#in a.. you’re a fucking moron and your internet access needs removing from you

[eff-exor]

cursing them (spelling their name out in alphabet potato shapes and eating it)

[apiarymusic]

If you’re in the UK be careful purchasing from out of country.

Due to the stupid fucking Brexit, items coming in are HIGHLY LIKELY to have additional charges that you will have to pay if you want your goods, even if it’s a personal purchase.

The minimum charge is typically 20% of the full purchase price (so £20 EXTRA per £100 spent).  On top of that you may get charged a delivery fee even if the seller sold with free p&p.  This is not the sellers fault, these are additional charges the delivery company has to go through to get stuff into and out of the UK and they need to cover these additional costs.

You MAY also be subject to assorted other fees, such as paperwork fees.  Average out £65 -£120 in total fees but it can be higher.

Bare in mind, this is ON TOP OF what you have already be paid.

ALWAYS get a receipt.

CLAIM BACK on taxes if you can.

GET A PHOTO of the delivery person and vehicle registration in case of incorrect/dodgy fees.

ALWAYS CHECK THE FEES - we have no idea ATM if they’re being applied properly and asking politely if they can be removed or reduced may help, but it is unlikely.

Thanks all you morons who went for Brexit and voted Tory without doing any fucking research and allowing yourselves to be lied to for a racism driven agenda.  You literally have access to the internet, to smart phones and PC’s.  You have zero excuse for the damage you have enabled.

[liaswritesrobots]

Man Out Of Space And Time Chapter 1

"Hey youse! Get up!" A voice boomed, and not too long after a swift kick came from it's owner.

"Ow!" Rodimus hissed gripping his side after feeling a large pede slam into it.

The flame colored bot slowly turned so that his back was on the ground then raised himself to sit up and placed a servo over his face. He let out some groggy moans then slowly opened his optics to look around after removing his servo.

"Where am I?" He groaned.

"I'll tell ya where ya are. In my way is where! I gotta get back to my crew and youse is just layin' 'ere in da middle of tha woods path ya lazy bum! I should teach ya-" Thunderhoof stops mid threat as he sees the bot stand up and nearly stumble back, the bot's arms swaying a little as if trying to keep balance. The bot has a few good feet on Thunderhoof and smack dab in the middle of his chassis is an all too familiar red logo.

Thunderhoof furrows his brows, "An Autobot!" he shouts angrily.

"Ugh stop screaming, you're giving me a headache." Rodimus replies touching his temples and closing his optics.

"Oh I'll give ya more than a headache Autobot!" Thunderhoof yells as he steps back and kicks his left pede in the dirt, much like a bull getting ready to charge.

Rodimus finally focuses his attention on the other bot. Thunderhoof charges at him with his head down, antlers ready to pin or pierce, whichever comes first. Rodimus lets out a scream before stumbling left, away from the charging bot and falling into some bushes. Thunderhoof rams into a set of trees after missing the flame colored bot and his antlers get stuck in them.

"Ah scrap." Thunderhoof says under his breath.

"Hey what's the big idea?!" Rodimus shouts, "Are you crazy?!" Rodimus picks himself up from the bushes and dusts himself off. He looks over at the elk bot to see him struggling to get unstuck, "Ha, serves you right!"

He walks over and leans on one of the trees, much to Thunderhoof's annoyance.

"When I get outta here Autobot I'm gonna-"

"Are you a Decepticon or something?" Rodimus asks cutting him off.

"Yeah. What's it to ya?"

"Nothing I guess. I mean... I've worked with ex-Decepticons and even regular Decepticons before. I just rarely ever hear anyone use those terms anymore. Especially since the war is over."

Thunderhoof gives the red bot a weird look, "What the pit are ya talkin' about? Yeah the war is over but it hasn't been over that long! There's still cons an' bots runnin' about."

Rodimus gives an equally weird look, "What? Dude... It's been over eight hundred years. Don't you think it's time to let it go?"

"Eight hundred?! Kid, did ya hit your head? Is that why ya were passed out here in the woods?"

"No. At least I don't think I did?" Rodimus scratches the back of his helm, "And don't call me kid." He says with annoyance.

"Eight hundred years," Thunderhoof scoffs as he tries once again to free himself from the tree, "Somebot's got one pit of an imagination." He mutters to himself, "It's been five years."

"Five?" Rodimus asks in shock, "I'm the one with the imagination? Dude where have you been for the past few hundred years?"

"In Nunya." Thunderhoof replies pushing against the trees to free himself.

"Nunya?"

"None ya business."

Rodimus frowns at the Decepticon. He then looks around at the scenery.

"Wait... are we- are we on Earth?"

"Nooo princess this is Cybertron, we wanted to make it a lil' greener," Thunderhoof says sarcastically, "Of course it's Earth ya moron!"

Rodimus looks around more before turning his attention back to the struggling Decepticon, "What year is it?"

"Do I look like a calendar to ya?"

"Fuck," Rodimus says under his breath as he pulls a datapad from his subspace.

He searches for the nearest Earth connection he can use, then, accessing Earth's internet, looks up the year.

"What the fuck?" Rodimus whispers to himself, "What the fuck, what the fuck?"

He panics and turns on his comm link.

"Hey, Captain Thunderclash? Thunderclash can you hear me? Thunderclash come in! It's Rodimus! I- I don't know where I am! I mean, I know I'm on Earth but I don't know how I got here! And something's... off. Thunderclash come in, it's Rodimus I need pick up! Thunderclash?!"

Nothing. All he hears on the other line is a soft static, not his Captain.

"No back up for ya Autobot? Heh, When I get outta these trees you're done for!"

Rodimus looks back at the Decepticon with terrified optics, though Thunderhoof had a feeling in his spark that he wasn't the cause of the terror.

"Look, I- I don't... think I belong here, ok. I'll help you out of those trees and then we can be on our separate ways."

"I ain't acceptin' no help from no stinkin' Autobot!"

"Ok, I'll leave you here and you can free yourself then. But I- I definitely have to go."

"Heh, guess I still got my edge if I scare ya even like this."

"It's not you I'm afraid of." Rodimus says placing his datapad back in subspace, "It's... never mind. Uh, good luck getting out of those trees." He shouts jogging off into the woods.

Rodimus ran through the woods, stepping on large branches and crushing fallen leaves underneath his pedes. He was panicking. How could this have happened? How did he manage to go back in time? He hasn't been near Brainstorm since Ratchet's funeral. Did Brainstorm manage to slip something in his ship before they left? And if so, why? Why him? Where even was his ship?

He remembers being in it before passing out. Thunderclash sent him on a recon mission he thinks. Yeah that was it! He was going to check out an alien planet that hadn't been mapped yet. Did Thunderclash do this? Did Thunderclash just want to get rid of him?

Probably not. Thunderclash is too good to do something like this on purpose. Then who was it? Who sent him here? And why? Rodimus had no answers and no idea where he was going but by Primus he's going to get to the bottom of this!

[ramblinganthropologist]

Writober 2020 - 31 (Enemy)

Summary: Macen Virius and Alex Jones are enemies, right? Totally hate each other. Problem is, they’re meant to be playing lovers. Looks like they need to work on their on-screen chemistry... no, not like that you two morons. Ugh. Horny actors are the worst.

(That Mass Effect Actor AU)

---

“Did you practice your lines at all last night, Jones?”

“I don't know, Virius. Did you?”

It was Tuesday, so naturally tensions were flaring on set.

Alex could feel the vein in his jaw throb as he did his best to keep calm. In front of him, Macen Virius was smirking and looking as though he knew everything. He didn't, of course, but damn if he didn't believe he did. He would kill for that level of ego, but then he probably wouldn't have been able to get his head through the door. Turian heads were a little more aerodynamic, so Macen wasn't needing to widen the doors to get through. Lucky him – if he was a human he'd probably be on one of those medical shows.

Wait... he was supposed to be working.

It was the end of another long day of filming. His body hurt, his clothes were sticking to his skin under the prop armor, and all he wanted to do was take a shower and crawl into bed. Unfortunately, they had filming tomorrow. If he was going to bed, it would be with his script and a highlighter to get ready for the next day of hell.

It had never been this hard when he was acting in his teens. Was it because he was playing Commander Shepard, or because his costar was an egotistical fuck?

Whatever. He had work to do if he wanted to get back into normal clothes. Bring it on.

Oww... fuck.

Alex groaned as he stepped out of the room, bag slung over his shoulder. He was out of costume and pretty much back to normal as he started to head to his car. Once he got past the drive, his apartment was waiting for him. Maybe he'd get takeout... no way he was cooking on that shoulder.

“Jones.”

A familiar, translated voice made him resist a groan. He turned to look over his shoulder, wincing as he did. Macen was out of costume too now, his orange tattoos now proudly displayed for all to see. He was heading towards him, looking pissed. Who had spit in his dextro cheerios?

Still. He had to be nice. Somewhat. “Yeah?”

Macen's mandibles twitched as he stopped. “It's been suggested we run our lines together for the scene tomorrow. Director wants to make sure our chemistry is working.”

Oh, fuck no. He had forgotten they were supposed to be starting the early romance between Shepard and Garrus. Unlike them, their characters were actually supposed to like each other. That... was going to take a lot of work.

A... whole lot of work.

Alex's eyebrow cocked as he leaned against the wall to support his shoulder. “Did she now?”

“It was a suggestion.” His mandibles stopped twitching. “So... my place at 8 then? I'll text you the directions.”

Somewhere, a small part of Alex's brain he swear had long since died broke and reduce itself to a gibbering fanboy. There were countless people who would've killed for that information if the internet was anything to go by. They were all utter morons of course – Macen was a fucking tool. But, he could understand the mix up.

Well... if it was for the job.

“Fine. Here's my number. I'm going to get something to eat before I swing by.” He paused. “Should I bring you a snack or something?”

There had to be something for turians at his local market, right? Not like he had ever looked, but maybe he should if he was being invited over.

Macen's mandibles twitched briefly. Was he amused? “No, I'm good. Just bring something for yourself, I don't have anything for levo at my place and we're going to be working hard. See you later, Jones.”

And then he was gone, with his information soon burning a hole in Alex's pocket as he watched the turian go. The afternoon had suddenly gotten a lot more confusing, and it wasn't helping that he was hungry either. At least he had his priorities straight: food first, then confusing turian.

If only all of life could be that helpful.

---

“I had reach, but she had flexibility.”

And Alex was about to puke.

His eye was twitching as he watched Macen run through his lines. They were currently in his apartment, working through tomorrow's scenes. It was time for the beginning flirt ones, so the charm had to be there.

And it wasn't. It really fucking wasn't.

Macen stopped talking, and his facial plates wiggled in annoyance. “What?”

“If that's supposed to get you into my fictional pants, it's not working.” he paused, taking a sip of his frankly oversized iced coffee. He was going to need the caffeine to survive this. “Besides, Garrus seems a little more subtle in his sexual appetites.”

That caused the turian to snort as he sat back. “Oh, I hadn't realized we had an expert in turian romance in the house.”

“No, just someone who read both their journals long before this role popped up.” Another sip. “Garrus is a sub, by the way. Your energy's a little too dominant for him, especially considering Alistair was a giant dom.”

Which he knew because ,again, journals. Well, that and the fact he was a giant dom himself. That part he kept pretty close to the binder, mostly because he didn't want it on the front page. The only person who knew was his ex sub, but they were still friends. Ray would keep his mouth shut out of respect for what they had.

Besides, nobody would fuck with him. He was built like a tank and grinned like an a-lister.

“Why does that sound like you know what you're talking about?” Macen was suddenly snickering. “Wait, of course you don't. You're the little cheerleader that could. I bet you're still a virgin, too. Are you going to be able to handle our eventual sex scene?”

Alex felt heat creep into his face as he took another sip of his iced coffee. All of that was info the turian just didn't need to know. Even if they had been friends, he wouldn't get it. That sort of thing was... private for him.

And no, he was definitely not a virgin. Hadn't been for a while now.

“That is none of your business, Virius.” He picked up his script. “Now are we running lines or what? Let's take it from the top.”

Yet Macen wasn't picking up his script. Those blue eyes were burning a hole in him, trying to figure him out. He had to wonder what conclusion he was forming with such faulty data. Honestly, it might be kind of funny.

Then again, they had work to do, and he didn't feel like playing twenty questions with Palaven's hottest dickhead.

“I could show you how to kiss a turian, you know. You probably need the practice.” His voice was lower – maybe he was trying to be sexy? Not bad, but... it was Macen so it didn't do nearly as much as he hoped. “Consider it running lines, eh? We're going to need to have it down by the end of the second arc, right?”

Alex rolled his eyes as he put his script down. “And you think I don't know how?”

“I think-”

And that was when Alex silenced him. He moved in quickly, pressing his lips to the turian's face plate. Then with the shift in dynamics, Macen was on his back on the couch. Alex's hand went straight for the sensitive spot by his neck, pressing it and rubbing ever so gently. Then he pressed their foreheads together, lingering briefly.

Macen's eyes were pinpricks when he pulled back, breathing a little hard.

“How'd I do?” Alex pushed a stray strand of hair back into the rest. “Not bad, hu-”

Macen's response came with a shift of weight – his mouth pressed up against Alex's, his hands roving down his body. There was a hunger there as his rough tongue licked the front of his mouth, asking for entry. That was a thing humans did – turians weren't big on the tongue thing due to their teeth. But hell, his brain was shutting off as he nodded and opened his mouth.

He tasted strange, but an alien probably should.

Sometime during their make out session, Alex got back on top. His shirt was discarded somewhere over the couch, and they were both working on their pants at nearly the same time. He kept focused on the side of Macen's neck, touching every sensitive spot there was in the hopes it would keep him on edge. Just a light flick, not a full rub. Human  fingers were softer than talons, but they had a special edge on working the spot between scales.

“Damn it, Alex-” Macen's voice came out breathy when he worked his finger in between plates. Had Alex been thinking straight, he would have realized it was the first time he had heard the turian use his first name. He might have even considered it ok on his tongue... but there were more important things to do. Like biting down on that wonderful neck with just enough pressure.

The choked gasp he got in response told him he'd found just the spot he was looking for. Just in time too – he'd worked Macen's belt loose, so those pants were prime for removing. Now if only Macen could be a little faster with his. It was getting kind of hot in there...

---

Well... at least his shoulder didn't hurt anymore. Everything else was another story.

Alex groaned as he sat up, head heavy. Next to him, Macen was fast asleep. They were both naked, and there was definitely a used condom in the trash. A nearby clock blinking told him it was just before midnight, and a quick glance in the mirror showed he had definitely had sex with a turian.

Oww... that bite on his neck was going to take some medigel. At least Macen hadn't used teeth.

“Fuck me, we fucked...” he shook his head, standing. His legs were the sorest of all, probably from being wrapped around Macen's carapace while they had fucked. It had been a while since he had sex, so he was a little out of practice as he bent to pick up his clothes. At least none of them looked ripped as he headed to the bathroom to wash off the turian sex.

Was it presumptuous to use the shower of the guy he had just fucked? Probably, but he wasn't going out smelling like a turian.

Alex's head cleared as the water hit him and he further accessed his injuries. Most of them could be healed up by tomorrow with medigel, but the rest could be covered up by his clothes. It could have been a lot worse, considering who was still sleeping on the floor. He had talons and shit, and he doubted the man clipped them often.

Or... maybe he had. If he hadn't, he probably would've been cut to shreds.

“I can't believe I fucked him though.” He shook his head. “The fuck was my head thinking?”

Uh, sexy turian who annoys the fuck out of him probably. He wouldn't deny the fact it had been fun to boss Macen around a little. Turns out that Garrus wasn't the only turian sub. Maybe that was what had turned him on the most in the end. Like he said, it had been a while since he had gotten off with someone other than his hand.

Alex sighed as he shut off the water and dried off. The mirror was fogged up as he got out and pulled on yesterday's clothes. His muscles still ached, but once he got back home he could deal with that. And then he would have to run his lines because someone decided it was a good idea to have sex in the middle of their prep session.

Well... he had to take 50% responsibility for that, he supposed.

“Fuck...”

“You could say that again.”

Alex picked up his head. Macen was standing in the doorway, still naked and looking like he wasn't sure what to say. That made two of them – he still had his shirt in his hands, and his binder wasn't even close to getting back on. He had to dry off better first – wet skin and a binder was a really, really bad idea.

So was having sex with someone he hated. His brain was full of great ideas lately.

“I...” his voice faltered. “Needed to use your shower before I left.”

Macen nodded. “Yeah, I noticed. Hope you left me some hot water, Jones.”

So they were back to last names now – fine by him. Alex rolled his eyes as he finished drying off enough that putting his binder back on was possible. As he did, Macen moved past him and stepped into the shower. Then the water started running.

“Lock the door when you leave.” His voice carried over the water. “Also, how the hell do you get that thing on?”

Alex was midway through pulling it over his head, so talking was a little impossible. Luckily, he was an old hand at the action, and before long everything was compressed just the way he liked it. It was kind of dumb, considering he'd be taking it off when he got home... but whatever. Tabloids were still a thing.

“Over my head, it stretches.” He pulled his shirt on. “Left you some medigel on the toilet seat, not sure if you need it. Don't forget to run your damn lines when you get out.”

He was already leaving the bathroom, making a beeline for his bag hanging off the couch. It didn't take long to find his stuff and then pack it away. All the while, he still heard the water running as he shrugged into his jacket and grabbed his phone.

Beau: So, have you killed Virius yet?

Beau: Yo, you there Alex?

Beau: Dude, answer me or I'm gonna think you two killed each other or something.

He had two missed calls on top of that... great. Alex sighed as he locked the door behind him as he left. Outside, it was quiet. Now that it was after midnight, everyone else was asleep. He was the only idiot out, leaving after having sex with Palaven's #1 Bachelor.

Most people would consider him lucky. Not him – he was an idiot.

“Should I call her?”

That question was answered for him by a sudden ringing. Beau's face appeared on screen, and on instinct he slid the call. Soon he could hear her on the other end – she was probably getting in a late night workout.

“Where the hell were you, I called three times!”

Alex winced as he held the phone away from his ear. “Yeah, sorry, I saw.”

Beau was pissed. Great.

At least she calmed down as he walked to his car. “So, do you need help hiding the body or what? Finding someone new to play Garrus is going to be kind of hard, but it's doable.”

He unlocked the door and slid in. “No, he's still alive.”

The car started and he pulled out for the drive back to his apartment. Beau was on speaker, so he didn't need to worry about that. All that was left was learning to deal with the fact he had slept with Macen Virius of all people.

Fuck, he had slept with Macen Virius. Where was his head?

“Damn, that's a disappointment.” She paused, probably because someone was asking her to fight. “So, why'd you ignore me then?”

Alex felt his face heat up. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

“What, did you fuck him or something?” She laughed, but when he didn't the call got so quiet Alex thought she may have disconnected. Nope... still there. Just in shock. He couldn't blame her – he was in shock too.

No way he was getting out of this one...

“You didn't.”

Alex winced as he stopped at a red light. “It's a one time thing.”

“Fuck, you fucked him. You really did it.” He could only imagine Beau's face. “Well, guess the director can't complain about your chemistry now.”

Luckily he didn't hit the horn when he rested his head against the steering wheel. That was the last thing he was worried about then, right on top of hoping he had enough medigel to cover everything up. Work was the reason all of this was happening. Technically, he could blame the director.

But he also had to blame his damn sex drive. Damn libido...

“I don't want to think about it, it's never happening again.”

Beau snickered at that. “He that bad?”

Alex had to think about that as the light turned green. “Well...”

And just from that, he knew he wasn't going to have a quiet ride home. Maybe he should have waited until he was in his apartment to answer the call. Oh well, live and learn and apparently, fuck your costar in his apartment.

Luckily, it would only be one time. Then they could go back to hating each other. That was how this thing worked, right?

[mrrightandmrbubble]

I've gone back and forth on the ifs, whens, and hows of talking about this. I've heard all my life that I will "just cause more trouble" to speak my truth - usually, i've noticed, from the same people who hear about victims of famous people coming forward and will be more critical of them than the people who did it to them. No matter what happens, women are held responsible for safeguarding everyone's wellbeing, sometimes including but most often above their own. I am so done with that. I speak because I have the right to be heard. My feelings - my life - are valid.

So here's the truth.

It'd bruise that giant ego to share the year's worth of records I have kept detailing his intimidation and verbal assaults directed at myself. This is someone who cannot handle it when he doesn't get his own way, who feels inherently entitled to what another person has. The post he made about me is one style of tantrum I have seen him throw. Others include gaining access to my FB account after being blocked and stalking my social media presence, gaslighting, dog-whistling, filming me without my knowledge or consent, threats against myself and my disabled pet, deliberate humiliating, stonewalling, manipulating, physically imposing himself to prevent me from exiting doors, standing over me, verbally bombarding me when asked to leave me alone, following me and ignoring repeated directives to back off, and taking my personal property from my hands and striking me when I tried to get them back. Then there's his delightful habit of telling anyone within earshot that he'll "fuckin' rape ya, cunt" despite being told how fucked up this is - in fact, it has only encouraged him to say it more, and louder. That I should feel the need to take defensive measures in his presence is an indication that there's a problematic behaviour to defend against.

It goes beyond trying to control the person - it also involves controlling the environment. Isolation, manipulation, oppression to discourage accessing resources, dominating the space if not physically then psychologically. Saying such things as "everyone thinks you're a total idiot", "you're crazy", "you need your head checked". Lying about the police telling him that he could secretly film me, for any reason, whenever he felt like it. Massive red flags. No matter how incensed he was by my decisions, he chose these actions. This is abuse.

It's also rather curious that he didn't find this "moron pink-haired obese slob" so repugnant when he was trying to force himself on me earlier in the year and would not take no for an answer. He'd say he was on the plonk, and when is he not? He'd say that about anything for which he wants to escape any and all responsibility, too. If nothing else, there's some important insight into the real person that he keeps carefully removed from his obsessively-constructed image.

All the bravado and posteuring is a front for someone i've realized from first-hand observation is an incredibly insecure and self-loathing person. The legend isn't even in his own mind. People do the worst things when they are scared and self-conscious. They get angriest when people come the closest to the truth, resorting to accusations or coercion in an attempt to deflect. The biggest clue was in the first part of his shitty status about me: Life DOES get him down. He DOES need to hurt others to feel better about himself, if only for a minute, to get temporarily relief and distance from himself. The thing is, that's a reason but never an excuse. If someone treats you badly, there's something wrong with them, not you. They make their choices and select how they want to behave towards others - in doing so, they also choose the consequences and how they wish others to regard them.

This is the internet and in the #MeToo mood, when taking stock of other people's stories, we tend to skip over what they say and scrutinize what they do. So here is what I have done. I filed three police reports, spoke to a domestic violence officer at the station, and attended an NCAT hearing (which he did not despite being summoned). I called solicitors, tenants’ rights advocacy services, Fair Trading, and womens’ support services. I also contacted the landlord, who told this guy to turn himself in to police, had his son reinforce the request to vacate the premises, and encouraged me as head tenant to deliver a termination notice. (All of the aforementioned, however, are problematic on their own...To be revealed in a future post.)

My principle of peace needed to go up against someone so selfish and malicious that it would force me to draw a line in the sand - to declare with absolute clarity what is and is not acceptable. I have also made mistakes in this situation, I cannot pretend my role was passive. I let unacceptable things happen for too long because I wanted to avoid conflict and be 'the bigger person', as people who aren't involved love to advise. I let myself be exploited when I had a bad feeling from the start, but I wanted to give the other person a chance (which turned into too many chances). I did the emotional labour without realizing at the time that I put myself second. I let the toxicity build until it had nowhere to go but out in one big rush. You can only talk to a brick wall for so long before you think "fuck it" and go in with a wrecking ball. But that's me. I'm willing to accept responsibility for my missteps in addressing this. But that it pains him to see himself in any negative light and acts like a little bitch when called out on it assures me and those who have been aware of the situation that i've conducted myself as well as anyone would be expected to given the circumstances. I will not apologize for the lack of obligation I feel to teach someone how to be a well-adjusted, respectful human being.

I adopted an abused, vision-impaired animal. That dog barked and trembled in his presence, signs of fear and trauma, and I have reason to believe that he hurt my dog himself. Upon finding a baby bird in his room, he tried to kill it while yelling that he would "fuckin' skin the cunt" (and...recorded...himself...doing it...). He calls anyone 'faggot' without blinking and loves telling the story of how he harassed a transgender person for hitting on him. He can barely bring himself to clean a plate but was happy to leave a woman with a chronic pain disorder who is juggling that, a full-time bachelor degree, and two freelance roles to maintain an entire house, never once offering or considering to pitch in - then told his mates she was a 'slob'. He learned that I was once very sick with an eating disorder, stored it away, and used it as a means of belittling me later on. I listed the many ways in which he was not living up to reasonable expectations. His way of dealing with it was to attack every facet of my personal life, perceived or actual, and call me crazy, psycho etc. He tells people that loyalty is the most important thing to him but will say the nastiest shit about every last person he knows once they're not around. He's not interested in actually being loyal himself, only in collecting loyalty like Tazos. Behind their backs, he's the kind of person every last one of them would gladly set on fire. He's a stunted adolescent cokehead incapable of basic social functions and cohabitation, and he compensates by pretending - with everyone around him - to be on a level on which all others must rise to meet him. Everything is everyone else's fault.

There have been times when i've quietly wished he would actually lay one on me, so I could finally go to someone and say, "Do you see now?" Because it has been so hard for people to understand the verbal poison that, even when logged, witnessed, or recorded, is still somehow untraceable. People get physical abuse. It's a bit harder to conceptualize psychological abuse. I am a very strong person and I stood my ground from start to finish, but that doesn't make me entirely impervious to ongoing, systemic onslaught. It would begin to enrage and exhaust someone even stronger and more emotionally sound than me. Just because i'm cut out to handle difficult situations doesn't mean I should have to - I shouldn't have to use all my energy for that purpose. If I am a subject and am forced to protect myself, don't you dare expect me to also act to protect those who seek to hurt me. My distress is not your Teachable Moment™.

When I called the behaviour by its name, he freaked out and strong-armed me into redacting it in official documents, scared of what it might do to his meticulously-curated 'reputation' if it became known. Let's find out.

[ratthewrodent]

Ok, I love lifestyle bloggers but to be honest I can never really trust their reviews of things because there's just no way I can be that motivated, consistent, organized, or self-sacrificing. But oh lordy do I try.Here's some of the "zero waste"/ "buy it for life" / "Environmental" things and hacks I've tried and how they compare to the normal products I would have used. 5/5 is going to be exactly as good as a normal product.A disclaimer- I am a young, able bodied adult woman with no kids, no allergies, and non-sensitive skin. I'm also going to be referring to products very generically, because many I bought locally but have identical or similar items all over the market. Also there will be TMI for things like body care and butts and stuff so... yeah.Saftey Razor (5/5) - I genuinely don't know how disposable razors managed to so thoroughly usurp safety razors, it is a marvel of marketing. I bought a super cheap safety razor ($20ish) and a 5 pack of blades because I was nervous and yeah there was a bit of a learning curve but not more than normal shaving? I'd say the biggest difference is the fact that pressing harder doesn't change anything and if your shave isn't close enough you need to switch angles instead of just going over and over again. I am not a patient shower-er and I have not yet cut myself. I've used it to shave every area except the Brazilian wax area. No razor burn to be seen (but again I have non sensitive skin). I dispose of the blades first in any old plastic container or can I'm getting rid of anyway before the trash, but that process may be more difficult with children who have access to bathrooms.I could see how blade removal could be difficult for folks with shaky hands, and obviously self harm triggers from the blades are present.Shaving Cream Bar (4/5) - Not as satisfying as a foam, but equally as effective. Docked a tiny bit for being very slippery to handle, especially when on its last legs. Also tough to spread around bikini areas.Cardboard Tube "natural" deodorant (2/5) - I really wanted to like this one more because I loved the smell and the idea of it, but these suckers are fairly expensive and I also seem to like,,,, crush them???? I am not raging hulk of a person as far as I know but these suckers just have not managed to keep their whole shape and "push-up-ability" for me. Also I'm a real sweaty bastard and while it smelled nice it was not workday capable without a re-application. All in all it was just too much money for a semi-crushed nice smelling stick for me to buy again.Old tee-shirt cotton pads (4/5) - I was shocked, shocked I tell you, with how well this ended up working for me. I was completely unwilling to actually sew a hem around the squares I cut from a no longer wanted cotton shirt and so I felt crazy looking at these stupid little fraying bits of scrap cloth. But I put them in an old tissue box and they blended right in with my bathroom. Applying products to the squares and then my face is exactly as good feeling as a standard disposable wipe. I used a different small basket I already had for dirty ones so I could wash them in larger batches because my morning process does not leave room for me deal with them one at a time because my life is a mess sometimes.Washing them is... a process. At first I tried hand washing but then drying was not happening and my partner did not deserve the punishment of tiptoeing through a bathroom with like 50 cotton squares just around. Also cat hair got on everything. Eventually I ended up with the solution to use a mesh bag (like for bras) and added them to my laundry load that way so they dont get lost.Honestly I would try this one if only because you have nothing to lose. You're getting rid of the tee shirt anyway, rub your face with it first and see if you like it!Silicone period cup (4.5/5) - I really like mine and it takes a bit of practice, but I'd say it's well worth the learning curve. Once you know how to do it you can pop that sucker out, wash it and pop it back in in less than 3 minutes tops. Holds like 8 hours of blood no problemo.Old clothing "paper" towels (2/5)- I wish this worked for me as well as the bathroom squares did. But between the cats and my general messiness old clothes were just not absorbent enough to clean as well as my actual wash rags. I may just have shitty clothes though.They did work well for very specific instances like wiping up a spilled drink on a flat surface, but not enough for me to be willing to have a basket of old shirts just sitting in my house.Bamboo Travel Cutlery (0/5) - No shade if you like these but they were garbage to me. I bought them because I was tricked by green-washing and cool advertisements and I wish I had just packed a normal fork.Bar Shampoo/conditioner (2/5) - While these technically did a job, they did not work for me and my partner (and we share shampoo). He has thick curly locks and the shampoo and conditioner in a bar was just not able to permeate without some very meticulous showering and we are not meticulous people. Our showers are 10 minutes give or take, and we needed something more simple. I am also a clutz and would always drop them, losing whole dollars of shampoo at a time.Some crazy shampoo/conditioner that a local hippie delivers to me in a metal tin so I only needed one reusable pump (5/5) - Hell yeah! I can't really do a good recommendation on this one because obviously not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a zero waste shop in the same city as they are. But here is my plea - give your local hippie shop owners a chance, do some intensive googling for local businesses and you may be pleasantly surprised at what you find! (by the way, if you're in the Tacoma area A Drop In The Ocean makes my shampoo)Bidet (5/5+) - Honestly I tell people who arent zero waste to get a bidet. Just get one, they're so good. Mine was like $30 and it only shoots cold water and it's still the best thing that's ever happened to me. I still use toilet paper with mine but now it's like one square at a time for drying purposes.Cast Iron Pan (5/5) - Im in love with my cast iron. It just sits on my stove and I cook everything on it. That being said, I've never managed to get it truly seasoned to be non stick on its own, I add a lil oil to it for that. I also literally dont know what all these crazy care instructions on the internet are. My father used a cast iron for 40+ years and he cleans it with water, sometimes a little soap if it's uber gross and it's literally fine. I've seen him re season it once. Not a good pan for people who have muscular troubles with their hands though, these bad boys are pretty heavy.Also side bar: Advice about cast irons online is terrible it's all so pretentious and frightening to read if you don't have background knowledge but I swear, it's super simple. All those people using big words and crazy continuous care are just like, high on their own knowledge or something.You clean the cast ironyou rub that bad boy with some vegetable oil or criscoyou throw it upside down in the oven at 375 for an hour and let coolBAM all done. It is now seasoned forever. If for some reason you feel the seasoning getting thin somewhere (maybe because you're like me and accidentally left it in soapy water overnight because I'm a sinner) Just do step 1-3 again.A mason jar instead of a reusable cup (0/5) - I dropped my bag because I'm a moron and it fucking exploded because it's glass, maybe 5/5 if you're not a moron but I'm unwilling to attempt again.Keepcup TM (1/5) - Very cute but the lid stopped working after I kept putting boiling hot drinks in it. My friend's still works fine so maybe it's a fluke, but I didn't get another.A $2 reusable starbucks cup (4/5) - Because I broke every other cup I guess. I also beat the shit out of it with no visible damage so far, including microwave, freezing, dropping and dishwasher. They are pretty thin though so I use a knit cozy so I can hold it when hot. Also doesn't seal shut.Cutting open the bottle of my swiffer cleaner so I could refill it (5/5+) - Only thing that makes my swiffer worth it. The seal is a lie, there's threading under there. The instructions linked are a good way to do it, but I literally just hacked at the edge of mine with a knife until it came off. I refill using a cleaning concentrate and it works equally as well as the original cleaner. Throwing in that I got a reusable swiffer pad set of three as well and they work great too. Just throw them in with the laundry when they're dirty!Powder Toothpaste (1/5) - Again, power to you if you can use this. My teeth felt clean but I also wanted to barf while using it. I did use it all, which I am proud of, and I did gag every time, which I am not.And finally...A metal reusable straw (3/5) - It's fine I guess. I cant really take it places with me but it's nice for when I drink at home.I am so sorry this got so long. I don't know what happened. Quarantine is just so boring. Hopefully maybe other people can leave honest reviews of them trying to live normal lives with zero waste products too and add validity to this monstrosity or maybe just point out things I missed or something. via /r/ZeroWaste