#in another life there is a version of me who is living his best dancer life

[two-entire-bits]

Rant time sometimes I get so so mad about this because I REALLY love dance. I love it so much and I've loved it since I was little. And I got some things going against me when it comes to dancing y'know like most styles of dance are very gendered and learning to dance and then transitioning in middle school and medically transitioning now would've been complicated, and I'm chubby and the performance industry and ESPECIALLY the dance industry are VERY rooted in fatphobia, and I'm also very inflexible, but while those things would make being a dancer harder or more complicated, they wouldn't stop me (especially with the inflexibility that could be fixed with a lot of training and work) but the fucking thing is. I have really bad vertigo and dizziness. I can't do a single pirouette without everything spinning and my head pounding. And my favourite styles of dance (ballet, ballroom, swing, and theatre) are all VERY MUCH built on spins and twirls. So even if everything was different, even if I'd been dancing since I was 3 and I was cis and I was built like a twig and I could bend like gumby, I still wouldn't be able to be a dancer because I just can't. I'd fall over or throw up or pass out. I want this so bad and I'd be so good but I just can't be a dancer because I got unlucky.

[redroomreflections]

Her Best Secret

1950s Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha and R are having an affair.

Note: I wrote this after watching Mother's Instinct with Anne Hathway and Jessica Chastain. I needed to make it gay. I don't know what this is truly but it's here.

Warnings: Smut and fluff kind off.

Picket fences. Two-and-a-half children. A dog in the yard. A steady job. A house on a quiet street. Nuclear family. Marriage. College. This was what life was about. The checklist of happiness, painted in bright colors and polished to perfection, like the chrome trim on the cars Sam sold so well.

Tonight, it all seemed true. The music drifted out from the open windows of Steve and Natasha’s house, mingling with the scent of freshly cut grass and neighbors' laughter on the patio. The neighborhood had turned out to celebrate Sam’s big promotion—another shiny star on the life everyone was striving for. You stood by the punch bowl, watching as Natasha twirled beneath Steve’s hand in the center of the makeshift dance floor. Her laughter was light and infectious, her cheeks flushed in a way that made her even more stunning under the string lights. She looked happy—effortlessly so.

Your gaze lingered a moment too long before you turned away, your hand brushing absently over the fabric of your dress. Sam was recounting the story of his big sale to an eager group of neighbors somewhere nearby. You could hear his voice rise and fall, full of charisma and charm, the same traits that had swept you off your feet all those years ago.

"Mama, come dance with us," Claire demanded as she tugged on your hand. Your daughter was the perfect mix of the two of you, and she never ceased to make your heart swell. You smiled down at her, smoothing the hair out of her face and taking in her toothy grin.

“In a minute,” you promised, swirling the punch in your glass. “Let me finish this.”

“Okay,” Claire shrugged, already distracted. She launched into her version of the jitterbug as “Why Do Fools Fall In Love” spun on the record player. Her tiny feet shuffled wildly, arms flailing with abandon. It wasn’t quite the jitterbug but hers, and she owned it.

You smiled, watching her. The song brought back memories of Sam. You could almost feel the warmth of his hands around your waist, guiding you through the steps, the two of you laughing and stumbling over each other in the middle of your living room. A good memory.

“It’s a great party, right?” came a voice behind you.

You turned to see Sarah Wilson, her warm smile disarming as always. She was one of those rare people who could make anyone feel at home. Your sister-in-law had been a steady presence in your life, offering unsolicited advice and unwavering support.

“Oh, of course,” you nodded, eyes flicking between Claire’s eclectic moves and Natasha and Steve, who were swaying comfortably in the center of the dance floor. “Everyone seems to be having a good time.”

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Sarah chuckled, nodding toward the dance floor. “I didn’t think Natasha would ever get Steve out there. That man’s all business. But look at them now.”

You smiled into your glass, forcing a little laugh. “They seem like they’re enjoying themselves.”

“Speaking of enjoying,” Sarah said, her tone shifting as her gaze landed on Claire. “Your little one’s a great dancer. She’s got rhythm for sure.”

“Thanks,” you said, feeling a touch of pride.

“Have you two thought about giving her another playmate?” Sarah’s voice was casual, but her eyes gleamed with curiosity.

The question was unexpected, and you took a step back. It was a fair question. Most couples with kids would have more than one. You had known that since the day Claire was born. But the thought of having another child—with Sam, of all people—made your stomach churn.

Sarah was waiting, and you knew her well enough to know that she would keep pressing until you answered.

"Oh, well,” you began, fumbling for an answer, “I’ve been thinking about returning to work. It’s just not the right time for us.”

Sarah arched an eyebrow, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “Work, huh? Well, I’m sure Sam has his own thoughts about that.”

Before you could respond, Sam appeared beside you, his arms wrapping around your waist. “What’s going on here?” he asked, his easy grin softening the tension in your chest.

“Oh, nothing,” Sarah said lightly, though her tone betrayed her nosiness. “We were just talking about Claire’s dancing—and whether she might get a little brother or sister someday.”

Sam glanced at you, his brow lifting in amusement. “Is that so?”

You felt your cheeks warm as you shrugged helplessly.

“She said she’s thinking about returning to work,” Sarah added, her teasing smile turning to him.

Sam chuckled and shook his head. “Come on, Sarah. Leave her alone. She’s got enough on her plate without you playing matchmaker for the kids. If you'll excuse me, I want to dance with my wife."

Sarah rolled her eyes at her brother. Then, with a quick wink to you, she said, "Okay, okay, I can take a hint. But don't go too far. We're doing the fireworks after dinner and need help setting up all the chairs."

Sam took your hand and pulled you out onto the dancefloor, ignoring his sister, twirling you playfully before pulling you close. His eyes shone, and you wondered how much he had had to drink. It didn’t matter. You needed this right now; you needed to feel the warmth of his skin against yours and a distraction from seeing her with him.

"I didn't know you were thinking about returning to work," he said, his eyes searching yours.

"It's been on my mind, yes," You nodded.

"I thought we agreed you didn't need to," He tilted his head slightly. "You'd be leaving Claire with a babysitter or at daycare. We can afford to take care of her ourselves."

"I know, but..." You trailed off.

He grinned down at you, his frown barely noticeable as he leaned closer. “But what?”

You laughed softly, letting him spin you again, your hesitation hidden behind the dance. “I just… I like the idea of doing something for myself again, you know?”

Sam pulled you close, his hand firm at the small of your back. His grin widened, his tone teasing. “You mean besides raising the most beautiful kid in the neighborhood?”

You couldn’t help but smile at his charm. “Exactly,” you quipped, tapping his chest lightly. He pulled you tighter to him.

"I know it's what you want," He whispered. "But you look so beautiful when you're pregnant."

You rolled your eyes. "You're ridiculous, Sam."

"I'm just being honest," He said, his tone light and playful.

"You're drunk, and I'm tired." You tried to pull away, but he held fast, his hands firm on your hips.

"You know you want to," he teased, his breath hot on your ear. Finally, he sighed. "I love you."

"I love you, too," You muttered, closing your eyes as his lips brushed your temple. When he moved to kiss your lips, you didn't pull away. You loved Sam. You really did. You always had.

And yet...

"Okay, lovebirds,” came Natasha’s voice, cutting through the music with playful ease. “Sam, let me take her away. It’s my turn to dance.” She said it with a teasing grin, the kind that made her so easy to like. Natasha, your closest friend, was a familiar presence, one the neighborhood never found threatening.

Sam chuckled, loosening his hold on your waist. “Fine, but don’t wear her out,” he replied with mock seriousness. "I need her tonight."

You pulled away and offered him a polite smile, careful not to meet his gaze.

From the corner of your eye, you caught Sam exchanging a glance with Steve. The two men shrugged, their silent communication as effortless as their friendship. They knew nothing could come between the two of you.

“You alright?” Natasha asked softly, her voice low enough for only you to hear.

“I’m fine,” you replied.

She smiled, her lips curving into that mischievous way of hers, her eyes sparkling like she already knew the truth. “Good. Let’s go find some real fun.”

Before you could respond, she grabbed your arm gently but insistently, steering you off the dance floor and down toward the basement. She fumbled for the light control before pulling the string.

“What are we doing down here?” you asked, a small laugh escaping as she guided you to the landing. "I'm going to twist my ankle."

Natasha continued. “Sometimes a girl needs to breathe,” she said lightly, though there was an undercurrent to her words. "And Steve keeps the good beers down here."

"Well, thank God for Steve," you laughed.

"Amen," Natasha nodded as she rumbled through the deep freeze. "Ah, we only have one."

"We can share it," You shrugged. "We have the best stories, and I think we've earned it."

"Cheers," Natasha said as she raised the can and pulled the tab to open it. She wasn't anticipating the rush of foam that exploded from the top, so she stepped back in horror. Droplets landed on the floor and her dress.

"Oh no," You groaned.

"Shit," She muttered, trying to brush the beer off her front.

"Oh, no. Natasha, I'm so sorry. Come here," You reached for the paper towels on the table and tried to wipe off the beer. "I think I made it worse."

"Yeah, me too," Natasha muttered, frowning as she dabbed at the wet stain. "God, I can't believe this. This is the worst."

You sighed, trying not to laugh. "It's not that bad. Just tell people it's a design feature. Or... or pretend it's a bloodstain. Tell people you got a little violent."

Natasha's laughter bubbled up, and she gave you a playful shove. "Don't joke like that! My blood is supposed to stay on the inside, thank you very much. Also, it's clear, and blood is red."

You chuckled, reaching for the can. "Here, give me some of that."

Natasha relented and watched as you sipped from the can. Her eyes never seemed to leave you.

"So...how's Sam?"

"He's...good."

Natasha's eyes narrowed slightly. "That's it?"

You shrugged. "What do you want me to say? He's...good. Things are good."

"Mmm," she hummed, tilting her head slightly.

"What?" you asked, your voice coming out more defensively than you intended.

"What were you guys talking about?"

"Nothing. It was nothing. Just...work. Stuff. Things. Nothing important."

Natasha pursed her lips, clearly unconvinced. "Uh-huh."

You sighed, trying not to fidget under her stare. "He wants another baby."

Natasha blinked. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And what?"

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know," you shrugged. "I mean, I love Claire, and I don't know if we're ready for another baby. And..." You trailed off.

"And?"

"It's just...hard," you admitted quietly. "He's so attentive when I'm pregnant, and I get to spend a lot of time with him, and then when the baby comes, he gets so busy. It's just...hard. And sometimes, I think maybe it would be better if we didn't have any more kids."

"You don't want Claire to have a sibling?" She probed. "Are you guys being careful?"

"By careful, do you mean not letting him finish inside me?"

"Um, yes?"

"Then yes," you confirmed, nodding. "Do you really want to hear the ways Sam and I are practicing safe sex?"

Natasha laughed, the sound soft and low, a private melody just for you. “No, no, I don’t,” she said, shaking her head slightly. She would rather you not sleep with him at all. She sighed, the corners of her mouth tugging downward, then licked her lips—a slow, deliberate motion that drew your attention, as it always did. That shade of red was your favorite on her, and she knew it.

Her green eyes met yours, steady and probing. “Are you happy?”

The question hit you like a stray gust of wind, sudden and disarming.

“Of course,” you replied, the words tumbling out too fast, too practiced. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

Natasha raised a single, elegant eyebrow, the expression laced with skepticism. “Because I can tell when you’re lying,” she said plainly, her tone cutting through your defenses like a knife through butter.

Your shoulders slumped slightly as you leaned against the countertop. The calm surface grounded you, though it couldn’t stop the swirl of emotions rising in your chest. “It’s just hard sometimes,” you admitted quietly, almost to yourself.

Her gaze softened, the sharp edges of her wit giving way to something warmer, something more tender. “Yeah, I know,” she murmured.

She set down the beer can she’d been holding, the metallic clink almost imperceptible under the weight of her words. Her fingers drummed on the countertop; the rhythm was uneven, nearly hesitant, as if her thoughts were tangled in the silence between you. The crimson polish on her nails caught the dim light, matching the glow in her eyes as she studied you.

“Sometimes,” she began, her voice barely audible, “I think we forget we’re allowed to want more.”

Your heart skipped a beat, the implication hanging like unspoken truths. You glanced back toward the stairs, where laughter and music blasted above you, but it felt a world away from this moment.

“And what if we can’t have more?” you asked, your voice trembling just enough to betray the depth of the question.

Natasha’s lips curved into a faint, bittersweet smile. “Then maybe we take what we can get,” she said softly, her eyes never leaving yours. Before you could respond, Natasha's lips were on yours. Soft. Warm. Inviting. Her arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, and you could feel the heat radiating from her body.

A quiet moan escaped her, muffled against your mouth, and you could taste the sweetness of the beer lingering on her tongue. You closed your eyes, losing yourself in the warmth of her touch, in the familiar scent of her perfume. Your mind raced, and yet your thoughts were perfectly still. Her body was so different. Her touch was so different.

A loud thump, followed by the unmistakable sound of laughter, cut through the air. Then a cry and a scream of "Mama" followed. Natasha pulled away quickly, her face flushed, her breathing uneven. You glanced at the ceiling, the spell between you broken. That was the cry of your child.

"I should probably go and check on her," You said while Natasha spoke.

"We should probably get back," Natasha murmured.

You nodded, unable to meet her eyes. Wiping your mouth, you glanced back at her before heading upstairs.

*****

You could smell the firecrackers before you saw them, the sharp scent of smoke mingling with the sweet smell of hamburgers grilling. Claire sat in your lap, the three-year-old tired and sleepy from all the excitement. You couldn't blame her after the day chasing the other kids around the house.

Claire leaned her head against your chest, her eyes heavy with sleep. You rubbed her back absently, smiling at how her small hand curled around yours.

The sky was dark, but the backyard was lit by the string lights draped over the trees and the fireworks in the sky. You were amazed at how she could sleep through this. Sam sat next to you in the grass, his arms wrapped around your waist and his hands rubbing your side. He felt at home.

Briefly, you could see a flash of the light catching across a couple, and your eyes moved towards them. It was Natasha and Steve. He stood almost a foot taller than her, his arms wrapped around her midsection as she leaned back into his chest. They looked comfortable like they belonged together. How their bodies seemed to mold into each other was the kind of thing romance novels talked about.

They were so beautiful together.

The thought made you uneasy.

Sam leaned over and whispered in your ear, his breath warm on your skin. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," you murmured, leaning into him. "Just a bit tired. She's a heavy sleeper."

He chuckled softly, his hand reaching up to caress your cheek. His thumb brushed your skin, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation.

"You know, it's our anniversary tomorrow," He said, his tone casual, but the meaning behind his words clear.

"Oh," you said, trying to keep the surprise out of your voice.

"Yeah, five years," he smiled.

"Wow, I can't believe it's been that long," you admitted.

"Me neither," he grinned, kissing your lips softly. You couldn't see Natasha's eyes on the two of you.

Sam looked up and noticed the fireworks lighting the sky. He nudged Claire and whispered, "Come on, sweetheart. You're going to miss the fireworks."

Claire lifted her head, blinking blearily. "No, Daddy. I'm sleepy," she whined.

"Come on, pumpkin. Let's watch the show," Sam coaxed, his voice gentle and coaxing. Claire groaned softly but let Sam lift her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, her tiny hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. “Alright, pumpkin,” he said with a chuckle, “just for a little while.”

You watched them walk toward the edge of the patio, where the first bursts of fireworks lit up the night sky. Claire’s sleepy eyes reflected the vibrant colors as she yawned against her daddy's chest.

Five years. It was a long time. You'd built a life together. One you were proud of. One you were comfortable with.

Your eyes drifted to the couple again, and your chest tightened. Natasha and Steve looked so natural together. So at ease. And then there was you, feeling like an imposter. You weren’t the girl Sam fell in love with anymore. You weren't the one who wanted all the same things he did. And you couldn't tell him. You couldn't shatter his image of you.

Sam whispered something into Claire's ear, lifting her head to look at you.

"Mama, come watch."

"In a minute, baby," you called, your voice thick with emotion.

You swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears. How could you be so selfish? Sam had given you everything. He had given you Claire. You were blessed, yet you couldn't seem content with what you had.

Natasha echoed in your mind: Sometimes we forget we're allowed to want more.

*************

Tuesdays were sacred. At exactly 12:30, without fail, Natasha would appear at your front door, her heels clicking softly against the pavement as she walked the three doors down. By the time the clock struck the half-hour, you would already have the kettle whistling on the stove and the good china laid out.

It started as a casual thing—a neighborly gesture during those quiet, lonesome afternoons when the house felt too big and Sam was at work. But over time, it became something more. A ritual. A promise.

This Tuesday was no different. You were finishing the vacuuming when you heard Claire shriek with laughter from the living room. You smiled to yourself, knowing what that meant.

You rounded the corner, the vacuum still humming, and saw Claire spinning in circles as Natasha crouched down to her level, a broad smile on her perfectly painted red lips.

“She’s getting good at this,” Natasha teased, catching Claire mid-spin and lifting her off the ground.

“Too good,” you replied, switching off the vacuum and leaning against the doorway. “She’s going to join the circus at this rate.”

Natasha laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Her gaze traveled to the hallway and the bags of groceries waiting by the front door.

"Let me help," She said, setting Claire back on the floor.

"Thanks," you murmured, grabbing the nearest bag. "I don't know why I let Sam talk me into doing this today."

"Probably the same reason I let Steve convince me to get the new patio furniture," Natasha chuckled, following you into the kitchen.

"He can be persuasive, can't he?"

"Yeah, yeah, he can," She agreed, her tone wistful.

"It's not a bad thing," You said, placing the bags on the counter.

"Tasha, come play," Claire begged.

"In a minute, little one," Natasha promised. Claire nodded and rushed back into the den with her toys.

"How about some tea?" You offered.

"You read my mind," Natasha smiled.

You took the teapot from the cupboard and filled it with water, watching as the steam rose from the spout. Your thoughts drifted back to that night in the basement, and you wondered if Natasha felt the same. There had been many nights like that. Many shared kisses. Shared looks. You think back to that night months again when you'd given her her first orgasm at the hands of a woman.

It was a moment that changed things. It was the moment you knew you were done pretending.

"I'm glad we have this," Natasha murmured.

"Tea?"

"No, silly. Time." She turned to look at you, her green eyes softening. "I'm glad we have this. This friendship."

You couldn't help but smile. "Me, too."

"So," Natasha said, leaning against the counter and folding her arms over her chest, "how are things going with you and Sam?"

You shrugged. "Good."

"That's all you're going to give me?" She prodded, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"There's not much to tell," you admitted.

"You guys had an anniversary a few nights ago," Natasha reminded you.

"Do we discuss the juicy details like that still?"

Natasha hesitated, then shook her head. "No, but I'm asking because I care about you, and I know Sam has been a bit persistent about the baby thing."

You sighed, turning back to the stove. You were silent.

"I'm sorry," Natasha said quietly. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, no, it's fine," you assured her. "It's just..."

"Just what?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, it's just me," Natasha reminded you gently, reaching out to touch your arm. "You can tell me anything."

You hesitated, then blurted out, "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Us," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "What are we doing? Is this just a...thing?"

Natasha blinked, her expression unreadable. "A thing?"

"Yeah, like, I don't know, an escape or something," you tried to explain. "Like, a distraction."

Natasha shook her head slowly. "No, no, I wouldn't say that."

"Then what would you say?"

"I'd say that I enjoy spending time with you. I'd say that you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman, and I'm lucky to call you a friend."

"But what does that mean?"

Natasha stepped closer, her hand moving from your arm to the small of your back. Her gaze never left yours, her eyes searching for an answer to a question she couldn't quite voice.

"It means that I care about you," she said softly. "And if you ever need a distraction, I'm here."

"What if I don't want a distraction?" You breathed.

"What do you want?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

You didn't answer. Instead, you pulled her across the kitchen to the laundry room. You left the door open to hear Claire in case she needed you. In an instant, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to hers, kissing her like it was the last time.

She kissed you back, her hands resting on your neck, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss. Her tongue parted your lips, and you tasted the sweetness of her breath. Her hands moved lower, sliding over your curves, and you moaned softly against her mouth.

"Tasha," You gasped as her fingers traced the waistband of your jeans, her touch burning hot against your skin.

She broke the kiss, her eyes dark and hooded. "Yes?"

"I want you."

"I'm yours."

Her lips crashed against yours, and her hands fumbled with the button of your jeans, her touch making your skin tingle.

"Tasha, we can't Claire's here." You reminded her between kisses.

"She's playing," Natasha muttered, her fingers finally popping the button. Before either of you could ponder her statement, the front door opened. In a flash, Natasha was in the kitchen, pushing the rest of the groceries into the fridge as you attempted to gather your bearings. She was so fast.

"Hello?" Sam's voice called from the foyer.

"We're in the kitchen," You answered, closing the laundry room door and ensuring it was locked.

Sam walked into the kitchen, his suit jacket draped over his arm and his tie loosened. "Hey," he smiled. "I thought I'd surprise you guys."

"Well, it worked," Natasha laughed.

"Sorry, I forgot my lunch. I'll grab it and head out," Sam said, moving past the two of you. He glanced between you, his gaze lingering on your face.

"I'm going to finish the dishes," You murmured, turning away.

Sam stopped and frowned. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," you lied, forcing a smile. "Just feeling a little tired."

"You should rest," Sam stepped closer to you. "Have a cup of tea?

"I will."

"Good," Sam leaned forward and kissed your cheek. "Love you."

"I love you too," You said, the words coming out automatically. Sam lingered, landing another sweet kiss on your lips.

Natasha looked over her shoulder at you, her expression unreadable. "Sam, before you go, can I ask a favor?"

"Of course."

"Can I borrow a screwdriver? We're working on the deck chairs, and one of the bolts keeps slipping," She explained, her voice surprisingly steady.

"Sure, no problem," Sam said, digging through a drawer. He pulled out a screwdriver and handed it to Natasha. "Here you go."

"Thanks," Natasha smiled. "Oh, and before I forget, I'll have those pictures of Claire for you next week."

"Thanks," Sam replied. "And thanks for keeping them company."

"My pleasure," Natasha grinned.

"Okay, I'm heading back out. See you later, baby," Sam kissed you once more before disappearing into the foyer. The front door opened, then shut, leaving the house strangely empty.

"That was close," Natasha said, her voice barely above a whisper.

You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. "Yeah, it was," you agreed. "But it was worth it."

"Do you regret it?"

"No," you said without hesitation.

"Me neither," She murmured, stepping closer.

You leaned into her, resting your head against her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. "Tasha?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being there. For being my friend. For just being...you."

Natasha hugged you, her arms wrapping around your waist and her chin resting on your head. "Anytime," she said softly, and you knew she meant it.

*****

Drive-In Night was interesting. It's a couple's night, truly. The four of you would get together and watch whatever movie was playing. This time, it was How to Marry A Millionaire. You all piled into Steve’s car, a vintage Chevy that seemed as timeless as its owner. It was a tight fit, but no one complained. The air buzzed with the crowd's excitement as headlights flickered across the makeshift parking lot of the drive-in theater.

Natasha sat into the passenger seat, leaning her elbow out the window, her eyes scanning the packed lot with a subtle smirk. “I’m impressed, Rogers. Didn’t think you’d show up for something so… pink.”

Steve laughed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “What can I say? I’m broadening my horizons.”

From the backseat, you chuckled. “You mean Natasha dragged you here, didn’t she?”

“Guilty,” Steve admitted, glancing sideways at Natasha, who simply shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like Sam and I had a choice.”

Sam, beside you, snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Real gentlemen, right?” He stretched his arm along the back of the seat, pulling you closer. “But hey, don’t think I’m above enjoying a rom-com. I’ve got range.”

Natasha tilted her head back, laughing. “Sure, Wilson. You’ll be crying by the second act.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Sam fired back, grinning.

You rolled your eyes fondly. They constantly bickered like this, but it was good-natured. You could tell they were friends. Real friends.

The movie began, and the warm glow of the screen washed over the car. The plot unfolded with charm, full of meet-cutes, sassy best friends, and conveniently timed rainstorms. It wasn’t bad, but you couldn’t help but notice Sam shifting every so often, clearly restless.

“Alright,” Sam announced midway through a particularly swoony montage. “Steve, snacks?”

Steve glanced at Natasha, who was far too engrossed in the movie to notice him leaving. “Yeah, good idea. You girls want anything?”

You and Natasha exchanged a look. “Popcorn,” you both said in unison.

Sam and Steve left the car, their silhouettes fading into the crowd as they made their way to the concession stand. Moving closer to the front seat, you shifted and settled comfortably against the backrest.

Natasha glanced over her shoulder, a smile playing on her lips.

You smiled back.

The moment passed.

"You're so far away," You whispered.

"I know," she whispered back, her eyes sparkling in the dim light. "Come closer," She whispered. You climbed into the front seat, quickly glancing at the long concession line.

"Is this better?" You asked, settling in.

"Much," she said, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

Your breath caught in your throat.

"You're cute," She said. What she was doing was risky business. While it was dark, anyone with eyes and the guts to look your way could see.

"So are you," You responded.

"I want to kiss you."

"You do?"

"I do."

"I want to fuck you," She said.

Your heart hammered in your chest, the heat between your thighs growing with each passing second. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You leaned in. Her hand rested on your thigh, rubbing you through your skirt. "Tasha," you whimpered.

"Yes, kitten," she whispered.

"We can't"

"Why not?"

"It's too risky."

"No one's looking."

"What about Sam and Steve?"

"They're at the concession stand. And the movie is loud."

"But what if someone hears?"

"We'll be quiet."

"We've never been quiet," You giggled.

"We'll try," she whispered. She knew she didn't have much time. She needed this to happen and fast. Her hand slipped under your skirt, and she felt the dampness of your panties.

"Jesus, you're soaked."

"I can't help it."

"Neither can I."

She slid her hand down, pushed your panties aside, and plunged her fingers inside you. Your hips bucked, and you bit back a moan.

"So tight," She moaned.

"So good," You whimpered. She was an expert by now. She knew your body well and learned how to make you cum.

She fucked you hard and fast, her fingers hitting all the right spots. She was gentle while somehow being able to get you there so quickly. You couldn't moan or tell her how close you were. You couldn't even thrust into her fingers. You could only sit there and take it. Your face remained natural even as you closed your eyes. The pleasure was too intense, and you wanted to focus on it. You wanted to savor every second.

When you came, you bit down on your lip, drawing blood. Natasha watched you come undone under her hand.

"You are perfect," She whispered, leaning in and kissing your cheek. You were a trembling mess.

"Tasha," You breathed, trying to catch your breath.

"I can't wait to do that again," She said.

"Me too."

She kissed your cheek once more before sitting back.

You were her best secret.

[wvbaandtheboys]

DREAMESCAPE: RE-DREAMED EDITION!

forthethirdfuckingtime-

Hey punchy peeps, yup it's me again I present to y'all my pride and joy, the Dreamescape AU! This time, redone with an idea I originally discarded when I was first making the AU, but I ended up using for the revamped version! Let's get into the ✨ lore ✨

THIS AU DEALS WITH DARK THEMES! BE CAREFUL TRAVELLERS!

This AU takes place in the span of the 1920s. The Macs live with their single father, Jerome/Doc Louis, having a docile and normal life. Their father works tirelessly to provide for his sons, being a middle class worker. With familiar faces surrounding their everyday lives, the family is content and lives out their days in joy. However, over a tense and perplexing time span, many people in their community begin to pass away unexpectedly with little to no closure on some of their deaths. Hysteria rises amongst the townsfolk; hysteria of a supernatural curse of well known origin, rooted in folklore, that threatens the adult population. And by proxy, the children of the town.

It is the Constellation of Shadows. An arachnoid, nightmarish entity that targets children through the adults in their lives. It invades the dreams of adults while they sleep, and takes them into its dark abyss of a web. It then mutates them, reforms them for its own purposes. Then unleashes them like wild animals to murder the children in their sleep.

Very few families have survived the Constellation's insatiable hunger for terror and demise: there are only two documented survivors of the Constellation throughout the years. Those families were never the same, suffering long term effects that led to either tragedy within them, or them disappearing from the town, never to be seen again. Hysteria once again breaks out, with the message to stay awake and alert at all costs and protect your children, as the Constellation cannot attack if you are not asleep or drowsy. However, it was only so long before the Louis household succumbed to exhaustion, and entered a deep slumber.

However, there is one hope. Father Dream. Father Dream is another folklore figure who, once upon a time, constantly did battle with the Constellation in order to uphold the safety of all dreamers. However, the feast of fear supplied to the Constellation allowed it to best Father Dream and trap him within his own seemingly unending slumber. However, Father Dream was still in control of some of his power. He blesses Mac with a special ability: the ability to resurrect the dead. Now, the Macs must face monsters of familiarity in order to make it out alive. And, in order to rescue their father before he suffers the same fate as the adults before him did. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ With the lore out of the way, let's learn about those adults: WII:

Joe - Chef (27)

Kaiser - Clockmaker (52)

Disco - Radio Show Host (25)

Hippo - Tribal King (50s to Early 60s)

Hondo - Photographer (33)

Hugger - Game Warden (44)

Tiger - Illusionist (31)

Don - Fisherman (26)

Aran - Dockworker (27)

Soda - Ice Cream Parlor Owner (41)

Bull - Priest (40)

Macho - Singer (30)

SUPER PUNCH OUT:

Gabby - Librarian (62)

Hurricane - Meteorologist (29)

Bob - Homeless (36)

Dragon - Lead Dragon Dancer (25)

Muscle - Doctor (37)

Heike - Unemployed (16)

Mad Clown - Clown (obviously shjsjs) (30)

Narcis - Nobleman (31)

Hoy - Retired Teacher (83)

Rick and Nick - Tailors (R - 28, N - 29)

Now, how did all of them meet their untimely demises? TRIGGER WARNINGS: DEATH, WRITTEN DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE/GORE, SUICIDE. PLEASE TAKE THIS INTO ACCOUNT WHEN READING FURTHER ON! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ WII: Joe - No one heard from him for a good while since his restaurant was suddenly closed, so it eventually drew the attention of police. When they went in, they found him in the basement of the restaurant, slumped against one of the walls and clearly long dead. He appeared to die clutching a kitchen knife in his hand. He represents Ataxophobia.

Kaiser - Kaiser’s somewhat anti-social personality did put some off from checking in on him too frequently, but they knew he was in and working when they heard the ticking of the clocks within his workshop. Concern arose when the ticking stopped. When concerned folks went inside the old man’s shop to check on him, They found him sprawled out on the floor, stiff. He was surrounded by clocks, all had their hands frozen at the hour of midnight. He represents Chronometrophobia.

Disco - Way too suddenly did Louie Brown's show get taken off the air. An announcement was made in the newspapers shortly thereafter that the host had passed away. Though they didn’t release details, he was found to have cords of recording machinery taut around his neck, still seated in the recording booth. And with the recording machine on, but thankfully not on the air. He represents Sedatephobia. Hippo - Hippo and his people (women, men and children alike) were quite sociable with the public. Seeing as they weren’t native to the town and after a great tragedy for the tribe, the king seemed to have a certain desperation to be accepted and gain a new home, considering what happened to them. However, the Hippoans were extremely generous and shared their culture with the townsfolk. But, they all just… vanished one day. It was presumed that perhaps Hippo had tried to guide them to live elsewhere, but no one can say for sure what happened to them. He represents Anthropophobia.

Hondo - Though nothing was visibly perturbing about him, laid on either a couch or his bed, his camera was in close proximity. When the photos recently taken on it were printed out, they showed cryptic, vignetted images of Hondo at angles that appeared as though another person had taken it. Though there were no signs that another person had ever been there. He represents Photophobia.

Hugger - He said he just felt tired, and was going to take the winter months to rest. No foul play, no signs of injury, no nothing. He just appeared to have passed in his sleep. He represents Nyctophobia.

Tiger - He was found with red scratch marks all over, which were initially thought to be self inflicted. However, the cleanliness of his fingernails and the angles of the markings made it almost seem like… something was trying to escape from his own body. He represents Rhabdophobia.

Don - He and his wife, Carmen, had been out all day on a lengthy fishing trip. Even when dusk had arrived and fog had started rolling in, the couple still hadn’t returned. Their fishing boat that came floating back to shore, belongings and equipment still on it, but they were nowhere to be seen. He represents Thalassophobia.

Aran - The last his coworkers saw of him, they say he was quietly sitting on the docks with his legs hung over the water. Something he readily instructed others to never do. The very next morning, he was gone. They never found him. He represents Megalohydrothalassophobia.

Soda - When the cold months came over the town, his charming little ice cream parlor closed for the winter as he said he was going to go for a trip to the mountains. After the winter was over, with no word or sign of the man, concern also arose for him. They discovered him a while after. He was completely encased in frost despite the warmth returning. He represents Cryophobia.

Bull - The toll of the church bells at night brought a sense of dread over all that heard it. He was found knelt in a praying pose at the front of the chapel. He was already dead, clutching the jewel of the necklace he wore in his hands. He represents Theophobia.

Macho - The singer known as “Deep Blue” by his many adoring fans had a dark cloud over his head. A rumor mill had churned much devastating gossip regarding his personal life. Some even say it drove him mad. Regardless of the true motive, the performer was found with a slit throat. Some suspect it was a suicide, as the letter opener that cut his throat was in his own hand. He represents Scopophobia.

SPO:

Gabby - Even though he was getting on in years, Gabby always said that there was never a time he felt alive, even since his youthful years, due to the plethora of health issues he had developed over the course of his life ever since he was born. “I don’t recall the last time I ever felt young and spry, if I even did in the first place. So, getting old really doesn’t feel any different.” As such, it was a well known rumor that Gabby read many books to cope, to feel some kind of whimsy in his ever shortening life. He was found dead in his sleep at his desk, an open book beside him. He represents Gentrophobia.

Hurricane - A thriving meteorologist, he loved the experiences of being up in the sky on hot air balloons. On an unsuspecting day during a storm, he suddenly fell unconscious mid flight. A bolt of lightning struck the hot air balloon he was riding and sent him crashing into a building. He died on impact. He represents Astraphobia.

Bob - An impoverished homeless man, he often wandered about with cigarettes on hand. He secluded himself far away from others while he smoked. No one has a clue what really happened to him, as he was discovered lying in the mud. However, it was suspected that he had asphyxiated. He represents Homichlophobia.

Dragon - The dragon dancer troupe traveled to the town from Hong Kong during Lunar New Year. He piloted the head of the dragon during the ceremony. How sadly ironic that such misfortune followed a dance meant to bestow luck. He was discovered slumped in a chair in the dressing room made for the dancers, with the headpiece of the dragon over his body.. and his own decapitated head in his hands. He represents Atychiphobia. 

Muscle - He was alone one night, and that was all that it took. He was discovered in the morning with slit wrists, surrounded by blood soaked gauze. He may have tried to save himself. He represents Hemophobia.

Heike - The once aspiring dancer faced the Constellation's wrath despite being a child himself as well. His limbs were bloody and twisted, yet he still held his signature fan in his hands, and wore his signature performing kimono. He represents Pistanthrophobia.

Clown - The circus was never the same without him. His face was painted half and half with his two circus personas: Serenata the Opera Singer, and Burlone the Jester. He represents Coulrophobia.

Narcis - For the short period of time that night, while his servants were not overseeing him, the Constellation struck. Though efforts were made to enter his bedroom as the realization dawned that he was in danger, the door did not budge until it was too late. He was found with the skin of the left half of his face completely removed. On his fractured bureau, there was a message written in his blood: “The beauty of my heart was never reflected in my face." He represents Cacophobia.

Hoy - The death of the dragon dancer deeply wounded the old man, as he was quite close to him. He died of a broken heart. (Broken Heart Syndrome) He represents Philophobia.

Rick and Nick - It seemed like death wanted to keep them together forever. They were discovered seated on chairs next to each other, their left hands sewn together. It was noted that when there was effort to cut the thread, the fingers of the brothers would twitch violently. They represent Thanatophobia.

[banamine-bananime]

furiously in love, as in i'm furious about it - Chucker fanmix

the playlist itself isn't in chronological but the tracklist below the cut is. yes i did paste in the entire lyrics of night watch. it's because it's them okay the entire song is just deleted chucker dialogue with foreshadowing made to make me specifically cry

Night Watch - Naethan Apollo

Yo bro, I got a question Yeah, what up? Do you think you would die for me? What kind of question is that? I don't know! We're out on this night watch all night - (oh my God) We've gotta pass the time somehow So, spill the beans

Would you die for me? Come on I don't know I don't really like thinking about dying! Wow, after all we've been through together, huh Alright, fine, I'll say this:

I got one too many things I wanna do before I die Way too many friends who didn't make it back alive I got three or more scenarios, I shouldn't have survived But, dying for a friend is a hell of way to die

I'll be okay with dying if I can go my own way While I'm fighting for the people back at homebase I will battle all night If I live to see the morning, good for me I'll still be kicking through the whole day I won't take no for an answer You'll get back home, I am damn sure And if my life is on the line, that's a bet I'll take I hope the devil is a really good dancer

You really mean that, man? I mean yeah, of course What about you? Would you die for me? Oh, hell no! Absolutely not! Wow, okay, well, I pour my heart out to you and - (what?) You're an asshole (what? I'm agreeing with you!) Shut the fuck up - (I'm stronger!) - literally shut up, I don't - (listen, I'm the better fighter!

-no, I don't wanna hear - Oh my god, don't - (if one of us is going to die, it should be you!) Don't - (we're on the same page) Don't talk to me for the rest of the night - (what's the problem) (Bro, you're, it's just smart tactics) - eat your-, eat your fucking rations, leave me alone - You want the strongest person on the team to be alive! Remember when I said, "Shut the fuck up" and then you didn't, you kept talking? I just don't get what you're upset about [sarcastic] I don't know, maybe the fact that my best friend would let me die!

in my brain-amv this is a dream tucker has after s13, in which alpha is the one with the bolded lines and tucker is the one pouring his heart out, back in blood gulch but with dreamlogic making tucker much more of who he is at present (hence "way too many friends who didn't make it back alive, three or more scenarios i shouldn't have survived" and also, you know, being the one that's more capable of emotional sincerity).

then tucker wakes up and remembers this is an altered version of a conversation he did have with alpha when bored as fuck in blood gulch. with roles reversed from what actually happened because he wishes he could go back and say that to alpha rather than having to remember both alpha and epsilon dying by self-sacrifice

👍👍👍 im doing great why do you ask. fucking help me

okay heading back in time to blood gulch to progress chronologically through the rest of the songs:

My Best Friend's Hot - The Dollyrots

My best friend's hot My best friend's hot No matter what I do you love me not Woah oh oh, woah oh oh Na na na na na not You love me not

Na na not, na na not, na na not, na na not Na na not, na na not, na na not, na na not Should I tell you now, Or go oh oh oh

Let's Be Friends - Emily Osment

Don't you wanna Don't you wanna Don't you wanna know What it would feel like?

Let's be friends so we can make out You're so hot, let me show you around

LIFE'S A BIT - NOAHFINANCE

Gotta find another way to make myself confess Moral of the story: I'm a bit of a dickhead If I dive too deep get lost in the deep end Get myself out and try not to regress I hate to say that I don't know But goddamnit I guess I'll say that I don't know Guess I'll find another way to tell you that I suppress Every emotion I'm meant to express

So many ways that I could say it So why can't I even think of one? Just say something And break the silence It's not a love song but you're alright

Can I Say Baby - girli

I'm sorta into you What does that make me? I don't wanna be sloppy But I think you're great Wanna call you babe Hope you feel the same?

We argue, we fight We only do it 'cause it's kind of nice We french kiss, we bitch But it's all gonna be alright We say mean things I snub your friends We're bad for each other But it'll all work out in the end

it'll 🙃 all 🙃 work 🙃 out 🙃 in the end 🙃. im losing my fucking mind. you know those songs you have an exact amv play in your mind every time you listen over and over. yeah this is another one for me.

Five Years - Bo Burnham

You're my best friend, I love you (love you) You know me and I know you (know you) We got problems that we've been through (been through) We got shit that we'll get through, uh You think I'm rude to you You think I am the worst Because I ask when you suck my dick You take out your Invisalign first Come on

Five years, five years Still you, still me, still here Five years, five years, baby Five years, five years

We order Chinese, I'm eating my dumplings You reach over and you take my dumpling You don't even say, "Do you mind?" or nothing Why would you assume that you're entitled to a dumpling? So I look at you, you look back at me, like, "What the fuck did I do?" If you really wanted some dim sum, then You really should've gotten some when we put in the order You say, "You're a psycho and I-I don't wanna fight So, let's just drop this, it's not a big deal" "Okay, but for the record You owe me a dumpling, I mean it, I won't forget You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent"

Speaking Tongues - Joywave, KOPPS

The palms are down, I'm welcomed back to town Sometimes I feel like they don't understand me I hear their mouths making foreign sounds Sometimes I think they're all just speaking tongues

Tell me all the things I've missed Who's been killed and who's been kissed (Drag me back, collect my thoughts)

They say I'm the only one who can be brave That I am the chosen one But there's no way, I am the only one And there's no one to save If there's nowhere for them to run

meeting epsilon. your boyfriend is dead. you know this. no like actually dead. what? everyone is talking nonsense about ai. actually your boyfriend is alive but not really he's actually a different guy and he doesn't know or like you. also you're still very much the protagonist of an entirely different - and just as annoyingly complicated - story. so have fun with all that 🙃

Doppelganger - Joshua Bassett

I guess I'm not as over you as I thought that I was I saw someone who looked like you at our favorite coffee shop And part of me was hoping we would get the chance to talk I guess I'm not as over you as I thought

Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am I know who you pretend I am

Merry Happy - Kate Nash

Sitting in restaurants Thought we were so grown up But I know now that we were not the people that we turned out to be

Chatting on the phone can't take back those hours But I won't regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be

Dancing at discos Eating cheese on toast Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

reminiscing about alpha

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS - Tyler, The Creator

Are we still friends? Are we still friends? Are we still friends? (Friends, friends) I said, are we still friends? (Friends, friends) Are we still friends? (Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends)

Don't get green skin (green skin), keep contact (keep contact) Don't say, "Goodbye, smell you later" (bye, later) Nah, I can't I don't want to end this season on a bad episode

getting to know epsilon, just before crashing on chorus

Can't Get You Out of My Head - Johnny Goth

I just can't get you out of my head Boy, your lovin' is all I think about I just can't get you out of my head Boy, its more than I dare to think about

Every night Every day Just to be there in your arms Won't you stay Won't you lay Stay forever and ever, and ever, and ever

epsilon peaced the fuck out. "All I wanna do is stand around and talk to my friend, but he's gone now and all I've got is you!"

Don't Look at Me - POORSTACY

Every time, I get buried next to me (next to me) I'm not afraid to call, but I don't like it when you look at me Don't look at me Don't look at me Don't look at me

I go where the wind blows, I can't let go Baby, don't let go, don't wanna be alone Girl, let's stay u (stay up) don't wanna go home

babe wake up epsilon pov song just dropped

Our Perfect Disease - The Wombats

It's always a shock when old friends pass by But with you it's no death in the family

We don't admit it but we never seen eye to eye But it's not through a lack of trying

It was the perfect disease we had Something to argue and scream about Who do I see about contracting it back And locking it somewhere it can't get ripped out?

It was the perfect disease we had And its absence lies a painful fact We all need someone to drive us mad

Don't send a helping hand, I need a battering ram To beat the reasons that I miss you so sorely I didn't say it but we never saw eye to eye Now life is care free and equally as boring

It was the perfect disease we had Something to argue and scream about Who do I see about contracting it back And locking it somewhere it can't get ripped out?

i'm losing my fucking mind part ii

Digital Silence - Peter McPoland

This is the way that it is This is the way that it always will be Something you love turns to something you miss Something you say turns to something you mean

This is the way that I know This is the way and it makes me sick I feel it inside me like a pulse It's starting to slow and the meter dips

Digital style, digital hate Digital god, digital pain Digital violence, digital world Digital boy meets digital girl Digital silence, digital yell Digital heaven, digital hell Digital start, digital end Digital birth, digital death

Ghost - Mystery Skulls

'Cause the world might do me in It's all right cause I'm with friends Cause I'm giving up again It doesn't matter

Time for givin' up the ghost Fuck, it's you I hate the most And there is no guarantee It doesn't matter

This time I might just disappear This time I might just dis This time I might just disappear This time I might just dis

uh oh epsilon

death bed (coffee for your head) - Powfu, beabadoobee

I tried to do my best, but you know that I'm not perfect

I been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health When I leave this Earth, hoping you'll find someone else 'Cause, yeah, we still young, there's so much we haven't done Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son

I wish it could be me, but I won't make it out this bed I hope I go to Heaven, so I see you once again My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

I'm happy that you here with me, I'm sorry if I tear up When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up

UH OH EPSILON

Arms Tonite - Mother Mother

I fell in your arms tonight I fell hard in your arms tonight, it was nice I died in your arms tonight I slipped through into the afterlife, it was nice White light in your arms tonight I lost sight in your arms tonight, it was nice

bye bye epsilon

Baby You're a Haunted House - Gerard Way

I'll be the ghost inside your head when we are through Sometimes you scare me, but I come around to you I'll say hello hello hello hello And I'll find a way to scare you too

Baby, you're a haunted house Better find another superstition We're gonna stay in love somehow 'Cause, baby, you're a haunted house now

You Said You'd Grow Old With Me - Michael Schulte

I'd like to say, "I'm okay", but I'm not I try, but I fall, close my mind, turn it off But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep You've got your peace now, but what about me?

Thought we had the time, had our lives Now you'll never get older, older Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time Getting colder, colder

One last word One last moment To ask you why You left me here behind You said you'd grow old with me

We had plans, we had visions, now I can't see ahead We were one, we were golden, forever, you said But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep You've got your peace now, but what about me?

dr google how to get over the anger at your double dead boyfriend for dying inside your brain

Carlo's Song - Noah Kahan

We listen to, "Only The Good Die Young" And we laugh about its statement We walk in the same direction, but we both got lost And you raged in my impatience

Did you find what you were looking for? Some escape from your skin You know that place you were dreaming of Where all light comes in I hope you know I grew my hair out long And your sister's just fine I keep burning my bridges down Just to keep you alive

[author-a-holmes]

Writerly Questionaire (Tag Game)

@winglesswriter Thank you for the tag! (HERE) I'll leave a blank version of the questions beneath the cut at the end, and tagging forward, with no pressure, to;

@ashen-crest, @world-of-fire-and-flight-admin, @tisiphonewolfe

@talesfromaurea, @withlovelunette, @worldsfromhoney, and anyone else that wants to play, consider this an open tag <3

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

Blimey. I must have been... About seven years old. I'd briefly wanted to be a ballet dancer when I was about five. When I was six, I realised I'd never be able to dance professionally because I'd been born with congential talipes (aka Club feet), so I decided that I wanted to illustrate books. They were always my escape when I was in hospital, or after having an operation and was bed bound.

Eventually, I gave stick figures a bad name. Or maybe I just got old enough to realise that people wrote books, instead of them spawning into existence on the library shelves, but I tried writing my own stories instead, and kind of fell in love. Since then, I've never wanted to do anything else.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Maybe a little. I write what I enjoy reading, so in that sense no, not at all. But I'll also read wider than I'm willing to write. Mainly because I can check out a book I'm not sure of, or that's outside my usual tastes in a day or two.

If I try writing something outside of my favourite things, it's going to take months or my time, or I'm just not going to be invested enough in the themes or the genre, to make the end result good. I respect the craft too much to half-ass a story.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

I've never been compared to another writer, however there are writers I'd love to write more like. Tolkien, is an obvious answer, but I love the subtlety with which he writes his characters.

Another writer I'd love to write more like is @faelanvance. It seems a little trite to say it because she's my best friend, but genuinely, her descriptions and exposition and worldbuilding are so vividly vivacious, and I'm incredibly jealous of her ability to pain a scene with words.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Oh god. In theory, I have a writing desk in my room, but I rarely write in there.

Most of the time, right now, I write on a laptop on the sofa in the living room. Before Covid, I would go out once a week to a local pub, or the local Mcdonalds, grab a table near a power outlet, and write all day, from arounf 10am to 6pm.But the pandemic interrupted that routine, and the price of everything has gone up so much I can't afford to spend all day buying coffee's or a plate of chips to nibble anymore.

Essentially, though, I'll write wherever I'm comfortable.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Music. I have to have music playing while I'm writing. It blocked out all the other distracting sounds, but it also has to be the right music. I prefer music with lyrics, I know many authors don't, but even the lyrics themselves don't really matter because I tune them out. It's something about the rhythm or the pace of the song, that has to be right for the scene.

Or maybe it's the notes. If I writing a sad scene, it has to sound like a sad song, even if the lyrics make it an happy romance genre song. It's a weird thing to try and describe.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

You know, I don't know.

My gut instinct is to say no, mainly because I write fantasy and so I create pretty much everything I write from thin air... but at the same time, life experiances, including where and how you grew up, influence who you are, and who I am influences what and how I create.

So I suppose yes, but I wouldn't say it consciously influences my writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I don't plan my themes in advance, so when I stumble across them they're always a little. Not surprising, per se, but interesting to me to see what my mind's settles on exploring.

"Finding your place in the world", is a common theme I find myself coming back to. Sometimes that includes found family elements, sometimes it's about accepting who you are and being happy with that. I come at it from different angles, but I think it's an important message to reinforce.

The other recuurring theme seems to be running. I've created two characters now, unintentionally, who deal with their problems by running. This one wasn't intentional, and did surprise me when it was pointed out to me, especially as running is something I'm incapable of doing. But maybe that's why it's a concept I keep coming back to.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

My current favourite character is Stella Korazon from my novel Stolen. She's a thief in the world of Moryann, and a lot of fun to write and explore the world through the eyes of.

She's both naive, and world weary, and I enjoy exploring the duality of her character.

I wrote a post about her last week, if you want to know any more about her, and see some artwork I had comissioned of her and Reilly.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Quite a few of them probably, but the most likely is Andric Roche, for his calmness, and his patience. I'm a bit of an anxious mess, so I think Andric and I would get on well.

To pull me out of my shell though, and push my out of my comfort zone, probably Reilly Mosswolf. He's an extrovert, and outgoing, and I need that in my life.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

That's a tougher one. I rarely write a character I truly dislike. Even my "villians" have their own reasons and motivations. I think Indre Larieth, one of the side characters in Stolen is probably my best bet.

Mainly because I think our personalities would clash. She's naturally abrasive, and I don't handle that well. In addition, many of her motivations are fuelled by jealousy, and I struggle to understand or relate to that in real life. So I don't think we'd have any good starting point for a friendly relationship.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

So, I don't like creating characters who are just there with no purpose. So the first thing I tend to do is look at the story I want to tell, and decide which roles I need filling.

Once I know a character's purpose, I can build out from there. I usually start with their parents, because how they were raised, and where they grew up, will influence the people they end up becoming... but I also know where I need them to end up, so I can craft their beginning to match what I need.

For example. Booker Reed, in the Fey Touched Trilogy, I knew I needed him to be quite good at the word play of the court fey. So even though he's adopted at seven, and raised by Lizzy's mum, Maddy, in the Outskirts, away from the fey court, his parents were diplomats to the fey court, and so for the first seven years of his life, he was immersed in that enviroment. It shaped him.

And he didn't lose those skills, because once he saw the way Lizzy was treated, as an outcast, he began using them to out-talk the fey who wanted to target Lizzy.

So he still has those skills, when I need them, for the plot points in the books. Just a small example, but that's usually how I build out most of my characters.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Not that I've noticed, although I sure there are some similarities. I like rooting for the underdog. I also enjoy morally grey characters, although I haven't truly delved into a TRUE morally grey character just yet.

I find the concept of doing the truly atrocious, for either the right reasons, and a reason that is justifiable to you, to be a wholly fascinating character study.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

I tend to picture them as whole people that I've imagined. I do, however, quite often grab a celebrity face claim. They're never 100% accurate, but they're a good visual reference point, and I sort of think of it as "If someone was going to play this character in a tv adaptation, who would I want to cast?"

So the celebrity face claim may not always be 100% accurate, but they're usually close enough for me to be content.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

I honestly can't imagine what my life would be like without it. It's a balm. It's an escape. It's fun. It's a hobby. It's a business venture. It's a way to explore a world of my own creation. I don't know. I don't know why I write, I only know I can't not write. It's my everything.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

While I don't know why I write, I do know why I share my writing, and it's to take someone on a journey.

I remember being stuck in hospital beds, unable to move, but a book could take me a billion miles away, or to a world that didn't exist, to meet creatures of myth and legend.

I want to give that escape, and that joy of discovery, to other people. So the best comment? Is when I can tell I've done that. It's not a specific set or words, or a particular phrase, but when I can read a comment or review, and tell that the person just enjoyed it, that they were able to escape to something fun, or my writing took them to a place that made them happy, that's everything.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I want to be known as a writer, whose stories can take you on a journey, and return you home safe, and happier, than you were when you opened the cover. That's all I want. To share my worlds, and charaacters, and have people love them.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Characters. Character dynamics, Character development, Character ARC's. I put a lot of time into figuring out what a character might or might not do in a situation. To thinking about what they would notice, and what they wouldn't pay attention to.

Even if I, as the author, think there is a better choice, it comes down to whether it's logical or believeable, for the character to react in that way.

There's many things Lizzy does in Changeling that made me facepalm, but they make sense to her, and that's the most important part, imo.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

I don't get a lot of feedback, if I'm going to be honest. Most of the time, people will give me generalised feedback, that the work is good overall. Which is incredibly flattering, but doesn't help me answer a question like this. :D

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I'm incredibly proud of my writing. I feel like it's constantly improving, and that I'm always learning more about not just the craft, but also my ability to implement the things I've learnt since the last time I picked up a pen, or sat at the keyboard.

It's a journey that never ends, and I wish I could live a hundred lifetimes just to keep writing more, crafting more, creating more.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes. First, and foremost, I write for myself. I think, you have to because if you don't love writing, and you're not enjoying the writing you're creating, then there's no joy being infused into the work. I feel like it would become dry, and lifeless, and let's be honest, if you hate what you're doing, why are you doing it?

It's only when I've finished writing, and I begin to think about the publishing of the work, that I begin to look at it from the perspective of "Would others enjoy this?" because that's the editing stage for me. And if I'm at the end of the world, with no one left, then that stage is never going to come.

The first draft is telling the story to yourself. So of course, I'd still be writing if I was the last person alive. I'd probably be writing more.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I think I inadvertently answered this one in the last question. I write for me first and foremost. It's only when it comes to the second draft that I might begin tweaking things, but overall it's still written to cater to something I would enjoy reading.

There's going to be other people in the world who like what I like. That's a statistical inevitability. But if I try writing something I don't like, to cater to other people, then that boredom, or dislike, of the words I'm putting on paper is going to come through in the writing, and then no one is going to enjoy the finished product.

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

[earth4angels]

Can you give us some tea for Cosmic Dancer? U feel like we barely know anything about this version of Jace

He seems like a bit of a fratboy ass

me excited to answer this. (sorry if this is long)

cosmic dancer was written based on the song lovesick by laufey. “god i’m so lovesick, what have you done to me,”

i wrote it with the intention of wanting to write popular athlete jace whose co captain with cregan, who has been his bestfriend since they were in middle school. its based during college, reader is a popular ballet dancer who wants to be accepted to a ballet academy to further advance her professional dancing career. she dreams of being in recitals, plays etc. it’s a story of two people finding love in the peak of their lives, how they react and grow as a relationship but also individual people. jace is a virgin; but he’s no angel, he has done kissing, but nothing more than that. reader is not that innocent either but when it comes to full on sex — she’s inexperienced.

— jace on the other hand is extremely smart, a lil nerd if you ask me but he’s very good in football 🏈 , he’s in a frat house following his family’s legacy (the men) of joining a brotherhood; he’s goofy, stubborn, obnoxious, but he’s also very reserved, he keeps to himself and only trusts very limited people. he has the habit of wanting to fit in with cregan and his other friends to not be left out however he’s more of a talking guy not a “i’ll sleep with you and i’ll dip.” but more of a “maybe a kiss or two, bye.” the best example is he’s more bark than bite. meaning he’ll say things but not act on it due to his commitments. jace is one of those guys that bc of his mother’s history with two marriages he takes relationships seriously, he doesn’t play like that he believes in “if i fall in love and end up in a relationship she will be the one i’ll marry.” it kind of backfires tho bc he’s so committed in wanting to be the best and he’s in the peak of his life rn, close to finishing school, work in the family’s business, take after his mother, so his crush on reader really tests him and makes him grow as a person, a boyfriend, friend, brother, and a son.

— jace fell into a deep crush with reader when he was in her biology class, he found her very charming, fragile, every step she took looked so elegant, so one afternoon after practice he heard mozart playing in one of the classrooms on his way out, he found her, and he stood by the door for an entire hour watching her twirl. the way she leaned over to stretch out the soreness of her feet, he winced at the sight of her toes that began to bleed due to the physical stress her dancing took on her, but he never missed her smile, even if she stumbled, repeated every step over and over, she never failed to smile. and it was something jace can never forget, he admired her beauty, her grace, the way she held herself. he always tried to get her attention, it started with notes, or flowers in her studio desk, she always had people gift her good luck gifts so she figured it was another one of those. when that didn’t work he even tried to pass by her making loud jokes with the hope she would look at him. nothing worked since she’s much more reserved than he is. so when he got the chance to meet her he jumped on it; figuring she would remember him he was a douche (that didn’t work) so when he became himself and opened up a lil more, he figured out she was nothing like any other popular preppy girl. he grew to fall for her even more then.

(pls lemme know if yall are more curious about this ver of jace bc im not planning to do a prequel but rather advance into their growing relationship)

[claudia1829things]

"VANITY FAIR" (2018) Review

“VANITY FAIR” (2018) Review

When I had first heard that the ITV channel and Amazon Studios had plans to adapt William Makepeace Thackeray’s 1848 novel, “Vanity Fair”, I must admit that I felt no interest in watching the miniseries. After all, I had already seen four other adaptations, including the BBC’s 1987 production. And I regard the latter as the best version of Thackeray’s novel I had ever seen.

In the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to watch the seven-part miniseries. In a nutshell, "VANITY FAIR" followed the experiences of Rebecca "Becky" Sharp, the social climbing daughter of an English not-so-successful painter and a French dancer in late Georgian England during and after the Napoleonic Wars. The production also told the story of Becky's school friend and daughter of a wealthy merchant, Amelia Sedley. The story begins with both young women leaving Miss Pinkerton’s Academy for Young Ladies. Becky managed to procure a position as governess to Sir Pitt Crawley, a slightly crude yet friendly baronet. Before leaving for her new position, Becky visits Amelia's family. She tries to seduce Jos Sedley, Amelia's wealthy brother and East India Company civil servant. Unfortunately George Osborne, a friend of Jos and son of another wealthy merchant, puts a stop to the budding romance.

While working for the Crawleys, Becky meets and falls in love with Sir Pitt’s younger son, Captain Rawdon Crawley. When Sir Pitt proposes marriage to Becky, she shocks the family with news of her secret marriage to Rawdon. The couple becomes ostracized and ends up living in London on Rawdon’s military pay and gambling winnings. They also become reacquainted with Amelia Sedley, who has her own problems. When her father loses his fortune, George's own father insists that he dump Amelia and marry a Jamaican heiress. George refuses to do so and thanks to his friend William Dobbin's urging, marries Amelia. Mr. Osborne ends up disinheriting George. However, the romantic lives of Becky and Amelia take a backseat when history overtakes them and their husbands with the return of Napoleon Bonaparte.

I wish I could say that the 2018 miniseries was the best adaptation of Thackery's novel I had seen. But it is not. The production had its . . . flaws. One, I disliked its use of the song "All Along the Watchtower" in each episode's opening credits and other rock and pop tunes during the episodes' closing credits. They felt so out of place in the miniseries' production. Yes, I realize that a growing number of period dramas have doing the same. And quite frankly, I detest it. This scenario barely worked in the 2006 movie, "MARIE ANTOINETTE". Now, this use of pop tunes in period dramas strike me as awkward, ham-fisted, unoriginal and lazy.

I also noticed that producer and screenwriter Gwyneth Hughes threw out the younger Pitt Crawley character (Becky's brother-in-law), kept the Bute Crawley character and transformed him from Becky Sharp's weak and unlikable uncle-in-law into her brother-in-law. Hughes did the same with the Lady Jane Crawley and Martha Crawley characters. She tossed aside the Lady Jane character and transformed Martha from Becky's aunt-in-law to sister-in-law. Frankly, I did not care for this. I just could not see characters like Bute and Martha suddenly become sympathetic guardians for Becky and Rawdon's son in the end. It just did not work for me. I have one last problem with "VANITY FAIR", but I will get to it later.

I may not regard "VANITY FAIR" as the best adaptation of Thackery's novel, I cannot deny that it is first-rate. Gwyneth Hughes and director James Strong did an excellent job of bringing the 1848 novel to life on the television screen. Because this adaptation was conveyed in seven episodes, both Hughes and Strong were given the opportunity retell Thackery's saga without taking too many shortcuts. The miniseries replayed Becky Sharp's experiences with the Sedley family, George Osbourne, and the Crawley family in great detail. I was especially impressed by the miniseries' recount of Becky and Amelia's experiences during the Waterloo campaign - which is the story's true high point, as far as I am concerned. Also, this adaptation had conveyed George's experiences during Waterloo with more detail than any other adaptation I have seen.

Aside from the Waterloo sequence, there were other scenes that greatly impressed me. I really enjoyed those scenes that featured the famous Duchess of Richmond's ball in the fourth episode, "In Which Becky Joins Her Regiment"; Becky's attempts to woo Jos Sedley in the first episode, "Miss Sharp In The Presence Of The Enemy"; the revelation of Becky's marriage to Rawdon Crawley in "A Quarrel About An Heiress"; and her revelation to Amelia about the truth regarding George in the final episode, "Endings and Beginnings". There were people who were put off that the series did not end exactly how the novel did - namely the death of Jos, with whom Becky had hooked up in the end. I have to be honest . . . that did not bother me. However, I was amused that Becky's last line in the miniseries seemed to hint that Jos' death might be a possibility in the near future.

The production values for "VANITY FAIR" struck me as quite beautiful. I thought Anna Pritchard's production designs did an excellent job in re-creating both London, the English countryside, Belgium, Germany, India and West Africa between the Regency era and the early 1830s. Not only did I find the miniseries' production values beautiful, but also Ed Rutherford's cinematography. His images struck me as not only beautiful, but sharp and colorful. I would not say that Lucinda Wright and Suzie Harman's costume designs blew my mind. But I cannot deny that I found them rather attractive and serviceable for the narrative's setting.

One of the production's real virtues proved to be a very talented cast. "VANITY FAIR" featured some solid performances from it supporting players. Well . . . I would say more than solid. I found the performances of Robert Pugh, Peter Wight, Suranne Jones, Claire Skinner, Mathew Baynton, Sian Clifford, Monica Dolan, and Elizabeth Berrington to be more than solid. In fact, I would say they gave excellent performances. But they were not alone.

Michael Palin, whom I have not seen in a movie or television production in years, gave an amusing narration in each episode as the story's author William Makepeace Thackeray. Ellie Kendrick gave a very poignant performance as Jane Osborne, who seemed to be caught between her loyalty to her bitter father and her long-suffering sister-in-law. Simon Beale Russell gave a superb, yet ambiguous portrayal of the warm and indulgent John Sedley, who also had a habit of infantilizing his family. Frances de la Tour was deliciously hilarious and entertaining as Becky Sharp's aunt-in-law and benefactress Lady Matilda Crawley. I could also say the same about Martin Clunes, who gave a very funny performance as the crude, yet lively Sir Pitt Crawley. One last funny performance came from David Fynn, who gave an excellent portrayal of the vain, yet clumsy civil servant, Jos Sedley. Anthony Head gave a skillful performance as the cynical and debauched Lord Styne. I thought Charlie Rowe was superb as the self-involved and arrogant George Osborne. Rowe, whom I recalled as a child actor, practically oozed charm, arrogance and a false sense of superiority in his performance as the shallow George.

I have only seen Johnny Flynn in two roles - including the role of William Dobbin in this production. After seeing "VANITY FAIR", it seemed that the William Dobbin role seemed tailored fit for him. He gave an excellent performance as the stalwart Army officer who endured years of unrequited love toward Amelia Sedley. Tom Bateman was equally excellent as the charming, yet slightly dense Rawdon Crawley. At first, I thought Bateman would portray Rawdon as this dashing, yet self-confident Army officer. But thanks to his performance, the actor gradually revealed that underneath all that glamour and dash was a man who was not as intelligent as he originally seemed to be. Amelia Sedley has never been a favorite character of mine. Her intense worship of the shallow George has always struck me as irritating. Thanks to Claudia Jessie's excellent performance, I not only saw Amelia as irritating as usual, but also sympathetic for once.

Television critics had lavished a great deal of praise upon Olivia Cooke as the sharp-witted and manipulative Becky Sharp. In fact, many have labeled her performance as one of the best versions of that character. And honestly? I have to agree. Cooke was more than superb . . . she was triumphant as the cynical governess who used her charms and wit in an attempt to climb the social ladder of late Georgian Britain. I would not claim that Cooke was the best on-screen Becky I have seen, but she was certainly one of the better ones. I have only one minor complaint - I found her portrayal of Becky as a poor parent to her only son rather strident. Becky has always struck me as a cold mother to Rawdon Junior. But instead of cold, Cooke's Becky seemed to scream in anger every time she was near the boy. I found this heavy-handed and I suspect the real perpetrator behind this was either screenwriter Gwyneth Hughes or director James Strong.

I have a few complaints about "VANITY FAIR". I will not deny it. But I also cannot deny that despite its few flaws, I thought it was an excellent adaptation of William Makepeace Thackeray's novel. Actually, I believe it is one of the better adaptations. "VANITY FAIR" is also one of the best period dramas I have seen from British television in a LONG TIME. And I mean a long time. Most period dramas I have seen in the past decade were either mediocre or somewhere between mediocre and excellent. "VANITY FAIR" is one of the first that has led me to really take notice in years. And I have to credit Gwyneth Hughes' writing, James Strong's direction and especially the superb performances from a first-rate cast led by Olivia Cooke. It would be nice to see more period dramas of this quality in the near future.

[twigs-sprigs]

an au in which.. well different outfits that the ninja have had are actually just who they are

okay so i have much to explain so STRAP IN

so i came up with this idea really suddenly like ten million thoughts just hit me in the head, but the main concept is that

the world is actually a post apocalyptic style scenario, there's an "above" new ninjago city, that was built on top of the old overgrown and kind of abandoned old ninjago city (i imagine it having like glowy mushrooms and stuff and having some sort of a pretty factor to it)

i also see this whole world being full of like a multitude of different species with all sorts of wacky features (this is all kinda like years and years after the disaster that destroyed the og ninjago, so it has very cyberpunk-y and modern elements)

let's call it the (PA au. just post apocalyptic for short)

(this has been compared to that one show called arcane before. i. ive never watched arcane. /gen.. so yeah. i know its similar. its a coincidence. i promise. )

now, our characters consist of

kai - aka. the red shogun. (the outfit is prime empire kai, kind of combined with the red shogun outfit from season 4) a villain turned superhero vigilante, who's just doing his gosh darn best, and has a whole team who keeps his back safe! lloyd - aka. GB (prime empire lloyd) a trained mercenary and the leader of a gang that does everything from trading substances, weapons and machines in the black market, to simply bounty hunting. he's an untrustworthy, quiet but sly and feared leader, whos really just a sad and lost kid at heart. people say he takes after his father, but he wouldnt admit that. jay - aka. superstar rockin' jay!! (prime empire jay, ofc) he's a celebrity rockstar both in the above world AND in the undercity. though he mostly spends his time up above. he's still part of kai's vigilante team! nya- aka. THE FREAKIN SEA (seabound nya) she's a part of the sea that decided "fuck it!! we ball!!" and left to see what life on land is all about! she met kai and quickly became really close with him and they became siblings! shes the first member of his team! and she's kind of confused but she's DEFINITELY got the spirit! zane- aka. snake jaguar (the outfit from sons of garmadon) just like kai he's a vigilante, a wielder of ice. he goes undercover in lloyds gang and becomes his right hand man, but gives crucial information to his team, so they can take down lloyd's operation. cole- ROCKY FREAKIN DANGERBUFF, yet ANOTHER member of kai's team, he's from the dangerbuff clan! one of the groups of people who live their lives in the undercity. he's a dancer and a beast hunter, but also a kick ass hero just like the rest of the team! pixal- samurai x!! she's also a hero, that kind of rivals red shogun and kind of doesnt like him at all, but she does get kind of close to one of his team members... if you know what i mean

i will say that ALL the members of the squad still have their elemental powers, i havent yet properly fully thought that part out but i know for sure that they do.

SO YEAH. lloyd is actually kind of the villian for a large part of this au. i tried my best to not change his personality in a way that wouldnt be natural for his character to progress. in my head he grew up kind of sheltered from the outside world entirely. he's not really a... person? he's his role and thats that. he was never really loved by anyone therefore doesnt really know...emotion. all that well. he may act like a bratty teenager from time to time when he's taunting his enemies, but that's just... a character that he's playing up. he really just has no clue what hes doing.

(everything im not saying here is in the little notes i left on the drawings, though they may not be canon since i wrote down concepts and ideas there too)

his dad, garmadon, also is a little different in this au. basically "good" garmadon isnt really a thing (hes basically JUST the version from the oni trillogy). he was the previous gang leader BEFORE lloyd but he vanished and supposedly died. so lloyd had to take his place.

the ACTUAL. REAL VILLAIN of this au is harumi. who, fr. is still just herself. she's also kind of the second in command to lloyd. and she betrays him. and kind of takes the gang all to herself. leaving lloyd to help out the heroes...and finally find a family in the process.

its very emotional in my head and i am so scrambled right now these are the only semi-coherent thoughts.

i would LOVE to talk more about this au. if you have any questions or ideas or ANYTHING really.. do send asks about it... im in such deep brainrot for it and rambling on tumblr is apparently a thing that i do! (who wouldve thunk!)

this au was also made with the help of @shadesofvermillionvoid as USUAL.. so you can send asks there too!!! give kai all the love ever ash deserve it!!

... and to whoever bothered to read all this. wow. thank you! :D i feel very seen

[keanureevesisbae]

sugar sugar - the wedding

Summary: It's Becky and Henry's wedding day 🥰

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Daddy kink, anal play, sex, mention of squirting, overstimulation (just what they usually do lol)

Wordcount: 2.4k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter //

Today is the day. Henry is gonna marry the love of his life. When he kissed her for a short goodbye this morning, he was dragged away by Gino and Peter, who were gonna help him get ready.

Since Becky couldn’t decide who she wanted to be her maid of honor, both of her friends stepped up to the task, which caused Gino and Peter to share the duties of best men as well. He is standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for her to enter. He exchanges a look with Sehun, with whom he became good friends. He loves seeing Becky and her dad reconnect and she actually calls him a lot, even for tasks Henry himself can fix.

For example helping her with building a cabinet or something else she bought from Ikea. Normally she’d turn to Henry, but now she is quick to ask her dad for help and orders Henry , in case her dad asks, to pretend he is too busy with work to help her out.

The two of them are actively working on their bond and it warms his heart to see Becky hug her dad tightly, have their own little inside jokes and simply have the father-daughter relationship she always wanted.

The music changes and Henry looks up from Sehun, only to see Becky in her wedding dress. To describe her as breathtakingly perfect is not even enough. Her long black locks are slightly curled at the bottom of the strands, the dress hugs her in all the right places and the soft smile toying on her lips is enough to make him feel all sorts of things.

To make sure Genevieve wouldn’t nag his head off, he promised her that he would be slightly emotional when Becky would walk down the aisle, however now that she actually is walking towards him, the tears burn in his eyes. He feels the hot tear rolling over his cheek and he is quick to wipe it away.

She holds out her hand and he is quick to take it, helping her up the tiny stairs. ‘Wow,’ he says, ‘you’re gorgeous.’

‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘You look so handsome.’ She places her hand on his chest and smiles. ‘I love you,’ she mouths towards him.

‘I love you too.’

The two of them (and Genevieve) decided that the speech shouldn’t be too long, mostly because Becky said that she hates long speeches that seemed to never end. Henry barely listens anyway, because he is too enthralled, looking at his soon to be wife.

He sure is lucky.

When it’s time for the vows, Becky folds open her paper. She clears her throat a few times, looking up at him.

Oh, look at that, she’s nervous. Henry nods, a simple gesture to encourage her.

‘Growing up,’ she then says, ‘I missed out on a lot and though the dreams of meeting someone, get married and start a life together were what kept me going at the time, deep down I kinda knew it would never happen to me. No love, no care, no someone who would unconditionally show me what affection exactly entailed. Never in a million years did I think I would meet a guy like you.’

Henry squeezes in her hand as he notices the tears burning in her eyes.

‘You’re everything I ever wished for and even more than that. Henry, I know I tell you this a lot, but… Thank you for barging into my life, for completely changing it, for helping me to become a better version of myself, for believing in me and for always loving me. I don’t think I could say that I would be where I am now if it weren’t for you. I love you.’

He brings her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on it, before grabbing his own piece of paper. Shit, he shouldn’t cry, but seeing the things he wants to say to her, is making him slightly teary. ‘Sweet Becky,’ he says, ‘believe it or not, but I accepted the fact that I would die a single man, however you changed my life for the better. I think it started with that sweet smile of yours, when I realized I never ever wanted to live another day without you. The fact it took so long before the two of us finally got together, is all my fault and I totally take the blame for that one.’

She chuckles.

‘I love you, Becky and I promise you I will take good care of you, love you forever and ever and try to be the best husband I can be for you, though you deserve so much better.’

They slide on the rings and when he finally hears the words: ‘You may kiss the bride,’ he doesn’t waste a second before pressing a loving kiss on her lips. Their first kiss as husband and wife.

‘I love you,’ he whispers against her lips. ‘I love you so much, Becky.’

‘I love you too, Henry,’ she says. ‘And I’ll forever do that.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve wouldn’t be Genevieve if she wouldn’t speech at the wedding reception. ‘Okay,’ she says, ‘if I can have your attention, please.’

The seventy guests they invited are all quiet and Genevieve gracefully thanks them.

‘I have known Becky for quite a few years now and let’s just say that she was hitting rock bottom at a very tender age.’

‘Gen,’ Becky says, frowning and pouting a little.

‘I promise you, it’ll be a lovely speech.’ Genevieve clears her throat and says: ‘She was always happy, but there was always this certain… How do I say this? Emptiness to it. Like her life didn’t have the right seasoning. But then this lady met Henry and lemme tell you: I was very jealous at first. Greg, honey, no offense, but damn, I was this close of leaving you.’

‘You and me both, baby,’ Greg chuckles.

‘The thing between these two, was that there was this spark, something they had yet to discover themselves. I mean, the two of them spend Christmas and the universe what other festive days together and didn’t confess their undying love for one another. How oblivious do you want it?’

Becky places her hand on Henry’s and with his thumb of his other hand, he caresses her wedding ring.

‘So, when these two finally admitted their love for each other, they are just disgusting as you can imagine. I hate it, but love it at the same time. You know, our sweet Becky deserves the world and Henry is the only one that comes even remotely close to what she deserves.’

‘Aw, that’s so sweet,’ Becky says.

‘Mister Sehun, kind sir, please cover your ears, because I’m gonna say something about your daughter you might not like.’

‘Gen, I swear to—’ Becky starts, while Sehun covers his ears and that’s when Genevieve says: ‘These two fuck like bunnies and honestly no one can tip to their sex life. I can know, I caught them once, but that’s all I’m gonna say about the matter.’

Becky looks over to Henry, who can’t hide his smirk, because it’s kinda funny. He presses a kiss on her temple and Genevieve gestures to Sehun to uncover his ears, as the rest of the crowd starts to laugh.

‘In conclusion, these two are everything every couple wants to be, but never will be. I’m so forever grateful that Becky found herself a good man and Henry should know that this woman is a once in a life opportunity. No matter how intense and intimidating he looks, I’ll make sure Greg will try and kick your delicious looking ass.’

Becky shakes her head, as she starts to laugh. ‘I appreciate it, Gen. Thank you.’

The afternoon turns into the night and after multiple dances, the married couple stands near the side, admiring the guests dance around. After it turned out that Sehun was a wonderful dancer, Gen and Viola pried him away from Becky to dance with him as well.

Henry wraps his arms around Becky’s waist, pressing a kiss on her temple as he gently sways her on the rhythm of the music. ‘Daddy can’t wait for all those people to go,’ Henry whispers in her ear.

‘And why is that?’ she asks, placing her hands on his.

‘Because I need to show you how much I love you, especially since you’re my wife now.’

‘Your wife,’ she says in a content tone. ‘Sounds amazing, you know?’

‘I can easily get used to it,’ he says. ‘Mrs. Cavill.’

✤ ✤ ✤

The door of their hotel suite has only shut for a second, when Henry says: ‘As gorgeous as you look in your wedding dress, I need you to take it off.’

Becky bats her eyes, as if she doesn’t understand why. ‘Why?’

‘Because you are my wife now and I need you.’ He takes off his tie and throws it to the corner of the room. ‘Fuck, baby, I need you so bad.’

‘Then you need to help me out of this thing, because I can’t reach the back.’

‘My pleasure.’ He unzips the dress and he presses a kiss on her bare shoulder. ‘I love you, baby girl.’

‘I love you too,’ she whispers. ‘I really do.’

Oh, does he love that tone. He turns her around as the dress slides down her body. ‘You’re not wearing a bra, baby girl?’

‘It has cups in it,’ she explains, as Henry explores her body with his hands. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Becky chuckles. ‘Honey, you’ve seen me naked before.’

‘I indeed do,’ he says, ‘but I haven’t seen you naked as my wife yet.’

‘Is it different?’

He nods. ‘In such a good way. I’m so in love with you and your beautiful body. Fuck,’ he mumbles, wrapping his fingers around the waistband of her underwear and pulls it down. ‘We’re married now, baby girl.’

‘I know,’ she chuckles. ‘Daddy, please make love to me.’

‘Make love?’ he asks with a chuckle. ‘I don’t know about that.’

She bites her bottom lip, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. ‘Well, let’s get you out of that suit first, okay?’

✤ ✤ ✤

Henry cannot help but completely worship Becky’s body, even as she shivers next to him on the bed. His chest is covered in her juices, as she squirted all over him as she was riding him. As she is on her stomach, her legs a little shaky and a thin layer of sweat on her back, he opens the bedside table. ‘I brought something, sweetheart.’

‘What is it?’ he hears her ask, while he pulls her up by her hips. She rests on her knees and knows exactly how to arch her back.

Shit, and this woman is his wife now.

‘It’s your favorite,’ he whispers, spreading her ass cheeks apart, brushing the cold tip over her puckered hole. She moans out loud as he slowly pushes it in. ‘Fuck, you take it so well.’ He smacks her bottom and not wasting anymore time, he thrusts his painfully hard member deep inside of her. Her hands clench into fists, as she holds on tightly on the sheets.

‘Daddy, you feel so good,’ he hears her whine. The room is filled with her moans, the nearly obscene sounds of her wet pussy and the slapping of skin against skin.

‘You feel good too, baby girl. Fuck, you’re my wife now.’ He holds tightly onto her waist, before he pulls out and turns her over. He pushes some of her hair out of her face. ‘Mrs. Cavill,’ he says, placing his hand on her cheek.

She chuckles. ‘That’s me.’

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He spreads her legs and pushes himself back into her sensitive hole. Her velvet walls wrap around his hard member and he gives her a kiss.

The night seems endless, but definitely not in a bad way. He watches her fall apart over and over again and she takes shaky breaths, hoping to regulate a bit, as she shudders underneath him.

‘How many times have you cum, baby?’ he asks, stilling his movements, to press a kiss on her cheek. ‘Tell daddy.’

‘F- Fo- Four times.’

‘Want to make that five times,’ he starts, ‘before I fill you up?’

She lets out a dragged moan, pushing her nails in his arms. ‘Please, daddy,’ she begs.

Becky is on the verge of crying as he slowly builds up the speeds of his thrusts. He watches tears running over her cheeks, but he recognizes it. He knows she’s not in discomfort, merely being so sensitive and overstimulated. As long as she doesn’t safe word or he deems it necessary to stop, he will continue.

‘You’re doing so good for me, baby girl,’ he whispers, kissing the tears away. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ she whimpers. ‘You’re amazing.’ He pounds deep inside of her and her moans are becoming louder and more desperate. ‘I can’t anymore, daddy.’

‘Tell me the word and I’ll stop.’

She doesn’t. ‘I’m tired.’

‘That’s not the word.’

Becky wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss. ‘Are you close, daddy?’

‘I am,’ he whispers. ‘Where do you want it? Still inside, darling?’

She nods, while her walls clench around him and that’s when he spills his seed. He buries his face in her neck, his lips salty as he kisses her sweaty skin, whilst riding out his high. He has stilled his movements and asks if she’s okay.

‘Just catching my breath,’ Becky chuckles, clinging against him.

‘Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth, sweetheart.’ She laughs and he gives her a kiss. ‘You did well. Daddy’s proud of you.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve: I think you two forgot I have the room below you in the hotel

Genevieve: Goodness me, how long were you at it?

Viola: Two hours and forty seven minutes

Viola: Yes, I timed, because I had a room above you and even I could hear it

Genevieve: Since we were in on the fun, you should at least give us the details

Becky: No

Genevieve: You’re no fun

Viola: I think this was just a preview of what they are gonna do on their honeymoon

Genevieve: Oh right, the honeymoon on the sex island

Becky: You guys…

Viola: The NAKED honeymoon on the sex island

✤ ✤ ✤

Becky’s wedding dress

[dorotharry]

tiny dancer ; chapter three

Pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 4 (coming soon)

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: pain, angst, nightmares, metal limbs?

Summary: After being drafted for the war in 1942, Bucky goes to the ballet a week before having to leave with his best friend Steve. There he becomes infatuated you with the prima ballerina of the show, and he just has to meet you before his last week in Brooklyn is up. He hopes one day you would meet again; little does it know it will be 72 years later.

A/N: Well, hello again, honestly after yesterday I really wanted to write again soon so I could start giving more away. Eep so exciting, thank you again for all your support too!! Please feel free to like, repost and comment any feedback, it’s much appreciated :)) Also lets just ignore that infinity war is a thing for the moment lolz. 

MY MASTERLIST

*gif not mine

“Nice to finally meet you y/n, I’ve been looking for you under Fury’s instruction for a while, my name’s Natasha.”

Natasha. It rang in your ears, there was some familiarity to that name. You kept your face blank, but for some reason it felt like you’d known her in a past life, or perhaps a life you didn’t remember. Though her face gave no indication that she knew either. But a younger version of her face flashed in your mind, only she wasn’t blonde she had bright red hair. You shook yourself from your thoughts, Natasha was a common name, surely you couldn’t know her. Surely.

“Come in,” you responded moving to the side as the women eyed you as she entered. She had to be around a similar age to you. At least in looks, you were at least a century year old in reality. “Did you want something to drink?” You said as you shut the door and gestured to the couch nearby.

The blonde shook her head, taking a seat her gaze still wary. “You’re probably curious to know why I’m here and who I am?”

You nodded as you took a seat on the second couch, it wasn’t often you had visitors.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of the Avengers,” She started.

That’s where you knew her from! She’d swapped her red hair for blonde and suddenly you felt less confused.  

“I’m a part of it, and our director Fury has been sending me on mission after mission looking for you. It’s only now we got a tip that you were living in Madripoor.”

You almost wanted to interrupt and ask who had tipped them off, but you thought better of it. You rose an eyebrow at her comment, giving her an expression that told her to continue.

“Anyway, I’m here because we wanted to bring you back to the compound. You’ve been hidden away from us for a long time. In fact, the only reason we know you exist is because of the HYDRA files I shared in 2014. We hoped you could give us some intel; we think something big is going to happen again, but we aren’t sure if it’s HYDRA or something else.” She looked at you again, a serious expression on her face.

Yours matched hers. “You should know I don’t do that anymore, I don’t work as an assassin,” you began suddenly feeling more vulnerable as the terrible things you had done came back up in your memories.

Natasha cut you off sensing your distress. “We aren’t asking you to, we just need your knowledge. Whilst I know Fury wants you to join us in the long run and start fighting again, we also respect your decision not to if that’s what you want.”

You looked at her sceptically, had she not heard what you had just said? Plus, now your cover in Madripoor was blown, if the Avengers knew where you were then surely it wouldn’t be long until every other government in the world would too. You were sure there were many people who wanted you dead.

As if she had heard your thoughts Natasha spoke up again, “don’t worry, if you turn down helping us, no one but Fury and I know you’re here. Not even Steve.”

You silently gasped, you had forgotten about Steve in these brief moments, he was captain America back then, in fact he was still Captain America. Even if you would be throwing yourself back into the line of fire, maybe it would be worth it to see your old friend again. Would he want to see you though? After everything awful thing, you had done. Your eyes began to well again, but you didn’t want Natasha to see you vulnerable.

“Fine.” You spoke sternly looking at the woman in front of you, “I will help, but only if you promise that you avengers will protect me. There’s a lot of people who want me in chains.”

You could see the hint of a smile on her face as she listened, “Don’t worry y/n, we have ways around that,” she smirked. “I don’t exactly have the cleanest record either.”

You nodded, standing up. You knew now if you were leaving that you could never return to Madripoor. If you chose not to fight with the Avengers after helping them, then at least you were sure they could protect you and finally you could maybe be back home. “Where to then?”

Natasha told you to get anything valuable, some clothes and anything else you felt you needed. Luckily for her, you always kept a duffle bag with everything you needed if you had to leave under you bed, along with the shot gun that had been in your hand this entire time till.

You walked to your room, grabbed the duffle bad and your other favourite weapons in another bag and returned in under a minute. Natasha let out a chuckle, she should have known an assassin was always prepared to flee. Something they all knew, never get too comfortable.

Natasha led you out of your apartment, you close the door behind you both and follow her. It felt strange to be taking from directions from anyone else. Besides HYDRA you had always been the person in charge, choosing what you did without direction. But unless you miraculously knew how you’d be getting back to the Avengers compound this seemed like a time you would have to not be stubborn.

She led you to a jet, gesturing you to get on before she did herself. She walked to the front closing the door and sitting in the pilot’s seat. “Feel free to have a sleep.” She said casual pointing to the bed next to you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled going and lying down. After having no sleep, you wouldn’t complain, and it would save you having to make small talk with Natasha. Plus, usually you didn’t have nightmares in you ever occasionally napped.

Natasha answered a call and began telling someone (who you assumed was Fury) that you were coming back with her, just as your eyes were filled with the darkness of sleep.

1943

You woke up once again your entire body in pain. Although this time it was different, and though you remembered where you were much of your memories were feeling fuzzy. Like someone had attempted to begin removing them.

That couldn’t be possible though, could it?

There was an ache on your face, remembering your last memory before you had been engulfed in darkness again. You were sure there would be marks from whatever machine had done that to you, wincing at the thought of the pain again.

But besides there being the same pains you had felt before, there was something different. You were still restricted by your arms and legs in the same position but now you had a heart monitor attached, the faint beeping being the only noise you could hear in the silent and dark room. This wasn’t a room though, it was a lab you knew that now, and you were a lab rat to the red skull and his scientists. Why would they care if my heart is still beating? You pondered.

Once again you pushed against your restraints in an attempt to get out, the leather digging into your skin causing you to wince due to how in pain your body already was.  But again as you’d thought earlier, there was something different, yes your arms were wincing at the pain from the leather but your legs felt nothing. You moved your toes and felt no sensations. It was as if they were numb. What had HYDRA done?

As if on cue the laboratory door opened, the same scientist from before entering and two soldiers following behind him. The door slammed closed as the soldiers stayed there on each side of the door. Just in case you got out of your restraints again.

The scientist shuffled forward. “How are you feeling y/n? I realised I forgot the other day to introduce myself, I’m Arnim Zola but you can call me Doctor Zola.”

You sneered as his friendly attitude, causing him to frown. “I can’t feel my legs.” You responded in a harsh tone, “Why?”

“Well y/n, I told you that you would become a soldier for the red skull did I not? Now I understand you’re a ballerina but there’s something wrong with this. You see you always want to be perfect, and what makes you not is among many things your feet.” He looked down proudly at your legs.

The words rang in your ear. Your harsh glare to seem mean had softened as your eyes began to water. “Wh-- what have you done?” You began blubbering, your chest fell up and down panic striking your lungs.

“I’ve made you perfect.” He responded without remorse. Instantly he signalled for the men that had been stood by the door this entire time to come over. They did so, grabbing parts of your body so you were even more restricted that you already were as Doctor Zola walked to the foot of the table you were on. Slowly he undid one of the leather straps restricting your leg. You couldn’t even feel him doing it, your senses not working.

He lifted your right leg so that you could gaze down and what you saw only made your panic attack rise. You shrieked at the sight before you. Your eyes welling more and more with tears. You could hear the heart monitor beginning to pick up in noise, as you heart raced.

From halfway down your calf was what looked like a metal leg and foot. It looked exactly like what legs should be, but it wasn’t. It was silver and cold. Down the side of your calf nearing your ankle was a red star.

Tears rolled down your face as he placed your leg back down strapping it back up, then signalling the men holding you down to move away again.

You would have preferred to die then lose your feet. Your mind wandered as your chest rose and fell so quickly that the world around you began to spin. Would you ever be able to dance again?

Doctor Zola was now next to you again, his face held no remorse, in fact all you could see was pride. Even though the world was spinning, and you couldn’t focus on him you knew he didn’t care. “Don’t worry y/n, after today you won’t care about this. You won’t even remember who you are, only who we tell you are. From now on you aren’t y/n anymore. I’ll see you again when you’re ready to comply.”

The same machine from earlier then began to make noises lowering down to your head. Doctor Zola began rambling Russian words you couldn’t understand, the immense pain began again, and you screeched out in pain.

Present day; 2017

Gasping for air you shot up on the bed on the jet. Natasha looked back at you and instantly you dropped your fearful expression into one that was unreadable. No one would know your nightmares, no one could know you had weaknesses.

Luckily her gaze didn’t last long as she spoke up, “We’re here.” She was just glad she wouldn’t have to wake you up. She stood up, you following her lead out of the jet and towards a large white building with a big ‘A’ on the side.

“Jeez subtle.” You scoffed muttering under your breath.

She rolled her eyes at your comment but proceeded to walk into the building. “I’m sure you’ve heard about most of us. So, I feel there’s no need to explain to you, our names.”

She was right there, of course you knew their names, the whole world did. You hummed in response. She led you both to two big double doors pushing them open as you trailed behind. You may have been as assassin but that didn’t mean you were particularly keen on meeting new people, especially all at once. It took a while for people to come to your liking.

She stopped and you stood almost completely behind her looking down at your hands. You never looked at your feet anymore. The noise of all the voices talking amongst each other suddenly stopped and you could feel all of their eyes on you both.

“Everyone this is y/n, she’s going to help us with our current task we’ve been working on.” She spoke sternly but giving them all a small smile.

You raised your head reminding yourself to not be vulnerable and narrowed your eyes as you scanned them all. Of course, most of already knew who you were having read your files when she released them; each giving you sympathetic looks mixed with fear. But not Steve he never had the heart to look at yours and Bucky’s files. If he ever saw you both again, he knew in time you’d tell him.

Finally, you were met with a familiar set on blue eyes, not the ones you had fallen in love with but still ones who once meant so much to you. Now you weren’t so sure.

Steve looked like he was going to die of shock, as he stared at you with such intensity.

He took a step towards you, “y/n?”, his eyes searching for you to show some sort of emotion. But you didn’t, you couldn’t. You took another step back, away from him, the hurt instantly flashing across his face, but as soon as it was there it was gone.

“Hi Steve.”

- 

A/N: ooo we love the tension. how does reader know Natasha?? is it just cause she's an avenger or is it something else? I’ll guess you'll have to see *evil face*

P.S. we’ll see Bucky again soon I promiseeeee

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Taglist: (let me know if you want to be tagged)

@maybe-a-marvel​ @thatredlipped-classic​ @flightsandfantasy​ @7minutes-tomidnight​ @rebelemilu​ @cataves​

[fruitcoops]

Eve, I LOVE binging your masterlist. I was wondering if I could request a short lil story where someone reminds Jules that since Remus + Sirius got married, then Sirius and Reg are his brothers now too and Jules gets really excited about having TWO more older brothers after Coops' wedding? If not, totally fine!! Have a great year!!

Part 2 of the Coops Wedding series! It’s finally here after my computer was possessed and deleted the first version--this one is just over 4k words, so I hope that makes up for the delay! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

Preparations II Part 1

Remus had never been much of a dancer—despite his speed on the ice, he had two left feet and only the barest hint of rhythm. However, dancing at his wedding was a different story.

Sirius twirled him in a small circle, smiling from ear-to-ear as their friends and family spun around them to the beat blasting through the speakers. They still had three hours until sunset, and Remus was planning on spending every second of it with Sirius’ hand in his own. He pulled him in for another kiss—our tenth today? Twentieth? One hundredth? Who cares—and pulled away with a laugh as Jules and Katie bumped into the backs of his thighs.

“Watch it!” he called, ruffling Jules’ hair as they passed in a dramatic tango. Katie shrieked with giggles as Dumo swept her into his arms, spinning her around with a broad smile. Hope took Jules’ hands while Phil Collins began to sing about love, happiness, and everything Remus was already holding in his arms.

“Hey!” Sirius said over the music, giving Remus a squeeze.

“What?”

“I love you!”

“I hope so!” Remus laughed, spinning Sirius under his arm before reeling him in to bump their noses. “Not bad for a wedding we planned in six weeks, eh?”

Sirius shook his head, grinning. “We were engaged for ten months. How did we put that off for so long?”

“Because we’re busy all the fucking time.”

“We’re not going to be busy for three whole months,” Sirius said giddily as he picked Remus up a few inches with ease. He paused for a moment, scanning his face as if he was trying to memorize it.

“What’re you thinking about?” The were close enough that Remus hardly had to raise his voice above a murmur.

“We get to do this every day for the rest of our lives.”

His words hit Remus like a semitruck of affection and tears prickled his eyes as he leaned down for a kiss; Sirius set him down to kiss him properly, hands gently bracketing his jaw. “You are the most incredible person,” Remus said against his lips. “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“I could ask you the same.” Sirius smiled and rested their foreheads together. “Come on, I think Celeste wants to cut the cake soon.”

Remus looked over at the folding table on the other side of the dance floor and stifled a laugh; Celeste, in her pretty blue party dress, was adjusting the cake by millimeters and glanced at her watch every few seconds, as if she was afraid people were going to leave. “I’m dying to know what she eventually decided on for the flavors.”

Sirius hummed his agreement and pulled Remus along by the hand—they didn’t even have to say anything before the rest of the small crowd followed them and gathered around the table. “Wait, wait, wait!” Celeste gasped, taking her phone out of Dumo’s pocket. After a few seconds of quiet, she nodded and centered it on them. “D’accord.”

“Ready?” Remus set his hand on top of Sirius’ and the hilt of the knife, pushing slowly down as it cut through the white frosting in a smooth glide. It was perfectly baked; not a single crumb stuck to the blade as they pulled it out.

“Here we go,” Sirius muttered as they took the first piece out. “Vanilla!”

“Orange, actually,” Celeste said, beaming. “The next layer is chocolate.”

“Celeste.” Remus gave her a tight hug before passing her along to Sirius, who bent down so she could kiss his cheek.

“Merci, maman,” he said quietly. “C’est parfait.”

“Surprise!” She did little jazz hands before handing them two forks from the end of the table. “Oh, this is so exciting. You have to try it, I don’t know if it’s good. I’ve never made an orange cake before.”

“Hurry up, Cap, we’re hungry!” Logan called from the back of the crowd. Sirius pulled a face at him and carefully slid the piece onto a paper plate before linking his elbow with Remus’.

Remus took a forkful of the cake and held it to Sirius’ mouth—just as he went to eat it, Remus scooted it to the side. “Ope, a little to the left, love.”

“Remus.”

“Oh, you almost had it! Not quite that far.” He could hear Jules giggling and grinned, moving it two inches to the right as Sirius tried to get it a third time.

“Remus!”

“What? It’s not my fault you can’t catch a fork!”

Sirius finally grabbed his elbow and held it in place to get the cake into his mouth, narrowing his eyes at Remus. “Only you would be mean to me on our wedding day.”

“I’m not being mean.” Remus kissed his nose. “Just keeping things interesting.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Sirius got his own bit of cake and held it up. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”

The second his eyes shut he regretted his decision, but before he could shout a full paper plate of cake smacked into his face with a splat. Everyone gasped, then burst out laughing as the plate fell back down onto the table. Remus slowly wiped frosting from his eyes, flicking it down onto the grass. “That was mean.”

“That was payback,” Sirius corrected.

“See, I would believe you, except I know you’ve been planning to do that for at least three days.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t do it first,”

“C’mere, you.” Remus reached half-blindly for his tie, pulling him in for a sugary kiss and feeling around with his other hand for the plate. He pulled away and, before Sirius could open his eyes, smushed the leftover cake right onto his forehead.

Sirius licked his lips. “Celeste, the cake is fantastic. Do you think it’ll moisturize?”

She was laughing too hard to respond, but she blew him a kiss in between drying her eyes. Remus took a napkin of his own and wiped his face off, licking as much of it off his hands as he could. “Oh, please don’t wait for us to clean up,” he said, motioning the still-laughing crowd forward. “We’ll be here for a while.”

“Whose fault is that?” Sirius teased.

“Yours!”

They ended up ducking into the kitchen to wash up while Dumo and Celeste passed out slices of cake. “I hope there will be some left over for us,” Sirius said as Remus washed the crumbly frosting from his hair. “From the little I got, it was amazing.”

“Yeah, she nailed the orange flavor.” Remus leaned on the front of the sink, watching people mill around or return to the dance floor for one more song before enjoying their cake. The buzz of their mingled voices dripped with joy and he smiled to himself, soaking in the feeling of his family’s happiness.

Warm arms encircled his waist as Sirius’ chin rested on his shoulder. They said nothing and waited in utter silence until Remus laced their fingers together and headed back out into the summer sunshine.

----------------------------

An hour later, a dozen mismatched plates of food laid decimated on the folding table with a quarter of a wedding cake left as James headed toward the dance floor alone, clutching a piece of paper. He stopped just in front of Remus and Sirius’ table and winked at them.

“Hey, everyone. If you don’t know me, which I find difficult to believe for a number of reasons, I’m James Potter, the groom’s best friend. Yes, both of them.” He paused for a moment to let the laughter roll through. “However, I didn’t want a fight to break out over who got to have me as their best man—”

“There was no fight,” Remus corrected with a grin. “The loser got you, Pots.”

“And a lucky loser he is,” James shot back playfully before clearing his throat. “I met Sirius Black six and a half years ago, when he was eighteen and awkward. We were both awkward, actually, but he had this uncanny ability to make it look cool while I tripped over my own feet.

“The minute I met Sirius, I knew we were going to be friends. He was quiet, a little shy, and didn’t really know how talk to people. In that way, we were exactly alike.” The laughter was even louder that time and Sirius shook his head. “Ah, who am I kidding. I adopted Sirius as my best friend because I thought it would be hilarious to corrupt him.”

James glanced down at Sirius with a smile. “While I attempted to make an extrovert out of him, I learned several important things: number one, he is the least extroverted person I’ve ever met. Two, he is one of the kindest, funniest people on the planet. And three, my life had been severely lacking without him in it.”

A soft ‘aww’ washed over the group and Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ knuckles.

James looked back at the other tables as he continued. “Sirius Black is known to most of the world as one of the best hockey players of our time. To me, he’s the dorky little brother I never had, and I am so, so proud of him. I’ve had the privilege of watching him open up, not only to me, but to everyone else on the team that he loves with that big soft heart. When my son was born—you all know my son, right? I think I have a picture here somewhere—”

“No!” half the group shouted as James grinned.

“Just making sure you’re still awake. Anyway, when my son was born, naming Sirius godfather was literally the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I kinda sat back went ‘hmm, who is the first person I can think of to entrust with my child’s life?’ and the only natural decision was the one who is terrified of children.”

“Terrified is a bit of a strong word,” Sirius complained, though his eyes were shining.

“My bad, you’re petrified by children,” James corrected. “But in all seriousness—sorry, couldn’t resist—in all seriousness, I couldn’t think of anyone better suited to the job. I think that tells you everything you need to know about Sirius, actually. Even when he’s scared to death, he goes out of his way to help people when they need it.

“Sirius, however happy you are right now—and you’re basically glowing—I need you to know that it’s one tenth of how happy you have made the people you love.” James’ voice got a little tight and Sirius took an unsteady breath. “You are a natural leader and a great hockey player, but most importantly, you are an outstanding friend. You deserve every good thing coming your way, today and for the rest of your life. As your best man and your best friend, I’ll be there whenever you call.”

Sirius sniffled as James wiped his cheeks dry and turned to Remus. “Loops, take care of my little brother, alright?”

“You got it, Pots,” Remus said, barely above a whisper.

James nodded, then raised his glass of champagne. “To Sirius and Remus, and all the happiness they deserve.”

A loud cry of “cheers!” went up, followed by thunderous applause as Sirius got up and wrapped James in a full-body hug, nearly knocking them both over. They separated after a moment and James stood on his toes to kiss the top of Sirius’ head before they went back to their respective places.

“You okay?” Remus murmured, linking their hands together again.

“Fuck, I knew he was going to make me cry.” Sirius shook his head with a smile and sniffled once again. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

Lily raised an eyebrow as she stood James’ place. “Y’know, Re, I seem to recall you promising me a microphone if I did this.”

“Sorry to disappoint!” Remus called back, feeling a flutter of nerves in his stomach. Lily had refused to share any of her speech with him; when he tried to sneakily grab it once, she shoved it down her shirt and glared until he left the room.

“I’ll get over it.” She rubbed her fingers along the edge of her paper and sighed. “I’ve written and rewritten this speech about a dozen times since Re asked me to do it, but just being here—” She took a moment and blinked back tears. “It’s different. Just ignore me if I cry, okay?

Lily cleared her throat and turned back to the paper. “I met Remus Lupin six and a half years ago, on the same day James met Sirius for the first time. Personally, I think we should make that day a national holiday, since it irrevocably changed the course of both our lives. James found his best friend and little brother, and I found my Remus.

“One of the first things you will notice when you meet Remus is that he is friend shaped.” Several murmurs of agreement rippled through the crowd and Lily winked at Remus as he flushed pink. “Told you so. Honestly, Remus is one of those people who just exudes kindness. When I found out I was pregnant, he was the first person I told besides James. I knew Remus would not only keep my secret, but also be there in whatever capacity I needed because he cares. Truly, madly, deeply.”

Lily looked over to them with a soft, fond expression that made Remus’ stomach twist into knots. “In Sirius’ vows, he said you were sunshine through dark clouds, which is quite possibly my favorite descriptor of all time. It’s really sappy and cute, for one thing, but also true. Re, you bring light and warmth wherever you go. As someone who has been on the receiving end of that light, I can tell you that it is absolutely overwhelming in the best way. There are few places I feel safer than around you.

“And now we’re here, where you just married the love of your life.” The first tear slid down Lily’s cheek, dipping into her dimple as Remus’ own tracked down his chin. “God, Re, this is incredible. You two get to be together for the rest of your lives, and the rest of us have the best seat in the house to one of the greatest love stories of this century! I mean, c’mon, how many people can say they’ve made it through everything you did?”

Lily sniffled and raised her glass, though she maintained eye contact with him the whole time. “To Remus and Sirius, who remind us all what it looks like to be in love, even when the whole world tries to stand against you.”

A second ‘cheers’ began, but Remus was already on his feet and crashing into Lily, pulling her close as she clutched the back of his suit jacket. “I love you, Lils,” he choked out. “That was fucking incredible.”

“Love you too, Re.” She pulled back and carefully smudged her hands under her eyes to keep her makeup intact. “Ugh, sorry if I ruined your jacket with the waterworks.”

“You’re in good company.” She kissed each of his cheeks and fluffed the front of his hair up, making them both laugh as she took her seat again and Remus moved past his table with a last look to Sirius.

His mother’s eyes grew shiny with unshed tears as he held his hand out and guided her to the dance floor, where they swayed back and forth as Here Comes the Sun started to play, gentle and smooth. “Oh, you,” Hope managed as the lyrics began and Remus twirled her slowly. “I bet your father’s crying even though he’s not dancing.”

Remus glanced over to their table—as always, she was right. “He is. God, you’re good.”

“That’s what happens when you’ve been married for twenty-seven years,” she said, eyes crinkling. “Someday, that’s going to be you.”

He huffed softly. Don’t cry on mom, don’t cry on mom, don’t cry on mom. “You can’t just say stuff like that. It’s like kicking me while I’m down!”

“Little darlin’, it seems like years since it’s been clear,” she sang with a grin, tapping his nose. “Here comes the sun, dodododo, here comes the sun, and I say…”

“It’s all right,” Remus finished under his breath. The dance was over in an instant and after a thousand years at the same time—all too soon, people were clapping as they made their way back to the tables and Sirius walked over to Celeste.

She covered her mouth with her hands as he offered an arm, then nodded and accompanied him to the dance floor. He whispered something and she laughed, looping her arms around his neck with a bit of a stretch as a French song Remus had never heard came through the speakers and softened their smiles.

They talked quietly as they danced; Celeste was as elegant as ever and Sirius could be quite graceful when he put his mind to it. She traced his cheekbones with her thumbs and he closed his eyes, looking utterly at peace. Remus’ heartstrings tugged at the sight and he rested his chin on his hand, letting the waltz roll over him.

More applause followed their dance as Celeste held him in a tight embrace until a more upbeat song began and couples mobbed the dance floor. Sirius downed half his water in one gulp before sitting down with a heavy sigh, and dropped his forehead onto Remus’ shoulder. “You looked good out there,” Remus said, running a hand through his hair.

“So did you. I can’t feel my feet anymore.”

“I think we’re supposed to dance at our wedding.”

“I’m so hungry.”

Remus groaned; between the endless congratulations and conversations after the ceremony, they had no time to enjoy the assorted dishes people brought. “Same. We should go somewhere after this.”

“Other than home?”

“Home…” Remus trailed his lips to Sirius’ ear. “Is for other plans. Food happens elsewhere.”

“Good plan,” Sirius said, a little breathless as he sat back up and stood with a stretch. “Come on, sweetheart, the dance floor awaits.”

---------------------------

Thirty minutes after the sun set and Adele’s perfect fairy lights lit up the backyard, the party finally started winding down. Finn had fallen asleep with his head on Leo’s shoulder about ten minutes prior, but nobody had the heart to wake him; as the best dancer of the group, he had been a hot commodity for anyone looking to show off in addition to whirling both his boyfriends around.

Jules stumbled over to Remus and curled up in his lap without warning, snuggling his face into his chest with a jaw-cracking yawn. Regulus came up behind them a moment later, resting his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and scaring the daylights out of him. “Jesus f—frick, Reg!” he yelped, holding a hand over his heart.

“Sorry.” He didn’t look very apologetic as he turned to Remus. “Jules has been asking for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Remus looked down and brushed the soft bangs from his eyes. “What’s up, buddy?”

“I love you,” Jules mumbled. “You got married. That’s so cool.”

Remus smiled. “It really is. Thanks for being the ring-bearer, by the way. You did a great job.”

Jules made a muffled noise before wrapping his arms around Remus’ waist with a sigh. “Mmkay. G’night.”

“You can’t fall asleep yet!” Remus tickled his side lightly. “We’re almost done, I promise.”

“What time is it?” Jules cracked an eye open and fumbled for his wrist, turning Remus’ hand over to check. “It’s not even ten! Why am I tired?”

“You’ve had a busy day. Do you know where mom and dad are?”

“Still talking.”

Remus surveyed the crowd and quickly spotted them next to the cubs, sipping water and sharing a piece of cake. He stood carefully, making sure Jules was steady on his hip before heading toward the table with Sirius and Regulus in tow. “We’ve got a tired munchkin,” he whispered when they arrived, depositing Jules into the chair next to his mother; within moments, Jules laid his head on the table.

“Love you, Re,” he said as he tucked his arms under his head. “Best big brother.”

“Best of all three?” Logan gasped in mock-surprise.

“Three?” Jules sat up straight and gave him a confused look. It was made extra adorable by the crooked cowlick decorating the whole right side of his head. “I only have one.”

“Now that Remus and Sirius are married, you’ve got two more big brothers,” Logan reminded him. “Regulus and Sirius count.”

“That’s crazy,” Jules yawned, cocking his head at the brothers. “Re is still my favorite, but you’re awesome and I love you, too.”

Regulus made a soft sound and Sirius kissed the top of Jules’ head. “Don’t tell anyone, but you’re my favorite Lupin,” he stage-whispered, laughing as Remus rolled his eyes.

Jules frowned. “You married one of us, and it sure wasn’t me.”

“Alright, second favorite,” Sirius conceded with a grin as the rest of the table laughed.

“Mama, I’m tired.” Jules traced the bead patterns on Hope’s dress.

“Okay, lovey, we can go home soon.” She raised an eyebrow at Remus and he nodded. “Do you want to say some goodbyes first?”

“We’ll see everyone tomorrow. ‘s okay.”

Lyall gathered Jules into his arms, then turned to Remus and pulled him close with a kiss to his forehead. “So proud of you, kiddo.” He looked over at Sirius for a moment. “Take good care of him, eh?”

“Sir, yes sir.” Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’ temple as they separated, then moved aside for Hope.

She scanned his face for a moment, then touched their foreheads together. “Good luck, baby. Not that you need it, but you deserve it anyway.”

Remus pulled them both back in for a family hug, feeling Jules drape a drowsy arm around the back of his neck. “Thank you so much for being here. It means—it means everything to me.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Lyall whispered. “Now go, you two haven’t eaten anything tonight.”

“Thank you,” both of them breathed at the same time, sending the whole group into a fit of laughter.

They said a few more ‘thank you’s and goodbyes until the other Lions started a loud, incoherent cheer and all but chased them toward Sirius’ car, where a small ‘Just Married’ sign had been stuck on the back window. They were planning on keeping the wedding a secret from the media as long as they could—the reaction would be even more hilarious the longer they waited.

“What if—” Remus broke off into snickering as they pulled out of the Dumais’ driveway. “What if nobody notices?”

“What? That we’re married?” Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. “People are going to figure it out so fast, no matter how many times Pots changes the subject.”

Remus hummed and rested his hand on Sirius’ thigh as he drove, tapping along to the rhythm of the radio; the route was familiar to them both, even after the chaos of the day. A slow, unstoppable smile made his cheeks hurt. “We got married.”

“Damn right, we did.”

“Scuse me for a moment.” Remus rolled down his window and cleared his throat, then leaned out and whooped loud enough that people in the next state would probably be able to hear it. He calmly closed it once more, fighting down a smile. “Sorry, I just had to get that out.”

Sirius slowed and rolled his own window down, sticking his head out into the empty night air. “I got married!” he shouted at the top of his lungs with a wild grin. “I have a husband now! Just thought you should know!”

“Husband,” Remus mused as the car started moving again. “Hmm. I like the sound of that.”

“Me, too.”

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

My Thoughts on Pride & Prejudice 2005: Style over Substance

Kicking off my Pride and Prejudice adaptation review series with the most popular of all the adaptations: the 2005 movie. This film stars Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet and Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy.

1. GENERAL THINGS I LIKED

The cinematography and the soundtrack. Every shot is a painting, especially with the gorgeous landscape scenery. The music is beautiful and dreamy; I have listened to the soundtrack more times than I've watched the film. Both the cinematography and the soundtrack effectively transport the viewer back to the film's romanticized version of "the past," when life was simpler and people lived slower lives, waiting for their Mr. Darcy to sweep them off their feet.

Originality. The film takes a unique approach to the story by focusing mainly on the romance between Darcy and Elizabeth and emphasizing how the natural surroundings reflect the characters' mental state/emotions (pouring rain during the first proposal and stormy skies when Elizabeth hurries home after Lydia runs away). Though one can disagree with the creative changes made, I like how this film isn't just a remake of what came before it.

Elizabeth's walks through the countryside. The film expresses her desire for freedom through her countryside walks. For instance, the Netherfield walk is shocking to Caroline Bingley because it demonstrates Elizabeth's independence.

The comedic parts are great thanks to the creative additions made. For example, the "excellent boiled potatoes" joke isn't in the book, but it perfectly exemplifies Mr. Collins' poor social skills and pretentiousness, as he tries to make an overly formal comment about an otherwise mundane dish.

2. THE CASTING

The acting is good, although I don't always agree with how the characters are portrayed.

Keira Knightley. I like how she's the right age for Elizabeth, who is around 20-21 years old; Knightley was around 19-20 when she played Elizabeth, plus she has gorgeous eyes. She perfectly conveys the pride, confidence, and biting wit of Elizabeth, as she holds her head high in an imperious manner and has a direct, piercing gaze. However, I don't like how this version chooses to simplify Elizabeth's character into that of "free-spirited nonconformist tomboy," who is a nature-lover and runs to the countryside to console herself when things get tough (ex. running to the lake after rejecting Mr. Collins). This is a contrast to the Elizabeth Bennet as presented to us in the book, who acts like a typical "lady" for the sake of her social reputation; she mostly keeps her thoughts to herself except when talking to Jane or Darcy. Elizabeth is powerful not because she rejects society outright; it is because she does not submit to societal pressure to marry and makes her own choices (ex. rejecting Mr. Collins).

Matthew Macfadyen. His Darcy is cold, aloof, and remote, yet shows signs of a rich inner life and unrequited yearning for Elizabeth as a soulmate. I like how this version shows Elizabeth peeling away his cold exterior like the layers of an onion, until his heart of gold is revealed. While I think Macfadyen is a good actor, I disagree with the interpretation of Darcy solely being a lonely introvert, as it neglects his primary character flaw of pride.

Tom Hollander's Mr. Collins. Probably the best casting, as he perfectly portrays the bumbling awkwardness of the character and is more sympathetic than the gross Mr. Collins in the 1995 BBC miniseries. He is short, has a nasally voice and officious manner that makes him annoying yet fun to watch.

Simon Woods as Mr. Bingley. He's so friendly and eager to please, like the character is in the book.

Rosamund Pike's Jane Bennet. Utterly angelic and motherly, need I say more? The perfect antidote to Elizabeth's savagery.

Rupert Friend's Mr. Wickham. Handsome and dashing in a red soldier's uniform. It's easy to see how a girl would fall for him and ignore his debauchery, but also obvious that he is deceptive. For instance, he keeps claiming that he is insignificant and unnoticed, when he basks in the attention of Elizabeth, Kitty and Lydia.

3. OVERALL CHARACTER AND PLOT DEVELOPMENT

Since this is a movie, character development is a challenge, and the film relies on changes of outward appearance/dialogue to show character growth. For instance, we get to see Darcy's change from cold and remote into warm and loving, while Elizabeth admits that "she was wrong" about Darcy and slowly comes to respect him.

The first half (beginning to Darcy's proposal) is great because it effectively introduces the audience to the cast of characters (the family, Darcy, Bingley, Caroline, Wickham, and Mr. Collins). It also contains all the comedic parts and sets up the conflicts that drive the story. Overall, this half is more faithful to the novel because it has the social satire aspects of the story and sticks to the key plot points while developing the characters.

The second half is rather lackluster compared to the first because it focuses solely on resolving the plot points introduced in the first half. This part of the book contains important events for Elizabeth's character development (getting the letter, visiting Pemberley, dealing with the fallout from Lydia's elopement), but the film rushes through them to get Elizabeth and Darcy married. Instead of focusing on how Elizabeth overcomes her prejudice of Darcy and starts to love him, the film relies on aesthetic shots of flickering candles/landscapes to serve as quick transitions between the scenes. Though we have plenty of evidence that Darcy loves Elizabeth, we don't see much evidence that the love is mutual until the second proposal, only that Elizabeth starts to see him as a friend.

Another reason I don't like the second half of the film as much as the first half is the reduced dialogue. This second half has a lot of quiet moments devoted to nature scenery/Elizabeth staring in the mirror. Reducing the dialogue, with the exception of the letter scene, doesn't make sense because the plot/action of Pride and Prejudice is furthered through the conversations the characters have (after all, wealthy Regency women likely spent much time indoors/making social calls). While one can argue that the reduced dialogue is meant to show that Elizabeth is reflecting on her mistaken prejudice, without access to Elizabeth's interior thoughts, the audience doesn't get to see Elizabeth actively confronting her false assumptions about Darcy, unlike in the book, where she says out loud to herself: "Until this moment, I never knew myself."

Notable Scenes From the First Half of the Film:

The opening scene. It sets the tone for the whole movie with the beginning shot of a field at dawn, which ties in nicely with the second proposal scene near the end. By presenting Elizabeth by herself reading a book, it communicates to the audience that Elizabeth is "not like other girls," and it shows the imperfect, yet loving family dynamics of the Bennet household.

Elizabeth roasting Darcy after he dismisses her as "tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me." During a conversation the Bennet family has with Darcy and Bingley, Mrs. Bennet commits a social gaffe when talking about Jane's many admirers and how one sent her poetry. Elizabeth saves the situation by commenting that bad poetry can kill love, and Darcy comments that he regards poetry as "the food of love" and asks how to "encourage affection." I like that the film included this little exchange from the book (although it takes place while Elizabeth is visiting a sick Jane at Netherfield, and not during the first ball), since it was skipped over in the 1995 miniseries. The best part is Elizabeth's sick burn: "Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable," which is made even better when she walks away from him with a triumphant smile on her face.

The famous Hand Flex. After Darcy helps Elizabeth into the carriage (by holding her hand) so she and Jane can head back home, he glances longingly at her before wringing the hand with which he touched hers. It's an important hint of his growing love for her, as well as his struggle to repress those feelings. This is a wonderful bit of character development as it reveals that Darcy has a heart.

Mr. Collins having a meal with the Bennet family. The awkwardness is palpable as Mr. Collins tries to show off his social skills and give pro tips on charming ladies. This is all topped off with this amazing comedic joke: "These are excellent boiled potatoes. Many years since I've had such an exemplary vegetable." Another brilliant bit: after Lydia cannot contain her laughter, Lizzy, after giving her father a mischievous side-eye, slaps Lydia on the back to hide her laughter. Best line besides the excellent boiled potatoes: "Believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed."

The Netherfield Ball dance between Darcy and Elizabeth. It is staged like a clash of personalities in the beginning, while the creative filming technique of separating the couple apart from the crowd of dancers foreshadows the budding relationship between them. I also like how sarcastic the dialogue is--Elizabeth is trying to win a battle of wits with Darcy but he successfully avoids her traps while reminding her that she doesn't truly know him and cannot make judgements about his personality.

Mr. Collins trying to introduce himself to Darcy. It's so comical because of the significant height difference between Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy (Collins is dwarfed by Darcy). The height difference effectively represents the significant difference in social status between the two men and makes Collins, with his pomposity, look ridiculous as he fancies himself part of the nobility but cannot properly introduce himself.

Mr. Collins' proposal--one of the funniest scenes in the movie. Mr. Collins clumsily tries to flatter Elizabeth with a tiny flower, and it gets even funnier when he so obviously misreads Elizabeth's disinterest and outright exasperation (he doesn't understand that no means no!). After Mr. Collins bends down on one knee to propose to Elizabeth, the film emphasizes Elizabeth's towering presence over Collins to show that the two are a mismatch. The fact that the proposal takes place in the messy dining room reflects Collins' view of marriage as a business matter that he wants to get done with quickly, since the location of the proposal is not very romantic.

Elizabeth roasting Darcy yet again at Rosings Park. Elizabeth eagerly recounts to Colonel Fitzwilliam Darcy's impolite manners at the first ball; Darcy confesses that "I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before." I like how the nervous and quiet delivery of that line shows to the audience that Darcy is an introvert, and it shows that he's an honest person, since he abhors "disguise of every sort." The scene effectively highlights Elizabeth's prejudice towards Darcy as the audience feels pity for him when Elizabeth tells him to practice.

"This is a charming house." During this scene, Darcy visits Elizabeth while she is alone and awkwardly attempts to make conversation with her. Macfadyen is a master of body language; Darcy says little but expresses a lot (ex. the nervous fiddling with his gloves). He tries to express his feelings for Elizabeth but gives up and abruptly walks out of the room.

The first proposal. What a climactic scene (but not very faithful to the book)! The music, thunder, and rain perfectly complement the volcano of emotions that erupts when Darcy cannot repress his feelings any longer. This scene has some of the best sexual tension ever; the two get closer to each other until they almost kiss. While this scene is great to an objective viewer, I don't like that the modified dialogue changes the original meaning of this scene (more about this later).

The letter. Elizabeth has a moment of introspection when she is forced to question her judgment, and Darcy delivers his letter. I like the shot of Darcy riding farther and farther away from Elizabeth, signaling that he is becoming increasingly out of her reach.

Notable Scenes from the Second Half of the Film:

Aunt and Uncle Gardiner arrive right after Elizabeth comes back from Rosings and they take her away to a vacation. I didn't like how they were introduced too quickly; I was thinking to myself "how did they get there and where did they come from?" Luckily we are treated to more glorious shots of the English countryside (the one with them under a large oak tree is my favorite).

Visiting Pemberley. I was puzzled by why Elizabeth laughs as soon as she sees Pemberley for the first time because in the book she was in complete awe of it. Also it doesn't make sense why she would touch his expensive stuff it's not her house...or is it? The good thing is that the embarrassment the two have upon meeting each other again is definitely palpable. Georgiana is sweet, but a little less shy than she was in the book.

Darcy smiles! After introducing Georgiana to Elizabeth, he smiles for a brief time at Elizabeth, and she smiles back. It's a great moment showing how Elizabeth has drawn out his goodness, and indicates that Darcy has transformed for Elizabeth. She also starts seeing him as a friend and her prejudice against him seems to have reversed in this moment of mutual recognition.

Lydia's elopement. Keira Knightley's fake cry was off-putting. Then Darcy only talks to her for a little bit and doesn't help her much (unlike in the book, where he asked her to sit down and got her some wine to make her feel better). I don't know why the aunt and uncle are in this scene because it's very important in developing Darcy and Elizabeth's relationship. In the book, the two are alone, and Elizabeth choosing to tell Darcy about Lydia's elopement is a sign that she trusts him, while Darcy's concern for Elizabeth further confirms that he still loves her. This extremely brief scene flickers quickly, and it takes only a few seconds before Elizabeth is crying in her carriage, while the sky is dark and ominous.

Bingley rehearsing his proposal with Darcy. This added scene, which is not in the book, is so funny because of how Darcy roleplays Jane, while Bingley has so much anxiety about her not accepting him. It's a nice glimpse into their friendship and it's also funny because Bingley is getting proposal advice from someone who failed very miserably at proposing.

Sunrise on the Moors. Another objectively beautiful and romantic scene that is definitely not faithful to the book. The two meet each other in a field in their nightgowns and profess their love to each other while blessed by the rising sun.

4. MAJOR FLAWS; OR, HOW THE FILM DIVERGES FROM THE BOOK

In earlier book adaptation reviews, I stated that I welcomed creative changes as long as they reflected what was already in the book (ex. literary elements and character development) or the author's intent, since film and books are different mediums and some storytelling techniques that work in books may not work on film. This movie is undoubtedly well-known for its creative changes, especially in terms of historical setting and dialogue. While these creative changes entertain the audience, I feel that they change the meaning of the story as presented by the book.

Here's the biggest issue I have with the movie: Darcy has no pride. The film interprets his "pride" as a misconception strangers get from Darcy's cold manner and inconsiderate remarks, but in the book he is an arrogant person who views his social inferiors as beneath him and treats them poorly. In the movie, his whole character is fashioned in the modern image of the "sensitive man," who is kind and considerate if only the outside world would appreciate his uniqueness. Thus, Elizabeth's prejudice against him is entirely without merit. While making Darcy a more sympathetic person highlights how wrong Elizabeth's prejudice is, the fact is that both of them have "pride and prejudice." Some fans have commented that Darcy is like a sad puppy at times. It's hard to see how he's a good match for this Elizabeth's fiery spirit, only that he wouldn't infringe upon her freedom to roam. A lot of YouTube comments I read were people expressing their desire to "hug Darcy" or console him after Elizabeth rejects him; this doesn't make sense because Darcy is an unsympathetic character until he is forced to change in order to earn Elizabeth's love. Apart from becoming kinder to Elizabeth and the Gardiners, Darcy never really changes in the movie; he still remains a socially awkward introvert.

The re-interpretation of Pride and Prejudice as purely a romantic novel: The emphasis on romance means that the other elements of the book--the social criticism, secondary characters and the dialogue--are de-emphasized for the sake of the romance between Elizabeth and Darcy.

The film's approach to the story echoes Charlotte Bronte's criticism of the novel: "And what did I find [in Pride and Prejudice]? ... a carefully fenced, highly cultivated garden, with neat borders and delicate flowers; but no glance of a bright, vivid physiognomy, no open country, no fresh air, no blue hill, no bonny beck. I should hardly like to live with her ladies and gentlemen, in their elegant but confined homes." This version of Pride and Prejudice utilizes Romantic elements not in the book (ex. the storms, the landscapes) to increase the passion that the characters feel but cannot express.

Pride and Prejudice is perceived as a "boring" book because much of the drama takes place indoors (ex. Darcy's first proposal is in Mr. Collin's home), whereas in the film, there is greater emphasis on the natural scenery in keeping with its Romantic interpretation (lots of the "open country" that Charlotte Bronte desired). While the landscape scenes are beautiful, locating the action indoors, in the grand houses of the nobility, emphasizes the repressive, tradition-based nature of Regency Era society that Austen criticized (in a subtle way). These houses reinforce social hierarchy, for instance; the interior of Rosings Park is showy and stifling because it it represents Lady Catherine De Bourgh's wealth and power over those around her. Locating most of the scenes indoors visually represents the "confined and unvarying" lives of Regency era women and makes Elizabeth Bennet's independent streak much more significant.

Some of the social constraints that Elizabeth and Darcy face are removed. For example, Elizabeth is much more direct in her criticisms of others (ex. the "barely tolerable" insult), whereas in the book she largely confines these criticisms to her intimate friends such as Jane and Charlotte Lucas. While this effectively shows how badass she is, Elizabeth likely would not have taunted Darcy in such a direct way, as it would have been considered impolite and likely harmed her social reputation in a society governed by rigid adherence to social etiquette. And of course, Darcy likely would not have been walking around the English countryside in an open-chested shirt although we may have Colin Firth's wet shirt to blame for that. The importance of following etiquette rules is shown when Darcy offends the whole village by refusing to dance with anyone during the first ball. As a woman in a patriarchal society, it would have been even more important for Elizabeth to follow the rules, as her social reputation was important to her chances of making a good marriage. By de-emphasizing the rigid social norms that govern the characters, the obstacles to Elizabeth and Darcy's marriage are less significant, and it seems that the only thing standing in the way of their being together is Elizabeth's unreasonable hatred of Darcy.

Also, in many of Austen's novels, the hometowns of her heroines and its inhabitants are their own characters; the power of gossip in determining one's social reputation for the "marriage market" is de-emphasized in the film. In Pride and Prejudice, a major reason Elizabeth doesn't discover Wickham's bad character at first is because of the "general approbation of the neighborhood" and social popularity he has in Hertfordshire. After Lydia elopes, the family is in a bad situation with regards to marriage prospects because the village had "generally proved [the Bennets] to be marked out for misfortune." In the film, the role of the village is relegated to that of a place for entertainment and nothing more.

Others have noted that the film also exaggerates the social divide between Elizabeth and Darcy by turning the Bennet family into peasant farm-owners who have messy hair and wear plain, homespun clothing. This justifies Darcy's social prejudice against the Bennets, which undercuts Austen's message of morals, actions, and treatment of others being a better indicator of character than class rank (the rich people in this book, with the exception of Darcy, Georgiana and Bingley, are shown to be lazy or plain ridiculous). While Darcy may be richer than Elizabeth, and have better connections, they are both members of the gentry--after all, they do not have to work to maintain their lifestyles. Instead, we are presented with a conventional rags-to-riches story, where our poor but virtuous heroine is rewarded with a rich Prince Charming who takes her away from the squalor of her home to his great big palace.

Ultimately, the story is changed into an argument for love, specifically the passionate kind, triumphing over all; Elizabeth overcomes her hatred of men as "humorless poppycocks" to be with Darcy. Near the end, Mary reads out of a book claiming that a lady should give in to her passions and surrender to love, which doesn't make sense as the marriage based entirely on passion (Lydia and Wickham) is shown to be less than ideal.

While Austen does believe in following one's heart (ex. Persuasion, where Anne Elliot regrets rejecting Captain Wentworth because of his lower social status), others have commented that she presents the ideal relationship as a balance between mind and heart. Charlotte's practical marriage to Mr. Collins represents the traditional view of marriage as an "economic proposition," it is entirely logical and calculated, whereas Lydia and Wickham's marriage is the other emotional extreme, motivated entirely by sexual infatuation. Before Elizabeth acknowledges her love for Darcy, she must respect him as her intellectual equal. Here's the passage from the book where Elizabeth realizes she loves Darcy: "She now began to comprehend that he was exactly the man, who in disposition and talents, would most suit her. His understanding and temper, though unlike her own, would have answered all her wishes. It was an union that must have been to the advantage of both; by her ease and liveliness, his mind might have been softened, his manners improved, and from his judgment, information, and knowledge of the world, she must have received benefit of greater importance." Elizabeth's decision to marry Darcy is not only a result of her heart's desire, but it comes after she does some thinking and concludes they are compatible and would be able to live with each other on a day-to-day basis.

Something else I find ironic is the director's (Joe Wright's) claim that he aimed for realism in the film, given that Austen already depicted Regency era life realistically by focusing on social norms, class, and wealth:

The director, in his quest for "realism," features the messy environment of the Bennet household, which doesn't make sense given that they are still relatively wealthy (when defending herself, Elizabeth tells Lady Catherine that she is "a gentleman's daughter"). Also, they have servants to clean things up, so why would the house be in a constant state of disarray?

Lastly, how is the second proposal scene is "realistic?" It is a moment of "psychic communication" between Darcy and Elizabeth which is out of character for the book. They both "can't sleep" and walked, in the words of Wikipedia, "across the moors" to see each other ok this seriously reminds me of Wuthering Heights. The scene is powerful because every woman wants to be told that "you have bewitched me body and soul" but "realistically," this doesn't happen (and this line isn't in the book either).

"REALISM" IS THE REASON WHY WE FUSS OVER HISTORICAL ACCURACY!!! HISTORICAL ACCURACY ALLOWS PERIOD DRAMAS TO BE REALISTIC!!!!

If the characters wore historically accurate clothing (different from the loosely inspired, modernized dresses/hair in the film), it would have emphasized the lack of freedom women had in Regency Era society and reinforced the importance of following social norms to succeed in a patriarchal society.

Bad Script Changes:

This film is known for its modernized script, which makes it easier for a mainstream audience to watch the movie. However, it also changes depictions of the characters in ways that undercut the meaning of the book.

Elizabeth Bennet, man-hater:

"Oh, they [men] are far too easy to judge. Humorless poppycocks, in my limited experience."

"And which of the painted peacocks is Mr. Bingley?"

"Men are either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity. And if they're amiable they're so easily led that they have no minds of their own whatsoever...No, they bring nothing but heartache."

I know these snarky comments are fun and reinforce the modern perception of Elizabeth Bennet as a feminist heroine. However, book Elizabeth doesn't rail against men as a whole; she just wants to find love rather than be forced into an advantageous marriage. Her idea that marriage should be based on love and respect, along with her unwillingness to compromise on that ideal, is what makes her revolutionary, not her complete apathy towards the opposite sex.

"Don't you dare judge me!" While it foreshadows Elizabeth's flawed judgment, this outburst is out of character for Charlotte Lucas, who in the book is level-headed and makes practical decisions. As with the majority of the bad script changes, it is too modern and doesn't fit with the 19th century style language used elsewhere in the script.

Darcy's lack of pride is shown in the modified lines of the first proposal (which were hard to catch because they were spoken super fast):

"I can bear it no longer. The past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you. I had to see you. I've fought against my better judgment, my family's expectation, the inferiority of your birth, my rank and circumstance, all those things, but I'm willing to put them aside and ask you to end my agony. I love you. Most ardently."

These lines completely change the meaning of the first proposal. Apart from the famous opening lines ("In vain I have struggled. It will not do. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you"), Austen makes clear that Darcy still regards his higher social position and Elizabeth's inferior connections as obstacles to their marriage. His first proposal to Elizabeth is a means of getting rid of the suffering that his unrequited love has forced upon him; he still does not accept Elizabeth as his equal, which is why she rejects him in the first place. Clearly he is not "willing to put [social norms] aside" when it comes to "his sense of her inferiority." The modified lines also make Darcy much more romantic by having him state that he came to Rosings to see Elizabeth; the book does not specify that this is the case; he just came on a routine visit to see his aunt and Elizabeth happened to be there. As I said earlier, Elizabeth in the book rejects Darcy because of his lack of respect for her, but in the film, he seems to show nothing but respect for her. They even have an almost-kiss, which doesn't make sense given that she hates him so intensely at this point in the novel.

"He's so, he's so...rich." Elizabeth utters these when trying and failing to find a reason not to visit Pemberley. This declaration does not make sense because Elizabeth has formed in the very least a grudging respect for Mr. Darcy; without access to her internal thoughts, one might take this line as evidence that she still hates Mr. Darcy.

“Just leave me alone!!!” After confronting Lady Catherine, Elizabeth flees to her room to find some alone time. This doesn’t suit Elizabeth’s character because 1) she acts like a temperamental teenager and 2) she is estranged from her family. In the book she gets closer to her family after Darcy’s first proposal, not the other way round. In some JASNA (Jane Austen Society of North America) articles I read about Pride and Prejudice, the authors observed that Elizabeth isn’t concerned about her family early in the novel; her motivations are largely self-centered, she keeps her head above their foolishness and doesn’t have intimate relationships with anyone in her family with the exception of her father and Jane. Only after she receives the criticisms of her family’s behavior from Mr. Darcy does she look out for her family; for example, by advising her father not to let Lydia go to Brighton (and she becomes right about it harming her family’s reputation). The film also makes Elizabeth even more isolated from her family by omitting the fact that she tells Jane about what happened between her and Darcy. Elizabeth learning to care for her family is an important part of her growth which the film omits.

5. CONCLUSION

I still think this film is worth watching, even though as a purist I disagree with the creative changes made, namely the emphasis on the romance over the social comedy. It is obvious that the screenwriter/director didn't strive to replicate the book exactly and aimed for a romantic re-interpretation.

The film has had a positive impact since it introduced a lot of people to Jane Austen, including me.

Here’s my story: when the movie aired on TV, my mother, who is a 1995 die-hard, started ranting about her hate for this version, so I picked up the book so that I could watch and compare.

As a romance movie it is excellent, because it has plenty of sexual tension and quotable romantic lines, along with a couple we can root for. The set design, music, and set design also make watching the movie an experience. It's very easy to love this movie just for the cottage core aesthetics (although aesthetics cannot cover up the flaws of this film).

On a side note, I find it funny that the Wikipedia article for this film states that it "failed to have the cultural influence" of the 1995 BBC miniseries. In fact, many people my age (17 or 18 years old) who have read the book consider this movie the definitive version of Pride and Prejudice and some don't even know that the 1995 miniseries exists!

Whether you love or hate this film, all I ask is that you don't call it Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

@colonelfitzwilliams @appleinducedsleep @obscurelittlebird @austengivesmeserotonin @princesssarisa @dahlia-coccinea @firawren @cobaltzosia

[chaoticvampirejedi]

Ghosts of 79's

Summary: You loved your job as a bartender at 79's, but times have changed. Now the clones, loyal to the Empire, stopped coming here, so the bar had to be sold. You decided to come there one last time and say goodbye to this place. There, you can't stop thinking about the clones, the nights you spent here, and your relationship with Rex.

Pairing: Rex X GN!reader

Word count: 1947 (it was supposed to be under 1000 words)

Warnings: light angst, drinking, alcohol use, mentions of war and characters death

Tags: @ladykatakuri @hellothere-generalangsty @twinkofthedink (if I confused something and you didn't want to be tagged please let me) know

It has never been so quiet in this place before. No music. No laughter. No sound of feet clumsily dancing on the floor. 79's looked like a miserable shadow of itself. Unnaturally silent and empty. There was this old saying on Coruscant that every bar has its heart that keeps it alive. If that was true, 79's had definitely lost its own. It was almost unbelievable how abruptly things have changed. 

And who could have expected it? you thought, looking at the blue illuminated bar counter where you used to make drinks every night; right now these nights felt like from another life.

You had no idea why you came here today; you didn't work here anymore. No one did. But you couldn't just leave this place without saying goodbye to it. Not after all these nights. Your gaze shifted at one of the tables and for a second you could have sworn that you heard familiar voices shouting "To the 501st!".

The 501st Legion. Your favorite clones in white and blue armors that always seemed to have the craziest ideas. You smiled thinking about them. Memories came back. Good memories. 

"Look who's here! The best bartender on Coruscant!," you used to hear often. It was usually Fives who greeted you this way. He and Tup loved to talk with you. Usually about their missions and battles; you loved those stories, their lives seemed so fascinating compared to yours. Surprisingly they had a different opinion on this.

"Ok, enough about us," Tup said once. "Y/N, and how about you? Tell us something interesting!"

"Me? Interesting?" you laughed. "Listen, my life is more boring than a broken droid. I have nothing interesting to tell you."

"Oh, come on!" Fives almost fell from his stool, he definitely had drunk too much that evening. "You work in the clone bar! I bet Tup's hair you have so many good stories! Just tell us something! Anything!"

And so, after a moment of thought, you told them; you told them about that one time you accidentally found one clone and your friend kissing in the bathroom. And then you told them about another fun day at your work. And another. And another. The three of you had such a great time that before you knew it your shift was over, but even then you stayed at the bar; you had too much fun to just go home. You smiled thinking about that day, the day you realized that maybe your life is not as boring as you thought. 

You never found out how exactly Fives and Tup died, for some reason, no 501st trooper wanted to talk about their deaths and you decided to respect it even though it wasn't easy for you. 

Now, looking at the empty stools you were wondering, if you will ever find such wonderful customers, again. Probably not. Fives and Tup were special.

You looked away and your gaze fell on the stairs that led to the upper floor of the bar now unlit and shrouded in the darkness. You chuckled, unable to suppress your smile as you remembered how you once slow danced on them with Kix. He had always seemed to be calm and sensible, and yet a few months ago he surprised you with this silly idea. 

"Come on! Just one dance and then you can go back to work!" his hand gently grabbed your wrist. "I have to prove to Jesse that I'm not boring! I'm a good dancer. I promise you won't fall!"

He was right. You didn't fall. You both did.

And even if this incident left you with a sprained ankle, you couldn't stay angry with the medic for long. Especially since it was he who introduced you to Rex.

Rex…

Suddenly your smile disappeared.

He almost never visited 79's, but the others used to talk about him so often that when he finally showed up at the bar you recognized him immediately.

"So you're the bartender my medic fell down the stairs with," the blond-haired clone said when he heard your name.

"Oh, so you've heard about me," you laughed, pushing a drink towards him.

"Well... Let's say this story has become very popular, right Kix?" Rex turned to look at his friend, but he wasn't there anymore. "Kix?"

"It looks like this place is dangerous for him." something about Rex made you feel relaxed and in a joking mood. "First the stairs, and now he has just disappeared. Maybe you should go after him because who knows what will happen next? Murderous bathroom door?"

Rex chuckled and you couldn't help but think how cute he is when he's amused.

"Kix can take care of himself," he said, slowly turning the glass in his fingers. "He'll be fine. Besides..." he looked at you and smiled. "I really want to hear your version of that story."

After that evening his visits at 79's became more frequent. He never drank too much and spent most of his time talking with you. Soon you realized that you were looking forward to these meetings. Rex was… different from any other clone you've met before. Neither in a bad way, nor in a good way. He was just different.

There was something special about him and you couldn't explain it, but every time you saw him you felt happy and every time he had to leave you felt sad. And of course, you had been flirting with him; both of you knew you liked each other. Actually, everyone knew it, you weren't very discreet with it.

Then why didn't you do something about it sooner? you've been torturing yourself with this question for a long time, still unable to find the right answer.

Were you too shy?

Or maybe too scared that for him it was just casual flirting?

Now all these doubts seemed ridiculous. Everything was lost anyway.

Once again you looked at the counter bar and took a deep breath. You slowly stood behind it with your hand running over its cold and unusually clean surface. That was it. Right now, you were standing in the same place you last spoke to him. You stared at the empty seat in front of you, wondering what you told him then that made him laugh so much. 

It was some joke about a droid and a Separatist, so stupid and childish that for one awkward second you thought Rex will be disgusted, but apparently he didn't mind. Instead, he just leaned toward you with a smile on his face.

"I have to tell you…" he was so close you could feel his breath on your cheek. "Thank you for this evening. I'm glad that I came here today. I really am."

"Wait," you almost knocked off a drink that you had just prepared for one of the customers. "Are you trying to tell me that you're leaving? Now?"

It was still quite early and you hoped that he would stay here for at least two more hours.

"Yeah. Tomorrow's a busy day". 

You knew what that meant; tomorrow he will leave Coruscant once again.

"I see…" you mumbled, avoiding his eyes. There was no point in asking him when he would be back. No one knew it. "Well… Good luck then."

"Thank you." a weak smile appeared on his face. There was an awkward silence between you as there was nothing more to do or say.

"So… Goodbye." 

"Goodbye." Rex was clearly embarrassed. "Please, take care."

"Yeah��� You too."

"Always." he took the last sip of his drink and got up from the stool.

It was the moment when something broke inside you.

"Wait!" you grabbed his hand and looked frantically at his surprised face.

"Come with me. To my home. It's not that far from here. I- I'll say that I had an emergency and I have to leave earlier, so we can spend some time together... You know. Alone."

Your own words surprised you, but you didn't want to give up on this, so when you saw that Rex was hesitating you quickly added.

"My bed is very comfortable and I make the best breakfasts on this planet. You'll rest like never before."

"A nice bed and good breakfast you say?" Rex asked flirtatiously and tenderly brushed a stray of hair from your face. He clearly liked this idea. You had already smiled, convinced that he would agree, but then his facial expression changed. He wasn't the man who came to 79's to have fun and flirt with the bartender, anymore. He was a soldier. Loyal to the Republic and seriously taking the role assigned to him.

"No. Sorry. I can't." his hand slipped from yours. "Not today. Next time. I promise"

Next time.

But the next time has never come. You had been making drinks for so many clones, waiting for him but he never went through 79's doors again. Weeks and months passed and the 501st still didn't come back. You had been wondering how they were doing. Were they safe? Were they alive? Was he alive? Everyone had been talking that the war was coming to an end, so you let yourself believe that you would meet him again soon. 

And then one day ruined everything. The Republic had fallen. Jedi had become traitors and clones…

You still couldn't understand it. Suddenly all clones have become imperial soldiers. Why? How? You knew them. They were loyal to the Republic and Jedi. Not to the Empire. Nothing made sense anymore. 

That feral day also changed 79's forever. All clones stopped coming here and the rest of the Coruscant didn't want to spend any time in the "clone bar". Especially after recent events. The owner didn't hesitate for long; he sold the bar as soon as he realized that 79's couldn't be saved. 

A single tear dropped on the counter. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry, but you couldn't help it. This place meant a lot to you and what? You were supposed to leave it behind, just like that? You knew you wouldn't be working here forever, but this? This wasn't supposed to happen. You were supposed to celebrate the end of the war with Rex, not standing here alone and thinking that he was…

He's dead. an uncomfortable thought crossed your mind. Kriff. He's dead.

You tried with all your mind not to think about it, but you knew it was true. Rex would never betray his Jedi. He would disobey the given order. And if he did… Well. You knew what was the fate of every traitor. He was dead and it was high time you admitted it.

"Hey, you! I'm kriffing talking to you! Are you done standing there like a drunk Jedi withou lightsaber?" a sharp female voice snapped you out of your thoughts. 

You looked around in surprise and saw a woman in the doorway. Her face showed impatience.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, arm crossed.

"Sorry," you muttered. "I-I'm just… I worked here and…"

"Oh, great. Another sentimental clone lover who came here to think about the past. I'm sorry time have changed or whatever. Now, get out of here!"

Any other day, you would have said something mean to her, but not today. Today you were too tired and melancholic to think of any snarky reply, so you just wiped away your tears and walked towards the door, stopping only at the exit. You took one last look around the bar, ignoring the murderous glare of the woman.

"Thank you, thank you for everything," you whispered, and with the sound of a closing door, you finally said goodbye to the 79's.

[bookstantrash]

A/N: Huge shoutout to the lovely @perseusannabeth​ who obsess over Pride & Prejudice as much as me. After very politely threatening asking  me to write more of Nessian as P&P (I’m so glad Sarah made it canon that Nessian’s relationship is Darcy and Lizzie’s) she told me about THE lake scene in the BBC version. I watched all six episodes and fell in love, so I highly suggest you all watch it too.

Also, huge shoutout to @firebirdofscythia​ (I stole your Azriel line lmao) and the rest of the gc for being so supportive!! Enjoy

Pemberley’s Lake

Cassian was so tired it was a wonder he had not fallen from his horse, which made him realise that Azriel may have been partially right in telling him to take a break and go back to his state to rest.

Although he suspected that Azriel kicking him out of his office and practically throwing him in a carriage to Pemberley had more to do with the fact that Azriel had gotten sick of his mopey mood more than anything else.

“I shall never show my face in society again” Cassian had told a bored looking Azriel one afternoon, laying on his office’s floor as if it was the end of the world “I shall work until my eyes grow tired and my beard and hair are so long they reach the ground.”

“Stop with the theatrics brother. It is not becoming of you.” Azriel had answered as he shuffled a deck of cards.

“Theatrics!! Azriel for Cauldron’ sake I have no idea how I can keep on living after that refusal” he sighed from his place on the carpeted floor “There is not another woman alive who could hold my heart. It's lost forever. And now I shall live in regret and shame of not being enough for her.”

Azriel rolled his eyes so hard at his brother’s words it was a wonder they did not stay permanently like that.

“I shall grow old and drown my sorrows in the finest beers and wines, turning fat and bald. And after I have passed, my cursed ghost shall roam our country crying in despair over my terrible life”

That had been enough to make Azriel pack Cassian’s belongings and get his brother the fastest horse available.

“If it were not for the laws of this land” Azriel had mumbled after he had bid his brother farewell, wishing a good trip and forbidding him to appear in his office again until he had fixed that mood of his.

Breathing in the clear and fresh air of his home, Cassian was able to momentarily forget his troubled heart. But one look at the blue sky and he was reminded of the gray-blue eyes belonging to the lady who had made him, General Commander of the British Army, who had enough condecorations to fill his whole coat and who had made enemies tremble in fear when faced against him, wallow in self pity and misery.

Lady Nesta Archeron.

Her name alone was enough to make his chest tighten in longing.

Feyre’s oldest and most notorious sister, if not by her breathtaking beauty and intellect but by her ruthless and dismissive regard to the oposite sex. Whereas Feyre had surprised society by marrying before her older sisters  — and securing herself the best of matches of the season at that with his brother Rhysand, which was nothing but a Duke  — and Elain had enough suitors to fill a ballroom, the oldest Archeron did not seem inclined to marry at all. Oh she did catch the eyes of more than one gentleman  —  Cassian could vaguely reckon that she had had a long courting with Sir Thomas Mandray, although it had ended rather abruptly — but no one had been able to snare her heart.

That had been what had initially peaked his interest. He had briefly seen her at Rhysand’s wedding, attempting some small talk that was easily and diplomatically dismissed by her. He had then relentlessly engaged in conversation with her in any opportunity he could find, being it from the few occasions in which she frequented Feyre’ small reunions over tea or when he coincidentally met her during her daily walks around town to visit Lady Emerie, a modice whose popularity was raising tremendously after Feyre’s bridal trousseau and wedding dress were all designed by her.

It was not until Feyre’s first official gathering as Duchess that Cassian realised the depths of his feelings for the sharp eyed lady.

He had been watching the ballroom from the sidelines, trying to escape the mob of scary mamas who wanted to throw their daughters at him, a glass of champagne in his hand.

Rhysand and Feyre had already danced the opening song, so the floor was now free to hold more partners. Both Cassian and Azriel had danced once with Morrigan — Rhysand’s cousin and a dear friend of theirs — and Elain had enough names on her card that they’d have to wait a fortnight to dance with her. Nesta on the other hand…. she had refused all invitations, although one could not help but wonder why by the way she seemed to glow whenever a new song was played.

“Lady Archeron” Cassian had greeted, bowing deeply and throwing at her his best smile, one that usually had young ladies fainting and old ones blushing.

But not Nesta Archeron. No, she had only deigned to make a polite bow and look ahead.

“I could not help but take notice of how entranced by the music you appear to be, my Lady” he had offered her his hand “Would you do me the honour of allowing one dance?”

That had caught Nesta’s attention, and she turned towards him, her gray-blue eyes finally meeting his hazel ones.

“I do not think why I should. I am perfectly satisfied to watch from the sidelines” she raised a perfect manicured eyebrow, glancing in the corner where the mamas and their daughters were “I am sure many other young ladies would rather have my place”

Cassian knew she was lying. Knew she desperately wanted to dance, but something was holding her back.

“It is said that dancing is the best way to encourage affection. Even if one’s partner is barely tolerable” he had nonchalantly said

“I beg your pardon” Nesta had exclaimed

“The lady has nothing to fear. I will not let you suffer ridicule because of your poor dancing” he had said in a patronizing tone, if only to see that fire in her eyes ignite.

And to see her accepting his offer with a murderous intent.

They had moved to the center of the ballroom, shocked faces all around them, both from the fact that Nesta was joining the dance floor and her partner being him of all gentlemen.

Cassian had never been proved more wrong once the first string from the violin was drawn and Nesta moved. He had been sure she knew how to dance, had only said those words to get a rise from her. But to see Nesta Archeron actually dancing… it was something straight out of a dream.

Cassian knew the waltz. His mother had insisted that all three sons have the same education, even though only Rhysand was set to inherit the duchy.

However, when paired with Nesta Archeron one could not be called nothing but a simple object to display her talents. Even the most notorious dancer would pale in comparison to her.

And Cauldron, she knew that. Nesta knew she was Terpsikhore, greek Muse of music, song and dance.

What a fool he had been, what a complete and utter fool he had made of himself. His only consolation was that some good had come out of his childish behaviour.

Nesta Archeron was dancing, and when she danced she threatened to bring empires to their knees, for her beauty got inhumanly enhanced, her delighted smile sending an arrow straight to his chest.

Cassian realised he had fallen hopelessly in love with Nesta Archeron. If he was to be true with himself, he had been for quite some time, since their first exchange of words when she had all but dismissed him as a pesky bug.

And as the last note was drawn, as the whole ballroom breathlessly took in Nesta, in complete awe of her, Cassian decided he was going to marry her.

Was going to propose to Nesta Archeron right at that moment.

Using the excuse of getting some fresh air after the tiring dance, he walked them to Rhysand’s extensive and well lit garden, quiet enough that they would not be interrupted but not so isolated as to risk her reputation.

They had walked only a few minutes in the garden when Cassian declared his feelings. He all but tripped with his words, hoping Nesta could see past his fool’s act.

She had not.

She had refused his hand in the most brutal way, her words so articulately poisoned that Cassian felt himself a young boy again, desperately trying to achieve perfection so his father would dare to spare him more than a passing glance. Would not regret having adopted him into his household and given him a home.

He had uttered an apology, saying how sorry he was that his feelings had caused her such pain and disgust, reigning his temper enough to walk her back to the ballroom.

Cassian left town the same night, and had stayed in his office and headquarters training the new milicia since then, burying himself with work until Azriel grew tired of his awful mood.

Sighing, Cassian brushed his horse’s neck, eyeing the lake.

Maybe a dive in the cold waters of Pemperley would help clear his mind.

~•~

Pemberley was, in Nesta’s opinion, the most beautiful state she had ever seen. Even more than her newly married sister’s dukedom.

“However this house’s lady is, she sure is happy” Emerie commented as the head maid showed them to the music room.

“As if someone could be unhappy with this much money” Gwyn whispered back, eyeing the grand piano.

Nesta was inclined to agree, even more after having seen the library. She could not help but envy the lady. Her husband must be a very cultured gentleman.

“May I show you the external grounds? I am sure the gentleman will find it quite delightful” the head maid said, looking at Balthazar, the only men among their group of four.

“I am most grateful for your hospitality” he answered, and they promptly moved outdoors.

Their party of four had been travelling through the countryside for almost two weeks. It was as much as a vacation for Emerie and Balthazar — with Emerie’s shop the season’s current sensation and Balthazar being her current business partner  — as a time out from the ton, which Gwyn — the most required opera singer of the season — had announced to be in desperately need of a vacation from.

As for Nesta, she had always wanted to travel, but as a single woman of marriageable age without a male relative to escort her, it would have been a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.

When Balthazar had offered to escort both her and her friends Nesta had wanted to shout in delight.

Secretly, she also wished to avoid a certain gentleman, one whose heart she had mercilessly and regretfully broken.

Nesta shook her head as she walked through the garden, distancing herself from her party to think and remember.

Remember how she had enjoyed dancing with Lord Cassian.

How her body had sung and heated where his skin touched hers.

How she had found herself smiling and agreeing to take a stroll with him, using the excuse of feeling overwhelmed in the crowded ballroom.

How his smile had faded once she tore at him, throwing every hateful word his way to refuse his proposal.

Nesta had not seen Cassian since her sister’s ball, but she did not want to risk an encounter.

That trip could not have been more well timed.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice her hair getting caught in a low tree branch, ruining her intricate updo.

“No one is around” she muttered to herself as she took off the pins holding it in place “A few minutes with my hair down will not hurt”

So Nesta took each pin off, massaging her scalp as she walked in the direction of the state’s lake, the sun shining over its  clear waters.

And that is when she spotted him.

Cassian.

Cassian was at the lake.

Cassian was shirtless, dripping wet by the lake’ shore.

Nesta knew she should turn around and forget what she was currently seeing.

But she could not take her eyes off of him.

Seeing a shirtless man in person was indeed a far cry from what her imagination conjured when reading romance novels.

Especially the way the water was running down Cassian’s tanned and hard torso, all the way down his pecs and stomach — was that a six pack or were her eyes playing tricks on her? — until it collided with his pants, which were hanging so low on his hips that Nesta could not help but feel a weird sensation low in her stomach.

Her legs stopped obeying her, and she swore her knees got weak when Cassian noticed he had company.

“Lady Archeron?” he exclaimed, as if he could not believe his eyes.

“Sir!” was all she could say, feeling her cheeks warming.

Cauldron what was wrong with her? It was just a body. A very nice, very wet muscled body and—

“What may you be doing here?” Nesta quickly inquired, cutting her errand thoughts.

“I am the owner” he simply answered

“Of the lake?”

She wanted to smack herself. How could have she blurted such a stupid and rude question?

“Yes, of the lake. And of Pemberley” he answered, amusement lacing his words.

“I didn’t know. The head maid said all the family was not home— we should not have presumed—”

“I returned without prior notice”

“Excuse me, are you and your sisters in good health?” Cassian added, and Nesta dared to think that he sounded a bit nervous.

“Yes. Yes they are. Thank you, sir” she managed to answer, her eyes firmly placed upon his face and not anywhere else.

“I am glad to hear that” he licked his lips and Nesta could not help but wonder if they would be cold due to the lake’s water or if Cassian’s unbothered face meant he was not cold at all.

Was she really inquiring of how his lips would feel against hers? Against her skin? If kissing Cassian would feel as dreamily as her novel's kiss appeared to be?

Nesta hated him.

Did she not?

“I had never seen you with your hair down”

Cassian’s words took her out of her reverie, and Nesta suddenly felt self conscious.

“Do excuse me for showing myself in front of you with such an unsightly appearance” she felt mortified. To have Cassian of all people seeing her like that, hair in complete disarray….

Nesta quickly turned around, fumbling with the hair pins in a vain and desperately attempt of redoing her hair.

“It’s beautiful” she heard Cassian saying in a breathless voice, and thanked the Cauldron her back was turned so he would not see how her face warmed considerably, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Let me help you” he quietly added, and she gasped at the proximity of wet, shirtless Cassian, who touched her hair softly.

“How come a gentleman such as you knows how to hairstyle a lady’s hair?” Nesta asked, feeling his warmth on her back, a tingly sensation between her legs when his fingers brushed her neck.

“I frequently helped my younger sister, Georgiana, fix her own hair in the occasions she played a little too far from what would be deemed proper for a young lady” she felt his hot breath against her neck as Cassian laughed “She favours outdoors activities such as horseback riding, although she’s quite accomplished in arts and music.”

“Your sister sounds lovely” Nesta said, turning to face him once she felt he was done fixing her hair.

“She is my brothers’ and mine whole world. There’s nothing we would not do for Georgiana”

Nesta felt her heart warming at his words, at his devotion and love towards his family. She wondered if he would do the same with his wife.

If he would have acted the same way towards her had she accepted his proposal.

Unbeknown to her, Cassian was imagining the same thing.

He was picturing how he could have helped her every morning with her hair if she had agreed to marry him. Instead, he would have to live with this one memory forever.

He was lost in her eyes, their bodies so close they were sharing breaths and Cassian was holding back by a sliver thread of self control to not hold her against him.

If it were not for the appearance of three people — Cassian supposed them to be Nesta’s companions — he very well could have done that.

“Excuse me” Cassian abruptly said, bowing deeply and leaving Nesta alone.

Although soon her friends joined her, Gywn and Emerie bombarding her with questions seeing her ruffled state.

Their party was getting ready to depart when Cassian appeared again, having ran inside to get changed and appropriate.

“Lady Nesta!” he called before she could get inside the carriage “Please allow me to apologise for not receiving you properly just now. You are not leaving?”

“We were, sir. We have already imposed too much” she said, spine straight and looking every bit the regal queen she was.

What he did not know was that was her way of maintaining a cool exterior and not blush remembering his naked figure.

“You are not displeased with Pemberley, are you?” Cassian asked, anxiously brushing his hair back.

“No. Not at all”

“And you approve of it?”

“Very much” Nesta said softly, a dreamy smile on her face as she remembered the library “A few would not approve”

“But your good opinion is rarely bestowed and therefore more worth earning” he said, and his smile was enough to make Nesta’s heart skip a beat.

Why was she feeling in such a way, she wondered. Why did her body feel hot and strange all over whenever Cassian was involved?

“Thank you. That is very kind of you”

“I shall not hold you back any longer” he said, helping her in the carriage, his calloused hand a stark contrast against her soft one “I will call on you and I hope you can introduce me to your companions. Perhaps we may go fishing tomorrow? My property is blessed with an abundance of them”

“We would be delighted to. Thank you, sir’

After the farewells were bid and Nesta’s carriage was only a distant dot in the horizon, Cassian got inside, smiling broadly at his head maid and butler.

“You are very chipper, sir'' the old woman said with a knowing smile, the butler agreeing with her. Their lord had been mopey for quite some time now, so it brought joy to their hearts to see his mood so high.

“I had a very good evening Mrs.Pots” he declared, thinking about how he should swim more frequently in the lake.

A few miles from Pemberley, Nesta stared at the scenery lost in thought, Cassian’s touch lingering in her hand all the way back to the inn.

•

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{Please let me know if you’d like to be added to my Fixed Tag list}

[dragonseattofu]

NekuShiki question time! #2 :)

Who said "I love you" first? When?

Do they ever go dancing? How does it go?

Who is more affectionate with the other?

First I love you

The person who I envision to say the first “I love you” in the post-NEO world would be Neku. Pre-NEO I would hands down have thought it would be Shiki, because out of the two I feel like Neku’s more of an awkward sort and wouldn’t know how to put romantic feelings into words. But after NEO I feel like Neku became a little better at conveying his feelings and here’s why:

He watched her exit the elevator. She was talking to someone holding a camera bag, possibly the photographer she had just hired a couple of days ago. He remembered their evening meal yesterday, one he had to pry her away from her work to partake in, relating to her upcoming photoshoot. He learned their usual photographer had double booked and she had to scramble to find a replacement. The replacement looked young, around their age, and seemed to be bowing a goodbye to her before walking towards the exit behind him.

Neku continued to watch her, as she pulled out her phone from her Mr. Mew purse. Shiki tapped furiously at the screen, with speed rivaling Nagi, and seconds later he felt a buzz in his pocket.

After tucking her phone back away, Shiki moved toward the turnstiles situated near the door and finally saw him. It took her a second to overcome the surprise, he didn’t tell her that he was coming to pick her up, but she immediately brightened as she walked toward him at a steadfast pace.

How many days, months, years had he waited and hoped for to see a sight like this? To feel like this? Like his chest tightening in anticipation of her being in his arms, his cheeks warming at her smiling at him for simply … existing? How long had he spent thinking about the life he could have had with his friends, with her?

When Neku was dropped into the Shinjuku UG, he went into shock. Why? Why was he back when he was banned from ever playing the game again? He had just gotten his life back. He finally didn’t feel so alone in the vast seas of Shibuya.

But then he got shot … again.

His cynical side thought, maybe this was his retribution. He didn’t deserve friends, not after what he did to him…

But then he remembered them, and what they had all said to him.

“Let me in! Tell me what you're thinking!”

“Give up on yourself, and you give up on the world.”

“You're not my partner anymore man, you're... my friend. So trus' that yo!”

Come on, work with us. A problem shared is a problem halved!

And then he could have sworn he heard her…

“You finally came back to us … I knew you would.”

“I’m so happy you're back, Neku.”

He didn’t remember her saying that to him, but it wasn’t the first time he felt like he saw things that haven’t happened yet, things that could happen if he played his cards right. Visions of a future that gave him some … hope.

Every battle he fought, every new area he stumbled into, every floating thought he passed, all led to this hope that he would get back to his friends.

When he wasn’t fighting to survive, or when Coco was standing watch so he could rest, he thought about them. Was Beat skipping classes still? Was Rhyme learning how to do those ollies Beat was trying to teach her. Was Shiki … was Shiki hanging out with Eri right now? Was she fixing a stitch on Mr. Mew? Did she miss him, the same way he missed her?

His time in the RG after playing three weeks in the reapers game was short, but nothing less than wonderful. Shiki and Neku went on a couple outings together, just the two of them when the Bito siblings had family errands. It started out a little awkward, especially when familiar restaurant and store keepers thought they were an item already. A specific ramen owner was the worst of them all even though his teasing came from a place of fondness for the pair.

Without him realizing, being with Shiki was almost as natural as breathing, and every moment he spent with her was fun, interesting, precious to him.

Neku didn’t get the time he needed to work out how important Shiki was to him before being plunged into the Shinjuku UG, but three years of company to only the disembodied thoughts of lost souls and an occasional “fairy” reaper gave him the opportunity to delve into it. The conclusion he reached gave him the motivation to keep fighting, to keep surviving. For once, he had someone worth living for.

“Earth to Neku?” Shiki waved her hands in front of his face.

He blinked, bringing himself back to the present. Shiki stood on her toes, trying to look at his face underneath his overgrown bangs. He felt her touch his cheek, concern marring her adorable face.

He hates that he brought so much strain to her life. Maybe she could have been happier with someone else, someone who wouldn’t break their promise to go shopping the next day and abruptly disappear.

But then she smiled at him, having noticed that he simply zoned out. And all of a sudden his negativity stopped spiralling and he felt grounded again. He may not feel like he deserved her, but she chose him nonetheless.

She chose to never give up on him, that he would survive the ordeal he was thrust into. She chose to be the best version of herself that she could be while she waited for him.

And then even after all that time had passed, she still chose to be with him.

Neku didn’t know if there was a word that encompassed the overwhelming emotion he felt whenever he thought of Shiki. One certainly felt close enough though.

“Hey Shiki?” He asked, putting his larger hand over her smaller one that lingered on his cheek.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he said that to anyone, if he did at all. Even though Neku had told Shiki almost immediately after his arrival in the RG that he wanted to be more than friends, he hadn’t used that word before. Love was still such a foreign concept that he wasn’t sure he understood it completely, but if there was anyone in the whole world he could associate love with, it would be Shiki.

Shiki’s hand on his face stiffened at the sudden confession. For a hot second, maybe it wasn’t the time or place she expected him to say it. He felt a slight panic from the doubt of her not reciprocating his feelings.

But those thoughts were quickly thrown out when she leaned in and kissed him.

It was a kiss longer than they had ever shared before. She was physically telling him something, but he was a little preoccupied to fully process anything. Shiki pulled away, far quicker than Neku would have liked, carrying the sweetest grin he ever saw on her.

“I love you too, Neku.”

Dancing

Shiki would have this fancy company dinner that she’d have to go to for networking. As friendly as Shiki is, she’s still introverted and the whole event just sounds utterly exhausting. Neku would be her plus one, because even if that’s the last place he would rather be, he’s her partner, and that’s that. She gets well enough along with everyone, but she has to make the rounds and greet everybody, leaving Neku alone at times. Thankfully Eri’s also there, and the girls take turns between networking and keeping Neku company. He surprises both of them when the head designer for Jupes notices Neku’s deep purple button down shirt from Jupes under a Gatto Nero’s half grey plaid - half black solid blazer (it’s visually better in my head than what I just described), and wants to talk to the designer of the jacket. Neku goes full endorsing mode for his girlfriend, and smiles smug when the girls realize they didn’t need to worry about him, much less securing a major deal with a major brand for a collaboration. He’s pretty happy with himself when he hears a version of Someday play on the surround sound. The dance floor opens up, and a couple of people start a waltz.

Neku thinks to himself, it’s an odd thing to have a dance in the middle of a company dinner, but dinners in the fashion industry are often hosted by the most eccentric of people, and he supposes it’s not so peculiar after all.

The melody plays soft and slow, and if he’s honest with himself, it’s a pretty good rendition of one of his favorite songs. He sees Shiki from the corner of his eye, silently asking her to dance as he extends his hand out. She’s surprised at the gesture. Neku’s many things, but dancer’s not one of them. The exaggerated kicks he’s so fond of are sort of hard to move elegantly in. A simple slow dance, he thinks, is enough for him to handle. Her thin finger slipped effortlessly into his hand.

More affectionate

Post-NEO, I feel that both are pretty affectionate toward one another, but in different ways. Shiki’s more physically affectionate, she’s more of a hugger and is always holding his hand, or his clothes, just so she can feel that he’s there. He doesn’t initiate physical touch as often as she does, but he never let’s go, or moves away from it. This happens more naturally as they start dating, snuggles and such.

Neku’s more affectionate verbally. He’s gotten comfortable saying what’s on his mind more often. He’s not shy about complimenting her, she doesn’t need his reassurances but his opinion is important to her nonetheless. He’s a natural flirt; says things that would be considered suave without intention. He would say pick up lines without realizing that they were pick up lines.

Okay, so I’m like not really sure how best to put my thoughts together but here goes:

The Shibuya and Twister kiddos would all be at some fashion function, and the Fret and Beat would comment on how attractive some of the models are. Neku would just be like, “yeah, they are attractive, but they aren’t as beautiful as Shiki.” Him referring to how much he loves her appearance as well as her personality, whereas he knows nothing about these girls so all he is going on is their looks.

And of course Shiki, who has pins in her mouth and is trying to get her models ready, hears this. Her jaw loosens and the pins fall on the floor. She’s essentially flushed and flabbergasted, by what he said and how nonchalant he said it. He looks at her like he said nothing wrong. Then he just smiles at her, and she just stutters out curse words. She doesn’t have time for this.

Notes: I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m such a slow thinker and writer! But thanks again for the ask! The first prompt sort of snowballed. Hope you like it! @doesitringabell, I added a collection on Ao3 dedicated to you for any/all other prompts that end up longer than I had anticipated. Check out the source content.

Also sorry for any typos and such, let me know if you spot any. If anyone is still interested in my rambling mess of Neshiki fanfics/ficlets, don’t hesitate to send me more asks! It might take a while, but just know that my moments of silence are just me tinkering with ideas (writing something, hating it, revising it, writing again, rinse, repeat, then screw this, just take it.)

[peachwritesstuff]

Jojo's Love Languages

hi guys! guess who's back with another headcanon thingie! this wasn't requested or anything, just kinda thought about it! If you don't know what the 5 love languages is, your love language is basically how you show love to your partner, or how you wish to be shown love by your partner! I will be doing both today on all the joestars (1-7, im a gappy kinny but I can't write for him it sucks.) If you want more info on the love languages, here's the link to the website! https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ . This is a gender neutral headcanon, so imagine whoever you want, even you! ~peach

p.s. lemme know if you like this and i'll make a jobro version!

warnings: some spoilers (mostly for part 3, 5 and 6), some angst, mega cheese filth.

Jonathan

Giving~

Jonathan is both Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.

Jonathan tells his S/O how much he cares for them all the time, how much he loves them, how much they mean to him. He's a sweet man, he's gotta tell them how special they are 24/7.

His other way of showing love is Acts of Service, protecting them, doing anything he can for them, getting things they need, if his S/O needs anything he is up and out the door immediately. If his S/O is in trouble he doesn't hesitate, he is immediately there for them and doing whatever he can for them.

Receiving~

Jonathan loves Quality Time and Physical Touch.

He loves to spend time with his S/O! Going on walks, sitting by the river, sitting by the fire and just talking. He just loves it when they both have the time for each other, it makes him feel special, it makes his heart beat so damn fast you have no idea.

Jonathan loves hugs, cuddles, hand holding, you name it. If they place their hand on his cheek when he's having a bad time, he just immediately melts, he likes feeling safe in his S/O's hands. Sometimes a savior needs to feel safe too.

Joseph

Giving~

Joseph is Receiving Gifts.

Joseph says he loves them a lot, but it's not really the type that say Jonathan would say it. Joseph is more into gift giving to show his love. He's kind of a show off and likes to show off how much money he has but in all honesty, he loves showing that he cares and that he listens by randomly buying something nice for his S/O that they didn't ask him for. Then he will probably gift them with a few kisses and some dinner or just a nice night!

Receiving~

Joseph loves Physical Touch.

Like Jonathan, a protector needs to feel protected as well!

He loves when he comes back home to them and lying in bed, talking about his day while they're lying on his chest, running their hands through his hair. It makes this generally on edge man feel at ease.

He also loves PDA and loves when his S/O shows everyone around them how much they love him, hand holding, hanging on his arm, kisses, hugs, it makes him feel amazing.

Jotaro

Giving~

Jotaro is Acts of Service.

Jotaro doesn't show love as much as he feels love, how you can know that he really loves someone is Acts of Service.

Jotaro will go out of his way to help out his S/O, wether it's little things like helping them reach something on a high shelf, helping them move something, or big things like rescuing them from dangerous situations.

They might get a "Yare Yare Daze" from him after any of these, but he doesn't mean anything bad by it, he's just trying to keep his composure, but he really does love his S/O and would drop everything to help.

Receiving~

Jotaro loves Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.

I know this is weird, but hear me out for a second.

Jotaro has a lot of trauma, from losing his friends, to losing his memory, he's got a lot going on in the PTSD department.

Having his S/O there to tell him how much they love him and that they're proud of him makes him feel a little less lonely with dealing with all of it. He loves hearing that he is loved.

He might not sound like it, but he loves it when his S/O kisses him or holds his hand or cuddles up against him. He will dip his hat down or turn his head to hide his blush, gotta keep his manly composure. He will sometimes plant kisses on their head when cuddling or holding hands or when they're sleeping. He wants them to know that he loves them in the most non vocal way possible.

Josuke

Giving~

Josuke is Quality Time and Physical Touch.

This boy is always taking his S/O out to dates or inviting his S/O over!

When him and his S/O go out together he likes taking them for walks, just talking about their days, going to get some drinks from Kameyu and walking by the ocean, or just sitting in the grass at the park and just looking up at the sky with eachother.

He loves inviting his S/O over to watch movies or play video games too! (most of the time he gets his ass beat, but that just makes him fall even harder!)

Josuke is the type of guy to yawn and sneakily wrap his arm around his S/O's shoulder and pull them in close. He will usually plant cute quick kisses on their lips or cheeks or place his head on their shoulder. He just likes holding his S/O close to him, especially when they're upset, making them feel better is what he's good at!

Receiving~

Josuke loves Quality Time and Physical Touch.

It's basically the same as giving for him, he loves his S/O showing these forms of love to him!

He loves when his S/O can spend time with him (mostly the things I mentioned in Giving)

He likes when his S/O shows him they love him by touching him, holding his hands, kissing him, cuddling up to him while they're playing games or watching movies together. Again, basically what I mentioned before!

Giorno

Giving~

Giorno is Receiving Gifts and Words of Affirmation.

Giorno isn't the most vocal of people, but he loves his S/O dearly and wants to show how much they really do mean to him!

He isn't the best at giving gifts, but you know what the easiest thing is to give, flowers!

He will find out their favorite flower and when they're upset he will give them a little flower, either placing it in their hand or putting it in their hair. Sometimes when maybe a special event comes up he gives them a bouquet, every one of them different from the rest, even leaving a little sweet note with it.

He also uses his words, again, he's not the most vocal of people, but he will still tell his S/O how much they mean to him and how much he loves them and how great they look! Usually keeping it simple in person, but getting a lot more deep with poems or letters (even though he's not very good at them).

Receiving~

Giorno loves Words of Affirmation.

Sometimes, Giorno can doubt himself a lot, so his S/O telling him how amazing he is and how good he's doing and how much they love him is all he needs!

His life is hard, with losing his friends and his home life being weird in the past it can be hard for him to think on the bright side of things and think about himself in a good way, so his S/O telling him good things about him to remind him is always amazing to him. This is how he feels loved.

Jolyne

Giving~

Jolyne is all five.

Now, I know this is strange but let me go through all of them!

Words of Affirmation - Jolyne will tell her S/O all the time that she loves them. Unlike her father, she's very vocal about a lot of things, yeah somethings she will probably say something while they're both joking around or when she's frustrated, but she wants her S/O to know she still loves them! She is vocal about her love towards her partner.

Acts of Service - They need something from the store, she's on it, they need protection, she's on it, they need her to tell someone on the internet off, oh she's there before you even ask! She will do anything for her S/O, she has a little bit of trust issues from Romeo, but she knows that her current S/O means her no harm (as long as they don't make her bury a body-).

Receiving Gifts - Jolyne loves showering her S/O with gifts, even if it's little things like candy! Especially when her S/O is sad, she will take them to the nearest drug store and pick them up anything they want!

Quality Time - Jolyne always loves spending time with her partner! She loves building pillow forts and watching movies, having her S/O falling asleep in the middle of the movie, so cute! She doesn't really like going out to eat, so she would probably just get food delivered, when they order food they usually swap who gets to choose the food that night, but if her S/O is having a bad day she will let them choose.

Physical Touch - Jolyne doesn't show physical too much, not really big gestures, but like Josuke she does the little things like placing her arm on their shoulder and pulling them into her on the couch and giving them little kisses on the cheeks and lips!

Receiving~

Jolyne loves Quality Time and Physical Touch.

Like before, Jolyne loves spending time with her S/O and gets pretty sad when her S/O isn't around, so if they ever go out of town you bet your ass they're getting the best night of their life. Movies, food, make out sesh, living the dream baby!

Just because Jolyne isn't the best at touching doesn't mean she doesn't like it! She loves when her S/O is sweet on her! Gives her kisses, cuddles up against her, random hugs, god she loves it so so much! She gets all blushy and they get a "Yare Yare Dawa" from her, but she doesn't hesitate to hug and kiss back.

Johnny

Giving~

Johnny is Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

Even though Johnny is paralyzed that does not mean he can't protect his S/O! He's such a stubborn man he would hop on Slow Dancer right away to protect his S/O or get them something.

Johnny is awkward, but he will still show love by doing little things, like small kisses or hand holding, he's hesitant at first, just because, again, he's awkward, but he will eventually get there, you know, with his face bright red while he's doing it.

Receiving~

Johnny loves Words of Affirmation.

Johnny has had not a great past, he regrets all the ways he acted when he was a teen and still regrets all of it and still feels like a horrible person.

When his S/O tells him that he's not a bad person and that they love him and they care about him and that he's perfect he falls for them again. He hates remembering the past, so his S/O being there makes him feel loved and lets him forget how he once was.

Thank you so much for reading! If you want to be added to the tag list dm me! Love you all!