#in 2023 I only read 1 book lol

[amarenacherriezzz]

A little update on my reading list:

August Blue - Deborah Levy

Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

The Irresistible Blueberry Bakeshop and Café - Mary Simses

The Guest - Emma Cline

Sistersong - Lucy Holland

The Bear and the Nightingale - Katherine Arden

Mrs. Dalloway - Virginia Woolf

Let me know if you want a more detailed review on these books!

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

The Follower of Flowers

sequel to The Name-Bearer

younger-YA queer fantasy adventure

follows the name-bearer on her quest to find the unnamed prince and fulfill the prophecy, by traveling to the enemy kingdom, having left the temple where she trained for years with the Danrayan warrior women

multi POVs, bi MC, Guatemalan and Peruvian inspired worldbuilding

[swordandstars]

Friends!

Are you feeling hopeless in the face of the oncoming MAGA-pocalypse? Want to do something fast, easy, and free that will make a difference?

If you're in Michigan, keep reading! If you're not, signal boost this to your Mitten State Mutuals!

Michiganders, it's time to contact your state reps and tell them to vote YES on HB 6034 and HB 6035. Together, these two bills comprise the Freedom to Read Act and they severely limit the ability of assholes to ban books in the state of Michigan.

Want to read the bills for yourself? Click here:

https://www.legislature.mi.gov/Search/ExecuteSearch?sessions=2023-2024&docTypes=House%20Bill,Senate%20Bill&contentFullText=%22freedom%20to%20read%22

Tl;dr? Here's an article and video summarizing the Act from CBS News:

Not sure how to contact your Michigan state representatives? Text RESIST to 50409 and Resistbot will walk you through it.

It's easy, it takes about 5 minutes, and you can do it from your couch/bed/puddle of despair.

Tips for contacting elected officials:

1) If you're asking them to vote YES or NO on something, say that in the first line. Bonus points if you can tag the actual bill (HB/House Bill) number.

2) Only include ONE issue per communication.

3) 1&2 are because these are being skimmed by interns who keep a running tally of what each communication is about. One communication = one point.

3a) Don't be a dick to the interns. Their lives are hard enough.

4) Keep it short. One sentence very clearly stating what you want. One or two sentences about why they should care about what you want ("As a resident of your district, I know you agree that SOMETHING SOMETHING FREEDOM, SOMETHING SOMETHING LIBERTY, SOMETHING SOMETHING THINK OF THE CHILDREN.") Appeal to the person they claim to be in their campaign ads. Get it, give them clear instructions, get out.

5) No profanity.

6) No threats.

7) No memes/ slang/ sarcasm/ lols. You are cosplaying as someone who thinks salt is too spicy and whose greatest joy in life is sorting their collection of plain white socks.

8) 5, 6, & 7 are because anything you communicate to an elected official will become a matter of public record. It goes into a file. And if anyone ever pulls that file, you want to be on record as the most boring, conscientious, polite, non-threatening motherfucker who ever lived.

Now go forth and make your voice heard!

(Hey @unpretty and @official-michigan-posts, can you help get the word out?)

[satowooo]

I said "I love you."

you say nothing back

Falling in love with Gojo Satoru was as easy as reading the pages of your favorite book, not until you reached the very end of the chapter and the author just loves to twist the story.

contents: it was all a bet trope, angst lol, fluff, hurt!gojo, groveling, satoru gojo x fem!reader, college AU, playboy!gojo, comfort

credits to @/toOOfu for the art above!! ^^

***

September 1, 2023

"She looks like an easy target," Satoru chuckled as he watched you walk over to your friend, Utahime Iori, in the school cafeteria. It was one of those days when he would joke with Suguru and Shoko, with Suguru always making sure Satoru gets riled up by his joke.

Suguru simply told Satoru that girls may swoon over him, but he's sure that they're some others who probably would find him annoying, someone like you. That statement made Satoru cocky, and as prideful as he was, he made it into a bet that he'll make sure to make you fall in love with him by the end of December, enough time to swoon you over.

"We'll see about that, Satoru." Suguru smirked. "The end of December, you say?"

The latter nodded his head, a wide and annoying grin on his face. "Watch and you'll see, Suguru."

The catch? Nothing, just plain fun and feeding his ego.

"Satoru!" Oh, and here comes one of his girls. His flings.

September 2, 2023

Satoru wastes no time. The next day after making their bet, he quickly made advances towards you. After seeing you in the lockers first thing in the morning, he walked over and leaned to the locker right next to yours. And when you turned, you found him there with a smirk on his face.

"Hey, darling..." He said, almost seductively, if not only for the furrowed eyebrows in your face.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Your soft voice echoed in his head.

Now that hurts his ego. Satoru Gojo. Gojo Satoru. The handsome Satoru. The greatest. The flirt. The smartest. The playboy. The Gojo Satoru. The damn Gojo Satoru who you didn't even know who.

His mind was floating elsewhere after hearing your question. As unbelievable as it may sound, you were, unfortunately, serious about not knowing him. And guessing by the look in your face, he definitely was not making a good first impression.

First attempt: Failed.

But he's not the Gojo Satoru for nothing. No, he won't give up just yet.

So he straightened his composure, faking a cough as he flashes his smile that makes all his girls go crazy, and lowers his head to show you his ocean blue eyes underneath his glasses.

He definitely made sure you won't forget his name as he asks forces you to walk you into class, blabbering nonsense by your side.

You were just too nice to tell him to go away.

September 16, 2023

Gojo Satoru was persistent. Walking you to class, even waiting for you outside the door when he was vacant, disturbing your quiet study session at the library, sitting with you at the cafeteria table when Shoko or Suguru was not there. You definitely didn't forget his name this time as he became the annoying Gojo Satoru who's becoming a nuisance to your somewhat quiet life turned into a roller coaster.

During those days, Gojo found out things about you. You were studying at the architecture department, you like arts and coffees as for what he noticed when you were at the library, you were at the top of your class, and you have a few admirers that you turned down in a nice way possible, just like how you were turning him down too.

He also took note of the fact that you were introverted, and a little shy with people so he might just go easy on you. You had a soft voice, however, you weren't as innocent as you came out to be. You are honest with your words, so when you say you're not interested in him, then you're truly not.

You weren't an easy target after all. But Gojo Satoru loved the thrill, you challenged him so much that he wasn't about to give up now that you intrigued him. He wanted to prove to himself that he can get anyone, he can have whatever he wants, and he definitely will.

"It's raining, it won't hurt to get in my car, princess." He said nearly in your ears. You pushed his face away with a look of disgust.

"No way, Gojo. You probably took so many girls in there already, and how can I be so sure you won't do anything bad?" You frowned at him, shoving his chest away as you stand outside the doors of your building, waiting for the rain to stop. You were angry, but damn you can't even raise your voice at him.

Soft. Too damn soft. Can he break you?

Through the days that he came by to woo you, it didn't matter anymore what words came out of your mouth. People may see you as the shy type of girl, but you're not afraid to voice out your opinion, and your somewhat intimidating face speaks a lot for you.

"Jealous?" He laughed when you glared at him. "Princess, I can assure you I haven't taken anyone inside my car. Plus, I can even buy a new one exclusively just for you if it bothers you too much." He grinned, annoyingly.

You gave him a moment of silence, and that sparked a new hope in Satoru's ego that you might be considering his offer now.

"Well... no."

Oh.

But he could only smirk, assuming you were only playing hard to get. Girls always liked when boys chase after them, no?

"I'll walk you home then."

You shot daggers at his back as he ran to his car, and came back with an umbrella. His shirt got a bit soaked, hair a little wet after running to the car, but damn, he still got that annoying smirk on his face.

You sighed, how annoying.

September 29, 2023

He never gave up despite how you rejected him multiple times. He stuck by your side even though you don't want him to, and he was somehow getting into your system. He carries your bag when he walks you to class, or just about anywhere, and you didn't even give your bag to him—he practically forced you. He'd buy you coffee in the morning, making sure he gets the right order, and when you give money to pay, he'd refuse and shove the money back in your wallet. Sometimes, he'd give you sweets even if you don't ask him to, giving you the flavors that he likes the most.

Funny how you can't even get him to stop whatever he's trying to do. No man has ever pursued you like he does.

"Gojo–"

"That's Satoru for you, love." He cut you off with a playful smile. "Haven't I told you already?"

"Gojo." You repeated seriously. His eyes glinted with interest as he waited for your words. "Get lost, please."

How nice of you to say please.

He laughs. He had the audacity to laugh. "You know, you're really cute."

"Look," you sighed tiredly. "Whatever this is you're trying to do, stop. I'm not interested. If you want to get into my pants like you did to those other girls, that's not going to happen."

With one look at him, you snatched your bag from him and walked away with your heart beating loudly. Your face was heating up after saying each word, and never in your life have you turned someone down so harshly.

Satoru watched as you walked away. Sure, that hurt his pride, but he can't let his ego step on so easily.

He left you alone during the day, just giving you the space since he seemed to have pushed your buttons a bit. Plus, he was busy with basketball practice since his coach was already nagging him for not attending their training.

However, your assumptions were only proved to be true when you caught him with a girl at the parking lot the same day. A cheerleader, stroking his chest as if she was comforting him as her other hands wiped his sweat with a towel. You looked at his physique, Satoru Gojo was in his basketball uniform, showing a lot of his biceps. You watched as his adam's apple protruding as he drank his water.

You felt annoyed. Your eyes turning red when you see just how he didn't mind the cheerleader. Of course, Gojo Satoru was a playboy.

Who cares? You definitely didn't.

That's what you thought.

You walked in the opposite direction, just so you wouldn't cross paths. But of course, Gojo Satoru will always see you. After all, he was at the parking lot waiting just for you, and only you.

"Wait up!" You heard his voice from behind, and you didn't even look back, thinking he wasn't calling out for you. You wished he was calling for you.

Satoru grabbed your wrist, and forced you to look at him. "Hey!"

Your brows furrowed, trying to yank your wrist away at his strong hold. "What do you want?"

"Woah... slow down." He said as he grasped your elbows with both hands. His eyes searched yours, his piercing blue eyes staring at the raging fire burning in your gaze. "What's wrong?"

You swear, your brows almost met each other at him. But you didn't want to burst. At least, not in front of him. "Go back to your cheerleader, Gojo." You frowned at him.

He observed you for a minute, then a small smile crept on his lips. Realizing just how much he's finally having an effect on you.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"What?!" You almost shout at him in annoyance.

"I said, I'm sorry, princess." He repeated. "I didn't think of you as the jealous type. Plus, she was just helping me."

"Help you what? Wipe off your sweat? Since you don't have the hands to do it for yourself?" You glared at his annoying handsome face. "You playboy. I knew you were just trying to play with me." You said, pushing his chest with your pointer finger.

He pursed his lips as he caught your wrist, stopping you. "Now, now, don't think like that." He chuckled. "I'm sorry, I'll be sure to push those girls away so you won't be mad at me anymore."

And damn, he was true to his words. He didn't know what got into him, but he definitely started rejecting every girl that came his way. He didn't even feel sorry, and he even stopped calling those poor girls with sweet endearments as he rejected them.

Gojo Satoru was slowly starting to feel something for you. But he doesn't even know it just yet.

In a span of a month, he successfully got into your system.

October 6, 2023

"How's the deal going?" Suguru asked as they walked together to their class.

"Poor girl, I heard from people that she's nice." Shoko added, shaking her head at them. "Though people may see her as intimidating, they said she's really kind. A soft voice, and all that. Shouldn't you stop, Satoru?"

"Nah, I think I'm enjoying this." Satoru shrugged.

Of course, Satoru definitely felt something tugging at his heart. He definitely liked having you around, since you were giving just the right thrill to rile him up, he loved every rejection, and every attention you gave him. But somehow, he was feeling a little guilty. But he's too prideful to even admit that.

"Plus, she's friends with Utahime. That girl hates you a lot, Satoru." Shoko said. "You wouldn't want to hurt her best friend."

October 13, 2023

"Didn't I tell you to call me Satoru?" He raised his eyebrows at you as he accompanied you in the library, placing a coffee and a small cookie right next to your books.

"We're not friends, Gojo."

"Right, since you're going to be my girlfriend."

You shot him a look, sighing as you turned the pages of your book. "What do you want this time?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to spend time with my favorite person." He smiled, opening his books too. "I'll study with you. I promise, I'll be quiet."

You didn't respond to that, just expecting him to keep his words. And when he did stay silent like he promised, you were already thanking god for having to hear your prayers.

As the hours went by, you slowly fell asleep, your head resting in your arms as your books laid discarded. Satoru looked at you, a small smile crept on his face as he gently stroked your hair.

He stood up, organizing your books in a pile, taking your pencil case as he shoved your pens in them and putting it inside your bag, he got the empty cup of coffee that he got for you and threw it in the trash can, and he did it all so as to not wake you. He waited for a few hours, tenderly watching you doze off, before he tapped your shoulders to wake you up so he could take you home.

October 18, 2023

Maybe Satoru felt guilty now.

He twists and turns in his bed, thinking of you and how you put up with him everyday. And everything you do, never escape in his eyes as he finds himself memorizing you.

You'd smile at him nicely, despite how your eyes show how annoyed you were.

Your feet would tap the floor when you get too nervous.

You don't even know but you unconsciously hold a piece of fabric in his shirt when it gets too crowded, hiding behind him when there's a lot of people.

He notices how your hands move gracefully as you trace your art project, eyes furrowed and focus on getting your work done.

Truthfully, he adores your smiles. The way your eyes would squint every time your lips stretch in delight. He held your hands once at his attempt of flirting, and it was so soft that he couldn't even get himself to let go. He loved playing with your soft, silky hair whenever you fell asleep in the library, staying by your side until you woke up. He also loved your silence, the comforting atmosphere that you give off seems to calm something in his heart. When he manages to get a proper conversation with you, he just wants to melt every time he hears your sooting voice.

And nervously, he thinks he's starting to like you.

October 23, 2023

Slowly, Satoru became a part of your day. Somehow, he managed to finally be friends with you, and still, you refused to call him Satoru, indicating that you still cannot allow yourself to be casual with him.

That's fine. He can settle for whatever you can give him. For now.

"Baby, there's a basketball game coming up this Friday..." Satoru trailed off. You were almost going to point out his endearment, but then again, it's Satoru, and you were slowly getting used to him.

"What?" You asked. "So?"

"I bought you tickets so you can watch. It's two tickets, so you can bring your friend."

He didn't even ask if you wanted to, but then again, for a hundredth time, it's Satoru. He wanted you to watch his game, nonetheless.

And you did. Your seat being close to their benches so he can see you easily.

October 27, 2023

"Seriously? I'm about to watch our school's basketball game, because Gojo Satoru invited you?" Utahime said annoyed as you both sat at your assigned seats.

"Well... yes..." You said shyly, looking around at the amount of people in the stadium. "You know, we've been hanging out a lot–"

"I told you, he's bad news." Utahime cut you off. "How am I supposed to get that in your head?"

"I know, I know... But he's actually been nice. Haven't you notice?"

Utahime thought for a moment. Of course, she noticed some changes. Gojo Satoru seemed to be spending his time with you lately. He didn't even care about his ex flings, or his admirers, he was solely focused on you. Usually, Gojo would take a girl wrapped around his fingers in a day, and then disposing them just as quick after he got what he wanted. He looks like he's not like that to you, Utahime thought. Though, she hated his guts, Utahime knew you were enjoying having him around.

She sighed, "Just... don't get hurt, okay?"

You chuckled at her. "Why would I?"

After the game ended, with your school cheering loudly at winning, Utahime said she had to go home quickly, so you were left alone.

You didn't know what to do, or where to go. Satoru was busy with his teammates, talking and congratulating each other. Satoru wanted to go to you quickly, but his fans surrounded him, stopping him from going your way as they celebrated their victory.

Satoru knew too well that you didn't like the crowd, so he was trying hard to escape from it.

Your eyes watched as his fans congratulated him, asking for pictures, and even giving him gifts. You sighed, texting him that you'll be going home since he wasn't about to finish anytime soon.

You understood that he was famous, and all that. He's Satoru Gojo, after all. And it's another part of him that you're still not used to.

A part of you was proud of him. And you couldn't possibly be selfish about him, especially if you only recently got to know him.

Satoru hurriedly ran away from the crowd, excusing himself politely as he saw you walking through the exit doors. He got his bag, and ran to catch up to you.

Thanks to his long legs, and his intense basketball training, he was able to catch up to you quickly. "Hey!" He called.

You turned as you heard his voice, seeing his disheveled hair and sweaty forehead as he ran to you. "Gojo, hey, I texted you and–"

"Hey..." He greeted, panting heavily.

You pursed your lips, getting a handkerchief from your pocket so you can wipe the sweat off his face. "Why did you leave them? Everyone was celebrating with you."

"You weren't there." He frowned. "What's the point of it..."

Satoru was tired after the game, but he was regaining his strength once he saw you.

"Nonsense." You chuckled, in which he frowned even more.

"I'll take you home." He said as he holds your hand to his, leading you to his car. "I invited you anyway, it's my responsibility to take care of you."

You nodded, getting in his car since you had been tired from all the crowd.

When he reached your home, he quickly got off so he could open the door for you.

Oh, the little things that he does.

You both stand outside of your house awkwardly, both trying to find the right words to say. You looked away, tapping your feet nervously as Satoru watches you.

"Congratulations... Satoru."

Satoru... Satoru... Satoru... His name never felt so good until you said it. It was like an achievement, a big prize that he won in his life. And his heart was almost about to explode when you finally called him by his name.

Satoru almost stuttered thanks to you. Slowly, he was approaching you until your back leaned in his car.

He closed his eyes, as his head fell on your shoulders. "Say that again... please?"

"Huh?" You were confused, your face blushing at the proximity. "Congratulations?"

"No... say my name... please, baby?"

His voice was so soft, desperately asking you to say the words he longed to hear from you. Satoru felt weak in his knees.

He looked up at you finally, his eyes searching your soul. Despite the darkness of the night, his eyes were glowing brighter than the moon.

"Satoru?"

"Fuck..."

Satoru Gojo knew he's in danger.

The moment he locked eyes with your eyes, looking at them until it darted on your lips. Before he knew it, he was leaning down for a kiss.

And fuck it, just how dangerous it was that you weren't even pulling away.

October 28, 2023

You were confused when you saw Satoru at your front door the next morning, his hands holding a bouquet of flowers. He looked absolutely handsome in his shirt, his sleeves tucked until his elbow.

You blush when you remember what happened last night. "Satoru, what are you doing here? It's a Saturday."

"I know," he said, handing you the bouquet of tulips. "I missed you."

"H-huh?"

"Will you allow me to take you out on a date?"

His heart was at bliss when you said yes to him. It was a simple coffee shop date, but you felt so happy as he made sure you were also comfortable and having fun. Having casual talks with you, but this time, there was a lying affection between you two.

And when he took you home, he slowly sealed your lips in a kiss. Exploring your mouth gently, smiling as he pulled away.

October 30, 2023

Satoru finally told Suguru he wants to stop whatever game they started with each other.

"Just about time you do."

Satoru swears he felt his ears heat up when Suguru said those words with a teasing grin. Shoko was laughing at his flushed state, clapping her hands in delight.

"Ah! I knew it!" She exclaimed. "Knew you were going to fall on your own trap. Well, that's actually good."

Satoru blushed even more. Finally, he can admit that he was starting to like you. Love you even.

In all honesty, he felt like he couldn't even live without you in his life. He felt like every moment with you was precious, and he was desperate to make you his, seriously this time.

All those times that he accompanied you to class, were influenced by his own choice. He could've just left you alone some days, but he didn't even know he was doing all those things unintentionally. Buying you snacks, and your coffee, he could've easily stopped that after every rejection, but he chose not to.

Gojo Satoru wanted to always be a part of your day. He was already a part of your present, and he wants to be there in your past, and still be in your future.

November 3, 2023

Satoru, as usual, was eating lunch with you in the cafeteria. Everyone in the school knew by now that he was not entertaining anyone anymore, just you. And he made it that obvious, looking at you so lovingly everyone who passed by would've looked at you in envy.

"Why aren't you with Shoko and Suguru?" You asked as you take a sip of your coffee. You looked over to the table where his friends sat, both busy at whatever conversation they had.

"They don't mind." Satoru replied, scooting closer in your seat. "You should get used to it by now."

"To what?"

"Sitting with you during lunch." He smiled when you looked away. "I like being with you."

Your mind wandered off somewhere when he said that. Does he like you or does he like the company that you give?

November 10, 2023

Satoru was frowning at you when he saw you sitting with another guy in the library. At your usual spot, in his seat, in front of you. He was annoyed that someone even had the guts to make a move to you.

Slowly, with heavy steps, he approached your table, sitting at the vacant chair next to you. His hands wrapped itself between your waist, as his jealousy pulled him to kiss your cheek in front of your innocent classmate.

"Baby..." He whispered closely in your ear. "I was looking for you."

He looked in front to shoot daggers at the guy you were with. The innocent stranger blushed as he looked away, "Uh... I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I'll message you if I need help."

The guy hurried on his feet, stumbling as he exited the library. Satoru's arms tighten on your waist and you looked at his angry face.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Who is he and why is he going to message you?" A frown was evident in his face, and he was getting a little too close. You had never seen him this intimidated.

"That's my partner for a group project, idiot." You muttered the last word. "You scared him off."

Satoru pulled you close, nuzzling his nose against your temple. "It's annoying..."

"What's annoying?"

Satoru cursed under his breath, "Come on, I'll take you out to dinner."

But while he was driving, it was painfully silent. You're not used to this kind of mood, he was always playful and teasing, but now, he was glaring ahead at the car in front of him, as if the car did something wrong.

His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and for some reason, you find yourself putting your hands above his, running circles on his tensed ones.

His hold loosened up a bit, and he sighed heavily.

"Tell me, what's wrong, Satoru."

Satoru pulled over to the side, facing you with a nervous face. "I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"I was... jealous." He answered truthfully. He frowned, not liking the feeling twisting in his stomach. "I've never felt this before, baby. I want to keep you to myself, to always have you by my side and not anyone else, and it's so selfish that I hate myself for it. You're driving me crazy, and fuck it, I love you. I love you for making me like this. You don't understand... I'm head over heels–"

You interrupted him with a kiss. Satoru didn't even realize that he was already confessing, not until he felt your mouth against his.

It felt like there were fireworks exploding in your surroundings. Feels like he was finally breathing for the first time ever. Like the summer melting his winter.

"I love you too, Satoru."

He felt like dying right then and there, cupping your cheeks in a hungry kiss. Pulling you to his lap as you both make out in his car.

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

How can he be so cute, muttering those words weakly underneath you?

His question was not even a 'will you be my girlfriend' but a 'can i be your boyfriend?'

It was so cute. He was asking you your permission, he was asking to be yours.

He was... surrendering his heart to you.

And who were you to deny him?

November 20, 2023

You found out Gojo Satoru is a clingy man. It was obvious, the first time that he never left you alone, but this time, it only got worse, in a good way though.

He holds your hand when you're together, not even caring when girls would look at the two of you jealously. He doesn't care if a teacher sees him snuggling his face against your neck, he just wants to be that close to you. He will ask for a cuddle every time you two spend your time in your house. He would dart his tongue out teasingly at Shoko and Suguru when all of you sat at the same table, and he was hugging your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder. And when you two are in a private space, especially his car, he'd pull you in his lap for a long make out session.

You weren't even complaining, since you loved him just as much.

"Utahime!" You smiled when you saw your best friend in the cafeteria. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Utahime gave out a tired sigh. "I know, the professor is always giving out so many tasks, I might pass out anytime soon." She chuckled. "How are you? You and Gojo? He's like a lovesick puppy always sticking by your tail."

You chuckled. "That's so exaggerated, Utahime... But I'm really really happy."

Utahime was glad to hear her only best friend was this happy. She was thanking god that Gojo finally decided to be serious over a girl for once, and if he ever just breaks your heart, she'd be so sure to be the first to kick his ass.

December 4, 2023

"You're still with her?" Gojo's ex flings, Jia, asked him during his basketball training. Jia was the cheerleader girl that you saw him with in the parking lot, the fling that Satoru had for a month, longer than usual. He already rejected her, but she's still desperately trying to get with him.

"Of course, I am." He muttered, annoyingly. He snatched the towel that she was holding, her attempt to help him wipe his sweat. "Jia, I already told you–"

"Isn't she just a bet?"

Satoru froze, as if a bucket of ice was dropped all over his body. Her voice rang in his head, and he blinked furiously a few times.

"She's not–"

"But I heard you and Geto." Jia smirked, knowing she was just pushing the right buttons. "Come on, you were at the cafeteria, were you not expecting someone to hear you? I was pitying her when I saw the poor girl slowly starting to–"

"Whatever you heard, Jia, is none of your business." Satoru said in a cold-hearted tone. "I love her. Get that in that little brain of yours." He scoffed, walking away.

Jia was furious, her eyes turning black in anger. Oh, she wanted to hurt you. She was the last fling of Satoru, and just because of you, he was acting like this. She didn't like the fact that you easily stole him from her.

December 13, 2023

The fall. The breaking point.

Suguru was having a party in his house, a public year-end party with a few of his college friends and blockmates, everyone was invited to have fun. Satoru took you with him, making sure to just stay by your side so you won't get lost at the sea of people.

"How are you two holding up?" Suguru approached you two, handing a cup to Satoru. "You two having fun?"

You nodded your head quietly. "Yeah... there's a lot of people. Are they all from our university?"

"Some are outsiders," Suguru chuckled. "Satoru, we're about to play by the pool. We'll wait for you there."

Satoru nodded, pulling you by the waist as Suguru left. "You okay, baby? Do you want to go home?"

You shake your head, "No, no, it's fine. We can stay a bit more."

"Mhmm, just tell me if you get tired, okay?"

You two walked together to the backyard, where the swimming pool was at. It was a bit crowded, but definitely fewer than inside Suguru's house. Shoko was there, a few of Suguru's friends, and Satoru's basketball teammates. They were all passing out their drinks, mixing whatever liquor was there.

Everyone said hi to Satoru, even to you. You watched silently as a few of his friends talked to him.

"Satoru, I'll go to Shoko first." You whispered above the noise. He turned his head at you, stopping his conversation with his friends.

"What? I'll go with you then–"

"No, it's fine, Shoko's just there." You said, pointing at Shoko who was lighting a cigarette right next to Suguru. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Satoru nodded reluctantly as he let you approach Shoko and Suguru, turning back to his friends, glancing at you once in a while.

But when he wasn't looking, Jia just had the perfect timing to enter the scene, stopping you midway.

"Oh, it's Satoru's little toy." Jia slurred her words. You looked at her confused as she looked at you judging. "He's still not breaking up with you? He wants to hurt you that bad, huh?" She chuckled.

You were trying to assess her words. You recognized her as the cheerleader Satoru was with last time, and her aura and words were making you nervous. What was she trying to say? What did she mean by that?

Satoru saw you, and his breath hitch when he saw who you are with. He looked over at Shoko and Suguru, who both stood up to approach you, but Jia was already taking advantage of you being alone.

"Poor girl," she frowned teasingly. "I'm pretty sure Satoru didn't want to go too far with the bet."

"Bet?" Your voice came out hoarse. You looked over at Jia's shoulder, where Shoko and Suguru stood frozen in their spot, their eyes widened in horror, and it gave you just enough explanation about what's happening.

"Oh, they were just betting about how Satoru can make you fall in love 'til December." She laughed wickedly. "I'm sorry, honey, you had to find out this way, but really, I was feeling sorry that I have to tell you–"

Her words were cut short when you felt a hand on your wrist. And you turned to see Satoru, his eyes red and shaking, "Baby..."

"Satoru? Was that true?" You looked into his eyes, hopeful. Your eyes welled up in tears, and his silence just made it worse. His hold on you was trembling, and he couldn't even say the right words out of his mouth.

You looked at Suguru and Shoko, your eyes pleading. "Shoko? Suguru?"

Another silence. It's like something was pulling the strings of your heart, threatening to cut your lifeline. And it hurt so much when they couldn't even say something.

You heaved a gasp, trying to stop a sob to escape your lips. But you failed miserably as Satoru tried to pull you in his embrace. "Let me explain–"

You pushed him away furiously, eyes angrily glaring at him. "Explain? Explain what?! That what she said was true?!"

Satoru's hands balled in a fist, and he felt his eyes burning as you pushed him away from his touch. His heart aches when you look at him full of hatred, and hurt. He felt his world slowly crumbling apart when you ran away in a hurry.

You quickly called Utahime, asking her to pick you up as soon as possible. While Satoru stood there helpless, his feet glued to the ground. He looked at Suguru, his eyes searching for help.

All of you were equally shocked, and nervous.

"Fucking go after her, Satoru!" Shoko shouted as she pulled Jia's hair. "Fucking bitch!"

The latter cried, but Satoru couldn't care less as Suguru pushed him to move. As fast as he could, he ran outside the door of Suguru's house, walking past every dancing body, he didn't even care if he crashed into someone, he just wanted to get to you.

And when he found you walking by the sidewalk, his heart started crying at your panicked state. He approached you, holding your wrist to stop you from walking any further.

"Satoru!"

"Let's talk, please–"

"Let go of me!"

"Let's talk, baby. Let's talk this out." He pleaded desperately, hands grasping your shoulders to stop you from moving.

Your body trembled against him, hands covering your face as you tried to stop your tears from falling continuously. "I hate you."

"I know you do–"

"Fucking jerk."

"I know, I know–"

"Don't touch me!" You burst, pushing him away harshly. His heart crashed into pieces, his breath coming out shallow and slow. Just like you, he was crying just as bad. "I knew! I knew from the very start you were up to no good! Utahime warned me, my friends warned me! But fuck you! I thought you actually cared! I thought you loved–"

"I love you, baby..." He said, weakly.

"You lying skim! I thought you changed!"

"Please, baby, let's talk about this when we're not angry? Please?" He tried to reach out for you, but his heart felt like it was losing its strength when you back away.

"I don't want to see you–"

"N-no, you don't mean that..." His voice came out as a whisper, a desperate plea for you to listen to him. "I'll take you home, we'll talk, okay? I'll explain and–"

"There's no use, Gojo."

Cruel. How cruel of you to say his last name so coldly. It was a sign that Satoru refused to look at. A sign that you were tired, that you want to let this go already.

His beautiful blue eyes seemed to lose its life, the same way that he was losing you. One moment, you were there by his side, and now... you looked at him as if you wanted to get him out of your life.

And it hurt so bad. It hurt so bad when he tried to touch you, but you still furiously backed away.

"I love you." His voice cracked, looking at you weakly. His hands shake by his side, fighting the urge to reach out for you.

You breathed heavily, shaking your head at him as you said nothing back. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to let him hear your sobs. You're starting to pity yourself, of how stupid you had become. You should've listened to Utahime the first time.

December 14, 2023

Satoru had never felt this lifeless before. Even Shoko and Suguru couldn't help him as he refused to talk to any of them.

His eyes were searching for you everywhere in the cafeteria, but to his dismay, you never showed up the whole day, not even in your classes. He wanted to ask Utahime when he saw her walking down the hallways, but the girl only glared at him as she walked passed. And Gojo was just as helpless as ever.

He messaged and called you a few times, but you didn't answer. He wanted to go to your house, but he can't even find the courage to do it.

December 15, 2023

Satoru finally saw you after a day of absence. You looked tired, and he was mentally cursing at himself for making you like this. He was starting to hate himself, and he's not going to forgive himself anytime soon.

Satoru tried to approach you, but you didn't even dare look him in the eye. He bit his lower lip, trying his hardest to stabilize his breathing. Just like he usually does, he walks you to class, only a few steps behind this time.

Fine, he'll settle for this. He'll give you the space you needed first before anything else.

At the cafeteria, he didn't see you once again. That worried him as he left Shoko and Suguru to look for you. The first place he thought of was the library, and he was glad to see you there.

You glanced up from your book, feeling someone staring at you. And you were right as your eyes met with Satoru, and your heart ached as your brows furrowed at him.

You looked away, trying not to be affected.

All throughout the day, Satoru thought of you and your last interaction. Every time the memory flashed in his mind, he wanted to punch himself. Hurt himself twice as much.

He fucked up so bad, and he wanted to make it up to you.

So he finally had the courage to wait outside your classroom's door after his class, waiting for the professor to dismiss everyone. He didn't waste anymore time as he got by your side quickly when you walked out the door.

Your name rolled out his tongue slowly, and you stopped dead on your track.

"I'll t-take you home..." He stuttered, his eyes searching yours for any emotion. But your eyes were dead, not even a single anger, or love for him in there.

"I'm fine, Gojo. You can go away–"

"I'm not going away."

You turned to him furiously. It was like you two are back to square one, to the first time you two met, and no one should ever forget that Gojo Satoru was persistent. But this time, two hearts were breaking and in a need to mend.

"P-please, let's talk–"

You didn't respond as you walked away fast, but damn his legs for always being able to keep up with you. Despite how Satoru took the hint that you don't want to talk to him, he still didn't care. It didn't matter to Satoru if he couldn't take you home with his car, he'll walk with you instead, like how he used to.

He'll be quiet. He just wants to be with you.

December 16, 2023

You hated Saturday classes. And you hate it even more that Satoru Gojo was tailing you behind. Trying his best to get you to talk to him.

"Baby–"

"Don't call me that."

He coughed awkwardly, blinking his tears away. "You didn't eat lunch today again, let me take you–"

"Cut the crap, Gojo."

He gulped when you looked at him, with hatred in your eyes.

Maybe, just maybe he can settle for this. Look at him. Just look at him. At least look at him, even if you don't want to love him anymore. It's fine. He understands. Just look at him.

"Stop with the act already. I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of you."

"I'm sorry..." He muttered against his breath. "But I can't. Not until you listen to me." Not until you take him back.

"There's nothing for you to explain anymore, Gojo. I've had enough, and I get it. I understand as bright as day that it was just a game–"

"It's fucking not." He gritted his teeth. As much as he didn't want to be harsh, he was so desperate in wanting you to lend your ears to him. "It wasn't a game for me. And I did love you. I fucking love you still. Yes, it was a bet at first, but I told Suguru that I wanted to stop. He knows just how much I love you. Shoko knows. Fucking everyone knows at this point. Why can't you just listen to me?"

He catches his breath as he finishes voicing out his words. But no, you were a little hard in the head. You wouldn't believe him that fast. You didn't want to hurt your heart again.

"I don't love you."

You didn't know what gave you the urge to say that. It wasn't really true, but the wrong words seem to be the only right words to cut it out.

If Satoru's heart is already breaking, he was sure it is now turning into ashes. You're a liar, he tried to convince himself. You love him, and he's not about to give up just yet.

December 18, 2023

You can hurt Satoru how much you want, but that will never stop him from loving and chasing after you.

Another frustrated sigh came out from you when he left a cookie on your table to your first class, with a note saying, 'I love you. Don't forget to eat.' with his name underneath and a heart. You didn't even know how he managed to put these on your table so early in the morning, and your heart just wants to surrender.

But no, you're not.

So, even if it comes out too heartless, you offered the cookie to the person next to you as you crumpled the note, throwing it away inside your bag so no one would see it.

During lunch, Satoru saw you at your usual table, and tried to sit with you. But you got up in a hurry, pulling Utahime who just got back from the bathroom with you.

Being angry at him is one thing, but avoiding him? No, he can't take that. He'd rather have you stay mad at him, scream and hurt him verbally, even slap him if you want, but giving him the cold shoulder was you telling him that he doesn't exist in your world anymore. Satoru's heart is barely living at this point.

Satoru cursed to himself, standing up and going back to Shoko and Suguru who looked at him with a sad smile.

"Give it time, Satoru."

But time doesn't seem to be on his side.

And fate doesn't get along with you on your most desperate days as you watched the rain poured down once again. It was like deja vu. Standing outside the building, waiting for the rain to stop so you can go home.

But the rain was falling a little too harsh, and you know it's not about to stop anytime soon. It was like the rain also had a turmoil within itself, crying heavily just the same way your heart did.

You hate yourself for always forgetting an umbrella as you take a step, lifting your bag to your head, as you let the rain soak your clothes. It's the last day of school today anyway, you're finally taking your Christmas vacation tomorrow, and it wouldn't hurt to get sick for a few days.

Unbeknownst to you, Satoru comes to the rescue at the right time.

He held an umbrella as he ran after you, being careful as he strides so he won't trip on his feet.

He called your name, stopping shortly when he finally got you under the umbrella and pulling you close by the waist.

"I'll take you home." He shouted above the rain.

Your body trembled in the cold, and Satoru was embracing you like he used to. He didn't even mind if you got his clothes wet. But you still have the guts to push him away. "No! I can go home by myself!"

"Stop being stubborn!" Despite holding you with one hand, his other hand holding the umbrella, he still managed to keep you on your feet, his hand squeezing your waist tightly.

"Gojo–"

"Stop it!"

"Let go of me!"

"You're going to get sick!"

"I don't fucking care!"

"No, I'll take you home–"

"Gojo Satoru!"

Satoru gave up as you writhed from his embrace. He dropped his umbrella, using both his hands to grab your waist, and kissing you in the rain.

His tongue was invading, seeking every corner of your mouth desperately. Fuck, he missed this. He missed you so much. And he didn't even care if the rain was slowly ruining his hair and clothes, as long as he had you right here in his arms.

It was a dangerous dance underneath the cold waters beneath the rain. Two lovers, hopelessly trying to heal their broken hearts. Their lips tangled together like it was their last chance to be like this again.

"Satoru..."

"I'll take you home..."

How did you let yourself become weak for him?

You handed him a towel as both of you entered your home. Despite how upset you are with him, you couldn't possibly just leave him wet by the rain and catch a cold. You were just being nice, you said to yourself. It's not because of your affection towards him, you're just being a helpful woman who still has a heart so you invited him into your house. Thats it, that's all there is, perhaps.

Before you can leave him, Satoru holds your hand, electrifying the two of you to stop you from your tracks. You tried to look at him in the eye, but it was impossible. Satoru doesn't even try to hide how much he's hurting in front of you, and that just doubles the pain that you're feeling right now.

"Let's talk..." He said weakly. "Please? I'm not leaving if we don't talk."

"Satoru, please, just let it go..."

"No," he shakes his head stubbornly. "You mean so much to me."

Your breath hitched as he pulled you close, cupping your cheeks with both hands as he leaned his forehead against yours.

"It's true, we did make a bet..." He closed his eyes, the words falling in his mouth felt like daggers shot straight to his heart. "And I hate myself for it. For being a prideful jerk who wanted to prove he can have whoever he wants, and hurting you in the process..."

Satoru breathed heavily, his hands rubbing circles on your cheek. "Before I knew it, I was down badly on my knees. I wanted you. I love you. I wanted to spend each and every waking moment with you. And I told Suguru, and Shoko, that I wanted to stop whatever game we agreed upon, so I can start loving you truthfully..."

"Satoru..."

"And I felt so alive, baby. When you told me you love me too, when you let me be your boyfriend, when you finally accepted my love for you. Fuck, I can die a happy man. I just... love you. I love being loved by you. I love it when you let me love you. I love it when you do nothing and it just drives me wild. I love it every time I see your eyes looking at me. I love hearing your voice, seeing you smile, and love it even more when you let me hold your hand! I love every single piece of your soul, and I want you. I want to always be with you. My heart aches for you, baby... please..."

He was crying. Oh, god, he was crying as he confessed everything to you. And you swear your heart wants to come out from your chest.

Your heart was swelling, he was mending your bruises, healing your scars in every word he uttered. Your tears were falling nonstop, and your hands quiver to place it above his.

"Satoru..." You sobbed, looking at his helpless blue eyes who'd been crying buckets as well. "I hate the fact that I love you so much."

Satoru heaved a gasp as he pulled you to his embrace, sealing you in a wet kiss. Somehow, it didn't even feel cold anymore now that you have your arms around him again.

His face settled on your neck, and he was catching his breath. He ran his hands in your hair, holding you tight as if he was afraid to let you go.

"Don't leave me again..."

"I won't. I promise." You let out a low chuckle. This time, you cupped his cheek so he could look at you. "I love you so much, Satoru. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I deserved it." He smiled. Finally, he was smiling at you. "And I love you more."

Satoru made sure he's not letting you escape this time. Everyday, he's going to make it up to you. He's going to tell you how much he loves you, and he's going to make sure you'll never even forget it until you fall asleep. He's going to love you like it's breathing, and he promised to himself he's going to love you until the next lifetime.

***

i know i said I'll do the part 2 of my Suguru fic, but im so sorry this was in my head for ages 😭 i promised ill start part 2 in a while... anyways, thanks for reading! its not proofread so im sorry for any typographical errors and spelling ^^

[hummingbird-games]

2024 in Review (Indie Games)

2023 | 2022 | 2021

Helloooo gamer friends!!!

I'm so tired.

Lol.

Anyhoo, y'all don't care about that!!! Y'all are here to see what games I played and what the heck I have to say about them! Reminders: I don't bash games I didn't like, and I try to post more in-depth thoughts and reviews and general yapping to Gem's Game Gems.

DEMOS

When Stars Collide - I am by no means a sci-fi girlie. I need a HEAPING dose of fantasy or fantasy elements to help me out. That said, y'all might remember how I went feral for Gilded Shadows, so I am locked in for this journey with WSC. It's just as mysterious and lore intense as GS, but also just as intriguing and engaging!

Love Me, Love Me Not - I looooove when a game charms me to pieces??? Our MC Addie, the introduced LIs, the story, the art??? Where do I begin?? Anyway, please check this one out y'all! I'm impatient for the full game (shocker, I know).

Threads of You: Beyond the Bay - So my thoughts and reactions for this one are on the side blog, but I really enjoyed the demo and I have eyes for Chris, Vince, and Alex hehehe.

Lost in Limbo - While I'd been keeping tabs on this game for what seems forever because of the character art that originally caught my attention, I almost didn't finish the demo because it was lowkey disturbing (I'm a wimp and not all horror is made equal). But!!! BUT!!!! I push through to the end, had a good time, noted that I need to play the full game in the daylight with the music turned down low. And I absolutely adore Ara and Xal so, so much.

A Simple Twist of Fae - Absolutely no one cares, but I read a lot of manga this year. Like, a lot-a lot. Like, ~180 books and 1/3 of that was manga. Anyhoo, When JMB announced she was cooking up this game, I was impatient to get my grubby hands on it. AND THEN I PLAYED IT AND IT WAS THE SHOJO INSPIRED GAME OF MY DREAMS?!?! Like.....I wish I could both have it on my computer and also on my bookshelf. Final build dropping when??? (Also the UI design is utterly delightful, I cry.)

The Summit Library (FULL DEMO) - The last time I reviewed this game, we got chapter 1 as a taste, and I was. Locked! In!! The full demo gives us the first 2 chapters as well as the previews for all the romance routes and while giving everyone a whirl I'm *still* undecided on who to go for in the future, I must mention this: TSL is so aspec friendly???? I do love a game with smut, don't get me wrong looks at College Craze but sometimes I have my moments of being overwhelmed/sliiiiiiightly repulsed and the variety of options you have to choose how you react and interact with the various LIs in this game is amazing. (I have more thoughts on this, so I'll try to remember to post to the sideblog, but please understand that this game is totally worth your attention and time imo!!!)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

Rabbit Trail - This. Game. Is. SO. Cute. *punches the air* 😭🥹(Copy + paste of my review on the itch.io page -> This was so charming, so fluffy, so cozy, just delightful all around??? I've only reached one ending so far, but René is just the cutest protag to play as, and his interactions as he delivers his mail made me cheese so dang hard! (Also, I wanted to fight his parents for not properly appreciating their kid LOL))

Stuck by Design - I checked this game out because I was looking into games that fellow programmers had worked on, and this cozy game stumbled onto my lap. The music was perfect, the UI is beautiful and clean, and I thoroughly enjoyed the performance of the VA for the LI, Yuki.

Wake Me Up If You Need Me - I called this game older!HSDJY MC x Ryan coded and I'm still right. The voice actor MAKES this game, and the interactions the player has with Reed is so flippin' delightful?? All my love and adoration to the game developer. May they make more beautiful games.

CTRL FREAK - The developer team brought us The Faithfulness of the Universe which is a banger in its own right, and CTRL FREAK is the team's commercial, finished project that I also found delightful. The soundtrack and the animations are chef's kiss 💛

Breathless Winds - Ooo, baby, ooo. So. If there is only one game you play from this list and you have some spare cash to spend (at the time of writing, the game is on sale!!!) please, please, check this one out. It left me absolutely spellbound, both the orginal demo, and then the full game. While I didn't get to blog fully about this one, and I only tackled 2 of the 4 routes, this game is absolutely everything. This is my indie game of the year. Poppy and her journey resonated with me, and between the music and the art, everything just came together so perfectly.

Wake Up Magical Girl - Listen TF up, if miseri creates it, I'm gonna play it, idc, idc. That being said...this game had a kick to it that when I finished my first playthrough, I had to stare off into space and gather myself. It takes the concept of magical girls and heroism and gave me a teeny tiny existential crisis, but other than that, I'm fine, it's fine, play this game, thank you.

Sleeping Under Spells - God, I love me a game where I get to argue with a LI. I love it. Bonus points if it's lowkey stupid stuff we're bickering over LOL!!

Our Wonderland - Yeah, uh huh, you thought you'd escape me talking about this game this year, didn't yah???? Too bad. The fifth and final arc dropped this year and I played it and I cried and felt for the briefest moments that life was okay. To say something different than my review of last year, I love that this seems to be the game that helps fellow ace devs find and flock to each other, I'm not kidding 🤣 so thank you Carrot for helping us fellow aspec peeps feel seen and validated and understood!

I Watched a Full Game Playthrough and Highly Recommend

Replay Boys - Okay so technically at the time of posting, there's still one more video I'm waiting to watch (Naja of BlerdyOtome uploaded her stream to YouTube) but my Godddddd. I've had my eye on this game for FOREVER but I was lowkey waiting for it to move to itch.io (I'm still a lowkey Steam hater 🥹) anyhoo, watching this absolutely wild game made me go ahead and buy a copy for myself to replay at a later time, but it's just great. The summary only scratches this surface of what the game entails 🤣

Gemi’s Gushies

(a list within a list of games that have devs trucking along in the background and I want to spotlight for y’all)

Save the Villainess - Life got away with me and unfortunately I never finished my play of the demo BUT what I have played was fun and I hope to return to this in the new year!

Woman of Xal 2 - Plot Twist Studios is on that Sequel Train with the next installment of WoX!!! Which I'm VERY excited for!!! I've unfortunately only completed one playthrough of this game, but the first game is definitely a masterclass in replayability, and I hope next year I'll be able to do a second playthough as I wait for game 2's Kickstarter!

...

And that's 2024! Any shared favorites?

- Gemini 🫶🏾

[061306]

␥ list of things i’ve successfully manifested !

i discovered manifestation and the law around early 2022 and here's what i have manifested since then! this might not be much but this is to remind me that i am capable of anything and everything!

𖥻 1. clearer skin

i used to have a terrible breakout on the right side of my face + oily skin. now my skin is much better and less oily! i do not have acne anymore.

𖥻 2. weight loss ( 14 kgs )

i went from 69 kgs to 55 kgs in around two months with minimal exercise ( walking ) & a simple diet.

𖥻 3. height increase ( 11cm )

i used to be 150cm but not anymore lol. i got better proportions too!

𖥻 4. text messages & instant replies from people.

i also manifested message from a friend i was no longer in contact with.

𖥻 5. passing exams i thought i was going to fail

accountancy was my weakest subject but i manifested passing several tests and exams. i also manifested getting better in it!

𖥻 6. getting above average % board exams

board examinations are a big deal in my country and i, unfortunately, ended in a stream i was not interested in. i manifested getting ~80% in them despite getting way lesser in school examinations.

𖥻 7. food

one single thought turned into an assumption and i am having whatever i want for dinner!

𖥻 8. storage of my phone increasing

i only have 32gb of storage in my phone lol. so sometimes i have to clear app caches to make space, but not anymore.

𖥻 9. love confession

i simply wanted a love confession and i got it. as easy as it gets.

𖥻 10. an increament in my mom’s salary & money for myself

my mom really wanted an increament and i manifested it! she got increament of 5.5k! also manifested a bonus for her. + got gift money from my parents and relatives!

𖥻 11. letting go of & detaching from several people

i used to be attached some people that hurt me but not anymore. i have let go of them and it feels so much better.

𖥻 12. books & manga ( jjk )

my mom is not the type to let me spend money on buying books ( for leisure reading ), much less a comic book. but i manifested her allowing me to buy 4 books + 1 manga volume! she even paid for them.

𖥻 13. delaying the start of my college, teachers & professors taking leaves, not getting scolded for submitting assignments late

my college was supposed to start from early june but i manifested a delay and it started from mid-july. i have manifested both school teachers and college professors taking leaves on my desired days.

𖥻 14. nice aura + compliments

i have a magnetic aura, people feel comfort around me and i get so many compliments about literally everything i do!

𖥻 15. quick deliveries of my orders

🤭🤭🤭

𖥻 16. winning an elocution competition

i was really worried because i only found about it a day before and some other contestants had been trained by their professors. i was full of nerves but still won the first rank! the judges said my content was unique and everything i did was perfect.

𖥻 17. kitten type beauty

manifested myself big upturned eyes with pretty lashes & a v-shaped face with smooth skin!

𖥻 18. cats loving me

call me a cat whisperer the way cats love me! i can easily befriend any cat!!! ˃ᴗ˂

𖥻 19. desired skincare products for cheap

i really wanted vitamin c serum and face cleanser and sometime later i saw an ad with an offer to get both for 1 rupee! crazy right?

𖥻 20. entering the void on several occasions.

i have entered the void several times albeit unaware. recently i've started becoming aware before snapping out of it!

masterlist. | notes – i've also manifested getting a merch of my bias. i got it from my best friend as gift but i didn't add it on the list because i didn't want break the perfect 20. also this list is as on 04 DEC 2023.

[climbthemountain2020]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

437,868! 

My goal was 100k hahaha I got a little carried away.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

14 fully completed and posted!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Woof. Lol, one actively in progress fic of just my own, one surprise sequel for January that's done but not posted, one timeloop that’s still going strong, and countless WIPs because I have no self control. Plus three books in various states of completion.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

I think Hope of Spring is closest to my heart because it was my very first. I kind of picked up writing in January for the first time since high school, and having it be somewhere where people could actually see it for the first time and, more than that, liked it, was so insane to me. Sentimentally, that would be my favorite. 

But I think I had the most fun with Flame of Autumn and Your Eyes Whisper Have We Met!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Azris! I have never ever written mlm before, and I took it on as an alt in the gift exchange (If Only In My Dreams). I’ve read SO much Azris, but it was my first time writing it and I had such a blast.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Absolutely Your Eyes Whisper Have We Met. I was so intimidated to start my little feysand one shot because the big feysand writers were who tempted me into the fandom so hard in late 2023. I felt like there was no way I could do it justice, then the “one shot” became 150k lol

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

For sure my Helion x Lady of Autumn fic Love You Like Oxygen. I LOVED writing that fic, I just think it’s in a real niche area, but I’m always so pleased when people find it and like it!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

This list is endless

@velidewrites @jadedbugart @witchlingsandwyverns @laxibbeb and absolutely a million more. I have such awe for the artists in this fandom--everyone blows me away!

And in terms of moodboards and other creative joys, @octobers-veryown has a talent for it that I cannot comprehend. Truly--every thing is a masterpiece. Did you see her gift exchange bookmarks??

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

I could not possibly name every one haha.

Before actively joining the fandom, I was busy fangirling over @popjunkie42 @the-lonelybarricade @rosanna-writer @separatist-apologist @thesistersarcheron and many others.

Once I joined, that group became infinitely larger! I will read anything by @witch-and-her-witcher @wilde-knight @missfckingfortune @beesays @cauldronblssd @iftheshoef1tz @chunkypossum @secret-third-thing @acourtofladydeath @tunaababee @belabellissima @shardminds @damedechance @foundress0fnothing

and a trillion others. I will say until my dying breath that I think this fandom has some of the most absolutely insanely talented writers in the world.

Special shoutout to @ablogofsapphicpanic for her brave take on my favorite piece of fiction this year.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

Okay literally everyone though since I was brand new. I am SO inspired by the talent I see on the daily in the fandom. It’s insane to me what so many of you can do.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

Timeloop with the @feysand-hivemindhivemind has been a real joy! We’ve had so much fun running with our crazy ideas this year (shout out to @gaeleria) 

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Everything haha. I was just a new tumblr baby in January. I’ve been reading on Ao3 since middle school, but this was the first year I made my own account to write (I was bookmarking in a spreadsheet in Excel SOS)

My only goal for this year was to write a fic, aim for 100k, and publish it online. 

Art wasn’t even on the table in January, and neither were all the incredible friendships I’ve made here. Frankly, that has been the most important part of all this!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

That while it IS a wonderful way to improve your craft or should also always be a way to have FUN. I've improved so much this year, but more importantly, I have had such a blast and made so many lifelong friends. That's been the real joy from writing this year.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

A few things!! First, just jump in!

So much of the fun, experience, and worshipping of writing is just in getting the thoughts on paper. I'm a big outlined, but they're SLOPPY in that first draft. I get an idea and I just brain dump the absolute fuck out of it in a Google doc. There's not a chronological order, not any real storyline yet, just all the things as they come to me so I don't forget them. Having that word vomit step is really vital for me to get everything down. 

Of course I go back later and fix it all up, but oftentimes just getting it on paper is what I need to get going, even if it's ugly on that first draft. 

The same applies to when I get stuck in my writing. Sometimes I get in a space where it feels like nothing is working. Because I hate myself, I'm not one to step away for a bit. Instead I just wrote nonsense until things start taking shape– I don't worry about grammar or anything like that until later. Something about returning to that info dump helps me break out of the funk!

Last but not least, don't worry about the interpretations of others. There are ALWAYS going to be people who don't see the characters the way you do. That's the beauty and joy of reading! But that shouldn't stop you from writing what inspires you! You like a soft Eris? A mean Eris? Do it! You think Azriel is secretly a softie or a huge dick? You want to write the Tamlin healing arc you wish to see in the world? YOU SHOULD. Write what you feel and who cares if there are people who don't like it? 

So clearly my best advice is just to write it, lol. As with all my fics, I could have been more concise and chose not to be 🤣

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I really want to focus on not doing a million long projects at once 😅 it won't happen, but it'll be a nice dream. 

Overall, I think I just hit the scene very over excited this year and I burned myself out a bit at the end trying to do everything. I think I gotta set myself some boundaries for how much I'm wanting to do versus how much is a healthy and reasonable amount 😅

I'd also love to experiment with some new pairings and styles too!

[boul3vvard]

Bring your child to work day･*.:+

Sanemi AU x GN! Reader DRABBLE!

S/n = sons name

I started writing this story back in nov 2022 I abandoned it and came back to it March 2023 erased the ending and rushed it so sorry if this isn’t up to par I’m just trying to get this out of my drafts lol. Now a few pointers

★ Sanemi is OOC I just think that it would be really cute to picture him in this sorta dynamic.

★I tried to keep it gender neutral as possible this is also my first time writing a gn story so feel free to give me any possible feedback

★also as I always say this isn’t proof read AT ALL!! so there might be a ton of grammatical errors idrc HAPPY READING

There are only 3 characters who are color coded

Y/n sanemi and s/n

“Are you sure you’ll be fine taking him with you I mean he’s only 4, He won’t be too much of a distraction for you?”

y/n said while doing their sons hair making his curls pop out a little more.

“He’ll be fine we’re not doing too much in class today anyways” sanemi sighed as he was getting dressed for work. “You’ll be good for daddy right?” y/n asked s/n while looking at him in the mirror. “MMHM” s/n said happily. Y/n was a little nervous at first about this whole ordeal when sanemi brought it up but all the doubt disappeared when y/n saw how giddy their son was to spend time with sanemi this was also the first time their son is going to be around a bunch of people at once, let alone a bunch of teenagers. how will he react? “he’ll be fine plus I’m there if anything does happen, which nothing will so stop worrying, You act like we’re going to war or something” sanemi chuckled as he patted his partners shoulders. “I know I know I guess I’m just a little worried” they sighed “for nothing, we’re gonna head out inna bit I have to get to work early. where is the little guy so I can put his shoes on?” “IM RIGHT HERE DADDY” his son squealed excitedly “LOOK”. sanemi sighed, a soft smile appearing on his face. “your shoes are on the wrong feet you dork c’mere” Y/n packed everything sanemi needed for Haruto in his book bag so he wouldn’t get bored. “are you all set and ready to go?” sanemi said while picking his son up into his arms. “Have fun you two” y/n waved at the two before they left.

Sanemi got to class 1 hour early so he could prepare his classroom for the day. students started rolling in and filling in their seats, two of his students ran into his classroom one slapping the other repeatedly. “INOSUKE STOP HITTING TANJIRO FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF” Inosuke gruffed as he plopped into his desk. “hey sir, who is that child sitting in your chair? if you don’t mind me asking” Tanjiro asked pointing to the child as his classmates started to quiet down since they all wanted an explanation. “He’s my son. I decided to bring him in with me today he won’t be too much of a distraction” sanemi said as he started gathering all of the papers on his desk into a neat pile. The class all became strangely quiet so he looked up to see what was wrong “yes?” He said as he quirked his eyebrow. “YOU HAVE A CHILD??” they all yelled in Unison. “FORGET ABOUT THE CHILD YOU’RE MARRIED??” Zenitsu yelled freaking out. “Is that a problem?” sanemi started to get angry. “I just feel bad for the sorry sack who decided to tie the knot with you” Inosuke said bluntly. Sanemi threw an eraser at the boys forehead. “Before we get started on today’s plan how about I let him introduce himself to you all” just before the boy was about to speak everyone zoomed in on him making him feel so small, he hid behind his daddies leg. “it’s okay remember how we practiced in the car do it exactly like that okay don’t be shy” sanemi said as he pushed him up front, everyone weirded out about how soft he got for a sec-. “h-hello my name is s/n and I’m 4 years old” he showed everyone on his fingers. All of the girls in the classroom started cooing at the young boy. “AWWW HES SO CUTE” they shouted. “thank you” s/n said blushing at his shoes, he ran back to his dad and hugged him. “You did good, now go sit down for a little bit alright daddy has to do his job okay” “okay” s/n said shyly as he ran back to sanemi’s seat.

The rest of the day went smoothly as s/n opened up throughout the day and became more talkative. During passing periods Haruto would run to the other teachers classrooms to greet them. He ran up to the first classroom and walked in. “Uhhhh mr Iguro Theres a Child standing in the door way” one of his students said confused. Iguro was about to tell the child off before he raised his eyebrows in confusion. “s/n?? What are you doing here?” “I’m with daddy today he let me come to work with him today” he basically shouted happily “I see, well im in the middle of teaching right now how about you come back later okay? “Okay see you later” on his way back to his fathers class he stopped by Uzui’s class, they were all circled around a bowl of fruit quietly drawing it on their own. “I LOVE DRAWING CAN I DRAW TOO?!” The entire class was startled by the broken silence. “s/n??, What are you doing here kid? And what a flashy way of entering a room” Tengen said smiling at the kid ear to ear “I’m here with daddy” “of course you are but where is he? “In his classroom” “well I’m kinda in the middle of a class kiddo so how about you run back to your father and I’ll catch up with you later, how does that sound” “OKAY BYE BYE” just as he was about to run off again sanemi scooped him up “there ya are punk, you can’t go running off like that especially not at my job,what if principle Ubuyashiki caught you before I did huh?” “Sorry daddy I went to go see uncle Oguro” “let’s go eat lunch y/n packed you something delicious” sanemi said “YAYYYY”.

overall he enjoyed being at work with his father and seeing what he did daily. Some of the kids would chat with him which he loved of course and even colored with him. The class fell in love with him very much only knowing him for such a short while. I liked today Do you think I can come to work with you tomorrow daddy?” “Of course you can.” Now let’s go home I’m sure y/n can’t wait to hear all about your day today”

©Boul3vvard. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. SO ANY FORM OF PLAGIARISM OF MY CONTENT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

[kgravelle1033]

Back with another HSTV blog.

I went too hard on Season 2, I fear, so here is part 1 of 2:

Episode 1

Tori’s fringe is not canon compliant, send that shit back to the early 2000s.

The opening song is soooo perfect and sad and foreshadowy like 🎶I don’t really care if it nearly kills me, I’d give you the world if you asked me to.🎶😭

Nick and Charlie texted all night and this morning and Nick never told him he came out to him mum? WTF are you even talking about?

God Narlie are insufferable.

The fact that it takes them over a year longer to have sex is incredible to me.

Don’t you dare do a Scottish accent Tao Xu GTFOH

Why is everyone in Truham obsessed with apple juice?

Haha Ben everyone you kiss likes Nick more than you.

Wait. Charlie is the one who got bullied and there a guy in his school called Maximillian? HAHAHAHAH.

Ben “Are you just going to ignore me for two weeks?” It’s literally No Talking, No Engaging Study Hall (Which my school didn’t have, is this a real thing?)

“If you’re trying to keep it quiet you should probably stop acting so gay for him.” Sorry Nick, I don’t like the guy, but Ben has a point.

Elle: “Tao is literally the worst person–” Yeah I’m gonna stop you there.

Elle, please stop making beinh a teenager look so easy. It’s unrealistic to be that beautiful, smart, talented, fashionable, self assured, confident, and know how to flirt.

Chocolate bar scene is so cringe. “I want to keep it a secre-IT’S OUR TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF GAY DATING WHERE WE ARE GAY AND GO ON DATES!”

Stop making out in the locker room. I’ve read and written this fanfiction.

I’m sorry but the way Nick says, “We can, uh, kiss on the Eiffel Tower: was the SLUTTIEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD!

I know I joked last season that Nick was a lesbian, but the amount of Carhartt he wears, he might as well be.

Nick and Charlie are currently out to everyone in this scene and they are putting out less PDA than they do in fucking form.

We get it Isaac, you only like books. Okay.

Hilarious that Titanic is still a viable reference in 2023.

Damn Tao, I cannae believe you just rejected Elle. Fucking brutal. How dare you.

Isaac literally reading a book about being ace episode one. Just pointing it out for later when I absolutely rant the house down.

“How will I ever tell Imogen?” Nick asks, his arm around Charlie on the sofa.

What the fuck terrible thing are they watching and how has Imogen not needed the toilet for hours? Drink some water girl.

Wow thanks Nick, for showing me the very obvious bathroom.

The Imogen/Nick convo is so funny. Rhea is very comedic, I do like her.

Charlie stop walking around with a fucking blanket wrapped around your shoulders like you are going to rant about the end of the world in a park.

Charlie to his parents: You know my friend Nick? Lol, the guy you spend every waking minute with? Yeah, we know him.

Mr. Hypersexual Julio “you only want to go to Paris to shag your boyfriend” Spring. Calm down.

LMAO even Jane is like “stop fucking saying hanky panky!”

Tori’s face when Charlie says “Everything is going to be perfect” is all of us.

Episode 2

Ben’s parents are so hilarious. They make him look so tiny.

Sorry Charlie, your mum is right. You fucked up. But I do like that Julio gives her a look like “Seriously, he’s going to be home all the time?”

I’ve always felt like Imogen was a plot solution for the Ben/Becky storyline in Solitaire that needed to be in HS, and I think that’s why I dislike her so much. She is a device, not a person. It’s not her fault, but just…ugh.

Is everyone named Greene? Harvey Greene Grammar, Harry Greene, Ms. Greene? Get some new names Alice damn.

The pen scene is so cringe. I hate it so much. Like hey, everyone in year 11, look over here at us being in love. I would’ve dumped Charlie on the spot.

BAFTA nom for Farouk’s eyebrow.

Ew Ben stop referring to yourself as “liking girls and boys” you are 17.

Savage takedown there though, Benny Boy, not completely untrue.

Nick’s anger and anxiety issues have been sprinkled so subtly from the very beginning. 😙👌

Also “I’ve had the worst day HAHA” Time for therapy babes.

“But we could meet in the park?” Who said Heartstopper didn’t have realistic gay representation?

I will say, most of the time I find Nick and Charlie kissing to be quite cringe, but the park scene is cute and believable.

Naomi’s vocal fry is so fucking hilarious.

Damn, Tao’s mum is RICH rich.

Truham School for Boys: 1200 students, 6 teachers.

Nick Nelson you cannot call anyone an old man you were born wearing New Balance trainers.

LMAO Nellie growling at David.

Sorry but why is Jane kinda…in the scene where she’s telling Charlie he’s grounded?

Damn savage Tao: "Also, Mum, Elle’s not dead, like the love of your life. Goodnight!"

Episode 3

“What if we went to IKEA on our date like that film where they were really terrible for each other?” OK TAO.

Christian “Really Good Mates” McBride. Love u.

Mrs. Singh is stoked but has to remain professional.

James and Isaac bonding over the gay books 💕 (2nd Ace book sighting btw)

Charlie is me doing every undergrad assignment ever.

Nick “Will I ever come out? Maybe after Charlie runs into my arms in front of all the year 11s”

“Just a casual I love you.” Okay Tara. You and Tori should hang out. Deluuuusion.

Not rich boy Harry telling everyone to BYOB to Sai’s party. Like, that would be the main way you get people to like you if you are that much of a twat.

Love how James invited everyone to someone else’s party. Work.

OMG seeing Youssef and Nathan’s little exchange at the Paris meeting like “YOUSE ARE GONNAE GET MARRIED!!!”

Awww little Imogen has no fwends.

Tao: This date needs to be perfect! *choose most mid date of all time*

Tao looks like my college boyfriend at the cinema date. Like TWINS. lol

I recognize that Tao is very autistic coded, but damn bro, chill. You picked the film, no need to rant about how awful it is.

Charlie looks so cute at the party! Little baby.

Nick: “maybe I’ll come out to my friends after I have this public tickle fight with Charlie”

What in the Northern Ireland is going on here?

Will Gao is a good actor. I hope he has as much success as Joe and Kit after HS.

Whose tent is this? Did Tori pitch this tent?

Ooh, Tori’s got a bit of Jane in her. “You’re not very good at keeping your promises.” Watch out girl!

Why does Joe Locke low key look like my dad?

Love how Harry keeps looking at Nick’s mouth. You looooovvveee himmmmm.

Ah yes, sun stroke. The leading cause of illness in fucking England.

Stay low key? You mean *become* low key? Cuz ya’ll are steady HIGH KEY.

Episode 4

“Hello YOU TWO” OK Mr. Ajayi calm down.

Nick is almost as much of a Tao/Elle shipper as Tao’s mum.

You think 30-year-old Darcy lays in bed thinking about the time they asked their teacher why they couldn’t see any fish in the Eurotunnel?

I love Mr. Farouk. He is my kindred spirit. And he has a Scottish fringe.

Love the amount of logistical holes in HS. 40 students on an international trip and two chaperones. Sounds good.

I love how the B roll for Paris looks like it was shot out the window of a taxi by an intern on an iphone 7.

YOUSE ARE GONNAE GET MARRIEDDDDD!!!

I will not hyperfixate on Youssef and Nathan or plot a fic about their relationship I WILL NOT.

I guess this is when Imogen and Sahar are having their falling out? Aren’t they supposed to be old friends?

Barf barf barf Narlie. Fucking stop.

I appreciate Imogen’s commitment to the aesthetic. Based on everyone else’s clothing it’s scorching but she’s in a wool hat and a tweed jacket.

Farouk speaks French yet says cRRossant. LMAO.

Love how critical Tao is of Moonrise Kingdom when he literally dresses and acts like he’s in a Wes Anderson film 24/7.

Thank you Tara it is unbearable.

I don’t think they sell bubblegum ice cream in Paris you fucking savage.

Elle is the most beautiful person in the world. Like I can barely look at her what the fuck.

Imagine being in that restaurant NOT on that school trip. I would KMS.

Ben is psychotic.

James during Imogen’s breakup scene had me dyiiiinnnng.

We found Harry’s line. He’s a feminist.

Nick and Tao’s heart to heart brought to you by Vans

Love Charlie calling Nick out for posting about him on Instagram like a proud mum.

Maybe if Charlie ate some red meat he wouldn’t have bruised so easily.

[theladyofshalott1989]

 🎉 30,000 Reads on Like Moths to a Flame!!!

This morning, I hit 30,000 reads on Wattpad, Like Moths to a Flame's first home, so to speak. <3 When I started writing my series on Wattpad in March 2023, I had absolutely no idea where it would take me. In fact, I thought it was only going to be a one-shot. Silly me! In the past year and half, I've learned so much about myself. It turns out I can write 3 whole books in that relatively short period of time, alongside a plethora of one-shots, a short story, and a spin-off fic. All combined, that amounts to over 300,000 words. (I'm including the currently unpublished word count for the third book, chapters of which I'm posting weekly.)

I've also gained so much, the best of which are the wonderful, creative, and kind friends I've met along the way. Even during the hard times, just thinking of you all (you know who you are!!!) can turn my day around. <3

Some other things I've gained:

1. My writing skills have improved considerably, despite the fact that I've been writing on and off since I was a pre-teen. Writing daily will do that (haha). 2. I finally have an AO3 account! I've been reading on AO3 for over a decade but I never had my own account. I finally joined last August and I'm so glad I did! The AO3 community is so wonderful and I'm thrilled to finally be contributing to it as a writer. 3. I rejoined Tumblr. In January of this year, a reader on Wattpad recommended I check out the HL community here, so I said, why the hell not? And now look where we are. :)

4. Fan art! Last summer, a wonderful reader reached out to me on Wattpad with fanart and it snowballed from there. Every piece I receive from an artist, even to this day, I tear up in the best way. I've never been able to create art in this way (believe me, I tried for years LOL), and I am in absolute awe of all you amazing artists that can do so. The fact that so many of you have been inspired by my work and have had the courage to reach out and share your beautiful creations with me is truly astounding. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 5. Last, but certainly not least, HL rekindled my passion for writing. Prior to last spring, it had been years since I'd written something for myself. The moment I set pen to paper (yes, I wrote the first chapter in a notebook first because I wasn't sure if I was going to share it with the world!), I knew that was it for me. I was done-zo. I was sucked back into the world of writing. And I'll forever be grateful to the game for doing that for me. Finally, here's to Sebastian and Damien, who have taken on a life of their own. They're my boys, my brainrot, my children (besides my actual child - Sorry K, LOL - and yes, she may only be three but she could absolutely point out Sebastian in a lineup), and they'll hold a special place in my heart for all time.

Thanks for being on this journey with me! It's been a blast. :)

And just because, here's my Sebastien relationship playlist, which I think I've only shared here on Tumblr once before. It has a lot of fun, upbeat songs on it. Enjoy!

[aqua-dan]

hello!! Do you have any Garth comic recommendations for someone (me) who has never read a Garth comic outside of a handful of TT issues before?

Hi!! I definitely have some recommendations! This definitely isn't a comprehensive reading list by ANY means (although I do want to make one eventually!), but rather a small smattering of Garth centric comics that I think are fun or noteworthy! (These are also not in any particular order, just written out as they come into my brain lol)

Tempest (1996) - Obviously the Garth holy grail! There is no better Garth comic than this. It is peak and honestly one of the best books DC has ever put out. It's short, too (only 4 issues), so it's not too intensive of a read.

Adventure Comics #269 - "The Kid from Atlantis" - Garth's first appearance! Don't get too hung up on the lore here, as it changes later on, but it's a sweet issue and obviously important!

Adventure Comics #270 - "The Menace of Aqualad" - I love this issue for a multitude of reasons-- including the fully unintentional foreshadowing,-- but mainly I love it because it showcases what a sweet person Garth is and always has been.

World's Finest Comics #133 - "Aquaman's New Partner -- Aqua-girl" - Again, the lore needs to be disregarded, but this issue fascinates me as an early iteration of Garth's insecurity about where he stands with Arthur/feeling useful.

I probably shouldn't list everything individually so this post doesn't end up being a mile long, haha! So I'll start putting some groupings together:

Aquaman vol 1 #14, 18, 23, and #33

The Brave and the Bold #54

Teen Titans vol 1 #11 (not particularly Garth centric but just especially fun to me lol), #17, #19, #28, #29, #44-end of series. (Side note that @ttwasteland has a really good podcast covering volume 1 of Teen Titans! Actually, they have a lot of Teen Titans podcasts! Which is really useful for those who struggle to read Silver Age comics + I am immensely pleased with Hub's Aqualad enthusiasm!)

The Brave and the Bold (vol 3) #10

Death of a Prince (Technically, I recommend reading all of it, since it'll help you understand how things got to this point. But especially Adventure Comics #452 and the Aqualad stories in #453-455.)

Tales of the Teen Titans #85 & #86 + Teen Titans Spotlight #10

Teen Titans Spotlight #18

Teen Titans Spotlight #21

Aquaman vol 5 (Yes, all of it lol)

Showcase '96 #1

Teen Titans (Vol 3) #12-16

JLA/Titans

Titans (vol 1) At least the Devin Grayson portion, but I don't dislike the later stuff either!

There are also storylines that I think are fun or important that happen in across various books/stories (Obsidian Age, Aquaman vol 6, other (Teen) Titans stories, Blackest Night, CoIE, dare I even say Sword of Atlantis...), but I'll save those for a more in-depth reading list some other time! These ones are just popping up in my head rn.

If you want N52/Rebirth stuff, there are also a few stories that are pretty good. Sadly, they're pretty few and far between since canon changes and DC tossing their character bibles have left poor Garth in an odd, largely OoC limbo for years. Although I don't /love/ these stories as much as others, they still manage to vaguely pass the vibe check:

Nightwing & the Titans in Team Building (Robin 80th Anniversary 100 Page Super Spectacular) It's not super Garth centric, but it's fun!

Aquaman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 - “It’s a Family Affair”

Aquaman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 - “Lady in the Lake”

World's Finest: Teen Titans & DC's Spring Breakout "Relay for your Life" Garth's characterization in these... isn't right, but I feel like it has the spirit more than the vast majority of things published in recent years.

Titans (2023-) I... don't totally feel right putting this here, but I feel like slowly... extremely slowly... they are starting to fix Garth's characterization. We're not quite there yet-- and it is sadly written by Tom Taylor,-- but I feel like it's going to lead to something that's actually good for Garth again. (Aka so many hints towards a potential new Tempest mini-series or one-shot have been dropped lately, and I feel like this series will be context important.)

Ok, to try to finish this out: Also consider watching some stuff with Garth in it like Aquaman (1967) TV show / DC Super Hero Girls (2019), or reading some cute, non-canon series such as Tiny Titans! It's just good fun!!

Anyways, thank you so much for the ask!! I hope this helps!!! (And thank you for allowing me a chance to ramble lol!)

[thecurioustale]

My New Book Is Out! | Tokens of Zeal

My new book is out!

Buy it! Buy it now!

That's right: In secret, on January 2 of this year I began writing a book of essays. Some of you may know that I have an online journal, which I created in the summer of 2003 when I was just 21 years old and have kept up with ever since. For my new book I went back to the journal and read through it, entry by entry, drawing out excerpts of interest that became conversation pieces for 81 various and sundry essays reflecting on my past life and past thoughts.

The essays are short, often very short. They are less challenging than my usual writing, I would say. My purpose was not to advance my personal frontier of philosophy and intellectual thought in 2024, or to reach a niche audience of deep thinkers, but instead to reflect sincerely on some things I've seen along the way and muse upon how my thoughts have changed and stayed the same over twenty years.

I mention this to you because I am a bit worried that anyone who reads this book might think there's not much to me as an author, and might be dissuaded from reading my works of fiction when those books eventually come out, so I'll lampshade that by adding that I wrote this book in two-and-a-half months. Make of that what you will. I told myself I wouldn't self-sabotage the book by needlessly saying negative things about it, and I am proud of it, not only the fact that I finished it at all, let alone so quickly, but of the actual contents too.

This book is "Volume 1" in a hypothetical series, as it doesn't cover the entire twenty years of the journal but only the first four months, from August to November of 2003—at which point the essays had reached "book length" (lol). So really this book is a snapshot of my life in the latter half of 2003. At that time, I was fading out of college due to financial hardship and other issues, and did not realize that I would never (as yet) return.

I have been wanting for years to go back and reread my journal, and writing a book out of it was the perfect impetus to finally do it. I think a few things stand out about the Josh of 2023:

First, my principles have remained remarkably consistent, but my awareness and understanding of the world has grown drastically, and so those same principles have led me over time to some different policy views and worldviews on some things.

Second, I was a 21-year-old arrogant block of cheese, full of hormones and self-conviction, and that definitely shows up at times in ways that I simultaneously am not proud of and yet which I admire for their sheer gall. There is something very magnetic about the old me which doesn't exist anymore.

Third, following up on that point, it was pretty inspiring and encouraging to revisit the old me, with all that native optimism and drive. I don't express those qualities anymore because life has worn me down and also because I have come to recognize that humanity's problems are a lot more stubborn and irremediable than I thought. By glimpsing into the past, I couldn't help but be cheered on by the old Josh's proud, utopian sense of human inevitability. It lifted my own spirits in the here and now!

I made the mistake of announcing the book on Patreon right after I finished writing it, i.e. back in mid-March. Then I had to wring my hands every week about how post-production was taking longer than expected. Between the irritating realities of formatting a book in software not properly equipped to format a book (never write a book in Google Docs), the complexities of my detail-oriented manner and strong vision regarding the cover design (and engaging for the first time ever with modern generative AI, and having to learn those ropes), and sustaining illnesses and other life priorities and so on, it would take me another two months in all to finally reach today, where I can now publicly declare:

The book is done! It is for sale right now. It is called:

Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age

(Caption: Book front cover of Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age, by Joshua Calars.)

You can buy it through Amazon in either paperback or e-book format. (I recommend the paperback version for aesthetics as it is much truer to my design vision for the book's layout and appearance, but my profit margin is actually a dollar bigger with the e-book version, so really just go with whichever version you prefer.) It is available in the US as well as in basically all the other countries that Amazon has expanded its publishing service into. If you need help finding a link to a particular version, give me a ping and I will point you there (if there is a "there" to be pointed to). This is my second published book, following Prelude to After The Hero in 2015, and the first book to be published in print.

If you do read it, first of all thank you! It's an honor that you would take the time. Second of all, I would love any feedback you care to offer. That's not a platitude either; feedback is hard to come by and I really would be interested in anything you have to say, good or bad. You can e-mail me, DM, reblog this, drop an ask, or tag me in an independent post. Whatever you like! Feedback will help me greatly when I eventually get around to writing Volume 2. And feel free to leave a review on Amazon, whether good or bad (though hopefully you enjoy the book); I am told it pleases The Algorithm. But most of all, if you enjoy the book, tell someone about it! Your word-of-mouth is currently 100 percent of my advertising budget, lol.

That's all. I wrote a book; it took four-and-a-half-months; it's done now; and it's the first time I've ever gotten to hold a book that I wrote in my hands as a physical thing, and that's pretty neat.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Hi! I was just wondering who's your favorite phantom actor?

Can be from any Poto play, or movie, or anything really.

I'm really curious!

This and similar questions have been popping up so much for me in the last week lol

I like to be extremely specific so I will give you a few of my favourites

I have been meaning to re-examine my favourites for a while now

So my favourite overall, my number one, my blorbo, the phantom closest to my heart is always going to be Gerard Butler. Say what you want about his singing, but ain't no other phantom ever done Pleading Eyes (tm) like that man.

For stage Phantoms the one who has a hold on my mind that just will not let go is Tim Martin Gleason. I love a tall phantom. I love that in the title song he does not order Christine to sing for him, he asks her. He conveys, with his intonation, that he asks for the honour of having her sing for him. I love how expressive he is. This man made so many choices.

Vocally I think the best singer that has ever played the phantom is John Owen Jones. But I think my favourite phantom Vocally is Tomas Ambt Kofod, because he--more than ANY other Phantom I have heard, sounds like Erik. His voice is remarkable in its smoothness and delicacy, but also very powerful.

He's also so sensual and gentle. He loves to administer loving touches and caresses to his Christine.

His final lair is also devastating

The Phantom actor I think I respect most is Ethan Freeman. This man has such a dedication to this character and to the book specifically. He refused to read Phantom by Susan Kay because he didn't want an apocryphal version of the character to influence his interpretation, which he specified modeled off of Leroux's Erik, adding touches pulled directly from the novel such as kissing (or almost kissing) the hem of Christine's robe during "Stranger Than You Dreamt It", as Erik kisses the hem of her dress in the book.

Seen here in the West End in 1995 with Jill Washington:

And here, in Essen, 11 years later with Anne Görner:

It seems that over time he evolved this moment to the point that he appears to abandon the thought before he brings it close to his lips--probably thinking he's not even worthy of touching her vestments.

He's got an almost faerie-goblin quality to his interpretation. Like he's just scuttled out of the Black Forest. He also leans into the idea of Erik-as-Magician

He's not afraid to be sensual either, though.

I think the most emotional phantom is Earl Carpenter. One of the first full boots I ever watched was Earl Carpenter with Rachel Barrel. His Music of the Night changed my brain chemistry forever. The gentleness! The vulnerability! The vacillation between confidence and fragility!!

The way he would jostle Christine a little when he caught her, his face a picture of panicked concern!

Though I think his interpretation of Erik as (for want of a better word) asexual is a little wacky (considering the text), it strangely works in favour of Erik's particular brand of sensuality, and it paired particularly well with Rachel's timid and apprehensive interpretation of Christine (which I generally dislike--here, though). And his singing has only improved with maturity. The raw emotion of his All I Ask of You (Rooftop Reprise) in his 2023 run is shattering. Absolutely shattering.

My favourite feral Phantom is without a doubt Scott Davies. If you ever want to see the most unhinged "Let these freaks be together" e/c show you've ever seen you have GOT to watch Scott Davies with Meredith Braun. Ethan Freeman's got the Goblin King energy and Anthony Crivello has the Sewer Gremlin vibe, but if you ever want a Phantom with a real primal streak, you can do no better than long-standing West End understudy Scott Davies:

This guy tackled the role with a ferocity and an audacity that you don't generally find outside of Russian productions.

His Phantom hands? Oh Lordy!

And the best part is that Meredith's Christine was picking up EVERYTHING he was laying down. Her Christine is just as mad, just as feral, just as unhinged. And especially paired with such a hearty goodfellow Raoul as Matthew Cammelle--Raoul would have done well to gtfo of there. He was NOT prepared to handle this lmao.

And then there's Ted Keegan. Who for me will always be the Phantom that got away. If I had just done a little more research before--just three months into my poto obsession--booking my tickets to see phantom before it closed on Broadway, I might have had the transcendent experience of seeing Ted Keegan live. As it was, I had no idea he was even still playing the phantom, and wound up with Ben Crawford instead.

And I would be remiss if I finished this list without naming Thomas James O'Leary. Like Ethan Freeman, O'Leary leans into Erik's ghostly persona, with a magician's touch. I think he took a lot of inspiration from Lon Chaney's Phantom (note the position of his hands here).

His "Sing for me~" is one of my all time favourite line readings and got a very embarrassing reaction out of me when I first heard it.

And then, as if that wasn't enough, there was the moan.

[rosanna-writer]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! Thank you to everyone who tagged me!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024? 220,811 but some of those aren't mine because collab fic

2. How many fics did you complete this year? 12! but a lot of them are oneshots

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year? Two, if you count the abandoned one

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote? The fics written with friends in mind, so Love at First Sight's for Suckers, Baby, I'm the One to Beat, The Great War, and you're in the kitchen humming

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style? I think Knuckles Bruised Like Violets was my first no-magic modern AU? And inspired by a specific real life event, which isn't my usual thing

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception? I'm kinda shocked by how many hits I got on You All Over Me, and the ratio of hits to kudos is definitely out of sync with what I normally expect. I have my suspicions as to why - it's omegaverse but with a male omega and female alpha, so I think a pretty decently sized chunk of people didn't read the tags and noped out halfway through the fic when they realized Feyre was knotting Rhys and not vice versa. Or maybe that's pessimistic and it's hella re-reads, idk

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!) It was expected for a non-smutty rare pair drabble, but now i've read all of the books beside your bed didn't get a ton of traction

8. Who is an artist that inspired you? I was lucky to get a few peeks of things in process that friends shared, and I find that so inspiring. It's like a little peek behind the curtain as the magic happens! @stickyelectrons, @gracieart, @witchlingsandwyverns, @santkazoya all come to mind!

9. Who is an author that inspired you? Oh my goddddd so many people! @witch-and-her-witcher and @violetasteracademic for tackling ambitious, sprawling interconnected fics; you two are creating whole damn universes and I am in awe. I can see the influence of @thesistersarcheron and @the-lonelybarricade inspiring how I write things like Feysand's interpersonal dynamics (Rhys is insane and pspspsing his feral cat of a wife who may or may not know she's his wife) and daemati abilities (everything's happening in their brains, but ya gotta bring it to life with some physicality, if that makes sense?). And I quietly ask myself "what would @whatishowedyouinthedark and @belabellissima do?" when I'm staring at my document trying to make the whole thing a bit more sexy/bloody/generally insane <3

10. Who is a new author you discovered? So many new people who feel like they've been here forever!!!! @violetasteracademic, @lady-bluebird-luv, @tunaababee, @astra-aeterna, @trappedoutside124, @beesays and there's probably at least like ten more?

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start? @gaeleria was just chatting and whoops @feysand-hivemind was born!

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of? I set out to challenge myself to write a bigger variety of pairings in 2024. In 2023, I'd only written Feysand and Gwynriel, but this year I tried my hand at Elriel, Elucien, Gywnlain and Feyrhysien for a few oneshots and event week fics. yay for setting a goal and doing it!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year? I've been writing fic on and off since I was a kid, but I've been writing for ACOTAR for almost two years now. 2024 was really the first time I've been a consistent enough writer in a fandom to become sort of a "known quantity" - people sometimes recognize my username, and I've written enough fics to identify patterns. Writing feels a bit different when you think your audience (even if it's just a handful of regular AO3 commenters lol) is coming in with a set of expectations. It's not pressure per se and doesn't stress me out, but once you've written enough, there's a new awareness of when you're deviating from your style or not.

Sierra Simone has some free worksheets from the course she teaches on writing erotic romance (you can find them here, highly recommend!), and the exercises for identifying voice ("What makes your work, your work?", "when a reader picks up a book written by me, they can expect _____.", etc) got me thinking a lot about this kind of thing. You can really only start to wrap your head around voice/style once you have a body of work to reflect on, and that takes time.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers? Don't be a weenie about asking for beta reads, and when you do have a beta, interrogate them a lil. We all get squirrelly and wanna just yeet the document at them and then go hide forever. But asking them to read for something specific - "Is xyz confusing?", "Do you think this feels like a cop-out or am I doing the right thing by keeping it simple?", "Were there any parts you were tempted to skim?", etc - can really help you grow. Sometimes comments on a document are enough, but sometimes it needs to be more of a conversation.

You are not being annoying by asking for a beta read. It's not a burdensome thing to put on someone. We ALL need a second set of eyes, and we're in this together!

15. What are your creative goals for 2025? I'm trying not to start new multichapter fics until I make good progress on my two "open" ones. So more oneshots for the vibes and then lock in and crank out chapters for we said hello and Baby, I'm the One to Beat!

[crippleprophet]

hey, i don't want to put you out or anything, i was just wondering if like off the top of your head if you knew any disability studies articles/books/whatever that center (or even just feature) tic/involuntary movement disorders?

so the answer to this was pretty much no but i spent a bit of time poking around and turned up this 2023 undergraduate honors thesis (link) by a student with tourette’s which seems like a solid starting point for going down the citation rabbit hole!

that piece is “The Embodied Performance of Tics and Tourette Syndrome in the Academic Environment” by Benjamin Allen; i’m only ~1/4th through rn but they argue for a continuum of ticcing + criticize the diagnostic system so i’m comfortable reccing it on that front! the (non-medical) tic-related works cited there are:

Buckser, Andrew. “Before Your Very Eyes: Illness, Agency, and the Management of Tourette Syndrome.” Medical Anthropology Quarterly, vol. 22, no. 2, 2008, pp. 167-192.

Buckser, Andrew. “The Empty Gesture: Tourette Syndrome and the Semantic Dimension of Illness.” Ethnology, vol. 45, no. 4, 2006, pp. 255- 24. https://www.jstor.org/stable/20456601.

Curtis-Wendlandt, Lisa. “Time and the Tic Disorder Triad.” Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology, vol 27, no. 2, 2020, pp. 183-199.

Curtis-Wendlandt, Lisa, and Jack Reynolds. “Why Tourette syndrome research needs philosophical phenomenology.” Phenomenology and the Cognitive Sciences, vol. 20, no. 4, 2021, pp. 573-600.

Miller, James. “The Voice in Tourette Syndrome.” New Literary History, vol. 32 no. 3, 2001, pp. 519-536. Project MUSE, doi:10.1353/nlh.2001.0039.

Trubody, Ben. “Ticced off: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of The Experience of Tourette’s Syndrome.” Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis, vol. 25, no. 2, 2014.

i also searched a handful of disability studies journals for a variety of keywords (movement disorder, tic, tourette’s, involuntary movement, chorea, huntington’s) but didn’t turn up much unfortunately, so all but the first of this next list include someone with tics and/or involuntary movements rather than being about moving involuntarily.

haven’t read these so i can’t speak to the politics / quality (although i’ll make a post if i’m able to read more) but here’s what seemed potentially relevant! also if anything is paywalled please don’t give T&F your money lol, try SciHub or if you can’t find something i can ask around for somebody with institutional access!

Cultural Differences in Reactions to Tics and Tic Severity (2021)

Using virtual reality to implement disability studies’ advocacy principles: uncovering the perspectives of people with disability (2023)

I had every right to be there: discriminatory acts towards young people with disabilities on public transport (2020)

From comedy targets to comedy-makers: disability and comedy in live performance (2015)

From the Case Files: Reconstructing a history of involuntary sterilisation (2010)

i also want to mention “Movements of the Uncontrollable Body Part Two” by Bronwyn Valentine (2019), a creative writing piece about her experiences of embodiment + ableism with spina bifida that i first read pretty soon after it was published & went looking for after developing my movement disorder a year ago because it was so impactful. @fndportal also has some incredibly vital work.

also if you haven’t already read Rosemarie Garland-Thomson’s Staring: Why We Look, it’s not specifically about involuntary movements but definitely a core text for theorizing any visibilized disability.

i hope some of that is helpful!! if anybody checks any of these out i’d love to hear your thoughts/critiques! all the best to you & i hope these offer some resonance with + understanding of your experiences 💓💓

[srrybabe]

ty for tagging me @girlfog 💖

last song: BOILED PEANUTS by Doechii

favorite color: pink!!! (honorable mention goes to like dark red though)

last book: Me trying to think so hard of the last book I read....UHHHHHHHHHHHH. I've only read graphic novels recently, I think the last book I read was Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko in 2023 LOL

last movie: The Wicked movie! :)

last tv show: Traitors(season 1)

sweet/savory/spicy: ugh depends on my mood for either sweet vs savory...I'll probably say savory thoughhhh

relationship status: In a relationshipppppp 💖💖💖

last thing i searched: goodreads.com because I was trying to see what I read last LOL

current obsession: Probably Doechii....can't stop listening to her music

looking forward to: My gf's birthday because we are gonna go to Din Tai Fung and go to a scalp spa :3

favorite drink: Probably a good iced caramel latte LOL. Or a Shirley Temple is fun too!!!

song playing 24/7: BOILED PEANUTS by Doechii currently...lool

current favorite character: Ditto with Caitlyn Kiramman atm LOL

fun activity i’d like to get into: I wanna get back into drawing buttttttt lool idk if I will.

last video game: Marvel Rivals (crowd boos). BUT I WAS PLAYING FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND HER BF AND IT WAS FUN LOL

last comic: Issue 17 of Snotgirl!

I tag @mantarayz @mallodrama @fairycosmos @cutiepuff @soliloking @roseyrex @babiedspice @marciliedonato @morgeysplace @kiwi-cow @ratlezbian @theresebelivett and anyone else who wants to do it! :)