#in a world without shane this is the next best thing

[bayofwolves]

i've been thinking ab abeke x worthy for the last 12 hours... do y'all feel me. could i convince y'all to get on board this ship

[ghostboneswrites2]

Girl of Your Dreams || Part 1

New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring all my work here slowly!

Summary: Daryl's annoying female sidekick is pestering him.

18+ MDNI: WARNINGS: injury, aggressive Shane, profanity

        You were no stranger to pain. The world had been unfair to you from the time you entered it, but this was a whole new level of torture. You had survived the wake of the apocalypse with your only friend, but when you encountered a group of those undead fucks, she didn't make it, and you were left to run for your life all on your own. You were fairly certain you lost the hungry corpses some time ago, but now you had a new dilemma: how to free yourself from a bear trap?

        The metal dug into your flesh and crushed the bone beneath. You was beyond painful. You were shocked your cries didn't draw anything in to eat you, but you were ultimately alone until he came along. Wit the sleeves torn off a flannel shirt and a crossbow slung over his shoulder, he'd left the camp by the quarry that day to find some food, hopefully enough to feed everyone but chances of that were slim.

        "Ya bit?" Was the first thing he asked, with that raspy voice you would come to find comfort in. 

        "Gee, I'm fine. Doesn't hurt at all. Thanks for asking." You shot back. A woman of sarcasm, something he could appreciate.

        "Show me ya ain't bit and I'll get that thing off ya." He shrugged. You sighed.

        "Not bit." You said, holding your bare arms up, showing him the sides of your neck, and finally lifting your shirt to show him a bite-free midriff. He nodded and knelt down on one knee, setting his bow to the side so he could properly dismantle the trap. You winced and sighed in relief at the release of pressure from your ankle. "Thanks." You breathed, pulling up the leg of your jeans to take a good look.

        The bruising had already begun, and the flesh was chewed to bits. You went to stand but failed. The pressure on your ankle was too much.

        "Great." You grumbled. "Real fuckin' nice."

        "C'mere." He said, standing up now as he held his hand out to you. You took it, seeing little other options. Unless, of course, you wanted to wait for the next flesh-starved freak to come stumbling through.

        "Thanks again." You grunted as you pulled yourself up. You managed to stand on one foot, but there was no way you could walk without aide. 

        "C'mon. Got a camp not too far from here." He told you. And there it was, the beginning. Of course the other campers didn't take so kindly to a new mouth to feed, especially one that could barely walk, but Daryl made sure you had your place, and that earned your respect. It also earned your kindness, which was hard to come by for anyone. You weren't the friendly type, more of the shut-up-and-don't-breathe-in-my-space type. Shane, most of all, was your least favorite. The whole self-proclaimed leader thing got under your skin fast, and he was the first to voice his concerns about your presence among the others. After all, he had a girl and a kid to look out for, which you'd come to find out later weren't even his, but his best friend's, who he told them was dead. He wasn't, though, and he showed up a couple weeks later. Glenn and the others brought him back instead of Merle, Daryl's brother.

        Daryl was outraged to say the least, and when they went back for his kin, they only found a hand where he should have been. Walkers attacked camp the that night, when Daryl and the others were in the city, and you only fucked up your ankle more fighting the sons of bitches off. Still, you prevailed. You always did. You were a survivor. 

        In the following weeks, between burning and burying bodies, finding and escaping the CDC, and getting stranded on the highway only to wind up on a farm, you and Daryl had grown pretty close. You comforted him with your silent presence as he coped with the loss of his brother, and once you could walk again you aided in a lot of the search for Sophia. 

        You went with him on a particularly hot day, carrying the extra water for the two of you, telling him all about how you couldn't take anymore of Shane's pestering. Apparently now that Lori had pushed him away for Rick, he had taken up a newfound fondness of you and your smart mouth. 

        "It's like -- I tell the guy to fuck off and his heart eyes grow bigger." You complained. Scoffed a little laugh and shook his head. Not necessarily interested in your drama, but curious nonetheless. Any excuse to tell Shane off would've been a green light to him. You continued. "You know yesterday he tried to come in my tent when I was asleep?"

        Daryl stopped walking and eyed you intently, waiting for more.

        "Yeah, dude. I was asleep when it happened. Woke up to him running his hand up my thigh. So, if you notice any dark coloration around his eye, it's cause I kicked him. In the eye." You explained. 

        Daryl chewed on his lip and continued walking. You handed him some water to drink as you sipped some yourself. After pushing a little further he sighed.

        "Let's take a break an' eat somethin'." He suggested. You happily obliged, sitting crisscross on the forest floor, unwrapping a napkin with some nuts and dried fruit for the two of you to share.

        "He didn't hurt ya or nothin'?" He asked. You shrugged.

        "If he did, I promise he'd have gotten more than a foot in his eye."

        "Mm." He nodded. "You know I'd kill him, if he did."

        "Awe, are you sweet on me Dixon?" You teased, grinning as you bumped his shoulder with yours. He glared at you.

        "Ain't sweet on no one." He grumbled.

        "Except me." 

        "Shut up."

        "It's okay. I know you put that trap out to catch a girl like me. Lucky for you, I was dumb enough to step in it." You gloated. He got so flustered when you joked like that, but you enjoyed it. As gruff as he was, he was the shy type which made him all the more attractive. You loved a good mystery.

        "Nah, I placed that trap out lookin' for the woman of my dreams an' got stuck with you." He joked. You gasped, mocking an appalled expression.

        "You mean, I'm not the woman you always dreamed of?"

        Actually, you kind of were, now that he thought about it. He'd need a woman that could handle his brother, and in the short time  you spent with the man you handled him quite well. He needed a woman who didn't need to be coddled, a woman with a sharp tongue and an independent nature. Someone who didn't need him, who only kept him around because she liked him. You did check all those boxes.

        "You first." He grunted.

        "Me first what? Are you asking if you're the man of my dreams?" You asked. He shrugged, picking at the last of the food in his hands. "Well, I never dreamed of a man, to be honest. Just figured I'd find one, one day, that didn't get on my every last nerve."

        "Did you?" He wondered.

        "Nope." You laughed. "They all pissed me off. Except you. You're alright, I guess." You shrugged.

        "Guess you ain't so bad." He returned the compliment, if you could call it that. You smiled sweetly, staring down at the crunchy brown leaves.

        "Not bad at all, for someone you got stuck with." You said.

        "Stuck? Nah. I'd have got rid of ya by now if I didn't want ya around."

        "So you do like me."

        "Didn't say that."

        "Mmm. Ya kinda did." You pushed.

        "What if I do? Don't change nothin'." 

        "Nope. It doesn't." You chirped, before leaning in close to him and whispering; "'Cause I already knew ya did." 

        He sighed and pushed you away, you chuckling in the process.

        "Were you always this annoyin'?" He asked.

        "Yes, indeed. I'm vexing by nature. Is that a deal breaker?"

        "Depends how long it takes you to shut up."

        "Oof." You winced. "That was cold."

        "Please. You ain't that soft."

        "Only for you, Darlina." You said. Normally he'd snap at anyone who called him that. Only Merle ever got away with it and that was mostly just due to the fact he had no energy to argue with Merle. Getting a reaction out of him would have only pushed Merle to say it more, anyways.

        "You keep pushin' your luck, girl, and we're gonna have problems."

        "Oh?" You raised your brows. "Do tell."

        "Won't have to. I'll just show ya. Keep  tryin' me and find out."

        "Was that a threat? 'Cause I'll be honest with ya, you're just getting me excited."

        He shot you a sideways glance, smirking a little at the suggestiveness of your comment. This girl ain't got no idea what she's gettin' into, he thought.

        That night at camp, when Shane found you alone, adding your clothes form the day to the dirty laundry, Daryl was watching from afar.

        "Maybe you can talk some sense into everybody." He began. "You've been out there with him. You can tell them there haven't been any leads. We're wasting resources and manpower, here."

        "Sure! I'll do that!" You said with sickeningly sweet sarcasm oozing from your tongue. The prideful officer clenched his jaw tightly at your act of disrespect. "Only, I won't, because we've found two leads already." 

        "Oh, right, a doll he almost died for and a blanket in a cupboard." He scoffed. "What is it with you and him, huh? You out there fuckin'? Or do you really just enjoy wasting everyone's time and supplies."

        "Everyone?  Last I checked, it's just been me and him out there the last few days. Nobody else. And, even if we were fucking, it'd be none of your concern." You spat, stabbing your finger into his chest with malice. He gripped your wrist as you did so, hard, might you add. Tight enough that it actually hurt. You tried to yank you arm away to no avail. You were strong, but he was stronger.

        "Let me go, asshole." You said through gritted teeth. He didn't. Instead he held you still and leaned his face close to yours.

        "Let me make somethin' real clear to you, little girl--"

        "There a problem?" Daryl asked, suddenly appearing behind Shane.

        Shane grinded his teeth together, a blazing glare burning into you for only a second before he let go of your wrist and turned to Daryl. You held your wrist to your body, rubbing it.

        "Nah. No problem." Shane said lowly before he stormed away, maintaining eye contact with Daryl for some time as he did so. When Shane was far enough for comfort, Daryl stepped over from you and grabbed your hand, looking over your wrist. It was still white with Shane's finger prints and he wouldn't be surprised if it bruised later.

        "You alright?" He asked, letting your hand fall back down.

        "Yeah." You nodded, watching as Shane disappeared into the darkness. "Thanks."

        "C'mon." He told you, throwing his arm over your shoulder and leading you toward his own tent. "You're stayin' with me in case he tries anythin'."

        "A sleepover? So soon? No dinner  first?" You joked.

        "Shut up." He said, holding his tent open for you to climb in. When you were inside, he followed, and made sure you had a place to get comfy. "This alright?" He asked, referring to his sleeping bag that he had completely unzipped and laid out flat like a palette. 

        "Perfect." You smiled, laying down on one side. He laid down on the other side, on his back. You were on your side, facing him, still rubbing your wrist. He took notice.

        "Still hurt?" He asked.

        "No, actually. It's just weird. I can still feel his hand around me, you know?"

        "Well he won't get ahold of ya in here." He told you. You smirked. 

        "I know."

        "You know?"

        "Uh-huh." You nodded, smugly. "'Cause you wont let anything happen to the girl of your dreams."

        He scoffed, laughing silently to himself as he shook his head, eyes on the ceiling of the tent.

        "Whatever, (Y/N). G'night."

[anna-hawk]

You tell me you hate me [Yeah, I bet you do]

Shane Walsh x F!Reader

Summary: You and Shane never got along, yet desperate circumstances make you cross an unexpected line.

Warnings/Tags: Post ZA, Canon typical violence, Enemies to lovers, Near-death experience, Hate sex, Bearded Shane

WC 9,7k // Explicit 🔞

Written for the Beardthal Bash 2023

Read it on AO3

“No… Absolutely not.” 

You crossed your arms resolutely as you stared Rick down, the man standing across from you at the large table in the Greene dining room. He closed his eyes and rubbed over them as he sighed your name pleadingly. 

“Listen, I know that you don’t like him-”

“Trust me, it’s very much mutual,” you ground out under your breath with your top lip curling up in distaste. 

“So you know I wouldn’t be askin’ you if I had another option,” Rick continued without missing a beat. 

You gave him a surly look before looking down at the large map lying unfolded on the table. Various circles and other notes were scribbled all over it, highlighting spots with existing or possible food, ammunition and fuel supplies, as well as information on walker hordes and so on. 

“Everyone is gone doin’ something else and… I’d go myself if Judith wasn’t-”

“No, you can’t leave her alone,” you cut in, your voice softening at the mention of the baby. “She needs you.” 

You gritted your teeth as you thought. 

Running across the Greene Farm several months earlier with your little group of four friends, you hadn’t expected to find a lasting shelter and people that would quickly become the next best thing to a family. Especially since things had been tense, to say the least, when you’d arrived. Between Rick and Shane, in particular, since the two leaders of the group hadn't always seen eye to eye. Shane had been less than thrilled at the idea of letting you join, while Rick had tried to convince everyone that having more people around to help would be beneficial to everyone in the long run. Hershel Greene had been the one to put a stop to the argument, reminding Shane that he’d decided to open his doors for them just a couple of months earlier and that he’d be doing the same for you. Shane had left the room in a huff, muttering about more mouths to feed. While you’d understood his concerns, his aggressive behavior had your hackles rising instantly and fighting down the urge to snap back. Still, you’d felt beyond relieved to be invited to stay. Shane had ultimately stopped complaining when your group had proven its worth more than once over the following weeks. 

With you personally, it was an entirely different story. You and Shane never managed to get along. After that first day, the man’s attitude had kept rubbing you the wrong way. Simply put, he was an utter asshole, and you’d made sure he was aware of it any chance you got. Whether he liked it or not. Whenever you were in the same room, discussing chores and missions alongside Hershel, Daryl, Rick and Hunter, one from your original group, you’d end up sniping at each other. Whatever the one said or suggested, the other would find something to complain about. It wasn’t like you couldn’t admit that he came up with clever plans or that he was generally good at keeping everyone safe, it was more his snide remarks and the way he tried to mansplain everything. It made you feel like you needed to take him down a peg. 

A few weeks after your arrival, things changed between Rick and Shane on the day you all found out that Lori was pregnant. Rick had almost lost it at the idea of them having a child in this terrible new world, especially after coming so close to losing Carl, as you’d found out a few days after settling in. Yet, while the close call had clearly done something to Rick and Shane’s friendship, maybe triggering their fights because of how they suddenly viewed things, this news changed their relationship again. You didn’t know what had happened between them after they’d found out, but things had gotten better between the two men. While their relationship had slowly been mending, you sometimes felt like Shane was only able to get along with Rick again because he was fighting with you instead. 

Looking at the map now, you checked the distance separating you from the nearest general store that you knew still had food and other goods, like baby formula, among other things. A pang of sadness ran through you at the reminder that little Judith didn’t have her mother anymore. 

“Can’t I just go on my own?” you mumbled, knowing full well that you couldn’t with how far and dangerous the road was. 

“Told ya she wouldn’t like it.” 

Shane stepped through the dining room doors and joined Rick’s side, his eyes on you and a scowl tugging down his lips, the expression almost hidden in his beard. Almost. This winter had proven to be colder than the previous ones, and both Rick and Shane had let their beards grow out. While Rick’s was lighter and less long, Shane’s beard was thick and matched his curly dark hair. 

“Sure, because you like the idea of spending hours alone with me in a car,” you sneered with a roll of your eyes. Shane’s nostrils flared, and his eyes darkened unhappily at the prospect. “Yeah, thought as much,” you scoffed and returned your attention to Rick, who sighed at the two of you but focused on the map, understanding that the matter was settled, and you would go with Shane. 

“‘kay… You’ll need to take the pickup. Hershel said that the generator’s nearly out of fuel, so are a couple of the cars, and that place…” He pointed at the gas station across from the general store. “Still had some of the bigger gas cans the last time we checked it.” 

Picking up the list with the items you were supposed to find off the table, you quickly scanned it and nodded before turning your back on the men. 

“Meet me at the car in an hour,” you told Shane without a backward glance, it was late morning and the quicker you left, the sooner you’d be back and out of each other’s hair.  

His lack of answer was answer enough, so you left the room to get ready for the trip. 

Back in the room you shared with some of the other women, you dressed according to the situation before you headed to the makeshift armory to pick out a couple of guns and knives. 

“Going out too?” 

You turned to find your friend Nicole standing in the doorway, one of her arms in a sling. She’d nearly gotten bit by a walker the previous week and thankfully only came out with a sprained shoulder. 

You nodded briefly and returned your attention to checking the bullets in the magazine and adding a few when you noticed that it wasn’t full. 

“What’s wrong? I’d have thought you’d be happy to get out of here for a bit.”

You huffed out a small laugh through your nose at her remark. She really knew you well. 

“I’m going with Shane,” you said simply, as you turned around, knowing that it would be enough to explain your mood. 

Sure enough, she grimaced. “Oh.” 

It was no secret to anyone how Shane and you felt about each other. But you were actually the odd one. As with most people in the group, except for Dale, since the older man had a penchant for being nosy, and you didn’t enjoy that about him either, Shane actually got along with Nicole rather well. It was the same for her sister Jasmine, and just as much for Hunter. They’d been as angry as you about Shane’s behavior at the start, but they’d all warmed up to the man quickly enough after a while, and it had gone both ways. Jasmine and Shane had even flirted around for a bit, before Hunter had come through and snatched her away, much to Andrea’s relief, who’d seemed to carry a torch for Shane for a while. Objectively speaking, you’d have been interested as well had Shane not been… Shane. While you shared most of your thoughts with Nicole, you certainly hadn’t admitted to finding Shane attractive. Even less about how good the beard looked on him.

“Yep.” You finished with the guns and put them into their holsters at your hips, along with a knife, while the other one went to an ankle. 

“Shit… I’m sorry. I wish I could go and-” she started, fidgeting with the sling at your situation. 

“Hey, no, no.” You gently grabbed her by her good shoulder and clasped the hand of the injured one as you gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s fine, don’t worry, okay?” 

Nicole sighed and nodded. “Maybe… try not to kill each other?” she smiled feebly, as you let go of her, and she watched you walk past her and to the main hall. 

You snorted loudly. “No promises there.” You briefly turned towards her again and gave her a small smile. “See you later.” 

Your last stop was the small box sitting against the entrance door wall, containing all the car keys. Opening it, you grabbed the key ring for the pickup and made your way outside, glad that the weather was sunny even if the temperature was rather crisp. 

Before the whole hour had gone by, Shane joined you at the car, rifle slung over his shoulder as he stalked towards you with a duffle bag in his other hand. 

“Where are the keys?” he barked, putting his stuff in the bed of the pickup except for the rifle. 

You lifted a fist in front of you and opened the palm, letting the keys dangle from the ring sitting around your finger. 

“I’m driving,” you smirked, snapping your hand closed before Shane could get the idea of taking them from you.

“Ah, Christ,” he groused, throwing you a dirty look before heading towards the passenger side and climbing in with the gun. 

Grinning in satisfaction at his reaction, you took your seat behind the wheel and started the car. You drove down the small dirt road that led to the gate and found Dale checking the perimeter. He picked up his pace to reach the gate and opened it for you. The older man grinned at you before he noticed Shane, his smile turning into an apprehensive expression. You opened the window as you rolled up to him. 

“Rick said you’d be heading out but…” he said as he looked through the window, his voice trailing off. You could still hear the ‘I didn’t know it would be with Shane’ part. “You be careful, alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Shane grumbled with a roll of his eyes, while you just gave Dale a tight smile and a nod. 

Nodding in silence, Dale stepped back while you pressed the button to get the window back up and drove through the gate. 

“Meddlin’ ol’ man,” Shane muttered to himself, as he stared out his side of the car. 

You didn’t say anything, agreeing with him for once. 

After driving for a long while in complete silence without meeting any walkers, you turned at an intersection. Shane sat up straighter from the slumped position he'd been in and looked around himself. 

“What are you doin'?” he snapped.

You glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “Driving to the store?” you replied with a tone that clearly stated ‘duh’. 

“Exactly. You shouldn’t have turned here. See, this is why I should’ve driven cause-”

“Oh, fuck you, Shane,” you bit back. “FYI, if you’d checked the map, you’d know that this is actually a shortcut. Trust me, this’ll save us at least twenty minutes.” 

“Trust you,” he rumbled under his breath, while his eyes kept checking your surroundings. 

You lifted your eyes heavenwards and sighed, mentally preparing yourself for his explanation of why he did, in fact, not trust you at all. To your surprise, though, he didn’t say anything else and only put his chin in his palm, his elbow on the door as he looked ahead. 

As promised, you arrived at the store earlier than through the original route. Since Shane had accepted your decision without too much complaining, you chose to pay him back by not going ‘I told you so’, like you actually wanted to. Instead, you parked at the gas station and slowly got out of the car, your knife in the hand under the one holding the gun. Throwing a quick glance at Shane, he nodded at you in silent understanding as you both moved to the front of the car and then took each one side of the building to inspect it. You came back to the entrance at about the same time, and Shane pushed the glass door open with a little more noise than necessary to lure any potential walkers out. Shane went in first, while you checked your back before following him inside. 

A gurgling sound came from your left. Two walkers slowly stumbled towards you, one in a more advanced state of decay than the other. You and Shane quickly took them out with your knives before you made your way through the couple of aisles to check for any potential items of interest. After several long minutes, in which you did find a few useful things like batteries and the likes, Shane walked up to you with his own large canvas bag in hand. 

“Let’s get this ball rollin’, beautiful, and get the gas,” Shane suggested, as he leaned against the aisle you were inspecting with his shoulder and jerked his chin towards the entrance door. 

“Don’t call me that,” you huffed in annoyance without looking at him as you put one last item in your bag. 

You heard him scoff. “What, you prefer I call you dick or bitch or somethin’?”

Facing him with an exaggerated roll of your eyes, you stared at him with an unimpressed expression. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that. Shane was someone who easily used endearments and pet names, and you knew that it sometimes just slipped out, but considering your relationship, it simply didn’t sound right.

“Well, at least it would be more honest, wouldn’t it? But how about just calling me by my actual name?” 

Shane gave you a long look before he shook his head and laughed through his nose. 

“Y’know, just ‘cause you’re a fuckin’ pain in the ass and I could sometimes…” He made a strangling motion that had you actually snorting because that feeling sure did go both ways. “Don’ change the fact that you are.”

“Are what?” you asked suspiciously. 

“Beautiful.” He shrugged and gave you a quick once over. 

Not having expected that reply at all, your eyebrows lifted high on your forehead. You knew, without a doubt, that he was absolutely honest. Shane wasn’t someone for false pleasantries, and especially not with you. 

“Let’s just go get the gas,” you said after a couple of seconds, as you shook your head in bemusement. 

Shane only nodded and followed you outside to find the gas cans and cylinders. He drove the rear of the pickup closer to where they were stocked to make loading the car easier. There were quite a few cans left, and you felt lucky that your group had stumbled upon this little town on your way to the farm, the place recluse enough that it hadn’t been fully raided yet. Once you were done with the gas, you jogged across the road to the general store and repeated the same process as before to make sure that there was no threat. This time the coast was clear, and you separated again, with each taking a piece of the list to search for what you needed. 

You didn’t know how much time went by, but you did take your time filling the four large bags you had with you. The weather could change any day and the less frequently you needed to leave the farm, the better. Meaning that stocking up as much as possible was the way to go. Seeing how Shane meticulously scanned each aisle, he was thinking the same thing. Coming back to the front of the store, you noticed movement out of your peripheral vision and snapped your attention in that direction. Your eyes widened in terror as you took in what was happening outside. 

“Shane,” you hissed urgently, not daring to look away from the large horde that had slowly snuck up on you and was spreading through town. “Shane,” you said more loudly and finally turned to look at him.

The horde was still far enough away that none of the walkers would have been able to hear you, but you weren’t taking any chances. 

“What?” he snapped, only for his eyebrows to lower in confusion as he saw your expression. 

You saw the second he noticed the horde as his eyes looked past you and they widened like yours had. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, while quickly joining you and checking the scene, the two of you crouching down to be out of sight and peaking around the aisle. 

“There’s no way we can reach the car,” you muttered before throwing a glance at Shane, who was still looking outside, but nodded in agreement. 

You watched the front of the horde surround the pickup as it went past the car and continued ahead of the road. 

“They should just walk past us,” Shane said in a low tone, one hand on his rifle anyway, ready to aim. 

You were about to hum in agreement, when there was a commotion at the gas station and several loud crashes came from where the gas cans and cylinders stood. A few cylinders rolled into the direction of the store, and you cursed yourselves for leaving the empty ones standing next to the pickup instead of putting them away. Some of the walkers must have knocked into them as they passed. To your horror, the noise caused the horde to shift its focus, and some of the walkers began turning towards the store. 

“We gotta move,” you gasped out, as neither of you were able to hide quickly enough and you realized that a handful of walkers had seen you. 

To your surprise, Shane shot forward to the entrance, jumping over the register, instead of following you to the back. About to yell at him for his actions, you saw him locking the doors right before a small dozen of walkers crashed against the windows. 

“That’s only gonna buy us a little time,” he panted, as he ran back to you and you both grabbed the bags to hurry to the other side of the store. 

Sure enough, a few seconds later you could hear thudding sounds coming from the front, as well as cracking glass. If the whole horde pressed against the front side, the glass panels would shatter underneath the pressure, and they’d be able to get in. As the noises got louder and louder, you tried to keep a level head to think. There was an exit at the back, but it was locked, and you wouldn’t have the time to pry the door open before the walkers got in. Or the noise of you trying to open it would lure others around to stop you from leaving. Shane seemed to come to the same conclusion as he stared at the door and then at you. 

“The stairwell’s blocked too,” you sighed, as you leaned against an aisle. 

The store had another floor, with private rooms, you guessed, since the door leading to the stairs had a sign with “Private – No entry” on it. Shane nodded in acknowledgement and leaned back across from you. You felt strangely calm at your imminent death. 

“Can’t believe I’m going to kick the bucket with you,” you chuckled, as you breathed out slowly. 

Shane barked out a sharp laugh. “Could’ve been with Dale,” he smirked, knowing that this was one of the few things you agreed on. 

You snorted loudly and nodded. “Mmh, small mercies and all that, I guess. ” 

Shane hummed, while you leaned your head back and looked at the ceiling. And frowned. Some of the styrofoam tiles had fallen off, showing the metal of the air vents, the cabling… And a large hole to one side, revealing parts of the stairs above. It looked like the wall the stairwell was in had collapsed for whatever reason, and the fallen debris had caused the ceiling to break through. With several of the aisles knocked over and the general state of the store, you hadn’t bothered to check where the rubble lying on the floor had come from. 

“Shane,” you breathed, pointing to the hole in the ceiling. 

His eyes followed the direction your finger pointed at, then he turned to get a better view after realizing what you’d seen. 

“Come on,” he said urgently, as the first crashes of glass started. 

Shane jumped on top of the aisle closest to the opening in the ceiling and reached down a hand for you to pass him the bags. The list fell out of one of your bags and fluttered to the ground. About to grasp Shane’s proffered hand to help you up as well, your eyes picked up one word on the list. The item that you’d been about to get right before you’d seen the horde. 

“Be back in a sec,” you yelled, turning tails and running off, ignoring the sounds of the undead as they walked inside. 

“The fuck are you doing?!” Shane bellowed after you.

You skidded to a halt in the desired aisle, coming face to face with a walker who stumbled in our direction. With a well-placed hit of your knife to his head, it fell to the floor, leaving you to pick up what you’d come for. Turning around to run back to Shane, your path was blocked by three walkers this time, and others coming from the right. Cursing, you turned to the left and then right again, ducking the outstretched hands of some other walkers following you into the aisle you’d just walked in. One of them managed to grab the back of your coat, but before you could turn and do anything about it, another one came in from your other side. The sound of a gun shot rang through the whole store as Shane aimed from his spot on the aisle, taking out one walker after the other as they came at you. This allowed you to jerk free of the loose grip of the now dead walker and dash towards the back of the store, jumping over bodies and avoiding the moving ones, one arm still holding on to a tall container.

“Move, move, move!” Shane barked at you, as you ran up to him at full speed. 

You threw him the container, which he quickly put next to him, before you jumped and caught his hand, the momentum helping him pull you up faster. Shane tugged you upright and shot the walker trying to grab your feet as soon as both of his hands were free again. 

“Get the fuck up there!” he yelled over the noise without looking at you. 

Shane had managed to stash the bags in the opening and you did the same with the container before you grabbed onto the bars that used to hold the large, styrofoam squares to lift you through the ceiling. It took some maneuvering since you had to move over the vents to get to the hole in the wall, but it was doable. After another shot rang out, you got into the best position to aim at the growing throng of walkers gathering at Shane's feet, the aisle rattling precariously now. 

“Move!” you shouted, taking out a walker that was tall and getting too close to Shane for comfort. 

Shane looked up and instantly jumped into action, sliding the rifle through the bars to stop it from falling. He smoothly slipped through the ceiling as well and stared down at the groaning and rasping creatures. 

“Can you reach the stairs or not?” he asked with his eyes still downcast. 

Satisfied that he was safe for now, you put your gun away and started moving further over the vents to reach the stairs. You had to push broken cinder blocks to the side, some falling and taking out other styrofoam squares. It took you a couple of minutes, but you finally managed to squeeze through the opening and land on the stairs. Which led to a closed door at the top. 

“Come on.” You stuck your head back through the hole to look down at Shane, the man working to get the bags over the vents and towards you. 

You took the bags from him one at a time and grabbed his arm to pull him through as well. He leveled you a questioning stare, one eyebrow lifted, as he saw the closed door. Shrugging, you both made your way towards the door. You reached for the handle with a glance at Shane, who slung the rifle into position. The door was thankfully unlocked and opened with a long creak to reveal a small apartment. You stood inside the door for several seconds, waiting in case something moved towards you. Shane gave you a quick nod, so you stepped over the threshold and checked the place. It looked surprisingly untouched, as if the owner had left before anything happened, or they left at the beginning. Considering the damage in the stairwell, something must have exploded close by, yet thankfully left the apartment undamaged. 

“We got water,” you announced with incredulous excitement as you reflexively tested the faucets in the bathroom

“And canned food,” Shane chimed in from the small kitchenette that was sitting to the left of the apartment, while a convertible couch took up the right side with a coffee table and a TV set. 

“It’s like a luxury hotel,” you laughed lightly as you ducked your head to drink straight from the faucet. 

You heard Shane chuckle at your comparison and hum in agreement. While he retrieved the bags, you walked to the long window in the living area and looked outside. 

“Think we’re stuck here for a while,” Shane grumbled after he’d joined you, observing the mass of walkers milling around everywhere. 

You nodded with a sigh. If there hadn’t been the incident with the gas cylinders, the horde would have probably walked through town without stopping and you’d have been safe to leave at some point. You would have had to find a different way home, but you would have managed. Now, who knew how long it would take for enough walkers to wander off for you to leave without being at too much of a risk?

“Jackpot,” Shane suddenly exclaimed, having you remove your attention from the window. 

You turned to find him holding a camping stove. It wasn’t the safest object to use indoors, but it was perfect to heat some of the cans Shane had found in the pantry. Despite the cold outside and the sun setting, you opened the window a crack to let some fresh air in and evacuate most of the carbon monoxide those kinds of stoves could produce. Shane nodded approvingly at that and turned it on after getting a couple of cans and plates. You’d found a large amount of canned food downstairs, but chose to leave the contents of the bags for the farm for now. Shane also found a few packs of tall candles and lit enough of them once the sun had gone down completely for you to walk through the place comfortably. You ate in silence while you also heated a large bucket of water before you checked the place for blankets and potential toiletries. While you did that, Shane took the hot water into the bathroom to clean up a bit. He came back wearing his jeans and a thick sweater that he got from the store. Before taking his place in the bathroom, your eyes caught onto his damp hair and beard, and the way the sweater hugged his broad shoulders and trim waist. Looking away and shaking your head, you closed the door while Shane looked through the items you’d both taken and reorganized them in the bags to make them easier to carry. With a pile of blankets in hand and feeling much better after getting to take the day’s filth off and dressing into fresh clothes as well, you found Shane sitting on the couch and staring down at the container you’d run back for. 

“You risked your life for baby formula,” he stated, his voice giving nothing away, the fire of the candle creating flickering lights on his profile. 

“We’re nearly out and Judith still needs it,” you shrugged, busying yourself with unfolding the blankets. 

“Do you ever think before you act?” Shane growled at how you dismissed his words. 

“What?” you ground out, facing him again. You must have heard him wrong, right? 

“What’s the point of pullin’ a stunt like that if it gets you killed?” 

“It didn’t, did it, though?”

“Because I was there to cover your sorry ass.”

You threw your hands in the air and sighed explosively. 

“Ugh, this is why I don’t like teaming up with you. You always complain about things that might have happened.” 

“No, what you don’t like it that I’m the only one remindin’ you that your actions can have fuckin’ consequences for you or even for all of us. You – don't – think. You just do your thing and expect us to go with it.” 

“You’re a fuckin’ hypocrite, Shane. Bossing everyone around and just deciding for everyone what’s best.” You strode up to him and stared him down. 

He rose to his feet and met your hard gaze head on. 

“Yeah, but I let people know before I do somethin’. But that’s what you don’t like, right? You're too good, too clever to bother listenin’ to others, let alone me.”

“Only because you treat me like I’m some fucking idiot little girl. I’ve gone through just as much shit as you before we got to the farm, but you act like I know shit…”

“No, no, no, I don’t treat you like some fuckin’ idiot little girl. If anythin’, I treat you like a fuckin’ idiot, period. Woman or not, I don’t give a shit. You’re a fuckin’ piece of work, is what you are. You’re so fuckin’ hot headed and stubborn, you just always expect whatever I say to be some kinda bullshit.” 

You bared your teeth at him. “Cause you keep underestimating me. No matter what I say or do, you never trust me from the start… Fuck!” you spat, your temper flaring white-hot. “You drive me fucking crazy.”

Shane watched you intently as you ranted at him, his mouth pulling up into a lopsided smirk.

“Yeah… but you wanna know what pisses you off even more about all this?” Shane asked, his voice lowering as he leaned towards you, his head tilting to one side. 

“Oh, please, do enlighten me,” you scoffed with sarcasm dripping all over your words, but didn’t pull your head away. 

“No matter how much you might hate me… you still wanna fuck me.”

“What?!” you choked on your laugh as you stared at him incredulously. What the hell?

“Come on, you don’t think I noticed, but I see the way you look at me.” He lifted an eyebrow with his smirk still in place. 

“And how exactly do I look at you, pray tell?” you snorted, your mouth pulling up in amusement despite yourself. That wasn’t how you had expected the argument to go. 

Shane nodded his head from one side to the other as if he were thinking about his answer. 

“Definitely like you wanna fight me… but preferably in a bed,” he leered, to which you rolled your eyes with another snort. 

“Hm, you sound awfully sure of yourself,” you humored him with a chuckle, resisting the desire to cross your arms, not wanting to look defensive. 

Shane’s eyes slowly roved over your whole body. Then he moved just slightly closer until your faces were only a few inches apart. 

“Well, haven’t heard you denyin’ it even once, have I?” he rumbled in a low voice. 

You held his gaze defiantly but remained silent as your heartbeat picked up speed. 

“I’m sure you thought of a couple o’ ways to… settle our disagreements,” Shane continued, grinning knowingly. That smug bastard. 

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But I’m not sure you’d like some of the ideas I had,” you hedged, your tone light but your gaze between cutting and sultry. 

Shane laughed under his breath. 

“Ah, come on, Darlin’. Tell me what got your pussy all wet while thinkin' o’ me?”

Heat slowly spread through your face and body at his crass words and direct approach. 

“Did you think ‘bout ridin’ my face to shut me up?”

You managed to school your expression into being neutrally entertained, since Shane had hit dead center with this one. Hearing him speak your most private fantasies out loud had you breathing faster. You’d thought about riding that stupidly beautiful mouth and nose a few times, for sure, but you weren't going to admit to that. 

“Or maybe you’d be so good at suckin’ my cock with that pretty mouth of yours that I'd stop talkin'.”

Smirking and shaking your head, you inclined your head to one side. “To me, it rather sounds like you thought about it quite a bit.” You’d meant for it to come out as a taunt, but your voice came out more breathy, Shane’s words getting to you. 

Shane drew his tongue over the edge of his upper teeth. “Yeah… Maybe I have,” he replied slowly.

You both stood like that, eyes locked and breathing fast, as if in a sort of stand-off; one waiting for the other to move or say something. To give in. You didn't know how long you stood like that, the anticipation rising until it was practically unbearable. You wanted Shane, you could admit it to yourself, but to him? And what about Shane? Despite what he’d said, did he really—

Then Shane’s eyes fell to your mouth. 

As if that look triggered everything into action, you were suddenly on each other, kissing and biting at each other’s mouths. You wouldn’t be able to know who moved first, but something between you had finally snapped with that one look. Hands fisted in shirts and hair or flew over chests and asses, your bodies in constant movement as every moment of conflict between the two of you poured out in that instant. You each fought for dominance, but neither was willing to give in, and it didn’t really matter anyway. It certainly didn’t matter to you. You only needed more of this. It felt incredibly liberating to push against Shane in that way and have him pushing back with just as much strength; just the feeling of his beard scraping against your mouth and chin had your nerve endings on fire. Both sets of hands simultaneously went to the buttons of each pair of jeans, fingers grappling to get them open as fast as possible before you’d even removed your sweaters. Your lips never stopped their hungry and vicious exploration of each other’s mouths as you both shimmied out of your jeans and underwear before stepping out of them. You took the opportunity of Shane getting a foot caught in one pant leg to push him down on the couch. He’d unfolded it into a bed while you’d been in the bathroom, meaning that he had to brace himself with his hands behind himself so he wouldn’t fall flat on his back. With a smirk, you straddled his lap and crushed your mouth into his again. Shane growled and caught you without missing a beat as he sat up and pulled you further down. His hands squeezed your ass as soon as you could feel his hard dick pressing into your crotch. Slightly rocking your hips and sliding yourself over his length – of course that asshole had to have a dick as big as his ego – your hands went to the bottom of his sweater and pulled it up and off, your lips parting for a brief second. A moment later, Shane did the same with your top. Except not entirely. Instead of pulling it off as you lifted your arms, Shane twisted the fabric around your wrists into a sort of bind, stopping you from freeing your hands. He kept you like that, your hands held behind your head before he tugged them back a bit more, forcing you to arch your back, which pushed your chest out. You were now fully naked and sitting astride Shane, but barely able to move. The various candles around you lit up his face and his wolfish grin right before he bent his head towards your breasts. You groaned as he wrapped his lips around one nipple and sucked on it hard. He bit and sucked, nibbled and pinched at each of them, his free hand playing with the one his mouth wasn’t focused on and drawing moans and small cries out of you. 

As much as you enjoyed his mouth and beard on your breasts, you refused to stay bound and unable to move. While Shane was leaving marks all over your chest, you wiggled and twisted your wrists until you were able to slip one hand free. Obviously, had it been a serious situation, you doubted that you’d have been able to get out of Shane’s hold that easily. Between his distraction and the loose fabric of the sweater, however, you soon had a hand between your legs and on his dick. Shane jerked in your hold, his head lifting to your face while he let go of your other hand. Planting your knees more firmly on the bed and putting your weight forward, you pressed at his shoulders with both hands this time, until he fell onto his back. 

“Got some ideas?” he smirked, his tongue dancing over his top lip. 

“Didn’t you say something about shutting you up?” you asked conversationally, as you pressed a biting kiss to his mouth, before you swiftly moved up his body until your knees were at each side of his head.

The way Shane’s eyes lit up as he caught the meaning of your words had your pulse racing in your chest and heat pooling in your center. He apparently had really thought about this scenario before as well. His arms wrapped around your thighs as you lowered yourself over his face. With parted lips, you looked down as you slid your folds over his lips and up over his nose. That ridiculously gorgeous nose. Maybe broad and faintly crooked, but this combined with the slope of it was what made it perfect for exactly what you were doing. It felt even better than what you’d pictured while getting yourself off. Between the physical stimulation and the view, you weren’t surprised to find his nose and mouth already coated in your juices. 

“You're so much easier to be around when your mouth's busy with something else,” you teased, as you repeated the motion with relish. 

Shane shot you a look that had you bracing yourself for an attack, expecting him to hold you still as he ate you out harshly, but he took you by surprise once again. He did hold you in place, but his tongue oh so slowly slid through your lips, parting them, running around them, teasing your entrance before dragging the tip up to your clit with the faintest of touches. With the addition of his beard that he was rubbing maddeningly over your sensitive skin, this actually drove you wilder than if he’d gone fast and hard. Especially, since his eyes never left yours, him watching you watching him. As he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked on it with intent for the first time, he stared at you avidly, clearly getting off on the way your mouth opened further on a long cry of pleasure as you flung your head back in bliss. Leaning your head forward again, you fisted a hand in his hair and pulled his head back to rock your hips into his face harder. 

“Fuck yes, there we go, just like that,” you moaned, picking up speed as you rode his face for real this time when two of his fingers pushed inside you. 

The sensations were incredible as you moved up over his mouth and back down onto his thick fingers, the beard meeting them in the middle. But you needed to wipe that smug look off his face anyway, even as you felt the first signs of your release nearing.

“Mmh… I already liked you better with a beard ‘cause I don’t have to see half your stupid face, but this is a much better way to do it. Look how pretty you are now with my pussy hiding your face,” you taunted right after Shane managed to get another long moan out of you.

As expected, Shane glowered at you, which had you grinning in satisfaction. Except that you cried out in part shock and part outrage a few seconds later as Shane pressed the first knuckle of his thumb inside your ass, the finger wet with your essence. 

“You fucking asshole.” You slapped the top of his head, while Shane laughed darkly against your thigh, before he caught your wrist as you came back for more.

“More like your asshole, Darlin’,” he sneered before continuing. “Thought you’d enjoy it with how you always seem to have a stick up your ass.” 

Growling at him, you tugged at the arm he was holding, intending to hit him again, but Shane held strong this time, and instead, he used his shoulders to unsettle you and flip you onto your back next to him. You landed with a gasp and barely had the time to see him slipping between your legs. Since your mouth was still partly open from your hard breathing, it took Shane no effort to press two fingers between your lips and press them against your tongue. 

“Suck,” he ordered, his eyes dark, as he leaned over you, his body pressing yours down. 

You had half a mind to refuse, but it was the fact that you were sure that he was expecting that from you that had you doing as told. The flavor bursting on your tongue had you realizing that those fingers were the ones that had been inside you just a few moments ago. Keeping eye contact, you moaned around Shane’s fingers as you sucked and pulled at them, and felt satisfied by the answering groan you got in return. 

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Shane cried out a second later, as he pulled his fingers back, which you’d just bitten.

You grinned. You never said that you’d do what he wanted all the way. 

Growling and twisting his fingers in your hair, Shane kissed you harshly, his tongue fighting yours as he moved on his knees to shift his hips closer to yours. Feeling him reaching between your legs to guide himself inside you, you suddenly pushed at him. 

“Wait, wait… Not like that,” you breathed quickly. “Condoms. We should,” you trailed off at Shane’s nod of agreement, which you felt glad about because, as much as you hated to break the flow, there was no way that you were taking any chances. 

“Hold on.” Shane got off the couch and quickly rifled through one of the grocery bags. 

You watched him pull out a foil package and tear it open before he fitted the condom over his cock and knelt back between your parted legs. The way he touched you then and stared down at you irritated you. It wasn’t enough. It was too slow, too… You needed more of what was happening before.

You slapped him, the smack resounding in the small apartment. 

“Don’t you dare go soft on me now, Walsh,” you hissed. 

The slap had barely gotten Shane’s face to move, but it had the desired effect. His eyes flashed in warning, which only had you grinning devilishly, before he snarled and one of his hands went to your neck. The fingers curled around your throat, squeezing just that tiny bit that had you gasping in a sharp breath. 

“You never know went to fuckin’ stop,” he rasped viciously. 

Before you could reply, Shane pushed his hips forward and breached your entrance. He slid in with a long thrust, not bothering to give you any time to adjust to the sudden overwhelming feeling of being so full before he was pounding you into the bed. Your fingers scrabbled to get a hold on his shoulders as you screamed, while Shane slid his arms under your knees to pull your legs further apart and fold you almost in two. 

It felt amazing. Shane fucked you with brute force, his hips slapping against your ass, but the way he was staring down at you, focused on your expression, showed that he wasn’t only aiming for his own release. 

“That what you wanted, Sweetheart? Huh? Me fuckin’ that pretty pussy hard?” he whispered roughly against your lips, his beard tickling your skin. 

You took hold of his face and kissed him deeply in reply, moaning into his mouth with his every thrust. 

“Make me scream, Shane,” you half ordered and half begged, your voice low with want. “Do it.” 

With lust sparking inside his eyes, Shane reared back briefly only to throw your legs over his shoulders, and actually fold you in two this time as he picked up his earlier pace. A loud scream escaped you at the first plunge back inside you, followed by another and another. With his hands now free, one of Shane’s hands returned to your throat, the touch sending shivers down your spine as he fucked you without ever missing a beat, his eyes fixed on yours. You came completely undone a few moments later, the sheer force and intensity of Shane’s thrusts throwing you over the edge and into an orgasm that had you crying out as you could only take what Shane was giving you. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Shane chanted as you tightened some more around him, his movements losing their rhythm for a moment. “So fuckin’ gorgeous like this, fuck!” 

You had your eyes shut as the wave of bliss ran over you, but you forced them open when you felt Shane start to shudder on top of you. You needed to see him come, just like he had wanted to see you. Meeting his gaze, which never seemed to have left your face, you slid your legs from his shoulders and brought them to his still moving hips, and squeezed. 

Shane came with a long hiss of pleasure, his eyes fighting to stay open as you watched each other. 

You remained unmoving as you panted and stared at each other, Shane braced on top of you with his forearms at your shoulders while your hands held on to his biceps. Now that the heat of the moment had gone, you began to feel how cold it was getting in the room. 

After a few more silent seconds, Shane got up without a word and turned away. Exhaling a small breath at the complete change in mood, you rolled off the bed to vanish into the bathroom, picking up your clothes in passing. You used some of the now tepid water remaining from earlier to clean up and caught a glimpse of your messy and fucked out appearance in the mirror. 

“What now?” you muttered to yourself as you stared at your reflection and dressed quickly. 

You shook your head decisively a second later. No, this didn't change anything. It was just sex, nothing more. It had been good, more than good, but that was it. You weren't suddenly going to get along only because you'd fucked once. Shane had to be thinking the same, of that you were certain. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, you found Shane, fully dressed once more, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning over his rifle as he checked it on the coffee table by the light of a couple of candles. He'd also made the bed, and you headed for the side closest to the wall. Shane didn't look up, but it didn’t seem like he was trying to avoid you. You felt a certain measure of relief at that. No awkwardness. Good. 

With how soon it got dark in winter, you didn't know how late it was exactly, but you felt suddenly kind of exhausted. You wrapped the covers around yourself to stave off the cold, and turned on your side to face the wall, your eyes staring ahead for a moment before you closed them. 

“For what it’s worth,” Shane started after several minutes of silence. “I do trust you.”

Your eyes opened at that, landing on the wall again as you stayed where you were. 

“It’s just-” he continued, and you snorted this time, turning on your back to find him facing towards you and not the rifle anymore. You raised an eyebrow; of course there was a but. “You tend to let your emotions get the best of you… Like today, you…” he sighed, and you decided to wait him out before biting back. “Listen, I get it, okay? What you did for Judith? You know I’d do anythin’ for her ‘n Carl. But… I quickly realized that, in this world, you gotta make hard decisions in order to survive. Take a step back from your feelings, analyze, and then act… I know you think I’m an asshole about it, but it’s helped us survive through a lot of bad shit, cause people don’ play by the previous rules anymore,” he paused for a second as he stared at you. “But really? Most of all, all I’m askin’ you is that you talk to me before you run off like you did. Askin’ me to cover you or somethin’, y’know? Warn me.”

Rolling onto your side to face Shane, you rose on an elbow and held your head up with one hand. 

“You’re right,” you admitted after a beat of silence. You were aware that you let your emotions dictate a lot of your decisions, and that it wasn’t always a clever thing. As he’d said, in this world, things were different. Especially playing it solo like you’d done earlier. Now that things had calmed down, you knew that you could have died in the store had Shane not been as quick to react has he had. “Next time I’ll give you a heads-up.”

Shane hummed in satisfaction, and you grinned. 

“But,” you intoned, and Shane huffed out a snort. “As much as I get what you mean, sometimes you can’t ignore your gut feeling. When you just know that something’s up, that the split second decision you’ll make is what’s going to mean either life or death. Sometimes you don’t have the time to analyze anything.”

Shane watched you thoughtfully but nodded in agreement. 

“Look at us, agreeing on somethin’,” he chuckled as he put the rifle down next to the bed and got up. 

“Don’t get used to it,” you smirked up at him. “It’s not because we fucked once that we’re not going to fight anymore.” 

Shane barked out a loud laugh. “I wasn’t expectin’ anything less. The opposite would’ve surprised me more.”

Laughing as well, you watched Shane head into the bathroom and fell to your back again, your eyes closing. You briefly woke to the candles being extinguished and the bed dipping as Shane got in, but you only shifted under the covers and rolled to your other side. 

The next time you woke, late morning light was shining through the apartment window. Shane was standing next to it and looking outside. Stretching as you got out of bed, you quickly headed to the bathroom to take care of morning business before you joined Shane. 

“What’s the situation?” you asked as you looked outside as well and found far fewer walkers stumbling around in the parking lot. 

“This side looks okay, but we don’t know how it looks where the car is,” Shane grumbled. “This floor's not that high, but it’s gonna be a bit of a pain to get outta here if we can’t go back the other way.”

Your mouth twisted in thought, and you were about to suggest that you should go check over the vent, when something crackled with static inside your coat that was lying on a nearby chair. Shane and you stared at each other with wide eyes before you launched yourself at the coat, scrambling to find the walkie-talkie you always carried in case you needed to split up. Shane must have switched his off, but you’d completely forgotten that you’d let yours on. And if it wasn’t Shane talking through it, then it was someone from the farm, and they were close by. 

“Hey … or Shane? Do … guys copy? Over. ”

It was Jasmine’s voice. With a relieved glance in Shane’s direction, you finally got the device out and pressed the talk button. 

“Hey, Jas, we’re right here. Over” 

“Oh, thank God. We were so worried when we got home and you hadn’t come back. Where exactly are you? There are a lot of walkers around here. Over. ”

“We ran into a horde and now we’re stuck on the second floor of the store. The main access’s blocked. If you drive to the parking lot at the back of the store, we’ll be able to see you. Over.” You walked back to the window and looked outside. 

“Okay, we’ll be there soon. Over. ”

“Let’s make a rope with the sheets and get the bags down first,” Shane suggested as he opened the window to the cold winter air. 

Nodding, you both quickly put on your shoes and remaining clothes and each took a sheet to knot it with another. You felt the sudden need to laugh at the moment, feeling like you were in a bad movie and trying to escape prison. 

Shane was just done with the makeshift ropes when you heard an engine getting closer and looked through the window to see a blue pickup driving up to the store. You waved at Jasmine, who was accompanied by Hunter. A few walkers came closer as Hunter drove the back of the pickup towards the building, but Jasmine opened her side of the car and used her knife to silently kill them. Hunter jumped out of his side and you saw Jasmine slipping back into the car and into the driver’s seat as her boyfriend lifted himself into the bed of the pickup to receive the first bag of groceries. You made quick work, only stopping a couple of times to get rid of a few more walkers. With the last bag down, Hunter untied the rope so you could get down yourselves. Shane had wrapped the sheets around a long and thick rod of iron that he’d found in the debris in the corridor. It was longer than the width of the window so you could slide down the rope without fearing that it would slip free. Shane let you go first. As Shane had said, the floor wasn’t high and it took little effort to get into the pickup. Shane followed you quickly, and Hunter hit the roof of the car to indicate for Jasmine to drive. She drove towards the other side of the store and towards your own pickup. You jumped out at the side of the gas station and watched Hunter join Jasmine again before they were off and honking to get the walkers’ attention. It worked as intended, and soon enough you were able to run towards your car and climb inside. 

“Did you use the shortcut? Over,” you asked through the walkie-talkie, while Shane put the key in the ignition and started the car. 

“No, we’re driving east for now. You were talking about a horde earlier and I think that’s what we saw on the shortcut so we backtracked. Over,” Hunter explained, as Shane swerved through the walkers to join your two friends and follow behind them. 

“Okay, east it is. See you at home. Over and out.”

It took you an extra hour to get back to the farm, but you made sure that you wouldn’t lead any walkers back with you. Nicole, who was standing on the porch steps and watching you pull up, drew you into a bear hug as soon as you were out of the car. You smiled into the side of her neck as you squeezed her back. 

The rest of your family came out of the large house as well. Judith was sitting on her father’s hip and sucking on a pacifier while Carl came running towards Shane. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Shane cooed, as he approached father and daughter, kissing her tiny head after he’d hugged Carl and ruffled his hair. 

“You guys okay?” Rick asked, scanning the both of you for injuries. 

“Yeah, we’re good, don’t worry,” Shane said, as he walked up the steps and started explaining what had happened to the people following him. 

“And here I thought that you’d finally killed each other,” Nicole said, laughing at her joke as you began walking up the porch steps with her.

You smiled and hummed, faking a serious look. “It was a near miss,” you grinned as you entered the crowded kitchen.

Shane was drinking down a tall glass of water, and your eyes met over the glass. 

“What was a near miss?” Maggie asked from her perch on a stool. 

“Before they left, I was joking about them trying to not kill each other and I thought that they might have failed when they didn’t come back,” Nicole explained with a small chuckle and got an amused snort from everyone. 

“Yeah,” Shane laughed under his breath. “Sure was a near miss.” 

You looked at each other for a second, faces impassive, but you were both clearly thinking about the same thing. Then the moment passed, and Shane continued the story like nothing ever happened.

After all, it had only been a one-time thing…

[dyns33]

All fine

I'm still not done with Shane.

I did a little Reader!Rick x Shane, even if I already wrote something a bit similar.

"I know. It's fine."

It had taken a long time for Shane to come to Y/N, his eyes indicating that he was finally ready to tell her the truth.

Before, they had been very happy.

They had met at work, at the Atlanta police station, first forced to work together despite their differences, then becoming friends, lovers, then married.

When Y/N had taken a bullet, Shane's face was the last thing she saw before losing consciousness.

"No. Baby, no. Shh. Shh, shh, shh. You stay with me, okay ? It's okay, you stay with me. You're not leaving me. I love you, baby. Stay with me. No, stay with me ! Y/N !”

What happened next, Y/N still didn't fully understand today. She had been taken to the hospital, and Shane had come to see her every day while she was in a coma, and then the dead started walking.

The first thing her husband had wanted to do was go get her, not caring about the chaos and danger. But Y/N hadn't woken up, and moving her would mean killing her, so Shane had barricaded the door so she wouldn't be eaten in her sleep and left, crying.

According to him, he had been a coward. An asshole. He should have stayed in the room with her, until the end, so they could die together, or he should have been there when she finally opened her eyes.

But he was afraid. He didn't want to die.

He had found a group of survivors, including his best friend Rick's wife and son, who had not survived.

Shane had never looked at Lori before. He had always seen Rick's wife, nothing else, and he didn't look at other women since he was married anyway. He wasn’t really looking at her now, even though he thought Y/N was dead. He just felt alone and hopeless.

When Y/N had arrived at camp, it had been over a month since the apocalypse had started, and two weeks since he had been secretly sleeping with Lori.

She didn't want others to know, especially her son, because they would ask too many questions. He didn't want the others to know because he was ashamed. He felt like he was abandoning Y/N again. The fact that she was alive didn't help.

Oh, he was happy she came back. He had kissed her again and again without being able to stop, crying like a baby, refusing to let go and apologizing.

"Everything is fine." she told him, without knowing what he was really talking about.

Nothing more happened with Lori after her return. It wasn't a problem, she wasn't jealous, her son was her priority, and Shane continued to do everything to protect them.

Strangely, it was Andrea who was less accepting of the situation. Not only had she guessed what their leader was doing in secret, waiting to be able to taste him when Lori had finally thrown him away, but she found him too nice, too gentle, since his wife had returned.

"You seemed to have more balls before, but I guess she's the one calling the shots in the couple."

"You know what ? Yeah, exactly." Shane muttered, standing very close to her. "She's the one who decides. She's always been the brains of our duo, and I the muscles. She says, I do."

“And you don’t mind being a good doggie ?”

"Don't think I'm a good doggie. I bite when necessary, and take care of problems without her needing to know."

The threat was clear enough, and Andrea seemed to calm down for a time. Her remarks hadn't managed to disturb Shane, but it was true that the dynamic of their relationship had always been complicated, at work and at home.

Very dependent, very possessive, very jealous, Shane always needed to receive Y/N's approval, to know that she was proud, to feel her eyes on him.

He had done some bad things since the end of the world, but one was worse than the others, and he didn't dare admit it to her, too afraid of losing her.

When he finally found the courage, it had been almost four months, they had found refuge on a farm, and Lori was pregnant.

“I made a huge mistake…” he began, sitting down next to her during her shift. "I thought you were dead. I really thought you were dead."

"I know."

"No, listen. I really need to tell you…"

"Shane. I know. It's okay."

One of the reasons he fell in love with Y/N was because of her intelligence. Her ability to deduce things, which helped her a lot to understand him when he wasn't able to speak.

She had noticed his behavior, Lori's behavior. She had seen the signs. And on top of that, Andrea had spoken to her.

Y/N had known for weeks, saying nothing, waiting for him to come to her. And now that it was done, she promised him that everything was okay, touching his back and smiling.

"… No."

"What no ?"

"No !" he repeated, jumping out of his chair, suddenly furious. "Everything's not okay ! You should yell at me ! Hit me ! You can't act like you don't care ! I cheated on you, dammit !"

“Calm down, please.”

"Hit me ! Insult me ! Do something !"

“Shane…” Y/N sighed as she tried to touch his cheek, continuing to respond with gentleness instead of the violence he expected, that he demanded.

If she had done that to him, he would have gone crazy. He would have killed the guy, and he would have wanted to hurt her, and since he loved her too much for that, Shane would have hurt others, himself, before doing something really stupid.

He had thought she would react the same way, and like when she returned, he was not relieved that he had been wrong.

"You don't fucking care !"

"I do care ! I understand."

"You understand ?! You were rotting in a hospital room for a few days and I was already taking off her panties !"

"You were desperate ! You were alone ! It doesn't feel good, I wish it didn't happen, that we were together, that you didn't touch her, but it happened, I understand why, I love you and I don't want you to torture yourself about it anymore !'

Yes, Y/N had always been the brains of their relationship, and the heart, and everything in between. Shane just felt like an idiot who was lucky to have her, completely clueless as to why she was with him.

Before, she had forgiven him for a lot of things, the outings in bars, the fights, the fits of jealousy. He wasn't perfect, but she accepted him.

Nothing forced her to stay with him, now that society was in pieces, their rings no longer meant anything, and he had clearly proven himself to be nothing but a cowardly bastard.

Despite this, she had chosen him. He had been her first thought, her goal, and she had returned to him without the slightest hesitation, not suspecting what he had done.

“I abandoned you…” he sobbed, falling to his knees. “I let you get shot, I left you in that hospital, I cheated on you…”

"None of this is your fault. Nothing. You were there to help me, you closed the hospital door. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done that. You held on because she comforted you, otherwise I would have found a group that would have told me you were dead.”

"I'm too cowardly to die."

"Stop it. Please stop. You've been upset for weeks, I see the look in your eyes. Sometimes… Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier if you'd left the door open."

"Don't say that !" he yelled, grabbing her by the shoulders. "I love you ! I love you so much…I don't want to lose you…"

"I'm here. I love you too. Shane, I love you more than anything. It's okay." Y/N said, kissing him tenderly, pulling him into her arms, like she did after every pointless argument.

"She is pregnant."

"I know. It's okay. We're together, everything's okay."

The world was still shit, and it didn't seem like a quick fix could be found, but Shane decided that as always, he just had to listen to his wife and she would know what to do.

And if that wasn't the case, he would fix the problem without her knowing, and it would be all fine.

[deliciousangelfestival]

I'll be said if you...||Lloyd Hansen-Part 2

Character: Lloyd Hansen x CIA!Reader

Warning: Kidnapping, manipulation, dead Character.

Summary: You got caught by Lloyd.

Part 1, Part 2,-

Main Masterlist || Buy me Ko-fi please

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 

Your eyes flutter open to an unfamiliar room. The aftermath of the bomb explosion echoed in your mind. Your surroundings seemed hazy, and the muffled sounds of distant commotion reached your ears. 

As you tried to piece together the fragments of your memory, confusion etched across your face, and her hand instinctively went to your temple, still feeling the residual effects of the fainting spell. 

The room's unfamiliarity and lingering disorientation left you momentarily adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Lloyd was sitting beside your bed. He looked at you with a smirk. “You have a good dream, sunshine?”

You were too weak to respond; then, you saw the most wanted man standing behind him. It’s him, the person who killed your foster father, former CIA agent Shane. You realize a belt is binding you when you try to move your hand. This bastard makes you his prisoner. 

Lloyd noticed your fearful eyes. He glanced at Shane and looked back at you. “Let's do an introduction first, ooh, like foreplay since we’ll kill each other later.”

You closed your eyes and sighed. “Why wait? Just kill me now.”

Lloyd put his hand on his chest and acted like he was broken. “It will break my heart, sweetheart. At least let’s have dinner first.”

You rolled eyes your eyes and thought, ‘Dear God, please kill me now.’

Lloyd crossed his arms, “Do you want to know why former director Nathan cares so much about you?”

You hummed without looking at him. You have known Nathan since you were a kid; your father and Nathan have been best friends since they were young. 

But the next word that came out from Lloyd's was unexpected: “Because your father, Nathan, and the rest are part of the team who created the Zombie Program. But here's a thing: Nathan and others made a switch kill. When the agents turn 40, they will die.” 

Lloyd pointed at the man behind him. “Only Shane survived.” He looked at the deadliest agent, who had no expression. It’s understandable since he got injected with so many drugs. 

Your eyes widened, your hand gripping the bed tightly. The shocking revelation hung in the air, and you struggled to process the words, unable to accept the truth that had just shattered your world.

“That’s impossible. My father is not a person who is capable of doing this.”

Lloyd nodded. “True. Your father only the typewriter in that program. But in Shane’s revenge book, he is still the bad guy.”

You remembered you and Noah are working together to find out why many retired CIA got killed.

The revelation still does not make you relieved. Knowing the truth that your father knew this program existed and didn’t do anything made you want to go to the afterlife and ask him why he didn’t stop this inhumane experiment. 

Lloyd moves closer to grab your hand and rub it gently. It’s useless for you to move away since your body is trapped. 

“I’m going to need your help to take my revenge… Excuse me, Shane, revenge by killing the other two creators. There were three. It was Nathan, well, R.I.P. for him.” Lloyd made a gun gesture to Shane. “That was a good shot.” 

He looked at you again. “Then Senator Aaron Reynolds and Vice-President Jackson Mitchell.” 

After Lloyd said those names, it triggered Shane to lose his composure.

“Na-ah, I don’t want you to get another seizure.” Lloyd takes a remote from his pocket and presses one button. It made Shane faint and fall to the ground. 

You can’t believe it, Lloyd is still heartless towards his new friend “You…”

Lloyd raised his arms. “It will take a while to explain. Right now, I just need you to be healthy to meet the Senator next week.” “I don’t even know him!!!” You just found out that your father knew two crucial figures of this country. He never mentioned it to you. And what Lloyd just said is that he and Shane will kill Senator Robin. “Sssh…” Lloyd gently put his finger on your lips. "It’s okay I’ll arrange everything. And you will get your revenge too.”

You're left puzzled, not fully grasping the details of his plan or how it involves you. “Me? I don’t have any problem with them.” “Huh?” Then, all of a sudden, Lloyd let out a loud laugh. It’s been a while since he could laugh like this. In comparison, you don’t understand what is so funny for him.

“Oh dear, you don’t know your mother car accident was caused by them?”

Taglist:

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@esotericgalaxy

@magnificentsaladllama

@buckysteveloki-me

@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters

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@bval-1

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If you want to be removed, you could inform me.

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 35

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📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

Cue my giddy snickering.

"So, what'd you do?" My Dad asks the prisoners, as we're eating breakfast in the courtyard the next morning. "Whose life you ruin?"

All the walker bodies have been dragged into a pile over by the dumpsters and burnt into nothing more than a few lumps of charcoal, leaving the courtyard as quiet as it's been since we got here. With the snarls and growls finally gone, I can hear birds chirping on the roofs of the cell blocks, the beautiful sound of silence beyond them. It might be the first time we've been completely sealed away from danger.

If Rick wasn't still inside with Lori, Carl, and the baby, I think he'd feel the same way.

"Nobody's but my own, man," Oscar chuckles dryly. He shakes his head, spooning some stewed corn and beans into his mouth, chewing absentmindedly. "There's nothing more to it than my people were poor as dirt. Got to be that I was dumb and desperate enough to steal from a Walmart. I should'a been handing my resume in, or something, but no. Sentenced three years over a pack of diapers."

I look up from my bowl to study the regret on his face, finding myself surprised. Shop-lifting diapers?

That wasn't what I thought he was in prison for at all.

"Sorry to hear that," Glenn says sympathetically, exactly my thoughts. "World wasn't exactly fair before all this, either."

"Me, I got caught with, y'know," Axel gestures vaguely, "Drugs and stuff. In my car. I was parked outside a police station, and I ain't had a home at the time. I think wanted to get locked up, if that makes sense. I'd been in and out a bunch of times. Only thing I knew."

"Sounds like someone I knew," Dad scoffs, and I know he's talking about my Uncle Merle. "The dumb bastard."

"So, you ain't, like," I frown at the prisoners in confusion, "Bad?"

Oscar laughs a little. "Not everybody who ends up in prison is bad, kid."

"I know that," I argue as I eat another spoonful of stew. "My Daddy was in prison, and he ain't bad. But some of 'em is."

"We ain't had the best track record when it comes to strangers," Maggie explains to them, putting it lightly. "Or even friends."

"Hey," He shrugs. "No offence taken. You gotta be careful out here."

"There were some seriously bad eggs in there, though," Axel agrees with me. "You bet'cha. Made life a livin' Hell for the rest of us."

Oscar looks at my Dad. "You're her Dad, right? You went to prison, too?"

"Arrendale State Prison," He nods, slurping up the stew in his bowl. "February of '04. I was released far before all this shit started."

"What crime?"

"Aggravated manslaughter."

Axel's eyes widen. "Damn, mister. I ain't sayin' you don't look the type, but I would'a thought you stole a car or somethin'."

Wiping his mouth, he smirks. "Who says I ain't did both?"

"Skills like those sound like they'd come in handy nowadays," Oscar says, "So, Hell. We ain't here to judge anyone in your group."

"You gotta stop saying, 'your group'," Maggie scolds him, smiling. "We got off on the wrong foot, but for all intents and purposes, there's only one group here. We ain't have to be best friends or anythin', and we'll be watchin' you, but you've proven yourselves."

"But I thought you said—...?"

Yesterday, we served 'em a death sentence by forcing them outta the gates — Today we're eating stew together. 

"Listen. There was a man named Shane," Glenn levels with them. "He was the first one. He was Rick's best friend for fifteen years and we all watched him go crazy without any power to stop it, until he tried kidnapping Harley. He was shot and beaten to death."

There's the loud, BANG, and the sound of my crying spilling out afterwards. That was one of the worst days of my life.

The prisoners share a glance with each other.

"The second man was Jim," He continues. "He didn't have the best interests of the group at heart and we kicked him out for that. And when we ran into him a few months later, we saw that hadn't changed. He threatened to ruin what we'd built. We hung him in a barn."

That one didn't make much sound at all — Barely a, snap.

"Your friends, Tomas and Andrew. And there were so many others. A group that took over a town near our old farm, people on the road, assholes, thieves. We've got good people here. We're family. But we haven't let our goodness make us idiots."

I'd almost forgotten the violence we'd committed over the past year, the deaths, a hundred little wounds scarred over with time.

Axel and Oscar remain silent as they stomach his words, the underlying threat there — We've killed better men for less.

Shane was Rick's right-hand man, a brother, and one of the most important people to the group, but even that couldn't save him in the end. Jim was a father, a resilient little weasel who worked harder than anybody else back at the quarry, and I saw him die, too. I saw all manner of men die. The prisoners risked their lives by leavin' this place, but they also risked them by comin' back to help us. They chose to do that. I'on know too much about what makes a trustworthy stranger, and I ain't even sure if such a thing exists, but I imagine it's a start. 

"Ya ain't idiots," Axel agrees, looking between Dad, Glenn, and Maggie with his honest eyes. "You can trust us."

Oscar puts on a reassuring smile. "We get it, man."

For two fellers who've just been threatened with torture and execution if they misbehave, they don't look so frightened.

I guess they don't plan on it, then.

"Good," Glenn slowly nods at their answers. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to you, by the way. You're welcome."

Axel's moustache skews to the side as he smiles. "Thank you, dudes."

"And it ain't just kiss-ass for a bowl of stew," Oscar warns us, gesturing with his spoon. "'Cause this shit tastes like ass."

"I'll let the chef know," Maggie jokes.

It looks like our group just got a little bit bigger.

"Go on, then." Dad juts his chin out in the direction of the cell block. "My guess is you ought'a get outta them scrubs if yer stayin'. Just ask for a lady, Carol — She can sort that out for ya. T-Dog's old stuff should fit ya, but I ain't so sure about Stringbean."

"'Stringbean'?" Axel complains, looking down at himself.

"Maybe you can find somethin' in Glenny's wardrobe," Maggie smiles, poking him in the ribs. "Ain't that right?"

"Hardy, har."

As they stand from the table with their empty bowls, Axel adds, "We really appreciate it. Thanks for not letting us die."

"Sure. Git," Dad grits, watching as they make their way back into the prison, before looking at me. "What'chu thinkin', chicken?"

Chewing my stew, I garble, "I gesh dey don't sheem sho bad."

"Nah, they don't," He agrees, reaching out with his spoon to clean the dribble off my chin. "You don't gotta worry about 'em, okay?"

I swallow as he pulls away, warning him, "But I'on think Mouse is a fan. He was growlin' at 'em."

"I'm sure they'll figure that out," Glenn reassures me, chuckling. "If that's the only problem they have, I'd say they got off lucky."

"Not if they screw this up, they won't," I exclaim, raising my spoon like a knife. "That happens, I'mma knife 'em in the knee!"

"Hey, and I'll let'cha," Dad jokes as he puts his hand over mine to lower the spoon. "But right now, I want'chu to finish all yer food."

"Okay, Dad."

Breakfast goes by slowly, like any good morning should.

The baby — Until the Grimes agree on a name, that's what I'll call her. The baby — loves to sleep.

I guess being born takes up just as much energy as giving birth, because Lori says until she's a few months old, this is all she'll do. I can't exactly play soccer with her right now, or even teach her to draw a picture, but I don't mind waiting. She's cute enough just like this, with her eyes closed, small tummy rising and falling with softs breaths as she dozes off in my arms, hopefully dreaming of something sweet.

What do babies dream of? Milk? Sheep, prancing in circles? They even got enough memories to form a nightmare, yet?

Watching on with a fond smile, Lori muses quietly, "I told you."

The baby makes a grunt, squirming around in the tightly swaddled blanket before she relaxes, content.

No. No nightmares.

Looking up at my Dad, I ask him, "Was I like this?"

A faint smirk tugs at his mouth, as if he's recalling a memory. "Nah, you was a fiend. Your Momma and I couldn't get'chu to sleep for nothin'. Had to pace around with you for hours on the porch just for a wink. Sing, hum. Let'chu listen to the rain, cars, birds."

"Sounds like she was a fussy one," Lori smiles, reaching out to stroke her thumb across the baby's smooth head.

"I ain't never met a baby who could pull an angry face quite like Harley could," He scoffs. "Had the temper of a stick of dynamite."

Under the weight of his tired gaze, Rick smirks a little. "So, not much has changed, then." 

Sticking my tongue out at them both, I look back down at the baby, gasping as her eyelids begin to flutter.

"She's openin' her eyes," I exclaim with excitement, handing her off to Lori. Her Momma should be the first thing she sees. Not me!

"Oh, my gosh," The woman breathes.

All at once, with her forehead wrinkled against the brightness of the room, she opens her eyes for the very first time. Green. Wow. They're the same colour as Lori's, dark and pretty like the wet leaves on a forest floor, staring curiously up at the matching pair.

Rick scoots closer and grins down at her, a chuckle escaping him as she studies his face next.

Even though I love my Mom and Dad more than anything in the world, and I wouldn't trade them for anybody else, I can still say with certainty that this baby is real lucky to have a Dad like Rick and even luckier to have a Mom like Lori. She got gentle hands, a voice made for telling fairytales, and the patience of a saint. Her smile is the type that nobody could be mad at when they're on the receivin' end of it.

My Gramma Dixon ain't had one of them smiles. In all the photos I've ever seen of her, she had a smile like a row of yellow piano keys, black holes left where her rotten teeth had fallen out from smoking so much and so often, but I had never seen it in person.

When my Dad was thirteen years old, the same age as Carl, the smoke of a stray cigarette caught onto his Momma's bedsheets while she was sleepin' and she, the house, and everything that was in it went up in flames, with a single black smear to prove it ever stood.

That's why whenever my Dad finishes a cigarette, he spends a second longer than anybody else would making sure it's out.

Glenn's got it right — World wasn't exactly fair before all this, either.

Havin' any Mom, let alone a Mom as good as Lori, was a special thing even before the world went to shit.

"She gon' love havin' you as her Momma," I smile to Lori.

And if you were my Momma, I'm too embarrassed to say, I'd be lucky, too.

As if I've just minced her heart between my fingers, the woman pouts, managing a smile. "Thank you, honey. That's nice of you to say."

I don't ever remember dreaming of milk or sheep or soft things with gentle colors, but I'm glad this baby will, even if just for now.

The sound of the toilet flushing fills my ears as I push past the stall door, approaching my Dad who's waiting for me by the sinks. He lifts me by the armpits onto the little plastic foot stool that Glenn found a few days ago, carefully setting me down on it.

"You sure I can't stay up just a little longer?" I ask as I tweak on the water, pumping soap into my hands.

"How much is, a little longer?"

"Hm... Five minutes?"

"I already let'chu finish yer card game with Carl and Beth," He reminds me. "My generous mood's run out, now. It's late, y'know."

"Okay, Captain Obvious," I sigh, scrubbing my hands together under the water before shutting it off.

"Watch it, Captain Smartass." He takes my hand and helps me jump off the stool, leading me through the door and down the corridor, before he randomly comes to a stop. As I turn around to face him, he crouches down to my level. "But I gotta talk to you first."

"About what?" I pout, worried I might be in trouble. "If Carl told you I cheated at cards, it ain't tru—"

"I ain't talkin' about that," He reassures me, raising his brows. "And you're lucky I ain't, 'cause I'on believe you for a second."

"Okay. Maybe I peeped at Beth's cards."

"Yeah. Maybe." With an empty chuckle, his expression slowly dampens, turning serious. "It's about Axel and Oscar."

"Huh?"

"I trust 'em," He begins, but I got no idea where he's goin' with this. "What I always saw in Shane and all the other douchebags like 'im, I'on see in them. Some folks, you can just tell. Axel's a sorry loser just like yer Daddy and Uncle Merle used to be, and Oscar's a Dad."

My Dad's what some people call, a good judge of character. Nodding along in agreement, I let him continue.

"If I thought they was any sorta threat to you," He promises, "Even if it was just breakin' yer favorite crayon, then—..."

"Then, you'd kill 'em," I finish, remembering the sight of his shadow swinging down on Jim's face through the slats of the shed wall, the big, black bag the paramedics wheeled outta the woods, the way Shane's blood pooled out across the dirty tiles. "I know."

"So, I guess this ain't really about them, 'cause they ain't gonna hurt you. It's about you, baby."

"M—Me?"

"You ain't in trouble." He says again, soothing my nerves. "I prolly should'a had this conversation wit'chu months ago, but you know I ain't so good with 'conversations', so it's happenin' now. I need you to know what happened with Shane weren't your fau—"

"Why are you sayin' that?" I cut him off, feeling like it's wrong for Shane's name to be in his mouth. "I d—"

"Just listen to me." He grabs my shoulders, stern and strong. Quips and hot venom brew on my tongue, but I bite it down, knowing that if I lash out, I'll actually be in trouble. I can't stop him from mentioning Shane, violating him even in that way, like he used to do with my Momma's name when he threw insults at her and told lies about her to strangers. I have to remember — Shane ain't my Momma. They was both sick, but only one loved me. I'm pretending to know which one that was. "It weren't. But we could'a done things differently."

Don't talk to strangers, He and Merle always told me. Is that what he means?

"I-I don't get it," I shake my head in confusion. "I'm allowed to talk to Axel and Oscar. They ain't strangers."

"Neither was Shane, baby." He counters. "Spent so much energy teachin' you not to trust assholes like Ronnie, I ain't never taught you not to trust assholes like Shane — Typa guy that makes it past yer doorstep and tries to be yer friend."

I temper my glare. "What'chu gettin' at, Daddy?"

"You know grown men can't be friends with little girls." He explains patiently, his grip on me tightening. "Rick and Glenn, they're different. They's like yer Uncles. Ya get along with 'em, but they're there to protect ya, just like I am. Axel and Oscar ain't like that. You ever meet anybody like 'em, you don't do anythin' that makes you uncomfortable. You don't give 'em anythin' they want. You don't let 'em trick ya."

Shane. I did all those things with Shane. He did all those things with me.

"And you always tell me if any of that happens. Always. Ya ain't never gon' get in trouble for what other people choose to do."

"The prisoners ain't tried to be my friend," I assure him. "And I ain't tried to be theirs. Promise."

"I know. I'm proud'a you for that." His grip loosens, fingers sliding down my arms, dropping in his lap. "But do you understand me?"

"I think so."

"I'mma somethin' better'un, I think."

Frowning, I think. Shane weren't my fault. Dad said that since the beginning. I guess he only wants to make sure it never happens again, like how it ain't yer fault if a dog bites ya, but you can always learn to recognize a violent animal and turn your back on its teeth.

I shouldn't have let Shane corner me in the car while the rest of the group was distracted in that supermarket.

Shouldn't have played into his stupid game, neither, by punching him in the face when he asked me to.

Definitely shouldn't have agreed to be his friend.

Dad's always gonna look out for me, but, "I understand."

"Okay. Good girl. Smart girl," He nods, standing and taking my hand in his, leading me down the corridor. "I love you, chicken."

"Love you, Daddy. But I thought you said I was allowed to knife 'em?"

"You can knife 'em first, and then I'll kill 'em," He jokes. "Deal?"

"Deal."

He chuckles to himself. "Let's get'chu to bed, then."

"Easy, boy," Axel smiles, scratching Mouse's ear as he watches him gobble up the meat in his hand. "There ya go."

From my seat nearby, as I wait to leave with Dad and Glenn for a supply run, I don't bother callin' Mouse over yet. The dog ain't my toy or nothin', but I should still share him with the prisoners. I know they ain't seen one in years, so I let him have the moment.

When Carl walks past me, I ask him, "You sure ya don't wanna come with us?"

"Thanks, but I'm sure. I'm just tired today," He turns to send me a smile, before continuing toward Axel. "Hey. Got more food."

"Oh, thanks, dude," He says happily, accepting it.

"He really likes this stuff."

It's taken almost a full month not only for Mouse to warm up to the new members of our group, but for the others, too.

We ain't best friends or nothin', like Maggie said, but it turns out they're a better fit for our family than I first thought.

Axel really is just a sorry loser with a good heart, who I've learnt over the past couple days wasn't kiddin' when he said he loved dogs. He's almost never more than a few feet away from Mouse, bribing him with treats or scraps of his own dinner, sometimes accidently calling him, Goober, the name of his old dog. When I look at him, I see all the other sorry losers we used to live with in our trailer park, his twangy accent and his stories of punking the police when he was younger weirdly comforting to me. Dad don't seem so offended by him, neither.

Oscar's the type of person who talks a lot around the dinner table, just like Carl and Maggie are. He's always got a snarky, good-natured joke to throw in here and there, or a reassuring tidbit to share when somebody opens up about something in their past.

When it comes to his own past, though, he suddenly ain't so much of a chatterbox no more.

I can only assume his wife and baby are among all the people we've lost, too. I wouldn't wanna talk about 'em, neither.

Rick watches Oscar standing there with a guarded look on his face, my Dad drawing his attention away by nudging his elbow, holding two guns out to him. With another glance at Axel, who's giggling like a small child at Mouse's enthusiasm for the food, he takes them.

"Axel. Oscar," Rick calls out, coming to a stop in front of them. As they look up at him, he offers a gun to each of them.

Axel's eyes widen as he stands up. "You serious, Mister?"

Oh — That's another thing. Axel doesn't call people Ma'am or Mister to butter 'em up. It's just his Southern manners.

"Daryl and Glenn are leaving for a few hours," He explains as Axel hesitantly reaches out for the gun, treating it more like a live grenade. For all the petty crimes he's committed, I'on think he's ever actually held a gun. Oscar takes his slightly more confidently, knowing exactly where to put his fingers, though he don't seem to like it. "With them gone, I think it's time you stepped up, helped us protect this place."

"Sure thing," Oscar nods, checking the mag is empty before stuffing the gun in his pants line. "Happy to, chief."

"Now, you mentioned you got experience," He reminds him, before turning to look expectantly at Axel.

In the silence that follows, the man offers, "I shot a slingshot, once. Busted in some rich old lady's Rolls-Royce window with it."

Rick's expression remains stoney. "A slingshot?"

"Yeah! Real cool one."

"A slingshot."

Awkwardly, he says again, "Yeah."

"Right." Rick gives him a friendly pat on the back, almost knocking him off balance. "We're gonna have to train you up a bit."

"Well, have fun," Glenn muses as he slings his backpack on, with Dad gesturing for me to stand up. "See you guys later."

Carl smiles, "See you later."

"C'mon, boy!" I call out to Mouse, clapping my hands. "Time to go."

"Remember, she doesn't handle the whole-wheat blend very well," Lori warns us, rocking baby Judith in her arms. It's good to finally see her outta bed again, to have her sitting around the breakfast table next to Herschel just like she always used to do.

"We'll look around for somethin' different this time. Trust me. I remember," Dad reassures her as he leads us up the concrete steps and pushes past the exit door, letting it close behind us before he mutters to me and Glenn, "She only threw up on my face twice."

"Eugh," I giggle, walking alongside them down the corridor. "That's gross."

"You ain't gonna talk to me about gross, missy," He jokes. "Who's that kid that spat chewed-up salami into my lap again, Rhee?"

Glenn chuckles at that. "Oh, yeah. I think her name was—...?"

"Somethin' beginin' with an, H, right?"

"Shut up," I giggle even harder as Glenn opens the main door, turning to lock it behind us. "It was an accident!"

"Ha—? Harriet," Dad pretends to struggle guessing, completely ignoring me. "Holly? Harley—?"

"Ohhh. Harley," Glenn exclaims as he stuffs the key back in his pocket. "That was it."

"Yeah, that's ringin' a bell."

"Shut up," I complain again, dragging him over to the gate. "C'mon. Me and Mouse wanna go!"

Agreeing, the dog lets out a, ruff.

This might only be the fourth time I've been on a scavenge this month, but I'd be lyin' if I said it ain't just as excitin' as the first time. Sure, the adults watch over me and Carl the whole time, and we only ever go to the same store, but everybody says we been doin' a good job and it's true. The worst thing that's happened to us is getting spooked by a rat running across our path, and even that was fun. 

"Okay, we're comin'," Dad chuckles raspily, letting me pull him along. "We're comin'."

"What do you wanna play this time, Harley?" Glenn asks.

As Dad opens the gate to the field, Mouse is the first one out, running ahead of us down the path.

I kick a pebble down the hill, thinking. "What about eye-spy?"

He locks it shut. "Didn't we do that one last time?"

"Yeah, but I lost," I argue as we follow after the dog.

"So, a re-match," Glenn says in understanding. "Sure. Who's going first?"

"Me!"

"Is it that leaf over there?"

"Nope."

"What about that leaf over there?"

"Still nope."

"That leaf?"

"You can't just guess every single leaf you see, Harley," Glenn chuckles. "The game would never end."

"So, it's not a leaf?"

"Not a leaf," He agrees. "Come on. You can do it."

Walking down the side of the highway, I look around for anything, Small and green. If it ain't leaves, or any of the hundreds of other things I've guessed so far, I'm screwed. In the distance, the tall sign for the strip mall pokes out from the trees, growing closer.

"Can't just look at what's in front of ya," Dad says helpfully, squeezing my hand. "Hunter's eye's gotta see everythin'."

Humming in concentration, I look down instead, noticing it instantly — The green beetle clinging to my shorts.

A giggle escapes me as I rest a finger near the insect's tiny head, letting it crawl onto me, holding it up to my face. "It was you!"

"Point for Harley," Glenn smiles as we step over the curb, entering the dumpster area behind the strip mall. The forest falls away behind us, making way for concrete and scattered litter. "You were taking so long; I was worried it was gonna fly away."

I turn a suspicious eye on my Dad. "Hang on. Did you let me win?"

"I might'a noticed it a couple minutes ago," He muses.

I flinch as the beetle's pearly wings whip out from under its shell, flickering into a blur, before it takes off into the trees.

"Aw." I pout, distracted by its disappearing shape as we approach the side of the building. "Bye, beetl—"

"Stop."

Stop?

Dad drops my hand. He slings his crossbow off his shoulder, training the sights ahead of us as Glenn grabs me, forcing me up against the wall with him. The warm brick presses against my back, Glenn's thick heartbeat thudding rhythmically beneath my fingers as I grip his wrist. I hold my breath. Suddenly, we're hiding — From what? From who? — and I couldn't care less that we didn't finish the game.

What's wrong, I desperately want to ask them, instead clinging tighter to Glenn, cowering, making myself small.

I try to get a glimpse of what's going on in the main parking lot, but I'm not close enough.

With his shoulders tensed and footsteps light, Dad creeps forward, peeking around the wall.

"It's okay," Glenn whispers to me, turning to scold a growling Mouse, "Shh, boy. Shh."

I focus on the nearby sounds — Someone's car engine idling, boots scraping against tarmac, hushed voices. People. It's people.

As Dad pulls back behind the wall, Glenn asks him, "How many?"

"I count three," He exhales, glancing down at me for a moment, before shaking his head. "We gotta go."

"Okay. Come on." Glenn gently tugs me by the hand, pulling me along with him in the direction we came. "It's okay."

"C'mon, chicken," Dad encourages.

We stick close to the wall, Dad scanning the back parking lot with a slow sweep of his sights, before giving us a nod, letting us know the way is clear and leading us down onto the tarmac. Everything opens up. My gaze darts from the dumpsters pressed up against the chain-link fence, to the trash littered across the ground, to the distant trees, the sky, the back of my Dad's head, Mouse at his heel. 

Dad takes one step back over the broken curb, his boot hitting the grass on the other side.

My fingers tighten around Glenn's as I lift my foot to do the same.

I'm taking a sigh of relief — The forest is right there. We can slip away — but the breath in my lungs is stolen from me. I stumble backwards into Glenn. A man shoots out from behind a rusted car, tackling my Dad, and a gasp escapes me, loud and sharp.

"Daddy!" I shriek, watching him tank the sudden impact with a grunt.

"Boys!" The man shouts over his shoulder. "Over here!"

Squeezing my hand, Glenn draws his gun, acting unsure if he should run with me or stay and fight. "Daryl?"

"Stay with Harley!" He orders.

We watch as Dad shoves the man off him in one powerful movement, sending his stocky body tumbling.

The man lands against the car door. The window cracks under his elbow, glass shattering, tinkling, falling at his feet. He groans like an animal, blood trickling down his forearm as he rears it back again, knife in his hand, about to stab Dad wherever he can.

Dad's crossbow comes down on the man's arm and the knife goes flying, clattering loudly across the parking lot.

"Fuck—" He cries, disarmed, before Dad takes a step back and — FWIP — unleashes a bolt into his face.

The man's legs give out, body slumping to the ground.

"What's going on back here?!" A voice shouts, footsteps approaching. "Eric?"

Glenn whips his gun around, shoving me behind him so fast; I only catch a glimpse of the — two? — men pouring into the parking lot before I'm pressing my face into the back of his shirt, squeezing his hand so tight I think I might break a few of his bones.

"Holy shit," One of the men exclaims as their footsteps come to a stop in front of us. "Eric! God, he's dead!"

"You'll be dead, too, if ya don't back the Hell up!" Dad barks at them, taking a step forward. "Back up!"

"You fucking killed him!"

"He attacked us first!" Glenn counters. "Put the guns down!"

"Oh, my God!"

"Who's that behind you?"

"Hey! You keep yer eyes on us and put'cher fuckin' guns down!"

The arguing, shouting, — Mouse's relentless barking — gets louder and louder with each second, ruminating into one big cloud of noise around me as I squeeze my eyes shut. I only wanted to help them scavenge some baby formula, enjoy the sun and the breeze, maybe win at eye-spy. Home is only a ten-minute walk from here. No, no, it wasn't supposed to go like this. It's never gone like this.

"Put that goddamn crossbow down!"

"I ain't doin' shit!"

"Everybody, shut up!"

The parking lot falls silent. I hear the footsteps of a third man approaching, slow and calm, like an angry teacher.

"They killed Eric," One of them exclaims. "We heard him shout for us."

"And this piece of shit here killed him. I saw it."

The footsteps slow to a stop, and no response comes. I wait for a gunshot or a punch to be thrown, but that doesn't come, neither.

After the pause has gone on too long, the man hesitates to ask, "Boss, what's wrong? Are we killing 'em, or not?"

"I said, shut up, Gavin."

Oh.

That voice.

Mer—?

No.

Merle is dead.

Merle was chained to roof and eaten by walkers and he's dead and he's gone and I mourned him and ghosts ain't real.

My movements in slow motion, I loosen my grip on Glenn's hand, my body going numb as I dare to peek out around his hip. As the scene reveals itself to me, a curtain pulled over a window inch by inch, everything hits me like a ton of bricks, years, names, memories.

The man standing at the front of the small crowd stares, gawking, at my Dad, unbothered by his confused friends.

When he glances down at me, his arm pointing the gun at us falters.

Our eyes lock, and suddenly ghosts are real.

I can feel myself start to cry, I think.

Merle.

Author's Note.

It's Merle! Is there anything more to say? He's back!

I'm going to have my work cut out for me in the coming chapters. Trauma, emotions. Here we come.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, everyone. 💙

[joshslater]

Delayed Graduation

Repost of an old story that was previously flagged as too risqué for tumblr. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

- We might have a solution of sorts for you.

I barely registered principal Johnston talking. My world had been shattered, without warning. It all felt unreal, and most of all unfair. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but there were no witnesses, just my word against hers. She wouldn’t press charges, Johnston had explained. I was almost demanding that she did, so I could clear my name, but thought better of it. If it went to trial all outcomes would be bad, to varying degrees. This way I would just be expelled. I guess I could use the term “drop out” to soften it further. It’s not like the job market is stellar even if you have a degree, but this would firmly pigeon hole me as manual labor.

- What? - I said we might have an arrangement that could interest you.

He pulled out a stack of papers from his manila folder and placed them in front of me, and continued.

- We have a little trial project we would like to push ahead with, to see what the full potential is. Coach Andrews would personally take charge of your training to see how far he can take you in a year. Similar to what he managed to do for Shane O’Brian. Since you will be heavily supervised, fully scheduled and not share any classes with your former class mates, she has agreed to allow you complete your studies under these conditions. It’s not that many months until she graduates anyway. Your graduation obviously will have to wait until next year.

Shane of course was the star of the basket team. He was two years below me, so I didn’t know him, but I heard he had basically never touched a ball before he met coach. He must have been active in something else though, with that body. The girls were swooning like crazy. Some of the boys too, as rumor had it.

- Sir, I’m really grateful for this opportunity, but I’m not really made for sports. Just look at me. Tall and thin. Not much track and field around here. - We are not asking for any miracles. Just follow all instructions given and do your best. That’s all we’re asking.

I started to flip through the papers. I was bored just looking at the page numbers.

- Should I bring this home to my parents? - This is a bit time sensitive, so I’d prefer if you make your decision already today. You’re 18. You get to decide this on your own. Why don’t I leave you for a bit? You can have a read through, and then decide what you want to do.

As he left the room I started to go read through the contract properly. Why do they make things so complicated? The contract really just said that I assumed responsibility for the “infraction”, but the school would not disclose it to anyone unless the contract was breached. I would agree to participate in the athletic education study for one year. In return the school would allow me to graduate next year. But written over 26 pages.

I didn’t feel like I had many options. Initials on every page and signature on the last. Then repeated on the second copy of the contract. I was about to leave and find principal Johnston when he returned, followed by coach Andrews.

- Have you made up your mind, or would you like Mr. Andrews to explain it in more detail. - I’ve already signed the papers. - Oh, well then. I’m so happy we could work something out.

Coach Andrews opened the gym bag he was carrying and pulled out a blue singlet and ear guards, and held them for me to take.

- Let’s try this on right away. - Now? Here?

Johnston opened a door to a side room of his office.

- You can change in the conference room here. - But wrestling?! Have you seen me? - As I said, follow all instructions and do your best is all we ask.

It was the first time I even held a singlet in my hands. I’ve never even thought of how to put one on. It wasn’t hard, just step in them like some shorts and then pull the straps over your shoulders, but I never imagined doing it.

I looked ridiculous. I guess size isn’t as important when the fabric is stretchy, but this sure wasn’t my size. The taut straps pulled the fabric in the groin, while at the same time my thin legs didn’t fill out the legs of the singlet. What a mess. I walked back into the office, naked apart from this one single piece of clothing.

- Should I put on the ear guards as well. - No, that isn’t necessary. Here.

Coach opened a small, brown, glass bottle and poured its contents into a white plastic cup from the water cooler, and handed it to me.

- This is the time sensitive part. Drink up.

This day was going from horrendously bad to confusing to weird. I emptied the cup. The liquid tasted like cough syrup. Sickly sweet and with bitter herbs.

- What is.. *cough* *cough* - Here. Take a seat.

It felt like drinking really hot cocoa when you are frozen. It kind of spreads from the chest to the rest of the body. All of me was getting warm, and an uncomfortable feeling or pressure. Everything was off, like I was drunk, or high or something. It was over in a minute, though it is quite possible my mind was playing tricks and it really was longer than that.

- Stand up against the wall, so I can take a photo.

Bewildered, and with unsteady steps, I did as told. He snapped a few pictures with his phone, and then showed me one.

- Don’t tell me this isn’t a great starting point.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was definitely me in the photo, but it was like the aspect ratio was wrong. I must be several inches shorter, but everything, arms, legs, chest, shoulders, neck, was wider. Even my face was altered, if ever so slightly. Where just minutes before, or whatever, I was a lanky gamer, I now was a hunk of muscle.

- How is this... - Don’t worry about the details. We must work quickly now while you are fresh, to get the wrestling technique right. Meet me in my office tomorrow at 7 am.

With that he slapped me on the shoulder and left. Just as he was about to exit the office, he pulled out a pair of shoes from the bag and placed them at a table.

- Oh, I almost forgot these. Your new size. See you tomorrow!

My head was spinning. What had just happened to me, to my body? Starting point? Principal Johnston had his distinct “anything else?” look.

- What about my studies?

My voice was lower than before, I think.

- You’ll be placed in the athlete’s reduced curriculum class. We just need to retest your proficiency levels first. - Why? I don’t understand. - My point exactly.

He didn’t make any sense. I felt tired, slow and almost dizzy trying to understand him.

- What about this body? What happens when I graduate? - You graduate with the body you have, like everyone else. It’s not like we can change it by magic or anything.

He smiled and chuckled to himself.

- Take your old clothes with you as you leave. Something might still fit.

Nothing did.

[rickmymanrick]

one rule | chapter eight

[rick grimes x original fem character slowburn]

series masterlist! prev. chapter • next chapter

summary: in a rush to deescalate what they presumed was merle's fury on camp, daphne and the crew arrive to something terrifyingly different.

notes: my apologies for the overall slow pacing of the story. i promise it's gonna get exciting after we wrap up the first season. and also sorry for the rushing at the end there's not much i can change about the CDC without fucking up the whole storyline after so i'm just trying to get through it fast.

Screams echoed from the rock quarry and every step we took felt like two steps back.

Maybe it was our desperation to get there but it felt like the journey only got longer and longer. I gripped my knife tightly, pistol locked and loaded in my right hand. I led the group through the darkness, my speed being the fastest, but Rick was right on my heels.

"SHANE!" I yelled as soon as we made it over the big hill where we would've parked the truck. Had Merle not stolen it.

What I saw was the opposite of what I thought it was gonna be.

Instead of Merle taking vengeance on the camp, it was a herd of walkers. Biting into members of the group, tearing chunks of flesh clean off the bone as they screamed. Gunshots were flying from every angle.

I spotted Dale with his rifle firing rounds. I rushed over, dodging walkers as they reached out at any living thing.

"Dale! Where's Shane?!" I hollered, shooting off rounds of my own.

The camp was a complete mess, guts and blood all over our sacred place.

"He was with Lori and Carl last I saw 'em," he said over the blasts of his rifle. "By his tent."

I rushed out a 'thank you' before fighting my way to his side of camp, glancing around to make sure Glenn was okay. He stayed by Dale, shooting at every walker in radius.

A pair of hands suddenly grabbed onto my sleeves, roughly shaking me as a growl reached my ears. The smell of death penetrated my nostrils. Swinging my left hand back, my knife went straight into the walker's forehead. I looked back to make sure and then kicked the body away.

I marched forward, a gasp of relief leaving me as I finally spotted Shane. He had Lori and Carl behind him as he shot down countless walkers, a scowl etched on his face.

The scowl eased away as soon as his eyes found mine. His lips parted in shock. "DAPHNE!" He hollered, jerking his head.

I followed suit, sprinting over fallen walkers until I got to them.

"Morales!" Shane was yelling. "Work up here!"

"Get behind me! Come on!" Lori yelled at me, reaching her hand out so I could grip onto it. She hauled me over one of the dead walkers, bringing me next to her and Carl.

I immediately began shooting, wondering how the hell it had gone south so quick. We had the rest of the guns back in camp; there was enough weapons to defend the group against this attack. What the hell happened?

I had no time to think about it. All I could see in front of me were the walkers, stumbling with teeth bared, ready to bite into any one of us.

My arms began to ache the more I shot bullets but I couldn't let up. Beside me, Shane had his back against mine, covering all bases.

"Make your way to the winnebago!" Shane commanded. Carol came breaking through the dead, her daughter clutched against her side. Then Rick and the rest suddenly broke through to our side of camp, where the last of the walkers were attacking.

"CARL!" Rick hollered. "LORI!"

"DAD!" Carl broke free from his mother's grip, sprinting straight into Rick's arms, sobbing in terror.

I set my sights on the last walker standing, sending two bullets. One into its chest, the other into its head. I watched as two more bullets entered its forehead and looked beside me to see Shane lowering his own rifle.

As soon as everything died down, my arms dropped. And my legs suddenly felt weak. I stumbled despite my best efforts, my temples pounding. "Hey," Shane rushed over, grabbing my waist firmly. I tried to look at him but the world was spinning too fast.

"Goddamn concussion," I mumbled as I held back the urge to vomit. It seemed like the hours-long jog and the fight hit me like a truck.

"She got knocked in the temple earlier!" Glenn came running over, his face twisted in concern. I gave him a look, not willing to open my mouth in case I threw up everywhere.

Thankfully, he understood, grabbing my arms and pulling me away from Shane. Instantly, the bout of weakness took over and the world turned into pitch black darkness.

When I woke up, it had evidently been more than a few hours. It was daytime, the sun beating down on us harder than it had in a while.

I was covered in a thin layer of sweat, shielded by the security of mine and Glenn's tent. It was surprisingly spared from last night's attack. I pushed my body up as everything came rushing back to me, ready to run out of the tent.

"Hey—"

My hand found the knife that was still strapped to my side, swinging on impulse. I was frightened, traumatized from what I'd seen last night.

"Hey, you're okay!"

The voice registered in my head at once and I dropped the weapon like I'd gotten burnt. "I'm sorry," I gasped, trying to calm my racing heart.

"It's okay, Daph. It's okay." A hand grabbed my shoulder, giving me a gentle shake as our breathing filled the tent. I closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down and listening to all the outside noises.

Nothing but soft murmurs and birds chirping.

I cleared my throat. "How many did we lose?"

Silence was my only response and I dared to open my eyes, meeting Shane's downcast gaze.

"It's hard to tell."

"You're lying," I said instantly. Shane would be the first to know. We were both assumed leaders of our group.

"Ten or so... Amy..."

My head turned in shock. "Andrea?"

Shane shook his head. "Unresponsive."

I figured. There was no one in this entire world she cared about more than her little sister. We sat in silence, remembering Amy and all the others that fell last night. Except Ed.

I spared Shane a glance in my peripheral, trying to see if he was looking too affected. One look at his face and I was reminded of what had transpired yesterday morning.

I clenched my jaw in irritation, wondering whether I should confront him about his shifty behaviors. It was probably the worst time for this but I needed to know why he was still pursuing me so intensely if he had a thing going with Lori this whole time.

I refused to be anyone's side piece.

"We don't burn them!" I suddenly heard someone yell. Glenn. I scrambled to my feet and stepped over Shane, concussion be damned.

Outside there was a complete and utter mess. Walkers and our people scattered in dried pools of blood, random clumps of guts on the ground. My stomach twisted uncomfortably but I marched on, determined to figure out what had made Glenn uncharacteristically lash out.

"You reap what you sow!" Daryl called back at Glenn, helping Morales drag one of our dead to a separate pile they'd created for them.

"You know what?" Morales snapped. "Shut up, man."

"Y'all left my brother for dead! You had this coming!" Daryl spat, storming away.

I walked over to Glenn and he seemed disappointed to see me up and about. "I told Shane to make sure you got enough rest."

"I did. Now I want to help."

Glenn rolled his eyes at Daryl's back. "Pretty sure Daryl and Morales got it covered for now. You shouldn't be doing heavy lifting."

"A walker got him," said Jacqui loudly. We all turned to find her backing away from Jim, who was sweating profusely. His shirt was saturated with blood. "A walker bit him!"

"I'm okay," Jim insisted weakly as he backed away from the forming circle. We caged him in, each wondering what the hell we were gonna do now. Of course Shane, Glenn and I had talked about this type of situation before. But this was Jim. A survivor like us.

"Show it to us," demanded Daryl, approaching dangerously with an axe.

Jim startled, grabbing the nearest weapon in defense.

Shane came marching from my tent. "Easy, Jim."

"Grab him!"

"Put it down, Jim!"

"Grab him!"

We all began to yell over each other, one side trying to diffuse the situation, the other (Daryl) demanding to grab him. T-Dog took initiative, seizing Jim's arms from the back so Daryl could pull up his shirt.

"Jesus," I said under my breath. The teeth marks were as clear as day, a clean bite near the middle of his abdomen.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," repeated Jim nervously. He was clearly in denial and I felt horrible for him. There was no way around this-- he'd die a gruesome death and become a walker if we didn't put him down.

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," said Daryl as we stood around in an impromptu meeting. We'd directed Jim to sit away from the uninfected.

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane asked.

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it," Daryl sneered.

Dale shook his head. "I hate to say it-- I never thought I would-- but maybe Daryl's right."

I looked at him in surprise. Dale was the last person I would expect to agree with Dixon. Still, I stayed silent, trying to gather everyone's opinions before putting in my own.

"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog." Rick said.

"I'm not suggesting--"

"He's sick. A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?"

"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be."

I hate to admit it, but Daryl's got a point. I could see where Rick was coming from, but it was pretty damn clear to me that this world wasn't gonna get any better. It would only get worse from here and eventually, we'd have to get our hands dirty.

"I will admit, it feels inhumane to kill Jim but we aren't going to be able to keep him alive. That's a fact. Point, blank, period," I cut everyone off. "It simply isn't in our power. He's gonna die no matter what at the end of the day and keeping him around will guarantee that any number of us will too."

Daryl motioned to me gratefully, looking like he thought I was the only one with common sense.

"Well, what if we can get him help?" Rick turned to me first, focusing his full attention on me. I suddenly felt the heavy weight of leadership within seconds. Everyone looked to me and Rick.

"What?"

What the hell kind of help were we going to be able to get him?

"I heard the CDC was working on a cure."

"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell," interjected Shane.

"What if the CDC is still up and running?" Rick ignored Shane.

"Unlikely--" "Man, that is a stretch right there." Shane and I spoke at the same time. I gave him a side-eye, wondering how he had the nerve to even speak to Rick right now.

Rick seemed to have the same thoughts as me, giving Shane a hard glare before pointedly speaking to me again. "Why? If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection, food."

I waited for him to finish. Shane seemed to be on the verge of exploding next to me so I held a subtle hand up in his direction.

"If there was any government at all, don't you think we would've heard or seen something?" I wanted to be optimistic but it had been too long without a sign.

"You know there's a chance, Daphne," Rick bent lower to meet my eyes full-on. "I know you do. And if there's a possibility that we can stop this from happening again, don't you think we should try?"

I hated the way he was looking at me, as if he knew the exact way to get me to agree. Half of it was the words he was saying, the other half was the way the sun was hitting his pale blue eyes just right.

My lips parted as I struggled to find an argument.

On another hand, I did owe it to everyone I'd welcomed to camp to try. I left yesterday and this happened. It wasn't entirely my fault- I couldn't stop a herd of walkers by myself if I tried- and Shane had stayed behind but like it or not, the both of us started this thing together. We set up camp, we found other survivors, we invited them in.

In a way, this was on me.

I looked between Rick and Shane, who were both staring at me expectingly. Rick with that naive hope in his eyes; Shane with utter and complete disapproval, waiting for me to take his side.

I was trapped. I spluttered slightly, trying to figure out who to fucking choose—

Shane's face dropped in disappointment and disbelief, turning to his former partner instead. "Okay, Rick, you want those things, all right? We do, too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base, Fort Benning."

"That's a hundred miles in the opposite direction," noted Lori.

"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. If that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'll be safe there."

"We'd still have the same problem," I hissed quietly so Jim wouldn't hear. "Jim would still be sick and I know for a fact Fort Benning doesn't have the same medical capabilities as the CDC."

"You're agreeing with him?" Shane asked incredulously. He obviously didn't give a damn about airing out our drama in front of the whole group.

"Look, what you're saying makes perfect sense, Shane." I quickly tried to diffuse, grabbing onto his forearm without thinking it through. "But so does Rick. The CDC is the only chance this world has at beating this thing. What's happening to Jim and all these people, it's a disease. We'd be running in the opposite direction away from that."

"The military were on the front lines of this thing. They got overrun. We've all seen that," Rick argued with a glare finally directed at Shane. His eyes traveled between his former partner, my hand on his forearm, and me. I realized with a jolt that I was still hanging onto him and let go as if I'd been burnt. Rick's look alone reminded me of all the goddamn lies Shane fed me.

"The military's first response was to try to kill us. Was it not?" I added, glancing at Lori so I could avoid Shane's stare. I know she remembered the day I saved them well, how the army pointed their guns at her and her son. "What do you think they're gonna do when we try to roll up there with an infected person?"

"The CDC is our best choice and Jim's only chance." Rick finished as soon as I did and gave me a grateful nod. I don't even know how we ended up teaming against Shane but I could tell he felt ganged up on.

"You go grab that aspirin you brought," Daryl said to me suddenly. "Do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!" He hollered as he turned around and rushed toward Jim with the pickaxe aiming for his head.

"HEY!" I grabbed the shovel Jim had dropped and sprinted to stop Daryl. Rick pointed a gun at his head and clicked the safety off. Immediately, Daryl froze, weapon raised in the air. Jim heaved in terror, staring up at him like an animal prepped for slaughter.

"We don't kill the living." Rick said firmly. Shane wedged himself in front of Jim as Daryl slowly lowered the pickaxe and turned to eye Rick distastefully.

"That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head."

"We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down. Go on," insisted Shane. I could see Rick breathing heavily from my spot next to him, gun still pointed. Daryl threw the pickaxe down and stormed away.

Rick grabbed Jim and began to lead him away from camp so I followed. Shane lingered behind, keeping a suspicious eye on Andrea who was still hovering over Amy's corpse.

I watched as Rick sat Jim down far away. He joined me after, standing by the cars.

We stared at each other in silence.

I was the first one to break it. "You okay?"

His lip curled in frustration, glaring at the sun. He rested his hands on his hips and looked at the ground.

I wanted to ask if he had confronted Lori, but it truly wasn't any of my business. And the answer was pretty obvious.

"Thanks ...for backing me up," Rick changed the subject.

"You're right. The CDC is our best option. If they're not operational, then at least we'll know."

"Yeah, while putting the rest of the group in danger."

What kind of hypocritical back and forth was this?

"We owe it to everyone to try. Especially Jim. Look, Shane's plan would've probably gotten us all killed. You didn't get to see it but when this whole thing started, the military pointed their guns at us first. The living. If the base is operational, there's no way we would've made it past the front gates alive." When did I start defending this plan? "Besides, if it all goes sideways, we'll have our getaway car and more than enough weapons to protect the kids."

Rick gave me a sideways smile, looking a lot less tense. "You're right. He just got me overthinking."

"Well, it's always good to run your ideas by others."

Rick stared at me for a long moment and I started to feel like a bug under a magnifying glass. "What?"

"Nothin', this just suits you."

I snorted. "What does? Putting Shane in his place?"

"Being a leader." He clarified.

"Yeah? Well, I didn't choose to be," I sighed, looking back at the state of our group. Half dead and the other half mingling about, no doubt discussing our two options.

Rick smiled tightly and clasped a hand over my shoulder as he walked past me, heading straight over to Carl. His little face lit up as he noticed his father, cheeks chewing on the multivitamin gummy Carol had handed out to each of the children.

I swallowed thickly. Whether the group agreed or not, we had no other option but the CDC or wandering from one place to the next. Fort Benning just couldn't happen.

Mostly everyone agreed that heading to Atlanta was the way to go. Only Morales and his family had opted out, taking one of the cars and a pistol and heading their separate way.

On the journey, we'd ended up dropping Jim off by the edge of the woods after hours of him pleading and begging.

It wasn't easy. In fact, it was one of the hardest things we'd ever had to do, but it was for the best. Jim knew he wouldn't survive the trip to Atlanta and he thankfully warned us of such. The last thing we needed was for him to die and reanimate on the road.

After, we weren't exactly sure whether we should've kept heading in the same direction but Lori brought up a good point. We were already more than half way there. It would be a waste of gas to turn around now.

We had to cling onto the little hope that ahead of us waited our salvation.

But of course, the world played us for fools.

We found the CDC in the same state as everything else. Deprecated and destroyed, crawling with flies and maggots. The dead scattered by the hundreds and thankfully at the very least, completely dead.

But when the reanimated ones did start showing up, probably from Shane and Rick having a rather loud go, I wasn't sure what would kill us first— the smell or the walkers.

"Shut up! Shut up, you're attracting more of them!" I pleaded as quietly as I could, grabbing a pistol from my belt and holding it anxiously.

Some of the others had began running back to the cars but Lori and I were incessantly pleading with the two men to just give up and run before it was too late.

I could understand Rick's desperation. His family was here, his wife and his boy were counting on him to keep them safe and he'd led them to a dead end. But if he didn't stop screaming at the broken surveillance camera, he would get us all killed.

"Rick, please!" I gripped his arm, trying to pull him away but Shane pushed me back, trying to tackle Rick angrily.

"If you don't let us in, you're killing us, you hear me?!" Rick continued. "YOU'RE KILLING US!"

Shane finally got a good grip on Rick's shirt and began to drag him away forcefully.

"YOU'RE KILLING US!" He kept repeating.

I backed away from the CDC with my heart in my throat, a sense of impending doom as I realized this was it.

Just as we finally turned around, as Rick yelled out in frustration once more, as the numerous walkers began to appear—

A miracle happened.

I could've fallen to my knees if it wasn't for Shane grabbing onto me in shock. Glenn ran to my side, snatching his red hat off and staring at the shutters as they opened and blinded us immediately.

Inside— our salvation.

I wasted no time, grabbing onto Carl and Lori and dragging us into the building with Glenn.

There was a chorus of voices as we all rushed in but my attention was stolen by the stranger who stood pointing a rifle at us. I found it hard to believe a doctor would be handling a gun within this fortress.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked loudly, causing everyone to fall silent.

The man stared at us in disbelief.

Feeling my heart plummet, I shared a weary glance with Glenn. This can't be good.

taglist:

@lovelyygirl8 @aleemendoza2425-blog @catlalice @ho3forchr1sevans

[clinicsharmartia]

DISCLAIMERS BEFORE YOU PROCEED!

This is a DELAYED character review. I know what’s going to happen to them in s2. I’m saying this as to say that I’m fully aware of the dramatic irony of some of these character reviews 😭 also this is a transcript from an audio I sent to my friends when I actually finished S1 so I’m sorry if some bits don’t make sense. I’ve edited a bit but not entirely.

TWD CHARACTER REVIEWS - SEASON 1

Rick Grimes: 10/10. He is an amazing person, he’s an even more amazing father. He's selfless, kind, gentle, understanding, caring, protective, loving, brave and so much more. The relationship that he has with people around him is so nice to watch. Him owning up to things immediately without knowing how people react is such a nice characteristic about him that I really hope he doesn't lose. He’s just— ugh I love him. I can’t wait to see how his character progresses and how his relationships change.

Lori Grimes: 9/10. She's an amazing mother. She's an amazing wife. She is a good person who is trying her best. So many people hate on Lori Grimes because she ‘cheated’ with Shane. He was a rebound. If I was in her situation I would do the same. You get told that your husband is dead during the apocalypse, which means he’s DEAD, never coming back, and you’re forced to live in the woods with your only son who only looking up to you in this moment. It is such a devastating situation to be in. You’re mourning and grieving while trying to keep your only son safe in this horrible horrible world and the next best thing to your husband, the closest thing your him, walks up to you to give you comfort, protection and security. Of course she would turn to him. Of course she would sleep with him. I would do the same thing. And the guilt on her face, you know she regrets it so much. She's so kind and sweet and protective. I know it's not gonna be for very long unfortunately but from what we have with Lori Grimes I cannot wait to see her progression in the show a character, as a mother, and as a wife.

Carl Grimes: 10/10. I'm pretty sure I teared up a bit when I first saw him on screen because he's just so little he's just a baby it's just a little baby boy he is so small. My maternal instincts kicked in fucking immediately when I saw him on screen. He's just a little kid and this is what I love about Carl Grimes. He is accurate representation of what happens of what would happen if you put a child in the apocalypse and then them having to go through puberty during the apocalypse. I am so fucking excited to see his character progression. I cannot wait for him to be sassy. I love him mwah.

Shane Walsh: -10/10. I know we need characters like him in these types of media, and I know that he was an important part of the plot, and I KNOW that he is a well written character, but I hate him so much. The only time I want him on screen is when he’s dying. The only time I want to see him open is mouth is when he’s screaming in agony. I hate him. Disgusting filth.

Daryl Dixon: 8/10. He's a very very funny character with a lot of baggage but he’s so loving and caring, just in his own ways. You can really tell that he wants to protect everyone there and that his act is just an act because he can’t admit to loving anyone. He’s a complex character and I like it a lot. Also, the way that people treat him in this season is so horrible. You come back after hunting for the group of people that you have decided you were going to look after and you see this guy rock up and he says “yeah your brother? yeah I left him for dead after I locked him up to a metal pipe on the top of a roof in the sweltering heat surrounded by zombies LOL. I'm Rick Grimes by the way” and people get upset with him getting angry at that? Then, people are saying you shouldn’t go and find him because no one likes him. And then you go after him anyways BECAUSE HES YOUR BROTHER and you find his SEVERED HAND instead. And then you come back and your camp gets attacked by walkers and one of your camp mates get bit, and when you say you should kill him to prevent any pain or suffering, people call you crazy and weird. WTF! Wtaf. Daryl is getting so much hate from them like what. Anyways I love Daryl, I can’t wait to see how his character develops and how his relationships change, and how he adapts to the new environments and people (because we all know what he’s like).

Glenn Rhee: 9/10. Glenn is an amazing guy. He's funny, a bit stupid and has some great lines as well. He's very smart, very valuable and his humanity and compassion is what really makes me love him. He saw a random stranger surrounded by zombies and instead of doing what he was supposed to do he took time out of his mission time out of that situation to save him. What could've very much gotten him killed to help the stranger. And then the stranger comes back and makes him do something that he really doesn't want to do (covering yourself in blood and guts and gore and walking through a street of zombies which could very much kill you in a second is not something he wants to do) but he does it anyways because he does it for the people that he cares about. Then he comes back to camp and the whole ambush happens and they're about to burn one of the camp members bodies and he yells at them and he says “we don't burn our people we bury them”. That line made me so so emotional and it means so much to me that they added that in because it is such an emotional and beautiful line for me. It honestly really highlights him as a character and the humanity and compassion he carries even after everything. I really loved him again. I can't wait to see his character progression, I can't wait to see how his relationships progress as well and how his skills are able to be used in the long run.

Dale: 8/10. I really love him. He’s a great guy doing his very best to try and teach and help the group. He is the word of wisdom, he is the one you look to for guidance. I absolutely adore him. Although, dragging Andrea out of suicide was not great, didn’t like that. Can’t wait to see how he’ll help the group in the future.

Andrea: 6/10. She is a little bit annoying, but she seems quite smart. I don't like how she treats certain people though. Like, I can't explain it but the way she goes about some things just urk me really bad. I think she has a lot of room for improvement, but right now she's okay. I want to see what she can bring to the table though.

Carol: 9/10. BAD ASS BITCH. She is amazing and funny and trying her best. I cannot wait to see her healing process and how her relationships change and how her skills develop. I love her.

T-DOG: 7/10. He's cool, I like him a lot. You can tell that he's trying his best and he has a nice voice. I think he can do a lot of good for the group in the later seasons as we can see that he's already helped quite a bit. Also, his loving and caring nature is really nice to see. Merle called him a racial slur and threatened to hurt him and still he went back to chain the door shut so he could have a chance to survive. He's super cool.

[miu-senpaii]

Shane's One True Love-(Shane x Reader) Oneshot

Synopsis: Shane calls for a divorce after you insult his chicken

Notes: Totally not satire (because I 100% see Shane doing this), features cursing and mommy and daddy fighting 😔

When you walk in sweaty from a long day of working your ass off on the farm, you are greeted by the sight of your husband cuddled up on the couch with his chicken Charlie while munching on pizza rolls. I feel a pang of jealousy in your heart towards his feathered friend at being able to live your dream of snuggling up in Shane's beefy, warm arms every day. Meanwhile, you're outside getting your butt scorched by the sun with sweat uncomfortably dripping into your asscrack. Talk about unfair.

You suddenly feel the urge to ask your husband him a very life-changing question, so you walked over and sat next to him on the couch.

"Shane, would you still love me if I were a chicken?" you asked with wide, innocent eyes.

Shane slowly turns to face you with a puzzled expression, and you swear you see the chicken side-eye you.

"Aww, of course," he coos, "I would feed you the best corn every day and cuddle you just like I'm doing with Charlie."

However, you have yet to be satisfied with his answer. There has been one question you've been hesitant to ask all these years in your marriage. You trail your eyes down to the chicken in his arms. Its beady eyes stare into your soul, taunting you with the fact that you could never compete with it no matter how hard you tried. It was the one that owned Shane's heart, held him by a leash, getting your husband to heed to its every cluck.

Your hands ball into fists, and your body tremors as you ask the big question, "Shane...do you love me more than Charlie?"

Your husband instantly freezes. His eyes nervously dart around the room, looking everywhere except into your firey orbs. Cold sweat drips down his face as the seconds pass, and the tension thickens.

Finally, Shane breaks the silence with an awkward chuckle, "Haha, that's a silly question...how could I compare two things that are so different?"

You let out a warning growl through clenched teeth, "Don't play with me, Shane. Answer. The. Question."

Shane sighs, "Well, Charlie is cute, cuddly, playful, loving, amazing, extraordinary, and you are...well, you."

You leap from the couch, seething in anger as you shout, "Are you kidding me?! I work my ass off all day long to support you! What does Charlie do?! All that little shit does his poop and eat, and he gets pampered by you! How could you love a fucking bird more than me?!"

Shane looked up in a rage, pressing both hands to the sides of Charlie's tiny head, presumably to cover his ears, "Blasphemy! Charlie's mere existence is a gift from Yoba! Just looking at him fills my heart with warmth like the springtime sun! Every feather on his body, every claw is carved to perfection by the greatest sculptor! He moves with grace, each step with his tiny talons puts runway models to shame! Even his poop is shaped like perfectly round pellets resembling the heavenly spheres in the early Greek models of the universe!"

Your jaw drops, momentarily stunned at how your husband suddenly transformed into Elliot with the words that spilled out of his mouth.

Shane's chest heaves up and down as he faces you with narrowed eyes.

"You've gone too far," he pauses before uttering the words that shatter your world, "I'm getting a fucking divorce."

You stop breathing. The entire room feels like it's spinning as you barely register Shane picking up Charlie and pushing past you toward the door. You call out to him before he leaves, "Wait! Are you really throwing all of this away? Just because of this?!"

Shane turns his head to give you one last glance with those same icy, emotionless eyes you saw when you first met him. "I know how you feel now. You insulted my chickens, my blood, my life. I'll manage on my own without you, but I can't without my chickens."

The last thing you hear is the slam of the door and Charlie's happy cluck. You're left standing alone in your home, which is now eerily silent. You feel wetness run down your cheeks as you watch Shane's retreating figure, walking in the direction of the Mayor's Manor. At that moment, your heart aches, not just because of the divorce but because you knew...

Shane loved his chickens more than he had and could ever love you.

[shanesboyfriend]

The Flower Dance (Shane x Reader)

haha first post and its already very self indulgent. anyways, this is based on how i've always danced with shane at the flower dance, since i basically shower him in gifts!! hope you enjoy!

Shane x male!Reader (he/him)

Summary: Obviously you wanted to dance with him. Without a doubt. But you knew he had issues with trust. If you asked him to dance though, he might be upset. Might think your request was a way of you making fun of him or he might take it the wrong way. If he wasn't interested romantically in you, he might close himself off again. There were a lot of ways this could go wrong...

Moving into the Valley was, so far, the best decision you'd ever made.

The Spring had been peaceful and, while you were still finding your footing with this whole farming thing, you'd been doing pretty well! You'd already grown a decent amount of parsnips and the new potatoes and cauliflowers were growing perfectly. Currently you were saving up for some green beans. Though you weren't exactly thinking that hard about that right now.

Right now, you were looking yourself over in a full body mirror, frowning slightly at the blue suit, embroidered with faint, lighter blue floral patterns. "I dunno, Haley," you hummed with a squinted your eyes at yourself, turning to see yourself from the side. "Isn't it a bit..."

"Tacky?" The blonde girl giggled from where she sat on her own bed. Her sister, Emily, had been kind enough to make you an outfit for the Flower Dance this year though you were questioning if the suits were really supposed to be this... uncomfortable. "Yeah," Haley sighed wistfully. "Mayor Lewis loves tradition though. Em's offered to give the outfits an upgrade but he's always refused." She pulled the edge of her skirt down slightly, the soft white fabric looking pretty on her.

Were you not gay, she would undoubtedly been the girl of your dreams.

"At least your dresses are pretty," you pointed out with a pout. "You guys have more stylistic freedom." The men had to wear blue suits with white button up shirts while the girls could wear any white dress so long as the skirt was knee-length.

Haley shrugged with a smirk. "Wear a dress next year then." You paused at her suggestion. The idea tempted you honestly...

Emily knocked on the door quickly. "You guys ready? I don't want us to be late."

"Coming, Em." Haley rolled her eyes almost dramatically. As you got closer to the sisters, they would often comment to you how 'weird' it was that they were sisters, like they were so different they couldn't possibly be related. But then they'd immediately do something so sister-like it floored you.

But hey, what did you know?

The walk to the fields wasn't too long nor was it as bad as you thought it would be in dress clothes. Haley complained a bit about how she didn't want grass stains on her shoes and Emily pointed out how they'd be dancing in a field so it didn't matter.

"Soooo... what's the point of this dance?" You asked as the three of you neared the clearing. You'd understood the point of the Egg Festival and the egg hunt had been fun, but this festival was unknown to you. There'd been nothing like this in the city.

Emily made a little happy sound, twirling a bit as she walked. "Something about fertility rituals." You immediately paled and she just laughed good-naturedly. "The meaning has changed over the years, don't worry!" Emily did another twirl with a reassuring smile. "Nowadays, the dance is just something couples or close friends do together..." She seemed wistful as she stared out at the open field "Dancing is how I feel connected to the world around me." Emily said, almost a dreamy tone to her voice. "I've never bought into the idea of self. It's more sensible to me that we are all ripples in the universe... So dancing makes me feel like I'm apart of the universe, a ripple of my own."

You and Haley shared a look as her sister adjusted the red flower in her blue hair. "She's weird," Haley whispered as Emily made her way into the clearing and out of earshot. "I never understand how her mind works..." Haley sighed with a shake of her head, the flower crown on her head rustling..

Shrugging, you just followed after Haley as she led the way towards Alex. "She's nice though. Could be worse."

Haley gave you a look. "Like that'd stop you." She teased, making you blush.

Her comment wasn't untrue, you thought to yourself as your eyes drifted across the field and landed on a very particular man. One you had, despite his best interest, whittled down enough to be considered a friend. Buying him drinks had certainly earned you favor but the pizza you'd bought him for his birthday had sealed the deal.

You were friends with Shane. Regardless of how hard he'd tried to be mean to you, he'd softened with you. You'd shared a drink with him by the lake and listened to his troubles, his drunken ramblings. At one point, a few days ago, he'd asked if he'd ever gotten sentimental when drunk. You'd lied and said no and he'd told you that, should he ever get that way, to forget whatever he said.

He had issues with intimacy and trust. You had issues with a need to be useful and you did things without really thinking or planning. But hey, it'd landed you here, so maybe it wasn't all bad.

When you had told Haley about your budding friendship with Shane a few days ago, she hadn't even pretended to be surprised. "You befriended me before anyone else," she had said as she painted your nails, "Clearly you have a 'type' of person you like."

You'd chosen to not think about it too much.

"Sooo... you gonna ask him to dance with you?" Present day Haley asked, hands resting on her hips.

Staring at Haley, a few thoughts crossed your mind. First one was that you were never confiding secrets in Haley again. Second was a worry that you were obvious in your feelings for him.

You glanced quickly across the field at Shane, dressed in a plain blue blazer and matching dress pants, the white shirt unbuttoned just a bit at the top and he'd clearly abstained from wearing a tie. He seemed to be conversing with Alex, likely about the recent gridball game. They liked the same team, as far as you knew. Shane seemed so enthralled in the conversation he didn't even notice you staring.

"I have no idea what you mean." You said to Haley with undeserved confidence.

She leveled you with an unimpressed look. "Uh huh. Sure babe. Look, Shane's never been asked to dance by anyone in this town that, like, actually wanted to dance with him specifically. He and Emmy only dance together 'cuz it's mutually beneficial." Haley smirked at you. "He'd probably be reeeeal happy if you asked him. Since you like him and all."

You paused at that, feeling a pang in your heart as you blushed. As Haley walked off to go practice her dance moves, you mulled over her words. You knew Shane hadn't grown up in the valley and, up until a few years ago, he'd never needed to participate in the dance.

So the idea that Shane had never danced with someone who liked him made you feel weird. Not pitiful but something close.

Obviously you wanted to dance with him. Without a doubt. But you knew he had issues with trust. If you asked him to dance though, he might be upset. Might think your request was a way of you making fun of him or he might take it the wrong way. If he wasn't interested romantically in you, he might close himself off again. There were a lot of ways this could go wrong...

You felt yourself zone out. A lot of your thoughts surrounding Shane and what you were going to do. You were so entranced that you didn't even see the little figure approaching you until she tugged on your arm. "Oh!" You exclaimed, looking down at Jas. "Hey sweetheart. You need something?"

Since moving to the town, you'd become familiar with a lot of the townspeople. Jas included. You brought her daffodils almost every morning and chatted with her when you saw her. She was a sweet girl, very mature and observant for her age. Marnie had talked a little bit about her parents being gone, that her mom had been Marnie's niece and Shane's sister. That her death had been devastating.

Jas was acutely aware of her parent's existences. She'd been barely two when they'd died but talking about them upset her immensely.

"Are you going to ask Uncle Shane to dance?" Jas asked innocently, a too-knowing look behind her eyes.

You felt your face heat up, looking away nervously. "Ah, um, well, I... I dunno if he'd want to dance with me. I'm sure he'd rather dance with Emily..."

Jas looked up at you and giggled, almost like you'd said something ridiculous. "He talks about you a lot! I hear him sometimes in the barn talking to Charlie. He really, really likes you." She smiled, taking your hand in hers. "C'mon! I'll help ya!"

"J-Jas- No it's okay! You don't have to-" You stuttered as the girl pulled you across the field. Secretly, though, you let her lead you. A deep part of you wanted Shane to dance with you and Jas could be a good buffer if he said no. Even if he did reject you, he may be softer about it with Jas present...

At least you wouldn't be stewing over 'what-ifs'...

"Uncle Shane!" Jas called, practically skipping over.

Shane's head snapped over immediately, his eyes on her before he looked at you. It made your stomach do flips and made your face heat up. As much as he believed he had fucked up with Jas, he clearly adored her and she adored him in turn. He wasn't perfect, far from it, but you knew he cared.

The thought he'd make a good dad was quickly stamped out before it could blossom.

"What's up squirt?" Shane asked, making his way over. Alex had walked off to go see Haley so it was just the three of you. At least that'd lessen your embarrassment if he rejected you.

Jas said nothing, just reached over and took his hand in hers. Before Shane could ask her what was up, she pressed your hands together, your fingers tangling with Shane's. His hands were warm...

The older man blinked down at his goddaughter, a flush creeping up his neck. "Uhhh... Jas? What's, uh-"

"The farmer wants to dance with you!" She beamed, looking proud of herself and her matchmaking skills. "Have fun!" Jas said before skipping off to find Vincent.

Shane let go of your hand quickly and chuckled nervously. "Uh, sorry about her. She's- that's new from her."

You swayed a bit on your feet, feigning ignorance. "Yeah, I, um, I dunno what that was..." Swallowing, you decided to take a leap. "But, um, if you wanted to dance with me... I- I want to dance with you." You let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

Shane stared at you like you'd grown two heads. "You... want to dance with me?" He asked incredulously. "I thought you'd be dancin' with Haley?"

Now it was your turn to stare. "What? No, I- Why would I be dancing with Haley?"

"Dude, you follow her around like a lost puppy." Shane smirked, giving you a look. "Figured you'd be with her."

You blushed a bit and gave him a shrug. "Well, I like you. I'd rather dance with you."

...Fuck, wait, shit!

Shane stared at you, gaze softening slowly. "You're serious?" His voice was soft. As if you were going to pull out the rug from underneath him. Make fun of him.

You nodded quickly, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. "I want to dance with you."

Shane let out a soft huff, smiling down at his shoes. "Yeah. Alright. Since it's you." You swore he was blushing as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Um. See you then?"

Feeling lightheaded, you nodded. You knew you were smiling dumbly as Shane walked away. You turned to watch him go and you wondered if he was just as nervous about the whole thing as you were.

[scarisd3ad]

To the end and back [daryl Dixon x reader]

Chapter six - I’ve still got love for you

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Taglist

Summary - after the world ended you were sure you’d never find love again but a certain archer catches your eyes and changes the entire trajectory of your life.

Season two!!

Warnings - mentions of rape and sa, mentions of religion and religious trauma.

'What lies ahead'

Season 2 ep 1

Day 65

We're going to fort benning. Atlanta is done for, it's lost to the walkers. We're hoping it'll be better there. We've decided to reduce the amount of cars we're talking something about saving gas. So we're leaving Daryl's truck, and Shane’s car. Daryl is taking his motorbike (well actually it’s Merle’s), so that means I'm back in the car with Rick, Lori, Carl, Sophia, and Carol.

I pull Daryl aside before we leave for fort benning. I make sure we're out of sight before I begin to talk. "Be careful" I whisper as I grab his hand. "I will" he replies. He knew the risks of driving the motorcycle, no walls, if we come across a horde of walkers he could easily get bitten, and then there's the regular risks of riding a motorcycle. I caress the top of his hand as I stare up at him. "Be careful" I repeat a bit more sternly. He nods "I will sunshine" he says which makes me smile. He presses his lips to mine swiftly before running off.

-

We're on the road now. The car is mostly quiet, except for Sophia, carls quiet whispers at times. "Just thinking about our trip to the Grand Canyon with Carl." Lori says turning her head towards Rick. Rick let's out a laugh as he remembers fond memories of the trip. "I don't remember that." Carl says with furrowed brows.

"No, you wouldn't. You were just a baby. Besides, we never made it past Fort Worth" Lori explains to her son. "No, you got sick. I never knew a baby could throw up so much" rick laughs. I can imagine a baby Carl, and a younger lori, and Rick. Sometimes I wonder about the others lives before this. I knew a bunch about Glenn's, but I never really asked about the others. I assumed it might be a sore subject.

"Ick" Carl mutters which makes both his parents laugh. "Yeah, ick" Lori agrees. "But the doctors in Texas said you'd live. Then we turned around, and drove home." Lori explains. Carls face scrunches up as he says "well that sucks." Lori shakes her head a bit "no, it was a good trip."

"The best" Rick agrees. "Can we go see it? The grand canyon? I'd like too" Carl asks. "I would too" Sophia says. "Can we go?" Sophia asks. Lori turns her head so she could see into the back. "We'd never go without you and your mom. That's a promise." Lori reaches her hand back and grabs carols hand as Sophia leans her head on her mom's shoulder. "Would you go with us?" Carl asks as he turns to me. I smile "we'd never go without y/n either" Lori says. I'd grow close with Lori, and her son over the months following the outbreak. I liked having an almost little brother well that's what I consider Carl. I'd watch him a lot while his mom, and Shane would go out, I played games with him and the other kids too. I liked being close to people, being able to build a bond, a relationship with new people was always something I cared about. I didn't want to have no one if I was ever in trouble, I always wanted someone to lean on in times of need.

The rv comes to a stop which in turn makes all of us stop. What we can see is there's a bunch of cars in the way. It's good and bad news. The good is we can scavenge the cars for cool things, and theres a lot of gas too. The bad thing is there could be walkers hiding in any one of them. We follow the rv, as Dale tries to find a way through the large 16 wheeler, that was laid out on its side in the middle of the street.

We find our way around it, but just end up even more stuck. There are so many cars. Then the rv comes to an abrupt stop the engine sputtering.

We all get out of the cars, and gather around the rv. "I said it. Didn't I say it? A thousand times. Dead in the water" Dale says as he, Shane, Andrea, and Glenn hop out of the rv. "Problem, Dale?" Shane asks as he walks around Dale. "Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of—" Dale trails off as daryl walks up to the back of an suv, and starts riffling through the contents. "Okay, that was dumb."

"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane says. Daryl's still looking through the stuff in the back of this abandoned car. "There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find." Daryl mutters. "I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start." T-dog suggests as he walks over to Daryl. "Maybe some water." Carol adds.

"Food?"

"This is a graveyard." Lori says which makes almost everyone turn towards her. "I don't know how I feel about this." Lori says quietly. "Alright, alright, here we go."

"Come on y'all. Just look around, gather what you can." Says Shane. We all spilt in our own directions.

I'm looking through the back on an old suv. It was definitely a moms seeing there is a baby and toddlers car seats sitting in the back seat. I wonder if their still alive, and if they are where are they. There's some spare diapers, formula, and wipes things I hope we will never have scavange around for. This world isn't a place for a baby. There's some old children's books definitely too easy for Carl or  Sophia. I look for maybe some older children's books chapter books or something, maybe something I can give to Lori, and Carol since both moms still try to teach their children standards 6th grade curriculum. I sigh as there's nothing but baby essentials. I go onto the next car it's a black Toyota corrolla. It's trunk is open as if the owner quickly grabbed a few things before fleeing. There's an empty backpack laying there. That's all just the backpack. It's nice enough so I take it. No holes, or stains, it looks brand new. I grab it before going onto the next car.

I'm already starting to sweat it's so hot. I wipe my forehead as I push myself through a broken open window to grab a baby pink sweater out of the back seat. I hold it up to my body. it looks like it'll fit so I stuff in into the bag. Then I go onto the trunk. It's also open. Inside is a loaf of molded bread, rotten milk, and some canned corn, and fruits. The person who owned this car must've died before they were able to grab this stuff because I don't think anyone would leave the canned goods. I stuff the canned goods into the bag, and move on. In the next car there is a trash bag full of cleaned clothes. There's pants, jackets, underwear, and shirts. I grab the entire bag and begin to drag it back to the cars. I pass by both Sophia, and Carl. Their mothers are just a few feet away looking through boxes. "What'd ya find?" Sophia asks, "bunch of clothes" I reply. Her eye light up "kids clothes?" She asks. I nod "some." For the last few months we've really only been rotating between two outfits one to wear when we're getting our clothes cleaned, and the ones we normally wear. So new clothes is exciting. I drag it all the way to the cars and load it into the van.

Dales on top of the rv keeping a look out, while Glenn is working on the rv. I don't want to mess with either of them so I go on continuing to go through trunks. I try to stay near the others, just in case I come across a Walker I won't be totally alone. I stay near Lori as she looks through the back of a black van. "What'd you find?" I ask "just some old cds" she replies.

"Lori, under the cars now." Rick whispers as he runs up. "Carl, Sophia, get down now." He hisses. I roll myself under a red suv as Lori runs to get carol. A herd of walkers come through. My hearts beating a mile a minute. I'm pretty sure all four of us adults are staring at the kids trying to tell them through mental telepathy to stay under the fucking cars.

I hope I'm not breathing too loud, it always seems that when you're trying not to be found you're breathing too loud. I cover my mouth trying to muffle my breathing. Right when we think it is over Sophia begins to scoot herself out from under the car. But with our luck there's somehow another Walker. It's growling at her as it gets down on the ground looking under the car. She lets out a blood curdling scream as she tries to scoot herself out the opposite direction. It's also scooting in towards her growling as it tries grabbing at her. Her screaming and sobbing probably drawing more near. She manages to scoot out from under the truck she's under and out into the grass clearing next to the highway. Two walkers follow after her as she runs down and into the woods. Rick follows suit running after Sophia and the two walkers with a rifle in hand. We all scoot out from under the cars following after. "Lori there's too walkers after my baby" Carol cries as she runs to the end he of the freeway. Lori wraps her arms around Carol hugging her, "shh, shh" Lori whispers as she tries comforting Carol.

When Rick comes back he has no Sophia. He said that he left her somewhere to hide while he went to draw away the walkers, and when he came back she wasn't there. He takes Daryl, Shane, Glenn, and t-dog out to look for her while leaving us at the free way.

Shane, t-dog, and Glenn end up coming back. Shane gives us some random chores like scavenging or moving cars. Carols a mess. She's standing at the side of the highway watching out into the forest. I walk over and place a hand on her shoulder. "They'll find her, she's a smart girl" I whisper. She nods with tears in her eyes. I give her a hug before walking off to go help out. I watch as she walks over to Dale "why aren't we all out there looking? Why are we moving cars?" She asks.

I wanted to help find Sophia too. They wouldn't let me. I've already got plans to go out looking by myself though. It wasn't safe, but I wanted to look for her too. She was like my little sister why wouldn't I want to go out looking for her.

"We have to uh clear enough room so I can get the rv turned around as soon as it's running. Now that we have fuel we can double back to a bypass that Glenn flagged on the map." Dale explains. Shane walks up and says "going backs going to be easier than trying to get through this mess."

"We're not going anywhere till my daughter gets back." Carol says with her arms crossed over her chest. Lori walks over and places a hand on carols back. "Hey, that goes without saying."

"Rick, and Daryl, they're on it, okay? Just a matter of time." Shane says. "Can't be soon enough for me." Andrea says tossing a bottle of water to Glenn, who stood next to me. "I'm still freaked out by that herd that passed us by, or whatever you'd call it." Andrea says. Carol walks away, her arms still crossed over her chest. "Yeah, what was that? All of them just marching along like that." Glenn asks. "A herd." I reply "that sounds about right." Shane says nodding "now we've seen it. It's like the night camp got attacked. Some wandering pack, only fewer." Shane sighs, and clears his throat "okay. Come on, people. We still got a lot to do. Let's stay on it. Let's go, come on." Shane says as he walks away. We all go back to work, while Carol stays standing next to the edge of the highway. Poor thing was just a ball of stress.

-

We wander around the freeway, collecting things we need from cars or moving them. Most of the cars are filled with rotten corpses, rotten food, or luggage. A lot of people were leaving, as fast as they could. But I guess something stopped them up around here. Probably the 16 wheeler, maybe a bunch of newly infected walkers. I guess we'll never know.

I watch from a far as Carl comes running up to Shane, and Lori with a big black thing. “Shane!" He shouts "Carl, what happened?" Lori says worriedly. "mom I found something cool." Carl says placing the thing onto the ground, and unrolling it. "Shane, check it out." Carl says with grunt. The thing must've been heavy. "It's an arsenal." Carl exclaims. Shane doesn't really give Carl the time of day. Shane stays bent over the car he's working on "that's cool, bud. Go give'em to Dale."

Carl bends over grabbing a hatchet. "Check this one out, Whoa it's a hatchet." Carl says as he examines the weapon in his hands. "Be careful. Don't play with those." Lori warns, Carl continues to play with the hatchet "they're really sharp-"

"What did I just say?" Lori scolds her son "can I keep one?" Carl asks looking up at his mom. "Are you crazy?" Lori says taking the hatchet from Carl. "No way." He then turns his head to Shane. Shane was always more lenient with Carl than Lori, So was Rick, they were way more fun in carls eyes. "Shane. Shane, tell her to let me keep one."

I continue to look through the trunk of a car. It mostly contained old cds in a large box though. "Hey, man, go give them all to Dale now. Go." Shane says scolding Carl which isn't normal for Shane. I can just sense the 'fuck you' facial expression that Carl is probably giving Shane. I was a kid once too, I remember when someone you thought was fun scolded you, the feeling of your heart falling into your stomach, the grudge that was forming.

"What was that?" Lori asks. I don't look up I continue looking through the trunk. trying not to make any noise that would alert the two that I was here. "What was what?" I hear Shane shut the hood of the car he was working on. "The way you blew him off just now. You crushed him." Lori whispers. Shane doesn't answer he continues to keep himself occupied. "I don't believe you. You're giving me the cold shoulder?"

"Isn't that what you want?" My brows furrow. "Aren't you the one who said stay the hell away, him and you?" Shane, Lori, and Carl were like a family. Everyone thought they were a family. A husband, wife, and their boy. But they weren't obviously after talking to Lori, and carl I found out about their supposedly dead husband, and dad. But he wasn't dead now, and I guess Lori was pushing Shane away. I was sure lori and Shane were fucking before Rick came back. Actually no I knew they were fucking, Glenn came across them in the woods one day, and told me about it.

"You forget what happened at the cdc? Your little meltdown in the rec room slip your mind?" Lori asks Shane angrily. "When you trie-" shane cuts her off "when I tried to what? What do you think that was?" My eyes are widened as I bend down staying out of sight. I definitely know too much, but it's hard to stop listening. "I think it is pretty plain what that was." As a women I know what she's alluding to, it's pretty simple. Sexual assault. They way Shane's trying to gaslight her, the way he's trying ot stay hush hush about it. He tried to rape her in the Rec room. That's why he had scratches on his neck that morning.

"A mistake. One that I admit to. I..I have a few mistakes under my belt, Lori. So do you."

"No debate there. But Shane, we need to stop this." I try to continue going through the boxes as quietly as I can but I keep getting distracted. Trying not to stare, but also trying to look through boxes quietly. "Why do you think I'm preppin' my new ride?....I'm leavin'" Shane reveals. "Leavin'?" I can hear the confusion in Lori's voice "as in I'm gone for good. Gonna quietly slip away first chance I get." Shane starts up the car. It works. I can hear the radio "the emergency alert system has been activated. The office of civil defense had issued the following message: normal broadcasting will cease immediately. This is a civil emergency."

The others begin to walk up "is that a local signal?" Glenn asks. "It's got to be within 50 miles of here" I stand up, and walk over. I can feel Shane staring at me.

"Avoid anyone infected at all costs. Remain calm. Help is on the way. The emergency alert system has been activated."

Shane bends over into the car and turns off the radio. "Asshole. Okay let's get back to work." Everyone begins to walk off.

I begin to walk over to the car I was looking through when I feel a hand on my wrist. I turn around quickly. It's Shane. His brows furrowed "how much did you hear?" He whispers. I shake my head quickly "I..I didn't hear anything. What'd you mean?" I lie. Anger fills his face. I'm lying to him and he knows it. "Don't tell Rick, I swear if you tel-" I cut him off trying to get him to let go of my wrist. "Let go, leave me alone please. I'll tell Daryl if you don't leave me alone" I cry. He tighten his grip around my wrist. I cry out in pain "what's Daryl goin' to do? If he even tries to touch me I'll kill him" he growls. I don't know what snaps inside of him but he begins to try, and kiss me. He presses kisses to my neck as he whispers "you like me baby just admit it."

"Get off!" I cry as I try pushing him away. "Get off! Get off!" I scream as I push him hard enough for him to fall back on his butt. I've gotten everyone's attention now. Everyone's turned their heads to me confused. Glenn's running towards us. "Hey man leave her alone!" Shouts Glenn. "C'mere" Glenn says as he walks up. I hug him immediately. Shane's still sat on the ground eyes widened looking up at me. He's been caught, "I-I wasn' trying to do anything" he stutters out.

"Come on you can come stay up there with me" Glenn whispers as he walks me over to where the others were.

"What was he trying to do?" Dale asks. Glenn shrugs.

-

I stay by Glenn for most part. I help him with the little jobs he's doing, sometimes I go up, and sit in the rv when Shane decides to show his face around us.

I don't know why he was trying to touch me. I guess even during these times men still think they can take advantage of women. No matter what I'd still be a weak little girl to men. Someone they can take advantage of for their own selfish needs.

Rick and Daryl come back when the sun starts to set. They come back with no Sophia though, which definitely upsets Carol even more. I'm sat in the rv, because Shane had decided to come back up towards the rv again. I don't want to see his face ever again.

I can see Rick, and Daryl talking to Carol from the window. Carols hyperventilating, she's worried about Sophia being out there alone. So am I. She's only 12. Letting her be out there all night couldn't be safe. She could get bitten, or get even more lost.

Rick walks off. Lori stays with Carol consoling her while everyone else goes back to their business. I can hear Glenn, and Daryl talking just outside the rv. "Where's y/n?" Daryl asks "in the rv. Um but I've gotta tell you, Shane tried to I don't know touch her earlier.." god he's telling Daryl. Daryl's going to confront Shane, and Shane's going to kill him. I bury my face in my hands.

I hear the sound of loud footsteps walking up into the rv. I look up, it's Daryl. "You alrigh'?" He asks as he sits across from me. "Mhm" I hum with a nod. "Don't..don't say anything please" I whisper. His brows furrow "why not? He tried touching you didn't he?" I nod "he..he said if you tried to do anything he'd kill you" i mutter. He lets out an angry sigh. "Please, don't do anything" I whisper. He lets out a grunt before hesitantly nodding "..fine" he whispers. "But if he does it again I'll kill him."

-

We slept in the cars, it wasn't a very good nights sleep but it was sleep so I can't complain. We were all going out to look for Sophia which made me happy. I hated being useless in the search for Sophia. Rick places the weapon that Carl found the day before on the hood of a car. "Everybody takes a weapon." Rick instructs "these aren't the kind of weapons we need. What about the guns?" Andrea says with a hand on her hip. "We've been over that. Daryl, Rick, and I are carrying. We can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles." Shane says as he presses himself up against the rv. "It's not the trees I'm worried about." Andrea argues. "Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, a herd happens to be passing by. See, then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it." Shane explains. "The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark." Daryl says. Glenn is admiring a weapon that I don't even know the name of. "Stay quiet and stay sharp. Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other." Rick advises.

"Everybody assemble your packs."

I've got my messager bag already packed up with the essentials. Medkit, food, water, gun (even though I'm not supposed to carry it. I'm not getting my gun tooken away because Shane thinks I don't need it.), knife, flashlight, and compass.

Rick walks up to Dale who's sitting on the steps of his rv. "Dale keep on those repairs. We got to get this rv ready to move." Dale stands up "we won't stay here a minute longer than we have to. Good luck out there...bring Sophia back." Carls staying back with Dale. Carl is not happy about that. He wants to help find his friend. "Keep an eye on Carl while we're gone." Rick says as he pats at his sons shoulder. Carl looks up at his father brows furrowed before saying "I'm going with you. You need people, right? To cover as much ground as possible." Rick groans at the stubbornness of his son before looking over at Lori. Desperately looking at her, trying to make her make the decision. He doesn't want to be the bad guy in his sons eyes. "Your call. I can't always be the bad guy" Lori says. "Well he has all of you to look after him, I'd say he's in good hands" Dale says as he leans against the door of his rv. Rick let's out a sigh "okay. Okay. But always within our sight, no exceptions" Rick says before walking off.

I stand by a car looking through my bag, making sure I've got everything I need. I can't leave anything behind.

"Hey" I look up, it's Shane. I take a step back. "Go away" I whisper. Shane let's out a sigh "I'm sorry okay…about yesterday" I shake my head. "Well I don't accept your apology." I say before walking off towards Glenn. "What'd he want?" Glenn asks looking up at me "to apologize" I reply with an eyeroll. "You accept it?" I let out a chuckle "no."

We begin our way out into the forests, we stay together walking in a single filed line through the forest. I keep my hands pushed deep into my pockets, as i clutched my knife in my left hand tightly. I wasn't going to let go of it for a second, just in case.

We turn a corner, and Daryl and Rick both are kneel down. Daryl pointing at a tent set up just a few feet away. "She could be in there." Shane says. "Could be a whole bunch of things in there" Daryl replies as he stands up. At first we try to follow but Rick turns around telling us to stop and wait. Rick, Daryl, and Shane all make their way over to the tent. Daryl aiming his crossbow in front of him ready to shoot. Rick, and Shane stop while Daryl continues towards the tent. After a few seconds of Daryl searching around the tent Rick turns around and whispers "Carol." Carol sprints over towards them following rick towards the tent. We follow after keeping our distance with the tent. "Call out softly. If she's in there, yours is the first voice she should hear." Rick says.

"Sophia, sweetie, are you in there? Sophia, it's mommy. Sophia. We're all here, baby. It's mommy" Carol calls out, desperately wanting her child to crawl out of that tent. Alive, and safe. Rick gestures for Carol to wait while he walks closer towards Daryl, and the tent. Daryl slowly unzips the tent, opens it just a little before covering his nose, and mouth as he coughs. Daryl slowly walks into the tent. Rick was about to follow but has to close it as he coughs and gags. Lori walks up behind Carol wrapping an arm around her. "Daryl?" Carol calls out. No answer "Daryl?" No answer again. A couple seconds later Daryl comes out of the tent. No Sophia. "It ain't her." He says "what's in there?" Andrea asks. "Some guy. Did want Jenner said. Opted out. Ain't that what he called it?" Daryl says as he puts his crossbow over his shoulder.

Bringgg, bringgg, bringggg.

Church bells. We all look around confused on where those church bells are coming from. Rick points towards where the noise sounds the loudest, and we all start running towards it. "What direction?" Shane asks as we slow down. The bells are definitely way louder now. " I think that way. I'm pretty sure." Rick says pointing ahead of himself. "Damn it's hard to tell out here." Shane says as he hops up onto a log. "If we heard them, then maybe Sophia did too." Carol suggests as we continue walking. "Someone's ringing, those bells, maybe calling others." Glenn says.

"Or signaling they found her."

"She could be ringing them herself. Come on." Rick says before just booking it towards the bells.

-

After Miles of running we come across a small white church house, and a cemetery. But there's no bells at all.

"That can't be it. Got no steeples, no bells" Shane says. Rick ignores Shane, and continues on. "Rick." Shane calls out before letting out a sigh and following after Rick. Rick starts running, then we all start running towards the church. There's no need to run, the church isn't going anywhere, but what Rick does we do. He's definitely took over Shane's role as leader quite quickly (and better than Shane ever thought he was) we run up the to front steps of the church. Rick, Daryl, and Shane go up the steps first. Guns, and crossbow ready to shoot. Rick gestures to Daryl to be quiet before pushing the front doors open.

It's a small church, red carpeting, about 6 pews on each side, a crucifix at the front. There's people? Maybe walkers sitting. The turn around snarling, and growling. Definitely walkers. They stand up, Lori hands Rick a weapon, and Rick begins to walk towards them. Daryl trades out his crossbow for the machete thing Glenn was eying earlier. Rick attacks one walker dressed in farmer like attire. He stabs it straight through the head, not even giving it time to attack back. Once the thing falls to the ground Rick begins to stab it over and over again Daryl and Shane take out the other two. Sophia's not in here either.

"Sophia!"

Daryl approaches the crucifix. "Yo, j.c., you taking requests?" He says before turning back around. "I'm tellin' you, it's the wrong church. It's got no steeples, Rick. There's no steeple." Shane says as he walks over to Rick. Then the bells go off again.

Bringggg, bringgg, bringg.

Shane and Daryl push past us running outside. Once we're out there though we notice the ringing isn't coming from a bell but a speaker on the side of th church. Glenn walks over to it. There's a power box at the bottom. He shuts it off. The ringing stops. We wasted our time. "A timer. It's on a timer." Daryl says through pants.

Carol let's out a shaky sigh "I'm..im gonna go back in for a bit" before she begins to walk back towards the church. A lot of us go back in too. To take a breather, maybe pray. Pray for forgiveness, for whatever we did to deserve this shit. Maybe I wasn't religious enough after leaving my grandparents. I grew up religious but let it go soon after moving for college. I grew tired of the abuse, and the limits of religion. Maybe this is my punishment. Granddad did say people who left were given the worst punishments. People who left were saved the worst places in hell.

I sit in the back of the church, Carol kneels in the front. Lori walks in and sits just a bit behind Carol. "Father, forgive me, I don't deserve your mercy. I prayed for safe passage from Atlanta and you provided." I stay looking down at my feet. Memories of the memorized worships and prayers, the promises of purity, to live my life free of sin flow back. "I prayed for Ed to be punished for layin' his hands on me, and for lookin' at his own daughter with whatever sickness was growing in his soul. I prayed you put a stop to it, give me a chance to raise her right, help her not make my mistakes. She's so fearful." My granddad would be disappointed, disgusted of what I became. But who the hell cares of he thinks, what he thought. "She's so young in her way. She hasn't had a chance. Praying for Ed's death was a sin. Please, don't let this be my punishment. Let her be safe, alive and safe. Please, lord. Punish me however you want, but show mercy on her."

I stand up and leave. I can't stand to be in a church for two more seconds. I spent enough time in them as a child. I walk over or Glenn, and Daryl who are standing near a tree. "You alright?" Glenn asks "yeah" I whisper "yeah, I'm fine. Just don't know why I even decided to go in there" I chuckle as I rub at my forehead with my left hand. "You religious?" Daryl asks as I lean myself against the tree. "Nah, not anymore at least. Grew up very religious though" I sighed "it's traumatizing y'know" I laugh. Daryl nods. The rest of the group leaves the church too soon. We stand chit chatting about plans, Sophia, shit like that.

Shane and Rick walk up to us. "Y'all gonna follow the creek bed back, okay? Daryl, you're in charge. Me and Rick we're just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so just to be thorough." Shane says as Lori stands up from where she was squatted down on the ground. "You splitting' us up. Ya sure?" Daryl asks. "Yeah, we'll catch up to ya" Shane says. "I want to stay too" Carl speaks up. Shane raises his head quickly "I'm her friend." Carl says as he walks forward toward his father and Shane. Both look up at Lori for permission. "Just be careful, okay?" She says walking towards her son. Carl turns towards her "I will." Lori cradles his face in her hands "when did you start growing up?" She says as she brings him into an embrace. Rick walks towards the two and presses a kiss to his wife's lips before hugging her. "I'll be along soon enough." Rick whispers. Shane stares at the happy couple, envy in his eyes. "Here take this. Remember how to use it?" Rick asks as he tries to hand his gun to Lori. "I'm not takin' your gun, and leaving you unarmed" she says. Daryl walks over "here, got a spare. Take it." He says handing the gun to Lori. Andrea scoffs before she begins to walk with the rest of us. She's still pissed about not being about to carry hers. I stay near Glenn most of the walk back to the freeway. We quietly talk as we walk through the very confusing forest. Sometimes I think we’re going to get lost, but Daryl’s got it under control. He wouldn’t get us lost.

“So this is it? This is the whole plan?” Carol says as she takes a seat on a log. We all stop in an circle around her. “I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller, and smaller groups” Daryl says leaned against a tree. “Carrying knives and pointy sticks. I see you have a gun” Andrea says turning towards Lori. “Why, you want it?” Lori says looking up at Andrea. Lori walks towards her “here, take it.” Lori holds the gun out in front of her “I’m sick of the looks you’re givin’ me.” Andrea let’s out a scoff but takes the gun. “All of you.” Lori says as she sits down staring down at the ground. At first I’m very confused because i hadn’t noticed nobody giving Lori any dirty looks except for Andrea.

“Honey, I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Carol looks up at Lori “ and I would do anything to stop it. But you’re got to stop blaming Rick. It is on your face everytime you look at him.” Lori whispers. Carol looks back down at the ground. “When Sophia ran he didn’t hesitate, did he? Not for a second. I don’t know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make, or that anybody could done it any different. Anybody?” Lori looks up at all of us. Her eyes going from Daryl, to Andrea, to Glenn, and then to me. She shakes her head as she lowers it “y’all look to him and then you blame him when he’s not perfect. If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead. Nobody is stopping you.” She says before taking a sip out of the plastic water bottle she had grabbed from her bag.

We all look at her with, guilt and pity. Lori slips the water bottle into her bag as Andrea comes up with the gun in her hand, holding it out for Lori.

Lori takes the gun and looks up at Andrea. “We should keep moving.” Andrea says. Lori pushes herself up off of the log she’s sat on, grabbing her bag and slinging it back over her shoulder. We start walking again, this time not uttering a word. The walk is quiet, an akward type of quiet. Out minds are all racked up thinking about what Lori had said. I barely even noticed the little resentment I had for Rick after he came back with no Sophia. I didn’t even notice I may have blamed him. I didn’t ev-

POW.

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@e1d0lonk3k @soul4death @furiousheartpoetry @silicone-bonez @nezukos-number1fan @your-shifting-gurl

[dixonlvr-online]

Dear diary

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x F!Reader

Warnings: Swear words

Genre: Fluff

Challenge: Note to self: don't get kidnapped / Dear Diary @flufftober / "I know what this looks like."

Dear Diary,

Beth told me it’s important to keep track of our lives now because it’ll be history for the future. Now that things have settled here (and I’ve gotten a little bored, to be honest), I think I’ll follow her example and write things down.

Presently, I’m guessing it’s been about a year and a half since the world ended. The world as we knew it, that is. It’s hard to remember my life before. It’s like I woke up when everything shut down. I feel stronger now, more capable.

Life is simpler. No technology to distract us, unreasonable bosses at work, or tedious, meaningless tasks that were expected of us. It’s all about survival now, building from scratch. I help Rick in the garden some days. Farmer life suits him. I’m happy to see him content after everything he’s gone through.

Other days, I’m on the fenceline killing walkers. Or in the guard tower killing time. Or helping Carol prepare meals for everyone. The best days, my favorite days, are when I get to leave the prison. Going on runs to pick up supplies (Note for history: medicine, non-perishable food, and mechanical tools have become priority. Clothes, hygiene products, and weapons are also great finds.), scouting the area for signs of other groups or threats, and hunting with Daryl.

Hunting mornings are the best mornings. We leave early, because Daryl says that’s the best time to start. It’s quieter, easier to hear things. I love early mornings at the prison. Sneaking past everyone sleeping in their cells, quietly pouring myself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, feeling the cold air hit me when I step outside.

And yeah, it’s nice to have Daryl to myself. We had a rough start, the two of us. Back at the quarry, I assumed he’d run off when he couldn’t find Merle. He was always so rough with us, argumentative over little things. I’ll admit, after our first conversation ended badly, I didn’t really try to reach out again.

At the farm, though, I was captured. Seeing him search for Sophia day after day, be Rick’s right-hand when things with Shane got weird, and just be there for us, well…I couldn’t help but talk to him more.

Thank God he came to his senses and didn’t leave with Merle forever. Nights in the guard tower would’ve been so lonely without him. And I feel so at ease with him, so free. I guess that’s why I love early mornings so much. 

We’re going on a hunt tomorrow! Daryl told me “not to wear my high heels” because I was scaring the animals. For the record: I’m wearing boots, like everyone else. Apparently my footsteps are loud, though. Not sure why he lets me come with him, honestly. He definitely doesn’t need my help. I think my jokes are pretty solid, though (I’ve made him laugh multiple times and every time it felt like I’d won first prize at the spelling bee).

Okay, this got longer than I expected. I guess I didn’t give you much information for the history books, but it’s a start. This is my diary, after all. I’ll write about whatever I damn please! I’ll try not to talk about Daryl so much next time, ha. 

Until next time,

Y/N

–

Dear Diary,

So…it’s been a while. Things got crazy there for a minute, so you’ll understand why I haven’t been writing. This is a new notebook, too. The old one got left behind at the prison. I can barely remember what I wrote in it, to be honest. Probably my pining rants about Daryl.

Speaking of, we’re together now! Exciting, right? I don’t know. It feels like I’ve known him forever, and like we were together a long time before we were “together.” Now that we’re settled in Alexandria, things are different. It’s almost like we’re allowed to put labels on things, to tell people how we feel about them. It’s expected in a way.

He asked me to live with him, in the basement of the house we share with some others. I was definitely surprised when he asked me, not because we hadn’t shared a living space before, but because…well…he asked me. He was all shy about it, too. It was adorable.

Obviously I said yes. Living together, it’s easy. We already move as one, like extensions of each other, so the dynamic is good. The close proximity is what opened up the rest of it.

Our second week here, he kissed me. God, it was probably the best moment of my life. I couldn’t stop smiling for days after. Carol and Rosita teased me about it, which was embarrassing, but whatever. Then we kissed again, and again, and again, and every day since.

I’d give anything for it to be like this forever. Everyone looks so happy. Maybe it’s too good to be true, it probably is, but I want to believe we can hold onto this. Rick’s been scheming, Daryl told me, but hopefully it doesn’t mess things up too badly. We’ll make the changes we need to make and I’ll stand beside them through it all. We’re family. 

Okay, I’m sure this update was much better than anything I wrote at the prison. My chest hurts with how light I feel. Here’s to more days like this! History, I hope this is noted as the beginning.

Love,

Y/N

–

Dear Diary,

It feels strange writing those words at this age. Like I’m a teenage girl again, stuck in my room and hating the world. I’m not that girl. I don’t even remember being that girl. Life feels so right today. The pieces fell into place.

Today, I’m a mother. I’m a wife. I’m a leader in my community. I’m a friend. I’m a survivor.

Alexandria is as beautiful as ever, moreso now with all its scars and memories. Man, we’ve gone through some shit. There’s no sugar coating it. The building I’m in right now was half burned down at one point. But we rebuilt it with our bare hands, everyone helping their neighbors without hesitation.

Daryl is stronger than ever. I’m in awe of him every day. We’ve had our rough patches, for sure, but we always pulled through. I couldn’t imagine walking away from him for good, so of course we always came back together.

Watching him as a father has only made me fall in love harder. His little girl is his entire world. The way he softens around her, laughs with her, comforts her. I could be a fly on the wall of their relationship for the rest of my life. 

Also, Daryl brought a dog home. How could I not be in love?

I guess my point is, I’m happy. Despite it all. Because of it all. I know I’m luckier than most. Michonne losing Rick was one of the hardest things to watch, not just because I lost a friend, but because I lost two friends for a while. I hope, with time, she’s able to regain the joy she had before. Judith and RJ are helping with that. I’m trying to.

Gabriel and Rosita are an interesting development. Not an unwelcome one, God knows they both deserve happiness, but yeah, definitely a little surprising. Even Daryl was asking me about it the other day and he hates gossip.

When we first got here, I wished for things to always be as good as they were then. Looking back, things weren’t as good as I thought they were. We lost a lot of things that year. Lots of people. One day, I’ll write it all down here, “for history” as Beth would say.

For now, I’m going to enjoy the peace while it lasts. Whatever comes next, I know we’ll get through it. We always do.

Yours truly,

Y/N

[anna-hawk]

Title: Us, Character: Shane pls I am in desperate need of more Shane content

Send me a character or ship + a title

“You gonna come with me?”

It had been one week since Shane had asked you that question. One week since you'd said yes. And yet, the two of you were still here, at the farm.

With every additional day going by, Shane felt more and more antsy. He and Rick had come to a sort of truce, but both men knew that the rift between them had grown too large to be mended. Shane couldn't help the pang of sadness at losing his best friend after decades of them going through thick and thin. Times had changed… Everything had changed. Them included.

While Shane was cleaning his rifle on the porch steps, he watched you talking animatedly with Maggie, Dale sitting on his beloved RV and adding a comment here and there as he was wont to do. Shane couldn't hear what you were saying, but he still smiled as you burst out into laughter at something Maggie said. The smile fell from his face a second later, replaced by a contemplative frown, his eyes lowering to the weapon instead. Contrary to him, you got along with almost everyone. You'd clashed with Dale a time or two, and the way you rolled your eyes at some of the older man's comments had Shane snorting in amusement each time. The person you got along with the least, though, was Lori. It wasn't so much that you fought a lot, although you'd had a few heated arguments in the months since you'd joined the group, but more that you and Rick got along really well. She obviously didn't appreciate the fact that he kept looking for your input on things, no matter if he didn't like what he heard. Lori's jealous side would have made Shane laugh if he hadn't been feeling the same way. Because while Lori was the person you liked the least, Shane was the one you spent the most time around. You might agree with some of the things that Rick said, but you still shared Shane's opinions. You had from the day you'd joined the group back in the woods.

The thing was that while the attraction was clearly mutual from the get go, neither of you had tried moving things along. Shane didn't really know why, but the timing just seemed off every time. Which was ridiculous, to be honest, considering what the world had become. It wasn't like he could ask you on a date. Your lives were hanging on by a thread if you weren't careful even for a second, so he should have just gone for it the couple of times you had come close to kissing.

It had been with this in mind that he'd decided to pull you aside after announcing to everyone that he would be leaving the group soon. He had expected you to think about it for a while before giving your answer, but you'd surprised him by agreeing on the spot. Just like that. As if it should have been obvious to him.

As he reloaded the rifle, Shane sighed to himself as he thought about how well you fit into the group. He looked up again to see you flip Dale off behind his back, which had Shane smiling. It felt bittersweet. Because he realized that he couldn't offer you anything by asking you to leave with him. Granted, nothing was certain anymore, but at least here you had some sort of stability. People to count on. The possibility to survive. Going with him into the unknown suddenly felt like too much to ask of you.

Putting the rifle next to him, Shane lifted his hand in a small wave as you turned around to see him watching you and waved at him with an impish grin and a roll of your eyes in Dale's direction. Shane chuckled despite the leaden feeling in his gut at the decision he'd just taken as you followed Maggie to the other side of the field.

He spent the rest of the day preparing his departure. He chose to leave without telling anyone, since he'd already said that he'd leave. The only one he went to was Rick. If only to ask him to say goodbye to Carl for him. The boy would be his only regret. Shane purposely didn't think about you as he thought about regrets.

Car loaded and ready to go, Shane waited until close to sunrise before leaving. As he neared the car, he came up short at the sight of the figure leaning against the driver's side, their arms crossed loosely.

“So you were really just going to leave without me.”

It was a statement, not a question. Shane opened the back door and slung the backpack into the car before closing it again.

“Listen-”

“Don't you dare,” you cut across angrily. “Don't you dare serve me the bullshit you came up with that made you think that you had to leave on your own.”

“I have nothing to offer you,” Shane yelled in frustration and definitely a note of despair. “They do.” He pointed at the farm.

“Then why ask me? Why ask me to come with you if you were just gonna leave without me in the end?”

“'Cause I was a fuckin' idiot, and I thought…”

“What?” you asked as Shane didn't continue.

Shane rubbed over his shaved head and heaved a long sigh.

“I thought I could be enough,” he paused for a second. “Here? You have a chance, sweetheart. You're safe. You fit in with them… I don't. Not anymore. But I can't ask you to leave all of this behind for me.”

You didn't say anything for the longest time as you just watched him. You finally pushed off the car and came to stand just a few inches away from him.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I only stayed with the group because of you? Yeah, maybe I fit in, as you said, but…” You looked away for a brief moment before looking at Shane again. “I trust that Rick will do his best to keep them safe. But if we leave together, I know that we will keep each other safe. Us safe.”

Shane's breath got stuck in his throat for a moment at your words. How could that tiny word change everything?

“Us,” he croaked, and saw you smile as the first rays of sunlight hit your face from the side.

“Us,” you breathed, lifting your hands to cup his face and finally pull him in for a long kiss.

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Hiya shippers & readers!

Just as we're feeling a fresh breath of life into our shipper souls thanks to the return of our boys going on fun dates, our book club raffle winner pitched a very familiar theme we hadn't had a chance to revisit in years. Casefic! We wanted them detecting; we wanted them navigating a mystery and with ten nominations pouring in, we found one that many of us had been saving for a special treat A Thread of Lavender by breathtaken.

This brilliantly crafted noir fic, set in the 1950's during the worst of the Lavender Scare, positions Ryan the PI, still so very much Ryan in all his endearing qualities and flaws, in a juxtaposition of trying to get his job done and wavering under the influence of his best friend and partner Shane. We as a book club agreed that-- with its very well-researched setting, plot execution and the author's unflinching look at what it was to be queer in this era and how that speaks to our experiences now--this particular casefic deserves a ribbon in the hall of fame of its genre.

Rating: M

Summary:

In the two years they’ve been in this business, Ryan’s heard countless husbands and wives tell the tale of their spouse’s infidelity, and this one’s textbook: the late nights at the office, the flimsy excuses. A receipt in his wallet from a downtown jewelry store, for a hundred dollar purchase he never told her about.

“I just need proof.” Miss Esposito is wringing her gloves in her lap, but her voice is clear and resolute, her dark eyes dry. “Then I can hang him out to dry.” For the first time since she walked in their door, she looks anxious. “Please—Ryan. Get me those pictures.”

Book Club Thoughts

I definitely felt like this one hit different in a number of ways and it could stand on its own as an original but I want to compliment [the author] deeply on their use of Ryan's quirks to imbue the plot with what we needed in a protagonist

one thing i love about [the author's] fic in general and this on especially is that they have no fear (at least that's apparent) in being realistic about writing how hard it was for queer people in this time period and piece and not shying away from bringing in alcoholism and other classic tropes of the genre

I'm both incredibly unfamiliar with the genre and the time period, but there's something so evocative and vivid about the prose, that it was very easy to feel the setting, very cinematic

yes i love an AU that is Seamless, where there are little easter eggs of irl for us to find but it's really different in key ways

It paints a picture in the mind both the glitz and glamour, and the desperation bubbling under its the surface, that characterized old Hollywood and the city that surrounded it. Efficiently creating atmosphere all without giving off the slightest hint of purple prose

i definitely think sometimes with the historical fic, especially the tinsworth of it all, can get a leeeeetle (or a lot) ooc so it's always a treat to have one that doesn't

overall i just got so absorbed in this world and every scene i pictured was in black and white. loved ryan's focus on Queers and that kind of like… fascination and confusion about it all. shane's stalwart beliefs and ryan's acceptance of it even when he didn't Get It. ryan's big brave hero moment and the vulnerability. augh. just a REALLY GOOD READ

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[hopefulatrocity]

From The Ashes Chapter 4

Note: Next chapter Daryl and Pheonyx see each other for the first time. Reviews and reblogs are appreciated! The song is Lost Boy by Ruth B

Dividers by:

@firefly-graphics

&

@omiyours

Banner by: @liminal-creations 

CW/TW: Anxiety, beginnings of anxiety attack, canon character death, PTSD symptoms. 

Prev Next

After Maggie left, Hershel came in and told Pheonyx what was happening. Apparently Carl needed surgery, and Shane and Otis were heading to the FEMA center at the local high school to get the needed supplies. The one that was overrun with shadows. When the older man told him their plan, Pheonyx stood up so fast the chair he was in was knocked over. 

“What?!”, he exclaimed. “That place is a deathtrap! Otis has almost no experience with those things, Hershel! How long ago did they leave? Maybe I can catch up with them.”

Hershel sighed and placed a hand on Pheonyx’s shoulder to stop him from rushing out of the room, “I know, Nyx. But he needed to do this. He has the EMT experience so he knows what we need. The likelihood the boy survives surgery without the anesthesia and manual respirator is almost zero. And I need you to stay here, he’s going to need another transfusion in less than an hour. We have to have faith that Otis will make it back to us.”

Faith was something that Pheonyx lost many years ago. But he chose not to say that to Hershel. He hated that his stepfather was right, though. He couldn’t leave. Carl needed him. So, he just nodded and righted the chair that he tipped over. Sitting down, he leaned his elbows on his knees and placed his head into his hands. Hershel patted him on the back and left the two boys alone. 

The chances of Otis making it back were slim. While Pheonyx was never close with the farmhand, he had sworn to protect everyone that lived in the farmhouse. Stomach roiling with guilt and fear, he tried to clear his mind and took a deep breath. 

He grasped the young boy’s hand again, noting how much smaller it was compared to his own. “When I woke up in the hospital, I was pretty much catatonic for a while. Didn’t move or talk to anyone. But there was a nurse there, her name was Meredith, she would come in on her breaks and sing to me. It helped bring me out of the hole I was in. Now, I’m not the best singer in the world, the animals are the only ones I’ve sung for, but maybe it can help you too. If not, you won’t remember any of this so I won’t have to be embarrassed. That’s a bonus.”, a soft chuckle escaped his sun-chapped lips. He took a moment to try to think of an appropriate song to sing to an 11yr old boy. When he had one in mind, he began to sing, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“There was a time when I was alone

Nowhere to go and no place to call home

My only friend was the man in the Moon

And even, sometimes, he would go away, too

Then one night, as I closed my eyes

I saw a shadow flying high

He came to me with the sweetest smile

Told me he wanted to talk for a while

He said, "Peter Pan, that's what they call me

I promise that you'll never be lonely"

And ever since that day”

At some point, Kismet had nosed his way through the shut door, drawn by his owner’s voice. He padded into the room, and sat by Pheonyx’s side. A furry nose pressed into the man’s unoccupied hand.

“I am a Lost Boy from Neverland

Usually hanging out with Peter Pan

And when we're bored, we play in the woods

Always on the run from Captain Hook

"Run, run, Lost Boy", they say to me

"Away from all of reality"

Neverland is home to Lost Boys like me

And Lost Boys like me are free

Neverland is home to Lost Boys like me

And Lost Boys like me are free

He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe

Believe in him and believe in me

Together, we will fly away in a cloud of green

To your beautiful destiny

As we soared above the town that never loved me

I realized I finally had a family

Soon enough, we reached Neverland

Peacefully, my feet hit the sand

And ever since that day”

Occasionally, Pheonyx felt a twitch of the boy’s hand against his fingers. Just a whisper of a movement but it urged him to keep singing. 

“I am a Lost Boy from Neverland

Usually hanging out with Peter Pan

And when we're bored, we play in the woods

Always on the run from Captain Hook

"Run, run, Lost Boy", they say to me

"Away from all of reality"

Neverland is home to Lost Boys like me

And Lost Boys like me are free

Neverland is home to Lost Boys like me

And Lost Boys like me are free–”

A creak of the floorboards had both Kismet and Pheonyx whipping their heads to the doorway. Rick’s tall frame filled the entrance. His hat had been taken off at some point and a bit of color had popped back into his cheeks. Not much, but he no longer looked like he was about to pass out. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” his voice was still rough with tears and shock. The sheriff moved farther into the room, walking around the bed to reach his son’s other side. His hands were settled on his hips, thumbs hooked in the holster belt. “Lori used to read him Peter Pan before bed all the time. We got him so many books but he always wanted to read that one. He went as Peter for Halloween 3 years in a row.”

A small smile played over the man’s face as he stared down at his son, “He started crying at his 6th birthday party because he didn’t want to get older. Said that Peter wouldn’t let him be part of the Lost Boys if he did.” 

The smile on Rick’s face was contagious and Pheonyx felt his lips turning up as well. “Your son has good tastes. It was my favorite story growing up too. My first tattoo was actually a quote from the story.”

Rubbing a hand over his sweaty face, Rick reached down to hold his son’s other hand. His warm blue eyes lifted to look into the younger man’s green ones. “Thank you. I just– Thank you. For giving him blood. Sitting here with him. Talking to him. I can’t thank y’all enough.” 

Pheonyx shook his head. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s the right thing to do. Carl’s strong. I may not know him but I have a gut feeling. He’s going to make it through this.”, there was a brief moment of silence, “Maggie told me there is a little girl missing? I’d like to help find her if that’s okay? I spend every day in those woods and I’ve gotten pretty good at tracking over the past couple of months. I’ve also been working with Kismet on scent tracking. So, anyway we can help, let us know.”

Kismet’s ears perked at his name and he looked over at the sheriff, giving a small woof. Obviously, giving the man his qualifications for tracking. Pheonyx hushed the dog and patted his head. A look of relief filled Rick’s eyes as he processed what was said. 

“Yes please. Any help is appreciated. We have an experienced tracker in our group, Daryl, but we lost her trail earlier. We got held up by a herd yesterday, and Sophia ran into the woods, walkers on her tail. I managed to find her and hide her so I could lead the walkers away. I told her to keep the sun over her left shoulder and head back to the highway. But she got spooked by something and her tracks turned around at some point.”

“We’ll find her, Rick. You just focus on Carl right now. He needs you the most.” 

Rick nodded. Pheonyx glanced out the window and saw Maggie riding Koda towards the house. A skinny brunette woman rode with her arms wrapped around his sister. 

Pheonyx tilted his head to the window, “I think your wife is here.”

The next hours passed slowly. After giving the couple some time alone with Carl, Patricia and Pheonyx came back in to hook him up for a second transfusion. He stayed with the boy while Hershel talked to Rick and Lori in the dining room. Kismet kept him company, which ultimately meant the dog was passed out on the floor, snoring. The rhythmic whistling and fluttering of the dog’s lips was oddly comforting in the silence of the make-shift hospital room. When the parents returned, Lori placed a warm hand on his shoulder and thanked him for donating blood. 

“It’s no problem ma’am.”, Pheonyx said, trying not to flinch when she touched his shoulder. The woman was kind and motherly. He knew she wasn’t going to hurt him, but his body still worked on instinct. Strange touches sent jolts of fire through his pores, made fear flow through his veins, and caused his muscles to tense. She must have noticed the brief flare of panic in his eyes, because she pulled her hand away and gave him a comforting smile. Silence reared its head again. 

Day turned into night and every minute that Shane and Otis were gone just increased the worry floating through the house. Rick tried to insist on going after them but Lori tried to pull him back to earth, reminding him he needed to be with Carl. The sheriff was insistent though. Patricia was about to hook Pheonyx up for a third transfusion but he stopped her. He stood up from the chair and approached the bickering couple. 

“Rick, I’m actually feeling a bit dizzy, maybe you could do this unit?” Pheonyx lied easily, knowing the man’s urge to help his son would override his worry for the two men. The ruse worked and Rick allowed Patricia to insert the IV. 

Lori mouthed her thanks to Pheonyx and he gave a small smile in return. He made his way out the door, needing to get out of the room. The fear and anxiety in the room was stifling. Admittedly, a good portion of it was from him. He hadn’t even realized his hands were trembling. It could have been from the blood loss but more than likely it was the feeling of panic closing in on him. Kismet followed beside him, leaning against the man’s leg as they walked through the house to the porch. The dog was better than any therapist or anti-anxiety meds that Pheonyx ever had. Just the presence of his furry companion was a balm to his soul. The screen door squeaked and shut with a loud thud as the pair walked out into the humid night air. 

“Needed a break?”, Maggie’s voice sounded from beside him, and he jumped slightly. She was seated on a rocking chair, knees to her chest, in the dark corner of the porch. Kismet’s tail began to thump against his leg at the sight of the young woman. 

Pheonyx patted the dog’s head and moved to sit beside his sister on the porch. “Yeah. Too many people. Too many emotions. I was 2 minutes away from an anxiety attack.”, he leaned his head back against the house, letting it hit with a soft bang. Kismet laid beside him, placing his head into his lap. 

“You’re doin’ good. I’m proud of you.”, Maggie reached over and brushed some of Pheonyx’s short brown hair from his forehead. She was one of the only people that he could stomach touching him. He even felt comfort in it. “You goin’ to be okay searchin’ for that girl tomorrow? Rick said he wants you to work with one of his people. I know all these new people are alot for you..”

“I’m not going to let my anxiety get in the way of finding a lost kid. We both know I’m the best person to help these people, anyways. I don’t have much of a choice.” Pheonyx pet Kismet’s head, finding solace in the soft fur on his ears and neck. “I’ll have my boy as a social buffer anyways. Right, Kizzie?”, he spoke in baby talk to the pup, who wagged his tail harder at the attention. 

Maggie knew her brother well enough to know he was trying to change the subject. Before she could point it out, the noise of a car coming up the driveway distracted them. A small bit of hope filled both of their chests before they realized it wasn’t Otis’s truck pulling in. An old station wagon pulled up and two men stepped out. One was a buff African American man who looked as if he’d seen better days. Sweat ran down his face, which looked paler than it should be. The other was a younger asian man, probably close to Maggie’s age. They looked nervous and questioned whether they should knock on the door or not, obviously not seeing the two Greene siblings in the dark corner of the porch. 

“You close the gate when you drove up?”, Pheonyx spoke up and smirked when the two men jumped. Kismet leapt to his feet and wiggled his way over to the new people. He panted happily as the men each scratched his head and smiled at him. 

The younger man’s eyes were locked on Maggie as he answered, “Uh, Hi. Yes, we closed it. Did the latch and everything.”, Pheonyx watched him visibly gulp as he looked over his sister. Maggie noticed the attention and placed her feet on the ground, leaning her elbows on her knees. 

Oh this should be interesting, he thought. 

“Hello, it’s nice to see you again. We, uh, met before, briefly.”, the man rambled, his face getting sweatier than it already was. 

Saving the other man from his embarrassment and also needing to get away from the influx of people, Pheonyx stood up. “Maggs, I’m going to head to the stable, start planning the search for tomorrow. If they need more blood, come get me?”

His sister nodded and stood up to give him a kiss to his cheek. “Of course. Try to get some rest, please? Kismet can stay here, give you some time to yourself.”

“Yes, ma’am.”, Pheonyx said sarcastically. As he moved to the brick steps, he noticed the bloodied bandage on the pale man’s arm. Instinctively, his hand moved to his cutlass and adrenaline filled his veins. Noticing the movement, the Asian man moved in front of his friend and held up his hands.

“It’s not a bite! He cut himself on some glass.”

Relief filled Pheonyx and his already-tired body felt even more exhausted. He patted Maggie’s shoulder and inclined his head towards her, “Maggie will show you guys inside. Get you something to eat. I’m sure Patricia can help with that arm of yours.” 

With that, he left the men in the capable hands of his sister and headed to the stables on the other side of the house. The building was one of the newer ones on the property. The original stables for the farm had burned down in the early 90’s during a particularly dry summer. No horses had been harmed, thankfully, but the whole building had to be rebuilt. And now, since the world went to shit, Pheonyx considered it his base of operations. All his supplies for hunting, making traps, and killing shadows were stored in one of the empty stables. There was a property map that was centered on the wall where the tack room was located. That one was nearly the same as the one he gave to Maggie to give to the group on the highway, just much larger. Every mark he had made on this map, he made on the other one as well. It paid to have a backup copy if something happened to the one hung up. Every important location was marked on it: shadow traps, safe walking trails, abandoned farmhouses, supply caches he had buried, danger zones, safe drinking water sources, and even areas where game frequented. The map had taken over a month of heavy work and scouting. Not including the time it took to set up the traps themselves. He had several maps of the surrounding towns, each one marked and sectioned with the types of businesses that the area contained. 

Pheonyx’s legs felt heavy as he passed each stall in the dark building, giving each horse a small pet on their fuzzy noses. In order to keep his family in the dark about his work on eliminating shadows, he did all the work in the stables so they wouldn’t see the supplies and maps. Everyday, he fed and watered the horses, made sure they were groomed, and led them to their designated pastures. In turn, he had gotten close with all of them. He knew all their quirks and strengths. Maggie was the only other person who went in the stables, as she often made trips into town. He was pretty certain that, up until earlier when he confirmed it, she chose to remain oblivious to all of the other work regarding shadows that he did.  It was going to come out sooner or later, and he had a feeling that–with the arrival of this new group–Hershel would be the next to find out. It was something he was dreading. Pheonyx hated fighting with his stepfather, but it was inevitable in this case. He walked to the end of the stable and opened up the empty one he had claimed as his own sleeping quarters. It was nothing special, all he did was sweep out all the hay from the floor and place a camping cot in the corner. One of his grandma’s old quilts was crumpled on top of it along with an old pillow. Placed alongside the cot was a small table with a battery operated lantern. He didn’t bother turning it on before crawling onto the cot, which gave a loud creak from the movement. He kicked off his worn Timberland boots, letting them fall to the floor with a thud.

Despite the exhaustion floating over his head, he didn’t fall asleep. He stared at the ceiling of the stables, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness around him. Minutes passed. Maybe hours. He wasn’t too sure. 

The loud sound of Otis’s truck coming up the drive had Pheonyx shooting up from the small bed. He didn’t even bother putting on his boots before he ran out of the stables, stopping right at the front. Even from a distance, he could see only one person exiting the vehicle. A person who was definitely not Otis. Shane exited the truck and handed off the bags of supplies to Hershel. His heart plummeted. It didn’t take a genius to know what happened. Otis was dead. He may not have known the man very well, but he was still a part of the family. There was a sharp stab of grief in his heart, followed by nauseating guilt. It was irrational, he couldn’t have stopped Otis from trying to right his wrongs, even accidental ones. If Pheonyx had gone in his place, he could have been killed instead. Or Rick could have died from donating too much blood in his stead. Which would mean that Carl would have died as well. Rationally, he knew he wasn’t responsible for Otis’s death. It still didn’t stop the darker parts of his mind from placing the blood on his hands.

Pheonyx probably should have gone to comfort his sisters, or Patricia, but he didn’t have the emotional energy to handle it. Kismet was with them, so he knew they at least had someone to cling to. So, he just headed back into the stables.

And just how Pheonyx always dealt with his emotions, he packed away the grief and put all his energy into distracting himself. In this case, it was planning the search for the little girl. He studied the large map, one that showed all the elevations of the property, on the stable wall and scrubbed a hand over his face. Turning on the lamp that hung by the tack room, he sighed and got to work. 

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