#important and difficult all at once and ugh. ugh.

[freckledmountain]

I wish I could have my cake

and eat it too.

I´m hungry

[joicecubes]

im feeling especially unwell today about the fact that ford was canonically the one who was the most committed to helping stan get his memory back after weirdmaggedon. i’ve been thinking about it nonstop. that he’d fall asleep next to stan watching old videos of them as kids, that he’d recount as many memories he could think of, that he spent all that time apologizing too?

like as much as they were both in the wrong for everything that happened to drive a rift between them, i feel like this is when ford would finally be able to come back down to earth and realize how much he’s failed stan. because there’s a sizeable chunk of stan’s life, aside from the 30 years he was in the multiverse, that ford knows nothing about. and how does he explain that? how is he supposed to admit to a completely unknowing stan that the reason they were apart for so many years is because stan broke his science fair project? ruined his chances to go to that college, of course, but he made it alright regardless, didn’t he? and what did stan have to go through as a result? all ford knows is that hes been to prison in three different countries. that he once had to chew his way out of a trunk of a car. his life must’ve been so difficult, he was kicked out as a teenager after all, and ford had done nothing to reach out. held this pointless grudge for over a decade.

i just can’t imagine the sheer amount of guilt ford must be feeling. to be the one to recount these memories to stan, it would give him this kind of perspective that he never had before. ford runs from self-reflection. he doesn’t think about the ways he’s wronged the people he cares about because it scares him to come face-to-face with his failures. but now he’s forced to come to terms with the reality of their situation, and the reality is that stan didn’t deserve the harsh consequences of his mistake. the reality is that, no matter how responsible stan was for selfishly ruining ford’s dream, it was ford who so stubbornly kept the distance between them. he was right to be angry. but in turning his back on his brother, his best friend, the person most important to him in the world, ford has fundamentally failed him.

ugh. i need to write a fic about this

[cameronspecial]

how about we go a lil angsty? the reader hadn’t yet told him about her being pregnant bcs she remembers Drew once said he doesnt know if he wants to be a dad and so she tried to bring the topic up with hypothetical questions and his answers not exactly the thing she wanted to hear so she went all silent and pulled herself away and stuff.

I dont wanna give it away, so please you decide the ending..either they communicate and Dad!Rafe rise or…

I Want This

Pairing: Dad!Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Abortions and Miscommunication

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.2K

Masterlist

Well… She doesn’t know what she expected the results to be, but this is definitely an answer. Y/N doesn’t even think she can focus on the opinion she has of this situation because all she can think about is Drew’s.

———

“Awww, Babe, look at this pic of Lils that Mac sent me,” he gushed, holding his phone up to his fiancée. She looked up from her laptop, “So cute. Ugh, I miss them so much. I mean look at those little baby rolls. I just want to cuddle the cutie.” He smiled and brought her head under the crook of his neck. “I know. We have to visit them soon. I’m so glad I have a niece. It means I can be the fun uncle forever and never have to be a dad,” he mindlessly thought out loud, going back to scrolling on his phone. This caused her to freeze; they never talked about having kids, but he was so good with them that she assumed he would want them. She should’ve asked him about it because she wanted them. She didn’t though. Kids were important to her and so was Drew. She wasn’t ready to cause a rift in their relationship because of something small. 

———

Staring at the positive pregnancy test, she has to figure out a way to gauge how he would feel about it before actually telling him the truth. Once she knows how he feels, it will help her decide how she wants to feel about it seeing that if they are on the opposite page, then she would have to make a difficult decision. She shoves the positive tests into the box and hides them in her makeup drawer. He never goes looking there. She exits the bathroom, lets out a deep breath, and heads to the kitchen to start getting lunch ready. Drew is coming home from filming in Morocco later today. The music blasting through the speakers makes her unaware of the new presence in the house. He smiles at the dancing silhouette cutting potatoes. His hand drops over her eyes and she sets the knife down with a grin. Her arms wrap around her neck to bring him down towards her. This allows her to pepper his face with kisses. “Hey, you weren’t supposed to be back until tonight,” she notices, turning the music off. His hand rests on her hip, “I was, but I was offered an early flight and I couldn’t say no to seeing my girl early. I missed you and I love you.” She sinks into his hold. “I missed and love you too.”

The couple spend the next half an hour cooking together before settling themselves at the dining room table. Since they talked to each other throughout cooking, silence falls over them. A chime comes from his phone and he checks it to see a text from his sister. “Mac is planning on coming down with Lils and my mom soon. They can stay in the guest room, right?” Drew confirms, reading over the text again. She nods, “Yeah, I’ll get it ready over the weekend and buy one of those travelling crib things for Lils. It is going to be fun to have a baby around the house. The guest room would make a nice baby room in the future. It has nice big windows and the closet is the perfect size.” The chuckle that comes out of his mouth drops her stomach into a furnace. 

“What’s so funny?” she questions. He shrugs, “Not the babysitting part. They could both use a break and I will never say no to spending time with my niece. It’s just the thought of having to turn the guest room into a baby room is funny.” 

“Oh, why?”

“I don’t know. It’s a guest room. I mean where would our family stay when they come over?” 

“Yeah, where would they stay?”

She should probably ask if he meant he can’t imagine the room as a baby room right now or if it was a forever thought; however, she is scared of the answer she is going to get so she shuts down the conversation. They sit in a new tension-filled silence that he pretends he can’t feel. 

———

After lunch, Y/N retreats to the backyard to swing in the hammock. This tells him that she needs some space and he knows she is upset when she is still outside at eleven p.m. The friction of the patio door sliding against each other makes her turn to him. She doesn’t acknowledge his presence, waiting for him to say something. He places the plate of pasta he made for dinner onto the side table beside the hammock. “I found the pregnancy tests,” he states, bringing one of the patio chairs close to her. She freezes and sits up. Her legs swing over the fabric to face him, “How?” “Maddie helped me pick out clay pot Moroccan lipstick for you and I wanted to surprise you with it. I was going to hide it in your drawer…” he explains, eyes falling to his fingers and trailing off at the end. Her head moves up and down. Her thoughts are moving around her head a thousand miles a second. He is going to break up with her. He is going to make her have an abortion. Or worse. He is going to make her choose between the baby or him on the spot. 

He grows nervous when she doesn’t say anything and his suspicions are confirmed. He understands why she is unsure about talking to him about this. The way he has spoken about having a baby in the past could’ve given her the wrong idea. He hesitantly reaches to place a hand on hers and does it when she doesn’t shy away. “I want you to know that the decision about what we do with the baby is up to you and I will be at your side during the whole process,” he assures. Her confusion causes tears to crop up in her eyes, “You don’t want the baby though. I know that, so if you are going to break up with me because I do, then just do it. But making me have to choose is kinda cruel.” His heart squeezes, hating that his words aren’t coming out as he means them to be. His head shakes like crazy and he sits beside her. He brings her head against his chest, “Babe, I don’t want to break up with you. I want to have this baby with you too.”

“You want the baby? Then how come you don’t think the guest room would be a good baby room?”

“Because my office would be a better one. The windows aren’t too big so it won’t wake the baby up in the morning and the closet there is even bigger, so when they get older they can have as many clothes as their heart desires.”

“Okay, you are right… What about when you said you want to be an uncle forever and never be a dad?”

“Honestly, I never really thought I would want to be a dad. I was content with being an uncle, but, Babe, when I found that pregnancy test, all I could think about was how happy I was to be bringing a child into the world with the most amazing woman in the world and I couldn’t wait to raise them with you.”

She leans back and rests a warm palm on his cheeks, trying to hold back her tears. “So you want to have this baby?” she verifies. He kisses the tears away, “I want this, Babe. I promise. We are going to do this. Together.”

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura

[pandaspwnz]

just finished rewatching EXU: Calamity and once again cried so much. It really is one of the most masterful stories I've ever seen/heard, and absolutely the best actual play series ever done, bar none. I'm in such awe of Brennan's dm'ing skills, I adore Marisha's beautiful showing of emotions, I love seeing how much Sam and Travis love their children via how much they feel for these fictional ones, Luis' portrayal of Zerxus was so heartfelt and grounded, Lou always brings his whole soul into what he does and this was no exception, and Aabria being willing to make the difficult choices and how she shows Laerryn's dedication is just. Ugh. chefs kiss. Not to mention the group dynamics, the Aabria-Travis hype man squad, the Marisha-Lou/Marisha-Luis grabby shenanigans, how Sam and Aabria play the perfect divorcees, they're all just so fantastic and did such a good job, etc etc. I truly love Calamity so much, I can't believe it's a real show, I can't believe how fucking GOOD it is. Every single one of those people brought their A-game, but I really do especially have to call out Brennan Lee Mulligan. The way that man portrays people and humanity, how even in the end of things he speaks of the importance of hope, how he narrates and weaves the most beautiful tales and makes it so alive and tangible, how he knows exactly when to drop in some comedy amidst tragedy without detracting from it... he's simply fantastic. I'm in awe of them all!!

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 15

Emily Prentiss x reader Warnings: language, smut eluded to/mentioned, mainly a filler chapter taking place in the days directly following the last chapter.

Rolling over Emily felt her body sink even deeper into your mattress, the blankets cocooned perfectly around her and she felt more relaxed than she had all week. She heard the all to familiar creak of your shower tap as it turned off and she let out a quiet groan, she’d forgotten it was Monday. With a reluctantly huff she pushed herself up to sitting, starting to change out of the pyjamas you’d leant her back into the clothes she’d tossed into a spare chair.

“You could’ve stayed sleeping.” Your voice quietly broke through the room as you re-entered it, clad in only your underwear as you stepped toward your closet.

“It’s fine.” She pinched at the bridge of her nose, “I’ve got a mountain of paperwork I need to get a start on.”

“My grocery order got delayed thanks to the weather, best I can offer you is a frozen waffle.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She chuckled, “I usually grab something on the way in anyways.”

“Good.” You turned to her with a grin, “cause I’m pretty sure they’re past the best by date.”

Emily laughed, shaking her head at you, her eyes lingering on your semi naked frame longer than she had originally intended. Your phone pinged and the hanger in your hand dropped to the bed as you picked up the device, your attention fully on it as you face her. It was then Emily noticed the deep purple nearly black bruise on your thigh and she was about to make a comment about your tennis skills until her eyes focused and she realized there was a clear line of teeth marks on the outer edge. Her mind thought back to the previous evening, the band-aid on  your arm mixed with this was a clear sign you’d had some fun in Florida.

“Ugh.” You dropped your phone down on the nightstand, picking up the shirt and putting it on, “you think some people would have the decency to wait past eight a.m. to start planning a date.”

“Date?” Her brow raised in your direction and you let out a huff, stepping into a pencil skirt, quickly fixing your outfit before grabbing a pair of heels.

“Yeah. Heather needed specific support for a legislation and I got roped into going on a date with this congressman’s kid. You flirt a little and they’ll take it a whole other direction.”

She followed you down the stairs, beginning to wonder just how much fun you’d had in Florida, “that a regular occurrence?”

“Depends. Most of the time it’s only dinner or drinks with the added bragging rights of being seen together.” You shrugged, “you want a coffee to go?”

“Yeah, sure.”

It only took you a few seconds to pour her out a mug, fixing it perfectly to her liking before handing it to her.

“Thanks.” She smiled at you, her shoulders relaxing once again when you smiled right back at her.

“I’ll see you Wednesday?”

“Yeah, of course.” With another smile she turned back toward the door, collecting her coat and stepping into her shoes.

“And Emily?” You called out, poking your head around the corner.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever feel bad about calling or showing up, okay? I’d hate for you to be alone at home trapped with whatever haunting thoughts are running through your brain after a bad case.”

“Okay.” She laughed softly a warmth spreading through her cheeks.

“I mean it. And if you’re too dragged down or drunk to drive, I’ll knock down your door. I know it’s difficult being the boss, but you’ve gotta remember, you’re important too.”

“Thank you, really.” Stepping toward the door she pulled it open, grimacing at the view outside, “and you promise me you’re gonna drive safe, it looks like shit out here.”

“I will.”

*

Emily had been right, the roads were pretty terrible, making your commute longer and worse than you’d expected. You’d shot a text off to Heather about running late and she told you not to worry about it, she’d rather have you take your time and arrive in one piece than rush and risk something happening. You were stuck at a light you’d been waiting three rotations at already when your phone buzzed in the cupholder. Picking it up you assumed it was another text from Heather to find that it was your Venmo app, a hundred dollar payment received from Emily.

A weird sensation wormed its way into your stomach and for a moment you thought maybe you’d accidentally used spoiled milk in your coffee. The screen remained on your phone, glaring up at you in the low morning light, and you tugged your lip between your teeth as the wheels started turning in your brain. You knew what your agreement was, you’d signed and added to the contract after all, one hundred dollars for anything that was akin to a casual dinner or simple companionship. In your mind, that meant something like going out to a movie, having lunch during a relaxed weekend, running errands together so you didn’t have to do it alone. Your thumb hovered over the ‘refund’ button, it almost felt weird taking money from Emily for something like her needing comfort, she’d needed a friend or something more in that moment, not a client. Right as you were about to make an impulsive decision, the light changed and the car behind you laid on their horn, causing you to drop your phone back into the cupholder and forget about it for the time being.

Thankfully the rest of the way to the office was relatively clear and you managed to make record time, collecting your things and making your way inside. You thought it was time for a quiet morning, not a lot of people around the building, but right as you passed Heather’s office her voice called out.

“Hey!”

Freezing in your step, you winced, slowly backtracking to her door, “sorry, I did my best.”

“Sweetheart with the quality of work you do I couldn’t give a fuck if you were late.” She opened a drawer of her desk, pulling out a couple of things, “c’mere.” You almost hesitantly entered her office, crossing the space to her desk as she grinned up at you, extending a sealed envelope, “from Rob.”

“Oh, perfect.” You tucked it into your bag.

“You alright?” She asked, surveying you for a minute.

“Yeah, drive just frazzled me a little bit.”

“Okay.” She glanced down to your purse, “are you going to open that?”

“It’s basically only for my peace of mind anyways. I’ll let you know if there’s any wildly shocking results.”

“Better hope you’re not pregnant, I’m not raising another one.”

“God you are such a comedian, and at this hour of the morning. Just how do you do it?”

“Anymore sass and you’re not getting the other thing I have in here for you.”

“Oh?”

She chuckled softly, pulling out a small box from the drawer and handing it to you, “good job in Florida. You really upped your game.”

“Thank you.”

“On the contrary, I should be thanking you.”

“Isn’t that what this is?” You gestured to the gift box.

“That’s for last week.”

“Then…what are you thanking me for?”

“Keeping the appropriate kind of secrets from me at the appropriate time.” She smiled, “Now go on,” she shooed you away, “you’ve got more important things to do than stand around gossiping.”

**

Despite not calling the team in until Wednesday, Emily found herself back at the office midday Monday, working through as much as she could to make sure every report she handed off to Bailey had an excruciating amount of detail with all the I’s dotted and t’s crossed.

Tuesday she stayed stationed at her desk the entire day, working well into the evening, thanking the desk clerk for bringing up multiple rounds of take out so she wasn’t surviving on coffee alone. It was a heavy paperwork week, there were a handful of invoices still sitting in her inbox she needed to explain what were for and sign off on before sending them up the chain, payroll needed to be completed and her inventory needed to be double checked and sent off. With the team coming back in tomorrow she was hoping she could get most of it done by noon considering once their paperwork was done she needed to sign off on it before it went up the chain and there was always the chance of them catching another case. She was starting to wish she’d pushed them coming back until Thursday at this point.

Her phone buzzed on her desk and she glanced up, honestly welcome for the intrusion as she blinked her eyes a few times, pushing her glasses up onto her head as she dropped her pen, flexing her hand in an attempt to relieve the cramp. Picking up her phone she was surprised to see Heather’s name flash across the screen and she quickly swiped open the message.

‘Sorry to bother you, I know you’re likely busy as all hell but I would love to get your professional opinion on something sometime this week.’

‘Yeah, of course. What are your office hours looking like this week? I’m probably going to be swamped tomorrow but could manage to disappear for a midday so called lunch.’

‘I was thinking more along the lines of after hours. Any chance you think you could swing by my place Thursday around eight? I promise you’ll be sent home with a to go plate from dinner and a bottle of Macallan.’

‘Oh well, twist my rubber arm why don’t you.’ Emilylaughed softly, ‘send me the address again, I know you’re Chevy Chase but can’t remember much past that.’

‘You’re a gem. Thank you.’  ‘3301 Fessenden St NW’

Emily put down the phone, picking up the pen to scribble the address into her desk calendar, chewing on her thumbnail as she looked through all the notes written down. Her eyes landed on the green ink on Wednesday evening and she let out a small huff before picking up her phone again, selecting your contact.

‘Hey, I know we scheduled for Wednesday but do you think there’s any chance we can push it to the weekend, Saturday even? It’s payroll week and quarterly end and I didn’t quite realize how much I’d let pile up.’

She waited a few minutes, taking the opportunity to continue with her break, scrolling through a few apps and replying to another couple of personal text messages in the meantime before her phone buzzed once again.

‘Fucking hell I forgot about fucking payroll.’ ‘Yeah the weekend is totally fine. And don’t stress about making a reservation or anything yet, if you’re too wiped when the time comes we can just wait til next week, I won’t be offended.’

‘Alright.’ She laughed softly, ‘I’ll pencil you in for Saturday then?’

‘Sounds perfect.’

‘Why are you worrying about payroll?’

‘Heather’s PA is on vacation; I’ve been covering the more complicated duties while she’s gone.’

‘Pain the ass, hey?’

‘Absolutely. When you’re a kid you think being the boss is gonna be the coolest thing, turns out it’s all paperwork.’

‘Tell me about it.’

She let out a small laugh, placing her phone back down on the desk as she let out a small sigh and slid her glasses back on. If she was going to keep adding to her week, she better pick up right where she left off.

**

The sound of the doorbell echoed through the Dunbar household on Thursday evening and Rob was the one who got to there first, pulling it open to enthusiastically greet Emily.

“Hey, come in, come in.” He gestured, swinging the door shut behind her, “it’s been a while.”

“It really has.” She laughed softly, accepting the brief one armed hug while he offered to take her coat and she was able to toe off her snow coated shoes.

“How’s the bureau? Heat tells me you’ve moved up to Section Chief?”

“Oh, entirely too much paperwork and definitely not enough fun.”

“Sounds like you need a vacation.” He half teased before calling down the hall, “Heat, you’ve got company.”

It only took a couple of seconds before Heather had rounded a corner down the long hall, actively wiping her hands off on a dish towel as she approached them.

“Thank you so much for coming.” Leaning in she pressed a kiss to her cheek, “there’s straight liquor and wine upstairs but we’ve got mojito and negroni’s going in the kitchen if you prefer.”

“Wine is fine.” Emily assured and Heather turned to her husband, passing off the dish towel.

“Would you make sure you pack up a nice container from dinner for her, and don’t skimp! Lord knows she’s been living off small town takeout.”

“Double portions of everything, got it.” Rob replied with a small salute to his wife before disappearing down the same hall.

Heather’s hand quickly pressed on the small of Emily’s back, directing her up the stairs, “sorry it’s a bit chaotic in here tonight.” She commented, no doubt addressing the amount of noise bouncing around through the house. “You’d think two kids coming home for dinner would mean just that and maybe some laundry but Jordan’s taken over the basement entertainment system with a group of his friends, Becca’s got a mock Jeopardy battle going on to help study for winter exams and Rob’s entertaining one of the biggest hospital owners in the State.”

“Sounds like none of you Dunbar’s know how to rest.” Emily teased, following Heather into her home office.

“I would say the work ethic’s in the genes but I’m pretty sure the boys are playing Grand Theft Auto downstairs.” She turned back around, handing off a hefty glass of wine to the other woman, “how about you? Have things calmed down at all?”

“In the sense of field work, I guess. But the paperwork never stops and it’s just so dull.” She groaned, “I really don’t know how you keep up with your workload.”

“I’ve got a rather large and very talented and committed team, most of whom I raised from the ground up.”

Emily nodded, her ears picking up the sound of stilettos on the hardwood, almost like they were pacing up and down the hallway, another dinner companion that seemed to be on the phone, little hums and huffs every so often until your voice hit her ears. She could just make it out over the small talk her and Heather continued to have before diving into things. You were using a sickeningly sweet yet also a completely dominating voice that Emily had never heard before. There was a husk to it, but it also sounded like utter silk and she was practically melting, her attention drifting from Heather’s voice more than she meant it to.

You’d been approaching Heather’s office to use to finish up your private conversation but once you made it a foot from the door you realized that she had company. Trying both not to interrupt and also not be clearly overheard depending on her guest, you lingered in the doorway as you talked.

“Ohohoho..” you let out a low laugh, “come on now Frank, you know Ms. Dunbar needs this done by the end of the week, I’m sure you have even the tiniest sliver of time to squeeze us in. How about I get us a table at Palm Court? You know I’ll be sure to have the Wagyu flown in from Kagoshima, just like you like it.” You barely let a beat pass, “don’t you worry about Claire, I’ll keep her nice and busy, it’s been a while since we’ve met up and lord knows I need a fresh manicure.”

Feeling cocky enough that you’d sealed the deal you made the slow steps towards Heather’s door, keeping your voice quiet enough to not disturb her conversation.

“That’s what I thought. Thank you.”

Heather glanced up at the sound of success in your voice as you stepped into the office and small smirk overtook her lips. Emily watched as you dropped the façade, your body relaxing though you still absolute exuded power and confidence. Rather than a cute little skirt and top, she figured it was the weather that made you opt for the very form fitting pant suit, white tank blouse dipping just below your collarbone to leave enough for imagination but entice everyone, blazer likely strewn somewhere else in the house. You crossed the room, tossing Heather’s work cell down onto her desk.

“Underwood will meet you at two on Friday.”

“I—What?” It was Emily’s voice that cut in first and you glanced toward her with a grin on your cheeks.

“What?”

“You’re on first name basis with The President?”

“Part of the job.” You shrugged, “besides, his wife always has the best gossip.”

Emily practically gaped, looking between you and Heather, watching the other woman chuckle softly.

“See what I mean? She wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight, showed up to finish this deal for me because I wasn’t answering my phone.”

“Yeah…” She nodded, still a little dumbfounded by the entire thing. She knew you were well intermingled with varying levels of politicians but she hadn’t expected something of this magnitude. Then again, when her eyes surveyed over you once more, she could see the sheer amount of power just drifting off you, the only time she’d seen you in work mode before was the very first day she met you and she was starting to realize why Heather had teased her for drooling.

You cast her a smile before turning back to your boss now that she had sat behind her desk “I’ve done by due diligence tonight, but I’m finished babysitting. Becca’s gonna ace her exams, Rob’s sweeping the floor at poker, but your other kid’s an idiot, they’re daring each other to a bellyflop competition.”

“They took the cover off the pool?” Heather groaned, pinching at the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah. A hundred bucks says the hot tub’s next.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Good thing there’s a slew of doctors in the house.” You teased and Heather rolled her eyes as you turned to Emily, squeezing at her elbow with a bright smile, “good to see you. I love that colour.” Your fingers toyed with the lapel of her blazer and a glinting in the low light caught her eye, an absolutely stunning cluster of diamonds and yellow gold on your wrist, “it looks phenomenal on you.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, her breath nearly catching in her throat as she glanced up at you and you smiled, turning back to Heather.

“You owe me, big.”

“What? Twenty three grand wasn’t enough?” She asked with a tease and you rolled your eyes as you started to make your way out of the room.

“I refuse to pawn gifts, you know that.” You called over your shoulder, “so don’t you dare make me work Christmas.”

“You don’t even celebrate the holidays.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like bonus time off,” you turned, resting your hand on the doorframe, bracelet sparkling, “maybe even a few days at one of the plethora of vacation bundles you have stocks in?”

“Thought you said you were done working and thus, done bothering me? Sometimes I regret giving you your own key!”

Heather raised a brow, laughing when all you did in return was flip her off and disappear from her view. Emily chuckled, finally taking a sip of her wine, though her eyes lingered on the doorway as if she could still see the diamonds glinting.

“Something catch your eye?” Heather asked with a smirk and she finally turned back to her, gently dropping into a chair.

“Uh, guess I hadn’t seen her in work mode in a while.” She admitted, feeling her cheeks heat, “didn’t realize she accessorized so well.”

“You like the bracelet?”

“Yeah, it’s stunning.”

“Harry Winston.”

“Damn.” Emily’s eyes widened, “they don’t even list the prices on the website, you’ve got to go in.”

Heather shrugged, “she worked hard for it. Florida certainly earned her a little extra winter bonus.”

“Huh…” Emily nodded, going to take another sip of her wine right as everything managed to click together like puzzle pieces. She quickly masked herself before her eyes could widen again, sucking back more wine as a distraction. A strange sensation began to twist in her lower stomach, one that she didn’t really like at all but it continued to grow as she thought about the woman across the desk from her buried between your legs.

Heather surveyed her for a moment as she took a sip of her own bourbon and she could have sworn she saw the tiniest hint of green flash through her dark eyes. Her head tilted slightly, the sudden way Emily was picking at her thumbnail was speaking pretty clearly but now she was wondering if you had shown up on purpose, flaunting the jewelry. You’d mentioned something to her earlier in the week about Emily cancelling a date, perhaps the grey haired woman wasn’t the only one with green in her eyes.

“Anway,” Heather interrupted with a huff, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh, right.” Emily snapped out of it, glancing up towards her with a smile, “what’s up?”

“Have you heard of an Officer Patterson, out of DC Metro?”

“I—uh..” Emily nearly tensed, briefly remembering the very early phone call in your kitchen a few months prior, “heard of him…”

“He was the one that arrested my son.”

“You.. know about that?”

Heather chuckled, “Jordan’s an idiot, neither he nor his friends can keep a secret very long.” She sighed, “I did a look through the papers, this guy’s a prick. I thought he was just preying on the rich and somewhat famous but he does the same shit with people who can’t afford a good attorney. I want his badge.”

“Don’t you have a lot more power than I do when it comes to that kind of stuff?”

“Potentially.” She took a swig of her drink, “I just figured you might have some contacts at Metro PD who had their own stories or opinions, I know the blue doesn’t like to turn on their own but there has to be a reason this guy’s still a rookie after all these years. Thought you might be able to pull his jacket, take a look through it?”

“You really don’t let people fuck with your family, huh?” Emily asked and Heather nearly snorted.

“Jordan deserved what he got,” she laughed, “he’s damn lucky he wasn’t behind the wheel of a car. I don’t want his arrest expunged or shoved under the rug; I could have done that myself. But I do want to look into this Patterson and see what can be done about it.”

“I’ve got a couple of friends and Metro, and I can see what I can pull up from my database.”

“Thank you.” Heather smiled warmly, her eyes darting up when there was a knock on the doorframe.

“Bad news, I’ve gotta take one of Jordan’s friends in.” Rob said.

“Oh god, what now?”

“They tried to use the diving board without wiping the slush off.” He explained and Heather groaned.

“For fuck’s sake.” She drained her drink, “let me guess, slipped and broke something?”

“Ankle.” Rob replied, then glanced towards their guest, “Emily the bag on the kitchen island is for you, wouldn’t want you to forget it.”

“Oh, thank you so much.”

Rob disappeared from the doorway as Emily finished her drink, following Heather’s lead to standing and moving from the office down the stairs.

“Thank you for coming, and for now I’d like if this could be kept as off the record as possible.”

“Of course.” Emily nodded with a smile as she accepted the bag that definitely had more than one portion of food in it before finally making her way out of the house.

**

When the weekend rolled around you and Emily ended up swapping your date night over to Friday instead, and Emily was honestly glad that you did. She got a call halfway through her work day that a pipe had burst in the basement of her apartment, no water would be available for the next twenty four hours. There had been yet another surprise snowfall and even though it wasn’t that big the roads were terrible and the last thing you wanted was to drive all the way home after work.

This was why it was lucky Emily still had her standing reservation at The Waldorf.

You caught up a bit over dinner and drinks, Emily curious to know more about how often you were in close quarters with the President and First Lady. You rattled on about a couple of things, shared the stories you knew you could, flashed your fresh manicure and shared some gossip you’d gotten from Claire that afternoon. In turn Emily delved a little bit into how her week had been now that she’d finally caught up on paperwork, she had stories about the team she’d never even thought of telling you, the entire evening seeming a little more casual and open than any prior. However that didn’t change the circumstances when you got upstairs, clothes quickly falling to the floor as you dropped onto the bed and became a mess of sweaty tangled limbs.

Emily lay half wrapped around you, her head on your chest as you were propped up on the pillows, a mid nineties rom com playing on the late night television. Your hand was gently playing with her hair, soothingly scratching at her scalp as you did so.

“You okay?” You asked, pressing a gentle kiss to her head.

“Yeah.” Her lips brushed against your collarbone before a tiny yawn escaped them, “it’s just been a long week.”

“Want me to dig into Bailey or anyone?”

“No.” She laughed, “I mean, yeah he’s being a total ass about the last case, but it’ll blow over.”

“Okay.” Your hand trailed up and down her back softly before returning to play with her hair.

“Thank you though.”

“Anytime.” You replied, leaving another kiss on the top of her head.

The next morning you were gone before she woke up, you’d warned her about that the night before, you had brunch plans with Tony and if you bailed on them again you had no doubt he would track your location and show up wherever you were. It did give her the chance to sleep in far later than she thought she would, it was almost noon by the time her eyes opened. She wasn’t used to that, usually have to set an alarm in hotels to make sure housekeeping wasn’t trying to kick her out already.

She ordered room service for breakfast, including a couple of extra meals for the rest of the day and took a very long, luxurious shower. Picking at the leftovers of her first meal while she was wrapped in the cozy warm hotel robe she let the tv play some mindless shows for a couple of hours before she finally gained the energy to start the trek home.

Downstairs she passed off her valet ticket at the concierge and started to flip through some brochures and ads while she waited.

“Anything I can help you with ma’am?” A clerk asked her.

“Uh…” her eyes lingered on the resort in Monarch Beach, the wheels turning in her brain, though that location would be far too chilly to really enjoy this time of year. “You guys have properties all around the world, right?”

“We sure do.” They replied with a bright smile, turning to grab a couple of binders, “thinking about a last minute Christmas getaway? We’ve got quite a few resorts that specialize in the festivities, lots of stuff for the family and kids to take part in.”

“Oh, no.” She shook her head, “not Christmas, definitely no kids, but definitely somewhere warm. Probably tropical, super fancy… a little exclusive… you got anything like that?”

They grinned across at her, pulling out a smaller binder, “I think you’ll find our private resort in the Maldives right up your alley.”

____________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovak @Soverign @v3nusxsky @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @scarletwitcher97 @asolitaryrose3 @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice @d33pd3sire-blog @daffodil-heart @maximoffcarter @i-lovefandom @chimnlex @moonlightjxuregui @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts @just-moondust @idkifimasub @gaydragonwitch @dowsedwithbleach @divergentalwaysandforever-blog

[bittersnsweetz]

ohhh my god i just realised why i love narumitsu so much, despite the obvious (mutual pining, slow burn, one-sided enemies, to friends, to distant friends, to close friends, to lovers all that good stuff)

its BECAUSE they have a shared emotional journey that is so narratively satisfying to me that as im typing this im barely able to contain my stimming

phoenix defends miles, so convinced he can save him and is almost blinded by that fact because he knows edgeworth as so good and so pure and he totally definitely absolutely would never willingly hurt anybody and then he ghosts him for a year which phoenix obviously interprets as yet another person abandoning him, leaving phoenix to pick up the pieces, and that whole time phoenix is beating himself up because wow this is just like when he put all his love on the line for dahlia and it turns out she was just using him this whole time and the absolute mess of emotions that arises when edgeworth comes back, alive, with no apology whatsoever.

and then two years later phoenix loses his job and edegworth is trying so hard to help and be there for him while also juggling his prosecutor job and the challenges that arise from adjusting to a new justice-driven mindset, but phoenix is already closing himself off and refusing to talk about it because hes stingy and secretive and edgeworth has seen the stingy in passing but never to this extent, where he can tell that phoenix NEEDS someone but apparently that someone isnt going to be him. and he's on call with him one night and he hears trucy for the first time and hes mortified because so many complicated emotions and questions arise from that alone: "wright are you sane" "wright are you seeing someone" "wright why didnt you tell me about this so i could help you" and i do think edgeworth gets overwhelmed by all this at once, the secrecy, the daughter, the friend who visits phoenix every now and again, the lack of healthy communication. and suddenly everything that he thought theyve worked so hard to build together has come crashing down and theres nothing phoenix will let him do to help

and its the shared parallel of the initial proposal to help "let me defend you"/"let me be there for you" being completely rejected and the repeated efforts to do so being met with a sudden shift (prosecutor miles edgeworth chooses death/i have a daughter and a new friend who helps me now) and how its so difficult for the both of them to realise at the time that its for their sake that they're doing it, that neither of them are doing this to hurt the other intentionally (although for phoenix i definitely think theres spite involved, but not to the degree to which edgeworth ends up experiencing what he does emotionally), and the idealisation that gets completely shattered by reality

just. UGH. the full circle that is them, after everything is said and done, finding closure in each other again, however non-linear that journey is, and, this is important, CHOOSING to still stay with the other through anything and everything that comes to pass, and truly SEEING the other behind their professional masks. Seeing them entirely and not just the attractive parts. im rabid.

[m0ri4rtyssh1fting]

REPROGRAM YOUR MINDSET TO SHIFT

Before we start, hi, I'm Elisabeth and this is my blog about shifting. You will find my contents here.

I often see many shifters struggle in their shifting journey even just believing in what they are trying to achieve. And I know that you too, at least once in your journey have doubted what you were doing and cried over your apparent "inability". These types of thoughts, however silly, act as blocks in our journey, which make our approach to shifting much more difficult.

We often see these limiting thoughts in the comments or posts of our community, such as "I can't shift, ugh!" or "please tell me it's not just an inside joke".

It's obvious that it's not, and it's normal to have doubts about your own journey, but it's not right to cast them on others. I often see people who are insecure about shifting and feel sorry for themselves and seek constant reassurance. But they aren't the ones that will help you. Good work on your mindset, however, could be very useful for your journey.

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing because it's easier, start reprogramming your mindset to have a good shifting journey.

So here is a guide on how to reprogram your mindset to shift. I recommend it to all beginners and to anyone who believes they have a mental block that prevents them from shifting.

In any case, my personal advices for reprogramming your mindset are:

find your limiting thoughts, the ones you want to replace;

find out about the topics you understand least. Information is always useful for establishing concepts;

repeat positive affirmations about your journey and abilities (especially early in the morning and before going to sleep);

write positive affirmations in a notebook or phone notes:

do not contradict your positive affirmations (even in your head);

ask questions to your favorite shifters;

work on your confidence;

be part of a healthy community and avoid the type of negative content you are trying to eliminate from your journey;

most important of all is to commit to your own journey, because it's the direct demonstration of what you believe in.

If you need it, take a short break to create your strong and positive mindset. Sometimes it can be important to admit to yourself that you need a break.

I hope this post was helpful, good luck shifters!

[bandgie]

Language Barrier - SKZ

who I think is mtl willing to learn a new language/communicate with someone despite a language barrier platonic or romantic? I'll leave that up to you...

most

bangchan - so obvious he's on the top. loves talking to people with different experiences and points of perspectives. might be difficult at first, but Chris strikes me as the type to never give up, especially if he's interested in you. he'll also encourage you to learn his native language, but he doesn't mind just learning yours

changbin - similar to Chris, but I think Bin is super talkative. just wants to connect with everyone and anyone, loves talking and hearing people talk. As long as you're respectful, he'll even show you some things in his culture. he loves expressing his love for his country

felix - has to be in the top 3, bro loves learning languages in his spare time. I think it's so cute when he goes to different countries for tour and learns phrases of the language there. he's a sweetheart, and would love if you showed him the things your culture has to offer. teach him, show him, ugh! he loves learning new things (it's his first life)

seungmin - he'll absolutely learn some key words, but full on sentences is difficult. if he's super into you and really thinks you both click, he'll devote time to learn your language/culture. He would love if you learned his in return. very much of a give and take relationship imo. if you're putting in effort, he will too.

i.n - good memory, but lacks the motivation. I feel like he might remember random ass words rather than the important ones. it's kinda cute. I do, however, think he can be encouraged if he likes talking with you. kind of like seungmin, it would really help if you learned his language/culture too. it shows that you care just as much as he does.

hyunjin - I feel like he can be forgetful but if he likes talking with you, he'll make sure to remember. he would much rather explore your culture and learn the language that way (he would love study sessions with you rather than online) bro could sit in silence with you and be totally fine with that. watch him paint, draw, etc. he loves quality time over talking anyway

han - he mostly just kinda catches on from what you say and might do a little research on the side, but nothing more. once again, he needs to be into you, like really into you to learn even the simplest of expressions. will absolutely forget the words he learned the very next day, but you just have to have patience with him

lee know - he's just super fucking nervous. can be a little self conscious but he'll never tell you that. im not gonna lie, I feel like you need to put in more effort than him. he's such a scorpio ya know? he can be a little put off about it, but hearing you try to learn and fumble your words makes him wanna try. he'll come around on his own time, just have to be patient. totally the type to see a random item and say it in your native language and wait for your response. praise him a bit!!! even if he acts all shy or uncaring, he appreciates it

least

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Stray Kids View on Marriage

Okay, another requested one I will be doing of them. Let's take a look at what their thoughts are on Marriage. Okay, interesting cards here.

Bang Chan (2 of Wands/Detach) Well, sexual chemistry will be important lol He will want spark and fireworks, definitely does not want things to be stale. I just heard stale in the bedroom, yo this boy lol He doesn't want that. I love him for that, thanks for making me laugh here. He definitely wants things to be fun lol I see him as someone who will see things rationally and fairly in Marriage. He isn't the type that will get caught up in emotions too much. He will be objective in the matters of Marriage. I see him being good at being able to carpmentalize things in Marriage. He will also be good at making decisions and will be good at including his partner. He would want both to take part in the decision making. But I will say he may not be too emotionally available as a husband, which kind of surprises me.

Lee Know (Queen of Pentacles rv/Manifest rv) Umm, both of these came reversed, which I never like. Yeah, not liking these cards. This gives me he doesn't really want to get married to be honest. Queen of Pentacles rv is giving me greedy and selfish vibes here and the manifest card reminds me of the magician, with it reversed, it gives me master manipulator. But I can also see this as this is not something he is trying to manifest in his life. This isn't something he wants right now. I can also see the QOP's rv, as him not really having all that he needs career wise and financially, so he doesn't really want Marriage yet, because of that.

Changbin (Queen of Swords/Opportunity Beckons) Now, this could mean there is someone he has in mind and when the right opportunity comes, he will take it, or he is more intellectual when it comes to his ideas on Marriage. He isn't they type to just jump into it. He is pretty cautious about it. He seems like the type that is hard to get to know on a deeper and emotional level. He may also want someone who is that way too. I think it may be hard to tie this boy down. He gives me he is not that emotional. A very rational and logical person when it comes to Marriage and there will be a lot of mystery around him.

Hyunjin (Knight of Cups=/Daydreams and Decisions) This boy is so in his head all the time and so emotional. Does he know what reality is? So, the Knight of Cups was in a challenged position. He can be open emotionally, very charming, very loving, a giver, all about romance, but he could struggle to show it at times, may be distant at times. It is like he likes the idea of Marriage, has thoughts about it, but won't really go for it, or take action on it. It will be hard for him to make decisions. I got very wishy-washy energy. A lot of uncertainty around him regarding Marriage. I got so confused in this boy's energy. Like I can barely think clearly to even explain what he wants. His energy is always difficult to work with ugh

Han (The Devil/Open Up) This boy's energy is not great either. The Devil card is not a great card to get here. I got attachment issues, toxic tendencies. Egotistical, narcissist is what I got too. He struggles to allow himself to open up and be vulnerable. Bruh the fuck is this energy he has, ugh I hate it, once again the sickness feeling coming over me. I can also barely think. This dude does not pass the vibe check for me at all. So, he may look at Marriage in a toxic way, very attached and possessive. He may keep his partner on lock.

Felix (King of Wands/10 of Cups) Felix please save me lol Feeling much better here, thank you. I say he is very determined to get his happily ever after. I say he wants a family, that happily ever after, lots of love and happiness. Marriage may be a big goal for him. A happy family life may be something he wants. He is also a very passionate guy, can be sexual, a bit dominant. I say on the outside he comes of very loving and sweet, and he is, but he also has this daring, adventurous side to him as well. He will be a fun and an exciting husband. I see him planning out a lot of fun adventures for his spouse. He will also be an inspiring and creative husband to his partner. He will bring the passion and love to his Marriage, and I see him wanting kids.

Seungmin (7 of Cups/Reaching Out) Not sure he wants Marriage right now. He seems to be undecided and has many options to choose from. He may struggle to be a team with his partner, to work with his partner, or even seek help from his partner in Marriage. He may even be the cheating type here. He seems confused when it comes to Marriage. Not sure he cares for it, or wants it right now. I am getting, he is like I have so many options, why think of marriage.

I.N (3 of Pentacles/Base Chakra) He needs to be very grounded and stable to get Married. His partner may also need to be stable and grounded as well. He would want to work as a team with his partner, collaboration will be important. He is all about working together for a common goal. He wouldn't be the type of partner that makes all the money and provides for his partner. He wants them both to play a part and both help build their future together. He will need to have all his needs met, financial stability being one of them, to be able to get married. Like he needs a solid foundation. He may need to have all these things set in place before marrying, he won't do it spontaneously. He might even want them to live together and have a house before getting Married.

Okay, some were cute, some were bad, some in between, that is usually how this group works for me lol

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

kicking my legs like the focus of The Metaphor Of All This Is Most Important throughout things & that like nobody's powers are solely "what would be an epic power" rather than "what's the way someone's personality / tendencies / interests / strengths might be made into this Exceptional, Distinctive Thing That They Do that 'serves a purpose'" & like it's so neat the way the idea of Seeing The Future is made to work a certain way such that other characters & the plot can interact with it more readily than it all being inside bruno's head; that (at least in what we see, no issue with having the best of both worlds & hc'ing that he can have visions Only He sees / that occur spontaneously) not only can other people see them if present but the "you're seeing exactly what i am," i.e. he has to Look At It as this external visual phenomenon too & could miss something just by it being outside his field of vision lol....but also the way that of course this means like, Like Mirabel in all those ways they're so so similar & that's entirely relevant, he's also having to Observe & Interpret through his own perspective, from literal vantage point to personal interpretation of the info

(oh & also like emphatically that i interpret that his vision re: mirabel wasn't actually open ended or showing two Possibilities, it was just Different for being That jam packed lol & everything he ever sees Will happen, it was just like yes mirabel will be connected to the house being unbroken, breaking, whole again, yes mirabel will Embrace Her & it's abuela but also, & more immediately, isabela lol, had to be Both)

also it's so fun like The Sands Of Time being made into this way the visions Display for him (and just are very fun & dramatic. bruno's theatricality....his real gift is Acting Aheheh like screamm & that is so Good & what it says that nobody brought it up about him ever like iiii'm) & that even then beyond that there can be this plot point of mirabel able to Find A Vision b/c they Also form into tl;dr tablets made out of the magic affected sand which, in being a tl;dr are all the more Open Ended in Interpretation, which feels entirely relevant to Themes & everything lol....that there's all this Green Glowiness that's "ominous" but it's like nah that's just how it is? whaddaya gonna do? it's just green & glowy? (again relevant to themes like....what's the problem w/things about bruno's being disabled being associated with his Bad Vibes lol. it's just green. that's just how it is) & the design too to have Just His Irises glow is sooo good & cool & excellent it's all such a slay. & that everything Looks Neat while also like allowing for the way bruno's gift works to weave into the plot rather than like, oh he can just have one about whatever you want to see whenever, but the only way they're conveyed is what He Alone can directly see & interpret & tell you about himself....ugh just all super impressive

but actually what i was thinking of here was The Ritual to have visions....like first of all having there be that ritual & the Sand & the need for a Big Open Space helps Getting A Vision be a plot point more involved than "just find him & ask him" as the Sole requirement, without a reason to already bring another family member into it, already venture outside the walls Once (although idk like again the Metaphor of just operating "behind the scenes" in some hidden & unfancy way is more important than the Practical Details but like, i can imagine maybe Temporarily hiding away in the walls was something he even already did before disappearing; that maybe he'd kind of built up having Stuff hidden back there before he did too; that also maybe yeah sometimes he did sneak out of the walls or even out of the house entirely, but Maybe He Didn't, you can really get creative making things work. but also like seems like it'd be difficult to keep candles & matches on hand without sneaking out. But Also i don't think it's that important unless you Want to work that kind of question into a plotline) where was i in all this....The Ritual. it's also neat how Different it is, to have any kind of "extra" process & materials in using his gift. like that the one other similar case is julieta not being able to Heal With Food without the food, which presumably she always has a hand in making....that again the Metaphor matters, & the granular practical details Can matter to a story if you write it to be so lol, not really having to get into it in encanto's canon plot

anyway & it's very Magical in the way it works with the materials & ritual beforehand & like similarly to doing it in a Vision Cave & the hallway of Visuals that seem to include like "instructions" on how to do the ritual? i can remember it seems to show bruno with a flame in one Panel & with the green tablet in another, & there sure is the question of like "if he has to do this ritual to even use this gift, how did he figure out how to do it?" like & i'm inferring that one potential explanation to read into there is "see, the walls told him" like another thing to Observe & Interpret....& then i was really interested like Ah, & that bruno's gift in particular has this "extra" ritual attached to it, not even Just "oh i need sand to see visions" maybe similar to julieta needing ingredients & cooking tools lol, she doesn't seem to have anything Special beyond her involvement then that is like "okay, using my gift Now" or anything, while then of course that bruno has like Patterns / Rituals that he has to do before / in order to do [xyz], like that he apparently couldn't verbally respond to mirabel while doing that particular pattern of rituals / until after he was done with sections of them that allow him to Move Through That Space. & so My Interpretation becomes like, connecting the ritual to use his gift with whatever other rituals he created that could be considered ocd, like well makes a fuckton of sense with him being especially someone with Lack Of Control, his entire gift would make him aware of the inability to Control The Future, once he sees it It's Happening Babey even if there's nonzero self fulfilling aspect (though evidently it's never wholly / exclusively that), plus of course just like. argh. the parallels of people pushing the narrative like "you Can control xyz" when not getting what they want, bruno as the Messenger of undesired futures basically Caused them, bruno as the exister of disabled is Causing that, just do things right and Become As You Ought To Be....the direct & indirect & intended & unintended feedback over [umm this isn't what people like or want or value] making a feedback loop in fact lol of feeling all that pressure in having no control but internalizing that well i guess you Should, try harder, might be a theme in this story across the board but that ofc the noticeably disabled (& potentially queer) family member Family Weirdo ends up especially "the problem" & thus scapegoated, like mirabel

tangents out here....anyway so that's me then thinking about like, the idea like "what if bruno doesn't Need the ritual" like but what if that's considered in the same context as you would "bruno didn't Need to finish holding his breath & knocking before Responding To Mirabel as he moves along the wall hallway" like, what does that "need" mean there. if he'd be stuck / unable to move along that path without debilitating distress if he didn't do these rituals? why not say that then yeah he "needed" to do them. uno reverse like nobody "needs" to make him stop it, even in a "for his own good" sentiment like i wouldn't agree with that but also You wouldn't drop dead either then would you lol. maybe bruno can make spackle without Needing to be jorge but like, in what way is that really meaningful; if being (&/or acting as) hernando helps him secretly be helping fix casita, if having Weird Hobbies & Weird Rat Friends (shoutout to affinity with animals / being good at socializing with them even without that or acting being made your gift lol. more neurodivergerrrr things....) &c &c helps him live alone in mostly survival mode but also trying to thrive / enjoy things how he can, in what way is it important to be like oh he didn't Need to do this. or that even the idea he didn't "need" to leave like, you can Decide that b/c this isn't real lol but that If He Felt That He Did, boom there's enough of a problem right there, what does it matter if anyone else is like "well, surely you didn't" like

anyway so that is to say just applying the same idea to his gift ritual basically like, presumably even if someone else had the sand & big open space & did the ritual & Tried to see the future, they couldn't, only bruno can, with his Individual Idiosyncratic Gift. & it makes sense if like, bruno already being Othered even by 5 yrs old & in this sort of extra chaotic existence to a degree lol (& like what 5 yr old ever is experiencing a world of Being In Control in the first place) could have that tendency to create his own rules & rituals & patterns for Doing Things The Right Way to seek any further measure of control, makes sense if this would Manifest in his personalized gift involving a ritual. like how i imagine his Seeing The Future is tied to who he personally is too, being in a position / having the perspective to just Observe & Interpret & Express certain things in a way others aren't, same as mirabel was even without that being her gift, kind of a reverse on bruno being good with animals without that being his gift but it being antonio's (or arguably his real gift being acting, vs camilo perhaps having the theatrical / acting tendencies put into into his official Gift lol) like. that yeah maybe if the ingredients of sand + space + bruno were there, Theoretically he could deliberately have a vision, but like. that if the ritual is interpreted as like oh it's Just for focus, grounding, &c it's like hmm well could still say he Needs to do it & the vision Can't be done without it b/c it's like, how could Bruno do it if he Needs to be grounded & focused or w/e other mental effect (since ofc we can see other ppl's emotions can affect their gifts, in addition to the entire The Magic Depends On The Family Depends On Their Emotions / Relationships angle) but doesn't have / execute a ritual for that. To Me i am thinking of it in terms of how his other rituals would be framed as Disabling even if it's like, well, if they make him more Able to do [xyz] actually? at all, &/or without suffering or hurting that would be prohibitive going forward & ever doing it again? akin to like "ah bruno didn't Need to hop over cracks to cross that section of floor" like yeah he wouldn't have Instantly Died. yeah Someone Else would've just walked across with no particular method to it. but if Nobody Else is doing these visions, if it's not really very meaningful to be like "what can bruno Live Without while doing this"....if he merely(tm) needs the ritual for Grounding or what have you, & if this is equivalent to his being disabled & how rituals help him move through his life & do whatever other things, then like sure isn't it more relevant to say he Needs it vs "this means he Doesn't Really need it." i'm thinking of it in terms of like, in turn not Needing to whittle down his other rituals even if they're "weird," no Need to be like oh he Needs to give up his rats now / stop treating them like friends simply b/c he doesn't Need them, like, what is this binary lol. not out here in full everything life & death world, is another pertinent point....plus again like "that ritual is Depicted in that hallway" & also that like, does the sand becoming glass Need that fire? does it Need it b/c there Needs to be that ritual b/c this is bruno's gift & b/c bruno has these other rituals? sure.

all not to say like oh don't think anyone could/would/should play around w/the ideas of the parameters & Rules of his gift, or this interpretation, or anything else. just sure immediately thinking of it in terms of Rules & Rituals bruno has in any other aspects of his life & this also being easily seen as "ugh do you Have to do that (the person presumes No)" & that the "ideal" way of doing things would involve being Peak Normal. & the limits of how relevant it is to be like "oh [person] is only this way b/c of their experiences" like yeah many such cases, Zero cases of "wow, this person has had No experiences. thus they are their pure & ideal self", meanwhile like his ass autistic & queer & Theatrical & so on & this isn't going away, being a family Weirdo is just gonna be part of the way that he is. again thank god that yknow even as it's like, needing a bit of turnaround from mirabel being like "i too feel this is totally out of control so all i can do is try to shift this onto the preexisting scapegoat, it's bruno's vision" to being like oh shit it's bruno himself, & finding him bemusing & weird & like yeah don't think isolation (or ramped up survival mode) ever really makes anyone more of what is considered "normal," but doing what you gotta do, Need to do some might say, & to what Harm especially if not doing it would've hurt more? the Harm of "i'm gonna bully the shit out of them for it :(" not an acceptable answer lol

anyway love that afterwards like mirabel can still a whole 5 sec later be like yeah you're weird but obvi you're cool. & antonio not even being fazed by the [you're weird] part like rather than that This Is The Way That He Is. touching on it in the end like Jorge Is Here & everyone is thumbs up & smiling genuinely & going about their business like thank god lol we did not leave off on some kind of promise that bruno is Becoming More Normal / forcing him to in whatever ways, such as exerting pressure or shame or what have you, is underway....bit antithetical to [you see the consequences of how he was treated] if he has to Fix Himself to be accepted now lol versus everyone's Weirdness & Vulnerability Needing to be welcomed & protected rather than pushed away. & the necessary shift for him being like, same as how mirable Needed to meet bruno & talk to him & see what the family had already done to its last scapegoat & have that context to understand like, yeah, i'm doing this For Everyone, not just abuela or the miracle or me, which makes it more doable even (in addition to having this fellow scapegoat's understanding & full support, bruno being so Optimistic about mirabel's involvement) while bruno likewise is like oh i couldn't do this for Just Myself, but if i'm protecting my scapegoat niece i'm sprinting & tackling my mom b/c when it came to just me i was afraid of her rejection but when it came to acting on mirabel's behalf i'm raring to go & Taking It On & what a great little detail too that He didn't feel he Needed abuela's approval then. we've all been there (the scapegoating / Seeing The Worst / blame going so far it goes in the other direction. in my evil bitch era [angrily pressing buttons on the microwave] or being such a wretched sicko you'll tell off your mom & invite her to hate you 5ever so this kid doesn't experience that b/c like what else is new for you? if you'll be hated either way may as well consider other things in your agency, in for a dime in for a dollar, & so on)

just going on & on but like also Many Thoughts bruno is such a character what a gift. that the peak relevance of the crucial role of Scapegoat being the distillation of that "is it successfully a refuge / protection if vulnerability is rejected rather than actually made safer?" matter & being able to See problems others can't, See them ahead of time literally or more figuratively lol, be willing to Say them even when others don't wanna hear it, b/c they feel they're keeping their head above water even if you don't & are liable to thus point things out or rock the boat like Something's Wrong, Something Has To Be Done, Something Has To Change, in all the various ways that can be expressed....that it's like, so clear on Yeah disability (& queerness) means someone's probably all the less adequately supported, meaning they're seen as "a problem" / "a disruption" or w/e else, meaning they're scapegoated &/or ostracized, while ofc what would support them would improve things for everyone, even if also a change to theoretically benefit Just Them would be reason enough, but that's still in theory lol like more access / support / options is more of that For Any/Everyone....again that they don't "assure" us bruno will Become More Normal Now, that this Meeting & Mutual Understanding Of The Scapegoats is this fundamentally crucial turning point for Everything, certainly first & the most for those scapegoats themselves, Needing each other's support & understanding even if it's "ideally" seen as like ohh mirabel &/or bruno should've managed to figure out & resolve things All On Their Own. right back the ritual thing like, did they Need to?? they both Needed those changes / new info & contexts & motivations, & what does it matter to Want to whittle it down, No rituals, No support from others

& i'm just sooo. it's so great that bruno is so important & the movie holds you at gunpoint like no you Do gotta love him lol, you Need to. or that if you don't appreciate him / consider him important then you probably just don't really respond to the movie much lol given the Cruciality & the perspective of [the main character is being scapegoated as well & is very similar to bruno] like augh thinking of how even as mirabel like obviously as mirabel gives bruno a bit of a push & has that perspective & experiences to do so, it's not like "bruno is too much of a PUSSY but mirabel isn't & that's why bruno didn't break & reform the miracle" lol like. that They're The Same & just need each other still; mirabel was removing herself from the Family Goings On & even behind a wall during antonio's ceremony (& afterwards, Going Unnoticed & removing herself from things, before sort of "having a vision" (i'm presuming casita like was kind of putting on a show there just for mirabel to Convey Info to just her)) & couldn't emerge for her own sake, but only b/c antonio needed her while in the same place she was in & knowing she understands; so too can bruno emerge from hiding not for his own sake but uh oh mirabel's in the same position & needs & is asking for his help b/c she knows he understands. that, oh you know, in the end after mirabel's Best Efforts including full honesty direct confrontation failed, she too was like well i guess i gotta leave after only hurting my family....that even together they can only do so much, the family can't operate differently if the other members aren't like "oh shit yeah okay" & operate differently in turn, no real hypothetical Perfect Way To Do Things that will guarantee that others will do things differently either, relevant too to getting basic respect as a disabled person or anyone else Othered / made more vulnerable/unsupported

finally think i'm running a bit out of Writing These Words steam lol, truly my main point was "what does it mean to speculate he doesn't 'need' the ritual in the context of this disabled character & comparing it to his Other rituals" but there's so much to say like waugh what a movie & what a character fr like well also obviously i love him like utterly delighted. what especial addendums did i think of Just Now....oh for one thing like the autistic moment of like a few First Time Reactions having the same "wow rude / why would ou say that" response of bewilderment to "you're very sweaty" like Shut Up i immediately understand. it's not a nonsequitur, it's not an insult, it's matter of fact Relevant Info being shared, he's barely taller than mirabel & subsisting on little food & holding her up with one hand & if she's Very Sweaty, that is a pertinent problem re: holding her up lol, sure it's a bit Spontaneous to share this but so what. sue him. anyway that already watching it myself i was like oh he's autistic Of Course, & could break down some reasons but truly tl;dr b/c one understands them perfectly right off the bat lol / thee recognition....also theee genderrr in his surely personality & experience related Shrounded Style, god i wish that were me, i always wish it were me [not being seen at all], ever since i was a child i knew even if there was a house i theoretically belonged to i would want to move about secret passages undetected (true)

also it's kind of fun how much it's like hmm can't really gauge this super easily like queer Coding? b/c for one thing it's like, what is the supposed normative standard for what would be liably categorized "cishet man"....all around like, being a bit theatrical / emotionally expressive & such is just kind of an Across The Board thing to a degree, though certainly arguably ramped up for bruno. naturally the That's Probably Not Normative is him being unmarried / no kids when forty (& beyond, but like, the living in the walls a Would Be hindrance there. but idk maybe he had secret relationships. cinderellaing it out here, every night i have to leave & return somewhere with my rats) so you know. also like yeah he's queer b/c a) utter relevance to the Themes & his situation & b) he deserves it & c) we deserve it & d) why not. uh oh "bruno doesn't Need to be queer" lmaooo like what if it's just the way that he is. what if you could force people into doing the normative things but you don't Need to actually & it's better for everyone that you don't....

whew waugh & like great character to be able to Point To like tfw scapegoating, tfw outcast from a group such as a family (including if you left it b/c you thought / felt you Had To, perhaps b/c otherwise what unbearable) (what if it was "merely" "unbearable" for bruno to try to operate wholly without his rituals or rules Ever....), tfw the different ways Clearly A Disabled Character manifest, tfw the theatricality, tfw what a Range he has as a character, [withdrawn, avoidant, nervous] while also ["obtrusive," bold, spontaneous] Big Personality vs Big Trauma representation, hang on tfw not just the rats affinity but the coatis that immediately took to him too lol, tfw tfw aaahh just Scream at the like obviously deliberate "being the Weirdo involves this being a disabled family member" like argh & that this person is this Observer & Truth Teller & his experiences with that parallel to mirabel's role & experiences even as she can't literally see What Will Happen, even as bruno also still has to Observe & Interpret too rather than like having the revelation of The Correct Insight or anything. whew just like thank fuck too that the experience of this movie is is so emphatically like yes this is bruno & we will all be killing for him. for the autistic ocd Family Weirdo. where like how much does it matter if you go "bruno Must think of these roles as personas he Acts & not people he is" or "bruno Must be cishet & now that he's accepted he can get more Normal re: gender/sexuality as well as disability"....also the little possible clues ahead of time about True Things about bruno even before meeting him, seeing his silhouette being shorter than julieta & pepa's, probably not 7ft tall, that that family tree in casita has the like Heart design in the branches around the triplets, not like his sisters directly expressed that they Did/Do Not Love Him or anything lol but you know. oh also that there's just so direct an example of "bruno being disabled is completely relevant to how he & his gift are interpreted, though other aspects of him / his gift are relevant to how his being disabled is interpreted too" in that like he didn't do anything to Ruin pepa's wedding save have his intention & meaning not just completely misinterpreted but then the presumption of "b/c we don't understand what he meant it must have been Fucking With Us On Purpose" a la people like "why would anyone say anything like that" about his first dialogue being to inform mirabel she's very sweaty, I Don't Get It, so it must be that he's causing chaos / being insulting out of sicko / otherwise Wrong/Bad motivation. whereas like no i get it he's talking about issues re: him holding her up. Autistic autistic autistic, Decided what you meant & there's no chance to correct this & it's this huge deal & you were trying to do something completely different & like, supportive & considerate & nice & like augh kill me. many such cases of i think about it like ah yes extremely relate....& then it's just like such a surprise like oh what do you mean this funny little guy queer disabled outcast Weirdo is a crucial character who the material clearly utterly sympathizes with (not that it doesn't all the characters. also i like all the characters wheeee) but like You have to sympathize & understand too & everyone loves this little guy yaaaay. so bizarre like oh what do you mean the Relatable Fun Weirdo isn't a peripheral running joke of no importance if not dismissiveness / disdain???

again Whew & reminding myself "you can make other untagged long text posts" in case i even think of other things i want to throw down. many thoughts, never any one true comprehensive post of them all

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Backstage Story Translation - Sakyo Furuichi SSR - Today’s Star: Nine - Part 3

nine is from stranger on the way to paradise! you can read a translation of its event story on yaycupcake ( + the page for the play itself)

Izumi: (It all starts in the laboratory’s culture fluids.)

Izumi: (In the pitch black darkness, amidst the sounds of water, people talking and other difficult to discern sounds can be heard.)

Nine (Sakyo): “Why do I know… what this sound is…”

???: << Nine… Nine… >>

Nine: “A woman…?”

Nine: “Even though I don’t know this voice, it’s nostalgic and gentle…”

Izumi: (As he tries to hold onto the voice that keeps him from awakening, Nine is forcibly pulled from his slumber.)

[Nine’s eyes open]

Nine: “Ugh… It’s bright.”

Nine: “Are these… plants…?”

Dom (Banri): “They’re fake.”

Nine: “Fake?”

Dom: “They’re replicas based on ancient documentation.”

Dom: “Quite the lookers, aren’t they? One day you— your body, that is— will bring that beautiful greenery back to life.”

-

Izumi: (Nine spends day in and day out being experimented on. That day, the experiments were long and arduous, and he let out a sigh…)

Nine: “*sigh*…”

Nine: “All I’ve done today was fail. I don’t know what success they’re looking for. I’m just repeating the same failure. Yesterday, today, tomorrow too.”

Nine: “I’ve gotten used to both this pain and the suffering.”

Nine: “Even my emotions that didn’t exist in the first place have died.”

Nine: “The world outside the windows remains barren, with no greenery to be found. This scenery hasn’t changed for a long time now.”

Nine: “The only thing outside is this view of sand and rocks that stretches out as far as my eyes can see.”

[Flashback starts]

Nine: “Haah, haah…”

Dom: “A failure after all, huh.”

Dom: “I thought you’d be able to save us.”

Nine: “——”

[Flashback ends]

Nine: “If I had known the world was in such a state, I’d have never woken up.”

Nine: “A world in such a state isn’t even worth saving—”

-

Izumi: (In the pitch black darkness, Nine despairs as he realizes he has once again woken up in this world.)

Researcher A: “Ohh! A success.”

Researcher B: “This came from Nine’s genes.”

Dom: “Ten… No, she’s Zero.”

[Nine’s eyes open]

Izumi: (Upon hearing those words, Nine lifts his heavy eyelids.)

Izumi: (A red-haired girl sleeps in one of the other capsules…)

Zero (Taichi): “…”

Nine: “Ze… ro…?”

Dom: “You can tell? Well, I guess that makes sense.”

Dom: “Your genes were used to create her, so she’s like your daughter in a way.”

Nine: “Zero, Zero.”

Zero: “…”

Nine: “…”

Nine: “I don’t know about being father and child.”

Nine: “But I wonder… What color are her eyes? What does her voice sound like?”

Nine: “I want to look into her eyes. I want to hear her voice.”

Nine: “But please, please… Don’t wake up just yet.”

Nine: “Zero. My sweet daughter that was born to save this world. You don’t have to know about it just yet.”

Nine: “… Sweet dreams, Zero.”

-

Sakyo: …

Izumi: …

Izumi: (Sakyo-san has been silent ever since we started watching the video, but he seems satisfied with the result.)

Izumi: … It’s a lovely story.

Izumi: Nine doesn’t know anything at first, but as he begins to understand the world and his mission, his expressions change.

Izumi: I especially liked your acting when Nine was talking to Zero, you really managed to express the complexity of both his adoration and despair.

Sakyo: I thought that was the most important part of the play.

Sakyo: I came up with an acting plan based on what Nanao had told me about focusing on the parts of the role I find most important.

Izumi: What were those parts, Sakyo-san?

Sakyo: That’d be the part where Nine realizes he too is a lone human.

Sakyo: Why would he get caught up in an explosion to protect Zero at the end of the story, when he worked so damn hard to fulfill the mission he was born to carry out?

Sakyo: I thought that this might have been because he acknowledged that Zero is his daughter.

Sakyo: I thought that only by being placed in the shoes of a father would Nine realize that, even though he is a created being, he’s a “human”.

Sakyo: I’m sure the reason why he protected Zero was because he loved her, and because he acted the way a human would.

Sakyo: That’s how I interpreted it, at least.

Izumi: (I can’t believe he thought about it so much… Sakyo-san really is amazing.)

Izumi: (But the reason he’s able to act this out must be because… Sakyo-san himself knows what that love is.)

Izumi: Sakyo-san, could I ask you to tell me more about that?

Sakyo: Heh… Can’t say no to that.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

[maspers]

Whether or not you can or should fight people based on the Element that best represents them:

Hydrogen: You can if you'd like and they'll totally fight you back if prompted but like why

Helium: They're so detached from everything you couldn't fight them if you wanted to. 

Lithium: Oh believe me they want to fight you but if you do you'll just feel bad for hurting them

Beryllium: They are dramatic and vaguely poisonous so you'd think fighting them would be a bad idea but trust us you really need to

Boron: You totally can and it's usually pretty easy but don't let your guard down because they're really good at last-second victories

Carbon: DON'T. Their defense is impeccable and their attacks are razor-sharp. You will be hurt. 

Nitrogen: Everyone wants to but nobody can figure out how

Oxygen: In most cases, you can and should. But in some cases you will sorely regret it and you can never tell which cases those are.

Fluorine: FETCH NO NOT EVER

Neon: You might need to, but they'll just laugh it off once it's over. 

Sodium: Please fight them before they get worse. You'll have a ton of fun too. As a side note, if you're fighting *alongside* them all you need to do is give them time to prep and they're the best ally you can ask for. 

Magnesium: You might not want to but you really should. Don't worry it'll be over quick. 

Aluminium: Nah. 

Silicon: Strike fast, strike hard, don't let them access the internet or call a Carbon for backup. 

Phosphorus: Do you like to gamble? It's basically a 1 in 3 chance of A) You could but it won't do much B) You can and should as soon as possible and C) DO NOT THEY WILL EAT YOU

Sulfur: You'll regret fighting them, but it needs to be done

Chlorine: Best not to unless you are truly prepared to combat their aura of doom. 

Argon: Good luck finding them in the first place, and even if you do find them it'll just be like Neon

Potassium: You should but it won't be as fun as fighting Sodium

Calcium: Why would you want to? They're busy contributing to society best not to bother them. 

Scandium: Ugh I suppose if you HAVE to

Titanium: Please do. You won't accomplish anything but at least you'll know you tried

Vanadium: It'll be difficult because they never shut up but once they run out of breath their fate is sealed

Chromium: You should fight them but watch out they have a good reputation so if you aren't careful everyone will hate you. 

Manganese: Please don't. Chances are they already feel like they've lost, so just pat them on the back and tell them it's gonna be okay. 

Iron: You shouldn't. You'll want to. You'll really want to. But they're too important and if you win everything will be ruined. 

Cobalt: Don't bother. They'll flee at the first sign of conflict and your victory will feel hollow. 

Nickel: YES FIGHT THEM AND TAKE THEIR MONEY

Copper: You should fight them, but don't destroy them too hard because defeat means friendship in their eyes and they're actually really really helpful in just about every context

Zinc: Why on earth would you they are precious babies who never do anything wrong and just want to help don't hurt them! 

Gallium: You probably shouldn't, seeing as they're always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

Germanium: You won't want to fight them because they seem like Silicons or Carbons but it's all an act you should totally fight them to make you look better. 

Arsenic: Don't fight them. Even if you think you've won they'll already have put things in motion to ruin your life

Selenium: You totally should if only to experience the bizarre disorienting feeling of not knowing who won

Bromine: You can, and you'll think it was a really bloody defeat but actually they'll be totally fine and you'll get a headache an hour or so later once you realize what happened

Krypton: Bold of you to assume you can even hurt a superhimbo

Rubidium: You'll hear about them and think they're worth fighting, but then you meet them and discover they aren't. Fight them anyway as punishment for wasting your time. 

Strontium: You can and should, they seem normal but are secretly a menace. 

Yttrium: Don't, they're way too weird and all their weird friends will join in. 

Zirconium: Fire a shot and then run for the hills, #totallyworththepain

Niobium: Don't, they've lost too much already

Molybdenum: Really don't. They'll punch your face in then go back to whatever project they were working on

Technetium: It's a bot. It's a freaking bot. Why are you trying to fight a bot? 

Ruthenium: I'm not sure they even know how to fight

Rhodium: They're like Chromium but genuinely harmless, so while you can fight them there won't be much point to it

Palladium: Why on earth would you fight them, they're hot AND reasonably sane! 

Silver: Yes, please. They start by throwing your arguments back in your face, and then turn nasty before trying to finish you off with memes. But since they're really predictable once you've fought one you've fought them all. 

Cadmium: Not worth the sick feeling you'll get afterwards. 

Indium: PLEASE fight them. They're really easy to deal with, but if you leave them alone too long they start screaming so you need to fight them regularly

Tin: You can totally fight them, they'll sit there and take it with minimal complaining, but don't push them over the edge unless you want to deal with someone even more ruthless than Carbon

Antimony: Don't, you're just giving them more blackmail material on you. 

Tellurium: They sit on a throne of lies, so really really don't fight them unless you're trying to protect Gold. 

Iodine: DON'T FIGHT THEM WE NEED THEM TO MEDIATE OTHER FIGHTS

Xenon: You'd think fighting them wouldn't be worth the effort because they lurk most of the time but if you start a meme war you'll summon them and it'll be like fighting an epic secret boss in a video game

Cesium: You should NOT. They will overwhelm you quickly and then continue to harass you at regular intervals

Barium: They're really boring but you can still fight them to kill time

Lanthanum: Go ahead

Cerium: You can fight them but it'll really take a while for them to really get going. 

Praseodymium: Heck yeah. There's always two of them but neither should be a problem because neither knows what they're talking about. 

Neodymium: Heck no. There's always two of them and they both fight dirty. 

Promethium: You should, they make for good practice

Samarium: Only fight them if you want a lot of attention. 

Europium: Ugh, no. They won't fight back, just repeat everything you say really loudly and in a sarcastic tone of voice. 

Gadolinium: You can try, but they're usually busy listening to music. 

Terbium: They're one of Yttrium's weird friends. The geeky one. 

Dysprosium: Frankly you should just reward them for being willing to fight for whatever bizarre argument they're making. Sure you could defeat them easy, but letting them live is so much funnier. 

Holmium: Go right ahead. They are loud and precise and need to be stopped

Erbium: One of Yttrium's weird friends. The mystical one with the Crystals.

Thulium: Sure. You probably already have. 

Ytterbium: One of Yttrium's weird friends. This one actually can fight so keep them distracted while you deal with the other weirdos

Lutetium: Pfffft don't bother nobody takes them seriously anyway. 

Hafnium: Do it and do it soon, because otherwise they shall surprise attack you

Tantalum: YES. THEY DESERVE EVERY PUNISHMENT EVER. 

Tungsten: They are very very good at fighting, but have flaws you can exploit. Which is good, because it will be necessary. 

Rhenium: You'll never get the chance. They'll fly in, pepper you with obnoxious memes, then go back to lurking. 

Osmium: They are older and wiser and know more than you and any attempts at fighting them will just lead to them giving you advice and helping you learn. But you should still fight them because… 

Iridium: ...when you attempt to fight an Osmium an Iridium will show up to defend them, and you NEED to fight those stuck-up prats. 

Platinum: Everything bad that people say about Gold is a lie, because they're true about Platinum instead. You must fight them. It will hurt a lot but they really need to be stopped. 

Gold: You will never fight them because you will be too busy protecting them. They are too pure for this world and deserve love and support, regardless of what people may say about them. 

Mercury: They are a writhing mass of insults and memes. Approach them with cold logic and only cold logic, otherwise you will die. 

Thallium: You won't realize that you really need to fight them until it's too late. 

Lead: They've been fought and defeated in the past so just let them go about their business fixing their mistakes. 

Bismuth: No don't, why would you even want to. They're like the most helpful people, and even if you did fight them they'd just outlast you with a patient smile. 

Polonium: I guarantee you've beaten a bunch of them before without realizing. If they argue back then you'll definitely die but they never do

Astatine: NO. NO. FETCH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN ACT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO. THEY WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE, AND EVERYTHING ELSE. JUST DON'T. 

Radon: It'll be hard because they seem untouchable but they are a cancer on society and must be dealt with posthaste. 

Francium: I mean you could but they'll totally destroy themselves if you give them a couple minutes so just wait it out. 

Radium: Idk I guess if you can if you want to but they're usually too busy reminiscing to notice

Actinium: Nah. They're just attention seekers. 

Thorium: Oh please like you could

Protactinium: You'll think they're an Actinium so you won't fight them, but if you did fight them it'd be very cathartic. 

Uranium: Do it, but hold back. They're loud and annoying but they're really just a kid who doesn't know better. 

Neptunium: No need, they're already playing damage control and dealing with everyone else. 

Plutonium: BEAT THEIR RACIST BUTT ASAP

Americium: You'll want to because of how loud they are, but don't mistake volume for anger. They're actually pretty chill and only get genuinely mad if there's already a flame war going on. 

Curium: Leave them to their science, they're busy. 

Berkelium: They're like cardboard. You could fight them but it won't mean anything. 

Californium: Please do, and bring me pictures. 

Einsteinium: You shouldn't. Because if you do it will be because they want you to and are recording your actions for future analysis. 

Fermium: You'll never need to because they only seek out and interact with people who like and agree with them

Mendelevium: They are social experts who know everything about everyone and would be very dangerous if they weren't completely stupid. OHKO them and then let them go back to their ineffective scheming

Nobelium: If you somehow manage to beat them everyone will love you for it, but that's never happened. 

Lawrencium: No need, they're busy spinning. Wheeee! 

Rutherfordium: You can and should, but be aware fighting them will reveal uncomfortable truths about yourself

Dubnium: In Soviet Russia, Dubnium fights you. You'll be fine. Probably. 

Seaborgium: DO IT. PLEASE. TAKE THEM DOWN A PEG. 

Bohrium: Hit them once to prove a point then let them go back to reading, because if you  interrupt them for more than a minute they will destroy you out of spite with their intellect. 

Hassium: If you want to, sure. 

Meitnerium: Don't. They've worked hard to get where they are today and don't have time for anyone's bullcrap, including yours. 

Darmstadtium: See Hassium, though make sure you don't lose because that would be REALLY embarrassing. 

Roentgenium: NO. They will target all your weaknesses and atomize you. 

Copernicium: Lolololol sure it'll be easy since they're in dreamworld half the time

Nihonium: You can, but only if you're willing to fight fair. They are always up for an honorable duel but the moment you try to fight dirty they will call you out and cut you down. 

Flerovium: Go right ahead if you like, no one will care either way

Moscovium: See Dubnium except they're more ruthless and cold so just fire a parting shot and back off

Livermorium: I actually don't really know what fighting them is like, but it's probably lame

Tennessine: DON'T. They will compose a song about you. A mean song. You will cry.

Oganesson: You totally can, but honestly that might be a bit cruel.

[jillapril]

+++ Analyzing Alicent - HotD S2Ep2 +++

Alright. Overall, I liked episode 2. Loved Rhaenyra in it and I am glad that I don’t feel the need to explain her actions the way I feel I have to do so with Alicent. It was a difficult episode for Alicent. My thoughts…

- Now we know for sure, she feels guilty for having sinned - for having had sex - and she fears the gods have sent her a punishment by killing her grandson.

- I felt a glimpse of relief when she closed the door, leaving Criston outside, as she was about to take a bath. She was acting cold towards him, kind of passive aggressive. No signs of tenderness. When he says that there is no absolution for what he has done, I guess she thinks the same about herself - but is still in a kind of denial.

- Daeron was mentioned. I don’t know what she thinks of him, I found her reaction rather weird. Like none at all. But she did not want Otto to go to Oldtown. Could be because she does not want Daeron to get involved into this mess now, too - though it seems inevitable. Or maybe she does not have any relationship to him at all and really just thinks taking care of Highgarden is more important. I just thought it was weird.

- However, what I didn’t get: Does she know, that Criston has sent Arryk to kill Rhaenyra?! Otto must have told her, as this was key to him arguing with Aegon and getting fired. So I suppose she must know?! If so, I found her reaction rather underwhelming. I mean it is not just the fact that Rhaenyra could really get murdered now, something Alicent was actually trying to avoid - it is also that her knight opposed her and the council by acting behind their back. How can she stay this calm?!

- Her trying to tell Otto about her sin… Like she was trying to have a friend within the Red Keep and just finding out - once again - that she has none. It is sad, yet I am baffled that she still even tries with Otto. However, I guess this also was a confirmation for her that there won’t be any absolution, in form of love or just empathy, for her either.

- Alicent not being able to comfort Aegon… She looked like she felt his pain. But she is so estranged from him, he has caused her so much trouble on various levels throughout the years - she did not know what to do. Though I totally get her difficulty with Aegon, I also think she’s no better here than Otto was with her a few minutes ago. The Hightowers obviously are all really afraid of dealing with emotions.

- Criston waiting for her on her bed. Ugh… I think this was provocative and him being there was not something they had agreed on. Also the way he stared at her - it was just a huge provocation, maybe a kind of revenge for her being cold towards him before. Like his gaze was telling her: You know it, I am in charge now. Her aggression was completely reasonable and I enjoyed that part.

- However - this resulting in her looking like it just really turns her on and thus having sex with him again… Well… that was the problematic part of the episode to me. To the casual viewer with a heteronormative perception, I believe this must look like her passion for Criston is just so huge, she cannot stay mad at him, she just wants him too much. Like she finds it hot that he deceived her, ordered Rhaenyra’s assassination, became more powerful, demanding her body now by just showing up in her chambers - yea, she just throws away any thoughts about sins and does it all even more passionately again… Really, I cannot even express how much I hate this. Can’t see any sort of sexual liberation or emancipation here, sorry. I mean, what are we to think of this? That deep down in her heart she truly enjoys being dominated by men? That she really feels passion for this guy who she knows behaves like a psychopath every now and then?! I still remember her horrified look when he killed Ser Beesbury in S1Ep9. And now she just finds it all so hot? I really, really hope this is not it and we are yet to find out what this was really all about.

- But, trying to make sense of it from my Rhaenicent-point-of-view - I guess one could still argue that she uses sex for keeping Cole in control. As Otto is about to go away again, Alicent is about to be even more alone than she is already. All that there is left is Cole and he just gained power, so she has to fight even harder to keep him at bay. Giving in to his sudden power rush. Kissing him. Making him feel like it must be real passion or even a kind of love there between them. She knows how hateful he behaved after Rhaenyra had rejected him - so she probably does not want to make the same mistake.

So all in all - I guess we still have to wait and see to find out what her motivations really are. There still is hope, I guess. But I also can’t deny I am really irritated by this development and her portrayal by now.

[burningablaze]

Iida x Reader - All You Need To Be

Summary: When a study session with your boyfriend, Iida goes wrong but he knows how to fix it in the end

Ler: Iida

Lee: Reader

Words: 1,913

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your boyfriend, Iida always looking out for you, always focuses on his studies, and tries his best to learn more. He recently suggested that you study with him, how would that go?

You headed to his dorm once you were done with your friends, you knocked and waited for a good few seconds before he let you in.

"My star! There we are… so, about your grades- the upcoming tests are very important!" he said sternly, it's clear he wanted you to succeed.

I smiled and stepped inside his room. “Yes, yes, I know.”

Iida closed the door behind you, it was kind of a mess in his room, a lot of papers and books thrown about. He walked over to his bed and sat down, it seemed he had already begun studying.

"Please come here and sit, so we can look at the notes," he said, gently patting the bed for you to sit down next to him.

You sat down on the bed next to him and pulled out some papers from your bag. “I don’t know why I’m struggling so much with all this. I can understand some of them but sometimes it’s a bit hard for me.”

Iida chuckled a bit and looked over at you, then at your papers. He seemed a little distracted, but he had a soft smile, nonetheless.

"Yes, I know... but studying is important. And you don't seem to do it much, either." he gently scolded you, looking over at you.

"That's the whole reason we're studying together, my love."

You smiled a bit. “Yeah, I get it.”

He gave a firm smile and placed his hand on your shoulder, gently gripping it as he started shuffling through papers.

"Good, good. You're gonna pass this test, okay? But it's gonna take a lot of hard work to get there- which requires studying. Let's start with… well, your worst subject, maybe."

I nodded. “Okay.”

He looked at your paper once you handed him your most difficult subject, he skimmed through it before sighing a bit and rubbing his temples.

"Ugh- how did you mess up so bad? You're usually not this bad in here," he said with a bit of a scoff, but his hand never left your shoulder.

You sighed and didn’t know what to say as you ran your fingers through your hair. At that moment, you felt ridiculed by his words and felt down.

He sighed again and placed the paper down gently before looking back at you. He saw that you were frustrated and having a hard time.

"Hey… come here for a moment, love," he said, gently pulling you into his lap.

Once you were sitting on his lap, he gently wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in, your head against his chest. He ran a hand gently through your hair as his other hand rested on your hip.

"You're doing so great, you know," he said, resting his chin on your shoulder, his voice softer this time.

“Doesn’t feel like it,” you said under your breath.

"Shhh... you are. I promise you are." he shushed you gently. His hand rubbed your side gently, while his other hand in your hair played with the strands, wrapping them around his fingers.

"You're trying your best and that's all I care about. You could fail- hell, you could pass with an F, I don't care, okay?" he says gently, nuzzling his face into your shoulder.

“You’re just… smarter and better than I am. And I’m just sitting here, struggling.”

He gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him. He gave a gentle frown before sighing.

"Hey, hey... don't say that. You're perfectly fine just the way you are, alright? I'm just a bit smarter and that's it. You don't have to stress yourself out for that, okay? You're perfect to me. No matter what."

“I guess if you say so,” you said softly.

He gave a small, soft chuckle and gave your cheek a little squeeze with his hand. He pulled you in close and wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck.

"You're my perfect. That's all you need to be, okay?" he said, voice just above a whisper as he started peppering your neck with kisses, his breath a hot contrast to your skin.

You tried holding back a smile from his kisses. “Iida, don’t you do it!”

He chuckled against your skin as he continued kissing up your neck and jaw. He paused for a second and pulled back, looking at you confused for a second.

"Hmm? What do you mean by that, hm?~" he said with a smirk, still cradling you in his lap. He gave your hip a little, gentle squeeze.

You squeaked and twitched. “Don’t!”

Iida chuckled again and immediately smirked once he heard you squeak. He started connecting the dots and his smirk only turned into an evil little grin.

"Oh? Don't what, dear?~" he said, his hand on your hip gently rubbing up under your shirt and onto your skin.

“Wait, wait, don’t you dare!”

Iida just chuckled again, the smirk still present on his face as he gently moved his hand up even more, slowly brushing up your side and to your stomach.

"Why not? Can't I touch my beautiful girlfriend?~" he said in a mocking voice, gently scratching his fingernails over the sensitive skin on your stomach.

“Nohohohohoho, Iida! No tickles!” you squealed and wiggled in his lap.

He chuckled and pulled you in tighter, not allowing you to wiggle very far as he started gently scratching over your sides.

"Aw, why not? It's so adorable to see you all squirm and squeal. Besides, I think you're enjoying it a lot, right?~"

You started to buckle more and kicked your legs. “No, I’m nohohohohohohot! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!”

He smirked once more and continued tickling you, his fingers moving up towards your stomach, making sure to hit all the sensitive spots in the way. His other arm wrapped around your waist to keep your movements contained.

"Oh, I think you are! Look at you giggle and squirm~" he said, teasing you and enjoying every second of it.

“Iidahahahahahaha, dohohohohon’t! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ehehehehehe!” you grabbed his wrist to push his hand away.

As you grabbed his wrist, he quickly stopped attacking your stomach. He chuckled and wrapped that arm around your waist, effectively restraining both your arms now.

"Oh? Can't take it anymore?~" he asked before grinning and turning you around, forcing you onto your back as he straddled you, still pinning your arms to the bed.

“No, please no more!” you giggled nervously.

He continued straddling you and leaned down, keeping your arms pinned above your head. He was very close to your face, his eyes focused on you. He had a smirk, clearly enjoying this as he whispered to you.

"Aw, is my little doll all ticklish? Can't take any more?~"

“It’s too ticklish for me!” you squealed and squirmed underneath him.

He smirked again and gently pulled your shirt up a bit, revealing your stomach and sides.

"Aw, but you're just so ticklish! It's adorable to see you squirm like this, y'know.~"

“Wait, Iida, no!”

He chuckled again and looked directly down at your stomach, eyeing it hungrily like it was his next meal.

"Oh, yes, my little doll just looks so cute!~" he said, before leaning down close to your ear, his voice in a whisper. "I can't help myself.~"

“Iida, whatever you're thinking, you better not do it!”

He chuckled again and gave your ear a little nuzzle before he pulled back and whispered to you again. He had a little sinister smirk on his face.

"Oh, but I'm going to because you're just too cute.~" he quickly leaned back down again and started blowing raspberries into your stomach and sides.

You immediately screamed with laughter and jumped a bit. You arched my back and bucked your hips. “AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IIDAHAHAHAHA!”

He continued to blow raspberries all over your stomach, before leaning back and looking at his work. The smirk still on his face, satisfied by how much you were laughing.

"Aw, look at you! Squirming and giggling so much. I could just eat you right up~"

You breathed heavily and let out a stream of giggles. “I give up! I give up!”

He chuckled as he sat up a bit and saw that you were surrendering, giving little gasps of breath from the intense tickling. He grinned and looked down at you.

"Oh? You give up? But it's only been a few minutes!~"

“I can’t take anymore. I’m begging you,” you said while catching your breath.

He chuckled and smiled once more, loving the sight of you pleading for him to stop. He slowly laid down, right next to you, and pulled you on top of him. He had your head lay on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, gently rubbing your back as you tried to steady your breathing and giggling.

"I suppose I could have mercy this time around, doll~"

“Oh thank god,” you said under your breath.

He chuckled a bit again, feeling you relax against him. He kept rubbing your back gently, running his fingers through your hair occasionally too, still nuzzling his face into your locks. He placed a gentle kiss on your head before speaking again.

"You're adorable, you know that? I love you so much, my little doll."

You smiled softly. “I love you too.”

He smiled gently and lifted your chin, forcing you to look at him. He placed another kiss on your forehead before holding your chin in his hand, gently rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

"You're so precious. My precious doll. I won't ever let anything happen to you."

“I know,”

He looked you in the eyes for a few more seconds, before pulling you gently back down, so your head laid in the crook of his neck. He kept rubbing your back and your hair as he just let you rest in his arms.

"I'm always going to be here for you, love. Alright? I'm not going anywhere."

You wrapped my arms around him and breathed softly against his neck. “I know that too. I appreciate how much you care so much about me, even if I am failing a bit.” you chuckled a bit.

He chuckled as well and held you close, holding the back of your neck with one hand, and rubbing your back with the other.

"Of course, I care a lot about you, and I know you've been struggling, but I think that's fine. As long as you're trying, that's all I care about. Besides, I think you're just adorable when you're frustrated."

You shook my head. “Of course, you had to say that.”

He chuckled and started running his fingers through your hair again, while the other hand started playing with the fabric of your shirt.

"Of course, I had to say that because it's true. You're adorable when you're frustrated, and when you pout, and when you're working on your school work, and basically at any given time."

You rolled my eyes with a small smile.

He saw your eye roll and chuckled a bit more, but he gave you a little squeeze as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck and started placing gentle kisses there.

"Aww, I can see that smile, doll, and you're just making yourself more adorable while doing so~"

[yellowocaballero]

now that kakashi (and rin) have defected from konoha, do pakkun and the rest of the pack have those lines drawn through their headbands? does pakkun let rin touch his pawpads?!

Uchiha Obito hummed, scratching Shiba’s ruff. The dog was sprawled on his lap in full ecstatic bonelessness, and far more of Tobi’s attention was focused on the happily panting dog than the pug in front of him. The pug had the unmistakable energy of an exhausted pack-a-day smoker who had seen too much. 

“They both made it safely home,” Pakkun finished. “So what’s the call, boss?”

“Oh, you’re a good puppy, you’re such a good puppy, a little wittle puppykins -”

“Boss.”

A question already answered in something I wrote ages ago and never posted. Excerpt from a short Sakura POV story under the cut:

Uchiha Obito hummed, scratching Shiba’s ruff. The dog was sprawled on his lap in full ecstatic bonelessness, and far more of Tobi’s attention was focused on the happily panting dog than the pug in front of him. The pug had the unmistakable energy of an exhausted pack-a-day smoker who had seen too much. 

“They both made it safely home,” Pakkun finished. “So what’s the call, boss?”

“Oh, you’re a good puppy, you’re such a good puppy, a little wittle puppykins -”

“Boss.”

Tobi looked up, pulling a dramatically tragic face. “Why are we talking about work? Tobi’s tiredddd. Sensei’s little genin puppies are so exhausting for Sensei. Tobi just wants to play with his nice doggos.”

“This is kind of important.”

“No it’s not.”

“Saying something’s not true does not, technically, make it untrue.”

Tobi huffed, puffing out his cheeks. “Didn’t ChaCha just have puppers? Little itty bitty ones? Tobi wants to meet them!”

Shiba barked in sleepy assent. At least she was having fun. Obito had long since overcame any ability to feel embarrassment or shame, but the word ‘pupper’ really did put him against the edge.

Pakkun shifted his shoulders a little, readjusting his bandana. “If I take you to meet ChaCha’s puppies in the Summoning realm, will you actually sit down and pay attention to our report?”

“Yeah yeah sure whatever!”

“Alright.” Pakkun sighed, nosing around the floor a little. Shiba scrambled off Tobi’s lap, and in a smooth and fluid motion Tobi eagerly leapt to his feet. “You ready?”

Tobi started hopping up and down. “Yes yes yes yes yessssss -”

“Get ready. And — here we go!”

Pakkun reverse summoned all three of them, and Tobi tightly screwed his eyes shut. His Mangyeko sensed the flip and swirl of dimensions, and it always made his stomach swoop and fall. It always made bile rise up in his throat too, and when Tobi felt the universe settle around them he coughed out his gagged throat and opened his eyes. 

He was standing in front of a little cave, tucked in the edge of a craggy mountain. Around him was a beautiful meadow, covered in long grass and tasty flowers, gently warmed by a soft sun. Packs of dogs slept in bundles or chased each other merrily through the brush. 

“Ugh!” Tobi coughed again, spitting onto the ground. “Tobi always hates that.” 

Pakkun batted at his foot, and for the first time his exhausted puggy little face creased in worry. “You’re good, Obito. You’re the only human here.”

“Tobi knows, Tobi knows - give me a little second.”

Switching was difficult. Maybe it would be easier if he actually did it more than once a month at absolute best. The Uchiha Compound was on ANBU 24/7 monitor - for little Sasuke and idiot Tobi’s safety, clearly! - and there were peeping eyes in every public space in a hidden village. 

Tobi wouldn’t switch even if he could. Tobi wasn’t a lie - he was a state of mind. Tobi was a second brain in Uchiha Obito’s head, fitting nicely into the hole Obito clawed into his mind with his fingernails. After so long pretending that he couldn’t, Tobi actually was incapable of using the Sharingan. Tobi had an absolute mental block. Those in the village who suspected that trauma had done more work to create Tobi than brain damage had decided years ago that his incapability to use the Sharingan was somatic, and somehow fiction had eaten its own tail and become the truth. 

That was how a ninja lied. They made a lie their reality, and they made their reality the world’s. Experienced shinobi knew that long-term undercover missions could ruin even the most professional shinobi’s sanity - that some shinobi returned from an undercover mission of years incapable of reconnecting with who they really were. SOP for long-term undercover missions incorporated structured time with a person’s real identity, and missions almost never lasted more than five years. 

Tobi had been Tobi for fifteen. He would say it was a miracle he wasn’t actually insane, but Obito was definitely insane too. You had to be pretty insane to pretend to be a brain-damaged, trauma-broken moron for fifteen years. 

Tobi had a process for reconnecting with Obito. He closed his eyes and slowed his heart rate, bringing his body back down to absolute relaxation. Tobi tended to Tobi when he got panicked or scared. A Uchiha had vivid imagination, and the absolute recall of the Sharingan helped Tobi imagine himself in a little world. 

It was a memory. Kakashi and Rin stood before him, standing on a bridge and waiting for Sensei to remember that he had someplace to be. This was how a man who could teleport was always late. If he was with Kushina-neechan he’d forget anything and everything. 

The sun dappled orange and yellow on the slowly churning water beneath them, and Obito was hungry. He had skipped lunch to train again. Obito could hear his stomach growl, feel the pain in his muscles.

“We might as well make the most of this,” Rin told him. She smiled broadly, clapping her hands. “Why don’t we all train together? Maybe we can surprise Sensei with some new jutsu?”

“Maa, count me out.” Kakashi laced his hands behind his head, staring absently up at the clouds. “I wanna take a nap.”

“Lazybones.” Rin sighed and turned to Obito, her smile turning hopeful. “What about you, Obito-kun? I bet you could teach me a really cool jutsu…and maybe I could teach you something too!”

Obito had snorted, crossing his arms. “What’s the point of that? What could a chuunin learn from two genin? Hard pass.”

They didn’t look frustrated. How could they never look frustrated? How did they take him in with a smile, why did they search so hard for his heart? Obito hadn’t had a heart. He hadn’t stolen it yet. 

“Rin-chan has a combat med-nin certification you don’t have. But what could a med-nin teach a combat specialist, eh?” At some point Kakashi had pulled out one of his idiot mystery novels, flipping it open to a random point and reading it avidly. Obito never understood it. What was the point in rereading a mystery novel? You knew the ending already. But Kakashi always said that the ending of the book changed every time he caught another little clue. Stupid. A book didn’t change just because you’re rereading it. “And of course there’s my wisdom.”

“Yeah?” Obito snorted. “Then teach me your wisdom, oh almighty Bakashi. Does that cloud up there look like a bunny? Did the butler do it?”

“Obito-kun, calling him Bakashi isn’t nice -”

“The butler was a red herring.” Kakashi eye-smiled at him above his book. In Obito’s memory, his smile looked a little mischievous. “A true mystery reader always looks underneath the underneath.”

“That’s useless,” Obito said flatly. “Do you have any wisdom that’s useful for a real ninja?”

“What? Oh, no, not at all. Shush, I’m almost at the ending.”

With the Sharingan, the memory may as well be real. It was a memory that only Obito had ever lived. Tobi didn’t have any memories like that. Tobi didn’t think about these things. Tobi didn’t think about anything, honestly. 

Obito opened his eyes. He winced at the sunlight, kneading the bridge of his nose. He groaned, clearing his throat. When he spoke, his voice was in his natural register - low and even. “That gets harder every time.”

Shiba licked Obito’s hand, and Obito scratched her on the ears. “You back, Boss?”

“So much as I ever am,” Obito said wryly. “Mind repeating the report? I was a little distracted.”

“You should come here more frequently,” Pakkun intoned. Shiba nudged at Obito’s leg, and he slowly sat down in front of the mouth of the cave. The grass was cool and soft underneath his fingers, and the tension caused by the memory finally eased. “Staying away for a long time is bad for you.”

“I’ve been a little busy. Report, please.”

Of course Kakashi had given Obito the best gift of his life. Kakashi had given him someplace safe, someplace that wouldn’t arouse suspicion. He could stalk around the village as a ghost for a little while, but spending too much time invisible invited uncomfortable questions. But Tobi reverse summoning himself to doggy paradise to frolic with puppies? The ANBU occasionally tailing him would be suspicious if it took less than two hours to return.

Obito liked to take three or four. Knowing Kakashi, that was the real gift: a little paradise just for them. Kakashi always said fun was the most important thing in the world. A life without fun, Kakashi would say, was a life where you just ran around killing things. And who would want to live a life like that?

The report made a different sort of sense the second time. Obito had dismissed Shiba so she could go play, and he rested his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers in thought. “I knew this genin team would be more trouble than they’re worth.”

“I want to meet them.” Pakkun thumped his tail on the ground, belying his eagerness. “I never thought you’d get to have puppies. We were excited when we heard.”

Obito made a face. “Get to? The last thing I wanted was more warm bodies in my orbit. That’s just more people to get killed.” 

“Don’t give up on them so easily. That Jinchuuriki is probably almost unkillable.” That was a bit of a relief. Obito would have to work hard to accidentally murder Minato’s child. Still, never say never and all that. “And you deserved students. You were so proud to be part of the Shodaime’s legacy. All three of you wanted to keep that legacy going. You’re the only survivor of your training lineage. You deserved the opportunity to pass that on.”

“Why the fuck does a dog care about these things?”

“Kakashi cared,” Pakkun said simply. Obito looked away. “You should ask about him more. If you regret never seeing underneath his underneath so badly, then you can just -”

“The fact that the head of T&I is interested enough in me to recruit my own genin student to investigate me is a major problem.” Obviously Tobi had no chance of ever winning the man’s trust - a Yamanaka who couldn’t read your mind hated you on principle - but Obito hadn’t known that Tobi bothered the man so much. “We’ll be on guard, but I’m not too worried. Tobi doesn’t have a single crack. There’s nothing to find.” Obito smiled a little, broken and crooked. “I’m not worried at all, actually. There’s a force in this world far, far greater than a spy’s little games.”

“Even Inochi Yamanaka’s?” Pakkun asked, unimpressed. Judgy little dog. Obito knew for a fact he thought Obito was just as stupid as Tobi sometimes. “Like what?”

Obito’s smile grew. He wondered what it looked like. No human had ever seen that smile. It would have to stay his very own. “The power of a teen girl’s crush on a beautiful girl. I know Sakura by now. She wouldn’t break to torture. I think she has a thing for Sasuke too, so it’s practically a done deal. And if Ino’s anything like her mother, she’s twice as stubborn as Sakura. They won’t fold.”

Pakkun barked, amused. He didn’t argue with Obito at all, which was a bit of a surprise. What would a dog know about the all-powerful might of a teenage crush?

Well. Obito knew. But he didn’t like to think about that. So he didn’t.

“If anybody in Konoha is going to find out, it’s her.” Pakkun’s lips peeled back in a doggy grin. “She’s observant, determined, and well-placed. The cover might be in danger.”

“She’s twelve,” Obito said flatly. “I think even Tobi can outwit a twelve year old. Besides, as I said - no matter what she says, she won’t snitch. She’s Tobi’s cute little genin. She won’t sell Sasuke’s cousin out. He’d never forgive her.”

“The others want you to summon us and let us play with Sasuke again,” Pakkun said gravely. “They’re ready to unionize about it.”

“I fold to the union’s demands.” Obito straightened, cracking his neck. “It’s decided, then. We’ll tighten up. And if anything slips through the cracks, we have the power of teenage love on our side. Report over. Nice job, Obito.”

“You should stay a while. Actually meet the puppies. They’re awfully cute.”

“No, I should head back.” Obito stood up, shaking himself like one of his dogs. All ninja believed that summoners grew to become a little like their summons. It was probably just a folk tale, but Obito had heard many times that Tobi was just as puppy-ish as his own puppies. “Let me code switch here. I don’t want Obito in my apartment.”

“It’s always Obito in your apartment,” Pakkun said. “You know that, right?”

Obito ignored him, as he often did, and closed his eyes.

There was a process of returning to Tobi too. It was a lot like his Obito process, but in many ways it was the exact opposite. Obito still closed his eyes, still used the Sharingan to draw up a memory so detailed and complete that he could step back in time within his own mind. Obito placed himself within his usual memory. He had a rotation, but sometimes he did all of them. The kids were really straining the Tobi identity - most people just couldn’t stand to be around him as long as these kids were around him, Obito had no idea how load-bearing that part of the personality was - and he ought to sink as deeply into the mindset as possible. 

Obito opened his eyes of memory.

Obito walked himself through the halls of the Uchiha Compound. Itachi had fled only seconds ago, and he had chosen to look for survivors instead of chasing him down. He checked every room in every house, pressed two fingers to every pulse. Uselessly, often - their hearts were punctured as surely as Rin’s. In others he had to check their wrist - the babies’ throats were neatly slit. All thirty houses, all one hundred and eighty seven clan members. All but one. The winding halls of memory stretched on before him, and Obito lost himself in the darkness.

No. Not enough.

Blood ran in thick rivulets down his arm. It dripped off his elbow and formed a shallow puddle on the ground - that drip, drip, drip that echoed in every nightmare. The grip on his tanto blade was slick with blood, and its edge protruded out of the other side of the body. Blood ran from Rin’s mouth. A scream echoed in the air, and Obito realized far too late that it was his own. She was shirtless, breasts limply hanging in the air, and the seal on her stomach was painted in thick black that dripped as sluggishly as the blood. Rin’s mouth formed a name. It wasn’t Obito’s own.

Obito. No. More. The last one. This one always worked.

Kakashi’s face. There was nothing more to look at, nothing else to see. Rin was at the edges of his vision, working frantically to close the arteries in his legs, but Obito could barely see her. Rin was never the one who Obito looked at. Rin had never filled his vision. 

“Sorry I forgot to get you a present. Ah…always forgetful, me.” With the last of his strength, Kakashi reached up to pull down his mask himself. “You’ll take my tanto, won’t you? You called the crow contract a prison…so would the dog contract be okay? Even an Uchiha would enjoy presents like that.”

“I don’t understand,” Obito had sobbed. Blubbered, really. Like Tobi did. Tobi cried and sobbed like that. Obito never had. “You can’t run like that, you can’t hit like that, you can’t use Chidori, you never - Kakashi, why, why -”

Kakashi’s eyes closed, and for an insane second Obito thought that was it. He shook Kakashi’s shoulder, as if Tobi could bring a boy back to life just by shaking him hard enough. But he opened his mouth again, and Obito saw that his teeth were perfectly straight and pearly white. He had no idea. Didn’t really fit. “Oh. That. Meant - meant to tell you. Had some bad experiences as a kid. Danzo…” Kakashi coughed again, leaving Obito’s mind to spin in confusion. Danzo? What the hell did Danzo have to do with Kakashi lying? “Figured it was safer to chill out. Nobody nice likes a genius, you know.”

“Then why did you like me?” Tobi asked. “You shouldn’t have saved me.”

Kakashi shouldn’t have done a lot of things. He shouldn’t have killed twenty of those Iwa nin in one blow, rescuing Obito from that dark cave by himself. He shouldn’t have pulled out those A-rank jutsu when he could barely use a B-rank. Kakashi shouldn’t have been anywhere near those rocks at all. 

“I’ll kill you if you die!” Rin screeched. Thick trails of tears were trailing down her face, but her hands never stopped working. “Don’t talk like you’re already dead, you idiot! Stay awake!”

“You two are so dumb.” Kakashi said. It was the last he said. It was the last he ever said. Outside of the halls of memory, outside of the neurons of a spinning eye, Kakashi never said anything again. “I saved Obito because he’s Obito. Life isn’t all that complicated, you know.”

“Kakashi! Please!”

Rocks fell, and everyone died. 

Was that what had happened? Oh, Tobi could never remember right - was the mole on the left side of his mouth or the right side? It was one or the other, maybe, one or the other…

Tobi opened his eye. And he was surrounded by puppies!

“Tobi’s good to go now,” Tobi said. “Let’s all work hard and do our very best to avoid detection and execution by T&!”

“I don’t know what Kakashi saw in you.”

It didn’t matter. Kakashi wasn’t about to ever see it again.

What a relief.

[popkin16]

tged: bedtime kisses

1.6k. developing relationship, complete fluff, unbeta’d.

Lloyd develops a nighttime habit and Javier’s a pain in the butt. They’re in love.

Lloyd didn’t know where the urge came from that first time, but he had already kissed Javier’s forehead before he could think it through and beat the urge down. He’d frozen, inches from Javier’s face, but the other man merely slept on, his breathing deep and even. Javier had looked serene and comfortable despite sleeping slumped in a chair, and the firelight had cast a golden glow on Javier’s normally pale face. Lloyd had a difficult time looking away.

Lloyd climbed into bed after that first kiss feeling a mixture of relief, nerves, and quiet satisfaction.

Lloyd certainly didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about kissing Javier. Punching him when he was being particularly annoying, sure. But Lloyd was usually too busy to think about romance, let alone kissing the protagonist of the novel in which he was now living. The two were very separate things, Lloyd told himself. That kiss was an aberration, a one-off. Not romantic at all.

But it happened again, a week later. Javier had come in wearing pink bunny slippers, and Lloyd couldn’t stop the glow of fondness in his chest from flaring. It continued to burn even after Javier opened his mouth to say annoying things, which is how Lloyd knew he maybe… cared quite a bit.

Lloyd was smart. He was logical. He could recognize a pattern when it was right in front of his face. So he noticed that he felt more affectionate after one of their misadventures: when he woke to Javier by his bedside after Lloyd had fallen unconscious or when Javier was injured. When Javier showed he cared, in that cranky, subtle way he had.

“I can hardly allow the young master to come to harm,” Javier would say dryly, blue eyes mocking. As though he were doing it only to protect the heir to the Frontera estate, with no regard for Lloyd himself at all.

So sometimes Lloyd was overcome and pressed a gentle kiss to Javier’s forehead. Or touched his soft hair, marveling at its frankly odd color, keeping his touch gentle so he wouldn’t wake Javier.

It wasn’t hurting anybody.

Javier was always out like a light.

It didn’t mean anything, Lloyd told himself.

Javier was annoying and rude. Lloyd sometimes wanted to shake him violently, but having someone so steadfast by his side was…comforting. He was useful to have around, and he always had Lloyd’s back, despite any complaints or snide comments. And, Lloyd admitted - but only to himself! And begrudgingly! - Javier was handsome.

Ugh.

Maybe Lloyd had a tiny crush. Miniscule, really. He had far more important things to do than think of romance, and especially with someone like Javier. Besides, he refused to give Javier the satisfaction of knowing he’d reeled in someone else! There would be no love letters from Lloyd.

But on occasion, at night, when Lloyd was tired and weak to impulse, there might be some innocent touching. It was a point of pride for Lloyd that he could put Javier out. Javier was a man with keen senses and a strong sense of duty; if he felt there was any danger, there’d be no way he’d fall asleep, even to Lloyd’s engineering textbook lecturing. When the original Lloyd had inhabited this body, there was no way Javier would have let down his guard enough.

They’d come so far, even if Javier still refused to call Lloyd a friend.

Lloyd reached out with one careful hand, his fingertips brushing the soft, light hair. He carefully brushed the hair out of Javier’s face. He ran his fingers through Javier’s curls, once, twice, and pulled away.

Only for his hand to be caught in a solid grip before he’d moved more than an inch. Lloyd jerked his hand back on reflex, but Javier’s grip didn’t loosen. His arm hung there uselessly while Lloyd met Javier’s steely blue-eyed gaze. The air seemed thick, the moment drawn out, and Lloyd began to sweat with nerves. Javier was just…looking at him. Lloyd squirmed. He desperately racked his brain for something to say.

“I was checking for lice,” Lloyd blurted finally.

Javier raised a single eyebrow. “I don’t have lice.”

“You might,” Lloyd insisted, doubling down on his stupid, ridiculous lie. “I thought I saw you scratching your head earlier today.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“....”

“Anyway, you can let go now,” Lloyd said. Though he’d meant for it to come out as an order, it wasn’t nearly as firmly said as he’d hoped. The words shook almost imperceptibly and Lloyd cursed himself for the slip. Javier watched him thoughtfully, his face as unreadable as ever, and Lloyd wondered if this was it. If his stupid, selfish actions would make things unbearable between the two of them, with Javier now aware of Lloyd’s unrequited feelings.

But then Javier turned his face, his lips brushing against the rough palm of Lloyd’s hands. Lloyd sucked in a breath at the ticklish touch, the noise loud in the otherwise quiet room. Javier met his eyes steadily, a smirk curling the corner of his mouth.

“Forgive me,” he said archly. “I slipped.”

“You - you slipped?” Lloyd repeated.

Javier blinked innocently. “Indeed.”

“But - how does your face slip? What a sorry excuse.”

“It is just as unsound as your lice claim.”

“It is not! You could conceivably have lice,” Lloyd said, affronted. “It’s a misconception that lice like dirty hair, you know.”

“I have never had lice in my life,” Javier informed him, still holding Lloyd by the wrist.

“What, never?”

“No.”

“I suppose you’ll also claim you’ve never been ill,” Lloyd said skeptically.

“It is so,” Javier agreed, and Lloyd sputtered.

“Are you a cyborg? You cannot be human.”

“What’s a cyborg?”

Damn protagonist! Lloyd should have pulled his hair instead. He had forgotten, in the intimate tranquil evenings, that Javier was the most annoying person Lloyd had ever met.

He was just about to demand his hand back when Javier moved it so it was resting on the top of his head. Lloyd froze, pinned in place by Javier’s gaze, his expectant expression. They stayed like that for another long moment, Lloyd’s heart hammering in his chest, before Lloyd’s fingers hesitantly caressed those curls. Javier’s eyes went heavy-lidded as Lloyd scratched at his head and played with his hair, his body relaxing into the chair he usually slept in.

Lloyd watched him with a soft smile. Javier was like a giant cat - standoffish, but permitting touch when it was on his own terms. It was almost…cute.

When it seemed like Javier had fallen back asleep, Lloyd let his arm drop back to his side. Javier blinked his eyes open sleepily to watch as Lloyd took a step back, toward his bed. An idea occurred to Lloyd, and he dithered for a moment, biting at his bottom lip as he fought with indecision and doubt.

“You could sleep in the bed, if you want,” Lloyd offered. He tilted his head away subtly, fixing his eyes on the fire merrily crackling in the fireplace.

“And you?” Javier asked, still looking soft and touchable.

“Well, I - we would share the bed,” Lloyd responded. He put his hands on his hips. “This is a limited time offer, you understand. If you don’t accept it now -”

Javier stood. He took a moment to stretch, and Lloyd eyed the strip of skin as his shirt rode up. He was too tired and things were far too tentative between them, but even so Lloyd’s body took note.

“I will take the side closest to the door.”

“What? Why?” Not that Lloyd cared, but he couldn’t let Javier go around just making decisions without Lloyd’s input. Especially not when it regarded their sleeping arrangements!

“I will be better placed to protect you,” Javier pointed out reasonably. He pulled back the covers and climbed in. He looked unfairly right, lying in Lloyd’s bed. Even when he looked smug.

“Someone could come through the window,” Lloyd argued, still standing next to the bed.

“Less likely than an intruder coming through the door.”

“What about drafts? My side will be colder, as it’s closer to the window and further from the fireplace.”

Javier sighed long-sufferingly. “I will be here to keep you warm, Master Lloyd.”

“.....oh. Right.”

Just to be an asshole, Lloyd deliberately crawled over Javier’s sprawled body to get to the other side of the bed. Javier grunted, eyes narrowed with annoyance as Lloyd did his best to squish him. Sitting on his pillow, Lloyd whipped the covers back, letting cold air beneath the blankets. He wiggled his way down and Javier tossed the blankets over Lloyd, making sure his face was covered by them. Lloyd batted them down with an indignant, “Hey!” that Javier ignored.

Despite his body crying out for sleep, Lloyd was feeling cheerful, and that meant being a little shit. He tossed and turned as though looking for the optimal sleeping position, jostling the bed.

“Master Lloyd,” Javier said reproachfully, and turned on his side so he was facing Lloyd, and wrapped his arms around Lloyd’s body to drag him close. Held in place by Javier’s grip, unable to toss and turn, Lloyd pressed his face into his cool pillow to hide his delighted smile.

“You should call me Lloyd,” he muttered, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. He added hastily, “Just in private, don’t get any ideas.”

Javier hummed in quiet agreement. Then, “Go to sleep.”

“I am, I am.”

“Shh.” Javier’s large hand patted at Lloyd’s face with a touch too much force, so Lloyd bit his hand. Not hard, just enough for Javier to feel the press of sharp teeth. Javier pulled away with an amused huff and returned his arm to its place over Lloyd’s waist. He breathed out, ruffling the hair at the back of Lloyd’s head, and then his body went slack as sleep overtook him.

Lloyd smiled, that too-wide, pleased smile that seemed to terrify all who saw it. It gentled into something sweeter as sleep stole him away, and when he dreamed, it was of Lloyd and Javier bickering in a room filled with money.