#in baldur's gate and would likely be assassinated by orin if she wanted to

[thrucrax]

thinking of bert in BG3 how he'd interact with characters like the emperor or raphael ... he's trusting both

[aerynwrites]

Make is Right

Gale x Dark Urge!Reader

A/N: Had this idea come to me when @thedreamlessnights told me that Gale yelled at their dark urge after talking to Gortash in Baldur’s Gate. Hope y’all enjoy the angst and fluff that follows.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BG3. Spoilers for dark urge plot specifically. Angst, emotional Hurt/Comfort, major character death, resurrection, fluff, happy ending.

You’ve been in a spiral ever since the Nautiloid crashed, your mind a jumble of blankness and confusing violent urges you can’t hope to control. Your sleep plagued with terrible dreams and that infuriating butler. Urges that have made you do terrible things and almost make you do worse. 

But now…now it feels as if everything has come crashing down around you. You’d hoped coming to Baldur’s Gate would give you answers to your past, hopefully bring to light memories that are still lost to you. 

You never expected it to be worse than you thought. 

You never expected to be on the receiving end of Lord Gortash’s cunning smile as he greets his favorite assassin. You didn’t think learning of your past would make your heart drop to your stomach. 

But as you stand here, in this grand throne room and listen as Gortash tells you of your bloody past…you feel bile rise in your throat. 

You watch numbly as Duke Ravengard crowns Gortash as the archduke of Baldur’s Gate, acutely aware of how your companions shift uneasily behind you. You accept begrudgingly when Gortash offers you an alliance, that sickening smile tugging at his lips as he steps closer to you. 

“I tolerate Orin,” he tells you, a strange fondness in his eyes that makes your stomach roll. “But I liked you.” 

He waves his hand dismissively. “Go get the stone. And don’t come back until you have it in hand.”

You obey his command, not because you want to listen to him, but because you want to get as far away from here as possible. Your feet carry you faster than you expect, and soon you’re out of the oppressive building that is Wyrm’s Crossing making your way across the bridge. 

It’s only then that any feeling comes back to you at all, and you’re acutely aware of piercing gaze burning into your back. You stop in your tracks, turning to see Gale as the source. 

The look he gives you…The man who you’ve come to love and who you thought felt the same…His eyes are full of nothing but betrayal and anger. 

You reach out to him, fear gripping your heart like you’ve never felt before. “Gale, what-?” 

He recoils from you, lips turned down wards. “Don’t.” He says, the one word coming out harsher than you anticipate, making you retreat into yourself as he continues. “The absolute, the tadpoles…it was because of you?” 

That last word is said with such venom it makes your heart fracture in your chest. You’ve never been on the receiving end of such vitriol, at least not from him, and it makes tears burn at the back of your eyes. 

“Gale, please…I didn’t even know-“ 

He cuts you off with a raised hand, eyes falling shut as he turns his head away from you, as if it pains him to even hear your voice. 

“I think you’ve said and done more than enough,” he lowers his hand to a fist at his side, still not looking at you. “Leave me be.” 

He offers nothing else as he brushes past you, walking back towards camp with a rigid set to his shoulders. You feel your lower lip wobble, and out of instinct look back to your other companions for guidance, hoping for anything other than hatred. 

You at least get that much. Not even Karlach will look right at you, her hands clenching at her sides as she too walks past, uttering something about catching up with Gale. Astarion offers one of his humorous quips, but even that does nothing to help. 

Only Shadowheart seems truly sorry, her eyes meeting yours in a knowing way. You suppose she’s the only one who understands being a slave to your blank past and eventually finding out the brutal truth. 

But even her…you can see the thin set of her lips, and you know. You know on some level she blames you too. 

And as they all leave one after the other, you’re left alone on the wooden bridge, the wind whistling around you, and your mind still infuriatingly blank. 

————

No one approaches you at camp that evening, all of them being pleasant enough but losing that usual camaraderie that typically fills the air. 

It’s only after dinner has been served and eaten that you move to seek out your partner, your bowl of stew left untouched by your spot at the fire. 

Gale is in front of his tent, deep in one of his books as he usually is. Normally the sight would bring a smile to your face, but now as you approach, nothing but dread settles in your stomach. 

The man doesn’t even acknowledge you as you walk up, eyes never leaving the pages of his book as you stand in front of him, shifting nervously in your feet. 

“Can we talk?” you finally ask, voice soft in the night air. 

Not looking up from his reading, Gale turns a page as he answers, “I don’t see what there is to talk about.” 

You bite your lip, trying to keep the tears welling up at bay. 

“You know what.”

Gale scoffs, finally closing his book with a resounding snap as he finally looks at you. His eyes are ablaze with anger but deep below the surface you can sense a sadness. He feels betrayed. 

“Oh yes,” he says, “I suppose we do need to address the fact that you are the reason we are all in this bloody predicament. Where would you like to start?” He asks cruelly. “The fact that you’re actually a bloodthirsty assassin set on fulfilling your fathers diabolical wishes? Or should we discuss the tiny detail that you were seemingly cozy with none other than Enver Gortash?” 

Frustration bubbles up in you then, and finally the tears spill over - hurt and anger and utter confusion proving too much for you to handle. 

“You act like that person is me!” You cry, wavering. “Like I haven’t proven again and again since I’ve met you that I’m not…that. I don’t want to be that person anymore I don’t…I can’t be.”

Gale says nothing, so you continue. “I can’t control who I was but until today I didn’t even know that was my past but I -“ you choke on a sob, wiping furiously at the tears streaming down your cheeks. “We’ve done so much good. That has to count for something.” 

You watch as Gale softens ever so slightly, but it’s so slight that if you didn’t know him as well as you do, you would have missed it. 

He sighs, eyes clenching shut as he turns his face from you again. “Sometimes…Sometimes our past is not something we can separate ourselves from.” He says simply, hands falling limply by his side. “I…I need time to think. I think it’s best if you go.” 

His words feel like a stake to your heart, the pain radiating out to your fingertips and making your knees weak. 

You want to scream. You want to fall on your knees and beg for him to understand, for him to not push you away. But you know it would do no good. So instead, you only nod, swallowing the lump in your throat as you retreat to your bedroll by the fire. 

You avoid the sideways stares the others give you, no doubt having heard your fight with Gale. 

The bedroll is cold beneath you, even the fire doing nothing to warm the icy hurt seeping through your veins. Minutes tick by into hours and soon everyone retires to bed. 

But you remain awake. 

Astarion and Karlach lay on the other bedrolls near you - but the one across the fire is achingly empty. 

As the night draws on and the flames of the fire dwindle to nothing but smoldering embers, your mind runs endlessly. 

You try fruitlessly to counjure up memories of your past, the past Gortash laid out for you. But there’s nothing. Nothing but blankness and and cloud of black anger bubbling in your chest. 

Orin. 

She’s the only thing that keeps fighting it’s way to the forefront of your mind. Since you’ve been in the city she’s already made it clear she’s watching you, and after what was revealed to you, you know why. 

She did this to you. 

She created this vast expanse of emptiness within you. Made you forget your past and took your place as Bhaals chosen, but maybe…

It was for the better. You know this, and silently you thank her for doing it. For orchestrating your fall from grace so to speak. Because now…now you’re someone else, someone better. 

All at once an idea forms in your mind. One that would hopefully solve all your problems. 

Orin took your place when she got rid of you…what if you could do the same. But instead of taking her place when she falls…you can deny your father his chosen. 

You’ll have two of the stones, Orin out of the way and one step closer to righting the wrongs you’ve unknowingly created. 

You’re on your feet before you can overthink it. You enter your tent and don your armor and weapons in a mindless haze, only when you exit your tent do you pause, your eyes trailing over to the familiar blue tent across camp. 

You approach quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping body inside, and you carefully peel back the tent flap. Gale rests on his side, face lax with sleep as his chest rises and falls slowly. 

For a moment you’re struck with a pang of fear. What if this venture ends in your death? What if you never see the man you love again? 

These thoughts run through your head as you gaze softly at your sleeping lover, and before you can let the fear control you, you lean in and press a featherlight kiss to his cheek. 

He barely stirs, eyes fluttering lightly before he settles once more. You smile sadly before reaching into your pocket, your fingers wrapping around the cool red stone before you pull it out. 

You place the netherstone beside his pillow where he’ll be sure to see it. If this does go sideways…they can still continue the mission. 

You stand, giving one last glance at Gale before you let the tent flap fall shut and turn to go face your past head on. 

———

Orins arrogance is her downfall, just as you hoped it would be. 

She could have easily overpowered you. Taken advantage of your worn down state from trying to find the temple. She could have used the handful of cultists around her to aid in her battle against you. 

But she was arrogant, bloodthirsty, and ready to end what she had started. 

That had been her mistake. 

The fight was not easy, there were moments where you thought you would fall, a few injuries too close to fatal for you to be too haughty in your victory. 

But as she lay, broken and bloodied at your feet, you can’t help but be acutely aware of the vast emptiness still yawing within you. 

You thought killing Orin would make you feel something. Maybe a sick sense of satisfaction, or possibly even trigger some memories of what she did to you or what you’ve done. 

But there’s…nothing. There’s nothing but the sound of your own breath as it bubbles wetly in your chest. 

Somethings wrong, you’re injured worse than you’ve ever been before but at this moment you can’t find it in you to care. 

Will this be enough? 

Will Gale forgive you for your wrongs? Or, when you return to camp with the second netherstone, will it just prove that he was right? That you can’t in fact separate yourself from your bloody past. 

That you’ll never be more than the spawn of Bhaal, created to do one thing only. 

Will you ever truly be free? 

Your answer comes in a wave of telekinetic pain, washing over your mind and nearly bringing you to your knees as a voice speaks through you. 

There’s a tinge of familiarity as it speaks, and it’s only then you realize who is speaking. 

Bhaal. 

The god of murder. Your father. The thing that made you who you were - who you are. 

You stand there, that pain slowly ebbing away as he offers you greatness. Offers you the title as his chosen once more and showers you with false praises. 

You feel that all too familiar urge tug violently at your mind, begging - screaming at you to accept your rightful place. 

You almost give in, your despair and emptiness almost winning out. But then…then you remember the way Gale looked at you, the way they all looked at you. With pain and fear and betrayal in their eyes. 

And suddenly the emptiness is gone. The vast yawning cavern of blackness in your mind no longer feels like a burden. You may not remember who you were but…You aren’t them anymore. You’re someone new. Someone kind and loving and caring. You’re someone who laughs around the campfire at Karlach’s jokes and teases Astarion about his always perfect hair. 

But more than that…You’re someone who’s known love. 

Gales face flickers before your mind then, that kind small smile when you ask him about his magic. The way his eyes crinkle when he laughs. The way his hands feel against your skin as he holds you, or the way he stayed with you as you fought your urges. 

Your mind isn’t empty. It’s so full. Just as your heart is. Full of love and hope and brightness despite the urges that tempt you everyday. 

You’re not his anymore. 

You reject his gift as powerfully as you can muster and you feel the way his power reels back in anger and hatred. 

How dare you refuse me!

His voice rages in your mind just as you feel the tendrils of pain seep into your bones. 

Your name echoes off the cavernous temple walls, and through the pain and the voice screaming in your head it takes you longer than usual to realize where it’s coming from. 

You turn to see your companions, your friends, rushing towards you from the entrance of the temple, shouts of your name and other jumbled words greet your ears. 

But then you see Gale. 

His eyes filled with worry and regret, reaching for you, fingers outstretched towards your quaking form. 

They’re closer now, each step bringing them closer and closer to your bleeding body. You reach out your own hand, limbs quaking with effort against the ever crushing weight consuming you. 

Your fingers just barley brush Gale’s, his eyes glossing with relief. 

But it’s too late. 

His hand slips into your own as Bhaal strikes you down. 

Bones cracking, sinew snapping, and blood rushing out of you as darkness swallows you whole. The last thing you remember as death surrounds you, is the pain in your throat as you cry out Gale’s name. 

————

It feels like mere moments after the pain and darkness that light erupts around you. 

Warm tendrils of light wrap around the emptiness that was your life and soul forming you once more back onto the mortal plane. It blinds you, making you unable to see what happens until you materialize and your boots hit solid ground, your knees buckling beneath you. 

But instead of meeting the cold hard floor beneath you, warm arms catch you as you fall, your body falling against a much sturdier one. 

Your mind is muddled as your sense come back to you, a multitude of faces swimming before you. You see Karlach and Halsin hovering off to the side with Shadowheart. Even Astarion’s face swims with worry. 

But what catches your attention most is the familiar face of your lover right above you, tears clinging to his lashes. 

Tears?

You’ve never seen Gale cry, never seen him so much as sniffle or whimper. But now…

Small, warm tears drip onto your cheeks as he leans down to press his forehead against your own, his arms crushing you to his chest so fiercely you nearly can’t breathe. 

“Thank the gods-“ he chokes on a sob, “you’re alive. You’re alive. I…” he pulls away from you then, reaching a hand up to wipe the moisture from your skin. “I watched you die and all I could think about was what a fool I’d been - how unfair and cruel I was to you.” 

You shake your head, bringing a hand up cradle his cheek, wiping at the tears there as you furrow your brow. 

“What happened?” 

Gale opens his mouth to speak, but another raspy echoing voice answers. You turn your head just enough to see Withers standing a few paces away. 

“Bhaal tried to extinguish thee, but his wrath is imprecise. He only succeeded in killing the part of thee he knew,” the being says plainly, voice lacking any emotion. “The Urge that drove thee to terrible acts. The spark of brutality that made thee his. But there is a new part of thee that has grown during thy travels.” You swear you see the bag of bones smile. “That part Bhaal could not extinguish. And so, instead of destroying thee, he hath made thee anew.” 

He continues. “The heart of a savior hath overshadowed the mind of a murderer” he clenches a fist triumphantly. “Thou hast vanquished thy Urge.” 

It's then, when his words truly settle in that you sense it - or, don’t sense it. 

There’s…nothing. No primal bloodlust, no violent tug at the edge of your mind. 

It’s gone. 

Hope swells in your chest as you look back to Gale, eyes swimming with tears of your own now. 

“He’s right I - I can’t feel it. The urge. I think it’s gone, for good this time.” 

Gale shakes his head, pulling you ever closer as his lips fall to your cheek. “I don’t care,” he says firmly, causing momentary panic to tug at your heart. 

But Gale is quick to sooth, pulling away to look into your eyes. “I only mean that I do not care if your urges are with you or not. I would love you all the same and I-“ he closes his eyes, shoulders tense with regret. “I was a fool for making you think I felt otherwise. You stuck by me even when I didn’t deserve it and I…I did not give you the same respect or care.” 

His voice is soft and broken as he speaks, eyes opening again. “I love you, more than than even my goddess, more than the stars that litter the night skies and I - I can only beg for your forgiveness, though I would not begrudge you for holding it from me.” 

As his words sink in, you faintly recognize that the others have retreated quietly, even Withers has taken his leave, allowing you and Gale a moment of privacy. 

Slowly you move so you are kneeling before Gale who mirrors your position, his arms still wrapped around you. You bring your hands up to cradle his cheeks, thumbs brushing back and forth slowly. 

“I love you too,” you tell him, eyes watering with tears once more. “That’s why I…I wanted to make things right - prove that I wasn’t that person anymore.” 

“But you have!” Gale says, voice striken with grief. “Time and time again you showed us who you truly are, proved that the urges you felt were against your will and yet I still-“ he laughs bitterly, “I still let the revelation of your past cloud who I know you truly are. I was cruel. And there is no excuse for the harsh words I uttered. I only hope to show you the error of my ways, no matter how long it takes.” 

You smile at him - your lover, your partner, the only person you want to spend your future with - and kiss him. 

You pour all of your love and desperate aching need for him into that one action, heart swelling with warmth as he responds in kind. 

You only part when you need air, moving to rest your head against his own, your breathes mingling together. 

“There’s nothing to forgive, my love,” you whisper. “Just stay by my side until the end as I will you.” 

Gale smiles, arms wrapping tighter around your waist.

 “I would love nothing more.” 

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

Pairing: Karlach x durge reader, Gortash x durge reader

Prompt: Some thoughts I had when I brought my dark urge and romanced Karlach to face Gortash.

Description: Having just survived a divine revelation from daddy dearest Bhaal and making your way to Wyrm's Rock, you're a little shaken but ready to face whatever Gortash may throw at you. You wanted to see Karlach have her revenge as sure as it was your own. Yet... something familiar and strange stirs within your blackened heart when you look at Gortash. And most frighteningly, he looks to you the same.

Rating: sfw

Word Count: 2678 3037

Notes: Happy 4:30 am I got off work and like a man possessed wrote this. It's not edited (yet) but if I don't post this and get validation I may just fucking die so. Have this terrible little brain baby! I just think it would be so tastey. No one wins here btw!

oh this is huge spoilers for dark urge/act 3 btw! I took some liberties but it's my fanfiction and I can if I want to

Edited: 10/1/23 (read it and there was a lot of mistakes lol)

Curiosity has guided you far, in this adventure. It’s helped you find the pieces of your past life, both those that proved to be a boon and that which you would have rather left buried. You’ve repressed your dark urges, fought them, proved to yourself and your allies, and especially your lover, that you’re better than that. Better than the person you once were. Better than what your father would have you be.

And it’s never been more clear than when you stand before Gortash now. You can feel Karlach before you, bristling at seeing his face. The way Wyll panics at seeing his father, obviously not himself. Gale, too, is is all wound up-- the emotions held in this room are fit to burst, and you and Gortash are the center of it.

You felt a flicker of it before, when seeing his face in the Ilithid colony beneath Moonrise. There was familiarity there; not the burning hatred that seized your heart when you looked at Orin, nor the cool indifference you felt upon taking Kethric’s life but something far different. The closet thing to normal you felt from your previous life. It scared you more than the murder, than the blood on your hands and the bile burning the back of your tongue.

He felt like home. A feeling you thought only Karlach could bring about you, of calm and happiness acceptance and all things nice and lovely that father would surely disapprove of. And when he speaks, when his disgusting honeyed voice and hardened gazes softens upon landing to you, when “My favorite assassin,” leaves his silvered tongue, you can see whispers of the past before you.

A part of it, mind, you might have preferred to keep lost. It comes in flashes and fuzzy moments, in warm feelings and beating heart. Your hand, held in his; your lips lost together. Bodies tangled and thoughts lost... You linger in those memories a moment, remembering how right it all felt. And thinking, how funny, even back then you were pulling away from father's puppet strings.

As you come back to the present, you're left stunned silent a moment, as his words flow in one ear and out of the other. This is Gortash-- the man who sold Karlach to the Arch Devil Zariel, who abducted Wyll’s father and whose manipulating the cult of the absolute and all the people of Baldur’s gate all at once-- and he’s the man who helped you learn what love is.

It's also so sickeningly familiar, the way your heartbeat picks up upon meeting his gaze. How he reserves an easy smile just for you, even if you’ve seen it hundreds of times. You have to close your eyes, to reach out and take Karlach’s hand despite how hot she’s grown. It's almost too much for you, to remember how happy you were with Gortash when you've been fighting for so long to find a way to keep being happy with Karlach.

“Solider?” Even through her own anger, her own disgust and sorrow and rage and madness, Karlach pauses, (your whole party does, in fact) in seeing the familiarity between the two of you. Seeing the effect Gortash has on you, their dauntless leader, their dear friend. If only they knew who they were calling their ally now...

“Holy shit,” Is all you can manage out in the moment. So many thoughts, little forgotten memories blink past your eyes. Karlach squeezes your hand, and you squeeze back just to let her know you’re still there.

“I didn’t think I’d have quite that strong of an effect on you,” he chuckles and you hate how you can tell it’s from genuine affection, and not twisted glee. He truly is glad to see you-- and why shouldn’t he be? It can't have been that long ago that the two of you were lovers.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” You have to steel yourself in front of him, in front of your friends. But how can you deny it? Things have always been this way between the two of you. Delicate and strange and so wrong as to feel right.

“It’s nice to see you haven’t changed.” That charming smile, turned business as he turns to face your party whole. “I was worried, after Orin did you in. But I should have known you would return, find your way back to me.” He’s all confidence as he speaks, and you notice its mostly to you. It’s almost as if the room isn’t filled with courtesans, as if your party isn’t there to back you up. Like you aren’t clutching to Karlach like a lifeline.

“You’ll… have to fill in the finer details.” You admit softly, frown fitting your face. “I’ve reclaimed bits and pieces of my former memory but I’m afraid much of my former…” You hesitate as you consider who you were before all this “...life is beyond me.” You decide to remain as passe as possible. But perhaps he already knows you remember. Actually, your certain he does-- there’s a look of mischief twinkling in his eyes that surely only you can see. But cruelty is in his nature, as begets the chosen of Bane. You’re lucky, then, that for you, and only you, his urge can be diminished into something a little more charming.

“Why, without you this cult would be nothing! Well, without us.” He laughs again and you can feel your companions eyes upon you. “You and I came up with this whole plan-- to steal the crown of Karsus, overpower the elder brain, and use its powers to create a loyal army of cultists… if Orin hadn’t overthrown you, things wouldn’t be near a mess as they are now.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, a sigh fitting past his lips. “That sister of yours is quite the handful, and far less careful about controlling her urges. Why, with you back, and with Kethric’s nether stone no less, I dare say we have a chance to get things back in line again.”

“_____, what is he talking about? Why is he talking like he knows you?” Karlach’s voice tears through your thoughts, just as you feel her warm hand leave yours, and your party's gaze all land on you.

“Oh Karlach, dear sweet Karlach…” Gortash speaks again. “Are you certain you want to hear that?” Your breath hitches as he speaks. You were hoping Gortash would have more decorum than to admit what the two of you once hand. Perhaps its obvious to him how you feel about Karlach now. Maybe you looked at him the same way, once; maybe you are now.

Perhaps then, it's jealously that causes him to speak. You can't imagine how he must feel, seeing someone he got rid of so long ago stroll up with the person he thought was taken from him. Yes, now that you think about it, that would make him quite mad...

“You shut the fuck up, Gortash!” Karlach raises her voice before you even think to speak; Gortash merely smirks, speaks again with mockery lacing his tone.

“Indeed, _____, why don’t you enlighten your friends, your lover, about your past self?” Your name spoken from his lips was so, so nice. It made you ache in a sickeningly familiar way. And so too, was the venom in his when he spoke of your lover. Of Karlach…

“They know,” You manage to croak out. “With the tadpole they saw… saw the vision my father sent to me.” One that you had gotten hardly an hour before coming here, even. That you were a Bhaalspawn, of your dearest fathers own flesh. That you were his chosen before Orin struck you down. You knew that wasn't what he met. You were desperate to hide this-- like when your urge first overcame you, when that poor girl Alfira's blood stained your hands and camp...

“Then surely, you remember, about us?” Daring as ever, Gortash moves forward, to cup your chin tenderly with his gauntlet that held his nether stone.

How easy it would be, to twist the arm that dared hold you, to rip that precious nether stone from the sorry hand that dared touch your hallowed flesh.

“Us? What is he talking about?” You could hear the desperation in Karlach’s tone, even if you couldn’t see her. Your eyes were locked with Gortash’s, lost in them really. “_____, why are you letting him touch you?” Even from here, you could feel her heat. She was angry, so angry that he dare touch you. But scared, too. Scared that you weren't even trying to stop him.

You tear away from Gortash’s intense gaze, gently remove his hand from your person and ignore your urge. And so to, ignore the urge to reach out for Gortash in return. So many parts of yourself you have to deny, it was getting hard to know what’s really you…

“Fine. Fine!” You raise your own voice, uncaring of the puppets in the room. You turn to Karlach, to the only reason you’ve gotten this far. “You deserve to know anyways.” Still, you heave a sigh, for what is a heavier burden than the truth? “Yes, before Orin betrayed me, I was the chosen of Bhaal. But beyond that…” Even still, as the truth lingers on your lips, tingles on the tip of your tongue, you hesitate as you meet Karlach’s gaze-- as you filter to Gale and Wyll as well.

Your breath dies a moment as you see how worried they are for you. You’re scarcely worth such kindness, moreso from such good people as them. “Gortash and I were… close. Far closer than any plan may have merited. One might have even called it love, if you believe such evil capable of it.” You admit, looking to the floor. You wouldn’t be able to take the look of betrayal in their faces, nor the grin Gortash surely wore.

“I…” You can feel the way the anger leaves Karlach. Even if she didn’t want to show it you can feel through that dammed tadpole how numb she suddenly feels. “Right. You guys finish” She gestures vaguely to you, to Gortash “whatever the hell this is. I gotta go.” You don’t even have the heart to stop her. Don’t have the courage to watch her retreating form.

“Karlach, hold on!” Gale is quick to follow. You’d have to thank him for that. For doing what you should be doing. You can feel Wyll’s hesitation. But he stays. You’d have to thank him too. You don’t want to be alone (as much as the word means in a room fool of likely tadpoled individuals like yourself) with Gortash right now. Even if Wyll is just staying for his own father.

“There she goes.” Gortash is brazen now, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you in to his chest. You don’t know if it’s right to be this close to him, to hug him like you so desperately want to. “I do miss our time together. We could be still be together, work together. It would be my honor to restore you to your former glory-- to help you regain your title as Bhaal’s chosen once more.” The idea fills you with twisted glee. You recall, with errie smile, how Gortash was once wrapped around your little finger. How easy it could be to twist him to your designs, and kill him when it suited you most. How it would please father, how it would only make you stronger, to get such a distraction out of your life.

“That’s not who I am anymore.” You say with much force, creating some distance between you and Gortash. You're not sure if its about the two of you being together, or you being Bhaal's chosen. Still, he does not falter. He gets down on one knee before you, looking up at you with adoration. You hate it. You love it. It’s disgusting and beautiful and you know this isn’t the first time he’s been on his knees for you. Play your cards right, it may not even be his last.

“Even so, I can see how much your heart cries out for revenge. You mean to kill Orin, and as it happens I want her dead as well.” Again, beautiful hands, coveted nether stone, circle around your own. “We could rule together. Even your little… friends.” This was your plan, after all. Your genius that got this terrible cult going.

“Just what are you proposing?” You can’t help but squeeze his hands. Can’t deny the beat of your heart-- for the evil within must hear this promise of power. Coming from a man you may even still hold dear a part so strong it can't look away.

“We reforge our alliance. Bring our empire to fruition. My steel watch won’t harm you, so long as you kill Orin and bring her nether stone back.”

“_____…” Wyll’s voice surprises you. For a moment, it really was you and Gortash, and the empire you stood to create. “I know this must be a hard decision for you. Gortash seems to know you better than you do yourself this moment. But we need to consider all our options.” He reminds you. Pushing you towards neither extremes at this moment. A level head when yours was, as always, a shambling mess. "Remember how far we've come. How far you've come."

“That’s not a decision I can make right now.” You admit, hastily pulling away from Gortash. His face falters a little as he rises to his feet. “There’s a lot I need to consider.” When he stands tall again, looking to you, that familiar cocky grin is again in place.

“I understand. You always make the right choice in the end. But, just to prove my loyalty,” That word stings just a little. You hadn’t proved loyal to most anyone who trusted you, at least in this particular moment. “I’ll share this with you; an impostor is at your camp, right now.” You frown again as you look to him.

“Orin…” You grit your teeth as you consider your sister, how any one of the people you had come to trust with your life could be the backstabber herself.

“So if I were you, I’d act quick.” He smiles at you but you see how it doesn’t meet his eyes. “So, my dear, why don’t you stay for my coronation?” He laughs softly as he turns towards Duke Ravengard, who seems more statue than man at this moment.

You do just that, watch with wary gaze and heavy heart as Enver Gortash is ordained ‘Archduke Gortash’. Many tough decisions lie ahead of you and you couldn’t will yourself to think on a single one of them as you watched Gortash rise with a new fervor. He seeks your gaze, your approval, as the room erupts with applause. But it’s high time you left, to figure out what to do next.

You climb down the barren halls of Wyrm’s Rock with Wyll, unsure what to say or do next. You feel like you’ve had enough adventure and learning of your old life for once day, but of course Gortash gave you fear to return to your own camp as well…

“Are you alright?” Wyll stops you as you slowly walk towards the south span of Wyrm’s rock, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You jump at his touch, only to sigh and relax when you realize it's just him.

“No not really, that was a lot for me.” You admit with a shaky laugh.

“I… were you truly involved with Gortash before… well, before?” He frowns, the look on his face hard to read.

“I… yes. I was.” It would be no use to lie.

“And now?” He asks, unexpectedly. “What now?”

“What now indeed.” You sigh and lean into him. Wyll supports your weight with a good natured hug. “I love Karlach, Wyll. I love her so much. But… old feelings linger in my twisted mind. Gortash was…” You shake your head. How can you explain that who you were, who you use to be… Gortash was the only person that you respected? That seemed to understand you, to meet you at your level? Even now as you thought of it, more cursed thoughts of your time together came back to you. It hurt, mentally and physically.

“I can’t say I understand, friend, but I know yours is a troubled past.” He pulls back from you, smile fitting his handsome face. “I think it would be best for us to head back to camp for the day.” He guides you that way, and you decide to follow his judgment.

“I just… hope that Karlach is okay. Had I known, I…” You shake your head. How could you have known? In a past life, you were lovers with the very man that ruined her life. The man that made it difficult for you two to even start a relationship to begin with.

“Rest, friend. You can’t of helped that.” You nod. He was right. But that still left you in the middle of some ridiculous love triangle…

You just have to decide, dearest, darkest urge, who is most important to you; Enver Gortash, Bane’s Chosen, tyrant of Baldur’s Gate and the matching mind to your own criminal plot to rule it all… or Karlach Cliffgate, the woman he ruined in the pursuit of his own power, and the one you promised to help end him.

Either way, there would be betrayal. Heartbreak. And fighting, for sure.

You could, of course, kill them both. That would solve so many problems for you! Feed your urge, please your father, and remove any obstacle that would distract from your goal. Wouldn’t it be delicious, to drink in their desire, thinking they’ve won your favor-- only for you to break that precious trust as their bodies twist under your blade…

This all of course assuming you could fight off your dark urge still... Rest would not come easy tonight, if at all. But it wouldn't be the first time. Come what may, you would forge your path forward.

[vibingandsimping]

I see you write for skyrim are you interested in crossovers? If so can I tell you my ideas for TES dragonborn coming ov3r to Baldur's Gate and Gortash being interested in her not only for her power but old strings still attached. Maybe she stood against him and he saw her as an equal. Or what about a daedric prince such as Molag Bal trying to invade BG3 because he failed to cross over from Oblivion to Skyrim. Or what about something like the Dark brotherhood in BG3? What about moral conflicted Tav/DB who joined the DB when she was in Skyrim and Gortash finding out then him trying to encourage the darkness in her especially if she's the listener? So she's already prone to hearing the evil whispers of the Night Mother, commanding her assassinations. Gortash would find her ability to shout and control dragons very useful.

Crossovers are definitely an interesting concept! Would be willing to write for them more.

The idea of Durge and being a listener would be… interesting. You’re already serving the purpose as an assassin pre-tadpole as durge. Durge who becomes the listener when the two worlds collide. The Night Mother taking a shining to their ruthless and sadistic nature. Or perhaps a listener who Bhaal takes a liking to? They end up worshipping Bhaal alongside The Night Mother.

Gortash would definitely take an interest in a dragonborn Tav. Previously, Githyanki are the only ones with an affinity to tame dragons and command them. Someone with the natural born ability to not only command them but imitate them? You are truly a force to be reckoned with. He’d want you by his side, Dark Brotherhood or not, promising you anything to get you there. He’ll find a way to return you home, assure you a seat in luxury… whatever it takes. However if he’s telling the truth at all is up for debate. There may be something in his words besides false lies disguised. The praise he sings with his tongue on your strength and his fascination is true. He’d love to see how you worked as a being from another dimension. How did you get to this realm?

Molag Bal invading with you. You’re unbeknownst to it at first- seemingly caught up in this strange world. He followed suite- perhaps the reason you’re here in the first place. You smell trouble when you sense his presence and you knew this would only complicate things. One of the daedric princes always meant something nasty (even if you sold your soul to one or more). Power came corruption.

I also think Orin and Withers would be quite interested in you. Orin, for reasons similar to Gortash, regarding your power and capabilities. Instead of an alliance she wants to see it first hand. To peel back your layers of skin like an onion and sacrifice a being of another realm to Bhaal. Withers in a more practical sense. How did you get here? He’d love to chat and inspect you. Offering you whatever support he could aid in your journey home (or settling down here if it doesn’t warp or rip reality?)

EDIT: FIRM BELIEVER THAT CICERO AND ASTARION WOULD BE FRIENDS.

[smallnico]

I gotta know because I'm having a blast with her in my party: would Minthara and Esper get along well or would they hate each other?

🥺💕

asking me about esper.. on a random weekday..... oh i am so blessed thank u so much

to answer your question though!! it's complicated. i've played 2 full games as esper, one before you could save minthara without killing the tieflings and one after, because i wanted to find out the answer to this very question (among other things).

the short answer is that they hate each other, lol. but there's nuance to that, so! under the cut bc it's long!

from a character perspective, the most in-character thing for esper to do is kill her -- they're half-drow, so the first thing she said to them was a comment about their impure blood, which they did NOT care for, and then she immediately started talking about slaughtering those druids and putting those tieflings that our new allies wyll and karlach care about in harm's way. she gave them basically nothing but green lights that it was okay to kill her, and generally speaking, esper doesn't need much of an excuse (they struggled with recruiting karlach for a bit and they were disappointed they didn't get to kill kagha, for instance), so not only were they forced to kill her, they were pretty excited to kill her.

(sidenote: part of that excitement is a pavlovian response from their childhood. one thing their matron did to help esper channel their urges while she was training them to be an assassin was fully endorse them practicing their skills on anyone they caught questioning their half-human parentage or gender, so long as they could do it well enough to get away with it. this means they react to people being racist toward them with excitement, because it means This Is An Acceptable Murder And I Am Going To Do It Fuck Yes. they racked up a pretty extensive kill count after they got to baldur's gate for this reason, too.)

all this to say, the first time around i didn't get to know minthara and her dynamic with esper much. the second time around, she was a bit glitchy, since the ability to save her had only just been implemented -- a lot of her banter with other party members wouldn't trigger, she was completely naked for the entire span of time between meeting ketheric and rescuing her from the prison, and i think i only got to ask her like 2 questions to get to know her? -- so that didn't help much, but from what i did learn about her dynamic with esper was that oh my god they both hate each other so fucking much. they just cannot stand each other. they have so much in common but the things that are different are enormous dealbreakers for both of them and it's almost hilarious. esper couldn't get through one in character conversation with minthara without her disapproving of Something they said. she wants so badly to enable the behaviours they're actively working to stop cycling through. the funniest fucking glitch i got with her was after we saved her from orin, the narrator demanded on her behalf that i literally pay her so she wouldn't walk away, that was how bad their relationship was. i'm Sure that was a glitch but it was wild.

zooming out from the game though, i mean it when i say esper and minthara have a lot in common (even if esper doesn't quite remember a lot of it). they both grew up in menzoberranzan, both of their earliest childhood memories are of surviving murder attempts, they both trained in combat academies (minth in tier breche, probably melee-magthere, and esper in the hidden academy at house auvy'rae), they were both forced to abandon lolth and the underdark by the dead three, they were both mutilated by orin, they were both forced to live for a period committing atrocities on behalf of a quasi-deity who sapped them both of their will to resist. esper and minthara have similar approaches to violence -- seeing it as necessary and enjoyable, but something to be used sparingly to best effect -- though they disagree on when it should be used. they even have similar senses of humour -- minthara likes a bit of cruel irony, and we all know the line about the man who married a drider, while esper is deadpan with a secret love for stupid jokes and mischief.

where they differ the most is on the matter of power. minthara, as we all know, is a properly power-hungry person who takes great joy in accruing and showing off power. she's completely on board with using the tadpoles, she wants her allies to have the most power they could have, whatever the fallout is for them personally (thinking specifically about astarion's ascension, which she's totally on board with, and dj shadowheart, where she says something to the effect of "shadowheart absolutely shouldn't go through with this ritual, shar is a poisonous influence, but it would be better for Us if she did"). she encourages esper to take over the cult of the absolute -- something i know for a fact astarion does too, but for some reason that line never triggered for either esper game -- and she wants them to take back the cult of bhaal, too. all that runs pretty completely contrary to the way that esper wants to live. esper rejects the tadpoles outright because they find the idea of injecting another squirming alien consciousness into their brain (when they already have the urges and the voice of bhaal and the incomprehensible flashes of emotions and memories from a past they can't remember), especially one that lets other people poke around in their thoughts, completely revolting and terrifying. the power is Not worth it to them, they just want to be left alone for once in their life. they didn't even want to run the cult of bhaal when they actually were in charge of it -- they liked the menial aspects of it, things like bookkeeping and arranging rituals and planning murders and getting their hands dirty, but they hated being the center of attention. weird for a bard, but they were trained to work unseen and listen and manipulate subtly more than anything, so they're extremely out of their comfort zone when a lot of emphasis is put on them. as far as they're concerned, visible and showy power makes a person helpless and a target (one of the other reasons i decided to play again was because i accidentally let gale ascend in the first run, and esper also hated that and thought he was an idiot. and tara got mad at me and that made me sad. sorry tara i'll do anything for you).

minthara seeks power and esper rejects power. she respects shows of power, and they only show off their actual power to people who are about to die, so they can keep the element of surprise wherever possible. so many of their core conflicts would occur because she thinks they're weak-willed and they think she's foolish, and because she thinks they're weak, she tries to control them, which makes esper start snarling and biting, and the game didn't really let me resolve that. it only gets worse when you start getting into things like drow race and gender politics -- bhaal created esper to have as bad of a time as possible in menzoberranzan as both a half-human and a redundant male child that killed their mother in childbirth -- and especially class politics -- since minthara is a baenre, she is (or was) a member of menzo's top house, and esper is an auvy'rae, a member (born into, disowned, and adopted back into) of a house known for purposefully cultivating an uncompetitive and nonthreatening public reputation (so they can focus on hidden intrigue, information brokering, and pulling the strings away from public scrutiny). minthara may not be aligned with lolth anymore, but 300 years of drow politics is hard as fuck to unlearn, and every time she addresses esper like they're a surfacer (which she does, because in-game that's how half-drow are classified -- surfacer by underdark races, underdark by surfacer races) they feel the urge to kill her again, even though they don't have their Concrete memories to contradict her.

then of course there's the fact that they're trying so hard to resist the urge to do violence. esper has no problem with normal violence, but they try to manage their internal drive toward Cruelty by focusing those impulses on people who really deserve it. bhaal's influence makes them feel a deep and disorienting loss of control during moments of violence and cruelty, so they go from "yes violence good let's do violence" at the beginning of the game to "i'm really good at killing and it feels so fucking good to do but i can't, i don't want to be ruled by the drive to do harm just because i can justify my focus on it because i'm good at it, i want to learn how to be something else, something that hasn't been tainted by my terrible past. so i'll try very hard to kill only when it's appropriate and i'll try to rely on my friends to tell me when that is". smash cut to minthara telling them to cut off a child's hand for pickpocketing lmao,

so, yeah. i love minthara, but esper really doesn't lol. i think she just provokes the Old Esper to come out of them way too often for their comfort -- they want their memories back, but they'd like to be in control of the process. i've tried to write party banter between esper and minthara and it always comes out extremely hostile and unpleasant. unfortunately, the most in-character thing for esper to do is kill her and really enjoy doing it. if they had the ability to understand each other's core approaches to power and violence, though, i think they could be pretty good friends, especially seeing as astarion has a lot of the same issues as minthara does vis a vis power and violence in contrast to esper, and esper is closer to astarion than anyone else in the party.

i have another durge run going where i'm going to try and be evil to get to know a different side of minthara, though! i might change the answer depending on what i can learn there.

[negentropies]

every day i lay in bed and think about what we could have had with a separate upper city region ...

putting gortash's coronation in the upper city feat. the entire party being escorted (read: forcibly taken to) an after-party where they can have a slightly more secluded chat with the rat himself. u get a proper baldurian welcome, a durge infodump (if applicable), the offer of an alliance, and a pass to go between the upper and lower cities as you like

gortash gives a wink and a nudge and mentions that a certain patriar by the name of cazador szarr has been stepping on his toes. if you just happen to leave his palace covered in blood and he disappears from the public eye forever after that, you'll get no grief from the steel watch or the flaming fist

SPEAKING OF THE STEEL WATCH. there's an npc who mentions wanting a steel watcher in every baldurian home. so how about an upper city that's an actual big brother surveillance state nightmare. putting the consequences of an alliance with gortash on full display and showing the true insidiousness of him and the cult of bane, and showing exactly what you'd be subjecting the city to if you take his deal

keeping orin as the central antagonist of the lower city, and only having her kidnap a companion after you've defeated gortash to make sure u follow through with fighting her. put saving that companion on a long rest time limit. it really seems like the game is trying to steer you towards defeating orin last since going through the murder tribunal is one of the more annoying side quests, and the morphic pool is right by the temple of bhaal. however right now she's a pretty easy fight and there's no real benefit to allying with her over gortash, and her kidnapping a companion makes you a lot more motivated to go after her first.

not to sound like one of those people who play with nightmare difficulty mods bc they think tactician is too easy, but making the iron throne and the steel watch foundry harder. in exchange for promising to blow up the foundry, make the ironhand gnomes help commandeer the iron throne submarine since clearly you shouldn't know how to do it. make that a point of no return where pissing off gortash puts the entirety of baldur's gate and the foundry on lockdown. you are public enemy #1 in a city with eyes (and swords) literally everywhere, actively hunted by steel watchers and forced to take to the (bhaalist-controlled) sewers to take out the foundry. your rooms in the elfsong are tossed by the flaming fist, and any companions not in your party get taken as hostages. a sense of urgency to it all.

the zhentarim as a more explicit extension of bane's black hand and of gortash trying to branch out his influence into the sewers. giving more presence to the bane cult would extend to the clashes between the guild and the zhents (who are a more socially acceptable subgroup of the banites in canon anyway), and if you took out orin before turning on gortash you could still have allies in the guild.

splitting orin and gortash into separate regions and making their respective fights much harder would put a lot more weight on your possible alliances. gortash could potentially help raid the bhaal temple, while orin could help break gortash's surveillance state. being wishy-washy and not making any promises wouldn't earn you their help but neither would it earn you their wrath, while making a deal and then breaking it would make that respective region a lot more difficult to add actual consequences to your decisions

an orin that's still just as deranged but has a strange, magnetic kind of charisma to her—the chaotic evil anarchist to gortash's unyielding hand of lawful evil. she promises freedom and rebellion to the underclasses of baldur's gate: the very same underclasses with gortash's tyrannical jackboot on their throat. she drips venom into the ears of the patriars. aren't you tired of playing second fiddle to your father? isn't this title meant to be yours? assassinations wreaking havoc among gortash's chief supporters, and a changeling wearing the skin of those he knows best. durge may have been the mastermind behind this plot, but what about an orin that's clever and charismatic and far, far more dangerous if only because she's a completely unknown quantity. an orin that gortash has reason to be scared of.

two regions would also free up wyrm's rock just to be used for wyll's personal quest and as a ravengard-specific set-piece, (AND fighting ansur after blowing up the steel foundry wouldn't aggro random flaming fists in the floors above and have them run around uselessly while ur fighting)

and of course. upper city karlach quest.

[anab-starr]

The List of BG3 OC's... so far

Resist-o-Durge: Oona, The Ghost Spider of Bhaal Szarkai Cleric of Eilistraee/Monk

Born of a ritual where an Underdark cult force-fed the flesh of Bhaal to a drider. She was then unceremoniously dumped above ground at the doors of an Eilistraeean church. Oona grew up with love, compassion, and a firm belief in redemption no matter the crime.

When the Slayer came for her, she razed the Church to the ground after murdering everybody inside.

Canon: Loves Gale Besties w/ Shadowheart & Astarion Hasn't killed any of the named drow. Nere, Drouin, Araj, Minty... all safe!

Yes that includes "he's drow enough" Kar'niss. She just knocked him out, dragged him somewhere safe, and left a moonlantern beside him for when he came to.

Crazy Fanon: Has a li'l Gortling daughter. I imagine the reunion would be Gortash bringing her to his office after she gets rid of Orin and being like "I mean you could kill me instead of helping me, but wow that would really upset OUR CHILD." Oona doesn't know this but the baby is exactly what caused her to rethink her Absolute plans. She didn't want to destroy the world for Father anymore, she wanted the world to be worthy of her Gortling! And maybe she could convince bae to just settle for Archduke of Baldur's Gate! She went to Moonrise Towers to talk to Ketheric about her second thoughts since she felt he'd be most apt to listen whether or not he agreed.

And that's when Orin struck.

Next, ANOTHER DURGE!

Embrace the Durge (for now): Edeva the Black Tiefling Rogue/Assassin

I wanted to do a tiefling version of Origin Durge, I just love the creepy white and red look. I don't know her background yet, I just know she has one rule: TIEFLINGS ARE OFF LIMITS. Everyone else is fair game, but when she walked in on Lump the Enlightened eating a tiefling, she went berserk. She also did not allow Lae'zel to be mean to Zorru.

But those Gnolls... were SO COOL.

Anyway, here's what I have of her: Canon: Crushing on Karlach, no besties yet :( unless you count Sceleritas Fel? Does NOT like Raphael, very much scared of him, even though she's the one who gets that good Devil-D in all my RaphxTav fanfics ^^;; Crazy Fanon: She's Orin's #1 hype gal, believes in her art skills, beat the absolute snot out of Sarevok for, as she puts it, "being mean to my girl". I figure, Sarevok is the driving force behind manipulating Orin into replacing Eva as Chosen because the thinks this Absolute Cult stuff is a waste of time and he feels Bhaal has better uses for Edeva.

My very first Tav, Meadowlark High Elf Druid/Circle of Spores

She's a Bard and a Druid, a happy woman with an 8 year old son who was playing with friends when the Nautiloid showed up. She hopes her kid's ok, neither one of them expected her to be kidnapped and tadpole'd. She did send word via the grove that she was alive and getting home ASAP.

She's giving me wicked Mommy vibes, which is why I felt she should have a child already. No romantic prospects at the moment with how badly she mother-hens her companions. She's especially protective of Lae'zel because of the gith's youth and naiveté.

That being said, she's crushing heavily on Barcus Wroot, and she hasn't met fellow druid Halsin yet...

Funny thing is, she's inspired by someone else's character! A long time ago I was in a Dragon Age fanart group on FB and someone created a mage named Meadowlark. The inspo pic the person used was of an absolutely gorgeous Turkish model. When I saw this face mod (Vamperen's Head's 2.0 I believe) I thought "omg that looks like Meadowlark!" and decided to make her a Tav.

Crazy Fanon: Her son is still in Baldur's Gate waiting for her... just not at home... :/

[a-drama-addict]

im pretty sure tumblr straight up gobbled up my ask from yesterday (if not um, whoops sorry!) so belated sigrid swednesday ask game submission: 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21, 24, 25, 27, 30

happy sigrid swednesday thursday everyone. [ask game]

6. How would the player go about meeting them in Act 1? What is their introduction?

Ohh probably the ruins where you can find Withers, arguing with the people there. "Let me in or I'll cut you." Being the first thing you hear probably. When you walk in on it she'll probably point her weapon at you, biggest scowl on her face. Though you can quickly tell by her demeanor she's more scared than actually a threat (at the moment.) You can choose to either talk her down, encourage the attack, or attack her. The first two options can actually lead into her recruitment.

7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one?

Sigrid's main arc would definitely be whether she becomes an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal or not. She is generally more inclined towards doing it if you don't intervene, because if left to just her own instincts it's.. "Kill, kill, kill again" quite literally.

But she can be pretty easily persuaded into a path of light, especially if you have high approval.

I think helping would mostly involve intervening (quite literally) when she wants to submit to the urge. Like you could stop her from killing Alfira, stop her from sharing the Grove's location with Minthara (she'll try to regardless if the player does or not.)

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

Post-game she would probably just live in Baldur's Gate, helping rebuild. She'll talk of the possibility of moving elsewhere, because the city has so many negative memories for her.

She does have a job as a writer now! She tries to write true crime books which get.. reviews on being eerily realistic with some gory details.

11. What is your Tav’s go-to comfort food?

Oh beef steak definitely! She likes the texture and taste combo, feel like she'd love to eat that.

12. Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why?

Yep! She has one right across her face, and her neck. Both self-inflicted, in a show of worship to Bhaal when she was just getting initiated you know. She has a tattoo that's just a stripe from the edge of her lower lip to her chin.. because she thought it looked cool when she was like twenty.

13. What is your Tav’s main color palette? Why do they choose those colors?

BROWNS AND BLACKS!!! SHE LIKES THE NEUTRALITY!!! IT DOESNT HURT HER EYES!!!

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

Sigrid is pretty fond of learning how to read! Because of her lobotomy (thanks orin) she has to relearn how to do this and she actually practices a lot with Karlach and Gale. I kind of rambled about this in my other post in my tags- but this is based on dialogue you can have with Karlach about reading together. Since she has to relearn I imagine reading with Karlach and sometimes Gale helps her and genuinely entertains her.

18. Where/with whom do they feel safest?

Karlach!! Unsurprisingly. But Karlach is truly the only person who she can.. confide in, be quiet and stay in spot, never worry about saying the wrong thing. (Not that she can't say anything wrong, but she's less stressed about it with Karlach.)

20. What is their relationship to touch? Do they shy away from it? Do they need it to feel present?

complicated. From some people she craves it, she kind of wants it every day at the very least, to feel something, to feel real. (i.e. Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart.) But with most others she'll snap if she's touched without a go-ahead or warning. (Snap as in get annoyed.)

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today!

Hmmm this sweet moment she had with Orin when they were both kids in the Bhaal temple where she braided her hair. They talked normally about things for a moment, about things they like. (In their weird, bhaalspawn ways maybe.) Both had an affinity to art, Orin was the painter whereas Sigrid was the storyteller. It was a connection of creativity and care, and through it she puts a lot of value in art and hair

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

Incompetency. She feels she's incompetent at.. a lot. (Emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, battle, writing, reading, music- practically everything. Except for killing. She's good at that in her eyes.) Though she rarely shows this insecurity.

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

HMMMMMM. Even through the negative associations she has with BG, she'd defend that damn city from any negative reputation with her life.

27. What is the worst thing they’ve ever done/said to someone they love?

Ohhh. Hm. Well there's this line from a wip i'm not even remotely done to finishing where she tells Karlach, during one of her.. lets say Dark Urge moments where she practically tells Karlach "I'd kill you just to send you back to the Hells, Hell-dog." Karlach would argue that's not really 'Sigrid' though, it is, but it also isn't. Sig apologizes profusely the next morning, its definitely the one of the things she regrets saying most or even thinking. The Urge is nasty, and its the blight of her existence until its gone.

30. What does your Tav want more than anything?

Freedom, peace. The sense that when she wakes up and makes a decision it's hers and no one else's.

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - A Baldurs Gate fanfiction - part 3

Chapter 3 - The Chosen Three…Again?

Gale and I step into the building of the Inn after a fresh stroll through Waterdeep, which smells of freshly baked sourdough bread and blueberry muffins. Quite the pleasure to the senses, I must say. It reminds me of innocent days where my mother would bake me a delicious homemade breakfast twice a week before going to the temple to pray to Sȇlune. As we enter the Inn, I notice a couple high elves and a dwarf playing some morning tunes on the lute and flutes to set the mood for those morning people. Rolan is sitting down at a table alone with his cup of coffee. Rolan’s face lights up as he notices us approach him.

“Ah! My friends, come sit!” Gale and I accompany him at the table and immediately a waitress hands us our menus. “It’s good to see you both. And how nice it is to get away for a little while.”

“How has it been at the tower?” Gale asks with a welcoming tone. “Are you practicing becoming a master wizard? I wouldn’t doubt it if you’re there already.”

“Ah, you’re too kind. Unfortunately, I’m not where I want to be just yet. I’m only improving every day. I’m having to partake in my studies more frequently, as well as teaching Cal and Lia the wonders of magic. Just in case anything happens to me. Enough about my life story.” He studies our baby, smiling but looking rather perplexed. “Say, you’ve had your baby for a while now, right? Or am I going mad as a hatter?” Crap! We never told him our situation and that Jenevelle won’t ever age.

“Whew, it’s a very long story, but here it goes,” I mention, mentally preparing myself for his reaction. I go into detail with him about what happened with Jenevelle and how the devils needed her soul to destroy Raphael. How we were promised immortality and that the outcome would have been torture if we didn’t do what we did. As I explain, he looks rather astonished and I can’t exactly tell if he’s judging me.

“Oh Gods, I’m… I’m so sorry. That could not have been an easy predicament to be in. I’m glad it all worked out in the end, at least.” Abruptly, as Gale begins speaking to Rolan, the sounds around me become muffled and my vision fades to darkness, but like a cloud of smoke. This has happened to me before, ages ago…right after I had Jenevelle. Images of Gortash, Orin, and even Ketheric appear right in front of my very eyes, and it’s as if they’re actually here. Holy shit.

“Hello Emmy.” Gortash’s voice still sounds the same, though I can tell hatred is being spat right at me. I swallow the fear and horror as his haunting voice speaks to me. Tell me I’m fucking dreaming and this isn’t happening. I guess if mind flayers can change forms and hags can curse people, anything is possible.

“Well, are you going to say anything, or just sit there silently, mentally squirming at our words as we claw our way into your soul? You’re wasting every second that could be used to slaughter every breathing piece of flesh left standing,” Orin teases, flashing her bloody teeth as she smiles.

“Quiet, Orin. Emmy, dear, we’ve been watching you. My, you are quite the impressive specimen, killing not only all three of us, but the netherbrain itself. You even destroyed countless assassins of Bhaal. I’m impressed. It’s a shame you didn’t put that talent to use and dominate the brain like I instructed before. So inconsiderate and stupid.” I try to speak, but I’m interrupted by Ketheric.

“If you make a single sound, your husband, your friend, and everyone else in this building will hear you. Choose wisely,” he growls, smirking at me. I clench my fists, feeling rage flush through me as I fight off the urge to speak.

“Now, as I was saying,” Gortash retorts, cracking his knuckles. “Imagine all of the lives you could have saved by dominating the brain. You could have controlled all the Bhaal cultists –”

“No, no, no, no, NO! You tyrant, are you listening to yourself?!”

“Unlike you, Orin, I crave control. Power. Not the deaths and flesh of millions of people. Not the screams of the innocent begging for mercy.” This is absolute chaos – no pun intended. Why do they feel the need to harass me, even after their deaths? How is this even happening? They must have been the unsettling presence I felt last night; what else could it be? So many questions are rummaging through my head, gnawing at my brain like animals.

“You will pay for what you did. On the contrary…we are able to create another elder brain,” Gortash adds. How I want to respond to his pathetic words, how I want to pin him against a wall and kill him again.

“If our gods are willing to provide the means of this happening,” Ketheric chimes in, his eyes practically staring Gortash down as a means of dominance, which is a foolish idea. They must not realize I’m immortal. If they do, they’re really good at pretending to be completely unaware. What I do know is that they know something I don’t; at least Gortash does. His disturbing and ominous smirk is hinting that he’s hiding some sort of secret from me.

“Oh, poor little baby, too afraid to speak. To cry. To do our bidding or ask questions.” Orin laughs as she speaks, licking her bloody fingers as she gazes hauntingly into my soul with her pale eyes. Gortash closes his eyes.

“We’ll speak again soon.” Those words alone were the most disturbing out of everything he said; what does he mean by that? I know damn well Gortash is keeping something from me, and it’s making me uncomfortable on every level.

My vision is back to normal and I can hear every sound around me now; was time somehow frozen? It appears Gale and Rolan are completely unaware of my temporary absence from reality. The waitress comes back again to take our order, just shortly after I zone back in, but I’m too stunned to speak.

“What would you like to eat, my love?” Gale asks with a kind smile on his face. I order the strawberry cream pancakes, which honestly sounds beyond incredible right now. I look down at Jenevelle, who is lying comfortably in my baby-wearing wrap. She reaches up at me, gazing at me with her sweet, angelic brown eyes as if she’s saying, “It will be okay mommy.”

I hate that I saw those three again. I hate that Gortash tried to guilt trip me for not dominating the brain. Why can’t they just stay dead like everyone else who passes away? I want to tell Gale about this, but will he believe me? It all sounds ridiculous when I think it through.

As we finish our breakfast, I hear the door open and, surprise, here comes Karlach and Wyll, who we seem to bump into a lot considering Waterdeep is a relatively large city.

“Rolan? Emmy? GALE?!”

“Karlach, why are you the most surprised to see me?” Gale questions with bewilderment. I stand up and bolt toward them. Karlach greets me with open arms, ready to embrace me with one of her famous hugs, but all I can think about is how anxious I am.

“Karlach! Listen, I need to talk to you. Could you and Wyll drop by later?”

“Sure thing, Em! Wait, what did you do?” I playfully roll my eyes and sit back down at the table. I let everyone chat to catch up, but Gale notices I’m not acting myself; he’s good at that. Damn it.

What pisses me off is that I had so many questions I needed to ask, but I couldn’t and those dead chosen bastards knew it. I’m not going to be playing their preposterous games. I need to let it go, maybe I’m overthinking the entire situation.

[tacticalgrandma]

3, 10, and 15 for M.D. please!

Send me Durge asks!

For M.D. (orin lives/platonic durgetash au)

3. When Sceleritas fetched them from their comfortable home, what did they do on their journeys? Did they take on any jobs?

M.D. was, pre-tadpole, a very high level way of shadows monk (with some of the bg3 open hand homebrew thrown in for the love of the Exploding Heart Technique). It just seems fitting somewhere there’s some Bhaalist monastery for assassins, so she trained there for decades. She practiced hunting in cities, and on returning to Baldur’s Gate she spent a lot of time quietly observing so she could blend in well.

10. Gortash seemed to have admired Durge, what did they do to deserve this admiration? Did they have any notable personality traits or did they impress him in some other way?

This is something I thought about for my most recent fic? Because I wanted it to go from business, to kind of bantery, to vulnerable, so I was worried actual affection would get buried too deep.

I think M.D. would be remarkably down to earth for a bhaalspawn cult leader. She’s undergone rigorous ascetic training, she does unglamorous work without batting an eye. She’s very direct and effective in ways that complement him well. And just like she tests him, she’s very good at giving him nothing when he tests her.

Also they’re really bitchy together and that’s always fun.

15. Bhaal handcrafted Durge. Do they enjoy and worship their appearance, or did they have a rebellious phase, trying their best to change their Lord Father's grand design?

M.D. just doesn’t think much about her appearance at all. If she’s out in public, she wants to look as unremarkable as possible so she can be stealthy. If she’s doing something ceremonial, she’ll wear whatever Scleritas tells her to wear. Enver tries to bring her undercover to a formal event and they nearly come to blows because she doesn’t want to wear any of the shoes he tells her to wear. They’re not comfortable. How am supposed to run up a wall in those things. Both him and Orin desperately want to give her a makeover.

[aliasknives]

OC meme!

tagged to talk about my feral cat of a durge by the wonderful and talented @orlesianapologist (thank you ♡!)

tagging (if you would like to do it--no pressure!) @weavebitch, @collegeoflore, @darkurgeapologist, @nullcanary, and anyone else who sees this and wants to join!

(bg3 dark urge spoilers below)

B A S I C S

Full name: Isoldt (once used the last name Brahm, from her adoptive family, but abandoned it when she arrived at the Bhaal Temple)

Gender: Female (ish)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: She/her and they/them

O T H E R

Family: Adoptive family (deceased), Orin, Sceleritas as a kind of caregiving figure (especially when she was very young)--also viewed the Bhaal Temple as a surrogate family of sorts, albeit not a "loving" one. Finds a family with her friends over the course of the game

Birthplace: Baldur's Gate

Job: Former High Primistress of the Cult of Bhaal, former Unholy Assassin, Adventurer (accidental), Bard (College of Swords)

Phobias: Atelophobia, claustrophobia, and the loss of control/autonomy

Guilty pleasures: Actually enjoys parties and dancing, but would never admit it pre-tadpole. Sweet wines. Flowers, especially roses and black oleander. Old adventure epics (would be a guilty pleasure for a Bhaalist but not for a normal person)

Hobbies: Lute and singing. Trying her hand at cooking (everyone disapproves). Still piecing herself together.

M O R A L S

Alignment: Chaotic good during game timeline (neutral evil pre-tadpole).

Sins: Pride, wrath

Virtues: Diligence, charity

T H I S O R T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: Isoldt x Gortash (pre-tadpole), Isoldt x Gale* (post-tadpole)

Acceptable Ships: Isoldt x Astarion* (**I actually can't decide if she should end up with Astarion or Gale), Isoldt x Minthara (evil timeline probably)

OT3: She's probably too possessive/dependent to successfully pull this off, except maybe post-game--so any of the above ships x copious therapy

Brotp: Isoldt & Shadowheart (bonded over amnesia tbh), Isoldt & Wyll

Notp: None

[nikomedes]

(thinking about my durge again. normally)

i realized i rly don’t think shrike ever saw orin as a threat, but not in a dismissive way. i think he was grateful. on a certain level once he’d been brought to the cult of bhaal, sprayed with a garden hose (so he could be re-blood-drenched properly), re-domesticated, and filled in on the religious dogma of bhaal, i think he looked at younger orin like. okay she is blood of bhaal but she’s a descendant of a descendant. bhaalist worship loves children of bhaal fighting to the death, but that made shrike cagey around sarevok, not orin. orin was a bright spot. dangerous enough not to need coddling but young and full of surprises and just as fucked up as he was. i think having been functionally dragged out of the woods as a rabid animal and then made to lead a church, her digging at him or dogging his footsteps or ambushing him wouldve made him feel more normal, almost? like i imagine theres a sharp division between bhaalspawn and bhaal devotees, and orin was technically on his side of the line but not a clear and present danger. predator pups will play fight, play hunt each other. i think thats how shrike saw their relationship

on the other hand, i think orin fucking hated him lmao. she killed her own mother and was cosseted by sarevok and likely knew from a young age that because sarevoks time had come and gone she was to be the scion of bhaal, at least in baldurs gate. and then sceleritas fel drags in this nonverbal twitching cannibal elf and is like “actually this guy is MADE from bhaal and thus supercedes u.” and sarevok presumably just accepts this once shrike does enough killing. and shrike unintentionally always broadcasts the fact that he doesn’t take her seriously. he finds her cute. he won’t even just kill her off and be done with it— for some reason he likes the idea that she’ll just hang out in the temple with him forever. they can braid each others hair. no one in this temple has the rational thinking or emotional intelligence to try to really understand each others perspectives and hash out this utterly fucked family dynamic. bhaal would probably see them killed for trying. so shrike dotes on orin in his way and orin seethes and then finally she bashes his fucking head in and gets everything she wanted. but then of course he comes out of the woods again to ruin her life

and god. this is so crucial to me bc for me canonically shrike will always handle cazador with astarion before facing the temple of bhaal. he helps strike down the monster who ruled over astarion and pitted him against his siblings, and astarion gets to kill him, is free of him, and while theres no touching reunions his “siblings” are free too. it all (from a truly fucked perspective) works out. and shrike rejects bhaal bc he’s taken onboard shadowheart rejecting shar, lae’zel rejecting vlaakith, astarion killing cazador, etc, he knows he has a choice now that he didnt when he was compelled to kill his clan and then dragged feral out of the woods. and shadowheart still got to meet nocturne, lae’zel finds kinship with kith’rak voss, astarions “siblings” lived. i rly think he goes into the temple of bhaal thinking he can somehow get orins netherstone and save her too. and that is not what she fucking wants. its fucking insulting. even after she nearly succeeded in assassinating him, he won’t take her seriously as a scion of bhaal. i rly think its only moments before shrike has to kill her that he realizes a fight to the death was all she ever wanted, because at least in this he has to acknowledge her as an equal, finally. and shrikes misery is 100%. he rly went in and thought, even if hes now remembered in gory detail killing his foster mothers and their whole clan, he might leave bhaal with a sister. and that was never going to happen

literally if he didnt have a new sort of adoptive relationship with jaheira, his comraderie with the other companions but particularly lae’zel, and his relationship with astarion, withers couldnt have called him back. he just wouldve let bhaal kill him and been added to the wall of the faithless. on a fundamental level he was born a predatory wild animal, taught the warmth of a hearth and place to belong by his mothers in a way bhaal has been trying to blot out ever since, and no amount of devolution of him as a person could get rid of the knowledge of love on a basic, maybe instinctual level. if someones kind and loving life can be shattered by an act of violence, i think someones life of violence and misery can be shattered by an act of love. i think he carried love like a disease even when he repressed his childhood to survive in the wilds, and he tried to spread it the first chance he got, to orin. it just didnt take. it wasnt something she needed the way he did (she thought she had it. thats why her reaction if u convince her sarevok betrayed her hits so fucking hard. shes destroyed by the loss of love, even as fucked as it was). and if he’d made his way back to the temple alone to face the truth about orin he wouldve died of love like a terminal disease. rabies parallels but not the obvious ones

anyway. is there anything as undoing as a sister. etc. god i gotta write for shrike again

[odetoviscera]

An Update On Evils

so firstly i failed to get more screenshots bc i forgot how printscreen works. :(

fortunately evilest boy in the world, vexation, is smarter and cooler than me, so he did go on to commit many evils.

when we left off, i was making a backstabbing deal with a tyrant lord on my first approach to baldur's gate, which obviously is gonna go great for all of us. first order of business: murdering my sister.

unfortunately my sister is a doppleganger shapeshifter and she is HARASSING ME by posing as random women around the city and engaging me in conversations to try to figure me out and then when my response is inevitably something like "oh i think i'll coat the streets in blood and viscera, maybe do some light shopping" she drops the act to go AHA! FOOL! I AM THE MRUDER QUEEN! and then disappears into smoke before i can murder her as she rightly deserves. these harlequin antics do NOT reflect well on our daddy bhaal and i am ashamed of her.

also she sics a bunch of assassins on me which makes walking into public parks a nuisance.

however because she is a fucking idiot, finding her is super easy on account of her sending out MY murder cult STOLEN FROM ME to do a bunch of """artistic""" murders. my minions have clearly gotten stupider in my absence bc they're also leaving their kill lists lying around, with instructions on how to get access to the Murder Temple by doing murders and hacking off some hands. (maybe gale's hand would have come in handy-- ha-- here? alas it is currently attached to him and he just learned lightning bolt so i GUESS i'm keeping him. for now.)

anyway i swan around the city learning the lay of the land and trying to murder some people before the babiest of assassins can get around to it. i also come across a small child trying to resurrect her murdered brother in the local graveyard. (possibly i murdered him before i lost my memories! the possibilities are tantalizing.) obviously as a deranged warlock i encourage her to transgress against the laws of kelemvor and nature and teach her Dread Secrets. turns out she's a tiny necromancer prodigy bc she manages to raise the ENTIRE CEMETARY as undead. i'm charmed. i keep her alive and tell the kelemvor cleric to fuck off and stop brainwashing her. i hope she becomes a dread lich someday. i hope she becomes the new myrkul chosen. she can be part of my ruinous kingdom. mentorship program.

i eventually track down enough people to murder to get an invitation to the secret passage in a tombstone shop (subtle, guys) that leads to a Hidden Chamber where i am judged Worthy (i resist the temptation to prove it by murdering the skeleton who thinks he can judge me. i totally have self-control.) and you will NOT BELIEVE IT: SAREVOK FUCKING ANCHEV is in this room. as are the blood ghosts of several other Bhaalspawn Notables, all of whom are appropriately appreciative that i've returned. sarevok informs me that my stupid murder sister is actually his granddaughter, but in classic sarevok fashion he doesn't give a fuck and enourages me to murder her, being as i am the Most Special Bhaalspawn, created specifically and specially by daddy bhaal, unlike all these OTHER, LESSER bhaalspawn who were just a resurrection mechanic. i am the SOVEREIGN BHAALSPAWN and i will RECLAIM MY THRONE. also i get to kill a celestial elephant for some reason but whatever i'm not complaining.

step one: kill murder sister orin. i get a lovely bhaal amulet that will let me open the doors to my temple and head down into the sewers to get access to the undercity. ah, undercity, my beloved old haunt. full of dust and ghosts and assassins to murder and more assassins to fawn over me and tell me they wish i was still in charge. don't worry idiots i will be soon. you'll all get to bathe in blood and feast on flesh again.

orin wants to monologue. i want to murder. i show her that i have the SLAYER and she is RIGHTLY ALARMED. i slice her to ribbons and she LITERALLY MELTS when she dies. metal.

my butler congratulates me and then promptly gets eviscerated by divine knives so that daddy bhaal can possess his blood reflection and tell me he's SUPER proud of me and as a treat i get a slayer upgrade. alas that i don't get a ravager form, but i do get the satisfaction of a job well done and my dread father's approval so we're cooking with gas.

but before i can head back to the tyrant there are ONE OR TWO little things i want to wrap up. first up: shadowheart has some of her own cult business to handle, so we head to the hidden shar temple. turns out the high priestess there is VICONIA DEVIR. babe! beloved! you're looking wonderful! so proud of you! i mean i'm going to murder you very very much bc shadowheart wants to take over your temple, but it was nice seeing you! anyway we do that and then Shar Herself shows up to inform shadowheart that she needs to kill her parents to complete her quest to become shar's chosen. helpfully shar will let her forget doing this afterwards, so no muss no fuss no guilt no problems!

next up: astarion's vampire drama. his vampire daddy (less cool than mine) keeps sending minions to try to kidnap him to sacrifice in an infernal ritual to become vampire god, and astarion bc he is the love of my life thinks that actually HE should become the vampire god, so we head off to do that. this ends up involving the slaughter and sacrifice of Literally Seven Thousand Souls so obviously i am ALL FOR IT. MASS MURDER WITH THE BAE. the couple that slays together stays together. to prove it i let him turn me into a vampire bc fuck it why now? i'm a bhaalspawn chosen half-squid drow warlock, what is adding "vampire" to my resume going to do? (give me the ability to Bite in combat as a bonus action, so it's worth it tbh.)

there are some other MINOR quests i could do and some things the nice companions in my company want buuuut i'm tired of being nice. i want to go apeshit! (more apeshit.) so we're off to the see the tyrant, who demands i give him the macguffins i got from our dead mutual friends. i obviously do not give them to him. he says "spectacular, that was a test, you're worthy to rule beside me bestie" and i decide maybe i'll add him to my romance pile and kill him second-to-last before astarion.

that happy thought doesn't last long bc when we get to the elder brain to try to leash it properly for our conquest it promptly flash-fries his brain. real shame, he was growing me and i wanted to do the proper backstabbing. on the upside, i get to wear his clothes now!

anyway the brain almost kills everyone and my illithid boyfriend rescues us to the astral plane in the nick of time and informs me Shit Has Gotten Fucked. thanks, i gathered. the elder brain-- now fancifully titled THE NETHERBRAIN bc the crown controlling it was from netheril, which like, of course it was-- is too Synaptically Complex for me to control it on my own! alas, it is a task only a mindflayer can do. so i should give him the macguffins. or i can turn into a mindflayer myself, if i am so inclined.

reader, i gave it some serious thought. but astarion complained about the tentacle and who am i to deny my boyfriend the right to kiss my creepy murderous face. illithid boyfriend can have the macguffin. FOR NOW.

anyway when we drop back into the material plane everything is one fire and overrun by THE NETHERBRAIN's mind-controlled army, so we slog through the city to reach it. i yell at a lot of people, but i do refrain from murdering my allies, for which they should all be grateful. illithid boyfriend comes along, and before long we reach the summit of high hall and climb THE NETHERBRAIN's brainstem like the madlads we are.

as it happens, THE NETHERBRAIN has co-opted a dragon.

we kill the dragon. illithid boyfriend uses the macguffin and warps into THE NETHERBRAIN's... consciousness or something and we take turns beating it's will to death. and right as it is on the verge of destruction...

well...

daddy DID say i'm supposed to rule his murder kingdom until the last living being is snuffed out and i can slit my own throat in glorious completion of bhaal's will.

i stab illithid boyfriend. i stab him Many, Many Times. he says nothing! he just looks at me. with his squiddy orange eyes. is it hatred? regret? betrayal?

all delicious options.

i take back the macguffin. my companions are Concerned. vampire boyfriend is Alarmed, as you might expect, by this evidence that boyfriend status is not protection from murder.

"don't worry," i tell them, "you still have a place in my design."

And I Take Control Of The Netherbrain.

FOR BHAAL.

Baldur's Gate 3: The Evil Experience

on the recommendation of @leupagus: My Very Special Evil Boy, Vexation. don't worry about the blood, it's a fashion choice.

if you've been wondering how evil you can be in baldur's gate 3, wonder no more-- So Evil.

so beginning at the beginning, i of course chose the Dark Urge (obvious serial killer) origin, who is conveniently customizable, so i also made him Drow and a Lolth Worshipper and a Warlock (all of which has made him only marginally more evil, tbh, mostly the related dialogue options make him a smug bastard, although OCCASIONALLY this will give him a "hmm what if i enslaved you" option which people do indeed react to as if he's an evil maniac and they should flee and/or try to kill him. this goes great for them considering i'm the protagonist.)

i wake up on an illithid ship with no memories, as one does. i befriend a walking talking brain, by which i mean i lobotomize it so that i can more easily control and manipulate it, as one does. i may not know who i am, but i definitely know that i am powerful, mean, and more important than everyone here. also i have a great old one in my brain giving me eldritch blast, so the tadpole wriggling around in there seems normal. i crash the ship sort of accidentally and am set loose on my merry way to wrack the Sword Coast with terrible mayhem. probably. as soon as i figure out if i'm about to turn into a mindflayer.

the first sign of my uncontrollable evil mania was when i tried to talk to a squirrel in act one (actually, i tell a lie, the FIRST sign was when i was tempted to hack Gale's hand off instead of dragging him out of the portal he got stuck in, but i decided i needed a wizard more than a dismembered hand) and the narrator informed me i had been Gripped By A Compulsion and promptly dropkicked the squirrel into a tree. it died, obviously. i was given the option to decide if i cared about this and decided that my opinion was a frankly inappropriate level of malicious glee considering the heights from which i, clearly child of murder, have obviously fallen to get amnesia and get tadpoled and fall out of the sky on a dying illithid spaceship. anyway this set me up for Being Maximally Deranged, however there is No Karma Meter or any equivalent system to MEASURE your evil or limit your dialogue options-- i have free reign at all times, i COULD decide that suddenly i'm going to be a Repentant Murderer, i can do Nice Things if i want the reward or the exp or i am exercising my single scintilla of compassion accidentally inculcated by my eventual three simultaneous romances (one of which is with the mindflayer who lives in my brain/an artifact stopping ME from becoming a mindflayer. this game is so horny, very classic dnd "i roll to romance the villain". except i am also the villain.) at this point i have no romances, though-- at this point my companions watch me kick a squirrel to death and their collective response is "well… that seemed… excessive."

i also have the option to tell every single one of them individually that i am driven by a blood mania to murder and destruction. opinions of this range from "well admitting you have a problem is the first step!" to "that's nice, just point it at the enemy instead of ME". no one seems appropriately concerned about this. they'll learn.

anyway the next sign of my uncontrollable evil mania is that when i decided to be nice to a bard for no reason and she showed up at our next long rest to Join The Party (oh we do get a bard companion, that's nice, i said, like a fool.) i promptly murdered her in the night. as in i woke up covered in blood with her corpse ritually slaughtered at my feet and said "hm. probably shouldn't let anyone else find out i did this" and then sulked when no one gave me proper respect and rewards for murdering her. fortunately the next day my Evil Butler materialized to do just that, and proved he wasn't a figment of my imagination by giving me an Evil Cloak that lets me turn invisible everytime i murder someone. i spend the next half an act or so convinced i'm going to slowly kill off my party, but fortunately i develop the ability to control myself. now i only murder when I WANT to murder.

the rest of act one i am SORT OF a good boy-- i do deliberately get a child killed but i don't PERSONALLY kill her, i get a druid's snake to do it, so does it really count against MY soul? yes but only me and daddy bhaal know it so i am able to continue playing Goody Two Shoes for the rest of the act. (i don't know he's my daddy yet, but like… i know it. i, the player, know it. in my soul. i've played these games before.) delightful fallout, my child murder gets the druid killed after i Helpfully Save The Tieflings by telling the opposing force i'll totally help them break in and kill them all, then betraying them at the last minute. i kill so so so many goblins. i get an inspiration point for how many goblins i kill. goblins are still sentient. It's Still Murder.

act two, however, empowered by all my Blood And Chaos, i turn over a new leaf. sure sure being lauded by the tieflings was fun and all, but i do somewhat regret not killing EVERYONE. i'll do better this time. this shadow-cursed hellscape is really vibing with me. it's also trying to eat me every time i'm not carrying a magic lamp but you can't win 'em all. i pretend that i'm with the antagonists (can you call them villains when I'M the villain?) so i can get their lamp. it's carried by a drider who does not appreciate my sincere compliments about how beautifully fucked up he is. his loss, i'm down to fuck anyone. i'm already fucking a githyanki and a vampire spawn.

when i get to the Big Bad Tower where supposedly they'll know about my tadpole, i discover they know something WAY MORE IMPORTANT: who the fuck i am. everyone here recognizes me. no one will tell me anything. several of them are appropriately terrified. this is infuriating but also promising. the Big Bad is a smug dick and i want to eat his heart raw. i daydream about this.

my butler arrives to tell me if i murder a Special Girl i'll get a treat. i like treats and i LOVE murder so i go looking for her. she's maintaining a Magic Selenite Moon Shield over the single not-shadow-cursed place here, which i hate on principle-- also it's a harper outpost and i hate them too, they'd probably disapprove of murder. some rando minion with wings drops in to tell me the Big Bad of the region wants to kidnap her (ALIVE, he specifies) so obviously i now double want to kill her. i kill her in one round. the magic shield collapses. EVERYONE dies (including the tieflings i saved in act one! full circle.) and then i kill their shadow-cursed undead corpses again, for good measure.

my treat is getting to turn into the slayer. i KNEW i was a bhaalspawn.

behold my true glorious visage. (with blep.) my only complaint is that i can only become this hulking death machine once per long rest. it is, however, not a turn-limited form, i can stay in it Forever if no one kills me as long as i'm willing to Just Murder No Talking. also it has a spectacular ladder-climbing animation, this bitch goes down ladders face-down like a lizard, i love him.)

anyway i don't go back to the Big Bad Tower bc presumably they'll be mad about the dead girl (i'm guessing she's Big Bad's dead daughter miraculously resurrected. i'm totally right by the way.) but the last time i was there i got a quest to find the Big Bad's Relic, which is obviously his phylactery or something since he's got a whole death aesthetic-- after a whole Temple of Shar sequence it turns out his phylactery is a captive aasimar actually. my companion wants to murder her for shar-related reasons, so i give her the go-ahead since i don't have any SPECIAL reason to kill her myself. my companions should get to be evil occasionally too.

with his phylactery dead, it's pretty easy to mow through the Big Bad Tower, especially since i can now turn into the Death Machine. i don't have to talk to anyone here. i can Just Murder.

nearly kill the Big Bad but he flees to his basement, where it turns out there's an mindflayer colony, big deal, we've all got tadpoles in our brains (i've been eating other tadpoles for extra power along the way, because of course i have) okay fine it's a slightly big deal bc there's an elder brain here that my Special Mindflayer Friend is shielding us from whatever. it's under the control of the Big Bad who's death aesthetic turns out to be that he's the Chosen of Myrkul, and also here are reps of the other Dead Three, Bane and My Daddy. i hate bhaal's chosen on sight, as is traditional for a bhaalspawn. i will murder her someday. i will murder her SO GOOD.

unfortunately she and the baneite fuck off with their elder brain to lay siege to baldur's gate while i'm daydreaming about it, so for now all i get to murder is Big Bad Myrkul Edition. moderately satisfying. he turns in an Avatar of Myrkul in the second half but i destroy him so quickly he doesn't even get to regenerate with the hojillion corpses in the area. nobody murders like vexation.

off to baldur's gate to save the city/get bigger hunting grounds!

i do cure the shadow curse on my way out though, because i'm never coming back and i've left the place a blighted wasteland, why not, it gets me a pet druid.

there's also some drama with githyanki and vlaakith, as usual, turns out the Rebel Prince Orpheus is actually how my particular mindflayer (who is finally revealing that he's a mindflayer, a thing i have suspected all along because of all the psychic shit he does) is doing the shielding, etc. etc. also i let my mindflayer boyfriend turn me in a half-illithid, which means i get no tentacles but a BUNCH of new mindflayer powers to make me an even better murderer. can't wait to see who wins in the tug-of-war for my mind, body, and soul--the illithids, my great old one beyond the stars, a devil who keeps trying to get my attention, my vampire boyfriend who wants to ascend to vampire god, or Murder Daddy. my bet is murder daddy.

anyway we get to baldur's gate, where i break in bc i don't want any guards to know i'm here-- just jumped and flew my way up the side of the bridge past the checkpoint. easy peasy now that i have illithid flight powers on command no cooldowns just Psychically Levitate wherever i want to go. also i can turn into a displacer beast. that's right, i now have to option to become TWO DIFFERENT terrifying horror beasts and rip through mobs like papier-mache. my patron really needs to keep up, warlock powers are falling behind. (no they aren't, i've hit level 10 and can now eldritch blast three times in one round and every hit knocks enemies back and terrifies them. i'm gonna chew this city up and swallow it one bite.)

however, first thing when i get into the citadel: the baneite is being coronated Archduke, bc of course he is. so i head up to see if there's a chance to murder him and a room full of peers, BUT. for the first time EVER-- this little shit is willing to tell me Who I Am. Assassin of Bhaal, former high priest of His Temple, and ONE OF THE INVENTORS OF THIS CONQUEST PLAN. that little bhaalite chosen is my bhaalspawn sister (obviously) who fucking tadpoled me, gave me amnesia, and discarded me before making sure my corpse was cold. this will be a mistake! FOR HER.

in the meantime the baneite wants me to know that he is a big fan of mine, would i like to murder my sister since i already murdered the myrkulite, and then he and i can rule this city together with an iron grip and a blood knife, since he's sure he'll have a lot of use for an assassin as a tyrant. mind-reading and my brain-illithid agree that he is actually on the level about this, at least for the moment, so of course i agree. i will rule this city. and then i will murder him. and then i will murder EVERYONE. in THE WORLD.

so now i'm hunting the current chosen of bhaal so i can kill her and steal her place-- my butler is sending me divine visions of it, SHE can't turn into the slayer, i am evil daddy's favourite. she's also kidnapped one of my companions and is threatening to kill her if i show up but i care about that less.

and that's where i am so far! will report on Future Evils.