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symphonicmetal101 · 4 years

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Wishlist For Someone Special

Ok, so I'm feeling really sappy and just a little lonely. All my friends are boring and my family members are too young for me to take to do some stuff.

This is kind of a wishlist of things I wish I had someone to do with or look forward to doing eventually...not necessarily romantic, but I wouldn't mind if it was. (broskis, I ain't never been on a date, not even, like, a platonic one, so bear with me if it seems ridiculous)

Stargazing- lying on a blanket in an open field or in the bed of a truck, just watching the stars, pointing out constellations, and making up stories

Watching the Northern Lights- bundling up in our warmest winter clothing, grabbing a couple campchairs and hot chocolate as we watch them dance and flicker.

Laser Tag- sneaking around, just trying to one up each other, or being on the same team and still- try to one up each other😂

Paintball- a little more painful than laser tag, but still fun. Checking up on each other afterwards to make sure there aren't any really bad bruises

Graffiti- I've always liked the way it looks. I would love for someone to teach me, or for us to learn together in one of those public graffiti houses

A Willow Tree- I would love to find a weeping willow tree and climb it's branches, only to sit and read there with my loved one enjoying their company.

Just Drive- just take a roadtrip with someone I love, blasting music, laughing, singing, and snacking as we blaze down the roads. It doesn't have to be long.

Visit an Animal Sanctuary/Reserve- I find animals fascinating, but also find that sanctuaries and reserves are more educational and often more humane than zoos.

Volunteer at the Food Bank or SPCA- just general acts of service. They make me happy.

Pillow Fortress- I didn't really get to make blanket forts when I was younger, so I want to try doing something even bigger! I want to convert the couch into a cuddle palace.

Spontaneous Dancing- idk man, it just makes me really happy. My dad used to twirl and dip me when I was little, so that's probably where it started.

Cooking/Baking Together- so what if we make a bit of a mess? So what if we screw up the recipe? It doesn't matter, it was time well spent.

Cleaning Together- Growing up as an only child for ten years and then becoming the oldest means I've done chores alone for a long time. I want someone's company, maybe we'll talk, maybe we'll work in comfortable silence, or maybe we'll blast music. I don't care. I would be happy just to know I wasn't alone.

Learning One of Their Hobbies- I want to learn something they know!! Please, let me understand a little better, I just need them to be patient with me.

Forest Walks- especially in Fall. I want to walk down an old trail, listen to leaves crunch under our feet as more fall from above I want the blustery weather to give us rosy cheeks and noses by the time our walk is over.

Horseback Riding- I've done it before, but I would love to bring someone with me. You have more experience? Great! I love to see that confidence in you. You've done it a couple times? Yay, we're in the same boat! Never done it at all? That's ok! I'll do what I can to help you!

Outdoor Movie Night- we don't have drive- in theaters anywhere nearby, but give me a sheet, campchairs, and a projector? I've got us.

Indoor Movie Night- let's bundle up and cuddle together while we watch a new movie. Or maybe it's a classic. Idc.

Try New Food- let's go somewhere for lunch and pick something completely foreign...(I am not eating guinea pig again though, thanks.)

The Wharf- if one of us happens to live by the ocean, we'll be frequent visitors. Not necessarily the beach, bit on wooden planks where the salty sea air still reaches you. We can watch the boats come and go. (Fisherman's Wharf in B.C Canada is fun. There's a really good Mexican food place😂 There's a blind seal named Sammy that lives there, and you can buy a bucket of fish to feed him. Be careful though, seagulls are vicious, being pecked by one sucks...yes, I needed a bandaid and my finger was sore for a long time. Idk if it's still like that, it's been a while. Sorry, just reminiscing a bit.)

Painting- let's buy a couple canvases and paint and see what we can do! It doesn't have to resemble anything, just do what feels like you.

Splatter Painting- dear god I've wanted to try this for so long. Just full on globs of paint and flicking it towards the canvas. (I was never allowed to do it because it was seen as a waste of paint. I couldn't even do it with an old toothbrush on a small canvas😑)

Video Games!- Please teach me how to play! Video games are banned in my family. I mean, I've done Just Dance, but that's about it. Mobile games have been kept a secret...basically just teach me to play and don't make me feel bad about playing, and I'll love you forever, mkay?

Ice Cream Date- again, idk. The idea just makes me really happy, whether we're sitting in a small shop, eating and talking. Or maybe we're walking, maybe holding hands, trying to point things out to each other, but our hands are full, but there's no way we're letting go. Or maybe we're sharing a cup of ice cream on a park bench, just people watching.

Thrift Store Outfits- I want to go to a thrift store and pick out the most ridiculous outfits for each other. We don't have to go anywhere, but just humour me when we're alone by wearing whatever I found for you, and vice versa.

Writing- writing a poem, a atory, a quote, or learning calligraphy and just writing their name- I want to write something to you

Books- let's go to the library and choose a book for each other, one that neither of us have read so we can talk and ask questions, come up with theories as we continue to read.

Books pt.2- if you write me a note and give me a book telling me why it's one of your favourites, I'll melt. I'll do the same for you, and soon we'll have a few more things to talk about and enjoy together

Music!- you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to send you music that reminds me of you, and I would be overjoyed to recieve the same.

Music! Pt.2- if you happen to play, sing, or dance, let's make something beautiful together! If not, I'll teach you!

Improv/rp- just making stuff up as we go, not caring if other people hear our conversations.

Trampoline Park/Something Similar- I just want to try it. Don't care if I break my leg, I want to try it. I'll care if you break your leg though.

Plant Shopping- again, idk. Just the idea of choosing a succulent or two to take care of together sounds nice.

Dance Classes- maybe you're already an amazing dancer, I'll let you take the lead. Maybe you just know the basics like me, we can learn together. (I know how to do the basics for, like, salsa, cumbia, bachata, swing, and waltz, that's it. Please teach me more🤩)

Sewing/Knitting/Crocheting/Fabric Work- useful skill! And maybe we can make something for each other. (Spoiler alert: you're getting a pillow case, mask, or a scarf, I can't do much yet😂)

Rage House- let's just let loose! Make a mess! Yell! Doesn't matter, all of it's legit. I just want to destroy stuff.

Weird Cuddles- again, just the idea makes me happy. If you're lying down, I may as well just flop on you, right? Or maybe somehow we end up upside down. Cuddling while we read books or listen to music. Ok so maybe just cuddling but it feels weird because I'm touch-starved👌

Late Night Calls- I've never done this with anyone under happy circumstances. Could you help me change that? It would be nice to have the last thing before I go to sleep be reassurance and happiness.

Calendar/Planning- let's make a calendar together with pictures of the places we want to go one day. Let's talk to each other so we know what we both want and make sure we put it down.

Scuba Diving- this is something I've wanted to do since I was little- actually it was the first job I said I wanted. I don't want to do it as a career anymore, but I would love to try it with you.

Finding Random Things- little things that remind me of you. Maybe I was out and found a heart shaped rock. Or I heard a bird sing and managed to record it. Or maybe there was a cute keychain at the store that reminded me of you. And that would be enough to make me smile.

Ride a Double-Decker Bus- I've done it before, but the excitement that comes with the thought of riding one again makes me giddy. Just being able to see the city and people from a mobile throne😂

Bike Riding- let's explore nearby, just riding together. Maybe you have trails you want to show me. You can lead, I'll follow. Or vice versa. If we get lost at least we can laugh about it later.

Camping- lets share a tent and a campfire together, roasting smores as we laugh and tell each other stories. Maybe we'll try and sing a few songs too.

Punch Buggy- just playing the game properly will make me happy tbh. It's been 8 years of bending the rules😂

Board/Card Games- yes. I will get competitive. But that's half the fun. Also, I would like to play these properly as well lol

Museum Date- maybe somewhere local, or maybe we were driving by and decided to stop, or maybe we actually planned to go. Let's learn something new together, take some pictures.

Comfy- I didn't know what else to call it. Basically, take out, sweat pants, (messy buns), snacks, drinks, and a good show. Bonus if it's storming outside.

Rain- watching it rain, listening tonit rain, going outside and dancing or running in the rain, jumping in puddles- I want to do it all with you.

Little Gestures- little things we develop as we get to know each other, faces that we come to understand, hand movements we start to copy. Idk, I find it really cute.

Ok guys, sorry this isn't what, well, any of us were expecting. I guess this is my Valentine's Day post?? Idk. If you read it, I hope you liked it.

Feel free to put who you thought of in tags or comments, real or fiction. Or add to the list if you want. I would love to know😊 I know there's a lot of "I wants" but that's because for the first time, in a long time, I feel comfortable admitting that.

51. Mutual comfort characters

#obey me #obey me shall we date #not really blog related but oh well #valentines day

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thebiblesalesman · 4 years

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Right now I think there's a missed opportunity to work backwards from the Ayutthaya map and add a larger Thailand map and a Thai hero. I say "work backwards" because usually FFA maps like Necropolis or Kanezaka are based off an existing regular map and reuse assets from that map, but at the moment Ayutthaya is sort of standalone.

So a Thai hero or another hero from a SE Asian country are pretty high on my personal wishlist. I think SE Asia is outside the comfort zone for the US gaming industry, but Blizzard has the resources to pull it off- and they've even mentioned a character from Vietnam! And...he's in Talon... So how about someone who's not in Talon, but aside from that please go for it.

I can tell you from experience that it is not a burden to make a global cast. It is a joy, a learning experience, and an asset to the creative process. And if you take time to actually invite people from the population you are representing into the conversation, you end up with rich, convincing characters for people around the world to find themselves in.

Sometimes it's not a clean split like people from the US identify with the US characters or every Japanese person loves Genji (definitely not true), but authentically conveying someone's country invokes pride and love and familiarity, like Sigma's voiceline about stroopwafels or his spray where he eats salted herring. They also did a good job with Echo, except Echo is a robot so who cares lol.

I'm biased here- Genji is my favorite hero. I spent 3 years making up Shimada lore because I couldn't get enough of it. Yet even with that, I'm not completely sold on another Japanese hero that is part of the Shimada. I don't know that we need another hero to continue telling Genji and Hanzo's story, and my worry is that this person will be another anachronistic "I don't know what a gun is" caricature like the brothers (and like a lot of Japanese characters across all media).

It might be even worse than that. Genji and Hanzo bear a resemblance to a theatric character in kabuki called a hitogami ("man-god"), a warrior who grants possession of their body to a guardian deity. The presence of a dragon spirit connected to an elite family relates to a similar concept called ujigami. Hitogami tend to be protagonists in kabuki, and ujigami is also a positive concept.

But while foxes in Japan can be revered as messengers of the divine, they also have shades of trickery and possession by a fox is associated with witchcraft. There are also stories about foxes transforming into beautiful women and seducing men so that they can cause mischief. From the GameInformer silhouettes article, it seems likely that this new Shimada hero is female, and the "messenger of the divine" from Japanese Inari worship probably translates more to "servant of the Shimada" in Overwatchverse Japan.

So this female character would be a servant or assassin of the Shimada, who probably ran into Genji when he was on his "destroy the Shimada Clan" mission, and whose history is now tied to the brothers instead of being allowed to introduce new ideas.

And that's the real reason I think you'd want to add a new character from the same country- to show us new things about the culture, to explain that not everyone in Japan owns a katana, stuff like that. Sombra's initial concept was a Japanese hero named Omniblade whose theme was street fashion- I think that would be an awesome hero!

And I'm not trying to say you can't have a Japanese female hero associated with foxes. In fact I really like folktales about foxes (try watching the first 12 minutes of Akira Kurosawa's "Dreams", though tw for a suicide mention).

youtube

Rather, in this case it's the combination of factors that are setting off some alarm bells in my head right now. There are even things that aren't even from Blizzard that I think about, like the "Good Hunting" short from Netflix's Love Death + Robots last year, which is about the Chinese hulijing (fox spirit from which the Japanese kitsune inherited a lot of its more negative traits) and contains a ton of misogyny and sexual violence. Basically, I've seen this subject mishandled before.

It's also because I know Blizzard has in the past Google-translated Japanese on Hanzo's skins/the infamous Hanamura map scroll, which suggests to me that there aren't any Japanese people working on these Japanese characters. To be fair I think it's gotten a lot better in recent years- the Tengu skins, for example, are awesome. Hanzo's dance is awesome (I'm a real sucker for anything involving dancing or food). Weirdly enough, although Hanzo's skins have been the butt of jokes, Genji's Oni skin from 2017 not only had appropriate translations but really cool connections to actual figures from Japanese history.

And getting translations and cultural points right is a big deal. People can tell if you're a white person trying to write a Japanese person's story without study or visiting the country. If you have the resources, you absolutely should have cultural consultants and sensitivity readers, or even people from other countries directly on your dev team!

Like I mentioned Sigma, who was developed with the help of Dutch staff, but did you know that this year Blizzard shut down their office in The Hague? It was not a dev office, but if you're shutting down your links to a community, how are you going to make heroes that connect to that community? In a similar vein, the person who added an explicitly SE Asian character to an Overwatch story was of Filipino & Chinese descent herself, but now she's left the company. And Michael Chu, who for better or worse has been considered the face of Overwatch's story, has also left.

I don't know enough about this hero to comment further, but those are my current thoughts. I'm real interested to see the starting line-up for Overwatch 2. At the moment I think this hero, Sojourn, Mauga, and Junkerqueen are guaranteed. It would be cool if they added Asian heroes outside of Japan/China/Korea, but I would still appreciate another MEKA pilot or another Japanese hero too, so long as they are showcasing something different.

#overwatch #curiouscat

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thefaceofroyalty · 6 years

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Gifts you give them

A/N: hey guys! I’ve been absent for about a week and a half because I’ve been reading a 10 book series lol. Anyway, I decided to write this little drabble thing as a way to get back into writing and a promise other updates will follow shortly! Enjoy.

Thor:

Ever since you arrived at the Avengers tower Thor had been your best friend. You weren’t sure why but you and Thor soon became attached at the hip. Maybe it was the fact that he reminded you of a golden retriever, if a golden retriever could shoot lightning out of its paws. Or maybe it was because of how Thor talked about the galaxy. He had seen pretty much everything during his 1,500 years alive. As a prince of Asgard he was expected to know everything about the nine realms and how they were all interconnected. He had vast knowledge of astronomy and that always impressed you. You had always considered yourself an astro nerd and when you discovered Thor’s knowledge on the subject you were thrilled. You would always beg him to tell you about each star and planet and galaxy. You two now had a habit of waiting for really clear nights and going up to the roof of the tower with blankets and watching the stars. You gazed at him in awe as he told stories of his battles and of the peace and how it was kept. He told you how his hammer had been forged from a dying star. Somewhere along the way of him telling you stories, gazing at stars, and the cold nights spent on the roof with blankets and hot chocolate, you started to fall for him. When people began to find out (and they did, it’s hard to keep secrets from the Avengers), they thought you liked Thor just for his looks. I mean, you weren’t blind, he is a god. However, that wasn’t what you liked most about him. You liked his knowledge, his way of making everything so easy to understand, how he got a childlike wonder in his eyes whenever he look at the stars. You knew his birthday was coming up soon and you were racking your brain with what to get him. It had to be the perfect gift, what do you get a prince of Asgard anyway? He probably had everything he could ever want. Bu then, you knew what to do. It took you two weeks and skilled planning of making sure Thor wasn’t in his room. That last part wasn’t hard because he went on a mission with Tony and Steve. The night he was scheduled to get back was the night before his birthday. It was a perfect plan. You had everything finished in his room and you waited for him to get back to the tower. It was around 11:45 when he got back. You went into the kitchen to greet him which ended with am almost bone crushing hug. You two sat at the kitchen island and talked about the mission and what went well. At 11:58 you decided it was time for the surprise. You made Thor promise to close his eyes and you wrapped a bandana around his eyes to make sure he wouldn’t see a thing.

“Y/N, where are you taking me?” Thor asked in amusement as he held his arms outstretched so he wouldn’t bump into any walls.

“You’ll see, just a few more steps” You replied as you opened the door to his room and ushered him inside.

You closed the door behind you and made sure all the lights were turned off before you instructed Thor to take off his blindfold. His jaw dropped as he looked all around his room. You had put glow in the dark stars all around his room. On his ceiling, the walls, even some on the floor. It made it look like space was surrounding him. You painted some familiar constellations on the wall and he marveled at your handiwork.

“Y/N, I don’t understand, this is amazing. Why did you do this?” He implored as he continued to gaze at the ceiling.

“Well, it’s getting kind of cold outside to stargaze, besides someone told me it was your birthday today.” You said with a sly smile on your face.

Thor looked at you and chuckled as he shook his head, “No, my birthday isn’t until tomorrow” he corrected you.

“Think again, your birthday is today” You said triumphantly as you pulled out your phone to show him the time, it read 12:01AM. “Happy Birthday” you said as you held his gaze.

Thor had a darker expression in his eyes as he walked over to you until there was no space left between your bodies. Time stood still as his arm wrapped itself around your waist, bringing you impossibly closer to the god. He used his other hand to lift your chin as he gazed down at your lips. “It is a happy birthday indeed” he said in a voice just above a whisper as he placed the first of many gentle kisses on your lips.

Loki:

You woke up to a text from Stark that you had the Saturday off. Amazing. You couldn’t remember the last time you had the day to yourself. You tried to milk your morning for as long as you could. You stayed in bed, while scrolling through your phone, until 10:30. Then you took the most luxurious and much needed bath of your life. Your muscles were sighing in relief as you massaged them in bath oils. You felt the knots slowly coming undone. You washed your cuts and scrapes from the missions and managed to get all the dirt and muck out of your hair from when you chased a hydra agent and fell down the hill. You chucked a little when a twig came out. You dressed in your favorite day off outfit, athleasure, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. As you left your room you decided to knock on Loki’s door to see if he was off as well. You two were always off together, maybe because Stark had known about your crush on the god, so you figured it was worth a shot. When you knocked you heard a thump.

“Loki, are you okay?” You asked curiously.

No response...weird. You called again “Loki I’m coming in to check on you just letting you know”. You opened the door to his room and almost burst out laughing. Apparently Loki had tried to assemble a book ledge on the wall and while he was putting up some rather heavy books the structure broke and fell on him. You walked over and helped him to his feet.

“This blasted midgardian structure just won’t cooperate,” Loki huffed as he brushed dust off of himself, “This is the third time I’ve tried to assemble it.”

“Well, you could always just put the books back in the library” You offered as a response as you stacked the books and put them on his floor.

“Please, and have everyone reading my notes? Don’t be ridiculous Y/N” he scoffed as he picked up an ancient asgardian looking book.

“Okay, noted. So, before you tackle this book project again, do you wanna grab some coffee with me?” You offered as you walked to the doorway.

“Anything to get my mind off of this.” He said as he followed you to the elevator.

The two of you went to a coffee shop that was right around the corner from the tower. You had to laugh at Loki’s state of dress. He was in a formal all black suit, not that he didn’t look amazing in it, it was just out of place.

“Enjoying the view darling?” Loki asked as you realized you had been caught staring.

You rolled your eyes as you responded, “I was actually thinking how overdressed you are.” You said as you took a seat at a table by the window and flagged down the waiter.

“Well it’s better than whatever this is.” Loki said as he gestured to your outfit. Today you wore black leggings that stopped mid calf, your black running shoes, a purple zip up jacket that hugged you perfectly, and your hair was in a high ponytail.

Before you could reply the waiter came over to take your order. He wasn’t paying much attention to Loki but couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Not that you minded, he was cute and you were sure Loki would be slightly annoyed by the male competition. You smiled as the waiter left to make your drinks.

“He didn’t seem to mind my outfit,” you smirked as you waited for your order.

The waiter came back and dropped off your coffee’s and would’ve stayed longer had it not been for Loki shooting daggers with his eyes. If looks could kill…

Needless to say, you left the coffee shop soon after. On the walk back to the tower you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Loki was actually jealous of someone random waiter at the coffee shop, jealous over you.

On the elevator ride up you decided to try and talk to Loki, “What now? Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

Loki kept his back to you and his eyes trained on the elevator doors. When they opened he turned abruptly and said “I don’t know, why don’t you call that waiter and see what he wants to do”. Then he stormed off to his room and shut the door.

You weren’t sure what to make of that so you just burst into laughter as you walked into your room. You probably should’ve been pissed that he said that but you couldn’t help the laughter that kept escaping your mouth. You went back to your room and decided to do some online shopping to clear your mind. You were in the middle of adding things to your amazon wishlist when and idea came to you. You wanted to get Loki a gift to show him how much he mattered to you. Nobody else. You weren’t exactly amazing at expressing your feelings for a man, much less to the ever so handsome, impossibly charming god of mischief. You ordered the supplies off of Amazon and set out on your plan. Two days later when the gift arrived you prayed that you could talk Loki into leaving his room just for an hour. You convinced him to read in the library with you today, you insisted the lighting was better in there than in his room. After a while he was so engrossed in his book he hardly noticed when you gave some lame excuse of leaving to use the restroom. You raced down to Loki’s room as fast as possible and quickly took pictures of the books he had. Most of them, thank God, were from Earth and those were the ones you focused on. You used your powers to teleport all of the books back to the library quietly so Loki wouldn’t notice. You then went to your room and went to open the package. You took out the kindle you ordered for Loki and went to work. You uploaded all of the books from his room onto his kindle. The final touch was putting the green and black case on the device and wrapping it in a gold bow. You went back to his room and carefully placed it on his desk and wrote a note.

L-

I figured this was better than another bookshelf falling on you. Hope you like it

-Y/N

You went back to the library and continued reading your book as if nothing happened. You intended for Loki to find the gift on his own. That night you went to your room and waited. Around 11:45 there was a knock at your door.

“Come in!” you half yelled.

Loki walked in with the kindle in his hand and a quizzical look on his face, “What is this?” Loki questioned.

“It’s a kindle” you said as if it were obvious to him.

“Y/N what does it do” Loki asked as he walked over to you.

“Sit down and I’ll show you”, you replied as you patted the space next to you on your bed. Loki sighed and took a seat as he handed you the device. You removed the bow and opened the case.

“This is a kindle,” you started, “It’s a device that lets you store thousands of books in one convenient location. The screen doesn’t glare so it looks like a real book. It’s easy for travel and it saves space” You explained as you turned the kindle on. You showed Loki how to use it and explained some of the functions.

“These are all the books I had in my room, how did you- why?” Loki said as he looked at you in bewilderment, like you were the most amazing person in his life. The look sent a blush to your cheeks. You smiled bashfully as you explained your reasoning, “because I care about you Loki. I noticed how much space your books were taking up and I knew how much you would appreciate a gift like this.” You said as you tried to hide your blush.

“Y/N this is the most amazing gift ever, nobody has ever done something like this for me before” Loki said as he inched closer to you. His arm circled around your waist and he began to draw patterns on your hip. “You have no idea how much you mean to me darling” he said as he leaned in to you. Your lips mere inches from his, “I’m only going to kiss you if you want it.” He breathed as your breath turned shallow. “Do you want this, do you want me?” He questioned as his hand slid higher to stroke the nape of your neck.

“Yes” you let out as you sighed and leaned into his touch. He brought his lips down to yours and captured them in a slow and languid kiss.

#thor fanfiction #thor x reader #thor imagine #thor odinson #loki oneshot #loki x you #loki imagine #loki x reader #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #writing

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jq37 · 6 years

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I'll be the one that bites the bullet. Fantasy High episode 11--thoughts?

**spoilers for cool kids, cold case**

Hoo boy.

That could be my entire write up honestly because, geez ya'll.

Let's break it down.

Sidenote, I just got mildly into Overwatch so every time I say that and I say it a fair amount, I hear Lucio in my head.

Anyway, like I said in an earlier post, I'm now pretty sure that the bloodrush fight didn't go the way Brennan expected. Like either he didn't expect them to win or that they would win but not kill Daybreak because there was so much exposition and change and repositioning in this episode. It was a lot like the first session with all the setup. It's like he needed to get them on a new trajectory so he took an episode to time jump and change the status quo before--BAM. But we're getting to that.

In another show or even another episode of this show, the opening convo with Ragh might have been the wildest part of the ep. There’s just so much to unpack there.

Fig making him kowtow to Gorgug and everyone being like dude, stop making it weird.

Before she did that, Emily paused and you could just see every other person looking like “What insane thing is gonna come out of her mouth now?”

Kristen getting the scoop on his super gay dreams.

Adaine trying to get him to got to therapy (and also to realize that he's gay).

The group whole ass making him cry for possibly the first time?

Fabian trying to shut everything down.

“You’re cumming from your eyes.”

Kristen, please stop. I’m begging you.

As I suspected, the group reached the point of yeah, we NEED to call Riz's mom this ep. Like, they *had* to call her. You can only realistically take shenanigans so far before it becomes straight unrealistic to not just call a responsible adult.

And, speaking of, yay! We got to see a little of everyone’s parents just like I wanted/predicted.

We actually got a lot of stuff from my wishlist. There’s so much time jumping and stuff in this episode I don’t even know where to start.

This is probably the wrong place to start but I remember wondering what their Christmas equivalent was because they can’t have Christmas because of the Christ thing so when they were like Solstice I was like, oh duh. It’s literally right there. How could I miss it.

OK I guess

Christmas Solstice party at Gorgug’s house! I knew his house would end up being the hang house.

Sklonda handled the situation pretty close to how I thought she would. I really think Brennan was forced into a, “This adult is too responsible to not wipe out my next ten plot points over the course of a week,” corner and that’s why he had to pivot. More on that later.

Fabian just refusing to eat any of the fast food she got them.

I totally forgot Adaine has diplomatic immunity. Which actually means she’s the ideal Bad Kid to do anything shady they need done, even though that’s not really her style.

Unlike, other people

We’re getting there

I’m glad Brennan drew the line at Kristen’s parents actively being in a cult. He was like, OK no. They’re willfully ignorant but they’re not PART OF THE CULT.

I also think it’s interesting that they didn’t actually kick her out? Like they sorta kinda did but not really because it seems like she’s couch surfing of her own volition a little and staying home sometimes too? I wonder how her brothers are doing.

Both of Fig’s dads just work at her school now. I wonder is they commiserate about her w/ Goldenhoard.

I can’t believe Brennan is letting her just ruin the life of this random, full-adult dwarf doctor. Like, imagine if any adult in her life found out about that.

Brennan says bud a lot. Almost as much as he says rad.

Gorgug choosing playing the drums as his proficiency, but not well. Just, like, a simple drum beat. Bro. Why.

Adaine’s makeover!

I knew we were gonna get to see that. Or at least I really hoped we would.

And it was in boutique setting similar to what I imagined. A little surprised that she went straight for the jeans and t-shirt thing but dope. I want fan-art.

Also, if I hadn’t already been convinced, that scene would have convinced me that Fabian got everyone the gifts (before it was confirmed later).

“You’d look nice as a sailor.” Is that like a pirate thing, bro?

Real talk, does Fabian for-real, for-real have a crush on Adaine low key?He’s complimented her looks more than once, which he hasn’t done with the other girls. They’re at a similar social class which might be a factor. And he clearly has a thing for blond elves.

WE’LL GET TO IT.

I am Concerned about Adaine’s jean jacket, regardless of how dope it is.

Someone needs to talk to Fig about the rat thing. Possibly also Emily.

42069 LANE (or whatever it was). I hate that I love Brennan for that.

“The worst thing about you is that you’re rich.”

But aww, Fabian. I’m glad it ended up being him (and shoutout to the anon who pointed that out to me). This is exactly the character growth I wanted from him.

When Gorthalax said that tryouts had already happened, I was legit upset for Fabian for a sec. Also, how did I know Gorgug was gonna somehow end up on the bloodrush team?

Guys I feel like there’s still a million more things to talk about.

Adaine finding out about Riz’s dad. God I hope there’s a heart to heart soon but she won’t just drop that info unless she has a really good reason.

GILEAR. I can’t believe that was him on a NAT 20. God, he has zero game. Also, imagine Fig and Riz as siblings. Lord.

The return of Tracker. I was concerned that she was in college but she’s like a Sophomore so Kristen is good to go as soon as she stops being a total disaster so actually that’s probably a moot point.

Sidenote, kinda surprised that she’s a cleric. I thought she was off religion totally but I guess she just switched. But I feel like it’s hard to be totally non-religious in a world where gods 100% for sure exist?

Adaine going, “Mrs. Gukgak. Actually Captain Gukgak,” to her racist-ass dad gave me life.

OK so re: the whole conversation about perditional contradoxy and treaties and war and such. How much of that was in the plan and how much of that was last minute retooling by Brennan? Because, I’m going to be honest. If it wasn’t for that comment by Siobhan, I would never have guessed that we were off the rails. But, with that in mind, this feels like the work of a GM who needs to keep the game going because things ended up moving too quickly.

It does answer the question of where the story is going now that the Harvestmen seem to be taken care of. I was a little surprised when Brennan was like, “Yeah Riz’s mom gets them all arrested,” because I’d assumed that the bad guy was going to be just the higher guy on the totem pole.

OK, I’m sure I’m missing some things because this was a JAM PACKED ep so, if I missed something you wanted my thoughts on, please tell me and I’ll be super happy to write more words but let’s get into that scene.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK OK OK

Before we start, I’m so pumped about all of this development but I hate how often I’m going to have to type the word Eolwyn because my fingers refuse to accept that that’s how that’s spelled.

ANYWAY

Dude, the pacing, switching between Adaine and home and the rest of the gang at the party. Like, I knew what the reveal had to be as soon as she walked in but I was still like, “Oh my God. Oh my GOD.”

Sidenote: It was very convenient for Brennan that Adaine never actually read those books because it was an easy and non-cheating way to dole out exposition now, later in the game.

What were the mechanics of Adaine not being invited to that party? Did Eolwyn specifically get her not invited? Did she actually get invited but couldn’t go because of the dinner at home? Did all her friends still decide to go, knowing she wasn’t invited? Was she OK with that? How exactly did that go down?

EOLWYN

BUSTING into that party

Magicking up a bunch of LOVE SLAVE PUPPETS

SNORTING magic coke

Playing Spin the Bottle DEATH ROULETTE

MAKING OUT WITH FABIAN

CUT TO: I’M GOING TO KILL MY SISTER

DAMN BRENNAN, I did NOT Expect you to go THAT hard.

AND THEN IT KEPT GOING

Assuming they all live, I can’t WAIT for the, “YOU KISSED MY SISTER????” conversation.

Which means they’ve either never met Eolwyn or only in passing and not enough to remember her.

Shoutout to Riz for being the only person to give Adaine a heads up.

Her eyes glow blue when she does certain types of magic so I’m just picturing her walking into that room, eyes blazing blue, ready to F up her sister (even BEFORE she finds out what’s going on).

I don’t remember if she called Eolwyn a c**t in this ep or the promo for next but I was like, “Oh damn.” Like you got her to escalate her cursing that much that quickly? Damn.

Also, I love that when she’s really upset, Adaine skips the magic and just starts hitting people.

OK, so remember in the first ep when Eolwyn tried to have Adaine steal that book? The book that I’m pretty sure is the one they mentioned as having wards on it to keep monster stuff from happening at school? So, here’s what I want to know. Has Eolwyn always been a part of this? Because, clearly, it looks like she is right now. But it’s possible the original intent was that she wanted to get Adaine to do it as a prank, not knowing it was important and then, Brennan checked his notes while salvaging the plot and decided to work it in.

Also, unlikely, but imagine if Eolwyn somehow induced Adaine’s panic attack during her entrance exam to Hudol specifically so she would fail, have to go to Augefort, and steal the book for her. Wouldn’t that be wild?

Idek what else to say about that last ten minutes or so that isn’t just incoherent, Ally-esque screeching.

I have to say, battle eps are never my faves but I’m looking forward to this one more than any other one so far.

Man, I can’t believe I thought Eolwyn asking for that textbook might turn into a sister bonding moment. Lol @ past me.

Anyway, kick her ass Adaine!

#fantasy high #asks #anon #idk which anon #y'all can always ask me more questions if you have them #on or off anon #anonymous

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 6 years

Note

001- Bates Motel, 002-Cordelia/Angel :)

001 - Bates Motel

Favourite character: Norma Bates.

Least favourite character: As you pointed out, there are a lot of assholes on thie show so it’s hard to pick, but if we’re talking about main/reoccurring characters I’d go with Shelby.

5 favourite ships (canon or non-canon): Norma/Alex, Norman/Norma (non-romantic), Norma/Dylan (non-romantic), Dylan/Bradley and Dylan/Emma.

Character I find most attractive: Dylan or Bradley.

Character I would marry: Eh, none of them exactly make for perfect life partners lmao, but probably Dylan.

Character I would be best friends with: No one.

A random thought: Initially, I loved the idea of Dylan and Emma as a ship, but as they progressed I found them to be really overrated and didn’t like their development at all. Emma’s character was completely sidelined in favour of making her Dylan’s love interest and it made no sense for them to have a child so soon and so young. I didn’t see any longevity in their relationship and them having a child and playing house when they were 21 and 17 respectively when they met was so forced (particularly since neither Emma nor Dylan seemed remotely interested in having children or settling down, they were both trying to figure out who they were as people). Also, in the final season Emma just didn’t even seem that loving towards Dylan. They already felt like an old married couple whose relationship had gone stagnant and were on the brink of divorce.

An unpopular opinion: I feel like I’ve already stated my unpopular opinion above - I don’t really like Dylan and Emma that much. Another unpopular opinion is that I actually like Bradley and think that she had a lot of potential.

My Canon OTP: I wouldn’t necessarily call them an OTP, but Norma and Alex.

My Non-canon OTP: I don’t have one.

Most Badass Character: Norma.

Most Epic Villain: Norman.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Norma/Shelby, Norma/Christine’s brother (he’s so insignificant I can’t even remember his name lol), Norman/every love interest he has.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Definitely Emma, and I’d probably also go with Alex.

Favourite friendship: In the early days I thought Norman/Emma and Norma/Emma’s friendships were cute, but unfortunately, both were kind of abandoned.

Character I most identify with: No one.

Character I wish I could be: Good god, no one haha.

002 - Cordelia/Angel

When or if I started shipping it: I started shipping them a couple of months ago after watching Angel. The first time I remember really being aware that I was starting to ship them was probably ‘To Shanshu in L.A’ and by season 2 I was completely in love with them.

My thoughts: I can’t believe how underrated and misunderstood this ship is. When I knew about them before watching Angel I couldn’t understand it at all, but now I do completely. Angel and Cordelia are two people that had something missing in their lives at the time when they found each other in L.A - a sense of purpose and identity. Angel had been through so much with the whole soul debacle and his break-up with Buffy that he din’t know who he was or where his place was in the world. Cordelia was the high school prom queen whose entire identity was embedded in popularity and the admiration and validation of others. Angel without Buffy, and Cordelia without high school, meant they were both uprooted and searching for a new meaning and purpose. By working together, creating Angel Investigations, forming a friendship (not just with each other but Doyle, Wes, Gunn, Fred etc.) and helping the helpless, they both found that purpose. When Cordelia died I truly believe Angel lost his purpose and that throughout the entirety of season 5 he was deeply grieving for her loss (although it wasn’t made obvious until ‘You’re Welcome’), because despite having the rest of his friends around him, Cordy was really his center. Emotionally, she was the one that reached him and kept him grounded. Their development was beautiful - they started out as acquaintances that only knew each other through Buffy, then they were colleagues, friends, family and they slowly fell in love. They fought together and grew together and complimented each other in every way. Cordelia’s vibrant personality and sense of humour brought Angel out of his shell, whilst Angel’s compassion and empathy made Cordelia open up to others in a new way and stop being so self-involved. What I love about them so much is that it’s not the kind of all consuming passionate if-I-can’t-have-you-I’m-going-to-die kind of love, it’s so much more realistic. They’re just two people who are a constant presence in each other’s lives for years, they go share each other’s ups and downs and share life-altering experiences in their fights against evil and come to realise that they need each other and love each other in a way that goes beyond friendship. Honestly, I could talk about them all day, so I think I should stop here. But basically, I think they’re an amazing ship that suffered hugely due to the writing and that if the writers had committed to them completely they could have been absolutely incredible.

What makes me happy about them: Urgh, everything? I love them so much. The way they laugh and smile together, how Angel turns into a blithering fool when he’s around her because she makes him nervous, how distraught Angel is whenever Cordy’s life is at risk because he can’t live without her, how they need each other, how they protect each other no matter what, how they’re always there for each other. This list could continue.

What makes me sad about them: The fact that they were never able to truly admit how they felt for each other or even had a chance to be together. That season 4 destroyed everything they had and could have had. That the writers never fully committed to them as a romantic ship and so wasted all of their potential. That Cordelia unfairly died.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I haven’t read much fanficiton about Cordelia and Angel because there isn’t much out there. However, I wouldn’t really like to read any that bash other ships (e.g. Buffy/Angel), because I’m just not about that. I believe in respecting all ships and being true to the characters previous loves.

Things I look for in fanfic: Stories that are as close to canon as possible and true to the characters.

My wishlist: I’m not sure what this means, but I assume it means my wishes for them as a couple? In which case, I’d wish for Cordelia to still be alive, Cordelia to not have become a higher being, all of the events in season 4 to have never happened and for the two of them to have had the opportunity to meet at the beach that night and admit their feelings for each other. From there, I’d have them struggle with their feelings for each other, but agree they want to give it a go and be together. They’d have difficulty transitioning from friends to a couple (particularly with the rest of Angel Investigations and how that impacts the group dynamic) and come up against the looming issue of The Curse. From there on, I don’t know what I’d wish. It would be too cliche for me to wish for Angel to become human and the two of them to live happily ever after, and I don’t really think it would be fitting for them as a couple. But I’d definitely wish for them to have an opportunity to give their relationship a go, because they at least deserved that.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: For Angel, Buffy and Cordelia, I don’t really know. I’m not overly fond of any of Cordelia’s love interests except Angel.

My happily ever after for them: This might seem weird and I have no idea how it’d ever happen, but my happy ending for them would be that Angel becomes a demon (not a vampire, but a demon, maybe a half demon like Doyle) and he and Cordy continue to run Angel Investigations (screw W&H, let’s pretend they’re gone haha). That way Angel, as a demon, would still be physically strong and able to fight to help the helpless, he’d have his soul without The Curse and he wouldn’t be immortal (so he could grow old with Cordy) and he would be able to go into the sunlight. No matter what, for Angel to be happy he’d always need to feel like he had a purpose and for him, that was helping people. ‘I Will Remember You’ proved that. He had the opportunity to be human with Buffy but he chose not to be. He made that choice for a lot of reasons, including the protection of Buffy, but I strongly believe his primary reason for doing so was because he simply couldn’t see how he would live in a world where he couldn’t help people in the same way he was able to as a vampire with a soul.

Thanks so much for asking, lovely! And sorry this got a little long, as you can tell I have a lot of thoughts/feelings about Angel and this is the first chance I’ve had to talk about them.

#answered #personal #my meta #angel meta #bates motel meta #slayers-every-one-of-us

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kimmysfandomblog · 6 years

Note

komahina? (ofc)

Thanks so much!!! (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡

From here!

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: It was actually not immediately! I had no opinion on Komaeda as a character until after/during my second playthrough. I actually have a funny story for that… I never considered Koma/Hina as a pairing until I happened across NicoB’s lets plays mentioning it was a popular ship, and then I was like, “Oh, people ship it? I wonder why!” I googled it up and then read a few reasons (i never did Komaeda’s FTEs, and neither did the let’s players I was watching, and I didn’t watch Island Mode or play it either) SO then I got the game for myself, played through Komaeda (and Nanami’s) FTE’s all the way through. The way his FTEs are written honestly make me believe his events are canon, and I just it most in character of Hinata to try to understand Komaeda, even if it’s with apprehension. Fanart and fanfiction and the fact the ship is super popular really helps fuel my feelings for it, on top of how I liked and came to appreciate Komaeda and his complicated relationship with Hinata even more! It’s just a very complicated, very intriguing ship, and I’ll be happy knowing they get to sort out their feelings post-canon!

My thoughts: Oh I spilled it all out in the previous question by accidents lol. Anyways, yeah, I love it! I love it for that complexity and sincere wish to understand each other. That, at least, is mutual. That first chapter established a connection that couldn’t be denied by Ch 5. There’s a certain other ship that never did that so it confuses me a lot about the popularity of it.

What makes me happy about them: They compliment each other really well and can learn from each other too!!! Also, I like that the last scenes we see, Hinata has accepted Komaeda, it would seem?

What makes me sad about them: Well, if Komaeda’s diagnosis remains true, it would be a very stressful, possibly short, relationship ;;

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: :) So many things... Either Komaeda or Hinata acting as jerks for unjustifiable reasons, portrayals of KomaHina as purely abusive from the start, Komaeda even having an obsession over Hinata? The guy wants to avoid relationships. And Hinata is not a jerk. He will never take advantage of Komaeda, e v e r. I mean, even canonically he tries to avoid confronting him in his recapture! It wasn’t his fault Komaeda got captured in the first place. He only ever physically hurt someone when they are the ones who came at him, like Juzo, or I guess the military guys coming at him in Hope Arc. Hinata’s only ever gave “permission” for violence, like, one time, when Komaeda was being particularly harsh on a comment about him, and this was after many jokes and jabs at Hinata. The way people portray the ship sometimes makes me really sad...

Things I look for in fanfic: Basically, I want to see a realistic confrontation of their feelings. I’m all for the fluff, and the need for understanding! I want to see them tackling problems together and coming to get to know each other. I want it to be something that doesn’t portray either one asking for violence unless in an entirely joking way that no one actually goes for violence. I want full consent and insecurities being ebbed away slowly. I just want what Koma/Hina should be.

My wishlist: I want this idea of Koma/Hina being abusive to die, by the ones who hate it and by the ones who love it. I also am not comfortable with these memes about it actually, especially at Komaeda’s expense. I also kind of wish it was less popular so that I wouldn’t come across really gross representations of this ship and these characters. I want to see this ship be portrayed in a way where Hinata accepts Komaeda’s flaws, and they both come to a middle ground.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: It’s a tough call for Hinata, since I ship him with many people. My top picks would be Naegi and Natsumi, though! As for Komaeda... I only ever ship him with Hinata or Nanami XD I know a lot of people are against Koma/Nami, and I get it honestly, but I think that if we look at their personalities separate from what their canon selves for like, we’d get a super interesting pair.

My happily ever after for them: Komaeda had been misdiagnosed (but he’ll still need medical attention at times, of course), so he lives an average lifespan with Hinata, who counteracts his bad luck (so he doesn’t feel either very strongly like he used to). They still have their disagreements and arguments, but they’ve learned to not run away (or encourage Hinata to run away, in Komaeda’s case) from it any more. They make a good strategic team in how to deal with the other Remnants of Despair or to deal with other difficult situations involving lower ranking future foundations members or citizens that recognize that them as former Remnants of Despair

#kaedeakamatsu #ask meme #thanks for the ask Kaede!!!

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mjalti · 7 years

Note

what are some of your favourite novels? i’m interested to know because i just enjoy reading a lot of what you write and think you’re an interesting person so i hope you can understand the correlation! thank you if you answer, i hope your night(?) is well!!

I don’t think it’s what you read so much as it’s how much you understand it & the EXPERIENCES life puts you through tbh ..I don’t make much of a secret that I grew up in strict + poor family so tbh all I had growing up was books lol I’ve read every classics books & teen fic & adult books before i was like 12 years old bc my parents couldn’t understand what the topics were about and then when I got access to the internet, I googled “banned books” and made my way through the lists of the banned ones (bc I believe banned books teach us most about what’s relevant & challenges the taboos we’ve placed on ourselves). but I would say some of the books that impacted me the most were: nervous conditions, Lolita, Frankenstein, the count of monte cristo, lady chatterly’s lover, the bell jar, the awakening, Rebecca, the jungle, 1984, sister Carrie, siddartha, the metamorphosis, the bluest eye, the giver, kaffir boy, Dracula,

for newer books: the adoration of jenna fox, never let me go, the vegetarian, panchiko, when dad killed mom, my sisters keeper, annie on my mind, the curious case of the dog at nighttime, killing mr griffin, olive’s ocean, speak, tangerine, wintergirls, sharp objects, gone girl,

I enjoyed various series growing up like The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, the Uglies, Hunger Games, Vampire Academy (a lot!), etc

I also love reading poetry by women from all walks of life bc I obviously can relate to it a lot and I also love reading religious texts.

This is off the top of my head I know if I think too much about this I’ll get mad at myself for forgetting to include certain books lol but tbh I’ll read anything I can get my hands on, I love online anthologies and letters and anything intimate tbh idk if amazon offers like kindle/nook wishlists bc then I might make a wishlist public lol but I love to read EVERYTHING I can, I would tell you when it comes to books to not be swayed against a book or for a book, just give it a try!

#qnotqueue #also i read technical books about astronomy and neuroscience specifically idk it’s like ... that’s what I enjoy!!

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meditatemoremedicateless · 7 years

Text

Dear Kate, (I couldn’t get her out of My mind)

Fandom: Life is Strange

Pairings: Chasemarsh, ambermarsh

Major tags: fluff, angst, possession

Words: ~ 6,800

Summary: Kate has a horrendous Thanksgiving with her family, interrupted by some nice pictures from Victoria’s bathroom. She runs into Chloe Price and Rose Amber and joins them for a smoke.

Read the full story on AO3

Dear Kate,

Happy Thanksgiving! I can't be totally sure you're going to be the one to wake up, but I'm praying you will be LOL! I've been reading and re-reading your notes on the fam so I can say the right stuff. For instance, I won't call out Aunt Martha for being a raging homophobe, I WILL ask Lynn about soccer, etc. I'm gonna kill it. I'm great with parents! Probably.

I had our study date with Stella, and everything went fine. I said I'd try and be careful with the addys and it was just a bad week and she relaxed. I think maybe the reason she was avoiding you was because she was dealing, and she'd feel judged if you found out? She didn't really say but those are the vibes I got from her.

I got an 'A' on the Brothers K essay! I left it on the desk so you could read it if you'd like, maybe throw some of my clever points out in class when you get back ;) No need to thank me. Unless you want to, in which case you can buy me something off my wishlist on Amazon.

Speaking of which, I was thinking we could do some sort of gift exchange before we head home for Christmas. Dana wants to do a secret santa and I signed us up, I hope that's okay. But I'd also like to get you some stuff. Can you think of any way we could buy each other gifts without the other knowing about it? I'm thinking I'll just literally bring gift bags with me when I go shopping so you don't have a chance to wake up before I get them wrapped lol. Lastly, I wanted to buy some of the girls in the dorm HP scarves. I'm thinking Alyssa - Ravenclaw, Stella - Slytherin, Max - Hufflepuff/Gryffindor, Dana - Hufflepuff, Juliet - Ravenclaw, Taylor - Slytherin, Courtney - Slytherin/Ravenclaw? Honestly I don't know them that well and I literally have no idea how long it's been since I've read HP so I might be off-base.

@your story about Vic and the porn: THAT IS AMAZING HOLY SHIT. Like I'm sorry I woke her up (I was a little wacked out that week, my bad lol) but that's so funny. I can't believe she worked up the guts to yell at you. I think I'd strangle me for waking me up that early if I was her.

I know this is a little dark but I wish I could spend Thanksgiving with my family. Or, at least, I wish I knew if I'd like them enough to spend it with them. Your family seems great but the holidays seem depressing AF honestly. I really hope it's you tomorrow, not me. I'm probably going to cry or some shit if that happens. I wonder what I'll even do if I get to meet them.

Last thing: I've discovered that I'm actually pretty good at singing?? which I did not expect. You never told me! So I jammed out with Max a little and it was really cool and fun and she brought up the possibility of doing covers on Youtube. It would probably be at least a kind of ongoing thing so . . . do you think you'd be up for it? I know things are a little weird between you two rn, and I don't know if you sing, so I thought I'd ask.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family.

X O X O ~ Katie

Kate let herself have a smile. It was so much less frightening to wake up with time lost as long as one of these notes was there.

Thanksgiving with the Marsh family this year was at Aunt Martha's, like it is most years, even though it's much smaller than what Kate's family had. Mobility was a pretty continual issue for her, so she stayed home unless she absolutely had to, and Kate's mom did the best she could to make sure she wouldn't have to. Aunt Martha was a miserable middle-aged woman whose husband had died too young while her bones withered away from tumors that, by most estimations, should have killed her. She was exactly the sort of person that Kate had been taught to sympathize with, to help selflessly. But, try as she might, Kate hated her, hated that suffering had made her so insufferable, and hated that there was absolutely nothing Kate could do that she thought was of any value.

As Kate sat in the living room on a couch across from Aunt Martha's chair, she wondered what Martha would have to say if she knew Kate had sex with women, or that there was the spirit of a dead girl that made her do evil things living inside her. If wanting to be a children's author and a vegan was too much disappointment for her, what would that do to her poor, fragile heart? Maybe it would be too much for her, and Kate would never have to spend another holiday in this musty house.

Kate had been having more trouble keeping her misanthropic thoughts out of her head since she'd been putting herself together. That, apparently, was the price of letting yourself fall apart. Or abusing drugs, it wasn't totally clear which.

"So, Katie, tell me how school's going. You're a senior, aren't'cha?"

Kate nodded. It was the same few questions every year.

"Where are you applying to college?"

Kate sighed. "I'm not. Blackwell has a two-year program for seniors, and I'm taking college credit there."

"Oh, I see." She paused, but Kate could already feel the next question coming. Aunt Martha didn't disappoint: "But why stay there when you could go to a real college?"

Kate bit back the sarcasm that wanted to rise inside her. "Because most universities don't have a career-oriented program for English majors, nevermind for people who want to do what I want to do."

"Mm, right," Aunt Martha replied, nodding her head as she remembered. "Children's books, right? It hardly seems like you need a college degree forthat. Or . . . is that the point?"

God, not this again. Why did Kate's family think that her desire to go to university was some cloaked attempt to be unsupervised around boys? When had she ever needed supervision to stay away from boys? Kate's eyes narrowed; "I'm not planning on finding a husband in college, if that's what you mean," she said.

This was always a sore subject between them, because that is precisely what Aunt Martha had done, and what Kate's own parents had done. Her insistence that she wouldn't do the same at least only came off as stubbornly independent to her mom, but to Aunt Martha, it was like it was an insult, like Kate thought she was better than her because she needed a man less.

Aunt Martha seemed to sense the tension, and she laughed. "No, of course not. I suspect we'll be waiting a while before we find a man who can keep up with you. I can't imagine an English department will have many boys ready to ask a girl like you out."

Kate bunched up her skirt in her fists, her leg bouncing up and down as a vent for her irritation. She wished Mom and Dad would call her in to help with Thanksgiving dinner, but the kitchen was small and Kate was, honestly, a terrible cook, so they never did now that she was old enough to only be called on when she was needed.

Aunt Martha was always like this. She didn't insist, like Mom did, that Kate had been taken in by the hairy feminists who insisted on women doing everything men can do to make themselves feel better for being unable to have a happy family. No, Aunt Martha had almost always seemed to recognize that there would never be a point where Kate would agree with her vision of a good life. She just thought Kate was tragically stupid. That Kate thought the world could give her something that a good family couldn't find by the grace of God. She thought Kate was materialistic, naive, and most of all, unwanted. And Kate couldn't help but hate her for it.

"So, sweetie, how is the abstinence club going?"

Kate choked on a bite of shepard's pie, the only thing she could really eat on the table because she'd made it herself. It took a few seconds of hitting her chest with her hand before she felt like she could safely breathe again, and everyone looked at her with concern.

Kate shook her head to regain her bearings. "Um. Yeah, it's doing really good. There's not a lot of people in it, but it's very supportive. We have movie nights in the dorms and watch documentaries. It's good."

Dad looked from his food, concern clearly written on his face. "Are kids still giving you trouble about it? I know you said there were some girls being mean about it."

"Aha. Yeah," Kate said, nervously brushing some loose strands of hair behind her ear. "I think they got bored. Bullies, you know, they just like to get a rise out of you, so." Kate returned to trying to eat her food.

Kate hated talking about bullying, but she hated it twice as much with Lynn and Katrina listening. She always wanted them to believe that people were kind to Kate, and that she was kind to them. She wanted them to think that being kind would pay off. Not everyone was ready to accept that people are cruel, and you can't make them stop with kindness. Certainly not at their age. She also seriously didn't want to talk about the abstinence club, because if she let it slip that the membership was half Muslim and that the facilitator (Kate) wasn't even abstinent, this Thanksgiving dinner would completely implode.

Kate decided to take things into her own hands and change the conversation. "Lynn! How's soccer been?"

Lynn shrugged. "It's okay. It's not as fun anymore since we started being ranked, though."

Aunt Martha seemed amused. "You still get trophies for playing, though, don't you?"

Lynn seemed both taken aback and confused. She couldn't understand why the question was loaded - it's not like she watched the news or spent much time on the internet.

So, Kate interjected on her behalf, "I get that. I don't like competing, either, it kind of spoils the fun."

Lynn nodded, but Aunt Martha just raised her eyebrows. At the very least, she didn't say anything in response, just returned to her food.

Kate's phone buzzed. It would be rude to check it during dinner . . . but she just really didn't want to focus on dinner right now.

Victoria: Does your Thanksgiving suck as much as mine rn?

Kate smirked, settling her phone on her leg. She was careful with a touch screen - she didn't need to look to type, especially thanks to auto-correct.

Kate: more. Kate: my dad just asked about the abstinence club

"Kat?" Kate asked. Her sister gave her a glance. "How's robotics?"

"I quit."

Now that was something shocking. And disheartening. "But you love robotics," she replied.

Katrina seemed to think it over for a second, then shrugged slowly. Kate knew, of course, that Mom had always hated that Kat was so involved with robotics - it kept her out of the house for hours after school, and competitions often took her away for weekends and demanded even more hours away from home from her. Just like Kate had thrown herself at service projects and youth programs to stay out of the house, Katrina had been well on her way to becoming a professional right out of high school thanks to years on the Robotics team. Kat didn't really want to make a career out of it, though, and Mom had never understood putting so much time into developing skills you weren't going to use. If she knew her kids were doing it to stay away from her, she was just spiteful about it.

Victoria: wow Victoria: My family's just getting hammered because they can't stand talking to each other Victoria: You win though

Kate: thanks i know Kate: also they asked if you were bullying me still

Mom was the next one to speak up. "Oh, Katie. Maria Anderson sent me a copy of your school newspaper. You didn't tell us you had won a photography competition, sweetie. In LA, that's so exciting!"

"Oh. Yeah. I guess I just forgot, I'm sorry. I've been really busy with school this semester." And the competition was in San Francisco.

Now Dad chimed in. "Have you been getting more involved with photography? I know you were unsure about it when you signed up."

Kate thought about it for a second, then nodded. She took a bite of shepard's pie, and the conversation halted, waiting for a better reply. "Yeah, actually. I'm the photography professor's student aide, and one of my friends is actually going there just to study photography."

Mom seemed intrigued. "Oh? The fashion photography celebrity from the pamphlet?"

Kate nodded affirmative.

"Well, that's exciting!"

Kate shrugged. "I guess. He's kind of self-important in real life, though."

Dad snorted. Then he said, "Well, I guess once you get famous, it's easy to get like that."

"I guess."

Victoria: Oh? bullying you? Victoria: What did you tell them?

Kate: i mean you were totally bullying me Kate: i just said everyone got bored bullying me because you can't get a rise out of me

Victoria: roflmao

It was several minutes before Kate got the next message from Victoria

Victoria: You're right. I should probably make it up to you. Victoria: So you're still at the dinner table, right? Now would be a horrible time to get caught doing something terribly un-Christian?

Kate: i mean, yeah?????

Victoria: You probably shouldn't open up your messages again for a while, then.

Kate had absolutely no idea what that meant. Or did she know what it meant, just not believe it could possibly be happening? Even when her phone buzzed again, she thought the idea was so ridiculous, she must be getting ahead of herself and-

Nope.

Victoria had sent her a picture without a shirt on, leaning against the door of what appeared to be a pristine bathroom. Her skirt was pulled down just enough to expose her underwear, which was pink and it matched her bra and-

Kate dropped her phone. It startled her a lot worse than everyone, but it startled everyone.

"Oh, sorry," she said, retrieving her phone from the floor.

"Katie, put your phone away at the dinner table," her mother admonished.

There was a second photo now. Now it was a selfie instead of a mirror photo, with Victoria sitting on the counter beside the sink. Her skirt was pulled all the way down to her ankles now, and the angle somehow managed to get her eyes and collar bone and breasts in good lighting. Victoria really knew how to use a phone camera.

"Mhm," Kate said, slipping her phone in her pocket.

She could barely eat after that, and she dropped her fork several times.

Kate decided to go for a walk after dinner, which she had done nearly every Thanksgiving in the past years, though not previously to text girls sending her bathroom selfies.

Kate: WTF!! Kate: I was with my family!

Victoria: I invited you not to look.

Kate: You call THAT inviting me not to look?

Victoria: You're the one who looked.

Kate: That's gross logic. Victim blaming.

Victoria: Oh? So you didn't like them?

Kate's jaw felt rigid for some reason, like she was holding back a scream. She was walking awfully fast down the sidewalk, making her way towards the wealthier part of the suburbs.

Kate: That is not the conversation we're having. Kate: No bathroom selfies without warning. Illegal!

Victoria: But . . . bathroom selfies are okay, then?

Kate decided to reply to that question with another question: a random handful of emojis followed by a question mark emoji.

Victoria: God you're such a lesbian

Kate felt a tingle run down her spine just reading the word. She'd always felt like her liking women and her being a lesbian were two totally different ideas. She couldn't help the first one. But the second one always felt like she had to do something, be someone she wasn't to earn it. She believed she had soundly rejected the life 'lesbian' implied to her. But now, here she was. A lesbian after all.

Kate: You know you're the first person to call me that without meaning to be mean.

Victoria: Yeah, I'm not a tool.

Kate could tell she was in the richer part of the suburbs now by how much better-lit the streets were. The roads looked recently paved, the lawns recently trimmed. It was the sort of upkeep you could only really afford if you had someone else do it for you.

Kate: Hey so I have a weird favor to ask

Victoria: Need me to slash someone's tires?

Kate: No? Kate: Why? Is that a thing people really do? Kate: Could you get me a vibrator?

Victoria: That's literally not weird at all, one Victoria: Two, this implies that you were making those godforsaken noises thanks to your HAND? Victoria: I'll get you a vibrator AND a gag

Kate: Hey, you know, I actually feel really weird about all of this. LIke, all of it. Like what is going on right now. Like how did we have sex? And how are you flirting with me right now? None of this makes any sense.

Victoria: you're telling me Victoria: I'd like to say I'm not questioning it, but I'm not actually the sort of girl who can not question anything, lol Victoria: But if I remember correctly, you had a nervous breakdown and then seduced me? Victoria: And I'm honestly surprised you can even recognize flirting Victoria: What with you being a founding member of the school's abstinence club

Kate: I guess I'm just totally losing my sense of identity and replacing it with lesbianism

Victoria: yikes Victoria: but also nice - solid improvement Victoria: no offense

Kate laughed. That was right, wasn't it? If Kate was still who she had been at the start of the month, Victoria wouldn't be flirting with her and sending her sexy pictures during Thanksgiving dinner. If Kate was still who she had been at the start of summer, someone who never would have kissed Victoria just to mess with her, then Victoria would still be mocking her, defacing her club posters right in front of her, just shitting on her at every turn. The only reason Victoria was treating her nicely was because she changed. The Kate that Kate still thought of as herself, the version of her that she was just on vacation from and would be again one day, she would never be in this situation. Victoria didn't like Kate. She liked whatever mangled version of her this was.

Kate: None taken. Kate: You're not exactly regular-me's type, anyway

Victoria: Wow, savage much? Victoria: You don't think I'm cute?

Kate: Oh you are Kate: I just like nice people

Victoria: haha! Victoria: That's fair Victoria: So who do you like? You know, normally.

Kate: I feel like you seriously do not comprehend the Christian + Lesbian experience

Victoria: Try me.

God. Was she seriously going to talk to Victoria about this? Of all people? Then again, who else did she have? Katie? How would Katie possibly understand? She'd never been interested in Kate's chastity vows. She would have broken them if Kate hadn't first. The way she always talked about which girls were cute and who Kate should date with absolutely no regard for how much it hurt her? Katie was just a fundamentally different person. Restraint just wasn't written into her personality.

Kate: OK fine Kate: I literally monitor myself to make sure I don't develop feelings for anyone Kate: Because there is no version of that that isn't a disaster. Kate: Step one, like a person. Based on my inclinations, probably a girl. Oops. Put on the brakes. Kate: Step two, date a person. I took vows. And I took them knowing it wasn't going to be easy. I don't think I could ever be close enough with someone to call it dating and not be tempted. Oops. Put on the brakes. Kate: Step three. Fall in love. But I'm not going to be sticking around here. I'm going to go off to college and I don't really plan on coming back. Fall for someone in college? We just break up or get married and those are samely awful because marriage is a sham that helps reinforce white supremacy in America and marriage is only going to distract me from getting through my education. And hey, getting dumped sounds pretty bad, too. Oops. Put on the brakes. Kate: So I don't "like" anyone normally. It can't be anything but a train wreck.

Victoria never seemed to start a message and not finish it within seconds. She was sure of what she wanted to say before she even tried to say it. You can see indecision in those little "..." that pop up on your phone, and Victoria's lasted longer than Kate expected.

Victoria: ... but you like me?

Dammit. Kate had said that, hadn't she? For Katie's sake. So Katie wouldn't be lonely. Of course. That's really why this was all happening, wasn't it? Because Kate told a little white lie in hopes of helping someone?

Kate: For now.

It was curt. It was mean, and honestly, probably a little degrading. But Kate sent it anyway. Victoria was quick to respond.

Victoria: I can live with that. But I have to tell you, I think your brakes might be broken.

That's not all that's broken. The thought made Kate smile, but it also hurt like a hole had been made in her lung.

Kate wished she could explain her situation. She wished she could explain that she never meant to take Adderall, she never meant to kiss Victoria, she never meant to do anything but keep living her closed-off, secure, closeted life, but that the choice had been taken from her. She wished she could explain that she only let the thought of having sex with Victoria be anything more than the most passing, unwelcome fantasy because she wanted to get back at an invader in her own body. She wished she could be cruel and tell Victoria that she wasn't as special as she must think she is, because absolutely none of this was about her. She was just the girl around when any would have done (any girl she didn't fear falling in love with, at least). Victoria thought she'd taken advantage of Kate - she even apologized for it the next day. The thought hadn't even seemed to occur to her that she was the one being taken advantage of.

But, in the end, Kate had to admit she was having fun.

Kate: Send me another photo.

Victoria didn't text back. Kate was fairly convinced that was because she was listening, and here in a few minutes she'd have a new picture of Victoria to titillate her for absolutely no reason other than she wanted it. Victoria, as bossy as she was, liked being told what to do. Kate had never felt the impulse to obey. She wondered how easy it would have been for her to keep living her life as planned if she didn't have to struggle every step of the way against herself. If only obedience was as easy for her as it was for Victoria.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw something that had haunted her dreams. Something that had always seemed far away, ephemeral, not really part of the same world that Kate lived in, sort of like Katie. No matter how much she'd seen it, she never really thought of it as something real.

The girl with the blue hair stood on the porch of one of the nicest houses on the street beside a short, black-haired woman. They each had a cigarette in their mouths, chatting amicably after a Thanksgiving dinner. Chloe Price: The girl of Kate Marsh's dreams. How strange it was that they'd never talked.

Finally, Chloe caught Kate standing there next to the driveway, looking at her with wide eyes of wonder and, frankly, fear.

"Yo!" she called. "Is that Kate Marsh?"

Kate just blinked. Of course. Of course they had met, and Kate just didn't remember. "Chloe Price?" she called, knowing full well the answer.

"Sup?! Wanna bum another cigarette?"

Another cigarette? Looks like that was another thing Kate didn't know she'd been doing. "Sure," she replied, and walked up the unfamiliar driveway to stand on the porch with Chloe and the unfamiliar woman.

"Hi, I'm Kate," she said, offering a hand to the Unfamiliar Woman.

"Rose," the woman replied as she shook Kate's hand, a wry smile on her face. "A friend of yours I take it, Chloe?" Rose asked before taking another drag from her cigarette. Kate absolutely hated the smoke from cigarettes. She was resolved to put it in her lungs.

Chloe nodded with a smile. "You can take it all the way to the bank. Kate here is an art student at Blackwell and co-friend to one Max Caulfield. She plays the violin beautifully and assists Mark Jefferson, fashion photographer and total hottie, as his class aide."

Kate had absolutely no idea how Chloe could possibly know all this stuff about her when all Kate knew about Chloe was that she ate at the Two Whales diner sometimes, and she didn't exactly have definitive proof of that, either.

"Well, Chloe, that's quite an impressive introduction-"

"-Thank you Mrs. Amber-"

"- But maybe Kate should get to talk about herself instead? And maybe you should light her cigarette, as she clearly doesn't have a light."

"My bad."

Kate held the cigarette in her mouth, bracing herself for what was to come. Chloe lit the cigarette and Kate inhaled and it felt like death and Kate immediately began to choke and cough.

Chloe pointed at Kate with her cigarette between her fingers. "You see, she keeps telling me she's a smoker, but I think she's just flirting with me."

Here Kate was, having one of the worst cardiovascular experiences of her life, and there Chloe was, making jokes at her expense like they were close friends. What in the actual goddamn?

"Are you alright, hun?" Rose asked as Kate managed to finally get a lungful of clean air. She nodded, not really aiming to talk so soon after embarrassing herself.

"Well, then, I hear-" she gave a pointed stare at Chloe, who just smirked before putting the cigarette back in her mouth, "- that you've taken over my daughter's TA position. How is that going for you?"

Wait, what?

"Rose . . . Amber," Kate mumbled, fitting the pieces together. Her eyes flicked up to Rose's face, wide with shock. "You're Rachel's mom."

Rose nodded. "That I am. Or I was, when she was still interested in having a mother." There was clear frustration in her face as she said it, but it cleared up a moment later. She shot Kate an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't say things like that in front of a stranger."

Chloe waved it off. "Nah, don't worry about it. She's heard me say worse. Katie here has been helping Max and me with some . . . extracurricular activities lately."

"I . . . have?" Kate asked. But Chloe said it without hesitation, she couldn't just be making it up, could she? "I mean, I have been, yeah," she corrected.

Rose conceded the point but still said, "Forgive me, Kate. It's our first big holiday without Rachel home and I'm . . . being bitter."

Chloe cracked a smile, snapping a finger gun at Rose. "And a little drunk!"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Yes, all right, and a little drunk. But mostly bitter."

"I'm . . . sorry, that must be so hard for you."

Kate suddenly felt stripped bare, exposed in an unusual way. She felt ashamed for the petty ways she'd been acting the past few days. There were people outside of her life, outside of her head who were having real problems, real concerns, and they still seemed to hold it together. Somewhere in the past few weeks of struggling against herself and abandoning all responsibility, the missing persons posters that littered her school had all become invisible, and she had forgotten that she missed Rachel, that she should care that Rachel was gone. Some people, though, didn't have the luxury of forgetting just because other things were going on.

"Yes . . . yes I suppose it is," Rose said, a faraway look in her eye as the embers of her cigarette glowed bright. She extinguished her cigarette on an ash tray left out on the deck railing and sighed. "I think some part of me thought she'd come home for the holidays. That she didn't . . . I don't know what it means."

The implication, though, hung in the air between them, a miasma worse than the cigarette smoke. Kate and Chloe both took a drag from their cigarettes to try and distract themselves from the thought of Rachel dead and buried somewhere, though the lack of oxygen and ensuing coughing fit did a much better job at distracting Kate than the nicotine.

After a moment, Rose said, "Well, I'm going to head inside. The Chardonnay isn't going to drink itself, I'm afraid." As she turned towards the door, she clapped a hand on Chloe's shoulder. "Just come in when you're ready."

Chloe nodded with a good-natured smile, and then Rose went inside.

Kate raised her cigarette again, but hesitated before it reached her mouth. Chloe laughed, and Kate tilted her head in confusion. "You don't have to smoke it, dude. Like in all seriousness, you should quit while you're ahead."

Kate pulled the cigarette away from her mouth and stared at it for a second. She considered smoking it just to be obstinate, but, honestly, the shtick was getting old for her. There were parts of 'no responsibilities' that she liked, but smoking was not one of them.

"Yeah, you're right." Kate extinguished her cigarette and leaned on the railing opposite of where Chloe stood.

"So, Chloe Price," Kate started, folding her hands in front of her. "You seem to know a lot about me. What's there to know about you?"

Chloe looked pleased at the prospect of talking about herself, and held her cigarette at her side once she'd finished what looked like the last of it. She blew up, trying to keep it out of Kate's face.

"Well, Katie, I'm nineteen years old, a natural blonde, my favorite color is blue and I like long, romantic walks on the beach. Oh, and I'm chainsmoking outside of my best friend's house to distract myself from the most depressing Thanksgiving I've ever had, and let me tell you, I've had some bad ones."

As much as Kate might like to ask about that, there was something far more interesting to her: "So, you and Rachel were close?"

Chloe quirked her eyebrows. "Was it the hundred or so missing persons posters or the breaking into your principal's office? Thanks, by the way."

Kate blinked. "For what?"

Now it was Chloe's turn to look confused. "For the . . . key to Wells's office? Max and I couldn't have done it without you, seriously."

I helped them break into Wells office? Katie, what are you getting yourself into here? Chloe doesn't know that you don't know what happened. Just stay cool and be vague.

"Oh, right, totally. Did you find what you were looking for?"

Chloe shrugged, tilting her hand back and forth to answer, 'eh.' "Kinda," she said. "Figured out that Nathan's a psycho, not that was news to anyone. Couldn't find Rachel's file though, which was shady as fuck considering they still had mine, but it didn't exactly leave us a lot to go on."

"Hmm. That's too bad."

Chloe nodded, then finally reached over to drop her cigarette butt on the ash tray. "We'll keep you posted. Anyway, how was your Thanksgiving?"

"Uhhh," Kate had no idea. It was a disaster, like it always was, but that wasn't really what stuck out in her mind. "It was . . . bad."

"How so?"

Chloe was not part of Kate's life. She was friends with Max, who Kate was friends with, so their spheres were not entirely divorced. But, obviously, Chloe was trusting Kate with something important, even if she had no idea what it was. Despite her rational inhibition, Kate got the feeling that Chloe was somebody that she could trust. And also probably a lesbian, judging from the rainbow shirt she wore in her profile picture on Facebook. Maybe this was the closest Kate would have to somebody she could tell about her fucked up situation.

"Well. For one, my parents asked about my abstinence club."

"Oh yeah, Max mentioned that you were in that. Why's that bad?"

Kate crossed her arms over her chest. "You promise not to tell Max?"

"Uh, yeah, sure . . ." Chloe looked both concerned and also overwhelmingly curious. "Why?"

"Well, I had sex last week."

Chloe said absolutely nothing at first. Her expression changed very slowly from concern to confusion to shock to understanding.

"Yeah, that seems like that'd be a weird conversation, then. Especially if - wait. Like, your first time?"

Kate nodded.

Chloe held her hand up in the air, "Eyyy, nice one!" She didn't drop it when Kate only stared at her hand, but after a second she seemed to realize the issue. "May-be? Are you happy about that? I don't know how the whole . . . abstinence thing works."

Kate giggled a little, then raised her hand for a high five. Chloe complied quickly, hitting her hand so hard that it gave a satisfying clap, although it also hurt like hell. Kate shook her hand to restore the feeling in her palm.

"So? Blackwell kid I know? Who's the lucky g-..." Chloe froze, inspecting Kate quickly and in no way subtly. "Yeah, I'm going to need you to help me out here - your sexuality's a little hard for me to suss out here."

Kate, despite herself, was growing fond of all these girls who, whatever else they thought, could distinctly sense that Kate was not-straight. After being friends with Alyssa, Stella, and Dana for a year, it was nice to experience a sense of normality. Not that she blamed them for the heteronormativity, really, it's just that everyone took her disinterest in relationships as some sort of shy girl shell that romance would one day crack. They thought she asked not to be touched because contact was uncomfortable for her. Even Alyssa, who was in the abstinence club too, never seemed to consider that relationships and touch alike were something Kate craved, and that is precisely why she said no.

"She's a girl. And you probably know her, so I feel like I shouldn't say."

"Ugh. Fine. But you're leaving me with some real gossip blue balls here, you know."

Kate gagged at that whole comment. "Gross. But, anyway, not only did I nearly die because I had to talk about the club, but then she goes and sends me pictures of her in her underwear during dinner-"

"-nice; continue-"

"- and I'm, you know, a bit new at this, so I lose my cool a little bit, nearly trip and stab my own neck with a fork, that sort of thing. So the whole dinner basically sucked."

"Reasonable, reasonable." Chloe paused to think for a second and then added, "Is it by any chance Victoria?"

Kate can't even muster up a facial reaction for how off-guard she was for that comment. "H-how did you-"

"Oh my god - holy shit! You had-"

"Ssshhh!"

Chloe had the biggest, goofiest grin on her face. "You had sex with Victoria Chase? Nice one, dude! I tried negging her for like two years, never went anywhere."

That left Kate a little more guarded, but mostly awkward. "I mean, yeah, because that's gross and misogynistic. Have you tried, I don't know, not doing that?"

"Pfft." Chloe considered it. "Yeah. I mean, no, not with Victoria, but like, in general. Why, what'd you do?"

"I-" Kate thought about what she had done, precisely. Had an emotional meltdown? Probably wasn't what did it. Just sort of grabbed her and kissed her? That actually sounds closer to sexual assault and definitely not something she was about to advise Chloe to do. What had actually, you know, worked? "I - uh." Kate's skin flushed red the more she thought about it. No, no, Chloe wasn't asking about those things, that was what probably made the sex continue, not start. Honestly, why should she even tell Chloe? What was it about this weird girl with beautiful arms that made Kate want to impress her?

"I - I dunno. I just. Kinda. Asked if she wanted to make me orgasm I guess?"

Chloe's shock looked both real and performative in its intensity. "Literally? How do you have so much game? You're like 5'5" and cute as a button."

Kate had been getting the impression throughout the conversation that Chloe was flirting with her. Now she was sure of it, and it was doing absolutely nothing to help her feel less embarrassed and overstimulated by this situation.

Kate reached up and scratched her head. The wind and walking had loosened a lot of her hair from its bun and now tufts of it were uncomfortably stuck in bobby pins, over her ears, and otherwise making nuisances of themselves. "But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell Max about any of this. I don't want her to think less of me."

Chloe held her hands up. "Hey, I won't, but she's also not one to slut-sh-"

"It's not about that. I just . . . don't want her to know."

The look Chloe gave her was awfully suggestive, but she didn't pursue the topic further. "Well, all right, that's fine with me. I think I'm going to head inside, though, it's getting kind of cold for me. You good getting home?"

"Oh yeah I'm . . . uh . . ." Kate looked down the road that she'd come from. It wasn't familiar. She didn't normally walk this far - she must have been gone for over an hour by now.

"Want a ride?"

Kate didn't have to ask which car was hers - it stuck out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood. Still, Kate got the feeling that yes, she really did want a ride.

"Nice truck," Kate said as she looked back at Chloe. To her own total lack of surprise, she caught Chloe checking her out - she switched to a pleasant smile as soon as possible, but it was still a fraction of a second too late. "Sure, I'd like that."

Chloe grinned again, and the devil there in Kate's heart woke up. Kate could see the scene in front of her just like she had with Victoria. If she wanted to, right now, she could probably have sex with Chloe. They could go for a ride a little past where Kate was supposed to get home, where the street lights weren't so frequent and everyone just parked where they could along the side of the road. There wasn't really enough room in the truck to do the sorts of things she had Victoria had done by the looks of it, but Kate liked the look of Chloe's arms and her hands, and she was pretty sure that would be enough to get her off. She had already promised not to tell Max. All she'd have to do is suggest it.

Kate's phone buzzed, and she broke the lingering eye contact between her and Chloe to check it. About half an hour ago there was a picture of Victoria lying on a large bed, her feet in the air and her face held up by a hand. She must have been using a selfie stick, because no one could get such a clear shot of their butt from above without one. Then, just now, there was a message.

Victoria: Did you literally die?

Kate laughed underneath her breath, but, honestly, she felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. What in the world was she doing? What gave her any right to take and use girls just because she wanted to? That's not who she was. And, more importantly, she knew that's not who she wanted to be. Orgasms and control were nice, but maybe they weren't worth giving up all of her integrity.

"C'mon, I'll take you home."

Kate: no, sorry, just got busy Kate: Maybe once we get back I could see more of that in person.

"Mmhmm, yeah. Thanks, Chloe."

Victoria: Maybe so.

Dear Katie,

Thanksgiving went fine. Aunt Martha was, as expected, unpleasant. Katrina dropped out of robotics (I blame Mom).

Kate paused there. How much should she explain? Everything was getting so complicated, and as much as she wanted to spite Katie sometimes, she very well might be the one in charge of Kate's body come the morning. At the very least, they should talk about how Katie got the key to Principal Wells's office. She should ask about what Max and Chloe were up to, and give Katie a heads-up that Chloe seemed to be into her. And she should probably explain what was happening with Victoria before things got any weirder.

It's been a long day. I think I'm going to just go to sleep. Try to get some homework done this weekend, and make sure you're nice to Katrina and Lynn. I don't know how you feel about kids but I love those two a lot.

I hope you have a good day,

Kate

Kate deleted all of her messages from Victoria before going to bed.

#dear kate #life is strange #before the storm #fan fiction #kate marsh #rachel amber #rose amber #victoria chase #ambermarsh #chasemarsh #possession #angst #fluff #serial

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