#imagine the shit her brother's repressing

[zaczenemiji]

Hi! Just saw your request are open. I thought it would be a great to request a OS of Kenji Sato x Fem! Reader.

I got inspired by that song of "Too Sweet" from Hozier and I got the idea of how good is Reader with Emi, (since she knows he's Ultraman and also raises a baby Kaiju alone) such a Sunshine, even Emi sees her as a new maternal figure, he thinks she's too sweet, getting the idea of having kids with her but having the thought she deserves better.

But she thinks on the contrary, he's such a bad boy with a good heart. If you wanna add more things, it's up to you. I'll leave it to your imagination. Take your time and no need to rush. Take care.

Too Good, Too True

Kenji Sato x Reader

Word Count: 1,456

Genre/Warnings: Established Relationship, Found Family

Author’s Note: Particularly in love with this one, and Too Sweet plays rent-free in my head.

MASTERLIST

You know everything about Kenji: his past—the reason he’s distant from his dad, his secret—that he’s Ultraman, and his love child the 20-foot-tall kaiju baby in his basement.

You guys have been together for a long while now, even before everyone knew him as Ken Sato, the baseball star—the one whose name dominates the headlines.

With millions of adoring fans, you’re grateful you still have a place in his life. At first, there was a looming thought at the back of your head that tells you how easily replaceable you are.

No matter how you repress the thought, the fact remains that it is true. Who are you when compared to Kenji? You weren’t a model, an icon, a singer, or the daughter of a CEO—like all the other women waiting in line for him.

You were just… you. Simply (y/n) in her soft pastel and floral dresses. You don’t own a lot either, just a flower shop in LA. Your favorite hobby is tending to your garden where you grew the flowers that you sold.

All of your issues regarding this have long been resolved since Kenji has always been quick to reassure you of his love. That to him, everything and anyone else pails in comparison to you. He wishes you knew your impact on his life.

You have always been his breath of fresh air. It started at college during his baseball trainings, he’d wait for a certain girl to pass by. His eyes were always quick to find you among your group of friends.

On his games, you were his number one cheerleader. Your friends and his teammates were always so surprised to see the quiet dainty girl that you were yelling and cheering for his name.

Back when his mom was around, you got along with her so well. Kenji would find you and his mom in their kitchen baking cakes and making cute little pastries.

His mom loved having you around. You were always welcome at his house. When she found out that you were an international student who flew to LA alone and lived in a dorm, she almost wanted to adopt you.

But ain’t no way Kenji wanted to be just a brother in your life.

Many things have changed since then. In becoming a baseball star, half of his life was no longer private. In becoming Ultraman, his responsibilities were no longer limited to that of his career and personal life. And in becoming a daddy to a kaiju baby, he realized you deserve better.

You came over to his house every day to visit Emi. He admired your patience with her and how you were always a ray of sunshine to everyone, including a kaiju. And you’re not afraid of playing with her even if she could literally crush you out of nowhere.

You’d come over with fresh flowers picked from your parents’ garden. You’d make big flower crowns just for Emi and smaller ones for yourself and Mina.

Today was a particularly rough day as Kenji got home from a game. You wanted to accompany him today but he insisted for you to watch over Emi. He has been feeling like shit lately, not knowing what to do with Emi and his declining performance in his games.

Upon passing by the kitchen table, he sees a can of his favorite fizzy drink. Under it, a note. He lifted the can and read, “left this up here so mina won’t see (｡- .•)”

For the first time that day, he smiled. You’ve always told him how lucky you thought you were for being with someone as great as him. But the truth is, it’s the other way around.

In one go, he finished his drink so he could immediately head down to see you. You and Mina were too busy playing with Emi to notice him. He stayed at the lounge where he could see you from the other side of the glass.

There you were, beautiful, with flowers adorning your hair. You looked so pure and innocent. Your gentle demeanor had always put him at ease.

Your expressive eyes looked up at Emi in an attempt to communicate beyond words. Kenji loved your eyes. They were always filled with warmth and kindness but when you look at him, all he sees is love.

On the contrary, there’s him. He and his troubled past.

He is distant from his dad, wanting little to no connection with him. If it wasn’t for his mom, he wouldn’t have returned to Japan.

You weren’t like that. You had a good relationship with your parents. You deserve someone who could give you and your future children the same kind of environment you grew up in—peaceful and without the fear of the possibility that one day, your husband might not come home.

He worries he’d be like his dad, absent. He is Ultraman now. His duties would one day require him to be away, sometimes without notice and for extended periods. You deserve someone who can be there for you consistently.

He is constantly under the scrutiny of the public eye, both as Ultraman and the baseball star that he is. And the public is not often gentle. You deserve a private and peaceful life, away from the criticisms of society.

Kenji loves you dearly, he really does. But oftentimes, he thinks he’s not the best person for you. He thinks you deserve someone who can offer you a simpler and safer life.

Too deep in his thoughts, he failed to notice you enter the room. The kiss you gave on his cheek pulled him back to reality.

“Tough day?” You asked, sitting beside him on the couch.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I’m okay now. You’re here now.” He turned to look at you, his rest.

“Would you like to talk about your day?” You asked, reaching out to brush strands of his hair away from his face.

He shook his head. “I’d like to hear about yours first.”

You smiled, excited to tell him what you planned on doing. Since he’s staying here in Japan for good, you thought you would too. The flower shop in LA would be left in a good friend’s care. And here, you thought of working as a kindergarten teacher. You had doubts before but after being able to take care of Emi and enjoying it, you were now sure that this is the kind of job for you.

Kenji’s expression shifted upon knowing this. A shadow of doubt crossed his face. “What’s wrong?” you asked. “Do you not approve?”

“You deserve better,” he said, eyes falling downward before turning away to lean properly on the couch.

Confused, you leaned back as well. “Better job?” You asked. “Kenji, I think this is the bes—“

“Better than a guy who’s got a kaiju baby to take care of and a past, present, and future that’s complicated,” he continued his earlier statement, cutting you mid-sentence.

You were shocked. You never expected him to feel this way. You felt bad because for every time he assured you of his love, you failed to realize that he needed reassurance too.

“Oh no, Kenji,” you said. You turned his face to look at you, cupping it with both of your hands. “You’re a good man.”

“I’m worried, (y/n),” he said softly. “I worry that I can’t give you the life you deserve.“

He wants to marry you, he truly does. He dreamed of having children with you, teaching them, watching them grow. And when all is done, living the rest of his life with you.

When he passes by jewelry stores, he always thinks of you. He’d get in, and browse their selection of rings, but thinking of how you’re too sweet for him holds him back from buying.

"You're the best man for me, Kenji. Not despite your past and your duties, but because of them. They've shaped you into the person I love,” you told him.

“You're a wonderful father to Emi. And if you ever wanted more—if you ever wanted us to be more,” you leaned in to press your forehead on his. “I know you'll be an amazing father because of how you love me every day.”

Kenji closed his eyes, leaning into your touch, the tension slowly leaving his body. "You really believe that?"

"Every word," you said softly. "You are my home, Kenji. As long as we're together, I'm not afraid of anything."

He opened his eyes, looking at you with a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thank you, (y/n),” he said. “I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," you replied, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots

@flowerloves

[daistea]

Hey, so. I wanted to ask about the interpretation of pre-Dungeon Lord Mithrun as being very catty and Regina George-like. Personally, and I've got no problems with it, I'm just really curious where it comes from, but I don't get that read. He was catty and petty and all sorts of unpleasant, but Misril essentially confirms that he kept it all inside because he seemed so perfect and his Dungeon was some great surprise to her. Built on lies and jealousy and inferiority but she had no idea whatsoever. He was festering in silence, I think, and all that ugliness was tucked inside. He was scrambling. Probably imagining himself as alone and unique in his ugliness and failing to speak truthfully about his feelings because he must've been taught that ugly things - like affairs and disabled brothers? - are to be hidden. You're something else before you're a person, so you must be nice and kind and good and emblematic of that. And it isn't as if I was raised in any position of power, but royal houses can be sort of emblematic of that kind of repression of personality, where being small and quiet and smooth and obedient is "good personhood". He was revealed as a mean drunk, but that's about it. Truly, I think catty Mithrun is comfortable Mithrun, so I like to imagine that post-Dungeon Mithrun is the catty one. I think it's funny to imagine our relationship, as it were, and imagine people watching with him and judging people for the fun of it. It's not personal or to feel better or anything. It's just because, and he says some truly out of pocket shit, and I'm there, a little reprimanding, like, "Oh my God! You can't just say that..." and I'm looking at him. And he's looking at me without saying anything. An eyebrow raised. My expression cracks. I look away and snort. "God," I say again. "Oh my God. Yeah. Okay. Fine." Laughingly, "Uh... That's the tackiest, brightest jacket I've ever seen in my life. It is disgustingly offensive. My eyes are practically burning. Is that it?" And he smiles a little. Barely there. And I groan and lightly smack his shoulder. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" He shrugs, "Was it honest?" "Yeah. I mean, I'm exaggerating for the fun of it all, but..." I shudder. "God, it's horrible," and then maybe I get into it, like the minutiae of opinions. Being very opinionated. "And it's worse because not even badly shaped! It'd be fine if it was, like, a simple black coat or something. The texture looks okay, but it has the worst patterning, the worst shapes and colors and—!" And he's laughing out loud. Holding his hands on his stomach, because I've gone full into gesturing and I'm getting so heated about a stupid coat that doesn't even matter, but it's fun! It's amazing. We're having a great time, and I'm laughing, too, because it's silly and it doesn't matter and I'm happy like this. We both are. He frowns a little, and goes, "Okay, what about that shirt?" and making his own statements, like "Ugh. That gold looks like vomit", and we play off eachother, like "Ough. Yeah, and that red with that shade is so bright." I raise my eyebrows. "Evocative." Mithrun hums. "Blood and vomit," he nods. "Ew." We look at eachother and shake our heads sort of sagely. And then I crack first. I almost always break first.

Ye when we joke about pre-dungeon Mithrun being catty, it’s more like he’s catty on the inside. He’s canonly critical and judgmental and angry in his own mind, but I think he also genuinely loves his friends. He just can’t help but be a negative nelly in his head bc insecurity and whatnot. I think if pre-dungeon Mithrun was especially close to someone, close enough to let his true nature show(which would be incredibly rare) then he’d express those thoughts outwardly. But in secret. Nobody realizes he’s catty, but he is. Because he’s passive aggressive and fake lol

I do think post-dungeon Mithrun is a jerk too, but he has no reservations about expressing it anymore because he has no desire to keep up appearances. He doesn’t dislike his old self because his old self was mean, he dislikes his old self because he just automatically dislikes himself in any form. And even then I think that’s subconscious. When he corrects Kabru and basically says ‘no I wasn’t perfect at all’ he’s just stating a fact. He has very little feeling on the matter other than resentment towards his own actions and emotions that led him to the demon and subsequent trauma.

I think Misiril prob taught him that being relatively polite gets him places, it keeps everybody around him from wanting to leave. And if they left then he wouldn’t have the necessary manpower to defeat the demon. So if he makes the decision to keep certain thoughts to himself, it’s either because it’s easiest/out of habit/to prevent an obstacle in his quest. I mean obviously he still says outlandish crap (“Inferior species.” “CAPTAIN THATS RACIST!”) but I think that’s because he knows it wont really matter in the long run in those cases, so he just says whatever’s on his mind without a care of how it sounds.

But yeah post-canon Mithrun would probably be way more relaxed. If he’s with someone he’s close to, he’d point out an ugly shirt. I wouldn’t call him catty, because there’s no passive aggressive-ness there. He’s just blunt. His old self would have an absolute heart attack because iTS NOT PROPER STOP IT YOURE GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE HATE YOU!!!

The juxtaposition between his past and present is so interesting. They’re like two different people, so different but still similar in some ways. Hmm

[atopvisenyashill]

IF YOU LIKE THIS ASOIAF CHARACTER, I THINK YOU’LL LIKE THIS FARSCAPE CHARACTER

i did a “all gays” thing for my birthday last year but i was too lazy this year. instead here is my opinion of farscape & asoiaf characters, comparing characters i think are similar.

if you like theon greyjoy…i think you’ll like john crichton (he’s the main character).

Conga Line Of Trauma

Very loose grip on reality

Struggles with choosing between the family he’s been kidnapped into and the family he was born into

Top Two best story arcs about male victims of sexual trauma imo

Copes by imagining himself as a character in a story rather than face his reality

Pathetic wet cat of a man

if you like jaime lannister…i think you’ll like aeryn sun

theyre hot shit and everyone knows it even though they hate it - the ☀️ radiant aeryn sun☀️ and “was there ever a man as beautiful and terrible”

Well known for being good at their job (which is killing people)

Idealist that got that idealism beaten out of them

constantly repressing emotions

an arc that is very romance centered but atypical as a traditional romance

if you like brienne and/or sandor…i think you’ll like ka d’argo.

Young, experienced but not too experienced military type

Struggles with idealism and what being a soldier/knight should mean

Not forthcoming about backstory

Struggles with temper

Cool And Important Weapon And Mount

Considered mindlessly violent by many

Very weird about romance and sex

if you like catelyn stark…i think you’ll like pa’u zotah zhaan

religious and maternal

pacifist tendencies but also will cut a bitch if pressed

Infamous for being unpleasant

Traumatic death scenes

Questionable relationship with the concept of dying and staying dead

MILFs

if you like sansa and arya stark…i think you’ll like chiana

Their Series’ Hottest It Girls

Idolizes rebellion leading older brother (who ultimately abandons her in favor of his rebellion)

Desperate for family

Holds emotions close, but highly emotional

Taste for finer things in life

Baby of the group

Struggles with grief and anger

Spunky go getter

Questionable taste in romantic relationships

if you like tyrion lannister….i think you’ll like scorpius

mother died birthing him and he struggles with this immensely

tormented by a crazy ruthless woman in power

feels betrayed by a lover of a lower social status just trying to get by and gets real violent over it

The Anti Villain - has very good reasons to be insane but holy shit is he insane

Always survives despite all odds against him

If you like Joffrey Baratheon…I think you’ll like Dominar Rygel XVI (hear me out!)

Absolute ruler who faces civil war

Wildly misogynistic weirdo

Weak grasp on morality

Turned into a violent, selfish asshole as a trauma response

Hates women yet his deepest, most profound and intimate relationships are with a woman he’s not even fucking

Remains selfish and violent throughout the story but also, if you talk shit about him i will throw hands

if you like samwell tarly…i think you’ll like Pilot.

Couple of sweet fools

Underrated for being a bad ass

Intimate relationship with a Very Cool Lady From A Bad Situation (gilly/moya. moya is a living ship btw).

Just wants to be a nerd and hang with his gf (again, gilly and moya)

Doesn’t believe in himself the way he should

if you like stannis baratheon…i think you’ll like bailar crais.

Is he a hero? is he a villain? is he an anti villain? is he an anti hero? you decide!

loses his everloving mind after his brother dies

sad traumatic childhood backstory

an arc focused on what service and leadership means

[SPOILER REDACTED]

HE thinks he’s the straight man in a circle of freaks and he thinks this while being objectively the biggest freak there

and last but not least let’s go to my babies!!!!

if you like bran stark…i think you’ll like stark.

Overwhelming magical abilities

Connects magically in intimate, voyeuristic ways

Potentially unkillable

Considered a sweetie by Local MILF (his mom/zhaan)

Struggles processing a personal loss

A narrative focus on the importance of bodily autonomy

Doesn’t have as much screentime/page time as he deserves

[skippersthecat]

Ok but Teruhashi and Hairo's friendship!? We deserve to see more of it. They are both model students, extremely hardworking (too hardworking please take a nap), kind to everyone, and universally liked.

They are both loved by all, but no one wants to get into a serious relationship with them. They present themselves as perfect and pure while repressing their darker tendencies. They overwork themselves to make others happy and hold themselves to impossible standards.

I imagine they would have such a wonderful friendship. Hairo is one of the few characters that doesn't offu at Teruhashi, yet she doesn't seek his approval like with Saiki. She knows he doesn't idolize her for her beauty and won't treat her like an object. She also knows he's too kindhearted to have any ulterior motive with her. Hairo would respect Teruhashi for working so hard to make others happy. He would also probably intimidate Teruhashi's weird stalkers and beat the shit out of her brother if it came down to it.

[beevean]

I noticed a stark difference between the endings of LoI and CoD, and how the fandom has received them.

LoI doesn't shy away from how tragic its ending is. Sure, Leon survived his encounter with Death, but how does he end the game? Utterly alone. He didn't save Sara in time, and was forced to kill her to spare her the curse of vampirism. His best friend Mathias used him as a pawn (and planned Sara's death to boot) for the sake of becoming a vampire, and he fled with only a broken heart. He doesn't have a title anymore, he doesn't work for the Church anymore, the only thing he has left is his vow of revenge (and, I suppose, he could keep in touch with Rinaldo).

The last we see of Leon is him walking away from the castle with a dead eyed look on his face. And I have seen fans trying to imagine how broken Leon would be for the rest of his life, finding a new woman to have children with but still grieving Sara, pushing his children and descendants to become vampire hunters to carry his vow. It's unambiguous.

By contrast, CoD's ending is happy... on the surface. After all his losses and traumatic experiences, Hector was saved by his suicide attempt by Julia, and the two end the game living together.

But as much as I'm glad Hector is finally smiling, he really has no reason to, considering every major character should by all means be as miserable as Leon.

Hector hasn't even begun to properly mourn Rosaly, because all he could think was killing Isaac, but now he's dead and he didn't even die by his own hands and if he did Hector would have become Dracula and anyway Isaac can't be fully blamed for Rosaly's death. That's a lot to take in, that is a lot of time and energy wasted for nothing, on top of the humiliation of being used as a pawn. And I think everyone and their mother has discussed about how unhealthy it is to grow attracted to Julia only because she looks identical to Rosaly: in-universe, it looks like he's nowhere near ready to heal. And let's not forget that he attempted to let himself die out of guilt and despair twice in the span of three years.

Julia has lost her brother, her pleads to save him all in vain while the man who wanted to kill him so badly simply willed himself to not be Cursed anymore - what kind of injustice is that? And she seems to be coping with that... badly:

Julia: Those hearts are yet filled with darkness. The cursed has reached deep inside of them. Its mark will not easily vanish. For my brother, only death could erase it. (saddened) Hector: Julia... Julia: (hopeful) All the same, people are not such fools. Their hope lies in one another. They shall realize that in time. Scars will fade and be lost to memory... Let us have faith in the morrow.

yeah right "hopeful" she's repressing so hard, the very second Hector starts to show concern for her she launches into a speech that boils down to "eh it will get better soon <3". girl is going to have the mother of breakdowns off screen.

And nice of her to also remind us that Wallachia isn't suddenly a paradise! The Curse had three years to seep deep into everyone. People will probably still steal, hurt and kill each other for a while.

And what about poor Trevor? The story unceremoniously kicks him out of the plot, but he has survived the events! And what's he gonna do once he heals (and assuming he'll recover perfectly from being stabbed from back to chest)? He'll return home with his tail between his legs, his mission a complete failure due to his own recklessness, he too was used as a pawn but didn't even get the cathartic moment of kicking the shit of Isaac and Death, and... you know, we meme on the stabbing scene a lot because it's. well. it's very CoD. but if you put yourself in Trevor's boots, being not only nearly killed and mocked but essentially molested, by being forcibly hugged from behind and kissed on the neck, it must have felt so gross and humiliating.

So yeah. In a way, all of this can be summarized as "the ending of CoD is tonally dissonant and kind of rushed, creating uncomfortable implications". But I believe the consequences could be eviscerated and deconstructed before being fixed with headcanons.

I wrote a fic about Hector "breaking up" with Julia after realizing that living together was only making them miserable. Or maybe they could have stayed together longer, but it would be clear that, as much as they genuinely like each other and can support each other in their shared grief, they are only clinging onto each other as poor substitutes of what they've lost. Or maybe Julia could grow to resent Hector for being alive in Isaac's stead (or, even worse, being constantly called the name of a dead woman :P)

And I wouldn't be opposed to reading a fic about Trevor readjusting again to his home life, but while three years prior he had come back as a hero, now he's ashamed and angry and jumpy, who knows for how long.

Of course this is all eventully fixable, they're not doomed to be depressed for all life. It's just interesting to think about, and I noticed few people seem willing to think about the post-CoD effects, unless it's to criticize the Helia romance from a writing standpoint.

anyway they needed to invent therapy in the 10th century

[sunflowersoap]

I know the way basil, sunny, and aubrey feel about mari's death is a lot more obvious in Canon but I really like the little bits of how they show the brothers problems too.

kel doesn't seem to be close with anyone now. he mentioned that hero is more closed off than before. he didn't think sunny would answer but still was obsessively knocking on that door. he was still clinging onto the idea that he and basil were still friends. he mentions that his parents didn't even notice that he was crying, just went right to hero. nobody notices when kel is sad except hero, and hero is more closed off now. so I can only imagine how alone kel felt. and aubrey only attacks *kel* in that first fight. so he was,,, really really isolated. I think he tried to take on hero's role after he fell into that depression. happy and peppy and keeping everyone's spirits up high. and the more he fails to do it, the more useless he feels. the more he feels helpless. he ignores the problems because he feels like there's nothing he can do to fix them. he feels so weak. so he ignores the problems. ignorance is bliss, and if he doesn't keep moving he'll fall apart. so he doesn't let himself stop for even a second. he's trying to make everything be normal again. he doesn't know how.

onto hero. look at how much he puts on a charming golden child persona. this could very much be me projecting, but I'm imagining he got so fucking exhausted looking after everyone else. he's always the one stopping fights and solving everyone's problems and keeping everyone together. and overtime the anger from that can build up, leaving you so exhausted to the point where you don't have the energy left to care. he's always expected to be the golden kid. the charming, kind hero. no wonder when he started feeling like shit, the feeling hit him hard. he probably spent so many nights wondering what he could've done to get through to mari. if it was his fault for not realizing she felt like that. if he'd done something to make her want that. how exhausting it was for him to pretend to be happy and charming, to be supportive of everyone and go back to being the go getter charming little hero. he must've been so fucking tired. tired of fixing everyone's problems, tired of never being listened to, tired of everything. that frustration of not being listened to turned into anger, and it all came out at the mention of mari. (still really not great of him! not excusing his actions!)

basically, hero and kel both hide and repress their emotions for different reasons and they're such fascinating characters.

[draw-you-coward]

memory of a lover

ao3

The Grove is vast in its bareness, the arching boughs of the Pale Tree the only established structures in the open space. Trahearne considers this now as a brother presses him, concern in his wringing hands.

“I do not wish to harm her,” he entreats. “Say I can shape my Dream, Eldest Brother, and I shall at least have your word’s security behind my sculpting hands.”

Truth be told, Trahearne has no idea what will harm their dear Mother and what will not. “Do what you will, but start small,” he advises. “Come to me if you have any hesitations at all, and I will speak with her to guide your path.”

Kahedins clutches his arm with both hands, squeezing in thanks. Trahearne watches him leave, uncertainty nibbling at his vines. But he dismisses himself with a brusque shake of his head—even with all their emptiness, there is no space in Mother’s branches for his doubt. He must lead his fellow sylvari in their endeavors, staying strong and flexible as a young tree no matter the winds that batter it.

“Another crisis averted by your leading hand,” a voice murmurs into his ear. He barely represses a shiver, turning his head to the side.

“Riannoc,” he greets as a hand cups the back of his neck. It is an easy to thing to give in, to taste the warm mouth pressing to his. It still feels new, this, despite them being joined for many months now.

“Eldest amongst us,” his lover returns, just scraping low enough to be teasing. “Have our siblings worn you out yet today?”

The casual regard for his wellbeing makes his heart swell. “Kahedins seeks only a path forward,” Trahearne defends regardless, not entirely knowing why. “If I can assist him, why shouldn’t I?”

Riannoc holds his face, worry in his brilliant eyes. “I do not wish for you to stretch yourself too thinly, dearheart,” he says. “Kahedins—or any of them—can wait until the morrow.”

Trahearne leans into the touch, although he is caught on how to feel about the words. Yes, they can all wait, but they do not have to, if he can help them. Then again, why does his soul yearn so for the rest and care his beloved provides?

“I suppose you’re right,” he acknowledges, perhaps a bit too easily. Riannoc smiles, radiant as the sun.

“Perfect,” he says. “Make no mistake—I harbour no desire to discourage our brother from his pursuits. He has even said he will shape us a house, though the Grove is already our home. Imagine that—privacy. We can do much out of sight from seeking eyes.”

This time his tone is certainly teasing. Trahearne feels himself flush. It is ludicrous how easily this man can summon such a response in him, when his role amongst them all is to retain his composure. Ludicrous, embarrassing, and a little dangerous. Riannoc probably delights in his mysterious ability.

A strong hand winds around his waist and he yelps at it, caught by its grip and surprise. Riannoc grins, his daring spiking the Dream—he has too much, more than enough for both of them and then some—and pulls him close.

“But nothing that cannot be done beneath a shadowed enough canopy,” he says.

“Rian—noc!” Trahearne pushes at him, though his indignation is spiking to something warmer. Riannoc is—he is a lot, sometimes, and he wants… things, other times, perhaps more than Trahearne would want them, but that are nonetheless thrilling. And he has a way of getting what he wants, just as he had gotten Trahearne, and speaking of having Trahearne—

Roza surfaces from the Scrying Pool with a cooling inhale, shaking the water from his head. Well. Never should anyone say that history is boring. Trahearne, seated on the pool’s lip, reaches down to help him out.

“Did all go well? You emerged rather abruptly,” he asks in concern as Roza swings his legs out of the water.

“You were about to start fucking. Thought it might be best to make my exit.”

Trahearne makes a face like he has just stepped in a mountain of griffon shit he somehow hadn’t seen directly underfoot. Roza grins at him, wringing out his braid.

“Not that the show wouldn’t have been entertaining,” he says, “But I have better things to do with my two minutes.”

Trahearne doesn’t even argue that. “Thank you for—by the Tree. There should really be some sort of censor.”

“I could feel everything you were feeling—woo!” Roza fans himself. “You definitely have a type, by the way.”

Trahearne gives him a long-suffering look. Roza chuckles and bends down to his diary on the ground to note his observations. Strong build, slightly above average height, strong grip. Woo. And a twinkle in his eye that he does not think a commemorative statue can capture.

“It is a kind thing you are doing,” he says when he has written all he can remember. “The newborn need guidance now more than ever, in this new chapter of society. Your home will give them a connection to the past that is ever more elusive.”

Trahearne shifts, always uncomfortable in the face of sincere praise. “It was not just my home,” he replies. He looks down. “Is not. He… would not have wanted it to stay empty and purposeless as it has been all these years. To turn it into a place of learning is a connection to our younger generations he never had the chance to form. I think I just did not want to share.”

Roza lays a hand on his arm. “He was very special to you,” he says in a lower voice. “I could tell. The respite he offered to someone in your position must have been so very rare and precious.”

Trahearne looks sad. “It was,” he acknowledges. “We had our disagreements, but… in the moment you just saw, he was mine alone. Then he died and became everyone else’s.”

Roza squeezes his arm. “I am sorry,” he says softly.

Trahearne swallows his sudden grief. What is it, to attack him here? Not just for Riannoc himself, but for every circumstance they were in in those early days. How could they have known how much they would lose? They barely knew how to live, and then they knew how to die.

“Thank you for agreeing to do this in my stead,” he says. “I do not know if I could have… well, you are aware.”

“Of course, darling.” Roza tips his head to the side, a gleam in his eye emerging not unlike one from thirty years past. “Do you want to stop at the Diving Pelican? The Priory?”

“As a consolation prize for knowing you nearly experienced getting skewered by my old lover firsthand?” Trahearne grumbles good-naturedly.

“As a consolation prize for perhaps never getting to do the skewering yourself, hm?” Roza bats his eyelashes. “Although you did not seem to have any issue with that.”

This is what he gets for opening the gates to the wilderness. “Let us away to the Priory,” Trahearne chooses, getting up. “I am taking advantage of your pass to the restricted section.”

“Didn’t seem terribly restricted,” Roza shoots in right before the gates close. Trahearne taps him on the tip of his pointy nose as admonishment.

“Get it out of your system before we get there,” he sighs, resigned. They wave to the gate guards as they near. They salute smartly.

Roza salutes back. “We are heading straight for the erotica,” he bargains without moving his mouth.

“Deal. But no stealing,” Trahearne returns similarly.  

“We’ll see what you say when we get there.”

Which is fair. Trahearne takes his hand, and they step through the gate.

[the-sage-libriomancer]

i've had dysfunctional Honda family on the brain lately, and i got to thinking about Katsuya's sister—better known as Tohru's bitchy aunt who had no respect for Tohru's boundries and treated her like shit. she and Tohru's cousins are set up as an inconsequential first boss, out of Tohru's life and the story halfway through the first act, and then she's barely in the series ever again. canon-wise there's not really much to be said about her: she's a shrill, selfish woman who's basically a Japanese Karen. there isn't anything more to her character, and in the context of the story there doesn't need to be.

but i just got to thinking—what was she like as a kid? what was it like for her growing up, when she had a strict and uncompromising father, a mother who died when she was a teen/young adult, and an older brother who grew up frustrated and repressed?

Tohru's grandfather said that he and Katsuya were always struggling, with Katsuya striving to meet his father's unfair expectations and Tohru's grandfather (who henceforth is going to be called Toshiro bc i can't keep typing out "Tohru's grandfather") unwilling to accept that his son wasn't the person Toshiro wanted him to be. imagine having to live in a house where your older brother and your father are always fighting, where your brother slowly becomes a different person over the years and your father won't stop pointing out everything that's "wrong" with your brother.

(i think it's also important to note that the story takes place approximately from 1999-2001, which means Toshiro is very firmly from the war generation. that almost certainly influenced his values and approach to life, from the sharp focus on education to how he expected "good etiquette" from his children. and i dunno—not to drag a far bigger can of worms into the mix, but i think there is something to be said about how horrific worldwide cruelty deflates into systematic national cruelty which trickles down into mundane societal cruelty that somehow becomes "just the way things are", which feeds nicely into the series' themes of generational trauma and how people come to normalize abuse.)

we don't know much about the Hondas' domestic life, but we do know this: Toshiro was unhappy with his kids and his kids were unhappy with their father. then the mother died and Toshiro lost what was probably his strongest connection to both of them. Katsuya and Toshiro didn't really get along until after Kyoko came into their lives, which was probably a good several years later. meanwhile, we don't know anything about Toshiro's relationship with his daughter, but clearly there isn't the same kind of bad blood between them as there was Katsuya and Toshiro.

and it's just. Katsuya's sister. his younger sister, the one who grew up beside him. a woman who married a faceless (but respectable) man, who has enough money to take vacations and hire private detectives and completely renovate houses, who looks down on Kyoko and can't stop judging her own brother's child for being raised by an ex-delinquent.

do you ever think about it? how the unnamed sister spent her formulative years in a house that was never at peace. her father was proud and stubborn, clearly not willing to deal with anything other than what HE thought was right. her mother likely tried to play peacekeeper, because that's often what the wife is reduced to in a fight between family members, and who knows what her relationships with her kids were like in the face of that. her brother started out as someone like Tohru, but slowly became a different person as their father's expectations pressured him into walling off entire parts of himself. she constantly heard her father talk derisively about Katsuya for being less than his ideal (maybe even to Katsuya's face). and she clearly comes from a high-status family who have no qualms with being assholes toward "unsavory" family members, if the flashbacks to Katsuya's funeral are anything to go by. every time she met with family—aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, in-laws, what have you—she was reminded that you had to marry the right sort of person or you would be openly sneered at, receive no help or support, and be virtually disowned.

do you ever think about how she probably absorbed her father's ideas of an acceptable life because that's all she ever learned to value? how she took cues from her other family members and crafted a respectable persona that they would all approve of? that she possibly dotes on her family and supports her son's dream because she never got any of that love and acceptance for herself? her life is one of a stereotypical upper-middle-class suburban housewife, the kind who's obsessed with status and appearances to the point of becoming a shallow, cruel miniboss in a story about far worse cruelties and far less shallow motivations.

listen. listen. Tohru's aunt is an annoying person but also one that's easy to read. she felt "uneasy" around Kyoko. she wanted her son to succeed in life. she judged Tohru—a sweet girl who had literally never done anything of suspicion in her entire life—solely because of Tohru's parentage. she loved her father. she thought her father would support her in deriding the "distasteful" member of the family and she was wrong. she lost her mother at a young age. she refused to see Kyoko as worthy of respect. she thought Tohru was a delinquent like Kyoko who was shacking up with three strange men, but she still called to inform Tohru of Toshiro's illness and offered to go to the parent-teacher's conference with Tohru. her own father called her and her children "nasty by nature." she is a product of her childhood and also a deeply unpleasant person because she never chooses to extend compassion or kindness to others, much less any inklings of good faith.

and it all drives me a little nuts because Tohru's aunt is decidedly a minor character, and i don't think much thought was put into her characterization or backstory—she's the shitty judgmental family member who's there to be a roadblock for Tohru, and that's it. but the nuggets of information we get on Katsuya's past also creates a path for his sister's backstory, one that points to a quietly dysfunctional family, high pressure to be an acceptable member of society, and other unfortunate circumstances that led her aunt to becoming such a shallow, hardhearted person.

anyway. dysfunctional Honda family is very interesting.

[murdererofthumbs]

So today’s episode was a wild emotional rollercoaster for Roman girlies. I honestly think that in order for me to comprehend every episode I need to watch it twice, because first watch is always an over-anxious mess, when I just want to find out what happens, and then I can actually start thinking properly when stress levels are down to normal.

But I do have some thoughts based on both the episode and what people have been saying so far:

1) First, I knew since previous episode that although Kendall was full of shit when he said he will include Shiv in everything, Roman was absolutely serious about that. And he proved it! Literally tried to run every decision by her (and that makes me so happy, because he just wants his siblings to be together and work together and be a fucking family). But on the other hand… We are all aware that Shiv will not take that under consideration, right? As far as she is aware, her brothers fucked her over with their CEO-COO positions and that is enough for her to get vindictive and look for blood. So even though I’m happy that Roman remained true to his word, I also think that Shiv will stab him in the back anyway. Because she IS the most similar to Logan (don’t come at me, I love Shiv, but these are just the facts - if push comes to shove she will leak the whole Gerri-Roman dick incident and bury her brother if it means asserting her position).

2) I think it’s becoming more and more clear that Roman is heading towards some pretty dark place (I don’t think he will be able to hold his delusions for much longer, he is falling apart at the seams and there doesn’t seem to be anything that could fill out the gaping holes inside of him). The fact that each episode of Succession is supposed to be, what, one-two days (it has to be two days in this episode at least), means that since Logan’s death none of them had any breather from the grief and pain that this loss has caused them. But unlike Kendall and Shiv who both in their own ways acknowledged Logan’s passing and made semi (and I mean very semi)-peace with it, Roman is not even near that stage. He is still very much glorifying his dad (that trauma bond is holding very strong in there), and I feel like he might also not be sleeping. You know, sleep? The time when your subconscious mind roams free and brings all your possibly repressed thoughts on the forefront of your mind? Yeah, my bet is on pretty strong sleep deprivation here. Add some extremely palpable anxiety and trying to keep everything together and you have a nice ticking bomb ready to implode at any given moment (and he kinda did implode there with Matsson but it was still very much coated in delusions and projections of his own guilt).

Also - the pills. I know some girlies last week were like “oh guys chill, it’s just advil”, but having them flashed two episodes in the row? Nah, Succession writers don’t seem like the type to provide insignificant shots, and in combination with his nervous exterior, Roman taking some sort of pills makes perfect sense. I don’t know where this will lead to, but I’m trying not to be overwhelmed by negative thoughts (you guys really need to stop with Roman-suicide predictions, just…don’t).

3) Last thing is that as far as we are aware, Roman still doesn’t know that Kendall was the one behind leaking negative stuff about Logan to the media. I feel like they didn’t even get to the good (bad) stuff yet. And can you imagine what will happen then, considering how fucking unstable Roman was in this episode (without all that bullshit adding to his mental state)? Yeah, I don’t wang to imagine, but it will be really fucking bad. My prediction and that might be a stretch, but for some reason I feel like it will all culminate during Logan’s funeral (which I assume will be one of the episodes, considering Connor’s phone call and him sending Roman pics of their dead dad (!!!)). Both the shit about Logan and Roman’s downfall will probably come crushing down at the most difficult moment, where he will actually have to acknowledge that Logan is not only dead, but also very much a piece of shit and abuser.

Anywho, this show is a slaughterhouse and I both love it (derogatory) and hate it (affectionate).

[coolstuffiseverywhere]

Revolutionary Girl Utena - S1 E3 "On The Night of the Ball" Part 1

Hi! I wrote this like a week ago, but had to stop mid-episode. I'll point out where things are new!

Pre-episode thoughts: 1. Cinderella references to be expected? or just a take on the idea of a ball? a school dance through fancy symbology? who knows!

2. I just need to reiterate how much I love this music. Not a single miss yet.

3. I wonder if I'm completely missing everything or if I'm vaguely on the right track(or as much as you can be with two episodes so far), and I am willing to hear vague opinions on it.

Without further ado, the episode

Clearly, Utena needs to discover the power of lesbianism. Anthy, can you save this poor repressed homosexual?

More seriously, this series is even realistically gay! Outside of jokes. I am so glad.

Aren't you in high school? and in your last year? I am excited to see on where the (intentional, presumably) creepiness is going.

Sooner backhands then expected. At least she isn't putting up with his shit.

So I guess the rings are signs of having any actual agency in the plot? Considering the rose symbolism though, I have to assume that agency comes with a catch.

Considering the prince is clearly black, probably not. Also because I'm fairly sure that was the magic figure last episode, which I think was in the actual magic, which makes me assume the mysterious Dios? or someone else connected to him besides Anthy, which would make me guess her brother from what I've heard.

What's with the repetition so much? I think part of it is the semi-episodic nature of the show and saving budget, but it also seems thematic. Time loop, or just time fuckery? who knows!

What is this for?

Hi, future me here again, this is where I stopped. Sorry for the wait everyone.

Saionji I expect no better from you. I wish you hell. The shadow here is interesting though, considering how big it is. Is it meant to just be showing Anthy having a secret, happenstance, or what?

Yellow roses apparently mean friendship and joy, but besides that, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!? Like, is this meant to showcase her role as a princess? Or that Anthy is imagining her doing this? That this is her front? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?

Maybe it's symbolic for her upholding the status quo and being a arm of misogyny? idk

What did Chu-Chu eat??!?

So, she's just going along with this because they're engaged, right?

I guess he just wants her their to investigate her? I hope?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? and what do the pets mean???!? They look like Anthy and Utena, but they can't be. Anthy and Nanami? Someone mocking Anthy and Utena? And what are the pets, boys following them around head over heels?

Nanami what has he done to you? I do not trust this relationship at all.

This feels potentially important!

So... I feel like this is meant to highlight people following the patriarchy? or something? at this point. But Pink to show real love maybe? And also femininity, according to google, which checks out.

I don't know how to feel about Nanami.

Not something a picture would convey, but I just heard Nanami call Anthy Senpai??!? Is the student council for the high school or middle school? They commented on Utena being from the middle school before, and those are often connected. Is she a lower year representative? Or is it that Anthy being the Rose Bride gets her called this?

I am really unsure how to take this besides kinda creepy. We'll see I guess? I suppose you could take how understated this is, and how adult this party looks, to be kinda how heteronormative society is pushed onto kids, even ones who are younger then these ones?

Anthy's social anxiety go brrr

WHAT THE HELL NANAMI? I AM UNSURPRISED AND YET TOTALLY SURPRISED! I had seen her mentioned as a character who is comparable but very different to Eva Ushiromiya, with weaponized misogyny presumably, but somehow did not see this coming.

What did Kiryuu/your family do to you? Seriously, that comment is more then normal misogyny, what is happening to you Nanami?

Also, alcohol being casual and handled by a waiter does speak to the idea of this being a symbology thing and also forcing the teens to seem more adult then they are?

This is apparently going to another post, since I'm over the image limit, but at least I can finally post this one.

[happyandticklish]

Fucked Up Tk Shit

This is for my own edification so no one else has to read this lol. I feel like a lot of times we twist headcannons to make the Thing work out for characters in media that we consume, ESPECIALLY in regards to superpowers, and because I’m a morbid little piece of shit I can’t help self-destructing those in my head as to how it would end in actuality

So, I have constructed a list of all the horrifying/angsty ways those headcannons would probably actually end if you applied it to the logic of the show/book. It is put under a read more because I did not hold back lol.

Trigger warns for death, injury, and non-con (I know the tk community is a safe space for escapism for a lot of people, including me usually, so I recommend not reading it if you would be easily hurt by negative connotations in association with the thing; I cope by imagining the worst possible scenarios that the Thing could end in, so that’s most of the reason why I made this, for explanation ahsfjhji)

1. BNHA 

- Denki probably has to hold back anytime he’s tickled and ends it almost immediatelly, because getting too out of control could make his powers act up and force him to accidentally electrocute someone and risk seriously hurting them

2. The Bright Sessions 

- Subscribing to the headcannon that Damien does like the Thing, his powers would act up and force people to tickle him, so he does his level best to repress that shit down because even if the other people did want to tickle him, the sheer amount of times that his powers would make them do it would become very non-consensual on his parts. Especially if they realize what’s happening, or know about his powers, and get freaked out and leave him, making him only feel shittier about the whole situation

- Mark would most likely get freaked out over tickling as it makes him lose control. There’s probably been a couple moments where he’s tentatively let Sam or someone try it, and every time he freaks out, which isn’t great, because it forces him to teleport if he’s around her, and,,,, yeah

- Joan hasn’t been touched, let alone tickled, in years on end, and would self-combust if given even the slightest modicum of affection in that area. Probably engaged in tickle fights with Mark when she was little, and though she understands why the subject makes him uncomfy now, she can’t help but feel remorse at losing that form of connection with her brother

- [I was gonna do Caleb and Adam but I simply can’t fuck them up, I love them too much]

- Damien doesn’t ever tickle people because he can’t be sure if he’s forcing them to hold still and say they like it or if they actually want it

3. Beastars 

- If Legoshi was tickled by Haru, they run the risk of him accidentally seriously hurting/biting her off instinct, similar to when they tried to bang it out, and it’s possible he might accidentally fling her into something or knock her off too hard while trying

4. Durarara 

- If Shizuo were to tickle someone, he might accidentally crush in their ribcage or some shit due to not realizing his own strength

- Izaya probably does like tickling but does not have a single person who would be willing to do that to him, and the only other person who knows, Shinra, has called it weird and forced Izaya to repress the interest more

5. Mob Psycho 100 

- Shigeo probably isn’t ticklish, or at least doesn’t really laugh and react like his friends do, and he feels a supreme sense of jealousy every time he watches his friends engaging in silly tickle fights

6. AOT 

- Due to the sheer amount of trauma Levi has induced and his feelings around trusting others and touch in general, being tickled would probably send him into a full blown panic attack

7. Be More Chill

- The Squip definitely made fun of Jeremy for liking tickling and he had the whole zappy thing happen whenever he thought about it

8. All For The Game

- Both Neil and Andrew probably can’t stand being tickled without it triggering something in them

9. Camp Camp

- Max definitely has never been tickled in his life, and doesn’t even know what it feels like

10. Detroit: Become Human

- As much as I hate to say it (and will definitely be writing fics claiming the opposite), androids can’t feel sensation and therefore wouldn’t be ticklish or ever get to experience that

11. Gorillaz 

- If Murdoc were to tickle 2d, it would most likely be in an abusive, non-con way, often going far past his limits and ignoring any pleas for him to stop, purely for shits and giggles because he’s an asshole

12. Inside Job

- Bear-O had a tickle setting on him that would engage whenever he thought Reagan needed cheering up, and it traumatized her so bad that she can’t handle that kind of physical contact anymore

- Since he was a child, Brett was told by his family that it was weird that he liked tickling, as well as by peers and past girlfriends, so he just assumes that it must be just a weird Him thing, and has a huge amount of shame around the issue

13. Fullmetal Alchemist

- Sometimes Alphonse will stay up late and try to somehow replicate the feeling of tickling through his armor and can’t help the disappointment he feels every time when it obviously doesn’t work

That’s all I can think of for right now, I’m sure there are more but they’re not coming to me right now. 

[futurewriter2000]

The Daring, Forbidden and Evil - pt. 10

A/N: I wanted to complicate this so much but I just love these two so much and I wanted a cute ending. That's why I'm planning to writing an epilog as well. But just imagine if I could combine all of these fics I wrote, I'd have a whole book. Like damn. Anyways enjoy.

XX

You stood in front of the mirror, not knowing exactly how to react to the reflection that ws staring back at you. You didn't want to smile at her anymore. You didn't want to look like her anymore.

He said she was sick but she chose another man, a villian over you and there was rage inside of you that didn't want to look like her anymore. You didn't want that anymore.

You grabbed a pair of scissors and choped a big chunk of your hair. You cried as you did so. You always heard people cried when they chop their hair and you thought that was the most pathetic thing to do because it's only hair. In your case, it presented your lineage, the lineage of family that you weren't really proud of.

You held a big chunk of her hair in your hand and you cried as you threw it in the toilet. You grabbed the other half and just started to cut it up. You didn't want her hair. You wanted your hair. You didn't want her smile, you wanted your smile.

All those years of repressing your emotions for your own mother, finally came to light and you- well, you were ready to literally cut her off. Your hair presented that for you. It styled your whole image, the image you portrayed to be all these years and now you were becoming somebody new. You became somebody you've always wanted. Yourself.

You won't tell anybody about your actions. You decided that. You won't tell George about what you did by telling the Malfoys about their secrecy and to be honest, it wasn't anything new. They couldn't get to it and you never told them about Sirius- which now, you knew it was the right choice. You won't tell the Malfoys that over the break when you stayed there, it was their last time seeing you.

You planned to stay in Hogwarts until you graduate and then immediately move back to France. Your grandmother's friend is a traveller, they wouldn't find you even if anybody searched for you.

But then there's George. Sweet boy George...

---

George hasn't heard from you until he got back. He wrote you a couple of messages and sent them over but there was no reply. It wasn't like he could just go over the Slytherin house without knowing the password that you always told him to whenever he was about to sneak in. He also knew that you'd probably had a rough week over the Malfoys.

"You alright mate?" asked Fred, seeing his brother staring at the ceiling for 15 minutes straight as he only played with the Rubic's cube, not intending to really solve it.

George slowly sat up and looked at his brother. "I know you don't like her, Fred." he said and Fred only watched. "I've wondered how I trust he when I shouldn't- her mother did monstrousities... but..." he shook his head and looked up at his brother. "You, out of all people know what's it like being judged by your family."

Fred turned on his chair and let out a deep breath. "I won't give you shit about it, Georgie." he said. "I don't trust her but she hasn't done anything to prove that- either way anyway." he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I just think-" he was suddenly interrupted by a knock on their door.

Fred and George looked at each other with a confused look on their face. Literally nobody knocks except the Head of the house. And he can't just shout to come in if it is professor McGonagall.

Fred got up and opened the door only slightly. When he saw who it was, he widened his eyes and opened the door completely.

He grinned at the sight and crossed his arms again, leaning back. "Trying new looks?" he asked and you gave him a matching smile in return.

"Here and there." you replied. "Is George here?" you asked but his brother appeared closely behind him, gaping at the sight.

"Your hair?!" he gasped but you flushed as he did so, feeling embarrassed at the sight.

"Is it horrible?" you said, trying to fix what you had on your head.

He took a step forward, blocking Fred away when he lifted your chin and ran his hand through your short hair. "On you?" he quirked an eyebrow. "Never."

"I guess, that's my cue to leave." said Fred as he slithered through the doorframe and left the room.

You came in as George closed the door and as soon as he did so, you hugged him tightly. His arms immediately, as always, wrapped themselves around you and pushed you closer against his chest.

It was safe. It was always safe... why would you ever leave this?

---

The two of you were laying in his bed, quietly and comfortably. To be honest, you felt extremely hot with him but the weight of the blankets were a nicely added comfort. You laid on his chest and he rubbed his hand on your back and your hair.

"I really like this pixie cut. It suits you." he smiled and you put your head up, smiled at his smile and went back down on his chest.

"I didn't think it would suit me. I was always scared to try it." you said.

"What made you do it?" he asked and you went quiet for a while.

"My dad..." you replied and felt his hand stop caressing your back.

It was the loudest silence but you knew he gave you a great opportunity to explain this statement.

"When I came back to the Malfoys... he came and..." you lifted your head up, seeing his eyes watch you intenseley. You weren't going to betray Draco like this, just like you knew he wouldn't betray you. You laid your head back down and continued. "He said I should leave before a war breaks loose." you said and felt his heart start beating faster.

"Oh..." was all he said.

"He said to leave before I get to choose sides, especially because of my family, I might be forced to choose the wrong one..."

"Tonks didn't."

"Tonks isn't a pureblood like me." you said, finally sitting up and so did he. You ran your hands through your face and let out a loud groan. Then finally you looked at him again, to find him staring at you with petrified eyes.

You knew what he was asking of you.

He asked what about us- with his eyes pleading for an answer.

"I have a friend of my grandmother, who is willing to take me in when I turn of age... even sooner, she said. She knew Malfoys can't and won't do anything if I do decide to go. I think for Lucius it would be good ridence." you tried to force a smile and so did he.

"In France..." he said, telling you what you didn't.

"Not really..." you said, mumbling a bit. "She travels a lot and it would be safer for me to go with her."

As soon as you said that, you could feel his legs tense up underneath you. You quickly placed your hand on his cheek before he could start thinking his own thoughts.

You smiled... safely and with comfort. "I thought about us." you smiled with a glimmer only he and the whole other lot could see from a far. It calmed him down, gave him hope for a good outcome.

"You did."

"Obviously." you rolled your eyes. "You've grown on me Weasley." you pulled yourself closer to him and he reached to pull you closer until you were nose to nose together. "I thought about changing my hair completely... my name too." you smiled and he smiled back. "Thought something foreign- like Novak or Rossi." you said but he only watched you with sweetness in his eyes.

His eyes suddenly looked away, blushing away that made you quirk an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing." he said. "You'd hate it."

"Hate what?"

He looked back at you; your eyes, lips, nose. "How about mrs. Weasley some day?"

You closed your eyes in surprise then opened them up again. "You'd want to marry me?" you asked, not processing everything.

"One day, i'd like to keep that option open." he continued to smile.

"Why would you think I'd hate that?" you smiled brightly. "I'd love that." your voice squeeled a bit but you quickly covered it with your mouth.

He laughed at your reaction, then back he became serious. "I want you to be safe too." he said, caressing your hair again. "If that means that you'd have to leave for a while until the war is over, do it."

"And you'd stay here... with your family?" you said, feeling sadness overtake your whole body. Sadness and love- nothing else but it mixes so well together.

He smiled. "I'd stay here with my family and wait for you."

"Wait for me?"

"Always."

[meowdred]

hi i wanted to ask bc i’m always curious about other peoples orkneys takes: if mordred is the second youngest, who’s the youngest? (& if you want to share any other opinions you have on the orkneys, order of siblings or otherwise, go ahead :) but no pressure)

HIIII!!!! thank you so much for your question !!!! i'm sorry this is going to be super super long i have a lot of thoughts about the orkneys (guy who named himself after biblical cain and loves complex sibling dynamics)

of course gareth is the youngest, but generally it goes like this for me

gawain - eldest obviously. there's this line from alliterative morte that i'm really fond of that sums how i think of him really well

"like a berserker he fights in a frenzy for fierceness and heart; fights and cuts down all who stand before him and never did fortune so favor the brave"

++++++ eldest brother syndrome. eldest daughter syndrome, even. i think with having morgause as his mother + the death of lot he was put in the place of taking care of his younger siblings and tried his best to be the role model for them... i was always really fond of a teenage gawain taking care of an infant gareth while leading agravaine and gaheris as children to bed. he's super repressed and has a lot of angst... but i think one of his key traits is his devotion to his family (which of course includes arthur as well... who i think he found a paternal figure in, in the lack of emotional connection from morgause and lot's physical absence)

i think mordred came into the family later on but by then he'd be an adolescent and gawain would be fully integrated into the kotr which fuels his outsider syndrome tbh and the struggle w/ his family. i do think gawain really tried his best to reach out to him though because that's still his baby brother.... and it's one of the reasons why i like the idea of mordred killing gawain instead as opposed to lancelot haha i think it makes the betrayal 100x more agonzing and heartwrenching. plus the fact that they're family hits different for me. but anyways.....

agravaine - second eldest and has bad middle child syndrome, but i also read the wicked day by mary stewart when i was younger and it shaped my view of the orkneys a lot so i'm also fond of the idea of him being twins with gaheris... either goes though. i think agravaine is the second saddest in the orkneys apart from mordred, but for different reasons i think... there's a lot of bitterness in his heart. largely due to growing up with gawain's shadow over him i imagine

gaheris - either twins with agravaine or the ultimate middle child. surprisingly i don't have a lot of opinions on him ? i think. in my ditched retelling (different from lideri and closer to medieval arthuriana) he used to be really close with agravaine but they grew distant as they grew older. i liked making him an artist for some reason i think it's cute + i had the idea that he actually didn't die, he was the remaining orkney after the battle at camlann so he had to rule over orkney something he wasn't prepared for in the slightest

gareth is the youngest. i love making him the baby of the orkneys. i think gawain spoils him to death, i borrowed this from mary stewart again but i also like to think that he wasn't spoiled by not just gawain but also by morgause because of his likeness to her, though i don't think he's similar to her at all personality wise esp when he grows up. he has the image of a young awkward teenager to me haha and he struggles in his place amongst the orkneys. he also has a similar issue with gaheris wherein he feels at odds with his siblings esp their conflict bc the orkneys is dramaland. i don't know if you ever read the brothers karamazov but gareth for me is similar to alyosha where he acts as the glue for the orkneys, which is why when he dies gawain loses his shit

there's also clarissant... who i think is along the same ages as gareth and mordred. though i haven't thought much yet for her bc i only started thinking of her recently i like the idea of her being a lady knight though

and well.. there's mordred.... don't ask me i have a lot of opinions on that guy.

[happi-tree]

hii!! idk if ur still doing the ask game but if u are maybe yeet and/or killa?? they're my kids i love them so much

Omg CEO of Yeet and Killa in my ask box 😳😳😳 I'm absolutely obsessed with your designs for them btw! Don't worry about it, lovebird, I gotchu :D

Buckle up, bc I have a feeling this one's gonna be pretty long!

YEET BIGLY

Sexuality Headcanon: Queer. I'm sorry, Mr. Burch, but I just know him better! There is NO way that boy is straight. Repressed super-ally? Maybe. Straight? Absolutely not get out of my house

Gender Headcanon: Does not give a single shit about gender. He's too busy being the coolest guy alive to care about how people perceive his gender. Prefers he/him and they/them over she/her, but accepts all pronouns

A ship I have with said character: Weeps. Grant and Yeet would've been SO CUTE I'm in mourning every day.

A BROTP I have with said character: Yeet and Killa are the brother-sister duo of all time other sibling pairs WISH they looked this cool together. They always always have each other's back and they're so ride or die for each other in a world where everything is uncertain and either of them could die in the war games at any minute and- sorry sorry I'm just. They're so much!

A NOTP I have with said character: Honestly? N/A I think Yeet should get a little kissy and I don't really mind who he gets it from!!!

A random headcanon: Yeet and Killa end up kinda loaded by the end of s1 - they even have a house and everything! But I think transitioning to a life where they can just,,, be kids without having to fight to the death every day to put food on the table,,, is pretty difficult for the both of them. I think Yeet probably goes hunting for their food rather than buying it at the various markets around them - frugality is a habit at this point even if they're relatively well-off, and the satisfaction of having a successful hunt curbs his adrenaline cravings. How he manages to be stealthy with a skateboard for feet? Idk but I'll leave that up to your imagination.

General Opinion over said character: BELOVED. He is so cool and pretty,,, if I was a teen in the Forgotten Realms he would awaken the comphet in me I just know it.

KILLA DEMALL

Sexuality Headcanon: Shifts between aroallo and aroace for me depending on the day! Girl does not give a fuck about romance. Why would she when there is Killing and Maiming to be done

Gender Headcanon: She is soooooooo trans to me actually. Unbeatable tgirl swag nobody is doing it like her!!! She/they as well but with a heavy emphasis on the she.

A ship I have with said character: Don't really have one! She could pull anyone she wanted to though and I respect her so hard for that.

A BROTP I have with said character: I already said Yeet and Killa for Yeet's, so here, I think I'll go with Killa and Grant! I don't see them talked about a whole lot but I think their dynamic could be soooo interesting! Like you've been fighting for the majority of your life and all of a sudden this new kid gets shipped in and he's clearly not from anywhere you've ever been and he's wearing strange clothes but you can see the relief in his face when he spots you and your brother for the first time. And this kid is so clearly out of his depth and he's anxious and scared and he gets kinda sad sometimes but goddamnit, you want to see him get out of this alive. Even when his brain function seems to shut down around Yeet. Perhaps especially then, because it's nice to see someone besides you caring about your sibling for once.

A NOTP I have with said character: I'm pretty open to anything, but I definitely couldn't see Killa with any of the kiddads. Sorry!

A random headcanon: Killa is pretty good with hair! She always does Yeet's for him and helps him out on wash days - I imagine it's pretty hard to style your own hair without a mirror, so Killa and Yeet will help wash and style each other's. A small amount of Killa's portion of award money always goes toward hair products and cute little hair accessories like cuffs and beads and such - it's something that can remind them both that there's more to life than just the games. And, of course, it gives both of them a few more cool points, which is very important. Gotta slay while you slay, yk!

General Opinion over said character: CRIMINALLY underrated. I love her so much and I need to know more about her. Please please please bring her and Yeet back for s2 Anthony. Please it would be so cool,,,

[beevean]

Top 10 favorite CV characters!

I remember when you sent me this ask a year ago! I was in the middle of playing CoD and I still had other games to go lol. Well...

10) Julia. She deserves more than for being remembered for an awkward romance plot :( I like her coy attitude towards Hector, and I'm intrigued by the implications that she's repressing her pain for the Isaac situation, for the sake of assisting the man who wants to kill her brother.

9) Walter. Honestly for a guy just meant to be Beta Dracula, the dude is very fun! He's like a Dracula if he didn't even pretend to have a shred of decency or justification :P dude just wants to play with his food because he's bored, and he's entertainingly cruel about it, from deliberately turning the women he kidnaps for shit and giggles to subjecting Joachim to a fate worse than death. Proof that villains don't always need a tragic backstory, as long as they have style.

8) Joachim. I warmed up to the guy! He reeks of "cut from development", because his concept is very fascinating and he's so wasted as a random boss. He's antagonistic to Leon because he's a haughty vampire who clearly thinks he deserves at least his castle lol, but also to Walter because holy shit the dude really punished him in an exemplary manner. That art of him looking out of his mind says a lot. Also he has very cool powers that make him a joy to use in Joachim Mode.

7) Leon. A pure, noble-hearted knight, so honest that he won't even take a sword that didn't belong to him, who only wished the wellbeing of his fiancée and his best friend... and oh. Oh how he paid for it :) Leon's story is utterly miserable, made even worse by how he ends his game with the most depressing canonical ending imaginable. My man has immense mental fortitude, and I love the scene where he angrily rejects Mathias' offer of immortality because he'd rather honor Sara's dying wish, unlike a certain vampire we know... but he didn't know that, by swearing revenge on the newly-turned Mathias, he'd doom his own lineage to a lifetime of terrible pressure...

6) Rosaly. girl <3 I once again have to thank Ayami Kojima and Kou Sasakura for breathing life into this character, especially the latter. She's just an aggressively kind girl who will love you to death. Even if others think she's too nice or too trusting, she stubbornly helps people because she likes to do so. And I find it a very interesting detail that she seems absolutely unconcerned with Hector's past: she only sees the good in him, without the baggage. I find her endearing :)

5) Trevor. He's the Sonic of Castlevania. He's shaped like a friend <3 I like what personality we can glean from CV3: that despite being shunned by people for his powers (now where did I hear that before) he was ready to accept the quest of slaying Dracula - he didn't even do it for the Legacy, he's just that much of a brave guy! - and he was able to easily befriend and lead all sorts of people, hinting at his charisma and at his good heart. And of course in CoD he's just sass central :P I forgive his weird hostility against Hector because, despite his cockiness and ferocity, I like how he still takes the time to give credit to his friends for their victory <3

4) Dracula. The bastard himself :) I really like how, by being the most recurring character in the series, he ended up being quite fleshed out. His tragic story does little to justify how much of a hypocritical asshole he is. He loves so intensely, yet so selfishly. He wants his son by his side, but only after cutting his human heritage. He takes two abused boys under his wing, but only to raise them as his loyal knights and forgerers of armies. And overall, you can see the degradation of his morals and even his personality through the centuries, as he loses a piece of his humanity with every resurrection... not that he was a saint as a human, either.

3) Shanoa. Things Shanoa deserved: the world. Things Shanoa did not deserve: all the shit that happened to her :) it's hard to make an interesting character out of an amnesiac without emotions, yet Shanoa is intriguing. This girl who was taken in by Ecclesia as a young child, raised to become a weapon to vanquish all evil yet constantly protected by Albus... even when she loses everything, even when she learns that her entire life is a lie and for her beloved mentor she was nothing more than a lamb to the slaughter, she still wants to fight, she still chooses to sacrifice herself. And by the end, she finds a place to live in Wygol Village, after rescuing and befriending all the villagers. also she kitty :3

2) Isaac. A pathetic wet cat of a man <3 just terrible in every way <3 miserable and bitter and ready to make it everyone else's problem <3 genuinely tragic backstory of terrible loss that makes you pity him but never to the point of excusing his terrible actions <3 how much he strives to be nothing but a tool and dying as one (and a defective one too) <3 absolute banger of a theme too <3

Hector. I just think he's neat.

:P

I talked enough about the guy. I know that he's basically a smoothie of Alucard and Guts. But something about his journey of self affirmation, how he chose to serve Dracula out of a need to belong somewhere then chose to put his principles above his trauma but still paid the consequences for his past alliance and betrayal, the parallels with Isaac and Dracula showing that yes you can fall into evil but you can rise again as many times as you want, his development thanks to Rosaly, his struggle with his own humanity and powers... It just speaks to me, what can I say.

[who-is-muses]

[ man embarrassment is such a wild ass thing because I can give negative 2 shits about anything and everything for a majority of the time, then all of a sudden be mortified by my own enjoyment of something. Anyways, woe! Thought about sinhal I hid in my drafts like two weeks ago be upon ye! (under a readmore tho, still working on unlearning shame djdjjdkd) ]

[ while I see the appeal that draws many to hc Hal and Sin as exes, I like them more as having no preexisting romantic relationship for a few different reasons. ]

[ Firstly, I sincerely doubt Thaal would have any kind of Thing with anyone that soon after losing both Arin and Abin. He'd never loved anyone else before, never had the inclination to share a bed with someone beyond sex, and then he found them. But they were then taken away. Thaal is and long has been the very specific kind of egotistical bastard that thinks everything he's involved in happens because of him, is his fault, good or bad. He's also always been the kind to internalize and repress and bear everything himself rather than willingly seek solace in another. ]

[ Secondly, it’s so much worse for my Thaal (making it that much better for the angst <3) to have had that pining festering under everything else for so many years. As aforementioned, he's had to grapple with heartbreak and regret of the dead before- but regret of the living, where there's technically still a chance to say or do what part of him wishes he did but another sees that sliver of possibility as nothing more than a personal insult, is a very different thing. Even deeper than the yearning to have Hal at his side and be allies proper once again is this awful, disgusting want that he’s ashamed of and that just fuels his anger and paradoxical hatred all the more. ]

[ Thaal absolutely fell for Hal when they were both still GLs, don't get me wrong- but after the mess that was adding a romance onto his mentor-and-mentee relationship with Abin, he absolutely refused to go down that road again and resolved himself to just bury that piece of his feelings for his own trainee. Abin was every bit the hero he was lauded as- but lacked in the intrapersonal department. Not cold or unfeeling- far from it- but often deaf and blind to his loved ones' feelings. Though Arin had learned to read her younger brother and how to talk with him in that regard, Thaal never really figured it out and was left confused and hurt on innumerable occasions. Never once did he say "I love you" in plain words, leading Thaal to just stop trying to get the reply. Unique to Arin and Abin, Thaal let them do nearly whatever they wanted with him- but where Arin reciprocated, Abin tended to be a rather selfish lover and didn't know how to go about aftercare so he rarely put even the smallest effort in. Though Thaal was always quick to deny it, scorn anyone- even Arin- for suggesting anything negative about Abin, he ultimately knew he was letting Abin get away with playing him. But he also knew Abin did truly care about him in return, just failed time and again to properly show it, and so Thaal endured. ]

[ As much as Thaal tried to separate Hal from the man whose ring he inherited, it was extremely difficult to do so entirely at first; part of his initial infatuation with Hal was that connection, yes, but it was also part of why he kept him so stubbornly at arm's length. He was both afraid to let anyone close again, and afraid of ending up in the same heavily tipped relationship again that he would repeatedly doubt the reciprocity of his feelings whenever brushed off or met with shallow affection. ]

[ Lastly, I think it's very funny to imagine there being the common assumption that there must have been Something other than platonic between them at some point. Which is very reasonable with Thaal acting like a vengeful ex- ]