#in dreams i cry to wake again
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hey I know it's been years but I thought about soggy again and got emotional
#reader has a reoccurring dream after makki dies#shes in a room#resting her head on his lap#and she knows he's gone#her eyes are burning with twars#and hes just humming a stupid little tune#and she asks. if he was in pain. if it hurt.#and he looks down with his little sheug and goes. Dying? well. i wouldnt do it again.#and they noth laugh#until reader starts to cry#and she wakes up alone in bed#and his pillow still smells like him
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captain flint saying "i will do great violence against that thing"
#season threeeeeeeeeeeeee#black sails#i love that other people have fun but i personally do not really care about the shark fishing scene i'm in it for what happens before#i really like it when flint gets to be a good sailor—i'm impressed every time that they manage to explain what boat thing he's up to#in a way that has compelling stakes because i do Not get boats. sailing into the shipkiller storm is like. it's a trope but that's because#it's really good. like here we go you can see the terrifying clouds on the horizon the wind's picking up the light's changed we're braced#& that storm is rage & unsettled grief; it's his war. but you can see it now it's very literal#flint in his dreams walking into the underworld of the hold. flint in his dreams staring at miranda & unable to hear her#flint in the waking nightmare of the becalmed ship reloading his pistol to shoot a man with no proof against him only to hear her#& ignore her! kill her again! flint crying dryfaced on the floor of his whitewashed cabin. small. shaking by the bookcase#the great violence he will do!#yay <3 sad <3
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My favorite part of Rook’s dream 😭
#;twst liveblog#twst spoilers#//OUR Queen; he says#//OUR Queen#//I C R Y#//THEY LOVE HIM SO MUCH#//THEIR BELOVED VIL#//I mean we been knew since Book6 for sure; bc that was their greatest test of it all#//Though book5 was good when the overblot happened; when Eppie FINALLY Understood V’s pushiness of him#//But AAAAAA#//book6 was DEFFO Peak for their interactions ESP in the downward descent#//And V giving them all a little kiss in gratitude for coming to save him#//I just love them so much#//My lil trio#//& I love how it’s Eppie viciously defending V & getting SO mad in his behalf like YESSS; yell at Ro for not recognizing his mans is FAKE#//V ought to give them both a lil kiss again when he wakes from his own dream ndbxb#//I am going to CRY when they’re all reunited#//I think they’re the closest of everyone to do that tbh; not even Heartslabyul were so affectionate to each other#//Which is why I love my trio MORE jfncn
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#I'm just tired of waking up and crying every day#I can't get anything done#I can't even find joy in most things lately#I'm just trying to live through each day#I just want to sleep#but then i have to wake up again and cry again#I got to cuddle him again in my dream last night#but then i woke up
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#had a dream that my grandpa came to visit me#he made himself some coffee on his favorite press we still have and toasted some bread his way#we talked about life for a while how he was doing how i was doing#he brought my dog's son as well#and then i had to wake up to realize that won't ever happen#grief is so fucking stupid man why am i crying about this again?#wish i could hug him like i did in my dream#sorry for venting it's just that i couldn't stop thinking about it and had to let it out
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#looove having dreams about my dog dying like i love that i get to relive that over and over again forever#and then i’m always like doing that can’t breathe heaving crying bc i’m so distraught and then i wake up and i’m like oh thank god that’s#over and then i’m like oh wait but that really did happen already and then i’m like 😐 for the rest of the bc ptsd and trauma etc etc forever#*rest of the day#like fr. can’t i just have nice dreams about them and then cry when i wake up bc i miss them not because i was in the torture chamber
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#several months ago i had a dream i was sitting with my mom and my sister came in and sat down next to me#and i was surprised but happy to see her but in the dream i couldn't figure out why i was surprised to see her#it wasn't until i woke up that I remembered she was gone and I'll never see her again#i want to go back to having dreams like that#sometime after i had a dream that she'd somehow come back to life and it was a frantic scramble to get her to my brothers place#so that he could see her before anyone else found out but i woke up before we got to his place#and just now i woke up from a dream where we were essentially having a graveside memorial thing#but she was standing next to me and I could see and hear her but no one else could#and she was moving around trying to talk to other family members- including her husband- but they just couldnt hear her#and i had no way of helping them hear her so i just felt useless#these are the most vivid dreams I've ever had and i always wake up crying#im giving myself a headache from crying and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet#kee speaks
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Hey guys would you like some angst with a happy ending?
Imagine you came to your fave's world yourself through willpower or some magical way, defying all odds just to be together. Your fave is the happiest they've ever been with you at their side, the love of their life, or their best friend/ family they've always dreamed of having.
After years of being separated by a screen, you're finally together, finally able to hold eachother in your arms. Nothing could be better than this...
But one day, unaware of your existence, the creators of your f/o's source start writing in a character that fulfills your exact role. (Love interest, best friend character, family member)
Day by day. Your form begins to fade away. You begin to physically disappear a little bit each passing day the reveal of the character being written in grows closer. Your fave can only watch in horror as you're slowly taken away from them again right before their eyes. After all the work you've done to be together...
Your heart grows heavy. Each passing day you see how distraught they are. For some reason, a little voice in the back of your head tells you you shouldn't be there, that they deserve better than you. Maybe this newly introduced character will be better for them than you in the end. Maybe it's what they deserve, someone who belongs here.
The very last day comes.
You're just a flicker of an existence, and your fave can take it no more. Seeing them break down, you run off to another room and start to cry, thinking that you could've saved them all this hurt if you never came here, if you never showed up in the first place and just let this new character take your place.
You can barely see through the tears in your eyes as a pair of arms wraps around you, clinging to you for dear life, their body wracked with sobs of it's own. Your fave declares their love for you, begging whatever force is out there to let you stay, proclaiming you're the only one they'll ever love no matter what's created for them. You begin to fade away in their arms.
A figure stands a small distance away from the pair of you. It's the new character.
Kind hands are placed on either of your shoulders, grip unwavering.
"I could never break up something so true, something so pure and destined. Please don't worry."
Everything moves in slow motion. Your form flickers, and then solidifies as your fave holds you. You look up at the new character in disbelief. They've given up their spot for you.
Your fave clings to you for dear life, pulling you closer as if they haven't seen you in a thousand years. You hold them and wipe away their tears.
"I thought I was going to lose you again."
They sob. You pull them into a tight embrace. Nothing will ever come between the two of you. The new character looks on with a gentle smile.
All is right with the world. You and your fave are meant to be together. No force in this universe or the next will ever take that away.
#based on a dream i literally just woke up from#its rare i wake up crying like that#ok to rb#writing?#idk im just hugging a certain plushie extra tight right now#your efforts of selfshipping is what keeps you together#starts crying again#for extra angst: imagine the new character not being as kind#:)#...#moondrops and lollipops
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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose
#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked#she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up#or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff#and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop#i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream#this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears#on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this#also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol#and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea#it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that#and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there#and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere#and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much#in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just#(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff#there was one man who was just fully blue#also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down#or something like that. i think that’s everything#i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that#i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me#personal
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Wow turns out there's a reason every lawyer I'd ever met told me "don't be a lawyer."
#seven months into practice#most junior attorney at a litigation boutique#I've never felt more incompetent in my life#I felt pretty on top of things until last month#made a few mistakes and they keep coming#fortunately they're all different mistakes - not making the same ones twice#but jesus fucking christ#I spend probably an hour every day just worrying they're going to get rid of me#also it looks like the senior associate is leaving#which our firm structure is weird#but he's basically the only person in a mentorship role#and I feel like if he leaves I'm actually going to cry#because I feel so lost and the partners are all so busy#also my billing is shit because I'm so sad and stressed I keep just having non billable chunks of my day#which is me stressing out and just feeling bad#which isn't productive at all#stereotypical lawyer lmfao#I keep waking up at 3-4am with nightmares about my cases#I dream about work almost every night#usually fucking something up or getting fired or losing something important#I just want things to feel under control again#not spiraling just beyond my grasp#I've heard this is normal which is helpful in a small way#but consider: knowing it's normal doesn't make the actual feeling less shit
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Got the idea of getting a tattoo for my dad, & my sister said she'd be willing to get a matching one with me
This, of all things, has made me cry again for the first time in days
#speculation nation#not a bad cry necessarily. certainly not the chest aching breath gasping kinds of cries i had when things were more fresh#just a few quiet tears. the ache of knowledge that hes gone#and the quiet wish to keep a permanent memento of him. to match how he's formed my very soul.#i had another dream about him last night. another moment of unconscious acceptance.#the first one. i think it was near the start of the week. i was exploring what was in-dream an old school he went to#looking for signs of his old life.#& in the end i jumped down the center of a tall stairwell. with no fear bc i had something to break my fall.#it felt like release. and acceptance.#last night's dream. i dont remember most of it. but i remember seeing him in-dream#then remembering he was actually dead with an ache of true wrongness.#it felt like a different kind of acceptance. one step at a time the truth sinking into my psyche#because he still doesnt feel dead. not really. but with each passing day it becomes a little more real.#i still wish this was a nightmare i could wake up from. or a bad route i could reload a save to avoid.#i sometimes do dream of the deaths of people i love. and i have certainly dreamt of my father's death.#but this time it's real. and i cant wake up from it.#at this point i can only hope to have dreams of him alive again. just like how my dead cats still live in my dreams.#i wish i didnt have to dream of it. i wish he was still here.
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ya boy is so brave i woke myself up via lucid dreaming out of a three level nightmare
#level three: the worst party i’ve ever been to#my lucid dream test is when i’m having a crisis in a dream and my brain can only think this makes no sense i must be dreaming#i see if i can turn the lights on/off with just looking at the light switch#so i did and got so excited and like basically threw myself around the room trying to wake up#level two: i wake up so happy that that nightmare was not real#except then everyone tells me it did happen and i basically have woken myself up after sleeping after that party#some more stuff happens i’m like no this makes no sense am i still fucking dreaming??#so i wake myself up into….#level one: i wake up and try to stumble out for confirmation that this is indeed real life#someone starts whispering ‘platypus pancakes’#i’m like WHAt ????#they’re like ‘platypus pancakes’#i’m about to just start crying i want things to make sense again so bad#then i wake up for real. and make this post#phew!
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Part 22!
I know it would make more sense for Leo to roll up or tie this empty sleeve. But I like how it flaps haha
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Also~ Yes. It’s Donnie’s clothes
#Donnie? Donnie! :DD#LEO'S LIL GOOFY SILLY SMILE AWUWUWYW#PLEADE#NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#HE WAS EXPECTING TO BE BACK AT THE APOCALYPSE EVEN AFTER WAKING UP AND SEEING DONNIR#DONNIE**#HE THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM AND WAS SHOCKED TO SEE DONNIE BESIDE HIM AGAIN#I'M GONNA CRY#DON'T TOUCH ME#and the way donnie reacts after leo tells him he isn't hungry tho#does this imply that he starves himself or smth???? or did they all do that#his silly little fucking smile omg/pos#bro's so happy I'm gonna cry#HIS EYES ARE STILL HOLLOW IM CONCERNED#THE WAY LEO AND MIKEY JUST RUSH TO EACH OTHER'S AID (ignore how uncle tello pushed peepaw lmao)#I CAN'T THEY'RE SO BROTHERS AAAAA#THEY MISSED EACH OTHER SM:(((( I'M GONNA HACK A LUNG#LMAO RAPH BEING SUCH A GIANT AHRGFGR LMAO#AIENWHSJS THE FAMILY:(((((#cass apocalyptic series#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#future leo#future donnie#future mikey#future raph#casey jr#<-mentioned#cw implied character death#tw sibling death
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wow! I wish I could have fun!
#well!#guess god doesnt want me to yrt#*yet!#so thats so fun and really doesnt make me question why im even living in the first place!#i guess ill just sleep!#maybe my dream self will have fun!#maybe! just maybe!#ill wake up crying after having a dream about HAVING FRIENDS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#personal#what is this life.#its so fucking pointless.
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CAN JUST ONE THING GO SMOOTHLY TODAY ? JUST ONE THING ?
#Can't Sleep cause i'll have That Dream again & Cry#Can't Wake Up cause i'll Cry#CAN'T EVEN EAT CAUSE I'LL CHOKE & THEN CRY#just Don't Fucking Look At Me#mercpost#i feel sick now
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I dreamt I found my cat sleeping under a table as I cleaned up the dinning room. I stopped to pet her and started crying her name but no one else could see her :(
#why have I been having such bad dreams since the reunion#well this one wasn’t terrible because I got to see my cat again but I did wake up crying#my dreams are all like I’m back in high school mixed with current events
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