#imogen DOWN BAD AGAIN

[criticalyasha]

C3E66 - “That’s your girlfriend..”

[paperglader]

in this episode Imogen:

Took off her circlet. You know, that one that finally gave her peace and quiet, that soothed her constant pain and anxiety, and that gave her the confidence and energy to get back to fully feeling comfortable on her own skin after years. That’s the one. She just took it off.

Told laudna that she was disgusted by the fact that delilah was always watching them. You know, something that laudna fully has no control over whatsoever.

Admitted that she felt like she’s “tainted” and that the gods have been ignoring her for her entire life, in spite of her trying over and over to reach them. So she doesn’t really want to save them.

Mentioned being genuinely scared of meeting Liliana again. Totally not a problem, I’m sure nothing bad will happen there. Specially not in the next couple of episodes.

Said some unfair stuff to fearne, that I genuinely think is coming from somewhere else entirely, and I hope we circle back to eventually.

It’s safe to say that I am officially ✨worried✨ about the farmgirl

[musicinherhead]

This just makes all the sense in the world

Imogen just used a third level spell slot to not risk failing on her ass in front of Laudna

[deramin2]

Orym's argument against Ludinus Da'leth and the Ruby Vanguard is essentially "The purpose of a system is what it does."

This is a systems theory coined by Stafford Beer around 2001. He posited there is "no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do." It does not matter what someone tells you a system does if it does not reliably do that. The things it does consistently do are the actual purpose of the system.

Ludinus (and Liliana) claim the purpose of the Ruby Vanguard's violence is to free Exandria of oppression from the gods. Orym's point is that they have not consistently protected anyone from oppression. They consistently murder innocent people, indoctrinate vulnerable people into doing terrible violence (including children), support a ruling class that dominates the population through mind control and eugenics, and seek to release a predator so terrifying that the warring alien gods and native primordials worked together to seal it away as a threat to both of them.

So the logical conclusion is that the purpose of Ludinus' system is not to free anyone from tyranny, it's to install himself as the tyrant. And it does not matter what Ludinus says it's for or even what he believes it's for. The purpose of a system is what it does. And Orym has been personally and repeatedly victimized by what it does. Why wouldn't he keep reminding them of that?

Add onto that, the Ruby Vanguard is a death cult. They lure people in with believable lies. They use propaganda to control how people view them and to convince people to support them. Liliana has been groomed into a true believer who genuinely thinks what she has been told is true and that Ludinus' system does what he says it will. She has been convincing other people of this for years. Not because she's an inherently bad person but because everyone generally tries to convince others that what we believe is true. It is actually dangerous to let a cultist try to talk you into the cult's perspective. That's why Orym shuts it down.

Orym was already on edge but it's fully in a breakdown after FCG's sacrifice. One more iteration of Ludinus' system consistently murdering the people he loves. But he still told Imogen he wants her to have a good relationship with her mom again. He wants Liliana to make it through the other side of this. But that has to involve consistently stating the reality of what's happening against what she believes.

Ludinus believes in the rapture of the revolution. Burn everything to the ground on a fundamental level and a new perfect society will grow, with him to guide it. The reality is that kind of power vacuum consistently leads to horrific violence and conditions often get much, much worse. Especially for vulnerable people, who often do not survive. A lot about the gods' relationships to mortals probably needs to change, but this an incredibly dangerous gamble to fix it.

The purpose of a system is what it does. Any suggestion otherwise is cold comfort to Orym's family in the ground.

[quietstormxr]

You'll Survive

Garrick Tavis x Reader

Angst/Violence

Again breaking my heart here, just Garrick this time, as requested.

Summary: Garrick leaves for War Games and you are determined to forget him.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/n: Mentions of Tourture/some swearing, some Iron Flames spoilers

Should we have our angry bad ass girl give Garrick an ass kicking in a part 2?

The anger turned in to absolute despair. How could things have gotten so bad? The last words you exchanged with him were in anger and now you’d never be able to take them back. You’d never know if you really meant anything to him or not. At the same time, you couldn’t decide if you cared or not.

The anger that rotted in your core the entire time you were away was rooted farther than anything you’d ever felt before. He wouldn’t fight for you to join him, but there was Imogen, looking at you with a smug look on her face. You couldn’t help the way your face hardened, and a steely glare settled across your features.

You had seen the way she looked at him when you weren’t around and knew there had to be something there. Whether or not he still felt something, you were unsure. But the minute he turned his back to you and walked towards Imogen for War Games, you felt there was more there than he ever led on. 

You thought back to the last words that you exchanged and couldn’t help the regret that filled every part of your body. 

“So that’s it, huh?” You breathe as Garrick walks towards you. “You won’t even try to convince Xaden to take me?”

“You’re a first year, there’s no reason for you to be with the Wingleader’s headquarters squad.” He said back a calm determination on his face.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Especially given the fact that he’s taking two other first years.” You snapped back viciously. 

“You’re to go with the rest of your squad. You’ll survive without me for a few days.” He says nonchalantly.

After that statement, you couldn’t control the raging inferno that coated your veins and made a home in your stomach. Hot and corrosive, you couldn’t help the way you wanted to punch him straight in the face.

“I see.” You say as you look past Garrick at Imogen still smirking at you smugly. “Well, I hope you enjoy your trip with your girl, because it certainly isn’t me.” You spit as you turn sharply and mount your dragon. 

‘Let’s go Diomat.’ You demand as you refuse to look back down at the infuriating man before you.

‘With pleasure, Bold One.’ Diomat confirms and immediately lifts into the air, but not before issuing a warning growl to your Section Leader.

You refuse to look back and see what emotion Garrick could possibly have on his face. Was he even hurt at what you said or was he smirking that you would ever dare to think he’d want you?

You fly for Eltuval and let the cold wind try to cool the flames that seem to lick underneath your skin. You refuse to let that man be the reason you lose your focus. You let the anger simmer in the hours it takes for you to get to your outpost. 

As soon as you feel Diomat begin her descent, you take a deep breath closing your eyes and try to let the anger filter out of your body. You walk forward to the outpost and listen to the directions of your squad leader and senior leadership. 

Everything seemed to be going according to leaderships plan, until you find yourself slightly farther from the outpost than you anticipated. You’re unsure why, but you were sent to the northwestern most part of region your squad was to be patrolling. You hear a roar that sounds like a dragon and you turn in your seat and look, only to see what appears to be a grey dragon. 

You furrow your brow in confusion as you notice it only has two legs and then watch as it spits blue fire. 

‘Diomat, is there another dragon breed we aren’t taught about?’ You ask with fear starting to lace your mental voice.

‘That is no dragon.’ Diomat replies fiercely.

‘Well, are you going to tell me what it is if it isn’t a dragon?’

‘I believe your leadership may have forced us into a situation we weren’t expecting.’ Diomat snarls. ‘Those abominations are wyvern. I believe you know the stories about them and their creators.’

Your eyes widen and dart between your dragon and the grey wyvern that is flying into the neighboring Poromish town.

‘Wh-Wha-What?’ Even your thoughts begin to stammer as you try to puzzle the pieces together. ‘Why would they send us out here if they knew about this? What are we supposed to do Diomat?’

Your thoughs are a jumble and you can’t seem to process anything. Within the few seconds that were spent hovering in the air to examine the creature, it has now set its sights on you.

“SHIT!” You say as the large grey mass starts barreling towards you at untenable speeds. 

‘Hold on.’ Diomat commands as she begins climbing above the cover of the trees.

‘Is there a way to kill this thing?’ You question in a panic, hoping beyond hope that there’s a solution to this.

‘Do you still have the dagger the Section Leader gave to you?’

You furrow your brows while you pull the runed dagger from the sheath at your calf. You pull it out and your eyes blow wide. Where there was just a normal dagger before, now the hilt is glowing a soft blue color and you can feel the magic thrum through your fingers. 

‘This can kill them?’ 

‘Yes, do you remember what venin look like? Can you transform into what you remember from the descriptions of your book? If so, you may be able to drop down and kill it.’ Diomat explains as we continue to dip, dive, and weave through heavy tree coverage.

‘You want me to get on the back of the wyvern?!?’ You ask incredulously at the plan your dragon has just drawn in your mind.

‘Yes, because you are more than capable of doing this. You are a powerful rider. My rider. And I know that you can do this.’ Diomat says with a tone of absolute conviction.

If only your mind was as certain in your abilities as Diomat’s mind is. 

‘You will need to aim for the chest that should be the weakest part.’ Diomat confirms before you notice her slowing down. 

You turn your head and watch as blue flames continue to blow directly behind your dragon gaining on you second by second. Diomat begins to dip down even further while you begin to float through the memories of the stories of the venin. 

You remember the billowing robes, the red veins, the color of their eyes reflecting their bloodlust for power and finally the veins that mar their tarnished skin. You settle on a full picture in the art gallery in your mind and take a deep breath reaching for Diomat’s power. When you look down at yourself next, your clothes are no longer riding leathers, but a purple robe that looks tattered and moth eaten. You continue to look down at your hands and can’t help the panic that flares to life in your chest when you see the red veins coating every inch of your fingers. 

‘You are still you, Bold One. I would not let you tarnish yourself.’ Diomat consoles as you feel pride radiating from your bond.

‘Okay, Diomat. Let’s take down this thing.’ You think back closing away all the insecurities plaguing your mind. 

Soon enough Diomat is slowing down but lifting you both to the clouds. As you burst through the tree line, you watch as the wyvern continues flying towards where it thought you still were. Slowly you begin to descend and rise from the seat of your dragon and walk towards her front left leg. 

‘This is why I have not been going easy on you, Bold One. I will not leave my rider unprepared, even if the Section Leader wanted to keep this from you.’

As Diomat begins to descend, you look up to the sky and pray to Zinhal that this plan will work. After that one thought, you close your eyes for just a second and let yourself free fall. 

You land with a smack onto a rough grey surface, and you lock every muscle in your body tight. 

Is this why Garrick was always disappearing for hours on end?

You shake your head trying to waft off any other thoughts of the Section Leader when you are trying to kill the beast below you. You cautiously make your way up to the neck scales, until you look up and realize, those aren’t scales, they are feather razors.

You crouch down next to the neck and plunge the dagger you have down as hard as you possibly can. Not expecting the bounce back, you end up being bucked against the razor mane on the neck of the wyvern as the beast bucks and writhes trying to dislodge your dagger. 

You pull yourself forward and wrap both hands around the blade and jump in front of its wing. 

‘Catch me Diomat.’ You think as you feel yourself falling while your dagger peels through the rough skin of the wyvern. 

Your dagger finally breaks free, and you are free falling towards the line of trees.

‘DIOMAT!’

‘Coming, Bold One!’ You hear Diomat’s voice break causing you to let fear take over as you fall faster and faster. 

Your pull on your power lessens and you watch as the robes become your leathers again. You try to bring your leg up and sheath the dagger back at your calf. The next thing you feel is your head hitting branches and your vision swims momentarily. You feel your emotions tugging at you that this is the end, and you will meet Malek today.

‘No, you are destined for great things, Y/N. You will not die today.’ Diomat says authoritatively. 

As if on command at that statement, you finally feel yourself crash into bumpy scales. It takes all the effort you can muster to grab for Diomat’s pommel to stop your own acceleration. You can feel your arms protesting the amount of strength it’s taking to say on while your back screams from the lashes of the wyverns razored feathers. 

Diomat continues to try and stop both your acceleration and keep pace back towards the outpost. You grunt in response to the effort and try to pull yourself back into the seat. Everything in your body is telling you to give in to the sweet call of sleep, but you know you need to wait until you get back to the outpost. 

As you fly closer to Eltuval, you can’t help but feel like something is wrong. You look around at the field where your squad’s dragons had been landing the last four days and see them all gone. 

‘Where did the squad go?’

‘Nokass just confirmed that all Basgiath squads have headed back to the Citadel.’

At that you perk up and your body goes rigid. Did they set you up and leave you to die? Didn’t anyone else see what had happened?

‘Did Nokass give us any orders?’

‘We are to land and debrief with the cadre here. Besides Bold One, you need to have your wounds tended to.’ Diomat says with a hint of trepidation in her voice.

‘Should I tell them about the wyvern?’

‘No. Tell them you fell off when we were accelerating while practicing flight maneuvers.’

You send your understanding back through the bond and dismount Diomat. You don’t make it far before you are escorted by two lieutenants that met you at the flight field. You enter the infirmary there and lay down. 

Soon enough your wounds are tended to, and the mender confirms you need to rest. You fall into a fitful sleep that focuses on wyvern, venin, and a certain dark-haired Section Leader that seems to have been keeping more from you than you ever realized. 

You wake in a sweat and look around confused before realizing where you are. It’s another two days before you are given clearance to leave, which luckily the senior cadre of the outpost seemed to have bought the story that Diomat told you to spin. 

You are given orders to return to Basgiath and a note confirming the reason for your absence. 

Hours later, you are flying on Diomat with the wind battering your new scars and broken thoughts. How much had he been hiding from you this entire time? What did he really know? Were you just a little plaything for him?

As you watch the sun rise, you set your jaw and take a deep breath. You know at this point there is no need in worrying. Graduation is done, and he has most likely been sent to his outpost. You try to let yourself settle at the realization that you’ll never see him again.

When you land in the flight field, you are surprised to see a green dragon seemingly just returning from a flight with their rider. You look over and realize who it is. 

Bodhi. 

As you draw closer with Diomat, you watch as he turns his head and looks back before whipping it back around with wide surprised eyes. 

‘Apparently there was miscommunication. Your squad and the Section Leader were told your name was reported for the death rolls.’ Diomat relays with irritation.

Your eyebrows fly up and eyes widen in surprise. Did none of Basgiath cadre know that you’d been in the infirmary at Eltuval? Why would you have been reported for the death rolls before confirmation would’ve been sent from the outpost? 

You clutch harder to the orders that you were given as you dismount. You trip forward slightly as your blood rushes back into your legs, your body protesting every movement as everything is still tight from your body needing additional recovery.  You slowly stand to your feet and as you look up you are met by surprised brown eyes.

“Wha – How?” You watch as Bodhi sputters. “We were told you were dead. Your name was to be read on the death rolls tomorrow.”

You look at him with a dead panned expression and say in a flat voice. “Well obviously someone got their information wrong.”

You go to turn and walk away, ready to dispel the myths about your apparent demise before you feel Bodhi’s hand on your elbow.

“You need to write to Garrick. He’s an absolute mess.” He says and you can see the sorrow reflected in his gaze for his brother.

“I don’t need to do anything.” You say back coldly, the lies and the way he didn’t fight for you taking forefront in your mind. 

“And you won’t be telling him either.” You warn. “He made his choices. Those things don’t change just because I happen to be alive.”

You watch as a grimace crosses Bodhi’s face clearly remembering the way that you departed for War Games. 

“Besides,” you whisper as you step into Bodhi’s space bringing your mouth to his ear. “I was too busy fighting off and killing a wyvern to worry about writing.”

You relish the way Bodhi’s eyes flash with realization that not only did Garrick leave you behind, but you also now know what he was trying to keep hidden. 

“How about this.” You pull back and add with a challenging tone. “How about you and the rest of your marked friends keep my secret and I’ll keep yours? Hmm.”

You watch as Bodhi seems to weigh his options before nodding in defeat, his head falling forward. 

“Good. Pleasure doing business with you Durran.” You purr venomously. 

You fully turn now and walk purposefully towards the Commandant’s office looking to clear yourself. You will not let Garrick’s feelings over your supposed death completely erase the way he left you behind and apparently never trusted you in the first place.

As you stride through the halls of the Rider’s Quadrant, you begin to relish the looks of shock from everyone around you. You briefly wonder if you’re the only person who was seemingly resurrected after War Games, but the thought is fleeting when you feel a body run straight into you, tearing the breath out of you.

“Gods. How are you alive? Where have you been?” You look up to realize that you’ve been engulfed in a hug by your best friend and squad mate and crack the first smile you’ve had in days.

“Let’s just say the front gave Diomat and I some personal surprises on our patrol. Ones that landed me in Eltuval’s Infirmary for two days after you all left.” You say while trying to evade the full answer to the question. 

“I knew it wouldn’t be that easy to kill you.” His answer causes a laugh to bubble out of you involuntarily.

“Come on, I have to go deliver this to Pancheck before everyone really thinks I’m dead.” You pull him along and head towards the Commandant’s headquarters.

Weeks pass and you get back to normal or whatever can possibly pass as your new normal. You can’t help the way you notice those that were in Resson are being targeted for what you assume is the same knowledge you now have. However, for whatever reason the cadre seems to have bought your story, at least for now. 

You’ve also been avoiding the dirty looks Imogen gives you any time you happen to be in the same room. Why the hell can’t she just leave you alone? She got what she wanted, so you can’t understand what her issue is. Though luckily for you, your deal with Bodhi makes sure you don’t have to worry about her little obsession worrying over you. 

You’ve avoided Violet like the absolute plague ever since returning and was lucky enough to be shuffled into a squad with no marked ones after the disaster that was parapet. 

You’ve heard people talking about Riorson coming back to Basgiath, but you’ve so far been lucky to avoid him. Until one day in the rotunda you’re walking to your next class and you’re unfortunate enough to see him standing not far away talking to Bodhi. 

You watch as he looks up and directly at you and then whip his heads around again towards you before blinking several times and rubbing his eyes. Fortunately for you, practicing with your signet has you ready for this unfortunate meeting. As soon as you see him, you immediately change your hair and eye color, along with angling out your features more. 

You look towards your squad mate to your right and smirk as his features slacken slightly at your change in appearance.

“Stop gawking or Riorson is going to get suspicious.” You tell him lowly. 

He shakes his head and moves his eyes to back in front of you. You both continue to walk on your way to your next class and enter the door taking a seat.

“Since when can you do that?” He asks now looking at you with open fascination.

“Since about right before we left for War Games last year. Diomat and I practiced while everyone else was too busy getting drunk before the Reunification Day party. Just haven’t had the reason to show off my skills.” You recount. 

“I can change pretty much my entire appearance.” You relay as you begin to smirk again and completely transform yourself into looking like your friend in front of you.

“Well godsdamn. I look absolutely fabulous.” He quips. 

With that you break down and start laughing uncontrollably. With that loss of fine control, you morph back into your own form. You watch as suddenly his face turns serious.

“Have you really not written or heard from Tavis?” He asks a hint of trepidation at the topic hitting his voice.

“No.” You sigh before replying. “I convinced Durran that he had to keep the secret of my existence to himself and the rest of his marked friends here in exchange for a favor to them as well. So, my secret is safe with me, which is why I didn’t want Riorson to see me. He’s unaware of his cousin’s deal.”

Your friend shakes his head in comprehension and you both face forward as the professor comes into the class. 

Weeks continue to fly by in a whir of classes and idiotic RSC challenges. At this point, you don’t even know what the class is even worth. They aren’t truly giving anyone the whole story and battle brief continues to be a joke. 

You have started training with Diomat after classes hoping to get better at flight maneuvers so that you’re truly prepared for the upcoming war. It’s after a grueling training session with her that you are taken by surprise while walking back to your room. 

Before you can react to protect yourself, you feel something blunt slam into the back of your head and your vision swims before you fall to a heap on the ground. 

As you slowly wake up, you can’t seem to stop the incessant pounding in your head. Your head rolls back and forth as you try to shake off the haze. When your eyes open, you are met with a dirt ceiling that looks like it has been carved in the underground. 

You try to move your arms and feel the sharp bite of iron around your wrists and biceps. You sit up straight just to find yourself strapped to a wooden chair. You shake your head again and look around searching for your squad mates like you would normally find for the special torture that is RSC.

Unfortunately for you, there isn’t anyone else here. You hear footsteps from outside the door and draw in a quick breath stealing yourself for whatever horror is coming your way.

As the door opens you smell the sour stench of body odor and hair oil that permeates the air. As you take in the man before you confusion knits your brow. 

Why would Varrish be here? You hadn’t done anything to draw attention to yourself since returning from War Games. Did Bodhi or one of the marked ones sell you out?

You have little more time to think about what is happening before you feel a hand connect with your cheek. You let out a grunt as your head whips to the side and pain bursts across your mouth. 

“Seems fitting after all of your lies to be sitting in this chair, doesn’t it?” He croons as he slowly walks around the chair you are strapped to. 

“I don’t know what lies you speak of Vice Commandant.” You spit. The last thing you will do is break to this disgusting husk of a man. 

“Oh, I believe you do.” He sneers. “You and Sorrengail will be instrumental in getting Riorson and Tavis to spill everything they know.”

You can’t help the sarcastic huff that leaves you. The bitter taste of anger and betrayal still whirring inside you.

“You’ll find that you are wrong about Tavis.” You protest vehemently. “His affections lie elsewhere. You are wasting your time with me.”

A sickening sneer of a smile crosses Varrish’s face and you know that nothing you will say will change his mind.

“Oh, I’m aware he may think you’re dead. But that doesn’t mean when he arrives you won’t be bait for him.” He whispers as he leans in close where the stench of him is almost enough to make you sick. 

He then rears back, and head butts you in the face and you hear a sickening crunch before the blood starts pouring from your nose. You try to hold in your scream, but it’s no use. You know he won’t stop until he gets what he wants from you. 

“Just give me some information and you can have your connection to your dragon back and you can go back to class, no one the wiser.”

You lift your chin in defiance at the vile man in front of you and let the blood from your broken nose into your mouth before spitting it right in his face. There’s no doubt in your mind that you will not risk your dragon or anyone else’s life to save your own. 

It takes a few hours before you realize that this torture will be never ending. Immediately after you think he is finished; he calls in Nolon to mend your body multiple times a day.

“Is it really worth keeping their secrets?” Nolon asks a note of sympathy and regret in his eyes as he mends your broken collarbone. 

“I will give my life for anyone’s. Secrets or no.” You spit at the man you had once seen as a kind and gentle soul. 

Nolon shakes his head and continues his work as you try to push away the pain of mending and focus on anything else. 

It’s about the eighth time that Nolon has come in to mend you before you start to feel like giving up may be the only option. 

“Can’t you just let me die already?” You viciously call back to the man healing you just so you can be broken again. 

“I’m sorry cadet, but this can all stop when you answer the Vice Commandant’s questions.” 

You turn your head away from him, not wanting to give him any more attention and let your body slip into unconsciousness. 

What seems like eternities later, you hear commotion outside the door that you’ve been holed up in. As you fade in and out from pain, you hear voices but you’re unsure of who they belong to. A strong crack in the rocks of the cell makes you jolt conscious, but you’re still unsure of what’s going on. 

“Wait.” You hear a male voice call. “Vi wasn’t the only one down here.”

“What are you talking about Aetos?” You hear a gruff voice call back. Your foggy mind wants to say it’s Garrick, but you know that must be impossible.

The next thing you know, the lock of the door is clicking open, and you turn your head to see what your next form of torture will be. 

As you look up, you meet warm brown eyes that shine with concern. 

“I didn’t realize you gave a damn about anyone but Violet, Aetos.” You rasp back, your voice disjointed from the amount of screaming you’d done and the number of times you’d been almost choked to death. 

“Luckily for you I knew that they took someone besides just Violet.” He says rushing to the chair. “Do you think you’ll be able to stand?”

You try and shrug your shoulders, but everything in your body seems to weigh ten times the amount it normally does. Aetos continues to unhook the restraints around your body and soon enough is trying to help lift you. 

Your broken tibia screams in protest, but the action of moving on your own two feet is not something you’re willing to give up. As you slowly make your way out of the cell, you both turn and look up. Staring back at you are a pair of stunned hazel eyes.

You watch as Garrick’s eyes widen to the point of concern, and he falls to his knees seeming to not believe what he’s seeing. As you stare at him, you watch as tears begin to swim in his eyes. The anger and helplessness you’ve been feeling curls around you and you close your eyes in anguish.

“You were right.” You rasp slowly with a thoughtful pause. 

“I guess I did survive.” You say before your overwhelming feelings and pain draws you under.

[franavu]

While the Archheart's plan seems completely in character for a chaotic god who just wants out of their current situation (kudos to Abubakar), it's also an absolutely terrible idea. Let's say the absolutely best case scenario is going to happen. In that best case:

Imogen and/or Fearne can control Predathos enough that they're not completely erased (this would be the least important part in the grand scheme of things.)

When Predathos is syphoned from the moon it only takes the energy and doesn't cause the moon to crack/explode/implode, causing it to rain chunks of moon down on Exandria.

All the gods actually leave. This is not a certainty as per Taliesin the Wildmother has invested so much of herself in the world that she likely can't leave. I would imagine that that means that the Lawbearer is sticking around as well. Not to mention what would happen to the Chained Oblivion, it's not the same as the other gods, and as far as I know it only showed up sometime during the schism. (Is it even prey for Predathos? Is it of the same species? Would there be a Chained Oblivion Predathos Kaiju battle, with Exandria as the battleground? Who knows?)

On the way out the lower and higher planes get locked down so there is no extraplanar invasion. (The biggest worry would be demons/devils but I can imagine planetars etc. can make a problem of themselves if they see a good cause)

On the way out Predathos doesn't decide to snack on lesser divine beings/things (Uk'otoa, parts of the Luxon, etc) leaving its mutating properties behind. (see the Savalir wood)

The bloody bridge gets dissolved and doesn't tear Exandria's magic apart.

Now, in the absolute best case scenario, none of the above is going to be a problem. Regardless, what is going to be a problem:

Divine magic is going to be weakened at the least. The number of divine healers is going to tank, and while there are lesser beings that can grant divine magic, and it is possible, but difficult, to wield it without any (see Calamity). That's going to take a while to sort out, and in the meantime there's going to be a lot less healing.

A lot of things that got out during the Solstice are still out, like the Phoenix thing that is similar to Uk'otoa (which is probably out again as well) and they are a lot more difficult to seal without divine aid.

There is also still a significant invasion force of Ruidians that are going to be a problem, not to mention the Ruby Vanguard

With the gods gone, a lot of semi-divine powers, whether good or bad, are going to be empowered through new followers and/or warlock pacts, without anyone to keep them in line (again, see Artagan or Uk'otoa)

Vasselheim, the oldest city in the world, is going to have massive issues of at least morale, and is likely not going to be in a state to do anything outside of its own borders.

Other political entities are also going to be looking inwards, consolidating their own resources, and shedding their pereferies. I'd say that, for example, the Dwendalian Empire is likely going to shrink. Countries that are less effected by the loss of the gods, may very well go to war. Places that have been protected by the gods are going to lose that protection, Niirdal-Poc and the other cities which were protected by the Wildmother are probaly going to be run over by the Iron Authority.

Outside of actual war, demagogues, warlords, cult leaders, etc. are going to spring up in the chaos, with various degrees of violence.

And finally there is the biggest problem, wizards. Since long before the Calamity the holy grail of magic was ascension to godhood, and now the thrones are empty. A whole bunch of wizards are going to try for them, and in the best case scenario they fail and only take a chunk of empty countryside with them. In the worst case they succeed, seeing that wizards who's ambition is godhood absolutely should not have it. And now there is no divine gate or other deities to curtail them. So there'll soon be a new, worse pantheon.

So the Archheart is right, there will be a new balance, but as that usually goes, the new balance is going to be built on a pile of corpses, and is likely going to be worse than the previous one.

But hey,

[rucksackmentality]

List of the truths shared in Nana Morri's Honesty trial (C3E79):

Imogen: I am genuinely scared to meet my mom again.

Laudna: Deep down inside, both Delilah and I want the shard...Fearne should have it, but I don't know anymore what's my opinion or desires or feelings, or hers.

Imogen: I love Laudna deeply but I'm disgusted at the thought of Delilah looking at us all the time.

Orym: I'm super lonely all the time, especially at night. It doesn’t matter if I'm bunking with one of you guys.

FCG: Sometimes I pity some of you because you have beating hearts and opportunities and you don’t do enough with them...Chetney, you have so much love to give and it doesn't seem like you're interested in anything other than wood! There's people out there who you could love and experiences you could share with someone else, but all you care about is wood!

Orym: I've always kind of laughed it off but I guess I do kind of wonder if Chetney is my dad.

Ashton: I am the reason that the Jiana Hexum robbery went fucking wrong, and the reason why I got thrown out of a fucking window.

Fearne: I feel like we’re very ill-equipped for this job and we're going to fail at saving the world. (Laudna: Honestly that's probably true, I'm right there with you.)

Chetney: While wood may be the superior material to metal, I do fear that, with the dwindling interest in it, that children will find my toys - and thereby myself - obsolete every year I grow older.

FCG: I think it's something buried deep down in my circuitry, but every time I hurt or kill something - it feels really good. It makes me sort of relax a little bit and some of my stress goes away.

Imogen: I know we're supposed to save the gods, but I've tried talking to them my whole life and none of them would ever respond. I think I'm tainted. I dont know if I want to save gods that don't love me.

Laudna: You know we could rip-cord out of [saving the world] at any moment...right? And sometimes I fantasize about it all the time.

Fearne: I sometimes do stuff to you guys while you're sleeping - not weird stuff, I just like to look at you closely...and maybe like, twiddle your hair or braid it. Nothing bad!

Ashton: Whenever it starts to get quiet, I start worrying that one of us - most of us - are going to end up killing another one of us accidentally...I have panicked thinking about when one you kills another one of us.

Orym: I have all the faith in the world in you guys...and I have also spent time thinking of how to neutralize each of you.

FCG: I kinda worry that I put all my eggs in the Changebringer basket and she might betray us all. I had a really weird conversation with her and I think she's just out for herself and she might not really care about me - but what if she does? And I'm saying horrible things?

Imogen: Fearne, I was really disappointed in you for running away from your power. You should take the shard!

Orym: I really miss Dorian, and sometimes I think that's okay, and sometimes I think it isn't.

Ashton: I feel fucking worse that I just fucked up Fearne's life way more than mine and I should've died instead of that happening.

Chetney: I grew up in the Bramblewood outside of Westruun, and when I was a kid, I came back from learning how to make toys and found that my whole family had left. All they left behind were toys. They ran when Errevon the Rimelord was running across the plains, and so I'm kind of afraid of dragons. And I had five siblings - Alabaster, Pepper, Sugarplum, Hermey, and Chad - and I was so mad that they left I never looked for any of them, and now I'm pretty sure they're dead. So I think any family I have is just gonna look for a reason to leave me. That's why I don't get attached to anybody.

[barrel-crow-n]

Something that makes me crazy is the difference in how Kanej deals with their issues.

Kaz was hurt so he hurt others. He got scammed so he became the scammer. He was beaten up so he became the one beating people up. He found a way to thrive in the toxic cycle of violence in the Barrel. This keeps him alive, but makes him a bad person. Kaz doesn't care. Kaz left decency behind the second that was what was necessary to survive. He shrugged it off like a cheap coat. Don't like touch? Simple. Break anybodies wrist that dares touch you; break their arm. Give them a reason to keep away. Make them scared because that keeps you safe (and as a result will keep them safer from you).

Inej was hurt so she prevents others from being hurt. She hunts down slavers so children won't have the same fate as her. She can't just leave decency behind, her values and beliefs won't allow it. She does penance after every kill, she cried after killing the first time, she isn't keen on violence and only does it when completely necessary (at odds with Kaz that attacks at the slightest provocation to the point of everyone giving him a wide berth). The violence committed on her makes her angry (and righteously) but she doesn't lash out at everyone like Kaz does, she holds that back for a select few, to make them pay for the suffering they've caused.

Kaz felt like he died and became someone new so he leaned into it. He change his name from Rietveld to Brekker, he became someone new, a stranger. Nobody knew who he was, or where he came from. Kaz Rietveld was dead, and a monster had taken his place.

Inej also says that she feels like she died. She says that the girl she had been died in the belly of a slavers ship. However, unlike Kaz, she refuses to change her name. And dehumanisation links to this!

Kaz was dehumanised so he dehumanised himself further. Dirtyhands. Per Haskell's rabid dog. Demjin. Kaz thrives in this, because it makes him feel safe, it makes him feel untouchable. Kaz Rietveld was weak, so was replaced by Kaz Brekker. When that isn't enough, Dirtyhands is there to get the rough work done.

Inej was dehumanised so she humanised herself. She is not a lynx or a spider or a wraith. She is Inej Ghafa. She is a pirate vigilante, rescuer of slaves. And the interesting thing is that Kaz offered this to her too! He asks her "Is that what you prefer to be called?" (referring to her name, Inej Ghafa) when buying her indenture at the Menagerie. He is offering her the same thing he did. A change of name, a clean slate. But she declines. She is a Ghafa and no matter what happens to her, she always will be.

Kaz was traumatised so he isolated himself. He holds people at arms length because he sees them as weaknesses, or as obstacles between him and his revenge. He put his gloves on and doesn't take them off, he failed once with Imogen and decided to never try again. He yearns for connection but it only serves to isolate him further. Because they have no idea what it's like to watch friends hug, knowing you can never have the same. Kaz builds up armour (the gloves) but he doesn't tackle the root problem that is his fear of touch. He tried once and failed and quit (which is actually out of character for him, in contrast with him learning magic ceaselessly until he has mastered it - and shows how terrified he is and how disgusted he is at himself) and this serves to make him feel like he just can't. Like the dream of friends is hopeless.

Inej was traumatised so she seeks human connection. She has Jesper and Nina. She has the other Crows. She tries to heal, to open herself up. She might still flinch at touch occasionally but her friends are helping her and she wants to try and heal. She knows how to ask for help.

In all, Inej's ways of coping are a lot healthier. Kaz is stuck in a toxic cycle, and has been for years, but Inej is giving him a way out of it. Finally, he can make the step towards proper healing. He won't change his name back. He won't stop being a gangster. But he can feel more comfortable in himself and with his friends. And that's what Inej wants to give him, because she knows how important that is.

[alliekitaguchi]

one thing I’m hoping is addressed in future episodes is the fact that laudna sometimes acts like she’s the only one who’s ever been through her own trauma. and yes, what she’s been through is AWFUL, but everyone has been through something

- laudna was tricked, tortured, hung, revived, and wandered the world for about 30 years by herself before she found Imogen (though Marisha has stated there was someone before Imogen, but that hasn’t come up in game yet), and then died again, before being revived again. she has delilah in her head, which is Not Great, but laudna consciously brought her back

- imogen was abandoned by her mother at a young age and grew up with an absent father, who revered her as a freak, and was an outcast everywhere she went

- fearne was abandoned by her parents and has had her life be in the hands of others for over 100 years, mainly her “grandmother”, who has been stretching their time together to keep her longer. she’s also been killed, and found out that she was a purposefully made by a villain for some nefarious purposes

- ashton lives every single day in pain, grew up in a cult, died, woke up in a new body that was broken, didn’t know anything about himself, has been alone since he was a child, exploded into a thousand pieces before painfully reforming with new, more “broken” body parts

- fcg was an assassin bot that sat untouched for 2,000 years before being brought to life and thrown headfirst into society with no help or instructions, and then died tragically

- chetney has lived over 300 years by himself because his family abandoned him and he had to come to terms with the fact that they’re all likely dead, and the loss messed him up so bad that he’s avoided making meaningful connections with people ever since, and he literally JUST died, was revived, and watched the person who deemed him worthy of saving sacrifice themself

- orym watched the love of his life and his father figure be cut down in front of him, watched his friend accept a cursed crown that permanently changed her, was killed and revived

there’s no denying that she’s been through something horrendous, but she has to make the conscious choice to get better. to quote matt & marisha both: laudna is an addict, and she digs herself into her grief so deeply that she can’t see the cracks in everyone else.

she was right that orym should’ve talked to the whole group before taking otohan’s sword, but she was a hypocrite because she tried to steal it off of him. the sword is the source of her trauma, but it’s the source of orym’s too. she told chetney to not talk to her about loss after learning just mere weeks ago that he lost his entire family in one day.

i thought dorian put it beautifully: “it’s just a thing.” it only holds power over you if you let it. she’s dead. the blade no longer hurts you unless you let it.

there’s something so riveting about watching the nuances of trauma unfold in juicy, juicy ways

[taeggukxiie]

Since I'm broke and dumb I can't make a Spotify Playlist for them because I ain't got the app, so here's fifteen songs that make me think of dabihawks because I'm obsessed and I love music:

- The Smiths: Bigmouth strikes again

"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head."

- Radiohead : Creep

"I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here."

- The neighborhood: Daddy issues (OF COURSE.)

"I'd do whatever I could do. I'd run away and hide with you. I know that you have daddy issues, and I do too."

- Gracie Abrams: I love you I'm sorry

"You were the best but you were the worst, as sick as it sounds I loved you first. I was a dick, it is what it is, a habit to kick, the age-old curse."

- New Order: Crystal

"I don't know what to say. You don't care anyway. I'm a man in a rage with a girl I betrayed."

- Stray Kids: Silent cry

"The rainwater wells up, everything is complicated. The dark shadow behind your bright appearance can be shown to me, don't hide it from me."

- Lady Gaga: Judas

"Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain. Even after three times he betrays me."

- The Weeknd: Until I bleed out

"Well I don't wanna touch the sky no more, I just wanna feel the ground when I'm coming down."

- Taylor Swift: I can do it with a broken heart

"Cuz I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit, they said babe you gotta fake it 'til you make it and I did."

- System of a down: Chop Suey

"Father into your hand I command my spirit, father into your hands, why have you forsaken me?"

- Agust D: People

"What kind of person am I? Am I a good person? Or a bad person? Many ways to judge."

- Imogen Heap: Headlock

"You say too late to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don't believe any of it."

- Halsey: Him and I

"He's out his head, I'm out my mind, we got that love, the crazy kind. I am his and he is mine, in the end it's him and I."

- Lana del Rey: Doin' Time

"Evil, I've come to tell you that she's evil, most definitely. Evil, ornery, scandalous and evil, most definitely. The tension, it's getting hotter."

- Mr. Kitty: After Dark

"I've given what I have, I showed you I'm growing. The ashes fall slowly as your voice consoles me."

[writinginatree]

Adaptability

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran/female!reader, Imogen Cardulo & Garrick Tavis & reader

Summary: After an injury sustained at Resson leaves you with a lasting impairment, your boyfriend Bodhi helps you as best as he can while you learn how to navigate the world under these new conditions.

Warnings: Spoiler for the start of Iron Flame, swearing, injury, implied panic attack, mentions of canon-typical violence and canon character death, reader is a marked one

A/N: Phew, this one took me pretty long to write... The stuff with reader's signet was a bit of a challenge, but I hope I managed to explain it in a way that makes sense? Idk, but all in all I'm surprisingly happy with how this turned out ^^

Part 2

Everything is black. You try to open your eyes, but they're already open. They feel sore, like when you've been looking in the sun for too long. Voices reach you through the haziness of your mind, overlapping so you can't make out the words. The voices stop, someone walks away, the sound of their footsteps unnaturally loud in your pounding head.

You try to sit up. The surface below you feels soft, like a bed, but that can't be right. You were in the middle of battle when— shit! The venin!

You sense movement beside you and reach for the alloy-hilted dagger that should be strapped to your thigh, but find nothing. Still sluggish from your involuntary nap and disoriented by the lingering darkness, you feel around for your other daggers. The one at your hip is right where it belongs, and you instantly feel better when your fingers wrap around the hilt. It won't kill the venin, but it's better than nothing. You probably dropped the alloy one when you passed out. It has to be close by. You'll just—

A hand is placed on top of yours before you can fully draw your weapon, and you flinch.

"It's okay," someone says. "The battle is over, you're safe."

"Bodhi? Is that you?" You know it's him from his voice, but the darkness irritates you. You look in the direction he seems to be in and try to find his face in the darkness. Nothing. Why the fuck is it so dark? For a moment you think that maybe Xaden encased the area in shadow, but if the battle is over, that doesn't make much sense. "What's going on?"

There's movement again, then you feel Bodhi sit down closer to you, his hip touching yours. He takes both your hands in his and places a kiss first on one, then the other.

"You got injured and passed out," he explains, as if you can't figure that much out yourself. You remember the venin in front of you, a blinding explosion before unconsciousness came over you.

"I feel fine. Besides a bit of a headache. But why is it so dark?"

Only silence. If he weren't still holding your hands, you might have thought he left.

"Bodhi?"

"It's not dark, love. The sun from the window is shining right at you."

Window? Okay, so you definitely aren't in Resson anymore. And now that he says it, you become aware of the warm feeling of sunlight on your skin. But— "What are you talking about?! It's pitch black in here. Wherever here is. I can't see shit!"

"Here is my room. At Aretia." You want to ask what the fuck you're doing in Aretia, but he already continues, "And you can't see because—" He swallows hard. "Because your eyes are— they're hurt pretty bad. Brennan mended what he could, but..."

Cold dread creeps into you. You shake your head and try to pull your hands from Bodhi's to feel for your eyes, but he holds on tight.

"But?" you urge him to finish his sentence. You're not sure you actually want to hear it, but you need to.

"But he can't restore your vision," Bodhi says quietly. "I didn't understand everything he said, but that's what it comes down to. You will never see again."

No. It can't be. It can't be.

"I'm so sorry, darling."

You shake your head, trying to deny that this is happening. There's no way. It has to be a nightmare. Some sick joke. A trick the venin are playing on you. Maybe you're still in the midst of battle and none of this is actually real. But no matter how many times you close your eyes and open them again, the darkness just won't yield.

"Shh, don't panic," Bodhi pleads. "Please don't panic."

"You're telling me I'm blind and I'm not supposed to panic?!" You cringe at the way you sound — like a hysterical little girl. As a rider, you should have more composure than that. You know Bodhi is right, freaking out won't make it better. But knowing that does nothing to help you stay calm. This can't be happening, that's all you can think.

Suddenly your dragon's voice fills your head, her relief palpable. "You're awake."

"I can't see!"

"I know," Fonn soothes. "I know. But you will adapt."

You shake your head, biting back a sob as you block her out. You can't deal with her endless fucking optimism right now.

"I'm sorry," Bodhi says, and pulls you into his arms. There is nothing he can say to make this better, and he seems to know it, because he doesn't say any more.

For a few minutes he just holds you in silence, rocking back and forth with you in an effort to soothe you. You're aware you're starting to hyperventilate as the panic rises the more the truth sets in, but you can't seem to stop the sobbing, no matter how hard you try. Blind. You're fucking blind. Who has ever heard of a blind rider? You're fucking dead. Fresh meat for your enemies, defenseless because you can't see them.

"You will learn how to fight without seeing them," Fonn insists, ripping through your mental shields as though they're paper. You really need to get better at keeping them up even under extreme stress. You block her again, putting more effort into it this time. Hearing that you should look at the positive side, how lucky you are to still be alive at all, is the last thing you need right now, and knowing Fonn, that's exactly how she views the situation.

"Shh, baby, breathe" Bodhi soothes. "Come on, deep breaths, nice and slow."

You try, but still all you manage are shallow sobs that barely get any air into your lungs. Bodhi holds you tighter, trying to comfort you with his presence, cradling your head against the junction of his neck. Burying your face against his skin makes you feel a little better. That way, you can pretend the reason you can't see is only that your eyes are squeezed shut. There's just one problem — pressing your face against him like that makes it even harder to breathe properly.

You can't tell how much time passes, but eventually, your tears slow to a trickle, and finally stop altogether. Bodhi cups your cheek and makes you lift your head a little — to look at you, you assume. Fresh despair washes over you at the realization that you will never get to look at him again, but no more tears will come. You've cried yourself dry.

The feeling of his lips on yours startles you, but it only takes you a second to gather yourself and eagerly kiss back.

"You'll be okay," he mutters against your lips. "I'm here for you."

You decide to ignore the first part of what he said — the part you don't have it in you to believe — and focus on the second half. He's here for you. Yes. And you're eternally grateful for that. You don't know what you'd do without him.

"Everything will be alright," he repeats.

You've let your mental shields down again, and Fonn senses your doubt. "He's right," she says. "Out of all the riders I've had, you're the strongest, smartest and bravest. And you know I've had a bunch of them over the years. This will make things hard for a while, but you'll be okay. I'm sure of it."

"If you say so," you reply, both out loud to Bodhi, and through your mental connection to Fonn. Sitting up straighter, you only now notice that Bodhi has only been holding you with one arm, the other squeezed in between your bodies. Feeling for it, you realize it's in a sling. "You're hurt too."

"Just a broken arm and a few scratches," Bodhi assures you. "No big deal."

Compared to your own injury, you suppose it really isn't. A broken arm is hardly more than an annoyance, painful but temporary. Unlike your eyes, it will be healed soon.

You take a deep breath and try to focus on something else. It's surprisingly easy when you realize you don't know where the rest of your friends are. Gods, you hope nothing happened to any of them.

"What about the others? Is everyone okay?"

Bodhi winces. "Soleil and Liam didn't make it." Two. Two of your friends are dead. Had that happened after you got injured, or had you simply missed it in the chaos of battle? "Violet is hurt, too."

"How bad?"

"A venin stabbed her with a poisoned dagger. Brennan mended her, but she's still unconscious."

"Will she be okay?"

You send a silent prayer to Zihnal that she will — and not just because her life is tied to that of Xaden, who is one of your closest friends. You like Violet. To say you and her are friends would be an exaggeration, but you could be — almost certainly would, if things weren't so complicated. Maybe you actually will become friends, now that the truth is out. If she survives.

"We're not sure. But Brennan seems to think so."

"Good. That's good."

Questions about your comrades thus answered, your thoughts return to your own condition. Is there really nothing that can be done? And if there isn't, then what now?

"Your signet might help you get by," Fonn suggests. She seems to have thought it through already in the hours you were unconscious. "You know how your sound waves reflect off of the objects around you? With a bit of practice I'm sure you can use that to get a mental picture of your surroundings."

You hate having to destroy her hopes in the idea — she seems so proud. But it won't work. "The sound would have to be so loud it would turn everyone around me deaf to get a clear picture."

"Not necessarily. You could use a sound frequency humans can't hear, the way bats do."

"I don't know, Fonn. I have no idea how that works. I don't even know if I can produce ultrasound waves."

"I don't see why not. They're sound waves like any other. There's no reason you should only be able to produce those your human ears can hear. It's worth a try, at least."

You suppose she's right, even if the mere thought exhausts you. A hopelessness is settling in your chest the more you start to accept that your eyesight is truly irredeemable. But you're a rider, and riders don't give up. Even if you wanted to, Fonn wouldn't let you, nor Bodhi.

"Are you hungry?" he asks now.

You nod.

"I'll get you something to eat. Wait here, I'll be right back."

"Bodhi, wait!" If he leaves you alone like this, unable to see, in a place you're unfamiliar with, clueless how long it will take him to walk to the kitchen and back, you'll go mad. You can't stand the thought of being alone in this foreign, permanent darkness. "Let me come."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay in bed and rest a bit longer?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, Bodhi. Well... as fine as one can be after finding out they've turned blind. I don't want to be alone."

Bodhi takes your hand and pulls you to your feet. "Alright. Come on then."

He leads you through what feels like an endless labyrinth of wide, echoing halls and stairways, walking slowly and giving you plenty of warning whenever you get to another flight of stairs or doorway so you don't stumble or walk into anything. It's nerve-wracking to not know where exactly you are, to have to completely rely on another person's guidance. No idea what's around you, if there's anyone else in the room. You thank the gods you have Bodhi by your side. There's no one else in the world you trust as much as you trust him, no one else you would feel safe to blindly follow — literally.

He opens a door, and even before he says, "Here we are", you know from the smell of fresh bread hanging in the air that the room he's leading you into has to be the kitchen. Judging from the sounds, someone is working on one side of the room, but they don't pay any attention to you as far as you can tell. Bodhi gently pushes you into a chair, instructing you to stay there. Your anxiety rises as he walks away, but you reassure yourself with the fact that he's still in the same room. You hear him rummage around just a few feet away, and a minute later he's back by your side and places a plate in your hands.

You want to be close to him, have the reassurance of his touch to prove you're not alone even if you can't see him, so you sit in Bodhi's lap as you eat, his arm around your waist so you know he's there even when he's silent. It's not until you start to eat that you realize just how hungry you really were, and you quickly finish your plate.

When you're done, Bodhi turns your head back toward him and kisses away a crumb from your lips.

Leaning back, you trace your fingers over the scars that now surround your eyes, try to imagine what they look like. Most riders love comparing their scars, competing for whose are the coolest, and you're no exception. "Does it at least look badass?" you want to know from Bodhi. Surely a cool look to make up for the loss of your eyesight isn't too much to ask for, is it?

"Very," Bodhi assures you, nuzzling his face against the side of your neck.

"Well, I guess that's okay then," you decide with a sigh. You will wear the scars with pride, like a badge that tells everyone you've survived a fight against the venin.

"Don't worry," Bodhi says, and you can hear the grin in his voice, "I promise you're still the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

You elbow him, smiling despite yourself. "Shut up."

"Never. Now that you can't see how pretty you are anymore, I'll just have to remind you of it even more often."

The door opens, and two sets of footsteps approach.

"Y/N! You're up!"

You turn your head in the direction of the voice, which you're pretty sure is Imogen's. She and whoever is with her come closer. One of the two has a heavier footfall than the other, so you assume it's one of the guys. Garrick, maybe? It can't be Xaden, because according to Bodhi, his cousin refuses to leave Violet's side for even a second, and the other guys aren't that much bigger than Imogen, so their footsteps wouldn't sound so stomp-y compared to hers.

"Barely conscious again and you two are already all over each other again," someone chuckles, and yep, that's Garrick, all right. No one else teases Bodhi and you as relentlessly as he does.

"I'm just helping her," Bodhi says defensively. He told you on the walk to the kitchen that the others are aware you've lost your vision, which is a relief. Having to tell them yourself, to witness their shock and pity, would have made this even harder to bear.

"Of course," Garrick snorts, but then gets more serious. "How are you coping, Y/N?"

You force a smile. "I'm fine. Still a bit... well... shocked, I guess. But I'll get used to it." You'll have to.

"Tell us if there's anything we can do to help, yeah?"

You nod. "Yeah. Thanks."

Despite how compassionate and helpful everyone is being, you spend most of your time hiding away in Bodhi's room. You've been to Riorson House only twice before and would have felt lost in the unfamiliar fortress either way, but being blind on top of that, you don't feel safe roaming the vast fortress on your own, and therefore refuse to leave the room without Bodhi. Fonn can keep telling you that you will adapt all she wants; until you figure out how to use your signet for echolocation — if that's really possible at all — you're not taking a single step past this room without Bodhi.

Inside his room, you're comfortable enough to walk around without his guidance. He walked the perimeter of the room with you a few times after your little trip to the kitchen, and you quickly memorized the layout. Four steps from the bed to the bathing chamber, five from the bed to the door leading into the hallway. The window is one small step to the right of his desk, the chair of which is pushed in so you can't fall over it. Bodhi ensures every item lying around on the surfaces in his room or the bathing chamber has its place to make it easier for you to find anything.

The first time you try to use your signet to navigate around, you're standing in the foyer with everyone after dinner on your first day at Aretia. The mood is low, the loss of Liam and Soleil weighing down on you all, not to mention the worry about Violet. None of you really know what to do with themselves. Everyone agreed to wait a little longer before burying Liam and Solei and burning their things in the hopes that Violet will wake up first so she and Xaden can be there too, and it's much too early to go to bed, so you all stand in the hall, talking. You're a little off to the side, not much interested in the conversation. The others are talking about what they can do now that you're at Aretia, if they can help somehow while you're here, wondering how long you'll have to stay. You too wonder when — if — you'll return to Basgiath. There's no use worrying about it, though. Until Violet wakes up, none of you are going anywhere. And the others might be able to make themselves useful here, but blind as you are, there's not much you can do, except try to find a way to navigate the world without help.

Step one of achieving that is finding out if Fonn was right about the possibility of using your signet for echolocation. You take a few more steps away from the group, one hand on the wall so you don't lose track of where you are. Might as well test Fonn's theory here and now.

You reach for your power and prepare. It has to be a frequency far above what humans can hear, much higher pitched than any sound you've ever produced before. Careful to put less force behind the sound waves than you do when you use them in a fight, you release them — and immediately realize you fucked it up, the echo useless as the crash of shattering glass distorts it. Bodhi's hand closes around your arm as he takes a few quick steps to the side with you, pulling you out of the shower of glass shards. There must have been a window right next to where you'd been standing.

"Sorry. I was trying to use my signet as echolocation, but, uh. Well."

"Not the best attempt," Garrick remarks as Bodhi plucks glass shards from your hair.

"No."

"Do us all a favor and go outside if you're going to try that again, would you?"

You can't identify the speaker, but nod all the same. "Yeah. Sorry."

You really should have known better than to try it in here — when you'd been a first-year, you had shattered many a window before you learned how to properly control your signet, so you know very well how destructive it can be. But the temptation to try and use it to navigate through this labyrinth of a house was just too big. Well — at least you didn't destroy anyone's eardrums.

Bodhi takes your hand and leads you around the glass shards and outside.

"Was that window very big?" you ask once you're in the courtyard, guilt nagging at you.

"No, don't worry about it. How about we walk up to the valley?" he suggests. "I bet Fonn would be happy to see you, and you can try the echolocation on the way up without destroying anything."

"Yeah. That'd be nice."

The uneven terrain out here is harder to navigate than the halls of Riorson House, but Bodhi is there to catch you should you stumble, so you aren't too worried. At a safe distance from the fortress, you reach for your power again, making sure to aim the sound waves away from Bodhi so you don't accidentally hurt him.

This time, you use a lower frequency, but still above the spectrum of what humans can hear. You feel the sound waves travel through the air, until, somewhere to your right, they reflect off of something, returning to you as an unhearable echo.

So far so good.

But how do you make sense of what the echos tell you? The only thing you're sure of is that whatever it was that your sound waves bounced off of is pretty big. Other than that, it could be just about anything. A boulder? A house? The mountainside? A dragon, maybe? No. You can't tell how far away exactly the object is, but it seems pretty close. Bodhi would have warned you if you were that close to someone else's dragon, and Fonn is quite a way further up the mountain.

"What's to the right of us?" you ask Bodhi.

"Some boulders and undergrowth," he answers.

Okay, so your first guess was pretty close. But guessing isn't going to be good enough. If this echolocation is supposed to be any use, you need to find a way to make it more precise.

"But it is working," Fonn's smug voice sounds in your head.

"Yeah, yeah. You were right. As usual."

"Try again."

You do, this time aiming the ultrasound waves at the ground before you. The echo gives you a vague impression that the path slopes upward relatively steep a little further ahead, but that's it. The picture you can create in your mind based on the data your sound waves give you isn't nearly detailed enough to make out bumps in the ground or other obstacles, and therefore pretty much useless.

"Don't be so pessimistic," Fonn scolds. "You can't expect to be perfect at this on the first attempt. You will figure it out. Now try again."

Again and again you send out sound waves as you climb the path. It gets easier to make sense of the echos the more you do it, your senses attuning to the new way of receiving information, but the problem remains; you just can't get enough details for it to be truly helpful.

You've reached the valley now, and you can feel Fonn close by. Tapping into the power flowing between you, you send another echolocation call in her direction, and find that there are two big shapes looming in front of you. It's not hard to guess who Fonn's companion is; she and Cuir have grown pretty close with how much time they spend together thanks to you and Bodhi. You do it again, trying to memorize how the echo reflecting off a dragon feels. Fonn lowers her head toward you, and you marvel at how much the echo changes at the movement. With enough practice, you could probably detect even the smallest of movements. But determinating the precise distance between you and the dragons — between you and anything — seems to be a lot more tricky. Maybe you can learn to judge it by the time delay between the moment you emit your call, and the moment the echo returns. Or maybe you just haven't found the right sound frequency yet. You sigh, knowing you'll have no other choice but to simply keep trying until you figure it out.

Warm air hits you as Fonn invades your space, and you lean your forehead against her snout. With a pang of sadness you realize you will never get to look at her again, to admire the beautiful shimmer of her green scales in the sunlight or watch her wings flex. Part of you still doesn't want to accept that you will never see again. It feels wrong that there's absolutely nothing to be done about it. But if even mending didn't work, then nothing will; the logical part of you understands that.

"This sucks."

"Yes."

"What, no 'look at the bright side' or 'it could be worse'?"

Fonn huffs. "I may be optimistic, but that doesn't mean I'll pretend everything is fine. Your feelings are perfectly valid."

After three days at Aretia, Violet finally wakes up, much to everyone's relief. It's no surprise when she agrees to fight with the revolution, so now the only question is what the nine of you that remain of the squad that flew for Athebyne will do now. With Violet awake, Xaden is taking responsibility again, which in this moment means he's arguing with the Assembly about whether or not your group should return to Basgiath, while Bodhi, Imogen and you are eavesdropping in the doorway.

Ironically it's you who's keeping lookout with the help of your signet, and really, you detect someone approaching even before their footsteps are audible. You're not skilled enough to get any details yet, though, so you poke Imogen's arm and gesture in the direction of whoever it is.

"It's Violet," she whispers, and waves her over.

Violet's shoulder brushes yours as she comes to stand between you and Imogen, who gives her a quick explanation about the Assembly.

"They're talking about us," Violet realizes after a while.

You nod. "That's why we're listening from the hallway."

"My life is equal to any of theirs," Xaden says inside the meeting room, and you hear rustling of clothes like people have turned to look somewhere.

"Is he pointing at us? He is, isn't he?"

"Yes," Bodhi whispers back as the Assembly starts to panic about Violet having heard their conversation. Louder he says, "If you didn't want her to hear you should have closed the door."

"She cannot be trusted!" one of the Assembly members yells.

"Xaden has already taken responsibility for her," you counter, gripping Bodhi's hand so he can guide you as you all step into the room. That doesn't seem to matter much to the Assembly, though, because the yelling continues back and forth until Violet has had enough of it and speaks up for herself.

Xaden has the last word, of course, telling the Assembly it's not up to them whether you all return to Basgiath and declaring the discussion as done. The four of you file out of the room and make your way up to the valley, where you wait for Violet, who stays back to talk to her brother.

It isn't very long until they show up, and the group gathers near her dragons.

"We have to go back," Violet says, which is exactly what you think too. "No matter what the Assembly says, if we don't go back, they'll kill every cadet with a rebellion relic."

Her brother disagrees, saying you'll all be executed if you go back, and a new argument ensues.

"I vote we go," Garrick says eventually. "We have to risk it. They'll kill the others if we don't return, and we can't cut off the flow of weapons from Basgiath. Who agrees?"

You raise your hand, and feel Bodhi do the same next to you.

While Brennan and Xaden continue to argue about Violet being unable to shut Aetos out, Ciaran says, "Y/N should stay here."

You whirl around and glare at him. Putting together the direction his voice came from with what you perceive through your signet, you can pinpoint his location exactly enough to do so. "No."

"You can't see—"

"Well aware."

"—so you can't fly back with us."

"I don't need to see to ride. Fonn sees enough for the both of us."

It's uncomfortably silent for a moment, but then Garrick carefully asks, "And how do you want to mount her when you can't see her?"

"Like this," you say, and walk straight toward her, following the bond between you.

Using your signet to orientate yourself, you easily find her foreleg. You're still working out how to fine-tune your echolocation to get a more detailed picture, but even as it is, something the size of a dragon is hard to miss. Climbing up her leg is the easiest part — you've done it so many times you could do it in your sleep, blind or not. Reaching her shoulder, you hear the others murmuring among themselves below you, worried you'll stumble or slide off on the way to your seat. But Fonn stands still as a statue, and you get there without trouble.

"See?" you call down to your friends. "Easy. And it's not like I have to do anything other than keep my seat once we're in the air."

"Okay, but can you dismount without falling on your ass?"

You sigh at the lack of faith they all have in you. You've been a rider for the last two years — by now, everything is muscle memory. Jumping from Fonn's shoulder and landing on your feet is as easy as rising from a chair, especially since she would have warned you if there were any obstacles on the ground you needed to avoid.

"Okay, fine. So you can ride, but what are you going to do when we're back at Basgiath?" Eya questions. "Provided they don't kill us, how do you want to take notes in class? And what about challenges? I know you're a good fighter, but if you can't see your opponent..."

"I'll figure it out somehow. The echolocation will help. I still need some practice until I can fully rely on it, but I'll manage." You refuse to stay behind and hide here while the others risk their lives by returning to Basgiath. Wounded or not, it's your right and duty to do the same.

"And I'll help her," Bodhi chimes in. He steps closer, taking your hand. "She can do it."

"If everyone is sure about going, we'll fly as soon as Andarna's awake," Xaden says, putting an end to the discussion.

"We're sure," Garrick answers for all of you.

There's a rustling somewhere off to the side, and Violet talks to her dragon. The smaller one — which isn't quite so small anymore from what you heard — must have woken up. Then more rustling, followed by a sort of stomping sound. You sense movement with your signet, but can't figure out what it is.

"What's going on?"

"The young one is awake," Fonn explains.

"And?"

"And she's... clumsy."

"I... uh... think we're going to have to make some modifications on that harness," Bodhi says beside you. "That's going to take a few hours."

"Get the harness done quickly," Xaden says. "I have a plan, but we have to be back in forty-eight hours for this to work, and a day of that is needed for flight time."

"What's in forty-eight hours?" Violet asks.

"Graduation."

[callsign-rogueone]

fractured - b.d.

Bodhi Durran x reader You break your arm, but Nolon isn't available to mend it. Bodhi takes care of you in the meantime. [request] words: 1.1k 🏷: no book spoilers. she/her reader in an established relationship with Bodhi. mentions of injury (broken arm) but no blood and no description of how it happened. just some fluff of Bo taking care of you.

Bodhi is out of his seat as soon as he sees you exit the exam room, looking a little worse for wear -- your arm is in a sling, the bridge of your nose split, and you’re walking slowly, like your legs are sore.

“There you are,” he breathes. “Xaden said you were here, but nobody would tell me anything. What happened?”

“I fractured my arm in two places,” you explain, “But Nolon is busy, so until he’s done with whatever else he has going on, I have to heal the old fashioned way.”

You leave out the details of how it happened, and hope that he won’t ask. He doesn’t -- he just takes your bag from your ‘good arm’, slinging it over his shoulder before you can protest and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

You give him a pained smile, letting him lead you back across the bridge to the rider’s quadrant, where everyone is sat down for dinner, in the middle of a spirited conversation. You slip into your normal seat, thankful that nobody seems to notice your condition or make a scene -- until they do.

“What’s with the sling?” Imogen asks, raising an eyebrow.

Every head at the table turns toward you. Great.

“Nolon was unavailable,” you answer in a tone that does not invite any more questions -- that seems to be good enough for them, but you still get a few worried glances and pitying looks from your friends in response.

You poke at your food, attempting to cut it with the side of your fork and failing -- it isn’t sharp enough. You set the utensil down, giving up; you aren’t that hungry, anyway, not after the painkiller the healers had given you, which isn’t doing anything except make you nauseous. You really hope that Nolon will be back tomorrow, because living like this is going to suck.

Bodhi notices your dilemma and slides your plate toward him, wordlessly taking your knife and fork and cutting everything into bite-sized pieces for you before he gives it back.

You thank him quietly, managing to eat half of it -- better than nothing, you suppose. Maybe you’ll feel better at breakfast.

He’s sitting on your right, your uninjured side, and he keeps you close to him all through dinner, tucked into his side.

When everyone is finished, he picks up your bag again, carrying it upstairs to your room, right across from his, following you inside and setting the bag on your desk chair. “Do you want help changing clothes? I promise I’m not just asking because I want to see you naked.”

You don’t laugh at the joke, kicking your boots off roughly, not caring where they land. 

“I’ll be fine,” you answer, turning your back on him. You’re sick of this, of feeling like a child, of being coddled and given those concerned looks all through dinner, like you can’t handle yourself -- like you haven’t had worse injuries, like you hadn’t run the gauntlet and bonded a dragon and literally everything else this terrible school asks of its students.

You try to tug your shirt off, hissing in pain at the movement of your arm. Hot tears start to flow down your cheeks as you continue to struggle, the fabric getting stuck on the thick wooden splint the healers had put around your forearm as a temporary fix.

“Hey,” Bodhi coaxes, “let me do it.”

You sigh, admitting defeat and taking a few steps toward him, allowing him to help get your good arm out of the other sleeve first, and gently untangle the shirt from the splint, tossing it into your laundry hamper with practiced ease.

He wipes away your tears with a gentle brush of his thumb, cradling your cheek in his hand. The familiar softness of his touch relaxes you near-instantly.

“I know this is frustrating for you, and I know you’re a badass independent woman dragon rider, who can take care of herself, and that’s one of the things I love most about you, but it would be easier -- and it would make me feel better -- if you let me help you. I love you, and I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“Thank you,” you say quietly. “Love you too.”

You stay like that for a moment, leaning into his hand and closing your eyes -- you’re exhausted.

“We’ll go by the healers before breakfast and see if Nolon is back,” he promises, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But until then, I’m gonna be here to help you, okay?”

You make a soft sound of acknowledgement, working up the courage. “Stay the night?” you ask softly. 

“Gladly,” he answers. “I’ll even bring extra pillows.”

There’s a moment of soft, comfortable silence that you want to linger in forever -- you really don’t feel like trying to shower with this thing on, or to lay down in bed; even with Bodhi by your side, it’s going to be uncomfortable, especially with how much you usually toss and turn during the night.

“I never asked you how this happened,” he realizes.

You stiffen, silent.

He looks at you with a seriousness you hardly ever see, deep concern with anger simmering underneath. “I need you to tell me who did this to you.”

You shake your head. “Nobody hurt me.”

He doesn’t look like he believes you -- you could very well be lying, because you don’t want him to go off and beat someone up just because they bested you in a challenge, but there weren’t any challenge fights today; they’re over for the rest of the school year. Had someone gone out of their way to injure you, to make an attempt on your life? 

“My love, I’m serious. If someone tried to-”

“I tripped over my own shoelace and fell down the flight of stairs by Kaori’s classroom,” you interrupt quietly. “Half a dozen first-years saw the whole thing.”

He knows you well enough to know that you’re telling the truth, that what he’s seeing is genuine embarrassment -- the shyness in your voice and the warmth of your cheeks give it away.

He laughs in relief, and at how deeply unserious this whole situation is. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.”

“It’s okay,” you say, shaking your head with a slight smile. “It’s pretty funny.”

It’s hilarious. You’d completed your first year largely unscathed, sustaining no major injuries, but an untied shoelace had nearly done you in.

“That’s it,” he declares, “I’m tying your shoes for you every morning from now on.”

You laugh, wincing when the motion jostles your arm and sends a jolt of pain through you.

“Oh, honey,” he soothes. “C’mere.”

You settle into his arms, leaning against him as he embraces you, careful not to touch your splint.

“I love you,” he whispers, nudging his nose against yours.

“I love you too,” you reply. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always, my love. Always.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Heyyy if you still take requests:

I would like to request a Brennan Sorrengail x reader reunion where she finds out that he‘s still alive and it‘s all angsty.

It’s sad…

How to bring you back?

Nothing can prepare you for losing the people you love. Even if you repeatedly tell yourself that it will come. Even if there are signs. An early warning of the doomsday coming. When it does hit, it feels equally as earth-shattering. But then some people have no right stepping over to the other side. No right to exhale the last breath. Too soon. Too fast. Too late. They go, ripping your heart out of your chest. Pulling it with them down into the grave. While you’re forced to move on. Go day by day. Feeling your heart rot six feet under with no hope of ever getting it back. Of feeling whole again.

“Here you are”, a voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “Been looking all over for you”, Bodhi’s bright eyes met yours as he and Imogen climbed up the hill, joining you in the green field. “Xaden said that you just left”, Imogen pressed her hand onto your shoulder, a silent question in her eyes. One that you knew there was no way of denying. “It’s his birthday… tomorrow”, the lump dubbed in size making it hard to breathe for a moment. “Here”, Bodhi shoved a paper-wrapped bottle into your hands. You frowned at him slightly so he quickly added, “I stole a bottle and before you say anything i don’t regret it”. You shook your head, this kid was reckless, to say the least. “As a wing leader i do not approve”, you pointed a warning finger but still unscrewed the cap.

“Good thing we are family then”, he winked at you before plopping down by your side and while the field soothed you before now with your friend next to you a pain-laced memory slipped past your walls.

��Why are you looking at me like that”, you shoved at Brennan's shoulder. The evening was warm the fields in full bloom. “Like what”, he smirked, eyes never leaving you. “Just like that”, you waved your hand in front of him, “your eyes are sparkling like crazy”. He let out a low chuckle, hands reaching out to pull you even closer to him. “It’s cause I'm looking at the most beautiful girl on earth”, he mused and you instantly rolled your eyes, “You’re a shameless flirt”. Yet your fingers moved to twist his curls over your finger. Watching the mess of them on top of his hair. Thar careless side of him. That untamed side. He turned his head slightly, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”, he muttered, reaching out to cup your cheek. “Careful or I will start assuming that we’re the endgame”, you pointed out but Brennan simply tacked you to the ground, eager kisses finding you in the sea of affection as he muttered “mine”, over and over again.

“Can you leave your second in charge tonight?”, you blinked, slightly taken back, only to see Xaden standing in front of you. “Why?”, there was no need for that usual unless something really serious was happening. “Do you trust me?”, he threw that question so casually making you shake your head, “No, not when you go all mysterious shadow hunter on me”. The male rolled his eyes before shooting you another serious glance, “I want to… Need to take you somewhere”, he stated. “Xaden”, you hissed, not at all loving this mysterious side of him. “Trust me on this one”, he clapped your shoulder, “I’ll explain once we’ll get there”. And even with your gut telling you this was a bad idea, you still nodded your head.

“What is this place?”, the dark corridors you walked through were unfamiliar. You two had left your dragons in the field by the big slightly abandoned-looking building. “My home”, Xaden stated, leaning against a wooden fence. You turned at him, gaping, “Riorson house? Xaden…” This place was supposed to have been run over. Burnt at best. That was what everyone believed in.

“Now it’s turning into something so much bigger. The rebellion is forming within these walls” as if reading your thoughts Xaden added. “What…”, you ran a frustrated hand through your hair. First, a building that was not supposed to be here? Now a rebellion? “You’ll understand soon”, Xaden muttered. “You can get fucking killed are you insane”, you hissed at him, fully turning to face him, “You’re leading a rebellion?”, and you prayed and hoped the answer to that would be a no. But he didn’t get to open his mouth before another voice sounded.

“He’s not but I am”, your body froze. Eyes burning into Xaden who now had a sympathetic look on his face. “No”, you breathed, because there was no way. You were imagining it. Yes. That’s what it was. “Y/n”, the sound of your name nearly made you topple over. Because no one ever made it sound so beautiful like… “No, no”, you pressed your hands to your ears. “My love”, and it’s barely a mumble but his amber curls are right in front of you and it’s as if your whole world is tilting. Shifting. Changing.

“No no no”, you repeat over and over, backing up till you hit something solid. “Easy”, Xaden mutters, hands coming to support you by your elbows. “Take me back, get me out of here Xaden”, you don’t even recognize your voice anymore. You don’t recognize anything. It all seems to blur.

“Y/n”, warm and familiar fingers wrap around your hand and you screech, pulling back. “Yn i can explain it all”, Brennan mutters, eyes glassed over with tears. “Brennan, I think this is not a good idea…”, Xaden shakes his head. “Don’t call him that that’s not him. Not…”, you cry out, hands coming up to hold your head. “It is me dammit”, Brennan grunts in frustration, “look at me turn to me and take…”, he pleads. And it’s as if his words break something with you as you turn to him in frustration.

“I buried you, I watched you burn”, you hiss, showing him backward. “They took everything that belonged to you”, you sobbed, fist hitting his chest over and over again. “I’m so sorry, my love”, Brennan whispers, carefully reaching for you once again. “I grieved you, I….”, you hiccup, the pain so deep it feels as if someone was burning you from within too.

“Y/n…”, he pleas, running his fingers up and down your arms. “All this time”, you grunt, showing his hands away. “It wasn’t safe for anyone to know, I only told Xaden a couple of months ago”, Brennan stares, clearly getting fed up slightly. “Months?”, you chuckle bitterly, “Months! Why didn’t you tell me first?”, you demand, stepping forward once again. “Y/n”, Brennan shakes his head.

“I was a second thought”, your voice is barely a whisper. “You were never my second thought. You were the only thought. One I went to bed and woke to”, he leans it, fingers twirling between the ends of your hair. You shook your head, “And yet you let me die inside all this time. To starve. To wish it would have been me”, you say through gritted teeth.

Brennan opens his mouth but you lift your hand silencing him but he doesn’t seem to understand the power of distraction with you. “Baby”, he muses. “Fuck you”, you lash forward, “I hate you, i hate you”, you scream over and over again. “You asshole”, grunting your palm comes in contact with his cheek, “you killed me, I died on that field with you”. He doesn’t even move from your hits. Standing there like a statue. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me”, he practically begs. “Brennan, maybe you should step aside”, and it’s Xaden’s voice that wraps almost a blanket of comfort around you. “Xaden, I can’t”, you whimper, sinking to your knees. And while Brennan moves to get to you, Xaden gets there first. “It’s okay, we will go back. We will talk when everything settles, yeah?”, he gently brushes away the hair from your face. “He’s not here is he?”, you look up at him with almost hope. “He is. And I'm sorry that I kept it away from you”, genuine regret flashing in his eyes. “Y/n”, Brennan’s broken cry falls over you. “You’re dead to me…”, you cry, looking back at the person that shouldn’t be here, “I don’t know how to bring you back…”, your voice breaks. Sob slipped past his lips then. Right as Xaden lifted you carrying you out into the open field. Two souls crying into the depths of night.

[deramin2]

Laudna going through a spiral about whether Ashton is a bad person because he wanted the power of both shards and did something stupidly dangerous to do it vs. Laudna deliberately feeding Delilah by using Hunger of the Shadow on Bor'Dor and Willmaster Edmuda.

Absolutely love it. Girl please keep projecting your worst fears about yourself and destructive habits on your friends and get scared of them without ever stepping back and assessing your own actions, it is delicious.

Bonus points that Imogen and Laudna are the biggest enablers of each other and not at all inclined to check each other's negative behaviors. Imogen still has a healthy fear about her powers, though, especially right now.

Meanwhile Laudna is still convinced that Orym is fine and the stable one while no one questions how Orym got Hex or that he's willingly using Ludinus' Quintessence Array to drain Edmuda of her life force. A totally normal stable good guy thing to do. Definitely no nosedive here. Although Laudna is irritated at him for pressuring everyone to keep going and not back down, and that he got the Quintessence Array use and not her. (Because again, she is trying to feed her own need for power.)

Somehow Fearne is the only one who's beginning to think they all might be going too far and getting scared, but they're not really listening to her. She saw her potential to become Dark Fearne and actually reevaluated her life. (Even if she's still a chaos being.)

Bell's Hells are great because they're like NPCs who ended up as the B-Team who keeps happening to be in the right place at the right time to be in the middle of all these events leading to this cataclysmic events that are so much bigger than they are. It's FUN that it's happening faster than they can recon with it and they're getting more and more desperate to not go under in a way that is actually making them go under faster.

They're seeing it in each other but not in themselves. That's the tragedy. They're so desperate to win it doesn't matter at what cost anymore. They're all just competing to see who can sacrifice themselves for the cause first while dragging their enemies down with them. They're going to end up being the monsters someone else has to fight, even though they kept trying to do good and fight the darkness.

[conditionaljewel]

Laudna is just so full of love, and I think up until now, she just hasn't known where to put it. Ever since the Solstice, I think she's been realizing that, specifically since she was separated from Imogen. I just want to look at this for a second...

I've just been thinking about Laudna towering over Imogen as she's in her Form of Dread, protective of Imogen when she was injured, nearly dead, the ferocity and fearlessness with which she stared down Extovass. "Lets go, bitch." She was ready to do whatever it took to protect Imogen.

Then I go to think about how just days prior, Laudna was towering over Bor'Dor as she was in her Form of Dread, defensive of her friends as he cowered beneath her injured, nearly dead, with anger and confusion in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just can't stand having anyone else betray me." She was doing whatever it took to protect her friends.

One Form of Dread. Two different outcomes. Two different sides to Laudna.

Laudna, who was internally afraid she was a bad person, being kissed by Imogen. Laudna, who just listened to Imogen confess that she's afraid if the moon disappears, so will she. Laudna, who has been tortured and tormented for many years, "your friends will betray you," asking Imogen "do you trust me," as she runs and jumps off a roof with her.

Here she is, showing the girl who has shown her the most kindness and compassion in her entire existence, the highest kindness she can possibly show in this moment: her own body. Standing up to Extovass, just like she stood up to Bor'Dor, ready for a fight, ready to defend, not backing down.

Laudna is gonna save the world one of these days, and she's gonna do it out of love. It may not be grandiose, it may not be extravagant. It may not even be noticeable, but it will. Her love for her friends, her love for Imogen, is her biggest strength. Orym's seen it. I'm sure the others have too.

But now she's coming into it, and it's shown in her defense and shielding of Imogen. She was ready to go down with Imogen, knowing she was just as vulnerable, she was prepared to go down swinging. Thankfully, she didn't have to this time, but she showed that she was ready to then, and she'll do it again if she has to.

The idea of letting Imogen go without a fight? Pft, Over her dead body.

Imogen definitely fell first, but Laudna is falling harder. And it's that love she's falling into that is going to end up saving them somehow in the end.

[angstywaifu]

Options - Bodhi Durran x Reader

Prompt - They're looking. Kiss me. Now!

Warning: Spoilers for end of Fourth Wing.

Masterlist

Graduation Day. A celebration for all. For those graduating the college and accepting their postings. And for those of us moving up to the next year. It was an exciting time. And I was glad for the distraction after Athebyne. Athebyne where it had nearly all ended. Nearly gone wrong. Something Colonel Aetos had hoped for. Had almost bet on in fact. All day I had caught people staring at those of us who we’re meant to be dead. Wondering and whispering about what had happened.

Movement in front of me catches my eyes as two cadets from another wing sit in front of me. I vaguely knew them. They we’re in my year but that was about it. Due to me being one of the marked ones they usually kept their distance from me. Something about the way they looked at me had me on edge. One of them had a second drink in their hand they pushed towards me.

”Can I help you?” I ask them sarcastically. Hoping they get the hint I didn’t want to talk to them.

”Just thought you could use some company. Sitting here all by yourself. No one wants that on graduation night.” The one on the left says.

”Maybe some of us do want to be alone.” I snap back as they push the drink towards me again despite me already holding on in my hands.

”Graduation Day is a time to celebrate, let loose. Something we can help with.” The one on the right adds.

The way they both smile at me sends a chill up my mind. I had now regretted my choice to sit on my own. I could have easily joined some of the others, but most of my friend group were occupied or we’re saying goodbye to those who were leaving. Which is where Imogen and Bodhi had disappeared to. Gone to say goodbye to Garrick and Xaden who I had seen before coming down here.

”Well this Graduation Day I don’t particularly feel like celebrating. So if that’s your only goal, please go elsewhere.” I say before turning my attention to elsewhere in the room, my eyes catching Bodhi, Garrick and Xaden making their way into the room.

”Most of you made it back alive. Can’t have been that bad.” One of them adds.

I see red as I turn to face them. But I couldn’t snap at them the way I wanted to. I couldn’t reveal what we had actually dealt with. Actually faced. I had to reign it in.

”Regardless I do not feel like celebrating, especially not with you two.” I emphasise the last word with as much anger as I can. Please get the hint and leave me alone.

They smirk at me. “I don’t see any other options for you. All the other marked ones seem to already have their options for tonight.”

God these two made my skin crawl. Made me want to jump over the table and teach them the lesson I know I could easily do. I’d seen them fight. They weren’t bad, but I was better. I had Xaden and Garrick to thank for that.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I have options. So if you could move along.”

A lie. A blatant lie. I had no options. No one I could escape to and try use to get these two away from me. And these two creeps knew.

”Go on then, go get one of those options and we will leave you peacefully be.” One of them challenged.

I gulp as I scan the room. Hoping for anyone. Anything. Hell I would go over to Imogen and ask her to play along. We were both straight, but we would play the part if needed for the other to help get out of a situation quite like this. I had hoped she had snuck back in with Garrick, Xaden and Bodhi but she hadn’t. Bodhi. Bodhi could help. But it was different with him. We had a friendship, that quite honestly could go that way if we wanted. Hell we toed the line a little too much. But that’s all we were. Friends. Nothing more. But he would help. And it’s not like I had to kiss him or anything. Right? All I had to do was walk up, quickly explain the situation and hope those two would find someone else to go pester. Though part of me hoped they wouldn’t. I could do this. It was easy. That’s what I tried to tell myself as I stood up and walked over to Bodhi who was leaning against the wall with Garrick. Xaden now gone. Probably saying goodbye to Violet. Bodhi looks over at me as I rush over to him and Garrick. I know he can tell something is up by the way his brow furrows.

”You ok?” He asks as I stop in front of him.

”I need your help. I need you to pretend that you’re into me.” I tell him sternly.

Garrick does his best to hide his laugh with a cough. He mutters something that sounds oddly like “that won’t be hard” as Bodhi elbows him in the side.

”T-that’s an interesting thing t-to need help with.” Bodhi stutters back.

I sigh and nod my head towards the two boys who are staring at us very intently, obviously intrigued to see who out of Bodhi and Garrick was my option. Garrick was a gamble as he was dressed to leave. But he was known to sleep around when he was so inclined. He would have been the more believable target for this. Garrick would have easily played along, but would also give me shit about it later. But I had gone to Bodhi.

”Those two are pestering me and keep pushing that I need to celebrate tonight with them. And I do not. It’s the last thing I want. But they won’t go unless I can prove to them I have another option. Which I don’t, but I need someone to at least pretend.” I blurt out as I look behind me. My blood runs cold, they’ve now stood up and are looking at Bodhi and I, and are about to walk over. Shit., I barely think before the words leave my mouth. “They’re looking. Kiss me.”

”Ah….”

”NOW!”

Bodhi just looks at me shocked. Frozen in place. Shit. I step forward and cup his face between my hands as I pull him down into a kiss. I feel Bodhi go rigged as our lips touch. As my lips meet his, its like it ignites a fire in me. A fire I had never felt before. I wrap my hands around his neck in an effort to deepen the kiss as I step closer. As I lightly trace his lip with my tongue, something in Bodhi snaps. His hands that were frozen at his side come to grip my hips and pull me flush against him. His body relaxing as he eases into the kiss. A small groan rumbling through him as our tongues meet. A cough next to us has us breaking apart to a very amused Garrick smirking at us as he motions with his head. I turn my gaze to see they’ve stormed off to another table and a group of girls from another squad. I go to step back but Bodhi’s grip on my hips tighten as he holds me against him. I look back at him to see him staring at me with an intensity I’ve never seen before.

”Have fun you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Garrick teases before pushing off the wall, leaving us alone as he heads outside.

Bodhi continues to stare at me, as if he’s shocked and cant believe what has just happened. As if it was a dream. A dream he had been waiting to come true. Like he had been waiting for me to toe that line just a little more. To take that first step he was too scared to. But slowly a smile breaks out over his face.

”Would you object to not pretending to celebrate with me tonight?” He finally asks, in a way that almost reminds me of the confidence that Garrick and Xaden have.

”Not at all.” I tell him before giving him a quick kiss, grabbing his hand and leading him up to the third year rooms.