#ima skibidi shoot myself

[breadboysteals]

You should follow me so all the random shit I say gets out to the public it'll be funny ngl

[breadboysteals]

By the way I'ma vent so if you ain't wanna listen to my shitty ass first world country problems scroll away

When I was like 6 I used to say my dad was someone I'm not gonna specify because it's embarrassing everyone thought it was cute but it was literally because I didn't know who my dad was I didn't know my dad until I was 12 at which point my parents immediately divorced and I've had to pretend like I know him which I don't he's not my dad to me he's never been a father figure he was in prison for like 20 years I don't know this man and I'm not even allowed to feel sad because everyone else in my family has apparently worse problems I literally have learned to hide my emotions so much that I can't feel empathy I don't even feel bad when people that I loved died my Grandpa died recently I wasn't sad I'm still not sad I liked him but now he's just gone I honestly don't get what I'm supposed to be sad about and now when anything makes me slightly mad I have violent outbursts which I don't even win because I can't commit to shit I wanna eat healthy I don't I try to exercise I can't I give up on everything I do because every time I tried something new someone would go "you know that's really hard to learn" to the point where I can't learn stuff when I was in school the only subject I barely passed was math I couldn't learn anything else there is so much I want to do but I have no commitment this is probably just an every person thing though at 13 I had attempted suicide 20 times and I wasn't even confident in my choices enough to go through with that i was diagnosed with ADD at a young age but my mom refused to put me on medication because she thought I was a drug addict I did smoke pot at 13 so I guess you were fucking right mom it's not like i smoked weed because you beat my brother in front of me and told me it was my fault that couldn't be fucking it I can't remember a single good moment from my childhood I'm probably just a pussy that's trying to victimize myself though like lowkey my life can't be that shitty people have had worse and that doesn't give me any excuse to be a shitty person I'm not gonna do anything to stop being a shitty person because well I can't commit to shit besides being an addict to everything I try that makes me feel a little good thank god I'm too fucking poor to buy crack or fentanyl Jesus fucking Christ I'm just like my dad I'm poor addicted to weed and pushes away everyone that I'm close to fuck I'm shouldn't be venting I have no shit to be sad about this was fucking stupid