#in fact i genuinely like being told the ways in which my writing is shit

[alarming-prism]

there is truly something in the air abt getting my first hate comment on breaking patterns/mending threads two years after i finished writing it, and that it happens to be during one of the worst periods of my life

[fushigowo]

𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓 | 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

╰┈➤ gojo satoru x fem!reader

╰┈➤ synopsis: in your LIT 2000, your classmate, gojo satoru, has his eyes set on the shyest student after telling his theory to getou suguru that the shyest ones are always the horniest. to prove his theory right, satoru finds ways to know whether he’s correct and he’s absolutely sure that he is.

╰┈➤ warnings: fingering, cunnilingus, oral sex, teasing, praise, degradation? soft to rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dumbification, doggy style, cowgirl, name-calling, size kink, spanking, begging, pleasure dom satoru!! (reader and satoru are in their early 20s)

╰┈➤ a/n: this was supposed to be posted on christmas but i didn’t finish it on time :(( but i hope u all had a gentle holiday!! as a gift, i wrote whatever this is and i got inspiration from this soundgasm audio which is HOT AF!!! also, i did not proofread this. im lazy as fuck

PART I | PART II

Gojo Satoru has his pretty cerulean eyes set on someone, and that someone is none other than you.

You sit at the very front of the classroom, three rows in front of Satoru’s where he can get a clear view of you every time he stares. Not only you’re the smartest and the teacher’s pet, Satoru considers you as the most mysterious student in LIT 2000 despite being with 30 more students because of how quiet you are.

Satoru’s been observing you since the start of the year and the thing that he noticed the most was that you rarely and he means rarely talk to anyone or even participate in class. Whenever you’re called by the professor, you would mumble some I don’t knows and I’m sorrys because you can’t answer the question that was given to you. However, Satoru knew for a fact that you’re just saying those things so you won’t get to speak longer than that. He knew very well that you know the answer to every damn question.

Which is why he is so lucky to have you as a partner for a midterm essay.

As for you, you don’t know what to feel when professor called your name after Gojo Satoru’s.

You don’t really have a problem writing a five-page or more essay with a minimum of three thousand words. The problem is… Gojo Satoru is your partner. It’s not like you don’t like him. It’s just that...

Holy fucking shit. Did she figure out that I have a huge crush on Satoru?! Is that why she paired me up with him? But I made sure not to make it obvious! No, no. This won’t do.

So after class was over, you had a talk with your professor, begging for her to take the midterm essay on your own. The talk didn’t go well as planned.

Since Satoru is having a hard time catching up with LIT 2000, your professor told you to help him by partnering up in this midterm essay. However, that didn’t sit right with you so you protested, saying that there’s a chance that Satoru wouldn’t help writing the paper which would result into you writing the entire thing yourself. But that was just an excuse not to work with Satoru, otherwise you would get all flustered and nervous throughout the week while working on this midterm essay.

“It is not different from doing the entire essay myself,” you scoff.

“I know, but that is also why I partnered him with you,” she says, making you raise an eyebrow. “You can let me know if Satoru didn’t help with anything at all, which is easier for me to fail him.”

“You’re gonna fail him?” you ask.

“Yes. As you can see, Satoru hasn’t been performing well in my class,” she says, “but I figured you can help him since you’re my top performing student. Can I count on you?”

“There are other top performing students in your class though,” you mumble. Sighing in defeat, you agreed to partner up with Satoru. “Professor, did you know that I have a crush on Satoru? Is that another reason why you paired me with him?”

Silence. She knows.

“I genuinely did not know that until now.”

Crap. She doesn’t know. And I told her?! Holy—

“ForgetIsaidanythingprofessorthankyouforyourtimegoodbye.”

With that, you immediately rushed out of her office and slammed the door shut.

The only reason why you wanted to do this midterm essay on your own is because you won't have to deal with Satoru’s presence. Oh, his presence alone would make you so nervous that your smartass brain won’t even function and you would get all flustered, which is really bad because this might hinder your focus on working on the essay. Not only that, but Gojo Satoru does not take things seriously. A complete opposite of you since you take everything related to academics very seriously. But you realized that it won’t hurt to give a little help for Satoru to not fail LIT 2000.

Meanwhile, Gojo Satoru wanders around the halls of the building, in hopes of searching for you so the two of you can start working on the essay. But before that, he had a talk with his best friend, Getou Suguru.

“Yo, Satoru,” Suguru approached the white-haired man with one hand raised up. “I heard your partner for this midterm is that girl. Won’t this be the perfect time to test that theory of yours?”

“Yeah, well, I’m not trying to get into her pants,” Satoru says and a smirk grew on his glossy lips, ”not unless she wants me to.”

After your talk with your literature professor, you had to compose yourself in the rest room and even practiced a script on how you’re going to talk to Satoru. However, you had a realization that this isn’t going to be the only time that you’ll interact with Gojo Satoru since your professor knows that you have a thing for him. You scold yourself for being so nervous around him, despite being a grown ass woman.

But Satoru is… just so pretty. I can’t even look at him straight in the eyes. Also because I’ve touched myself to the thought of him so that would be awkward as fuck.

When you finally got out of the restroom, you heard a loud voice from behind and the minute you heard that voice, you already knew that it would be him. Looking over your shoulder, Satoru in his white long sleeves, black pants, messy yet gorgeous white hair and those round sunglasses. The tall man approached you with a smile on his face while you try not to melt down the ground that you’re standing on.

“I was looking for you,” Satoru says. “I thought we could start working on the essay so we can finish it ahead of the deadline.”

“You—uh, you want to start working now?” you ask, but a hint of nervousness in your voice.

“Yep!” Satoru gives you a smile and a thumbs up, and suddenly, he leans down on your face and brings his lips closer to your ear, making you shiver. “Just between you and me, I think professor is failing me this semester.”

Your eyes widen when he mentioned that.

Could it be that he heard your conversation with your professor earlier? Did he also hear the part where you told her that you have a crush on Satoru? That would make him think that you’re a complete loser in your 20s and in college yet you act like a teenager with a crush. But it’s not your fault that you’ve rejected so many guys because they’re not your standards and it’s definitely not your fault that you reject them because they’re not Satoru.

“Why would you think that?” you ask.

“Mmm? Because I haven’t been performing well in her class.” he grinned.

So he knows.

“Uh, let’s start then,” you say before walking pass him until he asked where you’re going. You look over your shoulder and said, “the library. It’s where I usually do my tasks if not in my apartment.”

“The library is too… quiet. So we’ll work in your apartment instead!”

It’s a library so it would be quiet. And did he just decide that on his own? God, he’s so stupid, I love him.

Your apartment is not far from your university. The reason why you had an apartment for yourself is because you don’t want another person taking up space and you most definitely don’t want to live with another person that you barely even know. And you’re not bothered that you’re living off-campus. It just makes it easier for you to live independently.

When the two of you got in your apartment, Satoru’s cerulean eyes scanned and observed the place. It was neat and everything is organized. But the thing that caught his attention is the stack of books next to the balcony of your apartment. Four stack of books that almost reach Satoru’s waist and he’s a tall guy. He knew that you read a lot since every time he takes glances at you in class, you’re either reading or writing something so he knows that you like reading, but he didn’t expect you to like it that much.

“Sorry, it’s a mess here,” you mumble. “Let’s get started.” You sit down on the wooden floor as you place your laptop on the coffee table adjacent to Satoru who is now sitting on the couch.

“I forgot my laptop.”

You blinked. Twice.

“Sit next to me.” he mumbled.

And that’s what you did despite being flustered at the thought that it’s only you and Satoru inside your apartment. The thought has you squeezing your legs together as you try to listen to Satoru about his ideas regarding the midterm essay. However, your thoughts were making your mind foggy and you couldn’t think straight. It’s awkward that on this very couch, you’ve touched yourself to the thought of Satoru and now, he’s sitting right next to you.

“Hey,” Satoru calls out. “You okay?”

“Mmm, yeah…” you mumble. “Since, uh, since professor asked us to analyze a chosen text from the 20th century regarding its social context, let’s choose a piece first to write about first. Do you have anything in mind?” you ask, trying your best to not make eye contact with him now that he doesn’t have his round sunglasses on.

“I have a few,” he says. “How about The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath? Or No Longer Human by Dazai Osamu? Ah! I know. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.”

“Am I the only one who didn’t cry my eyes out at the end?” you ask.

“What? You did not cry your eyes out at the end?! Are you even human?” Satory’s eyes widen, looking at you with shock while your eyes are locked on your laptop as you type. “I had snot coming out of my nose that soaked the pages of my book when I read that.”

“First of all, that’s disgusting. Second, it was sad, I admit, but I didn’t shed a tear. It was really good though so kudos to you, Mr. Steinbeck.” you chuckle. “Third, I gave it a five stars so you don’t have to attack me.”

Satoru laughs, making you flustered all over again. This is the first time you’ve heard him laugh this close and he’s laughing because of you, and you like it of course. You like that he’s comfortable around you and you like that he’s still himself despite you being awkward around his presence.

“You know, you’re actually fun to be with,” he says. Satoru’s legs are crossed while his elbow is resting on the arm rest and his cheek is on top of his closed palm as he stares at you with his pretty cerulean eyes. “But why can’t you look at me in the eyes?”

You gulped, squeezing your legs together since you can feel him staring daggers at you. Satoru seems to notice your action and a smirk formed on his glossy lips. Satoru moves closer to you, almost like you can feel his hot breath touching the sensitive part of your neck, making you shiver.

“Are you scared of me?” he asks and the only answer you could give him is by shaking your head, telling him that it’s a no. “Hmm? Then why can’t you look at me?”

You didn’t answer.

“Look at me,” he demand.

This time, you feel Satoru’s fingers making its way down your chin, making you face him and look up at him but despite his actions of forcing you to stare into his pretty cerulean eyes, you didn’t protest at all… because you like every single move he’s making on you. Satoru’s other hand glides down your arm, feeling your soft skin that made you shiver because of his warm touch.

When your eyes met his, you couldn’t help but melt on your seat. And it’s not just because Satoru is staring at you.

“There you go,” he chuckles. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now tell me, sweetheart, why are so flustered around me?”

You couldn’t form the words. Of course you can’t. How could you even continue to talk when Gojo motherfucking Satoru is so close to you that his hot breath is almost touching your skin and his hands are caressing your arms and chin, leaving you no choice but stare into his eyes. Not to mention the smirk that he has on his glossy lips.

“T-that’s because I… I—fuck.” you curse under your breath, trying hard to compose yourself and break eye contact.

“Do I make you nervous? Is that why you’re squirming and squeezing your leg so much?” he chuckles.

You bit your lips—hard—trying to wake yourself up and check if you’re having another wet dream about Satoru again. Fortunately, you are fully awake and the person right in front of you is the real Gojo Satoru. Not your fantasy, not your dream, but real. It was hard you to believe that something that you wanted for so long finally came true and you most definitely won’t let this moment go.

“S-Satoru…” you whisper, almost inaudible.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he asks with a smile on his face. “Is there something you want? Or need?”

He knows what he’s doing. He definitely knows what he’s doing.

“Touch me…” you mumble under your breath. “Just—touch me, please.”

With that, Satoru chuckles before leaning in towards your ears. His hands trailing down, from your chin down to your neck and wraps his slender fingers around the base, but not too tight. Just enough to make you squirm and squeeze your legs even more.

“If the shy girl wants it then who am I to refuse?” he whispers, his hot breath touching your skin that caused the hairs of your body to stand up.

Suddenly, you feel a wet yet hot sensation make contact with your ears, making its way down your jaw while Satoru’s hand tilt your head to the sides to give him more access of licking and kissing your jaw and neck. Your back touched the arm rest behind you as Satoru slowly pushed you down. He held both your thighs, positioning them to open so he can stay in between them as he kisses your neck down your collarbone, leaving bites and marks.

As Satoru devours your neck and collarbone, his hand expertly unbuttons your shirt while the other caresses your thighs, his fingers making circle patterns on your skin. When your buttons are finally undone, Satoru opens your shirt so he can clearly see your body underneath him. He pulls away from you so he can properly enjoy the view then pulls his shirt over his head.

Your half-lidded eyes earlier suddenly widen when you saw the perfect view of Satoru’s body. A body that was almost carved by the gods themselves and that wasn’t even the main attraction that caught your attention. It was the veins running down his crotch and that fucking v-line.

“You like the view from down there, slut?” he chuckles but then he noticed how you whined and squirmed underneath him when he called you slut. “Oh? Did you like being called that?”

You nod. But Satoru doesn’t take that as an answer so his hand made its way down to your neck again but he wasn’t squeezing it too hard.

“Yes,” you say. “I like it, Satoru. Like it when you—ngh—when you call me a slut.”

“Good. Because that’s what you are,” he mumbles as he leans down to your chest, leaving marks and kisses. “Such a shy little slut for me.”

But the white-haired man scoffs because your bra is in the way. He didn’t bother taking it off by clasping it. He just pulled it down to expose your nipples and didn’t waste any time to lick and suck your sensitive bud, making you arch your back. Satoru’s fingers pinch your other nipple while his knee keeps on pushing and adding pressure on your sensitive pussy, still covered with your now-soaked panties.

Satoru continues to feast on you body while you squirm and moan underneath him. When he was finally done with your tits, Satoru’s kisses went even further down until he reached your skirt. Being the impatient asshole he is, he didn’t bother taking them off and just lifts it up, exposing your panties that has a wet area because of your arousal.

A smirk grew on the white-haired man’s lips and didn’t hesitate to touch the wet area using his index and middle finger. He pushes his fingers on your sensitive bud with enough pressure to have you arching your back. Satoru might be an impatient man but of course he would take your panties off to have better access on your soaking pussy.

Realizing that your cunt is now exposed of Gojo motherfucking Satoru, your hand instinctively covered your pussy as if he did not just suck your tits earlier. But seeing your pussy is different. Of course you’d be shy and flustered. He’s Gojo Satoru, for god’s sake. He’s seen more pussy other than yours.

“Don’t get all shy on me now,” he mumbles. “Take your hands off or I’ll tie them together.”

With that, you slowly took away your hand, letting him see your soaked pussy.

“Don’t hide yourself from me,” he smiles. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

Satoru leans down so he can easily make contact with your cunt. His fingers rub your slit, soaking it with your juices and you couldn’t help but arch your back. A smile grows on his face and suddenly, you can feel him insert a finger inside your cunt, making you whine. His thumb draws circles around your clit that made your thighs quiver until you feel another finger being inserted inside you.

Satoru plunges his fingers in and out of you yet in a slow and sensual pace. He can feel your walls clenching around his fingers as he inserts his digits back. A smirk forms on his glossy lips and plunges his fingers even deeper, deeper than you could reach yourself.

You’ve fingered yourself before but—god, this was so different than what you would usually feel. Is it because his fingers are thicker and longer than yours? Or is it because he’s so fucking good at it?

“Ah! Satoru!” you whine. “R-right there! Right there, please!”

The squelching noise that your pussy and Satoru’s fingers are creating together as well as your wanton moans filled the air of your apartment. You didn’t care how loud you were. You didn’t care if the walls are thin and you didn’t care if your neighbors hear you. You didn’t care about anything else, you just want Satoru to make you cum with his fingers.

Satoru’s pace becomes even more faster, but he figured that it wasn’t enough. Of course it’s not enough. He wasn’t satisfied with just using his fingers.

So he leans down and lolled his tongue out, not even hesitating to lick your sensitive clit, making you jolt and arch your back when you suddenly feel his tongue circling around your clit while his fingers plunge in and out of you. Your legs start to quiver and squirm. The sensation was too much for you that you couldn’t help but close your legs. But Satoru wasn’t done so he grips your legs apart and held the back of your thighs to keep you in place.

This time, Satoru pulls his fingers out and held your thighs in place but his tongue is doing all the work now, licking and sucking your poor overstimulated pussy. Your eyes suddenly widen and your back arched when you feel Satoru insert his tongue inside you, plunging it deeper that his nose is touching your clit.

“Oh, fuck! Satoru! It’s—ngh—too much! I can’t—!”

Your whines and moans continue but Satoru was too busy eating you. But he suddenly pulls away to look at your view. You look so fucked and he didn’t even used his cock yet.

“For someone who’s shy and quiet, you’re being awfully loud for me, sweetheart.” he chuckles before devouring your cunt again.

Satoru can already feel that you’re close. He knows you’re close so he used his thumb to rub circles on your clit and that’s when you completely lost it.

Your legs quiver on Satoru’s grip when you feel your orgasm rip through you. The sensation that Satoru made you feel had you seeing stars, something that you never felt before whenever you touch yourself and this might’ve been the first time that you came this intense. And it felt so fucking good.

Seeing your fucked out state, Satoru chuckles as he watches you catch your breath after that intense orgasm.

“You still with me?” he asks. “I haven’t even used my cock yet!”

“Then use it. Fuck me, Satoru… I want your cock inside me, please.”

“Kiss me first. Come up here and kiss me.” he smiles.

You didn’t hesitate to sit back up and reach for Satoru’s face. Your hand made their way to his cheek while the other caresses his soft white hair. He returns the kiss and inserts his tongue inside your mouth, writhing and swirling against yours. This time, Satoru settles himself next to the arm rest, laying down on the couch while his head rests on the arm rest. Now, you’re on top of him, kissing his glossy lips and grinding your aching pussy on the bulge of his pants.

“Why don’t you do the honors and take my cock out?” Satoru smirks in between your kisses.

And who were you to deny that?

So you unzip Satoru’s pants, bringing it down to reveal the bulge inside his boxers. His cock sprung free when you slid down his boxers, slapping against his lower abdomen. Its size and girth has you gulping because you haven’t seen a cock that big. Sure, you’ve fucked yourself using your dildos but none of your toys compare to Satoru’s cock. A prominent vein runs along the underside of the base of his cock, its pinkish head is releasing pre-cum that drips down to the base.

You didn’t have any idea what you were doing when you had the urge to suck Satoru’s cock. But the white-haired man didn’t have any protests, of course. In fact, his hand is guiding your head to suck on his pulsating cock. After realizing that you didn’t need any guidance, Satoru lets you do your thing.

You let your tongue swirl around the base of his cock and despite it being deep inside your throat, you’re barely even gagging as you take him deeper that your nose is touching his nicely trimmed hair. You continue to suck and lick Satoru’s cock, making him release pretty moans and groans and curses under his breath.

When he felt himself getting close, Satoru couldn’t help but grip your hair and guide your head even though you’re sucking him so well. He just needed something to hold on to and your hair was perfect.

“Ah, fuck! I’m gonna cum. Shit!” he moans until he feels himself release inside your throat. Satoru lets you pull away. Your saliva and some of his cum is leaking down your chin, making him wipe it using his thumb.

“Holy shit. That was so good,” he chuckles. “You sure it’s your first time sucking cock?”

“Uh, well, I-I had some practice,” you say, “with my… toys.”

“Who knew you were such a horny slut?” Satoru didn’t let you answer when he told you to—

“Sit on my cock,” he says. “Sit on my cock and ride me like what you do to your toys. I bet they won’t even compare to mine, huh?”

You gulp before climbing on top of him again. Satoru uses his hand to snake down his head as a pillow while his other hand holds your hips. Positioning yourself on top of him, your hand holds the base of his cock while the other is clinging on the head rest of the couch to support yourself.

You lower yourself down on Satoru’s cock and you couldn’t help but whimper and bite your lips when the tip of his cock finally went inside you. His cock is far more thicker than any of your toys that it has your legs quivering and shaking yet you still continued to lower yourself, taking all of him inside you.

When you stopped, Satoru looks up at you.

“Why’d you stop? You’re not even half way there.”

“What?” you whimper. “Is it t-that big?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” he chuckles. “It’s that big.”

Without answering, you continue to lower yourself. Satoru is staring at how your pussy is taking him all in and how you’re struggling to. You’ve done this numerous times on your toys before but riding a real cock—his cock—is far different from that feeling, mainly because Satoru is big.

“It’s so—ah—so deep, Satoru. I don’t think I can—can’t take more.” you whimper.

“But it’s all inside you now,” he smiles. “Ah, fuck. You feel so good.”

To ease the feeling, Satoru lets you cockwarm him while his thumb rub circles on your sensitive clit. When you finally feel at ease and ready to ride him, Satoru places his hand on your hips to keep you in place as you bounce up and down on his cock.

The squelching noises every time his balls meets your skin fills the air of your apartment once again, accompanied by your loud moans and Satoru’s groans.

You can feel the tip of Satoru’s cock hitting the sweet spot of yours that has you clenching around him and every time you look down at the lewd sight below you, you can see a bulge forming on your lower stomach whenever you sink yourself down on Satoru’s cock. Although you seem to be fine riding him and taking all of his cock, you couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes and you even use your hand to cover the lower half of your face since his cerulean eyes are staring right at you.

“Don’t get all shy on me now, slut. You’re riding my cock and yet you still have the nerve to be shy? C’mon, don’t hide yourself,” Satoru grins when he grips both of your hips and lowers you down.

“Ah! Satoru! What are you—ah!”

You couldn’t seem to think straight when he took the initiative to guide you on his cock in a fast and rough pace. Every time he sinks your body down his cock, his hips would thrust up and meet your movement, making the lewd noises even more louder and harder than before.

“Ngh! Fuck, ‘Toru! It’s so deep! So good!”

“Yeah? It’s better than riding those plastic cocks you own, huh?” he chuckles, followed by a moan. “God, you feel so fucking good. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“‘m gonna—gonna cum, Satoru! ‘m so close! So close!”

“Do it. Cum on my cock.”

With that, your orgasm rip through you once more. Your legs quiver on top of Satoru and your chest making rapid up and down motions, letting you catch your breath while you half-lidded eyes try to open despite being fucked out after releasing another intense orgasm, but this time, on Satoru’s cock.

When you decided to get off Satoru’s still hard cock, he tells you to—

“Bend over the couch.”

And who were you to disobey?

Satoru positions your upper body to bend over the arm rest of the couch, placing a hand wrapped around the back of your neck. Wasting no time, Satoru plunges his cock inside of you again, making you let out a muffled whine.

This time, Satoru didn’t let you relax on his cock and continues to pump inside you in a fast pace. His hands grip your hips as he thrusts in and out of you. His gaze his on the lewd sight of your pussy taking him all in, observing the white ring around his cock.

Who knew he’d be fucking the smartest and shyest girl in his literature class? Who fucking knew that that shy and quiet girl is secretly a horny slut who is begging for him to fuck her harder until she can’t think?

“Oh, fuck! Satoru! Yesyesyes! Fuck me harder, please!”

“Easy.” he mumbles before fucking into you so deep that it reaches your cervix, making you grip the sheets of the couch and whine so loud that you’re sure that everyone in your apartment building heard how you’re being fucked so good.

As Satoru keeps his rough and fast pace consistent, you couldn’t seem to let out coherent words anymore and your eyes are now teary from the pleasure that Satoru is giving you. Your toes are curling and your hands are gripping the sheets as you feel yourself releasing another intense orgasm out of you.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum—gonna cum! ‘m close, Toru! Satoru! Fuck!”

“Yeah, cum on my cock again! Oh, god. Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!

Satoru quickly pulls out of you before he can release. His hand pumps his cock, releasing his cum on your back while your thighs are now soaked with your juices that drips down your legs. The two of you catch your breath but Satoru pulls you in to kiss you.

“You just proved me right, sweetheart,” he mumbles in between your kisses. “Now let’s work on that essay, yeah?” he pulls away and smiles, as if he didn’t just fucked the words and ideas out of you.

© fushigowo | 2022 reblogs are appreciated <3

[princhii]

↳ Feel It

bada lee x fem!reader

not proofread!

↳ cw!: 18+, dom!bada, drinking, use of weed, smut, use of strap, sub!reader, age gap (reader is of age, just refers bada as older woman!)

a/n: ahhh this is my first time ever writing anything so pls go easy on me yall 🫡 heavily inspired by the song ‘feel it’ by jacquees :] also lusher is referred to as both seoyoung and lusher! hope u enjoy also happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate ⭐️

“do you like the way it feels, mama?— shit, back that ass up on it just like that baby.”

and just like that, you were there. on her bed. ass up face down. how did you even get there again? oh yeah, that’s right.

the club.

———★✮꩜⋆

you were never really one to go out and party, let alone in a setting where you didn’t know your surroundings. yet, here you were, letting your bestfriend of five years, seoyoung, also known as lusher amongst everyone else— help you pick out an outfit for the night.

“oh, what about this? it’s…cute!”

“lush, i told you i want something casual. not an outfit that draws attention towards me.”

you rolled your eyes as your bestfriend kept begging you to please do it for her, just this once. and because you love her too much, and kind of wanted her to shut up, you decided to wear it. the rest of your evening was spent trying to get ready for a clubbing event your bestfriend got invited to. she’s known lots of people throughout all these years of being her bestfriend, yet you never really agreed to going to events like these with her. not because you were being rude, but because you genuinely just didn’t like that setting. it wasn’t really your ideal way of having ‘fun’. it also made you a little uneasy and a bit overwhelmed knowing lusher would probably get out of her way to show you off and introduce you to literally everyone she knew. and yes, that meant everyone.

that’s what you get for having a dancer as your bestfriend— even better, she’s in a crew.

of course, after five years of being very close, you knew about it all. you were there when it was announced she’d be on the second season of street woman fighter, and you were there when her crew ultimately won the show. you were also there when it came to her introducing you to her beloved crewmates. she was very affectionate and wanted her members to meet you personally. it was also an excuse to get to invite you to places with them, in which you did go— well, sometimes.

the rest of the crew grew fond of you and got used to your presence when you’d accompany them for rehearsals or just other activities. you yourself grew fond of the girls. except for one girl in particular. bada lee. you didn’t know what it was, but there was something about her that made you feel the most nervous around her. it could probably be because she was a bit older than everyone else, or it could be because of her carefree nonchalant aura, or it could also be the fact that she was so insanely attractive. and that’s something you for sure kept to yourself. you felt small around her anytime there’d be an interaction. like that one time you went back into their shared studio to grab your phone because you had left it in there.

you made your way back into the studio, heading towards the far right corner where you had left your phone. realizing you also left your charger, you quickly grabbed both. as far as you knew, it was just you in there. that was until you heard someone clear their throat rather loudly. as if they wanted you to know.

“ah, so that’s who’s phone it was.”

you froze. the all too familiar voice infiltrating your ears. you placed your missing items in your bag before turning around and making eye contact with the taller girl. she was standing by the doorway, keys in one hand and duffel bag in the other, assuming it was her dance bag. she gave you a small smile once you met each others gaze. it took everything in you to not audibly whimper at the sight. she was wearing her signature baggy sweats, some oversized shirt, and a cap to hold in her hair, a few strands loosely peeking through along with her bun. it was such a basic, casual outfit— but it had you melting. her attractive nature was something you were definitely not immune to.

“oh uh, yeah. was in a rush and must’ve forgotten it.” you awkwardly laughed, subconsciously gripping onto the straps of your bag for dear life.

bada glanced over at you before giving you a small nod and turning the main lights off.

“well, it’s a good thing i came back. otherwise i would’ve locked up and not notice someone being in here.” bada’s voice was kind, speaking to you very respectfully. truth be told, there was honestly no reason for you to be so nervous. but you were. you were very nervous around her. more nervous than the time you had to bail lusher out of jail, but that’s a story for a different time.

———★✮꩜⋆

“look, y/n, i promise you everything will be fine! just loosen up a little, it’s not a bad thing to have fun y’know?” lusher tried cheering you up, touching up her makeup in the backseat of the uber. you, on the other hand, were very anxious. in this moment you began to regret even coming.

“you know this isn’t even my thing. i just said yes because you promised me you’d do my laundry for a month…” and at that, your bestfriend laughed and lightly smacked your arm, gasping as she faked being offended.

the uber arrived at the infamous club lusher had been yapping about the entire drive there. you two stepped out before making way towards the entrance. it’s not like you were insecure about showing yourself off, you’re a very confident person actually! it’s just you hardly know anyone who’s attending and it’s the way your dress would tend to ride up with every step you took. lusher took your hand and gave it a light squeeze before sending you a smile as you both walked inside. the vibrations from the blaring speakers already reverberating against you, the reek of alcohol and other substances hitting your nose. you were quick to notice that lusher had immediately began greeting people, her hand still in yours as she tried to get you to engage and make conversation with a few people she knew. needless to say, it all went well. after a good thirty minutes of being dragged around and forced to interact with people, you were then led to the mini bar. you gave small waves and smiles as you saw some of the girls waiting for you and lusher to arrive.

“y/n, you look gorgeous!” kyma squealed, practically jumping out of the stool to wrap her arms around you and fawn over your outfit.

“that’s literally what i’ve been trying to tell her but she thinks it’s ‘too risqué‘, can you believe that?” your bestfriend laughed, some of the girls joining and trying to boost your confidence. and to all of their commotion, you said your thank you’s when accepting their compliments and attempts at bringing your confidence up.

eventually, you decided to indeed let loose, and ended up having a few drinks, a shot or two, and moved your body onto the dance floor with the girls. throughout the night you really did try your best to have fun and take advantage of it since it’s not something you go for. and it was working! you were genuinely having a good time. as you made your way back to the mini bar to grab another drink, the bartender working was quick to grab your attention.

“‘s been paid for, ready to drink.” was all he said before going back to attend other club goers. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before grabbing the drink the bartender had referred to. obviously skeptical, you eyed the glass. hell, you even sniffed the drink, because you know, you never know! after observing the glass full of alcohol you decided to down it. tonight you were letting loose, remember? might as well go all in. your face became flushed and slowly but surely, all the drinks were making their way back to hit you.

“didn’t really take you as a drinker so i had to see for myself, pretty.”

once again, you froze. only this time, you could feel the older woman’s breath down against your neck as she leaned into your ear, causing you to shudder whilst her velvety voice rang through your ears. bada always had a habit of just appearing out of nowhere— at least, that’s what it seemed like. turning around to face the taller girl, who was a little too close, you forced a half assed grin and gave her a small ‘thank you’ for the drink. you discreetly held your breath as best as you could, she was seriously standing close. her gaze slowly dropped down your body, confidently checking you out. a small chuckle left the dancer’s lips before backing away realizing she was indeed, way too close. you cleared your throat, trying to ease the tension and act normal— whatever that is.

“you looked like you were having fun just a while ago, why so quiet?”

oh i don’t know maybe the fact that you bought me a drink and proceeded to call me pretty then just happened to stand right in front of my face, i don’t know.

you thought to yourself, letting out a soft frustrated sigh, you rolled your eyes at the girl and turned back around getting yourself ready to order yet another shot because clearly you were not loose enough if you still managed to get this tense around bada even while being tipsy. before you could even open your mouth to order, a hand grabbed your shoulder, pulling you back slightly. whymewhymewhymewhyme, you cursed at yourself, gritting your teeth behind closed lips.

“slow down, you’ve drank quite a bit i saw you. let’s go with the others, yeah?” her hand trailed down your arm, leaving goosebumps across your skin, grabbing your hand. “i don’t normally condone this but,” she continued. “minah and tatter recently got new stuff, c’mon.” and with that you found yourself getting dragged to a far corner to a lounge room of some sort, some of the girls already sitting there. excited squeals and claps were given once you and bada walked in to join, taking seats with them. you groaned when you realized what the girls were doing, then groaned even louder when lusher blew a cloud directly into your face followed by a fit of giggles. tatter looked over at you, handing you the freshly rolled joint you assumed she just made not even minutes ago. bada nudged your arm, giving you a small nod and encouraging you to take it. you knew some of the girls would smoke every here and there. you even smoked occasionally with lusher some nights. it’s not like you’ve never smoked, you just didn’t want to deal with the consequences of your own actions the morning after. ultimately accepting tatter’s offer, you grabbed the joint and let minah light it up for you. you placed the joint in between your lips and inhaled deeply, taking in as much as you could despite already being somewhat drunk. exhaling, you blew out the smoke towards the ceiling, throwing your head back and smiling to yourself. you took another generous hit then handed it over to minah.

“what?” your voice cracked slightly as you coughed, bada glaring at you.

then she smirked.

then her eyes darkened.

then her tongue swiped across her puffy lips.

oh god.

———★✮꩜⋆

bada’s grip on your hips grew tighter, forcefully pushing you against the wall. your fingers lost in her striped colored hair. the kiss was filled with nothing but pure sin. her tongue hungrily exploring the inside of your mouth, she’d occasionally pull her tongue away to suck on yours. bada pulled away, giving you both time to catch your breaths. she looked down at you, her thumbs rubbing circles against your hips.

“ever since seoyoung introduced us to you, i’ve been dreaming of this.” she huffed out, grabbing you by the chin. “you’re so fucking bad.” her thumb lightly grazing your bottom lip. looking up, you caught her biting her lip as she focused looking down at you and scanning your body in a now disheveled dress. bada’s hand’s slowly trailed down your sides, then down to the hem of your dress that was now hiked up even more. she let it sit up above your hips. you felt her lean into you, her large hands going back to firmly grip your hips, only this time she placed her leg in between yours, pulling you down against her thigh.

“fuck, you’re so pretty…” her voice sent chills down your spine, she sounded so sexy.

“follow me.”

and you did. she opened the door to her master bedroom and let you walk in first. before even having any time to observe the older woman’s room, you felt her arms wrap around you from behind, her face buried into your neck. she placed small kisses across your neck until she got comfortable enough to start biting and sucking. your breathing grew shaky, whimpering ever so slightly at the attention bada gave your neck attentively. although this was not the time to think about it, you were definitely not excited to have to explain to lusher why you and bada left together so secretively.

“bed, now.”

you snapped out of your thoughts once you heard bada’s voice and felt her breath against your ear. she guided you over to her bed, laying you down gently, contrary to the way she was just being rough with you. bada swiftly helped you out of your dress before leaning back slightly to take in your now exposed figure. she smirked to herself before tugging her bottom lip in between her teeth, glaring back over at you. you felt a familiar heat pool in your lower stomach, quickly reacting and crossing your legs. the striped haired girl snarled and forced your legs back open as she placed her large hands on your thighs, forcefully separating them.

“don’t get all shy on me now. i see the way you stare at me, god, you really thought i wouldn’t notice?”

her hands slowly caressed your inner thighs. a low groan escaped her lips.

“and now you’re making a mess on my new sheets.”

you bit your lip trying to hold back your whimpers. you couldn’t help but drip at the way bada spoke to you, the way she teased you by grabbing on your thighs, just shy away from your heat. a surprised yelp was let out as you felt bada pull you just towards the edge of her bed. she knelt down and propped one of your legs up on her shoulder. the older woman lightly blew against your wet core, the cool sensation causing you to moan and involuntarily buck your hips towards her.

“such a needy little thing.” bada teased you, placing a small kiss against your inner thigh.

“tell me what you want, princess.”

her long slender fingers softly tracing just the outside of your folds, teasing you when she lightly brushed over your now wet cunt. you felt your heart beating out of your chest as your breathing grew heavier, shakier.

you looked down at bada while she peered up at you from in between your legs. unfortunately you couldn’t hold back any longer and the sight alone was enough to make you throw your head back and let out a desperate whine. bada laughed at you, her laughter bouncing off the walls.

“i’m gonna make you feel it, mama.”

she got up from between your legs and leaned into you, placing a soft kiss against your temple.

“make me feel like you ain’t ever had it..” she huffed out lowly into your ear, nibbling softly against your earlobe. you heard a light ringing in your ears as you started to feel dizzy. her weight on top of yours, one of her hands still groping and caressing your thigh while her other hand was trailing up and down your side, nails slightly scratching at you. wet sloppy kisses were scattered all around your neck, bada making sure to mark every spot her lips connected to. definitely was not going to be fun explaining why you have so many hickeys along your neck.

“b-bada wait—“ you pushed her away gently, her face hovering above yours. she furrowed her eyebrows at your sudden movements.

you looked away shyly, turning your head to the side. a low chuckle erupted from the older woman, it was like poison.

“haven’t even started giving you what you need and you already wanna run from it, baby?” bada teased, pressing her hand down against your lower stomach with slight pressure. you instinctively let out a rather loud moan, arching your back into her touch. she took this as her sign to keep going, lowering her face down to your chest this time. her warm tongue swirling around one of your nipples, her free hand pinching and rolling the other. you let out quiet curses and whimpers as she got to work. and, yes, she marked you there too. after a few minutes, bada pulled away and looked down at your chest, contently humming to herself as she saw the bruises forming across your chest, on your boobs themselves, and right underneath. she came back to lean in for another kiss.

her tongue almost immediately forcing itself into your mouth. loud wet noises from the kiss were all that could be heard in the room. her hands freely roaming across your body, groping you hungrily. you let out moans into the girl’s mouth, your arms snaking their way to wrap around her. you bit her bottom lip, tugging on it slightly in between your teeth. your eyes fluttered opened to look up at bada, her lip still in between your teeth as you pulled it slightly, never breaking eye contact. you felt her grip tighten on your waist, her thumbs dipping into your sides roughly.

“fuck…” she groaned as you released her bottom lip, now becoming slightly swollen. giving you a light peck against your temple once more, she went back down to kneel in front of you. repeating her previous movements and propping your leg up against her shoulder.

“seoyoung never mentioned anything about you being a slut.” bada chuckled, her index finger lightly, so painfully lightly, tapped on your throbbing clit. your hips naturally bucking up to gain more friction. the girl continued doing this until she herself grew impatient.

“be good and take it all for me, yeah baby? be a good girl for me?”

you whined shamelessly, nodding your head and babbling incoherently. bada smirked, assuming that was your way of agreeing with her. she peeked up at you from between your legs, giving your thighs a light squeeze before peppering soft kisses just on the outside of your heat. a loud cry rippled through the bedroom walls as you felt her tongue lick a long strip against your folds, hands immediately darting down to grip onto her hair, your chest shakily rising and falling. her tongue dangerously, and skillfully, working its way into your wet cunt. you felt pressure being applied to your clit which caused you to choke out a moan, your fists now full of her colored hair. her thumb rubbed circles across your clit, applying pressure as her tongue continued to work its way into your core, going as deep as she could. strings of babbled whimpers and curses escaped your lips as the girl kept working her way into you. bada’s lips locked around your aching clit, teeth lightly grazing on the bundle of nerves with every suck she gave. tugging on her hair, you tried pulling her in even closer. until you felt two long digits scissoring their way inside of your sopping cunt.

“h-hey slow down—“ your barely coherent sentence was cut off by a loud moan, feeling her fingers curl up inside of you as she gave a particularly strong suck on your clit. you felt her moaning into your pussy, causing the vibrations to make you weaker, needier.

“ ‘m gonna cum..” you whimpered out, your hands moving to grip the sheets, bucking your hips into the older girl’s mouth.

taking note of this, bada completely removed herself, now hovering over you once again. you mewled out at her, begging her to go back and finish what she had started. in swift movements, she removed her top along with her bra. you gawked at her, eyes lighting up at her exposed upper half. she smirked at you, lowering her face into the crook of your neck. she gave small kisses this time, they were sweet and playful.

you could hear sounds of rustling fabric, you craned your neck to the side and tried to look down at both of your bodies. her pants now disheveled and tossed elsewhere. but that wasn’t it. your eyes practically bulged out once you noticed she was already wearing a harness with a very large toy attached to it.

“like what you see, princess?” bada chuckled, her lips kissing all over your jawline. her large hands roaming your body once more, groping you with desire and the need for more.

“you know, when i found out you were coming with seoyoung,” she gently and carefully sat you up before flipping you over. your stomach now on the bed and your face resting against one of her soft pillows.

“i just knew i had to wear this.” she teased, her hair brushing up against your skin as she leaned to whisper in your ear. snaking one of her hands to the front of your neck as the other one stroked her strap, playfully rubbing the head against your wet folds. you opened your mouth to say something but ultimately failed doing so. the only thing coming out of your mouth being whines and weak attempts at begging. her hands roamed down your back before stopping right above your ass. she slowly trailed her hands down lower before forcefully groping your ass and letting out a guttural groan.

“such a nice ass you have , baby, fuckkk.” bada bit her lip, leaning back and smacking your ass, cursing under her breath as she watched the way it jiggled. you cried out as you felt her hand forcefully smacking your lower half. you managed to lift your head up slightly and turn around, looking back at bada. her eyes were dark and heavy, wet tongue licking her lips, her gaze never leaving the sight of your ass. you suddenly had an idea.

keeping your sight on her, you lifted your hips up, now supporting yourself on your knees. you kept the upper half of your body pressed nicely against the bed. your position was nothing short from slutty. your back creating a perfect arch as your ass was fully on display for the older woman right behind you. heavy breathing was emitting from bada, her hands now holding onto your hips as she slowly and teasingly rubbed her silicone cock across your folds. over and over and over again. you moaned desperately, grinding back against bada, wanting to feel more of it. you heard bada mutter a few curses before feeling the tip of her strap peeking it’s way into your heat. you couldn’t help but let out an almost pornographic moan while you felt her forcing just the head of her strap inside of you. to say it was big was an understatement. it was huge. the tip of her cock alone was enough to make your eyes water. another whine from you was let out when you felt her hand smack your ass once more.

you grabbed fistfuls of the sheets just beneath you, trying to pull yourself up. it all failed once you heard bada growl lowly, forcing your hips backwards which caused you to take in her entire length.

you cried out loudly, giving in and letting your tears fall freely. bada laughed quietly at your given state. but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to absolutely ruin you right here right now. she gently started to pull out but was quickly stopped once your hand went back to grab hers.

“don’t take it out…please d-“

bada didn’t need you to tell her twice.

she shoved her strap all the way in one sharp thrust, her nails digging into your hips. you moaned her name out, your face falling directly into her pillow. she gave a few shallow thrusts, wanting to give you at least some time to adjust to her length. regardless, you kept whining underneath her, begging for more.

bada didn’t give you what you wanted. so naturally you decided to do what you thought was best.

you took the initiative and started rolling your hips back, shamelessly fucking yourself on her strap. you kept rocking back, wanting to feel every inch burying inside of your cunt. bada couldn’t help but let out a rather loud moan at the sight, her eyebrows furrowing while her face contorted into one of pleasure. her arm draped across your back before her hand grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing your face back down on her pillow, your cheek pressing up against it.

“do you like the way it feels, mama?— shit, back that ass up on it just like that baby.” bada talked you through it as you kept fucking yourself onto the silicone cock attached to the older woman, her own clit becoming even more sensitive from the friction. she groaned right beside your ear once she lowered herself and hovered above you.

“so so so fucking pretty and good for me.”

she forced your entire body back down so you laid flatly across her bed. her strap coming out of your now painfully aching pussy. it’s not that it was actually painful anymore, it was the fact that she removed herself when all you wanted was to take her inside repeatedly until it became too much. and even then, you’d still want even more. your little crush on the older woman now becoming complete lust and desire, you wanted her more than anything ever right now.

and as if she could read your mind, she was giving you exactly what you wanted.

she placed her knees on either side of your body, her long legs slightly draping over your smaller ones. she pressed her body completely on top of yours. you could feel how hard her nipples were as they brushed against your back. bada grabbed her strap before aligning it directly in front of your heat. she let out a needy groan before shoving it all inside, chuckling slightly to herself when she heard you whining. her hands smoothing down your back and on your sides.

“so fucking pretty.”

bada huffed out in between each rough thrust, loving the way you cried her name out. you gripped onto the sheets once again, practically screaming into the pillow. your vision became blurred from the tears, your mouth biting down onto the pillow. bada did not like that one bit. grabbing your hair, she yanked you up towards her, your back pressing against her front perfectly. from this new angle, you could feel her thrusting even deeper. throwing your head back, you rested your head against her chest, her long arms wrapping your smaller figure. you choked out moans, your mind growing fuzzy. but god it felt so damn good.

“jesus christ, y/n you’re so hot. god you take me so well, don’t you? you like that?” she teased, biting down on your shoulder. she picked up her pace, thrusting faster, deeper. her hand trailed down to your lower stomach, pressing down.

“you feel that, princess? be good and tell me how good it feels, y/n.”

you turned your head slightly to look up at her, well, at least try to. you opened your mouth to respond but only managed to moan erotically, her hand still pressing down.

“feels so g-good— bada please!” you wailed out, reaching down to rub your neglected clit. you shut your eyes closed, letting the overwhelming waves of pleasure take over your entire body completely. bada smacked your hand away, not being too happy at your movements. instead, she replaced your hand with hers. her long fingers rubbing your bundle of nerves while she kept fucking into you.

you gasped for air as your legs started to tremble, your thighs growing weak. bada could tell just how close you were, and she was enjoying ever second of it.

“mmm, ‘m cumming bada i’m—“

once again, she pulled out completely. in which you let out a frustrated groan, lightly smacking bada’s arm.

“wanna taste you.” she whispered to you, kissing your cheek softly before taking the strap off and tossing it to the side. she turned over and laid on the bed, taking your hand and pulling you towards her.

“sit on my face baby, want you to finish here.” she pointed to her mouth, giving you her signature smirk as she winked at you. hesitantly, but still obeying, you climbed over on top of her until you hovered just a few inches above her face, not wanting to fully sit. you felt her kiss your inner thigh before she wrapped her arms around your thighs and forced you to sit on her face fully. immediately her tongue darted out, prying inside your heat. your eyes rolled back as you leaned over to hold yourself up, grabbing onto the headboard. her nails digging into your thighs as she devoured you. your hips started rolling frantically against her face, the top of her nose brushing against your clit repeatedly.

“o-oh my god yes…bada fuck please.” your grinding grew erratic, you felt yourself nearing your much needed orgasm.

you felt her voice vibrating through your cunt, but couldn’t make out what she was trying to say as she never once separated her tongue from working its way into you. her hand reached up to rub your clit, licking and sucking like her life depended on it.

she’s too proud to admit it, but she was getting off to this. her own hips needily bucking into the air with ever moan of her name you gave out, with every cry and whine, with ever lick she gave your cunt. and god was it her favorite.

all it took was one final lick and rub on your clit before you felt yourself coming completely undone. your body shook above bada, your thighs trembling against her head. you leaned forward to rest your forehead against the headboard, letting out continuous moans and wailing out bada’s name. the dancer lapped up the mess you made, helping you ride out your orgasm until she felt you stop shaking and recollecting yourself. her arms extended out to help you off of her. you managed to make yourself comfortable and laid next to the older woman, your breathing still heavy as well as hers. bada brushed some of the hairs out of your face, some of them sticking to your forehead due to the sweat. she kissed your nose and poked at it, giggling at your dazed state.

‘she just fucked me stupid and now she’s acting all cute, how is that even possible?’ you thought to yourself as you looked at her with admiring eyes.

“you did so well, princess.” she praised you, stroking your hair. all you could do was give her a small smile and lean into her touch. you scooted closer to her, burying your face into her chest. her heartbeat was still pretty fast. she wrapped her arms around you trying to pull you in even closer. she peppered kisses onto your head, whispering sweet praises to you. you felt your face heat up all over again as you grew nervous. which is very ironic given the fact that you had just been fucked by bada. you removed yourself from her chest to look up at her only to find her already locking her eyes with yours. you couldn’t help but laugh softly. she was so beautiful. her lips curled into a smile. before you knew it, your lips locked and soon grew to be a playful yet passionate kiss. you cupped her face with one of your hands, your thumb caressing her cheek. her teeth lightly nibbled on your bottom lip.

the sound of a loud ringtone could be heard coming from the living room. you smiled into the kiss before pulling away and kissing the corner of her lips.

“it’s my phone, let me go ch—“ you were cut off by bada pulling you back down.

“we’re not finished.”

just like that, bada had you pinned down once again.

———★✮꩜⋆

“ugh, why won’t she pick up the damn phone?” lusher sighed and threw her phone onto the couch.

“i’m sure y/n is fine! i saw her leaving with bada. actually, me and kyma saw them leave together.” minah perked up, trying to comfort a worried lusher.

“dude…they’re probably fucking..” tatter joked, trying to stifle a laugh.

lusher’s eyes widened at the thought, quickly shaking her head and trying to erase the image from her head.

“oh my god! they’re so fucking.”

[thesupernaturalhouse]

So I cant.....I can't anymore, Stolas fucking sucks

Season 2 as a whole sucks and gets rid of a lot of character depth that characters had in s1. But this post isn't about that-

I was recording clips for an edit, and you know in ep9 s2 when Stolas tells Blitz about "you couldn't be bothered to come save me"

Yeah.....Blitz TOLD him why he was unable to go and save him. He was even genuinely concerned and sent milly and moxxie in his place

You wanna know what Blitz said??

"Ah shit Stolas I can't today- I'm sorry I am literally on my way to take loona in for her very important hellvis S-H-O-T" and "it takes years to book it, it took 5 for me to get this one"

Aka, a rabies shot, which, racist will immediately kill you. You DON'T survive that once you get it and symptoms start showing up, it's a death sentence, and considering Loona is basically a sentient/anthropomorphic dog, if she catches it her survival rate is probably 0 percent

And you know what? Stolas gets it, and then in ep9, "the one who tried to kill em and you couldn't be BOTHERED to come help me"

Bitch he told you?? He sent people in his place?? He was getting his kid a really important shot?? Yiu selfish motherfu-

I hate this bird

I hate this fucking bird so much more now

This is just the finale straw for me that breaks the camels back tbh like......

Apology tour is just, Stolas and the narritive/writing basically gaslighting Blitz and its gross

I liked Stolitz and Stolas in s1, it wasnt a healthy relationship. The circumstances for both characters weren't super good, but it understood that and actually showed those flaws, It set up these characters future arcs

Season 2 is, frankly, a shit show. It has its moments, but ep1 ruined Stolas and Stolitz for me, and it just keeps on getting worse and it isn't even in a way of "Oh its rough, but they can bounce back

This is gaslighting. This is hypocrisy. This is guilt tripping. This is abuse.

Instead of building off of season 1 it is retconning it, it is destroying the continuity and timeline, it's making these characters so much worse then what they were

Instead of having Stolas face actual consequences for his actions the narritive is backtracking and going "Oh actually its not his fault" over and over again

Oh he cheated in the marriage? No worries Stella is a bitch so it's okay

Oh, he's neglecting his daughter despite them already having this arc? Oh, it's fine she just needs to cut him some slack

Oh he constantly belittled Blitz and made him uncomfortable in season 1? Actually it was all of Blitzs fault for misreading the signs of love!

He is constantly shown looking down and abusing other imps like his butler? Oh its fine, they aren't the main characters so what he does to them isn't important!!

Another thing is that Blitz tells Stolas how he feels. He points out his shitty actions. And what does Stolas do? He fucking cries like Blitz is being a big ol means for no reason

This trial is just going to further victimize him and make him seem in the right. The fact the sins might even be brought into it is also so fucking stupid.

The writing went from a 8 to a 1 with the characters. And it's only a 1 here because there are some good ideas in s2.

Their basically trying to cover up, retcon, Stolas's actions instead of having him deal with consequences and go through real development

Honestly the best ending for Stolitz would be Blitz realizing Stolas is toxic as fuck to him and just, not contacting him again. Stolas could get some real consequences in that trial and move on and become better in his own right

Butttt of course since Viv likes them so much it's gonna be dragged on for fucking seasons and then their gonna get together.

If I were to rewrite the season, I wouldn't even try to rewrite Stolitz.

[cyborgartalchemist2]

Imagine being so fucking aggressive about a ship you make jokes about Magneto and that very groomer scene from X-Men 97 that just... excuse the behavior? Because that doesn't sound very progressive in my opinion. Like yeah... rape culture in relationships just permeats fucking shipping but lets do nothing to argue against it. Lets make jokes that perpetuate the behavior and excuse men taking advantage of women.

To me having Magneto take advantage of a much younger mutant under his tutelage because she's desperate for physical connection and he's the only one she can touch is meant to showcase A) how Gambit contrasts Magneto and B) remind us that Magneto is never above using mutants for his own gains.

If this were reality most people would be calling Magneto a groomer and worse. We know Rogue was still a teen when Mystique took her in. We know that she's been an X-man for a few years. So Magneto was patient enough to wait until she turned 18?

Historically he hasn't done well with his love life. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver's mom left him without telling him he fathered children because she was scared of him! (I'm only going on TAS and 97 here since this is an adaptation.) So where in the high heavens does everyome think he would be good for Rogue?

I don't care about the 'better than Remy' arguments because that's not the point! The point of who you ship Rogue with should be about if it's a relationship that is good for her! Is she their equal? Does she get treated with respect? Magneto looked at the Genosha council and without asking Rogue said "I'll lead but only if this woman I am trying to get back is my queen". LIKE DOES THAT EVEN SOUND MATURE? Magneto shows up, sees Gambit and Rogue being even mildly affectionate and starts pulling asshole moves on Rogue. And the narrative did nothing to make Rogue stand up for herself (which she would have) she should have told Erik "I'm a big girl I can get my own sugar for my coffee." She is shown numerous times to remind everyone she is no one's 'territory'.

Also wish to address the fact that making Rogue x Magneto comes with a 'sex is the only thing that matters!' Flavor that is exactly what so many of us are tired of in shipping. When did shipping stop being about the drama of a couple fighting against a narrative that pushes them apart or about finding love in the most unconventional of places, like alien hunting? And become solely about how nasty they can fuck? Seriously?

AND it's so blandly hetero it's not even funny. Because honestly the ways in which a couple can experience pleasure that don't involve traditional p in v penetration is vast and wild and there are enough types of gear and costumes and the like to facilitate that between Rogue and Gambit. Because that's all the argument has to stand on, is which man can fulfill her sexual needs. WHICH SHE HERSELF REALIZED WASN'T ENOUGH. She kisses Erik and goes "nope they're ain't any sparks there. This isn't going to be fulfilling ever."

Not to mention the fact that I can't genuinely see Magneto offering to die for Rogue. Sorry that grandstanding in Genosha was not the same. It was barely a heroic move... he still didn't save the Morlocks he promised to protect... he still failed. He couldn't save Leech and he couldn't stop the Sentinel either. Because yeah Magneto attempted to save Rogue and Gambit, but he did nothing to save the Morlocks at his side and he also survived without taking out the giant killer robot... but Gambit? Gambit said fuck it, gonna take this motherfucker to hell with me. He stopped Rogue from facing the sentinel so he could. And he actually stopped it. All on his own. Because that's what an x-man would do. Sure Magneto protectdd two people but sacrificed the morlocks yet again...

AND ON THE SUBJECT OF ROGUE x GAMBIT

Has Gambit always been great with Rogue? No, but that was the 90s and now look at how he handles shit? Comics writing has grown. It was a lot more heternormative and still had lots of rape culture hold overs in it.

Look at the episode when Cody shows up. He uses Rogue's connection to him from the past and then puts her in a situation that almost takes away her humanity. Her powers, which was what lured her into this trap in the first place, saved her from a man taking advantage of her. And the one time Gambit (in TAS) takes advantage of her, Morph in her form, told him to come and get some from her first. (So while he should have paused and woke Rogue up before kissing her, he had what he thought was an invitation.)

Gambit takes Rogue's decision to rule Genosha with Magneto incredibly well. He doesn't get mad, he doesn't call Rogue names, he doesn't do anyhting to hurt Rogue the way she is hurting him. He accepts it like a gentleman. Unlike Magneto who pursued Rogue's affections in unhealthy ways.

So uh... yeah that's my fucking rant.

[justfandomwritings]

An essay on why I won’t be watching next season.

1. Obviously actors have to promote their shows and hype them up. But the interactions between Nicola and Luke during the press tour were, in retrospect, clearly also acting performances, and it is rare to see acting within the press tour to the degree that those two put on while grossly exaggerating things like how sexy this season would be or how much Polin we would get. I don’t blame them. It’s clearly what they were told to do. And it’s fine to hype a show, but I think a lot of people felt genuinely lied to with the WAY this season was hyped.

2. The casting has been color conscious and inclusive in a way I greatly admire. But they have not been inclusive in other ways. And that’s not to say they should have to be. One show shouldn’t bear the responsibility of being inclusive to everyone and making up for an industries worth of exclusion. But we have exactly one size inclusive character in this whole show, and I’m not even demanding more, but to butcher the season of the only size inclusive person in this show this badly and in these ways sends me a clear message of what the writers thought they could get away with with a curvy actress and how they saw her.

3. The wait times for this season and next season are just too long. The hype dies down too much between seasons such that we care less and less each time we get a new one, especially when you only give eight episodes, regardless of their length. You know who also gave us a season in 2022 and then an eight episode season this year? house of the dragon. And they have to CGI a fuck ton of dragons. Yall were sitting on this season being done filming for over a year and for what? What did you do in post? A bee? And then to have the audacity to do it in two parts? Fuck off.

4. Add to that. The costumes and new sets looked so much cheaper this season than previous seasons. Where did the budget go.

5. The plot is too crowded. Maybe you thought a curvy girl couldn’t carry a season. Maybe it was bad writing. Obviously you needed Cressida and Eloise to have decent amounts of screen time but you also did half of Francesca’s story and set one up for Violet and Benedict that collectively took the majority of the screen time and left us with very little Pen and Colin. Which was a disservice you never gave Anthony or Daphne’s seasons and was why they were good. We got enough crumbs of the others to tell us what was happening but not enough to make them feel like main characters or to make it feel like an ensemble show. There were leads in season 1 and 2. This season it was an ensemble with too many moving parts. But everyone’s said that. It’s not surprising.

6. My biggest problem is the tone. The blame. Admittedly I’m a woman who relates strongly to Penelope so I’m not impartial here. But for a character who spends her entire life being abused by every single person in this show, who is pushed to her absolute breaking point before finally giving her mother and the tonne a taste of their own medicine. For that character to receive no grace, no understanding, no respect, for the vast majority of the season hurt. To not only have zero understanding of her situation but to frame the entire plot of the show around the fact that SHE alone should be sorry. To have minimal to no groveling from Colin over what he said last season, to have no acknowledgment of how he treated her as a safety net, to humanize Cressida who made her life hell with minimal acknowledgment of that fact, to have Eloise get ONE comment from Cressida of all people about her friendship with Penelope but no real reflection from Eloise or acknowledgment on her part or apologies for what a truly SHIT friend she was for DECADES. That hurt. Because the message is that sure, they can push you to your fucking limit, you can break after years of being bullied for your weight and your looks and your status. Your own mother and sisters hands can be filthy with insults and abuse. Your friends can treat you like utter garbage for years. They can befriend your bullies. Your soon to be husband can, very recently, insult you to his friends behind your back. But you owe them the apology for breaking after years of abuse. It’s not that the tonne couldn’t be angry or that they all should’ve fallen at Pen’s feet. It’s that those arguments never happen at all because once again, just like when she was being used and abused by everyone, everything was put on Penelope. And the cycle continues.

7. Colin should’ve groveled more. I know I said that in the previous point but it really ruined things for me so I want to emphasize it. I wanted that man on his knees the whole season, and I should’ve known I wasn’t gonna get that when y’all dropped the list of songs and there wasn’t any of the A List Yearners on the list. But I’m still mad.

8. Actually that’s a good point. Did anyone else think the songs didn’t go as hard this year? Except Pitbull were we excited about any of them?

9. You did the Pride and Prejudice ballroom trick with the dancing alone thing and you didn’t nail it. If you’re gonna do that trick it has to fucking HIT. (And it has to be enemies to lovers.) And you did it half assed. You should be ashamed.

10. There was a two second window there when Cressida asked the maid for help where I thought they were gonna swap lives and the maid would go with her aunt and Cressida would become a maid and I was like “holy fuck is Cressida gonna become Bennys love interest?” and that would’ve been better than what y’all did I think. And it would’ve justified her excessive screen time.

11. I love gender swapping Michaela and making Francesca bi. We love it. But why was Francesca immediately interested. Once again the writers don’t understand pining. Michaela is PINING for Francesca and can do nothing but love her from afar. Francesca loved John completely and whole heartedly. Michaela was a beautiful love story for her but was also a second chance. She loved John completely. She would never have an emotional affair on him. How did you immediately ruin such a beautiful second chance romance?

12. Where was Pen’s friendship with Anthony or Lady Danbury? Why wasn’t Colin proud of Pen the way he was in the book? To make her even more alone? To emphasize that she was alone and at fault and helpless? Fuck off.

I just don’t have it in me to watch this show deteriorate further.

[trulycertain]

I did not expect to like Taash nearly as much as I did, though I'm aware "large and gruff" is my favourite character type. I really like the way that matter-of-factness applies to all the aspects of them: I loved them simply telling Bellara when she was down, "I want you to be happy", rather than couching it in platitudes. Also, I tend to have way more patience for prickliness in characters than a lot of fans I know, so my gauge is broken. They admit a lot of the closedoffness is awkwardness, fear and Qunari cultural norms. (Unlike in other series entries, Veilguard's characters mostly tell you their whole deal, which is refreshingly mature but means the whole cast are being disgustingly honest with each other. Taash is the nearest we get to the "Care about things, me, nooo" of Zev, Morrigan, Isabela, sometimes-Dorian or DAA Anders, but that's still less intentional obfuscation than not knowing them as well. Even so, I approve of the fact they're an onion and it takes a bit to peel them.)

Yes, they're abrasive when you first meet them. They've been shipped off to join the Veilguard against their will, they're most likely fresh from a debate with their overbearing, arguably emotionally abusive mother, and you come and interrupt them in the middle of a tricky mission while they try not to get you both killed.

They're shit to Emmrich at first, but they do work on it and try to find common ground with him, and admit their grumpiness came from fear. Also, he did keep asking about their mum with admiration - no wonder that was a sore spot. (An older scholar lecturing them, chastising them for their impulsivity and lack of respect for tradition... I adore Emmrich and think he's unequivocally the kindest guy in the cast, but after Taash's difficult experiences with their mother, it's no wonder they found that horribly familiar.) They get pissed-off with Neve because she's "better at" femininity, but they're ashamed, they admit why and take the olive branch she offers. They worry about getting Harding a good gift. They feed birds and worry about a stranded poet. They may ask about Crow myths, but they clearly respect and admire Lucanis' skills and tell him so. They make their mum dinner and try to level, to share, with her even though they're pissed-off and terrified.

Later in their dialogue, it becomes especially obvious that they're working really hard on being kind - they intend to be, they just misstep as they learn. Shathaan was... distant. The Lords looked after them but couched a lot of it in brusqueness, stabbing and humour. They have no idea what to do with kindness and being told they're just fine as they are (one of my favourite character tropes: see also Alistair, Sera, Isabela, Dorian). They think they're doomed to ruin everything they touch and while they loved the Lords, you get the sense they've never had this many close friends (other than maybe Isabela's mentorship and the poet they bonded with) and they're really glad of it. As said: I like that they love with as much bluntness.

Much like with Krem, I think some of the dialogue in Taash's story was clumsy, but other bits felt very true to friends I've had and my own relationship with femininity, and as said, I was surprised to realise I had grown very fond of them by halfway through. (Well-intentioned awkward social issue inclusion is nothing new for BioWare, and it's never just about terminology - people seem to write off Taash's whole personality without giving them a chance. I don't think they're any harder to like than Morrigan, Sera, Vivienne, Solas, or Davrin, all of whom have fans.) Their excitement about dragons and their awe about Crows are genuine and sweet. Also they make me cackle more than any other companion save maybe Lucanis. That'll buy you a lot of points with me.

[mdhwrites]

Sunday: As Exciting and Concerning as the end of a Weekend

Sunday is, rightfully so, a decisive character. For some, he is the peak of all Star Rail writing. A nuanced villain with grand thematics, imagery, a tantalizing moral quandary and a gray to his morality that is rare to see. To others, he is a narcissistic man with delusions of grandeur that embodies the excesses of Penacony. That he takes too long and too many words to finally get to his point, all while still just being someone who in the end wants to, you guessed it, rule the world. But where does he lie in reality?

That... Well, doesn't have an actual answer because both viewpoints are equally valid. It's akin to how Aventurine suffers from the fact that even when he's good, the writers are so worried about you GETTING. THE FUCKING. POINT. that they hammer it in in a way that is genuinely unpleasant and reveals the hand of the author. Like as a reminder, we get told the story of the Charmony Dove at least three times, in excruciating detail, before we get to the festival to actually have that come to a point. Three times in the SAME. PATCH. To the point of being detrimental to building up his relationship to Robin, which is both more powerful when brought up with his ideals but also just more important to the character in the present in general than this one story. We get it, it's his backstory but how that has compounded over time is far more fascinating.

But on the other hand, I was genuinely invested when he posed the question to us: If you know pain and suffering is the extremely likely outcome of a situation, would a gilded cage be better than the freedom that will lead to death? Should those better and stronger than those around them take on the burden of protecting them? Made even better by the fact that Sunday would have been an invisible hand in it all. Entirely alone and so the only joy he could get would not be adulation and worship but just that of a job well done. It's genuinely compelling and something that is hard to answer and the characters themselves recognize it's a tough conundrum and the final point that tips things one way or another being that people deserve a choice, and that choice being what gives us even a chance to win, is all very effective thematically.

But that's not the only problem here. When I say he's an encapsulation of the issues of Penacony, for those the planet wronged, he really is a big problem for them. Robin's character suffers for the sake of Sunday, just like Acheron is given less attention than Aventurine. He is given a shocking death as the end of a patch... Just like Firefly and Robin the patch before him to the end result of... Jack shit. They were all fake deaths because fuck you. Even if technically had a point, it was a lie to the audience for cheap drama and a false cliffhanger. That's going to leave a pretty bad taste in your mouth.

Buuuut for those who like Penacony, he's also a wheeler and dealer who's quite good at his job, only beat by Aventurine because Aventurine had help above and beyond what could have been expected and Sunday was essentially working alone. He's an antagonist but it's hard to call him a villain, like any of the major players in Penacony, because he genuinely doesn't wish for harm and is operating off of a complex set of goals that he has set in motion and needs to meet. He's got more depth to him and his relationships than would be expected, like how Jade hides parts of herself from her protege or SAM and Firefly's connection, while also being a genuinely entertaining fellow to watch as he goes through his scheme and has brilliant VA work to back up his scenes.

Way... WAY too much VA work in my opinion, the script for Penacony NEEDED to be trimmed down, but that is probably my most firm stance on Penacony as a whole. I think the only patch in Penacony with proper pacing throughout is 2.3 (and now 2.6).

Where do I fall on Sunday though? Well... I don't. Not yet. This is mostly because we know he's about to come back and he's to some extent repenting. How much is to be seen, his stated goal is to still make his paradise after all but that's also Robin's goal and Robin isn't evil so shrug. I think Star Rail is nuanced enough to write him well but...

I've kind of been burned too many times to be too hyped. I've seen charismatic villains lose a LOT of themselves after their fall and that usually comes with losing a lot of what was interesting, compelling or evocative about them. It's very easy to think that the way to redeem a character is to strip them of all traits that made them negative before instead of asking how those traits could instead be used in more constructive ways, or how those traits would interact with noble goals. I don't even know if this next patch will give us enough of an answer one way or another. I literally saw across three movies for My Little Pony one of their most compelling characters go from a charismatic force of personality, to the personality of a brick, to getting some of that initial personality back and it playing with her world in interesting ways and even recontextualizing the second movie's more languid period as essentially her figuring herself out.

Sunday's biggest problem in this regard is that his devotion to the themes of Penacony may now tie him down from being able to stretch his own wings. He did have a personality but it was so dedicated to that version of his dream that I don't know what to expect of a Sunday who is willing to seek other answers to his goal. It's part of the problem with a methodology as blunt as Penacony's. It's very easy to hyper dedicate a character to their narrative role, or even to a specific scene, and leave them lacking as a whole because of it and I feel like that has the potential to happen to Sunday.

I want to end this on a different note and that is him mechanically since the livestream has happened and we know those details. A lot of people think that because he pushes summons forward, he is not a hyper carry support but a summon support. But... No. He's a hyper carry support. His kit is all about maximizing damage. He can make other summons go faster but if he's making a support summon go faster... That support summon needs to be doing better work than he would by supporting the main DPS in the team because your team at that point is a single DPS, two supports and a sustainer. You know: The hyper carry setup.

There is a reason why Acheron mixed with Pela and Jiaqiou is called Acheron Hyper Carry. It's not called debuff, despite that being a core part of the strat, because the debuffs are just the version of support you're going for in order to maximize damage with Acheron. Sunday supporting Jing Yuan is not some new summon meta, it's a hyper carry setup where the best option for the hyper carry is a summon. As such, we may indeed end up with a lot of summons in 3.0... But he'll only be useful for the ones that act like Jing Yuan who is a DPS.

That's why I'm not pulling for Sunday. He's hyper carry in a way I am not interested in so I'm not planning to pull for him and I think that is the correct way to look at him if you are feeling mechanically pressured to pull for him. Just remember: Meta is not individuals in this game, it's teams.

I hope this was all a little insightful and helps you understand people on either side of the Sunday debate. See you next tale and good luck on your pulls!

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[lo-shouldve-been-an-email]

Okay,since I’ve just randomly randomly just reblogging Thanatos things,I decided to actually post things,more specifically an LO rewrite because f it.

At its core I do think LO is a good story,just that bad writing has squandered any potential it has to be good,so please have my take on this.(more specifically my take on Persephone,hades,and Thanatos because I have to stay on brand)

Anyways-

(The sequel)

Persephone:

She’s older.shes physically in her late 20’s/early 30’s and about seven to eight centuries older.

Her AoW only extended to those ransacking the garden.(I swear,it would have been so much more understandable to root for her if it only extended to 4-5 people instead of an ENTIRE CITY,since we know other gods have done much worse)

Her work in the underworld was mandated by Zeus as community service for the AoW.

This is more or less Zeus hitting two birds with one stone,he gets perse to make community service and maybe(hopefully) gets hades to open up to the smucks outside of the underworld because he now has an employee not from there.

Due to her guilt about the AoW,she decides that while she’s working in the underworld she’ll set out to be the best her she can be and make up for the souls she took.

At first nobody really likes her and they just think she’s someone who needed to be dragged here by Zeus and won’t amount to anything,but she ends up being the hardest working of the staff and getting a fairly infamous “employee of the month” streak,her only real fumble being Sisyphus(of which she rightfully corrected totally not being getting Hermes to drag his ass down back to the underworld and give his his infamous punishment,of which instantly gave her back any respect she lost.

She’s the type of person you think you can disrespect until she gets genuinely mad at someone,in which case everyone goes out of their way to be nice to her even though it takes a lot to get her mad.

Demeter never sheltered her,just that she heard from her mother and brother(oh yeah Plutus is in this au their twins) about the shit that happened up their(even saw it for herself a few times)and decided to nope out of that drama.

She likes the underworld a more than Olympus due to the fact people don’t get butthurt nearly as much,due to them needing to deal with crap from other gods and sometimes mortals(like Sisyphus)

Demeter was an amazing mama and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Plutus told her about the underworld so she does know a bit,but otherwise it’s a cultural shock.

She brings homemade baklava in every day of work.

She actually sent a letter to Demeter telling her about the community service…however she never got it thanks to a certain daughter of Nyx always dead set on causing discord.

Hades:

It took him two solid seconds to realize what Zeus’ plan was with Persephone so he initially looked for any reason to fire her,until he learned she was here for community service and just decided to wait out her punishment(jokes on him Zeus forgot to tell perse what her sentence was so she worked in the underworld for like a year until demeter found her when in reality she was supposed to be there for like two months)

He does eventually soften up to her(obviously) but it takes a while and a lot of baklava.

Honest to god I have no idea how to incorporate minthe in this au

Leuce is his dead wife,she died fairly recently so he’s still hesitant to connect with anyone.(“I miss my wife,Thanatos,I miss her a lot I’ll be back-“)

Recently he’s been coping via sinking into his work,Hecate and the others have taken notice but they don’t really know what to do.(their the ones that CAUSE death not deal with it)

He slowly started distancing himself from the rest of his family after the titanomachy and even more so after leuce died.

The only person he acts openly soft around is Thanatos,who he views as a son.

The only part of his extended family he interacts with is Hermes,who he actually has a really good relationship with(albeit still strained since leuce)

Fuck it.everyone has flowers symbolism.

Hades is white lilies(subject to change),perse is asphodels,thanatos(and Hypnos) is poppies,leuce is forget-me-nots,Demeter is daylilies,Plutus is orchids,Hecate is nightshades or cow parsley.

Thanatos:

He genuinely finds it hard to focus on doing his job,so people just call him lazy,so he doesn’t really try to set the bar high in return because he knows he’ll just end up disappointing everyone.

The only person who doesn’t have low expectations and wants him to try his best at his own rate is hades,who understands he finds it hard to focus but still wants him to try his best anyways.

Rotates between living with hades and Nyx(who is an extremely doting mother.

Hypnos still resides within the hr department and Thanatos helps him hide because the last thing he needs is a grumpy Hypnos.

He deals with peaceful deaths while Hermes and the keres deal with the rest.

He’s the type of person to tell himself one moment he’s gonna be really productive today and then spend the next fifteen minutes chatting away with a butterfly.

Also he can talk to butterflies.but nobody believes him except Hermes,perse,and Nyx.

The moment he finds out what Eris did she gets the “WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?!?!!?” Of her life.then queue Thanatos and the other Nyx children present trying to get her to explain why she thought this was a good idea and her just saying “bc it’s funny”

Erebus = dad with no physical body who still interact with me via shadows.hades = dad with physical body who I want to impress but I don’t know how.

(If you didn’t catch on he has adhd)

[stormyweaver]

First Time For Everything || Part 1/??)

Alright, so never let it be said I'm not a hypocrite. I'm a huge one. But this has been sitting in my drafts for over two months and I need to post it since it's not going anywhere else lmao. PLUS I'm still reeling from my gnawing obsession with V/ox resurfacing after... y'know idk exactly what triggered it but it happened regardless.

Anyway I'm proud of my dialogue for this one bc that's always something I struggle with when writing, so yeah! Plus the idea of V/ox's first cold in Hell has always just been rattling around in my head. Also it's short, but sweet. So yeah! Enjoy!

Summary: V/ox finds out there are worse things than just being in Hell; like being sick in Hell. Alas/tor has a laugh at his expense every step of the way. ~~~

It had started as nothing but a minor annoyance. A dryness of the throat, which was typical for an early morning in Hell. Moisture wasn’t really a thing, even if you considered the fucking acid rain. Which Vox didn’t; that shit was genuinely the worst. But he’d at least had access to clean(ish) water, and cleared his throat a couple of times… the sensation still lingered. Well, it wasn’t anything for him to be overly concerned with. Besides, he had a meeting this morning with Alastor where they were going to discuss more hot-topic talking points for his radio show. 

The cloying, scratchy feeling in his throat still hadn’t gone away, even though it had been at least a couple hours since he first woke up. He made himself breakfast, something simple - eggs and toast, which… the fact that he was even able to scrounge up the materials to have a decent meal still startled him. It was Hell after all - everything was still jarring. 

He barely managed to choke down the slightly burnt edges of bread and too runny eggs (jeez, the food didn’t usually taste five star, but today was bad) before getting washed and dressed. The turtleneck he normally wore felt scratchier than normal, and he tugged at the collar in irritation. Even his antenna weren’t properly fitting into his hat… Gah - today had barely started and it was already a wash.

Well, he could at least look forward to seeing Alastor. Despite how every denizen in Hell he’d met so far had told him to steer clear of The Radio Demon, Vox hadn’t been able to say ‘no’ to him yet. Not once. Even when he’d suggested the damn hat giving him so much trouble now - silly, ridiculous even he’d thought when he first put it on. But one look at Alastor’s approving grin had dashed his worries easily. He’d do just about anything to have that look directed towards him again… Oof, was the heater on the fritz again? It was suddenly so warm.

Sniffing idly, Vox descended the steps of his apartment and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Ugh, it was warm out here too. Well… that wasn’t so much surprising as it was an inconvenience. Hell always seemed to be too warm, but today the pentagram striped sun seemed to beat down on his head with a particularly harsh intensity.

He rolled his neck with a soft grunt, fingers gripping the taught muscle with a grimace. You’d think after however many years (1, 3, more?) of living with a fucking television set for a cranium he’d have gotten used to the aches and pains that came along with it. Vox once again had to remind himself that it was Hell - there were worse things than stiff joints.

“Quite the lovely day we have upon us, isn’t it?”

“JESUS SHIT–!” Vox staggered to the side, his screen glitching slightly from the shock of Alastor’s voice directly beside him. “Wh– You have got to stop doing that, Al! One day I’m gonna get a fucking heart attack.”

Alastor’s grin seemed to widen, eerily. “Oh, I would highly advise against that, old pal! We’re dreadfully short on paramedics here in Pentagram City.” His shoulders shook lightly, obviously amused at his own joke. Vox simple deadpanned, though he fought against his mouth instinct to inch upwards at the corners. Despite being fucking sadistic, Alastor could also be pretty funny - when he wasn’t unsettling or downright terrifying. 

“Anyhow~! You look a bit… disheveled this morning!” Vox tilted his head; he’d said it as if it were the most delightful observation he’d made in ages, “Sleep on the wrong side of the bed, hm?”

“No? I… Well, I looked fine in the mirror.” He argued, smoothing down his shirt a bit self-consciously. Alastor hummed thoughtfully, reached a hand out to gently tug on the tag sticking out of Vox’s inside-out jacket. “I suppose that’s the cons of not having eyes in the back of one’s head, haha!” 

Vox snorted as he began to shrug out of the denim. “Right, like you do?...” He trailed off, giving Alastor a once over. “You- you don’t, right?” 

“Oh, heavens no! But I do have my ways of seeing things others might easily miss.” His ears twitched slightly when Vox sniffed, and his head craned to one side unnaturally. Curious. 

Vox had barely gotten his jacket smoothed out, gaze flicking back to Alastor - only to find the other’s face mere inches from his own. He flinched, feeling heat creep up along his neck as he rose a brow, tentatively inching back. “Is… something else wrong?”

After far too long of a beat, the pinstriped demon snapped back into his place on the sidewalk, giving another curious hum. “Nothing at all, dear. Now! Enough dawdling - shall we get a move on? Rolling stones and such!” Without waiting for an answer, Alastor began walking down the pavement, and Vox blinked before following after him.

'He’s being extra weird today. Wonder why?' Although Vox had long since given up on making sense of Alastor’s every behavior. He’d go absolutely insane to even try. The guy… sinner… demon was nothing short of a fucking enigma, someone most insisted was to be feared and meant to stay FAR FUCKING AWAY from. Maybe Vox was foolish to still consider him good company, but it wasn’t as though he had other sinners breaking down his door to befriend him, let alone ones he actually found himself sharing common interests with. 

Plus… the guy was charming, when he wasn’t being wholly off-putting. And even then, Vox didn’t really mind that side of him. He was just quirky. 

As they walked and made conversation, Vox found his throat going from scratchy to genuinely sore and aching. He was clearing it more often, and trying not to be off-put by the odd, static distorted quality it would get every now and again. Alastor for his part seemed to be indifferent - thank goodness - but Vox felt a small mound of worry forming in his gut. Not for his throat, but something else was… well, no other way to describe it but itching in the back of his head. Like a clothes tag itching at the back of your neck, except it was directly behind his eyes, insistent and growing steadily as they walked.

Eventually, Vox’s steps slowed, and he began to blink rapidly. 

Alastor matched his pace until they were both standing still, the radio demon looking both curious and… oddly expectant. 

Vox gave his head a trembling shake, the feeling seeming to pulse before climbing higher.

“Hahh…?” The inhale swept through his lungs, causing them to seize up as his chest rose and fell unsteadily. His screen flickered as he continued to pant unevenly, a hand raising to mid-chest. Wait, this was all oddly familiar: the gasping, the build up, this itch... was he going to…? He hadn’t even noticed Alastor taking a precautionary step back before–

“heh’AAKKTTSCHHUE!!”

His head snapped forward, and Vox barely - just barely stopped the rest of his body from joining it in tumbling down. The raised hand held onto the top of his head in an attempt at steadying it, and he managed to right himself with a huge gasp. 

“Fucking shit–!!” He exclaimed, chest muscles heaving from the absolute workout straightening back up. He blinked again, before wincing and gripping the side of his head with a groan. “Fuck, fuck my head...” 

“Well, well!” Alastor tittered, clapping his hands together a few times, “Quite the performance, my good man! Quite the show!” Giddiness radiated from him, a stark contrast to the pained misery staining Vox’s features. 

“Nghh… did I just… sneeze?” It felt far more arduous than Vox recalled it *ever* being when he was alive. Then again, he’d never had to sneeze while trying to keep himself from falling on his ass. This really was Hell, wasn’t it?

“That’s the the term most would use, yes! Not quite used to it with your new hardware, eh?” Vox winced at the tap of Alastor’s staff against his head. 

“No, I’m not. Fuck, that was awful… snf!” He raised a finger to scrub against the middle of his face, and Alastor laughed gleefully when his companion realized he didn’t have a nose to actually rub. “... you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, most assuredly, my dear!” His smile didn’t falter once when Vox began to pout, “Now don’t give me that look, it’s all in good fun!” 

Despite his insistence, Vox rolled his eyes. “I don’t see what’s so ‘fun’ about feeling like absolute shit.” Maybe if it was some other sucker sure, but it wasn’t.

“So you are feeling unwell!” Alastor interrupted his thoughts, then clasped his hands together in delight, “Oh, I’d hoped that was the case!” 

“Wait, what?”

Now it was Alastor’s turn to roll his eyes. He stepped closer to Vox, lifting the bottom of his head with his staff. “Tell me, dear - does your throat ache? Do you feel a bit warmer than usual? Perhaps a little… fuzzy in the head?” 

Vox made a slight face. “How… did you know all of that?” He hated when Alastor would do this - toy with him instead of just getting right to the point. He was already feeling like garbage, what was the point of making him think when– wait…

“Ah, the cogs seeme to be turning now, yes?” Alastor’s grin was almost too eager. Vox shuffled back a bit, rubbing the side of his head as he tried to process the conclusion he’d come to. 

“Wait, I… I can get sick? In Hell? That’s a thing?!” 

“Oh, you just make this better and better, truly!” Alastor grinned gleefully, completely ignoring the panic radiating off of Vox. “But yes, you can fall ill in Hell, of all places. I assumed you knew that–”

“HOW would I have ever known that? it’s fucking news to me!”

“Well obviously,” The way Alastor rolled his eyes was enough to potentially give Vox an ulcer. Was he capable of having those, too? Why didn’t he put the pieces of still being biologically able to fall ill together sooner?! Or better yet - why hadn’t Alastor told him, since he seemed to be so fucking knowledgeable on the subject! However it seemed that his flaring irritation would have to take a momentary backseat - that awful sensation was back, almost worse than before, and a shudder rippled along Vox’s spine before it grew uncomfortably stiff. “Hahh… hhh…?” His screen flickered with static as his breathing continued to waver, a hand rising in more impulse than actual desire to cover his mouth. Even through his fluttering lids, he could feel Alastor watching him, eager and yet patient. As if this entire situation wasn’t confounding enough, embarrassing enough, the person he least wanted to be present now had a front row seat. Take a picture, it’ll last longer nestled just on the tip of his tongue, but another sharp inhale reminded him that talking likely wasn’t the smartest option. Not while his head still felt like it was full of fuzzy, restless static–

“ehh-hahH! EA’KTTSCHHHUE!” 

Though not as large as his initial sneeze, it still sent him staggering forward harshly. His screen was almost parallel with his hips in the process, and when he righted, it felt as if rising from being submerged in water for too long. His head, his neck, his core - everything ached, all from a sneeze. He didn’t bother masking a groan. 

“Fuck…” Although his discomfort might as well have meant jack-shit when countered with Alastor’s reaction. The bastard was laughing, as if seeing Vox nearly topple over from a sneeze was just about the funniest damned thing he’d seen in decades. Vox’s temple throbbed painfully as he glared at the Radio Demon, who was dabbing at the edges of his eyes with one corner of a handkerchief. 

“Oh goodness me - you certainly don’t do anything by halves, do you?” 

“You act like I did that on purpose.” Vox countered with a roll of his eyes, sniffling which… if he didn’t have a nose or sinuses, shouldn’t have been an action he could carry out. But there were multiple facets of Hell that technically didn’t make sense. Apparently this was just one among the hundreds of others. 

Alastor didn’t offer much in the way of a response. If anything, he was eerily silent, but his gaze penetrated Vox straight through to his damned soul. Vox felt warmth creep up along his neck. 

“If you’re waiting for it to happen again, you’re shit outta luck.”

Though he said it with confidence, he was internally dreading the moment another sneeze would grab hold of him. Alastor simply shrugged, but his gaze still held that air of anticipation. 

“Suit yourself. It’s certainly no skin off my nose.” His smile widened a fraction when Vox growled under his breath. 

Cyan-tipped fingers scrubbed along the surface of his screen, a bit harsher than was necessary. The irritation wasn’t as strong as before, but it lingered just out of his reach; strong enough to make it’s presence known, but not enough to trigger another sneeze. 

By the time he’d grown tired of uselessly assaulting his own face, Alastor was already a good couple of steps ahead of him. Apparently he’d grown tired of waiting for the ‘show’ to continue.

Shoulders sagging with another liquid-tinged sniffle, Vox reluctantly broke into a jog in order to catch up with him. 

Yeah. Today was definitely going to be… entertaining. 

[the-unconquered-queen]

With Blades 2 coming to an end, I just wanna get it off my chest that I'm really not a fan of how they wrote Nia for a great part of this one, particularly vis-à-vis the way they wrote MC. I know I've been saying some stuff along those lines for ages now, but it hasn't left my mind so now I'm gonna actually get into it.

For starters, I think a lot of the issue with Nia's writing was captured pretty well in the tags of this post, particularly on point 2. Like I've said, Nia unfortunately falls into the category of a Mary Sue in that every "flaw" she's given just serves to elevate her to perfection. Hell, even when corrupted—when a person is supposed to be in their most volatile state—the worst she does is be snarky that first chapter (she is aggressive toward MC at one point before this, but it's neither acknowledged nor repeated later). After that, she is entirely normal, just not as much of a pushover, and while I much preferred shadow!Nia, I do think that this really undermines the whole gravity of corruption and b2's emphasis on shadow-light balance, since shadow!Nia comes off as quite balanced already, especially compared to other corrupted characters we've seen.

But here's the thing, that post that got me thinking is months old, and we have gotten more story since then, and what I have noticed is that Nia does, in fact, have one real flaw in canon, but it's the one flaw she's absolutely not meant to have: Nia in canon can at times come off as self-absorbed. She either makes things about herself or doesn't stop people from doing this, and there are multiple examples of it. There is the instance in Riverbend when MC is taking a moment to finally try to process Kade's capture (which, following their own capture, they never got the chance to process) and Nia derails the conversation and makes it about her own grief and is comforted by MC and Mal. Another example is the moment on Gerhard's ship when she vents about the pressure she's been under and lets MC comfort her without at any point considering that MC might have been under similar pressure.

And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a character putting themselves first. But when the book doesn't waste a single chance to tell us that Nia's character is the complete opposite and that she is chronically incapable of not being considerate 25/8, it's quite contradictory. I mean, you can even call out Ethan Ramsey, PB's golden boy, on making things about himself at some point in OH, but because, unlike Ethan, Nia is written for you to consider her super sweet and wholesome and perfect, the Blades MC actually contributes to this by performing mental gymnastics to turn something around to be about Nia.

Which brings me to my final point: Blades 2 pushed MC to the side to revolve around Nia, but MC is exactly the person they meant for Nia to be, by virtue of the dissonance between showing and telling. They tell you that Nia is selfless because she always puts everyone else first. Well, I can and did name examples showing the contrary, meanwhile, MC is the one who was been through the most traumatic ordeal and is constantly checking in on everyone else without expecting and without receiving much of the same courtesy in return, even apologizing to Nia because she was "carrying all that weight on her own", never mind that MC always has the weight of the world on their shoulders. They tell you that Nia is the heart of the party, but they both told and showed us that everything fell apart without MC.

Even some of Nia's most defining character traits, MC has in similar measure. Nia sees the best in everyone? MC can be the #1 believer in Aerin's redemption after all the shit he pulled. Nia is trusting to the point of naivete? MC literally trusted Valax while she outright told them at every turn she would turn on them at the first opportunity, and was genuinely hurt by the betrayal. Miss me with MC calling Nia "our better self".

Every trait that they've gone out of their way to tell you Nia has they've shown twofold in MC, which is why it's so exasperating to me that they reduced MC to the conduct through which other characters' (particularly Nia's) stories get told while their own is an afterthought. I am by no means saying that two people can't have similar traits or that two people can't be good people at the same time, but there is something about praising these traits in Nia when, based on these, MC should be held to a similar standard. Instead, they relegated MC (main. character.) to a supporting character in Nia's story, elevating every trait that MC possesses only in Nia while ignoring them in MC to the point that many scenes felt frustrating to play.

[thedawningofthehour]

I don't know how you do the hurt/comfort so well in the book even though it is really messed up.

One example is the chapter 5 in the botanist portion. Specifically the eating the orange section and the “you know what my fathers work is.” hopefully I quote that correctly.

But when I am writing I can hurt but comfort is difficult. Like I feel like I do good with hurt no comfort fics. But I don't usually like those fics.

Ironically, that scene was supposed to have minimal angst lol, they were there so I could show Gale infodumping about plants and let Raph have a swim. Which is why I have Gale cut away when the conversation gets too heavy-that's not the purpose of the passage.

I think something a lot of people get hung up on is trying to do EVERYTHING. They want to acknowledge every injustice, represent every kind of person, explore the entirety of someone's character and trauma or whatever in one scene. (I could write a paper on the new trend of having eight-episode shows and allowing every plot point and character exactly two seconds of exposition because that's all the screentime they can get when the studio wants an epic told in the length of a novella and how this is affecting people's expectations for how storytelling should be done, but my oven timer just went off and I'm gonna eat soon) The thing you have to remember, nothing can be everything. You have to specialize at least a little bit or your ocean of storytelling becomes a wide puddle of meh.

One thing I ask myself is what is the goal here? What are the themes that I want to get across in this scene? Do they work with each other or is it jarring for the reader? What do you want the reader to take away from this? The scene in the first chapter where Draxum and Gale are doing Raph's intake exam, part of it's just exposition and me dumping background information and psuedo-science on the audience. But it's also meant to show how Draxum interacts with Raphael now that he's an ally, and show Raph how Draxum and Gale typically interact with each other. The scene with Gale taking out the explosive charge in Raph's collar is meant to highlight how very much Donnie Gale still is, how he isn't entirely obedient to Draxum and does what he does because he genuinely believes in what he's doing-and likewise, he doesn't believe Raph should be here if he doesn't believe in their goals.

The greenery scene is meant to show Raph's pre-conceived notions of who Draxum is being challenged. He sees Draxum as wholly evil, whose only goal is to do bad, like the villain of a cheap 80s Saturday morning cartoon. So far he's rejected every suggestion that Draxum has genuinely positive intentions and goals besides destruction, that might have a point even if he's going about it the wrong way. Seeing that Draxum grows fruit, that a major area of study for him is agriculture cultivation-food has traditionally been a symbol of life, peace, support, so the fact that Draxum is a horticulturist challenges the image of heartless, evil Draxum that Raph has built up in his head.

But at the same time, in the same place where he grows oranges lovingly cultivated to provide nutrition for the people who will consume them, there's poison meant to kill. It shows the depth of Draxum's intentions and the full breadth of his actions, that he wants to help life thrive but will not hesitate to take life if necessary. And Raph is also coming to terms with what he was created for, what his purpose in life was supposed to be and how he's playing into it now. He wasn't just a weapon, he was a sword meant to be wielded along with a shield. He was made to kill, and Raph doesn't agree with that-but he doesn't wholly disagree with the logic that led Draxum there. And he's very unnerved by that.

Another thing, the actual storytelling is definitely important but don't forget-it's secondary. Your real priority is manipulating the reader into feeling things against their will. You can have a completely shit story and get by if it's told entertainingly or if it made people cry. The most interesting plotline will still be a slog to get through if it's boring. You're trying to write like Donnie, but you gotta be a Leo first and foremost.

[npdclaraoswald]

Saw someone complain that people who way RTD's first era was racist just don't understand the text because Ten's "Just walk around like you own the place" was supposed to be an indictment of Ten in a "mocking colorblind liberals" kind of way, not in a "that's genuinely a fine way to treat a companion of color" way. So I'm gonna lay out why I think Russel T Davies' writing is racist. This does come with the caveat that I am white person, so you should take my analyses of racism in media with more than a few grains of salt because I do have some major blind spots.

While I'm certainly not a fan of it, my criticisms of RTD's eras are not limited to "Nine and Ten treat Mickey and Martha like shit," because yes, I do recognize that the flaws of the character do not inherently reflect the flaws of the writer. I think the narrative treats Mickey and Martha like shit.

With Mickey, it's easy to point to, especially in series 1 how he's written to be comically pathetic and undeserving of Rose's affection, particularly in comparison to the Doctor. This does get better as time goes on, especially after Pete's World, and I've heard that Mickey was cast with colorblind casting, so you could say that this was largely accidental. Especially since it does get better, it's easy to assume they let up on it once they had Noel Clarke. But RTD's black characters standing in the shadow of white characters is an ongoing theme. And that's not even mentioning the Doctor calling him an ape, because that is a Doctor character flaw and not something that I think is reinforced by the show itself. I just would be remiss not to mention it.

Similarly, Martha is held in constant comparison to Rose and we are left with no shadow of a doubt that the Doctor thinks she comes up short. Which again, you could say is a character flaw of the Doctor's, not reflective of RTD's opinions on the character. But it would have been naive at best for him to believe that doing so wouldn't make the fans hate Martha. She already set up for failure sheerly by being the follow up to the first companion of the revival- fans were always going to hate her for not being Rose. And maybe RTD was trying to criticize that impulse and make fans do some self reflection. But that's not remotely what happened and I do think it would have been stupid of him if he expected that to happen. As is, and as should have been obvious, the Doctor's attitude only reinforced fan impulses to the point that I to this day see people who hate Martha for "taking Rose's place."

But admittedly, the writer can't be held wholly responsible for the fans, he is not them. And if it were just Mickey and Martha being compared to the Doctor and Rose and being told that they're lesser by characters in universe, I might be able to let it go. But it's not just that. It's the fact that Martha has to- not just emotionally as most companions do- literally support the Doctor, having to get jobs to provide for them in both Blink and the Family of Blood two parter with no question of why she's the one that has to do that in Blink and he doesn't. That we the audience are supposed to give a single shit about Joan Redfern to the point that she gets a finale cameo a full season later. That her finale cameo tells us more about her life and wellbeing than Mickey and Martha's does. That Martha's family is enslaved by the Master with no acknowledgement of the different weight that that carries for them versus Jack. That Martha does all of the work to save the world in the year that never was and the Doctor gets all the credit.

And of course, there's Mickey and Martha together. The fact that they had barely spoken to each other previously and that Martha was engaged to a different man the last time we saw her. The fact that their relationship could easily work but there is no work put into it. That we the audience are supposed to just accept a major change in two major characters without question and just be like "of course they'd be together."

You can say other companions went through similar things, but that falls into the same liberal colorblindness that pretends that the same events don't weigh differently given the impact race has on people. Or you can make excuses for each one of these things and say that we the audience were supposed to criticize it on our own rather than being told to do so. But they add up.

And of course, there is the shitshow that is the Fourteenth Doctor. We were told Ncuti would be Fourteen. I was so excited to finally have a main black Doctor. And then out of nowhere, that title was stolen from him and given to yet another fucking white guy. A white guy who had already had a turn. Two turns if you count Tentoo! Before we could let a single black person lead the show, we had to let David Tennant know that he's the most special little boy on the planet. And then even after sucking Tennant's dick for an entire year, RTD still could not let Ncuti have the spotlight to himself. He had to redefine the way one of the basic facets of the show works specifically so he could let the world's most special white boy continue to keep playing the Doctor. Ensuring, just like he did with Martha, that fans would never let our black character just exist on their own, they would always have to contend with clamoring for their white counterpart to return and take back the mantle. And while we're at it, let's not even let Ncuti wear proper clothes in his debut. Those go to Tennant as well.

So yeah. Dot and Bubble was a good episode. I do think his textual treatment of race has improved. I however think his subtext still is, and always has been shit, whether he consciously realizes it or not. Regardless of his trying to criticize racism, he is still absolutely influenced by it.

[echowithpain]

Alright, it's been a bit since 911 has a done an episode following one storyline (with a few flashbacks) and holy shit they deliver every time.

The first 10/10 episode of the season!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Seeing Bobby's backstory with how he grew up/what his family was like... I... genuinely have no words.

I do, however, have words about the main story with Bobby trying to talk to Amir.

One of those words being "incredible". I was so invested in the absolute cinema that, you guys saw, I was barely commenting I was so engrossed. Just taking it all in.

(Again, fuck the promo for making it seem like Amir was gonna go psycho crazy on Bobby with repressed anger. I know the promos are made to get you excited about the next episode, but they could've just had Amir's speech at the AA meeting and Bobby going out to the desert and asking about Amir. But whatever, I'm not on the promo team)

One thing I can point out that I absolutely loved was when Amir told Bobby the reason he spoke up was because he was sizing him up, trying to see how someone who was responsible for so much loss and pain was able to carry on. "Pretty damn easy it seems." Bobby says "that's not actually true" but as Amir goes on about how Bobby was talking about how blessed he's been and how he doesn't want Bobby's apologies or any of his ways to make amends, Bobby doesn't jump in at any time and try to correct him about his own struggles.

He doesn't bring up how he lost his family, how he went even deeper into alcoholism, or how he had a book where he would write down the names of 148 people he saved as a way to make up for the 148 ones who died because of the fire he caused, and that once the book was filled he was gonna kill himself.

People are allowed to be angry. If you screwed up something in someone's life, intentionally or not, and they are angry at you for that, trying to put your perspective in how things went or trying to tell them how you've changed as a person since then is a fucking terrible thing to do because then you'd be invalidating their feelings and making it about you.

None of that.

He let Amir speak his mind and tell him his pain, even if he didn't know the whole story. If Bobby tried to correct him or interject about the fact that he actually suffered greatly, it would've felt like he was trying to make what Amir was saying seem almost irrelevant because "you're wrong, I was hurt by my actions too and I'm still trying to get over it just like you".

There are some people in this world who will never forgive you for some of the things you've done, whether it's genuine wrongdoings or petty bullshit. If you try to insert yourself into their life, just to bring up how wrong they are about you because you've changed/they don't have the full story or how they're being childish and need to just forgive you already, you're being an asshole.

Even when Bobby and Amir are in the hospital after everything's said and done and Bobby talks to him one more time, Amir even says "Please tell me you're not gonna keep coming back here until I forgive you because that's not-" before he gets cut off by Bobby saying he doesn't expect his forgiveness. Thank fuck.

Bobby just lets him know that he's heard him and he acknowledges the pain he's caused him. And while he does bring up he didn't just walk away from the fire, instead of taking that time to express his own loss and pain, Bobby just tells him that he's carried it with him every day and night since and that he knows there's nothing he can do to erase all the pain he's caused to Amir and the other families. He even proves that he's carried it with him by giving Amir his wife's info, including which number she was on the list of people who died in the fire. He doesn't make it about him, he keeps focus on the feelings of Amir and the others he's hurt, and I'm so thankful for that. Amir may never want to see Bobby again after this, and that's okay!

That is one thing I've gotten sick of seeing in cartoons/movies/tv shows/etc. The whole forcing forgiveness trope thing is so overdone and unnecessary. The amount of times I've seen people or characters doing the most horrendous stuff only to be forgiven by the people they've hurt because of "forgive and forget" and "letting go of the anger in their hearts so they can move on" is absolute bullshit. Or someone would've done something in their past and as a different person in the present, they go out of their way to track down the people they've hurt and won't leave them alone until they can see just how much they've changed as a person and eventually decide to forgive them.

Fuck off.

I was a bit worried at the beginning that that's where 911 was taking the story, but they didn't and I'm so fucking glad. They had their talk and while he didn't have to say anything, Amir tells Bobby that he became a nurse so he can do for others what he couldn't do the night of the fire and that's saving his wife. That's the last thing we hear from him. He could later tell Bobby he never wants to see him again, to get out of his life, or even to go fuck himself. We don't get full confirmation if he actually forgives him or not after their second talk, and you know what? I didn't mind that one bit.

If you've wronged someone and try to make amends for what you've done, no matter how big or small, but they never want to see you again, leave them be. If you've wronged someone and try to make amends, but they don't want to listen to you and instead decide to spend their life constantly reminding you of what you did and harassing you about it to make you feel bad, block them on social media and get a restraining order.

It's that simple.

(btw if we go into the next episode and Bobby is constantly checking up on Amir but Amir didn't forgive him or it turns out Amir is the one who set the grill(?) on fire outside of Bobby and Athena's place as a way to "get back at him" then I'm disregarding everything I'm saying about this episode and the score will plummet from a 10/10 to a 2/10. 911 I've got my eye on you.)

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, you’ve probably have been asked this many times but how do you start writing fanfic without cringing at yourself? i already feel silly for reading it. i noticed you have gained recognition outside of tumblr which i believe to be an achievement but i can’t allow myself to go through that.

i work in the finance sector at a big american firm, i can’t have my coworkers knowing i’m writing fanfic. i already get teased for watching disney animated films (which it’s not that bad) how do you deal with this? ik you’re still at college and ofc, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid but i bet you know what i mean? do you have some advice on this?

⚠️me not shutting the fuck up and getting way too personal below the cut

honestly at first i DID cringe at myself. i cringed so much that after posting my first fic in like november i dont think i posted again til january because i was writing and would just get so humiliated despite being alone and no one knowing who i was or what i was doing LOL but honestly the way i got over that was just to do it more because i truly love writing and why would i let feeling “cringe” stop me from doing something i love and that makes me happy? that would be so heartbreaking, life is hard enough, we deserve to do things we love and are passionate about without judging ourselves so harshly

as for not letting other people know well yeah i just don’t tell my friends or anyone ik in real life that i write fanfic lol, they know i love to write and they know im obsessed with spencer reid but that’s as much as i’ve told them! i know it’s a thing that maybe most people would consider “weird” but as someone who has a crushing fear of intimacy this is kinda my outlet lmfao. and it made me feel really insecure and weird at first but then i realized like… i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful, i have a lot of good qualities and the fact that i write fanfic doesn’t actually detract from any of them. it also helped for me to accept the reason why i write fanfic which is (and we’re abt to get real personal) i’m deeply afraid of intimacy of any kind and always have been so writing fiction abt the stuff i’m too scared to do isn’t a bad thing. there are a lot of people who wouldn’t understand it but they don’t have the same experiences as me and i don’t need them to understand it because i know that they never could. like they don’t understand what it’s like to so terrified of being known by another person that you obsess over the hottest guy in your school district for six months bc you want the validation of him liking you back and you do everything in your power to make him like you and then when he actually does reciprocate you immediately start icing him out to the point where he says hi at a party and you ignore him to his face cause you’re so afraid of men😂😂😂😂😂 they don’t get those vibes!!!

anyway basically you just have to remember that you’re doing it for you and it actually doesn’t mean something is WRONG with you if you enjoy writing and the safety and control that fiction offers you. it just means you’re one of billions of people living an entirely unique experience, just like anyone else, and honestly i think it makes you interesting. having hobbies and passions is rlly sexy and cool, regardless of what they are, and you deserve to do stuff you like doing. if anyone else is giving you shit abt it it’s probably because they genuinely don’t understand what it’s like to have interests and that makes me feel bad for them lol

[lemon-natalia]

Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 37

hmm yeah it is suspicious that the Emperor has to be locked away during the attacks. he gives an explanation, but we really only have his word for it

the Lyctors seem perfectly (and very convieniently) made to be able to enter the River while still defending themselves, which makes me wonder if that was the original purpose of creating Lyctorhood, and the Emperor maybe has some kind of plan revolving around it?

now this guy is quoting fucking Psalms 26 in Latin?? thats different to the quotes from before, the fact that its religious is interesting given this guy is apparently ‘God’ now, but he’s quoting a biblical text. also given Harrow can’t possibly know what he’s quoting 90% of the time, he’s awfully pretentious

Harrow’s eighteen, i’m pretty sure she knows how babies are made dude. at least she definitely knows after you guys nearly had a threesome in front of her on the dining room table

he’s been thinking Harrow and Ianthe are a thing omfg

the mysterious A.L.! somehow i was right that the Annabel Lee poem connected to her. and her having another name, and being dead for ten thousand years, i feel like thats a pretty good candidate for the good old Locked Tomb body. at least, thats my current theory.

‘She was my Adam’ again with the biblical stuff, this guy is seemingly religious, but also thinks he’s God??

and apparently the First House was destroyed via climate change and nuclear explosions. if i needed any other confirmation that its Earth (or some equivalent) then i’ve got it here i think

also he was just a normal person before the world ended, and he was the only one who survived and somehow became an incredibly powerful necromancer. i mentioned waaay back at the beginning of this liveblog that i knew there was a guy named John who had something to do with an apocalypse, but i didn't know if i was misremembering him being actually responsible for it, or if i was mixing it up with the Magnus Archives. and i, uh, still have no clue if that is the case or not from this convo, though i do feel like there's more he's not saying about this anyway (please no spoilers about this, i really appreciate everyone explaining things to me in the notes but i'd like to find out whats actually going on with this specifically while reading)

and A.L. was not a ‘normal human being’ whatever that means, and the Lyctors are ‘in a very real way’ A.L.’s children … what on earth does that mean? she discovered the secret of Lyctorhood maybe?

well that whole conversation both answered a whole bunch of questions and absolutely nothing at the same time 😂

well okay the dude’s gone past playing parent and just outright told Harrow he sometimes wishes she was his daughter. i really don’t know how much of that affection is genuine

imagine telling someone you view them as a surrogate daughter and they fucking. smash a glass table in response lol. and yeah if its been ten thousand years and you haven’t developed emotional intelligence yet, then i don’t think its happening mate

ohhhh shit she’s telling him about the Locked Tomb. and i suppose there are worse ways this could have ended than him not believing her at all, but i really don’t think she’s wrong, especially since Gideon said she saw her do so/saw the door open in the last book, i think she did get in there somehow

wait i was working under the assumption that it was the Emperor who’d messed up her memories, but its not! did she do it to herself then after writing the letters?