softlenaluthor

[softlenaluthor]

see. i love daryl and carol because it’s all “bad ass angry man” and “soft spoken quiet woman” and you’re like cool gender norms. and then carol pulls out a grenade launcher

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Sir Hans Capon: looking for true love vs having found true love

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I think about this screenshot every single day

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KCD1 vs KCD2 - Hans has always looked at Henry like 😏

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arts & crafts 🎨 (ft. godwin)

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I bought all the parts necessary for my first game PC that should be able to handle kingdom come deliverance 2 so this has been me for the past week while I wait for everything to come in

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how hans looks at henry after being the world’s most insufferable cunty brat and causing a tavern brawl so huge, every town in bohemia knows about it the next day:

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I did it. Hansry brought something in me back to life. I feel like I've been waiting for this ship for a VERY long time. The original images are HUGE I hope Tumblr doesn't eat the quality.

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honour those who came before us

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Me, before season 14: regular size Rudy is mid. Wet blanket. A room temperature salad. The vibes are giving future-incel.

Me, after season 14: OHHHH!!! regular sized Rudy is actually so relatable!!!! He's not a piece of soggy lettuce he's just ANXIOUS!! ALL, the, TIME! What a mood.

Credit: u/gatsomaru2

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[softlenaluthor]

Pebis

what

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please this post has me in a chokehold 😭😭

i’m so into reading tags like 500 of y’all could be reblogging my stuff and tag it as ‘me’ and ‘mood’ and nothing else and i’d still read every single one of y’alls tags

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do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

[softlenaluthor]

I had a weird but quite fun dream just now, so I’m writing it down here so I don’t lose the memory of it, I guess. It’s one of those dreams that you kinda want to get back to, and it’s a little sad too. But to me it was a fun dream. It was better than dreaming about people I miss.

So me, in my personal life, I’m in assisted living. It’s something I’m struggling to share irl if it ever comes up. I’m constantly confronted with a feeling of “I don’t belong here”. But then again, I also don’t feel like I belong in a house alone. I feel like I’m an adult, but not really. It’s a mental institution, but not really. The other people who live in the house also have their own issues and reasons as to why they live here. I have to say I’ve been living here for nearly two years and I don’t feel anything for anyone. I feel like an outside here just like I feel like an outsider in the “outside” world.

One of the goals of this institution is to train to eventually live on your own.

So in my dream, my coach told me that I had to enroll in a program along with the other residents, a mandatory program in “how to be normal”. So I went to a special facility where I would take my test. I went into the room and saw all the other residents taking their test already. One particular man, I noticed, struggling with it quite verbally. I peeked at his test and noticed the question said something along the lines of “whenever I feel wooqusuwwiwudbsuskir I will then quauwkjsusaowiwh”. So I personally couldn’t figure out what the question was saying, either.

My coach stopped me when I wanted to sit down and take the test. She told me that they have a special assignment for me. There was a woman living nearby who I needed to interact to in order to pass my test. I was quite baffled that I was the only one with a different test, but I was like “sure”.

So we went over to her house, it was a very dark neighborhood, but the house lights were on so someone was clearly home. With all the curtains closed I couldn’t do much besides see some faint silhouettes in the room. My coach immediately retreated into the shadows when we approached the house, clearly indicating that I was to do the initial contact alone. I was nervous about it, but there wasn’t much else I could do besides accept.

As I approached the door, I noticed that the woman was sitting in front of the tv. I debated where to knock on the glass or the wooden frame of the door, and opted for the glass: I attempted three decently loud knocks. As the woman’s gaze shifted from the tv, through the hallway, to the door, I raised my hand in greeting as to appear friendly, and not like a crazy stranger knocking on people’s door in the dark.

Much to my surprise, she had no qualms about getting up and approaching the door. As she swung the door open, I was surprised to see that she wasn’t some “sad old lady” like I expected when my coach told me about my assignment with her. She was just a little taller than me, but young, around my age I would say, and quite pretty. It felt comforting knowing that I wouldn’t be forced through a social interaction with someone I didn’t feel like I had anything in common with. It gave me the strength to speak up. I knew I had to work hard to sell my story, because who would let a random stranger in just to talk?

I said, “excuse me, I-”

She was quick to interrupt me. “You’re here for your normalcy test. I recognized you from last year as I approached the door.”

Another weight fell off my shoulders the realization sunk in that I must’ve met this woman before, that she didn’t seem to blame me for not recognizing her earlier, and that this would make my assignment a whole lot easier and somehow, my coach forgot that I had already done this test with this woman.

The woman was definitely approachable, and I felt all the tension drain from my body as she moved to open the door further to let us in. I felt myself shift on my feet teasingly, as I leaned in a little to whisper conspiratorially: “How fun would it be if we went in and pretended we didn’t know each other, just for a little while?”

The woman was game for that, the smile she returned just as playful as my smirk. I thought to myself, this would look like I’m doing good so far, as my coach looked on. I also thought to myself, I like this woman, I wish we could be friends. As I thought that, I also heard a sad voice in my head supply: but you’ll never ask her that. The other part of me agreed, I would never ask her that. Maybe, at most, I’ll follow her on social media.

In my dream, I thought to myself, “it’s just nice to feel like you want to be someone’s friend.”

And then I woke up.