#in a space where everything seems horrible art is like. the one good thing rn. i love art so much. all forms of it. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ranmanjuu · 4 years ago

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—gen z mc with uesugi-takeda + misc. forces

ahh, i’m so glad people liked my gen z oda hcs! lol it’s usually pretty slow from my writing blog experiences until now, but i’m rlly happy! i was planning to do u-t and the others but then i decided to stop at oda and continue another day. thx for the asks tho! and yeah, i do take requests but it’s more of a pasttime, since this whole blog is just my stupid ideas written out and shared out there.

also someone said that a gen z mc could be old enough to romance the warlords, like, early twenties. and yes, very fair if u wanna romance ur mans with memes and existentialism go for it!! i just think it adds more to the comedy side of this child they have to babysit, while not fearing death or any consequences from their dumb of Ass decisions. someone who fears no death and armed with no braincells is a fool, but a Child who fears no death and armed with no braincells is also a fool, but more bizzare and has That Vibe y’know

@niphredil-14 and @arthotsglasses

tw: s*icidal, violent jokes treated in a light manner

also spoilers to some things of their characters

—kenshin:

who is this,, , sassy lost child??

he first saw you prepared to throw hands with ronins who were being Elite Dickheads. ofc, armed with nothing compared to the sworded-adults, he had to interfere.

no matter how cold he treated you, masking his secret !!!-like concern, you seemed so unfazed through it. you still interacted with him like normal,,,,, why?? do you want a death wish?

and each time he threatened you with,, anything, you responded with, “the only one who gets to hurt & kill me, is ME”

...... what?

he’s convinced you’re the biggest fool of a person. and he’d be right but even so, he has a weirdly strong need to protect you as you two got closer. you’re often with sasuke, so it’s harder to avoid you.

even with all the Horrible jokes you make on a daily basis, if your passionate side with everyone having equal rights of being treated as human, for him it shows a side of you that makes you seem precious and pure and kind hearted.

and the overprotective side increases.

which is, ,, a bit problematic sometimes cause you have the tendency to target and piss off anyone in a 10 meter range by just one (1) sassy comment, along with your lack of impulse control and blurting out everything in your mind. it’s made you a lot of short enemies in the sengoku period, and kenshin would always be ready to slice them down behind you.

sasuke has to tame him down with his Masters degree in kenshin-wrangling.

at banquets, kenshin would often have you beside him. if you’re too young for sake do age for drinking exist in sengoku? probably not. it’s more of sasuke advising for him to not give you alcoholic drinks he’ll have you pouring for him or just munching away at pickled plums or food.

—shingen:

(ngl i kinda had a hard time with this since it’s erasing a big part of his overall character,,, flirting)

once he heard the news that oda had taken in somone as young as you during honno-ji,, ,,,he’s in a very “how dare that demon >>:( taking such a pure soul,....”

and when you’re taken to kasugayama as a captive, you’re,,, surprisingly very calm and whelmed. you don’t have much sign of fear or anxiety in your overall demeanor meanwhile you’re busy dissociating and spacing out to feel those

you actually don’t seem to hate your captor. but shingen isn’t sure if your ‘fingerguns’ is a good thing or not cause it depicts you pointing guns @ him,, (dw is good shingen)

while yes being held hostage—no matter how good you’re being treated—isn’t ideal and kinda not very cash money, you consider shingen v chill. man has a kindheart!! “i diagnose you with good vibes.”

if he ever sees your righteous side, as everyone else, he’ll deeply admire you. he himself is someone who believes in such as well. and hearing the circumstances in the modern world regarding those things (blm, etc.) his heart truly does go out for you. he feels sympathy for such a young person like you having to take action

also your dirty humor around him, echigo’s player, kind of makes him question where and how you learnt it

and,, his illness.

through getting straight to the point and not falling for it each time he changes subject/dodges the question, you managed to get to the bottom of his illness. shingen himself thinks it’s not something you have to burden with knowing—you’re so, so young.

but that doesn’t matter to you. the world’s given you such a shit time, you’re mature enough to understand the situation at least.

and as he finishes his explanation, all there was is silence. it felt wrong to say any of your usual quips,, so all you did was slowly came there and hugged him.

that was more than what he’d ask for.

—sasuke:

oh hell yeah

you are in your element with him. the chillest guy to talk to, and probably the first one you’re the closest to

your phone was dead after like 2 days of use, and you were miserable while hideyoshi, like a typical parent, told you to go outside and into town. sensing your bad mood, sasuke asked what’s up. you deadpanned, “my phone game ended and now i’m ready to commit not breath.” you oslemnly look out in the bustling streets and clutched your fist like an Anime Protagonist, “those boomer memes were right all along... i am absolutely Miserable and Useless(^TM) without it.”

in response, you could’ve sworn he did the Anime Glasses thing as well, “then we at team Moderately Awesome Sengoku Ninja are happy to announce the launch of a DIY phone charger, made with the electricity from a fruit and the main functionality of a solar panel. and has more durability than samsung’s.”

there were Stars in your eyes now. with a big grin, you thank him, “i’d die for you, sasuke.”

“then perish.” he said with a blank look. (yukimura, in the bg: ???!!!??!??!?)

the next day he consentually breaks in through the ceiling and gives you the weird contraption. you’re now saved, soul-wise.

the memes start coming and they don’t stop coming from the two of you. in any situation. whether it’d be at a teahouse, or at a battlefield that can determine your life and death.

and you can have discussions about current world events, or the past ones, with him and he’d understand completely what you’re talking about. it’s those rare nights when you’ve been thinking and have a deep conversation with him in his room, and as an adult, it makes for interesting results as well.

the others are endlessly confused, but you’re both so unapologetically yourselves.

and he’s super protective if the circumstances are tough. he feels bad for dragging another person in the sengoku with him—much less when they’re so young like you.

if you’re enough of a lil shit, once you’re taken into kasugayama, in the nights where you can’t sleep because brain at what would be 3 am, you’d probably trudge over to his room and wake him up to tell him what kind of mind-blowing shit you realized.

—yukimura:

when he saved you from falling to your death, your reaction already set off weird Vibes inside him. what do you mean, “you stopped me from fleeing this fleeting world by the sweet embrace of death” ?!?!?! are you crazy?? yes

he doesn’t waste time getting blunt with you at all either.

once he goes into azuchi as a merchant, he silently observes you talking to sasuke for a bit. what’s with your weird language?? and crude humor???? never in his life has he met someone in your age act like that wtf

even so, he still operates on the basis of ‘‘if sasuke trusts you, i trust you’’, no matter how utterly concerned you make him feel

you have a dirtier mind than him! unsurprisingly. along with everyone else, you often tease the poor soul, a nd you’d gladly tell him what the innuendoes mean ( 69, etc.) and maybe sprinkle in some gay jokes in there

and why do you keep mentioning this “bromance between him and sasuke” ?? what us,,, a bromance????? and why is sasuke in it??

he takes you out to teahouses to eat chestnut dumplings and other desserts with you. you always seem to target the one he doesn’t like the most and have a bit of banter

your relationship is built on banter but what’s different rlly

he treats you much more maturely than other people your age. as in, he doesn’t pull back his punches in words most of the time. you don’t seem to around him also, it looks like.

and, he’s also very protective of you. he regards you as his little sibling, as rat as you may be. and he does care about you—he might just be a bit unwilling to say it

—yoshimoto:

you think he’s very chill, if a bit unique but who were you to judge. and he is, if you ever meet him in echigo or even azuchi

his big liking to art and something of apathy to people is osmething you can respect. there’s something about that kind of Vibe that you find oddly a mood.

and oh boy oh boy you wasted no time pulling up your phone and showing images of what art is in the future. whether it’d be a screenshot of anime, fanart, aesthetic-like ones, palette-themed—the whole shabang.

and, somehow, you were left ranting to him about how some artists in the future get it so shitty for theft, reposting, not crediting, the list goes on (please be a decent human being to artist, sincerely the author) and he can’t help but just listen in silence and kind of thinking about how you’re so passionate about the Struggles of artists. and it isn’t something he sees often in the sengoku era—where war rules most things.

and he does find art from the modern times interesting, how they’re so different and vast in styles. and not only that, it’s not like the future only has one major style like then, each hand can draw such different pictures and still have beauty in each. he appreciates and admires that.

and he does tell you his thoughts ^ while you give your own insight. it’s so fascinating to see someone like you having strong opinions on this.

because, well, rn art is a big thing in our lives as we’re stuck inside. a part of entertainment is looking at any media of art—and he finds his view of art and yours quite the same. you two came from a time of turmoil (one moreso than the other) but still think art isn’t exactly irrelevant just because it isn’t a cure to diseases or the Ultimate Weapon.

you had to Surgically Remove him from your phone so you can use it and to stop him from draining your battery looking at the art

and he often drags you out to town and admire pieces when you’re holing yourself in too much. your comments are always unknown to him, “radical”, “that’s one i can vibe with ngl”, and the list goes on.

and you occasionally call him pretty boy as a compliment rlly

—kennyo:

when you first saw him at honno-ji, and he won’t forget the one (1) line you gave him, all you said to his warning of ooo spooky demons was, “that’s lit fam gtg tho”

and that alone was enough to stun him for a few seconds

honestly you told the others of your meeting with kennyo before they told you it could be kennyo. just a throaway line of “oh yeah there was this dude with a scar across his face.” / “,,, ,....that’s kennyo. he’s really dangerous actually—” / “oh, poggers”

you’re probably kind of half the reason the oda forces found who dun it.

and it was an eye for an eye, kennyo himself found out that you were their child chatelaine, and very close to the others. as per his villain-schedule, he kidnaps you .

he laments about how “such a pure soul such as yours is not to be stained by the demon’s hands”

oh how Wrong he was.

you were the definition of the opposite of pure. and you seemed unfazed, which surprised kennyo but shrugged it off. he was willing to face you screaming and panicking, along with shouldering the sin of doing the deed. but instead, he was met with a raised eyebrow and, “this is unexpected and probably not welcomed but what am i doing here.”

he was stunned for a moment before explaining what he can.

“......... fuck.”

he cringed ever so slightly at your curse. but your attention seems to stray so quickly off of the fact that you were bounded and helpless, to the fact that you have the man doing unspeakable things to civilians and you absolutely don’t approve.

throwing your common sense to maybe be civilized, you went off on a rant of how human rights and how to not be an ass to him. all he could do was just listened, shocked to even cut you off.

when he did, he gave the whole ‘unsaved demon’ shtick, and you weren’t taking that kinda shit. he believed he was truly unsaved—you knew that. but that doesn’t make it okay.

eventually, he left you with a cold end of the conversation.

he admires your spirit in a way—but with what he’s experienced,,, it’s a bit of unreachable for him.

if at any point you saw the soft side of his with animals, you just gaped at him for a split second and whispered, “the gap moe is strong with this one.”

also old man died inside when you said that you’d fight god, along with many things.

all in all, to him, you’re insufferable. but weirdly,, fascinating.

you’ve totally ok boomer’d him once cause he rlly looks old

—motonari:

,,. if your speech to kennyo was bad, he’s going to rant hell.

motonari already knew you were interesting even when his men just spied on you. your behavior, so brash and impulsive, is going to be so fun to have, he thinks.

through some planning to stir up more chaos, he kidnaps you and brings you unto his ship. same as kennyo, you showed no clear sign of surprise, and that’s when he decided you were either used to this in any way, or a fool. both answers, he liked.

you’re kind of really confused on why he’s doing what he’d doing. “i get it, i like to stir up chaos myself but it’s harmless,, most of it—but not until the people are in danger, bitch.”

and by that line, motonari leans towards you with a deadly smirk, “now, i can bite, ‘kay kid? you don’t wanna be in the receiving end... do you?”

“do it, coward.”

and before he could let out even a wheeze of laughter, you continued on on a lecture of, again, not being a dick and letting people live their life in peace. and much less all of this damage, for what? chaos?? yeah you wanted to see the world burn but it wasn’t literally.

however, his patience was running thin. he shuts you up forcefully, and leaves.

even so, after a cooldown period, he still talks to you (,,,, well, that’s kind of a generous term) because, right he was, you were so fun in his eyes.

an interesting observation he made,,, was that you picked up on his big dislike of physical contact. and he’d think with how annoying you were at times, that you’d weaponize it. but you didn’t—in fact, you kept your space (not that you were planning to get close) and respected his boundaries.

he thinks you a bit of peculiar for that decision, some wary, and perhaps naive.

one of the days—the more dangerous ones—he was planning to take you to the oda as bait or something. and you weren’t taking it like that. two days before arrival, a storm racked up. you stood upon the edge of the ship with the rest of the crew watching you like you were a madman.

“the oda won’t want me if i’m dead, would they now?”

motonari stands in his composure, guffawing, “all i need is to make sure they believe you’re alive, kid.”

a smile that showed absolutely no fear and 1000 percent spite spread in your face, “not unless i decimate my own body until all the trail left is my blood. the only one who gets to do that shit to me, is me.”

finally, a look of wavering shows in his face.

you were saved last minute,, and the rest is history.

#ikemen sengoku #cybird ikemen #ikesen #ikesen kenshin #ikesen shingen #ikesen sasuke #ikesen yukimura #ikesen yoshimoto #ikesen kennyo #ikesen motonari #ikesen uesugi takeda #*writing #gen z mc #god i hope my Lack of Ability isn't shown in how other characters are written longer than others #and how i might've badly Fucked up their characters #i've done like.. 3 routes and that knowledge is all i have #stans pls don't @ me #pretty sure i had more i wanted to add here but #aha brain's memory go brrrrrrrr

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fiore-rosewood9 · 3 years ago

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👄, 🌸, 🔥 for the hetalia asks!

Okay. All of this is personal opinion and is not meant to offend anyone. Please do not get upset, these are just my opinions. With that out of the way - here are my personal thoughts and what I think.

First emoji - Which nation do you think has the most fitting voice actor? Whose voice do you think doesn’t work? - So I don't like dubbed anime, most english translated animes tend to sound awkward to me, some do a good job, but in hetalia's case it sounds a bit off sometimes, so I will speak for the subbed/japanese version - I think Francis's seiyuu is really calming. I used to listen to the CD's when I had a panic attack, about the - Count sheeps one, where he brings you lavender and lures you to sleep. I kinda like England's seiyuu but wish his voice was more rough and he uses words like mate, wanker, similar to America's seiyuu who says the word - hero. I love prussia's raspy voice. I get that Canada is a shy soft boy, but I don't like his voice actor. I kinda think Hungary's voice actor does not fit her. I think the guy who voices prussia should not voice greece and estonia too, it kinda sounds like he is using a soft hushed whispery voice for prussia with them to me. I think Switzerland's voice actor should be a guy, if I remember correctly it was a woman. I don't mind women voicing men and vice versa, but I think it is more suitable for characters like Chibitalia, which is voiced by a woman.

Second emoji - top 3 favourite characters - Bulgaria, Seychelles, Prussia. I used to have Prussia's song Mein gott as a ringtone.

Third emoji - Are there any popular/widely accepted headcanons you don’t like? - Yes. Heavy nsfw under the cut. If this disturbs you, the reader, please refrain from reading. Historical/sexual mentions in this post will be used, as well as mentions of the mbti/psychology stuff. This is also a long post since it is a rant, feel free to skip in case you are lazy.

Yes. People assuming that England is a uke. Just give me one solid reason that he is? Neither psychologically, mbti wise, historically or manga wise is he an uke. He is a tsundere. That means rough on the outside, soft on the inside with the right people. I hate how for many reasons, in fan art and even in p*rn if you check it out....he has these weird...anorexic tween girl proportions. On a thin person's body you can see some ribs and England is sometimes drawn as such, but on many fan art he has chibi like, weird almost anorexic body, which confuses me, because it is not possible for 23 year old man to have such body, unless he has some genetical defects + an eating disorder, how tall is he again 175 cm (5' 9") if I remember correctly, so BMI and height are connected, for this height, it is not possible to has the body he has in doujinshis and some fan arts.

APH england is a thin man, he is no longer an empire with power, but he is neither anorexic, nor a tween and doesn't have female hips. Arthur is stubborn bitter alcoholic sarcastic old man who can't cook and is rough but tries his best to be a ''gentleman''. He grieves over his past glory days, when he used to actually hold any power over the world, but even though he is weaker now, he is still strong and tough and has influence. I mean, almost the whole world is speaking english, if that ain't an achievement, I don't know what is. England was never a uke/bottom, and when I ask for people's POV on why they think he is a bottom, I always receive insults and threats and am told to go away. I would wish for people to stop fetishizing/degrading him, when he is clearly proud, stubborn, a bit mean old bitter man who just wants someone to talk to him, love him and appreciate him, because his collegues clearly do not respect him or care much and harshly tease him a lot. I am quite aware of the position he is in, because I know what it is like to have people disrespect you, talk over you or make fun of you. He misses his colonies and still thinks like an empire, actually every ex empire thinks like one, they don't like politics, they like war and destruction and conquering.

America isn't a top. He is a proud bottom, and he feels damn sexy when someone rides him and compliments on how good he is doing. He can be described as a switch, but to me, I see him leaning more towards bottom. America is a really confident and enthusiastic man, he is strong and prideful as well as greedy, but it gets tiring to have all the control and power all the time, have no responsiblities can be relaxing from time to time.

France doesn't hate England for killing Jeanne d'arc as much as people assume. She was his first, innocent type of love and while it is a tragedy he managed to get over it. He took revenge by taking America from him and helping him rebel against England, who is neglectful. People manage to through war, trauma and many horrible things and still survive, despite the pain, it isn't logical for a soft gentle person like france to hold a grudge all of his life, even now.

Also around 2011-2013 some people made memes and joked about francis being a r*pist. I think some people don't understand that some people just have high libido and can't do anything about it. It doesn't make them a bad person. I miss on social cues and rules and the only jokes I understand are the sexual ones, it is literally the only humour I laugh at. So in this way, he is relateable, despite being inappropriate and vulgar, I just love the shock factor the jokes have. R*pe is not a joke, and he isn't a r*pist. He deserves love, like every hetalia character and like each one of you people. We all just want love at the end of the day, someone to listen to us, and hug us.

Prussia isn't dying. He just represents east germany. He isn't a human.

I really hate how south korea is portrayed as someone who gropes people's butts. It is just as weird as Belarus's wish to marry her brother. This is not much of a headcanon, I just find it disturbing.

North Italy/Canada/England aren't innocent uwu boys who have never cursed or don't know what sex is and refuse to watch porn.

There is nothing cute or cool about the nazi uniforms or parts of prussia and germany. They regret everything they did. But from what I see, a big part of the fandom made it out to be ''sexy'' in the past. There is some fan of it too.

The revolutionary war broke england but it isn't that big of a deal as fans make it out to be. Same with Jeanne d'arc. England was really disliked, almost hated and attacked by his fellow nations. The child he found, America, was the first person to not openly hate him in ages. England took care of him, but england is pretty neglectful him self, he leaves america alone a lot, yet exploitates him. So it is only logical for America to ask France and Prussia to the resque. Even though France becomes broke. But the same can be said about france. France is neglectful towards canada, who nurses back to health England, who is pretty deep into his depression after America leaves. All England could say is - America, America, America, because he can't handle the loss of his favourite colony. Of course this would hurt canada, who was abandoned in favour of his brother and his other father doesn't care about him either. To this day England sometimes still mistakes Canada for America, the only people who never do that seem to be France, Seychelles and America. Probably Japan, Netherlands, Austria and Prussia too. But england is pretty much over it, it is not his whole life and it is not the end of the world. This is why Sealand is taken care of by Finland and Sweden, England makes a lot of basic mistakes as a father.

Russia isn't an emotionless monster. I think due to his life and history, he is what you may call - Emotionally immature. He has childish cruelty and is a bit forceful as well as childish, which is not completely normal for someone his age. However, abuse stuns growth, so it is quite explainable why some nations are more mature and some are more childish. Abuse can also have the other effect, make someone extremely mature for their age, I think this is Latvia's case. He is trying to make friends but his approach is just simply bad. He has a weird energy/vibe and it shows. He goes into people's personal space and wants them to become one with mother russia. This would creep anyone. I think France and China aren't afraid of him, simply because they're too used to his gimmics and he can't surprise them. Russia's tactics become predicatable after a while.

#thank you for the ask #hetalia #hetalia2021 #hetalia2020 #answered #asks #hetalia ask #ask me stuff #hetalia thoughts #opinions #rant #hetalia world series #axispowershetalia #ask me anything hetalia

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wetsockonyourfoot · 7 years ago

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Starboy Lance

Aghhhhh my head’s in so many different places rn, just take this! :S

You know that feeling when you're only really kinda good at one thing, and pretty mediocre or bad at everything else? That feeling of knowing there are others with multitude of talents, and skills, yet you were given the short end of the stick and barely given a talent at all? That's the feeling Keith had felt every day of his life. Back at his old middle school he just passed his classes really. Never an over achiever. Never an underachiever. He was never insanely popular, never apart of the nerdy kids, jocks, drama, art, music, or geek clubs. He was sorta... just... there. And that's how it seemed to be in high school too, he just floated along till his senior year. Keith remembers his senior year almost perfectly. Why? Because of one person. Lance. Lance was an incoming junior when Keith was beginning his senior year, though he shared the same classes as Lance. Beautiful, smart, and wonderful Lance who always found the perfect pastel outfit to wear each day of one week, before he completely switched and was wearing goth black the next week. That was Lance's talent, to be so perfectly absorbed in his own style, his own personal club that no one could seem to follow or get into. Keith fell in love the moment he laid his eyes on Lance, and then he fell out of love immediately when Lance opened his mouth to speak. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but Lance's opening line of, "Dude I thought Mullet's were stuck in the 80s" was not exactly a charmer. Keith of course rolled his eyes and started to rethink the tan skinned beauty he now had a crush on, but Lance luckily saved the conversation. "Sorry, that was rude. And I can't exactly be one to talk now can I?" Lance asked gesturing towards his outfit of choice. Keith remembered it well. The first day of classes and Lance was simultaneously breaking every school dress code at once, well for girls anyway. Boys didn't have any dress codes except to wear pants essentially. Lance however was clad in probably the most pastel goth outfit Keith had ever seen. Purple galaxy tights with bright pink converse, a pair of blue shorts over his tights, and a yellow shirt with a classic little green alien plastered on the front that read 'Aliens?'. Bronze skin practically glowed in the sun as he adjusted the various clips and earrings in his ears, along with the bracelets and rings on his arms. It was a completely feminine look, yet here was a slightly lanky boy pulling it off perfectly. Keith thought that surely someone would harass him for wearing such an outfit, yet he knew that as long as Lance hung out with him, no one would dare to touch him. Keith Kogane didn't have many talents, he was an average student really. But god damn, he could punch, and he was know for it. Back during his freshmen year of high school, Keith had some rough encounters with the baseball jocks after they kicked out Takashi Shirogane from their team. Shiro, as Keith called him, was Keith's current boyfriend. Three year's his senior, he was a well rounded and absolutely perfect human being. Shiro however was involved in an accident when he was in 10th grade that cost him his arm, and he had been facing hardship against the baseball team every sense. He was allowed to play his 11th year with his new arm, but couldn't find the courage to actually get back onto the field. So his final year they officially kicked Shiro off the team, and Keith got a little more than pissed. It ended up with Keith getting two weeks suspension, and the head of the baseball team getting reconstructive surgery. Needless to say, no one picked fights with Keith. Lance hung around for a while longer, talking about how he just moved to the town with his mother after a rough divorce. Keith speaking about how he was an orphan that now lived with Shiro since he was technically a year behind in age and would be turning 19 that year. Keith had moved in during the summer and couldn't be happier to be out of the dingy foster home he was stuck in. They were nice people and all, but he was ready to get out and not have someone nagging him all the time. Lance, as it turned out, would be turning 18 that year, as he was a year ahead of his age. "Part of being born in the summer I suppose?" was all he commented about it. Conversation flowed through them casually, naturally as if they had been talking all their lives. He found out that most of his siblings were staying with his father back in Cuba, his mother and him having moved to the United States for a fresh start. They had been living there since last May, and Lance's English was so good that if he hadn't been told so Keith would have never guessed his first language was actually Spanish. All throughout the day Lance received looks, and sneers from peers though he seemed to ignore them all and instead focused on making a social group for him and Keith. It was hard to find the right people, or at least to find people that Lance considered good enough to keep. Though Lance also seemed to be a social media expert as he Chatted and Snapped, and Twittered his way through mobs of curious girls and boys alike. In the end, Keith would prefer to just have Lance to himself, but, that was a conversation for... well actually now seemed to be a good time to consider it, Keith thought. Lance seemed to be perfectly built for Keith, and sure as hell had a personality to match, but he already had Shiro. Why would he feel the need to have another boyfriend? Sure Keith had heard of poly amorous relationships before, but he never considered the thought too much. It never stuck out to him as something that needed to be thought about so seriously before. He didn't have a problem with it or anything, so long as the people involved knew about the other partners and were okay with it. However, Keith never considered him to be one to find himself in this position. Shiro had always provided him with everything he needed. Love, comfort, a source of relief after a hard day, hell he even helped Keith provide a house and food for them both. But Lance... Lance provided social interaction that he craved. The danger of being new, the intoxicating scent of something fresh that Keith wanted to stain and mark as his. Lance was a breathe of new air in Keith's slowly dulling life. Shiro provided him with stability, Lance with flexibility. Both were needed and in the right parts, but the hard part came as to when to get them together. Hell Keith was thinking to fast, he had to find out if Lance even liked him back first! Fantasizing could come later! And thus the day went on. Boring classes that Keith barely paid attention too, syllabus that he would have to sign later, and the sense of emotional exhaustion settling deep into his bones. Keith's day was far from over though, he had his shift down at a local bar still, hired as one of the bouncers since he knew the young faces of the town. So he trudged on. Dumping his bag in the back of the bar after a short walk to down town from school, still thinking about Lance all while he worked. The way the other's brown hair seemed to glow gold when caught right, lean muscles, bright blue eyes, and enthusiasm that made even a shy loner like Keith smile. Needless to say, Keith couldn't wait to get home and find out more about the teen. Heading back home around 1 AM, he was greeted to his usual sight of Shiro's attempt at cooking, failure from cooking, and resulting pizza box on the counter, along with the older passed out on the couch with the TV droning on. Shaking his head lovingly, Keith dropped his bags, grabbed some pizza and shoved it down quickly before nudging Shiro awake. Shiro half awake and half asleep will continue to be the best part of dating the taller male, he was like a child in this state, mumbling nonsense and stumbling around as Keith lead him to bed. The bedroom was a small thing, as their house was a simple one story affair, in a decently safe neighbor hood. Shiro's parents had helped put down the deposit, but Shiro and him kept on time with their own payments, giving it the sense of truly being theirs. Down the hall from the living room was their bedroom, where a giant bed took up almost all the space inside of it. Shiro insisted on getting the large mattress, as he rolled around a lot and was a fairly large man. Keith was thankful for it, as it meant fewer steps for the sleep drunken young adult to walk and get to bed. With Shiro tucked in soundly, Keith even gave him a kiss for good measure, he worked on getting ready for bed himself and found that only one thing was out of place. The neighbors light was still on, casting a fake yellow shadow across the spot where Keith was to rest his head. Grumbling annoyed by the lack of darkness in his spot, he tried to get the blinds to close further and failed horribly, somehow making them open wider instead of closing. Mentally cursing himself Keith tried to fix the matter before a figure appeared in the light of the opposite room. It was Lance. Keith felt his heart drop right then and there. Lance was almost completely exposed in his outfit. Only wearing a pair of panties, and a long sweater over his top half. That's not what made Keith's heart drop however. All across Lance's legs were scars and bandages. And all of them looked to be self inflicted.

#keith kogane #takashi shirogane #Shiro #sheith #klance #lance #Lance McClain #keith #voltron #voltron angst #langst #angst #voltron fic #Starboy Lance #Anna writes stuff #tw self harm #tw mental health #shklance end goal

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myinspirationisgone · 7 years ago

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1-99

Thanks so much for all the entertainment cutie 💜💙1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?Hmm I think it's pretty equal like a perfect combination of both. I don't like my cereal to be soggy or drown in milk but I also don't like it when it's "too hard" 😂 I like the right amount of crunch though 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?I love it, I really do. Those first few moments of being outside are super refreshing and awakening but after a while of being outside, well my face starts to numb so I don't even feel the wind anymore hahahaha3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?I can only come up with 2 rn. I've used like tickets from the grocery store, even toilet paper 😂 oh wait I even once used a plastic ruler 4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I like my coffee with milk and 1 sugar cube, my tea either without sugar or 1 sugar cube but that depends on what kind of tea it is. I just don't like it too sweet but I also don't like too bitter so then I'll use 1 cube 🙂 as for the coffee though, I rarely drink regular like I prefer something mocha ish or coconut/bounty from a really good place in Leuven 5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Oh for sure, a little too much probably. I just think it looks weird or ugly. Also because I don't like my teeth, a few years back it was so intense I'd do everything to avoid smiling while showing my teeth. It was ridiculous. I did get over that in the sense that I don't pay attention to it anymore like I'm trying to show my teeth but I do still hate it 6: do you keep plants?Fake ones, orchids and we used to have cacti as well. We don't really do real plants anymore because we forget to water them and then it's just a sad waste. But I do love the fake ones a lot. They look real, brighten up the place and so on 🌵7: do you name your plants?I don't think I ever did 🤔8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Writing, definitely writing. I've always loved it, the paper doesn't judge yet you get to out what you feel and putting it into words, the mess of thoughts, can really straighten things out. I've been writing ever since I was around 14 so for about 6 years now. I don't do it as much as I used to but I still hold it dear ✒9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Damn right I do!!! I sing and hum whenever I can, like no matter what I'm doing. Goes from cleaning to working for class to walking outside. At home they tell me to shut up though, since apparently my singing sounds like a cat dying ☺ luckily I still have the shower 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I sleep on my back, side and stomach actually. It just really depends what I'm feeling that evening. Sometimes I can't fall asleep in a certain position and other days I can. It's weird really but I think my all time fav is like half stomach/half back. Also perfectly comfortable for the boobs.... Tmi sorry 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?Oh shit I don't know actually 🤔 hmmm probably how I got the nickname Nuno since it's like something only my friends know of and my man 12: what’s your favorite planet?I actually don't know that much about the planets. But mercury looks beautiful imo so imma go for that one 13: what’s something that made you smile today?I don't think I've smiled today 😂 waaaait no I did, when you sent me that you asked questions and then that you look forward to reading them oh wait a few things you said today made me smile actually 💕14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?It would look modern but cozy and the old touch of it would be respected. There would be fake plants and carpets. Many pictures and art work up against the wall too. The kitchen would have a major rack of spices and herbs. Oh and a balcony with lights 🙂15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!This is a dope one, the skin peeling off feet was pretty cool too though but I chose.....You become taller in Space. Another change to the human body in micro-gravity is that spine straightens out, as gravity is not pushing you down. In fact you can be up to as much as 5cm taller in the Space Station!!!16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Definitely the pasta Arrabiata, the spice is just mmm 😩17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I actually already have died my hair in colors I really wanted it to be. I've had red and blonde hair. For now I'm content with my own color but I might definitely change it up again at some point18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.I've done so many dumb and funny things 😂 I am pretty sure the dumbest thing I've done that is always brought up is when me and my friends went on a trip for like a few days and I was drunk during the day, it was hot and we had tequila and what not so everything like worked a lot faster and heavier. But my friends had been flirting with some dudes there so I thought it was good to start cleaning our apartment so they could invite them over hahahaha I was a mess and I was vacuuming the couch that was covered in popcorn from the night before and it was just yeah, I still get laughed at for it 😂19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I've tried several times to keep an actual journal but for some reason it never really worked so I gave up on it 20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green, it's so special and mesmerizing. I've actually never seen the color irl cause it seems pretty rare and I also don't know many people but I just know and from what I've seen on pictures, it's the most perfect to me 😍21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.It's like an eastpack lookalike for 10 euros, dark brown. I used it for everything. School, vacations, 1 day trips, festivals ... Honestly the quality was so bomb, actually still is cause I bought it a 2nd time 🙂 anyway, it ended up having holes at the bottom of the bag, it was ripping for real. The front pocket turned into a mess of melted throat tablets cause I put it against the heating next to me in class. Never opened it again. There were earphones in that and for some reason a spoon too 😂 I've been careful with it, thrown with it. Everything 22: are you a morning person?I wish I was, like I really wish I could get out of bed easily and start my day but instead I either don't wake up or I do as a zombie and need a lot of snooze moments 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Watch tv series and movies, no doubt about it. It's my way of escaping life and I love it a lot 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yes there is, you 🙂25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I don't think I've ever broken into a place. Only an abandoned castle but it doesn't have doors so like..... But I've also had to climb through a window at home cause I forgot my key and no one was home so but does that even count idk26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?Rn my black vans but I've only had them for over half a year now so it doesn't really count. However my first pair of vans ever when I was 12 something I wore with everything. They were my all time go to, super comfy and easy to put on. I wore them for years like at some point the side was coming loose and you vould see my socks like with both shoes even and I still wore them 😂 it was horrible, I was attached to them and couldn't let go. My mom had suggested throwing them away a couple of times but I refused. She eventually took matters into her own hands and threw them away. I fished them back and I still have them somewhere.....27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Vanilla mint or peppermint, either really 28: sunrise or sunset?I think both have their own charms really. I can't choose like the sunrise is the start of the day, early in the morning when the world is just waking up while a sunset is when everyone is coming alive. Both colors are vibrant, light up the soul 🌄🌅29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?I don't really know actually. I think it has to be when a friend of mine talks about how much he loves his gf, he absolutely adores her and like it's as if he's in heaven when he talks about her30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Yes, many times actually 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Oh my... I love socks. I have so many different socks and it's just yes. I love weird socks, I have socks with a cactus on it but also with the brightest colors possible, dots all over or flowers. I had a period of time where I would wear 2 different socks 😂 I'm all about fluffy socks too to wear at home. I sleep with socks when my feet feel like ice cubes and I can't warm them up but halfway through the night I'll get crazy annoyed and take them off. White socks are weird and boring. They make me think of white dads wearing sandals..... 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.Have I ever been awake even after 3 with friends hahahahah oh wait I know. We were all asleep but I woke up once and found myself in like my own drool for some reason and I went like "oh fuck" so I moved my ass and made it seem like it wasn't from me just in case anyone would see it 😳33: what’s your fave pastry?Hmmm I love so many tbh. I think one of my favs is the one with frangipane in the middle like that shit is to die for. If they have it, guaranteed I'll pick that one 🤤34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I actually didn't have a stuffed animal, at least my fav wasn't one. I carried around a pillow case. My mom used to work at night and I couldn't fall asleep so my dad took my mom's used pillow case and put me to sleep with it. I never let it go again. It was white with blue stripes and I still have it. As for a stuffed animal, I did have one actually, called Stippel. A ladybug hahaha. I might still have it somewhere35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I do like those but never use them, I only use really simple and cheap pens because I don't write much anymore 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Hmm maybe A Day to Remember. Nothing too cheery but powerful or Papa Roach, same thing37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I like keeping it clean but rarely do so actually. Laziness gets the best of me 🙄38: tell us about your pet peeves!I think people desperately fishing for compliments is one and another is people making comments about another person's appearance. In the sense that it's often rude and with disregard of their feelings or the possible effects of it. I have more I think but these 2 come to mind right away 39: what color do you wear the most?Grey/black, I do try to wear more color since I've started to like that more and appreciate it too. However my closet is still mostly dark 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a pair of earrings, cherries. My brother got them for me when I was younger, thought they looked cute and chose them for me. If I remember it right he even paid for it with the money he got for like birthdays etc so I cherish them dearly 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?That has to be "My favorite mistake", it's one of the last ones I remember reading. It's a really nice love story and also has a lot to do with letting your walls down and letting someone special in 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I do actually, it's in Leuven. It's super tiny but it has like fake plants all over it and the front is entirely made of glass. There's a little bar and people can use iPads there. They have the best coffee I ever had tbh. Like so many special kinds too. They also have fresh smoothies and juices, along with a variety of tea43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?My mom hahahaha 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?I actually don't remember a moment like that, things have been too much lately. Even in my sleep I haven't felt at peace 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I never do actually or at least not a lot. I always think I'm wrong about everything and jusy have very little faith in myself and my abilities46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I clogged the toilet, it was a shitty situation. I need to go to hell I swear 😂😂😂47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Lobster and goose liver, both include torture so I'm against it heavily. Have never and will never eat it 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Probably the dark and being abandoned so yes both are still the same hahaha 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I do like it actually and there's something very classy about records, I just love it. Hope to own one myself one day, a recordplayer. The last one I bought was for my mom actually, of Oscar and the wolf50: what’s an odd thing you collect?Screenshots ☺ hahahaha no idk I collected Little Petshop animals as a kid, Me to You bears and I still collect gems so 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Robin Schulz & Richard Judge - Show me love 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Oh the couple one where the guy looks at the 2nd girl and then the uh Joe Biden ones too idk many really 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I've unfortunately never watched any of those but they are all on my list to watch actually, all classics and I love those 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?My mom's yesterday after leaving my dog at the vet.. She teared up badly55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?I don't think I've ever done something truly dramatic to prove a point really 🤔 I don't recall anything at least56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- An amazing sense of humor- Listening skills- Care for animals- Adventure oriented- Respecting, being real- Honesty- ... 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Hahahahaha this song always gets to me and does make me dramatically reenact the lyrics. I once sang this one with friends and we filmed it, tried to make our own music video on it. It was a flop for sure but we had the best time58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?Jolien is the wine mom, also because she has a glass of wine often and I'm definitely the vodka aunt, it's me 😇 59: what’s your favorite myth?"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." - Plato 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I love poetry, I've been quite busy with it myself at some point. I think Shakespeare's sonnets are some of my favs along With Edgar Allan Poe's. Both are true geniuses 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I don't know if I've ever given a stupid gift, not to brag but I always go for something personal. Pick up on the things people mention and get them something like that so they're never really disappointed and also don't consider their gifts stupid. As for the stupidest I've ever received, I have no idea again. I'd say something like underwear but I actually love getting that so 🤷‍♀️ hahahaha 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I don't actually 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?My music I don't have organized, unless it's like a file on my laptop but my books are definitely all nicely put on their shelve and in a way that it goes from like the biggest book to the smallest 😂 so I'm not that strict but I also don't like for them to be in any other order than that so 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Dark dark daaaaark blue. It's almost midnight so65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?No one actually, I'm fine on my own and don't feel the need to hang out with anyone whatsoever66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Pretty simple, faded pink with white or either bright/dark red with white. I think those are beautiful colors67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I love it even though it also scares me. It feels idk empty but like a peaceful kind, like the world has stopped spinning for a bit and you can really take a deep breath 68: what’s winter like where you live?It snows for like 3 days, the whole country is in panic. The ER is flooded, car accidents everywhere. The trains stop working and the busses don't show up. The rest is rain and cold 😂69: what are your favorite board games?Hmm monopoly, "mens erger je niet" (sorry don't know the English translation) and yahtzee 70: have you ever used a ouija board?No never and even though I'm curious, I'm also way too scared to try it because I believe in ghosts/spirits so much71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Something forest fruit ish, it's perfect really. But I love many kinds. Citrus and red fruits, apple/cinnamon, earl grey, ...72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I definitely have to note things down but even that I often forget 😂 my organizing skills are uh not so present 73: what are some of your worst habits?Acting very childish is the worst one for sure. Aside from that leaving things messy and procrastinating are my other worst ones. Trying to work on all, bit by bit but old and bad habits die hard 😕74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns./ these are weird questions75: tell us about your pets!Vinkie: he's a bird that fell out of the nest into our garden but with the cats living here he would've quickly died so we took him in and took care of him, fed him and he's been with us for over 5 years now. Singing to us 🙂Whisper: he's an agapornis, mini parrot. He's something else. He makes a loooot of noise so his name is quite ironic. He has a big ass cage where he flies and climbs around in. Whenever there's music on he will whistle along. He jumps up when we walk by too fast but when the cat is sitting next to his cage he'll try to grab their tails 😂 same for the dogs.....Chanel: she's a rescue dog from Greece. She came to us as a foster but we all, my brother mostly, got attached to her so we decided to keep her. She's really smart, she knows how to open doors and even flip the keys. She follows her nose wherever it takes her, even if that means jumping over a 1m50 gate and take herself for a walk. We run after her nearly daily but she's a sweetheart. She adores to cuddle and is extremely soft. She's also made of elastic and has a crazy flexibilityIdéfix: my little man. Tossed in a dumpster in a plastic bag, comes from Spain. He's a real cutie, will do whatever to be able to be close to me and lie on my lap. He's also a little bastard that knows exactly how to jump on the table, dressoir, chairs and garden table. He snores and sighs like the cutest. He loves fruit and even pickles Sky: she's a cane corso, big girl. But a real sweety too. She loves cuddles and if she could then she would get on my lap as well which she actually does. She uses her size to her advantage to sit on top of Idéfix to get his spot. She drools like crazy when waiting for her food. She adores snow and waterAtalo: the boss at home. He's Idéfix's best friend. He's a very loyal dog, sometimes stubborn asf though. He is very gentle and will always take a treat with his tongue and not his teeth. He watches over his pack like a real guard dog and when crying he will wipe the tears away. He comes from Greece Lucky: we took her home with us when we went on a trip to Greece. She was only 2 weeks old and we bottle fed her. She's a real badass. She will smack me to let me know she needs food and she yells to get inside or go outside. She like sleeping under blankets close to whoever she's sharing the bed withJoy: she's a bully, she will slap the others when they walk by and she bites everyone who pets her but asks to be pet. She's a little fatty and looks really funny when she runs. Occasionaly she gets on my lap for cuddlesKyoko: I can carry her around like a baby and she will attack when I try to put her down cause she doesn't want that. She's really sweet and tries to cuddle with the dogs when they're near her. She does kinda live at the back of the house cause the rest is too busy for her 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?I guess summarizing but I wanted to take a break so I guess I don't have to do anything rn and can answer these questions to keep myself entertained and distracted 77: pink or yellow lemonade?Yellow well or orange 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Fanclub, they're fucking adorable and clumsy. I get why some might get annoyed by the little guys but I mean come on, they're just animated movie characters like the fuss was a bit too extreme 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?The person I love most has done many cute things for me. Took a picture of 2 flowers that reminded him of us. But he also writes stories, one in particular about Poppy and Wormy which warmed my heart. His entire presence is the cutest thing ever to me 🍅80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?They're dark brown, light green and cream color. I chose all because of their earthly tones and idk I like having warm, calming tones. Green also used to be my absolute fav color 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of./ again really odd and I don't even remember their eyes..... Woops 82: are/were you good in school?I used to be in elementary, then started slacking once high school started. Got better again, started slacking again. Graduated high school, barely. Then dropped out of uni and trying to make it in college rn so we'll see how "good" I am once the exams have passed83: what’s some of your favorite album art?/84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?I'm not planning on anything, even though I'm always thinking of it because of the love I have for tattoos but rn idk, I need to be more sure before I can say I have an actual idea. I want it to be meaningful but also not mainstream85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I don't hahaha, I'd love to one day though 86: do you like concept albums? which ones?I'm pretty sure idek what those are. Lemme google real quick, ok do I don't know any but the idea seems really cool to me 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Every single Disney classic obviously. But also uhm 🤔 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Is Banksy a movement? 🤔 cause then yes, aside from that I really have no idea how to interpret this question so please bare with my stupidity 89: are you close to your parents?I am really close with my mom, a lot more distant with my dad but it's okay90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Venice; it's so dreamy there. It's almost unreal like the lives are so different there. The streets are made out of water most of the time, everything goes by boat or on foot. It's so beautiful like the buildings are really something else, incredible architecture. Very colorful and the little gardens here and there brighten it up. But also the squares are super cozy, benches and trees everywhere, surrounded by houses. When I went there it was raining so everyone was walking around with all different kinds of umbrellas, in the small streets there was the occasional bump and hair drag. I loved the small stores, they sell beautiful masks there that made me dream of a masked ball. And the food, my god the food 😩91: where do you plan on traveling this year?Nowhere unfortunately hahaha but it's okay, have many more years to come so I can wait 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?When I was little I didn't want aaaaaany cheese on my pasta and at this point in my life I prefer to drown my pasta in it. Just the way it melts ugh fuck it's perfect 🍝🧀93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Loose hair, sometimes a ponytail or a bun 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My mom, the 17th of December 😍🎉🎈95: what are your plans for this weekend?Studying my ass off for the upcoming exams that I'm extremely anxious about but oh well, can't escape it.... Unfortunately 🙄96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?The last update I procrastinated for nearly 3 months.... So you tell me HAHAHAHA I know it takes hours and usually when I'm on my laptop, I really need it right then and there so it sucks and then I forget. The update took 4 hours so, you get it 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?Myer Briggs type: INFPZodiac sign: Aquarius Hogwarts house: I like to believe I'm Gryffindor 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?I can't remember the last time I went hiking, I think it's been almost 2 years, yes something like that. When I went to Italy in 201699: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- Tell me you love me by Demi Lovato- I'll be good by Jaymes Young - Love the way you lie by Rihanna & Eminem- OK by Robin Schulz & James Blunt- Praying by Kesha- High hopes by Kodaline.... I love you 💙

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ladyloveandjustice · 7 years ago

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PLVAA P13- “A taste of despair” yep that’s an accurate description of life without Maya in it

Nick is dealing with Maya’s apparent death the way he deals with all grief: by repressing the fuck out of it and pretending things are cool. He keeps spacing out and not paying attention when everyone’s talking but then acts like he’s fine. NICK.

ugh here comes inqusitor Barnham their conversation is basically like this (Nick even gets TWO special angry animations for it, literally the first time in this entire game they are used)

Barnham: Defender Wright, I’m sorry about

Phoenix: HI I HATE YOU

Barnham: the loss of Maya Fey-

Phoenix: I. HATE. YOU.

B: okay but-

Phoenix: I FUCKING PROVED MAYA INNOCENT

B: okay i know that

Phoenix: BUT SHE’S STILL DEAD!!!

B: okay i’m saying-

Phoenix: I LITERALLY THOUGHT I COULD NEVER FIND A COURT WORSE THAN THE ONE AT HOME BUT WOW I FOUND ONE! WHERE IS JUSTICE? I WANT JUSTICE!

Barnham: you’re right

Phoenix: SHE WASN’T EVEN A WITCH OR WHATEVER THE HELL!

Barnham: what happens in the courtroom is my responsibility-

Phoenix: YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS PROSECUTOR WHATSYOURFACE!

Barnham: ok but

Phoneix: YOU GUYS LIKE MAGIC SO GODDAMN MUCH I DEMAND YOU CAST A SPELL AND BRING MY BEST FRIEND BACK DO YOU HEAR ME. CAST A SPELL! BRING MAYA BACK!!!! UNDEAD-IFY HER! HUMAN TRANSMUTATION PRONTO.

Barnham: okay that’s like. not possible. you watched fma right. But look, you can kill me if it makes you feel better. It seems like you really want to do that? So I’m giving you my permission?

Phoenix: THAT WOULD REQUIRE LOOKING AT YOU AND I DON’T WANNA SO GET THE HECK OUT OF MY FACE.

(in the distance): oh wait there they are

Luke: oh no Mr. Wright is yelling so much we’re gonna get captured:

Barnham: ok here’s how to escape

Luke: GREAT. Mr. Wright are you coming

Phoenix: idk i don’t care about anything rn

Luke: MR WRIGHT

Phoenix: fINE

honestly, same Phoenix

anyway they leave and Phoenix snaps out of it enough to realize he kinda almost got them captured and says sorry. “I GOTTA KEEP IT TOGETHER! THESE TWO NEED ME!” who is better at repressing horrible grief Phoenix or Apollo everyone take your votes

Phoenix also remembers Luke’s bff is dead rn too and thanks him for keeping it together. Luke is like “IT’S OKAY THEY’LL BOTH COME BACK I’LL FIGURE OUT HOW TO CAST RESURRECT” and Pheen’s like “yeah ok sure”

anyway we wander into rogue’s tavern and Pheen’s like “if Maya was here...she’d jump on the chandelier...and try to steal the candles...” until Maya comes back to life Phoenix is going to comment on everything he sees and be like “if maya was here...she’d steal that...” “if maya was here...she would be destroying that by now” “i wish...i wish maya was here... to kick that person’s ass...”

wow a hot pirate lady is boss of this tavern of rogues i approve. She’s nice too. she tells luke he’s very level headed for someone so young “but what’s wrong with your friend there” and luke is like “oh don’t mind him he just saw his best friend burned alive but he’ll be fine by tomorrow that’s how long the grieving process takes im told”

Maya may be dead but that doesn’t mean Phoenix doesn’t have enough energy to insult any crappy art he sees

Nick can’t sleep he’s too depressed over Maya. BUT HE’LL BE FINE BY TOMORROW RIGHT LUKE.

Nick decides the solution is to get grape juice get drunk “get a glass of water” at the tavern.

okay the liquid glass is purple it is not water.

aaaaa this is suffering i care about Nick and Maya too much even this stupid crossover game is getting me

Nick: (about Luke) He seems to be....in good spirits but he just...lost someone very dear to him. I’m sure deep down he’s hurting... And Espella was nearly burned alive. And I can’t stop thinking Maya’s death was all my fault. But I...I need to be stronger. But I’m scared. I’m scared what happened to Maya will happen again. I’m the only one who can protect the two of them but it feels...hopeless.

OH NO A MUSIC BOX VERSION OF TURNABOUT SISTERS IS PLAYING WHYYYY

now Nick’s all “I CAN’T FORGIVE MYSELF” “Maya gave her life to save Espella! If only I’d been quicker she’d...she’d still be by my side..!” Nick there were like three guys on top of you it’s not a matter of being quick.

SERIOUSLY MUSIC BOX TURNABOUT SISTERS IS UNFAIR.

Luke overhears and is all depressed too. THIS IS A FUN GAME.FUN TIMES.

It really is a good thing here because Luke is all “I’LL DO MY BEST MR. WRIGHT” and Nick’s inclination to dad any and all children who come his way distracts him from his overwhelming survivors guilt. THANK GOD FOR NICK’S DAD INSTINCTS.

#nev plays plvaa #ok imagine an fma au where nick actually does human transmutation here

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itswhay · 8 years ago

Note

you are going to hate me but... 1-100 :>

lmAo okay...

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

Cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes actually

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

shoe laces and ripped paper

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

sweet as fuck

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I never smile w my teeth so I guess

6: do you keep plants?

I gave a lil succ named John Stamos

7: do you name your plants?

^^^^^

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Photography ? I guess I also write on a p blog everyday

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yeah ig

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

you wouldn’t get it

12: what's your favorite planet?

Saturn

13: what's something that made you smile today?

This girl said my outfit was cute

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

cozy

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

All of space is completely silent

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

probs anything w cheese and tomatoes and ground beef

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I dont lmao #beentheredonethatoverit

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Nothing im perfect lmaooooooooo

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

yeeeeeee and none ya fckn biz... but like for real I write about my day in detail and how im currently feeling about people bc I forget things really easily and I want to remember my life ?????

20: what's your favorite eye color?

i don have one all y’alls eyes are beaut

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I have like this embroidery elephant bag that got at a festival when I first moved to colorado

22: are you a morning person?

lmao no

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

I like to sit on the back porch on the couch and drink coffee and nap

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes @ daron

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

my own house damnnn gurrlll willldddd

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

currently pink hightop converses but the shoes I had for the longest time was a pair of purple low tops

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

PoLaR iCe

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

lmao ummmmm Nicole holds your hand when you sit near her

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

lmao yea

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I nEVer sleep in socks. But like socks are sick, never only wear white socks

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

lots of things that if im being honest i dont feel like reminiscing about rn bc im tired

33: what's your fave pastry?

muffins

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I had this GiaNT mouse I mean lik e it was huge

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I love... I write letters and postcards to people

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

Probs Elvis like always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

I like it clean but usually it messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves?

People hiding things, acting like a different person than who they are, being a bad friend bc you want to seem cool to someone else

39: what color do you wear the most?

Pink and Black prob

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

yeah boi The longest amethyst pendant I wear my grandma gave me, the shorter one my mom gave me. I used to have this moon necklace I would wear literally everyday and was very important to me but I lost it at a show and Im still sad about it

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

Joel Grey’s book

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

Mutiny !!! its really sick and there mochas are so good and they have good heckin shows (also im obvi a starbucks bitch so...)

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

myself bitch I tell the moon to protect my loved ones every nite

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

On the beach in Savannah like pls take me back

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

100%

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

Imagine if you would hit the clock in the morning and the clock would hit you right back. -I think it would be truly alarming.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Ketchup

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Needles and yea

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

Cds uhhhh last was probs placebo

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Musiclas on VHS

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

person not named -- song: hold on to me placebo

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the blinky guy

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

lmao yea they good

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

I heard it in there voice too and it was last week and It hurts to see someone so sad

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

well i can say that I did not join the frisbee team to prove a point

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

lmao being nice and happy at least some of the time passionate about things and seeks to be happy and fulfilled

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

yeah but also that song makes me sad

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Im both fuck me up

59: what's your favorite myth?

my love life *that weird drum sound thng when some1 makes a joke*

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yeah

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

to tired to answer this

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

orange

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

leave em be

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

dark

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

yeah I was supposed to see zack but then it fell through so that should happen soon

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

d a i s i e s

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I like it

68: what's winter like where you live?

bad gross cold snow

69: what are your favorite board games?

clue

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

nah son dont fuck w that shit

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

rasberry

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yea

73: what are some of your worst habits?

got lots of them

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They are small short fuckn nerd but

75: tell us about your pets!

I l o v e them

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

sleeping >

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I hate those yeloow bitches

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theres like this giant mountain mural... mountians... just mean,,,, so... much to me, lmao no we rent

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

pine tree w golden light shining through

82: are/were you good in school?

this semester im doing pretty good

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

lmao idfk

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yea a tcb in new mexico

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

yea wonder women ones like the old ones

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

?????

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Boy meets girl (my heart ) and girl happy

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

im s o tired im sorru

89: are you close to your parents?

yea

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Savannah

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

lots of places actually

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

drowns

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

short and out of the way

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Carla

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

work and I have a thing on sunday

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i ignore them

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

idr aquarius im slytherin

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

yes i did

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

nooooooo

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

neither thats a horrible question live life in the present and understand that each day is different and you should just enjoy what you can of them :)))

you right i do kinda hate u but its ok

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cheerstocrazy · 5 years ago

Text

Dates with Hippie

9/7 Met him from Hinge. We actually swiped right on each other a couple of years ago from Bumble, but I don’t think he remembers, and I only remember bc I stalked him and was making fun of him with PP abt a white guy loving India. He was really eager in conversations with me and replied hella quickly. He even told me I was cute TWICE, when he had never met me in person. He invited me to the mariachi festival at DTSA. I was thinking mariachi?? Whatever, be a good sport. Parking was a nightmare. Walked around bc he wasn’t replying to my texts, watched the mariachi on my own. Started walking toward Wursthaus and saw him, and thought hey, he’s pretty cool, tall, looks abt the same as his photos or even better. Called him to tell him I was there and asked where he was. I don’t think he took it as srsly as he should have. He wasn’t really talking to me?? And was more invested in the performances and also his cousin came, so he was with us the whole time. It was so weird. We weren’t really talking abt anything except what music we both liked. He also seemed to know everyone in DTSA. He went to fix the sound when the girl’s PA wasn’t working. I was thinking wtf, you’re supposed to be on a date WITH ME, talking TO ME. Here you are leaving me alone and talking to other people. My parking meter was going to expire in 90 mins, and I was thinking abt booking it then. I was over watching the girl at the stage, so he said we should go to the mariachi stage to catch his friends. I wanted a drink and mentioned that too….saying I wanted a Michelada. It was 10 bucks, such a scam!! And I was like can we pleaseeeeee go get a drink, I’M DYING!!!! We went to Vacation bar and got a batshit host who talked too much. We got Mezcal drinks, and he was asking me abt my spirit animal, and I straight up said Joanne the scammer. Then he said no, a literal animal, so I said a sloth lol. Then after I heard their way better answers, I was like have you guys thought abt this in detail? I asked what animal is a savage. And they probed me abt how savage I was. I replied: I am the most savage person you have ever met. I’m withholding it rn bc you guys aren’t ready for who I really am. Randal said trust me, you can’t shock me, just be who you really are. That’s what I want to know abt people, who they really are and upfront so I’m not shocked later on. I was like you have no idea who I am. And I’m savage for a reason, you don’t know what my intentions are. You have to know if I’m actually a good person or not, and you need way more context to get what I’m saying. My savagery isn’t from malice, it’s for fun and bc I’m evil. They also insulted me correct gif pronunciation. He asked me abt Jorja Smith. I said I would reincarnate as her. We shit on the govt a little bit, and I said whatever you feel, I feel it 5x stronger. Idr the rest, we left to go back to the mariachi. He saw more of his friends, he was planning on hanging out with his group of friends then he lost them. We ended up going to The Gypsy Den, so his cousin could pee. I also finally checked my phone to realize my PARKING METER HAD EXPIRED FOR OVER AN HR. I WAS FREAKING OUT. I CAN’T AFFORD A TICKET!!!! I ran back to find out someone had put more money in my meter. YOU FREAKING ANGEL!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!!! The car behind me had been ticketed. I am so lucky. Bless up. There are good people in the universe. He asked me do you have rhythm? I was like with what? Dancing? Yes ofc, I’m not a gringo. I came back and we went to an art gallery. Randall asked me what my thoughts were. Me: I don’t like this art/paintings. It’s all dumb and I don’t get it. We went to this other gallery area and he asked me what my thoughts were on this seemingly Japanese and Native American painting. To which I replied, cultural appropriation. I said I would need more context from this artist to see if he/she really understand the history of these people and how their paintings were highlighting anything abt these cultures. We went into another exhibit, and Idk what lead us to this topic, but I said we need more diversity in art, that goes across literature, music, etc. And that there are a lot of good people in the world, but the bad ones are what you remember. I agreed, but my line of thought was more that the bad have so much power. It fucking sucks knowing I can’t do anything abt it. I said I come from a place of a lot of privilege and I want to lift everyone too. Why do the bad people want to suppress and oppress people?? After this, we wanted to go get drinks but his cousin wanted food, so he FINALLY LEFT, SO WE COULD TALK ALONE. We watched this older group of men perform some surfy music, which was not bad at all. I enjoyed it a lot. It was funny bc everyone stood in this whole ass perimeter away from the musicians. Idky they self-segregated, it made me laugh. If nothing else, this is what I’ll take away from Randall’s date with me. We were laughing at this one lady who was dancing in the middle and recording some of the band. I referenced Kris Jenner’s You’re doing amazing, sweetie, and he didn’t get it smh. By now, he had put his arm around me and was lightly touching me. It was a bit past 10 and his cousin and he were talking abt leaving. He said there was a mezcalero close to his apt, and that I could stop by…...if I wanted, so yeah…..He said it so awkwardly, both his cousin and I were like why’d you have to say it like that?? And he replied, bc that’s who I am...that’s me. Then they both stared at me for an answer, and I said stop staring at me, it’s making me uncomfortable. I said I’d come. Parking was horrible. I drank more than I ate yday. I texted him I was there, and he came outside. We walked to the mezcal bar, and the service was shat bc the bartenders were so busy so he asked if I had heard of the Blind Donkey, so we went there instead. Neither of us had been there before, but it was pretty poppin. We got our drinks and I stupidly walked us back out to the entrance thinking it was the upstairs lmao idiot. We sat on a random couch, but it was too loud, so we moved back behind the speakers. They were playing throwback indie bangers, and I was loving. They played Banquet by Bloc Party, and An Honest Mistake by the Bravery. I was like ugh so good, I was sitting dancing, then when Gorillaz DARE came on, I was like okay let’s go dance, and grabbed his hand. He wasn’t a horrible dancer, could use more rhythm, but he was legitimately dancing and having fun, which is what I appreciate! They kept playing really good shit, then he went to dance behind me and sometimes he would wrap his arms around me and hold me which felt nice. And I think his head rested perfectly over my head bc I’m that small. I turned around at one point and kissed him, and he’s not a bad kisser at all. I liked it/him a lot. 8/10. I expect nothing less than his caliber of kissing...Males should not kiss like wet fish or be sloppy. You guys are all old and have had multiple gfs!!! All I have to say for these 90 minutes was that I had a blast, and it was so much fun, and it’ll probably go down as one of my favorite nights of this year. I’m pretty sure we were the only ones dancing at most points of the night, and I DIDN’T EVEN CARE. I am wayyy too tired to process everything, but I had a ton of fun. I mean the latter half of the night will be part of that best night of the year too. Dancing with someone remotely familiar who knows the music is always a fun experience. I asked to leave to get some fresh air, and we hugged outside. He said let’s go take a walk. Not sure what we talked about, but it was nice to be on empty streets walking around. We held hands the entire time. The topic of drugs came up, and I was saying I understand why people take drugs to cope with life bc it’s so fucking hard sometimes, and it’s so overwhelming. It’s hard to deal with it on your own. It’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. It feels like a hell hole. He said something along the lines of yeah, I’ve succumbed a few times. I’ve fallen into a depression and went to sleep not wanting to wake up bc there was nothing going for me. Then we got back to his apt area, and we sat on some random steps. Not really sure what we spoke abt here or what his game plan was. He put his arm around me and we chilled. And I kept looking to the left bc I didn’t want to make eye contact to the right O_O He lightly tapped me on my shoulder, so I turned around, then he immediately kissed me (which was so smooth). He’s a great kisser. I liked his rhythm and style. He does the triple lingering kiss at the end which is my favorite thing. He also caresses me full body which is nice too. I’m not that affectionate...so...I’ll work on that. He kissed me all throughout my neck, shoulders, ears. He’s pretty good. At one point, I put my legs over his leg, and it got more intense. He started caressing my legs and going up my thighs. I told myself I wouldn’t get WGW or have sex tonight. Generally, my hand goes immediately to a man’s crotch and I tried to remain as restrained as possible. Then he started going close to my underwear or over it, so I was like yo, 2 can play at this game. And I already knew he had been hard for probably hours, so I grabbed it from outside his pants..and he was wet already. I rubbed his balls, and I could hear him moaning in my ear. He kept putting his hand through my hair to kiss me more intensely, and all I could think was I’M BALD. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. YOU’RE LITERALLY TAKING HAIR OUT!!! My life is already so difficult ); I think earlier he had asked if I was going to drive home or wanted to stay over, and I said I can drive home. He said good bc he lived in a studio and space was limited. Then ¾ into the makeout session, that was TAKING FOREVER with SO MANY PEOPLE PASSING BY AND WATCHING AND SEEING MY CROTCH FLASHED, he whispered, do you really have to go home, can’t you just stay? I didn’t reply. Then this one guy with LLD who made a lot of noise passed by us, so I stopped and looked at him. He laughed….then later he asked can we go to your car and do this in a not so sketchy spot. We are not 17!!!! You are too big for my car anyway. This is fine--there is space here! At points, we would stop kissing and I hugged him tight and rested my head on his shoulder to enjoy the moment, intimacy, and silence. I almost wanted to say this is nice, thanks. Thank god, I didn’t. I also wanted to pull out my phone and soundtrack this scene to Heartbeats by Jose Gonazlez, but that’d be TOO CHEEZY. One time I rested my head on his shoulder and was closing my eyes bc I was so sleepy!!! He’s like are you sleeping??? Bitch I MIGHT BE. I always thought he would finish kissing me after we ended with our lingering kisses, then he’d come back for more. Finally, I said I’m gonna head out bc I’m so tired. He said he’d walk me. We held hands and he walked me back. I said I still have my gum in my mouth, it’s called talent. We kissed AGAIN at the car, then he squeezed me tight and let me go. Told me to drive home safe and light slapped my ass. I was so tired. I still am. How do I feel about all of this? It was a nice and fun night. Did it beat the effortlessness and ease of convo with Liorr? No...But I generally don’t kiss anyone I kind of like/who has potential on the first date. We made out for an entire fucking hour. Holy fuck, NO WATER, NUFFIN. That’s impressive m8. We hung out for about 9 hours. That’s A LONG ASS TIME. I didn’t necessarily feel an intense connection/chemistry, but that’s bc Idk him. There weren’t any red flags for me. Whenever I expressed my opinion, he would validate it and build upon it which is refreshing considering most guys would become defensive and be quick to strike my opinion down. You asked for it, you twats. If you asked me for a perfect date, it would be either be dancing + drinks at a festival/bar, and I got that. I had a fucking blast. Imagine if I actually had a FESTIVAL BAE. WAH ALL I WANT IS TO BE HELD!!!

9/13 Date #2

Initial reactions: I felt so safe, seen, understood. It’s so easy. I’m shook. You know how after Tyler and Hannah’s date, Hannah said “I’ve never felt so respected”--that’s how I feel on a smaller scale. I like this d00d bc he has no ego and actually listens to me and replies directly to what I say. We’re so in sync physically, it’s stupid. It’s so easy to talk to him, and the way he holds me--everything. Kill me, I love his kisses; I love the way he smells. He’s way more romantic than me and so affectionate. I am stone cold, and he makes me not want to be that and reciprocate to maybe ⅓ of his level. Who raised him? They did so well! And all his exes did so WELL IN TEACHING HIM HOW TO TREAT A GIRL AND HOW TO KISS.

I think I like him. That was probably one of my favorite dates ever, if not my favorite date. It was so easy, relaxed, chill, low-key. He said he was leaving for HB early, and wasn’t texting me afterward, so I was kind of hesitant if he actually left or not. I was thinking, “What if I get stood up? Whatever, I can drink at the beach by myself. NBD” He did reply and said he was parked which made me feel relieved. I got out of the car and saw that he was parked and walking toward me. I’ll never get over how tall he is. He surely is taller than 6 ft!!! We walked toward the beach, talked abt our day. I saw that there was a patrol looking car driving along the street we were walking. It was a trash truck, and it was emptying/putting new bags along the walkway. We walked away, and somehow it would always end up behind us. Whatever. We mostly talked about drugs and his experiences with it. I opened a beer too while we talking. He talked abt his preference for psychedelics. He said he did acid while in India with a girl he met up with whom he had hooked up on and off for 3 years back when he was younger. He said the conversation they had while on acid was the reason they were able to maintain a friendship afterwards, otherwise that would’ve been over. Hmmm, cryptic. We finally got to the benches/tables I wanted to sit at, and I said my boots were hurting (which they were). It was pretty wet, but I put down my blanket for us to sit on it. We talked a lot abt his experiences traveling in Sri Lanka/India. I wanted to know more abt Sri Lanka and how he traveled there. He also said India is his favorite country and he wants to return again next year. I asked him what’s the pull for India? Why? He explained to me he liked the duality and chaos, the mix of wealth and poverty, there’s always a lot going on, etc. I said it’s so strange for me to hear someone who loves it so much when my experience was so different and frustrating. I talked abt the instance where we almost got sexually assaulted. He replied: yeah, sorry about that. That’s horrible, I can’t imagine how it is to travel as a girl there. I really appreciated that response. How many guys in the world would be able to apologize, validate me, and empathize? Maybe 3 people. When we sat next to each other, he always rubbed/caressed my back, and they were really good massages tbh!!! When I was telling my India story, he didn’t really do that anymore, sensing the urgency and conflict to come in my story. And Idk when he did this, but we were talking and he ended up resting his head on my shoulder leaning back into me, and it was so cute, I nearly died. I hadn’t been touching him or doing anything. He seemed to feel really comfortable. We talked a lot abt his marketing agency bg, and we talked abt being laid off and what we did after that. I think we were in this weird intertwined position. He hugged me from behind, and he was sitting to my left, but his head was on my right shoulder, so I leaned opp way..and he replied so basically we did the same shit and ran away, diff times. I told him I had the same birthday as Donald Trump and I could relate to him when I was 12 bc I’ve since grown up. When I was 11, I told a kid who stood up on a chair, “be careful not to break the chair!” My teacher, Thompson smh and was like Natalie, you can’t say shit like that. Hippie said he was never in a position to be a bully bc he moved schools when he was in 4th grade from Mississippi to Louisiana. He said he was a hillbilly and spoke with a different accent. I asked him what kind of accent it was, and he kept saying oh man, Idek how to do it anymore. Saying I reckon etcetc, and I laughed bc I hear that only in shows/movies and from British people. He told me I smelled nice. I said, “You do too! I can’t pinpoint the smell tho.” Him: I did shower! He said it’s probably my conditioner. I smelled his hair, and it was def his conditioner. He said when he was working at his agency, he was considered the nerd there bc he played video games and was weird, then he said when he went to work at Blizzard in Irvine, he felt like a jock bc he has interests outside of video games. I can’t even imagine how dweeby everyone is there. He kept saying how tough this year is for him, but he feels like with the changing of the seasons, fall feels like it’s gonna be better (I BETTER BE A PART OF IT). I was starting to get worked up abt my job and complaining, so he said we don’t have to talk abt work anymore and kissed me. We kissed for a long ass time, and he told me, “I really like kissing you.” I replied “I like kissing you, too.” Then he said something like, “I could just sit here and kiss you all night, it’s ridiculous. I especially love your bottom lip. It’s so *insert adjective I can’t recall thick? Juicy? plump?* He kept playfully kissing only my bottom lip, and it was so cute UGH KILL ME. He kissed every inch of my body, legs to arms, head to toe. HE KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND ;_; He kept telling me I was so cute. He asked me if we could go back somewhere, but I said none of us live near here. Funny tidbit: He fingered me (and it was really smooth and FUCKING GOOD. I think our sex would be incredible) then he when he ended, he licked each finger, and he said, “Damn, you taste so fucking good. Weird compliment, but it’s true.” I laughed. I was wearing my high-waisted shorts, and he kept trying to unzip from the front, and I told him the zipper is on the side. He asked why the belt was in the front? “Aesthetics.” He was super hard, but I didn’t want to go thru the trouble of unbuckling his belt and unzipping. He said you know you can undo my pants. So I did...and he asked if I could do it with one hand. And in my head, I was like BRUH PLS LEAVE IT TO THE EXPERT. During this period was when the trash picking up man kept going back and forth behind us making so much noise. I was like srsly??? WE’RE DOING STUFF HELLO. And people were walking at night too. It’s 2am!!! Why wouldn’t you walk during the daytime??? We hugged each other during these moments and laughed. It was a full moon this night, so the beach was so gorgeous and illuminated. When we finished, he said “I should put my dick away.” It was def above average and kind of long??? At the end of everything, when I was folding up the wet blanket, he came from behind and hugged/held me, saying you’re so freaking cute. We stood there and idk what to do but it felt so nice, safe, warm. *cries* He kissed my neck and did the sideways kiss (which I always find super fucking awkward and unromantic), but it was totally sweet and natural with him. I really relished the quiet moments between us. Then we walked back and were talking abt the govt, economics, and corporations. He and I agree on everything so whatever I said, he’d say too. He walked me to my car and we said bye. He held me and kissed me for an extended amt of time. He kept doing the lingering kisses and I couldn’t bring myself to leave. He’s my favorite kisser for sure. I remember thinking “not to be dramatic, but his kisses could bring world peace.”

9/18 Date #3 in Orange

There were so many things that annoyed me before the date. So he said hey I have the apt to myself, come hang out. I thought I was going to Long Beach. I think I worked a 10 hr day, and was like fuck I have to haul ass up to LB now. GREAT. I texted him I was headed out, then he said he was going to an open mic night in Orange. And I was like well wtf, we made plans and you’re just telling me this now? He always tells me things so last minute. I HATE IT.

Initial thoughts: I don’t think we’re compatible with each other. I don’t think we’re at the same points in our live bc I’ve just come out of my crisis (it’s been a year), and he’s in the thick of his. I don’t think he has enough security in his life to take on another human. And that’s fine--I’m not even needy (ok kind of) but self-sufficient. Not only is he not ready to be in a relationship, but I don’t think we want the same things right now either or have enough common ground. He’s into playing live music and his music collective; he’s spiritual, into yoga and rock climbing. I’m not into that at all. He’s going to a festival for a while, and it’s all spiritual meditation/yoga, which is my fucking nightmare. He never asks anything abt me. It’s mostly me asking questions and getting to know him. Maybe he was having an off day yday. He literally said “I need a place to live 10/1...and ya that’s not going” I’m pretty level-headed abt this, but also I don’t want to be with someone (even if it’s casual) at their best or normal self. I don’t want to be a burden or carry the weight of their burdens. Is that selfish??? I’m realizing this may not be in and taking it in stride. It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing or even something that endures. It could be temporary idk. I’m tempering my feelings for sure. I don’t think I’m the girl for him. I think I’d be a stabilizing force for him and a good ear to bounce ideas off and someone to whom he could vent, but what’s in that for me? I’m learning to be more selfish, not just with my standards, but what I get out of these things. I didn’t have as much fun this time as the last 2, but the bar was so high from the last 2. We can’t always be our best selves, but I’m always my best self when I’m with someone new. Interesting tidbit: He told me the first time he cried was 2012 to Brokeback Mountain. The moment I knew I wasn’t it: He described his dream house/living situation..He said he only wanted to live with musicians and wanted a spare room with a studio to host jam sessions, playing sessions, which is not to say he wants that exclusively and can’t like other things. But I’m so faaaaaaar from that and any other of his passions. I think he’s so invested in music and has tunnel vision with that, that he only wants to be surrounded by other people who want that, too, whereas most normal musicians have non-music friends too. This is me maybe assuming, but I think I’m astute. At the end of the night, we hugged bye and it felt so weird, and I didn’t know what was gonna happen. Bc the entire time, it felt like I was pulling out teeth to keep the conversation going, and he was so aloof and withdrawn. I would cater the convo to topics he liked, and he would give me depressing answers that took me aback. Like when I asked if he snowboarded, he said no, that could hurt my legs. He was so trite. Talked abt his ACL surgery, everything bad that he had experienced….I heard abt it. It was draining for me to listen and keep up a positive attitude and maintain any semblance of levity. At the end, he hugged me, told me to have fun, and have a safe drive out to Vegas. He held me for a bit, so Idk we ended up kissing. It felt empty. He dropped his skateboard and hydro before he kissed me, kind of clunky, kind of funny. I left feeling discouraged and frustrated.

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