#im writing this when i should be sleeping so hopefully that all made sense

[autumnywinter]

Im crazy for this blog! Do you mind writing for yandere Baizhu or some hcs? Maybe a modern au?

Baizhu's more just a clinician than a pharmacist here because I'm obsessed with yandere doctors. It's been a while since I wrote for him, I'm not very confident in this but I hope it's still good ^^

Yandere!Baizhu x Reader

TW: Heavily implied noncon somnophilia, drugging, doctor/patient, gaslighting

You had been seeing and hearing things. It started with little noises outside of your window at night, rustling and shuffling. It scared you, but not enough to do anything about it. Next thing you knew, you swore you were seeing white flashes through your window at odd hours of the night. You'd look out the window, and there'd be not a thing in sight except for the stillness of the night.

It got worse.

Items of your possession began to go missing, mostly clothing, oftentimes dirty. You told yourself it was probably due to your own absent-mindedness, but you knew deep down that something was wrong.

The thing that set you off was when you'd wake up sore and hurting. There'd be scratch marks on your arms and back, and bruises you swore were hickeys on your shoulders and neck. They were in places you couldn't have reached yourself. Your mind had jumped to the worst case scenario, and you were terrified.

Yet your trusted doctor brushed it all off, saying you were getting hallucinations and stressing yourself out far too much. He claimed what you were so sure were hickeys, were actually just bruises. He said you were likely a sleep walker due to your increased stress, hence it made sense that you'd unintentionally hurt yourself while asleep. You'd bought into his reasoning, because he'd always been so trustworthy and reliable.

He gave you medication to help you, but you couldn't help but feel like what he prescribed made it worse. You found yourself more groggy than usual, and often having nightmares. You felt physically sick most days.

But Doctor Baizhu was so trustworthy, you felt like it was the right choice.

You noticed how his fingers would linger longer than they should whenever he took your pulse. You noticed how his eyes would dilate when staring at you for just a bit too long. You noticed how his touch felt wrong, like there was something else behind it. But you were just being paranoid, just as Baizhu said.

"Feeling sick again?" Baizhu's cold hand pressed against your forehead. The touch sent a shiver coursing through your body, the sharp contrast in temperature setting your nerves on edge.

"Yeah," you managed. Your voice was barely a whisper.

"That's unfortunate," Baizhu sighed. He clicked his tongue a few times in thought. "Well, if you continue taking this medicine, you should start feeling better soon. Although I'm starting to worry the side-effects are a pain. I have something else to try, so if you would just give me a moment..."

Baizhu walked off to the other end of the room, leaving you alone. You swallowed hard, wincing slightly at the uncomfortable feeling. Your throat was always dry lately, and you found yourself struggling to swallow, let alone eat. You wished you could sleep, but the nightmares always left you a groggy mess. You could never remember them, only that they were terrifying.

"Ah, here we are," Baizhu smiled, snapping you from your thoughts. He had a bottle of pills, shaking out one singular white one. "It'll dissolve in your mouth. It's to help ease your nausea. I know you haven't been keeping anything down well lately. Hopefully this should help."

You extended a hand, to which he placed it in your palm. Were doctors even allowed to give out pills directly? You weren't sure, but shrugged it off. You popped it into your mouth, and Baizhu was right. It quickly dissolved, and you were surprised that it didn't have a funny taste. You were expecting something bitter or awful, but there was nothing.

"It'll take some time to kick in," Baizhu assured you. "I'd like it if you stayed here until it does. It might make you a little dizzy."

"Sure," you nodded. You had no reason to distrust Baizhu, despite every fibre of your being telling you something was wrong.

The medicine kicked in quickly. Within ten minutes, you were feeling a bit weird, like you were floating. Your head was lighter. Baizhu noticed you swaying and pushed you gently onto the examination table.

"Dizzy?" he asked.

"Uh huh," you replied dumbly.

"Stay lying down," he instructed. Your vision was spinning and your head was empty, so empty you could hardly process the fact he was digging into your belongings and then leaving the room. You wanted to ask him where he was going, but couldn't find the energy. Instead, you let yourself lay there, staring at the ceiling as it spun round and round.

Baizhu came back, rolling in a wheelchair. He lifted you up with a quiet groan, and set you gently into the seat, draping a blanket over you. It was scratchy and thin.

"We're going for a walk," Baizhu said. He wheeled you out, and as loopy as you were, a spike of hazy panic hit you when you saw him leading you to a car in the parking lot that wasn't yours. You tried to protest, but Baizhu cooed, petting your hair and whispering sweet nothings.

"Shhh, it'll be okay. Everything is fine. We're going home."

Baizhu opened the passenger side door, pushing the chair close. He lifted you out with a low grunt. You felt weightless in his arms, like a feather. He buckled you in, and his minty breath ghosted across your face.

"I love you," he murmured.

You passed out before his lips could even touch yours.

[seriesofcountdowns]

Ask game~ 31 ...btw you seem so kind,please protect yourself ,don't let people play with your heart , you deserve all the best :)🌸

some songs for your playlist 💫:wye oak -civilian,jome cinnamon and jorge ben jor -chove chuva

31. Something you did and you are proud of?

Im really proud of that time i stood up for a UC (unaccompanied child) after he was struck by the at risk UC i was assigned under my care that day the incident transpired.

Quick backstory: a couple weeks ago we received this UC that migrated from Nicaragua, which is not unusual, we receive UC from a variety of countries down from the South America regions. However, this UC at the time was the youngest (five years old) and would not listen to instructions, run away from classes, and aggressive towards others and himself, which immediately marked him as an at-risk UC, meaning 1 on 1 supervision only.

Oh, almost forgot, the UC had an brother as well who was there (seven years old) whom was also placed on a 1 on 1 care for the same reason, heck i even accompanied that UC to the hospital when he was put to sleep due to destroying his room and attacking the other Youth Care Workers. I worked from 2pm to 4am that day ugh because we got released (kicked out) of the hospital after he was visited by a mental health specialist and we waited in the visitor room till one of the directors came.

Agh- back to the point. Supervisors realized that both UC respinded well to me so they started placing them under my care.

However, kids are unpredictable, especially an at-risk one so it's difficult to prepare for the mood swings. I'm so sorry for all of this but if you're still reading this, thank you for your patience.

The at-risk UC attacked an another UC, but i was able to lessen the blow by grabbing the UC arms as he strucked the other UC.

Qhat ended up happening was that the supervisors, did not let me write an IR (Incident Report) right away, which is a must in the protocol/policy, and where trying to aggressively admit that i coached the kid into thinking he was hit which was extremely disrespectful to me because right away i knew they just didn't want to document the incident and where being irresponsible. I ended up standing my ground, called them out, and told them "if im wrong, the video, (which there was a camera outside when ot happened) will prove that, but we're going to agree to disagree here." And they just left it as it was.

The next day, i spoke to the director who oversees the supervisors and ycw and she told me that i did everything right and that i should have been allowed to submit the IR immediately.

Before work started, the supervisors reiterated that and they definitely got in trouble. I was really proud of myself because i stood up against them in defense of a UC who was attacked but they didn't want to acknowledge it.

Its a rollercoaster but there you go.

Hopefully i made sense.

*****

Thank you so much for saying that ♥️ I'll do my best in protecting my heart and not allowing those who don't care about my friendship or effort continuing to be a part of my life.

Also, NEW MUSIC!!!?! yay!! I'll be sure to write them down and give them a shot 😊😊

Again, I appreciate this ask, thank you.

—

Send me a number!!

[hotch-stufff]

can i get angst 47 with gibbs 👁👁

Bruises

gif is not mine

Paring: Gibbs x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, angst, crying, comforting, abusive relationship, cursing, mentions of injuries from abuse

Prompt: "You flinched"

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I laid on the ground, not having enough energy to stand up. I couldn't move, and God did it hurt to breathe. Probably a bruised rib, would definitely have some bruises to add to the collection.

Hopefully nothing bad enough to send me to the hospital. The last time I did that, well it was just really bad, and Darren was pissed. So pissed that when we got home, he beat me all over again.

Now I know what you're thinking. What is a federal agent doing staying in an abusive relationship like this? Truth is, I had no idea. At first it was because I thought the beatings would eventually stop, but they didn't. And after realizing they would never stop, I tried to get out. But that only left to another hospital trip and threats. The threats were the only reason that I stayed.

Darren threatened a lot of things. He threatened to beat me so bad I couldn't move. To kill me. But the worst was that he threatened to hurt my team. He knew the whole team, he knew them really well. He worked at NCIS for God's sake, just not on Gibbs team. And that was enough for me to stick around.

Of course, it should be known that it wasn't always like this. Darren was a good guy in the beginning. He brought me flowers and took me out to nice restaurants. He made time for me, and I did the same for him. But then, he didn't get the open spot on Gibbs team. I did. And it all went downhill from there.

The bruises were getting extremely hard to hide. Turtlenecks and long pants were becoming my everyday wardrobe. Which wasnt the easiest thing to work in, but foundation was expensive, and Darren spent most of our money on alcohol or cigarettes. Whatever his weekly fix was. It was ... exhausting. The front I had put up in front of everyone was tearing me down, and people were starting to notice.

Tony and Ziva, who sat closest to me would send me a concerned glance each time I winced when moving. I blamed it on muscle pain, from working out so much.

Abby would see the amount of makeup I was wearing and would ask if I was okay. Of course she just thought I was insecure. She would always tell me that I was bueatiful and that I didn't need makeup. It warmed my heart each and every time she said it.

Palmer was concerned because he had caught one of my bruises. It was on my wrist and my sleeve had rolled up slightly. He had asked about it and I had told him the first lie that popped in my head. That I had fallen. He had taken me straight to Ducky to make sure that it was actually okay. Which is how Ducky got involved.

And then there was Gibbs. Gibbs didn't ask questions, he didn't push for answers, he didn't send me concerned glances. But I was certain he knew something. He didn't know what was actually going on, because he would beat the shit out of Darren if he knew. But he just seemed like he knew something. I knew that if I was going to go to anyone about my "issue", it would be him. Gibbs had been there for me since I had joined the team. And we both had spent plenty of late nights in the office talking. Me, avoiding going home to Darren and him not wanting to go back to his empty house.

Everyone had said that Gibbs was this hard man that never opened up and remained silent most of the time. But boy once he got talking, he never shut up. We talked about eveything. And sometimes nothing, just enjoying each others presence. And if I'm honest, I may have been developing feelings for the guy. But I could never do that, because Darren would probably kill him. And that scared me more than anything.

But life seemed okay. Atleast I was the only one getting hurt.

Of course until it all came crashing down. And it had just been a normal day.

* * *

I sat at my desk, working on and endless stack of paperwork that came with each case. We had just wrapped one up, a good ending thankfully. The team was in high spirits, talking about going out to a bar tonight. But I knew Darren wouldn't have it. I had turned down the offer, instead opting to sit and do paperwork until I had to go home.

Everyone had left for the night, leaving me alone in the bullpen. My hand was a scribbling away, when I had felt the gentle tap of a hand against my shoulder. I should have been more careful, but I had thought it was Darren. So I flinched away from him and crossed my arms in front of my face.

"Y/n?" Gibbs. It was Gibbs. That was it. Just Gibbs. I instantly pulled my arms down and straightened up.

"H-hey Gibbs. What um, what can I do for you." He just stared at me, giving me the usual Gibbs glare.

"You flinched." I grimaced. Of course I did. I didn't want him to find out like this, but I guess this is how its gonna go.

"Um- I, I. Well you see Gibbs-" he cut me off.

"Is someone hittin ya?" He paused thinking, before remembering my oh so lovely boyfriend. "That son of a bitch."

"Wait Gibbs. Its not what you think." But the damage was done. He was going through everything in his mind. My clothes, the grimaces everytime I jerked around, the excuses, the late nights avoiding going home. It all made sense to him now.

"Take off your shirt." My eyes grew wide.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." There was no avoiding this, he wasn't letting me off easily. I took a deep breath before grabbing the bottom of my turtleneck and bringing it over my head. His breath hitched when he saw the bruises that littered my skin.

"My god y/n." He shook his head, running the rough pads of his fingers up and down my arms. "Gonna kill him." And he stood back up, turning quickly before stomping towards the elevator. I slipped my shirt back on and ran after him, but he was already gone. I hurried down to the parking garage and jumped in my car speeding off.

He was gonna kill him. Although who would kill who, I didn't know.

I broke just about every speeding law on the way to my house. When I got there, the door was kicked open and yelling was coming from inside the house.

"Gibbs!" I shouted, running as fast as I could. I walked in the door and gasped. There was glass littering the floor, and picture frames scattered across the ground. I walked further in the house and found them in my kitchen. Gibbs on top of Darren, repeatedly punching him in the face.

"Gibbs! Stop!" I ran to him, pulling him off of Darren. "Stop, he isn't worth it." I pulled Gibbs up by his arm and dragged him away. But he wasn't finished.

"Ya ever go near her again, you're gonna wish you were dead. We'll come back for her stuff, you better not be here when we do." I wanted to cry, to scream, to shout. But I held it in, grabbing Gibbs more forcefully and dragging him back outside.

Once outside, we hopped in his car, and he began driving back to his house. Saying I was grateful was an understatement. Grateful that it was finally over. That maybe I could sleep at night now without worrying about waking up to another beating.

The ride was driven in silence, and soon we were at his house. He got out of the car and walked inside, leaving me out here by myslef. I walked in after him.

I found him in the the kitchen pouring a glass of Bourbon. I came up behind him hugging him.

"Thank you." He froze for a minute before turning in my grasp and brining me into a tight hug. And thats what started the tears. We stood there as I cried into his chest for what felt like forever. Until he finally pulled away and cupped my face.

"Ya didn't deserve any of that. Don't know what happened, or when it started. But ya didn't deserve any of it. You are beautiful and loved and noone should ever have to be treated the way you were." He paused and I began rambling out whatever words came to my mind.

"It was you. I stayed because he threatened you. He said he would hurt you and the team and I couldn't let him." He leaned his forehead against mine. The tears pouring steadily down my face, sobs racking by body.

"Shh, shh. Sweetheart its okay." He leaned in slightly, our lips brushing slightly. And then he leaned in the rest of the way, kissing me into he most gentle way he could. So much different than the bruising kisses that Darren would give me. He broke away after a second.

"Dont know if your ready for it, but I love ya." He said softly. "We can do this, if you want. At your own pace. I just want to show you whats its like to be loved the right way." I nodded.

"I might need some time. But I love you too... Jethro." He smiled.

"Take all the time you need. But m'not leaving your side." I giggled softly as he brought me into another hug. And I stood there whispering thank yous and I love yous until we headed off to bed. I hadn't felt this safe in a long time, and I never wanted to let this feeling go.

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Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I'm really enjoying writing for Gibbs. Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Im so sorry if I don't get to your request! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[reidsnose]

Neighborly

overview: spencer has a new upstairs neighbor who arrives at the same time as the BAUs newest agent

genre: fluff

a/n: this one isnt very romantic but i think its cuteee and could definitely maybe have a part two or something if yall want so lmk what you think :)

masterlist

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Spencer could not stand his new upstairs neighbor.

she had moved in a few months ago. he had never met her (he assumed she was a girl based on the fall of her footsteps and the music she would sometimes blast) but she always seemed to be up when he was getting home from a case. infact, she was always home when he was and she paid absolutely no heed to her downstairs neighbor when she was walking around at 2 in the morning. not that Spencer could sleep anyway, but if he could, it would be exponentially more annoying.

he assumed she was some sort of first responder, maybe a nurse or doctor, because she had incredibly weird hours. or maybe she had no job, or worked from home. after all, he had never seen her and he had no proof of whether she was home when he was not.

he would come to work and occasionally complain to the team about her, how she was walking around and keeping him up.

"why don't you knock on her door and ask her to stop? thats what i would do but all my neighbors are quiet as a mouse." you offered, spinning nonchalantly on your chair one morning.

"yeah newbie is right. just ask her." morgan agreed.

"i cant do that! that would be rude." Spencer shook his head as he spoke.

you laughed, "think of it as being neighborly."

"i dont think telling someone theyre bothering you is very neighborly." he chuckled.

"bake her a cake that says 'kindly shut the hell up' in icing."

"i cant bake!" he whined

you laughed, ruffling his hair, "i dont know what to tell you. just suffer i guess."

he groaned, stifling a smile at the obscurity of your sentence. or maybe at the entire essence of your being. you could always make him smile, and that was a difficult thing to do. you had only been welcomed to the team a few months ago but in a matter of days he decided he probably liked you best on the whole team.

you definitely felt the same about him.

after some regular banter, everyone got to work, filling out and organizing old case files. paperwork days were a breeze for Spencer, almost therapeutic. writing up a report on a case and then being done with it, never having to think about it again after that.

you were breezing through work today as well, wanting to get home as soon as you possibly could. there was a new episode of your favorite show airing tonight and you did not want to miss it. and you had another reason.

theres is a rumor in your building about an elusive man that lives in the apartment below yours. all the old women on your floor always talk about him to you. they said he's rarely home, and when he is, you wouldn't know the difference. but he's very kind, often rushing to help them up the stairs or with groceries. and apparently, you always just miss each other by a matter of minutes.

so you've been trying to arrive home at different times, switching it up by a matter of minutes. but so far that hasn't worked.

when the clock struck 5pm you were ready to practically run out of the doors of the bullpen, excited to finally be on time to watch your show and maybe hopefully run into mystery man.

the team sent you confused glances as you rushed to stuff your belongings into your bag.

"my show!" is all you said explanation, as you slung your bag across your shoulder and speed walked out of the building, "bye guys!"

"she is something," prentiss chuckled after you left, sitting on the corner of your now empty desk.

"how does she have all that energy?" morgan laughed, shaking his head slightly.

"she takes her coffee/tea [ur coffee/tea order]. and she naps all the time." spencer's responded eyes glued to his computer screen. all eyes were now on him and his vast knowledge about you. he looked up and felt his face flush, "i- i think." he looked back at his computer in attempt to hide his embarrassment, "or maybe she just doesn't have an annoying upstairs neighbor keeping her up."

a couple of snickers followed as they dispersed back to their seats and began getting ready to go home as well. Spencer thought about his neighbor, wondering if he hurried home, maybe she wouldn't be there yet.

so he packed up and began heading out, hopping on the train and wondering if his hypothesis would be correct.

it wasn't.

when he got home he heard the rhythmic stomping of his upstairs neighbor dancing. he rolled his eyes; she was dancing to some short song that was likely the intro to a tv show. he sighed. there was no point in complaining now, it wasn't late at night and she turned down her tv volume once the song was done.

he collapsed exhausted on the couch, turning on some quiet piano as his eyes drooped closed.

your show finished after an hour and you started getting a little sleepy so you decided to take a nap on your couch.

you weren't sure how much time had passed but you woke up on the floor, your hip aching. you had fallen off of your couch in your sleep. you groaned as you sat up.

Spencer jolted awake at the sudden thud from upstairs, his eyes shooting open and his heart racing. he wasn't sure if he was more annoyed at the fact that she woke him up, or how she woke him up. but he felt bad, it sounded like a person falling. was she ok? what if she was hurt and he was sat here rolling his eyes about it? it was very late, his clock read 1:34am.

he was curious to meet her finally...and maybe going upstairs would make her more conscious and considerate of her poor, tired downstairs neighbor.

should he check on her?

you were startled by the knock at your door, glancing over at the clock and seeing how late it was. you cursed yourself for putting an obnoxious wreath on your door because it was covering your peep hole. you grabbed a baseball bat that you kept hidden under your table.

just as Spencer was about to walk away, the door opened and his eyes gazed up from the floor to finally see the face of his insufferable upstairs neighbor.

"Spencer? are you alright? come in. what are you doing at my house in the middle of the night?" you chuckled, tossing the baseball bat aside.

"no way.." he breathed in utter disbelief, looking around for a roommate that could be the one making all the noise.

"um...what?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

his mind moving a mile a minute and suddenly it all made sense. the music was the same as what you played in the car because it was your playlist. the steps were obviously female because they were yours that he'd often heard echo around the office. and you had never crossed paths because he took the train, and you took your car, so you would never leave at the same time. and you were always home when he was because you'd come back from cases at weird hours.

"i should have baked you a cake," he said finally breaking the silence.

you let out a confused laugh, "why?"

"so i could write 'kindly shut the hell up' on it with icing." he laughed as your eyes widened as your brain connected the dots.

"IM THE ANNOYING UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR?!" your hand flew to cover your mouth, embarrassed at your volume level this late at night.

"i cant believe i didn't connect the dots!" he laughed, dumbfounded.

"wait.." your eyes grew impossibly wider, "if i'm you're annoying upstairs neighbor...that makes you mystery man!"

"mystery man?"

"can i explain tomorrow its like ass o'clock in the morning right now."

he laughed, "yes but only because someone woke me up from my nap."

"i was just being neighborly."

"mhm," he hummed.

you were sleepily staring at each other, dopey smiles complimenting the comfortable silence settling in the air. the sudden butterflies erupting in your stomach startled you into breaking the silence.

"goodnight Spencer," you whispered.

"goodnight y/n." he smiled, giving a small wave before heading down the stairs back to his own apartment.

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ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @coffeereid-deactivated20210303 @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9

[oneprompt]

ITS ME AGAINN HI LOVE!! I love your writing I cannot resist <3. Maybe, a one night stand with ace ? (Nsfw I’m down bad yes….) and female reader. it’s kind of like the typical one night stand, you meet somewhere and things get heated quickly…. BUT ALSO LIKE you’re literally the best he’s ever had and he’s pretty surprised UMM IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE 😭😭 IK IM KIND OF AWKWARD HAHA but I hope you’re having a good afternoon 🧡

authors note: hello , dolly <3 im deeply sorry for doing this so late ;; hopefully this makes up for the wait... please indulge yourself to the fullest + i just realized how short this is .. my apologies ;; i’ll make sure to make your next request the best i possibly can ..

NSFW WARNING BELOW , DO NOT READ IF SUCH A TOPIC IS DISCOMFORTING.

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Ace x F! Reader , One Night Stand Oneshot

tags : ( brief mentions of ) alcohol , vaginal sex , rough sex , ( brief + slight ) masochism

All it took was a few cups of vodka to have you two landed upon each other, limbs tangled up, pleasure coursing through your veins. It had all happened so fast, you could hardly remember what had happened.

You merely attended a party full of different crews, a banquet of sorts. Not a fancy one, no. A fun one, one that disregarded the need for cotton shirts and newly shined shoes. you had met Ace, chatting up a storm with the young man. Well, less chatting and more so flirting. Wether it was through seductive purrs or the occasional rub of a palm against his scorching skin. You two didn’t bother to hide your shameless flirting throughout the party. Not that it was a huge deal, most people went there trying to make their way into the pants of others

You had no shame as you and Ace went off to a more private area. I mean, what was there to be ashamed of? Who didn’t want to sleep with Fire Fist Ace?

And now, you laid down upon your stomach, Ace’s hands wandering your body. One spread out your soaking hole, your greedy pussy dripping with excitement. His other hand stayed gripping your hip tightly, preventing you from squirming away.

“You’re so wet, Y/n... what’s that all about?” Ace cooed out in a rather teasing tone, showing zero regards for the blush that perked upon your cheeks after he said that. He knew exactly what it was about, he just wanted to hear you say that.

You buried your face further into the depth of the pillows that laid atop of the bed sheets. “You know exactly what that’s about,” you huffed, which caused a raspy laugh to fall from Ace’s well sculpted frame. You could just tell what face he was making, just from the tone of his voice. An endless plane of smugness splayed across his freckled features. What a dick.

You were about to snap back with a snarky remark but your thought process was cut off as soon as you felt a sudden sense of fullness intrude the depths of your cunt. God, he was big. Was he in all the way? You couldn’t help but wonder. Part of you hoped so, as his dick was already pressed firmly within you but you also couldn’t help but wonder what pained pleasure could come from it being even larger.

A loud moan was swallowed by the pillows your face was pressed into, the cotton absorbing the noise you made as Ace slammed balls deep into your warmth. He was far bigger then you could’ve imagined. But again, what should you have expected from the son of the late Pirate King? You should’ve expected nothing but the best.

You continued producing lewd noises, ones that consistently were swallowed by the pillows. Ace really didn’t hold back, never ending the blunt force of his hips, his hips quaking desperately to fill you with every inch of him. You felt so god damn good, the way your insides clutched upon his shaft made Ace’s body tremble with ecstasy everytime he pulled back to push further in.

You were so good, almost too good. You were merely a one night stand, a woman who could surely extend into a friend after this night. Just a friend and nothing more. Well, that’s what Ace had planned. Ace wasn’t low enough to have sex with a girl and never speak to her again but he had planned to just become your friend, nothing like a boyfriend or anything of the sort. But with the way you writhed and tightened on him, it was giving him second thoughts. You were far too delicious to only feast on once, he knew that.

The view of your ass shaking with the needless pounding of his dick was a view he couldn’t pass up. Everything about you was perfect. The moans you let out were painfully erotic and the way your body was highlighted with sweat was far too sexy for him to ignore.

Perhaps... you’d be happy enough to be his fuck buddy or better, his partner. Ace wasn’t sure about status yet but all he knew was that he couldn’t let you go, he couldn’t let this type of sex slip through his fingers so easily.

And so, he didn’t. Even if it was just for tonight, Ace would use you to the fullest, pumping your pussy full of his musky semen, filling you to the brim. You were too good, certainly the best woman he had ever done such a thing with, upon all of his voyages.

And you were so hot. Everything about you made him go crazy, it seemed. It was that way even as the night was young. The way you fluttered your lashes at him as your hand would playfully collide with his shoulder made him tent in his pants every so slightly. You were too much for him. Ace wanted you more then anything. The thought of you screaming his name through the entire night never ceased to be. When you approached him in your rather skimpy outfit, Ace could only imagine bending you backwards upon the bar, taking you then and there. Now, he could. And there was no way in hell he would pass up the chance to milk this.

Even if he wasn’t aware, the feeling was just as mutual. You had been purposefully rubbing up on him all night, wether accidentally letting your thighs rub against Ace’s as you would get up to talk to your friends or placing your hands on his arms to ‘feel’ his muscles and inspect his tattoos. All of that had made your crotch ace and drip, every inch of him was infatuating to you. You couldn’t believe Ace would even do such a thing with you.

Many women could only imagine being plowed by Portgas D. Ace, son of Gol D. Roger. And you were one of the few women to have him inside of you, that feeling alone was electrifying. You could only imagine the jealous glares you’d receive if anyone found out. Part of you wanted that, yearned to see people jealous over you, over the fact you were drenched with Ace’s cum and repeatedly rocked back and fourth by his girthy dick.

“Ace!” You cried out, throat growing dry and tight from the strong strain of your vocal chords. This was too much for you, it felt so good. The way Ace used his hips with euphoric, he was one of few men who knew what to do with their bodies, surely. It was magical, running from your overstimulated brain to your curled toes. “I think...i’m going to cum!” You whimpered our, voice filling the room, pillows no longer capable of containing the beast.

Beads of sweat dribbled down Ace’s well built chest, grazing the hues of his nipples. He looked down at your body, feeling your walls close upon him, squeezing him as if they were yearning for his seed.

The sensation of Ace’s thick cum shooting into you triggered something deep inside of you, breaking your self control in two pieces. The way it reached your deepest parts made your eyes roll back, long lashes dotted with hot tears.

Your fluid coated his dick, slinking it’s way downward to his balls. Your arousal painted his shaft and the sheets that held you two, becoming damp with both sweat and cum.

Ace hadn’t bothered to pull out, yet didn’t move. The room was merely full of nearly eternal panting and gasping, shaky breaths acting almost endless. It took you quite a bit to muster up the energy to speak, your brain still rendered useless from all the pleasure.

“That was amazing...” You looked back at Ace, giving him a tired smile. Your heart sunk as you noticed Ace smirk widely, snickering ever so slightly. Oh boy....

“Who says we’re done, Y/n?” Ace whispered huskily, pushing his black curls backward, wiping sweat from his brow as he stared down at your nude form.

[reidgraygubler]

peanut buttercup (matthew gray gubler/reader)

Title: Peanut Buttercup

Anon Requested: Hi so I been asking for this request for awhile but no one seems to do it. I was wondering if you could write a Matthew Gray Gubler x Fem! Reader. And they have a 5 year old kid. They both work together on Criminal minds and play each other’s love interest. One day their babysitter cancels and they have to bring their kid to set. They have a balance taking care of a kid and filming. And can you possibly add that Matthew is filming one of his unauthorize documentary and he includes his kid. I would really love to read this.

Couple: Dad!Matthew Gray Gubler/Fem!reader

Category: fluff

Content Warning: swearing, Dad!Mgg, mentions of being sick

Word Count: 5,076

Summary: When reader and Matthew’s babysitter cancels on them on a last minute notice, they’re forced to bring their 5-year-old daughter, Tallulah ‘Peanut’, to set. Matthew and Reader have to re-learn to balance filming, on set tomfoolery, and taking care of their daughter. 

A/N: i literally love this request so much, it’s so cute and makes me feel so soft. I really needed to write some cute fluff after everything im writing, especially for a different type of high… so thank you for sending this in. i think we need more dad!mgg fluff too, we stan dad!mgg. So, meet tallulah jane ‘peanut’ gubler, and reader ‘buttercup’ gubler :))) im so soft right now. thanks for all the love and support! check out my masterlist! 

{***}{***}{***}

It was… quiet. Quite possibly too quiet. Especially for a house that has 2 actors and a five-year-old daughter. I was getting the chance to sleep in a little later than normal, and there's no husband or little girl begging for breakfast. Maybe husband took her on a morning jaunt? No, that'd be too ambitious for him, and even for her. Or, maybe he put a movie on and she's actually watching. Or maybe- frick, nevermind. I clearly spoke too soon and had my hopes too high. The pitter-patter of little feet, followed by the louder footsteps of an adult man came running into the bedroom.

"Tallulah," Matthew's voice was soft, like he was whispering but knew it'd be useless. Because once she got up into the bed, I was starting to wake up more.

"Mommy, mommy! Wake up! Wake up!" A little girl's voice shouted as she jumped on the bed. I kept the blanket over my body and groaned as a small body jumped on top of mine.

"5 more minutes," I pretended to whine as I pulled my blanket over my head. I could hear Matthew's laughter as Tallulah jumped into my body. I groaned at the sudden weight on my still tired body. "Okay, okay I'm awake," I tiredly spoke as I sat up. Tallulah fell onto the bed beside me in a fit of laughter.

Matthew was already dressed and what seemed ready for the day. His glasses sitting on his nose, and his hair falling perfectly around his face. A bizarre patterned shirt, that I wouldn't be surprised if Tallulah picked it, hung off his frame, paired with a pair of jeans and his converse. How long had he been awake? 

"I tried telling her you wanted 5 more minutes," Matthew laughed as he looked at me. I looked back at him and smiled, before looking down at our daughter, who was still laughing. Her beautiful brown and curly locks of hair, though somewhat a ratty mess, covered her face just enough to show her toothy smile and brown/hazel eyes. "She just wouldn't listen. She wanted to know what you wanted for breakfast," Matthew smiled as he sat beside me on the edge of the bed.

"Breakfast!?" I exclaimed as I looked down at Tallulah. She looked up at me and smiled before rolling around on her back. "I guess that’s up to you, Peanut," I smiled as I placed a hand on her stomach.

"Pancakes!" She sat up and looked at me. I looked over at Matthew and smiled. The amusement he wore on his face made me feel happy. Of course, no matter what his daughter did, he was amused or happy. I don’t blame him though, she’s basically the mini-me version of him.

"Pancakes!? That sounds like a great idea!" I brushed her hair away from her face, "how about you and daddy get started in those while I take a quick shower and get ready for the day?" I asked with a smile. I glanced back at Matthew, silently telling him to help me out with this. “Maybe make me some chocolate chip pancakes? Oh! Or a few apple cinnamon?” I smiled at him. Matthew laughed at my enthusiasm for pancakes.

"Sounds like a solid plan to me," Matthew stood up and placed his fists in his hips. Tallulah looked between Matthew and me before falling off the bed in a sensible style. 

"Sounds like a plan," she copied Matthew's action and looked up at him with a smile. I smiled and watched as the pair marched out of the room. 

I sighed deeply before lying back again for a minute. I knew the second I left my bed, mommy mode would have to be fully turned on for the morning. Although mommy mode was way more preferable than actor mode, I just get to be around my favorite little girl and it makes me happy. 

Time, unfortunately, was not on my side. It was nearing the time Marianne (Tallulah’s nanny) would be here, and Matthew and I would have to leave for work. Which all meant I had about 15 minutes to shower, get dressed, and actually get ready for the day.

Once I was finished showering and getting dressed, I went to the kitchen where I knew I'd find Matthew and Tallulah. The sweet smell of apple cinnamon pancakes found its to my nose. 

“Those pancakes smell amazing!” I spoke as I entered the kitchen. Matthew was standing beside Tallulah, gently brushing out her knotty hair. “I can't wait to have one,” I looked down at Tallulah, “did you help make them, Tj?”

“Yeeeah!” She exclaimed as she put her fork in her mouth. 

“Did you also help make the mess?” I looked around the counter at the mess that suddenly appeared overnight. Matthew looked down at Tallulah, who was looking up at him with wide eyes. She was obviously whispering something to him, causing Matthew to laugh. 

“That was, uh… That was Rumple Buttercup,” Matthew nodded as he looked back up at me. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. “He came up here just as you got into the shower and made the biggest mess? Isn’t that right, Peanut?” Matthew looked back down at her and wink.

“Yeah! It was Rumbellercup.” She looked at me with a cheesy smile. 

“Right,” I faked an amused smile before nodding. I quietly grabbed a sponge and began wiping up the sticky flour mess on the countertop. “Well, next time, Rumple Buttercup should stick around and clean up,” I smiled as I looked over at the two.  

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about the mess,” Matthew winked at me. I rolled my eyes before continuing my cleaning. Well, tried to continue before being stopped by my phone ringing. 

“Phone!” Tallulah shouted as she pointed towards me and my phone. I looked up at her and smiled.

“Looks like it’s Marianne,” I looked at the screen, noticing her name, “Wonder why she isn’t here yet,” I spoke before answering.

“Hey, Marianne! We were just talking about you!” I smiled as I tossed the icky sponge into the sink.

“I’m really sorry, Mrs. Gubler,” her voice was low as she spoke. I furrowed my eyebrows and cocked my head, “I’m afraid I have to cancel. I can’t babysit Tallulah today?”

“What do you mean you have to cancel?” I asked, I honestly had my answer the second she sneezed, then coughed, then sneezed again. “You know something, it’s okay,” “I’m really sorry, Mrs. Gubler,” she spoke through a cough. I cringed as I looked over at my husband and five-year-old. I could sense that she was talking about something, and he was doing his best to keep up and understand whatever it was she was saying. 

“It’s okay! It’s okay, really. I hope you feel much better. Take all the time you need,” I insisted as I rested my hand on the counter, “We’ll figure something out. I just hope you feel better,” I frowned as I kept my eyes on the two. 

“Again, I’m so sorry,” Marianne whispered. I bit my lips back and shook my head.

“Get some rest. Call if you need anything,” I replied before hanging up. I placed my phone on the counter before going to grab things for lunch for Tallulah. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Matthew looked up at me as he brushed Tallulah’s hair into two pigtails. He had a certain look of worry on his face as he looked at me. I looked up at him as I made a ham and cheese sandwich. Hopefully, she enjoys a sandwich with all the fruit snacks a five-year-old could consume (which, unfortunately, was a lot), and some actual fruit. I'm sure when on our way home we'll stop somewhere for dinner or late lunch. That's hope it usually works when Tallulah comes to set with us.

“Marianne is sick. Can’t babysit today,” I frowned as I looked between him and Tallulah. Tallulah was too busy eating her pancakes and rambling about Alvin and The Chipmunks (specifically about how Theodore was her favorite, not Simon) to actually care about our conversation. 

“Really,” Matthew looked at me and dropped his shoulders. He puffed his cheeks a little bit before frowning, “No one else?” 

“I mean, I could call Aj and see if her babysitter can watch Little Miss, but that’d be a lot for one lady,” I paused as I looked down at our daughter, “Or we could bring her. You know how much everyone on set loves seeing her,” I shrugged as I looked up at him. Even though it was a lot of work bringing a five-year-old to set, we both loved it. The balance between working and taking care of her was a bit rough, but we always made it work. 

“We could do that, we have a couple of scenes together, I’m sure we could get Kirsten or someone to be with her for that time,” he looked down at his daughter before adjusting her pigtails, “Maybe even convince the writers to give Spencer and Mollie a daughter,” he looked back at me and winked. I shook my head.

“You should finish getting her ready because we have to go soon,” I pointed out. Matthew looked down at Tallulah with a smile before shrugging.

“Alright, let’s go, Peanut!” Matthew spoke as he lifted Tallulah up and stood her up on the table. I looked at the two and smiled.

“You get to come to work with me and daddy today,” I walked over to them and readjusted her crocked pigtails, and carefully pinched her cheeks, “That means you get to see Auntie Kirsten, Auntie Aj, Auntie Pag, and everyone else,” I smiled and watched as Matthew lifted her up on to his hip. 

“Yay!” Tallulah shouted once she was clinging to Matthew’s side. The two of them closely resembled a Koala. She grabbed Matthew’s face, a hand on either side, to get his attention, “Daddy’s work,” she whispered. I smiled, already looking forward to the shenanigans that was about to happen during our day. Whenever we bring Tallulah to set for a visit, almost everyone wants to spend time with her. And she sucks up all the attention. She’s got everyone wrapped around her tiny little finger. 

“Go pick out some cool clothes with daddy while I finish making your lunch. Sounds good?” I looked at her. She smiled and nodded before looking at Matthew. 

“Let’s go get out of your jammies,” Matthew spoke, tugging on her Elsa nightgown. The two walked away and towards her bedroom. I  seriously hope he’ll help her pick out something nice to wear and not let her wear a princess dress. I love it, but not today. {***}{***}{***}

“You gotta be a good girl for mom and I, okay? You can watch us while we work, but you gotta be super quiet,” Matthew held a finger up to his lips, as if he was telling Tallulah to be quiet. She smiled before copying his action. “Can you do that?”

“I can do that,” she enthusiastically nodded once Matthew set her on the ground. I squatted beside her and gave her a few quiet toys and coloring books as Matthew went to talk to one of the assistants/interns nearby. 

“Look, we packed your favorite coloring book,” I smiled as I placed the coloring book on the ground beside her. She grabbed the crayons from me and poured them out. I looked at her for a moment before standing upright.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t just have her in the trailer? It’d be safer for, well, everyone. And if we check on her every so often,” I looked at Matthew once he was back beside me. We walked side by side back towards wardrobe and makeup. 

“Nah, it’s fine. One of the interns said they’d watch her. And then we can get one of the makeup artists to watch her. You know how much they love her,” Matthew smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I remembered the day we visited set after Tallulah was born. Other than Kirsten and AJ, the makeup artists were the ones to not leave our side because they loved her so much. I honestly didn’t blame them. “Don’t stress so much about this, Buttercup, this isn’t the first time she’s had to come to set with up. And you know for a fact it won’t be the last time,” he stopped right in front of the door to the makeup studio. “She’ll do a great job,” he smiled before hugging me. 

“I know, I know. She’s just a lot older than she was the last time she came with us. And I know something will happen,” I sighed, pressing my face into his shoulder. Matthew laughed as he squeezed me tightly. 

“And, if she does, we’ll take a break, bring to the trailer, and calm her down. C’mon, you know she’s a great kid,” he looked down at me as he rested his hands on my shoulders. I laughed as I looked up at him.

“That’s because she’s your kid,” I nodded before stepping away from and entering the makeup studio.

Of course, luck was not really on our side. We were a few hours left of filming, Tallulah had been doing a great job, staying quiet and playing with one of the make up artists. Until she bashed her head into a table, causing her to go into full hysterics. 

“I got it, I’m done for the day anyways,” Aj looked at me from her space on the ground, away fro the raised set, “She’ll be okay. I can make all little girl boo-boos go away,” she smiled before stepping up to me. I looked at her before looking over at Matthew, who was already over soothing our daughter. 

“I owe you big,” I walked up to her, “You know we have stuff in our trailer for her. I think it might be naptime,” I looked at her, feeling the worry in my brow.

“Got it, naptime,” Aj gave me a thumbs up before stepping off the set. I watched as she carefully approached Matthew and Tallulah. Tears were still fresh in her eyes, but she was laughing at whatever it was Matthew was telling her. I could feel a smile tugging on my lips as I watch Aj grasp Tallulah’s hand, leading her away from the studio. 

“She’ll be fine,” Matthew smiled at me before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. I hummed before stepping away from him.

“Oh, I know that, I don’t doubt. I’m just tired, I suppose,” I rubbed the underside of my nose, “But, we’re almost done,” I nodded with a smile. I was just happy we were able to get back to work pretty quickly after the temper tantrum.

{***}{***}{***}

“I think we’ve got what we needed for today! That’s a wrap!” The director shouted to everyone on set. I allowed my shoulders to slump as a yawn worked its way through my mouth. Matthew laughed as he looked over at me.

“You definitely needed those extra five minutes,” he spoke as he shrugged off his ‘Spencer Reid’ blazer. I yawned, again, and nodded. 

“Suppose that’s life with a 5-year-old,” I stepped off the set with him and walked beside him towards our trailer, “Do you want to go get that girl in question, or should I?” I raised an eyebrow once we were both in the privacy of our small trailer. 

“You should. I want to do something real quick,” he pecked my lips real quick as he walked towards the backend of the trailer. I looked down at the few toys that were thrown around the floor, before grabbing Tallulah’s backpack and sweater. 

“You want to do something? What would that be?” I asked, throwing the strap of the backpack over my shoulder. A moment later, Matthew stepped back towards me, wearing a Babygirl hat that Shemar got for him, and a purple scarf that he totally stole from me. “You look like a douchebag,” I scoffed as I turned towards the door, “You’re lucky I love you, and that we’re married,” I turned back and looked at him for a moment. 

“I think you’re the lucky one, Buttercup,” Matthew spoke to me as I stepped off the trailer. I laughed and shook my head. “Not everyone can score this,” he spoke as he gestured towards his body. I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, are you going to let me go get our kid? Or are you going to pull me into whatever it is you have planned,” I asked with a sly smile on my lips. 

“Should probably go get Tallulah,” he shrugged as he followed beside me. I looked at him and allowed him to kiss me softly. “Good luck,” 

“I’ll need all the luck in the world,” I laughed before peeling away from him. I could hear him talking to someone as I walked away, and I could only imagine it was one of the cameramen. 

Usually Aj took her out of the studio the second the tantrum started, bringing somewhere quiet. Usually, it was our trailer, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were there for a bit, but I knew after naps it was always snack time. So, I went towards the cafeteria.

“Mommy!” A little voice shouted from across the room. My eyes scanned around, looking for my little girl and friend. Aj was sitting at one of the tables with Tallulah on her lap. Tallulah was busy, eating chicken nuggets that Aj must’ve gotten for her. So much better than a ham and cheese sandwich.

“Hey, Peanut!” I exclaimed as I sat across from them at the table. I glanced at Aj and smiled, silently telling her thank you. “Did you have a fun time with Auntie Aj?” I looked back down at Tallulah.

“Yeah!” She exclaimed before shoving a whole chicken nugget in her mouth. I raised my eyebrows and laughed.

“We took a nap, colored, played with some dolls, and then we were hungry,” Aj looked up at me as she listed their activities during the last few hours. I nodded and leaned over the table.

“That sounds like a great time. I wish I could take a nap,” I sighed before stealing one of her nuggets. Tallulah glared at me as I munched on the food. “I wanna see your drawings!” I smiled at her. Tallulah turned and looked up Aj, asking her to show the drawings she made.

“Tada!” she beamed as she showed me her drawings. I looked down at the 4 sheets of paper with a multitude of colors. One of them was easily imaged as a family portrait and I could easily point out Matthew and me, and Tallulah. Another one was just a tornado of colors, with animal stickers placed around them. And the last two pictures were coloring pages we had printed off, a Disney princess and a picture of Alvin and the Chipmunks (again, it’s her favorite movie… And not because her dad is in it).

“These are awesome, Peanut!” I looked back up at her with an excited smile, “I’m sure you had such a great time with Auntie AJ! I can’t wait to hear about it all! What do you say to her?” I looked at Tallulah as I brushed hair away from her face.

“Thank you, Auntie AJ,” Tallulah looked up at Aj with a bright, cheesy smile. Aj returned the smile as she looked at my daughter.

“Of course! I had a wonderful time with you! You be good for mom and dad, okay?” Aj asked before offering a hug. Tallulah squealed before throwing her arms around Aj. I smiled, watching the pair interact.

“Should we go find daddy? I’m sure he’d love to see your drawings!” I asked stood up. Aj helped Tallulah to the ground before standing up herself. Aj handed me Tallulah’s stuffed animal and a few of her other things. “Thank you so much, Aj,” I smiled at her.

“Of course, you know I love watching her,” she returned the smile, “Seriously, if you need help with you, you know I’m always available, even on set,” she hugged me.

“Of course, again thank you so much,” I returned the hug before letting her leave. Tallulah watched as Aj walked away, before looking up at me with a smile, “Let’s find dad,” I smiled before offering her my hand. She grabbed it before walking beside me. I handed her stuffed animal back to her as we left the cafeteria. 

“Are you going to show daddy your pictures?” I looked down at Tallulah. She was holding a small stack of papers in her hand as she skipped beside me. Her stuffed animal was now stuffed under her arm since her hands were too busy holding her drawings and she didn’t want me to hold it. “You did a good job with your family portrait,” I looked at the papers in her hand. She was looking down at that very picture with a big smile on her face. 

“Yeah!” She looked up at me and gushed. I chuckled as she hugged her pictures close to her chest. 

“Do you think he’ll like them?” I looked up and saw Matthew at a bit of a distance, someone standing beside him as he talked. He was moving around a lot, which told me he was up to something.  

“Yeah!” Tallulah exclaimed as she added a little bit of a skip to her step. And that skip in her step told me that she was excited. Well, it was more than the skip in her step. It was also the sweet-tooth, cheek-achingly, adorable smile she wore on her precious little face. 

“Do you think he’ll… Love it?” I looked down at her for a moment. She stopped walking for a second as she looked down at the picture she had drawn. Tallulah was definitely blessed with Matthew’s sense of style when it came to art (and clothing), which was lovely. She’ll be something of an artist when she grows up, I’m sure of it. Especially when her family portrait has three people and two of them have 2 heads and 4 arms, and the other one has a tail. But, that’s okay. Matthew will most definitely love her drawing. I know I do.

“Love it! Love it!” She looked up at me as she jumped. I laughed and shook my head. She looked down at the pictures again before holding them up to me. I raised an eyebrow before taking them from her to hold. 

“Well, I know I love them,” I looked back down at her. As we continued walking, she kept talking about what she got to do with Kirsten and Aj. Her babble was still a little bit incoherent, but I knew what she was saying. God bless Kirsten though. “I’m kinda hungry, do you think daddy will let us get McDonald’s on the way home?” I looked back down at her as she grabbed my hand.

“McDonald’s?” She looked at me with wide eyes. Let me just put that into my child’s mind so she can ask Matthew. Because everyone knows it’s hard to say no to the Gubler child. No one knows better than Matthew. 

Unfortunately, our conversations ended there. Because as we turned the corner, Matthew’s voice could be heard. I looked up and saw him standing beside our trailer. The second Tallulah would hear his voice, she would be off and glued to him, instead of me. What a little daddy’s girl.

“Who the fuck is that?” Matthew half-shouted to the cameraman beside him. Even though we were a good distance away from him, I could still hear the words he was saying. I was grateful that Tallulah couldn’t hear him. We both know she’d repeat any word she knows she’s not allowed to say. And since he was standing beside a cameraman, I knew he was filming one of his Unauthorized Documentaries. “Who the fuck is that,” he pulled the cameraman and pointed him towards Tallulah and I. This man and his swearing around his 5-year-old. I swear. 

“Daddy! Daddy!” Tallulah shouted once grew closer to him. She let go of my hand before sprinting away from me and towards Matthew. When she was close enough to him, she jumped into the air and Matthew caught her. “Guess what, Daddy!” She shouted into his ear. Matthew laughed as he looked over at me. 

“What, Peanut?” He asked, swinging her around so she was on his back. Sort of like a monkey with its baby. It was Tallulah’s favorite way to be carried. “You got to hang out with Kirsten and Aj while mommy and I worked, right?” He looked over his shoulder at his daughter. She laughed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

 “Yeah!” she looked over at me as I got closer to them. I shuffled the few pictures before flipping them around to show him. “Auntie Kirsten and Auntie Aj let me color!” Tallulah, again, shouted into his ear. Matthew looked at the pictures in my hands and smiled.

“Woah! Peanut, these are awesome! Are you going to be an artist like dad?” He looked over his shoulder and at Tallulah. I smiled as I shuffled the pictures to show more of them.

“Yeeeah,” she smiled before pressing her face into his shoulder, like she was hiding. I smiled before stepping up to him. Matthew smiled before pecking my lips. 

“Little Miss and I are starving,” I grabbed his hand and swung it beside me.

“Starving?!” Matthew spoke loud so Tallulah could hear him. A little giggle came from her as she readjusted her position, “Well, we can’t have that! Where do you want to eat, Peanut?” 

“McDonalds!” 

“McDonalds?” Matthew looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. I smiled and looked down at the ground, “Let’s fucking go then!” Matthew half shouted as he jumped. Tallulah giggled as she hugged her arms tighter around his neck, almost nearly suffocating him. 

“Matthew,” I looked at him with the signature mom glare I adopted from my own mother. He looked over at me as he placed a hand on his daughter’s arms. He knew exactly what the glare was meant for. Swearing in front of our 5-year-old. Of course, we both knew that wouldn’t be the first or last time he’d swear in front of her.

“Daddy said fuck!” Tallulah shouted before laughing. Matthew looked at me with an apologetic look in his eye before swinging Tallulah off his back and on to his hip. I cocked my head as I placed my hands on my hips. “Fuck!” She repeated, shouting the word at Matthew. And, again, this wouldn’t be the last time she repeated a swear word.

“Now, Tallulah, that is a mommy and daddy word. You know you shouldn’t say that. Just because mommy or daddy does, doesn’t mean you can,” he looked at her. She pouted before nodded. Thankfully, she actually understood when to not say swear words, she also understood what “mommy and daddy” words were. “Got it?” Matthew looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. She looked up at him and stuck up her thumb.

“Got it!” She smiled before throwing her arms around his neck. Matthew laughed before picking her back up.

“Now, let’s go get some happy meals,” Matthew spoke as he pointed towards the direction of our car. I sighed deeply, walking the opposite direction towards our trailer, knowing they’ll both know we need to stop by there before we leave.

{***}{***}{***}

“She asleep?” I asked, glancing away from my script as Matthew entered the room. He pulled his shirt off as he went towards his closet.

“She’s always insistent on Rumple Buttercup, but almost never makes it to the end,” he laughed as he put his pajamas on. I smiled as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe it’s time you wrote a second one… Give Rumple Buttercup a brother or sister,” I laughed as I rubbed a hand on his back. He looked over his shoulder with a smile before getting comfortable in the bed beside me.

“You know… I’ve been thinking,” Matthew started as he moved closer to me. I looked up from my script and over at him with a raised eyebrow. Something was telling me he wasn’t going to continue talking about a second Rumple Buttercup book… “What if Tallulah had a little brother or sister,” he asked as he looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. I couldn’t help but burst out with laughter. I felt bad for my laughter, mostly because I knew he wanted a second child. But, we were running slim on time with that.

“She is too much of a daddy’s girl to share with anyone, including me, Matthew,” I closed my script as I looked up at him. He looked genuinely hurt with my laughter and comment. “Besides, I thought we were good with the one,” I gestured towards her room.

“But, what if we had another one,” he shrugged. I dropped my shoulders and sighed, but kept a smile on my lips nonetheless. “C’mon, two! That’s a perfect number!” “Two is a perfect number,” I swallowed roughly as I looked down at the bedding in front of me. I couldn’t help but allow the smile on my lips to grow. “And she wouldn’t be alone on family trips,” I mused as I glanced over at him. Matthew was looking at me with the excitement of a kid in a candy store. “You don’t think we should talk about this first? I mean, Matthew, you’re almost 40, I’m nearly 35...” I let out a small laugh.

“I think we just talked about it! And to me it sounds like we both want it,” he smiled before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed before moving away from him. 

“Okay, okay, we can try. But not right now. I’m exhausted. Maybe once Marianne is better and we don’t have to take Tallulah to set. Because that was so exhausting,” I ran a hand through his hair and smiled, “Fair?” 

“Fair,” he smiled before kissing me softly, “Love you,”

“I love you too,” 

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @thebluetint​

[bakugohoex]

Soft boy Jean trying to bake a cake for his s/o but he stuffs it up and tries to hide it, but in the end his s/o helps him remake the cake together

“make a wish”

paring: jean kirshctein x female reader

cw: kissing, language, fluff

word count: 1700+

a/n: i wrote this at 2am, i need sleep but we move, if i don’t wake up for my lesson then i’m fucked (morning me tell me if i do wake up on time right here - i woke up on time but im lying in bed) hope you liked it i needed to write some attack on titan shit and jean’s is my fave

summary: in which jean finds out it’s your birthday and decides to make a surprise cake, with limited resources, he tries but ultimately it turns into you finding out, in your oblivious state you end up helping him make a cake for yourself

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Your voice was cold as you spoke to your class, you were all nearing the end of the training corps. It had taken a toll on a lot of people, but you had remained strong and resilient to what would occur.

You knew you had worked hard enough to reach the top ten, but you were always going to join the survey corps. You would kill the titans and even to your friend Jean’s reluctance you would give your life defeating them all.

What nobody had really expected was to see Sasha smiling as she walked towards the group that you would call your friends. She had a piece of paper in her hand and you were confused at the girl. She was never normally this happy after training she was always bitey for food so what had made her go all nice.

“I finally found it Y/n.” You tilted your head in confusion as Jean looked between the two of you. “Y/n, your birthday’s in two days, why didn’t you tell us?”

You rolled your eyes, “I just don’t think birthdays mean that much in the grand scheme of things.”

“But cake.” Sasha seemed more upset about the lack of food than anything else. You rolled your eyes walking back to the garrison, you wanted clean clothes due to the sweat that encased your current clothes.

Jean’s obvious crush for you was known, they watched him as he admired you walking away. He didn’t care if you were sweaty you were still the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Even with his obvious flirting you were oblivious still believing the boy had feelings for Mikasa.

“I’m making her a cake.” Marco looked at the boy confused.

“You do realise you don’t know how to bake.” Connie spoke out loud what Marco and everybody else had been thinking.

“I’ll work something out.” Sasha seemed to be the only happy one as Mikasa hadn’t paid attention only irritating Eren to make sure he didn’t get too dirty.

Later on, after everybody had had dinner, Jean snuck out he knew how to bake a cake, he’d watched his mother, how hard could it actually be?

Careful of not waking anybody up, he creeped outside knowing where the kitchens were. He prayed there was everything he needed not wanting to have to try and found it anywhere. He walked towards the building, seeing a battered canteen it was silent and hopefully nobody would catch him.

He rolled his sleeves having still worn the uniform they were made to wear, as he got to work trying to remember what his mother had done many years ago. It wasn’t working as he put it to bake he sat on the counter wondering if he had done it right, he had all the ingredients but having a theory and no practically experience was a recipe for disaster.

Once the cake had finished he looked at the sunken cake already knowing it had failed, he had hope that it might’ve just sunk and tasted better, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, kept going through his head.

His mother would know what to do, he cut into it taking a bite before instantly spitting it into the bin. Not only having wasted the ingredients on a shitty cake but he had no idea how to make you something to show his feelings.

He signed lowering his head before he heard a cough. You were standing in front of him, his eyes widened as he removed his hands from his face. “Y/n what are y...you doing here.”

You always thought his stuttering was cute, it happened a lot around you, but you always assumed it was because Mikasa was nearby. The embarrassment Jean felt was heavy and you could sense it from a mile away. He tried hiding the cake, but you had easily spotted it as soon as he covered it with a tea towel.

“I heard Sasha in her sleep talk about you making a cake, I wanted to help.” You cheerily smiled at the boy; you didn’t know who it was for, but you assumed his mother due to visiting the Trost District in a couple days.

Jean had a sense of relief wash over him, at least you didn’t hear the frustration he had. A small brush crept along his face as you came closer leaning against the counter taking the same fork he had used to eat the cake. You cut a bit with the side before eating it, “that’s fucking gross.”

He laughed as you went to go spit it out, “what the fuck did you put in it?”

“I...i just remembered what my mother did.” He spoke out the ingredients and how much he put in it before you heard the last part. “...and about 200grams of sugar.”

You looked at the container that held the ‘sugar’ opening it before dipping your finger in it, you tasted it the salt making your mouth scrunch up. He tilted his head confused, before you bought a different finger into the salt bringing it to his mouth.

“Taste it then.” You mutter, he obeyed opening his mouth as he sucked on your finger, it would’ve been flirty if his face didn’t instantly turn sour.

“I added 200grams of salt.” You nod laughing.

“Come on let’s bake another one.” You washed your hands getting rid of both your saliva’s face your fingers.

Setting out the ingredients you showed him how to make a cake your mother had taught you how to make. She had always wanted you to marry someone from the inner walls but instead you turned and signed up for the training corps.

Making Jean help you along the way to make sure he was a part of it, you showed him how each part did different things. He listened intensively asking questions when needed and doing what he was told.

It finally went into the over as you saw some icing on the side, something somebody probably left by accident. You passed it to Jean, “write a message on top, I’m sure your mother will love it.”

“My mother?” Jean’s face fell in confusion.

“Oh, I assumed it was for her.” He looks down as he doesn’t say anything.

You didn’t know what to say to him, he was silent thinking hard, you noticed how his face would scrunch up or how a blush would erupt. He was probably thinking about Mikasa to even care about you.

You had been licking the spatula and Jean stared imagining so many lewd thoughts he wanted you and needed a way to confess properly.

The timer went off as you yawned, grabbing the cake you both waited for it to cool before he looks at you intensively.

“Turn around.” You knit your eyebrows before doing so.

You heard as he signed before he touched your shoulder, you turned back around seeing Jean holding the cake, the icing writing a message you had never expected.

‘happy birthday y/n

i love you

jean’

It was simple and caring, his name barley fitting on the cake but he had tried. He had been thinking all along about what to put on the cake before realising he should just admit he liked you.

The love part was true as well and not realising he had wrote it his face went into a heavy blush. “Y...you love me.”

You were the one stuttering now, Jean put the cake down, “I do.”

“I thought you liked Mikasa.”

“It was a crush that I got over as soon as i saw you.” He admitted, he looked directly at you as you tried to not meet eye contact.

A silence grew as you didn’t know what to say the words finally falling from your lips, “i love you too.”

That’s all he needed to hear to walk towards you bringing you closer to his body, he cupped your face, your breathing heavy at the excitement you were feeling. Your hands went to cup his nodding to tell him to go for it. His lips attached to yours, the taste of the batter lingered in your mouth.

He pushed you against the countertop, his hands moving from your face as it moved to your legs lifting you onto the counter top. Your heights becoming the same, your hands remained on his face bringing him closer the way you moaned making his tongue travel inside of your mouth. Spit and saliva mixed as you craved more, his hands on your back making you arch forward.

He wanted your body on his own and as the kiss deepened, your breathing became heavier, the consistent kisses between trying to get air before going at it again with the long passionate kisses were repetitive. You didn’t want it to stop, but as your breathing got heavier he finally let go. You were both out of breath having not kissed someone in a while.

The kiss had felt new almost as if it was long awaited, he watched and admired your breathless state, your dishevelled hair and tired eyes. “Let’s have some cake.”

You nodded as you remained sitting on the counter top, you had already put everything away and washed up the only thing left being the forks you would use to eat the cake. He held the cake standing in front of you, he brought a box of matches out. “I haven’t got a candle.”

You laugh as he lit the match putting it up to your face, “make a wish.” You blow softly as he feels your breath on his finger, cutting up some pieces he brings it to you, smiling as he eats the cake you both made.

“Now this is a cake.” You laugh as his salt cake had gone in the bins. You both had been relatively quiet so didn’t expect anybody to come in.

“What’d you wish for?” Jean asks after finishing the cake, it had been a small cake so you both ate it easily without any hesitation. Knowing you’d end up losing it from training anyway.

You both walked outside watching the moon, Jean’s hand creeping into your own as you entangled your fingers together. He smiles as you finally answered, “my wish already happened.”

He understood as you smiled up at the boy, you gave him a small kiss on his lips, filled with happiness of a future. He smiled back walking you back to your room, he’d never admit it, but this was probably the best nights of his life. He had finally gotten you and it was as if everything had fit into place, you were together and not even the Titans could ruin that for you.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alaina-rose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage​ @jennammaee​ @cathy8taffy

[2dmenenthusiast]

Grounded - Levi Ackerman x Reader

I had this whole thing typed out but it all got deleted cuz im an idiot so all I’ll say is that writing for Levi is hella difficicult, I hate the ending, and I hope you all enjoy. also yes there is a line from TWD in here but it fit so perfectly and it was too good to pass up okay? and I gave Hange they/them pronouns btw

(also one of my favorite fanfic writers @phen0l​ followed me and uhh I just wanna say that I’m honored?? They write amazing Levi fics and fics for other fandoms, so make sure to go check them out)

Summary: The Scouts are getting ready for the 57th expedition outside the walls, and you can’t help but let Levi know how worried you feel about the possible outcome of the mission

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings/other info: swearing, angst, death, spoilers for AOT season 1, reader has possible anxiety, reader is kept gender nuetral

No matter how many times you face them, no matter how many times you find yourself suspended in mid-air right over their gaping mouths, ready to swallow you whole, you will always have nightmares about that one fateful day in Shiganshina. The day the Colossal Titan kicked in Wall Maria and let his friends feast on the people in your district. Your friends, family, all destined to be one thing at that moment. Titan fodder. You still wonder how you made it out sometimes. How through all the commotion, a titan didn’t target you and scoop you into its mouth, effectively sealing your fate just like everyone around you. You chalked it up to luck at first before telling yourself that was bullshit. Luck didn’t have anything to do with it. Shit just happens, and there’s nothing you can do about it besides roll with the punches and try your best to survive.

The sight of your sister and father being eaten by those beasts was permanently engraved behind your eyelids, seeing flashes of their thrashing, screaming bodies whenever you close your eyes to go to sleep. In those moments, you always wondered why you survived rather than them. Your sister… she was the sweetest little thing, lighting up a room whenever she smiled and constantly greeting you at the door with a hug whenever you came back from shopping in town. You swore her laugh was all you needed to take you right out of a bad mood, reminding you that things weren’t so bad if you had someone so full of joy in your life. And your father, while he was stubborn, he made sure to take care of his family the best he could, and you were forever grateful for that. He raised you to be strong and rely on yourself because in the end, the only person you truly had on your side was you.

No one really knew about your past. Well, besides your superiors who needed to know, but other than them, your fellow cadets knew the bare minimum about your private life. Although, when they found out you were from Shiganshina, they all just automatically assumed you suffered a great loss of some kind, whether it be your family or your home. In your case, it was both. Of course, you were close with some of the other soldiers. Eld and Petra were people you considered to be good friends with, along with the rest of your captain’s squad. Though, that didn’t stop you from wanting to deck Oluo in the face whenever he got too cocky, throwing his arm around your shoulders during lunch before immediately removing it when you would elbow him in the ribs.

“Jeez, Oluo. You think you’d learn by now. What is this, the fifth, sixth time?” Petra asked, pushing a stray hand of hair behind her ear.

“Seventh,” you chimed as you brought a spoonful of soup up to your mouth.

“Aw, you’ve been keeping count. That must mean you actually like me.”

You raised an eyebrow as you looked over at him, placing the spoon back in your bowl before licking the remaining soup off of your lips. “You know this food is still steaming. Don’t make me throw it at your old ass face.”

He let out a noise of protest while the rest of the table laughed, and you snickered to yourself before shifting your gaze to meet Levi’s, his steely eyes almost piercing through you before he looked down into his cup and tuned back into the conversation his commander and squad leader Hange were having, watching as the dark liquid swirled around.

You always knew Levi to be a man of few words, but a strong sense of purpose. He wasn’t one to waste time on trivial things, always wanting to get straight to the point. He didn’t seem to be the type to waste time on feelings either, but you guessed it wasn’t any of your business. You knew he felt things. Experienced emotions and all that. You’d be stupid to think he didn’t. During training, when he’d survey your group to see how things were going, there would always be gossip when he left, your peers saying how he was cold and emotionless, but you disagreed. You had already heard the rumors of the captain being some type of underground gangster at that point, so when you really thought about it, it wasn’t unusual or weird for him to act the way he did. Something, someone, had made him that way, and that was okay. Something had affected all of you too. The world you all lived in didn’t have the time to spare you from grief or trauma.

“Cadet l/n.”

You jumped slightly at the sudden mention of your name, lifting your head to see your captain entering the mess hall with a signature cup of tea in his hand, and you gave him a lazy smile before looking back down at your own cup, the liquid having gone cold over the time you had been sitting there. Levi didn’t reprimand you for not saluting him, just silently walked over and occupied the seat across from you, looking at you with that stern gaze of his.

“You should be asleep. I won’t make training any easier for you tomorrow just because you’re tired.”

“This isn’t unusual for me, captain. Just needed something else to look at that wasn’t my bedroom wall,” you said, your voice quiet.

He slightly tilted his head as he studied you, lifting his hand to gesture around the room. “And you thought an empty mess hall would be better?”

You let out a scoff, meeting his eyes for a moment before sipping at your drink and immediately grimacing at the taste of it. “It’s better than the alternative. For now, at least.”

He didn’t respond at first, simply staring off into the distance as he let your words sink in before setting down his cup with a soft ‘clink.’ You thought that maybe if you weren’t so over everything at the moment, you wouldn’t be acting so casual with your superior, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Hopefully this wouldn’t bite you in the ass later

“You’re not the first one here to experience nightmares, you know.”

“Oh, so you have this talk with all of the cadets in the middle of the night?”

“No,” he answered simply, taking another sip of his drink.

You didn’t know why, but that simple interaction had been the best one you had with another person in months. Sure, you loved the company of your friends, but talking to Levi was just so… different. Almost liberating in a way. There were things you had told him that you never told anyone else during your late-night meetings, and it got to the point where you had found yourself looking forward to talking with him. Because you knew that behind his gaze was a man that felt so much, and you knew what that was like.

“You know… I only really made it out because they were too busy eating my family.”

Levi paused at that, eyebrows slightly raised as he looked at you over his cup that was pressed to his lips. He didn’t speak at first, taking his time as he leisurely drank his tea, and you could practically feel the depth of the silence looming over the both of you like it was its own presence.

“Shit, maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut,” you thought, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you anxiously waited for Levi’s response.

You didn’t want him to pity you. That was never your intention. You guessed you just.... wanted someone to know what you were thinking and feeling, tired of constantly keeping it to yourself. If you got eaten by a titan one day, you’d at least want someone to know who you were. Who you really were.

“Sorry, I um…” you looked around at everything besides the man sitting in front of you, trying to find a way to fill the silence. “You probably don’t wanna hear some sob story from some cadet, I-”

“‘Some cadet?’”

Your eyes snapped over to his, mouth slightly agape before swallowing thickly. “I… Well I mean-”

“Talking like that about yourself isn’t going to change anything or make anything better. You’re not just some cadet, and I’m even willing to say that you’re not as bad as some of the shit-for-brains we have here. You came here to do the same thing everyone else is here to do. Fight for humanity. Whether your end goal is selfish or to try and relieve yourself of some guilt from the past, it doesn’t matter.” He leaned closer to you, elbows placed on the table as he pinned you with his gaze. “Every life sacrificed out there matters. So does yours, even if you don’t think it does. And it’s our job to make sure those soldiers don’t die in vain. 

You didn’t know what to say. No one had ever really talked to you like this, so how could you know how to respond? Luckily, he started speaking again so that you didn’t have to.

“Your family…  it’s a shame what happened to them. What you had to go through. But, their deaths will be avenged, and I will make damn sure of it.”

That night was the first time you cried in probably months. You thought Levi would think of you as some pathetic little soldier, trying to gain the sympathy of their captain, but he didn’t. He just placed a hand over yours and let you cry, and you remembered how you were sort of surprised by how warm he was. You remember that talk like it was only yesterday when in reality it was years ago. You and Levi didn’t talk as much as you used to, considering the fact that he was constantly busy with helping the titan shifter cadet, Eren Jaeger, and you had been recruited to squad leader, so you had your own people to deal with. But that didn’t mean you two never spoke. Whenever your paths crossed, you’d make sure to give him a little greeting, whether it was a simple wave or a “hello.” And occasionally, when you couldn’t sleep and you’d come down to the mess hall, he was there, a steaming cup of tea in front of him, and you’d talk for a few hours until you both agreed it was time to try and catch some sleep.

Now, the soldiers were getting ready for the 57th expedition, and you couldn’t shake off the bad feeling you got whenever you thought about it. Of course, every expedition was dangerous. More often than not, the scouts would come back from outside the walls with more than a few dead, and on bad days, their numbers would be cut in half. Eren was making progress, and you hoped he would be useful, but a part of you was still doubtful.

“I’m worried,” you stated, arms crossed over your chest as you stood next to Levi, watching the cadets train vigorously.

“You always worry.”

You glanced over at the man and huffed, seeing him completely focused on the soldiers before you lightly kicked your boot into the dirt. “I guess that’s kinda my thing, isn’t it? Can you blame me though? We’ve seen what Eren can do, but… he hardly has it under control. And this isn’t exactly a normal expedition.”

“Things will turn out the way they turn out. There’s nothing we can do except make sure things go the best way they can.”

You sighed. Levi was able to reassure you most of the time, but other times he did nothing to calm your nerves. It wasn’t his job to, though. His responses were straightforward, and if you didn’t like it then that was just something you had to deal with.

“Ever the optimist, Levi,” you said, a sarcastic lilt to your voice, and you smiled when he glanced at you before shaking his head.

“Hey! You’re not here to slack off. Pick up the pace before I make you all train through dinner.”

You were used to Levi giving out orders. Hell, he gave them to you all the time, but his commanding voice sent shivers down your spine at that moment.

“He’s a freaking tiny tyrant, I swear,” you heard one of the cadets mutter, and you couldn’t help but snicker as you turned your head away from your captain, covering your mouth to conceal your smile.

“Find something funny?”

You cleared your throat as you shook your head, turning to Levi with a grin and shrugging your shoulders. “Not at all, captain. Just have a little cough is all.”

“Mhm. Maybe I should make you run it off then.”

“Aw c’mon, Levi. Have a little laugh. We all need one once in a while, especially considering the day you’re all going to have tomorrow.”

He just let out a hum, and your smile slowly dropped as you looked out at the horizon, the sky painted in beautiful strokes of orange and pink. Yes, you were right, you all needed those small moments of joy in this fucked up world you lived in, but you weren’t stupid enough to believe that those moments could last forever. Sometimes you just had to face the reality of the situation you were all in, and you couldn’t help the feeling of dread that filled you as you thought about tomorrow.

“You’re overthinking. Stop it,” Levi said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You shook your head and gave him a smile that felt bittersweet. “I can’t help it sometimes. I wish I could go with you.”

“We have enough force and skill in the recruits we have for the expedition. It would be a waste to put you and your squad into it and leave you hanging with no real job to do.”

“No real job? We’d be doing what everyone else would be; killing titans and keeping Eren safe! How would we not be useful? You know for a fact that my squad and I are plenty skilled and-”

“We can’t risk more sacrifices by putting you out there. We have enough people to hopefully accomplish what we need to.”

“Then why wasn’t my squad a first choice to go beyond the walls this time? We’re more capable than most of the people here and you know it. Maybe if I talk to Erwin he’ll-”

“This wasn’t just Erwin’s decision, it was mine. And your insubordination is starting to get irritating, so I suggest you take a walk.”

You looked at Levi with widened eyes, disbelief clear on your face, and you swallowed down what you actually wanted to say before letting out a deep breath.

“Levi, I-”

“Take a walk, l/n. I don’t wanna hear about it.”

You simply blinked at him a few times, clearly upset by the way he addressed you, before letting out a scoff and walking away, your jaw and fists clenched tightly. Yes, maybe you were being a bit childish, but you refused to acknowledge that when you felt so pissed at the moment.

“I mean, how can he just treat me like that?! Just completely dismiss me and not even give me a reasonable answer! He’s so… He’s just so… Ugh!”

You groaned and rested your head in your hands as you sat across from Hange, your friend looking at you with raised brows as they idly tapped their fingers against the table.

“I mean, he is your superior, y/n.”

“But that’s not the point! Like, yeah okay, I know he’s my captain and all that, but… We’ve always just been casual with each other. We’ve never seen each other as our ranks. I still respect him and follow his orders when he gives them but…” You let out a noise of frustration and slammed your fists down on the table. “That doesn’t give him the right to just pull out the superiority card whenever it benefits him!”

Hange blinked a few times before letting out a sigh, brushing a piece of stray hair out of their face as they leaned back in their chair, shrugging their shoulders. “I mean, he said it was also his decision, right? So maybe… he’s trying to keep you safe?”

Your eyes widened almost comically, feeling heat travel up the back of your neck at the mention of the possibility that Levi was concerned about your safety. “I-I… I mean he- um.”

“Oh my, are you getting flustered, y/n? Does the thought of Levi caring about you make your heart race?” Hange asked, a playful smirk on their face.

“Stop! For the love of everything, please stop,” you whined, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to ignore how embarrassed you felt. 

Hange just laughed at you, continuing to poke fun until you threatened to not be a part of their crazy experiments anymore, to which they quickly backed off. You thought talking with Hange might make you feel better, but hours later when you were pacing in front of the door to Levi’s office, you still wanted to rip your hair out as you thought of what to say to him. Letting out a huff and straightening your posture, trying to gain some nerve, you raised your hand to knock on the door, only for it to suddenly open and reveal your captain, his cravat having come off and the first few buttons of his shirt undone.

“Your incessant pacing is driving me up the wall. What do you want?”

Oh, so he had heard you. You avoided eye-contact, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of your neck before clearing your throat to try and relieve some of the awkwardness you felt.

“Um… can I come in?”

You both stood there for a moment, Levi’s gaze traveling up and down your body before stepping aside to let you in, and you gave him a small, appreciative nod as you walked inside his office. The tension in your shoulders was almost painful, your whole body almost stiff as Levi walked in front of you to sit on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. You didn’t know why you felt so nervous. It was only Levi, a man you had come to know for years. And while you didn’t know everything about him, you still considered you both to be somewhat close. So why were you feeling so weird right now?

“Uh… I wanted to talk about this afternoon,” you said, mindlessly fidgeting with your fingers.

Levi raised a curious brow, letting you linger in silence for a moment before letting out a soft hum. “Not sure it’s something worth talking about.”

Lips curving into a small frown, you mimicked his posture and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto one foot. “Well, I think we left some things… unaddressed back there, and I wanna talk about it.”

He didn’t say anything, and you were starting to get pissed, your fuse short enough as it is. Your frustration finally hit its peak when he grabbed the cup of tea next to him and wordlessly took a sip, and you swore at that moment you wanted to take the cup and smash it against his head.

“Goddammit, would you stop drinking your stupid fucking tea and listen to me?!” you yelled, and you could see a flash of shock in his eyes at your outburst before he glared at you, setting his cup down.

“You wanna repeat that?”

“Oh, don’t get all fucking ‘Captain Levi’ on me. You know exactly what all of this is about. You didn’t even try to give me a reasonable explanation earlier, and I feel like I deserve one.”

“Do you? You think you deserve something for acting like this?”

“I’m not a child!”

“But I am your superior, which you seem to forget quite a lot.”

“That is such bullshit! Since when have you given two fucks about ranks when it comes to us? I follow your orders when I have to, not when you use your superiority when it’s most convenient for you.” 

Levi clicked his tongue as he got off of his desk, rounding it to sit in his chair, and your fists were clenched so tightly it was becoming almost painful, your nails digging into your palms.

“You know, you say you’re not a child, yet you constantly act like one. Throwing a fit when you don’t get your way. Sometimes I wonder why Erwin made the decision to promote you.”

Your eyes widened as you softly gasped, questioning if you heard Levi correctly, but you know you did. There was no mistaking it. You always believed that Levi knew that you were capable, that you could protect yourself. But now he made you question if he really thought those things. Did he even respect you as a soldier? After countless nights of spilling your guts to him and him reassuring you… did he think of you as just some simple-minded cadet? You felt like your heart was in your throat and tears were threatening to spill, but you just swallowed everything down and turned your head away.

“Good luck on the expedition tomorrow,” you muttered, and you were quick to leave his office and rush back to your room, tears spilling down your cheeks.

______________

When it came time for your fellow scouts to leave for the expedition in the morning, you were a bit reluctant to watch them, knowing that you’d end up automatically spotting Levi in the crowd, and the petty side of you wanted to ignore him at all costs. However, the rational side of you remembered that it wasn’t just Levi going out there, it was other soldiers as well, most of them you knew personally, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give them a proper send-off, knowing the likelihood of some of them not making it back. So, you dragged yourself out of bed and made yourself presentable, slipping on your jacket as you stepped out of your room.

“Y/n!”

You turned at the shout of your name, seeing Hange waving excitedly at you as they jogged down the hall, slowing down to walk with you.

“So? How did it go with Captain Shorty?”

You groaned and rolled your eyes, bringing your fingers up to rub at your temples to try and cease the headache you already felt coming. “I don’t even wanna talk about it.”

“Dang, that bad, huh?” Hange grimaced.

“You have no idea. I just wanna forget about it”

Hange didn’t say anything more on the topic after that, simply talking about random things with you as you walked outside to the stables. You had a bad feeling settled in your stomach ever since you woke up, but as more time passed it just got worse.

“Hange,” you muttered, the squad leader turning towards you with raised eyebrows as they held the reins to their horse.

“Uh… Please be careful out there, okay?”

Hange looked shocked for a moment before their mouth split into a wide grin, and they quickly pulled you into a tight hug, which you immediately reciprocated.

“Aw, y/n! Don’t worry about me, I’m always careful!”

“That is such a lie, but I’ll believe you anyway,” you chuckled.

Pulling away from each other, Hange mounted their horse and joined the rest of the scouts at the gate, and you went to stand at the sidelines with the rest of your peers to watch them. Your eyes immediately caught sight of a head of familiar black hair, and you felt your heart grow heavy and your chest tighten, almost wishing he would feel your gaze and look over at you. But he didn’t and with Erwin’s war-cry, they charged through the open gate, the horses kicking up dirt and dust, and you only got a glance at their retreating figures before the gate was closed again.

______________

Every minute that ticked by felt like hours. You didn’t know how long they would be gone, the time usually spent outside the walls ranging from a few hours to a few days. You hoped it was the former, knowing that the longer they were out there, the more likely they were to get killed. You knew your comrades were skilled, having been outside the walls with them and seen their skills up close, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. Now with the Eren being a titan shifter and a traitor in your midst, anything could happen.

You almost didn’t acknowledge the shouting of your fellow soldiers that afternoon, too focused on taking care of some of the horses in the stables. But when you finally heard it, you quickly stopped what you were doing and ran to the gate. They were back. Adrenaline coursed through you as your heart pounded like a drum against your chest, and when you finally caught sight of the returning scouts, you immediately stopped in your tracks. The look on their faces was one of defeat, and you could already tell just by looking at them that not all of them made it back. When you spotted Hange, you felt some relief wash over you and you quickly made your way over to them, walking beside their horse.

“Hange, what happened? Was the mission successful?”

Hange didn’t answer, a blank look on their face, which was identical to the expressions on all of the other soldier’s faces. It was a bad day, that much you could tell, and you made brief eye-contact with Levi before looking for your friends. Only… you couldn’t see them. Turning around frantically, you spotted Eren laying in a cart and ran over, jumping in beside him as you glanced at his hand clutching Mikasa’s. He looked even worse than everyone else did. No, loss was never easy, but Eren was just a kid, and experiencing so much of it at his age must have been devastating for him, especially when he was so passionate about saving humanity.

“Eren, tell me what happened. Who… Who did we lose?” you asked.

You didn’t even know if you wanted to know the answer, seeing Eren so broken and torn up already told you that what happened out there wasn’t good, but when was it ever? The boy had tears falling down his cheeks, trying to keep his sobs quiet, and Mikasa just looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Y/n, I don’t think right now’s a good time-”

“Please!” You gripped the cape that was laid over top of Eren, eyes focussed on the blue and white wings embroidered on the back and you sniffled as you tried to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to come out. “I… I need to know. Please, Eren…”

He stared at you with wide eyes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed before letting out a shuddered breath. “They… We were after the female titan and she… I couldn’t save them, y/n. They died protecting me!”

Your face seemed void of any emotion as Eren’s words sunk in, piercing your heart like a million knives, and all you did was nod silently before jumping out of the cart, your mind going on autopilot as you walked. You didn’t need him to explain who he was talking about for you to already put the pieces together. Levi had told you that Eren was going to be a part of his squad so that he could keep an eye on him, and his squad was in charge of protecting him. He had become humanity’s number one asset after all. Civilians were shouting at all of you, cursing at you and hurling insults at your face. You weren’t even one of the scouts on the expedition, but that didn’t matter. As long as you wore the wings of freedom on your back, you were a bastard like the rest of them. No more, no less.

You had stumbled too close to the crowd, too preoccupied with your thoughts to even notice, until a large man gripped your shoulders and pushed you in front of the horses, your body landing harshly in the dirt as some of the people laughed at you. You heard someone shout your name, but it sounded distant to you, everyone’s drowned out underneath the roaring of your thoughts. You shifted yourself onto your hands and knees, only to look up and see Hange crouched down in front of you, a concerned expression on their face.

“Y/n, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

There was a ringing in your ears as you looked at them, trying desperately to just get a grip.

The dirt under my hands, the dryness in my mouth, the shouts of the citizens, the musty smell of the horses… Hange right in front of me.

“I’m fine. I… I’m fine.”

The single tear slipping down your cheek went unnoticed by you, but it was one of the things that let Hange know that you were lying. That you weren’t fine. Reaching out to wipe the tear away Hange shook their head.

“Y/n-”

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Giving Hange a tight-lipped smile, you picked yourself up off the ground and made your way back to the Scout’s headquarters, feeling everyone’s eyes on your back, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Levi was watching you too.

______________

You didn’t keep track of how long you cried that day, keeping yourself locked in your room and sobbing until your body physically couldn’t produce any more tears. The last time you cried this much was when your family died, same thing could be said when you thought about the last time you felt this way. Like all hope was lost. You found yourself questioning what the point of all of this was for a moment before you quickly slapped yourself out of that thought. You knew why you had to do this, why the Survey Corps was important. But shit, all this loss? You didn’t know how much more you could take. Especially if days like today became more frequent.

Then you got to thinking about Levi and the stupid argument you had yesterday. At the time, you felt like your feelings were justified, and maybe they were, but now you felt like a complete idiot for arguing with him, especially the day before an expedition where it was one hundred percent possible that he could’ve died out there. The thought of your last interaction being some petty argument made more tears fall, and you gripped the sheets of your bed so tightly that you thought they might rip. Did he even want to speak to you now? Maybe he realized that you were just some immature little soldier and wanted nothing to do with you.

No, you couldn’t accept that. You wouldn’t. Standing from your bed, you harshly wiped at your eyes and sniffled, trying to look like you weren’t crying for hours on end - even though it was pointless, you knew Levi would be able to tell immediately - and exited your room to start making your way to Levi’s office. Your nerves were kicked into high gear, but you refused to let this man intimidate you. You were going to let him know how you felt and he was going to listen. Of course, your confidence immediately deflated when you found yourself standing in front of his door, but you swallowed down your nerves and knocked, taking a deep breath.

Levi’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door, telling you to come in, and you let out a small huff as you gripped the doorknob and let yourself in. He didn’t even look up from the paperwork in front of him when you walked in, and as the door closed behind you and you moved to stand in front of his desk with your hands held behind your back, you lightly cleared your throat to get his attention. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and you could feel yourself shrink under his gaze. There was no doubt he saw what happened earlier today when they came back, and from the way he was examining you, you knew he could easily tell that you had been crying.

“Did you need me?” he asked, and you sharply inhaled at the sound of his voice. It felt like forever since he talked to you last, and hearing him speak made your stomach do flips.

“Uh… I don’t know, honestly. I didn’t really practice what I was going to say before I came in here.”

He raised a brow at you. “‘Practice?’”

“I mean, it’s kinda hard to talk to you. Not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just… Ah shit, I don’t know. It might just be me. I’m not the best at articulating, you know?”

He hummed and grabbed his cup as you let out a sigh, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and leaning your elbows on your knees, bouncing your leg. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you wordlessly gazed at him for a moment, a made-up image of his death flashing in your mind before you shook your head and ran your hand down your face.

“Look, um… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for yesterday. For questioning your judgment when I should’ve just dealt with it. You’re my superior and I disrespected you so… Again, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell between you for a moment before he let out a sigh, setting down his cup before leaning his chin against his propped up hand. “Don’t apologize. You were right.”

Your eyes widened. Did you hear that correctly? “Uh, I’m sorry?”

Getting up from his seat, he rounded his desk to stand in front of you, and you were even more confused. You swore he would’ve been done with you by now.

“You said you and your squad were more than capable of handling the mission. You were right. Or at least, you were right at the time. The female titan would’ve wiped us all out if she wanted to, just like she did my squad. I don’t doubt that if you went after her, you’d be dead right now too.”

You stiffened slightly at his words, fingers gripping your knees as you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. “Oh.”

“As captain, I’m supposed to remain unbiased. My decisions should be based on the greater good of humanity and my comrades. If my judgment is wrong, then that’s something I have to live with. Making my squad protect Eren was my decision, and they died.” He let out a long breath. “When Erwin decided to not bring you on the expedition, I was opposed to it at first. I knew that you and your squad would be able to aid us greatly, but I couldn’t sway him. However, now that I think about it, I’m glad you weren’t there.”

You were at a loss for words. When Hange had joked the other day about Levi caring about you, you didn’t take it seriously. But now that you were hearing all of this… Did he care for you? Or was it just your wishful thinking that was causing you to interpret things wrong? Slowly standing up, you briefly met his gaze before walking over to the window and looking out at the night sky, the sun having gone down a while ago, and you wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried to piece together what you wanted to say to him.

“Even if you think I was right, I’m still sorry. I don’t like arguing, especially with you. And the fact that you had to go on an expedition the next day…” You swallowed thickly. “I was scared. I know you say that there’s no use regretting the decisions we’ve made, but if you died out there today and a stupid argument was the last interaction we ever had, I would’ve regretted it every day of my life.” You turned to face him, eyes glossing over. “I would’ve beat myself up when I know you’d want me to continue to be strong. But I feel like I can’t do that without you, and I feel so weak and stupid for saying that. For feeling like the only thing that gives me hope in this godforsaken world is you.”

Levi remained silent, not that you expected him to say anything, and you sniffled as you reached up to wipe at your teary eyes before sighing and giving him a sad smile.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t wanna hear some silly confession. I’ll let you get back to your business,” you said, walking past Levi to get to the door, but you didn’t make it that far when his hand suddenly shot out and gripped your arm, causing you to turn back and look at him.

“Why do you always do that?”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You never take yourself seriously and act like the people around you don’t either. You’re self-deprecating. You did the same thing when I found you in the mess hall years ago. Why?”

“I… I don’t know, I guess I just get nervous around you.”

“Why?”

Your mouth felt dry suddenly, and your heart was racing as Levi’s grip on your arm tightened and he pulled you closer. “Because… I want to be strong in front of you. I don’t want you to see me as someone immature and incapable, and I’m scared of embarrassing myself in front of you.”

“Did you find your confession embarrassing? Do you want me to forget about it?”

“If you want to.”

“Mm. And what if I don’t?”

You let out a shuddered breath, eyes flitting down to his lips for a moment. “Then what will you do about it?”

Neither of you moved at first, your gaze not leaving one another, and you felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest, it was going so fast. You wondered if Levi was experiencing the same feeling. Wondered if underneath that stoic, calm expression, his blood was pumping in his ears and his pulse was going crazy. You were waiting for him to do something, anything, as he stared at you with an almost challenging look. It made anger flare up in you for some reason, and you clenched your jaw as you narrowed your eyes. 

No, I won’t let this get away from me.

Reaching up, your hand grabbed at his cravat, yanking him forward into an almost desperate kiss that had your mind reeling. His brows were scrunched up, body tense, before finally relaxing, and you could feel him almost melt into you as he brought both of his hands up to hold your face, eagerly responding. Your frustration had been building up ever since your fight, and you felt like you were both letting it all out now, each kiss hungry and rushed, barely able to pull your faces away before one of you was pulling the other one in again.

“Fuck, I can’t stand you sometimes,” you breathed out between kisses, fingers weaving into Levi’s dark locks and lightly tugging, causing him to let out a soft groan against your lips.

“Stop talking.”

You don’t know when the anxiety started bubbling in your stomach or why your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your throat, all you knew was that every sensation was suddenly overwhelming. Levi’s hands, his lips, his breath against your face, it was all too much. You were suddenly pushing him away, tears quickly building up behind your eyes as you panted for breath. Whether it be from the desperateness of your kisses, or the constricting of your chest, you didn’t know. You just knew that everything was suddenly hitting you at once, and you couldn't get a grasp on how to deal with it.

“Y/n…”

Right, Levi was still here, and he looked at you with a hand slightly reached out, waiting for you to meet him halfway. You hesitated, staring at his hand like you were trying to see through it, before eventually grabbing it, and he slowly pulled you into his chest. Your arms were limp at your sides, silent tears streaming down your face as Levi held you.

“They’d be proud of you, y/n. You know that.”

You felt like you had been falling all of your life, nothing to stop you, nothing to hold onto as you plummeted through an endless abyss. But now, as you brought your hands up to grip the back of Levi’s jacket and sobbed into his shoulder, for once, you felt like your feet had finally found the ground.

[vanserraseris]

END OF PART IV - This is just some more Lucien and Eris. Eris is pretty ooc, idk, I just imagine that Lucien and Eris got along at some point. I hope you enjoy it :)

yesssss im so here for lucien and eris being brothers <3 

Prince of Ashes. Part IV.

masterlist.

Eris had read the same business proposal three times. With a small, useless snarl, he threw the sheets of paper onto his desk and frustratedly rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. He took a deep breath. His father had been demanding more from him, a strange thing Eris couldn’t understand considering how quickly his father had shoved him out of The Forest House after the War.

Eris had also managed to get into another fight with Cato, which, while a very common occurrence, still managed to leave him in a terrible mood. Blowing at a strand of blood-red hair that had fallen into his face, Eris lifted the proposal once more, hoping that this time the words would make some semblance of sense. When he became High Lord, Eris decided he was going to make his brothers answer all of his correspondence so that he wouldn’t have to.

Eris almost growled when the heavy oak door to his study slowly creaked open, but he opted to ignore whoever thought it would be a good idea to interrupt him. Perhaps they would just leave, Eris hoped, eyes scanning the document in front of him. With a scowl, Eris raised his head to snap at what was most likely a new servant, but when he saw no one at the door, Eris paused. He carefully placed the proposal off to the side, the fireplace on the other side of the small room flaring.

Just when Eris was about to stand, a small face peaked up at him from the opposite end of his desk. Eris frowned, “Lucien?” He asked it in a soft tone, one that he reserved for only three people in his life. Mother, Rufus, Lucien. Eris didn’t know what it was about them that put to sleep the dark thing inside him, but for whatever reason, he felt at peace in their presence.

“I knew you had come,” his youngest brother must have been on the tips of his toes to look over the desk at Eris. He didn’t look too pleased. 

The frown did not leave Eris’s face, “I am not to stay long, but I have much to do.” 

“You couldn’t be bothered to come say hello?” Lucien lifted his chin, the loose curls of his short hair shifting with the movement. Eris had not realised how upset Lucien was, his little face red in the cheeks with what Eris supposed was anger.

“Our father has given me a task, I can’t be spending the day with you,” too harsh for a child that had yet to reach half a decade, but Eris always had a hard time with softness. 

Lucien didn’t back down, with a small shake of his head he spoke, “You could have said hello.” 

“Go pester Rufus, Lucien,” Eris mumbled, lifting the paper and taking his eyes away from the sad gaze of his brother. Eris waved his other hand in the door’s direction, “Or go back to the lessons I know you should be in.”

Eris heard Lucien’s frustrated sigh and his small steps as he scrambled out of the room. While Eris knew that Beron paid very little attention to the whereabouts of Lucien, Eris had gotten plenty of beatings for missing a lesson. Noticing that Lucien had not closed the door but feeling much too lazy to do it himself, Eris settled once more into his cushioned chair. Grabbing a pen, Eris began to write out a lengthy response to the proposal.

He almost snorted when he got to the bottom of the page and signed it with his father’s name. As if Beron had such lovely writing, Eris thought rather arrogantly. His father hadn’t learned to do anything other than fight for the crown of the Autumn Court. He’d slaughtered five brothers for it. It was not hard to imagine how ruthless Beron must have been in his youth, but Eris also couldn’t believe how his father had killed his own brothers and slept at night.

Eris had always been thankful for having been firstborn. If being the eldest was good for nothing else, Eris was glad he wouldn’t be the one killing any siblings for a centuries old scrap of metal. 

Eris almost fell out of his seat when he heard the loud clang of the plate that landed on the desk, knocking him out of his miserable thoughts. Eris peered over the top of his desk, scowling. Red hair that was the same as his own was all he could see.

“Old Sae says you haven’t eaten,” Lucien made his way to Eris’s side, a small sneer on his face. Eris thought Lucien had never looked more like a Vanserra, like one of them — stubborn and determined, his chin tilted up and his nose lifted in a snobbish sort of way. 

“Lucien,” Eris began, but stopped to help his younger brother as he climbed onto the arm of the chair. “Fox, what in the hells are you doing?”

Lucien didn’t bother answering him — something that he did quite often — as he settled onto Eris’s lap, curling his small body up against his oldest brother. 

“Lucien,” Eris sighed, “I’m busy.” 

“I know,” Lucien said, looking up at Eris, russet eyes pleading, his mouth set in a pout, “I swear it, Eris, I swear that I won’t ask you to read to me or give me riddles or play chess with me, I swear.”

It was true that Lucien was always looking to Eris for attention, but he found it strangely calming to sit around with Lucien and do such ordinary things. Eris had thought about what he would do if he’d been born ordinary — if hadn’t been the Autumn Court’s heir — much more than he’d like to admit. 

Eris shook his head, but he was finding it very hard to say no. So much for not getting attached to the little runt, “I’m busy,” he repeated.

Lucien frowned, settling against Eris’s side and facing the desk, “So you be busy, and I’ll stay here and watch.” 

Eris felt something spark in his usually hollow chest. He sighed, leaning his chin onto the top of his brother’s head, hoping that Lucien understood how much Eris appreciated him in that moment. Lucien was a creature that gave love so freely, Eris prayed to the Mother that he would always be this way. “Alright,” Eris scooted the chair closer to the desk, “But I have a lot to do.”

Lucien hummed, knowing very well that he’d managed to do something great. Lucien had gotten very good at getting Rufus and their mother to do whatever he wanted, Eris was a bit more of a challenge. Small fingers lifting an apple slice from the plate he’d dropped onto the desk, Lucien handed it to Eris before he took a slice for himself and bit into it. Eris ruffled Lucien’s red locks, biting into his own apple slice with a small smile.

And so that was how Eris would spend the rest of his day. With Lucien sat quietly on his lap as he did the brunt of his father’s paperwork. Lucien had stayed true to his word and hadn’t asked Eris for anything. The sun had set by the time Eris was on the last letter, some marriage request for a young female in the aristocracy. The lord was hoping for a beneficial union between his daughter and one of the Vanserras.

Eris guessed that no harm would come from throwing that particular letter in the fire. It would be just his luck that Beron would choose another potential bride for him, assuming the old bastard had forgotten what a disaster it’d been the last time he had tried to marry Eris off to the first available female. With a knock on the door to his study, Eris wrapped an arm around little Lucien, who’d fallen asleep against his side. The door was thrown open, Priam walking inside with silent steps.

“Father knows Lucien missed his lessons and wants to speak with you,” he sounded calm and unbothered, but the embers flaring in his russett eyes gave away the fact that some emotion was brewing behind that cold façade. 

Brilliant, Eris thought, handing the sleeping Lucien to Priam, “Find Rufus,” Eris said, trying to keep his frustration at bay. He often had to remind himself that none of his brothers were at fault for whatever Beron was about to do, but he often got angry at them instead.

Priam didn’t give Eris a response, and as soon as Lucien was settled in Priam’s arms, they winnowed away, hopefully to Rufus. Rufus loved being around children, Eris wasn’t surprised. Rufus had always been the kindest of them, the most understanding and most loving. Eris had kept Rufus far away from their father, and while their mother had mostly ignored little Rufus, he didn’t seem to hold it against her. Eris supposed he should ask Rufus how he did it the next time he had a chance.

Only moments after Priam and Lucien had left, Eris felt the heavy, choking presence of his father’s magic, the smoking scent of it. He could only wait for whatever punishment his father had in store. Eris didn’t bother standing as his father walked into the study, his short brown hair brushed back and away from his face, his crown nowhere to be seen.

The High Lord of the Autumn Court slowly walked to Eris’s desk, his hand absently picked up a book that Eris had lying there. Eris wondered if Beron would throw it at him. 

Beron’s beringed fingers flipped through the pages of the book, his eyes scanning the words as he spoke. “I don’t pay those tutors for nothing, boy.” 

Eris swallowed, licked his lips, “I wasn't aware they were being paid.” Eris watched as his father huffed a humourless laugh.

“I don’t think I have to tell you that your behaviour has been unacceptable as of late.” Beron elegantly set the heavy book down, his voice calm. 

He’d been told countless times by his father to stop spoiling Lucien. Eris found that even without a vow to protect Lucien, he would have done it just to keep the smile on his youngest brother’s face. Mother above, Eris was a real idiot for thinking he could love someone in this court and not have it be a weakness.

Eris set his jaw, opting to act like a fool, “What behaviour?” 

The back-handed blow to the face he’d earned for that would surely bruise. Quick as an adder so that he hadn’t seen the hit coming, but Eris knew he wouldn’t have moved out of the way even if he had. 

“Don’t play the idiot with me, Eris, I have no patience for it,” Beron growled, his hand snapping up to hold Eris’s face in a tight, uncomfortable grip. Beron leaned over the desk, “I don’t think I need to teach you another lesson?”

Eris shook his head, his father’s grip on his chin still too tight, “No, High Lord,” he ground out. Eris had been beaten bloody less than a fortnight ago for taking Lucien and Rufus to the city for a day trip, but Beron’s lessons had always taught Eris absolutely nothing, and that one had been no different. Not only that, but Eris found he was very good at repeating his long list of stupid mistakes that managed to make his father absolutely livid.

Beron practically threw Eris’s face to the side, “Be careful, boy, I have six other sons to take my place. I have no use for an heir who can hardly obey a simple order.” 

The sudden urge for Eris to bark that Beron only had five was overwhelming, but he settled for glaring at his father’s back as he stalked out of the study. Eris would gladly give one of his brother’s the throne, he’d never fucking wanted it anyway.

Eris slumped back in his seat as his father left the room, the control on his own magic slipping so that golden flames flickered in his eyes. Eris wanted to flip the desk in his anger, but he hated making a mess of things, so he took a deep breath instead, cooling the fire in his veins. Eris raised a pale hand, wiping some blood from his split lip with the pad of his thumb. It would heal by morning, Eris thought, and all would be as if it had never happened.

[girls-scenarios]

A Little Curiousity

Idol: Heejin (Loona)

Prompt: Guys! Can u do smth like a AU with Heejin where the reader and Heejin are POKEMON TRAINERS!!(im rly hyped about the new pokemon games!!!) Where her pokemon got lost in the woods and the reader helps her find her pokemon and decide to continue their path to the Pokemon League together!

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I just finished playing Pokémon Shield on my Switch and I’m still super excited about it since it was so fun, so I thought I’d try my hand at this prompt! Please forgive me if my writing isn’t the greatest, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Heejin wouldn’t normally consider herself a slow or inattentive person. After all, being a trainer had heightened her senses and made her pay more attention to her surroundings. But she had been in the middle of setting up her tent when it happened, too distracted with her full hands to react fast enough. She hadn’t even noticed Star, her Raboot, curiously approaching the tree as she focused on getting her tent up before the approaching clouds could open their floodgates.

She hadn’t noticed until the sky lit up with lightening, the ground shook with the force of the thunder, and he let out a loud squeak just as something hit the grass. At the squeak, she had turned just in time to see him dash off into the woods after a very large, very startled Skwovet, leaving her and the rest of her team to stare after him.

“Star! Stop!” She’d called after him, but it was too late. By the time she had jumped to her feet, he was gone and the skies opened, pouring a heavy rain down onto the campsite. She had only taken a moment to corral her team into the tent and tell them to stay before she ran after him, but he was already long gone.

Now she was soaked through and gasping for air, her new boots covered in thick mud as she stopped to catch her breath under a huge oak.

“Stupid Skwovet, how did it just jump out of nowhere like that?” Heejin huffed and stomped her foot as she looked around, squinting through the rain. “Star! Come here!” A distant roar answered her call and she shivered, clutching the Pokeball at her side that contained her Mubray Champion, the only companion she’d thought to bring with her in her haste. God, this was so stupid. She was going to catch a cold wandering around out here. Thankfully she’d left her backpack with her clothes at the tent so she could change when she got back.

She went to take a step forward, then froze. Her tent. Where was it again? A bit frantic, she looked around, but all the trees just looked the same, especially under the heavy rain. Gulping, she glanced back at her footprints. Would she be able to follow them back?

Half of her wanted to run back the way she’d come, but she knew that she couldn’t leave Star out there alone. Groaning, she wiped at her face with the back of her hand, swearing to herself that she was going to get a leash the next time they were in town. There was no way she was going to let this happen again. She was miserable as she started forward again, cursing everything. Stupid rain, stupid Skwovet, stupid curious Raboots, stupid woods-.

“Hey, are you okay?” The voice that came from deeper inside the woods made her jump and stop in her tracks again, her head swiveling around to try and find where it came from. “I heard you out here in the rain so I came to see if everything was alright. You’re totally soaked!”

She found herself looking to her right and watching as you stepped out of the darkness, an umbrella over your head and your eyes wide and concerned. For a moment, she was apprehensive, until she noticed that the belt around your waist was full of Pokeballs and you had a Pumpkeboo trailing after you, peeking at her from over your shoulder. Somehow, you seemed a bit familiar as well, but she couldn’t tell why. Not through the rain and the darkness that lingered in the woods at all hours of the day.

A quick glance down at herself had her feeling embarrassed and she let out a soft laugh, pushing her wet hair away from her face. “Well, I don’t know. My Raboot ran off into the woods while I was setting up camp and now I can’t find him in the downpour.”

Your frown was sympathetic as you stepped forward, close enough to cover her with your umbrella. Now that she wasn’t moving, she realized how cold she was, making her shiver again. Your frown only deepened. “You aren’t going to be able to find anything in this downpour. Why don’t you come over to my camp? It’s right back through these trees here. I’ll give you some of our curry and you can warm up by the fire while we try to figure out how to find that Raboot of yours.”

For a moment, she hesitated, before realizing that you were right. She could barely see anything and Star wasn’t going to come out from wherever he was hiding until the rain ended. “You’re right. Thank you,” she said, a grateful smile stretching over her lips as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to conserve as much body heat as possible. “I owe you one. My name is Heejin, by the way.”

You smiled in return as you started to guide her back the way you came. “I’m (Y/N), and don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do for a fellow trainer. You’re trying to get your gym badges, aren’t you?”

With a raise of her eyebrows, she asked you how you knew, drawing a laugh from your lips.

“I’m a trainer too and I’ve seen you at the past few gyms. You always challenge right before me, so I’ve seen you fight a few times. You’re really good!”

“Oh, thank you.” Her face burnt a bit at the praise, but she was thankful for the warmth so she didn’t turn away. Instead, she studied your face, before her eyebrows raised in recognition. “That’s why you looked a bit familiar to me! I’ve definitely seen you at the gyms before. Although I guess I’ve never seen you fight,” she said sheepishly, making you laugh again.

“That’s okay, like I said, I’ve been after you, so I wasn’t expecting you to stick around and watch every round. Not while there’s still so many of us challengers. It’s nice to officially meet you though.”

“Same to you, although I wish we’d met under slightly less.... Wet conditions.”

“True. Oh, we’re here!” The trees disappeared suddenly, giving way to a small clearing just big enough for a campsite, where your other Pokémon ran over to great you. You had your tent set up and your curry cooking, and she felt her stomach grumble. It had been a long day, and even though she’d given her team berries to tide them over until dinner earlier, she hadn’t eaten in a while.

“Come over here and warm up,” you told her, guiding her under your makeshift shelter by the fire before closing your umbrella and going about filling up a plate. With a happy sigh, she leaned closer to the fire and smiled at your Vulpix as it wandered closer, sharing its warmth. As she let Champion the Mudbray out to run around with your team, you approached her with the plate. “Here, have some of this.”

The curry was spicy, and she let out a hum as she swallowed her first bite. “That’s delicious!”

“Thank you,” you said, a smile stretching over your face as you sat down and let the Vulpix climb into your lap and snuggle close. “I’m glad you like it. Most of my experience is in cooking for Pokémon, so I’m always a little worried that it might not be edible for humans.”

It was her turn to laugh before she took another bite, already feeling warmer. Before she knew it, she had already finished the plate and she felt warm inside and out, most likely thanks to the extra heat Vulpix had added to the fire. The rain had let up as well, and there was a bit of sun peeking through the clouds as the downpour turned into a tiny drizzle.

“I can’t thank you enough,” she said earnestly, “I feel a bit guilty for taking up your time,” but you waved a hand, dismissing her guilt.

“Don’t worry about it, Heejin. I’m glad I was able to help.” You looked out at the woods. “Now that you aren’t going to freeze to death and it’s no longer raining, we should start looking for your Raboot.”

Her stomach dropped and she sighed, placing her plate down and standing up. “I feel terrible for leaving him out there in the rain.”

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t find him,” you soothed, putting Vulpix down and standing up as well. “I’m sure he was able to find shelter in plenty of time. Pokémon are animals, after all. They’re good at surviving the elements.”

“That’s true. But I still want to find him as quickly as possible.”

“Then let me help.” You whistled, getting the attention of the Pokémon. “Come on guys, let’s go find Heejin’s Raboot!” Turning back to her, you raised your eyebrows. “Does he have a name?”

“Yes, his name is Star. You don’t have to do this, you know. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“But I want to.”

Something in her heart fluttered at your words and she felt her cheeks flushing. “Oh. Well then, thank you again (Y/N). His name is Star. Hopefully he’ll come out now that’s it’s not raining as much anymore.”

The ground was still muddy, but the trickle of sunlight made it easier to say and, without the drumming of the rain, it was easier to hear all the different sounds of the forest. With Champion trotting behind her and you by her side, Heejin made her way back into the woods, calling for Star. She had to admit that having you by her side made her feel a lot better: the various sounds from other wild Pokémon didn’t scare her as much anymore. No matter what was out there, surely the two of you would be able to take it. It gave her more bravery to search, and search she did, looking anywhere she thought Star might hide.

“Star, come here! It’s not raining anymore, you can come out now!” Crouching down, she peered into another den, only to quickly back away at the sight of a sleeping Bunnelby and sigh. “Where is he? Maybe he went back to camp?” She stood and dusted off her still-damp pants, about to suggest that the two of you try to find your way back to her camp before you let out a gasp.

“Heejin, I think I found him!” At your call, she spun around to see you peering up into a short berry tree, your eyes wide. “Hey little guy, how did you get up there?”

Heejin broke into a run, clearing the short distance in no time with her heartbeat spiking in her chest. Sure enough, when she looked up she saw Star shivering and clutching at the branch he sat on, his little ears wet from the rain and his eyes quivering. “Star! Oh my god, you scared me!”

The little Raboot sniffed and glanced away, trying to look cool, but she could see him shaking. With a relieved smile, she reached up to pull him down and clutched him close to her chest. “Don’t ever do that again! I know you’re getting bigger, but what if you had run into a big wild Pokémon? Poor baby, you’re soaked through.” She quickly unzipped her coat to wrap it around him before zipping it back up, and he snuggled closer to her chest, obviously exhausted. With an affectionate, yet long-suffering sigh, she pet his little head. “I’ll cook your favorite curry when we get back, okay? It’ll warm you right back up.”

When she looked up, you were looking at her with a similar affection twinkling in your eyes, your hands in your pockets.

“Thank you so much again for finding him,” she said, shaking her head. “I should have known he’d be up in a tree looking for food.”

“How did he even get up there?” You looked back up at the branch he’d been sitting on, looking a bit incredulous. “I’ve never heard of Raboots climbing trees, that’s for sure. I just happened to look up and see a flash of red and white.”

She laughed, still softly petting his head. “He’s too adventurous for his own good. Add that to his endless energy, his speed and constant growing, and his huge appetite, and you get a Raboot with no problem getting into trees. He doesn’t climb as much as he runs and jumps.”

“Oh, that makes more sense.” Your smile returned and she felt her heart flip as your eyes met hers, the spark of affection still lingering. “I’m glad you found him. I can’t imagine how scary it is to loose a Pokémon.”

“I acted annoyed, but I was really scared,” she admitted. “I don’t know what I’d do without this little guy. He was my first Pokémon ever.”

“I can tell how close you guys are. It’s cute.” You grinned and her cheeks warmed again as she watched the sun slip in through the leaves to light up your face. It was like the universe was asking her to fall for you or something.

“I-I... Thank you?” She let out a nervous giggle, then perked up at the familiar sound of her Liepard’s call. It was somewhere close by, which meant that her camp wasn’t far away! “Champion, can you lead the way back?” He gave her a little nod of his head before she turned to smile brightly at you. “My camp is close by, why don’t I give you some potions as a thank you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” Your eyes widened as you waved your hands. “I just wanted to help, I didn’t want anything in return!”

“Still, I want to do something to return your kindness. I’m really glad I ran into you out here.”

Your face immediately softened at her words and you fell into step beside her, a small smile on your lips. “You know, I always wanted to approach you at the gyms, but I was too nervous.”

“Really?” Her mouth dropped open. “Why?”

“You seemed to be so good, so confident, so, um, pretty,” you blushed as you spoke, looking down at your shoes. “I was intimidated by you, honestly. But now I see that I should have approached you sooner.”

“I can’t see myself be intimidating,” she said, still shocked, before her lips turned up into a hopeful smile. “Want to make our way to the next gym together? It would be nice to have some company on the journey, and I want to get to know you better.”

You visibly perked up at her suggestion, just as Champion broke through the woods into her camp, returning to the happy calls of her team. The sun was bright as the two of you stepped into the clearing, and your eyes sparkled in the light as you beamed at her, making her heart skip more than just one beat.

“I’d love that!” You exclaimed, and her smile stretched to match yours, all of the fear, and cold from earlier being replaced by an excitement that lit a fire in her chest, different from the competitive determination she’d felt at the beginning of her journey.

“Great! This is going to be so much fun, I just know it.”

As she placed a sleeping Star into her tent and covered him with a blanket, listening to you coo at her other Pokémon, she couldn’t feel the annoyance she’d felt earlier, forgetting her promises to scold him when she found him. Instead, she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before sitting back to admire you, full of anticipation for the future.

“I never thought I’d say this, Star,” she said in a whisper as she stood up to head back out to you, head already spinning with plans of what she wanted to do with you. “But I’m so glad that you’re the curious type. I’ll cook you something nice to thank you for this when you wake up. I have a feeling that this is going to be big!”

[heywejustheretohavefum]

Attachment - Chapter One

- to clarify, you are an adult in this story. also, im sorry my writing is so bad and that i have not proofread this very thoroughly, but hell, this isnt my job and i dont have to be good at it -

word count : 1.5k

warnings : none, i think

From the start, your relationship with Master Skywalker was unorthodox. Yet the bond you shared was a strong one, though it started strangely.

He had been showing you to your quarters after your fateful meeting with the Jedi Counsel. After the excitement of the day, you were more than ready to take a much needed rest; the emotions which you had ignored rising up through you. It seemed as if your new master sensed this, as he didn’t attempt to make conversation. It was you who talked first.

“I killed him,” you said. (e/c) eyes still staring at the floor, you didn’t notice his clear blue gaze settle onto your bowed head. “The man who killed my mother.” Though you paused, as if to allow him to say something in response to your confession, Anakin stayed quiet. What could he say? ‘Me too’? For he had done the same thing on Tatooine on that awful day when his mother was taken from him.

“I didn’t have to…I did it because I wanted to,” you looked up at him this time, your soft eyes staring into his steelier ones. You both stopped, standing still in the middle of the halls of the Jedi Temple. It was a moment of understanding, and the way your (h/c) locks cradled your face made Anakin feel calmer than he ever had before.

Yet as your bond grew brighter, Anakin and Padmé’s slowly dimmed. He was given six weeks leave from the war in order to train his new padawan, which he had originally planned to spend with his wife as well. Yet as the days drifted by, he found himself wanting to leave your side left. By the third week, he had stopped sleeping in the secret apartment he and Padmé had shared. The Chosen One didn’t understand it; how he had longed for Padmé only weeks ago and now had no desire to see her.

Perhaps it was you. Or more specifically, the fact that you knew of his and Senator Amidala’s forbidden relationship. Anakin still didn’t understand how you found out about them.

You had been early for your training, as always. Master Skywalker, though he tried, could never get to the training room before you. And as always, you were meditating upon his arrival; Anakin swore he had never met a Jedi who enjoyed meditating more than you.

“I thought Jedi weren’t allowed to have attachments,” your voice was soft and just as lovely as ever when you spoke to him, your eyes meeting his own.

“We’re not,” Anakin responded with a classic smirk gracing his handsome face.

“Then how come you're married to Senator Amidala?” You didn’t expect your question to be answered, clearly, as you stood up from your cross-legged position on the floor.

Your master’s head whipped up, following your movements as you walked to get a training staff to practice with. “I...H-how do you know? About Padmé and me?”

(e/c) eyes stare down at the dueling staff, giving it a gentle twirl in your hand. “I don’t know. I just...knew,” you paused, turning to look at him again. “And it’s ‘Padmé and I’, not ‘Padmé and me’.”

But was it really just the simple anxiety of having another person know of them? Anakin wasn’t so sure. After yet another fight with Padmé, he had gone to the only person who he could vent to - you, which then led to a late night sparring session.

Elegant blue clashes with the brilliant emerald green of your own saber. Over and over again they collide in blinding fury; both fighters stay on equal footing until Master Skywalker slashes unexpectedly at your shins. Just in time, you jump, landing with practiced grace on the hilt of his weapon. Twisting his wrists to angle the glowing blade up into your back, Anakin swings again. Jumping over his head, you dodge the fiery cerulean sword before wrapping your legs around his throat. Your master falls backwards from the unexpected shift in weight. The wind is knocked out of you as you crash onto the ground, but a second later you find the strength to summon the saber which had fallen from your master’s hand. You swiftly straddle him, and with a saber dangerously close to both sides of his throat, Anakin concedes to you.

“That was quite the impressive fight,” Obi-Wan Kenobi says. The bearded man had been secretly watching your entire battle with his former padawan; he’s impressed by your dexterity and skill after only a few months of training.

“Thank you, Master Kenobi,” you say, bowing to him.

“How does it feel to be beaten by your padawan, Anakin?” He asks with a smirk which only widens as he sees Anakin’s frown deepen.

“You should know very well what that’s like, my former master,” Anakin retorts. You laugh sweetly, snorting slightly as you try desperately to breathe between giggle fits. Both blue-eyed men watch as you chortle with softened expressions.

“Master Skywalker’s only mad because he hasn’t won against me in a week,” you declare proudly, twisting around to face Obi-Wan. “Even if it’s probably only because I know his fighting style so well by now.”

“Well then, would you care for more of a challenge?” Master Kenobi asks, noticing but ignoring his former padawan’s glare; the bright smile you offer him being far more captaving.

“It would be an honor, Master Kenobi.”

The fight was a long one, both of you being skilled fighters despite your short time training with a lightsaber. It ended with you yielding after being pinned against the wall by the older man with a saber at your throat. Anakin watches with resentment as Obi-Wan steps away from you, allowing you to move away from the wall.

“You certainly do have a strange fighting style, padawan,” the bearded man comments; your style was different from other Jedi - instead of relying solely on your lightsaber like most, you used it as a distraction to try and get in more physical attacks in order to disarm your opponent. He guesses it was due to what you learned before arriving at the Jedi Temple.

Sliding your lightsaber back into place, you smile up at Kenobi. “I’m not sure if that’s meant as a compliment or an insult, master,” you say in amusement. Obi-Wan finds the sparkle in your eyes as you meet his own intoxicating, and shocked, he looks away.

The Chosen One glares at his former master, a grimace etched into his handsome features. He doesn’t understand the feeling of boiling resentment in his gut, nor why he wants to shove Obi-Wan across the room - anything to get him away from you. “It’s late,” he says, hopefully without any annoyance he felt evident in his voice. The way you look up at him, almost shocked as if you forgot about him, only serves to aggravate him more. “I’ll walk you to bed (n/n).” It wasn’t often that your master used his nickname for you in front of others, and you silently wonder why he does now. You decide it’s because he’s more comfortable around Obi-Wan than any other Jedi.

“No need, Anakin, I can accompany your padawan to their chambers. You should keep training if you hope to beat your apprentice again,” Master Kenobi responds with a smug grin, his azure eyes slyly glancing at his former padawan.

“But they are my apprentice, Obi-Wan. I really must insist on walking them myself.” For a few moments their eyes met, both men waiting for the other to back off. After some seconds of tension, two sets of blue eyes break way from each other and to your giggling figure.

“Boys, boys, you’re both pretty,” you say facetiously, rolling your (e/c) eyes at their antics. “You can both take me to bed.” Both men stammer, a heavy blush on their faces as they stutter vehement denials of what you insinuated. Nevertheless, once you walk out the door, both follow behind you quickly in order to catch up.

In the halls, one on either side, you three chatter on about nothing in particular - missions and tales of their heroics being the men’s favorite thing to talk about as they subconsciously try to one up each other. “In the end I destroyed 42 droids, even without my lightsaber,” Anakin brags, glancing down to see your reaction.

“Really? Because I seem to remember having to save you as you hid behind a rock,” Obi-Wan corrects him, smiling when you laugh at the two boy’s banter. The bearded man easily avoids the foot Anakin puts out to try and trip him as pay-back.

“Well,” you start, stopping in front of your bedroom, “this is me! Thank you both for walking me back, masters.” You bow to the knights respectfully.

“It was nothing, young one,” Master Kenobi responds.

“Yeah, no problem at all (n/n).”

一

The two men, left alone in the hallway outside your room, stare at the door you had just walked into. “Remember, Anakin,” Obi-Wan starts, “Jedi aren’t allowed to have attachments.” His voice is even, thanks to a great deal of effort on his part. With tense shoulders and a frown that settled on his face once you were out of sight, he looks over to his former padawan.

“Are you reminding me, or yourself?” Anakin says coldly.

[kitababie]

coffee - kita shinsuke

the inarizaki manger doesn’t get their coffee one morning, the captain helps

an // first time writing in a long time hhh I hope someone enjoys it? Im still under construction but feel free to suggest or request stuff! Anyways here’s my attempt at some Kita fluff!

genre// fluff

wc// 900+

Being a deep sleeper was of itself not a terrible virtue, when paired with early morning alarms one could beg to differ. As the obnoxiously loud sound of your phone alarm went off you fumbled a bit reaching for it with sleep dazed eyes. It took a few too many seconds to register how late it really was. Panic sets in as you scramble out of bed and rush to put on your uniform as fast as you can manage.

How did you sleep through the other alarms completely? Maybe it helped a bit that under the covers everything was so warm and cozy. The world and all your problems seemed so far off.

Dread sets in as you realize you really have to leave this second, which means there’s no time to make coffee. The thought of having to deal with a Monday without the help of a warm cup of caffeine is not ideal to say the least. Not to mention there was volleyball practice after classes. God this is going to be a long day.

Managing the Inarizaki boys volleyball club was definitely not unpleasant, in fact you enjoyed it quite a bit, of course it can get chaotic a lot of the time. But that doesn't stop you from smiling at the thought of how much the team has grown, the sense of pride you felt seeing them come all this way was immeasurable. Being the manager since your first year it was bound to happen.

Grumbling to yourself you snap out of your thoughts and quickly put your shoes on, remembering to grab your coat as you rush out the door.

The cold air hit you like an icy smack to the face as you stepped outside. The warm autumn air turns bitter earlier and earlier it seems. Fingers twitch slightly, missing the warmth of your usual to go mug. Stuffing your hands in your pockets you make a mental note to pick up new gloves as soon as possible.

The walk to school seemed hours longer than it had last Friday. Even blinking seemed to take so much more energy. ‘Just get through this morning, the worst part will be over by noon’ you remind yourself. Thoughts were cut short as your shoulder gently bumps into another body at the corner you usually meet your fellow third years on the walks to school, hopefully you didn’t make them wait too long...

Blinking you look up with a lazy expression as a chuckle cuts through the cool breeze. “You don’t look too hot this morning L/N”

“I look this hot every morning, thank you very much Aran” you grumble out with a small yawn. “I just overslept a tiny bit” your fingers almost touching to really express your point “so I didn’t have time to make a coffee”.

Aran hummed in response. Kita only side eyed you a bit, it’s weird seeing so little energy from you, as much as you tried to compensate with small smiles it was clear that the lack of coffee was taking a toll, you were barely keeping up with their moderate pace.

“Perhaps you should sleep earlier to avoid relying on caffeine to keep you afloat” the captain says after a moment.

You could only laugh softly and turn to him “if only, I’m hooked for life at this point”.

Although Kita could not relate to your daily need for coffee, he couldn’t deny how oddly endearing it was, and how cute you looked tiredly walking between him and Aran. Of course he worried a little about how you would cope with the school day ahead, as well as practice. The school gate was in view after a few more minutes of walking, and some idol chatter; mostly between him and Aran.

The three of you quickly parted ways to your respective classrooms with friendly goodbyes.

‘God I hope this day goes by fast’ drowsiness sets in more as a large yawn escapes your lips once again.

-

The lunch bell rang after what felt like an eternity, you glanced down at the sloppy notes you took, you cursed at yourself, you would have to borrow some from a classmate because yours were absolutely incoherent. Your head fell forward with a soft thud onto the desk, hopefully the rest of class would go by faster.

It’s noon and you still felt exhausted, it probably didn’t help that you had forgotten your lunch on top of the lack of coffee. ‘So much for the worst being over but the afternoon’. A quiet groan left your throat, though thankfully no one near you could hear it.

A soft clink made you glance up from the uncomfortable makeshift pillow that your desk was. It was a bottle of iced green tea.

“They were out of coffee, but green tea has more caffeine anyways. Hopefully it helps”.

Warmth rises lightly on your cheek but you smiled up “Ah thank you Kita, you didn’t have to!” Waving your hand a bit frantically, you certainly weren’t expecting this.

“It’s not a problem Y/N, we can’t have our manager be at less than 100% after all” a small smile graced his face.

‘Y/N?’ Had this been the first time he called you by your first name? You didn’t mind of course, it sounded nice falling from his lips, sweet and warm like the scent of freshly made coffee, despite it being said in his usual tone. It felt like home. You can’t wait to hear it again.

“See you at practice then” he said, turning to return to his classroom presumably to finish his lunch.

“Y-yeah see you, thanks again Shinsuke” you smiled up at him as you cracked open your new beverage. Kita flushed hearing his first name but it’s only fair that you return the favour after all.

Perhaps it wasn’t the worst thing that you overslept a little this morning.

[catfe-overlord]

“Cold”

Part 2

Read part 1 here

::In which Bakugou and Kirishima are still trapped in a cave, slowly freezing to death, and luck doesn’t seem to be in their favor today as things only go downhill::

•••••••••••••••

It was probably the sound of teeth chattering that woke him. That didn’t make much sense because he was surprisingly warm in his sleeping bag.

Then it dawned on him. Kirishima.

Bakugou sat up, ignoring the pain that spiked through his back. The fire was nearly out, and Kirishima stood over it attempting to bring it back to life. Even in the dull light Bakugou could see how pale his boyfriend was.

“Dumbass!” Bakugou spat. “If you were this cold you should have told me!”

He looked over at Bakugou with sad puppy eyes. It made Bakugou seethe, disgusted by how fucking adorable it was. Kirishima had no business being that cute.

“You looked so peaceful,” Kirishima admitted. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You’re freezing, idiot. Take the stupid sleeping bag before I beat you to death.”

Bakugou wiggled out of the bag before Kirishima could protest. He kicked it over to the redhead, who only looked guilty accepting it. Nonetheless, he knew Bakugou enough to know he wasn’t joking around. Kirishima looked like a ghost, and that was putting it lightly. His skin was deathly white and his lips were a disturbing shade of purple. The dark, dried blood that trailed down the side of his face only helped to make him look paler. There was a slight tremble to his shoulders Bakugou couldn’t ignore.

“Sit down and get warm,” Bakugou demanded, forcing himself to stand without the use of his arms. “I’m going to get the fire going again.”

“Without using your quirk.”

“Tch. I will if I have to.”

“You’ll only hurt yourself—”

“I don’t give a damn!” Bakugou shouted through gritted teeth. “My arms aren’t as important as our lives.”

“I get that, Kats, but what about your quirk? If you hurt your arms bad enough that you can’t use your quirk again, your hero dream is over.”

Bakugou frowned. “I wouldn’t be much of a hero if I couldn’t even save the guy I loved.”

Kirishima opened his mouth to respond but clamped it shut again. A soft smile spread over his lips. “I love you too, Katsuki.”

He finally climbed into the sleeping bag and parked himself beside the dying fire. He melted into the fabric, and the teeth chattering slowly silenced. “Wow,” Kirishima breathed, “it’s still warm from you. I didn’t realize how cold I was.”

Bakugou knew Kirishima must have been freezing because without the insulated sleeping bag Bakugou could feel just how much the temperature dropped since the avalanche. “Ei, how long have we been in here?”

“Mm, maybe a couple hours? I’m not sure. The communicator still isn’t working, so I haven’t caught word from anyone yet.”

Bakugou huffed. He really hoped the class hadn’t assumed they were dead. After so long without answers, Bakugou wouldn't be surprised if any of them started to feel dread. He knew his classmates well enough to know they wouldn’t give up though.

With his left arm, which hurt a little less than his right, he scooped up Kirishima’s flashlight off the ground and clicked it on. He headed deeper into the cave in search of more sticks, hearing a faint, “Be careful!” from behind him, which he responded to with a grunt.

Fucking rocks everywhere. That’s all he could find! He was beginning to lose hope when he finally came across a branch long dead and speckled with crisp leaves.

He started kicking the thing back towards the fire, figuring he didn’t want to drag it back and hurt his arms more. The pain had lessened to a dull throbbing, but using his arms now would only bring it back tenfold.

He finally reached the fire and started stomping on the branch to break it up into smaller sticks. Once pleased with his work, he sat with his legs criss-crossed and used his left arm to toss branches into the flames one by one. The fire was already coming back to life.

“Good job, dude!” Kirishima congratulated him from where he was snuggled up in the sleeping bag. He scooted closer to Bakugou until their shoulders touched.

“Hungry?” Bakugou asked, leaning into Kirishima. He could feel the slightest warmth radiating from him.

“Honestly, yeah,” Kirishima answered. “I didn’t eat much today. A couple protein bars and an apple.”

Flatly, Bakugou said, “Eijirou.”

“I know, I know. ‘Take better care of yourself, blah, blah.’ I would’ve eaten better if I’d known we wouldn’t be back in time for dinner. Didn’t expect to wind up trapped in a cave when I ran out the door this morning.”

Bakugou scowled. It was because of him they were in this mess after all. If he’d just used his damn brain, Kirishima wouldn’t be freezing to death or starving or bleeding from the head!

Kirishima nudged him. “Hey. I didn’t mean it like that. This isn’t your fault, Blasty.”

Kirishima Eijirou and Bakugou Katsuki—

Both boys stiffened at the sudden voice echoing in their heads. It was a feminine voice, and strangely the woman was speaking directly into Bakugou’s brain, not his ears. He noted the voice sounded distantly familiar as it continued to coil through his mind.

This is Mandalay of the Wild, Wild Pussycats. If you can hear this message, just sit tight. We’re on our way. It may be awhile before we can reach you, so do your best to survive. Keep warm and stay alert. The mountain is more unstable than anyone realized. A second avalanche is likely, but we’ll try to have you both to safety before it comes to that. We’re doing everything we can. Mandalay, over and out.

Bakugou’s mouth felt suddenly dry. He remembered those damn Pussycat heroes from the training camp where the League managed to snag him. Mandalay was the most normal of the bunch of freaks, Pixie-Jo or whatever the fuck her name was had been a total creep, and he wasn’t around the other two weirdos enough to even remember their names.

“The tracker must be working,” Kirishima breathed, more likely thinking out loud than talking to Bakugou. He slumped against his boyfriend, letting his head rest against Bakugou’s shoulder. “They’re coming for us.”

Bakugou grunted his reply. He reached past Kirishima for the backpack, but a sharp pain shot from his wrist to his elbow. He drew back too fast, only managing to worsen the pain. He bit his lip to hold back a yelp.

“Babe! Hey, you alright?” Kirishima was asking then, whipping his arms out of the sleeping bag to cradle Bakugou as he held his arm tight against his chest. “No more using your arms. If you need something, just ask me next time.”

“‘Kay,” Bakugou spoke through clenched teeth. He would’ve argued if anyone else were here, but it was just Kirishima. He knew not to push it. He didn’t like making Kirishima mad.

The redhead pulled the bag to them and dug out the thermos. After he unscrewed the cap, a plume of steam rose from the mouth of the can. “Wow, still warm.”

“Good,” Bakugou breathed out through a sigh. “It’ll help warm up our cores. Help us stay alive.”

Kirishima nodded against him. He took a long sip from the thermos, then passed it to Bakugou. “Cheers.”

Bakugou chuckled at that, but the sound was strained. He accepted the soup, downing a few gulps himself.

There was a strange rumble then. Bakugou stiffened at the sound of shifting rocks. Kirishima‘s grip on him tightened.

There were a few short moments of near perfect silence, despite the crackling of the fire. Bakugou swallowed, bringing himself to stand up. He had a bad feeling rising in his chest.

“Do you think that’s them? The Pros?” Kirishima asked quietly. “Our classmates?”

Bakugou pursed his lips. “I don’t think so, Ei.”

Then it happened all at once, so fast Bakugou could hardly process what was happening. He would’ve been killed if it wasn’t for Kirishima’s instantaneous reaction.

The rumbling was loud, so loud, and the ground was shaking and the ceiling was practically coming down. Bakugou stumbled and tripped over the backpack, throwing his hands out to protect himself.

He screamed at the pure agony that shot through his arms, the sound ripping through his throat. All he could think about was pain, pain, pain.

Kirishima dove on top of him, his body hardened from head to toe. He braced himself on his hands and knees, taking each blow from the ceiling as it crumbled.

The light of the fire disappeared, and the boys were consumed in darkness. The cave went silent and still, as well as Bakugou’s mind.

++++++++++++++

Read part 3 here

IM SORRY... for how long it took me to post this. Not for tormenting our two best boys of course 👀

Yeah, I had a lot of problems with the program I was using to write this (kept telling me there was a merge error ?? And deleting random bits of my work ?????) so I’ve switched over to Google Docs and so far that’s working well for me. It’ll take some getting used to, but worth the change so long as it doesn’t randomly delete my writing 😤 (yes I’m a little salty about it)

ANYWAY ! Thanks for the read, and I’ll have the final part posted soon! I started another fic that I think y’all might like,,,,, maybe,,,, hopefully ?? Yep yep KiriBaku of course.

9/14/2020

[legendofzelda4life]

Not Used To This

This was for day ten (yesterday) hopefully this is the last time I have to leave the post till the next day lmao.

Today we have Twilight and Sky platonic angst.

Will it become fluff? Will somebody die? Who knows, but let’s see.

-----------------------------

“Who’s fucking world are we in now?” Legend asked, rather annoyed. They had only switched worlds a day before so switching this soon was annoying.

“Does anybody recognise it?” Time asked. Everybody shook their heads.

“Is everybody here?” Twilight asked. His eyes looked over each person, counting, then his eyes landed on Sky.

It was obvious the Skyloftian was having trouble taking in air, well if the heaving chest was anything to go off of. Sky noticed the Ordonian boy staring at him and he just waved his hand to show ‘I’m fine’.

“If we know what’s good for us, we should keep moving.” Warriors said. The rest of the boys nodded before beginning to walk.

They were in a grass field when they came in so, based on the sun, it was easy to find north. If the boys knew anything about Hyrule, it’s that Hyrule Castle is always somewhere north.

Instead of walking up the front like usual, Twilight fell to the back and decided to walk with Sky.

“You okay?” Twilight asked, sparing a glance at the hero next to him.

“Ye-yeah I just…” The boy took a deep breath, adjusting his collar. “I’m not used to this.” He said. It made sense. They had been to Skyloft at one point, the air was crisp and had nearly made some people like Wind and Legend pass out. Whereas here, the air must’ve felt heavier to him and harder to consume.

It was for nearly everyone.

But it affected the Skyloftian the most.

“Do you want us to stop?” Twilight asked quietly, causing the boy to shake his head. “It’s fine.” He waved his hand. “Alright…” Twilight wasn’t too sure about this.

Not even five minutes later, the Skyloftian walked up to a tree and went behind it.

Twilight had stopped to wait for him and could hear the boy throwing up.

This…

This was not fine.

Sky walked back out, wiping his mouth, heaving a deep sigh.

“Better?” Twilight asked.

The boy shook his head.

“Wanna stop?”

Another head shake.

“Okay then.” The two walked to catch up with the others but Twilight made sure they stayed a few feet behind. He didn’t want to overwhelm Sky when he was like this.

A cough came from next to Twilight, followed by a few more, then stopping with a thud.

Twilight only just managed to catch Sky.

“Woah buddy, wanna stop now?”

Sky didn’t see a point in arguing and nodded.

Twilight looked up and saw Warriors at the back with Wind on his shoulders.

“Oi, Sailor! Captain!” Twilight yelled out. Both boys turned, eyes landing on Sky - whom Twilight had layed in his lap. He saw the two boys exchange words before Warrior’s came over.

“Wind’s telling Time we should stop.” Twilight nodded, not looking at the scarfed hero. His eyes were fixed on Sky.

Twilight was continuously growing more concerned for the boy in his lap.

Sky was one of the more responsible people. Sure he was curious and child-like at times but without Sky’s radiating calmness, everybody would go crazy.

It didn’t help that Twilight looked up to Sky.

Sky was like an older brother to him. Time would fit the role if they weren’t, y’know, related.

But it hurt Twilight deeply to see Sky in so much pain.

“Why *cough* does it hurt so much, Twi?” Sky asked, curling in on himself. “I don’t know, but I promise we’ll help you until we can leave.” Twilight said, feeling his heart break. Sky was so important to him, he couldn’t imagine the group with Sky gone.

It would fall apart.

“C’mon rancher, I’ve got him.” Legend tried to pick up Sky but was stopped by Warriors. “Oh shut up you twig, give ‘im ‘ere!” In response, Legend glared at Warriors before lifting up the sky child with ease.

“We should probably just set up camp now.” Legend said, looking at - a rather shocked - Time. A little confused, he looked at the rest of the Link’s who also had their mouths agape.

“Dear Goddesses is it really that surprising I can lift things without an item?” Legend asked, annoyed at everybody. “Vet, no offense, but yeah.” Wild whispered the last word and Legend sighed. “I hate you all.” No matter how hard he tried to hide it, Hyrule saw the shadow of a smirk on his face.

Eventually, the boys set up camp and layed Sky down.

It hadn’t taken long for Legend’s arms to get tired. Ten minutes at most. It was still a while but after they started playing pass the parcel - without opening said parcel - it became clear that everyone except Four, Wind, and Hyrule could hold Sky.

Twilight, by far, held him the longest and most often. He didn’t pass Sky off unless Warriors literally pried the boy from his arms. After Twilight, Warriors had held him the longest, passing him to Wild once his arms were tired.

Yeah, Wild held him easily.

Time held him for the shortest amount of time but it was enough to help the boys’ arms rest before Sky was passed to Legend once more.

It had been a few hours since they had set up camp and Twilight was on third watch from 2300-0000.

“Nghn.” Twilight heard a groan behind him and whipped around, unsheathing his sword, only to see Sky sitting up.

“Sky… you scared the shit outta me.” Twilight laughed.

Sky gave him a blank stare before standing.

“You guys should’ve kept walking.” The boy sounded annoyed. “Why?” Twilight was confused. Usually Sky was hellbent against going anywhere when someone was sleeping.

“Because.” He said, looking away with a shrug. Twilight laughed nervously. “No, seriously Sky, why would we’ve kept walking?”

“Because I’m…” Sky mumbled the last part so Twilight walked up to him. “What?” The rancher was genuinely concerned.

“I’m a waste of time!” The hero of skies all but yelled.

SLAP!!!

“No! You’re fucking not!”

“Yes! I FUCKING AM, TWI!” Suddenly Sky broke into a coughing fit.

“Shit, Sky, I’m sorry.” Twilight reached out to help but had his hand slapped away.

“Leave me alone.” Sky hissed before turning and walking away.

Twilight made him…

Mad.

“Oh just go after him already and let us sleep.” Legend whined from behind him.

“Yeah, stop staring into space and go.” Wild encouraged.

Without turning to the boys, he nodded his head confidently before leaving.

He ran…

And ran…

And ran.

“Sky!” Twilight yelled.

No response.

The boy could hear a river nearby. “Maybe Sky went to it.” He mumbled.

He was right.

The sky child was lying on the ground, taking shuddering breaths.

“Sky!” Twilight was relieved.

Until he realized Sky had passed out again.

Fuck this place.

Twilight picked up Sky before dashing to the others.

“That was quick.” Four said.

“Is he okay???” Alright out of everyone, after Twilight, the sailor was the most concerned.

“Yeah, but he’s getting worse.” Twilight said.

“Wild found a portal!” Twilight looked up to see Hyrule at the tree line, breathing like he just ran a mile.

The boys ran to it without another word.

Upon entering the other world, it was immediately recognised as Twilight’s Hyrule. “We’re in the Faron woods. We should head to my village.”

“How far?”

“Like ten minutes.”

The group turned to Warriors, extremely confused.

Well, except for Wind and Time.

“He’s been more places than you can guess.” Time explained.

“Uh-huh, what about Lorule?” Legend asked.

Warriors looked at him. “You mean Lorule as in Yuga and Ravio Lorule or…?” The captain trailed off as a shocked look fell upon Legend’s face.

“What the fuck…?” He whispered.

“What? It’s not that-”

“No! Wars turn around!” Legend exclaimed, looking past the scarfed hero.

“What the fuck!” Yep, that was Warriors.

“Dear Hylia, just ignore it. It’s only a bulbin.” “Twilight, I know what a bulbin is! I don’t fucking like them!” Warriors yelled.

“Let’s just go.” Wild grabbed Sky from Twilight and sprinted as far south as he could.

He made it to Ordon within five minutes, everybody else not too far behind.

“Ilia!” Twilight yelled out.

“Link! Hey- you need help?” A girl asked, looking at Wild - who shook his head.

“Look we just need a place to get him rested ‘til he wakes up.” Wind said. Ilia’s eyes looked over everyone before stopping on Warriors.

“Th- they’re all you from other times.” She said. “Yes, now can we go?” “Sure but I’m asking a lot of questions pretty boy.” She gave Twilight an intense stare.

Hyrule groaned.

“What is up with us and girls with attitude???” He said quietly, causing Four to giggle.

A day later

Twilight was sitting next to Sky’s bed.

“He up yet?” Time asked. Twilight shook his head. “I wish old man.” He chuckled. “Yeah, yeah we know. Food’s ready by the way.” “Alright I’ll come over in a sec.”

Twilight stared down at the sleeping boy and chuckled.

“You always were a sucker for sleep.”

“I told you I’m not used to it.”

Twilight jumped.

“What the fuck how long have you been up for?????” Twilight asked.

“About an hour. Maybe less.”

“Idiot.”

Sky was engulfed into a hug.

“Wha- what?”

“I called you an idiot, you really scared me, passing out like that.”

Sky shrugged.

“Not used to it I guess.”

-----------------------------------

Hey look, nobody died but it didn’t centre around Twilight and his sadness/stress as much as it was meant to.

Why do I suck at writing angst????

Reference 1: Kilton is, apparently, botw’s version of the happy mask salesman

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUESTS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

CAN DO AN AU IF REQUESTED

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: Drive Me Crazy

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: The aftermath of your night together. The premiere of The Perfect Match. Will Ben ever let you tell him how you feel?

Warnings: Angst city but it’s worth it, drinking, swearing, idiots who won’t communicate, the usual.

Words: 8392

A/N: So here we are. The end. Kind of. I've still got an epilogue planned and a chapter of moments from Ben's POV but this is the last of the main chapters. I've had an absolute blast writing this story and I am so proud of it and so happy to have gotten this far in it. I hope you enjoy it.

Taglist:  @laedymoon​​  @dtfrogertaylor​​  @vee-ndetta​​ @atomic-watermelon​​ @kellypenac​​ @labessieisallama​​ @deakyclicks​​ @jennyggggrrr​​ @drowseoftaylor​​  @hannafuckingsucks​​  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​​ @queenmylovely​​ @supersonicfreddie​​ @tenement-funstah @taron-egrotten​​​ @johndeaconshands​ @borhapbois​

@coni-martina​​ @hardforbenhardy​​ @cubedtriangle​​ @vicouscirce​​ @arianabrashierstuff​​ @pattieboydwannabe​​ @maggieroseevans​​ @theprettyandthereckless​​

It took you a couple of minutes after you woke up to remember why you weren’t in your bed but as soon as the memory of the previous night hit you, you felt wide awake. A soft knock on the door made you sit up, head flicking towards the noise as the knob turned and the door creaked open a crack. “Oh. You’re up,” Ben said, obviously displeased, closing the door behind him with his foot, his hands both occupied. He must have had the same thought you did, of him kicking the door shut and pushing you up against it, because his cheeks were flushed as he handed you a cup of coffee and a plate of toast, “I wasn’t expecting you to be awake yet but mum insisted I bring you breakfast.” “Thanks,” you smiled despite his cold greeting. “Right, well.” “Hey, do you want to talk about what happened? We didn’t really get a chance last night but ther-” “No. Not here, not now. I’ll be in the kitchen, take your time.” He was gone before you could stop him. You sighed and looked down at the toast, knowing full well you weren’t going to eat it. Even if breakfast had been your most regular meal you were sure you’d be sick if you ate anything. The sip of coffee you had made you feel nauseous enough. How were you meant to tell Ben you loved him if he couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as you? You dumped the unwanted breakfast on the bedside table and got up to start packing. It was easy enough, you didn’t really have that much to find, though your bra had been kicked under the bed in the previous night’s excitement. And the condom wrapper that crunched under your foot, so hastily discarded, sent another pang through you. While you dressed you went over what you wanted to say to Ben. Perhaps he’d soften once you were further away from his family and the scene of the crime. Perhaps the drive would give you time to discuss what you both wanted. With a deep breath you hoped would calm your worries, you picked up the uneaten breakfast and headed for the kitchen. It was empty. You tipped the warm coffee down the sink and put the toast in the compost bin on the bench before poking your head back into the hallway to try to find Ben or anyone else.

A noise from outside caught your attention and you followed it to find Ben, his parents, his brother, and a couple that might have been an aunt and uncle though you couldn’t quite remember. They explained there hadn’t been enough room in the kitchen and invited you to join them. Ben was standing beside you within seconds, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as if he did it every morning. Of course, you knew it was just for show, just because there was an audience to perform for. But that didn’t stop you from savouring it, breathing him in. Then he was telling you to take his seat since he had to shower and pack anyway. You chatted with his family, apologised for not saying goodbye the previous night. Ben had already covered for you, which you found out when his mum waved off your apology and said she understood all about auditions. “Ben always used to be in bed early the night before so I’m not that surprised he insisted on getting you out of the party when he did. Did you sleep okay?” “Yeah, really well.” Lie. Add it to the list. “Good. Wouldn’t want you losing out on a roll because you were yawning too much,” You laughed your agreement and steered the conversation in another direction until Ben emerged again, hair damp, smelling like unfamiliar shampoo. With no spare seat he nudged you to stand, taking your place and wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you onto his lap. You smiled as he leaned into your shoulder, trying not to draw too much attention your way lest someone realise your thoughts were stuck on last night, stuck on how he’d felt under you, your palm flat against his chest. Eager hands and harsh breaths, achingly hard, because of you. You blinked back to the present when someone directed a question your way. After a little while Ben checked his phone for the time and, nudging you off his lap, suggested you should leave. Goodbyes were said on the driveway ten minutes later, Angela catching you in a hug and promising to have you back soon, before Ben ushered you into the passenger seat with a reminder that you’d be late if you didn’t leave soon. He tooted the horn as you pulled off down the street and you waved from the window. And then it was quiet. The mood was so different to the trip there. The radio was the only sound but even it was turned down low. You didn’t know what to say. You knew what you wanted to say but not how to go about starting the conversation. Ben kept his eyes glued to the road until you were well away from his family home, as if worried someone might overhear. And then he broke his silence. “Last night was a mistake. I didn’t mean it. Any of it.” “Any of what?” “I’m not in love with you. Never was. It was a mild crush based on physical attraction that got blown out of proportion because we were asked to pretend to date. Last night happened because it had been a while and we’d been drinking. It meant nothing.” You were too stunned to do more than nod along, every word you’d wanted to say disappearing from your mind. It didn’t matter. You were too late. You’d wasted all that time pretending not to care and now that you’d finally come to your senses, he’d apparently come to his too, had the same epiphany but in reverse. It was just a game of make believe taken too far. And you’d let yourself get caught up in it.

The rest of the trip back was torture. If you’d been in a more familiar area you would have told him to pull over and got yourself home, but so far from your usual neck of the woods it didn’t really feel like an option. The one silver lining was that you’d left early enough that the traffic wasn’t too heavy. Not that it made the trip feel any shorter. For his part Ben did seem more open to conversation once he’d got his confession off his chest, but you found it hard to match him, especially since he avoided every topic related to your relationship and the upcoming premiere. The one silver lining was that you’d left early enough that traffic wasn’t heavy. Not that it made the trip feel any shorter. You were still stiff and sad when you got out of the car, a terse goodbye the last thing Ben said before he sped off.

Nothing more was said about it. You didn’t mention how enlightening spending time with his family had been, and he didn’t mention what had happened between you. But you kept in touch, mostly through text. Mary let you know the casting director of the witch movie was interested in seeing you read for the middle witch and you sent Ben an excited message to let him know and ask if he’d help film you. He sent back a congratulations that sounded, to you, less than enthusiastic (certainly, there were less emojis than normal), and an excuse about being caught up with friends. You tried a few more times to engage him in conversation, sending him a photo of your makeshift camera stand that you used to film yourself, and then when that didn’t work, a few memes you’d found funny and a message asking how he was. He replied to all of them and if you’d shown the responses to anyone else they probably would have said you had nothing to worry about, but you couldn’t help feeling they were off somehow. The more you thought about it though, the more certain you were that you should come clean after the premiere. Even if he didn’t love you now, he definitely had before. You remembered what Joe had said about how he was pretending he didn’t feel anything for you. And more than that, you remembered what it had been like when he sobbed on your shoulder at the thought of you hating him, the way he’d whispered I love you against your lips while he was buried inside you, vulnerable and honest. By now you considered yourself pretty well versed in the difference between real and fake and there was absolutely no way he’d been faking those completely raw moments. He was a good actor, but not that good. If you could just get the words out, tell him how you felt, surely that would be enough for him to admit what he’d once felt, hopefully still felt. So, after some back and forth about when would be suitable time to bring it up, you decided that you’d tell him at the afterparty. You’d been sent the details of the night and you’d be by Ben’s side for pretty much all of it. The limo would pick him up first and then you, you’d walk the red carpet together, although some interviews would be done separately, and then you’d go on stage together to introduce the movie before sitting beside each other to watch it. After that you’d leave together and arrive at the afterparty together. It meant you should be able to find the opportunity to get him on his own, pull him aside and just tell him. There’d be somewhere you could go to escape the noise and the crowd and you’d sit him down and force him to hear you out. And then either he’d apologise and say it was flattering but he didn’t reciprocate, or he’d let out a soft thank god before pulling you into a real kiss. Not done because people were watching and expecting it. Done because he wanted to and you wanted to. And then you could tell the studio not to worry about breaking you up. And you could date for real. Go back and visit his family, introduce him to yours and to Felicity, meet his friends, move in together. You shook your head to clear it. One step at a time. No point getting ahead of yourself. You still had to make him listen to you and, if his behaviour so far was any indication, he was going to stubbornly refuse for as long as he could.

The lowest point before the premiere was when Joe messaged you on Instagram. You were surprised at first though on reflection you wondered if you should have expected it. It wasn’t a long message. A simple, can we talk about Ben? followed by his phone number. You called straight away. “Joe? It’s Y/N,” “Oh, wow, that was fast,” You shrugged and then realised he couldn’t see you, “I saw the message come in, figured I might as well call now while I knew you were awake. You wanted to talk about Ben”  “Yeah, it’s….” You hoped he was going to tell you about how madly in love with you Ben was, how he was miserable not talking to you properly, how he was pining for you, wishing you’d come over and kiss him again. “This is a bit of an awkward call.” The hopefulness slipped, creating a sinking feeling in your stomach. “I know what happened between you and Ben.” “I figured you would. How long did he wait to brag or whatever,” “It was hardly bragging, he was a mess. I asked you not to toy with him and then you go and seduce him?” “It’s not like that. I didn’t plan it to happen.” Joe sighed on the other end of the line. “It doesn’t matter anyway because according to Ben it meant nothing.” “He said that?” “Yup,” you wondered how bitter you sounded as Joe paused. “How long before this is all done?” “You mean me and Ben being the tabloid’s sweethearts? Couple of weeks tops. Premiere is this weekend. I wouldn’t expect us to last too long after that.” “Okay, good.” “Is that it?” “Unless you had anything else to say?” You thought about it for a few seconds, seriously considered telling Joe how you felt. He could probably get Ben to hear you out. But who was he to know your feelings? It was bad enough that Ben ran to him with every minor shift in your relationship, why should you do the same? Especially after he’d asked to talk just to tell you off, “Nope. So, if you’re done scolding me,” “It’s a shame. I thought – but I guess not. I can’t wait for all this to be over.” “You and me both.” As soon as you’d hung up you regretted it. But it would be too awkward to call back and ask for help.

The night of the premiere was vastly different from the last time you’d got completely dolled up to go out with Ben. Felicity wasn’t there, though you wished she was. Instead you had a small team of makeup artists and hair stylists ready to spruce you up. Your dress was new, sleek and elegant, and they created a style to match it. If it had been any other week you were sure Ben would have been blown away by the sight of you. His reaction upon seeing you climb into the back of the limo beside him was a stiff complement though the not-as-subtle-as-he-was-hoping once over her gave you was very gratifying, especially when you caught him looking at you, eyes soft and lip held lightly between his teeth, twice more before you arrived at the red carpet. Perhaps there was hope. You certainly wanted to believe there was as you got out and Ben offered you his arm. Together you made your way down the carpet, breaking apart to sign posters and photos for fans, pausing for quickfire interviews, sometimes together, sometimes apart. You talked about who you were wearing and smiled whenever Ben complemented you, returning the sweet words with your own. But there was a tension in the way Ben carried himself, like he was trying to stop himself running away from you and was only barely managing it. And then there was the lack of contact. Where he’d usually grab your hand and squeeze it for support, he instead settled on bumping fingers and pulling away like a teenager on their first date still a little scared of cooties. He didn’t hug you or wrap an arm around your waist as you walked down the carpet, didn’t come any closer than he had to. Even when you stopped in front of a wall of cameras and had people yelling at you to kiss he seemed reluctant. It wasn’t the usual soft, sweet brush of his lips. It was quicker, more self-conscious, like an obligation. Like he’d have gone for a simple cheek kiss if he’d thought he could get away with it. But, if Ben was acting less affectionate, you were acting more so. You found any excuse to touch his arm or lean on his shoulder, any excuse to get a little closer. It was possible you could write his coldness off as stress or nerves about the premiere getting to him, and if that was the case you wanted to be extra warm to make up for it. And even if his demeanour was directly related to a lack of interest in you, it made you feel better to make it harder for him. But it also made you question the sanity of your plan. Was it worth it to tell him? Would you even be able to convince him to join you in a less public area so you could talk? It was an argument you continued to have with yourself the entire night. All the way down the red carpet. As you entered the theatre. Even while you were on stage, beaming at each other as you talked about how proud you were of the movie, how much you’d enjoyed making it and how much you hoped the audience liked it. Watching the film was a slightly surreal experience. You’d seen those expression’s on Ben’s face off set as much as on. The way Andy looked at Edith, the small, shy smile he got when she complemented him, the pleading in his eyes when he was trying to convince her he still loved her, the soft loving gaze as he watched her at their engagement party. You’d seen them all, directed not at Edith but you, Y/N. You wondered if he’d noticed the same things about you. Did your face give away your feelings as much as his did? Had you been looking at him like that without even realising it? You chanced a glanced at Ben, but he was staring resolutely at the screen.

Afterwards you were ushered out of the theatre along with your co-stars, back to the cars. The group split in half, you and Ben leaving with Alfie tagging along. Not that you minded, it made the drive a little more enjoyable than it would have been otherwise. You still weren’t sure what you were going to do and this way you got to escape making a decision for a little longer. But not forever. The car pulled up to a club that had essentially been hired out for the cast and crew to celebrate in. Most people were already there and already a couple of drinks in. You cuddled up to Ben at the first flash of the cameras, hanging off his arm as you headed inside. Now was your chance. The entrance was the quietest part of the building and there was a long corridor that led to a set of bathrooms, completely devoid of other people. If you were going to tell him, that would be the perfect place. But before you could indicate you wanted a private word he caught your arm. “Can I speak to you over here for a sec?” You nodded and accompanied him towards the hallway. The trim was a deep teal colour but the rest of the hallway was one long mirror and for a moment you were distracted by what you and Ben looked like together. “Y/N?” “Yes, sorry,” you said, pulling your focus back to him, “Um, actually, I kinda had something I wanted to say too,” Ben didn’t acknowledge your sentence just bowled on through with his own, “I was going to hold off until later but I don’t want to let something slip after a few drinks or anything like that. I can’t do this anymore. This whole thing was a mistake that I should never have agreed to and I need it to be over now.” “What does that mean?” “Y/N, don’t be difficult.” His sneer was reflected at you from every angle “Who’s being difficult? You know they’re going to break us up in like a week, right?” “Yeah well, that’s too long to wait. I’m breaking us up now. They can still run the story whenever they want to but I am going to tell my parents because I am so fucking sick of Mum asking when I’m bringing you back. And…” he paused as if contemplating the next part, “I don’t think I can see you again, not for a while at least. I need some space to forget this ever happened. I um, I start my new job in a few days so I think they’ll probably use that in the magazines to explain our breakup. And I don’t expect I’ll see you until after it’s finished. If then. So….good luck with that witch movie. Take care of yourself.” He pushed past you back out into the main entry before you could fully understand what had just happened. By the time you found your voice he was gone.

You walked in a daze, out the door you’d only just entered, back to where the cars waited. Your last opportunity, gone. As soon as you were alone in the back of the car you called Felicity. “Are you calling just to brag about how much fun you’re having?” Your voice was steady as you spoke, “Can you come to mine, like, now?” “Aren’t you out at the party though?” “Something happened and I left,” “Honey? What happened, are you okay? Is Ben there?” Hearing his name was like a punch in the gut and you felt your voice shake as it got harder to breath calmly, “No, h-he’s not,” “Okay, I’ll be there in ten.” By the time you pulled up outside the house, she was waiting on the front doorstep with a shopping bag. “I bought ice cream and booze. Wasn’t sure which was more necessary.” “What kind of booze?” you asked as you dug your key out of your clutch, voice thick. “Baileys,” “It’ll do. Think I have something stronger round here as well.” “Here, let me help,” Felicity took the key from your shaking hand and successfully opened the door. As soon as you were inside, she steered you to the lounge room and sat you on the couch. The baileys and tubs of slightly melted ice cream were placed on the coffee table, condensation pooling on the smooth surface. She disappeared for a bit but you, reliving everything Ben had said, only noticed when she came back by the clanking of the spoons on the coffee table. She handed you a glass and you downed half of it in one hit. “Shit, that bad huh? You wanna tell me what happened?” she asked as she took the spot next to you and settled in, legs folded up under her. “I…I think I love Ben,” it was half sob as the magnitude of his words fully hit you. “Isn’t that a good thing though?” You shook your head, trying to keep composed when you realised how much you had to explain. Felicity just looked confused as she took a spoon of ice cream. “It was fake. The whole relationship. All the dates and all the pictures of us and everything was planned out by the studio to drum up hype for the movie.” “Wait, really?” she looked more shocked than you’d expected, “Everything? Even the stuff you told me on the phone?” You nodded, “I didn’t want to keep it from you but there was a contract involved.” “Okay, that’s insane. I had no idea that actually happened! So, all of it was fake?” “All of it. More or less anyway.” “The three orgasms?” “Yeah,” you nodded slowly, not even able to laugh at where her mind went first, “Well sort of. I mean it was only two but it didn’t happened then, it was a bit later and he said…” you broke off again, trying to swallow though your mouth felt completely dry. “Wait, you gotta go back, I’m not following,” “Okay,” you tried to steady yourself but your leg bounced against the floor and your fingers twisted against each other, “The studio set up our relationship and we were just acting the whole time except…except I found out th-that Ben actually did love me,” you had to take another steadying breath, Felicity’s hand shooting out to squeeze your knee reassuringly, “I overheard him on the phone and I freaked out because I didn’t realise I felt the same. I thought it was just the job getting to me and I figured once the studio broke us up it’d be over except then we actually did sleep together for real at his parents place and he told me he loved me during it and I realised I actually do like him and I tried to tell him but he couldn’t even look at me and the next day he said it was a mistake and that he’d never loved me and then tonight he basically told me he doesn’t want to see me again and I don’t know what to do.” by the time everything was out you were breathless and well and truly in tears. Felicity got up to grab you a tissue and when she returned she sat down right beside you, practically on top of you, so you could lean on her shoulder as you cried. Your heart ached at the thought of never seeing Ben again, but Felicity comforted you until you calmed enough to repeat some of the parts she’d missed. Eventually she had enough of a grasp of it to offer some advice. “Why don’t you call him, tell him how you feel?” “You didn’t see how he looked at me tonight. He wants nothing to do with me,” “God he must have been a good lay to make you fall so hard,” You let out a watery laugh at that. “I can’t believe the whole thing was fake and I didn’t pick it. You’re a good actress. Had me completely fooled.” “That was kinda the point. Helped that we both did like each other too. I was just too dumb to see it,” “Nah, you weren’t dumb. It can’t have been easy having to pretend the whole time,” she was silent for a second, stroking your hair, “He’ll come round. You wait, he’ll be calling up tomorrow to apologise for being such an arse.”

But there was no call. Not the next day or the day after or the day after that. You waited, curled up in bed hoping that if you stared at the phone long enough you could force it to ring, but the only calls you got were from Felicity, checking to see if you’d gotten out of bed at all, and one from Mary to go over the details of the break up. Ben had been right, they were going to use his new movie as the catalyst. “Distance is a known relationship killer and Ben is filming outside of the UK so it’ll be easy to sell it as a result of that. Plus, as far as the public know, you’ve had some rocky patches anyway so it shouldn’t take much to convince everyone you’re over.” “Wait, he’s not in London?” “Not from what I’ve heard.” “Do you know where he is?” “Y/N, I’m not his agent.” As soon as you were off the phone you sent Ben a text wishing him good luck with the new movie, but he left you on read. To try and distract yourself you opened Instagram and watched some of your friend’s stories, but it didn’t work for long and you quickly closed the app down. In the first couple of days you’d spent a lot of time scrolling through social media, checking the regular hashtags, seeing what people were saying about you and Ben. To start it had just been a lot of comments, complements and criticism alike, about what you’d worn to the premiere. But gradually the speculation crept in. People could see something was off, even if they couldn’t tell what. Gossip blogs direct messaged you looking for confirmation that you were either still together or, better yet, split up. You saw tweets casting you as the jilted ex, so blinded by love she didn’t see the end coming. Others were sure you had been or would be the one to break it off, sometimes proclaiming it a win for independent women everywhere, sometimes a villainous attack on poor Ben. You stopped looking after that. It just made you more upset and you weren’t sure you could handle what else might be posted. For one thing, you couldn’t remember if there had been photos taken of you fleeing the party not ten minutes after arriving. You had to assume there had been, though at the time you were too distraught to notice. And then there was the idea that someone might have seen Ben pull you aside, might have intended to sneak some shots of you making out in a deserted corridor and instead caught the moment he broke your heart. You definitely wouldn’t be able to cope with that. Just thinking about it sent a wave of despair through you, seeing it would be ten times worse. Not that you had any reason to believe you had been seen but you never knew with these things and it was better to be safe than sorry.

You stuck to your no-social-media guns even after the breakup was officially announced but, unfortunately, all the previous times you’d clicked on article after article, scrolled through tweets about yourself, had impacted things your phone recommended to you and you found yourself being ambushed by photos of you and Ben accompanied by headlines proclaiming the split. The worst came a few days after the news broke when you saw an article about Ben being back in the dating game. According to the website his account on Bumble had been active again for the first time in months. Any notions you’d had about getting over him were proved wrong as soon as you realised what the article was saying. Your chest tightened until you felt like you could barely breathe and the words on the screen began to blur. You sent a link to it to Felicity who called you as soon as she saw it. “It can’t be real, Y/N.” “Why not. We weren’t really dating so what’s to stop him finding someone else now?” “It’s been like three days since it was announced, his PR team or whatever would hate an article like this because it makes him look like a sleezy fuckboy.” “So then it’s not leaked by his people, it’s more likely to be legit.” “Or it’s made up to get hits.” “Maybe he meant it,” “Meant what?” “That he never loved me.” “I very much doubt that.” “How would you know, you never met him,” “No but I saw the photos of how he looked at you,” “Which weren’t real,” “Fine, maybe I don’t know what I’m on about. But you met him, and I’d guess you know him pretty well by now, and to be this torn up about him you must have thought there was a chance he felt the same way.” She waited for you to say something else but, when she was met with nothing but your sniffles she kept talking, “I still think you need to talk to him. Leave him a voicemail if he doesn’t answer.” “I don’t think he’d listen even if I did,” you sighed miserably. “Y/N, honey, I know you’re hurting but you can’t keep waiting for him to call. If you really want to be with him then call him and tell him that. Or forget about him. But either way you have got to stop wallowing like this. I’m coming over tonight and I expect to see you out of bed at least, preferably showered and in clean clothes.”

You’d ended the call just as dejected as when you’d made it, though with the added pain of a headache from crying too much. Slowly you slipped out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen to search for your box of painkillers. Reaching into the cupboard for a glass your fingers brushed over your coffee mug. Distracted from your original goal, you pulled the mug down and stared at it, tracing over the design Ben had painted on it. The purple splatters, the ring, the words. We’re really good at this dating thing. If only you’d realised back then what you felt. You might have actually been with Ben by now. Certainly, if you’d known you would have said something after you overheard his phone call. You’d been standing just a few steps over when you’d heard it, his low voice and the bitter laugh as he told Joe how shit it was to unrequitedly love someone. You hated knowing how right he’d been. But the memory gave you an idea. What you’d said to Felicity was true, she’d never known Ben beyond what he let the public see so she was hardly a reliable judge of character. But you knew someone who did know Ben. Calling him was probably insane. It wasn’t like you were particularly close, and with how your last conversation had ended, it definitely felt more bad idea than good. But, then again, that had been before the premiere, before Ben had gone radio silent, and desperate times called for desperate measures. Quickly, before you could rethink the idea, you picked up your phone and found Joe’s number again.

“Joe speaking,” “Is Ben dating again?” you blurted out. “What? Who is this?” “Sorry, it’s Y/N. Is it true Ben’s dating again?” “Why exactly are you calling me about this?” he sounded completely baffled. “Ben won’t answer or return my texts or anything,” “So naturally you call me. You ever think maybe it’s a hint he doesn’t want to talk to you?” You changed tact, “Do you know where his new movie’s filming?” “Yes but I’m not telling you,” You grunted in frustration. Why was he being so fucking difficult about this, “Look if you just told me I could get out of your hair. There’s something Ben needs to know.” “What sort of something?” “None of your business,” “Okay, well, good luck then.” “Wait!” you paused, listening for the click of the phone being hung up. It didn’t come. “Can I ask one more thing?” “Go on then,” “Did Ben actually love me? At any point?” There was silence for long enough to make you think he’d hung up and then, softly, “Yeah, he did. Don’t tell him I said it, but I think he still does.” “Then can you please just tell me where in the world he is because I need to tell him I love him too and he won’t fucking let me.” “Wait, really?” “Yeah,” “I fucking knew it,” the sound of Joe slapping something in excitement echoed down the line, “I knew it!” “And you didn’t think to let either of us know?” “Well you I’d only just met so I couldn’t be sure. And Ben can be so fucking stubborn sometimes,” “Yeah, tell me about it.” Joe’s laugh was loud and clear, “He’s in Spain. Barcelona to be exact. Give me a minute and I can probably get you the name of the hotel,” you heard some paper rustling, “I fucking knew it.”

When Felicity arrived the next day, she was pleased to see you not only out of bed, showered and dressed, but busily working away at something on the computer. Her happiness slipped into something much closer to disbelief when you told her the plan you’d come up with after your conversation with Joe, but you pointed out that really it was her fault for being adamant that you should talk to Ben. “I can’t just call and hope Ben doesn’t delete the message, I have to make him listen. Otherwise I’ll never know for sure.” “Okay but you know this sounds fucking insane, right? What if he’s not there? What if he refuses to see you?” “Then I come home again as soon as I can and try to move on. Look, I know it’s like completely ridiculous and mad but I have to do something. You’re gonna help me, right?” “Well duh.” The first thing she helped you do was find a good flight. It was a little later than you’d wanted but it took off that night and didn’t stop over in any other countries. You bought a one way ticket just in case Ben wanted you to stay. Once you had it you couldn’t help but laugh. It was fitting, this grand gesture to tell Ben how you felt. The sort of thing you’d expect to see in a rom-com. And considering you’d met on the set of one, had acted out the scene already (though of course, he’d been the one running through the rain to find you in the movie), it made a certain sort of sense that this was what you had to do. Apparently the universe had a sense of humour. The rest of the evening was spent putting the plan into motion, packing a suitcase in the hopes you’d be there at least a little while. Felicity drove you to the airport, talking excitedly about how she couldn’t believe you were actually going to fly to Spain just to talk to a boy. It helped to keep you calm as you oscillated between wishing you could go faster and wondering if this wasn’t a big mistake. When you voiced this out loud Felicity made a frustrated noise, nearly forgetting to break at a red light. “You are not backing out of this Y/N. I swear to god I’ll get on that plane with you if I have to. You’re doing this.” “I know, I know. Thanks,” “It’s what I’m here for. I know how to get my best friend laid.” You snorted your laughter.

There was no need for Felicity to join you on the plane, though she stayed with you until your flight boarded, the nerves only getting stronger. You took your seat and waited for everyone else to find theirs, watching as businessmen and tourists shuffled past you. The two or so hours the flight took was the hardest part. At home you’d had the process of packing and planning to occupy your mind, as well as Felicity’s constant conversation. But on the plane, you had nothing but the entertainment screen and a magazine you’d picked up in the airport. And they could hardly be called distractions. The crossword puzzle at the back of the magazine just reminded you of sitting next to Ben on the flight to New York, the articles made you think about everything that had been published about you over the previous half a year, and the screen seemed to hold nothing but romantic movies designed to make you emotional. You had to grab the sick bag tucked into the seat pouch in front of you at one point, fearing the building anticipation would make you throw up. But you, and the woman in the seat next to yours, were able to breathe a sigh of relief when you landed, vomit free. After that you were moving again, able to focus on each step as they came. Finding a cab, telling the driver where you needed to go, watching the buildings flying past as you drove towards the hotel. You glanced at the time and wondered if it had been a mistake to not wait until morning but the idea of trying to sleep another night without knowing how Ben actually felt was impossible to contemplate. When the cab pulled up outside the hotel you fumbled pulling your card out of your purse, and then climbed out and grabbed your suitcase, hoping it hadn’t just been wishful thinking to pack it. Joe had given you Ben’s room number, so you headed straight for the elevator, counted the floors as you past each one. All of a sudden you were walking down the hall, searching for his room, standing outside his door, knocking on it. There was silence from inside, so you knocked again. More silence. You chewed the inside of your cheek as you contemplated what to do. It was possible he wasn’t in there, maybe caught up with the rest of the cast somewhere. You glanced at the time again. It wasn’t exactly early and there was a do not disturb sign swinging from the door handle, maybe he’d called it a night already and was sleeping peacefully. Third time’s the charm, you thought as you raised your fist to knock again. If he didn’t answer you’d go downstairs and make an enquiry at the reception desk, see if anyone knew if he was in or not. You’d just pulled your hand away again when you heard it, footsteps coming towards the door followed by a deep, familiar voice that said, “I’m coming, I’m coming,”, and then he was tugging it open, mumbling something about not being disturbed. He stopped when he saw you, tired eyes blinking in disbelief, wearing a t-shirt and flannel pyjama pants. Your heart was hammering against your chest as you tried to remember everything you’d planned to say. “Y/N? What ar-” You put your hand over his mouth as your brain kicked back into gear, “You wouldn’t reply to my texts and I didn’t know if you’d listen to any voicemails I left you but I have something I need to tell you so that’s why I’m here. I love you. I didn’t realise it at first but I think I started to feel something after our first date, maybe earlier, I can’t tell. By the time I started to think that maybe I liked you as more than a friend I thought it was just because we were acting like we were in love but then spending time with your family made me realise it wasn’t just pretend, I wanted to be with you. And when we slept together, that just confirmed it for me, I love you. I wanted to tell you that night but you shut me out and then you said you’d never loved me and I didn’t know what to do so I thought I’d wait until after the premiere except then you broke up with me and stopped talking to me and it’s been hell without you. I’ve missed you so much, so fucking much, and all I’ve wanted is to see you again and hear your voice and hug you and I’d really like to date you for real, or at least be friends again because not having you in my life is complete shit.” You stopped and slowly pulled your hand away from him, breathing as hard as if you’d just run a marathon, blinking away the tears that had begun to form. Ben stared at you, lips slightly parted. When he didn’t move, didn’t respond, you began to think you’d made a monumental error, “That’s all I had to say,” you mumbled, already preparing yourself to have the door shut in your face. “Thank God,” he breathed out as he suddenly moved, pressing his lips to yours, cupping your face with one hand as the other pulled your body tight against his. Pure relief flooded your system, as you kissed him back as hard as you could manage, determined to show him exactly how much you felt for him. Together you teetered on the spot, his fingers tight on your waist, yours pressing into his chest and the back of his neck. Even when you stopped kissing you remained standing close enough to see the tears clinging to his eyelashes, both of you breathing hard as you adjusted to the knowledge your feelings were reciprocated.

The creak of a door further up the hallway reminded you where you were. “Are you staying?” he asked softly, closing his eyes, nudging your nose with his. “Is that okay?” “More than okay. I’m so happy to see you.” He broke away for real a few seconds later, though his hand quickly found yours so he could pull you inside his suite. It was nicer than the ones you’d shared in America, bigger, more spacious. Perks of living there for months rather than weeks. You left your bag in the entrance, let him lead you towards the couch. The coffee table was littered with dirty dishes. “Comfort food,” he shrugged when he saw you looking, “I was a fucking idiot.” “Little bit. Can’t say I was much smarter though,” He chuckled at that and followed it up with a sigh, “I’m really sorry for how I acted,” he said softly, frowning a little as he brushed some of your hair behind your ear. You took the seat he offered you, perched on the edge of the couch, unsure how to be comfortable until everything that needed to be said had been. Ben followed suit, taking the place next to yours, your knees pointing towards each other. For a moment neither of you spoke. There was a lot to process, a lot you still wanted to know, and it was hard to work out where to start. Finally you broke the silence, “Why’d you do it?” He understood what you meant, “After that night at my parent’s…. I thought I’d fucked everything up when I said that while we were y’know. After the first time I told you and you nearly ran off, how could you ever want to see me again? And I was so worried I’d never be able to get over you. I thought if I told you I’d never been into you, acted like it, then I could make it true.” “Did it work?” “Of course not,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Which is why I pushed you away. I figured it would be easier to get over you if I didn’t have to see you or act like your boyfriend and I knew I’d be coming here so it seemed like a good idea to make a clean break of it.” You nodded, processing what he’d said. Hesitantly he reached for your hand again, pulled it from your lap, closer to him, so he could play with your fingers. You were happy to let him. Ben stifled a yawn, “Sorry. Promise it’s not ‘cause I’m bored,” You realised just how tired he looked. It was late after all, and he’d probably had a long day filming. You yourself felt pretty worn out too, no longer running on adrenaline and anxiety. But there was still one thing you needed to hear before you could relax. Everything else, all the questions that remained and everything you’d need to discuss, it could all wait until the morning except this one thing. “Has there been anyone else?” “Anyone else what?” “I saw a thing about you dating again,” Ben shook his head, “No. I went out with some mates back in London, before I left, and, um, they tried. Said I’d get over you easier if I hooked up with someone else, but I didn’t want anyone else.” It felt like a weight was lifted and you smiled, let your head fall to his shoulder. He kept running his fingers over yours until he yawned again, “Sorry.” “Long day?” “Not long exactly. Just, a lot, y’know.” “You wanna go to bed?” He nodded and yawned again but he waited until you’d got your suitcase before he stood up, watching you the whole time. He’d clearly been in bed when you’d knocked, the blankets out of place, the lights out, and the TV on with the volume down low. Ben replaced the light from the TV with that from a lamp and readjusted the covers as you ducked into the bathroom to change. When you exited the bathroom you found him sitting up in bed, staring at the door. “You okay?” “Brilliant,” he said softly, giving you a small smile. He shuffled down further under the covers as you climbed in beside him, turned to face each other. There was a moment where he seemed almost afraid to touch you, hand stopping short. You just shuffled closer, caught his hand and placed it around you. “You’re actually here, yeah? I’m not just dreaming it?” “I’m here Ben.” “Don’t leave, okay?” “I won’t.” He took a breath and then said, so softly you might have missed it if the room weren’t so quiet, “I love you,” “I love you too,” With that reassurance he pulled you closer still and gave you a soft, lingering kiss.

Ben fought off sleep for as long as he could, eyes slipping shut and then blinking open again until finally his breathing evened out and he dropped off. It was sweet, his attempts to keep you in sight. You still weren’t certain he wasn’t going to vanish in a puff of smoke either. It seemed unreal that you could be there with him, wrapped up in his arms, with no one trying to catch you on camera. That was something you’d have to talk about before long, the tabloids. For the moment they were preoccupied running stories about your breakup but how long would it be before they sought you out for more? And when they found you together, they weren’t going to just let it go. Even now there was probably someone camped outside your house, hoping to catch a glimpse of you with another man or a tub of ice-cream and a box of tissues. How long before they realised you weren’t there? How long before they found out where you’d gone? Ben snuffled in his sleep and distracted you from your worries. It could all wait. You could feel yourself edging closer to sleep, helped along by the steady rise and fall of Ben’s chest, the familiar rhythm of him. A pinging noise cut though the quiet of the room and you realised it was your phone. Carefully, so as not to wake Ben, you extracted yourself from his arms and tiptoed over to your suitcase where you’d dumped the clothes you’d been wearing. Your phone dinged again and then again right as you found it. Y/N, What happened? You have to have arrived by now, did you find Ben? Y/N!!! I’m dying here!!! This silence better be because you’re being dicked down right now BITCH!!! ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!! You laughed quietly to yourself and typed back a quick reply, “I’m with Ben. Been talking. Will call tomorrow.” You’d barely hit send when a new reply came in, “So it worked? You’re together?” “Yeah. For real this time.” You dropped your phone amongst your things and climbed back into bed, snuggling back into Ben’s warm embrace.

[this-forest-within-me]

I write fanfic, and I’m actually really proud of it! I’ve been writing for many years, and have poetry accounts on Facebook and Instagram, but my main ambition has always been to write fiction novels.

Funnily enough, Robin Hood BBC gives me oodles of inspiration to do just that. This is a short story I wrote for my friend, Michelle, a huge Gisborne fan, for her Secret Santa gift. I hope you like it.

** It is aimed at Gisborne fans only - no outlaws are involved in the making of this **

Third Chances

The end was nigh. Sir Guy of Gisborne, once the Master-at-Arms and evil henchman to the Sheriff of Nottingham, black knight supreme, and killer of Lady Marian, his one true love, was dying. Stabbed by Vaisey, the sheriff himself, in a fight to the death, he lay on the ground in the tunnels beneath Nottingham Castle, and thought about the life he had lived. About the mistakes he had made, and the people he was leaving behind.

Robin Hood, formerly his sworn enemy and love rival but now his brother in arms, held Guy tightly as his breathing slowed, and then, the black knight was gone and Robin laid him gently on the ground.

He was left alone, his lifeless body, swathed in black leather, resting on the cold, stone floor, his black hair fanned around his head. And, when the castle exploded above him, he didn't notice a thing.

***

Two days later, after a full day and night of torrential rain which had doused the raging fire in the castle, leaving a smouldering, blackened pile of stone, the salvage team was sent in. Made up of various villagers from Nottinghamshire, as well as bounty hunters from further afield, their main aim was to recover bodies, along with any valuables that hadn't been destroyed in the explosion, caused by Robin Hood's final arrow, aflame, hitting a barrel of Byzantine Greek fire.

There wasn't much hope for survivors. The Byzantine fire had decimated the castle keep, and there was barely anything left of the imposing fortress. Only rubble and death.

Michelle of Clun was part of a small team who had been sent below the castle, into the secret tunnels that had connected the castle to Sherwood Forest. Unused for many years, they had recently been the scene of a bloodthirsty battle between Isabella of Gisborne and Vaisey, former Sheriffs of Nottingham, and Guy of Gisborne and Robin Hood. The battle, that had been coming for many months, had ended with the death of everyone involved, apart from Archer, the illegitimate brother of both Gisborne and Hood, who now lived in the forest with Robin's outlaw gang.

All that should remain in the tunnels below the castle was the body of Gisborne, which Archer had requested be removed and receive a Christian burial.

Michelle felt a degree of melancholy as she descended into the tunnels depths. Although she hadn't known the imposing black knight in person, she had seen him around, and had admired his dark good looks from a distance. She had also sensed the yearning deep in his soul, for it mirrored her own.

She wasn't looking forward to seeing such a great man reduced to nothing more than a corpse, but the pay for salvaging was handsome, and she needed the money. It had been a difficult year. She only hoped that the sight of Guy of Gisborne's body wouldn't make her openly cry.

There was rubble all around, and, as Michelle and her compatriots scanned the area, she worried that they would not find a body in one piece. Setting out alone, she moved further into the cellar, coughing a little as she disturbed piles of dust. Holding her lantern above her head, she glimpsed a flash ahead of her and recognised the muted shine of a leather-clad arm, and a motionless hand. As she drew closer, she realised a wooden beam had fallen diagonally, wedging itself between the ground and the ceiling, and causing the rubble above it to pile onto the wooden beam. Beneath it lay Gisborne's body, protected.

Michelle called out to her workmates and fell to her knees beside the body. In repose, Guy's face was pale and austere, beautifully handsome. His leather jacket was a bloodied mess, and she tried not to look too closely. She felt a pang of loss. Although she had never even spoken to him, he had felt like a kindred spirit, yet his life had been snuffed out so early. Before she had even had chance to say hello.

She reached out a gentle hand to brush the dust from his face, and it barely registered that he was still warm before his bloodshot eyes snapped open, staring at her uncomprehendingly.

She shrieked, and Denton, one of the other salvagers, reached her first, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Michelle, are you alright?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed. "It's Gisborne. He— he's alive."

The rest of the gang joined them, and Guy was briefly and inexpertly examined. He was alive, but in a bad way. He had lost a lot of blood, and his wound was deep and jagged. It was unlikely that he would survive, but Michelle was suddenly galvanised into action.

They fashioned a makeshift stretcher and lifted Guy onto it. He cried out in pain, but his words were delirious and made little sense. There was no room to take him to the upper levels of the castle, so it was agreed that he would be transported further along the tunnel and into the forest. From there, Michelle intended to take him to her home nearby, where she would call for the wise-woman, Matilda.

***

It took a while to manoeuvre their way out of the tunnels, but, eventually, they reached Michelle's modest cottage in the village of Clun. They laid the knight out on her mattress.

"What will you do with 'im, Michelle?" Rose, one of the other salvagers, asked, and Michelle shrugged.

"I don't yet know, but I have to try to save him," she replied.

"Just be careful, Michelle," Denton warned. "He was never a nice man. I'd hate for yer to get hurt."

They left to return to the castle, and Michelle covered Guy with fleeces and ran as fast as she could to Matilda's forest dwelling. The wise-woman was tending to her herb garden, yet gathered her things together and followed Michelle, sensing the urgency in her friend's words.

Once in Michelle's cottage, she stopped and stared at the figure on the bed.

"My dear, dear 'Chelle. Why are yer wasting yer time on this scoundrel? I reckon 'e deserves to die, more so than my poor Robin did."

"Maybe so," Michelle replied. "But he's alive, and I can't allow him to suffer."

Matilda shrugged. "Very well. We will need hot water, and rags. Oh, an' a sharp knife so I can remove these leathers. I need to get to the wound," she added to a wide-eyed Michelle.

Matilda worked long into the day, removing Guy's clothes, cleaning the deep wound, and stitching it. Guy cried out in delirium and stared about him, although he never saw them. He muttered to himself and shouted, speaking to Robin and Marian and Archer, crying for his mother. Michelle did her best to hold him down while Matilda worked on the wound, and it wasn't difficult for he was very weak.

Once the wound was sewn and covered, they attempted to feed him with broth. He took a little and drank deeply when offered water. Matilda added something to the cup, and, eventually, he slept.

Michelle stayed with him almost constantly. His sleep was restless, and his skin burned with fever. He called out constantly, and pawed at the bandages. Sometimes, he cried, speaking Marian's name, begging for her forgiveness. Other times, he shouted for his mother, his voice forlorn and lost. Michelle tended to him, cleaning him constantly, and ensuring he was comfortable. She slept in short intervals, alert to Guy's needs, always on hand to serve him. She was exhausted, but the desire to nurse the knight back to health was paramount. He deserved a second chance; everybody deserved a second chance. Even a third chance.

On the seventh day, Guy's fever broke, and the knight slept peacefully, at long last. Exhausted yet pleased, Michelle pulled blankets around herself and curled up by the fire, falling into a deep sleep.

When she finally awoke, she had no idea where she was. She was facing the stone hearth, and her slumber had been so deep that she was, for a moment, confused. But then, it all came flooding back; entering the castle ruins, finding Guy's body, bringing him home, and nursing him through the worst of his fever.

She rubbed her eyes, sleepily, and stretched. Behind her, the mattress creaked and a tentative voice broke the silence.

"My— my lady. Please tell me where I am and why I am here."

With a gasp, Michelle whipped round, clutching the blankets beneath her chin. Guy was awake, watching her in bewilderment. His gaze softened as he regarded her startled countenance.

"I don't mean to alarm you. But," he looked around the cottage. "I have no recollection of getting here. What happened? And why am I," he looked downwards, appearing embarrassed. "Why am I naked?"

Michelle blushed and scrambled to her feet. It had been easier to keep him unclothed while she tended to his needs, including his bodily functions. She couldn't deny having admired his body while she worked, and she hoped it wasn't written all over her face.

"My lord," she stammered. "I apologise. I found you in the castle, close to death, and brought you to my home. You had been stabbed and everybody thought you were dead."

She watched the puzzlement on Guy's face turn to realisation as he recalled the events that had lead to him being stabbed. He looked stricken.

"Robin?"

Michelle shook her head, regretfully, and his expression fell. "What about Isabella? The Sheriff?"

"The castle exploded," Michelle explained, gently. "They both died."

A tumult of emotions passed over his features before they settled on grim satisfaction. He nodded, stonily. "They got what they deserved."

Unsure of how to reply, Michelle fell silent, and, after a short pause, he looked up at her, hopefully.

"I'm hungry and thirsty. Is there anything to eat?"

Glad of something to do, Michelle fetched him broth and cooled boiled water, and he drank both, greedily, and asked for seconds. Once he was full, he asked for clothing.

His leather outfit was ruined, having been cut off his body by Matilda, who had commented bawdily on his emerging body parts. Cringing slightly, Michelle told him that his former outfit was not suitable to wear anymore, and he shrugged.

"Leathers were the old me. I need something new."

Enthusiastically, she left him consuming more broth and ran to her neighbour's cottage. Robert was tall and built similarly to Guy, and he presented her with clothing suitable for the black knight. Returning to the cottage, Michelle found Guy sleeping again, and she lay the outfit, roughly-made leggings and a loose black tunic, out on the mattress beside him, before setting to work filling the water supply and collecting firewood.

He awoke much later and dressed, gratefully, before attempting to rise. He was too weak, though, and Michelle had to help him, wedging her shoulder under his armpit and guiding him outside so he could relieve himself. Although she turned away to preserve his dignity, he remained unembarrassed in her presence.

"I don't even know your name," he said to her, once they were back in the cottage, and he was eagerly spooning more broth into his mouth.

"It is Michelle," she said, shyly.

He nodded. "Of course. A beautiful name for a beautiful person."

"Oh, I don't know." Michelle avoided his eyes, directing her gaze at the floor, modestly, but he reached out to put a finger under her chin, raising her head until her eyes met his.

"I tell the truth," he said, softly, looking into her eyes. "I owe you my life. You have selflessly nursed me back to health, even though you didn't have to. I don't know how to repay you."

Michelle smiled, faintly. "I'm just glad that you are recovering, my lord."

"It is Guy," he told her, firmly. "You can call me Guy. I am no longer lord of anywhere."

"You will always be a lord to me, Guy." Michelle looked at him, unable to hide the adoration in her eyes, and he stroked a finger across her cheek.

Michelle could feel herself falling for the black knight, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Indeed, the longer he resided with her, the less effort she put into hiding it. She hoped against hope that he would eventually feel the same way, and sometimes, she thought that he did. It was in the way he watched her when he thought she didn't know, in the way his hand lingered on hers when she helped him to move about. It was in the way he spoke her name, like it was the most precious, exotic word he had ever uttered. Maybe he was just grateful to her, but Michelle hoped it was more, because she was mad about him.

The day that she was dreading finally arrived. Guy was finally well enough to return to his home in Locksley. His wound had almost healed, and she couldn't blame him for wanting to leave her small, humble abode for the opulence of Locksley Manor.

She could barely contain her grief as he prepared to leave. He seemed reluctant about something, and hadn't spoken for quite some time, which sent Michelle spiralling into a depressed silence. He had no need for her anymore; this was obvious.

She busied herself about the small cottage, attempting to convince herself that his leaving was for the best, and that she could get back to normality once he had gone, when suddenly, he was by her side.

"Michelle," he said, urgently, and she looked at him in surprise. Next minute, he took her in his arms and began to kiss her with a desperation that astonished her.

Sensing her reluctance to respond, he released her quickly and backed away. "I'm sorry. I overstepped the mark."

"No, no." Michelle reached out for him, then stopped herself. "You surprised me, is all. I didn't think you felt the same way."

"You mean, you have feelings for me?" It was Guy's turn to express surprise, and Michelle nodded.

A genuine smile spread across his face. "Then, may I kiss you again, my lady?"

"Yes, please," Michelle said.

A long while later, they parted and he smiled, taking her by the hand and leading her with him to Locksley. They paused on the edge of the village, looking across at Locksley Manor, Guy's former home. The outlaw gang were waiting in the courtyard, a shadow of their former self. Archer saw Guy and moved a few steps in their direction, a hand raised in greeting.

Autumn had Sherwood in its grasp, and the trees surrounding the small village blazed with russet and gold and brown, the ground coated with fallen leaves that crunched underfoot. Locksley was in mourning, for the great Robin Hood was dead, but, as Guy and Michelle walked through the village towards the manor house, hand-in-hand, Guy realised that not everything had to end in the fall, and that new beginnings were always there if you wished for them hard enough.

The end.