#imaginary friends net

[angelo-the-doctor-of-feelings]

Alright so:

Update: Some of my imaginary friends came back!! But some of them are not here :( Still kinda mourning the ones that were close to me :( At least I have some of them back :)

I'm happy to hear that some of your friends returned! (^-^)/♡

Fun story, I researched about the psychological effects behind imaginary friends & it's soooo freaking sad to see all resources are about kids.

(Basically, they're useful for emotional regulation, problem solving, imaginative play, social learning & exploration of experiences beyond your own understanding. Cool, right???)

I mean, yeah, imaginary friends are mostly part of the childhood experience, but come on, there are adults who have them too?

Me, for example? Σ(Ｔ▽Ｔ;)

After some deeper research, I did find some statements that were talking positively about having them as an adult ^-^

Also, I've found my new current favourite word:

🌟Paracosm🌟

An invented place or world where anything may reside: characters, locations, ideas, and adjustments to reality.

🧡🌟🧡🌟🧡

[e1dritchjackal0pe]

𝔖𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔮𝔲𝔢 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰

Summary: Your relationship with Farleigh Start has always precariously walked the line between friends and enemies for years.

But maybe there's something else there, too.

Warnings: 18+ content; MDI. AFAB, Oral (f and m receiving), unprotected sex (this is fiction, please use protection in rl), hints at s and d dynamics; brief, barely there choking, outdoor/technically public sex. Sex while under the influence ( takes place during Oliver's party, so drugs for Farleigh and alcohol for the reader). Farleigh being an a*s, but what's new. Reader is American. Heavy denial of feelings in the beginning.

Notes: 14.6 k words. There is an abhorrent lack of Farleigh content on this site, so I thought I'd contribute. Not proofread, divider by @saradika-graphics

𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖎𝖎 - 𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔦𝔦

Honestly, it's a wonder how you always manage to forget the sheer opulence of the Saltburn Estate - even when it wasn't in the throes of a celebration that costs more than your yearly salary. It's like some sort of dream almost. While you're in it the details are all startingly intense. Overbearingly so. Flaunting in front of you with all of its details and sights; like a kaleidoscope. The memories never do the estate any true justice. The soft, rolling lush fields; the crystal blue skies that loom over the tall gray spires. It's all painted behind your eyelids with a haunting clarity. But as soon as you leave - as soon as you wake up - the entire experience never truly feels real. Bits and pieces slip through your fingers. It loses its tangibility somehow and you can't help but wonder if you had imaged the whole thing, even with Felix's number programed into your phone; a physical reminder that Saltburn is indeed a real, tactile place. 

But even here tonight, while walking the halls and strolling through the courtyard, it doesn't feel like reality. It seems as though you've stepped into a fever dream, crossed some imaginary threshold and entered some mirroring realm. The air is charged. Electrifying. And you swear you could feel the magnetic net of adrenaline and excitement prickling at your fingertips. A cocktail of emotions amplified by alcohol and drugs and endorphins. 

Everywhere you looked there were jovial, writhing bodies. People dancing and laughing. Some full on making out - and others dangerously close to toeing the line of having public sex - and others were having a less enjoyable time by collapsing in exhaustion or blacking out in an inebriated haze. One unfortunate soul had thrown up all over the floor boards of the foyer, and you had just narrowly missed being sprayed by the projectile vomit as you had passed. It was like the Exorcist. 

Thank God it hadn't been on one of the Persian rugs. 

It was someone's birthday, it seemed. A little impromptu. Not initially planned. Oliver's - at least that's what you believed it was. The same Oliver that Felix had mentioned during one of your phone calls. He had spoken of him fondly, but when Felix had rushed outside this evening to greet you from your taxi and help you gather up your bags, he had seemed less interested and even a little irritated in the mention of his newest companion - or as harsh as it sounds, charity case (he seems to have a new one each summer). And he had been quick to divert your line of questioning, stopping you with a somewhat curt, "he's just a friend from Oxford. That's all." And that was that. You knew not to press him over it. 

But your time with Felix was cut short when he was pulled aside by an excited Elspeth, who had spared you a quick glance and a "hello, darling," before eagerly trying to get his advice on the party preparations. Which he didn't seem particularly enthused about being dragged into. And it left you to stand awkwardly on your on in the middle of the foyer, trying to force your bleary eyes open. Jet lagged with your will to live paper thin from only having a rough five hours of sleep to back it up. And for a moment you had feared that you might actually pass out on your feet but luckily Venetia had sought you out and saved you from feeling too awkward amongst the others. Occupying the time by gossiping and interrogating you about your time back in the States. All of which, you had confessed have been rather boring. Filled with exams and dead-end dates and careless flings. And even though the initial arrival always leaves you feeling like a fish out of water, you were thankful to have been invited back over to Saltburn. The sprawling, golden fields and fresh crisp air always a welcome reprieve from the loud, chaotic clamoring and the smog blanketed horizon of Los Angeles. 

Even though the wild, scattered throng of sweating bodies that were bumping into you honestly weren't all that different from the clubs you frequent back home. Of course, the sheer show of wealth and splendor that had been rolled out for Oliver was nothing that you had ever seen before with the only thing to rival it (and surpass it, probably) being Felix's very own birthday party that you had been able to take part of a few years back. One that had been themed after a strange but no less entertaining amalgamation of cowboys, space and disco, and the costumes and decorations then had left you in a state of awe, much like tonight. 

Everywhere you looked there was something else to gawk at. Glittering lights, a hired contortionist and at one point you had even seen a swan rush past you out on the courtyard - which you had only felt sad and a little angry for. 

It was pure, unbridled pandemonium. Noisy and cloying with the scent of perfumes and marijuana and alcohol; and you couldn't escape it. Not even when you had gone outside to take advantage of the dark, balmy summer breeze to cleanse your lungs. And everything had been going well until a drunk man had lunged out of the crowd towards you. Wobbling on his feet with a loud wail akin to a war cry as he aimed a narrow tube directly at you. And you only had a fleeting second to wish that it was one of those party canisters full of tensile when he had set it off with a loud pop! And a large, shimmering cloud of glitter had burst over you like a mist, layering across your hair, and costume and skin like a sheen of sweat. You didn't even have time to yell at him before he was scurrying off into the crowd with a demented cackle, probably on his way to find some other unfortunate person to glitter bomb. 

And even worse a quick glance downward had revealed that the drink in your champagne glass had been tainted by a thin coat of sparkling silver. Even if you wanted to be lazy and drink around the floaters, the amount drifting around in the champagne was too much. You probably would have ended up choking on all of it. It was with a defeated sigh that you tossed out the remainder of your drink onto the trampled lawn. 

For the first time tonight you're actually thankful that Venetia had chosen to leave you for some tall, dark, and handsome stranger that she had met near the beginning of the party. You hadn't seen her since, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise. You would hate for her to see the state of her dress. It is just glitter, easy to wash off in the grand scheme of things, and too be fair she had said that she didn't even like the garment. It was just some random piece from another one of the Catton's wild parties - themed after Renaissance art and fables, you think. And she had sifted it out from the depths of her closet with little fanfare.  "It's just some old thing, " she had told you plainly, even though the dress probably cost more than your monthly rent. Clearly, she wouldn't be distressed over some glitter, but you were still having a hard time fighting the sinking feeling in your gut. It was borrowed. She was letting you wear it. And now it was covered in a dust of silver because some guy decided to be a dick. 

It could be worse though. It could have been a glass full of wine that he had dunked on you instead. You suppose you should take your wins where you could get them. 

A part of you thinks about returning inside the manor and calling it a night. Taking a much-needed bath to clean off the layer of glitter from your skin and just going to bed. But really, you aren't sure if you'll even be able to manage falling asleep with the sheer volume of the music playing throughout various sections of the house, and the sound of the raucous cheering and laughter. And you could imagine what Venetia or Felix would tell you, to quit being so reclusive and to get out and socialize. 

You did fly all the way over here. Planned this trip for a few weeks and made preparations with your job and roommate when Felix had called to invite you over for the summer. It would be a complete waste to turn in for the night and huddle yourself up in your quarters. 

And with the fog of alcohol draping over your body you know you should probably put a pause on it for a bit but fuck it, it's a party and you need another drink. 

 You glance around the courtyard, hoping to spy one of that servants that have been forced to parade platers of alcohol around for the many guests but all you see are the scattered throngs of people dressed in fairy wings, strange animal masks, and plastic swords. Honestly, it never amazes you how many people get invited to these events. Even with all of the family members combined, there's no way they all know every individual here directly. There's probably enough to fill a damn stadium. 

In your search your gaze sweeps over the steady bonfires, the temporary lovers grinding against each other and a pair talking amongst themselves - wait. That catches your attention. You feel heat prickling at your chest; irritation rising in some subconscious sort of reaction and as if they have a mind of their own your eyes skitter back over to them to confirm if what you thought you saw was true. And lo and behold, there he is. The bane of your existence. Farleigh Start. 

Your eyes flicker across him from his head to his old-fashioned boots. He's holding some sort of mask in one of his hands. A big bulky thing with long protruding ears and an equine shaped face and you have to squint to come to the concussion that it appears to be a donkey.

 He seems to be talking to someone. A person that you don't recognize but they both seemed to be engaged in some sort of heated stare off from near a rotating pig on a stick. It looks like he's found another unfortunate victim to prod at and humiliate. Not that it was difficult for Farleigh. He was always eager to find someone to harass and belittle. And the more that someone fought back, the more interested he seems to become. He's been a personal thorn in your side for longer than you'd like to admit. 

Of course, you knew he would be here, but that didn't necessarily mean that actually seeing him made it any easier. It had to have close to a year since you've last interacted with him, which had to have been during that awful Christmas party back in the States. Why Graham had invited both of you when he knew that neither of you get along is a mystery. It could have been some lame attempt to get two of his closest friends to finally clear up whatever animosity was between them, but in all actuality it had just made worse. All of the passive aggressive barbs and thinly veiled sneers had nearly reached a boiling point that night when Farleigh wouldn't just leave you alone. Seeming to make it his mission to antagonize you at every turn with childish insults. But as childish as they might have been, they added up over time until you were giving him what he wanted, lashing out in response to his nasty little comments. 

And to think at one point you had actually been excited to meet him. As Graham's close friend and roommate, you were interested in getting to know the guy that he couldn't stop gushing about. The one who he had praised nearly nonstop. Farleigh had been nice enough in the beginning. And you even enjoyed his company for a time. His humor had always been a bit snarky, and the jokes he told were usually at another's expense. But he had been - as much as you hate to admit it, fun. And at one point, you had even considered him a friend of sorts. Or at the very least an acquaintance whose company you enjoyed while you both rambled on about nothing and everything, often gossiping about others. 

It had all been fine between you. That was until Felix had come down to L.A. to visit. He had gone out with Farleigh and Graham to go and sightseeing, which eventually steered into hopping from club to club as the day wanned into night. And when the invitation had extended to you, your relationship with Farleigh had taken a turn. For whatever reason talking to Felix was easy. But that was just Felix you suppose; always able to make friends with just about anyone in the room. And the closer that the two of you had become, the more strained your association with Farleigh had grown until it was filled with nothing but sardonic remarks and passive hostility. And instead of being a sort of surface level confidant, he gradually became a presence that you detested. And your relationship had gone from a mutual respect and cordial conversations to some sort of strange cat and mouse game. The both of you exchanging snarky jabs in an attempt to see if the other would crack. 

You would be lying if you didn't admit that some part of you enjoyed your little spats. And maybe you had hoped that he would be here tonight. Not that you'd ever tell him that. You'd rather trip onto the sharp end of a knife. 

Suddenly Farleigh is stepping towards the stranger, shoulders rigid and body pulled taught, seeping with irritation. And he takes ahold of their face, forcing the shorter man to look into his eyes in some sort of intimidation tactic.  Farleigh's nearly seething. And his expression is firm with an apparent frustration. You don't think you've seen him so visibly aggravated before. You can't help but wonder what the mystery guy may have done to warrant such a response from him. 

And then Farleigh is pulling away, releasing the stranger from his grip with a smug smile. But on him it looks more like a sneer with the way his lips are stretched and showing off his teeth. He's moving towards your direction now, probably intending to head back to the house, and he's yet to notice you. You contemplate leaving. Of slipping back under the cover of the scattered crowd and disappearing before he sees you, but your body doesn't move. Instead, you're stock still.  There's some awful feeling in your gut that seems horrendously akin to anticipation; fluttering and soft and nauseating. 

You should just leave. You could leave if you'd just move. But it's too late. You swear there's some awful full body reaction that occurs when Farleigh's gaze meets yours and he stops in place to assess you. For a moment it's like you've been sucked into a black hole. It's like time has dilated and shrunk down around you until it's frozen solid and suddenly the lively chaos around you falls quiet, muffling down into an insignificant hum in the background. Recognition flickers in his eyes and something else crosses his face too. Something that you don't quite recognize but regardless, it feels as though the both of you are engaged in some sort of wordless exchange. There's another smile growing on his face. It's mischievous but still much more relaxed and familiar than the previous one that he had worn, and you can't help but return one of your own. 

It's then that you're finally able to gain control of your own body, walking backward a few steps before you twist around to slip amongst a gaggle of passing girls with something that is suspiciously close to excitement bubbling in your gut. You briefly use them as cover to get you closer to the house entrance, and they're all too occupied with giggling and gossiping to notice your presence. But you're able to remove yourself from the cluster when one of them drunkenly trips on her skirt, and she saves herself by latching onto the shoulder of one of her friends with a wild laugh. The others all gather around her to jokingly reprimand her as they assist her in righting herself but you're already stepping through the back threshold of the manor, and you're thrown headfirst into the alcohol infused, neon casted mayhem. Party streamers, glow sticks and blaring upbeat music. It's complete madness. You can hardly hear yourself think and trying to work yourself through the tight gaps between people's swaying bodies proves to be a challenge of its own and it's a heavy reminder as to why you had even gone outside in the first place. 

The atmosphere is cloying and thick; you feel as though you might actually be able to choke on it like it's a physical thing. As otherworldly and exciting as this party is, it's another experience entirely when you're being elbowed in the ribs by an oblivious drunk girl who isn't aware of her windmilling arms and all the intoxicated men who think that you're trying to feel them up and flirt with them when in reality you're just trying to get by. And for a split second you feel as though you may never make it out of the tumultuous sea of bodies. That you'll be cursed to wander around aimlessly in the wild, dancing masses for eternity. Subjected to the ear shattering music and scent of spilt wine and bourbon and sweat. 

But then you hear something that sounds suspiciously like your name. It's distant and damp as though your ears are plugged and for a second you had thought that you imagined it before you hear it again. This time louder and there's no mistake that someone is calling you. It has you pausing for a moment to analyze your surroundings and then you catch sight of someone familiar at the far end of the room and for a moment you think that your eyes might be lying to you with the aid of the dim lighting. The deep, saturated, shifting hues of purple and blue and red tinting the chaotic space doing very little to aid you. But someone is waving their arm up the air for you to spot them better and a long glance confirms that you were right in your assumption. The relief that sweeps across your bones is insurmountable and the glimpse of a hand raised up in the air to beckon over you is even more incentive to press forward. And you have to shoulder past people until you enter a small break in the crowd. 

"There you are!" Venetia shouts triumphantly, swaying to the rhythm of the song playing at full blast. "I've been looking all over for you!" 

You don't bother refuting her. Of countering that she was the one who had wondered off without any plans to meet up afterwards. Instead, you just move up closer to her, doing your best to match her movements and energy but you're entirely too self-conscious to actually meet her. And you feel the fleeting sense of relief that she has yet to notice all of the glitter covering her dress or doesn't care. 

"I had to go outside and get some fresh air, " you confess and even underneath the low lighting you can see the way that she nearly rolls her eyes at you, but even then, there's a well-meaning smile on her face. 

"You're at a once in a lifetime party, and you were spending it outside?" 

"Just for a minute." But she looks completely unamused by your apparently flimsy defense and suddenly she's grabbing you by the shoulders and leaning towards you like it might seal in her words better. 

"Well, you're supposed to be inside. Dancing and partying and getting drunk." She squeezes her hands against your skin. "Seriously, it's like you're allergic to fun." 

Okay, a little bit rude. And you try to remind yourself that she's just saying it because she's probably drunk. For the most part, all of the younger Catton's (Farleigh included) have a tendency to be social butterflies and party animals. It was something that you had struggled to keep up with when you had officially become friends with Felix. Luckily, he was typically the most understanding out of all of them, and he was aware enough to take notice when you were burning out. It was something that you had thought that Venetia had come to terms with as well, but every now and again she always makes sure to voice her objections. 

And you open your mouth to protest but you hardly get anything out. "That's not tru-" 

"And as your friend it's my duty to ensure that you do exactly all of the above!" She pulls away with a smirk that is entirely all too satisfied, and it immediately has the alarm bells inside your head blaring. "And maybe even a bit more." 

You don't like that last bit. 

"There's someone who I think you'd love to meet!" And you swear you can feel your stomach drop at those words but exasperation bleeds through the discomfort until you're holding back an irritated sigh as she practically gushes some stranger's name. "Reuben!" 

And at the call of his name, the guy seems to appear from the darkness and shifting bodies like some sort of spirit. It takes you completely off guard how closely and quickly he moves, and you have to physically keep yourself from flinching back. The entire situation is jarring, and you feel like an insect pinned to a corkboard with how both Venetia and this stranger - Reuben are watching you expectantly. And it takes everything to muster up a smile that you know must look strained and unnatural. "Hi," you greet lamely, but he doesn't seem to be the least bit deterred or put off. 

And he is cute, you'll admit. Kind, joyful eyes that you think are hazel but it's honestly impossible to tell in this lighting and there's a dusting of freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. He seems inviting enough if first impressions are anything to go by, but for whatever reason you don't find yourself gravitating towards him or longing for any sort of conversation with him. 

"It's nice to meet you!" He returns, loudly projecting to be heard over the stereo system. "Venetia's told me a bit about you." 

"Uh-huh, " you nod for him to continue or maybe divulge, but he doesn't. He just stands there silently without removing his gaze and you can't tell if it's because he's just oblivious or if maybe he's just socially awkward, but it has you shuffling on your feet all the same, desperate to move or do anything to make this less weird. And you glance over at Venetia who still has that hopeful expression on her face, doing your best to telegraph your discomfort without tipping Reuben off. And she does seem to notice but she doesn't tell him to leave or direct him somewhere else like you had wanted. 

"Reuben said that he's been to America before," she reveals. Apparently trying to salvage this little interaction and cultivate it into something more. 

"Oh, really?" You perk up a bit, or at least try to. "Where did you visit?" 

"Uh, New York. City, " he clarifies at the end before his demeanor shifts into something a bit sheepish and playful and the gold plastic crown perched atop his head glints in the lights. "It was a bit of a bore, I won't lie. But that was probably because I was there on a business trip and not on holiday, so feel free to put the blame on me." 

His attempt at joking does thaw at some of the unpleasant tension that had burdened the air, but even with the initial ice broken there's still just a simple, straightforward uninterest underneath it all. You aren't stupid. It's obvious why Venetia had pressed to introduce him to you, it's obvious why he had agreed. And you don't fault him for trying to get lucky at what might just be the party of the decade (for you at least) but keeping him here and stringing him along is a complete waste of everyone's time. You aren't going to sleep with him. Not tonight or any other night. And then you go to tell him as much, parting your lips to just get to the point and lay all of your cards out on the table but then Venetia is tapping on your shoulder, making you pause to look over at her. 

She has this strange, delighted smile on her lips that's even worse than the one she was wearing when she had invited Reuben over. She nods her chin over to your right, watching eyes trained on something or someone. "Your shadow's here." 

You nearly break your neck to follow her line of sight and your heart skips a beat when you see Farleigh standing several feet away from a gap in the crowd and you have to wonder just how long he's been standing there for. And you don't know why you suddenly feel as though you've been caught doing something wrong. Why your body flushes and prickles with shame and you feel like cringing. Maybe it's because of the way that he's looking at you. How his eyes dart from you to Reuben like he's assessing something. Most of the emotions flickering across his face are unreadable. But for second you think that you catch glimpses or what might be anger or irritation and worst of all betrayal before it leans into something neutral and flat. And then just as you had, he's turning on his heels and vanishing. But unlike you, he doesn't smile as he leaves. He doesn't walk away with a silent invitation to follow. 

And then Venetia is turning to Reuben with a sweet smile and tilting her head. "Alright, you can go now." 

He looks just as confused as you do, and he turns to look at you like he's expecting you to jump in to defend him or at the very least offer an explanation, but you don't have one to give.  You're just as lost as he is and when you don't speak and tell him to stay, he backs away, spreading his arms out in a sort of silent 'what the fuck?' gesture and vanishes back into the throng of bodies. 

"What . . . was that?" You ask, tense with a mutated type of bewilderment and anger. 

"I just wanted to see it." She says cryptically and irritatingly, begins to dance in place before finally disclosing on that little comment. "The look on his face." 

"What?" You snap. 

"Please, the way you two dance around each other is getting dreadfully old. It's boring and tired. I just did something to get the ball rolling." 

This in particular isn't new by any means. You had heard it all before from the two Catton siblings. Their vehement insistence that you and Farleigh had some unspoken attraction for the other that you both refused to act or speak on. It had nearly become a joke for the both of them. To prod and poke at you and Farleigh with to their hearts content. It was something that the both of you had learned to accept over time - somewhat - and ignore. But this. This new and entirely strange. 

"So, what? You were trying to make him jealous?" Your forehead crinkles as you watch her; incredulous and perplexed. 

"Trying?" She echoes amusedly." I succeeded. Did you see the way that he was looking at you? He was practically seething." 

You almost scoff. He wouldn't be jealous; he had no reason to be. And you don't know why Venetia's little ruse has pissed you off, or why that strange look on Farleigh's face had made your heart drop, but it did. 

"The two of you are so dense that it's honestly as frustrating as it is entertaining," she says with pure exasperation. "I mean, whenever you're here, you're practically fused at the hip. Bickering like cats and dogs like we can't all see the truth." She laughs but it's more of a scoff really. "He speaks about you. All the time. Always whining and complaining about something you've done. But it's different. He practically has hearts in his eyes while does it. And it's exhausting." And then she's backing away from you, leaving you to settle and drown in the disarray of your own thoughts and come to terms with that. Does he really speak about you like that? Surely, there's no way. 

 "So can the two of you, for all of our sake's, sort whatever mess you've got going on between you and just fuck already? " 

And then she's spinning away her heels, sending you a wink over her shoulder and the silver chains wrapping around her body in a delicate draped halter glint and twinkle underneath the lights; showcasing that elaborate weblike shape that they've been constructed in. And she just leaves you. Abandoning you in the middle of the temporary dancefloor while you fight with an upstream of odd emotions. You just standing there while you tussle with the urge to find Farleigh and apologize (apologize for what?) and tell him that it was just some weird joke from Venetia (why does that matter?). You don't know why you feel the need to go and try to repair whatever damage Venetia may have just done. What that said 'damage' may even be, you don't know. And you also don't know why you're suddenly heading off in the direction that Farleigh had disappeared in, scanning the crowd for him with some ugly sense of desperation that you don't want to unpack and analyze. Not even as you yield to it.  

You aren't even sure how long you search for; your gaze jumping over every face and person that you see in the hopes that you find him. But the room is packed to say the least, and the odds of you actually stumbling across him must be low. He might not even be in this specific room anymore. And if that's case then you might as well as give up now. The estate is sprawling; if he doesn't want to be found, then he won't be. And you think about giving up. Of turning in for the night and trying to talk to him in the morning when you inevitably see him at the breakfast table. 

But then you see him. Only this time there's no double take or reason to reconfirm that it is him, this time you spot him immediately.

He seemed to have shed his doublet at some point, leaving him in his pale undershirt. His mask is gone as well. And it takes your mind a second to realize that he's not alone. That he's pressed against some girl like he might kiss her. There's a smile on his face; inviting and flirtatious and the tips of their noses brush together as they lean in close. 

You're an unintended observer. You shouldn't be here watching them in a moment that clearly isn't meant for you but it's as though your feet are glued to the floor. It's like watching a car crash. You don't want to look; you don't want to be here but some awful part of you is making you stay. Your muscles have gone still from something prickling and cold and disarming. You can feel it in your chest too. It's making your lungs seize and for one long, paralyzing moment it's almost like you can't breathe. But you don't have a right to be bothered by this. Farleigh's entitled to have one-night stands or flings or to go on dates with people if he wants to. There's no reason why he can't. And there's no reason why you should be feeling shame and betrayal and hurt right now. Absolutely no reason. You wonder if this is what he had felt just a few moments before while you were standing with Reuben and that odd little side of you hopes that he had. 

God, what if Venetia had been right? What if - 

Their lips brush together. 

They're going to kiss, some hideous part of your brain whispers and even worse your body tenses and coils like it's bracing for some sort of dreadfully anticipated impact. This is it. The moment the car crashes and erupts into burning flames. 

But then Farleigh goes still. Pausing as though someone had called his name or he's remembered something. The girl that he's pressed up against leans back with a confused furrow pinched between her eyebrows when he turns his head and his eyes land on you. 

Your mouth goes dry, and your tongue seems thick and useless, and you try to swallow around it. Now that you're here you don't even know what to do with yourself. You aren't even sure what you had gone after Farleigh for. You didn't have a plan to begin with; you didn't know what to say. You have to internally curse yourself for following after him and putting yourself in this situation. It's strange and awkward and it takes everything for you to even manage a smile. To try and look casual and pretend that maybe you had just stumbled across them and hadn't intentionally tracked him down. And you lift a hand up in a lax wave while your mind ceaselessly chants for you to leave. To just go. 

You can feel Farleigh's gaze searing into you, drilling holes into your head even as the girl that he's with leans towards him and you can't hear over the distance or the music, but she appears to be saying something if the way that her mouth is moving is any indication. 

You're quick to turn on your heels and all but nearly speed walk away from the both of them, eager to create as much distance between you and them as possible. You don't feel like you're apart from your body. It's like you're disconnected from it, uncomfortably aware of your limbs and movements as you rush away. And it's like your emotions are stuffing your body full and threatening to tear it at the seams. Emotions that you don't recognize; that you don't want to recognize. 

A warmth and pressure suddenly encircles around your wrist, much like a hand would and for a moment you think that you've imaged it. But then you're being pulled back gently by the strength of someone's grip, and it forces you to stop. You know who it is before you turn to look at them. You can smell the burn of tobacco from his cigarette habit on his clothes, and it blended with the delicate musk of his cologne. The woody notes of amber joining along with vanilla and bergamot and cardamom made your mouth water in some horrid Pavlovian response. It was humiliating. 

Then your eyes are meeting his; dark and glimmering underneath the flashing, sweeping lights dancing about the room. And for one agonizing moment neither of you say anything. It's like you're both simultaneously drifting away and stuck in place. The energy looming over the both of you is foreign and strange, and Farleigh can feel it too if the blank, unsure expression on his face gives away as much. 

And then he's releasing your wrist and you let your arm drop down at your side. He shifts on his feet and the weird tension in his shoulders drop as easily as if it were a piece of clothing and a smirk takes shape on his face. This is the Farleigh that you're more familiar with, with the condescending look in his eyes and a prideful tilt to his head. It puts you at ease. Dulling the nervous butterflies in your gut and allowing you to settle underneath his presence. 

"Well, if it isn't Felix's favorite little pet." It's meant to be an insult. Most would read it as such, but for you it brings nothing but relief. It feels like a consolation almost. That whatever these strange little interactions have been they haven't damaged your relationship with Farleigh (what relationship?) and made things odd. He glances around the room and all of the festivities, the swaying crowd and streamers and flowing alcohol. He wrinkles his nose in a way that comes off as falsely apologetic. "Or I guess I should say second favorite now." 

"Then it's a good thing that I didn't come here for him," you respond easily enough. Internally thankful that the last remaining remnants of tension in your throat hasn't prohibited your ability to speak. "I just know how thrilled you always are to see me, and so I couldn't possibly bring myself to skip out on the trip."  

"Thrilled," he echoes with a scoff. "Is that what you think? Because personally I feel like drowning myself in the pond right about now." 

"No one's stopping you, " you quip back easily, finally slipping back into your old dynamic. 

His forehead scrunches as he pins you with an incredulous look, tilting his head as he moves in closer towards you. "And leave you here all alone? What would you do without me?" 

"Thrive. Live. Experience peace." 

"Sounds boring." 

But you don't have time to respond. He's leaning back on his feet and stepping away from you while he digs one of his hands into the pocket of his costume's pants. And when he removes his hand, it comes out clutching a packet of cigarettes, which he's quick to ruffle around in. "Come on, I wanna smoke." 

You don't ask any questions as he moves, leading you out from the dancefloor and throughout the house. Every so often he glances back over his shoulder like he's reconfirming that you haven't wandered off and left. He guides you up a set of staircases, past the couple planted by the first step who are openly making out and grinding on each other and up into the twisting, changing hallways. 

"Where are we going?" You ask, nearly getting shoulder checked by a pair of girls who rush down the corridor in a fit of giggles. 

"I told you, " he replies and hardly looks back. " I want to smoke." 

You want to press him about. About how suddenly he's unable to smoke inside when you've seen him do at least a thousand times. Even at the breakfast table. He probably does it on the toilet too. It wouldn't be a surprise. You aren't sure how long the two of you walk for, higher up into the highest floors of the house until he's finally stopping and opening a door at the end of the hall. He pauses in the threshold, dipping his head in and looking in like he's checking to see if it's occupied. He could have just knocked. It would have been an unpleasant surprise for the people inside if it actually had been unavailable. But the coast must be clear because he's slipping inside and nodding his head for you to follow after. He shuts the door behind you, closing it with a click and gives you a passing smirk when you shoot him a curious glance. 

You follow him into the room, vacant apart from some paintings and a few pieces of furniture - an old office maybe, and he leads you across the floors towards a pair of large glass double doors.

He tugs on one of the handles, swinging it open, revealing what appears to be one of the balconies. He's outside before you. And by the time you slide up beside him he's already leaning against the chiseled stone railing on his elbows and the cigarette perched between his lips is lit and smoldering. 

The air outside is still warm, sweet and earthy with the scent of moister in the air, like some distant, unseeable storm is brewing. And you can see so much of the estate from this high up. The frolicking people down below in their costumes and those massive, glowing lotus lamps drifting in the pond. But even with all of the guests down on the courtyard engaging in various kinds of trouble; drinking and shouting and singing amongst themselves, up here their voices can harldy reach you. It sounds like a faint murmur on the soft summer wind. And for maybe the first time tonight you actually feel a sense of calm. 

"He's a selfish lover, " Farleigh says randomly, flicking the butt of his cigarette to sprinkle the dead ash onto the far grounds beneath. "And a notoriously fast one too. Eliana Merrick said he busted as soon as he put it in." 

He notices the lost look on your face and sighs, twisting around on his feet to lean his back against the railing instead. "Your little boytoy from earlier. Reuben Amory." He spits his name out with something that sounds suspiciously like contempt. Venomous and irritated and he lifts the cigarette up to take another drag. "His father's a friend of the family. To James specifically. That's how he always manages to weasel his way into our parties." 

"I guess I dodged a bullet then." You joke, absentmindedly fiddling with one of the elaborate pearl earrings dangling from your ear. 

"What? He didn't scratch your itch?" 

"No," you shake your head with a light shrug. "He was fine. It's just . . . I don't know, I wasn't interested." 

Farleigh snorts, making you glare at him, eyebrows furrowing. "What?"

"Nothing." But his tone is a little sarcastic, and unconvincing and the nasty smile on his lips reveals as much. "He just seemed to fit the bill of your type pretty well. Well-meaning, polite and a little pathetic." 

You nearly laugh but it comes out as more of a scoff. "That is not my type." 

"Oh, really?" He challenges, moving closer towards you and you can smell his cologne again. The vanilla sticks out the most this time. Delicate and sweet. "What about that guy you used to flirt with at IHop? " 

"He was a server. It's literally his job to be nice-" 

"And then there was your neighbor back at the apartment. The one across the hall with the abysmal amout of plants. And then who could possibly forget, what was his name? Adrian? Who you dated for all of four weeks." 

It has you falling silent, unable to counter his argument even though you have a remark waiting on the tip of your tongue. You've never realized that Farleigh had ever paid that much attention to you and your affairs. It has that syrupy, fuzzy feeling pooling in the center of your chest despite that fact that you're actively telling yourself that it doesn't actually mean anything. It's normal for people to notice things about people that they're forced into proximity with. 

"Wow, I never knew you were so interested in my love life, " you say, gripping onto the rough texture of the railing. Stroking your fingers over the soft groves and bumps. "Maybe you should get one of your own." 

"But yours is always so entertaining," he snuffs out the cigarette and carelessly drops the butt onto the ground near his feet. "You know, with the way that it always seems to crash and burn." 

It probably would have stung to hear if you weren't able to say that you were the one to end all of the relationships that you had been in. That you were always the one to take the first step in severing ties. Even with Adrian you had been the one to sit him down and explain that you just hadn't been able to see it progressing anywhere. The both of you were too different. Your goals and wants in life were polarizing and the only things that had brought you together were superficial at best. You just weren't built to last. 

"Please, like yours has ever been any better." But he doesn't look the least bit offended. Instead, there's a satisfied quality to his expression. Your lips purse and something akin to defeat weighs down your shoulders. "Besides, they were all too sweet anyway. A little too nice. They could never keep up. I'd always end up saying something to hurt their feelings on accident and they would think that I meant it and then I'd get the silent treatment." 

"Not like us, huh?" Farleigh responds a little softly. And he was right. There was always something about your dynamic with Farleigh that you had never been able to achieve in your relationships. The constant push and pull. The competition of your endless banter and insults. The way that you could be completely bare and unrestrained with your words without putting your standing with him at risk. There was . . . an intimacy in it that couldn't compare with anyone else. You had seen the worst of Farleigh. The sneers and jabs and heated sarcasm. And in turn he had gotten the brunt of your own ire and jokes, but it still didn't change a thing. Neither of you ran from it. Instead, you both seemed to revel in it. To seek it out even. It was a type of security that you had never found with any other friend or lover. 

And you don't know what it is, but some invisible element shifts and rises between the both of you. Something that's always been there. Simmering and quiet, building up underneath your every interaction like water boiling on a hot stove. 

"No. Not like us," you admit in a near whisper like if you spoke to loudly that it might disrupt whatever magnetic thrum has fallen over you both. So low that he might not have heard you. But then you see something flash in his eyes. Something hungry and eager and he's moving closer until you can feel his body heat pouring over your skin, seeping underneath the delicate fabric of your dress and into your bones. 

"I hated all of them," he says it like a confession. Hushed and passionate. And you suppose that it is one. Told in total confidence, with a certain fervor like a sinner tucked away in a confessional booth. "I hated them because they should have been me." 

It makes you gasp lowly. And your fingers squeeze around the banister like it might ground you and keep you from floating away. And suddenly Venetia's previous statements are echoing around in your skull; mocking and satisfied. You feel slightly stupid now. Blind. But never in a million years would you have guessed that Farleigh had actually ever been jealous of the men that you had dated. It seems like such a silly concept. Or else it would have in the past, but now here he is confirming the very thing that the two Catton sibling's have been vehemently trying to drill into your head for years. And you like it. God, you actually like it. Some nasty little side of you is completely satisfied and even elated that he's been seething over all of your old flings and exes. It feels good because you've been doing the same thing you suddenly realize. Every time that stinging burn had caught up in your chest at the sight of him curled up with some other person - it hadn't been irritation for Farleigh. It was jealousy. You had actually been jealous. 

"Can I tell you something?" You ask. 

He just hums, low and soft. You can't even glance away from him. Not even if you wanted to. Not with the way that he's looking at you. His stare is heavy and intense, and it feels like you're being held by the throat, forced to maintain eye contact with your breath steadily being stolen from your lungs. "I wished they were you, too." 

It's like something breaks free from you when you say it. It was heavy, oppressive and suffocating and in its absence, it's replaced by a sense of ease and a freedom that makes you want to laugh and maybe even cry. And maybe if you weren't preoccupied with the entirety of your attention zoned in on Farleigh you might would have.

Now he's stepping even closer than before, and now you can actually feel the press of his body against yours. The pressure of it has your lips parting, and you have to angle your head to maintain your shared gaze without breaking it. Then his hand is tucking underneath your chin; the pad of his thumb lifts to brush over you, tracing the shape of your bottom lip with something that feels close to reverence. 

"Can I kiss you?" 

Something inside of you breaks apart at the question, crumbling and washing away like sand underneath the crashing power of a wave. You nod before you even fully register it, and your body is buzzing with a honeyed heat. And you understand that if you do this then whatever relationship you have with Farleigh is going to fundamentally altered. It will be the point of no return and the consequences, positive or negative, will be unavoidable. Maybe tomorrow things will go sour. Maybe by then you'll be back to hating each other, even worse than before. But you want this. Consequences and all. 

"God, yes. Please." 

His lips are soft and warm, and they taste sugary and faintly floral with what might have been the flavors of some beverage that he had drank earlier. There's the bite of tobacco on his skin too, sharp and smoky. It's usually something that you had never enjoyed when kissing people in the past, but right now it hardly even registers. You're too busy getting lost in the feel of him. The warmth of his hands framing your face, the way that he shifts you on your feet and nudges you back against the railing of the balcony. Your hands are everywhere that they can reach, stroking down his chest and dipping down to grip his hips, pulling them flush against you like any amount of space left between you might kill you. 

He groans into your mouth at the gesture, nipping at you lip before soothing the sting with his tongue. It has heat, liquid and thick building between the cradle of your thighs. And you know that it's just kissing, but you can't help but internally berate yourself, because if the both of you hadn't been so horribly bullheaded you could have been doing this the entire time. 

And he pulls away from you all too soon, making an embarrassing whimper bubble up from your throat, but he's hushing you with a soft coo, snickering lightly under his breath when he ducks his head beneath your chin to suck at the skin there. Taking it between his teeth and lips and you can't help to soft, breathless pants that start to leave your chest in response. It's purely possessive and you're sure that he's trying to leave marks there, and you can't find it in yourself to tell him not to. It's like your muscles are melting, going boneless at the sensation of his tongue tasting your skin, licking up the salt from it. You can feel the shape of his smug smile against your throat, and it makes you want to slap him. But instead, you're reaching a hand up to cradle the back of his neck, keeping him close to you. 

You're wet already, soaking through your underwear. It's something that you would have been awfully conscious of in the past with another partner, but here and now you can hardly think around the red fog that's beginning to cloud your brain. And then he's shifting, sweeping a hand underneath the silk skirt of your dress to clasp around your thigh so that he could pull it to the side, allowing him to nudge his leg between the both of yours. 

"Farleigh," you gasp, and he cruelly grinds his thigh against the heat of you, steadily feeding the pressure thrumming there but not letting it build towards anything more. It's frustrating. Mean. And it has you clawing at his shoulders impatiently. 

"Yeah? What is it?" He asks, nipping at the sensitive skin on your ear, making sure to be mindful of your earring. You don't respond at first, unable to with the way that he's still steadily moving his thigh against you. It's simple, but with the way that you're already so pathetically worked up, it feels like agony. "Come on, you can tell me." 

And to make it worse, that hand that had been gripped around your leg is now moving further underneath your dress, slipping between the press of your bodies to settle above where you want him. His fingers play with the elastic band of your panties, teasing, implying more. But then he hooks it in the crook of his fingers and pulls, letting it snap back against your skin. The sting is dull, but it has you gasping regardless. You mindlessly reach for his hand that's still underneath your skirt, taking it into your own. And you briefly fear that he'll pull it from your grip. But he allows you to guide him. He removes his head from your neck to look into your eyes, watching your expression when you finally slip his hand underneath your underwear, and you can feel the shocking chill of his signet ring trailing across your heated skin. He takes over from there and you can't help the way that you arch into him when his fingers finally move down to where you need him the most. His face pinches when he spreads you open, and he nearly groans at the feel of you. "Jesus, baby, you're fucking soaking already." 

Your eyes flutter from the drag of one of his knuckles brushing over your clit and it's like it's directly connected to every individual nerve in your body, making you squirm and moan raggedly. 

"Is this all for me?" He asks, dipping one of his fingers lower, teasingly circling the entrance of your cunt but he doesn't go any further. 

"Yes." Your lungs feel tight and your nipples brush against his chest with each breath that you take, doing little to help ease the tension and desire threatening to tear you apart. "Yes, it's 'cause of you. Please, Farleigh. C'mon." 

"What's the rush?" He taunts, angling his head to take your bottom lip between his teeth and biting. "The night's still young. " 

He rocks his thumb against your clit, smirking at you with pure arrogant satisfaction from the way that you shudder underneath his touch. You know that he's absolutely delighting in the way that you've been practically turned into mush by what is essentially some heavy petting. Especially after all of the years of trying one up each other, you're sure that this is doing wonders for his ego. Like it needs to get any bigger. That little prickle of irritation peeks out from underneath the saccharine haze shrouded over you, and you can't keep it down. "I fucking swear, Farleigh, " you nearly hiss, nudging your hips in the hopes that it'll drag the pressure of his fingers closer. "If you don't do something, I swear I'll-" 

"You'll what?" Comes his immediate reply, the low rasp of his voice sounds completely unbothered. 

"I'll leave, " you say firmly. Or as firmly as you possibly can with the way that the knuckle of his thumb has begun to rotate around your clit in tight, but soft sweeping brushes. But he doesn't appear to be worried in the slightest. He just grins at you. And shakes his head as he lowers it to nudge his nose against yours. 

"No, you won't." He says it so certainly. Like he's omnipresent and has already seen the decided future. Like your fate is already sealed. And he's right as much as it pisses you off to admit it. You won't leave. But you don't want to tell him that and give him the satisfaction. " 'Cause you need me don't you, baby? Need me to make you cum." 

You're nodding in agreement before you even realize it, throwing whatever semblance of control that you had right out of the window. 

"Yeah? Gonna let me taste you?" Just the words alone nearly makes you keen aloud like some desperate slut, and you just barely swallow the sound down. But he must see it in your eyes. The sheer want and desperation that you feel coursing through your body like a drug. The need possessing you might actually be debilitating and you're back to clawing at his shoulders and arms in an attempt to just do something. To pin your focus on something other than the heavy ache between your legs. And you can just distantly hear yourself chanting a string of 'yes' like a broken record. 

He tugs his hand from your underwear, and you can't help but mourn the loss, even when he's lowering himself down on his knees and planting kisses down across the expanse of your body as he goes. But then he's rucking the skirt of your dress up over your hips and tucking his fingers back into your underwear like he's getting ready to pull them down. Instead, he's just staring, and his eyebrows are pinched together almost like he's pained. 

"You really are soaked," he says with a sort of awe. A thrum of embarrassment rings through you when you realize that he's probably admiring the noticeable wet spot that has dampened the crotch of your underwear from your arousal. You try to close your legs, mostly out of reflex but the sharp, reprimanding smack on the outside of your thigh that you get in response makes you freeze in place. He glares up at you and you have to reach behind you to grip the railing to keep from collapsing from underneath the intensity smoldering in his gaze. 

"Keep them open," is his only warning before he all but rips your panties down your hips. Guiding one of your legs up with a hand for you to step out of them, but he leaves your lace underwear to hang from the high heel on your opposite foot; apparently too impatient to fully remove them. And he barely gives you time to think or breathe before he's taking ahold of you by your waist and swinging both of your thighs over his shoulders. 

The feel of his tongue laving over the heat of your pussy in a long, greedy swipe makes you scream, completely uncaring for all of the guests down below. And all some distant, buried part of you can do is hope that you're up too high for anyone to hear you. That no one happens to glance up and see you clutching onto the railing for dear life. There's no build up to it. He's completely unrestrained, apparently having the goal to make you cum as quickly as possible with the way that he's working his mouth on you. Swirling his tongue over the swollen, sensitive nerves of your clit and lapping at the dripping entrance of your cunt like a man possessed. 

You mouth drops open with heavy pants, and your hands scramble across the cool chiseled stone for something to ground you and keep you pinned to reality. You can see the glint of your arousal smearing across his lips and cheeks and the look in his eyes is a blend of determination and a dazed kind of contentment, and you can feel him groaning against your pussy, amplifying your pleasure. And if it wasn't for the way that you could barely stop whimpering and crying out, you'd nearly think that he was enjoying this more than you with his pleased hums thrumming throughout your body. 

He takes your clit into the cradle of his mouth and sucks, and you think that you actually sob but you feel miles away from your body and also helplessly, deliciously trapped inside of it. "Farleigh, " you keen, humping against his face in a debauched display of hedonism. One of your hands reaches down, gripping onto his hair when your eyes roll back from the hot suction of his mouth. 

"You taste so good, baby, " he huffs, lapping at the entrance of your cunt with firm, maddening strokes. "So fucking good." 

It's too much. You feel like you're on fire. Like he's pulling you apart with each swipe of his tongue and putting you back together again one agonizing piece at a time. It feels cruel but it's also utter bliss. Your thighs are shaking from how tightly they're seized, clamped around his head in a tight squeeze. But he doesn't seem to be bothered about it, because when you try to be mindful and spread them open, he just takes them into his hold and presses them back up against his ears again like he wants to be suffocated. And the thought of that alone has something sharp and electric zipping through you. You file that little theory away for later. 

And that familiar ache is rising up like a high, simmering tide. Building and rushing towards you with a quickness that takes you by surprise and you can feel your entire body winding up and coiling tight in anticipation. He drags you closer to his mouth, scooting you down lower against the railing. You're pretty sure that your back is going to be covered in scratches from the rough texture digging across your skin, but as of right now you couldn't give less of a shit. You let your head loll back on the stone, unable to find the concentration or strength to keep it up yourself. You stare up at the sky sightlessly, just barely taking in the winking glow of the scattered stars above while pure, liquid heaven seeps across your limbs. 

That overwhelming looming pleasure is right over you now, just a few good strokes off. And with the way that he's licking and sucking at you with his mouth it won't be long before you're breaking apart for him. 

"Farleigh," you whimper, choking around a wanton moan, trying to warn him. 

He doesn't give you any verbal indication that he hears you. But the grip on your thigh's tense in response, and he circles your clit with the tip of his tongue before dipping it down inside of you; fucking you with it. You can't help the way you're grinding against him, crying out breathlessly when the point of his nose nudges against that swollen bundle of nerves, urging your orgasm to rush towards you at a breakneck speed that you can't brace for. 

"Farleigh!" You nearly shriek this time while that wild, rush of pleasure crashes down on you with the intensity of torrential downpour. It tears through your body in a way that's almost violent, making you twist under the heat of his mouth and the iron grip that he still has secured around your legs like you've been jabbed with an electrical current. You sob through the brunt of it, probably alarming the entirety of the Saltburn Estate of your current position. And even after the most of it has made its way across your body, he doesn't stop lapping at you, determined to make sure that he wrings every ounce of your pleasure out of you. It isn't until you're weakly nudging his head away from your sensitive cunt that he pulls his mouth away, but he occupies it by kissing at the inner stretch of your thighs. He massages your hips gently and the sensation works to help guide you back into your own body and return a sense of coherence to you. 

All you can do is just sit there and catch your breath, panting raggedly into the night air. You stare up at the stars with complete disbelief while your brain tries to catch up with the fact that Farleigh had just casually sucked your soul out of your body. Sure, you had heard stories of his sexual prowess from some of his past flings before. Heard all of the people gushing and praising his technique in the bedroom, and you had never not believed them per se, you had just never imagined that he was actually this good. 

"You doing alright up there?" He asks and his voice is ragged and a little raspy like he was the one screaming and not you. 

"Yeah," you confirm after a brief pause. "Just give me a minute and I'm gonna suck your dick." 

You can feel him chuckle against you, playful and more than a little cocky but he's more than earned the right to be. "Take your time." 

Thankfully, the strength has begun to come back to your body. And even though your limbs are still a little bit shaky you're more than determined and able to ignore it and push through. You raise your head up look at him, using your arms to shift and lift yourself up. He looks up at you expectedly, eyebrows raising with amusement while he aids you in removing your wobbling legs from his shoulders. 

He must notice something in your gaze; desperation, want, determination, because he just moves to lean back on his elbows with a relaxed smirk. 

"Right here?" He asks. You just nod wordlessly as you lower yourself down on your knees. You could go inside. You probably should. There wasn't a bed in the room that you had entered the balcony from, but there was a couch. Hell, even the floor in there would probably be more comfortable for the both of you than the harsh rock underneath you right now, but you don't want to wait. Not even with the room being so close. Your knees are going to absolutely hate you tomorrow but as of right now, you can't find it in yourself to care.  

He parts his legs for you to settle between them and you're fast to crawl over him while he lifts himself up to kiss you. Your lips connect with teeth and tongue, and you moan into each other's mouths when you reach down to cup the length of him from over his pants. He's hot and heavy, even with the layer of fabric covering him. You're still sensitive from your recent orgasm but when you feel the weight of him against your palm, your pussy flutters and tinge of heat settles in the base of your abdomen. 

"Baby please, just take it out, " he whines. His voice is petulant and quivering. On any other night you would have used it as an excuse to tease him, but as of right now, you don't have the heart (or patience) to. The urgency in his tone has you thumbing at the buttons closing his pants, but it doesn't help that they're so small and that its dark. You have to squint underneath the dim moonlight to find them and your fingers slip more than once. But luckily you manage to pop all of them through their opening in the fabric; even with the way that Farleigh impatiently grinds into the air, trying to use your hand and forearm as something to grind his cock against. 

It's so desperate and dirty but it's also so fucking hot. Seeing him all laid out and begging has a heavy anticipation fizzling underneath your skin, prompting you to grip at the edge of his pants. He's eagerly lifting his hips up, aiding you as you tug the fabric down, working it around the swell of his ass and his hips. And he audibly groans in relief when his cock springs free from the restraint of his clothes. It's so hard that it looks like must be uncomfortable, and there's a steady stream of precum pouring from the tip and trailing down along a thick, throbbing vein in a pearlescent sheen.  

Your mouth waters at the sight, and you have to swallow it in the fear that you might actually drool if you don't. He catches the way you're admiring him, and something smug bleeds into his dazed expression. A reversal from the way that he had outright begged for you earlier. You really want to wipe that look off of his face. 

Then you're giving into your basest desires and leaning forward to lick at the head of his cock with long, steady sweeps, scooping up the salt of him into your mouth. He's rewarding you as soon as you touch him, breathing out a strained, "fuck," while his fingers come up to grip your hair, already knocking a few of the fake flowers clipped along your updo free; honeysuckles and pink camellias. He doesn't force your head down, but he doesn't remove his hold either, gently urging you to keep going and you can't help but concede. Stretching your jaw open further to slip him inside your mouth before slowly pulling off of him with a firm suck, lapping at the slit of his cock when you do. 

He isn't the biggest you've taken, but he's still thick enough for you to feel a slight strain at the hinges of your jaw, but it doesn't deter you in the slightest. You nod your head down to take him in your throat, making sure to be mindful of your teeth as you go and luckily, you're aided by the lubrication of your saliva. You don't stop until you feel the faintest hint of your gag reflex and even then, you have to push off the thought to just keep going, to let yourself gag on him. You'll save that for some other time. As of right now, you want to be able to savor every little movement and twitch and whimper. 

You've just started and it's already so sloppy, wet with the way that your drool smears around your lips and chin, and Farleigh seems to be struggling to keep his hips still, resisting the urge to fuck your mouth. His thighs are tense underneath the palms of your hands, muscles flexing and twitching with frayed restraint and each jerky hitch of his hips is punctuated by airy sighs and moans. 

A glance up from your place between his legs has you appreciating the way that his back is already arching. He looks gorgeous like this, all splayed out with the thick of his eyelashes fluttering against the jut of his cheek bones. You've always had the sneaking suspicion that Farleigh would lean a bit on the submissive side in bed. Always overcompensating with his arrogant attitude and sarcasm, but you didn't think that he'd be this sensitive. You aren't sure if it's just because he might have already been so worked up from eating you out, or if he's naturally just responsive, but either way the way that he's acting is doing wonders for your ego. The power that you're getting from seeing him already so pleased and dazed is filling your head full of a syrupy sort of satisfaction. 

You pull off of his cock with a pop, delighting in the way that he whimpers in protest. You just hum in response, smirking at him while you nuzzle your nose down the line of his shaft and all of his complaints die out once you take one of his balls into the warm cradle of your tongue, reaching up to grip him in your hand while your mouth is occupied. 

He moans raggedly, a string of whispered, "so good, don't stop - please, don't stop." Like you'd ever do that now that you've got him underneath you. And not to sound dramatic, but the sky could split open with brimstone and hellfire and the apocalypse could reign down on Saltburn and you still wouldn't pull away from him. Not when he sounds so sweet. Not while he tastes so good. Salty and earthy across your pallet. And the way that he pants into the balmy night air, already breathless has the heat between the apex of your thighs back with a vengence; burning and wet, and you have to rub them together in an attempt to ease the tension there. 

You can't help the way that you moan around him, lightly sucking at the sensitive point between his balls and the base of his cock while you smear your thumb over his slit. You the use the fluid to aid in few more pumps from your hand before you're licking back up his shaft again, swallowing him back down while your hand switches places to fondle his sack and the cry that he lets out in response is heavenly. Urging you to bob you head down on him in a steady rhythm. You try to remember to breathe through your nose but in your fervor, you often find yourself neglecting to take in lungfulls of air and as a result an oxygen deprived haze has begun to fizzle over your head. But you can't bring yourself to be worried over it. It feels good. The fuzzy, drunken buzz stuffing your skull full while you work his cock is stupidly addictive. 

He must notice the glazed over look in your eyes because he's smiling at you from around the way that his lips have dropped open to release a bout of heavy pants. He drops the hand that had been clutching your hair to sweep his fingers across your face in a gesture that's way too sweet for a guy who's getting head. And it has something soft and sweet blossoming in your chest when he strokes your cheek with his thumb; it makes you feel delicate and adored even while your chin is smeared with spit and cum and your jaw is starting to ache. 

"You're already a little fucked out aren't you?" It's rhetorical, you know, but you find yourself moaning in response regardless. "You look so georgous like this." 

Liar. There's absolutely you look even remotely attractive right now. You can feel the prickle of tears threatening to slip past your water line and down your face, and you're sure that your lashes have begun to clamp together from the damp. Your lips are swollen and there's a sheen of sweat glittering on your forehead. You probably look like a wreck but it still has you melting, and you begin to lick and suck at him with even more passion than before. 

And it must have felt good for him because his head is rolling back on his shoulders and his elbows nearly collapse, leaving him to drop onto his back with a gutted groan. His eyes roll back, and his thighs seize. His white undershirt has ridden up around his ribs, showing off the stretch of his abdomen and you can see the way that his muscles flex and tense with the same pulse of his hips. He's close and it only has you doubling your efforts with even more vigor, desperate to taste him on your tongue, to feel the heat of him in your mouth and throat. The sound of his gasping has changed in pitch, rising into something that sounds close to a sob. 

But then you're being torn off of him without warning and you can't contain your mournful whimper when the weight of him leaves your mouth. Irritation and betrayal flares and you can't keep yourself from glaring at him even while he looks close to wrecked, rambling underneath his breath something that sounds like, "I'm sorry baby, I need to feel you, " as he hauls you onto his lap. 

And your scattered brain is still able to grab onto what he wants. You gather up your skirt to settle your knees on either side of his hips and you're quick to grab ahold of his cock to line it up with your entrance. Neither of you have the mental capacity to tease or draw the process out longer than it needs to be, and you're thankful that he had already ate you out earlier, giving you some semblance of prep. And without any fanfare you're sinking down onto his cock, and your pussy flutters around his girth, stretching until he's buried in at the hilt. 

The shared groans that you let out are ones of relief and pure bliss. Your body shudders at the fullness nestled within the apex of your thighs and Farleigh impatiently grinds his hips up into yours, rocking his pelvis into your clit with a petulant huff. "Come on baby, ride me, " he urges. "Fucking take it." 

You can't find it in yourself to deny him. Or yourself. And he lets you plant your hands onto his chest for support when you lift yourself up with your thighs to begin wildly bouncing on his cock, grinding and swiveling your hips with each downstroke. That thick, heated pleasure is already building up near the base of your spine, and you already know that you aren't going to last long. Not with how worked up you are. And you don't think that he's going to be able to hold off either. 

He's watching you with something akin to wonder in his eyes and his lips are snagged between his teeth like he might be trying to quiet himself. Like he's trying to selfishly hide those punched out little moans. And you don't know why he tried to be hushed now after he's been groaning and whimpering this entire time but that petulant expression on his face tells you all you need to know. He's doing it on purpose, the brat. It has you leaning over him to pepper soft kisses over his cheeks, nipping at his chin and jaw sweetly, before you squeeze your pussy around his cock like a vice and you place your hand around the base of his throat. You don't tighten your fingers around it, but let him feel the pressure of your grip, testing the waters to see if your earlier theory had been right. 

And his body goes taut underneath you while his hips thrust into you with a harsh twitch. A gutted moan follows closely behind, and he grips onto your thighs like he needs it to ground himself and keep himself present. 

"Feel good?" It's admittedly a little condescending but even then, you can't help the softness that bleeds through your tone. He nods his head drunkenly, tilting his head back to bare his throat to you. The way that he's melting underneath the ceaseless roll of your hips and mindlessly fucking into you with deep, heavy thrusts is already driving you towards that tide of heat and ecstasy, and they way that you openly keen reveals as much. 

Your knees are already stinging from the harsh stone floor digging into them and your thighs are already burning with exertion from the ruthless pace that you had set. But you have no desire to stop yet. To switch positions or ask him to take over, not with how beautiful and fucked out he looks beneath you.  

You're both already messy and incoherent, chasing after your pleasure desperately. The noises coming from the place where your bodies are joined is filthy with the repetitive smack of skin on skin and the crude squelching of your cum echoing off of the rock walls around you. And maybe if your brain wasn't practically mush you might would have had the capacity to care, but you just can't find it within yourself while you watch every minute, rapturous expression flit across Farleigh's face. Not while his plush lips are parted for him to gasp, and his eyes have nearly gone cross. 

"Baby, " he whines brokenly. A warning for the way that he's quickly hurdling towards his release from the constant rock of your hips. Yours isn't far off either, simmering and curling within the pit of your abdomen and you can already tell that your orgasm is going to destroy you. It's so close. So, so, so close and you find yourself nodding shakily in response to him. 

"I know, I know, " your jaw goes lax at a partially hard thrust from his hips, muscles spasming around the drag of his cock. 

"Where - where can I- " 

"Inside," you answer, choking on your breath." I'm on the pill - it's safe, you can- " 

He cuts you off with a gutted, shredded groan of your name and his entire body seizes up from the power of his orgasm. The warmth of his release spreads throughout your lower stomach and another choppy, wild thrust from Farleigh grinds his pelvis into the tender nerves of your clit. It just sneaks up on you. Sweeping you up and dragging you down before you can even register that it's ravaging your body and making you scream. For a second you completely forget what it means to have a physical body. You don't have hands, or feet, or a mind. You don't have a favorite song and there aren't any bills to pay, or an apartment back home in America, and the chaotic party downstairs doesn't exist. The cold stone floor beneath your knees isn't there. You're just floating. Suspended in a state of bliss and pleasure. 

For a moment you just are. 

And then your lungs are gasping, filling up with oxygen. Clarity comes back to you in pulses and the feeling in your limbs follows behind. Sensation returns to your toes and fingertips and then your eyes are fluttering open. The first thing you hear is the rapid pulse of a heartbeat and when you breathe the scent of something like vanilla and cigarette smoke nestles within your lungs. It has you rubbing your cheek against the heat of their chest - Farleigh's chest, your brain supplies sluggishly. You don't remember collapsing on top of him but apparently you had. 

"God damn," he slurs, prompting an amused, tired laugh from you. For a moment the two of you just lay there, taking the time to return to yourselves and grasp your senses. And with it, reality rises up too. That you're laying here with Farleigh on an open balcony with his cum dripping from between your thighs. And apart from his confession earlier there's some small insecure part of you that's worried that he hadn't fully meant it. That this was just a simple fling. Something to ease the tension that's been brewing between the both of you for the past few years. But you don't get to wallow in your fears for long before he's tapping on your thigh and shuffling up onto his elbows. 

You just hum at him questioningly, not yet trusting your voice. 

"Need a cigarette," he answers. 

That has you moving, lifting yourself from his hips and you both hiss, sensitive and raw when he slips from you. Your knees are tender too, aching and you inelegantly plop yourself on your rump beside Farleigh to give them some relief. And you briefly occupy yourself with your underwear, slipping it back underneath your dress and smoothing out your skirt as best as you can. 

He works on slipping his pants and tights back over his hips, digging into his pocket as soon they've been righted for a cigarette and his lighter. You watch him with something nervous in your gut. And you tell yourself that you're being stupid and overdramatic. So, what if this was just a one-time thing? It was an amazing time. And if this turned out to be some random fling then that would just make it even more special, right? And he said that he was jealous of your past exes but that didn't necessarily mean that he had feelings for you. You had been the one to jump to conclusions and assume. 

And even if by tomorrow he pretends that this never happened then that would be fine. You'd make do. You'd survive. It won't be the end of the world. 

"Do you want to spend the night with me?" 

The question tears you from your thoughts. Saves you from them really and pulls your attention onto Farleigh. His eyes are glimmering from the burning embers at the end of his cigarette, laying some strange quality in his gaze bare. But whatever it is looks uncertain and hesitant. And it serves as reminder that this is new territory for him as well. That he's just as unsure as you are. It gives you a little boost of confidence that you aren't alone in your self-induced doubts. It makes you smile; soft and relaxed and you hope that it helps whatever thoughts he may have running around in his own head. 

"Sure," you say. "But I want to rewatch House of Wax. " 

His face scrunches up in response, but he's already rising up to his feet and holding a hand out for you to take, helping to pull you up on your wobbling feet. "That movie is shit." 

"Well, I wouldn't be able to tell with the way that you wouldn't stop talking the last time that we all watched it." You grip onto his forearms while you find your balance, lowly cursing your heels and unsteady ankles. The energy has shifted into place, as easily as breathing; thawing all of the worries and insecurities that had initially clattered around in your brain as though they hadn't been there at all. 

"That's because the characters were nothing but cliches and one note, " he scoffs and promptly drops his cigarette on the balcony, snuffing it out by grinding it with his shoe. 

"I also need a bath." 

A smile curls on his lips, a little teasing. " Want to share?" 

You stare at him, a little disbelieving. There's absolutely no way that you could do that again tonight. At least not so soon. You're exhausted, barley holding yourself up as it is and you're still clinging to one of Farleigh's arms for support. 

"Really? After that?" You question, eyebrows raising, but you can't keep yourself from trying to joke despite your surprise. "You're terrible." 

Farleigh chuckles, guiding you towards the double doors gently, "Oh, don't look at me like that," he says, purely amused. "I wasn't suggesting another round, you're the one with your head in the gutter." 

You don't reply. Too caught up in the fuzzy way that it makes you feel; his request to share a bath with you. A small gesture maybe, but it also feels wonderfully domestic and intimate. It has you leaning into his side as you step into the adjacent room, breathing in the scent of his cologne, soaking up the body heat that radiates from his skin. Whatever new chapter between the both of you has opened has still left you two with a lot of unsaid questions and answers. You still don't know what you two are. If there's a label to apply to you both of it was just a one-night stand, but you don't have to get those answers right this second. For now, you can just bask in his company and come morning, once you've both had time to think and adjust you can sit him down and have a conversation. And maybe (hopefully) your relationship will finally become something more. 

But as for now, you don't mind spending the night in his room. Of cuddling up underneath the covers of his bed after a nice bath and watching a movie together, even though you know that the duration of it is going to be spent with him criticizing every line of bad dialogue and griping over plot holes, no matter how insignificant they may be. 

It sounds like the perfect night, honestly. 

But still there is still one burning question that's searing at your brain like a hot coal, and you can't keep yourself from voicing it. 

"Do you think anybody heard us?" 

And his answer is blunt and honest. 

"Oh, yeah, there's no way they didn't." 

[ping-ski]

Not With a Bang, but a Whimper

Reader x Sun

scrapped "rejection" scene from my DCA x Assistant!Reader AU! :)

“Woah there, Sunshine! Are you okay?” 

Sun hovered above you as his golden rays spun.

A mumble escapes you in response, but it's incoherent. Your troubles finally weighed down on you, causing you to zone out and trip over some toys strewn about by the last group of kids. He urged again, now kneeling beside you. 

“I couldn't catch that, sorry — What’s wrong?”

You saw past him and blankly stared at the net ceiling above.

Memories of the previous day flickered through. You had finished the paperwork for the night after signing out the last child and sifted through emails. While Sun had finished cleaning earlier than usual. The Daycare filled with your stifled giggles and his hushed whispers. He blabbed about the crafts, kids' antics, and new ideas for activities he wanted to try. You smiled, listening and cherishing the way Sun got lost in his own excitement. The both of you leaned on the office desk into one another, there was space enough just for you to breathe.

He looked over and asked the same old “check-up” questions — hoping your day went well too. You began to fidget with your fingers, any answers that came out seemed almost restrained. Sun doesn’t let this go ignored.

“Is something wrong, friend? You don’t have to talk about it, if you aren’t comfortable.”

You rehearsed this exact scenario a hundred times over. Even mulled over execution details in case of every impossible outcome you could muster in your head. And yet, the words failed. You couldn’t help but look down at your feet instead, focusing intensely on the frayed edges of well-loved sneakers. All methodical script you carefully strewn together now blurred and became illegible in your memory.

“I… I think I love you.”

You tensed and held your breath. Just out of your view, his rays spun rapidly, with the sounds of fans whirring a bit louder than usual. Sun was struggling to calm down as evidenced by the distinct metal scraping on metal sound. His optics narrowed as he suppressed the nameless feeling. For you, there was only the drumming of your fingers tapping without cadence against the desk. The unpredictable rhythm consumed your thoughts.

“Ah.” 

You inwardly swore when the pang of hurt threatened. Had you been mistaken about this all along?

“… That’s what's wrong,” you finished with a faint tone of defeat.

He reached out to comfort you but dropped his hand with a soft jingle of bells before there was any contact. His rays recoiled inward as he felt conflicted. Instead, something else croaked out from his voice box.

“It'll pass.” 

Sun winced at the words that slipped out. Your breath hitched as your eyes shut in regret. An imaginary guillotine rang out as any lingering hope vanished. Fuck.

“I’msosorry-”

You adjusted yourself, gathered your belongings, and rushed to the time clock. Anything to get away. He said nothing in your scramble, only weakly waving as your form slipped behind tall mahogany doors. 

You snapped out of your daze with familiar bells chiming in and rustling next to you. You were still pitifully laid out on the floor. Only now, Sun was looming overhead and staring directly down at you. You broke eye contact immediately, jerking your head to the side where a first aid kit came into view.

“I can tell you're distressed, but I detect nothing wrong with you.” 

“You scanned me?” Your eyebrows pinched together in annoyance.

“It's protocol‐” 

“You won't find anything.” Nothing obvious, at least. 

“Could you just tell me where it hurts?” Sun huffed. He held out a starry-themed band-aid and waved it in the air.

Fine. Reluctantly, you raised a hand and pointed. 

“Here. It hurts here.” 

His eyes widened before looking away guiltily. That was your heart. Now both of you couldn’t bare to look at each other.

“I… I can't fix that.” No one could, and you both knew this. 

There was pressure on your other hand, then a quick release. In your other palm, sat the band-aid he was holding. Sun had slunk off somewhere, leaving you alone. With him gone, the stinging pain returned and seared the corners of your eyes. The tears slipped past and pooled just behind your ears.

You crumpled the band-aid in your hand and quickly brought your balled fists over your eyes. It was a pathetic attempt to hide it. Not that it mattered. Choked-back sobs rattled your aching chest, with nothing but the miserable silence to pair it.

[silky-nereid]

— favorites

yandere!fan x celebrity!reader/you

Yandere! Fan whose obsession started long before you became even more famous and adored the small plays that you performed with others for the town.

Yandere! Fan who always felt that you were always speaking to them because you looked at them from the crowd; you chose them not anyone else.

Yandere! Fan who sneaks in and somehow goes unnoticed and always leaves your favorite flowers, snacks or drinks in your dressing room when you’re on stage performing.

Their eyes watched you turn and smile while the spotlight burned into your skin and the exhaustion that was engraved into your face underneath the theater make-up. Watching you hold hands with your castmates and bow before leaving the stage.

Their hands unfolded and folded the playbill, their eyes noticed the well dressed man who you were talking to while holding a bouquet mixture of your roses and baby’s breath; they would’ve your favorite flower. Seeing your smile widen and immediately going to your friend cast member to excitedly tell them new information.

Yandere! Fan who notices you gone from the town and worries because they haven’t seen you in your scheduled routine that they know like the back of their hand and they smile, seeing a movie poster with you.

Yandere! Fan who wastes all their money to buy every single one of your merchandise and if you are apart of a group, they will not hesitate to cut away the other members in the merchandise just to have only you because you were more important than the others.

Yandere! Fan who always updates themselves on your favorite things and will send gift baskets that are specifically designed for your liking which they will use a fake name like a co-star’s or a very close friend or an imaginary friend that you had.

Your smile widened with joy, taking the gift basket and heart fluttered with joy; a wonderful birthday gift. Your hands flipped open to see who gifted you the wonderful gift and the smile chipped away.

Trembling hands that grabbed the ringing phone and the ground underneath your feet felt crumbling with each self-soothing step.

“I-I did enjoy the gift.” You nervously rubbed the back of your neck. “Thank you for supporting me.”

Yandere! Fan who notices the sudden bodyguards that surrounded you and how you looked with the etch of worry with each glance at the cameras of paparazzi.

Yandere! Fan who notices your sudden downward spiral and begrudgingly buys the gossip magazines that involve you accidentally falling into the hands of those who seemingly caused more damage to your already ruined self.

Yandere! Fan who finally manages to weasel themselves into your actual life rather than slipping into the familiar sidelines. They first became a close acquaintance of your friend and slowly put themselves into your hands.

Their smile shrunk immensely, seeing the mess that surrounded every area of your now luxurious home. Designer clothes still with the tags on the floor or hanging off of the railing of a short-lived staircase.

You nestled in your bed, blankets acted like a shield from a world that left invisible scars on your flesh. Warm hands that cracked open the safety net of the warm blankets, a familiar face stared back; a great friend, right?

[stagkingswife]

What some godspousal truths that beginners should know in this field? What would you told younger self about this? I am getting into this, only started (just interested in Deity romantically, and, I think, He is as well), and really confused about this, so any wisdom of someone, who is more experienced in it would be helpful.

Hehe,  well the first thing I would tell someone romantically interested in an incorporeal entity is to get comfortable with the fact that there are no Truth.  I have yet to find anything that is universally true in godspousing, in spirit work, in paganism, in witchcraft - everything depends on the paradigm, the individual practitioner, and the context.  What is true for me and my relationship is not likely to be true for anyone else.  But just general advice?  That I can offer some of.  Here’s what I have off the top of my head.  

Early on it might seem like the stakes are incredibly high, and everything is incredibly dramatic - this is a romantic relationship with a spirit we’re talking about, it sounds like something out of a fantasy novel.  It’s natural to want to devote all of your attention to this entity and your relationship with them, but you can’t, that’s not sustainable long term.  Remember that you aren’t the protag of a romantasy book, but are in fact a real person with a real person life, and do your best to find the balance of mundane life and spiritual relationship that works for you.  Take it slow and be patient, you won’t figure out that balance right away, it could take years.  

You’re embarking on a path defined by a relationship. You need to remember that, and treat that relationship like a relationship.  There are a million different relationship styles, but all of them take (at least) two to tango.  Both you and your spirit spouse are active participants, so that means both need to have agency in the relationship - you can’t treat your spirit spouse like an imaginary friend that you can marionette around, but it also means that they don’t get to have all of the control due to the natural power imbalance of them being a spirit/god.  Figure out your personal relationship dynamic, but make sure you BOTH are comfortable and fulfilled by it. (Adjust the language as necessary to accommodate multiple partners, this still applies if you have a relationship with more than one entity.)

Be prepared for your relationship to change.  If you’re in this for the long haul your relationship will not stay static.  What seems dramatic and thrilling now will eventually settle down.  Just like a relationship with a human the butterflies calm down and the honeymoon phase passes.  That doesn’t mean that the love has died, just that it has changed. In my opinion this is the growth of infatuation into a love that can actually last a lifetime or more.

If you have specific questions please feel free to come back to me with them.  I’m happy to answer what I can, but with a net cast this wide it’s hard to say if I covered anything you were actually looking for. 

[euphreana]

The Shape of Truth - Chapter 12: Slay Something

Masterpost

-

“Can you hear me, Ambrosius?” The Director called.

Somewhere in his mental fog, Ambrosius tried to snap to attention.

“Yes Director!” he responded.

“What’s wrong? Are you having another episode?”

Ambrosius took a deep breath, trying to focus. He was behind a desk in a waiting room. Nimona had gotten him here. At least, she’d gotten him here in his head. He knew Nimona wasn’t real, so if this wasn’t completely a dream, he must have hallucinated the morning’s events, in whole or in part. And apparently he’d escaped the psych ward in the process.

The Director’s voice came from around the far corner of the room.

“Put down the weapon and come out. No one’s going to hurt you.”

Ambrosius’s grip on the small crossbow tightened. Was The Director’s voice real? Or was it his brain playing tricks on him again? Everything around him had felt real, but so had his past day with Nimona, and that had been fake.

He looked down at Nimona next to him, still wrapped in electrified netting. She was still in a half-formed, dog-like state, twitching on the floor. He wanted her to be real. He wanted that more than anything. She was his link to a world where Ballister was innocent. Given the option, he’d choose it over cruel reality. If only…

“I want to get out of here.” He called over top of the desk. “Let me leave with Nimona. I won’t make any accusations. Just leave me alone.”

“Nimona? Your imaginary pink friend?” The Director replied, “Ambrosius, you have responsibilities to The Kingdom. You can’t be off playing make-believe with an imaginary monster!”

“She isn’t a monster!” Ambrosius had a knee-jerk reaction to the word.

“She’s consumed your mind - she’s a threat to who you are meant to be. If that isn’t a monster, what is?”

Ambrosius shuddered as he realized The Director was right.

Nimona, still twitching, looked up at Ambrosius with her single eye.

“dOn’t LiSten tO heR…” her voice came out guttural, almost like a growl.

The Director continued.

“Let it go, Ambrosius. Kill it if you have to. Think of your family - it’s what your father would have wanted.”

Ambrosius shut his eyes as a torrent of guilt washed over him. He’d avoided this topic in his therapy sessions for a reason. His father would have wanted a lot of things - things Ambrosius had failed at all his life. Expected to excel in classes? Ballister had been better than him. Expected to marry some blond-haired, blue-eyed woman? He’d fallen in love with a black-haired, dark-skinned man. The only expectation he’d ever actually succeeded at was keeping his hair bleached since childhood, and even that wasn’t by his own doing.

The Director’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Kill the monster, Ambrosius. You were meant to be a hero, not a lunatic.”

Ambrosius couldn’t think. He could feel the disappointment weighing on him. So many failures. It didn’t matter how hard he tried. It just happened, piling on year after year. Now here he was, completely snapped. Withdrawing into his world with Nimona wouldn’t fix things. He wanted to be better. He didn’t want to keep failing. He needed to end this madness.

He looked at the crossbow in his hands. It was a knight’s weapon, and since he was a knight…

The electrified netting keeping Nimona down was only pulsing lightly now, but she was still too weakened to tear it off. The tip of the crossbow pressed against the side of her skull. Her single eye widened as she looked up at Ambrosius.

“nO…” she whispered, tears welling up in her eye. “pLease don’t be liKe thiS…”

Ambrosius closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to do this. He wanted this hallucination to be over. He wanted to go home and take his meds and pretend this mess had never happened. He was good at pretending. Too good…

The sound of the crossbow going off resonated from behind the desk.

“It’s done.” Ambrosius called, voice heavy.

The Director was smiling now.

“Very good. Now place the crossbow on the desk and step away from it.”

Ambrosius stood on wobbly legs. He set the crossbow on the desk. The Director stepped around the corner.

“Come to me, child of Gloreth.” She said warmly, holding a hand out to him.

Ambrosius stumbled forward. The moment he took The Director’s hand, knights swarmed out from around the corner, charging past him, crossbows at the ready. Ambrosius glanced back to see them carefully surrounding the desk he’d hidden behind. Strange…

The Director pulled his hand to lead him away.

“Don’t mind them.”

A knight’s voice broke in.

“It’s gone!”

What was gone? The crossbow was still on the desk.

Another knight spoke.

“Seal off the area! We can’t let it get away!”

What were they talking about? It was almost as if…

The Director interrupted his thoughts.

“You’re seeing things again, Ambrosius. Come. Let’s get you help.”

Something in the back of Ambrosius’s head started going off. Hadn’t the Director acknowledged the knights’ existence a moment ago when she’d told him to ignore them?

Just then, the sound of wood splintering filled the room as something pink exploded from the desk, shattering it to pieces. Knights were knocked to the ground or flung against the walls as an enormous eel grew to fill the room,

The Director tugged on Ambrosius’s hand, trying to pull him away. Ambrosius wondered why she was in a hurry. It wasn’t like she could see his hallucinations...

The pink eel let off a burst of electricity, zapping the knights it had pinned down.

“How do you like them apples?!” Nimona grinned.

She turned to the solid window at the side of the room and rammed her head against it. The glass shattered. Ambrosius smiled. As he’d hoped when he’d fired the crossbow into the floor behind the desk, Nimona had recovered from the net and was free, even if it all was just in his head. No one needed to know his imaginary friend was alive.

He turned back to The Director. She was looking past him, terrified. Ambrosius turned to see what she could possibly be looking at. The only thing there was Nimona…

Nimona shrank back down to a human and hurried to the gaping hole in the wall.

“Come on!” she gestured to Ambrosius.

The Director’s grip on his hand tightened.

“Ignore her.”

Ambrosius blinked.

“Ignore… who?” He looked from The Director to Nimona and back again. They were definitely looking at each other. “Can you see her?”

“No.” The Director said flatly, trying to keep the edge out of her voice.

That was an obvious lie. Ambrosius loosened his grip on The Director’s clinging hand. Either he was flat-out dreaming - and no one needed to know what happened in his dreams - or Nimona was really there. And it didn’t matter which was true, he knew what he wanted.

He yanked his hand from The Director’s grip and made a stumbling dash towards Nimona. Nimona grabbed his hand and they both hurtled through the window, shards of glass slicing at them as they pushed through. Leathery wings sprouted from Nimona’s back as they went into freefall. She grabbed Ambrosius before going into a dive, gathering speed before shooting off between buildings, leaving the hospital far behind.

The Director stood in the gaping hole in the hospital wall, watching the duo disappear from sight. She turned to the knights sprawled around the room who were just beginning to recover themselves.

“Find them.” The Director said bitterly. “Nobody rests until they’re found and that monster is slain!”

Next

[amoryeonjun]

Can't Hide it

"I think I'm in love."

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x gn!reader

wordcount: 1.9k

genre: fluff

warnings: just Yeonjun falling to the ground but no injuries 😭

author's note: my friends and I decided to do secret santa fics and I was very grateful to get my wife aka @junniieesbby I hope you enjoy this!! This blurb was inspired by Can't Hide it by 15&, a song about being in love with someone. This is my first time writing in a decade so apologies if it's not good 🙏 I really just care about my wife's and my other secret santa particpants' opinions on it <333 anyways ENJOYY

the lovely participants: @flwrseon @boba-beom @honajoong

It’s currently 9pm.

Usually at that time, you would be in bed, face mask on and scrolling through the many tiktoks that Yeonjun has sent you. Most of it being clips of two cats cuddling with a message saying “us <333”. No matter how many similar tiktoks he may send, they always put a smile on your face. This is usually your form of communication whenever he’s doing overnight dance practices.

Tonight, however, your boyfriend of 3 months had dance practice early just so he can stay the night at your place. You’re both on the couch watching reruns of Supernatural, his head on your shoulder. As soon as you were going to get up and get ready for bed, Yeonjun grabs your hand. “Love, why don’t we go to the park and play some badminton?”

You widened your eyes. “Right now? It’s already pitch black outside.” As fun as playing with your boyfriend in the park sounds, you can’t understand why he would want to do it now.

Yeonjun starts doing his famous pout, the one that you can’t resist kissing it away. “Are you saying you don’t want to play a match with me?” He says jokingly.

You chuckle. “It’s not that, but don’t you think it’s too late for it?”

He continues pouting, even giving you an innocent look with his eyes. You almost think he knows you’re going to give in eventually. “Yeah, but...” he stops, before looking away. He’s nervous about what he wants to say next.

“Tour is coming up soon, and it’s difficult getting any type of free time. I just want to spend it having fun with you.”

You’re a little grateful that he turned away because your cheeks feel warm, butterflies in your stomach growing rapidly. You press your lips together as hard as you can to stop blushing. Throughout your 3 months of dating Yeonjun, you’ve felt your likeness towards him growing, to the point where it has now formed into love. It freaks you out a little, feeling so much love for someone in a small amount of time. It always comes up on moments like these, where he tells you how he enjoys being with you. You think your heart might explode if he continues to do it. You get scared at the thought of saying it to him, not knowing if he feels the same way.

He looks at you again but with an exaggerated pout, making you laugh. “Can we please play badminton?” He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly while repeating “please” repeatedly.

“How can I say no to you?”

The park feels tranquil at night. There’s a full moon out, as well as a slight breeze passing through the trees. There’s only a couple of people there tonight, most of them sitting by the lake, which gives you and Yeonjun a big field all for yourselves to play on. You two didn’t own professional badminton racquets, just these cute blue ones with penguins around it. You remember Yeonjun pouting when you chose it over the racquets with the foxes on it, jokingly claiming that you love his band member more than him. Oh, how wrong he was.

Yeonjun sets an extra racquet down in the middle, acting as an imaginary net. “I say first to get 15 points wins and the loser has to give the winner something.”

You bring your finger to your chin, fake pondering. “Hmm, well if I win, and I will, you have to bring me back a souvenir from the tour.”

He giggles. “And if I win, and I  will..” he says, mocking your tone. He thinks for a bit before answering, “You have to give me a key to your place.”

You’re almost taken aback. A key to your place? A huge part of you thinks he’s being serious, that he wants to take this relationship to another level. The tiniest part of you thinks he’s just making a harmless joke.

Yeonjun notices your silence and clears his throat. “Sorry if that was too much, I just-“

“No, no, it’s not too much at all. But may I ask why?”

“Well, as much as I like hanging out in the dorm with the guys, your place feels like a second home. I enjoy just lying beside you, whether on the couch or in bed. I enjoy deciding what to cook and playing board games afterwards. I also want to be that cheesy boyfriend that says ‘Honey, I’m home’ when he opens the door.” He chuckles as he scratches the back of his head nervously.

You feel your cheeks turning red and the corner of your lips raising. You look away so he doesn’t see you smiling like a fool. The wind blowing on your face helps to relieve some of the shyness. However, you think Yeonjun saw you blushing, because he’s staring at you with a big smile before biting his lower lip.

“Alright, If I win, you get me a souvenir and if you win, you get a spare key. Deal?” You hold your hand out for him to shake.

He takes your hand and shakes it before bringing it up to his lips and leaving the faintest kiss. “It’s a deal, honey.”

The first part of the game starts with him scoring the first few points, jumping around, and making silly gestures whenever you miss the shuttlecock. It makes you roll your eyes and laugh at his antics. As much as you don’t mind giving him a spare key, the competitiveness in you wants to win so badly. Just when he had the upper hand, the universe decided to give you a comeback. You end up scoring more than him. Now it was Yeonjun who was losing, and you who was making the silly gestures after scoring a point. Yeonjun would just look at you with a pout and mumble that he’ll “get you next time”. You thought it was cute seeing him like this, and it led to you thinking about how you’ll be able to see his pout more often once he has his own keys to your place. Well, that’s if you lose the match, and you won’t let that happen.

Yeonjun, who noticed you were close to spacing out, saw this as an opportunity to hit the shuttlecock towards you. It took you a while to process it flying towards you until it landed on your shoes. You looked at him in shocked while he was cheering. “Hey, that doesn’t count, I wasn’t paying attention.”

He playfully sticks his tongue out at you. “ That’s not my fault. I get the point fair and square.”

You cross your arms and jokingly look away in annoyance, if he wants to play that game, so can you. Yeonjun giggles before walking towards you with his arms out for a hug. “Aww baby, you know I’m just playin-“.

You hit the shuttlecock towards him. Luckily for him, he sees it in time, however, he miscalculates how far it’s going. Yeonjun lunges his body towards it, but he lands on the grass just before the shuttlecock lands next to racquet. You can’t help but laugh while walking towards him. “You’re taking this game more seriously than I am.”

He chuckles before getting back up, dusting away dirt from his shirt. “For a chance to visit you whenever I can? I’m going to treat it like its life or death.” There he goes again, making you blush with his words. It’s getting difficult trying to move your face away, so he doesn’t see you  with rosy cheeks and biting back a smile. He giggles looking at your flushed expression. “It looks like you wouldn’t mind it either.” He says before kissing you. If you thought you were red before, your face must have turned scarlet now. You both pull away, faces still close to each other. His arms around your waist while your hands are on the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. Out of the corner of your eyes, you see an old couple walking by and looking at you. They’re smiling and whispering to each other. You wonder if they saw how hard you blushed over your boyfriend. You wonder if they could see just how in love you are.

Yeonjun kisses your forehead, stopping your reeling thoughts. “You might as well forfeit and give me the keys” he says jokingly.

You playfully push him away. “This doesn’t mean I’m going to let you win. I’m still fighting for that souvenir!” You say as you go back to your spot.

Yeonjun hits the shuttlecock, and you successfully hit it back to him. It looks like neither of you were giving up, as you guys started to have a rally with it. Yeonjun hits it with his racquet at an angle, making the shuttlecock fall closer to the ground. You tried to run and hit, but it’s on the grass before you arrive to it.

This is how it’s like for the next few rounds. It almost feels like the universe went back to being on Yeonjun’s side. However, you were able to make enough points to catch up to him, and now both of you were one point away from winning. It’s your turn to hit the shuttlecock towards him. Yeonjun had his eyes on your racquet, waiting to see which angle it would come from. Once you hit it, he immediately throws it back to you. He does it high enough that it goes over your head. You quickly turn around to run for the shuttlecock. Luckily, you were able to hit it towards him.

Once he sees it, he smirks. He hits it pointing downward. You try to run towards it, but it falls to the ground immediately. This is where you realize he purposefully threw the last one high so you would have to move back, meaning he can throw the next one closer to the ground without you catching up to him. You bite your tongue, a little upset that you lost but impressed at his last shot.

Yeonjun brings his arms up and cheers, as if he just won a championship. He starts doing a victory lap around you, making you giggle at his antics. “Okay, I admit defeat.”

He walks towards you, putting his hands on your waist to pull you in for a hug. “I was still going to get you a souvenir, no matter what. This win did boost my ego, though” he says before you playfully push him away, both laughing.

Yeonjun bends down to pick up your equipment while babbling about all the things he can do now that he’s going to own a spare key. “I can wake you up with breakfast since I always wake up first, I can buy you flowers so you can add it to your vases. I saw this tiktok of a couple making a pillow fort in their living room. You don’t have enough pillows, but we can always shop for some before I leave.”

You stand beside him, listening to everything he says. Your smile grows bigger the more he continues. I think I’m in love; you voice in your head.

…Or that’s what you thought. Once you see him stand up to look at you, you realize that you didn’t just think it, you flat out said it. Before you can say anything, Yeonjun grabs your cheeks and pulls you in for a kiss. He pulls away with a smile, foreheads still touching.

I think I’m in love too.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Hi, if you're still making req, I got some ideas

Mermaid Bal, human ambro but childhood friends fluff or little mermaid au

Fairy Bal and Hunter Ambro

Hi hi! This is the last super old one I've got to do! I chose mermaid childhood fluff. If you want a less fluffy, more lore-angsty mermaid au, I filled a different request that can be found here. This one however is just short and sweet childhood fluff!!

--

Ambrosius loved when his parents took him to their beach house, because that's when he got to visit his best friend.

He'd tried to tell them, of course. He'd tried to tell them about the boy with the black fish tail, who he'd found when exploring the grotto, caught in a fishing net. How he'd cut the net with his pocket knife, and the boy looked at him, so wary and hesitant, but with such gratitude in his eyes. How when he opened his mouth to speak, it sounded garbled and impossible, until the boy slipped back into the water, and spoke with a voice that carried through the surface as clear as the sparkling water itself.

His parents didn't believe him, they told him he was getting a bit too old for imaginary friends. No matter. They didn't need to believe him.

They supervised him when he played on the beach in the day, of course, but when night fell, he laid awake in bed until they were sound asleep, put on his swimsuit, and sneaked away to the moonlit water.

Careful not to slip, he crept along an outcropping of rocks until he was out further into the ocean, where the water was deeper than the shores. The merchild was always wary to come too far out of the tide.

Ambrosius crept down and called quietly. “Bal! I'm here! Wanna play?”

The surface of the water broke to reveal the dark face of a child, starlight glittering on his scaly skin, his dark hair slicked down. He chittered and reached out a hand. Ambrosius grinned and grabbed it, before being pulled onto the merchild’s back. Bal's face dipped below the water. “It's good to see you again, Ambrosius. I'm happy you came back. I heard you playing today, but there were too many people.

Ambrosius smiled. “That's okay! We can play together now.” He liked to ride on Ballister's back, while he rocketed through the sea at the surface of the water. He could swim faster than any surfboard.

Ballister chuckled. “Do you want to see the new coral reefs? They're a mile or so south of here. They should be shallow enough that you can stand.”

Ambrosius grinned. “Yes! Let's go!”

Ballister craned his neck to smile up at his friend, gills flaring softly, and with a swish of his beautiful tail, the two friends took off into the sea.

[questforrp]

꧁༺ 𝓗𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸 𝓐𝓵𝓵 ༻꧂

This is my RP masterpost!!

꧁༺ ---------------------------------------------- ༻꧂

If you're interested in starting an rp with me, please read this!

꧁༺ ｓｏｍｅ ｔｈｉｎｇｓ ａｂｏｕｔ ｍｅ ༻꧂

I'm 25 years old and prefer to only RP with adults

I live in the U.S. on EST

I only use Discord to RP

I write lit/novel style only

I only RP MLM and CC x CC (I'll experiment with OCs some day!)

I work a 9am-5pm job so I wont always be active unfortunately

I don't necessarily have a word requirement, I just hope you'll be able to make short responses engaging as well!

꧁༺ｗｈｏ Ｉｍ ｌｏｏｋｉｎｇ ｆｏｒ༻꧂

Someone who writes in third person and preferably in past tense

Someone who writes lit/novel style

Someone who writes as close to their character's cannon personality

Someone who is comfortable exploring themes that may be triggering in a manor that isn't fetishizing. (I'm truly not looking for dead dove, my apologies)

Someone who is comfortable with engaging in writing sex scenes

Someone who is preferably 21+ but I will settle for 18+

꧁༺ｆａｎｄｏｍｓ༻꧂

(and ships) " characters in green and bolded are characters I'd prefer to write as " " ships with a red star * are ships I'm very excited to RP "

Naruto

Shikamaru x Neji (bottom Neji)

Shikamaru x Naruto (bottom Shikamaru) *******

Attack On Titan

Eren x Armin (bottom Armin)

Eren x Reiner (bottom Reiner)

Levi x Erwin (bottom Levi) ***************

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Sokka x Zuko (bottom Zuko) **

Haikyuu

Sakusa x Atsumu (no preference) ****

Kageyama x Suga (bottom Suga)

Hunter x Hunter

Leorio x Kurapika (bottom Kurapika)

Jujutsu Kaisen

Satoru x Suguru (switch/bottom Suguru) **********

꧁༺ｆａｖｏｒｅｄ ｔｒｏｐｅｓ༻꧂

" tropes with a red star * are tropes I'm very excited to RP "

Omegaverse/mpreg ***************************

arranged marriage ****

modern AUs *************

single father

coming of age

canon divergent

royalty

꧁༺ｗｒｉｔｉｎｇ ｓａｍｐｌｅｓ༻꧂

1 The acrid smell of isopropyl alcohol singes the inside of Leorio’s nose. Pietro doesn’t stay still long enough for him to clean the ulcers that have opened on the undersides of his arm- shivering with imaginary chills amidst the summer heat that blankets New York City. He’s rewet the old rag that sits on his forehead below the fringe that’s started to mat together but it offers no help to the burning boy. At some point, he loses the ability to designate who’s shaking. Him, or Pietro. It’s when Pietro gives another chest-rattling cough that Leorio lets himself accept the fact that his friend is going to die. Despite the coins he scraped together to get the supplies needed to tend to his friend, despite the begging for rich women’s handkerchiefs, despite his efforts- Pietro is going to die.

2 “Oi, get back on the court and stop canoodling with Shimizu-san.” A looming voice says from the court and Suga narrows his gaze on Daichi.“If anyone canoodles with Kiyoko-san, it's me.” Tanaka declares, thumb pressed to his puffed out chest.“What’s ‘canoodle’ mean?” Hinata questions from the net.“Canned soup.” Kageyama says and Hinata nods, content.From the corner of his eye, he sees Tsukishima place his face into his palm and wants to follow in suit. 

3 Sokka never would’ve guessed that when he started college, he would soon get very aquatinted with his dorm room’s floor. The cheap stick-on tile placed diagonally with those yellow and red squares peppered throughout them. Sometimes, he was on his hands and knees feeling around under his twin bed for his headphones that always somehow managed to end up in the farthest, dustiest corner. Sometimes he was kicking empty beer cans to that same corner while the floor’s absolutely nuts RA dropped in for her umpteenth hygiene check. But lately, he was with Zuko. Zuko was fictional. He had to be. Or at least that’s what he thought when his roommate first unlocked their door and paused in the doorway when they’d met for the first time. There was no way in hell that it was even remotely fair to Zuko to look the way he did– even with a gnarly burn wound blooming across the left of his face– wisps of dark hair curling where it met the collar of his shirt. He was the embodiment of every tortured, panty dropper, heartthrob he’d ever read about in his ex-girlfriend’s books (although Suki claimed to never know where they came from) and at that moment, Sokka felt as if his body had plummeted through the earth’s core and was shooting out the ass-end of the planet and somewhere into the stratosphere because holy shit he’s never seen a guy more attractive in his life.

[angelo-the-doctor-of-feelings]

Hey Mikey! Sorry to bother you, but I need to get something off my chest. It may sound stupid, but I was genuinely crying about this. I made the decision to say bye to my imaginary friends. It was sad because they helped me throughout elementary school because I had no friends and they stuck with me throughout the 7 years. I made the decision because I wanted to start new since I’m starting high school. I miss them a lot, and I need some comfort. (Still crying a bit)

You are NEVER a bother @skullivan-the-dawg 🧡

I can imagine that saying goodbye to them was hard & it's okay to grieve. Mourn as long as you need to. Eventually, you'll feel better! 🧡

Do you know the movie Inside Out? That scene when Riley had to leave her imaginary friend to forget? I cry every time I see it.

There will be people who shake their heads in disbelief, but letting go of imaginary friends is hard.

Your pain is valid.

Do you know what's great? You made it through seven years of school! A new chapter begins! And while it may be scary, I am positive you can do it too!

Maybe your imaginary friends are off to help others in need?

Feel hugged! 🧡

[the-hearteater]

Kindred Spirit (Rollo Flamme x Reader)

The Rollo propaganda worked on me. This fic is heavily inspired by @linawritestwst 's Rollo x Reader who is scared of magic, which you can find here:

TW: PTSD flashbacks, panic attacks (?), self deprecating, mentions of Chapter 6

.

.

You look at the crowd of smiling faces, joyful chatter fills the air as festive music plays in the background.

But for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to get drunk on the happy occasion too. You feel abnormally tired, as if an imaginary weight has settled its home on your shoulders. Truthfully, you’ve been feeling fatigued for the past months, biting your tongue and forcing yourself to go through life because who else will make Grim attend his class?

Really, someone should award you an oscar. This mask of yours has been ingrained through memory, the false pretence of everything is fine.

Weirdly enough, said mask has been slowly cracking. The proof lies in your inability to enjoy the festival. To be fair, you did help in saving six individuals from their own overblot. Not a surprise, the alternative is death after all.

You didn’t ask for this.

You spend your nights crying in silence, grieving for your old life of familiarity. You were unjustly torn away from your routine, harshly shoving you into the arms of a stranger. Forced to adapt and survive, your mind pushes the events that occurred and focused on survival.

Once upon a time, you were intrigued by the concept of magic, but now you know better than to trust it. It’s volatile and it plays by its own rules, unpredictable and unstable. It is like walking on a tightrope with no safety net. Better to depend on your two hands, knowing what to expect and the worst-case scenarios that accompany it.

Standing at a distance, your friends (is it right to call them friends when they were the very ones that also hurt you?) laugh with the crowd, sparks shooting out of their pens. You really should wear a smile, it would be suspicious to see a frown on such an occasion.

The sea of stalls and people blended together, your stomach churning as the grape juice you drank felt more like overdue milk. Colours swirl in your sight as they blurred together, your brain foolishly wonders if someone is trying to split your skull open.

“Are you alright?”

Someone holds your hand, stabilising your swaying body. Their voice is rather familiar…

“Sorry, I was feeling rather nauseous,” you muttered, your free hand holding your heavy head. “Thank you, I think I am better now.”

A poorly crafted lie, you are definitely in no condition to act as carefree as your friends.

“Are you sure? You look rather pale.”

Your vision managed to clear up, revealing your saviour to be the student council’s president of the residential college, Rollo Flamme.

“I am fine, thank you for your help, Rollo.” You repeated, hoping he will leave you alone and be on his way.

“I apologise for being curt, but it’s not good to lie, (Y/n). You clearly do not seem to be in a good condition to stroll about the city,” Rollo politely replied. “Do you need to see a nurse?”

I wish it was that easy to cure me, you thought.

“I am probably worn out from all the walking I had to do, don’t worry about me!” your attempt at a lighthearted reply comes off more as weary.

“If you allow me, let me support you lest you fall or faint,” Rollo said. Was that a hint of concern? Or is it just him being responsible? For now, you considered it as the latter. Nobody should be worried about someone they will never meet again after all.

Not wanting to fall flat on your face, you accepted his offer. Holding his shoulder, both of you approached your schoolmates. Shooting off fireworks, the sounds of explosions erupted from their pens.

You are suddenly transported back into the underground of S.T.Y.X

Headquarters, where danger lurks in every corner. You need to help with the thunder spear too! Everyone is fighting Idia and you can’t help because you don’t have magic.

You can’t do anything.

You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can't do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything. You can’t do anything Youcantdoanything.Youcantdoanything.Youcan’tdoanythingyoucan’tdoanythingyoucan’tdoanythingYoucan’tdoanythingyoucan’tdoanythingyoucan’tdoanythingyoucantdoanythingyoucantdoanythingyoucantdoanything-

“(Y/n)!” Rollo’s voice pierced through the world, releasing you from your torture. You find yourself taking in rapid short breaths and your body trembling. Your eyes are hot from tears as you distantly hear Rollo telling you to match his breathing.

When you calm down from your panic, what’s left is shame. The shame of being a mess when you should be put together. A fraud.

A sea of sorrys flood your lips, hoping that if you say enough, he will forget your act. You direct your hate inwards, despising your mask for shattering when it should be glued tightly onto your face.

“Don’t apologise anymore, you will make me feel sad too…” Rollo wipes away your tears gently, worry in his eyes. His actions feel like a routine, as if he had comforted people before. How could he, someone that you hardly know, treat you like he understood your pain?

“It’s alright, nobody is dying,” he assures you, pulling you into a hug. “You’re in the City of Flowers, you are somewhere safe.”

You accepted the hug before breaking into tears again from the kindness of the action.

“I know grief when I see it…” he whispers. Maybe he thought you won’t hear it, but you did. You don’t pry for it is not your place to know.

You finally take in your surroundings, you two seemed to be in a quiet corner of the festival.

Nobody you know, that’s good.

“Maybe it is better if you seek medical help, or at the very least return to your living quarters. You are clearly not in the state to be out here.” Rollo calmly said, softness still evident in his tone.

“I am alright, I am only here for three days. I can’t just let this affect me.” You try to brush it off, not wanting your schoolmates to know of your condition.

The white-haired man looks at you, uncertainty in his eyes. “Very well, then let me escort you,” he stands up and offers you his hand, which you accept.

“Can you please not tell this to the others? I don’t want them to worry for me.” You said as the two of you made your way to your friends.

“I won’t, worry not. It is not my place after all,” Rollo replied. “But, if you will, would you be interested in hearing my personal opinion?”

You nod.

“I think your friends are fools for not noticing your pain.” He said.

This surprises you. You were definitely not expecting that answer. “You mean I need therapy?” you joke. It was not uncommon that a lot of people from your old life needed therapy.

“What I meant was that you have been through a lot. Even though I do not know what you experienced, I see fatigue in your eyes, the one that doesn’t go away through rest-” Rollo looked like he realised something. “Apologies, I spoke out of turn.”

“It is fine. I was the one who agreed on hearing your opinion anyway.”

The two of you were finally with your friends. You stood beside Malleus, smiling at the rowdy group. Is it a fake one or not, you don’t know. You’re too tired to care.

You hear Rollo advising Malleus to not simply use their magic, lest they hurt someone. You can’t help but to agree with this statement, but you choose not to voice it. After all, you are a friend of the future King of Briar Valley. You don’t want to piss Malleus off, not to mention that the rest of your friend group consists of magic users that use it daily in their lives.

You went up to Professor Trein, informing him that you will be sitting at a quiet corner of the street because you were tired. He hums in approval and you leave the respectable teacher.

You weren’t surprised to find Rollo joining you on the bench. After what happened, it would be natural to worry about someone that’s not in a stable condition, right?

“Thank you for helping me,” You sincerely said. “I am grateful for what you’ve done. I am feeling a lot better now, so you don’t need to worry about me.”

“It’s not a problem, it is my duty as the President anyway. I would not be a good host if one of the guests is not taken care of.”

Oh, he thought of you only as a guest. Despite the special treatment he gave you? You thought.

“Do you think that magic is a dangerous thing?”

You pretend to ponder upon this question despite knowing what your answer is, you just can’t bring yourself to say it out.

You open your mouth to speak, but no words fall out. You know what you want to say, yet you physically can’t. You don’t want to lie to yourself either, because the very fact that you are here in this world against your will is proof that you despise the thing.

You think back to what you’ve gone through the past few months. The near-death experiences, the unbearable name-calling that was normalised, the unreasonable demands from Crow-fucking-ley. The more you think, the more your blood boils, giving you the courage (or adrenaline?) to answer.

“I… I used to think it would be wonderful… But now? I have nothing but anger for the damned thing…” you don’t tell him your truth, you don’t feel that safe yet. Maybe in the future, who knows?

Your answer seemed to surprise him, perhaps he too was a kindred spirit?

He looks at his handkerchief, staring at it as if he had something to confess before letting out a sigh. Then, he tells you of a plan. A plan big enough to suck the wretched thing from this world, a plan to make everyone safer.

At first, you were unsure. You still care for your friends after all, you don’t want them to get hurt. Rollo assures you that it won’t harm your friends, it will only take away their magic.

The more you think about it, you realised that it was a good plan, it won’t gravely injure anyone. Sure they will feel tired and maybe a bit of pain, but it's for the greater good like what Rollo said! Nobody will overblot or be seriously injured from magic because there won’t be magic anymore!

You nod your head, agreeing to help him with this plan of his. You just hope it will go smoothly, NRC students are known to keep what they want after all…

.

.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[barnbridges]

tsh hot takes because i want to get cancelled apparently:

it's not that richard projects his feelings for charles onto camilla because she is a woman that skews the perspective on the twins, it is that richard, a homosexual man who hates women, admires camilla, but since he cannot truly carnally desire her, he projects her best traits onto charles. it is charles who is moreso described as an object of desire than camilla, actually.

henry is but a projection of richard's superego heterosexual man self. he doesn't as much desire henry sexually or romantically as he wants to be him, enter his flesh and never leave. the things henry has, from aesthetic to money to people who genuinely like him in spite of his obvious lying and manipulation, are the peak of richard's desires. henry saves richard because richard must make an imaginary friend that will be able and willing to. the "real" henry, the person that richard projects all of these issues into, is the person we meet at the end of the novel, the man who dates camilla and mocks charles' addiction and gardens. he is not completely undesirable to richard, but by far not as linked to him as richard would have liked to believe. the epilogue dream serves as just a reminder that the henry in the first parts of the book (prior to italy, really) has always existed just in le head, bunny's murder is when the fantasy escapes containment and henry diverges from being richard's wish fulfillment.

judy poovey is a great character, but she is by far not a communist or associated with the poor in any meaningful way. judy drives a car more expensive than francis "trust fund" abernathy's with gaudy license plates. she's not "the people" in the way of being poor, she is "the people" in a way of average person at a liberal arts college, who is there on family wealth to pass time and do drugs. same for cloke "my daddy called a lawyer" "i grew up in the corcoran house" rayburn, he is not "the people" or any sort of folk hero way, he is NOT poor in the way richard is. the twins are poorer than cloke or judy. it's a bastardization of the text to say judy is anything anywhere near a folk hero of the communists on campus.

it's a flanderization and a bastardization of the text and donna tartt's interviews to say "julian was behind it all"/"julian ""forced"" them to do it". like most adults in donna tartt's books, julian morrow is a bystander and detached. yes he is important to why the clique choose to do certain things, but i believe it takes away from the narrative and themes to say that everything has been nothing but puppetry and henry has no free will. henry is a fantasy of freedom, a nietzschean superman, his existence is drenched in having the freedom to do anything (because he's rich), think anything (he's smart) and manipulate anyone (because he's alluring), saying oh he was a manipulated meow meow breaks the fantasy into pieces and spits into it. julian is an idol, but like most gods, he only approves or disapproves, he does not get involved in their affairs.

similar to above, but it breaks the plot to say camilla is some manipulative mastermind. camilla takes care of charles for the rest of the epilogue until he forces himself out of the situation, i'm very sure she just does it because she lied about him assaulting her and she does Not at all have an abusive and codependent dynamic with him and is his primary caretaker. not at all. she is just a manipulative bitch who hates him, because ???? fghj it's very richard papen of a lot of the readers to assume that EVERYTHING camilla does is some conspiracy to undermine the men in the book for her personal gain. she's a woman who has been her brother's caretaker all of her life, and has endured his addictions and mood swings for far longer than richard has. we are shown, and told, that it IS a hard choice for her to pick henry (her safety net and her lover) over charles, who is all she has ever known from the moment she was born. she has faced abandonment and death before the plot ever began, and her reaction is not one of indifference, but one of character strength. she is not cold, but resilient in a way richard cannot comprehend a woman to be (they are all whiny airheads and hags, mind you), because she had to be, as an orphan and a caretaker. camilla in the epilogue is just as much of a resilient character as she has been before she ever stepped foot at hampden. her ability to endure and still find some grace for people like richard and francis, who have done nothing for her but betray and belittle her, are to me her defining character traits. she is a kind and loving person, who keeps herself guarded for very rational reasons. it'd be worthless that she rejected richard if he didn't ask her out of a desire to have this kind and loving person by his side and she didn't refuse because she had to take care of henry, charles and her grandmother.

the roses in henry's yard that smell like raspberries ran wild in the epilogue, becoming, you know, brambles.

[vintage1981]

Space: 1999 Stars Barbara Bain & Nick Tate Goes Board Documentary About Sci-Fi Show’s Legendary Spacecraft

Actress Barbara Bain, star of the British sci-fi series Space: 1999, is preparing to board an upcoming documentary about the Eagle, the famed spacecraft at the heart of the show that ran from 1975-1977.

Bain will appear in The Eagle Has Landed as will Nick Tate, her cast mate from Space: 1999. The documentary includes the participation of several other notable figures: Apollo XVI astronaut Charles Duke Jr., Academy Award-winning visual effects artist Bill George (Blade Runner, Star Trek), and Brian Johnson, the VFX artist on Space: 1999 whose work is said to have influenced Star Wars. The film is being directed and produced by Jeffrey Morris, who also hosts the documentary. 

The Eagle Has Landed “explores the cross-generational impact of the iconic vessel” in the series that also starred Martin Landau. According to a press release, the film “showcases never-before-seen archival footage” and will be released in time for the 50th anniversary of Space: 1999’s debut, in 2025.

“Space: 1999 appeared on TV a few short years after the world watched Neil Armstrong take the first steps on the moon,” Morris noted in a statement. “The show’s unforgettable Eagle inspired a generation to envision a future in space and is still doing so decades later. The question we explore is ‘why?’ What is it about this imaginary craft that has captured and held imaginations for nearly 50 years?

Morris’s FutureDude Entertainment is producing the documentary in partnership with Zero Point Zero Production Inc. Anne Marie Gillen is a producer on the project, along with Morris. The film is written by Morris and Fredrick Haugen. Morris is represented by Espada Entertainment.

Space: 1999 ran for a total of 48 episodes, with Bain and Landau in all of them as, respectively, Dr. Helena Russell and Commander John Koenig (the actors were married to each other at the time; they had previously co-starred together in Mission: Impossible).

The show revolved around the denizens of Moonbase Alpha, scientific researchers living on the moon whose existence was threatened by a nuclear explosion, which rocketed the moon out of Earth’s orbit. Tate, an Australian-born actor, played pilot Alan Carter on 42 of the show’s 48 episodes. Originally, his character was to be killed off in the premiere episode, a casualty of the nuclear explosion, but producers Gerry Anderson and Sylvia Anderson liked his work and expanded his role.

“Hovering above the Moon in one of Alpha’s Eagle spacecraft, Alan Carter is an observer to this holocaust, watching helplessly as the Moon spins out into space,” according to a synopsis published by the Catacombs.Space1999.net website. “Sacrificing his only chance to return home, Carter decides to give chase to the runaway Moon, joining his friends on the endless intergalactic journey.”

Tate told the website, “I didn’t have to dig too deeply with this character. Alan Carter was all the things I was as a young man: friendly, happy-go-lucky, someone who loved adventure and accepted a challenge.”

Ian McShane, Joan Collins, and Leo McKern were among actors who appeared in single episodes of Space: 1999.

[sparrowsfallingfromthesky]

by the way this is terrible picture quality but this is what I ended up doing with my wall last week. I still have to stick everything down more securely and I might make a few adjustments but I'm pretty satisfied.

I even made a shitty gallery guide:

1. Pictures of me with the 4 core members of Darlingside 2. Picture of me with Aaron Tveit 3.-4.   Carousel animal ornaments from the Smithsonian 5.-9.   Photo collages with my college friends 10.-12. Drawings of Les Amis de l'ABC as pigeons by me 13. Portrait of Victor Hugo by Alphonse Legros (Harvard Art Museums) 14.-15. Winnie-the-Pooh pencil drawings by E.H. Shepard (Victoria & Albert Museum) 16. Isabella Stewart Gardner museum, photo by Clements & Howcroft 17. Etching from Carceri d'invenzione (Imaginary Prisons) by Giovanni Battista Piranesi (British Library) 18. Cantica de Medicina by Avicenna (Boston Medical Library/Center for the History of Medicine) 19. Vanitas Still Life by Herman Henstenburgh (Morgan Library & Museum) 20. Mystique by Amy Brown 21. Art by Ulla Thynell 22. Medea by William Wetmore Story (MFA Boston) 23. Rockets and Blue Lights (Close at Hand) to Warn Steamboats of Shoal Water by JMW Turner (Clark Art Institute/MFA Boston) 24. Twilight by George Inness (Williams College Museum of Art) 25. Path to Shambhala by Nicholas Roerich (Nicholas Roerich Museum) 26. Star of the Hero by Nicholas Roerich 27. Palden Lhamo by Nicholas Roerich 28. First Touch (redraw of a still from Pride and Prejudice (2005)) by Kalogh on redbubble 29.-43. Art by @ullathynell (bought from artist's website, but she also has society6) 44. A Thousand Cranes (left screen) by Kayama Matazo (National Museum of Modern Art Tokyo) 45. Art of northern flicker by Sarah Martinez 46. Bird art by me 47. Cover design for Bury the Lede by Dora Lariat by me 48. "ex libris" book plates from my college English department 49. Ship with seven men, net and gull by Alfred Wallis (Kettle's Yard, Cambridge) 50. Farewell by @riisinaakka-draws 51. Piece of eight necklace 52. "Know no shame" inscription from Black Sails 53. Book of adventures by dandingeroz on redbubble 54. Farewell and Good Riddance to Skeleton Island by riisinaakka 55. The Walrus at Night by riisinaakka 56. The map from Treasure Island 57. Hush by @finngualart (SaskiaDeKorte) 58. Returned to the Sea by SaskiaDeKorte 59. Flint coloring page by SaskiaDeKorte, colored by me 60. Madi by riisinaakka 61. Longing by riisinaakka 62. Watercolour raven by SaskiaDeKorte

:)

And (doll tw) here's a "before" shot from a while back (I'd changed the curtain and taken down the mirror in between)

[mariacallous]

People who don’t join political parties imagine that membership is an expression of opinions held in common. It starts that way, but over time, party loyalty comes to be defined at the threshold of tolerable extremism. What ugly attitude can you rub along with without recoil because, politically speaking, it’s family?

That is the question that Lee Anderson, a former deputy chair of the Conservative party, forced on fellow Tories with his assertion that “Islamists” have “got control” of Sadiq Khan, the mayor of London.

The whip was withdrawn. Rishi Sunak saw a line being crossed but struggled to name the crossing point, observing only that Anderson was “wrong”, not racist or Islamophobic. There was an awkward void in the place where the Conservative leader located the wrongness.

The transgression was severe enough to merit expulsion from the parliamentary party, but it can’t be defined by words that are applied without hesitation by anyone who really understands the offence.

The prime minister doesn’t want to call it Islamophobia or anti-Muslim hate because that would cast a net of opprobrium over everyone in his party who agrees with Anderson. They are too numerous to anathematise. It would drag in Suella Braverman, the former home secretary, who has written that Keir Starmer is “in hock” to Islamists who have nobbled parliament and “bullied our country into submission”.

Some Conservative MPs reject such paranoid hallucinations for what they are. Most finesse the question as a matter of rhetorical taste. “Not the words I would have chosen,” is a standard non-repudiation. It avoids naming the ingredient that is too spicy for more subtle Tory lips.

Press for clarity and the conversation is diverted on to pro-Palestinian demonstrations, antisemitic placards appearing in the throng, chants celebrating a Middle East with Israel erased and, since Hamas pursues that goal by indiscriminate murder, a shadow of intimidation felt by many British Jews.

Those are not imaginary issues, but they can be raised without plunging into the murky water where Anderson and friends swim. “Control” is the keyword. It unlocks the insinuation that Khan is a cipher, a sleeper agent. He might sound like a mainstream politician of the centre-left, but that is a front. He might have a commendable record of running a multiethnic capital with respect for the cultural sensibilities of its diverse communities, but his true agenda is sectarian.

That is not a plausible depiction of the actual Sadiq Khan. But Anderson speaks to an audience (mostly outside London) that doesn’t see beyond the mayor’s Muslim faith and the colour of his skin, taking them as proof of ulterior and unsavoury allegiance.

Encoded in the attack on Khan is the old “cricket test”, formulated by Tory grandee Norman Tebbit. Tebbit’s question: do immigrants and their children cheer for England in the Test match, or do their non-native hearts crave victory for some other land? The cricket test sets a cruel bar for belonging in Britain. It can only be cleared by jettisoning intimate components of identity. That is nationalism doing what nationalism does – narrowing the criteria for who counts as part of the nation and policing the boundary with menaces.

The left traditionally rejects that way of thinking, with one exception. A socialist variant of the cricket test applies to Jews who feel some cultural, religious or family affinity to Israel, which is most of Britain’s Jewish community.

Formally, the test is not racial. The passport for admittance to left virtue is repudiation of “Zionism”, which is a polyvalent word, narrower than Jewishness, wider than Israeli. It has a complex history, disputed among Jews themselves, which is what gives it utility in laundering the ancient animus. Much of the “anti-Zionism” that exonerates itself from racism replicates the imagery and idiom of what, a century ago, was denounced as “International Jewry”.

The progressive Geiger counter that crackles on contact with most particles of racist radiation passes silently over talk of “Zionists” exerting control over the media, finance and British foreign policy.

No alarm was raised at the Labour meeting in Rochdale where Azhar Ali, then the party’s candidate in a local byelection, said that the Israeli government had knowingly permitted the Hamas atrocities of 7 October as a pretext for military aggression in Gaza. It took a few days for Ali to lose Keir Starmer’s endorsement.

Many were dismayed by the propagation of a wild conspiracy theory while doubting that antisemitism was in the room. But it takes irrational fixation on the evil of a Jewish state, and intuitive reluctance to empathise with a narrative of Jewish victimhood, to embrace the idea that Israel organised a blood sacrifice of its own people to facilitate conquest of Palestinian land.

Conspiracy theory as conduit into the mainstream is a common factor in the spread of antisemitism and Islamophobia. It is the difference between conversations about “Islamism” or “Zionism” as terms that Muslims and Jews might recognise, and the deployment of those words as pseudoanalytical camouflage on blanket vilification of a minority community.

Purported vigilance against “Islamism” is a bridge between the mainstream right and the morbid ultranationalist fantasy where Muslim communities in “no-go areas” wage demographic war to replace Christian populations. “Anti-Zionism” causes a blurring of vision on the mainstream left that makes it hard for some people to distinguish between the struggle for Palestinian justice and railing against inveterate Jewish bloodlust.

I have written this far without a personal expression of horror and despair at the plight of Gaza. Does a Jewish journalist have to declare non-affiliation to the Israeli government, and confess to a sickening dread of every news bulletin, as his licence to participate in conversations about the Middle East?

We are not all freelance ambassadors for a foreign state. We are often made to feel like it, which induces an impulse of resentful emotional retreat. I imagine something similar is felt by British Muslims after terrorist attacks carried out in the name of jihad. It is hard not to resent the suspicion of complicity, the unspoken charge of guilt by cultural adjacency, that flickers in a stranger’s eyes.

None of these experiences is exactly equivalent. Antisemitism on the left and Islamophobia on the right can’t be formulated as a balanced string of political algebra. But there is a grim symmetry of blind spots, self-righteous denial and selective outrage. There is an unhealthy division of vigilance with partisans from each end of the political spectrum appointing themselves arbiters of the prejudice they have decided belongs to the opposite side.

Jewish and Muslim identities are not signifiers of ideology or party loyalty. But British politics, in its relentless polarising vortex, seems unable to treat them, treat us, as anything other than potential recruits for a dangerous round of mutual antagonism. And we are tired, I am tired, of having personal identity, family attachment, culture and innermost anxiety scored and folded into darts for other people to hurl across party lines. So very tired.

[verosissy84]

Questions found

Here I found some asks. Since, noone asked me for a while. I will answer them. May be someone find it amusing; someone coule enjoy it. Answers are marked by -sign.

1:How many people have you had sex with? -This is a lot of work to encount it exactly, but the number is bow somewhere 30..40.

2: Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with? -Not really 🤪 I forgot some right after the act.

3: With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good? -Fisrt? Well, If my kiss/touch/undressing with my same aged cousing does not count....it usually does not. The first was a girl same age as me (both 15 in that time). Yes, it was good. Bench near a lake, kissing, stroking each other and oral.

4: What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? -can't decide

5: What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had? -also can't decide. One of several cases when I could not get hard 😔

6: Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex? -I think ir was a compartment on the train ☺️

7: Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated? -Classroom on university?🙃

8: Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes? Yes.

9: If you masturbate, when did you start, and how? - I am not sure how old I was. 13? I just teased my cock in the bath, bc it felt good...as I did it for longer time, I came.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? -Yes

11: How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)? -Diverse, intense

12: Have you ever been in a queer relationship? -yes

13: Have you ever been in a straight relationship? -yes

14: If you aren’t straight, how and when did you realise you weren’t? -I recognize, I coule be spmhow fluid around my 18.

15: Are you out to everyone you know? 🤷‍♂️

16: Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult? -Yes. It is difficult. On datesites, on net chatrooms, and accidentally outside.

17% If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react? -I am not sure.

18: Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react? - Yes, one very close friend knows that.

19: Describe your first queer kiss. - Omg, a guy, we met on chatsite on the net, whote messages, arranged meeting. We met on bus stop, walk for a while and talked. Then, we went to his home. Ten second after door closer, I had his tongue, in my mouth. O would desribed it as hot, wet, exciting.🔥

20: What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done? -It is hard to pick up one. I met a strange guy, who was only interested to play with my hole. And he played. I was little consterned, he was only interested in my hole, fingering, toying, extendinf, toying again and givving mi huts of po**ers. A lot of hit. He almost fisted me. It took more than an hour that he onky managed extension of me. Then, he stroked his cock and sent juicy cum on my face.

21: Are you happy with your body? -Oh yes, really ☺️

22% What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why? - I think ... I am sure, it is my buttock. It is just cute, sexy, and provokes everyone to give it a slap 😁

23: What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.) -underarms, pubes (except a line up) shaved, on legs they are cut eith clipper.

24: Do you have stretch marks? Where? -No. I dont have them.

25: Describe your nipples in too much detail. 😁🙃 Just nipples.

26: Cut or uncut? For girls do you have a preference? - uncut

27: Longest dry streak after you lost your virginity? A year 🤷‍♂️

28: Describe your size, Guys penis, girls breasts - 18.5x4 cm

29: Have you tasted your self? Did you like it? - Ohhh... Yes and yes 😁

30: Favorite body part on your preferred sex? -pussy 😁

31: Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy. -unusual? Well, it is double date of two pairs (M+F) going to the dinner, but it somhow turned to M+M and F+F when we arraived at their house 😁

32: Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones? -Real/possible

33: Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about? - an odd one? I dont know, there are no odds in my fantasies, probably 🤷‍♂️

34: Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose? -O found myself in that way, but ussually, it is on purpose.

35: Do you always fantasise while you masturbate? -yes, always ☺️

36: When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation? - always 😁

37: Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else? -yes, but it is very uncommon for me.

38: Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about? -Just porn stars 😁

39: Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after? -I dont remember anything like that.

40: Describe your most sexy fantasy. -It is intense, wild oral, when I perform licking, eating, sucking on pussy and I am on the back, she is on top

41: How do you feel about BDSM? -quite well, but no blood, no needles, no harm, no cruel violence.

42: What’s your most unusual kink? -I have to think about that. I have a lot of ones.

43: In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it? -Both is possible, but I am somehow more submissive than dominant.

44: Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither? - both, but more submissive. Also in relation with specific partner.

45: Describe your most recent bondage experience. - O was tied by my ex GF by several scarfs, theb teased a little, then she enjoyed a lot pf my mouth and then she pegged me with her strap. It happened longer time ago.

46: In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term? -No, I did not. But I used Ma'am a lot of times.

47: Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)? -pussy juice, a little of spitting games, and I would not br offended for some pissing, but I am not looking for it.

48: Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively? -yes

49: Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of? -e.g. a little sissy bitch fetish?

50: How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)? -estimete about $1000 for all.

51: Do you like squirting - most definitelly yes 😁

52: Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)? -Ohh yes 😁 many times

53: Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched? -Ohh, yes, I can and I like it 🙃

54: Describe how you like your genitals to be touched. -Hold, stroke, squeze...stop, wait and repeat 😇 tease me, please ☺️

55: How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on? - They are sensitive, much more for licking or sucking than touch by finger. Yes it does turn me on

56: Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? -Easy it is for me through masturbation, but it is better with another person.

57: Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting? -Oh yes. My first P-orgasm from anal stimulation.

58: Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle? -Gentle, but intense

59: What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had? -I cannot pick up the best one really

60: Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter? -I think it toke a while at my begining

61: Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why? -I love it!!! So much. Why? May be it is becase of my oral issue/fixation 😏 But I really love it.

62: What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral? -Laying on my back

63: Describe your oral sex technique. It depends on partner. F: I start easy by long licks, continuesly adding on pressure, switching to sucking the clit, and back to licking...and adding more and more intensity. I let my feeling to guide me. // M: I take the cock at the base holding it by hand, start to lick and suck the head and start sucking, inserting in and bringing out...more and more, I can give even deepthroat...addinf hand stroking. It ussualy is quite quick 😉

64: Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different? -easier for me is to give orgasm by oral to the cock, it is quicker. But, I enjoy it somehow more to give oral to pussy 😏🤤

65: Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received. -I think I have never had suck a thing likr worst oral...

66: Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received. -I cannot pick up one

67: Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)? -Yes 😉🤤😇

68: How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you? -most definitely yes. It is very sensitive and arousing while giving oral, while kissing, or doing other things 😂

69: Do you like 69ing? - Oh and a lot!!

70: Can you deep-throat? -Yes, I can and I like it ☺️

71: Do you like it in the butt? -Oh that much!😇😉

72: What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt? -Oh, that is a spicy question! Is a tangerine or banana strange? 😁 Or, is alien tentacle-shaped dildo stranger? 😂 I am not sure by the strengest 🤣🤷‍♂️

73: Do you enjoy being rimmed? -Well, if the partner enjoys to give me rimming, ok, it is nice, but I woukd never require such a thing. But, it was nice every time.

74: Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little? -I think a lot 😁🤪 Dont you want to test me?

75: Describe your most recent experience with buttsex. -A guy, after mutual oral, he start fucking me (he behing me, me kneeling) and I came and then he cotinued and I came again and he with me. It was nice ☺️

76% Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts? -Actually not much and only to women.

77% (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage? -Ohh, yes 😁

78% Do you own any buttplugs? -Yes, many 😁😇

79% Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience? -Oh, yes. 😁 Oh wait, you meant me fucking thebbutt... Also yes 😁

80% Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)? -No

81% Do you have sex with music in the background. -Not ussually. But there can be music.

82% Have you ever had sex with more than one person? -Yes 😁

83% Have you ever had an orgy? Would you? -An orgy? I think, no.

84% Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others? -I did not see such a thing. So, I dont know 🤷‍♂️

85% Lights on or off? -Better off, but not necesarly.

86% Do you own any sex toys - A lot of toys 😁

87% Have you or would you ever do a gangbang? -I haven't. I am not sure. I think, I would not. It is a little too much for me.

88% Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus? -Doibke blowjob yes.

89% Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time? -butt &mouth yes.

90% Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time? -Yes

**BONUS DARES**

91% Post a selfie. -No 😏

92% Post a naked selfie. -Really not 🙄

93% Tag your biggest tumblr crush.

94: Post your follower count.

95: Press ctrl-v, and post whatever comes up. -OK, but you cannot undertsnad "Nedělám si iluze, kolík malých domu stihnou ti strejdové udělat"

96: Tag your top five followers.

97: Post your most recent Facebook status here.🤐

98: Post the last SMS you received. -An invoce from cell phone operator 🤭

99: Post the last SMS you sent. -"OK"