#in a true ‘I am spartacus’ moment

[larrylimericks]

21Jan23

¡Dios mío!, the only thing worse Than Boyfriend Lou is the reverse; From Pool Girl beginnings To Mexican fibbings — That’s right, it’s the partyboy! curse.

[goldlightwriting]

Fate/Apocrypha is, unironically, one of my favorite entries in the Fate franchise. Oh, it has its problems, I am well aware, but I love so many the characters and themes it tries to set up. Not necessarily the execution of all of those, mind you, but I honestly think Apocrypha had some amazing potential.

That being said, I also definitely agree that it could have been handled better. So... Like usual, I'm gonna make a list of changes/suggestions that I think could have improved the overall story. You're free to disagree, make your own suggestions, or whatever as long as you're civil about it.

Anyways, there's a lot below the cut, so be warned.

Black Faction

Saber: Siegfried

Archer: Orion

Lancer: Vlad III

Rider: Astolfo

Caster: Avicebron

Berserker: Frankenstein's Monster (Eve)

Assassin: Jack the Ripper

Red Faction

Saber: Mordred

Archer: Atalante

Lancer: Karna

Rider: Mandricardo

Caster: Shakespeare

Berserker: Spartacus

Assassin: Semiramis

Other

Ruler: Jeanne D'Arc

Protagonist: Adam (Sieg)

-Changes explained-

Siegfried's Role

As in the original, Siegfried would be one of the Black Faction's major power houses. He's the first to fight Karna, and his nigh-invulnerability is a major factor in the Black Faction's plan. This time around, though, Siegfried does NOT sacrifice himself just to save the homunculus, instead living to fight when the two factions have their first major clash.

Unlike in the original, Siegfried's main rival is Mordred rather than Karna. We're also changing his Noble Phantasm here. Rather it just being Balmung, Siegfried's main NP is "Slayer Balmung," which recreates the final blow he dealt against Fafnir that earned him the reputation of a dragon slayer. Though a fierce attack on its own, this Noble Phantasm becomes extremely lethal to any being with draconic blood (which Mordred technically does.)

Ultimately, it is Mordred's Noble Phantasm that prevails when they clash, though just barely. The rage and hatred that fills her blade reminds Siegfried briefly of Kriemhield, which causes him to falter and suffer a grievous wound.

Mordred's Role

Like in the original, Mordred and her Master effectively go rogue from the Red Faction, as neither cares much for authority. Even so, they still arrive to help their allies during the great clash between both sides. There, Mordred faces off against Astolfo, Frankenstein's Monster, and finally Siegfried.

Mordred slays Siegfried with her Noble Phantasm, Rebel Clarent, that recreates the final blow she dealt against King Arthur. It is an attack that gains tremendous power against those of royal birth, having felled the Once and Future King and brought about the end of Arthur's reign. As Siegfried himself is a prince, this attack is even able to bypass his armor Noble Phantasm and deliver an ultimately fatal blow.

In spite of this, Mordred does suffer significant damage herself, and is forced to retreat when Spartacus goes on a rampage. She'll later go on to ally herself with Black Faction once she learns of the Red Faction's true motivations.

In fact, Mordred will be the one to deal a lethal blow to Semiramis using Rebel Clarent just like in the original. Also like the original, Mordred will ultimately fade away due to her Master being killed, though she spends a brief moment connecting with him.

*Side note: while I do think that Mordred would have worked really well as a trans male due to her violent reactions whenever anyone refers to her as a woman, I'll continue to use she/her for the time-being since that's what she's canonically goes by in the main series... I dunno, Fate's infamously weird about genders, but just know that I would accept trans Mordred even if it's not canon.

Orion's Role

I decided to replace Chiron with Orion as Archer of Black in this version of the story; the ACTUAL Orion, to be clear. Obviously he wouldn't be summoned in the Grand Class, but he'd still be a pretty significant powerhouse for the Black Faction to help even things out against Red Faction's heavy hitters.

For one thing, I think it'd just be rad to see Orion and Spartacus having a no-holds-bar brawl. As much as I love the boxing match between Chiron and Achilles, I feel like this would be a decent substitute. Additionally, I think Orion could have some interesting interactions with Atalante, given their shared connection to Artemis. It would be especially fitting if he were the one to take her down once she transforms from Agrius Metamorphosis.

The big reason to include Orion in this story, though, is that he's one of the few Servants that could ACTUALLY pose a serious direct threat to Karna. Orion's second noble phantasm, Orion Hórkos, "negates all defensive skills and Noble Phantasms." He could fire it to destroy Kavacha and Kundala, which if nothing else, could leave Karna vulnerable for another Servant to finish him off... Though it would also theoretically mean Karna could freely summon Pasavi Shakti.

Ultimately, I think Orion's defeat should come at the hands of Semiramis, whose poison would be extra effective against him since he was killed by scorpions (in some versions of the myth.)

Atalante's Role

Atalante's role in the story remains largely unchanged. The most notable difference is the active rivalry she has with Orion, initially disliking him for being the one who Artemis fell in love with. Orion's attitude only furthers her distaste for him.

However, when Atalante turns her fury to Jeanne for exorcising Jack the Ripper, Orion is the one who ultimately brings her down in the Hanging Gardens. He tells her that Artemis would hate to see her daughter in such a state, and Atalante ultimately fades with a newfound respect for her fellow hunter...

Vlad III's role

Vlad's role will remain relatively unchanged, right up until he's forced to transform into Dracula by Darnic. Instead of being possessed by his Master, the Vampire Lord just goes on a rampage against the other Servants as he embraces his Prince of Darkness persona.

Dracula runs amok for a time, his power great enough to let him face off against several other Servants all at once. However, he is ultimately defeated when Shiro Amakusa Tokisada arrives to bolster Red Faction's strength by using his Noble Phantasm.

Karna's Role

Karna will take on much the same role as before, fighting unflinchingly for the Red Faction and acting as the Black Faction's single greatest obstacle. As stated before, though, Karna's downfall begins when Orion is able to penetrate Kavacha and Kundala with his Noble Phantasm. This leaves Karna without his armor, but that also means he is free to summon Vasavi Shakti at any point after the fact.

Ultimately, I think Karna should use his sacred spear when the Black Faction are attempting to invade the Hanging Gardens. He'll attempt to wipe them all out in one go, but Jeanne's Noble Phantasm winds up narrowly managing to hold back beam long enough for Astolfo to swoop in on his Hippogriff and deal a killing blow.

Karna will accept his defeat gracefully, but warns the Black Faction that, with a seventh Servant's defeat, the Grail will soon be ready to fulfill a wish...

*The Grail did not absorb Fran/Eve's soul since she technically still exists within Sieg/Adam

Astolfo's Role

Astolfo is another character who remains largely unchanged. He assists Adam in escaping the castle and later stands up for him during the liberation of the homunculi. The biggest and most significant change is that I'm going to have him contract with Caules after Celinike's death.

Astolfo will play several key roles throughout the story: helping bring down threats like Avicebron's Noble Phantasm, aiding in the Black Faction invasion of the Hanging Gardens, and even dealing a killing blow on a weakened Karna.

Ultimately, I'm somewhat split on Astolfo's final fate. One could have him survive and continue to exist in the modern age like in the original ending, which is theoretically fine as long as he doesn't cause any major upsets like casually revealing the existence of magic to the world. Otherwise, I'd have Astolfo perish in the final battle, perhaps after helping Jeanne break free from First Folio. As a carefree, happy-go-lucky spirit, Astolfo feels like he could plausible overcome any tragedy that Shakespeare dredges up from his past, though he would ultimately perish against Amakusa.

Mandricardo's Role

Replacing Achilles as the Rider of Red, Mandricardo is accidentally summoned to the Red Faction in place of another hero from the Trojan War: Hektor. Mandricardo mostly keeps to himself and first emerges to fight during the Battle of Trifas.

During this conflict, Mandricardo has a brief encounter with Astolfo, who seemingly struggles to remember him. The two are interrupted, however, by the rampage of the now-rogue Spartacus. Reluctantly, Mandricardo switches his focus to helping bring down the wild Berserker. Though Orion does most of the heavy lifting in this regard, Mandricardo is seemingly able to put Spartacus out of commission with his first Noble Phantasm: Serment de Durandal. This destroys Mandricardo's wooden sword, however.

Later on, after the Red Faction's true colors are revealed, Mandricardo parts ways with them in secret, stealing away both his sedated Master and the catalyst used to summon him: the red jewel Roland once had embedded in his sword.

After spending some time with the Black Faction and even forming an ironic friendship with Astolfo, Mandricardo agrees to join them on the condition they keep his Master safe and secure. He gets a new replica sword with Roland's jewel in it, as well. When Avicebron summons Keter Malkuth, Mandricardo is able to use his second Noble Phantasm, Rêve de Durandal, to slay the golem after Astolfo knocks it off its feet. However, doing so uses up all the remaining magical energy he has, considering his Master is too week to adequately supply Mandricardo with any more mana. He and Astolfo exchange some brief words, with the latter stating that he'll definitely remember Mandricardo as a hero going forward.

Avicebron's Role

Like before, Avicebron's main purpose in the story is providing golems to the Black Faction while steadily working on the completion of his Noble Phantasm. He will also capture Spartacus and manipulate him into rebelling against the Red Faction, just like in the original story.

The biggest change comes in the fact that he manages to find and salvage Berserker of Red's body after his alleged defeat at the hands of Mandricardo and Orion. Avicebron secrets Spartacus away to try and incorporate his remains into Golem Keter Malkuth, using him as the core instead of Roche (IDK I just never liked Avicebron sacrificing the kid, and they even kind of acknowledge that's not something he would usually do in Grand Order.)

That said, Avicebron does ultimately wind up letting Keter Malkuth absorb him, perhaps in response to Roche trying to stop him with a Command Spell. Now a part of the golem as well, he is no longer susceptible to Command Spells, and Keter Malkuth can rampage freely in its efforts to 'build a new Eden.'

Ultimately, of course, Keter Malkuth is stopped by the remaining Servants of Black and their Red Faction allies.

Shakespeare's Role

Shakespeare's role in the story will be more-or-less identical to the original. He mostly serves as a spectator from within the Hanging Gardens, watching the grand drama play out and adapting the events of the Grail War into a play as they happen. His major contributions to the Red Faction come in utilizing his Noble Phantasm to disorient enemies with First Folio, forcing them to relive their own tragedies.

Shakespeare's only major confrontations are against Fran/Eve during the Battle of Trifas, and Jeanne and Astolfo during the final battle. Shakespeare manages to get to Jeanne with his Noble Phantasm, forcing her to confront all those she failed to save, including the maddened Gilles de Rais. However, he is undone by Astolfo, who is unbothered by the shortcomings of his past and is thus able to free both himself and Jeanne from the illusion.

Ultimately, Shakespeare remains a spectator to the true final confrontation between Amakusa and the heroes, then flees to try and pen the last of the battle before the Hanging Gardens ultimately collapse.

Jack's Role

Honestly, there's not much, if anything I'd change about Jack's role in the story. The only details I'd alter are their outfit and maybe the name of their Noble Phantasm. Maybe something along the lines of: "Whitechapel Murder-Bane of Women of the Night."

Semiramis's Role

As in the original, Semiramis is the unofficial leader of the Black Faction, being Amakusa's Servant and the queen of the Hanging Gardens. Her flying fortress will serve as the main base of operations for Red Faction, and she will remain there for the majority of the story.

Ultimately, Semiramis will be the one to kill Orion with one of her summons. Though he narrowly manages to slay the beast, Orion's weakness to poisons and venom will cause him to succumb. Regardless, this opens the path for Mordred and her Master to face down the Queen of Poison.

Ultimately, Mordred is able to deal a lethal blow to the queen with Rebel Clarent, though due to Kairi taking a lethal blow in the battle, Mordred's connection to the world is severed and she fades away as a result.

Semiramis's pseudo-romance with Amakusa is... Fine. I don't particularly love it, but I don't entirely hate it, either. Whether you want to keep it or not is up to you.

Sieg/Adam

I honestly really like the concept of Sieg: a homunculus born to fight and die for the mages who created him who breaks out and tries to find his own place in the world. Honestly, I don't even think he's AS bland as people make him out to be... But I won't deny that he definitely could have been done better.

The amount of plot contrivance that needs to happen just for him to survive and win most of his fights is absurd, and his whole relationship with Jeanne feels really, really forced. Honestly, if he's going to have a romance with anyone, wouldn't it make more sense for him and Fran to get together? While they're not the exact same, Adam/Sieg IS technically what she wants: someone similar to herself; an artificial being. Her Noble Phantasm winds up being the reason he survives his fight with Mordred, and is able to go up against Amakusa at the end.

Honestly, Fate/Apocrabridged even introduced me to an idea that could have made this work. Perhaps, after implanting part of herself inside of him, Fran's voice now lingers inside of this young homunculus, and their spirits intertwine. The name Adam could even fit, as he's the first of his kind to awaken among the Yggdmillenia homunculi. I think you could do away with the whole convoluted Siegfried transformation thing and just let Fran's galvanism be the reason he can keep up up Heroic Spirits, especially since that's all he needs in the final duel with Amakusa.

Speaking of which, Adam could serve as solid foil to Amakusa. He's a newly-born homunculus trying to liberate his people from their enslavement by the Yggdmillenia. Amakusa, having once fought for his own people, believes that Adam's quest is doomed to end in tragedy unless they, too, are made one with the Grail.

Adam rejects this claim, having learned from the heroes around him what it means to persist even in the face of tragedy and to fight against those trying to force their ideals on others. The two ultimately clash in Amakusa's Shimbara Hell (more on that later), with Adam narrowly emerging victorious by using the last of Eve's power to summon a miniature Blasted Tree.

Ultimately, Sieg survives the final battle and escapes the Hanging Gardens as they finally begin to collapse. Having used up the last of Fran/Eve's power, he sets out try and find a place in this world, free at last to lead his own life inspired by the many heroic figures he's met throughout the story.

Shiro Amakusa Tokisada

So Shiro Amakusa Tokisada has a whole convoluted backstory in Apocrypha, but I think it works decently well for the most part. He's got ties to this timeline's Third Holy Grail War and his origins as a 'miracle child' are expanded upon to be a result of magecraft. Amakusa becomes the true antagonist, trying to make a paradise by sucking up all human souls into the Grail.

The part about Amakusa's portrayal in Fate that honestly really annoys me is his Noble Phantasms. All three of them are just... Complete nonsense based entirely around Fate's headcanon that Amakusa's a special type of mage, and Big Crunch isn't even something he can use under normal circumstances. Nothing about his history is actually portrayed here, so first we're going to reinterpret Amakusa's NP a bit. In fact, perhaps his Noble Phantasm could be what allows him to take over the Red Faction.

In life, Shiro Amakusa Tokisada was the leader of a doomed rebellion. He was the one the desperate Christians in Japan turned to after enduring immense cruelty under the shogunate, and so he represented a beacon of hope for them to follow; a banner he could flock to. In fact, his very name is a reference to Amakusa Island, where most of his followers were from.

Perhaps, then, his very existence is itself a continually-active Noble Phantasm that compels others to follow him. It's effectively a beefed-up version the Charisma skill, with its only caveat being that doesn't work on those with animosity toward him. Effectively, it strengthens the commitment of those already loyal, rather than forcing people to follow him. When he speaks the True Name of this Noble Phantasm, Amakusa is able to temporarily buff the stats of all his allies to their max, albeit at the cost of (naturally) having to reveal his true identity.

Conversely, I think it would make sense to give Amakusa his Shimabara Hell Noble Phantasm. I know that's something he's supposed to only have as an Avenger-Class Servant, but I just like the idea of it serving as the backdrop for the final battle. He is ultimately defeated in a duel by Adam, but dies believing that the Greater Grail is too far along to be halted...

Jeanne D'Arc

One of the biggest immediate changes I'm making to Jeanne's portrayal is that I'm retconning Laeticia. I honestly don't understand why they felt the need to have her in the story at all, since she doesn't contribute much of anything other than pushing Jeanne to pursue her feelings for Sieg (which we are not doing this time around.) So yes, we're just going to have Jeanne manifest as a full-on Ruler Servant, no possession nonsense required.

Beyond that, her role will be largely the same; trying to make sure both factions play by the rules while also investigating Shiro. She plays a hand in helping Adam (Sieg) escape, viewing him as a neutral party after he's gained autonomy.

Another significant change is that, this time around, Jeanne will use her NP (Luminosité Eternelle) to block Vasavi Shakti instead of Crying Warmonger. After that, she proceeds into the Hanging Gardens along with the rest of Black Faction to confront Amakusa and halt his plans.

Jeanne's story will conclude with her using La Pucelle (renamed to Jeune Fille Brûlante) to eradicate the Greater Grail and prevent Amakusa's wish from being fulfilled when it seems that there is no other option, rather than wasting her big suicide on an attack that ultimately doesn't work.

Ultimately, Jeanne's role is to right the wrongs of Amakusa's sins, providing both him and Adam hope for the future and humanity.

Alright, that's where I'm gonna end this for now. Believe me, I have a lot of other ideas and things I would love to talk about, but this post has taken me several days already and I don't think THAT much needs to be changed regarding the overall plot and the Masters.

So yeah, for now, this is my version of Fate/Apocrypha. Let me know what you guys think, and until next time, stay bright.

[coalitiongirl]

Fic Recs (under 300 edition)

So I wanted to get back to reading Swan Queen fic regularly, and I asked people to rec longfic that they'd read (not written) and loved that had fewer than 300 kudos! I haven’t read most of these, but I’ve collected them here so y’all can go through the list and discover some new fics with me! Please try to kudos and review every fic that you read! It means the world to the writers and will keep em writing, and then we all win. 😁

Atonement by SgtMac (M): With Regina's magical heart failing thanks to years of previous evil, Emma and Regina and Henry (and Granny!) set out to save her life by traveling to the Enchanted Forest and requesting help from ancient magical beings known as the Guardians. Given a mission as simple as it is impossible - to achieve atonement by creating peace - the ladies find themselves joining a rebellion and fighting for the very soul of the Enchanted Forest all while trying to help Regina to understand that the self-loathing and guilt which have driven most of her actions don't have to doom her chance for a new beginning or even, a chance to live and love again. A S4(ish) SQ love story set against the turmoil of war and the chaotic savagery of the old world.

Blood and Sand by cheshire6845 (E): A/U The Savior is a slave forced into the role of fighting as a gladiator for the House of Hearts. The odds are against her survival as she will have to win in the arena, navigate Cora's schemes, outlast a general's vengeance, and not be killed out of spite by the current House of Hearts Champion - Regina the Undefeated. This story follows the major plot points of Starz Spartacus with some twists along the way.

But what if there was no time by KizuRai (M): When she wakes up, it's dark. She can't move, she can't see, she can't feel and she can't hear. Where am I? She feels a forceful oppression, pressing her down, draining her of her energy and she's powerless to stop it. How did I get here? The question of here is relative, she's not even sure where here is. What happened? There must be some reason for being stuck here but her memory is fuzzy, like all her thoughts are being sifted through a filter. Who am I? She's not sure if she actually exists or she suddenly became sentient in the darkness.She hears a voice reverberating in the distance, it's distorted and quiet but she hears it all the same. It breaks the monotony of the silence. Someone's coming for her, they will get her out. She's just not sure she wants them to as the price might be too great.

Finding Home by evl_rgl (T): “I wanted to remember you so badly that I pulled back your cursed town just so that the memories would make sense. I needed you so badly that even when I had no memory of you, I still tried to find you.” Regina gave Emma and Henry memories of a happy life together before they fled Pan’s curse, leaving them with no memories of their lives in Storybrooke. However, when the memory spell shows signs of failing, threatening to rip apart the minds of both Emma and Henry, Regina makes a drastic choice to go back and fix it, understanding that it will mean living alone in a world where her son doesn’t know her. Was the spell really faulty, though? (swanqueen)

Five Flames by MariaComet (U): In the past, Emma Nolan disconnected from her peers in high school, preferring to keep to herself. In her sophomore year of high school, she decided to try and join the boy’s wrestling team because she was bored. She didn’t expect herself to become the champion of the most bullied kid in school or the secret best friend of the school queen. She also didn’t expect to join a club that would change her life. In the present, Emma is trying to cope with a humiliating loss in her martial arts career. She claims to be “training” but is stuck in limbo between wanting to retire and try again. She is isolated from her former best friend, Regina Mills, a local celebrity chef and the rest of her old friends. When one of them calls her with an idea to honor their deceased teacher, she is confronted with unresolved feelings and questions about how powerful love truly is.

A Glamour of Truth by PrincessCharming (T): After 2x10, Regina uses magic to show Emma the obvious truth. A tentative trust forms between them amid hilarious bickering. With Emma's help, Regina struggles to regain a place in her son's life... until Cora arrives, wanting her daughter back. Pieces of Regina's past emerge showing that the board was set long before the game started. The final battle begins soon.

His Dark Materials 'verse by MoonlitMidnight (M): A modern Alternate Universe in which Dæmons (the external physical manifestation of a person's 'inner self' that takes the form of an animal) are present. In which Emma and Regina have led slightly different lives and they make slightly different choices.

How Many Miles to Avalon? (WIP) by RavenOutlander (E): Regina would do anything to save Emma from the darkness and bring her back home safe and sound. Even put up with the two idiots, Captain Guyliner and a bunch of dwarves she decidedly wanted to drop off at the nearest exit. But in their search for Emma, they find that she might not need that much saving after all. Caught up in a search for the infamous Philosopher Stone, an all out war between DunBroch and Camelot, and ghosts from the past to haunt her every waking moment, Regina finds herself scrambling to keep her and her family's happy endings from falling apart.

The Hyperion by FrankenSpine (M): After wishing upon what she believes is a shooting star, Emma Swan finds herself aboard the Hyperion, the royal starship of an alien Queen from a faraway galaxy. She quickly learns of the tensions between the Queen's people and her own, but the Queen takes an interest in her and agrees to take her away from Earth forever. Adventure awaits. *(Loosely based on Guardians of the Galaxy with just a hint of Farscape)*

If Wishes Came True (It Would've Been You) by Angeii_K (M): After Regina films a guest appearance on her friend Neal’s popular show, he invites her to spend the weekend with him and his girlfriend. What she never expected was to actually like the woman. Sparks fly between the two, which results in them questioning everything and making choices they will later regret. 4 years later, they meet again in the most unexpected of ways. Now co-stars on the same show, they are forced to work through the emotions from their last encounter. What will happen next? Only time will tell.

The King Doesn’t Have To Know (WIP) by highheelsandchocolate (M): The White Knight had never seen anyone like her before: the Queen was nothing short of mesmerizing. Her possessive yet neglectful husband, however, was another thing entirely.

The Lich by Dangereaux (M): Gay disaster Emma, exasperated Regina, and a monster. A Halloween special.

Maybe if We Close Our Eyes we Can Reach the Stars by wellthizizdeprezzing (T): Emma is a lonely astronaut. Regina is an adventuring alien. Their paths cross leading them onto a journey of new discovery. Between galaxies and many miles of cold black space, despite not speaking the same language, they manage to fall for each other. An out of this world love story.

A prisoner long forgotten by sugarsweet_19 (M): ‘I wish I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood and as black as the wood of the window-frame. Soon after she had a little girl, who was as white as snow, with lips as red as blood and with her hair as black as the ebony of the window-frame. She was therefore called Snow-white.” This is how our story starts but how will it end?The evil queen as been locked up in a tower and forgotten that is until princess Emma looks for a place to hid from her parents after they tell her she has to marry Neal the son of the dark one.

Revenge of the Three Little Pigs by mskyo (M): Regina and Emma find themselves alone and looking for the rest of their party. The Evil Queen must face the consequences of her past actions. Will Emma come to her aid, or understand that justice must be served... *Some chapters have fairly graphic sex, and violence*

Things I Almost Remember by cheshire6845 (T): A/U Despite an oncoming war between the Dark and the Light, Emma and Regina are best friends growing up in the Enchanted Forest. When war does come, they find themselves on opposite sides. Regina will have to defy her mother to save Emma. Will Emma be able to save Regina when Cora curses her daughter to live in the Land without Magic?

What We Make (WIP) by DiazTuna (M): “My mother.” He says calmly. He’d known all along, she’s aware. But he’d known that today would be the day that would get this going. She wants to ask what it was like, to have woken up this morning, laced up his boots and walked into hell just knowing. “It’s programmed the cyborg to kill her. Before I have a chance to be born.” -In which the leader of the future sends his best soldier back to the past to save his mother from a killer cyborg. Terminator AU.

The Wrong Way by pcworth (M): Takes place right after Zelena steals Regina's heart. Zelena offers Regina a chance to go back in time with her and change both of their lives for the better. But what will be the price of that decision. Slow-burn to SwanQueen

zombie trash by 13pens (T): Zelena could have her brain and eat it, too. Fic operates on three premises 1. this takes place in any universe where zelena is a reformed asshole 2. zombies are a thing and exist iZombie style 3. i have NO chill

[zalrb]

oh interesting!

hmm.

cillian murphy

sterling k brown

james gandolfini 

woo do hwan

christian bale 

giancarlo esposito

katey sagal

It’s not necessarily that David Tennant plays menacing or intimidating exactly but when he plays despicable characters I am always like um, you know, you do this extremely well and if I met you as that character I wouldn’t want to go near you, so I’m putting him down

kim jae wook

lena heady

angela bassett

danai gurira

edward norton -- i think he’s a great and underrated actor and can actually be quite intimidating in his roles but i do have to say this largely stems from the fact that i saw american history x really young and he scared me in it because, you know, he plays a white supremacist who gleefully kills Black men, so.

bryan cranston

ok so like jason momoa as drogo is like ... he could get it but dude is menacing, like i understand why that would-be assassin is quivering, i’m just quivering for different reasons

john hannah as batiatus is like, with a lot of the villains of spartacus, they’re unassuming until they reveal themselves and you’re like ohhhhhhhhh you’re diabolical as shit! so a lot of the time batiatus doesn’t come across as intimidating but then when he gets to his true colour moments it’s like k well, i never want to cross you, dude.

[hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong]

The Century War of Wyverns, Part 2: Chase the French Soldier

[Previous] [Contents] [Next]

Kat: Our first encounters in a strange new land! It... doesn't go well tbh, but I'm sure the next one will!

Cris: Turns out Spartacus doesn't understand "the back of your blade" very well.

Jeanne: {CWs for violence against humans, death, first-person panic attack}

------

God dammit, how the hell can that mountain of muscle move so fast? We barely got a word in edgewise and he’s already left us in the dust! If we don’t get there in time those soldiers are gonna be a big red smear on the ground. One more hill, and… he’s just… standing there, having a conversation with them? He gestured towards the one in the gaudiest uniform before walking over.

Spartacus: Placet expectare.

Spartacus: Ah master, there you are! I have glorious news! These soldiers are themselves fighting against the oppression of a false king! Of course, a true king is also oppressive in its own way, but still! Their leader even speaks latin! Roughly.

French General: C'est ton géant ?

Kat: <Ooh, ooh! I got this! Time for all that duolingo to do its thing!>

April (Kat): Bonjour, garcon!

I internally rolled my eyes as the soldier blanched.

Cris: <Kat. Garcon means boy. Let’s try something else.>

April (Cris): (Hey, Mash, do you know French? Mine’s a little rusty.)

Mash: (Sorry master, I barely know enough to say hello.)

April (Jeanne): (Well, English is a common lingua franca, might as well try that, right?)

Cris: <Good idea!>

Mash: Wait, that’s-

April (Cris): Sorry about that, tried to be polite, don’t actually know that much French. The big guy’s with us, and we were hoping you… could… Ah, fuck.

The soldiers had already surrounded us. Cries of “L’Anglais!” erupted around us as they pointed their spears in our direction.

Mash: The French are at war with England in this time period!

April (Cris): I gathered, yeah.

Spartacus: So now they seek to oppress us as well?

Mash: What are your orders, master?

April (Cris): Take them down but try not to kill the idiots. Uh… hit them with the back of your blade, or something.

Mash lifted her shield up quizzically.

Mash: And what part of this, exactly, is the blade?

April (Cris): Dammit, just try not to kill them!

Even holding back, it was clear the soldiers were no match for Mash Kyrielight. She ran circles around them, their every attack parried as their weapons shattered against their shield. Even three on one, the soldiers didn’t stand a chance. Meanwhile, Spartacus ha- oh God.

I faltered, stumbled off the road and retched. If Mash had a spotless technique, Spartacus’ was nothing but spots. He simply walked from soldier to soldier and shattered their bodies with his fists. He hadn’t even bothered to draw his sword. The few soldiers Mash pacified were bruised, but relatively unharmed. The ones unlucky enough to face Spartacus weren’t going to get back up.

The forest span <Jeanne?> around me. I know someone was calling our name, but I couldn't <Jeanne!> hear anything beyond the blood rushing to my head. My chest hurt, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't- <JEANNE!>

A sharp sting as my hand slapped my cheek. Cris stopped me from spiraling again. I took a moment to breathe properly.

April (Jeanne): Okay… Okay, I’m good. I think.

I slowly stood up and made it back to the others. The surviving French soldiers had already made their escape. Mash’s spirit origin was shaking. I put my hand on her shoulder as I got closer.

April (Jeanne): Mash, are you alright?

Mash: I should be asking you that, Master. I’m… I can’t believe it, but I’m still not used to this.

April (Jeanne): It’s only been a day or two Mash, you don’t have to force yourself to be okay with this.

Mash: A day? Oh, right.

Spartacus: Mmh. It might be better for you two if you don’t become comfortable in these sorts of things. The two of you are unoppressed by the experience of warfare. Hold that close to you.

Mash: Right. Thank you, Spartacus. So, what’s our next move?

April (Cris): Right, I hate to do this, but… we need to follow the soldiers that ran off.

Spartacus: Ahah, we must finish the fight then?

April (Cris): NO! Nonono. I mean, they’re going to run to the nearest place with people. They’re our only lead right now. Did you see which way they went, Spartacus?

Spartacus: Of course! Follow me!

----

On our way, we got in contact with Dr. Roman again. Turns out our plugsuit comes equipped with a translator- would have come in handy earlier, but fuck it, at least we won’t have to fight literally everyone we come across.

The sky was turning red when we finally saw the smoke clouds over the horizon. We rushed over a hill and finally got a look at the fort. It was in bad shape. Walls crumbled in, with smoke and fire billowing out from several windows. Dark shapes moved through the smoke, obscured in a haze.

Another wall fell over as we descen-

Kat: <Hey, look! Isn’t that one of the soldiers?>

Sure enough, one of the survivors of Spartacus’ rampage was kneeling at the top of the hill.

April (Cris): Hey! Hey you! Don’t fucking run, I’m talking to you!

The soldier had started, but before he made it to his feet we were already surrounding him. He was speaking too fast to translate at first, so I just pressed on.

April (Cris): Look, I get it if you don’t believe us, but we’re not gonna kill you.

April (Jeanne): We have traveled a long way because we heard something very, very bad was happening here. Please, can you tell us what is going on?

French Soldier: Oh, and what are the English going to do about it?! Insult her and run away?

Cris: <Apparently we can do a lot fucking more than your soldiers can.>

April (Jeanne): We have fought worse. Now, who is this “her”?

French Soldier: You’ve fought worse than Jeanne d’Arc? Hah! Unlikely!

Mash: Jeanne d’Arc? She should be dead by this point!

French Soldier: That is the worst part, she is! She was dead for three days, when the Saint of Orleans appeared out of nowhere and started razing all of France to the ground. She’s been tearing around with an Army of monsters for days now! Even King Charles couldn’t stand up to her!

April (Jeanne): Thank you. We will figure out a way to stop this, I promise.

By the time we got closer to the ruined fort, whatever had caused so much damage had long since disappeared. However, I could still make out faint traces of enchantment on some of the bodies scattered around the field.

April (Jeanne): Roman, I'm noticing something off about this corpse. What do you make of it?

Mash: Senpai, we really should get out of the open while there’s still daylight.

April (Jeanne): Give Roman a second, Mash. I'm sure there's something off about it.

Roman: Huh. Good catch, April. This body had been treated for necromancy. Large-scale necromancy is certainly rare, but it’s still possible with or without a holy grail. Either way, it’s good to have an idea of what we’re up against.

We entered the keep. Walking around was a nightmare, it was as if every square inch of space was taken up by the injured. Their groans echoed through the fort. Suddenly, I felt something on the edge of my scanning area. It was faint, but unmistakable. A spirit origin.

April (Jeanne): Mash, do you feel that?

Mash: Barely. There must be a servant outside the castle.

April (Jeanne): No, about thirty feet in that direction. Does anyone catch your eye?

Mash: There���s no one there who could be a servant, Master.

Cris: <This is pointless, let me look.>

Kat: <No way! You got to yell at the guy, lemme look, lemme look!>

Yay, I won! I turned where Jeanne was pointing. The whole place was just beat up soldiers & less beat up soldiers taking care of them. Oh, there’s one! A little girl is going around comforting people as they fall asleep!

April (Kat): What about that little girl? The one dressed in all white? Can she be a servant?

Roman: That’s not likely. Servants are invariably summoned at the “peak” of their myth. It’s possible for child prodigies to be summoned young, but the vast majority will either be young adults when they are most powerful, or at old age when they are most skilled. You guys should get some rest while you can. I’ve detected a leyline a day’s travel from here, you should set out in the morning.

We found a spot near a wall and curled up to sleep. I don’t remember much of my dreams, but when I woke up it was still dark. That girl was still tiptoeing around the soldiers, and every now and then I caught her singing, at barely above a whisper.

That was weird enough, but then something amazing happened! The soldier she was standing next to, his wounds suddenly shrank, until it was like he never got hurt at all! He shifted in his sleep, and she moved on to the next one.

April (Kat): (I knew it!)

I pulled myself out of our pile as slow as possible, and inched closer to her.

April (Kat): Excuse me?

Little Girl: Hello miss. (Please keep your voice down, people are sleeping!)

April (Kat): (Oh, sorry! This might sound weird, but… are you a servant?)

Little Girl: (I am a faithful servant of God, yes. Is something wrong?)

April (Kat): (That’s not exactly what I meant. I mean are you human?)

A strange look crossed the girls face.

Little Girl: (I was. Let’s talk outside.)

She led me by the hand out of the castle. She had such a strong grip, it was kinda awkward! Once we were a bit away, she turned to face me. Suddenly, a spear covered in flags appeared out of nowhere and landed in her hands!

Little Girl: As you have guessed, I am indeed a Servant, Lancer class. My true name is Jeanne d’Arc.

[aphroditestummyrolls]

okay okay, i'm super curious about the "The Big Porn™️" and the "sleeping" for your tog wips and the "have you heard?!" and "a moment's peace" for spartacus!!! 👀👀

HELLO FRIEND! I’m using this to procrastinate Gaining Heart Chapter five! 💕👍🏻

Okay— The Big Porn™️ is an old Joe/Nicky piece (I mean... all my tog stuff is Joe/Nicky, but I digress). I have a Return to Malta series called To Be At Home, and it follows a loose theme of times throughout the day (they don’t all take place on the same day hahaha it’s more like The Vibes suit each time of day). Feed My Soul is in the morning/daytime, Kissed by an Angel is in the late afternoon, and All the Time in the World is in the sunset/evening. The Big Porn™️ is the nighttime component. It’s LONG. And unlike all the other pieces in the series, which are focused on lavishing Joe with affection, THIS is about Nicky. I write a lot of bottom!joe, but this is bottom!nicky, and it’s hinted at in a piece I wrote called Waking Dreams! 👀 Sleeping is a oneshot of Joe/Nicky in the early days. Nicky watching joe sleep when he’s just discovering his love for him. I wrote it a long time ago, and it was about halfway done when the discourse train fired up. I abandoned it because I lost faith in my ability to write early Joe/Nicky. Here’s a little snippet, though ❤️ maybe I will finish and post it one day!

Yusuf always slept while Nicolo took the first watch. Always.

When they had first journeyed out together— beyond enemies, but not quite friends— it had been a bone of contention. Yusuf had huffed, grumbling about Nicolo needing rest too, and the equality in switching on and off between who took first or second watch. Nicolo insisted that he was accustomed to unorthodox resting habits, that he was a light sleeper, more likely to be ready to fight. Yusuf slept like a bear, he said. He had tried to wake him up enough times to know.

That was the reasoning he kept to, still. Even after all these years. Even if it wasn’t quite true anymore.

It wasn’t as if it was a lie. Nicolo did sleep rarely and lightly, and Yusuf did sleep as if practicing to outlast the winter— but somewhere along the line between penance and some, more individual type of care, Nicolò found that he watched his companion more than he watched the shadows.

Have YOU HEARD?!? (That’s literally how I wrote it) is an Anastasia au for Nagron. I don’t know if it’ll ever get written, but it’s near and dear to my heart 💕 Scrappy little urchin Nasir with amnesia, unaware of his lineage and getting by in the streets of St. Petersburg with sex work and house work and any other type of work; Agron and Duro are a pair of German con men who keep getting stuck behind the Russian border every time they try to leave. They end up befriending a trio of defecting soldiers— Spartacus, Gannicus, and one who had once been close to the Royal family (Crixus). Agron can’t resist a good con, and when he hears the story of the lost prince, they make a plan to get them out of Russia, and a TON of money for their travels. Enter Nasir. And he and Agron falling in love on the way to Paris, while Nasir starts slowly recovering his memories and all of them realizing he truly *is* the lost prince. Annnnnnd A Moment’s Peace. This is my background idea for why Nasir would have accompanied his Dominus to the mines (because like, WHY??). It’s a very sad story, that he tells to Naevia in a quiet moment where they first forge a real friendship. It’s overheard by Crixus and Spartacus, and it’s from Spartacus POV.

“Sleep evades you as well?” His voice was gentle as he spoke, and Naevia’s shadow turned head to look at him.

Her breath trembled, and she only nodded woodenly. “How fares your wound?”

He shrugged, “Nearly healed— thanks to you, and the others.”

“You’d never have received it if not for me,” was only reply. Naevia’s outline held a fine tremble, her hands clutching at the step between them.

“A mistake I’d happily repeat, even to my death.”

“You admit it was mistake, though?” Naevia’s voice was tight. Crixus’ body seemed to tighten along with it, his teeth grinding almost audibly.

Nasir’s shadow only shrugged again, “Tactically, logically—yes. But, your presence is a blessing from the gods, and a testament to your strength.” From the lips of any other it may have sounded disingenuous, but Nasir was not. He shone in the light of the moon, fixing his dark gaze on Naevia. “Even knowing the mission was certain death, I couldn’t leave you in that place.”

“I am a stranger to you, Nasir.” She scoffed roughly, but it sounded only like a sob, “What would you know of my strength?”

Thanks for the questions! It’s been a while since I popped in on these pieces. It feels good to share about them, even if they never get posted in full ❤️

[thedevilinmybrain]

 ✨ Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

i was tagged by the absolute darling kay @holyshit​ thanks bb!

i’m going to tag these lovely people if they want: @polaroidlouis @justalarryblog @hershelsue @foreverfanficaddict @vintageumbroshirt @tomlinbuns @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @harrystinyshorts @cowboylarries

MUSIC

fav genre?     um, probably pop punk or like punk rock?

fav artist?     oh um, i’m not sure if i have a favorite? probably the one i’ve been most invested in for the past few years would be deftones.

fav song?     tears in the rain - the weeknd

most listened song recently? there you are - zayn (it’s literally so good and like so romantic? helloooo?) or snuff by slipknot.

song currently stuck in your head? probably always toto by africa

5 fav lyrics?    I’m going to pick ones that always catch me off guard by how much they make me feel? You're just a sad song with nothing to say about a life long wait for a hospital stay. And if you think that I'm wrong, This never meant nothing to ya - Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance Inside of this all you create You hide from yourself You separate every belief That is true and you spend your life Attached to this poison You don't feel anything out of the way And its true that You spend your life trapped in this void Where you will stay always - Phantom Bride by Deftones I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones - Control by Halsey There's a future in my life I can't foresee, Unless, of course, I stay on course and keep you next to me. There will always be the kind that criticize, but I know, yes, I know, we'll be alright. - Ready to Run by One Direction Forget the poems of saints and ghosts I'm the one I fear the most Little did I know that I was only crying wolf - What's Wrong by PVRIS

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands     | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast     songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or     headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music |     driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre?     horror! though, i am a secret sucker for historical fantasy

fav writer?     chuck palahniuk (don’t come at me)

fav book?     i’m not really sure?

fav book series?     the raven cycle! or the foxhole court!

comfort book?     picture of dorian gray

perfect book to read on a rainy day? maybe the great and terrible beauty series? i really liked that one

fav characters?     ronan lynch (my irish baby), andrew minyard (my angry baby), kaz brekker (my other angry baby), gemma doyle (my magical baby)

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? “It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it.” ― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court “The approval of someone like him, who clearly cared for no one, seemed like it would be worth more.” ― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys “I suppose sooner or later in the life of everyone comes a moment of trial. We all of us have our particular devil who rides us and torments us, and we must give battle in the end.” ― Daphne Du Maurier, Rebecca “Chiron had said once that nations were the most foolish of mortal inventions. "No man is worth more than another, wherever he is from.” ― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles “You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray 

hardcover     or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series     | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the     day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while     reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading     the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism     or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by     the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre?     it’s horror. it’s always going to be horror.

fav movie?     the lost boys

comfort movie? constantine

movie you watch every year? practical magic, grave encounters

fav tv show? um, i feel like i have to say spartacus but i don’t really watch television.

comfort tv show?   do cartoon count? cause probably adventure time

most rewatched tv show? i’m going to say buzzfeed unsolved

ultimate otp?     nagron from spartacus

5 fav characters? um, i guess, agron (spartacus), alec lightwood (shadow hunters), michael (roswell the new one), buffy (buffy), and i’m going to say lsp from adventure time cause i can’t think of anyone else

tv shows     or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22     episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple     seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long     episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching     just once | downloads or watches online

[watchathon]

Book 3, Chapter 2: The Headband

In case you’re finding this post just by browsing the tags I’ve used for this post, this is the Watchathon, a blog where I’m hoping to watch an episode of a TV show every weekday, with a short blog post where I write down my thoughts as I watch. Each new thought starts with a hyphen and a bolded first word.

- Like so. Now that the introductions are over with, here’s my thoughts on The Headband:

- So, my sister walked into my room just as the episode was starting, when Zuko was in his bed with his eyes closed. I whispered to her “Shh, be quiet, Zuko is sleeping. Or be as loud you like, I’m pretty sure he’s a heavy sleeper.” Then, even though she knew I was joking, she actually did speak quietly until she left. Just a little funny story there.

- I’m guessing it’s the prison that Zuko walked over to. I wonder if he was considering talking to his uncle?

- I honestly forgot about how Aang could use Airbending and Waterbending to make clouds. Pretty clever to use it as a disguise while they’re in the Fire Nation.

- I never thought that Katara would be so eager about stealing a disguise... Though, I can’t really blame her, these are some nice-looking clothes, they need a disguise to help their survival...

- And also Aang after a second to think it over.

- I like how the Gaang’s finding a disguise is treated like hasty clothes shopping.

- I like when Aang shows that he’s from a century ago. In this case, outdated ideas of what would help him to blend in at the Fire Nation.

- Feels kinda weird to see Aang in a classroom.

- On Ji’s real sweet. One of those character where I understand why she’s a one shot, but I do wish she could’ve made a return at some point, even just as a cameo.

- I like how Aang is so nice to even the bully character.

- I’ll never get sick of Sokka’s OTT reactions to Aang’s latest antics.

- I guess I was right on the money with where Zuko was heading, and why he was heading there. Getting into spoiler stuff, but this hits different knowing that Iroh isn’t at all angry at Zuko, just sad that he decided his honor was that much more important to him than his uncle.

- I like scenes like this where a student ends up knowing more about a topic than the teacher. It’s a fun way of showing a character’s intelligence, or (like in this case) that they have knowledge almost no one else has.

- I didn’t think that the Fire Nation would be anti-dancing... In a few centuries, are they gonna have Marching In Place Quietly With The Stars?

- Finally we’ve reached the scene that autoplays as a preview every time I’m about to select Avatar on Netflix.

- Y’know, it just occurred to me... I don’t think we’ve gotten the bully’s name yet. Should I just call him Nameless Bully?

- Ah, and here we see the first appearance of Avatar: The Last Airbender’s true hero: Wang Fire! A warrior so awesome that they had no choice but to reduce his screentime just so he wouldn’t overshadow our “hErO” Aang.

- But let us not forget to honor his kind and gracious wife Sapphire Fire, as radiant and brilliant as the gemstone she was named after!

- Part of me’s worried that I could take this schtick too far... But most of me is wondering, is that even possible?

- The scariest thing about Azula is that no matter what she says or does, you just know there’s some kind of ulterior motive behind it. But you can almost never figure it out immediately.

- The greatest tool of revolution: Secret dance parties!

- I like this scene of Aang teaching the Fire Nation kids about dancing, and the way that their ancestors danced a century ago.

- I wonder if Iroh had hope for a second that Zuko had changed, only to have that hope dashed once it became apparent that Zuko was only worried about what would happen if Aang survived.

- And Aang even taught the Fire Nation kids an Earth Kingdom dance! Maybe this dance party will make a change to how these kids see the world, even if it’s a small change.

- Dancing is not just frowned upon in the Fire Nation, it’s a criminal offense!

- So that’s his name: Hide! 

- I like the “I Am Spartacus” moment with the schoolkids covering for Aang. It’s really nice and wholesome.

- I’ve gotta wonder what these kids’ reactions will be when the mysterious kid who introduced them to dancing and then disappeared without a trace turns out to be the Avatar?

- And we end on an early bird cameo of Combustion Man.

[stargazerdaisy]

Well that was awkward-Lucy and Nolan’s breakup!! But Jackson got over some of his fear!! And I love that they all refused to say anything about their TOs!! And I hope we meet Wallace again at some point!

Look at my babies, all grown up and off to arrest people.  I loved the I Am Spartacus moment with the rookies.  I think that gave them the true insight into their TOs that Grey was trying to inspire.   And oh Wallace.  He was a sweetheart.  I really appreciated what he had to say to Jackson, very wise words for him.   As for Lucy and Nolan, their breakup was not an easy one, despite them both being on the same page about it.  Poor dears.  I don’t envy them even while I am breathing a sigh of relief.

[tortoisesshells]

Jedediah “Problematic Morphine Cupcake” Foster

hello, mysterious friend!

1. Oh, love, definitely. A true problematic fave.

2.  Toss-up: is it his intelligence? his respect for and growing friendship with Samuel Diggs? or is it his post-1x04 love and respect for Mary Phinney? neither/none it’s clearly his extensive collection of amazing waistcoats give me the name of your tailor jedidiah thurmond foster. Honestly, it’s probably the latter two for me - especially because it represents a kind of humility and willingness to change we didn’t see much evidence of before, and because it demonstrates he, at heart, has excellent taste and is capable of making the difficult, self-mortifying choice to be vulnerable and be kind and admit he was wrong before. 

3. OH WOW. uh. ... all of Mercy Street? If I had to pick. Wait, no, come back to me.

4. The brainyness, for sure.

3a. it might be the absolute disaster of “is every dying soldier a chance to save your dead husband” because OUCH.

3b. no, it’s definitely “A better world is coming.” / “And I promise you, Mary Phinney, you shall be here to see it.”

5. “Hoopskirt Assassin” and the whole scene with Emma and Tom.

6. MARY PHINNEY. and, as with Emma Green, Character Development.

[...]

3c. his S2 begrudging friendship with Byron Hale? the I Am Spartacus moment with Hale and Diggs in McBurney’s office? how flustered he seems when Samuel tells him that he’s changed, and he’s glad to see it? I’m going to be here a while.

send me a character and i’ll ramble about them!

[fuwafuwamedb]

Soulmates AU

What the hell?

Gudako rubbed at her hand, frowning at the mark that was there.

It was a little weird, seeing new symbols on her hands. It was kind of like Solomon’s tattoos now that she was looking a little closer.

How funny was that?

She moved into the lounge area, settling onto one of the couches and scratching at the mark.

Her phone buzzed quietly, making her pause to listen.

“Gudako!” Mash was on the other end of the line, “We’ve got a problem!”

“Oh yeah? Did Spartacus escape again?”

She’d told the man that he needed to stay in his area of Chaldea. He was too prone to trying to harass the kids. He wanted to play, but he was a bit violent. Kingprotea had been a blessing for that reason. Her and Bunyan.

“No, it’s one of the workers here. They got dumped.”

“Yeah? How does that equate to a problem?”

What the hell was this mark made of, she thought. Gudako licked her finger, rubbing at the mark now.

“The man did a spell with Merlin’s staff to make all soulmates share markings.”

Oh.

Well.

“That’s awkward.”

“It is.”

“Out of curiosity, what’s your mark look like?”

“Gudako, let’s not worry about th-“

“OH MY GOD!” Gudako sat up, grinning. “This means that Hakuno and the others will have marks too!”

She was hanging up now. She needed to see this.

It was obvious that Hakuno and Gilgamesh were either meant for one another or were a nightmare of circumstances to be bound together.

She had to-

“What do you mean they look the same?”

“They look the same.”

Gudako paused, watching Ishtar, the Cus, and Emiya stare at their palms. The same sun shaped mark was on their palms. They looked at one another, Ishtar gasping as she looked over them all.

“Wait… I get all of you?!”

“Or there were too many Cu Chulainns that fate couldn’t figure out what was going on and just gave him a few soulmates.” Emiya rolled his eyes. “What a stupid concept.”

“So upset,” Caster was pulling off his jacket, moving in closer to the man. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a Celt before.”

Oh boy.

Gudako quickened her pace.

“What is this?”

“What’s going on?”

Servants were leaving their rooms. Atalanta and Achilles were staring at their hands together.

“You have soulmate marks, everyone!” Gudako moved down the hall, telling them all on the way. “If you find someone with the mark here, please don’t be surprised-“

“I will not,” Ozymandias told her simply.

“Hmm?”

“Only my Nefertari would have the mark.” He turned to go back into his room.

The other servants were complaining that soulmates weren’t existing. They were arguing with her, but not the pharaoh.

The wise man was heading into his room, picking up one of the sphinxes as he went.

Bless someone having rationale.

“Hakuno!”

Gudako pounded on Archer’s bedroom door, sliding it open only to find the woman sitting next to Archer. Their arms were side by side.

The red markings that were over Gil’s person were running down his arm. They were also running along Hakuno’s person now.

“Gudako? What are you doing here?”

She was trying to cover herself up, the red marks along her body matching Gilgamesh’s to the letter.

Gudako laughed. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“Do you know something about these markings?” Gilgamesh growled.

“Soulmate markings. One of the faculty members was dumped and decided to test fate by making fate reveal soulmates. We’ve been uncovering soulmates in Chaldea,” Gudako told them proudly.

“Soulmates?”

“The one you’re meant to be with?” Gudako raised a brow at him. “You know, like someone that is meant to be your other half, the one that makes you happiest and that you love whether or not you can help it?”

Gilgamesh stared at her, scowling.

Hakuno held Gil’s shirt tighter around herself, glancing over at him.

“You’re sure he didn’t just do-“

“It’s been too obvious,” Gudako argued. “I wanted to see who would be meant for Hakuno. After all, she’s been so helpful all this time. She’s been so great about helping and doing her part and being so nice to all the-“

“Gudako?” Hakuno looked over at her, “Can you give Gil and I a minute?”

“Ah, sure.”

She motioned for them to continue.

“Alone?”

“Fine, fine.” Gudako moved to the hall, snapping her fingers at one of the casters nearby. The made the wall a one way mirror and removed the soundproofing.

She had to see.

Hakuno was pressing a hand to her face, blushing hard.

“There’s no such thing as soulmates,” Gilgamesh told her.

“Gil-“

“Hakuno, why wouldn’t you have been born in my time if that was true?”

“You had Ishtar tell you that there was no woman for you in your time, didn’t you?”

Gilgamesh paused, frowning.

“…The others on the Moon Cell said that I shouldn’t have been able to summon you either.”

“Hakuno-“

“What do I even do with a soulmate?” She looked over at him, frowning.

“…We don’t need to do anything.”

“Gil, I’m stuck with marks over my whole body that say that I’m yours.”

Oh, but he liked that. Gudako could feel her hand going to her mouth at that. A few of the other servants were bringing seats and popcorn over.

Yeah. Classic drama from Gilgamesh.

Merlin sat next to her, sipping at a drink as they watched in a group.

“You were already walking around with every indication of being mine,” Gilgamesh told her. “Plain and average as you are-“

“Don’t go into that right now, Gil. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I am telling you my thoughts. Do not interrupt!”

“And I’m telling you that I’m not sure what to think of the universe calling me your soulmate.”

“Are you ashamed of that fact?”

“He sounds mad,” Merlin whispered.

“Yeah he does,” Gudako whispered back, taking another handful of popcorn.

Hakuno groaned, moving to stand up. They got a nice few of her ass as she turned to face him.

“I’m not ashamed of the fact, I just know that you don’t settle. You prefer blondes, Gil. I’ve seen it. I know better than to think-“

“Do not think to know my preferences!”

“I don’t have to! It’s obvious!”

“Hakuno,” he was almost hissing.

She turned to head for the door, but the man yanked her in closer.

Oh, but he slammed his mouth to hers. The woman mewled in his arms, faltering.The black button up was drowning her, but they saw one of his hands slipping down to pull it from her shoulders.

She was shrugging it off as their lips parted, a soft, hesitant look on her face said that they were in a moment. They were in one hell of a private moment.

The wall fogged back up into his original state. The sound from the other room was gone.

“Okay!” Merlin clapped his hands. “Let’s not get killed by the king of heroes today. I’m going to go find the kid that stole my staff and get it back. That was fun, everyone.”

“Do you think I can find my soulmate before you do that,” Gudako asked.

“Why? It’s obvious who it is, don’t you think?”

The magician winked at her before turning away.

[thereviewbait]

The Witcher Review: GOT and Your Next Move

Is Witcher the new Game of Thrones? A question that has been going around the internet since the Netflix original series, The Witcher came out in 2019. This review, here, will answer this question and more. So, let's get started. Overview Adapted from The Witcher book series by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski, the series follows the lives and journey of its three protagonists-- Geralt of Rivia (a witcher), Yennefer of Vengerberg (a witch), and Princess Cirilla of Cintra. Of the three, Geralt and Cirilla are linked by destiny and the law of surprise. The backdrop of The Witcher is set in a fictional landmass inspired by the medieval era known as "the Continent." Image Source: https://gph.is/g/a91WQ58

Consisting of 8 episodes, the series introduces the three protagonists, including their formative events leading to the present timeline and situation. Season 1 of the Netflix original series follows the events in the book series' first two installments-- The Last Wish and The Sword of Destiny, a couple of short story collections that merely introduce the characters. The main plot arc will most likely start in The Witcher season 2.

Review

Not just The Witcher

One thing that everyone who has watched The Witcher agrees on is how confusing the timeline of the series can be, which had the viewers scrambling for explanations of the second episode. The reason for this confusion is how the series follows the journey of the three protagonists simultaneously while also following the present timeline. However, this way of direction is what I loved the most about the show. Despite being based on the book series, the Netflix original series gives a 3-D perspective of the three characters involved as opposed to the fixed focus on Geralt in the books. 

Enhances the book plot Another thing to love about the series is how, despite certain deviations, the crux of the story has remained true to The Witcher book series. There are only a few book adaptations out there that have retained the essence of the original story, much less enhance it with key changes. 

 True to The Witcher book series

Now, Netflix had almost turned The Witcher into a movie (Thank the lord, they did not), but chose to go with a series. Even within the scope of the series, they could have chosen to start from the official first book, Blood of Elves, instead, the showrunner Lauren Schmidt Hissrich chose to follow the reading order of the book series. The approach and the fact that Andrzej Sapkowski was part of the creative team gives the show brownie points over other book adaptations and is a testament to why the Netflix series is so good. 

 Catchy tunes Image Source: https://tenor.com/be7WH.gif While we are at it, might I add just how catchy Jaskier's songs are?! Toss a coin to your witcher had me sing along with the bard and even refrain from immediately going to the next episode, skipping the credits (that is a feat as far as Netflix viewers are concerned). I don't know about you, but the rest of the songs in the Netflix original series had the same effect on me, as well.

Fitting casting This The Witcher review is incomplete without mentioning the great casting. As I read the book series, someone like Henry Cavill is what came to my head, and the book cover only drives the point to the head. Don't persecute me, but I strongly feel that Cavill is better suited to be Geralt than superman (truthfully, I never really liked him as the superman). Anya Chalotra embodies the essence of Yennefer like a second skin, and I can't wait to see more of her in The Witcher season 2. I am waiting for the moment when Cirilla and Yennefer interact (no, I am not pitching the two against one another. Or am I?)

Speaking of Cirilla, Freya Allan has done a wonderful job of expressing the princess's difficulty in trusting others after her great loss. The part where Cirilla was possessed was quite creepy in a series that showcases monstrous creatures. The lion cub of Cintra and Geralt of Rivia have met and now I want to know what is next in the Netflix original series.

 What Next?

If you have already finished watching the series, like most Netflix users, and are waiting for The Witcher season 2 to come out, I have news for you. Shooting for the second season was scheduled to have started early this year, with the next season coming out in 2021. With the current pandemic, the chances of a delay are high. Now, that is a long wait. Fortunately, I have got you covered with options for what you can do after finishing season one. 

Read The Witcher book series:

If you are adamant about exploring further about the world of The Witcher, then I recommend you to give the book series a try. Doing so would enrich your viewing experience when the next season comes out. Moreover, you will have the fun of comparing the book to the series. 

Watch similar movies or series:

Netflix is home to quite a few series that are similar to The Witcher like Viking and Merlin. Aside from these, Spartacus, Game of Thrones, and The Last Kingdom are some of the series you can watch.

The Hexer movie and series:

Before Netflix, the Polish had already adapted The Witcher book series into a movie and series, The Hexer.

Play the games:

The book series has a trilogy of video games that fans can play to continue to experience the world of The Witcher. These games are The Witcher, The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings, and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.   The Witcher vs Game of Thrones 

https://www.polygon.com/game-of-thrones/2019/5/19/18631713/game-of-thrones-prequel-new-show-cast-story-release-date-hbo

 So after The Witcher review, it is time to answer the question-- Is Witcher the new Game of Thrones? The short answer is not yet. With only one season out and another in production, it is quite early to consider The Witcher as a substitution for the widely popular Game of Thrones (GOT). However, both have similarities that cannot be denied. The two are adaptations of fantasy book series with a fictional medieval era-inspired setting. Another similarity is between Cirilla and Khaleesi; both are descendants of rulers who were despised by their subjects (for very different reasons). The Netflix original show even has an element of incest, however fleeting, like GOT. For now, we can only conclude that they are similar, but not quite.   So, what do you think of The Witcher? Which of the four options above are you going to try after finishing the first season? Let me know in the comments below!

[theculturedmarxist]

You might be worried about the future and yes, you should be. There’s quite a bit worth worrying over.

No one is coming to save us. No one is coming to save you.

But the more you worry, the more you should reach out. 

No one is coming to save us. No one us coming to save you.

So many slumber still, but that slumber is restless yet. Pain gnaws us. The agony grows by the day.

The only way we can survive, the only way we will survive, is if we work together towards the future we want, we need, we deserve, all of us, together.

Cooperation defeats competition.

Solidarity defeats solitarity.

Communism defeats isolationism.

No one is coming to save us, because we are the ones that we’ve been waiting for. No savior is coming because we have no need of one. Only in our dreams does the white knight sally forth.

We have the ability, and we have the will. We have more than desire, but need, if not for ourselves alone, then for those others that are integral components of that which what we call “ourselves.” There is no, and there can be no “me” without “we.” We are beyond need! The historical moment grows ripe, and it is ours to reach out and pluck it!

No one is coming to save us, because we are already here. We are the ones that are necessary. We are the ones that we’ve been waiting for. The fool in you, the one that has been cultivated all your life by the people that hate you, despise you, detest you, that fool will say “but I’m not ready. I’m not prepared. I’m not suited to the task.” Alas for the fool in us. We wish to believe. Believing is so much easier.

But of course you aren’t. No one is. That is what makes we so much more able, so much greater, than me. I am feeble. I am weak. I am foolish, unprepared, ignorant, stupid, rash, myopic.

It’s only when I becomes we that true strength, true ability, true genius is achieved. How sweet the palliative of Individualism! No pain can come to the island, the mountain, standing alone! Hercules, Samson, Cu Chulainn—their strength diminishes in the presence of the other. Yet their myths are not our own. Ours is Spartacus, Bodicea, Liu Bei, the arrow-shafts that are only truly strong when bound together. We’ve been taught to think ourselves weak because we cannot stand alone. What chair relies solely on one leg? What house is built on a foundation of only one corner? Who has been born only of sperm or egg alone?

This is the truth: that doom approaches with every quiver of the clock-face. The living dream doesn’t last forever. Already the dreamer anxiously gnaws the pillow. When he wakes he will consume us all piecemeal, if we let him. All he dreams of is the feast. All he imagines is plenty. An insatiable appetite awaits us at the cock’s call, voracity to gorge itself for consumption’s sake. Slaughter. Butchery. The swing of the axe; the stillness of the abattoir.

Plead as you like, he will not hear you. Beg as you please, you’ll find no succor. Grovel like a toad, no mercy will move his heart to spare you.

No one is coming to save us, because we are the ones that we’ve been waiting for. No one is coming to save you, because only you are able. There is no spectral they to ride to the rescue, only we, which were, which are, which shall be!

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for—asleep no more, but very wide awake!

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S3E13

Cue all the “Face/Off” jokes for this arc.  All of them.

The rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order.  They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized. 

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*both immediately start fawning over Smol Bruce in the Netflix thumbnail*

“Previously on Gotham...”  Some bullshit.

SOME BS!

“What you call sanity... it’s just a prison in your minds.”  That is such an edgelord line, Oh my God!

*snaps fingers along with "Papa Oom Mow Mow” by Gary Glitter*

Why are they sampling “Elvira”?

AN:  “Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys actually sampled this song.  This version of the song is a cover and the original is by the Beach Boys.

“Three nines, and joker’s wild.”  *rolls eyes*

*sarcastically*  Geez, I wonder whose episode it is...

*laughs*

[Dwight appears]  *in best Christian Bale Batman voice*  Schmiff!  Thomas Schmiff!  He’s a paranoid schizophrenic from Arkham!

*starts mouthing along with song*

What just happened? 

They had to get in.

Yeah, I know, but how did that guy suddenly switch over to their side?

He was working for them the whole time.

OK.

*Dwight starts maniacally laughing once he finds Jerome’s body*  Oh damn... that’s a damn good laugh.

That is a really good laugh

*jams along with opening theme*

Does it open up with them stealing the body?  That better be where it opens up.

Yeah, it’s when they steal the body.

*smiles*

*Jim and Harvey find the empty vessel covered with the symbol*  Oh what the shit...

That's their little cult symbol.  Which has been popping up since a few episodes after Jerome’s death in S2, and you see that everywhere and you go “Wait a minute!”

*smiles when Lucius appears*

Is he security for Arkham or what?

No, he’s R & E.  Yeah, he still works for Wayne-

Ohhh OK...

-but he's like back up for Lee at the GCPD.

Oh OK.

And I’m like “Wait?  You’re also an ME?”  Everybody can be an ME in this show!

Everybody’s got like 15 different conflicts of interest on this show.

I know.

Nobody should be allowed to investigate anything.

*chuckles*

Where the hell are we?

That’s Wayne Manor.

I know that actor [who plays Cole] somewhere!  I know that voice!

I don’t know that actor.

AN:  He’s played by P.J. Marshall, who was in “Luke Cage” and was the cop that always got on Kit Darling in the first half or so of “American Horror Story:  Freak Show”

Alfred looks like he’s ready to punch a bitch.  *laughs*

He looks like he’s about to lay that guy the hell out.

I know.

And they established in the last episode that they [Bruce and Alfred] really like Selina and her mom coming back together.

Ohhh OK.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  I [Cole] would never hurt a woman.”  *both give a dubious look*

“However, I [Cole] would feel justified in giving the police enough evidence so that your little girlfriend [Selina] could only talk to her mama every other Thursday through a screen for the next 40 years.”  Go to hell, dude.

*whispers*  He’s [Bruce] so much Batman!

“So, you [Bruce] give Maria the money, she gives it to me; I’m [Cole] out of your lives.  Cash, obviously.”  The only thing you’re owed, dude, is a bullet between the eyes.

Now see, look at this pose [of Bruce thinking in his chair].  Look at that pose.  Oh my gosh, that’s a Michael Keaton pose!

That is!

Oh my gosh...

“He [the cult follower Jim and Harvey arrested] should have been taken to a hospital.”  Oh yeah, and Jim and Lee are like *imitates two cats fighting each other while aggressively clashing hands together*

Why wasn’t he taken to a hospital?!?

“James Gordon.  The James Gordon.... wow.  It’s actually you.”  You sure know how to pick ‘em, Dwight.

Y’know, these extras playing the cult members must be having the time of their lives.  It’s like “Yeah!  We get to wear crazy hair and outfits!“

Oh yeah.  They’re gonna be like chewing the scenery within an inch of its life.

Oh yeah!

Look at that dude’s crazy eyes though!

I know!  He could have played Renfield in “Dracula”

I know.

*Dwight sets up his workshop with another cult member*  Looks like Rufio fell on hard times.

*Dwight strokes Jerome’s cheek*  Don’t do thaaattt....

Ohhhh my God.... LIFE!  LIFE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!?  GIVE MY CREATION LIFE!

LIIIIIIFFFFEEEEEE!!!

*both laugh*

*Dwight laughs*  Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...

GOD HE’S [Dwight] JUST HAVING SO MUCH FUN!  *laughs*

You know they’re getting paid like really well.

Oh I’m sure!

“’Unsurprisingly, there have already been calls "for the mayor's resignation. "The clearly disturbed Mayor Cobblepot-’”  ‘Clearly disturbed?’  HOW LONG did it take you to realize that?

“Mayor Crumblepot.”  *stifles a laugh*

“Is Ed here?”  *rolls eyes*

“Who cares what people think of the mayor?  The city runs itself.”  *chuckles*

You’re a dumbass!

“[Oswald] So get up, take a shower, do that disco vampire thing thing with your hair.”  *both crack up*

“[Barbara] Why are you helping me?”  Because you’re a walking garbage fire, Oswald, who needs all the help you can get.

*laughs*  Yes!

Get your priorities in order, Oswald.

*claps hands*  Duuuuuudde....

His [Bruce] voice is so deep and he’s such a smol bab!

I knowww!  I don’t know how old David is when they filmed this.  I think he’s like 16 or 17.

He’s a smol bab!

“Maybe they [the cult symbols] were here the whole time and we just didn’t notice..”   That’s probably a safe bet.

I’m pretty sure that’s the No Man’s Land map that they’re [Lucius is] using.

Niicee...

“That amount-”  “Would cause a power surge in the electric grid.”  “...I [Harvey] was about to say that would cause a power surge in the electric grid...”  *chuckles*

*chuckles*  Sure you were, Harvey.

“I’ll just... stay here... if that’s OK.”  Lucius, you’re amazing.

Feels like he’s the only person right now at the GCPD, besides Harvey, who has any common sense.

He’s great! 

Because I’m starting to really question what kind of goblins are currently inhabiting James Gordon’s brain.

It’s Season 3, I’m sure there’s a lot.

“Try turning it on and off.”  “I [Dwight] did!  3 times.”  *both laugh*

He’s the IT guy.

*laughs*  Have you tried turning it on and off again?

*pauses when Dwight electrocutes a guy for interrupting him*

Jesus God!  Was that a cattle prod?!?  What was that?!?

I don’t know.  Cattle prods are long and skinny though.

The hell was that?!?

They’re kinda like a fly swatter.

*Dwight starts cutting off Jerome’s face*  :[

Aauuuugghhh... nooooooooooo, we’re not doing this.

The production design and set for this [Dwight’s lab] is pretty cool, I gotta say.

Uh, somebody put that wire out before it sets fire to the whole place.

Oh please God!

“Holy smokes, is that Jerome?“  No, it’s Jeremiah.  *laughs*

Yeah, and they took his face...

*in unison*  Off!

*both laugh*

‘Cause they wanted to take his face...

*in unison*  Off!

*both laugh*

I couldn’t not, I’m sorry!

“Brothers and sisters, I [Dwight] promised you Jerome would return...”  *sing songs*  And I brought you his faaaccee!!

But it’s...

*in unison*  Off!

*both freaking lose it*

“The Prophet is here.”  But it’s just his face!

[breathing unsteadily]  *thumbs up*  Great.

“We are all... Jerome.”  Don’t think that’s gonna be good enough.

*The crowd takes to calling themselves Jerome*  Oh, OK.

“You’re Jerome.  And you...”  *laughs*  And you’re Jerome!  And you’re Jerome!  And you’re Jerome!

Oh, c’mon!  They were going for the obvious “I am Spartacus.”

WE ARE JEROME!  We are Jerome and so’s my wife!

OK, that actually worked better than I thought.

If he [Jerome] just gets straight off that [Lee’s] examination table, I am gonna flip shit!

:]

*points and yells excitedly when Jerome’s hand twitches*

“So, let’s find out who the traitor is, shall we?”  Jesus God...

“Good bluff.”  “Thank you, sir.”  That was awesome!

*softly*  I know...

And that was a bluff?!?

Yeah, there’s moments like that where it’s like “Man, Jim!  You’re a badass!” 

*chuckles*

*both chuckle when Barbara dramatically puts a hand to her chest*

“They don’t respect you, Oswald.  In fact, you probably want to kill Tommy Bones and the Duke.  Just clean house.”  *chuckles*

*both start to giggle when Oswald does*

“[Barbara] Do you really think I [Oswald] would be so easy to manipulate?”  YES!

YES!

YES!

YES YOU WERE!

YES!

You are not nearly as clever as you think you are, Oswald!  You are the Cersei Lannister of Gotham City!  You were down on the count for God knows how long.

For like an episode.

A lot happens in an episode!

True.  In the span of like 5 minutes probably.  I dunno, maybe like 10 or 15.

*shakes head*

“Your day is done, freak.”  *raises eyebrows in surprise*

“Then Nygma dies.”  “What?!?”  “Walk away quiet.  Maybe we’ll send him back in one piece.  We’ll even let you [Oswald] keep being mayor.”  *shakes head*  Hey look, you are that easy to manipulate.

Can we like take a shot every time Penguin goes into rage spitting mode?

Yeaaahhhh!!

Oh my gosh.  Take a shot!

See, Barbara just played you [Oswald] like a freaking fiddle, dude.

I’m sorry... the schadenfraude of it all.

*both end up discussing the correct pronunciation of ‘schadenfraude’

*mutters*  Freaking Germans...

*laughs*

I’m German [descent], I can make fun of myself.

He’s [the mole] doing a Batman voice.

“No one ever stops being a cop.  You [the mole] were here when Jerome and the Maniax attacked.”  ‘Maniax?’  That’s what they’re calling themselves?

Well, Jerome and his little group [in the beginning of S2] were like *in best Jerome voice*  “We’re the Maniax!” and whatever.

‘Maniax,’ with an X.  Because edgy.

No one can spell!

*Jim decides to switch from good cop to bad cop on the mole*  Oooh!

*Jim punches the mole across the face*  Jesus God!

*both freeze in shock when Harvey takes over for punching*

OH MY GOD, Jim’s just like *puts hands on head*  “Oh my God...”

I don’t think you’re allowed to do thaaat...

I mean, they bring it up in the show.  There’s certain interrogation laws that you have to follow.

Yeah, manhandling a suspect is a no-no!

“Damn...”  Damn instead.

She’s [Lee] like “Yeah, whatever.”  STONE COLD!

“[Jim] Don’t touch me [Lee]!”  *so done*

“Really?  Did I [Lee] not just see Harvey punch him in the face?”  *finger guns at screen in agreement*

“[Jim] You brought a wounded suspect into the precinct instead of taking him to the hospital, because you wanted to interrogate him.”  *claps hands with each word*  GO OFF, LEE!

Yes!

“Look, you [Lee] want to blame me [Jim] for Mario’s death, that’s fine.”  *so done*

“But don’t let your hatred of me turn you into something you’re not.”  And plus the funeral for Mario was a few days ago.

*claps hands with each word*  It’s way too soon!  It’s way too soon for her to be back at work!

I’m like “Lee, no!”

*sings*  Take a break!

Like I said, all of her character development comes from people screwing her over.

I know!

“[Jim] Don’t ever touch me [Lee] again or tell me what to do.”  You know, it’s your fault, Jim.  This is entirely your fault.

Yeah. It is.

“We’ve got a show to do, people!  And, as you know, the show must go on.”  *starts singing “The Show Must Go On” from “Moulin Rouge”*

*Jerome surprises Lee from behind the door*  Oh Jesus.

It’s allliiiiivveeee!!

“Hey, maybe you’re [Jerome] dreaming.  Try shooting yourself.”  Pfftt!

“Nah!”  *both chuckle*

*mouths along with Jerome saying “Lunatics AND idiots?”*

“You know, I [Jerome] was just reborn.  Last year was nothing but darkness... as far as the eye could see.”  *softly*  God, you’re so edgy.

“Hey, did you and I ever, uh...”  *slightly disgusted, trying not to laugh*

*scoffs in hilarity*  Did he just use the gun-

Yeah, yeah he did.  *ends up giggling anyway*

Oh my God...

AN:  And it was totally improvised at the moment by Cameron.  Because OF COURSE HE DID.

AN:  Hi, welcome to my blog, where we have to keep kinkshaming Cameron Monaghan.

*both make loud disgusted noises when Jerome tries licking Lee*

“How’s it going between you [Lee] and Jimbo?”  It’s not.

“Oh that’s a shame.  I really liked you guys.”  *giggles into her sleeve*

Jerome shipped it.

*absolutely cracks up at Jerome’s reaction when Lee tells him about Jim killing Mario on her wedding night*

He’s like “Whhaat?!?”

Oh my God....

“I see your point.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Theo Galavan’s dead.”  *sighs*  For how long?

“Ohhhhh.... who beat me to it?”  “W-Which time?”  *giggles*

Oh just wait until you get into the regular Batman canon.  Death is gonna be about as permanent as a hiatus.

It always looked like it has rained in this city!

They should shoot in Seattle for now on.

Didn’t I tell you [Cole] to go to hell the last time, dude?

“Hey.... smile!”  No.

No!  Bullshit.

No.

“Selina!  Please... don’t.”  Yes.  Do!

*cracks up when the cult members write down Dwight’s speech on giant note cards for him to use*

“The cult will never follow you, Dwight.  I [Jim] saw you... at the theater?  You don’t have what it takes!”  Oh.  Really?

“Well, for the record, you’re doing one thing Jerome never did:  boring me.”  *both lean back in shock*

Whoooooooooo hooo hoooooo!!

Daaammn!  That was pretty great.

Ohhh my God!

See, James, when you’re not being a complete dumbass-

He’s amazing!  He’s great!

“We’ve [Barbara and Tabitha] got Option A:  appeal to their reason, convince them we alone can protect them from Penguin-”  “Seems unlikely.  They are men.”  Pfft!

*both crack up when “Ave Maria” starts playing when Tabitha guns down all the other gang leaders*

“Yeah, yeah, Option B.”  *chuckles*

*Dwight goes on air with Jerome’s face on*  That’s creepy as shit!

That is really creepy, just the [gesture Dwight did when he corrected himself]

“Look at that.  No charisma, no stage presence.”  I dunno, he’s [Dwight] doing pretty well.

*laughs reading the news bulletin bars on the TV being changed to ‘HahAhaHAhaHA’*

Oh my God!

Jesus God, where are all those wires attached to?!?

I don’t know...

If he [Jim] shoots his [Dwight’s] ass on live television, that would be the most karmic thing...

*Jim and the Strike Force infiltrate the studio*  Oh my God!

*Jim tackles Dwight to the ground*  Boom!  Hoo hoo!

That was a great quick panning shot.

Niiice...

*in dramatic voice*  Meanwhile at W Manor...

*raises eyebrows in shock when Selina tries to goad Bruce into fighting her*

“You know, the only reason she [Maria] came back to Gotham, the only reason she tracked me [Selina] down... was you [Bruce].”  Here’s my question:  how did she know her daughter and Bruce were a thing?

Yeah, that doesn’t add up.

How did that happen?  How did she figure that out?

*laughs at all the fans telling Dwight they love him*

This actor is having the time of his life.

Oh, he totally is.

“Where’s Dwight?”  “I saw a uni walking him that way.”  Ohhhh...

*Jim and Harvey find a dead cop*  Ohhh what is that [sticking out of the dead cop’s chest]?!?

Oh my God!

What is that?!?!?

*both yell and reel back in horror when Jerome starts stapling his face back on*

And that’s a prosthetic.

Jesus God.

And he [Jerome] actually sounds different from the first time we saw him because Theo stabbed him in the neck [in S2] and it hit his vocal cords.

Yeeeppp...

“Say... you’re not mad, are you?”  “Mad?  What could I [Jerome] possibly be mad about?”  “Y’know, the whole... cutting off your face...”  Pfft!

“Oswald?”  *leans back in surprise*

*Oswald loses contact with Ed*  Ed’s probably like “Hell yeah!” and snaps the phone.

*chuckles*

“Kane Chemicals!  Let’s go!  Move!”  You are walking right into a trap, Oswald.

“Hi.  Some you you may know... I died.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Tonight, Gotham, in the darkness... there are no rules.”  You keep pulling out these edgelord lines!  I know you can do better than that, dude.

“I [Jerome] don’t forgive you [Dwight] for my face.”  *tries to stifle a laugh*

“We need a bird [chopper] to go now!”  You guys aren’t gonna make it!  You’re not gonna make it!

*pops hand toward screen when the power plant blows*

*All the power goes*  Ohhhhhh schnap.

Oh shit!

*Closing title pops up*  Ohhh hoo hoo....

*reels back in surprise*  OK...

OK...

ONTO THE NEXT EPISODE!

[theloniousbach]

COUCH TOUR: FRED HERSCH, LE BAL BLOMET streamed on Facebook Live by FRANCE MUSIQUE, 26 JUNE 2021

While I think I did see notice of this performance, I had not calibrated time zones. Instead, it snuck up on me via a Facebook notification. Snuck up on me and I am glad it caught me.

I came in the middle of the opener, If I Should Lose You, an appropriately titled standard as Fred Hersch plays in front of people again. It was familiar with Great American Songbook conventions and Fred Hersch conventions of variation, harmonic reconfiguration, and invention. I knew happily exactly where I was even if I didn’t, as usual, place the specific tune.

I was moments late as I was rallying my local jazz friends to the great news that Kenny Barron with Kiyoshi Kitagawa and Johnathan Blake will be at our local venues. Hersch would be can’t miss and so is Barron (and Cyrus Chestnut is in an all-star configuration, so that gets the third of the top tier by my estimation).

And France Musique talked over and then faded out Hersch launching into the Thelonious Monk closer. Damn.

But, in between, there were four cuts from his quarantine album, Songs from Home, one segueing into the wonderful Love Theme from Spartacus (another, oh yeah what is the name of that one tune. I wondered if it was Emily and it is a movie, not musical theme, so late 50s/early 60s, not 30s to early 50s, but Alex North not Johnny Mandel).

They were:

—Wichita Lineman which already had nuances when Glen Campbell sang it, but Hersch got inside all of them wonderfully;

—After You’ve Gone which started like a wacky player piano—it is from the 1920s after all—and stayed true to itself even as Hersch worked his usual magic.

—Black is the Color which was the segued from tune. That’s a favorite folk song and it’s not a folk song here, but again the possibilities and richnesses are there.

—All I Want, a landmark from Blue. Thinking about Joni Mitchell’s chording on that album and always, the tunings, the dulcimer (some strumming of the strings was evocative), and her gravitation to jazz were all brought forth and discussed in Hersch’s version. That was the tune before the truncated Monk, so another mighty juxtaposition.

Midset were some Hersch originals:

—Pastorale which consciously evoked Robert Schumann. And that got me thinking about what makes the European Tradition different from Jazz. In many ways, this was just Fred Hersch music as he is nothing but thoughtful, lyrical, playing a long game in his variations. But this wasn’t quite jazz. Rhythm is the easiest thing to point to and that’s part of it, but not all. I bet it has to do with the structure of the variations which indeed may have been more composed.

—Song Without Words: Duets which followed Pastorale and was the jazz counterpoint to my discussion posed by its predecessor. That said, I remember another version during the last year where the Duets aspect stood out. I did notice the two handed ness, but in that earlier version I felt the duets were not left hand/right hand but inner and outer fingers, it was that subtle.

Wonderful all around but I did miss my/our/his Monk. But it was a gift.

I donated to his partner’s Global Haitian Health Network as I now tend to do in appreciation for these opportunities to see him from my couch.

[wyldlittledog]

Here’s to 2018...

...it can’t be any worse than 2017. Between the traumatic end of what I thought was a good friendship and the death of my mother only five months after she was diagnosed with the illness that took her life, I can honestly say that 2017 has been one of the worst years of my life. I don’t know what the future holds for me or this blog, but I’m hoping I can get back on my feet and that 2018 will be better. Nowhere to go but up, right? But since there is only a few hours left of 2017, I wanted to take the time to say thank you to some of the people who have made this year a little easier to breathe.

@agonymasked, @fvckthegods, @provemyselfalone (and you guys’ other assorted blogs) - You’re all amazing, talented, wonderful writers with so much creativity. Not all of you are around much anymore on Tumblr, but I wanted to say I love you guys. And even if you aren’t here, I love that I still get to talk to you all regularly. I’m not sure why you put up with all my mess, but thank you. You three have given me (and Nasir!) some true moments of joy and happiness in what has been a very dark year. I can never repay any of you for that, but I appreciate it none the less. <333

@xmythikosx - I think you’re brilliant, and Nasir loves Psyche. Eventually we’re going to plot like I said we would when my brain feels like functioning normally again (whatever the fuck normal is). But you are one of the blogs that has been with me from damn near the start, and you’ve never been anything but kind, so thank you. <3

@astatheloner, @darkestbeforedxwn, @justadeadtourist, @kidsofthekelvinhero, @moonoverbourbon & @thepocketqueer - Lovely people with amazing characters. Some of you have been here a while, and others of you are fairly new to me and Nasir. To the ones who’ve been around, you’ve been so nice to me, and I hope to write with and get to know better in the coming year. To the new people, I’m excited to have met you, and I am looking forward to getting to know you, and letting our characters have a blast together. <3

This blog doesn’t have many followers, and it likely never will. There are much more shiny and popular Spartacus blogs out there. So thank you to those of you who are here, and who enjoy my Nasir and have supported me through this awful year. Apologies if I left anyone off this list who should be here. <3

Cheers to 2018. :)