#imogen is not her mother. but sometimes imogen acts like- well. /well/. they ask her: is she with us? and they ask. if shes not. will you-

[sparring-spirals]

Laudna, to Imogen: "There are going to be casualties, lets be honest. But- your mother. Could you live with that?"

Imogen doesn't answer, for a long, long moment. Doesnt answer at all. Before speaking about the ground team, talking about how to save Ryn.

Fearne, Laudna, Orym, bringing the question back, offering ways to have Liliana help- to make her help.

Laudna, emphasizing: If she's not on our side, if she's not all in, then-

Ashton, saying: If your mom actually is, on the up on up, she clearly still thinks this is some sort of negotiation where she can get you to leave. So I suppose its time to make sure that she knows that that time has passed. She has to fucking deal.

Imogen: Yeah.

Ashton: And if she doesn't, well, she- She's leaving you out in the cold, isn't she.

Imogen: Yeah.

Imogen: She's done it before.

Ashton: That's what they do.

[utilitycaster]

I really want to hear more, at the table or perhaps 4SD in March, about Ashton's agreement with Orym and indeed their even more cynical statement, that Imogen's going to inevitably be pulled towards Predathos whether she does her exploration willingly or resists, because I do think that Ashton's insight is really valuable here.

Ashton and Imogen have always made for a fascinating contrast. Both have complicated feelings about parents and abandonment which extend to their worldview and their relationship with the gods. Both have wondered about the source of their powers, which came at a profound physical and social cost.

I think where they diverge is that Ashton started the campaign believing that this was about the best it was ever going to get for them - staying in Krook House, with a weird nascent prickly friendship with FCG, drinking heavily and taking on odd jobs to pay off astronomical debt to Jiana Hexum. Ashton was not looking for a cure for his pain, nor meaning from it, early on. As they tell Laudna after a rough time fighting the Shade Mother, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." He sat on the Hishari/Ashari connection for weeks, never truly asking Orym but waiting until the information came to him in other ways. On the other hand, Imogen started the campaign profoundly curious; she is introduced trying to get into the Starpoint Academy to research the dreams and powers she's been dealing with for years, and her initial motivation for joining the team was to gain that access.

As time has gone on, this has slowly flipped, and I think Ashton is seeing Imogen settling into an indecisive rut. In addition, I think Imogen speculating that Liliana was a good person who simply got caught and overtaken by Predathos is raising alarms for them. After all, they just acted under the presumption that their parents had been well-intentioned people who made a mistake, and not only did it nearly kill them; the vision they had while unconscious indicated that their parents had simply done it out of a sense of self-importance. In a way, this feels like Ashton's form of protection: it is going to happen. The pain is going to be there. Are you going to make something with it, or will you simply let it catch you without your involvement?

For all their similarities, Ashton and Imogen didn't interact terribly often early in the campaign, so one of their earlier meaningful conversations is a recent one: the one where Imogen connected with the All-Minds-Burn. That is the Imogen Ashton believes can save them: the one who will decide to explore the world around her and rise to challenges, not the one who withdraws and shrinks from them. One who is not beholden to a romanticized idea of her mother who has never once lived up to those ideals in reality, but who rather makes her own choices. His line is delivered with its usual 6 Charisma; but the logic is sound.

[southslates]

loving you is a losing game

@kanejweek day three: adventure (outer space) / kanej / pre-canon - one-shot - rated T / read on ao3! / 2076 words

Kaz doesn’t understand himself, his own convictions and the way his heart changes its beat next to Inej. Or rather, he does understand. He’s Dirtyhands, and that’s why he can never let his emotions slide out of the corner of his mind he keeps them hidden in and find a home in his mouth. There is no salvation left to spare for him; not in this life, not in the next. He doesn’t want salvation, anyway.

It's so hard to convince himself that’s true in moments like this. Inej is on her stomach next to him, her arm an inch away from his. Despite the way he finds air rising out of his lungs when his gaze loiters on her for too long, her skin disgusts him as much as any other. There are no exceptions to his special kind of hell. He would do so much to beat this illness of the mind, but there is nothing left for him to do.

“You said he’d be here by now,” he growls at her, keeping his face turned away from her hooded features, staring at the street and breathing in, and then out, keeping his mind and body at ease. He has a job to do—a vase to lift—and he cannot be distracted, he cannot be distracted, he cannot—

Kaz grits his teeth. He will not look at Inej and see the stars above illuminate her features in the most dangerous of ways, like a temptation. He cannot do this, he cannot do this, he remembers Imogen. He is Kaz Brekker and he has done so much to make himself a myth but this he cannot do. He has acknowledged this as his weakness.

And if it is his weakness, she is too, by extension. 

“Stoepker has been on time every day for the past week,” she says quietly. “It would just be unlucky. We should go back to the Slat, it’s too late now, anyway.”

Unlucky, it’s unlucky. Kaz had looked into the Emerald Palace through the roof while he and Inej had scaled the rooftops to lead them to the Stoepker residence and seen Petjer Stoepker playing at the tables, light in his eyes and a brunette on his arm. He’d known the man wouldn’t be here—he had downed far too many drinks to even fathom walking the stretch to his mansion in the dark. He and Inej needed Stoepker to come home so they could sneak into his upstairs safe in the moment in took him to deactivate the trip wires around his garden. The job wasn’t supposed to be hard.

They could have gone back to the Slat two hours ago, when the sun had just dipped below the wintery horizon. He could have sat at his desk and kept on going through the reports fucking Per Haskell kept delegating to him while Inej went down to spend time with Jesper or sat silently at his window.

But he hadn’t. He’d known Stoepker wouldn’t come back and yet he’d forced her to stay like this next to him, just a hand’s width apart on a freezing rooftop, silent, just so he could feel her presence next to him, just so he could be next to her and tempt himself, so he could turn to her and not his paperwork. He feels distinctly stupid, and something else blossoms in his chest. He sighs and slides off the roof. Inej follows, lithe and agile with her good legs.

“Back to the Slat,” she questions, and he nods. What else is there to do? There’s always more work. Not that he doesn’t enjoy his work, the brick-by-brick. He wants something more, but he doesn’t even know what that is.

He slides till the end of the roof and then grabs his cane next to him. He doesn’t trust himself to scale Ketterdam’s roof in the pitch-dark, especially the day after a snow. Kaz doesn’t need to break his other leg. Though Inej doesn’t have to, she joins him, feet touching the ground without noise to the ear. He can feel her steps reverberate through his chest. And then something else.

He turns to her in the dark, and he can feel the blush rise to her cheeks. “I’m a bit hungry,” she admits. “Nina said we could get waffles in the middle of night. I’m late to meet her, but Jesper has probably already told her we’re out.”

Of course he’s the monster, the boy with hands caked with blood who takes her away from her good friends—the sassy heartrender who can pull her close, the flirty sharpshooter who can kiss her cheek. Kaz is jealous of Nina and Jesper, and he knows why. He can and will have everything but what they have with Inej.

He doesn’t mean to say it. He means to let her go, to tell her to meet Nina, to erase his chapter in her night. It’s what he would do if he was a better man. Instead he says, “The Finch Inn serves hutspot into the night,” and gestures for her to follow him with a glare.

Kaz Brekker is a terrible man. He can give Inej nothing, but he wants to take so much regardless. It’s a strange sort of weakness that has him lead her to the first place he ate in Ketterdam, treasure to a newly minted orphan. Perhaps a small part of him wants to erase those memories he had with Jordie, write her smile and laugh and goodness into that crevice of his mind. He is such a terrible man.

/

Kaz takes kruge out of his pocket and accepts two bowls of hutspot, placing one in Inej’s hand. She winces when the bowl touches her with a small huff of air he wants to spend the rest of his life daydreaming about, and he takes it back. He can’t feel the heat through his gloves.

They walk outside of the inn. Kaz means to walk back to the Slat with her, but Inej side-eyes their surroundings closely before nodding him towards a small alley. He follows her—he follows nobody, he is his own person, not some sort of obedient dog—he follows her onto a rickety fire escape on the side of the building. Inej scales to the top and reaches to grab the bowls from his hand so he can regrip his cane properly.

She looks into his eyes for a moment, and keeps his face straight, cruel, he’s good at that. She is never disparaged from even his worse glares, and he makes the step up.

The roof of the Inn is a bit clunky, but he navigates himself upon it well enough. Inej is seated near the chimney, as though it is warm, and he drags himself on the other side of it. This is good. There are feet between them, and their hands do not touch as she passes him her bowl.

“Thank you,” she says to him as she takes a bite, stares into the distance of the sky. She is watching the Kerch stars, shining in this dark winter night, and he is watching her. He cannot stare at the heavens, lest he be reminded that the distance between the stars is the same as the space between him and everything he wants and can never have. Her.

Kaz says nothing, just takes a bite of his own hutspot. It’s warm, a nice contrast to the chill that he is now feeling keenly in his bad leg. He refuses to groan, simply stays silent as Inej stares off into the distance. He will not ask her to start a conversation, he cannot.

“My mother used to show me constellations,” she begins, his little Suli idealist, this girl with all her hope and her stories. She reminds him of a little boy who loved omelet stands, who didn’t understand the true evil of this city of greed. “They were clearer in Ravka, when the caravans stopped in the woods. They’re so hard to see here.”

He wants more. He wishes she would laugh, he doesn’t know why. “Ravka is heavily under-industrialized. It’s why in the long-term they’ll lose the war.”

She turns to glare at him, but he can tell it’s lacking severity. He knows when Inej is truly angry at him. He’s seen the look in her eyes when he raises his voice or kills too quickly. She knows he always has his reasons, so he doesn’t understand why she acts shocked every time. She cannot still have faith in him like her precious Suli constellations.

“You’re so grim, Kaz,” she complains. “They’re beautiful.”

“They’re lights in the sky,” he says, looking at her. “Made of small amounts of metal and gases. They are terrifying.”

“How do you know all these things?” Inej asks him. “You haven’t gone to university. You know about the stars and you do maths.”

“I learn myself,” he shrugs, gives her a truthful answer. “It comes easy.”

“You are infuriating. You and the way your mind works. Shevrati,” she calls him. He hopes that is affection under her voice. He has no idea where he stands with Inej, just that even he cannot fathom the depths of himself. The depths of his desire—

That is not a thought he will finish. It is not. “I could say the same about you and your saints,” he says.

Inej shifts up against the roof. “My mother once said the stars would lead me home.”

Something cruel wants to bite its way up through Kaz’s throat. The stars watched as you were taken on a slaver’s ship and at the Menagerie. Stop having faith in these stars, in these pretty words. They are meaningless, Inej. There is just you on your feet and your knives and your vengeance. That is all. He bites it down. Inej is not him, Inej is better than him. He cannot be anything for her, but he can be better than Dirtyhands.

“Keep your eyes on the stars, then,” he says, his mouth closing around his last bite, setting the plate next to him on the roof. “Perhaps they, of all things in this world, will be unpredictable.” His words bite with sarcasm, but they are not cruel.

Inej sets her own bowl down too. “Thank you,” she repeats again, and then turns to face him, that gaze which had been observing galaxies. “Do you know much about the stars?”

“I know they’re balls of gas. They’re nothing mythical, like your sun summoners and shadow summoners would have you think. If we got close, I’d think durasts could have their fun with them.”

“It’s nice to pretend,” she says with a flush of her cheeks. “You could pretend, Kaz.”

“Pretend what, Inej?” he doesn’t need to say her name but he does, hoping she doesn’t catch the way his mouth shapes her name, like a benediction. “Pretend like your prayers go to some mythical powers beyond the sky? There is nobody watching over me.”

“You’re wrong,” Inej says. “You could pretend that balls of light floating in the sky are sacred. What’s stopping you?”

“Presence of mind.”

“Sometimes I hate you,” Inej says, absentmindedly. He knows she is joking and he doesn’t know why that still stings. He cannot say the same back. He cannot even press a lie that Inej is not important to him to his lips. He is ridiculous.

“I paid for your dinner, Ghafa,” he says. She giggles a bit at that, laying against the chimney, and then fades off. He dares to look at her again and sees her leaning against the heat, her eyes half-closed in a strange smile.

“That you did, Kaz.” She says his name so often when he speaks. He’s not sure why—perhaps it’s something she does in Suli, and she is unused to Kerch language. He thinks about teaching her how to read on his floor almost a year ago, and he wants to kill into silence and cut himself out of this sky. He’s Kaz Brekker, he needs to be better than this.

They should go. He has work to do, she should meet Nina and Jesper. They should go, but they don’t. They sit on the Inn and stare at the stars in the distance together until the sun carves itself over the horizon and reminds Kaz that this cannot be his story.

[takaraphoenix]

Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge 2019

Fandom: Shadowhunters Ship: Raphael Santiago/Simon Lewis/Jace Herondale Tags: ABOverse, sex positive ace Jace, sex repulsed ace Raphael Summary: The story of how Raphael helped Jace come to terms with his asexuality and then, inexplicably, ended up joining Jace and Simon’s relationship, as told in seven parts. Part: 7/7 AO3 Link Here

"...And the princess saved the prince and they rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after."

Raphael carefully closed the book, aware that his audience had fallen asleep approximately five pages ago, but he also knew that the twins were very keen listeners. If Raphael stopped, they'd stir and complain and would be more awake than before, which was peculiar.

"You want me to take those off you?", offered Simon softly from the doorway.

He had been standing there for about ten pages now, arms crossed, fond look on his face and listening to Raphael reading the bedtime story. They usually alternated it, though it also depended on which one of them was at home. Occasionally, the Institute kept Jace out at evening or night, while Simon had his gigs and both Raphael and Simon had the clan-business to take care of too.

"How was your gig?", whispered Raphael as Simon took one of the twins.

"Good. I missed you and Jace. I know, I know, someone has to watch the kids... and the Institute doesn't run itself, but still", sighed Simon, kissing Rosa's head.

Rosa and Liliana Herondale. Their twins. Their beautiful, precious daughters. Liliana had the same golden-blonde hair as Jace, while Rosa had dark brown hair. Both were wearing their hair in pigtails. Sometimes, Raphael would simply sit at their bedside and marvel at them.

"Aren't they perfect?", whispered Raphael in awe as he adjusted Liliana on his arm.

Simon's face softened as he nodded. "They absolutely are. Our omega did great, mh?"

Jace had made this perfect little humans. Raphael? He had long since given up on having children of his own. Not just because of his asexuality, more so because of the vampirism. That was a thing that had hit Simon hard when he realized it, realized that as a vampire he couldn't have children of his own. He had always wanted a family with kids. Simon had only realized it when Jace had brought the issue up, four years ago. Both his vampire-boyfriends had been very subdued at that.

And it had hit Raphael as kind of ironic. After so many years, he had two lovers now, an alpha and an omega at that and both very sexually active with each other, thanks to Jace finding his own enjoyment in sex despite his asexuality. Yet their third was a vampire just like Raphael, which meant that regardless of how much sex Jace and Simon had with each other, the two would never produce any own children. The irony of that was truly biting.

They were all on the same page though. They all did want children. Raphael had considered it before, adoption. Just as Magnus had adopted him. But he hadn't trusted himself to do this all on his own, so he had never quite pulled through with it. And Simon, he had always dreamed of having kids running around, plural because as annoyed as he acted by his sister, he couldn't imagine growing up without her. Raphael had to share that sentiment. He missed Rosa so much.

Their brilliant, clever little omega however had known the perfect solution. Bartholomew Velasquez, the second in command of the wolf-pack, had after being asked volunteered to be their sperm-donor. Jace wanted children and he wanted to be pregnant, to experience that himself. He had wanted to carry his child, be what his own mother hadn't gotten to be with him.

It took some, but then Jace was pregnant. With twins, at that. Liliana and Rosa Herondale, the absolute pride and joy of Imogen Herondale, who could not love her great-granddaughters more. She had, surprisingly enough, also taken it rather well that her grandson was dating not just one but two vampires. They were strong, powerful and influential alphas, so maybe that played into it.

"You going to bring them to kindergarten tomorrow?", asked Simon. "Or should I?"

"I can do it. You take the early meeting for us then", nodded Raphael.

The greatest surprise that being mates with Jace Herondale had brought. When sealing the mate-bond and giving Jace the mate-bite, he drank from the blonde and it turned out that the golden-haired angel had very special blood. The blood that had turned Simon into a Daylighter a year before. Raphael had spent weeks just dazed, sitting in the sun and enjoying its warmth. Now that they had children, he was even more grateful for being a Daylighter, because he got to bring them to kindergarten, pick them up, play with them in the park.

"Jace is running late", noted Raphael with mild concern as they tucked the twins in.

"I'm not worried. You know since we had confirmation that it worked and he's pregnant again, he's not gone onto a single actual mission. He's being a good head of the Institute, doing desk-duty only", offered Simon with a shrug. "Maybe Alec is keeping him. You know the parabatai can get lost in each other when they hadn't gotten to spend time together in a while. Or Iz decided it's time for another check-up – you know how overly protective she is of her niece or nephew."

Raphael sighed and nodded before kissing Simon. "You're right. I just... worry."

Simon smiled at him and linked fingers with him. Together, the two made their way to their own bedroom and got changed and ready for bed. When they had sealed the mate-bond, Simon and Jace had moved into the penthouse with Raphael. For the first time, this place felt like an actual home, with Simon, Jace and the twins in it. The two vampires snuggled up to each other, Simon on his phone and Raphael taking the latest book he was reading. They always waited for their third to come home. Falling asleep with not all three of them in bed was simply not working. Even less so for the two alphas now that their omega was with child again.

"He—ey, I'm tired. I hate meetings. Meetings are stupid. I hate desk-jobs. Desk-jobs are stupid."

Raphael and Simon exchanged a fond smile as Jace came stumbling into the bedroom, collapsing face-first onto the bed right between his alphas. They adjusted to make room for him, putting the book and phone down to instead hug Jace. The omega made a soft, content purring noise.

"We agreed on this, for while you're pregnant. It was your idea, angel", noted Simon.

"I kno—ow. Doesn't make it less boring though", huffed Jace as he rolled onto his back.

Him and Alec were co-heads of the Institute, the parabatai ran it well together, but normally Jace was the more hands-on leader. He just couldn't without missions. Simon gently ran his fingers through Jace's hair, while Raphael rested a tentative hand on Jace's stomach.

"How are you two?", asked Raphael, smiling a little.

"Me? I'm great. Hating paperwork more and more with every day, but I'm great. And Helen and Izzy say that the baby is perfectly healthy too", offered Jace. "...They both insisted on a check-up. We're avoiding Catarina this week, fyi. I can't do three check-ups in one week."

"Duly noted", chuckled Raphael amused.

"How are my princesses?", asked Jace, peeking up at them. "I mean, they're asleep. I checked on them before I came to you two, obviously, but..."

"They were very well-behaved and enjoyed their day with abuelo Magnus", smirked Raphael.

"You're really determined to make them call him that", laughed Simon. "He is so pouty."

"Well, he should have considered that when he adopted me", argued Raphael casually. "My children will call him abuelo, there is no way around it, period."

Jace smiled pleased at that and nuzzled into Raphael's chest. Simon wrapped his arms around Jace from behind, spooning him and kissing his neck softly. These moments were what Raphael loved the most, when it was simply them, together, gentle and soft and calm.

"Imogen is going to come over tomorrow", yawned Jace. "She happens to be in New York, which I am totally not buying, she just wants to spoil her great-granddaughters some more."

"Mh, I'm always happy to cook for her, she really appreciates it", smiled Raphael.

"She really does. She also thinks you're the greatest gentleman ever, perfect grandson-in-law."

"And what am I? Chopped liver?", huffed Simon offended.

"I mean, you're no Raph", teased Jace and turned enough to Simon. "But you're not bad yourself."

Raphael smiled at that, looking at the two men he loved, his family, feeling overcome with warmth.

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Nutteh!

You have been accepted for the role of MARY MACDONALD, with your requested faceclaim change to Imogen Poots! I really loved the way you brought Mary to life! I could tell through your application that you truly understood what this version of Mary Macdonald, a character who often gets pushed to the side, is all about! I’m so happy to see you embracing her dark parts. I am so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Nutteh

AGE: 26

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I work full-time, but one para interaction per week is more than doable. When I get into something, I get really into it.

ANYTHING ELSE: No. 

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Mary MacDonald

AGE: 20

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-female, she/her. She is bisexual, if she had to identify herself, but truth be told the idea of placing her heart in anyone's hands - be they male, female, or anything in between - is a daunting proposition. 

BLOOD STATUS: Muggle-born

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: I'd like to change her FC to Imogen Poots, if possible. She has a slightly softer look than Emma Mackey, but there's an underlying darkness - a potential for darkness - that I think is important for Mary's faceclaim.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY: 

Mary MacDonald is good at “soldiering on.” She is adaptable, capable of flexibility when it means a better chance of achieving her goals. A hectic family life prepared her for such a thing. Navigating the streets and slums of Glasgow at a young age made her a direct-line thinker; when the only goal was survival, it was hard not to be steadfast in one’s endeavors. The Sorting Hat debated putting her in Slytherin for that reason, which is perhaps why she’s so close with Alice, but it’s not a trait that makes her particularly gregarious. She finds it difficult to be a devoted and dependable friend when she is wary of people’s intentions, and Mulciber’s attack only exaggerated that part of her psyche. It’s unfortunate, as her splintered relationship with her family has left her in desperate need of real friends. Always a worrier, Mary is used to thinking ahead; but, after she emerged from her fifth year with that long, nasty scar across her cheek, she was convinced she’d grown soft. Her need to be one step ahead of everyone else has morphed into a kind of high-functioning anxiety. She and fear are close fellows and she hates it, but at this point she has become quite good at using it to drive her.      

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

Mary was born in Glasgow, Scotland to eighteen-year-old newlyweds Richard and Ruthie MacDonald. The pride of Mary's young life came from pointing at her parents' few grainy wedding photos - "That's me!" she screamed, jabbing a finger at her mother's swollen belly, straining beneath her wedding dress. Her elder brother Adam, however, was a more concrete installment; he stared blankly at the camera from his perch in Ruthie’s arms, not at all moved by the joyful occasion.  Love ruled the MacDonald household - it had to, as they didn’t have much else. Two more children followed - Patrick and little Holly - and Mary knew nothing but family. All six MacDonalds lived in a three-bedroom flat above Ed’s Bakery, a rather seedy establishment with an owner whose heart was far bigger than he let on. Richard built ships and worked long hours, and Ed employed Ruthie downstairs. Mary’s childhood was filled with the scent of baking (and sometimes burning) bread, and it was spent leading hodge-podge football matches in the back alley. Underneath it all, though, was a kind of dutiful sobriety; she wanted to be like the other children at her muggle primary school, seemingly carefree, but there were things to be done and things to be taken care of at home and she didn't know how to not care. 

That was why it was so jarring when her Hogwarts letter arrived, accompanied by a witch with square spectacles (who, it can be noted, took quite a liking to Ed’s biscuits). Mary’s magical abilities revealed themselves late and subtly; footballs seemed to do exactly as she willed them during games with her siblings, and any spats she had in Ed’s shop mysteriously set the baked goods to burning. The news that she was a witch, however, was somehow less unfathomable than the idea of being away from her family for nine months out of the year. She was used to being surrounded by them, by focusing only on their well-being and their survival; she didn’t know how to have thoughts that didn’t include them. Ruthie and Richard were proud and very supportive of their daughter’s new endeavor - at times, perhaps too supportive. Mary would never admit it, but she agonized over their eagerness and enthusiasm for most of her first year. Were they glad to be rid of her? Were they happy to have one less mouth to feed? She missed them and her siblings something awful, but as time went on she made peace with the anxious squall in her head. To this day it’s unclear, but if her mother and father did want to get rid of her she doesn’t blame them. Their family was a loving family, but it was also a hectic one; as Mary grew older and wiser (or perhaps more cynical?), she became inwardly critical of her parents. Why have so many children if you don’t have the means to care for them? She used to believe love was enough, but when her little brother Patrick was sent to prison for robbery shortly before her graduation, she wasn’t so sure. Perhaps this was why her relationship with her family, once so strong she could scarcely think of anything else, faded. It was gradual, but she was engrossed in a new world while they stayed engrossed in theirs - they had to. They taught her hard work and flexibility, but they both intentionally and unintentionally taught her to protect herself. Despite Richard and Ruthie’s example, Mary learned how to dodge missteps, how to keep from acting rashly and damaging any chance of her own survival. Of course, the more sinister and dire the war becomes, the further she strays from self-control.    

OCCUPATION: 

Mary was fifteen when she was attacked; she was fifteen when she was left panting against the wall of a third-floor corridor, clutching her face as portraits screamed and gasped around her. She was in the thick of her O.W.L.s when Mulciber, a boy two years her senior, unleashed his prejudice upon her, and she only wished he’d done it sooner. If he’d had the sense to do it before she started studying, she would have known what to say when asked about career choices. The attack had done everything it wasn’t meant to do; instead of silencing her, it made her bolder. Instead of making her shrink away from magic, it spurred her on, adding fuel to a fire she’d been allowing to smolder inside her. 

Upon graduation, however, Mary was at a crossroads. She wanted desperately to be an auror, but the Ministry was beyond corrupt and she knew better than to expect anything from it. She idled, working odd bartending shifts at The Leaky Cauldron whilst scanning the Prophet behind the bar. That’s where Dumbledore found her, and his proposition to join the fledgeling Order of the Phoenix wasn’t one she had to think much about. Still, it wasn’t making her any money - organizing against dark wizards wasn’t a job, especially the slow, hum-drum way the Order went about it. As good as she was at getting by with very little, she needed something more. 

The first time she heard his name was during an Order meeting, said with an air of discomfort and slight distaste. He was one of those radicals, one of those militant rebels who found murder a perfectly good way to deal with Voldemort’s regime. Both confirmed and suspected Dark Lord followers were turning up dead all over Europe, and Mary’s skin prickled. The Order did not endorse him, but she met with him in secret; if anyone were to find out or ask her about her current employment, she’d maintain that she has to make a living somehow. It’s an excuse that doesn’t quite fit, but working underground as an assassin, for lack of a better word, keeps her out of the public eye and in a stream of steady income (sometimes more than steady, and in Mulciber’s case, sometimes out of the goodness of her heart).        

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: 

The speed with which she rose through the ranks came as a surprise, though not to Mary. It was poetic, really - a muggle-born barrelling her way into the “inner circle” - but she didn’t allow herself to think about what it all meant. Every now and then she wondered if her recruitment was meant to be more of a statement than an actual tactical move, but in the end it didn’t matter. If it started as a statement, fine. If Dumbledore recognized the need, the hunger for revenge eating her from the inside out, that was fine too. How she got there wasn’t as important as what she was doing now that she was here, and Mary clings to that thought. She isn’t blind to the Order’s setbacks, but she is comforted by all they have done - all she has done. After the attack during her fifth year, she often wondered why Mulciber didn’t kill her. He had the chance, didn’t he? Why hesitate? Well, she didn’t hesitate, and sleep comes quicker now than it has in years.  

SURVIVAL: 

Preservation is a strong instinct for Mary - she’s good at surviving. Glasgow was in a period of economic decline while she was growing up in its underbelly, and she learned how to avoid trouble, how to avoid being robbed (not that she had anything of value). This was why, as much as Mulciber’s attack drove her forward, it also shocked her and gave her self-esteem a firm shove backward. How did he sneak up on her? Why didn’t she expect anything? Why wasn’t she ready for him? Since then she has worked hard and resolved to be more prepared, more perceptive; it seems all well and good, but she has heard the term “trigger-happy” thrown around more than once. As much as her vigilance has helped her, it’s also made her somewhat of a liability.  

RELATIONSHIPS: 

At this point, Mary’s relationships with the rest of the “inner circle” are strained. She’s been successful so far, hasn’t she? So why do these men (save for Alice, and what the fuck is that all about?) seem so keen on dismissing everything she says? She’s taken Death Eaters down before, likely more than her peers know, but they’re so focused on outwitting and outmaneuvering the opposition that they’re forgetting the merits of just going for it. That’s why the methods of the newest recruits have her straining to hear their conversations, glancing sideways at them as she heads for “inner circle” meetings. Dorcas, Emma, and Benjy are people of action, and Mary respects that. It’s only a matter of time before she offers her help, especially if things keep slogging along like they currently are. 

Her relationship with her family is all but nonexistent. It’s been a year and a half since she saw her parents, and Adam doesn’t write to her anymore - that stopped before her fourth year. The distance became too great to bridge with friendly letters, and now Mary doesn’t know how best to do it. Besides, she doesn’t have the time, and sometimes she feels that the farther away she is, the better it is for them.    

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: I ship Mary/Chemistry. It's hard to know exactly what her relationships to other characters entail at this point, but if accepted I am happy to discuss those in depth with my fellow players.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE? 

I suppose Mary has had the luxury of seeing the muggle and wizarding worlds as two separate entities. She isn’t totally naive - she knows muggles aren’t immune to the unseen war raging among them - but given her experience as a muggle-born with a more or less indifferent family, she can’t help but see a stark line between the two. So far her parents and siblings remain unaffected, and that makes it difficult for her to understand the plights and fears of her fellow muggle-borns, especially ones with strong, lasting familial bonds. 

When it comes to wealth, she has a gigantic chip on her shoulder as well; she appreciates the Potters’ and McKinnons’ generosity, but she never allows herself to stay at their estates for long. Seeing the sheer scale of their fortunes sometimes makes her sick, nevermind that they’ve been nothing but kind to her.    

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 

I'm looking forward to dabbling in Marauders' Era again. It's been ages, and there might have been some light peer pressure involved in my applying at all. But now that I've done it I'm really excited! One thing that I think always turned me away from Marauders' Era was the fact that there was a concrete endgame. We know what happens to these characters, so exploring the bits in between seemed silly to me. Now I'm starting to understand the draw, and I think this roleplay being AU is opening a lot of doors and making me feel less constricted.

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

I’d really like to play with Mary’s questionable occupation. She has focused on targets with stark, black-and-white, obvious loyalties to the Dark Arts so far, but I think it’d be fun to have her confront a gray area - perhaps being sent for someone who is good and does good but doesn’t set themselves firmly against Voldemort? Perhaps someone within the Order? I want her job to become a source of contention within the Order if/when the other members find out.  

ANYTHING ELSE? Nope!

[igagliano]

                         “but most miserable is the desire that's glorious: blest be those,                                       how mean soe’er, that have their honest wills,                                                      which seasons comfort.”

                                                                                                         -- IMOGEN                                                                                     cymbaline: act i, scene 6

                                          basic information.

FULL NAME: Isabella Elena Gagliano PRONUNCIATION:  ‎iz-ah-BEHL-ah  eh-LAY-nah gAHg-lee-ah-no MEANING:

ISABELLA (circa. Spain) -- pledged to God; God is bountiful

“Qué linda, qué hermosa--nuestro amor. Gracias a Dio.” These are some of the earliest phrases that she can remember coming from Candela and Emilio Gagliano throughout her childhood. Affectionately nicknamed Bella from an early age, the Gagliano child has never been a stranger to beloved adoration. Every morning, her parents would shower the beautiful babe with kisses; every night, they would get on their knees and pray at the side of the crib, thanking God for the gift He deigned to give them. 

ELENA (circa. Greece) -- shining light; the bright one

Candela Gagliano knew what she was doing when she looked down at her darling baby and decided to gift her with a middle name full of light and brightness. That is what Isabella was to the Gagliano family: a bundle of light that, when cultivated as sweetly as she’d been, would one day righteously burn anyone who dared to try to snuff her out. 

GAGLIANO (circa. Italy/Germany) -- joyous; brave

There’s bravery in looking the hurricane in the eye and now cowering, but winking. There’s bravery in relying on words and ink rather than guns and bullets--this ideology has been absorbed by the little canary who prefers to sing her truths rather than fight battles that she knows she’s ill-equipped for. She takes immense joy in dealing justice--a rarity, especially in a place such as Verona.

NICKNAME(S): Isa, Izzy, Bella, Bells, Bell, Imogen PREFERRED NAME(S): Isa, Izzy, Isabella BIRTH DATE: October 11, 1994 AGE: 24 ZODIAC: Libra GENDER: Female PRONOUNS: She / her(s) / they / them / theirs ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual CURRENT LOCATION: Verona, Italy LIVING CONDITIONS: Comfortable and modest. La justicia is far from rich, though they are not poor. TITLE(S): the justice, la justicia, il giornalista, editor 

                                                background.

BIRTH PLACE: Salamanca, Spain SOCIAL CLASS: Upper-middle class EDUCATION LEVEL: BA in Literature and Journalism FATHER: Emilio Gagliano -- It’s no surprise that Emilio Gagliano’s works have earned him the gilded favor of those in positions of power. He was a man that stood for justice and refused to crack under pressure; he was a man who called for morality and improvements far louder than those vying for its death and decay. MOTHER: Candela (neé Russo) Gagliano -- Conversely, Candela was the champion of the underdogs, the one that was beloved by the outcasts of society. She wrote for the downtrodden, those who were left to bear the weight thrust upon them by those far more fortunate.  SIBLING(S): n/a BIRTH ORDER: n/a CHILDREN: n/a PET(S): One -- A female Dalmatian named Themis. (x) OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: n/a PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: There’s a handful of carefully-restitched hearts left in their wake--that Isabella Gagliano who could never find anything or anyone worth enough to keep them in one place.  ARRESTS/PRISON TIME?: n/a

                                      occupation & income.

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: il Giornale di Verona. Isa works for Verona’s main newspaper outlet, and has since climbed the ranks with vigor (and, in climbing ranks, has increased their own salary). SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Freelance writing. You’d be remiss to think that la justicia works for Verona and Verona alone--after all, she is a Gagliano. Anything published through this means, however, are claimed by an IMOGEN.  TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: [REDACTED] CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: Isabella Gagliano is incredibly pleased with her occupation, especially since il giornale tends to turn a blind eye to her methods of getting information that was once closed off to the common Veronan--and those hungry for the truth know better than to look a gift horse in its mouth. PAST JOB(S): Waitress (multiple times in multiple places) SPENDING HABITS: Unlikely to splurge unless it’s something that really moves them, or it’s for someone they love. Other than that, Isabella has moderate spending habits; sure, there are some superfluous purchases (yet another dog toy for Themis, another set of multi-colored ink pens for themselves, etc.) but they make sure necessities are taken care of, first. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: A golden heart-shaped locket (x) given to her by Celeste Duval. Inside, there is a faded-but-well-preserved picture of the two of them together--unabashedly happy and unapologetically in love.

                                          skills & abilities.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: Spanish, Italian, conversational Russian, English DRIVE?: Yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: Yes. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: No. RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes. SWIM?: Yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: No. PLAY CHESS?: No. BRAID HAIR?: Yes. TIE A TIE?: Yes. PICK A LOCK?: Yes.

                 physical appearance & characteristics.

FACE CLAIM: Brittany O’Grady (x, x, x) EYE COLOR: Brown HAIR COLOR: Deepest brunette - the darkest brown, which can be a very dark chestnut; sometimes appears to be off black at a distance. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: 3A/B - or curly with well-defined and springy coils that have a loopy, “S” shaped pattern.  GLASSES/CONTACTS?: Reading glasses, used sparingly at night (and usually worn at home) when going through soon-to-be-published works with a fine-toothed come.  DOMINANT HAND: Right TATTOOS: One - a scripted-font ‘C’ behind her left ear for Celeste PIERCINGS: Three - lobe piercings and a tragus piercing on her right ear. MARKS/SCARS:  NOTABLE FEATURES: Well-defined and thick eyebrows. USUAL EXPRESSION: Inquisitive, guarded. ALLERGIES: Seasonal allergies.

                                               psychology.

JUNG TYPE: ENTP (”The Debater”) - The Debater personality type is the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. This tactic shouldn’t be confused with the sort of mutual understanding Diplomat personalities seek – Debaters, like all Analyst personality types, are on a constant quest for knowledge, and what better way to gain it than to attack and defend an idea, from every angle, from every side? (x) MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good - A chaotic good character acts as their conscience directs them with little regard for what others expect of them. They make their own way, but are kind and benevolent. They hate it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. They follow their own moral compass, which, although (subjectively) good, may not agree with that of society. (x) TEMPERAMENT: Choleric-Melancholic - The Choleric-Melancholy combination is driven by two needs. Their primary need is to get results. The secondary need is to do things right. Either need may dominate their behavior depending on the requirements of the situation. When the Choleric and the Melancholy tendencies are combined, it produces a result-oriented, detailed person, who plans and pushes their way through life. (x) ELEMENT: Fire. PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: Linguistic - People who develop linguistic intelligence tend to demonstrate a greater ability to express themselves well both verbally and in writing. This type of person has very strong awareness and an ability to easily understand the viewpoint of others. Associated with the left side of the brain. (x) SOCIABILITY: Depends on who you ask. They’re sociable and enjoyable to be around, so long as you aren’t under their scrutiny. COMPULSION(S): Checking the locks in their home before going to bed. PHOBIA(S): Claustrophobia. DRUG USE: No. ALCOHOL USE: Occasionally. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: Only in self-defense.

                                                 mannerisms. 

NERVOUS TICKS: Taking note of all possible exits around, the fear settling heavily in their stomach, the tightening of jaws, the miniscule-flaring of nostrils, the shifting of weight from one side to the other. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: To bring the elite of the bloodied city to their knees and have them answer for their crimes, to write as their mother taught them, to remain as unyielding as her father, to fulfill the promise made between her and her benefactor. Additionally, love. FEARS: Losing Celeste, losing the ability to write, defamation of their character POSITIVE TRAITS: Headstrong, resourceful, creative NEGATIVE TRAITS: Argumentative, insensitive, impractical DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: Not unless spurred by unchecked emotions. 

                                                     attitudes.

GREATEST DREAM: To be the catalyst in what dismantles Verona’s hideous war; to write enough that, maybe someday, someone will be able to do more than she GREATEST FEAR: Receiving punishment for the means in which she gets information for il Giornale MOST AT EASE WHEN: Home, with Celeste Duval. Home, curled on her couch with Themis by her side and her computer on her lap--writing, of course. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: At unexpected gatherings called for and/or sponsored by the Capulets or Montagues. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Being accused of being in la mafia. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: Becoming an editor at il Giornale di Verona. BIGGEST REGRET: Waiting too long and missing the chance to ask Celeste to marry her. Not coming to Verona sooner. BIGGEST SECRET: [REDACTED] TOP PRIORITIES: Exposing the mobs, keeping loved ones safe and helping them, staying alive

[silkiemae]

City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare My rating: 3 of 5 stars Alright, ya'll. I enjoyed City of Ashes a bit more than City of Bones writing-wise. You can see Cassandra improving as an author the more she writes, and I always appreciate that. This is a reread for me since I've read this series up until Dark Artifices but also skipped out on a lot. I'm not going to spend much time mentioning HP comparisons because I feel like it's been done to death in other reviews. The only one I feel the need to say is how the Inquisitor was such a heavy-handed attempt at making someone similar to Umbridge. But in the end, I felt sorry for Imogen. More on that later. A quick note about Shadowhunters as a whole: When reading a fantasy book about a made-up world, sometimes it's a world you want to go live in and become one of the magical creatures in said world. For example, everyone wants to go to Hogwarts. That's the most obvious one, but it's also the truest. We all want to go to the motherfucking school of Witchcraft and Wizardry and learn some magic. I don't think anyone would actively choose to be a Shadowhunter. I can't imagine wanting to join a society of prejudiced assholes who believe they are better than everyone else just because they've got some Angel blood. They shit on anyone they see as less than them, and Clary was very quick to adopt that mentality when spending time with Isabelle, Alec and Jace in COB. I like the narrative CC created of these people being anuses and then Clary coming into their world with her werewolf stepdad and her vampire best friend and being like, lol, look at my Downworlder pals tho,, you guys. They're not that bad! Also, Shadowhunters are homophobes! When Clary asks Isabelle if Alec is gay, she breaks down in tears and says that if their parents were to find out, they'd strip his marks and disown him. Naturally, this doesn't happen once Alec comes out but still. On to the story. This is going to be like a character ranting as the story goes on. So, enjoy. I know we're meant to think that Maryse(I still can't say her name) is initially being a cold-hearted bitch to Jace. She thinks Jace is in league with Valentine and kicks him out of the Institute for it. But the thing is, I don't blame her for thinking that. At the end of City of Bones, Jace was ready to forget everything he'd been told about Valentine and side with his dad. He was willing to pretend like Valentine didn't murder a bunch of Downworlder or his grandparents until Clary gas-lighted him into realizing the truth. Now he acts shocked that people suspect him of siding with his dad. Well, you did initially side with him, bro! Get some therapy for your daddy issues. Jace's refusal to visit Jocelyn is ridiculous. He reasons that she abandoned him and wanted nothing to do with him even though he's been repeatedly told by multiple people that she thought he was dead. Yet, he still shuns any attempt Clary makes to get him to connect with their mother. I didn't like him much in City of Bones, I thought his arrogance was a turn-off, and now this makes me dislike him even more. It's like he got too comfortable playing his sad orphan boy routine, and now he doesn't want to accept that maybe he has a non-abusive parent. Oh, wait, no, it's because he desperately doesn't want Clary to be his sister and therefore doesn't want to share her mother. A weird thing to do, Jace. Stop thirsting after your sister. Simon lost points with me the second I realized he was a weeaboo. He changed an anime because, I quote, 'no one ever has sex'. It should be mentioned that he was watching this anime with Clary at the time. Like, oh, let's just casually watch some Hentai. Also, he cannot read the room at all. I can't believe he thought kissing Clary with everything going on was a good idea. Not only is her mom in a coma, her stepdad a werewolf, and her real dad an evil mastermind, but she just found out she's part of an elite race of demon hunters, and her mother has been lying to her her whole life. Oh, and she's in love with her brother, which Simon knows very well. Yet, he still kisses her. And Clary is too much of an idiot to stop him or reject him, so she lets it happen, and then pity dates him the whole book. Like, how embarrassing for him. I like Maia. I like her toughness and how she fights her own battles(primarily). I like that she calls Jace out on his bullshit, and she doesn't take crap from anyone. I like her healthy wariness of attractive men because it is such a real thing. If you've ever dealt with good-looking men who think that the sun shines out of their asses and are trash, you'll know that feeling well. Also, the fact that Maia immediately thought of her abusive brother when she met Jace is very telling. I trust her judgment far more than I trust Clary's, let's just say. Jace continues to prove he is the most enormous prick ever. I get it; you had the saddest life ever. Your dad abused you as a child, faked his death and let you believe it for years, and then came back to life and manipulated you even more. You're in love with your sister. Your mom, whom you thought abandoned you, actually thought you were dead this whole time but is now in a coma. Like yes, all of this sucks. That doesn't mean you should LAUGH in someone's face after they find the body of a dead child. Imagine being anyone who met Jace and Clary when they thought they were brother and sister. You would firstly be disturbed as fuck at how weirdly intimate they are with one another, and then a few weeks/months later, when you see them again, they're dating. You'd be like...uhhhh???? And then they would have to explain their relationship to everyone so people wouldn't look at them with disgust. Real talk, I'd still judge them even after their explanation. Simon proves that he is nothing more than an idiot friend-zone guy. I see now that Robert Sheehan in the film adaptation is what made me like him. Now, I see Simon as a pathetic dweeb with occasional decent quips. Maryse’s logic of bullying Jace out of the institute makes no sense. So let me get this straight. To avoid him having to face the Inquisitor, she accuses him of being in league with Valentine and essentially kicks him out without knowing or caring where he plans to go live. This is somebody she raised as her son for what was it ten years? And she…doesn’t give one fuck about Jace because he didn’t tell her Valentine was his dad? I don’t buy that for a second. But also, like, most of the Shadowhunters seem like absolute assholes, to begin with. Already Inquisitor Herondale is giving off Umbridge vibes. She is far too extreme already. She has some grudge against Valentine and is taking it out on his teenage son because that makes sense. She puts him in a scary prison cell for talking back to her. Logical. Clary meets Maia for the first time, and when Maia asks her if Jace is her brother, she DISLIKES MAIA’S INTRUSIVE CURIOSITY. You have no idea how much this made my fucking blood boil. SHE HAS SOME NEEEERVE. Miss “how did Jace’s dad die?” On day one of being in the Institute, it was legit NONE OF HER BUSINESSSSS. Does anyone else notice how Clary has a habit of initially disliking girls whom she finds prettier than her? Like why are you so threatened, girl? She did it with Isabelle in book one, and now she’s doing it with Maia. Saying that because Maia is a werewolf, she should be hirsute. Like, shut UP. Clary. Sorry did Clary invite Simon to have sex with Luke in the next room? They sleep in the same bed together all the time, and he’s asking her, ‘are you sure’ like they’re about to bone? In regards to the stele. I asked about their limitations in the last book because they seemed like a universal solvent for any problem. Hiding and need to spy? Use the stele. Broke your arm? Use the stele. But at the same time, it can’t heal poisons from a Greater Demon, nor can it unlock a door but can somehow block the same entry against pursuit. An iratze is their healing rune, and I still have no idea what it can do. It makes Jace’s bruises disappear but doesn’t remove his body aches or dizziness? What’s the point of only healing him on the surface? (Apparently, the aches and dizziness were due to lack of food, but couldn’t an iratze stave that off?) In COB, there was no unlocking rune, but in this, Clary has the most powerful open rune ever. I know she has the power to make new runes, but they claim the open rune existed before this. And judging by how Clary recalls runes, they just come to them as needed? Like they don’t have to memorize the runes. I find it unbelievable that people would automatically accuse the vampires of the killings. Like yes, they were drained of blood, but they had their throats slit, and every Shadowhunter would be well aware that vampires have fangs. Why would they slit their throats? My first thought would’ve been the warlocks, tbh. Sliced throats and blood collections usually mean a ritual of some kind. I liked the introduction to faeries. I’m big into faerie folklore and usually like seeing the author’s interpretation of it. I love the twist on faeries being the spawn of angels and demons, and I like that all the customary laws apply to them still. (No lying, no eating their food or drinks, no dancing with them, and no iron.) I like that the Seelie Queen is a tricksy manipulative bitch. Though I enjoyed that scene, it felt like an excuse to get Jace and Clary to make out and gross all of us out. I know they’re not related, but THEY don’t know they’re not related, and it’s so GRODY. I keep thinking, what happens when they finally date and have to explain to everyone that they’re not related. They only thought they were and then like…what expressions/reactions they’d have. I’m desperate to witness that conversation. Simon is so stupid. He got so butthurt over Clary making out with Jace(they were forced to, bro, it’s not about you.) that he went and got himself turned into a vampire. His reaction made no sense, though, is the thing. He knew Clary loved Jace, yet he still thought it was a good idea to try and date her. Sure, most normal people would be disgusted at lusting after their brother but not Clary. She continues to pine away, and considering she hasn’t vented her disgust to Simon; he clearly knows she’s still into Jace. So why did he let himself get so bothered by this? Also, Clary punishes herself by ignoring Jace. Like….bitch, come on. I can’t believe they thought it was a good idea to let Simon go home and sleep under the same roof as his mom when he had been turned into a vampire. Also, naturally, Clary is making it about her. I would have liked to see Simon’s actual emotions about being turned into a vampire. Like the experience of it, etc. I feel like we don’t get much of it? We get a POV right after he’s turned, but he’s just talking about Clary and how tiny she looks and shit. And like, idk I think Simon is pathetic at this point. Why would you WANT Clary to date you knowing she doesn’t love you and shit. Like the thought of dating someone and them having to ‘try and be happy with me’ because they can’t be with the person, they want to be with sounds like a nightmare?? Why would you even want that? I think he and Maia would’ve been an adorable couple. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Jace is the absolute dumbest bitch and goes to see Valentine and then acts shocked when the Inquisitor knows about it. That woman is a psycho who has it out for you, bro. You should know better. Also, she is so extra. Breaking Jace’s mirror was so mean, and like I wish someone would’ve yelled at her for doing it. The relationship between Magnus and Alec isn’t as excellent as I recall. I think my young, naive self didn’t see how icky it was for this centuries-old warlock to spend all his time with a group of 17-year-olds. And then proceeds to date one. Like it’s creepy, but I accept it’s a common theme in fantasy writing. (Centuries-old vampire dates a 17-year-old girl is so overdone) I felt like we got cheated out of this relationship. CC includes povs from multiple characters, which is one of the reasons I like this book. I always prefer books with various POVs from the third person because it feels like you get the most out of the story. But that’s just a personal preference. I still feel like CC could’ve utilized it better because she could’ve written from Alec’s perspective?? And told us about how he and Magnus got together, etc. Yet we like kind of vaguely hears about it as background info. Instead, we have to read about two siblings who are not siblings but think they’re siblings pining after one another. Where’s that gay representation, Cassandra?? What's with Cassandra's obsession with coffee and cats? I'm noticing a theme here. Everyone likes to drink coffee(I can't relate), and the only pet anyone has is a cat. Magnus has a cat; the Institute has a cat, and Simon has a cat. Does no one like dogs? The boat scene was fun. I may or may not ship Jace and Simon a little bit now after that whole part. Also, naturally, Clary has to have some extraordinary power. And I'm glad Simon finally learned and ended things with Clary. The entire book had me wanting to punch him. Oh, the thing with Imogen. I felt bad for her in the end! Like yes, she was the most extra but she thought she was alone in the world and died seconds after finding out that she wasn't. :( Noted inconsistencies. In the last book, when the wolves shifted, their fur grew over their clothes, but here, when we’re told about Maia’s first shift, it says she woke up naked miles from her home. How is that possible if the fur is meant to grow over their clothing? Also, how could Jordan possibly speak to Maia while in his wolf form after he attacked her? We were also told in COB that Luke’s weapon of choice was the crossbow because of his ‘perfect aim and eyesight’, yet he wears glasses. But now it has changed to his good eyesight is only in wolf form, which doesn’t make sense because he used the crossbow in his shadow hunting days. I highly doubt the werewolf’s eyes deteriorate, so he had to have worn the glasses before being bitten. So again, HOW COULD HE HAVE PERFECT AIM AND EYESIGHT IF HE WEARS GLASSES, HUH? Notes made while reading * Oh my god, is Bat the bartender also DJ Bat from Club Pandemonium?? Also, if Maia is only 15 and she dated a guy old enough to bartend and DJ….??? *barf* View all my reviews

[sparring-spirals]

There is a universe in which i was caught up properly on CR whenever what the fuck went down and Imogen verbally and definitively declared that- after everything leading up to this and the back and forth and indecision- that she'd be willing to take down her mom if need be. and i would have been deeply insufferable and writing 20+ separate meta posts and liveblog yelling posts and shitposts. This is not that universe so instead we will put this post here where i can have wildly uninformed (aka 20 eps behind) Emotions about it until someday i actually catch up.

(I know. i accidentally wrote potentially wildly off base/deeply out of date meta again. what can i say. i like shaking the concept of An Imogen (even if it is Outdated Imogen) in a jar. sorry.)

Because i was watching long enough, I think, to see Imogen in the throes of the hope for something better, to understand that Imogen was viewing her mom was a figure and an idea and an answer, that would make things easier. Her mom was- gone, so early. And so her mom, in her mind, was not a person she was an idea, and there was so much hinged on that! Dogged determination and anger at her father and a deep seated dislike of the powers in her hands and head even as they gave her a guilty rush. There were promises there that maybe no one else had made, but Imogen believed. Things built up. Expectations made. Lore crafted, even unconsciously, around someone who was, yes, important to Imogen, but more importantly: Missing. Gone. A blank slate to be filled in. A promise of an answer guide to open questions.

And then she meets her mom, and Liliana Temult goes from a figure to a person- with all the bells and whistles and rough edges. She meets her mom and her mom turns her away. Tells her to run. Tells her she should go. Tells her to leave.

And Imogen doesn't. In the same way she kept visiting libraries, keps asking, kept pushing for answers when it was just about her magic and her headaches and the voices. Imogen always, always wants to know. She keeps digging, she keeps trying, she reaches out, over and over and keeps trying to touch this figure in mist until she's real under her hands, and. Evidence piles up- of deeds gone wrong, blood on her hands, a figure standing next to Otohan (her friends bodies scattered, lifeless, around Otohan). She keeps reaching out, keeps trying, and is rebuffed, over and over. Things get worse and the skies get redder and magic goes dead and she's still- unsure, because what if there's a better reason, what if there's a better way, there has to be a reason, why. There has to be, right- maybe if- maybe. Maybe-

Its just like- a person as an idea. As a symbol. As a promise. One you build yourself up around and towards. One you talk about, not talk to.

And then the fog clears, and they are a human.

(And she's your mom, and she's not what you imagined. She's done you wrong. She's done your loved ones wrong. She's hurt you. She's hurt others. She's going to keep hurting you. She is going to keep hurting everyone. She is too far gone to reason with. She is not listening to you. She is flawed. She is. dangerous. She looks so much like you. You look just like her. You are so similar. You have always known you were similar. You always hoped. You.

Are not her. You are not hers. She is not yours. She is not who you thought she was. She was always someone else. So are you.)

Imogen walks through the bases pretending to be her mother. Liliana is a known face- a powerful one, a figure people fear. A well known silhouette. Imogen slips into the shadows of it, sometimes, when it serves her, but we know- she knows- its all an act. All a lie.

Liliana, after all, is alive, and well, making choices that she believes in and fighting for things with a dogged determination maybe only matched by her daughter.

Imogen knows this. I think. There's a part of her that maybe wishes that wasn't the case.

"There is no loyalty with this blood." And after all- only living people bleed.

[utilitycaster]

Regarding people responding to the Gnarlrock scene between Imogen and Laudna by only focusing on how sad it makes Laudna, I have to wonder if it's another symptom of people ignoring what Laura Bailey does with her characters in favour of their own headcanons. There's a trend in fandom I've noticed, particularly in shipping spaces, that really "owo smol-bean"-ifies Imogen. Her problems exist not to drive her character forward and to give her conflict and development, but to be something Laudna can kiss and make better. So now that Imogen is having a (completely reasonable) issue with Laudna, people don't know how to reconcile that with the watered-down version of the character that exists in their heads.

I agree completely, and I'm grouping this with this other ask with which I also agree and then choosing extreme violence, after which I require that any further questions on this topic that aren't just "oh yeah makes sense" or whatever be both a. off anon and b. well-articulated with a reasoned argument and a thesis statement; anything else will be deleted.

Like, that's it in the end. How dare Laura's character be a independent being whose existence doesn't begin and end and fully center around someone else, whether it's her dead brother or a person with whom she's shipped? How dare she disagree with characters people like more? How dare she exercise any measure of agency that conflicts with the fandom's stupid-ass desires?

How dare Vex get married without Vax there even as he started his own relationship first and actively encouraged her to pursue her own romantic interests with her eventual husband? How dare she continue to live out her remaining 150 years of life without him and experience joy?

How dare Jester react positively when the person she'd indicated interest in reciprocated? How dare she choose a life of ongoing adventure and a home near her beloved mother instead of living as a housewife in a faraway foreign city where her god is illegal? How dare she not read the minds of the people who have crushes on her and know how they feel and respond accordingly?

How dare Imogen focus on her own, lifelong, painful problem and the loss of a potential solution instead of dropping everything and focusing on Laudna's problems instead? How dare she feel upset about this? How dare she get in the way of my fabricated picture of perfect girlfriends who have zero problems or obstacles?

How dare this woman be angry? How dare this woman have feelings I don't share about the situation? How dare this woman display even a shred of self-interest that isn't completely in service to someone else's goals? How dare that dumb bitch do what she wants and not what I want?

I deleted an ask this morning that was like "it feels like you're invalidating people who are sympathetic towards Laudna" like first off I'm specifically calling out people who are sympathetic towards Laudna and not towards Imogen which is absolutely crucial context and second of all yeah. I do not think you're valid. That's the fucking point. You're not entitled to my validation, and you don't have it. If you act like this? I think your opinions are garbage. If you need my agreement to feel valid, that's extremely not my problem (and, honestly, you're just giving me more proof as my whole point here is "sometimes people disagree with you and that is entirely their right and if you think the mere existence of disagreement is invalidating, you suck so fucking much.") Develop a sense of inherent self worth and/or develop better opinions, and either way, leave me out of it.

[wariswonhq]

Maeve Finnigan, 24, Gryffindor Alum, Margaret Qualley FC, RETIRED.

Birthday: February 22 Blood Status: Half blood Gender & Pronouns: Cis-female, she/her Occupation: Photographer for the Daily Prophet Sided with: Neutral

Personality

Positive Traits: Passionate, Creative, Loyal Negative Traits: Impulsive, Flighty, Stubborn Summary: Maeve has always been a free spirit. She is passionate and creative and sometimes misunderstood by the people around her. Her loyalty to her family and her friends is well known amongst her circle of friends, and there is really nothing that she wouldn’t do for the people that she loves and cares for. She has a tendency to become enamored by something or someone and then she moves on to the next thing on a whim. She loves art and drawing and painting when she is patient enough to actually sit down and do it. Her mother always lamented that she would never stick with something long enough to get really good at it. A lot of people think of her as flighty and irresponsible but Maeve prefers to think that she follows her heart and does what she needs to for herself. She has a tendency to be incredibly stubborn and is known to hold a grudge if you hurt someone that she cares for. She often makes her mind up and will dig her heels in even when confronted with another possibility. She is the kind of person that would rather act first and ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission to do something. 

Growing up:

The daughter of a muggle and a witch, Maeve was the middle child of seven. Patrick Murphy did the best that he could to support the family, working as a sailor, he was often away from the family. Maeve’s mother, Keira, frequently took in laundry and worked as a seamstress. They didn’t have much but they were a happy family. All of Maeve’s clothes were handmedowns from her older sisters, but it never mattered to her. She was happy spending her days running along the coast playing and doing odd jobs for people in town.

 Maeve was always closest to her older sister Imogen. Despite how close the two were, Maeve and Imogen couldn’t be more different. Where Imogen was docile and a strict rule follower, Maeve was fiery and skirted the rules whenever she could. Maeve would frequently climb trees, skinning her knees and ruining another dress while Imogen stood at the bottom of the tree shouting for her to come down. They would frequently come home from a busy day with Imogen’s dress looking as clean as it had when they left, while Maeve’s had a new rip in it that needed to be fixed.

 While some of the other first year students were nervous as they waited for the sorting, Maeve was excited. She hoped that she would follow in Imogen’s footsteps and be sorted into Ravenclaw, but she had a brother in Hufflepuff and another in Gryffindor, so she knew wherever she went, she would have her family with her. Unless she was sorted into Slytherin, but she didn’t believe that that was even a possibility. When her name was finally called, she walked with confidence to the stool and within moments of the hat being placed on her head, she was sorted into Gryffindor, and she headed towards the table with a smile on her face. While the other girls in Gryffindor struggled with having to share a bathroom and a dormitory with each other, Hogwarts was a welcome reprieve from the chaotic nature of her home.  

 It was at Hogwarts that she found herself, but also found how evil some people could be. She heard the slur mudblood for the first time, aimed at a friend of hers, and she learned how looked down upon muggles were. It infuriated her to see the way that the blood purists paraded around Hogwarts like they were better than others because of their supposed ‘pure blood’. Imogen told her not to get involved, to not fight, and she really tried, but she couldn’t help it when someone attacked someone that she cared for, she lashed out. She received plenty of detentions over the years, but she knew that she was doing the right thing, standing up against the bullies at Hogwarts.

During the war:

Maeve met Kieran Finnigan on her twentieth birthday at a club in Dublin. He was a muggle writer from London that captured her heart. She had been working as a secretary at the Irish Ministry of Magic, but she had been miserable. Living in Dublin was fun, it was so different from the small town that she had grown up in. But she had not been meant to be the type of girl that sat at a desk day in and day out, going to the same clubs, eating the same foods, and seeing the same people. She had dreamed of adventure as a child, and living in Dublin had seemed like an adventure for some time, but the adventure faded with each passing day. The more time that she spent with Kieran the more that she fell for him, and on the eave before he was supposed to return home, he proposed and they were quickly married.

 It had crossed her mind several times that her husband was unaware that she was a witch, but she hadn’t wanted to tell him if they had just been a summer fling. Now that they were married she knew that she would have to tell him eventually, but she hadn’t been sure of how to broach the subject. Instead, she settled into being a wife, moved into his small London flat, and learned how to cook and clean and take care of a house for the first time. Within a few months of their marriage, Maeve got pregnant, and nine months later she gave birth to their daughter, Orla.

 It was exciting at first, but as the days went on, she began to grow restless and bored as the novelty of her marriage and motherhood wore off. Maeve ended up getting a job with the Daily Prophet doing administrative work as first. She told Kieran she was working for a small office, feeling a twinge of guilt every time she went off to work. She bought a camera on a whim and discovered a passion for photography. With some practice, she was promoted to a photographer at the Prophet.  

It was during that work with the Prophet that she was put in contact with the Order of the Phoenix. It started out as small jobs here and there, and eventually, she joined the Order in full. She did it for her husband and for her father, muggles were being hunted and killed across England, and the thought of losing one of the most important men in her life killed her. Working for the Order she finally felt like she was fulfilling some sort of purpose in her life. She had always known that she was meant to be more than a wife and a mother, and her work for the Order actually helped people. It caused problems between her and Kieran, who still was unaware of what she was, but Maeve did her best to juggle her work for the Prophet and the Order as well as her responsibility of being a mother and wife.

No time like the present:

TW: Car accident, death

The day that Dumbledore defeated Voldemort, Maeve was relieved. For the first time in a long time, she felt like they were going to be safe, like she was going to raise her family in a world that accepted them. Orla was nearly two at that point, and Maeve knew that she was going to have to tell Kieran the truth sooner rather than later. She had no idea how he was going to react to the news and it certainly weighed on her shoulders. It had been nearly four years since she had known him and she had no idea how he was going to take the lies that she had been telling. She didn’t really know why she hadn’t told him sooner besides the fact that with each passing day it grew harder to go back and undo all of the lies she had had to tell.

Maeve found out that she was pregnant again shortly after Voldemort’s defeat, and Orla showed her first signs of magic that summer. She had been throwing a tantrum when she shattered a lightbulb. Maeve had had no choice but to tell her husband the truth. The news was a shock for him, and it caused a massive argument. It wasn’t so much that she was a witch that he was angry with, but the fact that she had lied and hid it from him for so many years that upset him. He stormed out of their flat and never returned home.

She got a phone call the next morning from the hospital telling her about the accident. Maeve had spent so much time worrying about Kieran being killed by a Death Eater that she had never even thought of the possibility that he would die in a car accident. It was numbing, finding out that her husband was dead and she would never be able to reconcile with him. She was nearly four months pregnant with a two year old and she was suddenly a widow. Her family urged her to move back home to Ireland but Maeve had found a life in London and she couldn’t imagine going back to such a small town. What would there be for her?

Connections

Dorcas Meadowes - The ever trusted babysitter. Dorcas has been Maeve’s sitter since shortly after Orla was born.

Gilderoy Lockhart - Hogwarts Ex - the two fooled around a little during Hogwarts but nothing serious ever came out of it.

Ezra Tonks - Close to, if only from Evangeline being a coworker. Maeve can count on Ezra for a laugh but isn’t ready to try to get closer to them.

Bios and posts that reference Maeve can be found by clicking this sentence.

[random-thoughts-collection]

Shadowhunters | 3.07 Review

Shadowhunters - Salt in the Wound

written by Celeste Vasquez, directed by Joshua Butler

Lilith finishes her ritual and sends the Owl to get Valentine’s corpse from Alicante. Meanwhile, Clary, Alec, Izzy and Magnus try to find Jace while Simon, Maia, Jordan and Luke try to track down Lilith.

It will be grounds for a kill order

“All we have to do is find Jace.”

The episode opens up with Clary catching up with the Owl and a fight ensues. Despite Clary having made an impressive progress when it comes to her fighting abilities, the Owl overpowers her and – despite her declaration of love for Jace – throws her off the rooftops of a building. It’s a very moving scene when Clary calls Simon for help on the phone and he finds his best friend lying on a car, unable to move. Despite everything they’ve been through it is touching to see just how great their friendship really is.

Later on Clary reveals at the New York Institute that Jace had indeed been killed by Valentine and Raziel was the one to bring him back. They also now know that the demon controlling Jace is actually Lilith, and that she is even able to kill an angel. Clary is playing with completely open cards, and it’s a tense moment when she tells Alec that she understands if he wants to hand her over to the Clave and send her to the Gard. Alec however assures her that he would have done the same thing, much to the relief of Magnus, Izzy and Simon.

In order to get some necessary tools to trap the Owl Clary, Izzy and Alec want to go to Alicante. Before leaving, Alec makes up with Magnus and both express their commitment to try and help Jace. Magnus blames himself for what happened to Jace because he gave Lilith the elixir, while both Alec and Catarina try to convince him that he is not to blame.

At Alicante, they tell Imogen about Jace’s situation and convince her to help them by giving them the Malachi contraption without telling the Clave. Otherwise the Clave would surely hunt Jace down to kill him. While Clary and Izzy get the contraption and Alec distracts Consul Jia Penhallow, Jace enters Alicante and confronts Imogen. Imogen is suspicious from the start but the Owl manages to kill her anyway. Her last act is notifying Alec.

Alec, Clary and Izzy find Jace when he’s about to dig up Valentine’s corpse and they trap him with the Malachi contraption, but unfortunately the Clave shows up. Clary covers for them and sends Alec, Izzy and Jace back to Magnus but is captured by the Clave herself and locked up in the Gard.  

There are a lot of things happening in this part of the story, but the main protagonists are now all on the same page, which allows them to work together to try and resolve the problem. It also means that we get to see more mixed interactions again and I’m glad to see it – the relationships between most characters on Shadowhunters are really interesting and it’s great to see different characters interact with each other. In this episode the confrontation between Jace and Imogen comes to mind, but also the moments where Alec hugs Clary or covers for her in front of Imogen. We are also introduced to a new face: Jia Penhallow, who will most likely show up in the future again. In a way it feels like she steps in the place of Imogen as the Claves’ cold representative, who has become softer towards the Shadowhunters of the New York Institute because of her relationship to Jace.

The werewolf who turned me

“How do you tell the girl you love that you're an animal?”

Aside from the hunt for Jace the other main story of this episode is Maia’s and Jordan Kyle’s backstory.  When Maia surprisingly visits Simon at his apartment, she finds out that his new roommate is actually the werewolf that turned her. Naturally she’s upset and wants to be left alone for a while. Jordan feels bad about the situation himself and calls the Praetor Lupus and asks to be taken off the assignment.

In flashback from both characters we learn about their history. Maia and Jordan met at the beach, and it is a cute and innocent scene. We learn how Jordan dreams about getting away, going to Fiji, and while Maia likes the idea of it we soon learn that she thought of it as a fantasy, not a possible reality. When she gets a full scholarship in Marine Sciences Jordan reacts upset, and is harsher than Maia expected. This moment happened a few weeks after Jordan got attacked by a Werewolf, but Maia doesn’t know the extent of his wound and it’s hard to tell how much Jordan knows. The next flashback picks up weeks after Jordan’s and Maia’s relationship has ended, and Jordan wants to explain himself to Maia. In the end however he turns into a werewolf – most likely for the first time – and when he comes to his sense again he finds out that he has attacked Maia. Unable to deal with the situation he runs and leaves her lying bloody and alone in the street.

In the present, Jordan is about to leave when Maia stops him and explains him that his duty is to help Simon, to not abandon Simon as he abandoned her.

I have seen quite a few comments talking about the abusive aspect of the relationship of Maia and Jordan, but I think it is a bit more complicated than this. When we get the flashback about their first meeting, Jordan seems like a nice and friendly guy, and it is only after he’s been turned that he acts aggressively towards Maia. The show presents us a character who was struggling after he was scratched, and lost complete control once he turned. Ever since he has learned to control his werewolf nature he has been trying to make up for what he did by working for the Praetor Lupus. However, he doesn’t know how to face Maia after what he did to her.

For Maia, that is the worst thing about it – that he left her when she needed him most and never came back. Back when she was still human she had no explanation for his behavior, and him not trusting her and telling her the truth has hurt her, too. Maia is lucky to have meet Luke after she turned and for Luke to take her under his wings. Just as Simon had Raphael and sometimes Luke and Magnus as well for advice, it is important for a newly made vampire or werewolf to have someone to turn to for advice and help. That is why the situation for all three – Maia, Simona and Jordan – is so tragic. For Maia the most, for she has to face the man who turned her and left her bloody and helpless in the street, for Simon because he grew fond of Jordan before knowing who he really was and saw how it affected his girlfriend, and for Jordan who made mistakes when he wasn’t fully in control of himself – something he was unable to avoid and he can never make it right again. It makes for a complex story that is more than just a love triangle, and the chemistry works between all three characters and makes this plot really worth watching.    

In the meantime Luke is searching for Lilith in order to help Ollie and Jace. He finds out that Ollie already has killed her mother, and warns Sam who shows up at the office later on and learns the truth from Luke. Simon accompanies Luke in his search and when they reach Lilith’s hideout they also find Ollie there but can’t get a hold on her. Simon accidentally kills two of Lilith’s underlings with his Mark which greatly upsets Lilith. She learns from Ollie that it was Simon.

This episode has some great characters moments especially for Maia and Jordan while moving the main plot around Lilith and the Owl forward as well. There are some scenes with beautiful cinematography - especially the scenes at the beach have a nice atmosphere that stands out compared to the usual city background.

[judememories]

#001 CHARACTER SHEET:

Full Name: Jude Bellamy Hayward Meaning of Name: Jude means ‘praise’ in Hebrew and was chosen by his parents as an ironic joke about the fact that they’re adamantly Atheist.  Nickname: Judas. Birth Date: November 29th, 1994. Astrological Sign and Details: Sagittarius. Known as the most independent and flighty of the star signs, as well as being philosophically geared. Birth Place: Saint Francis Memorial Hospital, San Francisco. Age: 23.

Nationality: American. Race: White. Hair Color: Brown. Hair Style: Short, messy, always in his eyes or mussed up.  Distinct Features of Face: Full lips and prominently defined jawline.  Glasses or Contacts: Wears glasses when he’s reading, in spite of the fact that he despises them. They’re old fashioned and vintage looking to keep up his Indie Soft Boy aesthetic.  Eye Color: Hazel. Skin Tone: Fair. Scars or Distinguishing Marks: A thin scar, predominantly hidden, that laces through his left eyebrow from an ill healed split he got there when he was fifteen. He got into a fight with a boy being pushy to a drunk girl at a party and since he was much bigger than Jude, it was a quick and ugly loss. He ended up having his head smacked into a kitchen sink and needing stitches. He also has a cigarette burn on his arm from when a drunken poet laureate staying at his parents place disagreed with Jude’s take on his recently published anthology. Jude had to go and knock on the neighbouring apartment door in the building and sleep on a pull out sofa because he was too scared to stay at home alone again with him around when he’d been drinking. Disabilities: None. Build or Body Type: Broad shoulders, somewhat gangly. He has subtly defined muscles in his arms from years of playing guitar but nothing too obnoxious or over the top. Height: 6″1′. Weight: 170 lbs. Speech Patterns: Talks reasonably slowly, mostly as a result of being high and sleep deprived a lot of the time, therefore it takes him a while to string his thoughts together.  Tag Words: Says “uh” and “you know” a lot. Also refers to most people, gender irrelevant, as “man” or “handsome”.  Gestures: Rubs at his jaw a lot when he’s sketching or trying to think of something. He also frequently nods and chews at the corner of his thumbnail.

FAMILY AND CHILDHOOD

Mother: Bethany Hayward. Father: Jack Hayward. Mother’s Occupation: Trust fund baby, currently co-owns an art gallery with her husband that she travels the world to buy pieces for. Father’s Occupation: Amateur photographer. He used to be a bartender to support his art and has had four collections of his photos showcased in popular galleries. Ever since he met and fell in love with Bethany, he gave up working as a bartender and pursued the arts full time, opening up a gallery using her parents money.  Family Finances: Reasonably wealthy but not in the millions by any means. Brothers: None. Sisters: None. Other Close Family: Jude has a handful of cousins he knows only vaguely, although he’s actually close with Elias Elliot. Best Friend: Teddy Lawrence. Other Friends: Blake Knox, Ophelia Knox, Gabe Leitner, Frankie Vigo, Wesley Costa, Imogen Bauer, Anastasia Costa, Jesse Harmon, Lana Jameson. Enemies: None. Pets: None. Home Life During Childhood: Jude was always treated like a distant acquaintance growing up rather than a child. His parents would leave him for weeks on end to live in their loft apartment alone, surrounded by numerous mid thirties adults all smoking pot and using the place as a glorified sort of squatter den. He grew up seeing and hearing things that no child should particularly have to, always walking in on drunken hook-ups and hearing lewd and suggestive comments that made him feel uncomfortable. He gets on with his parents in the respect that he can always make them laugh and vice versa, but they don’t particularly care about what he gets up to or how he’s doing. He’s merely a conversational piece and a tick off a checklist, a failed science experiment that they long since grew bored of. What Did His, Her or Their Bedroom Look Like: Mostly bare. Jude was too paranoid to keep anything of sentimental value in his room because of how many strangers were always sleeping in his loft and nosing around in there. He had a few sketches tacked up onto the wall above his bed with scotch tape and a lock box beneath it that he kept his actual valuables in. Very minimal. Very impersonal. To Jude, his house had never once looked or felt like a home. Any Sports or Clubs: He used to be on a baseball team until he got drunk one night and was spotted using his bat to beat up a dingy Volkswagen parked just off school campus belonging to one of his parent’s friends. She was actually a teacher’s assistant at the school and therefore they took it extremely seriously. He got pulled from the team and put in detention for six weeks. Nobody ever asked why he did it. Schooling: He went to high school in downtown San Francisco before moving to New York in order to pursue his higher education. Favorite Subject: A tie between art and music. Popular or Loner: Unwillingly and begrudgingly popular. He tries his best to shake people and can never seem to manage it. Important Experiences or Events: The second time he had sex, it was with his girlfriend of the time at sixteen. He only got maybe two minutes through until he started having an anxiety attack, something that he still finds hideously embarrassing to recall, even to this day. She’d insisted that it was fine, that she didn’t mind and he’d blamed it on the fact that he’d smoked two joints prior to it and it had triggered some sort of weird reaction. The fact that there might still be some sort of underlying issue and baggage there from his first time dare’n't even cross his mind.   Health Problems: Anxiety, insomnia and severe depression.  Religion and beliefs: Atheist.

PERSONAL

Bad Habits: Smoking weed instead of coping with his problems in a healthy and rational manner, repressing things rather than confronting them, trying to save everyone. Good Habits: Writing out odd snippets of poem lines on napkins when he’s bored in restaurants and leaving them for the waiters to find and blink at in confusion, keeping a secret sketchbook where he draws the profiles of all his favourite people, investing his all into people in spite of how many times he’s been hurt before. Best Characteristic: His dry and sometimes absurd sense of humour. Worst Characteristic: His proneness to acting pretentious or condescending when someone has different interests to his. Worst Memory: At a small party when he was sixteen, they decided to go around in a circle and play truth or dare. He chose truth and everyone waited with baited breath for someone to cook up the kind of question that would get even Jude Hayward, master of playing it cool, squirming with embarrassment. “Are you a virgin? If not, how’d you lose it?” A dozen crinkle cornered eyes had all curiously blinked back at him mid broad grins as he offered a limp shrug, face glazed over with something that looked like an oddly forced attempt at pride. It was only after he’d told them and the room had fallen quiet that he realised it perhaps wasn’t quite something to be proud of, but for parents to anxiously whisper in the corner over and worriedly shake their heads. The fact that it had been with his mother’s best friend while she was out of town had never truly struck him as strange until he saw the dawning horror on all of those faces staring back at him. Needless to say, he never went to one of their parties or mentioned it to anyone ever again. Best Memory: The old lady down the hall from his parent’s loft used to make homemade cherry pie and cut him a slither to eat after school. One sun soaked afternoon they sat in front of her dingy television set, chomping silently during a leaked new episode of Mad Men, and when she ruffled his hair after he finished in a record breaking five minutes, he found himself pretending and believing for those set few seconds that she was actually his family. Proud of: His artwork. Embarrassed by: Ever speaking honestly about his emotions. Driving Style: Fairly regulation. Bumps up onto the sidewalk a lot, chuckles under his breath and calmly recites the Harry Potter floating head that says “it’s gonna be a bumpy ride” in a Jamaican accent. Strong Points: Charismatic, witty, laid-back, easygoing, independent and undemanding.  Temperament: Fairly neutral unless you give him reason not to be. Weakness: People that seem just as sad and lonely as he is deep down. Fears: Being left alone in a room with strangers, eating bad chicken and getting salmonella, heights. Phobias: Moths and horses.  Secrets: How bad his relationship with his parents actually is. How he lost his virginity. Regrets: Not trying harder to grow into someone his parents would find interesting enough to stay. Feels Vulnerable When: People notice how often he pretends to be something he isn’t. Pet Peeves: Chart music, chino pants, modern art. Sexuality: Heterosexual. He tried to experiment once and just couldn’t get into it. Exercise Routine: None in particular.  Day or Night Person: Night. Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert. Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist.

LIKES AND PREFERENCES

Music: Indie rock, mod rock -- any shade of rock, really. He loves The Smiths and any kind of broody sad boy music, too. Books: Anything classic and old, he loves. He’s a huge Kerouac fan as well as Kurt Vonnegut and Chuck Palahniuk. Foods: Hates to admit it but he loves Chipotle. He also loves sushi and any kind of noodle soup. Drinks: He tends to mainly drink beer or cider but most of the time at parties he’ll just drink whatever someone gives to him. He isn’t fussy. Animals: Doesn’t care much about any of them. He’s pretty neutral. Sports: N/A. Social Issues: Democrat. Walked in the women’s march and got black out drunk before waking up on a public bench with a pair of bachelorette party antlers where they’re dick themed instead of deer. Favorite Saying: “In the land of gods and monsters I was a fella. Lookin’ to just hang out.”   Color: Blue. Clothing: Wears a lot of thrifted shirts over thin white t-shirts. Dr. Martens and cuffed jeans. Almost always has some sort of charcoal smudge on his sleeve. Band t-shirts and t-shirts with a scan of obscure and unknown artworks also feature heavily in his wardrobe. Games: Once he played Red Dead Redemption for three days straight and the first time he tried mushrooms, he hallucinated that he was riding along on a donkey besides a river with a strand of wheat chewed in his mouth like a lone ranger on the run from the law. In reality he was just sat on a swing at the local park.  Websites: Vine and PornHub. TV Shows: Breaking Bad and Mad Men. Movies: American Beauty and Trainspotting. Greatest Want: To flee civilisation and abandon his responsibilities by moving to a remote goat farm in Cambodia. Greatest Need: Therapy.

LIFESTYLE

Home: Currently lives in college dormitories. Household furnishings: Very minimal. Pinstriped duvet and an obnoxiously bright desk lamp for when he wants to do his sketches there. He has stacks of lined up, overflowing sketchbooks by the wall beneath his window and he’s plonked a cushion onto the sill so he can sit there and draw while he smokes some mornings. That aside, the only other stand out piece of furniture is his acoustic guitar.  Favorite Possession: His oil paints. They were a departing gift from his elderly neighbour before he moved to Rochester. She saved up for months to afford them and they mean a great deal to him, sentimentally. Significant Other Before: He’s had three ex-girlfriends. His first meant a lot to him and he was head-over-heels in love with her, but the second was more of a fling to get over the one before her. His most recent was Saskia Cohen, who he still hasn’t managed to get over just yet, particularly so given that she cheated on him and the breakup was hideously messy. Children: N/A. Relationship with Family: He texts them every so often and receives an updated photo from their travels. It’s very impersonal and more like having a long distance pen pal than a family. Car: None. Pets: None. Career: Student. Salary: N/A. Other Income: N/A. Dream Career: Photographic journalist. Love Life: A board certified mess. Sexual Turn Ons: Dirty talk that is subtle and not over-the-top, prolonged foreplay, confidence. Sexual Turn Offs: Pushiness, foot fetishists, people who try too hard to sound appealing. Hobbies: Drawing, reading up on philosophical theory, collecting dollar store vinyls from thrift shops, practising his guitar, writing short stories and poems that he deletes after reading them back. Guilty Pleasure: Watching Spanish soap operas and making up what they’re saying as he goes along. Almost always occurs when he’s hideously high. Talents or Skills: Drawing, photography, playing guitar. Intelligence Level: Jude has an impressively high IQ, although this isn’t something he ever boasts about or makes a point of asserting.

[josefkavalier]

25 DAYS OF FIC

day three: cookies for ru & cadence

Around this time of year, Cadence loved her parents largely because their union allowed her to celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. It didn’t exactly mean extra presents, but she knew that the amount of gifts she received was disproportionate with most American children. It was hardly a secret that she was spoiled, and so was her brother, even if he didn’t act like it. He still had practically every video game on the face of the earth (not really, but Cadence didn’t care enough to count how many he actually had).

Sadly, the semester was not yet over despite it being the second day of Hanukkah, but she had some home baked cookies to make her Algebra 2 homework slightly less painful. Aunt Imogen had sent some specially for her -- most likely because she didn’t want her own daughter complaining about how Cadence had stolen her care package. Again. Imogen might be tough, but Bo wasn’t nearly as scary as her mother and Cadence wasn’t afraid to fight dirty. Even if Bo was one of her oldest friends. That was the hazard of practically being sisters -- Cadence knew she could get away with a lot.

Cadence happily bit the head off of another gingerbread man while scribbling away at her desk. She was about to bite off an arm when she heard a loud noise from outside her dorm. Not a moment after she raised an eyebrow, someone knocked on the door.

“Cade...” Said the familiar voice, sounding slightly out of breath.

Tossing the cookie aside, Cadence ran to the door, flinging it open to reveal her boyfriend surrounded by textbooks. Seeing as his arms were no longer otherwise occupied, she continued running and jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist.

His eyes widened, and it was clear he was about to say something but she sealed his lips with her own, then pulled away to look at his face just as she felt the hint of his tongue. 

“Were you eating gingerbread?” He asked, still looking slightly bewildered.

“Mhm, you want any?” Normally Cadence hated sharing, but it’s not like she could say no to Ru if he asked. She may as well offer. Without trying at all, he made her a much more pleasant person to be around. Granted, she was only nice around him, but it was a start.

“No--I mean, yeah. Maybe. Um, later.”

She could tell he wanted her to get off so he could gather his things, but his grip tightened as she slipped. It made her want to kiss him again but that could wait.

“All right, put me down, I’ll help you pick up your...stuff.” She was going to say “crap” but she knew he might be offended. His feelings were a select few that she didn’t want to hurt.

Once he set her down, she crouched down to grab the book nearest her, and instead of grabbing more, she nosily looked down at the cover. “Jewish Holiday Cooking...” She snorted. “What’s this for?”

“Um, well...” He started, gathering up the remaining books that Cadence had already given up on. “Since you have to be here, and all, I thought...um, if you wanted, I mean, I thought we could use your dorm’s kitchen and make something? To make it feel more like the holidays.”

She crawled closer to him, looking at the books in his hands. Two were textbooks, one was a book he had been reading for the past week, but the other two were more cookbooks. Not for the first time, she looked up at him like she had never seen anything like him before. Which, for the record, she hadn’t.

Cadence put her own book on top of the stack, then held his face with both hands and kissed him gentler than she normally did. It wasn’t exactly that Cadence feared tenderness, especially not from others. She was just always so excited to see him, and then happy to be with him, and she was sometimes worried that he didn’t fully believe she was in this. She over-compensated by being aggressive, but sometimes being more vulnerable with her feelings was the more persuasive approach.

When she pulled away, she kept her hands on his face and leaned her forehead against his. “Yes. Let’s do it. C’mere.” She let go and stood up, sticking out a hand to help him up. He tucked the books under his free arm and grabbed her hand, and she immediately pulled him down to her lips for another quick kiss. “Dump the books we don’t need on my desk and you can come get them later.”

He did as instructed and Cadence followed after, making sure to grab the box of cookies. “We’ll eat these while we cook...What?” She asked at his amused expression. “We’ll need fuel. Oh! Reminds me -- we’ll need to get ingredients. Here,” she grabbed her car keys from the mostly empty bookshelf beside her desk and threw them at him. “You drive. I’ll feed you gingerbread.”

“Okay,” he laughed, then reached out to take her hand.

Cadence smiled at him widely, nearly forgetting to check if her door was already locked from the inside before closing it behind them.

[asecretsummer-rpgpromo]

WANTED! FC can be changed!

♠ Zeke Astoni is 25 years old and is often confused with Jacob Artist. He is Open.

“I’d rather not talk about it. This place is cursed.”

→ Background

Zeke has always been quite close with his half sister Brooklyn. He and Brooke got along pretty well with just the odd normal sibling squabble. Nothing serious and nothing that lasted. They talked to each other and when Zeke was being bullied in school for coming out as gay, even though she was younger than he was, Brooke stood up for him, seemed to make it her mission to shut the bullies up. Zeke appreciated that a lot and he’ll always feel grateful for growing up with the sister he did.

He’s never known his father. Neither had Brooklyn but it seemed to bother Zeke way more than it bothered her. When his grandfather would get drunk at parties or family gatherings he would do his best to pry any information he could out of the man, once getting the name of his father and spending a few years looking for him through the phone book and online. It always came up empty and it made Zeke quite angry and bitter.

→ Back to Baberton

Before he came out as gay, Zeke dates Lilly James. He went through a time of repressing his true identity and while Lilly was great he just wasn’t into it. He lied to her about how he felt and he feels bad about it still to this day since he knows he hurt her with the way he acted and the way he broke it off with her. She was sweet and quiet and shy and he feels like he acted like a real jerk with her and would like to make things right, though Zeke finds it hard when she just avoids him all the time.

Zeke recently got himself a job at the newer Ford Bakery. He’s always been into baking and cooking and it’s fun for him to get to do something he likes and is good at on a pretty much daily basis. Imogen Ford’s mother owns the place and sometimes Imogen comes in to work behind the counter but she’s hard to talk to, which isn’t surprising with all that she’s gone and is going through. Zeke is quite keen to open his own restaurant one day and is very determined to reach his goal. When he’s not at work or trying out recipes he usually just wanders around town with friends or his sister, who he’s still kind of close with, though it might be nice to find somebody he could date too.. which seems tough to him in this town.

→ What’s His Secret?

Recently got in touch with his father over facebook. At first the man ignored all his messages but then after a few weeks they agreed to meet up and he travelled to the next town of Bridgefield to meet with him. They met a couple times and Zeke got to know him. He got the story of how he met his mother but apparently it had been an affair as his father is older and had been married at the time. Which isn’t what you want to hear but he appreciates knowing. Then suddenly his dad stopped talking to him again, cut him out of his life out of nowhere, and sent a cheque in the mail. He blocked Zeke on facebook too and he really doesn’t appreciate being treated like this and paid off. All he’s ever wanted is to know his dad and he’s back to feeling like the angry and bitter eighteen year old he once was, which he hates but can’t control and it makes him act kind of stupid.

Main | Plot | Most Wanted | Characters | Ask

[johnnymundano]

The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

Directed by Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Tom Savini and Richard Stanley

Written by Scarlett Amaris, Douglas Buck, John Esposito, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Emiliano Ranzani and Richard Stanley

Music by Simon Boswell, Susan DiBona and Marquis Howell of Hobo Jazz

Country: United States

Language: English

Running Time: 114 minutes

CAST

Udo Kier as Peg Poett

Virginia Newcomb as Enola Penny

Kaniehtiio Horn as The Writer (segment 'Vision Stains')

Victoria Maurette as Karina (segment 'The Mother Of Toads')

Shane Woodward as Martin (segment 'The Mother Of Toads')

André Hennicke as Axel (segment 'I Love You')

Suzan Anbeh as Mo (segment 'I Love You')

James Gill as Donnie (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Tom Savini as Dr. Maurey (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Debbie Rochon as Carla (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Lena Kleine as The Mother (segment 'The Accident')

Mélodie Simard as The Daughter (segment 'The Accident')

Lindsay Goranson as Estelle (segment 'Sweets')

Guilford Adams as Greg (segment 'Sweets')

Framing Segments

Directed by Jeremy Kasten

Written by Zach Chassler

Cast:

Udo Kier as Peg Poett

Virginia Newcomb as Enola Penny

The Theatre Bizarre is a series of six shorts largely in hock to the grand-guignol tradition of naturalistic horror (i.e. proper ketchup, matey). I know this not because of any keen interest in French theatre but because the framing sequence is called ‘Theatre Guignol’, and it is into this terribly mysterious theatre that Enola Penny (Virginia Newcomb) dreamily wanders one decisive night. Each of the following sections is introduced by the indefatigable Udo Kier playing a big puppet (literally “grand guignol”) who becomes less puppet-like as the movie wears on and (cue wobbly theremin) Enola become less human. Which might be an artistic statement about desensitisation, but is definitely an excuse to watch Udo Kier popping robot-moves, which I think we can all agree is a good thing.

The Mother of Toads

Directed by Richard Stanley

Written by Richard Stanley, Scarlett Amaris and Emiliano Ranzani

Cast:

Catriona MacColl as Mere Antoinette

Shane Woodward as Martin

Victoria Maurette as Karina

Lisa Belle as The Naked Witch (as Lisa Crawford)

Amelie Salomon as The Monster

The Mother of Toads is apparently based on a Clark Ashton Smith story of the same name which I haven’t read, with a bit of HP Lovecraft chucked in. It features a pair of unpleasant young Americans holidaying in France, and I’m not dissing Americans there, this pair really are unlikable; Karina moans that everything is in French in France (quelle surprise!), while Martin is so anaesthetised by his own acumen he can barely push his smug words past the thicket of his trendy beard. They come unstuck when bargain hunting in a French market where a handsome older lady with a mesmerising accent saucily offers Martin a peek at her Necronomicon. Bundling Karina off to a spa Martin spends the day with the accommodating and increasingly ardent crone, drinking suspicious brews and fingering her dusty leaves. Things end badly. This was an agreeably silly creature feature with plenty of the old ugh! quotient, an endearing lack of logic and a pervading sense of encroaching doom. The humour leavening proceedings is clearly no accident; there’s an excellent joke when Martin attempts to extricate himself from a post-coital bed without waking his sleeping and somewhat slimy partner. Probably rings a few bells in the audience that bit. It’s just enjoyably daft, tongue-in-cheek stuff and a welcome reminder that Richard (Hardware (1990), Dust Devil (1992)) Stanley is still rocking his smart-trash groove.

I Love You

Directed by Buddy Giovinazzo

Written by Buddy Giovinazzo

Cast:

André Hennicke as Axel

Suzan Anbeh  as Mo

I Love You is a pretty tough watch and unusually it’s not because of the climactic gore. Axel wakes up in his bathroom disorientated and bloody; turns out he’s an insecure, self-destructive mess who has driven his lady Mo away. Mo returns to sever all ties and leave for good. What follows is an emotionally harrowing battle between two damaged people where words are weapons and the hurt is internal. As blood spattered as the despairing denouement may be the real horror is the extended verbal flensing Mo delivers to Martin, in which she destroys not only his present but also his past. And is she telling the truth? Or is it a desperate attempt to extricate herself from his unquenchable neediness? Like a fox gnawing its paw off to escape the trap? Sometimes uncertainty can be another level of horror. Buddy Giovinazzo delivers a classily acted, tautly suspenseful two-hander which leaves an emotional stain which persists for days.

Wet Dreams

Directed by Tom Savini

Written by John Esposito

Cast:

Debbie Rochon as Carla

Tom Savini as Dr. Maurey

James Gill as Donnie

Jodii Christianson as Maxine

Wet Dreams is directed by Tom Savini, who is legendary in horror for his SFX work and slightly less legendary for his acting, so there’s no excuse for doing an Elvis double take at the fact he’s given himself a role and that his segment is luridly gory. He’s no slouch at directing either, which is nice. The esteemed Mr. Savini plays a psychiatrist, the kind who drinks on the job and talks about raping his mum (i.e. a movie psychiatrist), treating Donnie, a preening jackass who likes smacking his wife, Carla, about and cheating on her. See, Donnie’s having recurring nightmares wherein his sexy dream fun times climax with him being tortured and castrated by his long-suffering wife, in a series of gruesomely humorous and visually explicit ways. Gentlemen viewers may never again think of a fry-up without skittishly crossing their legs. Serves Donnie right you might think, but by the end of the dream-within-a-dream misdirection and its gruesomely pre-code EC Comics twist finale you might think again. Ugh. I mean….ugh. I...Jesus. What could have just been a gratuitous mess of general dismemberment is deftly directed by the savant Savini, resulting in an amoral immorality tale. And need it be said that his skills in the SFX dept remain second to none? No, it need not. So pretend I didn’t say it.

The Accident

Directed by Douglas Buck

Written by Douglas Buck

Cast:

Lena Kleine as Mother

Mélodie Simard as Daughter

Jean-Paul Rivière as Old Biker

Bruno Décary as Young Biker

The Accident provides a brief respite from the onslaught of sensationalistic gore, a pit stop if you will. Even if you won’t, it definitely centres around a cute child asking her blasé mother questions about mortality, said questions raised in the tiny, inquiring mind after the witnessing of an accident earlier in the day involving a deer and a cocky motorcyclist. It’s a very restrained piece, very accomplished, and softer in tone than anything before or after it. There’s a touch of grue when the deer is finished off, but mostly the horror here is the complete horseshit parents come out with to calm their offspring with regards to the ultimately absurd nature of life and death, a subject which everyone spends a lot of time avoiding thinking about on a day to day basis and about which they would rather not be cross-examined about by a child at bedtime. As upsetting as the sight of the deer’s tongue lolling out of its bug eyed head was (very), it wasn’t as upsetting as realising all the lies you have to fill your kid with just so they can function in what we’ve all decided to call reality. Compared to all that, lying about Santa Claus is a minor misdemeanour.

Vision Stains

Directed by Karim Hussain

Written by Karim Hussain

Cast:

Kaniehtiio Horn as The Writer

Cynthia Wu-Maheux as Junkie Girl

Imogen Haworth as Pregnant Woman

Rachelle Glait  as Older Homeless Woman

Alex Ivanovici  as Junkie Man

I have a thing about eye trauma. Not a sexual thing, a “flinch and wave your hands about like you’re warding off invisible birds” thing. It’s a running joke in the Mundano family unit; if there’s some serious eye trauma afoot in the viewing choice, all eyes fall on the father figure as he  tenses for impact. Those similarly (dis)inclined should be warned that there is a seriously impressive amount of eye trauma in Vision Stains. It’s built in as the whole episode rests on the Horror Movie Science concept of people’s past lives flashing before their eyes at the point of death. So if you extract their eye juice as they die and inject it into your own eye you will get to live the edited highlights of another life. Obviously. That sounds about as appealing as it sounds scientifically feasible, but our serial killer heroine is well into it. She basically harvests the lives of the homeless to make up for her personal shortfall in dreams. Judging by the massive pile of notebooks in which she has written the details of all the lives she has nicked, its worked out quite well for her. But people, even dreamless serial killers who prey on the homeless,  are never satisfied, so she decides to take the next step and find out what happens before people have a life to flash in front of their eyes. The results are mixed. Ultimately you can’t help thinking it would have been a lot quicker and far easier on the homeless population if she’d just read Tbomas Ligotti’s The Conspiracy Against the Human race. It’s all very silly but the po-faced approach suggests it is straining for some grandiose meaning; it fails. But it does feature a fantastic amount of eye trauma. Each to their own.

Sweets

Directed by David Gregory

Written by David Gregory

Cast:

Lindsay Goranson as Estelle

Guilford Adams as Greg

Lynn Lowry as Mikela Da Vinci

Jessica Remmers as Antonia

With Sweets, things close on a hilariously disgusting note. A deadpan Estelle and a semi-hysterical Greg talk about their dying relationship in the most banal clichés imaginable as they sit in what was once an apartment, but is now a kind of edible sty plastered with smushed up confectionery.  As trite nonsense falls from her lips Estelle slowly sucks a melting ice cream into her deadpan face. Greg flailing to rescue the dead relationship counters with the expected whiny responses, while spasmodically picking filthy sweets off the floor and ingesting them with all the automotive panache of the true addict. Their stale interactions are punctuated by a series of flashbacks  which parody cinema’s rote scenes of romance, with the pair swilling sweet shit like swilling sweet shit is going out of fashion. Luckily for Greg, Estelle hasn’t quite finished with him, unluckily for Greg he’s about to find out what that means. Sweets is pretty funny in its lip-smacking attack on love and addiction (and love as addiction), and is delightfully cartoonish in style; Estelle is often colour coordinated from hair to shoes with whatever sickly delicacy she is proffering. Of course all the comedy and caricature serve only to distract you while Sweets prepares a delightful gut punch of horror, before the management politely ask you to leave.

 TL;DR: The Theatre Bizarre: it’s worth a watch, but not if you’re squeamish.

[zoeygreensimblr]

Wildest Dreams (episode 4)

In the harsh light of day the weight of the night before is setting in.  My mouth is super dry, my head is pounding and I'm having flashbacks, hot flashbacks but it's hard to concentrate on them with the pain.

I can here a conversation going on, I guess Angus finally got that FaceTime call from his sister. I can hear his end clearly but her replies come through muffled. I focus in on what he is saying and I realise they're talking about me.

"No Immie, Im not going to give you her name"

muffled reply

"you know exactly why, you'd look her up on simstergram and stalk her profile, trust me, you'll  meet her when the time is right, I just don't need my big sister scaring her off"

I get up and move closer to the door, I've never been the kind who listens in on private conversation but considering Im the subject matter I can't stop.

"Look Immie, it's more than likely that she's going to wake up and pretend nothing happened again, just like she did on Thursday."

"Give her time Gus, If she's as sweet as you say she is I'm sure she's worth the effort" Imogen assure him.

Am I worth the effort?

Angus ends his call and I can now hear a blender stopping and starting. Time to venture out of the room. He's standing in his kitchen dressed only in shorts and it's freezing.

"Morning" he says in an upbeat tone, "Did I wake you?"

"No, my hangover woke me, I swear Im never drinking again" I pledge

"Famous last words Miss Green, we've all been there"

"Ah Im sure you never have Mister McKennzie, given that you don't consume carbs"

"I use to be quite a heavy drinker"

"Oh, sorry"

Change the subject Zoey

"what are you concocting in the blender?"

"The worlds best hang over cure"

And he's going to make me drink it!

"Are you not cold, it's freezing Angus"

"I went for a run earlier, sorry, is it making you uncomfortable? I'll go put a shirt on"

Don't think Zoey, just act on impulse, you can do this.

"No, don't" I plead, reaching my hand out to touch his rock hard abs and I don't know which one of us is more shocked. My fingers move slowly up his torso, sweep across his neck and make the way to his mouth, I let my thumb play with his bottom lip and he kisses it softly. He pulls me in closer and brings his lips to mine, I'm anticipating his kiss but he just opens his mouth and asks "Is there a chance that you're still drunk?"

I shake my head, no

He kisses me, lifting me up off the ground.

"Do you have to be home at a certain time today" Angus enquires.

"No but I do have homework I need to do at some stage this weekend so I will need to get our bags from your office" I reply

"You mean those bags" He asks, pointing to the corner where he's carefully placed both my school bag and Tess' too.

"What do you have planned Angus?"

"I was thinking we could drive up the coast to Sulani, I know it's winter but there some great spots to grab lunch on the Island"

"How do you get to the Island  though?"

"Ferryboat from New Crest" He informs me

"Im in"

I check my phone in the car and I'm surprised to see that I only had 2 missed calls, one from home and the other from Tess. That's very unlike Tess, usually she would just keep calling until I picked up, her record was 35 calls in the space of an hour. I call home first and my mother answers.

"Hi Zoey"

"Hi Mum"

"I called before to see if you'll be home for dinner tonight and if Angus would be joining you?"

"How did you know I was with Angus?" I asked, thinking Tess must of ratted me out

"Oh, He called us last night, said you had passed out drunk on his couch and he had put you in his sisters bed. Lovely boy he is, we had a long chat too"

I shoot Angus a look and he just smiles, keeping his eyes on the road.

"So, Im not in trouble?" I ask mum

"Why would you be in trouble, we know you're safe and not lying in a ditch somewhere, plus you're our good girl, we know we don't need to worry about you, unlike Tess"

When I hang up the phone my head is filled with so many questions, like what did they chat about.

"We talked about you Zoey, how you're going to University next year and you're hoping to study medicine" Angus informs me, like he's reading my thoughts, "I didn't know you wanted to become a doctor?" he continues

"My parents want me to become a doctor and don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind studying medicine, my marks are high enough to get in too but I wouldn't mind becoming a vet either, I love animals, especially dogs" I explain

"You should do what makes you happy Zoey"

I wish it was that simple though.

The ferry ride from New Crest to Sulani takes about 40 minutes, the water is choppy and the wind is blowing a gail but Angus holds onto me tightly the whole way.

"This place is beautiful" I say when we arrive, the water is crystal clear and the sand is pure white.

"Yeah it is, I come up here a lot in Summer, we have a house on the beach and locals are so accommodating"

"I need to ask a question and I apologise is advance if it comes out rude but you're 22, how do you own so much property, it's like you hit the motherlode" I ask and he laughs

"Immie was a world renowned scientist. she invented a cloning machine, among other things, made Billions from it, retired at 32 and now travels the world, she comes home in the warmer months, helps me out with the gym but mostly she leaves me in charge of making the big decisions, I've got creative control over everything" He explains.

We walk to The Sand Bar, a small bar with a food stall out front. We put our orders in and find a wicker cane lounge to sit on.

"Ok Zoey, I think it's my turn to ask the personal question" he says, I can hear the reservation in his voice but still he pushes on, "You've talked to me non stop about your relationship with Tess and I've met your Mother and Step Father, who you also seem to be really close to but you've not once mentioned your actual father"

It was a painful subject, a wound that had never healed. I can feel the hot tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh fuck, Zo, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, it's none of my business, forget I've asked. Shit, I wanted to have the best first date with you and now I've ruined it and made you cry." He comforts me, wiping my tears away with a napkin

"It's ok" I assure him, "I cry when I'm angry, I'm not angry at you or that you asked, please don't think that. I'm angry because our father abandoned us, left my mother with nothing, alone to raise to two children on her own. Tess and I were only 10 and he just didn't come home, he moved to Oasis Spings with his girlfriend, Eliza Pancakes and they started a new family together, we never heard from him again"

"Im so sorry Zoey, what a prick, you're poor mother and you girls" He exclaims, shocked

"There were some pretty dark times, bills went unpaid and our power was shut off a few times but Ruth got us through it, she took a job as the hostess at Chez Llama and worked really hard to make sure we had everything we needed. That's where she met Don too, he was head chef. They married about a year later and we moved to Brindleton Bay." I explain

"Imogen tells me that Don Lothario was a bit of a playboy in his younger days at Riverview High. Your mother has done a great job taming him" He laughs and I do too

"You wouldn't even know he once had a wild side, he's so devoted to Mum and is more of father to Tess and I than our biological father ever was"

On the drive home from New Crest I receive a call from Tess.

"Where are you? Im bored and have no-one to talk to" she cries

"I'm about an hour away, I'll be there soon, I promise. I just remembered, I forgot to call you back too, I'm the worst sister in the whole world" I laugh

"You so are Zoey, You get a boyfriend and forget all about me, the real love of your life. Nah, it's all good, I called Angus, I knew you were safe" she assures me.

BOYFRIEND? What? I hadn't thought about that label, it was all too new, I hadn't even had a chance to debrief with Tess. I can feel my breathing starting to become more rapid

"I gotta go...see you soon T"

"I'm pulling over Zoey, just hold on" Angus cries, anticipating my oncoming panic attack.

As soon as the car has safely come to a stop I jump out. The cool evening air hitting my hot cheeks. The attack takes about a minute or two to pass but the shame and embarrassment sticks around.

"Im going to kill your sister" He announces

"It's not her fault, she just has no filter sometimes and get excited" I explain

"I was going to ask you, I just couldn't find the right moment today" He rambles

"Ask me what?" Now Im confused

"To be my Girlfriend, to make this offical, I know it's sudden but I'm not the type to be out there dating multiple girls all at once. I want to be committed to just one girl, to you Zoey, I want you to be my girl?" He asks, sheepishly

"I've never been a Girlfriend before though" I explain

"It's not like applying for a job at the barista house Zoey, you don't really need previous experience"

"I know Angus but look at me? Normal girls get excited about moments like this, I have a panic attack"

He takes me by the hands and looks me deep in the eye

"Zoey Green, would you do me the honour of becoming my Girlfriend"

Don't overthink it Zoey

"Yes, Angus McKennzie"

He picks me up, spins me around and plants a kiss on me.