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mickgaydolenz · 2 years ago

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Okay so having finally watched Head with commentary (twice), I really wanted to just get down my thoughts and reactions because I am very normal about this movie and these people. I warn you this gets long and convoluted so feel free to ignore the shit out of this.

Overall (and I acknowledge that this could just be like PR or even editing of the commentary to make it appear as such) but they all seemed to be very complementary of each other, which warmed my heart immensely. Age really seems to have mellowed them all out, and even Davy seemed to be less biting than in a lot of interviews i’ve seen. I mean, Mike focuses waaaaay more on himself than anything, which is kind of hilarious, but he’s still very mellow.

I guess i’ll break it down by person??? Give some of the highlights???

Mike:

As we all know Mike had/has a bit of a crush on Jack Nicholson, and that is abundantly clear throughout. This dude is constantly talking about how smart and charismatic Jack was and how much he helped him as an actor, etc.

Mike on the surface is very hyper critical of himself in the movie, but I honestly read it more as him reflecting back on his inexperience??? So obviously as an adult Mike is far more educated in the whole production/acting/hollywood scene, so I think a lot of his commentary is just him being open about how little he really knew and how so much of his lack of knowledge left him very just confused by what he was supposed to be doing and what he could achieve as an actor.

Mike really fucking loved the can you dig it number/scene. He really, really, liked being around all those beautiful women. Probably the straightest thing i’ve ever heard in my life tbh.

Mike is very complimentary of Peter’s songs which is nice to hear. He actually says they are the best in the movie. I feel like no matter what differences they had, musically they did always respect each other.

And once again as we all know Mike really, desperately, wanted to do Daddy’s song. He sounds so genuinely disappointed that he didn’t get to do it, but he’s gracious in acknowledging that Davy did it very well.

Mike tells the story about how he was the one to call Victor Mature, which is always a good time.

Mike apparently had theatre experience????

Mike also talks about the assassination scene, and does a pretty good job of explaining desensitization. It did very much disturb him though.

Mike apparently wanted the movie to be even edgier than it was??? It seems like he really would have been happy if Head was a full blown horror movie. He talks about how Bob Rafelson had like a drawer of sharp objects they could have used in the movie, but Bob didn’t/wouldn’t fully commit to it.

Oh! Also a surprising note was how well versed Mike was about performance art?? I was very surprised to hear him talk about art in general to be frank??? Like for how little Mike professes to have known about film at that age, he sure seemed to know a lot about art and that just feels backwards to me???

Davy:

He’s pretty chill for most of the commentary honestly. Just seems to be having a good time.

Davy referring to Ditty Diego as white rap sends me.

Davy loves the clip of the woman dancing in the Victor Mature channel surfing scene.

Davy is very complimentary of Micky, which always warms my heart. Davy is actually pretty damn cordial about all the Monkees.

Davy is like hilariously blasé about the whole can you dig it scene.

He talks about his dog Sue -actually it’s really cute because that whole scene with him fake playing the violin he just keeps commenting about how his dog is going to appear.

Davy does a scottish accent???

He said working with Toni Basil was also very easy, although he wishes he hadn’t worn lifts in that scene.

He does mention having kept that big wool sweater, and he also mentions that apparently Michael Jackson bought the green mandarin collar shirt he wears in a movie memorabilia auction?????

He mentions that Bob Rafelson was apparently inspired by a lot of midnight movies, which he would watch regularly.

Oh! Davy was also one of the few that was onboard with making a very Monkees formula movie. He actually thought initially that that was what they were going to do, make a very zany, lighthearted, 90 minute episode.

Davy talks about how Micky could fall asleep anywhere. Apparently during the second black box scene Micky fell asleep. Davy says it used to make him so angry because Micky would do it at restaurants too ahahaha.

Overall Davy just seemed the most complacent with the choices, like he was fine doing whatever was expected of him and didn’t feel particularly strongly either way. Although, that being said, he does seem to have felt like he would have been fine keeping things status quo more so than anything else.

Davy points out in the sauna scene with Peter (which was the first to be filmed) that Peter apparently had like an abscess??? And that’s why in some shots his face looks all swollen.

Davy at the end very cutely sums up how each member of the monkees eventually ended up right where they were supposed to be irl :’).

Peter:

Peter is so Peter in the commentary and I love it. I haven’t watched a lot of Peter interviews, so i’m not overtly familiar with his overall thoughts and opinions, but from what I have seen this is pretty par for the course.

Peter thought apparently he had an in because of Stephen Stills recommending him go audition, but he says he got there and had to go through the cattle call process anyways.

Peter near the end of the movie says that he’d probably seen Head about 100 times, and I can honestly believe it. He quotes dialogue throughout or talks about upcoming scenes before they happen, so he is genuinely very familiar with the content.

Peter ALSO really loved the can you dig it number/scene. Both musically and for all the beautiful women. It was really funny to listen to him talk about music theory and then casually transition to talking about wanting to make it with all of these women but also finding them intimidating. Another very straight™ moment.

He really loves the Micky desert scene, he thinks the scene in general is great and Micky is great in it.

Peter also mentions how he felt Davy was probably the most dedicated actor of all of them. I had seen that floating around, but having actually listened to it and getting the context what Peter is getting at is that he felt Davy was always the most committed to acting in the Monkees and always took it seriously no matter what else was going on. He also thinks Davy did a great job in the boxing scene.

Peter also says his look in the montage in Alaska is an homage to Stephen Stills. Originally he had his big bushy beard, since it was shot in post production, but Bob Rafelson wouldn’t let him keep the beard for the scene. His compromise was to keep his sideburns really long which was apparently how Stephen Stills was styling himself at the time.

Peter also brings up the story of Davy crashing through the security gate!!!

Peter does mention how during the Monkees it was very PeterDavy and MickyMike, and I know some people hear this and are confused by that since Micky tends to bring up his bond with Davy over being child actors, but let me get into it. (as in I will add this rant at the very end so it doesn’t clog this up)

Peter also gets very deep (perhaps fake deep, I might be missing out on social cues/context for this but it sounded very sincere to me) when talking about the factory scene, kind of exploring the fact that Davy is the only one who can see what’s going on, how he’s the only one aware that everything isn’t what it seems. Peter says he thinks Bob must have seen something in Davy -something Peter wasn’t aware of himself- that indicated to him that Davy was better able to tell what was really going on.

Oh!! Peter also mentioned how in the war scene Bob Rafelson really did try to push to have Peter in military garb appear on the cover of Life magazine, which they obviously turned down, and Bob apparently tried to tell them to just do it anyways?? Needless to say you can tell that Peter really has no love lost for Bob and what he implies to be his bullying ways.

Micky:

Okay full disclosure i’m so biased here because she’s my girl, my baby, the love of my life, etc. but by god Micky sure doesn’t disappoint in rolling out the tried and true stories. We get the circus boy story, we get the “one does not go to a cattle call when one has had a series” story, the good old dusties he recycles ad nauseum!!!

Micky seems to remember A LOT. Like i’m not sure how much is just things told back to him that he’s filed away, or genuinely remembering the experience in such detail, either way he talks a great deal about shooting locations and the set.

Micky claims to still have his script from the screen test in which the show was still called The Monkeys with the Y.

Micky says Peter was really getting tackled full force during the war scene.

He also tells a story about how a girl approached him after the movie came out -at a car wash of all places- and accused Head of glorifying war??? Micky was very confused ahaha.

Micky laughing at Mike’s delivery in the war scene will never not get me, and then when he gushes about Circle Sky it makes me want to cry. Him low key high key defending Nez and saying everyone copied him musically in later years :’’’)

Micky talks about how, in can you dig it, one of the dancers went on to open a very successful nightclub. Beyond that he, much like Davy, is super blasé about the dancers. He is far more focused on the editing techniques used in the scene ahaha.

Micky is also very complimentary of Peter’s songs.

Micky makes a point of letting us know there was nothing in the hookah, which I think clashes with some other accounts?????? but he’s very firm on this.

Micky also really likes the Ditty Diego scene a lot.

Micky was really concerned about doing the desert scene justice, and says that Bob helped him a lot with getting it just right. He is proud of how his acting turned out :).

Micky apparently had a childhood crush on Annette Funicello when she was part of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and he fucking told her that on set.

Micky says Frank Zappa invited him to be a drummer for the mothers of invention but Micky’s record company couldn’t/wouldn’t let him out of his contract to do it.

Micky talks about experimenting with esp??? In a scientific way of course.

Micky overall is just so grateful for the whole experience and it makes me :'''''''''''''''''''')

Okay so my unhinged MickyMike/PeterDavy addition that everyone is probably already aware of but I need to give my two cents. So Micky does bring up his bond with Davy over being child actors etc in the commentary, but he very much frames it as it being an initial bond they had during the screen tests. Micky explains that their chemistry was apparent early on during the audition process which is why they ended up being paired together in the screen tests a lot. And that is reflected in the footage available of the screen tests where Davy and Micky overlap a lot during the stages. In fact, ironically, it’s only Mike and Micky who don’t seem (or we don’t have footage of) to ever test together. All of that is to say that I believe Micky when he speaks about this is just reiterating that Davy and him clicked very quickly and were paired together as a result of that. But as for Peter dividing their dynamic into PeterDavy and MickyMike, I feel like that is VERY accurate to what it was like during the show and even musically. There are so many anecdotes i’ve read casually mentioning Mike and Micky working on harmonies together, or Mike calling Micky into the studio to record, etc. On top of that Mike and Micky have both expressed early on that they really clicked improvisationally, and as a result they both kind of looked to each other for improv and acting cues -a dynamic that is very obviously explored/favoured in the show. You can even see in the early head script that Mike and Micky have direction to interact specifically with each other. Not to mention Mike and Micky both speaking about the Mike and Micky show, which was a thing at the very early stages of the show. I think in later years Micky and Davy became closer because of how the Monkees ended, but I think Peter’s take on their dynamics is very, very accurate for that time.

#way too long. and way too annoying. i am so sorry #but i need this for my personal records. so i can always look back. and remind myself of how unhinged i am #personal #the monkees #head (1968)

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penn-dragon · 4 years ago

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Love Spell

Context: I had a dream that Peter had to fight some villain that was using music to like affect people’s minds to make them happy and complacent. Somewhat inspired by the love spell scene from Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

The music was loud and powerful enough that the base thrummed through Peter’s body, buzzing in his chest and sending a warm feeling all the way to the tips of his fingers. This room was just as crowded as the last, packed wall to wall with people talking, laughing, dancing, kissing. Peter slipped through the crowd as quickly as he could weaving in between bodies and keeping his eyes glued to the sticky floor. Harry was in here somewhere, and Peter couldn’t stand the thought of seeing him right now, eyes glazed, smiling drunkenly, maybe dancing with some guy— Peter cut the thought off right there as an ugly jealous feeling bubbled up in his chest.

Someone bumped into him, jostling him forward and he had to look up to catch himself and his heart caught in his throat.

Harry. Harry was just in front of him, through the crowd. He wasn’t dancing, he wasn’t smiling, he was leaning against the back wall alone, hands in his pockets, looking relatively frustrated for some reason. An immense flood of relief washed through him, carrying with it a sick guilt at the possessiveness he felt over his best friend. He wanted to go over, there was a pull in his chest like someone reaching inside him and yanking, but he knew the closer he got to Harry the harder it would be to pull himself away. He needed to find the exit, so he forced himself to turn away and cut diagonally through the crowd, ducking his head in hopes Harry wouldn’t notice him. Luck was not on his side, however, as he’d barely gotten a few feet away when Harry’s voice pierced through the noise.

“Pete!”

Peter had never felt his heart leap and sink at the same time. A hand wrapped lightly around his wrist bringing him to a stop as he tried to think through the flurry of emotions brought on just from hearing Harry’s voice. He turned a little and there was Harry, smiling at him like he’d just heard the best news of his life, an excited flush dusting his face, a far cry different from the aggravation he’d worn a moment ago. “I’ve been looking for you!”

It was the music, Peter knew it was the music, but his heart squeezed painfully tight. He knew he needed to leave, needed to get out of here, but every cell in his body felt like it might die if he turned away from that smile right now.

“W… What for?” He asked, just loud enough to be heard over the music and chatter all around them. Harry released his wrist, wrapping both hands around Peter’s biceps to turn him around completely and hold him at arm's length.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” he said, and he looked so excited, energized, like when he worked his way through a complex equation, or made a breakthrough on a tough project. Except he was the equation, he was the project, and having that pleased expression aimed at him did funny things to Peter’s stomach. He swallowed hard, trying everything to fight the hum of the music and the magnetic pull of Harry’s smile.

“Harry… not— not now. Whatever it is— you shouldn’t—”

“I’m in love with you,” Harry cut him off, and Peter had never felt such a jolt of happiness while simultaneously feeling like he might be sick. Harry’s smile melted into something softer, and the affection in his gaze threatened to drown Peter.

“No, you’re—” Peter took Harry’s hands, drawing them away from his arms. They were soft and warm, and Harry’s skin against his sent sparks skittering up his arms. “You’re not… It’s just this place... the music…”

Harry’s smile turned confused, tilting his head like Peter had just said something unbelievable.

“Of course, I am. Pete, I’ve been in love with you for a long time—too long—I just never had the courage to say it.” Harry curled his hands around Peter’s, pulling them closer and reeling Peter in as the crowd closed in around them. “But, you feel the same way about me, right?”

“I—” The music swelled, and the crowd moved with it, pushing them closer together as free space dwindled. Peter’s heart beat loudly in his ears, and he felt like he might cry. It was getting harder to tell which emotions were real and which were fake, or if any of them had ever been fake in the first place. “I—”

Harry’s eyelashes dipped as he swayed in closer. One of his hands left Peter’s to reach up and cup his face. Peter knew what was coming and he knew he had to stop it, even if every cell in his body was screaming at him to let it happen, even though he wasn’t sure anymore why he was fighting it. He lifted his free hand, laying it against Harry’s chest to halt his movement.

“Harry, wait…” Harry did stop, tilting his head to rest their foreheads together. His eyes flickered over Peter’s face as he waited for an answer, for permission or rejection. And Peter knew he needed to go, knew there was something he should be doing, but Harry was gazing at him with an infectious sort of longing. Peter knew he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t.

He kissed Harry anyway.

Something clicked into place as Harry’s lips slid perfectly against his, like a piece of a puzzle that had been lost behind the couch for years. Finally he could see the full picture and he knew he was where he needed to be. He wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, drinking in the sensation as Harry tilted his head to slot their lips together more firmly. The music pulsed, the crowd moved, and Harry kissed him like there was nothing he’d rather be doing. And Peter couldn’t think about anything else.

#parksborn #msm 2017 #msm #marvels spider-man 2017 #penn writes

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bangtanblurbs · 4 years ago

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young forever

song: young forever by BTS

first experience: strangely enough i have a very visceral memory of when forever young dropped. it was during finals week of my final year in undergrad. the song released on a sunday in the wee hours (or perhaps a monday? - days tend to run together during finals week). i didn’t have many assignments due that year since my course load was light and i was really just coasting into grad school the year afterwards (at the same institution i attend for undergrad). i remember logging onto youtube and catching the video as it premiered. i was stunned. HYYH pt. 1 and HYYH pt. 2 were heavenly to me, so of course young forever was greatly anticipated for me - the aesthetics, continuation of the story, and also simply getting new bangtan music. the cotton candy color pallet loaded onto my phone screen, and RM’s beautiful voice can through my earphones... i was immediately in love.

every member looked completely stunning. the message i got from the video was... incredibly powerful. the maze. the lyrics. all of it resonated with me, a young woman -- 22 years old -- soon to turn another corner in life. i sat in my dorm room preparing for a busy week, as i was the RA in my dormitory and needed to help my students move out that week... as i prepared for my graduation and transition into my next step in life... i was also shipping out to macau, china for the summer in a few weeks so i geared up for that. this video dropping was almost a breath of fresh air from everything going on. i was able to really sit and enjoy it, but also reflect on my past, present, and the future to come.

feelings: well, i have quite a lot. as someone who has been chronically obsessed with the story of peter pan since age seven, i’d say that youth is something i value - perhaps a bit too much. what’s interesting though is young forever isn’t necessarily about youth in the rawest sense... it’s also about dreams, reaching the point in your life where you’re happy, with yourself, your circumstances, ultimately your place in life. which i suppose most people equate that with youth, the innocence and naivety of it all. for me, thinking about forever young is kind of about that anxiety we carry as we get younger - have a made good use of my youth? did i squander it, getting caught up in the day to day or bogged down by my demons? the worry that our youth is our prime and when it’s gone, where do we go next? retire? it’s kind of funny thinking about this now as I’m 27 instead of 22. do i feel any older? no, not really - i feel the same. the same energy, the same zeal for life. do i look back on the days when i was younger and think that my youth is gone? no. for me - youth - it’s a state of mind. it’s an ethos, a way of proceeding forwards in my life. i didn’t always think this way - perhaps that was wrapped up in my anxiety about getting older. i used to lament my birthday each passing year - god turning 23 felt the absolute worst for some reason. it’s funny now though - how i almost feel younger, lighter, now than i did. youth should be a feeling of unburdened peace right? ideally it would seem so - but the reality in our world today... youth is pain. youth is struggling. youth is stumbling through the dark and trying to figure out who the hell you are, who the hell you want to be. i still feel like i’m stuck in that place, that place of wonder - of reaching out, exploring, experiencing... i feel as naïve as ever despite the pain that courses through some of my life.

so back to young forever - how does the song make me feel? it makes me feel at home. at peace. forever we can carry our youth, forever we can approach our lives with childish curiosity, with the energy to follow our dreams, with a dedication to our passion, and an and endless realization that change is the only constant in our lives. despite the ups and downs that might come with living with this mindset - i wouldn’t want to live any other way. what’s the point of continuing to grind hard every day in the cruel systems our society has built if we can’t at least say we did it with voracious appetite to experience fully our surroundings, emotions, and imaginations?

personal connection: it’s rather hard for me to nail down all of my personal connections to young forever. as i mentioned, i have a really strong connection to the story of peter pan. i’ll briefly explain why and how that plays in here - but i must warn you... if you’re uncomfortable with strangers oversharing on the internet, perhaps this isn’t the blog for you to read. i’m quite comfortable bearing my soul to people i don’t know. for some reason vulnerability has never been something i’ve struggled with - perhaps it’s the naivety i love about myself. anyways... here we go.

when i was 17 my best friend passed away from cancer. it was relatively quick. just a summer we spent together gossiping in a hospital room, machines beeping while we tried our very best just to giggle about boys and lament our torturous IB courses. i’d known her nearly my whole life. meeting in second grade - and bonding quickly over a love for the whimsy of peter pan’s story. we’d gush on the playground about flying away to neverland - where we could do whatever we wanted. explore, sing, fly. but she was gone then. gone far too soon. frozen in a youthful state in my mind. her passing is still the hardest thing i’ve ever been through in my life, and i’ve been through some scary shit. immediately when i hard young forever i thought about her. i thought about how she lived. she was fearless. the bravest and strongest person i ever knew, and still to this day, have ever known. knowing her - experiencing her soul - it changed me. once she passed away i had to be strong, my classmates looked to me as their rock, my parents forbid me to cry, everyone pushed me into adulthood way too quickly. i was just a seventeen year old girl. i was having a crisis - i wanted nothing more than to speak to my best friend as i navigated choosing my next steps after high school. but she wasn’t there, and i wasn’t allowed to feel. i was terrified. my youth was gone. nothing seemed fun anymore. youth became pain as i looked around at my peers who were back to normal in a matter of weeks. giggling with one another, moving along with life. i became a robot. quickly i threw myself into school work. i was already a high achieving student but i climbed higher. i worked harder. i had decided that for the life she couldn’t live, i would live it for her. i’d go to the best college i could, i’d do all the things i never dreamed i could. i’d do it for her. but i wasn’t living. i had let my youth go. i was fading away. just a shell.

it’s funny. or perhaps it’s not. young forever is a comfort song. a comfort song with some incredible darkness in it. the anxiety in namjoon’s verse, yoongi’s speaking to hiding feelings - pushing forward despite what he carries, hoseok’s verse about letting himself go and just giving what he has to keep pushing. their words - that’s how i felt. the song dropped around four years after my friend’s passing. i needed it before then. although perhaps it wouldn’t have “saved me” because music doesn’t save, music gives us the strength and comfort we need to save ourselves (i’m not a fan of taking way my own agency in MY story), it might have offered me a light in an increasingly blurry world.

a year prior to the song’s release i’d spent a summer in china. my life changed there. i lived with seven incredibly bright middle school girls. that experience, i never thought it would start to heal me the way it did. they were under immense pressure (the education system in china is total bullshit)... and they told me “caroline, youth is pain. it’s not beautiful. it’s a period where we struggle the most.” i’d never heard this. the typical western perspective is that youth is “the most beautiful part of life” - it’s where you fall in love, it’s where you get hurt and you pick yourself up, it’s where you find yourself, you feel invincible. but that’s just it - it’s also where you can get incredibly lost (like the maze in the video). not all of us experience youth without pain. this perspective helped me to heal. i wasn’t so alone - i wasn’t squandering my youth, sure - i was treading water - but that was okay. i could cry. i could feel. and so, at this point i began to write my own story again. rather than living for someone else, i decided to throw the book out the window, to pick myself and run like hell towards what i wanted. to accept the freefall of life. that’s youth. that’s the most beautiful part of life. the part where you free yourself from whatever chains society has on you. youth is only associated with being a child because that who should be the most free. when truly youth, youth is that period in your life when you learn to live for yourself, your dreams. dream, hope, keep going. don’t fucking stop.

so this brings us to 2016. i was weeks away from a new journey abroad when young forever dropped. i was doing better. life felt lighter. i still had a long way to go, but some things i’d gotten right. i gained confidence, i navigated my interpersonal relationships with more poise. etc etc. going to china the second time, it changed me more. i did things on my own i’d never dreamed of doing. crossing multiple national borders, making friends with people i couldn’t communicate with. i opened my heart to it all. and i fell in love with myself. for the first time. i fell in love with how completely i embraced my freedom and coupled it with my drive, my passions. that is what young forever is about. it’s about the struggle but the continued commitment to the state of mind that once you’re free - once you embraced that childlike state of being - you can achieve so much happiness.

which brings us to now - how do i connect to the song now? much in the same way that i did before. carrying these emotions connected to this song so deeply into adulthood has been incredibly touching. i’ve matured with bangtan. from 2015 to now. i’ve only grown in how i embrace my youth. sure, i have to conform at times, play the adult, but the motto “dream, hope, keep going.” that’s what i live by. nothing can change that for me now. i’m still fucking lost, but i’m running like hell. i have my setbacks, my demons, my challenges, but i’ve never been so fucking free. that’s young forever for me. thank you for reading my story.

song breakdown:

musically: something i truly love about young forever is that it’s really atypical in how it flows musically and the entire structure of the song. it’s creativity run wild - it’s a story and build. and i love that. it starts off slow, soft, with a sweet sadness. the highlight isn’t the backing track, it’s the honey rap voices. it’s absolutely perfect. understated and building. with each new voice that comes in the beat speeds up. it’s like running. which is fitting. because the story in the song is that of bangtan. the lyrics say it, the boys are worried - worried about how well they’ve done, when they’ll stop gaining success, concerned that all of this life will end, wondering who they are in this - the performance the journey. they are quite literally running towards their dreams. we see this in the song lyrically.

once the chorus comes, we need an increased speed in the beat and the song picks up with the chanting of the mantra. “forever, we are young.” us together, bangtan and ARMY. the song fades into the beautiful clapping beat, the refrains of dream, hope, keep going. musically the song is beautifully understated in a way that can only draw out the listeners’ emotions and highlight the charged encouraging lyrics. the story here is clear and only more illuminated by the musical choices.

vocally: young forever is such a treat. it’s a rap heavy song, but not in a way that takes away from the beautiful second half of the song which is full of beautiful vocal line refrains and ad libs. it’s a chant song. a comfort song. and perhaps that’s why it’s stuck with me for all these years as one of my ultimate favorite BTS songs.

when the song begins we are greet by namjoon’s beautiful low rap register. he delivers the rap melodically slow. you can appreciate the way his voice carries emotion and the tempo of the beginning story, of the emotional journey the song embarks upon. following namjoon’s beautiful voice is yoongi. who assumes a slower rap style initially. he has a few parts where he treats us to shout rapping as well - which give us kind of a pleading emotion - we can hear his lament for the pressure placed upon him as he stands in the spotlight. finally, rapline is rounded out by hoseok - i’m gonna say it - this is one of hoseok’s best slow verses. he offers his usual spicy tone, giving the trap style endings to each line. the emotion hits it’s peak with the punch tones and hoseok’s strong committment to his lines expressing his desires, his drive.

the second half of the song is dominated by the beautiful tones of vocal line. taehyung leads us into the chorus with his beautiful deep register, followed by jungkook’s high tones. the juxtaposition of their voices coupled by jin and backed by jimin’s beautiful melodies is absolutely stunning. rapline takes turns coming in with the refrain “dream, hope, keep going.” all of this mixed together is simply stunning. it’s like hope in vocal form. we have the low and the highs, the singing voices and the speaking refrains. most devastatingly is jimin’s forever ever ever - piercing the background of the song. highlighting the longing - the conviction - to youth - the spirit of it, the beauty of it. the chant portion of the song is also what makes this song so devastating to hear live. everyone comes in, blends together and makes the message resonate completely.

lyrically: here. we. go. a DEEP DIVE. i think firstly, it’s important to start with the fact that we have a song, young forever, that was released as the epilogue to two devastating HYYH albums. HYYH was the epitome of youth themed albums. it encapsulated everything we associate typically with youth. love songs, songs about pain, songs about healing, songs about not being enough, songs about our dreams, songs about being lonely... it’s all there. both the beauty of youth and the beautiful pain of youth dominate HYYH pt. 1 and HYYH pt. 2. then, those messages, those themes, were sealed with epilogue: young forever. why? well, my feeling is this is bangtan’s way of leaving us with the reality that youth isn’t something that’s fleeting. it’s not an age or state in time. it’s something we carry within. it’s how we approach the things we confront in our lives, how we live and move forward through adversity towards our passions and dreams.

now - with that out of the way it’s time to dissect some lyrics. there’s quite a lot here in the three rap verses so i truly hope to do them justice.

namjoon’s verse starts like a story, “the curtain falls” the end of a performance, often used as metaphor for the end of a certain point in one’s life. “the curtain falls and i’m out of breath / i get mixed feelings as i breathe out” clearly the chapter that’s closing for him has been an exhausting one, but he’s not sure about moving forward even though now he has the time to finally reflect and see what he wants next. to me, this speaks directly to where bangtan was at this point in their career. they’d been through the bullshit - the trainee days, the ridicule, the exclusion from the typical korean music system... they’d made it. I NEED U had one awards, RUN did as well, 2016 bangtan had begun to see the fruit of their labor pay off - but with that, what’s next. where do they climb next? what’s to come? there’s that feeling of unease for namjoon. “did I make any mistakes today? / how did the audience seem?” are the next lines, bringing in that sense of reflection. even though now he can breathe - he worries, what’s his impact, how do people feel about what he’s given them, did he have shortcomings? these thoughts flood in and set the mood for the next steps forward. these questions only become more as the pressure continues. the next and final three lines of namjoon’s verse group well together and offer us much more hope that the foreboding in the start of the verse: “i’m happy with who i’ve become / that i can make someone scream with joy / still excited from the performance.” the peace in these final lines, it’s kind of like the rest of the song - starting with the hardship, the unease, what must or has been overcome - mellowing out to realization that things will keep going on. namjoon is at peace with where is at the end of this chapter, he is glad he can stand on this stage bringing smiles to faces, and finally - the buzz of just being able to do music, that remains with him through all of the constant pressure. something about these lines, they’re beautiful.

just like that, yoongi’s verse begins. he provides the same metaphor to the listener. he is standing on an empty stage. the performance is over. the chapter is closing. HYYH is becoming the past for BTS. the struggles, will they be over too as they move forward with their progressing careers? “i stand on the empty stage while holding onto an aftertaste that will not linger for long” he begins - he knows that the high of this moment, the place they’ve reached in this time... it can’t be forever, the emotions of it all are beginning to fade into something else. he then moves on to offer some more insight into how he feels about that unknown of moving on: “while standing on this empty stage, i become afraid of this unpleasant emptiness.” this line seems telling to me - yoongi is someone that gets a lot from recognition, achievement, sharing his works with others. leaving the stage, moving away from this performance moment... it’s hard on him... he feels empty, his moment, his purpose - they’re over... at least for now. the anxiety seeps in. “within my suffocating feelings / on top of my life’s line” he starts to try and explain deeper his emotions, suffocation, a feeling of panic, likely anxiety or pressure induced. what’s next? will it demand more? he’s on top of his life’s line - he feels like he’s reaching his peak, not knowing where to go next, plateau? down? yoongi then lodges into almost a picture perfect description of what society can make us do in moments of pressure where we are feeling anxiety or panic - “without a reason, i forcibly act that i am fine / this isn’t the first time, i better get used to it” he’s going to put on a strong face, suppress how he really feels because at some point there could be another audience, he remains on the stage even if the curtains have closed. he forces himself to do so, and it’s a habitual thing for him. it sounds like truly this is habitual for yoongi - really needing to mask his fear, his panic, his anxiety for the sake of those watching. it tears me up, because it seems like he also knows that this will continue in his future. and the he realizes that keeping the mask on, it’s not something he’s able to do or perhaps interested in doing “i try to hide it, but i can’t.” the final lines of his verse leave us with some unease - they’re unclear - but perhaps they’re speaking to the fact that performing won’t be his forever... “when the heat of the show cools down / i leave the empty seats behind,” so at some point -- the excitement, the hype, it will be gone... those who want to see him, they’ll be gone too, and he’ll move on to what is next. or perhaps this could allude to the fact that the pressure of those watching goes away and he will finally feel comfortable? there’s a lot here. a lot left up and open.

and finally we round out rapline with hoseok’s verse - which leads us into the chorus and refrains. the first three lines of hoseok’s part go hand in hand with one another - they’re a natural progress of coping with one’s emotions and situation: “trying to comfort myself / i tell myself the world can’t be perfect / i start to let myself go.” the chapter is closing and hoseok is trying to tell himself, it’ll be okay. almost like listening to the song young forever - seeking comfort. a home. realizing that things aren’t always going to go his way, he can’t have this moment forever, and sometimes things are going to be ups and downs... the final line is perhaps the most startling, letting oneself go. realizing that there’s some pieces of yourself that are okay to let go, whatever is holding you back, keeping you stuck, sometimes we need to shed that to go forward with the youthful exploration that keeps life invigorating and exciting. or perhaps hoseok is thinking about the day in which he will let “j-hope” go and just be hoseok, without a stage in the traditional sense. “the thundering applause, i can’t own it forever” he moves on saying that this life won’t be his forever, at some point he will need to move on - realize that this moment is down, lose himself to it, and see what is next. yet - even with this knowledge hoseok continues “i tell myself, so shameless / raise your voice higher” it seems that there’s a conflict he’s facing - letting this moment go or screaming as loud as he can to hold onto it, and shamelessly so - letting go of all the constructed norms for how he should behave. perhaps, holding onto his YOUTH even as he grows older in age and should grow away from a youthful mentality. he is raising his voice and hopefully pushing forwards, perhaps just away from this stage and onto an even larger one. it seems this is the case “even if the attention isn’t forever, i’ll keep singing” he states. he will hold onto his passion, keep moving forwards with his music, his voice, his connection to whatever it is that wants to be connected to him - because this is his very soul and being. finally - hoseok closes out his verse “as today’s me, i want eternity / forever, i want to be young.” it seems that hoseok is choosing to be who he is at this moment, his youthful self, as long as he goes on. he will leave this version of himself, this beautiful, loving, hopeful version of himself as his mark on the earth for eternity.

moving into the chorus we have the iconic title line “forever we are young” which to me, it’s about taking youth forward with you in all that you do. taking your passion, your drive, your love, your hope -- pouring it into all that you do and not letting the outside spoil you and take that from you. keeping your passions and running towards them. that’s the core of the message in young forever.

jungkook then croons “under the flower petals raining down / i run, so lost in this maze” bringing us to think about how seasons change - flower petals can fall because of their abundance but also because they we are moving into winter. either way, the analogy of flowers is hopeful to me. blossoms on trees - the return in time. not the same blossoms, but just as beautiful as the previous ones. perhaps he’s speaking to the fact that the blossoms are falling now as the chapter is ending - which leads into the feeling of lost, of being in a maze... but the reality is, the flowers will come again. the can come again. so long as they keep running - there’s a chance for this beautiful moment to happen once again. that’s youth. perhaps you have your ups and downs, your moments in the sun (your spring days) and your cold days... but keep running, keep your energy, dream, hope, keep going. and you can return.

jin then offers the other refrain “even when i fall and hurt myself / i endlessly run toward my dream.” THIS is youth. this is it. that almost stupid attitude of not recognizing when you’re down and out... not recognizing when perhaps you should stop. turning up the energy at your weakest point even when authority is telling you to let it go. this is the essence of youthful hope and energy. even if they’ve failed, even at their lowest point, they’re cementing that they won’t stop until they achieve their dreams. once again. dream. hope. keep going. just keep fucking going.

finally the other refrain that is repeated throughout the chorus: dream. hope. forward. forward. is the direct translation. but, many would say it’s dream. hope. keep going. this is youth. our dreams, childish and pure. our hope, what we pour into ourselves, what we surround ourselves with - the light that keeps us going. and then constantly moving forward continuing even when our odds look bad. this shit resonates. bangtan did it. they dreamed, 7 boys at a small company. they hoped, holding onto one another, working hard, baby steps forward. they kept going. no matter the ridicule, the setbacks, they pushed forward. these words - they mean the world to me as i’ve pushed through shit in my life. i’m only where i am today because i, by some miracle, internalized this youthful mantra. allowing myself to dream, those moments of hope, pushing forward no matter what. that’s youth. that’s young forever.

performance: well this is shaping up to be quite a long post. i want to discuss both the MV and how live performances typically proceed. i’ve also attached to this post my personal video of young forever at the HYYH: the epilogue tour in macau. sorry for my screaming in advance.

MV: the MV is really interesting for the HYYH universe, although the same could be said for save me, which is technically in the universe... BUT the fact that the MV steps away from the storylines and almost takes us into the minds of the characters bangtan is playing is an interesting choice. we start off the video with the boys in a chain-linked fence maze, wandering around, and flashbacks for each of there characters. the overall aesthetic of the video fits with the lyrics and these feelings of uncertainty... the feeling of being lost... wandering from phase to phase in life. early on we see a scene of yoongi burning photos from the HYYH era - truly this song is about death to the past a new beginnings, overcoming the past but moving forward with the pieces of you that are important. the highlighting of the text “꿈 희망 전진 전진” or dream, hope, keep going - making it the mantra of the song. keep moving, keep running. almost it seems like the characters are running away from their demons as well. the members running off into the sunset together? it’s all about endings. new beginnings. but taking them on with determination and an attitude of childlike awe, glee, dreams, and determination.

performance: we’ve all seen the iconic wembley performance. we’ve probably all cried over it more than once. maybe it’s your comfort video? maybe it’s secretly mine (ha!). i can tell you, experiencing this song live... there’s really nothing like it. it’s understated. there’s no dance. nothing like that.

in the performances - namjoon appears alone in a starlight stage with the lyrics scrawling on a screen behind him. the lights are all dark, deep blue tones everywhere, it feels dreamy. the entire crowd is brought into a dream like state. it’s fitting, its absolutely fitting and incredibly stunning. yoongi then appears to namjoon’s left and hoseok to his right to be spotlighted for their respective verses. the emotion is everywhere. the song is even more incredible with a live band. you cannot imagine it. the chorus arrives with a change in vibe, a beautiful sunset is projected and the vocal line appears from the floor. all of the members stand shoulder to shoulder and belt the chorus and refrain. and you would not believe how devastatingly beautiful it is to hear ARMY shouting along. forever we are young. kkum, huimang, jeonjin, jeonjin. shouting together. again and again. clapping with one another. waving ARMY bombs. it’s completely emotional. i cried. i cried on the strangers next to me, that didn’t speak my language. there is nothing like it.

i must also note, the concert i was at we were all distributed lightsticks and banners with 꿈 희망 전진 전진 written on them. this song has been important since it released. it’s the core of bangtan’s rise. it is so important to these boys. and to many of us fans as well.

now - a word about what happened at wembley. bangtan had no idea that ARMY would sing young forever TO them. at WEMBLEY. fans who likely do not speak korean. chanting their mantra to them “kkum, huimang, jeonjin, jeonjin” and singing “foreverrrrr we are younnnnng” and saying they will keep going. they will walk their journey towards their dreams. something about that, it’s incredibly toughing. you and i cannot imagine how that must have felt for bangtan. the moment must have been completely surreal. one of the world’s largest stages, playing one of the most meaningful songs of their careers - a song meant to memorialize their climb to fame, their accomplishments, their youth that they likely felt the LOST during this climb to where they are now. jimin himself said that night “this song. wow. this song helped me a lot when things were really hard.” young forever means so very much to bangtan. it always has. and their fans chose that very song. we chose that song (rather we were there or not). it’s our mantra too. whatever we go through, we are on this journey, and we are not alone. we are not alone. we can muster the strength to carry on with that same youthful zeal for life. watching that video... it’s moving. it’s completely incredible. to be a part of this journey... just wow.

tl;dr: in conclusion... young forever is one of the BTS songs that has the most touching meanings, and it came at a very delicate time in their career. a time when they were finally getting the recognition they deserved and sought for a long time. a time when they were pivoting from “young” to “young adult.” a time when they likely struggled with a loss of their youth. all of this... it’s powerful because it’s not alien for those of us normal people. we all feel this. i’ve felt it as i’ve gone through tough shit and came out the other side changed, only to have to find my way through the maze and back to myself. youth and being young, it’s a state of mind. i think bangtan sincerely know and believe this. that’s what makes the song and the message it carries so incredibly powerful. so meaningful to us all. thanks for reading yet again.

#bts #bangtan #jin #j-hope #hoseok #namjoon #rm #army #jungkook #taehyung #jimin #yoongi #suga #Lyrics #hyyh #Young forever #analysis

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twokinkybeans · 4 years ago

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The Arachnoids: ROCK BAND AU [STARKER] - Chapter 17: HAMMERED HEARTS

READ “CHAPTER 17: HAMMERED HEARTS” HERE ON AO3

Find the masterpost with all the chapters linked here!

Taglist: @crystallinecrimsonmoth & @staticwhispersinthedark (Let me know if you want to be added!)

Notes: Y'all have no idea how anxious I was to write this chapter a a a aa a? I must admit, I had no CLUE what would happen so it was a lil hard to get into. BUT IT WORKED OUT. Wrote this on a little weekend trip (in our own country and definitely covid proof), and now that I'm back home; enjoy!!! -Kim

ps. I'm way too pleased with the small pun in this chap's name alsdjfalsdjf

Chapter 17: Hammered Hearts

Tony feels like he’s about to pass out.

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” he says hesitantly and stares at Bucky’s front door intently. Pepper is there. Pepper. He can’t believe that Bucky’s been able to persuade her into this conversation. Peter, who’s standing next to him, sends him a comforting smile. “Just remember why you’re doing this. Everything else will follow. I gotcha, remember?” “Right,” Tony mumbles. Why. Why-why-why.

The image of Morgan’s sweet little laugh appears in his mind’s eye, and an instant smile plays on his lips. His daughter. He owes it to her and himself to do this, and hopefully, that means they’ll be reunited.

Tony bridges the small gap between him and the front door and presses the small black button of the doorbell. In the distance, he can hear the ringing sound echoing through the hallway- and then there’s footsteps headed towards them. Tony doesn’t dare to look at Peter. One more of those gentle smiles and he’ll fall apart crying. When Bucky opens the door, everything seems to suddenly set into motion by itself. Bucky greets them and steps aside to let them in. Tony does so, knowing that Peter follows along. “We’re in the living room, this way,” Bucky says. It’s clear he wants to get started on this sooner rather than later, the tension probably uncomfortable for him too.

And as easily as it seemed to step inside... When Tony enters the living room, time seems to freeze.

“Daddy!”

Tony is nearly knocked down by the force of Morgan running straight into his legs and wraps her little arms around them. His eyes sting, and he stares down in disbelief. Morgan has buried her face against his jeans and tightens her grip. “Hey little monkey,” Tony whispers and gently takes her arms to unfold them so that he can crouch down. Morgan’s eyes sparkle with pure joy when their gazes meet. “I missed you. I’m so happy you’re home!” Morgan says and giggles, rushing forward again to hug his neck this time. Tony laughs and lifts her, her legs clamping around his waist where he holds her. “I missed you too.” Tony doesn’t know what Pepper told her, and he would never want to set her up against Pepper or make her feel like she can’t trust her parents. He’ll play along with this game if that’s what it takes to restore this mess. “You’ve grown into such a big lady already!”

“She definitely has your appetite,” Pepper chimes in. Tony’s gaze warily finds her seated on the couch, and his smile falters a little. He tries to contain himself, though and focuses his attention on Morgan again. “Mmmh, that’s my girl.” Tony pokes her belly. “I bet there are lots of little pop tarts in there!” Morgan laughs and squirms where he tickles her, and when he stops, she pokes his face in return. “Daddy, who’s that?” She looks at Peter behind him and Tony blushes. Peter and he have never quite established what they are. When exactly they became friends, he still doesn’t know. When they became somewhat more? Still immensely confusing. “That’s Peter. He’s a rockstar too!” “Oooh!!!! Just like you?” “Just like me.” At that answer, Morgan squirms out of his grip. When Tony puts her on the floor, she runs over to Peter - staring up at him defiantly. “One day,” she says proudly, “-I’ll be the biiiiiggest rockstar in the whole world!”

“Oh my,” Peter says with a grin. “I’m sure you’ll be a legend.” “See, Mommy?” Morgan sprints around and runs towards her mother. She climbs onto the couch next to Pepper and slumps down against one of the fluffy throw pillows that Bucky has on there.

“You guys want something to drink?”

Tony doesn’t know where to start. Pepper and he are seated outside on the small porch of Bucky’s house. Bucky and Peter are playing with Morgan in the garden. Her shrill giggles are music to his ears, and every time she turns around to wave at him, his heart clenches. He’s missed her so goddamn much, and even now that she’s actually here, he can still feel that sense of not having had her in his arms for so long.

“Why?” He asks eventually. Pepper sighs and clasps her hands tightly around the cup of tea she’s holding. “It was… A lot of things,” she whispers. “Tony, I never meant for this to get so out of hand. I don’t…” A sob rises from her chest, and Tony looks up, surprised. Instantly his worries take over, and he scoots a little closer. All this time, he thought she’d simply wanted him out of their lives. But could it be that he was wrong all these months?

“Pep…” He whispers and frowns at himself for already resorting back to her nickname. “What happened?” “You know Justin, right?” “Your boyfriend?” “Eh, ex-boyfriend now… But yes.” Pepper sniffs and sits up straight, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. “I never told him that you were Morgan’s father,” she continues. “But he got jealous either way. He said he’d kick us out if I let Morgan see her father again. I didn’t have anywhere else to go- I-” “Pep, you could’ve… Oh, God. Why didn’t you ask me for help?” “You had your medication problems already. I thought if I told you… Well- I didn’t want to send you off into an even worse place.”

Tony can feel a slight hint of anger wash over him. All this time, she made him think it was his fault. This problem could’ve been so easily fixed. He swallows and tries to suck it up. If he gets angry now, who knows what’ll happen. Pepper is finally opening up, and while Tony may be angry… He knows how difficult it can be to leave an abusive household- his own parents are the very proof of it. As much as he doesn’t know whether he wants to, he should try to support her here. “So… What happened to Justin?”

Pepper snorts angrily. “That asshole left for some young chick he met at a bar. Said he hated me, hated Morgan, and he kicked me out after all. I’ve been… Staying here, actually. Bucky was so kind to take me in. He didn’t know the full story, obviously. I swear, I never told anyone about your relationship to Morgan.” “Good riddance.” “I… I guess.” Pepper takes a deep breath. “Tony, I didn’t realize how bad this whole thing had spiralled and when Bucky talked to me… I… God, I’m so sorry.”

“I,” Tony hesitates. “I won’t say ‘it’s alright’ cause it isn’t… But, well, I understand why you did it…” “Tony-” “No, I really do.” After that, it’s silent for a moment. Tony glances at Morgan again, who is currently getting a piggyback ride from Bucky. He smiles faintly. “What’d you tell her?” “That you were touring.” “Didn’t she ever tell Justin about it?” “No, I made it very clear to her it was a secret. She may be playful and mischievous, but she’s smart. She always felt the gravity of the situation even when she didn’t understand why.”

Tony chews on his bottom lip. “I wonder how long we can keep this up- keeping her away from the spotlight.” “I don’t know Tones, but we’ll keep on trying.” “We will.”

After another short silence and Pepper finishing her tea, she smiles slightly. “Thank you.” “What for?” “For… Being so mature about this. I won’t lie, this whole talk gave me some sleepless nights.” “Mmmh, I definitely don’t recognize that.”

Pepper chuckles, and Tony can’t help but chuckle along with her. It’s obvious that there are many things left to discuss. Pepper’s housing situation, where to go from here… But for now, Tony feels a strange hint of calmness washing over him.

“So, who’s Peter?” “He’s in our opening band. The Arachnoids; cool, eclectic rock sound. Sorta 80s vibe and definitely a hint of Gen Z stuff that I can’t quite put my finger on. And-” “Tony, you know that’s not what I meant. Clearly, you don’t just bring a random dude from your opening band to a talk like this.” She eyes him with a curious glimmer in her eyes, and Tony groans, playfully exasperated. “I don’t know who Peter is, then,” he answers with a shrug. “I think I like him. And he likes me too? But we haven’t… Y’know, nothing’s happened yet.”

Pepper smiles, and Tony can tell she’s starting to relax as well. For a moment, it almost seems like this shitty mess had never happened at all. As if they’re just two friends again who simply happen to have a daughter together.

“This is nice,” he whispers. “Yeah,” she mumbles back, casting her eyes down. “I’m… Really glad Bucky talked me into this. He, eh, told me some stuff about your meds too. It still isn’t sorted, right?” “Nope. Doctors don’t think it ever will. We’re finishing our second leg of the tour in three months from now, and I think I’ll take some time off after that to do some form of extensive therapy.” “Oh, Tony, that’s- That’s good.” She takes a deep breath and takes his hand. “I’m proud of you.”

The praise fills his chest with warmth, and he smiles at her fondly. He may have slept with her once, even though he’s definitely not into women, but he can still see her charm. He never realized that besides missing Morgan, he missed his effortless friendship with Pepper as well.

He hopes they can build on it again.

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bush-viper-cutie · 5 years ago

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Happy Birthday

Pairing: young!severus X reader

Word Count: 3,099

Rating: T for teen

Plot: It’s your birthday and you can’t wait to attend a big party where most of your fellow 7th years will be, including one Severus Snape. Ready to be more outgoing, you take a chance and participate in several fun activities that leave you wanting more.

Warnings: Bullying, kissing, steamy-ness

A/N: It was my birthday this week so I thought I’d write this quick one for everyone! If it’s your birthday this month then HAPPY BIRTHDAY and if it isn’t then a very late/early happy birthday to you :DD

Posted: 5/7/20

Masterlist

—–

(y/n) = your name

(y/h) = your house

(e/c) = eye color

—–

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Everyone who was anyone was going to be at the top of the astronomy tower tonight, ready to celebrate you and three other student’s birthdays. You made your way down the cold corridor, clutching your cloak tight to avoid a shiver.

Your shoes clacked on the dry stone and echoed through the corridor as you made it to the tower. You took it two steps at a time, ready for the best night of your Hogwarts life. You were normally shy, rather reserved, and focused on your studies all other nights, but tonight you were ready to be your dream self.

You could hear the music pounding on the door of the astronomy classroom and wondered how on earth no teacher had found out about it yet. You opened the door and the second you stepped through several people cheered, welcoming you in.

The room was open, of course since there needed to be a no ceiling for stargazing, but glittery streamers were still gently gliding high in the air, reflecting the changing lights of candles and torches on the wall. Some students in the back were playing their magical instruments of choice while laughing and keeping rhythm.

You turned and saw a pile of cloaks in the corner and added to it, freeing yourself for the night of your old self, ready to embrace the new you.

“(Y/n)! Over here!” a group of students were waving.

You smiled and ran over, jumping on your friend and giving them a hug, “This party is amazing!”

You looked around at all the students, spotting almost all (Y/H) seventh years – and some sixth years – along with dozens of other students from the other houses. No one was wearing their school uniforms, though the outfits seemed decent enough to get caught in.

“Drinks are over there!” your friend pointed over to a table with several chalices, “Careful though, its spiked.”

You nodded and left your group to grab a drink. The liquid in the chalices were orange and smelled like pumpkin juice, but there was a slight sparkle to it that seemed unusual. You held it to your nose and noted that it smelled amazing, almost making you want to chug it immediately.

You tipped it to your lips and took a sip. You were immediately hit with an immense sense of absolute joy and happiness. Euphoria! You jumped happily and skipped back to your friends, falling onto one of the cushions on the bench, careful not to hit your head on a decorated telescope.

“MMM! Who brewed the Euphoria? It’s amazing!” you chugged the remaining liquid, cheered, and vigorously set your cup down beside you.

“Those Slytherins over there,” your friend pointed to a group of boys. “James made them brew it if they wanted to be let in.”

You looked over at the group and spotted Severus Snape, Mr. Perfect Potions in every class you had taken with him since first year. “Of course.” He was first to finish, the only one who could actually follow the teacher’s instructions, and everyone knew he was the one writing several of the Slytherin’s essays since fifth year.

You remembered asking him once for help on a potion and receiving it easily, which had surprised you at the time. It was after that encounter that you had begun to distance yourself from several of the Gryffindors that picked on him and others like him. They always talked about how awful he was… but he had been so nice to you that day.

He was leaning on the wall on the opposite side with his arms crossed at his chest and long dark hair falling at the sides of his face. He was always clean shaven and quiet, which made you wonder what he was doing in a place like this, especially, with his four bullies just a few feet from him.

You smiled, If Severus can enjoy a party like this, so can I. You laughed at that. Severus wasn’t exactly enjoying anything, just leaning against a wall with his two friends looking at everyone else enjoy things. “Snape can brew a mean Euphoria.”

“That I can’t argue with.”

Your friends continued talking for several more minutes until the last birthday kid arrived which meant the festivities could fully begin.

James stood on a bench and kicked some cups out of his way, “I’d like to thank every last one of you for finding that Gryffindor braveness inside of you and risking your weekends from now until we graduate in a few months to come to this party!”

You clapped with everyone else but rolled your eyes at his theatrics.

“Happy Birthday Remus, my friend, along with the three other students who share his birthday who have also helped put this party together,” he disheveled his own hair and jerked strands out of his eyes. “Let’s have cake!”

A giant cake appeared in the center of the room where five large blankets were spread out. The cake divided itself up into small pieces and James instructed everyone to gather around. A candle popped out of every piece and Remus, you, and the other students stepped forward.

The candles and torches went out and the cake candles lit. Everyone started singing the shortest birthday song most wizards knew and you blew out your fourth of the candles in one blow at the very end. Everyone clapped and Remus got an extra toast from Sirius and Peter.

Several students went back to talking and dancing, but a majority of the students stayed seated in the circle. You knew exactly what was coming. It had been the talk of the school for a month now and at first you knew there was absolutely NO Way you were participating… but now you felt really giddy and excited about it.

“Cake Talk is about to begin so,” Sirius looked at Severus and the other Slytherins, “anyone who doesn’t want to participate LEAVE.”

He stared at them a minute and laughed. Severus frowned and made to stand but his two friends held him down in his spot. Severus crossed his arms and stared back at Sirius, standing his ground.

“Fine then. Let’s begin,” he looked at Severus again and fake gagged, making several students laugh.

The cake floated higher in the air except for a single piece which stayed at mouth level in the air. A bottle of clear liquid appeared under cake piece and everyone clapped. The music was loud but you could still somehow hear the bated breathes of everyone as they waited for something to happen.

Suddenly, the blankets lifted two students from opposite sides of the circle and quickly carried them to the center.

“Ooooh,” the crowd cheered them on.

They looked nervous to face each other but nodded, waiting for someone to yell out a personal question.

“Have you two done it!”

Everyone burst out laughing, making the two students blush. You covered your mouth, remembering the rumor going around school last term about them getting caught in the broom closet.

“Cake.”

“Boooo,” the crowd yelled.

The two students decided not to drink the Veritaserum to answer the question and leaned forward, eating the single piece of cake at the same time until their lips touched. The blanket picked them up again and sent them back to their original spots. Another piece floated down and the process began again.

The blanket chose several Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, but now this was the first time a Slytherin was chosen forward. There were a handful of them in the circle, but the first one chosen was none other than Severus Snape.

He was sent forward, catching him by surprise, along with a male student. Laughter arose and Severus looked straight down, avoiding everyone’s eyes.

Sirius threw out the question, “Would you rather kiss the giant squid!”

“Cake,” Severus answered, causing a roar of laughter from the room.

“Talk,” the male student drank from the bottle. “I would rather kiss and marry the giant squid!”

“We all would, mate!” James clapped.

Severus and the other student were sent back and the cake piece stayed floating, waiting. More students went but your eyes were focused on Severus still. His arms were folded and his head was bent so low all his hair had come forward. Something was growing in the pit of your stomach. Guilt? Anger? This game was unfair and the Euphoria was either starting to wear off or it was no longer strong enough to hold back certain feelings.

The blanket was choosing again and this time James leaned forward and smacked the blankets with both hands. Severus and a female student were sent forward. This time Severus sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what was going to happen.

“What’s Snivellus remind you of?”

“Cake,” Severus folded his arms again.

“Talk,” she took a swig and burst out yelling, “A greasy slug!”

The Slytherins booed but the other students cheered. They were sent back again and two new students were chosen. Severus tried getting up to leave but the blanket had taken hold with a velcro-like strength.

You wished the game would end already. Him and most Slytherins were being treated so awful. You wished you were back by the punch admiring the music and blowing Whispering Bubbles over the edge of the tower with the other students.

You were staring off into the night sky at all the bright stars when you felt something lift you up and you turned as you were rushed forward to the center. You almost yelped but you held your mouth closed until you were set back down.

You looked up and saw the intense black eyes of Severus Snape. His arms were folded but for as long as you looked at him, he looked at you. You blushed and turned away, dreading whatever question was going to be thrown your way.

“You a virgin?”

“Course he is!”

Severus frowned and mumbled his usual reply, “Cake.” He looked away, almost agitated that everything was taking so long.

You looked around and saw you friends looking at you through almost closed fingers. They had warned you not to participate but you didn’t listen, all too eager to have your first kiss.

You breathed out and looked at Severus, making up your mind, “Cake.”

The crowd gasped and went silent. Severus looked up with parted lips, clearly shocked by your choice. He closed his mouth and swallowed, blushing deeply.

You looked at the cake and leaned forward, waiting for Severus to do the same. You looked into his dark eyes as he put his lips to the cake, ready to follow your lead. You took a bite out of the corner, followed by him, both heads tilting in opposite directions. His nose rubbed the tip of yours as another bite was taken, and then another.

He smelled wonderful, you realized. Like a library full of books and a freshly watered garden mixed with the obvious scent that belonged to him and only him. You swallowed the spongy bread with ease and found yourself eager to get to the center, ready to connect lips with him at the last bite.

You closed your eyes and breathed in the sugary smell of the expertly whipped frosting, opening your mouth and closing your lips around the tiny bit of cake, savoring it. You felt his lips touch yours and it felt like a jolt of electricity had traveled from your lips to your chest.

For a second you forgot where you were, the music stopped, and all you could feel was Severus’ breath incredibly close. You swallowed the last bit and pressed forward still, feeling a bit of frosting smear your parted lips as they connected with his. He tasted like vanilla and you found your tongue searching for any leftover sprinkles on his tongue.

He tasted even better than the cake and you couldn’t help but reach for him, grabbing his sweater and pulling him in closer. You shut your eyes tighter as you felt your lips grow warmer and begin to tingle. You felt the need to get closer, to press your body against him, but you had to remember where you were.

You pulled away and gasped, keeping your eyes locked on his as he caught his breath. He was blushing and smiling, entranced by the moment as much as you were. You wiped the white frosting off your lips and sucked it off your thumb slowly, wanting to capture his gaze even longer.

As sudden as the first time, the blanket lifted you up and rushed you back to your spot. You smiled and covered your mouth, searching for Severus’ onyx eyes again. He glanced up at you from his spot and looked down, an obvious smile playing at his lips.

The blanket no longer felt like velcro and you took the opportunity to stand up and walk over to the pumpkin juice hoping to still your racing heart. You turned and hoped Severus was following, but saw it was James and Sirius instead – the only two of their group of friends who had already gone and were free to leave.

You took a chalice and chugged it down, needing to lift your spirits to deal with James and Sirius and whatever they were about to pull.

“Well that was…” Sirius looked to James.

“Surprising, I’d say.” James looked over at Severus who was looking over from the back wall.

“Couldn’t have been that nice if you had to rush over here and chug the juice down,” Sirius yelled a little louder than you had wanted.

You glanced over at Severus who looked away, clearly upset by what he had heard. Even then as James and Sirius tried to make him seem unlikable, your heart was still racing and your lips still ached for his. You turned to them and shoved the empty chalice in their hands.

You walked towards Severus but he left for the other side of the room. You needed to tell him how much you loved it. How you felt like you wanted more, needed more of him. You sighed and waited by a bench for your group of friends to be done.

The torchlights were dimming, and the candles were going out as the hour went on. The night was close to being ruined and there was only one last event that could save it. There were less students but still an enormous handful, and Severus was with his friends talking and drinking one cup after another, that stayed behind.

Cushions from all four houses were being summoned and set on the floor as couples took their spots and claimed each other’s lips. You gulped and decided to use that ‘Gryffindor braveness’ James had mentioned and made your way to Severus.

Him and his friends were getting ready to leave when he saw you. He frowned, making himself look even less approachable than normal, and folded his arms.

“What.” His tone was harsh and it made every hair on your body stand on end.

“Will you join me?” Your voice was louder than you that it would be and was pleased. Maybe you were brave, and just never used it.

His face shifted along with his tone, becoming softer, “Join you?”

More candles were getting put out and you stepped closer, feeling your heart start to race again and your cheeks flush once more. His friends were annoyingly still around, obviously easily engrossed in the drama and you realized this room was the last place you wanted to be with him in.

You smiled, finding it easier to keep talking, “Join me in the empty Ancient Ruins classroom bellow this tower.”

You winked at him and saw his face light up. He nodded and pushed his friends away, thinking the same thing as you about privacy. You took his hand and led him down – taking your cloak with you – and ran giggling into the completely dark and empty room.

The second the door shut you pinned him to the door and pressed yourself against him, kissing him as deeply as possible. You could feel a rush of excitement overtake you and a wave of ecstasy wash over as he moaned behind his smile.

He pulled you in closer and wrapped his arms around, hugging you tight. You stood on your tip toes and unlatched his arms, grabbed his wrists like cuffs and pressed your knuckles to the hard surface behind him. This was the first time you had ever done anything like this and was surprised by your sudden actions.

You had him pushed against the door with his wrists pinned above his shoulders and was currently trailing kisses down his jaw, slowly turning them into bites around his neck. What surprised you most of all was how much he was enjoying it.

You could feel his chest rise and fall with his heavy breaths, matching yours. He turned his head, giving you more of his neck as you nibbled and pulled at his skin. Little red marks were appearing now and, pleased with them, moved back up along his jaw to his mouth.

The moonlight shining through the high windows created a magical glow around you in the silence of the room. Severus eagerly took your lips and hummed with pleasure. You let go of one wrist and trailed your hand down his body, allowing his free hand to do the same. He gripped your waist and pulled you closer, pushing you against him.

“Go out with me!” he blurted out quickly.

He let go of you and you stepped back, watching his face go red. Your happiness overtook you and you started giggling, unable to help thinking how incredibly cute he was. He was covering his face with his hands and shaking his head, his dark tendril-like hair swinging softly and only his nose poked from between his tightly pressed hands.

You smiled and continued giggling, attacking his nose and hands with soft kisses, “Gladly, Severus!”

He looked up and smiled, fixing his glittering black eyes on your (e/c) ones, “Really?”

You stepped closer and stood on your toes once more, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing him passionately. He smiled behind the passionate kiss and wrapped his arms around you once more.

You broke out into a million pecks and finally responded, “I would love nothing more.”

He leaned down and rested his head on your shoulders, breathing softly on your skin, “Happy Birthday, (y/n).”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Masterlist

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nocturnegyser · 4 years ago

Text

The feels

Warren x Reader (raccoon)

A/N: I’ve had this typed out for a while and I wanted to go do more Warren x Raccoon material, I just decided to actually go through it, it still probably sucks but I tried. I’m not a professional in any sense, anyways, enjoy :3

———

Summary: Warrens been acting strange.. (y/n) tries to find out what’s happening with him, wonder what it is?

———

Having only been going to her new school for 2 months, (y/n) has already met so many cool people. She even started her band called ‘Clean Trash’, ironically not with Warren on the drums.

The one replacing Warren on drums was a 5th grader named Ryan Husk, his muatation allows to move any liquid with his mind, their bassist being an 8th grader named Mars Palenski, his mutation gives him a giant rats tail and ears, pretty similar to (y/n)’s raccoon ears and tail.

Needless to say, (y/n) was getting along just fine, she was keeping up with her classes, nothing perfect but she didn’t care, just as long as she was passing.

———

Waking up one morning for breakfast, (y/n) nader her way to the kitchen for hopefully some marshmallow mateys, one she got there she saw Warren standing at the stove preparing food, both locking eyes when she walked in.

This reminded (y/n) of their first proper time meeting, although instead of giving Warren a death look, she smiled and wished him a good morning.

Warren doing the same, (y/n) was grabbing the cereal and milk, in the midst of preparing her breakfast.

“I can make you some french toast if you want” Warren offered

“Huh?.. oh.. yea ok” the still waking up very tired raccoon girl sitting down at the counter

Peter and Alex then walking in greeting both a good morning, then returning a good morning back.

Peter then smelling the french toast “Oh man! I love your french toast!” Peter getting excited

“Fuck off, I’m not making you anymore after what happened last time” Warren staring daggers at Peter while setting a plate in front of (y/n) and himself

“What happened last time?” (y/n) asked pouring syrup on her stack

“Well basically-“ Peter started then Alex shortly cutting him off “He finished all 24 pieces Warren spent almost an hour making, he didn’t even get a single bite”

“Dang” (y/n) responded while taking a bite “Hey, what do you expect from me? I was too hungry!”

“Some damn self control would be nice” Warren still staring daggers at Peter, both opting to eat the same marshmallow mateys (y/n) was planning on eating

———

After finishing (y/n) washed her dishes and offered to help Warren clean up but he insisted she go and get ready for classes, she took him up on it and go ready for the day, washed her face, brushed her teeth, hair, ears and tail.

(y/n) and Warren didn’t have any classes together, their schedules didn’t really cross paths a lot, even morning breakfasts like that were rare, (y/n) was content with their schedules not matching up all the time, she was happy with whatever time they did spend together if any at all.

(y/n) mostly ate lunch with Jubilee and if she wasn’t available for lunch then Mars and Ryan would eat with her.

It was after classes when Clean Trash would practice in the unused music room, that is if neither Ryan or Mars had homework.

She had a policy if either of them had homework before coming to practice they would have to finish it before they turn the amps on, or if they got in trouble they wouldn’t practice that day, they didn’t practice on the weekends though.

“You guys got any homework?” (y/n) asked her band mates, “No,” both answered truthfully

“Ok, let’s begin with ‘My heart is a futon’” (y/n) taking initiative

“How do you come up with these song names?” Mars asked

“I dunno, just whatever comes to mind, mind counting us off Ryan?” (y/n) pointing at Ryan, guitar pick in hand

“One, two, three, four, one two!”

Warren just so happened to be passing by the music room the band was in and overheard them playing.

Wanting to go unnoticed, he peeked in through the window watching and listening to them play, mostly focusing on (y/n) though.

Jean shortly caught him watching them and overheard what he was thinking

She has a really good singing voice, not to mention how her hair falls perfectly while playing..

“Wow,” Jean interrupting his thought “Never seen you this head over heels for someone, must be pretty special”

“Hey! I’m not ‘head over heels’, okay?“ Warren realizing she knows exactly what she’s talking about “They just sound really good is all”

“Right, just like what you thought on the ride to the movies” Jean flustering the already flustered angel boy even more “You think you’re ever going to tell her?”

“How do you- look, quit reading my thoughts okay? I don’t have anything to tell her” Warren becoming a little defensive “We’re just friends”

“Warren, you’re only friends for so long before she moves on” Jean trying to convince him

“Moves on? what’s that supposed to mean?” Warren asked confused

“You’re going to see what I mean, just waiting around doing nothing” Jean then walking off

Move on?... does she mean... no

Warren takes one more glance of (y/n) playing before walking off

———

In his room who he shared with Kurt, laying on his bed thinking to himself

Should I tell her?... Will someone else come along?...

Kurt and Alex bursting in throwing Warrens train of thought off, both seeing his worry almost immediately

Kurt, trying to be a good friend crouched down near Warren “You have immense sadness in your eyes friend, tell us what’s wrong?”

Warren, not wanting to talk about it, but not wanting to come off too mean, “Ok Blue, listen, I don’t want to talk about anything, especially with you” eventually just walking out in a huff

“... Think it was something I said?” Kurts ears flopped in a sad manner, Peter assuring him it was him “Ah jeez, he’s been like this since our horror movie trip plan fell through, must’ve really wanted to watch that movie..”

What would I ever say.. How would I even say it... when.. should I say... GAH! I hate this! I’m going to workout

Walking in the locker room , he ran into Scott already talking to friends.

His friends having already gotten ready before him, they went on ahead leaving Scott alone with Warren.

“Hey Warren! I haven’t talked to you since the horror movie fail, how’ve you been man?” Scott trying to spark a small conversation getting ready

“Yeah I’ve been fine” Warren already disconnecting from the world around him

“Yeah, you never told us how your trip to the music shop with (y/n) was” Scott joked

“It was fine” Warren replied coldly

“Fine enough you started acting less cranky all the time?”

“It was until you opened your mouth” Warren getting done before Scott and heading into the gym

———

In her room, (y/n) and Jubilee are planning the elementary classes Summer picnic, it was a special request by Charles.

“So that’s 25 turkey sandwiches for the kids with nut allergies.. and 45 pb & j’s.. in total thats.. 70 sandwiches, whoooff” (y/n) laying back in her bed just wanting to go to sleep even thought it was only 4:37pm

“Ok Scott called the ice cream parlor and they did have each classes flavor selections, but we do have to go pick them up ourselves the day of,” (y/n), Jubilee, Scott and Jean have all been tasked in helping plan this picnic for some time.

“Ok I guess that just leaves... actually making the sandwiches, sorting the sandwiches, and picking up everything else.. ugh, I don’t hate these kids but why do there have to be so many of them” (y/n) was super exhausted

“Doesn’t your reality manipulation allow you to multiply objects?”

“I don’t have it under control yet, so as of the moment.. no”

“Well not taking the easy way goes to show how much you care right? Besides, isn’t one of your band members attending this picnic? Ryan Dust, right?”

“Husk, and yes, he is coincidentally in the class I’ll be helping supervise”

“You see? wouldn’t it be just awesome for little Ryan to his bands leader working hard?”

“Ugh... I guess so”

“Well I gotta get going” Jubilee started packing her things, “I gotta meet with Jane and discuss seating arrangements, see if you can get any help with the sandwiches, maybe ask Warren?”

“Why Warren?” (y/n) confused why Jubilee specifically said Warren

“Why not Warren? Doesnt Ryan look up to Warren as a drummer? I’m sure it would make Ryan super motivated to see two people he looks up to working so hard”

“Yea ok but-“

“Hold that but. I gotta go, talk later”

With that over, for now, (y/n) started cleaning up the mess of papers on her bed and grabbed her phone to call Warren, voicemail.

Huh... guess he’s busy right now.. I’ll ask again later... but I might forget to ask later and he might over book his schedule, he really needs to stop doing that... Oh! I know! I’ll set a reminder on my phone! this phone has a reminder app doesn’t it?

Navigating her phone proved to be more difficult than she anticipated, considering she’s had her phone longer than a month, it was still her first phone, her brother got it for her before she left, she never really got around to learning how to use it.

Getting frustrated not finding what she needed using her phone, (y/n) opted to asking Warren in person

———

Running around the whole mansion looking for Warren and even asking people who knew him if they saw him around, no luck.

Until she ran into Kurt and Peter in the main hall, (y/n) immediately running up to them and asking both if the saw him anywhere.

“Uh, yeah last we saw him, he was heading to the gym, looked like he was going through it,” Peter answered, Kurt immediately agreeing, “Ja, He stormed off after I asked him what was wrong..”

What was wrong? Going through it? What’s happening with Warren?

Peter then reassuring Kurt it wasn’t his fault Warren was upset, “Dude, I told you, he’s been like this since that movie we went to go see sold out on movie tickets, like I said, he’s probably just pissed he didn’t get to see it”

“Been like what?” (y/n) now concerned

“Well it’s kinda difficult to explain but more happy in a way kinda, but also crank now that he’s more happy, y’know?”

(y/n) understood what he meant, “Yea.. well I’ll ask him about it once I find him, thank guys,” (y/n) then running off towards the gym, the two boys nodding and continuing on with their day.

———

(y/n) made it to the gym, not having really used it yet, she just ran in looking for Warren, she figured she’d look for his wings since they were easy to spot.

After a few minutes of looking, (y/n) eventually spotted Warren lifting weights on a bench in the back.

She was waving and shouting to him hoping he’d notice but he wasn’t paying attention and had his music in.

(y/n) decided she’d approach him and get his attention that way, upon approaching him she tapped his shoulder hoping it would get his attention, big mistake.

Tapping Warrens shoulder triggered his fight instincts and whipped around with full wing span, cutting (y/n) in the face.

She fell to the ground dazed holding her face, Warren immediately realizing what he’s done he immediately runs to her and gives her a towel to cover her cut with.

Scott noticing the commotion ran over to help Warren rush (y/n) to med.

———

Outside of med Warren was pacing back and forth while Scott was sitting on a bench, both waiting for Hank and (y/n).

Warren couldn’t stop pacing, Scott tried to relieve him,” Hey look, worst case scenario, she just has some light scarring..”

Warren immediately erupting, “No! Don’t you get it??! This whole thing means I haven’t changed a bit since Apocalypse!!,” Warren having remembered his nature when he aligned with Apocalypse over 2 years ago.

“Hey! Now don’t say that! You obviously didn’t mean to hurt her, you obviously aren’t the same from then“ Scott trying to assure Warren he isn’t the same from back then, “Look! even you and Kurt can live in the same room! Surely that means something”

“Yea, not like we ever talk,” Warren denying everything Scott was saying, Scott still trying to convince him otherwise, “Even Kurt considers you a friend now, he never saw you as a bad guy Warren, no one has, not even Charles”

Warren still not listening stormed off again, tears almost forming in his eyes, not too long after, Hank brought (y/n) with a clean bill of health apart from the bandage on her face, and a lollipop

“Nothing too bad, the bleeding stopped, it’s best to keep the bandage on to prevent bacteria from getting in,” Hank explained to Scott

“Thanks Mr. Hank, also for the lollipop” (y/n) gratefully thanked, then looking around for Warren “Where’d Warren go?”

“Oh, Warren... he needed to go... take care of something,” Scott nervously told (y/n) not wanting to worry her by telling her he stormed off because he’s afraid he’s the same as when he was with Apocalypse

“Oh... I just needed to talk to him about something..”

“About the sandwiches for the picnic right? Jubilee asked Peter if he could help, with Peter the sandwiches will be done in a second”

(y/n) shaking her head, “No, not that... I needed to ask him about.. something else”

Scott a little confused but realizing, “You’re not.. mad at Warren now are you?” Scott reluctantly asked (y/n)

(y/n) shaking her head again, “Of course not, I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on him like that, it’s just as much my fault I got this that it his,” (y/n) immediately placing the blame on herself for something that obviously wasn’t her fault or Warrens

Both Hank and Scott try to reassure it wasn’t either sides fault

“Well, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, I just... I need to talk to him”

“Well.. it’s probably not the best time to... bother him, he’s got some .. things to take care of right now,” Scott trying to avoid even more problems between them

“Maybe, but he’s.. my friend, I need to know if he’s alright” (y/n) then speed walking off to go find Warren

“Ah jeez...” Scott sighed

“Think they’re... actually going to talk about... that?” Hank asked

“I dunno, I just hope they’re able to work things out”

———

Having run through the whole mansion looking for Warren once again, (y/n) was certain she knew where he was, but to no avail. On her way back to her room, she noticed the attic ceiling hatch and realized.

“Tch- could he...,” (y/n) began opening the hatch letting the ladder down then ascending up into the attic.

“Hello-“ (y/n) checking to see if anyone was up there, then there he was. Not wanting to alarm him again, she slowly arose from the hatch and go up slowly as to not to alarm him. Warren was just sitting on a window sill looking out, lost in thought

W: *Why did I do that... I told myself she.. I was going to...*

(y/n): *Ok, I can see he isn’t paying attention again... this time I’ll... I’ll call him softly as to not to trigger his attack again*

(y/n) reluctantly took a step closer, stepping on a creaky floorboard thus alerting Warren, Warren looked over and sat up immediately, panic in his eyes.

“(y/n)!” Warren stuttered

“Hi! uh.. I just wanted to check up on you ‘cus I heard from Peter and Kurt that-“ (y/n) trying to be friendly with Warren then cutting her off

“(y/n)! y-you shouldn’t be here, it’s not-“ Warren spat out nervously with (y/n) cutting him off in return

“Ok ok I know I know, you had some stuff to think about but, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I snuck up on you like that, I should have probably alerted you before approaching you, you just had your music in I didn’t know-“ Warren then cutting her off once again “Look. (y/n), I am truly sorry I cut your face but.. you shouldn’t be around me, I’m just-“

“What? Dangerous? just ‘cause you have metal wings? there are people in this world without metal wings who I’m scared of more than you”

“(y/n)-”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me like that I just.. at first I wanted to ask you about sandwiches but.. Peter and Kurt told me you’ve been ‘going through it’, their words not mine, and I just wanted to see exactly... what it is you’re going through..”

“(y/n), listen, you don’t understand, I’m the Archangel of Death! I don’t belong anywhere here, I just-“ Warren spewed out with (y/n) cutting him off again

“Warren! just shut up and listen to what I have to say!” she bursted out, continuing “I know you don’t mean any harm even whatever happened in the past, I’m not sure what all happened but that’s hopefully why I’m here, I just want to be there for someone who makes this place feel more like home even though we don’t meet up a lot”

“y/n), I-“

“Being here was scary but being here with you.. made it less scary, I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but.. I want. to be there for you when I can, Warren” (y/n) then taking a step closer knowing Warren can’t go anywhere

“Being around you.. I feel.. like maybe being here isn’t so bad, like maybe I can actually make something of myself here, like maybe.. you aren’t so bad..” (y/n) holding herself with tears welling up in her eyes

“I don’t know if you feel the same around me but.. that’s how I feel.. about you” (y/n) finally finishing

“(y/n)...” (y/n) holding for impact, entirely expecting him to reject her feeling, “I feel the same way about you,” Warren then taking a step closer

(y/n) almost gasped not believing what she heard

“Being around you.. brings me to a simpler time in my life and.. whenever we do meet up or bump into each other that feeling washes over me completely and.. I thought you hated my guts when we first met. You calling me angel boy, me calling you trash panda.. I never thought you’d want to talk to me ‘cus..” Warren expanding his wings and motion to them “I also wanted to be there for you when I could but.. I never saw you during the day, so I just..”

Both of them just stood there, looking into each other’s eye, then both taking another step closer to one another.

“Can I..” Warren started, looking deep into (y/n)’s yellow golden eyes, “Can I.. kiss.. you?”

(y/n) tears streaming down her face, just stood there looking up at Warren, not even answering him, she jumped up wrapping her arms around his neck just going for it. They kissed, Warren holding her close to him, (y/n) hasn’t felt so safe since she moved, Warrens wings around both of them. After what felt like forever only being 8 seconds, they separated kissing still holding each other.

“Well... ever kiss a raccoon face girl?” (y/n) joked

“He he, uh.. no but it was definitely a fine start”

Both chuckling before kissing again

———

A/N: if this sucked plz tell me, bully me if it was actually bad :D

#raccoon x warren #warren worthington headcanon #warren worthington iii x reader #warren worthington x reader #warren #warren x raccoon #raccoon #raccoon reader #reader #x-men #x-men fanfic #head canon

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nearlymanaged · 5 years ago

Text

10. Des Mots Magiques

The last few weeks of the term seemed to fly by at the speed of light before the world came to a screeching halt. Remus felt not only pleased with himself, but also proud of his three best friends for how they finished their first half of their sixth year at Hogwarts. James and Peter had been doing better than just alright in their Potions lessons, and Sirius managed to scrape up an E on their mock History of Magic exam.

The four boys arrived at the Potters’ residence in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve. They spent the whole day playing two-a-side snow fight. James’ dad would occasionally join them, without leaving his study, by charming some snow balls to pelt whichever side was doing better at any given moment. They eventually got called back inside by James’ mum for some of the best dinners Remus had ever had the pleasure of eating - especially after exerting all his energy, trying to bring James and Sirius down.

He had been a guest of the Potters a few times before, and he always thoroughly enjoyed it. He would have never said a bad word about his own parents, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter seemed to love nothing more than caring for their son and his friends. Remus silently wondered if he could ever have such a home - full of love and laughter, instead of anxiety and quiet resentment.

He enjoyed chatting with James’ mum immensely; they would discuss topics ranging from Herbology to the ongoing war against Voldemort and his supporters. And James’ dad had such warmth about; Remus had never truly realised that dads didn’t have to be distant and strict and vague until he met Fleamont Potter.

Since Sirius now lived with the Potters, he had his own bedroom in their house, and he insisted that Remus take his bed that night.

“Your body gets wrecked enough as it is, we shouldn’t subject you to sleeping on that,” he pointed at the camping bed that Mr. Potter had set up in the room.

Remus had tried to argue but Sirius swiftly turned into a black dog on the spot, dragged a blanket off the foldout bed and onto the floor, and, after turning in circles a handful of times, curled up in the middle of it. “Thanks, Pads,” Remus had smiled at him and climbed into the empty bed.

On Christmas morning they all gathered in the sitting room to open presents and drink hot cocoa together (James had added a liberal splash of firewhiskey to each cup).

“Sirius, your hair is getting so long,” Mrs. Potter lightly brushed her hand over the top of his head as she walked past, collecting everyone’s now empty mugs.

“Yeah, I suppose it is…” Sirius tugged at a dark strand looking self-conscious all of a sudden, which didn’t happen all that often.

“It suits you, you look very handsome,” she beamed at him, effectively putting a proud grin on his face.

“I like it too,” Remus mumbled, more so to himself than anyone else.

“So what have you boys got planned for today?”

“We’re more than happy to help you cook!” Peter looked up at Mrs. Potter eagerly.

“So very sweet of you, but I’ll be quite alright. It’s your Christmas break, you should be having fun!”

“Well, actually,” Sirius got up from his chair and stretched. “I’ve been wanting to go to a record shop.”

“Great! Remus can come with you,” James grinned without skipping a beat.

“I suppose I can,” Moony agreed, albeit a little confused by James’ insistence. “What are you two going to do?”

“We’ve got...stuff, school stuff.”

“Oh really?” Mr. Potter peered at his son, but Remus never heard the rest of the conversation because Sirius grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room, evidently extremely eager to get going.

“It might not even be open today,” Remus pointed out but proceeded to put his shoes and coat on nonetheless.

“I know how to pick locks, remember?” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

“That is very much illegal, remember?”

The walk to the Muggle town took about thirty chatter and laughter filled minutes, towards the end of which Sirius started complaining about being cold. Of course, that was to be expected since he was wearing a leather jacket and no gloves or scarf or hat. Just as Remus was pointing this out, they rounded a corner and saw the record shop on the other side of the street. They could hear music coming from it, but when they walked up the steps leading to the door, they saw a ‘closed’ sign. Just for good measure, Sirius rattled the handle, but it unsurprisingly didn’t budge.

They could clearly make out now that the music coming out through the open window on the side of the building was some kind of a french song.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked slowly as he watched Sirius walk over to the window that was set in the wall just above his head, and, keeping his eyes on it, started walking backwards.

“I’ll just take a quick peek. Maybe they’ll let us in.”

“Sirius, that’s a bit creepy,” Remus laughed, watching him jump up a couple of times before turning into a massive dog. He could jump a lot higher as Padfoot and so when he leapt up again, he used his strong front legs to hang over the windowsill. “At least technically not illegal, I suppose…”

“Oh merde!” A surprised yelp came from inside the building. “Mais qu'est-ce que c'est?”

A brown haired boy, probably around their age, poked his head out the same window; after glancing around quickly, his eyes fell upon Remus. “Is this your puppy?” He asked squarely, a noticeable accent clinging to each word - French, Remus was sure.

“Er, yeah…” He pulled his lips into a smile, wondering how Sirius liked being referred to as a puppy.

The answer to that came in a loud, angry growl when the stranger tried to pet the dog. Then, Sirius leapt down to the ground and, having no choice at this point, sat down next to Remus looking rather like an obedient pet.

“Not very friendly? But ‘e has good taste in music.”

“Apparently so. We uh, didn’t mean to bother. Didn’t realise the shop would be closed.”

“Ah you are not bothering me. Come in...” The boy disappeared and seconds later opened the front door. “Please.”

Remus glanced down at Sirius, barely able to contain an amused smile, and gave him an almost imperceptible shrug before walking over to the boy. “Is it alright if my puppy comes in?”

“Of course. I don’t think my uncle would be pleased but ‘e is not ‘ere.”

“Does your uncle own this place then?” Remus asked, brushing his fingertips against the covers of records as we walked deeper into the shop, followed by Padfoot.

“Yes. I am only ‘ere for the ‘olidays. My parents think it would be charmant to spend Christmas in the English countryside. But I think it is so boring ‘ere. I only like this shop,” the boy motioned around as he stopped in front of a record player. “Do you know this song?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it…” Remus mumbled.

“I must play it for you from the beginning then!” And with that, the boy lifted the needle of the player and repositioned it at the edge of the vinyl disc. “It is a well known love song in France,” he added before lowering the needle again, allowing the music to fill the air.

The song was beautiful, Remus had to admit, even though he had no idea what they were singing about. He liked the sound of a beautiful language that seemed like it possessed magic beyond anything he’d ever learnt at Hogwarts. That night when Sirius was speaking French, talking him to sleep, Remus thought his heart was going to explode. He had listened to the hypnotising crooning of his voice, dreaming up images in his head of the words he was hearing were those of professing love. Of course, he was sure, Sirius was probably talking about how boring that week’s History of Magic lesson had been or something just as mundane. But he felt like he could have curled up in his voice all the same and spent a hundred years lying there, on that sofa, so close to him.

The boy wasn’t saying anything so Remus started pacing down the rows of boxes full of records, getting lost in the memory that the song had brought back in his mind. Sirius was striding alongside him the whole time, up until the song ended.

“‘E is comparing ‘is lover with the wind and smell of roses,” the boy spoke again right behind Remus, who hadn’t noticed him come up and flinched slightly. “‘E is saying that she is a beautiful love story, that ‘e will not stop reading it.”

“That’s...very poetic,” Remus blurted, feeling a bit out of the water discussing the topic. “What is she saying?”

“She says, it’s all just words. She does not believe ‘im anymore. She thinks it is only sweet, euh...fragile words.”

“So it’s a sad song?”

“Yes and no. Is it better to have passion that is very short and go away, or is it better to never have it at all?” Again, Remus didn’t really know how to answer such a question, and posed by a stranger no less, all while Sirius was listening to them. “You are turning red,” the boy stated to add to it all. “British boys are so shy sometimes, I have noticed this.” A strange smirk played on his lips.

“You ask complicated questions, I suppose,” Remus answered, growing a little annoyed by the boy's obvious enjoyment in making him feel uneasy.

“Red suits you. I am called Vincent,” he turned around on his heel and strode over to the record player before glancing over his shoulder. “What is your name?”

“Remus,” Moony shoved his hands in his pockets and cast a glance at the black dog who was starting to squeal and whine a little.

“Remus… I like it. Do you live here, Remus? I’ve never seen you.”

“No, I’m just visiting for the holidays as well.”

“Ah, I see. ‘Ow long will you be ‘ere?”

“For another week or so.”

“Were you looking for something specific? To buy?” Vincent casually changed the topic, again.

“Er, not really. Just wanted to browse around, I guess.”

“Then what should I play now?”

Remus looked at Sirius out of the corner of his eyes, hoping he’d indicate to him somehow which record he wanted to hear; instead, he was peering at Vincent with unyelding intensity, almost glaring, if his canine snout allowed for such expression.

“H-how about Velvet Underground? Do you know them?” Remus looked over at Vincent from across the shop.

“I do not think so.” Regardless, he strode over to the box labelled ‘V’ and pulled out a record. “You can come closer, I will not bite,” he uttered once he stood in front of the player again.

“I might,” Remus mumbled without thinking as he shuffled deeper into the shop again.

Vincent lifted his face as the first notes of Sunday Morning filled the room; there was that same peculiar smile etched in his features. “Who are you visiting for the ‘olidays? Not a girlfriend--” his breath caught, eyes gleaming, before he added, “or a boyfriend?”

“No, just a friend and his family…” Remus answered, wondering if it was the language barrier that made the whole interaction so strange. “So how long will you be staying here for?” He asked, more out of politeness than anything else.

“Two weeks. Maybe this trip will not be so boring in the end?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Remus shrugged with a small smile, not really understanding what the boy meant.

Sirius seemed to be eager to get out of there, his whining growing ever louder, but Remus didn’t want to seem rude and walk out right then, when Vincent had just put on the record for them. He shot Sirius a quick, somewhat exasperated look and turned back to the French boy. “What do you think? Bit different than your music, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is very different. Is this your favourite artist?” He looked vaguely put off.

“Not really. I like a little bit of everything.”

“Ah, I see. I like the first song more. ‘E sounds, I don’t know… ‘ow do you say? Aggressive maybe, no?”

“I suppose Lou Reed doesn’t have the most pleasant voice…” Remus laughed a little, bobbing his head.

“Your puppy doesn’t like it?” Vincent looked over at Padfoot who, for all the boy knew, was agitated by the music.

“Oh, he likes it alright.”

There was a pause that stretched while the song went on; an awkward pause, Remus felt, as his smiling eyes kept wandering from Vincent to Padfoot, to boxes of records, to the player. He started wondering if maybe the boy was growing bored, maybe he regretted letting them in, maybe it was time to leave...

“How did you get these scars?” Vincent spoke softly, yet unexpectedly, and lifted his hand, as if intending to touch a long-healed mark on the side of Remus’ face; instead, his fingers hovered inches from Moony’s’ skin before he retracted them.

“Er…I-- It’s...” Moony stumbled over his words, surprised by the bluntness.

“Forgive me, I did not want to offend,” the boy pressed both hands to his chest; now it was him who seemed to be blushing. “I think they are beautiful.”

“You...what?”

The boy let out a small giggle. “They look very unique...in a good way. I think they make you more ‘andsome.”

Remus felt his ears get hot as he stared at the boy; it was as though he only now took a good look at him since he had entered the shop. Vincent was shorter than him, probably a little shorter than Sirius. He had brown hair and eyes that were so dark, they almost appeared black. He had perfectly straight teeth and a tanned glow to his skin, even in the middle of winter.

Before Remus could respond, Sirius bounded across the length of the shop and put his giant frown paws on his shoulder, nudging Vincent out of the way as he did so.

“‘E is very funny dog!” The boy chuckled.

“He is…” Remus pushed the dog off himself; Padfoot wasn’t relenting, however - he snatched the sleeve of his coat and started tugging at it, slowly inching backwards, towards the door. Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave now. He was overcome by a kind of curiosity - this French boy seemed to be flirting with him. “I er...I think I ought to get going,” he breathed out, trying to shake Sirius off. “Thank you for...er, thank you.”

He felt a rush of excitement as the boy gave him a rather disappointed smile. Remus had become so wrapped up in his feelings for Sirius that he was taken aback by how nice it felt to have this stranger notice him, how flattered he was by it.

Just then, Vincent took Remus’ hand in his. “Come back again before you leave, Remus?”

“I-- I’ll try,” he beamed at the boy before giving in to Sirius and getting dragged outside.

Sirius didn’t waste any time before turning back into his human self, which Remus found a bit reckless, considering the boy might have been looking out the door or one of the windows.

“Well that was a drag,” he folded his arms over his chest as they started walking back the same way they had come. “What a pretentious little git.”

“I think he was alright…”

“Zis is a song about love, eet is not aggressive but full of passion. But you wouldn’t know anything about eet, British boys are so pudibond,” Sirius did a cruel yet rather accurate impression and rolled his eyes. “Fils de pute prétentieux.”

Remus gaped at him, his whole upper body turned towards Sirius. “The fleas bothering you again, aren’t they? I’m telling you, we can get rid of them very easily,” he let out a melodious chuckle but Sirius merely pouted, hugging himself tighter.

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #peter pettigrew #marauders #hogwarts #fanfic

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a-woman-apart · 4 years ago

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Separating the Boys from the Men

Yes, that title is click bait, and if you keep reading, you’ve been warned. I’ve got a lot to get off my chest, and it’s going to involve defending masculinity, femininity, and our right to BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES because in many ways, we already do.

Let’s get straight to the point. As Millennials, regardless of our age, financial status, or level of “success” (air quotes 100% intentional) we have been accused of being lazy, entitled, and way too enthusiastic about avocado toast. At the same time, we have been described as having enough power to decimate the napkin industry, the diamond industry, and the concept of traditional marriage. We have been accused of a collective “Peter Pan” syndrome, because we “refuse” to cut off papa’s apron strings and get off the proverbial mama’s teats.

Wonderful to know.

Let’s unpack the “lazy” bit. Supposedly, this is tied to the fact that we have access to higher education, we [often, not always] have parents who financially support or house us well into adulthood.

So now, my question is, Gen X (the entitled ones, ironically) and Salty Boomers, YOU DIDN’T?

What do you call that “inheritance” you received? What do you call that education your parents paid for that was less than 1/3 what we have to pay? For Boomers, how do you explain the lavish weddings, cheap [and apparently nuke proof] home appliances, and “nights out on the town” that you were able to afford by working at whatever passed for a McDonald’s back in the day? Working on a farm, at a grocery store, or in retail used to ACTUALLY provide a livable wage; for us, those are a “side hustle” and we still have to get a “big boy job” that usually requires an education that can put us over $100,000 in debt by age 30.

Hate to say it, but if you hadn’t made most of your income “during the War” or in the absolute economic boom that followed it, you wouldn’t survive 24 hours in our shoes before having an emotional collapse.

Despite the disastrous living conditions of the U.S. in the 21st Century, not much has changed in how men define their level of “manliness.”

Financial gains (stocks, bonds, portfolio, bank account)

Bro “gains” (a.k.a. “gym gains”, how “Gaston” they are, including whether they want to go for the Adonis, Apollo, or Brawny boi look, or just how far they can throw something or how “boyish” they look if strength isn’t an option and they suffer from femme-levels of body dysmorphia)

Body count (since we’re in a time of peace and not literally war, this is LITERALLY a modern term describing how many people you’ve slept with, and I have never heard an adult man, regardless of sexual orientation, who isn’t a little concerned about putting those notches in the bed post, and if not that, VERY concerned about his bedroom performance: it’s quality vs. quantity)

Kill death Ratio (I know this is a video game term now, but did you know that before video games, men in England used to regularly get on horseback, get a bunch of hounds together, and chase down tiny foxes and rabbits? FOR FUN?!?!? Did you know, that before modern sports ((including Esports)), men used to just fight to the death, regularly, even if an official war wasn’t going on? It was known as “dueling”, and in less socially developed societies, men still behave like this. So the next time you complain about “male rage” and how heartless it is to make live chickens fight, note that even though we’ve quelled male anger and hostility on some level, you will NEVER be able to take away man’s urge to destroy. Boys and men will always like knocking things over, building things from the rubble, and ruling shit. It’s what they do-- and we women can and do, too, but we have a LOT more risk-aversion and self-preservation, which is a blessing and a curse for our species-- but we just need to make sure humanity as a whole stays...chill)

So what, say ye, has changed about how WOMEN define themselves now vs. in the past. I would say that very little has changed, but the level of internalized misogyny, insecurity, and good-old fashioned denial has SKYROCKETED.

Let’s look at some terms of how the majority of women value themselves.

Financial Security (few women will admit to “wanting to be rich”, because that sounds kind of “Trump”, but plenty will talk about having minimum income requirements for their partner(s), wanting to retire at a young age so they can “travel the world”, wanting to eliminate their debts, etc. It’s different language but essentially it translates to: I want to work so hard or marry into so much wealth that I never want to worry about money after age 35. #Hustle)

Looks (it doesn’t matter if you want a Kardashian butt, you’re in the body positivity movement, or you just want to “dress like a bawse” women are just as obsessed with clothes, image, and body weight/shape/size as they ever were, it is just that now that we’ve “slain the patriarchy” we have more fashion options than ever before, because “boy clothes” are just as “in” as femme ones)

Ability to attract a partner (some women, like me, “chase”, but thanks to biology, most women, regardless of sexual orientation, seem to enjoy being pursued more than being Artemis-style hunters. This is evidenced by the fact that when the feminist owner of Bumble changed the rules of the dating website to where women had to start conversations with men rather than vice versa ((a move that had ostensibly zero effect on lesbian matching)) 72% of women that she later surveyed stated that they liked it better when men were approaching them rather than the other way around. I am sure Bumble’s female CEO was shook ((as was I)), especially because she made the change to empower women, and apparently 72% of women didn’t want the power because it meant they now had the power to face rejection, and it made them uncomfortable. Big yikes. So much for #EndPatriarchy and #ChivalryisDead ?)

Playing house (this is probably going to get me some unfollows, but I’ll take my chances. Women, regardless of sexual orientation, often seem to be REALLY into having babies or just “playing house.” There’s also men like this, too, “Family men” as they’re aptly called, men in love with fatherhood ((or just being called “daddy”, and that will never not be weird)). So many women who never want to pop out a baby describe being taken by an OVERWHELMING urge to fuck during their “fertile window” ((or is that just me?)) and seeing every baby alive as the cutest human being ever once we pass the tender age of 25. The biological clock is REAL, and I learned the hard way that being bisexual and having immense fear of pregnancy and childbirth didn’t spare me from the awful truth of my biology.

I really don’t want to keep making references to modern video games, but they seem to serve the dual purpose of being deeply satisfying and helping us to quell “problematic” urges, including that one to dominate and destroy the world. For a lot of women gamers, though, our choices ((on a broad scale, every #girlgamer is different)) deviate from men’s in some interesting ways.

#1: We still love The Sims Franchise way more than guys do

Not only do we love it, but while a lot of men (again, #notallmen) tend to build elaborate neighborhoods to extensively mod and destroy them in terrifying ways, I still see women gamers taking obscene amounts of time to design homes, raise happy little families, and cause TERRIFYING blood feuds by having Sims marry Sims from rival families ((I guess we’re more Shakespeare than we thought, eh ladies?))

#2: We make up most of mobile gaming

Most male gamers think mobile games “aren’t real” and I tend to agree, but a mobile game is invaluable for when I, a woman, have time to kill between the 3 jobs I hypothetically have and I and don’t want to whip out something like a Nintendo 2DS that is both unwieldly and attracts the eyes of every impoverished, thieving human being in a .5 mile radius. #RiskAversion. These games are often low-quality, mindless, and insanely easy, but that is WHY WE LIKE THEM. Our entire life is a job. #Hustle

#3 We also love farming sims and RPGs

While we-- and most male Millennials-- beg god to not have to birth calves, milk cows, or labor in the tomato fields under the hot sun, most of us have no objection to having our virtual avatars perform the same back-breaking tasks to the tune of cheerful chiptune music. Also, even though men definitely enjoy them, too, I have never met a woman gamer who didn’t enjoy a nice RPG; why do you think we’re such avid readers of fantasy/romance YA?

We want to be transported to a different world, and if you won’t take us there, we’re happy to go there virtually ((because we probably can’t afford travel; we’re still millennials)).

Ability to murder people who threaten our young or our partner(s) (Okay this one is a bit more complicated, but I’m just going to tell you a bit about female animals. DON’T MESS WITH THEIR BABIES IF YOU WANT TO LIVE. Human females, are, in that regard, just as savage, if not more so, than our male counterparts.

I’ve never heard of any woman ((outside of prison, maybe)) who killed another woman for “looking at her weird” or saying “your mama” too many times. I’ve heard plenty of women threaten literal murder because another woman ((or man, we’re #progressive)) came too close to her romantic/sexual partner, or another human being threatened harm on our kids or our “squad.”

I don’t know where the meme truly originated from, but “Don’t talk to me or my son ever again” is SUCH a Mom thing to say. So much misandry is wrapped up in the idea that men are predators, and that is true, but not in the excessively sexually deviant ways you think ((that’s only sometimes true)). They just like hunting things, including people, but if you give them a toy to play with ((I MEAN ACTUAL TOY OMG)) they seem alright. Let them go play with their cars, Xbox, [insert whatever] or something. They’re men, okay, they’re easily distracted/impressed/occupied.

Women, on the other hand, have seemed to be having an EXTREME amount of trouble curbing that baby-making urge, or the Excessive Nurturing Urge, that one that makes you ask your grown husband if he’s remembered to pack lunch for work or if he remembered to pack money for his playdate with his bros, because he’s gonna need money at Six Flags and you aren’t going to bring it to him because he should’ve remembered, you reminded him 30093390 times.

THAT’S NOT HIS FAULT. HE HAS MANAGED BY SOME MIRACLE TO STAY ALIVE FOR 33 YEARS. THAT’S YOU, SWEETIE. STOP BEING SUCH A MOM. GO BE A NURSE, DOCTOR, OR SOCIAL WORKER OR SOMETHING OMG.

In summary...

What separates the “men from the boys” or the “women from the girls” isn’t the era that we were born in to, our economic status, or whether we’ve been able to “conquer” our biology. That’s definitely not possible yet, chiefly because transhumanism involves a lengthy, ethics-guided process, and even if we all turn into cyborgs, the goal is to become BETTER humans, not LESS humane. Societal advancements have done more in terms of making us healthier, less destructive citizens of planet earth than raw technology ever can and ever will. Rapid technological advancement, when not combined with respect for morality, ethical standards of living for humans and all other life forms, almost always leads to human slavery, widespread abuse of animals, sex trafficking, and environmental destruction, because the “rules of supply and demand”, when not governed by strong international trade laws, dictate that consumers should be supplied with whatever they demand, because the suppliers can profit, and their right to profit should be defended at any cost.

So, in summary, I believe that “adulting” involves giving up on entitlement. What separates a truly childish human being-- regardless of their actual age-- from someone who is, in essence, “adulting” is experience, and how much those experiences serve to broaden that person’s perspective. It is an extremely childish, self-centered view, to think that you “deserve” anything for being “a good person” or, in the case of many a “woman child” or “man child” in media and in real life, just being “not so bad.”

Grown-ups are able and willing to do something that is known as “delaying gratification” which is the simple ability to delay a temporary pleasure for a long-term gain. Grown-ups are also able to perform true “cost-benefit analyses” to determine if a course of action, business deal, or even relationship is worth their time and effort. Finally, grown-ups are able and willing and able to make an informed choice and stick to it; in essence, we don’t try to “have our cake and eat it too” we understand that once we’ve eaten that cake, the cake is gone, but we also realize that if we are willing to work hard and make sacrifices, we can earn the ingredients to make ourselves another cake to eat, even if we might need a lot of help from other adults in getting those ingredients (we call this teamwork and cooperation).

Children, on the other hand (in literal and metaphorical terms), are very impatient. They get angry when things don’t go their way, and instead of taking the steps needed to improve their situation, they storm off and return home. It doesn’t matter if their home is with their parents, with their 3 roommates, or with their husband or wife, these people throw tantrums, refuse to communicate/cooperate, and stew in their displeasure until someone feels sorry for them and fixes their problem for them. They lack the ability to work through daily life problems and refuse to take any responsibility for how their actions or inaction contributed to their dilemma.

There is one difference with an actual human child or teen, though, is that they have an excuse. Their brains are still developing, and they haven’t had the chance to live through these situations yet; these are new challenges to them. Even if they do have a “bad attitude”, with help from peers and patients, principled adult mentors and teachers, these cantankerous kids can grow into well-adjusted, able adults. The high levels of neuroplasticity in their brains actually make it so that it is easier for them to accept large amounts of sensory data and to learn from processing and practicing using it.

An “adult child” is someone who, more often than not, has been coddled instead of challenged. These people have often faced no significant hardships in life. There is a reason why, even after we have recognized the immense downsides of authoritarian parenting and have demonstrated psychological harms of corporal punishment for kids, we still call “bad kids” and “irresponsible adults” spoiled.

Authoritarianism produces rigid, scared people who often struggle with critical thinking and self-esteem or end up being authoritarian parents themselves, but that last one is actually one of the less likely options. Children of authoritarian parents often develop Borderline Personality Disorder or become defiant against authority (shocker). Overly permissive or overly neglectful parenting, though, are parental styles most associated with producing narcissists, who often become authoritarian parents, because when their kids challenge them, they completely lack the patience or emotional capacity to deal with it and resort to “because I said so”, stonewalling and/or physical abuse as forms of “character-building.”

The reason why overly permissive parents spoil their kids is because kids actually do need discipline and guidance, and so these kinds of parents produce kids who are outwardly capable and confident but completely lack any of the life skills to justify it, and when they ask their parents for advice they are just met with a bunch of hippie mumbo jumbo or told to just avoid the conflict rather than resolve it. These kids grow into adults who are still sad little kids inside, because they never grew up, but now they’re sad little kids who are articulate and well-spoken and now can-- and often have no choice-- but to con their way through adult life because they’ve maxed out Charisma and they have almost no points in Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, or Dexterity.

The only parenting style worse than Authoritarian and Neglectful/Permissive is Mixed, in which a child grows up in a COMPLETELY unpredictable environment where the rules of the game change from day to day, and parents either give their children no attention at all, or they practically lock them up and throw away the key. Being raised like this is associated with the worse outcomes for the child throughout life.

So, why am I now talking about parenting styles? Because, for all that we love to trash Boomers and large swaths of Gen X on this page, we can’t forget where they came from, so we cannot allow them to forget WHO THEY MADE. It isn’t an accident that even though we live in the times of incredible economic hardship, WE are the generation (and Gen Z, to some extent) that got hooked on reality TV, video games, and social media in incredibly unhealthy ways. A lot of us 30+ millennials are growing out of it, and a lot of us have realized that it is an invaluable (and damn near unavoidable) way of marketing our products and talents. We’re often self-employed because that’s our only option in most cases.

The issue with Gen Z (who, while we called “Zoomers” now just all themselves “Doomers” and I think we should be a bit concerned about that) is that unlike us, they have no memory of “Before the Internet.” We remember dial up, we remember before that when you played outside untl the sun went down. They don’t have the privilege of being linked to that history.

Now, we have to be the Bigger Person. It’s our time to be Grown-Ups. Gen Z feels really fucking lost right now, and hearing us whine about our parents probably makes them pretty pissed off, when some of us older millennials are the parents, aunts/uncles, and older siblings to Gen Z kids. Even if we can’t be mentors, we have to lead by example, because we have a responsibility to these kids. A lot of them aren’t stupid, they see exactly what’s happening and they feel incredibly hopeless about it. Greta Thunberg is still 16 years old. She shouldn’t be out there doing that; I mean seriously, climate change is accelerating, but it isn’t even as bad as Al Gore said, it’s still reversible, but the fact that SHE FELT SHE HAD TO makes us shitty people. ALL OF US.

So you know, we all need to stop being hypocrites. We need to stop being entitled. We need to stop thinking this is about us. It isn’t. Not even close. We’re not important, even if our videos go viral or if we’re swimming in cash next to hot models by a huge swimming pool. America’s fucked up. I hate to sound Republican, but it’s because of our values. We suck at valuing what’s important, and if we don’t change that soon, it’s really going to suck to live in America.

It already does.

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marvelous-writer · 5 years ago

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Monster Mash

Summary: The Stark family gets invited to a Halloween party at the Compound, only Peter fails to mention that he’s sick.

Happy Halloween, everyone!!! 🎃🕷🕸🕷🕸🎃

Link to read on Ao3:

The plan had originally been that Tony, Pepper, Morgan, and Peter would all dress up as a family of vampires for the Halloween party the team was throwing at the Compound.

That said plan was going right down the toilet now because somehow, Peter got sick.

“Pete you ready? We have to leave in five minutes!” Tony calls from downstairs.

“Yeah…” Peter groans into his pillow, hair damp from the shower he’d gotten out of minutes before, only to have a dizzy spell when he bent down to grab something, resulting in him lying down until it was over.

Only getting up feels like a lot of work right now.

Why does this always have to happen to him? He’s been looking forward to dressing up and going to the party tonight, especially since Halloween was one of his favorite holidays outside of Thanksgiving and Christmas. One thing’s for sure, he definitely wasn’t telling or letting anyone know that he’s not feeling well because that would mean missing out on the party, and Morgan’s been so excited about going since Tony told them about it. Peter definitely wasn’t letting her down, not over a silly little cold.

No. He wasn’t going to give in to this. It was just kind over matter.

At least that’s what he’s been trying to tell himself all day, since waking up horribly achy and groggy.

“Gotta get up…” Peter murmurs to himself, sucking in a grounding breath before he slowly pushes himself up.

Thankfully his vision doesn’t blur like it had earlier, so that was a win. Peter rubs at his face tiredly, hands dropping in his lap as he looks over at his closet, eyes landing on the black tuxedo he was supposed to wear tonight. It was the same one Tony had bought him for that Stark Industries gala a while back.

The last thing Peter wants to do right now with how he’s feeling, is wear that horribly uncomfortable thing for heck knows how many hours tonight. Too bad there wasn’t something else he could wear, something more comfortable and Halloweeny.

An idea suddenly pops into his head.

…….

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tony dryly says, an unimpressed look on his face, decked out in his black tuxedo, his hair slicked back with hair gel.

Peter shrugs, dressed head to toe in his Spider-Man suit, wearing the cape over it that he was supposed to wear over his tux. “What? I’m… uh… Vamp-Spidey? Spider-Vamp? Spire?” Peter weakly says in his defense, holding his arms out.

Morgan giggles at Pepper’s side, who are both decked out in their costumes, a form-fitting shiny black dress on Pepper, and a cute black dress with a flowy black skirt with orange and silver sparkles.

“Do you have any concept of a secret identity?” Tony asks.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, right? The team already knows who I am and it’s Halloween. I can just keep my mask on all night if it bothers you so much.” Peter lightly says.

Tony closes his eyes and punches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head with a sigh. “You know-fine. You look great, kid. Let’s just get in the car. We’re already ten minutes late.”

“Not late enough for your taste though?” Pepper asks, looking like the perfect bride for a Vampire.

A smile tugs at Tony’s mouth at her teasing. “Ha ha. Come on.” He says as he opens the front door.

…….

By the time they arrive at the Compound, it’s five-forty in the evening and the driveway is a literal parking lot. In the half hour drive over, Peter ended up taking an impromptu nap, which did nothing to help the exhaustion that’s heavily weighing him down and the car ride didn’t do anything to help his stomach.

When they arrive on the Avenges’ floor, the lights are dim, party lights flashing and glowing around the room, the speakers turned up playing The Monster Mash. There are a couple of people dancing in the cleared out living room but people seem to be mostly standing around mingling, snacks and punch in hand.

“Well, well, well, look who decided to show up.” A voice comes over the music.

Peter looks over and does a double take when he sees Clint, who’s dressed as Black Widow in a black skintight bodysuit, red wig and all.

Tony snickers at the sight of the man. “Wow… looking good, Barton. Who’s idea was this?”

“Eh, I lost a bet to Sam. Loser had to dress as Nat.” The archer shrugs. “But hey! You guys look amazing as a family of Vampires and-” His eyes fall on Peter, brows pulling together in confusion. “And Spider-Man?”

“He felt like being creative tonight.” Tony explains, an amused grin on his lips.

Clint hummus, brows raising as he nods. “It’s certainly different, but hey, what the hell, right? It’s Halloween!” He smiles, holding his arms out. “You guys go on and have some fun!”

Pepper smiles, “We’ll do that. You too.”

Peter follows behind them further in the room but Clint claps his hands around his shoulders, stopping him.

“I’d just avoid the blue punch. I think Nat spiked it.” Clint whispers.

Peter raises an eyebrow under his mask. “Why? With what?”

“Don’t know, some fun juice if you know what I mean. Sam’s a wee bit off his rocker and I’m feeling a bit buzzed.” Clint grins. “You and your sister stick to the red punch bowl, got it?” He says, gently patting his shoulders.

“Got it.” Peter says as he watches him stalk off towards the kitchen.

Peter walks around a little bit, taking in all of the costumes and the shockingly lifelike decorations that were littered around the place. There are a bunch of skeletons and webs hanging on the walls, as well as fake blood spatters.

Peter’s stomach churns at the sight of it all, so he has to tear his eyes away and focus on looking for Morgan. Despite disappointing everyone with his costume choice, he’s immensely grateful that he’s wearing his suit with how loud everything is, his mask already dialing down the brightness and sound levels.

He finds Morgan by the snack table with Pepper, where Happy and May are, laughing a something. They’re both dressed as 70’s hippies, definitely May’s doing, but Happy looks pretty, well… happy. The both of them do.

Peter watches Morgan licking the frosting off of a cupcake that resembles an eyeball, cringing when he sees her frosted covered tongue licking at the top.

“Hey, there he is!” May smiles when she sees him, smiling brightly, her light pink glasses shining in the lighting. “Spider-Vamp.”

Clearly she already bumped into Tony.

“Or-what was it? Spire?” Happy throws in with an amused grin.

“Oh, haha.” Peter rolls his eyes, as May hugs him since she hasn’t seen him in a few days since he’s been staying over at the lake house for the weekend.

They all talk for a few minutes, before Morgan pulls Peter away into the kitchen so she could get a drink. Peter avoids the bowl of blue punch and goes for the red, poring Morgan and himself a cup. He rolls up his mask to his nose and takes a small sip, cringing from the sweetness of it. Morgan doesn’t seem to mind it as she happily drinks it, while Peter cautiously sips at the overly sugary beverage.

They go back out and stand with Pepper, who was now talking with Natasha, who was wearing a Hawkeye costume, her red hair tied up in a tight ponytail. There must’ve been a story behind that costume choice.

“Oooh, Petey look! Games!” Morgan excitedly squeals, tugging on his arm as she points at the other side of the room, where multiple Halloween themed games are spread out, like pin the arm on the skeleton.

He raises an eyebrow at that, wondering who was behind that one. Clint probably, maybe even Sam.

“Well let’s go see them.” Peter tells her, earning an excited squeal from her.

……

An hour pass by, and at this point, Peter’s regretting not telling Tony and Pepper he wasn’t feeling good so they would’ve stayed home.

The filtering in his mask isn’t helping Peter out that much with all of the noise and bright lights around him, and he’s developed quite the headache over the past thirty or so minutes. But then again, his senses are always extra sensitive whenever he’s sick. Which he certainly wasn’t.

Mind over matter. Peter tells himself, brows pulling together when his stomach strongly disagrees with the one cup of punch and a few snacks he’s had tonight.

He can feel the sweat building up on his back and on his forehead, regretting wearing his suit. He could have just dressed up as a ghost with a simple white sheet over him and wear whatever he wanted underneath it.

Peter is standing beside Morgan, who’s been playing the skeleton game for the past ten minutes. There are a lot of kid games here but Morgan seems to be the only kid here.

At least she’s having fun at this thing though.

Peter closes his eyes, wishing that there were chairs or something around so he could sit. He’s starting to feel a pinch but lightheaded all of a sudden, which probably wasn’t a good sign. Maybe he just needed some water.

Peter opens his eyes again and his eyes roam over the costumed partiers until his eyes land on Tony.

“Hey, M? How about we go see what Daddy’s up to?” Peter loudly says to her, bending down to her level so she could hear him over the base of the speakers.

“Okay.” She nods, seeming alright with abandoning the games.

Peter takes her hand and the two of them make their way through the sea of people, taking a few moments until they reach Tony. All of the movement is making Peter dizzy.

“Ah-there you two are!” Tony smiles when he sees them. “Having fun?”

“Yeah… lots.” Peter says, with no real excitement behind it. “Uh, I’m just going to grab something to drink.”

“Okay.” Tony nods as he smiles at Morgan and picks her up. “And how are you my little Vampire Princess?”

Peter can’t hear her answer over the loud music and voices as he turns away and walks over to the kitchen, maneuvering around the crowd.

The kitchen is thankfully empty when he walks in, and he breathes out a shaky, relieved breath as he pulls his mask off. He winces from the onslaught of bright lights and sounds, a dull throbbing behind his eyes as his headache ramps up a few notches.

Peter makes a beeline to the refrigerator but he pauses when something catches his eye. He looks down at the countertop of the center island next to the sink, fear shooting through him at the sight he’s met with.

A cutting board is out, with a severed hand right on top next to a butcher knife. There’s blood everywhere, all over the board, the countertop and all over the sink. The hand looks so realistic that there’s a piece of bone and mangled flesh peeking out from it.

Peter’s stomach violently twists, as saliva rapidly fills his mouth. His eyes widen fearfully as his eyes dart around himself for something to throw up into, knowing that there was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable from happening.

He moves for the sink but pauses, noting how absolutely disgusted that would be for a guest to find him upchucking in a sink, plus he never wants to lay eyes on that hand ever again in his life.

Peter’s eyes land on a trash can by the refrigerator and he practically dives for it, making it just in time before he’s heaving into it, throwing up what little food he’s eaten all day.

He doesn’t even hear the footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

“Peter?” He recognizes Happy’s voice. “What the hell-are you alright?”

Peter tries to answer him but opening his mouth but he gags, finding himself bent over the barrel again, painfully retching.

“I’m… I’m going to get Tony or May. I’ll be right back. You just… stay there.” Happy panically, sounding like he had no idea what to do.

Peter only groans in response.

Not even thirty seconds later, Tony rushes into the kitchen.

“Oh, Pete…” He sympathetically says as he walks over to him, placing a hand on Peter’s back, rubbing small, soothing circles.

“S’ the hand’s falt…” Peter moans into the barrel.

“What hand?” Tony asks, confused, probably looking around the kitchen for it. “Oh… that hand. Yikes. Yeah, that’d do it for me too. I’m going to have a serious talk with whoever did that, and my money’s on Clint.”

Peter remains silent, focusing on keeping his stomach as still as possible. He feels like absolute garbage, no pun intended. His head is pounding now, a dull pulsating behind his eyes and he feels horribly woozy, but thankfully less nauseous now.

Tony’s hand pauses on his back. “Was it just the hand that got you sick? You’ve been acting off all day.”

Peter caves and shakes his head. “No... been feeling sick all day.” He confesses.

Tony breathes out a sigh through his nose. “Kid, this is why you have to tell me these things. I knew something was up with the whole costume switch.”

“M’ sorry.” Peter softly says into the trash barrel.

Tony continues rubbing his back. “It’s alright but please let me know from now on when you’re not feeling good. Okay? Please? You know I have a heart condition.”

Peter silently nods in agreement.

“Think you’re done?” Tony asks after a few minutes of them standing there in the middle of the kitchen.

“Think so…” Peter says as he slowly stands up.

He leans against the counter, avoiding looking towards the sink, watching Tony seal up the garbage bag and take it out from the barrel. He turns around and looks at Peter, concern etched on his features.

“How about we head on home? Get you into bed?” Tony suggests.

Guilt floods through Peter at that. “No, you guys should have fun-”

“Pete, I can’t have any fun when I know you’re feeling this miserable. Besides, we’ll just make up for it at Thanksgiving.” Tony says with a small smile, gently placing a hand on his back, steering him out of the kitchen. “Let’s go find Morgan and Pepper.”

As soon as he says it, Pepper appears right in front of them with Morgan in her arms, looking concerned as her eyes land on Peter. “Oh, Peter, sweetie. Happy said you weren’t feeling well? I was just coming to check on you.”

“Yeah, he’s not feeling so hot so we were going to find you two and see if you wanted to head on home?” Tony says.

She nods. “Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”

Peter leans into Tony tiredly as they head towards the elevator, the bass painfully beating against his ear drums, beating along with his pounding head.

“Wait.” Peter stops suddenly when they’re at the elevator. “I gotta tell May we’re leaving.”

“Uh, yeah… don’t worry about that, kiddo. She’s a wee bit out of it right now.” Tony says, leading him inside the elevator.

“Oh… she must’ve had the blue punch Clint told me about…” Peter mumbles.

“Yeah and a little too much of it, I’m afraid. Happy told me they were leaving anyways when he found you.” Tony says, pressing the bottom floor button.

…….

Along their drive back home, Peter falls asleep in the back of the car, his head pillowed with his and Tony’s cape, the radio playing a soft classic rock in the background.

He wakes up sometime later, when they’re halfway up the stairs, finding himself in Tony’s arms.

“Are we home?” Peter sleepily murmurs, head resting against the man’s shoulder.

“Yeah, bud.” Tony softly says as he walks across the hallway to Peter’s room.

Peter hums, letting his heavy eyes slip closed once again.

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orbitariums · 5 years ago

Text

surprise! | peter parker + reader

original piece! college (freshman)! peter parker surprises his distraught girlfriend. cuteness ensues.

contains: college! peter parker, mention of drinking, rly sappy n cute stuff

You tapped your pencil nervously against your desk as the test proctor continued to collect test booklets. On top of that your leg was bouncing uncontrollably. You just wanted to get out, so all the stress that had been built up over the course of the exam could be released. Your mom would pick you up and you would get to go home and bury yourself in your bed sheets and watch all the ABC Family Halloween movies you had recorded over the past week now that it was October. Then, your test anxiety would be gone.

You were already nervous enough about the SAT considering it was a standardized test, and tests gave you major anxiety, but on top of that it was your last time taking the SAT and these were the scores you would be sending to colleges. Just the thought of that made you feel sick and you had already finished taking the test. And now your energy was drained and you just wanted to go home and forget all about the test and move on with your life. You wondered how the hell your boyfriend Peter Parker did it. He was always on top of his tests and his academic life seemed to go swimmingly - you were smart, too, but tests were a different arena.

You wished he were here to help you with your studies and make this whole process easier, because he always knew how to encourage you to do your best. But you were still a senior in high school and he was away in his freshman year of college - on a scholarship to MIT, in fact. You were proud of him, but this was one of those moments where you wanted to see him the most.

"Okay, now that I have collected all your papers, you may come to the front of the room to collect your phones and you may be dismissed. Have a nice day everyone!" the test proctor called out.

You were the first one out of your seat despite your lack of energy. You collected your phone from the bin and put your headphones in immediately, powering on your phone and getting ready to call your mom who was due to pick you up. You had to put your music on pause so you could call her, waiting for the first few rings only to get no response. You sucked your teeth, already losing patience as you made your way out of the school. Great. Your mom probably just had her phone on silent but it was actually annoying that you would probably have to wait longer for her or keep on calling her.

You really just wanted to get home and all the stress stemming from the test and this newfound annoyance was overwhelming - you were clenching your fingers up into tight balls and trying not to get visibly angry. You even felt like crying. It might have been an overreaction, but the pressure of college, testing and life in general was on your mind, and little things like this seemed to be the last straw. Just last week you'd cried over literal spilled milk - you dropped your chocolate milk on your way up to your room and it made you weep. You felt weak, but you knew you weren't, you were just stressed. So now, your mom not answering your call was like that same minuscule situation.

You were standing outside in the front of the school, other students around you standing around and waiting for their ride or talking in groups with their friends. You resented the fact that none of your friends were taking the test here - if you had checked with them about what test center they were taking their test at, you would've been able to spend time with them before the test and during the break and that would've lessened your stress. So now, you were even more upset. So you stood there on your phone, waiting for your mom to pick up, and walked up to the curb just in case she happened to drive by.

As you were being directed to her answering machine once again, you started to speak, but stopped abruptly when you saw a car pull up in front of you and honk loudly, as if right at you. When you peered closer you saw a familiar face in the front seat and your heart nearly fell out of your ass - in the best way possible. You gasped and you knew a smile had completely taken over your features, because the love of your life was there in the front seat of his car smiling back. You couldn't wait for him to open the door and walk over to hug you, so you barged open through the front passenger door and practically lunged at him, plopping your whole body into the car seat, squealing as you wrapped him in a strangling hug.

Peter hugged you back and grunted as he squeezed you back hard, the sudden influx of muscle he'd accumulated making it hard for you to breath, but you didn't care. You nearly cried being in his arms, or at least you teared up, and the smile didn't disappear from your face when he got out of the car and walked onto the other side to hug you standing up.

"Baby!" you squealed, knowing if you were any less surprised and your mood was different from what it had been before you saw him, you would cringe at your use of the pet name.

But you didn't care, and you knew you looked a mess crying and smiling at him and letting yourself melt in his arms, and that still didn't matter. You were just so happy to see Peter Parker, perhaps the most happy you'd ever been to see him in your life.

"Hi, my sweet girl," he said, chuckling at how excited you were to see him, more than he had expected.

You squeezed him hard and he just kept holding onto you, not even beginning to let go until you finally parted from him, your hands still on him in some way since you were cupping his face with one hand and practically squeezing his cheeks.

"Aww, honey. You're crying," Peter cooed at you and you rolled your eyes, laughing nonetheless and wiping at your eyes. He pushed your hands down and wiped away your tears for you, which just made you want to cry even more but you resisted.

"I missed you, Parker," you said, your old, strong-headed self returning. He snorted and playfully punched your arm, noting how you were calling him Parker instead of "baby",

"There's my girl. I missed you too."

He kissed the top of your forehead and then your nose, and then left you a quick peck on your lips. You hated to admit it, but standing there in front of him in the cool autumn breeze, you were the most in love girl in the world, and you were absolutely basking in all his love and affection. You didn't even care that the two of you probably looked like the world's corniest couple in front of all the other sleep deprived high school teenagers.

"Come on, let's get in my car," Peter said, nodding his head over to the car. He opened the door for you and then got in on the other side.

Once you were in the car and buckled up, Peter looked over at you. You were just so happy to be with him and in his car, because ever since he'd started college over at MIT you hadn't seen him for almost a month and you were in an immense Peter drought. He was your boyfriend and your best friend and you weren't even sure how you were surviving without him.

"Sooo," Peter started. He flung his hand at your knee. "How was it?"

You smiled, all your stresses had disappeared - gone out the window. You would've settled for being picked up by your mom and going home to watch movies, but this was far better. You realized you had in fact been overreacting about the test. You were smart, and sometimes the knowledge that you were got swept under the rug in your brain because you would get so overwhelmed by your worries and anxieties. Not only were you smart, but you were capable, which meant you knew you would get a good score on the test, and that even if you didn't, it didn't mean you wouldn't get into any of the schools you wanted. You had good grades, a good list of activities and things you were a part of, and you were a good applicant. That was all that mattered.

"It was fine, honestly. I was so stressed out, I just... I let it get to me, you know?"

"I know, you probably sent me about a thousand texts this week just freaking out about it. I was like, what is going on with this girl, she's a genius. I knew you'd be alright, YN. But I get it, completely. Sometimes we doubt ourselves, and we have to remember not to do that. Easier said than done, I guess," Peter shrugged, but he was making eye contact with you.

You grinned, taking his words in. You were immeasurably grateful for the fact that you had a person like him in your life.

"You're so right. But now that I'm here with you, I feel so much better. Why are you even here, weirdo?!"

You nudged him playfully and the smile on your face gave it away that if he was a weirdo, he was your weirdo. He bit his lip and smiled, playfully rolling his eyes at you,

"I wanted to surprise you. I mean, I was already planning on coming down this weekend to surprise you and to visit May, but you kept texting me about the test and I was like, okay, this girl needs me to pick her up from the test so she can have a good day. And was I right, or was I right?"

You snorted at Peter's rightful, jokey cockiness. He didn't lie, actually, what he'd said was entirely true. Him picking you up probably boosted your mood by like, a thousand percent. It was most definitely needed, and more than that, appreciated.

"Well, that's true."

You looked over at him as he was putting the key in the ignition, noticing how he was wearing a beanie, gray sweatpants, and a crewneck sweatshirt, all with the MIT logo or mascot printed on them. He looked cute and so cozy, and you could see his curls poking out from underneath his beanie. Him dressed like this, and coming to get you, was peak boyfriend-ism and you wanted to stop the car and lather him in kisses like you were giving him a bubble bath. You just looked at him and smiled, and in a soft voice you asked,

"How's college?"

Peter's eyes seemed to lighten up even more, if that was possible, and he started raving about how everyone there was so cool and a nerd like him (not those words exactly, but that was what you had gained from what he was saying). He was talking about how one of the guys from his dorm had made a robot that put together your lego collection for you, and how he and Ned had challenged this guy to put together the Battlestar Galactica lego set faster than the robot could. He also talked about MJ and how much happier she seemed, surrounded by girls who were like her and people she could relate to. You were glad for him, he seemed to really be enjoying life, and he hadn't forgotten about you, which was below the bar but still notable.

All you could ever want was for Peter to love his life, and him talking about how great his life was made you realize how great yours was too. Beyond all your stress, you were finished with standardized tests, you were doing well in school, and you had so many opportunities flying your way. You'd picked up new hobbies and you were learning how to become an adult. This was daunting for you and Peter, since you weren't even a year apart in ages, but you were a year apart in school level.

But knowing that you had each other to go through this with was one of the best parts of living out your growing lives. And Peter seemed more confident than usual- he would always be nerdy little Peter Parker, but he was growing up. He was more relaxed and less of a panicked teenage boy- he was becoming college era Peter Parker who wore thick black frames, facetimed you, his girlfriend, every week, and made a sweatshirt and sweatpants look attractive. He would always be your boy.

As he finished talking about his life and college, and the two of you were reflecting on your lives, he remembered something, gasping,

"Shit, I almost forgot." You looked at him as he rummaged through the backseat at a stop light for a second, a small, absent-minded smile on your face. He tossed you a bag and the slight scent you had been smelling all throughout the car ride became even more apparent. He smirked when he saw the crybaby look on your face return and said, "Your favorite."

You pulled out two crisp apple cider doughnuts that were the same as the ones you and Peter shared in the MIT bookstore on campus when you had helped him move into his dorm in late summer. You had both gorged yourself on those doughnuts that day because they were so good, and by the end of what was supposed to be a snack break, you were so tired that your family had to take over the rest of moving in Peter's dorm, while you two cuddled up asleep on the common room couch. You had texted him the donut emoji last week with: "missing those yummy donuts! snack break @ your school's bookstore next time i visit you?"

They were kind of squished when you pulled them out but that didn't matter, yet Peter still became sheepish when he saw their deformities,

"Yeah, trying to bring donuts in the car on a three hour car ride is questionable. I heated them up for you though, so they're nice and warm - like you."

Peter's corny joke and adorable way of flirting made you giggle, and you pouted lovingly at him,

"I love them. I love you."

"I love you. Oh, and-" he pulled put another thing, except it was a pot with chrysanthemums spilling out of the dirt. "This too."

You wanted to cry yet again but you refrained from shedding a tear, instead facing him with a warm hearted smile as you took the pot from him.

"Flowers!"

"Yeah, just for you. I wanted you to have something for your room and I knew you needed a pick-me-up, so."

"Peter... you're perfect," you cooed, and you leaned forward to kiss him, apple cider donut crumbs on your glossy lips, but neither of you cared. You kissed him for such a long time that the car behind you honked and the two of you laughed and moved forward.

Peter licked his lips, silently remarking the trace of yummy apple cider taste, and chuckled,

"Whups. Gotta watch the road."

"I'm so glad I have you in my life," you said, and mushiness and heartfelt moments weren't always for you, but in this moment, it was all you knew.

"Me too, baby. More than you know," Peter smiled over at you. "Oh, and I've been listening to the 'my boyfriend is a baddie' playlist you sent me, and I gotta say... not bad. I was thinking I could play it right now, in honor of you, the ultimate baddie, finishing your testing and killing it a hundred percent."

You stifled a chortle- you had been not exactly in your right mind one night and that led to you sending Peter a playlist full of bad bitch songs called "my boyfriend is a baddie." It consisted of Megan Thee Stallion, Beyonce, Rico Nasty, and Nicki Minaj- the works. You had almost forgotten about it, and the idea of Peter blasting Rico Nasty in his headphones or in his car on the way to an 8 AM seemed impossible, but it wasn't anymore, because the rest of the ride home you and Peter shouted and swore in each other's faces to Rico Nasty songs.

And honestly, it was the best day you had had in a while, all thanks to Peter Parker, and his never-ending surprises.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker poc #peter parker headcanons #college!peter parker #period #poc!reader #marvel #marvel oneshot #marvel imagine

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twokinkybeans · 4 years ago

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Stark On Ice 6: Epilogue [Starker]

Read here on AO3!

Chapter 6: Epilogue

Peter sighs as he laces up his skates and pulls the zipper of the Midtown Ice Arena-themed vest a little higher. He already hears the loud, happy noise coming from the locker rooms. It’s not like he didn’t teach any classes during Celebrity Spin-Off, but it’s good to have more time for his students again. “Mr. Parker, hi!” Peter turns around to see a young girl emerging from the locker room with a big, broad smile on her face. “You have to check out my double axel. I finally mastered the landing!” She’s beaming with happiness, and it warms Peter’s heart to see her enthusiasm. Before the TV show, she’d been nearly there- just… Just the final details had needed some work. “Don’t show me before you finish a proper warm-up though, go skate five laps first and do the regular routine. Can’t wait to see it!” His encouraging words reach her, and with a big smile, she sets foot on the ice to prepare herself for today’s class. Slowly, more and more students drop in, and before he knows it, the ice is rather filled. The next hour simply flies by.

Tony stares at the man presenting the current progress of the new project. Tony isn’t sure he even heard a word the man said. He never quite realized just how much he despises working as the CEO of Stark Industries. It’s tiring, having to make stupid business deals all the time. It’s not like the results are any good. He never really cared, but… Oh well. Ever since he started to care for Peter, he’s begun to care for other things in his life too. A slight smile plays on his lips when he remembers Happy’s face when he gave the man a raise that doubled his salary. He earned it, and Tony is done with being a greedy billionaire. He wants to do something else. His fingers itch to throw everything he has overboard and make a run for it. He doesn’t know what he’ll be heading for, though. He has no plan. No idea. He’s never done something else, so how is he supposed to know?

“Mr. Stark, I would-” “Wait,” Tony sighs and shakes his head. “Look, boy, it isn’t you. I bet your presentation is wonderful and that the progress is going according to plan- few bumps here and there, yada yada. I, however, won’t be in charge of this deal.” The surprised echo going through the room is everything. Tony eyes the man’s name sign and grins. “Michael, you’ve been working hard on this project. You know the revenue streams better than I do. If you want, I’ll leave you in charge to execute any decision related to this project.” The boy in front of the other people has a hard time to keep from crying. His eyes teary- filled with the recognition he’s been wanting so much. “T-Thank you, Mr. Stark, I don’t know what I did, but I would very happily accept the offer.” he stammers. Tony smirks. “It’s yours, fella.”

Michael takes a deep breath before he continues his presentation. Nervous but bold when he tells the clients what his plans are. Tony nods to himself. That was the right call. He made someone very happy here, and he doesn’t have to bother with it. He realizes he finally starts to trust people again. His employees. His friends, too. All because of Peter Parker with his ever-be-damned innocent puppy eyes. He wishes he could see Peter again soon. The boy is immensely busy with teaching and catching up with his YouTube channel and own training. Even though Celebrity Spin-Off may have eliminated them for the race - leaving Clint and MJ to win - the bookings for Dancing On Ice have been off the charts. Everyone wants to get a glimpse of Peter Parker with their own eyes. Tony wishes he could spend more time with his boyfriend, but he’s immensely proud of how the boy is doing. He’s famous, famous for being himself and the thought alone has Tony feel proud.

They haven’t seen each other in three weeks now. But Tony intends to surprise him tonight. Happy happily volunteered to be their chauffeur, and the restaurant had been more than excited to rearrange some tables to squeeze them in. Ned and MJ are a part of the secret plan, too, making sure Peter has the night off from something else.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a long time now.” “Oh?” “Why aren’t you pursuing the Olympics? I may not be a professional, but I know enough about figure skating now to see you have the potential.” Tony’s voice is gentler than usual. Peter presses his lips together and casts his gaze down. The man knows he’s treading on thin ice and it has Peter feeling understood and more at ease simultaneously. He knows he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. A simple “I don’t feel like it” would suffice. Peter wants Tony to know, though. He’s his boyfriend, for fuck’s sake.

“My parents… They were rather famous pair skaters—multiple Olympic gold medals. My mom, she… The stress of having to upkeep her physique, athletic capabilities, relationship, and me-” Peter pauses for a short second, taking a deep breath. “It drove her to a massive panic attack during a show and she fell. Broke her ankle. Couldn’t skate again on the same level. It drove her insane. She got behind the wheel, drunkenly so, and crashed herself and my father into a tree in Ohio.” Peter’s voice wavers, and he shakes his head slightly. “I don’t… I don’t want to end up like them. I want to enjoy the sports. She grew to hate it. I couldn’t… I need this in my life. I can’t bear the thought of losing it. I’m good here. Shows, teaching. It’s still professional, and yet at the end of the day, I can still have a game night with Ned and stuff my face with a way too big pizza.”

Tony nods. Unsure what to say. Peter gives him a faint smile. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s been fifteen years now. Although it’s something I carry with me, it’s not… It’s not something that I’m allowing to dictate my life. Honestly, I’m having a grand old time, Tones.” “I’m so sorry, though,” Tony whispers and opens his arms. Peter hums appreciatively and crawls into his lap- straddling the thickened thighs. All these months of harsh training show on Tony. “I wish they were still here to see what an amazing young man you’ve become.”

Peter scoffs, but his gaze betrays his pride. “Thanks,” he whispers and kisses Tony’s forehead. “Now, what about your parents? They left a mark on you too, didn’t they?” Tony shrugs. “My dad’s a prick. My mom never knew how to deal with that. They died before I could properly build a bond with her.” “How’d they die?” “Suspicious car accident. It’s never been confirmed exactly what or who did it.” “I’m sorry…” “Nah, honestly, as much as I miss the idea of them- I don’t miss them. They were never there for me when I needed them. I wish I could’ve had loving parents, but hey, at least they left me with a multi-billion-dollar company.” “I always forget how rich you are.” “Wanna be spoiled?” “Ugh, no. We’re good like this.” “Good.”

The both of them fall silent for a good minute after that. That is until Peter cocks his head and innocently brings his drink to his lips. “So-” he starts “-MJ and I have a plan for a new video for our channel.” Tony knows by the tone of the boy’s voice that it is something that Tony won’t necessarily like all that much. Or maybe he will. It’s about him, that’s for sure. “Oh?” He simply says. Peter chuckles. “Well, we figured it’d be fun to star you as a guest? People will love to see more of us skating together, and the fact that you’re Tony Stark only makes it better.” “What about MJ?”

Peter’s smirk widens, and he grabs his phone that had been facedown onto the edge of the table. Tony groans. “Oh God, you got it all planned out, didn’t ya?” “Of course I did. Who do you think I am? MJ is in charge of all our social media and editing, but I? I make the scripts. Skating is much more than just a simple dance, eh? It’s a choreo. A story.” “Sure thing.” Peter scoffs and shakes his head as he scrolls through his phone, probably to find the right document or whatever it is he wants to show his boyfriend. “Thought I taught you more these past months,” he jokes. Tony chuckles. “I’m still very much a rookie, Pete. Your world of figure skating, I- haven’t figured it out yet.” “Oh God, that’s the worst pun ever.” “Shush, I’m having an ice day.” Peter snorts and shoves his phone forward. “Maybe my choreo will shut your mouth.”

Tony can’t help biting down his lower lip as he spills his last joke. “Axel-lent.” Peter sends him a death glare after that, but the playful sparkle in his eyes betrays that he loves the convo. He nods at his phone, and Tony takes the hint. Dropping more jokes would be overkill now. (Yes, he knows more puns, and he won’t ever admit to Peter that he stayed up until 3 am a few nights ago to Google them). He squints his eyes at the screen, cursing under his breath as his fingers slide down the screen to lower the brightness. As much as he doesn’t think he’s that old yet, his eyesight doesn’t agree. Peter, if he even noticed, doesn’t comment on it.

“I- Is this Romeo and Juliet?” “Well-” “MJ IS PARIS?” “Isn’t it romantic!” “Romeo and Juliet never came off as romantic to me, to be frank. Those teens had an unhealthy obsession and-” “Tony, I love Prokofiev’s music. You’re gonna have to bear with it. Be glad I didn’t cast you as Juliet.” “Did you steal this from that Netflix show? I know Justin’s a hottie, but-” Peter blushes a bright red, and Tony grins. “Does that mean you agree?” “Yes. Of course, I agree. But no, this choreo is very different. They were pair skating for the competition, and we’ll be making a little play. On ice. Plus, it’s not even the same song.” “Alright, alright. Agreed on Prokofiev.” “Good.”

Tony smiles as Peter continues to explain the rest of the choreo to him. The costumes he has in mind. Tony doesn’t like admitting things to himself- especially not when they’re good feelings. But he has to confess he likes this. Peter. Skating. Even acting, in a way. It unlocks a part of him that he’s never quite experienced before. Obviously, his job allows for minimal creativity, but it’s nothing, absolutely nothing, like this.

A little over 11 months ago, the broadcasters asked Tony to participate in Celebrity Spin-Off; an annual TV series where celebrities get paired up with a professional figure skater and compete against each other. Well, he’d laughed in their faces, wondering why they’d even ask. Were they really that stupid? He had better things to do. “If you can find me a male skater who lets me lead, I’m in,” he’d scoffed sarcastically to brush them off.

He’s still not sure why they took his answer seriously, but they had. Tony Stark doesn’t back out of a promise, though. So, here he is, lacing up his skates to record a YouTube video with his sweet, enthusiastic, now 22-year-old boyfriend and his bestie; dressed in a silver-lined tight suit to play Romeo out of all possible characters.

He’s never felt more alive.

(Especially not at 7 AM)

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rainydawgradioblog · 4 years ago

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a covidsation with mary claire

For the first Covidsation for autumn quarter, here is an interview I did back in May with Mary Claire, my dear friend and one of my favorite local artists. Mary Claire is a singer-songwriter based here in Seattle who makes “sad girl rock” (see: Mitski, Angel Olsen, etc.). I first met them through the DIY scene and was lucky enough to book them at the finale Red Room show, a house venue I used to live at and help run. As evidenced by the picture below taken that very night, seeing Mary Claire play live is a magical, mesmerizing, captivating experience. Often accompanied with minimal, but tonally-rich instrumentals, their powerful and hauntingly stunning voice paired with visceral, poetic lyrics transport you into another realm. I *highly* recommend listening to their album Phantom Limb, which you can find on your streaming platform of choice or you can snag a physical copy at Everyday Music on the Hill like I did! Last month, they also just released an incredible stop-motion music video for their song off PL called “I Don’t Like Drinking”, directed, edited, and animated by Barb Hoffman, which you can find here! Thank you Mary Claire for these thoughtful responses and for creating such vulnerable, beautiful art <3

Lola Gil: Tell me about your project. How has it evolved? Which artists are you most inspired by? How would you describe your sound?

Mary Claire: Hi hi I’m Mary Claire. I was never someone who was playing music since they were a little kiddo, it was something I picked up my senior year of high school. But pretty much everyone in my family has some amazing and weirdly specific aptitude for music, so I think being surrounded by that kind of allowed me to gather an eclectic, personal understanding, appreciation, and internalized feeling for music, so I never really took lessons or anything like that. I enjoyed and still enjoy that from the start, I was okay with the fact that I didn’t know “academic” theory and I just played with what feels and sounds right. And I still do that. So I played around with all those youthful punk feelings and had an angsty band in high school that was not bad for small town Sacramento. I think I learned so much from that and it gave me a flood of unhindered and unhinged confidence for recording, performing, maneuvering stage mechanics and technicalities, etc. Also it introduced me into the world of songwriting that I did for that band and for myself that just immediately poured out of me, which led me to what I’m doing now. I am extremely lyrically-focused and write mostly about lived personal experience that I surrender to and make extremely overly-wordy. I went from a solo act, to a bigger full piece crunchier band, to me and a piano player, back to a solo set, so I’m really just kind of evolving with my resources, the songs I’m currently living in and playing, and with what would bring everything to life most fully.

I’m inspired by everyone, even if I don’t necessarily sound like them or listen to them all the time. Like, my adoration for incredibly angry punk music is what got me started in the creation of my own music, so that foundation will never leave me. Even though I won’t sound like IDLES or Shame or Pissed Jeans, their point of view and their devotion to cramming so many words into one breath is a place I also come from. We execute similar feelings in different ways. And though I currently am not anything like Yves Tumor, King Krule, or FKA Twigs, the layers in their stuff sends me so far. But I think lyrically and melodically, I pull inspiration from and sink most into Mitski, Sasami, Angel Olsen, Palehound, Big Thief, Bella Porter, Darci Phenix, Fiona Apple, Sufjan Stevens, Izumi, and Weyes Blood.

Someone once said my tunes are “sad girl rock” and I think that sticks in a fun, quick way, so that’s what I tell people. But more recently, the stuff on my upcoming album I think is like a sad, fucked up, incredibly fast-paced nursery rhyme book (lol). I’m really excited for this album I wrote, more than anything ever. Also my good friend and twin flame Francis is helping me record it and is giving me a lot of knowledge and challenges and affirmations and inspiration. I owe a lot of this second album’s production and complexity him. There are a lot more people involved in the recording of this one, so it’s a lot fuller in a new and exciting and scary way.

LG: As an artist, how have you been affected by the pandemic? I saw most of your tour you had booked was unfortunately cancelled-- are you planning on rescheduling?

MC: Rescheduling feels so completely beyond me right now, so I am just considering it to be cancelled until things in the world really start to settle down to some degree of safety and responsibility. However, the silver lining in all of this ‘rona stuff is that it has given me a ton of time to recenter myself with my music and devote my own energy into recording and feeling the core of my upcoming album. I think when the world is moving so fast, it’s easy for me to feel like I’m behind, like other people are getting shit done faster and in a more “impressive way”, in a way that matters more or has more inherent value. So when we are all forced to stay at home with ourselves, not only does it remind me that all of those insecurities are completely not real and are in fact a delusion borne from a capitalistic-productivity-equals-artistic-worth-framework, but I also get time to actually enjoy and fine tune what I otherwise might have just thrown out into the ether desperately and prematurely in hopes to be current and up to date and ~with it~.

LG: Have you been working on writing any new tunes? Have you been involved in any other creative projects recently?

MC: When I was recording Phantom Limb, I wrote the majority of my next upcoming album, so while those songs don’t feel incredibly new, there is a ton of stuff I have yet to share and that I am so eager to scream to the world. It feels like some of the stuff I am most proud of making in my entire life.

But since I left for Berlin to study abroad last fall to when I came back to Seattle this January, I really hadn’t written anything new. I think I had been going through a lot of personal and immense change and hard growth that wasn’t particularly inspiring, it just sucked and was intense and necessary, but sometimes all that bad stuff is not something you can just make art out of. Plus I had to just do something totally different and invest and surrender to techno and being a gross city Eurotrash gremlin and let that out cathartically. But recently, I wrote my first super new song in what feels like ages, and I’m so happy. I was afraid maybe I’d forgotten how to do it, but it’s pouring out of me again and I feel like me again. I have also been working a bit back and forth with a friend from the project World Peace. We just keep sending clips back and forth and weaving our separate projects together a bit, which is something I’ve never done and I’m having a ton of fun, especially because our music is so different. Besides that, I have some plans to work with another good friend Izumi after having adored them the moment I moved here.

LG: How have you personally been dealing with the pandemic and the craziness that is 2020? What has your quarantine experience been like so far?

MC: I went home to Sacramento for a month and watched more TV than I had probably in my entire life. It was really good to see my family and siblings who I miss so much. But I came back to Seattle in April and since then have just been spending my days in a limbo of online school weirdness. But I’m so fortunate that I live with so many people who are all so unique, all of whom I feel are my best friends. So I definitely don’t get too bored:)

LG: What music have you been listening to during quarantine? What has been your go-to isolation album?

MC: Okay to be honest, when I begin to think of my next album and what it feels like inside of me, I make one single playlist with like hours and hours of songs on it and it’s the only thing I listen to for like a year. So I’m prone to listening to the same stuff perpetually forever and always, but I think I’ve always sort of been like that. It makes the feeling familiar. But since I’ve felt close to the sounds of my upcoming album for a long while now, I’ve actually pretty much been listening to what is my ~album 3~ inspo playlist, because I already feel that beast growing inside of me. I’m a planner.

Most of the artists on those playlists are the ones I listed above in regards to who I feel are my biggest inspirations. But right when quarantine started though I would pretty much only play Man Alive!, I would just go through the whole thing and then restart immediately. When I was in Sacramento, my family had a rule I could only play it with headphones because it was literally nonstop, that’s just how I consume things; I take a bath in them until I feel every single part of what was made. But other than that, I’ve been bumping Peter Campanelli’s Pesto Baby and crying a lot about it, Darci Phenix’s (my best bud from Sac) Juniper Street which is some of the best songwriting literally ever, and Francis Farmer’s Bruised Fruit which is SO expertly recorded and thought out, I am so lucky he is my friend and wants to record my upcoming album with me.

LG: Arethere any spring shows that you were particularly looking forward to attending that got cancelled?

MC: Pretty much all of them imaginable.

LG: How do you think the Seattle music scene is going to be like post-COVID?

MC: Hopefully, this can recenter us and remind us we’re all really really and truly in this together. It’s up to us to lift each other up and get each other on bills and spread the word and create community for those who need it most and for those whose lives rely on this art. Seattle seems like it is really good at that on a small scale, but once it gets to a little bit larger stage, it’s easy for people to forget where they came from, who supported them, and what should be at the forefront of our radars. I think shedding this cool guy persona and getting back to why this shit is so important and listening to/PROMOTING smaller artists who are making The Best stuff is something everyone could be reminded to do.

LG: In this funky era of social distancing, how do you think artists can support each other during these weird and difficult times? How do you think social media is facilitating and/or inhibiting connection within Seattle’s overall creative community?

MC: I think people’s ability to make what seemed like such an immediate switch to social media music promotion and shows was really amazing. However, it makes me feel a bit hopeless and dystopian and sci-fi in a weird way. That being said, trying to resist the change has only proven to be detrimental to me and kind has come back to kick me in the ass. Like, I should not be turning down opportunities just because livestreams kind of freak me out in how foreign and disconnected they can appear to be. I’m no better than them, and it’s important I think to accept things where they’re at instead of pretending they’re not happening.

That being said, I think everyone has been maneuvering with such grace and empathy and compassion for others in a way that I can really feel, and I hope that sticks around forever.

- Lola Gil

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