#in any other save I would’ve made them endgame and make them happy together however well if you know their story

[tulipsimss]

A lifetime with each other♥️

[waywardfacegarden]

what’s your opinion of the last few chapters of ao no flag and how they fit in with the rest of the manga? 👀 (like do you think the ending was well set-up and satisfying?)

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this!!!!!!! I absolutely flipped of happiness when I got this ask, so thank you so much for sending it!!!! I love talking about things I love, and this manga is so criminally underrated imo, but I have SO MANY THOUGHTS!!! It’s nice having an excuse to rant about it, lol. Also, feel more than free to rant about this question, too, I would love to hear your opinion!!!

Here goes my way-too-long reply under the cut:

To be honest, I have a lot of thoughts about this manga but I’m too bad at expressing myself and articulating my opinions in a coherent way, so this is probably going to be pretty incoherent ajsdlashfldsf, my apologies in advance.

First of all, I have to state that I really like the ending!!!!!!! I totally understand that some people say it was rushed, but it wasn’t like that for me. At least, not in a way that made me feel like I wasted my time reading it.

As for the whole Futaba/Taichi breaking up and Touma/Taichi being endgame, I absolutely loved it. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have more context and background about how Taichi and Touma got together (and if the author decided to do a short spin-off about some moments between that time skip, I’d read it in a flash), but I also like the myriad of possibilities you can play with in your mind of how that happened. I like the open aspect of it. Also, I really, really, really, really loved Futaba and Taichi’s relationship, and I have to admit that when I read that “two years later... I broke up with Futaba” line, my jaw dropped LOL. I had to pause my reading for a couple of minutes to fully process it, if I’m honest. Not to say I hated it, but it did hurt me that they broke up LOOL. However, I also found it... realistic? It’s not like Futaba and Taichi’s relationship was bad or that at some point I thought “this is due to end at some point, I don’t think they’re going to last forever together”... it’s just that I liked... how it was handled? If that makes sense. Yeah, it was pretty simplistic, and I know some people say that it was out of nowhere and that the author didn’t even care to explain why it happened with that “sorry explanation”, but I really liked it.

I checked up the exact lines in my translation so i wouldn’t mess it up, lol, and here it is: “There wasn’t an interesting story behind it. People might ask why... or say what they would’ve done in our place... not understanding the little decisions we made. But... we decided to go our own ways... not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness.” 

I love it. All the manga is a wholesome, pretty realistic (in my opinion) way to show the teenage years, the coming-on-age, the “have to take/make decisions that will affect your future” and the whole mess that is... feelings and the complexity of relationships. I like how, when Taichi is explaining it, he says that there isn’t something dramatic or big that lead to it. It probably was a bunch of things, and maybe the outcome wouldn’t be what other people would have done, but it was their decision, it was what made them happy. He makes it clear. I especially love it because:

1) It’s pretty normal. Relationships don’t always work. It doesn’t have to be because of something big, either. People change over time, take different decisions that, in consequence, lead to change in dynamics/relationships. That’s life. It’s always, constantly changing. I’m not the same person I was five years ago, and I doubt I will be exactly the same five years from now pn to the future. That doesn’t mean that if you’re in a relationship now and you both start changing that it won’t work, it’s just that sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s normal. It’s pretty simple but also real, in my opinion. He clearly states that other people probably wouldn’t understand the little decisions they made, but it happened. Which, again, realistic imo.

2) I love how he says “we decided to go our own ways, not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness”. Why? Because it leads back to the repeated theme of the story of “what is your happiness right now”. Basically, I think the main topic/message by the end was how Taichi took the decisions--and how people in general irl make decisions--because that’s what made him happy in that moment. You don’t always know if you’re making the right decisions, but at the end of the day, you’re always chasing your happiness. So, I like how that theme played there as well. They took that decision to chase after their own shapes of happiness, not wanting to chase after what someone else think that would made them happy, but what they themselves thought that did.

I also love how he states that it wasn’t easy. Futaba was an important person in his life. She helped him change, she shaped a lot of who he was by the end of the time-skip, so of course it would be hard to break up. It wasn’t like she would die or something, but it was a big change. Even if it was a decision that was took for the best (at least for them), of course it was going to be hard for him, and I like that it was stated. I also love how Touma was the one who made them connect again, really an amazing touch and, again, one of the things I loved about Ao No Flag, and how the main love triangle wasn’t toxic at all. He knew both of them were important for the other, and I love that he was the one who helped them get in touch again. I also love how Touma was still in touch with Futaba and Masumi and that Futaba and Taichi reconnect again.

So all in all, I think Futaba and Taichi’s broke up was realistic. It’s true that just because you have a relationship in your teenage years it doesn’t have to end when you grow older, but a lot of times, it happens. That’s the complexity of liking/loving someone over the years and relationships/feelings in general. So I don’t think it was that out of place? As much as people like to complain, because, true, you usually have this endgame pairing at the end of the story and you, of course, assume everything is going to be happily ever after for them (or, like, as happy as it can get with its highs and lows) and they will stick together... this is also a realistic possiblity/outcome? It’s pretty uncommon in a story, and I understand that people thought that the manga took the route of focusing “way too much on Futaba/Taichi’s romantic development to just throw it by the end” but I don’t think the story itself was just that. The story, for me, was more than just Futaba and Taichi’s “romantic development”. And everything that happened, and how each other changed the other’s life was so meaningful for me even if they didn’t end up together. I love how they breaking up doesn’t change any of that.

Also, I don’t think Taichi’s romantic feelings for Touma were “our of nowhere”? OF COURSE, I would have loved to have a Taichi’s explicit realization of “oh, I love Touma like that” or “oh, he’s more than just a best friend for me/this is more than just platonic love”. But... Idk, this is probably just because I’m bi, so I’m probably biased (LOL), but I never thought of Taichi as other than bisexual? This is just my perspective, but I feel like there were hints everywhere in the manga that he felt strongly about Touma, and yeah, you can say that it was just platonic love, but even if he didn’t feel romantic feelings for him in his teenage years (which, I personally think he kind of had a crush on him when they were younger), he very well could have had developed them later. I know a lot of people irl that have known each other for years and never felt any slight romantic attraction to each other and then years later they started talking more, etc. and started liking each other. It can happen. More so if you’re already close? Of course I would have loved to have more explicit moments, but I feel like the author A) decided that Taichi would develop romantic attraction/feelings only later (in that time skip) or B) did want to include more but wasn’t allowed to because shounen genre. This is just my opinion, of course. But, yeah. I think it was already hard to make that ending happen (main reason of why I think it wasn’t THAT explicit either that it was Touma/Taichi and why the author didn’t show Touma’s face), and that they showed a lot of subtle moments of Taichi’s deep feelings respecting Touma around the story. I really, really, really, absolutely loved Taichi’s turmoil/conflict by the end after Touma confessed to him. Raw, realistic, emotional, deep... I love everything about it. I always cry like a baby when he reads the message inside the charm of “best friend power”, I tell you. I have that panel of him crying and smiling saved in my phone because I’m a fucking masochist aksdjlsdfjk. IT BREAKS ME. Everything about him breaking down, too, with that dream, throwing things in his room, EVERYTHING about his turmoil felt incredibly crude and real to me. Never ever fails to make me cry. And I really liked how he did thought a lot about his feelings and what he wanted and what Touma felt, instead of just going “no, I accept his feelings and I love him, but not in that way. Not like Futaba”. Of course, by the end (before the time-skip), that’s basically what he tells him, but I liked how it didn’t only went with that without showing all of Taichi’s inner conflict.

As a bonus, two more things about the final final chapter:

1) I’m assuming this, but I think I’m right, haha: I really, seriously love how the author knew the ending was going to be controversial and threw some lines that made it seem like (for me, at least) “I get it, most of you won’t get it but I’m fine with this ending myself”. With the whole “Friend or lover? Which will it be?” poster thing, Taichi’s comment about the ending like “the characters’ final decisions didn’t sit well with me”, the “oh, but then again... form someone’s else point of view, my decisions might also seem...” (ASJDLDSFJ it’s like the author is saying, ‘ahaha, yeah, ik, you might not get this, ik’, and I find it so incredibly endearing and satisfying and funny? I absolutely love it when authors make subtle mentions to their [probably] controversial/uncommon/or even cliché decisions in their own story).

2) I absolutely love the final panels of the chapters because they always manage to make me cry my eyes out? The simple but oh so realistic that I absolutely die for line of “life is a series of choices. Even if you pick, hoping for the best... You might hurt someone, or yourself, and regret it. And even if, you do gain happiness, you might be afraid of the next choice that comes, because you don’t want to lose it. Nevertheless, we continue to make choices forever. That’s why I pray that... the future that lies beyond this myriad of choices...” GAH, I LOVE IT. It’s so painfully real; and just... the underlying beauty of the hopeful open ending of the line, too? -- Also, the “hey, if it were you...” followed by the “haha, you’re so annoying!” panel of TAICHI SMILING AND LAUGHING SO FREAKING HAPPY, LIKE THAT’S EVERYTHING I WANTED FOR HIM, Y E AH. IT MAKES ME SO GODDAMN EMOTIONAL. AND TH EN, THE FOLLOWING PANELS, FUTABA BEING SO HAPPY WITH HER HUSBAND, MASUMI AND HER PARTNER, AGHHHHHHH, MY GODDAMN HEART, THEY’RE SO HAPPY AS WELL AND THAT’S EVERYTHING I NEEDED, AND AND AND THEIR CLASSMATES ALL HAPPY AND GOING ON WITH THEIR LIFES, AND THE FUCKING. ENDEARING, LOVELY DOMESTICY OF THAT LAST DIALOGUE OF TAICHI BEFORE THE “let’s go home”, thE FUCKI N G R I N G, I SCR E AMED (like i knew they were married, or i THOUGHT so before -- buT BU TT B UUU T AAAAAAAA), AND ALSO THAT PANEL OF TAICHI IS ONE OF THE BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL, HEARTWARMING PANELS I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE?????????????????????????? The way he looks so goddamn SOFT and SO FOND and the way he’s just in the middle and focus on the panel, like it’s everything Touma sees, and and and just how HAPPY TAICHI LOOKS, and the way the hand kind of... “goes out” of the panel, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHEN AUTHORS DO THAT IN IMPORTANT SCENES, AND THEN THE LINKED HANDS????????????????? BR O. I seriously was crying my eyes out. It was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful for me.

SO YEAH. All in all, I was satisfied! Of course, I would’ve loved more of Touma and Taichi’s explicit romantic development, and I understand that people felt the ending was rushed. But for me, the manga was more than just... couples and endgames, you know? The manga itself was so beautiful and wholesome and it had so many good points that the ending just felt like a beautiful closure and, at the same time, a hopeful, amazingly beautiful and touching opening for more of this heartwarming, real, so beautiful coming-of-age story. I think it matches with the tone of the rest of the manga of chasing your happiness and making the decisions that sit best for you and for what you want, even if others don’t understand. I think it matches with the theme of how complex and beautifully amazing relationships and feelings are. I think it suits with the beauty of the manga in general.

And in conclusion, I’m going to show you a pic of this comment on reddit (of a discussion of the ending) that pretty much sums up what I think and said in this:

[softlenaluthor]

Hello, I wanted to share the Supercorp hill I have chosen to die on:

Because I keep reading fics where Kara and/or Lena are stupidly in love with each other and that’s totally cute and all but I have chosen oblivion and I cannot change my mind. Long post because I added screencaps and gifs because I can. Also can I just say that I’m pretty excited that I finally have A Thing again that is making me write such long posts? It’s been ages!

Here’s what I think is going on:

Lena knows, from the moment they’ve met, that there was a playful, flirty attraction she felt for Kara, but decided not to act upon it when it developed in the closest friendship she’s ever had. Her relationship with Kara almost became something sacred to her, Kara became her inspiration that people could still be genuine.

But you cannot change my mind about the fact that literally the second Lena laid eyes on Kara, she 100% knew that there was attraction. If it were any other place, maybe she would have even gone for it. Or at the very least, tried to figure out if Kara felt the same. I mean, look at the way she looked at Kara when jumped into the conversation and suddenly became all smiles:

For me, that also scene establishes for me how great Lena is at what she does. As a woman in a position of power, it’s inevitable that she needs to understand which questions to ask, which buttons to push and which playful, flirtatious jokes to say (to men), like the remark she made at Clark in this scene. It seems to come naturally to her.

However, her interactions with Kara felt different to me from the start. I probably still would’ve shipped it if Kara was a man, even if I’m sounding like I’m chalking it up to - if I were to put it bluntly: Lena needs to be flirtatious to men.

Kara almost looks like she isn’t quite part of this conversation, but Lena is quick to make it clear that she is just as interested in Kara, if not more:

I feel like after it became apparent that Lena and Kara were slowly becoming friends, it Lena just sort of shoved it to the back of her mind where she almost forgot about it as their relationship developed, and yet she couldn’t always avoid lingering glances, lip bites and blushes, and her tendencies to wear something that Kara might like. Holy shit that dress.

All in all, her relationship with Kara became more valuable to her than whatever it is that she felt for the other woman, which is why she never allowed herself to spare it much thought, though her body language failed to receive the message.

What pushed her over the edge is definitely Kara’s revelation, and the betrayal she felt as suddenly, Kara Danvers suddenly wasn’t someone who felt real to her anymore. Sure, Lena’s Achilles heel is betrayal, but she must realize that with Kara, it suddenly feels a thousand times worse. And why? She’s going to start knowing why. I believe Katie McGrath once mentioned that the one thing that’s going to save Kara and Lena’s relationship is one of them taking a big leap. I think that leap is going to turn into endgame. They’re both going to realize that they have feelings for one another, but one of them is going to take the chance, probably Kara, and then Lena will finally allow herself to realize the same. I speak that into existence. I’ve planted that seed and I will see the harvest.

As for Kara, she doesn’t know that she’s in love with Lena. Sure, she understands the happiness and warmth that she feels when she’s around her and she knows she’d do anything to keep her safe and stand in her corner, but she genuinely thinks that it’s because Lena is simply the Best Friend in the Whole Universe that she’s ever had and also, it’s kind of Kara’s thing to be loyal.

I haven’t seen Supergirl season 1, but I believe that people describe Kara’s reaction to Alex coming out to her like, “oh, I didn’t know that was an option.” Kara’s next realization is going to be, “oh, I didn’t know dating Lena was an option.”

For a while, I think she’s going to continue brooding and sulking a bit over the loss of Lena, but she too will reach a point where she’s going to realize that there’s a reason why she’s missing Lena so much, and why she was so terrified of telling her about her identity. There’s a reason why she felt happier, lighter, and stronger, after she told Lena and convinced herself that Lena was okay with it. And she will get that feeling again, because Kara and Lena will find their way back to each other. Lena just needs to know and understand that Kara is still who she is, and that their relationship wasn’t all a lie. Hence, why I think Kara will take the leap and perform the big gesture.

Also, the show keeps hinting at Kara and Lena being...something. Dare I say endgame? They’re not in your face about it (like all shows with a usually M/F endgame couple), but they’re giving off enough hints that even a neutral viewer can fill in the gaps. A character describing the betrayal “she broke my heart”, words that someone wouldn’t usually say about a platonic friend? Check. Romantic music with relatable song lyrics? Check. An alternate universe in which character’s motivations are shifted, and yet they make sure to specifically mention that this universe’s Lena is Supergirl’s biggest supporter? Check. I feel like they’re testing the waters and while I wish that they just had the guts to say “fuck it, they’re endgame” like Naughty Dog said “fuck y’all, Ellie is gay and there’s nothing any of y’all homophobes can do to stop it here’s a 5 min video of her kissing a woman” I guess it’s up to us to send them a message back: ya, we dig it, we want it, we’ll give you clout.

If they weren’t such cowards they would simply let Kara meet a Lena from a different universe and they would be wives and that would make Kara realize that there’s something there worth exploring with her Lena.

God, I’m so glad that they didn’t wipe Lena’s memories. They need to wade through all this shit but I truly believe they’re going to come out of it stronger they’ve ever been and they will both have girlfriends, as they will be each other’s girlfriends.

If not, and the SG showrunners are literally just using Supercorp for attention (which I’m starting to doubt more and more since news outlets are also beginning to speak up about them) then I will consider this queerbaiting betrayal of the highest order and I will take that resentment to my grave. Because I have eyes and common sense, and at this point it’s damn near impossible to say that Kara and Lena aren’t supposed to end up together.

[eagles-translated]

I’ve been getting a few asks about the storylines in season 2 and I haven’t had the time to respond to them all yet, so I’m making this post and answering all of them at the same time. Thanks to @elliephunk80​ for giving me this idea! 💛🌞

Contains spoilers up till episode 7 of season 2.

I’ll be dividing this couples-wise, since most of my questions seem to be based around the relationships in the new season! They are:

Felicia & Jack Elias & Klara Ludde & Amie Elias & Amie (saving the best for last ofc)

Felicia & Jack

Starting off with Felicia and Jack, which I’m honestly not too crazy about. I definitely like the addition of Jack as a character, but I’m not entirely sure this relationship is a good fit.

In my honest opinion I feel like these two are sort of an odd couple and it hasn’t been addressed by anybody except Elias, who brought up the topic of Jack being Felicia’s old babysitter and how it reminded him of a “sleazy porno”. I wouldn’t go that far, but from what we know there’s a pretty big age gap considering Felicia still isn’t 18 yet and Jack seems to be in his mid-20s. 

And I also just don’t see them having that much in common besides them having known each other in the past and both being good-looking people. It just seems sort of strange, and I don’t get what they see in each other for them to be a real couple. It started out as just a hook-up when Felicia was both drunk and high, and it seems to still be more focused on appearances rather than them actually being in love.

I’m also sort of fearful for Felicia. We know she’s in a really vulnerable state right now - still not being over Ludde, having lost her best friend, her parents divorcing, and being back on drugs.

I still don’t know if Jack really is cheating on Felicia with Olivia (the girl that texted him) but I would say he is. Jack is incredibly confident and charming, which makes him able to easily lie and manipulate people. We know he’s not an entirely good person since he’s already lied to Elias about now knowing that Mats would bring him back to Eagles. I wouldn’t be surprised if he really did hook up with Olivia and ended up being a really good liar.

The fact is that not only did he deny it but he then shamed Felicia for blaming him and causing a scene, ultimately shifting the focus in the argument to her and making Felicia feel bad that she even confronted him in the first place. Jack says that maybe they shouldn’t even be together, which causes Felicia to backtrack and apologize. It’s actually pretty impressive how Jack was able to spin that around to blame Felicia and make her apologize. But it’s not a healthy relationship - there’s this toxicity, the age gap, and I just have a bad feeling all around about how it will end. I really don’t want Felicia to spiral even further down.

As for the fight in the season 2 trailer, that could very well be Jack and Elias! Elias is incredibly protective of his sister and if Jack did indeed cheat on her and it came out that would be a pretty plausible reason for them fighting.

This is a very blurry and low quality picture, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was them. In fact, I can’t see who else it would be. At the time of the trailer releasing I was unsure of who it could be since we hadn’t yet seen Jack in any scenes and how he would fit into the story, but now I’m like 90% sure it’s him.

Elias & Klara

Moving onto Elias and Klara, the unexpected couple of the season. They actually have pretty good chemistry in my opinion, even if they’re not really my preferred pairing.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but we have to consider how much time has passed since that incident. It’s been three months since Klara posted that video and it’s been, what, almost five since she filmed it? I know Felicia is still incredibly hurt but the fact is that three months is actually a pretty long time when you actually think about it. You can’t stay mad at someone forever for something they did, and Elias said himself that he doesn’t blame Klara for what she did. She wasn’t the one who cheated on her boyfriend/betrayed her best friend, and it’s pretty clear that Klara holds some regret to the way she posted the video.

Might be getting sidetracked here, but I’m actually not mad at Ludde and Amie anymore either. They’ve apologized and apologized for three months straight (maybe Ludde more than Amie, but still) and there’s just not that much you can do when the person you hurt doesn’t even want to listen or talk to you. Eventually, you just kind of move on. I honestly feel like Felicia was really annoying when she threw food at Amie and told her to be quiet. Like, yes, we get that they both hurt her but the way Felicia acted and the fact that she couldn’t just be the bigger person bothered me and made me sympathize with her less.

Back to the question - I feel like Elias and Klara make a lot of sense and Klara seems to be becoming a better person when she’s with him. She’s not a complete monster. She’s just a teenage girl with a complicated living situation and probably some jealousy issues. Don’t get me wrong, I hated her back in season 1 for being so nasty, but she’s honestly improving as a person.

I agree. I kind of miss Sara but I like that she doesn’t really hang out with Klara as much anymore. I actually wish that Klara would’ve become more ostracized from her school friends to emphasize how alone she is, but she seems to still be pretty popular so that was kind of disappointing. I thought the fall-out of her posting the video would be worse, but I guess not.

Anyway, I like that they’re taking a disliked character and making her into a better person. Feels like it’s been done a few times before, but I still appreciate them doing it. I hated s1 Klara for being so one-dimensional, but s2 Klara is well on her way to being a pretty good and nuanced character.

First off, I appreciate you too! 💛 But I think I actually disagree a little on the whole Klara thing - yeah, she didn’t really “pay” for what she did, but she’s still aware that what she did was wrong and could’ve been done a whole lot better than posting a video for everybody to see.

If Elias likes her and they’re happy together, I don’t see why they wouldn’t work! I don’t want them to be endgame, but so far I’ve liked seeing them together because they have really good chemistry and they seem to understand each other. 

Ludde & Amie

Ludde and Amie have kind of grown closer this season, not only because they worked on the demo together but also because they both hurt Felicia. I think they’re both feeling really lonely but they’ve bonded as friends. Notice that I said friends and not as a couple, which I’ll explain down below.

So as we know, Amie kissed Ludde in episode 6 when he was in the hospital after having been injured during the hockey game against Karlskrona. She immediately seemed to regret having done that and ran out without an explanation, leaving Ludde alone and confused.

I honestly don’t think Amie has any romantic feelings towards Ludde. I think she might mistake her feelings for a crush or something, when in reality she’s just lonely and appreciates Ludde always being there for her and giving her compliments on her musical ability. Ludde was complimenting Amie at the hospital, saying she was amazing, and I think Amie was just really touched by that and maybe wanted to thank him somehow, and ended up kissing him. And then she freaked out and left because oh my god did she really just kiss Ludde. It was an uncomfortable and awkward situation and that’s probably why she ran out.

However, I really believe that if she had just stayed to explain and apologize, Ludde would understand and they could’ve just laughed it off. But this is a drama show so of course that wouldn’t happen! 

Do I think the writers are making them into a couple? No, definitely not. They know that season 1 was sort of predictable and cliché, so they’re making season 2 as different as possible by including these unexpected pairings such as Klara & Elias and Amie & Ludde. But Amie and Ludde won’t ever be a couple, because Ludde is still very much hung up on Felicia. I don’t see them as a couple either - yes, they have music in common, but they work way better as friends than in a relationship.

I think the kiss was written to 1) be unexpected and throw us off, 2) ensure the viewers that Ludde is still in love with Felicia despite spending so much time with Amie, and 3) to show that Amie is feeling really lonely after having lost her best friend. 

I feel like Amie is getting just as much screentime as she did in season 1, though! She’s got a storyline with Ludde and she’s definitely still a main character. Personally I’m really enjoying the way they’ve divided the time this season.

In the first season, Felicia got way too much screentime and I know they did that to show how many things she went through, but because of the short 20-minute episodes that didn’t leave enough time for everybody else. This time around, it seems more fair and like we’re getting more variety in the storylines. With this change, Elias has also gotten more screentime which I love (because he’s my favorite character, duh) and I feel like if Amie got more screentime than she’s already getting, it would sort of disrupt the whole “balance”.

It’s always difficult to make sure that the characters are all getting enough time to develop their storylines so I can understand your frustration. It’s especially difficult with so few episodes.

Unrelated topic, but an example of this would be Mats and Petra. They’ve both had a few scenes in season 2 but at this point, when we’re seven episodes in and they haven’t been in a single scene together, it sort of feels like the writers forgot about their past relationship. It seemed like the writers were going somewhere with them in S01E07 - Road trip, but maybe that was just to parallel Elias and Amie’s relationship? Bringing us to the next and final subject -

Elias & Amie

Man, these two are SO incredibly popular despite having only shared a few scenes in season 1. And don’t be scared if you think the writers forgot about them, because if you saw the Q&A with Stefan H. Lindén who is both the creator and one of the producers of the show he had some really interesting things to say about them.

He emphasized that the writers know how much the fans want to see them together and that they did have plans for Amie and Elias in the future, just that it might take some time because of how the character dynamics are right now after the fall-out of the Halloween incident (and the fact that Elias is currently in a relationship with Klara).

This is totally a valid opinion too! They’re two vastly different characters and while that’s probably the reason they’re such a popular pairing, it could also be a little off-putting to some people since they don’t really seem to have anything in common. In fact, Amie has a lot more in common with Ludde, but I’d actually argue that her chemistry is better with Elias.

I think we should wait until we get more scenes of them interacting though, however long that may be. 

All in all, I just wanted to express how excited I was to see the scene in the hospital and how excited Elias was to see Amie (and even complimenting her hair aaaa). He expressed that Amie and Ludde did mess up, but he doesn’t seem upset or mad at Amie at all which was a relief. He just got so adorable around her and I’m really impatient to see them together haha but I have total faith in the writers!

To finish this off, there’s still 3 episodes left so anything could happen. It’s really exciting to see what will happen with Amie in Stockholm and with Ludde having turned himself in to the police, and I absolutely can’t wait for the next episode!

[otp-armada]

I am not looking forward to these flashbacks. 

To date, we’ve had four onscreen kisses shared between Bellamy and Echo with additional, smaller moments of other forms of intimacy. I’d rather the show refrain from adding more tally marks to the count. 

If humans were gifted with the capacity for purging unwanted memories, then all this discomfort would be a moot point. I suppose there’s always alcohol as a fallback option, but not even the prospect of temporary amnesia is worth destroying my liver. Turning to alcohol to drown my B/E-related sorrows would probably qualify more as self-harm than self-help.

I’d much prefer to cut directly to an imminent breakup scene without the pomp and circumstance of an agonized Echo’s trip down memory lane. 

If anything, supplying us with visual evidence on how happy they were together is an even sadder remark on the state of B/E’s fragility, knowing it took 0.001 seconds for the mere mention of Clarke’s name to bring it all to ruin. No collection of past happy moments shared on the Ring erases the fractures in their relationship that occur between them afterward, originating with the revelation of a still-living Clarke. I'd be an absolute fool to believe otherwise. 

But if Jason deems a tour of their greatest hits as necessary to the story, I trust his judgment. Showing us B/E's origins as their romantic relationship begins to fall apart in real-time brings it full circle, and it lends gravitas to the story he's telling with Echo. With this particular arc, the bigger picture is still Echo's evolution. It's not about B/E.  

Once season 7 started, there was a visible shift in how Jason utilized B/E.  Whereas seasons 5 and 6 primarily used B/E as the third leg in a love triangle designed to keep a pining Bellarke apart, season 7 uses their master-spy dynamic to bolster Echo's development almost exclusively. Post-season 6, Bellarke is so primed to get together, one honest admission of mutual feelings without Echo as an obstacle and BOOM. Canon couple. 

Echo has a more extensive role than girl-to-be-dumped, and I'm not upset over it. She gets to stand up as a character after the majority of her life has been marked by slavery for her crown, and I'm not upset over it. As indemnification for the loss of her relationship, this orphan-turned-soldier is finding her place in a supportive, loving family while developing a sense of identity and independence, and I'm not upset over it.

I would’ve preferred Jason found a way to take her on this path without B/E remaining intact this far into the final season and theoretically for the foreseeable episodes. I would always choose to end them sooner rather than later, given a choice. But I understand why Jason didn't. 

Echo can’t very well outgrow a master-spy complex if there is no master to her spy. And as much as I hate it, the romantic aspect of B/E is a believable, convenient tool to keep this complex in place until her story comes to fruition. Would Echo act so extremely in service to a recent ex-boyfriend who left her for another woman? Probably not. As far as I can tell, the pinnacle of her arc is the moment she realizes she has to break free from Bellamy. So narrative structure demands B/E stay together, however technically, long enough for her to break those chains. 

I was initially excited about the flashbacks, if only because I took them as a sign of an impending breakup. But the timing doesn't pan out. Aside from the logistics of Echo and Bellamy presumably on separate worlds, and with her thinking him dead, we've only just reached the point where Echo might start to ask herself those hard questions she's been avoiding. She must have noticed a change in her relationship. Between Psychosis!Emori, B/E's 6x04 fight, and Anomaly!Roan, she's had enough cause for doubt. But I think she's suppressed any urge to reflect upon it for a number of reasons. Love. Continued hope they'll last. War. A mission to save him. It took a lot of meticulous maneuvering to corner Echo to this point. Now that we're here, I don't think Jason would pull a reverse Uno card in a 40-minute episode. It seems more likely that he will let her continue to stew in her emotions. Either she'll keep sinking until she hits rock bottom, or she'll start learning how to swim. 

Jason could always prove me wrong. And if I am, I'd never be happier for him to do so. If I'm not? It's at times like this when I am reminded of the resolution I made at the end of season 6- rest easy in the comfort of knowing B/E will meet its inevitable end but do not try to speculate when that might be. Attempting to discern the specifics of "when" brings one only misery. 

Jason’s signature sometimes-too-fast, other-times-too-slow pacing, is often liable to tempt one into ripping their own hair out. That being said, I’ve seen enough of this show to trust in his ability to tell a damn good story. Faith in his competency for the craft just requires on our part, the patience of a saint. 

If nothing else, it isn’t my story to tell, so I’ll just have to suck it up and find a way to deal with any disappointments I may feel. Or I can try to find the value within the story told. It's a better alternative than to be left bitter. No promises, though.

Maybe Echo’s actions against the Disciples aren’t reprehensible, considering the people she’s killing are those complicit in kidnapping and torturing her people. But Orlando was a good, honorable man whose naïveté convinced him to play for the wrong team, yet helped our heroes when he didn’t have to. Not unlike Shaw, whom Echo sold to Diyoza to fulfill her mission. But I assume “We are not his people” is residual mistrust leftover from Ryker’s betrayal of her. She miscalculated the feelings of one possible defector before, she won’t make the same mistake twice. 

If she was able to save Bellamy in the end, I’m sure she’d be able to justify the spilled blood it took to get there. But Orlando suffered at her hands for nothing, and she may not be overly concerned with morality, but she cares for the people she grows close to. Unless the episode proves otherwise, I’d like to think Orlando’s fate will weigh heavily on her. 

They may not have been close. But five years in close quarters with only a few people akin to friends for comfort, it'd be hard not to feel the slightest bit attached.

Those of us who believe in Bellarke know Echo is the third-party obstacle in a love triangle. But what is far more interesting is the role she played in the seasons-long Blake siblings struggle. 

Echo was persona non grata to both siblings following her and Octavia's mountaintop fight. Six years later, she highlights the difference in the siblings' maturities. Whereas Bellamy has learned to embrace empathy and forgiveness with open arms, Octavia is cold and unyielding. On a more personal note, B/E represents Octavia's persistent unwillingness to respect Bellamy as his own person, with needs and wants independent of her. 

After her soul searching on Skyring, I thought she had buried the hatchet, as per her lack of vitriol in her 6x12 conversation with Bellamy, and enthusiastically joining forces with Echo in 6x13. Maybe she did. But Octavia has also proven herself an unreliable narrator, and Hope feels indignation on her aunt's behalf. Whatever the case, there's a reason why the dialogue keeps referencing Echo and Octavia's hostile history. And I think it's building to a head in 7x07. 

I think mutual love for Bellamy is healing the divide between them when Echo is at her most fractured. She's isolated from Bellamy and the rest of Spacekru. Left in pain and seeking retribution as Octavia did, which, as we know, is where it all went wrong for the latter. Octavia, more than most, is in the best position to empathize with what Echo is currently feeling and how pain can destroy her if she lets it consume her. 

If Octavia can remind Echo she's not alone, if a former enemy can convince her she belongs and welcome her with open arms- as her brother did before her- it might do well in healing some broken piece inside of her. And it would be a roundabout display of Octavia's newfound maturity. This is good for both of them. This spiral she is in will require her to look inward. Since her fixation with Bellamy is partly what landed her in this mess, absolution cannot come from him. She can only find it in herself if she wants it. But I'd be glad if Octavia can help see her through it. This is what I mean about seeking value in the story told. We're so concerned about Octavia calling Echo family, about the possibility of it legitimizing B/E, it doesn't occur to us that it's about the characters themselves. And B/E is only a vehicle used to bring us there. It's easier to see when not consumed by automatic seething rage, as typical of our fellow Bellarke compatriots, for anything remotely associated with Echo.

If my heart and mind weren’t chanting “BELLARKEBELLARKEBELLARKE,” there’s a good chance I’d be able to better appreciate the complexities B/E gives to the development of the four characters it directly impacts. 

Our side of fandom has made lots of accusations about B/E since 5x01. It’s a forgettable, physical relationship worth little to Bellamy. B/E is unhealthy for reasons x, y, and z. We generate a different example in every episode. Click slideshow for more details. But the fact of the matter is, much of this isn't true. Until Echo went postal, B/E wasn’t unhealthy. Bellamy just had a greater love for Clarke. Up until their ending scene in 6x04, there was nothing they couldn’t come back from together, if both committed themselves fully, no more walls. It's not a particularly popular train of thought among us, but Jason absolutely could've written B/E as an endgame pairing. And all it would take to deliver a final killing blow is the inclusion of a single damning scene.

We can gripe over the length of time they've stayed together. But, in spite of what most people think about every new B/E development and Bellarke separation, Jason has never actually dropped an ax on Bellarke. Hope persists.

Jason is responsible for the development of dozens of characters, major plots, and dozens of smaller subplots. But our fandom reduced the story chiefly to Bellarke's romance. Our villains are those who stand in their way. Namely Echo, the only outside love interest to be an official obstacle. We fashioned Echo as our enemy. In lieu of removing her from the narrative (which is not in our power to do), we've done everything within our purview to diminish her. If Jason won't treat B/E and Echo as the jokes we know they are, we'll do it ourselves. Minimizing her role in the story makes it a hell of a lot easier to erase a character we'd rather didn't exist for our preferred ship to advance.

Lord knows how many times we've claimed she has no story. That absent relevance or substantial bearing, she's there simply because Jason is partial to her for some elusive reason. But the reality is, we never looked for her story because we wanted to be able to claim its inexistence. We wanted to be able to say she's frivolous to the story, and by extension, to Bellamy. We want to be able to dismantle B/E when it appears Jason doesn't. Except he is and has been doing so since day one. 

Months ago, on a whim, when I was feeling benevolent towards Echo, I wrote a long post HERE giving her the benefit of the doubt, and I said:

In the grand scheme of the story, I think this is the purpose Echo serves, to represent the part that says, “We’re all human. No matter what tribe we belong to, we fight for the same reasons. We love the same way. When you leave allegiances aside, when you see someone for who they are at their core, an enemy today can become a friend tomorrow.”

True peace, a series-long running theme for our heroes, begins with embracing former outsiders like Echo and Emori. Easy to lose sight of this when focused on ship wars. 

It is perfectly acceptable not to love all the components of a story. It is understandable to focus your attention on those select segments you find appealing. But a tunnel-visioned mindset lands you in trouble when you become resentful at the reminders that a story is a composite of more moving pieces than just the parts you like. And when you forget that screentime allotted to developing those pieces ahead of what you favor is permissible. Everything on a show has its time, all in due course. 

On the other hand, B/E shippers overinflate their ship's significance. They take canon and twist it to say, "Look at how strong B/E is, Bellarke could never. B/E is endgame, and Blorkes are delusional." Their conclusion of an epic love is another bias-based fandom interpretation that doesn’t hold water, either. 

I think the reality of B/E lies somewhere in a muddled middle of these two extremes. 

One last point, and I'll get off my soapbox. Despite what the melodramatic diatribe in my opening paragraph suggests, B/E is never as atrocious as fandom makes them out to be. Greater fandom treats anything remotely associated with B/E as the next great catastrophe. And as it turns out, it never really is.  

 Tagging @sometimesrosy, because I think, after years of combating opinions you don’t agree with, it might be a refreshing change of pace to know some of us do have more balanced views regarding B/E. If I do say so myself.

[crue-sixx]

I’ll Always Be Here For You (Steve Rogers/Captain America Imagine)

Summary: You try to hold it together after the passing of your brother, but it all becomes too much. Steve is there to help.

Warning: Panic attack.

There are major Avengers: Endgame spoilers in this.

You sat on the couch with your niece and sister-in-law, Morgan and Pepper, as the holographic video of your older brother played before you. It was almost as if Tony were really there, but he wasn’t. He was gone and you still couldn’t believe it. You were in shock over the whole thing and in complete denial. He couldn’t be gone. He was Tony Stark...Iron Man. Nothing could defeat Iron Man.

You and Tony had been very close. He had raised you when the untimely passing of your parents occurred. He had always been there for you and made sure that you were well taken care of. You looked up to your older brother so much. You grew up and decided to follow in his foot steps by working for his company then by becoming an Avenger, much to his dismay. He was worried about you and your safety, which caused a bit of a rift between you two. He eventually accepted it, however. You two were an amazing team together. You had your ups and downs, but you were family. He was the only family you had left and he was gone. Morgan and Pepper were your family of course, but you and Tony had been through so much together.

You and the rest of the team had suffered two major losses during this battle. Natasha was the first one to sacrifice herself. It came as a complete shock. You were absolutely devastated. Natasha was your best friend and she was just gone. You didn’t think it could get any worse, but then the battle against Thanos and his minions occurred. Tony was the next one to sacrifice himself.

You held Morgan’s little hand in yours as you all watched Tony. Your fiancée, Steve, was stood right behind you. His hand was on your shoulder and he squeezed it in a comforting manner.

“I love you, 3000,” Tony spoke before he signed off. His Iron Man helmet stopped playing the hologram and you all sat there quietly for a bit.

“I love you, 3000, daddy,” Morgan said, which tore at your heart strings.

You looked down at her as she moved closer into Pepper’s side. Pepper wrapped her arm around her and kissed her head before she looked over at you. You gave her a small smile to try to comfort her. You had been trying to stay strong for Pepper and Morgan. They needed you and you were going to make sure you were strong for them. You’d cried on the battlefield when you watched your brother take his last breath as he looked at you and Pepper. You vowed to stay strong after that.

“Are you ready, Y/N?” Pepper asked you and you nodded at her.

You took one of Morgan’s hands as Pepper took her other. Happy handed Pepper the wreath that was made for his memorial, which was why everyone was together. The wreath had his arc reactor on it that Pepper gifted him that read, “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.”

Everyone started gathering outside. You, Morgan, and Pepper all walked out to the ramp of the lake hand-in-hand. Steve stayed close behind you. He had been there for you through the whole thing, never leaving your side. He was worried about you, especially since you didn’t seem to be letting yourself grieve properly. He could tell you were holding it all in and knew how dangerous that could be. He let you do your thing, however, and made sure he was there in case you needed him.

You, Morgan, and Pepper all bent down, placing the wreath into the lake together. You watched it float away as you squeezed Morgan’s hand in yours before she wrapped both of her arms around Pepper. It was like watching that arc reactor float away made it sink in fully. Your brother was gone. He wasn’t there for you to talk to anymore. He wasn’t there to give you advice anymore. He wasn’t there for you to annoy each other. He was really gone.

As some time passed, you felt your chest tightening up as you watched the wreath float in the water. You tried to make the feeling pass, but it only became stronger as if it were damanding to be noticed. You stood from your spot on the ramp and tried to keep your breathing steady.

“I-I’ll be back,” you spoke shakily to Pepper before you quickly turned and started walking away.

You started passing by everyone. Happy watched you walk away with a worried look and Peter Parker looked at you sadly as if he knew what was happening. He also knew that you had been holding in your grief. The boy was close to you and your brother both, but especially to your brother.

You finally made it into the house and ran up the stairs quickly. You made it into the guest room, where you and Steve had been staying, and shut the door behind you before you leaned back against it. You couldn’t hold it back any longer so you let it out. You began sobbing uncontrollably as your chest tightened up. It felt like something heavy was on it and really there was. Your grief was weighing heavily on you and could no longer be ignored. It demanded to be recognized.

You tried breathing as you sobbed, but found it hard to. You knew that you were dealing with a panic attack at this point. It was something that you and your brother both suffered from. You would usually help each other in these situations, but he was no longer there to do that.

There was a knock on the door and you put your hand to your mouth to try to keep your sobs down.

“Y/N,” Steve spoke from behind the door. “Can I come in, doll?”

“Steve,” you sobbed out as you pushed yourself off of the door and opened it.

Steve looked at you and came into the room quickly when he saw the state you were in. He shut the door behind him before he gathered you into his arms and held you against him.

“St-Steve, he’s g-gone,” you sobbed out. “M-my b-brother’s gone!”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed out sadly as he rubbed your back and placed his lips on top of your head.

“I-I can’t br-breathe,” you choked out.

Steve picked you up and carried you over to the bed. He sat down on it and placed you in his lap before he pulled away a bit so that he could look at you. His hands came up and held your face as your own hands held tightly to his wrists.

“Y/N, doll, look at me,” he told you. “Look at me, sweetheart. Just focus those pretty eyes on me.”

You were looking around in a panic, but your eyes eventually landed on his and he nodded.

“That’s good,” he said as he wiped away the never ending tears. “Just focus on me, okay?” He moved one of his hands and took one of yours, placing it on his chest where his heart was. “Focus on the beating of my heart and my breathing and try to follow it.”

You felt the beating of his heart beneath your hand, steady and strong. You could also feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. He took some deep breaths and let them out slowly to show you how to breathe. You tried to put all of your attention on him. You closed your eyes so you could focus more and began trying to take some calming breaths.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he said, encouraging you. “You’re doing so good. Just keep doing that for me.”

You did as he told you. You matched your breathing with his and found yourself starting to calm down. The tears still came, but the panicky feeling was starting to evaporate from you. It took some time, but you eventually calmed down enough to breathe properly again.

“There you go,” Steve said and squeezed your hand in his before he brought it to his lips and kissed it.

You finally opened your eyes and looked at Steve, who was looking right back at you. He looked worried, but was keeping his cool for you.

“I should’ve been there for him, Steve,” you told him.

“You were there for him, doll.”

“No, I-I mean I should’ve been there to stop him,” you told him. “To save him! I should’ve been the one to use the stones!”

Steve’s face fell at that and he shook his head quickly. “Y/N...no. Don’t say that.”

“It’s true!” You told him. “Tony’s always been there for me and I should’ve been there for him! He finally had everything he wanted and deserved...Pepper and Morgan. They need him. Morgan needs her father and Pepper needs her husband, Steve. It should’ve been me!”

“Y/N, you know good and well that Tony would’ve done everything he could to keep you from sacrificing yourself,” he told you. “You’re his sister and he loved you so much. There’s absolutely nothing you could’ve done to stop him so don’t blame yourself for any of this. He wouldn’t want you to. He did what he did for his family...for you. He was important, but you’re important too. I love you, Y/N, and I need you. Your loved by so many. The world needs Y/N Stark so don’t ever say that it should’ve been you.”

You knew Steve was right about your brother not letting you sacrifice yourself. Tony would’ve chose the same path to keep you all safe. It just hurt you too much. Why did it all have to play out like this? Why did Natasha and Tony have to sacrifice themselves? They didn’t deserve it. You all should be together. They did what they had to to save the world, but they deserved so much better.

Steve kissed your forehead before he pulled you close. You buried your face in his chest as you continued crying. You were probably making a mess of his shirt, but neither of you cared. He rubbed your back as you let it all out, whispering comforting words to you.

“Tony’s not going to be here to watch us get married or to walk me down the aisle,” you said aloud after a while. It hurt to think about, but it weighed heavy on you. “Natasha won’t be here either.”

“He’ll be there, doll,” Steve said and kissed your head. “He may not be there physically, but I know he’ll be there in spirit. He’ll probably be glaring daggers into me because I’m marrying his baby sister. Natasha will be there too.”

You smiled a little at that as you raised up to look at Steve. His eyes were watering as if he were holding back his own tears, but one fell. He wiped your tears away again and pecked your lips before you wiped his tear away in return.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” he told you and rest his forehead on yours.

“I love you too, Steve,” you told him. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“I’ll always be here for you, doll,” he told you.

[softspideys]

Alone (Peter Parker x Stark!Reader)

summary: on the day of the funeral, you’re feeling more alone than ever. good thing your worst enemy peter parker is there to remind you that you’re not. 

warnings: angst, ***MAJOR endgame spoilers!!!***

words: 2.9k

pairings: peter parker x stark!reader

a/n: yes more angst I’m SORRY. also another reminder that if you haven’t seen endgame still you should definitely not read this :^)

When Pepper came into your bedroom on the morning of your father’s funeral you were gone, but your window was open. She stuck her head out and found you sitting on the roof, your knees hugged to your chest.

“How long have you been up?” she asked quietly, her voice shattering the silence you’d grown accustomed to.

You shrugged. If you were being honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept. Every time you tried, you were faced with nightmares of that final battle, of your father’s wide, unseeing eyes boring into your own.

So what if humanity was saved? So what if everyone was back? So what if Thanos was gone? You didn’t care about any of it, not anymore. Not if it also meant your father was dead in exchange.

“Come eat some breakfast,” Pepper said.

“Not hungry.”

“At least come inside,” she said. “It’s cold.” It was almost summertime, but the nights and early mornings were still chilly. Not that you really felt it. Not that you really felt anything anymore.

But she sounded so tired, and you knew today was going to be just as hard for her as it was for you. So you relented, climbing back through your window. Pepper stepped back, watching as you landed less-than-gracefully before straightening up and facing her. She said nothing, reaching out and smoothing your hair. You thought maybe she was going to start crying or worse, hug you, but all she said was, “Try not to kill Peter Parker when you see him today, please.”

“No promises,” you said. She sighed.

“Everyone will be here soon. Finish getting ready, will you?”

You nodded. She squeezed your shoulder once before leaving you alone at last.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love your stepmother. You did, of course you did. She’d raised you like one of her own long before she and Tony ever got together. You were just having a hard time accepting the fact that she and Morgan were the only family you had left now, and they weren’t even 100% yours.

For as long as you could remember, it had been you and Tony against the world. After he took you in when your mother dropped you at his doorstep as a baby (only after a paternity test proved you were his, of course), it was rare to see him without you. You were at the press conference when he announced he was Iron Man. You went to every hearing, every charity gala, every party. You watched as he went from a consultant for S.H.I.E.L.D. to the leader of the Avengers. You kept him company in his workshop during the long, lonely nights when Pepper was gone and the group had splintered and no one else was there for him.

And now he was gone. And you were alone.  

The sound of the front door opening, followed by muffled voices, broke you out of your trance. You looked over at your bed, where your plain, short-sleeved black dress was waiting for you.

When you went downstairs a few minutes later you were greeted by a crowd: Steve, Happy, Rhodey, Bucky, Banner, Clint, Thor, Sam, Nick Fury, Carol Danvers. According to Pepper, more people were coming: there was still Scott Lang, T’Challa, Dr. Strange, and Nebula, plus all of their families. Even Harley Keener had texted you to say he was making the trip up.

You knew it should’ve made you happy that your dad was loved and respected by so many people, but instead it just made you angry. Look at everyone you left behind.

No one really knew what to say to you, and you didn’t particularly feel like talking anyway, so you retreated back into the living room and sat on the couch with Morgan, watching her color. She wasn’t as sad as you and Pepper were; mostly just confused. In some ways that made it even worse.

There was another knock on the front door. Since you were closest and Pepper had her hands full in the kitchen, you got up and opened it. You immediately wished you hadn’t.

Peter and May Parker were standing on your porch, dressed in all black. She smiled when she saw you, but his jaw tightened, and even though his hands were in his pockets you could tell they were clenched into fists.

To say you and Peter despised each other was an understatement. You’d been competing for Tony’s attention since the day you met: you may have been his daughter, but Peter was the son he’d always wanted. He had an advantage and never failed to remind you of it.

You hated the bond they shared. You hated coming home and finding them tinkering away in Tony’s workshop. You hated when he stayed for dinner, or when your dad consulted him on a project over you. You hated his stupid smile and his know-it-all brain and how quickly and easily Tony grew to love him. You were so used to being the center of Tony’s world and now you had to share him with someone else, someone who barely even knew him. Peter, you assumed, hated you simply because you hated him. There was no reason for him to be jealous of you.

The worst part by far was how attractive he was. When you’d first met, he was nothing but a scrawny kid. But months of training with the Avengers, plus the natural wonders of puberty, had turned him into someone taller and muscular. It wasn’t fair that someone so annoying could also be so good-looking. You were never sure if you wanted to punch him or kiss him.

“Hello,” you said stiffly.

“Hi, honey,” May said, leaning in to give you a hug. For some reason you let her; May Parker just had that motherly effect on you. Peter, however, brushed by you without saying a word.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly as you stood aside to let her in. “He’s been like this with me, too.”

You doubted it, but nodded anyway. “It’s fine.” You shut the door and sat back on the couch next to your half-sister, listening vaguely to everyone talking in the kitchen.

“Wanna color?” Morgan offered. You looked at her paper. She was drawing a forest of some kind, all flowers and trees and wonky animals.

“No thanks.”

“Is it ’cause you’re sad?” she asked, rather bluntly. You blinked.

“What?”

“Mommy says you’re sad about Daddy,” she said without looking up from her drawing. “And that’s why you won’t do stuff with me anymore.”

For such a little kid, you forgot how perceptive she could be. Yup, definitely Tony Stark’s daughter. But was sad really the right word for it? Was there even a word to describe the empty, crushing feeling that sat on your chest day and night?

“Yeah,” you said finally. “I am sad.”

Morgan nodded thoughtfully. “Sorry you’re sad,” she said, pushing her drawing over to you. “You can have this, if you want. It’s one of my best ones.”

Despite everything, you smiled a little. “Thanks,” you said. “I love it.” And just for a second, things were better.

Then Pepper came into the room. “There you both are.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “It’s time to go say good-bye.”

* * *

You found yourself on the roof again, watching the sun set behind the trees. You knew you should be downstairs with everyone else, talking and reminiscing about your dad, but you just didn’t have the energy for that yet.

The ceremony was nice. You knew your dad probably would’ve joked about why no one was throwing a parade and lighting off fireworks in his honor, but he secretly would’ve liked it.

“You gonna jump?” a voice said. You turned.

Peter Parker was sticking his head out the window, looking up at you. You gritted your teeth, fixing your eyes back on the horizon. “No.”

“Hmm.” With annoying ease, he climbed out of your room and onto the roof, hoisting himself up to sit next to you. “Why aren’t you inside with everyone else?”

“I wanted to be alone,” you said coldly. You knew he got the hint but was ignoring it anyway, and that made you even angrier. “Why are you here? What do you even want?”

“You shouldn’t be by yourself,” he said simply.

“Yeah, well a lot of things that shouldn’t be happening currently are,” you snapped. “What’s one more thing?”

He rolled his eyes and you had to fight the urge to push him off the roof. He’d survive somehow, anyway. “Maybe I don’t want to be alone, did you ever think of that? Maybe I’m doing this for me, not you.”

You blinked, a little startled. “Where’s your aunt?”

“You kidding? It’s like Smother City with her.”

You had to admit he had a point there, thinking of Pepper and all she’d tried to do to get to you to talk about your feelings and “start the healing process.”

“Whatever,” you said finally. You ignored the smirk that flickered across his face, knowing he’d won.

To his credit, he did manage to sit in awkward silence with you for a few minutes. Then a breeze blew past and you rubbed your arms. “You cold?” he asked.

“No.” But of course, he was already taking off his suit jacket and thrusting it at you. “I told you I’m not cold.”

“Why were you rubbing your arms then?”

“I don’t know, it’s a free country?”

“Just take the jacket.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Take it!”

“I said I don’t want it!”

“Just take the fucking jacket!” Peter said loudly.

“For fuck’s sake.” You snatched it from him and pulled it on. “There, are you happy now?”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Then go away!” you shouted. “No one’s making you be up here! I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t even know why you came up in the first place; you hate me!”

“Hate you?” he repeated. “I don’t hate you; I’m trying to be fucking nice to you. You’re the one who hates me. I don’t even know what I did.”

He sounded so tired, so defeated, and for some reason it made all the anger drain out of you. What was the point in fighting with him anymore? There was no one to impress anymore, no reason to beat him.

“You didn’t really do anything,” you said finally. “I’ve always just been . . . jealous, I guess.”

“Jealous? Of what, me?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, of you,” you said, annoyed. “You were like the son my dad always wanted. He loved you. You’re so smart and he always valued your opinion, sometimes over mine. And you’ve got these cool superpowers and I’m just . . . me. I never had to compete with anyone else for his attention before that, so I guess I just felt . . . threatened by you.”

Peter was facing you head-on now, wide-eyed. “That’s . . . that’s insane,” he said. “I mean, I know Mr. Stark and I got along really well and he became like a mentor to me, but . . . you’re his daughter. If anything, I was jealous of you.”

“Me,” you said incredulously.

“Uh, yeah,” Peter said. “He talked about you all the time. You meant the world to him. And you were there for everything, like when he became Iron Man and when the Avengers first formed. I was just that annoying new kid he found on YouTube who followed them everywhere.”

“You still are,” you muttered. To your surprise, he huffed out a laugh.

“Thanks. I guess it’s true, though. Bucky and Sam still barely give me the time of day. But you . . . you’re smart, and beautiful, and just like him. They all love and respect you. I’ve always been jealous of that.”

But you were still caught on one word. “Beautiful? You think I’m beautiful?”

It was dark, but you could see Peter’s cheeks flush. He looked up at the sky, drumming his fingers on his knees. “I—well—yeah, of course. Of course I do. Because you are.”

“Thank you,” you said, too stunned to even make a snarky comment. Since he was no longer looking at you, this gave you time to study him. He’d loosened his tie since the funeral, and you could see the fine muscles of his arms through his white dress shirt. His eyes were still red from crying earlier, but it didn’t look bad. His hair, which had been carefully gelled back earlier, was starting curl again. You liked it better that way.

When Peter spoke again, his voice was soft. “I never got to tell you how sorry I am.”

Your stomach dropped and you went back to staring at your knees. “You lost him too.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But he wasn’t my dad. He was yours.”

For some reason his words made tears well up in your eyes, ones that you hastily brushed away. “It’s just hard,” you said finally. “Tony was the only thing in this world that was 100% mine. He was my dad. Even when there was nothing, there was me and him. And now it’s just me.” You bowed your head, struggling to keep your voice even. “And I’m so mad. I’m so mad he died and left me alone because now I’m gonna have to spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how to be without him.”

“You’re not alone, though,” Peter said. “Tell me you know that. Even aside from Pepper and Morgan, you have Happy, Rhodey, May . . . me . . . all of us. We might not be blood, but we’re your family.”

You nodded wordlessly. You were still crying, but the hot tears felt good pouring down your face and neck. You’d been holding them in for far too long.

“And I know you miss him,” Peter said. “I miss him too. We all do. And I’ll help you make sure no one forgets him.”

“Promise?”

“Swear on my life.” He held out his pinky. You choked out a laugh, locking it with your own.

“Thank you,” you said. For some reason, crying in front of Peter Parker didn’t make you feel as shitty as you thought. Instead you felt . . . understood.

You went to wipe your eyes, but Peter reached out and caught your hand before you could. You turned to look at him, opening your mouth to speak, but stopped when he reached out with his other hand and cupped your face.

Gently, he brushed the tears away with his thumb. Even after they were gone, he still left his hand there. You hadn’t realized how close he’d been sitting to you this whole time, but you didn’t pull away.

For a second neither of you spoke, just sizing each other up. You knew where this was heading and found that you didn’t mind, not at all. “Peter Parker,” you said quietly, “are you starting to like me?”  

He rolled his eyes, but you caught a glimpse of affection in them. “I always liked you,” he mumbled before he leaned in and kissed you.

Part of you wondered if it was fucked up to be kissing a boy at your father’s funeral. The other part of you wondered why you hadn’t bothered to do this sooner. Peter let go of your hand and moved it to your waist, pulling you even closer to him, while you slid yours to the back of his neck, your fingers absently playing with the curls there. You felt him smile into it and realized you were smiling too.

“Hey!”

The two of you sprang apart, looking towards the window. Happy was glaring up at you. “Are you kidding me?” he demanded. “Everyone’s been looking for the both of you.”

“Tell them we’re up here,” you said, annoyed at being interrupted, while Peter squeaked out an apology.

Happy rolled his eyes, but even he didn’t have the heart to really be mad. “You should come down and be with everyone else.”

“We’ll be right there,” you said, raising your eyebrows.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Your dad called this whole thing ages ago, you know,” he said. “He’d be glad to know he was right.” With that, he left you and Peter alone again.

As soon as he was gone, you burst into giggles as Peter buried his head in your shoulder. “He scares the shit out of me already,” he complained. “And now he just caught me kissing Tony Stark’s daughter.”

“Those are the risks that come with being involved with me,” you said, shrugging.

“I guess I’m willing to take those risks,” Peter said with a grin that you found yourself returning. “Should we go inside?”

You stopped him before he could get up. “Can we stay for just a few more minutes?”

He nodded. “Sure. We can stay as long as you want.” He put his arm around you and you snuggled into his side, staring up at the stars. Silence fell between you again, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable. It promised that you would have more time to talk later.

As you sat there, feeling Peter’s warmth from both his body and his jacket, you realized there was a lightness in your chest that hadn’t been there in weeks. 

You would always miss Tony, and the pain of losing him was never going to go away. But you weren’t alone anymore. Not by a long shot.

[blancheludis]

A/N: @iron-man-bingo, square: post!Endgame Peter & Tony

Fandom: Marvel, MCU, Avengers Characters: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Tags: Iron Family, Grief, Emotional H/C, Iron Dad, Spiderson, Peter Needs A Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Lives Words: 2.151

Summary: After the war with Thanos is over, Peter goes to talk to Tony Stark's headstone, trying to make sense of the guilt he feels. He doesn't exactly think he'll find answers there, but he has to try. Luckily, he's not alone.

---

It is quiet in the cemetery. Peter is the only person there when he sits down on the cold ground in front of the veritable sea of flowers in front of Tony Stark’s headstone. It has been months since the reverse of the snap and still people are coming to leave flowers and their thanks. Peter has waited until dark before he went in. He is not comfortable with other people witnessing his grief.

Underneath his clothes, he is wearing the Spider-Man suit since he has come directly after patrol, but he is here as Peter Parker.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter greets and falls silent again.

He comes here too often, several people have told him that. May is worrying about him, of course, but his friends too, Ned and MJ who have lost five years too but appear to be dealing much better than him. Sometimes, he feels lost among them.

Peter does not have much to say tonight. The city is quiet, too quiet almost. The first outbreak of chaos after the miraculous return of all the Vanished has died down, and few people seem up to causing trouble again already. That should make it easier, transitioning back into life and a world that moved on without him.

It does not. Spider-Man has been Peter’s way to cope with everything fate has thrown at him. Swinging through calm streets has quickly lost its charm – although Peter feels guilty for even thinking that.

“Morgan asked me again to take her flying,” he says quietly, with a smile. “We should have known that Pepper would not be enough to teach your daughter common sense.”

Morgan is a gift. He has never exactly wanted siblings, but now he is glad to have her. Although it still feels strange to hear her call him big brother. It poses a constant struggle to do right by her.

“One of these days, she is not going to accept my deflections anymore.”

Taking a deep breath, Peter wonders how to continue. It usually helps, coming here, but he cannot explain the hollow feeling constantly spreading in his chest even to himself. He should be glad to be alive, and yet it always feels like something is missing.

“I still don’t sleep,” Peter admits but shrugs right away.

It is a stupid concern, because he does not need much sleep. And while he does not exactly have nightmares of wherever they went after the Snap, he is left with that feeling he cannot shake.

“I –”

“You should stop speaking to headstones,” a voice behind him speaks up, causing Peter to whirl around although he would recognize it anywhere.

“It’s your headstone,” Peter mutters as he takes in Tony Stark, standing before him with a hat that does not disguise him at all. At least he left the sunglasses off. Over the past months, they have learned how not to draw attention.

Tony should not be here. He rarely leaves the lake house, but sometimes he is reckless enough to wander right through the heart of New York. Pepper thinks he has not understood the magnitude of his increased celebrity status. People might have always known his face, even before he became Iron Man. Now, however, their entire universe has declared him its hero. Tony still expects it to die down soon, to watch the shrines disappear and the artists to move on to other motifs.

Surviving openly might have been less of a hassle after all, but Peter does not think that Tony regrets the decision of staying dead to the public. He did die. They just did everything in their power to bring him back – and succeeded.

“That makes it worse, kid,” Tony argues in a soft tone. “Don’t talk to headstones of people who are still alive.”

Few people know, mostly family. Tony was very adamant about leaving the Avengers out of it. He wants to spend the rest of his life watching his daughter grow up, not to be dragged back into the next war that is surely coming for them. Earth has enough heroes to defend her these days. And if he is needed anyway, he can still make a miraculous reappearance.

“It’s easier sometimes,” Peter answers without thinking. He winces when he sees the shadows on Tony’s face deepen.

“I’m here.”

The thing is, Peter is glad that Tony is still alive, but it is sometimes hard to navigate both worlds, to grieve the man he has come to see as a father figure only to go visit him on the weekends and see that he is fine.

Even while their relationship has grown much deeper since they killed Thanos, it has also become less simple. Being mentored by Mr. Stark and occasionally fighting crime with him had felt like the best thing that ever happened to Peter. There had still been a distance between them that neither of them tried to overcome. That distance is gone now.

The dinner table at the lake house always has a place prepared for him, he has his own bedroom there, Morgan calls him brother. Peter is getting another shot at a family that he is not sure he deserves.

Turning back to the headstone, Peter says, “You were dead, though. Several times.”

Peter was, too, for five long years. They do not talk about this, though, because Tony always gets very quiet at the mere mention of the Snap.

Footsteps sound and then Tony sits down next to him, reaching out to pluck some of the flowers out of the bouquets.

“It seems like I have to talk to Helen about doctor-patient-confidentiality,” he sounds amused, and if Peter had not seen how utterly happy Tony had been when he embraced his daughter after he first woke up, he might get angry about the nonchalance in Tony’s voice when he talks about his own death.

“She kinda just yelled it at us so we would stop bothering her with question,” Peter explains, not looking up at Tony.

He remembers the long days in the private hospital, where they used all the strange forces available to them to save Tony’s life. Sometimes, it feels like the exhaustion of that time has still not faded entirely. Then again, Peter had stumbled from one life-or-death battle into the next, not knowing that five years had passed.

“Don’t look like I was going to chop her head off for this,” Tony chides, humour in his tone. Growing more serious, he adds, “You don’t have to be ready to save everyone at all times.”

And yet that is what Tony has always done. Even presumed dead, he still spends a lot of time creating things to shape the future because he is not yet done with the world. Peter does not say any of that, however.

Instead, he shrugs, feeling more miserable by the minute. “Because I have such a good track record with that.”

The atmosphere shifts immediately, grows tense. Peter feels Tony’s sharp gaze on him. “What was that, kid? Peter?” Tony demands. The immediate concern in his tone just makes Peter feel worse. “Look at me.”

It takes Peter a minute, but he finally forces his head to turn and to meet Tony’s eyes. Then, Tony says the worst thing he could have.

“It is not your fault.”

Peter knows that. From an objective point of view, he realizes that he had nothing to do with Thanos coming for them or them not being strong enough. He definitely did not choose to die in the Snap. Afterwards, though, his ghost lingered and made Tony sacrifice himself. Peter was not the only reason but a major one. He has been piecing the clues together for these past months.  

“I couldn’t help you when it mattered,” Peter says, aiming for a casual tone and failing.

He is not quite sure whether he means on Titan, when they almost managed to pull the glove off Thanos’ hand, or later on Earth when he could not get the gauntlet off the battlefield, when he had to watch Tony wield the Stones and die because of it.

“But you did,” Tony says without a single trace of doubt. “You were here. You looked after my wife and daughter. You helped them even though you had just been through two very large battles and had your own family to go home to after spending five years in between lives.” Tony makes a short pause, swallows as he traces the inscription on his headstone. “You did more than I could ever thank you for.”

Biting down hard on the inside of his cheek, Peter just barely keeps from wincing. He does not need Tony’s gratitude. He just wants the thoughts in his head and the feelings in his chest to make sense. He wants to go back to living without imagining how much worse things could have been.

“There would’ve been no need for that if you –” Peter trails off miserably.

“What?” Tony asks sharply. “If I had not gone to fight Thanos? If I had not taken our one chance at reversing the Snap at bringing everyone back? At bringing you back?”

There it is. It is not anger turning Tony’s voice sharp but grief. Those last bits of it that will likely linger forever inside them. Grief for Peter.

“Listen, Peter,” Tony continues urgently and reaches out to put a hand on Peter’s arm as to convince them that they are both real, both here, together. “Doing nothing was never an option at all. If I had to do it again, without a chance of another miraculous survival, I would do it without hesitation.”

That is the worst thing, Peter thinks. He knows Tony would do that. At the same time, he fears he would not be strong enough to save Tony. Again.

“What about your family?” Peter asks quietly.

What he means is more complicated than that. They have signed up to protect others, but Peter knows both sides of this now. He knows about leaving and being left. He wonders whether there is a line they will not cross, a safe place they can keep for himself – even knowing he is selfish.

“You are family,” Tony answers without hesitation.

It is not the answer Peter was looking for, but it has warmth spreading through his chest nevertheless.

“I’m sorry, anyway,” he says quietly.

With a laugh, Tony takes his hand off Peter’s arm and goes back to taking apart flowers. It is the surest sign he is nervous too. “I’d be surprised if you had seen reason after just one conversation.”

To Peter, it has not been the first one. Normally, Tony’s headstone does not answer, though. He is not yet sure whether he does not prefer that. It is stupid to wallow in his guilt, but he cannot just let go of it either.

When Peter merely shrugs, Tony adds, “I know this will take time, but we’ve got that now. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. For dragging you into this mess. For not taking enough care. For letting you be taken.”

Upset, Peter glares at Tony. “None of that was your fault.”

He notices the trap he has fallen into far too late, but keeps his expression determined.

“Hypocrisy is not a virtue, kid,” Tony says, his voice lighter again. “We’ll keep working on that.”

Time, Peter thinks, is a strange thing, just like hope. Without warning, they can lose or win it, just toys in fate’s perpetual storm.

Humming noncommittally, Peter fights the urge to reach for some flowers of his own.

“Now, how about dinner?” Tony offers, a question ringing beneath the words that is about more than food. “I could need some help tinkering with the arm. It’s lagging.”

Peter doubts that very much. Nothing Tony builds does not work the way he intends it to. The prosthesis he built to replace the arm the Stones took from him, is a masterpiece. Much more sophisticated than Barnes’. Peter loves it, even though it is a constant reminder of what happened.

There is always room for improvement, but Tony would not walk around with an arm that defies its purpose. As far as distractions go, Peter is glad for that one, though. Working in the lab together is the one thing that has not changed. They have always been more familiar in the workshop than anywhere else.

With a last glance at the headstone, Peter gets to his feet. Slowly, he is coming to realize that he is not going to get the answers he needs here. Questions about life are better off answered by the living.

He offers a hand to Tony and says, “I’m ready.”

With a smile, Tony lets himself be pulled up, then puts his arm around Peter’s shoulder as they walk towards the car.

“Then let’s go home.”

[memelovescaps]

Avengers Endgame: Review

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS:

Okay, now that I have a bit of peace and quiet, I want to talk about Avengers Endgame. I won’t comment on the whole thing or whether the movie works or not, only the stuff that caught my attention. There were many things I liked, and some others I didn’t, so let’s go bit by bit.

The first thing I want to talk about is the thing that destroyed me, and that’s Tony Stark.

Tony has been my favourite Avenger since I saw Iron Man in 2009 or 2010, and throughout the years he and Thor are probably the two Avengers that have more character development (I’ll go into Thor later). We see him grow from an egotistical, over confident man to someone who cares deeply about and is haunted by his mistakes and demons; someone who puts up a façade of over-confidence but who has night terrors, terrors which in Infinity War become real. We see him with PTSD and anxiety attacks in Iron Man 3, we see him so frightened of future threats he tried to build Ultron in the Age of Ultron, we see his love for Pepper grow from Iron Man 1 until Endgame; and we see how scared he is of losing everything he’s built with her.

What’s more, I think one of the core topics in Tony Stark’s life is fatherhood. On the one hand, we see him taking Peter under his wing, mentoring him, and when Infinity War comes we notice how close they have become that they fight together side by side, it looks like they’ve done it several times. When the snap happens Tony is absolutely devastated, and when he finally comes to Earth rescued by Danvers, the way his voice breaks when he tells Steve “I lost the kid” is heartbreaking.

On the other hand, at the beginning of Infinity War he tells Pepper that he dreamt about having a kid, and five years afterwards we see he’s a father of a little girl. And we see how he indeed has broken the cycle of shame, he’s nothing like Howard and the dynamics between Morgan and her dad are wonderful. He never once gets angry, never screams at her even when she’s awake late at night when she shouldn’t, he’s constantly hugging and touching her in a super adoring way and their conversations are pure fluff (“I love you 3000, that was sooo fluff!). Still, he hasn’t forgotten Peter (the moment he takes the frame of the picture of him and Peter…) and I believe that the main reason he never once stopped looking for a way to make them come back was Peter, because he feels tremendous guilt for having lost him. They all lost, everyone lost family and friends (Clint going crazy over losing his family is just an example) and in fact, Tony is one of the lucky ones, he has Pepper and Morgan. But he doesn’t have Peter, and that is breaking him.

Also, the way his sacrifice is done is utterly powerful. His trademark line, “I am Iron Man” is uttered with a lot of power and it’s a huge emotionally charged moment because it takes us back to the first Iron Man movie in 2008. I think in that moment everyone in the cinema was clapping and shouting. So, what were the things I didn’t like? Precisely the fact that Tony had to be the one to sacrifice himself. I understand why it had to happen, it had to be an Avenger that would shock everyone and create a reaction, it didn’t matter if you liked him or not. And for Iron Man to die, that was the ultimate sacrifice. Someone who previously only cared about himself, now is saying goodbye to a future, to a family, to finally rest; so that everyone else can survive. Pepper tells him that he finally can rest now, and in part it’s true, we know that Tony would’ve never stopped trying to save the world if he had any say in it. However, I didn’t like his sacrifice because for the last two or three movies Tony’s arc has pointed at retirement with Pepper. Buy a farm (they end up living in a house by the lake, surrounded by nature, so it’s kind of what he wanted), create a family, settle down… that was what was waiting for him after Endgame. And he leaves behind a wife, a daughter, and his sort of adopted kid Peter (who by the way had to suffer the death of FOUR father figures. It’s a miracle Peter doesn’t go rogue or loses his mind after losing Tony). So, my conclusion is: yes, I understand that for it to be effective for the audience it had to be Tony, but I also hate it because he was the one who left more people behind by dying. Thor didn’t have anyone left, Bruce doesn’t either, so it’s so unfair that the one who had to sacrifice himself was the one who left more broken hearts by saving the world. It’s heroic, but wrenchingly heroic.  

Another minor aspect within the plot but that I hated was the little time Peter and Tony had before Tony died. When Peter comes back and he helps Tony up, the way Tony was looking at Peter while he talked, like he was seeing the beauty of the universe for the first time, was mesmerizing and the hug was very emotional (remember that it’s Tony who embraces Peter, that shows the amount of love Tony has for the kid). However, that was all they had, when Peter and Tony are together again Tony is dying. And it’s even more heartbreaking.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

As for the rest of the Avengers, I have a few things to say. The first one that really pissed me off because the whole cinema was laughing at it was Thor’s arc in Endgame. He obviously has PTSD, he has severe trauma and deals with it by eating and drinking. It’s a very normal disorder and something very serious, not something to laugh at. Thor has lost absolutely everything, he’s lost his family, his friends, his home, his kingdom… he has nothing, except for the friends he makes in Thor Ragnarok. So, when he’s at his most vulnerable, do you think it’s normal to use him as the humorous part of the movie? I don’t think so. And it pissed me off because people were laughing and I was like “seriously? This guy has severe trauma and you’re laughing at his face?” it was so disrespectful for people who suffer these issues. It’s even more disrespectful when Tony Stark suffered the same thing but they didn’t use that as an excuse to make people laugh, the way they treat PTSD and anxiety attacks in Iron Man 3 is very understanding and kind; and I think Thor deserved something of that.

As for Steve’s ending… I’m a bit hesitant. I understand why Steve wanted to go back in time, he has always loved Peggy and never once has he forgotten her. However, war changes a person. Steve has gone through several wars, he has lived several years in the present, he’s made friends… true, he’s never fallen in love again, but has he even given the opportunity to himself? I don’t think the story with Peggy would’ve worked; Steve has changed too much for that to work, he’s not the Steve Peggy knew. So, I understand why he wanted it, but I don’t think it makes much sense.

 Great moments of the movie:

-          ABSOLUTELY ALL THE MOMENTS BETWEEN MORGAN AND TONY, they are so cute together and it really shows Tony’s change. He’s terrified of losing what he’s built and it’s obvious he’d do anything to protect Morgan. Even dying.

-         TONY LOOKING AT PETER LIKE HE’S THE CENTER OF HIS UNIVERSE AND THEN SHUTTING HIM UP BY HUGGING HIM THAT WAS TOO CUTE FOR AN IRONDAD FAN IT MELTED ME

-          I love you 3000. Tony’s face of pure love and adoration.

-          Captain America’s ass. Awesome cheeky moment!

-          Steve with the Mjolnir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-          Pepper Stark-Potts using one of Tony’s armours. AMAZING!

-          The great moment when Danvers has to go through the hoards of Chitauri and all the women in the MCU, from Pepper to Valkyrie, defend her while she takes the gauntlet.

-          The beginning of the final battle, everyone returning from the snap and Steve shouting: AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE! God, that gave me goosebumps.

-          Tony’s last moments with Pepper. The way Pepper understands; how she talks to him to calm him and he tells him he can finally rest. It’s so heartbreaking because Pepper knows it was the only way Tony would finally be able to find the peace he so desired. But it’s at a great cost he finds that peace.

-          TONY’S FUNERAL. I literally was crying the whole time.

                         +AND HARLEY WAS AT THE FUNERAL TOO

                         + Morgan asking for a cheeseburger, same as his dad. And Happy’s sad smile, saying that he’d buy her all the burgers she wanted.

                          + Everyone paying his respects to Tony, from his family to the Avengers and their families, to Maria Hill, Danvers and Fury. The whole MCU was there, because he was the first, the one who created everything and the ultimate hero, the one who made everything possible. The whole funeral was huge but the scene where they show absolutely everyone dressed in black and saying goodbye; that was powerfully sad.

And I think that’s all. There were a few problems with the movie but overall I loved the movie, it got straight to my heart and I didn’t expect any less from the last movie. I can’t wait to watch it again!

[saltpepperbeard]

☕️ galey bird

THEM’S FIGHTING WORDS, ANON LOL. THAT NAME ALONE IS ENOUGHTO INDUCE RAGE. I honestly can’t even watch THG anymore without snapping somekind of something/shouting profanity at him whenever he comes on screen lol. SOYES, LET’S DISCUSS THIS LOVELY INDIVIDUAL SHALL WE. I’m about to go on a HELLof a tangent, because I of course have OPINIONS™. Some of which actually aren’t that bad actually lmao BUT I DIGRESS; HE ALWAYS MAKES ME EXTRA AF-

*Lowers the Extra Meter* Okay. In all honesty, I canappreciate Gale as a character. He’s written well, and he’s rather complex. Heis very hardheaded and sticks to his goals, so much so that he isn’t afraid tothrow other people completely out of the way. Very very strong-willed, veryvery loyal, and very very fiery. Definitely makes for an interesting character.

…HOWEVER LOL, my appreciation for him is very quickly tarnisheddue to how he treats Katniss throughout the series. And how he acts in responseto her actions/motivations.

I will say, their relationship was acceptable in THG. Heactually was tolerable during this book, as I appreciated their friendship/howthey’d been hunting together for the majority of their lives. And how they’dbeen helping their families along after the mining accident. Even BEFORE Istarted shipping Everlark however, and even BEFORE I knew Everlark was endgame,I didn’t hop on any kind of romantic Katniss x Gale train. I viewed them onlyas hunting partners, and as friends.

Soooooo when mr. gALEY BIRD started showing feelings forKatniss, and when he made things worse by being an ASS about it lol, my likingfor him began to drop.

It’s very clear fromthe beginning of CF that Katniss wasn’t wild about romantic involvement withGale. She talks a lot about their families managing during the food shortagesand what not, but then she also goes on to say “I’m sure plenty of peopleassumed that we’d eventually get married even if I never gave it any thought.”And then she mentions Peeta and how she’s unsure of how exactly she feelstowards him. But like, STRAIGHT UP WAS LIKE “i never thought to marry galelmao.”

And THEN, he randomly kisses her right. And instead of beinglike “oooh that’s nice :),” she literally sits by the fence and has to decidewhether she liked it or resented it. And thought about Peeta. And just wenthome lmao. And decided to prepare a speech about “never wanting a boyfriend andnever planned on marrying.” LIKE…SHE WAS PRETTY CLEAR.

But he continues to lay it on thick in CF, and goes fromlike 0 to 100 flirt wise whenever he can. I think because he gets majorlyjealous of Peeta, and tries to win her affections back from him. But like…Hedoesn’t seem to respect her feelings towards Peeta at all. She’s MAJORLYconfused/conflicted in early CF, because Gale’s coming at her and she’s like“tf this is my best friend i Don’t Want This but i’m Hurting Him” and thenshe’s like “everything i did with peeta was for the games…bUT WAS IT REALLYTHOUGH???” So she’s just in this STORM and he doesn’t really do anything toalleviate that.

AND OKAY, TO BE FAIR LOL, both boys were actually erring onthe problematic/entitled side in early CF. Peeta was all pissy because he“didn’t want to forget” and consequently went cold on Katniss for a bit, andthen Gale’s advances are only met with Katniss going :/. SHOUTOUT TO THE “ILOVE YOU/I KNOW” LMAO.

BUT, difference between Gale and Peeta, Peeta apologizes forhis actions. He has a conversation with her about it, and decides to start overas friends, which she appreciates. Because she mentions something about wantinga regular, uncomplicated friendship with Gale again, but he doesn’t even giveher that option. He just keeps pushing and getting more possessive, especiallyas she gets closer with Peeta.

And of course my favorite example of the disconnect with howGale/Peeta treat her is the lovely “running away” example lmao. When she asksGale, he picks her up and is all for it, but sours up the second she mentionsPeeta/refuses his advances. Peeta on the other hand, agrees, asks if Gale iscoming, and is completely fine with everything. While Peeta did admit to beingjealous of Gale, he doesn’t…ACT LIKE AN ASS ABOUT IT LOL. He’s willing totolerate him if it means Katniss is happy. Matter of fact, to quote from thefreaking BEACH KISS-

“Peeta’s intention is clear. That Gale really is my family,or will be one day, if I live. That I’ll marry him. So Peeta’s giving me hislife and Gale at the same time. To let me know I shouldn’t ever have doubtsabout it.”

LIKE??? HOLY SHIT LOL. GALE WOULD NEVER, MY DUDE. “You canmarry Peeta it’s okay Katnip I know you love him” LIKE LOL NOPE FALSE FAKE NEWS.

He even went out of his way to help Gale after he gotwhipped too. He took him back to the house, watched over him for Katniss, andwhile he was probably feeling jealous, did NOT complain about it. Just makes methink of Gale not giving a shit about Peeta suffering in the Capitol lmao.

…HEY SPEAKING OF MOCKINGJAY LOL, I GET PARTICULARLYJKJSLDKSDS. Mockingjay is weird actually, because unlike THG/CF, there’s a characterization rift between the books and the movies, at least in the first half. During the first part of the book, it seems like the thing that predominantly drives a wedge between him and Katniss is his commitment to war/fighting/killing. He starts really getting into it, wanting to appease Coin, making deadly traps, etc. And a lot of anger erupts between him and Katniss consequently.

Because, she of course can’t kill senselessly, and death is extremely personal to her. But to him, it’s not; he can easily GRA-TA-TA without much thought, as long as it means he comes out on top. And throughout Mockingjay, it seems Katniss can tolerate that mindset less and less. Which of course leads to her saying “I don’t need Gale’s fire. I have plenty of fire myself.” He starts thinking like the people she’s been trying to fight, so he later turns into the enemy himself. 

SCREWS HIMSELF RIGHT OVER, HE DOES.

And like…I can actually appreciate having him fight so selflessly? Like, a lot of D12 citizens definitely would have died without him jumping into action. He definitely doesn’t hesitate to fight for what he believes in, and that’s admirable. But he just…starts going about it the wrong way in Mockingjay, especially towards the end. And that’s just…can’t hAVE THAT, MY GUY.

Buutttttt then we have movie!Gale lmao. And I think Gale in both of the Mockingjay movies is predominantly where most of my salt comes from. Which. yeah yeah I know, naysayers; it’s technically not fair because that’s simply an adaptation of his character. BUT IT’S STILL HIM IN THE END LMAO SO I JUST.

On top of his war commitment, there’s also major possessiveness/jealousy still going on, which makes him all the more difficult to bare lol. Like in the movies, he doesn’t care about the fact that Peeta’s suffering at ALL. He glares at Katniss when she watches propos, he refuses to support Peeta whatsoever, he makes all sorts of backhand comments…And then oddly enough is the first to volunteer for Peeta’s rescue lmao. THAT doesn’t make sense. His characterization doesn’t know what it wants to do in those movies. (And then like also he wants to kill those in the Capitol without much thought but then says it’s not fair to hunt the buck in D13 like????) Other than iNDUCE ANGER.

In the books, he at least backed off his advancements towards Katniss, which she said she appreciated because she felt like they could just be friends again. Though, I’m not sure if it was entirely genuine/coming from the right place? Katniss mentioned something about Peeta being out of the picture and the fake-marriage thing not hanging over Gale’s head, which in turn made him a Normal Freaking Person again. Which…KIND of makes me narrow my eyes, because like…he should have just acted normal around her like that REGARDLESS of what was going on, REGARDLESS if Peeta was there or not.

“WHAT WOULD PEETA MELLARK DO.”

And it’s so unfortunate because she legitimately appreciated his company/their friendship. Idk why he had to get so bent out of shape about trying to get her to love him back, and getting pissy when she started to fall for someone else instead. Like, I’m sure if he had just held his tongue, it would’ve made things way easier on their friendship.

It also makes a little more sense that he volunteered to save Peeta in the books, because he AT LEAST wasn’t pissed off towards him 24/7 like he was in the movies lol. I imagine his jealousy was still there, but he was probably doing it to make Katniss happy. He was probably trying to score some points with her lmao.

Jodi? Not trusting Gale at all? IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK.

And then I feel like the characterization matches back up for the second half of Mockingjay/MJ2. He starts getting all possessive again with Peeta back in the picture, and his attitude towards fighting gets completely amplified when they’re in an actual warzone. Annndd so therefore I start getting mad at him all over again lmao.

It actually makes me my angriest whenever he complains about Katniss kissing him and it not feeling genuine, whenever he lowkey highkey manipulates her into trying to fight by saying “I don’t think Snow used any rulebooks when he hijacked Peeta,” and when he says he’ll kILL PEETA WHENEVER THE CHANCE ARISES LIKE??? YO. IT MAKES ME SO READY TO FIGHT HIM LOL.

SO. TL;MAJORLYdr, I’m okay with him in both the movie and book of THG, NOT okay with him in the movie and book of CF, OKAY with him in the early part of the book in MJ, but NOT okay with him in the later half or the two MJ movies.

It’s like…Essentially, I appreciate his friendship with Katniss. I like when they cooperate, and when their fiery attitudes kind of match each other. But he tarnishes that whenever something else comes into the picture, be it war or Peeta. He kind of turns their friendship on its head for the sake of wanting to fight a certain way, or by trying to get Katniss into loving him when all she wants is a friendship.

And it’s sO…Like I almost feel bad for them, more so for Katniss though lmao. Like if he had just been more patient with her, and more understanding of what she wanted, then maybe things would have turned out better between them. Like, MAYBE they could have still been friends after the rebellion, and wouldn’t have to throw away years of friendship.

Buutttt he didn’t, chose instead to be problematic on multiple accounts, and so I’m definitely clinging to Peeta lmao, tHE GENTLE AND UNDERSTANDING ONE.

[blue-dream-rhapsody]

On Kugo Ginjo, Part 3/?: The Actions of Actors

[First] [Previous] [Next]

Tsukishima calls Ginjo a bad actor one time, and the result is this ridiculously long analysis.

[Long and photo-heavy-ish post ahead!]

When Kugo’s past is confirmed as the only one that was changed during the bulk of The Lost Agent, it is also confirmed that the rest of Xcution is fully cognizant of the situation they’re in the entire time. They remember the endgame that Kugo doesn’t, and even while they’re getting to know Ichigo and becoming somewhat fonder of him they’re still working in service of it. Riruka is the only one to visibly show doubt, but even she nonetheless sticks with the plan.

So that raises the question of why. We get Kugo’s motive well enough, but why are the others willing to go along with this? What is it that they’re going to gain from emotionally destroying a perfectly kind and understanding kid who yeah, maybe at one point was a symbol of everything Kugo hated, but right now is just trying to live his life? Why do this to someone who could very easily be one of their own, and who some of them even grow to like along the way?

For Giriko, the answer is pretty unremarkable.

He wanted power, and he was going to get it by manipulating Ichigo. He’s the one to first insist on Kugo’s promise to share with them, and is the most vocal about enjoying it once he has it. Even in his fight with Kenpachi his only obsession is with being the stronger man. For someone who supposedly finds his ability “perilous” he’s awfully reckless about amplifying it. Arrogance seems to be a serial problem for him, and it’s really about time when he ends up dead.

Yukio is somewhat the same, seeking the power to assert himself as well, due to his rather fragile (and immature) ego. Ichigo is merely the means to that end for a boy who has demonstrated more than a little trouble with empathy; Yukio is spoiled, and used to taking what he wants. However, at the end of everything, he does reveal a less self-centered side of himself which suggests he feels some loyalty to the other Fullbringers.

Shishigawara is worth a mention before I go any further.

His motivation is as simplistic as it gets—he’s fighting for what Tsukishima is fighting for. He’s pretty much separate from everybody else; there’s no evidence that he knows the rest of Xcution, and even Kugo seems to have no knowledge of him when they fight in the mansion, so it’s likely he was kept completely out of the loop on the greater plan apart from what his boss deigned to tell him. Additionally, he has no designs on Ichigo’s power, and seems unaware anyone else was getting any of it. He doesn’t have any contradicting personal familiarity with Ichigo like the others, either; he’s a punk kid fighting just another perfect stranger, per Tsukishima’s orders.

And then there’s Jackie.

She’s, to me, where things start to get complex. Because as Yukio says, Jackie hates her powers. She runs with the others to catch up to Kugo, but the entire time Giriko is waxing obnoxious about sharing, and then once she’s made stronger, she’s completely quiet. Somber. She doesn’t protest like Riruka, but it’s pretty obvious from her expressions that this isn’t especially what she wanted.

Yet, in a way, it is. She hates her Fullbring because it was useless to save her family. That association is never going to go away. But if she gets ahold of Ichigo’s power, this time it may be enough to protect Xcution. Jackie is the one at the end to propose the remaining three stick together. She’s the one who stopped to bury Giriko’s body when she came across it. Xcution makes up the people who are important to her, and even if she hates the thing that makes her one of them, she’s happy that she is one of them. She didn’t quite manage the same aloofness toward Ichigo that Yukio and Giriko did (she fought him one on one, after all), but loyalty most definitely compelled her to put any warmth she felt toward him on ice in the end.

And there may be something else she hints at, too, in this little moment she has with Renji.

This can be read one of two ways. In one, where Jackie means this literally, she’s simply wishing someone had come into her life sooner and saved her from her own cynicism.

The second way, however, it isn’t that Jackie hasn’t been saved. It’s just that, rather than it being by somebody like Renji, it was somebody like Kugo. Someone who she cares about, sure, and someone she understands. But in understanding him, it’s very easy to imagine she also sees his flaws, from his violent obsession with vengeance to his manipulative callousness. She says herself, at the end, that she realized the only thing that had ever tied the members of Xcution together was their shared experience as Fullbringers. They weren’t brought together out of a promise of a home, or a place to belong—Kugo recruited them all under him with a promise to give them the power the regular world has denied them.

And she mourns that. She wants things to be different, has been hoping for a thread of genuine connection with these others like her, and it’s why she asks Yukio if they can stick together a little longer, and why she’s moved when he replies the way he does. She knows what Kugo built wasn’t a place for warm fuzzies, but it’s all she has. It’s the only thing he could give her and the others, because of the way he is. But somebody like Renji? Someone who could show concern for not only a stranger, but an enemy; someone who doesn’t just surrender to a situation he can’t change; someone who won’t let go of his principles for anything? If she’d been saved by somebody like that instead, then she may have been in a completely different place. But here she is, and she’s not sorry she fought for it.

This brings me to Riruka, and the recurring theme that cropped up several times through this whole arc.

At first pass, her aim may seem to be inline with everyone else’s. She’s a part of Xcution, so she’s doing what they’ve all been directed to do. She’s isolated by her powers, but also identifies with them and takes some pride in the way they make her different. But where Yukio and Giriko have no qualms about their actions, and Jackie seems to have suppressed any misgivings she might’ve had, Riruka shows again and again that it’s weighing on her considerably. She’s forthright about not wanting Ichigo’s power. She tries to shut out Orihime’s attempts at friendship because she knows what’s coming. Her conscience is eating at her, and yet she still goes along with the plan.

She doesn’t want Ichigo’s power for herself, so why is she still ignoring her guilt and helping things along? What’s enough to make that worth it for her?

She tells us, twice.

First, to Rukia:

And then again, to Tsukishima:

You know, this is the one arc where one of Ichigo’s friends hasn’t been taken by an enemy. Ichigo, for once, doesn’t have to break into the Soul Society, or Hueco Mundo, or the Wandenreich to get anybody back. Yet somehow, over the course of the six volumes making up The Lost Agent, the concept of “saving” someone comes up six times (and that’s ignoring Yukio’s saving ability). Urahara saved everybody from Aizen. Ichigo saved Orihime from her pain. Ichigo saved the Soul Society.

Jackie wishes somebody like Renji had saved her. Kugo saved the Fullbringers from their isolation.

Ichigo saved Kugo.

I think we might be hitting on a common thread here.

And if you look at the scene where that last one is said:

“…Ichigo.”

Ding, ding, ding.

Everybody in Xcution knew the full scope of the plan from Day One. They all knew what Ichigo was, and they all knew what Kugo was. They knew why it was Ichigo he was going after, and each had their own reasons for their complicity. For Giriko and Yukio, this was a chance to make themselves more powerful. For Jackie, it was a means to gain the strength to protect her new family. For Shishigawara, it was what he was told to do. But what this moment suggests is that, in Riruka’s case, what she wanted wasn’t something for herself.

She says here, “We couldn’t save Ginjo.” And it’s all but a confession, isn’t it? To say you couldn’t, you have to have tried. You have to have wanted to. So was what Riruka wanted from all of this, to save Kugo?

She felt more guilt than anyone that they were lying to Ichigo. But for Kugo, the betrayed Deputy, he’s nothing less than the successor who got to be the hero. He’s a symbol of every injustice Kugo’s endured, and a reminder of everything he could’ve been if he’d just been given the chance. And there’s no doubt that, at the very least in the beginning, destroying Ichigo could sound like the closure he needed. If that was what it was going to take to grant some peace to the man who she feels saved her, and that felt like a big enough debt, then perhaps that was enough to overpower any of her doubts.

And, do you know what else is significant about this moment? Tsukishima listens, and stops.

He doesn’t care about Ichigo. He hasn’t had the same experience as everyone else (Kugo included), getting to know him over the past few days and seeing him for the person he is beyond being their target. And that’s assuming he would’ve had the capacity to feel anything genuine for him in the first place. He doesn’t let Ichigo go because Riruka has tapped some inner sense of morality Tsukishima has, or even because her defending him has somehow moved him. He stops because what she said is the truth, and it’s a truth he knows.

Because he wanted the same thing she did—to save Kugo. And in this brief moment of clarity, he sees Ichigo’s actions, Kugo’s death, as the salvation they’d failed to give him—salvation he, too, feels a strong desire to repay.

Remember how, when Riruka says all of this above, his mind goes to the day he and Kugo met?

He never calls it by that name, and from an outside perspective looking at the way he turned out, it may not seem like a positive thing. But he’s the same as the other Fullbringers.

He tried, too. He went along with the plan Kugo had decided on, because he too knew about Kugo’s Deputy past and certainly thought the same thing Riruka did—that it would be what he needed. Although…

…this isn’t the answer of someone who’s thrilled with the idea. Tsukishima’s emotional capacity doesn’t often expand beyond sadistic pleasure (his breakdown notwithstanding, obviously), and he has absolutely no problems backtalking to or outright refusing orders from Kugo. Yet here, he actually seems to be biting his tongue. Is it about the plan itself, how he knows it’s going to make Kugo hate him from the bottom of his heart? Or is it about the little ways Kugo has sabotaged his own odds, and the possible consequences? With him being the way he is, it’s difficult to say, but one thing stands true—he, himself, isn’t looking to gain anything from this.

When Kugo grants the other members of Xcution part of Ichigo’s stolen power, Tsukishima makes the case for giving some to Shishigawara, too. But notably, he never mentions getting any for himself; Kugo’s never shown giving any to him, not even along with the others; neither ever even brings it up, as if it wasn’t ever a question between them (and Book of the End is terrifying as it is, so this is probably for the best). There’s no motive of ambition for Tsukishima, beyond at most getting to have a little fun with his existing ability at Ichigo’s expense.

He plays his part in this entirely for Kugo’s sake.

Riruka knows what kind of person Tsukishima is better than the audience does. If talking him out of his vengeance was pointless, she wouldn’t have bothered trying to reason with him, especially not in the irrational state he was in. But she said what she did because she knew he would get it. And he does. He lets Ichigo be, and grieves the man he’s lost.

[I’m haunted even more by the dub’s treatment of her lines in that exchange; she says, “Face the facts. We couldn’t have stopped this.” It really feels like the inevitability or the necessity of Kugo’s death was a truth Riruka had come to accept along the way.]

[trumpetnista]

CMW2/Trumpetnista: True North

Summary from FFN: CANON COMPLIANT AU WITH HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE END OF SEASON 4 AND THE FIRST EPS OF 5; After the events of 'Not You, Too', Bruce is ecstatic that Selina is alive but he is about to truly lose it. Being the True North of his life, Selina enlists the one person who loves him more than her to help him escape Gotham's ruins.;Rated for words & imagery;4th in my 2019 SSS Project

Words from the Hooded GOTHAMITE: Your eyes are not deceiving you, folks. It's a double header! I'm really gonna knuckle down and update/finish at least one of my established stories in another fandom after this one, I promise but again, what the Muses want, they get. If I don't cooperate with them, they go away for ages. They really want Bruce and Selina right now. It is what it is.

Selina and Alfred's bond is one of my favorite on the show. I've always loved a good 'started from the bottom, now we're here' plotline and I'm glad that they've united. Other than Jim, they're all Bruce has so it's best that they get along. They've gone from enemies to frenemies to family and I really, really hope that the BatFamily can become some kind of an official thing in GOTHAM's endgame. If not, that's what fanfic is for.

Again, I just want everyone to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

Anyway, here's the follow up to 'Not You, Too' and after I do the aforementioned updating/finishing in my other fandoms, I will get started on my next big Baby BatCat fics. There is a need and I will fulfill it!

Disclaimer: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”

"I once said that the only reason he wanted to be with me was because I was literally the only girl he knew. That myth is just busted all to pieces now, ain't it?"

"Completely. You're the love of his life."

"He's a masochist. And I'm an idiot because I love him back. One of those Tangs for me?"

"Yes."

"Any vodka in it?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Don't worry. I'll swipe some Goose from Barbara later. I gotta go see Tabby. Pay my respects."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Selina."

"Are you?"

"You cared for her."

"She tried to kill Bruce. Like really, really tried."

"Everyone has."

Laughing still hurt like hell but Selina Kyle couldn't help but do so. It wasn't like Alfred Pennyworth was wrong. Every maniac worth their salt in Gotham took a crack at Bruce Wayne at least once before their temper tantrum was done. That was what he got for being an overly noble piece of shit like Jim Gordon. Not to say that Gordon wasn't a good man (not that she'd ever tell him so to his face) but to model one's life choices after him really wasn't the best idea. It led to so much trouble.

Hopping down from the roof's ledge aggravated her injuries but Selina welcomed the pain. She welcomed the fact that she could climb and jump again. Even when she had nothing, even when she was all alone, she had been able to move. She had been able to run, jump and be free. Jeremiah Valeska had taken that away from her. He had shot her, nearly ruined her, but fate in the form of Bruce had intervened. He had gone out and found a Cure for her. He had risked becoming a living garden from Ivy Pepper Version 3′s venom for her. He had saved her and in turn, she would do her best to save him.

Eventually, she wouldn't be able to. It went back to him being an overly noble piece of shit but damn it, she would try. Bruce didn't get to die on her, not for a long time.

"How are you feeling?"

"I look the way I feel, Lurch."

"So, like a walking piece of roadkill?"

"Fuck off."

And it was very clear that Selina could not die on him. It wasn't an option. Jeremiah Valeska and his crazy girlfriend bitch had tried to kill her. They had damned near blown her up but she had made it out. She had managed to get out of her restraints and had been in the process of climbing out of a window when the explosives went off. That had sent her flying and while there was a bit of a blank, she remembered the feeling of weightlessness, the impact with the truck, and more importantly, the feeling of needing to get home.

Home was Bruce. Whether they were in Wayne Manor, The Haven, or anywhere, Bruce was home. She needed to get her ass up, pull herself together enough to function, and get home. If Valeska went after her, it stood to reason that he was going to go the whole nine yards. Her, Gordon, Alfred, anyone positive in Bruce's life had a bulls-eye on them again. Valeska wanted to break him. He wanted to convert him to his special brand of madness and the circus freak probably wanted his body, too. Bruce was damned fine to look at, like one of those angels in museum paintings. He had been adorable before but puberty had been very good to him.

However, the only person who would be touching the art was her.

Even if Jeremiah wasn't crazier than the cow that jumped over the moon and blew it up, the age difference was not good. Jeremiah was in his mid-twenties. Bruce may be 40 years old in the head but he had just turned 18. Jeremiah's Evil Twin Jerome, may he forever rot and burn in Hell, had ruined his birthday party when he took over that concert with exploding neck bombs.

The cake had been damned good, though. God, Selina missed cake so much. It was still possible to find the ingredients or a done one but it was more trouble than it was worth. The energy would be put to better use finding medicine or ammo.

Anyway, it had taken some time but she had gotten to the Twelfth Precinct, only to find a broken Bruce Wayne. He had thought she had been murdered. Jeremiah had said she was dead and instead of breaking in the way the freak longed for, Bruce had beaten him to death with a chair.

Jeremiah Valeska was very much dead.

Selina had demanded to see the body, just to make sure he was gone, and it had been a mess. Absolutely justified but a mess, all the same. Jeremiah's girlfriend had been catatonic but when three unfortunate saps tried to transport her to Arkham, she had murdered them and ran. Word was that she The Dark Zone's leader now and she would 'continue her beloved's legacy' or some other nonsense like that. As long as the demented bitch left Bruce the hell alone, Selina didn't care.

She would never forget the way he looked when Bruce came out of Gordon's office.

He looked as if his whole world had been destroyed but reborn in front of his eyes. The wild look in his eyes, the way he was shaking? It was the warehouse with Scarecrow's Terror Gas all over again, only a thousand times worse. All Selina could do was touch him, tell him to breathe, tell him to look at her but he hadn't got it. It had taken seconds for him to get it but it had felt like hours. Seeing him like that? God, if the motherfucker wasn't already dead, Selina would've gone after him. He already had a target on him for the bullet to her spine but hurting Bruce, breaking Bruce...

The hug he had given her had been so painful but she didn't dare pull away, not until she was sure that he was back. The anguish and relief in his voice as he cried in her arms, even as he responded to her would haunt her forever.

It also put a very heavy responsibility on her.

She had to stay alive.

She had to keep her remaining 7 lives close to her because if she didn't?

"...Selina? Are you up here?"

"Hey, B. You want some Tang? There's no vodka in it but it's still pretty good."

"No, thank you. I...I woke up and you were gone."

"Sorry. I needed some air and you needed the sleep. I didn't mean to scare you. C'mere."

Bruce came to her and hugged her, hiding his face in her shoulder. It had been 2 days since her supposed demise and Selina knew that he would cling for quite a while. Afterwards, he would be even more protective of her and she had to get ready to deal with it. Not just from Bruce but from everyone. Even though Valeska was gone, eliminating one of Gotham's biggest problems, she and everyone else was far from safe. The government was still doing its best to avoid helping them, meaning that the city would continue to fall apart. Eventually, even the good people would start turning on each other for the sake of survival and then, where would they be?

"You two weren't fighting, were you?"

"Nah. Truce is still on."

"Good."

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask if you were. You need to eat. I found a bunch of MREs and water. There's enough."

"Selina..."

"Look, I get it. You thought I was dead, went full on WrestleMania on Valeska, found out I wasn't dead, and had the panic attack to end all of them. You're stressed out. You're feeling guilty for caving that asshole's head in, which you really shouldn't, by the way, you're still sad because the city's fucked but let me tell you something: I'm still here. We're getting by as best we can until we can get outside help. Valeska had it coming to him and all not taking care of yourself is gonna do is make Alfred worry about you and piss me off. Do you wanna do that?"

"...no."

"You need to eat. And you need to sleep some more. I'll come down in a few minutes. I gotta bandage and ice my ribs, anyways. Eat. Talk to Gordon and get some damned sunlight, will you? You look even more like a vampire than usual."

Bruce let out a noise that was between a scoff and a laugh before looking between them.

"Anything to add, Alfred?"

"No, I think she covered things nicely."

"I don't know if I like this. You two ganging up on me..."

"Somebody has take the L. It might as well be us. Are you still here?"

"I'm going, I'm going..."

"Wait."

Stepping forward, Selina pulled him down into a tender kiss and pecked his forehead.

"Now, scram. Grab me some chili mac and a vanilla pudding."

Bruce looked at her fixedly, nodded, and headed for the staircase. He hesitated in the doorway and when he turned around, Selina gave him a tired but genuine smile. Relief visibly filled him at the sight and he was gone. Shaking her head, she let out a noise that was half sigh and half sob.

"For fuck's sake...Alfred, we've got to get him outta here. Enough is enough. I don't...he has been on the edge of the worst nervous breakdown ever since it all went down with his parents and now this shit, on top of all the other shit? We gotta get him the hell out of here, government bullshit be damned!"

"Agreed. How?"

"I dunno. I was hoping that you had an idea. All that gray hair. There ought to be some wisdom underneath it..."

"This gray hair used to be blonde."

"Oh Christ...don't tell me you were walking around looking like one of the bastards from The Bee Gees back in the day..."

"Okay, I won't."

"Ewww...I wanna see pics but ewww..."

"...we're all he's got. Us and Gordon and he won't leave."

"Gordon will help us get him out, though. Him, Bullock, and Foxy. Maybe even Barbara. She's always had a soft spot for him from back in the day. If not, she'll do it for me...or Gordon. Gross."

"Problem is that Bruce may refuse to leave. He sees Gotham as his responsibility."

"I'll change his mind about that."

"I don't think you're in enough good physical condition to do that, yet."

"First of all, where there's a will, there's a way. Secondly, you need to mind your business, Jack. I know you're his Guardian and I guess mine now but there are boundaries..."

"Apologies."

"...and third, I don't think getting him to bounce will be as hard as you think. He doesn't want to lose anyone else he loves to what's left of this place. That's us. If we get out, he'll get out. Of course, he'll come back here to help as soon as possible because he's an overly noble piece of shit..."

"He's our overly noble piece of shit."

"...I know but...if we stick together, we can pull it off. Truce is still on."

"For Bruce."

"For Bruce."

[rudyskatopianiii]

Breath of the Wild Review (long AF)

So, as the title says, this is a review of the game Breath of the Wild and it is exceedingly long (TLDR at the end). THUS there are going to be some major huge spoilers for the game both lore-wise and gameplay-wise. If spoilers are not in your best interest, GO NO FURTHER THAN THIS CAPS LOCKED SENTANCE! Seriously, I’m going into some major important stuff both in the main story AND in sidequests. You have been warned.

First the review. 3 days before writing this I finished the very amazing game LOZ: Breath of the Wild and I will admit, it was pretty awesome. However, I was recently asked what my final thoughts on the game were and I had to stop and think a pretty long time. I was forced to review all of what I had experienced within this massive game and condense it into a single concise explanation of my overall emotion and thoughts about the staggering 150+ hours I spent in the land of Hyrule. It took some time as I relived every mountain I climbed, every guardian I destroyed, every secret I dug up, and all the various emotions I felt during the entire journey. And then I found an answer. The one thing that could possibly encompass all of the thoughts I had about Breath and the adventure I had been involved in for an entire cumulative 6 and a quarter days. “Meh”.

Now I know that "meh" is not the most glowing of reviews but it was the only thing I could say to completely sum up my entire Breath experiance. But why was the game so meh? Well, when I look back on everything I liked and didn't like, the game is terribly balanced. Everything that brings the score up is countered by something that brings the score right back down. The diverse and varied weapon style and techniques is brought down by the horridly low weapon durability. The characters are well designed but some lack depth and others have so little screentime I didn't feel any emotion for them. Even the main villain and major conflict, though epic in scale and interesting in the story, was little more than a blurry low-res shadowy wallpaper that I forgot it was there half the time. So many good things have been counteracted by bad things that I am left with a truly neutral ruling.

Now lets start with the story. Specifically, the characters. Link is devoid of any memory at the beginning of his adventure and is tasked by Impa to seek out those memories. There are a total of ten memories including the secret one Impa points you to and they are supposed to include all the information you need on all the main characters of the past that you are supposed to care about. But the main problem I have is that it's not enough. Only three out of the ten memories have to do with the other characters other than Zelda and the rest focus solely on Zelda and her relationship with her father and Link. There seem to have been more thought given to the character of Zelda than there is to the other characters who you actually need to save the souls of from the divine beasts. There's no incentive to go through with that as I am not in any way motivated to like or care for those characters. Rivali is a pompous ass, Urbosa is slightly amusing, Daruk is like a drunk uncle, and Mipha is in love with Link. Each of them have very compelling personalities but it is never expanded upon to the point where I want to save them. Even Link in almost all cutscenes is a deadeyed straight faced machine who does what he's told and has no real expression in reaction to things happening around him.

Now the past isn't the only place the game tries to gain your motivation, there is another motive for completing the divine beasts. That is for the sake of the people in immediate danger of their rampage. Nabooris is threatening the Gerudo, Medoh is oppressing the Rito, Ruta is drowning the Zora, and Rudania is attacking the Gorons. So, as a good hero must, you are expected to save those races from the rampaging colossi. However, if I were a first comer to the Zelda series, I wouldn't be that motivated to save these races as I don't really care for much of the characters. The ones you interact with are either super one-dimensional or they are interacted with so shortly you don't have time to get to know them.

Take everyone's favorite at the moment, Prince Sidon. Memes aside, this was the worst case of a missed opportunity in the entire game. Mipha, the Zora champion, is not only the Zora King's daughter, but Sidon's sister as well. A very compelling and intriguing story would've been to have the two of them immediately angry with Link or be an obstacle to the objective to begin with. I mean, losing a family member is the extremely traumatizing and it would make sense for those closest to the deceased to be the most affected. But instead, the King is all too happy to help you, Sidon is all "I believe in you!" right from the very start, and the only obstacle between you and Ruta is some crotchety old Zora who is quickly convinced to help by a set of armor and a memory. Yeah, its cute and unexpected that Mipha's armor is like a Zora wedding ring but that's the most you get in the direction of meaningful connections. In the end there is only one reason to do any of the divine beasts and its just for an easier endgame.

Speaking of endgame, Ganon is also a point that kills the score I gave this game and not just because of the anticlimactic final fight. @blueganon has said this already but I'll add it here because it is so true. Ganon is supposed to be the main villain in this game with the Yiga Clan as his devoted disciples. You'd think after games like Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time that Nintendo would know how to make a overbearing evil that looms upon you from every angle or goads you forward with each step. But the team missed the mark with this game. Ganon is locked in place as a hazy smoke rolling around Hyrule Castle that is obstructed from view as soon as you go past a mountain and the Yiga clan, though more active after defeating their master, is more a nuisance than an active threat. It is such a passive thing that you could easily forget that there is even a Ganon at all. The final fight is depressingly simple as well. The first round is actually pretty active and very well designed (see my theory post coming after this) and incorporates all the techniques and equipment you've been collecting on your adventure. But then the fight devolves into a shoot-the-weak-point generic 3D Zelda boss that this game had done so well trying to avoid.

Even the side quests are shallow and not that fun to do. They're either a "get this thing(s) and bring it here" quest or a "kill this thing(s)" quest with few deviating from that formula and they all have either common or uncommon rewards that are easily found in abundance in the overworld. The only quest that even comes close to being worth the chore is the Tarrey Town questline where you build an entire settlement and populate it with people from all over the map. But even that is comprised of multiple fetch quests. I mean, I know they're just side quests and those characters don't really matter in the grand scheme of things but Majora's Mask is chocked full of side quests that are not tied to the main objective but the majority of which have memorable characters with great stories spanning before, during, and after their completion. It's that attention to detail and good storytelling that give the world its own voice and each and every NPC their own special place in not just your memory but your heart (god what a cliché...).

Then there's the music. The game has only 3 memorable pieces in it (at least for me), the song that plays at Rito Village, the song at Tarrey Town, and the final assault orchestration that plays at Hyrule Castle. Rito Village is the melody on Dragon Roost Island from Wing Waker but much more mellow, Tarrey Town is an amazing melding of each theme across Hyrule and is a real calming melody, and Hyrule Castle's music really does feel like a final assault with its epic orchestra and the weaving of Ganon's theme and Zelda's lullaby together along with an original theme for the Castle itself is so fulfilling especially when your there to finish the game. But that's it. Other than some of the mini-boss themes like fighting a Hinox or Molduga, which are good but... fleeting to put it mildly, there are no other really memorable melodies or compositions even for the overworld witch is eerily silent except for the once in a while piano piece that only serves as ambiance. Even Kass' song, though very recognizable and a great example of good open world design, is just a loop that gets old pretty quickly. The final boss' theme was so forgettable that even a few days after completing the game I've already forgotten it. That. Is. Not. Good. My last thoughts on the game should not be "welp... that's done".

There was just so much missed potential in this game that could've made it so much better. And it's those multiple shortcomings that are ultimately holding it back. I want to be exceedingly enthusiastic about the game. I want to give it a perfect score. Hell, I WANT to be excited about every part of this game. But I just can't. And it kills me that I can't have it on that level of esteem.

TLDR: Breath of the Wild counters itself so well its just an "ok" game. Ganondorf theory post coming soon.

[oumakokichi]

I accidentally answered a question privately just now that I didn’t mean to. OTL

Thankfully I still have the response saved, so I’ll just put it in normal text post form. The question was from tumblr user @bells, and it went like this:

Hello! How do you think things would have been different if Ouma was one of the survivors? In particular, how do you think his relationship with Saihara would have developed? Thank you for all your hard work in writing your meta, it’s been very helpful!

Thank you for asking this! I feel like as one of the characters who’s left an undeniably huge impression on the fanbase, Ouma does provide a lot of potential for one of the most potentially interesting survivors. A lot of people were probably counting on him making it all the way to the end too, although his death in Chapter 5 does make a lot of sense thematically, and from the standpoint of the previous Chapter 5s we’ve seen in dr1 and sdr2.

From this point on I’ll just be covering lots of spoilers for everything in Chapter 5 and onward, so anyone who doesn’t want to get spoiled for endgame points of the game, don’t read past this! (And again, I’m so sorry for accidentally responding on private instead.)

The fact that there are only 3 survivors at the end of ndrv3 is definitely a fun branching away from the previous trend in the franchise, but it’s true that it’s very interesting to picture if there had perhaps been more survivors overall, and how their continued presence might have impacted the way things turned out. Ndrv3 had such an incredibly varied cast of characters, and considering how essential Ouma is to understanding the game’s themes and to illuminating hints and clues for both Saihara and the player, I think he’s easily one of the most fascinating to picture making it all the way to the end.

Considering how desperate he was to carry his own investigation out, and how much he wanted to strike back against the mastermind for very personal, very bitter reasons, I can’t help but think his continued presence in Chapter 6 would’ve been fascinating to see. For all that Ouma was incredibly smart, perceptive, and aware of how to play the game, the fact that he couldn’t pinpoint Tsumugi specifically as the mastermind means that we’d really, truly get to see him caught completely off guard by all the reveals.

As for how he could possibly survive the events of Chapter 5, I’ve actually given it some thought lately. And I think it’d be interesting to see a potential scenario in which, when he and Momota are both talking over the possibilities of what to do while the cameras are off, Momota realizes that since he’s bound to die anyway in any possible scenario they could possibly think of, he decides to die by killing himself instead.

A lot of people have called Ouma’s decision to die in Chapter 5 and having Momota lower the press “blackmail,” but that’s a bit of a misconception. The flow of events in Chapter 5 culminates with Maki shooting Ouma with poisoned arrows in order to try and remove him as a threat and to test exactly how much he knew, because she thought he was the mastermind—and Momota intervenes and winds up also getting shot in the process. If they don’t do anything, they both die. Maki will inevitably be held accountable and tried and executed. She prepared by making enough antidote for her poison for exactly one person, since she had only ever planned on shooting Ouma in the first place, but Ouma snatched the antidote from her before Momota could take it and faked drinking it so realistically that she couldn’t tell that he hadn’t actually ingested it.

My thoughts are basically as follows: in addition to being poisoned, Momota is also, as we know, sick from before and slowly dying from that. If he OR Ouma die from the poison, Maki will be executed, and this is the worst-case scenario that he wants to avoid. Ouma is convinced that having himself be killed under the press, using one of Miu’s bombs to prevent the cameras from seeing anything, will create an inexplicable case in which even the mastermind won’t know the correct answer, and if Monokuma is proven untruthful or wrong about any actual verdicts or rules, that destroys the entire basis for the killing game and brings it to an end.

But I could potentially see Momota deciding, not for Ouma’s sake, but simply for Maki’s, that in order to keep as large a number of people alive as possible, it would make more sense to kill himself instead, utilizing the railing from the place where the press was instead of the press itself, or any other number of tools nearby, and essentially setting up a case in which he’s both the victim and the culprit, much like Sakura in dr1’s Chapter 4. Ouma would hate this potential turn of events and decision, and still try to insist that his own version would work, and that Momota should take the antidote so that he could make it to the trial in time, but Momota is firm in his decision to sacrifice himself for Maki, and carries out his own suicide, and Ouma’s plan to confuse people as to who the victim and the culprit is fails.

He still stays out of sight for the entirety of the investigation, however. Showing up in front of Maki, who just tried to kill him, or Saihara, who he’s been rather bitter about ever since his whole charade at the end of Chapter 4, sounds like a waste of his time, and he already knows they’re going to blame him as the culprit of the case even though he didn’t actually kill Momota, and even though he’s hated the entire killing game from the very beginning. He shows up for the trial only moments before they’re all supposed to get on the elevator, much like Kirigiri in dr1 Chapter 5, and doesn’t say a word to any of them.

The thing with Ouma is that while he’s fantastic at putting on a facade of a whole array of emotions, I think the closest we get to seeing what he’s truly thinking or plotting is whenever he goes completely blank. He certainly can and does get genuinely happy or angry about things, but it’s always infinitely harder to tell how much of those things are part of his calculated ploys, and how much are just him messing around or teasing. Whenever he’s blank, though, you can almost see the wheels turning in his head. And his reaction to having his plans interrupted or something catching him off guard is always to go…very, very blank. He did it plenty of times during the Chapter 4 trial whenever the others weren’t quite seeing what he was getting at, and he told them that he didn’t want to die. And he did it especially when Saihara told him that he was pathetic and lonely and that his methods were flat-out wrong.

I think that’s how Ouma would spend much of the Chapter 5 trial, in this hypothetical scenario. His plan to play the villain and unite them all against him in Chapter 4 backfired horribly, and now his plans are ruined regardless, so there’s simply no more incentive for him to put on an act. Maki and the others would be especially insistent that he was the culprit, and I think he’d honestly just stand there at the trial, blank, and let them think whatever they want, because he’s tired and he wants the game to end and at least this way he can just go out a villain to the end, like he was pretty much planning from the start.

But I would be especially interested in seeing Saihara manage to piece it together here against all odds and against Ouma’s expectations. After the note on which the Chapter 4 trial ended, and the bad blood between them, there would be wonderful potential for Saihara to come to understand more fully, and by investigating all the possibilities of the mystery, that Ouma was never actually the villain he set himself up to be, and that he’s not the culprit of the trial. Momota’s self-sacrifice and making himself the culprit of his own suicide would still be meaningful and still prevent Maki from being executed, and Monokuma would still be pissed off and throwing a tantrum about this whole series of events, but there wouldn’t be much he could do about it.

And the fact that Saihara reached an actual, fuller understanding of the truth, and of something very important about Ouma that he had never been expecting him to reach–it would be a huge step of development. It would also be a huge mirror and throwback to the themes that DR has always had in its 5th trials: that even though there are people who are lying to you or seemingly doing something contradictory (Kirigiri, setting Naegi up to take the fall and supposedly sending him to his death, and Nanami, who had been the traitor all along though in a different way than anyone thought), you ultimately have to have faith in them and trust that there’s truly a reason for what they’re doing.

I feel like this particular kind of development could have given both Saihara and Ouma so much room for potential in their dynamic for all of Chapter 6 and onward, because while Ouma would certainly still be trying to ostracize himself from the group and probably still going blank and acting as if he didn’t particularly care about the outcome of the trial in Chapter 5 one way or the other, the fact that Saihara would have made that first step of real understanding would be an important turn in their relationship that couldn’t be taken back one way or another.

And having Ouma still be alive and well would lead to huge possibilities for their investigation of the truth–with his true aim of stopping the killing game already exposed, there’d be no more point in pretending to fool the mastermind anymore, and Ouma probably would reluctantly, begrudgingly show his whiteboard and theories to the rest of them, moreso if Saihara thought there was a real chance at discovering something new about Amami’s murder from the first trial. Finding a new lead and a new possibility as to the real identity of the mastermind might well be the one thing that would kind of rekindle Ouma’s own drive to investigate and get him acting a little bit less like an unresponsive robot.

Considering Ouma’s reluctance to tell them all anything about the true state of the outside world, and considering how much he has known and kept hidden from the rest of the group even from the very beginning, it would be extremely fascinating to see him present in the Chapter 6 trial. Tsumugi’s comments about the “pawn of the mastermind” and his talent being imbued with despair are all things that would be much easier for Saihara to refute, having actually worked with Ouma for the entire chapter and having seen that he was never truly as horrible as he made himself out to be.

And similarly, Ouma’s knack for spotting the lies of others and jumping on them almost instantly means it would be considerably easier to determine exactly how much of what Tsumugi said was true or not. Please, give me super creepy Ouma sprites where he actually has fun getting into villain mode again in Chapter 6’s trial, but this time it’s directed at the mastermind herself, and all the others are slightly taken aback after his relative lack of emotional displays ever since the thing with Momota happened. It’s very fun to picture.

I would love to see Ouma still reluctant to return to the outside world once the way out was clear, knowing that the full truth of things might break the rest of them, and knowing that he’s still done very horrible, awful things that can’t be taken back, and that his personality is still irrevocably messed up because of despair that he never asked for. There would be a very real, honest hesitation in him, because even if the rest of them were determined to live as their own persons and face the world with “fiction” as their own reality, he’s still very much caught in the middle of things as always.

And Saihara might honestly be the only one who could convince him to come outside anyway, because while they’ll always carry the past with them and they can’t take back the things they’ve seen or done, the here-and-now is also important, and Ouma too is someone who can make his own person from here on out, even if he doesn’t quite know who he is.

This was so much fun to write about, thank you so much for asking! And thank you as always for all your support and nice tags! I really, honestly would love to see the fanfictions and works that surface from the fandom considering all these super interesting possibilities.