#imagine a month later you wake up in the dead of night and she is standing above your bed; above you; tears on her cheeks and her moufh

[saintvampe]

oh,

[lylianrae]

A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪

We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.

Long hair

AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).

As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.

Manifesting my way into a private school

Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.

I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.

Curly hair / straight hair

Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.

Social life?

This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).

However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".

Clear skin

This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.

Desired university?

Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".

Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".

I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.

A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.

Photographic memory

So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.

Learning fast

This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.

Hourglass body + 22" waist

This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.

Bigger boobs

This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).

I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye

[laswells-ashtray]

hi the post about soap buying ghost the blanket has been on my mind like all day and i have to hear more. if you have more. please. 🙏🙏🙏

this is the only ask I have right now that isn't about Sergeant Price and MacMillan so I welcome it happily. I'm running out of ideas for those two.

Soap bought the blanket as a pisstake, he'd walked past it in Home Bargains in September, it was out with the Halloween shite, and he'd bought it as a joke. Honestly, he'd expected Ghost to throw it away or give it to someone else.

He'd been in Simon's room more than once for... professional conversations between a sergeant and a lieutenant. And not once had he spotted the blanket, even when he was face down arse up on Ghost's bed. And that happened a shocking amount.

But then he walks in on Simon asleep with the blanket and he decides two things: Ghost is just a bloke and he urgently needs to wife up Simon Riley.

The next time they end up sprawled out in Simon's bed together, he asks about it.

"Ye ever use that blanket I gave you?"

"Yeah, I also rescue kittens and bake for the elderly."

Nevermind, he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with an Englishman. He's better than that.

"Kept it for when the draft gets bad around here in the colder months." Simon admits quietly, like it's some kind of punishable offence that he's using a blanket for its intended purpose. Like enjoying a gift is a foreign experience.

The next time Johnny lands his arse in Simon's bed the blanket is there, coincidentally that's also the first night he sleeps in the Englishman's bed.

They fall asleep and Soap thinks nothing of it until he wakes up at around 3am, Simon is still dead asleep as are most people on base. He's firmly pinned under a quietly snoring lt. Simon is lying on top of him with a hand over his waist, but instead of grabbing onto him his hand is firmly gripping the edge of the blanket in a tight fist. And given how flat the edge of the blanket is, Soap has to assume he sleeps with that same edge in his hand most nights.

It isn't until one day they're all blethering that it makes sense. Gaz is talking about how his sister is expecting a baby and he's already bought the wee lassie her first bear, one like he used to have when he was wee. That becomes a whole other conversation.

"You didn't have a teddy bear when you were a kid? Really?!" Gaz sounds appalled but it doesn't surprise Soap, he can't imagine The Captain Price with a wee bear. He just imagines a toddler's body with Price's head.

"My old man would've had an aneurysm if I'd been caught with something as girly as a stuffed toy."

"I never had one either when I was a kid. Best I had was some ratty old blanket that Mum bought from a second-hand place." His reaction is subtle, the way he freezes and realisation washes over him. Ghost doesn't talk about his childhood a lot and they never ask. But suddenly everything makes sense to Soap.

The big and scary Ghost who spent his childhood comforted by some tattered old blanket. The same one who clutches the blanket Soap gave him so tightly that he worries about the strength if the fabric.

Soap can't judge, he wouldn't anyway but he truly can't because he used to sleep with a ratty old Chewbacca bear that he'd lob off of his sister's head when she would piss him off.

If later on he buys Simon another blanket to give him the choice between the two then that's his business. And if a simple stuffed bear with a silly and all too familiar hat appears in Price's office then that's Gaz's business.

[moody-alcoholic]

These Violent Delights

Chapter 16 - My Dark Disquiet

Summary: Poly 141 x fem!reader, a/b/o alternate universe 8.7k words. Things are getting better slowly.

CW: a/b/o alternative universe, a/b/o dynamics, typical a/b/o universe tropes, hurt with some comfort, depression, mental health, descriptions of weapons, vomit, language, angst, nightmares, talks of death, alcohol, drugging/ sedation, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of past abuse.

Previous - masterlist - next AO3

Enjoy <3

The pain is still there. Every morning that you wake up, you think it will be better. It never is. Dr. Piper is still dead. 

Maybe it was better when you were in the bunker the first time you thought she had died. Professor Hale kept you so busy you didn’t get much time to think. He blamed you for her death. She tried to get you out, but you got caught and then he killed her. At least that’s what he had told you. 

John should have done the swap. Then she would be alive. This is as much your fault as it is his. He said he would save her but really it was your job. 

Your heart aches. It’s a deep throbbing pain that feels like it’s never going away. The pain reminds you you’re alive. Maybe one day you’ll just get used to it.

You slept through the night for the first time last night. You didn’t dream, but you didn’t have nightmares either. Maybe you are healing. You don’t know if you want to heal. Healing means moving on, and you can’t imagine moving on without Dr. Piper.

Johnny comes in with a cup of tea. You sit up in bed making space for him. 

“We’re going to be leaving tomorrow, late tomorrow around 10pm,” he says. Your stomach suddenly turns as you take in the news. You don’t want to leave. You want to keep the only connection with Dr. Piper you know is left. 

“I don’t want to leave,” you say quietly, squeezing your hands round the mug. 

“You’ll like the UK. You’ll love Scotland, and there's so much land. You can spend as much time as you want outside,” he says, nudging you. You sigh. Being outside sounds nice. It’s been too long since you’ve seen greenery. 

When the Professor told you she was dead, you had mourned for months, and you still had to endure his abuse. At least now you have a pack around you. Your pack. Except it doesn’t matter though because it's your pack's fault she's dead. 

You hand your mug back to Johnny. You’re not hungry or thirsty. You don’t want anything, you just want to sleep.

“Do you want any pain killers?” he asks. “You might want some. We’re going to be travelling for a while.��� You shake your head looking up at him. He sighs, squeezing your thigh then getting up. 

“Let me know if you change your mind,” he says as he heads for the door.

“Johnny,” you call. He turns looking back at you.

“Can I go for a shower later?” you ask, looking up at him. He smiles back at you.

“There’s a bath here too. Maybe that would be better?” You nod. A long hot bath does sound good. 

John puts the vial on the table. It’s a sedative. He picked it up from the hospital while you were there. It’s a last resort. He thought maybe you would have been feeling better by now, or at least not so deep in your depressive state. 

He’s worried about how you’re going to react to being in an unusual space with unusual people, strangers. Or maybe being in a confined space with him is worse. Travelling for so long is hard on anyone, let alone you right now. 

“What do you think?” John asks as he looks round the room. 

“I don’t think drugging her is going to get you back in her good graces,” Kyle says. 

“It’s 2 flights, almost 12 hours not including another few hours’ drive,” John says. Johnny sighs looking at the others. 

“What would Dr. Montgomery do if she was here?” Johnny asks. 

“We wouldn’t be having this discussion if she was here,” Simon’s voice comes back harshly.  

“Me and Gaz can keep her calm, she seems to be fine around us,” Johnny says. 

“I’m worried about her distressing. We’re going to be in a stuffy cargo plane for hours surrounded by strangers,” John explains. The closest you’d come was when you ran from them in the forest. John looks round them all. He remembers how distressed you were when you woke up in the hospital. Your eyes, blown wide, screaming for him. For your alpha. It only stopped when they sedated you, and it seems you don’t even remember.

There's a collective sigh in the room. They were all there too. They all witnessed it.

“She hasn’t yet, maybe she won’t,” Kyle shrugs.

“One causes more harm than the other,” John says coldly. “Last time was close, too close and there’s no Dr. Montgomery to save her. It would be down to us.” 

“If we decide, how do we get her to take it? She won't even take her pain meds. She’s definitely not going to take a sedative,” Johnny says. 

“There are other options.” John looks round them all. Simon even looks up to meet his eye line. “She doesn’t have to know.” 

Simon tuts shaking his head then walks past John over to the bedrooms. John sighs as he hears the door slam. 

“I guess you both feel the same,” he sighs.

“Well she can't hate you more than she already does,” Johnny says, crossing his arms.

“She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep. It's almost a day's worth of travel. Maybe it's for the best. Price’s right, if anything happens, we’re stuck in the air,” Kyle says. At least he has Kyle on his side. Johnny lets out a long breath looking over at your room. 

“Let me talk to her. Maybe she'll understand and be more willing to take it?” Johnny suggests. Price nods, picking the vial back up. 

It’s just afternoon when you sulk out of your bedroom to the bathroom. Johnny said he would prepare the bath for you after dinner. You were kind of regretting it now, you would much rather just take a quick shower. When you leave you look into the living room. Kyle and John are on the sofa watching the TV.  You don’t see Simon anywhere. 

You walk into the bathroom and Johnny looks up at you. The tub is still filling up. You walk past him feeling the towels on the shelf. They’re soft and fluffy. You pick one out.

“I can leave if you want?” he asks. You turn to look at him. He’s pouring what looks like salt into the water. The smell of rose hits your nose. You haven’t had much privacy over the last few days, over at least a week. You don’t know how many days you’d been in hospital for. Maybe it’s been longer than you think. 

You don’t really want to be alone. It feels weird, but you can’t describe it. Maybe it’s because they’re betas but you don’t mind Kyle or Johnny being around. You’ve even gotten used to Simon too. He looks less intimidating without his mask.

“Stay,” you say. He nods and you start to pull your clothes off.

You’re used to Johnny seeing you naked by this point. He’s helped you through 2 heats. Still he averts his eyes from you, watching your face as he finishes preparing the bath. It smells good. He keeps pouring products in making the room smell of lavender, rose and other scents you can’t quite place. 

You’re sitting on the toilet watching as he stands back with his hands on his hips. He smiles as you get up walking over to the bath. It’s filled with bubbles. You let the towel drop from your shoulders and dip your hand in feeling the temperature of the water.

“What do you think?” He asks. You nod, stepping into the water. Johnny helps you in as you sit down letting the water rise up above your shoulders. It’s hot but it feels good. You close your eyes for a few seconds letting the water heat through to your bones.

You let out a sigh resting back. You open your eyes looking over at him. He smiles at you.

“That's the smile I love to see,” he says. You didn’t even realise you were smiling. You tip your head to the side letting your hand run over the scar on your neck. The one Dr. Piper left. It’s all you have left from her, the scars she left on your body.

They’ll be healed in a few months, and then you’ll have nothing to remind you, just memories. Right now all the happy memories are tainted. It’s hard to imagine her happy. It's hard to imagine anything other than her suffering. You let out another long sigh watching the bubbles pop on the water. 

“I can wash your hair if you want?” he offers, raising an eyebrow. You nod, smiling at him. You sit up leaning forward in the tub. He kneels down beside you pulling the shower head over and some bottles. 

You let him work. He takes his time wetting your hair through. His movements are gentle as he works his hands up to massage your scalp. It feels good. He opens bottles of shampoo and conditioner. They smell sweet, like you. Strawberries and cream. 

You hug your knees, closing your eyes as Johnny makes sure to get each inch of your hair soapy. It smells good, and it feels good. You hum as his fingers brush through your hair. 

“Johnny, why do people call you Soap?” you ask, opening your eyes and turning to look at him.

“I ate a bar of soap in basic,” he says, chuckling. 

“Really?” you ask, frowning. 

He shakes his head. 

“I’m good at my job, I clear rooms quickly,” he says, bringing up the shower head and washing the soap out of your hair. 

“Like with enemies and stuff?” you ask, turning your head back and resting your chin on your knees. 

“Yeah, or hostages, whatever there is.” 

You close your eyes letting out another sigh as you hear another bottle open. Johnny squirts some in his hands before lathering a thick layer on your hair. You feel sad all of a sudden. 

Dr. Piper used to do this after your heats. You would be locked in a room naked with a hose. She would bring soaps and scrub your body clean, wash your hair then braid it after. You always looked forward to that, a light in the never ending darkness of your heats.

You miss her so much. You squeeze your eyes closed. You don’t want to cry. Your eyes are so raw from tears. You didn’t think it was possible to cry so much. You didn’t think it would be possible to miss someone so much. You loved her.

The water feels good as Johnny washes the conditioner out of your hair, his hands are soft, gentle. He’s taking his time keeping the warm water flowing over you. It’s relaxing. The steam builds up in the room. It's almost lulling you to sleep.

“Johnny, Do you know how to braid hair?” you ask. It’s a long shot. You don’t expect him to know. 

“Yeah,” he replies. You turn to look at him, sniffling. Tears come, but you hope he can’t see them with the water already running down your face. 

“Could you braid my hair?” you ask. 

He nods, smiling. His hand comes up to brush wet hair out your face. He moves round to the back of the tub. He gathers your hair up and starts to braid it.

“How did you learn?” you ask him.

“I have cousins,” he chuckles. You let out a sigh. You don’t have any family anymore. Dr. Piper is dead, the Professor is dead. Your biological parents—who knows where they are or if they’re still alive. You drop your shoulders as Johnny finishes tying the end of the braid off. 

He puts it over your shoulder and you pull it in your hands. He’s done a good job. You run your fingers over it. You feel a chill on the back of your neck. It will be exposed to him. He’ll be able to see John’s mark. Your fingers move around to it. You feel the indents in the skin. 

It will never heal, the skin is too sensitive, or special or something. Dr. Piper explained it better. You always thought you would end up with the Professor's mark. Instead you have John’s mark. You let your hand fall as Johnny stands up walking to the side of the tub. 

“C’mon, you look like you could use a cup of tea.” He holds the towel out. You nod at him, stepping up out of the bath and into the towel he wraps around you. You can’t keep your hands off the braid. It makes you smile. Maybe you’re healing. Johnny and Kyle have been so kind to you. They have been there for you.

“Thank you,” you say, turning to look at Johnny. He kisses your forehead just like John used to, his thumb coming up to rub your cheek. 

“Not a problem.” He smiles. 

It feels like it’s never going to be the same again. Maybe you need a change. Maybe going to the UK is going to be a good thing. You don’t like the thought of being stuck on a plane in close quarters with John. It’s going to be a long trip, to a strange place. 

At least everything Johnny has told you about the house in the highlands seems nice. 

“Did Dr. Montgomery braid your hair for you?” he asks as he opens the door. You nod, tightening the towel around you. When you step out into the main flat goosebumps rise on your body.

John and Kyle are still sat on the sofa as they look over at you. You stare at them for a few seconds. Something inside you burns. You miss John. You miss your alpha. He’s the one who is supposed to be comforting you, telling you everything is going to be okay. 

It’s not going to be okay though and you remember why. The burn gets replaced with anger, sadness and you want nothing to do with him. It’s not healthy for you to be away from your alpha for so long. You need to keep the pack threads tight, and right now you’re barely holding on to John’s. Johnny guides you into your room. 

He closes the door going over to the pile of clothes they bought you. It’s mostly pyjamas, but you don’t mind. You pick some out Johnny comes over helping you dry. You really don’t need the help but you’re too tired to care. 

You change sitting down on the bed as Johnny moves round the room collecting the dirty clothes and towel. 

“After my heat. Professor would lock me in a room. It was this dark concrete room with a one way window and a hose. I always hated that room. It was cold and I was always in pain.” You look up at Johnny who comes over to sit next to you. “Dr. Piper would be there. She would wash me with these soaps that always smelled so good. Then she would braid my hair.” You pull on the braid.  Johnny’s arm wraps round your back, the other resting on your thigh.

“She took good care of you,” he says. You nod, picking at the skin around your fingers. He sighs, placing his hand on yours. You stop picking and look up at him. 

“She loved you, all the way to the end,” he says, his voice low. You feel a lump rising in your chest, and your lip quivers. His hand moves up to your chin, he tips it up so you’re looking directly in his eyes. He has beautiful blue eyes, and a lovely smile. 

“All those good memories you have, the good ones with her. That's what you hold on to. She’ll always be with you,” he says. You sniffle, the tears rolling down your face. 

“John let her die,” you say, the words sounding foreign coming out your mouth. 

“They were both trying to keep you safe. He would never hurt you on purpose.” 

“I miss her,” you sob. 

“I know. It’s okay,” he says, pulling you into his arms. You cry into his chest while he rubs your back, kissing your head. You can smell his calming scent, and you let yourself breathe it in. Maybe this is healing, maybe this is what healing feels like. 

Maybe this is what you need. 

“Johnny, will you stay?” you say pulling your face off his chest. 

“Course love.” Johnny smiles. 

…

Simon sits down next to John on the sofa. He's been avoiding him. Bar following orders, he’s been keeping his distance. He was planning on spending the night in your room again but when he stuck his head in he saw Johnny in your bed. At least you’re not alone. He hates the thought of you being alone.

He’s distracted, going over what happened again and again in his head. John left Piper to die like there was no other way, like they didn’t have a choice. They could have gone back and made another plan to blow the place. They could have dealt with Shadow Company, they could have given Johnny time.

No, John was right during the debrief. Shadow Company were closing in on them, it was the best way to cover their tracks. Piper knew the sacrifice she was making. She would do it every time, she was more like John than she knew. Simon can’t spend his energy worrying about that now. He’s too worried about you. 

There's something about the thought of you being alone that makes his blood run cold. You're safe here. No one other than Laswell knows where they are. John sighs, reaching over and filling the glasses sat on the coffee table with whisky. 

He pushes one towards Simon.

Truce?

Simon reaches over and picks it up.

Yeah.

John smiles and does the same. The news is playing on the TV, anything to drown out the quiet that hangs over the flat. 

“Still mad at me?” he asks before drinking the whole glass. Simon lets out a sigh, taking a sip of the whisky. He doesn’t say anything. He wants to stay mad at John for a long time. He liked Dr. Montgomery, and he doesn’t like seeing you suffer. Who would that help though? No point in causing more rifts in the pack.

He understands the decisions John made, even before the debrief, when they were stuck in the hospital waiting for you to recover and hoping you wouldn’t distress. It was like walking on a knife's edge. John insisted you were kept sedated, at least until your wounds had healed. 

Simon remembers you screaming. It was horrible, like nails down a chalkboard. You were crying out for John like you couldn’t see him, even though he was with you the whole time. Maybe it was the strangers, maybe it was the pain, the miscarriage. It could have been a number of things. It felt like they were losing you. But John always knows when to make the tough decisions. 

For the greater good.

“Hale is dead, the chemical gone. Graves and Shepherd are off our backs.” Simon finishes his drink. “I know why you did it.”

“But I should have done it differently,” John says as a matter of fact. 

Simon sighs. He looks at John. He looks sad. He can see the strain in his face as he pinches the bride of his nose.

“Do you regret it? When you told the omega you should have saved her, did you mean it?” Simon asks as he refills their glasses.

“Yeah, I meant it,” he says. Simon can smell his sincerity in the air. John reaches forward picking up his drink. Simon does the same. 

“How long do you think they’ll stay away?” Simon asks. John lets out a sigh letting the glass rest on his knee. 

“Who knows. We could be arrested when we step off the plane in the UK,” he sighs. 

“That's not going to happen,” Simon scoffs. 

“The last few weeks haven’t exactly gone according to plan,” he sighs. Simon can hear the guilt in his voice. He really does feel bad about this. 

“Not your fault,” Simon sighs. No need for John to spiral further. “You did what you thought was best.”

“Would you have made the same decision?” John asks him. He looks over at John. He liked Dr. Montgomery, he likes you. 

“Yeah I would have,” he admits, looking down. He’s no better than John. “I liked Piper.” 

He finishes his drink, putting the glass down.

“Christ Si. I didn’t know.” 

“Not like that,” Simon tuts, crossing his arms. Something burns in him though. He doesn’t believe the words coming out his mouth. “Would it have changed your decision?” 

“No,” John says, Simon smiles, looking at him. That’s why he’s captain. He made the right choice. Now he’s beating himself up about it. Simon sighs. He shouldn’t push John away; he doesn't deserve it.

For the greater good.

Johnny comes out of your room. Simon looks over before turning back to the TV. He can feel the tension in the air as he moves over to the sofa. He offers him his glass.

Johnny accepts it, Simon can see the gloomy disquiet on his face, not the Johnny Simon is used to seeing.

“I’ll give it to her. You’re her alpha, you're supposed to protect her.” Johnny drinks the whiskey and sits down in one of the chairs putting the glass back down on the coffee table. “If there is any chance of you fixing your relationship with her she needs to trust you again.” 

Simon lets out a sigh looking over at John. He can see the pain in his face. He can smell the guilt in the air. He’s doing the right thing, everything to protect the omega. They’re going to be leaving tomorrow, back to the UK, Scotland, somewhere remote and safe. 

That's where they can fix the relationships. That's where they can repair the damage done to the pack. 

Your scream pierces the silence in the flat. Johnny is on his feet in an instant. John stands up too. The hairs stand up on the back of Simon's neck, his fingers digging into the sofa arm.

Johnny flys through your door with Gaz following behind him, pulling a shirt on. When he sees Johnny’s got you, he closes your door, turning to look at them on the sofa. He smiles. Simon can see the sleep on his face as he heads back to his room.

John sits down letting out a shaky breath rubbing the back of his neck. Simon puts his hand on John's thigh, squeezing it.

“She’ll get better John. She’s got the best people around her. Even Piper knew that.” 

“I let her down, I let the pack down,” he says. 

“You did what you had to do to protect her. Hale is dead, she’s safe,” Simon says. He reaches over, pouring more whisky into the glasses. 

“Soap said we should get something for her,” Gaz says as they get out of the car at the store. Simon hums, locking the car. They’re only supposed to be here for a few things. Things for the flight, things for the next 24 hours.

“Like what?” Simon asks as he pulls the black surgical mask up over his nose. 

“I don’t know, maybe a nice blanket or something she could use on the flight.” 

“She’ll be knocked out,” Simon says, a little harsher than he means. He’s not happy with it. It is going to be a long trip, though. You’re in pain. At least if you’re sleeping you won’t be in pain. 

Simon follows Gaz through the store as he picks up stuff for dinner. Looks like stir fry from what Gaz is putting in the trolley. Simon leaves him in the produce section and heads over to homegoods. He follows the aisle until he comes across pillows and blankets. Simon runs his hands over them. He’s not sure what he’s looking for. The most colourful, fluffiest one. 

He picks out a baby blue one and a fluffy matching pillow. He keeps looking, scanning round for something else. One blanket and one pillow doesn’t feel like enough. Gaz sticks his head round the aisle coming up to Simon. 

“Think she’ll like it?” he asks as Simon places the pillow and blanket in the shopping basket. Simon just hums picking up a thinner cream one and putting it in too. The hairs stand up on the back of his neck. He looks at Gaz who looks past him for a second, eyes focused on something distant before flicking his eyes back to Simon.

Something's wrong. 

“We should get some bottled water,” Gaz says. Simon nods following him out the aisle. “See the man on our 6 with the grey puffer jacket.” 

Ghost turns Gaz down an aisle to his right so he can sneak a look. He doesn’t see anything. Maybe he’s turned down a different aisle.

“Split up, let's see who he follows,” Ghost says as they make it to the end of the aisle. His weapon suddenly feels heavy, tucked in his waistband against his back. Gaz nods, splitting left with the trolly down the main middle aisle. Ghost works his way forward.

He doesn’t need to worry too long though as he turns at the end of the aisle he sees the man out the corner of his eye. Ghost takes a sharp left looping back to the middle aisle. His hairs stand up on the back of his neck again. He is being followed. He spies Gaz and nods at him. He turns left, and Ghost follows him.

He can hear the steps behind him. He's still being followed. There’s a staff-only door at the end of the aisle. Gaz turns to the right out of his view. Ghost speeds up, turning to the left. He spies across to see Gaz waiting there. 

Ghost waits until the stranger is in view before pouncing on him. He grips his wrist pulling his arm up to the top of his back. Before he has time to react Ghost pushes him through the staff only door and up against the wall. Gaz hits the lock on the door coming over to help Ghost wrestling with the man.  

“Fucking hell!” he calls, gritting his teeth as Gaz pats him down. He pulls a pistol off his hip unloading it. 

“You a cop?” Gaz asks. He doesn’t reply, just grunts uncomfortably as Ghost keeps him pressed up against the wall. 

“Concealed carry, pretty illegal. What are you doing following us?” Gaz asks, pocketing the mag. Ghost lets out a sigh. This guy’s not going to talk, or not easily at least. 

“American?” Ghost asks him looking for a reaction on his face. He presses his lips together. 

“Shit, he’s a fucking Shadow,” Gaz says holding a badge up. Ghost sighs. Price had intel from Laswell that Shadows had crossed the border. Price said it wasn’t a problem, Graves would have no idea where the safehouse was, it’s a Canadian special force’s house. At least that was the theory. Guess he was wrong.

“Bit far from home. Did Graves send you up here?” Ghost asks. The man scoffs. Ghost tuts. They don’t need to get anymore info from him. They need to get back to Price and leave. Get out of Canada and up to Scotland where it’s safe. They have clearly outstayed their welcome. 

Gaz goes over to a room labelled maintenance, he comes back out almost as quickly as he disappeared. He holds the black zipties up so Ghost can see. He nods pulling the man off the wall and over to the room. 

It’s a small maintenance cupboard filled with cleaning supplies and various tools. Ghost holds him as Gaz ties his ankles and wrists. 

“You know they’re not after you right?” he says eventually.

“Talking’s not going to get you anywhere,” Ghost says through gritted teeth as he kicks the black of his knees forcing him to yelp in pain and drop to the floor. 

“Didn’t take long for Graves to team up with Shepherd again,” Gaz scoffs under his breath as he ties the guy up to a pipe running up the wall. 

“Match made in heaven,” Ghost says, finally letting go and standing up straight.

“She’s worth more dead than she is alive now that Professor Hale is dead,” he calls as Ghost goes to open the door to leave.

“How’d you figure that?” Gaz asks. Ghost almost wants to turn around and tell him to ignore what he’s saying. He’s most likely just doing this to mess with them, or worse, to stall. They need to leave. 

“That’s what the brief said,” he says.

Shit. There’s a hit out for you, that’s why there’s only one Shadow here.

“What brief?” Gaz asks.

“Gaz, let’s go,” Ghost orders opening the door. Gaz nods, following him, picking up a wet floor sign before closing the door behind him. Ghost leads him out back into the store in silence.

“Clean up in aisle 9?” Gaz chuckles as he puts the sign down in the middle of the aisle.

“Christ you’re worse than Johnny,”  Simon sighs, shaking his head. “C’mon we need to get out of here.” 

You hear commotion in the flat. Something feels wrong, the energy is different. You can hear low murmurs, hushed voices. Hairs stand up on the back of your neck and you sit up in bed. 

Johnny walks through the door. You freeze. He seems tense as he walks over to you. You pull your legs up to your chest as he strides over, sitting down on the bed. He reaches over and turns the light on, but it just makes the expression on his face look darker. 

You can smell his worry in the air. There’s something else too. Fear? Anger? You can’t tell. 

“Hey,” he says, putting something down on the bedside table. It’s a little bottle with clear liquid in it. You don’t know what it is. You look back at him frowning.   

“We’re leaving now,” he says. Panic rises in you. You don’t want to leave. 

“You said we were leaving later tonight.” You’re trying not to get upset, but a lump forms in your throat. It doesn’t go away as tears threaten to spill over. 

“I know but something came up so we’re leaving now,” he says. You blink at him letting the first few drops roll down your cheeks. 

“I don’t want to go,” you let out the cry that’s been stuck in your throat. 

“I know.” 

“It’s like I'm leaving her behind,” you sob, wiping your tears. His hand comes to your chin pulling your head up to look at him. He smiles at you, his head tipped to the side. 

His hand falls down to the centre of your chest and he presses gently. “She’ll always be here with you. The memories you have of her will never go away.” You can smell his sincerity in the air. It’s not helping though. You let out a little smile, sniffling, you look over at the vial on the bedside table.

“What is it?” you ask.

Johnny leans over taking it in his hand. 

“It’s a sedative. We’ve got a long trip. Thought maybe it would be easier. It’s a lot of travelling in confined spaces. I know you’re still in pain,” he says, rolling the vial round in his hand. 

“I don’t want—” You look up at him, the sentence catching in your throat. 

“I know but I think it will help. You won’t have to worry about anything. You just fall asleep and wake up in the UK, skip the whole 11 hour plane ride,” Johnny says. 11 hours on a plane sounds horrible right now. 11 hours on a plane confined in a small space with John sounds even worse. 

Maybe it would be better for all of them if they just leave you behind. 

“Will it hurt?” you ask. You already ache. You’re sick of being in pain. He shakes his head. Maybe a good long nap would be nice. A long nap where you’ll wake up thousands of miles away and still surrounded by people who let you down. 

“Will you be there?” you ask, looking in Johnny’s eyes. He smiles nodding at you pressing his forehead against yours. 

“Every second,” he says. You let out another breath, closing your eyes. 

“What would Dr. Piper do?” you whisper to yourself. Johnny pulls his head back, his hand coming to your face, his thumb rubbing your cheek. You really don’t want to leave, but maybe this way it would be less painful this way. 

Johnny gets up, and the room suddenly feels cold. You can hear more voices now. Simon and Kyle must be back. John’s voice is low, you can hear him giving commands. There’s a knock at the door, and Johnny goes over to take it. You don’t listen to their conversation looking down at your hands and picking at the worn skin.

It’s becoming a bad habit, your fingertips rough with hard and worn skin. You don’t bother listening to who it is. It's probably John. Johnny comes back to the room. It feels like he’s coming to give you the worst news ever. Worse than Dr. Piper being dead. 

Johnny smiles at you, as he comes to sit back down on the bed. You reach over taking Dr. Pipers scarf in your hands. She’d want you to be safe, she would want you to be happy. 

She’d want you to be brave. You have to be brave.

“Where are we going?” you ask, your words slurred as Johnny carries you into the back of a car placing you against Kyle who pulls your seatbelt on. 

“We’re going on holiday,” he says, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, and getting in beside you.

“It’s going to be okay,” Kyle says, pulling your head down onto his shoulder. John closes the door walking over to the front passenger seat. Simon is driving, his focus stuck on the road ahead. John looks back at you as Kyle rubs your thigh. You’re feeling really sleepy, your body heavy as Simon starts to drive. You try to stay awake for as long as you can, but the motion of the car and the smell of beta in the air lulls you to sleep. 

“I think she’s out,” Kyle says a few minutes later. Simon sighs looking over at John. 

“How long will it last?” Johnny asks. 

“A few hours. It should be worn off by the time we land in the UK,” John says. His voice is level as he looks over at Simon. The short drive to the airport goes in silence with John’s eyes constantly looking up in the rearview mirror. You're sleeping up against Kyle. He can smell their scent strongly in the air. Yours too. Strawberries, and mint.

He’s come to associate mint with sadness.  

When they make it to the airport they drive straight through to the waiting military cargo plane. John had to pull an unbelievable amount of strings to get on this transport without anyone asking questions. Not to mention having to bully the commander into leaving early. He was going to owe him big time. 

He managed to get another General in the UK to sign off on their leave for a month at least. The plan was to lay low and see what came out of the investigation in America. Last he had heard from Laswell there wasn’t much they could do since technically the omega doesn’t exist. They were going over the rubble of the ruined mansion. It could take weeks. The DOD have taken a step back not wanting to be affiliated with Professor Hale and the crimes he’s being accused of.  

But now Shadow Company is after you. Laswell managed to find the bounty. As far as they’re aware though, Shepherd knows nothing about it and Hale is dead. Maybe there’s someone new after you, people who want to take over Hale’s work. Dr. Montgomery didn’t round up every person who used to work for him. There are still others out there.

They managed to track them down to Canada, they could easily track them to the UK. Johnny’s house is safe, and they can defend it if they need to. Johnny keeps enough of an arsenal to supply a small army in the basement. They’re going to be fine. Hopefully when they get there he can let his guard down a little, try and relax. 

The car drives up into the back of the plane. There are a few soldiers mulling around, some of whom will be travelling back with them. John doesn’t trust any of them. He barely trusts the commander who chartered the flight in the first place. 

“In the boot there’s some blankets,” John says, turning back to look at you still with your face pressed up against Kyle’s shoulder. Johnny is reaching over into the back pulling them up. Simon and John get out of the car. Simon comes round opening the door for Johnny who scoots out. Kyle moves you into Johnny’s arms and he lifts you up. 

Simon reaches over, taking the blankets and draping them over you. He looks at Johnny as he pulls the blankets right up under your chin. Your head rests against his chest as you’re carried through to the extra jump seats. Johnny lowers you down into the middle seat as Kyle and Simon wrap the blankets around you.  

Johnny gets in first taking the window seat and Kyle sits on the other side of you. You slump against Kyle as Johnny moves over you, re-adjusting the blankets and placing the pillow under your head. John walks through the doors last. He stops in the aisle looking over at you as Johnny attaches your seatbelt. 

It hurts him he had to do this. You look so peaceful leaning against Kyle. He wishes it was different. He has no idea if or when you’ll forgive him but he’ll keep trying. He wants to reach out and hold you, pull you against him and tell you everything is going to be okay.

That's supposed to be his job, to take care of you and the pack. Things are going to be different now. He’s going to step up. Things are going to change.

He can’t stand seeing you like this and knowing that he was the one who hurt you. 

“She’s making progress, Cap, she just needs time. We all do,” Kyle says. John smiles at him. He knows he’s trying to make him feel better. He puts his hand on his shoulder and squeezes it nodding at him. He lets out a sigh going to sit in the adjacent aisle with Simon. 

Simon hands him a tablet. More paperwork, more news from Laswell. Probably nothing good. He can’t help looking back over at you. He can just about see your body pressed up against Kyle as the betas fuss over you. 

The door opens and soldiers funnel in, they take seats, some of them clocking you as they do, muttering under their breath like school boys. It makes John uncomfortable. He closes the tablet down, putting it in the pocket of the seat in front of him. 

“Who's the chick?” John hears one of them chuckle. He ignores it, sighing and attaching his seatbelt. He can’t let them get to him, he closes his eyes. 9 hours couldn’t go any slower.

“Hey!” an unfamiliar American voice calls angrily. 

“Keep yer comments to yourself, yeah?” That’s Soap. 

“MacTavish,” John says, looking over at them. One of the soldiers is looking back over the seats at Soap gripping the chair. 

“He started it, Cap,” Soap protests. 

“I don’t care,” he says, sighing. The other soldier sits back down. You murmur, scooting up closer to Kyle, pulling your legs up onto the chair. John moves his eyes over to you as Kyle moves so you’re more comfortable. 

John sighs, he wants to be with you so badly it hurts, every fibre in his body is screaming for him to be near you. You’re knocked out, you wouldn’t know. He stops himself. He needs to respect your space. He needs to let you come to him when you’re ready. 

From now on he’s going to do a better job at protecting you and taking care of the pack.

“Want me to move her?” Simon asks. John shakes his head. 

“I’m going to take a nap, wake me up if we’re crashing or Soap’s trying to rip someone's head off.” He leans back, pulling his hat over his face. It was going to be a long flight. 

Simon didn’t wake him until they were about to land. You were already starting to stir. You started mumbling and drooling over Kyle as he tried to keep you calm. The scent of both the betas filled up the small space they’re confined in. 

You grumbled as they tried moving you when the plane landed. 

“C’mon lass,” Johnny encouraged you to lean against Kyle so he could rearrange your blankets. John watched them almost fighting with you, your eyes fluttering open now and then. It looks like you’re searching for something. The other soldiers leave first before John stands up heading out to the cargo hold with Simon following behind him.

He needs to clear his head. Simon should have woken him earlier. 

“You good?” Simon asks him as they make it to the car. He nods, getting in the front passenger seat. It’s not long before he sees Kyle coming with you in his arms. You have a sick bag in your hands. It makes him tense as they open the car door. 

“She threw up,” Johnny says as he gets in first. John sighs. This is his fault. Now you’re sick and they still have another flight, plus a few hours drive. You whine as Kyle places you up against Johnny. 

“Alpha?” You whimper, reaching out and gripping onto Johnny. It makes the hairs stand up on the back of John’s neck. You’re crying for him. He grips his seatbelt. 

“Got any water?” Johnny asks. Kyle passes him his canteen. Johnny presses it up to your lips but you moan turning your head away. 

“C’mon love you’ve got to drink something. It will make you feel better,” Johnny says, chasing your lips. You sigh, opening your eyes and taking sips from the canteen. “Good girl, there ya go.” 

“Maybe we should just drive up?” Simon asks as he starts the engine. 

“It’s a 10 hour drive. Even when we land in Edinburgh, it’s another 4 hours on the road,” John sighs. The car backs out of the plane as they make the quick drive to another cargo plane. John looks back at you, your eyes closed again leaning up against Johnny. 

…

You don’t wake again until they’ve landed in Scotland. Even then it's a slur of murmuring and quiet sobs.

Maybe this was a bad idea, John thinks after a stop off at a petrol station where you vomit again. This time it brings tears and shaking. 

“Cold,” you whisper, your lip quivering as Kyle is trying to get you to drink some more water. He gives up in the end, sighing as you sleepily blink up at him. He hums, pulling the fluffy blue blanket up and around you tighter, shushing you.

John gets out of the car looking in the building where Johnny and Simon are paying for the petrol. It’s cold, it's late. He wants nothing more than to just crawl into bed with you in his arms. He breathes in the frigid Scottish air as he sees Johnny and Simon walk over to the car. 

Johnny’s beaming as he walks over with a coffee in his hands. Of course he is; he’s home. He gets in the back as Simon walks over to him. 

“Get some rest, I can drive,” John says. 

“I’m good,” Simon says. John scoffs.

“I know you are but I slept on the plane, let me drive.” 

“It’s not a problem,” Simon says and before John can stop him he’s walking back around the car to the driver's seat. John sighs getting in the car. 

“Half way then we switch,” he says as he puts his seatbelt on. He looks in the back. Your eyes are glossy, your cheeks wet. You meet his eyes. It’s the first time you’ve really looked at him in what feels like forever. A smile tugs on his lips. You’re looking at him with your unfocused gaze. 

You smile at him, a soft smile, the type that makes his heart flutter and goosebumps rise up the back of his neck. It’s bittersweet since you’re still zoned out. Before he knows it your smile is gone and your eyes are drooping closed again. He sighs, turning back to look out down the road, the thick foliage of the Scottish highlands coming into view.

For the greater good. 

You don’t remember much of the drive. Every time you opened your eyes it made your head spin. All you could see was the bright headlights of the car against the trees. It reminded you of trying to run from your pack. 

Kyle’s arm around you is warm, his grip soft as he holds you against him. It feels like you’re driving for hours. Sometimes you try to focus on the conversation between Simon and John but you end up drowning them out. The winding roads sway you to sleep as you dribble over Kyle’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind though.

“Hey, we’re here,” Kyle says as he gently shakes your shoulder. You sit up, stiff as you stretch looking round the car. You’re tired, cold and shivering as Kyle opens the door getting out. You unclip your belt scooting across to the open door. 

“Simon’s going to get the fire started,” he says as he leads you inside. The house is old, but big you walk in looking down the hall that has indoor windows looking through to the dining room. The lights are low. The whole place has a cosy feel to it. You just wish it wasn’t so cold.

You let Kyle lead you through to the living room. There’s a plush sofa, a TV, record player and a book shelf. You see Simon bent down in front of the fire. You don’t see John or Johnny anywhere. The place smells like damp wood, but you can smell the embers of the fire starting as you look round the room. 

“This wood’s wet. It’s not gonna take,” Simon says, standing back up. You look over at smoke coming out into the room.

“It's fine, it's late anyway. I think we could all use a good night's rest,” Kyle says. You nod as he heads out the room back into the hallway. You turn back to look at Simon taking gloves off and throwing them into the pile of logs. You can see John and Johnny in the kitchen. 

“C’mon you can have the first pick of the rooms,” Kyle says, wrapping his arm around you as he leads you upstairs. Upstairs feels warmer but not by much. You stand in the hall looking around. All the doors are cracked open and you walk up to one. There’s two beds inside. You move to the room next to it, the same. 

“What about here?” Kyle asks, smiling pushing a door open. You go over to see what you assume is the master bedroom. It’s beautiful with a four poster bed, a fireplace and a chaise longue. It’s dark but you can see the windows look out towards the woods. You smile stepping inside. It’s lovely. You feel guilt rise in you.

“It’s John’s room,” you say, turning to leave. Kyle shrugs from the doorway.

“It’s no one’s room,” he replies. 

John gets the biggest room because he’s the Captain. Or maybe Johnny will take it, it’s his house after all. You walk over to another door, this room is smaller than the rest only big enough for a single bed and a rocking chair. You go in and look out the window. 

It looks out over the front of the house and you can see Simon and Johnny bringing bags out of the car. The latches on the window look old, brass and heavy as you click it open. Cold air immediately blows into the room. You can open the windows as wide as you want, not like the windows on the base. 

You take in a deep breath and go to sit down on the bed. There's a small bedside table with a lamp but the only light coming in the room right now is from the outdoor lights. 

“Like it?” Kyle asks from the doorway. You look up at him nodding. He moves out the way as you hear commotion in the hall. Johnny walks in the room hitting the main light as he comes in. 

“Hey lass, how are you feeling?” he asks, putting a bag down. 

“Tired,” you say. You’re not really in the mood for a whole conversation. He hums, coming over to run his hand over your head, and you look up at him. 

“It’s been a long day. You should sleep, you'll feel better tomorrow,” he says, his thumb brushing your cheek. You feel bad. You’ve been sleeping the whole way, you don’t understand why you’re so tired. Johnny turns around closing the window. “You can put it on a latch if you want some fresh air,” he says, moving out of the way so you can see. 

“Thank you,” you nod at him. He smiles, leaving the room.

“If you need anything you know where to find us,” Kyle says, pulling the door closed, but not fully. They always leave a gap. You look over at the window, and you can see your reflection. Your braid is almost completely pulled out. You run your hands over it pulling on the hair tie at the bottom letting it fall apart. 

You run your fingers through it pulling it apart before walking over to your bag unzipping it. It’s your clothes, mostly PJ’s. Dr. Piper's scarf is sitting on the top. You take it out, bringing it up to your nose. The scent is fading. It will eventually be gone. Scents don’t last forever. 

You stand up taking the deepest breath you can. You can smell beta, soap, clean sheets straight out of the dryer. It’s a comforting smell, you miss it. You get up rubbing the back of your neck. You turn the light off pulling your clothes off so you’re in your underwear and climb into the bed. 

It’s cold and you find yourself pulling your legs up to your chest. You look out the open window. You hear a door close and the outdoor lights are turned off. You let your eyes adjust to the dark. You look up. You can see the moon. It’s big and full, lighting up the room. You can’t remember the last time you saw the moon, never mind this full. 

You smile bringing her scarf up to your nose. Dr. Piper would love to see this. A star filled sky. Maybe if there is a heaven, she’s there looking down at you. You don’t think you believe in heaven, it makes you think of the house on the hill, with the pies and the lake. The smell of caramelised apples and cinnamon in the air. The summer breeze and the sky burnt orange and red, the whole place surrounded by trees. That's your heaven. That’s where Dr. Piper is waiting for you. 

It’s still your happy place. You can still go there when you need to, and Dr. Piper is there. She’ll always be there.

Next

Dividers by Plum98 & gild-ui Beta reader and editor - rememberwren

[pinkykats-place]

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Rumors aren’t Always True

Ivar x Slave!Reader

Summary: When rumors start to spread that Ivar can’t satisfy a woman, you decide to put his mind and ease and show him that it’s not true

Right Beside You

Ivar x thrall!Reader

Series: Imagine being ivar’s slave

Summary: Your first journey to England. Ivar took you with him to avange the dead of his father with the great heathen army. But you are afraid, the feelings he putted there maked you that ... afraid to lose him. What if he never came back? What if you never would feel his touch again?

SOLD! (TO IVAR)

IMAGINE BEING SOLD TO IVAR BY YOUR DESPERATE MOTHER.

I Can Be Your Biggest Fan

Ivar the Boneless x slave!Reader

Summary: You are a slave and have been most of your life but because of this you got the chance to meet the most handsome man you’d ever seen...cripple or not.

Proving Worth

Ivar x fem!Reader

A Gift From Thor

Ivar the Boneless x healer!Reader

Description: You are a Viking healer, who travels the world to learn all healing techniques. After an unfortunate tumble from a ship you get lost at sea. As Valhalla becomes more certain you pray to Thor for love and boy does he deliver.

The Wanderer - Part 1

Ivar x fem!shield-maiden!Reader

Valkyrie - Part 2

Ivar x fem!Reader

Summary: You meet Ivar again after a battle.

Fate - Part 3

Ivar x wife!Reader

Summary: wedding night

Healing Hands

2 Parts

Summary: your mom was ivar’s healer but after she dies it’s up to you to help ivar

A Proposal

4 Part Series

Summary: Ivar and reader share a moment, but are separated by miscommunication

Series: Pain

Ivar x Reader

Summary: You’re the only one Ivar will allow to see him when he’s in pain thanks to his legs. But when you tell him that he’s your best friend, you stir up a new kind of pain in his heart.

The Girl Ivar Loves

[Incomplete Series]

Summary: When you lose your parents and other arrangements fall through, you find yourself living with the Ragnarssons in their cabin. Much to the chagrin of Ivar who complains about you at every opportunity he gets.

The Aftermath of Intimacy

Ivar The Boneless x gn!reader

Summary: The shared moments after your intimate hours always were your favorite. His aftercare and love embraced you in Ivar's vulnerability. You loved it so much.

Take Care of Him

modern!ivar x reader

summary: heahmund takes a vacation from his physical therapy job. except he doesn’t exactly tell his most impatient patient.

@ablueeyesangel ’s Masterlist

@akamaiden ’s Ivar Masterlist

@ijustwant2write ’s Masterlist

[thatfragilecapricorn30]

dad

msr, post-deadalive canon divergence | 1.6k words | ao3  tagging @today-in-fic

When Mulder woke from the dead, the first thing he saw was Scully’s face, and the relief he felt seeing her was immense. Mulder was not only happy that she was alive and well but that she was by his side during this confusing and traumatic time. Since the beginning of their partnership, Scully had always been a calming and grounding presence, and Mulder needed that now more than ever, as he was having trouble coming to terms with what had happened to him. He didn’t have much memory beyond his abduction, but the images that did flash through his brain were not pleasant. He could only imagine what kind of counseling he was going to need to process everything, but for now, having Scully nearby was enough to get him through the short-term.

The second thing he saw was Scully’s belly. Initially, he didn’t know if he was dreaming or woozy from the drugs, but the more alert Mulder became, the more he realized that she was actually pregnant. Based on her size, at least seven to eight months had passed. If not more, because Mulder had no idea when Scully conceived or even how. Was it natural and if so, who was the father? Was it him? Or did she meet someone else while he was gone? Did she try IVF again, this time with an anonymous sperm donor? The questions made his brain – and his heart – hurt.

Luckily, they had always been good at reading each other's body language, and Scully immediately addressed the issue when she saw his eyes rove uneasily over her belly.

“It’s yours,” she said, smiling through tears that suddenly welled in her eyes. “I was pregnant when we were in Oregon. That’s why I felt sick.”

“Oh,” was all he could say. So he was the father, but what did that mean? Was he supposed to be a parent after all this? Would Scully even want him involved? He wasn’t sure if he would have been a good father before the abduction but now, he was even more fucked up. His mind whirred with more unanswered questions, and he started to feel anxious.

Scully must have noticed his overwhelm, because she leaned in close to say, “I know it’s a lot. But you don’t have to worry about anything else aside from getting better, okay?”

He nodded, his heart rate slowing when Scully carded her fingers through his hair. They would figure it all out later.

Over the next few days, Mulder slowly felt his strength return. Scully stayed by his side almost the entire time, observing the doctors and nurses, reviewing his charts, and talking about what had happened during the eight months he was missing and then dead. She stuck to work topics: her new partner at the FBI and the cases they investigated. He couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable she was sitting in a plastic chair all day, but she never gave a hint of discomfort. Mulder did force her to leave at night so she could sleep in a real bed and so that he could have some time to think, which was mostly about Scully carrying his baby and what that would mean for his life. The more he considered it, the more he realized that he wanted to be a dad and be a part of the baby's life. It wasn't like he had never contemplated this issue before. When he had agreed to donate sperm for Scully's IVF, he was ready to take on the responsibility of a child. Even though that seemed like lifetimes ago, Mulder would never abandon Scully and their baby. He was even looking forward to having a purpose in life that wasn't searching for his sister or extraterrestrial life. But he also wanted to make sure Scully was on the same page.

On the third day of recovery, he finally got the nerve to ask her.

“Scully? Can we talk about the baby?”

Scully looked up from the medical journal she was reading and then put it aside so she could move her chair closer to Mulder’s bed.

She immediately starting talking, “Mulder, before you say anything, I just want you to know that I’m fully aware an eight-month pregnancy is a lot to wake up to, especially in your condition. So, I understand if you need time to think or consider. With everything that’s going on, there’s no pressure from me at all. I’m just so happy you’re here.”

She seemed like she was going to keep going, so Mulder interrupted, “I want to.”

Scully looked surprised. “You want to?”

“I want to be involved. If you'll have me,” he added.

Scully’s pursed lips turned into a real smile. If he could still manage to make her happy, then everything really was going to be alright.

“Okay, great,” she whispered, looking like she was going to cry again.

“Do you have a picture or a, a –“ he couldn’t remember the word but Scully filled it in for him.

“An ultrasound? Yes, I do.” She pulled a folded photo from her purse and handed it to him.

It was a black and white scan and while he secretly thought it looked like a blob, that was his child. He stared at it for a while, tracing the baby with one finger. The ultrasound was well-worn, like it had been in Scully’s purse for a while.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” he asked.

“You can’t tell?” Scully asked mischievously.

“Scully, you’re the doctor. No offense but this really does look like a alien.”

“Well, then you’re just going to have to wait to find out,” she said with a laugh, plucking the ultrasound out of his hands to prove the point.

“Wait, can I keep that?” Mulder asked, sounding shy to himself.

Scully stopped folding the photo and smoothed it back out. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry." She handed it back to him. "You’ll have to come to the next appointment and hear the heartbeat.”

Mulder could think of nothing better.

After Mulder was released from the hospital, he became Scully’s worst nightmare. Well, she never said that or gave any indication that he was annoying her, but he must have been. Mulder spent most of his time at her apartment, reading every baby book he could get his hands on (luckily Scully had quite a few) and helping her with chores. In his defense, Scully was pregnant and shouldn’t be doing laundry or dishes or grocery shopping. She didn’t seem to mind having a shadow, which was strange because the old Scully would have kicked him out way more often so she could have some alone time. But pregnancy made Scully shockingly serene: she answered all of his questions, tolerated his fussing, and reminded him frequently how happy she was that he was back.

Mulder didn’t know what to make of it.

The only time he was really apart from her was when he went to counseling twice a week. He had to fudge some of the details of his disappearance and death to the counselor, but he felt like the therapy was helping.

Mulder went to one last ultrasound appointment and heard the baby’s heartbeat, which he thought was spectacular.

When Scully’s water broke, everything became real and the panic set in. He rushed around trying to make sure they had everything, wondering if they needed to call an ambulance. Scully stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Mulder, it’s fine. We have plenty of time to get to the hospital.”

She went to the closet to grab the hospital bag that she had clearly packed awhile ago. “You’re supposed to be the one calming me down,” she said, with a knowing look.

“Sorry,” Mulder apologized sheepishly. “You know that’s not my strong suit.”

Mulder drove them both to the hospital. He didn’t break any speeding laws or run any red lights, though it was tempting. Scully had a few contractions in the car, which was distressing, moreso to Mulder, and he wanted to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible.

He was there the whole time Scully labored and let her squeeze his hand during all of the contractions and pushing. He had forgotten how strong she was and wouldn't be surprised if he came out of his experience with sprained bones. Mulder had never witnessed a birth before and found the whole process incredible. His son or daughter was about to make their entrance into the world and he would be right there for it.

The doctor delivered the baby – a boy, which Mulder could now recognize – and immediately handed him to Scully to hold. Their son screamed and cried and Mulder was impressed how something so tiny could make so much noise. After a few minutes, a nurse whisked the baby away to be cleaned up and weighed.

“What do you think?” Scully asked, smiling up at him. She looked tired but so beautiful.

“It was amazing. You were amazing,” Mulder exclaimed.

The nurse brought the baby back, now swaddled in a blanket and wearing a little newborn cap. She handed him to Scully.

“Do you want to hold him, Dad?” Scully held the baby out to him, so trusting that he could handle this new role. Mulder didn’t know when the last time he held a baby was. Maybe it was when Samantha was born. But Scully – his little skeptic – believed in him. Believed he could be a good dad. Believed that they could be a family. He gently took their son into his arms and cradled him against his chest. The love he felt for this new person was overwhelming. The love he felt for Scully was overwhelming. He was so lucky to get another chance at life, and at a family. Before he knew it, there were tears running down his cheek.

“Oh, Mulder,” Scully sighed. She reached for him, so Mulder sat next to her on the bed and they admired the miracle that was their son.

[kiris-wife]

busted | ao'nung + sully brothers

summary: ao'nung and sully!reader have been in a secret relationship for a while, sneaking out late at night to see each other. when her siblings start to suspect something is going on between them, they put their sister in a little embarrassing situation. see the request here!

genre(s): humor ig, a lil bit of fluff

warnings: just siblings being nosy as always :p protective big bro teyam, lo'ak is really goofy in this, also reader is his twin bc why not

when you first met ao'nung, you hated him. he was constantly bothering you and your siblings and getting you into trouble. but as the months passed, the metkayina was slowly becoming more and more tolerable; wich eventually led to you becoming friends, and later on, something more.

exchanging meaningful looks that only you and him seemed to notice, smiles between conversations and slight touches in front of your friends soon became something common between the two teenagers. but of course people were gonna find out sooner or later.

the first one to notice was you older brother, neteyam. at first the boy thought he was just imagining things — there was no way his baby sister was getting involved with him, out of all people. even if ao'nung has changed his manners towards your family, the omaticaya couldn't seem to let the grudge go.

then, lo'ak used to wake up in the middle of the night to you silently sneaking away to eywa-knows-where and staying until dawn, returning before your parents woke up. he didn't care at first, but when your escapades became more and more frequent, he knew something was up.

"shes gotta be with him, bro. there's no way this is a coincidence! we have to do something." your twin has been annoying neteyam all morning with this since he mentioned that you and ao'nung seemed closer than normal, remembering lo'ak of your outings in the dead of night. soon they realized: their sister was in a relationship.

"what do you me want to do? this is none of our business, lo'ak. she'll tell us when she's ready."

"come on. stop pretending you're not dying to know if they're really dating!" he smiled mid sentence. the thought of you getting a partner before him and neteyam was really funny to lo'ak. "i can see it in your eyes! you're jealous!"

"fine. we'll follow her next time to see if she's really meeting him. and for the record, i'm not jealous. just worried."

and then, they waited. lo'ak kept himself awake until late at night, pretending to be asleep, to see if you were going to leave — he was really invested in this. but for a few days, you stayed in the family's house. it was almost like you were suspecting them. but of course your brothers weren't going to give up so easily: lo’ak was always so nosy when it came to your personal life, and even though neteyam wouldn't admit, he really wanted to know if you really were dating, maybe even more than your twin.

but one night, it happened. trying to be as quiet as possible, you get up and direct yourself to the entrance, sneaking out without anyone noticing — at least that's what you thought. but as soon as you closed the marui, lo'ak quickly sat down and woke up the older boy.

"bro. wake up. wake up! she's leaving." he said violently shaking neteyam, not even worrying with the volume of his voice.

"what the- be quiet! you will end up getting us all into trouble."

"sorry. let's follow her before she goes too far, let's go!"

meanwhile, you made your way to the rocks near the sea, your boyfriend already waiting for you; he always got out of home first so he didn't have to make you wait. arriving earlier than you expected, you couldn't shake this terrible feeling that you were being watched, making you walk faster than you normally do. the taller one noticed the change in your movements from far away and the worried expression on your face, pulling you closer to him once you got where he was.

ao'nung gave a gentle kiss on your lips before asking: "is everything ok, my love? you look bothered.”

you felt you heart melt with the nickname — he always knew how to make you flustered without even trying. that's what you loved the most about your boyfriend: he was always so caring and sweet with you, completely destroying the view you had from him months ago. hiding your face in the crook of his neck, you shake you head in response. there was no need to worry him with this, after all, you must've been imagining things. "are you sure? you seem pretty tense."

"i just have this odd feeling that i'm being watched. but it's nothing, really. my mind must be playing tricks on me."

he looked around for a moment before turning his attention back to you. "it must be. let's sit down?"

...

“they just kissed! gross!” lo’ak said in a whisper. “imagine when dad finds out! he's gonna throw a tantrum. his precious little girl is finally dating!”

“shut up, skxawng. they're going to hear us. we need to get closer, i can barely see or hear anything.”

“oh? what did you say a few days ago again? ‘she's going to tell us when she's ready! what do you want me to do?’ you're such a bad liar, brother.”

giving lo’ak a playful smack on the shoulder, neteyam got a few steps closer to you, being careful to not be seen.

laying your head on his lap while he gently caressed your hair, you were telling ao’nung everything about the forest and how you used to love ikran racing, going out with your sisters to collect different plants and fruits, climbing trees and and how beautiful the hallelujah montains were. but there was something your brothers couldn't see — the way he looked at you. like you were the most beautiful na’vi in pandora; ao’nung was absolutely smitten with you, from the way you talked to the way you smiled. he surely was in love, his softer side reserved only for you.

he leaned in closer to your face to give you a peck on the lips. but a peck turned into two, and two turned into three. soon, you were passionately kissing under the moonlight, butterflies taking over your stomach.

“ew. should we confront them? this is getting awkward. they're eating each other's faces.”

abruptly getting up, your older brother made his way to you without thinking twice. lo’ak far behind him, trying to contain the laughter that was begging to be let out. there was no way in hell he would let you forget this moment.

“hey! what do you think you're doing with my sister, fish lips?”

oh eywa.

“neteyam? lo’ak- what are you doing here?” you couldn't believe your eyes; did your brothers seriously follow you all this way here just to spy on you? “i can't believe this. i'm going to murder you! for how long have you been here?”

“long enough to know there's something between you and fish lips! and you didn't even tell us, y/n… i thought we told each other everything. i'm hurt!” now lo’ak was just making fun of you. feeling your cheeks heat up you gave ao’nung a quick “im sorry” glance, wich he responded with an awkward smile.

“hey, pretty boy. i was talking to you. what are your intentions with her?”

“neteyam. no. you're not doing this right now! leave!”

everything was a chaos. you couldn't contain your frustration anymore, your brother asking a million questions to ao’nung while you tried to make him stop, lo’aks laugher echoing in the back of your mind. “stop! stop, all of you!”

the raise of your voice was unexpected, the boys getting quiet all at once. “you two. come with me. we're going home before we wake up the whole village. or even worse: our parents notice our absence. wait for me right there.” you said pointing to the place they were before.

“you don't-"

“neteyam. now. you don't want us to get in trouble, do you?” he grumbled something you didn't quite catch and left, pulling a very entertained lo’ak by the arm.

you lowered your voice just in case they could hear you. “baby… i'm sorry about them. eywa, i can't decide if i want to kill myself or those two!”

“it's fine. your family was always a little crazy. i guess you took after them.”

“what? i'm the most normal one there!” you laughed. at least he wasn't mad about this. giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, you left. “i’ll see you when the sun rises i guess.”

“see you later.”

now your attention was aimed towards the two idiots that you called your brothers. getting closer to them with each step you took, your anger only got bigger. “what is wrong with you guys? spying on me, embarrassing me in front of my boyfriend, sneaking out! if dad finds out we're dead! all of us!”

“so you admit that he is your boyfriend!” you gave lo’ak a flick on the head. “skxawng. i could kill you both right now!”

the walk back home was silent for the most part — you were fuming with anger. only when you were getting closer to home, neteyam broke the ice:

“i don't like him.”

“good thing i'm the one dating him, not you.”

silence again.

“guys.” you turned your head to lo’ak. “i'm y/n’s twin. do you think he's attracted to me too? since we have the same face and all.” you wanted to smack away the mischievous smile on his face.

“that's gross. please don't ever say this again!” now you couldn't help but laugh. how could he be such an idiot?

of course you couldn't be mad at them forever — they might be nosy and annoying, but you were still family. and the sullys always stick together.

authors note: ok so this is not ao'nung centered at all oops! i don't know if i managed to do exactly what the anon asked but i swear i tried my best with this one... also him and lo'ak are a pain in the ass to write.

likes + reblogs are appreciated ♡

[nekrosdolly]

albert wesker hcs pt.3

guys... i'm sorry i'm so obsessed with re1 wesker... but these are for re1 wesker...

cw; cigarettes, lighters, william birkin mentions, alcohol mentions, s.t.a.r.s AND umbrella mentions WHOAAAA, debunking rebesker, rebecca chambers mention, kissing!, a peak into wesker's backstory, if you don't know his backstory please read his wiki page im begging you.

a/n; reader's job is unspecified so how y'all meet is really up to you!

✰ albert smokes. that's no surprise, really. he likes menthols- his preference is marlboro blue 100's, but he keeps a pack of marlboro black reds around too. doesn't like bic lighters, only uses the zippo lighter he was given (thanks Umbrella.)

✰ he meal preps for the week, cleans as he cooks so there's less of a mess after. he tries to clean every few days as his apartment can get disorganized just as quickly as it's cleaned.

✰ speaking of his apartment…

✰ mahogany cabinets, dark granite countertops, with typical white paint on the walls. nothing too expensive, he still has to keep up the appearance of being a normal citizen and not an Umbrella employee. The floors are cheap linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom wood everywhere else. he has minimal furniture- a couch, a bookshelf, a television on a boring black coffee table. his bed is a full, the sheets black and made of inexpensive material.

✰ he's hardly home except to grab food and sleep, so what more does he need than what he already has? zero pictures hanging up, nothing to make it feel like a real home except for the occasional hint of life.

✰ drinks semi-regularly. he likes wines and whiskeys, not so much frothy or carbonated drinks i.e. beers or seltzers. if he's offered a cocktail, he'll take it.

✰ he does try to maintain a relativley okay relationship with the s.t.a.r.s alpha team so he doesn't come off as suspicious, even if he seriously dislikes group outings. once a month, they go out for drinks. he doesn't stay long, just enough to get by without revealing too much about himself.

✰ contrary to popular belief, he doesn't have a thing for rebecca. they had a similar educational experience. he graduated highschool and went to college at an early age, just like she did. they share similarities and he finds that he can talk to her with ease, but he doesn't find himself attracted to her. not to mention that she's eighteen- he has morals.

✰ when you come into his life, he's not expecting it in the slightest. hardly anything catches him off guard, but you, you do something to him. you're not a match on the intellectual level and that's fine, he likes being the one to educate you on certain topics. he likes talking to you because you make him feel good without trying. the ease at which you offer your attention to him is something he should expect, but it's different with you. he's not giving you orders or lecturing you- you're just talking, and you like it, no less.

✰ it's a slow burn despite his clear affection for you, which he wasn't hoping to gain initially. it's not his fault that you're so pretty- just his type, no less- and so nice to him. you always smell good and you're put-together in your appearance. he loves that he can simply say whatever around you and how you nod along, giving him your full attention. he drinks it, gets drunk on it, and saves it for later.

✰ maybe he imagines you in the dead of night to help him sleep. wonders what pajamas you wear, if any, to sleep and how you'd feel pressed firmly against him while snuggling. he dreams of coming home to you after a long day, resting his head in your lap as you talk to him about what happened at work. your fingers thread through his hair, bringing a sense of calm to him.

✰ sometimes he wakes up and thinks you're there. he'll pat the mattress blindly until he realizes that no, he's not living the dream because if he were, you'd be lying next to him.

✰ at umbrella, he's just as determined as he is with his s.t.a.r.s team. he's a brilliant virologist- there's a reason he was employed when he was 17. he's the head researcher for the t-virus project and for the tyrant project, the latter being his own work. he helped william with developing the g-virus as well. he tells william about you. after all, william is the closest friend he has, so why would they not confide in each other?

✰ it's william who tells albert to go for it, to tell you how he feels.

✰ albert listens to classical for the most part. given he grew up when nu-wave was picking up, he listens to some of that, too. think depeche mode. not a big fan of the cure. enjoys the smiths (just like me fr.) he likes piano-centric music and some "dad" rock (as you call it.)

✰ he likes kissing you anywhere and everywhere. in his office, in the car (parked! no unsafe driving for him), taking a walk, while he's smoking, drinking, what have you.

✰ he doesn't let his feelings for you get in the way of work, however tempting it may be. sure, he thinks about you on his lunches and texts you when he can, but out of sight, out of mind. he's committed to his career(s) and though you're important to him, his work is more important. he's married to his work, but so is everyone who works at umbrella. he was manufactured for this, which is why he's there so much. why you two grow apart faster than he'd expected, and even while your relationship crumbles, he's working as much as ever.

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Dreaming of You (Larissa Weems x f!Reader)

Synopsis: You've been dealing with prophetic dreams your whole life, but when a certain face keeps popping up, you find her in an unexpected place

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of car accidents, mentions of being disowned, swearing, lil bit of smutty stuff

You’d been plagued by odd dreams for as long as you could remember. It had taken a long time to realise exactly how odd they were. You’d see things happening in your dreams weeks or months in advance of your waking life, leading you live in an almost constant state of deja vu. Telling your parents, they’d been brushed off, considered nothing more than an overactive imagination.

That was, until you’d dreamt about your father’s death. You saw it playing out in front of you, the car speeding towards him, out of control, weaving over the road, the impact of the hood against his body, bouncing over the top, left for dead on the road. You’d woken up screaming, images of his blood pooling on asphalt stuck in your brain.

Two months later he was dead.

You hadn’t ever expected your mother to lay the blame of his death at your feet. She’d accused you of causing it, of being a witch, of bringing this all down on her. She’d sent you away to live with a distant aunt.

You’d never spoken about your dreams to her.

Instead, you’d immersed yourself on the internet, doing as much research as possible. You’d gone down rabbit holes, chasing ghosts of people who might be like you. So much of it was bullshit. Until you stumbled across a mention of Nevermore on an old forum many years later.

That was the night the dreams started.

Fingers tangled in silver hair between your legs, tongue lapping at your entrance, pleasure building. You awoke with a gasp on your lips and a throbbing between your legs.

Every night since then you dreamt of the same woman, sometimes gloriously naked, sometimes between your thighs, sometimes smiling at you or laughing. Every single time you woke with an ache in your heart and a need you couldn’t express in words. More often than not you woke unsatisfied, your hand not nearly as welcome as the woman in your dreams.

No name, no clue of who she was or where you might find her, the dreams plagued you in your waking life. Glimpses of your future, still out of reach, but so desperately wanted.

Continuing your search you found Nevermore’s website. A school. You hadn’t been expecting that, but you watched and waited, for what, you didn’t know. This, you knew, was where you were meant to be. It felt right.

It was a gloomy morning when the notice went live. A teaching position had opened up, calling for someone with an understanding of the divine. You sent in your application, knowing it was a long shot, and waited.

All of which led to you standing in front of the door to Principal Weems’ office on your first day as the new teacher. You’d flown through the interview, accepted the position, and moved to Vermont.

You raised your fist, knocking on the wooden door. A woman’s voice called out, asking you to enter. With a deep breath you pushed the door open, stepping over the threshold into the warm office, and froze.

Seated behind the desk, looking up expectantly at you, was the woman from your dreams. Your breath caught. Even if she wasn’t your future, you’d want her to be. Such beauty had no business existing in the world. Your heart was already yearning for her.

“Welcome, “she said standing from the desk. You could have collapsed there.

You walked over as if in a daze. She held her hand out to you and you took it, the first brush of skin sending an electric current through you. You knew that touch, knew what those fingers would be capable of. You were ready to drop to your knees in front of her.

She said your name, the sound of it enough to steal your breath. You’d heard that voice say it, moan it, scream it as you brought her pleasure. You’d heard her whisper it into your skin, heard her caress it with untamed love, heard her say it with a laugh. You wanted her to keep saying it until you came undone in front of her.

“I’ve heard you have premonitions of the future,” she said, retaking her seat, gesturing for you to take one of the chairs in front of the desk. You lowered yourself on wobbly knees, doing your best not to show how much you were trembling.

“Yes, dreams mostly, although I’ve had success with tarot and crystal balls,” you replied.

“I suppose you saw yourself teaching here,” she said with a smile.

“Only metaphorically,” you said, “no premonitions, just a wish.”

“Indeed?” Her brow raised.

“I haven’t met others like me before,” you said, “or at least not that I know of.”

“Yes, some abilities are not as obvious as others,” she said, “I’m glad to have you on our staff.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve been informed you’ve already been shown to your quarters,” she said, “I must apologise. I usually try to do the introduction. However, a student left a rather unfortunate surprise in the kitchen we were unaware of until now.”

“Kids will be kids,” you said with a shrug. The thought of her showing you the room you’d be sleeping in was too much. Her and a bed being the same room would lead your mind down a dangerous path of memories.

“Yes, quite,” she said, “well, if you have any issues, please do not hesitate to call on me. I look forward to seeing your work.”

She stood, offering her hand again. You took it, hoping the shiver could be played off as nerves. Her eyes swept over you and you wondered what she saw.

You scurried out before she could look deeper, not wanting her to see what your dreams had shown you. You hadn’t been expecting that when you’d sought out Nevermore. You hadn’t known to prepare for it.

If you’d hoped for a reprieve from your dreams now you’d met the woman, you were sorely mistaken. Every kiss, every touch was burned into your brain, still following you in your waking hours. You could barely look at her without heat filling your cheeks and wetness collecting between your thighs.

On the last night before the students were scheduled to arrive you found yourself watching the sunset out over the water, legs swinging from the dock. Your head was tilted back as you let the cool breeze wash over your skin. A particularly wonderful dream was replaying in your head, one that didn’t leave a throbbing need between your thighs for once.

“You look rather peaceful.”

You jumped, having not heard anyone approach, so caught up in your thoughts. You blinked, turning to look up at the familiar towering figure. You hadn’t been avoiding her, per se. You were just never sure what to say around her.

“I didn’t expect it to be so beautiful here,” you replied, turning back to the sunset.

“You truly didn’t see Nevermore in a premonition?” You could feel her approaching you.

“No I…” She was making it hard to think, “I found the website online. It felt right, me being here.”

“I hope you continue to feel that way.”

You weren’t expecting her to drop down beside you, legs dangling off the pier, arm brushing against yours. It was the closest she’d gotten to you since your arrival, her floral perfume wrapping around you in a way that was familiar, and yet so much better than your dreams. You held yourself still, worried you’d lean into her if you didn’t.

“I’ve been hearing reports from other staff members that you’re settling in well,” she said, “that you’re a kind and conscientious team member. You appear to be fitting in well.”

“I’m trying.” You weren’t sure what else to say.

“It makes me wonder if I’ve done something wrong.”

You turned to look at her. Her blue eyes had lost their sparkle, and her lips were turned down. You hadn’t seen that look before, not in all your months of dreaming about her.

“How would you have done something wrong?” you asked.

“I don’t know. That’s why I thought I’d ask,” she replied.

“Of course you haven’t.” You shook your head, turning your gaze down to your fingers twisting together in your lap. You were already messing up your future.

“You treat me differently from the rest of the staff. You’re more distant with me.”

You didn’t bother disagreeing with her.

“Have you seen something that’s going to happen involving me?” she asked instead.

You felt your cheeks burn and your eyes darted up to her. She tilted her head at your reaction, leaning closer as her gaze swept over you.

“You have.” She didn’t need you to confirm it.

“It’s nothing bad,” you said, “or, at least, I hope you don’t think it’s bad. Come to think of it, it might not be welcome news. This is why I don’t often tell people what I see. They react badly, usually. But it’s not bad. I haven’t seen anything bad about you.”

“When did you have this dream about me?” She looked at you intently.

“Does it matter?” At least she thought it was only one dream.

“I’d like to know,” she said.

“Seven months ago,” you said.

“You told me you’d never had a premonition about Nevermore,” she said.

“I didn’t know you were Nevermore.”

You chanced a glance over at her. She was watching you and you could almost see the gears turning in her head. Your eyes flicked down to her lips, then away again, cheeks heating. You wondered if you’d ever be able to look at her without the flutter of your heart. Your dreams were saying no.

“What happened in this dream?”

You shook your head.

“I don’t think I should say,” you replied, “not everyone appreciates knowing what’s to come.”

“I’m asking.”

You took a deep breath in, turning to look at her properly. The words were ready on your tongue, ready to spill out. She was watching you with a soft look on her face, expectant and open. You could have melted right there.

“Please?”

You surged forward, grasping her face between both hands. You kissed her hard. She froze and you drew back. Your heart thudded in your throat and your eyes widened. Terror flooded your veins.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You got to your feet, spinning around, and doing your best to flee. A strong hand grasped your wrist, tugging you back. You tried to pull free but she only held on tighter.

“I’m so sorry,” you said again.

“I’m rather flattered,” she said and you braced yourself for a reprimand, “but I’m afraid that didn’t answer my question.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, still facing away from her. You couldn’t bare to look at her as you told her, spilling your secrets at her feet, hoping for mercy.

“I have been dreaming about you every night for seven months. Every. Single. Night. And we are clearly more than friends in them. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you but every time I look at you I, the afterimages of those dreams are there. It makes it so difficult to keep my train of thought around you. And there’s no way it would be this difficult if you weren’t to fucking beautiful. It’s driving me crazy.”

The silence in the wake of your confession was deafening. You tried to pull out of her hand again but she was still holding on.

“Look at me.” She sounded breathless, “please.”

You slowly turned, scared to see what she’d do. Slowly dragging your eyes up to her face, you couldn’t help the way your heart skipped a beat. Her face was so soft, so full of wonder, cracked open to show the light inside her. There was a small smile curling the corner of her lips and her eyes were sparkling.

“I’m not expecting anything from you,” you said, “the future isn’t written in stone. It doesn’t have to go like that.”

“Darling.” Oh, that pet name would get you into trouble, “how about you kiss me again and we see what happens?”

You gaped at her. You had no idea how to respond. All you wanted to do was kiss her again.

“Darling?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

You reached up, hand cupping the back of her neck, pulling her down. The first brush of lips was questioning, needing to know this is what she wanted. Her hands grasped your hips, pulling you towards her.

She deepened the kiss, her tongue sweeping into your mouth. You moaned at her taste, knees turning to jelly. You should have known that she would be phenomenal at this, all your dreams pointing towards it. Her teeth sunk into your bottom lip. You gasped into her mouth, holding her tighter, wanting to thread your fingers through her hair but scared of ruining how perfectly she’d styled it.

You were gasping for breath when she drew away. Her perfect lipstick was smeared and her eyes were smouldering. Your fingers gently touched her kiss swollen lips, ghosting over them. You’d never seen something so beautiful.

“Perhaps you’d like to have dinner with me tonight,” she suggested, drawing back until you were no longer sharing the same air.

“Yeah.” You nodded, “yeah I’d like that.”

She began to walk towards the school, giving you a wonderful view. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from her swaying hips.

“Oh, and darling.” She turned back to look at you over her shoulder, “I hope you know I’m planning on having you for dessert.”

Your mouth fell open before you chased after her back to the school.

[muldermuse]

So all the fluffy imagines always have a big strong man comforting you. Now, switch it up why don’t you say? Imagine you hear Fox crying or yelling in a dream and go and comfort him. Preferably reader being she/her because I think the swapping of gender roles is cute

FIRST TIME WRITING FOX IN LIKE 6 MONTHS LETS GOOO

(Also this isn’t much sorry❤️)

After so many years of chasing monsters, it’s no wonder that Fox is prone to suffer from night terrors. sometimes it can be after long exhausting trips across the country and it can also be when he’s had a relaxing day milling around the house with you: helping you bake and stealing quick kisses

You can never predict when it will happen and the first few times, you’re nervous as hell but you quickly learns what works to help him.

It’s the dead of night when you feel him shaking next to you, he tries to reach for a glass of water to calm his nerves but his quaking hands cause the glass to slip onto the floor (thankfully, not smashing). You hear a shuddering breath escape him and you can tell he’s trying to calm his breathing- he’s trying to calm himself down without worrying you. 

You turn around and press a calming kiss to his damp forehead. Your hand rubbing his shoulder soothingly, prompting him to rest his head on your chest. His breathing starts to regulate as some tears start to flow. He’s through the worst of it, each time he remembers he has you it gets a little bit easier. You’re grounding him, hearing your heartbeat loud and clear confirms his safety to him. 

You’re soft and smell so distinctly like you, he lets the tears continue and holds you tighter. Your voice is soothing like a cold towel on a sweltering day and your nails lightly rake through his thick brown hair. 

“You’re okay, we’re safe at home. May is safe. Boo is downstairs sleeping.” You say it every few minutes. 

He speaks later, his voice thick with emotion, “I’m so sorry, thank you for that”. His eyes are puffy from the tears and he looks exhausted- emotionally and physically. 

You quietly pad downstairs, careful not to wake your sleeping cat and sleeping daughter, to make Fox a decaf coffee. The warmth of the mug helps to bring him down, you put your Seinfeld VHS on the crackly TV in the bedroom, letting the slapping bass and laugh track fill the air. 

Eventually he lets out a deep breath, he feels calm. He’s safe. 

[elliespassagerprincess]

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This story is not based off a song! It’s my own little idea :)

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Jackson!ellie x fem reader

Remember requests are always open! Feel free to leave one!

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: mentions of death, suicide, overall depressing themes

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: What’s the point of living, if you aren’t by her side?

Ellie lay on her back with her eyes closed. The sun shining on her pale and freckled skin. She hummed at the feeling of the grass scraping against her arms. The soft sound of water gushing could be heard from below her, as the two of you lay on a hill, she couldn’t be happier. She was away from Jackson. Away from everything and everyone. And the love of her life lay next to her. Ellie smiled softly just thinking of you. This is what she has always wanted. To be with you, in a beautiful place far away from everything. She loved you more than anything. All Ellie wanted to do is keep you safe, and moving as far away from people and most living things was the best option in her eyes. The safest option. If the two of you were this far away from any infected and people you both would be safe.

Ellie’s thoughts of keeping you safe were interrupted by a soft whisper of her name. She turned her head to look at you, and you were already looking at her. Ellie gave you a soft smile, taking in your features. You’ve been together for years but fuck, you were beautiful. She wasn’t lying when she said you were the prettiest girl she had ever seen. Every time she looked at you, was like she’s seeing you for the first time all over again. She always wondered how she got lucky by getting someone like you. You were way out of her league.

You and Ellie lay there just looking at each other for a while, before you spoke up

“You know, you have to let go of me”

“I can’t”

“Ellie” you said, your tone sounding desperate and frustrated. You sat up and Ellie followed you by sitting up as well, you rubbed your hands across your face and you let out a sigh. Ellie gently put her hand on your shoulder.

“Please” you whispered, voice barley above whisper. “I can’t rest in peace” you continued your sentence

“You aren’t dead” Ellie said quickly

“I am”

“No you’re not” Ellie said loudly, tears running down her face as she got up and looked down at you

You looked up at her and gave her an apologetic smile “Ellie wake up”

“Baby please”

“Ellie wake up’

Ellie sat up in her bed covered in cold sweat and tears. It was dream. A fucking dream. Ellie laid back down with a huff, and turned to your side of the bed. She let out loud broken sobs as she reached out to grab your pillow and she held it to her chest sobbing.

3 months ago you and Ellie had got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and you both were surrounded by your friends and family. It was everything Ellie dreamed of. Your wedding reminded her of all those wedding magazines she always saw when she was out on runs. She never imagined, that she would ever get married. Until she met you. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with you.

3 days after the wedding tragedy struck. Ellie hated it when you went on patrol, but they were short on people due to both Ellie and Jesse being sick. Ellie had a gut feeling that morning when she woke up. Something was wrong. But she pushed the feeling aside, not wanting to upset herself. Later that day Ellie went to the gates of Jackson to wait for you. She got into her best outfit and used some 22-year-old perfume. The high of being married has not run out yet and she planned to take you out that night. She still couldn’t believe it; you’ve been married for 3 whole days.

As Ellie made her way to the gate, paramedics were running to the gate, and her heart dropped at the sight. She saw people running to you. Your lifeless body laid there. Bruised. Bleeding. It was very obvious you were not breathing. And there was blood everywhere.

Tears fell from her eyes as she reached out to grab you, but Tommy held Ellie back as the paramedics were trying to resuscitate you.

Ellie screamed, she fought Tommy. She did everything to make him let go of her but she couldn’t, his grip was too strong.

Ellie watched as they tried. “Please baby” she begged over and over again. Broken sobs and sentences left her lips. Please just get up.  It felt like an eternity, but at some point they stood up. The paramedics gave Ellie an apologetic smile and apologized saying there was nothing they could do to save you. As soon as they said that Ellie’s world came crashing down.

As the months went by, Ellie lost herself. She doesn’t eat she doesn’t sleep. She can’t do anything but cry. She had no purpose. No one to look after. She felt worthless. Lonely. She felt lost without you. She was not going to move on. You were the only one for her. Ellie slowly walked to the bathroom, pained by all the memories this house has of you. Ellie didn’t want to live without you. There was no point.

Ellie spent that day with her family. And she was happy. Content. She made a choice. And she was happy with her decision. As she bid her goodbyes, the Millers watched her walk home.

“Don’t you think she was a little too happy?” Joel asked concerned about Ellie’s behavior.

“No, I don’t think so” Maria commented

 “Just be happy for her she’s healing” she added

Joel just nodded Maria’s words. There was definitely something wrong with Ellie.

Ellie laid on her side of the bed holding your pillow. She smiled at a picture of you, that was on the wall. Ellie’s eyes drifted from the photo, to an empty pill bottle.

“I’ll join you soon baby” she whispered.

“Not even death can separate us”

And those were the last words Ellie Williams ever said.

Her body was found two days later. As sad as it was, Joel knew how much she loved you. He knew she wouldn’t be able to live without you. All Joel hopes, is that if there is a god out there, that he put you two together. That you and Ellie spent eternity together. Because that’s all Ellie wanted. Ellie wanted to be with you forever. No matter who or what it takes, no matter who she had to hurt, she was going to be with you forever.

Authors note: Thank you so much for reading! Remember you are loved and to always spread kindness. If you have any requests or ideas feel free to let me know!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

[chitsangenthusiast]

for awhile now i've been craving to do a fic/scene to this song but no earthly clue how to write it where it adequately matches the energy of the song and isn't a song fic

so imagine with me: marine biologist sokka, famous rocker zuko, and a night of karaoke

——

naturally, their entire thing starts with a concert.

zuko's playing in his home city, and all sokka needs to do is take an hour train in to see one of his favorite bands. easy enough, he's made the same commute countless times, and absolutely worth it, even if it means he's going alone when no one else's schedules line up to be able to tag along.

except the forecasted snow hits harder than it was supposed to during the concert, putting any outbound trains out of commission as well as any hopes for an uber willing to drive him the hour back to home. it's bad enough that he wouldn't risk asking his friends to come out to him, especially not katara, who was already on call tonight and whose probability of going into work just sky rocketed.

which means: a hotel. which means: he's pissed, and if he's going to be unexpectedly forced to spend the money to stay a night in the city then he's at least going to go waste more money and get blasted at a local dive bar he knows.

the older couple sitting next to him who he'd been commiserating with get up to brave the weather at the exact moment zuko walks in.

(the next morning, sokka wakes up to the distant sounds of zuko saying he got late check-out for him, then again to an empty room and a phone number scrawled onto the hotel note pad laying next to his dead phone.)

//fast forward, where zuko is trying to enjoy lunch with his friends in the city, except the paparazzi are relentless. but fate had granted it to be a beautiful day, with the bay sparkling invitingly, and one of the best seafood places happens to be on the route to sokka's favorite lunch spot.

they make eye contact across the street, and zuko pursues.

//fast forward, through several more nights spent together, several more paparazzi issues, a classic airport scene, the kiss that finally seals the deal.

//linger on the moment when zuko sneaks into a conference sokka is attending. the one with an importance that had been alluded to for the past month, where sokka even refused to schedule anything together in the two weeks leading up to it, the one where he laughed at the idea of zuko attending it as a show of support, but also hadn't explicitly stated he didn't want him to find a way to get in.

so zuko does, and he finds out that what sokka had vaguely described as a podium presentation was actually the keynote speech, given to a packed auditorium.

zuko knew sokka was smart, but he didn't know he was 'on the fast track to being renowned in his field' smart.

(it's hot, all that easy intelligence and confidence as he watches sokka just totally in his element. he jokes to mai later that he can't believe he fell in love to a total nerd.)

//linger on how, once he's said it out loud, the thought never leaves his mind.

//fast forward to (finally) karaoke night. sokka can sing, but zuko's never succeeded in getting him to sing along to one of his songs, despite sokka's unabashed proclamations of how big of a fan he is. until tonight (thank you katara and ty lee), and—oh.

oh.

zuko had encouraged him by saying he'd provide back up vocals (it's fun to watch sokka squirm at the idea of singing along with the lead singer of the song he's about to perform), and sokka declared he's going to face the tv the entire time to avoid seeing ty lee's phone bc of course she's recording to some social media live—

he forgets about the camera halfway through, forgets their friends are even in the room despite their cheering, because he loves this song, loves the theatrics, and he'll be damned if he doesn't do it full justice like he does every time he sings it. especially when he whips around, caught up in the vocals and the dramatic sway of his performance, and catches sight of zuko on the couch, microphone fully forgotten in his lap as he stares wide-eyed and open-mouthed at him.

sokka is hitting every note, every emotion that the song demands. he's doing perfect, he is perfect, and when he sidles close enough zuko can't help but cling to his legs, desperate and breathless as he stares up at him, utterly enraptured. he yanks on sokka's belt loops, tries to pull him down, an unconscious action fueled more by his pounding heart than any desire to end the performance—the last thing he wants is to end this—but sokka doesn't indulge him until the very end, during the small space of a breath right before the last few lines.

"together bound in madness," he sings, shakier then zuko performs it, sweeter then he could ever make it, then bends down to kiss zuko soundly, putting as much of his everything into this kiss as he is singing zuko's song, and only sokka is able to hear the rattled gasp zuko releases when he slips his hand into his hair to cradle the back of his head.

when he pops back up to do the big finish, his hand remains nestled in zuko's hair, grounding him. he savors both the iron grip on his hips and how zuko's head lays boneless against his palm.

the last ringing note, the end of the song, and sokka barely gets in a steadying breath before zuko is frantically tugging him back down to his mouth.

in the background, simultaneously hazy and so, so clear, he hears mai: "i can't believe we just watched zuko fall in love."

and yeah. yes.

he absolutely just did.

[jaimemes]

【Boltund】 - How did you find your starter pokemon?

Oh, I think I briefly talked about this before but I can tell this story in a bit more detail!

So I've said before that we tend to have a lot of different Psychic-type Pokemon on our estate. Some are wild Pokemon that like to hang around the property, some are fosters or rescues that we take in, and some are ones that have decided to stick around and have basically become a part of the family now!

There's a herd of Espathra that will come to the property every summer or so for breeding season because they know there is less of a risk of them or their eggs being attacked. Madre usually advises us to stay away during breeding season because the males get very aggressive and territorial.

However, I was a very curious child to say the least.

So one day I wait until it's time for one of males and females to switch incubation shifts (females take the day shift, males take the night shift) to get a closer look at the eggs.

And then one of them starts hatching.

Obviously I start freaking out because what was six year old me supposed to do and this alerts the female who looks just as surprised to see me and because I didn't know the difference between a male and female yet I started BOOKING IT BACK HOME because I thought that was the daddy bird and not the mommy bird and believed I was about to be PSYCHICALLY PULVERIZED INTO PASTE.

In hindsight if that Espathra really wanted me dead then it wouldn't have mattered if I ran or not because 1) they are psychic and 2) they can sprint at almost 200 kph.

Nevertheless I make it home at the crack of dawn right as the sun starts to rise over the horizon. I come bursting into Madre's room and leap into her bed SOBBING because I think I'm about to DIE. So she quickly wakes up to confront the alleged soon-to-be cause of my imminent demise.

Imagine her surprise when, standing outside her doorframe, is a single shiny Flittle.

Later that day we went back out to return the Flittle to its mother and she was really understanding of the whole situation! Mother to mother thing I guess.

But over the next several days we would find this Flittle coming back to our home to come see me. This happened again and again and again. And every time, Madre and I would have to take it back to her mother Espathra and her siblings.

Eventually, the father Espathra started getting pissy at us coming back to the nest so often and the mother eventually had to start turning us away, probably fearing that our continued presence might affect the other chicks.

It became clear to us what had happened: the Flittle saw me when it hatched and imprinted on me, so we really couldn't release her back into the wild. We had to keep her.

Originally, the responsibility of raising this Flittle fell mostly to my mother and the Pokemon caretakers of the estate, but she would frequently be uncooperative with them: refusing to eat, trying to escape, and being a general nuisance whenever she could.

She only behaved if I was the one handling her.

So I started taking care of her (with the help of more capable adults, of course). I fed her and watched her and played with her. I was absolutely enamored by this little Flittle that sparkled like stars. She was my shining little star.

Estrella.

She officially became my Pokémon a few months later.

// ask game

[scover-va]

I love your fnaf stuff so much! And I'm very sorry if you've already covered most of this, but like- any more details on Michael post-scooping? Idc whether that be how to fits in publicly (if even possibly lol), relationships he builds, his mentality, or just important events you planned for him after the scooping! Idc if it's even an AU you have, I just love how you write Michael and would love to hear more of anything! :)

cracks my fucking knuckles oh BABEY ok this is going under a read more because i know damn well this is gonna be multiple paragraphs long. Ty anon, michael afton is my favourite topic ever

Okay so, something important to note here is that even if I choose to ignore all of Dittophobia, my au still does have Sister Location occurring after FNAF 1 - Specifically late December, so like. A month after fnaf 1. It ALSO coincides with the fnaf 3 minigames that lead up to William's death. That's a longass discussion all in itself tho so I'll probably make a follow up post on that if requested

But! Post-Scoop Mike! During the time period of Ennard inhabiting his body he was essentially unconscious for the entire ordeal. Like. Yknow how majority of the ghosts are kinda lacking some level of awareness while in the suits? Yeah. Michael doesn't really remember it, but he still remembers the time passing, so it's not just. Like. Dying on the scooping room floor, then BAM! Alive on the sidewalk. It's sorta like. Yknow those movie/show/game cutscenes where everything's vague and blurry and slow-motion and the audio is funky. Like that

When he DID get his body back, for a few minutes it was sorta like. He was back to full awareness. Noticed he could see things, and that his limbs felt heavy, and that he could hear a mix of ringing and the "You won't die" line and flies buzzing around him. The sunlight felt too bright. You know when you take one of those naps that severely fucks you up, and because of that you wake up half-numb, dizzy, and disoriented? Now imagine that but a million times worse. He's in pain everywhere, his senses are readjusting, he knows he shouldn't be able to see or hear or speak but he can do those things anyway. And he can tell that despite it being a bright, sunny day, no one's coming to his aid. So he forces himself up and painfully stumbles home.

Now, well my timeline of events between SL and 3 is a bit vague, I do have the important stuff down. He gets home, and despite not having been allowed to contact his mom since late '86 (this is important and relevant guys i prommy) and having been told she was dead, he called her anyway. Long story short, one phone call later and also lots of general, messy emotional stuff, Michael. Left the state of Utah as a whole and went and lived with his mom over in California. Because of the whole being dead thing, he did kinda unfortunately sever ties with Jeremy and Henry (aka the only two living people left he even spoke to, besides William but he's a week dead by now), but like. He wasn't really sure how he could approach those situations. A guy who's lost a bunch of cognitive and motor abilities, and a man who fell into a deep depression after his daughter's death. Michael kinda saw telling them as like. I dont really have the word for it, but he saw abandonment as the better option. Figured it'd hurt them less

When it came to fitting into public, it was essentially the same as how he blends in during fnaf 6, just with MUCH darker clothes. He likely did hide away for a while, refusing to go outside, but started slowly readjusting. He didn’t make any bonds while there (unless his mom’s adoptive parents count), mostly keeping to himself. He worked, but it was always nightshift jobs where no one else would be around.

Luckily, his hygiene has gotten MUCH better! Due to being a rotten corpse, he tends to start smelling bad and being a general safety hazard rather quickly, so typically he’ll do a thorough shower in the morning, and then another quick shower at night, just to be safe. And also he wears perfume, to avoid a smell building up. Just to be safe.

About 10 years (ish. I picked a general number so I didn’t have to pinpoint exact timing) into his 30 year disappearance, his mom does unfortunately pass. Lung cancer, turns out smoking a shit ton out of grief is a bad idea. Better than the murders, probably. It was very much so a rough time for Mike, given being in and out of a hospital (bad memories from Evan’s death and Jeremy’s near-death kept him in a constant state of anxiety during this time, not to mention those events already made him plenty anxious, paranoid, and overall jumpy when in hospitals) and then the eventual death. That’s when his goal to hunt down his dad kinda went into full swing. Because, well, that last sorta tether just snapped, so now he’s far more goal oriented.

It was probably full of him following small leads. Contacting some distant relatives of his, contacting his father’s old business partners - he kinda tried to procrastinate going back to Utah (specifically Hurricane) for as long as possible. But then news about Fazbear Frights came around, and the return kiiiinda became inevitable. Because unfortunately, it was a damn good lead. Also, once again, Michael remains friendless in this time. Outside of any possible employers or the people he contacted, he hasn’t actually properly, freely spoken to anyone since his mom or grandparents. And he kinda cut ties with his grandparents out of guilt after his mom passed.

And Fazbear Frights is. Interesting! Because as he’s used to, he has to go in to meet his employer! But what he’s not used to is seeing his estranged kinda-cousin-kinda-brother whom he hasn’t seen since they were, like, 14. Aka Sammy. It’s an incredibly awkward experience all around, despite them both having somewhat similar goals. They agree to pretend not to know each other.

Work goes, well, as it pretty much does in game. Nothing special. Probably some panic and resurfacing trauma on night 2. Anyways the fire! That’s the important part!

As one would expect, Michael was quick to get out of the fire. Wasn’t exactly hard to set it - the place is old and dirty and fucking *moldy* - he just tossed a half-smoked cigarette at some loose oil or something and the bitch was ablaze.

William (slash springtrap but im just saying william for simplicity’s sake) caught him in one of the hallways. And had the fucking *audacity* to try and plead with Michael to help him out of the building. And the kicker is that if it weren’t for survival instincts kicking in and causing Michael to topple William over and crush Will’s arm with an arcade machine to keep him down long enough for a quick escape, it would’ve worked. Michael is. Uh. Very emotionally and mentally vulnerable.

A couple years pass after that, before a new Freddy’s place opens, needing someone to run it. Michael does have experience business-wise thanks to watching and learning from his dad as a kid, so it couldn’t be *that* hard, right? He applied under a fake name, got himself all disguised and whatnot, and headed in!

Michael Afton’s Emily Family Reunion Counter: 2

It did take a few minutes for the recognition to actually happen. But. Yeah it was a lil awkward. Considering Michael’s very silent and very sudden exit 32 years ago. Oh yeah also i have fnaf 6 taking place over more than just a week, stretches out from about 2025-2026. No specifics, just a general span of time. Feels more realistic to me, idk. I get the 1 week thing for gameplay/continuity reasons, but hey! This is just an au! I can do whatever shit I please!

And Iiii! Still need to actually flesh out the fnaf 6 stuff beyond my silly lil jokes. Uhh, I think majority of the stuff gets covered here? Feel free to ask further questions on anything, im more than happy to talk about it :-)

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

Once upon a Midnight Dreary Chapter 3

Tw: mentions of murder, violence, grief, insanity, and other dark subjects

Also this takes place around the 1800s, so be aware that some of the reactions are implied to be typical of the period. This does NOT reflect my perspective on mental health. Note: A bit of a tamer chapter. Not particularly my favorite, but it's to estabish more the setting.

Chapter 4 will be the introduction of Daisy and Nick. I am working on chapter 5

I will wait a bit for the poll to get more votes. I didn't intend it to make it a week, but it was the only option I had. I will eventually post it on AO3 soon

Previous chapter:

Next chapter

Library

Chapter 3: Interrogatory

My arrival at the psychiatric institution has become a blur of memories. It was ironic as I swore not to forget my first day, as it was a source of my deep hatred and revenge against the man who convinced everyone I was mad. I suppose that my tired brain decided to remember the hatred and pain I felt. I could recall being forced down to a stranded bed and being forced fed raw eyes, or it was something like that. The only thing that came to mind was being unable to throw up.

That was only a spoon of the misery I would be forced to live with…

The rest of my days were quite similar, due to the established routine by Dr. Gubberson himself. I would wake up in the middle of the night hearing the bells that announced my parents dead, being forced down to bed by the doctors and knock out until morning came. Then, I would be dragged by the doctors for examination, being force down some bitter medicine before eating whatever cardboard flavored mess they served me as my daily meals. Finally, I would be left inside a cold room, isolated. According to the doctors this would help me out to calm down. 

Only a fool would bite up that tale. I was sure that they placed me there to desperately break off my spirits until I complied and behaved accordingly to how they wished for me to behave. I learned to become a better liar and an actress. A good manipulator, in fact. I learned to adapt my behavior to become pleasant towards the doctors to force their defenses up. I became excellent at becoming mindless and swallowing down my rage every time I was referred to as a murderess. 

It was not an easy task to learn. My arms were swollen with bruises, and my wrists were purple due to the straight jacket, and the daily pushes from the doctors. I was rarely allowed to shower, and if so it would be in a humiliating manner that I refuse to address; but you can let your mind wander off at how monstrous I look. I was the embodiment of a mad woman, but I was stable as ever…

My parents memories were the main thing that kept me pretty much sane from my tortuous mornings. A reminder that I was not to be called mad. 

“She has become much tamer than once she initially arrived, Dr. Gubberson.” I remember how the doctors used to practice their speeches. Those fools, they were thinking they could fix what wasn’t even broken to begin it. Hearing them gloat was an utterly entertaining way to keep me in check. Knowing that I was sane was something I strive to maintain, just to imagine the faces of those idiots once they realized they wasted their time.

“She has regained some weight and no longer hisses at us!” The fools gloated. 

“I am sure the Captain would thank me for helping the wretched Ruckus girl to get her height straight!” I could simply smirk. Savoring my victory once I was able to prove my innocence. Getting please and starting to like the idea of a subtle revenge.

Oh yes, acting up as a little virus in their pathetic system. Getting at their weakest point and strike, but that was simply the seed of vengeance starting to slowly grow. It wouldn’t flourish until much later. 

This was my routine for the next two months, until summer came. I was starting to bore the doctors with my good behavior. I wasn’t exactly doing or exhibiting any sign of improvement besides my usual behavior. So, I was started to be left longer at that empty isolated room. Alone with my own thoughts as the doctors were trying to figure out what to do next. I suppose that they eventually realized I was merely adapting to their hostile behavior or that I haven't broken completely. Either way, their attempts to break me were fruitless, as they only grew little by little my desire to get my vengeance. 

Eventually, they decided to “attempt” to make me talk about a crime I did not commit just a week after the Captain that supported Dr. Gubberson, became a Commander. I did not care about this change, as it would be eventually shorted lived and I would perhaps have an involvement in.

A bloody involvement…one that lasted d around 7 nights of seeing the Captain rest.

“So, the damozel refused to say a word?” I remember hearing the captain speak from afar the day of his first visit. I believe he was speaking with Dr. Gubberson or one of his doctors. I could not tell as the other voice was almost like a whisper. The captain continued after a long brief of silence, where the person he was talking to finished speaking. “Well, it is not surprising at all. The only thing she ever talk once we met was that she was not insane.”

There was a brief silence from the Captain. Probably the other gent speaking. 

“Very well. I’ll do my best to make her talk.” The captain said. “They won’t last long before they break. Late Commander Breadstone would tell ya.”

There was a moment of silence before some laughs ran from the room. The Captain's laugh was strong, so strong as it was the most recognizable one I could hear. So, that was the only information I knew so far, as when I was taken by the doctors to some interrogation room, only the captain was there. There was no other sign or hint he was talking to Dr. Gubberson, so that’s only my major speculation.

“Ah Riley Anne Ruckus.” The captain greeted me. I did not respond but stared. It was my way of defiance, showing that I was not afraid of the idiot. He proceeded to ignore my silence and remarked. “I am not sure whether you look better or worse than I first saw you at the Ruckus’ manor.”

I was silent as ever. Not taking slightly any attempt at being hilarious or crude as serious.

“I’ve heard that you have become tamer or so it seems.” The captain said. “God only knows what is going into your messed up ill-head. At least…you have become quieter, and less defensive.”

I simply stared at him expressionless. Staring right into his eyes, telling him he wasn’t worth my time. He simply tapped the table with his fingers, becoming slightly annoyed at my silence. 

“So…you want to pretend to be mute. How adorable.” The captain huffed. He leaned towards me before gripping my chin. His fingers pressed her almost as he intended to break it. “I am sure you can talk, Riley. Don’t force me to make you permanently mute…”

I knew he was only trying to threaten me. He knew my confession was worth it. I could tell he wanted me to submit to his threats and confess I was a murderer. I simply stared defiantly into his eyes, ignoring the blood dripping from my lips.

I remember the hand of the captain trembling. He was starting to hesitate. 

“Release her now, sir!” One of the doctors ordered. The old man stared at him unimpressed. His hand did not leave my chin, not for a second. The doctor continued, this tine his tone become darker. “Dr. Gubberson will not tolerate the use of violence against one of our patients. He will not allow you to return or speak with Miss Ruckus if you break any bone or cause any injury to her.”

With that warning, the captain released my chin. I refrained from smirking at my small victory. 

“Very well.” The captain hissed. He stared at me furiously. “I suppose that I must find alternate ways to make you talk, don’t you? 

This was how I eventually learned about what happened to my home. After the captain’s death, the other policemen continued with his example. None succeeded, but they fed the fury that kept me alive…

“The bank took your inheritance from your parents.” He muttered with a sly grin. I remained calmed as I could, and refuse to give in into his attempts at provoking my anger. “The bank donated the money to the police force to their investigation of your father’s murder. So, you are peniless, Miss Ruckus.”

This came out to be a lie. I would eventually learn that after the will was handed to me. Sadly, that was the only lie told…

“Money is not up your interest? Ummm, perhaps I should talk about what happened to your parent's belongings.”  It was then when I slightly trembled. He took this as a sign to continue. “Your father’s clothes were sold to some rich folks along with your mother’s dresses. Her wedding dress was sold the highest, probably shredded to pieces by some seamstress.”

The dress my mother promised that I would have when I got married…the one my father fondly kept in his room and stare ever since she died….

I only took my pain as nutrients for my growing seed of vengeance. The captain continued on. “We Also sold your father’s books. All of them in fact. We thought you wouldn’t need them.”

The books my father collected throughout his life, and the ones we used to read when I was a little girl sitting on his lap. The ones that decorated the beautiful library of his study…

“You no longer have your beloved manor…” That was the last attempt he made. I forced myself not to cry. There was no use into giving any sort of weak feeling or emotion that could give an advantage of the cruel captain. As much as it pained me to hear how my parent’s legacy was slowly destroyed, there was nothing I could do myself.

The manor was eventually destroyed after the police gathered as much as they could for their investigation. Majority of our stuff was sold, even majority of our family paintings, and my mother’s collection of taxidermy over the years. One painting did remain, thankfully, but this is something that does far into my tragic story.

That was a long day. A tiresome interrogatory I went through. It was the first one to come, but certainly not the last. The captain would eventually visit me every single day, mentioning details, showing family values that were sold or gifted to charity. He was becoming desperate to make me shed a tear or break. I could listen to his heart beating louder, and louder. 

Sometimes I felt it underneath the ground, but I was so very gentle and cautious not to show I was well aware of that.

Eventually the Doctors and nurses themselves became tired and irritated with the lack of progress. Word eventually reached Dr. Gubberson himself. He momentarily cut out the Captains visits into twice a week, and demanded my treatment to change. That was the end of my straight jacket and being locked, isolated in a cold room. I was allowed to look more presentable myself and start to interact more among with the other prisoners of this hell.

According to Dr. Gubberson, I was no longer a threat. I was still mad as ever as ill, but he believed I would feel more comfortable to speak if I started to have interactions. That was the beginning of how I met two important people into my particular bitter tale:

Nicholas Nathaniel Nack and Daisy Charlene Danger.

[intheyuukei]

19.04.2023 ୨୧ journal

tw: eds, self harm, si, etc.

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it's a bit of a blur, to be honest. at times it's early December and I'm dancing in the snow around me. then suddenly, it's the hottest January summer I've experienced. Or lived through. I almost can't imagine myself, not sleeping or eating in days, saying goodbye to my cat and walking out with my bags. I can still see it, though, the broken glass bottle and the blood from cutting my legs. The turned over clothing rack, it was 3 am. The plane left in only hours, as February was coming to a close. I have new scars today, it doesn't bother me as much. I've always held myself up to high standards, but this time I really felt myself crumble. I had the handful of pills ready, you know, I was going to. I didn't stop for hope, I might not have stopped even for love. Most of the times it's endurance, it's just stubbornness and primal drive for survival. My proudest feats, I think, but only sometimes. I always liked to end my stories as if an end to all this was possible, it made it easier to cope. Some type of resolution, an "it gets better" line I wrote in a thousand different ways, just to soothe myself in intellect and writing. But maybe this time it’s true.

I'm learning to feel, I'm learning to touch. Meaning I wake up sobbing many nights now. I keep having the same dream. It feels exactly like it felt when I was a kid, an overwhelming sense of doom and helplessness to which I can't escape. in the dream I scream at my mother, she never seems to care. I tell her all I've been suffering, i feel the pain tear through my chest, I tell her I was only 5 or 6 years old. Her face doesn't show any emotion. She's not capable of feeling it. In the solitude of my nights I've found; it's alright. This past year I've grieved most of what I didn't have, no childhood, no father, no mother. Grandma died last month, I was the only one not to attend her funeral. I'm a few continents too far away, but I still feel guilty. Though we grieved her while she was alive, because her Alzheimer's took her away long ways before death did. I had never seen a person in such a living dead state before. Its cruel of life that it had to be her. But maybe some would disagree. You see them lose memories, you see them lost speech, you see them bedridden as just a sentient receiver of tube feeding and pain care.  I was back there last Christmas, I just wanted to get out. But "I love you" were the last words I told her, and I'd like to think that I'm allowed to be at peace with that.

Parted ways with the one constant in my life, six years of it, I think we’re still trying to convince ourselves it was for the better. I cried so much about it, about us building new lives from scratch. Or at least that’s what I did, I’m the one who left. I left most of my things back in Chile, only carried what my hands can manage, which is not a lot. I don’t have much, but I've always valued my freedom. I’ve been on my own before, but alone in that city where no one knows me was a different kind of end. All was ending, I felt, my savings were running out and so was my own life.

Now it’s a few months later, and I can call it a lifeline. Not to say too much, but I'm trying to build my life over, and I’m not alone anymore.