#in conclusion its just... not what i expected honestly?
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ley-med · 6 months ago
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Something that's been on my mind for a while now
Very early on, sometime during med school (then doubling down on it when I started residency) I accepted and found utmost comfort in the fact that being a doctor isn't about being a "hero", but being the tiniest drop in the ocean. I sure make differences in people's lives, but when I'm not there, someone else does just the same, and medicine is the epitome of teamwork. And it's easy to get lost in this comfort.
Then there comes a case, maybe in the middle of the night, maybe sometime else, when no-one else is around, your colleagues do their part in a different OR, so it's just you and your assistant in this OR. And you oh so want to be anywhere else because the patient is dying and you aren't sure you are going to pull them through this darkest time of their life, and it's hard and you and your assistant don't have time to breath and both of you want to leave this mess, but there is no one else to take your place. So you grit your teeth and work and realise... You don't have to be someone big to matter. Every fucking drop matters.
It's exhilarating and also damn terrifying. And I don't know, kind of validating after all those years of medical school where I was made to feel I worth less than a dead frog.
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aeide-thea · 1 year ago
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poäng appreciation post 💛
#i forget if i said but Baby Sister and i stopped off at ikea on the way back from picking her up at the bus stop on monday#and finally replaced the ruined-by-a-succession-of-cats-(in-ways-both-unsightly-and-gross) Accent Chair in the living room#with a poäng rocker (bc the shape is a little more interesting and less instantly recognizable than the regular chair) in birch (my beloved#also they make fancy tufted cushions for it now! wish they came in more colors but it's a real improvement on sad options past#and anyway it's like. now you can actually sit here in the morning and look out the window at the extremely beautiful view#and the chair actually supports you??? like i could see down the road trying to work out some kind of custom cushioning that's thicker#but the shape of the frame is so ergonomic for me that it's genuinely quite comfortable regardless. bentwood exocorset…#anyway. not a very original post but i just DO really love ikea#like yes it's a mixed bag but also honestly if you're buying particle board—#(i was going to say 'and expecting it to hold up' but. honestly i think it's just. if you're buying particle board period)#—that might be on you.#(like. if you're being pressed in from all sides by budget constraints and immediate need and no accessible better-made used alternatives—#obviously you do what you have to. but it's like buying pleather—you know‚ or should‚ that the material is going to disintegrate.)#but the things ikea makes with decent materials are remarkably well-designed and affordable for what they are‚ has been my sense?#you just gotta shop carefully but like. that's true literally everywhere.#anyway. in conclusion i love my new buddy with its clean lines. …do people name chairs ever.#i've never before had the urge but this one feels like a little assembly-line friend that deserves its own identity. like a star wars clone#(lol what if i gave it a little nametag somewhere hidden. secret identity talisman 4 chairpal.)#(& yes i promise i'm as aware of the‚ uh‚ itself-ness of this tag spiral as you are. :) )#domesticities
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npdiyozane · 20 days ago
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I don't like BSD I'm sorry if I'm putting myself through the little sister bullshit I'm doing it for a VN that does something interesting not for a basic shounen anime with a mafia aesthetic and some questionable literary references.
#my posts#dazai wanting to kill himself is really funny until you look up the guy he's named after#and like I could've tolerated it in a better anime but definitely not a basic shounen anime with a mafia aesthetic#''it gets better in season 2'' the VNs with little sister bullshit that I put myself through give me something good to latch onto#before I have to confront the little sister bullshit#like akiha's route is the third one in tsukihime and uh...#actually let's be real subahibi got significantly worse after it made its little sister bullshit apparent#and it's not specifically because of the little sister bullshit let me be clear but I do consider it a symptom#honestly the issues are kinda baked into the rest of the story but at least you can theoretically get to a better conclusion#without any edits to stuff before the second half of jabberwocky I#after that I think there need to be real structural edits like you can keep some of the content#but oh god please give hasaki some narrative agency in her own fucking POV and maybe give tomosane narrative agency in his POV#that doesn't ultimately boil down to what girl he fucks#zakuro's pov has a choice that is ultimately between ''click here for epic lesbian ending'' and ''click here for trauma''#but the choice is between her thinking about what she should do about her situation and her just going back to her classroom sadly#which reflects how her epic lesbian ending happens as a result of zakuro not falling into helplessness#meanwhile tomosane's choices only really seem to say ''the choice you make will lead you to the route you don't expect it to I guess''#and you have to complete the other two routes first before you can even unlock the choice that would lead to an ending where he rejects#companionship even though the theme of his POV is that he should accept his own connections and not resign to his presumed fate of disappea#oh yeah that theme also goes out the window because the ''good'' endings of the game decide to fix all that by revealing that#he was the ''true personality'' all along and implying that being a system is a barrier to a super happy ending#you know what this has turned into a tangent but I'm keeping it here because now I wanna make a post on an alt about it later#and I wanna use it for reference#point is why put myself through a mid shounen anime with normal mid anime problems when I can get psychological damage from something inter
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idolomantises · 6 months ago
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Wasn't sure when it would be the best time to discuss this, but since the ending is drawing near... yes, Bugtopia is ending.
It was a decision I really wrestled with myself for months over it, before finally concluding that letting it end after 40 episodes was the better option. Just to be clear, webtoons did not force me to end the series. They even offered to give me a pay raise to continue the series. It was my decision due to a multitude of personal factors. I'll just repeat what I said on my patreon:
I just want to say, first of all, thank you all so much for patiently waiting for my series to release and for supporting my work as I began developing the series. Bugtopia was a series I genuinely loved and adored and it made me feel so incredibly happy that people were turning their heads towards a series about weird bugs and their natural lives.
However, as you can probably guess, it pains me to say that I am concluding the series after season 1. I had 4 seasons planned with new characters to introduce, but unfortunately, I cannot see myself continuing to work with Webtoons and I want to pursue other projects.
This decision was due to a compiling number of issues with the company, the final straw was when they had a mass layoff, fired my editor that I've been working with for two years, and did not inform me for a week, leaving me in the dark until they randomly assigned me with someone else. My new editor is great and I'm glad I'm working with someone so patient and understanding, but this decision to fire my previous editor, the one who got me the job to begin with, without prior warning made me feel disrespected and disregarded, and it killed all motivation I had for properly completing the series.
I also felt incredibly overworked, I was spending vacation days working on comics and avoiding time with family just so I could get something done for webtoons once I come home. I feel like so much time was being wasted away for a company that paid me so little that I had to work twice as hard building up funds on my patreon. Bugtopia just ate up so much of my time. The pay also didn't make up for it. It's commonly assumed that webtoons authors make about $800 for the episodes they do, but that's not true. In fact, you can make far less depending on the amount of panels expected for your contract. It doesn't help that the artwork i did for banners and promotions were all things I had to draw and didn't get paid for, and the work I gave was either tampered with or scrapped, making me feel like I spent more hours of my day wasting time. There were also comics I had to censor and scrap, likely due to another series being in hot water for its racially insensitive content. But it was just extra work I wasn't being paid for. It also frustrated me because I was seeing other series with far more explicit content getting away with a slap on the wrist (turns out you can't say "fuck" anymore without it being hit with a mature rating, disappointing!)
In all honesty, it just felt like webtoons needed me more than I needed them. I was making more money from patreon in a week than I was making from webtoons in a month.
Personally, while I don't really regret my time with Webtoons and met some great people along the way, I honestly don't think any artist should work with them. You will be severely overworked and underpaid, and will barely be featured in ads unless your series becomes an instant hit immediately. It doesn't really matter how successful you are, you're just a product to Webtoons, put yourself above the corporation.
I have tried my best to provide you all with a satisfying conclusion to Bugtopia, even if some episodes may feel rushed or incomplete, but I completely understand if the conclusion isn't to your liking and I do apologize, but I could not continue working on this series if this was the mistreatment I was going to continuously get. I owe a massive thank you to my editor and assistants for helping me complete the series, I truly don't think I could have ever finished it without them.
Though I am done with Bugtopia, that does not mean I want to stop projects entirely, so please don't feel bad for me. I have a lot of upcoming projects and ideas in the works, and I'm still continuing the Monsters and Girls series.
Will Bugtopia ever return... possibly. I retain complete ownership of the series after a few years, and I wouldn't mind continuing the canvas series (or possibly starting over). Unfortunately I don't think I can continue the Webtoon Original as it belongs to webtoons now, but never say never I suppose!
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kadoodles-on-ao3 · 2 years ago
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So uh... How do you feel about Nikol's existence?
I technically shouldn't know who that is yet but... I do. And. Well. You can probably guess by how you worded this ask hahaha.
Not surprised at all, if you like them as a couple then good for you and hope you're enjoying the DLC, you don't need me on your side because they're canon so that can satisfy you content-wise plus my opinions are silly and don't matter, etc etc, all I've said before applies here.
Honestly, if anything, the only unique thing I have to add here* is how his design really demonstrates how much Shulk and Fiora look like siblings lmao. There's even a (really cool!) fan mod to alter Fiora's hair and skin color to look more like her (actual) brother, so I'm not alone in seeing this haha.
So, Nikol. He sure does exist. Dude looks just like Shulk because his dad and mom both look like Shulk so what else could he look like. That's about all the thoughts I have haha (at least until I actually play more of 3 and see what he's like).
Non-ask-related ramblings under the cut because it's me, of course I rambled haha.
As I really don't like to nor want to rain on anyone's parade, as well as enjoy talking about the ship I like (because of course), I've made an effort to mentally retrack my train of thought (? idk how else to describe it lol) whenever my NOTP comes up by converting it into an opportunity to talk about my OTP instead of complaining. (See also my comment on What If We Kissed In The Weapons Development Lab where I mentioned going back into my fic and adding more details of Shulk being enamored by Melia whenever I came across Shiora while writing it lol.)
So, Shulkelia kids! I'm personally not one for creating OCs, in general or for media I like. Not that I dislike them or even the thought/process of making them! It just doesn't come to me as easily or interest me as much as digging into canon details and playing around with them. But I did come up with a couple rough concepts for what they might look like and how their parents might decide on their names... if they even would want to have kids in the first place, that is, I'm still unsure about that haha. But fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be and that's the fun of it, so maybe sometime I'll try developing those small ideas into something more (especially if it's something people are interested in reading)! If anything I'm most attached to my little blurbs I wrote about how they and their kids would interact with Reyn and Sharla and their kids, lots of cute potential there :)
(*Well, I can add something more, and I originally was going to do it! Not to contradict my whole don't-like-raining-on-anyone's-parade point, but again I want to stress, my intention with this is I just really enjoy analyzing details and understanding why I react to things in the way that I do. But I did mention to a previous ask that I have in-game writing reasons for why I dislike Shiora, it's not just personal experience from my life outside of the fandom or in observing it. In fact on my first playthrough of the game I was all for it and even saved a bunch of fanart of the two together on my phone, I see it when scrolling through my gallery all the time! It really fascinates me how drastically my perspective shifted after just one small moment at the very end of the game, and then on replaying it everything fell apart like a house of cards to me, wild stuff I can't compare the experience to anything else haha. Anyway if anyone's interested in seeing my take on that aspect of their writing, once again, feel free to send me an ask about it!)
#ask#xenoblade chronicles spoilers#xenoblade spoilers#xenoblade 3 spoilers#xenoblade chronicles 3 spoilers#xc3 spoilers#thank you for the ask! hope my answer was satisfying despite being what you probably were expecting to hear haha#honestly i am a little conflicted on whether i want to keep playing 3... outside of how big of a time commitment it would be#it also really touches on something that is a major part of how i enjoy the media i do:#i'm very much a fan of stuff that is quite open to interpretation where they give you just enough fascinating details to act#as puzzle pieces that you're free to put together yourself or not or add your own pieces in that you made yourself if you want#see my undying love of the mother series haha#but xenoblade 1 very much taps into a lot of that for me#in fact that's basically what the prologue i'm writing right now is: me putting a magnifying glass on interesting#details and implications from the game about characters you don't see for half of it and putting together#my idea for what they could have been doing that we didn't get shown by the game#and one of the many (many many many) things i adore about 1 is its quite-open-ended conclusion#so to have a sequel that is basically directly telling you how the world and characters ended up years on#(especially when it was likely not planned from the start of writing 1's story as well#no hate or disrespect at all but you can just tell when it's something extending a story that wasn't originally meant to keep going)#it's hard for me to not lose some enthusiasm/interest in it#which is sad! i want to play it! i want to experience it how the devs and writers intended!#i want to join in and be hyped and happy and loving everything like everyone else seems to be!#i like the new characters more than i thought i would! the gameplay is great so far and there's a lot of good qol stuff there!#the music is phenomenal and i hear they reincorporate leitmotifs from 1 and 2 in key areas related to the themes and locations that#said leitmotifs are for and that sounds *incredible* to me as a musician and lover of orchestra/scoring!#but also i just can't help but feel like in the back of my head ''leave the story alone it was so good you don't need to add more''#and ''please god let shulk and melia rest they look so tired'' lol#also it doesn't help that i have a pet (lmao accidental pun) peeve that i hate catgirls with a fiery passion so. yeah
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doromoni · 3 months ago
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Not Over the Papaya | OP81
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⊹ 。•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader
Genre : Fluff Smau
A/N : Let the silly season begin againn~
Face claim : Jennie Kim
Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
< Previous | Part 15 | Next >
mclaren
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liked by landonorris, zakbrown, Ln4 and others
tagged @/landonorris and @/zakbrown
mclaren What a night with the Mclaren Family! To a successful first half of the season 🎉
landonorris Now that’s how a team celebrates!
mclaren y’know it DJ!
user1 Mclaren is showing the grid the best driver pair 💪
user2 Oscar is monstrous even just on his 2nd year 😮‍💨
user3 where is Oscar??!! he's not in any of these pics
user4 you are so right! why are they celebrating without Oscar??
user5 Oscar’s in Aus with the other drivers and Y/N
user6 Dude Oscar should really try to fit in with the team better
user7 Ik… dude is not making himself look good by skipping team gatherings
user8 jumping into conclusions there bud
user7 Am I tho? What? like mclaren threw a party without telling Oscar?? their own driver??
user8 I wouldn’t move past it them … Ehem what ever happened with Danny Ric? yeah exactly
user9 Bro Piastri really chose to be with other drivers than show support to the team who gave him a seat and a job 🤡
user10 Dude just won a race and decided he’s above everyone else
user11 Oscar is starting to piss me off. He should be supporting Lando and the team inside and outside the track. He’s just plain selfish
user12 why is everyone suddenly going ham on Oscar’s absence??? So what if he missed a team party? do y’all expect him to fly across half the world to kiss ass. Y’all need better things to do.
user13 Nah dude, I love Osc but they do have a point. He should show some appreciation the team who gave him a car.
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*Incoming call from Mavy (Mclaren PR)
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*Incoming call from Mavy (Mclaren PR)
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*Incoming call from Mavy ( Mclaren PR)
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*Turn on Do not Disturb?
* Do not Disturb is enabled
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f1news
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f1news Is the entire grid in Australia??? Look at all of them in suits 😮‍💨 As it turns out Oscar’s “party” tweet was not a joke at all!
User1 Wow just what did Oscar do to make them all come??
User2 Is that lewis?? wait is that SEB VETTEL?!!
user3 IK im freaking out too!!
user4 Ohoho I smell dramaaaa
user5 Hmm no Lando?? or Zak?? or any papaya??
user6 Well John, Osc’s engineer is there
user5 ok fine one papaya
user6 What tf is going on??? Luv to see it tho
user7 Not oscar turning the tables at McLaren.
user8 He’s so unhinged! Honestly only he can pull something so crazy as this.
user9 i heard other people are attending not just drivers.
user10 yeah i heard that too! apparently its turning into smth quite big and other singers and celebs are attending
user11 lmao thank Y/N’s influence
Y/N. 5m
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story replies
oscarpiastri Can’t wait to see you on stage
Y/N. Well you do like bragging that I’m yours
oscarpiastri guilty as charged, baby. They can look but at the end of the day you are mine
Y/N. mhm all yours Luv.
oscarpiastri Thank you for doing this my dear… i know it was sudden for me to ask you to perform
Y/N. are you kidding?? I’m so down to help you Baby. Show them youre no push over!
oscarpiastri Y’know i could get fired for this right
Y/N. Well~ i could earn for the both us luv. 😉
oscarpiastri harharhar . ily you gremlin
Y/N. Ily more! I’ll stay by you through everything. thats a promise.
oscarpiastri
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liked by Y/N., charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, sebastianvettel, and others
oscarpiastri No. This is how you celebrate.
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*incoming call from Zak Brown
Pick up or Decline
Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed
Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now
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astralis-ortus · 8 months ago
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against the world
✱ boyfriend!bc × fem!reader
— for as long as i love you.
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w.count → 2k genre → angst, fluff, a dash of comedy warnings → reader mocked by a character, self deprecating thought a.n → based on this request! took me a while to figure how to write because brain did not want to work together with the pictures i had in mind but we're here! it's a fun one to work on (despite the angst)(i actually love the angst) and i hope it's up to your expectation!<3 ⋆ see masterlist
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the bus ride felt like forever.
honestly, you weren’t even sure why you ended up arguing with chan in the first place. hell, you couldn’t even remember what even really irked you about his response. all you remembered was about feeling upset and ended up lashing out at chan to the point where he decided to head back to his studio despite just coming back the hour prior, just so he doesn’t say anything he might regret.
when he still hadn’t returned hours later, however, guilt started to dig its sharp nails into your sore heart.
you knew you had to let him cool his head—you understand that, but you can’t sit still knowing he’d likely lock himself in and drown himself in work. you can’t, especially when you knew for a fact he hadn’t got anything to eat since you two were planning to go on a date had the argument never happened. he hasn’t been on top of his condition as is, and you won’t be able to forgive yourself if this whole absolute ridicule of a situation you caused made him fall sick.
hence, after your nth call went straight to his voicemail, you know there’s only one thing left you could do—go to his studio and apologize.
“thank you,” you offered a smile at the familiar security guard, bowing your head enough as you entered through the trainee and artist entrance of the building. usually, either you or chan would offer him a snack or coffee whenever you got there together, but with all the chaos happening inside your head, all you could remember to grab was the light meal you had hurriedly prepared for chan as an apology.
“bang chan is still in his studio,” the security guard quietly informed with a knowing smile, abruptly stopping you in your track with your eyes wide at him, “most of the staff, trainee, and artist have left for the day, but you could let me know if you need access to the rooftop. the weather is good enough for you to talk there.”
you blinked at his offer, a little stunned at the conclusion he took just by looking at you. is it that obvious…?
“it’s going to be okay; fights are bound to happen between couples,” he continued lightly with a tender smile, as if reading the thoughts passing your mind, “as long as you love and care about each other, there’s nothing you two can’t handle. don’t worry.”
choking up a breath, you hurriedly thanked the security guard and walked past the familiar hallways leading to your boyfriend’s studio. tears were pooling dangerously in your eyes, threatening its way out as you replayed the passing advice in your head. he’s right—as long as you love and care about each, there’s—
“hey! you! stop right there!”
the loud echoing voice snapped you out of your thoughts, again halting your steps before you reached your destination. despite your racing heartbeat at the sudden loudness, you try your best to seek for the other soul around—leading your eyes to land at a female figure at the end of the hallway.
“oh,” you immediately bowed your head as soon as you noticed the identity of the staff rushed towards you—one you recognize as a part of division 2, according to an exchange she had with chan a few months prior during one of your visits. “hello, i just—”
“who are you? how do you get in here?” the sharpness in her voice made you wince; startled and confused. you’re certain she’s aware of your presence before—distinctly remembering how chan awkwardly introduced you as to her own request, understandably wary of an unfamiliar face lurking around a private section of the company.
“right,” you shook your head, ridding your mind off of the uneasiness you picked up, “sorry, you probably don’t remember. i’m chan’s girlfriend. we met a couple months ago? i remember chan introdu—”
“girlfriend?” she scoffed, not even letting you finish your sentence. the way she shut you off left a sharp sting in your heart, but even that wouldn’t compare to the way her icy gaze pierced right through you—pricking and prodding every inch of your appearance, finalized with a condescending snicker.
“another crazy fan, huh?”
you felt your heart sink at the accusation. dating chan, you knew it would come with the bad alongside the good. you understood that, and you knew better than anyone to focus on the flowers and butterflies chan made your everyday look like while paying zero attention to the odd snarky remarks here and there. though it sure has been quite some time since the last time someone accused you of being delusional, but to be completely honest with yourself, it didn’t make it hurt any less.
fingers tighten around the strap of chan’s meal bag on your hand, you try hard not to let yourself crumble as you attempted to defend yourself, “no, i’m not—”
“besides,” cutting you short, she took a step closer and shoved her fingers on your shoulder, “you need to wake up. why would chan even date someone like you?”
you know you’re not perfect. you know that despite the amount of love you have for chan, there’s no promise of a perfect future between the two of you. you know that there’s a possibility of a life where you have to live without chan, and the blame will most likely be on you—because you’re not pretty enough. you’re not talented enough. you’re not someone of a similar background. you’re not even anywhere close to being on chan’s level, and it’s all because you’re you.
“seriously, get a grip,” she hissed, digging her fingers onto the bone of your shoulder while you desperately bit your lip, trying to contain the tears threatening to fall. “you’re just some lowly, delusional fan. don’t even—”
“don’t even what, noona?”
both you and the staff immediately snapped your eyes towards the figure behind her; heavy, firm steps towards you with his jaw tense and a silent rage burning in his eyes. she immediately scrambled away from you, hiding her hands—ones nearly pushing you to an endless canyon of despair.
you’ve never seen chan that angry.
“i-i just—”
“she’s my girlfriend,” chan emphasized through gritted teeth, taking your freezing hand in his trembling one, “and you do not talk to my woman like that.”
“i was just looking out for you!” she attempted to defend herself, fear present in her eyes as she attempted to look straight into chan’s eyes. “you know how crazy these sasaengs have been these days! i just—”
“stop!”
your body involuntarily jumped at the sudden raise in his voice, eyes wide as you looked at him in surprise. his face was red—but even from your point of view, you could see he was hurt.
“no one gave you the right to talk to my people like that,” chan towered against her as he makes himself clear, "especially towards my woman. you don’t—”
“channie,”
your voice was soft, but it was enough to quiet down the anger burning inside chan. yes—his priority is to keep you safe.
shifting his attention entirely towards you, chan felt his heart drop—your eyes were red, trails of tears apparent down your cheeks. your fingers were ice cold against his burning skin, and the way he felt your body tremble broke his heart.
“baby,” chan cracked a weak smile, trying to ease the tension on you as he ran his palms against your arm, “are you okay? need me to carry you?”
you quickly shook your head, sniffles escaping past your lips as your nerves slowly calmed down. you’re just so, so tired—and all you need is chan.
“let’s head to my studio, okay?” his voice was soft, arms wrapped around your frail figure as he leads you down the empty hallway, leaving the still stunned staff behind. he’ll deal with that tomorrow; because now, your well-being mattered most to him.
as soon as you got to chan’s studio, he immediately locked the familiar green room and covered you up with a blanket—ones he kept especially for you, keeping you warm as he quietly cuddled you on the small couch. your faint sniffles turned into sobs, and as the sense of safety finally settled in your bones, you finally let yourself cry into chan’s arms.
chan simply stayed silent; warmth of his arms surrounds you whilst he lets you pour your feelings out.
he heard almost everything the staff had said to you, and he’s mad at himself for not being able to protect you from those words. he should’ve been there with you, keeping you safe from the unnecessary hate just because you’re his girlfriend. he should’ve stayed with you instead of running away. he should’ve—
“i’m sorry for lashing out on you,” you clutched onto his hoodie, voice coming out weak as you try to regulate your breathing. “i didn’t know why i was so upset. i shouldn’t have done that to you. i’m sorry.”
“i’m sorry too, baby,” he pulled you closer into his arms, letting you nuzzle against the crook of his neck. “i shouldn’t have left you home alone, let alone for hours. i just—i could’ve handled it better. i’m sorry.”
a hum escaped your lips along with a soft shake of your head, showing your disapproval to his apology. “no, channie. i understand why you feel like you need to leave to clear your head. just… i’m worried because you didn’t answer my calls, and i know you hadn’t eaten anything today, so—”
“wait,” chan gently pulled away and looked at your flushed face, light trace of his fingers fixing the stray strands off your features, “you called? i didn’t hear my phone ring—or buzz, as a matter of fact. when did you call?”
“last was an hour ago, i think?” you leaned onto chan’s warm touch. “i don’t know. i was hurrying—ah,” eyes suddenly wide, you prodded your finger at the bag chan had set aside on his desk earlier, “i brought you some sandwich to eat. it’s not much, but you need to eat, channie.”
chan was stunned—he felt warm.
he’s used to being left alone to sort his feelings. he’s used to being treated as if his emotions were worth nothing, and he only mattered if he did something for others. chan is used to feeling invisible—but with you, he felt seen. not because of what he’s trying to prove, but because of the simple fact that he’s… him.
clearing his throat, chan immediately flashes a smile at you. “let’s eat first, yeah?” he hummed, voice noticeably lighter as he gently moved you off his lap and grabbed the little bag. “you should eat too. you spent a lot of energy crying.”
“but—”
“no buts,” he playfully glared at you, lips pursed in protest, “you came all the way here for me, it’s only fair i share my food with you.”
“after this,” finally unpacking the sandwich and handing you his other half, “we’ll order something else and some ice cream while i play you some of the songs i was working on. sounds good?”
the way your face lit up was enough of an answer for chan—your excited nods were merely a confirmation.
“alright, alright,” he chuckled, fighting off the urge to pull you back into his arms. instead, chan fished for the phone in his pocket and handed it to you. “your pick, baby.”
“yes! i’m—wait,” pressing on the power button, you blinked upon realizing how the screen remained unchanged despite your attempts. “did you forgot to charge your phone, channie?”
Chan grimaced. You could see how he’s slowly tracing his steps throughout the day—until a split second of realization flashed past his eyes. His lips turned into a little grin; one he always wears when he realizes he did something wrong.
“…did i?”
You’re out of words.
“channie!”
“hahah—i’m sorry!”
©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡
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naddiesflower · 2 years ago
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Calling him by his name and not by a term of endearment
another one in the drafts that needed to see the light of day
Characters: Todoroki Shoto and Bakugo Katsuki
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Shoto
You truly didn't mean to do it
You honestly just straight up forgot one day
You would always greet each other outside of class before school started
Like clockwork, you would give each other a small hug and you would always say “hi baby” or something similar, but you would always call him baby…..except for today
“Morning Shoto,” you pull away from the hug, and he has a frown on his face that looks different from the one he usually has
“You okay?”  
He’s quick to shake it off, “Yeah, come on, we’re going to be late for class.”
You guys were actually early, but you just brush it off as him wanting to be punctual
Shoto really wants to question you
But he doesn’t
Not outwardly at least
He’s thinking, “are they mad at me?”, “Did I do something to make them mad at me??”
He would do everything possible EXCEPT ask you what was wrong
The both of you walk inside the class and Shoto goes to your seat before you do and pulls out your chair for you
You’re surprised, it’s not like he’s never nice to you (though he doesn’t look it, he’s really nice) but you are perfectly capable of doing menial tasks for yourself
So you never expected him to do that, but you appreciated it nevertheless
“Oh, thanks Sho!”
His eyebrows crease
He hums in affirmation and gives a kiss to the top of your head before walking over to his seat
That’s when you know something is wrong
He wasn’t too keen on PDA 
So for him to nonchalantly kiss you on the head in class….was kinda fishy
Shoto can’t concentrate all that well in class now
Poor dude is wracking through his brain as to why you just called him Sho
WHY SHO AND WHY NOT BABY???
And now he’s pouting for the entirety of the class
Every time you look over at him he’s like >:/
ngl it’s really cute
You don’t ask Shoto what’s wrong until lunchtime rolls around
Well
You try to
When the lunch bell rings Shoto is like a man on a mission
He beelines toward you
If you hadn’t known what his quirk you would have thought it was super speed
Iida who?
Some of your classmates look at him weird 
This is just the image I get in my head lolol
Shoto: 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️   
Classmates:🤨
But he gets to you in like .5 seconds and he holds his hand out to you
He doesn’t even say anything to you, so you assume he wants to hold your hand
You place your hand in his but he surprises you when he pulls you into a hug
Thankfully everyone had already filed out of the class or else you would have been a burning bundle of embarrassment 
“Call me baby please.”
His mouth was right next to your ear and you could feel his lips move against it 
Your knees would have surely given out had you not come to a conclusion
You hadn’t called him baby the entire day and he was now clearly perturbed about it
There was one thing you really loved about Shoto, it was pretty easy to fluster him
And you see a perfect opportunity open itself up
Grabbing his face between your hands you pull him away from your ear and smush his cheeks together
“Oh my poor baby, I'm so sorry my baaaaby.”
A blush was quickly creeping its way up his neck
Which only encourages you more
Maybe he shouldn’t have reminded you
“Ok that’s enough….”
“But I haven’t called you baby enough times.”
“I’m going to eat by myself.”
“Wait!”
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Bakugo
You did call Bakugo terms of endearment like babe, sweetheart, and the one you use the most, honey 
Bakugo claimed to dislike your nicknames, but he secretly really liked them
One day you and Bakugo get into a petty argument
I totally feel like you and he would fight over the smallest shit lmao 
And you’re not hanging around his desk before class like you normally do
You’re at Ashido’s desk obviously ignoring him
Which irks him, but that’s fine, he can ignore you too
But he can’t help but eavesdrop on yalls conversation
because Ashido’s desk is very close and totally not because he wants to hear your voice because he already misses it
“Why aren't you at his desk by the way?”
“Hmm, Bakugo’s?”
Oh this catches his immediate attention
He doesn’t even bother hiding his blatant staring at you from across the room
Since the both of you started dating not once have you called him Bakugo
It’s always been your cute gushy nicknames or variations of his first name
Mina already knows what’s up and wants all the details now 
She’s huddling closer to you, almost practically on top of your desk
But you never get to spill tea because the bell is ringing
But i assure you that Bakugou is giving you a hard side eye
Cuz he still needs to focus in class (he’s still a good student!!)
Lunchtime rolls around and he very discreetly walks next to you
“Hey”
You turn to look at him and just smile at him with your stupid cute face
He’s happy you’re not outright ignoring him
But he was at least expecting a, “c’mon Tsuki, i wanna get a good table!”
He brushes his pinkie against yours hoping you’d get the hint and hold his hand but nope
You pick up your pace and he sees you wrap your hands around Ashido’s arm, the both of you now animatedly talking
He would have found it cute if you weren’t hanging off of Ashido
That should be me by justin bieber starts playing
Bakugo is now internally raging inside at the lunch table
You would normally sit next to him but you're sitting across from him in between Sero and Kirishima
Man’s is literally stabbing into his food
everyone is now staring at his dramatic ass 
buy you're the only one who ends up making a comment about it 
"the food is already dead, i don't think you need to do that Bakugo."
he stops murdering his food 
he's had enough
He stands up forms his seat, goes over to a very confused you
Very gently, takes a hold of your wrist and starts dragging you up to the school’s rooftop
You’re questioning him the entire time
When you finally get to the rooftop Bakugo lets go of your wrist and just kind of stares at you
He’s silent for a couple of minutes looking like he’s going through a mental battle
Until he finally says something
Something that you can barely make out because he’s turned his head away from you and is grumbling
You: https://youtu.be/Y_3vk411ALE
“Bakugo what?”
There you go calling him by his last name again
“I said I’m sorry, don’t make me repeat myself!”
“Sorry for what??”
You can’t be serious
“For our argument this morning, the reason you’re calling me by my last name.”
“Oh.”
Oh?
JUST OH??
“I thought you were still mad at me so i wanted to give you space, i forgot about our argument way before school started.”
……
ATTENTION: TWO IDIOTS IN LOVE❗❗❗
Bakugo just sighs
He’s too tired to even get frustrated and just wants your attention
So he pulls you into a hug and buries his face into your neck
“Don’t ever do that again.”
You can practically hear the pout in his voice
“I'm sorry honey, i just wanted to give you space.”
“I don’t care about space.”
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darkcircles4lyfe · 10 months ago
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it's a story about hands (reprise)
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Yeah, okay, today's the day.
I gave my blog that title for a reason, you know, and it has loomed over me for years because the hand motif is absolutely everywhere and you could go on about it forever.
Maybe that's something I'll never actually attempt to do, but this chapter, we reached a breaking point.
Before I continue, I need to give a big, big disclaimer: I do not have a physical disability, so I'm not able to speak about that from the standpoint of representation as a first-hand perspective. I have at least listened to enough disabled people to know that fictional characters who become amputees only to miraculously gain their limbs back is, um, a trope. Disabled people in general being "healed" is a conception we would really prefer to avoid here. Not to call people out, but I don't think we're giving enough space to acknowledge that.
I don’t feel comfortable making the judgement call about what should happen. I’m leaving that open. I also don't want to downplay people's emotional reactions. Honestly, I don't know if I can accurately define the line between acknowledging real pain vs. ableist pity. But I’d like to talk about the possibilities of what could happen. Other characters have definitely gotten permanent disabilities as a result of their hero work, or even just the side effects of their quirk. But, for better or worse, I don't think this case is really about representation. Not that Horikoshi won't do that justice. He might. What I'm saying is that's not his purpose for having Izuku lose his arms. It's meant to be symbolic, so we can explore what it means. The other thing I’m keeping in mind here is that Horikoshi is notorious for playing with our expectations, like, alllllll the time. I mean, just take a few chapters ago for a classic example. Eri appeared at the end, and we all assumed she was about to take some sort of action to save someone with her quirk. Then, immediately following, we were given an explanation for why that wouldn’t be happening. And now it’s clear he wanted to do that “fake out” not just as a silly cliffhanger prank, but specifically so we would know not to suspect that Eri could be the miraculous solution to Izuku’s loss of his arms. Rest assured, there is no easy way out of this.
The expectation at play in this particular instance is an old one. It’s very understated, but its subtext has burned so brightly, you’d be a fool not to notice it. It sits with anticipation like one half of a call and response. Man, I was so certain. Lots of people still are. I was really looking forward to printing the panel where it happened onto a t shirt and wearing it proudly. All the hand motifs in this story radiate thematically from a single moment, the one that started it all for Izuku.
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It raises all kinds of questions about the act of saving, who needs saving, why, what does it mean, what are the dynamics of power, politics, honesty, exploitation, compassion, pity, disdain, sacrifice. Katsuki has dealt with many of these since he first rejected Izuku’s hand. While Izuku was the one who was convinced Katsuki would keep on rejecting him…
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…Katsuki was the one who kept that moment in his mind all these years and eventually came to regret it.
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Katsuki is the one yearning for that hand-hold, the one who has imbued it with so much more weight than it ever originally had. Izuku, in contrast, does not allow himself to dwell on what he wants. To illustrate this difference, we need to look at another piece of foreshadowing:
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Ugh, do y'all remember when lots of folks were complaining about how there never seemed to be actual consequences for Izuku's destructive treatment of his own body? I don't blame them, I was concerned and confused about it too. There were several "fixes" along the way. Recovery Girl healed him, but left a physical reminder. Then he started training to fight with his legs… sometimes. Then he got support items. All of these were unsatisfying non-conclusions because they didn't present Izuku with a lasting enough impression to change in a meaningful way. They didn't address his core, his origin.
Of course, that all changed this chapter. Now it looks like our frustration was inflicted intentionally. With the current context in mind, all of these moments look more sinister, like this day was always gonna come because they kept putting bandaids on a deep emotional and psychological wound. The problem is pretty much spelled out for us here:
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As Katsuki put it, he just doesn’t take himself into account, ya know? He doesn’t care what happens to him. And he lies about it, to keep others from worrying, to keep them safe. To keep them from returning the favor and putting themselves in harm’s way for his sake. His motivations are noble,
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…but what about the little boy inside Izuku? Who saves him?
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This is all about Izuku giving himself up to the point that he literally has no more to give. The thing is, I bet he saw this coming. He knew his limits and decided to keep going anyway, because his personal safety and wellbeing are not important. Now that way of thinking has come back to bite him because the fight isn’t over yet, and he’s already made his sacrifice. So now we know who will be more distraught over this. Not Izuku—Katsuki.
It’s not about Izuku becoming disabled, it’s about how Katsuki wanted to use the intertwining of their fingers to communicate that he would never let go. Never stop valuing him most. Never let himself make the mistake of rejecting him again. Never let Izuku be so reckless with his life. To say: “we are in this together.”…if only Katsuki believed he deserved to be able to say such things. To reach out his hand would have been the ultimate way to simply imply them and let Izuku be the one to decide. Then, to feel their hands clasped together would be more than either of them dared hope for, but so beautiful, so right. A moment they’ve waited their whole lives for.
Yeah. That’s what we were expecting. We’ve been so comfortable. Horikoshi gave us all the signs. He tempted and teased us over and over. BUT. You know he does this thing were he gives us a desirable, completely plausible and simple thing to look forward to, and then he snatches it away. And THEN he replaces it with something much better, something we were not expecting at all because it seemed too good to be true. That’s exactly what happened when Himiko snatched Izuku away, and we were robbed of the chance to see him and Katsuki fight together. In hindsight, though, I’m glad things went a different way because now there’s so much more depth and angst on display. Likewise, in the present moment, we may consider how, as one door closes, another opens.
As wonderfully meaningful as the hand-hold would have been, perhaps it is still too simple a resolution for Izuku, for his and Katsuki’s relationship. Tbh, it could have been done like 100 chapter ago. At this point, there’s so much more potential. There are a couple of ways it could go. If Izuku stays armless, Katsuki will be forced to use other methods to get his point across. He’ll have to do something else, or say what he means, or both. Yes, I’m talking about what you think I’m talking about. If I say it, I just might jinx it (lol), but I mean it. I’m being serious. Either way, if Izuku did get his arms back in the end, I’m sure that it wouldn’t be an easy fix. It would be hard-won against Izuku’s self-destructive mindset, and/or by Katsuki’s conviction. Again, I say this knowing it is not meant so much as a representation of disability, but as a representation of Izuku’s greatest character flaw taken to the extreme. I know this might sound harsh, like, hasn’t he been through enough? I get that, but… I’ve said it before and I say it again: Izuku is stubborn as hell.
I wish I had a resounding final note to end this on, but I kinda don’t. I’m not sure what’s best. Now we just have to wait and see what Horikoshi has in mind.
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felassan · 7 months ago
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From Game Informer:
Solas plays an important role in the game as a central figure and significant character, but the game is not about Solas, hence the title change
Rather than focusing on a specific individual, the focus and centerpiece of the game is Rook's team, stopping the end of the world with this group of specialists
"I think you could argue [these companions] are the best the franchise has ever seen". We will have the opportunity to interact with them in a way that both shapes their story and also influences the main story, including having the opportunity to impact their fate
"Arguably, this game has kind of, in a way, been called Dreadwolf to some degree since its earlier days"
Excerpt:
"When I ask about Solas' role in the story after I learn his namesake is no longer in the game title, Darrah says Veilguard is still taking the Elven God's narrative in a good direction. He adds, "It allows us to, hopefully, give a good conclusion to all the varied attitudes toward Solas that are going to be coming from people who love Solas, who agree with Solas, who hate Solas, people who want to kick Solas off of a building – I think that we give you the opportunity to bring that to a close, but then tell a greater story about The Veilguard and about the world as a whole." Talking to Epler, I learn more about how Solas isn't exactly the big bad I expected before seeing the opening hours of Veilguard. There's a lot more nuance to everyone's favorite bald elf.  "The most interesting villains to myself, and honestly most people, are not just straight up, 'I want to end the world.' To them, they are the heroes of the story, and Solas is no exception," Epler tells me. "Solas always feels that he is a tragic hero but a hero nonetheless, so he's coming into this believing firmly that what he did, that which you stopped him from doing, was the right thing – that you made a mistake. But now he's trapped and can't reach out and actively affect [Thedas], so he needs to work with you. "That allows us to provide a lot of nuance to that relationship," Epler says."
Solas is literally trapped in the Fade after the game's prologue. Rook and co stop his attempt to destroy the Veil. Rook passes out and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to Solas' voice. He explains that he was trying to move Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain to a new prison because the old one wasn't containing them properly anymore. The two blighted gods are now free and roaming Thedas. Rook has to stop them, but it seems that they will have to work with Solas ("or at least listen to his guidance and advice") to do so
Excerpt:
""So one of the principles we took to when we were building the story of The Veilguard early on was we wanted the beginning of the game to feel like the final chapter of an earlier story and you're coming in right at the end, you're coming in as if you've been chasing Solas – the [Solas at the end of Dragon Age: Inquisition's Trespasser DLC] who said he was going to end the world and tear down the Veil," Epler adds.  Epler says players will see early on (and as the narrative develops across Veilguard) that Solas sees much of himself in you, the player-controlled Rook, especially "the parts that maybe he doesn't like to face." As a result, there's an interesting push and pull between Solas and Rook. He says players can define the relationship between these two characters with their choices in dialogue.  "You can continue to be suspicious and hostile towards him, or you can start to see him and find that common ground, that connection between the two of you, and really develop a different relationship over the course of the story," Epler says."
[source]
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Poor Things
First of all, Emma Stone’s performance is as good as everybody is saying. Stone takes a very difficult role that easily could have gone very, very wrong and makes it look like the most effortless thing in the world.
I have been looking at the reviews, good and bad, and I think that the minority of people who didn’t vibe with this movie had slightly skewed expectations.
Poor Things starts out at Tetsuo The Iron Man levels of fucked up, but by the end it has dropped to Edward Scissor hands levels of fucked up. This is probably plenty of weirdness for the average movie-goer, but true connoisseurs of mondo cinema should calibrate their expectations.
Second, apparently this is being talked up as a sort of feminist coming of age fable chronicling an everywoman’s sexual awakening and liberation, and it really isn’t that, and I think if you are hoping for that you’ll come away disappointed.
Better, I think, to look at it as an autistic coming of age fable and power fantasy, which I think it does a tremendous job at.
Very minor spoilers under the cut; really, this is more an essay about what I thought the film was about than a review, my review would be that it's somehow simultaneously a feel-good crowd-pleaser AND a movie where an adult woman with the brain of a toddler stabs the eyes out of a corpse with a scalpel and then plays with its penis (I wasn't kidding with the Tetsuo comparison)
Honestly now that I've actually written that out I have maybe underestimated how impressive it is that Yorgos Lanthimos made a movie where that happens on screen but somehow basically everybody loves the movie.
In terms of sex, we do watch Bella discover sex, but she very quickly comes to a conclusion about her relationship with it which never once changes throughout the rest of the movie:
She likes it, she likes it more with an attractive partner, she is utterly lacking in any kind of sexual jealousy, and she doesn't attach too much more to it than that.
This is an odd comparison, but Bella treats sex the way Joey did on Friends. A man acting this way is a sitcom cliche, but a woman acting the same way…
This is a film that is really, really not interested in the real-world consequences of this kind of sex; in fact, given that a pregnancy is the inciting incident of the film, it came off a little weird to me that the possibility of a pregnancy or STD was never really addressed (unless there was a line or two that I missed while I was in the bathroom).
For the most part, though, I was able to get past it by just thinking of it as a heightened world. The sets and settings are extremely artificial, and ultimately I figured, “Hey, if I can buy this kind of thing as harmless and fun in a sitcom, I can buy it in this other kind of heightened reality.
I will say, I don't think Bella is meant to be an every-woman, and that there's textual support for this in the film itself.
All of the women Bella deals with in some way question her approach to sex, making it clear, sometimes through explicit dialog, other times more reading between the lines, that her approach to sex is not for them.
If there’s any particularly feminist message in the film, it’s that when confronted with Bella’s bizarre approach to the world, none of the women get angry at her, and most of the men she meets do.
But Bella’s relationships with other women aren’t really the meat of the film, that’s more about her relationship with men, and particularly the way that they feel, deep in their bones, that they should have control over any woman that they have sex with.
Duncan Wedderburn, when he first discovers Bella and convinces her to go away with him, thinks he is tricking and seducing a beautiful naif who he can use and then discard when he tires of her. Their relationship disintegrates as it becomes clear that Bella hasn’t been tricked at all; she wanted exactly what he was able to give, a chance to sow her wild oats by having some no strings attached sex with an attractive, likable person in an exciting foreign city.
This makes Wedderburn increasingly unhappy and unhinged (He says at one point that he has become what he hates, a “grasping succubus”) much to Bella’s growing consternation. She has no idea why he can’t simply be happy having sex with her and otherwise letting her do what she wants, and he is so committed to a certain vision of gender roles that he can’t even begin to explain it, he can only lash out in frustration.
And that I think is the meatier part of the film; Bella doesn’t so much flout social expectations as she is simply totally unaware that they exist. 
Honestly I think the character isn’t so much coded as autistic as she just is autistic. Bella is a woman who is basically totally unaware of social expectations and constantly taken aback to discover that they exist.
More than that, she has to figure out a way to work around the fact that many of the people who become most enraged by her are also so totally lacking in self-reflection, and view their social situation as so normal, so self-evidently obvious that they cannot explain to her why it is she has made them angry. They suddenly fly into rages that clearly perplex Bella and which they themselves don’t even bother to explain, because they regard their own ideas as self-evident.
Bella is an idealized autistic hero; personally as outlandish as she is I don’t really think the film expects us to take the side of anybody else, and I think there are some fairly subtle and accurate bits of autistic behavior on her part.
She responds to life as a kind of social experiment, attempting to parse out a set of logical rules and, especially in the latter parts of the movie, she often justifies her actions with a perfectly sensible internal logic that the emotional men in her life can’t parse out. Late in the film, when she and Wedderburn are destitute, she prostitutes herself for 30 francs, and with implacable logic, explains the two reasons that Wedderburn ought to be quite happy she has done so: First, her john was much worse at sex than Wedderburn, which ought to satisfy his ego, and second, they now have 30 francs and the potential to earn more.
Wedderburn does not appreciate her logical approach.
Another thing that strikes me as very true is that Bella has a very odd theory of mind for other people. There’s a scene where, traumatized by the unspeakable poverty and suffering she sees in Alexandria, she puts all of Wedderburn’s money in a box and rushes out to give it to the poor. Unfortunately the ship is leaving, but two port attendants tell her that they will be staying on the island, and would be happy to deliver a package. She tells them that she has a big box filled with money and they should give it to the island’s poor, and they agree to do so. Now, the film never tells us one way or another whether they keep their word; but Bella herself retains an iron certainty that they did exactly what she asked them to. Now, we know Bella understands what lying and deceit are, because we’ve seen her trick people before, like when she chloroforms McCandles to run away with Wedderburn. But it never once occurs to her that these sailors might do something similar. Call it paradoxical, but that kind of thinking is common in autistic people.
There’s also the scene where the self-professed cynic Harry Astley shows her the suffering in Alexandria; he admits, when he sees how terribly it has affected her, that he didn’t tell her simply because he thought it was the truth of the world, but that her attitude made him angry, and he wanted to hurt her. A very common part of the autistic coming of age is the slow realization that not everything people tell you is part of a dispassionate, scientific search for the truth.
There’s also a scene in a whorehouse in which Bella argues that it would make more sense to have the women decide who is to sleep with the johns, so that then the john could be more confident that the girl was attracted to him, which he must doubt if he chooses. You can tell I’m autistic because I immediately had the thought, “Well, but the johns would probably be worried that nobody would choose them.”
One of Bella’s fellow working girls instead tells her, “Some of them like the fact that we don’t have a choice”.
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rrhodes25 · 25 days ago
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Okay so I have more thoughts on the Ithaca Saga, about Athena & Odysseus' relationship, and how it ends.
Spoilers ahead, for those who have not listened
This all came to me when I was listening to I Can't Help But Wonder. I couldn't stop thinking about what I kinda saw before as an offhanded phrase from Warrior of the Mind.
"Sounds like a plan, goddess and man, bestest of friends!"
"We'll see how it ends."
At the time, I thought this was just characterization for Athena. She's a goddess, she's very professional, and like the other gods we see she is somewhat dismissive of mortals and their emotions.
But we've seen how it ends now. The relationship is fractured beyond repair. There isn't resentment anymore, and Athena is the one reaching out to Odysseus, similar to how she did in Warrior of the Mind but not for the purpose of shaping him, not with the same professional tone. Athena has changed a lot, and is reaching out with compassion, with empathy, with care. She wants to be friends again.
But Odysseus changed a lot too.
He's exhausted. He has fought tooth and nail for decades to get home. He's been beaten, bruised, tortured without end. And Athena abandoned him so early in his journey. She wasn't there to help, to support. She didn't even watch it happen as it happened, she caught herself up after the fact in Love in Paradise. Athena did a lot that Odysseus didn't see, like take a lightning bolt to get him off Calypso's island, but even if Odysseus knew that I don't think it would be enough.
Odysseus is done with the fighting. He is done with the pain, the work, the strife. He's done with the gods. And that includes Athena. He just can't do it anymore.
When Athena said "We'll see how it ends." She thought she would be the one to end this. But she's wrong. Odysseus doesn't have the energy to repair the shattered relationship. He finally has control over his life again, and that life doesn't fit Athena.
I didn't do a ton of theorizing about what would happen in the final saga, with the exception of one thing. I thought Athena was going to be far more present. From what I understand about the Odyssey, which I have not read in its entirety but have had to read several sections of it for classwork, and I've sought out different summaries and discussions about it out of curiosity, Athena is very involved in the ending. So, that's sort of what I expected to happen in Epic. I knew Penelope and the Suitors would get their own songs before Odysseus would start killing people, but I figured that Odysseus, Telemachus, and Athena would get their own number somewhere in between Penelope's song and when Odysseus starts his murder-spree. I didn't know how the relationship would end, but I had figured that there would be some kind of reconciliation, and then the murdering would have a little bit more of a vibe like Little Wolf, albeit far darker.
None of this is to say I dislike where Jorge decided to take the final saga, I think it is deeply interesting and absolutely crushing how he decided to handle it. Honestly all this yapping hardly has a real thesis or point, I just wanted to get the thoughts out of my head.
I suppose the closest thing to an conclusion I can draw from this is that Jorge completely subverted my expectations, and crushed my soul in the process.
10/10, wouldn't change a thing.
If anyone has additional thoughts, feel free to share. I'm always open to folks more articulate than me weighing in.
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absolutebl · 7 months ago
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This Week in BL - Thailand is back in charge
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
June 2024 Week 2
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 7 of 12 - There is so much to love about this pair. But one of the things I truly adore is what great communicators they are about what they want & need as friends & as lovers. As boyfriends? Not so much. But the way they can (and do and did) communicate speaks well to their ability to communicate in the future, once they have resolved the inevitable doom the BL gods will reign down upon us over the next 3-4 eps. I guess what I am say is... these two are gonna be awesome husbands.
The break up was sad but inevitable.
Yay for a crying kiss. I do so love a crying kiss! 
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Can we talk about the fact that all that tension was worth it?
Excellent kiss all round from GreatInn. Possibly one of the best of the year. Their only issue in winning this category in 2024 is that they're up against OffGun, TayNew, and JimmySea, not to mention BillyBabe... and MosBank coming soon. But I gotta say, for a new pair? Fantastic work boys.
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My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I literally spent this whole show saying “Oh, Poor Joe!” Which is now the actual name of his character: Poor Joe. He's like the country music sad sack. How much is this narrative gonna keep kicking him while he's down?  
Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Star Hunter + MosBank + a beloved familiar face? You ready? Let's go. I got a lot to say.
Unexpected supernatural historical paranormal mythological Sign-esk elements happening in our dream sequence opening. I’m not mad about it. But I do think it’s going to be mishandled in the dubious hands of Star Hunter. My BLabies, no matter what else, with Star Hunter we can rest assured there will be chaos and narrative mess. And now, lucky us, there will be a supernatural mess. But at least it will be sexy and high heat.
Honestly, I'm not worried about MosBank and I know what to expect from Star Hunter,. So we're all on the same page.
Meanwhile, enter a cute side couple (normal for this studio). WAIT a second I know that face! That's Tenon of PitchBank fame (side couple, and only good thing about, Golden Blood). I’m sad to see his pair busted, but delighted to see him pop up again in a BL.
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Tenon appreciation time: He kisses beautifully everyone, and he is a killer eye-emoter. We are in for a real treat with this actor. (Especially if we get to a place in the narrative where he pines. OH PLEASE MAKE HIM PINE.)
Okay back to the show. I love Tenon but I also LOVE his infiltrating, wicked smart, younger brother character. This role is great for him. I adore an industrial spy. I enjoy a rich boy pretending to be an intern in his family's company (yes it's a trope, just not common in BL). Excellent work Thailand. No notes.
In conclusion?
It’s a cheesy silly office BL and I am enjoying it immensely because I have no expectations. So don't burst my bubble. Star Hunter is bound to do that on its own without tumblr's help.
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We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 11 of 16 - Oh my God they are all so cute! I love the beginning bit when Peem was feeling down and Phum tried to cheer him up. Ridiculously charming. All the sides were super adorbs too. The actual name of this show is "We Are Cute". Meanwhile, Kluen = the only boy in a BL ever to take his unfinished drink with him? I like him even more now. 
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My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - New take on the umbrella trope to be trapped under a parasol together. NO SINGING. Honestly? I am not loving this as much as I really wanted to love it. It's the middle of the rankings for good reason. I do like the idea of historical Cinderfella BL though. Why isn't that what I'm watching? The play with in a play is a dangerous trope to deploy, it only distracts my with attractive possibilities. 
Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - I'm gonna try to cycle back to ending this rap-up week on Saturdays, which means the recap for this episode will be in next week's weekly (so to speak). Meanwhile, I am doing a Trash watch on this show. Hopefully that will get updated tomorrow.
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Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - It’s fun enough. Kind of a pulpy lark. Best + Seng = a surprisingly good match.
Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - Good kiss from the sides. No surprises there. The main’s kissing was fine too, I guess. I like that they had a genuine struggle with being an idol and not being able to date. It’s nice to see that depicted on screen in a BL. I wish we had a bit more of a montage around the rise & success of Moo's boy group. But I understand the money in play for this kind of show prohibits that. All in all? It’s fine. 
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Oof. This ep was painful. So much awkward desperation and confusion. Oh Japan, must you?
Crazy to be in a place and time where there is no other noted non-Thai BLs airing. Not even from Korea. What is going on? Are we in 2020 all over again? Please no.
It's airing but...
The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.
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OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I can't find it. Comments from last week suggest this is not my thing anyway, but Lee Long Shi very much IS my thing. I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down. Also, who knew Frank & Big could kiss like that? Not me.
ARGH could Monster Next Door please just start airing. I am SO tired of waiting for Big to lead out a BL. It should have happened years ago. *grumbles in chronic second lead syndrome*
In case you missed it
Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continues the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 ans was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.
The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.
As others see us: NuNew's 'Awful' Performance in BABYMONSTER's 'SHEESH' Goes Viral - I don't like BL being noticed by Kpop stans. I flipping LOATHE this song and I'm not wild about Babym. This is all 'round uncomfortable making and I want it to stop.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
June Releases Still Coming
6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).
6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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Forget "boyfriends but they don't realize it." These two are married but they don't realize it.
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Praise be, he didn't leave his full drink behind. BEST BOY.
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It was a great make out sesh.
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THAT LIP BITE.
All round excellent ep this week, We Are Cuties.
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Top tier flirting banker from the fuck buddies though. Man, their innuendo is on point. And I do mean that point. (Wandee Goodday)
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity
@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.
There's these tricks, remember.
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yumeka-sxf · 9 months ago
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I try to stay away from negative topics, but after hearing talk on social media yesterday and seeing this post from @such-a-downer, I just had to give my two cents about the complaints regarding yesterday's chapter being "another short mission" and that Endo is somehow being "lazy" or whatever.
I honestly don't understand this mentality of criticizing manga-ka, or any artists really, because they aren't delivering by whatever standards you personally think are appropriate. To me, it just seems like entitlement because Endo has no obligation to cater to any specific fan's wants. This is his story to tell the way he wants, and his characters to develop at the pace he deems fit. This isn't a business contract where we're paying him to deliver content we want every two weeks without fail. If I'm consuming the fruits of someone's creative labor for free, I certainly feel no right to complain if sometimes their content isn't what I wanted or expected. I'm fine with that because 1) I know it's what they (the creator) wanted/needed at the time, and 2) even if a particular chapter wasn't my cup of tea, I know other fellow fans out there somewhere are enjoying the heck out of it, and that's cool!
We also have to remember that SxF is basically a one-man show. If Endo is busy or sick or whatever, it's not like he can have someone fill in for him to write and draw the series. That's what a hiatus is for, that's what making a short chapter instead of a longer one is for...that's how artists should be treated so they don't get burned out and stressed. Plus, art shouldn't be rushed. Any artist knows that there are times when you have trouble coming up with ideas and maybe need a little extra time to develop a more complex section of the story. To immediately jump to conclusions that he's lazy or doesn't know what he's doing is ridiculous. Maybe he didn't feel good for a few days, maybe he's been busy with other SxF events, maybe he just needed more time to get a particular future arc developed, or maybe he just has basic IRL obligations to take care of like we all do...you don't know what's going on in his life, so don't make assumptions.
Another thing to keep in mind is that it's literally impossible to please every fan. One of the comments I read for example, someone was ready to drop the series because we haven't seen much of Yor in "a while." All I could think of was "didn't she just have a pretty big role only four chapters ago when they went to the ski resort?" Plus she was the star of chapter 91, which was less than ten chapters ago. So according to this person's standards, four chapters without seeing a particular character is "too long"? What if it was only three chapters, would that be acceptable? It's not right to push our own personal standards of a series' pacing as the "correct" way: some people want to see more of character X while someone else wants to see more of subplot Y, so should both complain that the manga-ka isn't doing right whenever they focus on something else? I'm not saying you shouldn't make criticisms of a manga-ka's work, but the criticisms should come from within the narrative itself, not superficial things like chapters focusing on subplots/characters you don't want to see or not having enough "plot-advancing" content when it's not a plot-focused series.
People who have read SxF up to this point should know the general flow of the chapters: mostly slice-of-life episodic, with more plot-heavy, intense arcs once in a while, like the cruise arc and bus arc. It's an ensemble series that spends most of its chapters focused on at least one of the Forgers, but occasionally other characters here and there. That's how the series has been for years and will likely continue to be. So if you keep complaining because you only like the dramatic story arcs and not the "nothing happens" episodic chapters, then maybe the series just isn't for you. It's totally fine if that's the case, but don't act like Endo is doing something wrong because he's not providing the particular thing you want in his story.
To summarize, Endo has no obligation to cater to particular fans' standards, just as we have no obligation to keep reading his work if we don't like it. But being a fan to me means respecting the creator's pace and vision even if it's not always what I personally want. I can find something to enjoy in every chapter because I'm a fan of SxF, not a fan of one particular aspect of it. But I also will not complain every time my tastes aren't being catered to and will simply occupy myself with other things while I wait. What's the big hurry, after all? I'm in no rush for SxF to wrap up its plot and I'm glad Endo isn't rushing either.
And that's all I'm gonna say about this topic, lol. On a happier note, I'm going to finally see Code White on Thursday! 😁 More to come later~
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lilacwrite · 1 year ago
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Stream theory! time:
I am here to write my thoughts about the Neuvillette part of the stream/trailer, feel free to share yours too!
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"The Melusines can't be trusted! That goes for Neuvillette too!"
So, first I have to say I'm heartbroken to hear that the Melusines and Neuvillette can't be trusted, but idc idc i trust them no matter what. And the Melusines saying: "I'm confident that we'll find the meaning of our existence one day" truly broke my heart.
To keep going with the Neuvillette angst we have The Chief of Justice himself saying: "I find it difficult to express my emotions, because I cannot fully understand myself" The struggle to deal with accusations from your own people that they don't trust you while being unable to show them how you really feel... and to add to that whatever rumours saying that u were born from calamity?? I'm so confused and sooo hyped to get the full lore.
'is this what justice means to u? answer me neuvillette!'
First, let me point out THE VOICE ACTING FOR THIS LINE IS CHEF KISS. It sends shivers down my spine every time I hear it. And every time I hear it I'm thinking, what verdict did Neuvillette come to for Wrio to deliver such a powerful line? Maybe it's about Lyney and Lynette? Because we hear Freminet asking Wrio about his siblings and I'm thinking that maybe Wrio goes and demands an explanation from Neuvillette?
"You will see much in the human world, from the delightful to the depressing and one day, when you have dwelt among humanity long enough, you will be placed to bring judgement over all, as the spokesperson for Fontaine's past"
Can't move on from this line without pointing out the informal addressing here. No Monsieur or anything. Straight up Neuvillette. I'm curious to see how close the characters are and why does Wrio sounds so hurt/betrayed.
edit: a lot of people told me the voice line is from an npc but im too tired to delete everything👍
THIS??? raised so many questions in my head it's crazy. it's unnecessary. The hold this last line has on me is absurd. I think it's directly addressed to Neuvillette and I'm curious why is he the one bringing judgement over all? why is he the one shown all alone in a grey and dull Fontaine?why not Furina? What does "spokesperson for Fontaine's past" suppose to mean??Like we already speculated about him being the Hydro Dragon, but this is *sniff* i smell GREAT storyline.
Genshin is about to drop heeeeavy lore and I'm here for it.
"its unnecessary to hold me in such high regard"
Last line in the trailer. Neuvillette said this right after being shown as one of the most powerful people in the whole nation really. He is either really modest or just tries to hide the fact that he's the most powerful in the nation. Or both. Honestly I'm not even sure of what to say about this, I just had to add it here because Neuvillette said it and I'm in whoo for him.
Him🤝Zhongli , fancy talking and acting like they don't have supreme power.
Last thought: this trailer was so powerful and sad over all. I'm expecting the archon quest to be an emotional rollercoaster with one or two emotional punches. I just know Neuvillette story will make me sob. Just look at him.
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p.s. : I saw someone pointing out that the creators said that Neuvillette made a law so that the Melusines to be addressed as she/her and that fills my heart with joy. Neuvillette is shown to be oh so powerful and 'born from calamity' or whatever and yet he's one of the sweetest and kindest characters. 🫶🏼
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Conclusion: i love neuvillette and idc about false accusations 😊🫶🏼
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sleepymoonlady · 2 months ago
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Roevember Day 19: Temper
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"This must be important business indeed. Though if it concerns anything so underhand as an assassination, I fear I can be of little help."
Even as the negotiations were well underway, Rose still repeated Lolorito's glib little jab to herself over and over again, gritting her teeth all the while. It had been two years since that fateful night--the Bloody Banquet, in all its infamy. Two years since the Scions were disgraced and very nearly wiped out, all unwitting and unwilling pawns in a game of chess played by two warring factions of Ul'dah's Syndicate.
She had accepted--bitterly--that Lolorito's bargain was better for the stability of Ul'dah than the vengeance she had been craving since that night. Well, that wasn't entirely true: she had accepted that Raubahn, Alphinaud, and Nanamo all arrived at that conclusion. And out of respect for the wishes of her friends and closest allies, she stood down. But it never sat right with her. Even after he--through Hancock--furnished the Scions' efforts in Othard with a base of operations and more gil than they could spend. Even after Nanamo had come to Rose and told her that they needed his help, for the sake of Ala Mhigo and Ul'dah both. Rose was a woman of many talents, but neither forgiving nor forgetting were chief among them.
Ever since she was a child--even before she lied about her age to debut as a gladiator on the Bloodsands--she had been a person of action. She loathed passivity, couldn't stand to sit by and watch, and had never been good at forgiving--or at forgetting. She solved her problems, more often than not, by beating them into submission. But the problem of Lolorito--that opportunistic little shite--was off-limits. NOBODY should be above justice. But somehow, he kept managing to be just that. Even Thordan and his lackeys weren't.
She needed something. Anything. Some kind of closure. So when the meeting came to a close, she said she needed to speak with him in private. She concocted some kind of lie that felt right in the moment--damn if she remembered what it was. Something about discussing further contributions to the East Aldenard Trading Company no doubt. As Nanamo left the room, Rose kneeled down to be... closer to Lolorito's eye-level, at least. The man turned on his stool to face her.
"I must admit, champion, I'm curious to hear your idea," he said, with that smug half-smile that never seemed to leave his face--or his voice. "I didn't think you had much of a mind for business." Rose felt the anger that had been festering in her chest rising--gods, how did she expect to talk to this little fucker? She had forgotten how infuriating it was--he spoke at you, not to you. You were never his bloody equal. Did he even know that she had helped run her mums' shop growing up? That she had to learn arithmetic just to help them make ends meet? Not much of a mind for business, indeed. If fuckers like him weren't so greedy, maybe things would have been less tight growing up--THEN she wouldn't need a "mind for business."
"Honestly I rather thought it was too complicated a topic--"
Lolorito's next backhanded observation was ended--rather abruptly, too--by Rose's gauntleted fist crashing into his jaw with a sickening crack, sending him flying off the stool and across the room. Before she knew what she was doing--before she could even consider the consequences--she bounded over the table and pinned him to the ground with her left arm, before raising her right in preparation for another blow.
"I am SICK and BLOODY TIRED of this GODS-DAMNED CHARADE, LOLORITO," she snarled through gritted teeth.
"Have you LOST your MIND?" Came the retort from the merchant, spoken laboriously through a broken jaw. "Have you not thought of the CONSEQUENCES of assaulting a member of the Syndicate!? I'll have you--"
"SHUT UP!" Rose punctuated her demand with a raise of her fist. Her mind spun as she stared down Lolorito. This man KNEW what was going to happen that night. He could have stopped it, showed his hand earlier, anything. But he didn't. He didn't. Did he have ANY idea what he did? What that night had cost!?
Thancred couldn't use magic anymore.
Shtola lost her sight.
Min...
Rose's fist began to shake as she remembered. As she turned the sentence over and over again in her head, still afraid to say it to herself after all this time.
Why her? Why couldn't it have been someone else?
Why not HIM?
Shakily, she finally spoke again. "Her Grace has decided that you're better off to her--to us--alive, Lolorito. Out of respect for her, I've kept my peace all this time."
"But make no mistake, you miserable little shite:" As Rose spoke these next words, the fury in her voice could have shattered stone, and the hatred in her eyes--a hatred only the likes of Gaius, Thordan, or Zenos had seen before--shone brightly enough to melt through steel.
"The second you outlive your usefulness to her? The bloody MOMENT I even BEGIN to suspect that you're harboring any foolish delusions beyond your station?
I will personally deliver you to Thal."
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Hi hey if you made it all the way here uhhhh have a funny:
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