#imma eat my croissant and see where this takes me

[cecexwrites]

Okay so I am working on an idea for a Descendants fic that is currently spiraling out of control and idk what to do sooooo I am going to ask ya’ll.

The basic idea is that when Adam was creating Auradon, he came to Elsa who declined Arendelle’s participation in the uniting. Soon after, Elsa finds herself protecting the Enchantress who has run to Arendelle for Sanctuary as both a perceived villain and because she has magic, which Adam is trying to purge from Auradon.

so these are the choices

Option 1: Write it set in the early days of Auradon. With The threat of war looming over them as Elsa refuses to turn over The Enchantress. The romance would be Elsa and the Enchantress and this would result in me writing another fic that would probably include option 2 or 3. This option is mostly just turning the war into something that happened many many years ago and would give it it’s own full length story

Option 2: Gil and Jay are on their epic post grad adventure and end up crossing into Arendelle, something they don’t realize is against the rules. Oops. We get the events of option 1 in general flashbacks (and maybe a novella) and Jay and Gil end up held as ‘prisoners’. would probably be Jay/the son of Elsa and The Enchantress (Who will get a name, I promise) and possibly Gil/kristanna daughter idk.

Option 3: Relations between Arendelle and Auradon have always been strained due to the events of option one but now that Ben is king and he’s tearing down the magical barrier between Auradon and The Isle and he’s welcoming both Villains and magic back to the land, it’s time to try and repair that relationship. The Frozen Family travels to Auradon to do just that (The events of option 1 would again be addressed in flashbacks and a possible Novella) and I’m not entirely clear on what the ships would be here- maybe the same. There would also be a threat that they have to come together to defeat (Although I could hold off on this idea and maybe use it for the next generation idea?)

I do still need to actually sit down and watch Frozen 2 so maybe most of these ideas wouldn’t work after the events of that movie who knows. anyway, as of this moment, what do ya’ll think?

[bts-reveries]

expect the unexpected | 3

“Minseok! Soojin! Time to go!” you yell, checking your phone for the time. With three kids, it’s always a struggle in the morning. But you all manage to get things done and going. 

You turn your head to see if the kids were coming out of their rooms yet but the first one you saw out was your youngest son. He smiled up at you right when he saw you looking and you laughed, pointing behind him.

“Can you call your brother and sister please? They’re going to be late for school.” Haneul turns around and runs to his brother’s room and yells ‘mommy says wet’s go!’ and then runs across to the other room to yell the same thing to his sister. Who you hear scream ‘I’M COMING!’ 

“Are you ready?” Jin says, walking up behind you. You both had a free morning so the two of you decided to take Haneul out on a little date while his older siblings were in school. You haven’t asked him where he wanted to go, but knowing your son, his ideal date would be auntie Sohyun’s bakery and the playground. It’s all a three ish year old wants. 

“I’ve been since 6:30,” you replied. “KIDS LET’S GO,” you yell one more time. Now the two finally came running to the front door with their backpacks on. 

“Got everything?” Jin asks. 

“Yes!” Soojin yells, grabbing the door knob and walking out, followed by her older brother.

“Yeah we got everything,” Minseok replies. Haneul watches the two walk away and looks up at you.

“Where’s mine,” he says in a little voice, patting his shoulders. 

“You’ll grow broad shoulders like mine when you’re older,” Jin says, “let’s go, Minseok and Soojin are going to be late.” Both you and Haneul held the same expression as you frowned up at him.

“Honey, he’s talking about his backpack,” you tell him, pointing to Haneul’s backpack that was hung up by the door.

“I knew that!.. I was just--,” Jin replies, grabbing the bag and handing it to his son, “here.”

-

“Be good like always, we’ll see you later okay?” you tell your kids as you drop them off. 

Minseok and Soojin give you and Jin a kiss before getting out of the van. 

“Bye bye,” Haneul waves, Soojin and Minseok hug and kiss him goodbye too. 

You lowered down the window and yelled, “Love you!” as they walk away from the van.

“Love you too!” They yelled back, waving at you and Jin. Jin leans over you and yells out your open window.

“SOOJIN-AH MAKE SURE YOU STAY AWAY FROM BOYS!” Jin yells. Your eyes widen and you push Jin away. 

“Shh--”

“REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO HANA--”

“JIN!”

“I only like Yeonjun oppa!” Soojin yells back. Jin’s eyes widens.

“YAH!”

“Uncle secretary strikes again,” you laugh. “Calm down and let’s go, Haneul’s getting hungry.”

“That’s it, I’m grounding her until she’s married.”

“You’re letting her get married?” You ask. “I’m surprised you’re even going to let her date.”

“She can date.”

“And when will that start?”

“After she’s married of course.”

Haneul tilts his head. “What?”

-

“Auntie Sohu!” Haneul yells as soon as Jin opens the door to the very iconic, 24/7 Heaven. 

“Oh Haneul you’re back!” Sohyun happily says, stepping out of the counter to greet you three. 

She kneels down to Haneul’s level and he runs to give her a hug.

“I have money,” your son says with a smug smile, slightly pulling away from Sohyun to show her his ₩10,000. Sohyun laughs, standing up straight. 

“Wow! Go ahead and get whatever you want then,” she says, Haneul immediately runs off, grabbing a tray from the counter. 

It was a bit high for him but with some tippy toeing and a few jumps, he was able to grab one on his own. 

“Wah, I wonder where he gets that appetite from,” Jin says, shaking his head. You look at him, furrowing your brows as you see him with a tray of his own, already piled on with a few pastries.

“When did you get that we just got here?” you ask. Sohyun laughs, walking away from the two of you and following Haneul. 

“Is there anything special you want Haneul-ah~” she asks, bending down to Haneul’s height as he looked through the glass case filled with pretty and cute cakes. 

Your son smiles and points to a chocolate cake.

“Haneul I don’t think your money can pay for a whole cake, maybe just a slice?” you say, walking up to him.

“Just one?” he asks you, looking up at you with those puppy eyes. You smirk, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

“Those eyes don’t work on me any more buddy, your siblings overused that already.” He pouts, turning back to the cake.

“Just a wittle one please,” he tells Sohyun. She laughs, getting up to go get his little request.

“You got it,” she says.

“Is Yoongi in the back?” Jin asks, putting his tray on the counter, ready to pay. Sohyun shakes his head.

“He’s at his studio. He might be busy for a while, rumor has it, he has a popular celebrity that came by the other day that wants to work with him… but you didn’t hear that from me,” she winks. You put your hand over your mouth.

“Omo.. is it someone we know?” You ask. Sohyun, disappears behind the counter to get the cake slice for Haneul.

“Yeah I want to know too,” Jin says, you both wait for Sohyun to answer. She laughs when she turns around and faces you two, seeing your dumbfounded expressions. 

“I would love to tell you,” she says and you both lean in to hear what she says next. “But that jerk won’t tell me either,” she rolls her eyes slightly. “All he told me was that he won’t be working as often in the bakery because of it.”

“Aww,” you pout, “that’s so cool though, imagine being surrounded by a celebrity all the time?” Jin frowns down at you.

“What?” 

“Nothing,” he replies, “so is it just you right now?” The bakery wasn’t empty, but it wasn’t busy either. So you weren’t too surprised that it’s just Sohyun working this morning. As of now, it’s just your family, a couple sitting by the window, and a couple of university students. 

“No, Rina is in the kitchen and Taehyung should be coming in soon,” she says. 

“Oh Rina is here?” you say happily, stretching your head to the side. Sohyun smiles at you nodding. 

“Auntie my cakkee~” Haneul whines, placing his tray on the counter as well. You and Jin got caught up with your friend that you forgot why you were there in the first place.

“Oh, sorry baby,” you say sheepishly. Jin bends down to pick him up, having him sit on his hip.

“You have your money?” Jin asks, looking at his son and brushing his hair back. Haneul digs into his pocket, taking out his money, waving it around.

“Let me just ring this up,” Sohyun says, she then looks up at you, “do you want anything Yn?” 

“Oh, yeah, just a mocha latte please,” you say, your best friend nods, punching in the numbers. 

While Jin and Haneul pay for their food, Rina comes out from the kitchen and instantly lights up when she sees you three. 

“Auntie Rin!” Haneul yells, pointing at Rina.

“Hi buddy! Are you having a date with mommy and daddy?” Rina asks. Haneul nods his head, smiling at her.

“Hey, can you make a mocha latte for Yn?” Sohyun asks as she packs the food into boxes. 

“Sure thing, what size?”

“Just a regular,” Sohyun responds, handing you the box full of the pastries your boys chose.

“Thank you~”

-

The three of you were now at the playground at the kids’ favorite park, the one by the bakery. You and Jin sat on the bench, eating croissants and drinking coffee while Haneul made friends on the playground. 

“Can I have a bite?” You ask your husband, already opening your mouth. He brings a hand up to brush your hair away, before giving you a bite of his croissant. 

“You literally have one for yourself in your hand,” he says, as you take two big bites of his. 

“But yours is ham and cheese, mine is chocolate,” you say, mouth full. 

“After 18 years of being together, you’d think I’d learn to buy two of each,” he says, eating the rest of his food. You crinkle your nose.

“Saying the years make us sound so old. Our dating anniversary is a whole adult,” you say, eyes widening. Jin laughs at you, turning to grab a napkin. 

“Well I just like to remind myself that we started dating young and that we have a three year old to not make it seem like we’re so old,” he says, putting a hand on your chin and wiping the sides of your mouth. “I feel like I have another child,” he mumbles. You frown at him pushing his hand away.

“Says you.”

“Daddy!” Haneul calls as he runs to the two of you. It looked like his friends had left with their parents already. Jin dusts off his hands and wipes his mouth as he gets up from his seat.

“What is it buddy?” he says as he picks up Haneul when he gets to him. 

“Swings!” He says, pointing to the empty swing set. 

“Okay, let’s go.”

As the boys left for the swings, you got up to throw all your trash away so you could join them.

Jin puts Haneul on one swing as you come running to sit on the other.

“Push us,” you say, looking up at him with a big smile. 

“Yeah yeah yeah!” Haneul yells, kicking his feet. 

“Okaay~” Jin says, walking up behind you and pushing you off of the swing.

“Jin!” you yell as you stumble onto the floor. He doesn’t help you but instead walks over to Haneul and does the same. 

“Hey!” he says, pouting and you don’t know if he’s about to laugh or cry. 

“Yah, you said to push you so I did!” Jin says, backing away as he says this. You go over to Haneul and help him up.

“Let’s chase daddy,” you whisper to him. Haneul’s pout turns upwards into a mischievous little smile.

“What?” Jin says, looking at his youngest.

“IMMA GET YOU,” Haneul yells before sprinting off, you run after and the two of you start chasing Jin around the playground.

“Yah, you really think you can get me,” Jin laughs, running faster around the slides and jungle gym. Physically, yes, he’s much taller, has longer legs than the two of you, but was he smarter?

As Jin runs away from Haneul, you run the opposite direction to meet him at the other side as you three are just running in circles. 

He wasn’t even looking forward, but laughing as Haneul tried to catch him with his little legs.

You managed to get in front of him without him seeing and you immediately wrap your arms around his torso, pushing your weight against him and bringing him down.

“Mommy got you!” Haneul laughs. Pointing at Jin as he caught up.

“What should his punishment be Haneul?” You ask, sitting on top of your husband. The whole scenery actually was quite strange now that you think about it. You were sitting on top of your husband… near a slide of the children’s playground… asking your three year old for punishment ideas.

Let’s just say good thing the other kids left and it was just you three at the moment.

“Tickle tickle?” Haneul says, his knee bent as he slowly walks towards his dad. Hands up and fingers wiggling. 

“Y-yah, don’t get close to me,” Jin says, squirming beneath you. You laugh at Haneul as he creeps closer toward his dad.

“Tickletickletickle,” your son mumbles, tickling his dad’s sides. While Jin is distracted, you slip a hand into his pocket and take his wallet.

“Haneul quick, take this and run!” You say, handing the wallet to your son. You watch Jin’s eyes widen and he pushes you off as soon as Haneul runs off, screaming with his dad’s wallet.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” Jin yells, running after Haneul. You sit there on the floor laughing as you watch them run off, knowing darn well that Haneul was running towards the bakery. 

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

expect the unexpected

♡ part three: tickle tickle? ♡ 

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: sorry for the super late update! still struggling in school lol, this update has helped me destress tho?

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[typhoidmeri]

so give me coffee and tv

“You could always run away with me,” Abe says. He’s squinting at her as he cleans the spotless lenses of his glasses. “Be my muse, my ingenue, hmmm?”

“As nice as the offer is imma say no, old man.”

“You wound me, my dear. Did I ever mention how great a breakfast I make?”

“An almond croissant stolen under the Grape Ape Duo’s noses does not a breakfast make.”

“I believe it is what you Americans call a continental breakfast. And it is not theft. Our dear Clinton owes me.”

“And Kate?” Darcy asks. Tearing the croissant in to pieces she glances over towards the counter. Clint is balancing a cup on a fingertip while Kate is dealing with a customer. The customer must be being an asshole for the smile on Kate’s face is beginning to crack around the edges.

“That, my darling Darcy, is a secret well kept,” Abe says tapping the side of head. “Perhaps you are only immune to my charms because your heart belongs to another, hmmm?”

Abe tilts his head towards the door of the coffee shop as the bell tinkles merrily as Steve pushes it open and ushers his daughter Penelope in. The little girl bustles in as far as Luca’s bed on the floor along the wall beside the weirdly old fashioned heater.

Steve smiles and scans the coffee shop, his eyes stopping on Darcy. She’s too far across the room to see the sparkle in his blue eyes but the smile on his lips stretches wider in his stupidly handsome bearded face. A ripple of heat rises in Darcy’s cheeks and her belly gives an unsolicited flip as she raises her hand in an awkward wave. “I don’t know what the flux you are talking about.”

“Neither does he. Not yet anyway.”

…..

“I hate you,” Darcy hisses to Steve as Pen runs off to her room for a hairbrush and sparkly hair clips.

“What did I do?” Steve asks innocently.

“A little warning about the honey badgers at the school gate.”

“Er,” Steve murmurs hands flailing until he settles them in his hips.

“What happened?”

“Besides the catty remarks about me being your fuc....functioning toy/nanny?” Darcy says smiling brightly as Pen clatters down the hall.

“What!?”

“Don’t worry I told them you were just having a midlife crisis,” she says.

“I...what? I’m only thirty-two. That’s not middle aged!”

“That’s the bit that sticks with you? Not the bit where the school moms practically murdered me for daring to pick up your kid?”

“Okay, Darcy, I got the stuff to make your hair pretty,” Pen shouts.

“One minute, Pen.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry, Darc, I didn’t really think.”

“It’s fine. I didn’t say anything. Really I was too afraid they would take me down like an injured gazelle at the watering hole. Dude, they must try to eat you alive.”

“You have no idea.....do you really think I look middle aged?”

“You’re fine, Steve. You’re still hot. DILF status affirmed.”

“Daddy, what’s a diff?”

“Er, a difference of opinion,” Steve says after several heartbeats.

“Grownups talk weird,” Pen grumbles, wrinkling her button nose.

….

“Look, Abe, I got Star of the Week,” Penelope shouts, weaving through the tables of the coffee shop. She barely stops herself from tripping over Luca, Abe’s little French Bulldog as she waves a certificate in Abraham’s face. Steve winces as he closes the door behind him a bemused smile on his face as his daughter’s enthusiasm.

“Star of the Week, hmmm? Let me see, little miss Pen,” Abe says. He plucks the paper from Penelope’s hand and adjusts the glasses perched on his nose. “This certificate here says one Penelope Rogers is Star of the Week.”

“That’s me,” Pen says. Pointing at her chest where a shiny red star sticker sits beside a splash of green paint.

“Are you sure?”

“Yup, it’s me. Daddy says we can have pizza for dinner to celebrate.”

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

“You know what I hear goes best before pizza?” Erskein asks patting down the pockets of his vintage tweed jacket.

“Daddy says it’s salad,” Pen says wrinkling her nose. The girl drops down to her knees to give Luca a hug and scritches behind his ears. The little dog wiggles his rump and gives Penelope a slobbery kiss.

“Ice cream,” Abe says, pulling a wallet from his breast pocket.

“I love ice cream.”

“As you should. Do you know who else loves ice cream?”

“Everyone but Sam. Sam’s got lack toes and isn’t supposed to have cow’s milk. Not even macaroni cheese.”

“I was thinking Miss Darcy might like an ice cream too.”

“Oh, yes. Imma go ask Darcy right now,” Pen blurts out. With a little giggle the girl skips across the cafe to where Darcy is enthroned on her favourite corner table. A pen between her plush pink lips and another tucked into a messy bun.

Steve sighs, watching his daughter launch herself at Darcy. “I know what you’re doing, old man.”

“I’m not up to anything, Steven, I’m just treating my goddaughter to a treat.” Abe stuffs a folded bill into Steve’s hand with a fond pat. “Now off with you. I have a cafe to run and you have ice cream to get with Miss Penelope and the girl of your not so innocent dreams,” Abraham says with a sly smile and the snap of a newspaper.

“Abe.”

“Hurry now. Out of my hair before I decide to seduce the girl myself.”

…..

“Are you busy Friday night,” Steve asks as he wipes down the spotless counter in the shop.

“Ha,” Darcy snorts, “that’s cute you think I have a life beyond studying and staring at bits of code. What time?”

“Seven, seven thirty?”

“No problem.”

“I’ll pick you up.”

“Why?” Darcy asks, wrinkling her nose in confusion. Her place was only two long and three short blocks away.

“To go out?”

“No, I get that you’re going out. I’m not far away. I’ll just walk over to yours to watch Pen.”

“Pen won’t be there. She’s staying at Ma’s Friday night.”

“Then why do you need me to babysit?”

“Because I’m not asking you to babysit. I’m asking you out,” Steve says. He nervously runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh..”

“On a date.”

“Oh...”

“You wanna buy a consonant?”

“What?”

“Nevermind.”

“You...you’re asking me out on a date. A date date?”

“Yes, I did.”

“You want...”

“To take you out to dinner. Yes.”

“Yes,” Darcy says. A slow smile spreads across Steve’s face and a storm of butterflies swarm in her belly and a flush of warmth ripples down her body from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

...

Happy birthday, @aenariasbookshelf

This little stitched together ficlet took a year to get posted. There is more in my head, but words are hard to line up when you brain refuses to play ball. Title from ‘coffee & tv’ by blur. I’ll pop the ficlet up on ao3 tomorrow when I might be more awake. I hope.

[phoebehalliwell]

Hi! I’ve recently fallen down the Charmed rabbit hole again and I fount your blog, which is amazing btw !! I LOVE YOUR CHARMED NEXT GEN FIC!!!! I also really enjoyed your thoughts about Phoebe's kid! I wish they would have lived in the actual show. How do you think Phoebe’s child living would have impacted her relationship with Coop? And the whole twice blessed prophecy?

!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!! and i’m so glad you like my fic (which i promise i am still working on)!!

as far as phoebe’s kid + the twice blessed prophecy, i have written on that au here, but i think if the baby really had been born it would not be the twice blessed but i do think they would still probably give that plotline to wyatt just bc. i also think that having a child and being a single mother would really further the need for coop bc dating as a single mom while still having a career is hard enough but dating while you’re a single mom with a full time job and a magical half demon baby who was lowkey the antichrist for the better part of the first trimester is a whole new can of worms. i think she still would have had a relationship with jason dean but i think it would be very short lived as i don’t think that he would be ready to commit to a family. and then by the time we hit season six and piper and leo have broken up and jason has left phoebe and yada yada yada phoebe would really be like huh. love isn’t real. we’re all gonna die alone.

and so she’s sitting at a cafe with paige at the end of love’s a witch and is completely ranting about how love is dead or whatever and paige is just like yeah. uh huh. yep. totally. yeah. yeah. i know what you mean. yeah. uh huh. bc it’s totally Not the time to bring up the fact that she has a date with richard on friday and phoebe’s just going on and on like “okay bc look at olivia! she was doing what she was doing out of love!! and she was killing people!!! just an evil, sad, lovesick, ghost. like me. you know cole was my longest relationship? that was like,,, the most successful relationship i had, and it wasn’t even remotely a success!! he turned me evil, paige. i became evil. because that’s what love does. it bring out the worst in people.” and paige is sitting there like jfc i think i need to bring in a shrink or something when all of a sudden the dude pulls up a chair at their table and is like “hi hate to interrupt but i couldn’t help but overhear and you’re wrong” and phoebe’s like who the hell are you and paige is like yeah fuck off buddy private conversation here and this guy’s like “look. love is the strongest magic we have” and paige is like “ehh i think other, stronger magic” and phoebe’s all like “okay, i don’t know who you are, but you don’t know me and you don’t know what i’ve been through okay so you don’t get to sit down here and try to talk to me about love. bitch.” and this guys just like “actually, i do. my name’s coop. it’s nice to meet you, officially.” and he holds out his hand for a handshake and phoebe’s looking at him like imma judo flip u motherfucker but then something catches her eye and she snatches his hand and flips it over, staring at his cupid ring and she’s like no. she grabs her coffee and storms out leaving coop and a Very Confused paige sitting at the cafe table. she turns around at the exit and gestures to paige like come on let’s go get out of here so paige grabs her croissant and purse awkwardly and leaves and coop’s like “i hope everything goes well with richard!” and paige is like????? so she pulls phoebe aside like Who Was That and phoebe’s like “that was the most annoying, pesky, interfering magical creature there is out there. that was a cupid.”

and later that night phoebe would be tucking her child asleep (who in this story is a little girl named prudence) when she hears “you love her, and it doesn’t seem to bring out the worst in you.” and she whips around to find coop leaning in the doorframe and she’s like “you better leave before i vanquish you” and coop sorta just laughs softly and he’s like “i get it. you’ve been burned before. but actively fighting love? it’s not you, phoebe.” and she’s like “tf do you think you know about me” and coop’s like “i know you believe in love. true love. the kind that takes your breath away, where it's the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning. you wanna know how i know that?” and phoebe just glares at him in a very defensive stance like yes i want to know but no i will not play into your stupid little monologue and coop’s like “i read your column. not many people could write like that. you help people find love every day, you help them reach out, take risks, open up their hearts-” “okay you know what i’ve had enough of your little sugar coated soap opera speech. go bug someone else.” and phoebe pushes her way past him and beelines for her bedroom, slamming the door and coop’s like :|

and the next morning phoebe’s eating cereal and by eating a i do mean just pushing wheaties around in a pool of milk while dency and wyatt play in the playpen and piper comes in with a mug of coffee like “good morning how are-” “am i a cold hearted cynic?” “...you doing this fine friday morning??” “i’ve got a cupid on my ass” “i’m going to hope you mean the magical kind and not some bad tattoo situation” “i mean, yesterday i was saying that love brings out the worst in people and now i’ve got this 6′2″ cupid with a square jawline following me around. but like,,, don’t i have the right to say that??? all love has done is hurt me. i’m allowed to bitch a little about it!! like! mind your own business??? goddamn! and you know-” “phoebe i just woke up save the onslaught until after 10am please” and phoebe just sorta pauses and goes back to pushing her cereal around and piper says “and i’m not calling you a cold hearted cynic but... you have changed” and phoebe’s completely ready to rant again like “pfft of course i’ve changed you think you can be married to the source of all-” “zp! not til after 10!” and phoebe slumps back and watches as dency draws a small pattern in frost on the tile floor and you can tell she’s sorta mulling over what coop said blah blah blah this episode is the vortex demon she gets knocked into a world based on her innermost desires and in it she’s happily married and in love in an apartment of her own raising her daughter and writing her column blah blah blah she takes one look at her finger that very much has a wedding band on it and is like “cupid!!!! cupid u fuckin bastard get down here!!! cupid!!!” and no response and she’s scowling like “coop??? coop!!!!!!!!” and he’s no where to be seen and she’s like wait shit i think this is the alternate whirlpool vortex things i gotta find my sister blah blah blah chris knocks paige into phoebe’s world and paige is like “okay what’s the catch” and phoebe’s like “what catch” and paige is like “you know, the catch! what makes this not reality. like in my world, magic was practiced openly, and everyone knew about it. come on, chris said the realities were shaped my like our fantasies or wants... is anything different here??” and phoebe’s like “oh you know uhh not really everything basically the same um but you know i have my own apartment here where i live with dency...” “oh my god wait where is she now who’s taking care of her?” “oh uh well that would be my husband.” “cole’s alive????” “no! not cole! i don’t know who he is actually but he seems nice :)” and there’s a beat where you can tell paige really wants to Get Into What This Means and phoebe really Doesn’t Want To Talk About It but then they both seem to agree that they’re being hunted by a demon so maybe this can take a back seat rn blah blah blah they kill the demon and the end of the episode paige is about to go on her date w richard and her and phoebe have a little heart to heart and paige is like i think you should talk to the cupid bc i think maybe your whole hating love thing might just be a front like i think you’re trying to convince urself of something blah blah blah and phoebe’s just like :/ maybe so.

alright blah blah blah next episode phoebe’s like “coop?” and coop, suddenly appearing behind her is like “yeah?” and phoebe’s like “i give up. so uh work your little cupid magic or whatever and i guess let’s do this thing.” and coop like lights up he’s like so happy and he’s all like “great! let’s get started!” and phoebe’s mentally preparing for a series of really boring dates but then coop surprises her by not doing that??? like he doesn’t set her up with anyone at all bc he’s all like you need time to heal and find urself again???? which honestly phoebe isn’t complaining about and like phoebe will be feeding baby dency in the kitchen and coop will pop in like “what are your thought on taking a pottery class?” and it’s happened before where she’s been so swamped with work that she doesn’t have time to pick up supplies for dency so coop will just go out and like buy diapers?? and gradually phoebe feels herself opening up more and more and one night she’s at p3 and this guy come up to talk to her and she doesn’t just scowl him away and she finds herself having a great conversation and she see coop wink at her from across the bar.

and you know things go well with this guy yada yada yada but one night she goes out on a date and her sisters weren’t able to watch lil dency for her so coop was babysitting and she comes back home to see coop sending out small pink glowing projections from his ring and her baby just laughing uncontrollably trying to catch them and phoebe gets why she has been ready to dive fully in to the guy she’s been going out with. coop says it’s just nerves bc of her past relationships and that it’s completely fine and understandable but phoebe knows better. or at least now she does. she’s in love with coop.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

This is H2o au related so if u don't care for H2o au pls ignore (test post pls ignore)

How do I do a Read more on mobile

Fuck it ur all cursed with knowledge now

bitch is back on pc here’s a read more

I finally figured out the fucking TIMELINE for H2o au

That is the list of planets the black ops squad will be visiting on Serendipity (that's the name of their ship, it's the one they got after they had to scrap the Lorelei). Start: Pandora (obviously. They were all abandoned by Dahl). Then Eden-5 (I wanted a civilian/city based planet and hey it sounds like Gaige lives in, like, a suburb, so.) then Aphrodite (VENUS AMBASSADOR) which is a planet I (hopefully) made up to fit the venus ambassador plot I have going on (they get a politician sentenced to death by posing as him blah blah, long story, amazing song). Pandora again for a fun little climate changing jaunt to push people away. Junpai-7 BECAUSE GEARBOX WON'T STOP MENTIONING IT (also Cutlord Karuu is a vampire pirate queen and you all can fight me on that) where Zane meets Clay :D!! Then Erebus for the Obsidian Black (hynnng) part 1. Gaea for the Hephaestus United, then back to Erebus for Obsidian Black 2: Electric Boogaloo (also titled: Barnabas, you bastard) (also also titled: I cried writing up the concept for this because I hate killing characters).

Also imma just say it, the Eridians are straight bastards in this AU. Crazy scientist bastards. They have a huge god complex (and I mean so does the Obsidian Black Dr. Denman so HEY (BUT I MEAN WHICH CORPORATION DOESNT AY LMAO)) and we all are their 4th grade silver medal science fair project. They're kicking back in their home dimension drinking, idk, martinis or some shit, whatever it is aliens drink to get wasted, and, uh, eating... Croissants. Croissants aren't even like soley rich people food why the fuck did I pick croissants wtf. I should've said, like, lobster. And laughing at us. They are LAUGHING at us right now. Bastards. Stupid, science, God-complex having BASTARDS. See. It's like. When the corporations tested on the humans with THEIR science fair projects, now they have to realize that THEY are now being tested on with God's science fair projects. Fuck you Hyperion eat a bag of dicks. (not you Vaughn, kisses, ur perfect. Also Athena if you're you know. Running Hyperion now. Wait also Gladstone even tho ur dead. Bby ILY. AND TIMTAMS how could I forget the cookie bar).

I'm like bringing myself to tears with how much I love this au so much I just *bigg sniff*. It makes me so happy, I love werewolves and vampires and merfolk and psychics and I can just smash it all together like I'm in 2nd grade with 3 cans of different colored play dough and just this once Mr. Celebirdy can't tell me I'M NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE ART.

Like Troy, I let him inherit the psychic-ness from his dad. So he's like a godtier psychic because it's hysterical and that's it that's my reasoning for every single thing in this au. Meanwhile hiromis over here like 'uh, something bad MIGHT happen in 30 seconds. Wait and find out like the rest of us. Loser." I mean I guess Troy would also do that but not because. He literally doesn't know, just because he is kinda an asshole and would do that. Like can we all agree Typhon randomly being able to find Vaults is Hella sus. Like the fact he was shidding in Jakobs manor and then just got up and walked towards where the Vault would be??? Like. Ya Boi is psychic. Only logical explanation here shut up its the only. Logical explanation I am not taking any other answers.

Hammerlock is a werewolf? Yes because a posh hunter gentleman turning into a big pubby who loves hunting with a hat on is hysterical to me. Double for Aurelia who is EVEN MORE posh and ITS TOTALLY UNBECOMING OF A WOMAN AS RICH AS ME, DARLING. But awoo. What if Aurelia is just the tiny pubby. Like Hammerlock is a big fuckin majestic as hell wolf and Aurelia is like. Tiny fluff ball. Oh my god. Yes. Also Wainwright with his werewolf boyfriend husband because the echo memes are too good.

And zer0 is a dullahan because imagine the fucking hype behind Zer0 FINALLY taking their helmet off for the first time. Everyone is like :D Omg. And it's happening and it's happening and THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING THERE. Also the fact that Zane 1. Knows Zer0 from past bar experiences and 2. Has had some of his best nights start with just a head. Well it's the perfect recipe for them meeting. Just imagine the chaos that would happen in that single bar.

Also Ember is another merperson because I think that would make the line "marry me. I mean, uh, yes," extremely funny with that context because when else are you gonna find another merperson that escaped the forced psychological chains of Junpai-7. Also she likes fire!!!! It's perfection. She's perfection. I mean what? Huh?

Also I really like Tannis so of course she has a huge part in this AU (hello Megan) as the Lewis-esque character. Tho I might have plans for her in the future :) because Tannis best girl and I would die for her.

[jamesdeerest]

skinny love

pairing: remus lupin x reader

request: anon asked “Young!remus x reader skinny love. Idc if it’s been used too many times because I’m a slut for skinny love”

notes: ahahahaha nonnie cuz im a dumbass hoe i didn’t know what skinny love was and had to look it up lmao i’ve found 2 meanings?? one’s like theyre too shy and ones like its unhealthy so imma do the first one cuz its less depressing also!! listen to skinny love by birdy its a bop!!

warnings: pining, fluff, probably swearing

word count: 1k

“just talk to him, y/n! it’s really not that hard.” emma said, nudging you. you groaned, burying your head in your hands. “maybe not for you, social person, but for us losers, talking to people you don’t have a crush on is hard. how am i supposed to talk to him?!”

unsurprisingly, the boy you were talking about was remus lupin. you had been crushing on him for god knows how long (one year, seven months and three days. not that you were keeping track or anything.), and it didn’t seem to be going away any time soon. yay. 

it all started back when you had potions with him in fourth year. let’s just say you aren’t the best at potions, and slughorn, taking pity on you, partnered you up with one of the smart people in the class, which happened to be a brown haired adorable clumsy mess. gee thanks, sluggy. and since then, you had been too shy to say more than a couple sentences to him, while still maintaining a raging crush on the gryffindor.

however, remus had been crushing on you for nearly two years now, and was in the same predicament- every time he saw you and went up to talk to you, his mind went absolutely blank. he had been crushing on you since near the end of third year, when you delivered a swift takedown of one lucius malfoy. today, he still swears it was the most badass thing he had ever seen- and he’d seen euphemia potter bitch-slap walburga (or as james had christened her, cheeseburga) black, which was a very close second. and when slughorn partnered you up together in the autumn, he silently thanked the potion gods for making you shitty at it.

the boys had found out about his little crush a couple of weeks in, and after teasing him mercilessly for a solid fortnight, they let it go. when remus lupin wants to be shy, remus lupin will be shy, and you can’t do anything about it. that was a quality the two of you shared- the ability to be so stubborn that people just gave up on trying to change your mind. worked a treat with teachers, mind you. just kind of backfired with crushes.

sirius had just had his six month anniversary with marlene, and after taking her out to hogsmeade, was feeling like setting other people up. james hated him when he got in these moods- sirius kept spreading around that james was over lily, and as he put it, open for business. however, marlene had told him that mary macdonald had heard lily tell one of the girls in their dorm that she actually didn’t hate james, so he was locked down. peter was dating mary, thanks to sirius’ most recent meddling session, and therefore, by process of elimination, remus was the only single pringle left in the group. and therefore, by process of elimination, sirius’ target. 

“so! moony! i just had my six month with marls, and i just realised- you’re still single as a... as a snape! hah, i’m funny. anyways, who ya crushin’ on, moons my boy?” sirius smirked, practically patting himself on the back.

remus raised an eyebrow. “same as always, pads. hasn’t changed for two years.” sirius groaned, sliding off the sofa onto the common room floor.

“y/n?! still?!” he said incredulously, laying in a heap, before hopping up. “right! i’ll see what i can do.” he grinned, before walking over to marlene, no doubt to ask her about you. 

remus spluttered, jerking up. “wait, what?! no, pads! i’m perfectly happy where i am, thanks.” sirius mimicked him, raising an eyebrow. “sure, lupin. look, i’ll sort you out, okay? i’ve got this. now, marlene, love of my life, my sunshine, my boo thang, would you happen to know who y/n likes?”

you were eating breakfast when marlene slid into the seat next to you, stealing a croissant from the platter in front of you. “y/n! long time no see, huh? anyways, i wanted to talk to you about something...”

after about five minutes, marlene bounced off, a smile on her face as she went to sit back down next to sirius. the blonde whispered in his ear, and he grinned, before nudging remus. “mate! y/n likes you!”

poor remus, who was drinking his tea, choked on it, and erupted in a coughing fit, james slapping him on the back as hard as he could. “james!” remus got out, voice croaky. “not helping!” james pulled his hand back, looking guilty. “oops, sorry moons.”

when remus had had a couple sips of water to calm him down, he looked back at sirius, face starting to flush red. “what did you say?”

sirius rolled his eyes, repeating himself. “listen, dipshit, i said y/n likes you! now you can stop pining over her for two bloody years and go ask her out!” remus just stared at him, mouth slightly open. sirius sighed, stood up and grabbed remus by the collar, dragging him over to where you were sitting and tapping you on the shoulder. 

you turned round, raising an eyebrow when you saw sirius holding a struggling remus. “is everything alright, sirius?” sirius smiled, pushing remus forward. “yep! remus has just got something he wants to ask you. isn’t that right, remus.” remus winced, rubbing the back of his neck, painfully aware of the whole table watching. 

“hey, so i was wondering if you... maybe wanted to go to hogsmeade with me sometime? i mean you obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to, i was just wondering cuz i actually really like you shit why did i say that-”

“remus!” you cut him off, smiling softly. “i’d love to. now you go have a sit down, you look a bit red.” remus paused, shocked, then grinned, nodding as he went to sit back down. 

emma nudged you, wiggling her eyebrows. “told you so, l/n. i fucking called it.”

tags: @blackpinkdolan @hoewkeye @shadylittlewonder @sassy-specter @i-am-eating-rn @knowledgeisthebomb

reblogs n comments are appreciated so much!

[artificialqueens]

Notebooks and Post-it's - Chapter 12 - (Branjie) - Thankyoumissvanjie

A/N I know… I’ve started a new fic and kind of forgotten all about this one. But here ya go. A new and angsty chapter - completely on brand for this fic. Enjoy my dears. <3

Summary:

“…”

The silence on the phone was very telling, but not what he needed now, sitting in his hotel room in the middle of the night.

“Bitch, you best be givin’ me some life hacks ‘bout now, cause I be freaking the fuck out,” A’keria looked at him unimpressed, as she was getting into drag. The facetime call one she had waited for, knowing that Silk had led their girl down a path of self-destruction.

LINK TO AO3

“…”

The silence on the phone was very telling, but not what he needed now, sitting in his hotel room in the middle of the night.

“Bitch, you best be givin’ me some life hacks ‘bout now, cause I be freaking the fuck out,” A’keria looked at him unimpressed, as she was getting into drag. The facetime call one she had waited for, knowing that Silk had led their girl down a path of self-destruction.

José held his phone tightly in his hand, hoping that if he wished it hard enough, he could teleport A’keria here. He needed her. He needed her wisdom and most of all he just needed her hugs.

“Vanj… you’re an idiot,” the sigh at the end spoke of motherly levels of disappointment and José felt his shoulders sag as it hit him how stupid he had been.

“Kiki, I know. But I be like the Titanic after the iceberg hit, I know it ha-happened, but now imma need you to help me be Rose on the float and not Jack!” José was still drunk, stumbling over the words, trying to find a way to explain it to her, so she understood.

“You need to sober up boo, your metaphors are messy,” she lowered her hand that was applying eyeliner to send her a raised eyebrow.

“Hoe, my whole life be messy. Like Mama, imma need more than just Cilit Bang to clean this shit up.” falling back onto the bed with the phone in his hand, he wished that there was some way to just unmess it all. To go back to the truce he and Brock had managed to keep during the broadcasting of the season.

“Lemme just get this straight. Y'all been fucking around for weeks, and then you went and gone all Branjie, like you back on the show.”

“Boo-“ José could feel the oncoming storm of a full-on A’keria takedown, and he wanted to end it before she really got going, but he was too late.

“I ain’t finished, and then your hoe ass decided to play the jealousy game and then it made him weird and now you ran away in the middle of the night cause you drunk and all up in your feelings… AND the tour hasn’t even begun yet? Chiiiiile.” She looked directly through the screen for a second or two, trying to communicate all the way from Chicago how dumb this all was.

“I know.” Even through his drunken haze, José could see that.

“Do ya? Cause I think you’ve out-Vanjied yourself. Like bitch?”

“But what I supposed to do when he all sad face and hot and… there,”

He missed him. So fucking much.

“Nothing. You do nothing,”

“I… can’t,” It felt impossible. Brock was his favourite drug, and he wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“Nah, you just won’t,” trust A’keria to see right through him and voice the real truth.

“Why you gotta read me this hard, Kiki?” Her words seemed to hit him hard, but at the same time it was refreshing, he knew that Silk would have joked and told him to go get that good dick.

“If you wanted to be patted on the back you would’ve called silk, boo!” For a second they both looked at each other before laughing hard, “so what’s your plan? You gon’ talk to him?” She patted some powder onto her face, almost done.

Her mug looking correct, as usual.

“I mean…” José couldn’t look at her face, knowing that he was stalling.

“Vanj. You an adult, you need to have a good damn convo with yo man,”

“Bitch, he ain’t my man!”

I wish he was though. Fuck, I wish.

“You sure ‘bout that?” That all telling, all willing Kiki eyebrow was back, daring José to talk back, “Vanjie, babe. You love him, it would break your heart if he found someone new. So go get yo man,” She smiled softly.

“He don’t love me,” José knew he sounded like a child. His voice low and quiet.

Just saying the words made his heart crack a bit.

“Bitch, how you know that?”

“We’ve only been together ‘cause of me. I inist-instig… I was the one setting it all up every time, while he always be looking like he want me to leave, but ain’t sayin’ it.” Brock always looked like he was confused as to why he had shown up, the post-it in hand as he walked into one of the many hotel rooms they had fucked in.

That was why José kept distracting him, kept on throwing himself at Brock, hoping that his body would make him remember how good they had been.

Last night had felt like a turn for the better, the soft touches and tender sex had made him feel hopeful.

Until Brock wouldn’t look him in the eye.

It had made José feel like a dirty secret, and that was why he had fled the room, his skin crawling and his heart heavy.

“Vanj…”

“I know I’ve played myself, and that I best let go of him, so I can stay on that floating door on the sea and blow in that whistle to get picked up from the icy ass water by someone,” Maybe Brock was his Jack.

Maybe he was just meant to let him the fuck go?

“Boo, we both know Rose could have moved a bit and there would’ve been room for Jack on that door. You best figure out a better haiku, cause this one ain’t working, Mama,”

“Bitich

“Hoe,”

“Grandma,”

“Child,”

“Love you, Kiki!”

“Love you too, Boo. Gotta go, but bitch. Talk with you man, Jesus!”

He ain’t my man.

“Chris Hemsworth thinks I’m a woman, I am so naturally-” Brock woke with a start as his phone rang loudly, answering the phone before he was even sure where the hell he was.

Why the hell was Nina calling him?

“Nina. Shit… I just woke up-what?”

“Could you open the door? I’ve been knocking for ages” She sounded slightly annoyed, but hearing her voice after a week apart was like a balm to his soul.

“What? You’re here?” Brock almost fell out of the bed, quickly grabbing some sweatpants. Seeing the mess of the room made the event of last night flash through his head.

Well. Fuck.

“Uh-uh and I got us breakfast, so open the door, Brock,” A knock on the door underlined her request, as she hung up, Brock quickly walked over to the door, his head throbbing from the drinks, the tears and everything else that happened in the last 24 hours.

Opening the door he came face to face with the sunny appearance of one of his best friends, her face clear despite the long flight she had just arrived from. In her hand, she was holding two cups of coffee and a paper bag that smelled like some kind of greasy pastry.

It almost made Brock weep with joy. The prospect of coffee was almost too good to be true.

Nina walked past him into the room, not verbally commenting on the strew clothes and covers, but just sending him a pointed look that spoke volumes. Dropping the food on a table she turned around and looked Brock up down, pausing on the bruises on his chest and the hickeys littered all over his neck.

“Well you’ve certainly looked better,” The soft look in Nina���s eyes making something inside of Brock crack, his need for comfort suddenly overwhelming.

“And hello to you, Nina,” Brock’s voice croaked as he walked towards her to get one of those perfect bear hugs that only she could give.

“Ew, Jesus. You smell like death, sex and liquor.” But she only hugged him tighter, maybe she could feel him shaking a bit, or just knew that he needed human contact that was not conditioned on it being sexual or temporary.

Tears sprang to his eyes. The events of the last few weeks finally catching up to him. A sob was caught somewhere in his throat, but Nina heard it.

Hugging him harder.

Softly shushing him, but never pushing.

Just being there.

They stood like that for minutes.

Nina’s hand softly running up and down his back, waiting until Brock leaned back, breaking the hug, as he wiped underneath his eyes.

She could see him trying to get back the iciness of Brooke Lynn, but failing at that he sent her a small smile and went with distraction instead.

“How about that coffee, huh?” He walked over to the table and took a long sip of coffee, feeling himself become less of a disaster and more human with every second.

“B… you need to figure shit out.” The sigh From

“You bought croissants, you babe!” Brock didn’t even have to fake his enthusiasm, as he felt almost weak with hunger, plus the idea of a flaky piece of french pastry seemed like the best idea right about now.

“You guys need to have an honest conversation.” He could hear that Nina had found her way to the couch, sitting down as she got ready to give him a Real Talk™

“Honestly, thank you. I haven’t had anything to eat since lunch yesterday, so really. Thanks!” He tried one last attempt at misdirection, hoping that Nina would take pity on his hungover body.

“Brock. Come on,” He turned around and walked over to the couch, with the paper bag and coffee.

“What is this, Nina? An intervention brunch? Have you given me croissants of lies?” He tried to keep a straight face, but seeing those big eyes filled with a mixture of mirth and worry, made him chuckle softly.

“Did it work?” She bumped her shoulder into Brocks, smiling softly, “Honestly, you are wasting away. You’ve lost weight, you look like you aren’t sleeping and Jesus, Brock. The alcohol?”

“I know,” He couldn’t look her in the eye. Knowing that he had promised her to take it down a notch.

Knowing that he had done no such thing.

“Okay. That’s the first step, but the question is, are you going to do anything about it? It hurts my heart to see you like this.” A hand covered his own.

Softly squeezing it.

“I just… I’m not ready for him to leave me.” His voice was small, his throat tightening as the thought of putting an end to this made his body clench in actual pain.

“He might not,”

“Oh, he will. Last night I thought we might have moved forward, it felt different. But then he left during the night, and I get it. I wouldn’t want my anxiety-riddled-entitled-bony ass either. But I want him…” He trailed off, not sure if he wanted to say it out loud, but knowing that he needed to at least voice his feelings to one other person “I… I fucking love him.” The pain in his body grew as he felt a lump grow in his throat.

He was not going to cry again.

“I know.” Nina’s thumb softly massaged the back of his hand, trying to convey some form of comfort. “But you’re being too hard on yourself. I know you think he spins gold with his ranting words and light up every single room he walks backwards into. Sure, It’s Miss Vanjie, it’s José, But Brock, you are not worth nothing. No, look at me!”

Brock finally looked up, seeing nothing but love and understanding in Nina’s eyes.

“You are passionate and loving and our current fucking reigning. If he doesn’t want to get with you, well good riddance,” There was a fire in her eyes, and Brock felt so lucky to have her in his life.

But.

“But I-” How could he make Nina understand that he was so scared of that exact possibility. That the idea of José not wanting him back was too painful, too real and too probably.

“No buts. Seriously. Talk. To. Him!”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Last time they had been in an elevator together they had almost ended up just having sex in there.

This time was different.

This time it was awkward.

It was complete happenstance, that they had both ended up on this exact ride. Both of them seemed to almost vibrate with nervous energy as the numbers on the display slowly decreased.

“Righ-”

“So-”

“Oh, you go-

“No, you”

They both turned to look at each other, softly chuckling.

Both trying to make the other start talking, none of them wanting to be the first one to say the words. Brock felt nauseous as if he was going to throw up any second, the nervous energy inside the tiny metal cage travelling downwards doing nothing to calm his anxiety.

“So. The others be arriving today,” José almost spat out the sentence, needing there to be some kind of talking.

“Yeah, I am reall-”

“Let’s end this, Mami.”

Brock’s heart burst into a thousand pieces.

“I… If that’s what you want?” He felt completely removed from his body, as he heard himself answer calmly and softly.

As if his heart hadn’t stopped working.

His eyes were burning, but he blinked hard.

Forcing himself to be calm.

He could cry later. Now was not the time.

“I just don’t need this to screw with the gig ya know?” José seemed completely unaware of the destruction he had just wrecked on Brock. Smiling softly at him, as he gave his explanation.

“No, Yeah. I… I get it. It’s fine,” He hoped that his acting skills were more convincing here than they had been on the show.

If this was what José wanted, then Brock just had to endure and accept it.

Even if it killed ihim

With a ding, the elevator doors opened and José was the first one to step out, seemingly in a hurry.

“Imma see you there, hoe!” He called after him, not looking back as almost ran out into the lobby.

Brock was frozen in the elevator. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.

The doors closed before he managed to make his body respond to him.

I knew he would leave.

I knew it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: ? Janis: Save you the details, want to brain my sister as per Janis: but I need to ask you for a huge favour on her behalf Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: hang on, let 'em play for a sec Jimmy: ... Jimmy: alright, go on Janis: 😑 Janis: don't you start Janis: well she's got a date that she doesn't want to go on, but is gonna 'cos it'll piss Mia off/potentially show her up Janis: aware this is like a bad, really bad, teen drama-edy but hold on Janis: but like she really doesn't want to go 'cos she's her and he sounds like a twat tbf so she wants to double-date it Janis: which, undeniably, would piss Mia off more so bonus if we can deal being around her Janis: we don't have to stay ages, do it for the 'gram and bounce, old skool Jimmy: 1. I was only taking the piss out of her, calm down Jimmy: 2. this is bollocks but I heard you at piss Mia off Jimmy: 3. where & when? Janis: 1. this is how she's got me rn soz like tread carefully boy 🐍 Janis: 2. I know Janis: 3. [Place and time] Janis: Don't worry, I'm paying if he don't offer, he's some posh kid Mia wants on/has been on, apparently Jimmy: I dunno where that place is but it sounds fancy as shit Jimmy: outfit crisis like Janis: Am I gonna have to talk you down in the changing room too, like Janis: well I've been instructed to look 🔥 so she's either #over you or trusts you to bring it, which is rude Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: calm me down in there if you wanna Jimmy: that'd be hot Jimmy: I always look 🔥 & this whole town knows it babe 👌 Janis: Might make shopping bearable, give you that Janis: 😏 Don't disagree Jimmy: let's go shopping then Janis: Easily persuaded, you 😂 Jimmy: you don't wanna? sounds fake Janis: Didn't say that Janis: Called you easy, little bit Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Awh baby Janis: so mean to you Jimmy: 😭 me Jimmy: enjoy your lattes everyone, nowt to see Janis: Such a 💔 mental image Janis: hope Pete is there to comfort you Janis: that's a sexy one Jimmy: your shout for 💔 'cause your boyfriend ain't in today Janis: Nooooooo Janis: won't bother coming in now Janis: what's the point Jimmy: I knew that's why you weren't rushing Jimmy: obvious you Janis: You know Janis: 'til I get his number, gotta keep you sweet Jimmy: keep me sweet enough I'll give you it Janis: How sweet is that then? Jimmy: I'd have to find where the manager's left everyone's contact details Jimmy: least a few sugars Janis: 😏 keep it in mind Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let me know Janis: bit mad you couldn't even pretend you're having a torrid affair with him but still like ya Jimmy: bit mad you want me to instead of being jealous but still like you too Jimmy: suppose Janis: I can be jealous Janis: jealous and aroused Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll keep it in mind Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: what are you up to actually Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: what are you doing? Jimmy: other than plotting Gracie's murder Janis: Literally that's all I've got done today thanks to her 😑 Janis: one minute I'm helping her find outfits, the next she's telling me to fuck off basically Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: must be catching Jimmy: Cass is in a right strop Janis: Cass no, don't let the side down Janis: you know why or just 'cos? Jimmy: the prospect of family dinner ain't got none of us full of the joys Jimmy: but I reckon she's mostly bored Jimmy: she ain't done nowt this hol really 'cause I'm always working & leaving her to look after Bobs Janis: Yeah, makes sense Janis: You Dad needs to find a proper childminder, like Jimmy: she used to be out with her mates loads before Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: can't be the dickhead arranging playdates for a 12 year old Janis: Well, Grace did say she'd babysit for you as thanks Janis: so if she met Bobs and he wasn't completely terrified of her Janis: Cass could go out for a bit, do her own thing Jimmy: that'd be decent Janis: I could also go round there, more reg like, take him and Twix out to the park Janis: even if it's like an hour, better than nothing, right? Janis: not like your Dad is there to nope it so Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: actually Jimmy: You're just Janis: It's no big, you're the one actually working Jimmy: yeah but they ain't your siblings Jimmy: only your 🐶 Janis: Yeah but you know, they're alright, as are you Janis: it's only for the rest of the hols anyways Jimmy: steady on, gonna make me fall in love with you Janis: 😏 idiot Jimmy: I put a spare key out so you can go whenever you want Jimmy: Cass has lost 'bout 4 since we've been here Jimmy: reckon she only does it to piss my dad off Janis: Feel it Janis: he deserves it Jimmy: probably in the bin or summat Jimmy: find 'em all under her pillow Janis: making a statement necklace Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she does usually wear it round, well spotted Janis: I 👀 all Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: I better stop making eyes at the customers then Janis: How else you gon' get tips Jimmy: #where'sthejealousy? Jimmy: get yourself a girlfriend who don't give a shit, lads Janis: what you want me to be jealous for so bad? Jimmy: I'm just pissing about, Janet Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Likely story Jimmy: I miss you, there's one Janis: I miss you too Janis: and if you've been flirting with any old ladies Imma flip shit okay Jimmy: let's say I have 'cause I wanna see you fuck shit up at the CG Jimmy: & just see you Jimmy: so 👵💕 Janis: 😡😡😡 Janis: catch these hands deidra you old hussy Janis: get your own man Jimmy: have a heart babe he died in WWII Janis: probs look just like him Janis: least the dementia telling her so Jimmy: it's 'cause I'm so 💪 Jimmy: & got all them medals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: for being a prize dickhead, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Janis: don't act all devvo with me now, playing hero all afternoon Jimmy: come see me I'm so bored Janis: Have you saved up a break or nah Janis: real jealousy over them 🚬s Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & I finish soon Jimmy: we can go shopping Janis: Yeah? Janis: Okay then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: maybe I'll find something to cheer Cass up while we're there Janis: You're so nice Jimmy: nah, she's a good kid Jimmy: didn't ask for nowt of this Janis: Yeah Janis: none of yous did Janis: so you're still nice Jimmy: more my fault than hers that we moved Jimmy: wedding crashing & baby daddy drama, remember? 🙄 Jimmy: to hear my dad tell it like Janis: Yeah but that's like Janis: not actual is it Jimmy: don't stop him Jimmy: he'd have to take some blame then Janis: Heaven forbid Janis: My parents always act like they're blaming themselves but they just do it so people disagree Janis: dead sly Jimmy: sounds like when all your sister's mates say how much weight they've put on so the others will rush to say nah Jimmy: you ain't Tammy you're gorg babes! Janis: Literally 🙄 Janis: I hate that shit Janis: but I'm up myself for at least owning it and not forcing everyone into the pantomime okay Jimmy: I always wanna be like maybe don't order a croissant then, babes, but #tips so Janis: 😂 Janis: You're such a dick Janis: I love it, never change Jimmy: least your sister never eats owt Jimmy: even Mia orders shit to stare at Janis: they're all idiots Janis: just in different ways Jimmy: yeah, I got that Jimmy: probably spent more time with 'em these hols than you've ever had to Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: half of 'em are named after countries or colours Jimmy: ?? Janis: Basic from birth Janis: destined to be each other's shitty friend Jimmy: my dad did me that one decent shout Jimmy: tah, Ian Janis: 😂 Janis: Your name suits you Jimmy: hang on, what's yours again? Jimmy: gimme a sec & I can return the compliment Jimmy: Juliet, yeah? Very real Janis: Ha ha 🖕 Janis: It's an old woman's name so you should love it Jimmy: I knew I liked you for SOME reason Jimmy: there it is Janis: Your perviness never letting you down freak Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: so romantic, babe Janis: That ain't why you're with me Jimmy: yeah it is, last of the greats, remember? Jimmy: twitter agreed Janis: How could I forget Janis: sent me my first nude awh 💕 Jimmy: did you want it then though? Janis: You were hot, wasn't gonna say no Janis: that fake sext was 🔥 Jimmy: I'm an artistic Jimmy: boy Janis: Yep, totally focused on your talent, boy Jimmy: I wanted to impress you Jimmy: for real Janis: 😊 Janis: Well, you did Janis: for real Jimmy: alright, good Janis: You know EVERY bitch was thirsting after you then why wouldn't I? Jimmy: I've told you before, you ain't like 'em Jimmy: & you could kiss me how you did & just walk away Jimmy: so Janis: Sorry to disappoint but you looked good Janis: and it was funny Janis: and you actually did it Janis: so Jimmy: I always look good, am funny & accept challenges Janis: Go out with me then Jimmy: I'll think 'bout it Jimmy: remind me who you are Janis: 💔 Janis: so harsh Jimmy: you want me to be kind, baby? Janis: yes Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: I'll be so kind Janis: 😍 Janis: Am I mean Jimmy: not to me Jimmy: I dunno how you're chatting to everyone else Janis: oh, exactly like this Janis: my technique Jimmy: nah then, you're 👌 Janis: 😏 Good good Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: why? Janis: Grace reckons I'm basically Hitler Stalin and Pol Pot in one Janis: if she knew who the last two were Jimmy: she's friends with Mia her judgement's for shit Janis: True Jimmy: do you reckon you're mean to her? Janis: No Janis: Unless I intend to Janis: she just overreacts Jimmy was timed out 4 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 4 days ago Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: Yeah, you're right Janis: only doing this to piss off Mia Jimmy: #same Jimmy: & for the free babysitting 👌 Janis: 👍 too right Janis: cash that in whenever Janis: she thinks Bobby is cute Janis: hopefully a good thing, not a 🚩 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I know I ain't interested girl but you can the bar a bit higher Jimmy: aim* Janis: Under 13 is honestly not a #mood babes Jimmy: more about the over 50s but go on, like Janis: 😂 different strokes, I guess Janis: how non-shamey was that Jimmy: decent use of the word strokes Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: 🙇 Janis: I try Janis: 'til I get grey hair how else am I keeping you interested Jimmy: get to the hair salon, rich girl Janis: 😏 get a Brazilian blowout whilst I'm there Jimmy: I can't even fake 👍 Jimmy: stop Janis: I'm surprised you know what that is Janis: 100% sit with my sister and co and bitch about me, confirmed Jimmy: I don't but the threat was clear Janis: You're cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: but I like you Jimmy: & what the fuck is it then? Janis: not 100% what is Brazilian about it but Gracie comes out looking like a show pony Jimmy: not very beachy or hot weather appropriate but alright Jimmy: but not alright, nah Jimmy: don't Janis: it takes hours Janis: fat chance Janis: can think of better things to do Jimmy: if you ever can't, call me Jimmy: I can think of loads Janis: Good to know Janis: knew there was a reason I was dating you, like Jimmy: #formybrain Janis: Yep Janis: first thing I noticed 'bout you Jimmy: I get that a lot Jimmy: not right now though Jimmy: I'm so tired Janis: 😔 Janis: not a store room you can nap in Jimmy: ☕ shop, mate Jimmy: easy fix Janis: 🤢 Janis: you're gonna need to go 🚬 'fore you kiss me then Jimmy: demanding you Jimmy: but yeah it is 🤢 Janis: You're somehow just finding out? Okay Jimmy: piss off Janis: Just sayin' don't go spreading that around, you're meant to know exactly how demanding I am by now, Christ Janis: not that frigid Jimmy: I'm just saying piss off Janis: ? okay Jimmy: you're Janis: hello? Janis: 😴? Jimmy: I'm alive, no tah to you Jimmy: gimme more mental images of how demanding you are & finish the job like Janis: Ahh 😏 Janis: Nah, leave you wondering and hanging on Janis: bitch like that Jimmy: why I hate you so much Janis: I know Janis: Makes it more fun Jimmy: what happened to wanting me to be kind? Jimmy: fickle you Janis: 🤷 Janis: trying to keep you awake and on your toes, boy Janis: manager can thank me Jimmy: I'd rather do it Jimmy: Unless you're 😍 for him now too Jimmy: love a man of mystery, yeah Janis: 😂 yeah, you're too familiar now Janis: gotta go Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what the fuck are we gonna do on this double date? Jimmy: never done one Janis: Me either, oddly enough Janis: I hope she'd have picked someone else if it was a keys in the middle situation Janis: but maybe not, omg Janis: she's conned us Jimmy: Mia would pop up from behind a plant or summat Jimmy: lunge for you Jimmy: in a sexy/threatening way Janis: 😬 Janis: we gotta cancel rn immediately Jimmy: #cancelher Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Babe don't let her get me Jimmy: not gonna 💪 Jimmy: such a hero like that Janis: I won't let Grace wifeswap you Janis: not until I've 👀 this dickhead anyway Jimmy: tah Jimmy: like I said, them brazilian hair bollocks are doing nowt for me Jimmy: she'd end up disappointed Janis: 💔 Janis: don't need her pity so nah, not happening Jimmy: I'd have to hit up that look but don't touch girl for tips Jimmy: can't remember her name so Jimmy: just the weak ankles Janis: who Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: who's this lad then? big spender but what else? Janis: 🤷 Janis: Goes to a School Mia wishes but too thick that even money can't, appaz Janis: not white, I think she said Janis: ego Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: this is gonna be a right laugh, isn't it? Janis: You ain't gotta ride him Janis: we'll have a drink and go Janis: might be enough of a dick that is a laugh tho so Jimmy: if I have to watch your sister try I know that's a laugh Jimmy: seen it before Jimmy: her flirting is 🥇 Janis: 🙄 Don't remind me Jimmy: show 'em how it's done babe Jimmy: fancy places always have hot waiters Janis: Livin' for the dramatics always, you Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: #artist Jimmy: gotta suffer for that 🎨 Janis: use your 😥 to paint out that pain Jimmy: use my 😭 Janis: No half-measures Janis: I know, babe Jimmy: pete ain't here, you're gonna be off fucking the waiting staff Jimmy: I mean Jimmy: just 💔 Janis: Well we're all devestated about Pete, first of all Janis: where is he, what does he do with his free time Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: he's in a band 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna drunk dial Barry, see if we can't hug it out Janis: OH BITCH Janis: really withholding that info from me weren't ya Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 100% the bassist Jimmy: he is yeah Jimmy: I've been on his insta 'cause that loved up like Janis: So hot Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: Even though I'm mad you're tryna keep him all to yourself Janis: dickhead Jimmy: first come first serve, Janet Jimmy: I saw him way before you Janis: Yeah but I really SEE him, you know? Janis: we've got a connection Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Groupie mode activated Janis: bet they're SO good Jimmy: [sends his like soundcloud or whatever people use idk 'cause obvs linked to the insta] Jimmy: 👍👍👍👍👍 Janis: Come thru, you stalker Jimmy: told you 😍😍😍 Jimmy: step your game up, Judy Janis: in stalking or being your actual bae Janis: #therealquestionsnogirlshouldhavetoask Jimmy: you don't have to ask it Jimmy: bit nosy you Jimmy: #stillnotadecentstalkerthough Janis: Not allowed to ask questions now Janis: that's your bit not mine anyways Jimmy: #stayinyourlane Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: I'll stay home then 👌 Jimmy: nah you won't Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know you've already left Janis: I could probably find Gracie Janis: follow the sobs Jimmy: go on Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: shut up Janis: be nice Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Janis: No, just love me Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want you, how's that? Janis: Works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't had no ☕ so we can make it work Janis: You should've Janis: not that mad really Jimmy: got a sudden rush on Jimmy: no time Jimmy: fuck you Pete Janis: Ugh Janis: fuck off people Jimmy: still had time to scroll though Jimmy: Pete's got a bird I reckon 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so mad 'bout it Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: Why are you trying to hurt me so bad Jimmy: 'cause I feel it too, babe Janis: I feel like all my dreams are dead Janis: crying on this bus Jimmy: tweet that at him Jimmy: he can use it for a lyric Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: hi, we've not properly met but 💔 Jimmy: he'd love it Janis: Enough to chuck the gf orrr Janis: I ain't bothering otherwise Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: Awh, thanks babes 😘 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: love you 💕 Janis: love you too 💕 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: back in the #friendzone Jimmy: I get it, you've seen an in with your true love, get on it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #wheresthejealousy? Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍 Jimmy: who am I fighting though? Pete ain't in Janis: Take it out on me for now Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Not saying you gotta remind me who's name to say but you know Janis: can't hurt, babe Jimmy: like I said, stay in your lane Jimmy: that's my shout Janis: 😂 Janis: Good thing you're #unforgettable Jimmy: are you hungry 'cause I am Janis: oh baby 🤤 Janis: but nah Janis: could eat Jimmy: nah you have to really want it Jimmy: the food here ain't worth a maybe Jimmy: starving or don't bother Janis: watch you eat then Janis: #creeper Jimmy: sexy Janis: Believe it Janis: watch you sleep later Jimmy: this is why you're last of the great romantics, love Janis: you're so 🍀 Jimmy: hang on, let me tweet it Jimmy: let the fans know Janis: gotta make the most of the ban lift Jimmy: that better not be a challenge, girl Janis: such a slag Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Jus' sayin' Janis: save a lil something just for me, yeah? 💔 Jimmy: there's the jealousy Jimmy: we found it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: it's all for you, girl Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: you on your way to make me? Jimmy: 'cause til then nah Janis: Such a talker Janis: never take a break, you Jimmy: you love it though Janis: You reckon? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: all 'bout the noises you Janis: 😳 Janis: Don't be chatting that when you ain't here to back it up Jimmy: I will when you get here Jimmy: so come on Janis: can't blame me for being slow Janis: I ain't running and I ain't the driver so Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell whoever is to get a move on Jimmy: #medicalemergency Janis: Sadly not our bus driver bestie Janis: he'd understand Janis: be gutted it's me not you but you know Jimmy: he liked you too Jimmy: I'm just 🥇 after the latest ride Janis: thanks for the pep talk, babe Janis: so supportive Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & always ready with a challenge Janis: I reckon I know what you're thinking Jimmy: ? Jimmy: go on Janis: Doesn't take a genius to work out you want me to go for your title 🥇 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: save it for when our #1 fan is there though Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're actually in love with him Janis: 💔 Jimmy: he's a bit young for me Jimmy: but a decent Barry rebound I reckon Janis: Giving blowies for lifts, told ya Janis: with how cheap bus is, bit shaming but okay, have a nice life Jimmy: cheap for you, rich girl Jimmy: you gonna throw money 'round on this date, show this lad up? Janis: 😏😂 Janis: I don't know if I'm allowed to Janis: gonna need her to clarify what her actual plan here is Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you do what she tells you now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: you wanna re-write that sentence then? Janis: If the goal is to piss off Mia, idk if that'll help us achieve said goal Janis: there Janis: pedantic Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Gonna be that couple are we Janis: having a row and making the other people wanna die Jimmy: Are we? Janis: keep 🙄 and we'll see Jimmy: keep telling me what to do & we'll see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not 😍 for that Janis: noted Jimmy: unless it's like shhh go to sleep Jimmy: or summat Janis: You don't need to be told sleepyhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but nah I'm fighting it 💪🏆 Janis: sure you wanna go shopping and not snoozing? Jimmy: don't you wanna go? Janis: happy just to see you, darling Janis: seriously, whatever Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cass' potential mood upswing depends on it so Jimmy: we gotta Janis: Oh duh, forgot already Janis: your fault for being distracting Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haven't even been on twitter Jimmy: sort yourself out, Jenna Janis: Fine Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll get back to work then Janis: *is ignoring you shh* Jimmy: ☕☕🍪🥐☕ Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: Such a pervert Jimmy: I'm so busy I can't reply soz Jimmy: 👴💋 Janis: Hate you so much Jimmy: I hate you too, babe Janis: 😏 you ain't even funny Jimmy: I am Jimmy: you're good at faking but not that good Janis: Fine, give you that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: if that's all you're gonna gimme, guess I'll take it Janis: Let your old biddy customers tell you how handsome you are Jimmy: they are Jimmy: can barely hear my phone going Janis: must be being polite today too Janis: working for those tips Jimmy: they're polite so I don't have to be Jimmy: #blessed Janis: dickhead Jimmy: & you love it Janis: nice to know you're not a total arselick, yeah Janis: couldn't even fake date that Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: I'll pass on to my manager that he's out of the running Janis: I assume he's the chubby guy, mid 30s Janis: who I've literally seen once Jimmy: yeah, that's the one Janis: Thought so Janis: was already out of the running Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: gutted mate Jimmy: he'll be crying in the back when he realises Janis: Shoulda thought've that before he shouted at my mans in front of customers Janis: poor Pete Jimmy: that's why he's really off Jimmy: can't bear to show his face like Janis: So mad Jimmy: he'll write a decent song 'bout it Jimmy: be alright Janis: gf will console him Janis: I'll make an anon complaint about the manager like the unsung hero I am Jimmy: coming up 🌹s Jimmy: top one, pete Jimmy: proud of him Janis: you can't be proud of him he's older than you Jimmy: how's that work? Janis: you're a child Janis: he's a manly man Janis: that's how that works Jimmy: piss off am I or is he Jimmy: sounds faker than you've ever Janis: 😂 Janis: deal with it, boy Jimmy: deal with me Jimmy: girl Jimmy: I'm a better man than any Jimmy: including your true love Janis: Hot Jimmy: it will be when I prove it Janis: I was joking but now I'm Jimmy: I'll show you I'm not Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: Just Janis: you're killing me here Jimmy: I'll make it better Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: lowkey ages Janis: feels it Janis: still going 'round the houses here Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext like he did way back when] Jimmy: I reckon you should have something to read Jimmy: & think about Janis: I Janis: have you ever thought of doing that as a living Janis: you could Janis: way easier than slinging coffees probably Jimmy: maybe now I've got such a top muse Jimmy: you really inspire me Jimmy: [sends another one 'cause extra] Janis: Actually dead Janis: I did warn you Janis: Fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: it backfired, I was trying to keep you going til I can do everything I wrote down Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Everything, yeah? Jimmy: that was the plan but it's too late now Jimmy: gotta call Barry & see if he'll be my date to the funeral Jimmy: look so good in black he'll have to say yeah Janis: You're so mean Janis: don't talk about him right now Jimmy: what do you wanna talk about? Janis: You Janis: and me Jimmy: go on Janis: It's stupid how much I miss you when you ain't around Janis: touching you and kissing you Janis: all of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I want you so much Jimmy: all the time Jimmy: I don't feel stupid Jimmy: I feel Janis: I feel it too Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: 'cause it's good Jimmy: you're Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you make me feel really good, you know Janis: good Janis: that's what i wanna do Jimmy: anything else? Janis: i mean Janis: lots of things can fall under what makes you feel good so Janis: not really Jimmy: chat to me 'bout them Jimmy: drown out these customers for me Jimmy was timed out 30 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 26 hours ago Janis: All I can think about is how badly I wanna be alone with you in a changing room right now Jimmy: I'm thinking of places we can be alone here too, don't worry Jimmy: resourceful like that Janis: Man of many talents Jimmy: there's more privacy in this place than you'd think Jimmy: especially when your man Pete the only other smoker ain't here Janis: Why you been holding out on me Jimmy: blame your boyfriend, he's always on shift Jimmy: & I only just found out the disabled toilet gets so little use it's used as a cleaning supply cupboard Jimmy: must have better taste in coffee Janis: I intend to, add it to my list of grievances with him Janis: Clearly Janis: interesting Jimmy: you're gonna be over the character limit on these tweets, babe Jimmy: get typing Jimmy: the customer toilets are well nicer than ours, write an anon complaint 'bout that tah Janis: Got a lot to say Janis: you gonna let be vent to you? Jimmy: like I'm always saying, so chatty you Jimmy: but I've also said you can say what you want, loads of times so Jimmy: keep up, Jill Janis: You've also called me a horny mute enough times to give a bitch a complex so Janis: challenging that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 poor lass Jimmy: challenge accepted, if you're frustrated enough to need to vent, take 'em out on me Janis: 💔💔💔 so mean Janis: it is your fault, like Jimmy: it is Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: use your boyfriend Janis: Jesus Janis: I Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I want you to Janis: How are you so Janis: it's rude Jimmy: I've missed you Jimmy: is the answer Janis: I wish you didn't have to work all the time Janis: but it's good that you do or you'd be sick of the sight of me if I could see you as much as I want Jimmy: nah I wouldn't Jimmy: you're 🥇 remember Janis: You're gonna fuck me at School, yeah? Janis: I can't handle being around you all day and not at least kissing you Jimmy: if we have to be there then I have to Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: we'll find somewhere Janis: Loads of the lads chat like they have, probably bullshit for the most part but gotta be doable Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: I told you before, I'll get in trouble for you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: I really like you Janis: you're fun Jimmy: you Jimmy: but I won't spread it 'bout & ruin your 💪 rep Janis: Cheers 👍 Janis: my rep is so important, obvs Janis: so many friends and fans, so little time Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: just make time for me & it's alright Janis: you're the only one I want Jimmy: make me believe it when you get here Janis: you're gonna have no choice but to Janis: trust Jimmy: such a romantic Janis: don't take the piss, boy Janis: #medicalemergency remember Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: I already told you, you make me feel so good Jimmy: it's that's not #romance I don't want it Janis: Good Janis: don't be dumping me for some lovey-dovey bitch yet Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: too many grandmas to choose from Jimmy: I need time Janis: take your time Janis: as much as you need Janis: then some Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: wish you weren't right now Jimmy: REALLY need that break Janis: we're 5 minutes now Janis: unless any more of your faves decide to chat on their way off Jimmy: unless they wanna fall out with me Jimmy: better not Janis: 😂 let it be known Janis: oi sandra, better get a wriggle on Jimmy: Doris, leave it out Jimmy: put 'em all on blast Janis: must really like me 😏 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: must do Janis: 'cos you know I ain't gonna tip you as good Janis: how the rich stay rich Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: oh rich girl! 💔 bit rude but I can't say I'm surprised Jimmy: there's the real tip Jimmy: spend wisely Jimmy: you gonna need all your wealth to flex on this double date Janis: Obviously Janis: can't have him 💪 all over us Janis: clearly insufferable enough without that Jimmy: you gonna meet me 'round the back then? since you're slumming Jimmy: or you wanna flex on some 👵👴 too first? Janis: You know I gotta 👀 the competition Jimmy: doesn't exist, baby Jimmy: so just check me out & let's go Janis: that's right, tell me what I wanna hear Jimmy: I'd rather give you what you need but if you're 5 minutes away I guess we can talk a bit Janis: I know, such a hardship for me too Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: take that out on Doris & Bill 🥊 Janis: No, you Janis: I'm not the one who acts inappropriate with oldies Jimmy: only got your word for that Janis: 😑 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [more time passes than is usual] Janis: I'm getting off the bus Janis: you alright? Jimmy: rare appearance from your spurned love interest Jimmy: gonna make this more fun Janis: Which one? Jimmy: what did you call him, a chubby 30 year old? Jimmy: time to put on a show, girl Jimmy: let's see how 'down with the kids' he really wants to be Janis: I believe I was generous and gave him mid-30s Janis: which is when we find out he's 26 and the receding hairline is genetic, thanks Janis: chose a time to give a shit 🙄 but down for the challenge, obviously 🥇 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell me what I wanna hear, babe Jimmy: NEED to hear, like Janis: I'm outside Jimmy: come in then Jimmy: say hello Janis: No more talking, yeah Jimmy: I'm not refusing you Jimmy: not when you chat like that Jimmy: come inside Janis: Coming Jimmy: [really extra kiss as a hello obviously but not sorry everyone cos its hot af] Janis: Well Janis: he's not looking yeah Janis: you go first Jimmy: alright Jimmy: one sec Janis: Try and be less obvious, babe Jimmy: me? you Janis: I don't know what you're talking about Jimmy: hang on, I'll show you Jimmy: exactly what you did Janis: You can't Janis: show me anymore here Jimmy: [does 'cause challenge accepted this is why you're gonna get in trouble lad] Janis: Come on, Jimmy Janis: you need a smoke, yeah Janis: really bad Jimmy: desperately Jimmy: how did you know? Janis: Me too Janis: amongst other things Jimmy: [lights her 🚬 up but in a really sexy way thank you cos SEXUAL TENSION BITCH gotta make 'em wait longer cos I'm rude] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: no but Jimmy: ? Janis: You know what Janis: don't play innocent Jimmy: don't you Jimmy: come here Jimmy: get what you want Janis: [Does] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you take direction really well Jimmy: I thought it was only when you were faking Janis: Only when it's what I want Janis: but sure, we can pretend it was your idea, babe Jimmy: I don't want to pretend Jimmy: not right now Janis: Then get what you do want Jimmy: [does & it's everything he said he was gonna do in those hot sexts so damn] Janis: [After when she's got kicked out and he's getting fired, is ignoring] Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what happened Jimmy: he's #overit Jimmy: & sacking me Jimmy: now Janis: what Janis: nah Jimmy: put your ear to the door Jimmy: not gonna get a glowing reference when I show up to work for the competition Jimmy: bit rude Janis: obviously I've gone Janis: can you not like beg for another chance Jimmy: why? Jimmy: not my fucking dad, am I? Janis: Alright but Janis: it didn't need to happen, it was stupid Janis: I won't come in again, feel free to throw this all out Jimmy: neither will I Jimmy: hanging up my apron Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: only Pete's gonna be 💔💔💔 Janis: for getting you sacked, obviously Jimmy: you didn't Jimmy: I did everything he saw Jimmy: & we can use this Jimmy: not quite romeo & juliet levels but the fans will still be 'bout it Janis: Be serious Jimmy: I am Jimmy: think of a good # Janis: Think of how you're gonna deal with your Dad Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: school starts soon anyway Jimmy: I'll take less shifts at the next place Jimmy: & we sorted Cass' problem without having to buy her owt 👍 Janis: That's something Jimmy: it's decent so don't worry Jimmy: my dad'll lose his rag, gimme a smack, I'll do it better & that's that job done too Janis: you don't have to pretend it ain't a problem Janis: one you could do without Jimmy: it ain't yours Jimmy: you don't have to take it on Jimmy: 🤞 we give each other enough bruises to call off family dinner Jimmy: get out of that too Janis: it's fucked Jimmy: just make it look good for the audience Jimmy: I love you so much I risked it all Jimmy: that sorta bollocks Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Sure Jimmy: I'll handle my dad's tantrums Jimmy: not the 1st or last Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: come get the dog for me before he gets back? Janis: Okay Janis: am I bringing her back or starting a new life Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: I'm just hoping if you show up Cass'll forget about wanting front row & go with Jimmy: little lad's a given Janis: right Janis: do my best to be convincing Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: get pics to show how much you love me for getting the sack for you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what you wanna do fucking mope? Jimmy: get it together & do your bit Janis: piss off Jimmy: I literally just told you I don't care if I get in trouble for you Jimmy: so what's your issue? Janis: I care, dickhead Jimmy: then like I said, do your bit Jimmy: don't make it weird Janis: I am and I ain't Janis: God Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & say summat Janis: What do you want me to say Janis: I already did and you ain't listening Jimmy: I heard you, Jasmine Jimmy: but nowt matters Jimmy: it's just a job & it ain't mine now Janis: Fine Janis: shut up, I'm trying to put my shoes on Jimmy: you can't multitask any more? Jimmy: too 💔💔 'bout Pete Jimmy: you can go see him when you miss him, it's alright Janis: 😑 Janis: Jealous Janis: I didn't get sacked, I'm not changing my regular for you Jimmy: get him to make your smoothies Jimmy: let me know whose are better Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll try and remember Jimmy: calling his efforts forgettable before you've tasted 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you would think that Janis: you would think that Janis: ego Jimmy: you said it Jimmy: poor lad Janis: I repeat Janis: 😑 Janis: you know I meant Imma be too busy now you're out the way Jimmy: you mean you're gonna be too busy with me Janis: you reckon Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you said you didn't want me to work as much Jimmy: now I ain't Jimmy: nowt but time for you 💕 Janis: so I planned it, yeah Jimmy: should've Jimmy: but just a happy accident like my birth Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Miss you too Janis: No need now Janis: all that free time Jimmy: see, it's good news Janis: you ain't seen your Dad yet so Jimmy: I know how that's playing out Janis: he's literally going to kill me Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'd never let him Janis: even if you lie why it happened, he's gonna know Janis: or go down there and ask, even worse Jimmy: I'll say it was my other girlfriend Janis: maybe Janis: father son bonding moment Jimmy: shame you don't look more like twins I could drop Grace in it Jimmy: the manager has only seen you like twice though Jimmy: maybe Janis: Twice is enough Janis: gotta have seen her more and it's an insult to reckon even in passing you're making that mistake Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I can feel you making that face for real Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: Me? Janis: You be nice to me Jimmy: I am Jimmy: gonna protect you from my dickhead dad 💪 Janis: Shouldn't have to Jimmy: we saying this is all my fault now Jimmy: is that the story? Janis: No Janis: you don't listen Janis: it's mine, idiot Jimmy: you don't listen Jimmy: I told you, it's not Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: am I coming over right now or what Janis: yeah, I am Jimmy: It don't make you less of a diickhead Jimmy: you're still chatting shit Jimmy: stop Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's why you like me Janis: Mhmm Janis: not 'cos I'm fucked in the head or nothing Jimmy: piss off Janis: nah Jimmy: for fuck's sake Jimmy: just come over Janis: I am Jimmy: don't have to bring your 😍 but gutted 'bout the lack of enthusiasm Janis: What YOU chatting Janis: always 😍 to see Twix Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: she feels it Janis: I know Janis: chat all the time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: she'll be so 💔 I can walk her now Janis: Guard your shoes Janis: heads up Jimmy: tah Jimmy: can't afford to buy more 'cause of 🐶💔 Janis: don't Janis: feel bad enough, fuck's sake Jimmy: you Jimmy: I can't keep telling you it's not your fault Janis: then don't Janis: but literally would not have happened if I weren't there so Jimmy: I want you more than I want that shitty job, alright? Jimmy: so stop Janis: alright Janis: you can get another one easy Janis: yeah Jimmy: you've tasted my smoothies, you tell me Janis: that sounds weirdly filthy 😂 Jimmy: not an answer though Jimmy: I get it, you were faking liking 'em Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shh Janis: you know you're good Jimmy: I know it's hot when you say it Janis: really? you've not been deterred by manager simon or whatever the fuck literally staring open-mouthed like Jimmy: no Jimmy: & if that's your way of dumping me, bit rude Jimmy: coulda done it before he sacked me Janis: told you Janis: all part of my plan to get pete alone Janis: and single-handedly bring CG down, naturally Jimmy: should just go to one of his gigs Jimmy: you know there ain't nobody there but the band Janis: so bitter Janis: art about it, babe Jimmy: I will Jimmy: tah Janis: #muse 'til the end Janis: welcome Jimmy: really gonna miss you when you're Pete's groupie Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I prefer band wife Janis: but gotta start somewhere Janis: it's been real Jimmy: Barry come back Jimmy: the coast's clear & all is forgiven Janis: 😏 Janis: just don't let him impregnate you Jimmy: yeah one baby is enough Jimmy: really should've grabbed it from the CG before I left Janis: put a hat and apron on it it's your replacement sorted Jimmy: taught her everything she knows Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: a girl is it Jimmy: Barry only wants daughters he can warn blokes off of, he's that kinda dad Janis: creepy Janis: you 💕 him Jimmy: he's a decent rebound Jimmy: had the practice Janis: accidental or intentional shade Janis: either way fuck you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: calling my inexperienced Jimmy: nah Jimmy: calling him very experienced at being dumped and picking up dumpees Janis: Hmm Janis: ok Jimmy: & you aren't inexperienced anymore Jimmy: Pete will be 😍😍😍 Janis: no need to toot your own horn that hard either Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: do it for me then Janis: Pervert Janis: after that glowing review you ain't getting from CG, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: is that your word of the day? Jimmy: really getting full use Janis: if you wanna stop being one Janis: lemme know Jimmy: any time you wanna shut up, go on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: [bit] Janis: here Janis: bring out the dog/relevant kids Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: idk Janis: hope it's not the worst it could be Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't forget the pics, yeah Janis: I won't Jimmy: alright Janis: call me if you need Jimmy: dramatic Jimmy: call me if YOU need Jimmy: the kids are on one Janis: how is that dramatic Jimmy: I already said, I can handle my dad's tantrums Janis: well excuse me for caring Jimmy: just don't bring 'em back til I let you know Jimmy: if you care so much Janis: I won't Janis: I'm not stupid Jimmy: just me Jimmy: I got that Janis: No Jimmy: what? Janis: You aren't, alright Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you've been calling me an idiot non stop Janis: because I feel like one Janis: don't act like that doesn't make sense Jimmy: it makes sense that you're a dickhead Jimmy: come inside for a sec Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: just gimme one second Jimmy: & then you can go Janis: give me two Jimmy: alright Janis: [has to kiss him first do doesn't say it] Jimmy: [kisses her back really hard 'cause same & holds her 'cause comfort needed bitch] Janis: [Hugs for longer than should like bitch leave] Jimmy: you gotta go Jimmy: I can hear Twix losing it outside Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Janis: [kisses some more then leaves fr] Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: I just need to leave then you can bring 'em back Janis: okay Janis: go to mine? Jimmy: who's there? Janis: Us, currently but by the time you get there we won't Janis: wait for me in the barn Jimmy: okay Janis: do you need anything i can get on my way back Jimmy: just bring yourself Janis: okay Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: nowt I just Jimmy: tah for looking after 'em Janis: 'course Janis: no problem Jimmy: I don't have to give Cass a smack too, do I? Janis: Nah Janis: she was chatting to me when Bobby couldn't hear but she weren't letting on to him so Jimmy: I've text her so she knows Dad ain't murdered me Jimmy: not that there's a rug or owt missing, just me Janis: 👍 Janis: good Janis: gutted not to go true crime detective on it but Jimmy: you'd solve it too fast for it to be a laugh anyway Jimmy: too many clues Janis: true Janis: bit embarrassing, really Jimmy: can you get 🚬 actually? this pack is so light Jimmy: & get the kids 🍬 to soften the blow of not having my company for a bit Janis: my bad Janis: done and done Janis: not getting your Dad nothing Jimmy: he'll be 💔 Jimmy: needs a 🤕 Janis: nope Janis: stick a plaster on it and good luck Jimmy: brutal you Janis: He started it Jimmy: nah, I did Jimmy: losing me job Janis: so? not an excuse Janis: not like he's gotta retrain someone is it Jimmy: he don't need one Jimmy: any will do Janis: hate him Jimmy: #same Jimmy: not a couple brag for them 'gram but decent we've got that much in common Janis: obviously, soz Janis: your da, you actually have to deal with him Jimmy: I try not to Jimmy: got enough on Jimmy: don't let yours see me, yeah Janis: I won't Janis: promise Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I promise not to get blood on you Jimmy: maybe Janis: Jimmy Janis: how bad is it then Jimmy: nowt serious Jimmy: it's happened before so it does the next time, like Janis: I'll fix it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: feel better already me Janis: you will Janis: you know you can stay as long as you need to Jimmy: just not as long as I want Jimmy: Cass'd be fuming Janis: and you'd miss 'em Janis: come on Jimmy: let's move 'em in Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: living with a 6 year old going on toddler & 12 year old going on 22 Janis: Obviously Janis: save the teen pregnancy which has frankly been overdone in this fam so Janis: plenty of empty rooms if you can stand the cunts Jimmy: shame you can't bring Twix though that'd be helpful Janis: I know Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: anyone you know that doesn't have cats by the million? Janis: 'course Janis: my grandparents would take her Janis: can sort anything I can Jimmy: I wish you could Jimmy: for real Jimmy: It's all Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Jimmy: I don't want 'em to see me but I don't wanna just leave 'em with him Jimmy: ever Jimmy: that's not Janis: It's Janis: total catch 22 Janis: he wouldn't do anything like that to them though, yeah? Janis: not saying he's winning dad of the year in the meantime but Jimmy: but Cass is gonna be mad enough to say anything Jimmy: & Bobby's gonna be so scared Jimmy: when are they not Janis: what can we do, seriously Janis: is it gonna be worse if you go home with them Janis: like assumedly Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I just can't go back there right now Janis: You don't have to Janis: ask Cass to be extra nice to Bobby Janis: keep it together 'til you can go back Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's not fucking fair on her though Jimmy: nowt of it Jimmy: some hol this has been Janis: it ain't on you either Janis: that's on him though Janis: it can't even begin to be fair 'til he sorts his shit so Janis: she's old enough to know that Jimmy: I'm not 12 Jimmy: & it weren't like this for me when I was Jimmy: bad but not Janis: Shit's changed and that's out of your control Janis: the more you 'front like it ain't the more you put yourself in the firing line when it's meant to be him Jimmy: it's changed them so much & I Jimmy: someone's gotta take the hit for that Jimmy: he won't Janis: I get it Janis: like, not making it about me but I seriously do Janis: but they won't thank you for it, they'd rather you were at least a little bit fucking alright, you know Janis: they need you like that Jimmy: I'll be alright Jimmy: you're coming to fix me up Janis: Yeah Janis: we will work it out Jimmy: It's good that I met you Jimmy: best thing about being here Jimmy: only decent one maybe Janis: Competition ain't tough but Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the free medical attention coming my way has really elevated this whole girlfriend thing up one Jimmy: full shade to my ex for not coming through when she had her time Janis: Just don't start getting beat up for the attention, yeah Jimmy: with this face? Jimmy: it's my money maker, the rest of living ain't free, sweetheart Jimmy: good thing I don't have to work tomorrow, not looking pretty right now, sorry ladies Janis: You're so Janis: #sorrydorisyoumean Janis: better tell her you've moved so she can follow so you know it's real Jimmy: Pete's gonna have a 9-5 cleaning tables when the mass exodus happens Jimmy: sorry mate Jimmy: give him loads of time to work on his songs though Janis: all the 💔 will help him Janis: make him miss you even more but that's life, baby Jimmy: do you reckon Grace & her mates will believe I'm just on a really long break out back? Janis: 😂 Janis: would if you hadn't been dramatic on the 'gram Janis: their real hunting ground Jimmy: speak of 😈 Mia just liked it Janis: she's so bloody creepy Jimmy: did you see her latest selfie 💀 Jimmy: [sends it] Janis: 🦆 Jimmy: sorta impressive that your sister can find bollocks to comment Jimmy: that isn't like Jimmy: you look like death Janis: #tooreal for any of them Janis: especially Gracie Jimmy: at least her last selfie was alright Jimmy: I could chat shit on that if I had to Janis: go marry her then Jimmy: told you, you don't look alike enough Jimmy: can't be showing up like oops wrong one Janis: 😂 Janis: she would lock me in a cupboard she's got no shame Jimmy: insight into your childhood there? Jimmy: Harry Potter got nowt on you Janis: Yeah right Janis: too early for that shit Jimmy: it don't feel early to me Jimmy: this has been the longest fucking day Janis: You wanna hear my sad childhood stories then Janis: cheer you right up Jimmy: I'm out 🚬 Jimmy: gotta do summat Janis: Mysterious Jimmy: is it? Janis: What are you doing? Jimmy: walking Jimmy: 'cause you live in the middle of nowhere for some reason Janis: tell me about it Jimmy: have you dropped 'em off yet? Janis: in shop, picking their sweets Jimmy: soz Jimmy: you'll be ages Jimmy: it'll feel like a long day by then Janis: yeah Janis: realising Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: you can't Janis: you're a patient Jimmy: I'm bleeding but not to death Jimmy: plenty I can still do 💪 Janis: Shh, save your strength Janis: hard for me too, I know you're gonna look even hotter and it's just Jimmy: fuck your childhood stories, I'm learning shit here Janis: 😳 shut up that's a thing Jimmy: I'll shut up if you keep talking Jimmy: tell me again how hot I am Janis: you know you are Janis: you need me to tell you Jimmy: yeah Janis: I think you're probably the best-looking person I've ever seen in person Janis: people don't just look like that Jimmy: that's bollocks 'cause you look Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: beautiful, alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: I could look at you forever Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: I'll start when you get here Jimmy: you're gonna look at me 😒 when I tell you Janis: tell me what Jimmy: I think I took a wrong turn Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck I am Janis: oh babe Janis: I'll find you Janis: now going yours, finally Jimmy: 🍀 all looks the same Janis: Gonna have to track you Janis: be THAT girl just 'cos you're a liability Jimmy: we can say that's the reason, yeah Janis: Please Janis: if I want you I don't even need to whistle Jimmy: if you want me to piss off you don't have to unclip my lead either Jimmy: just say Janis: I don't Janis: but you can, if you want Jimmy: why would I be lost in the general direction of your house if I wanted that Janis: Just saying Janis: you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: shut up Janis: I just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: I just need you right now Jimmy: so Janis: you've got me then Jimmy: I want you too, you know Jimmy: It ain't just that I got nowhere to go Jimmy: I'd break into the CG before going somewhere I don't want Janis: You don't have to say it Janis: I was just being stupid Jimmy: You aren't Jimmy: & I want to Jimmy: just listen to me Janis: I am Jimmy: yeah we say that Janis: Tell me Janis: whatever you wanna Jimmy: I've never said owt I don't want Janis: Okay Janis: I believe you Janis: sometimes I forget what was fake and what's real Janis: it's all Janis: muddled in my head Jimmy: ask me Jimmy: whenever you wanna Janis: alright Janis: how come you're so sure though Jimmy: you saying I chat shit? bit rude Janis: No I mean Janis: how do you know what I mean and don't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: this could all be bollocks Janis: that don't bother you then Jimmy: you can't fake everything Jimmy: when you're with me I know how you feel Janis: Good Janis: I'm not trying to hide it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: everyone hides shit Jimmy: & chats it Janis: not you though, yeah? Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's loads of shit I haven't said but I'm not lying Jimmy: just not going that far back Janis: that's fine by me Janis: 'cos same Jimmy: don't worry then Jimmy: you know me better than anyone else Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: here anyway Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: I'm not going back so it counts Janis: oh right Janis: 👌 gotcha Janis: my fam would probably like to disagree but no one knows me either so Jimmy: sound more 💔 that you can't get rid of me, girl Jimmy: you should be happy, bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i'm glad i met you too Janis: it's just shit 'cos you don't wanna be here Janis: can't be selfish about it and buzzin', like Jimmy: I don't wanna be there either, not really Jimmy: I don't wanna be Jimmy: any of it Janis: yeah Jimmy: how do your parents get to decide for you how shit your life's gonna be & that's just Jimmy: how it is Janis: they just do Janis: must be in the fineprint for getting to be alive Janis: not arsed, too arsed, whatever, fucks you regardless Jimmy: I'm never having kids Jimmy: good thing I left that one in the CG Janis: same Janis: 'cos what kind of psycho wants the guilt, inversely Janis: like yeah, here's this kid I'm programmed to love no matter what and ahtever the fuck I do, they're gonna turn out fucked or hate me or Janis: nah Jimmy: guilt's good for my 🎨 but I'll be dried up by then Janis: so past it Janis: midlife crisis baby Janis: least women can't do that Jimmy: I feel like a dad of two already Jimmy: who fucking asked me Jimmy: & there's the dog Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Start paying the mortgage and you're fully a single parent Jimmy: with this CV? Jimmy: bollocks to it Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: thank fuck no one needs me Jimmy: let's just go out Jimmy: do summat other people in our year do Janis: cool Janis: puke on me and you're dead, idc how hot you are or how bad your injuries already might be Jimmy: you're the pisshead Jimmy: I can handle myself Janis: fuck off Janis: you chat shit on that, that's your thing Jimmy: what? Janis: You always say I'm drunk Janis: when I ain't Jimmy: I say it when you are Janis: 🙄😒 Janis: agree to disagree Jimmy: I like you when you're drunk Jimmy: & you're a cheap date so 👍 Janis: 😬 Janis: wanna be more creepy Jimmy: piss off you know what I mean Jimmy: you're less of a dickhead Jimmy: it's fun Jimmy: you like me more when you're drunk Janis: do I? Janis: better go get drunk then Jimmy: you have to wait for me or it ain't #goals Jimmy: & my injuries aren't gonna fix themselves yet Janis: you just hoping i got a uniform Jimmy: now I am Jimmy: but no clothes is also fine Jimmy: I'm easy-going like that Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos this is nhs service and you'll get what you're given and be thankful, boy Jimmy: I'll be very thankful Jimmy: you'll see Janis: don't be so Janis: we're meant to be going out Jimmy: we can be #fashionably late Janis: it's selfish but i want you so bad right now Jimmy: no complaints if that's what you're being selfish about Jimmy: actually is a #medicalemergency this time Jimmy: You need to make me feel better Janis: I'm going to forreal Janis: then I'll make you forget about everything that ain't feeling good and me Jimmy: It'll be a challenge Jimmy: it hurts, for real Janis: I know Janis: what's the actual damage you haven't said Jimmy: keeping it a surprise now 'cause you're so into it Jimmy: be a turn on for you Janis: don't make me sound like a psycho Janis: I don't like that you're hurt Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'm not being serious, baby Janis: don't try and sweet talk me now it'll 100% work and I'll be fuming Jimmy: be nice to me Jimmy: I wanna be nice to you Janis: it's my turn, if we're keeping score Jimmy: we're not Jimmy: for tonight we're just Jimmy: doing whatever we want Janis: then let me Janis: you need to relax, seriously Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'm agreeing 'cause I'm in pain not 'cause you're right Janis: 'course Janis: we can say that's the reason Jimmy: it's the reason Jimmy: don't be stealing my lines Janis: 😂 Janis: but they're so effective Janis: not annoying at all, yeah? Jimmy: THAT I do agree with Janis: Nerd Jimmy: bit rude Janis: it's easier than being as nice as I wanna Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'll shut up & make it so easy for you Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: that is nice Jimmy: I know Janis: fuck it, tell you when we're drunk Jimmy: you really can't tell me now? Jimmy: any of it Janis: I can tell you plenty you'd rather hear Jimmy: yeah? Janis: I'm gonna make you regret wanting to go out, that's how good it'll be Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: like I said, whatever we want Jimmy: if it's that good, I'll stay Janis: nah, we will Janis: plenty of ways to have a nice time Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: it'll gimme an excuse for why I'm covered in blood that's not my dad's a bellend Jimmy: #thecraic Janis: 😏 and you DON'T wanna encourage my psycho behaviour, sure Jimmy: do you wanna encourage me in cross dressing? 'cause unless you want me to wear your clothes I'm gonna look like a horror flick Janis: 🤔 Janis: no doubt it ain't really crossdressing with my wardrobe Janis: sad times, babes Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you're a girl, how many times we talking 'bout this Janis: glad you can tell Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: do me a solid and spread that around Jimmy: get on twitter with your nudes & save me the job Janis: not all as #cocky as you boy Jimmy: you've got every reason to be Jimmy: more Janis: it's different Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: not a serious suggestion Jimmy: not that much of an idiot Janis: you aren't shut up Janis: besides, not taking 🔥 nudes from the roadside for you or tiwtter am Janis: *I Jimmy: you could Jimmy: but don't get arrested Jimmy: can't use all my savings for bail Janis: exactly, too many #risks taken for one day Jimmy: or just the right amount Jimmy: so far Janis: shame Jimmy: that the manager caught us, I know Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the interruption was well rude Janis: yeah Janis: it was Janis: you were Jimmy: he could've let us finish if he was gonna sack me anyway Jimmy: but to be continued I suppose Janis: so spiteful Janis: what did i ever do to you simon Jimmy: you were so close Jimmy: he had to know that Jimmy: give us a minute, lad Janis: don't oversell it Jimmy: don't misremember it Janis: give me some credit Janis: 2 minutes, like Jimmy: I'd have given you loads more Jimmy: didn't wanna stop Janis: Babe Jimmy: ? Janis: you know Jimmy: say it anyway Janis: i'm so Janis: i just need to find you Jimmy: I need you to find me Jimmy: so go on Janis: I'm trying, what do you think I'm doing Jimmy: how do I know Jimmy: not tracking you Janis: 🙄 Janis: yes, i've decided to stop off for a quickie with pete first Janis: hold up Jimmy: distracted easy you Jimmy: also a heartbreaker Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's fault is that? Jimmy: mine & Pete's Jimmy: letting you Janis: if you had any idea how little interest i have in anyone else right now Janis: sad, really Jimmy: I don't feel sad Jimmy: neither do you Janis: not right now Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it not ever? Janis: don't Janis: don't be falling for anyone else yet Janis: i'm not ready Jimmy: you think I have any interest in anyone else myself? Jimmy: I just want you Janis: that's what i'm saying, keep it like that for a while yeah Jimmy: it is like that Jimmy: where do you think your competition is coming from? Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: shh Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you're Jimmy: there's loads of reasons I really like you Jimmy: even if you did get me sacked Janis: bastard 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the flashbacks alone are worth it Janis: i wasn't even Janis: it was all you Jimmy: you were Jimmy: you always are Jimmy: you reckon I was taking the piss out of you for being inexperienced before but you've known what you were doing since I met you Jimmy: you're just Janis: It's not like I'd done nothing it's just Janis: learning what you like Janis: what makes you cum Jimmy: & you're a fast learner Janis: 🙄 Janis: i'm not gonna tell you you're a good teacher Jimmy: either that or I'm a slag Jimmy: easy to turn on & get off Jimmy: either way is fine Janis: don't tell me if it's that Janis: live in ignorance Jimmy: my ex would tell you it's not Janis: some girls are just lazy Janis: expect it to be Jimmy: I didn't make it very easy for her Jimmy: in her defense Jimmy: any of it Jimmy: not just Janis: don't need to say Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I don't wanna fuck this up Jimmy: I'm not ready for that Janis: told you Janis: me either Jimmy: so don't let me Jimmy: I'm a dickhead but I really like you Jimmy: alright Janis: I know both of those things Janis: don't worry Jimmy: keep 'em in mind for a bit Janis: do my best Janis: you will be so distracting though Jimmy: not saying sorry Jimmy: where the fuck am I though? Jimmy: sorry 'bout that Janis: I am taking all possible missteps, find you eventually Jimmy: I have a headache but if you take that to mean that I don't want you to touch me when you do get to me, I'm dumping you Janis: please don't pass out seriously Janis: putting jokes of how dramatic you are aside 'cos I mean it Jimmy: I won't, I mean it, been here before Jimmy: physically but not geographically Janis: Baby Janis: can I kill him Janis: lil bit Jimmy: only if we do it together Jimmy: there's shit I wanna know from him first Janis: #couplegoals Janis: i get it Jimmy: it'll look worse than it is Jimmy: don't be weird about it Janis: I won't, I'm not inexperienced with blood thanks Jimmy: just Jimmy: I know you care Jimmy: but I'm alright Janis: I won't push it Janis: understood Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry Jimmy: why? Janis: for being weird Jimmy: name a day you weren't Jimmy: it's my top thing about you Janis: you must be weird too then Jimmy: do you think I am? Janis: well this feels like a trick question Jimmy: it's a yeah or nah one Janis: nah, such a normie, you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: a deeper cut than the one on my face Janis: I like you, that's all that matters Jimmy: you gonna show me how much when you find me Janis: try and stop me Jimmy: I'd rather not Jimmy: you said you'd help me relax if I let you Janis: I meant it Janis: doesn't mean self-control isn't gonna be hard for me Janis: but you need gentle Jimmy: you know I hate self control Jimmy: especially yours Janis: take it up with my manager Jimmy: Twix'll be sleeping Jimmy: had a hard day Janis: you too Janis: gotta get you like 😴 Jimmy: what are you on about? It's been great Jimmy: just thinking about earlier at the CG makes me so Janis: so what Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know Janis: so tell me Jimmy: you want me to tell you how turned on I am Jimmy: that I ache for you to come back & finish what we started Jimmy: & I can't breathe 'cause it feels like forever since you touched me Jimmy: but I can still feel it too Jimmy: every time I go there in my head Jimmy: I'm back in the moment & I just Janis: I think I Janis: holy shit Janis: I don't know what I think my head is Janis: you're all I can think about Janis: all the time Janis: and that's so much better than anything else I had to think on before because you're Jimmy: it's the same for me Jimmy: that blowjob you gave me, your first one, was my best one Jimmy: that shouldn't be a sentence I'm saying Jimmy: like you shouldn't be all I think about & want Janis: I can't be sorry Janis: I want to be your best everything Janis: I want you to want me Jimmy: then you've got what you want Janis: swear Jimmy: there's enough blood here for it Janis: good thing I do live middle of nowhere Janis: what would the neighbours say Jimmy: I saw some 🐮s and they were #shook Janis: #haters Jimmy: probably reckoned they were in the abattoir Jimmy: soz ladies Janis: usually the boys that Janis: only need the one Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: teaching me loads today Janis: return the favour Janis: said i'm not gonna say it but Jimmy: there's nowt I can teach you Jimmy: you're Jimmy: just take your row of medals & don't be too smug bout it Janis: okay then let me beat my own record Jimmy: any time Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I need to, I can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: tell me what's going on in your head Janis: I didn't think it'd feel that good, just giving but it was so Janis: I don't know why people complain I'd do that all day Janis: you looked so Jimmy: if you could see how you're making me look now Janis: I'm jealous of the 🐮s honestly Janis: you really are gorgeous and I felt so Jimmy: every time I reckon I can't want you more you chat things that prove me wrong Janis: I can't wait to see you Janis: not 'cos you're lost and bloody and defenseless and I'm a predator like that Jimmy: you kissed me like you were fucking off forever Jimmy: so I need to fix that Janis: well Janis: I planned to but I have the willpower and actual self-control of a fucking crackhead when it comes to you, apparently Jimmy: did you? Janis: bit ott not like gonna-jump-off-a-cliff forever but Janis: i felt really bad Janis: feel Janis: but you said it ain't my fault and i'm chosing to believe that Jimmy: fuck all of that but the last bit Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not wherever the fuck nowhere but Janis: with you Janis: i wanna Jimmy: then just do it Janis: okay Jimmy: you scared me, don't do that Janis: i didn't mean to Jimmy: you can take the dog but my dad would probably notice the others are missing eventually Jimmy: it's just a shit plan Janis: what about you Janis: can i take you Jimmy: where are we going? Janis: supposed to say it doesn't matter because i don't know Janis: anywhere Jimmy: I'd say it don't but I'd rather not come back here Jimmy: the cows are a bit Janis: bovine Jimmy: I don't know what the fuck that means Jimmy: but if it's weird not in the good way my girlfriend is, then yeah Janis: just means like a cow, tbh, like when someone's dead slow and unmoving, bit thick Janis: Mia 'cos she's puking up her brain cells at this point Jimmy: & that girl who follows her round the most Janis: big one? Jimmy: the other 💀 one Janis: ahh, yeah Janis: fucking herd Janis: gracie is just a stupid duckling that imprinted and thinks she's a cow whilst she's waddling after 'em like Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Pete could write a #sick song 'bout that Jimmy: hit him up Janis: ha Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: got shit on my shoe, gotta get the first tweet in Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: good luck getting signal Janis: i reckon i know where you are, work on how you're gonna chat him up for tix so i can sit her front row for the drag of the century tah Jimmy: #willthemiseryeverrelent? Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: maybe we should see a show for real Jimmy: could be a laugh Janis: Yeah Janis: why not Janis: just remember you promised Jimmy: work on our heckles Jimmy: just don't get too jealous of my 😍😍 when they ain't aimed at you Jimmy: what did I promise? Janis: exactly that motherfucker 😒 Janis: no indie bands for you if this is how you're gonna be Jimmy: threesome or nowt, I hear you Janis: with your taste? nowt Jimmy: you love Pete Jimmy: what you chatting Janis: He's the only exception, I've told you many times Janis: special 💕 Jimmy: & I've only got eyes for you & him Jimmy: Barry when I'm wasted Janis: mhmm Janis: likely story, slag Jimmy: keep wounding me Jimmy: near death Jimmy: can't go on Janis: go find a girl with quirky coloured hair to cry on Jimmy: these cows are gonna eat me when I hit the ground so unlikely Jimmy: but a boy can dream Janis: 🖕 they're herbivores, you dickhead Janis: how you like your women too, I'm sure Jimmy: give a shit what they eat Jimmy: cows or girls Jimmy: both are eyeing me all the time Jimmy: like they wanna make something happen Janis: genuinely hate you Janis: so much i'm not walking to the end of this lane, come here if you're not a loitering murderer i'm looking at rn Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: baby, take a step for me Jimmy: go on Janis: don't baby me Janis: you said you'd be nice Janis: 😠 Jimmy: alright, Janis take a step for me Jimmy: please Janis: [Does, a tiny one] Jimmy: [walks the rest of the way up to her & kisses her 'cause well that's just how he do] Janis: [casually covered in his blood, hot, touches where the split is gently and licks her finger after] Janis: let's go clean you up Jimmy: just Jimmy: [has to kiss her again harder cos wouldn't we all] Janis: yeah Janis: now let me be good and fix this Jimmy: You already are Jimmy: let me have Jimmy: [more kisses cos where is the chill on any given day] Janis: I want more Janis: but I don't wanna hurt you Jimmy: you won't Janis: [is kissing his neck 'cos safer] Jimmy: [enjoy his reaction cows 'cos we know he's living for it] Janis: [so many little kisses] Janis: is it just there or are there any bruises I need to miss too Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: which sounds like a line to make you find out but I don't Janis: I'll be careful then Janis: check you thoroughly later, obviously Jimmy: it's a blur now Jimmy: like it didn't happen but obviously Janis: Yeah Janis: you don't have to think about it right now, if you don't want Jimmy: & I feel like I've been walking to find you for half the day Janis: I promise it weren't that long Janis: middle of nowhere and lost though you are Jimmy: I'm just saying I don't know what's my dad & what's how unfit I am Janis: It's alright, can work it out together Janis: and go slow now I've ascertained you aren't bleeding out Jimmy: can we stay here for a bit Jimmy: not ages just Janis: if you've got over your moophobia Janis: 'course Jimmy: you'll protect me Janis: yes baby Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause we all know that was multi-layered chat thank you] Janis: sit down though Janis: [puts her jacket down 'cos remember when yes you do it wasn't that long ago] Jimmy: [sits but pulls her into his lap 'cause obviously] Jimmy: alright Janis: am now Janis: you? Jimmy: am now Jimmy: [is just touching her hair so gently 'cause fave like soz for the state of his hands probably babe] Janis: [motions that he should lift his arms so she can take his top off him carefully 'cos already bloody and uses it to wipe away the blood that has dried around his eyes] Jimmy: [does & tries not to visibly wince cos hard & northern but actually a soft boy so] Janis: [gives him neck and shoulder massages when she's done, as she's putting his top back on Janis: there Janis: might not have got lost if you could see better Jimmy: I'll use that excuse, tah Janis: allow it Janis: and i ain't telling Jimmy: me either Jimmy: twitter don't need to know everything Jimmy: bit of blasphemy Janis: alright Janis: no God in your house, you've told me Jimmy: I'll let the world know what a good nurse you are though Janis: Not letting just anyone bleed on me, you know Jimmy: sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: don't be Jimmy: there's so much Jimmy: [touches her face where some is but like not in a way he technically needs to after a sec 'cos I just have to bye] Janis: just looks it, head injuries always do Janis: you don't need stitches or nowt, I wouldn't be sat here if you did Janis: even if it's Janis: nice Jimmy: if I did I woulda had 'em first time Jimmy: do I need to be worried you're like an expert on head injuries for some reason Janis: 🔪🐰 Janis: told ya Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: you're fucking cute Janis: do that again yeah Jimmy: you don't get to call me cute sitting there looking like that Jimmy: you're Jimmy: being really cute Janis: [makes a dorky face which she means to be ugly but come on] Janis: what about now? Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause can't like he gonna say some extra shit if I don't] Janis: [touches his lips after] Janis: i'm glad you don't have a fat lip Janis: it'd be really hard not to kiss you Janis: i might die Jimmy: I still would Jimmy: that hero 💪 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: but next time I'll tell him Janis: aim lower, right Janis: [points finger gun at his heart] Jimmy: that's your shot not his Jimmy: so be careful Janis: [crosses self, does scout's honour etc] Jimmy: [does a lil lol cos she a cute nerd] Janis: that might be one of my favourite noises you make Jimmy: don't commit yet Janis: i didn't Janis: sensible, me Jimmy: how sensible? Jimmy: you gonna stop me if I Jimmy: [is touching her in some saucy manner excuse you sir] Janis: very sensible Janis: be an idiot to stop you when Jimmy: when? Janis: when I missed you so much Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & moving down her whole body, moving clothes out of his way as best he can 'cause missed her too obvs] Jimmy: what about now? Janis: [casually gripping onto his t-shirt really hard 'cos doesn't wanna hurt him but damn] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm meant to be Jimmy: I said, it's alright Jimmy: [carries on 'cause he's that dickhead] Janis: oh fuck Janis: don't start this somewhere we can't finish it again Jimmy: the cows aren't gonna tell us to stop Janis: so you trust 'em now do you Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: [kisses her on the mouth before we know what's gonna happen oh boy] Janis: just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Jimmy: I told you, you won't Jimmy: trust yourself Jimmy: [starts from the top 'cause there & back at it again at Krispy Kreme] Janis: [starts unbuttoning him 'cos impatient] Jimmy: [likewise with whatever she's wearing 'cause he didn't ask like a phone sex line for once so idk] Janis: I want you so bad you know Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but still like that you told me Janis: feel it some more Jimmy: [does] Janis: Shit Janis: That's so Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I Janis: Please don't stop Jimmy: not now I've started, you know that Janis: yeah but promise Janis: I like it when you promise Jimmy: on what? a cow Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: [says that he promises out loud] Janis: [kisses him 'cos back at it again with nothing but ily to say] Jimmy: [lowkey drops his phone & don't even notice 'cause hot] Janis: [Hit 'em with an after 'cos] Jimmy: is it weird that we always type instead of just talking? Janis: probably but Janis: not like we do it when we're alone Janis: and not in public Jimmy: we're alone now Jimmy: are you counting the cows? Janis: yeah, they're people too, they don't need to hear me going all out Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: they heard everything Janis: shh Janis: never happened Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's not 'cause Jimmy: you Janis: what? Janis: are you concussed? Janis: look at me Jimmy: you don't type it 'cause you can't delete what you chat before it comes out your mouth, do you? Jimmy: that's not the reason Janis: does it matter Jimmy: depends what the answer is Janis: then I won't answer Jimmy: that is an answer Jimmy: I'm not stupid Janis: no it isn't Janis: you can't assume that it's in favour of your bias just 'cos Jimmy: if you don't wanna tell me it's 'cause you think the answer is one I don't wanna hear Jimmy: & I know what I don't wanna hear Jimmy: so Janis: I don't wanna answer 'cos you said it mattered so either way Jimmy: self control yeah Jimmy: just edit it a bit Jimmy: I get it Janis: what you being like this for Jimmy: is it real or not? Jimmy: that's why it matters Janis: why would I fake fuck you Janis: what would be the point of that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: you wouldn't but Jimmy: anything else you say to me Jimmy: are you just hitting delete on whatever you wanna say Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: are you Janis: 'cos you seem to be more ready for this conversation than I am Jimmy: I asked you, don't turn it round on me 'cause you don't wanna tell me I'm right Janis: You aren't right Janis: can we go now Jimmy: I suppose Janis: what's the point in asking if you don't believe me anyway Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: didn't have to Jimmy: I didn't mean to Janis: whatever Janis: come on Jimmy: [stops her 'cause boy you gotta fix this excuse you] Jimmy: not like this Janis: you said you ain't got nowhere else to go and i said you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: I'd rather stay here if that's what you reckon me going with you is Jimmy: whatever I've said Janis: don't be dramatic just Jimmy: It's not Jimmy: I care about you, alright Jimmy: that's why I asked Jimmy: & 'cause I trust you & that's not nowt to me Jimmy: it's bigger than like any of the rest of the bollocks of knowing someone Janis: alright Janis: just 'cos I hold back some things doesn't mean I'm lying or whatever you think it means Janis: we're not going that far back, you said, not everything has to be said for the shit that is to matter, does it Jimmy: loads of people have kept loads of shit from me & if you're gonna be another one then I just wanna know first this time that you are Jimmy: but nah I don't need your life story Janis: Well what do you need Janis: 'cos if you're gonna hold it against me when I tell you something later you wanted to know now then Jimmy: I'm not trying to be that dickhead Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: he's never not in my head Jimmy: my dad Jimmy: & that fucks things up sometimes, I know Jimmy: but me, I don't want to Janis: I know Janis: however much I don't know about the whole situation there, I know that Janis: I'm not holding that against you, am I Jimmy: you can Jimmy: I hurt you, you can hurt me Janis: I don't want to Janis: and you didn't Jimmy: a bit Janis: just shut up yeah Jimmy: just let me say sorry first Jimmy: 'cause I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: alright Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he's shit with words & so that's a better sorry] Janis: it's just been a shit day, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but that's not an excuse Jimmy: I don't wanna do that Janis: can be Janis: it's valid Jimmy: I like you too much for that bollocks Jimmy: it's valid that I'm a dickhead & you can hate me a bit Jimmy: nowt else Janis: well I don't alright so stop Jimmy: [takes her hand & holds it] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [drops hand 'cos not over it fully] Janis: can you just Janis: learn how to time this shit better Jimmy: It's not like there's a plan Janis: well this is the second time you've done this basically directly after so Janis: probably think about getting one Jimmy: I Jimmy: how else can I say I'm sorry? Janis: you can't Janis: just warning you, mood killer Jimmy: bollocks can't I Jimmy: come on Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: just wait like five minutes next time, yeah Jimmy: I'm not planning a next time Janis: fine Janis: [starts walking] Janis: keep up Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: are you serious Jimmy: like you said, it's been a shit day Janis: thanks a fucking lot Jimmy: I'm doing you a favor girl Jimmy: the mood's dead Janis: who asked you to Janis: and fuck you Jimmy: you're asking me Jimmy: I can actually read, like Janis: where Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck off Janis: where Janis: I didn't Jimmy: get between the lines Janis: oh, all the stuff I didn't say, yeah? Janis: that's all you're concerned with now Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: no Jimmy: you've said enough to be going on with Jimmy: I made it too weird, it's not on you anyway Janis: Jesus Christ Janis: seriously Janis: just stop, come on Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: what are you doing here? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: & I'm just Janis: What do you mean what am I doing here? Janis: we're Janis: I'm your girlfriend Janis: and not such a shitty fucking person I wanna see you go back to your Dad so he can make your day worse what the actual fuck Janis: how is that not on me, that you'd rather Jimmy: I want you to want me to stay 'cause you do Jimmy: not 'cause he's a fucking dick Jimmy: but now you don't Jimmy: 'cause I'm as much of a dick Janis: how many times and ways can I tell you I do Janis: and you ain't Janis: this is a ridiculous conversation Jimmy: [this boy is lowkey about to cry my soft son] Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: [sits] Janis: [sits with] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm sorry Janis: can't we just agree to forget about it Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos v sad] Janis: Tell me what to do for you, babe Jimmy: don't leave Jimmy: I'm sorry I fucked it up but don't Janis: I ain't Janis: it's alright Janis: I mean it Janis: nothing that ain't fixable Jimmy: so let me know how to fix it Janis: just don't go home Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I don't know why I said that Jimmy: proof that I'm not censoring myself I suppose Janis: I know you aren't Janis: you don't have to, I know I Janis: probably overreact to shit sometimes Jimmy: [actually lols again cos same bitch] Jimmy: me too Jimmy: you said, thank fuck nobody was relying on you or whatever when I was talking about Bobby & Cass before Jimmy: I'm not trying to be a burden of bollocks for you today Jimmy: that's it Janis: [lols with] Janis: You aren't Janis: I was just trying to show I knew I had it easier in that respect Janis: I think Jimmy: I've fucked your day up from getting sacked onward Jimmy: you don't need it Janis: well I want it so deal with it Jimmy: [looks at her with love bitch] Janis: [makes stupid face again like 'what' 'cos cannot deal] Jimmy: [kisses her cos likewise can't deal & will say highkey shit] Janis: Are you ready now? Jimmy: [kisses her again cos cheeky like that] Jimmy: am now Jimmy: are you ready to get drunk with some other dickheads? Janis: as long as one of 'em is you Jimmy: top dickhead me Jimmy: king of Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we need to sort ourselves out first we look mad Janis: bit halloween for april maybe Jimmy: only a bit Jimmy: [takes a quick pic of her so she can see how much blood is on her] Janis: Well, if I didn't love myself before Janis: 😍 Jimmy: I like it but Jimmy: I'm weird Janis: you're embracing it now, yeah Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: for right now Janis: gonna lose it's sting as an insult but Janis: I like it Jimmy: I'll think of a new one Jimmy: it's alright Janis: your creativity knows no bounds, babe Jimmy: gotta stay #goals Jimmy: & keep my muse in a job Jimmy: one of us needs to be working Janis: a suitably #richgirl 'job' Janis: one notch above calling myself an 'influencer' still, thank God Jimmy: if I draw you an artsy nude so you can keep your actual of twitter, will you love me madly again? Janis: perhaps Janis: if you're gonna make me look like an old man then no Jimmy: 👌 it'll be my masterpiece Jimmy: no wrinkles just blood, 'cause your #kink Janis: you like it too shut up Jimmy: could be from Mia's severed head Jimmy: everybody'd like it then Janis: Hot Janis: I'd really love you forever then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: consider it done Janis: [Gets up and puts out a hand to pull him up] Jimmy: [takes her hand 'cause he WANNA HOLD IT] Janis: I promised to patch you up Janis: and give you a blowjob, actually so Janis: get a wriggle on Jimmy: you could've got out of that Jimmy: I didn't remember Janis: 💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: I wouldn't forget it once it happened Jimmy: that's the real 💔 Janis: I won't feel sorry for you, boy Janis: the cheek, not to remember everything I say Janis: how un #goals of you Jimmy: you distracted me with a lot of #goals shit you did right here Jimmy: in my defense Janis: I don't know if we're allowing it Janis: I'll consult the girls Jimmy: baby Jimmy: please Janis: You know that actually works on me Janis: how shaming Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear too 'cause he's a dickhead] Jimmy: how do you feel now instead? Janis: I really cannot go down on you right here Janis: I draw the line so stop please Jimmy: [sexy little earlobe moment 'cause he's a shit] Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Um, no you don't Janis: [Pulls him back and kisses him] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: stopping or starting Janis: Your fault Jimmy: I was making you feel no shame Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: Hmm 😑 Janis: you're very Jimmy: do I wanna know Janis: you know you wanna know everything Jimmy: but we should go before it gets properly dark Janis: why, you scared Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: but I do remember you saying you wanted to see me when you were blowing me so Jimmy: not using all my battery on the torch Jimmy: don't like you that much Janis: 😏 Janis: suddenly he remembers Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the kiss brought it back to me Janis: not gonna have you claiming amnesia from this Janis: calling bullshit right now Jimmy: 😂 Janis: can't be throwing out that many cliches Janis: even these morons will cotton on Jimmy: me? cliched Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 😶 Jimmy: if they made a flick on my life dickhead's be saying that don't happen Jimmy: #original Janis: send the screenplay in to my little brother then Janis: I'll check it out some time Jimmy: I'll get on that now I got all this free time Janis: man of leisure Jimmy: gonna have to do my homework Jimmy: no excuses Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: ew Janis: i'm not doing it with you Jimmy: come over & we'll say we're doing it Jimmy: 😏😏 Janis: that's more like it, nerd Jimmy: you're a nerd Janis: I am not Janis: 👊🍱💰 Jimmy: [playfully shoves her] Jimmy: the fact you reckon that's the kind of lunch I'm taking Jimmy: sort it out, rich girl Janis: [shoulder barges back but gentle 'cos careful girl] Janis: I was very limited by emojis Janis: and did not stalk you, so Janis: I'll ask Gracie Jimmy: you coulda done 🍕🍞🍟🧀 you weirdo Jimmy: even 🥗 Janis: yeah right 😂 Jimmy: what you laughing for? Jimmy: you coulda even done 🍽 Jimmy: you fucked up, nerd Janis: you don't eat salads Janis: you rude bitch Jimmy: I don't eat whatever the fuck emoji you went with Jimmy: [does a hair ruffle like he's Tess in the past & she's Fraze but he's a pisstaking fool] Janis: it was a box i was aiming for lunch box Janis: 😡 Janis: [does face] Jimmy: [lols again cos she cute] Janis: Don't think you can cute your way outta this Jimmy: what if I'm hot? Janis: wouldn't that be the dream Janis: c'est la vie, nerd Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: I'm in so much pain now Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [kisses him but pulls on his pouty lip] Jimmy: 😳 Janis: So cute Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's cute & hot & the dream bye] Janis: Okay Janis: you're hot too Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: now we've established that, come on Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍

[callmeakumatized]

My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend - Ch. 5

((Imma tired so I’ll put in links to Ao3, FF.net, and the previous chapter later. :) ))

Chat Noir was late for the "patrol" that he had invited Ladybug to that night. When he arrived at the meeting place at the banks of the Seine (there was a specific bench there that held a special memory), he wasn't even able to wipe the smile off his face long enough to look remotely guilty about his lack of punctuality. Instead, as soon as Ladybug laid eyes on his bounding form, he literally pounced on her in happiness.

"Cha – !"

Ladybug's cry was smothered by a certain superhero who was equal parts loving, over-eager, and over-zealous to prove himself the alpha male to his counterpart. Counterpart, here, meaning his own alter-ego. This girl had kissed Adrien Agreste, and Chat Noir was determined to make her forget all about him.

When their lips touched, Chat didn't even bother being soft with her. One hand firmly but gently held her at the base of her neck, one hand wrapped securely around her waist. He pulled her close, trying to maintain his composure when he was trying so hard not to melt into the aggressive atmosphere he had created between them. The contact was vital. He needed this reassurance. He needed to be able to know that she was his, as much as she would let him. He only pulled away when he felt her fingers lace into his hair; he wouldn't recover from that, and he still needed to take her to their little surprise.

Leaning his forehead on hers, he breathed out a laugh.

"Geez, kitty…" Ladybug panted lightly. "It hadn't been that long, has it?"

"Long enough," Chat answered her, equally cryptic in his reply as she had been in her question.

"You didn't call me to our secret spot just for this, though, did you?"

"If I did, would you really mind?"

Ladybug only offered a coy smile, eyebrow raised. Chat grinned in return.

"C'mon, M'lady," Chat said, whipping from his spot and pulling her along with him. "I have a surprise." She yelped when he swung her in close to him and vaulted up with his baton in one fluid motion.

The city lights blazed in whirring swirls and patterns around them. For all the stars they were missing due to the Parisian air, Chat really couldn't be disappointed. Paris legendarily held a certain charm; through the ages that charm hadn't left. Instead, it had only evolved, and Chat loved more and more each day he had with his own Lady Luck in the City of Love.

The minutes lengthened – the right spot hadn't been easy to fight – but the trip ended when Chat's baton hit the top of a large, triangular-shaped apartment complex. The landing with his lady was gentler than how they had traveled, Chat gingerly pawing the ground with his boots first before staring into Ladybug's eyes as he gently lowered her the rest of the way. She exhaled loudly, and the fact that she had been holding her breath made Chat a little giddy inside. He watched her for a moment more, the yellowy lights of the Palais Garnier Opera House glistening behind her, lighting up her face just enough that his night vision was not needed.

He had wanted to be on the roof of the Opera House itself, but the sharp edges across the surface made it nearly impossible to execute his plan to one-up, well, himself.

"What?" Ladybug said at last, a hand reaching up to her face in a gesture that was both bashful and adorable.

"Do you know how tempting it is to kiss you just, well, all the time?"

Ladybug giggled. "I may have some sort of idea, chaton, but I literally cannot say that I completely understand the desire."

Chat palmed the sides of her face and pulled her forehead to his own as before, chuckling.

"It's a shame, really," he whispered back playfully. "You're missing out. Maybe I'll have to don some spots one day so you can see how attractive you are."

"So, it's the spots, then?" Ladybug replied, pushing his hands from her face, an arch look crossing her features. "And here I thought you just liked me for my body."

"A plus, to be sure, but really…it's the spots that do me in."

Ladybug shook her head, entirely bemused. The expression on her face was one he had seen earlier that day in the darkness of a movie theater, and he felt his lips twitch in an almost irritated manner. He turned before she could notice his own feelings his face was surely betraying at that moment. Clawed fingers fiddled with his little DIY project. He pulled up the lock screen features on his phone, wishing that he had prepped a little more of this with his actual fingers and not the super claws.

While in his kitty crouch, his cat ears twitched at the sound of Ladybug padding her way over to him.

"And did you just say 'don some spots'?" she said in a teasing tone. "Wait…are you secretly an 80-year-old man that just morphs into a hot young cat with the powers of the Miraculous!?"

Though her tone was playful, and Chat laughed aloud at the supposition, the joking question gave him pause. He was reminded, again, of his girlfriend's boyfriend, and the little interlude they had had earlier that day.

Boyfriend? What was Adrien to Marinette? He'd have to ask that later.

…Without the cat ears, of course.

"Chaton?" Ladybug's questioning voice pulled him out of his temporary daze.

"'Hot young cat', huh?" Chat answered hurriedly, trying to get back into his smooth groove. He stood abruptly, causing Ladybug's eyes to shoot straight up to look into his face. He loved doing this to her, catching her off guard. Every minute of every day, she held him tied to her little finger, and he absolutely loved it; but he also loved to throw her off balance every once in a while. Call it a guilty pleasure, but seeing Ladybug not know exactly what to do in every situation, specifically where he was concerned, made him nothing short of happy.

Not in a Marinette to Adrien way, though. Not yet at least…he hadn't really had time to process that.

"Y-Yeah," Ladybug stammered, and Chat grinned at the blush crossing her cheeks on his behalf. Evidence was good that this would play out similarly in their civilian forms then as well. She took a step back from him then, eyeing him from his head to his toes. "Good gall, Chat…you've definitely been eating your Wheaties lately, haven't you?"

Chat merely put one hand on his hip and ghosted his fingers under her chin. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ladybug scoffed at this.

"Like cheese you don't. Are you going to tell me why you brought me here? Or are you just going to stand in front of your little box there all night like a creeper?"

"Ooo, such the flatterer, M'Lady." Chat grabbed Ladybug by the shoulders suddenly and whipped her around. With a very Chat-like flourish, he pulled a black blanket off a pile he was sure Ladybug had missed before. Under the cover were a few plush pillows atop a fluffy-looking, open sleeping bag.

"What…?" Ladybug started. Chat finally moved from in front of the small box he had been fiddling with. A light blasted through the darkness. Ladybug blinked a few times before she seemed to adjust to the light. When it seemed to click what was happening, Chat turned on the Bluetooth speaker he had brought along.

"Which pet's address in the finest in Paris? Which pets possess the finest pedigree…"

Playful sketches of kittens danced on the wall of the apartment building where the light was shining, playing along to the classic song. Ladybug gaped for a moment before turning back to him.

"Oh, Chat…"

With a hand on his shoulder for support, Ladybug pushed herself up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek. Though he had literally just made-out with her fifteen minutes prior, the brushed contact made the heat come up to his cheeks. He watched Ladybug as she giddily planted herself onto the pile of pillows and pulled the blanket up around her. Chat put down the small speaker and raked a clawed hand through the back of his hair.

There was still more to say, but he wasn't sure how to say it.

Does this blow the date earlier today out of the water?

Agreste wouldn't know how to make his own phone projector screen, would he?

You prefer me to him, right?

Ladybug looked up at him again, he tried to smile as broadly in return.

He settled on a safer question.

"Better than a movie theater, huh?"

Ladybug squinted questioningly at him before giggling and shaking her head.

"Like there was any competition?"

Chat felt a yank on his arm before he was pulled down next to his Lady.

It wasn't exactly the answer he was looking for. In his mind, he replied, Yes, actually, and I want to know that I won big time. But the words still wouldn't come. It was ridiculous, really. He needed to just ask, to just say something. Why couldn't he just say something!?

Ladybug started singing along with the French words and Chat felt himself fall for her a little more.

That was why. She was why.

He loved this girl. And she loved him. But what if…what if she didn't want them to be the same person? The thought seemed crazy as she obviously liked both sides of him…but for as well as Chat knew Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was still something of a mystery to him.

(Apparently, part of the reason for this was a big fat crush on him she had harbored for who knows how long.)

And while Chat was constantly able to talk with Ladybug, one can only get so far in conversations when you're trying to maintain secret identities.

Chat could tell anyone that Ladybug had a weak left block but a mean right hook. He could recite her favorite one-liners and playful quips. He knew how many spots were on her costume (87, including the mask) and where they all were located. But he hadn't been able to know her favorite color, or if she prefers lilies to daffodils, or how she likes to eat her croissants in the morning (does she even eat croissants in the morning!? She lives in a bakery…Chat knew he would eat croissants every morning….)

At these thoughts, a deflated sigh passed through Chat's lips. The sound drew the attention of Ladybug.

"What's wrong, minou?"

Chat shook his head and smiled down at her before pulling her closer to him.

"Nothing you can't fix, M'Lady." To dispel any more questions from his girlfriend, Chat nuzzled into Ladybug's cheek until she was laughing and trying to push him away. The resulting wrestling match ended with Chat lying completely on top of Ladybug as she laid on her side, her small frame completely squished under his own wider one. The contact was comfortable, at least for him. While he was mentally continuing to sweep his current problems under the rug, having Ladybug there with him now, being able to touch her in this moment, was bliss.

Without warning, he started to purr.

"Nooooo, Chaaaaat!" Ladybug whined from under him. Chat smiled to himself while she tried to wiggle out from under him again (she really had tried to escape earlier, but it was simply not happening). "Chaaaat, you're like a giant purr generator! I can't even hear the show anymore! Get o – NO STOP LAUGHING YOU'RE MAKING MY FACE SMACK INTO THE GROUND!"

Bliss. However temporary it might prove to be…this was bliss.

[kittyboynoir-blog]

“Here, Lets share the blanket”

Adrienette one shot based off of these fluff starters

Rating: F(fluff)

Summary: the squad was chilling at Mari’s place but when Nino & Alya fell asleep they took two of the blankets... which meant Adrien and Marinette had to share;) (no nsfw/smut)

Author’s notes: hi! so this is technically my first fic so its not all that great but hopefully someone likes it. i plan on writing more in the future and hopefully i will improve. Enjoy

~~~

It had basically became a ritual. Nearly every weekend, the gang would hang out at Marinette’s place to sleepover and do typical teenage stuff. However, ever since Nino and Alya started dating, that meant that Marinette was often stuck with Adrien... which of course she didn’t mind at all. They had just got done watching vine compilations when they agreed that they must have seen every vine known to man at least twice! There was a moment of silence until an idea sprang to mind for Alya.

“Guys, we should totally play truth or dare” she said while smirking at her boyfriend

“Okay okay, lets just keep it appropriate!” Marinette stated with a light chuckle.

The friends gathered in a circle, adjusting themselves to get comfortable. Quick glances were given to each other to see who would go first. Surprisingly, Adrien spoke up.

“Okay... Mari, truth or dare?” He turned to her, giving his usual warm smile with his kind, soft eyes.

Shocked, Mari shouted out “truth”

Everyone turned to him as he paused to think real quick “... what do you daydream about the most?”

The attention was now on Marinette, Alya raised an eyebrow. She had a general idea of what her best friend daydreams about. Mari took a moment to think of something other than Adrien. Lightheartedly she said “the thing i daydream about the most is actually getting to school on time!” And in unison everyone laughed. Her friends were well aware of how much she struggled with getting out that door in the morning. “Alright... Alya... Truth or dare?”

“Dare!” she said confidently while sitting up right. 

“Okay.. I dare yo to.. go get all of us some snacks!” Mari teased while looking at the boys to make sure they agreed

“Uh, hey!!! That’s not like a real dare!!” Alya spitted out half laughing

“Oh? So are you forfeiting?” Marinette asked taunting her best friend.

“Girl you know I will never forfeit! Besides, a snack does sound really good right about now. I'll be right back”  Alya responded with her usual spirit

“I set aside some croissants!! Grab some of those please!!!” She shouted to her friend that was already half way down the stairs. While Adrien and Nino were discussing how great Mari’s croissants were, she realized that she hadn't checked her phone in a while. She walked over to her desk to grab it and see what time it was

“Holy crap, it's almost 3 a.m guys” she said grabbing Nino and Adrien’s attention. “Everyone is pretty much ready for bed except me huh? I should at least put on my pjs”

“True true, and come to think of it… I am getting a little bit tired” stated Nino in a more sleepy tone.

Just then, Alya barged in with all the goodies “girl do you know what time it is?!?!?”

“Haha we were just discussing that” said Adrien

“I wanna go to bed! After I eat this of course” Alya said while beginning to devour the croissant.

“Awh come on, we could stay up a little bit longer! I do need to get in my pjs though.. I might even take a shower…” Mari said while Alya shook her head.

“Alright but no promises that I won't be dead asleep by the time you get out!”

“Same here” stated an even sleepier Nino.

“Awh baby you're so cute when you're all sleepy” Alya said in a sickening baby voice to her beloved boyfriend

“Oh god you guys, save that mess for later!” Mari said while winking at Alya.

To which alya responded in a sheepish but sassy tone “Sorry not sorry”

Mari took a moment to finish her snack and gather her things for bed. “Alright well imma be back. Don't have to much fun without me” she said while standing up to leave.

“We will”  Alya shouted while nudging the boys playfully.

Marinette could still hear their laughter from the room until she turned the shower on. She tried to bathe quickly but of course she ended up just standing under the hot warm water for what felt like an hour. By the time she turned off the tap she couldn't hear their giggles anymore and thought that she was the last one awake. She threw on her comfy clothes and walked out, but to her surprise, Adrien was waiting by the door.

“AHHH” she shrieked

“AHH DID I STARTLE YOU?!?!” Adrien replied just as alarmed.

“N-no.. I-I mean.. yeah.. a lil bit haha” Mari could feel herself stammering again and just wanted to hide. She had gotten more comfortable around the boy of her dreams but for some reason she went back to her nervous-wreck self.

“Haha sorry about that… I came to wait for you because Nino and Alya fell asleep… plus… I got lonely…” he said with a weird glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Mari quickly regained her confidence “It's okay don't sweat it! Well I'm here now, so let's go back to the room”

As they walked towards her room Adrien whispered “your hair… I've never seen it down before… it looks really nice”  to which mari blushed and ran her hand through the tangles.

“Thank you” she said while opening the door. She glanced over to the sleeping couple. “Hey! Nino and Alya took two of the blankets”

“Hmm… think we could snatch one of them?” Adrien responded through a yawn and a cat-like stretch

“Probably not… you could sleep with this.. I can go without it for one night!” Mari held out the blanket to adrien with a kind gesture. He was about to take it till he got an idea. Without thinking he bursted out

“Here!! Let's share the blanket!!!”  He realized what he had said and immediately looked away to hide his blushing. There was a pause before Mari got the courage to say something

“I-I.. wouldn't mind that…” her voice cracked and trailed off. Her heart accelerated in fear that he would change his mind.

“Oh good!! I-hahah- I mean okay” Adrien was blushing even harder than Marinette and he was hoping that she didn't notice. She was making her way up to her bed and he stood there dazed for a moment until she invited him up. She had already got comfy in her spot and he climbed into bed.

Mari realized that Adrien was literally on the very edge of the bed “... you know.. you don't have to be thaatt far away from me” she said with a cute giggle

“Oh-uh--yeah… I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable but if you're sure you're okay with me being-” Adrien was the one that started to ramble for once, until Marinette cut him off

“I never feel uncomfortable with you” Marinette didnt know where this confidence was coming from, but she defiantly used it to her advantage. A little gasp came from Adrien and he hoped she would just ignore it. Finally he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed

“..I had so much fun today. I really love hanging out with you guys”

“Yeesss oh my goodness today was great”

They had both went quiet for a moment until marinette spoke up with hesitation.

“Uh…you can say n-no if you want. But do you want to cuddle?” She said with a nervous chuckle

“YES. I-mean… yeah sure that's cool.” As soon as he said this Mari scooted back into Adrien and got all cozy. He started mindlessly running his hands through her hair as he began to drift off

“Goodnight Adrien”

“Goodnight milady” he responded while planting a sweet kiss upon her head

Marinettes eyes shot open

What did he just say?

[an-avocado-abroad-blog]

What's a LDN Girl Gotta Do: Wan Chai

Wan Chai, HK’s red light district, is one of my favourite areas in the city. When I say red light district, it is extraordinarily tame. So if you're coming expecting a full blown Amsterdam you might want to reevaluate your motives. 

Instead expect curved streets, hutongs, boutique parades, the best Artisan coffee, the Hopewell Centre and everything in between. 

If you do end up at Admiralty expect a more trendy work environment with a higher price tag.

However, the closer you shuffle towards Wan Chai MTR the more authentic it gets.

I considered myself well versed in what to expect at a wet market. 

I thought I had seen every type of fish being descaled whilst alive in existence. I thought nearly dipping my jacket zip in sheep's brain was traumatic. 

I, as per usual, had seen nothing. 

What we experienced down those misty Wan Chai alleys was an insight into how our ancestors would have lived in Eastern Europe and how many live now. 

It wasn't particularly sanitary but then as my Mum pointed out you don't really know what you eat at restaurants. Personally, I think she needs to starve herself off watching anymore Ramsey Kitchen Nightmares. 

Anyway, if you were a vegetarian or had just eaten you would have not held down your food. 

What we saw was the entire Imma Celeb Bushtucker trial menu. 

I saw ears, tails of what animal I could not say, testicles, feet, hooves and most shockingly fish being thrown against a wall to stun them then bled to death. I believe in not judging other countries customs but this was just cruel.

But back to the tails for the minute. 

What possible concoction would an entire 3ft long tail even fit in? A cauldron perhaps? I certainly haven't seen any of the girls in my floor cook anything like that nor in any Cantonese recipe book. 

Koffee

No, that is not just another example of my numerous typos. It’s the title of one of Wan Chai’s tiny Japanese run overpriced coffee houses.  

They are not coffee shops because I associate this with Starbucks, Costa etc which are chains of mass produced plastic cups. 

Coffee houses in Wan Chai are as frequent as trees in the Amazon--plenty but seemingly never enough. 

I am a coffee fan but not an addict, nor a strict connoisseur because I strongly believe McCafe Coffee is delicious and should win awards. I instead linger on the fringe where I am drawn to cafes for their food options, price and playlist.

Maybe if I was not on a student budget I would be OK with paying more than £1-3 for a coffee. The main points to remember as you shuffle across your $50 and receive cents in change are that you are paying to sit in Wan Chai the district adjacent to central, drinking sustainably grown coffee, being served/meeting Baristas who A) Smile B) look beyond trendy wearing beanies Japanese themed t-shirts and arms adorned with Korean style geometric tattoos C) 75% of the time get your order correct. 

The food is expensive as well but exceptional for a coffee house. The menu often ranges from warm Matcha and red bean muffins to fresh beef burgers with fries which blind tasted would be linked to an established restaurant, not Habitu (ok coffee, really great food). 

A recommendation from a local was ‘Elephant Grounds’. Decked out in wooden seats and glass windows it was airy, clean and awakening. I tucked into my usual Granola and fruit composite which was the best I have ever had but then also would set you back $68 but it was huge and filled me up until dinner time.

The playlist ahh the playlist would have not been out of place at the R&B room at Mission nightclub it was fantastic a pure delightful mix of Drake, Solange but then also The Lumineers and some Cantonese artists. Pure Joy, I could have sat there all day and sang away into my empty wallet all day.

Also, their brownies are called ‘Wake and Bake’ so think who carefully about who you bring to this cafe. 

Looking for a more elegant touch? Belgium Le pain Quotidien is your answer. Serving hot, hearty stews, fresh croissant and hot chocolate there is nothing you could ever wish for and not receive here. 

But you also pay for such a luxury. 

Welcome to Wan Chai folks, it will steal your girl but also your $$$

Shoreditch but with culture

People like familiarity. It makes them feel safe it helps them to understand and digest information and the world around them. 

The entire time I was in Wan Chai (pre-wet market) I compared it to Shoreditch. 

Have I ever been to Shoreditch? 

Once, (i think?), thus making me completely capable and suitable for the author of this comparison. In the eyes of America at least. 

The truth is Wan Chai is nothing like Shoreditch. Sure its hipster and happily will sell you coffee for $50 but it has not been spoilt. The cultural Cantonese roots stick deep here under the basketball court/outdoor concert site, the markets, the live squid soup ‘hole in the wall’. Above the bars, reminiscent of those you can find in The Headrow in Leeds, live locals who buy their shui mai from the middle-aged Hong Konger with his steamer opposite Three Pacific Place.  

Yes, there are Merry Christmas signs but just witnessing the locals happiness upon seeing the magical lanterns suspended above the promenade was warming. It made me very excited and also nervous for the craziness that would be Chinese New Year (CNY).

Posher restaurants

Beef and Liberty was good. It was a good burger. Mine came with a slightly burnt bun from where the chef was holding a blowtorch and having a conversation with the waitress at the same time. 

I think the best part of the meal was the jasmine tea and how the American guy next to me was on Trip Advisor a mere 4 mins after finishing his burger. 

Speaking of burgers, if you're particularly hungry you might want to order a starter but for your regular joe it's a completely mathematically perfect amount and not just because it's Chinese owned. 

It's packed always and the burgers are churned out continuously-its exhausting just to watch. 

Would I go again? Probably not because I don't actually 'like' burgers that much and they had no chicken burger despite the restaurant being Beef and Liberty? Strange. 

Also, it didn't feel like you were in HK which was highlighted by nearly every table emitting a booming US accent. 

Would I recommend? If you're in Central/Wan Chai come if you want a good burger and excellent friendly service. 

Ratings 

Sun emoji: the jasmine tea was the best ever. Also homemade tomato sauce !!! Awkward face: did you spill the salt on the fries? Do you want me leaving with dehydration? I had to blow the salt off them. Also, it's clearly a hunting ground for HKU students so bare this in mind if you are expecting a more subdued adult environment take the train another stop to Central. 

Overall: 7/10 

[neighbourskid]

Have You Ever Been To See London Town

(original date: 01 November 2015)

Here We Are In London Town

As some of you might've read in one or the other post, I planned on going to London this fall. Well, that happened two weeks ago and now I am here to tell you all about it. Because I got a lot to tell you guys from the interwebs. But no rambling now. Without further ado, I present to you: my week all alone in London.

It was Tuesday, October 20th, very very early in the morning. My mom drove me out to the airport in Basel where I would take off around 7am. My mom did not come into the airport, so I had to do the check-in and baggage stuff all by myself - for the very first time. Whenever I flew before it had always been in a group and I had just watched what the others did and then did that. But not this time. No. I had to figure it out myself. But I got that done eventually and found myself at my gate, waiting very bored for boarding. To pass the time I typed out my thoughts on my phone, which is what I wanna show you right now.

It's 5:53am, I'm sitting next to Gate 31 at EuroAirport in Basel. I just had a croissant and a (absolutely horrible) coffee from Columbus Café. Boarding is in approximately half an hour, flight takes off at 7am. If everything goes accordingly to plan, I will be in London at 8.15am. I am rather bored right now but the other people here do not look any better than me. There's a rather old man in a brown leather jacket and an old woman who don't sit next to but apparently know each other. Next to the woman sits a 40+ dude, with moustache and a green-white scarf, who knows them as well. Opposite me sit two 50+ gentlemen, both tapping on their (allegedly) iPhone 6s's, being all business and shit. One of them wears old people shoes and a beige trench coat, the other looks like Prince Charles. Then there's a blonde woman with a coffee, who doesn't mean to but looks rather lonely and sad. Then behind me sits some dude in a red-black caro shirt. No idea what he looks like. The coffee shop is getting more and more busy the closer we get to boarding time. Which is odd because that coffee is crappy as hell. Well, maybe they can make Latte's now and not just plain coffee or espresso. It's past 6am now. I am still very bored. I could keep looking at these people and analyse them, but it is not that interesting to be honest. But hey, the old dude in the brown leather jacket just moved to sit next to his wife (?), cause the other dude went away. Oh, my mom just sent me a text. Maybe I'll meet someone I know. That'd be rather funny.

You get the idea. I was very bored. A bit later I go on and on about all the people around me, give them names like "The Italians" or "Donald Trump", "Mulan" and "Princess Diana". I write about every new person who arrives. It was entertaining for the time being.

It was 6:40am when I finally sat on my seat (23A). At this point I started to write on my phone again about what was happening, what I was doing, the people around me and other things. A little before we started going down again we got little sandwiches for breakfast, which was very lovely. I have to say here that I really love flying. I love it. Especially when I have a window seat. Because, if not too tired, I will stare out the window the whole flight and look at the clouds and the stuff beneath us, watch how houses and people and cars get smaller, take pictures of sunsets and sunrises - I just really enjoy flying.

After arriving at Heathrow Airport I took the tube to Tottenham Court Road, which was the best station to find my hotel from. Which I didn't. Well, not immediately. I walked around for at least half an hour trying to get a wifi signal somewhere so I could google my hotel. I did find it in the end. But waaaaaay to early. They had said my room would be available around 2pm, and when I arrived it was something between 10 and 11am. I could leave my baggage at the reception, which I did, and then went out to, well, get to know the place. But I had made some mistakes in my thought process. Which you will understand after you read the entry I made in a notebook.

It's 11am. I'm sitting in a Starbucks somewhere near Oxford Street in London. My coffee is still too hot to drink, but it's standing here waiting for me. When confronted with the fact that I couldn't go to my room until 2pm, I reacted very very stupidly. Because I took literally nothing more with me than my phone (with 30% charge at the time) and money. I could've just simply taken my bag. But no. I left it with the other one at the reception. Stupid me. So I went out, walked a bit until I found a McDonald's, where I ate some crappy breakfast burgers. Then I went to Sainsbury's to buy a pen and this notebook. And then I came here. To spend the remaining three hours. I just wanna shower actually. And be alone for a bit. Until I go to Madame Tussauds at around 3pm. My phone is at 15% now by the way. Not sure if I can find back to my hotel without my phone, though. Hopefully. Coffee is still hot as.....whatevers. I don't think I'll ever go alone on vacation ever again. I've only been here for what, two hours? I don't like being alone in a place I don't know that well. I feel odd. And am a bit afraid. And with my thing with many people in little space this all doesn't get much better. I hate being in crowded places. At least this place is rather empty. God, I'm so tired. What I love about this place is the language, though. I love English. And I love the accents. Very very much. But enough of my chit-chat. Imma write a bit now.

And then I wrote. I wrote a little Leverage ficlet. It did the job.

In the end, I went back to my hotel with 1% charge left on my phone. After I got lost trying to pass time. But hey, I found the place again and all was well. I took my shower, I was alone. Then I went to Madame Tussauds (nearly panicked on the way because I thought I was going to be too late) and it was awesome. I took loads of pictures and selfies and I enjoyed the place very much. Looking back, my first day alone in London was a great success. *happy face*

A Foggy Day in London Town

We wrote Wednesday, October 21st, it had been 8am and I had probably just woken up. Looking outside the window I saw what I had heard after waking up: it was raining pretty effing strong. But hey, that's London, amiright? Well anyway. On Wednesday I actually planned on getting up at around 9am, but I was an hour too early. Well, didn't matter, because this way I was able to watch the Agents of SHIELD episode that had just come out the night before. Which was great. To get you a clearer picture of what was going on in my head, have here another excerpt from my notebook.

It's half past nine in the morning, I'm sitting in that same Starbucks again, drinking my coffee and eating my croissant. It's raining pretty strong. But hey, it's London. What'd you expect. At 11.15am my two friends David and Philipp will arrive at London Euston, coming down from Coventry where they visited another friend of ours, Gabriel. [...] Today I woke up an hour earlier than I planned, but that way I could watch the new Agents of SHIELD episode, which was very very cool. Loving that May is back at SHIELD. Coulson still loves her very much. God It's raining so much. I don't wanna go outside. But I have to go back to the hotel to get more money. And then I have to go meet my friends. Sigh. Going soon.

And then I went. Got back to my hotel, grabbed the money, went to the tube station, travelled to London Euston where I had to wait quite a bit for my friends to arrive. Because, as usual, I was there too early. I scribbled a bit in my notebook to pass the time, thought about writing another ficlet, but then decided on drawing.

When they finally arrived I felt so happy. Not alone anymore. Yay! No seriously, it was very comforting to know someone. And I could finally talk to people. It was very good having them there. Well anyway, I helped them find their hotel so they could put their stuff away. After lunch we walked a bit on Oxford Street, went to Starbucks, Waterstones and HMV. It was a great afternoon. I really enjoyed it. At around 5pm we split again, because I would go and see Hamlet that evening. Which I was very much looking forward to. As shows my notebook.

It is 5:16pm now. I'm back at my hotel, listening to Absolute Radio. Hanging out with Phil and Dave was great. Finally someone to talk to. God. We went to Starbucks, visited some bookstores n'shit. And then went to McDonald's to eat. Maybe we'll chill out again after Hamlet. We will see. I have about an hour of free time now. Will leave around 6pm. I'm looking forward to the piece like VERY FUCKEN MUCH. I mean, it's the Batch. LIVE! And maybe I can catch a picture at Stage Door.

That was that. On the way to Barbican Centre I nearly drove crazy because I forgot to bring an ID, which was necessary, apparently. Well, I did get in without one in the end, so no need to be stressed about that anymore. I sat next to a couple of Germans, who did not know that I could understand them, but that was okay. Sadly, I did not buy a programme, which I still regret now. It's a lovely thing to have. Well anyway. The play began at 7:15pm.

For those of you who have seen it, you understand me. It is hilariously, amazingly, tragically perfect. I mean it was a real joy watching this play. Starting out with Benedict alone on stage, mourning 'his' father, it was a great opening. It just took you in and did not let you go anymore. I still find it so amazing how much presence Ben has in a room. He has this beautiful confidence, I don't know. It was just very very thrilling. And his voice, dear baby Jesus, his voice. I should actually just give up to tell you about this play. I just cannot fathom my thoughts. It was truly mind blowing. The whole play through I had this grin on my lips, this proud smile, because he did it. Benedict had made history. I-...wow. Just wow. And then you'd think it couldn't get any better. You will stand corrected. The play is over, all the actors are on stage, bowing. And then he asks for silence, for attention. And proceeds to hit you with the biggest and most emotional hammer right in your face. He talks with so much passion about how they had been able to collect money for the refugees and he pleads, he begs for us to think, to truly think about what having a home means. And he talks with this eloquence, those beautiful words. He could've put his sword right through my heart and I wouldn't have minded. Because what he tells the audience after every play, every night, is so damn beautiful you cannot not give something. Sigh. Wow. I'm just overwhelmed again right now.

He reads the beautiful poem Home by Somali poet Warsan Shire during that speech, and I just feel like I should put the part he read here as well. You can find the whole poem here.

“no one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark you only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well”

It makes me cry everytime I read it. It also includes the beautiful line "No one puts children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land." And here's Benedict's speech as well. Watch it, listen to it. It truly touches your heart.

Mooooving on now. Where was I...

Ah, yes. Well. After the play I, obviously, went out to Stage Door to get a chance for an autograph or a selfie with Benedict, or to at least thank him for what he's done and what he's still doing, and tell him he's doing a tremendous job. I waited with all the others. Waited long. It was cold. But it was at least not raining. We stood there and finally after some time the first actors came out. It did not take long until all of them were through and gone. But for one. Benedict had not shown up yet. Not long after all the others were through, a nice woman from the Barbican Centre came out and said that he had already left and, for that matter, would not be doing Stage Door tonight.

Head hanging low, quite sad, I walked back to Barbican Station to catch the tube. I was torn. I did not know how I should feel. The evening was absolutely fantastic and I loved every second of it. But on the other hand, Benedict was why I even came here. I don't think I would've watched the play if it had not been for him. So I was rather disappointed that he did not show up. But then again I understood. I mean, he has a little kid and a wife at home and you don't wanna be gone for too long. I really understood him. So I was really torn. Not sure what I should do with the fact that I did not get to meet him.

I went back to Tottenham Court Road where Phil and Dave were already expecting me. We then went out and walked about the city for a while, then went into a McDonald's and had a midnight snack, so to speak. They were a good distraction. I would've probably sulked way more if I had just went back to my hotel that night. But I didn't, so yay, night saved. Or so.

London Blues

Thursday, October 22nd. In the morning I accompanied Phil and Dave to the tube station to say goodbye and show them where they had to go to make it to Heathrow Airport. It had been really nice having them there. Nice distraction. We had a good day and a half. Really good. After that I went back into sulking mood, I suppose. I was alone again, I did not get to meet Ben the day before, I was tired, I was sad. Boo :(

But the day would only get better. I didn't do much in the morning after Phil and Dave left, but in the afternoon I had to go to Baker Street. The pick up point for Warner Bros. Studio Tour: The Making of Harry Potter was there. I got there way to early, as usual, and sat in the cold. There were lots of French families going as well, so their little kids ran all around me, being French and rather annoying. Well, the one boy was cute in the beginning but then he started to be annoying as well.

When the bus finally arrived I took a seat and waited for it to begin. To my surprise there was a little TV in the bus. I was still kinda sulking about the day before, but when the driver started the film and the melody came on, I was flashed and completely absorbed by this event. They played the first Harry Potter film. And oh was I smiling like a freak in that bus. It was one of the best bus rides I ever had, for the film alone. But it would only get better.

We arrived at the studios around 4.30pm, I suppose. And then I walked into that building and what happened for the next four hours was pure childhood and it tore me apart. The theme song was playing everywhere, there was Harry's room under the stairs from Privet Drive, there were props and costumes and oh my god. I, wow. I mean, seriously. You cannot imagine what it is like going through these halls if you have not been there.

First we got to watch a film about the studios, kinda behind the scenes stuff, with actors and everything. And then we could walk into the Great Hall. And Oh. My. God. It was everything you would ever dream of. I walked through this studio like the biggest doofus, big grin on my face, shiny lil' eyes. My heart exploding.  Because I went there in the Halloween season, they had people walk around as Death Eaters, which was awesome-sauce. Well, I really can barely talk about this whole thing. I just cannot put it into words. But what killed me most of all was the "miniature" of the castle, of Hogwarts. I-....I nearly broke down into tears in that room. Also the train, though. That was a dream come true. Sitting in a booth, walking through the train, hell, standing on platform 9 3/4 alone was just mindblowing.

But what was the worst was the souvenir shop. It comes right after the castle. And you wanna buy everything. Everything. Really, all of it. It doesn't even matter what house you think is the best, you wanna have all the things. All the shirts and hoodies and scarfs and all the wands and the pictures and just everything. I sadly only had money for three things, so I bought something for a friend and the "Have You Seen This Wizard" Sirius Black shirt and also his wand. Because you gotta, right?

But to show you how I really felt about this place, I can only give you the notebook entry I wrote in the coffee shop of the place. Here ya go.

My heart hurts. It's crying. For a time five years gone. This place is as magical as you'd expect. I'm really just flashed. The music, the pictures, the props, the EVERYTHING. It's pure childhood and a walk down memory lane. I really feel like I could break down and just weep. It's heartbreaking somehow. I mean, this were ten years of my life! The first book that was honestly and purely mine was "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". The first book I've ever loved. Sirius Black is to date still my all time favourite character in literature. I am so nostalgic right now. I could honest to God just start to cry. I could not imagine a childhood without Harry Potter. I just can't.

My tweets about it are by the way not looking any better. That place really killed me. On the way back they continued the film, but I didn't get to see it until the end because I got out at an earlier stop. Welp. That day is definitely to be scored as a very big success! :D

All Over London

Thank God, it's Friday. Or, well, I don't know. I wasn't really feeling superb that day. HP Studio left me thinking about my childhood, about my family and especially my dad and brother. But given the time that has passed since that particular Friday, I'd rather show you (again) what I wrote that day.

It's Friday. 12:40. Noon. I'm sitting in a Pret-A-Manger, just had a lovely ham and egg sandwich and still have coke and coffee, listening to music. I'm in London. An 8.5 million city. With terrifyingly lots of tourists. And you know what? I am depressingly lonely. I feel so alone. This feeling of "you're the only person on this planet" is very enclosing. Doesn't make a lot of sense, I know. I just don't feel well right now. Next time I'm definitely taking Angie with me. Or Salome. Having some sort of anxiety that involves great uncomfortability in big masses of people doesn't make this place any better. I mean, I felt great being here with Dave and Phil. I felt great in Madame Tussauds, at the theatre and at the Studio yesterday. But now? In this café? I'm feeling shitty as hell. Lonely and depressed. Sad. I really wanna go home actually.

But, mind you, I did not sulk all day in that Pret-A-Manger. I decided to do something that was comforting to me. And books are comforting. Very. So I decided to go to that Waterstones again I was in on Wednesday with Dave and Phil. I thought I'd find it without a problem. "It's on Oxford Street, that should be easy to find" I thought. Well, how do I put that... It wasn't. I got hopelessly lost. After giving up looking for that bloody bookstore, I desperately searched for a toilet. Well, what I found wasn't what I was looking for. But it was also water and stones. After some time of randomly walking around I found myself standing at the edge of the River Thames, staring right at the London Eye across the river. Well, I thought, at least there would be a toilet. And there was! So we could call that a success. I did take some pictures of the London Eye and Big Ben there because, I mean, I was there already, so why not. I also tried to find the lil' drawing Corinne left me three years ago, but it wasn't there anymore. Which does not surprise me actually.

After my failed attempt to find a bookstore I made my way back to my hotel, grabbed some food somewhere on the way and made myself a relaxed evening in my hotel. I really did not do that much on Friday, besides getting lost.

Evening in London

Saturdays are nice days, don't you think? I do rather like them. On my Saturday in London I did a bit of this and a bit of that. But I can best show you that with what I wrote in my notebook. Because boy had I time to write. It is by the way a wonder that I can still read what I wrote that week. I have a horrible scrawl.

Hello again. It is 2:36pm, I'm sitting at Starbucks with my coffee and innocent. At the table next to me sit four Swiss women, chit-chatting, gossiping. Today I made the big mistake of walking through Oxford Street. It's Saturday, it's London. There are millions of people! And I hate 'em all. It's raining again, by the way. I wanna go home to my hotel again, but I don't think my room's been cleaned yet. I'm also fighting with myself about tonight a bit. I planned on going back to the Barbican Centre tonight on time for Stage Door to catch a selfie with Benedict, but I have doubts. What if he doesn't do it tonight either? What if someone recognizes me? I just don't know. Oh, god news! I can work at FashionFriends again next week. Looking forward to that very very much. Because hey: it's a job. My headache is getting worse in this noise. God, I'm so tired. The Swiss women just left. And I think they forgot a bag. But maybe it's just trash. [...] Also, I'm (still) sad. I feel alone. I just wanna sleep. But I guess the possibility of meeting Benedict could make me feel better. So maybe I'm going. I'm somehow looking forward to going home again. Because I'll not be so alone anymore. I have my family there. Any my friends. I feel very tired. And sentimental. And nostalgic. It's 3pm now. I'll probably go back to the hotel soon. Yes. Sigh.

Well, I did go back to the hotel shortly after. I spend the afternoon watching Leverage and building myself up for the night. Because I had decided to go. I had to. Kinda. Well, after watching loads of episodes of the show, I packed my stuff together and left to get dinner. Which concluded in me sitting back at Starbucks at some point and writing again. Which you can read below.

Well, here we are again. Same Starbucks, same coffee, same orange juice. It's 8pm. The play will end around 10.20pm. And I will creep around Stage Door at, I suppose, 10pm. It's the last chance I have. Tomorrow is none. I checked. I wanted to try for one of the thirty 10£ tickets they sell there every day, but no luck there. No play on Sundays. So I gotta go tonight. Monday I'm leaving. And I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to meet him again. So I'm going. Tonight. And hopefully he will be doing Stage Door tonight, hopefully I will get my selfie with him. Hopefully. This would make my holiday really worth it. Cuz it is, initially, what I came here for. It was all about him. The rest is just icing on top of the cake, really. So without that picture, there is not really a cake. Maybe a muffin, yes, but no cake. And I want. That. Cake. But enough of that. I need to entertain myself again. So writing it is.

And so I wrote again. But I'm not gonna tell you about that. There is too much important stuff to tell about that Evening in London. I couldn't sit there and just wait until I had to take the tube. I was getting restless. So I got up after I finished my drinks, left the Starbucks and went on the tube. I was there waaaay to early. But guess what? There were others there already as well. I took my place at the front, next to two German fangirls. One of them complimented my Sirius Black shirt, I said thank you, but did not show that I understood every word they said. It was way too funny that way. And so we waited. In the cold. The play ended, people came out of the theatre, some of them leaving, some of them standing behind us, waiting for the actors as well. Not much after the play ended, a guy dressed in a purple barbican shirt came out and said that Benedict was not likely to come and do Stage Door tonight. There were loads of disappointed sighs, but nobody dared to leave, because what if. You wanna know what I did?

They said he probably ain't coming out, so I said, by God he will. And that's what I did. I prayed. I said to the Lord that if it weren't meant to be for me to meet Ben, then I wouldn't have gotten a ticket in the first place. I mean, why would I have? And so I prayed and prayed and then began to hum "Our God is an awesome God" over and over again.

The other actors came and went. There was a little wooooing when Ciarán Hinds (he played Hamlet's uncle, the King's brother) came out. He was brilliant, by the way. Very convincing.

And I kept humming the song. I kept doing that. I got my ticket out, prepared my phone, and just kept humming. And then he came out. Oh, he was lovely. I watched how he signed other people's tickets and programs and talked a bit, I snapped a few pictures from afar and prepared what I wanted to say to him once it was my turn. I wanted to thank him for what he was doing, tell him that he was brilliant, that the play was amazing. And then politely ask for a selfie. That was the plan.

Well, he came along, signed the German girls's stuff, then stood in front of me, took the ticket that I held to him and signed. But before that he looked at me, tired but happy, and smiled a little. All my plans kicked the curb. I managed to say Hi and Thanks after he handed me the ticket back and then asked for the selfie. He was very lovely about it. He told me that sure, he would take a picture with me, told me to set it up and tell him when I'm ready, he would sign along meanwhile. And so I told him when I was ready, we snapped the picture, he waved, I said thank you, he said pleasure and then signed along.

I climbed out of the masses of people pressing against me, waving their stuff at Ben, and got out to breathe a little. I started to walk away when they started clapping, so I turned and clapped as well. He waved goodbye and off he went.

Oh he is very lovely. Beautiful human being. Very natural. Very...very human. And touchable for that matter. He doesn't seem like this untouchable figure of stardom like maybe a Angelina Jolie or a Brad Pitt does. It was.... it was an amazing experience. And I will never forget it. I will treasure that in my heart forever. I will.

After that I went home, grinning slightly all the time. Having a good time. Looking at the picture every other minute. Staring at my ticket, stunned. It was worth it. It had definitely been the right decision to go. I would not have missed it for anything, looking back at it. Sigh. I'm being nostalgic again right now.

Looking Down on London

There is no better way to tell you about Sunday, October 25th than to let you look into my notebook. Because that little book that I bought out of necessity on the first day was my always comforting companion through this whole week. So yeah, see for yourself.

It was a success! And you know what? I'm happy! I'm not sitting in the Pret-A-Manger across my hotel being all sad and depressed. No! I'm sitting there, happy, smiling to myself, feeling good. Oh, standing in the cold for so long was so worth it. Ben was very lovely. Wished he had more time, though. But hey, he's a busy man. I'm glad I got my selfie and autograph. Thank God for that. God, I'm so happy. My week is made now. It's a bit of a shame he's not on social media. Would've liked to thank him properly. Cause the man is a gift. He's doing so much great work. But enough of that now. It's 11.37am, I'm sitting at Pret's, enjoying coffee & my music. I actually wanted to go to Hillsong Church but, well, I slept. Maybe tonight then. I think I'm gonna go out of the city today. Check out the nature. Go up on a hill or something the like. Find myself some solitude. Cuz I really don't like being surrounded by that many people. But first I have to find a place like that. Seriously, having met Benedict makes this holiday really worth it. I am so damn happy. So, Imma go now. Primrose Hill, here I come.

But before I buggered off into the nature that day, I went into a grocery store, bought my innocent orange juice and some apples. You gotta be healthy sometime, right?

To get to Primrose Hill, I decided to walk through Regent's Park. Which was a brilliant decision. Because that park is beautiful. And despite being rather well visited, you could find some solitude here and there. It was truly a beautiful place. If I lived in London I would probably be there every other weekend. I really enjoyed Queen Mary's rose garden. They were beautiful. It was very lovely. After I made my way through the park, I walked alongside Prince Albert Road to Primrose Hill. The sight you got from there is extraordinary. Truly beautiful. Enjoyed sitting in the grass for a while and just relax. It was what I needed that day, really. Relaxed me very much.

In the end, I did not go to Hillsong Church that evening. I relaxed in the hotel. It was a good idea. But truly, that day was a great one. Very relaxing, very beautiful, the weather was perfect.

From London With Love

Monday, October 26th. That was my last day in London. And a very exhausting one. I did not leave my hotel room until a bit before noon. Then I ate lunch and afterwards went to Starbucks (as always) for one last time. Had a little chat with one of the women working there, cuz she recognized me, because I always went to the same Starbucks. If I come back to London some time, I will definitely go to that one again. Or at least visit once.

I left the place around 3pm and took the tube to Heathrow Airport. Stood the whole fifty minutes. Then I went through all the check-in and security measures, made my way to the waiting place with a coffee, innocent and a cinnamon swirl (which could've been perfect if it weren't for the disgusting raisins that were in there) and sat down. After some time a cute blond dude sat down two rows down exactly opposite me. We occasionally stared at each other. At some point I, jokingly, wrote the following on twitter: "@ very cute blond guy opposite me at @HeathrowAirport next to A11 with the mac book, please know that i'm a girl and please do not be gay"

Shortly after, the official twitter account of Heathrow Airport wished me the best luck and hoped that I managed to get his attention. He, sadly, had just then left. Which the airport was very sad to hear but it hoped I had a great evening nonetheless. Having an airport as your wingman is....great.

Well, with cute blond gone I was rather bored. My flight was hella delayed, as were all flights to Switzerland, and in the end I ended up so late, that I missed my last train that could've brought me to my lil' village. So my mom had to pick me up half way through. Yeah. And I worked the next day, which was very exhausting.

But yeah well, that was my week in London. The post is terrifyingly long, I know, but I hope you enjoyed reading my crap. Cuz it only took a whole afternoon to write it all down. Hehe.

Well, whatever. I wish y'all a good time for now, until I write again.

Cheers!

*happy person cuz I met The Batch*