, and I don’t think any flirting with the genre was intentional on her part. Most of what she does is haunting, neoclassical, organ-based music that’s usually not as wild as what Dead Magic was, and this year’s album is a real scale back to her roots and an appreciation for the pipe organ. While I do miss her bewitching vocals on this entirely instrumental album, All Thoughts Fly stands well on its own merits as both a solid tribute to von Hausswolff’s organ playing and as a beautiful, incredibly immersive ambient album that does so much with its relatively small palette. I’ve talked a few times on here about really shitty ambient music that’s approached with a clearly lazy attitude because of its supposed background role. Rather than being made to be ignored, All Thoughts Fly pulls you in and around in a swirl of lush sounds that aren’t too common in ambient music, and with a relatively minimal approach, relying on the naturally serene tambre of the instrument to fill the space with a lightening, floating ambience and well-structured movements to do the gentle moving. It’s a beautiful example of what an ambient album can achieve if it’s actually made with a lot of love and care.

Shabaka & The Ancestors - We Are Sent Here by History

Okay, that first one went pretty long. I’ll try to keep the rest of these here relatively short. Sons of Kemet band leader, Shabaka Hutchings, takes his other group on slightly less chaotic Afro-jazz odessey that what Sons of Kemet have been delivering us. While more contained on the surface within the genre’s usual light grey areas, Shabaka & The Ancestors move with freedom and flexibility on this album in a way that highlights the natural appeals of the Afro-jazz sound pallet through constantly engaging arrangements from masters of the craft.

Lady Gaga - Chromatica

I know we’re all well aware of Lady Gaga, but the pop icon has been relatively quietly been making the best music of her career since taking the edge rather than the center of the spotlight, from 2013’s diverse Artpop to 2016’s more bare-bones Joanne. And now, after her mellower, more traditional Americana-influenced album in 2016, Gaga cranks the volume and the fun way back up. Chromatica is a blast of an album whose wide span of dance pop albums influences new and old keeps it varied and lively all the way through. This album feels very much like it’s Gaga unleashed, just doing her thing and having a good time with a bunch of dance music styles that she’s always loved, and it’s impossible not to feel that enthusiasm secondhand, and groove the hell out along with it.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Abel

Black Thought has had nothing to prove since the relative inactivity of The Roots this past decade, but he has sure been rapping as if he does have something to prove on his solo work. The Philadelphia rapper put out a couple of EPs back in 2018 that showcased his impressive modern lyricism and flow, and the third, LP-sized installment in the series is just another offering of further proof of the man’s lyrical chops. There’s a little bit of an understated delivery in the music overall, but Black Thought really lets his words speak for themselves more than his moderate bravado. It’s not super flashy because it doesn’t need to be.

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Indie folk has always loved to soak in the puddles of personal sadness, but Californian singer Phoebe Bridgers takes the style to whole new depths of personally gripping, bordering on the outright emo, and that is by all means a compliment for rather than a shot at. The album’s candid journaling of Bridgers’ personal struggles is so tangible and so genuine that it would probably rival Connor Oberst’s best work with Bright Eyes. It is just a beautiful, yet tear-inducing album.

Alright, now on to the five “main” “non-metal” albums of the “list proper”.

Hexvessel - Kindred

Hexvessel are a Finnish six-piece whose sixth album of psychedelic folk here manages to touch on the same haunting, gothic tones that groups like Opeth and Gazpacho do at their most forest-y. Indeed, Kindred is an enchanting album, with sprawling styles and a full-bodied sonic pallet to keep it interesting the whole way through. And it’s as strong in its more bombastic song like that which opens the album as it is in its more stripped back acoustic tracks like that which closes it. Songs like “Magical and Damned” straight-up evoke Mount Eerie, while songs like “Kindred Moon” hearken to The Beatles at their most minimal and folky, and there’s plenty of spooky, mystical energy to go around. Definitely one of the best finds of the year for me.

The Strokes - The New Abnormal

Coming at the end of a seven-year gap between it and their previous album, 2013’s somewhat fan-polarizing Comedown Machine (which I liked a lot), The Strokes’ aptly named return is a return to the spotlight, but hardly to normalcy or the musical roots in garage rock that so many of the band’s fans have been sweating for. Twisting the electronic alternative rock of their Angles era into some odd, but mesmerizing forms, The New Abnormal is a subtly wild ride of an album through lots of melancholic overtones and undertones whose impact is made all the more potent by the occasional teasing of sorts with the few more traditionally rockin’ moments on here. It doesn’t take long to pull back the seemingly preppy synth rock or 80’s rock curtains to find the melancholy beneath “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” and “Bad Decisions”, respectively. But the band aren’t even that subtle with the immediate depression of just the straight-up guitar melodies on songs like “Selfless”, “Not the Same Anymore”, and the chill-inducing soar of “Ode to the Mets”. The album’s prize piece, though, has to be the utterly gorgeous and empathetic minimalist synth song, “At the Door”, whose simple melodies and bare delivery make for one of the most gently heart-piercing songs I know and of my favorite songs of the year and probably my favorite Strokes song ever, as hard as it is to listen to. Welcome back Julien and company.

Rina Sawayama - Sawayama

Quite possibly the best outright pop album I have heard in a long while, Sawayama sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage in the landscape it was born into, making use of a lot of early 2000’s pop rock instrumentation, even some heavy metal guitars here and there, but most importantly, a real sense of passion that seems to be flat-out absent from so much of the pop that I (usually inadvertently) hear. I don’t want to overstate the prominence of the metal elements, but the album does have a bubbling, infectious energy both vocally and instrumentally from front to back that the occasional bursts of heavy guitars between Sawayama’s charismatic, dance-inducing performances do provide a good snapshot of. Furthermore, there’s a rich diversity of song types across the album that dive into the pop sphere beyond the standard trend-hopping that dominates streaming playlists and make for a dynamic and fun, rather than disjointed, pop album. And that’s all only possible with the consistently tight compositions o the album. Indeed, this is one of the best pop albums I have ever heard, certainly in recent years.

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

clipping. are the second artist to be on here two years in a row after last year’s spectacularly spooky There Existed an Addiction to Blood, and Denzel Curry’s one-two punch of TA13OO and Zuu in 2018 and 2019 respectively. There Existed an Addiction to Blood was a thrilling and fresh take on many tropes of horrorcore with the band’s already forward-thinking and creative noise-driven instrumental production guiding harrowing stories of femme fatales and street violence in a more modern setting that often flipped the script on victims and perpetrators, as well as settings themselves. Visions of Bodies Being Burned is quite literally a continuing sequel to that explosive album, also released in time for Halloween this year; the material was recorded in the same sessions as the previous album and in the same unique vein. Consequently, there’s not really a whole lot I can say about this album in contrast with the last without getting way too in-depth and spoiling the fun. Whereas MC Daveed Diggs’ hooks were one of the biggest strong points of last year’s album, the creatively noisy production is the big star on this album. The fans seem to be leaning a bit more toward this year’s release, but I think I’m still a little partial to There Existed an Addiction to Blood. Nevertheless, Visions of Bodies Being Burned is a blood-pumping follow-up not to be missed.

Mac Miller - Circles

The posthumous release from Pennsylvanian rapper Mac Miller captures the man at his most chill and contemplative. The album is more of a minimalist ambient singer-songwriter sort of album than hip hop and its serene atmosphere becomes kind of inadvertently tragic in the posthumous context, but it serves as a beautiful swan song for the creative rapper whose struggles with addiction sadly prevented him from being able to bask in the deserved wide appreciation of his sixth album. Circles is a soulful, bittersweet cap to Mac Miller’s legacy that I think anyone will be able to feel the love and raw humanness of.

#Black Thought #Streams of Thought #Streams of Thought Vol 3 #Anna Von Hausswolff #All Thoughts Fly #The Strokes #The New Abnormal #Hexvessel #Kindred #Rina Sawayama #Sawayama #Phoebe Bridgers #Punisher #Lady Gaga #Chromatica #Shabaka and the Ancestors #We Are Sent Here by History

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chadsinclair · 3 years ago

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artxyra · 5 years ago

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In Her Darkest Moment - Part 2

Part 1 | 2 | 3

Note: The song inspiration came from Utada Hikaru & Skrillex Face My Fears. Yes, there will be a part 3. It just felt right to end the part where it was rather than continue it to be a completed two-shot story. Don’t know when the next part will be out but I did start it.

Marinette’s day started off okay. Her usual clients emailed her for some design commission, her lovers decided that today they would the day that they make breakfast for her, but the day comes to still when she sees an official letter in the mail.

You Are Invited to Lycée Fantômette Dupont Reunion!

Oh yes, an invitation to the worse years of her life. It still amazes her how she was able to graduate with all her absent days and constant visits to the dean’s office.

“Did you see the news?” Marinette turns to see Kagami, dress in a casual black and red jumpsuit.

Marinette sighs and places the letter down. She didn’t know how to answer this. There were already too many memories running through her brain to even think of a proper reply.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Kagami comforts placing a kiss on the conflicted woman’s cheek. “If it makes you feel any better, we don’t have to go.”

Marinette shakes her head, “No, we should go. I want to see whether or not they have changed enough to understand that her lies have consequences.”

Kagami takes a step back, a hand coving her heart. A smile sneaks it away onto the Japanese’s native woman. “Of course, you would. Should I tell Fe and Luka of your decision?”

Marinette nods, “That would be wise. Actually…I might have something better in mind.” The designer teases biting her bottom lip.

Kagami has known Marinette long enough to know that mischief is that woman’s best friend through thick and thin. Nodding, Kagami notices the time and rushes out of the room. Marinette lets out a small chuckle and returns to reading the letter.

There is never a bad time to face her past, and as much as she blocked out everything regarding her times in Lycée, there were still some good memories. It’s an odd feeling to have ten years’ worth of fear piling in her small body structure, but she didn’t want to linger on to that feeling any longer.

Burying herself in her commissions, Marinette barely heard the slamming of her office door late on that evening.

“This is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” A certain blonde shout to the heavens. Marinette stops her sowing and turns to see one of her closest friends, who’s chest is out and seething. Pushing the fabric aside, the bluenette gets up and lightly push against the blonde’s shoulder.

“What happened?” She asks looking at the blonde in the eyes.

Chloe huffs and folds her arms, “Our favorite liar decided that it would be useful to use your name once more for personal gain.”

Marinette’s bluebell eyes widen. She stands frozen against Chloe. Her breathing quickens as the once buried memories flood their way into her mind. Subconsciously, she touches her shoulder and rubs her forearm.

Chloe quickly notices the woman’s actions and guide her to the futon. Siting blue-haired woman down, Chloe immediately tries to get her to do some breathing exercises. Realizing that wasn’t working, Chloe pulls out her phone calls the others. Luka’s the first to answer.

“She’s having a panic attack,” Chloe immediately states, placing the call on the speaker.

Luka immediate sings a soft lullaby, as Chloe adds Félix and Kagami to the call.

“Netta, listen to us, you are safe, she can’t get to you now.” Félix states in the softest voice he could muster.

As the three lovers try to soothe their love, Chloe paces back and forth thinking of possible ways to get the panic woman out of her attack. She hates seeing Marinette like this, Lycée was hard on all of them and here was the past creeping its way back up to them.

They have created a life outside of lycée, away from their former classmates and tormentors. Marinette became a successful designer despite doing it under a pseudonym named Fortunate Red, Kagami being a fencing instructor and agent, Félix becoming a well-known lawyer, Luka taking off in his solo career as a rock star, and her being the best damn PR specialist for the group.

“I think she’s coming to.” Chloe acknowledges seeing the clouded look in Marinette’s eyes fade away. Immediately after saying that, the three on the phone simultaneously sighs in relief.

“That’s good to hear, Chloe,” Kagami states what they all were thinking. “Please keep an eye on her. We know how much she hates it, but I wouldn’t want to take the risk.” The others were quick to agree but not without promises of being home soon.

The call ends; Marinette shakes the daze away and looks around. “What happened?”

Chloe pinches the bridge of her nose and murmurs, “You don’t want to know. Anyways, as your PR, I advise you to stay away from social media, especially your old accounts.”

Marinette tilts her head sideways, why would Chloe mention her practically dead social media accounts? She hasn’t posted anything on there in ten years—perhaps it was longer than that.

“I won’t. I promise.” Marinette promise. “I think I need to take a walk—a break, maybe. I promise Madeline that I would meet her at the café.”

Chloe gives Marinette a reassuring smile.

“Maybe I should go with you, besides I miss Madeline.” Chloe offers.

“You don’t have to do that; besides, I will have Tikki and Plagg with me.”

“I thought Plagg was with Félix.”

“He didn’t want to listen to another long meeting without cheese being present.” Marinette giggles.

Chloe loves these moments. Moments when Marinette is herself, carefree, and the weight of her past behind her even if it’s for a moment.

“Fine, you can go but the moment Madeline calls us, we’re going in.” Chloe readjusts her purse, “Also tell her to call me, she missed our last dinner date because of the late-night rush at the restaurant.”

Marinette nods and calls for the two kwamis out of their miniature house. Due to Marinette becoming the guardian of Miraculous box once she was fully trained, she felt bad for the kwamis and decided to make them a little house—similar to a dollhouse—for them to live and have fun in. It works out as it gave something to come back to and give them all personal spaces.

“So, Marinette are you going to go to the reunion?” Tikki wonders flying next to her chosen.

Marinette didn’t answer. Her mind wanders off to the possibilities that could happen regarding the decision to go. They always did say the best way to be free is to face the fears that are holding you back.

~*~

Breaking News: Lila Agreste nee Rossi claims that her husband Adrien Agreste is having an affair with a former Lycée classmate!

“I caught them in our bed!” Rossi claims. “This wasn’t the first time, either!”

Headlines: Adrien Agreste remains silent at this acquisition.

Headlines: Are Rossi and Agreste getting a divorce?

Breaking News: Rossi claims that former classmate Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a homewrecker!

~*~

Marinette couldn’t help but feel an enormous amount of guilt. Chloe’s warning may have done her good on the social media part, but it didn’t stop her from seeing the newspaper and hearing the whispers behind her back as she continues with her daily routine.

“You shouldn’t be reading those, Netta. We don’t want you to have another relapse.” Luka states wrapping his arms around her shoulder.

“I-I-I can’t help it.” She stutters, her voice cracking. “I haven’t seen or spoken to any of them in a long time, so why put my name out there?” She ponders covering her face an attempt to hide from the world around her.

“You’re not obligated to attend the reunion.” Luka reminds her, but Marinette shakes her head.

“It won’t do me any good to stay away now. That will only make me look guilty to those that still believe her lies.”

She did have a point. Everyone in their graduating class received the invite and nearly everyone in Marinette’s class believed the lies especially after the photo incident.

Luka sighs and a quick text to Félix.

“I guess I’ll get the car prepared, then.”

Marinette goes to kiss Luka’s cheek, allowing herself to feel a little peace with this decision.

~*~

Lila couldn’t believe how easy it was to bring the Dupont’s everyday Ladybug name back into her crazy schemes for attention and power. All it took was a little bit of blackmailing on some well-known reporters and the waterworks.

No matter what, she will get her happy ending. Lila believed she thought her plan entirely through. Soon Juleka would be able to sway her rock star of a brother into her scheme allowing her to be his lover. Adrien was dead to her. She dried him the minute they got married, but her spot-light fantasy faded away when Gabriel Agreste had to file bankruptcy. It was then that Lila knew she needed someone better, richer, and handsome than the former model.

“I can’t believe that Marinette would do such a thing to you Lila.” Alya spats clearly angered at her former best friend for all the pain she causes the Italian woman.

Cue the waterworks, “It’s true, I caught them. She didn’t bat an eye when she rushed out of the house.”

Alya immediately goes to comfort the teary-eyed black widow.

“I would feel embarrassed for Marinette if she dared showed her face here tonight.” Lila couldn’t help but internally smirk at the damage she has caused.

“Oh look, there’s Rose, Juleka, and Alix over by the punch bowl.” Alya attempts to direct the conversation to something else.

Lila cheekily smiles and allows herself to be dragged over to the punch bowl. Alya immediately greets the small group of women.

“I heard about your divorce, Alya, how are you doing?” Alix cautiously asked despite the concerned look she’s giving to the reporter.

Alya sighs, “It was hard, but we manage to get an agreement for the kids.”

Alya wasn’t alright, she loved Nino with all her being, but when he asked for a divorce, it was out of the blue and she was going through a hard time finding a new journalism agency. Together they have twin boys that were as energetic as their mother when she was teen chasing after Ladybug.

“Oh my, I didn’t realize and here I am in tears about my marriage.” Lila gasps bringing the conversation back on her. Alya gives the Italian woman a soft smile and hands her a glass of punch. “So Juleka, is your brother joining us this evening?”

Juleka shrugs and pulls Rose into a side embrace. “He told me it was possible as his girlfriend is also a part of our graduating class.”

Lila nearly spits out her drink, “G-girlfriend.” She stutters cursing in the back of her mind that her plan was already going down like a sinking ship.

“Uh…yeah. I think he’s planning on proposing soon but we haven’t been in contact since the start of his tour.” Juleka adds cautiously seeing the slight change in Lila’s behavior.

Lila sends Juleka a sheepish smile and turns around to fold her arms against her chest.

“Well I do hope he shows up, it will be nice to see whom he’s dating.” Alya wonders, probably thinking of a new scoop for her blog.

~*~

Marinette is feeling a panic attack approaching, that or a nervous breakdown. Since the last time she saw the news, more information regarding the cheating scandal came to light. Reporters are going at each other throats about the lack of truth and trying to make as much sense as to why this story is just now coming out. Few of them tried to contact her, but she told them they had the wrong number.

“Deep breaths, Netta, we’re almost there.” Félix softly whispers into her ear holding the bluenette’s hand in his own.

Félix’s right, she does need to calm down.

The limo stops in front of the venue that the school provided for such an event. It was time for her to face her fears.

Exiting the limo, Marinette could only wish that she had taken up Tikki’s offer for her to accompany her, but she denied seeing as Félix, Kagami and Luka would be there with her. Even though their poly-relationship is hidden from the public they every much have a plan. Kagami’s dating Luka while she’s dating Félix. They only hope to marry one another one day but they’re happy with their dynamic.

“I’m ready.” Marinette murmurs, but her tense shoulders and quicken breathes would say otherwise.

“Baby steps, Netta, baby steps.” Kagami grabs hold of her black and blue-haired lover’s arm and walks towards the entrance.

Entering the banquet hall, Marinette could spot her other favorite blonde amid a conversation she clearly did not want to be in. Thankfully, Chloe caught sight of them and excuse herself from the conversation.

“Nette!” Chloe exclaims, but not before wishing that her voice was a little bit lowered.

Everyone has their eyes on the group of newcomers. Gossip spread throughout the adults and the majority of it was how Marinette showed her face to them after what she had done to Lila’s marriage.

“How are you doing?” Chloe asks her friend. “Don’t worry, my guys and I are working overtime to get this scandal handled. I’m sure Félix is putting together a case against Rossi and whoever’s involved with this.”

“That would be wrong of me to not help save my Netta’s reputation, Bourgeois,” Félix states wrapping his arms around Marinette’s small waist.

“Félix!” Marinette stares at him in shock. A small weight of negative emotions are lifted from her shoulders.

Félix gives her heartfelt smile and gently place a kiss on her temple.

Very audible gasps fill the ambient sounds.

Alya angerly charges towards the happy group with fire in her eyes. “How could you, Marinette! You show your disgraceful face here and have the audacity to kiss another man when you’re hoeing around with Adrien.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Cesaire. I haven’t seen Agreste in years.” Marinette states clinging to Félix’s blazer.

Alya screeches, her hand making a swing at Marinette. However, if it wasn’t for Félix grabbing her wrist mid-swing, Marinette would have been hurt.

“That is enough, Cesaire.” Félix growls, his cat-like instincts kicking in. “Marinette and I came here to have a good time and it would rude of you to act out at such a formal event.”

He then violently shoves her wrist away. Alya gawks at him.

“Your so-called girlfriend has been hooking up with another man behind your back and you’re acting like everything is okay.” Alya shrieks and if there wasn’t a crowd before, there was one now.

“I have not been hooking up with other men. I love Félix and I would never cheat on him.” Marinette sneers, her fears of the past coming at her was being boiled away by fury red anger. If Hawkmoth was still in action, this would have the perfect time to become Scarlet Moth. The amount of fury, confusion, and sadness ran high at the reunion.

Part 3

#fic: In Her Darkest Moments #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug au #ml au #marinette dupain cheng #ml felix #kagami tsurugi #luka couffaine #more edits to come later #so did you guess the ship right

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cali-holland · 5 years ago

Text

The Friend Zone- Shawn Mendes One Shot

Pairing: Shawn Mendes X Reader

Prompt: Despite being actual best friends, you can’t help but feel jealous when Shawn accidentally friend zones you.

Word Count: 2900

Masterlist Shawn Mendes Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

“Y/N, you made it!” Taylor Swift flashed her classic, red-lipped smile at you as she greeted you in the exclusive bar. Music was blasting and the room was flooded with celebrities of all different fields.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Happy birthday!” You said, giving her a quick hug. About a year ago, you had just been breaking out as an artist when Taylor invited you onto her stage for her 1989 world tour. As a surprise guest, you really weren’t on there that long, but you were still astonished by her performance and the energy of the stadium, even as the seventeen year old that you were.

“I’m so happy you came. I really did miss you.” She replied, despite the two of you only really seeing each other a handful of times in person, “So refreshments are at the bar and there’s a photo booth in that corner.” She pointed to the far side of the room where lights were flashing from a camera.

“Sweet, thanks.” You smiled as she walked off to greet more guests. Feeling extremely young and out-of-place amongst the stars, you went straight to get yourself a drink, trying your best to stay close to the walls.

“Wait, you’re Y/N Y/L/N, right?” You heard a voice ask from beside you. You turned to face the tall stranger.

“Yes, and you’re Shawn Mendes.” You laughed.

“You came on the 1989 tour for a show, didn’t you?” He said with a smile, fidgeting slightly with the cup in his hand.

“Yeah, I did. I didn’t get to see you though.”

“We’re meeting now, so I guess it’s fine.” Shawn joked.

“It’s nice to finally actually meet you.” You said.

“Pleasure’s all mine.” He replied. His eyes left yours as he scanned the crowd, “I feel so strange being here.”

“It’s absolutely wild how many people are here. I knew Taylor was incredibly popular, but this is just wow.” You answered as you saw Beyonce and Jay Z walk in the door. You could also see Blake Lively chatting with Karlie Kloss at the bar.

“I’ve never been the best at meeting people, mingling is not my thing.” Shawn let out a small laugh as you smiled at him.

“You’ve found yourself a fellow wallflower.”

“Do you want to go check out the photo booth?” He asked, standing up a bit straighter as he got off of the wall he was leaning on.

“What else would I do?” You shrugged playfully. Shawn led you through the crowd and you two entered the photo booth. You and Shawn both grabbed crown props and placed them on top of your heads. You couldn’t but laugh as you two posed playfully for all four photos.

“I love this.” Shawn said, looking at the strip of film.

“I think it’s a good thing we didn’t meet until now; we’re too powerful.” You replied jokingly.

“Definitely.” He nodded.

“Do you think Taylor would mind if we just totally dippd right now?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well,” Shawn smiled and bit his lip, “She would notice for sure, but I think we should leave.”

“Let’s go.” You and Shawn made your way through the crowd and out the door without getting caught up in a conversation by anyway. When you were finally outside in the brisk New York air, you asked, “Where should we go?”

“I don’t know. You live here, don’t you?” He teased.

“Want to just go back to my place? It’s literally a block away.” You laughed.

“Yeah, sure.” You two began to walk towards your apartment building.

“How did you meet Taylor?” You asked him casually, trying to come up with a conversation.

“Awards show at Madison Square Garden actually.” He ran a hand through his hair and then dropped it by his side again. “You?”

“She happened to contact my manager to ask me to perform. I hadn’t met her at all before that night.” You explained. You were a much smaller artist than Shawn was currently. His career was skyrocketing and yours was rather steady; touring with the one and only Taylor Swift had to have helped.

“Oh okay.” He nodded, clearing his throat as silence fell over you two. His hand brushed against yours accidentally and both of you immediately moved your hands. You shoved your hands into your jacket pocket and he stepped a bit farther away.

“Here we go.” You said, pointing to the skyscraper of an apartment complex. You punched in your pin and took the elevator to your penthouse with Shawn standing beside you.

As the doors chimed open to your place, Shawn immediately spotted to guitar perched in the corner.

“Whoa this is so nice.” He said walking over to it. “Do you mind-“

“Go for it.” You replied, allowing him to pick it up. He wrapped the strap around his shoulder and casually played a few notes.

“Where’d you get this? I’ve never seen one like it.”

“Geddy Lee actually.” You laughed.

“No way? From Rush?” He asked with an awed smile on your face.

“So you know your rock bands.”

“I know my Canadian rock bands. That’s awesome.” Shawn looked from you back to the guitar in his hands and he started to strum a few chords of a melody.

“Are you trying to play a song because I have no clue what song it is.” You teased, sitting down on the couch while still watching him play.

“I have this thought for a song, but I just don’t know how to write it. I want to use this melody, but none of the lyrics I can think of really work, you know?” He asked, hoping his train of thought made sense. He sat beside you on the couch as he held the guitar without playing it.

“Maybe I could help. What’s the song about?”

“Well, it’s about two lovers that have a summer fling and they both want to act as if they don’t like each other.” He attempted to explain, “The main lyric I’m trying to curve it around is ‘I wish I could pretend I didn’t need ya, but every touch is ooh la la’.”

“So it’s a steamier song?” You joked, giving him a small smirk. He blushed bashfully.

“I know it sounds crazy, but I just feel like a sensual theme is perfect for what I’m hearing in my head.” Shawn said, beginning to play the melody again.

“There’s just some things that never change,

You say we’re just friends,

But friends don’t know the way you taste la la la” You sang along to the guitar’s smooth sound.

“I like it. It totally fits.” He smiled, repeating what you said again to himself. His fingers stopped playing the instrument as he looked up to you, realizing you two had shifted closer than how you had originally started. Shawn felt the urge to just lean in and kiss you right then, but he steadied himself, reasoning that you had only just met a couple of hours ago.

His thoughts flew away from his head as his phone notified him of a new text. You didn’t intend to look, but you couldn’t help yourself as you read the text.

‘Are you still up? I miss you’ Your heart fell as you read the message. It was from a contact named Camila and you could only guess it was the Camila Cabello.

“Sorry, um, it’s nothing.” He said, putting his phone away and standing up. “I should get going- I’ve got to fly back home tomorrow, but I had a good time tonight.”

“I had fun too.” You replied with a soft smile as he delicately put the guitar back on its stand. You opened the door for him and he stopped in his tracks before fully exiting your apartment.

“Could I get your number?” He asked abruptly before awkwardly adding, “If I need help with the song, I want to contact you about it. Maybe we could meet up some other time too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” You said, exchanging phones with him and entering your number into his phone.

“See you around.” He smiled once you switched phones back. He left out the door and you closed it slowly. You had enjoyed your night with him, and that song sounded super good; you just hoped your newly found crush on him wouldn’t be wasted with this Camila.

~~~

Three years later, you still found yourself talking to Shawn and spending time with him whenever you could. He had become one of your closest friends. The only relatively new issue was that over the course of the past few years, you’ve only grown to like him more while more and more rumors of him with various other girls occurred, including none other than the Camila Cabello.

“So what did you want me to listen to?” You asked Shawn as he walked into your same New York City penthouse. He casually picked up your favorite, and now his favorite, guitar, just as he had done years ago.

“You remember that song that we worked out the lyrics to together?” He asked, beginning to play the same melody you had heard the night you met.

“We wrote like half of it three years ago. Are you finally done with it?” You teased.

“Yes, Camila actually helped me finish it off. We decided to write as a duet. So for the first time ever, here is Senorita.” Shawn smiled, before he started to sing the beginning of the song. You kept your smile wide as you felt yourself break from his mention of Camila. That was the song that brought you and Shawn together, and now he completed it and would record it with someone else- the same girl that you envied for the past three years. She and Shawn had a connection that you just didn’t understand; all you knew was that you wanted that.

“Ooh I should be running

Ooh you keep me coming” Shawn ended the song and looked at you expectantly, “What’d you think?”

“It’s amazing. You got the sensual theme right.” You said. All those years ago, his idea for the song sounded like a joke to you- little baby seventeen year old Shawn writing a song about getting laid? But now, this new twenty year old Shawn definitely exemplified that idea.

“I know. It’s a different song for me, but I’m just so happy. I feel like I got it right. Thank you so much for helping me with it.” He said, setting down your guitar and giving you a hug.

“Yeah, of course. No problem.” You struggled to speak but you couldn’t tell if it was from the tightness of the hug or the intoxicating smell of his cologne.

“You okay?” Shawn asked, pulling back from you while still keeping his hands loosely on your shoulders.

“I’m fine. What’s wrong with you?” You remarked. It was then that you saw it again- the same look Shawn had given you the first time he came over. His eyes staring intently at you and his warm embrace surrounding you. Your eyes trailed down to his lips for a moment and he instinctively licked them, biting his bottom lip as his tongue slid back into his mouth.

Once again, the moment ended too soon as his phone began to ring. He quickly let go of you and picked up the call.

“Hey,” He spoke, “I’m with Y/N right now.” He paused, listening to the other person speak, “Yeah I played her the new song. She loved it, Camila.” His smile was wide when he said her name- it fell from his lips with such ease, “Okay, I’ll see you later. Bye.” He turned back to you as he hung up his phone, sliding it back into his pocket.

“So you and Camila?” You asked and he raised a questioning eyebrow at you, “Are you two a thing now?”

“No, no. Camila’s got a boyfriend, and she’s just a good friend.” Shawn said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. He couldn’t help himself from blurting out, “Like you, you know?”

“Oh yeah, right.” You nodded, your eyes no longer meeting his. “I just remembered I have to go meet with my manager. I’ll see you around?”

Shawn was surprised by your sudden plans and your sudden change of mood. “Um, yeah of course.” You walked him outside and he left with his mind still racing at what changed for you. For you, your heart just dropped. First, you thought he was a thing with Camila; and now, he thinks of you as a good friend, absolutely nothing more.

Not really having plans, you turned on Netflix and snuggled into your bed, wanting to forget about the tall boy with the beautiful curls for a while.

~~~

You hadn’t talked to Shawn in four days. It would be a normal thing, with both of you being busy and all, but this time it was different. Shawn was spending all of his time in the studio, recording with Camila and working out his next single. This time though, you were completely ghosting him.

Shawn was recording in NYC, and he had texted you twice asking if you wanted to go out and grab lunch or if you wanted to hang out in general. Both times, he had absolutely no response from you.

“Shawn? Earth to Shawn?” Camila called out to him, bringing him away from staring at his phone.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologized sheepishly, but he didn’t set his phone down as he looked at her from across the studio’s couch.

“What’s going on? Why is your phone so important right now?” She asked, making him sigh.

“It’s Y/N. I think she’s ghosting me.” He said.

“Ghosting you?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, I saw her a few days ago and she seemed upset when I left, and now she isn’t responding to my texts.”

“What did you do to her?” Camila exclaimed. She had never met you before, but she knew that you definitely weren’t the ghosting type- unless for a very good reason of course.

“I didn’t do anything. I went over, played Senorita, and then I don’t know- we talked about you I guess.”

“You guess? Shawn, what did you say?”

“I said you were my friend, just like she was.” He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of what he could have said to make you be so distant.

“Oh my god, you are the biggest idiot ever. That’s why she’s ghosting you!” Camila groaned, face palming herself.

“What do you mean?”

“You are not that dense. She obviously likes you and you like her too. She’s ghosting you because you related her to being just a friend- you friend zoned her!” She explained and worry came across his face.

“No, no, I didn’t friend zone her.” Shawn tried to protest.

“You totally did. You need to go over to her place right now and tell her how you feel.” She stated.

“I can’t just do that. She doesn’t like me back.” His reply made Camila roll her eyes at him.

“She’s been in love with you for three years and you’ve been in love with her for just as long. Go to her before I drag you there myself.”

“But-“ He started, but immediately stopped as she glared at him. She may be a lot smaller than him but damn he did not want to get on her bad side. He stood up, “Okay, okay, I’ll go.”

“Finally.” She sighed. Shawn paused before he walked out the door.

“Do I look okay in this?” He asked, worried that the t-shirt and jeans weren’t enough.

“You’re apologizing to her, not proposing.” Camila stated, “You’re fine. Now go.”

Shawn nodded as he made his way out the door and over to your apartment. He knocked on your door, hoping that you would be home. He tried to mentally prepare himself for what was to come, but all thoughts vanished when you opened the door.

“Oh, hey Shawn.” You said with a small smile.

“You’ve, um, you’ve been ignoring my texts.” He stammered out.

“I’ve been busy, I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you.” You replied.

“I wanted to apologize.” He said, his voice still shaking but not nearly as much as it could have been, “For what I said. I didn’t mean to friend zone you.”

“Shawn, you don’t-“

“No, I need to apologize for that because I-I just really like you, Y/N, and I didn’t think that I’d have a shot with you. I thought you didn’t like me in that way at all, so I just tried to push it away and-“ he was cut off by you pressing your lips against his quickly. He looked down at you surprised by your actions.

“You ramble too much.” You stated.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted for this to happen.” He said with a smile, happy that he’d listened when Camila literally forced him out the door.

“You missed so many opportunities to kiss me.” You teased, “Like right now would be a perfect time.”

“Like right now right now?” Shawn asked and you nodded as he leaned down to kiss you again with his hands cupping your cheeks.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes x reader #senorita

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illuma-can-you-not-i · 5 years ago

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Every time Sojiro Sakura was the entire Phantom Thieves' Dad: Ann

The first thing Ann did when she entered the cafe was put on her headphones, put on her music loud enough to the point that those close to her may hear her, take off her bag, scream into the bookbag, and slammed it next to her as she sat in the empty booth closest to the window. She crossed her arms and pursed her lips with a giant huff, staying in the position as her pop-rock albums continued to play.

The few customers that were there as the event transpired watched the young teenage girl with concern. "Is...she alright?", one of the elderly customers asked Sojiro, whispered despite there no need to be. "Yep, she's just pouting.", Sojiro answered as casually as if the man was asked about the weather. "O-oh."

After another fifteen minutes or so, the elderly couple finally paid and left. Sojiro slid her a latte with a simple heart made from the steamed milk, which Ann took with a now softened expression. "Thank you.", she muttered while putting away her music.

You know, it was funny. He had operated LeBlanc for almost a decade, and not once had even considered learning how to do latte art until after he suddenly became the pseudo father of three teenaged girls, on top of being an actual father to one. It was one of those little things that cheered them up from time to time. And he wanted to make his girls feel better so sue him.

"I imagine staying mad for even that long is pretty tiring.", Sakura commented as he slid into the seat across from her. Takamaki just sighed, finally uncrossing her arms. "I'm sorry for making a ruckus when you had customers.", the girl spoke up, looking up to him with an apologetic expression. Sojiro waved her off like it was nothing. "Aw, you're fine. They were just keeping the seats warm at that point anyhow.", he commented. "So, what's gotcha so worked up?"

"...I'm never having kids.", Ann announced, crossing her arms again. She wasn't going to change her mind, apparently. "Not that I don't support you, but that's a pretty big decision to make in an instant.", Sojiro responded, moving to keep eye contact with her. "No no, if I end up becoming an action movie star, it's for the best. That way I won't have such a busy schedule that I would have to give my potential child or even children that I can't come home and spend Christmas with them for the fifth year in the row, with one more before graduation because there's a holiday show happening in Milan that just...CAN'T...operate without me.", she ranted through deep sighs and gritted teeth. Sojiro reached out to her, and the girl was happy to take his hand.

"I'm done talking to a phone screen on the holidays. I'm done giving presents to my caretakers and pretending they're my actual parents. I'm done...", Takamaki continued to mumble, eyes glued to the surface of the table. Sojiro just sat quietly on the other end, holding her hand as she spoke. "I miss them.", she finally admitted after a moment of silence. "I miss them. So much. Why did they even have a kid if they're not going to spend..."

All of a sudden, her eyes widened in a grave realization. She blinked a couple of times as tears started to line her eyes.

"Was I a mistake?", she quietly asked, turning to Sojiro, looking for an answer. "Wh-what? What are you talking abou--" "I'm an accident. Aren't I?", Ann interrupted, tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Of course no--" "Oh god, that must be it." "Ann...", Sojiro tried to defend her, though getting the feeling that she wasn't listening. "It...it all makes sense. Two career-oriented people have no time in their life for a child. Then I come in, out of the blue, they have no time for me. The show must go on, as the people say. So they leave me with caretakers and continue to travel the world like I don't exist. Like I never existed. They get me a modeling gig at my first mention of a job so that way I depend on myself. Like I always have. So that way they don't have to support me at all."

As the girl spoke, her breath started to hitch and her tears began to spill. Sojiro was quick to comfort her, despite feeling his own pain from her words. He had heard those words from Futaba before and was afraid of what such a thought process might lead down towards.

"I'm a mistake. That explains everything.", she muttered, leaning her head against the railing of the booth. Sojiro just brushed her hand with his thumb, hoping to get her attention. After letting her tears stream out, Ann moved the hand that wasn't taken to wipe her tears. "I'm...I'm sorry, I know this is an inconvenience to you.", she apologized. Sojiro just sighed, moving his other hand to cup her cheek, wiping away the streak left by her teardrops. "Takamaki-san, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times.", Sojiro started, sounding as if he were going to start a lecture, but his expression soft and gentle. "Nothing you say or do to me could possibly be a burden. Not even close. And you're sure as hell not a mistake. Or an accident."

"You're one of my kids. One of my girls. Nothing can change that.", he continued, smiling at the way her eyes lit up at the sentiment. "If you want, you can celebrate Christmas with Futaba and me, and probably Akira, and possibly some of the others. I think Ryuji going to be there because I'm pretty sure he's trying to set me up with his mom.", he responded with more of a grin, lighting up the mood. "You two would make a cute couple.", Ann remarked with a smirk.

"THE POINT IS...", the man changed the topic, making Ann giggle a little. "I don't want you to leave the store thinking that you're something that you're not. You're not a mistake. You're so much more. To me at least. I just hope that matters enough.", he finished, looking back towards Takamaki, whose eyes had widened, but displayed every emotion she was feeling. She was still upset, but nowhere near as much as she was before. She seemed to have taken his words to heart. "It...it does...thanks, Dad."

He gave her a soft smile, which she returned.

"Feel better?", he asked, without as much concern as before. "Yeah...kind of tired, though. May go home and take a nap.", Ann stifled through a yawn, getting up and collecting her things. "Sounds like a plan. Let me know if you need anything.", Sakura called out.

Ann turned around, nodding with a soft smile. "I will."

#ann takamaki #sojiro sakura #persona 5 #fatherdaughter #platonic #daww

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andrina-the-amazingsupergenius · 5 years ago

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When in Blackpool, the Las Vegas of England || Rowdy and Randy

Summary: Andrina gets the best idea for a joke she’s ever had.

@n0ttinghamshad0w

ANDRINA Andrina was in Blackpool, bitches! How did she get here? She didn’t know. It was one of those Andy-spirals that started off as a joke, then turned into a dare, then turned into a promise, then turned into a swear. She’d just been closing up shoppe in Whosits and Whatsits, checking on their stash. She’d just put on some music– Highway to Hell by AC/DC. She just pretended to play air guitar, just fell into Rob’s arms, just made out with him a little on top of Attina’s desk, when the words road trip fell out of her lips. Wouldn’t it be so funny? she’d said. And maybe Rob said something about there being a couple of buyers who might be interested in Cruella’s finest. And couldn’t they be there, and back again, before anyone knew it? And no she wasn’t drunk, when she started the trip, coasting along in the Whosits van. And she wasn’t drunk when they got to Blackpool either, after midnight, and found the downtown alive and throbbing, bleeding light like a wound. And she wasn’t drunk when she had sex with Rob in the loo of an old arcade, after completely kicking his arse at Pacman, his hair in one of her hands, her raffle tickets in the other. She was, actually, just polishing off a cocktail when they started playing Blackjack. She was, maybe, getting a little tipsy, and a little handsy, as she watched Rob count cards and get away with it. By the time they left, it was 3 in the morning and they were a few hundred quid richer. Andrina’s fingers were caressing the nape of Rob’s neck and she was thinking about fucking him again. That’s when the sweet voice of Freddie Mercury caught her pinball eyes. She turned her head to the sweet rock music of Don’t Stop Me Now, and out of nowhere, Andy started laughing. “Hey, you know what would be so funny?” Andy said, sliding her hand down Rob’s spine. She sipped at the vanilla milkshake she’d just bought cheap outta a McDonalds, and her eyes glinted when she met Rob’s own. “If we got married here.”

ROB This was the closest he’d been to home in ‘bout two years now. ‘Course they weren’t even that close, mind you. ‘Course Rob wasn’t supposed to be thinkin’ of Nottingham as home. ‘Course Rob was supposed to have left Swynlake soon as the Davis job was over, find Tuck and Martin and Jo once again. Funny how plans change. Here he was now, pockets full of money he’d won and he’d whispered in Andrina’s ear that maybe they should consider a career in gamblin’ instead — she’d make a mad good poker pro, if he had to guess. Briefly, he entertained travelin’ the world, goin’ to casinos in Monaco and Las Vegas, places glitzier and more glamorous than lil’ Blackpool — his head spinnin’ with possibilities, with thoughts of suave suits and sparkly dresses and then Andrina spoke. He let out a laugh. That was the furthest thing from what he was thinkin’ right now really and so amused was he that he near scooped her up and planted a kiss right on her mouth. “Imagine the two of us gettin’ married at all,” he said, leanin’ over to take a sip of her milkshake. And ‘cuz it was a dumb joke by Andrina, he went along with it, of course, ‘cuz that’s what the two of ‘em did. It was sorta like a game. Well it was really a game — sometimes against one another, sometimes on the same team. The only rule, really, was that they had fun. And Rob did like havin’ fun. “Here’s how it’ll go,” he said with a grin. “I’ll knock the rings off a vacationin’ couples hand — a rich one, mind you, only the best for my betrothed. And you’ll sweet talk a dress from a shop clerk who’s sweet on you, not even a dress maybe just a veil or somethin’. And we’d have to get married by that bloke over there — “ Rob pointed at the Freddie Mercury impersonator. “‘Cuz it’s not real love unless it’s sung by Freddie, you know.”

ANDRINA She loved this game. Andrina actually loved a lot of things. She once thought that wasn’t the case-- that she was sort of a heartless monster (lol) and the love gene had skipped her. But since she’d started stealing things, Andrina realized that her love gene was just different. Maybe she didn’t have one or two hobbies-- maybe she had a whole bucket-full, and that was okay. Maybe she didn’t want to go on dates or get a boyfriend and maybe she really was going to be Wine Aunt. But that wasn’t failure. She wasn’t heartless. Andrina loved nights that ended in a completely different place than they began. She loved the chaos of her room, its pieces always spread out like she was a magpie with her nest in constant creation. She hated working the counter at Whosits, but she loved sorting through the boxes of donations. She loved playing dress-up; she loved sex in public places; she loved getting in the Andrina-Zone between the hours of midnight and 4 in the morning, where the world was quiet and it zeroed in to whatever weirdo project she was working on. Those hours were Andrina at her most exhilarated, creative, blissed out. She stumbled into bed exhausted and happy as if she’d had the best sex in her life, though Andrina would tell you it was always better than sex. She didn’t understand the thrill her sisters got from crushing on this or that person or the dreams they had about husbands, wives, kids-- even empires. But she knew what it meant to love. She didn’t think she loved Rob, but she loved the type of life he gave her. She loved that he never pushed her into stupid boxes. She loved every night like this one. It was between the hours of midnight and 4. The Andrina-Zone. Her favourite hours. So maybe that’s what made that particular, stupid box appeal on that night. Because it wasn’t just a box, it was a story. Rob told it so well, Andrina’s heart was suddenly pounding, she wanted to know more. “Ooooo, the height of romance-- why, I do declare, Mr. Gardner, if I won’t just marry you right on the spot.” Andrina affected her voice into the buttery accent of a Hollywood movie star. She cooed. “I want a rock as big as the moon, Mr. Gardner! Will you steal me the moon?” She batted her eyelashes at him. She giggled but then her eyes flashed and she was Andrina again. “I dare you. Hey, whoever gets back to the chapel first wins a prize!”

ROB The game was on. Rob tugged Andrina’s hand to his lips, pressing a fresh milkshake sticky kiss to the back of her hand, and then dropped it, giving a two-fingered salute as he backed away. “Prize to be determined by winner — starting now!” And off he dashed. Sometimes, if he really wanted to get thinkin’ about things, Rob realized he was turnin’ 30 this year, which never seemed like an age he’d even get to, really. He figured he’d be caught by then, figured that like many of the blokes he’d grown up with, he’d be lost to drugs or to the cops ‘cuz of somethin’ else. But he was lucky — he was lucky and hey, he dinnit know the makeup of his DNA, but he looked enough like everyone else to get by. And he was very good at what he did and so here he was, almost 30, older than he thought he’d ever turn and still just as wild as he was at 18. Well, he was more careful now. Dinnit draw attention to himself. Dinnit get into fights. Instead, he slipped into crowded casinos and bars and he looked for couples sloshed outta their minds. Rings were tricky little buggers. Try a wrong hand, with someone whose ring was just tight enough, and you were easily caught. Rob waited a lil by the bar, orderin’ a drink and keepin’ an eye out for easy marks. For the bloke — he spotted an older fella, sittin’ with a girl who had to be at least half his age. On his left hand, a wedding band. Rob kept his eye trained on this fella, ‘cuz he knew at one point this man’d slip his ring into his pocket, feelin’ too guilty about flirting with the pretty young bird with the reminder of a wife at home. This happened quicker than Rob anticipated, which dinnit make him feel at all bad, as he brushed past and slipped his hand in the man’s jacket pocket and secured the gold ring. It was more varied with stealin’ a women’s ring. He could check the loo, see if anyone forget their ring as they washed their hands. He could hope that there was a gal who had a similar mindset as that old bloke. But really, the best bet in a place like this was to find a bird who was too skinny, too jittery, wearing fancy clothes and with pristine skin — someone drunk enough to say yes to a dance and not notice if in grabbin’ her hand, Rob slipped off her ring. He spotted a bird like that, and just his luck, it was someone at a Hen party — not the bride, but another gal and everyone at Hen parties, ‘specially Hen parties thrown by rich women, wanted to dance with fit scrappy blokes. The girl in question was blonde and had massive fake tits and plump fake lips and before Rob asked her to dance, he heard her talking loudly to her friends about sendin’ back her meals last night at dinner and how she had to fire her last chauffeur for takin’ time off to see his newborn baby. So yeah, he dinnit feel bad as he snagged the large diamond off her ring finger. She was so distracted by the fact he was whisperin’ some dumb sexy thing into her ear that she barely noticed. Rings secured, Rob bolted back out into the night, racing to the chapel as fast as he could. He saw Andrina right across from him, ‘bout the same distance away, and then grit his teeth and ran the remaining distance.

ANDRINA Andrina loved games, but she loved winning more. So as Rob pulled away, she was already laughing, her victory a bright spark in each eye. They hadn’t established any rules, which meant that Andrina could cheat if she wanted. And duh, she wanted. Cheating never cheapened a victory; it sweetened it, reminding Andrina that she was clever, and she loved being clever. And without Rob around to curb the worst of her impulses, she’d give into them. So Andrina didn’t bother to race off into the city, to find some shoppe with its lights still on. She knew how this worked. She’d seen movies and TV and stuff (wasn’t life just like movies and TV and stuff?) Andrina slurped at her milkshake and strided toward the very chapel they were supposed to meet at. She walked right in and up to the desk. “Hey, do you guys do, like, bridal veils and dress rentals and stuff?” she asked the man working at the counter. The man started at the desk, looking up from his phone. His eyes were bloodshot. Ooooooh he was high as fuck. “And by stuff, I also mean weed, you have any of that too?” “Wh--” “I’m kidding! Kind of. I am if you are,” Andrina flashed a smile and leaned over the desk, showing off her cleavage. “We...are a wedding chapel,” the man stated very slowly. He licked his lips. “We do have uh, tuxes and dresses available with some of our packages, listed here in the brochure…” “Here’s the thing,” Andrina said and she leaned in even closer. “I sort of have a bet with a friend. Can I like, just borrow it?” “Uh.” “I’ll give you the rest of my milkshake,” Andrina sang, giving it a shake. She tilted her head and grinned. “And I won’t tell your manager you groped me.” The man’s jaw went slack. Ten and a half minutes later, Andrina was outside, dressed in a cheap wedding dress, with a joint between her teeth for good measure. “I WIN!” she shouted toward Rob. “By all means, take your time! Maybe I’ll just marry my new friend, Earl!”

ROB “Ah, fuck,” said Rob, but he smiled and sprinted the last bit of the way. Reachin’ into his pocket, he pulled out the ring, and as he reached Andrina, he more or less crash landed onto one knee, holdin’ out that big, obnoxious rock that he’d swiped. “Andrina Genieve Triton,” said Rob, voice all serious, as he held out the ring. “Will you do me the honor of marryin’ me?” This was a grand game — a grand joke, yeah? Imagine scrappy Robin Hunt from Nottingham ever getin’ married. ‘Course it would be somewhere like this busted wedding chapel in Blackpool, with rings he stole. When he’d thought of marriage in the past, it seemed like somethin’ impossible: Rob was not a man who wore stuffy suits in a proper church and said bullshit lines in front of a priest. That’s what most girls wanted — maybe not a church, but a country club. Maybe not a priest, but a speech from their fathers, a best man and all that bullshit. Andrina dinnit though. Andrina had a bloody joint in her mouth now and the wedding dress she wore looked like a Halloween costume with its gaudy jewels and plunging neckline. She looked like the best goddamn thing he’d seen in his life. “Well whaddya say?” said Rob, still on one knee.

ANDRINA: The ring was gorgeous. Also, really ugly. It was both these things at the same time, and Andrina’s eyes widened at the sight of it, before she burst into laughter. Of all the ridiculous things that Andrina had ever done in her whole life-- this was the most ridiculous. A spontaneous trip to Blackpool! Gambling, sex in the bathroom, milkshakes, Earl, a costume wedding dress! And now she was looking at some kind of Kardashian mistake of a ring-- she had no idea if any of those stones were real, because they were the kind of thing that looked so shiny and over-the-top you had to second-guess, but also maybe it was real, and Rob held in his hand more money than any of them had ever had in their bank accounts combined (and that was saying something for Andrina, Daddy’s Little Princess). And here he was, offering it to her. And was he serious? Suddenly, Andrina didn’t know. Suddenly, she was looking down at the only boy who had never asked her to be anything that she wasn’t, and he was wearing that smile of his-- one that looked like he was always hiding the best part of an inside joke. She wanted to kiss that mouth. Andrina wondered if that meant she was in love with him. She wondered it, and nothing moved inside of her. No big firework moment-- but none of the cold, clammy fear either, that had always taken her by the neck and never let her go. She could marry this person and she didn’t think it would change anything, besides the fact that she’d have this massive, ugly ring to wave in people’s faces. Also, she could call herself Mrs. Gardner in an affected posh accent, which was always fun. Mrs. Andrina Gardner. Or Mrs. Andrina Hunt, or whatever. “I think I dared you first, that’s what I say,” Andrina declared. She grinned. She yanked up Rob by his collar, took the cigar out of her mouth, and planted a kiss on his lips, dirty and greedy and still tasting a little bit like milkshake. When it broke, she stuck the cigar in Rob’s mouth, took the ring, and slid it on her hand. She fanned it in front of her face. “I’ll do it if you’ll do it,” she said. And that was definitely a yes in Andrina-speak.

ROB Hell, they’d come this far and Rob wasn’t about to back out now. Did he want to get married? He dinnit know. Getting married was somethin’ he’d just never thought about. When Andrina kissed him though, hard and fast and sticky, he had the quick little thought that if somethin’ ever happened — if he couldn’t kiss her anymore — he’d be missin’ something more than just her lips. Not to say he wanted her to be the only person he kissed from here on out (or vice verse), but just that if he couldn’t kiss her well, then — Look, this was all some complicated stuff to be thinkin’ about when he was supposed to be havin’ the happiest day of his life, yeah? He didn’t answer her directly. Cigar still in his mouth, he grabbed her and lifted her up bridal style and spun around a little, before marching right into the chapel. “Oi!” he said to the greasy-lookin’ bloke at the counter. “We’re here to get married! Where do we do that at?” Determined not to put Andrina down till the moment they were in front of whatever sorta makeshift aisle they had in this horrendous lookin’ building. The greasy bloke grabbed some forms and led them through a door, down to a room dressed up in pink gawdy hearts and flowers and floatin’ lil naked babies. He plopped Andrina down then and extended his arm to her. “Ready?” he asked. There was still a teasin’ look in his eye, of course, but it was coupled with just a bit of seriousness. ‘Cuz here they were, here he was with Andrina wearin’ some trashy rental gown and ring he’d nicked at a nightclub, lookin’ at him like he was a prize she just won at a carnival. He looked at her and he felt… well happy. Ahem. He turned away, shouting at greasy fellow. “Can we get a wedding march here? Or something dancey? I wanna do this proper, mate. Only the best for the love of my life.”

ANDRINA: Rob lifted her up and Andrina squealed, instantly kicking her feet as if she was trying to escape. Rob’s grip was firm though. He had her locked in his arms. Locked down, some might say-- hardy har har, marriage is an oppressive institution that people still willingly entered despite a shitton of sexist comments and attitudes!!!!!!! But Andrina could escape if she wanted. Elbow Rob in the face and give the bugger a nosebleed and call the whole thing off. She’d even laugh it off and make it impossible for Rob to get mad at her. She knew how to play her cuteness as a shield like that. But she didn’t want to escape. She kind of wanted to get married. Why not? It wasn’t permanent. No matter what anyone said, marriage was a checkbox, and Andrina could check it off tonight, and erase it tomorrow. But she wanted to say, at least once, she’d been married. In Blackpool. On a whim. To the love of her life-- or maybe not-- but certainly to a lad she liked more than she’d ever liked any boy. So she struggled only to make this more fun, and if she was playing a part, she was playing damsel, for once. God knows she’d never play that part again. And then it was time, and she clicked down onto her boot heels and flipped her hair. She pretended to sniff snootily and tugged down at her sweater as though she was adjusting some kind of fancy bodice. Then she weaved her arm through Rob’s and waited for the music. The wedding march sounded and Andrina turned to Rob with her Serious (™) face on. “Race you down the aisle,” she said, Seriously. And then she darted down the aisle, yelping as she felt the veil stuck in her hair give way a little. She reached up to secure it, and nearly tripped over the cheap dress. Rob caught her, and then they were laughing again, spinning the rest of the way, to the intolling organs and a bored looking for-hire officiant at the other end. When they arrived, she was out of breath, but grinning. She flashed her ring at the officiant. “Pretty, innit?” “Beautiful,” deadpanned the very bored bloke. She wondered if this place paid more than McDonalds or Starbucks. Hmm, back-up options for a career… “Ahem. We are gathered here today--” “Wait! Rob, play my dad for a second. You gotta give me away.” She said and elbowed him in the side.

ROB “Right, o’course,” said Rob without a moment’s hesitation. He darted back down to the end of the aisle. The rent-a-preacher stared at the both of them. Rob extended his arm out to Andrina and did his very best JEFF Triton impression. “You look beautiful, darling,” he said, making his voice deeper which wasn’t necessarily how JEFF sounded, but it sounded vaguely what Rob imagined fathers to sound like. “I’m so happy that you’ve found someone for you.” He didn’t know what fathers said to daughters on their wedding days, but he imagined it went something like that. Puffing out his chest, he stomped down the aisle as the music played again. The bored pastor, preacher, random official person sighed. “Are you ready now?” he asked. Rob saluted, still pretending to be JEFF, and then took his place as Rob. He clasped his hands together like a groom in a movie, even though he was wearing a Dead Kennedys t-shirt and some old worn jeans, he pretended he was in some fancy tuxedo. “Ahem. So, like I said we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony...did you wanna do your own vows or just do the ‘for better or worse’ bit?” “Nah I can do my own,” said Rob. He wasn’t about to say some church bullshit. He cleared his throat as the pastor bloke man person went about all the other “Andrina,” said Rob, clearing his throat. “You’re absolutely batshit and I say that as someone who’s too hard to handle for literally every person in the world I've met before. You’re sexy and fun, but you’re also my partner in crime.” A smirk here, ‘cuz that was literal eyooo. “And you know, “ Rob continued, a little more sincere now if you knew what to listen for, but you’d have to really know what to listen for in Rob’s voice. “I don’t think there’s been many girls in my life I’ve wanted to never stop kissin’ but I never wanna stop kissin’ you. I promise I’ll always be down to do something as wild as gettin’ married in this chapel and I promise we’ll never be bored. Or maybe we will be, but we’ll find somethin’. I love you — “ It slipped out and he couldn’t stop now, so he just grinned as he talked hopin’ she’d also find it like a joke (or hopin’, maybe that she didn’t). “And I’d steal a million pounds for you and you know it, babe.” “Lovely,” said the pastor, then turning to Andrina.

ANDRINA: It was a joke as they waltzed down the aisle the second time, Andrina taking long, serious strides, trying to remain smooth-faced. It was a joke as Robbie jumped to the front, smoothed a hand down his front, clasped his hands together. It was a joke as Andrina climbed up to meet him, lifting her chin before sticking out a tongue for a split second before the officiant finished his cliche, scripted speech. It was a joke as Robbie started his vows. But it wasn’t a joke for long. Andrina couldn’t trace where the slippage happened. But Rob’s smirk faded at some point and suddenly she was noticing the color of his eyes, which she’d never noticed before. She was not the type to note shit like that. That was for Tiny and Dell, even Lana to a point. Andrina only cared about how smart a boy was. If she was in the mood, she’d pick a stupid lad to get her off, finding the most embarrassing, neanderthal dirty talk a strange turn on-- like watching shitty porn on purpose. Other times, she picked someone a little wittier, who could keep up with her jabs-- good not just for the fuck, but for the foreplay. Rob was obviously the latter. She loved his mouth, kissed it plenty of times, felt it on her neck, her breasts, between her legs. She liked when he talked and when he didn’t-- when he chuckled, when he smirked, when he sucked on a lolly she nicked for him from the market. But now she was looking in his eyes and her stomach fluttered. Butterflies, for the first time, here on her wedding day. She could blame the wedding for them. Blame her veil and the fake stained glass behind Rob and the big rock on her finger. It was all just an illusion. She didn’t really feel… she didn’t actually… But maybe she did. And suddenly there was a before and an after. There was a split in Andrina’s roads. She saw it clearly, her life behind her-- a life of seven sisters, never enough space, and always drama she was obligated to participate in. She’d leave Blackpool and return to it. The idea crushed her. She was suffocating right here, right now, which is usually how she felt when a boy, any boy, looked her dead in the eye like this and told her that they liked her-- except Rob was doing that right now and all she wanted to do was fling her arms around his neck and beg him to steal her away next. Don’t make her go back to that fucking town, to all those sisters, to her shitty apartment and the dinners she had to show up to like reporting for the army, to her dead-end job, to Attina’s depression. Please, dear god, no. Her marriage was a getaway car. Rob was driving. Andrina was calling shotgun and hopping the fuck in. “I think vows are overrated,” she said. “But I promise that you are the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.” And she looked to the officiant. “Okay, say the thing.” “Oh-- that’s all--?” “Yeah. Chop chop buddy!” Andrina said with a hand wave. “This is the happiest day of my life, helloooooo!” “Er--right. I now pronounce you--” Andrina flung her arms around Rob’s neck and kissed him before he could finish.

ROB Rob kissed Andrina back, picking her up a little and swingin’ her around. And ‘cuz why do this if he didn’t do this the right way, he picked up Andrina’s legs and carried her in his arms, like they were somethin’ out of a movie or somethin’. Ha. Rob Hunt from Nottingham Orphanage never thought he’d be worthy of a movie. Not that this shitty chapel and these stolen rings and this rent-a-pastor were worthy of a movie. They were all shams, hacks, more reflective of Rob, really. But Andrina — Andrina was a real thing, better than any dumb movie endin’ because she had a wicked smile and sometimes in the morning her breath smelled and sometimes in the night she kicked, but she was smart and she never stopped, ever, and the mask Rob wore always somehow disppeared with her. Also she was sexy as fuck. He spun Andrina around a little, givin’ a bit of a woop, the gave her a proper snog. It was sticky and messy, the sort kiss that horny teenagers in the back of a car kissed. And what of it? He couldn’t wait to go back to the van and shag his wife. “Hey, uh, sorry but you’ve got to sign these forms and stuff,” said the rent-a-preacher, holding up some papers. “It’s real quick, I promise. Sorry shoulda done it before but — “ “Yeah, yeah, just bring it here,” said Rob, dropping Andrina down and grabbing the pen to quickly sign because, okay, the primary thing on his mind right now was sex.

ANDRINA: Andrina was also thinking about a car-shag-- a back-of-a-van shag, actually, was more accurate. Her thighs were already trembling, desire as hot as the rest of her blood. If she stepped back from herself, she’d maybe realize it was the adrenaline from what might have been some kind of mental breakdown or dissociative episode. Because, her! Andrina! A wife! Honesty, this was her most brilliant joke yet. Wait until she told her sisters. (This thought instantly led to a short-circuit, and the Nyan Cat Video played on repeat.) First though, right. Paperwork. This was another chance for Andrina to rewind this whole insane episode and decide she wasn’t going to be a wife after all. But Rob grabbed for the pen without hesitating, and fuck if she was going to prove to be a coward in the last ten seconds of the biggest Andrina-prank ever concocted. Plus, she got bragging rights, she supposed, being the first sister to ever marry. That was kind of a fucked up thing to think. But it’s true, went the little voice in her head. As Andrina signed her name with a flourish, something very pleased inside her stretched itself out and started purring. A smile slid across her face. No one thought it’d be you, Andrina. Yeah, maybe this is a mental breakdown. Or maybe you finally found out who you’re supposed to be. “Should I take your name?” Andrina said as she straightened up. She wiggled her veil off so she could plop it on Rob’s head instead, stepping forward to adjust it carefully. “Andrina Gardner. But that isn’t even your real name right? Well, that’s kind of hot. A fake-new last name. Or maybe you can take my last name-- it can be your new fake name. Or like, fake-real name. Rob Triton.” Her eyes moved from the veil down to his own. She smiled. It was her softest smile of the whole night. “What do you think?” ROB Rob had no attachment to his name. He slipped on and off his name like it was a scarf of some sort. Sometimes he forgot Robert Gardner wasn’t a real person; sometimes he forgot Robin Hunt was one. Sometimes, he forgot that once he went by Oliver and also that was his legal middle name. “Well, you can’t marry Robert Gardner ‘cuz he ennit real,” said Rob, cheerfully, tossing the veil over his shoulder. The rent-a-pastor looked massively confused, but Rob paid him no mind. It’s not like this bloke was gonna do a deep investigation into Robert Gardner. That name was so common, Rob had chosen it for a reason. Sometimes Robert Gardner felt more real to him than Robin Hunt. Robin Hunt was a name chosen by a system, a name written on paperwork and run through computers. A name he’d shed because the baggage of being Robin Hunt was too heavy for him to carry. A name he sometimes felt guilty about leaving behind. But he needed to pick up new ones. He had to keep evolving. Stay still and he’d die. He looked at Andrina now, his mouth cocking up into a smile. “But I can marry Andrina Triton. I’ve never had a real name of my own, so I might as well take yours, yeah? I don’t need to be Robert or Robin. Just Rob. Time to reinvent myself — “ He took the paper and signed Rob Triton with a flourish. “There we go — who’d thought you’d make a new, honest man outta me, eh?”

ANDRINA Andrina stared down at Rob Triton and felt something. That something didn’t have any name that she knew. It tickled, and if she thought about it too much, she suspected it might feel a little bit like heartburn. Here’s what she did know: that something made her want to take this piece of paper with Rob Triton written on it, tear it up into pieces, shove it into her mouth, and eat it. That’s how much she loved seeing it written out like that, the idea of not belonging to Rob at all-- but him belonging to her. Instead of giving into her weirdo, paper-cannibalistic desire, she swept up the paper, folded it neatly and then reached under her dress, hiking the whole thing up. She hadn’t taken off her jeans, see. So she could just slip the paper in the back pocket. She let the dress back down and then slipped her arm through Rob’s own. “Okay Mr. Triton. I think we need to consummate our marriage,” she winked at him. The officiant grimaced. “Chill out, we won’t do it here,” Andrina said and giggled. “We have a very on-brand sex van. Let’s make the most of it. Maestro, play the wedding march!” “We don’t really do that on the way down the aisle…” “Nevermind!” Andrina exclaimed and she tugged Rob down anyway-- and together they skipped their way back out into the early hours of a Blackpool morning.

#rowdy and randy #para

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spacedancer1701 · 5 years ago

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On Borrowed Time - a Star Trek fic (Chapters 21 - 30)

Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS) Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope) Characters: The Crew of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) Rating/Warnings: None Tags: Friendship, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Mild H/C, Caring/Protective/Tender/Comforting/Happy/Grumpy McCoy Word Count: This is a long one 😄 (61 chapters - 120k)

Read it on AO3: On Borrowed Time

Chapter 21

Hope was very quiet that evening, McCoy noticed. Not necessarily sad, but her thoughts were clearly elsewhere. After she’d told him not to worry so much, she’d mostly been staring out into space, slowly sipping her coffee, and he was content to just sit back and watch her.

Knowing that he’d be here, she’d obviously come looking for him, and he was glad that, after the emotional rollercoaster he’d put her on by stupidly mentioning her family, she still felt comfortable around him. If just sitting here, next to him, quietly enjoying her coffee was what she needed, that was all right with him. Whatever helped her find back to her cheerful self again, quite obviously her most pressing issue.

Moping about was just not in her nature, and he could almost see her fight the ‘negative vibes’, as she’d probably call them, that stood between her and her natural state of happiness.

Looking at her beautiful face, so deep in thought, softly lit by the observation deck’s dim lighting, he couldn’t help thinking how a single person had changed his life so much for the better in so short a time.

Despite his reputation as a curmudgeon, which he rather enjoyed, McCoy was actually an affable person, always good for a laugh. But he had to admit that he hadn’t laughed as much as he had since Hope arrived in a long time. She could be hilarious, her wit and cheerfulness infectious.

When she was there, she was the heart and soul of the rec room. And when it was just the two of them in his office or over coffee, she could always make him smile over something or other, even after a hard and frustrating day.

Like with the patients, she always seemed to know what he needed. Be it a deep conversation to help him get closure over something or just playful banter to cheer him up. Belying her youth or the fact that he’d always assumed that was what buddies – male buddies – were for, she was the perfect friend for both.

And if, at times, she read him wrong, he could simply tell her. He could always speak his mind with her, it was refreshing. He could even ask her to leave him alone without her taking offence. Theoretically. Since this had yet to happen.

Jim was and would always be his closest friend. He trusted him completely and knew he could tell him anything. And there was Scotty, of course. But there were things that you just didn’t discuss with a mate.

Uhura was lovely, too. He knew he could always count on her where it mattered. But their relationship was a flirty one. They’d never had a deep or really personal conversation.

Christine, on the other hand, was anything but flirty. Always calm and professional. And he admired and appreciated her for it. He knew he could totally rely on her and her confidentiality. She was great to discuss medical matters with. But she somehow lacked the warmth that encouraged more personal, intimate conversations.

Well, thank God for Dr. Hope, he thought with a dreamy smile, taking a sip from his coffee.

Maybe it was because they were not too different in some ways. They were both people who others came to for help, or advice, or an open ear. And they were good listeners. But even though they appeared very chatty and open, they were, in fact, both rather private people who didn’t easily share personal matters.

Most people didn’t seem to notice, of course. They were happy to unburden themselves, and that was enough. Come to think about it, he’d already shared a lot more personal matters with Hope than with anybody else. Joanna, for example. Because Hope genuinely cared. And because she didn’t judge.

He briefly thought about how his and Joanna’s life would have turned out with a different wife at his side. Someone warm and caring like Hope.

Don’t even go there, Leonard, he scolded himself, pushing the thought to the farthest reaches of his mind.

At any rate, it had really done him good to open up to Hope about Joanna. And he genuinely hoped she’d let him return the favour soon and share her sorrows with him, too.

********************

With a sinking feeling in his heart, Chekov watched Jenny and McCoy from the other side of the observation deck. No matter what he did, they seemed to be growing closer every day. Huddled together on that couch, they seemed so intimate, so familiar with each other, it made him cringe. At least they weren’t touching.

Perhaps he was imagining things, maybe Jenny and the doctor were really nothing more than friends after all. Like she was friends with her buddies from the band. But then again, lovely as Jenny was when they danced or worked out together, their relationship was definitely not evolving the way he’d like it to. Whenever he tried to tell her of his feelings, she’d just laugh it off and change the subject, talking about her career being her number one priority. Or worse, rattle on about this ‘brotherly/sisterly’ feeling between them.

For the past couple of weeks, Chekov had taken to joining Jenny and McCoy over breakfast or dinner, whenever he could, the latter seeming to ‘supervise’ every single one of her meals as of lately. If he couldn’t have Jenny, he figured, at least he wouldn’t leave her to the doctor without a fight.

But strangely, they didn’t seem to mind and even asked him to join them at their table whenever they saw him. The thought struck him that they might just want him around to divert from their own budding relationship. And fond as he was of the doctor, the idea was killing him.

He’d tried talking to his friends about it several times, but they’d just smiled and said variations of ‘What will be will be’. Only Uhura had sometimes gently suggested that, doctor or no doctor, he would surely notice if Jenny felt more than friendship for him.

********************

Uhura sometimes tried to get Jenny to talk about her feelings. But while she quite openly admitted that she was not in love with Chekov, she always avoided talking about her feelings for the doctor. She’d say things like what a great physician he was, or how kind or fun to be around, but that was it.

“Right, you’re definitely not in love with poor Pavel,” Uhura said to Jenny as they were jogging side by side on the treadmills in the gym. “But what about the doctor?”

“What about him?” Jenny glanced at Uhura, grimacing at her impish smirk. “What do you want to hear? I just like being around him. I find his presence incredibly soothing.”

“Soothing?” Uhura chortled, surprise making her lose her rhythm and nearly slide off the treadmill. “We’re talking about Dr. McCoy here, right?”

“The one and only.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Jenny, I like him a lot, I really do. But soothing is about the last word that comes to mind when I think of him. He’s so hyper and bouncy and irascible and talkative, always good for discussions and confrontations.”

“That’s how you see him?” Jenny looked at Uhura pensively. “I mean, yes he can be rather restless. And passionate. Especially in his capacity as a physician. But he is also really kind and caring, a very good listener and observer. Which means he can be calm and quiet, too. Maybe you just don’t notice how often he takes a backseat and just watches?”

“You might have a point there. He’s certainly one of the good guys. Fun and sweet, too. Maybe I just see what he wants us to see.”

“Yes, maybe. He certainly likes to cultivate his image as curmudgeon,” Jenny giggled. “But just think of how calm he is in emergencies. So focused, so in control, every move executed precisely and expertly. I find that immensely reassuring. Simply watching him makes me feel safe.”

“I get what you mean. You’re right. He’s incredible in crises,” Uhura admitted. “I always feel safer on missions when he’s part of the landing party. Like whatever injuries you might incur, he’ll fix them.”

“Exactly.”

“So, to get back to our actual topic,” Uhura grinned at Jenny, “apart from ‘soothing’, do you find him anything else?”

“Uh, leave me alone, Nyota, will you?” Jenny shook her head and increased the pace on her treadmill a little. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not looking for a man? I’m perfectly fine building my career and living the dream of being a starship officer.”

Uhura fell silent. She still had her suspicions, of course, but it could well be that Jenny really just wanted a career and was in no hurry to hitch up with a man. The doctor, on the other hand, was another matter. Even though he’d probably never act on it, he was clearly as smitten with Jenny as Chekov. That was plain for everyone to see. Even poor Pavel.

Chapter 22

“Captain, I’m receiving a subspace signal,” Uhura’s voice startled Kirk out of the report he was reading and he looked up excitedly.

Even though it had only been a few days since Scotty had given the all clear after the rock exploding incident, the captain was already getting bored again, as uneventful shifts seemed to drag on.

“Who’s it from? What does it say?” he asked eagerly.

“Unknown, Captain,” came Spock’s immediate answer.

“Come again?” Kirk spun round to the science station, frowning.

“Unknown, Sir,” Spock repeated, unruffled. “The planet it originates from is uninhabited. No intelligent life found there, no animal life at all, more precisely.”

“And the message is just gibberish,” Uhura added, sounding mystified and a little miffed.

“A code of some kind?” Kirk asked, knowing quite well that Uhura would already have checked every possibility.

“No, Sir,” came her crisp reply, “there is no pattern to the signal whatsoever.”

“Spock? Anything?” the captain turned back to his science officer.

“Negative, Captain.”

“Maybe we should consult Dr. Hope?” Chekov piped up.

“Excellent idea, Ensign,” Kirk readily agreed. “Maybe her ‘intuition’ can shed some light on this. Call her to the bridge, please, Uhura.”

********************

Down in sickbay, an excited Hope asked McCoy for permission to leave for the bridge.

“Of course, Hope, you go, girl!” he smiled, taking a stack of vaccines off her hands and waving her off with a friendly pat on the back.

This will do her good, he thought.

Happy as she seemed here in sickbay, she was certainly thrilled at the chance to put her qualifications to good use, the thought of working in her actual field of expertise again for a change, definitely appealing.

Maybe that was exactly what she needed. Her mind taken off whatever was bothering her by a challenging task in her area of competence. The area she was so passionate about.

McCoy was, of course, still determined to get to the bottom of the mystery surrounding her, but dwelling on it was certainly not the right way to do so. He’d learned long ago, that you couldn’t force anyone to open up. Not if you wanted to get to the truth, anyway. No, he’d let her know that he’d be there, if she wanted to talk. Now it was up to her.

He needed her to trust him, not to scare her off by constantly nagging and prying. And he certainly didn’t want her to be continuously reminded of her sorrows. Not if she just wanted to be happy.

Less than an hour later, after Hope hadn’t managed to gain any more information from the signal than Uhura and Spock had, explaining to Kirk that all of the intuitive equipment needed to be close to the source to function properly, McCoy and Kirk were having a heated discussion in the captain’s quarters over whether or not Hope was ready to be included in a landing party.

“I simply don’t think it’s a good idea, Jim!”

“Why not? She’s proven herself more than capable over the past few months. And I have orders to give her a full all-round training, remember?”

“Since when do you give a damn about orders, Jim?” McCoy groused.

Kirk just gave him a wry look.

“But then I’ll come, too. I have a bad feeling about this,” the doctor insisted.

“You have a bad feeling about every mission, Bones,” the captain chuckled, and then, giving his friend a sly grin, continued, “or do you have more personal reasons this time?”

“Oh, please, leave me alone, Jim,” McCoy groaned.

“Well, you do spend an awful lot of time with her.”

“So what? So does Chekov. And Scotty. And Uhura. Even Spock for that matter. And by the way, so do you!”

“Well, she is delightful to be around!” Kirk snorted with laughter.

McCoy chose to ignore the silly teasing and, giving a resigned shrug, resumed their original discussion.

“I’m just saying, I’m her doctor, and I’ve only just begun to understand her medical issues.”

“I thought they were only minor?” Kirk shot him a hard glance, all teasing gone from his voice.

“Yes, they are,” the doctor conceded, “but not very common these days and I don’t have any experience with them at all.”

“Will her performance be impaired?” Kirk was being serious now.

“No, not in a crucial way.”

“So that’s settled then,” the captain said impatiently. “She’s coming. And so are you.”

McCoy’s head shot up at that last sentence, and he gave Kirk a grateful nod.

********************

When McCoy entered the transporter room, medikit slung over his shoulder, fully prepared for every eventuality, Hope was already there, nervously checking her utility and weapons belt.

She looked up at the hiss of the doors and smiled at him, trying to radiate confidence and professionalism like she always did. And, of course, he didn’t let on that he saw right through her. That he clearly - and fondly - saw the apprehension and insecurity beneath that confident and cheerful smile.

He wanted to say something reassuring, but before he could even open his mouth, the doors hissed open again, and Kirk entered in his usual energetic stride, avidly awaiting the next adventure.

“Welcome to your first landing party, Hope!” he grinned at her. “Ready for some excitement planetside?”

McCoy knew, of course, that Jim didn’t know Hope as well as he did, didn’t recognise the slight tremor in her eyes giving away that she feared the new experience as much as she was looking forward to it. Had never seen the timid and vulnerable side to the confident and sassy personality she wanted the world to see. But he still could have punched the captain for his thoughtlessness, when he saw Hope slightly wince and pale before rearranging her features into a dazzling smile.

“Can’t wait, Sir,” she beamed at him, “thank you, Sir!”

********************

Jenny felt her heart hammering against her chest as she watched Peterson from Security calmly arranging his belt. She’d known this day would come and been looking forward to it immensely, but suddenly wasn’t so sure she was ready anymore.

Nothing hostile on the planet, the captain had said. No animal or intelligent life, only lush and abundant flora, a nice, breathable atmosphere, and a little linguistic mystery. The perfect setup for her first landing party. They’d be back before dinnertime.

Spock had wanted to come, too. But the captain had told him to stay on the ship. Just in case, he’d said. And it was then that Jenny had realised this was it, this was real.

She’d been tremendously relieved to hear that McCoy was coming with them, his mere presence making her feel safe. When they stepped onto the transporter platform, and she felt his reassuring hand resting briefly on her shoulder, she could have kissed him.

The last thing she saw before fading out in the tingling transporter beam, was the doctor’s kind smile as he mouthed, “You’ll be fine!”

Chapter 23

As soon as they materialised, they quickly looked around and took a few scans to secure the area. Kirk was amused to see Hope following protocol down to a T, probably having rehearsed it like one of her dance choreographies. But he was also satisfied to see that she’d clearly done her homework.

While she was focused on her purpose-built linguistic tricorder, the captain took out his communicator to check in with Spock.

“Impressive scenery here, Spock,” he said, taking in his surroundings. “Everything’s just huge!”

“I did inform you about the flora of this planet being superior to most, Captain. In scale, colour and scent,” sounded his first officer’s unimpressed voice from the communicator.

“Of course you did, Mr. Spock,” Kirk smiled, “but it’s even more gigantic when you’re standing right in the middle of it.”

“Captain, I don’t see how …”

“Thank you, Mr. Spock,” the captain quickly cut in, before Spock could start to dissect his last statement in earnest. “I’ll check in with you again in one hour. Kirk out!”

Then, still grinning, he turned to Hope.

“Found anything yet, Hope? Where do we get our answers? Lead the way!”

But Hope just shook her head, looking somewhat dismayed.

“I’m sorry, Captain, I can’t get anything. There’s just no signal.”

Frowning, Kirk pulled his communicator out again.

“Uhura, we’re not getting any readings down here. What’s your status on the signal?”

“It stopped while you were talking to Mr. Spock, Sir,” the communications officer replied. “I’m trying everything to get it back, unsuccessfully so far.”

“Keep trying, Uhura, and let us know of any progress. Kirk out!” he shut his communicator a little too forcefully, and Hope winced at his obvious displeasure.

McCoy’s heart went out to her. She was clearly taking the sudden absence of the signal as a personal failure. Taking a step closer to where she was standing, he surveyed the enormous trees and man-sized flowers. A giant redwood wouldn’t look giant here at all.

“This is like out of a storybook,” he said reverently, drawing Kirk’s attention away from Hope. “The trees and twines seem to go on forever. It looks like even the sky is higher up here.”

“Good thing, Spock couldn’t hear you, Bones,” the captain laughed. “He might have to say a thing or two about the sky being higher or lower.”

“I see what you mean, Doctor,” Peterson chuckled. “I’m just waiting for Jack to climb down his beanstalk.”

Looking up from her tricorder, Hope added, “You’re right, this landscape looks so unreal, maybe we’ll even come across some oversized teacups or the big white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland!”

She was quite taken aback, when that earned her a disgruntled look from McCoy and an exaggerated chortle from Kirk, who obviously found this hilarious.

“Better not talk to Bones about Alice or the rabbit, Hope,” the captain warned, still chuckling, as she just looked on in bewilderment. “He holds a personal grudge against them, against all of Wonderland, actually. But that’s a story for another day. I’m sure the good doctor will be happy to tell you all about it.” 1)

McCoy snorted, then returned his gaze to his tricorder and mumbled, “Let’s just focus on the task at hand here, shall we?”

Kirk had Peterson and McCoy scout out wider parts of the area to one side of where Hope was still busy with her tricorder, while he made his way to the other side. Just when he was starting to get really impatient, his communicator beeped and an audibly relieved Hope reported that the signal was back. So did Uhura mere seconds later.

The captain quickly contacted McCoy and Peterson, and by the time they arrived back at Hope’s location, they saw her standing in the middle of the small clearing, her phaser drawn and pointed at what could only be described as a giant beetroot, moving slowly, but threateningly towards her, secreting some kind of acid and burning everything in its path.

“Shoot!” Kirk shouted, realising that she was just standing there, frozen, and drew his own phaser.

He hit the ‘creature' an instant before Hope’s phaser beam had the already staggering beetroot drop to the ground, where it lay motionless.

“Why didn’t you shoot sooner? It could have killed you!” Kirk snapped, evidently unhappy with her poor performance, while McCoy and Peterson cautiously approached the ‘thing’ on the ground.

“It’s dead, Jim,” McCoy called out. “Assuming it ever lived. It’s got some sort of roots that look like they’ve been ripped out of the ground. Presumably that’s how it moved. We can’t touch it, though, it’s highly corrosive.”

And straightening up again, he added a grumbling, “So much for ‘nothing hostile’ on this planet.”

Turning back to Kirk, who had already flipped open his communicator and was talking to Spock, McCoy saw that Hope hadn’t moved an inch. Phaser still in hand, she was standing in the same spot, staring unseeingly at the downed creature.

Realising that she was in a state of shock, he hurried to her side, put an arm around her shoulders and gently took the phaser from her, all the time talking soothingly to her.

“The Captain’s just scared for you, dear,” he murmured, “that’s why he snapped at you like that.”

He held her a little tighter and gently shook her, until she finally came round and immediately broke away from him to throw up behind a bush.

“I’ve never killed before in my life,” she whispered, when she heard him come up behind her.

Crouching down in front of her, McCoy gently cupped her face in his hand to get her attention, and when he caught her eye, looked at her intensely. He needed to pull her out of her shock. And quickly. Kirk expected nothing but efficiency from his crew. He had no patience for insecurities on a mission. Hope would have to deal with the emotional fallout of her first kill later. And he’d help her with it, like he’d helped many a rookie before. But now was not the time.

The touch of a gentle hand roused Jenny from her dizzy thoughts, and she looked up to find the doctor’s kind blue eyes only inches from her face. Her first instinct was to lean into him for comfort, but his piercing gaze brought her back to reality and she pulled herself together.

“You’re going to be alright, Hope, I promise,” he said softly, standing up and pulling her to her feet. “We’ll talk about all of this back on the Enterprise, but now we just need to move on, ok? Can you do that?”

“Of course, Doctor, thank you,” she whispered and gratefully wiped her face with a tissue he handed her while putting his arm around her shoulders to give her a quick hug and a reassuring rub.

This little gesture was all she needed to get her moving again. The doctor certainly knew how to comfort and reassure. Jenny felt an intense surge of affection and gratitude as she straightened both her uniform and her posture, and gave him a nod to say she was ready to move on.

Following McCoy back to Kirk and Peterson, she could hear the captain’s angry voice.

“What? You mean we’re stuck here?”

“Afraid so, Captain,” Scotty’s apologetic voice sounded from his communicator. “A delayed aftereffect of that blasted rock exploding in our face, Sir.”

“How long?” Kirk barked.

“Couple of hours, Sir, if there’s no further surprises.”

“Right. Get on it then, Mr. Scott!” the captain sighed, and, snapping his communicator shut, informed the others, “Guess we’ll get to follow that signal’s trail after all. Everybody, watch out for hostile vegetable!”

Kirk allowed Hope a couple more minutes to recover and adjust the settings on her tricorder. As soon as McCoy indicated that she was good to go, the small party set off, following traces of unintelligible babble.

It was her very first landing party and everything was going sideways. She should really be afraid, scared even. But strangely enough, she wasn’t. Looking from the captain to Peterson, and then on to McCoy, she was suddenly, inexplicably certain that everything would be all right in the end.

********************

1) Reference to the TOS episode “Shore Leave”

Chapter 24

They moved along at a steady pace, with Peterson leading the way and Kirk bringing up the rear, and Jenny thought how nice it was to actually walk on soft ground and breathe unfiltered air again for a change. It didn’t matter that it was nothing like Earth, that the smell was not entirely pleasant, or that you constantly had to watch your back. She could fully understand why people scrambled for every chance to be included in a landing party, never mind the dangers that came with it.

The captain filled them in on his conversation with Spock, who had already investigated why there were no recordings of hostile or dangerous species. The First Officer had found out that most of the existing data was just the result of a number of simple scans from a distance, while the first and only team of explorers to ever actually set foot on the planet had spent less than three hours here. Since it had no valuable mineral resources to offer, the uninhabited planet had obviously never been of great interest.

Walking right behind her, McCoy kept a close eye on Hope. He didn't want to risk a repeat of the beetroot incident, the need to protect her stronger than ever. Neither did he want to embarrass her by being overprotective, of course, especially not in front of the others, but he needed to make sure she knew that he had her back. Although she’d probably never admit it, perhaps wasn't even aware of it, he knew how deeply engrained her longing to feel secure was.

Behind them, Kirk smiled as he watched McCoy follow Hope like a guard dog. His friend was a healer with all his heart, his prime concern to protect his patients from any harm, no matter his personal feelings towards them. But with Hope, it was definitely more than that. There was something about her that seemed to touch a special place in the doctor’s heart and made his concern for her well-being go far beyond professional duty.

Following the slowly but steadily increasing signal, they had already passed through a forest, and were now crossing a meadow, feeling like ants fighting their way through blades of bright green grass twice their size. That way, at least, they were protected from the sun that had started to really burn down on them.

But just as McCoy was starting to complain about the heat, making sure they were all drinking enough to stay hydrated, heavy rainclouds began to form in the sky, and mere minutes later, it was raining heavily. They quickly sought shelter under a giant kind of toadstool, and when Kirk was nearly hit by a hailstone the size of his fist, he brusquely pushed Hope and the doctor further towards the trunk, motioning Peterson to follow suit.

Jenny stood with her face against the trunk, feeling McCoy’s body warm against her back, a protective hand cupping the back of her head, as he tried to shield her from stray hailstones. Despite her rather uncomfortable position, she couldn’t help enjoying the unexpected bliss of the moment. A whole army of tall and beefy Petersons couldn’t have made her feel as sheltered as she felt now, pressed against the caring doctor.

No more than a couple of minutes later, however, hail turned into the softest snow, and McCoy could release her again, almost sorry to let her go, since this was definitely the closest he’d ever come to holding her in his arms. Not counting the day she’d passed out in sickbay, seemingly ages ago, of course, as she’d not even been conscious then.

********************

Grateful for the material of their Starfleet uniforms, that protected them, at least moderately, against the heat and the cold, they continued on their hike, admiring the way the huge snowflakes drifted through the air, and at the same time hoping the sun would soon be back out to warm and dry them again.

Their wish was granted within less than ten minutes, when the cold and windy winter’s day turned back into a lovely spring day.

Kirk pulled out his communicator to check on Scotty’s progress.

“You’d better hurry, Scotty,” he urged. “The weather here’s worse than in Scotland! They may have all seasons in one day, while we, here, had all seasons in half an hour!”

Unfortunately, the chief engineer had only bad news for them. They’d had an unexpected power drain on the Enterprise, and needed several more hours to recharge the transporters.

“At that rate, you might as well send a shuttle, Mr. Scott,” Kirk suggested, starting to sound really annoyed. “It’ll be getting dark soon, and I’d rather not stay the night.”

“Err, about that, Sir,” Scotty began, then faltered.

“What now?” Kirk asked exasperatedly, his voice suspiciously quiet.

“Well, that power drain I talked about? If we recharge the shuttles, too, we’ll take away energy form the transporters.”

“I see,” the captain said wearily. “We’ll try to get comfortable for the night then. But you’d better come up with one of your miracles shortly, Mr. Scott. This is getting really tiresome.”

Concentrating on finding shelter rather than the source of the signal, the little group headed towards another forest further downhill. Luckily, they had brought enough food and water rations to last them another two or three days, thanks to McCoy’s prudence.

Less lucky, however, was the fact that Hope’s medical pouch was ripped out of her hand and carried away by a sudden, forceful gust of wind, just as she was about to take her eye medication.

Horrified, she watched the pouch being lifted ever higher into the air, while frantically holding on to the three men surrounding her, so as not to be carried away by the storm, too.

The wind died down again as quickly as it had started, and Hope stared incredulously after her pouch.

“Seriously?” she yelled angrily in the direction where it had vanished. “Can’t I do anything right? No wonder Starfleet won’t have me!”

To McCoy’s surprise, the captain was at her side before he was, and kindly but decidedly told her to stop the self-pitying, and get going again instead.

“This is only your first assignment,” he added encouragingly, “there’s still plenty of time for you to learn. You’re doing a great job so far.”

Hope looked thoughtfully at the captain for a moment, then nodded, brushed down her uniform, fixed her windswept hair – rather ineffectively – in a knot again, pulled herself up to her full height, and smiled at her three companions.

“Let’s go, gentlemen!”

Seeing Kirk give her a satisfied smile, seemingly impressed by how quickly she’d pulled herself together again, McCoy felt incredibly proud of her.

The party got moving again, the hike to the nearest forest taking much longer than Kirk had expected. The rain and snow had made the ground slippery, and walking became more difficult by the minute. Especially, since they were getting tired, too.

Falling into step beside her, McCoy told Hope not to worry. He had, of course, brought some of her eye-medication, too, although only a little quantity for emergencies. He therefore wanted to save it as long as possible and not let her have any yet.

Kirk was getting concerned about Hope, but McCoy correctly pointed out that she was probably in better shape than the two of them put together. The only sign of her getting tired, too, was her starting to slip and stumble repeatedly, as her nystagmus started to affect her eye-sight.

With McCoy still hesitating to squander the little of the medication they still had, Kirk smiled, watching the doctor hold out a helping hand towards her over and over again, which she stubbornly kept ignoring.

The two of them are certainly a perfect match in the stubbornness department, Kirk chuckled to himself.

He understood, however, why she wanted to prove that she could take care of herself. Especially after her failure to shoot that beetroot earlier. But McCoy just couldn't help himself. Tired as he certainly was, preventing her from getting hurt was still his prime concern.

His friend was a man always more concerned about others than about himself. And offering a helping hand to steady Hope when she lost her footing, was a reflex action.

After having slipped and nearly fallen three times, Hope gave in at last, and accepted the doctor’s help. Leading her by the hand, sometimes putting a steadying arm around her waist, they soon made faster progress again.

Their hike seemed to go on forever, and it was almost dark, when they finally found suitable shelter in a den formed by rocks and covered by a thick blanket of roots.

Firing at one of the rocks until it started to glow and radiate heat, Peterson asked permission to take the first watch.

“All right, Peterson. You first, then me, then McCoy,” the captain ordered, then turned to Hope almost apologetically. “Don’t take offence, Hope, I don’t doubt your ability to stay awake for a minute, but you don’t have any experience, and seeing what happened earlier, I just can’t risk it. If you freeze again, and there’s no one awake to step in, we’re all done for.”

There, he’d said it. Hope hung her head, but, of course, knew that he was right.

“Of course, Captain, I understand,” she replied quietly.

Peterson took position by the entrance to their den, while the others found a stonewall dry and smooth enough to prop themselves up against and try to find some sleep in a sitting-up position. Exchanging no more than a quick glance, Kirk and McCoy made themselves comfortable on either side of Hope.

********************

Jenny was wide awake, half-lying between the captain and the doctor, eyes closed and trying to breathe evenly, hoping to fake sleep convincingly. She felt pleasantly protected, nestled in between the two men, yet her mind wouldn’t rest, replaying the shooting scene over and over again. She’d always known she’d get into situations like that eventually, but the reality had still hit her hard. The captain, trained to find rest whenever possible, had fallen asleep within moments, but she knew the doctor hadn’t. She could feel his concerned eyes on her, and, after some time, his reassuring hand on her shoulder.

McCoy knew that she was afraid. Mostly of Jim sending her back to this out-of-the-way starbase. After the beetroot incident, it had been obvious that she was worried about her performance, fearing the captain would not commend her for further starship duty after all.

“Can’t sleep, can you, Hope?” he murmured.

“No,” she admitted. “Too many things on my mind.”

“Take it easy. Nobody expects you to be perfect on your first assignment with a landing party. There’s no shame in admitting to being a little nervous.” She looked at him in the near darkness.

“It was awful, Doctor,” she whispered. “I’ve never taken a life before.”

“And you didn’t, the captain did,” he reminded her gently. “If it even was a living being in the first place. But you might have to, one day. Comes with the job. You knew that when you joined Starfleet.”

She was silent for a moment, considering his words. “Do you ever get used to it?” she asked uneasily.

“Yes, and no,” he replied sincerely. “You’ll get used to using your weapons, to fight and defend yourself if you have to. But you’ll always be affected by hurting someone or even taking a life. That’s what makes you a decent human being.”

“I’ve always known that the real thing would be very different from training, from drills. In theory. But I never expected it to be so infinitely worse than anything I’ve ever prepared for.”

“It’ll get easier with time.”

Hope looked at him doubtfully, and he felt with her. “We really need to sleep now,” he said softly.

She nodded and, unthinkingly, reached for his hand still lying on her shoulder, giving it a grateful squeeze. When he didn’t pull away, she held on to it, drawing comfort from the touch and his presence.

And as she drifted off to sleep, the enormity of being part of the crew of the Enterprise, of being in the middle of a dangerous adventure with the captain, no less, followed her into her dreams. McCoy squeezed her fingers gently, comfortingly, and let her cling to his hand until she was fast asleep and he felt her grip loosen. He’d take care of her, try to give her the feeling of security she needed. Until she trusted him enough to tell him about her real issues.

Chapter 25

Hope had slept surprisingly well, more sitting than lying on the hard ground. The hike and all the excitement of the previous day had obviously worn her out more than she cared to admit. Or maybe having her favourite doctor hold her hand had helped. She hadn’t even been roused by the men changing shifts, and she felt a little guilty about it. Like she hadn’t pulled her weight.

But McCoy, who’d had the last watch and was now waking everybody up, didn’t seem to hold it against her.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” he smiled warmly, as he handed out nutrition bars, then added with a wink, “I’m not even asking you about last night’s dreams. This definitely doesn’t count as a new bed, does it?”

Jenny shook her head and laughed, touched that he still remembered their conversation from her first day aboard.

McCoy was relieved to see her well rested and cheerful again. After their whispered conversation the evening before, he’d been afraid that the beetroot incident, certainly the stuff of nightmares, might haunt her in her sleep. But when Jim had woken him to take over, Hope had been soundly asleep, looking perfectly peaceful, and he’d spent the bigger part of his watch just looking at her in the dim light of the still glowing rock.

She was so pretty. The longer he knew her, the more beautiful she became. And, if anything, her slightly dishevelled state after the hike in the wind and the rain only added to her beauty. He’d just sat there and gazed at her, enjoying that he could, for once, take his time to do so. She’d really grown on him since she’d arrived only months ago. And he’d rather not think about a time when she wouldn’t be in his life anymore.

The way she was sandwiched between Jim and Peterson made him smile. Quite obviously, he was not the only one to feel protective of her. Protectiveness just being one of the many emotions Hope evoked in him.

But the doctor didn’t want to examine his feelings too closely. Why he was so moved by her, why being near her made him feel so alive. Why she seemed to fill a place in his heart no one else could. What was the point?

He knew that he couldn’t let himself have romantic feelings for her. Not even if he were ready to be in a relationship again, which he most definitely wasn’t. No, despite all her qualifications, despite being wise and mature beyond her age, hell, probably even beyond his age, she was just a girl.

And he was not the one for her. He could see that clearly, whenever he watched her with other men, younger men. Like Chekov. He could tell that they had a lot in common, a lot of fun together, too. They made a lovely couple, and he really liked Chekov.

He’d learned to ignore, or at least live with the knot forming in his stomach, every time he watched them practice their dancing together, their bodies moving in total sync, Pavel holding her close and touching her in such an intimate way. This ridiculous feeling of jealousy, that he could never quite shake, was completely uncalled for. He had no right to feel that way, no rights regarding her in any respect.

Or was it even jealousy? He couldn’t be sure. Because what bothered him even more than the thought of Hope in someone else’s arms, was that this someone might not be gentle and considerate enough with her. But then, everything was a little different when it came to Hope, wasn't it?

No, he was most definitely not the one for her. But he could be her friend, and he was in the lucky position to protect and mentor her. That had to be enough. That, and the hope that, whoever she’d end up with one day, she’d choose wisely and find someone who’d treat her with the utmost kindness and respect, someone who’d give her all the love and tenderness she needed and deserved.

********************

“Bones?” Kirk’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Can you try your communicator? I can’t get through to the Enterprise on mine.”

McCoy pulled out his device, a frown on his face and a sense of foreboding in his guts. He couldn’t reach the ship, either. And neither could Peterson, for that matter.

All eyes were on Hope, who was fully focused on tying her communicator into her linguistic tricorder, adjusting the dials this way and that.

“You know what you’re doing?” Kirk asked impatiently. For the third time. Being stranded on a more or less unexplored planet was one thing. Not knowing what was going on with his ship, quite another.

“I certainly do, Sir,” she replied, remarkably calm and not taking her eyes off the display.

Spock would be proud, McCoy thought distractedly.

“And I can tell you two things.”

“Go on!” The captain’s patience was wearing thin.

“Firstly, that the signal we’ve been following has increased enormously, and I can now confirm with absolute certainty that the message is nothing but gibberish.”

“And secondly?”

She hesitated a moment, as if afraid to say it out loud.

“Just tell us, Hope, for heaven’s sake!” Kirk was at the end of his tether.

“Right. The reason we can’t reach the Enterprise is not some interference or shield. The Enterprise is simply not there. She’s gone.”

There was a shocked silence as they all took in the full meaning of her words, McCoy unconsciously taking a step closer to Hope. She seemed incredibly calm.

“Are you sure?” the captain finally broke the silence, and Jenny couldn’t tell whether he was doubting her abilities or simply grasping at straws.

“Positive, Captain,” she replied quietly. “Scotty has taught me some tricks, but above all, I do have a degree in linguistics, of which communications is a rather big part.”

“Of course, you do,” Kirk put an appeasing hand on her shoulder.

Then he looked at McCoy and Peterson.

“There could be a million reasons, let’s not expect the worst. They could be under attack, or have left for an emergency.”

“Or a parallel universe,” McCoy threw in unhelpfully, earning a glare from the captain.

“There will be a perfectly plausible explanation. I’m sure Spock has everything under control. We just need to make sure we’re still here when they come back for us.”

Kirk, never one to lose heart, gave each of his three companions an encouraging look. There was no doubt in his mind that they’d make it out of there safely. They always did.

“Come on, everyone, let’s go find the source of this blasted signal. I have a strong feeling we’re going to get some answers there.”

Chapter 26

Jenny walked behind Peterson, following the narrow trail of his footsteps, her mind racing. Behind her, she could hear snippets of the murmured conversation Kirk had with McCoy, exchanging ideas, discussing the best course of action, drawing on each other’s experience. She’d never realised before, quite how well attuned the two men really were to each other. It was greatly reassuring and made her feel cautiously optimistic in their current situation.

The general atmosphere was tense, but not at all hopeless. Jenny was surprised at how calm she felt in the face of having been abandoned on a strange planet with three men. By rights, the thought should be terrifying, but strangely enough, she wasn’t afraid. Probably because it just didn’t feel real. Yet.

Besides, she was with Captain Kirk, the man who beat all the odds. Surely, he’d find a way out of this one, too. And they had Dr. McCoy. He’d take good care of them all.

She had a sudden vision of the four of them living together in Robinson fashion, makeshift huts, tools and weapons, living on fruits and berries. At least her companions were interesting, decent people with considerable knowledge between them, and lots of stories to tell. It could certainly be worse.

“What are you smiling at?” McCoy was suddenly at her side, gentle eyes searching her face. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, Doctor, I’m all right,” Jenny assured him, feeling like throwing herself in his arms and just staying there forever. “I just had this funny vision of us as savages in grass skirts, collecting roots and berries.”

“Now there’s a prospect,” he chuckled, winking at her.

Then he turned serious again, breaking his stride to put gentle hands on her shoulders and look her straight in the eye.

“You know it won’t come to that, right? Jim and I have been in lots of similar situations and always found our way back home. The Enterprise had a perfectly good reason to disappear, and she will be back. It’s happened before.”

Jenny nodded, touched by his need to comfort and reassure her, when he was surely at least a little scared, too, and found that she actually believed him.

Kirk waited for his friend to finish his little pep talk, before joining them.

“How far to the origin of the signal, Hope?”

“We’re really close, Captain,” Hope looked at her tricorder to check the readings. “Five kilometres as the crow flies.”

“Right, close enough,” the captain murmured pensively, then, feeling the expectant eyes of his crew on him, added, “I don’t know, something just doesn’t feel right. I mean, who would go to the trouble of setting up a signal that sends out nothing but gibberish?”

“A trap?” volunteered Peterson.

Kirk look at him, nodding slowly. “My thoughts exactly. But who? And why?”

“You mean, why would anyone lure us here, on an uninhabited planet of no interest?” McCoy wondered.

“Well, only one way to find out!” Kirk clapped his hands and got going again.

“I was afraid you’d say that,” McCoy sighed, following right behind the captain.

********************

They walked in silence for a while, closely watching their surroundings, ready to draw their weapons at the first sign of danger. As the wind picked up and the temperature dropped, it got harder to keep up their pace.

Fighting their way through the increasing storm, McCoy saw Hope being almost lifted off the ground with every gust, thrown back every other step. He hurried to her side and resolutely grabbed her by the hand, allowing no argument, and pulled her along. But this time, she didn’t even hesitate and, gratefully accepting his help, let him walk right in front of her to shelter her from the full impact of the storm.

Less than ten minutes later, the wind had ebbed away again.

“Thank God,” Hope laughed, shaking her hair out and trying to tame it back into a knot. “It’s even harder to walk, when you can’t see!”

Kirk watched the doctor staring at Hope for a moment, mesmerised, before pulling a little box from his medikit and handing her her eye medication.

“Thank you, Doctor,” she smiled, taking the box from him. “I was actually talking about the hair in my face, but I’d really appreciate a little of the medication right now. When we get to the source, I’ll want all my senses operating at full capacity.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” McCoy nodded, and as they walked on, tried to cautiously broach the subject of accepting help with her. “And I’m really proud of you, Hope, for letting me help you through the storm and not putting up a fight today.”

“I guess, I’m making progress, accepting that I’m not the perfect officer, then,” she snorted, visibly embarrassed.

The doctor was just about to reply, when Kirk, having overheard the last of their conversation, beat him to it.

“There is no such thing as a perfect officer, Hope,” he said emphatically. “The important thing is to be part of a team. That means doing your best, of course, but it also includes accepting help from the others. Everybody has their weaknesses, and knowing each other’s makes a good team. Hiding your inefficiencies could put yourself and your team in danger, because, if the others don't realise you're in trouble and trust you to do what you're expected to do, they may not be able to compensate quickly enough."

Kirk and McCoy exchanged a quick glance, knowing only too well that both of them, just like Spock or Scotty, had more than once hidden their fears in order to save their friends' lives. But then, that was the difference between high ranking officers and young, less experienced crew members.

Hope lowered her head self-consciously, murmuring, "I'm sorry, Sir. I just didn't want to be a hindrance."

McCoy could see Hope feeling she’d been put firmly in her place, and shot Kirk an angry look.

"I’m sorry, I didn't mean this to sound reproachful,” the captain relented. “I actually wanted you to realise that you don't have to pretend to be stronger or better than you are. Just be yourself - you're perfectly all right. And you'll become even better with experience.”

Their conversation was cut short, when Peterson pointed out fast approaching rainclouds, and they ran for shelter under the branches of one of the smaller trees, just as the first raindrops fell.

“Let’s hope that’ll be over quickly, too!” Hope exclaimed, thinking that their snuggling up under that toadstool only yesterday seemed like ages ago.

There were no hailstones today, but the snow that followed was much heavier and covered everything within minutes, the ground underneath frozen and slippery, the temperature dropping uncomfortably.

Not wasting a single word on it, the little group huddled together for warmth, and as soon as they could see their hands in front of their faces again, continued on their way, hoping to get out of the cold again soon.

Less than one kilometre, Jenny thought as they made their way across the slippery ground, anticipation intermingling with dread.

And then, everything happened so fast.

An enormous, falling branch hit Peterson hard on the head, sending him crashing to his knees, before he suddenly vanished through a hole in the ground. He’d obviously stepped on a thin layer of ice covering some kind of lake or pond.

In a flash, Kirk threw himself after Peterson, but when the ice cracked under his weight, McCoy was just in time to pull him back, before the captain fell through the ice, too.

“I can do it!” Hope shouted, dropping to the ground, flat on her stomach, slowly and carefully crawling towards the edge of the hole. Now it was Kirk’s turn to pull back a frantic McCoy.

The captain and his CMO were holding their breath, as they watched Hope reach the edge and plunge her arms, and then her head into the ice-cold water looking for Peterson.

"Don’t worry, Bones, she's a tough one, she’s going to make it,” Kirk tried to calm down his friend as much as himself.

“She’s just pretending, she’s not that tough at all, and you know that very well!" McCoy muttered under his breath, holding on tight to Kirk’s arm in order to restrain himself from going after Hope, not taking his eyes off her for a second.

“Trust me. She wants to be a good officer, and being prepared to risk her life for others, certainly makes her one.”

Just when McCoy thought his heart couldn’t take the strain any longer, he saw Hope come back up for air, holding on to a red-sleeved arm, trying hard to pull an unconscious Peterson back onto the ice.

And for what he thought were the longest moments of his life, he watched her struggle and strive, and finally manage to pull the much bigger man out of the water and then drag him, excruciatingly slowly, back to safety.

Immediately dropping to his knees beside Peterson, the doctor looked at Kirk and indicated Hope with his head, trusting the captain to take care of the exhausted, shivering young woman.

“Thank you for saving Peterson’s life,” the captain said with heartfelt gratitude, as he used his sleeves to rub her hair dry and ran his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm her up. “I am awfully proud of you.”

When McCoy had cleaned and closed the gash in Peterson’s head and made sure there were no further injuries, especially to his spine, or internal bleeding, he quickly got up to check on Hope, his heart aching as he saw her standing there, so frail and delicate, shivering as the captain rapidly rubbed his hands up and down her arms and back.

Kirk let go of her, letting the doctor take over, and McCoy just had to pull her close for a moment, overwhelmed by the relief of seeing her unharmed.

“Silly girl! Don’t you ever do that to me again,” he murmured affectionately in her ear, and it sounded almost like a sob. “I’ve been worried sick. Next time you want to impress the captain, find something less dangerous to do, please!”

Hope, still trembling, looked up at him fondly, and he saw a familiar glint in her eye.

“All this just to prove to you that being underweight has its advantages, after all,” she chuckled.

McCoy shook his head, exasperated, and then, hearing her teeth clattering looked over at Kirk.

“We’ll have to get them to a warmer place, Jim. And quickly, if we want Peterson to even have a chance.”

So, carrying the still unconscious Peterson between them, Kirk and McCoy followed Hope, tricorder in hand, leading the way to the source of the signal.

Luckily, it had stopped snowing, but the temperature was still low, and not a hint of sun in the sky. Jenny was just wondering where to find a warm place, when she suddenly spotted a bunker in the midst of all the greenery.

“Look, Captain!” she called out, but her companions had already spotted the bunker, too.

“Damn! How did a man-made building end up here?” Kirk cursed, while McCoy headed straight for the entrance.

“Stop, Bones!” Kirk hissed. “We can’t just go in there! We have no idea how it got here, or who or what to expect in there!”

“I don’t care, Jim!” the doctor snapped back. “If we don’t get Peterson out of the cold this very instant, we’re going to lose him. And Hope needs to warm up soon, too, or whatever we’ll find or not find in there, won’t matter anymore.”

Jim could see the anguish in his friend’s eyes, and relented.

“All right, Bones. But at least let me go in first and secure the place.”

Bones nodded, shifting Peterson’s weight so that Kirk could step away, grateful for Hope instantly taking the captain’s place, and a minute later, they were inside the windowless building, grateful to be out of the icy wind.

Hope was sitting on the floor with Peterson’s head cradled in her lap, holding a flashlight while McCoy gave him a heavy sedative and ran his tricorder thoroughly over the security officer’s body. And Kirk searched the apparently empty room for any clues to what they were up against.

Chapter 27

On the Enterprise, Spock and Uhura were listening intently to Klingon communication channels, as they had done incessantly for the past five hours.

With the riddle of the mysterious signal still unsolved, Uhura hadn’t been able to sleep, and had been working all through the night, trying to determine the source or find a code that would finally give the message some meaning.

She hadn’t succeeded in either, but in the early morning hours had picked up on inter Klingon communications instead. Being quite the expert on decoding Klingon channels, she’d soon been able to listen in on more than just snippets, and, putting two and two together, had run to the bridge, where she was sure to find Spock.

The First Officer had listened attentively, as she’d told him that there was obviously a rumour about a new human super weapon going round the Klingon Empire. A human named Jennifer Hope, no less. Somehow word had got out that Hope, to whose Starfleet file there might or might not exist a sealed supplement, had been assigned to the Enterprise on what they mistakenly thought was a secret mission.

Always trying to stay ahead of the Federation, the Klingons had come up with a plan to not only get rid of Hope before she could become a danger to the Empire, but to get rid of the greatly feared and unpopular Captain Kirk at the same time.

Obviously, the Klingons knew about the dangers that the planet’s flora held, and counted on whoever was setting foot on the surface to be killed within the first couple of hours. Choosing a remote, insignificant planet and using a seemingly harmless linguistic mystery as bait to ensure Hope’s participation, had been a stroke of genius, Spock had to admit.

It was only when he heard that, apparently, a Klingon ship was currently on its way to check if the Enterprise was still in orbit, that he’d been galvanised into action.

With the transporters still down, there was no way of bringing the landing party back aboard safely in time. So, Spock decided on a bold move that would have made Kirk proud.

Not even risking to open a channel to inform the captain, he had Uhura break off all communication between them and the landing party, and Sulu warp out of orbit immediately, certain that this would trick the Klingons into believing they had everybody safely back aboard already. Surely, they wouldn’t assume the Enterprise left orbit without their captain, abandoning him on a remote and dangerous planet.

What Spock had failed to take into account, however, as he learned now, listening to the ongoing communications between the nearby Klingon ship and some Klingon base, was that they also had a plan B in place, in case the planet’s flora failed to do its part.

They seemed to have built some sort of trap around the source of their fabricated signal, armed with explosives that could be activated remotely.

As the last piece of information sank in, Uhura looked at Spock, aghast, but the First Officer was already having Chekov set course back to the planet, Warp 8, then reminded Scotty that his priority was to have the transporters fully functional on arrival, and finally ordered Sulu to get the Galileo ready as backup, just in case.

********************

Having found no clues whatsoever, unable to determine even what strange material the bunker was built from, Kirk went back to the door. Certain that the daily hour of winter should be over by now, he wanted to have a closer look around outside.

He soon found, however, that the door, which the storm had slammed shut right behind them, didn’t open from the inside. They were locked in. Quelling the rising panic in his chest at the realisation, he first tried to kick it open, then used his phaser on it. But the door wouldn’t budge.

Kirk tried to burn a hole through it, then through the wall and even through the ceiling with his phaser. To no avail, since the phaser didn’t have the slightest impact on the material, even though it seemed to be permeable to air. He could definitely feel a breeze coming through the walls. At least, they wouldn’t suffocate in here.

Wanting McCoy and Hope to focus on Peterson and not worry them even more, Kirk turned around with a confident smile on his face.

“Only a matter of time until I’ve figured this out,” he said more to himself than to the others, earning him a trusting look from Hope and a rather sceptical one from the doctor.

Having suffered a severe concussion, Peterson was fading in and out of consciousness, and McCoy kept a close watch on his readings, hoping to God that he wouldn’t have to do any kind of field surgery with nothing but his medikit at hand, and praying that the Enterprise would just pop up out of nowhere, providing him with all the comforts of his well-equipped sickbay. He even vowed to never, ever again complain about the shortcomings of the ship’s sickbay, if only he could be back there again.

Looking at Hope, who made every effort to make Peterson comfortable, stroking his face and softly singing to him, the doctor knew they just had to get back to the Enterprise. This extraordinary young woman deserved so much better than going missing on her first assignment. There was so much potential in her. The brilliance, the resourcefulness, the creativity, the kindness, the love, just couldn’t be lost to the world. Not like this. Not, when they didn’t even know the reason.

Jenny looked down at Peterson’s pale face. She hadn’t known him very well before this assignment. But they had talked quite a bit during their hike, and she’d found him to be a really bright guy with very high expectations in life. She knew him in the best of hands with Dr. McCoy, of course, quite sure that his life was not in danger any longer. But what would happen to him, if they didn’t get back to the Enterprise? What would happen to all of them? Would this be the end? She’d come such a long way. And just for this?

Kirk was still relentlessly examining the room, scanning and patting down every inch of the walls, floor and ceiling to find some way to escape. He was worried about Peterson. About Hope and McCoy, too. But what was really driving him mad was the uncertainty of his ship’s fate. Where had they gone? Why hadn’t they informed him? Were they even still alive?

Feeling completely helpless, he kicked the floor hard in frustration, and suddenly heard the faintest echo, a sign that there was a hollow space underneath where he stood. Getting down on his knees, he groped around, hoping his fingers would find some sort of gap or crack, any proof that there was a door, an opening. When he didn’t have any luck, he tried his phaser again, and was immensely relieved, when he managed to burn a hole, and finally a bigger opening in the floor, revealing what seemed to be a narrow air shaft leading under the wall and outside or into another room.

McCoy was sitting on the floor next to Hope, her head resting on his shoulder, exhaustion finally having got the better of her, when Kirk gave them the good news. The captain had cleared the opening to an air shaft, which was, unfortunately, too narrow for him to squeeze through. Now he was searching their equipment for anything he could attach his tricorder to, in order to find out where the tunnel was leading.

“I could try,” Hope offered, suddenly wide awake again. “Maybe I can fit through?”

“Certainly not!” McCoy was appalled. “One heroic deed per day is definitely enough. We have no idea where this tunnel leads, how long it is, or what awaits on the other side.”

“Would you rather stay locked up in here?” Hope asked softly, then turned to Kirk, who didn’t look very happy with the idea, either.

“Please, Captain, let me try. I really want to get out of this place.”

Kirk nodded slowly, shrugging apologetically at McCoy.

“Sorry, Bones, but Hope is right. We can’t just sit around here, doing nothing.”

Jenny got up, gently turning Peterson over to McCoy, glad for the chance to stretch her tingling legs. But before she could follow the captain to the air shaft, the doctor grabbed her hand and pulled her back down towards him.

“Be safe!” he whispered, and she saw his eyes well up as he looked at her imploringly, his other hand softly caressing her hair and her face.

Just two little words, but seeing how much he cared gave her the courage she needed.

“Don’t worry, Doctor,” she smiled at him reassuringly. “I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

And surprising herself, she gave him an impulsive peck on the cheek, before turning away again, the ghost of his stubble still lingering on her lips as she squeezed through the narrow opening and slowly crawled through the tunnel, fighting the slightly claustrophobic feeling.

Gazing after her, McCoy distractedly touched his cheek, where Hope’s lips had just brushed it. Letting go of her hand had been a real physical challenge. He needed her here, safely by his side, where he could protect her. He would certainly never forgive himself, or Jim for that matter, if something happened to her now.

And what a great job of protecting her you’ve done so far, Leonard! he thought sadly, the image of Hope almost being pulled into the water after Peterson still fresh in his mind.

Was he proud of her? Of course, he was! She was awesome. But the thought of something happening to her was simply unbearable.

Their cosy evening chats over coffee seemed like ages ago, and he’d give anything to see her dance with Chekov or sing with Uhura again. The thought struck him that Jim nearly hadn’t let him come on this mission, and he was filled with a sudden sense of gratitude, to fate, or whoever else had changed the captain’s mind at the last minute.

********************

Hardly able to move in the narrow tunnel, Jenny was making slow progress, Kirk’s encouraging words the only thing to keep her from panicking. Luckily, the air shaft was just connecting the room they’d been in to another, smaller one behind the wall, and once she’d managed to push open the flap at the other end, and crawled out, she could breathe easy again.

Even though she knew he couldn’t come to her rescue, should she need help, she was glad that the captain was still within earshot, feeling less alone talking to him directly than on the communicator.

Taking in the small room, that was just as empty as the other one, the only thing that stood out was a sort of small device or computer, wires all over, leading in all directions, reminding her a little of the bombs found in almost every classic spy movie.

She froze.

“What is it, Hope?” Kirks concerned voice sounded from the air shaft.

“I think it’s some kind of explosive device, Captain,” she tried to report as calmly as possible.

There was a short silence, then Kirk asked, “Anything specific? Anything you can find out about its origin or how it works?”

Jenny circled the device slowly, careful not to touch it, and started to give a running commentary as she moved along.

“It doesn’t seem to be activated,” she observed, listening closely. “No lights, no noise, not even a hum. And it appears to be rather new. Very clean, anyway.”

Then she saw it, the tiniest plate, almost hidden by a bunch of wires. Angling the flashlight so she could see what was written on the plate, she gasped.

“Captain,” she swallowed hard, “it’s Klingon.”

“All right,” Kirk replied after a moment. “Save everything to your tricorder, and come back now.”

Jenny didn’t have to be told twice, even though she shuddered at the thought of having to crawl through that tunnel again, and made her way back in record time.

The first thing she saw, after the captain had pulled her out, were McCoy’s eyes lighting up, the immense relief written in his face, just like the worry had been earlier, and she felt his affection enwrapping her like a soft, warm blanket.

Just as Kirk started to wonder out loud, what in heaven’s name the Klingons had to do with anything, his communicator started to beep.

They all just stared at it in disbelief for a second, before the captain flipped it open and Spock’s beautiful voice filled the room.

Not even listening to what he was saying, Jenny first flung her arms around Kirk’s neck, squeezing him tight in a brief hug, then skipped over to where McCoy was sitting, and dropping to her knees, hugged him so tightly, he could hardly breathe.

Hugging her back and laughing with her, McCoy wanted nothing more than to hold her and never let go. But the doctor in him, of course, knew that Peterson had to be his priority right now. So, when Spock told them that two of the transporters were fully functional again, and asked them to return to the Enterprise immediately, he was more than happy to have Scotty beam him and a half-conscious Peterson up.

His happiness was brought to a sudden end, when the Chief Engineer cursed loudly on their arrival, and he could hear Spock tell the captain that, unfortunately, the transporter had just broken down again.

Feeling like the rug had been pulled from under his feet, McCoy had to draw on every ounce of professionalism he had, to stay focused on Peterson’s treatment, while his heart was filled with dismay at having left Hope behind.

Chapter 28

Hurrying along as Peterson was rushed to sickbay, McCoy felt sick to his stomach, his loathing of transporters at an all-time high. And as soon as the security officer was settled safely in sickbay and could be entrusted into Chapel’s care, the doctor left for the bridge to find out what was happening.

He arrived just in time to hear Spock tell the captain that it was imperative for him and Hope to either find a way to get out of that bunker, or defuse the device. Either way, they needed to hurry, since the Klingon ship was estimated to reach orbit in 1.8 hours.

Exchanging worried glances with Uhura, the doctor listened tensely, as Kirk discussed this with Hope and, for lack of escape routes, agreed to her going back through the air-shaft once more, in order to try and defuse the bomb.

“Are you insane?” McCoy exploded. “Hope is not a bomb disposal expert!”

Spock turned around and calmly looked at the doctor.

“I will guide her through every step, of course,” he said, then added almost as an afterthought, “Mr. Sulu is taking the Galileo to pick up Captain Kirk and Dr. Hope, Doctor. He is leaving in 7.3 minutes. I recommend you accompany him.”

McCoy didn’t care whether it was just to get him off the bridge, or because Spock thought his medical services might actually be needed. He gratefully grabbed the chance to have a part in getting the two of them home. And as he hurriedly left for the shuttle bay, picking up his medikit on the way, he was pretty convinced to have seen concern in the otherwise impassive Vulcan face, too.

With McCoy out of the way, Spock returned his full attention to Kirk and the matter at hand. He had to shield himself more than usual from the overflowing emotions of the bridge crew, sensing extreme distress, especially coming from Uhura and Chekov, his sensitivity probably heightened by his own burgeoning reservations.

Chekov was almost frozen with fear, working hard to keep his mind on his duties as navigator, while listening to Spock first talking to the captain, then to Jenny. He’d seen the terror in McCoy’s face, and although he didn’t have a clear picture of what had happened on the planet yet, he knew that Peterson had returned severely wounded, and that Jenny and Kirk were in immediate danger.

Jenny, his kind and sweet Jenny, having to defuse a bomb. It didn’t bear thinking about.

Hanging on every word that was exchanged between Spock and the two remaining members of the landing party, he could hear Kirk and Jenny having another hushed discussion about whether she should really take the risk, and pictured his brave friend singlehandedly disarming an unknown Klingon weapon.

********************

In the bunker, Kirk tried to stay calm, wanting to radiate nothing but confidence, as he gently rested his hands on Hope’s shoulders and gazed deeply into her eyes.

“Be careful, Hope,” he said softly, “You’ve proven yourself an impressive Starfleet officer these past two days. I couldn’t be prouder. And I have complete faith in you getting us out of here.”

Hope smiled up at him, touched by his praise and faith in her.

“I can do this, Captain,” she said in a steady voice, then turned around determinedly and slid into the tunnel.

Kirk stared after her, wishing it would be him rather than her, facing the danger behind the wall, and trying not to think about what McCoy must be going through right now. Knowing him, the poor doctor was certainly overcome with guilt at having left his friends behind.

When Hope had reached the other side, Spock had her carefully check the whole room for any other way to escape, wanting to leave the defusing of the bomb as their last resort. But when she was positive that there was no other exit, he knew there could be no further delay.

Before he let her touch any of the wires, however, Kirk heard Spock go through a couple of meditation exercises with Hope. They’d obviously done these exercises before, and Kirk was touched by his first officer’s thoughtfulness.

After taking one last deep breath, Hope started on her task. With Spock monitoring her every move via tricorder, she followed his directions to the letter, untangling, bending and cutting wires with the nimble fingers of a keyboard player. Even so, it took her longer than Spock had calculated, and if he’d been prone to nervousness, he might certainly have begun to feel that way.

Hope was so focused on her task, that she’d almost failed to notice a rectangular shape in the far wall starting to glow, then open like a door. It was only the sudden cool breeze that made her look up in surprise.

“Take your hands slowly off the wires,” she heard Spock say, audibly struggling to stay calm. “Get out at once, see if you can free the captain, and then run as fast and as far as you can. It appears the Klingons have joined us and are now activating their device.”

Fighting the urge to simply freak out and be done with it, Jenny grabbed her tricorder and sprinted through the opening. She ran around the building to the door through which they’d initially entered, and found it opening easily.

The captain was out in a flash, momentarily squinting against the sun as he mouthed a quick ‘Thank you’, then, breaking into a run, grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along.

They were less than a minute away, when they heard, and felt, the explosion behind them, throwing them to the ground. Scrambling to his feet as fast as he could, Kirk pulled Hope up with him and told her to just keep running.

The explosion had started a fire that seemed to be spreading extremely fast, setting off a number of smaller explosions all around the area. Not breaking his stride, Kirk pulled out his communicator.

“Spock! We got away, but we need to keep moving,” he panted. “The fire’s spreading fast. Any chance for a beam-up?”

“I’m sorry, no, Sir,” came the instant reply, and the captain could clearly hear the relief of knowing they made it out in Spock’s voice. “But Mr. Sulu and Dr. McCoy have taken the Galileo and are already close. They are scheduled to land in 20 minutes. Keep going in this direction, I’ll give them your coordinates.”

Looking back and seeing the flames and smoke approaching fast, Kirk shouted at Hope to pick up speed. He could see she was doing her best already, but he feared it was just not good enough. Then, distracted only for a second by the crackling flames gaining on them, she tripped and fell, her boot stuck under a root, and the captain could see her leg twisted at an awkward angle.

He hurried to her side, trying to help her up, but her agonised cry as she fell back to the ground told him that she was badly hurt. Not thinking twice, he removed her leg from under the root, trying not to look at her tear streaked face, scrunched up in pain, as he did so. Then he hoisted her inelegantly over his shoulder and set off running again.

Kirk tried to ignore the burning ache in his chest, focusing on keeping ahead of the flames, but after a few minutes, he had to stop and set her down for a moment. Hope was certainly anything but heavy, but still quite a weight to carry, if you were running for your life.

Seeing that the captain had reached his limits, Jenny pleaded with him to continue without her.

Maybe this was it, she thought, maybe she’d beaten death once too often.

“Please, go, Captain!” she cried. “I’m just slowing you down. You need to get back to the Enterprise!”

Shaking his head vehemently, Kirk bent down to pick her up again, and she realised that he was never going to just leave her there. So she did the only thing she could do. She reached for his hand to pull herself up, and started to hobble as best she could, fear and shock pushing her beyond her limits.

Drawing on everything she’d ever learned from Spock regarding self-control, she managed to convince the captain that she was good to run on her own again. And whispering Dr. McCoy’s name like a mantra, visualising his kind face as he treated her injured leg, she somehow made her way to the shuttle, not quite sure if the Sulu and McCoy she saw there were real or just figments of her imagination.

********************

When Spock informed Sulu and McCoy about the circumstances of Kirk and Hope’s escape, McCoy nearly had a heart-attack, not knowing if he was dying from fright or relief.

“My God, I should never have left without them!” he lamented, not even listening to Spock pointing out that his wish was illogical, since he couldn’t have helped them, anyway.

Sulu landed the Galileo at the coordinates the First Officer had given them, and McCoy could have cried with happiness, when he spotted Kirk and Hope come racing towards the shuttle.

Panting heavily, her face twisted in pain, Hope looked at him strangely as she reached for his outstretched hand and let him pull her up into the shuttle. The moment she was inside, she fell into his arms and promptly passed out, taking him completely by surprise, once again.

Cradling her limp form in his arms, he carried her further inside, throwing Kirk a questioning glance over his shoulder. The captain, who’d been hauled in by Sulu right behind Hope, shouted, “It’s her right leg, Bones,” then joined Sulu in the cockpit for immediate take-off.

McCoy eased her gently into a seat, reclining it as far as it would go. He was about to give her a stimulant to wake her up, but thought better of it and carefully pried the boot off her right leg. What he saw there made him wince. This ankle was not just broken but shattered. He switched the hypo from stimulant to heavy sedative and got to work immediately. Beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he concentrated on his bone knitter, his mood alternated between rage with Jim, admiration for Hope‘s toughness and frustration with her silly recklessness. As soon as the shuttle was safely on its way, Kirk left Sulu to it and joined McCoy at the back of the shuttle where the doctor was working on a still unconscious Hope’s ankle, muttering under his breath, a fierce look on his face.

When the captain approached, McCoy turned on him with accusing eyes.

“What happened, Jim?” he ranted. “How could you let her run on a broken ankle? How did she even manage to? No wonder she passed out from the pain. I can’t even begin to imagine how much it must have hurt.”

Kirk felt terrible, even without McCoy shouting at him. He should have realised the pain she was in. He should have insisted on carrying her.

“I did carry her for quite a bit,” he tried to explain quietly. “But we were going too slow, and she convinced me that she was all right running on her own, again. I’m not a doctor, Bones, and we’d probably both have died in the flames. You can’t outrun fire carrying someone even as light as Hope.”

“But you can, of course, run on a shattered ankle,” the doctor grumbled surlily, relenting a little when he saw Jim tenderly brush Hope’s hair from her face, looking genuinely remorseful.

When Jenny came to, she felt two things: pain and gentle hands combing through her hair and squeezing her shoulder. She opened her eyes and was surprised to see the captain’s worried face smiling down on her instead of the doctor’s.

“I‘m so sorry, Hope,” he said guiltily, “if I’d known how seriously injured you were, I’d never have allowed you to run.”

“There was no other way, Captain,” she whispered, her voice still hoarse from the smoke. “You wouldn’t have left me behind, and we’d both be dead now.”

Then she swallowed hard, worried, as Kirk’s words about her being seriously injured sank in.

“How serious are my injuries, anyway?” she asked hesitantly.

But the captain didn’t get a chance to answer, as a familiar grumpy voice told him to stop worrying his patient, and a disgruntled McCoy shoved him out of the way. Kirk’s friendly face was replaced by the reassuringly disapproving one of Dr. McCoy, who promptly started to rant at her.

“How could you do this to yourself? Torturing your ankle like that? Don’t you know there’s a reason why we feel pain? To stop us from hurting ourselves even more when we’re already injured? And with your bone material, too! You really should have known better!”

Jenny closed her eyes and let his words wash over her, taking comfort in the knowledge that the doctor would never rant at a patient like that, if it were really serious. He was just venting, pouring out all the pent-up fears and worries she’d caused him.

When he was done, she opened her eyes again, smiling up at him apologetically.

“You fixed my ankle, I take it?”

“Well,” he admitted grudgingly, “it took all of my surgical skills and then some, and we’ll still have to make improvements when we get to sickbay, but basically, yes, your ankle will be fine.”

“With time,” he added after a moment, emphasising those last two words.

“Thank you, Doctor,” she smiled fondly, feeling wonderfully cared for and happy despite the pain.

McCoy sat down in the seat next to her and studied her face for a minute.

“Torturing your ankle like that!” he frowned, shaking his head. “Has it never occurred to you that I might not be able to fix it?”

Jenny pretended to think for a second or two, then grinned widely at him.

“No, Doctor, it hasn’t.”

“You’re as bad as Jim,” he grumbled, sighing exaggeratedly, his eyes betraying the strong affection he felt for both her and the captain.

Chapter 29

When they’d transferred Hope from the shuttle to sickbay, and he was finally satisfied with his work on her ankle, McCoy gave her a stronger sedative to ease the pain and let her rest.

Thank god for biobeds, he thought, as she kept trying to play down the pain that was so clearly visible from the readings above her head.

Watching her features slowly relax as the sedative took effect, he thought what an admirable, brave young woman she was. Trying to imagine what pain running all the way to the Galileo must have caused her, made him shudder. It had certainly done some major damage to her nerves and sinews and given him and his bone knitter a run for their credits.

He was relieved to see Hope slipping further into restful drowsiness, her eyes becoming more unfocused, and her breathing slowing down.

“So lucky, living on borrowed time,” she mumbled sleepily.

Or at least that’s what he heard.

“Sorry, what was that, my dear?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

But she’d already dozed off.

Shaking his head fondly, he gently brushed a strand of sweaty, sooty hair from her forehead. She’d want to clean up properly, when she woke up again. And so might he, for that matter. With everything going on, he hadn’t had a minute to shower or change since he’d beamed up with Peterson. He’d do that as soon as he was sure that Hope was fast asleep and would be for some time.

Feeling a wave of affection washing over him, he let his hand linger a little on her cheek, smiling when she nestled comfortably into his touch.

“Sleep tight, love,” he whispered softly.

And just as he turned to leave, she murmured something that sounded suspiciously like, “Love you, too!”

So typically Hope. So sweet, it put a wide grin on his face while his heart skipped a beat. He was just glad no one else was close enough to overhear. He’d never hear the end of it, and she’d be mortified if she ever found out what she’d just said in her sleep.

Unable to leave her side just yet, McCoy sat down on the edge of her bed, tenderly caressing her face. But this time, she didn’t lean into his touch. She was truly out cold. And suddenly he realised that he missed it. That he wanted it, needed it, her response to his touch.

Uh oh, he thought, pulling his hand away quickly, tread carefully there, Leonard, there’s a very fine line between caring for a patient, a friend even, and ... this, whatever this is. But you definitely don’t want to cross that line.

He left sickbay without another glance at Hope, trying to think of anything but her. But, of course, every other thought was soon replaced again by the image of her trusting face and the memory of her small form snuggled so unreservedly into his arms as he carried her out of the shuttle.

********************

Jenny woke up to a bustling crowd around her bed, making her smile even before she was quite awake. There were Uhura and Chekov, and the guys from the band, all chatting animatedly, obviously having a good time.

Somewhere further away, she could hear McCoy grumbling.

“This is still sickbay!” he blustered. “If you lot can’t behave, I’ll have you removed!”

Everyone just laughed, confident that he wouldn’t do so, and Jenny couldn’t help joining in.

Hearing her chuckle, there was a collective intake of breath as all eyes turned on her. Jenny was overwhelmed by all the affection she felt coming her way.

Uhura was the first to spring into action. Bending down to press a smacking kiss on her cheek and envelop her in a bear hug, she squeezed her so tightly that Jenny let out a squeak.

“Oh don’t be a wuss!” Uhura laughed, “I’m nowhere near your leg, and there’s nothing else wrong with you, is there?”

Chekov was next. Unlike Uhura, he bent down carefully, pecking her lightly on the cheek, treating her as if she were made of glass, and Jenny couldn’t resist reaching up to tousle his full shock of hair.

“Missed me?” she asked no one in particular.

“You scared the shit out of us, Jen!” Ben, their lead guitarist blurted out, earning a withering look from Uhura.

“Don’t mind him, love,” she turned back to Jenny. “Maybe when he grows up, he’ll remember his manners.”

Jenny looked around. She’d missed that. The easy banter with her friends. Even though she’d only been gone for a couple of days.

A big, grateful smile spread across her face as she realised that she’d found a new home, a new family on the Enterprise. And when she spotted McCoy through the doorway and their eyes met, she had a feeling he might just have thought the same thing.

********************

McCoy enjoyed having her in sickbay, where he could keep a close eye on her, immensely. After the recent events, he felt he deserved a break from the constant worrying. And seeing her happily surrounded by her friends warmed his heart. Exactly what she needed. Although, being as popular as she was, the constant stream of visitors never stopped, and he had to intervene sometimes. She was still on painkillers and needed to rest.

Jenny was amazed by how many people came to see her, enjoying the visits that made her days confined to bed seem to go faster. But lovely as everyone was, sometimes she just wanted to sleep and was grateful that McCoy turned her visitors away, when it got too much for her. He knew that she didn’t have the heart to do it herself. One of the many little things he did for her, she thought affectionately.

Thinking of McCoy made her smile. He seemed to spend even more time than usual in sickbay now, which she’d noticed with a mixture of amusement and gratitude. He had no idea, of course, how much his care meant to her. And sometimes, she felt sorry for him being such a worrywart, since he was never able to relax. But knowing that he cared so much, that he was always looking out for her, filled her with a blissful sense of security, she’d never dreamed of finding.

Like right now, late into Beta shift, when she saw him coming in, carrying two mugs of coffee. Having decided that sickbay was as good a place as any to have coffee, the doctor had suggested they resume their evening routine, and Jenny enjoyed the continuation of their cosy chats immensely.

Setting the mugs down on her bedside table, he searched her face in this kind but earnest way that was so typical of him, while gently helping her to a comfortable position.

“Beetroot on your mind?” he asked softly, his face full of compassion.

“How did you know?” she asked, genuinely surprised.

The doctor just smiled.

“I’m a mind reader.”

“Sure,” Jenny laughed, feeling a little uneasy. But maybe that was exactly what he wanted. He was a pretty good psychologist. She knew that he would bring up her ‘troubles’ again, too, sometime, and just hoped that it would be later rather than sooner.

“Maybe you’re not as unfathomable as you think you are,” he went on, his twinkling eyes never leaving her face. “I’ve known you for a while now, Hope. And just as I can see when you’re in pain, I can see when something is bothering you. You’re usually such a cheerful person, it’s not difficult to spot the difference when you’re not.”

“Can’t fool you, can I?” she asked, hoping to sound flirtatious rather than worried.

McCoy just tilted his head a little to the side and shrugged.

Damn, if he didn’t know how to coax someone into opening up.

Chapter 30

Hope’s ankle was healing very slowly, which she bore with poorly concealed impatience, but which was to be expected, as McCoy kept reminding her, considering her bone structure.

At least Hope never lacked entertainment, as visitors kept coming and going at all times. Some coming just to keep her company, others coming for a talk with the ‘agony aunt‘, as the doctor often affectionately called her. They kept her busy, and she obviously didn’t mind. And neither did he, as long as she got enough rest as well.

“You’re certainly my most popular patient,” McCoy smiled, pleased to see her returning to her happy, untroubled self a little more with every day.

“How can you even walk on those tiny feet of yours?” the doctor joked, standing at the foot of her bed, gently checking her ankle and watching her face intently for signs of pain as he carefully tilted her foot this way and that.

Then he put on a stern face, and Jenny knew she was in for another lecture.

“You’ll want to be more careful in the future, my dear. If you torture your ankle like that again, next time, I might not be able to fix it,” he grumbled good-naturedly, then added with a wry grin,” At least your nail polish hardly got scratched.”

“Thank God for small mercies!” Jenny laughed, McCoy’s sense of humour never failing to cheer her up, and thinking how much she enjoyed the delicate touch of his hands on her foot.

********************

Hope’s next visitor was a very subdued Scotty, gingerly slinking into her room, then, after the slightest hesitation, surprising her with a brief but very tight hug.

“Ach, lassie,” he sighed, “I’m so sorry I put you through all of this! I’d have come to see you sooner, too, but that bloody excuse for a transporter just wouldn’t give me a break.”

“Don’t apologise, Scotty,” Hope smiled at the dismayed man. “It’s hardly your fault! You did everything you could. You always do.”

Shrugging helplessly, Scotty smiled at her apologetically.

“If there ever was a time for me to pull off a miracle, it would surely have been when the Enterprise’s queen of hearts was in danger.”

“Enough already!” Hope laughed, blushing a little and slapping Scotty’s arm playfully.

“Seriously, lassie,” the chief engineer went on, “I was dying a little every time I had to give you lot the bad news of yet another problem with the transporter. Turns out Spock’s blasted rock left little souvenirs all over the ship when it exploded. You never know where the next one will pop up. Spock and my lads are still trying to figure it all out.”

“I won’t keep you long, then, Scotty,” Hope smiled, sensing his restlessness. “Thanks for coming by! Now get back to your lads. I feel a lot safer knowing that you’re taking care of the ship.”

*********************

“How’s my favourite human super weapon?” Uhura bounced on the edge of Jenny’s bed.

“Almost as good as new,” Jenny beamed at her bubbly friend, chuckling at yet another one of the strange terms of endearment Uhura always came up with. “The doctor says, I can go back to my quarters by the end of next week.”

Uhura didn’t miss a certain lack of enthusiasm at the prospect, questioning, not for the first time, Jenny’s true feelings for McCoy. But right now, there was a more pressing mystery on her mind.

“Sounds great, sugar! And now I want to know everything about the real Jennifer Hope.”

“What do you mean?” Jenny frowned, not sure where this was going.

“No need to be coy, darling, this is just between us,” Uhura assured her with a conspiratorial wink. “That’s why I didn’t bring any of the gang! You can tell me, I’m your friend, and I’m just dying to know!”

“Know what exactly?” Jenny was getting really confused and a little worried now.

“About you being a human super weapon, silly!” Uhura exclaimed, getting impatient.

“A what? I thought this was just another of your weird nicknames for me.”

“You mean you don’t have a secret sealed Starfleet file?”

“What? You tell me, since you seem to know so much about me, anyway! Or ask Starfleet, I’m sure they’ll be happy to help you out.”

Jenny was getting a little annoyed now. She knew and adored Uhura’s nosiness, but this was starting to sound like an interrogation.

“So, you’re saying the Klingons have no reason to believe you’re this super weapon?”

“The Klingons?” This was getting really peculiar now. “Why would the Klingons think that?”

“Well, it’s why they tried to kill you and the captain in the first place!”

Jenny was shocked.

“This was about me? What are you even saying, Nyota?”

“They thought you were here on a secret mission,” Uhura admitted, realising that no one had obviously bothered to fill Jenny in on the details, and beginning to wonder if she might be barking up the wrong tree. She was certainly sorry for having upset her friend.

Jenny had to laugh at the very idea of a secret mission.

“Nyota, I’m far from being a human super anything!” she assured Uhura. “Starfleet agreed to give me a chance to serve on a starship despite my handicaps. And Captain Kirk is the one to make the final decision after my trial period on the Enterprise is over. Maybe that’s not something I like to advertise, but it’s certainly not a secret mission!”

Before Uhura got the chance to say anything else, McCoy came barging into the room, shooing the communications officer away under some medical pretext. The two women had been talking loudly enough for him to hear in the next room, and he couldn’t listen to Hope being badgered another minute. Her referring to her medical issues as handicaps had especially upset him. After all she’d achieved on her first mission with a landing party, they hardly seemed to matter at all. She should be so proud of herself!

He hadn’t forgotten about Hope’s other issues, of course, and he still wanted to find out everything about her. But not Uhura’s way. Not by interrogating her like this. That would only serve to make her clam up again.

Besides, Hope needed to come to terms with the beetroot incident first. Helping her with that had to take precedence over everything else. He certainly didn’t want to lose her trust by excessive prying.

********************

Jenny was getting fed up with having to ask for help for every little thing. So, when Chekov came to see her the next time, and knowing that he wouldn’t refuse her any request, she talked him into helping her get up to try how far she could walk on her own.

Not very far, as it turned out when she went crashing to the floor after only her second step, with Chekov barely able to catch her in time, and McCoy coming running at the noise.

The doctor stood there, hands on hips, his face thunderous, as he watched Chekov clumsily lifting Hope back into bed.

“What do you think you’re doing, young lady?” he roared, picking up a tricorder and hurrying to her side to scan her ankle.

Jenny had rarely seen the doctor so furious, feeling really bad about having caused this. She looked sheepishly at Pavel, who’d turned a deep shade of red at McCoy’s outburst, quite obviously intimidated.

When the doctor had finished his scan with an angry grunt, he turned on Chekov, eyes blazing.

“And you, young man,” he told the navigator in his best no-nonsense voice, “don’t give her any more stupid ideas! She doesn’t even wiggle a toe without my say-so!”

Jenny’s heart went out to Chekov, when she saw him visibly shrink in the face of the doctor’s wrath. She’d have to make this up to him somehow.

“I’m so sorry, Doctor!” she tried to sooth McCoy’s anger. “It was my idea, not Chekov’s. And I promise to be a model patient from now on!”

How could he stay angry with her, when she looked at him with those puppy eyes?

Heaving a sigh, he made for the door, and with another grunt and a glare over his shoulder, told them, “Chekov, out! And Hope, you’ll need to rest for a while now, but I might just give you the sedative after I’ve fixed the damage you’ve just inflicted on your ankle. Some people need to be taught a lesson.”

Returning a minute later, hypo in hand, he let Hope worry for another moment, before smiling mildly at her.

“You didn’t really think I’d be so cruel?” McCoy asked, eyes twinkling with mischief.

Hope just shrugged, looking a little doubtful.

“Lesson learned?” he asked, grinning at his clearly remorseful patient.

“Yes, Doctor,” Hope nodded eagerly, then added with the most heart-warming smile, “and I’m really sorry. This was terribly stupid of me.”

And just like that, McCoy’s anger was gone.

********************

Even with the sedative he’d given her, Hope was in enough pain when McCoy was done with her ankle for him to give her another, stronger dose for the night. It would make her drowsy and a little woozy, but also help her find much needed restful sleep.

When she’d stopped fidgeting and started drifting off, he perched on the edge of her bed and couldn’t resist caressing her cheek soothingly, smiling as he felt her snuggle into his hand, as he’d thought she would. In her dazed state, she didn’t even try to hide how comfortable it made her feel.

She was such an incredibly strong woman, he thought, and yet, looking at her lying here, she was just a little girl in need of security and protection.

When he thought she’d finally dozed off, she opened her eyes again and sleepily murmured, “Thank you, Doctor, for always taking care of me. I haven’t had that before.”

“Oh, I find that hard to believe,” he replied softly, continuing to gently run his thumb over her cheek, and thinking that most everybody would gladly take care of a lovely and brilliant girl like her.

“How can I ever repay your kindness?” she asked quietly, lifting blurry eyes to his, her words slow and a little slurred under the effect of the sedative.

McCoy’s chest tightened a little at that.

“Why would you even think you’d have to repay anything?” he asked, hoping that it had just been her clouded mind speaking and instinctively cradling her head protectively in his hand. “We care about each other here on the Enterprise. You of all people should know that. And you surely have shown enough kindness of your own since you came aboard.”

“I haven’t had that before,” she repeated drowsily before finally succumbing to sleep.

McCoy regarded her sleeping face thoughtfully, his hand continuing to caress her of its own accord, his heart breaking at the thought that she might really be so unaccustomed to being cared for.

How could a warm and beautiful woman, who everybody adored, have felt so alone?

********************

Continue to: Chapters 31 - 40 Chapters 41 - 50 Chapter 51 - 61

Go back to: Chapters 1 - 10 Chapters 11 - 20

Or read it on AO3: On Borrowed Time

************ Disclaimer: Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.

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