#im. really upset right now
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hiiiii so. some asshole threw my headphones away and my parents cant buy me a replacement ‼️ promoting my commissions again so i can hopefully somehow save up to buy new ones
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accumulated enough abandoned wips to dump them in a post again
#deltarune#kris#noelle#my art#i actually really like that first one but once ive left a piece for too long i cannot bring myself to work on it again i dont know why.#maybe if im rly motivated and have the time.. which i have neither of right now#im sorry im always complaining abt how busy i am but its upsetting how much its been affecting how much i can draw..#whcih is why i thought now would be a good time for a post like this at least
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Honestly this is why I keep calling their ship redsuits in my head because I want a distinction between normal present day spamtenna and big shot spamtenna because they feel so uniquely tasty. Do you guys understand
#deltarune spoilers#its like. i like both okay ive been converted to enjoying present day spamtenna too#theres just something that hits DIFFERENT about big shot spamton and tenna pre pettiness#which is why i think the name redsuits works for me and me only because#they rlly are jsut two guys JUST working together and then they always end up getting too real with each other#grabbing each others arms and collars like theyre the last survivors on an island that cant choose wheter to make their own civilization or#fucking. eat each other alive#like guys calm down#except dont because i love it. it feels so uniquely them that#it just feels like an entirely different ship to me sometimes#very much tied with what they become but like#but say what you will about present day spamton being his rock bottom but bigshot spamton with tenna is like#the worst of the worst and i think thats so interesting#hey lets kiss even tho ur running away from what you REALLY want in pursue of quick ''''earned'''' luxuries because u csnt say no to ur boss#and im currently watching helplessly as my family and source of income and happiness and passion slips between my fingers#and also i have to distract children away from all of it#lets have wild longing for each other right now at this moment NOTHING could go wrong#(things then go wrong)#deltarune#deltarune chapter 3 spoilers#spamtenna#im gonna tag#red suits#just to see what is in there#if its gen just red formal suits im gonna be rlly upset st myself#deltarune chapter 3#uhhh idk what to tage this go my minions#pls feel free to use this post to tag and yap#also gonna try#redsuits
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sorry to rant but i hate tiktok so much there's a trend where people go to art exhibits and stand in front of works they think they could've made (which in and of itself i hate) but i saw a tiktok today of someone doing that trend in front of (untitled) portrait of Ross in LA and i actually felt physically ill. i wont link the video bc i dont want op getting harassed or anything and i'd feel gross about sharing it.
and like multiple people commented how fucking disrespectful and ignorant that was and proceeded to get flooded with hundreds of replies of people (including the op) being like "lmao its just a pile of candy its not that deep," or "just because it apparently has a meaning that doesnt mean that it's not stupid and/or easy enough for a toddler to do,"
which like... first of all i'm disgusted at the disrespect people are showing to such a beautiful, meaningful, and tactful piece is insane. i'm actually gobsmacked.
secondly like, yeah, everyone can create art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity. just because a piece doesn't require a lot of technical skill (and in this example i think the simplicity of execution plays into the themes and message of the piece) doesnt make it or the themes it conveys any less valuable or interesting. part of the point of art museums is to consider beauty and meaning in both the innovative and mundane.
i don't even have an argument like i'm just apalled by the kinda shit these people are saying and how it reflects on society that so many people are insulting such a powerful and emotionally driven piece in such a vitriolic and unwilling to learn way.
#rant#art#rambles#i'll probably delete this later but im really upset about this right now#performance art#idek what to tag this
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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Hey uh wtf was that??
#i fucking hate it here#i knew this would happen#i was desperately desperately hoping that steel wool/scott wouldn't be taking away Williams and Henry contributions#i had a feeling thats where they were going to go with it#but i was desperately holding onto hope that they wouldn't do the exact thing they did#which is basically erase all the major plot points of henry and William by adding in Edwin#i dont know what to think#like im ridiculously upset right now due to what this means for the lore#the game was good the best in the fnaf franchise in terms of gameplay and lack of glitches but#but#i really dont know how to feel about the lore right now#also lowkey#some of the voice acting for Edwin#kinda mid not gonna lie#i laugh everytime i hear the audio of him breaking the mimic#i cant#fnaf sotm#sotm spoilers#sotm#secret of the mimic#fnaf secret of the mimic#fnaf
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Woah 3 crash outs today
#today was so weird bc for half the day i felt okay but the other half i felt like i needed to go to a rage room#ive been really upset lately tbh#just unhappy unhappy#my anxiety peaked so hard too#<- just thinking about my speaking in spanish made me physically ill and ive been so generally paranoid#i feel like im constantly looking over my shoulder#I feel like I'm in fight or flight so often lately and I don't know why#I ranted about my household twice today for completely unrelated reasons and issues#I ranted for like half an hour because i finally snapped#I almost cried today because i felt someone was dismissive when they weren't trying to be#I just want to be told I matter but why is that not enough#I want to be useful#I want to make everyone happy#i just want to make people smile#I feel like talking about my feelings makes me an attention seeker..like its a bad thing#but I do want attention!!!!#i do seek it out!!!#sorry if I've been less amiable#my social anxiety takes me out#my adhd kills me#my stupid brain isnt letting me feel good right now.#i love you guys so much#i love you so so much#cried twice typing this
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can we get some pen resentment here. i loved the whole pen and pencil thing this episode but i cant help but feel like he's always let blocky get off the hook too easily. he didn't even know blocky left for bfb, there was no goodbye or anything?? he's got this built up frustration from losing his friends time and time again but what if them alone were also a frustration point for him? blocky leaves for bfb and doesn't even say bye to pen (assumably same for eraser). there was also a clear difference in the way pen and eraser treated eachothers friendship, i always felt like pen was giving it his all when eraser unfortunately just.. wasn't, even if they actually had a proper goodbye.
#sorryyy i have a lot of thoughts on this episode and these are the only ones i can properly get down right now#maybe ill cloudyay post im not sure#cant really death pact post haha#that haha was sarcastic. im upset.#bfdi#tpot#battle for dream island#tpot 16 spoilers#pen bfdi#pen tpot
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sorry I'm such a buzzkill todaayyyyyyyy
normally I'm in a better mood but uhhhh this week sucked echidna dick.
#ehehehehe#but really#im no fun right now im sorryyyyu#normally im high strung and just having fun here#but im sad this week#im sad and im tired and i cant think straight#its disconcerting#im a thinker#anything that impairs my thinking upsets me#this is why i dont drink or do weed#feeling unable to articulate myself is my hell
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haven’t been feeling very good about being a trans guy lately. stupid internet and its stupid lesbian trans man discourse and ive been dealing with my family who act like me correcting them for misgendering me is me getting angry with them when im not
#monty monolouges#claws at my enclosure#at least ill be home soon and i can spend time with my friends#but this stuff about lesbian trans men ive been dealing with lately#i know i should ignore it but it’s really hard when im constantly seeing it#the way they’ve been talking about us makes me feel bad#like im a threat#im not a threat im not invading women’s spaces i just use a label for christs sake#i still have connections to being a lesbian. i was one before i knew i was a guy#i still call myself one because it makes me feel good#but it feels bad right now#i know this will pass but it’s still upsetting
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Like. I don't think there's any way for me to publicly disagree with common sentiment Without sounding like a dickhead (not to mention contributing to a discourse that frankly I'm not sure it worth the time)
But every time the wave of "mad about nintendo pricing" rolls by (which why is it always nintendo why don't I see this energy for sony or microsoft do the ppl I follow just not care abt those consoles. Is it that somehow they seem less for children.) I can't help but get rubbed the wrong way as someone who video games were almost always too expensive for.
Like the nostalgia for a $30 ds game doesn't scan for me bcus that was expensive too!! But there are soo many ways now to play free or cheap games. Even more than when flash was big!
And genuinely I get the sorrow and hurt of being priced out of a fun time with your friends. All of the games that are important to me are ones that have no wide critical acclaim or nostalgia, and I feel alienated by conversations of the ones that do most of the time.
But I think we're doing a disservice to ourselves if we make these conversations about economy and fun the same thing here. I Really think it's muddy water to feel upset about pricing and make that about the game or the company when it's very clearly a general industry and economy problem! And I really think it's muddy water to feel upset about pricing and make that about the game or the company when there are soooo many opportunities for fun out there that you just need to be willing to engage with
#i dont think upset meme waves are helpful or actually get to the core of the important feelings or facts#i usually try not to engage but really im tired of this happening wave after wave for this one company for no good reason when like!#there are so much better uses of our time!#and i get that that feels good too i mean i feel better after typing this out and its not really any different#but i just really think. if we think to ourselves 'im not having fun right now' then like man lets think up some fun#fun? did that finish before sending. i cant tell. mobile#blah blah bryn#long post#anyway watch out for my upcoming reblog
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Oh.. that's... that's the mimic... that's the mimic in my probably one and only chance for a FNAF game set in the fredbear's family diner era.......................
#no offense to the mimic lovers#but ive never been more UPSET in my LIFE than i am in this moment.#im really scared for them to just fucking blow up the entire original story of fnaf and make it all about the fucking mimic#from the very beginning#im telling u right now if they do that yall will NEVER SEE ME TALK#ABOUT THIS STUPID GAME#EVER AGAIN.#beauspeak
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Ok I feel better ❤️🩹 thanks everyone
#sometimes I get a negative comment and it makes me spiral cause I assume the commentor is Correct and that I need to Fix / Address their#issue RIGHT NOW OR ELSE (or else what??? who knows. anxiety is weird)#and I’m like. ok . gotta reflect. gotta think. gotta figure out how to solve this and never fuck up or make anyone mad at me ever again#and I start spiralling#and sometimes the reality check of like ‘uhh no I think that person may just have been incorrect’#feels really good#because my gut feeling is that? but also like. I’m like#terrified of being defensive / constantly wanting to ‘do better’ take critiques into account etc etc#and sometimes it’s overwhelming when you take Every Critique Seriously#but hearing other folks be like ‘yeah no this is kinda silly’ makes me feel like. ok. I am right / allowed to feel upset by that#I’m just very like … I don’t know … assume in every situation I’m usually Wrong on some level (cause that feels safest) so one when someone#is like ‘YOURE WRong/bad/etc’ I’m like OH NO MY WORST FEARS REALIZED THEY SEE THE TRUE ME#‘how do I immediately fix myself and be better for them!!!!?’#and hearing others say ‘uhm. you don’t have to? you’re doing fine. just. keep doing what you’re doing’#Is like some of the biggest relief I can experience ?? I feel very guilty for needing that kind of support /input / etc#but it feels very very validating#even when I’m terrified of being validated cause I assume the default state is im Probably Wrong#ugh introspection is. hard . when you have a warped (?) view of yourself :(
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dude the switch 2 has been out for two days and Im already seeing untagged posts about the new zelda notes stuff and im pissed. like why does nobody in this fandom give anyone a second to enjoy something at their own pace? i dont want to be spoiled the literal second something comes out. i want a chance to enjoy it myself without feeling like i have to rush and scramble to get it without being forced to see it. its exhausting and infuriating
#so much so that i will probably be unfollowing some mutuals because i genuinely dont want to see spoilers on it#its not personal or anything but I genuinely hate feeling forced and pressured to participate in something#and this feeling is what ruined my first totk playthrough#im actually really pissed and upset right now#im sick of this fandom ruining my fun because nobody can just chill out for a godamn month#avenin talks
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I am very angry.
#abt personal things#dont you just love when someone suddenly drops it on you that they're staying at your house#not asking. but just saying. yeah ill be staying at your house.#and then you think they're going to leave and you feel very relieved and freed#and suddenly they reveal they are actually not leaving. and that they'll be staying. and they don't say when they're leaving.#disrupt your life. and seemingly feel no remorse or any sort of discomfort over doing so#i fucking hate people in my space. even my brother who i like i start to get annoyed#but this?#its just my anger speaking but god i am seriously close to making bad decisions#the only time where i am comfortable outwardly being rude. because i reallt dgaf. and i dont care if it makes me a bad person#but its like. i just want to fucking enjoy my first week off. all me by myself#and instead i now have this malignant presence. in my house.#the urge to do something bad...i feel it....i want to do something unwise...#augh im fucking upset#i thought i was finally free but fucking no. fuck this shit man#i hate it. i cant be comfortable being me. cant be in the whole house the way i want. i feel restricted.#i want to be like a bad dog a very bad dog that is so offputting that it forces them to leave.#wow your dog seems to really dislike me i dont want to stay here anymore ! i fucking wish#IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW#its my first week off. motherfucker. why can't i enjoy it. fucking bitch. motherfucker.#google. how to make someone leave. how to force someone to go away.#im so angry#catie.rambling.txt
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My ex keeps messaging me and it's making me wanna hit my head on the wall and/or cry
Come bother me in dms for distraction please:3
#glad you have everything going right for you right now!!! it's really upsetting to hear about and im happy for youuuu#yayyyyy#soemoen come into dms and distract me
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