#imagine the pain of earing the love of your death screaming like that without being able to do anything

[a-bisexual-panicking]

something something charles had to ear edwin screaming in agony for what could have been hours without being able to do anything because of the steel collar

[night-night-stories-before-bed]

Breaking the cycle

Warning ⚠️; Grief, quick mention of child abuse, trauma, angst, past character death, let me be delusional. Spoils for Arcane all seasons.

Pairing: Silco/Male!Reader, Jinx & Male!Reader (Father Figure)

Summary; you were angry and hurt after the death of Silco, your lover and partner, by the hands of your adopted daughter Jinx. So you just walked away, needing time to heal. But how could a father stay away when his daughter needs him?

~~~~~~~~

You never imagined a life without Silco in it. From your time in the mine to now, he has always been there. Either by your side, in your shadow or his name being on someone’s lips. You couldn't recall a time without him except when you were a kid.

He had always gotten your back and you his. You had stopped counting the times you took care of his injuries or how many times Silco stitched you up. You almost lost him, still having nightmares about it even after his death.

You remembered how bloody and raw his face had been. You thought he was done for, but he had lived. Lived and with you had taken care of that ankle biter. Jinx had been a daughter to you the second you were introduced to her as you saw so much of yourself in her. She was a bundle of joy to you.

But now she was the reason of your greatest pain.

As Silco once said “Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?” and the answer was no. No there wasn't. For he had died by the hand of your own daughter.

You remembered screaming at the sight of Silco’s dead body as your heart and soul broke. His skin had been so cold when you cradled him in your arms, rocking and trying to wake up from that nightmare. Jinx had been crying, begging for forgiveness.

But you only felt anger and betrayal toward her. How could she after everything Silco had done and sacrificed for her? She was your only child and in a tantrum, she killed the only person who ever truly loved you.

How could you forgive her?

You had left, needing space away from her. Away from everything so you could heal and accept the reality. Easier said than done. Each morning you wake up cold in an empty bed, in a place filled with silence. Gone is the smell of cigars, makeup and coffee during the morning and it leaves a deeper hole in your heart.

The worst are the dreams and nightmares. The nightmares haunt you with the memories of the past of the mistakes you made. The dream teases you with a reality that isn't yours anymore. Like waking up next to Silco, being able to touch his face once more or kiss him one more time.

Either way, you always wake up crying, breaking more with each passing night.

Before you knew it, months had passed. You kept an ear out, listening to the news. Jinx was still being herself, but the tensions also grew. Even in your hole, you could feel it. It was a question of time before a single act blew everything up and conflict would turn into a bloody mess.

When you came back to your senses, grief still clouding your mind, you felt ashamed. You had turned your back on Jinx when she too was hurt by her own actions. You didn't know what to do, how to approach her and ask for forgiveness.

You wrote letter after letter, throwing away each one of them, disliking them. You couldn't find the right words until you stopped trying. You tried to explain to her how you felt, that you didn't hate her and forgave her just like Silco would have. You asked for her forgiveness for how you just treated her, knowing damn well you didn't deserve it.

After sending it, there was no answer.

Through the great vines, you learn that Jinx had taken a little girl under her arm. A child she had named Isha. Isha, what a sweet name you thought the first time you heard it. Jinx was still the kindhearted girl you remembered her to be and you were glad she had someone by her side even if it was a mute child.

Staying in the shadows, you watched over her. She seemed happy with that little girl, a spark coming back in her eyes. It was clear Jinx saw the kid as her sister, but that child saw her as more than that.

Jinx never noticed you, but Isha did. She came to you a few times and you always gave her a little something. Food, toys and even her own little gun once. Her smile reminded you of Jinx’s when she was little before Vi left. Maybe that was why Jinx kept her around, because Isha was just like her and she knew how to take care of the little girl.

You had wished to take your time coming back into Jinx’s life, but things took a wrong turn and you were forced to act quickly. The battle against Warwick took you by surprise, more than it should have. Why you didn't see it coming, you didn't know, but you showed up.

How couldn't you when your daughter was there, risking her life? But you didn't see her. Didn't see either her hair or heard her voice and you feared you had been too late. That she had died before you could ask for her forgiveness.

Then you heard her scream and just ran.

You saw a little flash of blue as Jinx screamed Isha’s name. The child looked at you as she passed you, running, a gun in her hands. Your blood turned to ice as you immediately knew what she was going to do.

You turned on your heels and followed after her. You were an adult, taller and larger than Isha and, more importantly, slower. But you managed to make your way through the battle and reach her as Isha raised her weapon. You snatched the damn thing from her and threw it in the air. Before it fell back down you took Isha in your arms and booked it.

Your legs and lungs hurt as you ran away, little hands grabbing your clothes. You gasped when the explosion happened, the blow hitting you in the back. You wrapped your arms around the child, trying to shield Isha as much as you could. Your body hit the ground with a loud thud and you felt your shoulder give up, dislocation.

Dust filled your mouth and nose, making you cough and sneeze. But so did Isha.

You opened your eyes, grimacing with pain before looking down. The kid was crying, her little hands rubbing her face. You sighed in relief seeing her unarmed. Unlike you. But you didn't care.

You slowly sat down hearing running footsteps coming towards you. You sat the kid on your lap still making sure she really wasn't hurt. Your shoulder was killing you, but you ignored the pain when Isha smiled at you before hugging you.

- “ISHA!” Jinx’s scream surprised you and you both looked in her direction.

Jinx was running toward you, her long braids bouncing all around the place. Tears rolled down her eyes you saw as she fell onto her knees next to you. You never got the chance to talk, your daughter wrapping her arms around you and Isha before she broke down crying.

You embraced her, letting her melt and snuggle against you. You weren't better as you began to cry as well, asking for her forgiveness. Jinx just nodded, whispering that you had nothing to be sorry about.

You closed your eyes, just wanting to savour the moment, but the next thing you knew darkness actually swallowed you up. You woke up on a comfortable bed, a small ball of heat pressed against your side. Groaning, you looked at what it was only to find Isha sleeping next to you. Her helmet had fallen from her head to the floor, but her hand still grabbed onto you. Little snores left her mouth and you smiled, passing a hand in her hair.

- “You are awake.” Jinx's voice almost scared the shit out of you and you froze, looking to the side.

Your daughter looked tired, like she hadn't slept in days. Maybe it was the case since you didn't know how long you were out. There was sadness and fear in her eyes as her gaze shifted to Isha. The sweet thing was unbothered.

- “Yeah. I guess I am.” You whispered, slowly blinking. “Jinx, sweety I…”

- “Don’t. Don’t say you are sorry. You have no reason to be, I understand. I got your letters I… just never knew what to reply and where to send them.” She cut you off, her fingers pinching the skin around her nails. “Thanks for saving Isha. I… I don't know…”

Tears filled her eyes and you offered her your hand. Jinx took it and you squeezed her delicate hand in your. You knew what she meant as you felt the same. Losing Silco had been painful, the worst pain you ever felt, but the thought of Jinx dying? Of losing your daughter to the cold embrace of death?

Oh, that sort of pain was unbearable. You wouldn't be able to keep living in a world without her.

- “I know princess, I know. That is why I was there, for you. I didn't want to lose you like that, not before asking for your forgiveness. I never should have left. I abandoned you when you needed me the most and I'll never forgive myself.” You said, voice low as to not wake up the kid.

Jinx dried her eyes before almost jumping into the bed. She dropped on your other side, arms around you as she buried her face in your unhurt shoulder. You grimaced a bit, body still sore, but wrapped your arm around her.

- “You are my daughter and you'll aways be. Nothing will change that, Jinx, okay?” You whispered in her hair as she nodded.

- “You scared me. When you lost consciousness I thought you just dropped dead. I thought… I thought I had lost you again.”

Her voice shivered as she fought back her tears. You closed your eyes, kissing her head. You didn't want to think about it. You weren't scare to die, but you also didn't want to leave Jinx alone with a child in her charge.

- “I’m sorry. I never meant to scare you so much.” You said, stroking her hair.

- “That's a lot of sorry…” She whispered and you snorted.

- “Yeah, I have a lot to be sorry about… What about the kid? How’s Isha doing?” You asked, turning your attention toward the sleeping girl.

- “Hadn't left your side ever since we got you here. She helped me take care of your wounds and your shoulder. I don't think she like the sound of dislocated shoulders.”

- “You didn't either at her age.”

She laughed and you smiled.

- “Dad… are you…” She mumbled, unable to fully ask her question but you knew what it was.

- “I am not going anywhere. I came back home, I came back for you and Isha.” You replied and Jinx relaxed against you as if you had taken the weight of the world off her shoulders. “But the kid is still your responsibility. You took her in, you are raising her.”

- “Too young to be a mom!” She whined and you chuckled.

- “Then be a big sister to her. Like I said, I ain't leaving you alone. We will manage. After all, me and Silco raised you well enough. I bet I can do it again.”

Jinx had tensed when you mentioned Silco but quickly relaxed again. She nodded and wrapped her arms tighter around you.

- “Sleep. You need it as much as I do.” You whispered and Jinx denied it.

Yet, it wasn't long until your daughter was fast asleep against you. You looked down at her, admiring the woman she was becoming. You were glad you had managed to save Isha, not liking the idea of her death destroying Jinx. She had lost so much, losing that kid would have been the last straw.

You fell asleep soon as well, wondering if Silco was watching over your little family from the other side. You felt a wave of sadness at the though of Isha never knowing Silco but chased the thought away.

Even if he was dead, you weren’t and you would make sure to share memories of him and Jinx’s childhood with Isha.

You fell asleep with a smile on your lips being finally back home.

[sentientfunfetti]

killer!wally/reader hcs

(killer wally and his au were made by @itskorrychang on tumblr and twitter! go support their work!)

REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK APPRECIATED!

CW// THEMES OF DEATH, POSSESSIVENESS, ABANDONMENT AND LONELINESS.

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-

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when you two first meet, he’s wary of you and a lot more aggressive. that is until you show that you’re not a threat. it takes a while, but when he finally does fall for you he’s head over heels. to the point you can’t leave his sight. he follows you everywhere.

due to the fear of you abandoning him, and him being all alone again, it’s only natural that he takes steps to make sure that just won’t happen. let it be locking doors, hiding keys, not answering questions. he hates lying, but if it makes you stay the he’s all for it. some things are better kept secret, after all.

speaking of questions: he loves both asking and answering them…but everyone has their limits. unfortunately for you, you tend to reach that limit very easily. if you ask too many too much, he’ll just…stare at you. eyes wide. pupils dilated. lips pressed into a thin line. silent…then carry on as if nothing happened! try not to push his buttons too much. he’s not above putting his pallet knife to use…

can’t imagine a world without you. you’re the kindest neighbor ever, after all!

loves everything about you. especially your eyes. eye contact was a bit hard for him after he lost one of his own, but after you showed up and showed you were accepting of that fact, oh boy did he love that. he loves your eyes, the color, the way they widen when your surprised…the fact you have both of them…

paints you religiously. he doesn’t even need you to model anymore. it seems like every time you turn around theres a new piece, or doodle of you somewhere.

more than anything, he just loves having you around. you brighten his day, make him smile, ease the pain of loneliness. you’re just so sweet. you make him feel warm and fuzzy. he can’t get enough of you.

as soon as you break down his walls, he’d do anything for you. anything. draw blood, trash all of his paintings, take his other eye. anything. all he wants to do is make you smile. make you stay. make you want him. he still doesn’t fully understand romance, or love, but all he knows is that you make him feel something new. something good.

if you two fight, he immediately comes to you apologizing. he’d break into sobs if you didn’t forgive him, and immediately beg you to stay. don’t leave him. if you refuse…well…

in short, he would make you stay if he needed to. he can’t have his favorite neighbor leaving so soon! he’d tie you up to a chair, and feed you everyday. he’d take good care of you. he’d let you out one day if you promise not to try and leave again. if not, then, it’s back to the chair! womp womp!

also loves the fact you’re taller than him. loves when you pick him up and move him around, the fact you have to look down at him, the fact you can cradle him so easily in your arms, he loves sleeping with you, and watching you sleep. you look so peaceful…

speaking of sleep. he’s plagued by nightmares and night terrors (yes those two things are separate things and conditions). you wake up to him screaming and kicking frequently, begging for his late neighbors to stay, for them to stop. at first, you were to afraid to comfort him, or wake him up, but after a bit you began to hold him close, whispering that it was just a dream in his ear as you watch his body relax.

he loves watching you sleep. when he wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night and you aren’t woken up by his tossing and turning, he just sits up and watches over you. he feels nice knowing that you and him are safe there, together. you’re safe with him. always.

sometimes, he enjoys taking care of you too. he’ll sing to you as you fall asleep, tell you stories, teach you how to draw, anything that puts a smile on your face and makes your day.

when you two aren’t painting or overall just hanging out together, one of his favorite things to do is cuddle you. he loves feeling your body against his (not like that calm down), and he loves looking into your eyes while you two cuddle. more than anything, he loves listening to your heartbeat. it’s something he lacks, and he’s fascinated by it.

he’s fascinated about everything biological with you. one thing he can’t seem to grasp is the fact you can eat…like actually eat. with your mouth. he gasped when he first saw you bite into one of the apples he gave you. he also loves how squishy you are. the feeling of your skin is different than his fuzzy skin. he lets you ask your questions about his anatomy too…as long as you don’t ask too much.

has frequent hallucinations, and episodes where he becomes frantic, irritated and paranoid. sometimes he accuses you of hurting his friends, and taking them away. as scary as it is, you take the time to calm him down, get the knife away from him, and remind him that you’re here for him. that you care. be appreciates this, and most times takes a nap afterwards having spent all his energy tearing the studio apart looking for his friends.

wants to introduce you to Barnaby one day…or at least what’s left of him. doesn’t allow you into the other neighbors houses AT ALL. “neighbor…it’s rude to go into other peoples houses without knocking…naughty naughty…!”

at the end of the day, he’s harmless. as long as you stick around and make sure he’s in high spirits, this can only end well!

author’s note ⊹˚. ♡

just wanted to do some killer wally hcs. i absolutely love this little guy! such a silly little fellow! wahoo!

anyway, i have a few requests to do and some more of my own hcs i wanna do. if you have any requests, don’t be afraid to request them! until then :3

[fortheb0ys]

BOTTOM KYLE 'GAZ' GARRICK × TOP MALE READER

☆TRUE LOVE ISN'T MEANT FOR SOLIDERS ☆

Just some short angst for you, pookies😘 Gaz Nation rise!

CW: angst, talking about death, sex (i wasn't too descriptive with it), not proofread and I wrote this very quickly tehehe

FEM ALIGNED+MINORS DNI

Being friends with benefits was supposed to be a fun little thing. Just sex, no strings or feelings attached. Something to help relieve stress. But to Gaz your relationship with quite the opposite. He loved you when he should have never had.

Even though he promised himself that he'd walk away the moment he felt that feelings were there, he would end it before they grew. He could never keep that promise.

It was never a one time thing. He'd see you in the showers after a mission and be on his knees with you in his mouth within minutes. Or late nights talks under the stars would turn into outdoors sex.

The moonlight shining dimly on two sinful bodies. Gaz arching his back to look at the moon instead of your handsome face. He'd imagine your face if you woke up in bed on a lazy morning. War doesn't ring loudly in your ears. Just you and him. No fear. No guilt.

But what if sex wasn't enough to dull the gnawing emotions. It was always there at the back of Gaz's mind, slowly creeping to the forefront. It's presence became more and more as time progress. Showcasing itself outside of your private time.

Like when he saw how you've became close with Soap. He'd invite you to do things off base, drink or to watch football. Without him. Did you fuck Soap like him? Did you call him 'baby' like you would him?

Questions filled his mind. Knowing he'd never get answers, Gaz pushed his feelings away. You weren't his and never will be, he'd tell himself. To you, he'd be just a stress reliever. If Gaz were to die, you'd never bring flowers to his grave or cry over missing him.

Your gentle thrust ground him to the present moment. He rocks back to meet you halfway. Tears are threatening to leave his eyes. Not from pleasure but simply from the pain the wrecked through his heart.

You'd kiss all over his his face. Fingers tracing over his lips. The loving pecks felt real but they shouldn't be. You look into his eyes and smile. It was so caring and beautiful. Everything about you was. Gaz wished that if he were to die, that you would be the last thing he ever saw.

"What's the matter, baby?"

The nickname coming from your mouth was true heaven.

I love you. Please, I need you to love me.

His heart screamed out. But the words never left his mouths.

"Nothing."

Gaz knew it was so wrong but it felt so right. He keeps his promise for a few weeks than comes right back.

Your bodies fit too perfectly for it not to be fate. Gaz just feels like it's too much of a risk to be together and serve. Servicemen with benefits was better, right? Just sex and no feelings. Pleasure in the midst of war.

Missions were hell. He constantly worried for you. Nearly gotten himself killed multiple times trying to keep you safe. It became such a problem Price seriously debated on separating the two of you.

Gaz should step away. Step away before it's too late. Before sees his beloved dead on the battle. Stomp out the feelings of love before it consumes him.

Gaz always wonder if you felt the same. Did you feel the constant fear that he would no longer be with you eat away at your bones? Did you love him as much as he loved you? Did the way you fuck mean love? You were so tender and gentle, love had truly been there to some extent.

The time to ask never came, though. It would never. Gaz was too afraid if he did that, you'd say, 'Yes'. That his feelings would grow. He was more afraid of that outcome more than if you said 'No'.

Deployment. Fuck. Repeat.

Every night together, Gaz would wake up before to a heart full of regret. Dirty from sex. The smell of it hung heavy over him. The shame faded as you held him close. Your soft snores were the only thing auditable. Just one more time. Tomorrow morning, Gaz would be gone this time. He dosed off thinking of a universe where you could be together without the fear of losing you.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Luck in misfortune

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x reader

Word count: 5,4k

Synopsis: After you get seriously injured by a cursed and saved by Megumi, he begins to develop feelings for you he never imagined could exist.

Warnings: death, injury, language, hurt/comfort

The rain hangs heavy in the air this late evening, thick droplets are pattering loudly against your umbrella. While your summer dress sticks to you uncomfortably like a second skin, your feet move as fast as possible in the direction of your warm apartment. Today’s work was particularly strenuous. You curse yourself for putting on that dress. Given the fact that you know the costumers of the café you are working in after school good enough, you should have known that you’ll put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Vehemently shaking your head, trying to chase away their stupid sayings. That doesn’t matter anymore. At the end of the day you managed to earn some extra money for your family. And that’s all that matters.

In the corner of your eye you recognize a bush full of beautiful orange flowers. Your mother loves flowers, surely it would brighten up her day when you pick her a little bouquet, right? Eyeing them carefully, you are keen to pick the most beautiful ones that match her delightful personality the best.  There is nothing more important to you than your mother. Taking care of her and her illness is your highest priority since you were 10. If you earn enough money, she can undergo a new treatment and her illness could finally be cured. A thought that gets you up every morning full of energy, only to fall into bed dead tired late at night.

Your thoughts are sharply interrupted. It happens faster that you could ever react. Without a warning or a sign, you are being pushed onto the wet tarmac by a weight that seems like a ton. The air completely escapes from your lungs, you can feel your rips cracking under the pressure. What is that? Your mind races, trying to catch a glimpse of the thing that seems to crush you to death. But there is absolutely nothing. No human, no animal, no object. Your eyes widen in horror, a silent scream escapes your lips. Your vision is clouded by blood mixed with the heavy rainfalls running down your entire face.

A stinging pain begins to trace up your to that point uninjured legs. You urgently try to shake off the pain, to free yourself, to kick whatever tries to kill you off your body. But there’s nothing you can do. Instead, your eyes widen in horror while the aching inside your whole body almost drives you insane. It feels like you’re being eating alive with your attacker sitting on top of you. But how? Who? Nothing and nobody was around, you just wanted to pick up a bouquet.

Is this how your life comes to an end? Without even knowing what you’re dying of? You would have needed a few more months to scrape together the money your mother needs so urgent for her treatment. What will become of her when you’re gone? Tears stream down your face in a last desperate attempt to stand up. Your vision becomes blurry, a constant ringing begins to grow louder and louder in your ears. You feel the lack of oxygen slowly pull you away from reality, from Tokyo, from your mother, from your whole life…

Suddenly, the enormous weight on your body disappears.

“There’s a girl! Hey, are you alight?”, the voice of a boy lingers through your weak mind.

No matter how hard you try to lift your head in order to look at him, your body refuses to move entirely. Pain paralyzes you, it’s like you’ve forgotten how to breathe.

“Satoru, I found the curse and a girl fell victim to him. She’s severely injured, tell Shoko it’s an emergency and that I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

He kneels next to your head on the wet street and bends down. His beautiful eyes seem to be filled with worry, although he is very keen to hide his feelings behind a poker face.

“Don’t worry, I will take you to a good doctor, everything will be fine.”

His hands briefly caresses your cheek, before he scoops you into his arms. Your whole body begins to burn like a thousand fires, air forces itself into your lungs again and makes you breathe frantically. You can’t help but let out a toe-curling scream.

“I know, it’s okay. Calm your breathing, focus on me. Can you hear my heartbeat? Concentrate on that. Everything will be okay, I promise.”, he whispers and starts moving.

“I-I…need…to go…h-home”, you breathe out, ribs aching with every word you blurt out.

His heart beats fast but steady in his chest, somehow very peaceful…

“You need to see a doctor. What’s your name?”

“(y/n)…”

“(y/n), I know how bad all of that must be, but you gotta hold on for me, you hear? My name is Megumi”, the boy talks to you.

You find it increasingly difficult to focus on his steady heartbeat or the calming sound of his voice. Sleep. Sleep seems to be the only thing you need right now. Your heavy lids hang low on your eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep, (y/n), stay with me”, his voice demands.

“Sorry Megumi, I…just so tired…Thank y-…”, you breathe out gently.

The last thing you see is your beloved mother and her soft smile before everything went black.

“Fuck”, Megumi mutters to himself and picks up his pace. ______________________________________________________________

He was too late. His shikigami were only able to detect this curse when it appeared and buried your small frame under it. Now, your lovely blue summer dress is soaked in blood and your heartbeat keeps getting weaker. If Gojo hadn’t distracted him, he would have been with you 5 minutes earlier. 5 minutes more to cast the curse out without ever harming you. Your beautiful face looks so peaceful even though it’s covered in blood. You seem so nice, even tried to thank him for saving you. How old are you? Inspecting your body and facial features, you are probably the same age. His grip on your body tightens. It is his responsibility to save you.

“Shoko, she needs help, now!”, Megumi instructs harshly and gently lays her body down on a sickbed nearby.

“Why are you so upset, Megumi? She’s still alive after all”, the familiar voice of his sensei blurts out from the other side of the room.

“Hardly, I would say. What is wrong with you?”

“Don’t mind him, he’s just an asshole. Let me take a look at her”, Shoko interrupts while putting on her gloves and taking your side.

Megumi’s heart seems to beat out of his chest when eyeing his uniform that is now soaked in your blood. Damn, so much blood. You just can’t die. Please let Shoko be able to fix you.

“Do you like the small something, Megumi-chan? Could be your age, it’s hard to tell with girls these days”, Gojo notes playfully while observing your battered body.

“Can you just shut up already?”, Megumi shouts, running his hands through his hair frantically.

“Can you guys stop fighting? That curse basically crashed her ribcage, I’ll have to operate her so that nothing burrows into her internal organs. A laceration on her forehead, blunt trauma all over the body, otherwise she’s okay. I don’t want to get too bogged down, but I think she survives with no lasting damage”, Shoko explains briefly.

A wave of relief washes over Megumi. You will make it, he just knows it. You just need time to heal.

______________________________________________________________

Your eyes vehemently resist staying closed any longer. Blinking against the harsh light above you, you try to comprehend what is going on. Where are you? What happened? Is your mother okay? You have to get up and search for her.

But as you try to raise your torso, a sickening pain rushes through your body and takes your breath away.

“Please, don’t move. Your body is still weak and severely injured.”

That voice. You know that voice. But who does it belong to? You slowly tilt your head to the side, just enough to catch a glimpse. The boy sitting next to you has an absolutely mesmerizing face, his dark blue eyes rest on you. Is this…

“You are the boy who saved me that night…”, you breathe out.

Your voice is weak and battered with your throat being completely sore. Instantly, he grabs a glass of water holds a straw to your mouth. You take a few small gulps, the fresh water caresses your body in a way you’d never imagined.

“Please, you are too kind to me. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be dead by now. I owe you my life.”

Tears start to swell up in your eyes. The constant pain in your body, your life that passed you by, the unconditional kindness of a stranger. All of this seems to be too much for you.

“Please don’t cry, after all it is my job to save non-jujustu users from curses like the one that attacked you. For now, you can show your appreciation by getting healthy again”, he softly speaks out and places his hand on your shoulder.

“Curses, jujutsu?”

Your eyes widen in the light of these completely new terms. What is he talking about?

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll maybe explain that to you another time.”

Suddenly it comes over you. Your mother. She must be terribly worried. How long have you been here? A look out of the window tells you that it is daytime. You should have been home by now.

“I need to go”, you murmur.

As you try to get up, Megumi’s hands gently pushes you back down. Panic blurs your vision. What if something happens to her? When she’s worried? Does she know where you are, that you’re alright?

“I already contacted your mother and told her about the incident. She is fine and insists that you stay here until you’re well. I’m supposed to tell you not to worry and that she loves you. As soon as you feel better you can give her a call”, Megumi explains patiently.

A wave of relief washes over you. She’s alright. That’s all that matters.

“I can’t thank you enough for letting her know. You can’t imagine how much that means to me. You are a truly wonderful person, Megumi”, you whisper and gift him with the most breathtaking smile he has ever seen.

His cheeks grow hot as your sweet words repeat themselves over and over in his mind. And the sight of your inviting eyes that seem to be drenched in love and kindness.

“Oh, stop complimenting me, please”, he stutters awkwardly.

“Would you mind staying with me and telling me something about yourself?”, you request, a soft smile decorating your face.

“Well…there’s not much to tell I guess. I’m Megumi Fushiguro and a first-year student at Tokyo Jujutsu High”, he briefly clarifies.

“What is your favorite color? What is your favorite food? How old are you? Where do you live? Please, keep on talking. Your voice could calm the oceans.”

Again, that breathtaking smile. Normally, Megumi would roll his eyes in annoyance and leave you alone. But you are…so innocent and sweet. Just the thought of refusing your request triggers an uncomfortable feeling in him.

And so he sits by your bed for more than two hours and tells you stories from his life at the Jujutsu Academy, explains the phenomenon of curses, his job, how he even ended up there. You just gazed at him, laughed from time to time, almost piercing him with your questions. You tell him about the loss of your father and sister in a car accident, the illness of your mother and that you are working hard in order to finance her special treatment as she is unable to work. The determination and fire in your eyes makes his heart go soft. You truly are a delightful and resilient person, that’s for sure. You’re probably the only being in his life that Megumi has any credit for.

He watches patiently how your eyelids started to get heavier and heavier, until you finally fall asleep when he narrates a story from Gojo and him. A small smile creeps onto his lips before he can stop himself.

“Sleep well, (y/n)”, he whispers and brushes over your shoulder briefly before standing up and leaving the room to allow you some rest.

“Megumi-chan, do you have a new girlfriend? Look at that precious smile on his face, I think my boy is in love Shoko!”, Gojo cries out und theatrically puts his hand on his forehand.

Gojo’s sight alone washes the smile off Megumi’s face immediately.

“Shut up, I only kept her company because nobody else can come and visit her”, Megumi explains dryly.

“Oh, I’m sure you do. Do we need to talk about…Certain practices? I’m actually not ready to have a conversation like this with you, but-“

“I don’t need any advice from you. I go training with the others, call me when she’s awake Shoko”, Megumi interrupts dryly

“Something’s brewing there, I can sense it”, Gojo mutters to himself.

“Leave the young ones alone, Satoru. You will only scare the girl away”, Shoko replies with a sign.

_____________________________________________________________

The days were always the same. Whenever you woke up, Megumi was by your side. You talked for hours about the craziest things, he even laughed a few times. Your injuries are now almost completely healed, which meant that you will leave within the next day and return to your mother, your normal life. You missed her very much even though you called her multiple times a day. But the fact that you won’t be able to chat with Megumi anymore leaves your heart shattered. Over the course of the last weeks, you grew closer to each other. You can’t imagine your life without him anymore. His sight alone makes you see stars. But you can’t bring yourself to tell him about it. After all, you were his mission and there will be many more times when he saves other people’s lives. There is no place in his life for you anymore.

“I love watching the stars. Too bad you can’t really see them over Tokyo.”

Megumi is currently unable to look at the starry sky. His gaze is fixed on you and how strikingly your eyes sparkle in the dim moonlight. God, you are so lovely. Not only because of your handsome sight, but especially because of your heart of gold. How disciplined you work just to pay for your mother’s treatment is fascinating. You are always polite, open and genuinely nice to everyone you meet. Soon, you won the hearts of Panda, Toge and even Maki with your charm. And Megumi’s heart? His heart has been yours since the moment you laid your eyes on him for the first time.

“I guess the light pollution isn’t that bad here…”, Megumi mutters in response.

“Looking at the stars in your company is so much better than alone”, you admit, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

His cheeks redden almost imperceptibly as you sink into his dark blue eyes.

“I really enjoy your company, Megumi”, you add.

“Let’s search for zodiac signs!”

Your gaze wanders to the sky again while he cannot take his eyes off you.

“That looks like a…cow!”

“I’m pretty sure a cow is no zodiac sign, (y/n).”

“You need to take a look at it, here!”

Your arm gently wraps around his while you point to the sky with your other hand.

Megumi’s heart races so loud in his chest he’s scared you can hear it. Your innocent touch burns so delightfully on his skin that he wants to pull you closer, explore you a little further, wants to get lost in your eyes forever. He can’t take his eyes off you anymore.

“Hey, you aren’t even looking”, you complain playfully.

Your eyes get stuck on his. You always knew how beautiful he actually is, but at this moment with him wearing only a casual T-Shirt and his hair a little messy, you are convinced fully that he is the most striking male being you have ever seen. The little smile on your face slowly disappears, you feel like you’re in a trance. He is so close to you, skin to skin, faces only inches apart. If you move a little closer…

“To be honest I prefer looking at you.”

You let out the air inside your lungs you didn’t know you were holding. If you weren’t already sitting, you’d probably be on your knees by now in excitement. No boy has ever said such a thing to you, especially one you feel the same way about.

“Would you…Would you mind to hold me a little closer?”, you mumble under your breath, face growing unbearably hot.

He inhales rapidly at your words. You want him to hold you? Him?

“I-if you i-insist…I guess I c-can”, he stutters.

You scoop a little closer, your sides now touching completely. Megumi’s arms slowly breaks free from your hold and ghosts over your back until it's wrapped around you. Shivers run down your spine uncontrollably. God, he’s touching you, he’s holding you in his arm. You hesitantly put your head on his shoulder. He smells so nice with his heat warming you from the inside. You never knew what it feels like to be in a boy’s arms but Megumi’s touch is surely addicting.

“Like that?”, he questions unusual insecure.

“That is absolutely perfect. I…have never done this”, you admit.

You have to close your eyes for a second to take in this precious moment fully. Who would have thought that such a bad accident would result in something so wonderful?

“I think you are my luck in misfortune, Megumi.”

_________________________________________________________

“Are you okay, Panda?”, you call across the training field, voice filled with concern after Maki kicked him hard.

Last night was truly flawless. You two sat like that on the roof for a few hours until you finally fell asleep and woke up again this morning in your room. Just thinking about him makes butterflies fly all around you, you couldn’t sit still any longer. When will he show up for training?

“Don’t worry about me, (y/n), I’m alright!”

“Hey, I didn’t expect you here so soon.”

His voice makes your heart skips a beat. Instantly, you turn around to soak in Megumi’s beautiful sight. He’s wearing his tracksuit again, ready for joining the practice. You love watching him training, his movements are so elegant and strong.

“Nice to see you, Shoko freed me earlier as everything seems fine. She said that I can be released tomorrow”, you reply with a small smile.

“Oh, that’s great. You must be so glad to finally leave this place.”

“Well…I am in between, to be honest. On one hand, it’s a relief to finally be close to my mother again and that I can go back to work. But on the other hand that means that I’ll have to leave you although I grew very fond of you”, you explain shyly.

Your face heats up in an instant. You have never told him so directly that you will miss him. Could you meet again? Could he visit you? What does he think about last night? Should you address your feelings?

“You shouldn’t work from morning to night, (y/n). Especially after the incident”, he replies dryly.

“Do you think you will come visit me?”, you ask with a hopeful voice

“I don’t have time for that, (y/n). It was my mission to save you and I have fulfilled it.”

Your heart sinks into your chest. He completely ignored your words and he has never spoken to you with so little affection. What about last night? You laid in his arms until you fell asleep, you would have sworn that he…likes you too.

Suddenly, you want to get away. Away from the field, away to your room, especially away from his overwhelming presence. Of course you knew that he probably wouldn’t as strongly as you do, but you didn’t expect it to leave him so emotionless, that he really only sees you as a mission. “I-I…I thought that I am more than just a mission for you. After all, we spent so much time together and last night I-“

“(y/n), he interrupts you coldly.

“It was never more.”

You swallow hard. That punch in your feelings probably hurt more than any broken ribs. You have to get out of here. You put on a little cramped smile and turn away from Megumi.

“Please excuse me, I go to my room and rest a little. Enjoy the training, bye”, you call, so your words reach Maki, Panda and Toge as well.

“You idiot”, Maki hisses through gritted teeth and gazes at Megumi condescending who looks at you lost in thought.

“Unfortunately, this time I have to agree with Maki”, Panda interjects, shaking his head.

“Salmon.”

“What did I do?”, Megumi questions, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

Maki slaps his head hardy.

“What you did? You brushed her off, moron.”

“Such a nice girl, why don’t you let yourself get close to her? I’ve seen the looks you exchanged. Even a panda doesn’t miss this. And what exactly happened last night?”

“She has no feelings for me, there is no reason for that. (y/n) is just very grateful to me for saving her life.”

“She loves you, goddamn!”, Maki blurts out impatiently.

“How could she? Stop meddling in my life!”, he snaps unusual irritated.

“I couldn’t care less about your life, idiot. I have sympathy for (y/n) whose feelings you have hurt for no reason. Nobody knows what happened between you both, but apparently it made her gather all her courage and indirectly confess her feelings to you, which you have trampled on. She’ll be gone tomorrow, you get that? Can you really live with the fact that she will always think you see her as a mission? You’re lucky that a girl like her developed feelings for you at all.”

Megumi can’t take it anymore. Without another word, he turns on his heels and just walks away.

Fuck, his mind is racing. Hurting you is the last thing he wants to do, but he’s just not good enough. He has no time, is in constant mortal danger and most importantly, he has no idea how to show you his feelings in the way you deserve it. You are so lovely, you deserve so much more than him. Pushing you away is the price he needs to pay for you to be happy, even though it means hurting you first.

“Why are you not working out, Megumi-chan? (y/n) must be waiting for you”, Gojo purrs.

No, not him. Satoru is the last person he wants to see right now.

“None of your fucking business.”

“Oh, so feisty. Maybe that’s why (y/n) seemed so troubled when I saw her.”

“I don’t care about her”, Megumi hisses back.

Oh, what a big lie that was. If he tells himself that often enough, he might believe himself at some point.

“Come on, you can’t lie to me. That’s not the problem, is it?”

“I can’t make her happy, okay? I’d rather disappoint her now than later.”

Megumi’s eyes are glued to the ground, trying desperately to banish the images from last night from his mind. Your cute little laugh, the way you felt so right in his arms, as if you always belonged to his side. He saw the affection you hold for him in your eyes, clearly. But he deserves none of it. Not your time, your presence, your touch. You’re better off alone.

“Well, you can’t make her happy by breaking her heart, obviously. Does not work like that, trust your sensei. Go and talk to her, it’s not too late womanizer.”

With that, Satoru is gone.

“Fuck”, Megumi hisses to himself, hands resting against his temple.

What if Gojo is right, though? A small voice in his head wonders if he really couldn’t make you happy after all, if he shouldn’t at least try. You looked so breathtaking cheerful while he was holding you. Is this really enough for you?

Maybe…Maybe he should talk to you.

You stare at the ceiling, silent tears running down your face. You feel so stupid, thinking that you really mean something to him. After all, Megumi has far more important things to do than indulge his feelings. He is very important to so many people, there is just no space left for you in his life.

“You are my mission.”

But still…Your eyes swell up with tears again, whole body shaking in sadness. But still you had a spark of hope left. The way he held you in his arms last night made you feel a way you never experienced before. Just the thought of going through something like that with another boy makes you shake your head vehemently in protest.

You want no one but Megumi. Sadly, he doesn’t want you.

The hesitant knock on your door makes you startle up in bed. You panicky wipe the tears from your face and jump out of bed. Who could that be? Shoko didn’t want to see you once more today, Mr. Satoru has to go on an important mission. Is it Maki and Panda? The training is still going…

“Give me a second!”, you shout while hectically trying to make yourself look passable.

“It’s me, (y/n). Can I come in?”

Your heart skips a beat. Megumi? Why is he here? You don’t want him to see your puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

“Y-yes”, you breathe out automatically.

There he stands, gaze facing the ground with his hands in the pockets of his tracksuit. He doesn’t look like he’s been working out today. Your mind begins to race. Why is he here? Did something happen? Please don’t let him bring up your previous conversation…

“About earlier…”, he mutters.

“Please don’t worry, I totally understand! No need to talk about it further!”, you quickly interrupt.

“(y/n) I-“

“You have such an important job, so it’s only logical that you don’t have time for such things-“

“(y/n), please let me-“

“I’d probably just be a burden to you! You deserve better anyway. With caring for my mother and because I work so much, I’m definitely quite a burden…I’m sorry fo-”

“(Y/N)!”

Your big eyes stare at him in shock at the sound of his loud voice. Finally, his gaze meets yours as he runs his fingers through his hair.

“Would you finally listen”, he mutters, face turning red.

“I’m sorry, go ahead”, you breathe out.

“I rejected you because I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You are so kind, tender, self-scarifying, funny, sweet, beautiful…I-I’m none of that. I’m here to tell you that you are more than a mission to me, you are the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on, your character is made out of pure gold, I-…(y/n) I’m…I’m in love with you!”, he blurts out.

You can hardly believe your ears. Did he just say that he…loves you? You are truly too stunned to speak, eyes wide in shock as you stare at him in disbelief. Are you dreaming? Maybe you fell asleep after laying down. Can this really be true? Oh, how you would like that…

“Please say something, (y/n)”, he presses out, face now blood red.

Your lips refuse to part, it seems like the only thing you can let speak now are gestures. Without thinking twice you sprint forward and close the gap between the both of you. Your head rests on his chest as you wrap your arms around his torso and hug him like your life depends on it. God, he feels so good, his slightly sweet and pleasant scent caresses your nose just like last night. You wish you could stand here forever, him between your arms, forgetting everything around you. After his cruel words this afternoon, you thought you would ever experience this again.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you”, he whispers into your hair.

His one arm wraps itself around your shoulder while his other hand presses your head gently closer to his chest. You can feel his breath softly strokes your ear and sends a shiver down your spine.

“How could you ever think that you are not good enough for me? You’ve been my first thought in the morning and my last at night since you took me here. My luck in misfortune, the best thing that could have happened to me that evening. Megumi, I love you too”, it gushes out of you.

You slightly lift your head to catch a glimpse of his dark blue orbs. Oh, you could spend hours just staring into his striking eyes, it is so easy to get lost in his sight. Your hands lightly roam to his shoulders and wrap around his neck. His eyes meet yours and you catch your breath as he stares at your lips. Will he kiss you? Never in your life have you seriously thought about kissing a boy. But seeing him so unfocussed in front of you, his breath caught between his open mouth and his black hair clustered all over his face, it’s like you never wanted anything more in your life than to kiss Megumi Fushiguro.

“Can I kiss you?”, he breathes out, his face only inches away from your own.

You whole body shakes in excitement. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

“That would be nice…”

You close your eyes automatically when his lips finally brush against yours. So light, so sweet, so innocent. Your grip around his neck strengthens, pulling him even closer against your body. His hands linger around your back, gripping you tightly. As if in trance, you follow his cautious movements. God, it feels so good, way better than you expected.

He pulls his lips from yours, breathing heavily. You can’t help but smile like an idiot at his sight. He kissed you. Megumi kissed you!

“Thank you for apologizing”, you note and burry your face back in his chest.

Could you have better luck? Megumi seems to be everything you ever dreamed of and so much more.

“This is how I apologize as often as you want”, he speaks out softly.

“If so, maybe I need an apology again…”

Bonus

You sign as you look at your watch. Today’s work is so busy again that it is already past midnight when you enter the small apartment you live in. However, working overtime means that you can raise the money for your mother’s treatment more quickly.

“There you are my darling, I’ve been so worried”, your mother’s weak voice speaks out.

“Mother, I told you not to wait until I return. You should be in bed”, you gently reprimand her and pull her into a hug.

“Megumi was visiting here tonight and was waiting for you. I am assigned to give you this letter and ask you to open it yourself. I’m going to bed now, sleep tight sweetheart.”

“Good night mother”, you reply lost in thought.

A letter? You didn’t even know that your boyfriend would visit you today. You hesitantly open the letter and pull out a note.

Stop working so much, you are still not completely healthy. Maybe this helps. Love you.

Looking at the remaining content of the letter makes you nauseas.

Money. A lot of money. A whole heap of money. Your hands begin to tremble while your mind tries to process the fact that Megumi sent you money.

Maybe this helps.

Your eyes widen in shock, fingers tracing along the single bills. 1,2,3…

It’s enough.

With your savings and the money in the envelope you have enough money for your mother’s treatment.

Tears start to swell up your eyes, lips trembling as you desperately try to hold back a cry. How can you ever thank him enough?

I don’t know what to say. God, I love you so much. That means a lot to me. Thank you Megumi, I owe you my life!

 You will definitely get the money back though

[merbear25]

Request:

Reader wakes up strapped to a table. She thinks it's sleep paralysis, but it really isn't. And then Caesar basically experiments to his heart's content. I don't know why reader woke up in this state, you get to imagine the reason, or perhaps it's unknown. I'd like it if Caesar talks like someone trying to calm a child down, while still making no effort to hide his sadism (not age play, but more like "good girl" and stuff like that)

I got the idea from my own inner fear of waking up during surgery, sleep paralysis and similar situations. I am weirdly into mixing these nightmare scenarios with the person I love the most, Caesar. Mixing pleasure with pain is well known, but I want to mix it with fear of death too! And Caesar is just amazing, he can kill you in mere seconds and still be super comedic in other situations!

Hello! I adore writing things like this, and I couldn't agree more. One of the things I love about him is that although he can be really goofy, he's extremely lethal. I hope you like what I've written for you. 💜💜

The sounds of drilling faded in and out. Your eyes fluttered open but fell soon after. Blinding lights above and a shadowy figure looming in the corners just out of reach before you slipped back into unconsciousness. A rare opportunity had presented itself to him, and you took center stage in his twisted fascination.

CW: fem!reader in mind because of ‘good girl’ but no other gendered language is used, very suggestive, mentions of experimentation, surgery, and the threat of death.

The reason I lie awake at night (Caesar)

Images of the reaper stalked your dreams. Hidden behind thick swamp fog, his dark shadow looming in the distance sent your resting heart into a fit of terror. The thumping against your chest, the pumping of adrenaline in your veins, the bead of sweat running down your temple: you were riddled with fear that kept you cemented to the murky sludge; the gunk rose the closer he got. Approaching through the parting clouds which flooded the earth was a smile that beamed with unnerving pleasure. It paired with golden eyes that shined from even the faintest glimmer of light.

Any attempt to flee that who hunted you when at your weakest was in vain. The muddy waters of the swamp continued to thicken and solidify around your legs, inducing a panic that the personification of death was eager to lap up. A sharp inhale to taste your sweetened scent of torment now lingered on his tongue. He licked his lips slightly as your eyes widened from the sheer size of him towering over you. Long dark flowing hair cascaded down your sides as he leaned in to whisper words void of genuine empathy.

“Shhhh, there, there. Don’t get yourself so worked up,” he hushed. Without having touched you, you felt the extension of his hand caressing the side of your face. Your chest tightened from it as you struggled with comprehending your own reactions to him.

No words could be formed, and yet you could hear yourself screaming at him to stay away. Trapped in limbo—you were abandoned here feeling as if this was your eternal resting ground: the upturned land in which you were meant to rot. Soft hums trailed into your ears. The soothing sounds and gentle touches left your mouth dry.

His fingers ghosted your jugular; its delicate pulse quickening under them made his smile more sinister. Teeth borne down at you and a gaze that held a piqued interest: the air around you grew frigid. Puffs of your breath were kept short and faint as the cold grew more and more bitter. Drilling sounded in the distance as his grip on your neck became firm. Your breath caught in your throat from the teasing pain burrowing down to your core.

While his fingers laced around your fragile neck, your gasps turned into choked moans the tighter he held on. Slight jostling from above carried no searing burns, but the discomfort from them shook down your frame. Soft whimpers were barely audible, each being sucked straight from your lungs by the king ruling over the land of the dead.

“Oh, how fascinating you are.” His deep, velvety voice made your eyes roll back. Strangled cries escaped you but that was the only thing that obtained freedom.

The fog was settling as darkness crept further into purgatory. The shadows from before completely engulfed you for a moment—a total black out. Soft praises from him allowed a light to flicker on. Its ray spread across your limp form. Rumbling laughs were half-heartedly suppressed, while the drilling remained consistent. When it suddenly stopped, only your trembling breaths could be heard.

“Good, very good.” Such drawn out praise coiled around you, snaking up your bare legs and teasing that knot tightening deep within. “Good girl,” he cooed. A shrill laugh followed suit, when your legs trembled. 

The quaking of your now tired state was jostled awake. A deep gasp filled your lungs and your body tensed from the waves of electricity coursing through you. Your vision went white before smearing into a blurred contortion, and while your lashes batted, the room shifted. You could feel a slab of metal beneath you and the light above reflecting off of it made you wince. Lazily turning your head from side to side lured the reaper out of hiding.

Gloved hands straddled the sides of the table as he eased himself down, his lips ghosting your ear. “Don’t move. We wouldn’t want any accidents, now would we?”

“N-No…” Was all you could muster.

He brushed your hair off your face and grinned at you with half-lidded eyes. A sharp jab in your arm was promptly followed by his soothing whispers. “This will make it so you don’t feel a thing. Just let yourself dream. It’ll all be over soon.”

Your protest was muffled as you slipped back into the cold grip of despair. The sounds of clinks and clanks were the only visitors this time round.

Strings of wire blended in with your hair as the monitor flashed images of your twisted nightmares. You were perfectly punctured in the ideal places on that pretty head of yours. Admiring his own handiwork with a smirk, he sighed and brought his attention to the screen. The only one within his grasp that was plagued with tantalizing misfortune, your horrors were his playground for as long as they intrigued him.

Swirling masses of creatures that threatened to tear you into fragments of your former self were all a ruse, figments of your cruel imagination, and yet to you they were as real as life itself. He glanced down at you. Your pulse was raised, and your breath was sporadic. Testing the theory he was mulling over, he reached out to touch you. His fingers ran their way up the dip of your hip and the subtle curve of your waist. Your breathing was becoming more regular, so he turned back towards the monitor.

The creatures were kept at bay, though still present. Their roars of blood lust morphed into shrieks of agony the more he caressed you. Even with this nightmare being witnessed through your eyes, the gentle sways of your head and heaviness in your limbs were experienced like they were his own. Disorienting but not foreboding, his curiosity was piqued further.

“You’re doing so well.” The furrow in your brow was subtle but didn’t go unnoticed. That sly grin stretched his purple lips again. “Such a good girl.” He hung on those last two words like he was savoring them. Accompanying the ill-intentioned praise with a squeeze to your hand caused cracks in the enclosing darkness to form. Speckled rays of light being played out in front of him made him huff in amusement.

This sensation of calmness, peace, and tranquility…how naive of you to find these in him. With his smile having faded, a stern expression took its place. His fingers danced upon your skin, relishing the twitches they coaxed out of your body. Your lips quivered the closer they got to your face, and your eyes darted rapidly behind your eyelids. Taking his hand away for a moment, the fog returned to the trance he forced you into.

The outline of your bottom lip was then graced with the curvature of his index finger. Those golden globes that brought upon both mercy and peril burned into you. Your soft sigh was warm, inviting even. Snapping his hand away, he typed furiously on the computer. The urgency to record his findings thus far struck each key without a moment’s hesitation. 

A screen recording was put into place, and the security camera above made you the star of the show. Without bothering to throw another glance your way, he turned to leave the room. Slapping his hand over the switch, the automatic doors sealed you in the metal tomb, which granted access to the corners of your darkest fears to eat away at you.

[of-worms-and-fibers]

The Winners

Tsu and Shinya rebelling against The Capitol's rules and making a risky decision Angst, pure love, god are they in love, sad Word count: 815

Shinya’s cursing screams filled the already tense air around Tsunagu who just stood by the Cornucopia, frozen, his ears ringing with an overwhelming flood of emotions. Mainly anger. But not surprise. He and Shinya had just won the Hunger Games, or so they’d thought until those in charge decided to change the rules.

He wasn’t scared to die. He wasn’t even hesitant to, having danced with death so many times that the idea of finally giving in to his kiss as well didn’t seem bad at all. At least then he wouldn’t have to see Shinya cry ever again. But it didn’t change the fact that the other wouldn’t want to keep on living after the blonde died. After all, that’s what neither of them wanted. And if they got separated like that… it wouldn’t stay that way for long. Both of them knew that.

But it didn’t stop the gray-haired man from grabbing Tsunagu by the collar, breath ragged from screaming and crying; his eyes filled with pain and anger and tears as he spoke. It was hard for the blonde to understand through his own thoughts:

“Tsu! You better fucking kill me! I am not killing you! I could never I- I would never be..”

This pain.  In his eyes. His voice. The quivering of his lips. They were something Tsunagu had promised to never witness from his husband again and yet, those very things brought a small smile onto his face; his hand slowly rising to cup Shinya’s cheek:

“My dear.”

His voice was calm and soothing, almost as though he was just calming the other down from forgetting their anniversary. The other halted, the anger on his face dropping into confusion until he saw the nightlock in the blonde’s free hand. 

“My heart could never bear to even cause you a single scratch. And I know yours couldn’t either. This may work... or it may not. But I refuse to be without you for even a second.”

The poisonous berries were quickly shared between them, each one receiving half a handful, with no expectations. Either they would win the games together or they would die together, their trust in each other so large there was not a single trace of doubt that either of those scenarios would happen. Holding their solution securely, they shared a long kiss; it wasn't wild or passionate, but it was long and assuring, calming, loving, all those things they needed. Filled with silent apologies for everything they'd ever done wrong. Full of the love they might never share again. Full of pain of just being in a world that wanted to see them suffer so badly. A world that wanted to see them broken and shattered like a pair of decorative glasses that rich people didn’t see the need to be gentle with because they could be replaced oh so easily.

I love you’s very exchanged before the two of them raised the berries to their mouths. Slowly, in hopes of being stopped by the announcement of having won together. But the arena was silent, the only thing audible being the wind howling through the trees and the rapid beating of their hearts. The berries felt cool in their mouths, just the same as freshly picked blueberries would, and for a moment, they two imagined just that. Being on a date. Eating blueberries. Just the taste was off, bitter and loveless, and a soft chuckle briefly escaped Tsunagu as he saw his husband's scrunched face of disgust. He was so adorable, much too kind and sweet for the world they’d unfairly been put into.

They dropped together, next to each other, faces turned to keep the most beautiful person each of knew in sight for as long as this would take. A beautiful face. Beautiful eyes. A beautiful, soft, sad, apologizing smile for each other. Tsunagu weakly reached up to push some hair from his face, still wanting to look good for Shinya, for his love, but his body was already too weak to let him go further than his chest, where his hand dropped with a quiet thud. He observed the other for a bit longer, just as long as it took for Shinya’s chest to stop its increasingly weak pattern of rising and falling before he closed his eyes.

The cannon shots that followed were assuring. Assuring that they’d let him die at last. Allow his shattered heart to stop beating, next to his husband, and, the cherry on top, the knowledge that a game with no victors was sure to cause the Capitol even just a fraction of the inconvenience they deserved. Just a fraction of problems at such a high cost. But the blonde refused to be disappointed now. The soft smile still played on his lips as his heart finally came to a halt. 

They had won. In their own way.

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 89 - folding laundry

Oh yeah, prickly Jon is back! I love how he talks to Jude here right at the start of the episode.

What kind of jacket/coat do you think Jon was wearing - go! (I have a black and white, kitty-themed lolita style winter coat, with paws, a bell and cat ears! I like to imagine it's something like this! I think Georgie totally would wear a kitty coat!)

JUDE "Suppose it’s not really me, is it? Would you rather be a really stupid piece of firewood?" - First the lamb at the Butcher shop metaphor, now this. Jude is openly telling Jon she intends to hurt/possibly kill him. (And Jon's not having it xD)

This annoyed-teen voice really fits the character! But I hate it when people talk like that ^^''

JON "I’m sure the Forestry Commission were mortified. Why?" JUDE "… Stop that! And it was because Nikola Orsinov asked us to." - With Daisy in MAG 61 it was easy to miss but now it is very clearly visible Jon's doing something to people when he asks them…

JON "I have a god too, right?" JUDE "Is that another joke?" JON "N-No, I… I’m new to this. Everyone keeps calling me ‘Archivist”, like I’m special, and that… that I serve the Eye. Trying to kill me for it." - Oh god, I know, Jon has no one to ask about this stuff, but Jude really is not a good person for that job… He's like the new kid in a school and accidentally runs into one of the bullies and it will just end in Jon being shoved into his locker… (oh no, wait, that would be Breekon & Hope's thing xD Ok, let's say he gets his lunch money beat out of him by Jude?)

JUDE "Oh please, your god is nothing! The Eye, Beholding, Ceaseless Watcher, whatever you call it, that’s all it does, it watches and knows, sitting bulbous and comfortable in the ignorance of infinite knowledge." - I think it's satisfying that in the end the Eye gets to rule the apocalypse. Just you wait, Jude, and you'll see what "just watching" can do to you.

Uh, another of the Smirke'ian names gets revealed.

When talking about Elias killing Gertrude and doing everyone a favor with this and Elias clearly wanting Jon alive I think about how funny it is, that all the avatars act like they're this cool kids club, even if in different gangs, some closer, some not so much.

JON "So… so tell me the story of why you wanted Gertrude – AH – AAH!" [SOUND OF SIZZLING] JUDE "Try to compel me again, and I’ll burn it out your mouth." - Now she even openly says that Jon somehow compels her.

JON "Fine. Fine! Keep your damn secrets." - OMG, isn't there that Frodo-keep-your-secrets-meme of this episode somewhere??

JON "Recorded direct from subject, April 24th, 2017." - It's been more than 2 months since Leitner's death!

JUDE "But as I touched her face, she remained still, and instead my hand sank into it like softened candle wax." / "I probably don’t need to describe how much it hurt. It would be a long time before I was able to use the hand again." - Basically what awaits Jon in about 10 minutes.

You know what I also don't like about Jude (and this is, like the tone in her voice, just personal preference)? I HATE when people talk like that about god or gods or whatever! I mentioned this before, that I don't like cult structures in stories and rambling almost deliriously about their fascination. Reminded me very much of The Silt Verses here. (This is also probably the reason, why I can't get into TSV…)

JUDE "And so I ended it. For all the agony and pain on Gretchen’s face, she didn’t seem surprised when I doused myself in kerosene and set it alight." - Crossing over into full avatar-hood, choosing literal death.

JUDE "You have your god, as I have mine. Feed it, fearlessly and without hesitation, or it will feed on you." - This was actually a very helpful and practical information.

Lol, I love when stories can makes jokes about themselves XD Michael, which one??

Yay, I remembered to turn the volume down at the end. I remember listen to this putting away laundry and suddenly Jon screams into my ear…

As someone who thinks Jon deserves all of the cat-themed clothing I love picturing him in a coat like that.

For all Jude’s… horribleness she did give him some very useful advice, yeah.

I always have to turn the volume down at the end of this episode too, it’s so loud!

[lustagel]

PRETTY SMILE : ETHAN LANDRY

 ❜୧ all ethan had to do was make friends with them and get them to trust him before he could stab into their chest until he felt they suffered enough. he loved the thought— even daydreamed about it, but why couldn’t he do the same for you?

c. dark content. chad x f! reader (platonic) no characteristics of reader besides you being mindy and chad’s sister. black reader in mind just because of that simple reason. talks of killing, death, blood, knifes and every other ghostface thing. parties. swearing.

ethan’s eyes scanned across the room—looking for no one in particular. the music played loudly throughout the house as minutes passed that he stood in the doorway with a stupid robot costume on. he didn’t know what was stupider: the fact he was wearing the thing or the jock that he was waiting on to bring in a drink from the kitchen. he couldn’t decide and he choose to not debate too much in his head.

not because he didn’t want to but because he was quickly distracted by seeing one of his soon to be victims in the crowd ahead. he always thought about how they will never know they’re dying soon until the knife is pushing it’s way into their body and they’re screaming for their lives.

as ethan stood, leaning on the doorway, he imagined driving his knife into anika, hearing her scream then slowly pulling the knife out to make her scream more. she’s probably screaming out mindy’s name for help and beg for ethan to stop but he’d thrive off her screams and pain.

ethan would continue to imagine the murder while anika continued to talk to someone in the crowd who he couldn’t spot because of the two people standing in the way. suddenly and somewhat sadly, the people two people move and ethan’s able to see who it is. he could only sigh at the sight of you—not in disappointment, just in frustration.

ethan could imagine the way he would kill everyone, everyone being the rest of your fucked up friend group, but you. he couldn’t think of one scenario without him wanting to wipe the tears from your pretty face and tell you everything’s gonna be alright. “who you looking at, pretty boy?” ethan hears a whisper in his right ear making him look over to find chad. his arm stretched out to give ethan his drink, but eyes still scanned across the general area.

as ethan took the drink in his hand, he hoped chad hadn’t caught on to who he was looking at, but when chad’s eyes light up and he hits ethan on the arm, he thinks he knows. “what?” ethan laughed, looking into chad’s excited eyes. “dude, you like my sister?” he asks and ethan could only awkwardly laugh making chad’s face light up even more.

“you serious? mindy’s gonna kill you,” he laughs. ethan expected that reaction but more of a “we’re gonna kill you” type thing, just cause you’re their sister. he didn’t care for that though, he’d end up killing them anyways then the only family you would have would be him. that was the only daydream he could have about you.

“but you’re secrets safe with me,” chad smiles, patting ethan on the shoulder. “thanks,” ethan mumbled out with a nod and a light smile towards chad. “why don’t you go make friends?” chad grinned, sharing a glance from you, who stood across the room, to ethan. ethan quickly shakes his head. he wasn’t trying to make friends with you—just wanted to figure out why he couldn’t bring himself to kill you. his father had already been yelling at him to get his shit together before the “big day”.

“come on, pretty boy! you got this,” chad smiled, shoving his friend lightly towards you. ethan could only shake his head again, cardboard hat shifting on his head. “bro, she’s way out of my league, alright?” he says, looking at chad with raise eyebrows, hoping he would get off his case. unfortunately, chad nodded. “but i doubt she’ll be able to resist that cute face,” he grinned, scar on his lip turning up.

“really?” ethan grinned, his question being genuine. “yeah, man! you’re a cutie,” chad smiles, giving ethan a quick look over with his eyes after stepping back. ethan could only smile to himself, thinking about you actually liking him. chad wraps an arm around ethan’s shoulder, looking across the room towards you and without much thought on chad’s part, he raises his hand and calls out your name.

“chad,” ethan panics, before your eyes locked with ethan’s. nervously, and for the betterment of his heart because he could’ve sworn his blood pressure went up, his eyes darted everywhere else but at you. “you’re so loud and embarrassing,” you say, once making it across the room to them. you push your brothers chest making him only laugh and fumble back a little. ethan wasn’t completely sure how long it took you to reach them, because his heart pulsating in his ears was the only thing he could focus on.

soon, your eyes wondered over to ethan who’d seem to be a bit out of it. “ethan?” you call, hoping that he looked your way, and unfortunately for him, he caves. “you good? my dumb brother hasn’t gotten you too drunk, has he?” you lightly smile up at him, and ethan could only take a deep breath in before replying. “no,” he replied, a bit breathless, but you ignore it. before you could reply, mindy comes around the corner and taps on chad’s shoulder.

“creep alert,” she mumbled to him and he quickly nods. “well you too get along,” he smiled to the two of you but winks and gave ethan a pat on the back. confused, you look over to ethan who only gives you a awkward smile. you find yourself smiling back- not only at his cute smile but at his costume.

“nice costume. you’re a really cute robot,” you smile and ethan could feel his face heat up. did you just say he was cute? how was he supposed to kill you now?

xxx

everyone was feeling a bit anxious ever since tara and sam attack at the corner store so all of you decided to have a sleepover at the sister’s apartment. everybody was here, besides ethan, he had study hall so he couldn’t make it. the apparent “core 4” sat at the dinner table while you and anika chilled on the couch, and you won’t admit that you kinda missed the curly headed, cutie.

you smiled lightly to yourself as you scrolled on your phone mindlessly, head too busy thinking about ethan to care about the phone. but feeling the device buzz in your hand and seeing a airdrop of a picture brings you back to reality. the picture being quinn in her room being strangled from the back by ghostface.

letting you know you’re not the only one who got the picture, everyone quickly gets up and moves in front of the bedroom door and for a while you only hear struggling until suddenly there’s complete silence. the silence was unsettling and made your stomach turn, and unlucky for all of you, the silence was filled with screams when the door busts open and her body comes flying out.

quinn’s body falls onto anika, her filling the apartment with screams the most as the two of them hit the floor. you can barely move as you looked down at quinn’s bloody body. “guys, come on!” tara yells for us but you’re feet are stuck to the ground when you spot him in the doorway of quinn’s bedroom.. “oh fuck,” mindy says, eyes locked on ghostface. he’s quick to step forward, heading straight for mindy and cuts her arm making her lie against the couch.

“mindy!” anika yells before grabbing at ghostface’s leg trying to make him fall but she fails and he’s quick to grab her by her throat. she pulls and tugs at his hand trying to breath before he suddenly stabs her in the stomach. “fuck,” you mumble, realizing you have to do something so you kick him in his side making him fall to the floor and let go of anika. as anika’s gasping for air and holding her stomach, she sits up against the couch with mindy. unfortunately, he’s quick to get up from the floor and heads straight for you, head tilted as he backs you up into the bookshelf.

your hearts beating out of your chest as he’s flushed against you, hand wrapped around your throat. he’s not squeezing though, not enough to kill you but enough to have you gasping a bit. he runs his knife against your cheek slowly and you feel blood slowly dripping as you hiss from the sting. something was different. behind him, sam runs out of the kitchen with the knife holder and hits him in the head with it. he falls to the floor, leaving all of you time to get into quinn’s room.

anika and mindy take there spot on the bed as sam keeps the door shut. he bangs and kicks the door until he suddenly stops and sam looks back into the bathroom. “the bathroom door,” she whispers to you and you quickly make your way over into the bathroom, but your stopped by seeing one of quinn’s boyfriends head in the tub.

“oh my fuck!” you yell then you turn your attention to the door to find ghostface standing there. you scream before quickly try to close the door as sam runs to help but he’s stronger so the two of you fail. you and sam quickly move back and close the second door before he could push his whole weight onto it. you lock it and push your back onto the door as same moves an dresser over to the door so you can block it. once it’s in front of the door, sam runs over the window after hearing her boyfriend yell and you stay put, holding the door close.

at first, you don’t understand what’s happening at the window but when you see one end of a latter sticking out of the window, you come to understand. she looks back for you. “you two go first,” sam says, looking at the two sitting on the bed. “you two go first. she’s go after and i’ll go last,” mindy says, sharing a glance between you and sam. sam nods to mindy and makes her way onto the latter.

“somebody has to hold the door!” you yell, his kicks and bangs vibrating your lungs as you speak. “i’ll do it…”mindy says, standing from the bed, holding her arm. “go,” she says, back now against the dresser and you’re not completely sure if you wanna let go until she screams at you at go again. “fuck,” you swear, moving over to the window. now by the window, sam’s already made her way into danny’s apartment and now it’s your turn.

slowly but surely, you make it across, the sound of banging lightly fading behind you as you move across and once you’re finally across you feel you can breath again. just a little, but you’ll be completely able to once you know your sister’s safe. “come on, mindy!” you called for her so she knows anika can go next. from the other side, you watch as mindy’s trying to help anika but she says she can’t do it and mindy’s begging her.

“i can’t! you go, i’ll be right behind you. i promise,” anika says, crying, holding her stomach. the banging and the pushing of the door makes it seem time is shorting so mindy quickly gives her a kiss before turning around, tears running down her cheeks, to cross onto the latter. as she’s crossing, she’s trying her best not to look down. she looks back to make sure anika’s okay and you’re quick to say, “she’s fine! just get across!”

“she’s right behind you!” sam lies, as the pushing of the dresser becomes lighter. he’s almost through, and thankfully, mindy makes it across in time. “come on!” mindy call for anika as anika stands from the bed and walks over to the latter. “i can’t!” she cries out, and he continues to pound and push the door. “yes, you can! come on!” mindy replies, eyes locked on her girlfriend. soon after, anika climbs on the latter and begins crossing quickly.

“you got this!” danny says. eyes locked on us, anika tries her best with wobbly hands to make it across. unfortunately, once she’s half way across, the banging stops and all of you spot ghost standing at the window. all of you gasp as he stabs the windowsill with the knife, leaving it stuck in the wood. “what?” she asks. “you gotta move quicker!” mindy yells as ghostface takes ahold of the other end. curiously, anika turned around to see why and quickly starts to panic.

she tries to make her way over again but it’s not only her shaky hands in the way but the shaking latter. she screamed and cried as he jerked the latter up and down, and side to side. “i don’t wanna die, baby!” she cried out and his shakes got more violent. mindy began to cry then suddenly anika fell onto her stomach. closer than before, sam holds her hand out. “grab my hand!” she says and anika tries, hands slippery from her own blood.

“i got her,” sam says, but the latter tilts and their hands slip. screaming, anika falls. her head hits the dumpster before finally hitting the pavement below. all of you watched in horror as blood pooled around her head. “fuck,” you managed to mumble out in pure disbelief.

xxx

the night had been suffering and you were surprised it hadn’t killed you. you between tara and mindy in the back of the ambulance as the only thing you heard was the sirens of the ambulance and cops. everyone was so quiet, including chad who stood standing beside you. you go to look up at him to make sure he’s okay but he’s already looking ahead at ethan who’s walking towards all of you.

chad immediately starts walking over to him, then grabs him by his book bag straps and pushes him against a nearby news channel van. you’re quick to stand from your seat and make your way over to them. “where the fuck were you!?” chad asks, anger on his face. “what? when?” ethan answers, confused on how he ended up in this position in the first place. “last night!” ethan stutters out a response.

“i-i had econ you know this.” chad removes ethan from the van a couple centimeters before slamming his back, back onto it. “chad,” you finally speak, making ethan’s eyes move over to you for a spit second. but his shoulders being shoved move into the van behind him making his eyes snap right back to chad’s. “bullshit, man. you disappear and my sisters almost get killed!” chad yells, disregarding your call. “d-dude, i was in the study hall with 100 other people. you can ask any of them,” ethan says, hand’s raised in defense.

“fuck, man,” chad groans, finally letting go of ethan with another good push. ethan’s eyes found your face and he quickly finds the cut. “you alright?” he asks, moving closer so he could see it better. hm, he didn’t mean to cut you that deep. might leave a scar later on. he thought about smiling at that- the thought of marking you excites him but he decides against it and let’s his worry eyes lead his performance.

“yeah, just a little cut,” you say, lightly smiling at his concern for you. oddly, his hands find their way onto your face and he lightly touches the cut. you hiss at the sudden touch. “sorry,” he mumbles out, going to pull his hand away, but you stop him and held his hand in yours. “it was anika and quinn,” you say to him and he could only look behind you to mindy. seeing the sympathy in his eyes you lead him over to the back of the ambulance.

“mindy, i’m so sorry,” he says, but mindy only glares at him. “step the fuck back,” she says, eyes locked on him. he does as she asks without a complaint. “your at the top of my list,” she finishes, blankly. “i had econ!” ethan says, defending himself again. by the way mindy’s glaring eyes rotated around the room, you understood no one believed him- but you did.

“i feel like he’s telling the truth,” you add, making mindy glare up at you. “that’s easy for you to say because of that little cut on your cheek. why didn’t he stab you like the rest of us, huh?” she asks, making your dart yours eyes elsewhere because you truly didn’t have an answer. “huh?” tara asks, not understanding the argument. “yeah. he barely fucking touched her, like he was in love with her or some shit,” mindy says, waving you off and you open your mouth to say something.

“in love? come on, mindy. don’t be stupid,” you say, shaking your head. “maybe, she’s right. if he didn’t stab you. maybe he loves you,” ethan shrugs, looking over at all of you. “ethan, you’re not helping,” you say, before turning your attention to mindy who rolls her eyes at ethan. he wasn’t trying to help though. he was only trying to make you understand.

[outerspacebisexual]

We'll Be All Right - Steve Harrington

Summary: In the aftermath of the showdown with Vecna, you question if everything you had imagined for your future with Steve was in jeopardy.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Munson!Reader

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: MAJOR angst, happy ending tho, very sad steve :'(, lil fluff as a treat

a/n: munson!reader but no mention of parents, so can be any type of sibling (i.e. step, half, bio)

Masterlist

You weren’t even sure when things had gotten so bad.

It was like one day you woke up and there was a tension between the two of you.

The air around you two was suddenly stale. It left you awkwardly dancing around each other on tiptoes, trying desperately to keep what was left of you together, grasping at the threads that only seemed to fray the more you reached for them.

The loss to Vecna was still fresh in everyone’s minds, as fresh as the giant cracks through Hawkins that had killed so many. It was still painfully fresh in your own mind. You had lost your brother Eddie, and you had left him there, in the Upside Down.

You couldn’t escape the pain that encompassed you no matter where you went. The memory of coming back to your trailer and finding him laying there with Dustin. He was already gone by then, and you had missed out on spending his final moments with him.

You could still hear your screams in your ears as your knees buckled and met the hard ground. You could still feel Steve’s arms circling you, holding you as you crawled to your brother, his eyes open but unseeing.

You remembered Dustin talking to you, sputtering out apologies and trying to explain that Eddie had sacrificed himself to save him—to save you and the others. He had told you that even in his last moments, Eddie had told him to tell you that he loved you. And no matter how much you tried to push it down, an awful part of you rose up that wanted to resent Dustin for being the one with him and not you. You knew it wasn’t fair, but you had lost your brother, and nothing was fair anymore.

The next few days had been the hardest. You had been the one to tell your Uncle Wayne, and it had made things worse, because he had been so relieved to see you. He had pulled you into a ferocious hug, just like he had done when you were a child, whispering how grateful he was that you were all right. But then his face dropped when you hadn’t answered his questions about Eddie.

Everywhere you looked, you saw Eddie. Your trailer no longer felt safe and homely. It was an open wound that housed everything Eddie had been and would never become. His graduation cap that had been hanging from the end of his bed for three years would never be worn. His guitar would never be played again. You would never come home to complain about the volume of his amp, and you felt guilty for all the times you did. The posters on his walls stared at you every time you entered his room, mocking you with reminders of Eddie on stage.

Two days after his death, Steve had found you on the floor of Eddie’s room, surrounded by torn up posters that you had ripped from the walls. Your throat was raw from the screaming, both in anger, and then agony as you tried to put them back together. As you tried to piece back together this part of your brother.

Steve hadn’t tried to tell you it would be OK. Because he knew it wouldn’t be.

He had just held you, tears of his own welling up as you sobbed into his chest, barely able to hold yourself up, hating that he couldn’t take this pain away for you. Hating that he couldn’t make this better.

Weeks later, and everything had settled into a melancholic lull of trying to get through each day without crying.

Some days were better than others. The days when you visited Max were worse. When you sat at her bedside in hospital and read the letter she had given you aloud, eyes running over the heartfelt words that she had been too scared to say out loud. You sometimes wondered if she could hear you. And every time you did, you prayed that your voice would guide her back to the surface.

You had already lost a brother. You couldn’t lose someone who was like a little sister, too.

Steve and you had grown distant. Even as the two of you curled against each other at night, the space between you seemed to stretch for miles.

There had been no fight, no angry words, you just grew further from each other as the days passed.

And you hated it.

You hated that he was right there beside you and yet he felt so far away. You hadn’t felt this separate from Steve since before you got together three years ago. Before you had really known him, back when he was King Steve, and you were The Freak’s Sister, who had been partnered together for a science project.

That seemed like lifetimes ago now, and you never thought that you would feel that way again.

Because even when he kissed you, it felt like there was a wall growing higher and higher. Even when you sat together, pressed into his side, he wasn’t there. His eyes were on the TV, but his mind was far away.

In your own mind, you knew that you were hardly any better. You knew that you were pulling away from him just as much as you wanted him to be closer.

It was as if you were stuck in a weird dance of yearning and anguish, perpetually out of step.

At first, you thought you could fix it by trying to go back to how you were before, but that only resulted in you breaking down in your car as you caught sight of one of Eddie’s tapes in the glove box. You had still been sat in your car when Steve pulled into his driveway, and he had peeled you out of the driver’s seat and into his house.

Steve had left you alone that night, citing Robin needing his help with something important as his reason. He was gone all night, crawling into bed just before dawn. Before then, he would stay up late in the house. Sometimes he would sit outside by the pool. Sometimes he would just watch TV for hours instead of sleeping beside you. But that was the first time he started to leave the house.

Every time he left, you convinced yourself that he would be back in a minute. Just a minute. He was simply driving to the store. Or he was driving Dustin somewhere. He would be back in a minute.

But the minutes always dragged on for hours, with you jerking awake at every little sound, thinking that it was him coming home.

Eventually, you started to sleep better, only waking when he climbed into bed. You always pretended to be asleep. You couldn’t face whatever it was that was keeping him from you. You didn’t want to know. So, you lived in agonizing ignorance, pretending that you didn’t notice his absence.

+

You had slept in longer than normal.

You hadn’t been woken by Steve coming home, and you worried that he hadn’t come home at all. But the blankets were pushed back on his side, and his watch sat on his bedside table.

He had come home.

Slipping out of his bed and down the stairs, you found him in the living room. He was digging through random drawers, obviously looking for something. He paused when he saw you, his eyes giving you a once over before returning to the open drawer.

“Morning,” he said.

“Hey,” you replied. He looked so tired, you thought. Large bags under his eyes, and his beautiful brown eyes were dull. You could tell that the sleepless nights were getting to him. Maybe he did sleep, just somewhere else. You shook that thought away as soon as it arrived. “What are you looking for?”

Steve closed the drawer and opened another one. “I told Lucas that he could have my old Walkman.” He sighed and closed the drawer, pulling open a different one.

You ducked into the hallway, opening the cupboard under the stairs grabbing the Walkman, before returning to Steve. You held it out to him. “Here.”

“Oh, thanks.” He took it from you, eyes barely glancing at you as he opened it and removed the tape that was in it. You took it from him, smiling as you saw it was your Bay City Rollers album.

You brushed your fingers over the track listing, pausing at ‘I Only Wanna Be with You’.

The sun was high in the sky, leaving you sweating under the hot Indiana sun as you planted an array of flowers and plants in front of your trailer.

You weren’t a huge fan of gardening, but your Uncle Wayne had started to let the weeds build up with his double shifts at the plant, so you thought it would be a nice surprise for him when he woke up to get ready for work.

You had asked Eddie if he wanted to help, to which he replied, “I’d rather die.”

You had probably chosen the worst time of day to start, but you were on a time crunch. Uncle Wayne would be up in a few hours, and you wanted to have it done.

You hummed along to the music, adjusting your headphones before unpotting a plant and placing it into the freshly dug hole. The music was loud enough that you couldn’t hear the outside world, which was just how you liked it.

The album had been a gift from your uncle when you were only nine years old. One that he had admittedly asked the woman behind the counter for when he told her he wasn’t really sure what a nine-year-old girl would like.

You had been ecstatic when you received it, and it was still one of your all-time favourites, even ten years later.

You were totally zoned out, digging the next hole and humming, and you jumped when two hands rested on your shoulders. You yelped, and if it wasn’t for the hands that gripped you tighter, you would have fallen face-first into the dirt.

You spun around to find Steve leaning over you and laughing.

You pulled your headphones off and said, “What the hell, Steve? I almost had a heart attack.”

Steve let you go as you stood. “It’s not my fault you have your music blasting. I drove right up to you and everything.”

As he said, his red BMW was parked only a few metres from you. “Yeah, OK. That’s fair enough,” you admitted. “What are you doing here?”

“I just finished work,” he said, stepping forward until you were only inches apart. “I came to hang out.”

You raised a brow. “Hang out, huh?”

Steve scoffed. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Munson.”

You laughed and wrapped your arms around his middle. “I can’t help that I have such a pretty boyfriend.”

“I still don’t know how I feel about you calling me pretty.”

“You should be flattered,” you declared. “You’re the only guy I call pretty.”

Steve dug his fingers into your sides, making you squeal. “I’d better be.”

You pushed him away, but he reached out and took your headphones from your neck. “What are you listening to?”

“Bay City Rollers.”

Steve rolled his eyes as he slipped them on. “Typical.”

“They’re good!” you defended.

“Yeah, for teenage girls.”

“I am a teenage girl, Harrington. If you have a problem with that, you can stop listening to them.” You reached for the headphones, but he slipped out of your grasp. The headphone wires pulled tight from where your Walkman was clipped to your waist.

“I never said I didn’t like them, babe,” he teased, as he slipped the headphones around his neck and turned the volume up until you could both hear I Only Wanna Be with You playing. “This is your favourite,” he said. It wasn’t a question, he knew that it was, and your heart fluttered. Steve could still make heat rise to your cheeks like you were a schoolgirl.

He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you and swaying the two of you around to the music while half-singing-half-mumbling the lyrics. “Ever since we’ve met, you’ve had a hold on me. No matter what you do, I only want to be with you.”

You laughed as he tried to spin you and you just managed to get all caught up in the headphone wires. You untangled yourself, and Steve pulled you close again, his face just a hairsbreadth from yours. You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face if you tried, and you kissed him.

You only pulled away when the door to your trailer opened, and Eddie stepped out. “Oh, gross. Get a room,” he groaned, before taking off in the direction of his van.

You flipped him off, still smiling as you yelled, “Get lost, moron.”

The memory was so vivid that it brought tears to your eyes.

It was so distant from the way you and Steve were now. Back then, you hadn’t thought that your brother would be dead in less than a year. You hadn’t thought that you and Steve would ever be on the cusp of losing each other, even though you were still hopelessly in love with him.

Steve wrapped the headphones around the Walkman and made for the door. He was leaving again, he was leaving again, he was leaving again. That one thought replayed over and over as you looked at him. You couldn’t watch him walk away again.

“Steve,” you called gingerly.

He stopped in the doorway, but he didn’t turn around.

You bit your lip in an attempt to keep your tears at bay. “Are we…” You swallowed back the lump in your throat. You had to talk about it. If you didn’t, the tension would only sharpen until it became a blade that would hurt the both of you. “Do you want to break up?” The words hurt as you said them, as if you had turned the knife on yourself.

And for every second that he didn’t answer, for every second that the silence stretched, the knife buried itself deeper into your heart.

“No,” he said finally, and when he turned towards you, his eyes were clouded with unshed tears. His voice was quiet, broken in a way you hadn’t heard before as he said, “I love you. But I can hardly look at you.”

“What?” you whispered, afraid of what would come next.

Steve’s tongue darted between his lips as he looked at you, just like it always did when he was thinking hard.

“Steve,” you pleaded. “Please.” You didn’t know what you were asking for. You just wanted something. Anything.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered. A single tear escaped his eye, but he didn’t wipe it away.

You furrowed your brows. “For what?”

He heaved in a shaky breath. “For everything. For Eddie. For Max.”

Your breath hitched as he said your brother’s name. “Why are you apologising for them?”

“Because it’s my fault,” he admitted, voice breaking again. “It’s my fault. Because I was supposed to protect Max, and…and then I was the one who told you to come with me instead of staying with Eddie. I was selfish and I wanted you with me—” He let out a strangled cry. “And then he died. And you weren’t with him.”

You stared at him, the knife in your chest pushing even deeper than you could have imagined as you stood in front of your boyfriend who somehow thought that this was his fault. “Baby, it’s not your fault. I—”

“But it is, isn’t it?” he cut you off. “Because you wanted to stay with him. And I wanted you to come with me.”

You shook your head. “I was always going to go with you. I wasn’t going to leave your side.” Steve chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at you, and for the first time in weeks, you really saw him.

You saw just how much guilt was swimming behind his eyes, how much pain and distress was circling around in his mind. Your heart broke. It shattered into a million tiny shards as you realized that this whole time, Steve had been blaming himself for everything that had happened. And you hadn’t noticed. You had thought he just didn’t love you.

But he had thought that you blamed him.

You walked over to him, stopping just before him. “I don’t blame you, Steve,” you breathed. You hesitantly reached up and wiped his tears away, keeping your hands on his cheeks when he leaned into your touch. “I was worried about Eddie and Dustin, and I was scared of leaving them alone, but I never once thought about leaving your side. I don’t think I’ll ever not regret being there with him, but it was my decision, baby. It wasn’t your fault.”

Steve leaned forward and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry. For not being here. I—I couldn’t sleep next you with all this…” He trailed off, but you knew what he was saying. “I was staying at Robin’s. I thought…I thought that you wouldn’t want to be around me anymore. And every time I saw you, all I could think about was how I failed you. Failed everyone.”

You brushed his tears away with your thumbs, holding his face tighter as you said, “You didn’t fail anyone, Steve. You didn’t fail me. I love you.”

He squeezed his eyes shut as you said it, and you knew he needed to hear it again.

“I love you, Steve.”

When he opened his eyes, they were so vulnerable, so honest. You knew yours were the same.

He kissed you then, and it was gentle, but it told you everything you needed to hear and more.

You didn’t need to tell him that it would be OK. Because you both knew it would be. It would just take some time.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

avenger!reader who suffers from depression and is really hard on herself/themself and blames themself after a mission went wrong and locks themselves out, bucky is worried abt them and comforts them

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count:3102 (wow I went off the rails a bit huh 😅)

Warnings: self-blame, mentions of death, nightmares, panic attacks, breakdown, lots of tears, this one’s really angsty, flashbacks, some fluff/comfort but so much angst

A/N: I loved this request and had a great time writing it. This one’s a lil more angsty than I usually do and deals with some heavier themes than some of my other ones, so please take care of yourself and heed the warnings. I love you guys so much!

There was nothing you could have done.

You were the first off the quinjet, anxious to get out of the unbearable silence.

You kept your head down as you walked quickly to your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, stumbling to get into your room as fast as possible, locking the door behind you as you let the tears fall.

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stave off your breakdown as you tried to keep taking even breaths.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you said in a small voice.

“Yes?” the AI responded.

You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice even. “Turn on soundproofing, please.”

“As you wish. I am picking up on signs of distress, would you like me to call Sergeant Barnes?”

You shook your head violently at the thought of anyone, especially your boyfriend seeing you like this. “No.”

“Are you sure? Would you like me to call -”

“Don’t let anyone in this room.”

“As you wish, Y/n.”

You heard a noise indicating that the room had been soundproofed.

And you lost it.

You brought a hand to your face and sank back against the wall, shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You pushed yourself back against the wall, trying to ground yourself. Your mind flashed back to the mission you had just returned from and you let out an agonizing scream.

You’ll never forget the looks on their faces.

“Y/n, come on we have to go!”

“Wait - no I almost have them!”

“Help us - please - no don’t go!”

Blood curdling screams that didn’t belong to you, followed by your own.

A building had collapsed on an innocent family in the aftermath of the fight. You tried to get them out, but you were too late, Steve pulling you away at the last second before you were taken out too.

You were so angry, you had been so close - if you had seen them sooner, if you had just a few more seconds, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.

The last thing that they saw was their only hope being pulled away from them before being suffocated.

You were the last thing they saw, you had promised to get them out.

And you had lied to them.

The last thing they felt was hope that they’d see another day. No - the last thing they felt was betrayal and fear when they realized that one of the world’s greatest heroes couldn’t be their hero too.

The moments that had followed were a blur, your eyes frozen on where their eyes had been, shock coursing through your veins. You had seen someone die before but...not like that. Not when you could’ve maybe saved them.

The shock quickly bubbled into anger as you turned to Steve.

“Why the FUCK would you do that? I could’ve saved them!”

“You would’ve died Y/n!”

“If you hadn’t been distracting me then maybe I would’ve gotten them out in time!”

You had angry tears in your eyes, hitting Steve’s chest and doing exactly nothing to his broad form while he tried to console you.

“Get the fuck away from me! I could’ve saved them, this is YOUR fault.”

The ride back was silent. No one dared to talk to you about what had happened. You felt bad after a while but you couldn’t apologize without completely crumbling. If you opened your mouth you were certain that sobs would come rather than words.

You did feel horrible for what you said, because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t Steve’s fault.

It was yours.

So you waited until you returned to the privacy of your room, screaming bloody murder over the guilt you felt. Replaying what had happened, telling yourself everywhere you had gone wrong, every hesitation that could’ve given you an extra few seconds.

You felt like you’d never stop seeing their eyes, paralyzed by fear.

You were the last thing they saw, and now you would remember their last moment for the rest of yours.

You couldn’t imagine the amount of pain and fear they had felt when they realized they weren’t getting out of the rubble alive. That they would die as a part of a warzone they didn’t intend to be a part of. The feeling of hope draining from their bodies, blood running cold as they realized they had mere seconds left.

“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, body curling in on itself as you drew your knees in and wrapped your arms around your torso, sick to your stomach.

This was your fault, and you would never forget it.

---

The rest of the team had sighed as they watched you get off the quinjet, walking a bit too fast to be alright. They shared concerned looks with each other, watching your form disappear into the compound.

You weren’t okay, but after what had happened when Steve tried to approach you, they thought it best to give you some space.

The rest of them entered the compound, going their separate ways as Steve sat to down and ran a hand down his face, trying to get his mind off of what had happened. He was shaken up too, but he couldn’t lose you like that. You would die protecting strangers, and while he thought that was noble, he wondered when there wouldn’t be someone to pull you out in time.

Bucky had come down to check on you, knowing that the team had gotten back from a mission. But before he could knock on the door, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. “Sergeant Barnes, Y/n has requested that she not be disturbed.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, both in concern and confusion. Usually when a mission hit you hard, you would talk to him about what had happened. So either you were just tired, or this was worse than it had ever been.

He clenched his jaw and stood there for another few moments before he walked away, heading towards anyone who may be able to tell him what happened on the mission.

He came into the common room, seeing Steve doing a mission report. Well - the mission report was in front of him and he was staring blankly at it.

“Steve?” Bucky said softly, trying not to startle him.

Steve didn’t look up.

“Steve,” Bucky said a little louder.

Steve looked up from the papers, shaking his head slightly. “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, taking in Steve’s tired appearance and how his mind seemed elsewhere.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Steve said, barely looking at Bucky.

“You know, I’ve taken care of enough black eyes from mister back-alley hero to know when you’re not really fine.” Bucky said with a small smirk.

Steve’s eyes flicked up to Bucky’s as he sighed. “It’s not me you should be worried about,” he muttered.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

Steve recounted the mission to his friend, Bucky getting increasingly concerned about you. He knew you had a tendency to blame yourself for different things, and he knew what blaming yourself for someone’s death was like, even if you couldn’t control the situation.

Bucky was brainwashed. You were too late. Two different things, but the survivor's guilt was excruciating.

“Is she okay?” Bucky asked nervously.

“She didn’t get hurt, if that’s what you mean,” Steve started, “but she seemed pretty shaken up. You haven’t talked to her?”

“She doesn’t want to be bothered,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded. “Just give her some time,” he said, worriedly.

Bucky nodded, though unconvinced. He bottled up his emotions until the two of you met. Ever since the two of you never kept anything from each other. And he knew that seeing someone die and feeling at fault for it could destroy you. He wasn’t sure if time and space was what you needed.

But it was what you wanted right now. So he wouldn’t get in the way.

----

Back in your room you were curled in a ball on the floor, sobs wracking your body as you lost all sense of time and space and all you knew was it hurt and if you closed your eyes they were right there and you couldn’t do anything about it. You had a hand pressed to your chest as you tried to breathe but eventually gave way to a new surge of agony when your mind went back to how people died and you couldn’t help them.

You tried to calm down but then your mind would remind you that they had a family and they would never see them again and it was your fault.

“Stop, please just stop,” you put your hands over your ears as you tugged slightly on your hair.

They died terrified.

“Please make it stop,” you sobbed.

You were supposed to help them and you failed.

“No, God, please stop…”

They died because of you

----

You had fallen asleep on the floor at some point, when, you weren’t sure, but you woke up to your own screams. You were drenched in a cold sweat, dried tears on your face and chest heaving as you tried to breathe. You brought your hands to your mouth when you realized it was just a dream, sobbing once again.

You didn’t know why these people’s death was hitting you harder than any other death you had seen. This wasn’t the first time you had seen people die - far from it. You’d killed your fair share of agents without a hint at remorse. Because they deserved it.

You’d seen buildings burn down, fall apart, innocent people die - but you’d never felt as responsible as you did this time. Because they were right there. And you were so close.

But they still died and you saw their last moments. And you were theirs.

And it was destroying you.

----

You didn’t leave your room the following day. Or the day after that.

Needless to say, the team was extremely worried about you. Especially Bucky.

He knew what survivor’s guilt could do to a person, and he knew being alone with your thoughts wasn’t helping. He also knew that pushing the topic could do much more harm than good, causing you to retreat further into yourself.

He tried texting you, wanting to let you know that he was there for you, that he was worried about you, and that he loved you.

None of them went though because your phone was off, you having not even looked at it since coming back from the mission.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still telling everyone that you did not want to be disturbed, as you had requested. Obviously Tony had the power to override the locks, but again, no one wanted to push you.

When it had been 3 days since you had seen any sunlight, Bucky had had enough. He knew you couldn’t be taking proper care of yourself and he couldn’t let you do that to yourself. He had Tony override your locks and he came to your door, knocking gently.

“Y/n?”

Silence.

He knocked again, a little louder. “Y/n? I’m coming in, alright?”

Silence.

Bucky took a deep breath before he opened your door slowly, peeking his head in. it was the middle of the afternoon and your room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway and from the cracks between the shades, which were drawn shut.

Bucky let himself in and turned on a lamp, shutting the door behind him. He looked at you with worried eyes as he took in your appearance.

You were pressed up against the headboard of your bed, knees drawn to your chest as you stared blankly, your eyes fixated on your bedsheets. Your eyes were red, face blotchy, your hair was a mess and you were still wearing your uniform from the mission.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you said quietly, voice raspy from yelling these past few days.

“Y/n -”

“Get out,” you said quietly, though not angrily.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, y/n.”

“Please,” you said, cursing yourself as your voice cracked. You didn’t want to breakdown in front of Bucky.

“It’s not your fault, y/n.”

You pushed yourself off of the bed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing this right now, Bucky.”

“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point, y/n.”

“Not if I can help it.”

“This kind of thing isn’t going to go away, okay? Time heals but not by itself.” You weren’t listening as you ran a hand over your face, overwhelmed.

“Please, talk to me y/n. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I’m fine.”

“This isn’t fine. Not taking care of yourself and living in the dark staring at the wall isn’t fine, y/n. Please, don’t hide from me. It’s just me, y/n.”

You shook your head, eyes glazed over like glass. “I could’ve saved them.” you said simply.

“Y/n, there was nothing -”

“BULLSHIT!” You yelled. “There had to have been something I could do, if I had gotten there earlier or - or if I had moved faster or been stronger then I could’ve gotten them out! It’s my fault they’re dead okay? I couldn’t save them and that’s my fault!”

Bucky walked over to you slowly, asking you to look at him. “It isn’t your fault, y/n. The building collapsed, no one could’ve gotten them out.”

“I could have saved them.” you said again, tears falling down your face. “I could have gotten them out. I was the last thing they saw and you know what I was doing? Being carried away like some coward. They died afraid because a superhero couldn’t save them. And that’s on me.”

Bucky shook his head slightly. “You can’t save everyone, y/n.”

“So what, am I supposed to choose? I’m supposed to choose whether I save people or move on because they aren’t part of the mission? Am I supposed to let them die?” you asked incredulously.

“You can’t risk your own life like that, y/n.”

“What? And pretend like my life is any more important than theirs?!” you exclaimed.

“Y/n -”

“No, why do I have the right to walk away from people because I’m afraid of getting hurt when they’re about to die? What gives me that right?”

“Because I can’t lose you!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, those people matter, but goddamn it y/n, you have helped so many people and you will keep saving so many people, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. We help who we can and mourn the rest. It’s not your fault that those people died. There was nothing that you could have done.”

“But if I had a few more seconds -”

“The building still would have fallen and you’d be asking yourself for a few more seconds. There is nothing you or anyone else could’ve done.”

You stayed silent, more tears falling from your eyes. Bucky pulled you in for a hug as your shoulders started to shake with more sobs. “I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it’s not your fault.”

“I can’t stop seeing the look they had on their faces,” you shook your head. “Everytime I try to sleep I see them and I can’t make it go away. And I want to forget but I don’t deserve to and it hurts but I don’t deserve to forget.”

“I know, I know,” Bucky said, knowing all too well what being haunted by the fear on someone’s face was like. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t let them die, y/n. You would’ve given anything to save them, if Steve hadn’t pulled you away you would’ve died with them. You didn’t run away even though you knew you would die if you stayed. You do know that right?”

“I don’t care.”

“I don’t think you mean that,” Bucky said softly. You felt new tears fall from your eyes as you hid your face into Bucky’s chest.

“You can’t tell me that nothing could be done. You can’t tell me that innocent people were going to die and that’s the way it has to be. That isn’t fair,” you spoke through your tears.

Bucky pulled back to wipe the tears from your face and look you in the eyes. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you did everything in your power to save them. It’s not your fault that you got there too late. Those HYDRA agents who destroyed the city - it’s their fault. Not yours.”

“I’m supposed to protect people,” you said as you shrugged and shook your head slightly. “If I can’t do that then what am I?”

“A person who is trying their best. You don’t always have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, that’s too much to expect of anyone. It’s not your responsibility to save everyone because you can’t. But you’ve saved so many people that would’ve died if you weren’t there. You are so important, but you have to stay alive to help more people.”

You took a shaky breath. “Those people were going to die no matter what,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Bucky. Your chest tightened again and you felt sick. “Oh my God,” you said, the acceptance of the fact brought on a new wave of emotions as your knees felt weak.

Bucky pulled you back into his chest again, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “It’s not your fault, y/n.”

“Then why does it hurt so much?” you sobbed against his chest.

“Because you have a good heart.”

You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want one if it means it’s going to hurt this much.”

“It’s okay, y/n. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”

“Please make it stop. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”

Bucky felt tears sting his own eyes at your pain, holding you tighter against him. He cleared his throat before saying “I can’t make it go away. But I’m here to hold you and do everything I can to make it better. I’m not going anywhere y/n.”

He held you against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

--------

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[beels-burger-babe]

A Pain You'll Soon Regret - Pt. 3

Poly!MC Summary: MC and the demon lords get in a fight resulting in MC leaving. They planned on going to Purgatory Hall until things cool off, but they never quite make it there. TW: Heavy Angst, Violence, I don’t know what to tag this, but there is a pretty nasty verbal fight, Gore/Injury

***I legitimately teared up while writing this. This...This is heavy folks. Please remember to take care of yourselves before, during, and after reading this fic. Be safe lovelies ❤ -B ***

Part 1: HERE, Part 2: HERE, Part 4: HERE

The day had passed by agonizingly slow. The brothers really had no choice but to follow Solomon's orders, so they waited. With every second they could feel the invisible hands grasping their hearts squeeze tighter and tighter.

None of them had left the living room where they had gathered. They were all too frightened that an update on your condition would come in and they wouldn't be there to receive it. At least that's what was silently agreed upon. In reality, they were each taking comfort in being with the only people that could possibly understand what the other was going through.

No one knew what to do or say. There really was nothing to do or say. They had promised to always protect you, and because of a foolish argument, they had failed that in the worst way possible. Finally, after nearly twelve hours of radio silence, Asmodeus's D.D.D. dinged.

Asmodeus had never taken his phone out so quickly before. "Simeon and I are awake. MC is still unconscious. We will let you in and try to get you to see MC. Luke is still adamant about not letting you all in, so be ready for him," Asmo read out loud. Satan huffed as he started towards the door. "I don't care who Luke thinks he is, he's not stopping us from seeing our partner. Let's go."

*** As they arrived at the Hall, all of them were shocked to see a trail of now dried blood leading to the doorway. No matter how long it had been there, the scent still made it glaringly obvious that it was yours. Asmodeus gagged and turned his head away from the sight. "If it's already this bad out here, what are we going to be walking into?" He managed to choke out.

Lucifer swallowed down the lump in his throat and marched ahead. "It doesn't matter. Right now, MC needs us. We failed to be there for them earlier, I refuse to do so again." The eldest lead the charge to the front door of Purgatory Hall. He raised his fist to knock when several voices started shouting from the other side. "You never should've called them here!" "Luke, that's not for you to decide. They're-" "I don't care who they are!!!"

The door suddenly was thrown open just enough to reveal Luke.

You would think that the small angel was the Avatar of Wrath and not Satan. He glared at them with all the fury of the Celestial army. His face was red and his teeth were bared in a snarl. Despite all this anger, however, his eyes were still tinged red with tears.

"Leave now! You're not welcome here!" he barked before going to slam the door; Beel quickly caught it with his hand. "We're not leaving until we see MC." A growl that they had never thought they would hear from sweet little Luke, vibrated from deep within his chest before he began throwing himself at the door, clearly doing everything he could to try and close it.

"NO!!! You don't deserve to see them! You monsters are the reason they're like this! GET OUT! LEAVE!!" Simeon suddenly appeared from within the Hall and pulled Luke against his chest. "Luke, stop it! You're going to hurt yourself!" The young angel screamed and struggled as Simeon softly shushed him. It wasn't long before the screams turned into sobs and Luke broke down in Simeon's arms. The brothers didn't know how to react. Was the state you were in truly so bad to merit such an emotional response from Luke? Dread began to grow more and more within them as guilt kept them frozen in place.

The older angel sighed and gently began to rub Luke's back, before looking at the brothers with an emotionless expression. "As you can see, Luke is greatly concerned with MC's well-being, as we all are," he tightened his hold on Luke before he continued. "You may see them-" "WHA- Simeon, no!!!" Simeon gently shushed him and ran a hand through Luke's hair. "I know. I know you don't want them to, Luke, but they love MC just like you do. At the very least, we should let them see the results of their negligence, don't you think?" The lords winced at the jab and the harsh edges on Simeon's words. It was clear that no one in that house truly wanted them there. Luke pouted. "Fine. But I want to be in the room when they do." Simeon nodded and released the young angel. "Of course. I'm sure MC will be grateful for how attentive you've been to them when they wake up." He ruffled Luke's hair before glancing at the brothers once again. "Follow me." Their footsteps echoed through the quiet halls like a death knell. Each one rang louder and louder in the ears of the worried demons. They hadn't even seen you yet, and even so, each and every one of them were already beginning to wonder how they could ever let this happen to you. Images of you might look like flashed inside their heads. Perhaps you would resemble a mummy from the number of bandages required to heal you. Perhaps you would resemble a corpse, half-dead as you struggled to keep your heartbeat steady. No matter what they imagined, however, nothing prepared them for the real thing. Simeon swung open the doors to the lounge without any word or warning. The brothers' stumbled to a stop and collectively choked at the sight. You were laid out on the table in the middle of the room. Gauze covered a large section of the left side of your cheek and a strip around the circumference of your head. What little skin was visible was sunken in, making you appear dead. If it hadn't been for the shallow rising and falling of your chest, the brothers most certainly would have believed you were. Solomon had been in the process of checking the bandages on your shoulder when they entered, giving each of them a good eye full of the deep bite marks that covered your shoulder, collarbone and neck. There was so much red, that they could barely make out what was an injury and what wasn't. With a nauseous thought, they realized that small chunks of skin had even been torn from the flesh. They must have had to remove your clothes at some point during your healing process, for the only thing that covered you was a thin blanket that was trapped over your torso. All, except Satan, recognized it as one of the blankets from the Celestial realm. Though Satan had put two and two together when he spotted the small tag hanging from a corner with Luke's name written on it in golden cursive. The fact that you were barely covered meant that they could clearly see your bandaged thighs and the small, bandaged, stump of where your leg had been cut off from the knee down. The silence was cut off by a strangled sob from Asmodeus.

Solomon's head snapped as he only now noticed everyone. Rather than moving comfort the demon whom he's had a pact with for centuries, Solomon only narrowed his eyes into a glare and silently went back to work.

Asmodeus moved towards you, shakily reaching out a hand to touch. But he was stopped as Luke quickly slapped the hand away. The angel starred icily at him. "They're still recovering, you idiot. Touch them with your filthy infernal hands and you could infect and kill them."

Asmodeus snarled through his tears, and opened his mouth to shout at Luke, but was stopped when a hand sat on his shoulder. He glanced over to see Satan shaking his head as tears ran down his cheeks.

"He's right," Satan whispered, not bothering to hide the pain in his tone. "They're in an extremely fragile state. We should all, at the very least, wash our hands first." the others looked at him surprised. There wasn't a trace of anger in his voice. Only grief and regret. Satan looked over at Solomon, "Then I'm sure we'd all like to sit with them?"

The others held their breath as they waited for the reply, but Solomon simply remained silent and refused to acknowledge them. "Please," Beelzebub begged through a sob. Belphie held on tightly to his twin's hand. It may have looked as though he had down it to comfort Beel, but in reality, that hand was the only thing keeping him on his feet. Beel took in a stuttered breath before continuing, "W-We messed up last night, and we can't t-take that back, but I-I need to be with them right now. Please. I-I can't leave them again." Again there was only silence, with the exception of Luke grumbling under his breath from where he sat beside you. Mammon huffed and moved towards the basin of water that had been set up on a side table. "Well I'm done waiting for permission," he thoroughly washed his hands and moved towards MC when Simeon moved in front of him. Mammon growled and had to keep himself from bursting into his demon form. "What's the big deal?! You said we could see 'em!" "I said see. Not touch," the angel provided pointedly. Leviathan frowned and came to Mammon's side. "Luke is literally holding their hand right now! He cleaned his hands! There's no reason why Luke should be able to touch them, when we, their significant others can't!" Luke's nostrils flared as he went to lunge at the demon, but was stopped by Solomon putting a hand on his shoulder. The young angel huffed and settled for snarling at them. "I was the one that saved them! I was the one that washed the blood off of their skin after Simeon and Solomon both nearly collapsed from exhaustion after working for four hours straight on keeping them alive. I was there for them! And you weren't!" "We messed up!" Leviathan screamed back, his demon form bursting into existence as he cried. "We messed up and we want to make things better! We want to be there for them now! You can't just keep us from them!" "Leviathan," Lucifer placed a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "Breathe. Please, I know you're upset. We all are. But we shouldn't forget what caused all of this in the first place." Leviathan ripped himself away from Lucifer's grasp and turned away from everyone. The occasional sob could be heard from him as his shoulders trembled. Lucifer sighed and looked pleadingly at Simeon. "Simeon, please. I know you owe us nothing and that MC may not even want to see them when they awake. But look at them. They're-" he cut himself off as his voice cracked and took a deep breath, "We're a mess. Please, just let us have a moment with them. That's all I ask." For the first time, Simeon's expression softened. He gathered up Luke and nodded at Solomon. The wizard pursed his lips in annoyance and glanced at the brothers once more before leaving the room. Simeon gave Lucifer a hard look as he held on tightly to Luke. "You will notify us immediately should even the slightest thing change from their current condition." Luke gaped at his fellow angel. "Simeon! No! We can't just leave them with those demons! Are you insane?" Simeon gave Luke a small smile. "They won't hurt them. I truly believe they wish to reconcile things and apologize for their words and actions. No matter how upset you may feel, this isn't our relationship Luke. It is not our place to meddle. MC will be safe with them." Luke grumbled under his breath and glowered at the brothers. "If so much as a hair is out of place when I get back, not even Micheal will be able to stop me from the vengeance I will inflict upon you." Mammon opened his mouth make a comeback, but was cut off by Lucifer. "Understood. Thank you for looking after our beloved in our absence." Luke scoffed and shook his head, before leaving with Simeon following behind him. The brothers stood in the room alone. They were with you, and yet they had never felt so far from you. ***To be continued in part 4! Still don't quite know how this will end, but it's bound to hurt. Sorry not sorry. In between uploading parts of this series, I will be doing other fics as well, just since this seems to be quite longer than I

had originally thought 😅 Thank you all for supporting this series! I hope you enjoyed it. Remember to drink water and take care of yourselves! I love you all!***

[helliontherapscallion]

Why Couldn’t it Have Been Me?

Part 2

Paring: Wilbur Soot x reader (past), Ghostbur x reader

Disclaimer: This contains major spoilers for Tommyinnit’s 4/29 lore stream

Warnings: swearing, violence, death, near death, cheating, 4/29 lore stream, grief, blood, injury, panic attack

Word count: 6,737

(A/N): So in this, you’re Schlatt’s twin and Puffy’s your older sister. Also, sorry for any mistakes, I typed a good 2/3 of this on my phone

This was your own personal hell: being trapped within cement walls with your ex fiance, your asshole of a brother, and a Dream wannabe that seemed to never lose any energy. Your life was like a trope in a novel alive you would’ve liked, however being cursed to live in it made you absolutely loathe any and all mention of it. 

Alive you would’ve killed to hang out with your brother again, not the one that turned to the bottle. Alive you would’ve craved the sweet melodies that streamed from Wilbur’s mouth. You would’ve swooned and maybe, just maybe, you would’ve forgiven him. Alive you would’ve perhaps liked this ‘Mexican Dream’ guy, you would’ve perhaps become the best of friends. 

However you despised the three locked up with you with your whole heart. 

Your ex fiance was someone you adored. Hell, you even idolized him when you were alive. The Wilbur you knew was sweet, loving, attentive, and just all around someone that you swooned over. You could still remember how your heart exploded when he first asked you out under the setting sun by the ocean. You remembered every song he's written for you, every word and rhythm by heart, even after all these years. 

You remembered how you felt your heart completely shatter when you found the songs he had in his drafts for someone that wasn't you. Someone by the name of 'Sally'. After a heated argument you had broken up with him, taking the engagement ring off from your finger and throwing it deep into the ocean. You stayed on L'Manberg's side even after all that, too loyal and proud towards the country you helped forge to drop it. You wouldn't let some stupid boy or rabid tyrants prevent you from raising your beautiful nation up from the ashes.

That had been your downfall. You should've listened to Puffy and left the country behind when you had the chance, now you paid the ultimate price for your deep rooted loyalty and devotion towards independence. And your sacrifice didn't even matter in the end! Your deranged ex blew it all to smithereens. If you didn't despise him before, you absolutely did after your dumbass twin told you about his little 'escapades' while you were gone.

Every little thing Wilbur did, no matter how small it was, made you hate him even more. Every time he would shuffle those damned cards, it made you want to rip them to shreds and throw them across the train tracks. Every time he would sing or even breathe, you wanted to strangle him. You were absolutely certain that Schlatt felt the same. 

Oh, your twin was a real card. Always boasting about how his horns were bigger than yours (who even cares anymore? Yours grew in first anyways), telling the others about your shortcomings through crude jokes, even going as far as fighting you through headbutting; you could still feel the pain of being beaten to death before respawning immediately. Schlatt hadn’t known that you respawn even in the afterlife, so you knew he was serious about killing you. You just wanted Puffy, she was far more tolerable than your twin. 

The rustling of his suit jacket and his small grunts and pants resonated within the walls as he did various forms of exercising. You now knew about all of the differing variations of a pushup and you hated yourself for listening to his explanations. He would beg you, Mexican Dream, and Wilbur to stand on his back while he did his endless routines. The only one to readily take him up on that offer was Mexican Dream.

That man was arguably the only one you slightly tolerated, and you said that very lightly. He was still annoying as all hell, but he was a new face. Well, one that you didn’t know well enough to have a grudge against while you were alive. It was slightly refreshing, in a sense. When he first got here, his songs, stories, and humor gave you a nice break away from Wilbur’s depressing songs and Schlatt’s crude jokes. However when you spend eleven years trapped in a cage with one person, everything they do becomes the bane of your existence. 

You were running out of things that kept you sane in this dump. You've read the same novel, counted the same ceiling and floor tiles (32 ceiling tiles and 57 floor tiles exactly), traced the same cracks in the walls, temporarily killing the same cellmates, you've done anything and everything that this cesspool had to offer. You've done everything billions of times over, a never ending cycle of monotony. 

Tommy joining your group of miserable has-beens was perhaps the highlight of your fifteen, almost sixteen, years spent in this shithole. Though he finally dropped the brave facade and showed just how broken down he was after everything he’s been through, having him around was the saving grace to your sanity. He told you how your sister was, how your nephews were, and most importantly what you missed. You knew about all of the events leading up to Mexican Dream's death, but you were left in the dark with everything past that. Ender, you missed so much since you died; It baffled you how much you missed. 

When the train actually stopped at your cell instead of just passing by and it's doors opened, you were just expecting another poor soul to be dropped off here. You could imagine everybody's surprise when none other than Dream stepped out of those doors. The nephew that had betrayed you without a second thought, that had murdered you, that had your severed head displayed on his mantle (you weren't sure the truth of that last statement, Tommy has a habit of over exaggerating. Though, Schlatt did say that your body was found with a missing head when you first forced him to tell you what you missed). Tommy talked to you about how he died only once, so you knew just what your nephew has been up to. It infuriated you knowing that your adult nephew was manipulating and abusing this young teenager.

While you were releasing your pent up frustrations on the masked man, he merely brushed past you and drug Tommy into the train by the arm. You could remember Wilbur banging on the doors begging for Dream to return his little brother and his angered screams echoing down the railways as the train sped off back towards the land of the living. 

Lucky Tommy, he got to live out the rest of his life and actually age. You and your crew of intolerable jesters were stuck together once again. 

Everybody was silent for a few months, reeling at the newly discovered fact that Dream could actually resurrect people. During those three months, they were quiet and tolerable. In a way, the talks that came out of it was like one of those family therapy sessions your older sister would hold in the living room (you remembered how she would grab you and Schlatt by the horns if either one of you refused to go). You would kill to attend one of those therapy sessions again, and this is the closest you were going to get to it. 

You all talked about the things you regretted most while you were alive. Mexican Dream's was that he didn't protect his girlfriend Mamacita well enough. Schlatt's was choosing alcohol and power over his family (tears were especially shed over Tubbo, he really did regret abandoning him to be raised by you). Yours was that you were too loyal to a cause that would be absolutely decimated a short while after you sacrificed everything for it. Surprisingly, Wilbur's was that he had hurt you.

He had begged and groveled for forgiveness, telling you that he just didn't feel that special connection with you anymore. That didn't take away from the fact that he was seeing another while you two were still dating and that he blew up your life's work. He had stolen everything from you, and you would never forgive him for that. 

After you made your thoughts on him completely clear, he had started treating you like you treated him in the last few months. Tension was building up between you two that had laid dormant for thirteen and a half years like a rope pulled taut about to snap.

Everybody had slowly returned to their annoying selves slowly but surely. Schlatt resumed his workout routine, Mexican Dream had started loudly singing and ranting about Mamacita's everlasting beauty again, and Wilbur eventually started up his solitaire and songwriting once again.

The three of them made you want to rip off your twisting horns and shove them in your ears in hopes of muffling them, but you knew that whomever put you here would restore your hearing and make your horns regrow. You knew that first hand after you spent a couple of years alone in this hellhole; breaking your horns off by repeatedly banging your head against the dull stone walls in a manic state was never fun. The regeneration of the keratin only slightly stung, it was like you were a kid and they were growing in for the first time again. 

You felt your eye twitch as Wilbur sang about that damned train for the umpteenth time since he arrived. It’s always ‘train this' and ‘train that' and quite frankly you were sick of it. You were sick of him. 

“Shut the fuck up about that damned train,” Schlatt seethed. You never once thought you would ever agree with your twin, but here you were nodding in agreement and shooting a glare at Wilbur’s direction. The brunet merely stopped his singing and reshuffled his cards, the sound making an ugly cacophony and grating at your ears. 

“Not my fault you two don’t want to talk to me. I’m just making due with what I’ve been given.” He dealt the cards out in piles and started yet another game of solitaire. Seriously, how many games of solitaire can one play before they lose it? You supposed that you’d find out soon, Wilbur has been playing that monotonous card game nonstop for thirteen and a half years.

“Yeah, let the hombre chill! I like his music.” The masked man reached up to stroke his goatee, the scratching sound further penetrating your focus on your book. 

Everything was quiet before Mexican Dream's voice pierced it, "hey, did I ever tell you guys how beautiful my Mamacita was?"

"You told us millions of times, fuckface. You narrate entire love letters daily, so how could we not know how 'beautiful' she was?" You complained, not once looking up from your book. Schlatt snorted to himself and returned to his workout. Mexican Dream crossed his arms in anger, cursing you out under his breath. Wilbur merely glanced at you and rolled his eyes. "You know, I'm tired of your bitchy attitude. Let him talk about Mamacita, it's not his fault every time you think you love someone it fails." 

Your grip on your book tightened impossibly. If it were physically possible, the book would be crumbling to dust in your voice grip. You practically see red as you slowly dog-eared the worn page you were on and put your book down. 

"Oh shit," you heard Schlatt mumble and move away from you, Mexican Dream following suit. When you both were alive, your anger was always something you knew Schlatt feared. However, you knew that he's never seen you this angry; nobody has. The majority of what you've been holding in for almost fourteen years is about to be unleashed. 

"You know what I'm sick of, Wilbur?"

"Oh, do enlighten us."

"I'm sick of each and every single one of you. You three have been absolutely intolerable ever since you arrived. I was doing just fine alone and the universe just had to fuck everything up for me, just like it always does."

"There you go again," Wilbur laughed sardonically, "making everything about yourself." He gathered his cards and shuffled them repeatedly. 

"I make everything about myself?! Do you even hear yourself? Mr. Oh-I'm-such-a-disappointment-to-Philza, you wallow in self pity twenty-four seven! You fucking write every single song about yourself!”

"I didn't want to come here, okay?! I didn't think it was gonna be like this! God, I might as well be in hell with you here." 

"Believe me, my hell started fourteen years ago when you guys started showing up," you growled out, your ears flattening to the sides of your skull.

"Have you ever stopped to think that you're our hell? All you've done since we came here was complain and be a massive douche to all of us." He fluttered through the deck more and more as the argument escalated, the noise making you want to scream until you tasted blood.

"I'm the one that's in the wrong here? You fucked up my entire life. He," you pointed at Schlatt, "keeps beating me to death. And he," you jutted your chin towards Mexican Dream, "never shuts the hell up… Would you stop with that damn deck?! You're literally so fucking annoying." 

He narrowed his eyes, "make me."

A mixture of an animalistic growl and a guttural scream left your lips as you charged at him, your head tilted downwards so he could feel the brunt of your horns. He moved out of the way just in time, the side of your horn brushing against his arm. You crashed head first into the stone wall before you stabilized yourself and looked at the brunet with seething hatred. 

He was staring at you in shock, "how're you-" You used his shock to your advantage, throwing a right hook at his face. His head whipped to the side and his body followed, sending him to the ground in a heap.

"How am I still conscious? I'm a ram hybrid, dumbass. What'd you expect?" You huffed angrily before you pried the cards out of his hand and stalked over to the tracks. 

He scrambled up to stop you, but before he could even reach you, you held the deck over the tracks and looked down at him. You could just imagine how your horizontal pupils were blazing with fury. 

You reveled in the betrayal and animosity gleaming in his eyes as you dangled the thing he held dearest in this hell over the railroads. If you were to drop them, he'd never be able to see them again.

"We promised not to touch belongings on our first day here!" He yelled at you, his hands wrung in front of him nervously hiding the slight tremor. "Our first day here?" You scoffed, "the last time I checked, I was here for two years before any of you showed up." You gestured around the room in one angry swipe, the cards slipping slightly with how sweaty your hands were. It was then that you saw the fear in Schlatt's eyes. Good, that bastard should be scared of you. "If anything, you all are in my domain."

Wilbur flinched at the sight of the cards slowly slipping out of your hand, his breath hitching and panic stricken across his features. Mexican Dream stood up from his place and put his hands up. He was slowly approaching you like you were a cornered wild animal, making sure that you saw his every move. 

He nervously chuckled, "let's just put the cards down and have a nice talk. Doesn't that sound better than this, mi amigo?"

You shook the cards once again, taking in Wilbur's silent anguish with glee. "I'm not your friend, I'm anything but. Don't tell me what to fucking do or else that picture of Mamacita is the next to go."

"...Okay, you're in charge, man. Do what you want." He reluctantly sat back down next to Schlatt. The ram was watching in fear, yet it looked like he was entertained with what was happening. You couldn't blame him, the last interesting thing that happened was three full months ago when Tommy was taken. That and you probably looked feral at the moment.

"You understand that if you drop those, they're lost forever right?"

You threw your head back and laughed, "of course I know, why do you think I only have one sock? I already tried that shit out before you came." You hummed to yourself in thought, then grinned. Wilbur was going to love this.

While you shuffled the deck, you kept a close eye on the movement happening inside the cell. Another perk to being a ram hybrid was that you had a nearly 360 degree scope of everything around you. The only movement happening was the panicked breaths from Wilbur, good. You huffed in amusement, "alright Wilbur, let's do a card trick. I'd ask you to pick a card, any card, but I don't want to risk you fucking shit up again. So, I'm just going to draw for you." You drew a card from the middle of the deck and showed it to him. "The eight of clubs, how fitting." 

"(Y/n), I don't know what you're getting at, but if you don't give me those cards right now-"

"Shut it, I'm not done. I'm going to shuffle this back into the deck, watch the hands." You kept eye contact with him as you shuffled the cards rigorously, the card you pulled long since hidden with the slight of a hand. After a bit of shuffling and reshuffling, you had sneakily put the card between the two halves and bridged them until the cards were in one pile with the eight of clubs on top. 

You chuckled and pulled the top card, once again showing it to him. "Is this your card?"

He nodded slightly, never once taking his eyes off from the deck. "Yes, now give it back to me!" The angry and anxious undertones were like music to your ears.

You tapped your chin in thought, "hm, I don't think I will. You've taken so much from me, it's only fair that I get some revenge." Without another word, you threw the cards behind your head and smiled widely at the sound of the fluttering down to the tracks. 

Wilbur launched himself forward with a frantic yell, his hands flailing to catch all of the cards before they were lost forever. He only succeeded in catching a few. 

His breath shuddered as he stared at the three cards in his hand: the five of diamonds, the four of spades, and the seven of hearts. The fate of the universe was on your side for once, perhaps preternaturally so. 

"You- do you realize what you just did?!" He spun around to face you. If humans could froth at the mouth, a full waterfall would be streaming through his gritted teeth. His eyes held the rage of a man that had just lost everything in one singular instant, the resentment swirling in his dark brown orbs. Several veins were bulging in his face and neck, painting the skin in a red hue.

You walked over to your book and plopped yourself down. "Yeah," you said with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders. You opened up your book and started reading it again, leaving the man to his grief. 

Everything was quiet once more much to your delight. Though you read this book from cover to cover thousands of times, enough to know most of the words by heart, you were never able to fully enjoy and immerse yourself in it with them around. You took this time to reclaim your designated corner and spend some quality time reading. 

You spent hours with your nose buried deep in your book, savoring the peace. That was until it was snatched out of your hands and ripped away from you. You looked up in slight shock at the sight of Wilbur snapping it shut and walking over to the tracks. 

No. No. Nononono he can’t. That was the only thing keeping you sane. He can't just get rid of it when he's done so much towards you when you were alive. 

A wail left your mouth as you tackled him to the ground, your arms wrapped around his midsection. He crashed to the ground with a grunt, his forehead smacking against the painted yellow stone. You straddled his back and ripped the book away from him, throwing it across the room and away from the tracks. 

You grabbed a fist full of his hair after yanking off his beanie and tossing it into oblivion with his precious cards. You pulled his head up and leaned close to his ear, "you try that shit again and your hat and cards won't be the only things lost to the void." Venom was seeping through your every word, "do you understand me?" 

He merely jerked his head to the side, colliding it with your nose and mouth. You shouted in surprise and let him go in favor of holding your aching nose. You could feel the warmth of the blood pouring from it. Through teary eyes, you looked up at Wilbur as he grabbed your book and flung it against the wall of the opposite side of the tracks. You scampered to the edge and watched in horror as it disappeared into the void. 

Without warning, you were forced to the ground, a hand holding you by a horn and a knee between your shoulder blades. You struggled before a dark chuckle was heard, "if you keep moving, you'll slip! Do you really want that?" You begrudgingly stopped, realizing that he had all the power in this situation. If he wanted to, he could just slide you off from the platform and toss you away like throwing a piece of paper into the trash.

"Good, you're not as stupid as you were earlier today." He slid you forward, holding your upper body over the tracks by the horn. You came face to face with the swirling abyss that was the void, small shapes appearing from your eyes adjusting to the sudden lack of visual stimulant. Your breathing picked up as he lowered you slightly, "you don't wanna do this." 

"No, I do. Thirteen and a half years of having to be around you was hell, but the shit you pulled today just put the icing on the cake. Do you have any last words before you go?"

You grunted as he shook your head slightly, a slight pain coming from the base of your horn. "Fuck you." 

"How appropriate, now let's see if you'll come back this time. It'll be our fun little science experiment!"

He dropped your horn without a care in the world, sending you plummeting to your demise. A terrified scream ripped it's way out of your throat and you screwed your eyes tightly shut in preparation for the void. Your body came to a jerking halt as you held your breath, preparing for… whatever awaited you. However, nothing came.

You cracked open an eye only to be met with the uncanny inkyness, the invisible mist freezing your face and its frostbitten arms opened wide for you. But you never fell into its embrace. 

Instead, you were pulled back onto the platform. You laid on your stomach with your horn supporting your head staring at the wall, tracing every single nook and cranny of the bricks. Your chest heaved as you greedily gasped for air. You never thought you'd be so relieved to see the cement walls you've been trapped in for over a decade and a half.

You were once again pulled up into a now sitting position and leaned against the wall, your back touching the cool cement. Across from you, you saw Mexican Dream pinning a struggling Wilbur down to the floor. Wilbur's crazed eyes met you, piercing through your very being. However, that didn't affect you in the slightest; you almost were just wiped from existence completely, you stared into the abyss and it stared back at you.

You felt… strange, to say the least. While icy fear and adrenaline coursed through your veins, you felt warmth blossoming in you at the same time. It was like the void was an actual person, politely giving you some form of relief from the hell you've been subjected to for over a decade and a half. It was so welcoming, not terrifying like you initially thought it was. When your fingertips grazed its surface it felt freezing to the touch, yet you felt the staticky power it was showing you. In that split moment of touching it, you had already accepted the power it held over you. 

A hand softly slapped your cheek, "c'mon, (y/n). Talk to me." Your eyes drifted lazily to your twin. He was extremely pale, his eyes frantically searching your face for any sign of responsiveness. When you looked at him, he visibly relaxed. "It was so… so beautiful, Schlatt."

"Yeah, what the actual fuck did you just say? You almost just- just died for good dumbass." He looked at you incredulously, you could just see the cogs in his brain working hard to process what the hell he was seeing. 

You looked back at Wilbur, he had stopped struggling slightly and was instead looking at you with a hint of confusion shining through the crazed daze. Mexican Dream tilted his head, the mask skewing slightly to the side of his face. "Thank you, Wilbur. You've shown me that there's… there's more to this hellhole than suffering. There's beauty in the darkness." His struggling had come to a complete halt, now staring at you with the most confusion you've ever seen from him. You also saw a very small hint of fear from deep within his irises.

A calloused hand gripped your chin and forced you to look back at your twin. "What are you on," he hissed lowly, "the stuff that's comin outta your mouth right now is actually batshit insane. He almost just permanently murked you and you're fucking thanking him." 

"I haven't felt this at ease in nearly two decades. I feel ethereal, Schlatt, and it's all thanks to him." You let your eyes drift over to Wilbur. Giving him a content smile, you nodded your thanks at him.

The next few days went by tensely for the others, eyeing your every move and keeping you away from the ledge. You had only peered over the ledge once since then, it was just so alluring to you. It was nothing, yet everything at the same time. Mexican Dream had pulled you back to the opposite end of the room by your horns. The part that disturbed the three men was that you said absolutely nothing about it. You didn't even struggle against it, you just laid limp and let it happen. 

With each passing second you spent away from the void, the feeling of utter peace was rapidly draining from your body; instead being replaced by icy fear, paranoia, and the realization that you were almost completely swallowed whole by the void. 

After coming back to your senses, you didn't allow anybody near you. Your instincts going haywire and screaming that they were going to hurt you if they came close. The last time Schlatt tried touching you, you damn near took his finger off. They didn't bother trying to approach you anymore, instead glancing at you from the corners of their eyes. Wilbur was perhaps the one you feared the most, you knew that if he didn't hesitate to toss you away the first time, he would surely do it a second time. He spent most of his time staring at you, you didn't know if he was zoned out or not.

Everybody was against you, you knew it. You just knew it. They were plotting to toss you back into the void. That thing- or was it an entity? Whatever it was held a power over you that you didn't know was possible. That trance that it put you in, the craving you felt, was something that was repeating like a broken record in your mind. You could still feel the void calling out to you, it was terrifying. 

You spent most of the time huddled in your corner staring at the fingers that had grazed the textured nothingness. You could still feel the buzzing and popping of the power on your fingertips, that inky residue staining your skin wouldn't come off. No matter how hard you scrubbed, scratched, or scraped, it would not leave your body. It was freezing.

The oncoming train screeching to a gradual stop was perhaps the only thing you fully acknowledged outside of your safety bubble in days. You watched in shock as it stopped at the platform. The doors opened with a fwoosh, fog pouring out onto the smooth stone floors. 

Out stepped Dream, the smile etched into his cracked mask sent chills to your core. Next to him was… was another Wilbur? How in the name of Ender was that even possible? 

This Wilbur was different though. This one was desaturated. This one didn't have an insane glint in his eyes, this one had grief shimmering in the tears that steamed on his cheeks. This one was broken compared to the well established man against the wall. This one was defenseless. 

Dream shoved him to the center of the room, the man falling to his hands and knees. Sobs escaped his mouth as steam left his skin and drifted along the sides of his face before dissolving into the air. 

"Got a new plaything for you guys, this one isn't as… fun as Wilbur is though." Dream's head turned towards you before it tilted. "What happened there? Did our dear little (y/n) get too close to the void?" 

"They are none of your concern, pandejo," Mexican Dream seethed at his counterpart from his position next to the train. "Why are you even here, man?"

"Oh, I'm just here to make a trade. I'm afraid that I'll have to give you guys Ghostbur here in exchange for Wilbur."

Wilbur stared at him with pure hope and glee springing up in his eye for the first time in over a decade. "Really?" 

Dream chuckled, "yes, really. What, do you really think I'd lie to you?" 

"I don't know, ya smiley freak. You've been known to fuck people over." Schlatt scoffed, his ear flicking in annoyance. 

"I'm telling the truth this time. Wilbur, come with me." 

Stars shone in his eyes as he reveled in the sight of the open train doors. He followed the masked man with a skip in his step, ecstatic giggles leaving his mouth as he boarded. 

Anger flooded you as you purse your lips together and you darted towards the train. The doors were closing already, if you could just- 

The door shut with a clank, blocking you from freedom. Your clenched fists banged against the window, glowering at the sight of Wilbur's happiness and Dream looking at you with a wave.

"You fucking bastard! Take me, he doesn't deserve it! He threw his goddamned life away, you're wasting your time with him!" Your angry shouts were ignored by the two however as the train once again started moving with a small hiss. 

A frustrated scream left your mouth as you pummeled the iron with your fists as it moved. If only you could find a train car to jump onto- 

Now. You leapt from the platform towards the junction between two of the train cars. However, your leap of faith was set to a halt midair by Schlatt holding your upper arms. You thrashed against him, desperate to get back to the land of the living, desperate to leave this godforsaken hell called the afterlife, but once again, you were torn away from what you were trying to achieve. 

You fell limp as you watched the last train car pass the platform and disappear down the tracks and into the void. The next possible time it would show it’s face would be in a few months if you were lucky. You let him take you back to your corner, your feet limply being drug against the floor. After you were plopped back down, you stared at the clone of your ex. You were pretty sure Dream said that his name was ‘Ghostbur’. What a strange name, yet you supposed that it was fitting for Wilbur’s apparition. 

“Are ya done with your little ‘moment’, (y/n)?” Schlatt was kneeling in front of you, his hands prepared to grab you if you made a run for it. Though his tone was annoyed, you could detect the very small worried undertone of his voice. 

You nodded and watched as he took a seat next to you, also staring at the newcomer. This is the closest he’s sat next to you in years. 

“...What do you think of the clone over there?” You hummed to yourself, “he looks pathetic, but I think that might be the only thing he and Wilbur share.” 

Mexican Dream took a seat next to you, slinging an arm over your shoulders. Normally, you would’ve shrugged him off, but you were too emotionally drained to do so. “Si, he does look kinda weak. But I think our new hombre here has promise.” 

“Promise for what?” Schlatt snorted. Mexican Dream hesitated, “...I don’t know. This is gonna be interesting, mis amigos.” 

“The party’s just begun, boys. Buckle up, this is gonna be a wild fucking ride.” You mused to them, unsure of what the future would hold with the newcomer. Though after a couple of years, you were sure you were going to hate him; that is if he’s nothing like his clone. Ender help you if he’s anything like Wilbur. 

As you stared at the broken man, you couldn’t help but wonder: why did he get to go back? As far as you were concerned, psychopaths like him do not deserve a second chance at life. If anything, it should be you boarding that train. It should be you getting a second chance. He was the one that so readily threw his life away while you had yours ripped away from you.

One continuous thought was circling in your mind: why couldn’t it have been me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wrung your hands together as you anxiously waited for Tommy, Ghostbur, and Friend outside of Pandora’s Vault. Ranboo and Tubbo sat next to you in the grass, giving you silent comfort with their presence. You were mainly worried for your boyfriend, his worst fear was Dream using the resurrection book on him. You had calmed him down from a panic attack prior to meeting up with the teenagers, begging him to let you go in his place. Of course, Ghostbur being the caring and brave soul he was, wove you off and ensured that he’d be okay. 

When you saw someone emerging from the portal, you leapt to your feet and steadied your head on your shoulders before you examined the people emerging. Except you only saw a human and a sheep, no ghost. 

Tommy looked pale and on the verge of tears as he led Friend towards you. Before he spoke, he used his sleeve to wipe at his tears. 

“Hey, Tommy! How did it- where’s Ghostbur?” The enderman hybrid stretched his usually slouched back to peer at the portal, keen eyes searching for any sign of movement. 

“I think he’s dead… He’s dead!” 

Tubbo tilted his head and looked up at the blond in confusion, “well, yeah. He’s a ghost. Of course he’s dead.” Ranboo nodded in agreement, “yeah, he can’t die again. That just isn’t possible.”

You said nothing (not like you could in the first place, your head wasn’t connected to your body), looking into Tommy’s eyes inquisitively. They were chock full of panic, grief, and fear, staring down at the lead in his clenched hands. 

“No, no you don’t understand, it’s not that he’s dead… it’s that Wilbur’s back.”

“Hold on, the Wilbur that blew up L’Manberg? That Wilbur?” Ranboo peered down at him incredulously. “Yes! C’mon, he- we gotta get to L’Manberg.” 

He spun around and led Friend towards L’Manberg, walking quickly with a purpose. You, Ranboo, and Tubbo followed. You hugged your head close to your chest, your eyes peeking over your arms. It was always something you’ve done whenever you were scared or worried about something. You heard stories about Wilbur from your nephew, if the stories of his insanity terrified you, you’d hate to see the man in person. 

“I was about to kill Dream, and- and Ghostbur died. Dream revived Wilbur… Fuck!” Tommy walked faster, L’Manberg far off in the distance. With one hand, you grabbed the blond’s attention and finger spelled, ‘are you serious? He’s actually gone?’

“Yes! How many times do I have to explain this?! Ghostbur isn’t with us anymore and Wilbur’s back. Wilbur’s back and we’re absolutely fucked.” He turned on his heel and resumed his beeline towards the crater in the wall. No, he couldn’t be gone. This was just a cruel prank they were pulling on you, right? 

Tubbo put a comforting hand on your shoulder, giving you a small sympathetic smile. You leaned into his touch slightly and carried on, stepping into the makeshift staircase behind Tommy. 

You moved your arms to cover your eyes as you stepped aside to make room for the other two teenagers. You heard a voice; it sounded exactly like Ghostbur’s voice, yet it sounded... off. You however remained hopeful and uncovered your eyes. 

The man that stood there certainly wasn’t your boyfriend. Everything about him was just so wrong. The emotion in his eyes, his clothing, his smile, his stance, his hair, everything. This was a completely different person. This was Wilbur Soot. 

“Hello again.” His eyes flicked around your group, his gaze lingering on you for longer than the rest. You noticed that he was staring at your neck, but that was okay. You were used to it; everybody did that. What you weren’t used to was the revulsion that flashed in his eyes. The eyes that once lovingly stared at you and reassured you that he’d love you even with your… condition were now filled with disgust. 

That was what broke you, the tears that you tried to hold in came streaming out like a waterfall. Stinging pain hit you as the water worked its way through the cloth of your uniform onto your arms, leaving steam floating upwards towards the cave ceiling. You phased through Ranboo’s body and made a mad dash towards your sister’s house. You needed her, you could feel a panic attack brewing inside you. Usually you would hate to be a bother to your older sister and Ghostbur would always calm you down, but now he’s…

You pushed that thought aside and focused completely on getting to Puffy’s house in the distance. You phased through the door without a thought to knock, frantically beginning your search for Puffy. 

You looked everywhere, but you couldn’t find her. Unable to cope any longer, you fell to your knees in the middle of the living room and hugged your head to your chest, your face being pushed against your uniform. Your shoulders shook with silent painful sobs, the only sound in the room being the sizzling of your skin. 

Why couldn’t it have been you? It should be Ghostbur standing there in that cavern, not Wilbur. This was completely your fault, you should’ve gone instead of him. You should’ve volunteered quicker than he did, you shouldn’t have let him talk you into it with his soothing words. Now because of your complete and utter cowardice, he was stuck in the afterlife once again. You were never going to see him any time soon. Your other half was ripped away from you because of your inaction. 

Between sobs, your lips repeatedly formed the same phrase: why couldn’t it have been me?

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[hailene]

Silver

genre: enemies to lovers!au, suggestive | wc: 0.5 K | tw: mentions of blood and fighting

You hold the silver blade against the flesh of his throat, almost excited to see him in pain for the first time in your life. It's been annoying, being a cold glint away from him but without ever being able to stain it with his blood. It has always been only yours. But not too much of that either.

The way he was watching you was frustrating you even more, making you tighten your grip on the knife handle even more. You would have done anything to wipe the mischevious smile off his face. It made your blood boil, it made you strive for his pain.

"Not very wise of you," you say slowly, leaning in the slightest bit. "Choosing this place... where no one would ever hear you scream."

The truth was that it was something you couldn't quite understand– why would anyone ever want to be isolated like this? Not that he would need it, but wanting to be heard when crying for help is in human nature, no matter who you are.

You realized, however, that it was something that your mind hadn't figured out. For a moment, you feel fear. The fear of realizing you are not in control anymore.

His smile doesn't falter the slightest bit.

He leans in, the skin of his throat touching your blade ever so slightly. You almost felt relief washing over you– his crimson velvet blood was sliding down your blade gently, those few drops almost curing your life-time starvation. It wasn't enough, no, but it was so so fascinating.

"Do you know what that means?" He asks, voice unexpectedly hoarse.

You don't.

His smirk widens.

He puts his hand over that one of yours holding the knife. The gesture takes you off guard, leaving you unable to fight back or to do anything against it. His skin was warm, annoyingly warm against yours and to you this simple fact was so incredibly weird. How could a cold-blooded freak have such soft, warm hands?

He guides your hand downwards, freeing him from the deadly trap of the blade. It was almost like you were possessed, stunned, unable to do anything against his will.

You don't want to put the blade down. But eventually, you do.

You look at him, unable to mask your surprise anymore. Considering the smile on his lips, you could imagine that it was so obvious to both of you that even from underneath a death blade, Hyunjin will always have the upper hand.

His other hand flies to your cheek, while he leans in to your left. You have been this close to him countless times. So why, why was this... different?

Why was your heart beating faster?

He lets out a soft breath, tingling the skin of your ear and making you shiver embarrassingly from head to toe. You could have slit his throat. But now he's going to be the one ripping the heart out of your chest.

For the first time ever, you fall at peace with giving in. You fall at peace with giving into Hyunjin.

"That no one would be able to hear you either, love."

[vicious-vixxxen]

Hi, first of all ur work is amazing and awesome, especially the Kiri fics they make me feel so warm inside :)) ANYWAYS I have a drabble idea: Katsuki with a flirty male reader from 1-B that likes to tease him and make him flustered and fired up as much as possible (kinda like Monoma but not as aggressive) and finally Katsuki decides that it’s reader’s turn to get all flustered and blushing and all that hehe :)

AH I absolutely LOVE this idea! Sorry it took me so long to get to it babes, but I hope you enjoy it :3 <3 Bakugou Katsuki X Flirty Male!Reader

“You think /you’re/ tired? I heard class A had to go through ten times the beasts we did yesterday, /and/ they didn’t get to camp until five.” TetsuTetsu huffed, rolling his eyes as he continued to rub at his sore biceps- falling behind as the class walked to their first official day of training. “They’re probably still struggling to work as an actual unit, how disappointing,” Monoma drawled, flinching as Kendo raised a hand at him in warning- her gaze cutting back to you with an apologetic smile, but you shrugged her off. “I’m just saying, if they were half as good as everyone assumes they are, then we wouldn’t have had to make dinner for everyone /alone/ yesterday. A bunch of unimpressive slackers, the fame is definitely getting to them.” “Oh give it a rest, Monoma! I swear if I have to keep listening to your incessant whining i’m going to roundhouse you so hard you slip into an alternate dimension,” You teased, though the sharpness of your tone, and the look you fixed the other boy with managed to reduce him to nothing more than some bitter grumbling, as you jogged ahead to follow directly behind Vlad-Sensei.

“Young Y/N is right! No use in comparing yourself to a separately tiered class, what you all should be doing is preparing yourselves for a day full of grueling training!” Vlad called out to the class behind him, as they came to their final stop. Looking out across the vast fields of the camp, where class 1A was already deep in training. All of them spread out to various areas of the site, some farther out than others, you assumed due to the volatile nature of their quirks. Some out of site all together, given the specificity needed to train their quirks. “The Wild Wild Pussycats have strict regimens for you all to follow, and I as well have critiques for you all regarding your fighting style, and quirk application. Check in with them across the field first, and regroup back to me so we can begin!” “Yes Sensei!” You all chanted back, before hurrying off across the field to do as you were told. Though once you caught sight of- and really, it was more his blood curdling death screams that you noticed first, music to your ears honestly- unruly blonde spikes off in the distance, you reasoned you had at least a few minutes to spare. Giving your classmates time to get their schedules and regimes before you could swoop in for yours last minute. The heat from Bakugou’s blasts was intense- your hair blowing back each time the other boy extended his palms to the sky, screamed, and released an explosion. The air felt thick, the scent of sweaty flesh, and deep, rich caramel wafting against your face, heady, and thick, with each blast. It was intoxicating. The closer you got, the more your cheeks flushed- though it had nothing to do with the heat anymore. Up close, or as close as you could get without being blown back entirely, that is- the more handsome Bakugou became. Pinched, angry expression and all. His front fringe of hair hanging low on his forehead, dripping sweat down onto his cheeks, and then onto the exposed upper half of his chest, bared due to his low rising tank top. When was Bakugou not absolutely breathtaking, you wondered idly, as you reached into your backpack for a bottle of water, and whistled loudly between blasts to catch the blonde's attention. Though the glare he fixed you with as your eyes met almost, almost deterred you from closing the distance between you both, it didn’t quite reach the innermost parts of your brain, meant for rational thought. “What the hell do you want!? Can’t you see i’m busy? Take your ass back to your class, extra!” Bakugou shouted, gaze falling to the bottle of water in your hand, before he focused back in on his task, baring his teeth in pain as the boiling water engulfed his hands. But you were too close now, it was too risky, and before you could think to back away on your own, Bakugou was crowding up against you. Spinning around on his heels and blasting in the opposite direction, back to you now. Shoving you backwards so hard with his own body you fell to the ground. Hissing as you landed on a particularly sharp rock. “See what you did?! I could’ve accidentally taken someone else out because of you! Fucking...gimme that,” Bakugou growled, shaking his hands of the smoke from his blast, before bending down to snatch the chilled bottle of water from your hand with one of his- his other reaching down to take hold of the front of your shirt, and tug you back up to stand next to him. “Always in my way!” Bakugou hissed, before throwing his head back and chugging down the entire bottle in a matter of seconds. Wiping at his mouth roughly, he turned to you slightly, noting the mischievous smile on your face, and the dirt on your shorts. “Tch...what?” He asked, knowing he was walking himself right into a trap. “Just admiring the view,” You sing-songed, skirting around his sudden extended fist easily, and dancing around the boy to get a good look at his training clothes. “It’s not everyday I get to see UA’s own Bakugou Katsuki in the midst of an intense training session. All sweaty, and bulking- muscles just….grr,” You laughed, holding your hands up in front of your face as you growled and made pawing motions at the other boy- bursting into a fit of laughter ass he reeled back, blush high on his cheeks, fingers twitching with the urge to blas your fucking face off. “You’re an insufferable piece of!-” “What I can’t seem to wrap my head around, is how you have such a big chest, such defined shoulders, and such a teeny, tiny waist,” You sighed, cutting Bakugou off with your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the side curiously as you scanned him up and down. “Your tits are bigger than most of the girls in your class, ya know,” You added, as if an afterthought, waving a hand passively at the thought, though you couldn’t help but grin as Bakugou charged you- dragging you up by the front of your shirt again, and pinning you to the barrel of boiling water. One hand holding your head down near the bubbling surface, and one right next to your ear, sparking with unlit nitroglycerin. “I. Don’t. Have. Tits. You. Shitty. Extra.” Each word was laced with venom, husky and full of rage right next to your ear, and god. Was it fucked up you were kind of turned on? Probably. About as fucked up as it was to be genuinely attracted to Bakugou in the first place, you supposed. Oh well. Not much to be done about it now. “Say that to the mounds pressing up against my back right now, babe,” You teased, turning your head to face Bakugou, your noses barely brushing as you leaned in as best you could, given the hand in your hair- mouth curling into a knowing smirk as Bakugou’s face twisted back and forth- confusion, rage, annoyance, misunderstanding...want. “I’m sure your teacher would be thrilled to see you over here keeping one of my students from his training, instead of focusing on your own abilities,” Someone sighed from your right, and both you and Bakugou’s head whipped up to see Aizawa leaning against a tree, staring at the both of you with the most bored expression you could imagine someone having. “Tried to get the loser away from me, but he’s as persistent as the rest of his annoying class,” Bakugou huffed, letting you go, but not before pushing you in the direction of his teacher roughly- crackling his knuckles out in front of himself, and shaking his hands out. Prepared to continue his training. Though thoughts of your stupid face, so close to his- scent of your shampoo, and minty breath still searing his nose made him a trillion times more annoyed then he’d already been. The color of your eyes stuck with him the most though. So clear. So shiny. Full of authority, of mirth, and something so...gut wrenchingly /cute/, he couldn’t stand it. “Sorry, EraserHead. Didn’t mean to disturb your student. Was just being friendly is all,” You assured the older Hero, hands up in surrender as you walked alongside side him, and back to regroup with your class- smiling smugly to yourself when you noticed the barest hint of a smirk on Eraserheads face, just before he turned away and skulked off to whatever dark, cozy corner he had been observing his students from.

Training felt like it had lasted forever, and then some. The following days were no easier. Your bodies were pushed to their limits, and then thrown off the metaphorical cliff afterwards. Every day, class A and B were sore, tired, irritable. But even then, once lunch, and dinner came around, it offered you all a chance to get to know one another more intimately. You talked, and mingled with class 1A- flirting with Todoroki for fun, and picking Midoriya’s brain about his hero notebook- unaware of the red eyes following your every move amongst the classmates. Your flirting with Bakugou was at an all time high- given you could usually spare a handful of minutes each day teasing the young man, whether it be with words during training, lingering touches, or brushes of hands, and legs during dinner, or with outright winks, and kisses blown to the blonde as you all departed to your cabins for the night. It infuriated Bakugou to no end. Your presence. The way he acted out against you...his mother would suggest he needed an attitude adjustment, and that he should allow the fun part of camp to take precedent over his ultimate number one hero goal. As if he’d ever. But still, her frustrated words of encouragement never ceased to ease up as the days went by, and you became bolder with your flirting. Bakugou felt on edge constantly, like someone was going to crack a whip at him at any moment. Say something about it, say something about /him/, but no one ever did. Probably because they were scared. His only saving grace, he supposed. Being intimidating. Though he didn’t intimidate /you/, which was the part he hated the most. ...He’d just have to switch up his tactics, then. His mother would be proud. God, he hated that. After a particularly grueling day of training, everyone was running on fumes, more or less, as they shuffled around the outdoor kitchen, prepping dinner lazily. Monoma picking stupid fights with whoever he came across first, as though he were too tired to even do that. You’d been chatting quietly to Mina and Jirou about some of your favorite albums, when a whistle from across the counters had all three of you lifting your heads. Curiosity piqued to the fullest extent, as your gaze landed on Bakugou- pointing at you with a hard expression, before gesturing to the spot next to him at the cutting board station. His eyes downcast again before you could even register what was going on, before hurrying to head over before whatever demon that had possessed Bakugou, decided to get the fuck out of such a toxic human host. Beaming, you came to stand at Bakugou’s side, arms brushing against each other as you glanced down at the finely minced veggies the boy was working on. “You rang?” Brows raised in question, you ducked your head to try and catch the boy’s eyes again- stopping dead in your tracks as he grabbed a hold of your wrist tightly, and slid a knife between your fingers. Tugging you impossibly closer to his side, and reaching an arm around you to grab a stray carrot. Boxing you into the bench, and maneuvering your fingers carefully as he began to force you to chop the carrot below. His front was flush with your back, and suddenly you couldn’t breath. Breath hitched in your throat, flush high on your cheeks, as Bakugou bent down, face right next to yours, as he forced you to chop, knife always skirting a little /too/ close to your fingertips, but fuck it all if you weren’t willing to lose them for this encounter to continue. “All this time and you haven’t even learned to chop properly. Make yourself more useful, you shitty extra,” He grunted, right into your ear. A sharp shock of arousal shooting down your spine as he spoke, looking away suddenly as Bakugou turned to try and meet your gaze. “Eh? What’s the problem, extra? Cat got your fucking tongue?’ He teased, harshly, though his grasp on your hands lessened, and fuck you were gonna pass out if you didn’t start breathing soon. “Oh,” He huffed suddenly, snickering under his breath, as he crowded you in up against the bench entirely, completely flush with your back, before his lips ghosted the shelf of your ear, and he whispered “-probably because of my big tits, huh? Tch.” And then he was gone. Gone from your back, gone from the shell of your ear, gone from giving you a religious fucking experience, and thankfully gone from nearly making you jizz your jeans in front of the entireety of class A and B. Your hands shook where they now held the knife solo, and you glanced over your shoulder- watching Bakugou stuff his hands in his pockets, arch his shoulders, and stalk off to the cabins. Though not before you also caught the sharp, devilish smirk that twisted up on his face. What a fucking DICK. But a dick who was handsome as fuck, and knew exactly what he was doing. “Alright, Bakugou, you wanna play, big boy?” You whispered to yourself, voice shaky as you continued chopping vegetables. “I’ll bite. Show you how it’s done...right after I pass out, Jesus fucking Chri-” 

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hi, I absolutely adore your writing and it’s quite inspiring and making my imagination go WEEWOO!

Could I request something for YJ With Dick? So like a headcanon or one shot (which ever you prefer queen) where the reader is quite reserved, snarky and can get angry real fast. They have feelings for Rob and they are especially snarky to him to hide their feelings, but they eventually start to open up more and during the events of episode 24 (you know, the one at haly’s circus), they open up to him and they confess? And he does the same?

Flower Language

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Robin x Reader

Warnings: Blood and injuries and plant death.

Word Count: 3.8k words

A/N: This is kind of my take on the Hanahaki disease, kind of. This was so much fun to write honestly, I didn't realize I like all this floral stuff so much. It also reminded me of another 'True Love's Kiss' trope I wrote for Dick Grayson as well. Also I changed the episode this was based on because I’ve already done something based on the episode with Haly’s circus @hanbedumbaf I really really really hope you enjoy it! Sorry it was so late, I finished it a month back but it was in my queue.

Adrenaline was a common feeling to you. A little too familiar. The life of a superhero puts you in peril more times than you would like but it was the only life you had known. You knew the familiar feeling of sweat forming on your skin and your heart pounding so loudly that you could hear it in every step you took.

However, when you heard the pounding, it was because there was a supervillain, usually hairy, chasing after you and determined to get your head on a stake.

Although, feeling your heart jump to your throat was becoming more familiar whenever you were around a certain someone. Robin annoyed you to no end, whenever he was around you couldn't help your face from growing warm and your lips from tingling to form a permanent smile on your face.

Having a crush was irritating, you couldn't think or even function without thinking of him. It was frankly humiliating, you were always so gung-ho about being bold and to the point and yet whenever you were around Boy Wonder, you couldn't help but bend your personality to something you felt like would appeal to him more.

Sometimes, you couldn't even stand yourself.

And so, as a pathetic act of rebellion, and maybe as a clear-cut sign that you had no idea how to handle emotions or anything similar to it, every time your heart got just a little soft, your tongue got a whole lot sharper. Probably not the best way to win a boy’s heart. But you weren't here for a romance story.

It was also a true sign that you had no idea how to flirt, thinking that borderline insulting witty banter was the way to go. Or perhaps it was a way of controlling your emotions, since being bitter and snarky was the thing that came easiest to you.

You seriously needed better tactics.

It was also your oblivious mistake thinking that Robin only saw what you wanted him to see. He was raised to be a detective, of course he was more observant than that. Papa (or let's be real, Alfred) didn't raise no fool.

You made the mistake of thinking Robin saw you as strong and independent and bold, just as the rest of them did. But he saw much more than that.

Robin was distressed by the number of crying faces around him, the kids were inconsolable which was understandable because of just how many things went wrong in the past couple of hours. To be quite frank, Robin was a couple seconds away from having a fit himself.

"Shh, little one," He heard distantly and his neck practically snapped. You were crouching in front of the few who were crying, with a small nurturing smile. It was the first time he had seen you out of uniform, usually referring to you as Antheia, named after the goddess of flowers, but this wasn't she.

"I know you're scared, my flowers, but I promise, we will find your parents." You soothed, gently wiping away their tears. They still looked up at you apprehensively and with uncertainty.

"I'll show you a magic trick." You began, grinning as the kids began to smile back at you. You pulled a seed out of your pocket and held it between closed hands, using a bit of your powers and felt it grow in your palms. When you revealed what you were holding, they collectively gasped.

A bud of a flower now rested in your hand. You smiled at their innocent eyes and held it to them, "Now I'm going to need your help for the next part. Everyone has to blow on the flower."

They nodded eagerly, crawling around you and on the count of three, everyone followed your instructions. And low and behold, the bud bloomed into a beautiful blossom right between your fingers.

One of the girls clamoured into your lap to hold the flower herself and you chuckled, wrapping your arms tightly around her, "You know what this flower means?"

They shook their heads, "It means faith, and hope. If you have faith and hope in us, then you'll get something beautiful in return."

For once, they look contemplatively and you chuckled, feeling pride at the fact that you managed to sow some wisdom in their minds. The girl that had been sitting in your lap turned in your grasp, with the flower in her hand and then reached up to tuck it behind your ear.

"For me?" She nodded happily and you smiled widely, kissing her cheek, "Thank you, petal."

Satisfied that you were able to calm them down, you gently placed the girl back on the floor before moving away from the group. Just as you were about to join the others, you ran into Robin. You didn't know he had just seen the whole thing.

Pulling the flower from behind your ear, you handed it to him, "You know in some cultures, this flower means to pick up the slack and stop looking like a confused chicken." You snapped.

Business as usual.

Robin looked back to the flower you had slipped into his hands, you had said it meant faith and hope, and you had given it to him. He looked back up to see you shuffling away from him quickly, a blush on your face. He smiled.

You were more nurturing and kinder than you let on, it was like it was programmed into your personality and yet you never showed it when you knew they were watching. That wasn't the only part of yourself that you were hesitant to show them.

And the more Robin observed you, the more he realized that you used flower language to depict a lot of your emotions. It was a silent way of letting them out, without having to tell other people what's really in your heart.

You thought you were sly about it, but nothing went under Robin's radar.

Everyone was watching a movie on the flat screen in the rec room. You hadn't realized you were so tired, the movie was boring, something that M'Gann had picked and you hadn't slept the night before, busy patrolling your city.

Your eyelids began to droop before you could even understand what was going on, your head lolling as you drifted in and out of consciousness.

Robin hadn't realized that he was napping through the movie until he felt a weight on his shoulder. He nearly jumped awake and glanced to his side to see you sound asleep, breathing gently. He nearly chuckled, was this what you looked like when you weren't scowling at everybody?

His heart skipped a beat, god, were you beautiful. The smell of flowers vaguely hit his nose and he noticed the red gardenia plant growing steadily in the corner of the room.

'Red Gardenias means a secret love,' Robin recalled from a book he had read, 'It's a secret way for someone to say I love you.'

He glanced back at you still sleeping peacefully, face completely relaxed and briefly wondered if your powers were taking the lead on your emotions and making gardenias grow around the cave. Or were you dreaming about something?

Something in his heart grew, here you were sleeping against his shoulder, making symbols of a secret love grow around the room. This had to be a sign of something, right?

Before he could contemplate it any further, you squirmed and then began to stir. Your eyes fluttered open, hazily taking in your surroundings before they landed on the boy beside you and widened in size, skin darkening with a blush.

"Why the fuck didn't you wake me up?" You snapped and turned on your heel to stomp out of the room without even waiting for a response from him. The others who noticed the way he was just staring at the place you were in surprise. You always do such a 180 when you're around him and conscious.

"Wow, sunshine's crabby in the morning." Wally commented from beside him. When he didn't get any response, he looked over to see Robin with a silly smile on his face.

Dick couldn't stop himself from grinning. The gardenias were still blooming.

***

"Antheia, do you think you will be able to stop the plants from growing any further?" Batman turned to face you, only to find you staring at him with a hazy, blank expression.

"Antheia?" Robin called but you didn't even flinch, your eyes were locked onto the holo-computer, seeing the thick vines that were twisting and turning. Their call was overwhelming, you could feel them grow even beneath your feet. It was like a siren was blearing through your head.

You couldn't tell what they were trying to say, it was like they were muffled. It was confused and lost, following Ivy and it was happy listening to her. And yet, it was feeling pain, the Justice League was busy pruning her as we speak. It was scared, crying out for someone to help them and you felt obligated to help. Your mind was getting heavy, throbbing with an oncoming migraine.

"(Y/N)!" Your eyes snapped open and focused onto the boy in front of you. Everyone was staring at you in concern and you blinked, suddenly not able to remember what the hell was going on. You were just trying to focus on something other than the screams and cries of the plant.

"......What?" You asked a little dumbly, noticing the concern on Robin's face. The plants were still crying. You couldn't get the painful sound of their screams out of your mind. You felt like curling up into a ball and crying.

"Batman asked if you would be able to stop the plants?"

"Oh, um, no." You answered in a distracted way that made his face pinch with worry. His hands were still grasping your shoulders tightly, keeping his face in close proximity to yours. You didn't even realize, too out of it to even notice.

Robin on the other hand felt his cheeks get uncomfortably hot the more you stared at him with those innocent, beautiful eyes of yours. If Batman hadn't been breathing down his neck, he was sure he would've kissed you in the moment.

Unfortunately for him, his dad always knew how to ruin the moment. And he would continue to for the rest of his life. Until death do them part. Even after the two of you grow up and live together, the Batman would find some way to interrupt your fun.

"Robin?"

"Huh?"

"The mission."

Oh. Right.

***

"Robin!" You screamed when one of Ivy's plants wrapped around his neck and slammed him against the trees. They didn't let up curling tighter around his throat. Fear struck you as he began choking from breath and you knew you had to do something.

Suddenly murderous intent took over you and you glared at Ivy who returned it with a smug smirk of her own. Oh, how you'd rip that smirk off her face.

"Okay Ivy, you wanna play? Let's play." You ground out, slamming your hands against the vine around Robin's neck and it began disintegrating beneath your fingers. He fell to the ground, gasping for breath and you tuned out the sound of the plant crying as it died beside him.

Ivy heard it just as loudly as you had, she screamed and more plants lunged towards the both of you.

"Go help the others! I'm about to snap this twig." You spat at Robin, using your powers to kill the roots as it reached you. It was working slowly, your powers weak to the pain of the plants around you. Even as every cell of your body told you not to, you clenched your fingers into fists and watched as the creeper feel to the marsh, dead.

You engaged in battle with Ivy. Plants were screaming for mercy all around you but you couldn't stop for even a second. Life around you was trembling but you had to keep fighting the villain in front of you because if you hesitated for even a second, many more would die.

Thorns scratched your skin, drawing blood and curled around Ivy, sinking barbs into her skin.

"Face it girlie! You're never going to overpower me!"

"Oh, I'm not trying to overpower you, just distract you long enough for Robin to get rid of the control system." You replied, just as smug as she had been at the start of the fight. Now you got to see her face melt into one of panic just as Robin jumped over her head and to your side with a grin identical to yours.

"Cover your ears!" He sang, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and ducking, covering your body with his own. You were grateful for it; you weren't sure you could even keep your body upright at the moment.

Then you heard the explosion and your heart stopped. Every single fibre of your body burned red hot fire as you heard screams and cries around you. Bile was crawling up your throat and your breathing got thin. They were sobbing a heart-broken wail and your eyes misted at the mere sound.

Without realizing it, you were gripping onto Robin's hand, brows furrowed together. The sound of the explosion cleared, the Injustice League was captured and he pulled you up to stand with the others.

It was silent for a moment. You had won.

And then the consequences of your actions hit you.

Everyone's necks snapped towards you when you let out a heart-wrenching sob. Robin, who was standing right next to you caught you just in time before your body hit the ground. Pain exploded in your chest as you began wailing against him.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! What's wrong?!" He panicked but you didn't respond, crying into his chest as you gripped his cape in an iron fist. Everything hurt and all you could feel was sorrow and guilt.

The other heroes crowded around you but your eyes were screwed shut, tears making your eyes sting. Robin held onto you tightly, pulling your body against his as you continued to cry.

"What's happening?" Artemis murmured, looking around to see the environment change before her eyes. Everyone else followed her lead to see how leaves began rotting, then the trees. The smell was pungent. Thorns and weeds were crawling up the dying trees, pulling them into the swamp.

"(Y/N) please, what's wrong?" Robin whispered in your ear but you couldn't hear him. The sounds of plants screaming and wailing was echoing through your mind. How they begged you to save them. How they begged you to stop.

And then it got hard to breathe, your chest constricted and you were wheezing. Robin had to watch in horror when petals and blood poured from your mouth. You were choking, throwing up and sobbing in his arms, and he was unable to do anything to help you.

"Flash get her to the Batcave." Batman said gruffly, he was shocked and worried for you but didn't say anything, not wanting to scare his son more, "Sending you the coordinates now."

"Alfred prepare the med-bay."

Dick watched with a sinking heart as he handed you into Flash's arms. It took him a few seconds for his mind to stop whirring, he was still kneeling in the swampy marsh when the team huddled around him.

"It's gonna be okay." Wally murmured, wrapping an arm around his shaking body.

"We just have to hope for the best."

***

When the others had gotten back to the Cave, you had just been moved there, after being looked over by Alfred. He joined you in the med-bay, wanting to keep an eye on you. But as of yet, you still had to wake up.

Dick wasn't supposed to be listening to the adult’s conversation, but he couldn't help himself, he had to know if you were going to be okay.

"The situation is undeterminable, sir. But as of now, the flowers that are clogging her respiratory system keep growing. If we don't find a cure for this, it's inevitable that she will suffocate and pass."

His heart stopped. Die? You couldn't die, not when he still had so many things to tell you. For so long, he hadn't told you of his feelings, wanting to keep the relationship between the two of you professional. But now more than anything, he wished he had said something.

There were so many things he didn't get to do with you yet. You had yet to give him a bouquet on your first date. He wanted to lay in bed with you, smelling fresh flowers as you told him what different plants symbolized. He had yet to see moments where you can't control your powers and make plants grow around the cave.

He hadn't even given you a flower yet.

"Rob listen, I did some research on this 'disease'." Wally said, falling into step with him, "It's called the Hanahaki disease."

"That's fiction Wal—"

"But that's the best we've got right now." Came his curt reply and Dick's heart clenched.

"Hanahaki disease is a fictional sickness that only occurs when someone is suffering from unrequited love. The victim will cough up flower petals that symbolize their love. This disease is only cured when the victim's feelings are romantically returned." Wally read off his phone before turning to Dick with a smile.

He raised a brow, "What?"

"You have to kiss (Y/N)!"

"What!?"

"Yep! You have to return her unrequired love!"

"Wally that's ridiculous, kissing someone doesn't cute anything."

"Well, it's the only thing we have. And for (Y/N), we need to try anything." He said, pushing him towards the med-bay. His voice was tight and tense, like he was holding onto his as his last hope and Dick prayed that it would work when the door of your room came into his sight.

You were asleep and if he hadn't known any better, he would've thought you were healthy. Wally closed the door behind him, leaving Dick alone with you. The only sound in was the beeping from your heart monitor and your light wheezing. It was getting harder to breathe.

Dick inched his way closer to you, watching as your eyelashes fluttered gently in your sleep. Leaning over the bed you were lying in; he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before moving his head in line with yours.

"God, please let this work." He whispered and your bottom lip was caught between his. It was feather-light but yet, electricity was buzzing through his veins and fireworks went off in his mind.

For a minute, nothing happened and his heart clenched in his chest before he kissed you a little harder. This had to work because they didn't have any other lead. Dick felt you exhale feebly against him and he almost gave up hope.

But then you took a deep breath, stealing the breath from his lungs and he pulled away quickly to see your eyelids fluttering open. The colour was returning to your cheeks and your eyes were sparkling up at him. You smiled gently and he blinked away tears of relief. Thank goodness.

'His eyes are blue' You thought, staring deeply into them. They were beautiful, alluring. You didn't know why but just looking into his eyes was addicting. Was this what it felt like to be so deep in love? That even his eyes were enough to captivate you?

"I'm so glad you're awake." He muttered, cupping your cheeks firmly and planting another kiss on your lips. You giggled lightly, heart overjoyed to find the boy you had been in love with for so long had returned your feelings and you responded to the kiss eagerly, placing your palms over his hands and leaning into him.

With your regaining strength, you felt a flower materialize in your hands. The stem between your fingers brought you comfort just as the scent of the flower brought you back life.

When Dick pulled away, you delicately slipped it into his hands and he turned his attention to it, blue eyes softening when he recognized this particular flower in his hands.

"It's an Aster." You whispered quietly, lips brushing against his and he chuckled. It was the only flower you thought of when he came to your mind, "Get it?"

Dick turned his eyes away from the blossom and looked at you again. Your heart jumped, noticing just how much love he held in them. Eyes you could swim in, overflowing with love for you. Suddenly you were overwhelmed, feeling adoration and attraction. You needed to be closer to him, even though he was pressed against you.

Your fingers curled into his collar and pulled him closer to you, slanting your lips over his in an open-mouthed kiss. Dick gasped against your lips, startled for no longer than a second before sinking against you and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer.

Your lips moved gently against his, the blushing flower trapped between both your bodies. The smell of fresh flowers clouded Dick's mind with everything that was you. Your hair, your smile, your lips. If you kept kissing him like that, he was certain he'd forget his own name.

And then you pulled away and Dick noted that you were as beautiful as a fresh flower. Your skin was glowing with life and your tired eyes were twinkling. You smiled sleepily at him, eyes closing shut and he lowered you back to the bed. Immediately, you slipped back into slumber, exhausted from the day's events.

He watched for a couple seconds, making sure you were able to breathe without any problems before realizing he should tell the others that you were okay.

He slipped out of the room quietly, stealing a final glance of you sleeping peacefully in the bed and a huge smile grew on his face, "She's awake."

It was only then he noticed just how colourful the room had gotten in the few minutes he was with you.

The walls were covered with vines and roses of different colours, camelias and carnations of different shades. It littered the room, not leaving a single inch of the wall untouched and scattered petals all over the floor like confetti.

Different creepers hung from the ceiling, dusting all the superheroes with sparkling pollen and colourful petals. Not to mention there were stems crawling up the Justice League members, flowers hugging their ankles lovingly.

Batman looked a lot less intimidating with petals in his cape and a rose stuck behind his ear. Robin blushed at the sight of everyone giving him knowing smiles.

"We noticed."

Aster: This flower became a symbol of love when in Greek mythology it was placed on the altars for the gods. So now, when you send a bouquet featuring this vibrant bloom, the message of "Take Care Of Yourself For Me" is implied. It conveys deep emotional love and affection for someone.

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