#in all honesty this is very easy to interpret

[violent138]

“I'm just going to list a few examples of what I mean." Clark Kent said agreeably, “Off the top of my head, so I apologize if I don’t get everything.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Bruce Wayne waved a hand, drinking some water. 

“Okay, let’s see,” Clark stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Batman, the Penguin, Catwoman, Killer Croc, King Shark, Magpie, Man-Bat, Professor Pyg-”

Bruce Wayne looked slightly alarmed, the glass pausing on its way back to his mouth as the journalist kept going.  

“- Firefly, El Flamingo, Talon, just to name a few.” Clark finally gulped in a breath, smiling. “Do you see what I mean?” 

“I guess we have a lot of crime compared to Metropolis.” Bruce Wayne shrugged, smiling balefully and the live audience giggled. 

“Aside from that,” Clark asked, smile firmly in place. It unnerved Bruce a little, how the man didn't seem to blink.

“There’s no pattern, no pattern at all you’re seeing here?” 

Bruce Wayne leaned back in the chair, frowning slightly. “Can’t say that I do-”

“You got a city full of furries on your hands.” 

[just-a-creep-babe]

Are your requests still open? I'm not sure about your time zone so I hope it's ok if I ask how would you think relationships with the creeps would be realistically? Like how would Jeff, Masky, Ej, and Ben act if they were real and actually interested enough to date someone? I was just interested in your interpretation since I really enjoy how you write them! ✨

I feel like I’ve maybe gone over a few of these points before but I can’t remember for certain 😬

Either way, I hope none of these were too repetitive!! And tysm!! 🥰🫶

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

Jeff the Killer

It’s no secret this guy’s crazy egotistical

So as soon as he sees someone he’s interested in, it's like he just needs to have them

They’re an ego boost; a prized trophy that further proves he’s better than everyone else

He almost doesn’t see them as a full person, but more of a commodity

Really, it doesn’t matter whether or not they want the relationship—as far as he’s concerned, he knows what’s best for them

And, coincidentally, what's best for them is him

He's a super controlling partner

Literally the embodiment of your body, my choice

Part of him expects his s/o to pliantly conform themselves to his every whim and desire

But the other part secretly thinks it’s super hot when they talk back to him

He's always liked the feisty ones, and it gives him the perfect excuse to put them back in their place~

In terms of emotional intimacy, his partner really shouldn't expect much

Jeff mentally blocks all of that kind of stuff out, and he thinks people who are open about it are weak

At best, he'll ignore his partner's efforts to connect with him on a deeper level

And at worst, he'll belittle them and use their vulnerabilities against them as a manipulation tactic

So it's overall best to keep some amount of emotional distance from him, in all honesty

The plus side to dating Jeff is that he's super protective

To the point of it being suffocating, so it isn't all that much of a positive, but I digress

Since he sees his partner as his possession, and since he's very protective of his things, he'll be damn sure nothing bad happens to them

And everyone better damn well know that they're off-limits or he will remind them by carving it into their skin

At the end of the day, Jeff primarily wants sex, first and foremost

And secondly, he wants someone that'll inflate his ego; either by being a pretty piece of eye candy by his side or by constantly gushing over him and blowing smoke up his ass

Deep down, he does want someone to care for him—someone he could love and trust, and who would protect him as much as he'll protect them—but he's way too emotionally damaged to even admit he wants that

He definitely doesn't make it easy to love him

BEN Drowned

Honestly, a relationship with him would be relatively chill

All he really wants is someone to fuck and hang out and game with

He does have a dark side, which manifests as possessive/obsessive behaviors and manipulative tendencies, and a good dose of neediness to top it all off

But it's to be expected

And, really, if his s/o just behaves and gives him all of their love and attention, then it's not like they have anything to worry about, anyway

As long as they game with him every night for at least 3 hours, have sex with him a minimum of 4 times a week, answer his texts within 10 minutes, and never spend more time with someone else, then everything's fine

He's prone to spying on them through their devices, especially if they don't do the above-mentioned things to his liking

And he'll use anything in his arsenal to ensure that they stay wrapped around his little finger

Like I said, super needy and manipulative

He'll fuck with their self-esteem, their worldview, their perception of the people around them until they can't imagine living without him

He'll become their world; he wants their life to revolve around him and him only

And if things don't go his way, it'll only get worse

Much worse

He's not above eliminating anyone he's jealous of, or even isolating his partner until they don't have a choice but to accept him back into their lives

He will fully turn psycho if he, for whatever reason, thinks that he might be losing his partner

But until that time comes, until the relationship reaches that point, it'll all be smooth sailing

He's smart enough to know just the right amount to push things to keep the relationship afloat for as long as possible

Which, despite being one of the chillest partners on a surface level, quickly makes him one of the most dangerous ones when things go south

He'll stop at nothing to keep the person he likes

And his partner will never be any the wiser of the darkness that lurks behind his easy-going intentions

They better hope they never reach the tipping point that reveals his true nature

Eyeless Jack

He's actually the chillest creep to be in a relationship with

Unlike the others, Jack firmly clings to those remaining scraps of humanity within him

If he hadn't been transformed, he'd be a perfectly fine and well-adjusted member of society

So a relationship with him would be like, well, any other relationship with a normal person

He has his emotional hangups here and there, and he isn't perfect; he struggles with communicating his feelings and intentions, and he can close himself off when he's following down

But that's par for the course as far as relationship difficulties go

The biggest issue that'll come up that probably doesn't have a Buzzfeed article to help you out is dealing with his demonic side

But even then, he's gotten fairly good at controlling himself, so it'll never be too disruptive—as long as his partner keeps an open mind about the whole thing

He'll be more possessive, and he'll get jealous more easily, but he'll never lash out at his partner because of it

If anything, if he smells someone on his partner, he'll just want to scent them—so all he needs is some physical contact to reassure him

He can get insecure about his nature from time to time, but again, a bit of reassurance goes a long way

Honestly, the most dangerous thing about dating Jack is probably his urge to mark his partner

Marking a human has a few... complications, to say the least

He's naturally bound to get more possessive and much more sexually needy, which could lead him to injure his partner

But, you know, that's just part of the risks that come with dating a demon hybrid

A relationship with Jack has its ups and downs, which honestly might get more intense than a regular human relationship, but even then, a lot of humans are far crazier than Jack, even despite his nature

Even though he deals with some pretty powerful entities, he'll make sure his s/o is safe at all times—no one will ever be able to hurt them

And even though he's a cannibal, he'd probably be too protective of them to take a nibble out of them

Like, sure, he'd love to taste them—and he'd be willing to bet they taste divine—but even if they'd be open to trying it, he wouldn't want to risk it

Overall? 10/10, can not recommend dating this man enough

Masky

Masky's very hot and cold in a relationship

The stress of work combined with the physical and mental strain of being in Slender's proximity all the time does not make things easy for him

He's prone to lashing out, closing himself off, abusing whatever substance he can get his hands on, and generally spiraling out of control

Which does not make it easy for his s/o

Since Slender took an interest in him when he was still fairly young, he's almost always had symptoms of the Slender Sickness, so he's not super experienced with long-term relationships

Meaning that alongside dealing with his mood swings, his partner will also have to guide him through the ups and downs of dating

Which is just a whole extra set of difficulties his s/o will have to face

Being in a relationship with Masky really isn't easy

But the thing is, when things are good with him, they're really good

It's like he only knows how to operate on extremes; his lows are incredibly low and his highs are intoxicatingly high

When he's on a high, he'll make his partner feel like they're on top of the world

Nothing can get in the way of pleasing his partner; not time or money or even the boundaries of the law

He'll shower them with attention and affection, he'll take them on once-in-a-lifetime experiences—he'll make them feel truly heard and loved

Their connection will be like none other; he'll make them feel like they've conquered the world together

But when he's on a down, honestly, his partner might just be better off ignoring him until he gets better again

Which could take weeks or even months

But ultimately the distance will likely be better than being around him when he's going through it

Because although he isn't proud of it, he may get violent and even abusive without necessarily meaning to

And once he snaps himself out of it, he'll be upset to the point where it'll make him spiral even lower

And once he's over it, he'll be right back to gift and love-bombing them all over again because it's his way of apologizing and making sure he won't lose them

As great as things could be with him, and as addictive as he might get, his partner should keep some kind of distance from him—for their own sake

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Hotter Than Texas Teaser

Alright, here you go! Part 4 teaser! Enjoy 😘

“Should we call roadside assistance or something?” you say, skeptically eyeing the wrench in Bradley’s hand.

Bradley gives you an amused look and crouches down before the flat. “You think I’ve never changed a tire?” he calls back over the roar of traffic trying to beat rush hour on the I-10 as he starts to loosen the lug nuts.

“I think you might stain your shirt,” you respond, still sounding hesitant.

“I’ll be careful,” he says, positioning the jack under the Bronco. “Stay back from the road, will ya?” he adds when you walk around the car to observe the flow of traffic.

“I’m looking for a tow truck,” you say absently, craning your neck.

“We don’t need a tow truck,” Bradley replies emphatically. He rises from his squatted position and walks around the vehicle to where you’re standing. “Can you please step back?” he repeats patiently, placing a hand on your arm. “You’re making me nervous.”

You turn to face him, your back to the speeding cars on the freeway. He just missed the last exit when his tire blew, so he had to pull off onto the shoulder, which isn’t the safest place to stop.

“Maybe you should wait inside the car” – like he’d originally suggested – but Bradley doesn’t voice that part.

“I’d rather stretch my legs,” you say, twisting your hips to one side and then the other as though you’re loosening your joints.

Bradley watches you wryly. “Can you stretch them over here?” he asks, pulling you right up to the concrete barrier.

“How’s the tire coming along?” you ask, eyeing the raised back end of the Bronco.

“It’s coming,” Bradley retorts with a smirk. “It’ll come faster if you behave.” In all honesty, Bradley didn’t anticipate the amount of supervision you’d require. Not that he’s averse to keeping an eye on you. After all, you’re pretty easy on the eyes.

You raise your eyebrows at him. “Am I misbehaving?” you ask with a mischievous smile.

Bradley does a double take just as he’s about to go back to attend to the tire. He’s not surprised at the way you’ve interpreted his statement; he meant for it to be misconstrued. Although, now that you’ve responded in kind, he’s sort of speechless.

You push off the barrier and approach him slowly, your eyes holding his gaze temptingly. You place a hand over his chest and Bradley experiences something he imagines is akin to being struck by lightning – but infinitely more enjoyable. You proceed to sweep your fingers over his pecs while Bradley proceeds to dissolve beneath your touch. “You got your shirt dirty,” you say matter-of-factly, as though you might as well be dusting a mantelpiece.

Bradley, very much shaken by this interaction which he’s clearly misread, gulps and takes a hold of your hand before you can continue to brush at him. “It’s an old shirt,” he responds, trying to keep his voice as calm and as steady as he can.

“What if it won’t come clean?” you ask sadly.

Bradley watches you for a moment, captivated and bewildered in equal measure. “I have other shirts,” he reassures you.

“I like this one,” you say, tugging slightly on the lapel.

“Alright, well, I can soak it overnight, I guess.”

“You guess?” you ask reproachfully.

Bradley stares at you in confusion. “Yeah, I guess – listen,” he pauses to emphasize his point. “It’s kind of a dangerous place to be discussing laundry.”

You glance up at him, your eyes searching his. “Are you gonna kiss me, Brad Bradshaw?”

Bradley blacks out for an entire three seconds, then says, “Here?” because he hasn’t even let himself rehearse this type of situation. And now, he’s evidently unprepared. He gulps again but his throat is so dry it feels like he’s been chewing on dust for the last half hour. “Do you want me to?”

[loving-n0t-heyting]

read amebedkars the annihilation of caste, plus arundhati roys book-length historical preface. in honesty i prolly learned more from the latter, which is more than anything a screed against the cult of gandhi as mahatma, tho she does give the impression of a writer willing to selectively present historical facts to paint a narrative. still, its facts shes painting with, and in many cases its very hard to imagine any context that could exonerate gandhi from the relevant charges. certainly a helpful pov to finally read in depth rather than as offhand iconoclastic remarks

the speech itself i think left me more flummoxed. ambedkar is at his best when he is railing against the evils of the caste system and the implausibility of various defences and concessions made on its behalf. this is a pretty easy pitch for me tho, growing up as a westerner without any reason to be invested in the chatuvarna. its like the cagot, such an obviously perverse system from an external vantage point that it hardly seems fair to award credit for thoroughly denouncing it unless youve been raised to see it as natural. still, its very stirring as a bit of skewering, especially of the "moderate" and "reformist" casteist positions it attacks, and of the "caste-blind" socialists and liberals who ignore the internal divisions and acrimony the caste system imposes on their envisioned base

he is more compelling as a symptomatologist than as a diagnostician or prescriber/prognostician. he takes by the end what seems like a maximally anti-"materialist" view of the causes of the persistence of the caste hierarchy: the social phenomenon of caste is due entirely to vedic dogmatism, to the point that advocating social rather than doctrinal reforms (primarily: inter-dining and inter-marriage) is futile and self-defeating. this is the context for his remarks about the need to reject the authority of the shastras. this interpretation of the basis of caste discrimination is accompanied by a shocking proposed solution: a purified and democratised hinduism as a state religion, whose new priesthood and scripture/dogma are to be administered by the state itself. only thus can the plague of casteism be stamped out effectively at the root (retrograde religious beliefs)

the blow of what reads to my own usamerican sensitivities as a brand of revolutionary theocracy and state control of religion is somewhat softened by his apparent lack of ambition in implementing it. he is upfront that he thinks the kinds of anti-caste reform he is advocating are simply impossible in the face of hindu society, a demoralisation bolstered in part by a top-down view of social change on which it is only possible as guided by a societys intellectual class—which he identifies with the class least incentivised to upend the system: the brahmins. obviously i had seen ppl draw the analogy between usamerican antiblack racism and indian dalit suppression, but it had never occurred to me that the topic would invite the obvious caste analogue of afropessimism

on the topic of ambedkars predictions about the future of hindu society, its sort of interesting to place him in the context of the current ascendancy of hindutva on the subcontinent. where ive seen ppl (roy in the preface included) speak of modi and ambedkar in the same breath, its usually (when not simply whitewashing ambedkar) been to take him on board as an ally against the hindutva menace. but im not sure how well the text of the annihilation of caste supports that reading? not in terms of what ambedkar would think of modi and hindutva, ofc; its not at all hard to imagine which side he would come down on there. but at the core of much of his criticism of the caste system is its inflexibility and incompatibility with a modern, cohesive, mobilised nation state and nation-building project. a house divided against itself etc etc. on his view, the system introduced social resentments and hostilities too deep to permit a hindu identity that could effectively unite the national public. one is inclined to say: would that it were so!

anyway these are just rough first thoughts, its very much not a topic where ik a huge amount. still wanted to put them on paper for an audiencxe, just to help clarify them to myself more than anything

[bairdthereader]

Charlie Spring, An Appreciation: Part 1, Courage

Nick Nelson gets a lot of love, and justifiably so; I'll be the first to admit that he's amazing (see my many Nick-related posts as evidence). But I hear all too often that Charlie is leveling up by being with Nick, or that Nick is too good for Charlie. I beg to differ—vehemently—and here's why, part 1 (of 3, maybe?).

I often find myself in awe of Charlie during some of the quietest and least dramatic parts of the Heartstopper show and comics, because his bravery, resilience, and tenacity are displayed in ways that seem inconsequential, but are actually incredibly meaningful and telling. This boy has a thread of steel running through him, whether it's obvious at first glance or not.

We see this almost from the very beginning, when Charlie is assigned to a new form and told that he'll be sitting next to Nick, "one of the rugby boys," and, "I'm sure you'll get along swimmingly." Here is not only Charlie's worst personal nightmare, but also a teacher who is blithely unaware of the terrible position he's just put Charlie in--being placed in close, daily proximity to the type of person Charlie associates with the darkest time of his life. But we don't see fear on his face, or even that much dread—this tells us so much about him in just a nanosecond. There's resignation and bitterness, yes, but Charlie knows he can withstand this, because he's been there before and survived. This is borne out in later conversations with Nick where Charlie assures him that "I'm used to it." This is a horrifying injustice, one Nick rightly calls out, and it shows Charlie's resilience in the face of a degree of cruelty that many people never experience.

This little moment outside of the changing room is another revealing scene. Charlie knows exactly what he's walking into, exactly the kinds of comments and sly bullying he's going to experience in that room. He knows he will have to have his guard up every second, that he will have to prove himself to this group, even though he shouldn't have to. He also knows he'll be fighting his own self-doubt, and so this experience will be a battle on two fronts. (Three fronts, if you include trying to hide his feelings for Nick.) But he does it anyway. Sure, you could argue he's doing it solely to be near Nick, but I think this is also his way of making sure that those boys don't dictate his actions or his life. This is Charlie taking a stand. And this is just one example—he does this over and over and over again, in many different settings and situations.

Case in point, calling it off with Ben. Charlie has been the victim of what is essentially brainwashing and abuse from Ben for months. Ben has told Charlie verbally and shown him physically that Charlie means less than nothing to Ben, and that Charlie can never expect anyone to ever want him or care for him. And Charlie often, tragically, believes him. That Charlie is able to break free of this vicious cycle and take the steps to distance himself from Ben shows his immense inner strength. You can see on Charlie's face (thanks to Joe Locke's inimitable talent) that he can't even believe he's done it. And we have to keep in mind that this happens long before Nick is a real possibility, so we can't say Charlie does this for Nick. He does it for himself.

I do have to include one of the more iconic scenes, because this ⬇️is Charlie's clarion call, his hope, his banner, for the rest of this story. He knows he has a lot of problems to work through, that he's complicated and sometimes hard to interpret, so it's easy to see this scene and think Charlie's words come from a place of insecurity (and of course that is some of what's happening here). But he's strong enough to both acknowledge it and ask honestly that Nick not let those parts of Charlie become the focus of their relationship. He requests, even during this moment of almost brutal honesty and vulnerability, that Nick see him completely, as the whole person he can be, because Charlie knows that person is there inside himself. The self awareness and bravery this takes is enormous.

There are a million other moments like this that I could write about, both big and small:

But I'll end this already lengthy post with this: When one considers the amount of sheer courage Charlie has to exert just to live his daily life, it almost defies understanding. Charlie Spring is a gladiator of the mind and heart, completely worthy of any good thing.

[dogboysora]

My ineloquent two cents re: that one Ryoko Kui interview a couple weeks ago

I honestly don't have a hard time believing that the autism coding in Dungeon Meshi is unintentional. Cuz in my humble opinion, when people try to write autism or any other flavor of neurodivergence on purpose, it usually sucks shit. And the neurodiversity (should you choose to look at it through that lens) in DM is not forced in any way. It's very natural. The characters have their eccentricities and those traits shine through authentically; Kui is not trying to force her characters to map onto specific diagnoses. Just because it's easy to read Laios, Falin, and Toshiro as autistic doesn't mean they have to be. I read them as autistic. They are relatable to many autistic fans. It's an interpretation that makes a lot of sense and has plenty of textual basis, but it also happens to be unsupported by "word of god" and autism is not really a concept within the setting. And in all honesty, I have for a while been tired of people just screaming "Autism! Neurodivergence! DM is about being autistic/ND!" because, while I do find it fun and fulfilling to interpret DM through the lens of neurodivergence, I don't find it the most useful way to articulate its themes. DM is a story about a lot of things. It's about being Other. It's about the nature of Desire. It's about accepting Change or Loss. Just to name a few major themes. These are obviously very relevant themes to neurodivergence, just as much as they are to queerness, or a number of other things. But I do think we lose a LOT when we try and act like it's a Story About Autism, just as a lot is lost when saying it's a Story About Food.

[wildissylupus]

My (hopefully) last complaint about Junkertown and the Junkers before my inevitable Re-write post

Junkers vs. MAD MAX

Alright I'm already on a roll with this and I've already committed myself to doing a rewrite of Junkertown and the Junkers, but I have one more thing to complain. That being the fact that they butcher the media they are referencing, that being Mad Max. For more context this is also coming form an Australian who has never watched these movies, this doesn't mean I didn't do my research, this is just to give context that I myself have never seen these movies.

If you don't know Mad Max is very much Australian media, written by, acted by, and taking place in Australia. Not only that but it very much relies on the world building of the fact that one, Australia is very isolated, and two, the rest of the world is like this. Something that Overwatch fails egregiously off the bat with considering that the rest of the world is not an apocalyptic wasteland and the fact that the thing that caused Junkertown and the radiation was an Omnium. You know, the thing that multiple countries had? There's also the fact that Junkrat and Roadhog are international criminals, how big Austraila is and the travel time between areas are never considered, it's exceedingly easy to leave the damn country (Junkrat and Roadhog again but also Hammond in his new short story). They want to be a Mad Max reference without actually considering the fact that the isolation inherent to Australia is important to Mad Max's setting.

There's also the fact that Mad Max relies heavily on visual story telling, Mad Max: Fury Road not even having a screenplay, it was fully laid out on storyboards. There's also the fact that Mad Max was not about the Australian experience but rather the human experience, this isn't a problem until you realize that every other characters references are very much biased off that characters origin. That or their place of origin is considered when writing them even if the reference for said character isn't from that country.

Another thing is that Mad Max communicates the brutality and disfunction of humanity, society has collapsed and we are left with the worst of it. The theming and messaging does not work with the rest of Overwatch's theming, it also doesn't make sense in universe considering that Overwatch was one, very environment focused, and two, was already sending forces to Australia to help with the consequences of radiation. Why did they let the Wasteland and Junkertown get so bad? Especially in the early Golden Age, and you can't say that it was because of the Junkers cause Overwatch have handled worse. Even before that point. We also have better examples of "the worst of humanity trope" with Talon, and they actually fit the story and world.

The theme they also completely miss in the soulless copy that is the Junkers is the individual connections and the theming or regaining humanity after great tragedy. In all honesty the best way they could have done this would have been to make Howl's rule itself the Mad Max Reference while Odessa's rule was the healing process from that, but no, they made her an overtaxing dictator instead. The gave the Junkers storyline the theme of desperation but no theme of hope, leaving it empty.

The only thing they unintentionally get right is that your environment doesn't necessarily change you, you do. Yes, a change of environment can assist in giving you space to make that change, but you are you no matter where you go. Junkrat and Roadhog don't change cause their out of Junkertown, they stay the exact same. Which is unfortunate because this is just due to them lacking any real depth in canon, an no, Junkrat actually being incredibly smart isn't character depth.

Back to the whole human connection thing, tell me, outside of fanon interpretation, out side of Junkrat's unreliable narration, outside of the interaction with characters he hasn't met in canon yet. Does anyone like Junkrat? Roadhog is there because Junkrat is paying him and because he seems board, the rest of Junkertown hates him, JQ especially. Roadhog doesn't seem to care about anyone, Junkerqueen's only true connection we see is with Hammond, and Hammond contiues to be my favoutite Junker by literally negating all the complaints about Junkertown I've had so far.

Honestly when I started looking at Junkertown lore I did not expect to be coming out saying that the fucking hamster was the best written character but here we are.

This is all also only referencing Mad Max: Fury Road by the way, which is probably what Junker Town is based off of considering its popularity and the time of release compared to Overwatch's. Honestly I might re-do this analysis/complaint if I ever watch the Mad Max series myself. Though I don't think my feelings will change of this, and that is the Junkers are an insult of a reference to MAD MAX. An empty copy at best. This is also coming from the person who often defends Overwatch's writing, I can't defend the Junkers, it's just bad writing.

[creativity-deficient]

An essay on the Tweaks, how I view their relationship with their son, and what it means for their futures

Although I’m not the biggest fan of people who portray the Tweaks as loving parents, all things considered, I also don’t believe they are as evil and malicious as some make them out to be.

I have SUCH a love/hate relationship with those guys, and it’s because as shitty as they are, they’re also both WONDERFULLY complex characters who are just shrouded in mystery. They’ve been on the show for SO long and yet we know so little about them. To be fair, they could be interpreted in any way, as we don’t quite know their intentions, HOWEVER they do seem to love their son in a sense, so crummy as they may be, I do think that there’s a bit more to all of it.

Mr. Tweak is willing to do anything for his business, even at the expense of his morals. We see this exact plot in “Gnomes”, where he is willing to use small children as a manipulation tactic to get people to care about his business.

Tweek is going to inherit the shop one day, and Richard knows this. They BOTH know this. So he’s gotta prepare him in the exact same way HE was taught, to become ONE with Tweek Bros coffee and to ALWAYS put the business first, even if it’s not right. He loves Tweek in his own way, but ultimately he sees him as a business accessory first and a son second.

I’ve also mentioned in a previous post that I think Mr. Tweak sees a lot of his younger self in Tweek. It’s no secret that Mr. Tweak doesn’t seem to view his son very highly, referring to him as “nothing but a sp*z” so to speak, and if Tweek is going to take over the business one of these days, he needs to be sure of himself, not some “twitchy, tweaked out kid”. Richard knows this because HE was once like this. This was how HIS father raised him, and look how he turned out :)

Of course, by Tweek’s age, he was already had TWICE the work ethic, but no matter, just means he needs to push harder, right?

When Tweek turns 15, his father decides that he is finally old enough to learn the secret family recipe, as he and all the Tweak men before him did.

But it doesn’t go as expected, and Tweek has quite the opposite reaction that Richard hoped he would.

He feels appalled and betrayed, and why wouldn’t he? I mean his parents had both been drugging him his whole life, (as well as the whole town), essentially fucking him up for the foreseeable future. Even as an adult he still deals with twitches and tweaks. And they just expect him to be okay with it?? Tweek is a LOT more resilient than his predecessors, and he refuses to let this ruin his life.

But it’s not as easy as it looks. He’s been drinking his parents’ coffee for as long as he can remember, he doesn’t know how to be without it. He’s forced to spend a lot of high school in rehab, missing out on a lot of his teen years. Of course, Tweek has Craig by his side to make the process a lot easier, but it’s still a lot.

This definitely breaks the relationship he has with them, and Tweek finds that he can’t trust them any longer. Or course, his father just sees him as ungrateful. After all, he’s spent so long trying to shape him up into this hard working, young man, and THIS is the thanks he gets? Richard has always striked me as being someone who is nice until he’s no longer getting his way, and Tweek ultimately trying to break the cycle of abuse is exactly what hammers in the nail of their already strained relationship.

Mrs. Tweak is a different story. This isnt the first time she felt her husband has gone too far, we see her stand up for the kids in “gnomes”. I get the feeling that she’s always known what they were doing was wrong, yet she still went with it anyways. Why? Even she doesn’t know, in all honesty. Perhaps she had been manipulated into all of this as well, under the guise that it what was best, being brainwashed into this docile wife who just does as she’s told. Or perhaps it was always to her own accord, and she’s been in on it all along. We really don’t know enough to know for sure.

Her son refuses to talk to her, and she understands why. She’s always has wanted what was best for him, but they’ve gone too far, WAY too far, and things were never gonna be the same now.

But she hopes that, perhaps, with time, there will be some healing.

[atdawnweryd]

Lucia Appreciation Post

I wasn't in the fandom when S1 came out so hopefully this isn't something that everyone has already rehashed to death, but! I want to give some love, and my own interpretation to the S1 Lucia scene.

First of all, I know we can all agree that it is a thing of pure beauty artistically! But beyond that it's such a great scene because of how it shows a very critical moment in Simon and Wille's relationship:

We know that Simon is a caring person. This is one of his core characterizations that comes into play over and over again throughout the series (eg taking on the role of protector to Sara; playing peacemaker for his mother and Sara when they are not understanding each other well, and then working hard to make sure Sara keeps in touch with their mother while she's living at Hillerska; giving Wille 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances after he gets skittish and pulls away in S1, then not allowing Wille to believe he and Marcus are dating because it will make Wille sad. The list goes on!). Seeing someone he cares about hurting or needing help is something that Simon cannot turn his back on, he truly believes in giving people chances to grow.

So, as the scene starts there is a big conflict happening within Simon, and you can see it clearly in the amazing acting by Omar. When they walk into the classroom, he has already calmed down significantly from the anger he was previously feeling- now that he knows that he's not going to get expelled - but he's still upset. He's not shouting or defensive anymore like he was in the music room, he's listening, but still skeptical of Wille's intentions. He maintains a physical separation between them that shows clearly that all is not forgiven yet.

Wille has really hurt him here by allowing Simon to be put into a position where he might be expelled. Where the rich kids would get away with it while the outsider feels all the consequences. More importantly, Wille showed Simon that he didn't understand or anticipate how upsetting that would be for him during their argument in the music room.

But now Wille responds with honesty and sincerity. He doesn't try to beg, plead or excuse his actions, or worse - try and convince Simon that it wasn't a big deal, minimizing his feelings.

And you can see how much that resonates with Simon here. You can see his defensiveness melt away, leaving him feeling a little lost on how to proceed. Does he just forgive Wille right way? Is it enough? Is this relationship even worth it if this is the kind of B.S. he's going to be exposed to around Wille?

But Wille continues. He opens up and makes himself vulnerable to Simon, revealing how important Simon and their relationship are to him.

He tears up, showing just how scared he is of losing Simon. And Simon, who is a caregiver at heart, can't help but respond to that.

(Me too fr, let's have a brief moment of admiration for Edvin's acting and unreal kicked puppy eyes!)

This following moment right here is so important!! The emotional climax of the scene in my opinion.

You can see it in Simon's eyes, the exact moment when he gives in - when he realizes that his feelings for Wille and his need to comfort Wille overpower his own feelings of hurt and frustration.

But it's not an easy decision for him - he looks almost pained, like he has fought a battle with himself and lost. Like maybe he had no choice at all, this was only going to end one way....

He pulls Wille into an embrace, and it's forgiveness, emotional release, and relief that this is not the end of them. Relief mixed with a very strong feeling on both their parts that their relationship has taken on a new dimension.

Before, they had admitted to liking each other, but their relationship was limited to lighthearted (and sexy) hookups, teasing, and generally enjoying each other's company. The honeymoon phase.

But this is the first time their relationship has been affected by external influences outside their control. It's been put to the test, and although they choose to overcome it together, it leaves them shaken.

Wille gets his first taste of reality - that Simon comes from a different world and does not see things from the same perspective, nor will he put their relationship above his family or his morals (ok yeaaa it's going to take a few more lessons for this one to fully sink in, but I said first taste!). Simon is not a sure thing.

And Simon realizes that being with Wille is not all fun and games, but it's something he wants anyways.

This conflict is unpleasant and jarring for them, but ultimately leads to a better understanding of one another, and new depth in their relationship.

They end this scene with a kiss that is pure comfort. Wille, who craves touch from Simon when he needs reassurance of closeness, goes in for one quick kiss before he pulls back slightly, and they just breathe each other in, Simon lightly stroking Wille's hair and cheek. We very much get the sense that there is an intensity between them that wasn't there before.

This scene was necessary to have before their video was leaked and everything went to hell. I don't know that Simon would have been so certain about sticking it out with Wille, or that Wille would have tried defying his mother for Simon if they hadn't gotten this taste of being apart first, cementing their desire for this relationship.

Because Simon is a very good, caring person, yes. But - he's not a bleeding heart who will stick their neck out for just anyone (for example, he doesn't exactly seem bothered that Alexander's going to be thrown under the bus instead of himself). He's the kind of person who generally prefers to mind their own business unless he or a loved one is involved.

I think that this scene is the first time Simon consciously realizes that he's in a bit over his head with Wille, that the depth of his feelings for him far surpasses what he had believed. Because Wille is now one of those people whose needs Simon will put before his own. He has become a loved one.

[five-rivers]

Just One Day (Chapter 1)

During times like this, Iroh glimpses what Zuko could have been if Lu Ten lived.  

It’s easy, almost painfully so, for Iroh to see what he himself would have been.  He wouldn’t have had any reason to change, after all, and he had already been old by the time he’d breached the walls of Ba Sing Se.  But for Zuko?  That’s harder.  

Zuko had been a child, still forming, still being formed, when Lu Ten died.  Zuko’s training would have taken a very different path, if he had been allowed to remain a mere cousin to the crown prince.  

Looking at what could have been for Zuko is like looking into a kaleidoscope.  Even within the confines of the royal house, there are a thousand paths Zuko could have walked.  A diplomat, a priest, a soldier, a scholar, an artist, an advisor.  A spy.  An assassin.

It’s the way Zuko pours himself out of the ventilation shaft, utilizing a economy of motion that could be called graceful that does it.  The utter silence of his movements, the color of his clothes, the brightness in his eyes…  Yes.  Iroh sees what Zuko might have been.  What he might have been used for, in another world.  What even Iroh himself might have been encouraged.

But if Iroh would imagine that world, he might as well imagine any of the dozen others that have crossed his mind over the years.  That countless myriad of what-ifs set on him like a spirit plague.  If he imagines that world, he could instead picture kinder ones.  Ones where the war was over, where Zuko was happy.  

It was immaterial.  What mattered was the here and now.  Here and now, Zuko is none of those things.  Zuko is an exile, a desperate one, chasing after a rapidly narrowing beam of hope that had more in common with the lure of an angler-shark than anything good.

“Uncle?” asks Zuko, voice quiet and rough.  Burnt.

“My apologies, Nephew,” says Iroh.  “You must forgive an old man his woolgathering.”

Zuko’s pinched expression says that no, he doesn’t have to do that and probably won’t.  “You have to focus if-- if we’re doing this.  You can’t be distracted when Zhao is looking over your shoulder.”  His tone is angry.  At least, that is how most people would interpret it.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, I’ve made sure we’re alone.  We’re as safe as we can be.  In the meantime, food!  And more importantly, tea.”

Zuko scrunches his face into an expression that is both delightfully teenage and undoubtedly painful.  His face is covered in bruises and small cuts.  “Uncle…”

“You may wrinkle your nose, Prince Zuko, but every person in the world has at least one virtue, and Admiral Zhao’s is excellent taste in tea.”  He smiles as he sits down and reaches for the pot.  “Although, I am sorry to say that his virtue is a very lonely one.”

Sadly, this does not get the laugh Iroh was hoping for.  Zuko’s scowl may, however, become slightly less pronounced.  He also, once Iroh sits down, falls on the food like a starving man.  He might very well be.  Iroh’s position on the ship and in Admiral Zhao’s retinue has the unfortunate requirement of being in Zhao’s presence, or that of his trusted subordinates, most of the day.  This means that he cannot help his nephew nearly as much as he would like.  

So.  It is, in fact, very likely that this is Zuko’s first meal today.

Although, Zuko is quite capable of theft, when it serves his purposes and sense of honor.  Maybe he is just being a teenager.  Teenagers are hungry.  

Iroh would ask, but he doubts he would receive an honest answer, either way.  

Then, Zuko stops, mid-bite.  “Uncle,” he says around a dumpling, “have you eaten?”

Then again, Iroh is, perhaps, not a bastion of honesty himself.  “Of course!”  He pats his stomach.  “Have you ever known me to miss a free meal?”

Zuko squints at this, then looks back down at his food.  He doesn’t start eating again.  

“Do you ever…” he starts, before pursing his lips together.  

“Yes?” prompts Iroh, hopefully.  

“Do you ever wish,” says Zuko, quickly, the words tumbling over each other, crowding to get out of his mouth, “that you were someone else?”  He freezes, then, jaw clenched tightly, as if he fears that he has spoken out of turn.  

“No,” says Iroh, glad that, at least, this is a familiar fear.  “No.  Prince Zuko, I do not regret my decision to be with you.”

“That’s not what I mean,” says Zuko, clearly frustrated but keeping his voice at a near whisper.  “I mean…  Do you ever wish that you weren’t-- That you didn’t--  That you were a, I don’t know, a poet, or a priest, or a-- a normal person.  Somewhere.  Someone who didn’t… didn’t have to…”  He shrugged.

Iroh blinks.  Not a fear, then, perhaps.  Well, if Zuko wants to stop his hunt, to disappear from the eye of the Fire Nation and more importantly the Fire Lord, Iroh will do his best to make that happen, and with a glad heart.  Although, it would have been far more convenient if Zuko had his change of heart before he snuck onto this ship…

“I suppose all men do so at times, especially men of power.  Otherwise, why would there be so many stories of kings and lords in disguise?  Why would there be actors, or the masks of the Fire Festival?  I confess, even I have, hm, occasionally pretended to be someone who is not Prince Iroh of the Fire Nation, General and Dragon of the West.”  He paused.  “Do you wish for such a thing, Nephew?” best to not use his title and remind him of the responsibilities attached to it.

“I… I have, uncle.”  He looks up, alarm clear on his face.  “Not permanently!  Not forever!  Not-- Not even for very long!  But sometimes…”  He looks down again, a blush spreading across skin that is alternately pale, scarred, burned, bruised, and scraped.  “I wish,” he says, very quietly indeed, “I could be someone else, anyone else, just for a day.”

In that moment, Iroh can see all the things that Zuko wishes not to be, not to have.  He wishes not to hurt, not to be hurt, not to have this weight upon him, not to have this duty, not to be banished, not to be so far from home, not to be part of this war, not to have these memories, this history, not to be betrayed over and over again.

Although, that is probably not the way Zuko is thinking about it.

“But just for a day,” says Zuko.  He swallows.  “Just for a day.  I know my duty, Uncle.  I love our people.  It’s my honor to serve them.”

Ah.  Perhaps Zuko is not, quite, ready to run away with him to become nameless, faceless Earth Kingdom peasants, then.  Well, Iroh always knew this was going to be, how should he put it, a work in progress.  Or, no, that probably wasn’t the best way to put that.  He’d have to think on it.  

Metaphors took a lot of work that the youth of today just didn’t appreciate.

Iroh put his hand on Zuko’s shoulder and squeezed it as tightly as he dared.  “I understand, Prince Zuko,” he said.  “But I hope that someday, the spirits will grant your wish.”

Zuko blinked hard, then went back to inhaling his meal.  A few minutes later, he was climbing - practically levitating - his way back up into the vents.  

Iroh leaned back, sighing.  They really shouldn’t make those things as big as they did.  

.

Zuko crawled to the bend in the ventilation shaft that he’d been sleeping in while Zhao sailed north.  It was near the showers, so while it was unpleasantly damp, it was warm and he could sometimes overhear the officers talking.  

He curled up, tucking in his knees and pillowing his head on the small bag of necessities he’d been able to put together.  He should sleep.  He needed to sleep.  

But to sleep, he’d have to forget all the stupid things he had said to his uncle.  What had he been thinking?  Ugh.  He’d hit something, if that wouldn’t give away his position and therefore his presence.  

Well.  It might not, at that.  Ships were noisy.  Still.  

Still.  

Still, he hadn’t been lying.  But he knew better than to just say things like that.  That’s what got him exiled in the first place.  

He forcefully closed his eyes.  He would sleep.  He had to be rested, to break into the north pole and capture the Avatar.  

.

The sun slowly rose over the arctic horizon, waking all of the fleet’s firebenders, even if for only a moment, depending on their shift.  In his stateroom, Admiral Zhao woke slowly, and called for his aides to brief him.  Decks below, General Iroh, already awake, ran through a set of katas he had not yet taught his nephew.  In a ventilation duct near the officer’s showers, a teenage firebender gasped, coming awake all at once.  But this teenager wasn’t Prince Zuko.  Prince Zuko wasn’t on the ship.  Prince Zuko wasn’t anywhere.  

In the ventilation duct, Kuzon of Hing Wa sat up.  

.

(The moral of the story is ‘don’t make wishes when you’re in a spirit tale.’)

[ptoodle]

Very rarely do I see people ship Fern and Huntress Wizard but when I do I can’t help but feel like they have a fundamental misunderstanding of both Huntress Wizard and Fern’s nature. Like on the surface it’s “haha!!! Plant boy and plant girl!!!! Huntress Wizard likes Finn and Fern is Finn but a plant so they’re perfect for each other!!!!” which just like, completely ignores everything core to Fern’s existence and Huntress Wizard’s complicated feelings toward love.

Fern is just more than just “Finn but plant”. He is LITERALLY Finn, but tainted with a curse. He is built out of fucked up evil twisted magic. Fern spends his entire existence finding his own identity and trying to reconcile Finn’s natural desire to do good with the corrupting nature of the grass curse. Fern’s struggle is internal, and he don’t have the emotional capacity for romance until he sorts his own shit out (which unfortunately due to the curse, he’ll never be able to do).

There's also the matter of the huge gap in emotional maturity between Finn and Fern. The Finn inside the Finnsword missed key moments of emotional development that our Finn experienced from season 6 to 8. Fern wasn't molded by key experiences like The Visitor, Crossover, Hall of Egress, Flute Spell, Don't Look, or The Music Hole. In particular, the massive emotional growth Finn underwent in Flute Spell is what allowed him to start a functional relationship with Huntress Wizard, and Fern lacks that growth. Fern is essentially a version of Finn stuck in season 6, and lacks the emotional intelligence to properly handle a relationship with anyone, let alone somebody as emotionally sensitive as Huntress Wizard.

But enough about Fern. I’m not a Fern expert, and this is only my B-rate interpretation of his character. The REAL egregious mischaracterizations of a Fern x Huntress Wizard ship lay in people just not understanding Huntress Wizard properly. For starters, you have to understand that both Fern and Huntress Wizard are two very magical beings, but their magics come from different sources. Huntress Wizard is a wizard (surprising, I know) and Fern is a CURSE. Fern is an unnatural, malicious magical force. Huntress Wizard would be off-put by Fern’s existence because he is a perversion of the natural world that she ties herself deeply to. Huntress Wizard assumes the role of a sort of “keeper of nature” in the forests of Ooo (as seen in her quest to slay the Grumbo for being invasive in The Wild Hunt), and Fern is a disruption to that natural order. A relationship between the two would never work because Huntress Wizard would be uncomfortable with Fern’s very existence.

There’s also the matter of why Huntress Wizard is attracted to Finn, and how Fern lacks many of the qualities Huntress Wizard likes Finn for. For starters, there’s the matter of emotional development I talked about before. Finn is extremely well-put together during the time he spends with Huntress Wizard in Flute Spell, and it’s easy to see how deeply he respects Huntress Wizard and her objectives. Finn isn’t determined to help Huntress Wizard with her mission to talk to the Spirit of the Forest out of a blind infatuation for her, but out of his natural drive to help people. Finn is very in-tune with his emotions (and can handle rejection like a champ), and Huntress Wizard can see that in him. This emotional in-tuneness is part of why Huntress Wizard so deeply respects Finn. Huntress Wizard seems to value her ability to stay true to her feelings (which even she struggles with; see my Flute Spell megareview for more) is drawn to his honesty and selflessness. Unfortunately for Fern, whether it is because of his lack of emotional development or because of his curse, cannot handle all his conflicting feelings inside him and doesn’t have the same kind of emotional stability that Huntress Wizard is attracted to Finn for.

I could go on and on and list even more reasons to why Fern x Huntress Wizard wouldn’t work, but those stray further into the “headcanon-ey”school of thought and I’m trying to be more objective with my character analysis as possible. I know being complexly objective is impossible and you have to leave a little room for individual interpretation but overall the entire ship is built on a very flimsy basis of “what if the two plant people liked eachother” and that’s it. There’s way more to these characters that make them special, and reducing them to just their visual similarities does a disservice to their character depth and creative potential.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i always considered saiki aro, but you make me really rethink with kubosai. .

THATS SO LOVELY, i know you didnt ask but.. im going to take this opportunity to talk a little about my stance on kubosai and saiki's sexuality.. i mean i have talked about it multiple times but still, lots of people dont see what i see in these things sooo im gonna keep talking about it lol..

(under the cut cuz i made this WAYYY longer than i meant to, sorryyyy..)

i still see saiki as aroace personally !! just not romance repulsed aroace, rather just on the aroace spectrum.. i think hes the type of person to use 'queer' and 'aroace' as umbrella terms for himself instead of caring about specific labels, but if i had to, i would say he fits best with demi based on my interpretation.. (i usually see him as with no preference, but based on the text its easy to see him as having a preference for men too..)

i do get why people would see him as romance repulsed and its a lovely hc, but i see saiki as mlm, at least in the way i interpreted it.. i mean, he almost straight up says he has a crush on satou in the manga.. its great if people interpret it as a 'squish,' but i personally dont see that,, he kinda blatantly threw them in a romance chart together, blushes every time he sees him, etc. HOWEVER aroace people who relate in some way and project their experiences onto saiki will ALWAYS be valid, so i dont care !! i literally do that lmfao im an aroace lesbian,,

anyway, saiki has a lot of silly tsundere moments that lots of people who dont really look at the show past surface level (and usually dont read the manga) see as him literally hating his friends, family, romance, etc when its very much shown how hes being a tsundere and he LOVES his friends, family, AND romance.. (canonically loves romance not as in he definitely experiences romantic attraction, but as in he just is weirdly into love stories and such but wont admit it lmao, i talk about that chapter where he gets obsessed with those strangers love story he saw with psychometry but its just so good lol..) so i think that misinterpretation is where a lot of the discourse in this fandom comes from, like people who think he GENUINELY hates teruhashi ? they r literally best friends he cares about her so much..

kubosai is a ship i started loving, not really from seeing their canon interactions, but from analyzing the characters in the manga and seeing who i think would actually fit together and have a good dynamic..

im very weak for characters who are ashamed of their dark past, afraid of their own strength and that they might hurt the people they love, scared to tell their loved ones their secrets, etc.. and kuboyasu and saiki fit the bill perfectly, so i looked at them and immediately thought BOOM what if they were in love..

their dynamic is fun, even though we didnt get a lot of canon interactions.. theyre so similar yet SO different at the same time..

they both have pretty tragic pasts and family lives, both VERY protective of their friends and family and would do anything for them, both have bad coping mechanisms (mostly refusing to acknowledge that anything is really wrong at all), etc.. and yet, theyre almost opposites in the way they actually carry themselves..

saiki appears apathetic at all times in front of others even though his internal monologue or how he expresses himself when hes alone can be really emotional.. kuboyasu is pretty happy all the time even though he has pretty thinly veiled anger about half the time..

kuboyasu is just a human boy who was taught to take up as much space as possible for his survival, defend himself with his fists, honesty and loyalty and trust are essential, etc, while saiki is an almost-god whose upbringing taught him to try his best to take up NO space at all for his survival, dont get involved unless its from afar, dont get close with anyone, dont trust anyone, etc..

saiki prefers to protect his people from in the shadows, going as far as to literally stalk them to make sure theyre okay without their knowledge, while kuboyasu is unafraid to show how much he cares and prefers to literally come out swinging to protect his people.. put them together and you get two silly guys who will literally protect the other with their life despite knowing damn well that theyre both fully capable of protecting themselves..

kuboyasu is also like.. one of the only people in the cast other than saiki who can be like.. a voice of reason sometimes.. he would be so good for saiki and would make damn sure he knows when hes being irrational or dramatic (because cmon, its saiki.. hes such a drama queen all the damn time..) and i just think he needs that in his life..

yasu would reign saiki in when it comes to his everyday dramatics, and in turn saiki would reign yasu in when it comes to his over the top romance standards (and probably his anger issues and overreactions too..) and yet at the same time they would take comfort in each others silliness.. saiki may be like "we cant just drop out and get married, thats not how it works" but isnt it so refreshing for him to have someone that cares about him so unconditionally ?? unlike his own family ?? itd scare him at first, but hed make yasu tone it down to a healthier extent and itd become soo comfortable..

[bird-inacage]

Love Sea: Fortpeat's Letters to Mahasamut & Tongrak (Q1 - Q10)

Here I go again into detective mode. I've been searching through the letters that the cast have written to their characters, to see what further hints are to be found on Mahasamut and Tongrak.

🌊 Maturity through Hardship

Mahasamut may be the younger of our two, but he's been through a lot. "Your life has never been easy", which indicates overcoming odds that are stacked against you. It's those life experiences that have led Mut to become very mature, someone who is both "reasonable" and "thoughtful". He can come across wiser than his years, to the surprise of those around him (including Fort himself apparently). He notes Mut's ability to "see through people's true nature", which alludes to insightfulness and a good judge of character. It could also mean the ability to see the good in someone, despite how they present. It's easy to forget his real age. Someone whose had to grow up too fast may need a support network that embraces his big kid at times.

🌊 Determination in Adversity

The fact that Mahasamut has already been through so much and continues to experience "heartache and body ache" during the series - which Fort playfully quips 'is that enough for you?' indicates a person whose is astonishingly resilient and welcomes tough trials. (I assume this is in reference to the BTS clips of him looking bruised). It takes real strength of character to constantly pick yourself back up, without becoming defeatist or jaded. To see these obstacles as opportunities rather than setbacks, something to take in your stride as best you can.

🌊 'Live, Laugh, Love': Being True to Yourself

Fort mentions Mahasamut's honesty and his humour. As cheesy as the above motto is, I do get the sense that Mut is a person who strives to live fully, passionately and freely. Who really values life and being his authentic self. And by all means, when you're dialled up to 100 all the time, you could be a lot for some people. Too much of a good thing may be what gets on Tongrak's nerves initially.

✍️ A Lonely Existence

One of the initial theories I made about Tongrak as a writer is that this could indicate a very solitary lifestyle. Peat mentions if Tongrak feels lonely because he lives alone in a big house. This could explain why he has flings, because he's trying to fill a void. Loneliness can be due external factors that are hard to control (such as your career or upbringing causing isolation), or internal (pushing others away or feeling like no one understands you).

Peat makes a point of saying Tongrak deserves to be cared for. He may deem himself undeserving through his own perception of self or via the judgement of others. Aya's letter to Kaimook also mentions that Tongrak needs someone like Mahasamut by his side, as she was running around taking care of him. This seems to imply he doesn't have many he can lean on or turn to.

✍️ A Guarded Façade

Peat mentions how nice it was to play a more relaxed and cute side to Tongrak. A side that clearly isn't privy to everyone. Tongrak may be a bit uptight but it's very likely that his confidence and assuredness is just a persona, and he needs to learn how to let those walls down once in a while. "Everyone can be weak sometimes" can be interpreted as Tongrak feeling ashamed of weakness, or being unable to project any vulnerability.

I think it's natural for creators and artists to seek a little validation. And with that is the pressure of meeting people's expectations, of proving yourself, of opening yourself up to criticism. Perhaps this is also why Tongrak seeks comfort in people finding him attractive. It might be the one characteristic he knows he'll receive guaranteed positive reinforcement for, but it's ultimately not because of who he is underneath.

THEORIES: DYNAMICS TO BE EXPLORED

Optimism vs Pessimism

It seems to me like one of the potential differences between them is Mahasamut's positivity (optimism) vs Tongrak's negativity (pessimism). I just get 'Why?' and 'Why not?' energy from these two. Mahasamut doesn't allow knocks to easily break his spirit or his ability to bounce back. And if we're being cliché, those who grow up in more rural surroundings, whose livelihoods rely on the elements can be more hardy because they've had to be. Whereas Tongrak seems much less secure emotionally. Peat specifically reassures Tongrak that he will get through the hard times even if he is struggling right now, which sounds like a rather disheartened mindset.

Preserving Spiritedness

I have a hunch that Mahasamut's boisterous nature will be what injects some much needed relief or liveliness that Tongrak may be missing in his life. And in response to that, it would be natural for Tongrak to develop a really protective streak over Mahasamut's rare brand of vivaciousness. This would also play into the age dynamic well.

[soracities]

how do you deal with not trying to please others and/or not caring how others see you? i'm always trying so hard, and i don't even know if i like myself

this is something that is always incredibly tricky to navigate and i admire you so much for continuing to try in spite of all that anon 💗 i think, though, that you've identified the biggest obstacle already: until we are able to genuinely like but, more importantly, fully accept ourselves as we are it is always going to be difficult to not be swayed by what others think.

i'm not saying this in the "if you don't love yourself no one will love you" vein which i think is predominantly nonsense, but what i am saying is that, until you are able to build a solid base for yourself--a base that's rooted in self-compassion, self-honesty, and acceptance of both your flaws, limitations and your worth as a person, without pitting one over the other--it is going to be hard to hold your ground and not project your own worries and insecurities about yourself into your interpretation of what other people may or may not think (and i guarantee you, most of the time they are not thinking or looking at you anywhere near as harshly nor in the judgemental way you look at yourself).

being able to fully let go of and not worry about other people's opinions relies, first of all, on trust--not so much trust in other people but chiefly trust in yourself. trust in your ability to assert your own value for yourself, trust in your ability to make the choices you make and trust in your ability to make the mistakes you make and grow from them as a result. trust in the belief and the knowledge that you are a worthy and important person, that your flaws don't undo or erase your virtues, that you can show up as you are and that this isn't something you need to mediate or dress up for someone else's approval, that you are allowed (and expected) to struggle and be imperfect without your dignity or humanity being put on trial for it.

until you are able to slowly cultivate this kind of foundation for yourself, anything else will be built on sand; an inconsequential look, or a thoughtless word from someone (regardless of how harmless it actually is) will feel like the end of the world; it'll be like a gust of wind scattering everything you are trying to do because there is very little internal resistance to meet it or even question it. it can also, in a variety of subtle ways, affect the quality of the relationships around you: if you do not trust yourself to be open and present as you are, and be accepted as you are, you will never attain the quality of the relationships you think you are protecting by showing up in whatever guise you think people most want to see. when we don't allow ourselves to say how we feel, and be who we are, when we veil that with whatever role we think will allow us to be most liked or less likely to be rejected, we rob ourselves of genuine connection--you rob the other person of being able to actually connect honestly with you, and you rob yourself of being able to connect honestly with them. showing up as who you think they want is imposing your own perceptions on them in turn and not giving them the actual freedom to live and experience the truth of their relationship with you. and if they cannot experience that truth, then neither can you. everybody has their insecurities and everybody has their own worries--most of the time these, literally, have nothing to do with you: people project and act out of their own experiences and this happens regardless of what you do. and if it so happens that being yourself does cause the judgement you fear then ask yourself: what is the value of a relationship that can thrive only on one party's dishonesty? what is the value of a relationship that requires one party be constantly hiding?

i'm not saying that any of this is easy, or that it won't take time and effort, nor am i saying that you won't have setbacks. i'm not even saying that you have to love every single part of yourself and that you've failed if you don't--but it is, right now, vitally important for you to find some way of recognizing and affirming your own value for yourself-- not in spite of your flaws but alongside them. it requires a lot of clear-eyed honesty, not for the sake of castigating yourself ("i'm not good at xyz, therefore i can never be abc") but for the sake of being able to recognize where most of your fears and insecurities come from, how they make you act, and how you can then address them in turn. it's putting the things you most dislike about yourself alongside the things you don't, it's seeing how circumstances may have hindered you and affected you badly in the past and putting that alongside everything that you have made it through regardless and recognising that you cannot (you will not) always act "perfectly" or in the way you imagined or wanted, but that are doing so in the best way you can at any given time. and it's recognising that "the best i can" looks different on different days, that they are all bounded by whatever tools you have available to you at any given moment, that you cannot do better until you know better, and knowing better is a skill you grow, slowly, gently, patiently, like a plant you tend from first seed to first leaf.

again, i know it is difficult and i'm not trying to dismiss or diminish that at all. but you will get there, anon, and one day you will get to a point where you no longer recall how difficult it was to begin because you've come so far and grown so much since then. no matter how long, or how you choose to go about this, i will be rooting for you and believing in you with all my heart 🤍

[frecklenog]

ok again i’m only like 2-3 hrs into the 7h Monster Vid on who’s lila (it’s good.) but i hqve. things 2 say

content warnings: discussion of incest, csa, rape, and mental illness both in general and as a means of telling horror stories

will explicitly says that he had a decent childhood with his mom, after his dad ran off

however, it’s implied during the interrogations that will’s past is… well, Not That. not really.

sure, he loves his mom. he cares about her. but there’s also the fact that, when he was fifteen, he brought home a girl — annie — and ms. clarke proceeded to tell her things about will that will doesn’t go into detail about, but says that some parts were true, and some were not.

whether or not that was a lie is up for debate, but i think the fact that he says some of what she was saying was true is worth keeping in mind, especially as it can be implied via the context of annie being a potential romantic interest for will that the things ms clarke was saying were sexual in nature. given her being routinely described as having a strict, overbearing nature, i honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she had abused him not just psychologically, but sexually as well.

due to this being a recollection of a conversation rather that something explicitly shown, i think it’s fair to assume that this could’ve happened at any point between will’s early childhood and him being fifteen.

even if the abuse will faced never took on a sexual nature, his relationship with his mother was traumatic, and will is clearly impacted by it. it’s common to read him as autistic, with his difficulties surrounding properly expressing his emotions (ie. game mechanics regarding his expressions and general reactions), but nothing is explicitly stated, and, to me, as an autistic dissociative, i see reflections of myself in him.

i also want to reiterate a point made by flaw peacock — that being that will can, and does, emote on his own. this can be interpreted similarly to any other rpg protagonist, as it mostly happens within dialogue branches, with the player only influencing will’s expression at certain points.

further demonstrating this is the fact of the game’s difficulty setting. setting the game to “easy” disables the will’s ability to try to move his face on his own, which does its job in creating more difficult gameplay, but also lends glimpses into the individuals who originally steered the body that the player now controls.

i can’t neatly tie this in yet, but will’s presence in a horror game as a character with very clear symptoms of very real mental illness (that i can relate to) strikes me as being very reminiscent of evan kelmp from dimension 20: misfits and magic. evan is an arguably autistic character, but over the course of his life has been subjected to curses that go unexplained throughout the series, but draw direct parallels to “scarier” disorders, such as schizoaffective symptoms — and, in all honesty, may have been misdiagnosed as such.

(personally, i think it’s far more interesting to have characters like this written as both. it’s refreshing to see a character who is genuinely unwell be treated by the narrative in a way that feels good to those of us who can see ourselves in them, and be accepted and come into themselves in a world more fantastic and frightening than our own, just the same as anyone else. it’s part of why i love mismag, and definitely contributes to my own storytelling)

this is far from all of my thoughts, but it’s what i have the energy to write down rn

[rreskk]

Curiosity killed the pussy

Summary: Inspired by one of my first ever fanfics (and most popular), voicemail. This is a... Second? Part? Maybe? I don't really know, but it's a oneshot based on a different interpretation from the first fanfic. Instead of ignoring Trevor's calls, the reader answers (during the dead of night) and you can already tell what this means.

TW: -Smut

Word count: 1813

Pairings: Fem!reader/ Trevor Philips

“Hello?” You had answered, eyes barely opening as you were awoken at 1am by the sound of your phone-call. It was silly really… You didn’t even bother to look at the contact ID.

“Hey, sugar,” A familiar, husky voice radiated from the speaker, “Whatcha doin’ awake at this time? Don’t you have your beauty sleep?”

It was Trevor – his smirk being heard from over the line with how smug and freakish he was – and he didn’t seem sympathetic to wake you. Not at all.

“Trev, it’s 1am…”

“I can read the time, darling.”

“What do you need?” You sat up from your bed, holding the phone close to your ear.

“I’ve been thinkin’ about you a lot. I miss you.” He purred.

It should be too early to feel sudden butterflies in your tummy as he’d continue pestering your half-awake presence, yet it didn’t stop him. You could feel his eyes ogling your profile picture with a toothy, predatory grin. He was easy to predict (in that sense anyway).

“I wanted to speak to you. I couldn’t miss the opportunity.” His whispers growing more seductive and slurred. The deepness, the harshness; it enlightened your ears.

“It’s so late, Trevor.”

“But it ain’t too late to see my precious girl, hm? I’ve been craving for these calls, baby. Remind me; whatever happened to our late nights together?”

There was ignorance like he was planning on escorting this conversation into what he wants. You sensed the manipulation from the long-distant line.

“You had gotten busy in Los Santos,” You turned on the lamp on the night-stand, “It’s only been two weeks.”

“Two weeks?”

“I believe so.”

“Jesus… C’mon, [y/n], that’s been too long, right? I don’t wanna lose our streak.” He softly whined.

“From what I remember, you failed to return my calls. Sooo… You may be talking to yourself.”

“Don’t be bitter with me.”

“I’m not being bitter, I’m just being honest.”

“Your honesty is turning me on. Real bad.”

“Everything turns you o – “

“Incorrect, [y/n]. Everything you do, that turns me on.” He’d snicker.

You rolled your eyes but he seemed to have felt your spitefulness from the phone. There was a heavy rustle from his line. He was clearly shuffling around. There was no wind turbulence nor background voices. It was just him and echoes of what seems to be bedsheets.

“What are you doing?” You asked, hiding back a grin.

The distant sound of his giggles was audible and soon, he returned to his phone.

“What? Missing me already?”

“Noooo,” Maybe you sounded too defensive there, “I was just wondering. There was lots of rustling. Sounded like you were crawling through some bubble wrap.”

“I was gettin’ comfy, princess. Why? Can’t a guy use his own bed?” Trevor playfully huffed.

“Alright, alright. I was just curious, that’s all.”

“Curiosity kills the cat.”

“Does it now?” You smiled.

“Mhm…”

“Is it not mischievous of me to be curious about the background noises?”

“Oh, it’s very mischievous… And deviant. You wanna know what I’m doin’. ‘Cause I know you got a damn good idea…”

“Why might I get in trouble for wanting to know?”

He chuckled lowly, “Immoral, my girl. It’s partially unacceptable to drive a man’s arousal when you aren’t around. It’s painful…”

“Poor baby…”

“What are you wearing, [y/n]?”

You bite your lip and glance down at your loose PJs that were creased and barely stable over your frame. Without knowing of the future circumstances, you went to be bed with no intensions of covering up properly.

“Mm… Just a T-shirt…”

“No bra?”

“No bra.” You confirmed.

Trevor exhaled sharply, the shakiness being heard through the phone-call. What came next was a cruel growl as he seemed to be holding back an itchy urge to moan.

“Fuck… No panties, babe?”

“M’no. Just a T-shirt.”

“Send picture.” He almost urgently demanded.

You subtly murmured in response, “I’ll call back.”

After he hung up, you lifted up your shirt to expose your free breasts and took a Birdseye picture. It was dark, but your lamp helped light up the curves and shades of your figure. Especially your tits.

You took a few seconds to admire the beauty of your picture. You weren’t exactly confident before you met him, but ever since your life had (unwillingly) tangled with his, he had left you completely sure of your own body. Trevor gave you the body worship to leave you happy and proud of your own skin. He loves every inch of you… So you know he’ll drool over this picture, even if it’s low-quality and dark.

You sent an attachment picture of your nudes and saw the status turn from “delivered” to “read.” There was a few seconds to spare. Them seconds took minutes, hours, years, a lifetime. You’d chew on your lip and dreamily caress your breast with one hand. You pretended your hand was his big, scrawny ones – pretending he was there with you – yet the thought was rudely disturbed once that same caller ID phoned you, again.

“…” There was heavy breathing.

“Trevor?” Your voice broke with anticipation and desire.

“I need you.” He finally growled. There was a creepy musk to his pronunciation. He was in heat, the ugly mess inside him causing such a low, stiff pitch to his voice.

And it made you instantly wet; your core shrieking.

“Mmm, yeah…”

“Keep whimpering like that,” Trevor breathed, “I need you on me. I want you, now. Now, now.”

“God…”

“You touching yourself, babe?”

You struggled to hold the phone since your hand, that was preoccupied with your breast, had unconsciously migrated to your pussy. A finger rotated and bashfully slandered your core opening. There was a loose grip, your body growing this natural instinct that he was there to fuck you (thanks to the many times he was there to heal your internal loneliness), so your pussy was free, open; missing some extra contact.

“Yes, yes.” You’d timidly whimper.

“Wanting me there with you?”

“Yes…”

“Me too, [y/n], me too.” Trevor ached. His phone shuffled again and the product of this distraction grabbed your undeniable focus.

A coy, savage noise of his brutish hand was mangling the length of his penis, his skin burning due to the raw contact. It was a naked sound. Your line picked it up easily and your dirty mind had resorted to a fantasy.

“Fuck – “ You grunted and began to finger yourself harder. The thought of sucking him senselessly, the need of his flaming cock. You missed having that intense physical contact with him. You’d be damned if he’d spend more time down Los Santos. Without his touch, you had no business around Sandy Shores.

You’d just wait;

Masturbate alone,

Moan his name,

Call him,

Sext him,

Sleep alone,

Masturbate alone,

REPEAT.

 “Oh, yes, yes!” Trevor outrageously cried, “Mmm, I can see you riding my dick hard, baby. Fuck… God, I miss you. I fuckin’ miss you… GOD!”

You had inserted two fingers now. They were replacing the yearning for his touch, and although it wasn’t enough, it was doing the job. You leaned your head back against the pillow and quietly moaned unattainable slurs of his name, the syllables falling pathetically from your tongue.

“[y/n], [y/n]! Oh, fuck, I love you!”

The mutual pining and alluring hunger between your pleasant whines, sheepish moans. Trevor continued to mount his dick as his ears were out hunting for your supressed groans. He tried to encourage you, but whenever he attempted to verbally execute his plans, they’d fall into piles of broken cries and ridiculous moans. He was loud after all. There was no denying the fact. His big mouth would grow even more whenever he’s around you, or your voice.  

“I want your cock, Trevor,” You were breathless and winded, “I need you so bad, baby… Oh God, I’m gonna – “

“Cum for me. Cum for me, baby. You better show me a fuckin’ picture after… FUCK!”

“Pleeeeaseee!”

Trevor snarled and pushed the phone closer to his beaten cock, his hand jerking the last of his orgasm as he couldn’t help but squirm.

“Shit, I LOVE YOU!” He whimpered, his cock ejaculating the warm semen. He wished you were there to watch. He stared down at his orgasm with a glare before returning his attention to his phone. You were still moaning his name.

“Trevor, fuck, fuck!”

“Gimme that pussy, babe…”

“I’m gonna – GOD! I NEED YOU SO BAD!” You wailed.

“I can hear your cunt from here… Mmm, you fuckin’ slut. Faster, c’mon, do it for me.” Trevor sadistically giggled and continued to listen to the overwhelming stimulation behind your noises.

“I- I, Oh… Oh, God, Oh SHIT!”

 It felt like you were being torn apart. Your fingers were numb, the oozing white cum burning your flesh alive. The relief your stomach felt, the sweat coldly seeping from your pores at the temperature changes. You made a small shriek and grew silent. The phone felt from your vacant hand as it fell upon the mattress nearby.

He giggled from the speaker beside you – “Such a desperate whore… God, I miss you… C’mon, give me a picture, yeah?”

You nodded, even if he couldn’t see, and hung up to proceed with the picture. Your camera was exposed to your cum-wracked pussy, the surface red-hot and cum drooling from your pubes and entrance. It was a perfect mess. You’ve captured the perfect shot and immediately sent it to him.

As for before, it went from “delivered” to “seen” in seconds.

The three dots that would signal his response would start and pause, an irregular pattern that lasted for a few minutes. He was definitely losing it from his side of the screen. You could just tell.  

However, you received a picture back instead.

It took a few readjusted moments for the pixels to clear, and once it did, you quickly stopped your jaw from dropping. Trevor had sent a nude back. His cock, red and bruised, limby sat in his sticky hand. There was a pool of semen upon his small stomach pouch and his thighs, hairy and thick, had small scatters as well.

The caption from the picture included the phrase; ‘Came hard 4 u again… Ur pic hot ASF!’

You giggled and responded with a simple text.

‘I miss you’

He was quick to respond – ‘Miss me sm that u cum hardr when we togetha again’

Like a school girl, you smiled giddily at his message until another text came through.

‘Now get ur beauty sleep. Gonna call u in mrning. Luv u!’

His contact status soon turned offline and you threw your phone aside, unable to contain your enjoyment. Although you were still sticky and wet, the orgasm had knocked you completely. You advanced into your unconscious sleep momentarily.

The excitement of what tomorrow brings had made you dream good, and great.