#in a perfect world this would be an absolutely vile edit but i have never edited before lmaooo

[thecraftyninjacat]

is it really you standing there, or am i dreaming once more?

[yandere-wishes]

MONSTERS

👹 Yandere Ryomen Sukuna x Reader

👹Summary: Monsters aren’t born they're made, but Sukuna stumbles across the rare exception...

👹Warning: dehumanization, mention of gore, blood, slight dub-con mentioned in passing, death, past trauma, and abuse

👹 Edited: By the lovely @tealyjade-libran !

👹 Wordcount: 2,480

👹Alternative Tittle : If Roxanne ( from the Police song) lived in ancient Japan.

👹First Jujutsu kaisen fic! I hope you guys like it, please let me know your thoughts! Likes and reblogs appreciated!

Monsters were made. 

Slowly created as once blazing ideals, withered and died under harsh strokes of reality. Stitched together with broken promises and the ashes of rotting memories. 

Monsters were made

whisked into a role they once dreaded, once feared. Beaten into the role of the villain, the reprobate, the sinner. 

If anyone ever asked Sukuna when was the exact moment he turned his back on the laws of "good" and "evil", shedding his human skin to regrow a pelt of hate and destruction,

He would simply answer, "Never".

Because skin is skin no matter how much it decays. Even if the epidermis turns into a rotting orange shade, littered with eyeballs and teeth that shouldn't grow there.Even if the blood from all those he's slain has finally stained his dermis, tainting it in a permanent crimson that all the waters of Lake Biwa could never wash off. Even if his hypodermis is no longer made of fatty tissue but rather spiritual energy sucked from the atmosphere. It's still skin, the same old skin he was born with.

Sukuna had never shed his skin, he'd only perfected it, enhanced it, molded it into its perfect form, until he was no longer held back by foolish human limitations.

He'd never been "reborn" only recreated; only perfected. 

Spike, talon and teeth covered arms sprouting from oozing, bleeding scars, charred over by begriming infections that burned worse than the strikes he'd endured as a child. Knuckles and bones cracking over and over and over again until they grew as solid as the rocks that were thrown at him when he was all too little to understand the malice behind the insults and threats. Breaking until they could break no more, until they'd become strong enough to split a boulder with a mere flick.

There had come a time when he'd given up licking his wounds, leaving them to be kissed by the mold-covered worms who left an urticating sensation he'd soon come to associate with victory. Rotting flesh growing covered in thick layers of black tar tattoos that hid every cut he'd endured when he'd once been too weak. 

Monsters were created from quarter truths buried neck-deep in fables that snipped like red-eyed scorpions. 

Until the blood dancing through their veins was as black as the void they now called home. 

Sukuna knew the exact moment he realized he was a monster. The day he realized he liked the crunch of skulls beneath his feet, the pitiful spark in mortified eyes staring at the heavens for a scrap of mercy. Mangled mouths barely held together by fractured jaw bones, uttering prayers and pleas that died in the scorching air. 

Sukuna knew he was an abnormality, patched together by broken heirlooms and shattered family traditions. Sitting on a throne made from skulls of those who thought they could ever kill him. 

You can't kill a monster, for you can not kill that which was never born. 

You can't slay something made from good intentions with malevolent methods, something so vile that it might actually be pure. At the end of the day, no monster really admits that it is a monster, a nightmare that should have never existed. 

Yet...

Tattered hearts and cruel orbs are never quite enough. No monster is complete until they dive off that last edge, plummet into the sea of nothingness, and finally, finally break their souls on the spiked soil. Monsters, spirits, curses any malicious being that had been mended together like a half-done ragdoll was not complete until they truly let go. Until they erased all the former humanity that they had been born with. Until their eyes reflected nothing, no emotions, no malice, no want, no need. Just the absolute emptiness. 

The void in all its glory.

that was the symbol, the true markings of a real monstrosity. The void that took over their existence, that had replaced every inch of their former self. Only then could it be said that you were above all other beings, the true perfection of this world. 

There are worse things created than monsters, things that are made from nothing and everything. Things above "Yin" and "Yang". Things that have no scrap of humanity, monstrosity, or anything in them.

Things that are just empty.

So maybe -just maybe- that's why when Sukuna's rotting orange eyes landed on the epitome of emptiness, a...girl, whose face was sculpted to disreflect emotions and intents. Someone who was the void of darkness itself. The true personification of nothingness. 

His heart -for the first time in countless centuries- began to throb.

a truly dead face swarmed by a sea of buzzing ants, chasing their routine happiness. Smiles of delight and carelessness carved on their aging faces with sunlight knives and the melody of golden coins. The lust for life leaking from every pore of their bodies. 

With every face being a carbon copy of each other it was no wonder yours stood out.

There was a silver chain of attraction, dragging Sukuna towards the village girl. Not love, never love, the king of curses was beyond certain, that neither you nor he could feel such a honey-laced sensation. It was more like....something. Something paranormal, inexpiable. Some magnetic force outside of everything's control. 

It was easy enough to explain why he liked you. Why you stood out from the other insects of this middle-of-nowhere-village. 

You had dark matter for blood and dead seas for brains. 

Your eyes radiated an endless abyss. Making others shy away from your lifeless gaze. Scared to look into the void in fear that it may respond. 

You were a thrown away doll,

A living dead,

A dying star,

You were the daughter of the number zero,

The monster that had no maker nor mother. 

Something not born nor created. 

Just an entity that roamed the earth, with no desire nor hope, no wish nor dream. Not leaving, not dying, just existing in the space between today and tomorrow. 

There'd been no need for pleasantries, for hiding behind ghostly tree branches and frozen windows. There'd been no need to kill or ravage for you. No competition to eliminate, because no one ever came near you. Humans don't like what they can't explain, Sukuna knew that all too well. 

Sukuna watched from a close enough distance to almost touch. Lingering around like a phantom begging to be noticed. Orbs trailing over you, but never approaching. Until one day he'd just stood still. Waited for you to turn your head just a fraction to the left, just to see him in all his menacing terror. To finally notice the clawing, crawling sensation that had been creeping up your spine like a hoard of spiders. 

And when your dead eyes did finally land on him. Sukuna could swear that his breath hitched in his throat for the first time in his seemingly endless life.

You weren't human. Humans didn't have hollow faces or marbles for lips. 

You weren't a curse. Curses didn't lack venom dripping from their souls.

You were something better than a monster. You were the divinity of monstrosity, the void itself. Black holes for eyes, answerless paradoxes for hands, and an endless maze where your torso should have been. 

 Exploding suns danced around you, burning, burning, till they died out, leaving behind no trace that they once lit up the universe. 

The space after the end, that's what you were.

Perfect, to Sukuna you were perfect.

You hadn't run, hadn't screamed, hadn't even bothered to talk. You didn't care about him, couldn't care about him. That's what made him want you, made his mouth salivate with the thought of your flesh between his teeth. 

That night the world stood still, as Sukuna's claws penetrated your flesh like twirling needles. You were as light as a feather. You weighed nothing, were nothing. All so easy to pluck and throw about. You never made a noise when your body collided with the bamboo walls, just letting gravity and Sukuna play a twisted ball game with your lump of a body.

You hadn't protested when he violated you. As his lips bit every inch of your body raw. For some unearthly reason that even the gods couldn't understand, would never want to understand, you had found the Curse's violent actions rather...adoring. Taking every slap and slash with the earnest pride of a small child getting praised for a day of relentless chores. letting the dawn-tinted-haired monster adorn your body in blue and purple jewels. It felt right, in a  pathetically, nauseating, twisted way...it just felt right.

 It was disastrous, sure, but it was right. Like two universes crashing. Destroying each other with every kiss and every bruise. 

But...

For the first time in your meaningless life, you had truly understood what "happiness" felt like. 

For the first time in his endless life, Sukuna had truly understood what "intimacy" felt like.

///

Was it wrong to kiss you? For a fraction of a second Sukuna hesitated, blood tinged lips hovering millimeters away from your own stone-set ones. The moon's cursed rays acting like an unnoticed barrier, keeping two things out of each other's grasp. His lips curled back revealing two rows of knife-like teeth. The last resort, a final hope that you'd run away, that you'd act somewhat normal. The king of curses, the evil among men, didn't mind your lack of regularity. He didn't mind how you leaned into every bitter strike, every painful display of fading affection . He adored how you merely giggled as he slashed open your uncharged skin, creating slits for your blood to spill through, onto his waiting tongue. He admired your lifelessness, the way you radiated death. 

Oh, how you filled him with a startling aftershock every time he touched you. Every time his tongue lapped at your bleeding skin he'd feel the sort of electric shocks that came after the storms had passed. Your body had no shape, it molded to his touch, turning his favorite shades of red, with just a little pressure. 

But sometimes, in fleeting, endless seconds. He wished he had a name for what you two were. You weren't his per se, you could never be his. Being his would indicate that he cared about you, or heck even loved you and that could never be true. The king of curses did not love, nor care. He merely tolerated you; you fascinated him, that's all. 

It had been many moons since he first found you in that no-name village. Months upon months since you'd been by his side. You'd watched as he'd destroyed cities, helped him even. Eyes never shedding a single tear. Mouth never uttering a single protest. 

The two of you had become the best, the King of curses and the Queen of nothingness. With the dying speed of laboring bees, Sukuna had carved himself inside of you. Twisted emptiness into flower-covered destruction. Into molten gold lava. 

Leaving you with wounds that were stuck in a cycle of healing and opening. Until they began to harden like his. Until the need for spilled blood lingered on your tongue like the burn of boiled tea. Until under your nails were coated in a decaying crust of dried blood. Sukuna hadn't turned you into a monster, he'd simply showed you the powers that came with your apathy. With a heart as torn and cold as yours, it was a shame to let it go to waste. 

"You're not half bad," his tone is never approving. It's always laced with a strictness that keeps you nailed into place. His words are oxymorons sounding like praise, but once you peel back the lather layers they're just taunts in disguise. 

You don't answer, words die on your tongue as quickly as they are born. Sukuna can't even remember what your voice sounds like outside of small whispers in heat filled nights. 

 However, to the two of you, things like that didn't matter. Your lack of being even semi-alive and Sukuna's endless abuse had become a norm for the two of you. Where else were a two-faced monster and a lifeless girl going to find love anyway? 

Sukuna was all you had, all you ever had. You'd die for him, kill for him, turn into anything for him. Because he gave you life. 

A purpose to life, made out of raging fires and endless screams. A life fabricated from the pain and suffering of others. That was what the king of curses had given you, all wrapped in a human skin parchment. Maybe that's why all logic withered away the first night he kissed you, maybe from the first second that you sensed his presence you had finally gained a reason to be alive. 

///

Whoever said the end of the world was beautiful? Whoever said the final days would be bright and glowing and pure? 

It's just a blaze of stray flames and red crystal droplets that may or may not be your blood. Funny, Sukuna had always thought that your blood would be as black as the moonless sky, not a mundane red like everyone else's. He'd expected a grander death from you. Some sort of black hole opening to swallow the world whole. Not just another corpse motionless in a pool of their own blood. 

Although he's not one to talk. His own 'death' is lingering on the horizon. Sukuna's head tilts back looking for the flashing jujutsu sorcerers. 

"S-sukun-a..." 

He smirks, fangs sticking out at odd angles. Your voice is sweet, for the first time in forever he'd even dare say it held some semblance of emotion. 

What that emotion is, he doubts he knows or even really cares. He'd long since stopped trying to identify all those "feelings" and their associated names. 

His orange eyes lock with your fading orbs, one last time. No, not the last time, just the final time in this lifetime. He's sure he's going to see you again. In any other life, Sukuna knows he'll be able to recognize you despite whatever flesh suit you'd be wearing. 

"Shh little one," he's halfway gone before he finishes his sentence, leaving you to relish in his memory in your final moments. "We'll see each other once more, someday in another life..."

His four eyes lock on the approaching sorcerers. He finds it humorous how desperate they look. How alive and ready they seem, such a stark contrast to your ever lifeless face and dead eyes, it repulses him. 

"Or maybe in one of the circles of hell." 

The flames encircling his fingers remind him of the heat your body radiated in the dead of night. The crack from bones hum as they meet his knuckles, flash memories of your days wasted together doing nothing and everything. 

The two of you will meet once more, he's sure of it. After all...

Monsters never die. 

How could something that was never even born in the first place, ever die?

[julethiefs]

carmen sandiego as the jatp soundtrack

actually yes i am going to combine my two favorite tv shows and you can’t stop me <33

now or never

“clocks move forward // but we don't get older, no”

“keep dreaming like we’re living forever // but live it like it’s now or never”

“and even if we hit the ground, we’ll keep flying”

this song just ??? *screams* carmen right after she escaped vile... her being so excited to explore the world and not caring about falling down and her enthusiasm to stop vile without really knowing what they’re like yet... yeah 

wake up

“get out, get out, relight that spark”

“its not what you lost, its what you’ll gain”

“better wake those demons, look them in the eye”

this song has such jules vibes (jules is definitely julie in this hypothetical au... even besides the names its just so perfect), and besides the fact that julia’s mom is also dead (see necklace theory) jules finding this song and singing it would be so amazing i cannot handle this 

this band is back

“we gotta get ready, cause its been years” 

“can you hear me” “LOUD AND CLEAR”

team red singing this band is back is something that can actually be so personal... 

bright

“life is a risk, but i will take it”

“we will fight to shine together, bright forever”

“together, i think that we can make it” 

do i. do i really have to say how much julethief this is. the way they shine and work well together, the way everything they do is the epitome of a risk but they do it anyways, the way together they can stop vile. yeah i’ll stop now 

flying solo

“my life, my life, would be real low, zero, flying solo”

“if somebody hurts you, im going to get hurt too”

yes i know this song is julie singing to flynn. in this au its jules singing to carmen (or vice versa idk) the amount of brainrot this au can hold... nobody mention stockholm but yeah it definitely fits and just. scream.

i got the music

“weight off my shoulders, dancing instead”

“can't stop the music // back inside my soul” 

i don’t even have coherent reasoning for this one i just think we should get to see jules sing this song and have player rap flynn’s parts. as a treat <3

the other side of hollywood

“we could go make history or you could rest in peace”

“everything has got a price but happiness is free”

“the rain don’t blind the rising souls // they got too much to see”

we all agree that hgc is basically vile but more dramatic and less green, right? also ive been trying to think of which of the faculty would be caleb in this au... i’m guessing countess cleo is the only one who could really pull it off well? but yeah... tr getting stuck at the hgc would be so so good and painrot

finally free

“hearts on fire // we’re no liars // so we say what we wanna say”

“i wanna fly // come alive // watch me fly”

“i got a spark in me” 

“been so long, and now we’re finally free” 

“now till eternity”

this is the ultimate julethief song actually i will not shut up about it (hence the excess of quotes). just !! the way its abt them not hiding anymore, “now till eternity” with “transcends space and time” ... yeah sounds like canon to me 😋  there’s so so so much quality content in this song i love it so much and just. this with julethief ???? my heart can’t handle this kind of excitement

perfect harmony

“bittersweet love story about a girl”

“two worlds collide when i’m with you” 

“we come to life when we’re in perfect harmony”

yes i know this was cs as jatp songs apparently somewhere along the line it dissolved into julethief but honestly are any of us surprised ??? its just so so perfect the way the lyrics describe them is just LGSHDAFLS “two worlds collide” (acme vs jules’s personal wants/desires) “in perfect harmony” *cough cought* did anyone mention the duane interview? no  ‘they work in harmony even when they’re not in the same scenes” yeah practically the same thing !!  (edit bc carmen pointed this out and i am screaming: perfect harmony is basically the tsonts dance scene and i cannot get over this) 

edge of great

“running from the past, tripping on the now” 

“what is lost can be found, its obvious”

“i believe that we’re just one dream // away from who we’re meant to be” 

“we’re standing on the edge of great” 

EDGE OF GREAT MY BELOVED !!! this song is SO iconic and you know whats even more iconic ??? the way it works so perfectly with carmen sandiego... carmen and jules post canon ?? 👀👀👀. i am looking at the lost/found line in particular for that but all of it works so so well (also side note but i would die if we got the classic juke nose scrunches with julethief actually)

unsaid emily

“i should have turned around // but i had too much pride” 

“and write in every empty space the words “i love you” in replace”

“the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave // unsaid emily”

to be honest this is the song that stumped me the most? it would take a bit of canon reconfiguring- either we’re making brunt more sympathetic (ew) or carmen grew up with carlotta and then had a falling out ??? i think that would make more sense, especially with carmen trying so hard to find her again after 25 years (the timeline matches closer than expected actually 👀 ) this song is peak painrot so have fun with this besties <33

you got nothing to lose

“ain’t nothing quite like living on the edge” 

“i’m chasing down a thrill, looking fit to kill” 

“you got nothing to lose, boys”

this scene would be so terrifying actually like, we already got the dark!carmen trauma so watching caleb have the ability to manipulate her would just be ABSOLUTE painrot *distant screaming* also the way the offer would be so tempting to team red ?? just bc carmens whole life is living on the edge, chasing down thrills, and being unable to settle down but she stays for jules i. yeah im soft what about it 

stand tall

“and it’s one, two, three, four times // i’ll try for one more night” 

“whatever happens // even if i’m the last standing // imma stand tall” 

“keep holding on, never look back” 

“i keep going on when it’s all falling apart // yeah i know it with all my heart”

thinking thoughts... julethief post canon with this song.... yeah i would be decimated on impact just the way jules thought carmen left but CARMEN COMES BACK.... canon ? i dont know her <33

in conclusion julethief/cs jatp au supremaki besties ♥️

[jae-daddy]

magic (4)

Draco Malfoy Fanfic 

one / two / three  / five / six

pairing: draco x reader genre: shifting realities, romance, clown shit plot: you mistaken shift realities too well and end up in harry potter universe with draco malfoy as your companion  a/n: i need to stop getting carried away and writing so much lmao. hope yall enjoy it <3 not edited

"Can’t you magic this, so it’s a bit bigger?” You walked out wearing the white and green jumper Draco got for you.

Draco just ignored you and straightened his collar. His hair brushed back, and the black suit stark against his pale skin.

He was undeniably the most attractive human you had ever seen. The TikTok, movies and pictures did not do justice to his beauty. The one that existed in your universe dulled down his beauty.

You had realised on the second night you spent here, that while Draco did look like Tom Felton, he was, in fact, not Tom Felton. It was him, but not him. It was Draco Malfoy. In this universe, no Tom Felton was playing the character, it was just Draco Malfoy, and he was magnificent.

Your eyes met his sliver ones through the reflection, making you frown as you gestured to your outfit.

“I was hoping for a more oversized, boyfriend’s-jersey aesthetic,” you muttered as you spun in front of the mirror. “I mean, it’s not bad, but a little bigger would just be perfect.”

“It won’t make a difference,” Draco sighed, as he turned to face you. “You will still remain a hideous muggle.”

You rolled your eyes at him, as he walked past you. “Not everything is about you Malfoy. This is about self-confidence and love.”

“Are you coming?” He ignored you, as he held the door open for you.

You looked at him with butterflies dancing in your stomach as your palms got sweaty. You gulped as you looked beyond him to the dark hallway outside.

Your eyes glanced at Draco’s face to find him watching you impatiently. You wiped your palms on the pair of joggers you had borrowed from Draco.

You were nervous. You had thought about leaving this room a thousand times over the past week, but now that the moment was here, you were scared.

What if you didn’t remain invisible? What if you’re somehow caught?

What would happen to you? What would happen to Draco?

Your shaky gaze fixed on Draco once more, and his face softened slightly as he gave you a small reassuring nod.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. With your fists clenched tightly by your side, you marched outside of the room. You felt yourself brush past Draco, and the door close behind you.

You remained still; your eyes shut tight as you stood there unmoving.

“Let’s go, muggle,” Draco whispered in your ear, making you jump. He looked at you his eyes lighting up with amusement as he smirked at you. He was enjoying seeing you so on the edge.

“I wouldn’t worry as much if I were you,” Draco pulled you by the elbow as he began strutting down the stretching hallway. “My parents have left for the game long ago, and no one is here to see you in all your disgusting muggle glory.”

You glared at his head, before relaxing by his side.

He led you through the maze, called Malfoy Mansion, until you were finally outside.

You almost hissed as the sunlight assaulted your eyes.

“I feel like a vampire,” you muttered, making Draco chuckle.

“You really do not want to feel like a vampire,” he snickered, making you turn to him with eyes wide in surprise.

“No way!” You gasped. “There are actual vampires here? Are they hot?”

Draco peered at you with absolute disgust, “I will choose to ignore whatever you just said.”

“I guess not then,” you sighed as you folded your arms and stomped behind him. You hoped you could get a little mixture of every supernatural fantasy, maybe dip your toe into the Twilight world before you returned home.

Your steps stopped as you approached a beautiful red car. It was a real vintage that you only saw in movies or sportscar conventions. The top was down, and you were ready for a vintage seventies trip.

“Wow,” you awed as you ran your fingers over the cool metal as you made your way to the passenger side.

“I know,” Draco smiled brightly, as he sat into the driver's seat.

You stared at him before snorting at his ridiculous actions.

“Does this car drive itself?” You snorted at him as he put on his sunglasses. He pointed to the middle, and just like magic, another pair appeared. You put them on rolling your eyes.

“It can,” he shrugged after a moment, before starting the engine with a button. “But I like driving it.”

“Draco, do you even have your license?” You quirked an eyebrow at the boy.

“Of course I do,” he sneered, but he was too happy to make it hateful. “The only reason I got this for my birthday last year was that I passed.”

“Aww,” you swooned at him, sarcastically. “Daddy bought you a nice car for your sweet sixteen?”

Draco smirked at you, bringing his glasses down a bit before winking, “I’m twenty-two.”

The car drove off speedily, as he rammed the pedal.

“Fuck off,” you shot back. “You’re still in high school.”

Draco just snickered, the wind blew through his hair. He rested his elbow on the edge, letting the wind run through his fingers. He smiled, as tilted his head back and you almost screamed at him to look at the road.

“We learned about your education system in muggle studies,” he spoke, not looking at you. “It is quite a scam, really. But we do not have what you muggles call universities. Hogwarts and other magical institutions teach everything you need to know.”

“Then how do you become a scholar?” You furrowed your eyebrows. It doesn’t make sense that education is limited to just a few years of study, and then expect wizards to know all.

“You work in that field, you dedicate your life to that magic,” he shrugged, before continuing. “The wizarding world is not built on capitalism where jobs are everything. Wizards do not need a job to survive.”

You nodded taking it all that in. You sunk into your seat and looked at the scene that rushed past you. It was beautiful.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still in Hogwarts,” you frowned at him.

Draco just sighed, annoyed. “Hogwarts is all the education a wizard needs. I shouldn’t have to spell out that would take some time. Each Hogwarts year is two years long.”

“The maths doesn’t add up.” You muttered, folding your arms as you turned away from him. You watched as the plain hills and lakes rushed by you.

You closed your eyes and welcomed the cold crisp wind jolting you awake.

“Don’t stress your pretty muggle mind,” was all Draco said.

__________

“Draco,” you stopped the blonde boy as he reached for another vile. “I know I’m not an expert at magic, but I do have a feeling that it is quite possible to overdose on potions.”

Draco stared at you, his eyes examining you and then the bottle in his hand. He sighed as he put in back.

“I guess two should be enough,” and then as an afterthought put two more into the inner pockets of his jacket. “Alright, stand still now.”

He pulled out a small jar from his bag and he opened it to reveal black paint. He dipped two fingers in before motioning you to come closer. You stood in between his parted legs, as he sat on the hood of his car parked a few miles away from where the Quidditch World Cup was taking place.

You gasped slightly as the cool paint touched your face. You tried hard not to look at Draco’s face, despite the burning feeling of his gaze fixed on you.

You gulped to calm your heart that was beating louder than it should be.

Draco’s fingers dragged along your cheek, leaving two lines. And then he held your chin with his thumb turning your face to the other side.

Your eyes met his piercing ones, and your breath got caught at the back off your throat.

God, you thought he was gorgeous from far away. But right now, from this close, you realised there were no words to describe just how incredibly good-looking he was. His skin was clear, soft and reminded you of snow-covered mountains in the middle of blooming winter. You realised his eyes weren’t blue or grey, no, there were a colour that reminded you of winter mornings.

You felt your cheeks heat as his eyes took you in.

You felt his fingers touch your face with the cool paint.

Draco took his time, his hands moving slowly as he softly ran his fingers along your cheeks. You didn’t want them to ever stop, you wanted it to continue.

You wanted his fingers to trace your ear, then travel down your neck, and keep moving south.

You bit your lip as your eyes shut involuntarily.

You could feel the vicious victory smile plastered smugly on Draco’s handsome face but you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes.

Draco’s fingers stopped on your cheek by your ear, and you thought it was over.

But then you felt the ghost of his touch trail down. His knuckles tracing the slope of your face for the slightest moment, and then it was gone.

He pushed you back, making your eyes shoot open.

You stared at him, glowering, before fear flashed through them as Draco pulled out his wand.

He snorted, as he rose a perfect eyebrow at you, “Scared, muggle?”

You rolled your eyes as you chuckled at him, “Are you trying to create sexual tension with me as you do with Harry Potter?”

Draco took a deep breath as if holding onto the last bit of self-control he had. He opened his eyes, burning with anger, his jaw locked.

“You’re not denying it,” you smirked, folding your arms.

“Do not test me, muggle,” he sneered, his voice dripping with so much anger, you took a step back in fear.  

The smirk fell from your lips as your eyes bounced between the ground and the vicious muggle-hating boy.

He cleared his throat after a moment, his stiff body relaxing slightly. You didn’t follow his shift in tension and remained on the edge of the road not nearing him.

Draco noticed but didn’t say anything.

“Time to make you invisible.” He got up from the car, and walked towards you, his wand dancing between his long fingers.

___________

“I’m so excited!” you giggled as you turned to a sour-faced Draco. “I’ve never gone to quidditch game before.”

“Lucky you,” he muttered, sourly, his eyes following you. “Your first game, and it is in the Minister’s box.”

You just giggled as you skipped along, only to stop when you noticed the older Malfoy laughing with some old man.

Draco came behind you, his breath brushing your ear, “Stay behind me.”

You nodded trailing behind him. 

You didn’t speak or move while you were around Lucius Malfoy. You weren’t sure if you were even breathing at times.

You must’ve been doing a good job because Draco would look over his shoulder occasionally to check if you were still there.

You watched Draco meet the other old men, and kept looking around for someone who might be suspicious.

It wasn’t until halfway through the game when Draco got up from his seat and turned to his father.

“Would it be alright for me to go greet Goyle and Crabbe?” He asked, his eyes darting to you for a split second. “I’ve spotted them down in first.”

Lucius Malfoy just waved a hand, but Draco didn’t need more as he began walking away, with you hot on his heels.

“Oh my god,” you whined as you both stopped somewhere on the stairs. “I couldn’t even enjoy the game properly I was so scared.”

Draco stared at you for a moment before snorting.

He pulled out a ticket from his coat, and then, after a second, a lady with a cart appeared.

“Greetings, sir,” the lady grinned, before gesturing to the cart. “What would you like?”

Draco lifted an eyebrow to you as you took in the delicious food displayed.

“Hotdogs?” You asked Draco who hadn’t looked away from you. “What is traditional to have at these games?”

“Two hotdogs,” Draco told the lady, and instantly two appeared in his hands. He didn’t say thank you, and the lady didn’t wait, disappearing right after.

He handed you one.

“Thank you,” you whispered, taking a big bite. You chewed the most delicious hotdog you had ever tasted, and Draco snickered as he saw your eyes widen.

You rolled your eyes as you saw him begin to gloat from the pride of his Wizard world, and how your muggle realm couldn’t even compare. He was right, but you couldn’t stand his smug face.

You sniffled as the cool wind ran through your hair. You looked out to the field where a team scored another goal.

“Good thing you got merch for the winning team,” you smiled at Draco who frowned.

“I was hoping they would lose.” He clipped back.

“You would rather have me visible, then stand next to you in clothes supporting the losing team, Draco,” you shook your head at him, giggling.

Draco looked out onto the field, “Or maybe I’m living through you.”

Your smile flattered as you took in the young boy.

There he was standing in the middle of the finals of the biggest quidditch tournament of the season. The crowds roaring behind him in the bright stadium lights as he remained polished in his black suit and perfect hair. He couldn’t even support the team he wanted.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he spat as his eyes looked at you. “I don’t need your pity, filthy muggle.”

You glared at him before looking above you.

“Oh my, it’s Harry Potter,” you gasped.

Draco followed your gaze and then growled in distaste, rolling his eyes.

_____________

Draco’s father had disappeared by the time you returned to the Minister’s box, but neither of you minded. You walked through the crowds as you took in all the different people jeer around you.

You followed the crowd as it led towards a ground filled with tents and lights.

“What’s that?” you breathed looking over the crowd milling over the place.

“That’s the sewer,” Draco spat scanning the area with disgust. Your eyes met his and he rolled his eyes as the poison lessened. “It’s the breeding ground for muggles, blood traitors and mudbloods.”

You ignored his bad behaviour and looked over at the place in longing instead. You took in the rides, music and laughter and felt the need to go there.

“Can we go?” You asked Draco in the sweetest way you could.

“No,” he bit back in disgust.

“Please?” You begged, making Draco’s face curl into a sneer.

“Fine,” you huffed and began marching off by yourself. “I’ll go explore by myself. You can wait for me here if you want.”

You heard Draco groan in frustration before you heard loud footsteps behind you, “Five minutes.”

You turned to him with a huge grin, “Thank you!”

Draco rolled his eyes and followed your happy skipping form into the campsite.

However, your happiness didn’t last long. An unsettling feeling settled into your stomach making it churn with nerves. You looked around the campsite you were pretty well inside, and you felt your hands begin to shake.

The air thickened with ominous energy, some darkness, but you couldn’t put your finger in.

“What’s wrong?” Draco ordered from beside you. You turned to look at him with glazed eyes. He stared at you, his brows furrowing.

A little kid ran up to you, holding onto your hand, “Do you want to know your destiny, mam?”

You turned to the kid, your mind raging, but you nodded offering him a small smile.

Draco muttered something under his breath but followed closely behind you nonetheless.

You looked at the site, and images began flashing through your mind. It was scenes from the movies. It was the golden trio, and the Weasley twins... and something else, something else you couldn’t remember.

Suddenly, you remembered screams and pain.

You looked around looking for some clue, but you couldn’t remember.

The kid took you inside a tent, a dark-faced Draco behind you, his eyes focused on you.

And then it hit you.

Hot. Flames. Fire. Lucius Malfoy. Death Eaters.

You turned to Malfoy with wide-eyes but it wasn’t almost as if he saw your mind.

“We need to get out of here. Now.” He ordered, grabbing your hand and pulling you away.

Before you were out, you turned to the kid, your throat dry, “Run. Get your friends and family, tell everyone to run, now.”

The kid looked frightened but then nodded running off.

Draco kept leading you out, and somewhere in the distance, a woman’s bloodcurdling scream rang through the night.

You both turned to see flames erupt across the sea of tents, spreading fast. Draco’s grip tightened on your hand as he began running towards the forest.

You could feel the heat of the flames closing in around you. The temperature rising with every step you tried taking away from it. And then you were beating it, the flames moving further and further away as Draco took you to the forest.

You stopped at the edge and turned to the sight in front of you.

The music, lights and happiness all burning in the flames of hell now. Screams and cries tore through the night, and you felt your heart tear into pieces.

You fell onto your knees as each cry of pain cut through your skin. You held onto Draco’s hand, squeezing it tight to keep you in reality. You closed your eyes as a heartwrenching sob fell from you.

Your body shook as uncontrollable sobs raked through your body.

You could’ve stopped it. You could’ve done something. If only you remembered.

Your hand gripped the front of your jumper, thumping against your chest as you silently shook as your sorrow and guilt tore through your body.

Draco didn’t move. He stood there, cold.

His hand limp in yours as you squeezed it tight.

“Shouldn’t you be getting that one out of here?” His cold words spoke. You opened your eyes to find the golden trio. Your eyes met Hermonine’s for a moment before Harry and Ron dragged her away.

Draco didn’t move. He watched as flames raged on. He stood there as you clutched onto his hand as if your life depended on it.

The camp was nothing but smoke and ashes when you finally stopped crying. You felt empty. You didn’t have anything inside you.

Draco bent down to your side, his voice void of any emotion, “Let’s go.”

You turned towards him, letting him help you up. Once you were standing up, you looked into his eyes as tears fell from your eyes.

“I could’ve saved them, Draco.”

[asphodelroot]

Hi Emmy. I’m your Secret Santa and I hope that this year’s Christmas are the best (or that this Saturday is if you don’t celebrate). I’m afraid that I can’t draw or make amazing edits so here’s the only thing I kinda sorta can do :D I hope you’ll enjoy this little drabble~! (and I’m sorry if the last part is a bit wonky, I was a bit tipsy when finishing this story). ENJOY

———————————————-

The first time she heard those words, it made her feel proud, excited even. Granted there wasn’t much understanding on her part, not that beyond the most basic, organic one, but what she could decipher from Severus’ sentence, she’s found to be simple.

  ‘You are very powerful for a Muggleborn.' 

  They’ve known each other for about a week at that point. And what a magical week that has been, no pun intended, filled with wonderfully intricate stories of spells and hexes, of shapeshifting abilities and wizarding schools that held secrets beyond imagination. Every morning, Lily woke up with a smile, rushing to get ready for another warm, spring day full of classes that had recently lost their appeal in lieu of the new life that she now knew was awaiting her. How could Maths or English or French even live up to the promise of wands and incantations? They couldn’t… So Lily rushed back to the playground near Spinner’s End every day after classes and met up with the most fascinating boy she could ever wish to meet in the dreary town of Cokeworth. 

Severus Snape was a mystery. He appeared out of nowhere one day, and after witnessing, what he had later called, an accidental burst of magic became a guide of a hidden world that she apparently was a part of. He had shown her moving pictures and newspapers that talked about things and people she’s never heard of, tried explaining to her what it meant to be a witch or a wizard and recalled all the stories of Hogwarts he could remember hearing before. But there was one thing that he couldn’t do. And ironically it was magic. 

He had tried explaining, to the best of his abilities and childish understanding, the reasons behind his inability to perform magic, said that it was almost impossible without a wand. When asked how he knew he was a wizard, he huffed angrily and puffed out his chest as if his honour had been wounded. 'It’s because my mother is a witch. She’s told me about it all. And I had my own outbursts when I was a child.’ To her own childish mind, it was all understandable. She didn’t know that Sqibbs existed, or that there was a stigma to those born outside of the Pureblood lines of the magical world. To her, she thought as she willed another flower to bloom, hoping that Sev would follow her example, being a Muggleborn meant exactly what the word suggested. She was a daughter of Muggles… And she was powerful for a Muggleborn. 

Their friendship continued to grow with time. Somewhere along the way, they had grown attached to the hip while Lily and Petunia’s sisterhood started to fall apart. It was a slow process, sometimes hardly discernible to the minds of kids this young, but nothing could ever be the same after Lily learned of her abilities. After a name could finally be attached to the things she could do with her willpower alone. And maybe at 8 or 9, it wasn’t that much of a deal, but it was going to grow still, and she simply couldn’t imagine the extent of pain that it was going to give her. For as long as Lily was still living in Cokeworth the two remained family, the statuses of Muggle or Muggleborn, not all that often present in their thoughts. However, then came the moment Lily’s been waiting for. She got her letter and a visitation from an intimidating Witch wearing a stereotypical pointy hat, who explained everything that Lily apparently had to know about Hogwarts and how to get to both Diagon Alley and the hidden train platform somewhere in the far off London. Within weeks from that, she was off to a new world located for the very first few years solely in between the gates of her new school with thrilling new friendships looming on the horizon.

What she didn’t know, though she should have suspected after several particularly negative comments from Severus, was that once she had officially started her magical education, her status was going to be much more important to other people. And as it was her wake up call came as soon as the Welcoming Feast ended and the newly appointed Gryffindors followed their prefect up several staircases to a tower that was about to become their home for the next seven years. 

As soon as the Portrait’s frame moved from its original place and the sea of students poured into the common area the chaos erupted. Older kids formed groups around the room, some claiming the most comfortable sitting spots by the fireplace, others still gossiped about their summers as if the train ride hadn’t been long enough to catch up. All in all, it was a beautiful gathering of people under eighteen with no adult supervision enjoying their last moments of summer holidays.

In the middle of the room stood a bunch of first years, some openly staring around at older students playing Gobstones in the corner, others muttering with each other and a few patiently waiting for more directions to come from the prefect who brought them there from the Great Hall. Lily was one of those people. After all, despite coming from an unmagical family, she has already learned so much about the school from Severus. 

A tall, lean girl who stood in front of them and seemed almost as intimidating at professor McGonagall turned to face them and theatrically spread her hands to indicate the room they were all in. ’ Welcome to Gryffindor’s Common Room. It’s a place where you will spend most of your free time for the next couple of days and it’s where we cultivate our House Pride. To your left, you can see a notice board on which any and all information regarding our House will be put. Keep an eye on it.’ After that, she indicated one of the staircases behind her. 'On this side, you will find boys’ dormitories and on the other - girls’. Your trunks are already up there and waiting.’ With that, she was technically finished with all the information that she absolutely had to pass onto the first years, but there were a couple of things she wanted to add from herself. 'You see, us Gryffindors take our House Pride very seriously. Every year we make a great effort to win the House Cup or at least come up second. So try to keep up with us. Preferably by not being late tomorrow for your first classes as many often are.’ She finished with visible distaste and it was clearly their cue to leave the common room in search for their appointed sleeping quarters, but one of the girls suddenly raised her hand. 

'Yes?’ The prefect girl asked with resignation. Usually, one question meant that more were about to come.

'How will we know when to wake up? I mean, are there alarm clocks or something?’

It wasn’t a stupid question per se, but technically it wasn’t a good one either, especially since the girl pretty much answered it herself. But before the prefect could say anything, some too tall, too knobbly at the joints sixth year joined in with a nasty sounding comment. 'Oho! We got ourselves another Muggleborn this year, haven’t we?’ He asked his companion loud enough for the whole room to hear and even though there was little foundation to think that he had meant something vile, Lily could swear that his intentions weren’t pure. She glanced in his direction in curiosity, but soon her attention was brought back to the prefect. 'Yes, there are alarm clocks and there are masses of students waking up at odd hours of the morning to get ready for classes. So don’t worry. Unless you actively try to lose our points by sleeping in you should be fine. Even if you are, in fact, a Muggleborn.’ With that, they were dismissed and even if no one said anything about Muggleborns being somewhat lesser, Lily went to sleep much less excited than before.

It didn’t take long for her to learn that there were, in fact, those few people who did think her kind of people to be unworthy of magic. All it took was a few weeks and one overheard conversation between purebloods to get the whole spectrum. Some people didn’t care, others cared a little bit and some were total arseholes. 

Her first boyfriend was supposedly one of those precious few who didn’t care at all. He was a Ravenclaw and her partner during Herbology in the fourth year. A perfect example of his House’s stereotypes. 

He was studious, even though not the smartest, and knowledgeable about so many subjects that talking with him could never be dull, he was a pureblood but came from a family of very little importance., but most importantly he was as interested in Lily as she was in him. 

They started going out at the beginning of the second semester in all the school meaning of this word - Hogsmeade trips, library study sessions and an occasional stroll around the Great Lake. And it was nice, perfect, as thrilling as any first love ought to be. Sure, there were also awkward moments, natural at this stage of life when one is still learning and searching for what is what. Both had been fortunate to find the other. 

However, things had to start tumbling downhill as all first loves are ought to do. In their case, it was mostly because soon after the summer Lily started to get lost in her new prefect duties. There was too much to learn, too much to perfect that the spare time she’s had wasn’t enough to keep them together. And maybe it was for the best? She’s started to have some doubts during the summer and the disastrous way in which she’s met his parents. Disastrous in her opinion, but disastrous nonetheless. 

Everything happened within a span of some three minutes and yet it was enough to leave Lily uncomfortable with enough food for thought to last her for two whole months. It was the way he introduced her to his parents, something that hasn’t been planned beforehand but happened out of the blue. They should have predicted such a situation, but both were too young and too into each other to think about such details and nothing foretold how his simple, 'mum, dad this is Lily, my Muggleborn girlfriend’ would affect her. But it did. It made her blush, a sudden wave of embarrassment flooding her insides. And it made her angry, but at herself mostly, as at that point, she was already well acquainted with the notion of blood purity and had trained herself to pretend that the whole ideology didn’t affect her. Instead, she smiled through clenched teeth and shook the offered hands hoping that her redness, easily visible due to her light complexion, was being taken for a sure sign of her teenage infatuation. 

Everything changed from that moment. With every received letter from him, she remembered the way he had phrased his introduction, the way his choice of words felt off (who could ever naturally say “she’d my Muggleborn girlfriend”?), the way he felt it necessary to add that bit about her. Was it such an important part of her character? Did it matter all that much to him that she wasn’t a pureblood or even a half-blood? Couldn’t he just say that she was his girlfriend, plain and simple? Did that mean he had another girlfriend, with a different blood status hidden somewhere? In the end, it was all too much for her to take in and the pair had drifted apart. She was left with all those questions, though. And she never got her answers. 

Once the war had started to pose a real threat, her previous worries started to feel insignificant. Suddenly it wasn’t anymore about the way someone might find her not good enough to date her or throw a slightly thoughtless comment her way, suddenly it was starting to become life-threatening and before she knew what was going on, it had become more than serious. 

On her way there were classes, exams, OWLs and NEWTS and then she was out of school, graduated, a real witch with a real wand and an apparition licence. The world was huge and scary and even though she should be caring only about getting a good job and safe place to build a home she has found herself fighting for her basic rights. Instead of going to interviews or maybe learning new things, partying with friends and going on dates with her boyfriend (or two), she was spending her evenings patrolling and going to secret meetings. Instead of taking potions to sooth her sore throat (after a whole night of club going and screaming happily with friends) she poured over books in search of long forgotten potions and spells that they could use to tip the scales in their favour.  And then, just as suddenly, she was pregnant and engaged and then married and a mother and before she knew what was happening she was no more. And it was no longer her duty to make sure their baby never said to their future friend - “you are great…

…for a Muggleborn”.

[kweebtrash]

Why Stop Now (M)

Pairing:  JohnnyxYutaxReader

Genre: PWP, One Shot, College Au (barely)

Summary: I literally just wanted to write about getting DP’d hardcore with my bias and wrecker. that’s it. It’s just fucking, short and sweet

Word Count: 4.2k

Features:  blowjob, anal fingering, vaginal fingering, anal, squirting, grinding, a smidge of public sex, a little bit of overstretching, 

A/N: Probs will edit some more later like tomorrow when I’m not so tired.

MasterlIst  Buy me a Ko-Fi    

It was a mistake coming here tonight. I didn’t want to be surrounded by a house full of idiots but I most certainly didn't want to run into my ex. Lucas was currently the bane of my existence after I caught him cheating on me at a party similar to this. The moment I saw him I took to drinking my sorrows away in order to forget. I hoped I looked good enough to ever make him regret being the world's biggest asshole to me. The unfortunate part was that I hadn't really eaten much for a good part of the day and the alcohol hit me harder than I wanted it to. I slowed down and worked through clusters of people to head upstairs and rest in Taeyong's bedroom. I hoped it wasnt occupied with a fucking couple as I didn't need war flashbacks to top off my already sour mood. His room was thankfully barren and I closed the door and set the lock.

The bed looked perfect for me to just take a quiet nap and I shuffled slowly to the mattress before throwing myself across it. I wanted my head to stop spinning a bit so I could start making good decisions. Once I was a bit more sober I would head home instead of wallowing in misery and chatting with guys I had slept with in the past. Almost the entirety of my track record was in attendance here which was the cherry on top of my clusterfuck sundae. There was Taeil from my college writing class, Taeyong, the host of the party, from my media class, Jaehyun from the Student Democrats club, and I was sure my most frequent suitors, Johnny and Yuta were floating around somewhere. All in all I was making mistake after mistake in the grand scheme of things.

I shut my eyes and tried to focus on sleep but the music was still too loud even through the closed door and I could hear voices pouring in from the open window. Those voices sounded way too familiar and I winced the moment I recognized them. I hoped to all hell they didn't notice me in the room as they were sitting on the mid roof right outside of Taeyong's bedroom. I curled up and tried to stay as quiet as possible but my plan failed entirely when I heard my name called out in a weed induced slur.

"Heyyyy baby! What are you doing here?!" Yuta giggled.

"Fuck I haven't seen you in forever!" Johnny added.

I grumbled and squeezed my eyes tighter. "Leave me alone. I hit the bottle too hard and I need to sleep it off for a bit."

"Ooh did you see Lucas downstairs? Is that it?" Yuta asked.

I stayed quiet, refusing to answer. 

"Yup," Johnny said. "Definitely saw Lucas. Come here babe. We'll help you get your mind off it."

"Absolutely not." I said, finally sitting up. "You two are the worst trouble makers of them all. I don't need you trying to play games tonight."

"When have we ever played games?!" Yuta took a long drag from the joint he and Johnny had been sharing. 

"Hmm, let's see, leaving me on read, ghosting me, dumping me out of your room after we were done fucking, being complete fuckboys. The list goes on, truly."

"We're not that bad! Besides...you always come back for more, don't you?" Johnny smirked.

My face flared up instantly at his truth filled statement. Little fucker. "Be quiet." I snapped. "That's not the point."

"Yeah, your point should be coming out here and joining us. The breeze is much better up here and it's not as hot as it is in the house."

Yuta was right. The summer weather had been unforgiving especially when a couple dozen people were crammed in a small two story house. The breeze was coming in nicely through the windows and I contemplated actually going out there in hopes that the air would help clear my head.. I sighed and used the bed for leverage to crawl out the window and sit on the roof area. Yuta passed the blunt to Johnny and I laid back against the paneling, staring down at the mess of people on the lawn.

"We've been people watching all night. That dude on the left has been trying to get in this chicks pants for like an hour now. It ain't gonna happen." Johnny laughed.

"Hmm, he doesn't look like he's got game. I wouldn't sleep with him."

"What he's not your type? I thought you liked big dumb idiots?"

"I mean that's why I fucked you, didn't I?" I smirked at Johnny who glared at me.

Yuta snorted and laid back with me, clasping his hands behind his head. "This party blows. Taeyong's cool and all but something needs to happen."

"What would you even want to happen?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Something. Anything. I could get laid or be at home stuffing my face with frozen burritos and passing the fuck out."

"That sounds so titillating."

Johnny snorted. "Heh, tittle."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, you giant man child."

"Do you wanna hook up?" Yuta asked suddenly. He was never one for subtlety.

"Uh...like right now? I still kinda feel like crap."

"Fucking will help with that. We could all fuck." Johnny propositioned.

"Like a threesome?" I looked between the two of the as they shrugged, playing it off real cool. I blushed hard not knowing how to respond. It wasn't something I really had experience in but Yuta and Johnny were my two favorite people to fuck. Johnny was commanding and a little rough with a secretive soft side that poked through every once in awhile. Yuta was dirty to the core, bending me every which way and unabashed at anything he suggested we do. Things usually ended up messy with him but I never thought about fucking the two together. Having Johnny's thickness invade every inch of me while Yuta fucked me from behind; being so completely stuffed that my stomach would clench and I could feel so whole and perfectly ruined. I bit my lip and pressed my thighs together as scenes began to flourish in my mind.

"Hello?" Yuta snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Did you hear us?

"Huh? Uh...yeah, the hookup. Threesome. Um, I've never had a threesome before." I admitted shyly.

"I had one once but it wasn't that great. Dude was hogging the chick the whole time. So Yuta if you pull that shit I'm dipping out."

"Trust me dude. I've got my own plans. You can do whatever you want to her pus-"

I slapped my hand over his mouth, keeping him from saying that vile word. "We get it. You want to fuck my ass."

"You do that?" Johnny questioned.

I sighed and laid back down. "Only with Yuta. He gets excited over it and we'll…"

"She literally cums so hard when we do it. Don't let her fool you, she's just as big of a slut as I am."

"Shut up, asshole! I am not. Well...maybe a little but you don't have to point it out."

"Alright, let's cut the crap. Threesome of not? It's been awhile since you've gotten fucked, right? You and Lucas broke up like a month or so ago." Johnny said.

"Yeah, don't remind me…"

"Agree to fuck us and we'll make sure we can help you forget." Yuta said.

I sighed and gave in, too easily for my liking but the images I created where already burned into my mind. "Sure, why the fuck not."

Yuta said no more and dove to capture my neck in slow and methodical kisses, nibbling ever once in awhile. Johnny's large hand was working itself over my stomach as he leaned down to capture me in a kiss. His lips were so fucking amazing that sometimes it made my heart ache to have them against me. They were full, soft, and he knew exactly how to work them so I would get wet in an instant. I parted my lips and let his thick tongue creep into my mouth, sucking on my own and making sure I couldn't breathe. His fingers wiggled beneath the hem of my shirt and pushed it upwards to expose my chest to the cool breeze.

"Whoa, wait. We can't do it out here!" I whispered harshly.

"Shhh, it's just the beginning. We'll finish everything inside; we need the room anyway. For now I just want you legs spread open and to see if we can make you squirt off the rooftop." Yuta said deviously.

"D-dont you fucking dare!" My face was red at the thought but it shook me to my core. I ached for them to prove that they could make my body do such things.

"Take them off, Yuta." Johnny commanded. 

Yuta slipped his hand under my skirt to grab a hold of my panties and yank them down. I fumbled to try and keep them on, embarrassed that someone might see us but they got tossed to Johnny who pocketed them with a teasing smile. My legs were forced open then, the front clasp of my bra worked apart, so every tender area was exposed. Johnny latched his lips around my nipple, sucking deeply as his long middle finger trailed up the length of my slit. "She's already starting to get wet."

"Of course she is. Told you she was dirty." Yuta commented.

"If you two don't stop talking I'm going to-" I gasped softly as I felt Johnny push his finger inside me. It was slow and precise, dragging up and down my walls to work me up even more. He went back to teasing my breast while Yuta licked his fingers and set them over my clit. He circled them over the sensitive spot, pairing it with more bites to my neck that flowed down to my chest. I didn't know where to even put my hands at this point and I was already arching slightly against all their teasing. I felt Johnny hook his ankle over mine and nudge my leg to rest between his strong thighs. The center of his jeans pressed against the junction of my knee and thigh and he rocked against me, creating as much friction as possible. He moaned deeply against my chest and I couldn't help how frenzied it made my brain.

Yuta nudged his free hand between us, grabbing a hold on my wrist and guiding me to touch him. My fingers rubbed against the denim, feeling the way he was starting to bulge beneath the fabric. I closed my eyes then, letting my senses get overridden by their exploring hands and tongues. Johnny licked his way up my neck so his lips could rest by my ear. "I know you like getting stretched out but how many fingers do you think we can fit in there before you cum." He whispered in his slightly deepened voice. I turned away from him, trying to hide how embarrassed his words were making me and ended up catching Yuta's lips instead. Johnny chuckled softly as he watched my lips get occupied but someone else and shoved another finger inside me. With how big his hands were just those couple of digits had my entrance already working to accommodate him. 

Yuta scissored my lower lips open while the tip of his middle finger curled little strokes against my clit, leaving me open for more sensitivity. My hips bucked then and I squirmed, trying to move away for a moment to regain my composure. Pressure was building within the pit of my stomach as I could feel that orgasm creeping closer. As I tried to close my free leg, Yuta trapped it between his thighs, mimicking Johnny so I couldn't hide even if I tried. Anyone could look up and see me half naked and getting fingered to all hell and back. I knew they weren't going to let me go until I came. My breath burned in my lungs as I couldn't seem to catch it but I was just able to pant out a little beg. "P-please, m-more."

Yuta's fingers joined Johnny's then, forcing two more into me. While Johnny kept steady thrusts, Yuta curled his fingers in a beckoning motion, trying to dig the harshest reaction out of me. "Touch yourself." He commanded, adding a small nip to the shell of my ear afterward. I took over the attention to my clit while their fingers explored and bodies grinded against my thighs. My lower half trembled with the threat of release and I clamped my lips shut so I wouldn't draw attention from the other partygoers below. Both my nipples were overtaken by their mouths again just as I felt increased attention to a particularly sensitive spot within me. I grabbed at Yuta's hand to make sure he stayed in place and commanded Johnny to go faster. My own fingers increased speed as I heard my wetness echoing into the night. 

My toes were curling within my shoes, my body dipping against the panelling, and suddenly a rush of absolute bliss washed over me. I shuddered hard, my body practically collapsing in on itself as I slapped at their hands to try and remove the intensity. They didn't let up, becoming greedy for the way my body was creating splashes down the rooftop. I finally grabbed their hands and pushed them away to snap my legs shut and breathe. I muttered out curses while Johnny and Yuta were all smiles and cheers, high fiving each other in victory of my glorious and wet defeat.

"Damn, I didn't think you could actually do it!" Johnny said as excited as a puppy.

"Dude, I told you! That was fucking hot!"

I wanted to ask myself why I put up with their absolutely idiotic tendencies. They were stupid college kids with minds wrapped around partying, getting drunk or high, and getting laid. Nothing remotely appealing about that- then I was harshly reminded why I sought out their company when Johnny's bulge grazed against me again. When I glanced down I could tell that his jeans were trying desperately to keep him contained and he would be growling in my ear at any moment if he didn't get more attention. "We need to get inside." Johnny grunted right on cue. Yuta nodded and crawled up to the open window, tossing himself inside. Johnny and I followed suit and we were a clash of kisses and tongues, pulling off the rest of our clothes until my head was between Johnny's thighs and Yuta had my ass raised.

He shuffled around, rifling through Taeyong's drawers, looking intently for something. I was curious as to what he was doing but still currently occupied by the way Johnny filled my mouth entirely. I swallowed around him and gripped at his base to try and prevent him from thrusting harshly. He was always trying to get me to deep throat him but I couldn't take everything at once. It would usually end in a glaring contest with his hand firmly pushing my hand down until I tapped out. This time he seemed to be a little bit gentle and focused instead on the way my lips looked flowing over his thickness.

Yuta finally came back after a victorious exclamation. He had found whatever he was looking for and finally joined us on the bed. My hole was perfectly presented for him and I felt the familiar chill of lube against me. That must have been what he had been searching for in Taeyong's drawers. I sighed around my mouthful as his fingertip nudged against the barrier, slowly rocking until he poked through. His slender finger was enough to make me whimper and reach back to tap his outer thigh when I needed breaks. He was always good about that and filled our pauses with kisses up my spine or his thumb grazing the entrance of my heat. Eventually he was able to work his knuckle in and get a consistent rhythm going.

I popped off of Johnny when I felt his pre cum splatter across my taste buds, making sure he didn't get too worked up. He fumbled around for his pants that had been discarded on the floor, getting into the pocket of his jeans to pull out a condom. He ripped it open and I helped roll it on, kissing the tip playfully. "Yuta, let her move up to my lap." Johnny demanded.

Yuta scooted us closer so I could straddle Johnny and he could remain behind me to work my ass open. As Johnny slid his cock through my wetness, Yuta started to pry a second finger into me. He added a bit more lube and latched his teeth onto my shoulder, his other hand coming to cup my breast and make small pinches at my nipple. Johnny grabbed onto my hips, lifting me just a bit so I could sink down on his length. I bit down on my lip as soon as I felt that heavy fullness even within my stomach. He let out a moan from deep within his chest, head tossed back against the pillow and lips parted slightly. My bounces were small at first, giving Yuta a pace he could still work with as I desperately needed them both in me at the same time. I wished he could hurry up but patience, time, and dedication were needed for him to fuck me senseless.

The second finger made its way in fully and I felt the slight sting of my muscles trying to accommodate him. I took a few deep breaths, letting him push forward on every exhale. He scissored his fingers little by little, chuckling when he saw me gaped open. My cheeks burned as I knew he loved seeing me spread apart for him. I elbowed him gently, trying to get him to stop as my embarrassment continued. His lips were by my ear whispering the softest of teases. "You look so good like this I couldn't help myself."

"Yeah, we'll save your tired old lines for-" My hand flew to my mouth to cover a harsh gasp that was about to escape. Johnny had bucked his hips particularly hard to gain my attention. His brows were furrowed in irritation and he landed a heavy slap on my ass.

"Less talking, more working." He grunted.

I pouted but rolled my hips, feeling Johnny's cock press against my walls while Yuta curled his fingers deep within me. It was getting easier for him to work me open and the third finger edged in almost seamlessly. With each roll of my hips I was fucking myself back against them, squeezing my eyes shut and trying not to be too loud. I was sure the music would cover me but I didn't need the possibility of Taeyong coming in and see us defiling his bed.

Johnny dug his fingers into my thighs as he increased his pace. Heated skin on skin echoed throughout the room, mixing in with his slightly animalistic grunts and groans. Yuta gently rubbed my ass making my heart race as I knew what was next. "You ready?" He asked with a bit of concern. 

I nodded and turned my head for a kiss, his lips morphing into a smile as soon as we connected. "Dude, slow down a sec." Yuta told Johnny who seemed peeved at the request. He stopped his motions entirely as Yuta bent me over Johnny's torso. I heard the rip of his own condom packet and a few moments later he was lined up against me, thumbs spreading my asscheeks apart. Once his head creeped in past the barrier I buried my face deep into Johnny's neck, whimpering helplessly. 

"You ok?" He asked. I nodded, content that the both of them were showing their soft sides of being concerned for my well-being. It was a breath of fresh air given their usual antics.

"I got her. We've done this before." Yuta reassured the other man. More and more of me was filled, making my legs almost give out from their place over Johnny’s hips. All I could scream was 'oh god' in my head over and over and when Yuta finally was in the three of us groaned at the intense tight feeling surrounding around us.

"Please just fuck me." I said. I didnt want to waste anymore time as I needed my body turned into a pillar of pleasure between them. Yuta was the first to thrust and he grabbed a hold of my arms, pulling them behind me like reins to control his pace. Once Johnny joined in my eyes got lost in the back of my head and I was in a whirlwind of bliss. Each slam of their bodies into me created pressure that sent tingles throughout my entire being. I tried to keep up but it was hard to press into them when my body was getting destroyed. Veins and ridges crept up my walls, dragging through nerves and places I didn't think they could have ever reached. My thighs quaked as weakness set in but my lust wouldn’t be satisfied until I felt the warm heat of their cum inside me.

Johnny gripped my neck gently, nudging his thumb to lift my chin up so our lips could crash together. It was a sloppy mess of tangled breaths and soft groans, our tongues trying to stay melded as he fucked me harder. I clenched around him, bucking slightly when he pushed through the tightness. My second orgasm was approaching way too fast but there was no way to stop it. I pressed my forehead to Johnny, his whisper against my lips now. "Fuck, I wanna come for you."

"Don't say it just do it." I pleaded. 

Suddenly I was yanked back to be pressed against Yuta's chest. "You complained about that other dude hogging chicks and now you’re doing the same thing. Share a little." He chuckled.

"F-fuck you!" Johnny managed to groan out as he started to swell against my tightness.

"Such a cop out, cumming first." Yuta turned my face towards his, getting a taste of my lips again. He was thrusting upwards, getting every inch of him to slam into me relentlessly. He parted from me to replace his tongue with the pads of his index and middle finger. They pressed down on my tongue and I sucked hungrily around them. "You want me to touch you?" He teased. I nodded vigorously. If he added that extra magical sensation to my clit we'd all be a symphony of chaotic messes. He shoved his fingers in deeper, almost touching the back of my throat before teasing the digits back out slowly.

He worked them down between my breasts and towards my stomach until they met my clit and worked steady circles into me. Occasionally, he would tease my entrance, getting his fingertip in besides Johnny's cock and crooking his finger just an inch or so inside me. My eyes squeezed shut as I couldn't help but left let a loud moan run free, practically screaming for him not to stop. Johnny forced through one last sloppy thrust, raising his hips so his cock crashed against the deepest part of me, and spilled all he had within the rubber. I still felt that comforting heat through my lower belly and a smile crossed my lips. God, I needed that again and again. Yuta still was vibrant as ever, continuing to ravish me until my body tensed and flushed with warmth. I clenched my thighs around Johnny’s waist as my next orgasm gushed out, leaving trails across his abs. “F-fuck, s-sorry.” I whispered. He shook his head and sat up, cupping my face to kiss my lips and tired body. I held onto him as I could barely keep up with Yuta though I could feel him ready to lose himself at any moment as well.

“Don’t be sorry. You felt so fucking good.” He purred as he slipped out of me slowly. He gave me a wink as Yuta began his greed tirade of final thrusts, bending me over completely and ramming my ass back against him. Johnny watched us, making sure my head was turned towards him so he could see every expression of pain and pleasure on my face. I curled my fingers around the wrinkled bed sheets whimpering out Yuta’s name. His hips stuttered and his blunt nails dug into my skin as he burst within me, shoving his sheathed released as far down as he could. Johnny laid back and Yuta pulled out, flopping beside me. I could finally give my body the break it deserved as my lustful greed was quelled for now.

“Not gonna lie, I kinda missed that.” Johnny said.

Yuta hummed in agreement which got me thinking. We did all have good chemistry together and it was all for fun and after the hell I went through fun was exactly what I deserved. “Should we do it again? Like hook up? The three of us?” He asked.

“Well we’ve all fucked and then had this threesome so why stop now?”

[bunchofbooks]

It’s Time for Kyrsten’s Opinion: Flowers in the Attic Review Edition

Flowers in the Attic is the first book in the Dollanganger series but VC Andrews. It follows the Dollanganger family; the four children, Chris, Cathy, Carrie, Cory and their mother, Corrine. They were a perfect family, until their father is suddenly killed in a car accident on the way home from work one evening. The four children must stay hidden in the attic of their estranged grandparent’s estate for the sake of inheritance. Their mother assures them this is only temporary - one night at most; but the days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And the months turned into years with no glimmer of escape. 

While this book was a really enjoyable read it was also a really heavy read. Under the cut I have posted a spoiler free review of the book, with my thoughts and opinions including content warnings.

Before I even start getting into the review I wanted to jump right into the content warning. A quick sidebar, I first heard about VC Andrews through the podcast, My Favorite Murder. The women who host it were talking about reading this book in middle school and high school, I thought that it can’t be too bad if they read it when they were that young. The woman who was ringing me up at the store when I bought it also said she read it when she was in middle school and said it was intense, but that she was a baby so it probably wasn’t that bad. I just want to know WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?!?! This book needs a lot of content warnings and I’m hoping that I cover all of them here even if I don’t get into all of them in the review. Content warning for: death of a parent, abuse / neglect, self - mutilation, incest (holy incest Batman), suicidal thoughts, victim blaming, and death of a child. 

The estranged grandmother is a vile woman who is abusive and neglectful of her grandchildren. She dangles the threat over the children and Corrine that all she has to do is tell one of their maids that Corrine has 4 children from her marriage and they can kiss that inheritance goodbye. The neglect seems obvious, these kids are locked in an attic 24/7, in the dead of summer and on the coldest nights during the winter, but she also at points is angry with the children and refuses to bring them food because they broke one of her many rules. One part in particular that sticks out to me is when she tells Cathy she can either cut all of her hair off or they can go one week without food. When Cathy does not agree and the kids are able to ration what little food they have left for the entire week, she drugs Cathy and dumps tar in her hair so she must shave it off; and even after she cuts off her hair, the grandmother still does not bring the children food.The children become so hungry that Chris cuts his arm and forces his younger sisters and brother to drink his blood (insert my screaming here). The grandmother whips her adult daughter and then makes her show the marks left to her young children so they see what she is capable of. The grandmother attacks Chris and Cathy, whipping them both and then beating Cathy until she is unconscious with a hair brush. 

 However, the grandmother is not the only culprit here. Corrine, while she starts out as being loyal to her children, starts coming up to the attic less and less once she starts getting some money from her father, leaving them to fend for themselves. At one point she leaves for days, not telling her children where she is going or when she will be back. When she does come back she does not understand why her children are not excited she had been on a trip nor do they want to hear about it or see what she has brought back for them. Corrine gaslights her children, saying that they chose to come with her. They chose to make these sacrifices of staying in an attic all this time. They chose this life for themselves. As if they had a choice in the matter at all. Corrine then leaves them in the attic. . . again. 

The children are told by Corrine that they must only stay in the attic for one night, until she can get back into the good graces of her estranged father so they can get the inheritance. The children ask what she did to make her family disowned her out the way they did and for a little bit, all Corrine will tell her kids is that she did something that her family did not approve of. Instantly I’m thinking, oh she stole money, she ran off and got married, she got pregnant before she was married. It takes place in the 1950’s so while that isn’t the end of the world today, I can see how an affluent family would want to keep that out of the public to save face. NOPE I WAS VERY WRONG! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! The mother was disowned by her family because she was in a relationship with her father’s step brother - or her half uncle - but don’t worry no one else thinks it’s wrong (except for the grandmother and grandfather who are painted to be the villains in all of this)  because he was so much younger than Corrine’s father and they were only half siblings. Have no fear though, because this is not the only instance of incest that we get to read about in Flowers in the Attic! Cathy - who narrates the story - and her older brother, Chris, begin a relationship. Which somehow goes from creepy to creepier. Cathy catches Chris spying on her when she is naked. Even more concerning was during the same scene, Cathy tells Chris to go away and he ignores her to keep staring at his sister. When Chris and Cathy are kissing in bed, Cathy tells Chris to stop and he says that what they are doing is not wrong, because they are only kissing and not having sex. . . However Chris your thinking is flawed because they do have sex, which will be brought up at my next therapy appointment and every therapy appointment from now until my dying day. While it is not a long scene, it is certainly graphic and more brother / sister sex scenes than I ever wanted to read. After they have sex, Chris is saying how he feels awful for what they did and Cathy says that she is to blame because she wears short clothes that don’t fit. If this were a youtube video this is the point I would insert the clip of someone screaming bitch what the fuck. 

Flowers in the Attic,  while definitely one of the most intense books I have ever read was enjoyable. There were aspects of it that I thought were amazing. VC Andrews was able to make it feel like I was in Foxworth Hall with the Dollanganger children in the attic and could make me feel claustrophobic even if I was reading outside or on a train. You really felt like time was ticking by and you were also waiting for the grandmother to catch you doing something wrong (not quite having sex with your brother, maybe something a little less. . . weird, like looking at your hair in the mirror, which is in fact a rule that the grandmother has because we don’t promote vanity. No sir, not at Foxworth Hall). VC Andrews would drop it on you like a bomb that all of this time had passed, the seasons bled into one another flawlessly. She would have one of the children say something, for instance, “sometimes eight months can feel like eight years”, and it hits you like a ton of bricks that it has been eight months since they first entered that attic, while also dropping that they should have been there only for one night. 

Another thing that I loved was how much VC Andrews made me hate Corrine. Corrine Dollanganger is truly one of the most awful fictional parents I have read, but she isn’t instantly an awful person. At the beginning she is a wonderful mother who I genuinely believe would have done anything for her children. However, slowly VC Andrews would peel back these layers and show how having this money corrupted Corrine. Some of her finer moments include asking her 14 and 12 year old to provide a quality kindergarten education to her five year old twins so when they went back to school they wouldn’t be too far behind. Ma’am your children are literally  living in an attic they’re going to have much bigger issues other than being behind in school. When the youngest son, Cory accidentally locks himself in a trunk, she is nowhere to be seen nor does she want to hear it, but she acts like mother of the year because she brings toys to the kids. However, the most infuriating thing about Corrine is how she causes so many fights among the children. Cathy tries to point out how messed up their situation is, but Chris does not want to hear about it and jumps to defend the mother who couldn't care less about him. Cathy at the age of twelve was left taking care of herself, including going through puberty, and her five year old brother and sister and Corrine would get all of the praise from the children when she came in to do the bare minimum! I would get so angry with this fictional woman! 

The last fifty pages were absolutely wild. There were so many surprises twists that I did not see coming! Sometimes when books have all of these twists at the end I’m like, yeah okay let’s speed this along, but with Flowers in the Attic I could not get enough. I was caught off guard but it didn’t feel like it was phony in any way. I was sitting in the living room reading and I gasped and was freaking out about the ending. 

My biggest complaint about the book would be the dialogue, specifically Chris. It was completely unrealistic for anyone to speak like that, even more so a seventeen year old boy. The children would talk in these elaborate metaphors and seem so worldly when Cathy says before that they lived a pretty sheltered life prior to the attic. Chris would say things to the twins like we shouldn’t quibble, as if they would know what that means?! Just say fight Christopher! At another part he is in a fight with his mother who had left them in an attic and says, “when you look and register do you see how healthy they have grown”. This is a direct quote that comes out of a child’s mouth. I understand that he was smart and read all of these books about medicine, but his dialogue specifically is what stuck out to me as unrealistic. Had VC Andrews ever met a 17 year old boy? Overall he just seemed like an unrealistic character. He kind of felt like he was there to be this convenient character that could fix almost every problem they came across. Cory and Carrie wanted a playground? Oh wow Chris comes in and saves the day because he knows exactly how to build one. . . in an attic. . . where they are living. Cathy is sick? Oh well Chris just read this book about childhood illnesses, they just have to make sure he gets plenty of fluids. Cory wants to keep this mouse that he found with its leg caught in a trap? That’s awesome because Chris can conveniently make a mouse sized splint for a little mouse leg. 

Overall, I really did enjoy my time reading this book. I have some theories about the rest of the series and am interested to see how the rest plays out. 

Would I recommend this book? Yes, but I would be sure to let someone know the content warnings. I would not recommend this book to someone in middle school or early high school. It was a lot. 

Will I keep reading the series? Definitely! 

[ofallingstar]

First lines from the books I read in 2018

Hawksmoor by Peter Ackroyd: Thus is 1711, the ninth year of the reign of Queen Anne, an Act of Parliament was passed to erect seven new Parish Churches in the Cities of London and Westminster, which commission was delivered to Her Majesty’s Office of Works in Scotland Yard.

Métamorphose en bord de ciel by Mathias Malzieu: Les oiseaux, ça s'enterre en plein ciel.

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen: The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex.

Le plus petit baiser jamais recensé by Mathias Malzieu: Le plus petit baiser jamais recensé.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll: Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice, “without pictures or conversations?”

Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll: One thing was certain, that the white kitten had had nothing to do with it -it was the black kitten’s fault entirely.

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson: Ba-room, ba-room, ba-room, baripity, baripity, baripity, baripity-Good.

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin: Dear James: I had begun this letter five times and torn it up five times.

The Secret in Their Eyes by Eduardo Sacheri: Benjamín Miguel Chaparro stops short and decides he’s not going.

At the Mountains of Madness by H. P. Lovecraft: I am forced into speech because men of science have refused to follow my advice without knowing why.

The Minds of Billy Milligan by Daniel Keyes: This books is the factual account of the life, up to now, of William Stanley Milligan, the first person in U.S. history to be found not guilty of major crimes, by reason of unsanity, because he possessed multiple personalities.

The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket: If you are interested in stories in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.

Puckoon by Spike Milligan: Several and a half metric miles North East of Sligo, split by a cascading stream, her body on earth, her feet in water, dwells the microcephalic community of Puckoon.

Piercing by Ryu Murakami: A small living creature asleep in its crib.

The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket: The stretch of the road that leads out of this city, past Hazy Harbor and into the town of Tedia, is perhaps the most unpleasant in the world.

And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini: So, then.

The Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Toro and Daniel Kraus: Richard Strickland reads the brief from General Hoyt.

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell: He’d stopped trying to bring her back.

Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell: The Rue du Coq d’Or, Paris, seven in the morning.

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart: Welcome to the beautiful Sinclair family.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusack: First the colors. Then the humans. That’s usually how I see things. Or at least, how I try.

The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket: If you didn’t know much about the Baudelaire orphans, and you saw them sitting on their suitcases at Damocles Dock, you might think they were bound for an exciting adventure.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson: No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.

Battles in the Desert by José Emilio Pacheco: I remember, I don’t remember.

The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket: Sometime during your lifetime -in fact, very soon- you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.

The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby: The word is everywhere, a plague spread by the President of the United States, television anchors, radio talk show hosts, preachers in megachurches, self-help gurus, and anyone else attempting to demostrate his or her identification with ordinary, presumably wholesome American values.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare: Theseus, duke of Athens, is planning the festivities for his upcoming wedding to the newly captured Amazon, Hippolyta.

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert: We were in study hall when the headmaster walked in, followed by a new boy not wearing a school uniform, and by a janitor carrying a large desk.

The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket: If you were going to give a gold medal to the last delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn’t give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding: The boy with fair hair lowered himself down the last few feet of rock and began to pick his way toward the lagoon.

The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare: Christopher Sly, a drunken beggar, is driven out of an alehouse by its hostess.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee: When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro: My name is Katy H.

Hear the Wind Sing by Haruki Murakami: “There’s no such thing as a perfect piece of writing.”

The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket: The book you are holding in your two hands right now -assuming that you are, in fact, holding this book, and that you have only two hands- is one of two books in the world that will show you the difference between the words “nervous” and the word “anxious.”

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: Two households, both alike in dignity, (In fair Verona, where we lay our scene), From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

Adventure Time: The Enchiridion & Marcy’s Super Secret Scrapbook!!!: My Devoted Evil Daighter, Marceline, I admit we’ve had a somewhat volatile father-daughter relantionship ever since the regrettable Fry Incident.

A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin: Ser Waymar Royce glanced at the sky with desinterest.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings.

Pinball, 1973 by Haruki Murakami: I used to love listening to stories about faraway places.

The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket: No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read.

Dracula by Bram Stoker: 3 May. Bistritz. –Left Munich at 8:35 P.M., on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:43, but train was an hour late.

The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare: I know this hartred mocks all Christian virtue, but They I loathe: their very sight  abhors me.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac: I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up.

A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami: It was a short one-paragraph item in the morning edition.

The Hostile Hospital by Lemony Snicket: There are two reasons why a writer would end a sentence with the word “stop” written in entirely in capital letters STOP.

The Most Beautiful: My Life with Prince by Mayte Garcia: The chain-link fence around Praisley Park is woven with purple ribbons and roses, love notes, tributes, and prayers for peace.

Hamlet by William Shakespeare: Who’s there?

A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin: The comet’s tail spread across the dawn, a red slash that bled above the crags of Dragonstone like a wound in the pink and purple sky.

Out of Africa by Isak Dinensen: I had a farm in Africa, at the foot of Ngong Hills.

Carrie by Stephen King: News item from the Westover (Me.) weekly enterprise, August 19, 1966: RAIN OF STONES REPORTED.

The Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket: When my workday is over, and I have closed my notebook, hidden my pen and sawed holes in my rented canoe so it cannot be found, I often like to spend the evening in conversation with my few surviving friends.

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick: The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a boal of outmeal.

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James: The story had held us, round the fire, sufficiently breathless, but except the obvious remark that it was gruesome, as, on Christmas Eve on an old house, a strange tale should essentially be, I remember no comment uttered till somebody happened to say that it was the only tale he had met in which such a visitation had fallen on a child.

Carmilla by Sheridan J. Le Fanu: Upon a paper attached to the Narrative which follows, Doctor Hesselius has written a rather elaborated note, which he accompanies with a reference to his Essay on the strange subject which the MS. illuminates.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson: No one has ever suffered as I have.

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka: One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin.

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski: I still get nightmares.

Othello by William Shakespeare: In the streets of Venice, Iago tells Roderigo of his hatred for Othello, who has given Cassio the lieutenancy that Iago wanted and has made Iago a mere ensign.

Dance, Dance, Dance by Haruki Murakami: I often dream about the Dolphin Hotel.

The Slippery Slope by Lemony Snicket: A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called “The Road Less Traveled,” describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou: “What you looking at me for? I didn’t come to stay…”

A Most Haunted House by G. L. Davies: The house first came to my attention a few  years ago.

Ghost Sex, The Violation by G. L. Davies: I met with Lisa at her home in Pembroke Dock.

Any Man by Amber Tamblyn: Am I in a body?

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay: “This must be so difficult for you, Meredith.”

A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin: The day was grey and bitter cold, and the dogs would not take the scent.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare: When shall we three meet again in thunder, lightning, or in rain?

You by Caroline Kepnes: You walk into the bookstore and you keep your hand on the door to make sure it doesn’t slam.

The Grim Grotto by Lemony Snicket: After a great deal of examining oceans, investigating rainstorms and staring very hard at several drinking fountains, the scientists of the worlds developed a theory regarding how water is distributed around our planet, which they have named “the water cycle.”

Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys: They say when trouble comes close ranks, and so the white people did.

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen: About thirthy years ago, Miss Maria Ward, of Huntingdon, with only seven thousand pounds, had the luck to captivate Sir Thomas Bertram, of Mansfield Park, in the country of Northampton, and to be thereby raised to the rank of a baronet’s lady, with all the comforts and consequences of a handsome house and a large income.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë: My name is Gilbert Markham, and my story begings in October 1827, when I was twenty-four years old.

The Tempest by William Shakespeare: Boatswain!

Lucky by Alice Sebold: In the tunnel where I was raped, a tunnel that was once an underground entry to an amphitheather, a place where actors burst forth from underneath the seats of a crowd, a girl had been murdered and dismembered.

The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket: Certain people had said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.

[terribleauthor-scathingreviewer]

INSANITY Is Insanely Bad

An INSANITY: JEFF THE KILLER Review

SPOILER WARNING: I talk about the ending of this book in-depth. If you’d like to read INSANITY for yourself, I suggest doing it before reading this.

INSANITY: JEFF THE KILLER is a 76 paged, published work of ‘original’ self-insert fanfiction written by Neesha Nickleson. It’s, clearly, based on the infamous Jeff the Killer creepypasta, the middle half of the book copies the original story beat for beat with only a few minor changes. For those you don’t know, here’s a quick rundown. Jeffery Woods is a teenage boy who experiences a psychotic breakdown after being horrifically burned and beaten by a group of bullies. This ends in him killing his entire family, taking on the persona of Jeff the Killer, and becoming a brutally prolific serial killer. We’re off to a great start. Everyone knows what fanfictions and creepypastas are, but if someone out there is unaware, fanfiction is a genre of online literature where fans of, anything really, write original fiction based heavily on or in the world of a particular show, movie, or book. Creepypastas are online horror stories, some are fantastic, others are below average.

Now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to begin. Honestly, the plot of INSANITY can be summed up in a single sentence: Senseless violence that goes nowhere fast. The only thing of note about the plot of this book is the disturbing amount of murder and how romanticized it is. It’s genuinely concerning. The way murder is addressed and used makes the book seem more like a revenge murder fantasy than just an average, everyday bad, fanfiction. Granted, it’s about a serial killer, but that doesn’t really help with the murder fantasy feel. If you took out all the violence, the plot would be nonexistent.

The only reason a published book should have spelling or grammatical errors is if the book has been: 1) Written by someone who doesn’t speak English as a first language or naturally write in English, or 2) The book has been poorly translated into English. Those are the only reasons a published book should have spelling or grammatical mistakes. One or two mistakes are acceptable, because no one is perfect, but to have multiple errors is just lazy writing and editing. Three times in this book there were random quotation marks in places they should not be, three times. ‘“Oh come on, it won’t be that bad.”’ Mallory grabbed Naomi by her shirt”’ Nickleson wrote on page 3. Why is there a quotation mark after shirt? Is Mallory speaking in third person? No, this is simply a mistake on the author’s part, a mistake that is easily fixable. Not all errors/mistakes are actual mistakes, some are just poor writing technique. ‘I always get this feeling when something bad is about to happen. I got that feeling on the way to camp and something usually always does happen.’ Nickleson wrote on page 1. While this isn’t technically a grammatical error, some simple rewording and revising/editing would’ve made the sentence less clunky and awkward. A lot in this book would’ve been fixed if there had been an actual editing process, and not just a once over.

Know what else needs more than a once over? Characters. Simply put, there are no actual characters in INSANITY. Every side character, every single one, either fades into irrelevancy or is killed off. Mallory is killed off twelve pages into the book, all of Naomi’s campmates are never heard from again, Randy is killed off nineteen pages after being introduced, and so on and so forth. By the end there’s only the main characters left. And even they’re not real characters, they’re archetypes and cliches thrown together and designed to resemble characters. Naomi is your typical self-insert Mary Sue and Jeff is your bad boy with a heart of gold, who’d never hurt his girl. While on the topic of Jeff and Naomi’s relationship, every interaction between these characters is stilted, awkward, and poorly written. The romance centered dialogue is especially bad, it’s actually hilarious just how uncomfortable their “flirting” is. ‘“I would love to see Liu, my mom, and my amazing girlfriend.” I said… “No need to ask about your amazing girlfriend because I’m here.”’ Nickleson wrote on page 53. It’s terribly cheesy at best and horribly uncomfortable at worst.

But uncomfortable dialogue is nothing compared to the horror show that is the ending. Personally, I think the ending is the most appalling part of this whole book. A young boy, who witnessed Jeff and Naomi kill his parents, is giving a tearful recount of what he saw the night his parents died, on live television. When suddenly, Jeff and Naomi burst through the news room doors. This poor baby boy begins to panic, screaming for the reporter talking with him to run. Naomi, without hesitation, murders him while Jeff kills the reporter. This is absolutely without a doubt the most disgusting thing in this entire book. This poor, sweet, baby boy, he was written in just to be traumatized and murdered. It’s absolutely vile and personally offensive, the way every murder was handled was appalling, but this one in particular made my blood boil. Naomi is supposed to be our heroine, we root for her, but it’s really hard to support a monster who murders children on live television.

In conclusion, INSANITY: JEFF THE KILLER, is a bad book. It’s poorly written, unplanned, has virtually no plot, all on top of the more problematic issue of romanticizing and glorifying violence. Despite this, I recommend you read it. It’s an excellent example of what not to do when writing creatively and can be genuinely enjoyable if you read it with friends. And to all the aspiring writers out there, if you put in the time and effort you will definitely improve. Everyone starts out writing like this, but with practice you can improve your skills and become a better writer.

[cutegirlmayra]

Commission Product/Document Review

My Commission Info: (x) Should you want to, please read rules and prices first.

Marydragneell: Assisted Story - Ember the Immortal Wolf’s Backstory

Time: About 2 days to complete roughly 22 pages consisting of 2 chapters.

Amount paid: 10$ (9$ for Assisted Story benefits and 1$ for added tip by customer choice.)

Review: @marydragneell  OMG I LOOOOOVEEEE IIIIITTTTT.  The title, you totally got the horror of having a perfect memory and you really nail her personality of what I read. I absolutely love it <3 <3 <3 <3 I really love it and you totally captured the personality of Ember, I was impatient to read the finished story and I do not regret it coz it's absolutely perfect. And I loved it so much I'm gonna give you the money to continue writing on her coz I just love how you do it X3

Finished product: ( a provided example of what I sell, permission to advertise according to rules and customer discretion was given.)

A Spark of Ember

By: Cutegirlmayra (Assisted Story for Marydragneell)

It was the dark of night.

I guess you could say she had been traveling for hours, or at least, still on the trail of G.U.N.

Man, where had the time flown off too?

She paced the dark night, strung with fireflies and lost in her thoughts. The only thing pulling her forward was the dirt in her nails from digging the children’s graves before swearing she’d seek revenge.

‘It shouldn’t have happened that way.’ Her teeth clenched, gripping an object in her hand, round and with the inscription G.U.N. ‘I won’t lose more to those… those monsters!’

***

Maria ran through the ARK, excitedly racing away from something. She was young, full of energy, and wasn’t afraid to skid her knee on the cold steel of the floating spacecraft.

She laughed and laughed, as two figures followed behind her, open-eyed and seeming rather calm though the girl was obviously elated at the game.

“Tag me! Tag me~” she chimed, giggling some more as she twirled around.

One figure looked to see the other’s eyes fixated on Maria’s youthful beauty, her innocence and charms, and smiled.

“Maria!” the figure called, racing even faster, breathing so much harder now, as she reached forward to tag her.

“STOP!”

Maria and the two figures paused, scared out of their game as a large, round man walked into view. His towering figure had his arms wrapped behind his back, his glasses gleaming in the vast sparkling lights of deep space behind him.

“How many times must I remind you.” He handed Maria a vile, and wearily, she trembled and stepped back.

“But grandfather…” she pleaded, before he shook his head, and bent down to her. His mustache moved with each tender word he spoke.

“Now, Maria. You were coughing up blood last night… you must take your medicine and rest more than play. I know you want to play, and feel exceptionally invincible with Shadow and Ember by your side… but you must remember…”

He then looked with a shaded stare to his creations… less tenderly than he had the child…

“They are still dangerous.”

The figure held her hand… stepping back and looking in the light with widened eyes.

Claws…

The other figure entered the darkness, “We can’t actually play with her, Ember.”

In horror and sorrow, the figure began to cry, and lifted a claw to touch it, unsure of what it was.

She flinched back as it scratched her, unaware of her body or her abilities.

She looked to the other figures hands, and shouted, “Why were you created differently!? You can play with her!”

“…No, Ember.” Shadow stepped into the light, his eyes glaring down at her in all seriousness. “I can’t.” he lifted his head up, pride and protection filling his brilliant red eyes.

“We never will.”

***

Ember had crash landed in a separate pod from Shadow. Gerald had sent her down first, having created her to protect rather than cure humanity, as was Shadow’s true design.

In all honesty, she was created as a companion to assist Shadow… but since she couldn’t find him or even know if he existed anymore, she wandered around the earth in search of anyone who needed help.

Her memory of everything was perfect. As was part of her creation, she was a walking scrapbook of every detail she had ever witnessed in her life.

She had stumbled upon a village, who accepted and welcomed her in.

Every day she would venture out to gather food and supplies for them, beginning to learn more about the world Maria loved so much, and happily did her designed purpose of watching over the earth and keeping its people safe.

Until that one day…

***

“Sing, sing!”

Ember, an immortal wolf with dark grey hair, red streaks much like Shadow’s, who she considered her brother; white tips on her ears, feet, and hands, eyes a deeper purple than amethyst, was given new clothes and a home. It was more than she could ever ask for.

“I… could maybe sing… one song~” she winked and stuck her tongue out to the side. The kids all cheered, as the adults smiled and nodded their heads.

Sweet is the winter,…

Calm is the thunder…

And don’t you cry~

Mother is here now…

To bring in the spring and create the things of life~

Rain, rain, rain…

Do you remember the warm rain?

Be patient, my child, and sing without guile

Bittersweet is the spring, that carries in the breeze…

Calmed by the melting snow…

And don’t~ you~ cry~

Before Maria would go to sleep each night, she would ask Ember to sing to her. And soon after that, Maria would sing it to Shadow before he was placed back in his experimentation pod for further study and… ‘fixing’.

Ember’s tail flicked as her face lit up from the children cheering and begging for her to sing it again, but the adults hurried them to bed.

The orphans… on the other hand, wouldn’t stop pleading.

The orphans were rumored to have parents who funded the ARK project, since the pod she escaped in was programmed to land somewhere ‘safe’ she figured it meant one of the funders.

Then… that horrible night… a night she wished to simply forget.

But such was her curse…

To never… forget.

There was smoke everywhere.

G.U.N had tracked down the children, sent to the village for safe keeping… and performed… a horrible, horrible deed…

“No…” Ember dropped all the supplies she was carrying, seeing the village on fire.

“No…” She dropped to her knees when her feet carried her faster than she thought possible to the orphanage.

Blood.

Crimson blood mingled with ash and smoke.

Her claws gripped into the floorboards.

“NOOO!!!”

She tore into them, as something on her chest burst free from it’s hiding and shined brightly around her.

A dark aura rose.

She had failed her purpose…

She was created to protect humanity…

She had failed.

“We can’t actually play with her, Ember.”

Her eyes jutted open, having not realized what she had done.

“We never will.”

She had taken down the whole building. Shredding the beds, ripping the burning roof and ceiling down.

She cried and cried… staring up at the smoky sky, grey as her fur…

Then, she felt something like a ‘tink!’ hit the ground hard and roll towards her feet.

With her horror-stricken eyes, she slowly gestured her head down to it.

Her eyes flinched in a sharpened focus at the words inscribed on the smoke-grenade.

G.U.N

***

“I’ll kill them.”

She huffed, leaning a bruised arm against a nearby tree, and looking out at the G.U.N headquarters.

“I’ll… urk… make them pay.”

She was tried, weary, and but her silliness never stopped coming. She leaned her head back, “Then I’ll buy ice cream~” she laughed, in a maniacal, broken-spirited way before collapsing to the ground.

“50 years… and you’d think Gerald would have considered putting some healing properties into me too.” She struggled, but quickly lifted herself back up again.

She hadn’t eaten in days.

***

“Sir! There’s been a disturbance in sector B!”

“What in blue blazes is going on here!?”

“General it’s… it’s a girl!”

“A girl!? What the devil… Someone’s Ex?”

“Sir… she’s…”

The Solder froze at the monitors, shaking as his mouth and knees wouldn’t move any further.

“…Crazy Ex?”

The general looked old, his short white beard lifted to the side as did his confusion.

“Give it here!”

He shoved the boy aside and then gawked at the image.

Blurred and with a lot of static, you could make out the tail and ears of a figure moving quickly and jumping around the scene, attacking and knocking men and robots alike down with a single strike.

“…She’s fast!”

“No… teleporting.”

“What?”

The General quickly walked down the stairs of his upper division computer-room, pointing and shouting at people in various desks below them. “Get me a Chaos reading on that girl. I want to know what this thing wants. What’s her power level? Do we have Rouge on standby?”

“Sir! Rouge is currently on route to cracking Project Inferno.” A woman stood perfectly straight, having a head-mic that spiraled in a cord around her neck before curving upon her cheek.

He grabbed his hand and threw it against the railing, leaning on it.

Then… slowly, in his moment of feeling trapped… he turned around. “… Put her image on the big screen.”

The soldier looked to his commanding officer, who nodded. He wearily, with sweat dripping down the side of his forehead and cheek, flicked the switch and hit a button.

Ember’s face came in on a close-up, her teeth rearing open to chomp down on a robot, shaking the disk-like gun from it’s small pole and shaking it till it ripped free.

“…More like a monster than little girl.” The General scoffed… before putting his hat back on, and adjusting it.

“…Bring out…”

“Project Shadow.”

(My thoughts: While writing this first chapter I wanted to get the information the reader needed as soon as possible. When going back for edits, I’d like to organize it to be more compelling, but with so much data on her, I wanted to make sure the essential of ‘need to know’ basis was there. I’ll include more based on the Patron’s wishes, but for now, I really wanted to show Ember as loving, conflicted, protective, wild, and still a goofball as her description made me believe she is. I included some minor details about powers, but I want to expand upon them on the following pages. This is simply my first few chapters in introduction before moving on to ‘rising action’ where she will be reunited with Shadow, who won’t remember her until she triggers a memory, which is part of her job/task. I wanted to stay true to her, but leave her as a mystery the audience still wants to figure out, and learn more about. This was the ‘interest’ and ‘hook’ of the story, something I hope to go back and work with if the Patron has any further comments for. : ) Overall, I deeply enjoyed my first attempt at writing for Ember the Immortal Wolf, and hope many others will enjoy her story as I continue writing it!)

The Ashes of Embers

Ember teleported, feeling the radiating warmth of the lost Chaos Emerald Gerald Robotnik stole from Angel Island long ago…

It was imbedded deep in her chest, peeking out on occasion, though she never fully knew the extent of its power.

During times of hardship, she’d sometimes blackout and awake to see her glowing… but what did it mean?

Chaos Emeralds weren’t common knowledge, even to Gerald.

Ember simply tried to harness or ignore it, worried it may control her more than she let on.

She knocked out more robots and security cameras, before the whole sector started shutting down.

She looked around her, her eyes shifting as the lights cut off and large, metallic doors slammed in her wake.

“…So, we’re playing hide and seek in the dark, eh?” She smiled, but a small bit of sweat trinkled down her spine.

What were they playing at?

She couldn’t trust them. She couldn’t even trust the dark. They would play dirty… they always did.

Suddenly, a green glow shined through in lines above the ceiling, and she cautiously looked up, before jumping back in fright.

“Ah!” she put her hands up over the front of her head, trying to defend herself if something should jump down from the air-conditioning units above.

The barred lining above did get dented and hit, before crashing down, along with some ceiling debris, as a figure leaped down and threw out his arm in the dusty green light.

“Chaos Spear!”

“W-woah!”

Instinctively, she raced on all fours away from the explosion, only seeing the shadows of the spears and carefully tumbling into the side of the adjacent wall to avoid injury.

“Offph!” she landed upside, her butt crashing against the wall and taking most of the damage. “Yyyyyeeee-ooooww…” she groaned in some pain, her eye twitching a bit as she turned herself over on the ground.

Getting to her knees, she heard a gun cock, and frightfully looked up with eyes shrinking in terror.

She saw the dust settle… as the front of the gun pierced her vision and hovered steadily in front of her face.

“Don’t move.”

She obeyed, but her eyes couldn’t help and wander up to the figure as the green light still beamed a beautiful aura around him.

She suddenly recognized the red stripes… the hedgehog quills… the serious frown.

“…Shadow?”

She couldn’t believe her eyes!

He raised an eyebrow to her.

“Shadow! It’s me..! It’s-!”

She moved to her legs.

Then a gunshot.

Her vision went blurry as something warm and wet traveled down her leg…

***

“Ember, come with me!”

“But, Doctor, what about Mari-!”

“Shadow’s taking care of her, you must be preserved! For his and her sake!”

The two traveled desperately down a long corridor, on the opposite wing of what they feared were the other G.U.N solders hunting down Shadow and chasing Maria.

Ember would have never guessed the sound of the gunshot, nor the escape pod was only holding one experiment… and not another human life.

“Doctor…” she saw him panting, and realized he wasn’t going to make it.

She tried to take the initiative, gripping his hand tighter that was holding hers and racing ahead of him. “Come on!”

He looked to her in amazement.

“Why… why are you so determined to..?”

An explosion happened by the right side of their faces, and the Doctor was having a hard time stabilizing himself.

“We have to keep moving!” Ember encouraged, her heart full as she dared not turn around to see him suffering to run any longer.

When just in front of the escape chamber, Gerald collapsed, holding his side.

She spun around and gripped his arm with both her hands this time, being careful to not dig her claws into his fragile, old skin.

“Gerald, please!”

“…Gerald?” He looked up at her, “My dear girl…”

Her eyes began to water.

“You’ve always known… you can call me… Grandpa.”

Her eyes widened.

She thought only Maria could address him as true family.

He always seemed so strict…

She started sniffling as her nose became filled with her emotion as well, and in her embarrassment, she shook her head and tears flew everywhere as she cried out.

“Don’t leave me behind!”

“My creation… how beautiful you’ve grown… but I’m afraid it’s me you’ll be leaving behind.”

Another explosion, and this time, they were both thrown against the wall. Pieces of the ARK crash against them, and when Ember came too, footsteps were already approaching.

“Doc… Granpa…”

She wearily summoned the last of her strength, pushing the metallic pieces off of her and digging ferociously through the pile of debris.

“GRANDPA!!!”

When she found his face, her eyes shone with gratitude for seeing him still alive.

“Grandpa…”

“Y-you must go…”

She clenched her teeth. That shine fading.

She looped an arm over her shoulder and hoisted him up, carrying him fully over her shoulders and racing into the room.

“Coordinates…” she stated.

He didn’t respond, just looking at her blankly…

“Coordinates!” she turned more fiercely to his face, demanding he let her save him.

“… 0.003. 27. The planet Earth.”

She typed such things in, and it looked like a speed-dial for earth.

“…You’ll be safe there?”

“…”

He looked down.

“Gerald?”

She looked worriedly up at him, before shaking her head.

“I mean..! …Grandpa.”

“…Hurh..”

He moved himself up, and she lightly set him down, allowing him to lean on the console.

He rested a hand by his chest, and the other… tenderly upon her cheek.

“If only I had the chance to tell you this…with Shadow by your side, so that he may too know how I truly feel.”

“…W-… what are you saying?”

“Open the door!”

Ember gasped, flinging her tail back as she turned around, squatting on her knees before racing forward to grip a large, angular and pillared machine all the way around.

She grunted, squirmed, but her super strength came into play and she hoisted it up from it’s controls, which sparked around as she threw it at the door, causing a barricade.

“That won’t last long…” she feared, speaking out loud, and racing back to Robotnik.

“We have to put you in the escape pod!” she reached her arms out. “Please!”

“…If only Shadow was here…” His sorrowful voice pierced her fragile heart, and she felt the insult of a thousand needles upon a thousand swords rip into her being.

“…Why… Am I not good enough?” Her hands balled into fist, shaking…

She lowered her head, “Why did Maria always favor Shadow?... cause he could hold her? And I could hurt her?” she looked at her clawed-hands. “Why… why did you make me in the image of a monster!?” she started to cry, before Gerald lifted his hands to her face.

“My dear… I created you to scare away the evil of humanity… you’re more beautiful now than I could have ever imagined your design to take form in.”

She slowly opened her shaking eyes, “Grandpa…”

“We’re moving in! All units standby!”

The door was being budged open by powerful hits, freaking Ember out as she turned around, but Gerald moved forward, pushing her back little by little while he moved on his knees.

“You’re all humanity has left in this time of cruelty and panic. Find Shadow. Protect Maria and all humanity. Don’t let my research die in vain. And with all the love of a father… know that I created you and Shadow with the intent to serve and provide humanity a service for the future! You are its last hope! Do this for me..! Do not fail me! Do not fail Maria!”

Her eyes widened, “Granpa…” he shoved her into the escape pod, and pulled down the lever.

“Heh…” he smirked.

“I..! I love y-!”

The pod dropped, as Ember watched the men storm the room with explosives and gunfire. “Drop to your knees-!”

***

“It was over instantly.”

“That’s our Shadow!”

Ember slowly rotated her head, realizing her since of gravity was off, and looked at her restrains on a tilted countertop.

“W-…Where the heck am I?!”

“Silence.”

Her ears recognized the familiar sound and turned to Shadow. Her eyes trembled with joy. “Shadow!”

He looked at her… but there wasn’t anything in his expression that showed the same familiarity.

“Shadow?” She became confused, had they brainwashed him?

“State your purpose.” A man approached her.

She growled, her tail flicking around in annoyance. “To seek revenge for all those innocent children and families you slaughtered to cover up the ARK incident 50 years ago!”

Shadow’s eyes widened, as he unfolded his arms to grip his head.

He seemed in his own world, trembling slightly as he seemed to have a triggered headache.

“Impossible! How can you say such a thing!?”

“As if you don’t know!” She spat out, hitting a guy in the eye.

“My eye!” he screamed and raced out the window.

“Someone get that sergeant a napkin and a new pair of privates, private.”

“I know what I saw…”

She snarled down, glaring at the man speaking.

“You wimps can’t even admit your wrongs!!!”

She struggled from her binds, “RAhhh…!”

“Secure her soldier!”

“Touch me and I’ll rip your arm off with one fell bite!”

The soldier stepped back as she clamped her mouth down with a nip his way.

“Shadow, teach our ‘guest’ some manners.” The man folded his arms.

“…Shadow?”

He didn’t look at him.

“…Shadow! For pete’s sake!”

“…No.”

Shadow rose his head up, fire in his eyes.

“For Maria’s sake…”

“What?”

Shadow pulled up the gun.

“What on earth are you doing!?”

The men stepped back, all aiming their weapons to Shadow.

“What on earth indeed.”

He smirked and aimed up.

He shot a sprinkler-system, causing the rest to go off and then started fighting the men in the room.

They tried to fire, but the water made their gunpowder moist, leaving the guns useless.

“Darn!” the general cried out, before being knocked down.

Shadow turned to Ember.

She held her breath a second, before waving her tail out as if saying ‘Hello, remember me?’ as he raised his arm across his chest.

“Chaos…”

She started panicking, humorously wiggling and shaking in her now cold restraints.

“Spear!”

He shot out some spears that cut her restrains clear-clean off her skins, and she happily leaped down from the counter.

“You do remember me-!”

She went to hug him, but he slammed a hand in her face, and threw her over his shoulder, carrying her out as he blasted the door down.

“Nooope. I think you don’t.”

She blinked her eyes in silly understanding then.

Maybe he had brain damage?

But with his fast recovery…

She then looked to her side, and realized her injury had been patched up and healed as well.

“Phew…”

She was glad something was done to it before it got infected and polluted her recovery.

“Stop them!”

Shadow raised up the Chaos Emerald, as she noticed it was similar to hers…

There was a huge missile that blasted through the water at them.

“Hang on!” Ember, even stationed on his shoulder, still summoned a bubbled-shield around her and Shadow, her emerald glowing from her concealed chest, and guarded them against the blast.

He looked over to her, “…Hmph.” Then away.

“Ah, don’t tell you weren’t impressed.” She looked cockily over to him, waiting for him to thank her, but it never came.

“Woah! Is it possible you got even more serious with dementia?”

“Chaos Control!” Shadow teleported them away, as G.U.N soldiers blocked their every move.

“Dang it!” The general raced out, holding his disabled gun. “She had to mention Code Blue!”

***

(Author’s note: Although this second chapter carries the amount paid for, I decided to give the Patron more for her money. Enjoy! :D I also really liked giving her a silly side, along with an interesting and compelling backstory!)

Shadow dropped Ember down roughly to the ground, and walked towards a tree upon a hill, before turning back to her, the wind rapidly pressing against the two of them.

His quills moved swiftly in the wind, but his face remained stationary.

“Who are you? And how do you know about ARK?”

Ember rubbed her head, “Ouch… can’t you be easier on me? I’m your sister after all.” She sighed, dropping her head. “You always did play rough.”

“Sister? No such thing.” He raised an eyebrow, before turning fully to face her. “Speak up… I have no time for-“

“As far as I’m concerned, you have time to bake as many cakes as you want and eat them all on different days too.”

He seemed confused, unsure of her riddle, as she waited to see if he would laugh, but then knew he never would.

She got up, holding out her hands. “My name is Ember. I was created with you. To be a aid for you and protect humanity. I’ve failed protecting humanity… but maybe I can still help you.”

She then walked forward, cautiously as he seemed to be looking for any sign of lies.

“It’s hard for me to trust people… I’m sure, with whatever you went through, it’s just as hard. Tell me what happened to you and Maria, and I’ll relay everything.”

His eyes looked down, a deep painful sorrow before back up at her, “...What do you mean… relay?”

“Heh.” She smiled, “The word you should get hooked on is… everything. Thus, why I emphasized it.” She joked a little, before straightened up and stretching a bit. “Alright, alright. Here goes nothing.”

She leaned forward, hands on her hips, looking him straight in the eye as she tipped her boots up slightly, trying to look cute and sister-like. “I have a perfect memory. I can remember everything I’ve ever seen. The joy outweighs the sorrow, the anger… but family triumphant over all my memories… no matter what they are. Or how tragic they appear.”

She took a deep breath, leaning up. “Shadow The Hedgehog.” She out stretched her hand to him again.

There was a long pause…

“I’m your family.”

(This was all that was paid for, plus the tip! I would like to remind you to please send me a link where you post this, and also if you could give me a review of your experience with me and the product, I would be very appreciative! As always, you must keep my name and who made this product for you on the document. If you post it anywhere, I have to be listed with it. And please send me a link cause that’s always fun to show-off something I’m proud of making XD I hope you enjoyed it! I really liked fiddling with Ember and figuring out how to organize her backstory for you. You can always pay for me to continue this story, too. So there’s that option. Thank you and I hope you’re satisfied with your purchase! Ember is so interesting because of her emotions being so complexed. For one, she’s kind and silly, but on the other hand, she’s got a darker tone that can almost match Shadow’s. It’s fun to play with those complicated emotions and I really gravitated towards the emerald in her chest and also her detailed memories. Flashbacks would be so common, in my logic anyway, if you had a perfect memory of everything; mostly cause everything would trigger it! Shadow gets triggered a lot, I figured Ember would get triggered even more so. Thank you and I hope to work with you in the future as well! :D If there’s any concerns or things you want me to elaborate on, I’d be happy to go back and review this rough draft. If you’d like anything edited, I should remind you that this is the time to consult me to do the revisions. There is no refunds, and the rules state that only I can edit this document/product. So make sure it’s everything you want before we shake hands. Thank you and I really do love your amazing Sonic Character: Ember the Immortal Wolf! *Also, thanks for the tip ;Db)

(Friendly reminder to please give me link if you're submitting it anywhere, a review of how your experience with me and how the product was for you, and lastly to mention me wherever the document is submitted or posted to with a link or mention. (This is enforced by the rules you agreed to upon your purchase!) I'd also like to reblog or share wherever you posted it so that many may enjoy the work!

 This is the last look-over. So please let me know what you like or would like edited. There will be no refunds or post-edits after this call, and according to the rules only I can edit this document. So please, remember to tell me if you see any errors or things you'd like mentioned. If there's anything you want elaborated on and such. I'd be more than happy to go over the document/product with you till you are satisfied :) )

[troublescout]

H&CF 04x06 : A Connection Is Made

This show just ruminates in my head and there’s so much to love about this episode...

EDITED for realizations about the sketchy nature of Alexa Vonn, as well as the Donna/Joe dynamic...

Joe’s Comet slogans are pretty awful, but I’m glad to see Cam wanting to be his focus group. It says a lot that they made it through last week’s revelations and are spending time in the Airstream together.

Speaking of which, “Cheese egg??” Still sounds vile, but aww.

Donna ousting Cecil was rough, but I like the softness it brings out of her... even if it is partially a manipulation so she doesn't have to face Cameron.

Donna’s idea of “the truth” (that she wants Cecile to tell) is such a lie. Donna needs to reconnect with honesty in such a big way. She’s not being open or transparent with anyone in her life right now and it’s so corrosive.

ROCKETS!!!

Hayley’s idea of “just us” means Gordon, Joe, and Cam (plus a bonus of Katie for her dad). That just warms my heart. Although, I do wonder why no Joanie? (Considering their bonding later, I find it a nice parallel that this is also who Joe would pick as his “just us” group.)

El Gordo means handsome. Ha!

“He asked me for help, I didn’t go out and write him an algorithm.” Gordon has her here. Cam has a bunch of money and could have given him a nice chunk of change, or steered him to tell Diane, or towards other talented coders, but she “wanted to see if she could do it”. First and foremost she wanted to help Bos, but Gordon knows she was also just itching to touch a keyboard. “I know you. You dream in code.” I love where their relationship is at.

Joe scampering up to Cam like an eager puppy to ask her to film them is ADORABLE. And how endearing Cam finds it is pretty darn adorable too.

The whole rocket seen is so joyous and such a respite for this show/entire series. I could have watched it all the live long day.

Cut to Donna all alone with “music to kill yourself by”. :(

Joanie asks how Bos is. She lied her way into the hospital to see him. She’s really a good egg underneath the bluster.

When Donna reminisces about her crazy/brave moment of freedom that she covets from her youth, she recalls a camping trip with Gordon. This is so sad because she led Gordon to believe she really hated camping, but clearly that’s not the whole truth.

Donna’s cartwheel... You could still be crazy, Donna! Just remember what Gordon said before you went to Comdex with the Giant... “You're crazy, too. No, no, you forget that, but you are. We were both crazy and then all of a sudden, you decided you needed to be the sane one. That you needed to take care of me, but you don't. Look, be crazy with me.” She has it in her. She’s trying so hard to be sane, she’s going the bad kind of crazy.

Joe wants kids SO bad. My heart aches for him.

Cameron’s line about how, “Kids are great if you can give birth to a 14 year-old” echoes what she told Bos about how if were up to her, she and Tom would “get them out of a vending machine like everything else in Japan”. It’s definitely not a flat out condemnation of having children in general, but it shows a real hesitation about babies and possibly pregnancy? I wonder if Cam has any concerns over fertility considering her inability to get pregnant with Tom? I wonder if Cam wants kids, but feels too irresponsible/selfish to devote herself to an infant? Yes, Cam was awkward as hell with Bos’s grandson, but that was 7+ years ago when she was a very different person in a very different place. Plus, being awkward with other people’s babies (especially if you’ve never been around a baby before) doesn’t mean you don’t ever want your own. I’m basically just feeling like the show is setting us/Joe up to make assumptions about what Cam wants, when the only thing she’s ever said outright is that she wasn’t ready/didn’t want children with Tom. And considering she wanted Tom to leave and was really in love with Joe, that makes total sense. Part of me feels like Bos is right, and Cam might surprise us with how she actually feels on the subject...

Hayley sending the “Cameron Howe Fansite”, and the way it made Cam realize she’s created many things that are loved, was a well placed nudge in the right direction. (Tangent: So many reviewers are misattributing the fansite to Alexa Vonn, so I’m going to get into this for a sec... Alexa Vonn is the woman who asked Cam questions about Pilgrim at the MISC panel before Cam/Donna had their showdown. After seeing the fansite Hayley sent her, Cam was inspired to take the meeting with Alexa who had been trying to get in contact with Cam via email since MISC. Alexa offers Cam a job because she admires Cam’s skills and world-building capabilities, but Alexa has absolutely zero to do with the fansite.)

As much as I love "The Howe of it All”... How did the author of it get those pretty personal pictures of Cam (At her desk at Cardiff? With her Mutiny team back in TX?) Was it created by one of her former coder monkeys? I’m probably overthinking something they don’t want me too...

Joe’s computer is still running Loadstar. Brand/girlfriend loyalist!

Hayley crushing on Vanessa was just delightful. And her losing her train of thought because of it was so spot-on. Susannah Skaggs has been Knocking. It. Out. Of. The. Park.

And Joe realizing Hayley has a crush is some of the loveliest work by Pace to date. Joe’s warm, protective face! Golden! He feels such a kinship with her and it’s so pure.

Joe’s, “she seems cool,” was the perfect touch. Approval without calling her out.

Hayley getting along with Katie so well this week made me realize that perhaps last week she more flustered by listening to PJ Harvey than she was over Katie and Joanie bonding or even her dad’s sex life. Joanie asking if she could borrow the PJ Harvey Walkman to go after and check on Hayley makes me think that maybe Joanie is clued in to her sister’s sexuality... Especially because later we see Hayley listening to it, not Joanie. Maybe? Maybe not?

“Mutiny was the most fun I ever had.” Great call back to S3 finale.

Community was Donna’s brainchild and it was so heartwarming to have coder guy, Bobby Aron, tell her how much it meant to him. Unfortunately it was even more heartbreaking to watch her implode the whole thing by drinking herself into bed with him. 

Loved the continuing reversal of traditional roles by having Diane propose to John. Huss was wonderful in his reveal of John’s betrayal. I want John happy so I’m glad it looks like they’ll pull through as a couple...

I love Hayley, but I agree with Gordon that she can’t be flunking school. That wasn’t their deal and Hayley didn’t even seem aware of how badly she was failing. And poor Gordon was actually handling the situation pretty well until the milkshake went flying. On the other hand, Hayley clearly needs Comet, so I hope they take Joe’s advice and find a compromise to get her back in the door.

Gordon trying to slam the soft-closing door. 🤣 Poor Gordo is always feeling impotent when he’d like to feel powerful.

I felt like Diane was very harsh on Donna, but perhaps deservedly so... As heart-wrenching as Donna’s “I can’t, I can’t, I just - can’t” was, it only proved that she’s letting a 7 year old wound rule her and drive her business decisions - in more ways than one. That coupled with her drinking problem and I think Diane is right to draw a hard line.

I’m not sure what I think of Alexa Vonn and her offer to “stay out of [Cam’s] way”. That was an interesting callback to what Joe told her at Lev’s hospital beside back in the day. It’s very cool to get bankrolled to do whatever you want, no strings attached, but my Spidey sense is tingling. Sounds too good to be truly stringless.

EDIT: I rewatched the Alexa scene and she actually comes off a lot like old-school Joe MacMillan. She acknowledges some flaws in Cam’s work, but is extraordinarily praising. She promises the future and what it could hold. How Cam could utilize new technology to bring about that change. She even goes so far as to call Cam a “builder”, which is what Joe has always called Gordon. And most damning of all? She said she got a copy of Pilgrim from Atari because “you can get anything if you know how to ask”. Dun dun dunnnn!! Now if that doesn’t sound like old-Joe/Joe MacMillian Sr., I don’t know what does. Alexa definitely has me worried that she’s just another parasite that she’s claiming she won’t be.

EDIT: I also forgot to mention my theory ax to why Alexa has the money to fund Cameron at such a young age... it's very possible Alexa comes from inherited wealth. Joe wasn't handed his father's money at a young age because he was expected to earn his own way, but if he had been, he could have funded a project like this. (Remember the house he grew up in?) I'm banking that Alexa is independently wealthy and works as a reporter/investor just because she wants to and gaming/tech is where her interest lies. But I guess we'll see...

All this being said, I love that Alexa called out Cameron on the fact that she really didn’t want anyone to win Pilgrim. She made it so difficult that only people who truly know Cam have a chance -- which makes sense because she was isolated when she wrote it and was craving connection with the people who knew her best... Which is why Donna is excelling. Although I think she’s also excelling because it’s the only connection Donna has to Cam right now, so it drives her back to the game repeatedly. Joe, on the other hand, played the game before he and Cam got back together. We know he “hasn’t finished it yet”, but I wonder if he’s played it at all since they became a couple. Joe tends to go in for the human touch when he can. Generally speaking he’s only resorted to playing games to be near Cam when they were estranged.

Why is Gordon SO freaking inept at cleaning that window!

I love Joe and Gordon’s friendship SO MUCH. I love that Joe went to check on Gordon and how subtle and supportive he was trying to be of both Gordon and Hayley simultaneously. However, Gordon really stepped in it with the “you just want what’s best for you” and the “you’re not a parent and you never will be” crap. Does Gordon really not see how Joe has changed over the years? How Joe has made huge strides even from a few episodes back when Gordon told him he pushes people too much? Since then, Joe has made a marked effort to not push Hayley or Cameron or Gordon for that matter, but instead to ask their opinion and be more considerate.

Again, I need to praise Pace’s acting. Joe’s silent devastation at being told by his best friend that not only will he never have kids, but also that he doesn’t have what it takes to be a parent, period, is palatable and particularly difficult to watch.

The reveal of Donna’s drinking problem is also terribly painful. Joanie was so excited to talk about France and bond and then it all just fades into resigned disappointment.

It’s a little thing, but I really like that when Joanie doesn’t want to play Pilgrim with her mother, she says she wants to “go check on Hayley”. Clark sisters are my fav sisters.

Do Hayley and Joanie talk about how their mom is drinking too much?

Joe and Bos bonding warms my heart. Gordon’s remarks from earlier were so stuck in Joe’s head in this scene. I’m glad Bos can see that Joe’s changed and flat out told him so. 

Joe did used to be an asshole and Bos once had the police kick the shit out of Joe as a power play to make him fall in line. They’ve both come a long way.

Joe telling Bos he always has a place to stay if things don’t work out with Diane? Case in point. And very sweet. Joe doesn’t want anyone to feel like they don’t have a place they belong. Bos’s little smile! 

Donna’s drunk driving karaoke session nearly gave me a heart attack. That shit was so tense.

Gordon picking Donna up from the drunk tank was an excellent throw back to the first time we met Gordon when she was picking him up from the drunk tank.

I’m so glad Gordon could be there for Donna (Did anyone else notice he drove himself! No driver!), but I wish Donna could really hear and accept what he was saying. The way she didn’t take his offered hand... Donna is so disappointed with and hard on herself and I just want to hug her and shake her simultaneously. 

And Bishé was just stellar in her last scene opposite Cam. You can see that as much as Cam wishes things were probably different between her and Donna, she has, in many ways, let it go and moved past it. She has Joe and Bos and Gordon and even Hayley/Joanie in her life in a meaningful/open way. (“[Joe] already knows,” took the wind out of Donna in such a profound way.) Cam is more ruled by Pilgrim’s failure now than Mutiny’s and she’s making great strides to move past that as well. She’s literally willing to give away her code because it wasn’t that important to her. Helping Bos was. Donna can have the code; she doesn’t care. Donna, on the other hand, is still smarting from 7 years ago and 3-4 years ago. Her needing Cam’s code just drives home for Donna what she has always feared - that she’s nothing special without Cam. It’s another moment that’s just completely heartbreaking. Donna doesn’t have anyone in her life she’s being truly open with. She’s not a person Bos went to for help, she feels slighted by and like she’s failing Diane, she doesn’t have Cam, Hayley is bonding heavily with her father and his girlfriend and Joe and is happier at Comet than at home. Joanie is a reminder of the person she feels like she was always too afraid to be (or used to be and can’t get back to). And Gordon is there for her, but he’s moving on with his life (has Comet, BFF Joe, Hayley, Katie, even Cam) and she feels so alone. I really can’t wait for the inevitable upswing, but watching Bishé sink Donna to the very bottom has been a real thing of beauty. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this show should be winning all sorts of awards.

Second to last moment of the show is Gordon finding out his daughter is smitten with a girl and I thought it was handled so well. Gordon has been excelling as a dad this year, so my fingers are crossed that he’ll keep it up when it comes to handling this situation with Hayley. The good thing is, she definitely has a strong ally and support system in Joe if her parents screw up.

Cameron is finally back online and it’s music to her ears and mine. Girl is grumpy and idle and as Gordon said, “gets into trouble” without her tech. Welcome home, baby.

On a different note, I’m actually incredibly psyched to see the Donna/Joe showdown teased in the preview for next week. Donna has always had such animosity for Joe that, in my mind, has felt disproportionate to what he’s actually done to her. He’s never outwardly tried to hurt her in anyway. And Gordon and Cam, the people who were most hurt by his actions, not only forgave him, but love him, yet Donna generally holds steady in her opinion that Joe is a villain. Donna on the other hand, knew Joe had nothing to do with WestNet and still concocted and executed the plan with Cameron to completely destroy his reputation/career. It’s such an fascinating dynamic especially because they’ve never shared much screen time together.

In the S3 finale, Joe said when he saw the Symphonic debut, he knew not only Gordon, but also Donna, were “geniuses ahead of their time”. He thought they were both brilliant and yet when it came time to reverse engineer a PC, he went to Gordon (not Donna and not both of them). I’ve always wondered if she resented that on some level. Joe is notorious for having this ability to spot someone’s potential and he saw it in Gordon and he saw it in Cam, but he never actively courted Donna. Why is that?? I’ve always found it puzzling. Was his dismissal of her help to recover the BIOS in S1 really because he thought her skills were out of date or was he just pushing her buttons to get her to step up? Or was he just being ruled by his “family is evil at work and in general” headspace at the time?

Arguably, Joe and Donna’s largest interaction was in S1E6 “Landfall”. Even after Donna had Joe’s number and figured out that he had engineered Cam “losing the BIOS”, they had such an open, honest rapport while waiting out the huge storm. She saw him play with her kids and go to great lengths to comfort and entertain them. They were laughing and seemed to be genuinely enjoying each other’s company on the couch. Joe even told her about his mother taking him up to the roof. I find the way their relationship devolved and the animosity that grew/ solidified to be so interesting.

EDIT: I also wanted to say, I find it fascinating that despite Donna’s general condemnation of Joe and his behavior, it is his former managerial style and business acumen that she seeks to emulate more than any other. Donna recognized early on that Joe’s behavior was toxic to his life (particularly his personal life), but still sought to model her own behavior after his because she wanted his perceived success/recognition. As expected, it was detrimental to her personal relationships. In the mean time, Joe has moved away from this toxic modus operandi and is much happier, but has become weary of Donna’s ruthlessness. It’s a weird role reversal that I find really compelling.

EDIT: Donna is an amazing business woman, no doubt, but I really miss her engineering side and hope it comes back into play. I feel like she fled that field because she felt inadequate and saw an alternate venue to shine, but Donna’s true strength is she basically possesses all the other character’s skills at once: She has the business savvy, the engineering genius, understands coding, and gets emotionally invested, but can pivot and refocus if need be when something’s not working. Her only real downfall is her constant need to prove herself and seek external validation. Without it, she wouldn’t make almost any of the mistakes that she has. In reality, she could be the strongest player because she understands all sides of the board. She just desperately needs to get out of her own way.

For those of you afraid that there is too much ground to cover before the show is over, I might remind you that this time last season Gordon and Cam were bonding over Mario Cart, Cam had just gotten married, and Joe and Ryan were working on the NSFNET deal behind the board’s back. The show moved a lot of mountains before that season was through. There are very few shows I have faith in, but I do have faith in this one. Truthfully, it might be the only one. I think it will get to where it needs to go before all is said and done. And be emotionally satisfying to boot. 

That being said, I’d still take a season 5 in a heartbeat. Less than.

To those of you that made it to the end of this rambling, I’m genuinely shocked. Thanks for reading!

[nonbinarypastels]

you're not obligated to forgive people who have hurt you. you're not obligated to brush off the hurt with a smile and politeness. you're not obligated to respond to hurt in any particular way or to explain to the person who has hurt you what they did wrong and how it made you feel. whether a person intended to hurt you or not, you are still hurt and are entitled to feel how you feel and respond to that how you may.

however, that being said--

i think there's absolutely a difference between someone who says/does something hurtful because they lack the education to know that it is hurtful and someone who says/does something hurtful out of willful ignorance or malice. i also think that not all hurts are created equally.

the thing is this: people are not perfect. people make mistakes. people slip up and fuck up and they say and do things that hurt other people. everyone on this planet at some point has hurt another person either with their words or their actions. not a single one of us is innocent in that and anyone who claims they are--that they have never, in their entire life, said or done something that hurt someone else--is either lying to make themselves look and feel superior to everyone else or is honestly so oblivious to the way their words/actions affect others that they have never considered the possibility that they could have done something hurtful somewhere along the line.

now, decent people? decent people realize the mistakes they've made. whether immediately or later on, they realize those mistakes and they apologize for them. they make the decision to try as hard as they can to not make those same mistakes again. they grow as human beings and as they do so they grow to care more about other people and how their words and actions can affect them. and as terrible as certain things and people in the world can be, as much as turning on the news makes me want to turn it off again five minutes later, as easy as it is to be a cynical buzzing hive of negativity and hatred---even with all of that, i still think that most of the people in the world are decent people.

but on tumblr there are so many people who do not believe this. there are so many people who subscribe to the polarizing idea that there is only good or bad, that people are defined by mistakes they made a year or two or five ago, that small fuck ups are worthy of the same response you'd give big ones, that no apology counts and no one is allowed to make up for their mistakes or ever be defined by more than them. nuance goes out the window, the middleground may as well not exist on any issue, the us vs. them mentality is alive and thriving and, quite frankly, poisoning all of us and the way we think and feel and behave.

it's unfair to generalize a website with literally millions of users and i would never say that all of tumblr is awful because there are so many good, wonderful people on here but within the website there are so many sections that are vile, that act as echo chambers, that are almost cult-like in the way they operate and the way the people who dominate them behave. there are so many people here who put on a performance of perfection and righteousness and who cyberbully and harass other users for their 'cause' who cannot even for a moment consider that what they are doing is wrong no matter what their motivations may be.

so, to the point of the post: people make mistakes, people hurt other people, and the people who are hurt are in no way obligated to forgive them or respond to that hurt in any certain way. this is all true and good and right. the problem is that on tumblr so many people have such an expectation of perfection from everyone around them that making mistakes--something that, again, literally every single person does--is an Ultimate Sin that is impossible to get over or ever make up for. people will regularly dig up a single thing that someone said 10 years ago and never repeated again in order to condemn them today, no explanations asked or allowed for. all mistakes are equal to the worst mistakes and should be responded to the same way, people who make a hurtful mistake by accident and who genuinely apologize for it are just as bad as people who purposefully and willfully harm you without a care in the world, and nuance and the reality of human imperfection cease to exist and god help anyone who tries to disagree.

this is all bullshit.

intent matters. what a person says matters. the reason they said it matters. the context they said it in matters. how they respond to you when you call them out matters. and whether they genuinely make the effort to not fuck up again or they don't care and continue to do it even after being told it's hurtful matters.

the entire whole of a situation matters, not just pieces of it. it's not just about the what but the why, the how, the who, and the what comes after.

since i'm posting this on a nonbinary focused blog i'll give a gender related example of what i'm talking about:

let's say i post on a forum where my gender identity is not listed in my signature or profile and i have no talked about it in a post. another user replies to a post i made and, for whatever reason, nonchalantly assumes i'm a man. i correct them by saying i'm actually agender. the user apologizes, edits their post, and does not repeat the mistake again.

now let's say that i post on a forum where my gender identity is visbly listed, where i made a post specifically talking about being agender, and a user replies that i have to be either a man or woman with some more nbphobic shit. i reply correcting them but they continue to insist that there are only 2 genders and show zero sign of changing their mind and they just continue to get more and more hostile with their language.

these 2 scenarios feature the same mistake, my being misgendered, but they are not the same thing. the first person misgendered me by accident in a post that was otherwise just a normal reply to whatever i was saying, apologized when corrected, and made an effort to not repeat the mistake; the second person willfully chose to misgender me, was not at all apologetic when called out, and continued to misgender me even after. i was still misgendered in both scenarios and i would still feel badly about it in both scenarios but the people who hurt me were coming from two very different places and how i responded to that hurt reflects that.

when someone makes a mistake it is important to, again, consider the WHOLE situation:

-what did they say/do?

-why did they say/do it?

-do they have a history of saying/doing things like this?

-how did they respond when called out?

-did they repeat the same behavior after this incident?

there are exceptions to this---certain things are blatantly, obviously known to be wrong by pretty much everyone and are impossible to say/do by accident, and i do believe that certain things are quite inexcusable and unforgiveable---but there are so many situations where someone says something hurtful because they are simply speaking with a lack of information to know that it is hurtful in the first place or because of just a very human slip of the tongue and those situations, imo, are not at an equal level of horridness with those made by people who are acting out of malice or a lack of care for the feelings of the people around them.

other people can disagree---again, you're not obligated to forgive a mistake or to respond to it in a certain way---but in any case i think it's incredibly important to keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes, not all mistakes are created equally, and we should consider how we would want someone to treat us after we have made a mistake when we are dealing with other people. black and white thinking is, honestly, a terrible way to approach other people and this popular mindset on tumblr that people are incapable of changing and growing is not only incredibly unhealthy but it's also such an unrealistic view of the world. everyone is going to fuck up, everyone is going to make mistakes, and most people are going to apologize for those mistakes and work hard not to make them again. expecting perfection from everyone all the time is only setting yourself up for a life of disappointment, loneliness, and failure because perfection doesn't exist. it's much better to strive for growth, care, and kindness in the people around you and yourself. not only is it easier to achieve than perfection but it's a lot less stressful to expect from others too.

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

A shitty old drabble that’s been laying around on my laptop forever, it’s also RanAki/Ranposano? whatever y’all call it, bc I love them and the Poe ep- which the ficcy drabble takes place in

You miss me, don't you?

I can see it in the slits of your eyes, and I know that ever since that day with that horrifying story that you have suffered what I have gone through with your own body.

'The murderer was me.' You said that so confidently, and I knew there was no worry in placing my trust in you. But I couldn't figure that out, and by the time I lay myself on the line it was too late. Oh it makes my arteries quiver to know you saw me like that, dead on the floor.

Oh how I missed you. Even in that phantasmagoric story that felt more like a nightmare, it was the fairytale of my dreams. To think that such things as vile as death would bring us closer again, but I hate it. I hate not doing anything, but deep in my cold heart that bleeds all kind of blood, I was feeling some sadistic pleasure of you suffering with me, with me.

Oh how I miss the caw of your crow-like voice. Your ruffled hair splayed out like the stranded petals of spider lillies. But work made us unable to meet, much like the legend of the leaves and flower. I was busy bringing people to life, leaves raised- basic beauty of life. You were busy with your split-second whims and deduction, figuring and preventing death.

The green fields of your eyes, in the rare occurence that you would open them in front of me, a rarity that a flower of death is every fully alive, the leaves and nectar touching. Just one drink, just one moment, just one chance to hear you scream as you splay yourself on the examination table.

Okay that was a bit sadistic, but I can't help it. I can't help but feel a sullen fascination of grim with you, the occasions where you scream for me as I fix your wounds up. But you shouldn't be that loud, I give you a lollipop after, anyway.

I want to toss it aside, I want to disregard this as a strange occurrence, that will never happen again. We slipped apart, after those years of a meek Agency, lead by a snickering crow. If you were to die, if I were to die- would any of this matter? I don't need you to save me, you don't need to be saved- we're all relative monarchs here, so scrap all the middleschooler crap and let's navigate a train and sometimes intersect with each other.

I miss that. That casual feeling, that ease that came with being with you. I don't care if it's a fuck or a kiss or a hug, I just want you to be beside me. To chatter away, coffee in my hand, some sugary limited edition shake in yours. I want to see your eyes again, I want to feel your hand on mine as you keep telling me that coffee is worse than bleach if you don't have at least 4 spoons of sugar. Where we could just talk shit and shoot the breeze so much the sky has bullet holes.

One, especially a doctor should maintain a professional relationship after all. But...the truth is I already envy you so harshly. The carefree way you hold yourself, that shit-eating grin you get on your face when you 'win' over the most miniscule things. How you can seem so content to be alone yet so cheery and chipper to other people.

Do you feel the need to take people on the train so you feel less alone? I mean, how pathetic! How honest can a man be? But you're one step above me, once again. Whatever, I can still reach things from the top shelf, shithead. A detective like you probably can't even lie anyway.

The problem with that though, is that you know when to hide things. And you do so often.

Fuck it, that's my goal. I want to wipe that smartass smirk off your face, and I want you to look at me, I want to be beside you again, even if it's to shed some reality on that superiority complex.

But you came to me first. Am I that much of a mastermind seductress? You say it's some trivial thing, you  needed to pick up something. Well that's a lie, unless you're picking me up- you brought your bag home with you and oh for heck's sake a half-empty bottle of boiled candy. Congrats. I can only provide a slow, deadpan clap- which in retrospective I should've taken my gloves off for. It's hard to give the same effect.

But then you catch me off guard worse than any murderer satisfied with their delusion of a perfect crime. With a perfectly reasonable sentence, and one that in a perfect world you would ask. The world is by no means perfect nor hopeless, so perhaps this balance was in my favour. "We should talk about what happened."

"What's there to talk about?" I raise an eyebrow, and I see you back off slightly, like really? A shift in the weight of your shoulders, a tiny detail no one who hasn't seen you react in front of a cleaver would notice. You're more like a cat that way.

"Nothing, then." You wave a dismissive hand, and I so desperately want to call you out on your bullshit.

"Don't give me that, I've known you for years, doesn't take deduction." And so I do.

"Well that's it, isn't it?" Cryptic fucker.

"It isn't?" The solution to clear mist away is to add more mist.

"I give up." He shrugs. "I get confused on multiple-negatives and rhetoric questions."

"..." I pout, how ignorant can you get? That is, before I say, "What was it like to watch me die in your arms?" We can't help but laugh, and laugh we do.

"Absolutely terrifying." You snicker, and we know we're both serious. Laughter is genuine, and grim sorrow is as well. "I never expected that I'd care about you so much."

"Ah, is that right?" Inquisitive eyes, and your own open as well. It was only for a second, but I caught it, that fading forest of green.

"Well, of course." A glimmer opens, just one eye.

"You see death all the time." I point out, twisting the fate of your words, to what I want to hear.

"Not with you." The answer comes almost all too instantly, almost indignant of me dying. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"Don't plan on it."

Ah, damn. Too short a reply. We sit in silence once more, and with a heavy heart I feel that distance again with your eye slipping shut.

"You know, it's...strange." You smile again, and I don't play my cards too soon again. "Hmm?"

"Even with everything...I still felt at ease with you. Almost like-" Screw it, this is where I want it. "Old times, huh?" Your eyes flicker open in surprise.  "...Yeah."

"That's why you wanted to talk...right?" Got you. Another smirk. "Of course, but that's not all it." You nod to yourself, psh, as if you ever second-guessed yourself anyway. "I don't want things to go back to the way they used to, and I don't want them to go back to the way they were before Poe came along."

You stand up, and you shrug. "Is this 'love'? I don't know, don't really care, but I just want to be with you." I can't help but look down, and stifle a chuckle. Finally, but I can't help but savour the moment.

"Oh, what happened to 'all's well that's well for me'?"

"Well, I would be well, if you were well with me." A self-assured smirk and a poke on the shoulder.

"You know, I'm pissed." I can't help but sigh. "I wanted to try wiping that smirk off your face. Pity."

"What about a kiss then?" We both say at the same time, and both laugh. "Come on, am I really that predictable?" You put a hand to your head, so overly afraid of the mere notion that you are 'normal'.

Well, I guess it was easier than I thought to do so.

"One problem, your heels, I am not going to stretch myself for a kiss, that's beneath me." "You know what's beneath me?" "Shut up."

A hand settles on my tie, pulling me down slightly. "Better?" I raise an eyebrow.

Your lips press against mine, and when you pull away you have that grin that I adore. "Better."

[demitgibbs]

Christian Hypocrisy: Stedfast Baptist Church

Welcome to this episode of “Christian Hypocracy: Anti-Gay Christian Edition.” It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these so let’s start off 2019 old-school style and call out an anti-LGBTQ public figure who turns out to not be so morally upstanding after all.

Let me introduce you to Donnie Romero, former pastor of the Stedfast Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.

He’s the former pastor because he did some sins that “disqualified” him from pastorhood.

Romero’s pastor buddy Steven Anderson came to Stedfast Baptist Church so he could be there to help the church through Romero’s announcement.

In a video posted online Anderson explains why Romero had to step down, explaining that Romero’s address to the congregation didn’t include specifics because his wife and children were there and they didn’t want to “humiliate or disturb them.”

But for the sake of transparency, Anderson says, he wants to let people know what’s going on.

“Even pastors are human,” Anderson says. “I’m just going to mention what the sins were without going into detail. Basically the major sin involved was being with prostitutes, and then there were also marijuana and gambling that were also discovered.”

Well, first off they’re called “sex workers,” not prostitutes. Secondly, transparency is a good and rare thing in religious institutions, so yay them, I guess. Plus, Romero looked so damn sad in the video of him addressing his flock to tell them he’s bouncing. You could almost feel sorry for him.

Unless, of course, you know about the absolutely heinously hateful shit Romero has said about gay people. Then any pity you have for him really evaporates.

As the Star-Telegram reports, Southern Poverty Law Center designated Stedfast church a hate group in 2015. And that was before Romero went off about the Pulse nightclub victims in 2016.

“These 50 Sodomites were all perverts and pedophiles and they are the scum of the earth, and the earth is a little bit better place now, and I’ll even take it a little further,” he said according to the Star-Telegram. “I heard on the news today that there are still several dozen of these queers in ICU, and I will pray that God will finish the job that that man started.”

Now, I’ve been writing about anti-gay folks for over a decade now, and that is honestly one of the vilest quotes I have ever encountered. The lack of compassion is astounding. And notice that the guy with the gun, the guy who murdered scores of people and injured many more, is viewed as a tool of God’s will doing the Lord’s work with an assault rifle. Never mind that the shooter was Muslim, which in most circumstances would probably be a deal-breaker for Romero and his church. Hey, nobody’s perfect.

Anderson, too, is no stranger to hate.

“The good news is that at least 50 of these pedophiles are not going to be harming children anymore,” Anderson said after the Pulse shooting according to the Washington Post. “The bad news is that a lot of the homos in the bar are still alive, so they’re going to continue to molest children and recruit people into their filthy homosexual lifestyle.”

It bears repeating, again and again, that being LGBTQ does not make someone more likely to molest children. That’s a gross lie repeated by gross people. Nor do LGBTQ people recruit, unless you count lesbians who form the core of any good softball team.

Also according to the Post, “In one sermon recorded at his church, Anderson suggested the world could be AIDS-free by Christmas if only people ‘executed the homos like God recommends.’”

Has this guy met Mike Pence? Because I think they’d be great buds. They have a lot in common. In fact, should Trump get impeached I suspect Anderson could find a home in a Pence Administration simply by submitting a resume with his AIDS-Free By Christmas plan alone.

In case you were worried, no, Stedfast Baptist Church did not decide that being hateful was maybe a really crappy way to be Christian. Instead they doubled down, electing Jonathan Shelley to be their new pastor. He hates gays, too.

“They hate God. God has already given them up,” he says in an Oct. 2018 video according to the Star-Telegram “That’s the reason they’re doing these vile, disgusting things. They’re beasts, they’re wicked, they’re abominable, they’re filthy today.”

Feeling disgusted? Well, you could pray for their souls, but I’m not sure they have any. It’s probably more effective to visit splcenter.org and make a donation to their work combating the kind of hate Stedfast perpetuates. Amen.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/01/30/christian-hypocrisy-stedfast-baptist-church/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/182424531600

[hotspotsmagazine]

Christian Hypocrisy: Stedfast Baptist Church

Welcome to this episode of “Christian Hypocracy: Anti-Gay Christian Edition.” It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these so let’s start off 2019 old-school style and call out an anti-LGBTQ public figure who turns out to not be so morally upstanding after all.

Let me introduce you to Donnie Romero, former pastor of the Stedfast Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.

He’s the former pastor because he did some sins that “disqualified” him from pastorhood.

Romero’s pastor buddy Steven Anderson came to Stedfast Baptist Church so he could be there to help the church through Romero’s announcement.

In a video posted online Anderson explains why Romero had to step down, explaining that Romero’s address to the congregation didn’t include specifics because his wife and children were there and they didn’t want to “humiliate or disturb them.”

But for the sake of transparency, Anderson says, he wants to let people know what’s going on.

“Even pastors are human,” Anderson says. “I’m just going to mention what the sins were without going into detail. Basically the major sin involved was being with prostitutes, and then there were also marijuana and gambling that were also discovered.”

Well, first off they’re called “sex workers,” not prostitutes. Secondly, transparency is a good and rare thing in religious institutions, so yay them, I guess. Plus, Romero looked so damn sad in the video of him addressing his flock to tell them he’s bouncing. You could almost feel sorry for him.

Unless, of course, you know about the absolutely heinously hateful shit Romero has said about gay people. Then any pity you have for him really evaporates.

As the Star-Telegram reports, Southern Poverty Law Center designated Stedfast church a hate group in 2015. And that was before Romero went off about the Pulse nightclub victims in 2016.

“These 50 Sodomites were all perverts and pedophiles and they are the scum of the earth, and the earth is a little bit better place now, and I’ll even take it a little further,” he said according to the Star-Telegram. “I heard on the news today that there are still several dozen of these queers in ICU, and I will pray that God will finish the job that that man started.”

Now, I’ve been writing about anti-gay folks for over a decade now, and that is honestly one of the vilest quotes I have ever encountered. The lack of compassion is astounding. And notice that the guy with the gun, the guy who murdered scores of people and injured many more, is viewed as a tool of God’s will doing the Lord’s work with an assault rifle. Never mind that the shooter was Muslim, which in most circumstances would probably be a deal-breaker for Romero and his church. Hey, nobody’s perfect.

Anderson, too, is no stranger to hate.

“The good news is that at least 50 of these pedophiles are not going to be harming children anymore,” Anderson said after the Pulse shooting according to the Washington Post. “The bad news is that a lot of the homos in the bar are still alive, so they’re going to continue to molest children and recruit people into their filthy homosexual lifestyle.”

It bears repeating, again and again, that being LGBTQ does not make someone more likely to molest children. That’s a gross lie repeated by gross people. Nor do LGBTQ people recruit, unless you count lesbians who form the core of any good softball team.

Also according to the Post, “In one sermon recorded at his church, Anderson suggested the world could be AIDS-free by Christmas if only people ‘executed the homos like God recommends.’”

Has this guy met Mike Pence? Because I think they’d be great buds. They have a lot in common. In fact, should Trump get impeached I suspect Anderson could find a home in a Pence Administration simply by submitting a resume with his AIDS-Free By Christmas plan alone.

In case you were worried, no, Stedfast Baptist Church did not decide that being hateful was maybe a really crappy way to be Christian. Instead they doubled down, electing Jonathan Shelley to be their new pastor. He hates gays, too.

“They hate God. God has already given them up,” he says in an Oct. 2018 video according to the Star-Telegram “That’s the reason they’re doing these vile, disgusting things. They’re beasts, they’re wicked, they’re abominable, they’re filthy today.”

Feeling disgusted? Well, you could pray for their souls, but I’m not sure they have any. It’s probably more effective to visit splcenter.org and make a donation to their work combating the kind of hate Stedfast perpetuates. Amen.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/01/30/christian-hypocrisy-stedfast-baptist-church/

[cynthiajayusa]

Christian Hypocrisy: Stedfast Baptist Church

Welcome to this episode of “Christian Hypocracy: Anti-Gay Christian Edition.” It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these so let’s start off 2019 old-school style and call out an anti-LGBTQ public figure who turns out to not be so morally upstanding after all.

Let me introduce you to Donnie Romero, former pastor of the Stedfast Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.

He’s the former pastor because he did some sins that “disqualified” him from pastorhood.

Romero’s pastor buddy Steven Anderson came to Stedfast Baptist Church so he could be there to help the church through Romero’s announcement.

In a video posted online Anderson explains why Romero had to step down, explaining that Romero’s address to the congregation didn’t include specifics because his wife and children were there and they didn’t want to “humiliate or disturb them.”

But for the sake of transparency, Anderson says, he wants to let people know what’s going on.

“Even pastors are human,” Anderson says. “I’m just going to mention what the sins were without going into detail. Basically the major sin involved was being with prostitutes, and then there were also marijuana and gambling that were also discovered.”

Well, first off they’re called “sex workers,” not prostitutes. Secondly, transparency is a good and rare thing in religious institutions, so yay them, I guess. Plus, Romero looked so damn sad in the video of him addressing his flock to tell them he’s bouncing. You could almost feel sorry for him.

Unless, of course, you know about the absolutely heinously hateful shit Romero has said about gay people. Then any pity you have for him really evaporates.

As the Star-Telegram reports, Southern Poverty Law Center designated Stedfast church a hate group in 2015. And that was before Romero went off about the Pulse nightclub victims in 2016.

“These 50 Sodomites were all perverts and pedophiles and they are the scum of the earth, and the earth is a little bit better place now, and I’ll even take it a little further,” he said according to the Star-Telegram. “I heard on the news today that there are still several dozen of these queers in ICU, and I will pray that God will finish the job that that man started.”

Now, I’ve been writing about anti-gay folks for over a decade now, and that is honestly one of the vilest quotes I have ever encountered. The lack of compassion is astounding. And notice that the guy with the gun, the guy who murdered scores of people and injured many more, is viewed as a tool of God’s will doing the Lord’s work with an assault rifle. Never mind that the shooter was Muslim, which in most circumstances would probably be a deal-breaker for Romero and his church. Hey, nobody’s perfect.

Anderson, too, is no stranger to hate.

“The good news is that at least 50 of these pedophiles are not going to be harming children anymore,” Anderson said after the Pulse shooting according to the Washington Post. “The bad news is that a lot of the homos in the bar are still alive, so they’re going to continue to molest children and recruit people into their filthy homosexual lifestyle.”

It bears repeating, again and again, that being LGBTQ does not make someone more likely to molest children. That’s a gross lie repeated by gross people. Nor do LGBTQ people recruit, unless you count lesbians who form the core of any good softball team.

Also according to the Post, “In one sermon recorded at his church, Anderson suggested the world could be AIDS-free by Christmas if only people ‘executed the homos like God recommends.’”

Has this guy met Mike Pence? Because I think they’d be great buds. They have a lot in common. In fact, should Trump get impeached I suspect Anderson could find a home in a Pence Administration simply by submitting a resume with his AIDS-Free By Christmas plan alone.

In case you were worried, no, Stedfast Baptist Church did not decide that being hateful was maybe a really crappy way to be Christian. Instead they doubled down, electing Jonathan Shelley to be their new pastor. He hates gays, too.

“They hate God. God has already given them up,” he says in an Oct. 2018 video according to the Star-Telegram “That’s the reason they’re doing these vile, disgusting things. They’re beasts, they’re wicked, they’re abominable, they’re filthy today.”

Feeling disgusted? Well, you could pray for their souls, but I’m not sure they have any. It’s probably more effective to visit splcenter.org and make a donation to their work combating the kind of hate Stedfast perpetuates. Amen.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/01/30/christian-hypocrisy-stedfast-baptist-church/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/01/christian-hypocrisy-stedfast-baptist.html