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8bitscarlet · 1 year ago

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Winter Solstice

Summary: When the sun was taken without notice, your world was plunged into a darkness you almost didn't recognize. But as you sunk deeper into the shadows, you remembered why you'd given it up.

Pairing: Wanda x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Angst (mention of blood, canon fighting, use of knife, mention of torture)

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: AOU Wanda here because there's no Wanda in this story, since you know ehehe. Here’s chapter 18 of AOP. 😂 Happy Reading everyone! 💕

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

_________________________

“I’m having your vest checked before you leave!”

You watch as Stark grabs the tablet from his suit jacket hanging on the coat rack near the door. He came around as soon as the alarms started to blare. What he came home to nearly doubled him over. It took him some time to get back to his joking ways, along with everyone else. Trying to deal with what happened only hours ago.

Everyone except you.

“Whatever,” Yelena rolls her eyes but points towards a gadget on one of the tables she walks past, “Your stuff isn’t even cool, Playboy.”

Her green eyes watching Nat nod that she’ll steal the parts for her. Yel looks over at you, sliding a granola bar across the table. You glance down at the wrapper, a chocolate chip granola bar. She looks at you with a hopeful grin but you don’t eat it. You just spin it around as you wait for her to tell you who you’re not allowed to kill.

“Four mercenaries checked in at that checkpoint,” your eyes wash over the map with numbered outposts scattered around the landscape, “They’re heading to a resting place, assigned to the General’s protection unit. This restaurant,”

Yelena slides all the information she got from her contact casing the business, “It’s a front. A place to grab gear and weapons before they switch positions.”

“They’ll know where that asshole is,” you grumble, smashing the granola bar into the table with every slow stab of your thumb.

“I’m just waiting on Rick to give us information on where they're stopping next. We'll swing in after them and steal some uniforms and codewords,” Yelena gives Natasha a look, ensuring that you see it but you don’t give it a second thought. They can see exactly what you want to do to every one of these soldier's wearing this patch.

They could think whatever they wanted about you now. They knew your true colors. If they’re surprised, it should be over that you’ve hidden them for so long.

Natasha sees how you grind your teeth and turns to Yelena, “What that cost you? Five cases of Stoli?”

“Only four. I’m his favorite Russian spy.”

You ignore their arguing as you flip through the file further. It’s a simple plan. Corner some soldiers and work your way up the pay grades. Eventually someone would know where the General was and he worked closely with Strucker.

“We’ll call you guys when we’ve got a location,” you stand up abruptly and look towards Steve, “Just make sure you have Clint by then,”

The door behind you opens and Stark rushes inside, not bothering to hold it open behind him as you see how wide his eyes are.

“I tried to stall,” he turns on his heels and all of you watch as a greying and mustached man in a crisp suit steps through the door that closed on his face.

Ross clears his throat as he pulls against his sleeves and carefully looks over everyone. Half of the people in the room are weary and exhausted from the mission. The other half stare cautiously, collecting papers behind their backs. Only one stares with a fury that the man has never seen before and because of this, speaks to you .

“You’re not operating.”

Your jaw clenches so tightly, you’re surprised it doesn’t completely shatter. Each paused stare along the politician’s body are places you know would completely ruin the rest of his life. Steve sees the way you roll your wrists, your breath elevating. Your fingers crack beneath his iron vice grip and you grimace as Stark attempts to negotiate with Ross. The words buzz around your head.

Treaties. Agreements. Violations. War.

You chuckle, drawing some attention your way but Stark quickly draws it back to him. You’ve been at war longer than Ross could know. At war with Strucker. With your own mind. But he couldn’t care less about those wars. They weren’t important. Finding and killing Strucker wasn’t important compared to the obscure agreements he had pulled up by an assistant.

They wouldn’t be important to him until it was too late for everyone else.

You didn’t utter a word as you moved past him, your shoulder cracking against his. He slammed into the door with a grunt. One of his guards stepped in front of you and he flew across the room into the railing of the staircase, not realizing how quickly you could move. The second guard half steps away from you as the pistol that was printing against his jacket comes out.

Holding out your hands, you wave your fingers towards yourself, “Go ahead, buddy. Make my day.”

The trigger depresses just slightly and you grin, you just need a reason. There’s movement from your side and Nat stands in front of you, looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. And you can’t deny to her that you haven’t.

“Stop being stupid,” she whispers harshly, grabbing your wrist and whirling you around.

Your face slams into the floor but you don’t struggle. You just watch your breath fog up the tile as your body contorts to Nat’s will. Her apologies to Ross don’t make it past the ringing in your ears. There’s a pressure in your shoulder and your knees come up beneath you, your feet following behind them.

Stumbling towards the back room, you remember this route. It was the walk you made every day back to the holding cells. The cells you tried so hard to convince yourself that the enemy surrounded you. That any day your meal brought by a redheaded witch would be sedated and you’d be taken within inches of your life.

“Don’t be mad,” Nat tells you as you stare down at the same bed you sat and watched Wanda chew on her pens, “This is just for show. Ross is out of his mind, we’re going. I’ll exhaust my Rolodex. I’ve got favors to use up.”

There isn’t much warning and even less for Natasha when the dull numbness subsides. You sink down onto the floor, your back pressing against the frame of the bed and exhale sharply. Pressing your stinging eyes against your knees, you let out an uncharacteristic noise. A wailing sob that burns your throat. Your body shivering with shaking breaths that used to only wake you from nightmares.

And then you realized. Your nightmares had become your life.

_______________________

Your fingers play with the corners of the menu in front of you, eyes scanning words that you don’t comprehend. The only thing on your mind is the number of people inside, the paths around the tables and exits around you. Leaning against the wall behind you, you watch the waitstaff exit the kitchen from your right.

“You know I hate eating out with you. Do you know why?” You pull your eyes away from a man sitting alone at the bartop and glare at the blonde in front of you, “Because you always want to sit next to the kitchen and anytime a plate comes out, I think it’s mine.”

Your grimace grows into a scowl, “You don’t know what you ordered?”

“Of course I know what I ordered,” she almost looks offended, as she crosses a leg over her thigh, “I just think it smells good and I’m starving and you’re making me sit here when you made me rush out of the hotel breakfast.”

You stare in silence before glancing back down at the menu, taking a sip of the odd tasting tap water in your glass. A slow breath gets pulled in across the table and you brace yourself for more complaints.

“Do you ever realize how grumpy you get?”

She’s met with more silence.

“Okay, I’m sorry. You’re not grumpy, you’re pissed off,”

You cock an eyebrow and watch her grumble down into her menu, “Times a million.”

The waiter makes their rounds again, oddly bypassing your table once again. Your brows clench slightly when he stops at the bartop and talks to the lonesome man.

“I’m sorry,”

The words catch you off guard and you look back across the table, “What?”

Yelena fiddles around with the bag on her lap, drawing your attention but holding the conversation with ease, “That you actually listened to my advice. About being vulnerable.”

You sigh and adjust the piece of metal digging into your stomach, “She’s part of the team, Yel. I’d be worried either way.”

She hums and you sigh before looking her way again, “When are you going to stop lying to yourself? You wouldn’t be a part of this team right now if it wasn’t -,”

“We’ve been made,” you stop her from psychoanalyzing you any further and carefully watch more suited men enter the building.

The waiter isn’t as subtle as they keep glancing your way, practically pointing at you. You push your shoulders back, it was inevitable. You weren’t regulars here. The two of you were bound to be noticed. And at least you could say now that you didn’t start the fight.

Yelena stands up, stopping the waiter who just decided to walk out of the kitchen. You hiss at her to stop as she pokes and prods at the food. The three suited men are walking towards you, two already have their hands tucked inside their suits while the other has their knuckles lined with metal.

“Yel!” you whisper at her.

“Don’t bother taking this back to the kitchen, it’s trash!” she yells and whips the tray from his hands and slams it into the group behind her.

You yell, punting the table away from you, knocking a few of the suited men on the floor. A few start stumbling to their feet amongst the shattered plates and sauces. Yel wraps her legs around the unsteady man who was knocked in the head with a ramekin. As she flips him to the ground, your breath is rushed from your lungs as you’re bulldozed back into the kitchen.

Slamming your elbow into the top of his shoulder, you try to loosen the tight hug the man has on you. It loosens. After you back clangs against one of the many stoves in the kitchen. You grunt, shoving yourself down to the floor and frantically slapping your arm.

Your shirt smokes after pressing directly against one of the burners. Your back throbs as you hold up a hand,

“One second,”

The man waves his hand at you, “Thought you were supposed to be a problem. Don’t know why people are so scared,” His knee slams into your face and you’re knocked back onto the ground as the stove door slams between your shoulders, “Get up!”

“Careful,” you cough, trying to move the arm you swear you heard a crack from, “You’ll ruin your dinner,”

Reaching back, you pull yourself up with the help of the stove. Your eyes catch the sight of scallops cooking in oil. With a grunt, you swing your arm and throw the hot oil behind you, feeling it slightly burn your neck with some flyaway droplets.

The man screams, holding his hands against his face as you smack the pan against the top of his head. His screams end as he collapses to the floor. The pan clangs next to him,

“You got something in your eyes,” you say before you grimace from the unyielding pain in your shoulder.

The kitchen door swings open and you see another man walk in. He doesn’t wear a suit like the other men. It’s a dark uniform and you can see the patch on his shoulder. His belt is lined with different knives and you let out a sigh, you really didn’t want to have to shoot anyone today.

He pulls one of the long blades from its sheath and tosses it with a quiet grin from hand to hand. The blade reflects the light in every direction as it spins and flips through the air. You sigh, going to lift up your shirt but stop as the emergency door is cracked open. The talent show in front of you pauses for a moment as Yel waltzes inside, rubbing her reddened knuckles.

“Room for dessert?” she asks, and eyes the man take out another knife with a grin.

“You’re the one who was starving,” you remind her, trying to get feeling down into your numbed fingers.

She sighs, walking forward without hesitation towards the clanking blades. She grabs a simple chef’s knife from a counter she passes, not slowing her pace. The man swings his arm around, going in for a backhanded stab and is only met with air as Yelena sidesteps without a thought. Her foot slides around gracefully as she ends up behind him.

She leans forward as the blade slices underneath his arm, pulling a yelp from his throat and the knife in that hand clattering to the floor. She ducks between his frantic swings, making it look like a dance as you look around for where they keep the ice. Spinning on her knee, Yelena presses the blade to his upper thigh and pulls her arms up without much resistance.

Standing up, she steps around the shocked man and places the knife back where she found it, now dirtied with blood. The man collapses to the floor with grunts, trying to press his hands against the cuts that are profusely bleeding.

“Hit the arteries. He’s got twenty seconds.” she says as she pulls out a bag of frozen peas, “They said always fresh, never frozen. This place sucks,”

Pressing the cold vegetables to your shoulder, you follow her out into the dining area. You see that she fought more than the two suited men that came for you both. The Hydra soldiers you two were waiting for finally arrived and their uniforms were now ripe for the taking. Tearing some of the unneeded clothes, you make a makeshift wrap to keep the frozen peas in place.

As you folded up the uniform you’d be taking, you handed over one of the shirts that would fit Yelena better. She goes to take it but you hold onto it for one second longer,

“Thank you,” you say, watching as her eyes look at you with her mouth slightly agape, “I listened to you and stopped lying to myself. Now I’ve got three people to worry about.”

“We’re going to get her back. Alive and safe. And we’ll make sure Strucker draws his last breath, too.” she tells you, wiping off a mustard stain before looking up at you, “Wait, you worry about me? You know sweets ruin your dinner.”

You grin, “Speaking of, I saw some macaroni in the kitchen,”

“You ever dine and dash? That dude is definitely dead in there, we won’t get caught.” Yelena excitedly jogs back into the kitchen to get some road trip snacks and leave you alone to the thoughts that fill your head as the sham of a smile falls from your face.

You hope both of her promises come true but you know you’ll be lucky to have only one come true. And this unending cycle will continue. Tapping the boots against your thigh as you walk, you wonder how much collateral you have to your name.

________________________

Your fist slams forward, over and over again. Making contact with a fury that leaves his nose cracked and blood to pour from split brows. With a grunt and one more crack, you whip your arm down and extend your fingers. They practically groan from being clenched for so long. You stare at the reddening of your skin, wiping away the blood that isn’t yours. You glance over to the soldier’s friend, waiting patiently in their chair as they stare at the wall. There’s soft mutterings coming from them and you wonder if they’re practicing their lies.

With a sigh, you turn back to the soldier in front of you, his face bleeding and his left eye already swollen shut. You glance down at his dirtied name tag, Fisher.

“Tell me where they are, Fisher. Come on, you were there being a good little soldier. Where is Strucker?” you squat down in front of him, resting your arms on your thighs and attempt to hold onto your patience a little longer this time.

He huffs and puffs but doesn’t give an answer, you grin at how loyal he is to this madman. You sigh, picking up the pipe you had previously ripped from the wall and used to make his arm slightly crooked.

“Listen, I don’t have all this precious time and you’re not the only one I need to talk to so,” you swing the pipe with a strong twist of your hips right into his shin, watching as he conceals his screaming into his shoulder.

“Okay! They, goddamit! I only know where the General is.”

“Keep it coming,” you say, pacing in front of him and manipulating the cold metal between your hands.

You listen to his directions, the description of the hideaway the General uses for all of his vices. You grunt, knowing you’re sure to find the worst bachelor pad of your life. Fisher continues to babble on, telling you where you can find mounds of cash in the walls and all kinds of classified documents. You’re bareilly paying attention until he brings up a certain scientist.

“Strucker… he’s trying to do something. Brainwashing or some crazy magic from this staff. I don’t know, please let me go.”

His voice cracks as he leans as far forward as his tied up body lets him. You stop your pacing and look at his miserable face, his lip now starting to swell. The blood mixes with his sweat and you feel a whole new level of hatred. You know what he’s talking about but you wish you didn’t.

“What?” you ask, making sure you heard him right.

He swallows roughly and you watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down, “You can’t save her.”

You clench your jaw, the metal creaking in your hands as he stares in fear, “What is he doing to her,”

Fisher grimaces and stares past you. He shakes his head, he’s done talking to you. He’s looked into your eyes and knows he’s not getting out of here alive no matter how much he tells you. You wish you could lie to him, stroke his ego that he’ll heal from his wounds and live a normal life. All you do though is shake your head at his decision. He’ll recover from his wounds but his face’s natural color is going to be blue from this day forward. Pulling back, your joints practically creak as you clench your fingers into a fist.

“I’m a nice person,” you whisper and watch him shiver away from your breath, “I’m going to let you think about what you’ve done. And when I come back, we better be on the same page.”

Turning, you replace the pipe with a glass of water and take a sip from it. You realize how thirsty you’ve become and you wonder how much longer you’ll be upright. You’re exhausted and starving but every hour you waste, is another hour Wanda is subjected to hell. You remember clearly what happened when you both were captured. You know it’s only worse with that scientific madman.

Wiping your bloody knuckles against your pants, you walk to the other soldier. They’ve been having a nice time relaxing and dreaming but they forgot to set their alarm. You toss the glass of water at them, shocking them awake. You watch them cough out the water they inhaled with their gasp and casually grab a chair. Pulling it in front of them, they shake at their binds, probably having gotten lost in their happy dreams. Sitting down casually, you’re hoping that this will be a nicer chat.

Price has nothing more to say to you than their pal Fisher over there. They spit at you, your jaw clenching when you feel the wetness smack you on the face. She chuckles as you slowly wipe it from your face, flicking it down to your boot. You don’t let the rage show on your face as you look up at her calmly.

“You feel like talking while your friend takes a rest?” you ask her quietly, crossing your foot on top of your knee.

She stays silent, glaring at you.

“Tell me where the woman is,” you give her one more chance to offer you something useful.

“What woman, asshole? There’s only some freak of nature,” she sneers at you, thinking she can play games.

You look Price dead in the eyes. Your graciousness continues, you won’t kill her just yet, “One last time. Where?”

“Fuck you,” she spats out once again and you groan.

You nod with a smile and don’t blink as you slide the knife from your belt and slam it into her shoulder in one fluid motion. As soon as the blade cuts, her scream fills the cabin and the front door opens. You grab the handle tightly and quickly shake her,

“You tell me where she is or so help me, you’ll never use this arm again!”

“I don’t know!” she screams, gritting her teeth against the pain, “I don’t know!”

Before you can twist the blade, your arm is twisted behind you as you’re shoved towards the front door. You don’t fight against them but you stop your feet to grab the jacket you left on the coat rack.

“She knows. She knows where Strucker is,” you tell Nat, sliding your arms into your coat. Looking up, you see the worry in her green eyes and for a second you freeze.

“Reign it in,” she tells you harshly, “You know how this works. You’re just finding an excuse now.”

You slowly button your jacket, “We need to find her.”

“And you’re not finding her if you’re becoming that,” she slaps the patch on your shoulder roughly, “Again. Go get some air, now.”

Stepping through the door, you slide your hands into the uniform jacket and glance down at yourself. The uniform is filthy, covered in dirt and food from the scuffle you had when you ambushed the place. Dried blood and sweat from the conversation you were having with the two survivors. You climb into the car with a sigh, what the hell was Natasha talking about. She knew as well as you that some things required certain tactics. Maybe you were right all along. She had gotten soft.

Yelena peers back at you from the front seat. She shakes a box of granola bars in front of you but you wave her away, listening to her mumbling about how you’re going to pass out. You run your fingers along your knuckles, feeling a stinging pain you hadn’t felt in a long time. A time you always told yourself you wanted to forget. But here you were, purposely living in the past.

Glancing up, you see green eyes carefully watching you through the rearview. You raise your brows.

“You okay?”

You stare at the front door you were pushed out of, “I’m fine.”

“Y/N,” Yelena sighs.

“What do you want me to say?” you snap, watching the green eyes stare one moment longer and then look away.

There’s a prolonged silence until a noise has you jumping out of your skin, “That you’re scared.”

Nat’s voice carried in from the open window and you watch her climb into the passenger seat, gently closing the car door. You look her over, she doesn’t have a single drop of blood on her and her face isn’t flushed from exertion. She nods quietly to her sister, the car starting to reverse and leaving dust behind all of you.

You stare out the window, not giving her the answer she already knows.

“We’ll find her. The General will know where she is and if he doesn’t, the files on his desk will.”

“Are we going to find her alive?” the real question you’ve been thinking of explodes from your mouth and it’s met with the exact answer you knew it. A heavy silence. “You promise me that and I’ll stand aside.”

“You know we’re doing everything to make that happen. So trust us, she's coming home.”

The car ride quiets until you hear the rumbling of your stomach. With a sigh, you lean forward and grab a few bars out of the box that Yelena had offered you.

“When we get to the General’s safe house,” Nat peers over her shoulder to look at you properly, “Come in after we clear it. Please.”

You look at her, her eyes flashing down to your split knuckles. How hard they shake as you try to open the simple packaging of the granola bar. You think back to what she said to you in the house and realize the night is lasting much longer than you intended. You let yourself hide back into the darkness and you see that there isn’t always a light to rely on. You’d have to be ready for the light.

If it came down to it and only one of you made it out, you wouldn't want Wanda to remember you with the things you did to find her. You didn't want her to remember the person that she met for the first time but the one she ended up loving.

Biting into the chocolate chip, you give a small nod, “Fine.”

______________Ch. 19

#wanda #wanda maximoff #wanda marvel #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #accidentally on purpose #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda fluff #wanda imagine #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda mcu

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butyou-callmewhenyourebored · 2 years ago

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This Must Be My Dream - Ross MacDonald Part 3

Summary: In which you're missing your boyfriend and it takes absolutely zero convincing from the girls to fly across the world to see your man.

Warnings: Swearing, vulgar language somewhere in the middle as there is the tiniest bit of smut.

Author's Note: This is the last instalment of this little universe of characters. A blurb might be heading your way if I get around to it! Hope you enjoy this final part!

Part One Part Two

3.3K Words

Since you joined them on their UK tour, specifically their Manchester gig where it was very obvious to anyone who laid eyes on the pair of you, that you were completely infatuated with one another. You were 100% head over heels for the 6’4” bassist and he you. Literally from that day on, you couldn’t keep your hands off him. You wanted him all the time not that he minded because he wanted you just as bad.

You’ve never had as much sex in your entire life. It was true when you said that when you finally explored every part of your relationship, that he’d ruin every other man for you. You didn’t want anybody else, you were insatiable when it came to him. I think it was fair to say that you loved the bones off of him.

But you also just loved coming home from work and cooking dinner with him, unwinding and talking about your day. Your life had completely changed and done a full 180 and you couldn’t have been happier for how quick your life turned around. Ross loved slowly invading your space; his favourite jumper over the back of the sofa, a pair of slippers finding their way next to the front door and a bag of his favourite coffee on your kitchen counter. You also loved just sitting with him whilst he practised bass and creating funky little riffs whilst you nursed a glass of wine and just listened to him play. You’d never seen anything hotter than watching him do what he loves; whether that be on stage or in his living room. You were completely obsessed with him.

You also became fast friends with Charli and Carly, the group chat you spoke about when you met them properly was very active as you gossiped about your relationships and the band in general or life problems you were all currently facing. There wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t talking to those girls. Girls you were very happy were now apart of your life, even though it was only a short time ago, you can’t remember what life was like without those two angels in your life.

Usually Charli was all up for a little juicy goss between you girlfriends but today it was less sex talk and more moaning about how much you missed Ross and how you felt at a loss without knowing he was going to be home for dinner because he was in New York for SNL with the boys.

Charli

Girl I love you but you need to get laid!!!

You

Ohhh I have absolutely no problem with getting laid babe! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Its the fact the man I’d lay down my life for is on the opposite side of the world.

Carly

Let her be! Haha They’re in the honeymoon stage!

You guys are so sweet, I happen to know he feels the same about you!

Don’t tell Adam I told you!!!

You

He told Adam that? 🥺

Charli

Girl how do you not know this? He’s so pussy whipped it’s ridiculous! 😂

Carly

He did! Ads is ridiculously happy that Ross has found his person!

You

I’m literally repeating ‘Don’t cry! Don’t cry!’ to myself over and over because I don’t want to cry whilst I’m with Denise and have her ask why I’m crying!

Carly

If you’re missing him that much, why don’t you go and surprise him?!

Charli

That’s an insane idea! I’ll come with you! I’ve got to head over there for an Oscars thing anyway, a couple more days in the US won’t hurt anyone!

Carly

I’ll text Ads, he’ll help with the surprise! X

Charli

I’d ask G but he’ll probably forget what’s happening!

You

You guys! I love you both so much! 💕

Bitch get your suitcase packed we’re going to NY!!!

As soon as you got off the phone to the girls, you booked your flights and then FaceTimed with Charli as you packed your cases together. Struggling with what to pack, what was weather even like in New York in March anyway? Her only input was to just not pack anything considering “You’re probably not going to be wearing a lot once he sees you anyway!” Which to be fair to her, it was a very valid point. Charli knew you both all too well.

After settling on a mixture of cute outfits; casual and a few fancier ones, she picked out her favourite lingerie sets that you owned and told you “If you didn’t get dicked down the moment he sees you. I’ll fuck you myself!” Which had you cackling loudly because you absolutely knew that wouldn’t be the case but you appreciated the confidence boost from her nonetheless anyway!

“Don’t let G hear you say that! He’ll start getting ideas!” You smirked; as Charli giggled before finally hanging up the phone so you could get the rest of your shit together.

When you got into bed that night, you wiggled about in excitement knowing that in less than 24 hours you’ll be able to see your man in flesh made it almost impossible to sleep. Feeling a little frisky you pulled off Ross’ shirt that you had stolen and opened up your camera app and hit record.

Sending it off to your man, as a little incentive as what he was missing and how much you were missing him. You shot him a quick warning text.

Just off to bed, missing you like crazy!

Do NOT under any circumstances open this in front of your band mates!!!

I’ll kill you and trust me I’ll know!

I love you xxx

His response made you squeal in excitement! You couldn’t wait to get your hands on him!

Fuck baby! You’re already killing me!

Sweet dreams! Only a couple more days until I’m home!

I love you too xxx

When you touched down in the New York, you forgot the intricacies of travelling with a well known international pop star and the fact paps were already waiting at the airport to pounce on whatever poor unsuspecting celebrity had touched down in the Big Apple. Taking your suitcases you wheeled them on out of the airport alone and into the awaiting car as you waited for Charli because if the paparazzi ruined your surprise you were going to riot because you really wanted to pull this off.

Switching your phone off do not disturb whilst you were in the car, it buzzed with a text from Adam.

Hope your flight was okay.

Had the hotel pop your name onto Ross’ room!

Also sent your man on a coffee run so I’ll meet you in the lobby! x

You couldn’t help but beam when you spotted your friend waiting for you in the lobby of the hotel. Rushing to pull him into a tight a hug, you were very grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann. “Thank you for doing this. It means so much to me.” You told him, once you got your keycard from the front desk, the three of you finally making your way to the floor the band were staying on.

“Yeah seriously! Thanks so much! She’s been so annoying at home!”

“You’re just as bad! Fuck off!” You shot Charli a glare although it didn’t last long because it sent you both into a fit of giggles.

“George is in his room.” Adam told her; as he stepped out of the elevator onto their floor, the brunette waved over her shoulder before skipping towards her room. “Ross should be back soon. It wasn’t hard to get him out the hotel! You know what he’s like with his caffeine addiction!” He smiled softly at you with a chuckle.

Hugging him once more, you pushed open the door to Ross’ room, abandoning your suitcase by the bed. His open next to the desk that was housing a kettle and an arrangement of crap you knew he had fished out of his pockets before leaving the hotel earlier. Immediately rushing to the bathroom to freshen up before your reunion with your favourite member of The 1975. When you finally settled on the bed, you already felt at home as his scent had already started lingering on the sheets, making your head spin and you started to feel giddy at the prospect of seeing his face in the next few minutes.

You weren’t on your own for very long; about ten minutes after you got into something a little more comfortable (wink wink) you heard Ross’ deep dulcet northern tone on the other side of the door. “Yeah see you in a bit mate. I’m going to go ring the missus!” You sat up, you leant up on your arms when you heard the click of the door, Matty’s voice briefly ringing through the open space.

“Yeah, spare me the details. Tell the bitch to text me back though!”

The flutter of your heart as you heard your boyfriend’s giggle and then him scold him for calling you bitch overrides your life long friend’s need to constantly call you names, as you rolled your eyes. Your heart beat beginning to race as you heard the door finally shut and Ross’ footsteps get louder as he finally got closer to you. You bit your lip nervously, waiting for him to spot you laid out on the bed.

You probably would have laughed at the confused expression etched across his handsome features as he heard your phone ring within the room and him running into find out the source of the noise, if your heart wasn’t thumping against your chest the moment you clapped eyes on him.

Ross blinked repeatedly as he took in your appearance. The fact you were here in New York in his hotel room and not at home in Manchester. The skin of your lip caught between your teeth as you attempted to keep your naughty thoughts at bay but he just looked too good. Already putting his coffee down, Ross was striding across the hotel room and launching himself across the bed before you could even utter the words “Hi baby!” His large hands holding onto your jaw tightly and kissing the air straight out of your lungs.

“Fuck. Missed you so much.” He managed to mumble in between kissing you senseless.

“Missed you more.” You moaned; arching into his touch, grabbing at his belt to get him as close as humanly possible.

There was definitely no need to take Charli up on her offer because the little clothing you had on was quickly being ripped off as you reconnected after nearly a week apart. The pornographic moan you let out into the pillows as his large hands squeezed at your arse cheeks, pulling at the flesh as he tried to get deeper was enough to make Ross’ grip on you even tighter and really drive home. Squeezing around him, your whole body lit up in tingles as he made you cum again.

Orgasms were always great but you’d never get over the way Ross made you cum like it was the last thing he’d do every single time. You shuddered at the emptiness as he pulled out, anybody else would be knackered after cumming three times but not you. He made you feel insatiable. You always wanted more. Pushing him on to his back; you climbed back on top, straddling his waist and wasting no time before sliding him back inside you where he belonged.

He always felt bigger, more snug if that was even possible when you were on top but the delirious feeling of dragging your pussy up and down his incredible cock, as you made him like this made your head spin as you rode him faster. Running your hands up his chest and through his chest hair that you loved so much, your hands found home either side of his head so you could lean down to kiss him.

“Love you so much baby.” You murmured into his mouth. “Could do this forever.”

“Always good to me aren’t you love?” Your boyfriend groaned into your mouth at a particular slow drag.

Pulling you to his chest, arms securely wrapped around your waist to hug you in place, Ross planted his feet into the mattress before pistoning into you so fast all you could do was babble absolutely nonsense into the crook of his neck.

“Come on baby, know you can do it.” He whispered into your ear softly.

“I want it. Want you. Need it baby. Give it to me. I’ve been good.” You managed to get out in between moans and chants of his name, like it was only word you knew.

“You’ve already had me though. Had your mouth round my cock within thirty seconds of seeing me. Always make me cum like that don’t you angel and now you want more?” Ross taunted you, the little shit.

“Always want you. Love you so much.” You pressed your mouth to his in a deep kiss.

“You’ll always have me, I love you so fucking much.”

You didn’t think it was possible for him to go any faster but his words of affirmation and way his big cock was fucking into you, had you cumming hard with a loud moan and triggering Ross’ own orgasm, filling you up so much it made you feel delirious. Rolling off him, you snuggled quickly into his side, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, as you listened to his heartbeat beat erratically against your cheek.

It was moments like this that you loved almost as much as the sex, the man was incredible but you also just loved to love upon each other and talk absolute rubbish with one another. You couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky. Ross thinking the same thing as he tucked a fly away piece of hair behind your ear, made you freeze as you just took in the sight of him, a sweet kiss to your forehead followed before he continued telling his story about the restaurant the boys went to the night before, that he’d love to take you to before you both had to leave each other again.

The two of you were in the midst of telling him about the flight over with Charli when Ross’ phone rang from somewhere in the room. Leaning over to rummage through his trouser pocket, you noticed Matty’s name flashing across the screen as he tried to FaceTime him. Ross accepting the call, settled back against the headboard knowing there was always the prospect Matty’s conversation could be long. No hellos were said however when Matty’s face appeared and your heart swelled when you heard the reasonings behind the unsuspected call.

“I’m not saying the walls are thin. But the walls are fucking thin! And if my best pal hasn’t magically teleported to New York and you’ve fucking hurt her. I’ll fucking hurt you MacDonald! Do you hear me? I don’t care, I’ll find a new bassist! Now who the fuck is in your room?” Matty’s voice getting louder and more erratic as he ranted.

“Matty. Calm down, it’s me.”

You spoke softly as you took the phone off your boyfriend. The pang in your chest when you saw the glossiness in his eyes at the thought of you being fucked over by his mate had your own welling up as you offered him a soft smile.

“Hi bitch!” Matty whispered; a sigh of relief living his mouth.

“Hey dickhead!” You whispered back a chuckle.

“You’re in New York? What the fuck!”

“I am!” You laughed. “Charli and I both kind of missed Ross and G so we thought we’d surprise them. Got in earlier today.” You explained to your best mate. “You surprised?!”

“Yeah! Fucking relieved too because I genuinely thought I’d have to kill him! I know you guys are cute but fuck me you two are gross. Like actual rabbits. I’m so happy you’re here, Ross can stop moping about now!” You laughed loudly as your boyfriend reprimanded his mate for calling him out, grumbling out that he didn’t mope which only made you laugh louder. Pressing another kiss to his shoulder, you settled your head against it as you continued conversing with your mutual best mate.

Mumbling something about a piss; your boyfriend jumped out of bed quickly, leaving you with Matty. As soon as the click of the bathroom door echoed back into the room your facial expression turned serious very quickly, scaring Matty and causing him to frown in confusion as to why you looked terrified all of a sudden.

“Be honest with me now.” You started off in a whisper. “Because I don’t think my soul would be able to take it if what I’m about to ask is true or if I ever find out you’re lying.” Matty truly in his confused era at the sudden change of conversation, his heart broke when he saw your lip quiver. “Why did you say that before? Has he ever given you the impression that he’s cheating on me?”

You choked on your own words as you managed to get out, the mere thought of not being enough for Ross was enough to have you about to sob on the phone to Matty.

“Ohhh fuck no! I didn’t know you were here. I heard the noise. I panicked. He’d never. I promise you. That man is annoyingly in love with you!” Matty grinned at you as he word vomited out his reassurance. “I’ve tried to tell him that you’re not that great but he won’t have any of it.” Your curly haired mate shrugged nonchalantly, successfully pulling a laugh out of you. “I promise he would never do that to you. He’d marry you in a heartbeat if he could.”

At the prospect of Ross talking to Matty about wanting to marry you was enough to make the sob that was bubbling in your chest before resurface but this time out of happiness. Confirming that you weren’t sad, but it were in fact happy tears because you just loved the handsome brunette so much. He was in the middle of chastising you about the noise level when Ross rejoined you both, slipping in beside you and automatically wrapping his arms around you. “Yeah, can we keep the moaning to a minimum whilst we’re here please because some of us do value our sleep.”

“I can’t promise anything!” You smirked; cackling as he screwed up his face in distaste at your boyfriend’s answer..

It took a lot for your to get embarrassed especially around your dickhead of a best friend but suddenly knowing that he’d heard the two of you, heard Ross making you cum multiple times had the heat rushing to your cheeks before muttering something along the lines of “We’ll try our best” before hanging up the phone, it your turn to groan into your boyfriend’s skin.

The two of you spent the next couple of hours in bed; no clothes, tv on, room service ordered and just content on being in each other’s presence. Lazily running your hands up and down his chest, you pressed equally lazy kisses to his skin, peppering them up his neck and jaw until you captured his lips against your own. Fluttering your eyes open, you took in his handsome features, reaching up to hold his face in your hands.

“I could do this forever.” You sighed contently against him.

“You want that?”

“Hmmmm” You hummed in agreement, your eyes fluttering closed as you pressed up against him in order to get closer than you already were.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes shot open at the question. Searching his face for some sort of joking air about the loaded question. You managed to spit out a soft “What?” Shock completely taking over you as you stared at your boyfriend.

“I’m serious. You want to be mine. I want to be yours. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” He asked again.

You blinked up at him. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

The cock of Ross’ eyebrow; almost challenging your answer, unsure if he heard you right. Nodding frantically, you squealed in delight when he pulled you on top of him in celebration and kissing you so deeply it made you dizzy. You couldn’t help but cry tears of pure happiness as you let him kiss you all over. You were going to marry the love of your life. This crazy handsome, talented, attentive and kind man was going to be your husband and you couldn’t wait!”

#ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald #ross macdonald x reader #the 1975 imagine #the 1975 fic #the 1975 x reader #ross macdonald fic #matty healy imagine #matty healy #george daniel #george daniel imagine #adam hann #adam hann imagine

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abiiors · 1 year ago

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thoughts while watching it

thank you for the ross ass shot 😂

dropping his phone on his face, he’s literally just a girl

george working so seriously omg i have thoughts 👀👀👀

THANK YOU FOR THE G HAND CLOSE UP

very wes anderson colours 🩷

ross do not sit in front of me like that i cannot be held accountable for my actions

oh he is so tall

HANN HAS THE SAME SWITCH AS ME AWWWW

that is the least sexy bathroom possible

STOP MUMBLING MATTHEW

masterclass sponsorship next???

it’s all so melancholic, they all look so alone :((

oh matty in my fav flannel

GUYS DOESNT NEED TO BE HERE AT ALL???? YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER I HOPE YOU GET BEAT UP IN JIU JITSU

how are they not giggling??? okay nevermind they giggled

matty healy let me crack your head open just to see what’s inside your mind

thank you for the meme 🤡

#the 1975 #atpoaim

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the-ravening · 10 months ago

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*blinks* ...Michelle's Bday fic? ("It's a common name," she murmurs to herself, "so go ahead and put those hopes down.") (I have a doc on my desktop named 'For Shan' and no mistake about it it's something you will get someday. 😂 )

Thank you to everyone who tagged me in the latest round of the WIP game going around. I will not be participating this time because I never even finished answering my asks from the last time and it’s been dragging on my conscience ever since.

Speaking of which… Michelle! I’m sooooo sorry it took me this long to answer your ask from last year. Of course “Michelle’s Bday fic” was for you!!! You and me 🤝 starting bday fics for each other and not finishing them.

It was supposed to just be a small little hurt/comfort wound cleaning in the shower thing, but I didn’t get it done in time and I felt so self-conscious writing for you because your words are always so beautiful.

Anyway, I have almost 3k written but doubt I’ll be finishing it any time soon, so please accept this meagre offering of a long snippet (aka the first 1.6k of the fic).

Hope you’ve been doing well! Sending you love and kisses forever 💗💗💗

Three sets of heavy footsteps trudged through the front door of the safehouse, slow and lumbering in their exhaustion. The air around them was thick with the iron tang of blood and a persistent tingle of burnt gunpowder rattling around in their sinuses, as they slipped into the kind of quiet torpor that always followed a difficult mission seen to its end. Though it had gotten a bit dicey at times on this one, they’d earned the satisfaction of having completed their objective and made it back alive in one piece. Well, mostly in one piece, Bucky thought, running his eyes critically over Zemo’s broad back as the man stepped into the apartment’s living area ahead of him. There was a conspicuous tear in his beloved long wool coat, the fabric slashed and stained dark with blood below his left shoulder blade.

“All right,” Sam said, voice deep with weariness. “Let’s take a look at your back, Zemo.”

“Merely a shallow flesh wound. I’ll be fine,” Zemo demurred.

“Knowing you, that means they probably hit a major organ and you’re about to pass out on your own carpet,” Sam grumbled.

“Really, is there so little trust between colleagues these days?”

Sam and Bucky took simultaneous deep breaths and sighed heavily at the irony of this statement rolling off the tongue of this particular colleague of theirs.

Before Sam could come up with any further argument though, they were interrupted by a tinny sound blaring from somewhere in the depths of his leather jacket. It quickly developed into the sunny tones of a song Bucky only knew because Sam had once told him it was called “‘Fuck You’ by CeeLo Green… C’mon, man, you don’t know that one?” and only recognized from how often this personalized ringtone went off on Sam’s phone.

“Man, already? Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do than stick his nose up our asses after every mission?” Sam groaned as he fished his phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen with his thumb to answer it. “Secretary Ross. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

He turned to Bucky and rolled his eyes as he held the phone to his ear, no doubt listening to Ross droning on on the other end of the line. Putting his hand over the mic, he stage whispered to Bucky, “Take care of Zemo for a few minutes, would you? I have to deal with this,” and then he wandered off into the office and closed the door behind him.

Left alone with Zemo, Bucky glared at him, wanting nothing less than to have to babysit him in Sam’s absence. On the other hand though, he really didn’t want Zemo to die of organ failure today either.

“If it were serious, I wouldn’t be standing right now.” Zemo lifted his hands in that placating gesture he liked to do so much, the one that Bucky found particularly annoying when directed at him. But he couldn’t help noticing Zemo holding back a small wince of pain as his arms came up.

Bucky sighed. “There’s a whole lot of possibilities between ‘okay’ and ‘dead’, Zemo. At least let me take a look and help you clean it out. There’s no way you’ll be able to reach back there.”

“More than anything, what I need right now is a shower,” Zemo huffed and turned towards the bathroom, effectively ending the discussion.

Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face and wondered if this would be the day Zemo finally died for real on his watch. After everything they’d been through today, he didn’t have the mental energy to argue with the man, but what was slightly worrying was that it seemed Zemo didn’t even have it in him to bite back in that flirty, teasing, infuriating way he normally did. Bucky hoped that wasn’t a sign that he was secretly bleeding out internally. They were both covered in sweat and blood and grime and gunpowder, so maybe he could let this go for now and they could pick it back up once Zemo finished his little beauty spa routine in there.

“Well?” Zemo drawled, and Bucky glanced up in time to see the man looking over his shoulder at him as he stepped through the doorway. Zemo raised an eyebrow. “Are you coming?”

Bucky stood in stunned silence, watching Zemo disappear into the bathroom, leaving the door wide open behind him. The innuendo was clear, but Zemo was all innuendo all the time, and maybe Bucky was the one misconstruing it by considering for even a moment that there was any serious intent here.

He really did want to check out Zemo’s injury—though maybe want was a bit too strong a word there. What he wanted was to pour himself a whiskey neat and sit down on the couch and forget for five minutes that Zemo was his responsibility. But what he’d gotten instead was an opportunity to make sure their notoriously secretive parolee didn’t end up with sepsis down the line from an infected knife wound, or worse. Bucky sighed again and reluctantly made to follow behind Zemo, as if drawn forward on a persistent leash that he could never quite shake off.

The bathroom was overly large and opulent, as tended to be the case in Zemo’s scattered family properties-turned-safehouses, which they now took advantage of whenever their missions allowed—though a more pretentious person might call its design spacious and modern. As he stepped into the room, Bucky was hit with the loud hiss of the shower, its rushing spray battering the black tiles as it heated up to temperature in its glass enclosure.

In the centre of the room, Zemo stood like a dark and ragged headland dropping off into the sea, as he slid his coat over slumped shoulders to land in a heavy tumble of eroded rock at his feet. Bucky was certain that no matter the air of indifference that Zemo put on, he was well and truly far along the road of fatigue, because under normal circumstances the man he knew would never treat his favourite things with such lack of care.

Zemo drew a sharp breath between his teeth as he brought his shoulder blades together in a weak attempt to shrug his double shoulder holster off. Even the most incremental of movements seemed to exacerbate the pain of his injury.

“Here, let me just—” Bucky muttered as he strode up to Zemo and stopped him gently with a hand on his shoulder. He tugged carefully at the slide adjuster on the back of the harness, loosening it, and then reached around to slide his fingers underneath the leather straps, tucking them snugly against the meat of Zemo’s chest. Slowly and gingerly, he worked the straps over Zemo’s shoulders and slid them all the way down his arms, finally dropping the holster with its guns atop the heap of Zemo’s coat on the floor, gun safety be damned. It really was that sort of day.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, Zemo fumbled at the buttons of his ruined shirt with tired fingers. Bucky tried not to let the worst of his imagination run wild as his eyes tracked over the torn and blood-soaked fabric, hoping it looked much worse than it really was. Once Zemo got the shirt spread open, Bucky helped him slide it off too, revealing the expanse of his pale shoulders and a Pollock-esque smear of blood down his back, red speckled all around like so many more lurid stars dispersed amongst his freckles.

Bucky squinted scrutinizingly at the wound, its raw and red gape a wrathful mouth, lips split and spitting vitriol. Despite its gory appearance, it looked clean and fairly shallow—the blade had likely caught on a rib, sparing him from any deeper damage. It was still bleeding sluggishly, though not enough to be dangerous, already clotting. It’d certainly need a few stitches, but Sam could take care of that easily once they cleaned it up.

While Bucky was focused on assessing the cut, Zemo was dead set on shedding the rest of his soiled clothing, like a birch tree unraveling its bark layer by layer, to expose the smooth and fresh golden skin beneath. Muscular thighs flexed as he kicked off his boots, tac pants following in their wake, slipping his thumbs into the elastic waistband of his underwear and tugging them down over the firm globes of his ass. Bucky caught sight of a deep pair of indents on Zemo’s lower back—his dimples of Venus, his brain supplied unhelpfully—before averting his eyes. He told himself the flush of heat he felt on his face was a result of the rising temperature in the room, a consequence of the roaring shower. He swallowed around a lump in his throat that definitely wasn’t there.

Now shamelessly naked, Zemo tugged open the shower door with his right hand, muscles rippling over the uninjured side of his back, and stepped into the spray of water.

Bucky had a brief moment debating with himself the merits of just leaving Zemo to his shower and going to get himself that drink after all, but that was promptly quashed as Zemo let out a loud moan at the first cascade of hot water hitting his body from the rainfall showerhead above him. That deep, throaty sound hit Bucky dead-on and proceeded to run over him like a high-capacity freight train, and got him dropping his pants pretty fucking quickly. Making quick work of the rest of his clothes, Bucky stepped into the shower and pulled the glass door shut behind him with a soft click.

#answered asks #WIP meme #writer asks #ravening writes #winterbaron #winterbaron fic #fic WIP #@shadowslament

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magxit · 1 year ago

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People clearly have no idea what “Diva” means if they are calling Taylor one 😂. If we are talking about Diana Ross or Mariah Carey… then yeah (respectfully, I think it’s whatever/kinda entertaining). Taylor is an anti-diva. She just needs security for crowds and crazy fans/stalkers. That’s perfectly reasonable. She’s had stalkers since AT LEAST since Fearless. I was standing there while Scott Swift was grilling one about his interest in her. He was so creepy and even after Scott clocked it, and grilled him, he was still at the show, front row, by himself (I was in there pit so I could see him). Like it’s scary!!!!

Yep and we see in real time when Taylor is NYC how the crowds get insane.

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allylikethecat · 11 months ago

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January OTP Prompts

Wow it is so much better for me to post these in the morning 😂 this one is silly but it made me smile. Happy Monday and have a great start to your week!

15. Snowball fight

George knew that rationally, their hotel being evacuated because the fire alarm was going off sucked. But George was trying desperately to look at the bright side of things. It hadn’t been one of them that set the alarm off, which was a huge plus from a PR perspective. It also was mid morning, instead of the middle of the night, which was another positive. Not that you’d know that, looking at Matty who was standing blurry eyed behind his glasses, wearing George’s sweatpants and his yellow North Face puffer jacket looking like he had been pulled from the deepest sleep and still wasn’t fully conscious. At least he was wearing proper shoes, George thought, wrapping his arms around Matty, hugging him from behind and resting his chin on the top of Matty’s head, his snow speckled curls tickling George’s chin. Matty stiffened in surprise before realizing it was George who had grabbed him, and relaxing into the touch.

“This is bullshit,” Matty whined sleepily, leaning back against George’s chest.

“They’ll have it resolved soon,” George said, hugging Matty even tighter when he realized he was trembling, shivering in the snowy winter wind swirling around them.

Matty just huffed in annoyance, his breath visible in the air, curling deeper into his jacket before letting out a strangled, high pitched yelp when he was hit in the face with a loosely packed snowball. Matty pulled away, turning around in George’s arms with snow dripping off his shocked face. George couldn’t help but laugh, especially upon seeing Ross a few yards away grinning.

“It’s not funny!” Matty snapped before breaking into his own fit of giggles when it was George’s turn to be hit. Adam was pretending to hide behind Ross, making it clear he was behind the attack on George.

George bent down, and scooped up a handful of snow, quickly packing his own snowball with bare freezing fingers and threw it with all of his might, smiling at the way Matty whooped when he got Ross square in the chest.

Following George’s lead, Matty bent down and crafted his own snowball, jumping to the side at the last moment so that the snowball hurling towards him hit George instead.

“Oh it’s on,” George laughed, catching Matty in the chest with another snowball before sending one hurling towards Adam and Ross. He scampered away, giggling as Matty turned to pelt him as well, hiding behind Mark who was standing resigned on the edge of the hotel front yard.

George couldn’t keep the grin off his face, even as Matty hit him with another snowball, he felt like a little kid again, engaging in a snowball fight with his best mates. It was like they were fourteen, running amuck in Cheshire, causing chaos instead of nearly thirty somewhere in the middle of the American midwest. A snowball hit the side of his face, snow getting in his ear and dripping down under the collar of his jacket. But George didn’t care, laughing as he made another snowball, catching sight of Matty’s wide, crooked smile. He felt like a weight he hadn’t even known he was carrying had been lifted and even as Mark was shouting at them to knock it off, brushing snow off his jacket. George didn’t want the moment to end.

Day: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

#allylikethecat #keep it kind #fanfiction #matty fic #gatty #fanfic #January OTP prompts #prompt fill #prompt fills #we are officially (I think) halfway done!!!#i am honestly so shocked i have made it this far #i 100% thought id drop off after like day four #thank you again to everyone who has been so lovely and encouraging!

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englishstrawbie · 2 years ago

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“You're as safe as a mountain / But know that I'm dynamite” (Dynamite by Sigrid)

There is no order in which I'm writing these prompts, just what inspires me in the moment. I sat down this afternoon thinking that I wanted to write something happy and fluffy for Marina, but then this prompt caught my eye and I ended up writing something sad and angsty instead. 😂 I love this song and it gave me all the Marina feels.

A link to the song

>>>>>

The apartment is quiet and still when Maya gets home. She had left the station in the middle of the Halloween festivities, slipping out the front door as everyone enjoyed the party in the barn. She had found a pile of fresh clothes in her locker, a gift from her wife she presumes, and she had never been so grateful to slip into a clean t-shirt and pants, her Parka keeping her warm in the cool evening air.

Closing the front door behind her, Maya shrugs off her jacket and slips out of her sneakers, grimacing as she bears weight on her sprained ankle and limping across the hard floor towards the kitchen in just her socks. She doesn’t bother with the overhead light, knowing her way around in the dark. She grabs a glass and fills it with water from the tap, then digs around in the top drawer until she finds a packet of Advil. She doesn’t bother to count them – extracting three, maybe four into her hand and throwing them into her mouth, swallowing them down with a swig of water.

Her stomach grumbles and she knows she should eat, but she is too exhausted to think about cooking. Even putting a slice of bread into the toaster feels like too much effort for her weary body. Instead, she takes a power bar out of the cupboard and eats it hungrily in just a couple of bites, then heads to the bedroom.

She lights the room with a bedside lamp and goes into the bathroom to clean her teeth. She can’t bare to see her reflection in the mirror, knowing how gaunt she looks these days, and keeps her gaze low, looking at the array of toiletries that are scattered across the vanity unit. She spits into the sink and dumps her toothbrush back into its cup, then picks up Carina’s moisturiser, uncapping it and holding it to her nose to inhale the soft scent of rose. It is a smell she knows well, all those times she has buried her face into Carina’s neck – an act of intimacy she hasn’t enjoyed for so long.

Maya’s heart hurts with sadness and loneliness, and she pushes it down, lets the walls build back up, tossing the bottle back onto the counter. She strips her clothes and pulls on a clean pair of pyjamas, then crawls into bed.

She hasn’t slept in her own bed for almost a week and, oh, it feels so good to sink into the familiar mattress. She pulls the comforter over her body and snuggles into the pillow, letting the warmth ease her aching limbs. If only it would do the same to her mind, which screams with voices she so desperately wants to dim – McAllister, Beckett, Ross, Carina, Andy: all telling her how she keeps screwing up, reminding her of her faults, leaving nothing but chaos and destruction in her path.

Maya squeezes her eyes closed. ‘Shut up!’ she begs. ‘Let me rest.’

She forces herself to think about something else and imagines herself running around the park, her feet pounding the gravel path, the cold wind harsh against her cheeks, her lungs working hard to push her faster and faster. She isn’t sure if the pulsing ache in her ankle is real or not, but she ignores it, letting the steady rhythm of her imaginary run soothe her into sleep.

She doesn’t know what time it is when Carina gets home, but the gentle dipping of the mattress as she slides into bed rouses Maya from her sleep. She opens her eyes to see Carina’s hair cascading over the pillow, the contours of her back flexing as she pulls her half of the comforter over her body. Oh, to be able to curl up against her body and feel Carina’s arm wrap around her, pulling her tight and whispering reassurances into her ear – that she’s not broken, that she’s not chaos, that she will make a good mom when they finally get the baby they have been dreaming about for so many months.

But that’s not who they are right now and so Maya stays silent; she doesn’t want Carina to know she is awake, doesn’t want her wife to roll over and look at her with the same disappointment that greets her every time they see each other.

Carina is kind and warm and beautiful, and yet it is written all over her face how sad and angry and frustrated she feels. She doesn’t deserve this. Maya could pretend that it is all about the baby, and how unfair it is that they have to jump through so many hoops to even try to get pregnant and how unfair it is that every attempt so far has failed, but she knows it is not true. Maya knows that she is slowly breaking the best thing that has ever happened to her and she wants to stop, she really does, but she can’t.

Maybe everyone is right. Maybe she is chaos and destruction – like a truck that ploughs through a group of motorcyclists on an afternoon ride.

Carina doesn’t deserve this, but maybe she does.

#station 19 #maya bishop #carina deluca #station 19 fanfiction #february lyric prompt challenge #my fanfiction #jmflowers

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caribbean-ace · 2 years ago

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it’s been a hot minute since i’ve gone on a deep dive about station 19 (partially my faul because i’m busy losing my marbles on twitter, what can i say) anyways, i wanted to go in depth about the episodes because it’s nice to do what i started doing and two it allows me to rewatch the episode and catch details that i normally wouldn’t when i’m watching it live. after all that being said, buckle up folks it’s 6x07 time! as usual spoilers ahead:

picking up right where we left off, the incident at meredith’s which of course was the scene where 19 was called at and of course what mortified all of us for more than 100 days, maya’s fall and her injuries once someone found her + also interesting to notice that beckett allowed andy to handle the scene, does that mean he was unable to call the shots or he’s playing safe here? + jack finding maya made sense since he was there but i’m curious, he noticed her turnouts on the floor and didn’t wonder where she was? like if she was on desk duty her turnouts wouldn’t be there in the first place idk

something that lots of people pointed out is that jack just carried maya without any support on her neck and back and i agree with them, he didn’t know the extent of her injuries or how long she was down, i’m wondering why he didn’t call 911 first and just waited for them to help but i guess that was made for the drama (?) + i’m wondering how the whole mayor storyline will unfold, like is montgomery gonna quit being a firefighter or what? unless dixon gets arrested or something for a scandal i don’t know where this is headed

i just wished ross character wasn’t involved romantically with sullivan that would be great + oh travis you messed up big time + this story was wild af, to think that these things happen all the time and they turn way worse than this is disgusting + the way maya pushed herself to that limit hurts my soul, to know that she will get the help she needs down the road gives me a little comfort but right now it hurts + i have to say the cuffs threw me off so badly😂

“where’s carina?” oh no poor maya this is just the beginning of a rollercoaster + “you look guilty” lmao busted + this is so random for sure + poor kid :( + the second carina saw jack she knew something was wrong, the tremble in her voice gave it away + i have to say danielle’s performance is so incredible, you can notice how broken maya looks by just staring at her eyes + and of course she doesn’t realize how bad she is… trauma and abuse is a hell of a thing

hughes, herrera and ross were the mvp of this episode totally + i was so tense the entire scene geez + this scene is so important when jack tells carina about maya, at first i was like ugh not again jack being in the middle of maya and carina but rewatching it i noticed how this seems to be the moment where carina chooses to help maya whether she wants it or not.

these women are incredible and i wished they would fight sexism and the abuse within the force because i know they can

not adrdessing the ladies too much because the two storylines happening are literally the only thing i was able to think for this entire episode

the way maya doesn’t even begin to see how hurt she is and how badly she needs to allow others to help hurts me, the worst part is that so many people can relate to this, growing up under abusive parenting can result into this and even worse things, i just wanna hug maya so badly

i also want to hug carina so badly, i don’t think she knows the extent of maya’s trauma maybe just bits and pieces but not the whole story which makes me wonder if the show will ever let them figure this out and have a conversation about it + i hate how they all worried after maya literally was vanishing in front of them like ugh + i’m surprised how no one has actually caught beckett day drinking, this man has been slipping since he got to station 19 + carina leaving really broke me :(

that was such an emotional episode like wow i ended up having to lay down for a minute or two because my head was spinning. i watched this live, i read lots of opinions about maya and carina and i just have to say there’s no good or bad in this story, maya has endured abuse her entire life and as result she pushes herself to the point of hurting, physically and mentally of course; carina also has endured abuse but the way she was affected by this is clearly different from maya’s, she isn’t a bad person by taking some space and time to understand the next steps, she has to take care of herself and in order to do that she needed maya to understand she needs help too. it’s so easy to point fingers and say “oh maya is horrible for saying those things” or “carina is awful because she left”. maya is hurt and obviously what she said wasn’t nice by any means but i remember reading somewhere that hurt people hurts people, and again carina has spend basically her entire life taking care of others, she needs the space to heal and allow maya to heal too.

station 19 came back stronger than ever and after this episode and 6x08 (which i watched live but i’m gonna rewatch because the streaming was wacky) it makes me feel that we’re getting something far better than we got in season 5 and for that i’m grateful. it may or may not be the writer’s intention but they created the most layered and best character in the entire show and her name is maya bishop. catch ya in the next one!

#station 19 #station 19 spoilers #maya bishop #carina deluca #vic hughes #andy herrera #natasha ross #travis montgomery #ben warren #robert sullivan #jack gibson #ale watches station 19

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