#im working on one rn but its taking so long to finish because *points to the rant text above*

[diwns]

the reason why i havent post a single gif set of zayne is because im weak ok he looks at me and i melt into a puddle how can i stare at a clip of him with this lovey dovey eyes and expect me to be productive its impossible

[youredreamingofroo]

Goodbye? I don't think so. I hope not. A very, very long rant about storage (🙄), simblr and whatever the fuck else I go on about for a few paragraphs. Skip to the end at the gold text for a more.... "definitive" answer. Especially if you want to skip the nitty gritty and sappy wappy.

i dont know what to do anymore, I freed up 18 GBs of space it all managed to go down the drain in literally an hour, Im moving my blender things to my external HDD, because that alone is 20 GBs (because of Scene sizes), I just hate to free up the space because I dont want it to go right back down. This all sucks cuz I really really enjoy being on Simblr, but sims 4 just continues to be a nuisance, whether its actual problems or its storage problems, it just always finds a way, every year, to get me to suddenly decide that im retiring until my next bout of Sims 4 hyperfixation. I love all of you guys and I love seeing how you all enjoy my work, and what I do, and I love seeing your stuff, you all make such amazing creations, granted if I stopped playing TS4, it wouldnt mean I have to stop interacting on simblr, it just wouldnt be the same. A pattern I notice anytime I start a social media platform, is that something always finds its way into completely demotivating me from posting, whether it's just literal lack of motivation, depression, realizing a project is too vast for me, storage problems, it's always something and it's always when I finally get comfortable or happy on a platform, especially after making friends, not that im saying my friends are one of the reasons I leave, thats far from it. I REALLY dont wanna take a break from Sims 4, I really really genuinely wanna start posting my story (W.A.S), but I'm not like a Sims 4 youtuber, I can't remain dedicated to one game, I play other games, I wanna play the Witcher games (or at least try to play them, I kinda suck rn), I wanna finish Detroit become human, I want to 100% Beyond two souls (and DBH), I wanna finish Disco elysium (started and never fucking finished 💀), I want to play Baldur's Gate 3, I mean, I purchased it at full price and I can't even play the game??... 😮‍💨 You get the point. At this point I wouldn't consider this a "goodbye," note, not... necessarily? I just get so frustrated having no storage, not to mention the fact that I need storage to literally do the stuff I do, like make edits, make poses, make renders, so the fact that I can't even do that, is just like... what's the point of even having Sims 4 anymore at that point? But I don't wanna leave simblr, I don't want to stop creating. It's funny, as I write this, I continue to give myself more and more of a reason to leave, the only real thing that's stopping me is just the fact that there's so many nice people here, I know that if I stopped playing the sims 4, I'd probably move onto another game (BG3................,,,,,..) and leave tumblr, or, at least leave Simblr. Which as I (think) said before, that's sad, I'd be sad, I'd miss people like Lori (groovetrys) and Lauren (miralure), June (circusjuney), Jade (gamyrmaiden), Anna (holocene-sims), butter (buttertrait), Fae (acuar-io), Verco (vercosims) and god, so many others, and sorry to break the atmosphere suddenly, but as I'm writing this, I'm listening to "In another life," from Everything everywhere all at once and it's making this very emotional for me, so if it gets sappy I apologize.

And I guess to be... insanely honest, as much as I want to release my story (trust me, I REALLY want to), I'm slowly beginning to realize more and more how not-easy it's gonna be to make scenes, writing it is fine for me, its just setting up the scenes feels like i'm forbidden to a life of staring at a bunch of words (pose names) trying to figure out what's what, where is what, what to do, where is where, who is who, who is what, how is what, how and why, need I continue. Storytelling is so insanely important to me, I believe that despite how little I read and despite how terrible of a student I have been, and despite how poor my literature skills are, that storytelling is still so important, fuck it, poetry has been such an inspiration for me, but I don't fucking know how to write poetry?? I can barely understand poetry at times, but it's still all so beautiful to me, the concept and the fact that people use metaphors so meticulously to create an allegory for something beautiful, or traumatic or sad, like in not so berry, the concept of an ocean being alexanders "love," and cataleya drowning in it, and her realizing she's drowning in his "love," but when she wants to leave, she really wonders if she actually wants to leave, to conceptualize and create this awful relationship in the means of an ocean is so... well, not beautiful in a reality sense, but in a technical/literary sense, it's beautiful, it's expression, and THATS what im passionate about. Remember what I said about getting sappy? Yea, sorry about that. After a while, I wonder what good repeating myself does, I've said about 5 or 6 times that I don't want to leave, yet here I am, with the mouse over the uninstall button like an idiot about to press the big "DON'T TOUCH" button, perhaps it's the idea that after repeating myself over and over again, that maybe I'll make up my mind, do I do a coin flip? I never listen anyways, I always continue to flip until it lands on what I like. So... why am I still writing? To be honest, I should've stopped by now, but you can only stop a dam so much before it all comes out. I do this with my friends, when I'm sad, I pour my heart out until it's a repetitive and overcooked version of "I'm sad." I write paragraph after paragraph and I literally could've just said "I don't have storage. Considering leaving simblr," and the same message would've gotten across, and I apologize, if you're still reading this, for making such a lengthy post, but I couldn't quite help spilling a bit of water everywhere, although I guess now my little puddle of water has become a flood. I use metaphors a lot, I apologize... again.

So what does all this bullshit that I typed out mean?

I don't know. I wonder the same myself, I'm fighting a battle more fierce than the one I had with my period last week, "Do I uninstall Sims 4 so I can have more freedom, and enjoy more content? or do I continue this rigorous battle of needing storage for the sake of a tumblr page, my enjoyment for writing and other shit I do in the sims 4?" I cannot say I will take a hiatus, because I will procrastinate, and I will forget completely about posting, and tumblr in general. I do still, at the very least, want to release my Official Teaser for my story, whether it be my last post or not, and at the very least, I want to introduce you to the characters, whether it be my last post(s) or not. Not to mention the fact that I want to continue sharing about Roo even if it's not about sims 4 anymore, I mean hell, I haven't even finished off the Leo and Roo part of his timeline.

For an INCREDIBLY watered down answer on whether or not this is goodbye, I say to you, not in this moment, not definitive enough for you yeah? Well, that's the thing, I don't have a definitive answer, you could fucking tear apart this entire college essay mat-pat style, and still not have a definitive fucking answer, and that's because I don't, sorry to all the people who don't want to listen to me rant or who want a clear answer, but I just don't have one. I've been known to make impulsive and on the whim (when I'm really emotional) decisions, and this is a situation where I don't want to do that, because I care about what I have here with ya'll.

If this ends up being one of my last posts, I bid you all adieu, I love you all, and I thank you so so so much for the laughs, and for the mutual connection we may or may not have had, I do not know if I'll make any actual posts for the next few days as I consider my decision, I will float around of course and continue reblogging this and that, and commenting and liking, etc etc. There's also a chance I may wake up tomorrow and look at this and think I was just being overly emotional about this stuff, and that now I look like an idiot, which is the case 9 times out of 10.

[monpalace]

Okok, so my brain is not working with writing rn BUT i will finish that “reader and time pinning” thing that i was doing I PROMISE

BUT for now imma just share some thoughts of Time because he is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I NEED TO RANT ABOUT HIM

*ahem*

Ive said before (on my blog) that Time uses really old and kinda cringey petnames because 1, he genuinely loves them and 2, because he LOVES making the boys squirm in second hand embarrassment. SO, have a few more of those nicknames :D -> snookums, sugarplum, baby cakes, muffin, foxy, and toots

Young time (like teenage/young adult) was an absolute bastard BUT when he falls in love with someone, he is an absolute sweet heart! Think the ‘i hate everyone but you’ trope :3

Young! Time did not know romance AT ALL! That boy was raised by a tree and a bunch if spirit kids, he has know idea what a ‘date’ is. This leads to him just acting the same around his crush but being a little nicer to them

Is then very confused as to why they dont know that he likes them. “It was so obvious? I gave you a piece of my apple pie! I was so clear with my signs 🙄🙄”

He THEN reads all the romance novels he can get his hands on (legally and illegally) just so he can impress them! Completely misunderstood everything and now he just has to straight up tell them, cause how their hair is on fire…somehow

(Modern) Time is totally the type of guy that ‘doesn’t like drama shows’ but if his lover was watching one, he’d stand behind the couch and watch. But when his lover offers to move so he can sit hes like ‘no, im not even watching it. I was just bored’ and the proceeds to watch the next 3 episodes while standing.

(Modern) Time has a leather jacket that he LOVES!! Like he will cut someone for that thing, do not fuck with it. No one is aloud to wear it expect him….And his crush/lover but SHUSH!

Time enjoys polishing his armour/sword while you read a book out aloud. You both find it rather relaxing. Until something dramatic/a polt twists happens, all if the sudden the armour/sword is dropped to the side as Time is BAFFLED by this. “They killed Aaron?! Wh-what? Why!? He was the best choice for Max!” (Hes so invested, his duties are now discarded until you two finish this chapter)

I wanna do more but this is kinda chunky :3

I love dis man so much 🫶🫶

THE WAY I PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY CRINGED AT FOXY??? bro's the type to say "hey foxy mama" when you walk into a room unironically, he literally has no shame whatsoever whenever someone points out how dated that sounds to

time would fit the secret admirer trope so well though? but he wouldn't even be secret about it?? the lon lon sisters def gave him the advice to "just be himself" and that gave him the idea to take stuff from his woodland-spirit background

"link, why is my house filled with flowers from floor to ceiling."

"that's not a declaration of adoration here? huh."

AND HIM TAKING THE ROMANCE BOOKS? personally, i feel like he's the type to sneak into the library when (supposedly) nobodies looking and just taking whatever he can carry before sneaking back out-- but in actuality it's just that nobody cares

someone asked zelda if he was allowed to take the books because they've been coming back in a damaged state (it's not bad, but while he's workshopping how he's gonna bring words to reality, he messes up a little) and she just says its fine so long as he isn't committing crimes with them (which he has done. several times. no one knows)

ofc there are questions as to WHY he's taking the romance books specifically, but the guards and librarians just chalk it up to him entering his weird boy phase ™️ and not because he has an interest in somebody because him?? having a love interest before half the other people in the castle??? Nah.

you catch modern! time watching a (raunchy) reality show once (like love island, or jersey shore-- maybe even teen mom) and he swears up, down, to the golden three, and to the sand goddess that he just kept it on for noise and that he's paying all his attention to his work even though you caught him ON VIDEO having the most expressive reactions to certain moments

BUT THE LEATHER JACKET ONE?? someone walks up to you while you're wearing it (your relationship with time isn't common knowledge yet) and they make a joke about him burying them alive if they mess it up-- no less just because you're wearing it.

time pops up out of literal thin air making excuses that you were cold (you were not), he was hot and didn't feel like carrying it (his goosebumps say otherwise), he thought there was a tear and he wanted to try and fix it (.. yeah, okay.), he only gave it to you because you said it would go with your outfit (that is not the only reason he'd give it to you), and everything else just to try to hide the fact that he's soft

(also, bonus points if you made it??? now not even the goddesses could touch it. he's about three seconds away from giving into the inner ferality of his childhood self and biting someone if they even look at it)

but tell me why i just imagine time getting ready to like, get in a fight or something, you read something so earth-shatteringly shocking in the book, and he's immediately like "the battle can wait. [opponent] was gonna lose anyways. we have to figure out what the devil is about to happen"

i'm literally scooping ur brain from ur skull, putting it on a table, and i'm gonna examine it for the rest of ur ideas mwah

[sarcasmandships]

his! do you have any peterick fic recommendations? i've already read all your works on ao3 and i'm waiting desperately for updates so until then i need something to read because i feel like i've already read soooo many fics and i'm running out of material plz help :)

hiiii, im glad you like my fics and I'm sorry im terrible at updating i used to be so consistent but uni is just killing me with assignments rn! but i promise the restaurant au will get an update soon and im planning to edit death by a thousand cuts before i add to it again cos im just not really happy with the quality of it, but that will also be coming soon i promise!

anyways onto what you're really asking about; recommendations. im not sure if you're looking for smut or stories with plot so here's just a mix of things i've really liked ( i suck at bookmarking things so I've just searched through my history and there's deffos stuff i've missed im sorry)

Literally just read kick me in the face & ask me how my head feels by fkingdeathwish today - devoured this in a few hours and this fic made me like stories in first person. its so good and also has the best andy/joe/pete friendship dynamics i was smiling the whole time. but also features a lot of petekey tho which might not be ur thing

(smut) going down, down by @pyrchance - i read this the other day and its 10/10

Anything by snitchesandtalkers but some of my favourites are i've been checking my list, crooked love, making out inside crashed cars (smut), silver screen dream, the antidote to everything (except for me), we're friends when you're on your knees (not finished but still so so worth reading), amateur pornographers (smut obvs), a little less 16 candles (a little more bite me)

brutal love by @notastumph- this one is so good but like i also had to take a 5 min break between chapters cos the angst and heartbreak was getting to me so much (in the best way)

and i'll burn by jiksa - just read the tags first

the house on rosewood lane by scarredsodeep - this one is so fucking good, i don't even like horror and i was obsessed with this and couldn't stop reading

hey doctor, i'm certifiable by derridoid (smut) - so good and the ending made me laugh sm

husband on the payroll by das_verlorence-kind - what can i say, i love the fake relationship trope

also ive changed my plea to guilty by das_verlorence_kind - again just check the tags incase it’s not ur thing

accidents will happen by rusty76

again pretty much everything by @annoyingpetekey but some favourites are (i just wanna) get some, so pretty (when you're on your knees), and come on (and fuck me like you doubt me) - all smut

That Schrodinger guy made some really good points, you know? by @earlgreytea68

but i'm reflecting light by looks_a_scream - this one is deffos a favourite

the purgatory of my hips by auralcosm

edgar allan potato by emeralcitydowntowngirl - another absolute favourite, i have such a soft spot for soulmate AUs but I've never read one as good as this, again features a lot of petekey but it is all in the past

to take what i'm given with grace by likeasugarcube - their whole 'marriage of convience' series is amazing but this is the main fic and it is sooo good

anything by littlesnowpea but favourites include love in the middle of a firefight, but there's no preparing for this, and nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy (pls read tags first tho)

december is for cynics by looks_a_scream - another favourite

secrets i don’t want to keep by perceived_nobility (although i think they’ve changed their name to invisible_man now) anyways this one is only accessible if you have an ao3 account but it is so so good an hurts in all the best ways, would advise paying attention to some of the tags tho

Also pretty much anything written by appleremix or vampyerika

Ok so I have like another 30+ pages in my history but this is already so long, so i hope you enjoy some of these assuming you haven't read them already!

[aemiron-main]

oh im going insane

im finishing up an analysis that involves parallels that show owens likely being a father figure to henry & then i remembered. ‘peter’s school projects’. and THEN it hit me like a brick. so, i hadnt mentioned this yet but i have an analysis rn sitting in my drafts about how some of the unused costuming pieces in young henry’s wardrobe room remind me of vintage boys school uniform shirts & how the bts pics have henry wearing a pair of black leather shoes (which would be uniform code)  and just some other stuff and long story short i think there was a school uniform in his wardrobe. but it confused me bc like YES hawkins in the 50s could have had a school uniform but smthn still wasnt clicking bc why wouldnt they show him wearing the uniform during any of his hawkins scenes then?  but. if henry was living with owens and his wife......... in nevada... ruth, nevada..... a different school...... a uniform......... and the fact that nancy’s fake name at pennhurst is RUTH and the discussion about petey and summer camp happens at pennhurst.... ‘peter/petey’ and ‘ruth’ tied together AGAIN.  and owens. owens is tied to the theme of bullying because he gets angela’s charges against el dropped.  long story short i think there’s a chance henry went to school in ruth and was living with owens and got bullied at school (bc yknow. outcast weird kid) and that’s why owens is tied to the bullying imagery w angela.  ‘peter’s school projects’ -> whenever we see henry drawing in the creel house, save for the one scene in victor’s flashback where henry’s sitting at the couch, henry is drawing in his school binder, with school supplies, on lined paper, and one of his school binders even has some words written on the side of it that i need to go back and look at.  and its been stumping me like. we KNOW henry made it to the lab right after the creel murders. so when would he be at owens’ house. but then it hit me. that other analysis im working on. it also talks about henry very very likely escaping from the lab at some point and being brought back. if henry escaped. and was taken in by owens. and then the lab eventually located henry again/brenner realized henry was with owens.... this would explain why we dont see owens at the lab at all in 1979 & why he doesnt come back to the lab until s2,  until after brenner’s ‘death’ in s1. because he would have double-crossed brenner. and brenner wouldn’t have wanted him influencing henry/helping him escape again.  and there’s those mike and owens parallels i need to make a writeup on.... mike, who took in a child who escaped from the lab. owens, who likely did the same thing. mike, who dressed el up to take her to the school. owens, sending henry to school in a uniform.  this post is like. half coherent i promise i have actual evidence LMAO im gonna go work on the writeup about it bc. hm

especially considering the costuming parallels between owens vs victor creel.. both of them being father figures to henry...  smthn smthn owens-obi wan parallels (which is an analysis in and of itself) smthn smthn ‘my allegiance lies to the republic, anakin- to democracy’ smthn smthn that but its owens with the lab smthn smthn brenner either finding henry or owens GIVING henry back to the lab after some sort of incident... which is inch resting when we think about the idea of henry being bullied & how el hit angela and gave her an injury just like the one that brenner got from henry in 1979... henry using his powers against one of the kids bullying him..........  AND OK INSANE ERA TIME 

This is said to OWENS, at OWENS’ house. and henry was the attacker so henry = ghost.  why is this relevant? well. that bts pic i posted awhile back that i said might be unused footage of henry in a ghost costume as a kid..... and el with hopper in the cabin, dressing as a ghost... but not being able to go out because the lab would find her... henry going out for halloween though and something happening/getting bullied (will parallel) and maybe that’s when shit went down... resulting in him getting taken back to the lab

anyway i am insane. and Henry, if he escaped, would have escaped pretty early-on I think bc he likely would have gone the same route he took El…. and would’ve needed to be small enough to fit.

[guentzel]

q & a for fic writers

tagged by @cuprun ! tysm lovely!!

How many wips do you have currently?

this. is a dangerous question aksjdfh i am an au and wip disaster. and theres the fact theres hrpf+brpf to consider.

brpf: 24

hrpf: 20🫠

i am desperately trying to finish them but every time i start something i get distracted by another fic and just. can never finish anything (ntm theres the melancholy and self-doubt but thats beside the point!!)

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

hrpf: there's two: gilded blackbird and dirty, dirty boy. gb is taking forever because i have to rewrite it (thanks) bc the original plot/storyline did not work (why me thinking figure skating geno being injured in the usa and being abandoned by his company in the states would work narratively is beyond me) and then. ddb is smutty abo kyle dubas/tanger/geno with voyeur sid and i just. i get so close to finishing it but then feel terrible about my smut skills, and i think where i stopped writing last time is just. atrocious. and im too distracted by baseball rn to actually go through and fix it.

brpf: im not gonna be a loser and say the smut prompts (even though i am. in agony) so right now i would say rebury me. writing a fic where someone (or multiple someones) were forcibly outed bc a pornographic video they filmed with their bf got leaked is very compelling, but realizing that its going to be a long(er) fic (around 10k) makes me pause. because i want to actually do this right and good, and i kindve. seize up at the thought.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

lots of fics published in a short amount of time! or even me mentioning a fic idea i like and then said fic being published shortly after, but mainly the former. when im inspired it produces a lot of short fics in a short amount of time. in july i published six fics which was a very good time for me personally. i also started a lot of fics in that time, so thats another indicator, but thats also more like... an internal indicator

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

no playlists for specific fics! i do have playlists that are purely for "daydreaming" said fics and trying to figure out what i want and how to get it to work. it means a lot of the same songs are used over and over again for different scenarios, but i like molding the "amv" to what i want it to be.

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

the only time im organized when it comes to writing in any aspect is when im writing original work. mainly because i have rewritten the same novel 5x now and im sick of looking at it and im sick of having to do this, and being organized like this keeps it from happening in the future. with fics i go balls to the wall, basically just write what i want and leave it for a week after its done then proofread. the idea of working it like an original novel makes me nauseous, bc i wanna write what makes me happy, and just hope that it makes others happy, too.

tagging: @theflirtmeister @barkovsasha @hischiersjohnston @hughesquinn and anyone else who'd like to participate

[quodekash]

this kid getting lost is such a mood

except for me its not "getting lost on the way to the top of a mountain that's really dangerous and far away to get to", it's more like "getting lost on the way to a friend's place who lives 15 minutes away, while they were trying to tell you where to go, and also whose house you have been to more times than you can count, but then you had to sit at a playground and wait for them to come pick you up because youre just that hopeless at navigation"

WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY

THEY'RE IN THE SAME PLACE AGAIN

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING I WOULD DO OML

stop i might cry

this kid is amazing

i would trust him to guide me into the afterlife

he could take over charon's job fr

PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

im shivering so much rn, leeches give me the heebiejeebies more than like. anything

i smell merch??

(side note: why are earth/phu's arms so veiny in that shot)

i just love him so much

i hate children but i would adopt this one and take care of him better than hes ever been taken care of before

HSDHSDHHDS

HIS ONE CHARACTER TRAIT IS LOVING HOW PRAN SMELLS AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH

he's just so silly

their father/son dynamic will be the end of me

especially when i think about pat and his relationship with his actual dad :(

PLS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO OVERDRAMATIC

PHU POINTING A GUN AT A BUSH WHEN ITS DEFINITELY JUST GONNA BE ONE OF THE LOST GUYS

PAT TRIPPING OVER A ROOT

PRAN AND TIAN GRIPPING FOR DEAR LIFE SO THAT THEY CAN MAKE IT UP A SLIGHT HILL

IF THEY LOSE THEIR GRIP, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN

ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

BUT ALSO ITS SO UNNECESSARILY DRAMATIC

AND THIS IS COMING FROM A DRAMA KID

SEE????

i love him so much

GUYS CALM DOWN OMG

I CANT STOP LAUGHING

ITS LITERALLY GOING TO BE FINE

SEE????

also once again: his arm is so veiny???

THEM <33333333

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

GERHSGBDRHV

these dramatic-ass gays

(i was gonna say something about the importance of grammar there and the hyphen needing to be where it is for it to be right / make sense, but "dramatic ass-gays" would also work)

LOOK AT THEMMMMM

PHUTIAN WALKING WITH THEIR SON BETWEEN THEM LIKE THE DADS THEY ARE, AND THEIR ADOPTED SONS PATPRAN WALKING WITH THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER

THEY ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

wait how long were they gone for

HIS SMILE <3

HIS DIMPLES <3

PAT'S FACE ON THE SIDE THERE <3

T H E Y A R E D A D S

are you sure about that

theyre so important to me

<3

i really want noodles now

its 1am and i want noodles

theyre listening carefully to all the tea, tuning in to the drama

its just, some are more discreet about it than others

look at this little guy

just enjoying his noodles while the adults do their adult things

i love him so very very much

something about this image is just so funny to me

i think its the kid

i genuinely forgot his name

but i love him so much

as a 158cm tall (5'2) person, i dont like how tall they all are

knowing that ohm is 186cm tall and nanon and earth are 183cm hurts me on a deep emotional level

theyre so small. theyre such tiny little silly guys. and yet theyre all more than 20cm taller than me.

honestly i agree

he's wonderful

he's multi-talented

just like sound

by the way, soundwin = patpran and if you dont believe me, click here! (that was a seamless transition into a very casual self promo)

holy hell i love this child so much

i would protect Kampung with my freaking life

i would die for him without a second thought

i should also probably do that

my eyes keep going shut so then i need to pause the episode for like twelve seconds so i can get a little bit of sleep

its getting more and more difficult, though

i think ill finish in the morning, it's saturday tomorrow

goodnight!! bye-bye!!

[anawrites3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @zeroducks-2, thanks love 💕💕 Sorry it took me so long to answer -3-

How many works do you have on AO3? It's 44 (+1 unrevealed)! And 19 of that are DC fics

What’s your total A03 word count? 163,947 I need to post more on ao3, huh

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly DC rn, tho I have a few fics for COD

What are your top five fics by kudos? on this account all of those are bakudeku because I've been very deep in the fandom until last year lmao so I'm going to cheat a little :3 and list the ones from DC fandom to self-promote myself a little 😂

1. taking a break (alone, please) at 345! I'm really happy with that and quite surprised because it's the very first proper sladick fic I wrote! Dick gets hurt during a mission so Slade takes him somewhere to take care of the wound and maybe have a little fun while he's at that. The only problem is that Dick's comm gets turned on at some point.

2. unexpectedly beneficial at 289. This is surprise since it's a New Year fic and those, in my experience, never get that much kudso lmao It's also my second fic! Dick's stuck at Brucie's New Year Eve's party. Slade comes over to keep him company

3. bunny-shaped trouble at 230 kudos, the idea came from Claudia who sent me a prompt 💕 Dick gets turned into a bunny and takes the opportunity to annoy the hell out of Slade

4. persistence at 219! This was my entry for sladerobin week and for some reason I was very anxious so I'm glad its so high in the ranks Dick goes on an undercover mission, where he has to seduce the target. Slade isn't very happy about that.

5. conflict resolution at 217 kudos! It's the first part of the series and well, let's be honest, compared to the rest (that is posted here on tumblr now, im working on it to post it properly on ao3) it isn't very exciting but I still love it and I'm happy it's so high as well! King Slade Wilson offers the way to stop the war between Gotham and Defiance. He will stop the attacks if prince Richard becomes his royal consort.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I always do!! Sometimes it just takes me longer (like rn oops) but I always make sure to respond to comments and show people how much I appreciate them taking the moment to share their thoughts with me 💕💕

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's definitely keeping what's mine because Dick is having awful time in this one, to the point that I tagged it as hurt/no comfort because well, Dick is hurt and doesnt get any comfort. I mean, he kind of does? But it doesnt actually comfort him so yeah 😂

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I write a lot of fluff so this is actually a very difficult question lmao but I would say it's (not) willing to share which is a short domestic fluff. And Dick has a cat so that's very happy for me haha

Do you get hate on your fic? I do not, actually! And I'm a little surprised by it because sladick and batkids ships gets hated on a lot

Do you write smut? More and more lately

Do you write crossovers? Not really right now, no

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Thankfully no or at least I dont know about it lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic? Not yet but I think it would be really fun!

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I have one of those for every fandom I'm in lmao and right now it's sladick

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gosh, don't say that lmao! Buut *looks quickly through the list of my wips* probably the one I named "the middle of the night" which is like,,, undercover mision identity porn masquerade ball sladick story that Im very exciting about but for some reason I just keep moving it down on my list of wips sooo... yeah. Maybe cause masquerade balls need a lot of dance descriptions and I suck at that lmao

What’s your writing strengths? Writing dialogue! I like it a lot and I've been told I'm good at it :3

What’s your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down to start writing 😂 and more complicated descriptions like fights or dances and stuff like that, I'm still working on it

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I like it a lot actually but not if there's too much of it - just a few sentences are enough or just a few words thrown here and there, and there needs to be translation somewhere in the fic, in the notes or something because people should know what the characters are saying but yeah, I like how it directly shows that someone is speaking in another language instead of writing "he cursed in russian" or other stuff like that

First fandom you wrote for? *hides my face into my hands* Strawberry Shortcake probably... from when I was still a babey...

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? sun and sunflower, a little brudick story about Bruce being smitten and a coward

Tagging time! @roipecheur @wingdingery @blackbeanbao @enak-s and anyone who'd like to do it as well!

[definitelynotshouting]

hi! ive been binging your stuff on ao3 because it's like, super good and i love your ideas and writing anddd i had a question! so initially i was here for scarian, but youve got some dsmp fic on there that has also been included in the reading marathon and i was wondering in particular about the ghost tommy fic? would you be up for talking about any plans you mightve had for that story? it just awoke all my old sad feelings over ctommy (〒﹏〒) totally fine if not though! anways. eats ur writing <3

ANON

This is literally the sweetest compliment oh my gods... im genuinely so flattered that you've been marathon reading my stuff!!! its always such a pleasant shock to hear that people enjoy it, but liking it enough to binge read a bunch of my other works?? i am on the floor this is literally so nice

I wanna preface this by saying none of my dsmp works are abandoned!!! I almost never fully abandon fics-- i think the only one that i've ever chosen to abandon was my voltron fic, and that was for specific fandom experience reasons. Right now, all of my dsmp fics are just kinda on hold until i can get the motivation up to eventually finish them, but i know exactly where i want to go with each one.

So with that being said, you will be delighted to know that when the night cries is actually fully finished. The fic is written, i have all five chapters done. The only thing holding me back iiiiiis... the fact that the unpublished chapters are only rough draft. I freely admit i am very insecure about my rough draft writing, especially compared to what i post on ao3. It's been an incredibly huge leap for me to even post my rough draft work on here with minimal edits-- i havent gotten near to the point yet where i feel confident posting them to ao3, which is kind of a shame considering a heart choked full with wanting, my first ever work for dsmp, is a 14k wip that has never seen the light of day 😭😭😭😭

My final drafting process is intensive. I've made a few posts about this before, but i rewrite my rough drafts entirely from the ground up, using a very strict personal style guide i've developed over the years, and while it produces quality i can be proud of, it does,,, take a while 😅😅😅 a really long while. This is why the 7k scarian fic i finished months ago hasnt been posted yet lmao

So!! Rest assured i am actually picking at wtnc chapter 3 here and there!!! It's completed, i just need to rewrite it, but unfortunately my wilbur chapters are always my goddamn problem children when it comes to editing 😭😭 akdneks sorry this got so lengthy anon, but i really wanted to reassure you that wtnc isn't abandoned. Literally just for you im gonna go poke at it rn and see if i can get any more progress done, because gods know i want it published just as much as the people waiting for updates presumably do❤️❤️❤️

[ribbitdeltarune]

the post like i said. its been 2 days later (maybe a bit more. im a bit late at this point..) But! 14 of november! My birthday !!! :p didnt do anything for myself but i did spend some (more like a ton) time with friends

so ahead will just be rambling . read if u want

Alriiight so. i am. Dead. i dont post very often . Thats bcuz i dont actually have a active online presence when it comes 2 posting lol this is sorta my first time . however i did post a few times on twitter before and got a decent following but that was basically never anyway . Thank you all for (checks notes) 19 followers! That. is a first actually

however i also kinda have 2 apologize since i dont post a lot which makes this account.. uh, semi-inactive? shrug. as i did mention before in a prev post i am holding back a lotta stuff that i havent posted yet . oops! i personally dont like posting irl photos because 1) i am actually dogwater at taking photos, 3) my camera quality sucks and 2) i dont actually draw on A4 paper very often or like notebook paper at all lol. (its this small one thats more like a notebook to write stuff down stuff you gotta remember, an agenda or whatever. not like i care i use it to draw anyway. it aint got lines its just full white paper (sometimes colored depending on the one i buy) so its for drawing in my view.) but the bad thing is most drawings i made of ribbit so far are... On Paper.

Now. I can just upload them as is but i dont like doing that . i can also just make them digital drawings but if you think im capable of doing that without immediately doing something else you may be wrong

Speaking of thats mostly why this acc is also semi-inactive . whenever i DO draw digitally im probably also doing another thing at the same time so i get distracted and then get stuck on doing something else completely and forget i have to draw!!! Oopsies. im also bad at executing things (''man im gonna draw ribbit right now'' (doesnt do it) (its also a 50/50 if i actually do it or not)) so thats part of it. do i Think posting and/or drawing ribbit stuff is a chore? Not really. i actually like drawing stuff 4 this fandom and im attached 2 the characters + the mod anyway so its not like im gonna stop This soon . not even a year in yet!

I also have a lot of ideas so i hop between 'em a lot (i have so many animations/animatics in mind but guess who cant animate and also drawing frames take longer than just drawing sighs)... thats why most posts on here is just doodles so far .

to be fair though i have been in a . Uh. I guess fine. Maybe a bit bad headspace as of a few weeks now so i havent really gotten the urge/want to post rn and who knows how long that'll take to go away anyway. thinking of trying 2 get sum stuff finished and then queueing a few posts just so i can get some brainworms out of ma head . and Who Knows if i'll really do that. Future Is Mystery!

Oh and to add i still need to finish or get to like maybe the 5th chapter for a fic im working on rn so theres that too. im still on chapter 4 (progress is fine. i think ill rewrite the dream segment?) and then i will Hopefully get 2 work on chapter 5. god bless being unable to execute things AND to spice it up focus on things (sarcasm)

i am however kinda busy these days. Schoolnstuff. I get in drawing moods a lot (literally everyday bro i dont get burnt out easily or get demotivated that much bc i just finish it eventually anyway) but i need to pass math to pass the year itself so maybe no art posts until thats done. i might post every now and then though. Speaking of posting! Did you know VeeReMia is actually a pun on viremia which is, ''a medical term for viruses present in the bloodstream''. vee came first as part of the instrumental theme, and then maxine added the other syllables. Fun isnt it (i cant stop thinking about it now)

Thanks for reading . I think thats all. Maybe. Shrug.

Also current pfp is placeholder i also need 2 make one BANGS FISTS ON TABLE REPEATEDLY

[imraespace]

HIHIGIIGJijihihigiihihih dailt chekcin becofe i start my work

today was actually kinda okay ish i finally participated in my chem class and actually said something that wasnt as stupid than what i usuallt say AND THE TEACHER DIDNF SAY I WAS WRONG SO YAYAY

in my cooking class i was looking at… BOOKING FLIGHTS, HOTELS, RENTAL CARS AND RESERVATIONS FOR RESTAURANTS?? HELLO WHY IS THIS PROJECY REAL IM ABOJT TO WORK ON IT BUT I WANAN DELAY IT EVEN FURTHER CUZ IM A LITTLE UPSET RN

ididnt get jnto the graphic designer position and im like forcing myself to be upset over it or else im gonna be sad over it later and i feel like thats worse bc then at that point its gonna be irrelevant so BUT IM ALSO LIKE WHO?? CARES?????? ITS NOT THAT DEEP AND EVEN IF I DID GET IN ID BE PISSED OFF THAT IM MAKING A POSTER AND NOT STUDYING FOR A TEST OR SOEMTHING HELP and the club is actually irrelevant as hell so it doesnt even really matter

plus anyways theres another thing i signed up for so ill wait for that one instead mueheuheheh but i dont think im getting in that either but at least i applied idk …….

UMUMUM theres nothing else that happened today OH I FINISHED MY NAGI EDIT ITS BEEN FINISHED ACTUALLY HELP IDK WHEN TO POST IT EXCEPT ON SATURDAY WHEN IK IT PROBABLT WONT FLOP AS HARD 💔💔 BUTITS OKAY 😈😈 i need to think of another edit idea or finish that sae edit its been .. pending for like two months now i swear.

i have a test on friday and then another test next week tuesday for history I WANAN DROP OUT OF THE CLASS SO BAD WHY DID I CHOOSE TO TAKE HISTORY AND IM IN THE ADVANCED CLASSES TOO 💔 chem isnt that bad but im scared for the unit test but her tests dont seem as hard HELPME I FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE HARDER CUZ ITS CHEM BUT THEN AGAIN ITS ALSO LIKE IM HAPPY IT ISNT AS HARD ITS JUST I STILL DONT GET THESE TWO CONCEPTS AND I REALLT NEED TO LOCK IN FOR MY SUBJECTS

how do i even study for history cuz other than stuff like all i know is inflation, the fiat money system, and how my history teacher hates the united states and they can all suck his bald head bc they all suck and “EW AMERICANS!!!” apparently AND I SEE HIM FOR TWO PERIODS TOO HELP 💔 HE LEGIT ENCOURAGEd US TO DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AND IM LIKE HELLO ARENT U SUPPOSED TO MAKE US CONTINUE SCHOOL URE LITERALLT A TEACHER BUT OKAY.

im lowk tweaking because i reallt dont know how to study for history and my test on friday i feel so unprepared but to be fair I LEGIT HAVENT STARTED STUDYING YET AND I DONT PLAN TO UNTIL TOMORROW .. and i feel like i should start studying for my history test and im like erm maybe tmr ..! SO TECHNICALLY IF I STICK TO THE SCHEDULE I MADE FOR MYSELF IN MY HEAD WHCIH IS FINISH ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS TODAY (impossible) IT GIVES ME ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO STUDY FOR MY TWO TESTS WHICH LEAVES TIME FOR ME TO STUDY FOR MY CHEM TEST IN LIKE ESTIMATED 2-3 WEEKS BUT THEN I KNOW I CANR STICK TO SCHEDULE 💔 if i finish my cooking assignment today somehow then ill be able to do this and i sleep at like 11 pm today bc momi got mad i slept at 12 yesterday HELP. IMSORYR MOM I FELT GROSS I HAD TO SHOWER AT 11 OR ELSE I WOUDLNT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP

i usuallt shower once i get home from school but yesterday my dinner meal thign project was due so i wa slike ok i have to prioritize this over my own stinky AND I DID FINISH IT MUEHAUYAIEGAPBX NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN BUT FINISH IT IN LIKE 4 HoursHELP HOW LONG SHOULD THIS EVEN TAKE HE SAID ITS REALLT SIMPLE AND COPY PASTE BUT IM ALSO REALLY SLOW WITH ASSIGNMENTS IN GENERAL .. ☹️i get distracted too easily HELP.

i dotn even have a lock in playlist like i do my liked songs on shuffle and skip wvery songim not innthe mood to listen to i actuallt need to invest in playlists or else i cant do this shuffle liked method anymore ……

illcome baxk if i finish my project early ….. ILL ACTUALLY LOCK IN TODAY TRUST BUT DAILT UQRSTION TIME

would you rather be a gojo plushie or a smiski figure im just starign at them and theyre like right next to each other HELP I HAVE TWO FIGURES FROM THE CHEER SERIES??? IDK EXACTLY BUT THEYRE CUTE I WAS GONNA COLLECT MORE BUT 15 DOLLARS PER SMISKI MYSTERY BOX IS KINDA A SCAM FOR ME 💔

- 🐙

HAII today was okayish for me as well my typing class was kinda fun the teacher wasn't scary today!

YIPPEE!! GOOD JOBB

HELP WHAT ALL OF THAT INN COOKING CLASS??

LMAO i hope you get upset or something.. that sounds mean HELOME IDK IF I SHOULD COMFORT OR NOT

LMAO making posters sounds fun tho.. yet I make legal documents in class🙄🙄

DANG GIRL DO YIU HAVE A LIST YOU CHECK OFF WHEN SIGNING TO CLUBS?

OMG NAGII I'm gonna work on my drafts maybe on friday.. and rin smau.. I got a random rin spark of inspiration when reading these romance mangas..

OH WAIT THAT REMINDED ME THAT I NEEDED TO GIVE YOU AN EDIT IDEA ILK THINK OF ONE

ew I hate history ALSO YOU CAN DROP OUT OF A CLASS? I mean i heard of it but idk.. I'm too caribbean for this HELP

when I used to do chem I was so confused but I somehow passed history on the other hand idk what i did or if I passed or not THATS HOW UNINTERESTED I WAS IN HISTORY BC THEY DONT TEACH US STUFF THAT APPARENTLY EVERYONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS LIKE LOCAL STUFF AND IT WAS kinda boring.. SAME WITH WHEN I USED TO DO GEO THEY DIDNT TEACH US STUFF LIKE THE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS N STUFF MY FRIEND THOUGHT EGYPT WAS IN EUROPE I wasn't that bad like him.. BUT THATS MY POINT THEY DONT TEACH US IMPORTANT STUFF HERE so luckily I had business! well I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery or maybe a pre-school I like children and I have patience I think.. everyone thinks I'm crazy heh.. maybe I am..

HELPME THAT TEACHER REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DRAMA TEACHER he saw my gc messages once and HE TOOK OFF WITH MY PHONE

DANG SM MOTIVATION I wish I have that LMAO I asked my momma for help and she said when she used to go to school when she comes home she just go n play games ans she never studied she just had a good memory😂😂😐😒😒😒 I DONT I FORGOT WHAT I DID THIS MORNING I have no motivation hahaha..

YOUR MOM GETS MAD AT YOU? well mine does as well bc since I'm anemic I need 8 hours of rest bur (I don't go to sleep early) so I always get yelled at when I feel lightheaded BUT I TAKE NAPS IN THE AFTERNOON sometimes SO I HAVE A BURST OF ENERGY IN THE NIGHT plus I'm reading so

LMAO I GET DISTRACYED EASILY AS WELL that's why I'm up at 11pm and haven't started my notes bc imON MY PH9JE

ou playlisys are my favorite thing ti make! I have like 20 playlists public bc apparently I learnt my friends use them bc one asked me when I'm gonna update it and I'm like whag ans I have a bunch more in private

i woukd rather a smiski bc i searched it up and it looks cutiepie!

IDK WHAT'S A SMISKI OR WHAT SERIES IR HAVE

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 03/12/2024:

I'm interested to know what your writing process is like! I know you have several wips right now (and I'm so excited to get to read them hopefully in the future) so how do you choose what to work on? Do you just write on the wip depending on your mood for the day? or do you stick to one until you finish it and then move on to the next one? Do you also do outlines or just go in with feelings?

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION SINCE I MADE MY RETROSPRING ANON I QUITE LITERALLY LOVE YOU (yes... i am an attention whore and narcissist that likes talking about myself i am so sorry) but . um. sorry i get excited. i just like chatting and discussing things 🥹🥹

so one thing about me is i TRY to choose what to work on and make lists but i ultimately fail. i don't control shit. you will see my tweet about wip lists on twt "i will finish gumakeria aml spinoff for valentines day" no im fucking not. "ok i work on this in march, this during summer..." no i absolutely wont. im not listening to a thing. i just work on whatever im inspired by atm. its all very messy and uncoordinated. i have wips from last year i haven't finished, yet i have a published fic that i thought of and completed in two weeks (??). make it make sense. some of my older wips need to be let out of the dungeon i nEED to work on them. SOME OF THEM DONT EVEN MAKE SENSE TO BE RELEASED ANYMORE BECAUSE ITS LIKE TIME-RELATED AND my own self ruined that. like i have 2023 summer fics in the works. i could've written and released them during worlds?? but no i worked on aml instead. by the time i release those time-relevant fics its going to be so long ago. will anyone care about them? should i even write them at this point? i don't know. :| why am i a mess. my mind is literally a mess. why do i do this to myself.

so yeah, i just choose to work on based on vibes/how i feel which leads to a lot of fics in the dungeon. i will eventually get re-inspired and finish those, but who knows how long that's going to take. i do work on one wip at a time pretty much, but not necessarily until i finish it. oftentimes ill choose an idea and finish it then move onto the next one, but like i said, sometimes i will abandon said wip to go work on and finish another. i have like 10k of a camp half blood au rotting in the dungeon. also 8k of this piltover au gumaoner ive been trying to finish since may of last year. longfics also fuck up my schedule a bit because of how... long they are. i usually work on them consistently for quite a while and work on other smaller fics in the meantime. i think i started the hunger games au in may of 2023? im not even close to done because i kinda jotted down the starting ideas, didn't touch it until november (so, after i finished writing "all my love"), and then like didnt touch it all of worlds bc i was pissed off at it. then i picked it up again in 2024 (rewriting all 50k i had written previously) and that's what im working on in the background rn. "background" as in i will put it aside if i have a shorter fic idea to work on and quickly publish. like i abandoned it for 2 weeks to work on the kindred showmaker&chovy fic. you see what i mean?

all my wips typically start with an idea and one or two lines of dialogue. ("imagine being loved by me" started with the two lines "where do i belong / with me, of course.") or i'll listen to music to get an idea which the lines/scene then spawn from, or i see some picture of some proplayer (keria with "don't blame me") ill jot them on a google doc or a discord server, and then when im inspired ill expand on it, and eventually finish it! a lot of my scene ideas happen in my head before writing. sometimes ill think whole scenes through in my head, including dialogue and actions, before putting it to paper (or, document on the computer i guess). other times it just comes as i write. sometimes i write fics in one sitting ("homemade dynamite") but most of the time its longer than that, whether it be a week or like, months lol.

as for outlines, i do not use outlines. barely, anyway. honestly, outlines would probably help me a lot! i used them twice i think (both recent fics, huh), once with "take a bite" because fluff is so fucking hard to write i needed help, and another time with "the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb" because i wrote the ending for that fic first and needed help filling it in. but yeah, generally no outlines. oftentimes i have a whole detail of the story in my head to begin with, or i just write and sees what comes out. again, i am not organized in the least. rip me.

i also... don't write chronologically as you might've been able to tell. i like bounce between wips and scenes. the very first scene of aml i wrote was actually the scene of wooje driving the mustang again for the first time in chapter one! typically, like i said, my wip ideas will start with a few scene, and only once i have those down will i write chronologically to link up the other scenes and complete the fic!

soo i hope that sort of like explained/gave you some insight on my very messy writing process (i have a very messy brain.) as a parting gift i will give you a wip list that i will definitely not follow. do not fucking trust me. 1. hunger games au. 2. worlds fakenut. 3. yeah why am i making a list im not going to follow it. BUT I WANT TO FINISH THE HUNGER GAMES AU SO BAD ITS TAKING SO LOOOOONG OH MY GOD. okay, anyway. i love you. thank you so much for asking 🥹🫶🫶!! i hope you have an amazing day <3

[fearowkenya]

i am so close to finishing my replay of ff7r ive got like maybe 4-6 hours left then i can FINALLY play intermission dlc so that i can FINALLY play rebirth and then FINALLY the mental crop rotation can go back to art or writing (altho i cant promise the art wont be ff7 focused for a while longer, cloud and associates got me gripped real tight rn)

(this got really long so im putting the rest under a readmore so it doesnt make anybodys dash like 5 miles long)

id really like to keep streaming when im done playing ff7 stuff, like art streams are smth id really like to do but im sort of at a loss for what to do setup-wise. i dont have the means or desire to put together a way to stream traditional art so it would have to be digital.

i detach my screen from my keyboard to draw on the touch screen which disconnects the screen from the graphics card i think. or SOMETHING like that . the graphics card I stream with is in the base of the laptop and obs does NOT play nice with the secondary one on the monitor. which means i cant stream with the screen detached.

ive tried streaming with my computer in Drawing Mode which essentially is with the screen on backwards so that its angled toward me with the keyboard inaccessible. it's annoying to stream like that tho because i can then ONLY use the touch screen and cant type anything or use keyboard shortcuts. its manageable if im not streaming but really annoying when im streaming and have to hop between drawing program and messing around w/ obs

i have a little bluetooth keyboard that i could use to get around this but its pretty tiny and while it DOES work the problem is that im not used to how the keys are spaced and i fumble constantly. also theres a delay in the input sometimes (i bought this keyboard from the secondhand store for like 4 dollars so it came with a little wear-and-tear)

and then trying to draw with the screen on normally obvious works the best streaming-wise but the angle that the screen is at with the keyboard in the way has my wrist hurting in like. 45 minutes.

i dont really want to use my external tablets - they're pretty old at this point and ive gotten used to drawing directly on the screen , and i have no desire to get a tablet with its own screen. i imagine cintiq and cintiq-equivalent tablets are still pretty pricey, and even if i had the budget, the entire point of me getting a touch screen computer was to be able to draw on it directly and cut down the number of steps it takes to get started, to keep the adhd demons at bay.

i think the solution is probably just adapting to the tiny bluetooth keyboard . i've messed around with using switch joycons for my keyboard shortcuts and while it actually worked really well it still doesnt fix the problem of shit keyboard access if i need to google a reference pic or smth lmao. touch screen keyboards just dont do it for me i always feel clumsy when im not able to actually feel separate keys. it frankly feels even worse than my tiny bluetooth keyboard

actually one of the main hurdles for me wrt drawing digitally is that i havent figured out a screen configuration that makes pulling up reference pictures feel seamless. its very jarring and clunky to have to tab between screens and i know theres a little window you can plop ref images into in clip itself but i Still find it pretty awkward to use. i think my screen size might be the issue though, so id probably want to use my tv as a second monitor and throw the ref images up there. which DOES work , ive tried it, but the problem is that . well. it's a touchscreen computer. and the bluetooth keyboard doesnt have a trackpad, because why would you need one for a touch screen. except that. the second monitor isn't a touch screen. its my entire goddamn television. i cannot access it via touchscreen. so i have to then plug in a mouse. and then at that point i am juggling the bluetooth keyboard, the joycons for faster keyboard shortcuts, AND a mouse to access the external monitor.

that setup is honestly doable i just feel so clumsy trying to navigate it. im sure with time id acclimate to it and it would become more streamlined as i make adjustments. im getting ahead of myself tho hahah im still at least five hours out from finishing my replay of remake, and then i hear the dlc is like ~4 hours so youd probably have to make that at least 6 for me because i play video games really slowly. and then rebirth is like what. 40 hours for just story?? jesus christ i just checked howlongtobeat and its over 80 hours with sidequests. thats like double the length of remake . GOD im so excited to play it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[huntedspy2]

gonna scream into the void for a second

trying to be more genuine with myself and others. Reaching out or complimenting people even if I'm scared to do so. opening up to people more, asking for help or setting boundaries. I also want to feel less scared of how I use tumblr. I want to be able to use my main blog without feeling like ill annoy others, or being more open about my kin identities. I often feel cringe for it which makes no sense because this is the "cringe website". like I can and should be myself this is my online experience

I was planning to redesign my blogs' structures before making the Big Switch but I think that's what's holding me back

For about a month now too I've been building a personal website on github purely for my gender hoard, kinlist, and pronoun/name info. It was originally for ponytown (lol) but it's been helping me improve my html and css skills andddd its been making me feel more inspired to make a general personal website

the ideas I have for a personal website would to just make it my place. I want to have info about my ocs on there, thoughts on certain media, random pages with useless shit that are there just because its fun. and I want to include stuff like the gender hoard and kinlist pages on there too because again, I want to be more genuine

I am the most stressed and anxious I've been in so long. my jaw clenching has started up again, I'm getting acne again, I constantly feel tense and my chest is always anxious feeling and tight, I've been losing the motivation to make meals and eat and losing energy. I cant keep up with college and at this point I don't know if I made the right choice in computer science. I have a passion for working with computers, but I realize now that passion leaned more towards the IT side of things and. im in CS. I have no motivation or ideas for doing projects outside of coursework unlike a lot of my peers. I'm closeted so I feel like I'm just fitting their stereotype of "girl cant do cs!!!!!". fuck!!!!!!!!

parents stressing me out and overall not taking into accountability I have disabilities

thats another thing, I haven't been able to get my ADHD properly treated since I got it diagnosed 4years ago. I also know im autistic but I dont want to get formally diagnosed bc of several issues, so speaking up for myself with that disability is impossible when my parents don't think im autistic and don't like self diagnosis

maybe its not too late to finish my degree and do a 180 and get into 3d modeling. I'm sure my passion with art could mesh with my programming skills there or something

I don't know who I am really. I always feel like other people have aesthetics or themes that fit them, and here I am with so many different interests in aesthetics and themes that I cant choose one. hoe do people choose a theme for a website? how do people decorate their profiles with a clear and solid theme? I feel like I always have 20 different themes that I want at the same time, its hard to choose one and have people only perceive that one with you

I have a headache rn

on the plus side i also had the tastiest clementine in possibly my whole life

I always remind myself I am only 21 I am so young in the grand scheme of things. but outside pressure wants me to know who I am at this exact moment. its so hard

fish and aquariums have quickly become a special interest within the last 2 months id say. im debating between a 10 or 20 gallon and what id stock it with. im thinking honey gourami and neon tetras and shrimp, but I love the idea of a betta fish or a crayfish. I've had to take care of a crayfish before they're lively little creatures

I want to be more social with people and make new friends or at least gaming friends, but im always apprehensive because I know ill be masking. need to try to open up more, might play more vrchat to socialize but its hard

[steaksex]

Oh no. I may need to i fodump about my stupid dnd character thata not even in a campaign rn here so im not annoying in other places. Sorry lmao im developing a relationship for a backstroy that probably wont come up and not only is tantix fuckin this other guy NARSTY (i think his name is going to be artin because its funny because hes like an art guy and it came up in the elf name generator) and its funny because tantix is 3'4 and artin is 6'5. Sorry this was meant to be a warning only but i meed to infodump NOW id add a readmore if i could

Anyways tantix is a gnome artificer who is fascinated by machinery and utilizing magic in practical, less 'glamorous' ways. Using magic to manipulate magnets and shit. He used to work with a partner (artin) and it was like for decades that they worked together (elves and gnomes yanno) and artin did the design stuff and the ergonomics. Tantix made things happen and artin sanded down the edges and made it feasible to use and it is suchhh a metaphor for how they interacted. Tantix cares about safety because hes probably seen people be like. Crushed w gears. Guy who keeps a first aid kid in every room. Artin doesnt care as much because he doesnt see the precautions as safety nets but as restraints. After an argument about that and some other shit i imagine im still workin on it artin, knowing tantix will be able to keep a fire contained and wont die and also being kind of fucking pissed takes the plans they made, decades and decades of blueprints and sketches and ideas both big and small, and burns them all. Artin ran off after that (always being the less practical and dramatic of the two lmao) and tantix saw all his work to this point being burnt and reached in to salvage what he could. He got burnt in the process and disnt save that much of his work. Hes pissed at artin and hurt, and both of them are a bit more unhinged without the other to tether them. Tantix is prickly and while he can do good work, its a slog to try to talk to him. Artin was always better with talkong to people but wasnt so good at staying realistic and is provably off somewhere working on the thousandth half finished project and also being there to get pulled in as like a boss or something in a real session

Okay now you read the lame ass lore you can hear about them fuckin. Anyways you knowwww those two have crazy insane fucking machines right like these dudes have remote control vibrators and also theyre both pretty strong so like. They make it work even though one is twice the others height. Oh also theyre both trans and im getting silly w it its magic. Anyways tantix doesnt even need to lay down for artin ti sit on his face, artin keeps his hair long and tantix takes full advantage of that. They never officially dated but there is that like. Awkward ex energy there presently. In the past which is the now of this text post tantix is sitting on the workbench 'taking a break' to 'come up with more ideas' while artin is palming him and speaking close to his ear trying to prompt him to talk. Also for eases sake artin has some crazy gender shit going on i may use they/them for artin but either way artin is using magic to fuck tantix so good bro you dont even know like full on tentacles. I do not think theyve ever kissed outside of sex though sorry im a fan of that sorta dynamic they pretend to be professionals even when artins legs are shaking because theyve got a magic vibrator in them that gets stronger every time they stumble over a word. Tantix has crazy fucking straps bro its like fucking him and fucking them at the same time or like tantix tries to 'convince' artin to be more conscientious of wearing like. Safety goggles. And his plan is to fuck artin until he cant form words and then tantix has to like roll them onto a dolly to roll them back to bed because its just hard to carry something that big. This is so so nothing but i needed to get this out SOMEWHERE not even just the sex stuff (but i am listening to ayesha erotica rn so im in that sorta mood lmfao) but the relationship stuff

By the way i jist need people to know if i do for real talk about tantix or if i chicken out he used to get nasty sloppy gay trans sex but now he doesnt anymore which is why hes such a douchebag if he was getting eaten out on a workbench he would be so much normaler

[stanurines1mp]

His Fault

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader (she/her)

type: pure angst

an: i know this isn't aot and on wattpad, its posted in my aot book but whatever. anyways, here's my first oneshot of Toru and uh, it's just pain, isn't it. have fun reading lmfao. im more focused on a Satoru fanfic rn tho. follow my Tumblr for more content tho. same user as here. any requests, let me know :)

warnings: manga spoilers for Gojo's past arc, death, mentions of blood, pure painful angst. pretty sure that's it but let me know if i missed any :)

~~~

Satoru knew it was his fault the first time he lost you. He had so many chances, so many opportunities to make you permanently his but not once did he take it.

Satoru remembered the day he met you. It was just a typical day for him. He didn't expect that day to be the day he met you. The day he met such a sweet angel.

That was another thing. Never did he expect to have fallen for someone like you.

Someone normal.

Because he, Satoru Gojo, the world's most powerful sorcerer (or at least he will be), fell in love with a normal schoolgirl.

Your father owned a cafe and on the evenings after school, you'd often visit him to assist him in anything he needed. But most of the time, you would take a table, the furthest one from everyone else, and begin doing your work.

You liked the surrounding of the cafe. There weren't too many people that it was hectic and packed, but there weren't too few people that it became sad for your father's business. It was just the perfect amount of customers.

You weren't really a people person but you do enjoy people watching. You found it quite interesting looking at the customers coming in and out of the shop.

And you certainly found them interesting.

On that one day, you were busy finishing up your homework.

Seated at the furthest table from everyone to avoid being a disturbance to the business, papers and books were sprawled out on the table, a cup of tea and a plate of Danish pastry accompanying you.

You heard the bell letting out a short ring, an indication that a new customer had arrived. Every time the bell sounded, your head would perk up from the pile of papers to see the figures arriving. That day, you saw two tall boys, probably around your age, coming in.

They wore top matching jackets, their pants the same color but of a different style. The boy with the messy white hair had slim tight pants while the boy with the dark hair had baggy style pants.

The white-haired boy wore a pair of sunglasses, covering your field of vision from seeing his eyes. The dark-haired boy had long hair, half of it tied up in a bun. His eyes were small, slightly overshadowed by his bangs.

Even from that view, you could tell they were both very handsome. They had lean, tall figures, slim and slender. Although, the white-haired boy was taller than the other one.

There was something rather intriguing about them. Like a magnetic force, causing you to almost get captured by their essence.

Going by your nature, you turned your head back to your work, trying to finish it as soon as you can. But going against your nature, you couldn't help but lose focus on your work, instead, you were hung up on the two figures.

"Let's get the cheesecake, some macarons- Oh! Strudels! Let's get peach, apple? Yeah, let's get the apple. Hmm, that chocolate roll looks good. We'll get that, too," the white-haired one excitedly pointed. "You?"

"I'll just take some of yours," he gently let out.

"Okay, then. Oh, strawberry shortcake! I love those. Let's get one," the boy giggled while clapping excitedly.

You could imagine the shocked look on your father's face when the man declined his desserts to be boxed as a to-go. The imagined sight of your father made you want to giggle. You had to suppress yourself from bursting into a fit of laughter as to not gain attention to yourself.

After paying, the boys made their way to find a table. You prayed and prayed that they would sit at a table a little further away from you.

But the universe was not on your side that day because they chose to sit at the table right next to yours. You tried ignoring their presence but God, what the fuck was up with them and why the fuck can't you focus on this stupid work?

"You sure you don't want anything else, Suguru?" The white-haired teen asked.

"Yeah, I'm still full," the other boy replied.

The white-haired boy had a voice more teasing and giggly compared to the dark-haired boy. Either way, you found yourself unable to continue your work.

To pair with your empty plate that once held a pastry, you emptied your cup by taking a long sip of your tea. You let out a sigh of frustration before standing up, the empty plate and cup in your hands.

As you stood up to walk towards the counter, you felt two pairs of eyes boring onto your figure, following your movements. You tried your best to ignore it, hoping it was only just your imagination. You contemplated whether or not to grab a little bit more food since your work was far from done.

"Honey, can you send these to those boys over there?" Your father asked, showing you a tray full of desserts.

"Alright," you nodded, putting down your empty plate in exchange for the tray.

God, oh God, why?

Nevertheless, you brought the tray, making your way to the table of teens. A smile was formed on your complexion for hospitality as you gracefully walked to the boys.

Upon your arrival, the white-haired teen excitedly perked up, a wide smile on his pale complexion. He excitedly clapped as you placed the plates in between the two boys. The light-haired boy had taken off his sunglasses, allowing you a view of his pair of eyes.

And oh Lord, you had never seen blue eyes as beautiful as his.

"I thought you were a customer," the dark-haired teen spoke. You assumed his name was Suguru based on before.

"Oh no, my father owns the shop," you kindly explained with a sweet tone.

"Lucky," the white-haired boy said.

After that day, you found your days being filled with their presence. For a whole week, day after day after day, they keep coming back. And each time, they'd take the table nearest to you.

Until finally, they built up their courage to ask you for your name and proper introductions were made.

Satoru was honestly surprised with himself at how he behaved in getting to know you. Normally, Satoru had no struggle when it came to charming girls. With his good looks and witty personality, it came easy to him.

But with you, he found himself shying away.

Especially when he learned the truth of his best friend.

At the point when Satoru knew Suguru's secret, the three of you had been friends for more than a year. You were part of their friend group too, now.

Since you were just a normal person, curses and the Jujutsu world were something of the unknown to you. At first, they weren't sure if they should tell you but even so, they would easily exorcise any curses that dared neared you.

When they finally told you the truth, it took quite some time for you to believe them. Because seriously, curses and magic? Sounded like a bullshit prank Satoru would pull.

But when you were truly convinced of it, things started to make more sense. And your friendship with them only grew stronger.

But alongside friendship, something else grew.

You found yourself looking forward to the day after school when you'd be at the cafe and soon, both Satoru and Suguru would walk in, taking their seats by your table.

You found yourself loving how Satoru would shower you with flirtatious compliments, often leaving you to be a blushing mess.

But you knew not to get too attached to a non-existent deeper meaning of his actions. Because you've seen the way girls act around him and vice versa.

Satoru was a player and though you have fantasized about being with him, you knew he didn't feel the same for you.

But Suguru was a different case.

He was always a gentleman, with his sweet voice and caring actions. It wasn't that Satoru was a bad guy, it was just that he never looked at you the same way you always looked at him.

Or so you thought.

Because ever since he stepped foot in your father's cafe, all Satoru could think about was getting to know you. He had no idea what it was but there was something about you that pulled his attention.

It wasn't just that he thought you were extremely beautiful, it was more than that. Because of that strange feeling, Satoru didn't immediately hit on you like he would with anyone else.

He wanted to actually get to know you. And when he did get to know you, Satoru was sure he was head over fucking heels in love with you.

And Satoru never wondered about his self-worth. But you always made him question himself.

Was he good enough of a man to be with you?

He finally realized that even if he wasn't good enough, he would do whatever he could to be the best for you. To be the man you deserved. He was ready to confess, to let you know the feelings he'd kept secret from you and Suguru.

But then Suguru's own secret became truth to him.

"Can I tell you something?" Suguru once asked Satoru in the middle of the night when the outside world had gone to sleep but he couldn't because his mind was kept awake with thoughts of you.

The same could be said for Satoru but Suguru held no knowledge of that.

"What's up?"

"I'm in love with Y/N," Suguru confessed to his best friend.

At that moment, Satoru experienced his first heartbreak.

His best friend was in love with the girl he loved.

And the worst thing was that Suguru was a much better man than Satoru ever could be.

Satoru loved his best friend but he sometimes found himself envious of Suguru. Suguru was kind and basically just fucking perfect.

Suguru was the blueprint of the man you deserved in life. He could give you the type of life you wanted. A family, white picket fence, loving home life.

Compared to Suguru, Gojo knew he was incomparable when it came to your love.

So for years, Satoru watched as his two best friends fell in love with each other.

That was the first time Satoru lost you.

When he took too long to realize that he was willing to be the best version of himself for you. It took him too long to realize that you were the girl of his dreams. It took him too long and now, he lost you.

When Suguru first told you the truth about his feelings, you weren't truly sure what you felt. Of course, you knew he was a good person and he would treat you well. And it wasn't that you didn't feel the same. It was just that you also felt the same for Satoru.

But again, you knew Satoru could never reciprocate.

So why would you waste someone as good as Suguru for a person who could never love you?

You and Suguru had so many great days, lasting years. You loved him just as he loved you. You both always tried your best not to exclude Satoru because he was still your best friend alongside Suguru.

Satoru tried his best to let go of his feelings for you. He always reminded himself that you were with Suguru.

Of course, Gojo would never do anything to ruin your relationship with Geto. Because he saw how happy you were with Geto.

You always wore a smile when you'd greet them both, a quick peck on the lips for Geto and a quick tight hug for Satoru.

But even though your greeting hugs were quick, they were warm, always leaving your scent lingering on his shirt.

And Satoru adored it. He adored you.

Satoru knew that that was his fault.

And he knew what happened next was also his fault.

It started when Geto and Gojo were assigned the confidential mission of protecting the Star-Plasma Vessel. It was work that needed to be done discreetly, not something that came as hard for Satoru and his best friend. Things were going so well and they managed to almost get the girl to the safety of Master Tengen's barrier.

But fate was not on their side that day.

The young girl died.

Her death took a heavy toll on both Satoru and Suguru. Your partner was the one accompanying the girl when the ostracized man of the Zenin clan shot her in the head. Suguru blamed himself for not being able to protect her when it was his responsibility.

They returned back home, searching for you and your comfort. You had no idea regarding the details but you knew it wasn't good. Because Satoru was silent the whole time, something completely out of his character.

You hoped that your consolement was good enough for them.

Unfortunately, your comfort only truly reached one of them.

After they graduated from their school, Satoru was assigned more missions compared to Geto since he was the man he meant to be; the world's most powerful sorcerer.

He hated that.

He hated being that.

He just wanted to be yours.

But one day, Suguru went to see you.

His face was not the one that you first saw on him the day of your first meeting.

It was different. Heartbroken. Traumatized.

When you asked what happened, he told you that a junior of his had died. The whole night, you let him stay within the confines of your arms. You made sure to let him know how much you loved him.

But since that day, there was something rather dark within his once kind eyes. You didn't know what it was but it scared you.

You talked to Satoru about it and even he noticed the slight changes in his best friend. But neither he nor you could pinpoint what it was.

And it tortured you to see the man you loved being so troubled and there was nothing you could do for him.

Satoru had just gotten back from a mission alone. He was exhausted and the news that greeted his arrival was not one he expected at all.

"You're fucking kidding," he scoffed, humor lacking in between his words.

"Unfortunately, it's true," Yaga disappointedly looked down. "One hundred and twelve non-sorcerors, dead. All massacred at the hands of Suguru Geto."

That was his second heartbreak.

Losing his best friend to the dark side.

Because he was too blinded by the responsibility of being the strongest, he couldn't help Suguru.

It was his fault.

Everything felt like they were his fault.

"We think he might be going after non-sorcerors," Yaga informed grimly.

No.

Satoru felt panic rushing throughout his entire being.

No, God, please, no.

Not non-sorcerors.

Because you were a non-sorceror.

And you were in Suguru's life.

No.

He would never. Right?

Satoru was almost sure that Geto would never hurt you.

Almost was the right word, indeed.

Because as Satoru ran into your house, your name leaving his lips in panicked screams, you were lying on the floor, tears bleeding out of your eyes. Satoru couldn't keep away the tears overflowing his eyes at the sight of you.

The love of his life was dying.

And it was his fault.

His fault because he couldn't save you from his best friend.

His fault because he couldn't save his best friend from the dark side.

His fault, his fault, his fault.

"No, no, no, no, Y/N, stay with me," he cried, carefully cradling you into his arms.

He didn't want to worsen your injuries, scared that he'd lose you straight away. You were crying, hating yourself for everything that happened.

The blood that seeped out of your body was staining Satoru's uniform but he didn't care.

How could he care if you were there on the verge of dying?

He was ready to teleport you to the school, have Shoko use her reversal technique on you but you stopped him.

"Don't," you hiccuped.

"What? Y/N, I'll get you safe," he shook his head but your hold on his arm tightened to gain his attention.

"Please don't. It's no use, Toru," you cried, nose sniffling from the tears and blood.

"I can save you. Shoko will cure you-"

"I don't want her to," you shook your head. "Let me die, Toru, please," you begged, blinking hard as tears fell.

You begged for him to let you die.

How could he ever agree to that?

Why would he ever agree to a life lacking your presence?

But he did.

Because you asked him.

You asked him because you were scared to live.

You asked him because in the moments before his arrival, the only thing clouding your mind was the darkness held within your partner's eyes as he ran a dagger through your stomach.

You knew Geto wouldn't stop, no matter what, to get what he wanted.

And he wanted to kill you.

You saw that.

He wanted to kill you.

And you were scared to live, always running, looking over your shoulder.

So you wanted to die.

And you knew it hurt, but you had to ask Satoru to do that.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault, I'm so sorry," Satoru cried, his large palm caressing your tired face.

"It's okay, Toru."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I should-"

"I love you," you whispered.

In your final moments, you had to let him know.

The secret you kept in your heart after all these years, you had to let it out.

Even as you loved Suguru, you never stopped loving Satoru.

And you wondered if maybe Suguru knew that.

You wondered if you deserved to die at his hands because you had your heart parted.

Either way, you had to tell Satoru.

"I've always loved you," you smiled weakly.

"What?"

"I know you don't feel the same, but I just had to let you know," you sadly let out, finding his hand in yours.

"I love you," he replied, crying before he pressed his lips against yours.

You kissed back immediately, finding home in the confines of his arms and lips.

"Thank you for coming into my life, Satoru," you whispered, your last words replaying in his head as he held you tightly in his arms while you let out your last breath.

That was the second time he lost you.

This time, permanently.

His third heartbreak.

If only he hadn't come into your life, you'd still be alive.

He was the one who wanted to try that cafe.

He was the one who wanted to sit next to you because he thought you were just the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

It was him.

And it was his fault for you knowing Suguru.

His fault.

Everything bad that ever happened, Satoru realized, had been his fault.